#which at least for the moment is called
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“Then you must have thought about it,” she said. “About exactly how much you would sacrifice to save them.”
Writers, reblog this with the last sentence you wrote from your WIP
#my writing#process thoughts#the last thing I ACTUALLY changed in my working doc was the name of one of my WIP fics#and a few small edits before that#but this is the most recent full line#I didn't write at all over the weekend so it's been a bit#there's a bunch of different scraps of multiple stories in this one doc#but this is from the fic I just renamed#which at least for the moment is called#Alchemy#renamed from The Baker and I definitely like this better#OUAT s1 AU that may or may never see the light of day#but sometimes I just like writing down the bits of story that come together in my head#just for the fun of reading it myself
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smile, iruma! | hey ive been here before
#iruma suzuki#clara valac#azz alice asmodeus#love trio#m!ik#mairimashita! iruma kun#welcome to demon school iruma kun#irumas expression in the first one went through lotsa phases#lotsa extreme frusterated and sickly faces#which felt a little ooc to me cuz irumas someone who smiles in the face of despair#but also we’ve seen iruma at his most frusterated and fed up in reaction to his parents#(at least until kalegos brother told him he was disgusting which btw we should jump him for that)#(and SORTA when gyari calls him ugly but that was less serious lol)#anyway i decided to try going for a very tired forced smile for this#abuse mention#<just in case#to me this is irumas parents presenting iruma to a camera for a family portrait so they can show off their darling little boy to friends#meanwhile darling little boy has been eating trash behind the mall they found him at#so hes tired and hungry cuz the last time he saw em was two months ago otherwise he would have faked it a little better#i think in this moment hes frustrated and a little disgusted by them#enough to almost deny the treats they dangle over him#but rule one (1) is iruma suzuki that cannot say no#im not sure i conveyed the little micro expression kinda frusteration that i wanted to but its close nough#style change for love trio suddenly iruma has lips my bad LOL#suits the theme tho! i think irumas genre; art style; life changes when he met those two#clarazz would hate being compared to irumas dusty ass parents in any way even as foils sorry to them for this post actually 😭#ANYWAY…#did u know love trio have the same smile?#fanart#my art
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"Jason was the happy robin" this, "jason was the angry robin" that. Let's all be fully honest here Jason was the lonely robin
#It gets worse the more i think about it aiguaoughhh#they pretty much retconned the people he was close to before the crisis. he only interacts with dick like once or twice#ive never seen him with barbara#he had no team#in terms of school he had rena(?) and then 3 friends that show up in an annual and never again#and obviously with the whole secret identity it hardly can be a close friendship. esp with how little theyre shown#in terms of super friends he had Danny and Kid Devil. which. one is mentioned off hand and theyre never seen together#and the other is from a short story and never brought up again#alfred has his praises sung but we never really see him connect with jay#all he had was BRUCE. and the only way to ever be with bruce is to be robin#is it really any wonder he chased after his mother? is it any wonder who chose to trust someone he hardly knew?#dc liveblog#jason todd#i feel so bad for him all the time for forever#ive just started reading comics after his death but before his resurrection. the hallucination jason era#and its seems to be shaping up to be with him written as the angry robin who never listened#which i Know is because of the writers. but in universe? it just feels like jason wasnt understood or known at all#doylist vs watsonian moment as they say#dc comics#batman comics#and he became a symbol of failure to batman So Quickly. not a memory but a reminder#and every trophy from his time as robin was taken out of the batcave. and every moment as jason was removed from (at least) bruces room#he was on call/on a list as a backup titan if they needed help but he wasnt With them. they teamed up twice#i cant remember if he meant it towards blood specifically or in general rn but he fully admitted to not being good/experienced enough#they didn't really know him and he didn't really know them#wait fuck was rena all pre-crisis. devastating. he stopped going on patrols n being robin for awhile when she was his gf#of course by then he was already A Hero who cant fully ignore how he can help so he eventually was like yeah we should stop a little#obviously there was that catwoman arc going on and i feel writers just liked keeping him away alot. but ough. he was so quick to stop when#there was someone There. and robin didn't have ti feel like all he had#anyway crisis got rid of her im sure. like harvey. when does 'pre and post crisis' actually start bc its not at the crisis its issues after
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i could go on and on on the importance of shunkun and yuu being narrative foils of each other and how devastating it makes things
but nah, don't be silly, why would I express this sentiment on a serious drawing when i can draw fluff!!!😊😊 (copium)
progress dump... from vision to the end!!!
Vision->Spirit drawing->Sketch->Details on top of Sketch->Lineart->Color!!!!
"what is a spirit drawing michael" spirit. i inject spirit of my vision into the canvas and hope it makes sense later somehow💜 my process is mysterious in its ways.... not even i know what is going on(゜∀。)

anyway heres an image of the many. many glitches and difficulties i have to face now that my computer finally sniped clip studio😭 but i never give up I dont let the computer stop me
#re:kinder#rekinder#my art#yuuichi mizuoka#shunsuke takano#parun#fanart#this one is thanks to a certain post i saw a few days ago in tumblr. i just had to draw it as them#which was made by @hairscare !!! so shoutout to them for awakening this drawinf#i saw it and i inmediately knew what i had to do#BECAUSE GENUINELY i will never get over the sheer tragedy that these two are similar in many ways#yet the circumstances has made it so while one could fight and keep going with life the other gave up entirely and died??? hello???😭😭#ITS DEVASTATING BECAUSE OF WHAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN IF THINGS WERE DIFFERENT#BUT THEY WERENT FROM THE START OF THE GAME THERE WAS NO GOING BACK#i constantly think about the fact that shunkun was having dreams of yuu essentially crying for help FOR A GOOD BIT#like look . game starts out he acknowledges this and its. like. who even is that boy that dream again#WHICH WOULD ALREADY PLACE IT SO IT **AT LEAST** HAS HAPPENED TWICE. SO FOR TWO DAYS AT MINIMUM#BUT THEN YOU PLACE THE TIME WHERE SHUNKUN WAS AWAY FROM HOME#WHICH IS DAYS. PLURAL DAYS#AND THE MASSACRE COULD ONLY HAVE POSSIBLY STARTED THE MORNING OF THE DAY HE COMES BACK#because the other kids that survived woke up that same day and were extremely confused so that didnt happen the moment shunkun left#it pretty much happened shortly before arriving and thus the same day he left#which . by the way nothing to do i think it was intentionally premeditated so all the participants of the friends game could be there#BUT THE POINT IS. MULTIPLE DAYS IT HAD BEEN MULTIPLE DAYS SINCE THOSE DREAMS STARTED#so the mere idea that there was a slim point where things could have possibly been different if if that call for help would have possibly#jesus cheisr they mess me up#THE SLIM PERIOD OF TIME IS ITS AWFUL its .#AND THERES MORE OF THIS THERES MORE OF THIS IN ME REGARDING THE TRAGEDY OF THESE TWO BEING FOILS#BUT THIS IS A POST OF A FLUFF DRAWING SO LETS LEAVE IT THERE SHALL WE😁😁😁#they make me sick. i will die /lighthearted
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that moment when your laboratory partner swallowed the demon core and became one with it, so now you have to monitor it so that both of you wouldn't die from radiation. that's rough buddy
song: Marshall Maximizer by Hiiragi Magnetite ft. KAFU
#pinescone#gravity falls dipper#otgw wirt#dipper pines#i'm calling this au.... uhhhh#Gravity Falls Over The Core#pinescone au#this is an au where wirt and dipper are both scientists and they have this demon core that's the size of a jawbreaker#the core just appeared out of nowhere and initially wirt was against bringing it but dipper's morbid curiosity won over in the end#cue It's Always Sunny in Philadelpha music with titlecard “The Demon Core Almost Explodes One Day”#before they almost died wirt decided it would be good if he ingested the core since at least if they're going down one of them would still#be alive#aka dipper#however for some sick miracle wirt is now still alive and the crisis has been averted#however the problem now is that. he's THE demon core now#which is why he has a screwdriver on his mouth#the moment his teeth touch everything he sees dies from the Super Blue Death Beam coming out of his face#while wirt is now used to this#dipper does NOT like the situation at all#chaos ensues as they both figure out how to live with a ticking time bomb aka wirt#....you can call this Core AU instead of the long name ahsjkasdjksdak#okay that's all#gravity falls#otgw#over the garden wall#gravity falls fanart#otgw fanart
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It is like day five of posting and I already had to start blocking people and deleting stuff out of my inbox, what is going on.
#for a moment I lived in a universe where people wouldn't get intense or weird about this but it didn't last long#ufff#why so aggressive about silly little art?#also for the record if you call my art shit or anything like that and mean it sarcastically - I still don't appreciate that#like it comes off rude? at least for me?#I know this is very subjective which is why I don't call people out on it but here I am saying it: I don't like that
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The more I think about it the more I want to write my Theresa-in-KCD2 fic. Specifically so I can write Theresa stuck in Maleshov with Hans as his 'serving boy' (everyone can tell she's a woman but no one knows what to do with it so she stays as is). They'd be on the brink of murdering each other on the second day :-)
#they'd start out extremely antagonistic towards each other#but over time I think Hans would finally start to see her as a person#not without hitting on her at least once — to which she threatens to stab him#she gets her period and Hans thinks she's dying#he teaches her how to read and how to play chess#she beats him at dice constantly#she sees through Brabant immediately but knows there's no use in calling him out so she just pointedly ignores him#she gets a massive lightbulb moment when she sees Henry reunite with Hans#theresa of skalitz
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going to post a bunch of modeling (mermaid & otherwise) work over here i think. I usually do more of that on my dedicated instagram/fb side accounts for it, but i'm just sick of those platforms. but essentially, my photographer friend I work with a ton is going to be entering end-of-life hospice probably in the next month, and I hate how little of our work together I actually have posted/shared online at all considering we have SO MUCH of it. and i think if i wait too long to share it it'll just make me even more sad.
i think part of how emotionally i'm taking this is that during our last big photoshoot weekend a couple years ago he first got diagnosed with cancer. He went off to have a "routine" doctor's appointment while I did makeup for a photoshoot, ended up coming back an hour later than expected with an emergency melanoma removal, and we had to redo our underwater shoot plans around it since he couldn't submerge the wound in water for a week. that didn't end up being the exact aggressive cancer he's been fighting over the past year, but it was the first step/harbinger, though at the time i think all of us assumed it was a "close call" scenario and would be over/dealt with in a few months. and not that it'd be our last big adventure photos--we would hike, technical climb, scramble up shady cliff edges, mountain bike a couple miles into the backcountry, and more to get to some locations for our shots--i was excited to have a photographer willing to go to remote areas, he was happy to have a model willing to stand at cliff edges and bike 3 miles in full face makeup to get the shots he had in mind. i'm going to miss him a lot.
#idk man. model-photographer relationships are like. a very specific sort of connection that sounds vain to even try to describe#but making art together/understanding the vision of the other person/communicating/dropping or accessing whatever vulnerability#is called for in the moment is just. a whole thing#and theres so many creepy photogs or guys-with-cameras(& ulterior motives) and etc#and so to have such a good working relationship with someone who WAS so much An Artist & great at what he did & always comfortable around#is so rare and its not fair that one of the best ones gets dealt this hand#meanwhile at least 2 photographers who crossed boundaries with me during shoots are just out there doing fine still#anyway#ramblings#wharglbargle#what a loss#oops started thinking about the time i told him if i ever get married i wanted him to do our wedding/elopement pics. which was his main indu#industry (vs artistic) focus. oops im gonna cry again
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Just randomly sharing, but in my next-gen, Soos has two sons named Stan and Ford. Im not so sure why, but I reasoned to myself that Soos might also be able to form a bond with Ford eventually so he decided to name another son after his mentor's brother
aw that's so cute! i really do hope the two of them become close (they've known each other for months by the time tbob happens after all) while still having culture clash of being different types of nerds from different generations
#ford is also a frequent character in soos' stan fics that he will not stop writing#but at least he gets to be a monstermon champion (ford still does not know what this pokemon-esque series is)#......dipper and candy also being canon monstermon fans so them helping by assigning which one ford would use#lmao it being said that soos is basically the audience/fandom equivalent who gets to be in the show#tots was probably one of the greatest moments in his life#(soos quit calling your sorta uncle 'the harbinger of lore'!!!)
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i love madoka magica however i dont think we as a fandom talk enough about how tragic madoka herself is. probably because the narrative itself steers you away from thinking about her personally. shes not a character shes a desire that homura has, shes a force of good, shes homura's foil. but those are all madoka's narrative roles but madoka herself as a person is not really looked at because we are viewing this world from an unreliable narrator(homura) who only sees madoka as those things. The best thing homura could have done for madoka was give up on her, to let her go. because every time we go back in time the image of madoka is distorted, she loses more of herself every regression of homura's as she tries harder and harder to save her. We don't even know what madoka originally wished for to become a magical girl in the original timeline. and she actually acts quite differently than the madoka we meet. shes a lot more honest and caring and bold. by the time homura's has reached the actual anime madoka has been reduced by the sands of time to a figment of herself. she has no wants or desires of her own beyond wanting to do good and help her friends and when all her humanity is stripped away is when she finally acends to godhood because thats all thats left of her. an ideal and a faith in her. madoka kaname died a long time ago and all that is left is her ghost.
#of course homura doesnt care anymore because she cant go back she can only go forward cuz if she gives up she killed madoka for nothing#she could have left her pass away with dignity but now shes a ghost stuck in a web of time and the only thing she can do is keep trying#to save her#i feel like inately homura knows this but she doesnt want to admit to herself thats shes the real one who killed madoka kaname#this is a very charitable reading of homura#homura died too but its a clear moment because homura is our narrator#homura akemi will never come back madoka kaname will never come back#but life goes on anyway for homura#heres my truth#i loved rebellion but im actually a bigger fan of the original anime's ending so im glad it seems like red ribbon homu is coming back#i thought that ending was a lot more hopeful and beautiful and rebellion was kind of a downer but i always accepted they were parallel#and seems im right based on posters#for walpurgis#madoka uses one of my favorite literary devices which is the underuse of a character#i dont know whats it called but i love it when they dont outright develop a character usually to signal an upholding of the status quo#i already explained how madoka is not shown as a character but they do this in princess tutu too with mytho#mytho is a character from a book hes not real in the way that the others are and therefore cant actually change like the others can#hes always the focus of others and never the one thinking of others#i mean yeah he spends like the whole anime thinking about tutu but thats PART of his book its not him as a person#anyway ive been talking too much but i wanna bring up my favorite subtle use of this in takopi's original sin#the boy#idk his name rn lmao#hes straight up not present for the bulk of the manga and hes legit just absent from the ending scene despite being one point of a triangle#at first that weirded me out like??? he doesnt get closure???#but the reason was he didnt need it#the focus and moral is that those girls were 'weird' unable to be normal (because of trauma) and their closure was theyre at least together#but he doesnt need that because hes already normal hes the status quo a benchmark for the reader for the reader to judge the characters off#and the characters to judge eachother off of#anyway anyway sorry this has been so long#i had to get all of that out of me
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I wish we got more moments of the Walkers being Family like. The opening of “Brave New World” where Hesh says he let Logan sleep a bit longer because he figured he could use the rest set the bar too high for the rest of the campaign. You don’t really get anything like that line again - there’s the “Sin City” and “The Ghost Killer” cutscenes as well but those are both high tension, ‘holy shit don’t hurt my brother/I am dying son but I’m proud of you’ lines. And honestly Hesh’s “All or Nothing” Rorke File where he talks about his misplaced guilt after losing Elias…it’s almost a bit weird that he doesn’t reference how Logan is handling it at all (especially considering he was the one manhandled into shooting their father).
I guess the first unlockable Rorke File where Elias talks about taking the boys to the beach counts, and Hesh’s “Logan’s got my back, and I got his. He’s my brother.” but it just feels a bit stilted compared to the natural tenderness of the “Brave New World” opening.
#ra speaks#personal#cod ghosts#call of duty ghosts#david hesh walker#logan walker#elias walker#beans are you seriously complaining about a decade old game’s character writing?#yes. yes I am.#there’s way more to complain about to the whole. everything that is the ghosts worldbuilding.#but as someone with lil bros they really dropped the ball on drawing the connection between hesh and logan#hesh should have been panicking on comms more in the hunted that’s all I’m saying#or at least give me a post mission ‘jesus fuck thank good you’re alright we really need to get you an aac device bro’ moment#oh your nonverbal brother got separated from everyone in a fucking plane crash? no need to worry a friend saw him get snagged on some trees#(which he could very much have been dead for as you do see other soldiers corpses caught up in the trees)#also the Angst™ of Elias’ death being so focused on Hesh like…bro you didn��t pull the trigger.#speaking of like. did hesh even tell the other ghosts. elias is just listed as KIA in the file.#hmmmm#<- has spent all day achievement hunting and replaying levels multiple times
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cute guy winked at me while he was wearing a milan tracksuit........ i might self combust
#there's a 99.9% chance it means nothing#maybe even more#do cishet guys wink at...other men? tbh i don't even know if he thinks i'm a woman or a man or. confused about my gender#there's like equal chances for all three#and also honestly i'm even uglier as a “woman” than i am if you look at me as a man#i'm slightly better if you see me as nonbinary bc i mean that's who i am. like i'm still ugly but. slightly better#he might actually even know i'm trans lol#bc (wait for this) he's the son of one of my landlords (still not entirely sure which one. that family has 600 people and half of them are#legally my landlords/ladies)#(i'm exaggerating of course)#but like at least some people in that family know i'm trans bc my legal name is still my deadname but i try as much as possible to live as#nico so i had to be like hey that's my legal name but call me nico.. and he....#so who knows maybe they spread the word lol i would hope not but do i trust cis people? absolutely not. never#anyway all this to say... what was i saying. he probably just acts like that with everyone who's around his age or worse just the women 🥲#he's so cute tho.. and i've met him a few times lately bc he's been helping out at the family shop i guess and he's always so nice to me#i mean i'm a customer so he probably has to lol he's good at it tho. better than the guy who works there all the time (his dad ?)#and the first time i met him recently i was going to pick up a package and he remembered my name?!? we never rly talked#he was like “nico right?” with the most beautiful smile.......... that's the moment i was like oh no. i never have to see this guy again#unfortunately i have 3 more times and. oh no. i can't be getting a crush that's horrible i don't want it#nico rambles#<- never has this tag been truer to the nature of a post (lie)
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Things keep haaaaappening today. Everything happens!
#tales from diana#there's at least one incident or conflict every block today#i had to have a kid taken out of my last class bc he was being an absolute nuisance#i got as mad as i ever get at students. which is not to raise my voice mind you#i talk w a pretty no-nonsense tone generally#but this kid i was talking directly to for MINUTES was just pretending not even to KNOW i was speaking to him#even though i literally came up to him and used his name#eventually he was like '...what did u say?' like a smartass#and i legit just looked him in the eyes for a moment. no expression on my face but a stiff lip#'i know it would be very funny to you if i got furious. take your stuff and move over there'#and that still didn't get him to behave or do his work and he started talking on the phone w his sister#for some fucking reason. i told him hang up you're at school and a teacher is talking to you#wouldn't. for minutes.#i just walked away and called admin to get him out of my room#byyyyyye!
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like this for a one liner* from eddie, hope or stiles
#STARTER CALL.#my three freaks at the moment#*a paragraph of text but one line of dialogue probably honestly knowing me#specify which one if u want but i don't mind picking for this#but multi’s i don't mind picking either but u gotta let me know from who or at least a fandom because i get overwhelmed with Choices#or i can use that generator thing that could be fun let me know if u want that#gonna try to do some short easy stuff so then maybe i will sleep
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season 2 of the sitcom i wrote when i was 13 is gonna give me an existential crisis oh my goddddd
#for context: i've been taking notes on each episode on this ''rewatch'' (it's just scripts but i'm calling it a rewatch)#and in season 1 i averaged half a page of notes per episode. sometimes slightly more sometimes slightly less#season 2 episode 1 was THREE PAGES OF NOTES. and the episodes since then have also all been over a page#there's just so many fascinating layers i put into this likely unintentionally#i really want to make at least a video essay about it if not a full on rewatch podcast#bc season 1 was fairly weak with a few high points and unintentionally funny moments#but season 2 is just like. here are the things i'm insecure about now let me morph the comedy around it#which is like a normal part of being a comedian. but to see myself doing that for the first time at 13??? fucking WILD
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a big part of the queer online kid to queer online young adult progression for me was losing all interest in labels. not in a distasteful way!! just. losing interest .....
#ive got a big post in the drafts about how ive found it impossible to exist outside of the queer identity structure these days#and the pros and cons of that#and i havent published it because i fear it giving off some anti-labeling-for-anyone-ever aura. which is not the vibe !!!#but talking entirely personally. yeah nowadays i feel weird even calling myself genderqueer!! listing a pronoun preference.#advertising myself as a lesbian at the forefront of my general human identity#because i am those things and people can refer to me in those ways!! absolutely#but ultimately my queerness is a lot more fluid than i gave it credit for as a kid/teen#and i think it defines less of me than i thought it did#or at least its such an intrinsic part of me that i can afford to look at a lot of other aspects of what makes me me#and this is all just my personal very privileged experience!! this isnt universal queerhood 101. but that makes it interesting!!#i dont know im having a very coming of age moment this year and im thinking a lot about identity. this is my diary welcome internet
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