#which YOU would know if you had any spells worth more than one cantrip!!!!

[thelongestway]

someone probably already has this video on this website but

this would make for an extremely good alarm clock

[dragons-clause]

The Dragon's Clause

Sabo x Fem Reader CW: Forced marriage, intrigue, character death, fantasy violence, blood, magic, language, smut, 18+ mdni

Tag List: @mfreedomstuff @manachiichan

Chapter 12: Two Weeks

The next day, after Koala helped you get dressed and off to breakfast, the staff went to work. Your things were moved from the guest room to your current space, and it was brought up to date over the next couple of days. It was more than you needed, but Hack seemed fairly insistent that it happen, apologizing for any inconvenience it caused.

Since you weren’t spending much time in your room aside from sleeping, it wasn’t really a bother to you at all. Early mornings were spent sparring, Koala helped you bathe and change, and then your afternoons were spent working on melding your magic with your sword.

You did so, for now, within the confines of a reinforced underground training area. It also served as a place to imprison people, but Hack assured you that the Duke hadn’t played host to any uninvited guests since he had first become the Duke. But both the small training area and the adjoining cells were made of magic-canceling seastone.

It kept even the most powerful contained if needed, and more than that if your own magic got away from you, both you and the estate would be safe. Since the seastone would negate the spells, and not just rebound or absorb them.

Magic was, unfortunately, something you did not have much practice in. You knew loads of cantrips, as any noble would, and you knew a fairly decent number of advanced spells, but once your father was gone, so were your lessons. You hadn’t been barred from using magic, but you kept it under wraps almost as much as your swordplay, only showing a passing interest in it.

Powerful people stood out, and people who stood out where often seen as a threat. Being competent or being strong were often left well enough alone on their own, but the combination was a quick way to a bad end if you didn’t have power enough to back it up.

Now you did.

The Duke’s acceptance of you was still shaky at best. You couldn’t trust him implicitly, and you wouldn’t have expected such in return as yet either. You were sure it was at least part of why you were doing your training by yourself in a place isolated. If he deemed it necessary to stop your progress he could without any public backlash, but also it protected you.

If someone had sent that swordsman to kill you when they thought you were powerless, their efforts may redouble if there was news of you trying to become a Sword or Guardian. You wouldn’t be an unconquerable threat until you were a Grandmaster - at least, save from anyone not also on that level.

Lulusia had none, your father had been the last and none have come to pass since. Goa has one, and it’s probably the primary reason why the Duke was still alive at this point. He’d passed into the category a mere year before coming of age, making him one of the youngest to reach such a point.

Germa had a few, as did Alabasta. You weren’t sure about Wano, but Ilisia had three. There was no way to know how many the Empire had, even just the Nusjiro portion of it that existed on this continent. Though the Dawn Kingdom had almost an entire troop’s worth, they were spread out among the many contingents of border guard groups that existed. It was hard to say why their borders were so severely tested compared to any other kingdom, but they fared well.

A day turned into a week, and between the easy routine of your training, you fell into a comfortable groove with the rest of the estate. Breakfast and dinner with the Duke during which you would speak about your progress or any issues you were having and he’d offer what advice he could. Morning training before breakfast where you spent time instructing the Duke’s estate guards and picked up some of their sword forms as well.

You and the Duke began having tea together as well, since his work load had lessened over the week. During those moments you would talk mostly about the preparations for the engagement party. After the pressing details were taken care of, he took time to tell you about the relationships he had with some of the people who were going to be there.

“As I’m sure you’re already aware, the relationship between my parents and I is strained.” He explains, sitting across from you in the tea room. Two weeks had passed, but the distance between you had remained unchanged. It was not uncomfortable, but while he didn’t seem repulsed by you, he had a tendency to give you more than ample space. “I doubt they’ll even deign to show since the event will be held here and not in the capital. Sterry may arrive, if only to keep up appearances, and even then mostly just to excuse the absence of our parents.”

The smile on his face is somber, his expression apologetic. “Most of the nobility from Goa who arrive will likely express their condolences. I wouldn’t take it as a personal attack-.”

“Why not?” You interject. Irritation is already creasing your brows, that attendees would be disrespectful to the Duke in his own home. “Have the invitations already gone out?”

“… Not as yet. Hack is finalizing the message.”

“I would like a dress code to be requested then.”

“One is in place.”

“Does it bar people from dressing in funeral attire?”

He smiles. “Not directly, no.”

You breathe in, letting the breath out slowly and calming yourself. “I would like such to be added. We’re getting engaged, not dying, it’s also my debut.” You pause for a moment, considering things. “How much trouble would it cause if I slapped someone?”

“Far less if you could refrain from doing so until after the wedding, my lady.” He answers, a laugh in his voice. “Though it would be well within your rights to have someone removed from the hall. Perhaps not Sterry, but anyone else, certainly.”

“Very well. My apologies for the interruption, who else are we expecting?”

“The Crown Prince from the Dawn Kingdom, and his younger brother will likely be in attendance. The King of Germa is a possibility, but it depends. The notice is short and he’s still stabilizing his kingdom after the war. I’m quite certain him and the Queen of Alabasta will be in attendance for the wedding, however. Representatives from the Queendom Kingdom will be in attendance for both I’m sure. I’ve yet to see them turn down an invitation to anything.

“My relationship with all of them is positive, so you needn’t worry about their behavior for the most part.”

“… For the most part?” You prompt, brow raised in curiosity.

The Duke clears his throat, hiding his expression behind the teacup for a moment before he answers you. “The Crown Prince of the Dawn kingdom, and his younger brother, are… exceptionally honest. Perhaps a little prone to escalating things into physical altercations, but their intentions are not malicious.”

“They’re protective of you?”

Sabo’s smile is genuine and warm, and for a moment he looks even more handsome than he had before. “In a word, yes. We tend to look out for one another.”

“I think I remember reading that the three of you attended academy together in Germa.” You admit. “I shall keep that in mind then.”

He nods. “Thank you.” A knock at the door draws his attention and he turns as Hack enters the room.

“Pardon me, but invitations are complete, your grace.”

“Ah, my apologies Hack, it seems we’ll need to adjust them.” The Duke replies, giving you a grin before turning back to the Butler. “The Lady Lulusia has expressed a desire to ensure people understand this is a happy occasion. It is her debut as well, and none should arrive dressed in a somber manner.”

“Not just because of that.” You say, getting both gazes directed at you. “None should be allowed to insult the Duke in his own home during a celebration he is hosting. I will not tolerate it.”

They both regard you for a second, eyes wide before they compose themselves. Hack looks to the Duke, and the Duke turns and looks at Hack.

“You heard the lady.” He says, amusement in his tone.

“Indeed. I shall make the appropriate adjustments and have the finalized items on your desk this evening.” Hack explains, bowing before leaving the two of you to your tea again.

“I must take my leave for now as well. I hope to get ahead of my work before the next expedition, as I’m sure one will be requested before the party.”

“If… If there’s anything I can assist with, I would like to help.” You manage to say. “I realize I’m not a trusted employee, but I am educated.”

He pauses, considering for a moment. “If you’re comfortable working with me in my office, I won’t turn down the offer, my lady. Household bookkeeping is often in the hands of the Lady of the house, but I wasn’t going to foist such work into your lap until after the engagement party at least.

“Only because I wanted you to have ample time to adjust,” he adds hastily. “But it seems such time has already been sufficient, and the help will be welcome.”

“I imagine requesting that I go on the next expedition with you won’t be met so positively.” You say, a smile on your face and a teasing tone in your words as the two of you exit the tea room.

“We shall see, my lady.” He says as you walk down the hall. “I do need an aide-de-camp, but you might have to fight Koala for the position.”

“Considering my sudden appearance pulled her from the last expedition, perhaps I could show her mercy.” You admit with a grin. “It has been a few years since I was on an expedition, I can wait a few months longer. I think I’d prefer to go as a Sword or Guardian than as a personal assistant.”

“I did not take you for someone who would’ve been satisfied staying in the camp.” He agrees, opening the door to his office and allowing you to step in ahead of him. “If you were anything like Luffy, I would be concerned about you sneaking off to the border in the middle of the night. The need to slake your curiosity so undeniable.”

“Luffy?”

“Ah, my apologies. Luffy D’Majom, Dawn Son of his kingdom. Portgas Ace, now Ace D’Majom, Dawn Heir is his elder brother.” He clarifies. “Luffy has a tendency to act first and second, and on rare occasions think thirdly. It played a role in Ace being crowned instead. He means well,” he says, seeing the concern on your face. “He’s not made for politics, but he’s an outstanding border knight.

“If his advanced magic gets anymore advanced, he may be able to push the Dawn border significantly further north.”

“That’s high praise, your grace.”

“It’s deserved.” He assures you with a smile. “With a solid treaty between Goa and Dawn, we could see our borders pushed north as well. Lulusia may be able to recover territory also, or at least benefit from the higher demand of quartz and sapphires needed for purifying some of the monster hides and bones.”

“Good tidings for all involved.” You agree. “Increase in trade along the northern kingdoms will impact lands to the south and in turn bring more commerce from there to the north. In the end the entire continent could see a boon from a single event.”

“Indeed.” He sets some papers on what appears will be your desk for now. “Your first task will be to double check my work. Usually Hack or Koala would, but since you so graciously volunteered.”

You smile, seating yourself in the chair offered by the Duke. “Accuracy of numbers is most important, but if you notice anything else, don’t hesitate to mark it.”

Letting your grin turn devious you raise your chin a little in haughtiness. “I shall be ruthless and exacting, your grace.” You promise, turning to the work laid out before you. “I’m sure I’ll find some manner of flaw.”

“The Lady Lulusia thinks me flawless?” Sabo muses, playful mischievousness dripping from his tone as he sits at his desk.

“At the risk of adding to your ego, your grace, yes.” You answer as flatly as you can manage, eyes staying on the work in front of you. “Your sword style is different, but there’s no wasted movement. Even your estate guards have few true openings, and their training is far from complete. That intruder from two weeks ago, most likely wished to complete his mission before you returned home, but the defenses of the estate delayed him until you could arrive. Your employees are competent and well compensated, and you’re the most handsome noble I’ve ever met.”

“I -.” He stammers, cutting himself off, and you can’t help the small smile that graces your lips.

“Worry not, your grace, I’ve not yet met very many nobles.” You tease, and you both hear Koala on the other side of the office doors fail to stifle a laugh.

[utilitycaster]

Skill Proficiencies are the Bedrock on Which the Success of a D&D Party Rests, Monks are  a Utility Class, and Other Correct Opinions

This came up when I was thinking about the Cobalt Soul subclass and the discussion thereof, especially the dismissive way in which people sometimes treat the mystical erudition feature. I am also a bard player, in my longest-running game, and I prefer utility classes in general, so I decided to write a whole essay that maybe like 5 people will appreciate, two of whom are in my inbox (thanks for the encouragement, @ayzenigma and @agigabyte and one of whom is me.

In D&D, on a fundamental level, this is what happens:

A DM describes the world

You decide to interact with the world in some way

The DM decides if you automatically can do what you want, if you automatically can’t do what you want, or if there are a range of possible outcomes. If the last option, roll a d20.

The DM narrates what happens when you act or fail to act, ie, describes the new state of the world; the cycle begins anew.

The vast majority of those d20 rolls will be skill checks. Some will be combat rolls, which are a whole other thing, but most will be skill checks. Some will be incredibly important skill checks. Some will be relatively minor. Sometimes you’ll be aware of how important the roll is; sometimes you will not. Spells can sometimes guarantee or improve the chances of a success, as can some class abilities; but those are finite resources, and in the end a lot of D&D is resource management, and many of the choices you make in interaction are going to be influenced by what resources you have left.

Consider: the party comes upon a door with a single lock. The party is D&D four-person-party classic: a mage archetype, a thief archetype, a healer archetype, and a strength-based battler archetype.

The mage can cast knock to open the door. This does guarantee success, but it’s extremely loud and will not only alert anyone nearby but also uses a second level spell slot. They may be able to get around this if they or the healer also casts silence, depending on how you play it*, but that’s either another spell slot gone, or ten minutes wasted.

The battler can, for free, either kick down the door or attack it. This is also going to be very loud unless silence is employed, they might choose to use a finite resource (a once a day weapon ability, a rage) and even if this itself doesn’t alert anyone on its own, the big hole where a door should have been, or even the smashed keyhole, probably will.

The thief can, for free, pick the lock. Assuming they are specifically a rogue, because of their class build there is a very high chance of success, and specifically a high chance of quick, quiet, secret success even without additional help. And if they fail, well, the other options still exist and only a small amount of time has been lost.

Things like a single rage, or a second level spell slot, don’t seem like much on their own, but that is the other thing about D&D: usually you go to bed with some things left in the tank, but occasionally you do not, and as the resources get into the red line it is not terribly difficult to get into a death spiral of throwing your limited resources at a problem too large to be solved by them. When you’re in a game where, mechanically, there is no difference between having 100 hit points left and having 1 hit point left, but there is a vast chasm between having 1 left and having none, that extra second level slot worth of healing or damage can mean everything.

Or: at levels 5 through 8, with a cleric, the difference between an ally’s life and potentially permanent death is whether the cleric is left standing with one third level spell slot at the end of a battle.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t use spell slots to achieve things, especially if they’re important; just that there’s a balance, and sometimes a single good thieves’ tools check, investigation check, or persuasion check makes just as much of a difference in terms of the party’s success as a high level spell, even though it’s far less flashy.

The game designers realize this. Older versions had the idea of taking ten: if time is not of the essence and there is no significant penalty for failure, you could take ten and guarantee an average job (which does still require some skill proficiency to take that assumed roll of ten to “pretty good”). This still remains in 5e in the form of passive checks. It’s a core element of the rogue and bard classes that they are people who are highly skilled - both have more skills than most classes and access to expertise, which significantly increases their proficiency bonuses and therefore reduces the chance of failure - and both have additional class features that either improve the breadth (jack of all trades for bards granting them partial proficiency in everything) or depth (reliable talent for rogues granting them a guaranteed average job) of those skills. Frequently, and especially for bards, this is not seen as a significant help, possibly because it rarely comes up in combat. This is wrong.

Here’s the thing: combat takes a long time at the table but in terms of what the party is doing, two minutes of combat a day (20 rounds, total) would be considered an incredibly difficult day. The rest of the time, you’re not in combat.

Here’s the other thing: how did that combat happen? Did it happen because someone failed a check - that a better stealth roll or deception check, perhaps made by someone with expertise in one of those two areas, could have prevented? Or if this conflict was inevitable or necessary, was the party able to use that stealth or deception to get a surprise round? Investigation, nature, arcana, or history to know a little bit more in advance about what they’re about to face? Perception or survival to even find the enemy they need to stop? Persuasion to gain an ally? All of these can make the difference between a success and a failure.

When you come to the end of a long-running D&D game, you will probably think back a lot to combat moments and RP moments, and unless it was one of those few clutch ability checks where you knew how momentous it was at the time you probably won’t think back to the dozens of locks picked without issue, or social encounters navigated with relative ease, but they’re going to be there, and you would have felt the strain without them.

This isn’t limited to skill checks, honestly; it’s a problem with almost all so-called fluff/flavor abilities. It’s interesting, in that the words we use to describe a well-built character are themselves quite neutral in terms of the specific build (min-maxed, optimized) but in practice many people assume these fit into one of two categories: the tank, or the glass cannon. Of course, those are combat-specific abilities, and see above with regards to combat. And maybe you are in a D&D game that is very much about combat and combat only, but if you’re not, that so-called fluff is far too dismissive of utility.

And monks, in particular, are more of a utility class than one would expect. Sure, they get a lot of attacks and they’re sort of tanks of the ‘too fast to hit’ variety and they can stun, but monks are utility in a negative-space sort of way.They don’t need your buffs, and a monk in your party, like a rogue who can pick locks or a bard who can talk their way out of trouble, saves your resources. They are incredibly fast, and don’t need longstrider or jump cast on them. They don’t need feather fall or fly because they run up walls and avoid falling damage. They don’t need to be healed, if they just catch the arrows that were shot and evade the area of effect spell; they don’t need a magic weapon (or any weapon); they don’t need a restoration to end effects, they don’t need protection from poison or disease, they save you the need to cast comprehend languages or tongues, they’re less likely to need a buff to help them save against other effects, eventually they don’t even need food or water. A monk, like a skill check, helps the party by saving finite resources. The Cobalt Soul build merely makes it a little more literal by granting the monk themselves the ability to make those skill checks.

In conclusion: skill checks are cantrips that everyone gets, and if a class got 8 cantrips when most others got 4, and they had an extra bonus to hit, you’d absolutely notice.

*per a quick search it’s up for debate based on the ranges of the respective spells and whether the lock needs to ‘hear’ the spell or not and anyway if this is what you choose to fixate on in this essay I cannot stress this enough: you have the reading comprehension of a slime mold and the sense of relevance of a Republican congressperson.

[inventors-fair]

From Text to Title Commentary

This contest went a little haywire, and I’m not super certain why.

The basics of this contest were simple: make a card based on a mechanic. I said mechanic instead of ability or keyword because some stuff isn’t quite either. Devotion and Party are just sort of counting tools, and ability words aren’t even rules text. But some people took it a very strange direction. I thought it was pretty clear what counted, and there were plenty of things that very obviously counted, but people just kept asking about other things. While I understand that that is part of the brainstorming process, and you might come up with a cool idea and then not know if it works or not, I really wish you would have just assumed the answer was no and work on something you know would have counted. Why make a card called “Hybrid Mana” when you could just make a card out of any of the dozens of existing mechanics? It felt like you were trying to be unique at best, and purposely trying to mess with me at worst. But how uniquely you answer the prompt isn't important. What’s more important is that the card itself is good, or even clever. The prompt are just that: prompts. I am not challenging you to answer the prompt most creatively, I’m asking you to make a creative card that fits within the prompt. That was the important part.

Which gets me to the next thing. I specifically didn’t want players using the ability on the card. Part of that was just because it would be too easy, but part of that was because I wanted to see you guys get creative. What are some other ways to represent trampling? What else can life be linked to? I didn’t want to say that they could have nothing to do with it, because that’s hard. Would a metalcraft card that mentions artifacts at all count? But I think the point was still clear: I wanted to see cards that had nothing to do with their originator. Sadly, I got a lot of those. Some spelled out the ability. A lot were enablers: a bloodthirst card that dealt damage once a turn for creatures, a card named constellation that makes enchantment tokens, etc. I really wanted to see stuff completely different, and I don’t think I got that across. For that, I apologize. I should have been clearer about that, or put it in the mandatory section instead of the encouraged section.

Sorry for the downer. This was a rough week. Hopefully my commentary form here on out doesn’t sound too bitter. But here it is:

@azathoth-the-bored​ - Decayed

So while I specifically said that you’re not allowed to use the mechanic on the card, I also said I didn’t want you to just spell it out, as you did here. This gives the enchanted creature decayed, just not literally. If you had removed that and just had the last ability, I think this maybe would have been a fine uncommon as a slow removal spell.

@bread-into-toast​ - Daybound

Alright, you got me. Technically, this does not have the ability daybound. It just interacts with the day and night cycle, just like daybound does. While that’s allowed, it’s not really what I was asking for. I wanted to see a new interpretation of the ability, completely unconstrained from the originator. So, faire-wise, I’m disappointed with it. As for the card itself, I think it coils use work. The fact that it can’t transform no matter what feels like a strange restriction. A lot of the creatures are better on their night side, including abilities, so you might end up sealing a creature on their more powerful side, and when it turns to day, they will end up buffing their team better, even though they can’t attack. If you seal them on their day side, then they just attack worse at night, which I guess is fine. The fact that it can hit planeswalkers is just so weird. There’s only about 10 planeswalkers that can attack, only 2 that can transform, and only 1 that does both. Why even put it on there? It’s just going to confuse players who might expect it to stop them from activating. If it just said “permanent” I’d be fine, because then it could hit Westvale Abbey, or Poppet Factory, stuff where the transforming is a bigger deal than the attacking. What you ended up with is a card that is just trying too hard to fit a very specific role, and I think you’re worse off for it.

@decayingbooks​ - Fortify

I don’t think this card is as good as you think this is. I do like that it can be used defensively and “offensively,” but both of those options aren’t particularly good. If you target yourself, that’s a very small amount of benefit for four mana. To Arms does the same thing for two mana and draws you a card. If you target your opponent, it’s a fog that leaves your opponents creatures untapped. The utility of a card that does both is not worth the mana cost. This card could be one mana, and I still don’t know how often it would be played. I love the flavor though, and it’s a good way to make a card using the name fortify. NOTE: I wrote that all before you updated your submission to change it to a sorcery. Yes, it makes more sense, but it loses half of its utility, and becomes a far worse card. I think you needed to look at cards that already exist to get an idea for how to cost your cards or what players would want to play. Flavor is good, but it’s more important to make a well-designed card.

@deg99 - Dethrone

This card has a lot going on, and I think you could have toned it down a touch. The center ability is the main thing here: kill something and its controller loses life. A time-old tradition, and probably fitting at 5 mana. The fact that it gets super cheap targeting something the monarch owns is also cool! It fits the theme, and now you get their best blocker out of the way, amking it even easier to get the monarchy from them! Except then you become the monarch anyway. I think the top and bottom ability are detracting from each other. The top part punishes a player for sitting on the monarchy by making it easier for you to target them, which is good! The bottom part is just sort of insult to injury. It removes the coolest part about the monarch: the interaction among players. Most cards that grant monarchy in some way protect you, giving your opponents something they have to team up to fight through. This one sort of protects you, but is clearly made to be more aggressive, which doesn’t work well with the monarchy mechanic. Lastly, the flavor text I think kind of goes against the rest of the card. Regicide kills a creature, despite in theory killing a king. Queen Marchesa makes you the monarch, even though she is technically one. When I read this card without flavor text,I completely understood that I was killing a monarch, then becoming one. The flavor text muddies that by claming the thing you killed isn’t the monarch, and while that is technically true, it doesn’t match the flavor as well.

@demimonde-semigoddess​ - Escalate

What a weird little card! The name fits the first ability, that’s for sure. At first I wasn’t sure if that was just worse than a copy spell, but the second ability changes that for sure. It goes from a weird combo card to something you can just sort of play for free that maybe has a bonus bit of text. While I get the desire there, since it feels bad to have such a narrow card, I think the player playing this card WANTS it to be bad. If you see this card as a johnny or a timmy, you think of how cool that first ability is and just kind of ignore the last part. Other players will play it as just a normal tormenting voice with maybe some utility if you happen to have an X somewhere. The fact that there’s two completely different abilities means I can’t figure out which is the reason to play this and which is the extra part. That first ability does have some issues in and of itself, though. I don’t like that it’s a flat bonus. I wish it either doubled or reduced the cost or added mana. Currently, you can just cast a spell with X=0 and get three free bonus out of it. While that is sort of the point of this card, it’s freeness is a little scary. Mostly when you get to things with multiple Xs. This lets you deal 15 damage for two mana with Crackle with Power, or make a bunch of hydras with Hydra Broodmaster for 1 mana. If this card was more clearly focused on the X part, maybe just being a cantrip at one mana, I think I’d be more okay with it. If it doubled X, then at least you’d have to sink something into it. Also, I’m not sure if it’s just a typo, but so far as I know, this works with X costs that are not mana. I believe that it would affect cards like Chatterfang and Storage Lands, which could cause some problems. I also don’t know if it would affect things like Devastating Summons or Firecat Blitz’s flashback, where there’s an X in the cost, sort of. Last thing I’ll point out is you don’t need to phrase it like you did. Unbound Flourishing does almost exactly what you want, just with doubling instead of adding, but it still makes it clear you can change X with the spell or ability on the stack, not “as it resolves.” Sorry if I sound harsh, I just wish you would have committed to this being a combo card so it would feel like a fair trade-off for the amount of power it offered, or that you reduced its impact so that the X part can feel more like a bonus than the focus.

@dimestoretajic​ - Living Weapon

This is a strange one. First, it’s got a triple colorless mana cost. We’ve never seen a card with one of those, even 2 is reserved only for a 10 mana spell, therefore being only a fifth of its cost. But I can see why, mostly. Artifact creatures can be dumped onto the board extremely quickly, so you want a fairly restrictive cost. Even so, it being such a small creature kind of makes the restrictive cost feel even less worth it. You really need a board of creatures in play for this to be good, and it’s hard to know if this is ever better than just a chief of the foundry, who pumps toughness as well and is always castable. In eternal formats, though, this card could be a beast. The legendary clause is kind of what holds it back there, though. Again, you normally want to dump your hand, so the fact that you can’t play two of these if you have them in hand is a bit aggravating. Lastly, there’s that tap ability. Why is it there? Thematically it doesn’t seem to fit at all with the concept of a living weapon. Mechanically, it doesn’t seem to fit with the type of deck you’d want to pay this in. If you want to give your entire board of creatures double strike, you’re usually doing it because you have a lot of small creatures that want to attack. Having to tap them and him for mana goes against that strategy, and what are you even casting with that mana in a deck like that? The other thing it does is give a spell or two pseudo-affinity, which just seems unnecessary. Would a deck play this for just that ability and ignore the double-strike stuff? It all just seems so odd.Still, this is one of the better entries this week. It’s got some issues, but I like how it knows exactly what it’s here for and is very good at it, as well as working with the name. It’s just tacking a bit too much on top of that.

@fractured-infinity​ - Constellation

I think you’re overestimating this card. This is a 5 mana card that requires an extra three mana to do anything. Yes, it doubles itself every turn, but those copies don’t do anything other than trigger constellation. That’s good in a constellation deck, but this is a card that’s ONLY good in a constellation deck. If I play this and survive three turns and have 8 of these in play, there’s no way I’ll be able to activate them reasonably effectively. The flavor of this card is also tied too closely to the mechanic. None of this quite feels space like, or like I’m connecting things like constellations connect stars. I would suggest trying to find some other way to make it useful without the ability, or limit the number of tokens it makes but make the whole card cheaper. Right now it’s just too narrow and hard to use, and even the deck that wants it may be dead by the time it really starts being useful.

@ghoulcalculator64 - Banding

Ah, I see. It’s a rubber band joke. Fair enough. I think this card is not good. Four mana is a lot for this small of an effect. Yes, icy manipulator is a famously strong card, but Pacification array was not (though it had a lot of utility because of improvise being in the set). Two mana to tap each turn is a lot, and the fact that this doesn’t have a body like Fan Bearer or Gavony Trapper is a heavy cost already. I think you needed to do a little more research into what other cards of this type existed when making this.

@gollumni​ - Grandeur

Well this is a bit of a dud. It’s very hard to find a good way to use this card. It’s a fog, but what isn’t? It lets you get in one hit with one creature for sure, but at the cost of not getting to hit with anything else, and not being able to block anything for a while. The exact templating of this card has some minor issue, but I do want to point out you were clever not to make it target, so they can’t kill the targetted creature in response. Instead, you choose upon resolution. It’s a bit of a shame you HAVE to choose something, meaning you can’t just use this as a fog when you’ve got nothing in play, but maybe that’s for the best. Better to avoid turbo-fog making a resurgence. The last sentence also sounds a little off. Looking at Duneblast, I might just say “tap the rest.” I also really wish there were some way to not make this rare, but this would probably be an annoyance even at uncommon, so maybe it’s necessary.

@helloijustreadyourpost​ - Fateseal

Cool idea, execution is a bit off. One mana removal spells, even slow ones like this, are probably too good, especially at common. I could maybe see a card like this being pushed in a set where they really want playable enchantments, like a set with delirium or constellation. I know the big downside is that they still get a chance to swing with the creature before it dies, but I don’t think that offsets the massive upside of being an unconditional one mana kill spell. Conceptually, I like it. It’s definitely the complexity level of an uncommon, and the flavor is spot on. I think the fact that it triggers on your upkeep is mechanically a good idea, but a little awkward because a lot of people will assume it cares about the creature’s controller’s upkeep, like most similar cards. That’s not really on you, though, and if the rest of the set doesn’t do that, it’s fine. I could almost see changing it to grant the creature “sac this in your end step” instead. However, if the set has death synergies, that might matter, too. I guess this card is hard to judge because I could see it doing a lot of work in a theoretical set, but outside of any set, it’s just way too good. I like it, though, and it’s a great fit for this week, it’s just too strong.

@hiygamer​ - Hidden Agenda

I like the concept here, but I think you maybe underestimated it. The most obvious comparison here is Profane Tutor and Wishclaw Talisman. Both get you your cards a little later, but with some downsides compared to this Hidden Agenda. Being better than the two most recently printed tutors is a pretty big sign you’re maybe too strong. The exact phrasing also lets you pay the one during your opponents turn, so you can have the card in hand by the time you untap. Flavor-wise, I think it works. It does feel like you’re up to something, and you’ve got it hidden away, but I kind of wish it could be MORE hidden some way. Right now it feels a lot less like its hidden and more like it’s just in your hand but costs 1 more. But that’s getting nitpicky. It still feels like a good fit of card and name, which is the focus of this contest. I just think you could have pumped the brakes a little more, either making a more expensive tutor or a more hidden card.

@hypexion​ - Will of the Council

I was certain someone would do this. William of the Council. Bravo. But why does he have to do with voting? Surely there are other councils than Paliano’s. For this week specifically, I would have really wished you kept further away form voting. Yes, this doesn’t have Will of the Council, but it cares about it. Anyway, the card itself? I like it. I think the last ability is really cool, and adds some wrinkles to time when everybody is already agreeing on how they’re going to vote. You can also do some silly things where you purposely vote a certain way to get a bunch of treasures or get the result you actually wanted. I also like how playing him encourages you to be t he good guy: you want to make sure other people want what you want. That’s a cool way to build a deck. The first ability messes with all of that, though. First, there’s a lot of math. There 5 permanent types you’d have to count every time you vote, with the number of artifacts changing after each one. Lands would be the tough one, but creatures would be annoying, too. In a conspiracy draft, there’s also probably be some confusion to if conspiracies count, or Tribal, or Snow. Then there’s how it messes with the second ability. As soon as you get one extra vote, all of the fun of the second ability goes away. Most votes only have two options, so you just get to pick both. You were clever with the name and clever with the ability, but maybe a little too ambitious with the card itself.

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes​ - Haunt

This card is a little weird. Flavor wise, I mostly like it. I like that the spirit is the same size but behaves differently than its originator. The name feels a bit mismatched, since this is less haunting something and more letting something else do the haunting. I would expect some sort of spirit to haunt the creature, not for it to die and come back to haunt others. As for the card itself, it’s not as good as it looks. For reference, Undying Evil, Supernatural Stamina, and malakir rebirth are all one mana. This is three mana to make a token that is almost strictly worse. It loses abilities, has to attack and block, but at least it has vigilance? I don’t understand the flavor of those abilities, either. Is it just an aggressive spirit? I would have expected it to have gained flying, but without it I don’t understand what exactly this spirit is. I keep thinking I’m missing something, but as I see it, this card is just not quite there on mechanics or flavor.

@kellylogs​ - Vigilance

It’s been a while since we’ve seen a card like this, but I remember the time when Mardu Ascendency, launch the fleet, and similar effects were all the rage. I like how this one specifically doesn’t create the token tapped and attacking. It sort of sells the flavor that they are leaving someone back in order to stay vigilant. I think this card is fine, but I have one giant issue: why did you specify “taps to attack?” All that does is make this card say “whenever a creature without vigilance attacks, make a token.” I know I said you’re not allowed to use the ability on the card, but specifically not using it feels even weirder. If it didn’t say that, I would feel perfectly fine with this card, maybe even make it a runner-up, but the “taps” part in there makes it clear that you didn’t feel confident enough in the design, and though you needed some way to tie the card back into the ability, something I specifically said I wasn’t looking for.

@loreholdlesbian​ - Encore

What a show this is. I like this card, but it’s very hard to judge. In some formats, this would be a powerhouse. Four mana for an extra turn with some extra cards is a great rate, and the lose clause is not nothing, but might be ignorable. Otherwise, though, this card could be a bulk mythic. We’ve seen two similar cards in the last few years, it’s hard to know what the rate on this card would be in this day and age. I’ll say what I can: this is a really cool concept and a really great way to answer the prompt. I just am so scared of extra turns in this day and age, what with the prevalence of them in recent years. Yes, this loses you the game, but is that enough? I just don’t know. I’m sorry, I wish I could help more. I like this card, I just am failing a bit as a judge right now.

@maispace​ - Bloodthirst

I think you came at this challenge from the wrong direction. It seems like you started by thinking of the ability of bloodthirst, then made a card around it. This is an enchantment that basically makes it so you always get your bloodthirst triggers. I don’t really understand how the card itself is bloodthirst. Is the idea that the creature spells are bloodthirsty? And so when you cast them, they’re “going for blood,” dealing damage? I don’t quite get the flavor. What the card does, though seems cool. It’s effectively damage that ramps up every turn. I like how it messes with strategies. Normally in aggressive red decks where you want to be playing burn like this, you also want to be playing a lot of low-cost creatures. But this card wants you to just play one creature a turn in order to get max value from it. I like that this sort of encourages a different type of aggro deck: one where you’re trying to tap out for big creatures every turn. Or maybe playing flash creatures? Or maybe you have a lot of activated abilities, so you can still use your mana? There’s a lot of cool, unique ways to take advantage of this card, and it might be worth it. If you trigger it at least three times, you get 6 points of burn for 3 mana, which is good! Feels a little odd at uncommon, but I could see this being a lame rare. I would just hope there’s enough enchantment removal in the set that this wouldn’t just be that oppressive. Even one damage a turn can add up in limited.

@mardu-lesbian​ - Improvise

Oh my. First, the flavor mostly works. I get that you’re sort of doing what you can with what you have, regardless of its utility. It’s a little odd that it doesn’t do things with your hand and is stead almost sort of reanimatey, but I think that’s a fine stretch to make the mechanics work without being too wordy. As for the ability, oh boy! It is very easy for this card to kill someone. I could easily see a combo deck forming from this. The random part I both like and dislike. I like it because it gives you a need to build around: you can’t just put the one big card you need in there to combo off, you’d need some way to partially empty your own graveyard to ensure it works. I also don’t like it because if you don’t keep your graveyard clean, you still have a chance of it woking anyway, meaning whether you win or lose is basically decided randomly, which is not super fun. Another strange quirk of this card is that it can actually be used relatively fairly. In a modern blitz deck, you probably won’t get more than one or two power out of it (maybe three if you’re playing those spectacle cards), but just being a spell that grants trample and maybe a bit of power is really all they need. This card being at common feels really strange as well. It’s a little bit complex of a card, in that it requires paying very close attention to the board state and also your graveyard, and needing to randomize it. While that might be fine, the swinginess of it would get tiresome in limited. It’d be pretty easy to get to the point where you have every mana value from 1 to 5 in your graveyard and your opponent is at 4 and, again, whether you win or lose the game comes down to randomness. I really like the idea of this card, but I wish it was a little less randomized.

@martianjune​ - Evolve

Evolving is the idea of growing and adapting to circumstances, and this catches that flavor, but maybe has one too many effects. Adding a counter is a nice base line, and growing when dealt damage is great flavor, and fighting works with the damage part and kind of works to represent evolving to adapt. But as a whole the card gets a little messy. The biggest issue is it’s not clear whether you fight when it’s dealt damage or when you cast the spell. I think you’d want to grant the creature the ability. Perhaps: “Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. Until end of turn, that creature gains ‘whenever this creature is dealt damage, put a +1/+1 counter on it.’ Then it fights target creature you don’t control.” That would be less confusing. Unless you do want it to keep fighting infinitely. There’s also some weirdness in that this does the same effect twice back to back, putting counter on it before and after, which is a little weird, but hardened scales decks prefer it that way. As an instant pump spell removal spell with extra utility, I think this is maybe too complex even for uncommon. It also doesn’t really have a great way to include the reminder text that the creature needs to still be alive to put the +1/+1 counter on it, which confuses some new players. For the most part I like the design of this card, but it’s just too complex.

@misterstingyjack​ - Threshold

You’re playing with fire, here. A tutor on a land is incredibly powerful, even one as weak and slow and narrow as this. We’ve seen the incredible power of Urza’s Saga, and while this is weaker, it may fall into the same trap of assuming that cheap is the same as weak. I also don’t get the flavor at all. A threshold is like a barrier, so I kind of get that it’s a land, but is this supposed to represent specifically the barrier between the rest of the world and presumably the legendary land you’re tutoring? Okay, now that I write it out I kind of get that. But why is it legendary? Normally that wouldn’t bug me that much but A) on lands its a big deal and B) the card itself cares about legends, so it’s kind of relevant. I think if this specifically stated lands this might be fine, but this card seems specifically made to try and be broken, which I think is not a great idea.

@nicolbolas96​ - Eternalize

Well that’s quite the removal spell. It even removed the oxford comma from the reminder text! Seriously, though, this card is pretty scary. While it can be used fairly as a removal spell, it also has some random combo potential, like magus of the abyss or leonin abunas, or other stuff I’m probably not thinking of. It also seems absolutely devastating in commander, where it’s entirely possible you completely remove their commander from relevance, or protect yours somehow? This is a really hard card to evaluate, because we’ve only seen one other card similar to it, one with the stars, but this is also an instant with a permanent effect. I’m not a huge fan of the latter aspect, though I appreciate that the name at least clues people in to the fact that it lasts indefinitely. I’m very glad it’s at rare to make up for the many confusions that will come from this card. Lastly, this is pretty cheap for this effect. It’s basically two mana instant speed removal in white that can’t be protected by indestructible or even reanimation. This kills things that shouldn’t be able to die. Maybe that’s fine? Like I said, hard to evaluate, but I think I come out on the side of positive. Not great, I think it’s more trouble than it’s worth, but it’s at least something new and exciting.

@nine-effing-hells​ - Planeswalk

There’s some templating issues with this card that makes it unclear to me what it’s trying to do. Let’s say I have eight lands in play when I play this. I shuffle them into my deck, then each player reveals cards until they reveal 8 lands. Then I may put any number of those lands onto the battlefield. I’m going to assume under my control? It would need to says so, because right now they would just go under their owner’s control. Next, players shuffle “the rest” into their library. The rest of what? As written, it implies the lands, but I’m also shuffling the other cards revealed, right? Though they never left the library, so either way they’d get shuffled. I think you’d want to say “You may put any number of land cards revealed this way onto the battlefield under your control, then each player shuffles the rest of the revealed cards into their library.” Mas polymorph is the closest I could find to this. Anyway, the card’s mechanics: I think this is a little underwhelming. It’s a lot of counting and shuffling and stealing for very little gain. You’re doubling your mana for 8 mana, which is actually one above boundless realms or nyxbloom ancient and two above mana reflection. But with this you get to steal your opponents’ lands! That’s kind of just worse than your own lands, since they won’t tap for the right colors of mana all the time. You’re also thinning their deck by a pretty significant amount, meaning your opponent is actually getting some amount of benefit out of this (unless they’re mana screwed, in which case you were winning anyway). I think this only really has any use in commander, where the “each player” part means you’re more likely quadrupling your mana. I guess that’s pretty good for eight mana. This is also insanely good in landfall decks, obviously. I think I like this card, but there’s a lot of things pulling me from it. It’s a cool mix of scapeshift, oblivion sower, and boundless realms, but kind of feels bloated. It’s just trying to do so much, and because of that it’s got a massive mana cost and a lot of annoying to deal with shuffling and counting, nto to mention the amount of confusion that stealing lands usually leads to. Lastly, and I almost missed this, all the lands come into play untapped, which feels excessive. Eight mana to double your mana permanently that also doubles your mana the turn you play it is just begging for trouble. I think this would be a card everyone at the table would groan when they see, potentially even the player playing it. From a purely mechanical angle it seems like a good idea, but there’s just so many little issues that add up to make it a hassle of a card.

@Partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff - Dash

I think this card doesn’t do enough. I tink the “if” part is unnecessary. +2/+0 and haste is easily something worth 1 mana, even at common. The fact that it rewards targeting a creature that actually needs hast feels redundant, and I feel like it’s an attempt to get this card closer to it’s ability, which goes against the goals of this contest. I think you might have needed to step back and think about another interpretation of the word dash to try and come up with something more original.

@pocketvikings​ - Amass

I have one very important question about this card: why would you cast this for X anything more than 0? There’s reasons too, of course, but the card doesn’t really encourage it in any way. I can see this being played in a Rosheen Meanderer deck, but just a mana filterer, which seems weird. You can play it in a mizzix deck or other mana value matters decks, but that also feels really narrow. I think the most common use for X is cost reduction, like if you have a Baral and a Goblin Electromancer. Then that mana really is free, and it does feel like you’re amassing it. Sadly, those are the exact kinds of decks where you really don’t want to be limited to one more spell. So you have a card here that doesn’t really know where it wants to go. I think you either really needed to encourage big mana some way (like by doubling outright instead of adding), or by encouraging small mana (like just adding X mana alone, but allowing multiple casts, so you just get to double dip on mana reductions). As is, there’s just not a place for this card.

@reaperfromtheabyss​ - Threshold

I don’t quite get the reference with vampires. Is it a reference to them not being able to enter a house without being welcomed? Is that a threshold? Anyhoo, card seems fine. I don’t think it needed to be an artifact: plenty of walls in magic aren’t artifacts, and I don’t think they need to be. The last ability is just Baird. This is a wall that makes it hard to attack you. That’s all, folks! It hink it does a fine job of that, but it feels hard to feel that this card is necessary when Baird is already out there and has power and vigilance and only 1 more mana. I don’t think this card is bad, I just think it’s the most literal interpretation of the name.

@shakeszx - Bury

Spooky. Love the art, and kill spells are great places for one-name cards. The flavor really comes together. As with any creature-type based removal spells, you get some nitpicky things like “can you bury an elemental? Can you bury an ooze?” But that’s just what I expect pedantic players would say. I think non-spirit is fine trinket text. My biggest issue with this is that it’s very clearly a reference to the original ability. Bury got changed to “kill it and it can’t be regenerated,” and you swapped out the regeneration for indestructible, it’s current substitute. I wish I could have seen a card further from its source for this challenge, but I can’t argue against how solid of a card this is. I do wish it had found a way to stray further from terminate, which is almost exactly a reflection of this card. Also this is kind of going to be a boring rare (I say as someone who opened multiple dreadbores).

@snugz​ - Eternalize

Love me some gold counters! I remember putting aurification in my old defender decks. This really fits the theme. I like how you put the counter on it even though it wasn’t “technically” necessary: you could have just had it gain all those things. But the counter is a very useful tool for remembering, and the fact that it can be interacted with, unlikely as it is that you can remove the counter, it still technically gives you something you can do about it. The defender and can’t activate abilities is neat, but the other two parts seem odd. Turning it into a treasure doesn’t really do anything other than random stuff like counting towards Revel in Riches. I think you wanted to grant it the treasure ability. The fact that it can still activate mana abilities is what tipped me off to that, since that seems incredibly narrow otherwise. I also think this is closer to a white card than a black card. It’s extremely similar to both Guard Duty and Minimus Containment, both white cards. Black would be much closer to just outright killing the creature, especially for a 3 mana uncommon. Still, I like the flavor of it.

@starch255​ - Extort

Well this is not something I was expecting. I can really respect the attempt to make something new with what you’ve got. You may be pushing the boundary a bit harder than I liked, but at least you had fun with it. The card is strange, but I think I like it. Haste is a weird ability because it doesn’t scale evenly, so 5 mana for 4 power haste is kind of in line. The “flying when attacking” is a nice way to power it up and down a bit, and the one toughness makes this really fragile. It also sort of helps with the flavor: high toughness is the one thing most commonly associated with turtles. Still, something about this card feels off. Even with haste, 5 mana for a 1 toughness creature is a hard sell. In the right format, this would be a beating and a half, and in the wrong format, this would be last pick every draft. Ravnica, where this card seems to be from, is famous for its many 1/1 flyers. Especially with conditional flying, you could probably have pumped up the toughness at least to two. But hey, funny card, okay in some formats probably, and a cool two color design.

@stellarlight​ - Encore

Visual: A magic show. Three identical magicians jump through the air with happy smiles on their faces, an outfit identical to theirs is on the floor. The audience is mesmerized.

Now this is a strange card. First off, I think this card is a little close to the original ability, which I tried to discourage, but not so close that I’m disqualifying it. I just think you maybe played it a little safe. As for the ability, how strange! At first it just seems like an incredibly overcosted Kaya’s Ghostform, but the fact that it hits opponents things means it’s a little closer to Minion’s Return. The fact that it makes a token instead of reanimating the creature has upsides and downsides: it means you can still do graveyard things with the creature card in the yard, but it means that bounce spells are kill spells. If you’re taking your opponents cards, it’s the opposite. The bonus ability on this is pretty cool, though. It makes this card really cool in blink decks, since you can enchant your guy at the end of their turn, untap, then blink it on your turn with a charming prince or something. The tokens stick around, too, so you’ll end up getting three ETB triggers in addition to the one you already were going to get from blinking it in the first place. Still, I think this card is a mana too much, maybe more. Minion’s return is the closest basis to this card, and it was an uncommon that almost never got played. This requires setup to ge the most benefit from, and still costs two more, including another color! Aura’s are already so easy to mess with, sinking 5 mana into one just to get blown out with a removal spell on the stack, or having someone mess with your blink effect before you untap is very likely. I think just four mana, or even 3 might be fine. I think it’s a really cool idea, though, and other than the cost (and the similarity to the ability), I like this card.

@wilsonosgoodmcman​ - Fateseal

They’ve been trying to design a card like this for years I feel, and you got a pretty good version of it. It’s a bit like spell queller and a bit like Oblivion Ring. I think the name fits pretty well, and I like how you reinterpreted the “seal” from meaning “decide” to meaning “trap.” The templating on the bottom is a bit off: you could probably steal it whole from Spell Queller. The cost also seems right on the money: just a touch more expensive than O-Ring, same price as Cast Out or Ashiok’s Erasure but with comparable downsides to both. I think this would se play in a lot of blue white control decks. Part of me wants to complain and say that this card is boring and too close to things that have been done before, but I think I’m wrong on both accounts. This is a role-player in the format, not a headliner. A good card, and a good answer to the prompt.

@wolkemesser​ - Grandeur

Making a Lorwyn style incarnation is a really clever way to get that name to work. Your reworking of the shuffle clause is pretty interesting, and is a clever way to set up that last ability. And that last ability sure is something. It gives this creature basically a permanent on-death effect. It still needs to be cast and die, but after it does, you’re good. Your opponent has to 20 you in one turn. But as a mythic that needs to be set up is that fine? If you play a temple garden into avacyn’s pilgrim or bird of paradise, you can get this out by turn three or so. If you play a sacrifice outlet before then, you can set up this combo nearly immediately. Even so, graveyard hate can hit it, just not all graveyard hate (many players use grafdiggers cage in historic, for example). If I were in charge of deciding if this card sees print, I would be terrified. It’s a really cool and maybe balanced ability, but I’m worried it would turn quite a few games into do-you-have-it games of combos vs. graveyard hate. It’s probably fine though. I like this card.

~

And that’s everybody. If you want to talk to me about anything in particular, feel free to contact me at our discord.

-Mod Mr. ShinyObject

[tigerkirby215]

5e Ezreal, the Prodigal Explorer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Suke “hugehugesword” Su. Made for Riot Games.)

In my constant and continued effort to deny Ezreal’s existence I finally had to get around to building him. Again it’s not that I don’t like him... I mean I don’t. But I kinda forgot what I was going to build him as. Lol.

Dorans & Dragons also made a build for Ezreal back in like... early 2020. Christ that’s before the world went to shit, ain’t it? Well regardless they also made their build before Tasha’s Cauldron came out and I think I can make a build that is different enough to warrant my build existing alongside theirs.

In short: this is an elaborate excuse for me to make another Artificer build.

GOALS

Gawk at this! - We need many a glowing projectile to spam at foes before blowing them up. Ezreal isn’t the type to just autoattack.

I always know a shortcut - Flash on a 15 second cooldown is nice. We’ll need to be able to blink around constantly throughout the entire fight.

Time to show 'em who's best - Nothing’s more dangerous than a well-placed Trueshot Barrage sniping through the entire enemy team.

RACE

Back to good ol’ Variant Human. As a Variant Human you can increase two of your ability scores by 1: increase your Intelligence and your Charisma, to be the hot smart twink you are. You also learn a Language of your choice along with a Skill of choice. You spent plenty of time studying The Void so Abyssal would make sense as a language, and for your skill Perception would help you spot traps or incoming ganks... as long as you remember to ward.

For your feat we’re going to be grabbing Arcane Shift as fast as possible with Fey Touched so you can start Flashing. (Not like that!) You can increase your Intelligence score by 1 and also learn the Misty Step spell. You can also add a Divination or Enchantment spell to your list and a little Heroism never hurt anyone. You can cast both of these spells once without spending a spell slot, and can then spend spell slots on them after the fact.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Archeology is a lot of history and facts... If you do it the boring way, that is!

14; DEXTERITY - Repeat it after me: “something something Medium armor.”

13; CHARISMA - You’re a pretty boy twink who got at least two girls on the Rift to fall for you.

12; WISDOM - Traveling through ancient temples and traps takes a degree of common sense. Not necessarily common sense you have, but a bit of boost never hurt.

10; CONSTITUTION - You’re an ADC, which means you’re squishy.

8; STRENGTH - Twink.

Feel free to swap Constitution around with another stat for better health but worse roleplay.

BACKGROUND

“Archaeologist” is just the nice way of saying Tomb Raider, which is the mean way of saying Adventurer! You get proficiency with History and Survival (hey you’ve gotta tough it out in the desert sometimes!) You also get proficiency in a language of your choice (I went for Dwarvish because Dwarves seem to have built most ruins) and proficiency in either Navigator’s Tools or Cartographer’s Tools... “Who needs a map?”

You spent enough time in ruins to pick up some Historical Knowledge on ancient dungeons and temples to know who made them. And if you find anything that belongs in a museum you know how much it’s worth to the museum!

(Artwork by Sangsoo Jeong. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

Starting off as Artificer to “borrow” a few inventions. But also because you get training in Arcana to know your magical artifacts, Investigation to find said magical artifacts, and Calligrapher’s Tools to slay Ascended and Darkin alike in one blow. You also get Magical Tinkering to wave that gauntlet of yours around on some Tiny objects, making them glow or play sounds or do all sorts of things that Prestidigitation would probably do better. But at least you can play your own theme music too!

But of course the main appeal of being an Artificer is the Spellcasting. You can learn two cantrips from the Artificer list like Message to coordinate with your support and Guidance to help yourself find treasure! (Or help others I guess.) You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus your Artificer level (rounded down.) Cure Wounds will let you summoner spell Heal yourself or your Support. Faerie Fire will serve as a more basic version of your Essence Flux, making an enemy easier to hit (therefor making them take more damage!) And Feather Fall is always useful in a pinch!

Also yes you don’t have your gauntlet yet so you’re going to have to use a Light Crossbow for now. Feel free to take a combat cantrip if you want but you don’t really need it.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2

Second level Artificers can make Infusions, special definitely-not-stolen magical treasures that make them more awesome than everyone else. For a little more AD an Enhanced Weapon is useful to have. You can also put those goggles on your head to use by making Goggles of Night to see with your dumb human eyes. A Mind Sharpener may feel like a cheat, but I’m not going to say no to keeping Concentration in check. And for your final infusion? A Rope of Climbing might be useful? Honestly the more impressive stuff comes after you’ve done a bit more exploring.

You can also prepare another spell like Alarm, just in case someone’s planning to steal your... legitimately earned treasure.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 3

Third level Artificers get to choose their specialty and Armorers don’t have to wear an entire suit of armor; just a gauntlet! Along with proficiency in Smith’s Tools you can turn any suit of armor you find into Arcane Armor. The armor has a variety of benefits: no Strength requirement, the inability to have your armor removed against your will, the ability to take it off or put it on as an action, and some replacement limbs. But notably it works as an Artificer spell focus!

There’s two different Armor Models and we’ll be going for the Infiltrator variant for a Lightning Launcher. This makes your Gauntlet a weapon that deals a d6 of lightning damage, with a regular range of 90 and a long range of 300 in case you want to go for long ranged snipes. Additionally once per turn you can pop Essence Flux to do an extra d6 of damage on hit! And I didn’t even mention the best part: this works off your Intelligence! So no more need for the crossbow.

You also get your boots for Powered Steps, increasing your movement speed by 5 feet. And thanks to your Dampening Field you can hide in bushes with free Stealth advantage! I’d recommend trying to get a Breastplate because that’s the best armor you can get that doesn’t also impose stealth disadvantage, but even with Half Plate you can still be sneaky! Heck, you can even wear Platemail if you want! "And my boots are not waterproof. Fantastic."

Oh and you get some Armorer Spells! Magic Missile will autoaim for you like your Arcane Shift projectile, and Thunderwave is helpful for some self-peel.

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 4

4th level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement: seeing as we have uneven Intelligence take the Observant feat for +1 Intelligence and a boost to your passive Perception and Investigation to watch the minimap for people to snipe! Additionally you can spy on the bad guys if you want and read their lips to gain knowledge of all their secret plans!

More Intelligence does also usually mean more spells prepared but I’m going to wait for...

(Artwork by Xu “Crow God” Cheng. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 5

5th level Armorers up their Attack Speed with Rising Spell Force, gaining an Extra Attack with the attack action!

You also get Mirror Image and Shatter added to your list of Armorer Spells, and can prepare spells like Rope Trick for a safe place to rest for awhile, and Heat Metal to really lay in that Essence Flux.

LEVEL 6 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers get more Infusions which is what I was waiting for! A Radiant Weapon is all the fun of an Enhanced Weapon but it also doubles as a flashlight for your dumb human eyes! And Boots of the Winding Path will let you Arcane Shift back to safety in case you accidentally run into danger.

Feel free to swap some of your old infusions around too. A Lantern of Revealing or Cloak of Elvenkind would be helpful... and Gloves of Thievery never hurt anyone.

And finally you can prepare Aid, as your natural awesomeness rubs off on your allies. "Oh, please, don't die. I can't lose a sidekick. Not again."

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 1

You didn’t think this would just be a pure Artificer build, did you? Even if that would’ve been stronger I’m legally obligated to needlessly stick multiclass levels into all my builds. And Wizard is definitely a good multiclass for more slots to do Spellcasting! You learn 3 cantrips and six leveled spells as a first level Wizard:

CANTRIPS

To help your allies land their shots take Mind Sliver to weaken an enemy’s saving throws.

Prestidigitation will let you do a bunch of simple magic, and if you want you can have your own hero music too!

Finally Friends is good to make friends you don’t mind losing after they tell you where the ancient ruins are.

SPELLS

I basically just took everything with the Ritual tag. Alarm (yes you have it as an Artificer spell but you can swap that out), Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic, Identify, Tenser’s Floating Disk... and sure why not Find Familiar too? Seeing as you can ritual cast at will most of your early level stuff is going to be reserved for Ritual Casting, as you’re probably going to be spending most of your first level slots on Magic Missile and Faerie Fire anyways.

You also get Arcane Recovery, letting you recover spell slots equal to half your Wizard level (rounded up.) So right now you can get a first level spell slot back at the end of a Short Rest! And later on you can get more!

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards get to choose the school that their parents left them in before disappearing in the jungle, and the School of Evocation has a surprise tool that will help us later. Along with being an Evocation Savant (allowing you to copy Evocation spells into your spell book with half the time and cost) you can Sculpt Spells so that they only hit the bad guys: when you cast an Evocation spell (from any class, not just Wizard!) you can choose a number creatures equal to the spell’s level + 1. The chosen creatures automatically succeed on their saving throws against the spell, and they take no damage if they would normally take half damage on a successful save. This will be really useful when we get our (pseudo-)Global ultimate; wouldn’t want to fry your pals now would you?

We may as well grab some of those Evocation spells, right? Earth Tremor will let you hit an AoE Mystic Shot because Riot decided that Tiamat should have a cleave I guess, and I mean... Shield is never a bad thing to have?

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - ARTIFICER 7

Back to the big brain plays: 7th level Artificers can make the biggest brain plays thanks to Flash of Genius, letting you boost an ally’s skill check or saving throw with your own natural perfection. The boost is equal to your Intelligence modifier and you can use this reaction a number of times equal to double your Intelligence modifier.

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement? Well seeing as Intelligence still controls just about everything we do it would do good to increase that by 2! That does mean you can prepare more spells (both as a Wizard and as an Artificer) but I’m going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 9

Every ADC dreams of being six-slotted; now you can be with Armor Modifications! Your Armorer armor counts as 4 separate items for the sake of your Infusions: the chest piece, boots, helmet, and the armor’s special weapon can all be infused. Far more importantly however you can have two extra infusions! Those infusions have to be on your armor, but you can put the Radiant Weapon (weapon) and Goggles of Night (helmet) onto your armor and save your other infusions for your allies! Or for yourself; yourself works too.

And we can’t forget the third level spells! You get Hypnotic Pattern from your Armorer Spells for an AoE stun, but far more importantly you get Lightning Bolt which will serve as Trueshot Barrage! And since you’re an Evocation Wizard you can shoot past your friends without blowing them to bits. "Oh, a plan. Yeah, I totally have one of those."

You can also prepare spells like Haste for more DPS (just don’t get stunned), Blink for some Duskblade invisibility, and replace Alarm with Revifify... Ya know: just in case.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 10

As an ADC it would be good to get six-slotted, and Magic Item Adept lets you get your 4th Legendary item! That’s because you can now attune to 4 magic items at once! (And can also craft Common and Uncommon magic items more easily.)

Speaking of Infusions, we can make more of them, such as a Cloak of Protection or Winged Boots! These are just generally useful but not really Ezreal specific; they’re mostly for your allies. "The gauntlet's for show... the talent's all me."

You can also prepare another spell like Fly which is just universally useful, and holy shit you get another cantrip. Take Mage Hand and maybe try to be a little more cautious when tomb raiding?

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 11

Do you want a lot more Mystic Shots? 11th level Artificers can make a Spell Storing Item and put an Artificer spell of first or second level inside. What’s cool about this is that anyone can use it, allowing them to cast the spell as if they were you!

My recommendation? Give them Mirror Image. It’s an amazing buff that doesn’t require Concentration. Even a low DEX Paladin will appreciate the chance to not be hit, and a high DEX ally can really get value out of Mirror Image. Yeah the Barbarian technically can’t cast while raging, but they can use this before going into a Rage to be very hard to hit!

And speaking of spells you can prepare another one, so how about you grab Create Food and Water to keep yourself sated on longer archeological trips. "Why didn't I eat before I got here...? Ezreal, why?!”

LEVEL 14 - ARITIFCER 12

12th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement... we got all we need in terms of stats (Intelligence lol) so now it’s time to really make some impressive trick shots: the Sharpshooter feat will let you attack at long range without disadvantage and ignore cover bonuses, but most importantly you can take a -5 to your attack roll for a whopping +10 to damage! Don’t use this on high AC targets obviously but if you think you’ll hit why not go for the one-shot? "No applause, please. ...Okay, maybe just a bit of thunderous acclaim. ...A little?"

LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 3

I do still want more spell slots, as well as more spells known! Truthfully there isn’t too much I want from second level, so take Locate Object to find hidden treasure and Augry (added to the Wizard spell list thanks to Tasha’s!) to know what to expect in the next dungeon... sorta. "No plan survives first contact with me."

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement: we got all the abilities we wanted really, so why not Get Lucky? The Lucky Feat will give you a bit of anime protagonist power to guarantee that you make the perfect daring escape. Feel free to take Warcaster or just increase your Constitution however; by this point Ability Scores don’t matter too much.

You can also learn two more spells like Melf’s Acid Arrow for another Essence Flux-esque DoT ability and See Invisibility, in case you need a Sweeper Lense to deal with any clowns.

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 5

Ima be honest I kinda just wanted third level for Thunder Step to get an Arcane Shift that does damage. Artificer 18 / Wizard 2 (or even just Artificer 20) would’ve been a fine build for Ezeal too, if you don’t think this one spell is worth a 5 level class dip.

Anyways you also learn another cantrip and I mean... you may as well take Shocking Grasp for some defense up close? You also get one other spell and I’m gonna suggest Galder’s Tower this time which is like Tiny Hut... but awesome. And really small. This is mostly just a way for me to talk about a fun spell and also recommend my homebrew fix for it.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 13

You got third level spells as a Wizard, you can now prepare 4th level spells as an Artificer! Fire Shield and Greater Invisibility are both available as Armorer Spells, one of which is far more useful for you than the other one. Bro imagine how crazy Evelynn would be with Evelynn’s passive. But yeah feel free to swap around your prepared spells a bit for more 4th level spells, since you definitely have the slots to do so.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 14

14th level Artificers are Magic Item Savants who can attune to 5 magic items at once, meaning that along with your boots which are technically magical but whatever you can finally be properly six-slotted! But far more importantly you can attune to any item, regardless of any class or race restrictions tied to the item!  "I can't get hauled into wizard court again. Technically I don't have a permit for the gauntlet."

Speaking of more attunement: more Infusions. An Amulet of Health will let you boost your bad Constitution from a 10 to a 19, giving you a solid 76 health boost near max level! Other than that more movement speed is never a bad thing, and Boots of Speed may give you more value than your other magic boots.

But holy shit forget all that because you finally get your 4th Artificer cantrip! Grab Mending because somehow we don’t have that yet; gotta keep your outfit in check! Oh and you can get around to preparing another 4th level spell! Truth be told though the 4th level spells for Artificer are kinda... bad? But at least Tasha’s gave us Summon Construct which is a surprisingly strong summon!

"Last time I was in Shurima, I decoded some glyphs. Something about a jackal head... End of times... The usual. All I wanted was this ruby scarab. It looks great on my mantle."

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 15

Our final level is the 15th level of Artificer for the Perfected Armor Armorer capstone. When you shoot an enemy you mark them with Essence Flux, giving them disadvantage to hit you. In addition the next attack (including your own I’m pretty sure!) has Advantage against the enemy while they’re marked with  Essence Flux, and if they’re hit they’ll take an extra d6 of Lightning damage!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Blast 'em, gauntlet! - With your capstone ability you do 4d6 + 10 damage with your Lightning Launcher, and that’s before using Sharpshooter. Even without your capstone 3d6 + 10 is still really good damage output, especially when you can cast spells for big bursts of damage.

See if you can handle this! - Speaking of spells your slots go all the way up to 7th level, and while you’ll mostly just be upcasting a 12d6 Lightning Bolt is nothing to sneeze at! Not to mention other options like a 7d8 Fire damage Heat Metal or +30 HP Aid.

If anyone asks, I didn't see any of these priceless artifacts for sale - It goes without saying that having two more attunement slots than the average character is massive, especially when you can stick infusions onto your armor to maximize the amount of treasures on your person.

CONS

I wasn't strong enough? - Investing fully in INT gives us maxed out combat stats but it leaves a lot of our other abilities lacking. We’re nowhere near Charismatic enough to sell (somewhat) illegitimately gotten gains, and while Infusions can help augment our health (and even our Strength if you grab a Belt of Giant’s Strength) your Wisdom and even your Dexterity are rather mediocre, which is bad for both skill checks and saving throws.

Impossible comebacks are sorta my specialty - Most of your coolest stuff is tied to spell slots and other Long Rest dependent mechanics, and while you have a lot of spell slots (as well as Arcane Recovery to get some of them back) they are still quite limited. You’re perfectly viable as just an auto-attack and Q spammer, but who doesn’t want to shoot lasers and explosions, ya know?

Never met a problem that I couldn't blast away with magic... that I don't even understand - 5 levels in Wizard give us big spell slots but that’s about it, and yeah a 7d6 Lightning Bolt (that won’t hit your allies) is nothing to sneeze at but for the most part you are more of a Martial character. Just saying that level 18 of Artificer would’ve given you Magic Item Master for a whole 6 attunement slots! And level 20 of Artificer would’ve given you Soul of Artifice, essentially operating as a +6 to all saving throws and a 6 time use Guardian Angel.

But if a teamfight breaks out you’re more than a capable ADC. Artificers are the masters of magic items and it doesn’t matter if you make them yourself or “borrow” them from an ancient tomb; you can be the hero mom and dad always wanted you to be! Just concentrate on your farm in the early game and don’t take unnecessary risks. You may be the perfect man of magic but you’re not immortal, despite what the ADCs I’m forced to support always seem to think.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuesting. Made for Riot Games.)

[thessalian]

Thess vs Fibro Limitations

Quick note about my fibromyalgia class - because it’s not strictly physio, even if we do some slight stretching exercises (which one of the people running it calls ‘chair yoga’) at the start of sessions. I’ve figured out a few things as a result:

No one can figure out how old I am. I mean it: no one. We were talking about something to do with knee replacement surgery (because one poor woman in my group has all the problems, I swear) and I mentioned how my first job nearly twenty-five years ago was dealing with that kind of thing and she went, “You don’t look anywhere near old enough for that”. At which point I just went, “Okay, how old do you think I am?” “You look like you’re in your mid-thirties.” Apparently I am one of those unageing people that everyone suspects are fae. Like Keanu Reeves and Joan Jett. Except less conventionally attractive. (I behave more like an eldritch archfey troll, though, so that’s fine.)

I am way more in touch with the fast-changing world and the means with which we communicate our increasingly stressful situations within said world than anyone else in the group. One woman in the group said, “I heard the best metaphor recently! You see, every day you get a certain number of ‘spoons’ that reflect the amount of energy you need to perform a task - like getting up costs a spoon, cooking breakfast costs a spoon...” It took every muscle in my body not to flag up that everyone I know has been using that one for so long it’s become ubiquitous. It took slightly less effort to refrain from mentioning the slightly more accurate ‘spell slot’ metaphor (which it is, because you can spend a big spell slot to do a little thing but you can’t spend a little spell slot to do a big thing, and some things you can do no matter what and those are cantrips, but we’re getting into less Internet 101 and more the post-graduate course “My Brain Is Trash And I Live On The Internet”.

I am the only person in that group who has had even a tiny bit of the kind of therapy that isn’t physical. One woman in the group apparently gets really mad at herself when her grip fails when holding things, like “How can you not hold a plastic plate with a couple of chicken bones on it? How are you this useless?” So when I heard this, my heart went out to the woman because I know I do this to myself a lot but I at least acknowledge that I do it and fight back against it. So I asked her if she’d say that to anyone she loved if they were in the same situation she was, and she said of course she wouldn’t, and I suggested she give herself the same kindness she would give (and, to hear her tell it, does give) to others. She looked a bit like she had a revelation, even as she was saying, “I know; my son’s saying that to me all the time, to be kind to myself, that it’s not a big deal, stuff like that”, so I nudged forward a little bit more with that, suggesting that maybe she might want to borrow his voice when she gets mad at herself, until it starts sounding a little more like her own inside her head. Sometimes loving yourself comes easier if you remember the love you receive from others; I mean, it’s never 100% easy, especially when you’re already depressed and frustrated and stuck in a mess of self-loathing because your body’s betraying you for no reason, but any trick you can pull on your brain to make it easier is worth it. During all this, the actual therapists involved just kind of sat back watched me, nodded a lot and let me handle something that, according to the group schedule, is going to be handled in a few weeks anyway. Still, apparently no one had ever had the kind of CBT you need to talk around or past those nasty self-hating voices in their heads. Not sure whether to envy them because they never needed it, or feel intense sympathy for them because they do or did need it and never got it.

So that’s a thing that’s happening. I think I’m providing more help in that group than I am giving it. Not that it’s not fascinating so far, but most of it’s pretty basic. The ‘chair yoga’ was a bad move, though. Seems that it only takes two five-hour days at work to get into “bad pain flare” territory. I mean, to be fair, the commute hasn’t helped. The hour and a half is now closer to two hours each way because of roadworks, the heat wave we had earlier in the week nearly murdered me on the way, and the bus stop that I generally get off at at the end of the day - the one closest to my house that doesn’t require too many transfers - has been shut for over a week, which entails at least a half-mile walk at the end of an already long fucking day. Also Scruffman needs to let me manage my own typing queue, because he seems to be of the mind that I can still handle the same approximate volume that I used to and that’s not going to happen at this point so I end up with the self-loathing spiral when I can’t do all the work he sets me for my now-standard five-hour day. But that’s been handled by the other manager (effectively his manager) so that’ll hopefully be resolved next week.

Anyway, summary is that I hurt. A lot. But I’ve been productive, and that helps a bit.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #106: Jeanne d’Arc (Alter)

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re making the burning dragon witch of France, Jeanne d’Arc (Alter)! Jalter’s pretty good- Fire, more fire, and bullying dragons into serving you- solid kit!

Check out Jalter’s build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: We’re really testing that “All Dogs Go to Heaven” theory, huh?

Race and Background

Like I said with Mash, Homunculus isn’t really a race in D&D, so we’ll have to keep things simple. While you are a magically made copy, you’re a copy of a Human, so we’ll have to stick with that. This gives you +1 to all abilities. Make up the Magic Doppelganger background (or just use Haunted One) for Arcana and Religion proficiencies. You’re made of magic, and you have to know about God in order to spit in His face. 

Ability Scores

If that custom background wasn’t weird enough, we’re also using the Point Buy system for this build, because we need a lot of stuff right away. You were made by an evil wizard, so a little bit of minmaxing is probably fine. Unfortunately, we have to keep Intelligence at 8- I’d like to make it higher, but we need the points for other abilities. You don’t really go on a self-improvement kick until you’re a berserker anyway. After that, set Dexterity and Wisdom to 12- they’re needed for multiclassing. You can fight (and presumably dance) in a dress, and you can still pick people out in your Grondement du Haine, so they can’t be that bad. Set Constitution to 13 for some toughness-you’re a frontline fighter, and your Avenger class makes absorbing peoples’ hatred (read: their attacks) a bit easier. That leaves us just enough points to bring your Strength and Charisma up to 14. You have one of the highest attack stats in the game, and you’re damn scary when you want to be-and you always want to be scary.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: Avengers are good at hitting things and taking hits, and so are barbarians! When you pick up the class, you get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two barbarian skills- Intimidation and Athletics. You’re strong and scary. (Pretty sure we said that already.)

Either way, barbarians can Rage as a bonus action, gaining extra attack damage, advantage on strength saves and checks, and resistance to the physical attack types. In exchange you can’t cast or concentrate on spells, and it ends early if you don’t attack or get attacked by something in a round.

You also get Unarmored Defense, giving you an AC based on your dexterity and constitution. I’d highly recommend not using that because yours is pretty bad, but it’s available if you really need to fight in a ballgown. Sometimes showing up the Ice Bitch Queen is worth the pain.

2. Sorcerer 1: A Jalter just wouldn’t be a Jalter without plenty of fire and draconic imagery, and that’s why you’re a Draconic Bloodline sorcerer. A black dragon would be more on brand, but we have to go with a Red Dragon Ancestor for the fire damage. This also lets you read and write draconic, and more importantly, your proficiency bonus is doubled for charisma checks against dragons. You may not have magical control over them yet, but you can probably keep the younger ones in line already.

Your Draconic Resilience gives you an extra hp per sorcerer level, as well as an AC of 13 + your dexterity modifier. That’s still not great, but it’s much better than what you had going before.

Finally, sorcerers can cast Spells using their Charisma as the casting ability. Control Flames, Green-Flame Blade, and Burning Hands should give you more than enough fire to start with. Friends will make it even easier to control dragons, while False Life will give you just a touch of healing. NP bars don’t exist in this game, so we had to represent your Self-Restoration somehow.

3. Barbarian 2: Hitting things with sticks powers up a lot faster though, so let’s stick with that for now. Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, giving themselves advantage, but also giving enemies advantage against them. Your Danger Sense also gives you advantage on dexterity saves you can see coming. You don’t really care where your spells hit-this will help keep you out of your own fireballs.

4. Barbarian 3: You might have figured out where this was going with all that fire talk, but your subclass here’s the Storm Herald! When you rage (and as a bonus action each turn afterwards), you can use your Storm Aura to deal extra damage to enemies. The desert aura deals a bit of fire damage to all creatures within range save free! A perfect option for those fidgety monks and archers. You also gain Primal Knowledge, giving you proficiency in Animal Handling. I mean, for a given definition of “Animal”, I guess that works.

5. Ranger 1: You didn’t think we were done making this build weird, were you? I promise this will make more sense in a bit. For now though, you get Perception proficiency, as well as the ability to mark a Favored Foe with your bonus action. For a minute afterwards (or as long as you keep up concentration) you can add an extra 1d4 damage to any damage done to it once per turn. Also, while it does use your concentration, it technically isn’t a spell, so maybe it works with rage? (I’d rule it does, but I’m not your DM.)

A less complicated feature you get is Deft Explorer, specifically the Canny feature, which doubles your proficiency bonus in a single skill. Power up your Intimidation to become even scarier to everyone, but especially dragons. A +14 to intimidate means you can really turn heads, even at level 5.

6. Barbarian 4: We’re about to jump back into sorcerer now, but it might be a good idea to be skilled at casting spells before we do that. Use your Ability Score Improvement to nab the War Caster feat for advantage on concentration saves, the ability to cast cantrips as opportunity attacks, and most importantly, the ability to cast spells with full hands. Now you can upgrade to a proper flagpole pike!

7. Sorcerer 2: It’s been a while, but now that we’re back you’ve become a Font of Magic, giving you Sorcery Points that you can spend on metamagic (later) or more spell slots (right now). You also get another first level spell. Shield’s useful at least, but we’ll get something more “you” at a later level.

8. Sorcerer 3: Now that you’re level three, you get that Metamagic thing we just talked about. Casting an Empowered Spell will let you re-roll damage dice to make sure everything hurts as much as possible, while a Heightened Spell will make it harder for a target to resist. Trust me, you do not want a dragon breaking out of Charm Monster.

Speaking of spells, you get second level ones now, like Dragon’s Breath, which will let you turn anything you want into a smaller, less cool dragon. Other flavors are available, but why would you not pick fire breath?

9. Ranger 2: Bouncing around even more, you get a Fighting Style. Rangers don’t get any styles for big weapons, so we’re just grabbing Defense for an extra point of AC while wearing armor. You can go without, but you have a look to maintain, you know? 

You also get another set of Spells that use Wisdom to cast. Your wisdom isn’t that powerful, but luckily Searing Smite and Absorb Elements don’t use it, so you’re set! I guess good things really do happen to bad people!

10. Sorcerer 4: We’ve had way too many odd numbers for way too long, it’s time we did something about it. Use this ASI to round up your Strength and Charisma for stronger hits and stronger spells.

You also get even more spells- Blade Ward gives you some defense without having to rage, and Aganazzar’s Scorcher got you covered on the offensive side. There’s a bit of a theme here, if you haven’t noticed.

11. Barbarian 5: It took us a while, but you finally get an Extra Attack for each attack action. You also get Fast Movement, adding 10 feet to your walking movement. It’s about time you got a little violent.

12. Barbarian 6: Our last level of barbarian unleashes your Storm Soul. The desert soul gives you resistance to fire damage, and you can also ignore extreme heat, which is super useful given how much black you wear. You can also set objects on fire by touching them.

13. Ranger 3: Now that we’re finally getting to this subclass, it’s time we justified this multiclass. You get Primeval Awareness to help you track down and “convince” dragons to help you, but if your DM is really uncooperative, you can also summon a dragon thanks to your subclass. (We know, we went ranger to make a build less situational. We think we just saw hell freeze over. 

Surprisingly, there are still subclasses left in UA after Tasha’s blew through. The Drakewarden lets you cast Thaumaturgy thanks to your Draconic Gift. You can also summon a Drake Companion as an action once per long rest (or by spending a spell slot) You have to use your bonus action to command it, but it can always use its reaction to infuse weapon attacks with its element of choice. (Do I even have to say we’re picking fire?)

You also learn Entangle this level. Your Grondement du Haine leaves a lot of spears all over the place-it’d be pretty hard to pick your way through those.

14. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get third level spells, but they also get Magical Guidance, letting you spend 1 sorcery point to re-roll a failed ability check. I’d save those for something you’re really good at, like intimidation.

You also learn Erupting Earth at this level, in case you wanted to actually do damage with your noble phantasm. Sadly your spears are a bit dull, but bludgeoning damage is still better than no damage at all.

15. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level dragon sorcerers get an Elemental Affinity, adding their charisma to fire spells. You can also spend sorcery points to resist fire damage, but you’re already good on that front.

Speaking of things that aren’t really needed, you can cast Fear this level. You already have Expertise/Super Expertise in intimidation, but sometimes you just need magic.

16. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers can cast 4th level spells, and you can finally cast Charm Monster to take control of a dragon of a dragon for up to an hour. We can also finally replace Shield with Wall of Fire to really set the scene for your dramatic confrontation with that goody-two-shoes you share a face with.

17. Ranger 4: Use your last ASI (they go by so fast, don’t they?) to become an Elemental Adept in fire. This means every die you roll for fire damage will always count as at least a 2. Also, your spells now ignore fire resistance! Just your spells though, your rage is out of luck.

18. Ranger 5: Your Extra Attack doesn’t do anything this level, but you do learn how to cast Spike Growth, for those times you want to sit back and let your enemies throw themselves on your spears.

19. Ranger 6: Your Favored Foe bumps up to a d6, and you become Roving! This adds 5 feet to your movement, and you can climb or swim at the same speed. Now nothing will be able to escape your wrath!

20. Ranger 7: Your capstone ability gives you a Bond of Fang and Scale, allowing your drake to fly and deal more damage with its bite. You also gain resistance to whatever damage type your drake deals, which can help your survivability against themed enemies (like you).

You can also cast Lesser Restoration this level. Memory correction is a little vague-status correction is a bit easier to implement.

Pros:

You’re good at burning things, and yes we count people in there. You can deal a lot of fire damage through rages, dragons, and spells. You also have multiple ways to make that fire even more dangerous, and can spread it at a touch. Great for property damage!

It can be pretty hard to escape you, thanks to your buffed movement speed and the ability to swim and climb faster than most people. Worst comes to worst, you also have a dragon you can sicc on people.

You’re pretty terrifying, especially towards dragons. Beyond having direct control over them, you can also intimidate them with advantage, a third die from sorcery, and a +27 to the roll. Barring an act of god, you can probably get most dragons to stand down, if not obey you outright.

Cons:

You have some power in your corner, but it’s all focused on fire, one of the most immune-to damage types in the game. When it’s good it’s great, but when it’s bad it’s awful. At least you can swap out your dragon damage each summon if you really need to.

Speaking of, your drake’s pretty weak, with only 40 HP at level 20. It’s probably best for you to think of it as a limited use feature than a companion, because it is absolutely not sticking around.

Really there’s a lot of multiclassing problems to go over here. Beyond the classic “spells and raging” thing, there’s also a severe lack of ASIs, several overlapping abilities, both your rage and drake using up all your bonus actions, and an overall lack of focus. You might not be great at doing any one thing, but nobody will have the nerve to criticize you.

[wearesorcerer]

Creativity versus Cheating

You may think I’m beating a dead horse about this, but given the number of really stupid takes on this website, I think it needs to be said. With examples! And stories! And ~*fun*~!

A Definition of Cheating

In the end, my erstwhile conversant antagonist mentioned “cheating”. This is a childish way of asserting your disdain for the conversation, but Venomancer has never been a good interlocutor. (This is me being petty and spiteful, but I do have a point here.) “Cheating” gets thrown around a lot as a complaint for why something shouldn’t be allowed. However, to cheat, you have to do three specific things:

Break a rule. Your action has to violate a rule entirely; it can’t simply bend the rule.

Acquire an unfair advantage. Because it required breaking a rule, no one else can benefit from the action you have taken. However, the action still works within the system of other rules to give you some benefit.

Break trust. If you break a rule without intending to do so, it’s a mistake. If you get an unfair advantage but didn’t mean to, it’s a mistake. Cheating has to violate the trust in a system of rules, which demands there be intent behind it.

I point this out because, as I mentioned before, spellcasting in D&D has a very, very long history of people complaining that it is too powerful. Spellcasting. Magic. Seemingly breaking the laws of physics. Magic may or may not itself be cheating (if real, depending on whether or not it actually violates the rules of existence), but its very existence in a codified rule set frequently causes problems, particularly with people who don’t want to play magic-users. The bones of these arguments litter spell descriptions across the editions: feather fall can’t slow down a weapon (so probably not a guillotine blade), magic missile can’t target objects, and other odd bits of wording that make you scratch your head all trace back to some questionable use of a spell.

And yet, it’s not just spells that result in this. Take this conversation from 2006 (D&D 3.5) between a player whose character was a “bareknuckle boxer” Fighter (no idea why he couldn’t have played a Monk) and a DM who was a bit paranoid about getting the run-around from players:

Player: “Can I use Sunder attempts to break opponents’ bones?”

DM: “Hmm... I don’t see why not. However, if you do that, that leaves it open for me to do the same.”

Player: “Y’know, I don’t like that possibility. I’ll just not.”

This is a creative use of established rules to get an advantage. However, it’s not cheating by a long shot: the player is avoiding breaking any rules, the DM approves of the mechanic, and the advantage isn’t unfair because literally anyone can make a sunder attempt (and plenty of monsters can do it better than this bareknuckle boxer could).

You may note that this is the exact same issue as was brought up with the create water in lungs example: the advantage isn’t unfair because others can use the same tactic (this is in fact the poster’s complaint) and the DM had to approve it, meaning either it didn’t violate rules as written (see next) or the DM employed Rule 0 (”the rules are guidelines; tweak or discard them as you wish”). What is “unfair” is that magic users can do this but others cannot; but that’s the same as any class-based issue and is the complaint that’s been leveled at magic users the entire time. But let’s stick with the unfairness at hand: it’s not unfair to other magic users and the DM allowed it, ergo it’s not cheating.

Mistaken Readings: Breaking the Rules but Not Getting a Significant Advantage

Now, here’s the catch. The create water example would vary between editions. I can tell you that in third edition it was against the rules for create water or other conjurations to create objects inside of a creature, while in 5e it requires an open container (lungs themselves are not and the passages into lungs have several ways of being closed specifically to keep water out). All you have to say is “that’s not how the spell works in the rules” and you’re good. But that wasn’t the point of the post, so I’m going to drag it some more.

A great example of such a misreading is a story the bareknuckle boxer player told me of a druid he’d played in high school.. It was the habit of his previous DM to incarcerate his PCs and strip them of all their gear to see how they’d escape from said predicament. My friend’s druid specialized in wood shaping and took Eschew Materials (feat: ignore material or focus components of negligible cost), so he cast goodberry to create some plant matter, then entangle to grow it and wood shape to retrieve the guard’s keys and unlock his cell. Had he a window or were the cell close enough to the outside, he probably wouldn’t have needed the goodberry spell in the first place. As we pointed out to him, though, goodberry didn’t work that way at the time: it wasn’t a Conjuration effect that required berries as material components, but a Transmutation effect that targeted them (making them into healing potions that also filled you), so there were no materials for him to Eschew. This was a key (but subtle) design mechanic to limit the power of a druid, who had no ability to conjure non-creature plants.

Here’s the fun thing, however: 5e’s version of goodberry works exactly the way the player thought it did in 3.5 (save that it’s still an effect of the Transmutation school instead of Conjuration). Any druid worth their salt who likes using plant shaping spells should prepare goodberry if for no other reason than to ensure that they have access to plants. (Sadly, there’s no Eschew Materials equivalent that I know of, but you could find a Divine Focus and hope for the best. Or maybe there is an equivalent that I just don’t know about.)

But here we get into another flaw in the argument: even if it’s not how the rule is supposed to work, it doesn’t exactly grant an unfair advantage. Yes, a druid needs plants to cast a lot of their spells, but not all, and a druid with wood shape (a 2nd-level spell at the time) would be a minimum of 3rd level (I know they were higher because another player was a wild shaper, but let’s just go with that). A 3rd-level druid had a base of 1 2nd-level spell (wood shape) and two 1st-level spells (entangle and goodberry), meaning that if this character had been 3rd-level, he’d have used up all three of his non-bonus spell slots just to break out of a jail cell. (Reminder: cantrips were not at-will in 3.5.) Now, given that I know they could wild shape, I must note that the minimum level for that (5th) would have given him base spell slots of 3/2/1 (not counting cantrips), so he’d still have used half of his spells just to get out of a jail cell.

At that level, though, he could have just shapeshifted into a baboon (Str 15), black bear (Str 19), or a snake (Medium constrictor or Small viper) and gotten out (breaking the door down or slithering through a gap), using a single use of a mechanic to escape and prepare himself for combat. But he didn’t. And his story is better because he didn’t.

And this is where the create water and lungs thing comes back. In the end, if it had been allowed, it would have been a save vs. death. But casters already have plenty of ways of killing creatures at first level -- and often more than one creature at a time, whereas this would have likely only worked on one. Sleep is a great example of an early save or die spell: if the creatures fail their saves, they are now helpless and open for coup de grace-ing (decapitation, stabbination, whatever). Color spray in 3.5 is far and away better than in 5e in this regard because it also makes creatures go comatose, though it doesn’t scale well. (Neither does sleep, for that matter.) Burning hands is an AoE damaging effect. I can go on.

The point is, even misinterpretations of spells tend to run afoul of how cost effective their use is.

In the end, Clerics don’t wander around filling people’s lungs with water because that’s wasteful. You worry about enemy characters trying to kill you in a game about killing things?

Where Rules Mongering Kills Fun

The biggest reason I hate these complaints is not that they make it more difficult to kill things in a game that’s always been about killing things, but in that they try to stamp out any out-of-the-box use for spells. And I mean any.

At the tail end of the Summer of 2005, when I was starting undergrad, another friend of mine recounted tales of a gnomish caster he had played. Two spells featured: dancing lights and Tenser’s floating disk. He had been trying to intimidate some NPC, so rode in on his floating disk and proceeded to use dancing lights to create the image of a humanoid getting disemboweled. Clearly, dancing lights cannot do that: it can create up to four lights or the outline of a single, vaguely humanoid, glowing form. However, if we’re stuck on the dancing lights part, we’ve missed the point: as a gnome caster, he could have done the same thing with silent image anyway (if he had it; I don’t recall what class he was or why he chose dancing lights). No, the issue is with Tenser’s floating disk. Per the spell description:

You create a slightly concave, circular plane of force that follows you about and carries loads for you. The disk is 3 feet in diameter and 1 inch deep at its center. It can hold 100 pounds of weight per caster level. (If used to transport a liquid, its capacity is 2 gallons.) The disk floats approximately 3 feet above the ground at all times and remains level. It floats along horizontally within spell range and will accompany you at a rate of no more than your normal speed each round. If not otherwise directed, it maintains a constant interval of 5 feet between itself and you. The disk winks out of existence when the spell duration expires. The disk also winks out if you move beyond range or try to take the disk more than 3 feet away from the surface beneath it. When the disk winks out, whatever it was supporting falls to the surface beneath it.

It has a range of Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels), meaning you can direct it to hover anywhere from 0 to 25-75 ft. (1-20th caster levels) from you. If you weigh less than 100 pounds (gear included), at first level you could sit atop it and move at your normal speed. This would accomplish two things: let you ignore terrain problems that require you standing in a square (pressure plates, difficult terrain, etc.) and look really cool but in a fairly typical way for a mage. Since you’re a caster, you’re going to be in the back in marching order, meaning that you’re probably not going to be the one to activate a trap, and your spells have decent range, meaning you don’t have to worry too much about difficult terrain. (This wouldn’t protect you from lava, for the record: remember your convection!) At most, it would let you cross a body of water -- unless the DM said that the surface of the water didn’t count as the surface beneath the disk, which is fair. So minor is this ability that the Elocater prestige class (Expanded Psionics Handbook) gets an equivalent merged with a better version of the levitate spell as a constant effect at first level in addition to a feat and an improvement to previous casting (well, manifesting) ability.

And you might think that all of that’s so minor that surely no one would have complained about it, yet there’s evidence to the contrary. Pathfinder came up with the Magic Trick feat to allow you to do exactly this, but only if you’re third level, pay the feat tax, and put skill points into Fly. Y’know, for the thing that the rules as written would let a light character do at first level and most characters do at second by just casting the spell. Fifth edition won’t let you do it at all: the disk disappears if it comes closer than 20 feet to you (20 ft. is an awfully long distance between you and what amounts to a pack mule you’re leading).

Now, it’s not always that way. 5e’s mage hand is now de jure able to manipulate objects, whereas it wasn’t clear in 3.5, but that’s probably because open/close got folded into it. But for every positive like that, you get two negatives from vociferous people who can’t stand it when other people don’t use spells in specific, pre-defined ways.

In the End...

At the end of the day, having a fun story to tell about how you did something unusual that occurred to you on the spur of the moment and which somehow worked is far and away more important than playing this game like it were a video game, with each spell doing only one thing. And that’s not just coming from me or the people I’ve played with; that’s coming from decades of player stories, fan works, pop culture references, and even D&D novels.

The OP in that old post said that if you can’t abide by their overly narrow, strict interpretation of the rules that maybe you shouldn’t be playing 5e. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t want to sink to their level, but I think I will: if you can’t stand people being creative, you ABSOLUTELY should not be playing a role-playing game of any kind. You should stick to video games and board games. Or Fourth Edition.

[perahn]

Birdbrained

after challenging @jadesabre301 to do sad slave!verse Serannis, I had to balance the scales a little bit. Here’s a snippet from the only universe she hasn’t written yet - the one where the translators are students at Khem’s school in Arrabar.

10 gold pieces’ worth of components is quite a sizeable proportion of a first-year’s requisition allowance. Most of the students Serannis knows are pursuing other options, arguing the various merits of this spell and that, defending their choices as vigorously as they did when choosing their first cantrip.

(Jadesa had chosen prestidigitation then. She liked being able to instantly clean spilled ink, or warm her gloves, or make her vegetables taste like Chultan dark chocolate. Serannis found chocolate with the texture of broccoli all but inedible, but Jadesa still enchants her dinner every night.)

There was never any question for Serannis, though. He submitted his research proposal and his requisition form a week ago, and now his heart is hammering with sheer excitement as he sits in a classroom with a brazier blowing fragrant smoke in his eyes. There’s a teacher watching – there always is, when a student’s trying something new – but she might as well be in the Underdark for all the attention Serannis is paying to her.

He makes sure both books beside him are open to their correct pages, then takes a deep breath. He’s been practising the chant and the hand gestures for almost a month (you aren’t supposed to begin before you get permission, but he couldn’t wait), and he knows them by heart, could do either or both while trancing, but this – this is the first time he’s putting them together. This is the first time he’s united syllables and movement with will and fledgling magic.

This is the time that matters.

Serannis begins calling. Smoke and hands shape the path; will projects his words and meaning into the outer edges of the Feywild. Come, small spirit, he calls. I seek a friend, a companion, a help. A familiar. I will fulfill my part of that ancient contract if you choose to answer it. We will be bound, but I will release you if you ever want it. Please, come.

Serannis doesn’t know how long he calls. He is too focused on getting it right, on impressing his desire into the magic. The spell is supposed to take an hour, he remembers, but that kind of time doesn’t seem to mean anything while he casts.

Hello, he hears – a voice that tickles inside his mind, inhuman, insubstantial, and bright as a ray of sunlight. The spell falters for a moment as he grins with incredulous delight.

Whoops! it observes, merriment in the not-sound. I can’t hear you if you drop the passage, you know.

Carefully, Serannis feels contrition for his carelessness, and polite wondering about his visitor and whether they are interested in becoming a familiar.

There is a sensation like a soundless sneeze, which seems to be mildly scornful. It’s a long way to come if I wasn’t, the fey tells him. You’re not terribly bright, are you?

Sometimes he isn’t, Serannis feels, but he does try. And he’s very honoured to have attracted its attention.

I don’t think you’ll get very far without help. And at least you’re polite. Hmmm… His head feels like a jam jar with a moth in it, if the moth were frowning thoughtfully at the glass in between battering itself against the walls. It’s nice in here. I think I’ll stay.

He can’t quite believe it, it’s too good to be true, this is so exciting -

Yes, yes, it says, and Serannis can feel it preening even as it pretends to dismiss his enthusiasm. I know. Don’t get too excited, we’re not finished yet. You need to give me a name.

It’s a kind of anchor, he knows. “Penna,” he says, a new sound in the chant.

A ripple of light like sundazzle on water: a small fey laugh. A feather, am I? That’ll do. What form shall I take?

This part, truth be told, had taken Serannis longest of all. He had pored over his favourite books for weeks trying to decide. There were so many birds in Faerûn, so many magnificent and strange species that he would probably never get to see, not if he spent all the rest of his life seeking them out.

But he was learning magic. He could cheat a little.

Serannis holds up the second book. It’s open to the vivid illustration of a male Aglaiocerus coelstis in full breeding plumage – the violet-tailed sylph. The hummingbird is a small jewel of iridescent greens and blues, and less than four inches long… except for the tail, nearly as long again, shining in vivid purple.

Oh! the fey says. That’s almost as bright as home. I love it!

Then the hummingbird materialises in front of Serannis, the wings a blur as it darts from side to side, gleaming vibrant in the sunlight, its tail quivering. “You are stunning,” Serannis breathes. He has a familiar, and finally he has seen a violet-tailed sylph in person – and the book didn’t do it justice, it is so much brighter and so much more beautiful.

I can definitely get used to this, Penna says, and perches on Serannis’s finger when he holds it out. Clean up your summoning, and then you can go show me off as I deserve.

…

10 gold pieces’ worth of components is quite a sizeable proportion of a first-year’s requisition allowance. Nevertheless, Serannis scrounges it together repeatedly.  There are other species of hummingbird. There are wrens, finches, gulls, owls, corvids and swifts; there are the loveliest songbirds in the world. Penna seems to enjoy the changes of form as much as Serannis does. Jadesa laughs until she cries the first time a small blue penguin follows Serannis into the library.

Serannis has to swear off parrots, though. Penna is all too happy to repeat Brighthip’s vocabulary lessons at inconvenient moments.

[once-upon-a-scenario]

Karasuno as DnD players

Hear me out, I know a group this big would never work out, but just imagine the chaos that would be a session with all of them, even if it would take half an hour to get through one turn. Just a little idea I had, as a commemoration of the fact that I had my final dnd session for the summer tonight. I’m most definitely not super proficient with the game, so sorry if I got anything wrong. Hope you enjoy it!

__________

Daichi Plays a human warlock. He wasn’t into the whole spellcasting deal at first, but then again, eldritch blasting something ten times over is a viable strategy if you think about it. Always strategizes before a battle and goes in as prepared as possible. Reasonable luck with rolls, but nothing special. Keeps meticulous lists of his spells and cantrips. He DMs sometimes and is always the type who tries dropping heavy hints because he knows his players all collectively share 1 braincell. They miss all the hints, predictably, so he ends up having to railroad them. Always does his best to keep them alive and allows like 248273 chances of extra saving throws if someone’s HP dips below 1.

Suga Half-elf bard. The embodiment of chaos theory. He tries to be helpful to the party, but it usually ends up backfiring spectacularly. Gets embarrassed when he has to play out an action, even more so if it’s something his character is doing alone, without the rest of the party. But when he gets into it, he gets into it. Always the person to accidentally stumble onto the solution to the puzzle without realising it.

Asahi Human life cleric. Was slightly torn between paladin and cleric, but ultimately decided he does better as a healer, rather than a DPS. Hates combat, had to reroll his character 4 times already cause they keep dying. It’s like he attracts high rolls from enemies. Scores uber high on any intimidation rolls, though. Slightly traumatized by any PC who tries to seduce an NPC, or NPC who goes for a PC.

Nishinoya Halfling rogue. He likes acting all sneaky, even though he’s never like that irl. Definitely a chaotic neutral at best, skirts the line of chaotic evil sometimes. The type to kill an important NPC on pure accident, or because he pissed them off without meaning to. Gets super attached to his PCs or nice NPCs. Tried DMing once and everyone who played that session described it as a strangely fun train wreck.

Tanaka Dragonborn monk, don’t @ me. At first, he chose dragonborn as the race because he thought they were cool, but as he played on, he ended up getting genuinely invested in the lore of them and can now write a whole essay on why they’re the coolest. As for monk, he simply liked the idea of being able to punch the living daylights out of someone. Probably chose Way Of The Open Hand as his monastic tradition. He did consider Way Of Shadow too, but since he’s in the group with Noya, he decided they have enough sneakies.

Ennoshita Main DM. Save him from the hell that is eternally being the dungeon master and never the player. Despite how fed up he is sometimes, he always prepares intricate worlds, taking into accounts which players are in the party, and what their strengths and weaknesses are. Makes wonderful homebrews occasionally, but sticks to pre-existing storylines most of the time, as it’s less work. Either rolls super high on enemy turns or super low, no inbetween. He has killed many a PC and always feels bad about it. Still hasn’t forgiven himself for the fact that Asahi’s on his 4th character

Kageyama Human paladin. Paladins are cool, right? One might even call them a pillar of the team. The “one” refers to Kageyama exclusively, and he will die on the hill of paladins being the best class, as they’re a combination of melee and spells, as well as support. I’m not sure if he struggles with memorizing spells or if he knows all the existing paladin spells by heart, but it’s one of the extremes in any case. Solid true neutral, took the Oath Of Devotion. Follows Kord, the god of athletics and sport, because what else did you expect?

Hinata Elf barbarian. He likes being tall, and don’t try to get him to cast spells, please. Always forgets Rage is an option and comes a hair’s breadth away from dying because he doesn’t use all of his abilities. Doesn’t care how weird the combination of race and class is. Bonking people with a great axe is a wonderful strategy and Hinata Does Not Care, especially cause he’s the party’s main tank and a great DPS.

Tsukishima Elf artificer for sure. Coincidentally, his character is still taller than Hinata’s, even though he swears up and down it’s a coincidence. Which it actually is, but he feels a silver of smugness at that fact, which he would never admit to anyone. Makes the most wonderfully, uselessly useful inventions. Originally wanted to take a pure spellcasting class, like wizard or sorcerer, but decided to have fun with the game. Chose Alchemist as his specialization. Probably tries the charge other players for the potions if they need it in the middle of combat. Doesn’t go through with it, of course, but it was worth a try.

Yamaguchi Half-Elf Druid. He loves the idea of a character so connected with nature, + it feels good to be relied on as the tank. Likes exploring the world and asking for extensive history of everything, which gives Ennoshita unrivalled anxiety. Nothing is scarier than a nat 20 on a history check for a homebrew and Yamaguchi is here to remind Ennoshita of that. Definitely chooses the Circle Of The Moon as his druid circle because he’s cheesy like that.

[hypexion]

A Pile of Fanwalkers (Part 1)

The setting of Magic: The Gathering is one where you can create as many fun fan characters as you want and it’s feasible that they’d never interact with canon characters. So here’s a bunch of them, escaping from my imagination into this post. There is probably a better way to deliver this information, but efficacy is overrated. But there’s no better time, because it’s “Fan Character February“.

The basic format for each planeswalker will be a Name/Colour Identity/Pre-Ignition Typeline/Homeplane blob of information, a quickish description of them and some “fun“ facts, and then some hits and misses for extra flavour. Also, I’m going to split this into three posts - “Heroic“, “Okay“ and “Villians“, for I believe I have the moral authority to judge my creations.

Also some of these are going to be from fanplanes, which will go undescribed beyond whatever tidbits come out the character flavour. Others will just have a ?, representing a lack of knowledge and/or sufficent worldbuilding. With that out of the way, let’s go!

Heroic

Using a somewhat loose definition of heroic, these are the planeswalkers that when presented with an injustice, will at least attempt to help. Even if it’s against their better judgement.

Alagard - UR, Human Artificer, Orpheri - As a self styled “Mirror Magus“, Alagard has turned his skill for magical analysis into a method of acquiring knowledge that others would consider out of reach. From simple cantrips, to complex feats of sorcery, there’s no spell Alagard won’t try to copy or take apart at least once. When he’s not commiting “theft of intellectual property“, as the Azorius call it, he might actually be doing his job as an Artificer, constructing various tools used to navigate between the realms of Orpheri. Or he might have found himself in a situation that requires some kind of outside intervention and impulsively intervened. It keeps happening, and once you’ve committed, you’ve got to see the problem through, right?

Alagard has white skin and short blonde hair. When working, he wears the traditional artifacer get-up - protective robes, gloves and safety accessories. Otherwise, he prefers a slightly more elaborate outfit, including a fancy blue long coat with a few too many silver frills. He also carries a Mirrorblade, an enchanted weapon capable of shifting into a multitude of other weapons. It’s pretty handy. When Alagard planeswalks, he seems to shimmer away, flaking off small, short-lived pieces of reflective material.

Hits: Finding new magic, solving problems, fancy coats. Misses: The Queen of Fate interfering with his life, mortal peril.

Heru - URW, Bird Warrior, Amonkhet - As you might guess from his homeplane, pre-ignition life for Heru could have been better. This falcon-aven always had a keen eye for detail, a talent for seeing through deception, and a tad more curiosity than was perhaps safe on Amonkhet. However, even with his growing doubt, he followed the path laid out for him by the gods. When the time came, he passed the Trials of Solidarity, Knowledge and Strength. Many from his crop did not. He might even have passed Zeal, if not for Bontu, the worse of the gods. The pointless brutality of the Trial of Ambition brought Heru’s crisis of faith to it’s peak, a thousand quiet doubts awoken by the senseless slaughter. For many, such a crisis had lead to a quick death. But Heru had a Spark, and it carried him far from Amonkhet. Now, inspired by some owl-aven he met after his first planeswalk, he seeks wisdom from across the multiverse, and wishes to create a better tomorrow.

Heru has light brown skin and brown feathers. Despite leaving his home in a less than pleasant way, he still wears the warrior’s clothing of those who take the trials. However, as he visits more planes and encounters new cultures, he has started to replace the gilded symbology of the God-Pharaoh with simpler patterns he finds appealing. Heru weilds a spear as his weapon of choice, and has recently discovered a talent for pyromancy, although he is hesitant to use it. Heru’s planeswalking effect is burst of golden flame, which occasionally leaves behind a few feathers.

Hits: Philosophy, a target from up to 100 meters, Nicol Bolas’ death, the absolute certainty that Bolas is dead, the lack of possibility that Bolas could return in any way, shape, or form. Misses: Bontu, the false God-Pharaoh knows as Nicol Bolas, large bodies of water, his own attempts at self-delusion regarding what he saw on Ravnica.

Locke - WU, Human Advisor, Noyir - Crime is a problem on many planes, and Noyir is no exception. In fact, it’s starting to get a little dire. Demons run the mob, the proliferation of magical weapons is out of control, and the serial killers seem to be especially nasty. Enter one Sebastian Locke, who has the tremendously useful ability of post-cognition, which allows him to view the recent past of places and objects. Armed with this, and a grab-bag of forensics magic, Locke is ready to take on any case, and won’t rest until the truth is discovered. He’s tangled with the Infinite Consortium, the Ozhov Syndicate, and many other sinisterly name organisations, along with a number of the multiverse’s most dangerous killers. He’s also convinced that Dack Fayden isn’t dead, but I suppose you can’t be always right all the time. (Or he knows something the rest of us don’t. Dack was in deep with the Ozhov, after all...)

Locke has black skin and black hair. He has the look of the classic detective, including the whole trench coat and fedora outfit. Since Locke is actually a detective, and visits a tailor, he looks pretty good in the whole get-up. While he keeps to the traditional drab colours on his homeplane, Locke has a rainbow’s worth of alternate outfits, for when he needs to fit in on another plane. Locke also carries a weapon that is certainly not a handgun, because it uses magic. (He’s from the gritty crime drama plane. It’s a gun.) When planewalking, Locke disappears into a swirl of grey fog, which quickly dissippates. Notably, this action takes him less than a second, making it an effective escape tactic.

Hits: Outwitting criminals, unravelling conspiracies, coffee, due process, elaborate crime boards. Misses: Serial killers, assassins, murderers and blackmailers, police corruption (of both the “taking bribes” and “magically becoming a demon” kinds).

Loxy - RW, Elephant Warrior, ? - Needless to say, Loxy’s name isn’t actually Loxy. It’s short for something. But when she points out that humans can be called Hugh, are you going to argue with the Loxodon who’s likely bigger than you, and carrying a war mace? Probably not. Of course, Loxy probably won’t smack your head clean off, provided you’re not some sort of evil-doer. She’s actually pretty nice, if a little over-enthusiastic some of the time, once you get to know her. Loxy is on a crusade against injustice, to right the wrongs of the multiverse and ensure worlds where the peaceful can live in peace. Many cruel and vile beings have met their end at Loxy’s hand, and I won’t mince words: all of them deserved it. Others have decided that reform is the greater part of not getting crushed by a Loxodon, and gone on to be nicer people.

Loxy has grey skin, because she’s a Loxodon, and whatever kind of hair Loxodon have. Loxy can generally be found wearing her armor, which she keeps polished and clean, in order to make a good first impression. As mentioned before, her primary weapon is a mace, but when you’re an almost eight foot tall elephant-person with foot long tusks, you never need to rely on a primary weapon. When not dressed up for battle, Loxy prefers to wear simple robes, just in case a fight breaks out. Somewhat surprisingly, Loxy’s planewalking aura is fairly subtle. She glows for a moment, before disappearing, leaving behind small balls of light.

Hits: Justice, stopping evil, can-do attitudes, the general concept of the Gatewatch. Misses: Injustice, the unrepentant, those who accept an unjust world as “natural“ and so refuse to seek improvement.

Velos - GU, Elf Shapeshifter Wizard, Ravnica - Have you ever head the story of Velos the wise? No? I thought not. It’s not a story the Conclave would tell you - he’s a Simic Legend. Velos has the power to manipulate biomancy to take on any form he wishes, even ones that are “decidedly male”. His ultimate goal was to be able to mantain a form indefinitely, which eventually, he achieved. Now Velos mentors promising biomancers in the ways of shapeshifting. He’s also taken up cataloguing some of the multiverse’s most adaptive species, which rather worryingly includes Slivers. Additionally, he has also pioneered several shapeshifting based treatments, to help those who need their bodies reworked. Velos is, at heart, a healer, and will offer help to anyone he encounters who may need it. He believes that everyone should be able to live their lives in good health, in the form that they find best fits them. On occation, this has brought him into conflict with some Simic factions, especially those who ignore the rather important factor of “informed consent.“

Velos’ prefered form is that of an elf, with pale skin and equally pale blonde hair. Many have noted that this gives him a strong resemblance to the elves of the Selesnya Conclave, although few really care. Those attempting to investigate his background do not get far, as the Combine wishes to focus on the future, and the Conclave would never admit that someone may have left them. Velos does not carry weapons, preferring to save carrying capacity for a portable laboratory, since he can’t take samples back to Ravnica from other planes. He also doesn’t really need any, since he’s long since mastered the art of transforming himself claws, spines, chitinous plating and other offensive and defensive body parts. While he hasn’t reached the fluidity of a naturally born shapeshifter yet, Velos is still capable of rearranging himself to multitude of forms, with very little delay. When planeswalking, he disappears into double-helix of blue-green light.

Hits: Discovering new species, the endless convience of your hand being a multi-tool, trans rights, a kind of tea that only grows on Kamigawa. Misses: Not being able to grow that tea on Ravnica, the concept of a “true form“, walking into things because he shapeshifted in a weird way.

Look at all these nice people. All of them would probably be into Gatewatching except maybe Velos. He’s more into providing medical care, as opposed to the Gatewatch’s more active form of heroism. Next up will be people who are still ‘nice‘, but in a generally more passive or distracted way.

[starlling-writes]

Bewitching Monsters - Cursed Book

Series Rating: 18+ Chapter Contains: minor swearing, tentacle sex Pairing: f/tentacle BeMo Masterlist   ☆  Writing Masterlist

**Alt Pronouns are used in this chapter. Please refer to the following guide. 

Lybras asked me to help vir to sort a large shipment of books. A mansion out west was declared abandoned, so the local court went about repossessing everything on the land. Despite only have being sent a fraction of the collection so far, ve had a small archive’s worth of new books.

“Glad I brought caffeine and snacks,” I chortled when I saw all the stacks.

“Handle only what you feel to,” ve dismissed. “I already expect to spend weeks on this.”

“So you get to keep all these books?”

Ve glanced up from vis notes to glare a warning at me. “Depends on what we find. But yes; most will be staying here.” Typical dragon hoarding a trove. Ve gestured to a stack and said, “Start there. Be careful though. Some of the books are spelled.”

“Spelled?” There were a number of reasons to spell a book. If it were to keep unwanted readers at bay, though, the trouble would be the level of security they had. I was reluctant to find that answer. “How so?”

“They didn’t elaborate,” ve grumbled. Figures. Why would the court make our job easier?

For hours it was just mundane filing. It was easy yet numbing to fall into a rhythm. Which was why I jumped and yelped when Lybras suddenly yelled. I looked over and saw vis hand encompassed in flames. White, magical flames.

I cursed and ran to vis side. I cast the counter spell but instead of putting it out, it made the fire jump to me. Cursing, I fell on my ass as I panicked. This wasn’t basic magical fire. Trick fire then? Maybe. I didn’t have too much time to think about it as it was quickly spreading up my sleeves—I really liked this sweater too. I squeezed my eyes shut focused. It wasn’t a standard spell so my usual counter spells wouldn’t work. It leapt to me when I tried dispelling it, so it had to have some type of reflection element in it. Dammit! Who the hell cast such a complicated fire spell on a book?

Suddenly the fire was gone. Well, technically it was no longer eating away at my sweater and now attacking a poor potted plant Lybras was holding a safe distance away.

“The hell?”

“The fire jumps to the last living thing to touch the book. Your foot hit it when you came to my aid.”

“It burns the last—how the fuck did they even manage to send it here?” I grumbled as I picked at my burnt sleeves. I guess I should be glad my skin wasn’t burned.

“I’ll add it to the dues.”

I crossed my arms and looked around, scrutinizing the remaining books. “I’m going to hunt down more of the spelled tomes. The fewer outfits that end up ruined, the better.”

Ve grumbled, not caring either way. I took off one of my rings and a chord bracelet so I could craft a makeshift pendulum. A quick enchantment later and I could easily sort out the mundane from the magical.

I claimed three of the reading tables and labeled them Magical Untested, Magical Benign, and Magical Dangerous respectively. With a simple cantrip, I floated the fiery book onto the danger table. One hour and thousands of books later, I had found all the spelled books. There were more than I expected, but I was ready for the task.

I drew up some talismans to test for any other bio-reactive books. One turned the paper to stone, another into a leaf, and a third set he paper on fire via lightning. Two books ate the talismans—though one was actually a young mimic. Lybras contacted the Humility Society while I persuaded the little devil into making a bed out of scrap paper and napping.

As for the harmless books, there were a lot that were simply password protected—from what I could gauge. A blank book would fill with lies if you gave it a drop of your blood. One would play out vivid daydreams when you opened it. It was tempting to test it thoroughly. However, getting hot and bothered would be so inappropriate right now.

Thankfully, most of the books ended up being nonthreatening.

But then there were the mysterious last two books.

They had a magical presence, but I couldn’t get any other reads from them. The talismans didn’t react; reveal cantrips were ineffective. I dared to touch the covers and spines, but still no reaction. The only thing left to do was open them.

I cautiously opened the first book. The pages were near black with how much was scrawled on them. After a minute of staring at a number of pages, I was certain I didn’t know this language. If it even was a language. I’d have to invest in a charm to translate writings soon.

“Hey Lybras,” I said as I walked over and showed vir the pages. “Can you read this?”

Ve scrutinized it for a moment. “No. Just mark as undetermined.” Ve flipped the page.

That was when things got weird.

The book… bit us. The writing began to glow as the pages fluttered and the book tossed itself out of my hands. We stared stupefied at it, waiting for what would happen next—because all of that had to have done something.

“Maybe something good will happen?” I hedged, trying to stay positive. Ve was unamused. The book stilled, and I was about to make another remark when black tendrils bubbled out of it.

We weren’t given a chance to run before it ensnared us. We both swore and struggled but to no avail. No place was safe from their touch. A glance at Lybras and I saw them covering vir from tail to horns. I almost envied vis larger size and greater body area for these lewd cirri to trail across. When I tried to shift positions, they constricted tighter around me. Little prickles bit into my skin. Did these things have teeth? If they did, they weren’t strong enough to break my skin since they only left oily ooze in their wake and no blood.

They weren’t constricting us to death, just groping and restraining. It wasn’t unpleasant, actually. I even started to think it was similar to being tied up by Mosaiko.

With that thought, my feelings towards the moment shifted.

This was still not ideal. I didn’t know what these tendrils intended to do and I wasn’t thrilled that Lybras was here to witness me… not hating them. We had a nice, professional relationship and this wasn’t my first pick on how to shift it to a personal level.

A tendril snaked around to the back of my neck and attached itself like a leech. Then I heard a voice—an amalgamation of voices—echo in my head.

Desire for desire. Will you accept?

“Did… did you hear that too?”

“Yes,” Lybras answered.

As least I wasn’t hallucinating. But what did it mean?

Desire of knowledge for desire of carnality, it responded. It was discomforting that it seemed to be able to read my mind. Will you accept?

“I don’t know if we should really trust this book.” I was skeptical that agreeing with it would be worth it. “For all we know, it’s gonna eat us.”

“I don’t think it’s anything that severe.”

“Elaborate book voice!” I demanded. “Will accepting your offer kill us?”

There are no desires for death. To fulfill the desires—nothing more nothing less. Knowledge for carnality, will you accept?

“We won’t get a straight answer,” ve sighed. “We’ll have to accept or refuse.”

I hated vague spells. My curiosity was running wild but I was still skeptical of all this. I fidgeted. The tendrils bit into me more, and that just made a little devil urge me to agree. I wouldn’t die; and knowledge and carnality didn’t sound so bad.

I conceded. “Well I’m up it if you are.”

Lybras took more time to make up vis mind. “I agree.”

Nothing happened.

“You have to say it,” ve said.

“Of course—the vague spell needs a specific answer.” I rolled my eyes then threw a glare at the book before saying, “I agree.”

In a flash like lightning, my vision danced and mind felt floaty. I felt like I had taken a few shots of vodka. My mind twisted and reformed. My memories and thoughts flipped pass like pages blowing in the wind. Even the skeletons.

My focus jolted back to the archive. Lybras was shuddering and short of breath and… erect. I knew I shouldn’t stare but damn. Ve was impressive. And I was intrigued to see vis unique anatomy—around the base of vis  shaft was a clear set of labia.

One of the tendrils wrapped itself around the head of vis member and swallowed it within. The dark, oozing tendril split into two; one stayed wrapped around Lybras’s dick, while the other quivered and reshaped into an exact replica of it.

What? I had second to think before it slithered its way to me. Oh damn. I knew where this was going—where it was going. At this point I had no more reservations. The moment I saw that slick tendril aiming for me I wanted it inside me. I didn’t fight as the tendrils already wrapping me spread my legs; didn’t struggle as a couple tore my panties away.

Instead, my eyes fluttered shut and head fell back as it started prodding into me. Slipping fully in, it felt like it was adjusting to fit me without really stretching me. Shame. Still, it felt wonderful as it thrusted in and out. No wonder there were so many dragon hybrids.

I wiggled my hips, trying to adjust so it would hit a better spot, but instead riled the tendrils up into biting me again. If they were trying to persuade me to stop moving, they were failing. Now I squirmed solely so they’d dig in more.

My mind was a cloudy mess. I sank further and further into the pleasure. So this is what it meant by carnality. I didn’t even care to wonder what the knowledge part had been. The fact we were supposed to be cataloging books was long gone. I even forgot Lybras was there—maybe watching, maybe lost in vis own pleasures.

The tendrils vanished and I dropped to my hands and knees. After taking a few second to calm myself, it registered that, right before everything stopped, Lybras had said ve rescinded vis consent.

We both stole a glance at each other then looked away. Silence rang between us for a good moment.

“You should make a couple memory wipe potions,” Lybras spoke up. “It’d be best we both forgot tonight.”

“Agreed.”

— — —

BeMo Masterlist   ☆  Writing Masterlist

Story:  Previous   —   Next

[creativerogues]

Building a Cryomancer in 5e D&D...

Cryomancy is the marriage of two words, Cryo- meaning Ice, and -mancy being a way of using magic.

So: Ice Magic!

So here's my "Build" for a Cryomancy Wizard, specializing in Spells that deal Cold Damage.

The most obvious spells to take are Spells that deal Cold Damage, so that's:

Cantrips: Frostbite, Ray of Frost 1st Level: Absorb Elements (Cold), Chromatic Orb (Cold), Ice Knife 2nd Level: Dragon's Breath (Cold), Snilloc's Snowball Swarm 3rd Level: Glyph of Warding (Explosive Runes: Cold), Protection from Energy 4th Level: Elemental Bane (Cold), Fire Shield (Chill Shield), Ice Storm 5th Level: Cone of Cold 6th Level: Otiluke's Freezing Sphere

Now, throw in some more cold, ice and some other spells for good measure and you have a "Cryomancy" Spell List looking something like this:

Cantrips: Frostbite, Ray of Frost

1st Level: Absorb Elements (Cold), Chromatic Orb (Cold), Fog Cloud, Ice Knife

2nd Level: Dragon's Breath (Cold), Hold Person, Misty Step, Snilloc's Snowball Swarm

3rd Level: Gaseous Form, Glyph of Warding (Explosive Runes: Cold), Protection from Energy (Cold), Sleet Storm

4th Level: Control Water, Conjure Minor Elementals (Ice Mephit), Elemental Bane (Cold), Fire Shield (Chill Shield), Ice Storm, Storm Sphere, Watery Sphere

5th Level: Cone of Cold, Conjure Elemental (Water), Control Winds, Hold Monster

6th Level: Investiture of Ice, Otiluke's Freezing Sphere, Wall of Ice

7th Level: Prismatic Spray, Simulacrum, Whirlwind

8th Level: Control Weather, Illusory Dragon

9th Level: Prismatic Wall, Wish

Now, there are other Spells out there that deal cold damage, but we'll get to them in a minute:

For now, let's talk about Race:

For Race, I've chosen Tiefling, which you may think is strange, until you see Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes, with the "Descendant of Levistus" Subrace of Tiefling.

The Subrace gives a +1 to Constitution (not bad for a Wizard!) and the Legacy of Stygia Trait allows our Cryomancer Tiefling to know the Ray of Frost Cantrip right at the start!

And at 3rd level, our Cryomancer Tiefling can cast Armor of Agathys (A Warlock Spell that Wizards cannot learn) as a 2nd-level Spell once per long rest.

Side Note: It's worth noting that Charisma is your spellcasting ability for these spells, so if you want to cast Armor of Agathys or Ray of Frost more often, and using your Intelligence rather than Charisma, take the Magic Initiate Feat and take the Spells from either the Warlock or Wizard Spell list.

Now, back to those "Other Spells" that aren't on the Wizard Spell List.

Some, like Storm of Vengeance, are simply to high level to try to learn, but using the Rules in Xanathar's Guide, we can create a Spell Scroll of Storm of Vengeance with some help from a High-Level Druid, 48 Workweeks and 250,000 gold pieces, so let's hope we can save up some money in our journeys and find the right Druid with Storm of Vengeance prepared.

But, and this is a HUGE but, certain DMs will rule that because Storm of Vengeance isn't on the Wizard Spell List, you can't cast it even from a Spell Scroll.

So, sadly we may not be able to cast Storm of Vengeance based on how much your DM knows about Spell Scrolls.

But, if you want all the Cold Damage dealing Spells, perhaps Multi-classing into Warlock for Spells like Armor of Agathys or Hunger of Hadar, then go right ahead, but for this Build I'm sticking with Wizard.

Magic Items

The most obvious that come to mind are Armor of Resistance and Dragon Scale Mail for Cold Resistance, but as a Wizard we have no Armor Proficiencies so that'll get awkward real quick...

But one thing we could do is gain a Potion of Frost Giant Strength, but yet again, having 23 Strength doesn't exactly do much for our Wizard...

But Potions of Cold Resistance do work! And so does a Ring of Warmth. Both grant resistance to Cold Damage, so... Yay?

Other icy-related Magic Items include a Ring of Water Elemental Command (which grants us some extra castings of Ice Storm and Wall of Ice), a Ring of Water Walking (Maybe flavor it to be walking on ice?) and maybe even a Frost Brand Weapon if you want to be a Bladesinging kind of Cryomancer.

But the Best Magic Item for our Cryomancer Tiefling Wizard would be a Staff of Frost. As a Wizard we're proficient in Staffs, the Staff grants us Resistance to Cold Damage, and let's us cast Cone of Cold, Fog Cloud, Ice Storm and Wall of Ice by expending some of its Magical Charges.

Feats

Depending on how many Cold-Damaging Spells you want, taking the Magic Initiate Feat to learn the Wizard's Ray of Frost or the Warlock's Armor of Agathys could help out.

War Caster is another Feat that is good in general for Wizards...

But the best Feat of them all for our Cryomancer is most definitely Elemental Adept, since it allows any spells cast by our Cryomancer to ignore the Cold Resistance of a Monster, and with so many Monsters having Resistance to Cold Damage, this helps us so so much in battle...

What’s the Final Result?

So, this Cryomancer Build end with a Tiefling (Levistus Subrace) Wizard with a Staff of Frost and the Magic Initiate and Elemental Adept Feats.

Let's hear your thoughts, have you ever had a Cryomancer in your Game? How would You build a Cryomancer? Is there something I missed that would've made this build even better?

[utilitycaster]

I know you don't love the sorcerer class and think other abilities are more useful than metamagic. But are there any metamagic options that stand out to you as clearly the best options if you do go with this class?

So the root of why I don't care for sorcerer compared to some of the other casters (unlike rogues I do think it fills a niche, and while the subclass flavors tend to leave me cold in the end the core conceit is really interesting for backstory purposes and you do still have access to like, a good chunk of the best arcane damage spells and a respectable list of buffs/debuffs) is because I think people remember sorcerers for that one time they happened to have the exact right metamagic ability for a circumstance . Off the top of my head, Pete in Dimension 20's Unsleeping City has subtle spell, and he uses it to great effect in a battle when silenced. However, said incredible moments are outweighed by the many, many times he had subtle spell and literally no need to use it. And because you spend most of the game with only two metamagic options (and then the vast majority of the rest with three; on the off chance you achieve L17, you get one more) chances are good that you'll be out here with a bunch of metamagic and nothing to use it on.

This is a little harsh though, and there are indeed some really good options:

If your party has a bunch of melee fighters, careful spell is probably smart since you can guarantee their success on area of effect spells.

Distant spell is likely to come in handy reasonably often no matter what and can't be replicated well with a feat; it applies to all spells, not just spell sniper. If you're a divine soul, absolutely take this because you can do cure wounds at a distance and healing word at 120 ft.

Empowered spell is probably good if you are first and foremost a damage dealer, but honestly I think it would be better to specialize in a particular kind of damage and take elemental adept.

Extended spell seems like subtle spell where there's some not unreasonable use cases where it's incredible and saves everyone but 90% of the time it's not useful at all. Definitely more useful if you're playing to the buff/debuff side of things; pretty useless if you're a damage dealer more than anything else.

Heightened spell just seems bad. It costs 3 points to give one person disadvantage. Don't bother.

Quickened spell seems like it will often be useful, much like distant spell; it lets you do a cantrip and a full spell on one turn which is great.

Twinned spell is also pretty good for both single-person buffs/debuffs and for damage.

(from Tasha's)

Seeking Spell lets you reroll an attack, but it costs 2 points and if you took quickened spell you could just try the attack again (with a cantrip, anyway) so I'm not impressed.

Transmuted Spell is very funny to me because I play an order of scribes wizard so I'm like oh? you have to spend sorcery points to change your damage type? and it has to be elemental? that's cute. Anyway this is also not worth it.

Conclusions:

Distant and Quickened work for basically everything and are almost always useful; they're a little less likely to be huge "holy shit" moment spells (unless you're divine soul/multiclassed with a healer class in which case my criticisms of sorcerer evaporate entirely and you are awesome) but they are consistently great. Twinned spell and Careful spell also seem like they have a reasonable amount of utility. I'd say those four are the best.

Extended spell and Subtle spell are game-changing in highly specific scenarios but otherwise not terribly helpful, so maybe take that at L10, or take one of them and then take one of the four 'best' options to balance it out.

Empowered and Transmuted are only useful for damage and there are better ways to get these abilities or just like, take Quickened or Twinned which both offer more consistent methods for boosting your damage and have more utility, and also be smart about picking your spells.

Heightened and Seeking are pretty costly for an outcome that isn't even guaranteed. Unless there's a story reason to take these and you don't mind losing the utility/damage of an actually good metamagic option, don't bother.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Rell, the Iron Maiden build (League of Legends)

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

I SHOULD BE MAKING AKALI RIGHT NOW :))))))

I did a coinflip with Rell: it was either her or Akali and she ended up winning. I’m honestly super hyped for Rell which is odd because I don’t really play tank supports. I find Leona and Nautilus boring as sin, though I do enjoy Galio and Maokai on occasion. I guess I’ve just been playing in top lane a lot more and I want a big bulky tank who I can dive into teamfights with as a support.

Also the memes for this champ are freaking golden.

But Rell presents a very unique kit that has a lot of potential in D&D. Basically I get to make a character other than Nunu & Willump who rides a mount and I get to stick everything I can remotely justify as being Ferromancy onto this character.

GOALS

Run ‘em all down - Rell is the third champ to have a mount. Aren’t horses just the best?

We fight together - Your outside may be cold but connecting to people is how you move on from trauma... or use that trauma for a massive stun in a teamfight.

I’ll bust you down to scrap! - Rell’s quirk is Ferromancy, the magic of manipulating metal, most specifically through magnetism. Fucking magnets; how do they work?

RACE

Rell is a human... but we can’t always go for Variant Human, so let’s spice it up a bit! She may not have divine blood but I’m sure someone at the academy had healing magic. So since she’s a support with eyes aglow with energy why not go for an Aasimar? More specifically a Scourge Aasimar. Your Charisma increases by 2 and your Constitution increases by 1.

Your glyphs give you a big mix of magic from your friends back at the academy: Darkvision for darkvision, Celestial Resistance for resistance to necrotic and radiant damage, Light Bearer for the Light cantrip, and Healing Hands for a bit of healing magic. Your Scourge subrace also gives you Radiant Consumption at level 3, which I’ll cover when you get there.

If you’re set on playing a human: A Variant Human (+1 CON, +1 STR) with either the Mounted Combatant feat or Heavy Armor Master feat would make sense. There are other feats to consider but these would be the most in-character for Rell.

ABILITITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - Iron stands eternal, and iron is heavy.

14; CHARISMA - You may be a grouchy teenager, and you may also be incredibly awkward when hitting on people, but Charisma is considered as “inner strength” in 5e. You’ve certainly got plenty of that!

13; CONSTITUTION - You are a tank after all, and with the +1 from our race that equals a 14 for a nice boost to HP.

12; DEXTERITY - As heavy as iron is you were trained for peak physical condition. DEX is tied to many things, notably Initiative which is very important for a frontliner.

10; INTELLIGENCE - You went to an academy, but it was a Noxian war academy. Still it’s possible that you got some history lessons.

8; WISDOM - You’re a hothead in both the metaphorical and literal sense. You think asking questions is on the mind of a teenager who’s angry with the world?

BACKGROUND

There’s a lot of backgrounds that would fit Rell, though unfortunately nothing edgy enough like “Test Subject Turned Human Superweapon.” But considering your lifestyle of roaming the Noxian countryside Outlander is probably pretty accurate. You get proficiency in Athletics and Survival and while you’d normally get a Musical Instrument I’d actually suggest you grab Smith’s Tools instead because... yeah duh. You can also learn a Language of your choice so pick whatever you think would constitute Noxian.

Your Wanderer background feature will make sure you survive and thrive on the Noxian countryside. You always remember the general layout of the land, and you can find food and fresh water for yourself and up to five other people each day. And you can even rip some iron out of the earth to make them bowls and cups to eat and drink with!

(Concept art by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - PALADIN 1

Starting off as a Paladin because even if proficiency in Wisdom saves is weird we need the Heavy Armor proficiency because... yeah duh. Speaking of proficiencies take Intimidation because you’re a murder-hungry metalmancer, and I dunno Medicine would make sense since you’re a support and all.

You also get Divine Sense, as the magic in your veins helps you detect celestials, fiends, or undead. And because you’re a support you can use Shattering Strike to heal thanks to Lay on Hands. I could explain both these abilities in detail, but I’m also an angry teenager who’s sick of explaining abilities with insanely long descriptions that you can read for yourself.

LEVEL 2 - PALADIN 2

Second level Paladins get their Fighting Style, and of course for a tank support Defense would be best for more AC. You also get some Ferromancy Spellcasting. (Well technically Divine spellcasting but don’t tell anyone that.) You can prepare a number of Paladin spells equal to your Charisma modifier plus half your Paladin level:

To sharpen your lace (or more realistically pike) a little more Divine Favor will make every blow hurt just a little bit more.

Heroism will help in times of strife to let your anger take over any fear.

To manipulate armor to block some more blows Shield of Faith will increase the target’s AC for a time.

To stun with Attract and Repel Thunderous Smite will do damage and knock enemies prone, making them easier to hit and forcing them to spend time getting up.

But of course you can just as easily ignore all of that in favor of Divine Smite, channeling all your magic and hatred into a burst of Radiant damage on your weapon attacks. Particularly effective against undead!

On Rell’s weapon: I’d suggest a Pike over a Lance because a d12 isn’t worth Disadvantage in melee range, even if you will eventually be performing mounted combat. Feel free to have a lance as backup for when you do start riding a horse.

LEVEL 3 - PALADIN 3

At third level you can choose your Sacred Oath, and I know how much you hate Noxus but Oath of the Crown actually has some pretty good abilities for our purposes. Yup of all the champions to break out the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide for it’s Rell.

You get two Channel Divinity options: Champion Challenge makes enemies unable to move more than 30 feet away from you for a Magnetic Overload, and Turn the Tide will heal everyone of your choice for a d6 plus your Charisma (if they’re below half health) for some Redemption saves.

But both of these Channel Divinities are admittedly situational, so if your DM allows Tasha’s rulings then Harness Divine Power will also let you recover a first level spell slot. Speaking of spells as a Crown Paladin you get Command to twist your enemy’s armor to your whim, and Compelled Duel for a single-target Concentration version of Champion Challenge.

And as a Scourge Aasimar you get now get Radiant Consumption. As an action you can unleash the magic within you, glowing violently and doing Radiant damage equal to half your level to everyone around you. Additionally, once on each of your turns you can deal extra radiant damage when you damage an enemy with an attack or a spell. The extra radiant damage equals your level. You can only go all out just once per long rest, so if your ever wonder why anime protagonists keep their ultimate attack until the end of the fight: it burns you so much you can only use it once.

LEVEL 4 - PALADIN 4

4th level means another Ability Score Improvement but instead we’re going to be taking a Feat. You’re probably thinking we’re going for Mounted Combatant, right?

WRONG! We’re taking Heavy Armor Master, because you can literally control your armor to make it stronger! Your Strength increases by 1 and any damage you take from non-magic weapons is reduced by 3!

You can also prepare another spell, but we’ll wait for...

(Concept art by Riot Games)

LEVEL 5 - PALADIN 5

5th level time for Extra Attack. Two attacks in a turn to pretend you’re the ADC!

Also time for HONSE! Find Steed lets you summon a Warhorse, and others but a Warhorse is probably the most accurate representation of your mount. The steed is considered a celestial, fey, or fiend (your choice), and its intelligence is set to 6. It can also understand one language you can speak, which is good because you can speak to it telepathically.

You can make any spell that only targets you also target your steed, and when it drops to 0 hit points, it disappears, leaving behind no physical form. You can dismiss your steed at any time as an action, causing it to disappear. In either case, casting this spell again summons the same steed, restored to its hit point maximum.

And thanks to your subclass you also learn Warding Bond to bond with an ally, and Zone of Truth to get the Black Rose to admit to what they did. Technically speaking you can’t put a ring on your horse, but as a DM I’d probably allow you to make a 50 gp platinum horse shoe to give the honse a Warding Bond.

LEVEL 6 - PALADIN 6

6th level Paladins get Aura of Protection. You and everyone within 10 feet of you gets a bonus to saving throws equal to your Charisma modifier, because iron stands eternal and so does teenage angst.

You can also prepare another spell like Aid to steel your party’s resolve for any danger. Metal pun unintended.

LEVEL 7 - PALADIN 7

Here’s why we aren’t taking Mounted Combatant. 7th level Crown Paladins get Divine Allegiance, allowing you to use your reaction to take damage for a creature within 5 feet of you. They take no damage, but the damage you take can’t be reduced or prevented in any way.

Sure a 5 foot aura is just objectively worse than the Redemption Paladin’s 10 foot Aura of the Guardian that does literally the exact same thing (pro tip: ask your DM to just increase the range of the aura), but you know what’s always within 5 feet of you? Your horse. So feel free to take hits for your trusty mount. And if an ally is nearby you should probably tank for them too.

LEVEL 8 - PALADIN 8

8th level means an Ability Score Improvement. We’re still riding around in big bulky armor so more Strength to carry that armor would be nice.

You can also prepare another spell like Lesser Restoration for some Tenacity.

(Concept art by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - BARD 1

How’s this for a surprise? Multiclassing into Bard gives you proficiency in one skill, and one musical instrument. Take Animal Handling because you literally summon a horse for yourself, and a Noxian War Drum.

Bards get Bardic Inspiration: d6s equal to your Charisma modifier to help support your allies. They can add the d6 to an ability check, attack roll, or saving throw they make. Buff up their armor, or weaken the enemy’s armor!

But of course as a Bard you get more Spellcasting! Check page whatever-it-is for how multiclassing works. You get two cantrips from the Bard list: Mage Hand will let you magnetize an object closer to you, and Vicious Mockery will let you yell angrily at the enemy not to hurt your friends.

You can also learn 4 spells from the Bard list: you are a support so you can take Cure Wounds for some Summoner: Heal. Disguise Self will help you if Noxian police are looking for you. And both Earth Tremor and Thunderwave will help you manipulate the metal beneath your enemies’ feet and sunder the ground beneath them.

LEVEL 10 - BARD 2

You have a little bit of everything in your glyphs which means Jack of All Trades will always be able to help you. You can also recuperate after a long night on the Noxian countryside thanks to Song of Rest.

You can also learn another spell but we will wait for...

LEVEL 11 - BARD 3

Third level Bards can choose their Bardic College and you did go to the academy to become a weapon after all. College of Valor Bards are instruments of war with Combat Inspiration, letting allies use their Bardic Inspiration to hurt more with their swords or defend themselves better with their armor. “Fight like you mean it. Die for something that matters!” You do also get some skill proficiencies but... you already had them.

You do get Expertise in two skills however! Intimidation comes naturally to a living weapon, and even though it’s technically not a living animal in LoL you still need Animal Handling for your mount from Find Steed.

And finally you can learn spells. If you want the honest truth the only reason we took Bard levels is for Heat Metal, the obligatory Ferromancy spell. But you can also grab Hold Person to lock a foe’s armor in place.

LEVEL 12 - BARD 4

4th level means an Ability Score Improvement, and since we’re now investing in the spellcasting side of things I’d recommend some Charisma to make that better. Remember that more Charisma does mean more Paladin spells, so be sure to hop back there to prepare more.

Because I’m not going to tell you what to prepare, as we need to concentrate on your new cantrip! You are the ferromancer, so Mending is kinda obligatory. You can also learn another spell but again we shall wait for...

LEVEL 13 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration, letting their Bardic Inspiration come back on a Short Rest. Which is good, because your Bardic Inspiration increases to a d8!

You can also learn third level spells now which means we can finally take Mass Healing Word to further our support role, and Hypnotic Pattern for a massive team-wide stun.

(Artwork by @Cookie3v3 on Twitter)

LEVEL 14 - SORCERER 1

You were born with magic after all, so I’d have to go into Sorcerer at some point. It’s just that the other levels were more important, and this kinda ends up being more for flavor than anything. Regardless you get your subclass at level 1 as a Sorcerer and hey I actually get to use the Clockwork Soul for a Ferromancer. You can Restore Balance at level 1, denying Advantage or Disadvantage and turn it into a straight roll.

Oh and hey: more Spellcasting! But this time with a side of Clockwork Magic for Abjuration or Transmutation spells. Since both the spells you’d normally get a little iffy I’d suggest replacing them with both Absorb Elements and Shield for some Magic Resistance and Armor.

You also get four cantrips and two leveled spells. Fire Bolt lets you fling a piece of molten metal at the enemy, because you may as well have a ranged weapon. For some basic metal sundering from the ground Mold Earth will let you manipulate small pockets of iron in the soil. Message will let you coordinate with your teammates without yelling everything in /all. And because you’ve got a ridiculous amount of cantrips you may as well grab Prestidigitation for basic magic manipulation.

For your leveled spells Magic Missile will let you fling metal with the utmost precision, and Burning Hands for burning metal addressed to “whom it may concern.”

LEVEL 15 - SORCERER 2

Second level Sorcerers get a Font of Magic. You get 2 Sorcery Points that can be converted into spell slots... for now. So basically you get another first level spell slot!

LEVEL 16 - SORCERER 3

3rd level Sorcerers get their Metamagic. These are features that use your Sorcery points to augment your spells: to make sure that no one lives to hide the tale of the academy Heightened Spell will give an enemy disadvantage on their first saving throw against one of your spells. Alternatively if you want to both stab and smash Quickened Spell will let you cast a spell as a Bonus Action, to really maximize your APM.

You also get more Clockwork Magic, but since you already have both Aid and Lesser Restoration I’d instead suggest taking Levitate for some reverse-magnetism, and a little spell from Elemental Evil called Maximilian’s Earthen Grasp.

If your opponent doesn’t know how magnets work then Blur can really mess with their ability to hit you. And you know I haven’t taken Flash yet so... Misty Step!

LEVEL 17 - SORCERER 4

Fourth level Sorcerers get an Ability Score Improvement and well we did invest in 3 different spellcasters, so increasing that spellcasting with more Charisma would probably be smart. Remember that more Charisma means more Paladin spells! As well as a stronger Paladin aura and more Bardic Inspiration.

You also get another spell known and honestly there are a lot of great ones at second level of Sorcerer but Shatter is the best for ripping through metal. You also get another cantrip because I guess Sorcerers don’t have enough cantrips: if you get surrounded you can sunder the ground as if swords were bursting around you... in a Sword Burst... yeah...

(Artwork made for Riot Games)

LEVEL 18 - SORCERER 5

5th level Sorcerers get third level spells and I’d hate to admit it but both Dispel Magic and Protection from Energy from Clockwork Magic do make sense for Rell.

But you know what we don’t have enough of? Ground-based attacks. So take Erupting Earth, because your magic is Ferromancy. Not Fireballs or Haste, both of which would probably honestly be stronger. Honestly feel free to drop some of your early Sorcerer spells, because you’ve got more than enough spell slots for the big stuff.

LEVEL 19 - SORCERER 6

6th level Clockwork Soul Sorcerers get the feature we kinda went into this subclass for: Bastion of Law. As an action, you can spend 1 to 5 sorcery points to create a magical ward around yourself or another creature within 30 feet.

The warded creature gets a number of d8s equal to the number of sorcery points spent to create it. When the warded creature takes damage, it can expend any number of those dice to roll them and reduce the damage taken by the total rolled on those dice. This is going to be one of your main supportive features... atop of all your other “main supportive features.”

Oh and you’d get more spells but I kinda want...

LEVEL 20 - SORCERER 7

7th level Sorcerers can learn 4th spells like Sickening Radiance for some good old-fashioned war crimes, and Fire Shield which was added to the Sorcerer spell list thanks to Tasha’s! Clockwork Magic also lets you weaponize your horse with Summon Construct, but I’d suggest grabbing Banishment as your other spell to lock the weak away like they did to the Null.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Fighting together? Guess it's not too bad - You’ve got plenty of good assists. Bardic Inspiration and Bastion of Law shields, and a big pile of spells to help the team.

Nothing gets in; no one gets out - Turns out that manipulating metal means very little can get at you. Strong AC, very good range with Reach to play keep-away in melee and a horse to run around, and of course Aura of Protection to turn your weakest save into a +5! And decent HP to boot!

This is who I am now - It wasn’t my intention when making the character but... turns out Jack of All Trades does in fact make you a jack of all trades. Decent skill checks all around and a crazy good Intimidation check means that while you maybe won’t be the first choice you’ll always be up for the task.

CONS

“Excellence is measured in sacrifice”... or whatever - Three way multiclassing gives you a lot, but not a whole lot of it. Your spell slots go all the way up to 8th level but your best spells max out at 4th level. Smites exist and you can always melt down your spell slots, but perhaps it would’ve been smarter to lessen the number of classes and get more value out of what you have.

That's... that's cool... I'm cool... - Ever heard of the concept known as “choice paralysis?” With so many spells to choose on top of subclass features that take your actions it can be hard to pick what’s right in every scenario. Woes of playing support, where you need to think of everything at once. Can’t just run in and stab.

The helpless fight; the hardened live - Jack of All Trades is good for skill checks... not for combat. You can fight, heal, and sling spells decently but don’t really stand out in any particular area. You’ve got a hundred different tools to deal with the rabble but when your friends go All Out you’ll likely be stuck getting assists.

But you’ve got all a girl could ever ask for: a cute pony and enough armor to survive a ballistic missile. You were built to be a weapon and a damn good weapon you are: as sharp as you are sturdy, and as versatile as you are resourceful. Who cares if you’re a little rough around the edges? You’re sixteen! You’ve got your whole life ahead of you! Minus the lingering trauma of being tortured by your own mother... Eh. Who doesn’t have a tragic backstory nowadays?

(Artwork by @dreadstardraws on Twitter.)

[5eforgemaster]

Conversion Kit: The Assassin

Continuing my Conversion Kit series of articles, we discuss the Assassin subclass! Turn any character into a master of ambushes and terribly efficient killer with just three levels of Rogue.

Below the readmore, you can find Additional Support for this kit, as well as Pitfalls and Character Suggestions.

Kit Overview

Investment Type: Multiclass Dip

Minimum Investment: Take 3 Levels of Rogue, selecting the Assassin archetype at level 3.

Overall Impact: Your character now has the mechanical backing to follow through on clever schemes with lethal force.

Investment

Much like our last conversion kit, once you select the Assassin subclass, you can immediately set off to do what assassins do best. Once again, you'll need to satisfy the multiclassing requirement- just a score of 13 in Dexterity, plus a score of 13 in whatever attribute your other class of choice requires.

You don't necessarily need a Dexterity higher than this, but remember that your bonus to Stealth rolls keys off of it. You can mitigate the problems of a low Dexterity score by taking proficiency in Stealth and using the Rogue's Expertise feature to double your proficiency bonus.

Truth be told, you can abandon Stealth entirely if it doesn't fit your concept. However,  you'll want to keep in mind that the assassin's primary feature requires Surprise. While by the Rules as Written, Stealth is the only way to gain surprise, many GMs will allow betrayals or sudden strikes to grant surprise.

Perhaps you can take advantage of Deception or Persuasion to lure your target into a false sense of security, or use a spell like Dimension Door or Invisibility to suddenly appear behind (or even before) a foe and strike them down.

All that said, regardless of the method you'd like to use, you're very likely to want stealth proficiency. It's the least reliant on GM interpretation and applies to the greatest variety of situations.

Narrative Impact

Though the most apparent Narrative for a character using this kit is that of a professional murderer, it is by no means the only route you can take.   Your character is now mechanically incredibly reliant on first strikes. Hunters-turned-warriors (such as most rangers) gravitate to this approach to combat by default, but characters lacking the stomach for battle might turn to this path to end fights quickly. Elite warriors might prefer ambush tactics, and even certain paladins may find a swift death to be all that their foes deserve. In truth, you could utterly ignore this kit's narrative impact and carry on as if you had never taken a single level in another class. However, I'm inclined to see that as something of a wasted opportunity to set your character apart- where did your character learn to fight dirty? Do they see it as a necessary evil and regret their actions, or do they believe they're justified as there's no justice on the battlefield?

Mechanical Impact

From a mechanical perspective, the Assassin offers lethal first-strikes. Whatever your method of attack- a greatsword, a spell, thrown dagger- your Assassinate feature guarantees you a Critical Hit, as long as the attack hits a surprised target.

I cannot emphasize enough how unbelievably good a Guaranteed Critical Hit is in Fifth Edition D&D, and believe me, if I had a way to highlight that bolded, italicized, underlined phrase I would use it. I thought about including a gif of someone slapping a desk. I need you to see those words and realize what they mean.

A critical hit multiplies all of your damage dice. If you can find bonus dice, you're going to hit incredibly hard. If you have multiple attacks, they will all be critical hits. A critical hit on a Paladin's Smite or Rogue's sneak attack is a lucky break. A full round's worth of critical hits on a Fighter's attack routine or a Wizard's Scorching Ray is a dream. Get the drop on an enemy, and that dream is your reality.

The simple truth is, the Assassinate feature alone is enough to enable ambushes as a tactic.

Kit Support

There are several feats you can take advantage of to make this kit more effective. However, even if feats aren't allowed in your game, or all of yours are already accounted for, you're not out of luck. If you keep some rules of thumb in mind, you'll find yourself faring better than someone who approached their build haphazardly.

This list is in no particular order. This is not an optimization guide, and I don't want to commit to the math necessary to rank these options, nor do I want to limit your creativity. That said, as an Assassin, you want to look for:

More attacks. These are easy enough to get: engage in two weapon fighting, pick a class that has the Extra Attack feature, or find a way to get Haste applied to you.

Extra dice for your attacks: Smite and Sneak Attack are good examples. If you have your eyes on a higher level Rogue feature, the extra sneak attack dice will help with this (if you're using an appropriate weapon).

Similarly, spells that grant multiple attack rolls such as Eldritch Blast or spells that have large dice counts like Chaos Bolt. Both of those can be picked up by classes that can't normally access them using the Magic Initiate feat.

You might also consider certain feats, depending on your build and game:

Alert gives you a large bonus to initiative. Depending on how your GM runs Surprise, you may need to win initiative to take advantage of Assassinate- Alert all but guarantees that you'll move first, especially if your Dexterity is already high.

Lucky adds some reliability to your assassination attempts by letting you try again when you roll poorly. Lucky is good to the point of being considered 'cheese' by the community, and many games ban it, but there is objectively no better way to ensure you don't ruin your big moment.

Skulker is somewhat similar to Lucky for ranged characters, though not as effective. If you're a ranged Assassin, this keeps your position from being revealed. You'd be hard pressed to convince your DM that the enemy is still surprised, but maybe you can retreat and try again. The other miscellaneous stealth bonuses are a nice plus.

Spell Sniper doubles your range for attack roll based spells- it'll be easier to surprise foes from a couple of hundred feat away. As a bonus, you ignore all but total cover and even get access to an attack roll based cantrip if you didn't have one already.

Actor might improve your odds of pulling off a social skill based assassin, just check with your GM to make sure they'll rule in your favor before you invest too heavily in the approach.

Pitfalls

There's not a whole lot you can do as a player to make this kit go wrong. Your biggest obstacles are overspecialization and, potentially, your DM.

In the first case, there will be times when Assassinate will fail you. Perhaps the situation isn't right, perhaps you missed your attack, maybe the enemy got the drop on you. None of that matters though- just keep in mind when making choices about your character that not everything needs to improve their critical damage. Dealing hundreds of points of damage with your first strike only matters if you pull it off.

In the second case, some DMs are combative. You might have a DM that feels as though you're somehow "cheating" by assassinating big threats and coaxing your party towards ambush tactics. Some DMs will simply grumble about it and you may need to back off somewhat.

Others will attempt to sabotage you, either by presenting scenarios that make assassinations difficult or impossible, overwhelmingly pitting you against foes that are impossible to surprise or are immune to critical hits, or, in the most egregious cases, abusing their power and arbitrarily depriving you of surprise when you should have it.

The best thing you can do here is keep a level head and talk to your DM. They likely don't actively want to ruin the game for you, and perhaps they have a reasonable motive- maybe you're taking the spotlight away from other players or even making the game less fun for the DM themselves (believe it or not, this is a reasonable concern for the DM- they should have simply been honest with you in the first place, but berating them now won't help either of you).

Whatever your DM's reasons, you can likely compromise if they're honest with you. If your DM gives you any variation of "this is your fault for picking a specialized feature" or "it's just the way it is", you may need to ask if you can rebuild, as they're unlikely to sympathize with your position. Ultimately, your playstyle may just not align with the DM's or group's. There are hundreds of articles about conflict resolution, some specifically tailored for D&D groups, so for the moment I'll table the specifics and perhaps update this article with a link to a quality one at a later date.

A Few Suggestions

I don't want to leave this article on a low note, so I'll close with some classes you can combine with the Assassin subclass for some exciting (if somewhat obvious) character concepts:

Way of Shadow Monk: This monk path offers several supernatural abilities relating to darkness, silence, and hiding- not the least of which is the ability to teleport between patches of shadow. If that doesn't scream "ninja" to you, I don't know what will. The monk also has access to Flurry of Blows, which can make your assassinations quite potent.

Oath of Vengeance Paladin: The Paladin's Smite might be the easiest on-demand way to take advantage of your Assassinate feature. Very few of this Archetype's features synergize with this kit, but access to Haste and Hunter's Mark doesn't hurt, and the narrative of an avenger fits well with the style of combat you'll be employing. If you liked Pathfinder's inquisitor class, this may be for you.

Fiend Patron Warlock: Eldritch Blast is always good, but you have an extra edge with it. Honestly, there's not much too this other than having an easy on-demand ranged damage option, but something about being a contract killer for your Patron seems like an exciting narrative. Works just as well for other patrons, but the fiend seems most likely to employ contract killers. You can take the Blade Pact Boon and Eldritch Smite invocations if you want to step on the Paladin's turf.

With some examples out of the way, I'll take my leave. There's near limitless potential for this kit, as there's some synergy to be had with nearly every class, so you can experiment with confidence.