#which in turn has repercussions not only on them and their relationship (see people starting to hate on amanda when she first started >

[yellowloid]

whats up with the way matt and amanda frame their posts?

let me start by saying that i really appreciate the fact that they stand up for her and defend her against haters; it's sweet that as her friends they show support to her and all that stuff. she gets a lot of unnecessary hate and it's good that they have her back.

however. amanda has a tendency to hyperbole that makes everything she says seem so exaggerated, always calling her by superlatives, an angel, "woman of my dreams", amelia "worshiping" her, "everyone's favourite", both her AND matt calling her his sister??? you end up not being able to take her support that seriously lmao. i get that she's trying to do good because they're friends, and it's nice that she does what she does, but she's so dramatic and passive-aggressive with it sometimes

and then matt... idk wtf happened to him lately because he was always so silent on drama regarding their social circle (he was always kinda lowkey on his socials in general) and then over the past year he's been so adamant on putting her on a pedestal like amanda does. it's not the first time he calls her his sister either, but again if they're close it's nice that he supports her. the only thing that kinda annoys me (and that has absolutely nothing to do with louise) is the "you know i'll get off of here again" shit he pulls every time. i just find it so childish of him because why are you punishing all your fanbase for something only a minority of people does. and why are you holding it over your fans' heads, threatening them to log off at the first chance you get. it's just a poor way of dealing with the problem that does nothing to actually solve it. just show her support without being bitchy with the passive-aggressive threats lmao

[lilover131]

Chapter 70 Analysis

I’ll be frank right now. This analysis was hard to write. It’s hard to write not just because of how absolutely wrong all my theories were (lord, were they wrrrrrrrrrrrrooonnng), but because this chapter made me unexpectedly very emotional. I’m just speechless and cannot believe that CLAMP got me again like this. I just find it absolutely amazing how Ohkawa’s writing can steer you in a direction and make you think you know what is going to happen, and every single time, she turns you on your head. Fucking incredible. I honestly don’t know how she manages to do it. Just…everything clicks now and I see the puzzle in front of me showing its picture, and it’s beautiful and also so so heartbreaking at the same time.

 I’m not going to post a gif or image of the month this time, simply because I don’t feel like there is one that really is suitable.

Also, I apologize in advance for the crappy quality images in red of the screenshots I took. The English chapter has yet to come out in good quality and is currently only available on Youtube, so I had to make do with the red colored pages for now. 

 With that said, I’ll get started on my thoughts.

The color page this month is so stunningly gorgeous and it fits the theme of this chapter so well. It is beautiful and warm but also has a melancholy feeling that can’t be shaken. Sakura has a face that looks as if there is something missing, and by the end of this chapter, we know why.

 Admittedly, when the chapter first started, I was very confused. It seemed to jump straight to Kaito using the EXCHANGE card without time for anyone to stop it, thus making my theory that Syaoran would fight to keep it from happening completely wrong. Lol. But I’m not upset about this. Not seeing a Syaoran sacrifice made me relieved, at least for the moment…(I’m still not ruling that shit out for the future. Haha)

 But I wondered what it meant to see Sakura now as the Red Queen and Akiho as Alice. Did this mean Kaito had switched their lives after all? It certainly seemed to be the way things were going, and I was worried that he had been successful and wondered what the repercussions of this would be. It’s been well described in other CLAMP series (-cough- Tsubasa -cough-) that changing the fate’s design like this ultimately creates huge ripples and damages in the world around it. There is a reason it is considered forbidden magic after all, because of course if one could simply undo things or swap lives with people, why wouldn’t it happen all the time?

 The first thing noticed though in particular was that it wasn’t just Sakura and Akiho that seemed to swap in roles. The very outfits themselves were changed. Some of you might recognize them as the first versions of the outfits that Tomoyo had made and decided to start over on as they did not feel right to her. It seems now that this is because these outfits were originally designed for them to be in swapped roles, so Tomoyo’s intuition here seems to reign supreme again but also makes me wonder for the millionth time how she doesn’t have magic (lol). Another difference seems to be that Syaoran has taken on the role of cat in the originally intended method of just voicing rather than acting on stage. Initially, this also worried me as the reason he had done the role on stage physically was to be by Sakura’s side in case something happened, so by seeing him not do this, it made me curious as to whether his relationship with Sakura was still the same.

Moreover, we must keep in mind that the title of the story had also changed from what was originally written. Before, the story of the play was called “The Two Alices” (which now I realize is super sneaky Ohkawa!) before Naoko made a last minute change and titled the play “Alice in Clockland”. Even the story itself seems to have deviated from what we saw before in the previous chapters. Alice Akiho mentions that her family had a fourth chair at the table always open, but she never understood why. And Red Queen Sakura mentions how she doesn’t remember how she became Queen and only ever remembered being in Clockland. The story soon seems to develop to reveal that the Red Queen is actually Alice’s twin sister who was lost long ago. It seems to also have a happy ending with the Red Queen returning home to her family.

 Back on the rooftop of the school, Kaito and Momo are speaking. She asks him how he feels now that he has gotten what he wanted, which is still unclear to us at this point in the chapter.  He claims to be relieved that Sakura finally created the card he needed before Momo goes on to explain to us readers (bless her) on what has occurred. And boy, is it a doozy.

 The first thing was Sakura’s wish, which was simply to switch roles with Akiho and be the Red Queen instead. That seems fairly harmless in nature, but the second wish was for the artifact inside of Akiho to be exchanged to Kaito for his broken pocket watch. Naturally, taking on the artifact is absolutely huge because it was this very thing that the Squid Clan and the Association wanted to keep to themselves desperately. It was their grasp at power, which was all they cared about in this world. Additionally, Kaito had explained before that this artifact had already absorbed so much magic that if it took on anymore that it would crush Akiho’s soul, so what are the implications of that now in Kaito’s body, which undoubtedly already has a ridiculous amount of magic in it? We know already that he has shown no care for his own well being, so this seems to be more dire a situation than he was in before.

 Akiho now has Kaito’s broken watch, but she still has no magic in her body, so she could not use it even if she wants to, so this will not impact Akiho in any way. She seems to be completely free of the binds that tied her to her awful family who wished only to use her as a tool and did not acknowledge her as a person.

 But Kaito took it one step further…

 The scene changes to the end of the play where the girls are being applauded for their performance. Naoko tells them that she knew they were perfect for the role of Alice and Red Queen. And I’ll tell you right now that when I was initially reading this chapter, it was in French (because the English chapter wasn’t quite out yet), and I had to use Google Translate. Upon translating the next speech bubble, I found myself absolutely fucking speechless and wondering if I had typed something in wrong or if Google messed up the translation.

 Not only did Kaito take the artifact away from Akiho, but he also rewrote the past so that Akiho was born as Sakura’s twin sister. I think I can safely say that a majority of us had thought that Kaito was intending to swap Akiho and Sakura’s lives so that Akiho could have a happy life and Sakura would take on the misery Akiho endured. And I feel terrible now thinking he would actually do something so cruel, seeing as he honestly hasn’t really done anything to deserve that opinion. When you think about it, he never actually harmed anyone at any time, and even the trouble he caused was still much less dangerous than even what Eriol put them through (think about it, Eriol nearly had Syaoran cut Sakura in half when he controlled him with threads!). And additionally, most of the trouble was actually caused by Sakura herself with her out of control magic.

 Was Kaito shady? Absolutely. Was he secretive and somewhat manipulative? Of course. But does that inherently make him a bad person? After this, I just can’t see it. What I’ve always enjoyed about Kaito particularly is that he always keeps you guessing. You never know exactly who’s side he’s actually on, and I’ve rather enjoyed learning more about him because of that. But one thing that always remained unfettered was that he cared about Akiho. In fact, Akiho seemed to be the only thing he ever showed any care towards (other than maybe her mother, but we still don’t know exactly how that story ended, and I’m sure we will learn more soon).

 And now that we know what his intentions were, I cannot help but see the clues written all over the wall absolutely EVERYWHERE. CLAMP has literally been dropping hints for years, and I can’t help but be angry for missing it all! Granted, that was the point, but fuck I can’t help but be impressed by the writing just for that alone. Every single mention of how similar Sakura and Akiho were, the mention of them ‘synchronizing’, even Akiho’s fucking name! I have always had a feeling that Akiho’s name wasn’t always Akiho because it felt odd that she had a Japanese name despite being born to English parents in England, but now I can’t help but think that Kaito had her change her name so she could fit neatly into her new life. And still in my head I cannot forget that one scene in the anime (episode 10) with the SNOOZE card where he came to pick up Akiho, and Sakura and Akiho said something with the same reaction at the same time, and Kaito just laughed. I always wondered why he laughed like that, and now it makes complete sense. He was laughing because he had always intended to make Akiho Sakura’s twin sister, and it was funny to him because the two of them were already acting like twins.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlT4JhTNgVg&ab_channel=AnimeCat

Not to mention the many many scenes of Kaito seemingly investigating all aspects of Sakura’s life, like her father, Touya, the house she lived in, her mother, Syaoran, etc. He did all of this because he wanted to make sure Akiho would have a good life with Sakura’s family, and that she would be surrounded by those that would protect her. And like…I know many of us noticed this and theorized he was doing this because he wanted to swap Akiho with Sakura, but I feel awful that I never considered them being twins as an option and assumed the worst. What he proved here by making them twins was that he wanted to save Akiho, give her a better life, but without taking away from others in the process.

 But there is one major problem with this wish… or rather two.

 Momo looks to Kaito and tells him that even with his magic, he cannot contain the power of the artifact. It is at this very moment that the pages of the book artifact appear beneath his feet, and some of his memories begin to show in the pages. It was when he was younger and had volunteered to go with Akiho on her journey to absorb more magic. Both the Clan and Association did not like this idea and showed distrust towards him, worried that he’d try to use the artifact for himself. But they decided to make a ‘compromise’ (assholes) by stating that he could take Akiho on her journey if he accepted the ‘Seal of D’. This seal is actually a curse that is intended to keep him in check and will activate if he tampers with the artifact in any way.

 Kaito seems to agree to this without hesitation and is warned that he can never break this seal, and if he does anything to ‘the artifact’ (god I wish they would talk about Akiho like the human being she is), he “can never return”. Do those words sound familiar? CUZ’ THEY FUCKIN’ DO TO ME.

 It turns out that the voice we have seen and heard in the manga and anime several times saying “You can never return” was directed at Kaito. The strange disembodied voice in Sakura and Akiho’s dreams was that of one of the Clan/Association members telling Kaito he could never go back if he broke this vow. And this also explains why Kaito had such a grim reaction when Akiho brought up those words before from her dream. It’s because he knew exactly what those words meant, but he still decided to go through with this anyways. From the very beginning, he knew he was going to sacrifice himself, and although we had our theories about this for quite some time, it is absolutely confirmed now.

A magical seal appears over his chest, almost undoubtedly at this point the ‘Seal of D’, and in my initial read, I again was using Google Translate on the French pages before I saw this text, and it fucking broke me.

I started crying almost instantly. To know that he was a boy that grew up caring for nothing, wanting nothing, liking nothing…to say that the very spell that will undo him is the first spell he ever wanted to use. It’s fucking heartbreaking, and for the first time other than when he laughed, I could see a smile on his face that I knew was 100% genuine in every way. He’s not hiding anymore. It is the smile of someone who feels he has just fulfilled his purpose in life and is ready for the end.

 Momo emulates me and most of the fandom by shouting and crying that he’s an idiot before he completely vanishes within the pages of the book. Sakura halts briefly, having felt something, but appears to brush it off, and lord I wish she wouldn’t have. The rooftop is now empty with neither Kaito or Momo, and the chapter ends there (because of course it does).

 -Wipes tears and blows nose-

 Okay, so this chapter messed me up emotionally, but I honestly loved it. It’s so beautiful and devastating at the same time, but I think I finally have an idea of where the story will go from here. Sakura still should have her magic and she has already developed the ability to remember things despite rewinding of time etc. But I think RECORD will also play a part. The card has been extremely useful in showing things that didn’t even happen in the real world, such as her dreams, but it has also been shown in the anime to show records of past events that happened prior to Sakura even being born and never experienced. I also think the watch will play a part. We know now that Akiho has a broken pocket watch and will likely not be able to remember where it came from but have melancholy feelings when looking at it or some sort of heart ache. I think this watch will assist in bringing Akiho and Kaito back together.

 The ‘Seal of D’ also appears to have the same kind of appearance as the dragon from Sakura’s dreams, so I believe that the curse the Association and Clan put on him will have turned him into this dragon, and that he is currently roaming the world of the book. Because Sakura’s dreams showed the dragon in Tomoeda, I think that he will somehow break through the book in this form at some point, but there is still definitely the question about the Cloaked Figure, and it is still debatable who that will end up being. We know that part is still to come as Sakura has yet to wear the ‘sleeve’ she mentioned before that she would have on when she finally meets the Cloaked Figure for real. 

 God, just when you thought the climax was finally here, it seems we haven’t even reached the tip of the iceberg. This is most definitely why CLAMP needed another full volume to finish it, and I’m all for it.

  I am so fascinated to see the next chapter and what this new timeline is like. Does Akiho know about Kero and Suppi etc.? What has gone on exactly in regards to the Clear Cards? And what about Syaoran? Does he still have the Sakura cards? What are the actual ramifications of this massive timeline change? And Lillie? What happened to her if Akiho was never born her child, and how did this affect Nadeshiko?

 SO MANY QUESTIONS!!

 But we’ll get answers here real soon, and I look forward to talking about them all with you! See you next month!

[bringerofdeathandtheapocolypse]

Ok I spiraled in thoughts again.

So I was thinking about the Tenrou arc and how some characters physical injuries didn't make sense for how they were injured (Like Gajeel having more visible injuries than Mira despite her getting blown up) and I got to Makarov Vs Hades and started thinking.

Both Precht and Warrod were Yuri's close friends so it's likely they were both named as uncles or godparents to Makarov and I started looking into it because I remembered that Makarov's mum died only seconds after he was born but I couldn't remember when Yuri died and well. Makarov would have been 3 to 4 depending if Yuri died before or after March.

Meaning that either Makarov was raised by Fairy tail itself or Warrod or Precht stepped in to raise him. The second seems most likely as Warrod shows he has compassion for his friends and I doubt he'd ignore one of his best friend's son who is now without both of his parents and Makarov and Precht show at least enough of a relationship to make me think that they were close when he was younger, similar to how Laxus was originally close with Makarov.

Which would lead into how being faced with the reality that someone you likely saw as a second parent. Someone who likely helped raise you has become the leader of a dark guild after already having to banish your son and then your grandson had to hurt a lot.

I may have my gripes with how Makarov handled Laxus after Ivan was banished because it's at least implied that Makarov did very little but to scold Laxus with little other repercussions for his actions (Which while Laxus is at fault for his own choices, enabling his bad behaviour wouldn't have taught him a lesson and likely only made him angrier if he thought Makarov didn't care which he kinda did since he mentioned how Makarov should just banish him as well after Ivan was banished) but that would have to hurt a lot and I'm surprised at how little it's touched upon.

Like that would be a great moment to focus on some Makarov character and how that might impact him knowing that two of the people he cared for turning down a cruel path and the third almost joining them only to have the sense literally beaten into him by other people.

I want to know more about what happened in the Dreyar family. Because I do not believe Ivan was born bad. Despite every trait in him trying to convince me that he was always going to be evil because he is the odd one out and everything else under the sun. I can't.

I can see Ivan's behaviour stemming from him feeling neglected as a child. Perhaps Makarov had just recently become guild master and was spending more time focusing on that than on Ivan and we never see Makarov's partner so it's plausible that she isn't around to care for him. It would explain why he hates Fairy tail so much. While Jose was taught that by his dad, Ivan despised the guild because he saw it as the thing that took his father's attention from him which could result in his anger which is then translated onto Laxus. Whether Ivan taught Laxus to hate Makarov and Fairy tail or that was just something Laxus picked up on, it's clear that he didn't see Laxus as a person but more a means to an end. He forces a dragon lacrima into him at a young age which could have killed him if he wasn't so lucky (possibly having an inclination to lightning magic) and how he tries to manipulate Laxus into giving him information on Lumen histoire.

Like Makarov thinking back on how he has handled his own family whether due to his focus shifting unintentionally or something else would be such a powerful moment and more insight into Ivan and possibly Laxus as well as Makarov and would show some flaws.

Because I doubt it would be easy to manage an entire guild and care for a child on your own, never mind a guild as destructive as Fairy tail. It's a lot of responsibility and if he just got given the position recently, of course he'd be focused on his job while he adjusts to the situation.

It also gives Ivan some background to his actions instead of just 'another generic evil dad' because despite how much Ivan gets built up in both Battle of Fairy tail and Grand magic games, they barely do anything with him.

I do like his fight in the games but it just doesn't feel like what was built up to.

I personally would have liked to have more focus on Ivan for a whole arc or have him do more in the games. Have him find out Gajeel was a double agent and want revenge. Go after more members of the guild to antagonise Makarov. Try to use Gajeel or Laxus against Fairy tail in more ways than just information. Force Gajeel to deliberately botch an event in the games to prove loyalty to Ivan or have him risk getting hurt. Have his guild members do more than just mildly inconvenience the FT members. Flare did the most intense stuff with threatening a child and trying to burn the RT symbol onto Lucy and Minerva still upstaged her in brutality. Have the other members get brutal with FT. Instead of winning Chariot, have them attack Natsu and Gajeel because their vulnerable and could make for easy prey to piss off Makarov. (Plus possible parallels to when Gajeel was in Phantom and attacked Levy) Have RT target more members during the night to where they feel unsafe. And then finally, after 3 days of this, Laxus finally sees what his father is truly like in their fight and goes off for all the harm Ivan caused. That would be so much fun to watch and tense. RT just feels like a second fiddle to the Dragon king festival and Sabertooth even though they are the main antagonist in the first three days then Sabertooth picks up that mantle when Minerva beats on Lucy.

I know I went off on a rant about Ivan in a post about Makarov but I sometimes can't help but being up other Dreyar family members in posts about each other. Especially when they are so connected to one another.

[drst]

Nate Shelley should DIAF and suffer forever

I remember thinking when S2 of "Ted Lasso" ended that they were definitely going to try to do some sort of redemption arc with Nate as a key part of S3, and also dreading it because I doubted they were going to pull it off successfully. I wanted to be wrong, because I really hated Jaime during S1 and they managed to get him through a good redemption arc and turn him around. But Nate's actions were much more repulsive than even the worst of Jaime's behavior in S1, and I got the feeling the writers weren't going to understand Nate's arc was going to have to account for that.

What I didn't expect was the show to just chuck all of Nate's character development through S2 out, pretend he had a personality transplant, and expect us to just forget. I have no idea why the writing tanked so hard on this but it did.

Nathan Shelley is a sexist and a bully. He always was a bully. The very first thing we see Nate do? He runs across the pitch to scream at Ted and Beard for being on the grass. Nate can't yell at anyone who actually works for the team, but he sees an opportunity to yell at people who aren't part of the team and he leaps at it, almost literally. (Should he be telling unknown people not to be on the grass? Yeah. He doesn't tell, he runs and screams.) It's played for laughs, of course, that the guys he thought he could chastise without repercussions are his new bosses. But we see this pattern with Nate over and over. As soon as he feels like he's in a superior position over anyone, he bullies them.

The whistle he gets at the end of S1 when he gets promoted? Ted has to take it away. I noticed when I was rewatching, Nate keeps blowing the whistle indoors. He's so addicted to having that power, Ted has to take his whistle away and give him one that doesn't work to stop him from doing it inside.

Obviously right off the bat in S2 he starts bullying Will, which just gets progressively worse during the season. He publicly bullies Colin too, and only apologizes because Beard makes him do it. It's a credit to the acting that we can feel how much Nate is seething through the apology and the scene with the jersey afterward, but Nate, the character, is enraged that he's been made to apologize.

Nate's also a sexist asshole. He makes a number of comments about women that are gross as hell during S1. The episode where he's promoted to being a coach, when at first he thinks he's being fired, he turns to Rebecca and calls her a "harpy." The OWNER of the club, he picks a specifically gendered insult to throw at her in his rage. And of course, he assaults Keeley. I know a lot of people don't want to call it an assault, but he knows full well Keeley is not interested in him, that she's in a relationship with Roy, that she's not coming on to him and is in fact going out of her way to do him a personal favor, and he forces her into a kiss anyway. The magnitude of that fuck up was really glossed over on the show and, unfortunately, by quite a few of the fans. Keeley being hot, or physically close to Nate in the scene, or open about sex and her sexuality, doesn't make it okay for a guy who knows 100% she's not interested or available to force sexual contact on her.

There's more evidence of Nate's sexism too. When he gives the speech before the Everton match, he specifically uses gendered insults on Colin and Issac, but not on Sam or Dani. He says Issac has been playing like a "big dumb pussy" and talks about Colin waxing his pubic hair (something associated with women and gay men, ironic given what we later learn about Colin). And again, this is played for laughs at the time. Colin and Issac were bullying Nate pretty badly (which is terrible! Not making excuses for that) at the beginning so we understand why Nate has an extra animus against the two of them. But he doesn't use gendered insults when he has a go at Dani or Sam, or especially Roy.

His speech to Roy actually made me think the show had a better handle on Nate than it turned out to have, because while he insults Roy, he adds the bit about "I'm worried what it's going to do to you if you keep it all to yourself." It made it seem like Nate does care, at least about some of these guys, which is important to being a good coach. But that care doesn't really make another appearance, and by S2 he's decided all the players are idiots and anything that goes wrong is their fault, or Ted's fault for not listening to Nate.

Bullies are always very aware of the heirarchy and where they are in it. They always know who not to piss off and who they can attack freely. Nate is like that from Day 1. And like most bullies, Nate cannot stand to be made fun of, and he cannot ever admit to a mistake. They run with the whole "wunderkind/wonder kid" thing and he repeatedly denies that he misspoke, because his ego can't take it.

What frustrates me is the show seems like they set a lot of this up on purpose. S1 Issac and Colin don't stop bullying Nate until Roy (at Ted's urging) headbutts Colin and orders them to stop. The bullies continue bullying until someone in power steps in and makes them stop. Nate bullies Colin in front of the whole team (Nate's a coach by then), but Beard (higher in the ranks than Nate, who also has the "I haven't told Ted yet" card) orders him to apologize, which he does grudgingly. Then he takes the fury he's feeling out on the person who can't fight back, Will.

The thing is, there is NO WAY ON EARTH Nate's bullying behavior stopped just because he became a head coach. There's no way his ego suddenly became capable of tolerating people saying negative things about him, especially on social media. Put a bully into a position of power over more people, they get worse, not better. I know they retconned this whole "oh Nate's a certified genius!" thing in there, but there is no way Nate, who was obsessively scrolling Twitter in S2, just got over that in S3, when he was running a whole team, which probably lost some matches, when presumably the fans blamed him as the head coach. But we never see that happen. There's no way he had an entire team and staff under him and he treated everyone nicely. This isn't how actual bullies work, especially when they are in an environment where the person in power above them is encouraging the bullying, which is exactly the kind of guy Rupert is.

We see a bit of Nate being a dick to Ted in S3, but no indication that he's struggling with managing the team or the coaches. All of that power-hungry, ego-obsessed behavior just kind of goes poof. It makes no sense. And somehow I'm supposed to not only care but be happy with all the time wasted on this bullying, sexist asshole dating… the woman from S1 who correctly rejected his attempt to pressure her into giving him his number?

And of course, Nate's ultimate sin, betraying Ted's personal medical information to the press, just sits there. Unaddressed. Never adequately dealt with. Trent pays more of a price for what Nate did than Nate himself does. I guess we maybe were supposed to infer that Nate regretted it? But we're never told it in any meaningful way. We're never shown that Nate grasps that what he did crossed a line from personal insult to risking the team's well being, as well as exposing Ted's private information to the public in a way that is wildly unethical and terrible behavior for a SPORTS TEAM COACH who has to manage personal information about other people all the time. They just handwave it as "Ted forgave him so it's okay."

Beard seems to be the only one who grasps the magnitude of it, and then Ted shames him into forgiving Nate near the end - and for no real reason. Nate contributes absolutely nothing to the team's overall status and success by being there at the end. The play Jaime uses, which Nate came up with, was from S1, so Ted would've used it even if Nate hadn't been on the sidelines. Having Nate in the clubhouse again helps nobody, makes zero difference to the team. My assumption is that Apple was already pressing to try for a spin off and they needed to somehow bring Nate back to Richmond.

Nate's dad also has a total personality transplant along the way here too, so it's a larger problem that makes me think they had something else in mind for how Nate's arc in S3 was going to go that had to get rewritten, but it's one of several pieces of S3 that were really badly done. Maybe if S1 hadn't been so well written it wouldn't stand out how uneven S3 was, but here we are.

Anyway, no redemption for Nate Shelley, sexist bullying asshole. May he die violently in a fire and burn forever.

[princeescaluswords]

I’m unsure how to say this but a lot (not always or even a majority) of the time when I see people complain about people liking black/white morality in characters it’s tied to them being upset that people aren’t whitewashing the actions of villains. There’s an intense need for others in the audience to treat the actions of the antagonist as understandable and redeemable no matter how unrepentant the character is about horrific actions. It seems more often they want to simplify the nuances down to the point that the character isn’t help responsible at all.

I am in complete agreement that too often people who employ "black-and-white morality" as a criticism against a fictional character are simply trying to recast a villain's actions as somehow justified. I find there are very few black-and-white protagonists portrayed in media anymore, especially since the turn of the millennium, United States audiences simply don't have the taste for them.

The greatest irony to me is that the parts of the fandom who rail against a heroic protagonist's "black-and-white thinking" eventually become guilty of it themselves. They choose to scorn evaluating individuals and actions through the lens of a rigid and unbending moral system only to replace it with evaluating individuals and actions through the lends of a rigid and unbending emotional partisanship. In other words, every engagement they have with a character to whom they have an emotional or physical attraction must, in the end, be positive. To use the common parlance, their "poor little meow-meow" must be defended against any negative evaluation, even if blood drips from their hands. In the world of politics, this is called partisanship or a cult of personality, and it can be quite dangerous; in the world of fandom, it can lead to similar, if far less serious, behavior.

Before I give an illustrative example, I want to remind people of the difference between protagonist, antagonist, hero and villain. The protagonist is the primary actor in the story; their decisions are the focus and they are changed by the plot. Antagonists are obstacles in that story with which they must grapple. There is not necessarily a moral component to the relationship between protagonist and antagonist. When there is a moral component to that relationship, they are called a hero and a villain.

My personal fandom, Teen Wolf, has a heroic protagonist in Scott McCall. In a stroke of misfortune that has had repercussions for years, the villain of Seasons 1 and 4, Peter Hale, once criticized Scott for "black-and-white thinking" and the villain-stans ran with it, even though this idea literally can not hold up to any close inspection. Here's the quote that started it from the episode Fireflies (3x03):

Peter: Oh, come on. How much damage can they do? So they off a few homeless people, a drunk stumbling out of a bar too late. So what? Let Scott deal with it. Let him be the hero of his morally black and white world. The real survivors, you and I, we live in shades of gray. Then again, even if you did kill them, you're still an Alpha. You can always make more werewolves.

I can guarantee you that no one in the production wanted the audience to think that this was a legitimate criticism. Peter was arguing that Derek, his nephew, allow his sister and one of the teenagers for which he is responsible to run moon-mad and kill innocents rather than risk injury to them or him, because this was all part of Deucalion's (one of the villains of Season 3) plans.

Peter's position isn't shades of gray. There's no moral trade-off happening here. It's selfishness. Letting Cora and Boyd murder innocents isn't going to stop Deucalion's plans. It's going to undermine Derek by driving a wedge between the alpha and his other remaining family member, one of his two remaining betas, and with Scott, who is -- and parts of the fandom are extraordinarily content to forget this -- Derek's consistent and reliable ally throughout the season. If Derek accepts this advice, it will increase Peter's influence by convincing the alpha that he is more like Peter; that they're the same. They're not.

But, in the unending labor of villain defense, the true context of this scene is purposefully discarded in order to paint Scott as the true danger because of a "black and white world" he doesn't actually live in. Scott's refusal to kill victims or allow innocent people to be killed is oversimplified to a No-Killing Rule he never had. His suspicions about Peter and Derek -- vastly overstated by parts of the fandom -- are transformed from not unreasonable cautions about people who tried to murder him and his friends and lied to him repeatedly about it but into moral rigidity that causes him to judge others unfairly. One BNF has argued that Scott sorts people into Villain and Victim as a function of his black-and-white morality and can't comprehend that people can be both, even as Scott canonically argues that there is hope for Peter, comes to Peter's and Derek's aid, and speaks not one word of criticism to the sheriff.

The whole enterprise is illegitimate because there are plenty of scenes where Scott acknowledges that his attempts to save innocents might end up in other people dying. In Party Guessed (2x09), Visionary (3x08), Lunar Ellipse (3x12), and The Beast of Beacon Hills (5x19), Scott acknowledges that they might have to kill. The key of course is the word reluctant; the truth is that Scott's morality isn't so inflexible that he can't conceive of killing, but it is strong enough that he's never going to make it his first choice. Yet he doesn't cast Peter or Derek into the outer dark for their eagerness to kill. He works with both of them, especially Derek. Several times he does go to Peter for help and advice. He's so non-judgmental of Peter the serial killer that Stiles, his best friend, scolds him twice about it. And when that very same Stiles accidentally kills someone in self-defense and in a panic hides the fact, Scott is shaken, but he doesn't end his friendship with Stiles or even make a moral judgement -- he doesn't throw Stiles out of the pack or call him a monster, no matter what deranged anti anons might think -- a disappointed Scott tells Stiles to go talk to his Dad, the sheriff, which I think is an appropriate response when your friend accidentally kills someone.

But that's where the true black-and-white thinking comes in for the fandom. Scott believes that killing, however necessary or unplanned, is a bad thing, though he clearly doesn't believe that the person who kills is unsalvageable or even unworthy of his love or affection. But parts of the fandom do not share this ability with Scott. In a strange twist, in order to 'stan' a character, they must treat the character as justified no matter what they choose to do, so a villain's crimes -- in Peter's case manipulation, treachery, and serial murder -- must be justified, and any who oppose it in the slightest must be wrong at their core. No matter how much they protest otherwise, they can't acknowledge that the heroic protagonist should be able to react to what a villain does. Thus the very act of a heroic protagonist rejecting the crimes that anyone in their right mind would reject becomes the actual crime.

So suddenly, the heroic protagonist becomes their enemy. If the heroic protagonist has made mistakes as well, they're a hypocrite for even suggesting that the villain's crimes are actual crimes. Stans of a villain draw a bright line around their favorite. Anything within that line is justified, and anything outside of that line is hypocrisy or moral vacuity. This is a black-and-white dichotomy.

[julie-su]

why do you only trained professionals to discuss your trauma? /gen curious

Eh? Oh, that. I'm o.k with discussing the basics with anybody who wants/needs to know - I sometimes feel like I need to remind people to treat me gently. I try to lead a gentle life in of myself so that I don't end up in places where people are angry, or condescending. But sometimes, I feel the need to gently say "hey, I don't know if I'll ever truly get better from this, I need you to go easy on me. It's a long old lifetime. Here's some things you need to know about my past."

But the intricacies? The intricacies?! That's only for trained professionals. Why is that only for trained professionals? A few reasons... First of all, a therapist legally has to keep it confidential. A therapist cannot hold my trauma against me. I do not have the trust in my heart to hand a loaded gun to somebody else; "Here's a how-to guide on exactly how to manipulate me into doing whatever you want! Tried and tested!" fat chance. I have the power over a therapist to sue them to hell and back if they broke contract and tried to use that against me. There's that my friends and aquaintances are not equipped to discuss it. My friends are not trained professionals, and even if they were, it is not a position which you should grant to anybody you already know; the relationship between a therapist and their pupil is a very serious burden to bear; to carry on from my previous point - you grant your therapist a lot of power over you, and you, in turn, have a lot of power over your therapist. Those lines get blurred, when the power is not held by Random James who you can just stop seeing; now it's held by Friendgroup Sally, and there is an attatched emotional baggage. "You're not going to sue me, are you? We're such good friends..."

I also just, don't ... Want people to know more than is neccesary. It's a good three to four years of my life that I'd rather forget - that I DID forget most of due to a form of amnesia. Half of it only exists to me in flashes in the back of my mind.

These 'free therapy' schemes are fucking terrifying. What's the legal repercussion if one of them goes rogue? What protections do I have? I know that I suffer from delusions around this sort of thing, but this, I feel, is a very valid concern. Better to go without, than to expose your raw, beating heart to a random start-up, is what I say.

[goddslayerr]

Questions for Problematic/Villain muses (sending u some too!) 3. What's an inherently problematic view your character holds 7. Do you ever think that despite your muses actions/morality they do have a point when it comes to their reasons? 10. Is a healthy relationship (platonic or otherwise) possible with your muse? 14. Is your muses morality compliance or does it follow a strict set of rules?

3. What's an inherently problematic view your character holds

"if it doesn't concern me, then i have no business getting involved." this is something that i've thought about a lot - ashton is selfish. very selfish. it's one of their worst traits, and i can see this line of thinking being inherently problematic because ashton has turned their back on so many horrible things.

a contractor wants me to kill this person? fine, it's not like i knew them anyways. they have a family? not my problem. despite the fact that they advocate for a much less government-controlled world, it's mostly done out of self interest rather than something they do for the greater good. they are only seeking revenge, and they are willing to rip apart potential allies if they start getting in the way of their own goal.

7. Do you ever think that despite your muses actions/morality they do have a point when it comes to their reasons?

honestly when it comes down to it, the only reasonable thing that i can think of is ashton wanting full eradication of the world nobles. nobody should hold enough power where they can freely enslave people without any kind of repercussions. given their own history with being enslaved and being forced to endure the cruelness of celestial dragons, their views are understandable at the very least.

10. Is a healthy relationship (platonic or otherwise) possible with your muse?

platonically? absolutely! when it comes to friends, ashton is nothing but supportive. they know when to draw a line and being their friend is probably one of the safest routes to go with them in terms of relationships.

when it comes to romantic or otherwise intimate relationships, that's where things get a bit... tricky.

i'm sure if it came to the right person, there's a chance that they could have a healthy relationship, but ashton has a very bad habit of borderline worshiping their lover like a personal god. any morals for them go out the window when it comes to romantic relations. oh, someone talked badly about x? i'll just kill them then. or alternatively: if x wants me to do y, i see no issues with it, no matter how immoral it might be.

it's deeply, deeply unhealthy and is probably a big reason why i don't find myself actively seeking out romantic ships. i'm not against them! but ashton has such a twisted view of intimacy that i can't imagine them being remotely healthy unless a healthy dynamic is specifically discussed with me.

14. Is your muses morality compliance or does it follow a strict set of rules?

ashton has their own set of rules when it comes to morality. i've mentioned this a few times before, but their captain (karter) regularly kidnaps and eats people, which are both pretty immoral things to do. they definitely don't like that he does these things, but these people are strangers to them, so karter can do whatever the hell he wants to them just so long as he keeps them out of it.

they do not care what other people think of them, because, hey, they're already wanted dead. nothing's gonna change that outcome, so why even bother trying to conform to social rules and laws that the government created?

[dark-side-blog3]

What do you think about Boston Lobster? Is he dangerous and cruel towards his victim? Is it hard to survive with him in this relationship?

I've written for him before, but I'd like to take a crack at writing him again! Back when I wrote for him the first time, the SP Boston Lobster didn't exist! I've decided to meld the two together as if they were a singular entity for the purposes of this list. They sort of are-- SP Boston Lobster is just Boston Lobster expanded upon and evolved. I've condensed them anyways.

Warning for canon spoilers, and reader death!

++++++++

Boston Lobster sees no place for humans in this world. And that includes taking them prisoner. Sad to say that Boston Lobster will kill you if you are his master attendant. The only saving grace is that if you're his master attendant then he can't kill you as quickly as he would if you were just any other human, as you'll likely have other food souls ready to protect you, and a slight bit of control over Boston Lobster. It's this power disadvantage that makes him infuriated with you; You humans think you're entitled to claim ownership over other sentient beings, putting yourself at the top of the food chain and degrading those you put beneath you! Boston Lobster would tear your spine out of your body with his teeth if you weren't protected by contracts!

Or at least... So he claims.

Boston Lobster does intend to eventually kill you, as he does with all humans, and dismantle the oppressive system that Food Souls have suffered under for hundreds of years-- the only way of which he can see is by killing those at the top and creating a new normal...

But he's also... Curious. Boston Lobster had heard from Peking Duck that there would eventually be a human that could change his mind, shining like a ray of sunlight in the darkness of humanity. And through a series of coincidences and stalking of Peking Duck, he saw you. And it was an almost instant feeling that you could be the ray of light his rival mentioned so long ago.

Possessive, and sadistic. But his sadism has limits-- at least where you're concerned. Boston Lobster makes threats day and night about all the terrible, graphic things he will do to you when he finally figures out a way around these infernal contracts.

Something he won't tell you is that he could kill you even with the "contracts" in place.

He may have conveniently been summoned by you a few days after observing you, but he was one of the first food souls ever created, and he was defective: Boston Lobster could overpower and kill the humans meant to control him. And he did. Boston Lobster doesn't have the same restrictions other food souls have. He could straight up kill you, and he wouldn't suffer any repercussions for it. Repercussions besides no longer having you, that is.

But you're interesting to watch. You're not as megalomaniacal as every other human; Despite owning many powerful combat-focused food souls, you only seem to care about your restaurant and the chef's guild you're a part of. Even exploring new areas in new countries, fighting monsters, all you do is look for new ingredients to use. You could have pillaged every city you came across, easily sicced your food souls and the fallen angels you've somehow tamed into destroying entire kingdoms. But the thought hasn't seemed to even occur to you. You just want to cook, serve people food, and even serve some of your food souls... You're weird. And Boston Lobster feels a twinge of hope watching you.

But being discovered harbouring affection for a thing like you would ruin everything he's worked towards all these centuries. So, when Boston Lobster finds himself actually liking you, he needs to turn it around-- make the story fit his narrative as the badass revolutionary against human lives!

So he starts bullying you. It does make him happy to see you get frustrated at his antics, or even occasionally scared.

He cusses you out, and tries to rush at you but remains slow enough other food souls have to pin him to the ground (a couple of times they haven't grabbed him and Boston, needing to cover his affection for you, socked you in the jaw), mixes pebbles into your rice supply and handfuls of sand into the flour... Anything that makes it clear to everyone he definitely doesn't like you, even a little bit!

And because he hates you, no one should ever think twice when Boston Lobster comes home from a day of fighting fallen angels and deliveries, and drops a bag of snacks on the table of your room, waiting for you to thank him for generously picking some snacks for you. Or when he tells you to be happy. Or when he goes out of his way to make you happy, taking you out to places to eat, watch fireworks, stargaze... Don't get the wrong idea and think he likes you, idiot. He just wants to prove a point. But if anyone says that he likes you, tell him, okay?! Or if anyone else makes you unhappy-- He'll take care of it! He's the only one allowed to pick on you. Those dumbasses might take it too far, after all... You should only be a bit tormented. He's got a knack for the balance of that, you know. So he should be the only one you let bully you! In fact, Boston Lobster will just hang around to make it clear no one's allowed to mess with what he owns.

This hot and cold nature isn't as innocently "school-bully-crushing-on-victim" as it may seem, however. Boston Lobster is aware that his urges go... Deeper than that trope humans love. It isn't simply about picking on you to hide that he loves you.

Boston Lobster fantasizes about killing you.

He does intend to, fully. But he wants to wait a little bit. He wants to kill every other human first, to liberate the Food Souls and establish a new world order. He wants you to see everything he does for his people, how he turned the world on its head just so everyone can be free. He wants you to see what he's done... Maybe he wants you to be proud of him? Maybe he just doesn't want to put his toy down until he can't procrastinate on it any longer.

He thinks of how he'll wake you up that final morning, watching from the top of a tower or hillside at the crumbled human cities post-war getting rebuilt by the Food Souls that will live there soon. Telling you about how the last human died, probably scared shitless and begging for mercy, before Boston Lobster crushed their skull between his claws. Giving you one last meal, letting you say whatever final words you like, before he grabs your head with both hands, holding your shoulders still with his claws, before snapping your neck. It isn't a quick way to go, and it isn't a painless way to go, as it takes a few minutes of your brainstem disconnected from your heart and lungs to make you finally die. But it is a relatively peaceful way to go-- Boston Lobster doesn't have to hear your laboured breathing or pained cries. You two can just sit next to each other on that hillside, as the sun slowly rises, and the Food Souls begin the first day of a completely human-free existence. And everything will be peaceful, finally.

Boston Lobster thinks about the day he will finally kill you every time he steals a kiss from you, shields you from the gaze of others, and whenever he catches you stealing a glance at him as he strips out of his overheating clothes. It's a fantasy Boston Lobster most closely associates with the tingling excitement and love you fill him with.

Every day is another day closer to fulfilling that fantasy. But until then... He could settle for suckling some bruises into your neck, perhaps even calling you something other than a moron while you two set up for the day.

[joysmercer]

the rosa essay seems super interesting if you'd ever like to post it!

ok i dug it up again just for you, anon !! turns out it's less of an essay and more of a post-7x04 thoughts/rant post but tbh i still stand by it 🤷‍♀️ under the cut ->

Rosa and Jocelyn Breakup / Post-7x04 Thoughts

I hated it.

The show has a pattern of frequently showing their LGBT couples (Kevin/Holt and Rosa/Jocelyn) in the middle of a conflict, including (multiple) occasions where there is an imminent threat of divorce/breakup, while the straight couples rarely fight, if at all. Like Rosa/Jocelyn, Terry/Sharon and Charles/Genevive aren’t central to the show at all; yet, unlike them, Rosa and Jocelyn only got about 1 minute of “happy” moments on-screen over the course of 2 episodes (which is minuscule compared to what we got when Rosa was with Pimento, and even when she was with Marcus). The show is coming closer to its end, and I had hoped that we would get to see Rosa fall in love and get married—or, at the very least, be in a stable relationship—by the time it did. However, this new development makes that harder to expect, especially considering that Stephanie Beatriz said in an interview that we shouldn’t be “expecting many more tidbits about Rosa’s personal life” this season (x). 

This also ties into a bigger pet peeve of mine about the direction of Rosa’s character progression over time. She showed so much potential for professional growth early-on, but they just dropped it to the point where we don’t even know what her aspirations are anymore. She started off Season 1 getting an offer of captaincy, which is an unrealistic jump but does show that she has the capability to hold these positions—and if the posting wasn't in the middle-of-nowhere, she may have even taken it. In season 2, she’s selected to lead a drug task-force over everyone else in the squad specifically due to her leadership skills.

And then, suddenly, nothing more. Amy’s preparing for the sergeant’s exam, and the only thing Rosa’s shown chasing after is a position with Hawkins. It’s for a good reason, by the way, but she could have easily added something like “working with her will help me when I apply to become ____” or something to that effect, but she didn’t. After prison, nearly all of her plots involved Game Night or the repercussions of that. I understand and appreciate her coming-out storyline (there are no complaints there), but I wish they developed her story more in other aspects as well.

And they certainly could have. She wasn’t in the A-plot of ANY of the non-format-breaking episodes last season, while every other character had at least 2 episodes (even Hitchcock and Scully, who are never in the A-plot, had 1). I can’t help but get the feeling that they’re neglecting her character growth after the whole coming-out thing mostly resolved in 6x06.

So when Rosa said she and Jocelyn broke up, I was pretty upset. It was the ONE bit of development we got last season (aside from the whole “dating-two-people-at-once” debacle, which was pretty problematic), and they’re getting rid of that, too. I’m genuinely afraid that her role this season is just going to be reduced to her being Amy’s confidante through this whole Trying business, and it just makes me sad.

[twoloaksinatrenchcoat]

I keep seeing absolutely horrible takes about some of the gems being irredeemable and it just confuses me so bad.

People are calling rose, pearl, amethyst, and BD irredeemable and like the reasoning is so stupid

The one that bothers me the most is Amethyst and Pearl bc 1 what has Amethyst ever done that makes her bad? 2 everything pearl has ever done was bc no one ever really told her it was wrong and she been doing it for thousands of years. 3 HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF YOU WERE MADE SOLELY FOR THE PURPOSE OF KEEING SOMEONE HAPPY, HAD A HOMOEROTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS AND THEN FUCKING DISAPPEARED TO TURN INTO SOMETHING YOU DONT UNDERSTAND.

Really pearl had no fucking idea what Steven was all that she knew was that the love of her life had turned into him. Also the few times that she did do fucked up shit for no reason she apologized and changed.

Again on te amethyst thing is like she was a little annoying in the show but how does that make her bad?

Now Rose and BD are much more complicated bc they did some super fucked shit. But they both tried to make up for it to the best of their ability.

Do I think rose was shitty for treating pearl like an accessory, faking her own death, and all of the other things she did. Yes! But she literally started a revolution to make up for her damage done to the earth. She fought against people she loved to save earth from them at least and at most topple their dictatorship.

As for BD she was a tyrannical leader but you have to understand that she was made for that. From the moment she formed that was all she knew and all that was told to her. Anything different from that was prosecuted by WD and YD (on some occasions). The absolute worse that she’s done (that was confirmed in the show/movie) was conquer worlds. Which all of the other diamonds did and again was ALL SHE KNEW!

Also people coming for her for using her powers on people is soooo confusing to me bc she probably had the most tame powers out of all of the diamonds. She fR just made people sad and, like all of the other diamonds, she tried to make up for it in SU future. Also towards the end of the series BD literally came forward about not liking the empire but being afraid of repercussions. Which is most likely why she punished PD like that bc she didn’t want her to get the repercussions that she was so afraid of.

The only characters that are truly unredeemable are yellow and white. Due to yellows experiments and White’s tyrannical dictatorship and what she’s done to the other diamonds and other gems.

[alokkashyap123]

How to manage stress as an Entrepreneur

Alok Kashyap | Hi! Let me self introduce, I am Alok Kashyap a tech professional with a vivid career as a program manager in The United States. Those who are close to me often say ”Automobile, tech, and passion for entrepreneurship are the three things that drive Alok Kashyap!”

Many of my colleagues and friends ask me “Is entrepreneurship stressful”?

Well, I wouldn't lie. Yes, it is. It is quite stressful.

I see many people at the top of the success ladder who deal with stress daily. Tracing their movements like a shadow, it lurks in wait to strike. Stress can become overwhelming and have repercussions if it is not properly controlled.

Recently, I attended a seminar, that had a group of professionals talking about the daily level of stress a person has to go through in his life whether they are a working professional or a businessman, or an entrepreneur. There, I gathered many points which has stayed with me, one of them is, that stress has a psychological impact that impairs even the most prosperous person's ability to function effectively. 

Here are some stress-reduction strategies that I have followed for a time to stay stress-free and perform at my best. I hope this works for you too.

Grateful - Appreciating what I have.

Always keeping in mind the positive aspects of the situation might help us cope with disappointment and stop worrying about the little things. Failure or misfortune does not take away from your successes or diminish the good things that did occur. The most effective defense against stress is a happy, healthy mindset. Maintain perspective, reflect on your progress, acknowledge your successes, and press on.

Remain concentrated on the greater things.

Keep in mind that perfection is not necessary. Examine things from a wider angle: Is progressing or paying attention to every last detail more crucial? Is the how less important than the why? You and your team don't have time for perfectionism when you're establishing an empire, as it's a draining process that eventually leads to burnout. Life is full of failures since no one is flawless. The most crucial lesson is to remember what counts in the long term and to learn from your failures.

The whole is greater than the sum of the parts.

A strong team is your strenght. Reward achievement and hard effort with relationships; also, remember to move aside and let top achievers carry out their duties. Not only do you lack the time to try to control every minute aspect, but you also cannot control every single element. Your company will suffer if, after reading this, you believe that you DO have the time to oversee every small detail. You are not performing your duties. Trust is really important. You have to have faith in this individual if you hire them. Leave this individual alone to complete their work unless they are blatantly underperforming.

Attending to your own needs.

It is impossible to expect to be mentally good if you are not physically fit. Let's start with the fundamentals: Eat, sleep, and get moving. In particular, exercise aids in stress reduction. Create a workout regimen so that you can release all of your stored-up energy. Your mind can be opened and calmed by yoga or meditation, but ultimately, do what feels right for you. Sure, yoga is in, but if you'd rather run, box, or lift weights, then, by all means, do so. Engage in activities you enjoy and that relieve tension. 

Get away from the mundane.

Take some time to escape and enjoy a vacation. A shift in environment can help you see things from a fresh and new angle. Closing off the distractions of daily life will provide you with much-needed rest, as well as the chance to review your business objectives. Whether you decide to travel to meet new people and have new experiences, or to turn off your phone and spend three days alone at home, the act of disconnecting will help you reconnect with yourself.

Continue to have a support system.

Maintain relationships with people outside of your workplace. Don't keep your tension to yourself; share your life with others. See a therapist one-on-one or attend a support group if needed. Having a sacred space where you may confidentially discuss your ambitions, objectives, and worries is acceptable. Establish enduring, trustworthy relationships with people you feel comfortable confiding in. Remember to repay the favor by listening to their concerns as well. Writing down your emotions might also be beneficial. Eliminate the bad thoughts from your mind to avoid becoming stuck inside of it and being unable to escape.

Make a plan.

Make a plan and stick to it, whether it's for your business or a way to decompress. Share your business idea with others so they can support you. Collaborate to achieve a common objective. Make time for self-care in your schedule if you are concerned that you won't have enough. Making plans will help you stay on course. You'll be fully aware of your whereabouts and your destination. Concerned that you could forget something? Put it in writing. Maintain organization to reduce stress.

Stress management is crucial for entrepreneurs. You have to stop running because you will ultimately become exhausted. You are under a great deal of pressure, from both yourself and everyone around you. Although it could seem overwhelming, it doesn't have to be. An important distinction between less successful and successful entrepreneurs is how well they handle stress. Which would you rather be in charge of—stress or yourself?

[space-blue]

Hello, I happened to come across today the post you made about Jinx and Silco's relationship and you mentioned that you dislike Cait. It's not a really common opinion in the fandom, and because I more than dislike her a little I would love for you to elaborate on it.

Thanks for the ask, Anon. I'll try to elaborate without painting too big a target on my back for Cait lovers, who, as I understand it, are a majority in the Arcane fandom.

This answer is 2.8k words, so have fun, and I'm hiding the rest because nobody needs that much on their dash.

First off I'd like to stress I don't hate Cait as a character, and that I'm capable of making the difference between what I'd like to see and what the show runners wanted us to see. A lot of my distaste for her lies in that in-between space. None of this applies to fanfic Cait, as of course people can take her any direction they want.

Cait, as a concept, is an interesting character. There are ways for her to develop in season 2 that can make her more loveable for me... But I admit I'm sort of pre-disposed to dislike her.

I think there are some ways the script could have been doctored to make her inherently more likeable, and for her to not ruin Vi's character so much. That's right, I'm showing my soft belly for Caitvi lovers to bite into: I actually don't like Caitvi as a season 1 ship, and think Cait contributes to making Vi's act II-III character worse.

Ok, let's take it slowly.

Cait is the top 0.01% of the uber rich in universe, in a show asking us to sympathise with the people who are being controlled, exploited and killed by that ruling class. (And polluted!)

Cait is a cop. Cait went out of her way to become a cop, it's clearly not what Cassandra wanted for her. I'm rather on the ACAB side of the fence, so again she doesn't quite recommend herself.

She is shown to be more of an investigator at the start, so I was actually curious at first. Would she be some sort of Sherlock type? But no. Turns out Cait is the entitled kind of vigilante.

So, like, of course the show frames this as good. It's good that Cait goes to investigate, because Marcus is corrupt. The truth would never air, and she'd never figure out who is behind the bombings if it weren't for her private investigation. Private detectives who go rogue are typically the heroes of their stories, and we usually root for them.

But the issues pile up with Cait: She refuses to take her firing as having any meaning. She keeps wearing her uniform after she knows she isn't on the force, and forges documents (and Jayce's seal) to get what she wants.

Although she acts "for good", that's not her actual stated motivations. Cait's only stated motivations are to catch the perp. Funnily enough, she's a lot like Jinx. She wants to prove herself. She thinks she's right, she's close to wrapping her case and she doesn't trust her colleagues to do it, so she goes and usurps power and impersonates an officer to do it herself.

My issue here is she does all that NOT KNOWING Marcus is corrupt. This would be a totally different vibe if she knew he was a pawn for a powerful undercity "industrialist".

There is also the aspect that she studies Zaun and its criminal underground extensively... And yet never went?

I've been told "her parents must not allow her!"

And I reply: So what? The moment she has a good reason to go, she just straight up goes, and suffers zero repercussions for doing so! She never voices any complaints or anything about the Undercity being off limits to her.

She doesn't know about the suffering in Zaun. She says she had no idea it was this bad... How sheltered can you get, that you study a place and its rampant crime, fill up a map, get called "obsessed" over it, but you somehow never had the motivation or curiosity to go there?

This ties into another aspect of Cait which I dislike, which is again completely involuntary and an artefact of the show's strict timetable.

She doesn't share anything about herself. Not even to Vi. We virtually know nothing about her except that she likes to shoot guns and looks up to chief-ACAB Grayson (my beloved). Even on the bed scene with Vi, it's only ever Vi opening up and sharing. And you may say, "yeah but we only see a glimpse, I'm sure Cait shared stuff too". And yes, sure... But Vi is making a comment about the place when they break in... That reveals she has NO idea it's Cait's home!

That's one of the thing I'd suggest editing out to give the impression that Cait has explained things and that Vi doesn't learn she's a Councillor's daughter until after breaking her into her own home.

Cait learns about Vi's past, again and again, and shares nothing about herself. Even when faced with the Firelights, she "knows a friend on the Council" but fails to mention her mom is there too. In front of Ekko, I get, but... What does Vi know about Cait? Canonically???

Back on track.

Cait being surprised that a city riddled with violent crime is actually a miserable place to live in left me feeling like she needs to see the misery to feel it, and somehow failed to extrapolate and empathise from all her "obsessive" research.

There's lots and lots of good reasons for her to not have gone there yet... But it's half her city and again, she's a cop!! I've once been told "Maybe her parents don't allow for her to be sent to Zaun" and I'm like, all right, so her colleagues were totally right for making fun of her, she's an over-privileged and sheltered kid.

And HEY, that's a fine character trait. My issue with it is that it doesn't come across as intentional. It comes across as the writers showing their hand through her. Cait needs to show shock at the poor Zaunites... A real world Cait would probably not be shocked, because she could hardly discover such stuff at her age and station. The show also doesn't expect us to criticise Cait for being the way she is. Show Cait is "naive" and at the start of her character arc, but I really didn't get the feeling she was meant to be seen the way I perceive her. She's very much "uwu good girl protagonist, also she's hot and smart, please don't think about her actions too hard haha".

On to the meeting with Vi.

I feel like there Cait shows us that she also doesn't have a very strong sense of Justice or Fairness. Again, that might be intentional, but I doubt it. She knows that Vi is in the worst prison around because "No reason actually, there wasn't even a trial".

This is as unfair as it gets. She asks, Vi gives her a flippant answer, and bam, Cait doesn't show enough interest to get to the bottom of this. Vi wouldn't help, so fine, Cait just leaves.

She won't free Vi out of her good heart, but only once her fear makes her act, when Vi threatens that the Undercity will eat her alive.

My fix, to start Caitvi on a better footing, would be this:

Vi is flippant and refuses to answer. Cait shrugs and leaves, and when Vi says the undercity will eat her alive, she leaves ANYWAY. Cut to Vi hearing the Warden come and tensing... And she's actually being released. She walks out of the prison, and down to the dock, perplexed. Cait is waiting there next to the boatman she hired. She waves Vi over and says she may as well share the ride.

Vi is surly and silent for a while, before asking Cait why she had her released. Cait would shrug, say it was the fair thing to do, considering she was never even tried.

THEN Vi would accept to guide her in Zaun, knowing that it might lead her to her sister. Mutually beneficial thing, but on a better footing. This would establish that Cait has a moral compass, and give a basis for Vi to trust that maybe this enforcer is not entirely rotten.

Because in the show, so far, we only know that Cait is a cop because SHE LIKES SHOOTING GUNS and the one woman who could out-shoot her showed her the way. It's never established that Cait has some great inner sense of Justice, or a drive to save the people or anything. Grayson, in that one speech about why she needs to know how to shoot, inherits a greater sense of her dedication to peace and being a Good Cop TM than Cait ever gets. Cait is show to want to solve mysteries, and does the right thing in the fire... but so do all the asshole cops, rushing into a burning tent to rescue a little girl.

Cait becomes a vigilante to prove she "can do it". She's not a Good Cop TM.

Right, on to caitvi specific grief.

For me, I see absolutely zero reasons for Vi to be anything but hyper-wary of Cait. She's an enforcer, literally the type of person she has all the reasons in the world to hate most, and we're shown and told all of those reasons. She's spent her entire late teens being beaten in prison thanks to an enforcer. She's seen enforcers shoot people point blank. She considers her mother killed by enforcers.

Do you think anyone IRL would have this level of hate for authority/oppression tools such as enforcers, come out of a multi years stint in the worst prison possible, and fall in love with one such enforcer overnight?

"But Cait is hot and Vi is horny, and Cait is a good cop and—"

And canonically it's never shown that Cait is good actually, just that she abuses her power, is entitled, and has terminal main character syndrome (meaning she does all that while it being cast as a "good thing" by the show. We're meant to consider this all Good-and-Fun).

And I'm sorry, but I can't. Cait finds Vi in prison, being chronically abused, and that budding relationship starts within hours of her freeing her. I can't associate that with "healthy".

I don't think it's Good or Fun that Vi immediately starts having feelings for an enforcer (and the 1% to top it off), no matter who that enforcer is, or how cute they are, and that this enforcer would allow it/go for it without having the wherewithal to see how potentially unhealthy this is, and that this person (Vi) needs time to find themselves outside of prison first.

I just don't buy their relationship on that spectrum. Begrudging, hard earned respect, I can get into. But the show doesn't give us time or opportunity to get there.

I think the show chickens out of taking the time to make Vi scary and broken. To make her hate and distrust Caitlyn, who is the pretty face of oppression, who didn't even think to release her on her own after finding she was wrongfully imprisoned, and instead needed to be threatened.

They unrealistically sped up their relationship, most likely because they wanted to give the fandom an (implied, F/F) relationship to keep everyone buzzing until season 2.

Anyway, a better caitvi dynamic, imo, is a dark Vi who hates and distrusts Cait, and a naive, entitled Cait but with a strong sense of justice, who earns Vi's respect by not falling into the typical cop or one-percenter grooves, or trying her best when called out on it.

Leaving Vi's warming up to Cait for season 2, and for them to actual common grounds besides "you're hot" and "we spent 48h together" would have been ideal.

Cait going on to not become Sheriff (maybe more of a PI?) and Vi not becoming an enforcer, would also be ideal, but I guess I'm demanding too much. Especially when it comes to Vi, who was all over the place in that last act.

Poor Anon, you'd also be shocked to know how much I dislike act II-III Vi, considering how much I write her myself. But Vi is an interesting character who gets shafted by the narrative and its time constraints, and is a pleasure to write in fix-its, while Cait is a 1% cop gone vigilante as the core of her narrative, so, yeah...

The firelights come in as a final point of dislike... They muddy the waters in the show, casting Silco as a moral-free villain while offering no solution for the whole of Zaun in their rebellion against him and Piltover both. They also give Cait a safe soundboard to tell a Zaunite to please "not do violence because violence is not the solution uwu". Try saying that to Silco's face lol

I just... really disliked that from the show, not only from Cait, because it felt like this was the middle ground message I was meant to accept. Both Silco and Piltover get vilified, and the Firelights and Cait are these half baked middle grounds of true goodies, who offer nothing tangible.

At the very least she has no ground to stand on to tell Ekko, or any Zaunite, that violence isn't the solution. The show went out of its way to establish that piltover and the Council will stop at nothing to keep Zaunites oppressed and working for them. It's in every arc.

IMO that justifies Silco's revolt. I mean his violent revolution plans, not whatever undefined stuff he has going on in act II-III. But then I'm French and I grew up being taught that decapitating kings was a Good Thing. And I strongly believe that violence CAN be a necessary part of revolution. The show proves that protests, violent or not, were not even cutting it.

Cait comes down to Zaun, sees the misery, hears from Vi about losing her parents to enforcers... and tells another Zaunite to chill and not attack her people.

Yeah, to me, that looked like no arc at all. She's justified in her actions by the reveal that Marcus was a mole/owned by Silco... So everything she did to uncover Jinx was justified.

Then there's this one good thing, in the final bit, where her story for a brief moment mirrors Vi's.

Remember how Vi makes her first grown up decision, to take responsibility for her actions and stand up to protect her family... And Vander takes it away from her, throwing her down into the basement?

Then Vi and Cait face the Council, and Cait steps up and looks like she's about to LIE to the Council to protect Vi. She's about to ruin the entire point of her going on a vigilante trip in the first place by hiding the truth she's learnt about Jinx...

But Vi stops her, pushes her hand (and her help) away, and throws her own sister under the bus by naming her to the Council. (Yeah, for the LIFE OF ME I cannot comprehend what Vi is meant to think she's doing there. She's basically condemning her sister to death or the rest of her life in Stillwater. What other things does she think she's achieving? A question for another time).

Finale Cait is very much used to just play with Jinx's projections and doesn't do much as a character that would make me feel either way.

As a result I'm left with a Cait who has no great personality. She likes shooting. She liked science a bit, maybe, as a kid? She doesn't mind forgery or abuse of power if it's done by her. She's got a good analytical mind (reconstructs crime scene) but very low empathy (literally can't fathom people would be miserable in Zaun despite years of obsessive research). And that's it. Jayce has more character than her. Heck, we know more about Heimerdinger than Cait, and he's at least fun to hate lol.

She comes off as an entitled brat who doesn't do a whole lot of growth, doesn't learn any valuable lessons, and doesn't see any issues with falling in love with someone like Vi, despite the insane power imbalance between them and Vi's crazy baggage.

And most of this is not "her fault" but the way the writers characterised her, in a show with a shit ton of characters with very complex plot intermingling.

But it's also a show from a game that has her as a sheriff, has hot police skins, and used to have a bunch of police brutality jokes as Vi's voice lines. So yeah, I don't think her creators consider people like me Cait's target audience.

I have, however, read some excellent fics that made a great use of Cait, though not often because I simply don't browse the Caitvi tag. But plenty of fans like her without liking her sheriff/cop side and have done fabulous work to characterise her away from that and give her... Depth, personality, all of that.

So yeah, not holding my breath for season 2, but who knows.

[scorple]

Surface Thoughts

Another part in the ongoing series 'Feathers and Fur', crossposted to ao3 (click here to read there).

Prince Andhera of the Unseelie Court seems to get himself in the middle of things at an alarming rate. Advisor would say it is because of their affable attitude and bumbling speech—both of which serve to show their genial nature and invoke trust from most people they meet. As “pillar boy”, the prince was not afforded an opportunity to show these traits and was instead put on the back burner, so to speak.

This Bloom however, Andhera has well... blossomed. It has certainly led to some interesting moments.

One of the things that pleases him most about this Bloom is his newfound relationship with Captain K.P. Hob. For too long he lamented his loss to the Goblin captain at Briar Falls. He was angry with the Captain and thought of it as a terrible and embarrassing defeat. What sort of fey would leave another to suffer the social repercussions of a dishonorable defeat? Was Andhera so lacking in martial prowess that the Captain couldn’t even be bothered with finishing the job? To not even be given the glorious death in battle that generally accompanies war was more proof that Andhera didn’t have what it takes to lead and that he had brought dishonor to their court.

(Or so their sister told them over and over again following his defeat, until he almost believed it himself.)

Andhera now sees the truth. They know that Hob is the most honorable fey he has ever met. They see the truth behind the pomp and circumstance that generally follows the captain with his sharp uniforms and rigid posture. Hob is order amongst chaos. He is genuine when others are false. He wears his heart on his sleeve but only if one knows where to look. (Often, his ears are a great place to start.)

In fact, it was Hob’s friendship that really made Andhera feel at ease for the first time (publicly) at the Bloom. Their sparring practices have soothed an ache that Andhera hadn’t even been aware existed before now. They of course have some friends back in their court but he’s not sure if Advisor, Grandpa Dog, and Mucky really count. Hob is his first real friend outside of his home and he has a feeling that the same may be true of the goblin.

All this to say that when Hob asked for Andhera to come with him on some mystery errand, it was an easy thing to agree to. Still basking in the very strange success of their visit the Lords of the Wing, they nearly have a skip in their step on the way to the East Gate to meet Hob.

(Andhera is still not completely sure what led Lady Cluckingham to decide to be so open with him and to share news of her newfound love with him but he couldn’t be happier for her and honestly was quite nervous about whatever was going on with the two of them.)

Andhera loses his glad demeanor the second he sees the serious look on Hob’s face. It almost reminds them of the look Hob wore on the battlefield as he stood over Andhea’s prone form, halberd pointed at his neck. This is not the Hob he sparred with. This Hob is stoic, silent, and oddly a little bit sad but Andhera takes solace in the slight softening of Hob’s brow and the way his ears twitch in their direction as they approach.

“Your highness,” Hob says, bowing his head and extending a large, furry paw.

Andhera clasps Hob’s hand in turn and for a moment studies their friend, takes in the long jacket and serious demeanor. “Captain.”

“Good to see you,” Hob returns. Andhera feels as though there is a bit of weight to those words and wonders just what exactly the Captain has gotten himself into.

With a sigh, Hob releases Andhera’s hand. “Thank you for coming here. I know my request must seem strange.” A pause, collecting his thoughts. “I’m going to tread dangerously into the unknown. Your house and mine are both creatures of darkness so into the darkness we must tread,” Hob explains as they walk, cloaked in shadow.  

As they approach the old shop where they are to meet Gwyn, Hob stops them for a moment, turning to face Andhera. He lays a large, warm hand on their arm and says, “I trust you.” The words wash over Andhera and the only way they can describe the feeling is the electricity in the air during a storm. They feel the words buzz over their skin and can’t help the emotions that fill his heart. He responds in some way though thinking back on it, they’re not even really sure what they said.

Hob goes on, looking far too sure about his next proclamation, almost resigned. “No, no. I mean to say I am not a clever man. I am not a man possessed of affinity for high society.” Hob studies Andhera for a moment and the prince is once again taken by his ability to just see where others may not and moreso, speak plainly of what he sees.

“You were born to a family that has put you in this place and I was not. I have…struggled to stay afloat in the,” he pauses again, taking in the cloud forming over Andhera’s head, the soft whites dampened by darker more ominous tones, “ stormy waters of the Bloom and I have at many times failed.” Strangely, Andhera catches a sort of wistful melancholy cross the Captain’s face. They think back to a quiet conversation seated on a fallen log and Andhera feels a tightness in his chest, struck by Hob’s own perceived failings. It must be dreadful work, always doing what is best for others and ignoring what would bring joy to himself. For the first time, Andhera feels like he really understands this most venerable goblin.

“When I look to you, I see a man of honor,” Hob continues. The words strike Andhera in a different way. First disbelief that Hob thinks so little of himself—which clicks even more about the Captain into place—and second, the declaration of their honor like it is the most obvious thing in the world. It makes something settle deep in their chest and makes the shard on the back of their neck buzz. Hob offers them a small, self-deprecating smile. “And perhaps I am a fool but I know that I cannot survive this without making some attempt to trust. So I’m telling you now, Prince Andhera, that I trust you,” and maybe Andhera loses the thread just for bit because for all the things they have had in their life, for all the trinkets from their mother, all the titles unearned and unasked for, this is the greatest gift they have ever been given. They miss the next bit, the words washing over them, heat rising to their face at the praise.

“What an interesting day this is turning out to be,” Andhera says with a smile. The cloud above Andhera’s head blooms wide and white, a warm summer mist which might usually be accompanied by a rainbow. “As I am sharing the deepest secrets with many people it seems,” he muses, catching Hob’s confused look and shrugging. They echo the Captain’s own words from a day prior back to him. “And I would like to extend to you, Captain-–you can trust me with anything and I will be candid and honest with you.”

The two continue side by side, enveloped and caressed by the darkness, talking amicably as equals and Andhera feels something slot into place.

*********************************************************************

Back to being in the middle of things.

Many things happen all at once and yet seemingly over infinite stretches of time. Andhera feels the stabbing pain, the heartache , from Hob the moment he sees Rue. It is something that they think will require further investigation and more than likely some very stern words for his friend for Andhera has idolized Hob for longer than he cares to admit. 

The Captain, a fierce and formidable opponent, chose to spare them when others may not have. With all the propaganda and whispers scattered throughout his court, Andhera assumed the Goblins to be bloodthirsty, untamable beasts hell bent on the destruction of all the Unseelie hold dear but to lay beneath Hob’s halberd and be granted life , they realized quite suddenly they were wrong. When Andhera had gotten over the hurt feelings and moved past the humiliation from his sister, he had decided that Hob was more honorable than most, had been excited to hear of the Captain’s attendance to the Bloom.

To hear Hob’s surface thoughts and see how little the man truly felt of himself, it was enough to steal Andhera’s breath. 

Through their conversation and from his own observations, Andhera had known there was something going on between Hob and Rue, but never this shameful adoration the Captain held for them. It’s neither the time nor place, but he wants to take Hob by the shoulders and shake him hard enough to dislodge the hopelessness from his mind.

Andhera listens closely, chimes in when necessary but mostly watches the interactions between Hob and Rue, feeling their cloud shift and change over the conversation. The emotions boiling at the surface of Rue’s thoughts sink into Andhera’s mind and it takes a moment to process all of it. He feels their doubt, their shame, their anxiety, their want and all of it directed towards Hob.

He feels the sadness when Rue speaks of not feeling like they belong, feels that same thought echoed across Binx and Hob and suddenly, he realizes, echoed in himself as well. They are all mismatched pieces coming together in an abandoned tailor’s shop, desperate for answers or hope or connection. Hob’s mind pushes to the front and Andhera nearly chokes on the intensity of the Captain’s memories.

Hob walking cloaked and silent in the dark edges of the wood, a goblin bonfire burning in the distance. Hob wondering why he could not bring himself to join, could not give in to the rumpus and ruin. Hob wishing he could just turn off and belong for once. The longing is something with which Andhera is intimately acquainted but the affection and earnest wish that comes after—a wish for Rue to know that they do have a place, they can belong—somehow fades into the memory of the smell of peonies. They see Hob's memory of Rue's wrist clasped in his hand, of Rue's words in the secret of the wood and the feelings that blossomed from such a brief conversation.

Andhera wants to yell, wants to scream at Hob to say something, do something .

But he doesn't.

They feel the pang when Hob acknowledges his role in the proposed arrangement and feels the guilt the captain feels all tied up and tangled with his own pride at his accomplishments. Hob only wanted to bring status to his people and to bring the Goblin Court out from the darkness and into the light of the other fey and instead was left to clean up the scattered pieces abandoned so carelessly by others.

It almost shocks Andhera out of their own musings when Hob announces his name so abruptly but as that fades, they turn the name over in their head, letting forth a small smile. Knickolas is a good name, strong and not expected. They’re so caught up in thinking about it, wondering now what the 'P' could possibly be, that it’s only the soft sigh from Rue that brings him back out just in time to hear Rue’s voice echo through his mind, clear as cave water.

I love him.

[deripmaver]

laurent is a good person - book 1 meta

one of the most amazing things about captive prince is how the reveals in book 3 recontextualize all of the scenes leading up to them, including about laurent himself. in book one, all we see is damen pov as he’s being abused and humiliated by this supposedly spoiled, vile ice prince. when the regent comes to damen and subtly (and not so subtly) insults laurent, calling him unfit to rule - well, why would he think anything different? laurent has insulted him, had him whipped within an inch of his life, and even attempted to (and later successfully lmfao) have him raped while drugged out of his mind. 

after book 3 we can reread most if not all of book 1 as a very traumatized boy who has finally been confronted with the man who killed his brother, leaving him alone with his abusive uncle, and who he clearly has made into a complete monster in his own mind. damen of course sees him as a complete bitch, but there’s textual/subtextual evidence that laurent is well liked, and that his behavior during book 1 was actually pretty out of character for him. i’d like to provide some examples of that now!!!!

“Laurent had stopped dead the moment he had seen Damen, his face turning white as though in reaction to a slap, or an insult. Damen’s view, half-truncated by the short chain at this neck, had been enough to see that. But Laurent’s expression had shuttered quickly.” Captive Prince, Chapter One

i couldn’t resist adding this one in hehe. laurent recognizes damen!! he’s come down, knowing his uncle has devised another truly horrendous and triggering “gift” and that he’ll lose support if he calls it our for what it truly is, only to find out that it’s fucking damianos of akielos sent to him as a sex slave. a jab at laurent’s trauma about auguste and also a jab at laurent’s frigid sexuality - which ofc is completely the regent’s fault. fuck that guy so much lmfao 

“‘It’s so rare to see you at these entertainments, Your Highness,’ said Vannes.” Captive Prince, Chapter Two.

this is right before the fight between govart and damen in the ring, of course. damen sees laurent as depraved and vile as the sexual sadism on display by the veretian court, and considers him to be a willing purveyor of it. this is wrong, of course, as said by vannes here. laurent has only shown up because he wants to humiliate damen lmfao.

“He did remember being supported by two of the guards, here, in this room, while Radel stared athis back in horror. ‘The Prince really . . . did this.’ ‘Who else?’ Damen said. Radel had stepped forward, and slapped Damen across the face; it was a hard slap, and the man wore three rings on each finger. ‘What did you do to him?’ Radel demanded.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

this scene, to me, was the most telling lmfao. it’s right after damen is whipped. you could argue that radel is just a servant in the employ of the royal household, so is of course going to be loyal to the prince, but he seems genuinely surprised of the prince’s cruelty towards damen. not only that, but he slaps him and immediately assumes damen must have done something. which - i mean, technically he did lmao. not necessarily enough to deserve having the skin flayed from his back, but you know. if laurent was in the habit of torturing pets and slaves, why would the overseer react this way?

“The men guarding him were the Prince’s Guard, and had no affiliation with the Regent whatsoever. It surprised Damen how loyal they were to their Prince, and how diligent in his service, airing none of the grudges and complaints that he might have expected, considering Laurent’s noxious personality. Laurent’s feud with his uncle they took up wholeheartedly; there were deep schisms and rivalries between the Prince’s Guard and the Regent’s Guard, apparently.” Captive Prince, Chapter Four

laurents relationships with his guards are also some of the biggest indicators that he isn’t just a spoiled brat, but can insire a deep loyalty in his men. even if they do all want to fuck him. ah, sexual harassment. it’s also hilarious that damen immediately assumes they’re loyal to him because they want to fuck him - nice projection there, dude. we know a bit more about laurent and his guards thanks to green but for a season, but this little bit here is interesting.

“Laurent was indeed good at talking. He accepted sympathy gracefully. He put his position rationally. He stopped the flow of talk when it became dangerously critical of his uncle. He said nothing that could be taken as an open slight on the Regency. Yet no one who talked to him could have any doubt that his uncle was behaving at best misguidedly and at worst treasonously.”  Captive Prince, Chapter Five

idek what to say here. laurent my beloved <3333

“‘When someone doesn’t like you very much, it isn’t a good idea to let them know that you care about something,’ said Laurent. Damen felt himself turn ashen, as the threat sank in. ‘Would it hurt worse than a lashing for me to cut down someone you care for?’ said Laurent.” Captive Prince, Chapter Seven

this isn’t really relevant to my thesis lmfao i just love this exchange bc it gives SO MUCH information about laurent and his uncle in just three lines of dialogue. what has the regent done, who did he cut down just to hurt laurent? when and how did laurent learn that? p a i n 

“Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her.” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine. 

HORSEY NO- lmfao this scene just hurts so badly on the reread. especially later on, in book 3 i think, where laurent says something like “i provoked my uncle.” he’s really blaming himself for his uncle KILLING HIS HORSE, his horse that his murdered brother trained, one of the only living connections to auguste... all because his uncle could not let a single miniscule plan laurent had set go through without some kind of repercussion. literally all laurent did was do something to stop an innocent group of people from being abused, nothing to undermine his uncle’s rule, but because the regent is VILE he could not let laurent have even this. he’s so good with her, too. he must have known by this point and also known that there was no way to stop this. P A I N

“‘I know that you have somehow arranged this,’ said Erasmus. He was incapable of hiding what he felt, and just seemed to radiate embarrassed happiness. ‘You kept your promise. You and your master. I told you he was kind,’ Erasmus said. ‘You did,’ said Damen. He was pleased to see Erasmus happy. Whatever Erasmus believed about Laurent, Damen wasn’t going to dissuade him. ‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.” Captive Prince, Chapter 9.

this is the first in-text confirmation we have that laurent has a good heart beneath his layers and layers of trauma-induced lashing out. book one often skeeves people out because of its graphic and, honestly, yes, kind of sexualized depiction of rape, slavery, and depravity, but beneath it all you meet these two protagonists who are going to have all of their most deeply held views about each other challenged. laurent from very early on is shaken to his core when damen refuses to rape nicaise in the ring - it cracks the very foundations of the person he’d built up in his head as this horrible monster who killed his brother in cold blood. and damen keeps defying laurents expectations by being a good person through and through. on the other hand, laurent spends the first part of the book taking out years of anger on damen, but here for the first time we see him do something just because its the kind thing to do. yes, torveld is an ally against his uncle, but laurent has clearly been scheming with him for a while now, and he’s now overlooking his hatred of damen and working with him just because none of the slaves deserve whats happened to them. it’s such a sweet moment.

“One of the other men, eyeing them, approached a moment later. ‘Don’t mind Jean. He’s in a foul mood. He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.’” Captive Prince, Chapter Nine.

HORSEY NO- pt 2. this is just another really sweet and sad detail - laurent being so upset that the horse’s death could have been more painless. it must have hurt so much to see her in pain, and to know that the only way for that pain to end was being put down as quickly as possible. i wuv him. im sad

that’s it, though there are still a few more chapters left in the book. this isn’t providing any new information, of course, the path of the three books is to show that laurent isnt the man we meet in book one, that he’s actually sweet, and earnest, and he’s been fighting his own battle practically alone against his abuser since he was fifteen years old. also, the reveal that laurent knew who damianos was from the start makes it clear imo that all of his violence in book 1 was supposed vengence, not... him being evil. he apologizes explicitly in-text, and also, all of the acts of violence he commits cause serious problems for him in terms of his future alliance which he then needs to fix. i just love how layered these books are, how there’s so much information in them that makes rereading almost more fun than reading them for the very first time!

[espressokiri]

Meant To Be Yours

Bonten!Sanzu Haruchiyo x GN!reader

In which Sanzu has reader wrapped around his fingers.

Warnings: Toxic relationship, manipulation, drug taking, guns, slight graphic descriptions

Genre: Angst, smidge of fluff

Notes: I have Sanzu brainrot plz.

The feeling of teeth nibbling into the nail-bed was one of calm, a simple distraction away from the wavering thoughts that littered their brain as they eyed their surroundings. The car they were being chauffeured in starting to seem claustrophobic as Y/n started to recognize their surroundings. A familiar dread settling in their gut. 

“Didn’t I tell you to stop that?”

The cold voice had Y/n flinching, immediately removing their hand from their mouth and down onto their lap. Avoiding eye-contact with the male they had grown dependent on. A cold hand gripped Y/n’s face, turning their gaze onto bitter blues. “Don’t want my precious to ruin themself.”

Y/n gulped and sent him a shaky smile, “Haru, are you sure about this?”

A sickly sweet smile framed Sanzu’s face as he leaned closer to them, Y/n glancing at the scars at the edge of his lips as he spoke, “don’t you trust me, Y/n?” Arm wrapping around Y/n’s figure as he pulled them closer, fingers grazing the back of their neck sending shivers down Y/n’s spine.

“It’s been a long time coming, my dear.” Sanzu whispers into their ear, raising goosebumps with each word he uttered, “this is my revenge for them corrupting you, my sweet.” Raising a finger and trailing it down Y/n’s jaw.

“They gave me a home, they fed me, they-”

“Ah, the bare minimum.” Sanzu hums, cutting them off, “all of which I had provided for you with pure love.”

Love. Sanzu’s expression of love held a more possessive touch. His impulsive nature along with his ‘act first, think later’ mindset had gunned down a lot of people who had run their mouth on Y/n, whether it be foul words, an attempted kidnapping, or even a wrong glance. Sanzu made sure they knew who the people were dealing with. Y/n was aware of such red flags he carried, but they were the only ones to see Sanzu behind closed doors, away from how he presented himself to the public.

“Do you not see that you’ve been happier with me? That I’ve only filled your pretty little head with sweet nothings instead of fear and self doubt? Have I ever made you doubt my loyalty to you?”

Each question being thrown at them was like clearing a fog that had embedded in their mind. While it was true that their guardian was not one of affection, nor provided proper upbringing, they were someone who took them in when Y/n was struggling. But then there was Sanzu Haruchiyo, a powerful man who had taken a liking to them back when they were high-schoolers and built up their shattered self-confidence piece by piece, speaking nothing but truth despite his dark background.

Sanzu was their protector, someone who gave them the validation they sought out due to their harsh living environment and non-existent affection. Sanzu may hold a harsh exterior but he did show them the soft parts of him too -the parts where he would hold them close in the privacy of their apartment and caress them with soft touches as he kissed them with fiery passion in a drugged haze.

It was in the midst of October when he had found them, sitting alone on the park bench in the dead of night with no fear of repercussion despite the lingering dangers around the area. They were in their own thoughts as tears were dripping from their eyes, a sullen expression on their face as they tried wiping them away with the, already damp, sleeve of their hoodie. 

It was then that their eyes landed on a long haired beauty in his Toman uniform and a mask covering his mouth. They were intimidated by the masked male but his eyes were drawing them in, he looked at them with a curious stare before deciding to make his way towards them, hands in pocket. 

“Isn’t it a bit too late at night for you to be out here?”

“I should be asking you the same question.”

Silence engulfed the two before the male scoffed, sitting next to them on the bench. 

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Y/n weighed their option of expressing their stress onto the male they had just met or to just sit in silence and wallow in their own thoughts. The former seemed like a proper answer for now, to save them the sliver of sanity they had left. 

They then spoke of how their guardian treated them, how the guardian would project their own trauma and problems onto them, disregarding any feeling Y/n had held. Y/n of course kept their mouth shut throughout the whole ordeal at home because they had no where else to go, nor were they taught to speak back to adults because it was considered rude. 

Sanzu had listened in, looking down at his hands as they spoke. Feeling despair oozing from the person sitting beside him, he wanted to speak up for them as their voice cracked from holding back sobs.

“Maybe they were right, I am useless and good for nothi-”

Sanzu’s eyebrow twitched in anger as he shot them an angry glare, a murderous glint in his eyes that had Y/n leaning away from him in fear. “Finish that sentence. I dare you.” The threatening tone making Y/n gulp down their words.

A sinister laugh escaped the male’s lips, slightly muffled from the mask.

“So innocent of you to believe words of an adult as pathetic as that, especially when you yourself are aware that they are just projecting.” His eyes turned to crescents, a smile hidden under the mask, “if you don’t know your own self worth then you really are just scrap.”

Y/n’s shoulders drooped at the blunt words, mulling over his words.

“Lucky for you, I come by every night. Maybe you can prove to me you’re not scrap after all.”

It was then an unspoken bond had formed between the two. Y/n often being Sanzu’s personal nurse if he visited their meeting place with bleeding wounds. The first time Y/n had seen him without the mask had them speechless, Sanzu turned his head away while rolling his eyes at the gaping mouth of theirs but froze as Y/n had cupped his face and ran their thumb along the scar gently. 

“It’s unfair how pretty you are.”

Sanzu, in that moment, felt the odd sensation of fluttery feelings in his stomach. He ignored them as they tended to his wounds, evaluating this strong feeling as violence was the only thing he had come to know. His own captain of the fifth division had handed him the very mask he wore everyday to hide his scars.

After that encounter he had came to the park without the mask, and every time Y/n would stare at him like he was the prettiest person they had ever encountered, unconsciously grazing their thumb over his scar if they were tending to a wound. 

The day Y/n had kissed him right on one of his scars was the day Sanzu had grown to call them his person. He would not let them leave until they kissed his scars as a form of goodbye. Sanzu enjoyed the feeling of being cared for, enjoyed the feeling of the soft moments he could look back at when he struggled to fall asleep. It was also then when a burning hatred took place for Y/n’s guardian, their words running through his mind as he clenched his jaw. He does not forgive and forget.

He had to wait until he became someone people feared.

Sanzu was proud that they had stuck by him, proving just as loyal as he. “Come with me, I’ll give you the future you deserve.” Having his hand extended towards Y/n as heavy rain drenched the both of them. Y/n wasn’t sure if it was the thrill of the moment to run away with the man who had heard every story they had to tell or the enticing way Sanzu had offered; the sounds of rain pattering on the pavement and the blurring of their surroundings making Y/n just focus on the male who looked just about as excited about the idea as they were. In the end, Y/n intertwined their fingers with his.

He had managed to take Y/n under his wing as he rose up the ranks with Mikey, providing them with luxuries they were never spoiled with in hopes that they felt worthy.

This is where it lead them, Sanzu hadn’t forgotten his plan from his teenage years as he stood before the kneeling guardian who had tape around their mouth to muffle their yells with their arms and legs bound behind them. 

Y/n was shakily standing behind Sanzu, gripping the back of his vest as the male toyed with his gun. “Now, now, panicking won’t do you any good.” Sanzu grinned, as he clicked the safety off of the pistol. 

Reaching into his pocket, Sanzu pulled out a pill before placing it on his tongue and swallowing it dry. “Haru, I’m not sure about this anymore.” Y/n muttered, glancing around the place they used to call ‘home’. It was unnerving to be back, especially under these circumstances. The silence of the house disturbed by the heavy breathing and struggling grunts of their guardian.

Sanzu swiftly turned around and looked at the trembling figure of his partner,  “You know they don't care about you, right? You know you're nothing but their little trauma and anger projection dumpster, right?” He hummed, thumbing Y/n’s cheek gently, “they don't care for you, but I'm here, I was always here for you.”

The muffled yelling grew louder as Y/n’s guardian protested.

Sanzu grew annoyed at the sound and shot his gun at the ceiling, “shut up!” efficiently silencing the guardian. Turning back to Y/n, who had flinched from the sound of the gun, he continued, “you never even considered this place a home, my love. I’m your home.”

“Isn’t killing them a bit too much?”

“No, my dear. It’ll be freeing! You’ll be free from what you reduced yourself to once this pest is gone. You’ll only know what feeling like royalty would be if you let go of the past.” 

Y/n gulped, wanting to be rid of this situation already despite the lingering confusion as the fight for the moral high ground took place in their mind. 

“Okay.”

Sanzu laughed gleefully as he handed Y/n the gun, “you do the honours!”

“I- I don’t know-”

Sanzu slid behind Y/n, running his hands down their arms before helping them grip onto the gun. The metal sitting heavy in Y/n’s palm as they held the weapon that determined someones life or death, their breathing getting erratic at the thought. Sanzu leaned his head on their shoulder, placing a soft kiss on their neck, “calm down.” He breathed out as he placed their finger on the trigger.

The raw screaming was muffled by the tape as the guardian struggled to get out of their bindings, eyes begging for mercy.

“I-”

“Shh, just focus on me, okay?” Another kiss to their neck as he slid his other hand to cover Y/n’s eyes, Sanzu leaned closer to their ear, “on the count of three, okay?”

“One.”

Unintelligible words were being poured from the guardian’s mouth as they tried their best to get out of the situation. Sanzu eyed them with a maniacal grin on his face, excited to take revenge for his partner.

“Two.”

Sanzu stuck his tongue out at the guardian.

“Three!”

A piercing shot rang through the house, a ringing in Y/n’s ears as they were slightly pushed back from the recoil, hitting their back against Sanzu’s chest as he let out a delighted, and slightly demented, laugh.

He lets the gun drop from Y/n’s hands, it clattering on the floor as he turns them around to face him and away from the blood splatter and chunks of brain matter that sprayed the walls. 

“You’re finally free!” He grins, cupping their face with his hands before slamming his lips onto theirs. Despite being shaken up, Y/n wrapped their arms around him and basked in the comfort he provided. His lips moving against theirs in a frenzy, drowning out the dark thoughts that were plaguing Y/n’s mind, overcoming them with the feeling of Sanzu. His warmth, his touch, his groans.

Sanzu pulled away as he heard sirens in the distance, a neighbour most likely phoning about hearing a gunshot. “Let’s get back home and continue our celebration, shall we?”

It was then Y/n was aware that they only had Sanzu left. He was the string holding their last bit of sanity together and they would do whatever it takes to keep that string on a stronghold.

[innuendostudios]

I was invited to give a talk on GamerGate over Zoom in early 2021. I've long been frustrated that there isn't a good timeline of GG and its origins on YouTube. When people ask "what the hell was GG anyway?" they often get referred to my or Dan Olson's videos on the subject, but both of them were made while GG was ongoing, and presumed a degree of familiarity on the part of the audience. There was just too much to say about what was already happening to spend time getting the audience up to speed, and it was safe to assume our audiences had enough context to follow along. But time moves fast on the internet, and many people who now care about such things weren't there while it was happening, and are lacking the necessary context to follow the better videos. For a long time, I've only been able to direct them to RationalWiki's timeline, which is excellent but so exhaustively comprehensive that it's likely to scare off first-timers.

I realize an hourlong lecture isn't necessarily helping matters, but the first 20-or-so minutes of this video are my attempt at streamlining the timeline such that people can be up to speed on the most important stuff fairly quickly. The rest is talking about what it all meant, how it prefigured the Alt-Right, and using it to better understand digital radicalization.

This video was made with the help of Magdalen Rose, who edited the slides to the audio while I was laid up with a back injury. Go sub to her channel! And please back me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

FUCKING VIDEO GAMES? FUCKING VIDEO GAMES. THEY MADE DOZENS OF PEOPLE MISERABLE FOR YEARS OVER VIDEO GAMES! NOT EVEN FUCKING VIDEO GAMES, FUCKING ARTICLES ABOUT FUCKING VIDEO GAMES. THIS IS WHAT PASSES FOR LEGITIMATE GRIEVANCE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT??

Hi! My name is Ian Danskin. I’m a video essayist and media artist. I run the YouTube channel Innuendo Studios, please like share and subscribe.

I’m here to talk to you about GamerGate, and I needed to get all that out of the way. I’m going to talk about what GamerGate was and how it prefigured The Alt-Right, and there are gonna be moments where you’re nodding along with me, going, “yeah, yeah I get it,” and then the sun’s gonna break through a crack in the wall and you’ll suddenly remember that all this is happening because some folks - mostly ladies - said some stuff - provably true stuff, I might add - about video games and a bunch of guys didn’t like it, and you’re gonna want to rip your hair out. By the end of this, you will have a better understanding of what happened, but it will never not be bullshit.

Also, oh my god, content warning. Racism, sexism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, rape threats, threats of violence, domestic abuse - I’m not going to depict or describe at length any of the worst stuff, but it’s all in the mix. So if at any point you need to switch me off or mute me, you have my blessing.

Brace yourselves.

Some quick prehistory:

In 2012, feminist media critic Anita Sarkeesian ran a Kickstarter campaign for a YouTube series on sexist tropes in video games. And, partway through the campaign, 4chan found it and said “let’s ruin her life.” And a lot of the male general gaming public joined in. And by “ruin her life” I’m not talking 150 angry tweets including dozens of rape and death threats per week, though that was a thing. I’m talking bomb threats. I’m talking canceled speaking engagements because someone threatened to shoot up a school. I’m talking FBI investigation. The harassers faced no meaningful repercussions.

And in 2013, Zoe Quinn released Depression Quest, a free text game about living with depression. They received harassment off and on for the next year, most pointedly from an incel forum called Wizardchan that doxxed their phone number and made harassing phone calls telling them to kill themself. The harassers faced no meaningful repercussions.

(Also, quick note: Zoe Quinn is nonbinary and has come out since the events in question. When I call Zoe’s harassment misogynist, understand I am not calling Zoe a woman, but they were attacked by people who hate women because that’s how they were perceived. Had they been out at the time things probably would’ve gone down similarly, but on top of misogyny I’d be talking about nonbinary erasure and transphobia.)

Okay. Our story begins in August 2014. The August that never ended.

Depression Quest, after a prolonged period on Greenlight, finally releases on Steam as a free download with the option to pay what you want. In the days that follow, Zoe’s ex-boyfriend, Eron Gjoni, writes a nearly 10,000-word blog called The Zoe Post, in which he claims Quinn had been a shitty and unfaithful partner. (For reference, 10,000 words is long enough that the Hugos would consider it a novelette.) This is posted to forums on Penny Arcade and Something Awful, both of which immediately take it down, finding it, at best, a lot of toxic hearsay and, at worse, an invitation to harassment. So Gjoni workshops the post, adds a bunch of edgelord humor (and I am using the word “humor” very generously), and reposts it to three different subforums on 4chan.

We’re not going to litigate whether Zoe Quinn was a good partner. I don’t know or care. I don’t think anyone on this call is trying to date them so I’m not sure that’s our business. What is known is that the relationship lasted five months, and, after it ended, Gjoni began stalking Quinn. Gjoni has, in fact, laid out how he stalked Quinn in meticulous detail to interviewers and why he feels it was justified. It’s also been corroborated by a friend that Quinn briefly considered taking him back at a games conference in San Francisco, but he became violent during sex and Quinn left the apartment in the middle of the night with visible bruises.

Off of the abusive ex-boyfriend’s post, 4chan decides it’s going to make Zoe Quinn one of their next targets, and starts a private IRC channel to plan the campaign. The channel is called #BurgersAndFries, a reference to Gjoni claiming Quinn had cheated on him with five guys. A couple sentences in The Zoe Post - which Gjoni would later claim were a typo - imply that one of the five guys was games journalist Nathan Grayson and that Quinn had slept with him in exchange for a good review of Depression Quest. Given the anger that they’d seen drummed up against women in games with the previous Anita Sarkeesian hate mob, #BurgersAndFries decides to focus on this breach of “ethics in games journalism” as a cover story, many of them howling with laughter at the thought that male gamers would probably buy it. This way, destroying Quinn’s life and career and turning their community against them would appear an unfortunate byproduct of a legitimate consumer revolt; criticism of the harassment could even be framed as a distraction from the bigger issue. Gjoni himself is in the IRC channel telling them that this was the best hand to play.

The stated aim of many on #BurgersAndFries was to convince Quinn to commit suicide.

Two regulars in the IRC, YouTubers MundaneMatt and Internet Aristocrat, make videos about The Zoe Post. Incidentally, both these men had already made a lot of money off videos about Anita Sarkeesian. Matt’s is swiftly taken down with a DMCA claim, and he says that Quinn filed the claim themself. (For the record, in those days, YouTube didn’t tell you who filed DMCA claims against you.) Members of the IRC also reach out to YouTuber TotalBiscuit, who had been critical of Sarkeesian and dismissive of her harassment, and he tweets the story to his 350,000 followers, saying a game developer trading sex for a good review might not prove true, but was certainly plausible.

This is where GamerGate begins to get public traction.

Zoe Quinn is very swiftly doxxed, with their phone number, home address, nudes, and names and numbers of their family collected. Gjoni himself leaks their birth name. The Zoe Post, and the movement against Quinn - now dubbed “The Quinnspiracy” - make it to The Escapist and Reddit, which mods will have little luck removing. The Quinnspiracy declares war on any site that does take their threads down, most vehemently NeoGAF. People who defend Zoe against the harassment start getting doxxed themselves - Fez developer Phil Fish is doxxed so thoroughly, hackers get access to the root folder of his website.

In what I’m going to call This Should Have Been The End, Part 1, Stephen Totilo, Editor-in-Chief at Kotaku where Nathan Grayson worked, in response to pressure not just from The Quinnspiracy but an increasing number of angry gamers buying The Quinnspiracy’s narrative, publishes a story. In it he verifies that Quinn and Grayson did date for several months, and that not only is there no review of Depression Quest anywhere on Kotaku, not by Grayson nor anyone else, but that Grayson did not write a single word about Quinn the entire time they were dating.

In response, The Quinnspiracy declares war on Kotaku. r/KotakuinAction is formed, which will become the primary site of organization outside of chanboards. The fact that their entire “movement” is based on a review that does not exist changes next to nothing.

Some people start to see The Quinnspiracy as potentially profitable. The Fine Young Capitalists get involved, a group ostensibly working to get women into video games but who have a Byzantine plan to do so wherein they crowdfund the budget and the woman who wins a competition gets to storyboard a game, but another company will make and she will get 8% of the profits, the rest going to a charity chosen by the top donor. 4chan becomes the top donor. They like TFYC because the head of the company has a vendetta against Zoe Quinn, who had previously called them out for their transphobic submission policy, and he falsely accused Quinn of having once doxxed him. 4chan feels backing an ostensibly feminist effort will be good PR, but can’t resist selecting a colon cancer charity because, they say, feminism is cancer and they want to be the cure to butthurt. They also get to design a character for the game, and so they create Vivian James, who will become the GamerGate mascot.

Manosphere YouTubers Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini launch a Patreon campaign for their antifeminist documentary The Sarkeesian Effect and come to The Quinnspiracy looking for $15,000 a month for an indefinite period to make it, which they get.

In what will prove genuinely awful timing, Anita Sarkeesian releases the second episode of Tropes vs. Women in Video Games, and, despite not being a games journalist and having nothing to do with Quinn or Grayson, she is immediately roped into the narrative about how feminists are ruining games culture and becomes the second major target of harassment. Both she and Quinn soon have to leave their houses after having receiving dozens and dozens of death threats that include their home addresses.

After being courted by members of the IRC channel, Firefly star Adam Baldwin tweets a link to one of the Quinnspiracy videos and coins the hashtag #GamerGate. This is swiftly adopted by all involved.

In response to all this, Leigh Alexander writes a piece for Gamasutra arguing that the identity that these men are flocking to the “ethics in games journalism” narrative to defend no longer matters as a marketing demographic. Gaming and games culture is so large and so varied, and the “core gamer” audience of 18-34 white bros growing smaller and septic, that there was no reason, neither morally nor financially, to treat them as the primary audience anymore. Love of gaming is eternal, but, she declared, “gamers,” as an identity, “are over.” Eight more articles contextualizing GamerGate alongside misogyny and the gatekeeping of games culture come out across several websites in the following days. GamerGate frames these as a clear sign of [deep sigh] collusion to oppress gamers, proving that ethics in games journalism is, indeed, broken, and Leigh Alexander becomes the third major target of harassment. These become known as the “gamers are dead” articles - a phrase not one of them uses - and they make “get Leigh Alexander fired from Gamasutra” one of their primary goals.

Something I need you to understand is that it has, at this point, been two weeks.

Highlights from the next little bit: Alex Macris, a higher up at The Escapist’s parent company, expresses support for GamerGate; he will go on to write the first positive coverage at a major publication and cement The Escapist as GamerGate-friendly. Mike Cernovich, aka “Based Lawyer,” gets GamerGate’s attention by mocking Anita Sarkeesian; he will go on to hire a private investigator to stalk Zoe Quinn. GamerGate launches Operation Disrespectful Nod, an email campaign pressuring companies to pull advertising from websites that have criticized them. They leverage their POC members, getting them, any time someone points out the rampant racism and antisemitism among GamerGaters, to say “I am a person of color and I am #NotYourShield”; most of these “POC members” are fake accounts left over from a previous, racist disinformation campaign. Milo Yiannapoulos gets involved, writing positive coverage of GG despite having mocked gamers for precisely this behavior in the past, and gets so much traffic it pulls Breitbart News out of obscurity and makes it a significant player in modern conservative news media.

[Hey! Ian from the future here. This talk mostly addresses how GamerGate prefigured the Alt-Right strategically and philosophically, but if you want a more explicit, material connection: Breitbart News took its newfound notoriety to become, as its Executive Chair phrased it in 2016, "a platform for the Alt-Right." That Executive Chair was Steve Bannon, who threw the website's weight behind The Future President Who Shall Not Be Named, and, upon getting his attention, would then go on to become his campaign strategist and work in his Administration. So, if you're wondering how one of the central figures of the Alt-Right ended up in the White House, the answer is literally "GamerGate." Back to you, Ian from the past!]

In what I’m calling This Should Have Been The End, Part 2, Zoe Quinn announces that they have been lurking the #BurgersAndFries IRC channel since the beginning and releases dozens of screenshots showing harassment being planned and the selection of “ethics in games journalism” as a cover. #BurgersAndFries has a meltdown, everyone turns on each other, and the channel is abandoned. And they then start another IRC and things proceed.

It goes on like this. I’m not gonna cover everything. This is just the first month. It should be clear by now that this thing is kind of unkillable. And I worry I haven’t made it obvious that this is not just a chanboard and an IRC. Thousands of regular, every day gamers were buying the story and joining in. They were angry, and no amount of evidence that their anger was unfounded was going to change that. You could not mention or even allude to GamerGate and not get flooded with dozens, even hundreds of furious replies. These replies always included the hashtag so everyone monitoring it could join in, so all attempts at real conversation devolved into a hundred forking threads where some people expected you to talk to them while others hurled insults and slurs. And always the possibility that, if any one of them didn’t like what you said, you’d be the next target.

To combat this, some progressives offered up the hashtag #GameEthics to the people getting swept up in GamerGate, saying, “look, we get that you’re angry, and if you want to talk about ethics in games journalism, we can totally do that, but using your hashtag is literally putting us in danger; they calling the police on people saying there’s a hostage situation at their home addresses so they get sent armed SWAT teams, and if you’ll just use this other hashtag we can have the conversation you say you want to have in safety.” And I will ever stop being salty about what happened.

They refused. They wouldn’t cede any ground to what they saw as their opposition. It was so important to have the conversation on their terms that not only did they refuse to use #GameEthics, they spammed it with furry porn so no one could use it.

A few major events on the timeline before we move on: Christina Hoff Sommers, the Republican Party’s resident “feminist,” comes out criticizing Anita Sarkeesian and becomes a major GG figurehead, earning the title Based Mom. Zoe Quinn gets a restraining order against Eron Gjoni, which he repeatedly violates, to no consequence; GG will later crowdfund his legal fees. There’s this listserv called GameJournoPros where game journalists would talk about their jobs, and many are discussing their concerns over GamerGate, so Milo Yiannopoulos leaks it and this is framed as further “proof of collusion.” 4chan finally starts enforcing its “no dox” rules and shuts GamerGate threads down, so they migrate to 8chan, a site famous for hosting like a lot of child porn. Indie game developer Brianna Wu makes a passing joke about GamerGate on Twitter and they decide, seemingly on a whim, to make her one of the biggest targets in the entire movement; she soon has to leave her home as well. GamerGate gets endorsements from WikiLeaks, Infowars, white nationalist sites Stormfront and The Daily Stormer, and professional rapist RooshV. And hundreds of people get doxxed; an 8chan subforum called Baphomet is created primarily to host dox of GamerGate’s critics.

But by November, GamerGate popularity was cresting, as more and more mainstream media covered it negatively. Their last, big spike in popularity came when Anita Sarkeesian went on The Colbert Report and Stephen made fun of the movement. Their numbers never recovered after that.

Which is not to say GamerGate ended. It slowed down. The period of confusion where the mainstream world couldn’t tell whether it was a legitimate movement or not passed. But, again, most harassers faced no meaningful repercussions. Gamers who bought the lie about “ethics in games journalism” stayed mad that no one had ever taken them seriously, and harassers continued to grief their targets for years. The full timeline of GamerGate is an constant cycle of lies, harassment, operations, grift, and doxxing. Dead-enders are to this day still using the hashtag. And remember how Anita had nothing to do with ethics in games journalism or Zoe Quinn, and they just roped her in because they’d enjoyed harassing her before so why not? Every one of GamerGate’s targets knows that they may get dragged into some future harassment campaign just because. It’s already happened to several of them. They’re marked.

(sigh) Let’s take a breath.

Now that we know what GamerGate was, let’s talk about why it worked.

In the thick of GamerGate, I started compiling a list of tactics I saw them using. I wanted to make a video essay that was one part discussion of antifeminist backlash, and one part list of techniques these people use so we can better recognize and anticipate their behavior. That first part became six parts and the second part went on a back burner. It would eventually become my series, The Alt-Right Playbook. GamerGate is illustrative because most of what would become The Alt-Right Playbook was in use.

Two foundational principles of The Alt-Right Playbook are Control the Conversation and Never Play Defense. Make sure people are talking about what you want them to talk about, and take an aggressive posture so you look dominant even when you’re not making sense. For instance: once Zoe leaked the IRC chatlogs, a reasonable person could tell the average gater, “the originators of GamerGate were planning harassment from the very beginning.” But the gater would say, “you’re cherry-picking; not everyone was a harasser.”

Now, this is a bad argument - that’s not how you use “cherry-picking” - and it’s being framed as an accusation - you’re not just wrong, you’re dishonest - which makes you wanna defend yourself. But, if you do - if you tell them why that argument is crap - you’ve let the conversation move from “did the IRC plan harassment?” - a question of fact - to “are the harassers representative of the movement?” - a question of ethics. Like, yes, they are, but only within a certain moral framework. An ethics question has no provable answer, especially if people are willing to make a lot of terrible arguments. It is their goal to move any question with a definitive answer to a question of philosophy, to turn an argument they can’t win into an argument nobody can win.

The trick is to treat the question you asked like it’s already been answered and bait you into addressing the next question. By arguing about whether you’re cherry-picking, you’re accepting the premise that whether you’re cherry-picking is even relevant. Any time this happens, it’s good to pause and ask, “what did we just skip over?” Because that will tell you a lot.

What you skipped over is their admission that, yes, the IRC did plan harassment, but that’s only on them if most of the movement was in on it. Which is a load of crap - the rest of the IRC saw it happening, let it happen, it’s not like anybody warned Zoe, and shit, I’m having the cherry-picking argument! They got me! You see how tempting it is? But presumably the reason you brought the harassment up is because you want them to do something about it. At the very least, leave the movement, but ideally try and stop it. They don’t, strictly speaking, need to feel personally responsible to do that. And you might be thinking, well, maybe if I can get them take responsibility then they’ll do something, but you’d be falling for a different technique I call I Hate Mondays.

This is where people will acknowledge a terrible thing is happening, maybe even agree it’s bad, but they don’t believe anything can be done about it. They also don’t believe you believe anything can be done about it. Mondays suck, but they come around every week. This is never stated outright, but it’s why you’re arguing past each other. To them, the only reason to talk about the bad thing is to assign blame. Whose turn is it to get shit on for the unsolvable problem? Their argument about cherry-picking amounts to “1-2-3 not it.” And they are furious with you for trying to make them responsible for harassment they didn’t participate in.

The unspoken argument is that harassment is part of being on the internet. Every public figure deals with it. This ignores any concept of scale - why does one person get harassed more than another? - but you can’t argue with someone who views it as a binary: harassment either happens or it doesn’t, and, if it does, it’s a fact of life, and, if it happens to everyone, it’s not gendered. And this is not a strongly-held belief they’ve come to after years of soul-searching - this is what they’ve just decided they believe. They want to participate in GamerGate despite knowing its purpose, and this is what would need to be true for that to be ok.

Or maybe they’re just fucking with you! Maybe you can’t tell. Maybe they can’t tell, either. I call this one The Card Says Moops, where people say whatever they feel will score points in an argument and are so irony-poisoned they have no idea whether they actually believe it. A very useful trick if the thing you appear to believe is unconscionable. You can’t take what people like that say at face value; you can only intuit their beliefs from their actions. They say they believe this one minute and that another, but their behavior is always in accordance with that, not this.

In the negative space, their belief is, “The harassment of these women is okay. My anger about video games is more important. I may not be harassing them myself, but they do kind of deserve it.” They will never say this out loud in a serious conversation, though many will say it in an anonymous or irreverent space where they can later deny they meant it. But, whatever they say they believe, this is the worldview they are operating under.

Obscuring this means flipping through a lot of contradictory arguments. The harassment is being faked, or it’s not being faked but it’s being exaggerated, or it’s not being exaggerated but the target is provoking it to get attention, which means GamerGate harassers simultaneously don’t exist, exist in small numbers, and exist in such large numbers someone can build a career out of relying on them! It can be kind of fun to take all these arguments made in isolation and try to string together an actual position. Like, GamerGate would argue that Nathan Grayson having previously mentioned Zoe Quinn in an article about a canceled reality show counts as positive coverage, and since Grayson reached out to Quinn for comment it’s reasonable to assume they started dating before the article was published (which is earlier than they claim), and positive coverage did lead to greater popularity for Depression Quest. But if you untangle that, it’s like… okay, you’re saying Zoe Quinn slept with a journalist in exchange for four nonconsecutive sentences that said no more than “Zoe Quinn exists and made a game,” and the price of those four sentences was to date the journalist for months, all to get rich off a game that didn’t cost any money. That’s your movement?

And some, if cornered, would say, “yes, we believe women are just that shitty, that one would fuck a guy for months if it made them the tiniest bit more famous.” But they won’t lead with that. Because they know it won’t convince the normies, even the ones who want to be convinced. So they use a process I call The Ship of Theseus to, piece by piece, turn that sentence into “slept with a journalist in exchange for a good review” and argue that each part of the sentence is technically accurate. It’s trying to lie without lying. And, provided all the pieces of this sentence are discussed separately, and only in the context of how they justify this sentence, you can trick yourself into believing this sentence is mostly true.

So, like, why? This is clearly motivated reasoning; what’s the motivation? What was this going to accomplish?

The answer is nothing. Nothing, by design. GamerGate’s “official” channels - the subreddit and the handful of forums that didn’t shut them down - were rigidly opposed to any action more organized than an email campaign. They had a tiny handful of tangible demands - they wanted gaming websites to post public ethics policies and had a list of people they wanted fired - but their larger aim was the sea change in how games journalism operated, which nothing they were asking for could possibly give them. The kind of anger that convinces you this is a true statement is not going to be addressed by a few paragraphs about ethics and Leigh Alexander getting a new job. They wanted gaming sites to stop catering to women and “SJWs” - who were a sizable and growing source of traffic - and to get out of the pockets of companies that advertised on their websites - which was their primary source of income. So all Kotaku had to do to make them happy was solve capitalism!

Meanwhile, the unofficial channels, like 8chan and Baphomet, were planning op after op to get private information, spread lies with fake accounts, get disinformation trending, make people quit jobs, cancel gigs, and flee their homes. Concrete goals with clear results. All you had to do to feel productive was go rogue. In my video,

How to Radicalize a Normie, I describe how the Alt-Right encourages lone wolf behavior by whipping people up into a rage and then refusing to give them anything to do, while surrounding them with examples of people taking matters into their own hands. The same mechanism is in play here: the public-facing channels don’t condone harassment but also refuse to fight it, the private channels commit it under cover of anonymity, and there is a free flow of traffic between them for when the official channels’ impotence becomes unbearable.

What I hope I’m illustrating is how these techniques play off of each other, how they create a closed ecosystem that rational thought cannot enter. There’s a phrase we use on the internet that got thrown around a lot at the time:

you can’t logic someone out of a position they didn’t logic themselves into.

Now, there are a few other big topics I think are relevant here, so I want to go through them one by one.

MEMEIFICATION

So a lot of interactions with GamerGate would involve a very insular knowledge base.

Like, you’d say something benign but progressive on Twitter.

A gater would show up in your mentions and say something aggressive and false.

You’d correct them. But then they’d come back and hit you with -

ah shit, sorry, this is a Loss meme.

If I were in front of a classroom I’d ask, show of hands, how many of you got that? I had to ask Twitter recently, does Gen Z know about Loss?!

If you don’t know what Loss is I’m not sure I can explain it to you. It’s this old, bad webcomic that was parodied so, so, so many times

that it was reduced to its barest essentials, to the point where any four panels with shapes in this arrangement is a Loss meme. For those of you in the know, you will recognize this anywhere, but have you ever tried to explain to someone who wasn’t in the know why this is really fuckin’ funny?

So, now… by the same process that this is a comics joke,

this is a rape joke.

I’m not gonna show the original image, but, once upon a time, someone made an animated GIF of the character Piccolo from Dragon Ball Z graphically raping Vegeta. 4chan loved it so much that it got posted daily, became known as the “daily dose,” until mods started deleting every incident of it. So they uploaded slightly edited version of it. Then they started uploading other images that had been edited with Piccolo’s color scheme. It got so abstracted that eventually any collection of purple and green pixels would be recognized as Piccolo Dick.

Apropos of nothing, GamerGate is a movement that insists it is not sexist in nature and it does not condone threats of rape against the women they don’t like. And this is their logo. This is their mascot.

If you’re familiar with the Daily Dose, the idea that GamerGate would never support Eron Gjoni if they believed he was a sexual abuser is so blatantly insincere it’s insulting… but imagine trying to explain to someone who’s not on 4chan how this sweater is a rape joke. Imagine having to explain it to a journalist. Imagine having to explain it to the judge enforcing your abuser’s restraining order.

Reactionaries use meme culture not just because they’re terminally online but also because it makes their behavior seem either benign or just confusing to outsiders. They find it hilarious that they can be really explicit and still fly under the radar. The Alt-Right did this with Pepe the Frog, the OK sign, even the milk glass emoji for a hot minute. The more inexplicable the meme, the better. You get the point where Stephen Miller is flashing Nazi signs from the White House and the Presidential re-eletion campaign is releasing 88 ads of exactly 14 words and there’s still a debate about whether the administration is racist. Because journalists aren’t going to get their heads around that. You tell them “1488 is a Nazi number,” it’s gonna seem a lot more plausible that you’re making shit up.

MOVE FAST AND BREAK THINGS

Online movements like GamerGate move at a speed and mutation rate too high for the mainstream world to keep up. And not just that they don’t understand the memes - they don’t understand the infrastructure.

In an attempt to cover GamerGate evenhandedly, George Wiedman of Super Bunnyhop interviewed a lawyer who specializes in journalistic ethics. He meant well; I really wish he hadn’t. You can see him trying to fit something like GamerGate into terms this silver-haired man who works in copyright law can understand. At one point he asks if it’s okay to fund the creative project of a potential journalistic source, to which the guy understandably says “no.”

What he’s alluding to here is the harassment of Jenn Frank. A few weeks into GamerGate, Jenn Frank writes a piece in The Guardian about sexism in tech that mentions Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn. In another case of “here’s a strongly-held belief I just decided I have,” GamerGate says this is a breach of journalistic ethics because Frank backs Quinn on Patreon. They harass her so intensely she not only has to quit her job at The Guardian, for several months she quits journalism entirely.

Off the bat, calling a public figure central to a major event in the field a “journalistic source” is flatly wrong-headed. Quinn was not interviewed or even contacted for the article, they were in no way a “source”; they were a subject. But I want to talk about this phrase, “fund a creative project.” Patreon is functionally a subscription; it’s a way of buying things. It’s technically accurate that Frank is funding Quinn’s creative project, but only in the sense that you are funding Bob Dylan’s creative project if you listen to his music. And saying Frank therefore can’t write about Quinn is like saying a music journalist can’t cover a Bob Dylan concert if they’ve ever bought his albums.

And we could talk about the ways that Patreon, as compared with other funding models, can create a greater sense of intimacy, and we also could comment that, well, that’s how an increasing number of people consume media now, so that perspective should be present in journalism. But maybe it means we should cover that perspective differently? I don’t know. It’s an interesting subject. But none of that’s going on in this conversation because this guy doesn’t know what Patreon is. It was only a year old at this point. Patreon’s been a primary source of my income for 5 years and my parents still don’t know what it is. (I think they think I’m a freelancer?) This guy hears “funding a creative project” and he’s thinking an investor, someone who makes a profit off the source’s success.

The language of straight society hasn’t caught up with what’s happening, and that works in GamerGate’s favor.

In the years since GamerGate we have dozens of stories of people trying to explain Twitter harassment to a legal system that’s never heard of Twitter. People trying to explain death threats to cops whose only relationship to the internet is checking email, confusedly asking, “Why don’t you just not go online?” Like, yeah, release your text game about depression at GameStop for the PS3 and get it reviewed in the Boston Globe, problem solved.

You see this in the slowness of mainstream journalists to condemn the harassment - hell, even games journalists at first. Because what if it is a legitimate movement? What if the harassers are just a fringe element? What if there was misconduct? The people in a position to stop GamerGate don’t have to be convinced of their legitimacy, they just have to hesitate. They just have to be unsure. Remember how much happened in just the first two weeks, how it took only a month to become unkillable.

It’s the same hesitance that makes mainstream media, online platforms, and law enforcement underestimate The Alt-Right. They’re terrified of condemning a group as white nationalist terrorists because they’re confused, and what if they’re wrong? Or, in most cases, not even afraid they’re wrong, but afraid of the PR disaster if too much of the world thinks they’re wrong.

ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONTROL

A thing I’ve talked about in The Alt-Right Playbook is how these decentralized, ostensibly leaderless movements insulate themselves from responsibility. Harassment is never the movement’s fault because they never told anyone to harass and you can’t prove the harassers are legitimate members of the movement. The Alt-Right does this too - one of their catchphrases is “I disavow.” Since there are no formalized rules for membership, they can redraw boundaries on the fly; they can take credit for any successes and deny responsibility for any wrongdoing. Public membership is granted or revoked based on a person’s moment-to-moment utility.

It’s almost like… they’re cherry-picking.

The flipside of this is a lack of control. Since they never officially tell anyone to do anything but write emails, they have no means of stopping anyone from behaving counterproductively. The harassment of Jenn Frank was the first time GamerGate’s originators thought, “maybe we should ease off just to avoid bad publicity,” and they found they couldn’t. GamerGate had gotten too big, and too many people were clearly there for precisely this reason.

They also couldn’t control the infighting. When your goal is to harass women and you have all these contradictory justifications for why, you end up with a lot of competing beliefs. And, you know what? Angry white men who like harassing people don’t form healthy relationships! Several prominent members of GamerGate - including Internet Aristocrat - got driven out by factionalism; they were doxxed by their own people! Jordan Owen and Davis Aurini parted ways hating each other, with Aurini releasing chatlogs of him gaslighting Owen about accepting an endorsement from Roosh, and they released two competing edits of The Sarkeesian Effect.

I say this because it’s useful to know that these are alliances of convenience. If you know where the sore spots are, you can apply pressure to them.

LEADERS WITHOUT LEADERSHIP

One way movements like GamerGate deflect responsibility is by declaring, “We are a leaderless movement! We have no means to stop harassment.”

Which… any anarchist will tell you collective action is entirely possible without leaders. But they’ll also tell you, absent a system of distributing power equitably, you’re gonna have leaders, just not ones you elected.

A few months into GamerGate, Randi Lee Harper created the ggautoblocker. Here’s what it did: it took five prominent GamerGate figures - Adam Baldwin, Mike Cernovich, Christina Hoff Sommers, Milo Yiannopoulos, and Nick Monroe, formerly known as [sigh] PressFartToContinue - and generated a block list of everyone who followed at least two of them on Twitter. Now, this became something of an arms race; once GamerGate found out about it they made secondary accounts that followed different people, and more and more prominent figures appeared and had to get added to the list. But, when it first launched, the list generated from just these five people comprised an estimated 90-95% of GamerGate.

Hate to break it to you, guys, but if 90+ percent of your movement is following at least two of the same five people, those are your leaders. The attention economy has produced them. Power pools when left on its own.

This is another case where you have to ignore what people claim and look at what they do. The Alt-Right loves to say “we disavow Richard Spencer” and “Andrew Anglin doesn’t speak for us.”

But no matter what they say, pay attention to whom they’re taking cues from.

AD CAMPAIGN

George Lakoff has observed that one way the Left fails in opposition to the Right is that most liberal politicians and campaigners have degrees in things like law and political science, where conservative campaigners more often have degrees in advertising and communications. Liberals and leftists may have a better product to sell, but conservatives know how to sell products.

GamerGate less resembles a boots-on-the-ground political movement than an ad campaign. First they decide what their messaging strategy is going to be. Then the media arm starts publicizing it. They seek out celebrity endorsements. They get their own hashtag and mascot. They donate to charity and literally call it “public relations.” You can even see the move from The Quinnspiracy to GamerGate as a rebranding effort - when one name got too closely associated with harassment, they started insisting GamerGate was an entirely separate movement from The Quinnspiracy. I learned that trick from Stringer Bell’s economics class.

Now, we could stand to learn a thing or two from this. But I also wouldn’t want us to adopt this strategy whole hog; you should view moves like these as red flags. If you’re hesitating to condemn a movement because what if it’s legitimate, take a look at whether they’re selling ideology like it’s Pepsi.

PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING

One reason to insist you’re a consumer revolt rather than a harassment campaign is most people who want to harass need someone to give them permission, and need someone to tell them it’s normal.

Bob Altemeyer has this survey he uses to study authoritarianism. He divides respondents into people with low, average, and high authoritarian sentiments, and then tells them what the survey has measured and asks, “what score do you think is best to have: low, average, or high?”

People with low authoritarian sentiments say it’s best to be low. People with average authoritarian sentiments also say it’s best to be low. But people with high authoritarian sentiments? They say it’s best to be average. Altemeyer finds, across all his research, that reactionaries want to aggress, but only if it is socially acceptable. They want to know they are the in-group and be told who the out-group is. They don’t particularly care who the out-group is, Altemeyer finds they’ll aggress against any group an authority figure points to, even, if they don’t notice it, a group that contains them. They just have to believe the in-group is the norm.

This is why they have to believe games journalism is corrupt because of a handful of feminist media critics with outsized influence. Legitimate failures of journalism cannot be systemic problems rooted in how digital media is funded and consumed; there cannot be a legitimate market for social justice-y media. It has to be manipulation by the few. Because, if these things are common, then, even if you don’t like them, they’re normal. They’re part of the in-group. Reactionary politics is rebellion against things they dislike getting normalized, because they know, if they are normalized, they will have to accept them. Because the thing they care about most is being normal.

This is why the echo chamber, this is why Fox News, this is why the Far Right insists they are the “silent majority.” This is why they artificially inflate their numbers. This is why they insist facts are “biased.” They have to maintain the image that what are, in material terms, fringe beliefs are, in fact, held by the majority. This is why getting mocked by Stephen Colbert was such a blow to GamerGate. It makes it harder to believe the world at large agrees with them.

This is why, if you’re trying to change the world for the better, it’s pointless to ask their permission. Because, if you change the world around them, they will adapt even faster than you will.

THE ARGUMENT ISN’T SUPPOSED TO END

Casey Explosion has this really great Twitter thread comparing the Alt-Right to Scary Terry from Rick and Morty. His catchphrase is “you can run but you can’t hide, bitch.” And Rick and Morty finally escape him by hiding. And Morty’s all, “but he said we can’t hide,” and Rick is like, “why are we taking his word on this? if we could hide, he certainly wouldn’t tell us.”

The reason to argue with a GamerGater is on the implied agreement that, if you can convince them they’re part of a hate mob, they will leave. But look at the incentives here: they want to be in GamerGate, and you want them not to be. But they’re already in GamerGate. They’re not waiting on the outcome of this argument to participate. They’ve already got what they want; they don’t need to convince you GamerGate isn’t a hate mob.

This is why all their logic and rationalizations are shit, because they don’t need to be good. They’re not trying to win an argument. They’re trying to keep the argument going.

This has been a precept of conservative political strategy for decades. “You haven’t convinced us climate change is real and man-made, you need to do more studies.” They’re not pausing the use of fossil fuels until the results come in. “You haven’t convinced us there are no WMDs in Iraq, you need to collect more evidence.” They’re not suspending the war until you get back to them. “You haven’t convinced us that Reaganomic tax policy causes recessions, let’s just do it for another forty years and see what happens.” And when the proof comes in, they send us out for more, and we keep going.

The biggest indicator you can’t win a debate with a reactionary is they keep telling you you can. The biggest indicator protest and deplatforming works is they keep telling you in plays into their hands. The biggest indicator that you shouldn’t compromise with Republicans is they keep saying doing otherwise is stooping to their level. They’re not going to walk into the room and say, “Hi, my one weakness is reasoned argument, let’s pick a time and place to hash this out.”

And we fall for it because we’re trying to be decent people. Because we want to believe the truth always wins. We want to bargain in good faith, and they are weaponizing our good faith against us. Always dangling the carrot that the reason they’re like this is no one’s given them the right argument not to be. It’s all just a misunderstanding, and, really, it’s on us for not trying hard enough.

But they have no motivation to agree with us. Most of the people asking for debates have staked their careers on disagreeing with us. Conceding any point to the Left could cost them their livelihood.

WHY GAMES?

Let’s close with the big question: why games? And, honestly, the short answer is:

why not games?

Games culture has always presented itself as a hobby for young, white, middle class boys. It’s always been bigger and more diverse than that, but that’s how it was marketed, and that’s who most felt they belonged. As gaming grows bigger, there is suddenly room for those marginal voices that have always been there to make themselves heard. And, as gaming becomes more mainstream, it’s having its first brushes with serious critical analysis.

This makes the people who have long felt gaming was theirs and theirs alone anxious and a little angry. They’ve invested a lot of their identity in it and they don’t want it to change.

And what the Far Right sees in a sizable collection of aggrieved young men is an untapped market. This is why sites like Stormfront and Breitbart flocked to them. These are not liberals they have to convert, these people are, up til now, not politically engaged. The Right can be their first entry to politics.

The world was changing. Nerd properties were exploding into popular culture in tandem with media representation diversifying. And we were living with the first Black President. Any time an out-group looks like it might join the in-group, there is a self-protective backlash from the existing in-group. This had been brewing for a while, and, honestly, if it hadn’t boiled over in games, it would have boiled over somewhere else.

And, in the years since GamerGate, it has. The Far Right has tapped the comics, Star Wars, and sci-fi fandoms; they tried to get in with the furry community but failed spectacularly. They’re all over YouTube and, frankly, the atheist community was already in their pocket. Basically, if you’re in community with a bunch of young white guys who think they own the place, you might wanna have some talks with them sooner than later.

Anyway, if you want to know more about any of this stuff, RationalWiki’s timeline on GamerGate is pretty thorough. You can also watch my or Dan Olson’s videos on the subject. I’ll be putting the audio of this talk on YouTube and will put as many resources as I can in the show notes. The channel, again, is Innuendo Studios.

Sorry this was such a bummer.

Thank you for your time.