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oliveisme533 · 7 months

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My dad’s neighbor is a dilf

Chapter 4

Joel Miller x You

Summery: You had decided to spend your summer in Austin with your dad. You used to spend almost every summer there, but hadn't spent a summer there since you were a teenager. Which means you hadn't seen a certain Joel Miller in years..

Warnings: abusive ex is back. Verbal abuse and physical violence (not against reader)

You roll over in your bed with a groan and stretch your arms. Grabbing your phone you check the time 10:03. Early for you. You decide to hop in the shower before your dad can ask you to help pick up fallen branches in the yard from last nights storm. You let the scolding water hit your body and you draw in a deep breath. Tomorrow was Monday which meant your dad would be back to work and you wouldn't have anyone to talk to or hang out with until 5 o'clock. Rinsing the soap from your face you contemplated just what to do with tomorrow, in fact you were beginning to wonder how to make use of your summer in general. The last couple weeks of doing nothing had been a much needed reprieve from your busy life, but you were starting to get a little stir crazy. You turned off the water, still deep in thought when you heard your phone buzzing. You tiptoed over to your bedside table and saw Joel's name lighting up the screen. "Why is he calling me?" You pick up the phone ...

Hello Hey sweetheart didn't wake ya did I? No no I've been up...for a few minutes (Joel chuckled) Well hey listen, one of my coworkers was looking for a sitter for tonight. He and the Misses are going out and their regular girl can't make it. Any interest in an easy job for the night? Oh yeah I can definitely do that. God know I've got nothing else going on. Okay I'll send you the info! Thanks darlin'

Obviously he wasn't calling just because he wanted to chat with you. It was a stupid thing to even hope for. The rest of the day went by relatively slowly, but when 6 o'clock rolled around you put some snacks in your back pack, a phone charger, and a book you had been trying to finish for several weeks now. The babysitting was easy. It was one kid, she was four years old and for the most part did whatever you asked. The parents told you they would be out late so when 11:45 rolled around you weren't surprised they hadn't come home yet. The house was quiet...too quiet. You never much liked this part of being a baby sitter. It was different when you did it for Sarah. The millers house was always warm and full of life. Those nights when Joel did get home a little later you felt safe curling up in on his couch with the TV on. Most of the times you would fall asleep like that and Joel would drive you home the next day after making you and Sarah breakfast. You smile at the memory. The sounds of the house settling are enough to snap you from this daydream down memory lane. "Fuck I really don't like this huge, quiet house. What if I call someone to keep me company. Dad will be asleep, so would mom and my sister. I bet Joel Miller is awake..." you stare at your phone and contemplate this next move. "Fuck it" you mutter and tape his name. The phone only rings a couple of times before you hear Joel's husky voice. A twinge of guilt shoots through you as you fear you've woken him up.

Hello? Everything okay? Hey, yeah I'm so sorry did I wake you? I was just restin' my eyes that's all. I ain't in bed yet. Well I just- I really don't like being in these houses all by myself. It sounds stupid but it's kinda scary I guess. 'S not stupid. You want someone to talk to-keep ya company? Yeah... and I figured you'd be awake still, but I guess I figured wrong You're all right honey, I really don't mind. I needed to get off this couch and sleep in my bed any how. But how 'bout you tell me about your day? My day was pretty boring honestly. I played with the cat, ate some ice cream and watched TV Wat'd ya watch? Love island What in the hell is that?

You laughed and proceeded to tell him all about the show. A little while passed and then you heard the lock click and knew the parents were home. You told Joel you had to go to which he responded "alright let me know when you get home safe. Can call me if you want." Back home you pondered whether or not you should call Joel. It was late and you were feeling tired, but you wanted to talk to him. After slipping into your pajamas you felt like you could hardly stay awake much longer, but you were determined to take advantage of this invitation from Joel to call him. So you tapped his name and watched the phone ring. You put it to your ear and your heart sank with each unanswered ring. When it went to voicemail you resolved that he had likely fallen asleep and you decided to do the same.

The next day you woke up early (ish) at 9:00. Your dad had already left for work. You roll over in your bed to check your phone and your heart pounds.

Missed call from Joel Miller 36m ago

You're hoping he's not at work yet and call him back quickly. "Hey sweetheart" he picks up within a few rings. "Sorry I missed your call last night. I ended up falling asleep and didn't hear the phone." It was so nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning. "Oh you don't need to apologize. I didn't really need anything, I just like talking to you" you could almost hear Joel grin as he said "well I like talkin' to you too sugar" you had walked down to your kitchen to put on a pot of coffee at this point when you say "hey why aren't you at work?" "Waitin for some parts to come in for this current job. Until they do there's nothin else I can really do. But the parts are supposed to be here by noon... so I'll get my ass to work in a couple hours" you notice a note taped to the fridge as Joel finishes saying all this. "I completely forget" you mutter to yourself, but apparently Joel hears. "What'd you forget?" "My dad left me a note reminding me that he's gone on a business trip and won't be back until Thursday." "Oh that's right. Your dad did mention that. Told me to keep an eye out for ya." "Did he really? "Yeah I mean you're going to be by yourself in that big house for almost 3 days" "I'm a grown ass woman though!" Joel chuckled. "No ones sayin you ain't, darlin. Dads worry and that don't change from when you're 5 or when you're 25" "I guess that's fair enough" you shrug. "I should get my day started here... might go on a run and catch up on laundry" "Well if you need anything the next couple of days just hollar" You hang up the phone with brief goodbyes and run your fingers through your tangled bed head. You groan as you massage your temple. "What the fuck am I doing?? I'm catching feelings for Joel fucking Miller. What's worse is that I'm flirting with him too"

Against your better judgement you decide to text Joel later in the day Hey what time you get off tonight? I should be wrapping up by 7...Why? You want to swing by for dinner? Nothing fancy. I'm just bored and I don't love being here alone in the evenings for long periods of time lol. Well I ain't gonna turn you down for some dinner. I'll see you at 7:30. Can I pick anything up at the store for ya on my way there? Well if you're offering... maybe some ice cream? And a bottle of rosè You got it

The rest of the day went by slowly. 7:30 couldn't get here fast enough. You were hoping for something to happen tonight with Joel, but you weren't sure what that would be. You hadn't decided if the lingering glances from him were just something you were imagining or actually happening. Around 6:30 you decide to hope in the shower and of course shave...because you never know right? After your shower you settle on wearing a simple, linen dress that's super comfortable and not all that fancy. At exactly 7:30 you hear the doorbell ring. You jump off the sofa to answer it, your heart in your throat. But when you open the door, you're afraid you might be sick. It's not Joel Miller who stands there, but your toxic ex boyfriend ...Ben.

"What the fuck are you doing? You need to leave" Ben smirks. "Aren't you a delight. I just wanted to talk to you, and since you've block my number I had to take matters into my hands." Your heart was racing. Ben had never shown any physical violence against you, but you didn't know what he was capable and you didn't want to find out. "I thought I made myself really fucking clear that we are over" you said with a shaky voice. "Baby I just don't think you get to make that call. I mean I've done so much to make this relationship work. You can't just throw all that away. You know you're never going to find another guy who puts up with your shit." That was it. Something in you snapped. Something that had been brewing for literally years was about to come out. "No fuck you!" You shoved him in the chest with both palms and he stumbled back just a step, caught off guard by your motion. "Screw you! I don't need a guy to put up with anything about me, you asshole. You act like you're some fucking hero for tolerating the fact that I struggle with my mental health and stuff!" Ben was fuming now. You had never laid hands on him and you could tell the shove had lit something inside him too. "You have issues you know that?! You have fucking issues in your head!" He screamed at you getting up in your face and grabbing your arms tightly, pinning them to your sides. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joel's truck coming down the street and pulling into your drive way. Ben was now shaking you and yelling "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH.." he didn't get to finish his sentence because a firm hand grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him backwards.

If looks could kill...you had never seen such an expression on Joel. He looked like he could tear Ben to pieces right then and there, yet he maintained a calm composure. "I suggest you get the fuck off this porch and don't come back, son" Joel said in a low voice. Ben scoffed. "Get out of here, old man. This ain't your business" Ben spat. "Son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Ben let his head fall back and let out a chuckle that sent a chill down your spine. "Is that so?" Without warning Ben threw a punch and Joel and narrowly missed "Ben!" You shrieked. Ben straightened up sent another punch. Joel grabbed his wrist, mid punch and yanked him in close. Joel towered over him. "Do not make me repeat myself again. I said get the fuck off this porch, or things will get ugly." At this Joel shoved Ben forcefully away, causing him to stumble backwards. Ben still looked angry, but now there was a hint of fear in his eyes too. He gave you one last glare and then jogged back to his car.

As soon as Ben's car sped off. Joel sun around. "Are you okay??" He asked, grabbing your face in his hands. "Um yeah" you managed to squeak. "I mean that fucking scared me tho." Joel looked like he might be sick. "I am so sorry wasn't here at 7:30. If I got here on time- " "Joel come on you don't need to do that. It's not like either of us had any idea Ben would show up here. I'm glad you came when you did though." Joel massaged the bridge of his nose. He looked stressed and was probably imaging what would have happened if he didn't show up at all. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to rid himself of the notion. "Joel look at me I'm fine!" You said pulling his hand away from his face. Joel took your hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. "Okay" he said softly. "Did you get my ice cream?" You said trying to change the subject. A smile tugged at his mouth. "Yeah I did, baby"

You had made spaghetti for dinner, about one of the only dishes you were confident in preparing. You and Joel sat at the table in silence and you watched as he pushed his food around. "I'm sorry I'm not a chef...if you want we could just order a pizza?" You suggested. Joel looked up at you seemingly caught off guard. "No no no it's not that! The meal is delicious. I guess I just don't have an appetite. That's all." You pushed back from the table and the chair scraping against the hardwood made Joel jump slightly. "Baby I didn't mean to offend you it's just" you laughed as you reached for the shelf above the stove "Joel I'm not mad I'm just looking for something." Joel slowly walked towards where you were balancing on a stool trying to get the top door of the cabinet open. "Um...what's that?" You grunted as you finally got hold of what it was you were looking for. "My dad's red wine. It's gross too me, but he always says red wine gives you an appetite." You hopped off the stool and thrust the bottle into his chest. "Where's the wine you got me? I would like to get into that like asap." Before waiting for a response you went into the other room where the grocery bag still sat with the ice cream and wine and dug out the bottle. You hastily removed the top and began drinking. "Y/n...slow down what are you doing?" You removed the bottle from your lips and wiped your mouth. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Joel's face was laced with concern. "Okay that's enough. I'm calling your dad, you can stay at mine until he gets home. I'm sure he'll book the first flight back when he hears.." you didn't let Joel finish. He had tried to grab the bottle from your hands "no, fuck off I'm a grown woman. I don't need you calling me dad to tell on me or whatever." Joel placed both hands in his hair and squeezed his head "sweetheart you're clearly not okay! And for good reason... will you just let me help you? I'm worried about you. This shit wasn't in any of the parenting books I read before Sarah.." "you're not my dad!" "No no I'm not saying that I just" ... "is that all this is? You want to fill the void of not having your daughter at home this summer. So you come over here to parent me because my dad's not here? I don't fucking need that Joel I don't want you to see me that way."

...to be continued

#joel miller #joel tlou #fanfic #joel and ellie #smut #girl dad #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut

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winchestersdrive · 5 months

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Story of Us// Tomark

I’ve decided to create a Tomark story since the world needs more Tomark‼️ this story will take place from 1992-currently. I hope you guys enjoy!

TW// Light cussing!, mention of broken bones.

June 1st, 1992 at 5;40pm in Poway, California.

16 almost 17 year old Tom Delonge sat in his room, listening to his records. School was out and he had nothing better to do at the moment. He might ride his skateboard around for a while before the weather turns shitty. His older brother, Shon, was currently at his girlfriend's house. Kari was having a sleepover at her friend's house, and their parents were out of town for the week. So Tom basically had the whole house to himself for now. He liked it when no one else was home. He enjoyed the peaceful feeling.

He could hangout with Scott. Scott was a few years younger than Tom, but he was pretty chill. They went to school together while Tom was still in middle school. Scott was going to be a freshman this coming year and Tom was going to be a junior. Tom's sister, Kari, would be in Scott's classes with him. They sometimes hangout whenever Scott is at the Delonge household. Scott only lived a few blocks down from Tom so it wouldn't be much of a walk. He soon got up, turning his record player off. Tom soon threw on his Descendents shirt along with his jeans and his converse. Grabbing his skateboard, he made his way down the steps and out the front door. Once he was outside, he hoped on his board, making his way to Scott's house. The sky was cloudy, but luckily it wasn't raining yet. He didn't mind the rain, he actually loved it. But, when he's trying to skate. Him and rain aren't the best of friends.

Once he made it to Scott's house, he noticed a few of their other friends were there. Including an unfamiliar car that he's never seen before. Weird. He thought to himself. Tom made his way into the house, seeing a few of his friends. He also saw Anne Hoppus. He knew her only because one of his friends was dating her. She lived in Ridgecrest, which was a 3-4 and a half hour drive. He was impressed that she made her way from there all the way to Poway for a little get together.

Anne soon noticed Tom and smiled a bit. She made her way over to the other. "Hi, Tom! I have someone for you to meet." She said. Before he knew it, she was dragging him outside to where a few people were. She took him over to a boy that looked very similar to her. "Mark, meet Tom. This is the boy I was telling you about. Tom, this is my older brother, Mark." She introduced the two. The boys looked at each other in awe for a moment before Mark spoke. "Nice to meet you, Tom. I heard you play guitar. That's pretty cool." He said with a soft smile. His eyes are so pretty. Tom thought to himself. He nodded and smiled a bit. "Yeah! I do. I've been playing for a few years now." Mark smiled a bit more. "That's cool, I play bass. We should totally jam out sometime." He said as he examined the taller male. Mark seemed to like this kid already. "Hell yeah, man!" Tom said.

Anne smiled as she watched their interaction. "Great! Now Mark has someone new to annoy for the next few days. I'll leave you two to chat. I'm heading back inside." She said before soon walking off.

Mark watched his sister for a moment before looking back at Tom. "So..uhm, what's your favorite things to do?" He asked, getting his packet of cigarettes out. He offered one to the other. Tom accepted it, wanting to seem cool to the other male. He really didn't know how to smoke, but maybe he could fake it. "I like to listen to music, ride my skateboard, sometimes draw, watch horror movies, and also learn anything and everything about aliens and other cryptic creatures." Tom was such a nerd when it came to aliens.

Oh my god, this kid is a nerd! But, I like him. Mark thought to himself as he listened to Tom speak. He giggled a bit at the mention of Aliens. "Aliens? Really? Well whatever floats your boat I guess. Don't worry, I think that's pretty cool. I've never really met someone who believes in that stuff. Well..minus the crackheads at the gas station." He laughed.

Tom laughed a bit before he smiled at him. "What about you then?" He asked as he watched Mark light his cigarette. The lighter was passed to him once Mark was finished. He took a drag from his cigarette before he spoke. "Well, I like playing bass, also skateboarding, listening to music, goofing off at college, annnnd..watching movies."

College? How old is he? Tom asked himself before lighting the cigarette. He soon handed Mark's lighter back to him as he took a hit from the cigarette. He attempted to inhale, but failed which caused him to start to cough. He cleared his throat before letting out a sigh. "You said you like goofing off in college..how old are you? Not to sound rude or anything. I'm just curious." He said.

"I'm 20, about to be 21 in March next year. What about you? You're not 14 are you? Cause if you were then you're pretty tall for a fourteen year old." He joked with him. The other shook his head softly, giggling a little. "No no, I'm 16 about to be 17 in December. Dude, try seeing my family. I'm literally the tallest one! I don't get it." He laughed.

Mark laughed as well before taking another hit. He was really starting to like Tom. Maybe they would become great friends. Maybe he could pull off that party trick of his. "You know what? This party or whatever is kinda lame. Do you know a place we could go?" He asked.

"I mean..we could go to my place? We can listen to music and chill. My parents and siblings aren't home so we basically have the house all to ourselves." He offered, hoping that Mark would want to hangout with him. Mark smiled and nodded. "Sure! Why the hell not. I'll just have to tell Anne I'm going with you for awhile."

Once the boys went inside, Mark told Anne where'd he would be in case she needed to get a hold of him. He didn't fully trust her being with her boyfriend, but he knew he couldn't be protective over her for forever. When him and Tom made their way outside, Tom got on his skateboard, looking over at the older boy and smiling at him. "Hop on, I don't want you to try and keep up with me." Mark smiled a bit as he accepted the younger boys offer. He held onto the taller males shoulder as he stepped onto the board. Once he was adjusted, he placed both hands on either side of Tom's waist. This caused Tom to blush a bit. He did have to admit, Mark was pretty cute. The two soon took off. They both smiled a bit as they enjoyed the ride. After a while, the boys eventually made it to the Delonge's house.

Once they got off the skateboard, Mark looked at Tom with a mischievous look on his face. "Wanna see a party trick of mine?" He asked. Tom nodded and smiled a bit. "Sure, what is it?" He soon watched as Mark began to climb up his light post. He laughed as he watched him. What the fuck is he doing? He can't be serious.

He thought to himself as he watched. Meanwhile Mark was trying to impress Tom with whatever at this point. So why not climb a fucking lamp post? What's the worst that can happen? I'm sure this will impress him. Mark thought to himself. Once he made it to the top. He looked down at Tom with a big smile. "Look, Tom! I bet you can't do that!" He laughed a little. "Now watch this!" He said, soon jumping off the pole. When he landed, he let out a painful scream. "FUCK!"

Tom watched in shock as he witnessed it. He rushed over to Mark, "What happened?!" He asked, worried. Mark groaned in pain as he sat on the ground. "I-I think I broke my heels. They fucking hurt dude." He said as he looked up at him.

What. The. Fuck. Tom thought to himself.

#tomark #tom delonge #mark hoppus #blink 182 #fanfic #travis barker #90s #2000s #budha #chesire cat #dude ranch #take off your pants and jacket #all the small things #i miss you #always.

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kasugas · 1 year

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omg hi @mgs3dickeater tagged me in this top 3 albums I've listened to lately weeeeee

I had to limit this to a single everything everything album because it could've so easily been all everything everything. Buying tickets to see them in Boston has really sparked me listening to them more often again, although I never truly stop listening to them. I'll ramble a little more ABT each album under the cut but as for tagging others, hello and I'm sorry mewchies do this at your own whim. @dogboytits @neververy4 @gribffin @gotenerd

1. Everything Everything's "A Fever Dream" album. First of all I need to say what a pain it is to find good art of this particular album. This is my personal favourite album art of theirs, despite Get to Heaven's iconic look. I just listened to this all the way through last night and I was talking to a friend about how well this album encapsulates the whole vibe post-2016. I laugh that the lead singer says he doesn't consider ee a political band when this album and every single one before it exists. This album is apparently inspired by dance music which I guess explains it's many high energy songs among the tracklist. Personal favourite song on this album has to be "Put me together" the meaning of the song. Augh. I do understand this band isn't for everyone but if you can read the lyrics like a hymnbook alongside the songs playing then you really start to understand the smart lyricism and meaning that makes these songs so significant in my mind.

2. Kiltro's "Creatures of Habit". Songs from this album were my top played in 2022 and for good reason. I don't think I've ever heard something exactly like this band. Their songs really have this forlorn lonely feeling to them but the beat carries you through it. I finally got to order this on vinyl and I'm excitedly waiting for it to arrive now. Favourite song on this album is very hard to choose but I think it goes to "Mi Capitán". As a whistler I can't resist songs that have such a whistleable tune in them.

3. Steely Dan's "Can't Buy a Thrill" album. I understand what Araki was on about naming 5000 things from jojo after Steely Dan. They make such easy listening music it's really been something I listen to a lot while driving since a lot of their songs are long. Favourite song on this album has to be "Only a Fool Would Say That" as I love songs with trivia attached to them and recently I learnt that supposedly this song is a diss track to John Lennon. Based.

#ask game #:) thank you for tagging me friend i had just woke up in a cold sweat and this was a lovely distraction

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muckmagister · 11 months

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6 11 25

do you use a watch?

not until very recently! just over a week ago i bought a heath tracker under the instruction of my cardiologist who wanted me to have something i could use to check my heart rate easily and often just in case, y'know? and well naturally this fancy gizmo also tells the time ^^ so i guess i wear a watch now even if it's primary purpose is to tell me my heart rate and how well i've slept lmao

anything from your childhood you've held onto?

a big fart. sorry, i'm- it's- i've answered this question in two previous asks if you wanna look ffjdjsjs😭 no but if i hadn't gone to bed already i would go take photos of my cool rock collection that i've had for ages and if i remember in the morning i'll reblog this and add them on 👍

would you say you have good taste in music?

i like the music i listen to it's nice :)

honestly everyone else seems to know what they're doing when they listen to music but istg i started like 10 years late. like as in. for almost half my life i just didn't listen to music at all. i mean obviously i heard music but i don't remember ever having any real opinions on the stuff i heard or any desire to go out of my way to listen to anything, at least not until way later than all of my peers seemed to.

yeah it's the autism i know, but i still don't think i've met someone who's had the same experience with music that i've had, or keep having.

ok i'm rambling now but honestly i don't often listen to music in general. it's a very present thing to me, like i can't listen to something if i can't sing along to the lyrics and jive with it y'know? which means at lot of the time i'm more comfortable in silence.

like, music is something i put on to Listen to and not to just like have in the background. idk sometimes when my brothers cooking breakfast he puts some music on, and it's nice and i enjoy it too but that's just something i'd never think to do if i were in the same position. and like a friend of mine loves to drive around and listen to music and i could never do that, like the music would just be distracting me from driving, it'd be downright unsafe lmao. when i listen to stuff at my computer i actually tend to just end up on an open tab with the lyrics there to just sing along even if i already know the song.

one of the only situations i can think of where i choose to listen to music and do something else at the same time is when i'm playing a specific type of videogame, where the music helps me get into that sort of flow state. and i think that's just cause it helps relax/distract the parts of my brain that aren't engaged with the videogame in a way that actually helps me stay focused on the game. like if i'm playing tetris a part of me is gonna get bored and look for something else to do, but if i listen to music and distract that part of me with a song to sing along to, then the tetris playing bits can focus even deeper on playing tetris. media symbiosis. i no idea. ok now i'm stopping myself here and putting all this shit behind a read more fjdhjskskks😭 oH but here's my tetris highscore btw #humblebrag

also you can just. play tetris, btw. for free. it's just on tetris.com like that's literally the link too and it's all there it's great. i was double checking it just now and it even works on mobile browsers it's fantastic. i love tetris

#askmuck #ask game

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berryunho · 11 months

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This is gonna be a very random message and it's another unnecessarily long ass ask, I'm so sorry for always sending those :,) feel free to ignore it! It's just me rambling about your fic (as usual) because I was listening to a song and it actually fits The Answer so well in my mind, I have been stuck with this in my thoughts for 5 hours now and wanted to share just because.

I don't know if you've ever heard of the band "I don't know how but they found me", but they recently released a single called "What Love?". It ties some cult/religious imagery to a toxic/crumbling relationship (so i guess it's not too surprising that I ended up connecting some parts of it to The Answer lmao).

To start off, the crumbling relationship lyrics reminds me of Mingi and mc. The singer expresses that the relationship between him and the other person is falling apart, yet the other person keeps coming back to him even with this rift between them growing, and he himself can't help but welcome them back, almost as if it's something inevitable that he can't fight, literally singing "I can't fight this feeling". With that, the relationship becomes or continues to be unhealthy, and so he asks "What love could get this vicious?", later on the lyrics saying "I think you've got a hold on me, so don't let me go and I'll never set you free".

I know that, before the cult, Mingi and mc's relationship wasn't toxic, but their inability to communicate their actual feelings seems to have led them into this limbo, where they couldn't stay apart yet couldn't be together, at least not in the way they really wanted to. That unsatisfied connection being what drives both of them to the cult: Mingi leaves because of the hold that his feelings for her have over him, and mc caring for him so much as to being unable of letting him go, not setting him free to make his own choice (as bad of a choice as it is) and chasing after him despite all the red flags. Like the singer getting back to his partner, mc getting to the cult, and by proxy Mingi, also seems like an inevitability (if HJ had any say in it anyways).

The lyrics go on to say "you only come around when I've got somebody new" which reminds me of HJ and SH taunting mc about how Mingi joined the cult because of her, and how he was perfectly fine with them while away from her. That is followed by "you only sacrifice the things I never ask you to" which, in turn, matches mc's side of the story, she never wanted him to get into such a dangerous situation just to be away from her, she never asked for the mess that their relationship and feelings have led them to. The last phrase on the verse before the chorus is "I guess I met you at the wrong time" which explains itself :,D

Then there's this entire verse that goes:

"I promised you things I didn't mean, pushed you to the edge of insanity.

I shook all the wrong hands, at all the right times.

Who did you expect me to be?"

AND IT MATCHES THE ANSWER!MINGI SO MUCH PLEASE ! HEAR ME OUT

The fact that mc came to the cult looking for him, now she is suffering in HJ's hands and we all know how that's gonna go for her sanity, AND to top it all off: Mingi blames himself for that. Then the thing about shaking hands with the wrong people at the right time? Literally shaking hands with the cult leader during their first meeting amidst an emotionally vulnerable time lol. The "who did you expect me to be?" really ties it all together for me, I picture those moments when mc is shocked about how her sweet best friend became just another follower tangled in the cult's web, became someone who won't hesitate to do as he is told even if it means hurting someone else or even her (aka letting her get stabbed for a ceremony), plus his angry outbursts. Its like "did you expect me to be the same person you knew before my time in a cult?"

I think the rest of the song matches more the general situation the mc is in, for example another verse that says "is this the night where we go too far? Where we get untethered and we learn our lesson", it makes me think of her on-going "its complicated" situationships with the cult leaders lmao. The singer asking himself if this night will be the one where they cross the point of no return, in my opinion really resonates with mc getting more and more vulnerable to the leaders, until she eventually reaches her limits and succumbs to HJ's beliefs. Tying into that, a part of the symbolism in the song expresses that some of the remaining attachment the singer has to the relationship is somewhat sexually oriented, so yknow, mc hating the main culprits of her suffering, but still kinda finding them attractive just enough to consider sleeping with them anyways (specially San, but her questioning interactions with HJ and SH just keep pilling up too, my poor girl).

The phrase I mentioned earlier, "What love could get this vicious?", can also match HJ and SH's relationship, as well as HJ and mc's developing dynamic. SH's love for HJ leads not only to his unyielding loyalty towards the guy but also enables all the horrible things we see happening in the story, plus HJ ends up hurting him through it all by being unable to actually reciprocate (and being the controlling petty little shit we see in the story). HJ and mc's dynamic of him being seemingly-kind of in love with her (??? in his own twisted way) and her growing inevitably more attached and open to him until he finally wins. It's like, he clearly treats her with some semblance of "care" that he doesn't show anyone else, and it seems to be, at least partially, based on genuine affection(??) from some of the glimpses we get of his true intentions and personality (where said "affection" for her came from still being a mystery, so yknow, questionable unclear feelings being questionable and unclear), yet we also know what those supposed feelings of his will lead to: mc will suffer because of it.

To end this insane rant, the one line of the song that started all this and reminded me of The Answer to begin with is: "This blood sometimes holiness brings you", I think this one also speaks for itself LMAO.

This was so fucking long, again I'm sorry for taking so much space but the brainrot was too strong and I thought it could at least be somewhat fun for the author of the story to see my dumb (and crazy) ramblings about her story.

- 👁👁

the way this ask has me in its clutches omg

FIRST OF ALL. LETS NOT APOLOGIZE. I LITERALLY AM IN LOVE W YOU. I LOVE YOUR ASKS ASLKADJSFLAKSDJF like the way you put more thought and effort into this ask than i do into half of my school assignments like im not even exaggerating this is a full analysis of so many things im like levitating in the air reading this

ANYWAYS. at the risk of sounding like a reply to a discussion post i really have to commend your attention to detail and say that i agree w you on all of this its crazy LKSJFAKLSF LIKE SERIOUSLY THIS IS SO INSIGHTFUL PLEASLJFLASJDLFJ

The "who did you expect me to be?" really ties it all together for me, I picture those moments when mc is shocked about how her sweet best friend became just another follower tangled in the cult's web, became someone who won't hesitate to do as he is told even if it means hurting someone else or even her (aka letting her get stabbed for a ceremony), plus his angry outbursts. Its like "did you expect me to be the same person you knew before my time in a cult?"

THIS BIT IN PARTICULAR HAS ME BITING MY FISTS YELLING SCREAMING LIKE OH MY GOOOOODDDDD ITS SO GOOD AND SO TRUE LIKE I CANT EVEN ADD ANYTHING ALJAKDLFS

like this is all just so good and top tier like. im yelling. i cant even believe this. thank you so much. AS ALWAYS. LIKE THIS IS SO LAIJFDLKASDJF I CANT EVEN ADD ANYTHING LIKE I SAID IM JUST LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LJ;LAJS;DFKJSDFA THANK YOU MWAH KISSES

#👁👁 anon #answered

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struttinevilshroom · 11 months

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Why I love writing

I've been writing reviews for over a year now and my reviews have been scattered all over the internet on various different websites under various different usernames but I think it's time for something a little different. I haven't been writing as much as I would like to because of school and because I'm trying something new... I'm building a website. This website will serve as a home for all of my reviews and I'm trying to learn HTML but it's really difficult so far. I just feel like it's appropriate because I am starting to feel a shift in the way I review things. They're starting to become more personal and more subjective and more my own thing. This is gonna be a big undertaking and will probably only come into fruition years later but I still want to do this. In the meantime, I'm still gonna write reviews for various other sites in order to improve my writing style. I already do writing exercises everyday. I want this to be a more personal sort of thing because I want to explain my writing to the best of my ability. Not that it's difficult to understand or anything like that but I've been thinking about the core philosophy of why I write and I think if you were to take a pickaxe and dig to the very core of everything that I've ever written, you'll find a quote by Franz Kafka. Who's an author that I've been reading recently. One quote by him really resonates with me.

That quote being "I write differently from what I speak, I speak differently from what I think, I think differently from the way I ought to think and so it all proceeds into the deepest darkness" - Franz Kafka

I don't know how to describe the way that this quote resonates with me. I guess it perfectly captures the disconnect in the way I speak and the way I write. I feel more free when I write than when I speak. I've written things that I would never vocalise and I feel that writing has become an art form where I can just lay myself bare and write my heart out. However, there's also the second part of the quote about thinking differently from how I ought to think. It's really sad in the context because Franz Kafka is actually a brilliant writer and people still look to his work today but back then when he was still alive, he believed that he wasn't fit to be a writer and he gave up. I believe he even ordered his friend to burn all of his writing in the case of his death which didn't happen and his work was actually published. I just find it sad because he's one of my favorite authors and his work is so timeless. If you're looking for an old, classic, timeless book, I recommend The Trial and The Metamorphosis which I'm looking to get physical copies of. Anyway for my case, it's not really that sad. "I think differently from the way I ought to", honestly, I never want to think the way that I "ought to" because there's always something to improve on and that drives me. If I ever think the way I ought to think, I'll quit, simple as that. What's the point if I'm just going to stay stagnant but the good thing is that it's an unattainable horizon that I can keep working towards but never reach and for some reason that gives me comfort.

I do have another quote but this one's not for the NERDS or the NARCS this one's for the GAMERS. Listen up, Gamer Nation, this is a quote from a video game. This quote is Metal Gear Solid 2's ending speech, so read it in your best Solid Snake voice.

"Life isn't just about passing on your genes, we can leave behind much more than DNA, through speech, music, literature and movies... what we've seen, heard, felt... anger, joy and sorrow... these are the things that I will pass on. That's what I live for. We need to pass the torch and let our children read our messy and sad history by its light. We have all the magic of the digital age to do that with. The human race will probably come to an end sometime and new species may rule over this planet. Earth may not be forever but we still have the responsibility to leave what traces of life we can. Building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same thing." - Solid Snake

You know, I used to think "what am I gonna leave behind" the thought that I wouldn't have anything of note to leave behind is scary but maybe I can leave my reviews as a trace of the past. Some of my reviews are messy and unstructured but I want our children to read our messy and sad history by its light. This quote reminds me that what we do has an impact on people. What we make can move and speak to people and that's art. It was only just recently when I felt the impact that my writing had on others. I wrote a review that I am really proud of about Pikmin 4 and my friend, who is a massive Pikmin fan said that he was smiling ear to ear while reading it. On the exact same day that I wrote that review, I gave my favorite teacher a letter that I wrote to express my appreciation. On that day at almost the exact same time, I felt the impact that my writing had on people. I want my writing to make people smile and feel appreciated in a way that I couldn't in spoken word. I love that feeling and I know it may be corny but I hope whatever I write continues to impact people like that.

Anyway, I guess this is a good time to talk about my plans for the future. My website is still a ways away but I will reveal a few plans that I have in the works. I have a list of over 40 movies which I consider to be all timers or basically 5 star films and I'm gonna review them all and talk about why these movies speak to me. I also have a big Better Call Saul review in the works, after I finish watching Better Call Saul, I wanna do a full character analysis on him and it's gonna be great. Anyway, I don't exactly have any game reviews in the works because I've been slacking on that regard. Maybe I'll do some sort of a book club thing because I've been reading a lot lately and I need a space to talk about those books. Those are all the plans that I feel comfortable revealing for now.

To end this off, I just want to thank some people. This is a bit of a call back to some steam reviews because I always used to thank the developers as if they were reading my reviews which is cringe and corny but endearing. I feel it's only sincere to thank the people that I know personally first and then thank the people who inspire me. So for starters, I wanna thank my friend who goes by Nitro in most online spaces. He's a real one for reading almost all of my reviews, even the really long ones and then still encouraging me to write more and he is not a big reader so I appreciate him putting himself through such turmoil for my sake. Next I wanna thank my science teacher, she's the teacher that i wrote a letter to and she's not gonna read this but she did help me realize the impact that my writing could have on people so she deserves a shoutout. Then we have my debate coach who I've learnt a lot from even though I only joined the team a few weeks back. He's just really wise and he taught me to always pursue wisdom, pursuing wisdom is the heart of debate. You pursue wisdom by reading and interpret that wisdom by writing. I don't know, the debate club at my school just means a lot to me. I love going there and it feels like, even if only for an hour, I belong in the school. Moving on to the people that I don't know but do inspire me, first of all, Transparency on youtube. Transparency is a youtube channel with video essays made by two people and I asked them for some advice at some point and they actually responded to me so I appreciate that. Other than that, they make good videos about games and I appreciate their insight. Then, I wanna thank Hazel and her videos aren't for everyone, I mean they're esoteric and niche but I love the way she writes her videos, I remember sometime last year, I was watching one of her videos with earphones and I felt a tiny prick in my temple and I was perplexed as to what pricked me and then I realized that her writing was so sharp that it pricked me. All that to say her writing is sharp and she's witty. I also want to thank Tim Rogers of Action Button dot Net because his review of Boku No Natsuyasumi is the best video ever made and he is my biggest writing inspiration. His review of Boku No Natsuyasumi is 6 hours long but if you love my reviews, then there is no word in the English language to describe how you will feel about his reviews. Lastly but certainly not least, I want to thank you, the reader on whatever corner of the internet this post finds itself on, I want to thank you for reading it, whether you want to read my future reviews or think this was garbage and I'm pretentious, I still want to thank you either way.

Anyway, stay tuned and I'll catch you in the next one...

#writing #review #actual post #dear diary #diary entry #update #tim rogers #metal gear solid 2 #franz kafka

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year

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Another Chortle headline roundup, and this one is... look, maybe the arts have had a good go, and don't need to happen anymore. Maybe we can all take a step back and ask ourselves how many bits of written or spoken word the world actually needs. (This does not apply to the new Garth Marenghi book, Matthew Holness should feel free to do his thing into eternity, if he likes).

I did enjoy this, further down the page, though:

Because it says:

American talk-show hosts including John Oliver and Stephen Colbert have launched a podcast to support Hollywood’s striking writers. The broadcast rivals, who have been off air for four months, joined forces for the Spotify series to raise money for their crew. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel and Seth Meyers are also involved in the project, named Strike Force Five.

So, is that a correct estimation they've made of British audiences, assuming they've definitely heard of John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, but the other three can be afterthoughts that you may or may not have heard of? Congratulations, John! You're finally famous in Britain! If you'd only you'd managed that 15 years ago, maybe you wouldn't have had to leave.

I haven't listened to any of this podcast yet. I have downloaded both episodes so far, with the thought that maybe I'll skim them at some point. I have to balance my desire to hear John Oliver talk with my lack of desire to hear those other four guys talk. Not that I hate any of them or anything, I'm just not at all interested in them and I don't really want to listen to a whole hour of four guys I don't care about and John Oliver. (with Colbert as a bit of an exception, I did love The Colbert Report as a teenager and watched it every night for years, but I haven't followed or wanted to follow anything he's done since). I have even less of a need to listen to the episodes because of the great recaps @lastweeksshirttonight has been doing. Those recaps are all I really want from this podcast - a summary of what happened in general, with a significant focus on John Oliver's contributions. So I probably don't have to listen to any of them myself now, I can just read that.

I have to say, looking at those five names in a row - I know they're all self-aware about this, and pointing it out is nothing new, and people talk about it all the time, but still, putting them all together as Strike Force Five really drives home how much late night TV in America is run by five straight white men, two of whom look like the same person and also have the same name. They couldn't have invited, like, Trevor Noah or Samantha Bee? Yes I realize both of them stopped doing the late-night job in 2022 and therefore don't have shows that are currently on strike, but still, recent enough, and going with a bit of tokenism might have been slightly better than just having the five as they are in this case. (I also realize that a whole lot of my favourite comedy things involve groups of straight white men, but in my defense, those are mostly from the 00s, and we're theoretically supposed to have more diversity in 2023, right?)

Also, it's been a while now but I don't think I've mentioned in a post yet that the brief, beautiful, never-actually-really-realistic-but-it-looked-slightly-possible-for-a-moment-there dream of John Oliver on Taskmaster is dead. He's announced new shows that conflict with the recording dates. He said he was doing those shows to make more money to keep paying his writers while they strike, which of course is the main reason for his whole stand-up tour, and is also the stated reason for this podcast. Which I guess is a good thing for me to remember, when I was making my post about how he's doing stand-up even though he doesn't need the money because he likes having work to do so maybe he'll do Taskmaster for the same reason. I suppose I could have taken a slightly broader view and remembered things like the large numbers of show staff who are not John Oliver rich and who need support, and doing stand-up in the US will do a lot more to solve that problem than flying to England to do Taskmaster, so, okay, fine, I guess John Oliver's making reasonable choices here. I guess if I try to be less myopic, I can remember that people's livelihoods are more important than having John Oliver on Taskmaster.

Anyway. The point is, get it together Chrotle.

God, does the world ever not fucking need any of those things.

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sincelastsession · 4 months

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Oh to be a spoiled fat house cat, no thoughts, empty head, lounging on a paper bag.

Anyway I woke up to a lil video my partner sent me. It was the sounds of the beach and little birds looking out a window. Really peaceful.

He had to drive home straight to work after that.

I'm still in freeze. I tried to get a little bit done. I'm really pissed at myself because I wanted to leave and go places and get groceries but I can't get myself to leave so easy and didn't write a list and forgot to charge my headphones.

My mom ordered me some cheap as hell noise canceling headphones when I asked her not to because I've tried the military grade which I may have to go get. She's been nothing but nasty to me with her tone and it's just like in the book I'm reading. I'd called her late to chat with her about 5mins. She was wildly mean and wouldn't stop freaking out to let me speak and before I could speak she had flipped out thinking I was going to bring up my sister. Then I told her I wasn't and she ranted more. This predicting what I was calling about and making assumptions about me and lashing out continued and she kept threatening to hang up if I didn't tell her what I called about and fussing about how I never shut up. So I finally snapped and was like "can you please calm down and shut the fuck up and quit bitching at me so I can speak you've been NOTHING but nasty to me for no reason and you know I'm having trouble and you know bitching and yelling makes me have more issues so why are you doing that? Why are you holding a Grudge about how I had a bad voice tone and was having bad compulsory issues that made it look like I was mad which I told you I wasn't and it wasn't about you and more on you attacking me the entire time because your driving is scary and I mentioned that too much?" Like she holds grudges and resentment forever no matter how I try to explain my shit isn't directed at her unless I'm like "hey yeah I'm actually mad at you" so idk how long this call is going but my mom counts the minutes because it's clear that she only likes chatting with me on her time. In fact no one in the family has ever wanted to talk to me unless it's their insane terms. She kept bitching on the phone and I said what I needed to but didn't get an answer and was about to cry and told her "you know you and dad are EXACTLY like how this book I'm reading describes emotionally immature parents and I'm not perfect either but it's on point" and then she demanded the book name which I haven't given her because when my parents do read therapy books they use it against me and cherry pick.

So finally I have enough because she's still bitching and I never got the answer to the question and I was so anxious I needed to go throw up. (Not in the eating disorder way, I was very anxious and literally couldn't stomach the stress)

I told her " You know what I'm not your parent and I'm hanging up"

This is not the worst interaction we've had it's just a typical one.

The amount of dumb bullshit that could be avoided if my parents just educated themselves on my mental and physical health issues or just LISTENED to my experiences is STAGGERING.

I know I can't make them do anything. I'm not going to let them treat me like shit though then bitch when I have enough and flip out back at them. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or how or my wording or tone they are ready to attack me.

I'm sure I do lots of shitty things too and guess where it came from? But I'll admit it and work on it and they fuckin do not care enough about me to treat me correctly.

I'm not trying to control them. They act so paranoid. I'm just trying to teach them about me and how to treat me.

They think they're normal and that other families are terrible too.

I know most of my friends have pretty chill normal families. I've heard thier drama and it's like "wahhh mom raised her voice at me because I did a dumb thing"

I'm not treated like an adult fully. I'm an autistic adult with ocd adhd and cptsd and I need accommodation and understanding and to be given cues and met at least part of the way if not half. But im treated like I'm trying to ruin their lives. It HURTS.

Sometimes I don't feel bad but 80% of the time I feel guilt and shame and I reflect and pick at everything I do that's wrong.

I was a parentified child clearly because I felt like more of an adult as a kid than I do as an adult now. Things that didn't bug me back then are scary and challenging now.

My parents haven't emotionally matured and neither has my sister. I've seen her fiancé's snap chat and she's not really happy and it's fake and I can tell. Like honestly I wish I'd had a body cam for various parts of my life just to show therapists and doctors. They're all such good actors.

I don't understand.

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father-time-and-baby-new-year · 3 years

Text

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

#attack on titan fanfiction #eren x y/n #tw dubcon #bully eren yeager #bullying #toxic eren #yandere eren x reader #eren x reader

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matbaerzal · 3 years

Text

Swedish Summer | J. Markstrom

A/N: This is for the fic exchange that the lovely @antoineroussel put together! I got @bqstqnbruin , I hope you like this ❤️ Summary: You spend your summer in Sweden with Jacob and it brings up a few memories. Warnings: None that I can think of... A few Swedish words?? Words: 1,6K (it's a short one I'm sorry 🥺)

Italics = flashbacks

"I don’t think I ever want to leave this place" you murmur as you lean your head against Jacob's shoulder. Your eyes are set on the view of the sea from the sunroom of the cabin you'd rented for the week. You'd only just arrived and just placed your bags in your room before sitting down. It had been a long drive to get here, so the last thing you wanted to do was unpack.

It was your first time in Sweden, your first time meeting his family - there were a lot of firsts. After two weeks around his family, you both decided that you needed some alone time together. His family had been great, like better than you could've imagined, but you felt a little overwhelmed and he could spot that from a mile away.

"The cabin or Sweden?" he laughs.

"Sweden" you smile, looking up at him.

"Yeah?"

You see the excitement in his eyes, he'd been nervous to ask you to come visit. He knew it was a big step, but he was more than ready to take it, and he thought you might be too - but the "what if's" always played with his mind.

You'd been hit by the harsh reality that the season was ending soon - which meant that Jacob was eventually going to go home to Sweden. He could see how quiet you got, which gave him a little hope that maybe you'd say yes to his pending question. "Time will fly by," he tries to promise, and you huff out before he continues. "but I was thinking maybe you could come with- or I've been meaning to ask you"

You're taken aback by his question at first not sure if you heard him right or not, the look you give him is nothing but puzzled.

"It's only if you want to, of course- I don't expect you to just up and leave everything to come with me to Sweden-"

It's like his rambling woke you up, and you don't have to think it over before you say "I'd love to, of course I'll come to Sweden with you Jacob."

The excitement he'd had then, once you said yes resembled the one he had right now. And his heart swelled at how comfortable you felt in his home country, with his family - you fit right in.

You lean up and kiss his cheek before laying your head back on his shoulder, basking in the sunlight, listening to the waves of the ocean.

"Wanna go for a swim?" he asks, nudging you softly.

"Do you think it's gonna be cold?"

"We can check once we're down there"

"Alright, I'll go get changed"

---

The water was perfect, just warm enough to go right in, but still, a refreshing break from the sun, cooling your skin. He'd jumped right in from the pier and you'd taken the ladder, needing to dip your toe in the water first.

After swimming around each other for a bit you'd ended up back by the ladder with you seated on one of the steps and him between your legs holding on to the ladder with one hand, the other tracing patterns on your skin.

The softness in his eyes was a familiar one - one you saw every day when he looked at you.

He's sure of himself when he leans in and captures your lips in a sweet kiss.

There'd been a time when he wasn't sure when you'd first met and started seeing each other. He knew he liked you, he knew he wanted to kiss you, to hold you, to be yours. He didn't know if you felt the same, however.

"Can i kiss you?" he whispers.

He was so close you could feel his breath on his face as he spoke, and you'd been ready for him to kiss you when he'd moved closer. His question took you by surprise, knocked the air out of you - here's this confident, handsome, kind man and he's asking if he can kiss you as if he's not sure.

Instinct takes over and before you know it you're nodding - "kiss me, Jacob"

His lips felt as if they were made for kissing yours from the first time you kissed, even though he'd been cautious - testing the waters. But now that you'd both gotten to know every in and out of each other, it was shocking you ever did anything but kiss. His hand wrapping around your waist - just the way you like it. Your nails softly scratching his scalp - just the way he likes it. Your tongues teasing each other as you deepen the kiss.

---

You dry off in the sun together and Jacob gets up before you to make some dinner before you finally unpack all of your stuff. You follow him shortly after to help out, moving around together in the unfamiliar kitchen to find all the things you need.

After dinner, you're both too full to even think about unpacking and you end up on the couch, forgetting all about it until you head to bed. A groan leaves him when he sees the bags you left on the bed - "shit, should we just leave it till tomorrow?" he tries

"Then we'll never get it done" you sigh, walking over to unzip your bag.

"Yeah, alright" he follows your lead, bumping his hip into you playfully before opening his own bag. You help each other hang and fold your clothes, and you would've been done in a few minutes if he didn't keep distracting you by grabbing your hips, kissing your lips, and ticking your sides.

It reminded you of how he acted whenever you spent a weekend at his place when you first started seeing each other. He was always so happy to have you in his space, acting as if slowing you down would make the time slow down too. He'd especially distract you when you were packing your stuff back up - as if the weekend wouldn't end if you never packed.

"Don't go" he almost whined as you zipped up your bag.

"You know I have to, all my stuff for work is at home"

"Just bring it here next time then, I'll even drive you to work"

"It'd be too much to bring back and forth all the time"

"So don't"

"What- you just said-"

"No, I mean don't bring it back and forth, leave it here"

"What do you mean leave it here?"

"Move in with me," he says as if it is the most obvious solution to your problem.

And it made complete sense to you too, you spent every moment you could at his place. There was no need to weigh the pros and cons, you knew you wanted it straight away.

"What are you thinking about, Älskling?"

"Us" you smile and he hums, asking for you to continue to which you tease him about how he always used to distract you - "old habits die hard, I guess" you giggle.

---

You could swear it's the middle of the night when he wakes you, your eyes struggling to open as he whispers in your ear "baby, wake up, I gotta show you something"

There's a dim light coming from the window, and you're barely awake as he wraps the duvet around you and helps you out of the bed. The air is cool as you step outside, the birds chirping as you make your way to the pier.

By the time you get there, the sky starts to slowly change colors. You'd been too tired to notice what was going on until now, your eyes blinking to take in the sight of the sunrise. You lean into his side as he wraps an arm around you. Even though you could easily fall back asleep in the comfort of his embrace you can't take your eyes off of the way the sun colors the sky as it starts a new day.

"Love?" he murmurs as if to check if you're awake. All you can manage to reply is a hum. "C'mere" he tilts your chin to look up at him and kisses you softly.

"Jag älskar dig" he smiles

"I love you too"

There's a sudden serious look that crosses his face, not in a bad way, but in a way that tells you he's about to say something important and it sharpens your attention as he looks into your eyes.

"When I first met you I was afraid that my life, my busy schedule would make us drift apart. I wanted to hold on to you for as long as I could, and could only hope that you would do the same. But now, now I know that it's you and me - it's us."

He pauses, and you take a deep breath after having unconsciously held it while he spoke, hanging dearly on to every word.

"I've been waiting for the perfect moment to ask you, but I've realized that every moment I spend with you is perfect"

"Jacob-" his glossy eyes match your own as your voice trembles. You know what he's about to say and you know your answer, holding it in until he finally speaks them.

"Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"

Your mouth is agape, but the words you want to say don't seem to come out as you look at him.

"The ring's inside- I forgot to bring it, I didn't know I was gonna-"

"Yes, of course" you interrupt his rambling, "of course, I'll marry you"

He'd been waiting for the perfect moment and your think to yourself as you melt into each other that he couldn't have picked a better one. There'll be a day when you share your love for your family and loved ones to see, but this moment right here is just for the two of you.

#jacob markstrom #jacob markstrom imagine #jacob markstrom fic #nhl imagine #nhl fic #op:w #hockey rpf

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dreamhot · 3 years

Note

Yeah that anon is based. I mainly listen to Rock/Punk music, so Dreams songs aren't really music I'll listen to on a casual basis (I've listened to most of them only once or twice after their releases because I love Dream and want to know what he's doing <3 /parasocial)

But I've Never felt the need to criticise his songs? Just because it's a genre I don't particularly enjoy? The few times I've heard them I was actaully very impressed by Dream's voice, he's clearly got a LOT of singing potential and is slowly finding his niche, im still surprised by his vocal range! I'd actually agree that he outshone Alec Benjamin in Change my Clothes by a lot, he really put his whole Dreaussy into that (sorry)

And obviously, aside from the straight up stupid "cc music is BAD" and "Dream sucks" takes, all the people starting compliments by first having to state how much they dislike Dream or a music genre are bottom of the barrel. I guess the idea that cringe culture is dead and other people are allowed to have different tastes has passed them by until now

yeah like. dream isn't a musician. this isn't his Thing. afaik his main drive for releasing music is that the songs provide an emotional/creative outlet - which is entirely fair! at least it feels somewhat genuine (compared to other influencers who release soulless music, presumably at the recommendation of a manager somewhere along the line - not in this fandom but ykwim)

i just can't handle backhanded support in these instances. it's similar to when people wanna defend the mcyt/dsmp fandom but preface their arguments with 'most of us hate dream anyway!!' like okay? do you want a medal? it's just ... never necessary to make it obvious how much you hate something if you're trying to defend it, bc you're undermining your own point. course it's also not necessary to endlessly crow about how much u hate something ANYWAY but . yknow how twitter can be sometimes

#smile.ask #anon #fandom critical

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starryyyjoon · 3 years

Text

I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot

word count: 8.2k

pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader

summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.

disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!

Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.

There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.

I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.

"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.

"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.

"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.

"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.

The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.

All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.

The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.

His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.

"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.

"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.

"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?

"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.

"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.

"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.

"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.

"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.

"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.

"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.

"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.

"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.

"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.

"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.

"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.

For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.

"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.

"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.

"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.

It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.

"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.

"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.

"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.

"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.

"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.

"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.

"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.

"You look casual", he teased me.

"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.

"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.

"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.

"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.

"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.

The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.

"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.

"Bye", I left.

________________

"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.

"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.

"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.

He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.

"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.

"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.

"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.

Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.

"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.

"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.

"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.

Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.

Ah.

I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.

This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.

I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.

"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.

"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.

"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.

"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.

"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.

"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.

"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.

"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.

"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.

"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.

After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.

"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.

"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.

"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.

"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.

"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.

"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.

"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.

"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.

"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.

"No", I said back in a split second.

"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.

"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.

"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.

"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.

"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.

"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.

"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.

It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.

I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.

"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.

"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.

"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.

"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.

"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.

"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.

"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.

"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.

"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.

"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.

"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.

What?

"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.

"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.

"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.

"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.

I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.

I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.

I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.

He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.

He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.

He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.

I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.

I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.

I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.

As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.

He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.

A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.

"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.

"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.

"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.

"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.

Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.

"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.

"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.

After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.

The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.

I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?

________________

I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.

I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.

I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"

In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".

"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.

The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?

Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.

"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.

"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.

"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.

"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.

"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.

"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.

My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.

I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.

I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.

"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.

"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.

"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.

Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.

Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.

That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.

"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.

"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.

"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.

"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.

"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.

"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.

"I don't care", he eyed me.

"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.

"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.

I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.

"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.

Deal with it.

As if.

Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.

I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.

He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.

I like you. I like you a lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.

"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.

"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.

"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.

"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.

"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.

"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.

"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.

I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.

"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.

It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.

I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.

It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.

I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.

He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.

It was good.

"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.

"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.

"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.

"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.

"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.

"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.

After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".

"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.

"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.

"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.

"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.

"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.

"Like what?", I asked him.

"Like you can love me", he said.

"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.

"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.

"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.

"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.

________________

My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.

It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.

He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.

He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.

"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.

"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.

"Right now?", he asked surprised.

"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.

"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.

"I, you", I held his hand again.

#bts #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic

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impala1967dwinchester · 3 years

Text

Dean Winchester: Brandy

*Credit to the gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Fem!Reader

Pov: Deans

Warnings: Drinking, drunk texting, bad dancing, having to rescue Dean, Friends to loversish, Believing in destiny kinda.

Summary: Dean spends the whole night at the bar, tryin' every bottled drink. Ends up drunk texting Y/n and being completely honest with her

Word Count: 2.1k

A/N: (Based on the song Wine, Beers, Whiskey by Little Big Town)

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

I sat at the bar of the old bar. It reminded me of Harvelle's. The old smell, the plaid-up men and women that I noticed came walking in through that door.

It was amazing. I was a drinker, always had been. The first drink I had with my dad, I was fifteen. A beer we shared, that should be an amazing moment for father and son, but it was ruined for the simple fact that we had no home, and my father and instructed me to take care of my younger brother.

I grew up, mostly without my father after that. He prioritizes hunting and saving people over me, and over his youngest son. Everything was always secrets. So many secrets, that it's started to become how Sam and I live.

There were certain things that I had learned from my father. How to protect, how to be anger almost all of the time, and how to handle my liquor.

So I sat at the bar, my hand around an iced cold glass of beer. I sipped and watched people. I wasn't in the mood to hook up with any. I mean yeah sure there was probably someone out there that was meant for me, but that's getting into destiny shit.

You know how bars, almost always have music playing. Well being in the good old state of Kansas, so pretty much any place you walk into is playing music more specifically country music.

It started to come through the speakers. I had already been here for what seemed like hours, I had enough beers, that I had switched to drinking something harder.

Something like a whiskey.

"My friend named Jack"

"He's got my back"

"He always seems to know right where I'm at"

Well, this is definitely a song I could get used to listening to. I don't think anybody else was listening. All having their own private conversations. The barmaid was a beautiful young lady, but even still with her crop top of a shirt and the cleavage that was burst out of her shirt.

I wasn't interested in her. Every time she'd come over. "You need anything else sweetheart." Bending halfway down to try and have me look down.

I waved her off. Maybe I should try something else. Waving her back over, I asked "Do you have something stronger?" she looked at me sideways, before saying "If it's something stronger than you want I've got you" and then she walked away.

When she returned with the rest of the bottle of Jose. A half left standing in the clear bottle. "Here's something stronger, forty percent." She said taking my empty beer bottle and empty cup that had been holding the recently downed Jack Daniels.

"My friend Jose"

"He likes to play"

"He's always up for anything I say"

I downed the rest of the bottle, not even needing the new glass she had bought for me to use. Slamming the bottle down on the countertop. She snapped her head around, our eye making contact before she grabbed something off the shelf.

"If that's the type of night you're having you should have said." She said handing me a half empty glass of crown apple. "Thanks, I can handle my liquor so no need to worry about me," I said as she left to take care of other people sitting at the bar.

I sat alone. Like I always have, it was the best way to number one people watch, but it also gave me a reason to think. Nobody trying to pull my belt out of my jean loops. No need to save someone this was my safe haven sometimes.

Alcohol was my safe haven. It's always been that way. It's always been able to understand me ten times more than Sammy. Well I mean there was always Y/n, she lived with us, but she was my friend, my best friends. There is something that she just doesn't need to know.

I took a swig, drinking down most of the bottle.

"Little bit of red, lotta bit of crown"

"Don't matter what it is"

"I'm gonna drink it down, down, down"

Was it just me or was this song getting better by the second. Maybe, It was just me. I looked around me, couples stood dancing to this song, some sat with clasped hands. And the older men sat at the bar, I was an older man sitting at bar watching like a creep.

"The wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"Are the only things that fix me"

"I'm not saying it's a problem"

"I can stop it if I wanna"

"But the wine, the beer, the whiskey"

"They always get me"

Wow, I'm started to get the idea that I can relate to this song. The lyrics are right you know. Liquor is the only thing that can fix me, calms me down and then I sleep it off. It's right the lyrics I can stop if I wanna. But do I really wanna stop?

"Here," The young lady said, handing me a made drink "Here's a gin and tonic." Walking away yet again to take care of other patrons. A gin and tonic, not a drink I was every ballses enough to try.

Taking the little green umbrella out, I took my first sip. "Shit that's actually really good," I said more to myself than anyone else. I looked up from my gin and tonic drink, looking at the glass wall.

It held so many drinks that I hadn't heard of before. Like a new drink called "Screwball", "Kingfisher". Odd brand names but they all looked like awesome drinks. But of course, there was the regular drinks, the brandy, sherry which is a wine, and Jim Beam

"My friend named Gin"

"She's got some friends"

"I'm talking Brandy, Sherry, and their brother Jim"

"Hey, so it sorta looks like we're going along with the song, so I'll grab you a shot of rum, Captain." She said pulling a tiny shot glass out and pulling the bottle off of the shelf.

She slides the small glass across the table, I caught some rum tipping out and falling over my thumb. 'I wonder what Y/n would do if she was here with me? I wonder if I would have her pushed up against the wall, kissing down her neck.'

Shaking my head; stop thinking of her that she... She doesn't think of you in the same way, you are an idiot. Taking my rum-filled shot quickly. I pulled out my phone.

'Don't do what you're about to do'

"I'll be fine," I said to myself. The room was starting to spin. Or maybe I was just spinning. 'Stop thinking about Y/n. She doesn't need to deal with your drunk ass' "Oh come on I'm not that drunk" I was still sitting at the bar, but people were starting to look at me.

>Y/n, you know I've just gotta say. YOu're beautiful.

Dots played at the bottom of my screen.

>Dean that's very nice.

Minutes pass, so I send another message.

>You know I think I'm falling.

Immediate answers came

>Falling?? What do you mean?

>Winchester? Where are you?

She asked, she only ever called me Winchester when she was pissed off, but I was too worried about telling her the truth.

>Y/n, I've spent the past forever fawning over you. I spent it, wanting, yearning for you. I guess after years of wanting you, years after having nobody in my bed. Wishing and hoping that it was you.

>Dean send me your current loca!

>We can talk more tomorrow

I was able to send her my location, she pulled up in a rather crappy car. Walking in distress, her black night shorts, a pair of slippers on, and my red and black plaid shirt on.

She came over, apologizing grabbing my arm, and wrapping it over her head. "Dean, let's go, now," she said dragging me out. "You smell so good Y/n," I said going to pet her hair. She rested me up against the side of the baby.

"Where are your keys, Dean?" She asked her voice starting to become more worrisome. "In my.." I stopped talking and just reached for her hand, shoving it into my jacket pocket. "Right here!" I said I let go of her wrist and she looked up at me.

She got me into the car, somehow. I rested my head against the back of the front seat. "I felt and heard the rumble of baby engine. "Dean, what were you doing?" I looked over at her. "I wanted a drink."

The rest of the drive was quiet, she helped me out of the car after shutting the loud engine off. The sound finally stops bouncing off the cinderblock walls. "Dean. Couch, bed, or table?" She asked.

"Couch, comfier," I said breathing in more of Y/n's scent. I've never been this close to her, for this long. she smelled like a garden of flowers and honey. she smelt of summer. She looked like summer half the time.

"Are you a god?" I blurted out. Her eyebrows creased, licking her lips. "No, Dean I'm not a god," Y/n said reaching around behind the couch and grabbing a blanket but not before untying my boots.

She tossed the blanket over my body and went to walk off. "Y/n?" I asked. "Yes, Dean." She said with a sigh. "Can you get me a water, so I can maybe explain myself?" I asked.

A pleading look on my face, the puppy dog eyes I had learned from Sam. "Fine Winchester, but you've five to explain yourself." She said stomping off into the kitchen, and back with a tall glass of ice water.

She stood next to me. "Can you sit? Please Y/n?" I begged. I sipped on the water, trying to regain any sort of control of myself. She sat crisscrossing her legs. Her exposed legs, my eyes drifted from her legs.

My eyes came back up to hers. "Start explaining Winchester, you've got four minutes." I shook my head, clasping my hands together. I cleared my throat.

"I've sat here for the past few years, wondering why everything seems weird. It's hard. y'know because that song was right in the bar. I don't want to be alone not anymore, I don't wanna watch the couple dances anymore, I wanna be one of the couples, that hold each other hands."

I said, looking at her. She broke our eye contact when she started to fidget with the bottom of my flannel. "You know that's my flannel?" I asked grabbing her hands.

"I want you, I want you in my bed. I want to drink with my girl. I want to love you because Y/n that's really the truth." I said, "I love you Y/n" We sat in silence for a few, "Y/n please say something?" Now I'm begging her, this entire night has been a fucking mess.

"What are you waiting for you dumb Winchester? Come kiss your girl." It only took a few moments for the words to click in my mind. I grabbed the back of her neck and she fell into my lap.

It wasn't like fireworks or lighting coming down. It just fit so well, it was more like finishing a puzzle, puzzle pieces just fitting together so well. A missing part of me found filled and always there for you.

"Dean? Y/n?" I heard Sam said and properly say "Nevermind." And leave. I felt Y/n's lips leave mine. Realizing that I needed air, my lungs burning but in a good way.

"That was something," I said, catching my breath. "That's was awesome!" Y/n said kissing chastely. "Did you hear Sam?" I asked her, she giggled she rolled her. "I bet he's in there going I just knew it," Y/n said. I laughed and hugged.

"My feet hurt, I think I may have blacked out and started dancing by myself," I said, flexing my socked toes. "You dancing!?" Y/n questioned, "Oh we've gotta go back to that bar and get that tape, for FBI reasons." Y/n said.

My mouth gaping open. She laughed more, and she started to have a few tears. "You know Y/n. I'll you back for that, now come on. You'll love the memory foam bed." I said, Whispering closing to Y/n's ear "It remembers you Y/n." My hand landing on her lower as we walked to my room.

Completed on: 05/12/2021

Posted on: 05/14/2021

Dean Winchester Tag List: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski @doctorlilo @wonderfulworldofwinchester

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morosemagick · 3 years

Text

What Happens Here | Finan x OC One Shot

Prompt: There's Only One Bed (as joked about with @emilyhufflepufftlk!) Title Inspired by the song "What Happens Here" by Zara Larrson!

Warning: Recreational Drinking & Smut. Lots of Smut

Words: 4318

Tagged:

@solinarimoon @emilyhufflepufftlk @magravenwrites @lauwrite1225 @obipoelover @thebohemianpenguin @axe-does-writing @for-bebbanburg

She wasn't sure why she was here. Well, she was, Sigrid's baby brother was getting married this weekend. Her family followed many old norse traditions (never mind the fact that his fiance was Christian) so weddings in their family were a big deal. When her brother, Sihtric, called Sigrid to tell her the news he all but begged her to come home for the wedding.

They were the only family that mattered, In each other's eyes, it was a big deal for her to go home.

So she did.

Sihtrics' fiance made plans for the wedding party to stay in the same house for the whole weekend. The wedding party included all their friends… all of which are either married or dating each other.

One, then, would understand just how awkward it is when Sigrid finds out she'll be sharing a room with the only other single person in the party.

Her brother's best friend, Finan.

She didn't know much about the guy other than the fact that they went to Uni together, and that she just beat him out for best man.

Talk about being set up for disaster.

"Sigrid, I didn't realize you would make it in time," Sihtric tried to apologize privately after his fiance, Ealhswith, broke the news, but Sigrid just wasn't having it, "Maybe we'll ask one of the guys to just.. double up or something."

"Your entire wedding party is couples, Sihtric, you can't just ask them to not share a room with their partner," Sigrid argued as she slumped into a chair in her brothers' suite, "I can go to a hotel, it's fine."

"You're my sister, I want you here," Sihtric told her with a sad look, "Let me talk to Finan when he gets here."

"Tell me the room has a couch, at least?" Sigrid asked him and the look he gave her was not very comforting, "Why are you like this?"

"It's one weekend, Sigrid, please! I get married tomorrow," Sihtric walked over to his sister and got on one knee as he begged her, "all you have to do is play nice-"

"I am always nice!" Sigrid argued with a smirk across her face, but seeing the puppy dog look on her brother's face was enough for her to oblige, "Fine! I'll share the room, but he's sleeping on the floor."

"Thank you, Sigrid!" Sihtric smiles as he jumps to hug her, making the chair fall over.

Sigrid laughed as they fell, hugging him back, "Alright, alright! Let's get going, I need a drink!"

"I'm sure Ealhswith has started the party without us," Her brother laughs as they both get up, and fix the chair before heading down to the main living space of the house

————————————<3—————————————

Finan gets to the house last and everyone is starting to drink without him. Since everyone is drinking, no one sees him sneak in, finding Uhtred in the kitchen.

Uhtred was another groomsman, as well as Sihtric's cousin.

"Uhtred?" Finan questions as he finds his friend, who smiles at the sight of him, "Good lord, what have you done to your hair?"

The last he saw his friend, Uhtred had long hair with the sides shaved and the rest shoved in a high ponytail. Now that was gone too and the long hair cut short.

"Ah, Gisela did not want me to look like a heathen for my cousin's wedding," Uhtred chuckles as he greets his friend with a handshake, "How was the drive?"

"Long," Finan huffs with a smile, "Where's my room? I need to change."

"Your room," Uhtred snickered as he pulled out a bunch of shot glasses from a cabinet, "Someone should have been here earlier.. you would have had a better pick."

Finan scrunches his brows, "Why- where am I?"

Uhtred glances his way and shrugs, turning back to what he was doing, "You should be asking who you are with."

"Seriously? Sihtric wants me to share a room?" Finan questioned Uhtred, who snickers his breath as he found a bottle and started to pour them shots, "With who? No one else is staying here."

"The best man," Uhtred explained with a smirk on his lips, "You'll be fine."

Finan took one of the shots and downed it quickly, Uhtred already filling his glass, "I thought Sihtrics' best man wasn't coming tonight?"

"Apparently they made the flight," Uhtred tells him as he puts the rest of the shots on a tray to carry to the other room.

Finan didn't know much about the man who managed to upstage him as best man for his best friend's wedding, other than they were siblings. One he hadn't seen in a long time. It's hard to be mad at being picked over family, except for when you've known the guy for 5 years, and not once has he mentioned having a brother.

But it was not Finan's wedding, it was Sihtrics'.

Uhtred and Finan make their way into the main living room just as Sihtric and a woman Finan has never seen before enters the room. Sihtric drags her closer to the group of couples who make up the rest of the wedding party, and points to the woman, "Everyone, you remember my sister? Sigrid, this is the rest of the wedding party."

A sister?

Finan only learned about a brother… but a sister? He had no idea.

"It's nice to see everyone, again," Sigrid says with a chuckle and a slight wave, looking around at everyone in the room.

As her eyes meet Finan's, he can feel his heart drop to his feet. She's fucking gorgeous.

Uhtred puts the tray of shots down on the coffee table in the middle of the room, and everyone else reaches over to grab a shot.

"Wait!" Uhtred shots before anyone has a chance to take their shot, "Perhaps the maid of honor and best man should say a few words?"

Gisela; Uhtred's wife and Ealhswith's maid of honor, is first to stand, "To Sihtric and Ealsie! We all wish you many happy years together!"

Gisela then glances at Sigrid, and for a moment Finan is really confused.

That is... until she starts to speak.

"To my baby brother and his wife to be," Sigrid adds as she raises her shot glass, "Anyone who can put up with Sihtric is a saint, we are happy to have you become one of us, Ealhswith." Ealhswith wipes a tear from her face as Sigrid tips her glass just slightly, "Cheers!"

The rest of the party yells cheers, except for Finan, who's frozen in place looking mighty confused.

"You alright there, Finan?" Asks Osferth, Sihtrics' childhood friend and another groomsman, as he walks over and nudges his arm.

"I am… lost," Finan explains as he raises the shot glass to his lips.

"Oh, I should've told you," Uhtred puts his hand on Finan's shoulder and smirks, "Sihtrics' sister is his best man."

The words come out of Uhtred's mouth just as Finan takes his shot, causing the Irishman to choke on his liquor.

"She's what?!"

————————————<3—————————————

"He's handsome isn't he?" Gisela whispers to Sigrid as she lifts the cocktail to her mouth.

"Who?"

"Finan, Sigrid, are you not listening!" Ealhswith tries to whisper but she's a bit tipsy so it's not really as quiet as she intends.

Sigrid glances over her future sister-in-law's shoulder at the men, who are currently in the middle of a drinking contest. From the looks of it, Sihtric is not winning.

Next to her brother, cheering him on is Finan. There's a big, cheeky, smile on the Irishman's face as he encourages Sihtric to keep drinking and for just a moment, she can see his eyes glance her way.

Okay, maybe they are onto something.

Finan is tall with longish hair and a thick beard. Sigrid guesses he must work out with just how his broad his shoulders are, and his even broader chest… and those arms-

Okay, fine. He's gorgeous. They win.

But she won't tell them that, "Yeah. He's alright."

"Oh come on," Eadith chuckles, playfully shoving Sigrid's side, "Most of us would like a piece of that Irish-"

"Eadith!" Gisela gasps with a smile.

"What," Eadith shrugs, "I have eyes, I can use them."

"Osferth doesn't satisfy enough, Eadith?" Sigrid smirks, leaning back on the couch. They were an odd couple, Eadith and Osferth, but the two of them seemed to really work in sync.

"Oh he satisfies just fine," Eadith raises a brow as she takes a sip of her drink, "There is nothing I would change about how that man performs in bed."

"Alright- I've heard enough," Sigrid raises her hand as she leans forward to put her drink down and the other girls boo her and laugh at her embarrassment, "I need to piss, and you ladies need water."

"Ah, come on, Sigrid, don't be a prude!" Ealhswith whines as Sigrid starts to rise from her seat.

"I draw the line on sharing sex life secrets of men I've known since I was a child," Sigrid laughs as she gets to her feet and heads for the bathroom.

When she gets to the bathroom, she wets her face a bit to cool herself down, grateful she isn't wearing much makeup. After a deep breath, she starts to open the door to leave, and on the other side waiting is Finan.

"Oh, I didn't realize-"

"No it's fine," Sigrid tells him as she tries to go around him awkwardly. He doesn't move much, so they are pretty close to each other as Sigrid tries to go around but instead of moving they both find themselves stuck chest to chest in the doorway.

She's never been a shy woman, but she usually isn't the one to make the first move. So tonight, she's lucky she's tipsy because now she has all the confidence she needs to do whatever stupid thing she wishes.

Include flirting with this man.

"So you're the man I'm supposed to share a bed with," Sigrid smirks as her chest rises and falls with every deep breath she takes.

Finan raises a brow, "I thought it was just a room."

"I don't know if you've been in there yet," Sigrid glances down the hall to make sure no one is coming, and then looks back at Finan, "But there's only one bed."

"What a shame," Finan tells her as he leans forward, stopping right as he hovers her lips, "Looks like you'll be on the couch."

Sigrid doesn't break eye contact as she takes a deep breath and then smirks, "What couch?"

He leans back with eyebrows scrunched and a semi smile on his face, and Sigrid takes that moment to wink and walk away.

She has no idea how she's expected to spend the night alone with this man.

————————————<3—————————————

Finan is fucked.

More than fucked.

He's been trying to fight the urge to flirt with his best friend's sister all night, because… you know... best friend's sister.. and then he runs into her by the bathroom. It was so painfully tempting to pull her into the room, lock the door, and do whatever he can to please her but he contains himself.

Because that's his best friend's sister, and he really shouldn't fuck her.

But he really wants to.

And it's not just because she's gorgeous. It's her light smile, the way she laughs, and her eyes… Sigrid has the bluest ocean eyes Finan just wants to get lost in.

He's trying not to focus on the fact that they've basically set him up. Giving Finan the room with a single bed and single women.

At least… he thought she was?

"Osferth," Finan leans over the kitchen island so he can quietly ask his questions to his friend, "Sigrid isn't… taken, is she?"

"Why? Sharing a room seeming less terrifying and more interesting?" Osferth questions with a smirk of his own and Finan snacks the side of his head.

"I'm just asking, I don't want to make her uncomfortable," Finan tells him, hoping his excuse doesn't make him seem too pathetic.

"Just keep your pants on and you shouldn't have a problem," Uhtred laughs as he enters the kitchen with two empty cups in his hand.

"Where's Sihtric?" Osferth asks as Uhtred joins them at the island.

"I think he's gone to consummate his wedding a touch early," Uhtred laughs and the other two men roll their eyes.

"How are the women?" Finan asks, more curious about Sigrid than the rest of them...

"Gisela is tired, and Eadith may need help getting to her bed," Uhtred answers, looking directly at Osferth as he brings up his girlfriend.

"That's my cue then," Osferth chuckles, "Goodnight, gentlemen."

Finan and Uhtred wave goodnight as Osferth walks away, and when Finan looks at Uhtred he has a devious smile on his face, "What?"

"Sigrid has already headed to bed if you wish to join her," Uhtred tells Finan with a raised brow.

Finan rolls his eyes as he wipes his hands across his face, "Uhtred-"

"Your secret is safe with me," Uhtred laughs as he raises his hands in the air.

"And what secret is that?" Gisela questions as she enters the room.

"There is no secret, Gisela, I think your husband is drunk," Finan tells the women and Uhtred laughs again.

"If you want to fuck her just go ahead and do it, no one will tell Sihtric," Uhtred tells him, and Finan groans as Gisela hits her husband.

"Uhtred!"

"She's your cousin…"

"I'm not the one who wants to fuck her," Uhtred tells them in his own defense, "And besides, if you do decide you don't like her then Sigrid goes back to New York and you never see her again."

Gisela sighs heavily, disappointed with her husband, "Uhtred, you are awful."

"I am brutally honest, it's a gift," Uhtred shrugs as he pulls his wife close, "And you married me, remember?"

Gisela rolls her eyes and smirks his way, "Unfortunately, I do, and we should get to bed."

Uhtred raises a brow with interest, and immediately starts to pull his wife away, "Goodnight, Finan."

"Goodnight," Finan tells them as he's left alone in the kitchen. Now that he is alone, he sighs, and then makes his way to the main living room.

The room is empty now, with everyone going to their respective rooms. He can very well go upstairs, grab his things and then sleep on the couch. They look like they'd be unbearable to sleep on, but it would be better than attempting to share a room with Sigrid. It's the smarter choice, he tells himself as he heads upstairs to get his things.

There is no way he'll survive a night alone with that woman.

————————————<3—————————————

Part of Sigrid is grateful she went upstairs first, she was able to change into a comfortable pair of joggers, a baggy shirt, and a sports bra. She thought about forgoing the bra altogether, but she's a bigger chested girl and her back wouldn't be happy with that.

So instead, she chooses to go without her underwear.

But now she's alone for a while now, and part of her wonders if Finan is alone on the couch trying to sleep. She can't imagine they're any more comfortable to sleep on than they were to sit on, and starts to feel bad for claiming the room for herself.

Sigrid even feels bad enough to gather some of the extra blankets and pillows in the room and go to the door and bring them downstairs to Finan, but he's standing right there when she opens the door.

"Oh," Sigrid smiles shyly at the sight of him, "Hey, I was just going to-"

"I- I just came up here for my stuff," He stutters with a smile and after a moment or two they both chuckle.

Sigrid and Finan stare at each other for a few moments before she finally tells him, "Come in, it's your room too after all."

"I shouldn't stay," Finan tells her with a soft voice.

He's sweet and definitely not as forward as most of the men Sigrid has encountered in her life. It's a nice change of pace, to do the chasing instead of being chased.

"What If I want you to stay," Sigrid smiles, throwing the pillow in her hand back into the room, which frees her hand to take Finan's, "There's space in here for the both of us."

————————————<3—————————————

There's space in here for the both of us.

Finan swallows hard as Sigrid takes his hand and pulls him into the room, dropping the spare blankets she once held onto the floor. This must be a dream. Perhaps he's already asleep on the couch because there's no way this woman is leading him across the room towards the bed. She can't possibly be unbuttoning his shirt, agonizingly slow, working each button slowly with soft fingers.

He wants to devour this woman whole.

"Sigrid," He calls her name and she hums in response as she focuses on finishing his shirt, "What are you doing?"

"You can't sleep in this shirt, you'll get it wrinkled," She tells Finan softly, a smile on her face as her eyes keep on the buttons. As she undoes the last one Sigrid finally looks up, her eyes following her fingers up his chest and to his shoulders.

She's feeling him up as she slides the button-up shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, letting it drop to the floor. The shirt hits the floor with a soft thump, and Sigrid looks up, "Is this fine?"

"Is this fine for you?" Finan has to ask because he still isn't sure whether or not this is a dream, "You don't have to do any of this."

Sigrid smirks with her head at a tilt, "So you don't want me?"

"I just… don't usually sleep with strangers," Finan tells her as Sigrid's hands find his chest again, "Especially not my best friend's sisters."

"I hope not," Sigrid tells him as her fingers move down his chest, and he wonders if she can feel how hard his heart is pumping, "Thyra is married."

"You know what I mean, Sigrid," Finan tells her and she looks up again and smiles. One of his hands involuntarily moves up to touch her face, moving from her jaw to the back of her neck, "I just have to make sure you want this."

She nods, her eyes focusing on his lips, "You should've taken me in the bathroom."

"If I'm going to take care of you, it'll be on the bed," Finan tells her as he leans down, pulling her towards him as her eyes start to flutter shut in anticipation of his lips, "And I plan on taking excellent care of you."

First thing Finan notices when he kisses her is that Sigrid tastes like sweet alcohol and fruit. The second thing he notices is that he feels like a starved man getting sustenance for the first time. Her mouth is paradise, and he's only just started to uncover her.

His free hand moves to Sigrid's waist, pulling her closer until they are flushed together and she must feel how hard he is because she's grinding herself against the hardness in his pants.

The kissing gets more frantic, with tongues colliding and at one point Finan can feel Sigrid's teeth scraping against his bottom lip and it's intoxicating.

Both hands find their way down to Sigrid's waist and onto her ass, and with a tight grip, Finan lifts Sigrid into the air and brings her to the bed without once breaking the kiss. Not until he lowers her down, only then does Sigrid break the kiss to speak.

"Clothes… off," She whispers into his mouth as her hands find his waistline, trying to fumble with his belt, "Now."

Finan rises up for a moment to take off his shirt, pulling in up and over his head I'm one motion. Meanwhile, Sigrid has undone his belt and to speed things along Finan manages to take off the rest, leaving him in nothing but his boxers as he returns to however over Sigrid.

His hands move to her waist lifting up the shirt she's wearing up as they ride up her chest. Sigrid helps him lift it off her by raising her hands up as Finan pulls off her shirt. She smiles now as Finan goes for her pants pulling them down slowly to reveal the fact that she's gone without underwear.

Finan groans as the pants go lower, "Good Christ, woman." The pants are off and Sigrid moves quickly to remove her bra and now she's completely naked under him, and it's absolutely breathtaking, "You are goin' to ruin me."

Sigrid is smirking as he lowers himself down her body to get better access to her lower half, lifting her legs over his shoulder, as he mutters her praise's in Irish, and just as his tongue runs against her cunt that smirk fades into a gasp and a moan.

He's grateful Sigrid cannot see the cheeky grin on her face, from where his head is hidden between her legs, working her with his tongue like a man starved. She must like what he's doing because her legs wrap around his head and neck to pull him closer, and he can feel a hand find its way into his hair, pulling hard.

"Fuck, Finan," He hears her moan, trying not to be too loud by the sound of it, "Fuck…" Sigrid cums with a gasp, loosening the grip on his neck with her legs so that Finan can come up to air, returning to mouth so that he can kiss her and hard.

"You taste like heaven," Finan tells her, the words just slipping through his lips like he has no control, "I could spend the rest of my days between your legs and die happy."

"Then how would I know what your cock feels like?" Sigrid questions him with a raised brow as reaches a hand down to grab him through his boxers, "Take these off and fuck me."

Finan does what he's told, using one hand to pull his boxers down his legs and then kicking them the rest of the way off so he can continue to kiss Sigrid. Once they are gone, he goes to align his cock with her folds and remembers something very important, "Shit, condom-"

"UDI," She tells him as she breaks the kiss, "So if you're clean-"

"I am," Finan nods as he kisses her again and starts slowly pushing his way inside Sigrid. Her mouth opens to a gasp as he thrusts his way in, given another inch every time he returns until he's all the way in, "Fuckin' Christ, woman."

Sigrid wraps her legs around his waist as Finan continues to fuck her, his arms secure at either side of her head, as she wraps her fingers around his neck to hold herself steady against him. Foreheads touching because neither of them can seem to concentrate on kissing the other.

It's greater than paradise being tangled like this. With Sigrid.

It's home, and he never wants to leave.

He's getting close, Finan can tell because his breathing has started to shutter and he's groaning, so Sigrid lifts herself up to kiss him again to keep them both silent. A thrust or two more is all it takes and he finishes inside her, continuing to move just a bit more until he's sure he's given her everything he has to give.

Finan's arms collapse and Sigrid brings him down gently so that he's resting in her chest. They are both panting, and he can feel her fingers running through his hair and it feels incredible.

So he has no idea why he says, "I should probably go back downstairs."

"Leave this bed and I'll kick your pretty Irish ass," Sigrid tells him with a calm voice and when he glances up she's smiling.

"You think my ass is pretty?" Finan smirks and Sigrid laughs as he wraps his arms around her body and holds her close.

It looks like Finan isn't going anywhere.

Which is exactly what he wanted.

————————————<3—————————————

Sigrid wants to say she wakes up the morning after the best sex of her life to the face of the extremely attractive Irishman in her bed, but she doesn't.

Instead, she wakes up to Ealhswith looking directly at her with a smile on her face and her hand over Sigrid's mouth.

"Shush, I've come to sneak you out," Ealhswith whispers terribly with a giggle, holding a robe up with her other hand, "Come on, your brother is still sleeping!"

Sigrid takes the robe from her hands and Ealhswith closes her eyes as she covers her naked body, taking a moment to glance back at Finan. He's still fast asleep, and she desperately wishes she can stay in bed with him.

"Come on, Sigrid, you can stare at him later!" Ealhswith yell-whispers again, as she pulls Sigrid out of the room.

Once the door closes behind her, Sigrid glances at Ealhswith who has a big smile on her face, and raises a brow, "Ealhswith?"

"Yes?" She smiles wide, looking up to no good.

Sigrid crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her head, "You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"I did," Ealhswith chuckles as she pushes her along, "And all I ask for in return is to be the best man at your wedding.'

Sigrid laughs at Ealhswith's request as she gets pushed away.

Yet a year later, when Sigrid finds herself walking down the aisle in a white dress with Finan waiting for her at the other end, waiting next to where she will stand is Ealhswith in her best man's tux and a wide smile on her face.

#there was only one bed #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #the last kingdom #tlk #finan x oc #smut #tlk sihtric #tlk osferth #tlk finan #tlk oc #tlk ealhswith #mcloveproductions

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