#which is really not fucking safe at all but whatever i get it theres not much else to do here

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut

Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn

Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)

And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like

The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina

He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad

Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)

And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but

it starts with junior

It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior

The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards

This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya

Anyways

Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans

He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins

Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving

Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely

As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother

Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action

Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category

Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well

The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,

Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character

Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action

But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love

Enter part two: the alien quest giver

“Wait wasnt that huggins”

NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,

The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity

The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword

And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)

And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot

Locus

Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!

He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”

Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are

[vamptastic]

FUCK i can't believe i forgot abt going to a drag show in boston... missed opportunity

[stevie-petey]

moron

I own you.  The words practically drip from your rose coated lips, meant only for Steve, and he knows he’s lost.  “Yeah, whatever.” And it’s agreed. Come this Saturday, you and Steve will be working together. No one else, just the two of you, for eight long, maddening hours. 

Summary: steve really hates his coworker, but you know who he hates even more ? your shitty ex boyfriend (who he just so happens to share jacket preferences with)

Rating: general, violence, lots of swearing

Warnings: allusions to abuse, use of bitch as derogatory language towards women, shitty ex boyfriend, violence, enemies to lovers (more friends), fem!reader, use of y/n

Words: 3.9k

Before you swing in: hey gang !! long time no stevie blurb, so here yall go <3 please, read the warnings for this one. theres a really shitty character in this and he may be triggering, so please be safe.

-

Steve doesn’t consider himself a bad guy.

Sure, he had the whole “King Steve” stint back in high school where he was an asshole to everyone, but he chooses to ignore those four years of his life. They were a brief lapse of judgment. 

A very long, brief lapse of judgment. But whatever.

The point is that Steve opens the door for strangers. He greets everyone with a smile and a polite nod of his head. When Robin forgets her lunch at work, Steve always gives her his. He walks his neighbor’s dog, he offers to carry groceries for the elderly. Hell, he even waves at babies. 

By all accounts, Steve would consider himself a goddamn saint. 

Except when it comes to you. 

Steve isn’t holding open any fucking doors for you and if you ever asked him to walk your dog, he’d laugh in your face. The moment you stepped foot in Family Video for your first shift, you made Steve’s life a living hell. He doesn’t know why or how you manage to dig so deep under his skin, but he’s convinced you do it on purpose. 

The movies you stack on the shelf always somehow manage to land on Steve’s head. The jokes you make with Robin are always at his expense. You never clock in on time, extending his shift by one more minute every goddamn time. The way you laugh pierces Steve’s skull, the sound rings in his ears and blinds his senses long enough to feel nauseous. 

Steve likes everyone, he isn’t a hard guy to please, but he truly, deeply, hates you. 

“Y/N wanted me to ask if you’d cover her shift this weekend,” Robin scans a beat up copy of Grease, trying to feign indifference as she brings the topic up. She absolutely doesn’t want to be doing this, she knows that any mention of you to Steve makes his eye twitch, but you called her crying and Robin is far too sympathetic for her own good. 

Predictably, Steve’s eye twitches and he snatches the movie from his coworker. “What, did she fall and hit her head this morning?” He scoffs, he can’t believe you even thought he’d consider the idea. “She knows I’d rather her show up with a broken arm and matching black eye to work before ever covering her shift.”

“Okay, that’s psychotically cruel. You know that, right?” Robin scans another movie and shakes her head. Steve hates you, she gets that, and while she doesn’t understand why, she also doesn’t like how much of an asshole he is about it. You’re her friend, too. Robin really likes you. 

“Good, I meant for it to be.”

“Steve, she’s going through a hard time right now–”

“No, I don’t wanna hear it, alright? I don’t care if her grandma died and left her an orphan,” the sound of the bell above Family Video’s front door rings, but Steve is too lost in his rant to hear it. “There’s no way in hell I’m ever, ever helping that demonic witch of a human being.”

Robin’s eyes widen and she tries to cover the teen’s mouth, hissing his name, but Steve bats her hand away and keeps going. “Y/N is a fucking moron for thinking otherwise, and that’s her problem. I mean, I know she’s your friend, which I still don’t know how she even managed to do that, but–”

“Steve!” Again Robin tries to get her friend to stop talking, but Steve is on a roll now. He’s fired up, tired of biting his tongue for the last six months. 

“She makes me want to physically tear my skin off and shove it down my throat every time she opens her mouth. And I’m being nice right now. I mean, I will gladly say this all to her tiny, annoying face–”

“Oh, you would?”

Immediately Steve’s voice dies and his words fall down upon his shoulders. He doesn’t dare turn around. He’s frozen. He’s convinced himself that if he doesn’t move then he can linger in the remaining few seconds where he hasn’t just said all those horrendous things with you standing right behind him. 

Robin drops her head onto the counter and groans. “You’re an idiot, Harrington.”

“Well, are you going to turn around?” Your breath almost fans Steve’s neck, you’ve walked up to him. He can practically envision the curl in your eyebrows whenever you get angry. An expression Steve has become familiar with. 

He gulps, still refusing to turn around. “You know, I really don’t think I can turn around.” His legs shake. Steve doesn’t think he’s ever fucked up this horribly before, and he’s fucked up a lot in his life. 

“Robin,” you turn your attention to her, the edge in your voice is the only indication of your anger. “Please inform our coworker that it’s inappropriate to use that language in a workplace, and please also inform him that I will no longer be needing him to cover my shift.”

“You… Don’t?” Robin looks between you and Steve. He still hasn’t looked at you yet, his face stares straight as if he’s trying to somehow disintegrate. You, however, face her with a steely look in your eyes, which surprises her. She thought there’d be more heartbreak in them. “I-I mean, are you sure? All things considered…”

“I’m fine.” The way you say it leaves no room for arguments. It’s already been decided, and Robin knows not to try and reason with you. She deflates, and you’re pleased with this. Even though her sympathy is unneeded, you can use it to your advantage. You’re going to make Steve pay. “In fact, I think you should inform our coworker that he’s covering your shift this weekend.”

Robin chokes on her spit, startled, while Steve finally turns to face you. “I’m sorry?”

“Aw, it’s okay, Harrington.” You pat his chest, albeit with more force than probably necessary, which he huffs at. “But I think the apology will work even better after spending some quality time together.”

You’re going to spend the entire eight hour shift making Steve’s life hell on earth. And he knows it.

“But–” 

“Say, Robin. What’s the company policy on harassment of employees?” You tap your finger against your chin with a menacing smile on your face. You’re enjoying this, and Steve hates you even more for that. “Doesn’t it say something about verbal insults?”

Steve sends the girl a pleading glance, begging her not to respond, but she can only shake her head at him. He’s the one who couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut. Sighing, Robin nods. “Yeah, it does.”

“I thought it did! Thanks, Buckley.” You wink at her before facing Steve again. He almost flinches at the coldness in your eyes. He’s so, so fucked. “Harrington, I’m sure you simply forgot, and I’m sure I can let bygones be bygones after you cover our dear friend’s shift. Yeah?”

I own you. 

The words practically drip from your rose coated lips, meant only for Steve, and he knows he’s lost. 

“Yeah, whatever.”

And it’s agreed. Come this Saturday, you and Steve will be working together. No one else, just the two of you, for eight long, maddening hours. 

–

When Steve arrives at work Saturday, you’ve already clocked in. 

He finds you sitting at the cash register, looking over the shipment for tomorrow. Sundays are the restock days, and the lists of orders are a pain in the ass to get through. It can take hours, sometimes even days, to comb through. When you see Steve walk in, you give him an icy smile. “Oh, perfect timing!” 

“We’re supposed to get here at eight.”

“And being early never hurt anyone.” Although you’re never early, you’re always late, and both of you know this. You scratch something off from the list, eyes never leaving Steve, and he can’t help but feel that the rough scratch of the pen is meant to symbolize his face. 

“What do you want?” Steve is too tired to play your games. He recognizes that he was a grade A asshole to you a few days ago, but this is going too far. 

You flick your hair behind your shoulder and straighten your posture. The gesture casts a cloud of a sickly sweet pomegranate scent over to Steve, causing him to sneeze violently. He’s always hated the perfume you wear. Smiling at the desired effect, you finally shove the restock lists towards him. “I need you to start sorting through next week’s orders.”

Steve looks at the lists and nearly cries. There’s at least thirty pages in the stack, doubled sided, with five columns and fifty rows. This is the largest shipment order he’s ever seen since working at Family Video, he can’t even believe it’s real.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Nope!” You hop down from the counter and walk over to the cart of returned movies. “Now, I’d get started if I were you. You know how much Keith hates it when we don’t get Sunday’s orders in on time.”

Your figure disappears behind a shelf of movies and Steve pretends to strangle you with his bare hands. You planned this. He doesn’t know how, but you did. If he didn’t have a reason to hate you so much, now he does. 

Hours pass by, you don’t at all speak to Steve as he labors over the shipments. Family Video requires the employees to manually input all the orders into the computer to send to the supply chain. The process alone is impractical and takes longer than it should, but pair that with the shitty computers that Keith refuses to upgrade, it makes Steve contemplate running into the road. The browser crashes three separate times. At one point he loses track of which movie he’d been on and has to restart an entire row at number forty-three.

It’s the worst fucking five hours of Steve’s entire life.

Meanwhile, all you do those five hours is browse through some online catalog on the other computer and help a total of two customers who come in. 

By the time Steve has finally finished inputting everything, words float around his vision and he can feel the beginning stages of a headache forming. The pressure sits right behind his left eye, dull and throbbing. 

All because he couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut.

Steve should really learn to listen to Robin. 

“Are you all done?” You materialize next to Steve, startling him and he lets out an embarrassing shriek, which you snicker at. “Wow, Harrington. You’re really tense today.”

He rolls his eyes and steps away from you. “Gee, I wonder why.”

“Yeah, who knows!” Steve glares at you and you smile right back at him. “Anyways, since you finished up so fast, why don’t you sort through the backorders next? It shouldn’t take you that long.”

The backorders. 

Steve wants to fucking scream.

The backorders are all the movies that the store can’t input into the system. They’re orders that get messed up, misplaced, and abandoned in Keith’s disgusting office. The pile of discarded movies has grown so large that it rivals Steve’s height and build. It’s its own entity at this point. A terrifying, breakdown inducing entity. 

You’re a fucking evil genius. 

But if Steve even looks at the backorders, he thinks he might actually murder you. 

“No,” he crosses his arms, trying to look more dignified and intimidating than he really feels. Awkwardly placing his weight on his left foot, he purposely ducks his head down to emphasize how much taller he is than you. “No way in hell am I going through the backorders.”

“I wonder what Keith would say when I tell him all the wonderful things you said about me on Wednesday,” you step forward, angling your head up to get a better look at Steve. You want him to see all the hatred you have for him in your eyes. 

What he said about you hurt. There’s no other way to put it. His words had been venom upon your skin, searing the flesh as it left a nasty scar. The wound has festered ever since, making your already shitty week even worse. 

Steve had called you “fucking moron”. Just like he had. 

“Oh, screw company policy and whatever that asshole Keith says!” Steve doesn’t care anymore if he has a job by the end of today. He’s had enough of your shitty mind games and power plays. He may have been a dick, but he doesn’t deserve any of this, either. The strenuous labor and migraines. “I’m done, alright? You’re being such a–”

“Bitch?” A gruff voice chuckles, interrupting. Steve, surprised to hear another male voice in the store, quickly turns around. 

The guy is tall, taller than Steve. That’s the first thing he notices. Then he notices the cold blue of his eyes and the way your entire body freezes in fear when you see him. Steve moves your body behind his, unconsciously putting you out of harm’s way, protecting you from whoever the hell this guy is in front of him. It’s instinctual, he doesn’t hesitate.

Who the fuck does this guy think he is, calling you a bitch?

“I would never call her that,” Steve squares his shoulders, putting ice into his words as he does so. He wouldn’t. He was going to call you a child. Steve would never call a woman a bitch, his mother raised him better than that and Robin would hit him if he ever did.

The guy laughs again. “You sure about that, buddy?”

“Jack,” Steve almost doesn’t hear you, you’re barely audible. He’s never heard your voice so soft before, so weak and scared; he decides he never, ever wants to be the cause of this voice. “You can’t be here.”

“Says who? I don’t see anybody kickin’ me out.” The guy, Jack, shrugs indifferently. He stuffs his hands into his jacket, it’s made of a nice, suede material that Steve is ashamed to admit he’d wear himself. “I wanted to see you, sweetheart.”

Jack tries to step closer to you, but Steve blocks him. “Funny, I thought she was a bitch?”

“Bitch, sweetheart, easy fuck, fucking moron.” Jack laughs, only this time it’s cruel. “It’s all the same when it comes to Y/N.”

Fucking moron.

Steve had said the same about you. A heavy weight of shame crushes his chest. He should’ve never called you such a cruel name. He knows that, now. 

“Don’t fucking talk about her like that,” Steve sneers, hand now coming around your arm as if terrified Jack will pull you away from him. “What the hell is your problem, man?”

“Why don’t you mind your own business? This is a conversation between me and the sweetheart over here.” Jack tries to reach for you again, but Steve shoves the guy away. He stumbles back, a wicked smile on his face. “Oh, the pretty boy can fight?”

“Steve,” You finally speak again, trying to shove yourself between the two men. The room grows hot and you don’t want anyone getting hurt. Not here, not with Steve. “Just leave it alone, walk away–”

Only Jack grabs your arm and viciously pulls, causing a pained yelp to escape you. A nerve pinches in your shoulder, he sends your body flying forward. His grip is harsh, it will leave bruises tomorrow, and you’re weak against him. Fear chokes you, he always does this.

“Don’t touch her.” Steve’s fist collides with Jack’s face, starbursts of pain explode in his wrist but he doesn’t care. All he sees is red now. Jack hurt you. He caused you to cry out in pain. Steve punches him again, the sound of pain you made rings in his ears, turns his blood cold and his anger boiling hot. 

Jack recovers from the punches quickly and he raises his fist, but you try to get him away from Steve. “Stop!” 

The fist comes down, you brace for impact, helpless against it, but the sound of skin hitting skin is all you’re met with. You open your eyes, Jack’s fist is in Steve’s palm. Stunned, Jack is too slow to pull away before Steve wraps his arm around his and twists it behind his back. The muscles strain, the ligament cries in pain as Jack’s arm is pulled dangerously far back. 

“Fuck!” Jack screams, contorting his body desperately to get out of the death lock he’s in. 

“You’re going to leave,” Steve hisses into his ear, “and you’re going to never, ever come back. If you even look at Y/N again I swear,” he mercilessly pulls even harder on Jack’s arm, the bone threatens to snap, but he doesn’t care. “I will break every bone in your fucking body.”

And with that, Steve finally releases Jack, who crashes pathetically to the ground. The moment he’s freed, he scrambles to his feet and cradles his sprained arm. He’s panting, no longer the confident and arrogant asshole he once was when he walked into Family Video ten minutes prior.

“Fuck you,” Jack spits out at Steve, but he’s already walking backwards towards the door to leave. “That bitch isn’t worth it, anyways.”

The door slams closed. 

Silence fills the void that the violence left behind. 

Steve shakes out his wrist, wringing out the pain from the punches. His knuckles are red, raw, bruising with every passing second. He brings the injured hand closer to inspect it, wincing at the inflamed skin. 

“You’re hurt.”

Your eyes linger on the blood that leaks from his knuckles. The skin has split, but the pain that the nerve endings scream over soothes Steve. He shakes his hand out again as he shakes his head at you. “I’m fine.”

But you don’t believe him.

Carefully, slowly, you bring your uninjured hand over Steve’s injured one. Your touch is gentle, hesitant. The pads of your fingers skim over the bruising that litters Steve’s skin. “I’m sorry.” 

“Hey, no.” Steve pulls his hand away, he doesn’t like what the image of his injury is doing to you. He’s not used to your tenderness, the sympathy you blanket him with. Besides, he isn’t the only one who got hurt. Steve instead brings your hand up, holding your wrist delicately as he sucks in a breath seeing the bruises Jack left. “You didn’t deserve any of that.”

You don’t say anything. 

Steve kisses the damaged skin, he feels you shiver beneath his lips. He isn’t sure why he does it, he just knows that he wishes he could physically remove the burn of the bruises from your memory. 

Minutes pass, the silence is all that is spoken. 

Eventually the two of you get back to work. There’s still two more hours before either of you can leave, even if the thought of staying in the store suffocates you. No other customers come in. It’s just you and Steve, matching bruises to keep you guys company. 

When four in the afternoon comes along, Steve clocks both of you out and locks the store up. He doesn’t let you do a single thing. He insists on having you sit by the window as he finishes the last restock orders and closes the door. His hand softly guides you outside, lingering on your waist as he locks the store’s doors for the night. 

“Alright, well…” Steve clears his throat. He doesn’t know what else to say to you. “Guess I’ll just, you know, leave–”

“Please don’t leave me alone.”

His breath catches. You stare up at him, eyes wide with fear and vulnerability and despair. “I…”

“Please,” you can’t walk home alone. Not tonight. Not after everything that happened today. “I just…”

Without saying anything, Steve’s hand finds yours, and he walks you to his car. He opens the door for you, closes it softly behind you once you get in. He gets into his own seat, turns the radio on and fiddles with the stations until he finds the one he knows you like. Every time you have a shift together, you play the same station and sing along to all your favorite songs.

It used to drive Steve insane.

Now he’s relieved he can do this one thing for you.

The drive is quiet. The only conversation that is made is mumbled directions to your house. It isn’t a far drive, but Steve takes his time anyways. He doesn’t know if you have anyone to go home to, he knows you haven’t stopped shaking quite yet. 

“Turn here,” your voice is hoarse from lack of use.

Steve listens, turns into a neighborhood he’s unfamiliar with. He thinks he’s nearing your home and he isn’t ready to let you go just yet. He knows you have to talk about what happened today. The bruises on his knuckles will fade, but the memory of Jack’s cruel words won’t. 

“So,” He clears his throat. He’s doing the right thing, he knows he is. “Jack. He was…?”

You’re quiet for several moments and Steve is afraid he’s ruined everything, pushed you too far, but eventually you respond. “Ex boyfriend. Broke up a week ago. He didn’t take it well.”

“I hate him.”

Despite the fatigue that weighs upon you and the dread that Jack will come back, you can’t help but laugh at what Steve has said. “Yeah, I guess I do, too.”

Silence falls again. Steve pulls into your driveway, he turns the car off, the headlights die, but neither one of you move. 

“You’re not, you know.”

You finally face Steve, confused as to what he’s referencing. “What?”

“You’re not a ‘fucking moron’. And you’re definitely not a bitch.” He clarifies, eyes meeting yours. You’re almost breathless by how brightly they shine with remorse. You’ve never known a man who felt such an emotion. “Jack is a dick, and so was I.”

“Steve…”

He doesn’t let you pity him. He knows what he did was wrong, the words that fell from his mouth about you will haunt him forever. Steve may not have liked you, but he didn’t have any right to say those things about you. “I really am sorry, Y/N.” 

There’s nothing to forgive.

Steve isn’t Jack. You know that, now. 

“It’s okay. I think I made you go through enough today, anyways.” You nudge his shoulder with yours, risking physical affection just this once. “First the restock orders and then defending my honor? I think we’re even.”

“I was pretty heroic, wasn’t I?” Steve tries to laugh, play along, but it’s bitter on his tongue. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive himself for how much he hurt you. 

Noticing his darkened expression, you poke Steve’s cheek. “Hey, you’re not allowed to brood. I’m the one whose crazy ex showed up at work today.” But it doesn’t work, he doesn’t laugh and you know he blames himself for everything. “Look at me, Steve.”

Night has fallen and the honey brown in Steve’s eyes resembles darkened ash. You place your hand on his, careful not to disturb his bruises. “I forgive you, but if you insist on being such an annoying jerk about it, then you can make it up to me by being my friend.”

“Your friend?” Steve doesn’t pull his hand away from yours, and it’s a start. 

“Yup, think you can handle that?” 

“‘Friends’,” he lets the word roll over his tongue. Tests it out, gets a feel for what it would be like to call you his friend. He thinks he likes the way it feels, the weight that accompanies it is one that settles his chest, soothes his wounds. “I guess I can be okay with that.”

He smiles at you, then, and you smile back.

You’re beautiful when you smile; warm, angelic.  

Steve doesn’t consider himself a bad guy, but by all accounts, he considers you a goddamn saint. 

-

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⌑ please feel free to like, reblog, and comment. i adore hearing from you guys :)

[larsthefishoil]

As I'm actively reflecting on the new hbomberguy video, but more specifically James Somerton, certain things are clicking into place with resounding clarity.

I've watched Somerton's videos for years. At first I thought he was kinda overly dramatic, and had outdated stances on how little lgbtq+ was seen in modern day. He always seemed to talk like we are still living in the danger of the 80s with staight/cis people's apathy and hatred. In truth the phobias have just shifted in how they present and things have genuinely improved in a sense.

But the thing that is actually getting to me rn is the misogyny thing. I think he actually injected really shitty thoughts into my brain that I absorbed like a fucking kitchen sponge. He's protectiveness over queer people but specifically gay men from "prevented white women" actually got to me. For over a year, I was walking around occasionally thinking about how "women are sneaking BL manga into their bedrooms and grotesquely drooling."- im not citing someone theres quoteation marks cause its a dumb thought. But i thought this because that's how bad Somerton made it seem.

But the thing that got me out of that head space was this video by talistheintrovert.

https://youtube.com/@talistheintrovert?si=vmpEa_TPP2UE9eQk - here's the link to her homepage on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/08pCrSBw5EY?si=bECaT_xC16IfN5TI - vid about Good Omens

https://youtu.be/zzSlRZhS_qY?si=unQzSbCQUaTqhSbv - Heartstopper vs. Only Friends

sorry for the ugly link I'm on mobile.

I forget their pronouns so I'm using they/them but I might be wrong. I watched a lot of their videos all at once, so a lot of their ideas interlinked between videos to connect points. But they frequently talked about how straight and queer people interact with queer media and the complexities that unfold. Their underlying message was always that an individual's sexuality doesn't matter when interacting with media when it comes to gatekeeping who gets to appreciate queer content. Still most people consuming are queer people, but straight cis people also benefit and that's okay, it's great even.

Talistheintrovert shooed away icky feelings of straight women fetishizing queer men, which was a fear I got from James Somerton!

Idk this is a long post, but hbomberguy's ending soliloquy about trying to find happiness kinda reminds me of the many countless queer YouTube channels- big and small. Most of us aren't clawing for the position of top dog and like Somerton and seem a lot happier dispit of everything going on nowadays.

Anyways, stay safe, be accepting, and cite your sources or else hbomberguy will have to crawl out of whatever hole he hides in for the better part of each year and make a five hour long video about you :/

[princessbrunette]

stepbro rafe teaching reader how to hold and shoot and be safe around a gun since theyre always around the house and he doesnt want her being unsafe!! like he has the glock out and going over the safety and reader is just totally dazed and looking at his hands while he does and he has to refocus her attention

this request is driving me crazy omg .

whenever ward is gone / presumed dead / actually dead or whatever he’s doing rafe gets crazily obsessed w being the ‘man of the house’ n ‘handling business’ and u can’t even fault him on that bc it’s so sexy hehe 🫶🏼

he’d approach you in his lil clean pressed shirt n slacks and sit you down like “theres some things i gotta teach you, alright? when you come from a… powerful family, there’s gonna be people that wanna take that from you. now, y’don’t have to get all scared alright, im protecting you—‘kay? but i want you to know…" he presses an unloaded pistol on your palm, letting you feel the weight of it. “…how to protect yourself if it ever comes down to it.”

so he drives you out to the forest where he’s set up targets, parks up his car and opens your door for you. the whole journey you were kinda jittery n scared bc you didn’t wanna shoot a gun, its too scary :(

“rafe, i don’t know. this is scary.”

“got nothing to be scared of, kid. im gonna help you out. s’my duty now, okay? im in charge now. i gotta look after you all.”

so u trust him ofc and he comes behind you and positions your arms and wraps his around yours, kicks your legs a little wider and suddenly ur a lil lightheaded n dazed because <33 ur step bro is just so strong n smart <33 can’t help pushing ur ass into his crotch just a little everytime he tells you ur doing a good job.

when he catches onto u being distracted n horny he just tsks, asks if you’re listening and tells u it’s important, but u get more and more bold, pushing ur ass into him more n getting all whiny n he just says fuck it and quickly dissembles the gun (which is really hot lol) and tucks it in his waistband before dragging you to the car so he can fuck u doggy style in the back seat :((

[tomwaterbabies]

this got long lol

so for hugo's bike, with it being steam-powered (look at him and his kingdom, theres no way it isnt), there's likely an alternative to coal he uses. the boiler would use some sort of concoction instead of coal as a heat source (side note, we're working with this with the prerequisite that this is a fantastical world, so the boiler fucking exploding isnt as big of a risk- and eco-friendly and relatively safe alternatives to coal exist)

enter varian and his creation of Flynnolium right. the stuff he made to heat up the boilers under corona which eventually lead it to be the first kingdom with a running hot water system (beating the industrial kingdom, apparently). the stuff is POTENT. so the idea here is, after giving the bike some excitable and genuine praise, for varian to suggest adding it to hugo's steam cycle- to which hugo vehemently refuses. why would he use something that could blow up his bike AND named after flynn rider of all things (its mostly the latter, lets be real)

(btw this is all in hugo's kingdom, i think hugo keeps his bike around that area and never too far outside of it)

so fast forward later. lets say theres a chase happening in his kingdom. lots of fun shots with hugo zipping around expertly through the twisted streets (and even rooftops) of his kingdom. but whatever is chasing them is keeping a steady pace so varian, again and again, is telling hugo we have GOT to use the flynnolium. they argue a little, mostly hugo refusing more and more stubbornly. but finally he literally has to give in bc theyre getting dangerously close to getting caught so after another yell from varian, he just lets out a dramatic groan and leans over and whispers to his bike something like "im sorry" and tells varian to do it. and naturally this makes the bike go fucking fast. it helps them get out of there AND ! it doesnt explode. isnt that fun. after that hugo has to swallow his stubborn pride and admit its a really, really good component for the steam cycle (but, yknow, maybe consider renaming it)

[moneymartin]

・❥・- after the storm

summary: you meet kate at a bar after you get stood up on a date ♡

warnings: none rlly. more fluffy than smutty. also rlly awkward kate cuz shes nervy :( use of y/n if that counts???

rpf. dont read if ur uncomfy

a/n: this has been in my fucking drafts for a week. also thank god i revised cuz this thing sucked before i proofread it 😭 same like every story every divider is a skip. also sorry for ending it like that i jus like leaving it up to everyone’s imagination 😇

you sit quietly at a table, a drink in your hand and at least 4 empty beer bottles in front of you. drunk and somewhat confused after some stupid guy stood you up on a date here. at least 3 hours have passed since he was meant to come, but you couldn’t suck it up and leave the club without the embarrassment of coming in alone, and walking out alone. it was fucking embarrassing and that always made you wanna hurl. everything did now.

everyone was meant to find someone or do something with someone tonight but you were certainly checked off of that list. things haven’t gone your way in forever and this is probably the worst one. now you’re just drowning yourself in alcohol and digging a deep hole you probably won’t be able to get out of. scanning around for a way to get your butt out of here, or just find a waiter, you’re suddenly stopped when you make eye contact with a girl. she’s got the prettiest blue eyes you’ve ever seen, and she’s coming your way.

“hey,” she spits out and smiles, taking a seat in front of you. it makes you a little nervous and frankly, you’re quite scared. “i’m kate…” her hand extends outwards towards you, expectantly waiting for a handshake and an introduction back. the fear you felt when she sat down just a moment suddenly dissipates and is replaced with a feeling of relief when your hand meets hers. “y/n.” you slur out, breath slightly reeking of alcohol. it doesn’t reel her away but makes her grow a little bit worried.

“thats um.. a lotttt of beers.” kate laughs, hoping to bring up the mood and energy that surrounds you. you’re obviously not happy, but she’s trying to make it seem like whatever happened isn’t as bad as you think it is. “y’know, being all drink and alone in a club like this isn’t very safe,” she starts and shakes her head slightly. “especially when it’s a pretty girl like you.” your eyebrows raise at her slip in of a compliment, face flushing and your lips pursing. she’s already incredibly bold, but there’s a glint in her eyes that shows how shes really feeling about this interaction.

you notice that she’s slightly nervous and that her movements and small jitters make it known that she is incredibly awkward. when you don’t answer back to her compliment, she smiles weirdly with her teeth and looks around the club, then at your face again. theres a pause as you let out a breath and just stare. “i’m sorry, what?” your voice is raspy still, and the music is straight over your voice which makes it harder for her to hear you. but the way your eyebrows raise and your eyes nearly pop out of your head makes her put the pieces together about what you felt about her ‘boldness.’

“it was nothing! i didn’t mean that…” she laughs and rubs the back of her neck and then digs her nails into her arm. kate’s teeth grind together and she inhales a deep breath, trying to play it cool when she knows deep down she’s dug herself into a big stupid hole she can’t get out of. “i’m just saying it isn’t safe, y’know!! not a good idea to be alone.” her voice goes up an octave and her body tenses up when you lock eyes with hers. yikes. “i can take you home to like.. help you sober up?”

her proposal makes your face scrunch at the thought of it. a stranger you met not even 10 minutes ago offering to take you to your home so you can sober up. really? “you’re not some serial killer, right?!!! i really don’t wanna end up in a ditch tonight cause that’d make everything worse!!” you blurt out just a little bit louder than you should’ve. kate gets the sudden urge to just smack her hand right over your mouth after you two get looks from people inside. “oh, god, no! what the hell?! i’m just trying to help you. so, please let me.” she begs and grabs your hand, locking her fingers with yours to calm down the drunken nerves in your system.

“okay..” you sigh, realizing just how desperate she is to talk to you. that is what it is. she just wants to talk to you, and shes trying her absolute hardest to make it seem like shes just going to help you out. kate pulls you up from the chair and wraps her arms around your waist, steadying your drunk and wobbly body. “i got you, alright?”

your body sinks into the couch after you somehow managed to guide her to your place. it took a little longer than it should’ve. the club was only 5 minutes away from your place but the whole trip took about 20 minutes. different streets and different roads and different alleyways.

“how’d you end up alone in there anyways?” kate asks, dabbing the back of her hand against your face to feel for a fever. your face is flush and you feel the rush of embarrassment coming back when her question finally registers in your head. it was the one thing you didn’t wanna talk about with her tonight. not because it was bad, it was just the fact that it was incredibly embarrassing. “got stood up.”

her eyebrows scrunch at the reasoning you give her while a pit grows in your stomach due to the look on her face. she looks like she wants to leave all of a sudden but its quickly replaced with a soft smile when she sees how you feel talking about it. “things happen for a reason, no?” kate says and smirks. she has a point though. maybe you got stood up on that date because you were bound to find her? that was dumb to think about. but it might’ve been true.

“yeah, i guess.”

“guys come and go. its not like it’ll happen again too. you’re very pretty.”

“you think so?”

“i know so.”

kate’s bold statements and words make you wonder if she really does mean them. and for some reason, you’re hoping that she does. her hands are shaky against your face and she shifts around the space on the couch to keep you comfortable instead of herself. she’s putting your needs in front of her own needs. you take in a heavy breath, looking up at kate while she stares at you longingly. “there’s obviously a reason why you wanted to help me.” you giggle.

her jaw slacks at your accusation, her face suddenly becoming a deep red. “no, c’mon! t- thats not true!” kate stammers over her own words and turns her head to the side to hide her face from you. you reach out to grab her wrist and tug her down towards you. her eyes look like they’re about to pop out of her skull and shes got a nervous frown on her face.

the confidence she manages to build up always crumbles in just a matter of seconds after you say something back. she likes that, and it makes her nervous in such a good way. “oh yeah?” you question and slide your hands up to her shoulders. your fingers wrap around her hoodie neckline, gripping tightly. “yes!” you know that she’s lying. theres an obvious reason why she offered in the first and you know exactly what it is.

“then show me why you really wanted to help.”

[cator99]

Massive fuck you to the sole blue hair retard in the crowd who managed to get picked for Fran Lebowitz Q&A time (a time which, for those who are observant, the audience is given the opportunity to suggest a topic for her to riff on) and asked how she would solve the Israel Palestine conflict. This of course garnered a collective groan of utter disdain and succeeded in clearing her off the stage in less than a minute after she refused to touch that question. I know its topical but it's not like other serious subjects where she can weave her way through it using funny anecdotes with the goal of landing on some punchlines. Do they not grasp that she only uses politics as a conduit for humor? Theres a reason she states upfront that she is not an activist. The thing that really set an uneasy tone amongst the room is the awareness of the unlikelihood that this person would have asked this of any random celebrity. We all know why they asked her. Same reason that my unemployed ftm housemate, as I told him where I was going while putting my shoes on, proceeded to google her and immediately say "I cant find anything about her stance on palestine :///....." Yup. She's A Humorist. I didn't know what else to say. But these types truly seem to believe that anything and everything should be presented alongside an eyesore collage of flags and a series of infographics and anything falling short of that should be understood as an inherent affront to morality– displayed in how they sort of complain-brag about spending all day arguing with Whatever-Phobes on Instagram and getting worked up over rage bait twitter posts in the name of Activism. Before I could finish collecting my thoughts, he continues: "...but I did find this drawing someone did of her in an IDF uniform. With a kid in a chokehold!" Yes. Thank you. I'm aware of the prevalence of antisemitism. Case in point. He continued on to say that while he Likes Comedy, that here aren't enough Leftist Comedians for him to feel Safe trying to Engage with it. Why are these types incapable of so much as looking in the direction of anything that isn't an exact mirror of their experiences or beliefs without shitting themselves? It's scrupulosity OCD to a fucking T. And jesus christ if you're going to a comedian for their political beliefs you're not only exposing yourself as someone without much in terms of a serious investment in actual politics to begin with but also a tragically humorless person– ie the type to show up to see Fran Lebowitz and clear the room with your inability to read it. One of the many pitfalls of illiteracy is that its impacts aren't restricted to the confines of a piece of paper.

[eomayas]

love without tragedy • jww

pairing: mafia!wonwoo x f!reader

genre: angst, mafia au

synopsis: what is it called when he wont be your boyfriend but acts like he is?

warnings: swearing. mean wonwoo. toxic realtionship. reader is in her early twenties, its unspecified how old wonwoo is but he is older. reader slaps wonwoo

a/n: helloooo i cant get wonu out of my mind so here is a little drabble. he is really mean in this story but thats not how i see my man its just for the purpose of the plot 😭💕

the look he's giving you is enough to make you tremble. you've never felt fear around wonwoo—his job is inherently scary and dangerous, but you've never felt fear of him, though right now that is being put to the test. a cold shiver runs down your spine as he stares at you from across the room. you wish there was an island of distance between the two of you, and not a measly coffee table.

"w-we were j-just dancing," you try, wringing your hands together in front of you. he scoffs through his nose and smirks, but its not sweet. there is malice behind it, like he thinks you're pathetic.

"that's what we're calling it?"

sure, maybe you did do more than dance with jun. maybe he had his hand on your leg and you let him inch it up your dress. and maybe you let him kiss you a couple of times. and sure, they were on the lips, sometimes on the neck. and maybe jun ran in the opposing gang in the city, so you made yourself and your fathers mob a target, which inherently puts wonwoo in the middle of it as well. but can he really blame you? wonwoo won't go out with you, always says its not safe for you to be seen with him. what he's really saying, is that he doesn't want your father—his boss—to find out.

wonwoo stares at you, his nostrils flared and his jaw set. whats making all of this worse, is that he hasn't even yelled yet. anger is practically seeping from his pores, but hes not yelling. "well, you wont go out with me!" you exclaim, throwing your hands up.

"so you go and fuck around with somebody from the other side, all because i wont take you out?" he scoffs at you again as your bottom lip trembles. "you really are a spoiled brat, you know that?"

"don't call me that," you frown at him and he shrugs at you, unfazed by your emotional state and the words he's saying to you. other than the fact that you were kissing the opposition, you don't know why he cares so much—there are plenty of other men that work for your father that can handle this.

"its what you are—you think you can have whatever you want, whenever you want," he says bitterly.

your frown deepens, and you almost threaten telling your father, but you know he'll just call you childish. its what he always does when you two argue about something stupid and you pull the dad card. "you're not even my boyfriend, so i don't know why you give a shit," wonwoos nose twitches at the B-word, and you know you've struck a nerve. if theres a couple ways to get under his skin, its to threaten him with your dad and point out the truth to him. "im not yours to worry about. there are plenty of people who do that anyway."

when he doesnt say anything, you keep going. "and so what if jun is with the other side? he doesn't seem to mind being out with me—something you can't handle! you won't even be my boyfriend, so what i do, and who i do it with, is none of your fucking concern."

"watch your fucking mouth, y/n," you're visibly taken aback at his words and his tone. wonwoo rarely, if ever, swears at you. he'll swear in your everyday conversations, but its never towards you. not even when you swear at him, like right now, does he ever do it back.

staring at him with wide eyes, a million thoughts race through your head, the first one being: when did i start being afraid of him? "dont talk to me like that," you say, a slight tremor in your voice.

"don't pull that card now, you've been cussing at me all night," wonwoo spits, puffing his chest out. "that's that spoiled brat shit i'm talking about! you think the entire fucking world revolves around you, but it doesn't!" you can't handle his sudden change in temperament, and your hands ball into fists at your sides.

"quit fucking talking to me like that."

"i'll talk to you how i want to talk to you-" the slap happens before you even realize what you've done, your feet carrying you over to him on autopilot. its not until you pull your hand away from his cheek that you register what you've done, the hurt on his face.

anger flashes on his features, and you have a split second to panic. you tense up, waiting for him to yell at you, but instead he only takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze away from you. "wonwoo..." you whisper, bringing your finger tips up to touch your lips. a red mark in the vague shape on your hand spreads across his pale cheek, and you swallow the lump in your throat. "wonwoo, i..." you trail off, because you don't know how to finish that sentence—you are far from sorry, feeling vindicated because, in your eyes, he did deserve it.

wonwoo runs a hand over his face and opens his mouth, but rethinks and closes it into a thin line. shaking his head, he shrugs on his jacket and grabs his belongings from your coffee table. he slips past you wordlessly and your eyes trail him as he walks out of your apartment, a sort of darkness settling over the room as you're left to stand alone.

wonwoo doesn't call, and after the fifth day you start to lose your mind. the day after the incident, you hardly thought about him, and when you did, it made you angry. the second day, you started to feel his absence, but it wasn't nearly as violent as it feels right now. the tears started on the third day, and haven't stopped. its only now that the guilt has settled in, your dry phone practically taunting you every time that you touch it.

"kwannie, i miss him!" you moan, burying your face into a pillow and letting out a scream. your best friend, seungkwan, gently pats your head and you sigh, turning your head to the side to look at him. "do you think he'll call?"

seungkwan presses his lips into a line and glances around his bedroom. "y/n, you slapped him," he reminds you, making you wrinkle your nose. "and you haven't apologized yet. i would't want to talk to you either."

"okay, but he deserved it! he was being disrespectful!"

"but you put your hands on him. you should have let, like, mingyu or somebody—if not your dad—deal with him," seungkwan says, referring to another one of your fathers men. and seungkwan is right; even though mingyu and wonwoo are friends, you know that his loyalty to your father comes first, which means that you come first. any of his men could have handled it adequately.

sighing, you sit up and hug the pillow to your chest. "he is so..." you groan into the pillow and hold it there for a few seconds. wonwoo is a piece of work. he's quiet and hard to read at times, and can't always give you a clear answer on what the two of you have. he says things that hurt your feelings. but he's also a confidant, your protector, while being something similar to a boyfriend. you trust him more than you trust yourself at times, and sometimes what you feel for him is so intense you wonder if you're making it all up.

its hard to trace when your realtionship with wonwoo began. you've known him since you were 20 years old, him appearing seemingly out of nowhere one day when you came home for a weekend in college. he introduced himself politely, but hardly asked about you or offered any information about himself. you went back to campus with your brain on him and him only. it wasn't until that summer that you saw more of him, but you two hardly interacted. he was always around but never quite where you needed him. your paths hardly ever crossed, unless it was the rare times you happened to be passing by him in the hallway or kitchen. a few months later, when you were home for winter break, you ran into him early in the morning. you'd just come back from a work out and ran into him in the kitchen. he was leaned up against the island, tapping away on his phone and he looked up when he heard your footsteps. you spoke first, saying good morning and asking him how he’s been. he returned the conversation and from there, every time you saw him you two at least spoke.

from then on, you exchanged numbers. he’d text you sporadically, checking in on you and asking you about your classes, life, etc. the texts turned to phone calls, late into the night when you were tucked in and he was just getting home from whatever job he’d finished. he never really told you what he did, but you knew. when you’d ask, he’d just say he handled something for your father, almost like he was trying to protect you from his reality, but you knew—you’d grown up around this lifestyle from birth. the calls started getting longer too, going from ten minutes, to thirty, and then for an hour, sometimes more. you’d talk about any and everything, so late into the night that you’d hardly get sleep sometimes, nearly missing class or dozing off during lectures. but you didn’t care, as long as you got to talk to wonwoo.

for spring break that year, you didn’t plan to come home, having plans to go out of town with your friends. b ur you cut your trip short by two days, and came home instead. everybody was surprised to see you, especially your father who wasn't expecting you. you just lied and told him you wanted to surprise him, but that was far from the truth. you were itching to see wonwoo, even if only for a few minutes because of his other duties. it was hours before you finally got to see him, and when you did it was late. you were hot tubbing, and you heard the backdoor open, his dark figure emerging. you called out to him and he walked to the edge of the hot tub, squatting down in front of you. your heart was racing as he looked down at you, and you got goosebumps despite being in warm water. not much was said between the two of you, but it was like there was an electric current flowing between the two of you. you asked him about his day, and he gave you the answer he gives you all the time: "it was a day." and then he asked you, and you said: "better." as in, better now that he's here in front of you. you raised your body out of the water a bit, the water coming up to the bottom of you ribcage. wonwoo shamelessly checked you out, his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. you moved to the edge of the tub, standing directly in front of him, his eyes darting between your bikini clad chest and your eyes. you stood up taller, this time most of your body coming out of the water, to get as close as possible to his face without touching him. he asked you: "do you know what you're doing?" to which you replied: "im positive i know what i'm doing." and then you kissed him, pressing your wet body against his extremely dry and clothed one, your hands gripping the edge of the hot tub. he kissed you with a hunger that made you breathless, and you gripped the front of his black jacket, nearly yanking him into the hot tub with you. when you pulled back to look in his inky dark eyes, you knew you were a goner.

letting out a breath, you let go and drag your hands over your face, closing your eyes. "i just don't get him sometimes," for nearly two years, you have been playing a sick game of cat and mouse with him. you think you have him, and then he'll say something to remind you that you in fact, don't. but he always has you, as much as it pains you to admit it. "h-he says he can't be my boyfriend. but when i try to go out—if i even look at another man—he goes crazy. kwan, i don't even know how he knew where i was. i didn't tell him i was going out."

seungkwan swallows and avoids your eyes. you glare at him, trying to meet his gaze. "seungkwan."

"yes?"

you hold eye contact for a second before he quickly looks away, and you gasp. "seungkwan, what the fuck!" you shout, jumping off of your bed. he holds his hands up in surrender, his eyes wide and pleading.

"y/n, i'm sorry! but he called me randomly, and said that you weren't answering! and he knew i wasn't with you because i picked up the phone, and i swear i wasn't going to tell him, but..." seungkwan trails off and you scoff, shaking your head.

"but what?"

"but... you know wonwoo: he's intimidating. and i don't want any problems with him. i'm really sorry, y/n. but i felt like i had no choice."

you frown at seungkwans words, the gears in your head turning. he had no choice? "did he threaten you?" you ask your best friend, your stomach churning. seungkwan... he's not like the rest of them. his father is also a mob leader and does dealing with your own father, which is how you two know each other. he is your longest and first friend. seungkwan isn't involved in any mob activities per his mother, who made it known that his father was not to involve her only son in any of that business. everybody knows to leave seungkwan alone, that he's like you: off limits. but clearly, your not-boyfriend doesn't know the rules.

seungkwan waves vaguely in the air and you see red for a moment before snatching your purse off of the nightstand and pocketing your phone. "y/n, where are you going?"

"i'll be back," is all you say before running out of his house and down to your car, hopping in and speeding the one place you can guarantee to find wonwoo.

pulling up to the club, you swing your car into a spot and scan the parking lot looking for his black mercedes. you spot it glimmering in the evening sun, and scoff before jumping out. you hardly have to talk to anybody when you walk in and make you way to the very back where wonwoo and five of your fathers men do business outside of your house.

a cloud of smoke hits your face when you push the door open, and you scrunch your face up. the first person you come in contact with is joshua, your fathers right hand man who you've known for the greater part of your life. when your father wasn't around, joshua was. he was more like an uncle to you, practically raising you. "hey, princess," he says, a smile on his face.

"where is wonwoo?" you ask, eyes surveying the room. you see mingyu, minghao, jeonghan, and vernon, but not the man you are here for.

"that's how you greet me?" joshua asks, tilting his head to the side. you don't feel like arguing, so you give him a quick hug paired with a kiss on the cheek. "why are you looking for wonwoo?" he asks.

you bite the inside of you cheek, trying to come up with a lie on the fly, until the door to another room opens, and wonwoo emerges buttoning the first three buttons on his shirt, followed by a dancer. your stomach drops, and you feel like laughing and crying at the same time. wonwoo doesn't acknowledge the woman and turns away from her, meeting your eye in the process. guilt and shock pass quickly over his features, before he composes himself and carries on like he didn't see him.

marching over to him, you stand in front of him as he takes a seat on the couch in the room. "wonwoo, we need to talk," you say, putting your hands on your hips. he picks up a glass of brown liquor and drains its remaining contents.

"then talk."

"in private," you say, widening your eyes. he sighs and stands up, starting to walk over to the room he just came out of. "i'm not talking to you in there." you say, a hint of disgust in your voice.

"then talk," he barks, the room quieting down a bit. your face burns in embarrassment, hating the way he's treating you. he stares up at you like there's better things he could be doing, his gaze hard.

"you're such an asshole."

wonwoo shrugs. "oh well."

"you know what, wonwoo? fuck you. i know you threatened boo the other night, so you can just fuck off! you can fuck with me—fine—but leave seungkwan out of it!"

his nose twitches like it did the other night, but this time you don't stick around to wait for him to explode. you leave just as quickly as you'd shown up.

once outside, the tears start. you lean against the side of the building and sob into your hands. you don't know how, or why, for that matter, you let wonwoo treat you this way. but he's not always like this— you've seen sides of him that prove it. but its been nearly two years of push and pull, him doing both the pushing and pulling. he pushes you away while simultaneously pulling you to him. he knows that you'll follow him wherever he goes.

[dippersguidetotheunexplained]

ok i know i keep harping on how i think tone was done really poorly in the bill book journal pages but like ok can we compare that to how jokes were done in the post portal incident era of journal 3 for a second because its driving me insane rn

like firstly theres barely any jokes at all in that whole section because the entire point is that ford is at the lowest point of his life and the whole rest of the book has plenty of jokes so its not like we cant afford to take a break from that for a minute but WHATEVER there are a few ok im not such a killjoy that i wont admit there are a few so lets take a look at one of them

like we get a joke here!! dog peanut butter face bit is funny i think we can all agree its a little funny. but like its all in the placement you know. the joke is here specifically so it will make the following suggestion that ford hurt himself feel even more jarring. its there along with calling the shitty diner coffee "industrial strength" to establish this slightly lighter mood that immediately gets shattered when we see that everyone in the dinner may in fact be under bills control, and that theres no where ford can go thats safe. its a really good example of humor and fear successfully being used in tandem and its one of my favorite scenes in the whole journal.

lets compare that to a section of the bill book

like the first part is one of the most gutwrenching moments in this whole section and we do not even get the luxury of a page turn separating us from the beginning of a goofy fucking photo montage. we are shown that bill is willing to last minute ditch a suicide/homicide attempt as a display of the complete control he has over fords life at this point and we are given no time to sit with this at all. we immediately go right into haha eurythmics reference funny embarrassing video of possessed ford looking crazy haha hes holding a funny sock puppet. the bright colors on the polaroid makes it the first thing you notice on the whole spread even

and like its morbid humor here ok i get that but like its still meant to be funny. and it completely throws off the deeply brutal and hopeless mood that was just established it does nothing to support what was just shown at all it feels like a desperate attempt to lighten the mood and i cannot for the life of me figure out why. especially since right after this we launch right into the extended nightmare sequence in which ford cannot move or remember who he is anymore so i guess we are suddenly meant to take everything seriously again. you know until the last sentence of that section when theres another joke again.

and also NONE OF THESE JOKES ARE EVEN FUNNYYYYYYYYYYY

[softestkabru]

I think Fleki and Mithrun could be close friends into Mithrun's retirement

Theres an extra where Fleki talks abt staying with Mithrun on Melini like Helki stays with Milsiril but she gets talked out of it bc he's like "it will not be exciting I'm not planning on having adventures. Im going to make noodles and be retired. Plus you'll be stuck hanging around a bunch on non-elves" and Fleki's like 🤢 nvm ur right

But like, thats so fucking cute. She'd like his live-in, burnout, non-niece on Melini for the next 200 years or whatever

Thinking abt a "10 years later" kind of deal where Mithrun's canary squad comes to visit him and they tease him kindly about how much he's changed (he smiles a lot, he's a bit chubby, he's really domestic w/ kabru, he has an eye prosthetic that actually fits,he's very kind to them) and Fleki almost starts crying because she's so emotional about seeing Mithrun happy and recovering and she's like "i'm sorry we tease you so much, I'm sorry we were so mean to youuuu we should have been nicer 😭 you kept us safe and we didn't even care" and Mithrun is like "I know, Fleki, it's ok. You all kept me safe too and I'm grateful for that" and he invites them for a nice dinner at his and Kabru's home and they talk about how the queen doesn't really know what to do with the former canary prisoners so she's been trying to pair them off with their wardens to just have normal lives which has been going...... not completely great

So their Melini visit goes by and at the end of it, Mithrun asks Fleki if she'd like to stay with them and he tells her it's ok if she doesnt want to because it will be boring and he'll expect her to behave herself and she'd be seperating from Lycion (her bestie/ emotional support whore) and she cries and is grateful and has to think about it but she comes to say yes because being an socially outcast elf is a hard and long life and her future back there is so uncertain and Mithrun and Kabru have enough faith in her to offer her a place in their home and lives and she never thought anyone would ever give her that much credit again.

So, it's not always easy (i can imagine her getting on Kabru's nerves a bit) but she keeps Mithrun company when Kabru is away on business and that's very important to Kabru. Senshi comes around from time to time and teaches her how to cook so she makes meals for their house. She of course still has her crow familiar and is good with other larger birds of prey (she could get into falconing as a hobby) and Lycion comes to visit every once in awhile and theyre still close.

This got a lil long but i was floating around in my pool for an hour thinking abt this and for rlly emotional abt it :')

[eternalera]

listen. i get the whole 'lets redeem sinners thing' in hazbin and its really good. like its about second chances which i love.

but heres the downside...

there are also rapists and shit in hell and i know theres this whole 'they dont go to hell they go somewhere much worse' bs but thats clearly not true as yknow... VALENTINO IS IN HELL

not to mention shit like genocide or whatever.

OR the fact that there are murders in hell, as once again alastor is in hell so thats not true.

but its so weird cause just imagine someone who you trusted killed you made your life hell and now youre in heaven free of the worry off ever seeing them again. but all of the sudden they get redeemed. like would you be in the wrong to not forgive them? just because theyre redeemed doesnt mean someone who was affected by their actions feel safe.

so thats one of my biggest problems because (and i love angel) but if he goes to heaven and valentino follows? thats what im getting after.

you try so hard to be good, to escape your aburser only for them to have a chance at following you to the one place where you thought you were safe. like... thats kinda fucked up

[anonymous-eggy]

your leander analysis was soooo spot on !! it's the first one that made sense to me !! i was always like ?? why would he try to mess with you ?? it just didn't make sense to me ?? you're so big brain

exactlyyyy!

i think my point didnt really get across because i said it in a very dramatic manner, but the point is there.

at the end of the day, Leander wants to manipulate you into trusting him. for what reason? we don't know yet. To take down the senobium? for selfish reasons? both?

no matter the reason, he's cunning and manipulative. he's not prone to outbursts and immediate revenge from what we've seen in the demo. he didn't become the trusted and adored leader of a huge gang by having childish outbursts and taking his frustration out on others for not trusting him or not wanting to be around him. he's like a wolf. he will play the long game if he really has to. if it becomes a game of stamina, he'll keep chasing you until you dont want to or cant run anywhere but into his arms. into his maw of fangs that he's conditioned you to believe is home so he can finally snap his jaw shut on you.

He is the safehouse, the leader. everyone follows him eventually. he just likes to make you feel like it was your choice all along and not something he was steering you towards since the very beginning.

this is literally what makes him such an attractive character. we know in the back of our minds (whether or not we realize it) that this is what he's doing. its so bad, but it so good at the same time. he has secrets and depth to his character and we want to know them.

honestly, if anything, he grabbed mc's hand when they choose to hesitate out of desperation to prove he can handle it and gain that huge leap of trust in Mc.

which caused mc a moment of panic and surprise, thus causing their curse to flare up. the same way i assume mhin's curse would flare up to protect them. this flare up was more than what leander had planned for, so he has a moment where he has to bat away the curse with whatever stupid powerful magic he's gotten ahold of.

once again, he wants you to trust him. this is obviously a bad situation where there's only two believable and sucky ways to play it off. the truth, or a prank. so he has to pick the lesser of two bad choices and play it off like he was just messing around. like it was just jokes and everything was fine all along!!! i think theres a small crack in his facade when he says something along the lines of Mc's curse being some serious stuff he's never seen before. this is a true statement buried in false ones. its easy to breeze over. he's successfully fooled you and won if he can get you to believe he was genuinely just fucking with you.

but yeah, sure Mc could have gotten pissed with him, but isnt a moment of Mc being pissed at a joke better than them not trusting him with their curse? the trust broken from a prank is MUCH easier to repair than trust broken from a curse that almost slipped through his magical protections.

Leander wants Mc alive, safe, and trusting him COMPLETELY. He (i assume unknowingly) hints at this anytime he talks about how he shouldn't have let you leave his side. he is that one "the illusion of choice" meme.

My ending statement will be this: i am OBSESSED with characters that have a true personality hidden under a different one. the little phrases that slip out and give insight into the truth are my JAM. characters that dangle a shiny charming personality like an angler fish. maybe its because of my trauma, but we dont have to talk about that.

[confessions-sm]

im soo bored because my fucking discord account is gone so im dojng a huge analysis on candybatz.

lets start with kevin.

my biggest pet peeve is when people solely make kevin grumpy and always irritated and violent and a kid hater. its so dumb. like , i dont mean to shit on peoples aus or interpretations, but when theres a consistent flow of people thinking that kevin is literally just a grumpy asshole, it gets SUPER frustrating.

literally thinking of the person who said ""characters shouldn't be black and white!!" you guys cant even handle spooky month characters"

its so real man. anyway back to the main topic. we get a good view of who kevin is as a guy in the 5 episodes hes in. i could give a good list of his traits. hes selfless, a quick thinker, protective, and kind. i could give examples. he puts other people first even if they have wronged him or put him in danger (skid n pump in episode 5). he uses his surroundings to protect other people and himself (ep 4 and 5). he gives free candy to skid and pump (who probably havent even paid for years, not to mention the time where he notices theyre visibly upset and he cheers them up with giving them free candy). like he doesnt need to do all of this but he does. hes nice. hes a sweet guy. hes really frustrated and stressed with his job but all he really wants to do is help people. when hes not losing his shit because of the nth disaster, he just really wants to assist people. and thats such a noticeable part in his character. i remember someone saying that the "and why is an old dude hanging around with kids? kinda weird.." can easily be read as him looking out for skid and pump. he just wants them to be safe.

because as much as he dislikes the trouble they bring, he KNOWS tneyre still kids. he doesnt outright scream at them or try to awfully punish them because he KNOWS theyre just little kids who dont know better. they arent adults with logical thinking skills, and kevin understands this. like fuck!!! as soon as he notices a threat, he stops scolding them to PROTECT THEM. kevin doesnt hate kids. he doesnt even hate skid and pump. he just hates how frustrating his job can get with the disasters that skid and pump seem to attract.

hes not an asshole, and people should stop fucking seeing him as that.

oh yeah. kevin also seems to be a very panicky guy. easily freaked out and probably really jumpy. again with the quick thinking. he says whatever to try and slip out of situations. he uses the things around him to fight off threats, even if those things dont work. he still tries, because he has that huge sense of wanting to help and protect. oouuuuh i love kevin i love him i love him i-

moving on because i think i covered most of kevs personality. so streber timeeee woooooo

we dont have a lot of coverage on this guy. we only get 1½ episodes, and a background appearance which doesnt give us, anything besides the fact hes alive. so, lets just work with what we got

in sm5, streber is shown to be an enthusiastic guy. really dedicated to putting on an act, and it gives us the idea that he really enjoys halloween, and most importantly, vampires. now, onto strebers rehearsal. we get more background personality ^_^! he seems to be almost sassy, and again!! dedication!! confi even says "he takes this so seriously". this forms streber even more. hes passionate and creative (and a bit nerdy :3), and from background details, we even get the idea that hes good at engineering and designing, having made the mirror himself. he aswell seems to love acting a lot, using the vampire accent an additional time in the short. another take away is that he loves kids :÷]. hes passionate about putting up a whole haunted house just for kids to experience the joy of halloween, and this is more headcanon based, but perhaps halloween means a lot to streber. perhaps it means a lot to the HH crew aswell. maybe streber is so passionate because he wants kids to feel the same spooky joy he felt when he was a kid, yknow? but thats not exactly confirmed, so thats all up to personal opinion. i imagine streber also has a good friendship with the crew. theres a bit of banter, and it gives me the vibes that theyve known eachother for a while ^_^.. but another thing i wanna mention is that people shouldnt characterize streber as some happy lucky go guy whos oblivious and stupid. hes, honestly pretty sassy. and its like, hes not really.. happy go lucky? hes passionate and creative and thoughtful and smart. yeah, hes sure enthusiastic, but happy go lucky? thats not streber.

idk. im mainly saying that only because of the huge explosion of candybatz being kinda fetishized due to the fact theyre a gay couple, and honestly, i kinda want to say streber got more of the worst of it. but thats not too fair, kev got bad treatment too.

anyway, i think thats all i gotta say about streber i guess. now, when it comes to candybatz? its hard to exactly tell how theyd act with eachother. all you can do is get their personalities and ponder if theyd mesh. really, my view is that theyd be an awesome fuckin couple. i project my personal want of a relationship onto them, so mainly its a lot of "they better eachother" and "they work together to make sure that they stay together". i think they communicate a lot and make eachother feel comfortable to exist and be themselves. theres no need to mask who they are as people, because theyre so in love with each other. they dont want or need to conceal themselves.

also. i have another pet peeve that im gonna say because i can and this post is already really long. i HATE when people call streber and kevin a sun x moon ship, because, 1. this kind of wrecks their personality and leans more into how the 2022 fandom portrayed them, and 2. "sun x moon" ships are SO fucking boring because people dont actually use traditional sun x moon things. when people usually say sun x moon, they mean day x night. @catsockpuppet did a really good analysis himself of the difference on a goldenlavender ask here. go check it out.

i dont know lol. this is really long but i was bored and wanting to delve into their ACTUAL personalities so. hell yeah

have a good day

.

[esosage]

God i love it when robotnik is put into a very normal and average setting because he is litterally the antithisis of that.

My man has spent his whole life acting and living like a cartoon supervillain. He knows hes evil full stop, and he has only been reafirmed by the people around him that hes evil (probobly from a young age aswell.)

So for someone like him, whos acted like a cartoonish supervillain for most of their life, to be forced to live in a regular, mundane enviorment, where the people are people, and dont have some alterior motive like how all of his previouse interaction have been, he obviously starts getting a bit paranoid, and anxiouse.

Because think about it, up until now hes lived in an cut throat enviorment where it was either him or the other person. This mentality started in the orphanage, and only got worse when he started working for the government. (Because you know he was backstabbing people to get to the top.) And through that enviorment, he learned that emotions were weaknesses, and that if you showed weakness you'd get mowed over by your opponents. Leading him to develop a very distant persona to survive.

But now? Hes in a safe enviorment, which isnt something hes used to. You can show weakness and not get black mailed for it. Theres no vying for the top, because there is no top. And everyones so damn freindly. No ulterior motives, no plans to backstab him later, just kindness for the sake of kidness. And robotnik has not a clue what to do, he just cant wrap his head around it.

To put it in perspective, robotnik is at the top of his game when he has a clear goal, an objective: Get to the top, aka, be better than everyone else. Thats what hes used to. And thats where hes been most of his life, thats where he's most comfortable because hes used to that. But what he's not used to is neighboors comeing to his door to hand him gifts withought poisioning it or expecting to reep the benefits later. What he isnt used to, is people checking up on him later to see of hes okay whenever he has a sudden outburst. What he isnt used to is people being so kind to him withought useing it against him later.

Robotnik has always thought that they way he grew up is how everything is: Freinds are transactional, showing emotions is showing weakness, noones truely on your side at the end of the day. But by placeing him in a normal, regular, run of the mill setting with no stakes and no drama, that entire world view is challanged. Because as much as he tries to find it, as much as he searches for it, he cant find any evidence that his life is in danger, or that his credibility, ego or whatevers important to him is on the line, which is a situation hes never been in. Normally, in the previouse enviorments hes been in, theres always danger around some corner, something to prep for, but theres none of that here. Theres no betray to prepare for, no secret plot comeing his way, just... calmness. And that obviously puts him on edge, since he doesn't think things are capable of being this calm withought something comeing after it. He doesnt belive that the world has the capability of being this peacefull. (Which is bassically him thinking the way he grew up is how the entire world is.)

And that bassically means he has to learn to be peacefull, to not always be on edge. And learn to calm the fuck down. Something that he couldnt even fathom before now.

Another thing i like about putting robotnik in this setting is that it also highlights how not normal he is:

Robotniks the weird kid, hes always been the weird kid. Everywhere hes went, hes been starkly different from the other people around him, and he knows that. He knows that to the point where hes twisted it into a reason as to why hes better than everyone else. And the mundane enviorment really highlights that.

Robotnik has always been treated like a cartoonish supervillain. Not just by the people around him, but by the setting and plot aswell. Hes hyped up as big and intimidateing, and in that way, he fits in despite being so cooky. Hes evil, stupidly evil, but it makes sense because the plot acts like thats normal. Its normal for him to act like a crazy supervillain, because he is one. Its practically required from him.

But now, hes in an enviorment where he isnt in the roll of a supervillain, he's just like everyone else around him. but he still trys to act like he is because he doesnt know what else to do. And that creates a deleciouse contrast that i love. Because of the eviorment hes in, now being crazy, and acting like a supervillain isnt normal anymore, because the plot isnt treating him like one anymore. Again, he's on the same level as everyone around him, and he doesnt know how to cope with that. So he tries to restort back to old habbits to have framiliarity in a landscape so unframilar to him. But those habbits arn't neccisarry in an enviorment like this, so they come off as weird.

And of course, you can make people shun him for this, (since thats what normally would happen,) but i find it more interesting if you dont. Because robotnik has been met with that reaction, hes been shunned before, so he's used to it.

He knows how to shut off his heart, and not care to that type of reaction twards him since its something hes had to do time and time again. And in a way, hes kind of hopeing for that reaction, because it only further proves his world view. It again gives him something framilar to work with here.

But imagine his shock when hes not met with that, when hes not shunned like he thought he would be. It freaks him the hell out, because he's not used to that level of openess, of emotional intamacy. He isnt used to people wanting to talk to him, or genuinly being interested in him, or not groaning whenever he comes into a room. Because before, he was some big mean scary supervillain. Someone you ran away from, someone who was delightfully evil and insane. But now, he isnt scary, he isnt a supervillain, hes just like everyone else.. a person... and that terrifyies him.

Because hes used to everyone hateing him. Of dreading him, and thats been his entire perspective of how other people can view him up until now. So for someone to be freindly to him, genuinly freindly, is probobly the most off putting thing to him.

So in other words, we need a robotnik sitcom paramount.

[19180901]

OSHSJSHSJSHSJSHJSNSSH I’M SO HAPPY THERES A NEW NINJAGO BLOGGFGGFFEHEHDHSHSHBD

OKAY OKAY OKAY WHAT IF LLOYD AND KAI (Seperate) GIRLFRIEND IS AN ELEMENTAL MASTER OF LAVA YES I KNOW ITS ALMOST LIKE KAI BUT THIS IS FANFICTION!

LIKE JANAI FROM THE DRAGON PRINCE WHENEVER SHE GETS LIKE REALLY ANGRY AND MY HOMEGIRL GOT SOME ANGER ISSUES HER ENTIRE BODY TURNS INTO LIKE LAVA TYPE OF SKIN AND THEY TRY TO CALM HER DOWN! IF YOU DONT WATCH THE DRAGON PRINCE I RECOMMEND WATCHING THIS

https://youtu.be/mIwidDvNins

JANAI STARTS TO TRANSFORM IN 01:04

OKAY SORRY FOR THE CAPS IM JUST SO EXCITED IM GONNA SHUT UP NOW

- 🌙

OMGAGAHSHAH IM KICKING MY FEET AND SCREAMING INTO MY PILLOW RN IM SO HAPPY I NEVER THOUGHT ID ACTUALLY GET REQUESTS AND LIKES AND SHIT LIKE THAT FROM THESE?? AAAAaaa a

IDK IF I SHOULD DO HCS OR A DRABBLE SO IM JUST GONNA DO HCS!! (SEND ME ANOTHER ASK IF YOU WANTED A DRABBLE, ILL MAKE ANOTHER VERSION !!)

✃ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

⤵ YOU'RE SO UPSET WITH ME...

. . 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐕 - 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 .ᐟ

✃ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

✣ . Kai and Lloyd (separate) x Master of Lava!fem!reader with anger issues !

➟ Lowercase intended.

➟ CW: Mild swearing, use of "princess" once. But overall it's just crack and fluff, and completely safe!

The timeline is up to you.

I didn't know if you were saying Janai had anger issues or the reader did, so I just gave the anger issues to the reader ahhajahahabba

I LOVE THE CONCEPT OF THIS SM

- <3

✣ . . 𝐊𝐀𝐈 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇 .

oh boy, you were angry as fuck. and normally, he'd think he could handle your anger.

haha WRONG

girlie so mad she became lava. literally.

and he was scared. so, very, extremely scared.

you looked like you were about to wreck the whole monastery down😭

BUT kai being kai like the (adorable) dumbass he is, he thought that, as the elemental master of fire, naturally he'd be lava-proof.

lol wrong again woopsies💔

he tried to hold your hand to calm you down a bit but instantly regretted.

but once he saw you slightly calming down and lightly giggling at his absolute suffering, he had an idea.

he walked towards you to excute his stupid idea (which was doing tomfool-fucking-ries and other dumb stuff in your face to cheer you up;; which would have made you angrier), he tripped on the electro chicken thing and fell face-first on the floor.

he turned around onto his back, pain written all over his face, and groaned.

okay. well that was a fail.

but maybe not?!?@?@🤯🤯

still on the floor, he saw you, also on the floor, laughing your fucking ass off. he was about to pull out some sassy remark out of his ass when he saw that you were becoming like the usual again!

you were brushing your tears off, about to throw him some mocking comment when your breath was fucking squeezed out of your body because the mf you call your boyfriend jumped on you like some kid who met their dad again after 6 years.

"OH thank the first spinjitzu master you're not lava and angry anymore. pls don't do that again i'm sorry😞."

you couldn't do anything but just pat his head and accept his apology.

conclusion, angry y/n: -12/10 would not recommend.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ✣

✣ . . 𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐘𝐃 𝐌. 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐍 .

holy shit?? you were lava??@?

this dude had no fucking clue on what to do, or what was going on.

he is the definition of the standing emoji (🧍)

it's not that he doesn't wanna help you or anything, my boy just has no experience on the "how to calm down angry girlfriend that turns into lava without dooming yourself" field ykyk 😞

at first he thought about pouring a bucket of water on you.

but he got scared you'd turn into stone or obsidian or smth and he'd lose you forever💀

so no pouring water on lava s/o.

so instead, he did what he thought was the most reasonable and logical thing to do.

he (very carefully) sat you down on the couch (or bed, idk) and let you rant/vent about whatever or whoever made you so furious you pretty much changed the composition of your skin cells and unlocked some kind of new power or something.

you ranted and ranted, and he did nothing but listen to you ever so attentively.

once you were done, he comforted you the best he could.

"it'll be alright, you are so much better than them anyway."

"their opinion on you does not matter if it's negative "

"you're so beautiful, no one can rivalize with your beauty, princess."

"i love you so so much. <3"

"do you, by complete hazard and coincidence, have their address? i'm just gonna... pay them a nice little visit. 😇"

you love him so ofc you give it to him ha😊😊

anyway he goes to get your favorite food and once he comes back with it, you're happy again👍

he's so proud of himself for that it's so cute

and after that you both live together happily ever after and have as many kids as you want whenever you want.

the end😋

✃ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

⤴ ...BUT I'M SO OBSESSED WITH YOU!

hihi hope you enjoyed this and don't forget to hit that follow and reblog button !!👍

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