#whew lad

[edgelordfucker]

Ok picture this reader climbing up onto Belos’ head like a raccoon

She has the strength and muscle to climb his height (I like to think that the reader is considerably short like 5’4 max) and Belos is able to sustain their weight on his head because he’s literally seven and a half feet tall WITHOUT his Emperor gear on with it on he is NINE FEET TALL so y/n is just like picking up a feather to him

CONSIDERABLY SHORT AT 5'4 MAX. ANON I AM HITTING YOU WITH A STICK. ANON. ANON HOW TALL ARE YOU. I'M 5'2 ((and a half)) AND NORMAL ABOUT IT (clearly) SO IF 5'4 IS THE CUT-OFF FOR "considerably short" WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME. ANON. COME OVER HERE ANON I JUST WANT TO TALK.

jfsdjkf sorry this isn't exactly what you asked for, but it's the first thing that came to mind that made me laugh! I hope you like it! 🖤🖤🖤 ((Quick set-dressing, I'm pretending that there's a big 'Coven Day Fun Day' before the parade, like a cross between a field day and a carnival, where all of the coven heads come, and they invite the brightest from their covens and their families, and some members of the public, so it's a whole big thing, and that's where the reader and Belos are.))

"Alright, so-" You put your hands on your waist, sizing up the tree and the black balloon tangled in its branches. "You can't reach it, and, I mean, I could-" Belos snorts. "Look, I'm sorry that you feel like you need to see my telescoping bones to believe that I have them, when it's super common knowledge that all humans just have telescoping bones." You glance at him, askance, and then add, with the utmost pity, "That's sad for you."

"I just find it interesting that this 'common knowledge' only came up last week," he replies, doing some consideration of both the tree and the balloon himself. "While you were losing at Witch Scrabble."

"Fuckin'- I have a pancreas." You bobble your head at him. "We've never talked about my pancreas, but I for sure have that. Do you doubt my-" you motion generally at the entirely wrong spot for a pancreas to be in you body. "-pancreasity since I didn't introduce myself like," you hold your hand out to him for a handshake, with overwrought enthusiasm, "Hi! My name is-" Suddenly, a loud bird cries out overhead, drowning you out for a split second, "-and I have telescoping bones and a pancreas!" You let your hand drop, shrugging sarcastically. "I'm sorry that I don't perform bones on command."

"That's not where the pancreas is."

"Oh, so you believe that I have a pancreas, and not telescoping bones? Sight unseen?" you shoot back.

"I know you have a pancreas," he starts, haughty, "because I have a pancreas, and humans and witches have the organ in a similar place." You splutter.

"Fuckin'- Okay, Diogenes, if you use yourself as a ruler to measure against every experience, does that make every plucked chicken a man? Just because you're seven and a half fucking feet tall, does that make me small? No! Because you're a big, big, man." The cadence of the last words makes him think you're referencing something, but it's beyond him.

"Plato." He slips it into your brief pause for breath.

"What?" This stops you in your tracks.

"Plato defined a man as a featherless biped. You would be Diogenes, if I'm following your argument."

"Why," you ask, cocking a hip, "do you know that?"

"Actually," he adds, in a bid to redirect your attention, "I would call you considerably short."

"I would call you a bigot, and divorced." A sensation of warmth settles over him. This is one of his favorite of your rhetorical devices, letting him know that you were married only when you playfully divorce him. Belos shifts his weight towards you, crowding further into his already intimate occupation of your space.

"We're not married," he says, softly. A strand of hair has worked itself loose in the wind, and he tucks it behind your ear, tracing the hollow of it with his fingertips.

"That makes it even easier to file the paperwork," you reply, just as gentle. As he pulls his hand back, you catch it to steal a quick kiss from his knuckles, looking straight into his eyes beyond the mask, before you let it fall into place at his side. His heart gives a hard thump.

"It just seems like," he says, trying to wrestle the conversation into his control, "it would be easier to use your. 'Telescoping bones'," his tone lends a dubious drip to the words, "instead of...," he gestures with a put-upon vagueness, "let's say, for example, sitting on the floor of the kitchen-"

"Stop," you cut in, with an affected flatness, already seeing what he's getting at.

"-crying." He pauses just long enough for it to poke at you, without you being able to talk over him. "Because you couldn't reach the top cabinet."

"I wasn't- I didn't cry, I just teared up a little bit-" He tilts his head.

"I distinctly remember tears."

"I was! Sweaty! From navigating your freakish counters-"

"Which would've been much easier to do with telescoping arms."

"Show me your pancreas." It takes Belos a split second to switch gears, and you pounce. "Show me. Pull it out. Show me your pancreas."

"My... pancreas? My pancreas that is inside of me?"

"You process sugar? You consume glucose? Lemme see it."

"What do you think a pancreas does?"

"You can't gaslight me about the pancreas - it's my best friend, and it has a tail."

"I thought that I was your best friend."

"Not right now!"

The breeze picks up, and your balloon shivers dangerously against the branches, the string slipping just a little looser. You gasp.

"No! My balloon!" Turning to him with a disproportionate determination than the situation warrants, you continue, "Look. We have something at stake here bigger than the telescoping bones that all humans have, and the fact that you're wrong to doubt me when I say that I have telescoping bones." Belos kisses his teeth. "We gotta get up there. And I think, with our powers combined-" You shake yourself. "Wait- You're fucking magic!"

"No, please," there is a wild glee in his voice, as he makes some assumptions, "I want to see where this is going."

"No! Do some magic, magic man. Why have we been standing here-"

"You've been very insistent about your pancreas, and I didn't want to interrupt. Only polite."

"Sh- stop. Balloon." You point at it. He looks to you, down the line of your arm, to the balloon, where it is nervously knocking against a particularly menacing branch, and then back to you.

"I'm terribly sorry, but, unfortunately, I don't perform on command."

"That's bullshit. If you're not gonna get it, I'm just going to use you as a step ladder," you threaten.

"That would make this years 'Coven Day Fun Day' very interesting, now wouldn't it?"

You glance over to the side, where there are several poorly concealed photographers, and one that is using an illusion to make it look like they're poorly concealed; Belos can see straight through it, and startles them by looking at them directly.

"Helluva photo-op," you say, doubtful. Oh. Oh, that would be good, wouldn't it? Well, maybe not you climbing him like a racoon - he shivers. Creepy little hands - but... Belos can see it in his minds eye. A glimpse of your romance, the imposing Emperor gallantly lifting his Lady, all for something so simple and frivolous? Tender, sweet, just a little silly and sentimental. Yes. Yes, he likes that.

And he really needs something other than the catastrophic failure of the 'Scary-Go-Round' that he's been trying to ensure that you don't notice to dominate the evening news.

You're standing more-or-less directly under the balloon, and Belos comes around to stand in front of you, casting a quick spell to muffle the click of the shutters, so that you won't get distracted when the cameras start flashing. You look up at him, head tilted.

"Hold on," he says, dipping down to grab your waist.

"To wh-huh?!" Belos picks you up easily, quickly switching his hold from your waist to brace his forearms under your bottom, supporting your weight, and letting you get your balance with your hands on his shoulders. "I'm not cleared for this airspace!" you squeak.

"I've got you," he soothes.

"Oh, wow," you say, adjusting remarkably quickly. You use one hand to shade your eyes as you twist slightly against him, getting a good view of the fairground a little ways away. "You can see so many things up here! Damn." You look to him again, giving him a big, beautiful smile. "Hi!"

"Hello," he returns, his own soft grin clear in his voice.

"This is neat. I normally only ever see you like this when we're horizontal," you remark.

"Are you going to get your balloon?" he gently reminds you.

"Oh! Right, yeah-" You reach above, easily catching the string. He tips his head back, watching as you carefully tie one end into a loop, making a quick slip knot, and secure it to your wrist. Then, you return your hand to his shoulder. "Our powers combined!" you exclaim, oh-so-pleased. You get so excited over the littlest things. It's wildly endearing.

Belos carefully starts to lower you as you each watch the other. Your eyes dip down to where his mouth is covered by the mask, and he pauses your descent when your faces are level on instinct. With a quiet laugh, you lean forward to kiss him. His lips tingle where they go untouched, and there are gasps from the photographers that make it past his spell. There's a soft noise as you break the kiss, and into a self-conscious smile as he lets you get your feet.

"C'mon," you say, taking him by the hand, "we're late for the Coven Head Bean-Bag race. My money's on Lilith."

"I don't know, I've heard that Adrian's been practicing," he replies, allowing himself to be lead.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[hesawifebeaterdanusethegun]

Bruce Campbell

[larkinsboys]

oh man this game is about to get ugly

[skyward-floored]

Whumptober Day 31: Emptiness, (“I thought that I was getting better”)

Last one finally! ...a day late, but hey, at least I’m close, right..? This may be a bit rambly and headcanony, but it’s something. It’s done. I finished it.

Thank you everyone for supporting me this year! I appreciate you all more then words can say <3

Read on ao3

Warnings: pretty light, discussion of death and grief, mild mention of blood.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rusl was familiar to Wind.

Well, okay not exactly, he wasn’t one of those people that popped up no matter what era they were in or anything (like Beedle, seriously what was up with that?), but he was familiar in a different way.

One that made Wind’s chest feel weird whenever he looked at him.

The sailor swallowed, and looked down at his full plate of food, the others chattering loudly around him.

They’d finally ended up at Twilight’s home village, and the rancher was ecstatic, showing the Links all around Ordon, and introducing them to his family. It was late in the day when they’d arrived, and after showing them all around, Rusl and Uli had invited them all for dinner, insisting despite the large number of them.

They’d all piled in their house, the space a bit tight with eight extra people, but they managed, and set out a big meal for everyone.

It was chaos, everyone talking, passing food, holding Twilight’s baby sister, but despite everything going on, Wind found his gaze drawn continually towards Rusl, and Twilight and Colin as well. They were all sitting next to each other, and kept smiling, and laughing, and despite the delicious-smelling food in front of him, Wind had lost his appetite.

Twilight said something Wind didn’t catch over the din, but Rusl laughed at whatever it was he’d said, squeezing Twilight’s shoulder with a fond look on his face.

Wind felt the weird pit in his stomach suddenly grow, and he quietly slid off his seat, slipping out the door without barely a sound. Nobody seemed to notice him leave, and he stepped out into the night, closing the door and blocking most of the noise from inside. Cool air met him, and he breathed in deeply, shaking himself as he lingered on the doorstep.

The image of Rusl and Twilight together flashed suddenly in his mind, and Wind crossed his arms, kicking at a pebble on the ground.

Why was he feeling so weird about this? Twilight was finally home and able to visit his family, Wind should be feeling happy for him, right? He got to be with his whole village, and his little brother, and baby sister, and his parents...

Something stung in his chest again, and Wind swallowed.

Was that really what it was?

This... that was stupid, he wasn’t jealous of Twilight’s family! He had Grandma and Aryll! That was more than most of the other heroes had at all, some of them didn’t have any family, so why—

Why did seeing Rusl ruffle Twilight and Colin’s hair make a pit open in his stomach?

Happy laughter came from inside, and Wind felt the pit get deeper, something cold rising in his chest.

He suddenly couldn’t stand the idea of going back inside. Wind turned from the house and stalked away through the village, the moon shining too calmly for his mood. He circled the village a few times, then eventually found a secluded spot behind a house by the stream, throwing off his shoes and dunking his feet in.

The water was a little cold, chilly from the coming autumn, but Wind didn’t care, swishing his feet around.

A distant trill of music floated on the wind, and Wind hunched over himself as the tune changed to a different one in his head. He remembered his parents dancing to songs like that, and eavesdropping from his bed at night so he could hear them sing.

There was less music after Aryll was born, but it could still be found, and Wind still remembered his father quietly singing up at the lookout tower, Aryll asleep in his arms as Wind tried to fill in the missing harmony.

And even after that, Wind and Aryll still sang, to the seagulls outside, and with their grandmother when they helped her make soup. Sometimes Wind still sang Aryll to sleep when he was home, and they’d curl up together and he’d hum lullabies he’d learned on his travels.

“...Wind?”

Wind startled, and turned to see that Sky had walked up behind him without him noticing.

“We were wondering where you’d slipped off to, Uli was about to serve dessert,” he said warmly. Then his smile dimmed a little as he looked at Wind’s face, and he hesitated. “...is everything okay?”

Wind swallowed, then turned back to the water, not sure what to say.

Was everything fine? He’d thought it was, but the empty hole in his stomach spoke otherwise. He should probably tell Sky to just go back and eat dessert with everyone else, but for some reason those words didn’t come out.

“...Do you remember your parents?” Wind asked shakily, and Sky let out a quiet oh, moving to sit down next to him.

He looked out at the water for a moment, then took off his boots as well, dipping his toes in next to Wind’s.

“I do somewhat,” Sky replied, his voice soft. “My father and mother were both knights, though my father took it much more seriously. He was always patrolling, and practiced with the sword whenever he could, he helped train people to use it actually. My mother was more laidback like me, and mostly preferred just flying with her loftwing though. Apparently she was the best rider Skyloft had seen in a long time, she saved a lot of people.”

His smile dipped, and he breathed out.

“They both died when I was about seven.”

“I’m sorry,” Wind said quietly, and Sky gave him a small smile.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. I still miss them of course, but... in more of a good way, if that makes any sense.”

Wind crinkled his eyebrows, but he didn’t really have time to think that through, since Sky then gave him a searching look. Wind squirmed a little under the scrutiny, and looked back out at the water.

“Do you remember yours?” Sky asked softly, and Wind swallowed.

“Kind of,” he whispered, his mind falling back to one of his earliest memories. “My... mom died when Aryll was born. I don’t remember a lot about her, but I remember that night. There... there was a lot of blood.”

He paused and glanced at Sky, seeing that the Skyloftian was watching him with a gently sympathetic look on his face.

“My dad didn’t die until Aryll was three,” Wind continued, clearing his throat. “I remember more about him, he... he loved the ocean. Loved the waves and wind, and sailing. He went out on his boat a lot, but he’d never be gone too long, and he’d always throw me up in the air and catch me when he got back,” he finished with a smile, old laughs ringing in his ears.

Then they faded, and he felt his smile slip away.

“Sailing is hazardous, though. A storm blew up after he left to trade at Windfall once, and... nobody’s seen him since.”

Sky set his hand on his shoulder, and Wind swallowed again.

“I’m sorry Wind,” Sky said gently, and Wind gave him a small shrug.

“At least I have some memories of them. Aryll doesn’t remember Mom at all, and she barely remembers Dad. A-and at least I know who they were, I mean Wild doesn’t know anything about his family, and Four barely remembers his mother, and I don’t even know if Legend ever had parents and—”

“Sailor,” Sky interrupted carefully, and Wind looked at him, his throat tight. “...Where’s all of this coming from?”

“I...”

Wind clenched his fists, feeling that huge empty feeling in his stomach again.

“How come Twilight has a whole family?!” he burst out, feeling his lip tremble. “He’s got two whole siblings and parents that love him and are still alive and he gets to be around them and love them and I’m happy for him, I am but how come he’s the only one of us? Why doesn’t Time get to have parents? Or Warriors? Why did b-both of our parents have to die, it’s not fair Sky!”

Sky pulled an arm around Wind’s shoulder, and to his horror he realized he was crying, tears dripping into the water they were still dipping their feet in.

“I-it’s not fair,” he choked out, and Sky didn’t reply, gently rubbing his shoulder.

Wind let out a thick sniffle, mopping his sleeve over his face, and Sky held him a little tighter, a sigh escaping his lips.

“...I wish I had a good answer for you Wind,” he said finally, voice quiet. “Other then me just agreeing with you that you’re right, life isn’t fair. I... I don’t know why most of us lost our families. Maybe it’s due to us being heroes, maybe it’s just a big coincidence, I truly don’t know.”

Something deeply grieved flickered over Sky’s face, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.

“...I know it hurts, Sailor. It’ll probably hurt the rest of our lives,” Sky said as he closed his eyes, the moonlight somehow softening his features. “And we can’t bring our parents back, no matter how badly we’d like to. But... for me at least... I’ve had so many people in my life who’ve filled that role in their absence.”

Wind looked at him again, and Sky gave him a small, grieved smile.

“Zelda’s father, all the teachers at the knight academy... everyone on Skyloft, really. They’ve cared for me like my parents did, and while they’ll never replace them, they’re also my family. It’s a lot like that for Twilight too.”

“What do you mean?” Wind asked, and Sky looked at the water again.

“I guess you hadn’t joined us yet when we had that conversation... Rusl and Uli adopted Twilight, they’re not his birth parents,” Sky explained, and Wind’s eyes widened. “All of Ordon helped raise him, like Skyloft did for me, but he says he just ended up here one day. He has no idea what happened to his birth parents.”

“...Really?” Wind asked, and Sky nodded.

“Really.”

The weird hole in Wind’s stomach shifted again, and he felt even more miserable, staring down at his feet. For some reason the information only made him feel worse, and he felt Sky’s arm give him a little squeeze.

“Wind... you lost your parents a lot more recently then I did,” Sky said after a moment’s silence, and ran a gentle hand through Wind’s hair. “It’s okay to miss them.”

Wind swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat.

“I... I guess I thought I’d gotten over it,” Wind said thickly, voice shaking. “And then I saw R-Rusl and I just...”

A loud hiccup escaped him, and Sky gave him a squeeze.

“Even with Grandma, and Aryll, and L-Linebeck and Tetra and everyone I just... I miss them,” he finished in an embarrassing squeak. “And Rusl j-just... he looks like my dad.”

Sky didn’t say anything, just let him cry into his shoulder, and Wind shut his eyes and leaned against him a little more.

He didn’t know how long Sky sat with him, holding him while he cried, but it was long enough that his feet had started to feel numb in the water they were dipped in.

Wind shivered a little as his tears had finally slowed, the pit in his stomach feeling a little less empty as he wiped his face again. Then he looked up at Sky, the Skyloftian’s eyes looking a little red themselves.

“Are you okay?” he asked, and Sky let out a wet chuckle, wiping his own eyes.

“Yeah. I’m alright. You ready to head back?” he asked gently, and Wind hesitated a moment, then nodded, pulling his feet out of the water.

“Yeah, I... I think I’m... okay,” he said, and was a little surprised to find that he meant it. “Thanks Sky. Sorry for all the...”

Sky gave his shoulder a squeeze before he could continue.

“No problem, Sailor,” he smiled. “A good cry never hurt anyone. Now... let’s go see if somehow the others didn’t devour all the pie.”

Wind grinned. “Well if they did, I bet we can guilt Wild into making us more. I could sniffle and everything.”

Sky laughed, and Wind joined him as the two headed back across the village, the moon gently lighting their path.

[mincedpeaches]

ep11 of bang bravern had everything. beach episode. food porn. interrupted gay sex. goofy bad guy that goes down in one hit. rival fight for no reason except it looked really cool. robogore and angst.

the whiplash was incredible. I love this show.

[cerise-on-top]

Haiii! I love your work :D

Could you possibly do a gaz x reader? When him and reader are celebrating their anniversary:), that would be really cute :’))

Hello! Thank you, I hope this is enjoyable as well! I went with a more fluffy route this time, I just wanna see Gaz happy and healthy and as far aways from any and all danger as possible! This request was really cute, I love Gaz! I'm glad there are several of us who do! Though I think I went a bit overboard with this, but how could I not when people are requesting best boi!

Celebrating Your Anniversary with Gaz

For the sake of this request, we’re gonna go with the idea that Gaz was able to be with you during your anniversary and didn’t end up being somewhere in the world, having to fight tooth and nail for his survival. We’re gonna go the fluffy route with this!

His memory is really good, Gaz would never forget something as important as your anniversary. Doesn’t matter if you’re together, doesn’t matter if you’re married. He has it memorized, he wrote it down on his phone, he noted it on several loose papers lying around just about anywhere. Trust me when I say he’s the last person to ever forget something like this. Although he would appreciate it if you remembered as well, he’d probably love it even more if, just once, you forgot about your anniversary, that way he could properly surprise and absolutely spoil you rotten. He wants to make your anniversaries days you can remember, so he will tailor them to your liking. You like going to arcades or amusement parks? A bookshop date? You just wanna go to McDonald’s? It’s all yours, and don’t you dare even think about paying, your wallet will not be strained on such a holy and sublime day.

The day would start off simple. You’d sleep in, if you can, cuddling for as long as possible, until one of you needs to get up for whatever reason. He’ll nuzzle into you, holding you as close to him as possible. He wants you to feel his warmth, how alive you make him feel, he wants you to feel how his heart beats for you and only you. Gaz has a beautiful voice, it’s fairly low and very calming to listen to. He’d hum your favorite tune that’s a bit calmer. He wants you to be as relaxed for him as possible, maybe even fall asleep in his arms again, even if he definitely wouldn’t mind you staying up to chat a bit with him as well. He’s gonna be all over you, making sure to touch you wherever he can so you feel secure with him. And when you’re drifting off to sleep again, that’s when his plan begins.

Gaz will plant a kiss on your neck or your forehead, whatever he can reach as he excuses himself to the bathroom. However, this sly dog will actually head for the kitchen to make you some breakfast. He’s a good cook, so whatever it is you like, he’ll make it. French toast? Scrambled eggs? Eggs and bacon? Your wish is his command, even if you never uttered a single order. He just hopes you won’t wake up or, even if you do, will at the very least stay in bed. This breakfast isn’t for you to enjoy in the kitchen or the living room, you’re to eat it in your bed. He even got you a nice tray so he can carry it to you without making a mess. Orange juice and all. You will be spoiled.

It’s then that he’ll wake you with another soft kiss to your temple, maybe shaking you awake a bit, so you can enjoy your breakfast together. Might even feed you a bit, just to be embarrassingly cute while he’s at it. The more content you look, the better. Afterwards, he’ll leave for the kitchen again, putting the tray away and decorating the living room a bit. There will be the most gorgeous roses you’ve ever seen in a vase, alongside several other flowers, each of which tells of a different kind of adoration. And when you finally follow suit and spot the flowers, he’ll just smile and claim that they looked very pretty. If you understand flower language, then you can tell he just really wanted to say he loved you in as many different ways as he could.

It’s then that he’ll ask you to get ready for the day, to brush your teeth and hair, and put on some clothes. You don’t need to look particularly fancy, he wants you to be as comfortable as you could possibly be. This is when he’ll take you to a place you like which, as mentioned before, could be just about anything. Waterpark, roller skate rink or just a lovely walk in the park, he’s open for everything. You will be accommodated accordingly. Those places are where you’ll be spending the majority of your day, grabbing something simple to eat for the time being, such as some fries or maybe some toast at a good cafe or pub.

When day meets night, he’ll take your hand in his, taking you to a fancy restaurant you’ve been to a few times. Preferably one where the both of you can look down at the city and see all the beautiful lights it has to offer. You’ll spend another two hours or so there. At the very least, you’ll be there until it gets dark, eating good food, having a good drink, maybe some wine as well. It doesn’t matter what you choose, all Gaz wants is to see the twinkling city lights dance in your eyes afterwards. When the evening is starting to roll over into night, he’ll take you to a ferris wheel. A big one where you can see the entire city from.

He’ll watch you as you excitedly look everywhere, taking in as many sights as you can, hoping that the ferris wheel stops at just the right time. Ideally, that would be right at the top. But he won’t be too picky if it’s somewhat to the side as well. As long as he gets to see your mouth agape at all the pretty lights, he’s content. While the ferris wheel stops, he’ll shoot his shot. If you’ve been together for a few years but aren’t married yet, he’ll propose to you. If you’re already married, he’ll still get down on one knee, take your hand in his and kiss its back tenderly, like a knight in shining armor. It’s embarrassingly sweet, but he knows no one but you is going to see it, so he does it anyway. You’re royalty in his eyes, you’re his to protect and care for, and he needs to show his loyalty however he can. Once he’s done kissing your hand, he’ll get up, holding your hand still and pulling you up with him, just so he can hold you close once again. Another tender kiss to your lips, and then he’ll get out a small box. Either the proposal ring or, if you’re married already, he’ll gift you a lovely little necklace made of pure silver. Something you can wear that will always remind you of him.

Once you’re down on the ground again, he’ll take your hand in his and lead you home, conversing with you about how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you in his life and how he hopes he gets to spend many, many more years like that with you.

If it’s not too late yet, you might watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. But you’ll likely both be tuckered out after today and just snuggle up in bed, ready for the next day.

And this is how Gaz’ ideal anniversary would go.

[nyehilismwriting]

launching this into the ether and sprinting away. nsfw patreon blah blah (blink-and-you'll-miss-it cw for alcohol here)

“Three.”

You shake your head.

“I don’t believe you.”

Imxa’s tail twitches, her eyes gleaming. She leans forward, folding her claws underneath her torso.

“Would I lie to you?”

“Would, have, probably will again.” You raise an eyebrow, grin when she laughs, low and smoky. “D’you think I’m an idiot? Don’t answer that.”

Imxa chuckles again, the sound low and rough, coils round your spine and low in your stomach. “Alright,” she concedes after a moment. “You’re not wrong, in the macro. In this case, though, I’m telling the truth.”

“Seriously.” You fold your arms on the table, lean forwards. Hold her eyes as you take a sip of your drink. Smoky and sharp, it burns on the way down, has you suppressing a shiver. It clings to your lips, icy in the too-warm space of the bar, and you take your time chasing it from your lips. Imxa watches your mouth, shameless and hungry. “Three?”

“Three.”

There’s a touch more gravel in her voice, now. You lean in a little further, tilt your head coyly.

“That’s it?”

The challenge gets her - just like you knew it would, her tail twitching with interest, eyes flashing as her mouth opens slightly. A vulpine smile, revealing the livid inside of her mouth, a flash of sharp teeth as she hums, deep and thoughtful.

“You can do better, can you?”

“Five.”

“We agreed no explosives.”

“There weren’t.” You tip your head, show her your throat with all the self preservation instincts of a lamb cuddling up to a wolf. “I shot the driver out of a flying chopper.” And then, because you can’t help but brag a little: “From the back of a motorbike.”

Imxa - suddenly very close to you, close enough that you can feel her breath stirring your hair - snorts. Shakes her head. “That doesn’t count.”

“Of course it counts.”

You go to pull back in affront - mostly joking - but Imxa catches your jaw in one hand, holds you in place. Her claws prickle against your cheek, your eyelids lowering as she tilts her head, eyeing you.

“It definitely doesn’t count.” Her eyes glint. “Didn’t take you for a cheater.”

“I am not cheating.” Your protest loses some of its strength as you wrap your own hand around her arm. Not pulling away, just… holding on. You know she can feel your pulse hammering in your throat, the drinks on the table between you all but forgotten. “Why would I?”

Another challenge, another vicious grin in response. “Because you want to impress me.”

You tighten your grip on her arm, twist your head to brush your lips against her palm, never breaking eye contact.

“Please. I already have.”

[persianflaw]

i generally try to either ignore or privately rubberneck at fandom drama stuff, which is why i'm not reblogging the other posts about this and just making my own, but:

POTTER?? the character who is the absolute most consistently, unambiguously, unapologetically racist towards klinger, the most prominent character of color, aside from charles??? the career military character who leads most of the bad pro-military storylines from the latter half of the series, who deliberately joined the same war that the anti-war characters were drafted into?? HE'S the one you've decided did nothing wrong??? 😭 like this is actually such a wild take that i feel like this person has to be a troll

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[dear-mrs-otome]

Ibuki PV highlights...all I have to say is teef

[cwarscars]

Heidegger had been on his back a lot lately. Gentle suggestions had turned into more forceful ones, almost resembling orders. Do this, do that, you need to focus, you're not taking this seriously - it was pissing him off.

"You forget your place, Heidegger. You don't get to order me around."

what had he said, or rather - done - but keep the boy in line? the king's advisor had been naught but a benevolence to noctis. a guiding light in a kingdom, dark. without heidegger; where would noctis be now? still riding on the coattails of his old man, the counsellor would imagine. so to have him snap - to hear his words loud and feel them sharp, it has heidegger’s brows knitted, a heavy breath inhaled. 

he holds it for a second - watches the crown prince with eyes, ablaze.

“oh?” heidegger closes the gap between them, takes a few steps forth so’s it isn’t only his shadow looming over noctis. as if he’s a beast, he snarls down at the man - leans forward when his words (though a whisper) slip through gritted teeth. “and what would you do without me, hm?” 

he doesn’t wait for an answer; rage budding between steps. Every inch of distance breached - a chance for his anger to boil. by the time he’s so close to noctis, his nostrils are flared and his heart hammering. how dare he- 

how fucking dare he - !

his bicep would twinge, muscles tensing as an arm reaches forth, five fingers curled around the prince’s neck. throat clenched, a push and a shove to nudge noctis into the wall behind him. get any closer and he’d have the other in total submission. 

“i don’t think you understand, my prince-” he snarls - noctis’ title, a mockery “you can’t and you wont deny me.” 

keeping ahold of the prince’s neck - heidegger pulls him in closer; encourages the heat that swells between them. hungry eyes bare down unto noctis’, lips wet as he speaks, fangs sharp. 

“if one of us is forgetting their place -” he holds him close. so close he can feel the drum of the younger man’s heart, feel the ache of tension between them. “it’s you...now-” he hums, lips twisting into a smirk “need i teach you a lesson?”

[whoregaylorenzo]

sometimes I'm like maybe I do lean towards men a bit...and then a pretty girl pays attention to me and I'm incapable of thinking about anything else for 10-14 business days

[drunkonschadenfreude]

reached an extremely funny part of tumblr

[backwardblackbyrd]

:')

[soulsam]

What's a ship you've wanted to talk about headcanons for, but you've never really had an excuse to? Well, here's your chance!

ANON. I LOVE YOU. IT IS NOW HISOLEO/LEOLUMI TIME.

also this isn't really gonna be headcanons so much as it is gonna be an entire shipping manifesto so strap in

okay so anyone who knows me or has seen enough of my blog is well aware that I LOVE hisoillu. like I'm obsessed with them. HOWEVER. within the canon of hxh, I think that hisoka and illumi actively make each other worse.

the one time we see a glimmer of humanity in hisoka, it's in the dodgeball game on greed island, when he brings home the win just for gon. hisoka finds gon's sportsmanship admirable and intriguing, so he indulges it.

the things that he finds interesting about illumi, however, are not the type of qualities a well-adjusted and functional person has, his obsession with killua & his bloodlust being two obvious examples. in election arc we see hisoka consider killing killua to get illumi riled up, because that's what hisoka wants to see from him. but hisoka never attempts to "corrupt" gon in any way. in fact, what hisoka seems to like most about him (besides his potential) is his optimism and his friendliness. all his generally positive traits which should theoretically make him weak in such a cutthroat world, but instead become strengths that make gon memorable and uniquely powerful. gon's almost naive humanity inspires hisoka to be better (perhaps for selfish reasons but the outcome is essentially the same)

on the other hand, because illumi acts with basically zero humanity, when hisoka matches his energy, he either stays the same or is even worse than usual (again, he considered killing killua just to see illumi get angry). so basically hisoka & illumi are constantly feeding off of each other's bloodlust and depravity, sucking each other deeper and deeper down the more entwined they become.

which is fine, like it's extremely interesting to me and obviously I love them (not in spite of that, but frankly because of it). however, they are very much the epitome of "I can make him worse."

you know who I think could fix hisoka or illumi though?

mr. leorio paladiknight.

leorio has a "fixer" personality. he's gonna be a doctor, for god's sake, and we've seen how he tries to take care of kurapika in his own way. he's hot-headed, recklessly brave when it comes to protecting those he cares about. I think if he saw something human in hisoka or illumi, he'd want to fix them.

we already know he's not really afraid of hisoka. certainly not afraid enough to avoid picking a fight with him while being well aware that he could get fucking murdered. I don't think he'd be afraid of illumi either. disturbed? maybe. enraged? yeah, we already know he is. we've seen him try to tell illumi off for the way he treats killua. but leorio knows how fucked up the zoldyck family is. I think if something happened that flipped his idea of illumi from "another dangerous and unreasonable person who's out to get killua" to "a deeply traumatized young man who's been manipulated constantly since the day he was born," he might start to feel sympathy for illumi.

I personally cannot believe that there's nothing human left in illumi. as twisted and warped as his idea of "love" is, and as cruel as he can be, I think he honestly, truly does love killua. and there has to be some way to take that one tiny, miniscule chink in his armor and use it to crack him open. I think if anyone has the power and the courage to do it, it's leorio.

as for hisoka, I think leorio has a lot in common with gon personality-wise. both stubborn and a little reckless, both sometimes act without thinking and will sacrifice themselves for their friends without even stopping to consider other options lol.

we know leorio passed hisoka's "test," whatever the hell that was about. although hisoka is fixated on gon, I think now that leorio has learned nen, he'll be very interesting to hisoka, even more than he already is. and like I said above, hisoka seems to match the energy of whoever he's currently allied with. while leorio is a little, uh...well, you know, he has a huge heart and he cares deeply about others. I think he could inspire hisoka to act more like he did during the dodgeball match; he was cooperative, helpful even, he took it seriously, and he let himself be injured for the sake of gon's wishes. not even to prevent someone else from being put in harm's way. he did it because it would give them the win that gon wanted. if there is anybody who can bring out that side of him again, it's leorio.