#which didnt apply for a lot of other concepts back in the day

[irinou]

the x games ended up being a considerably smaller less relevant part of my life than i thought they would be when i was like 6

[dreamsy990]

so 358/2 days, amiright? heres my thoughts

this game is just. god its an emotional rollarcoaster

i guess ill start with the things i dont like!! which is mostly the gameplay. i dont really mind the mission structure shockingly (i like being able to roam around but having a clear goal makes things easier for my adhd ass, and i think the miniature storylines are very good for the most part) but i simply could Not get into the combat. especially coming off of kh2 it feels so stiff and unfun to play the only part of the game where i enjoyed the combat was fighting riku at the very end. i think the panel system is okay but i dont like that levels take up space. why did they do that.

story-wise, i dont like the retcons!! a lot of the ones i take issue with are very minor but things like roxas only fighting riku once instead of the implied multiple times (even the dialogue doesnt make sense when you change that, why does roxas say 'how many times do i have to beat you' when theyve only fought once?) are the kinds of inconsistencies that just annoy me.

im also a little bit annoyed at the very concept of this game at all. i think roxas worked just fine as a character without this game. it feels sort of unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. also, xion. i love xion, dont get me wrong, but i dont think she adds anything to the series over all. thats not to say she doesnt add anything to this game because shes a great character and i love her, but shes just. kind of like this game in that if you got rid of her i dont think it would really change the narrative so much.

BUT DESPITE THAT ALL!!!!!!!! i fucking ADORE this game. it is genuinely so full of charm and soul that i just cant bring myself to dislike it. i think this is one of the best written games in terms of dialogue. every scene (at least for me) hit exactly as emotionally hard as i think it was meant to. i was laughing at demyx's antics and crying at xions death and yelling at saix and i think thats exactly how the game is meant to be seen.

days at its heart is a slice of life. its working a 9 to 5 its going through a depressive episode its losing friends its grieving its making fun of your coworkers its living. its a game about life and i love that.

this game really did make me forget that axel roxas and xion dont get a happy ending. i spent so much time looking forward to them making up that i forgot that roxas ran away. hell i almost forgot that xion died.

days is emotional and its story and its characters are just so fucking good. the conflicts all felt very real and you can tell exactly where everyones coming from. the way axel roxas and xion fall apart hits so fucking close to home. but god damnit if axel had any good communication skills like half of this could be avoided

its also one hell of a love letter to axel's character. hes always been one of my favorites (he recently earned first place) and i think this game does him a lot of justice. hes trying to do good. he wants to keep everything together he wants to be there for his friends he wants to make things right but he just cant. its just AUGH its so fucking good

that thing about axel's characterization really also applies to roxas. i dont have much to say about him beyond the fact that i think it does his character very well. also tism. hes so autism.

i kind of like the very limited graphics too. sue me i enjoy low quality games. the hands are not animated and they all have two expressions (blinking and not blinking) and their weapons are flat and im living for it. the very few fully animated cutscenes are good too!!

the (real, i dont count riku) final boss is unfortunately very easy. you can just stand directly in front of her and mash a she wont hit you its too easy but vector to the heavens did mess me up a bit. also earlier scene but "ill always be there to bring you back" with the other promise playing over it? fucked me up man. yoko shimomura is once again killing it

i cant believe roxas didnt get to go to the beach.

i have to give this game a 9/10. its writing is incredible but the gameplay could use a lot of work. its just not fun to play. but again the characters, emotions, and music all make up for that tenfold.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

Are you more of a cbt girlie or are you more into psychoanalysis? Have you integrated your shadow self? What are your thoughts on conversational therapy?

hmm well i've never had cbt or psychoanalysis done on myself in any meaningful type of way so i have no preference ^^ tried a cbt workbook once but it never made mucb impact. conventional therapy i always found to be completely useless for myself, and ive tried many times since i was a teen. never brought me any relief or self awareness i didnt already possess. rn i do biweekly OCD therapy which is kinda helping cus its more focused and actually provides a lot of useful knowledge i can apply day to day when the spirals come up.

as for shadow self, ive been worki ng hard to integrate it since around 2018, and i believe it is a lifelong practice, but i've made progress for sure. tbh what helped me most was having a few close friends who were willing to call me out on my bullshit back when i was really downbad. i was so hurt & embarrassed at first but idk where i'd b at now if they weren't strong enough to pull the trigger. like i was totally stuck in loops of self-victimization , perpetuating my own misery, i see it all so clearly now in retrospect n im forever grateful they trusted me enough to give me tough love!! they did it because they rly believed i could change myself, and they were right. my shadow will always exist but i have compassion for her now, and its easy to see thru the pain she feels just like how my friends did back then. see it for what it is and not act on it.

love honesty & community is the answer, imo. Strenghten your self concept so u can do more for others. learn to comfort your shadow in non destructive ways instead of trying to run from it or outright abolish its existence. thanks for the question hope ur well, have a good day anon 🙏

[twicesserafim]

After Breakup Jealousy

Third Person Pov:

Sana broke up with you a little over 3 weeks ago because you guys had distanced, which was true but the worst part of it was that you were a member of twice and you're currently on tour, with Sana.

You made solo music as well, kinda of like nayeons solo thing but it's been since the beginning so 2015-2016 ish. You always preformed one song at the end, half of the time twice was on stage with you, the other half of the time they weren't.

In this case, they weren't. Honestly, you blamed yourself for part of you and Sana breaking up, you would say that you didnt give her enough attention or more like, you let her go. And you both just gave up on fighting so you let go.

Which is where a song in your new album came from. It was a heartbreak album, you were already writing it before you and sana broke up, because your concept was always stages in a love story/love life line.

(The song you're performing Be alright by dean lewis the acoustic guitar version, you were singing but also playing the guitar) The song was about cheating but half of it still applied to Sana.

The lyrics were translated from english to korean on the screen back stage where the members were watching, you and sana had a 3 year difference, you were still the maknae.

All of the members cared for you, a lot. they still saw you as a baby, they weren't mad at sana because it wasn't her fault but they couldn't exactly say they were happy with the situation.

The last minute of the song, your voice got a little shaky but you kept yourself together, blinking away a few tears that were in your eyes. all of the members felt bad, it was obvious.

A few were bitting their bottom lips, inside of their cheeks and some even pouting at the sight and the lyrics. You acted as if everything was okay, even the members were shocked, they couldn't see your face when you were singing because you barely looked up.

You didn't look like you were crying. You didn't look heartbroken, you didn't look upset. you just looked like.. you. Once the song ended you went backstage. You could feel everyone's eyes on you.

Tzuyu was very rarely touchy with the members, you were like her. But the thing is you two are the same age and have similar heights, you're taller by a little more than an inch.

You two weren't touchy but you were each other's source of comfort. So tzuyu immediately grabbing your wrist and pulled you into her lap. Tzuyu wrapped her arms around your waist.

Resting her head on your shoulder. "you okay? how're you feeling?" "i'm okay" "you sang moral of the story yesterday and you sang be alright today, i don't think you're okay" Tzuyu mumbled as you sighed.

"i could be better, but i could also be worst." "when was the last time you slept?" "uh, few days ago, i think?" You felt a glare coming your way so you turned your eye and met Sana's eyes.

You looked away, turning back to tzuyu. You were both saying this quietly so none of the members could hear plus they were having a conversation of their own. "up thinking about her?" "mhm"

Tzuyu just nodded with a slightly sigh, she pulled you off her lap, laying down on the sofa, patting the spot beside her, you lied down beside her, tzuyu just held you, rubbing small circles on your back.

Until the two of you slowly drifted off to sleep. "guys.." Mina whispered as she pointed to the two sleeping figures on the couch above them, sana scoffed looking at the two of you.

"you aren't aloud to be jealous, sana. you broke up with her." "i know okay? i know. i broke up with her because we distanced but it does not! it does not mean i don't love her, more than anyone or anything in the world."

"then why break up?" "i dont know. i felt like we would've been better off as friends but you can't be friends with someone you're in love with" "at least you know, but it seems like it's too late, she seems pretty into tzuyu"

"yeah, the only person she was this touching with was you when she liked you and when you were dating" "well don't point it out? i'm talking to her when she wakes up." "don't even try, they seem so into each other."

"no. i'm not losing her" Sana mumbled as jihyo let out a sarcastic chuckle. "you already did." those words made sana's heart sting. She glared at jihyo before just grabbing you and pulling you of tzuyu. Pulling you to the changing room and locking the door.

"sana? i can't do this right now, im still like half asl-" "do you like tzuyu?" sana cut you off as you rubbed your eyes in confusion, "what?" "you and tzuyu, are you guys like- together? do you like her?"

You looked at her with so much confusion causing her to slowly get frustrated, "just tell me, are you and tzuyu a thing? do. you. like. her." "what? no?" "to which one?" "both!" "then why're you so close? you slept on the couch together while cuddling"

"maybe because she was the main person that was there when you broke my heart. You were the one the broke up with me. why are you jealous?" "i'm not jealous?" "still the same as you were, huh? you're always denying that you're jealous when you obviously are"

"i'm not jealous, y/n" "okay then what if i-" you got cut off by sana smashing her lips against yours, "mm?!" you yelled, you couldn't help but melt in her touch, you were so used to it.

It took a few seconds, neither of you dated to pull away but air was a problem and you guys had to split. "i'm sorry" she whispered, you could feel her breath fan against your lips since she was resting her forehead against yours.

"for what?" "breaking up with you and getting jealous of how close you were with tzuyu, and just- everything. i love you, so much, take me back? please?" you just nodded as sana pressed her lips against yours again.

"you better not do that again because next time, i wont take you back as easily" "i'm never doing that again" "promise?" "promise."   

...

A/n:

idk i don't like this but wtv

[dextixer]

RWBY is not overhated, the weird conflation of criticism with hate and the "The show just did not fit critics expectations" argument in the fandom

Duo to a few reasons i could not really access Reddit for the last 3 days, but there have been many threads i really wanted to participate in or make responses to. One of the threads that caught my eye was this(Link removed because Tumblr seems to hide posts with links).

I would recommend people to familiarize themselves with the thread and its comments if they have not already.

Anyways, what i noticed, both from the OP and a few other comments is a very   uncharitable opinions and logic that have existed in the fandom for a long time, and crop up from time to time. Things like criticisms that are disagreed upon being conflated with hate, criticism being dismised because its subjective and because "it just did not meet your expectations"  and of course the prevailing opinion that RWBY is somehow uniquelly "overhated".

I would like to offer push-back to these opinions and narratives personally, since i could not have done so before.

Expectations

Most people understand that criticism is an incredibly subjective and opinion based field of interest. Many things influence how a work can or will be criticized and whether or not those criticisms are thought to be "valid" or not. Ones personal life experiences, media consumed and things like personal philosophy and political leanings can influence the criticisms they have on a work. And while people and groups of people sometimes agree and form based on shared criticisms, more often than not there can be MANY such groups with criticism that differs and is even contradictory to one another.

What often confuses me is this idea that criticism can be dismissed because "Well, you just dont like the direction that the show took" or "The show just didnt meet your expectations". Well, these are true statements. But that is what confuses me about their usage. Because in the comments of the thread i am responding to people use these arguments to dismiss criticism.

When these statements about expectations are the CORE of how criticism is formed. Let us say i order a chocolate cake, i EXPECT a chocolate cake, and if i get a vanilla cake my expectations are not meant, and thus i can criticize the making of the cake. Expectations not being met is the core of forming criticism, it is the FIRST step on a road of making criticism, so to use it to dismiss criticism just feels silly.

Now, of course, with shows like RWBY, we the audience do not order anything. We do not pay money so that something would be made specifically for us. We engage with an existing work and then depending on how it goes, what it implies, theories on what the future can bring, we form expectations of the show, and then when they are not met or they are met, we express our opinions.

That is completely normal. That is the core of subjectivity. To make fun of that just feels like a complete and utter misunderstanding of subjectivity as a concept, of consumption of products in general.

Almost all, if not all criticism is subjective.

But that subjectivity should not be used to dismiss criticism.

If i believe that RWBY could be better, or could have been better. That is an expectation. And if the show does not meet my expectation i can criticize it on various aspects of it that in my opinion werent done well.

As a note, you can replace the whole "expectation" word with "headcanon" in most of this section, because sometimes the statement takes the form of "people are mad their headcanons did not come true" which is basically the same dismissive statement as with expectations.

Criticism is not hate

Hate, hate, hate, hate. Its a pretty strong word, is it not? A word that carries a LOT of meaning in general. It can be applied to certain parts of RWBY communities, certainly. For example, people who do not even watch the new volumes and still shit-talk RWBY. People who make statements such as "I just want to see this show burn" and the like. I mean, that is obvious hate or spite, one cannot deny that. And of course, such people find their way into critic communities.

First of all, they are not critics. A person who HOPES that the show fails is very much not a critic in my eyes any more. At the same time, the only way to get rid of such people is for the community to tell them to piss off. But enough about that...

What i am trying to say is that people who hate the show, can be very clearly seen, they do not try to hide their intentions. And yet, it is very often that one can notice how criticism can often be conflated with hate. The OP of the thread i posted certainly did so at the start. The title of the thread is about hate, and yet, in the thread itself they are talking about criticisms, poor and maybe without details criticisms, but criticisms nonetheless.

And the OP is not unique in that manner. I myself have recently been accused of hating the show, because i am not writing positive threads about it, that we critics "hide" our hate behind criticisms. That could not be further from the truth.

Criticism is simply how we choose to engage with the community and spread our ideas and opinions, that is all. It is no different from me writing a review of a game on Steam or anything of the sort. We live in a world of information, and with it, us and our opinions can be noticed. We can discuss upon them and the like. Criticism is no lesser way to interact in the community than saying how great RWBY is.

Criticism often takes a good amount of time. To form, to be formulated into a coherent argument that people can understand. People put in effort into doing so. Even if you might disagree with a criticism, it doesn't mean that it is hateful.

If you think the show is amazing? Great for you. That does not mean that the other person has to think so. Even if you think that their criticism is wrong. It does not make it hate. Or "lies" as some people even refer them to. Its all opinion.

"Ironwood was writen well" and "Ironwood was writen badly", both of these are true at the same time... For different people... And while people can disagree and argue upon these statements, these are all just opinions.

RWBY is NOT overhated

It is often that i browse r/RWBY subreddit and various other RWBY communities and notice something strange. There is almost, if not a culture, then at least a sentiment of victimhood in parts of the fandom. Both on the part of the show, but also, personal.

Many people in the fandom seem to believe that RWBY as a show is somehow uniquely hated, that the criticisms it receives are too much, that people care too much and the like. It seems to be paired with beliefs that other communities don't have such often talked about criticisms.

And that is... Well... Wrong. RWBY as a show does not receive more or less criticism than any other serialized work. The MHA fandom is very critical of the show. The SAO fandom is critical of their show. I can take almost any Anime with a sizeable fanbase and find MANY critics or critical threads of the show. It is all part of the natural cycle of fanbases, no work is perfect.

And yet this perception persists. Arguably, because parts of the fandom want it to persist. I have mentioned it many times but most criticism of the show has gone into different communities. It is rare for it to appear what are considered to be "fandom spaces", it can be avoided very easily in most moderated sites. Some argue that RWBY is "overhated" because of how the Youtube algorithm offers up videos of RWBY being bad.

But i think thats a poor point to make. The reason why those videos exist is because RWBY is a niche work. When bigger creators noticed it and made their videos. Those videos are not going to leave, because they make a video and forget about RWBY in general. Most biggest videos were made 1-2 years ago if not more. It does not mean that RWBY is hated on youtube or the like. Its just that there is no video to replace them. And why should we care what outsiders care of RWBY? Those videos are popular not because people care about RWBY. People just like seeing criticism, even of works they have not consumed.

People do not hate or overhate RWBY. They are either mostly fans of it. Or dont care about it. Its just that simple.

RWBY community created its own boogeyman

What i think many people in the RWBY community dont realize, is that parts of the fandom have created their own boogeyman. The so called "hatedom". This is very much related to the whole "victimhood" thing i talked about and how people perceive RWBY as being overhated.

It eventually resulted in people being labeled as HTDM. And it did not take much to be labeled as such. And people then truly believed that the HTDM is a "thing", that its a huge community out to destroy RWBY. When in reality, most people assigned that label were just critics.

This even comes to personal stuff too. So many people, way too many people in the RWBY community have seemingly tied parts of themselves to RWBY. I cant even tell you how many times i have seen people take my arguments as personal insults.

People have taken me saying "You are wrong" as outright personal attacks. Disagreeing with their opinions or offering my own personal criticism as something that was "meant" to stop them from watching the show.

Most of it is self-made.

What is HTDM? Who belongs to it? Nobody knows. Because its such a shapeless and formless concept. Its just a label to demonize people, whose existance is then used for parts of the community to claim that RWBY is hated. Because of a label that the community itself created for "undesireables".

Ending Word

Anyways, that is all i have got to say for now. I know that some people might get tired of me speaking more about the community and the fandom rather than the show, but i cannot help myself when i see certain arguments being presented in the fandom. Especially since i have an opportunity to push-back or correct some, in my opinion, erroneous opinions.

Though i do have to say, if anyone wishes to suggest me a topic that they would like to see me talk about, that i have not recently talked about, such requests would be very much appreciated for my hyperactive and unfocused brain.

Opinions, disagreements and anything else of the sort are of course welcome, as always.

[magioffire]

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

salty mun questions ; accepting

oh boy LOL i have sadly had quite a few very mild to medium level of annoying stuff happen over my many many years of rping on this site. feel like i gotta cover one of the big annoying experiences!! if we are going with highest amount of annoyance caused....i would have to say it was my experience with an rp partner that was a liiiiittle bit obsessed with me, or perhaps more accurately, obsessed with vali. its a little bit of a wild ride so BUCKLE UP:

at first it started off as a completely normal rp partnership -- in fact, the two of us hit it off quite well and immediately started rping regularly. i enjoyed myself for a while, oblivious to what was gonna unfold. things happened in my life and i slowed down on my activity on this site. i was very open to them about what was going on and explained i just would not be able to be as active or engaged. but they just did. not. let. up. at first it started slow, and i wasnt bothered at all to get regular asks and lots of messages, i love that!i really do! but this...this was another ball game...

but it began to get to a point where the asks got more frequent, and then more insistent, and they and their characters got increasingly more desperate in an attempt to keep my and vali's attention i think??? and they started to get...vaguely passive aggressive about me being slow with responses and i could tell sometmes they were jealous when i replied to/was more invested in other threads.

i liked our characters dynamic and i liked rping with them, but the weirder it got ooc, the less my muse was invested in their characters, the less i was invested in a ship dynamic, because it felt very forced. and i also felt like they were kinda obsessed with the idea of shipping their characters with vali, and yet after a while after agreeing to ship ...only wanting very surface level interactions where vali spent most of his time protecting and defending their character. and like im sorry, but if your character has literally no spine then vali is gonna steam roll right over them and leave them in the dust just because hes such an intense character. he needs someone just as willful as him to play off of effectively. i didnt realize that yet at the time and thought it was the growing pains a new underdeveloped ship, and that it would change. it didnt.

just kept getting A LOT of borderline obsessive behavior towards me and my muse. they also would very transparently take ideas i had and try to apply them to their own characters. and like, i wasnt mad about that, i dont actually own the basic concepts themselves, but the ripping off of headcanon ideas, and posting similar headcanons right after me, got so prevalent that others started to notice and mention it. i really disliked that because i dont like people fighting my battles for me but. sigh another cherry on the annoying pie i guess.....

told them multiple times that they need to slow their roll and be patient. then it got even weirder. i eventually started branching back out and finding new rp partners, as well a rekindling old rp partnerships after being very low activity for so long. and i hit it off quite well with some new rp partners i still interact with to this day, started some ships. and well...that's when it ...well, they acted very strange and jealously, like they were following me around to whoever i was interacting. which usually isnt an issue, i WANT my rp partners to meet eachother and interact. but i very quickly got the feeling based on their behavior, they werent following my rp partners cuz they actually wanted to rp with them, but because they wanted to keep 'tabs' on what i was doing with my rp partner. i know now they were likely very jealous about the sort of romantic chemistry my rp partners and i were creating between our muses.

and then i started getting anons that were very obviously written by them complaining about how they tried to become friends with my rp partners, but got rejected blah blah blah. and that. that kinda was the last straw. i dont play games like that. you can pull ALL that shit on me and i'll give you second, third, fourth chances if i think youre worth it, but the minute you start dragging my friends in and putting strain on my other friendships.....NAH!!!

i told them off again, told them exactly how i felt, how i knew it was them sending the anons to me, and that they needed to stop. and then gave us some space, cuz i knew we needed to cool off and have time away from eachother. one day i woke up to find that they had deleted me off discord, and then tried to re-add me, likely as a ploy to get my attention. took my chance, said im done interacting with you, and ran like the wind!!!!! freedom!!!!!! maybe not the most tactful way i could have dealt with it...but i tolerated their shit for so long and i was just. tired and wanted out of this weird dynamic i had going on with this person before it went from 'annoying' to 'creepy' to straight up toxic.

moral of the story: sometimes people are so annoying they veer way outside the lines of 'annoying' and go straight into 'creepy'. i should have known that this just wasnt a healthy rp relationship when the first red flags showed up but alas….i try to see the good worthwhile side of everyone i interact with.... until they utterly prove me wrong. but their immature way of dealing with things was really driving me up a goddamn wall more than anything. i dont regretting getting the fuck out of dodge lol

[philipkindreddickhead]

I often seen critiques of make up from an existential/philosophical perspective, but I rarely see criticism of cosmetics from a stand point of the very physical bodily harm it does. I think this is because the number of dangerous ingredients is so massive, and overlapping its an absolutely daunting task. So I've compiled the information I've found and bear with me its a lot. (This is from an American perspective. Sorry, thats what I know. However I would love it if people from other countries had things to add.)

First I want to get the "simple" stuff out of the way. I think almost everyone has heard about bacteria and fungi in makeup and that makeup causes acne from clogging pores. Makeup has a pretty strict shelf life, yet consumers are entirely supposed to self-police as Ive never seen a single expiration date on any cosmetic packaging. (I guess consumers are meant to pull this knowledge out of the ether or something. I only found out about it in a tumblr PSA. I did read that expirys are on products in Europe.) Beauty blenders are the worst offender because theyre almost always moist. When I was taught makeup I was told to wet my sponge so it would soak up less product. If you apply makeup daily your sponge is likely constantly damp. USA Today had an article which said that 96% of sponges had fungi and over 60% had E. Coli in them. But I think what people talk about less is the complication of problems from using other products in conjunction with dirty beauty blenders. USA Today warns its especially dangerous to use beauty blenders if you have damage to your skin like acne, cuts, or dry skin. However the most popular beauty products for washing your face contain walnut pieces for literally scrubbing your skin and creating microabrasions. If youre a frequent makeup user you probably know about the cyclical nature of applying foundation, breaking out, and then applying more foundation to cover the breakout. You may even be using scrubbing cleansers more frequently to combat the acne creating more tears. This can lead to "blood poisoning" and, though neither USA today or Forbes mentions this, blood poisoning (not a medical term btw. Its sepsis.) according to numerous medical sites has the potential to be extremely lethal. The symptoms are so similar to a regular flu its nearly impossible to self-diagnose.

The very first thing I was told when a friend handed me a jar of finishing powder- popular with many beauty gurus for the "baking" technique and considered a must have- was a joke about "clown lung." This was a reference to the main ingredient talc. Talc causes lung problems including cancer and respiratory illness. If anyone remembers the large Johnson and Johnson lawsuit from 2019 it was because theyd been putting talc into baby powder. Talc is dangerous because it's impossible to mine and seperate from ASBESTOS. Some high-end finishing powders will try to sell you on safe talc-free formulas but all the products I looked into contained mica instead which causes pneumoconiosis, colloquially known as "black lung disease." Like fucking coal miners get. Its not just present in finishing powder either. In my research it turned out that talc/asbestos are also present in many eyeshadows and other powder products. [Googleable, evidenced in J&J lawsuit]

Another industry to examine is nail salons. Toluene, Formaldehyde, Dibutyl Phthalate, and Methacrylate compounds are all dangerous ingredients and present in various salon products. These ingredients cause a range of problems from dizziness, drowsiness, birth defects, slow fetal growth, future intellectual disabilities in the fetus, eye skin and throat irritation, coughing, allergic reactions, asthma-like attacks, short-term memory loss, nausea, dermatitis, cancer, and misscarriage. Some nail products advertise that they are 3-free meaning that toluene, formaldehyde, and DP should be absent but often the labels are found to be completely inaccurate. It should be noted that the risk is mainly to salon workers and not patrons but ask yourself if it is right to place other people at serious risk for your aesthetic. OSHA does make an attempt to mitigate these risks however not once in my years of makeup queen did I see a salon following these directives which include constant air monitoring, half mask respirators with chemical cartridges, gloves, long sleeves, and safety glasses. (And Im not even going to touch issues of human trafficking/slave labour out of nail salons one case of which occured 5 days ago two hours away from me) It should also be noted that formaldehyde can also be found in hair relaxers and hair dyes. [Found articles in Scientific American and NYT]

I also found on the FDAs website that many cosmetics include heavy metals like arsenic, mercury, and lead. (Usually accompainied by a picture of lipstick so I assume that is the product most likely to contain it, however campaign for safe cosmetics lists foundation as containing heavy metals, and The Guardian has an article about skin lighteners from Asia and Africa containing mercury.) The website stated that the amount of these heavy metals in cosmetics is "safe" if used as intended. (and I'm going to come back to the concept of "intended use" later because thats a can of worms too) However, when searching for info on heavy metal safety I found this quote in regards to metals in food:

"Certain metals, such as arsenic, lead and mercury, have no established health benefit, and have been shown to lead to illness, impairment, and in high doses, death. Understanding the risk that harmful metals pose in our food supply is complicated by the fact that no single food source accounts for most people’s exposure to metals in foods. People’s exposure comes from many different foods containing these metals. Combining all of the foods we eat, even low levels of harmful metals from individual food sources, can sometimes add up to a level of concern"

So like, which is it? Is it a "safe amount" or is no amount of metal safe? I understand that in the case of certain foods like fish some amount of mercury poisoning is always expected but fish is also something you feed yourself and nourish your body with while cosmetics are completely unecessary to your survival. The mercury problem in fish is also mitigated by health warnings when mercury levels are particularly high but cosmetics have no such warning. Another warning on the site indicated that children should ingest NO amount of lead AT ALL because it is particularly harmful for kids yet theres no effort to stop children from using lead-containing cosmetics. I worked next to a Five Below where I was shocked to find they sold Jeffree Star and Anastasia eyeshadow dupes for five dollars which amounts to fucking pocket change for a lot of kids and kids do buy that stuff. I also think its ironic the FDA would have anything to say regarding cosmetics because in the very same article about heavy metals in cosmetics the FDA says that they DO NOT REGULATE cosmetics beyond the color additives.

Mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, and brow tint often contain carbon black. This is a color additive that is an incomplete combustion of carbon-based products. It can cause lung disease, cancer, and organ system toxicity, and eye, nose, throat irritation. The effects are mainly studied in rats and those at biggest risk are industrial workers but why do other workers have to endure lung problems for something so unecessary? [Easily googleable, NIH, CDC, WHO Europe]

This next bit I only want to mention briefly because I didnt find any particularly reputable sources about it, but its a claim that cropped up repeatedly and I think its an interesting one. Parabens, estrogen, phthalates (again), and pesticides in cosmetics are apparently linked to endocrine disorders and hormone dysregulation. Im not entirely sure what is meant by this accusation. Endocrine disorders include female diseases like PCOS and possibly endometriosis. None of these diseases is very well studied and the female endocrine system itself is not well studied either. Im not saying "cosmetics cause PCOS" because we dont know if PCOS or these other endocrine/hormonal disorders are genetic or environmental or both (it appears that PCOS is largely genetic and Endometriosis is likely autoimmune related) AND we dont appear to know for sure that cosmetic ingredients cause endocrine disorder. But I include anyway for a number of reasons:

If you happen to struggle with hormonal problems you may want to know cosmetics is a potential environment factor.

These conditions are incredibly painful. It will be a battle getting your doctor to even acknowledge that pain for diagnosis. PCOS is linked to diabetes, and heart disease. [Thanks @mother-of-pearl ] There is no cure and the treatments are often throwing hormonal birth control at it and hoping for the best.

I dont anticipate the link between cosmetics and endocrine disorders being studied any time soon or any endocrine disorders studied at all because the medical/scientific field is sexist. I dont want women to suffer in the mean time.

Now again, take this with a grain of salt because I couldnt find scientific or news sources for it. Dont fucking come for me. Im not gonna respond to you. [Most reputable source was a paper from the library of medicine at the national institutes of health but it was behind a paywall and I dont have 39 dollars to be right on tumblrdotcom]

Avoiding these ingredients is not as simple as scanning the label for them. As many beautubers and the community are no doubt aware considering multiple scandals over veganism. Products advertised as vegan or cruelty free but contain non-vegan carmine or are sold in China which legally requires the products to be animal tested. Cosmetic companies will hide ingredients claiming they are "trade secrets" or they will be placed under "fragrance." Many ingredients will be known by six or seven different names and asking consumers to be aware of seven different names for multiple ingredients requires consumers to be aware of innumerable different, often complicated ingredient names. I shouldnt have to point out that's a ridiculous burden to place on women. The EU banned 1,300 hazardous ingredients that the US did not. Cosmetic companies rely on women being unwilling/unable to bring in a list of 1,300 ingredients- with multiple names- every time they pop in to the drug store, sephora, or wherever. Buying "natural" products will not help you either. Theres no established criteria for natural/organic in costmetics, the FDA doesnt test these products, and "natural"=/= safe anyway. Plenty of plants and minerals are poisonous. One good example is traditional kohl products which advertise their natural status but also naturally contain lead and reiterating that natural powders contain mica. US courts are rarely on the side of consumers either. I found an interesting lawsuit against St. Ives for their apricot scrub taken to court for their "dermatologist tested" label despite it causing breakouts and cuts to the skin. The courts ruled that this label was fine because it only indicated that the product was TESTED not APPROVED by dermatologists. However I think any rational consumer would look at this label and assume the tests concluded it was safe for use or else why put the label on there?

[Googlable XMONDO drama, googlable laws wrt china and eu, already stated about FDA, FDA website about Kohl. Googled St. Ives lawsuit.]

I want to return to the idea of "intended use." This is sort of a fucky concept a lot of companies have ways of getting around. My "last straw" with makeup had to do with a run-in I had with Anastasia over their "Riviera" eyeshadow palette. In this pallette they had two colors that were the real feature of the palette, an electric neon purple and a radioactive pink I mean every photo, every promotion has these two colors swirled together around the eye. Because again, its an eyeshadow palette. When I buy the eyeshadow palette of course there's a little insert warning in the package that says these two shades are not intended on the eye area. In an eyeshadow palette. Contacting their customer service they told me that these two shades were meant to be used as a blush. neon purple blush. Not only that, but their website and instagram featured NO models wearing the shades as blush while EVERY model one or more of the shades as eyeshadow. When asked about this discrepancy ABH stopped responding. What I find egregious about this is the amount of people who dont know, and then more staggeringly; dont care. The sephora clerks didnt know, the in store abh representative didnt know, their customers didnt know, and when I told them they would respond with "oh, [brand] did the same thing with their [shade]." Sure enough, when I demanded that store clerks open the packaging to look for warnings nearly every product had an "eyeshadow" that was not intended for use on the eyes. Relegating dark, red-toned teal to "contour" and neon grean to "highlighter" US-based cosmetic junkies will say that these pigments have been approved for use by the EU however I found absolutely NO evidence of that. I googled it a thousand ways but all I ever found were blog posts, reddit comments, and one quote from an apparently nonEuropean layman in an Insider article. I even changed my location to France on ABH's website and the Norvina palette still contains the same warnings (not to harp on ABH in particular. I just know which shades in particular are the problem there). The Insider article noted that brands who were selling pressed pigments declined to comment. If the pressed pigments were EU friendly, I would think companies would be clamouring to say so. It also still makes their market as eyeshadow colors illegal in the US. (If any Europeans would like to chime in I'd love that.) Another problem I find with cosmetics companies and their reps is the claim that the worst thing that could happen is eye irritation for those with sensitive eyes and staining. How could they possibly know? The FDA doesnt test, or approve these cosmetics in the eye area, so ostensibly no one should be using it that way.

The next one is a bit of a "duh" but I'm going to talk about it anyway. Counterfeit cosmetics are a booming market full of untold dangers. Untold primarily because these products could contain literally anything. Ive read about glue, arsenic, lead, feces, staph, and horse urine to name a few. The labels and ingredient list on these products are fake. Legitimate brands often unintentionally play into the counterfeit market. They create artificial scarcity by making less of the product than is actually needed for consumer demand to create an even higher demand. If consumers miss out often their only chance at getting the product is to turn to counterfeits. I found examples of women who had their lips superglued, lips "turned to goo" and burned to blistering, throat closures, women with stys, contact dermatitis, eye infections. I think we as a society turn a blind eye to this problem because we think "hey, if youre buying counterfeits for a discount and you get hurt you deserve it." We imagine idiots buying products for 4 dollars from ebay or perusing Canal street for FEИTY beauty. But these counterfeits can be really convincing. I myself received a gift of a huda palette that I only recognized something was weird about it because I'd swatched it at sephora about five times earlier that month. The person who bought it for me actually paid MORE than the usual cost for the palette because it was advertised as a newer, better edition. The websites can be disturbingly similar. For instance Kylie Jenner's legitimate website is KylieCosmetics.com but you can find fakes at kyliecosmeticsshop.co.uk. These fakes can buy ad space and be one of the first sites that populate when you google the products instead of typing the legitimate site into the address bar. Counterfeits can also be bought and sold through third parties on websites like ebay, wish, and amazon. (My gift actually came from Amazon.)

[Netflix doc "Broken" ep "Makeup Mayhem" Corroborated by personal experience and google]

[sovpologist]

hi, genuine question! I want to like Mara, but d2 lore shows her, in my eyes, as selfish and cruel, set on her own goal with no consideration for others. At least that's what I got from marasenna lorebook.

Why is she liked by so many in community? I feel like I'm overlooking something over things I mentioned above, but I would appreciate a perspective from someone who likes her character! If it's okay to ask!

its totally okay to ask!! this is going to be a long post so im going to put it under a readmore :)

i just want to stress first that mara is like.... widely disliked by many in the community. it used to be very unpopular to like her and if you even said anything remotely positive about her, people would reply to your posts and send you anons about how you were a terrible person for liking such a manipulative and toxic character. it was only recently that community opinion kind of started to shift, and people started to actually appreciate her character as nuanced and interesting. i definitely dont think this is because of me or anything crazy like that, but ive tried to correct misconceptions about her and cultivate a space on my blog at least where people can just openly like mara and not feel like they have to qualify it by constantly assuring people that they know mara's done bad things too (because literally every character in d2 has done bad things, and somehow people understand that liking the uldren doesnt mean you support him killing cayde but cant apply that same concept to mara for some reason). ok, im getting off my soapbox now and im going to just talk about why i like her.

mara is genuinely just such a fascinating character to me. reading the marasenna im really struck by how alone she is, even as a 19 year old human. her mom has essentially abandoned her and says that she's mara's friend but not her mother, and mara's father is never mentioned, so mara literally has no parental guidance or supervision or love. this puts a lot more of her pre-awoken actions into context, such as her not knowing how to interact with people and preferring to keep herself away from the rest of the crew. everyone mara loves leaves her. her mom stays in the distributary, uldren is distant in his efforts to impress and surprise her and then dies, and sjur dies too.

i also love mara's character arc, although it kind of makes me sad. mara is so painfully human in the earlier parts of the marasenna. she's awkward, she's lonely, she thinks her and uldren's secret language is "cool," she gets embarassed at her mom's embarrassing petnames, she hero-worships alis li and listens to her advice. watching her lose all of this and crystalize into a queen is so interesting. remember, mara didn't go out into the fight between the darkness and the traveler bc she knew she would gain power and create the awoken, its stated that she went out there to die. so a 19 year old just trying to die peacefully ends up witnessing firsthand the power of the dark and light and being tasked with essentially creating a new species, knowing that one day she wants to go back and fight the darkness. she becomes such a politician and has to scheme and plot and really loses her humanity while following ALIS' advice- alis was the one who told her that people need a mascot, not a friend. this also makes for a really interesting scene where alis grants mara one favor, and instead of asking for political power, even though mara is such an intensely political and scheming person, she tells alis the truth about the awoken and asks for forgiveness. alis, who mara looked up to, doesnt forgive her, and mara really internalizes this and starts to permantantly close herself off. mara made herself into a queen and lost her humanity in the process. there's a couple people who see the real her, like sjur, but even sjur doesnt really understand her. but her relationship with sjur is also so well written and interesting, sjur being the one person she lets herself drop her mask around and just act human. i made a post about this once, but even mara's speech patterns change around sjur, becoming much more casual and "normal." however, at the same time, mara's mask/persona is a part of her character, and one that i love. people hate her for being "mean," but i like characters like that. mara doesnt take any shit, even from the protagonist, and has her own plans and goals that she doesn't feel obligated to share or change for other people. she's ambitious, sticks to her guns, and doesn't allow other people to influence her.

you say she's selfish, and i think it is easy to brush her off as selfish and doing everything for her own gain, but there's a lot of subtext and outright text in the marasenna and other lore that shows mara genuinely believes that the only way to fight the darkness is to become a being on the same level as the darkness and the traveler. she doesn't let the awoken become immortal gods, which some people regard as a bad thing, but she did that for a reason. mara understands that a people who are eternal and ageless will never grow as people, and she knew that the darkness wanted them to just be complacently sitting aside in their little realm while it does whatever it wants. mara wasn't going to let that happen, and knew she had to find a way to encourage people to leave paradise. you can dislike the way she went about this, essentially encouraging conflict and war among her people, but she did not just do it for her own gain or amusement. mara has also been hated on for starting the reef war/firing a missile at the house of wolves, people act like she did that just for fun too, but the eliksni fleet was heading to conquer earth. instead of just hiding and building up her own resources, which wouldve been the logical thing to do in this situation, mara put her own fleet and power on the line to draw the eliksni's attention away and help earth. she doesn't do things solely bc they benefit her, but because she genuinely loves and wants to help earth. her uncaring persona is a mask, the thing that she feels she needs to be for people to have faith in her.

i have more to say but this is already so long and ive said a lot, so i'll end it here :) at the end of the day, some people are just not going to like mara and thats totally fine. she's not everyone's type, bc she IS ambitious and manipulative and sometimes cruel. i just wish she didnt get a disproportionate amount of hate for being like that when i know for a fact that if she was a male character she would not get this much hate, and i wish that people could just dislike her normally without lying about her or misinterpreting her character and motivations. but if you dont like her, you dont like her! sometimes we just dislike characters, sometimes for well thought out reasons snad sometimes just for no reason! thats completely fine, as long as you're respectful!!

[transtenzin]

ok umm deleted my first post like a minute after posting because i started panicking and had to type it out again because i didn’t save anything like the dumbass i am, but here it is again 😭

so anyways

nonbinary tenzin!!!

(i’ll be using they/them pronouns for tenzin in this)

katara and aang are trans as well. katara’s a trans girl, and aang’s not a boy or a girl and that’s all you need to know–even if that much 🙄 so it’s not like tenzin and their siblings grow up not knowing that’s a Thing, because they are both very open about gender, especially aang, who encourages them to Think Some Thoughts about gender.

and tenzin tries.

oh boy, do they try lmaoo

tenzin thinks about gender. they don’t really get it tbh. and not in a comedic “what even is gender” meme kind of way, but like. genuinely. but at this point they’re kind of too embarrassed to seriously ask. katara and sokka make gender sound simple and clean-cut, while aang makes it sound like some sort of vague, weird concept, and tenzin’s siblings just kinda took their own interpretations of these and ran with them.

like, okay, sure. tenzin is seen as a boy by the people in the around them. there are certain expectations and assumptions around this perception/what it means. they don’t necessarily like all of them–which is its own can of worms when deciding why–if that is because they simply don’t like these conceptions, or if they don’t like them because they aren’t a guy, but like… picking that apart sounds stressful and complicated.

tenzin hasn’t brought it up with anyone because it’s kind of an awkward and embarrassing thing to admit, but they Super Do Not Like how their voice has gotten deeper. after a while they have realized it is not just the voice cracking thing going on that they don’t like, but just like. in general. everything is okay until they open their mouth 🙃

it’s not like, Every Conversation, but sometimes when they’re talking to someone and it’s a bit quiet, listening to their own voice makes their stomach drop. like that’s really what they sound like. fantastic. 🙃🙃🙃 (/s)

they think about this some but like… not liking their voice doesn’t necessarily mean anything?

kya’s a trans lesbian, and when kya comes out to their family tenzin finally gathers the courage and asks her how she knew. kya admits that it wasn’t like a single sudden realization or a point in life where she just Knew like most people seem to think there is. there were a lot of things that factored into it, but one of the main things wasn’t really how she felt with being misgendered as a boy, but the comfort she took in knowing that there were other things she could be perceived as instead, and other things she could be.

that’s the first time that someone’s ever explained to tenzin their self discovery with that much understanding. it’s a lot better than bumi’s “idk. if you know you know, you know” + generally being annoying about it every time tenzin tries to have a serious conversation (bumi is agender and when they’re like “but how do you know what your gender is” he’s like “you think i would know? rip to you all with genders but i’m different 😌”)

so after this conversation with her, tenzin is just like…. 👁👄👁 omg okay…. that actually makes some sense.

that gets him thinking more, but this time in a more specific direction. they still don’t know anything for sure though. tenzin Suspects they are not Exactly a boy, but other than that??? anyone’s guess is as good as theirs lmao. they try to take comfort in know there are ‘other things’ they could be, but mostly it just ends up stressing them out.

-

after tenzin and pema are together, tenzin has been thinking about it even more, and wants to talk to pema about it. like. tenzin has decided that there is a large possibility that they are not a man, and choosing a specific label just sounds so… permanent. they haven’t talked to kya or bumi or anyone about THEIR gender, specifically, because like… what’re they going to say? “hey actually i don’t think i’m a guy” “then what are you?” “idk good question”???

but tenzin has been questioning for a while now (like. a while a while LOL), and they want to trust pema with this.

(EDIT: also time to mention pema is a trans woman. i forgot to mention this for some reason)

one day pema says something along the lines of “ur my husband” and tenzin takes the opportunity and kind of just laughs like… what if i’m not… jk…. unless…? 😳😳

it’s not exactly how tenzin wanted to approach the subject ofc. pema grows kind of concerned when they’re like “well… actually… i might not be” and needs to clarify they still very much are pema’s spouse, but like… not husband, specifically. but yes, spouse. maybe?

tenzin is embarrassed at first to admit this because they’re like 40 years old. they just had their first kid. are they not a bit old for this?? (the answer is no, there is no age limit to this sort of thing.)

pema is happy to know and tenzin is happy to have told her because even if they’re still figuring it out at least there is someone who kind of Knows that there is a Possibility They Are Not Cis. and pema’s kind of like… idk… if you’ve been thinking about this for that long then i think there is More than a possibility that you Aren’t Cis. to which tenzin makes sure to emphasize they are still not 100% certain about anything.

pema’s like okay that’s fine but like… you know that you don’t have to be 100% certain to try on a label? labels are not things that have to be permanent. if in a few weeks you are just 70% certain that you’re nonbinary, you’re allowed to say you’re nonbinary. if some time later you find another label you’re more confident in, you can change to that. you don’t have to be absolutely 100% all the time to try stuff out.

tenzin surprised pikachu face

okay so… logically, they’ve known this. other people they know have done this, including their siblings. but otherwise? for themself? it honestly hadn’t crossed their mind that they’re allowed to just. say that they feel like x is a term for them, and then change their mind later.

but as simple as pema makes it sound, tenzin kind of internally cringes at the thought of having to say ‘so i told you i was x gender but now i think i’m x”. isn’t it enough of a hassle to do that all once, but again? just because they weren’t sure the first time??? ughhh

what if they ditched the whole thing altogether? throw the entire suitcase out. who needs a label 😌😌 aang kind of didn’t either

-

tenzin starts using any pronouns (like aang did, but aang wanted pronouns to be alternated, while tenzin hasn’t necessarily specified that) by the start of lok, but only with their family and korra.

aang also didnt use a label to describe his gender, and tenzin has been trying to be okay with doing the same.

in lok, hearing pema ask “were tenzin and their siblings this crazy when they were kids?” makes them happier than they can express. it’s like there’s little exclamation marks just going off in their head. like yes!!! that is them!! them!!! Euphoria ™ 💓❤💕💞💗💖💝

and then katara’s reply with “not tenzin, she was always rather serious” and tenzin almost forgets that they have to tell korra that they can’t stay and train her because that also makes them elated, although not quite to the extent that pema using “their” did.

after that they’re still going by any pronouns, but they’ve decided they have a preference for they/them.

when they’re back at air temple island, pema asks about other aspects of gender expression. which like lol tenzin has also been avoiding that thanks 💖 they’ve just been presenting as expected by everyone else–keeping their beard, wearing their usual robes, etc. they’re just like “i’m fine as i am ig” which is true. they’ve thought about changing up their appearance but like lol. they are also on the council and tenzin doesn’t need anything else adding an extra layer of stress on those meetings when everyone already seems inclined to not listen to them. which is also why they haven’t told anyone else about using any pronouns.

-

when season 2 comes around tenzin is still not satisfied with just Not Labeling their gender, but now that they aren’t on the council anymore, they can think about it more.

it’s just… they spent a long time figuring out what gender was, how they felt about their own gender, and while at the time just leaving it alone seemed simpler, it didn’t make them any happier. it really bugs them, actually, lmao.

at this point they are certain they are not a man, and highly doubt they are a woman either. in fact, they’re still not sure if they have a gender like, at all, but they are very hesitant to put a word to it.

they’ve become used to being referred to as a mix of he/they/she/xe/etc. around their family, although their use of he/him has decreased significantly and they mainly use they/them, so when they hear the air acolytes in the southern air temple consistently refer to them as “he”, they sort of have to pause a minute, and then decide to finally say something.

they’re asked then abt their gender and tenzin’s just like… um actually i’m just not putting a label to it atm you know haha ❤

it goes over pretty well but telling other people that makes them realize how much they actually do want to label it, despite how aang used to talk about not needing a word just for others to perceive her gender, and how everyone keeps telling them “that’s valid!”, etc. etc.

the scene in the spirit world with tenzin’s spiritual enlightenment is also about tenzin realizing that they are also free to explore their gender the way THEY want to, not the way everyone else did. even kya’s answer to “how did u know u were trans” doesn’t necessarily have to apply to how they did.

tbh after that tenzin stops caring. and not in an “my gender doesn’t matter to me anymore” way but “it does matter but now i will stop worrying about trying to do gender the ‘right way’“.

afterward they decide they think they are nonbinary. it’s a label that makes them happy, and it does cover what they’ve determined their gender might be. nonbinary is a broad term, and while they’re still not sure of the specifics, that’s okay. if they later discover they’re something else, that’s also okay. they can tell people they are nonbinary, and it’s fine if they have to tell them something different later. it’s not a hassle if it makes them feel happy being out.

-

tenzin’s family can still use any pronouns for them, but now everyone else is using only they/them for them.

tenzin’s okay with being called a husband/father/etc when coming from their family despite their initial talk with pema because they trust that they Get It and know that it’s not in a Cis Way, you know???

tenzin keeps their beard (unfortunately) and keeps shaving their head and stuff but they occasionally wear dresses with long swishy skirts and the euphoria!!!!! 😭😭 they love the cloak swishing you KNOW they’d love long swishy skirts too

this is actually the happiest tenzin can remember being with their gender and stuff. people are using they/any pronouns for them, they are wearing whatever they want, they are nonbinary, AND people know!!!

also time to mention jinora is transfem nonbinary, and she’s a bit nervous about shaving her head at first to get her tattoos. tenzin reassures jinora that her hair will grow back AND she will have her tattoos, which she’s wanted and has welllll since earned. they have a parent/daughter bonding moment over her distress about finally having grown her hair out as long as it was only to shave it all off. 

and tenzin understands that her nervousness doesn’t mean she doesn’t want them–she asked tenzin about getting them way before that. they are hugely significant to her identity, too, just as they are to theirs. tenzin gets it, and keeps going out of their way to give jinora compliments and use her pronouns in front of her while her hair is still growing back.

and ingores that jinora does the same for them for a little while after they tell her they’re nonbinary. no they’re not crying over how sweet their daughter is you are 😭

tenzin is pretty much freely expressing their gender however they want and living their best life now 😌

nonbinary tenzin… ❤❤ we love to see it

also additional headcanons for other characters that didn’t make it in:

sokka is nonbinary and uses ne/nim pronouns

kai is transmasc nonbianry (he/him)

[helisol]

:)

again not a finished fic but very extensive notes, this one’s a chonker, 4k words

tl;dr: take it a ds9 but make it into high fantasy wizards. garashir, kiradax and quodo. we’ve got it all here folks.

SO BASICALLY 

I read a book about a young witch apprentice in a world where every magician has a ~special name~ based on an object/plant/animal they’re spiritually connected to.

then I watched ds9 and got introduced to the concept of cardassians being lizards.

the result- wizard lizard.

So Garak “The Lizard” is a mage that got exiled from his home country and ended up taking a pretty neat job in a rural area of a larger empire where being a wizard is Cool and Widely Accepted. 

his duties include keeping the villages around his tower safe, looking for young mages to turn into apprentices, and sometimes making clothes because he’s Still A Tailor.

however, because of his chronic “i no wanna work” disease, this lizard has not actually been looking around the villages near him for magically gifted children. shame on him. 

because through his negligence Julian Bashir, young village doctor, grew up without even knowing that he can do ~magic~

but he soon finds out when his town gets attacked by a Big Evil Magic Monster. The Lizard is taking his sweet time to come to their rescue and Julian can’t just sit by and watch innocent people get mauled by a Chimera or Giant Mantis.

So Julian does the heroic thing and jumps inbetween a wounded child and the monster in the exact second Garak shows up.

And he gets to watch as Julian unleashes some Magic for the first time.

Then Garak Kind Of Abducts Julian So He Can Teach Him Magic

Garak is contractually obligated and allowed to take on anyone who is capable of magic as an apprentice, and he finds Julian’s magic interesting enough to invoke that contract now. Not Julian himself though. Only his magic. for now.

Julian- for like, the first week- is NOT OKAY with being teleported into a tower fortress by a wizard he finds intimidating and scary, and he loudly protests when Garak actually starts to teach him magic spells.

However, this is Julian, and he *is* intrigued by the thought of being able to use magic For Doing Good.

So one night he admits defeat and slinks up to the tower and goes “Okay. Compromise. Teach me healing magic.”

To which Garak is like 👀 “Okay.”

They start having regular magic lessons mostly focused on healing, which Julian is just naturally good at. So they move on to other things. Which Julian is Not naturally good at.

And he becomes very frustrated.

Garak tries to assuage him and says that he doesn’t have to be accomplished in every single field and discipline- which is logically true- but Julian is having none of it since Garak is accomplished in every field.

In a fit of anger Julian unleashes emotional magic again and breaks some of Garak’s things. Books, vials, a desk, nothing super major. But Julian is still surprised and shocked at himself for causing trouble like this and he Runs Away. Straight up exits stage left.

And Garak, who just got flung against the wall by his little apprentice, just rushes to the window and looks as Julian runs away and he is. Disappointed.

Next we have Julian returning home and everyone is like "Doctor!!! You were gone for half a year???" And Julian is like "I thought I was only gone for a month at most-"

Yeah the joke is time flies when you’re having fun because Julian *did* have fun living with Garak. He doesn’t regret leaving though, after all Garak was probably furious after he wrecked his study he wasn’t.

So Julian says to himself "Hmph. I'll just stay home for a week. Garak will hardly notice I'm gone. And then I can make it up to him."

But Then He Stays For A Whole Month

He has to instruct a new doctor to take over the nearby villages, do some paperwork, help some sick people, practice some magic on his own- and at the end of the month He Doesn’t Want To Stay Any Longer.

He’s always been different from the other village people, and now he finally got a taste of what it’s like to have someone help you to achieve your potential and widen your horizon and he *doesn’t* want to give that up for a boring but busy country life.

So back to the tower it is. Julian arrives, the place is kind of messy, and when he finds Garak he is in his study. on the floor. a little drunk, definitely sad, and Very Surprised To See Him.

Here we get a scene where Garak tipsily tells Julian how much he’s grown to appreciate him, not just for his magic talent, but as a person- and that he’s missed him.

But The Next Morning Garak Does Not Remember

And he's just like "Oh Julian. Youre back. I'd almost forgotten about you."

For a second Julian wants to punch a wall because *Yesterday You Told Me You Missed Me*, but then he just Smiles. settles for what they have right now. and asks Garak to continue teaching him magic.

so they go on. and have. so many gay moments.

And then Garak gets told to attend some kind of magic council meeting/banquet.

Julian says something along the lines of "Oh well, guess I'll stay home. You know, protect the fort. Practice magic." but he's a little sad about it.

But garak just goes "Hmm No. I'm taking you with me"

"What-" "I'm introducing you as my apprentice to the magic council." "W h a t-" "Oh also you need pretty clothes for this so I'm gonna make you some. Since you’re a commoner with no actual taste." "W H A T-"

So garak makes a really nice suit for Julian and for himself they match and they go to the Cool Wizard Banquet.

At which Julian meets a lot of wizards and witches and he's like "Wow this is so exciting!" but he also realises he is a Total Country Bumpkin And Noob compared to these people and their apprentices.

He also hears that Apparently the Local Wizard of every region is supposed to do a 5-yearly sweep of the surrounding towns to check for kids that have magic potential and then send them to Magic School/take them in as their apprentice directly.

And Garak. Did not do that.

He was Lazy and Angery. Exile will do that to you.

Julian isn’t too happy when he learns about this and he walks out of the banquet hall into the garden- to where Garak follows him.

"So just because you were all bitchy about having to follow this country's rules about magic you let me grow up not knowing my full potential? How many of my childhood friends might be able to do magic if they tried?"

“I was in a really bad place back then."

"SO WHAT? Things are okay now because you found me? If you had been two minutes early during that attack you wouldnt even know I could use magic!"

"...but I *wasn’t* early!"

So Julian just throws up his hands in frustration and leaves to get away from Garak for a while.

The next day he mingles more with the other apprentices and they exchange Ideas and Skills and also Gossip about their teachers.

Some of the apprentices suggest that Julian could go to magic school for a while before applying for a *new* teacher, since obviously Garak did him wrong.

This doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so he talks with some older mages and most of them are friendly and are like “Oh yeah, sure, we’d love to take you in.”

But then it turns out a lot of people are talking behind his back about how much of an outlier he is.

(wizard culture is like 50% magic and 50% gossip)

So Julian is standing on a balcony and down below he hears a group of Douche Wizards discussing his inadequacies.

And it kinda makes Julian feel like absolute shit, so his powers go wobbly again. But then enter stage right: Garak

Who properly puts those wizards into their rightful place like "Say one more bad thing about my apprentice and I’ll blast your punk ass back to Romulus. You should KNOW the reason why I dont usually take apprentices, but here you are anyway saying he has no power. He has more power in his pinky than all of you combined."

Turns out there’s an extra layer to Why Garak didn’t do the "Check for Magicians in your Area" thing- it’s because he openly has no interest in training or working with anyone who isnt Special or Powerful.

Which means Julians happens to be. very special. and very powerful.

And hearing that from Garak makes him go 😳

His emotions are running high and he starts *floating*. Probably the worst thing to do on a first floor balcony out of All The Things To Do On A First Floor Balcony.

So he’s Floating and he doesnt know how to make that Stop.

He panics, starts falling and basically crashes right into Garaks arms.

"Oh great, youre right on time. We're leaving."

"What? But the banquet lasts for a week?" also I'm still a little mad but also a little in love with you?

But Garak has already teleported them back to the tower before he can really argue.

Anyway Julian is upset about many things overall, but mostly that he didnt get to dance. He practiced a lot in his off time.

Thank God Garak Knows This 

"...I know how to make magic music. Let’s have a little fun at least."

They dance and Julian starts floating *again*.

Garak 👀’s @ Julian floating "Okay I’ve been recording most of your emotion based powers. This is new."

Julian just Floats Higher out of embarrassment, so garak is like ‘well I'll just join him up there.’

So he does and Julian is like “WHY CAN YOU DO THAT. SHOW ME HOW TO DO THAT. HOW CAN I CONTROL THIS."

Turns out his emotions are too unclear, which makes his magic unbalanced, so really all they have to do is get him some Clarity.

Garak is like "Well one very easy way to do that is-" and then they kiss in the air. Floating. because I’m gay and I will use gay magic tropes as I see fit.

so that’s the garashir side of things, on to kiradax

There's Some Slow Burn In There

Basically Kira is a mage, but instead of using magic to fight she just Enchants Swords/Arrows/Other Weapons.

Because she fought in a wizard war and when there's not a lot of mana potions to go around you have to get creative.

She didn’t get a proper magician name because she was actually never anyone’s apprentice, but people still call her The Blade because she is just so cool.

Anyway in this universe mages age very slowly, and Kira is probably around 60 years old when she meets Jadzia. Which is not a lot in wizard years.

She does feels a little inadequate about being so Young and Inexperienced she didn’t really expect nor wanted to run into the legendary Jadzia Dax who everyone thinks is like 300 years old, maybe more.

So meeting someone who is her complete opposite just makes her go "Hmph. I dont wanna associate with you." 

But Jadzia keeps popping in randomly around her almost every day until Kira snaps like "WHAT is your problem???"

“I never learned how to enchant tools."

"What."

"Can you teach me?"

"The great Dax has never enchanted a single tool or weapon?"

"I took care of everything with other types of magic. Will you teach me?"

So Kira Nerys, The Blade, the person everyone looked down on because she uses enchanted tools instead of magic for everything- is being asked by this legendary mage to teach her something. What an honor. What an incredible thing.

But She Says No

So Jadzia keeps bothering her every day.

But eventually bothering her turned into "Hey wanna get some coffee? Wanna go to the library with me? Can I look at you while youre in the smithy? Do you wanna look at me while I come up with new magic formulas? Wanna get drunk together and maybe kiss but definitely have no recollection of it in the morning?"

- over a span of 10 years.

But at the end of those 10 years Jadzia still hasnt learned how to enchant tools.

And it takes One day at the magic banquet for Nerys to actually realise the Implications of that.

It’s the third banquet they've been to- together, as each other’s plus one.

They color coordinate their robes and wear matching accessoires. The works.

And Kira decides that now is the day to grill her Totally-Not-Girlfriend about the reason why she sticks around.

"You could have just gotten someone else to teach you how to enchant things."

"Why would I need anyone to teach me, I have you to enchant things *for me*."

"No but before I started doing it for you. Like the whole first five years of knowing me."

"Oh well I didn’t want anyone else because I was very much infatuated with you."

And Kira just bluescreens. Error 404 nerys.exe not found.

Until she catches herself.

"You...*were* infatuated with me?"

"Yes? You obviously never saw me that way though. So I stuck around for the good company and the coffee."

Now you see over the course of 10 years Kira’s irritation about Jadzia slowly turned into Something Else. But she thought Jadzia only saw her as a friend.

On the other hand Jadzia definitely had feelings from the start, but because kira was in Denial she didnt act on those feelings.

If I were a shitty writer or- god foirbid- *Straight*, I would have there be a miscommunication right about now and prolong their useless lesbian suffering.

But I’m not.

Basically Kira just goes 

"Okay but when you say *were* attracted to me does that mean you *stopped*?"

"Uh. No?"

"Cool. Excuse me, I need a moment."

So she tries to hide from this sudden revelation and her feelings in a hedge maze, but there’s no use hiding from Jadzia.

 Who, instead of just walking around the labyrinth to find her like a normal person, basically whacks down the bushes in a straight line until she reaches Kira.

"THERE YOU ARE! I used this completely unenchanted sword to get to you and tell you I definitely still like you. Now will you PLEASE teach me how to enchant tools as your first courting gift?"

And Kira is like "God yes you dumbass-" and they kiss.

now wizard quodo is funny because I kind of started this part as a joke but then it all got Serious

First of all Quark is Actually A Really Powerful Magician.

But what does he do with his great power?

Move from his home country to the city of wizards and open a bar.

Because he is still fundamentally *Quark*.

And Odo is still fundamentally Odo, because he is a Shapeshifting Alien From Actual Outer Space You Know.

He still went through the whole "I was studied by scientists (wizards) and couldnt let them know I was sentient for a long time which made me very grouchy and lonely" thing.

So Odo spends like ~100 years going from captivity/being an object of scientific study to living as a guard in the city of wizards.

Basically everyone thinks that Odo cant use magic- including Odo- because, well, he’s a bunch of slime that came from a meteor.

Then he meets Quark, powerful wizard and bartender.

And he has *no* idea who he is.

Only that he’s the guy who runs that one shady gambling bar and is involved in some illegal business.

And Quark is like "Ah finally. A worthy opponent."

So he and Quark have the same vibe as on DS9- where Quark keeps doing illegal stuff and Odo tries to stop him and the universe decides to say enemies to lovers 400k words slowburn.

And one day Quark gets into some Seriously shady business with some people who are now very aggressively demanding Quark give them their money back

and they're. you know. threatening violence.

Odo shows up and right before this one dude is about to straight up sucker punch Quark he's like "HALT!" and Wow He Made A Magic Happen.

Now. Because Quark is Indebted to Odo. He is expected to take him on as his magic apprentice.

At first he is Not Down For That. They both aren’t. So even though technically they are teacher and apprentice they both just refuse to work together.

Until Odo goes to check up on Quark one day- because as we all know he makes it a point to drop by his bar four times a day just to let him know he's thinking about him- and Quark is in trouble again.

Only this time Odo is like "I'm not gonna help him. I dont even know how I *could* help him. Since he hasn’t taught me any magic, the bastard."

So he wants to just pass by and leave when Quark basically starts to just Demolish these people with magic in a frightening and totally not impressive display.

MIND YOU Quark is still generally incompetent. If this was D&D he'd have like, very low skill points but unlimited spell slots.

Anyway Odo goes 👀

Because him being unable to use magic in a country/city where everyone he *knows* can use magic has always made him feel bad.

So he goes to Quark like "Okay. I changed my mind. Please teach me magic."

And Quark tries to teach Odo magic, earnestly. 

And Odo tries to learn magic from Quark, for real. 

But the key word here is *try*.

Because neither is very good at what theyre *trying* to do.

Odo didn’t Really want to learn from Quark and that's pretty much the reason why Quark doesnt Really want to teach Odo. But They Try.

There’s a lot of fights and arguments and "You’re not doing it right" vs "You’re not explaining it right"

But hey, at least Odo can now do some magic, which makes his guard job a lot easier.

He also gets to socialise more with other wizards and their apprentices, and he becomes a generally happier pile of humanoid goo!

Meanwhile Quark slowly but surely turns into a more Respected wizard. And his bar also becomes a bit more respectable as well.

it's almost like,,they both wanna be,,,,their best selves,,

and learning to work together has Somehow set them on the right path,,,

idk man sounds kinda gay,,,,

But then the banquet rolls around.

Quark is like "Oh fuck I Have to take Odo to this social function because hes my apprentice and thems are the rules."

and Odo is like "Oh fuck I Have to attend this social function with Quark because thems the rules."

The vibe they’re both getting is- "It's all fun and games when we're by ourselves but Somehow acting friendly in public feels Wrong." 

So they agree to Arrive together and then split up and spend as little time as possible together lest they fall victim to some kind of *feeling*.

And like all plans that Odo and Quark make it works out brilliantly for Exactly 5 Minutes.

Because while Quark is talking to his accomplished and very boring wizard acquaintances he kinda realises "God I wish Odo were here-"

And as Odo is talking to all these annoying ass apprentices he kinda realises "God I wish Quark was here-"

So that's what they do on the first day of the banquet. and the second. and the third. 

They just keep only seeing each other from the corner of their eyes but dont really get to talk/argue about anything and it's making them feel Not So Good, Actually

Now the fourth day is the kicker.

Because while Odo is talking to some people he gets tapped on the shoulder and there he is! The worst father on this side of the galaxy! Doctor Mora- but like, as a wizard scientist.

"Oh my god Odo? You’re here? How did you manage that? You can’t use magic dont be silly! *I* studied you and who would know you better than me? What? *you* know yourself better? Nonsense, now walk with me- how have you been :)?"

Obviously Odo is getting Very distressed but he can't exactly say No, so he walks around with Mora.

They sit down near a fountain and his ‘father’ just starts grilling Odo about what he's been up to.

And eventually they start talking about Quark

"Wait, *Quark*? The absolute magic failure who runs that disgusting establishment? That Quark?"

"Well I wouldnt put it like that, he’s not-"

But Mora goes on- "Oh no my dear boy that won't do! You have to learn from a *good* wizard. Like me! Dont you want that? Oh I'm sure you want that. That nasty good for nothing will resign as your teacher first thing tomorrow!"

And Odo is like "Now wait a minute, Quark might have his flaws, but-"

"There! See, you admitted it. He's flawed. He can't possibly be a good teacher for you. But I would be! I *raised* you."

But Odo is getting Rather Angy right about now.

"Well you did a pretty bad job raising me considering you didnt even know I could do magic until now."

"I can’t believe it. Quark is such a bad influence on you. You never used to talk back at me. This is what happens when you hang around with people who dont know you like I do."

Then something in him snaps and Odo just goes Off on Mora.

"MAYBE *YOU* DONT KNOW *HIM* LIKE I DO!"

And he basically breaks the fountain theyre sitting at with some accidental emotional magic.

So after Mora goes "...I better get someone to fix that-" and runs off, Odo is standing in front of this broken fountain and thinks about how this might be a cruel metaphor for his life. And then the worst possible thing happens.

He Spots Quark Badly Hidden Behind A Pillar

Internally he just goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' 

Externally though it’s more like "How much of that did you hear???"

Quark’s trying to lighten the mood with a "Haha well it's hard to avoid hearing things with lobes as big as mine!" 

But Odo is not playing, so he breaks the fountain some more. As intimidation.

So Quark goes "Okay. Alright. I heard all the parts where you defended my honor. Now move aside."

And Odo goes 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAA' inside again, so he doesnt really move but just gets nudged aside by Quark.

Who returns the fountain back to its previous state.

Things are nice and silent for a second but then Quark disturbs the moment by saying "Okay now, real talk- you want another teacher, is that right?"

So Odos head whips up and he goes "No??? What the fuck quark. I thought you listened to that conversation. Youre the only one I want-"

and he Immediately slaps a hand over his mouth because Oh God That Came Out Wrong-

But Quark is just Laughing and being his usual little shit self like "Haha good one, let's go back inside now. (where the social conventions will force us to remain apart so we dont have to confront what you just said.)"

on the inside though- Quark is just as 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA' as Odo

"I absolutely Cannot go inside and socialise right now, I’ve had Quite enough of that." 

"Oh...well then...i'll leave you be?"

"No don’t-"

So Odo quickly grabs Quark’s hand (and Quark just fuckin uh dies on the spot) but he's not very communicative at the moment. So Quark kinda has to just interpret that for himself.

"Aaaaalright- let’s just take a walk then."

So they walk through the rose garden. holding *hands*. and Quark points out nice or interesting things while Odo just nods or hums in agreement.

Until they’ve come full circle and end up back at the fountain, where Quark is like "Okay. Wanna go back inside *now*?" 

Because he swears if they spend one more second like this he will HAVE to kiss this pile of space goo and he’d rather Odo make that decision for him.

And Odo is like "I just want to stay with you."

So Quark is like ‘Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool Cool’, pulls them behind a hedge and kisses Odo.

because on GOD I enjoy the “going from an argument straight into kissing” trope, but that one is actually too on brand for quodo so I HAD to change it up.

[greenwaterskeeter]

College Advice

My brother was like, hey if you have any tips… So i wrote this! And then thought, there’s lots of people on tumblr just now going to college too…

Theres nothing in here about covid or making sure you have enough money– because i dont know anything about being a student during covid and i wouldnt give the same advice for getting money to everyone (and i wouldnt always know how anyway). I assume in the advice that the reader has enough money, because my brother does. That makes a big difference! Someone struggling for money wont have the bandwidth or time, probably, to do a lot of the stuff i advise. Edit: ugh i forgot, this is about US schools, specifically liberal arts US schools. Sorry about that!

Also, I didnt feel right taking the affection out of it once i decided to share it publicly. Help yourself! I may not have as direct an interest in your life, but there’s nothing in there i wouldnt wish for anyone going to college right now. (there’s also quite a bit that I think applies to anyone regardless of whether they do college or not).

Hi ******!

College Advice:

Work: No matter how important your work is or how much you have, take at least one day off a week. No schoolwork or working for money or any kind of work at all that day! (if it works better for you to take a half-day here and there instead of the whole day, that will do). More than one day is preferable, but there may come times when you have So Much To DO that sacrificing your free time doesn’t seem so bad and even one day off feels like too much.

I’m sure you’ve had plenty of this already, but people will keep telling you (by things they say and don’t say) that what you accomplish is the most important thing. It is not. What is most important is up to you– but I think it’s being your own authentic self. That’s complicated of course, but it boils down to: you already have everything you need in yourself, and keeping in touch with what you really truly want and love comes before everything. 

If you flunk out of school and all your nightmares come true and you still remember who you are, I will consider you to have succeeded. (but if you do forget– and so many things conspire to make you forget!– I will still be proud of you). 

GPA: It’s not the same as it was in high school! I won’t get into specific numbers because different schools have different ways of calculating it, and different rates of gpa inflation etc. It’s mostly bullshit. Unfortunately, if you want to go to graduate school, it is bullshit you have to pay attention to, but even then it’s not as all-important as it was in high school. You don’t need a 4.0, not even to become a doctor or a lawyer. A 3.5 or 3.6 is plenty for the highest ambitions, especially given that you’ll be doing extracurriculars. 

I would advise keeping half an eye on the numbers, and not straining yourself for even one additional 0.1 above your target, whatever you decide that is. If you decide not to do graduate school, you honestly could get any GPA as long as you don’t end up on academic probation (which i think goes on your permanent record? Or maybe not. I was on academic probation my last semester of senior year and i’m still not clear on whether it’s on the transcript somehow). After college, people only care that you have your bachelor’s, not what your grades were while you got it. They mostly won’t even care what the bachelor’s is in! It’s very strange, after all the work you’ve put in! (many of them only care that you had the money to go to school, very disappointing)

Extracurriculars: I did a lot of different ones, and still don’t feel entirely qualified to advise about them, because I hated most of them. My mistake was doing things I thought I should do instead of what I wanted to do. I think you should do what you want, even if there’s no existing group for the thing you want to do, for a few reasons. 1. You should enjoy yourself! Having fun is a very serious matter! Keeping the joy of living alive in your heart will make living feel worthwhile, of course, but it will also give you courage and the power to stick by your principles and keep pursuing your goals. 2. It doesn’t actually matter to graduate schools WHAT you did for extracurriculars; what they’re looking for is evidence for what kind of person you are, and they judge that that’s shown through HOW you do your extracurriculars (with commitment and integrity etc) rather than which ones you do. (even so, don’t let the “commitment” part keep you stuck in a soul-sucking activity!)

Choices: You’ll be told you’re supposed to choose your major on a certain timeline, do this and that and everything to very specific deadlines, all very proper. Of course, the more deadlines you meet, the easier things are. But on the other hand– human beings are not machines. You’re allowed to change your mind! Even after you were supposed to be sure! It’s much better to listen to your own misgivings and really look at them to figure out what you want as soon as you know they’re there rather than pushing them down in a panic because you’re not supposed to have them. If they’re ignored, they won’t go away, and they’ll eat at you, and one day they’ll ruin things. (this may be what midlife crises are made of). 

Friends: I know you have an established way of having friends, very different from mine, and that’s a good thing! I also know a lot of people take going to college as an opportunity to finally allow themselves certain things. There’s all kinds of takes on this, from putting on a poorly-done accent to binge drinking to coming out. It’s much better to stretch your legs this way than otherwise, I think. We need all the autonomy we can get! 

My advice here is: trust yourself. Listen to even your very quiet instincts. They’re there for a reason. You may elect to ignore them, but consider them first, and reject them afterwards if you must. The extreme end of this is Having A Bad Feeling. Listening to that has saved me from some sticky situations! A more mild form is the weird feeling of dissonance between you and an old friend. There are many reasons you may feel that, but unfortunately, in college, one of the most common reasons is that you’re becoming different people who aren’t so suited to being friends as your high school selves were. It’s painful! At the same time, it’s okay to love someone and not be together forever– but I suspect you already know that!

The one thing I would absolutely forbid is isolating yourself. It may seem impossible from where you are now, but that’s what I thought at the beginning too. College is a weird place, not exactly school and not exactly work and not exactly home, and it’s too easy to slip into anonymity. Tell your friends how you feel, good or bad! If you feel like you’re imposing on them, impose!! If they love you, they will prefer inconvenience over learning later that you were in pain and said nothing.

How to Learn: It’s true what they say, that teaching is the best way to learn. Your peers may not always welcome this– I was rather disliked in study groups for always explaining the answer, before I reined it in a bit (things were still awkward unfortunately! possibly for other reasons lol). Of course, other people’s jealousy isn’t your responsibility, and you may sow discord with your brilliance with my full blessing. If you’d rather not do that, my advice would be to become a tutor and/or TA in the subject(s) most important to you at your earliest convenience/whenever they allow you to. It really does make you an expert!

Humanities: They’re going to make you read a lot. Excessively, some might say! You’ll learn which readings are actually necessary to pore over, which ones you may skim, and which ones you may skip altogether. Please don’t feel guilty for not always doing all the reading! Almost no one does all of them. I didn’t even do all of them, and I was a stickler for Doing It Right.

Papers: my tricks are the Purdue OWL website (for brushing up on grammar, looking up how to do those goddamn finicky citation styles, seeing examples of finished papers in those styles), outlining, and rest time. Leaving time between drafts of a paper helps a lot! (that being said, I will be very surprised if you make it all the way through college without turning in at least a few first drafts. It’s not the end of the world, and if you’ve got a knack for it, the professors may not even know the difference! Very amusing). Reading through what you’ve written out loud also helps, however silly it may feel. It has to do with how your brain processes information, and hearing what you’ve written is different enough from seeing it that you’ll be more sensitive to errors and weirdnesses. 

STEM subjects: For these ones, it’s more important to do all the homework, because they may only give you one problem per concept. Be very literal about how you interpret things, that’s how folks in STEM usually expect you to think. Office hours are gold, if you can get them (and if the professor isn’t an ass). TAs are hit or miss. Readings are usually super important, relatively short, and can be read multiple times for more benefit.

General knowledge: Don’t forget to think critically! You’d think that’s all you’ll be doing, but in fact most professors only want you to regurgitate their own thoughts back to them. Very disappointing. However, that doesn’t have to stop you! You can always think: “Who benefits from this? What voices aren’t I hearing from in this story?” (even in STEM there are stories). “Why is this important?” In general, don’t stop asking questions! This is where I think true intelligence lies.

I’m sure you don’t need ALL of this advice– please don’t think I don’t think you know what you’re doing! I’m being a little over-cautious not because I don’t trust you but because if there’s any chance of my mistakes and accidental successes helping you do better than otherwise, I want to give all of them that opportunity. Kind of a shotgun approach!

All my love,

Autumn!

[growingingreenwood]

So basically the reason I’m feeling so alone is because I’m nonbinary and I’m out to my friends and they’re really supportive and that’s really nice but I’m not out to my parents because they’re transphobic and lately I’ve just been really dysphoric and every time I hear them use my dead name or incorrect pronouns it just feels like a bullet in my side and I want so badly to be out to them so that I can get a binder and wear clothes that are comfortable for me and use my real name -🏳️‍🌈 (1/2)

another thing that’s bothering me is I’m out to my parents as a lesbian and I have lesbian pride stuff but what if nonbinary lesbian isn’t valid and I have to reinvent my identity? And I’m not out to my best friend because he’s super sheltered and only just recently started to learn that lgbtq+ isn’t bad and I know he’ll support me but I’m worried about losing his parents’ support because they’re like my second set of parents and I love them and I don’t want to have them disown me -🏳️‍🌈 (2/2So this is an add on to my 2 part (now three part) ask. I think my dad might actually be the only one of my parents that’s transphobic. I’m worried that I’m going to tear their marriage apart by being who I am (3/2) -🏳️‍🌈

--I tried to put in a read more link. Didnt work--

Hello my love, I want to firstly apologize for the late response to these questions. I was wary of trying to answer them on my own without any personal experience with this particular situation, because I know how important this situation is important to you. I had reached out to a friend with personal experience but have not heard back about their contribution. So I will answer with the info I have gathered in my psyc classes/ research I've done the past few days/ and helping friends through similar situations. 

I am obviously, by no means an expert, and anybody is welcome to add their KIND, RESPECTFUL, SUPPORTIVE, and HELPFUL advice or stories as well. 

I’ll start with your best friend: 

When I came out as Asexual (I’m acutally Demi-sexual but I didn’t know that yet) to my best friend at the time, I started by sort of… expressing that I felt my current identity wasn’t fitting quite right for me. It felt like something was off with the way I was trying to live my life and be me, I just didn’t know what it was yet. I explained my feelings to her the best I could without applying labels (I was SOOOO stressed because she has a super high sexdrive and works at an adult toy store and all that so yeah) 

So I explained to her that I just didn’t understand what books/songs/ and movies were referring to when they talked about this “sexual attraction you literally cannot resist) because the concept is literally absurd to me. She asked about all of my favriote celebreities and if I would have sex with them or not, and I told her that the thought for real disgusted me. I explained that I had literally never once at any random human and even thought about kissing them, or having them in my space in any romantic way at all. 

A few days later I cam back to her and told her about some research that I had done, and that I had found something that I thought might fit me better. I brought a little quote somebody had written online about how they felt as an Asexual to help those who were questioning themselves help to figure it out. And I pointed out all the places we felt the same. I told her how much better it made me feel to have this label, this one that finally fit because it stopped the thoughts that there was something wrong with me. 

Your best freinds is new to the community, so maybe start by telling him about a really beautiful story about an individual who discovered their Non-binaryr identity and how wonderfully it touched their lives. How it helped to heal their lives. Explain in a greater detail what it means to be Non-binary. Give him a chance to adjust to the idea of the identity, while you continue to talk about it positively. 

Then when you do come out to him, just remember how much he loves you. It might be helpful to ask him at the start of the conversation to not interrupt you or ask questions until you’re done talking or explaining the situation. Another tactic that I often use for really difficult news, is to write it all in a letter and go sit in another room while they read it. This way, you have the freedom to write and rewrite the letter however many times that you want until it sounds how you want it to. In this discussion, you could ask him not to tell his paretns until you are ready for more people to know. Remind him that you’re telling him this because he is your best friend, and you need his support and love now more than ever. Perhapes ask him to do some research on his own before he really decides anything.  

For your parents: 

Coming out to your parents is…… literally so scary. And there is really never a food time in which to do it. Having to live while keeping this secret from them can be so hard, I understand that so much. But your safety is also the #1 priority right now. 

If it is not safe for you to do so, now might be the time unless you can set up arrangements to stay somewhere else for an extended period of time. You are a beautiful person, and the world needs you here, safe, and full of love still. So please, be careful. 

To start, perhaps ask them to use a nickname instead? Perhaps say that friends at school gave it to you or something, and it makes you really happy to hear it. Or that you’ve recently met somebody with the same name as you that you STRONGLY dislike and don’t want to ‘share’ the name with them. Is there any way to start to slowly transition your clothing? 

For example: If your usual style right now is something like yoga pants maybe swap that for a pair of jeans that aren't super form fitting. Instead of getting a binder right away, invest in some really high quality sports bras. It isn’t the exact same effect, but it might help in the meantime and is much safer than using things like tensor bandages. 

If they question this change in dress, perhapes tell them that this is the new style at your school. Or a new trend started by your favorite celebrity. Tell them you’re bored of your old look and wanted something new for a change. Perhaps if you make the changes ‘slowly’ per say it won’t be as jarring to them. 

If you still decide this is a good and appropriate time for you to come out to your parents, it might be a good idea to have the discussion with your mother first. If you think that only your dad is homophobic/transphobic. That way it will be less likely that you will be interrupted during your heartfelt explanations, and your mom should (theoretically) be more open to the idea. It might help you figure out the best ways to tell your dad, but also you’ll have an ‘ally’ of sorts when it happens too. 

More care should be taken into your information and resources, I think, when you tell them. Such as printing out a sheet of websites to help parents to ‘cope’ with their child telling them of their new non-binrary identity. If you want, you can even find the one you connect with most and print it, give that to them on paper with links listed after it. 

Statistics might be nice, like having how many non-binaryr or genderfluid people live in the same city/ state / country as you so that it does not seem so uncommon for them. 

Here is a sample sentence to get things started for you:

“Even though you may see me as a woman, on the inside, I am not a woman and I am not a man. I’ve been using the word ‘genderqueer’ or ‘non-binary’ to describe my gender, which means that I don’t identify with either. If you placed me on a spectrum, with ‘masculine’ being at one end and ‘feminine’ being at the other, I’m somewhere in-between. Identifying as genderqueer has made me feel so much better because being seen as a woman or a male made me feel so distressed and unhappy. Like I was forced into a box at birth that nobody would let me out of it”

Analogies might also be helpful, as it can help frame this new information to them into a more familiar manner. Like this: “Imagine if someone just assumed that you liked ketchup on your hotdogs without even asking you. For your entire life, they refused to put anything on your hotdogs but ketchup – even though you know, deep down, you like relish.

Finally, you decide to come out and say that you like relish. But every time you ask for relish, people say to you, “If you don’t like ketchup, you must like mustard. There are only two options.There are obviously more than two ways to eat a hotdog, just like there are more than two ways to express and explore gender, but society seems fixated on hotdogs with ketchup or mustard – and nothing else.

Similarly, society seems to think there are only two valid options when it comes to gender – man or woman – when there are actually lots of other ways to embody gender, and even ways of having no gender at all.” 

A good strategy for serious conversation is to use a lot of “I felt” or “I feel” statements. That way, you are still expressing yourself and your feelings while also not making them feel like you are attacking them directly or anything. For example, a good sentence might be to say: “

I feel afraid that if you knew who I really was, that I would lose you,” or “I have been feeling very alone lately, and I’m hopeful that now I won’t be.” 

Lastly, I would suggest being prepared to tell everybody but especially your parents exactly what you need from them in this situation. You may be familiar with all of this terminology and stuff but they arn’t. This is alien territory to them, help them help you by making the things you require them to do or change as clears as possible. Maybe write down a list. 

Stop using my dead name. (Maybe work together on a good nickname with them to use instead? When my friend transitioned from FTM, when he legally changed his name he went with “Emmet” instead of “August” like he wanted, so that his mother could still call him “Em” which had been his nickname since childhood, as he was born with the name ‘Emily.” This might help your parents feel like they still have ‘their’ child still.\

I need to change the way that I am dressing, because it makes me feel very uncomfortable and self consciousness. 

And whatever else you might need form them. 

My beautiful little bean, if you come out to your parents and one of them wants to support you, and one of them doesn't and it ends up breaking them up, I’m certain that they had differences fundamental enough that its probably for the best. And if they didn’t have fundamental differences, they do now. 

One of them took the fundamental concept of parenthood seriously and one didn't: The concept of loving and supporting your child for as long as you’re around on the earth to do so. 

I don’t really think the difference could possibly be more fundamental. 

Sometimes, it takes people a while to get used to the idea. If they react negatively now, they might still change their minds the more they think it over / see how much it means to you. Some people (like my own mom) H A T E change. Hate it. And their first response is always to go on the defensive without thinking. I think you all will have to remind yourselves and eschither to have patients with this.

Remember: Your worth as a human can never change, no matter how much it may feel like it can. You are starting your journey to find the home and the body that you were made to find, its scary, so so so scary. So take your time, enjoy your path. Take deep breaths. Others will ALWAYS love you for the divine creation that you are. The worlds is always ready for you to meet the next ones to love you.

I hope this has helped a little bit at least. I love you. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

[ariesbilly]

Please tell us about fp sobbing in the river while all the other riverparents hold onto him...

why do yall want me to suffer...

i dont even know if i wouldve gone straight for a direct parallel like that, i was more just thinking about the general concept of it. but i mean, dont get me wrong i definitely did think about everyone in an actual river/lake/whatever recreating that exact scene i just dont know if thats the route i wouldve taken had i actually written it

but anyway i had this one idea about the midnight club all breaking in to the school the night after freds funeral (but like mary and gladys and probably hal wouldve been there too because fuck canon. and hiram and hermione wouldve also been there and not in jail. and penelope would not have been on the run... god i had shit thought out about fp and penelope having a conversation too.... listen i had a lot of thoughts about a lot of things but thats not what this message is)

BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND

so anyway everyone wouldve been together in the school and its all solemn obviously because fred has left such a huge hole in the group, but then gladys or somebody pipes up and starts sharing this really funny story about fred from back in the day and it gets everybody kinda smiling, half laughing, loosening up. fps like off by himself in a corner just keeping quiet the whole time, but as more stories get told, some of which he was involved in, his mouth starts turning up and its the faintest hint of a smile but its something. and by the time everyones gone around swapping stories the mood in the room is a lot lighter than when it started, but fp still hasnt said anything and it hasnt gone unnoticed

so everyone kind of turns to him and mary asks if hes got any stories he wants to share (and of course he does, hes got a million stories and they all know it) 

hes silent for a little bit before he clears his throat and starts talking about this one time they were at pops real late, fp had just gotten into it with his dad so he didnt want to go home and fred had just sat with him in the booth to keep him company, was trying to cheer him up. so fred had been putting on these stupid voices and doing really bad impressions trying to get fp to laugh and it was working a little bit but not as much as fred liked, so fred had started picking at his fries and flicking them at fp and of course fps first reaction was confusion and a tinge of annoyance but fred had this smirk on his face that always meant trouble and it didnt take long for fp to catch on and soon enough they had a full blown food fight in the middle of pops at 11:30 at night. fortunately they were the only two patrons around but by the time pop got them to stop they were covered in ketchup and mustard and milkshake and pickles and pop was yelling his head off at the two of them that they had to clean up the mess themselves which was admittedly a pain in the ass but by that point they couldnt stop laughing and fp had all but forgotten about his dad and even while they were mopping up the floor and wiping down the table they had these big smiles on their faces

and fps smiling as he tells the story but hes got tears in his eyes that he keeps wiping away. and everyone around him is smiling and chuckling along too (alice had chimed in with some commentary about how immature they were but it didnt really hold any bite)

and as the story winds down fps just kinda sitting there thinking about freds smile that night and he can still hear freds laughter ringing in his ears and suddenly its hitting him that hes never gonna hear that again. its hitting that fred always knew how to cheer him up and hes never gonna have that again either and soon enough theres this sob racking through him and even though it wasnt ever really talked about, everybody knows that fred and fp werent just friends. that there was always something deeper. and its abundantly clear now with the way fp cannot keep himself together. gladys and mary are the first ones that go over to him, wrapping him up tight in their arms, gladys holding him to her chest. alice goes over next and holds the hand that fp isnt using to cover his face. everyone kinda follows suit after that and its not long before fps in the middle of this giant group hug which usually would make him feel wildly uncomfortable but he cant really focus on anything else right now besides the memory of fred. hes hardly even aware whats happening around him but eventually he looks up and realizes whats going on around him its a lot to take in. because at the end of the day none of them are friends, not as a whole anyway. and he knows the only reason theyre all even together right now is because freds gone. and its not like he even wants them all to be friends anyway. hes perfectly fine with how things stand between them all but... its nice that they can all come together even if just for a little bit for this.

but once he finally somewhat pulls himself together he says “well this is embarrassing” and everyone laughs and starts to disperse, gladys kisses his temple and she and mary are the only ones that stay close to him.

i also like the idea of alice going over to the window and carving the + between fred and fps initials because in my mind the reason she carved them next to each other in the first place was because she was one of the few people actually in the know about their relationship in high school and she was being a good friend and did that for the gays because she knew fp wouldve carved their initials all over the damn town if he could but this was a stealth way to give him what he wanted. a good friend, really. we love friends. :) so anyway now shes just completing the though but please BELIEVE if there is a lovers bridge or some shit in riverdale fp took his ass down there the next day and finally carved his and freds initials himself! ive cried 15 times writing this 

anyway you could also just take all this and apply it to everyone going down to the swimming hole that julia and i have discussed MANY a times and everyone just kinda having a day celebrating fred cuz he used to love going down there in the summer and fp ends up sobbing in the water cuz he keeps thinking about all the secret trips he and fred used to take up there themselves... im depressed

[calm-me-down-oh]

How about all the questions ;)

skdsjf ofc u would get me back for that, under a readmore bc theres a lot!

When was the last time you masturbated? Yesterday! Had a.. very hot convo w my gf

Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering? Uhh the only time Ive had it done to me the person had to stop bc they got uncomfy with it and it was overall just a bit odd,, wait it happened a second time and their nails were too sharp also sdkfhsdh I feel like I could get to like it though? If its like, actually properly done rather than my current experiences sdhfk

How do you feel about food during sex? nno thanks mostly? I guess it can kinda depend on the food though idk, like if my gf suggested somethin I might not mind trying it out depending on what it was yknow

What do you do directly after sex? um.. well afaik just kinda lay/sit in a daze for a moment, mayb have some water, get real clingy, kind of have to be nudged into doing stuff bc i guess my brain just stops working skjdfkj

Cuddle with the tip in? Hell yeah. cuddle with it all in. sounds good.

What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done? I don’t think I’ve really done anything nasty sdjkfsj all the sex ive had has been quite brief and vanilla idk

Name a follower you would fuck. @you-better-make-me!

Name a follower you have fucked. None..

What’s the sexiest part of your body? Idk man I guess my thighs are ok people seem to like them anyway

FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe Am i supposed to know who these people are

Would you ever be with a trans person? i think the real question is would i ever be with a cis person (yes i would be with a trans person i am with 2 trans people and i am trans and i havent dated anyone cis since i was like 15)

Riding dick or doggy style? yes

Ever fucked in a school? Nope

Most random place you’ve had sex? havent really had sex in a random place lmao just beds

Would you ever be part of the mile high club? maybe..? thats having sex on a plane right. idk. maybe

Name three of your spots. what does this mean fkjd

Fuck on the first date? Depends

Do you suck dick? I’m sure gonna try!

Do you eat ass? Idk maybe not skdfjhsjk

Do you eat pussy? Haven’t yet, nearly did, got too nervous sdkjfh

Do you like kissing? So much!!

Is farting during sex sexy? I.. I mean its not sexy but like im also not gonna have a negative reaction. unless its me. that is something im admittedly very nervous about fkjd

Ever fucked in the shower? Nope

How old were you when you lost your virginity? Uh............ good question. 19 or 20 i forget if it was before my birthday but within the last year. unless you only count penetrative sex, then I haven’t yet

Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night? Y..yes? I suppose afternoon/night is usually a better time, morning is jsut sleepy and trying to remember how to exist hours

Do you like drunk sex? Haven’t had it but I do get horny when I drink, wouldn’t be against trying it with someone I trust

Do you like high sex?  Again never had it! And I haven’t really been high either so Idk

FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll N..none for any

When was your first kiss? I was like 13 I think

How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to? College

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Nope. Wait maybe. Kind of. Idk when I was younger I was with this guy who would try get me to touch myself n I hadn’t figured out how to make it feel good so I’d just lie and say I was when i wasnt bc i didnt wanna do it so maybe at some point i said i came when i hadnt sdfhks

Ever painted/been painted on? Yeah but not in like a horny way, my ex would paint on my hand as kinda their way of flirting with me

You like sex toys? Sure

What’s your favorite sex position? Personally think missionary is underrated bc that closeness and being able to cling just sounds v good but also getting fucked from behind face down ass up also sounds,, v good lately

Sex on a bed, couch, or floor? beddd, maybe couch, floor just seems uncomfortable

Do you like car sex? Never had it, just seems a bit awkward but I guess I’d be open to trying it

You get instantly horny; what happened? My neck got bit!

FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina. Kill chris brown. idk who the others are

Describe your crush. Don’t have one!

Woukd you ever be with someone with an incurable STD? Uh... Idk? I mean, theres preventative measures for basically all std’s right? So as long as those are taken so i dont also get it I guess it’d be ok

Rate your head game. No clue dkfhdsj

Rate your sex. Awkward!

Would you fuck someone outside of your race? ?? yes. what kind of question is this

Describe the type of freak you are. idk what this means but what first came to mind was ‘pet’ so take that as u will

Ever tasted your own nut/cum? Sure

Into golden showers? Nope

Body count: Under or Over 25? Wayyy under

How do you feel about nipple play? Uh depends! Not into being harsh like clamps etc just seems like itd hurt n not in a good way, but playing w/ them w ur hands and sucking on them. very good

Where do you like to be nutted on? chest/stomach seems good

Which are you better at: topping or bottoming? bottoming

What do you consider “too small?” Idk man dick is dick idc

Is play fighting foreplay? It sure can be!

Do you like angry sex? In concept maybe, in reality itd just kinda scare me

How long should a quickie be? Idk.. quick

How long is “too long” to have sex? Idk sex ends whenever one of u wants to stop, don’t think u can go too long if ur both comfortable with it

How long is “too long” to go without sex? Listen i.. am not the person to be asking this I’ve had sex maybe 3 times spread out over almost a year. i have never regularly had sex

Is “no” relevant in a relationship? Incredibly relevant!! Always!! Unless you’ve discussed beforehand that its ok to ignore it and have a safeword in place instead!! and then that safeword is not to be ignored!!

Do you believe in no-strings-attached sex? Sure but idk if i could do it

Would you have sex in a public bathroom? mmmaybe....

Would you have sex in a changing room? mmmmmmmmaybe

Who was the last person you had sex with? My ex

Describe your type. Idk I have the weirdest type i think they have like nothing in common then theyll all turn around and be into the same stuff or something its v strange

Name 3 turn-ons. Biting, just making out sometimes tbh, skin contact in places usually covered by clothes or under clothes..

Name 3 turn-offs. Umm. i definitely have turn offs but whenever im asked my mind goes blank. I guess being overly rough, hair pulling im undecided on tbh, and oh i usually dont like having my ass smacked but idk if itd change if it were like.. in the middle of sex

Name something that would make you stop in the middle of sex. Bad pain or panicking or it seems like the other person is uncomfortable. or someones knocking on the door for some reason sdkfjs

Would you answer a phone call during sex? no omg

Would you ever pay for sex? Nah.

Would you accept money for sex? Uh. Maybe? Wouldnt ask for it tho

How do you typically feel after sex? Mostly affectionate and good, but w the last person i was with sometimes it seemed like they just wanted it over and done with so i would get kinda nervous and guilty over that,, idk

Do you like your body? Nah

Ever sent nudes? Yep

Have you ever cheated on someone? Yeah he was abusive

Have you ever been cheated on? Idk, maybe, wait i think the guy i cheated on tried saying he cheated on me too but idk if he was just trying to get back at me so

Would you have a threesome? If I trust the people sure

Would you have a foursome? Same as above

Would you take part in an orgy? Uhh idk maybe, same as above applies tho

Would you let’s train be ran on you? Again if I trust the people yeah sure

How often do you masturbate? Idk it really depends sometimes im really horny and its like daily maybe more than once a day and then sometimes i just dont for like. a while

Sex with the lights on or off? on.. how are u meant to see what ur doing otherwise sdjkhfs

Sex with music or tv in the background? Sure, idc really. Though i have a thing if its like.. kids stuff.........dont do that..........

Do you have a cousin you’d fuck if you weren’t related? wtf no

In your last relationships, rate the sex? Uhh... good? I mean, good at the time, though like i said sometimes felt a bit rushed, and that now makes sense and i have very mixed feelings on it but mostly guilt bc the person i was with has since said they werent really into it. so.

Do you sleep naked? Nah I at least have underwear on

How often do you go commando? Never

Are your nipples pierced? If not, would you get them pierced? Nope

Do you dive right into sex, or converse first? Uh, depends? Talking about it beforehand or even during can be good though. But i guess it doesnt have to be Right before it, it can be a bit in advance

After taking your clothes off, what’s the first move? Kiss.. touch,, etc,,

Do you make the first move? Um. w my ex i kinda had to bc as i said, i later found out they werent really into it. other than that i generally dont tho bc im very nervous abt all that, kinda especially after that discovery hdfbghf

Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day? Nope

Do you like dryhumping ? Sure

Can you twerk or do a split on a dick? Probably not

Have you ever been recorded during sex? No but I’ve had a dream abt being recorded sucking someones dick it was weird

Do you watch porn during sex? W. who does that. how can u focus on that. why would u watch sex when ur having sex skdjfhsjdk

After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand? Never had a one night stand

What’s your kink? Praise! Marking! Collars!

Would you hook up with the same hook-up again? I don’t think i could have a hook up tbh so no

Ever made a relationship from a one night stand? nope

How romantic are you during sex? uh.. idk havent rly had chance to try being romantic during sex but soft sex sounds v good imo

Describe your sex in 5 words or less. in my experience so far? nervous and kinda awkward

[kae-karo]

[1] hi!! so idk if you've seen dan speaking at the mental health panel or not, but there was one part that hit me really hard and id love to know your thoughts on it! basically he was saying that often content creators, and people in general, are struggling with their mental health the most when it seems like they're thriving (uploading constantly, getting good grades, etc) but everyone thinks they're fine. which is literally my life rn but i can't take a break from overworking myself bc i need

[2] to get into college. do you have any advice abt how to provide for my future while still taking care of myself? also, i just want to thank you for running such a healthy and positive blog bc it has helped me thru some difficult times, and you seem like such a thoughtful and caring person!

hi dear! oh no :( I'm so sorry, that's such a hard position to be in - I havent been in school for a few years, and not in high school since 2012 yikes lmao, so I'm sure things have changed a bit but hopefully I can still give some advice that helps?

I'd say first and foremost, talk to a trusted adult you know in person about how you're feeling - whether that be a parent, older sibling, favorite teacher, advisor, etc. they may have advice more specific to your situation that might take into account details I dont know. and while this is my first piece of advice, it can also be the hardest? sometimes facing our demons and being honest about them with others who have only seen our "good side" can feel impossible, but it can be a crucial step to help build a support system that you can go to when you feel you're struggling

the next thing I'd say is, on a small scale, start taking time for yourself. I know that's like. the hardest thing to do when you have like 6hr of homework a night, minimum, plus clubs or sports or other activities that take time, but literally even sneaking five minutes between some bits of homework to do something that's calming and centering for you can make a difference - if you can grab five minutes to go sit in a space you feel comfortable, away from your work, to breathe and think about something other than your work, that can be helpful

the next one is sorta like. tangential, but take care of your body as well - you're still a growing and developing human, so this is ESPECIALLY important, but drinking lots of water (and not too many sugary drinks/chemical drinks) and eating veggies and getting enough protein can literally make such a big difference in your brains ability to function at it's best. the other important thing here is sleep - every body is different, so keep in mind what your body does best on and (when you can) aim for that. between hydration, good nutrition, and sufficient sleep, you're laying a foundation that can help your brain be more successful throughout the day

I wish, ultimately, i had a perfect answer for the fucked up school system (esp in America which is what I'm most familiar with), but it honestly sets you up to fail. what (unintentionally) worked well for me was having a blow-off class or two - classes that were easy for me (like sign language, or French 1 after I'd already taken Spanish for several years) and could help boost my GPA without stressing me out as much. if you can find those classes- and definitely look for the ones that are easy for YOU, don't just ask around for the easiest classes - that can be a really nice break in your day and help relieve you of some after-school stress

here's another "honesty is the best policy" situation - if you find yourself struggling to understand a concept, or homework is taking you so much longer than some of your peers (or the teacher says theres only an hour of hw a night and you end up spending far longer on it) talk to the teacher! tell them you're struggling, and ask if you can get some help understanding a topic. be specific about what you dont understand (dont just go "I dont get it") and explain your thought process - this can help teachers understand where you're veering off the path and what you might be missing. and, more importantly, if you're coming in for help, they're more likely to be lenient with you because they know you're trying (yes I'm aware that was more a "school help in general" bit of advice but in case that's something you're struggling with)

now heres....maybe some controversial advice. take calculated risks. example: if a teacher has a policy where they drop your lowest homework grade in a class and you're doing alright in that class, but you have a day where you're saddled with WAY too much work for another class where you're struggling, it's okay to say "okay, today I need to go to sleep by 10pm, I can either finish this difficult homework or complete homework for the class that will drop a grade", sometimes it makes more sense to skip that one homework and get a zero to spend time dedicated to the class you're struggling in and get rest. in a similar vein, there is also a limit to studying - there is a point where you physically cannot absorb more knowledge. it is so much better for your brain - both from a focus and memory standpoint - to get a little extra sleep than to stay up late studying well past the point where you will retain knowledge.

now....again, I havent been applying to colleges in ages so my advice might be a bit stale, but colleges tend to look for good grades but also challenging classes, or improvement over time in classes, etc etc. they want to know you're working hard, and that you have diverse interests. college apps are a bit like resumes honestly, except you cant lie about your GPA. but like. you can fluff everything else. literally EVERYTHING becomes fair game with college apps. you can talk about fanfic or a fandom you're in if you phrase it the right way, like there are barely rules lmao. and you can make yourself sound very appealing

so my advice would be basically this: work hard, but learn your personal limits. figure out how much sleep a night makes you feel awake and focused the next day (again, it varies!) and aim for that as much as you can. try to eat nutritiously when you can, and drink lots of water. dedicate time to your homework and studying, but be sure to take regular breaks and ACTUALLY shift your brain away from your work during those breaks. and it's also good to dedicate time to life activities - like I said, colleges want to know you're a diverse person. spend time in clubs you like or playing sports if that's your thing, or do things unconnected to school. and remember, you can fluff that all up on a college app! but also remember - you have to live with you for the rest of your life, and there are so so many paths to a good job or a college education if that's what you decide you want, be sure to prioritize your health as much as you can. the education system tricks you into this never ending cycle of "if I just push through ___________ I'll get to ___________!" and taking that through your life can be really challenging and exhausting. I need to acknowledge that some of this is easy for me to say - I was a good test taker in high school, I went to college, and I bullshitted my way through (that's a whole other story lmao) but like. I need to acknowledge that, by some privilege and luck, I do have a college education. so when i say this next thing, please take it with a grain of salt, but there is more to life than chasing what society tells us to chase - there is family, there are friends, relationships, hobbies and interests and love and dreams and spending hours playing video games and SLEEP and getting sunburned cause you spent too long out under the sun photosynthesizing and collecting pens or shiny rocks and ANIMALS there is so so so much in life and I hate with such a burning passion that, for the first 22 years of our lives, we are told the ONLY thing in life is getting through college, getting a degree. again, I need to acknowledge that I say that with a background of privilege, and that education can help people get out of bad situations, etc, but there are many paths to education and they dont all require you to put life on hold to get there

let me tell u a story real quick, cause my education looks (from the outside) "easy" (turns out I had depression and eating disorders of all kinds yeehaw !!!!). my sister did NOT have an easy time in school - my parents could afford it, so she had a tutor for some of her challenging subjects, but she also dealt with anxiety and depression the entire time. she didnt get into the college she wanted to, but got put in a sort of program where, if she got good enough grades in some community college courses, she could get into the school. so she worked her ass off, dove even deeper into her mental health issues, but eventually did get in. and then she had challenging classes and didnt have a great support system, and she ended up failing out of many of her classes, to the point where she got put on academic probation. so she took a year off, got a job at a daycare, and I have literally never seen her happier or more well-adjusted. shes going back to school now, for early childhood education, and working part time at the daycare while she takes a light course load at school

another story for you - my aunt graduated high school and went straight into the workforce. she came from a dirt-poor family and couldn't afford it. she bounced around a bit, but eventually found company that she worked well with. they paid for her to go to school, and she finally got a degree many years after what we would consider "traditional". she had a few other jobs, but shes been at her current company now going on 20 years, has been through several promotions, and works directly with a c-suite employee. she is also the only woman in her office, a very traditional trucking company where she works with engineers on a daily basis

there are many paths to education, if that's where you want to go, and it's okay if it ends up looking different from the traditional path were told to follow. do what you can to avoid sacrificing your mental health for an education - if its what you want, you will get there. and remember to ask for help along the way!! I hope that helps a little, dear

[rhodesmystery]

um. smutfic. i joked about 3hrs but then got embarrassed about posting until i bought my vow hoodie from bungie and got such a rush and now here we are lmfao 

2.5k words of pwp. god bless. charlie x mc

Charlie finds her standing by the window. Not so unusual, all things considered. One of the first places he always thought to look, whenever they happened to be together. Something about staring out, letting her thoughts get away, eased her. He knew that much. 

However, Charlie had mostly found her clothed in the other times. Or as close to it. A shirt of his that was barely hiding anything wasn’t passable, and it wasn’t the first time he was thankful they had enchanted his windows to be one-way only. He didn’t want to think what would be said about some poor soul walking past and seeing Natasha the way she was. 

With a yawn, loud enough to alert her, and a roll of his shoulders, Charlie steps completely into the room. Mismatched, with parts kitchen, living and dining, all in one. Not that he minded, as it was his. Much like her, as he happily thought, when Natasha turned. Never a hint of sleepiness in her, with bright eyes and lips half turned up into a smile. Yeah, he knew she already knew that he was awake, but it was the entrance that mattered. Especially when he scratches his chest, stomach, only to rest his hand idly on his thigh.

“Morning.” Once, Natasha told him that she loved his voice in the morning. Didn’t tell him what exactly it was she loved, but he had made a note since then to take full advantage of it.

Natasha is surprisingly quiet with her response. A tumble of ‘morning’, that’s soft and private. Charlie might’ve thought something was wrong, if her eyes weren’t pointedly south. That gets a smile out of him.

“Thought you’d still be in bed.” Idle conversation, to fill the gap between him and her. Until he took those seven exact steps to stand before her. “Missed you.”

“Did you now?” Natasha is facing him now, and he can see his shirt was open, not even buttoned in some vague attempt for decency. Like this was some grand scheme of hers (and he was playing right into her hand). “I’m sorry.” Her lack of sincerity was hilarious, and his laughter was infectious, as she giggles to herself. Enough to distract him again. 

Charlie always liked her tits. Or, maybe he should call them breasts outright, to add some politeness to the conversation. But Natasha clasps her hands behind her back, purposely jutting them out at him, that he can see the swell of each, and how the shirt was barely holding on to cover her nipples. He was definitely going to commit this to memory.

“You should be.” Still trying to keep his tone vague. Not focus on how he could almost follow an arrow that pointed down, between her breasts, over her stomach. Like everything was shouting look at me, and he ate it up. Taking a lot for him not to just sink to his knees and eat her until she screamed his name. Forecast was telling him that was his immediate future.

With a fleeting look back at Natasha’s face, to gauge where she was at, Charlie gets a rather satisfied smile. Yeah, yeah, she read his thoughts, thought herself to be so smart about it too. Not like he wasn’t being obvious about it, cock at half mast already just thinking about her. Natasha, in his shirt, unbuttoned and open, and legs spread just enough, leaning against the window, a hand idly running down her front. Like he hadn’t already had that image in his mind since he’d walked out the bedroom.

“What ever can I do to make it up to you?” And the lines were corny, something out of the really bad movies she was fond of mimicking, except with the way she punctuates her words, making it different. Implications abound.

Charlie moves in a bit closer, a half step forward. Until there’s not else in his vision except her, her lips, her eyes, the spattering of freckles over her nose and the mismatched scars along her jaw. Practically swims in the green, noticing they were darker than any other day. And he loved why he knew that happened. Natasha kisses him, and it’s slow, deep, the only touch. Just the tilt of their heads, the slide of their tongues, and each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

Eventually, it’s his turn to make the move. And not to romanticise their positions, knight takes queen, pushing her against the window, pressing against her entirely. Never breaking the kiss, just hands trying to pull the shirt off, to find skin, only to end up with it tangled around her elbows. To trace along the curve of her spine as she arches into him. Natasha moans against his mouth, her nails burning into his shoulders, Charlie please. Please, the real magic word. Held a lot of weight, when applied properly. Like how it sits pleasantly on his head, as he begins a trail down.

Soft kisses, trying to catch every inch he could. Charlie could never tire of this, even if he knew how embarrassed she got. How she insisted on reciprocating. Not that he minded that outcome, of course, but there was something to be said for how Natasha’s face would look, when he looked up at her. Always partway there to covering her mouth, eyes heavy and hair a mess. Chest heaving, and a flush that coloured her pink. He didn’t know how many times he was up to, with calling her beautiful, but he was bound to crack a thousand eventually, surely. 

Natasha just snorts, trying to play off her embarrassment. Hand on his head, edging him down further. Charlie can only grin, kneeling as comfortably as he could, hands on her thighs. Encourages her wider for him, further still. Fingers tease her nipples, and Charlie can only savour the first strong lick in response. 

Something almost like a hiccup escapes her, and Natasha visibly shudders. With two fingers, Charlie parts her lips, and finds exactly what he wants. What he knew would have her all but shake on him. Charlie sucks, nips, laves her clit with attention, trying desperately to keep his eyes closed, but unable to stop from looking up. He loves when she looks like that, flustered and letting control go. 

Fingers that had spread her move to touch, to feel. Dragging across her seam, barely pressing against her. Charlie has to stop from smiling, when he feels the telltale buck as with one finger, he drives in a little further, but never quite enough. So soon? he thinks, but doesn’t complain. Not like he wasn’t in the same boat. At that thought, Charlie runs a hand over himself, pulling away from her clit only to look down, notice he was leaking. 

Not that he wanted to hurry, but with another twist of his wrist against his cock, he turns back. Ah well, he could make it up to her later. 

Tongue pressing against her, Charlie edges in. The slick sounds, normally off-putting in any other circumstance, always made Natasha a little weaker in the knees. Or it might’ve just been his good work, as she’s saying his name, muffled only by the sleeve of the shirt. Fingers circle her clit, and his free hand pulls at her cheek, massaging, spreading. A barely there teasing touch, against her ass, until he leans back again. 

Switching hands, replacing tongue with fingers, Charlie turns to watching her carefully. How her face may contort into something other than pleasure, when he presses one finger in. Slow, turning, brushing along her inner walls. Last night she’d mentioned that she was sore, a little more than usual. Perhaps Natasha knew what he was looking for, in how she meets his eye entirely, whispering his name as a second finger joins the first. No outward signs of discomfort, especially not when her fingers twist in his hair, tugging strands with a certain amount of force.

“Feels good?” Charlie has to ask, anyway. Can’t help himself. 

Natasha huffs, sending hair flying up. “Yes, Charlie, Merlin’s beard, if you don’t make me come, I swear—”

Even though he’s laughing, he cuts her off. One somewhat satisfied customer then. Curls his fingers, thumb pressing against her clit, and laves attention on what skin he could find with his tongue. Scissors his fingers, free hand perhaps the only thing holding her upright as she all but presses her weight down on his shoulders. From how she bent over him, Charlie could hear her whispers clearer, her pleads. 

Nope, not letting go until she’d come, good and hard. She's shuddering, Charlie yes please right there god yes. Charlie knew about the muggle god that her father’s family worshipped. It was oddly satisfying to hear that name mix in with his, to the point where he didn’t know who was who, as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. 

Natasha comes with a low, long moan. Not her first orgasm, no sir, but definitely one that has her lock up and quiver all at once. Charlie rides her through it, slow circles drawn out, just how she liked. Knew exactly where to touch, where to hold, as she comes down. Time isn’t a concept, as Natasha struggles to push herself back up, eventually leans against the window for support.

And then she says: “You’ve gotten better at that.” As if she’s not heaving in air, sensitivity overloading with how Charlie can’t seem to run a hand up her legs without her nearly giving out.

“I’ve had practice,” is what he says instead. If only because he’s getting a kick out of how he splays his fingers over her stomach, and she has to close her eyes. Bite her lip. 

Puffs of air that resemble try to resemble a laugh leaver her. “Oh, really? What’s her name?” Natasha tries to keep the conversation light and teasing, but Charlie knew. Probably a light draft would have her tumble over once again, if aimed right.

“Natasha. You probably don’t know her. Great gal. Fantastic tits.”

When she laughs, it’s the best sound Charlie had heard in months. Head thrown back, genuine kind of laugh, that ignores the situation and encompasses it all at once. Natasha grins, slack and easy, running a finger over his lips. Charlie chases it, nibbling on the tip, which earns him a pointed look. One he was quite happy to keep around. 

Leaning in, Natasha kisses him. Hot and wet, far too much tongue, and he knows that she can taste herself. The knot in his stomach tightens, acutely aware of how he was running warmer than usual. Along her lower back, Charlie drags his nails, finds her hips. Palms her into turning around, breaking the kiss despite her noise of disapproval. And he might’ve told her that if she just asked him to come on command, he would’ve then and there, except Charlie manages to get her with her back to him, hands firmly planted on the window. 

As Charlie rights himself, one hand firmly stroking his cock as he lines himself up, does he notice how Natasha turns to look over her shoulder. As if regaining some bravado in that moment, she smirks, wiggles her hips. 

“This is new for you.” 

With a snort, Charlie can only settle for giving her ass a light slap. “Shut up.” Perhaps he was a little mollified. Not to say that he was the most adventurous, as he knew he wasn’t and more often than not blushed his way into Natasha all but dominating. Definitely not his fault that he was far more favourable of the lower end of the scale. 

Fine, fine. If she was going to be all smarmy about him branching out, then he'd show her! As long as he could figure out how to stop his ears from burning as he eased his way in. Charlie moans, as she's twitchy and wet around his cock, not helping how Natasha pushes up onto her toes, fingers pressed against the glass. With a few blinks, Charlie is able to see just how the glass steamed in front of her, with every breath she took.

“I’m gonna move.”

“Thank god.”

Chuckles dissolve into pitches in breathing. Like there was just not enough oxygen in the room, and Charlie was definitely a little dizzy, enamoured, whatever, when he grips her hips and pulls her back to meet his thrust. Pushes a hand up, moving the damned shirt up with it, following the arch of her back. Until he lets it fall back again, settling for her shoulder to hold instead. 

Natasha isn’t quiet. Not by a long shot. Settled for thanking her later that she’d been the one to soundproof the house on her arrival. Faster harder Charlie pleasepleaseplease. And he tries to keep up what she’s saying, how he lets go of her hip to palm his way to her front. Find her clit and rub at it furiously, which does nothing except have her cover a moan with her arm. Even as she twitches, tries to pull away, tries to keep meeting him thrust for thrust, Charlie keeps at it. Nothing if not consistent. One of her hands joins his, Natasha’s fingers slipping along his, brushing what was exposed of his cock as he continued to move inside her. 

It's when he presses his forehead between her shoulder blades, does Charlie struggle. Hand slipping from her shoulder, he finds her hand against the window, threading fingers and gripping until his knuckles turn white. Embarrassingly so, holding her firmly against him as he comes. Moans against her skin, something that was definitely her name if a little garbled, until she follows only seconds later. 

Charlie doesn’t know how to move. Limbs felt heavy and light all at once, as if he moved even one foot, he’ll just fall flat on his face, either way. Blinking, the world doesn't stop spinning. Not yet, but he gingerly slides himself out. Regrettably, and “sorry,” when he spies the telltale spill begin to trail down her thighs. Too bad he was tired, or it might’ve been able to roll him into action, strangely so (except, he was acutely aware that his lower half was almost numb, brain fuzzy, eyes only trying to find her face).

As she turns, Natasha faces him with heavily lidded eyes, and a very pleased smile. “It’s fine.” But she’s leaning against the window, as if she didn’t trust her own legs too. With a blush that spread to the tops of her breasts, hair mussed and eyes dark, Charlie knew she was beautiful. And told her just that.

Eventually, she slides down, landing on the ground with a grunt. Charlie follows suit, wobbly and flushed, bumping shoulders when he’s beside her. Natasha kicks a leg over his, idly playing with what he could now consider her shirt, until she pulls it up and holds it at her front. Tilting his head back, Charlie closes his eyes, finds her hand, and squeezes it fiercely. 

For several minutes they sit just so. Until, with a sigh, Natasha rolls her head towards him. “Want breakfast?”

Charlie grins, one that slowly builds, that doesn’t even try to hide what he was going to say next. Opening one eye, he looks at her. “I already ate.”