#which is something that's sometimes mentioned in other media but not really shown a lot

[wereh0gz]

I really hope we get to see sonic's more introverted side in frontiers

It already looks like they're going for a more serious story with a more somber/melancholic tone so it would fit to see sonic being a bit more reserved

And since his friends aren't gonna be around for a lot of it hopefully we get to see more of his thoughts and feelings when he's alone, and how differently he acts on his own compared to how he usually is around other people

[cialovesklopp]

une journée a trois ➻ k.mbappe

summary – they had always been two. but now that they were about to be three, they were starting a new journee. the path of parenthood. ah, the joy of pregnancy

pairing – kylian mbappé x amara imani (oc)

warnings – a somewhat detailed description of childbirth, pregnancy, mentions of morning sickness, labor, breastfeeding

word count — 10.1k

author's note – i guess this is my last official chapter for the mon amour series before i am officially starting my trent fic and the first spin off to this series. i will also be taking mon amour to wattpad where i'll add some more social media since here it came a bit short. there will be a lot of redecorating for my fics in the next time. as a heads-up: i don't know anything about childbirth, my entire knowledge is from google so i am very sorry if i got something wrong. hope you enjoy <3

    ( masterlist )

it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. she liked to have her life planned out to the finest detail. she wasn’t organized to the smallest but she liked to live her life in a certain order. so this was not supposed to happen now. there was no in-between for her situation. either women were happy or their lives were destroyed right now. and yet she found herself between the two scenarios.

she had been careful. she had put her career first and it had worked in every damn relationship she had ever had (which had not been a lot). she had made it clear that the success of her career was the most important thing and after the whole evan fiasco, she had sworn to herself that no matter how many times she fell in love, she would never lose sight again of her priorities. and it had worked till now.

it was a small mistake that led to her situation now. a moment of a certain emotional weakness that was the reason why she found herself in the bathroom on the floor with her back leaning against the bathtub as she stared into nothing.

kylian had introduced her to a new world of love. one where longing became sometimes too hard and the moment they found each other again, all rational thoughts were thrown out the window. he had shown her what love really felt like and that it was so much more than just endless fights and screaming matches. so… of course she had lost sights of her priorities and acted after her emotions when her heart had missed him too much.

her situation resulted from a sudden stay in the same city. he had been there to play an important match, she had two nights in that same city to tour and overwhelm her fans with her music. it had been three months that they hadn’t seen each other in person so the moment they had known they were at the same place, all sane thoughts had been thrown out the window. they had missed each other too much to even think about anything else than be close again. feel the other again. and now, not even two months later, she found herself on the floor in the bathroom with a stick in her hand. a small piece of plastic that held the weight of the world. two small blue lines that seemed to throw everything out of order. there seemed to be life growing inside of her now.

she wasn’t crying but rather staring into the air. her eyes held no emotion as she held the positive test in her hands. somehow it didn’t seem to set in that she carried life now in her body. that someone was breathing inside her and had their own heartbeat. it appeared surreal to her. the realization that one of her biggest fears had become true.

amara didn’t fear his reaction. that was probably the least of her problems. he had always expressed his desire for children, no matter at which point in his career he would be. he would support her, no matter what. she was the problem.

there had been warnings for this situation. women with so much potential that had been destroyed or ruined because of a child. and it wasn’t just an empty warning. she had seen it with her own eyes. linda, evan’s mother, had been the proof she had needed. a beautiful woman, beautiful and intelligent — a cunning lawyer who was at the peak of her career. but her pregnancy had ruined her and had turned her into a housewife. the vision, evan had always had of her. being pregnant just before she was about to start the second leg of her tour was the most unfortunate moment, this little gift could have come. it threw all plans out of the window.

she absolutely did not want to become one of those women who were at the peak of their career and then got it ruined by an unplanned pregnancy. it was her biggest fear. especially because she was living on the high of it at the moment. everything was going well, — she was breaking record after record — and now everything was about to stop. because she knew she would never bring it over her heart to kill the small human that seemed to be growing in her. it was a part of her now. and she could never take that decision alone.

time passed and she still found herself in the same position, her mind still processing the news. she didn’t notice kylian coming home from training and calling her name. her senses picked up his smell and noticed his presence but her brain felt disconnected to the outside world. her mind was a whirlwind of conflicting and complicated thoughts she just couldn’t work through.

if he was surprised to find her in the bathroom, he didn’t show it. kylian called her name but there was no response except an occasional small hum. the room felt smaller and the atmosphere was uncomfortable with the big news looming over them.

“cherié, tout va bien?” he asked her softly, eyes filled with worry as he kneeled a bit down and remarked how hers seemed to just stare into nowhere with a numb expression in them. she didn’t find the strength in herself to say her fears out. it was paralyzing her from deeply inside and forming a big lump in her throat that prevented her from being vocal. instead she only handed him the positive test, the two lines glowing dimly under the bathroom light. — honey, is everything okay

there was a confused expression on his face that turned into a mix of shock and slight happiness. but any emotion disappeared when he was met with her expression. “this is a surprise,” he said out loud and turned towards her. “are you happy?” his question hung in the air but she couldn’t find an answer.

“i don’t know. i don’t know what i’m going to do.” she admitted, her voice quiet. there was a certain nervousness and fear that underlined her voice, portraying the weight that she carried on her shoulders now. there were so many possibilities and challenges, so many hills and rocks they would have to climb now. she wished she was fearless like all the other women that were over the moon when they got the positive news.

“i was about to leave for a whole year. the second part of my tour is starting in a month. and now i’m…” her throat became dry as the lump became bigger. the words seemed stuck, as if speaking them out would actually make it real. “i’m pregnant.”

she didn’t have to say more for kylian to understand her. that’s just how they were. he seemed to comprehend that she wasn’t mad at the pregnancy. after all, she adored children. she was amazing with them and they both knew they wanted kids. she just feared the impact it could have on her career.

“je ne sais pas quoi faire,” she mumbled under her breath, her lips barely moving. “it wasn’t supposed to happen now. everything was going soo… well, i guess. i don’t want it to end. i don’t want to lose my career.” — i don’t know what to do

he let out a sigh, his back sliding down the wall as he sat down next to her. one hand still held the positive test while the other wrapped around his girlfriend’s waist, pulling her closer to him. “why would this ruin your career? you’re the most successful artist i know. nothing could ruin this now.”

“you’re supposed to say that. but you haven’t seen that pregnancy does to women. i don’t want my career to be ruined, not with the way the world treats women. how am i supposed to be a good mum and a successful woman in the music industry?” she shook her head and put it down on his shoulder, resting it there. she appreciated his efforts to comfort her but he was a man— they would never truly understand a woman’s suffering, no matter how hard they tried.

“we could stay home both if you want that. i take a break from football and i could be home for the both of you,” he suggested and amara looked at him incredulously. it was strange for her how he had accepted it so quickly already, that they were about to be three while she still struggled to comprehend the situation.

she shook her head firmly. “i could never ask you to stop for me. i know how much you love football. it’s your life. this is a me-problem.”

“une grossese n’est pas un probleme d’une personne. tu n'es pas seule. je te promets que rien ne va se gâcher. ta carrière est remarquable est elle le sera toujours. no matter what you do,” he consoled her, pressing soft kisses on her temple. “je t’aime tellement. mais ça, c’est ta decision et tu es la seule avec le choix. soo… are you happy?” — a pregnancy is not a problem of one person. you’re not alone. i promise you, nothing is going to get ruined. your career is remarkable and will be

— i love you so much. but this is your decision and only you can take it.

she shrugged, the unexpected twist in her plans still burning through her mind. she just couldn’t understand how there was a small human being growing inside her now. something that was breathing inside her. even though it felt unreal — and all at once she knew what she was going to do. what she would have to do now. her world would revolve around that little human being now. and she would do everything in her power to love that little baby that was living inside her. even if it the feeling of surrealism would never truly leave her.

maybe her mind should have adapted to it by now but it still felt disconnected to the situation. as if she was living two lives now. they hadn’t told anyone yet, preferring to keep it their little secret for the moment. especially because they still hadn’t settled in on the idea of getting a family addition.

kylian had noticed her struggles. how she couldn’t work around it. he would find her sometimes in front of the mirror, staring at her stomach. and even then it looked like she still hadn’t made her peace with the situation. amara had come up with several excuses why she had been going softer on training and why she avoided her pr for the second leg of the tour so much at the moment. kylian seemed to have calmed her down a bit about the pregnancy but the fears and rocks it would bring still hadn’t been overcome. even more when she still didn’t feel a thorough connection to the baby in her stomach.

the first ultrasound had been their reality check. that whatever they had been dancing around, was actually happening. there was a grateful look in her eyes when kylian grabbed her hand while their doctor applied the cold gel on her. it was terrifying for her to say the least. their nurse was friendly, nice — she must have sensed amara’s nervousness with the way she had been trying to calm the singer down. it had been risky getting an appointment but kylian had made sure to be extra careful. to make sure that nothing would come out to the press. the least she needed right now was for the time that should’ve been the happiest in her life to be without any media presence.

hearing the heartbeat was a sharp reminder that they weren’t alone anymore. the sound appeared to be precise evidence of life within her, the real confirmation for her pregnancy. it was a new experience for them, a new chapter that was starting soon in their lives. the impending parenthood that was installing its way into their life. several emotions were rushing through them as they made contact for the first time with their baby. and yet, despite the huge importance of the moment, amara’s emotions refused to truly correspond to the situation because of a missing connection between her and the baby.

she looked at the ultrasound screens, her eyes specifically fixing the point the doctor had shown them was their baby. she was registering the moment but struggled to find an emotional place for it. and it wasn’t because amara didn’t love the growing human in her body enough. there was no lack of love or commitment. her brain was just going into panic mode and refused to acknowledge the incoming changes. an automatic self-defense response from her mind who thought it needed to protect her. because even if she knew her career was good, it didn’t take away her fear of having all of that ruined.

as the doctor left them to offer them some privacy, there seemed to be just them now and the sound of a heartbeat. amara didn’t have to look at kylian to know that his cheeks were probably hurting from smiling so much. that his eyes were probably a bit teary from hearing the heartbeat of their unborn child. his hand found hers and he subconsciously intertwined them, his mind still clouded by all the emotions running through his body. she smiled at him, happy to know that at least he seemed to be able to form a special memory with the moment. for her, everything still felt surreal.

and the feeling of it did not leave her, not even in the night.

they were in bed, cuddled together under blankets when amara suddenly woke up from a slight movement. she turned a bit to look at kylian but her boyfriend still seemed to sleep peacefully. as she felt it again, amara looked down and found kylian’s hand on her stomach. casually laying there all protectively. and somehow, it was exactly what she needed to realise that it would be okay.

a small smile formed on her face and she put her hand on her stomach too. this was going to happen and she would be prepared for it. she wasn’t sure whether babies could already hear but it was stronger than her. the urge to promise her baby the world.

“i don’t know whether i’m going to be a good mum to you,” she began softly, speaking low to not wake up kylian. “but i can promise you, you’ll be in good hands with your dad.” she chuckled, the thought of kylian playing with a small mini-him or mini-her exciting her. “i’m sorry that you’re stuck with a mum who doesn’t know what she wants. but i’m trying. i’m trying for you… to be the best version of myself that you’ll need.”

they began slowly, the changes. at first barely remarkable and now they were plainly obvious. life seemed to radiate from her. she possessed a kind of positive aura around her that even the blind could see. she had truly grown into the start of her pregnancy as she entered her second trimester.

amara found herself balancing her life before and during her pregnancy. she had to get used now to the fact that her body was adapting for the small human being in her stomach and that it included good and bad changes. she had overcome her struggles with the pregnancy and the lack of emotion she had had towards it. now she suddenly felt overwhelmed but happy. nearly excited to start this new chapter.

she was four months pregnant and with that also came the first differences that made this pregnancy real. that made it more than just a statement on a paper. a small, noticeable bump had formed on her stomach — it wasn’t very big but remarkably enough that it had made them nearly cry when they had seen it. now kylian’s hoodies had become her go-to attire to hide the small curve on her stomach. his sweatshirts engulfed her completely, serving as a comfortable shield for her womb and a cover up. after all, they still hadn’t told anyone and the little human growing in her body was still their secret.

and just as she progressed into her pregnancy, so did the unfortunate changes like morning sickness or strange food cravings. instead of spending her mornings in bed, spooning with her boyfriend, she now found herself hung over the toilet as soon as the sun came up, with kylian holding her hair. he whispered sweet encouragements and gentle circles which was now a habit for them every morning as she finished her first trimester to enter the second. it was exhausting, crucifying even and drained her. the doctor had told them it would stop soon but she found no change. she would just have to endure it.

even worse were the sudden food cravings. eating had already become hard enough with nothing staying in her body but her strange food cravings made it ten times worse. strawberries were her first sacrifice that came with nurturing life followed by sushi and chinese food. now even the slightest smell of take-out food had her running to the toilet. it was hard and what made it even more hard was the fact that she couldn’t ask anyone for advice other than her doctor.

they hadn’t told anyone of the pregnancy. she had canceled the second leg of her tour without any reason other than the “personal reasons” she had stated in her statement. it had been a heart-wrenching decision, stopping to travel around the world and illuminate people with her music but it was necessary. another sacrifice for her new life she was entering. they had left the world — including their own families — in the dark as they chose to live in their small pink bubble, far away from the harsh reality. amara would never admit it but she was glad. grateful that she didn’t have to share what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life with the world. she wanted it to be their private little moment.

pregnancy did not only change the way they lived. it changed them completely. amara knew kylian loved her but he had changed his love language. he had gone from sweet words and giving gifts to affection and touching her constantly. it had started small, with small caresses on her back and intertwining their hands subconsciously to gentle circles drawn on her hands now soft strokes. and most of them were always centered around her stomach. it was his new way of expressing his unconditional love that was now not only directed towards her but also towards the tiny life growing inside her. they had adapted to parenthood together and it made her fall in love even more.

especially when he talked to their small little miracle when he thought she was asleep. it had started as small confessions towards their baby and had turned into full one-sided conversations now. it warmed her heart when she listened to him, heard how he expressed some of his fears — that amara found were completely unreasonable— and talked about how excited he was. no matter which gender their little bundle of joy would have. only they mattered to them, her, him and the small unborn baby. their bubble was complete.

but the couple knew that their bubble would burst soon and they would rather be the ones to do it than an outsider. after spending one month at home, shielded from the outside, she had decided to come out. and her first official appearance was no other place than kylian’s match. her parents had surprised her with a visit and both knew, they couldn’t hide it any longer now. they hadn’t exactly spoken about a way they would announce it but it was clear that they would have to share it with their families now.

along with her parents she was seated in their usual reserved spots for the families of the players, next to them kylian’s parents and his brother with his children. she played with kylian’s nephew, bouncing him on her lap while her mind wandered off to thinking about how it would be in a few months. when she would be cheering him on with their small bundle of joy.

their eyes met and she watched his smile grow bigger as he spotted her with his nephew — no doubt, the same image of her with their baby was running through his mind. again, there was an overwhelming sense of pride and excitement. amara turned to her mother, who had redirected a question towards her, wondering why her daughter was glowing so positively. and all she could do was grin. they would know later.

though later appeared to be very close as their secrecy came to an end with the opening score. he had hit a beautiful goal after dribbling his way through the penalty area and instead of hitting his usual celebration, he went for the ball. there were shocked gasps around her along with a roar of cheer when he ran around with the ball under his shirt and sent a heart her way. everyone instantly put the pieces together — after all there weren’t many possibilities what it could signify — and immediately they all turned towards her.

“don’t tell me…” her mother trailed off in shock and amara nodded, grinning widely.

“surprise,” she exclaimed, a cheeky smile adorning her face. she lifted the sweatshirt a bit and revealed her four-month old belly that she had been hiding for the past month now.

fayza immediately pulled her into a hug, kissing amara’s temple gently. “félicitation ma fille. oh je suis tellement contente.” — congraulation, my daughter. i’m soo happy

one by one, they hugged her, all expressing their felicitations. even the others that were around to support their player on the pitch threw a happy congratulations towards her.

“how far along are you?” her father asked her, pulling his daughter in for another hug.

she smiled into the hug, the feeling of home spreading through her body. “nearly five months now. i finished my first trimester a few weeks ago.”

“now it makes sense why you couldn’t go out with me,” alice realized and amara sent a wink in her direction.

“how could you keep this from us?” her mother asked in a shocked tone, looking at her daughter incredulously. “amaghị m ma m ga-akụ gị maka idobere m ya ka ọ bụ naanị nwee obi ụtọ. ihe a abughi ihe i zonari nne gi ada.” — i don't know whether i'm supposed to hit you for keeping it from me or just be happy. this is not something you hide from your mother.

amara shrugged. “it was our little secret.”

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by liyah_clark, achrafhakimi and 26.304.752 others

amara.imani secret is finally out. the reason i had to cancel the second leg of my tour. i’ll back soon but in the meantime, baby imani-mbappé is coming

view all 293.753 comments

liyah_clark the audacity to not tell your best friends that we’re becoming aunts

graceywood can’t believe she hid it from us 😔, i think we don’t mean anything to her anymore

amara.imani I APOLOGIZED ALREADY

amara.imani i even told you the gender, what more do you want?

username project mbappe is officially starting

username man really said, i’m starting my own mini-me

psg félicitation a vous deux ❤️💙

equipedefrance félicitation de toute l'équipe de france

username news of the year

antogriezmann félicitation mon frère

sza i can’t waittttt

kipembe3 la bébé de la team va avoir un bébé, trop hâte

paulpogba kyks le daron, qui aurait cru

cynthia_e so excited to become an aunt to this angel

username please say sike

username i don’t wanna lose my (imaginal) wife

username omg now it makes sense why she was always spotted in sweatshirts

kehlani ohh i’m gonna be auntie kehlani soon 🥹

charles_leclerc new member to the amara imani squad

landonorris best news of the week

graceywood auntie grace is ready for her duties

liyah_clark auntie liyah and uncle charles report for duties too

username i’m not even mad anymore she canceled her tour

username fr, i’m too excited for this

achrafhakimi finally. it was so hard keeping it a secret and not telling you i knew

amara.imani how did you know?

achrafhakimi you never decline a glass of red wine

username omg they’re gonna be parents 🥹🥹

tchaga_ felicitations a vous deux. je vous souhaite le meilleur

k.mbappe 🫶🏾

the news had spread like a wildfire and even people who weren’t interested in the football or music industry knew that amara imani was pregnant. their names had been mentioned in every article for three weeks straight, wondering over the gender of the baby and when exactly it could maybe arrive. her phone was now silent everyday to drown out the constant vibrations of notifications. it was spammed with articles and posts mentioning her — everyone had something to say about her pregnancy.

even players she hadn’t ever interacted with had slid into her dms to wish her and kylian well. not to forget the french national team who had called to congratulate them as well. they had instantly launched a group call, to also include those who played overseas and wished their two friends well. everyone bombarded her with questions about the impending arrival of their baby — their new protégé as they liked to call it now. a warm feeling spread through her body as she thought about the way, their baby already had so many uncles that loved their coming bundle and would help them. they were a big family after all.

as she advanced in her pregnancy and her bump grew bigger, kylian also grew more protective around her. he didn’t allow her to lift a finger to do anything around the house anymore except go to pee. he cooked now and send his mother to drop off food when he was busy or away for a game. his chauffeur had now become something like their housekeeper, occasionally checking in on her when she was home alone. kylian had even hired her a personal shopper that would go shopping for her when she didn’t feel like online shopping. he was doing everything to protect her from doing too much.

and amara understood where he was coming from so she couldn’t even be mad at him. after their latest doctor’s appointment, where they had been told that there was a risk of giving birth prematurely, her own fears had reappeared again. they had never truly left her but now they were living in her brain again. her pregnancy had already been complicated with her uterus apparently refusing to grow to give the baby more space. she had been told it was a protective response of her body after a certain kind of trauma she must have endured — a trauma that her body now refused to live again so it took protective measures. she had been ordered two weeks of bed rest and after that, to do the most to go easy on her body. spare it from hard work.

seven months into what should have been the happiest time of her life and she found herself afraid of her own body and what could happen if she gave birth prematurely. she had worked through the fears concerning her career and now she would have to manage the fears of not being ready to give birth.

and adding to that fear that hovered over her now, pregnancy had also become harder for her. what had seemed to be a small curve before now looked like a midsized watermelon shoved into her stomach. the toll on her body became more prominent now — daily ingestions of vitamins, eating twice the amount of what pregnant women usually consumed — measures like that had become routines for her. she had been warned of a complicated pregnancy but none of what she had been told measured up to what she was feeling.

nonetheless, her pregnancy was also marked with good moments, happy moments where both just got ready for parenthood. moments that had put light on the situation they were living in at the moment. painting the room had been a day where they had created lots of memories they cherished. the singer had been visiting friends of hers who had been staying in the city of love and had come home to find kylian with a screwdriver in his hand while achraf was reading him the instructions for the crib.

“you’re supposed to put it like this.”

“i’m doing that. it won’t go in.”

the two hadn’t even noticed her arrival their focus laying purely on the crib. turned out, he had left training early and had dedicated the entire day to constructing the crib and getting the room finished. her heart had grown twice its size that day. there were so many memories they had already created in that room (looking past their messy make-out session because she was feeling horny) and painting the room of their coming bundle of joy was just an addition to that.

the realization of parenthood and their new addition to the family had somehow wriggled into their lives. during her first trimester, she had pushed the thought of pregnancy at the back of her head, hoping to procrastinate everything that concerned it. now she was excited for the arrival of their little bean and was planning each detail as finely as she could. they were navigating their way around it with the new flow of emotions they were experiencing. as she progressed and her bump became bigger, so got the question about the name their unborn child would carry. it was clear to both of them that their baby would not carry a double-name; they held no importance if the only place where they appeared was on official documents. they would settle on a single name their baby would be known through the world.

he had the entire world scream his name and wear it on their shirts to express their support for him, she had people sing her music all over the world and express themselves to it. both names carried big weighs all around the world and no matter which name it got, there would always be expectations that would have to be reached. yet she sensed that it was more important for him — the matter of the name. so they chose mbappé for their last name. but the problem of the forename still linged.

that’s how they found themselves awake in bed at four in the morning with the question of the name preventing them from sleeping (in addition to amara craving for tacos at two in the morning). they were surrounded by baby name books while their phones had websites for baby names open.

“what do we think of kylian mbappe jr?” he proposed jokingly, grinning at her as he stole another of her sweet potato fries.

she rolled her eyes. “of course, why not? and while we’re already at it, why not instantly start project mbappe and put it into the academy instantly after i give birth?”

he held his hands up on surrender. “it was just a suggestion.”

“a stupid one,” a small giggle left her lips as she declines his proposition. she was kind of glad that he wasn’t stressing so much about the pregnancy as much as she was now. one of them needed to be the easy parent and she knew it was just in her nature to be the stricter person.

“what about… malouanne ?” he read out loud from his phone which earned him a pillow thrown his way. “what? it’s a mix of the names marie, louise and anne. fits perfectly if you ask me.”

“as beautiful as the name may sound, do you want our kid to be bullied at school?” amara instantly retorted back, continuing to read in her book to find a name.

that was how they spend the night, searching for names that would fit their little human and create their identity. the question of the name was always a difficult one because somehow nothing seemed to fit. nothing was enough for their baby. they were looking for a name that just screamed their bundle of joy; that upon hearing it would immediately make them think of it.

“should we add a middle name?” he asked her, putting his phone down to look at her. his hand instantly placed itself on her stomach, stroking it gently. “should we give you a middle name,” he asked softly towards the stomach. a smile made its way on his face when he felt a kick at the spot where his hand laid and amara hissed slightly.

“i think we need a middle name,” kylian told her slyly. “our little bean clearly agrees with me.”

“they agrees on everything with you. i swear i have a daddy’s girl in my stomach.”

her boyfriend grinned at her, cradling her stomach. “well, they are their father’s child” his grin widened when he felt a kick again.

she shook her head in disbelief but knew he was right. bidding him goodnight and placing a last small kiss on his lips, she waltzed a bit around to find the perfect position to sleep in. with her belly growing, so did the matter of finding a good position to sleep in but the huge pregnancy pillow that kylian had bought her seemed to help. still it didn’t take away the ordeal of finding the position. she was nearly asleep, her mind already drifting away when kylian finally closed the books and turned off the light. his hand wrapped around her waist to feel closer to her as he got comfortable in bed.

she had nearly missed his suggestion, already dozing off when she heard his voice. it was barely above a whisper but loud enough to hear.

“i think ada would suit her perfectly as a middle name in case it’s a girl. the perfect mix of you. and you said you wanted to honor your mother.”

needless to say that she fell asleep with a smile on her face. one problem less now in what was supposed to be the happiest time of her life.

a sharp pain shot through her body. she had been seated on the couch, excitingly watching kylian play when suddenly all she could focus on was the feeling of agony that spread through her body. she tries to ignore it but it’s stronger than her. her hands immediately go down to hold her bump as she leans forward, pain rushing through her entire body and making it impossible to think. her mind is consumed with the feeling of crucifying agony and she can’t think of anything else.

as quick as it comes, it subsided again and she takes a deep breath, trying to regain her composure— before it starts all over again. her first thoughts are that she’s experiencing preparation labor — the famous braxton hicks, that her doctor had warned her of and that she had been victim to during her seventh month. but this pain felt different. the match had been long forgotten as she found herself on the floor, tears starting to fall down her cheeks. her body felt weak, too heavy for her to carry to even try to sit up. the salty substance of her eyes had already started to stain the white carpet and she was able to taste her tears. her eyes travel around the room, as she looks for her phone and desperation fills her as she sees it on the other side of the room, charging. she tries to get up, to at least manage to crawl to it but another pain prevented her.

her eyes close, too weak to have them open as soft sobs leave her trembling lips. she’s wallowing in pain, hoping that someone will find her; that kylian will come home soon. she had always been afraid of giving birth in bad conditions, especially as she was early and her due date was supposed to be in two weeks. her arms wrapped around her stomach as she tried to comfort herself by whispering sweet encouragements, hoping that they would at least help her calm down a bit. but the pain did not leave her.

she doesn’t know how long she’s suffering in agonizing pain when she suddenly hears the apartment door opening and someone entering. pearls of sweat are running down her forehead as she’s compressed to the floor, her arms hugging her belly close to her. the solitude had amplified her situation, made it worse as fears had taken over her mind; the fear of having to give birth alone. and she couldn’t be mad at kylian. after all, the due date was supposed to be in two weeks and even that was much earlier than expected. she tries to ignore the pain and at least try to lift her head to see who just came in but the waves of pain that stream through her body are stronger. like electric waves rushing through her body and hitting her everywhere.

it’s his driver that gives her a bit of hope again when she hears his voice. he immediately rushed towards her, kneeling down as he took in the scene.

“i don’t… i don’t want to give birth..” she managed to croak out, pain preventing her from speaking clearly. her voice was filled with agony as small sobs left her lips. "je veux kylian.” — i want kylian

there was no hesitation, no time to panic or doubt. she was sobbing as she tried to catch her breath while he swiftly retrieved his phone to dial the emergency services. while his other hand held the phone, the other was softly stroking her back, hoping to transfer some solace to her. a bystander would have interpreted the scene in front of them completely different but right now, it comforted amara. calmed her down knowing she wasn’t going through this alone anymore.

he also called kylian but he soon realized it was of little avail, when his eyes caught the screen where the camera had just zoomed on the french striker. the feeling of desperation now seemed to have caught onto him too as he quickly grabbed amara’s phone to place another urgent call. this time to his brother who had not been selected for the match. their call was not very long, only sharing the most important details. his heart lightened a bit when he saw the sudden substitution of kylian. but the feeling of relief was as quickly gone as it came when his eyes fell on the woman next to him, who seemed to take the pain harder with every second that passed.

staying conscious started to become hard for her. she felt a bit of relief when the medics had finally arrived, instantly carrying her to bring her to the closest hospital. but he was still not there and it freaked her out. she couldn’t give birth alone. not without him. there was chaos around her, several voices as she was rushed into the hospital and yet her brain only focused on one thought: she needed him here. she had been put into a private room to not attire a lot of attention as they were aware of her identity. they had told her she would soon be ready for the next phase of this journey but she didn’t want to start it. not without him so even though her body was killing her, she held onto the pain till he would be there.

they tried to calm her down as her contractions intensified but it was to no avail. she needed him to be there and hold her hand. be her sanctuary to guide her through her fears. every reassurance that was spoken to her didn’t mean anything to her cause they weren’t whispered by his lips. she wanted him and no one else.

kylian had instantly run to the changing rooms to get his things as soon as he had been informed of the news. there was confusion at first, when he suddenly saw his number on the changing boards but the small explanation from his coach was enough to suddenly hug enrique and rush out as quickly as possible.

there was no time to care about any traffic rules. she was more important. they were what mattered now. short messages had been sent to his families to inform them of the situation before he ran into the hospital, looking to support his girlfriend during this important moment. he didn’t care whether he hadn’t parked right or how many speed limits he had crossed, all he wanted was to hold amara’s hand.

from the reception desk he had instantly been taken to her room where he rushed to her and engulfed her into a close hug. he had seen her in so many states before but this was new to him. unknown territory like each time he went to play on an adversary’s side that he had never crossed paths with. his heart hurt as he took in her appearance; her face scrunched together because of the crucifying pain, the sweat pearls that rolled down her face along with her tears and the small sobs that left her trembling lips. amara was truly in pain.

“t’es- tu est la…” she managed to croak out before another sharp flash of pain shot through her, making her scream in agony. — you’re … here

he wiped her tears from her face and pressed a soft kiss onto her cheek, able to taste the salty taste of her tears. his heart broke as he thought about all the time she must have spent here without anyone close to her and in pain. she had always been scared of facing labor alone, just the thought of it made her doubt everything but he had always been able to calm her down. promises had been exchanged when she had longed for the reassurance that no matter what came, he would always be there for her— in this moment. she would never have to go through this alone.

“je suis venu le plus vite possible,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and squeezing it. hoping that the solace and feeling of warmth the act usually transferred would calm her down a bit. she cried again, this time though she wasn’t sure whether it was due to his presence or the pain that her body had to endure at the moment. — i came as quick as possible

he lifted their intertwined hands to meet his lips and pressed a kiss on it. “je te l’avais promis. je serai là.” — i promised you. i will be there.

she nodded, another contraction hitting her and preventing her from speaking. her body was overwhelmed with emotions; pain, fear. comfort all present in her body. a bit of solace had been found from kylian being there but the feeling disappeared when the doctor came in agan. when she announced that it was showtime and should have to push now. there was no going back, no time to have second thoughts. it was all happening in this instant now.

labor was hard. jolts of pain were shooting through her body in short periods and each time she had to push through them. she didn’t care if the entire hospital heard her screams or whether she was breaking kylian’s entire hand with the amount of force she was squeezing it. she couldn’t see anything except pain. and what her desperate even more was the fact that nothing seemed to change.

the nurses and doctors were telling her that she was doing a fantastic job but she still felt as if she hadn’t even pushed once. as if nothing had changed. no matter how much she pressed.

“you’re doing so well ma belle,” kylian encouraged her as another of her screams pierced through the room. “you’re so close.”

“why doesn’t it feel like this?” she yelled out in pain, tears streaming down her cheeks. she was hot, her forehead was sweaty and her body felt weak. she couldn’t push anymore.

“miss, you’re nearly done. we can already see the head,” their doctor tried to motivate her. “we just need two more big pushes.”

her surroundings drowned out as she gathered all the strength that was left in her body to push. everything around her became blurry, colors, shapes, persons. her mind was too tired to make her sight clear and she had no energy left anymore to try to focus.

“we need one last push,” they called out to her as she nearly broke down on the bed.

“i’m tired, ky,” she cried tiredly. her eyes barely open. she looked desperately at him. “it hurts so much. i can’t do it anymore. i just want this to be over but it hurts so much,” her sobs left her body and his heart ached as he listened to her.

“t’es la femme la plus courageuse que je connais. et je vais pas te mentir, je ne sais pas dans quelle douleur tu es. mais je sais que tu es la seule à pouvoir le faire. bientôt on aura notre bébé dans le main. one last push and it’s over, okay?” their eyes mirrored every emotion present in the room. the fatigue but also the exhaustion. pain but also love: there was everything. — you’re the strongest woman i know. and i won't lie to you, i don’t know what the pain you’re in feels like. but i know you’re the only one who can do it. soon we’ll have our baby in our hands.

amara nodded as she took a deep breath to push again. she’s clutching kylian’s hand with every last remaining strength as he continues to encourage her. the pain she’s feeling now was much higher than what she experienced the last five hours. suddenly she feels everything. as if her senses have been amplified. there was a sharp pain accompanied by an agonizing scream and suddenly there's a new voice in the room.

she’s asked to hold her arms out as kylian’s eyes fill with tears and all of sudden she’s holding her baby. their little girl. the joy of their life they’ve been dying to meet.

her eyes are filled with tears as the realization hit her. all the pain is suddenly forgotten, as if it never existed. now her body’s only consumed with happiness. she’s crying hysterically as her baby continues to let out cries. the sign of life. that everything was going well. she didn’t need to look at him to know that he was crying as well.

every of her muscles is feeling exhausted when they take their new child away to do its first medical care. kylian himself wasn’t one to often feel very emotional but when he had been asked to cut the chord that had connected amara and their bundle of joy for nine months. she’s finally here and he suddenly understood the feeling of surrealism that amara had told him about.

after the first checks had been done, their daughter had been placed into her arms again. and somehow she must have had still some liquid in her body as her eyes began to water again when she truly held her daughter for the first time.

“she doesn’t seem like a faith,” amara whispered, holding her daughter who was covered in a soft, fluffy, pink blanket. she had opened her eyes for the first time and again, a few years left her eyes when she stared into her daughter’s beautiful eyes. they had her eye shape but all she saw looking into them was kylian. she had inherited her father’s eyes. the fact that she could reference to kylian as dad now spread a new kind of warmth through her body.

“no. it kinda feels wrong,” he agreed. as he gently trailed a finger over her delicate face, he couldn’t help but fall more in love with the woman in front of him. he had always known that he would always love her, no matter in which reality they found themselves. and he had fallen in love with every one of her versions. and now he found himself falling for her new role. he had fallen deeply for amara in her role as mom. he couldn’t believe he had ever doubted. she was perfect. “what was the second name we chose again?”

“are you talking about anaïs?”

kylian’s smile grew bigger as he continued to stare at his daughter. he had learned the meaning of infinite love with amara but the term of unconditional love. it was this small human that taught him what it meant. what people were talking about when they talked about loving someone unconditionally. “yeah. i think she looks more like an anaïs.”

and looking at her, amara understood. she had stopped crying and was looking at her, as if she was taking in her new surroundings. she had been removed from the safe comfort of her mother’s womb and had now to get used to the outside. “anaïs-ada mbappe. welcome into the world.”

she pressed a soft kiss to her cheek before turning to look at kylian and both smiled. they had done it.

“t’es prête papa?” she asked him teasingly and motioned for him to step closer. “take off your shirt. it’s your time now.” — are you ready papa

she was tired. exhausted. there was fatigue written all over her face and yet her face still wore a smile as she watched kylian take off his shirt to have his first skin-to-skin with their daughter. he gently took anaïs out of her hands and sat down on the bed next to her.

he had her cradled against his chest, the warmth of his chest spreading was a connection between them. an expression of love sacred to only them. their phones were vibrating but they ignored it. only their little family mattered now. “salut ma princesse,” he whispered to her softly as she wrapped her hand around his finger. “moi, je suis ton papa. et je t’aime tellement.” — hello my princess. i’m your dad. and i love so much.

their tiny miracle was held in his warm embrace as time around them seemed to pause. no one else existed in their bubble that shielded them from reality going on outside. it was only them. and somehow, as they held their daughter in their hands, the idea of parenthood didn’t seem so scary anymore. amara fell happily asleep, knowing that they were going to do this chapter together.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐌

amara.imani and k.mbappe

liked by achrafhakimi, graceywood and 28.763.541 others

k.mbappe bienvenue au monde anaïs mbappé

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it was their first day at home. and with the first day also came the first night and the first cries.

it still felt so unreal to them how they had left their home as two and had come back with another person. their family addition that represented the proof of their love. putting her down for the first time in her room filled the air with a warm atmosphere. there was so much love around them as she placed anaïs in her bed after putting her to sleep. a small light of the nightlight they had bought cast a yellowish glow around the room, revealing a few of the fine details they had put into the room. their eyes did not leave their daughter, they were too much in awe of what they had created.

she’s woken up by anaïs’ soft cries in the night. a quick glance at the small clock next to the bed told her it was just one in the morning. she’s tired and every bone is begging her to stay in bed but her motherly intuition prevents her. turning, she saw kylian still sleeping profoundly next to her as she gets up to calm down their daughter.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you,” she asked her daughter in a gentle tone as she picked the small baby up and sat down with her on an armchair next to the crib. she thanked kylian’s brilliance for having had the idea of installing one next to the crib. “ça va, maman est là. maman va s’occuper de toi,” she soothed anaïs’ cries as she got ready to feed the little human in her arms. — it’s okay, mummy here. mummy is gonna take care of you

just as she had predicted, hunger had been the cause for her awakening as she watched anais latch onto her breasts, hands grabbing onto each side. her cries quickly subsided as the little girl got fed while amara tenderly stroked her cheek. she waited for a bit longer after making sure anais had burped and rocked her little princess back to sleep before joining her own bed again. she couldn’t even find it in herself to be mad at the way kylian was sleeping so profoundly, as if he hadn’t heard her cries. it was her first time experiencing motherly intuition and tending to her responsibilities. she placed a soft peck on his forehead before falling asleep again, her mind drifting away before she had even truly placed down her head on the pillow.

the second time anais woke up, it was kylian who tended to her needs. amara stirred, ready to get up but the french striker tells her to go back to sleep. that she was already exhausted enough and her body needed some rest. after changing her diaper, he instantly took off his shirt before picking up his daughter and putting her close to his chest. immediately her cries stopped when she felt her father’s warmth and comfort as his fingers gently brushed against her head. they stood in the same position for the next thirty minutes before anais fell asleep again, their small bond blossoming through moments like this. amara’s still heavily asleep when he slips back into bed again, wrapping his arm around her waist to find sleep again.

but his sleep didn't last for very long before they heard her cries again. this time though they had managed to find three more hours to sleep with the clock indicating that it was already eight in the morning. amara was about to get up to look after their daughter when kylian grabbed her hand, motioning for her to stay in bed.

“you went last time,” amara muttered tiredly, already looking for her slippers but kylian shook his head.

“go back to sleep cherie,” he interjected, putting a shirt on. “you need it more than me.”

“your holidays are over tomorrow. if anyone needs sleep it’s you.”

he shrugged, standing up and ready to go look after anais. “and you just gave birth a week ago. repose toi un peu,” he convinced her and she nodded, knowing it was useless to argue with him. she gave him a last kiss before closing her eyes again, fatigue instantly taking over. she didn’t know what had been the matter this time but since her cries quickly stopped at the sight of her father, she knew he had everything under control, her instincts could relax as she slept a bit more. — get some rest

she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. it’s the feeling of coldness next to her that managed to bring her out of her sleep even though she was still tired. she knows that kylian must be around somewhere with anaïs but she enjoyed staying in bed for the first time since she gave birth. regain all her forces.

there was an instant smile on her face when she saw her daughter in kylian’s hands while walking out their bedroom. her heart grew twice its size when spotted them on the sofa with kylian talking to her and anaïs having her eyes wide open. as if she was understanding or at least trying to follow what her father was telling her.

“regarde qui s’est réveillée,” he said softly to his daughter, noticing amara’s presence. “tu as vu maman?” — look who woke up

— did you see mummy?

“vous êtes trop beau ensemble,” she greeted him with a kiss as she sat down next to him and reached for their daughter. anaïs calmly got comfortable in her mother’s arms, not making much of a fuss as she got ready to eat. — you’re too beautiful together

she had a fond smile adorning her lips, looking at her daughter. this tiny human being that changed their lives around. even though she was only a week old, they could already recognize that she was her father’s photocopy. that she would be his except for the shape of her eyes. the one thing anaïs had inherited from her.

“t’es la femme la plus forte que je connais. je ne sais pas comment t’as fait. comment tu fais…,” he told her completely in awe which made amara chuckle. — you’re the strongest woman i know. i don’t know how you did it, how you do it

“et toi tu es l’homme le plus beau, magnifique de toute cette terre. no one i would rather have than you as the father of my baby. — you’re the most beautiful, amazing man on this earth

“she makes everything better,” kylian chuckled as he got up to prepare breakfast for them.

amara nodded, softly cradling her daughter while she breastfed her. her small little hands were placed firmly (as firm as they could be for a one week old) as she drank the breast milk.

“weird how i’m ready to go to war for someone i’ve practically known a week. and yet she’s the answer to everything.”

he understood that feeling better than anyone. if the world turned around him before, now his world turned around her. he was ready climb mountains, cross jungles or put the world on fire if it was necessary for his daughter’s happiness. he would do anything for her. “i love you two more than anything.”

his eyes held that famous sparkle as he spoke and amara leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. in the span of a week their lives had changed and they had been thrown into the world of parenthood. the one thing no matter how much one studied, there was never the perfect preparation. one would never know how parenthood actually worked out till they were parents. it was a new path to life.

amara and kylian had each other to overcome the hills and rocks that may have been put onto their way. anaïs was the confirmation of what they had always been. a family. their bubble was finished and perfect now. they had everything they needed.

taglist: @lorarri @aechii

[faerieroyal]

𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘’𝐒 𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐄’𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐒 !

— ❥ 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐩𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢 + 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

( warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of crying, my wishful thinking for the upcoming f1 season )

“and that’s it! oscar piastri is the winner of the 2024 australian grand prix!”

for possibly the very first time, you’re very glad you and oscar don’t have any pets; it’s entirely possible the scream you let out right at this moment would give any small animals in hearing distance a heart attack. leaping off of your bed, you let the adrenaline and pure joy of this moment overtake you, jumping all around your bedroom and whooping as you punch your fists into the air.

if you’re this excited, you muse once you’ve calmed down enough to pause and catch your breath, you can only imagine how happy and overwhelmed oscar must be feeling. he’s just won his first grand prix, and even better, he’s just won his home race.

your boyfriend has just become a formula one race winner. you wish, from the bottom of your heart, that you had a younger version of oscar standing in front of you right now, so you could tell him that all the work he was putting in would be worth it some day. you suspect that oscar himself would probably want to do the same thing.

practically flinging yourself back onto your bed, you pull your computer back onto your lap, just in time to watch max verstappen shower your boyfriend in champagne from where he stands on the second step of the podium. oscar laughs on your screen as the golden liquid pours over his shoulders and turns to spray max in return, but the camera filming him also picks up the red rimming his eyes and the tears still glistening on his face - happy tears, you can only assume, from all the emotions he must be feeling at a moment as amazing as this.

he looks strangely beautiful like this, taking a moment to drink from his own champagne bottle with skin flushed from adrenaline and emotion and glistening with overjoyed tears and champagne, and you wish desperately that you could be there with him. you’d both known going into this relationship that you wouldn’t be able to attend every race, of course, since you have a life of your own and a job that doesn’t allow you to work remotely, but that doesn’t mean not being there in person to celebrate with him after a good race or comfort him after a bad one doesn’t suck sometimes. it sucks more than ever right now, when something as fucking incredible as this has just happened and you can’t be there to give your talented, beautiful oscar a congratulatory kiss and spend the whole night telling him how proud you are of him.

once the stream on your computer switches to media interviews, you switch it off and close the laptop - as much as you want to keep watching oscar basking in the glow of his win, you know he hates media anyway, and as mean as it might be, you don’t really want to have to sit through the interviews with other drivers that will be shown before they get to your boyfriend. besides, you still have things to get done tonight while you wait for oscar to give you his usual after-race call.

it’s something you and oscar always do, after a race and the debrief and everything else he has to do on a race. normally, your facetime calls can last for hours as you talk and laugh and sometimes just stay silent, taking each other in, and they’re something you’ve come to treasure, but you’re sure your call tonight won’t last nearly as long. oscar has just won his first formula one race; no doubt he’s going to be taken out to party and celebrate the moment he’s showered and changed, and that isn’t going to leave a lot of time for a call with you. which, honestly, you’re more than fine with - you want him to go out and have fun, to celebrate his win even if you can’t be there to do it with him.

the call comes in as you’re sitting on your living room couch folding laundry, a candid picture of oscar making an exaggeratedly sour face in his mcclaren suit popping up on your phone screen. hurriedly you toss the pair of shorts you’ve been folding to the side and scoop up the phone to answer it, oscar’s beautiful, smiling face taking up your screen as the connection goes through.

“oscar jack fucking piastri,” you exclaim before he has the chance to get a word out. “how dare you win your first race without me there. i oughta break up with you right now.”

oscar chuckles, dipping his head and allowing a few stray strands of hair to fall into his face, making him look terribly soft and sweet. his hair still looks sticky with champagne and sweat, you notice; he didn’t even wait to shower before calling you.

“well, sorry about that,” he replies in an amused voice. “here’s hoping you’ll be there when i win the next one so we can celebrate properly. i mean, lando offered to give me a congrats kiss in your place, but i doubt he would’ve been any good at it.”

you lean your head back laughing at that, before agreeing, “yeah, here’s hoping. so what are you doing to celebrate? gonna show lando and logan australia’s hottest clubs?”

oscar snorts, and then says something totally and completely unexpected, at least to you: “nah. ‘m staying in tonight. would rather talk to you anyway.”

“what?” you burst out, shocked. you’ve known since you met him that oscar’s never really been one for crowded social settings, especially ones as loud as clubs tend to be, but you’d assumed this would be an exception. “oscar, you just won a fucking formula one race. your first one. and you’re not gonna go out and celebrate that?”

“i am celebrating,” he replies, completely casually, like the two of you are just talking about the weather and you’re not trying to talk him out of ditching celebrating a race win just to talk to you. “i’m celebrating by spending the whole night talking to my awesome partner who I really wish was actually here right now - or at least the whole night after i take a shower, probably, ‘cause my hair feels kinda gross right now-” he runs a hand through his locks, looking a bit sheepish. “-instead of going out and getting shitfaced and watching logan completely fail at flirting. much rather be doing this than that, i promise.”

once the shock of his plans for the night fades, you think, for a brief second, that you could honestly cry right now. here’s your boyfriend, having just achieved a dream that you know he’s been working towards since he was old enough to drive a kart, and instead of going out and drinking and dancing with his friends to celebrate… he just wants to spend the night talking to you. it’s such a simple expression of love, really, simple and wordless, but it’s so utterly tender and sweet that you wish, not for the first time tonight, that you were there with oscar right now, so you could kiss all over his beautiful face and let him know how much you love him right back.

“i mean, unless you had plans tonight,” oscar continues, completely oblivious to your adoring inner monologue, and his sheepish expression increases. “sorry, i should’ve asked, it’s totally cool if you have something else-”

“no, no,” you interrupt, shaking your head vehemently. “i don’t have any plans, it’s fine. and even if i did i’d probably cancel them. i’d rather be here with you than somewhere else, too, osc.”

oscar blinks in response to that, before a shy little half-smile takes over his face, and he asks softly, “yeah?”

“yeah,” you say with a soft smile of your own, and you hope that that facial expression conveys everything you can’t quite put into words - how much you love him, how unbelievably proud you are of him, how absolutely fucking grateful you are to have him in your life, to have someone who will do things like this for you without a second thought, because that’s just the kind of person he is.

you’re pretty sure a simple smile doesn’t convey all of that, but you’re also not sure you’ll ever be able to put all of that into words that will convey how much you mean the sentiment. so you settle, in this moment, for doing what oscar wants: you settle back into the couch cushions, bring your legs up to your chest so that you can rest the hand holding your phone on your knee, and begin, “so, you will not believe what happened at work today…”

formula one taglist: @whiskeyswriting, @lovings4turn !

general taglist: @maddipoof, @thatmagickjuju, @talkingturnedtoscreamss, @malafvma, @auxiliarydetective, @heliads, @oneirataxia-girl !

( send me an ask if you want to be added to a taglist !! )

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Happily ever after

What does Idia's hair feel like. Does it feel like fire? How does it not burn anything? I have many questions about Idia's hair, but none of them will ever be answered. How sad.

Not proofread sorry!!!!

Warning(s): yandere/stalker Idia, fem reader, stockholm syndrome, implied pregnancy (at the very end)

You met a guy online recently. He calls himself Gloomy Samurai, he's cool and all, but he can be very unintentionally creepy sometimes. But you assumed you were misunderstanding him. After all, it is hard to understand tone over the internet...

But you were wrong about him.

He knew a lot about you. A lot more than you thought he knew. He knew your address, your age, the colour of your hair and eyes, despite you not telling him any of that. Oh, but of course he never let you know he knew that... no, you'd think he was a creep! Your interest in him would drop to zero, he'd get the bad end!

That's why he can't let you know. He'll get your good end for sure. After all, dating is just like a game... and he is very good at games.

gloomy_samurai: where do you live btw gloomy_samurai: nothing specific obviously gloomy_samurai: just like a general area

(Y/N): That sounds like something a ☆stalker☆ would ask

gloomy_samurai: ah seven gloomy_samurai: you're right gloomy_samurai: r.i.p. me i guess gloomy_samurai: i'm not stalking you

(Y/N): Ye I know (Y/N): Just messing with u (Y/N): As for where I live (Y/N): Queendom of Roses

gloomy_samurai: really?! gloomy_samurai: no way!! i'm on a vacation there rn!

(Y/N): Woah really? (Y/N): What a coincidence

gloomy_samurai: yeah lol gloomy_samurai: i doubt we're anywhere near each other tho gloomy_samurai: but it'd be cool if we were gloomy_samurai: it'd be nice to meet you in person

(Y/N): Well, maybe we can! (Y/N): Where abouts are you at?

Idia couldn't believe what he was reading. You, wanted to meet up with him! In real life! Sure, he's seen pictures of you on your social medias, it's a completely different experience to see you irl!!

Sure, it means he'll have to, you know, go outside, but whatever! We all make sacrifices for love!

He continued making his plans with you, knowing that soon you two would take your relationship to the next level.

You walked into the coffee shop, hoping to get yourself a breakfast wrap and a doughnut.

You sat down at one of the booth seats, with your newly aquired and much-needed breakfast. It was a nice day. Your wrap tasted good. It was raining outside, but not enough to ruin everything.

But then, someone sat down across from you. He had two cups of coffee, he was wearing a hoodie, his eyes were yellow, and his lips a vibrant blue.

"Hi, (Y/N)~!" He said.

"Do I... know you...?" You asked him.

"Heehee! Of course you do, (Y/N)! But I guess I've never shown you myself... whoops." He shrugged. "Ba bababa baaaa~! It's Gloomy Samurai!" He imitated some kind of video game reveal sound.

"Wait, really?!" You asked. "Wow, you're... different than I expected. N-not a bad different, obviously!"

"It's fine, it's fine, but uh... p-people are... staring at us..." He said, nervously looking around. "Oh seven, I-I shouldn't've done that stupid reveal sound...! Why did I think a bunch of normies wouldn't think that was weird? Dammit!"

"Just act natural, things'll be fine." You assured him.

"A-a-alright, i-if you insist..."

"So what's your name?" You aksed.

"Huh-?"

"I mean, I only know your username, and that's a bit strange to say out in public... y'know, just casually referring to you as Gloomy Samurai might raise some eyebrows." You mentioned. "People might think that's a bit... weird."

"Oh, yeah, I guess... uh, my name's... I-Idia." He said, looking away from you. "And I already know your name, since you use it as your username, which you should change by the way. Anyone could find out who you are with that. Rookie mistake."

"Yeah, I've been meaning to change it..."

"So you live here, huh? Maybe you could, uh... s-show me around, or something?" Idia blushed. His hair was mostly hidden in the hoodie he was wearing, but the bits you could see, you noticed the tips turn pink.

"Oh, sure! That sounds fun! A nice walk in the rain together while I show you around my hometown..."

He didn't need you to do that. He's been keeping track of you for a while. He knows everything about your hometown. But of course... he has to pretend that isn't true.

He's always thought your name was so cute. It would go so well with his last name... (Y/N) Shroud... how fitting! How adorable! He's thought of that more than a few times... the two of you getting married, having two children, having a cute little kitten, living a perfect happily ever after... yes, he's thought about it so much.

You had no idea he thought that, however. Idia was good at hiding it.

You had no idea that when Idia's 'vacation' was over, you would be returning home with him.

Idia was delighted. His life turned out exactly as he'd predicted!

The two of you have a five-year-old daughter, and a baby on the way. You also have an adorable little kitten!

Idia entered your room, closing the door behind him.

"I, uh... I-I got you dinner, darling...!"

You were chained to the bed, tears stained your face.

But the strange thing is...

Every passing day, you feel like you're beginning to actually fall in love with Idia.

[cjstheshethey]

I really wanna talk about Blue Beetle and why it's so important to me. SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

Ever since this movie was announced, I was excited because I have familiarized myself with the character of Jaime Reyes for over a decade now. My sister introduced to me to the character when we had our late night Young Justice marathons during a vacation in Mexico back in 2013. Eventually, we got to season 2, where Jaime was introduced. I remember when he would speak Spanish, I would say "Hey he speaks Spanish like us!" And sometimes my non-English speaking cousins would join us watching the show, and when he spoke Spanish, they were able to understand him. As time went on I kinda forgot about DC for a while since I was gaining other interests until Young Justice came back for its 3rd and 4th seasons(This is also your subtle sign that if you haven't watched Young Justice you should do that). Naturally, Jaime is still one of my favorite characters in the show. While I was still in my Young Justice hyperfixation, It was announced that a Blue Beetle movie was happening and even had some concept art shown. Me being the superhero loving Mexican nerd that I am, I was already hyped, and we hadn't even gotten a trailer yet. Then, on April 3rd of this year, the first trailer came out, and I was so excited. DC has been one of my special interests since literally as long as I can remember no joke one of the first shows I ever remember seeing was the original Teen Titans and so combine one of my special interests with one of the most important parts of my identity(my ethnicity) and an excuse to go to the movies? I was stoked. And so I finally saw it a couple of days ago, and I LOVED it. From the family dynamic to the music choices(La Chona in the beginning where Rudy was introduced was the most Mexican introduction ever and I love it.) and even a few references to Mexican culture I didn't expect, Blue Beetle was everything to me. Finally a movie centered around a Mexican family that wasn't afraid to go into topics like immigration and straight up racism towards Mexicans and those topics not taking up the whole story while also not stereotyping any of these characters and treating them like real people. These guys did their research, and it showed. During the part where Jaime comes back to Earth and starts saying something in Spanish, he's saying a prayer. I used to say that particular prayer a lot back when I was a kid, which is a good thing they added that in there because it makes relatable to someone like me. I really wanna make note of one of my favorite scenes from the movie. So after Jaime gets the Scarab and it attaches itself to him, he tries to find a way to get it off him. Once they go to Ted Kords' hidden lab and find out he can't get rid of it safely, he angerly walks out. His uncle Rudy follows him up to the roof. Rudy asks if Jaimes ok and Jaime apologizes for yelling at Rudy. Rudy then starts giving a really good talk about the family and how resilient they are. Then he says this. "I mean, look at your old man. He brought me here from Sonora....when I was 10." No joke, just ask @alextric-overload(Hey dude 😁) and my other friends who came with me, I legitimately gasped in that theater. Why? Because that's where my family is from. Never before did I ever imagine Sonora would even be mentioned in any media let alone a big screen superhero movie but I am so glad it was and I've said it before and I'll say it again: Never in my life have I felt so seen and so represented. The moment those credits rolled, I legit said word for word, "This! This is how you do representation. MORE. OF. THIS. PLEASE." This is why representation is so important because if we continue to make movies like this, more people like me can see themselves in media and feel the way I did. REPRESENTATION MATTERS! So please go support this movie if you haven't already, it's so worth it!

[ripplestitchskein]

The Story Foundations

Episode 2: LooLoo Land

Please see the master post for this series here. As always I try to only view this through what is shown in the canon content of the show, I don’t take into account outside media like the Sinstagram posts or things stated outside the text by the creators unless they are incredibly important as I feel the text should have everything the audience needs.

Let us begin.

The first thing I wanna talk about is the episode’s warning. Which sounds strange until you realize it warns for “sad horny demons”. A huge criticism I see, and that people often complain about, is Stolas “turning into” a sad owl boy and I talk about it a lot in my metas because the text tells us the opposite constantly. I just thought it was hilarious that the opening warning on the 2nd episode ever actually warns the audience about this outright. I also love that it’s plural, because Blitzø is also a sad horny demon. Honestly most of them are.

Anyway, to the episode:

The first shot is an establishing shot on Stolas’s huge mansion, specifically the balcony. I’m going to spend a few minutes here because I think the contrast between the Pilot (which is firmly non-canon but will come up a few times here to illustrate some key points).

The colors in the original Pilot for Stolas are desaturated, his royal iconography is his actual face coming out of a book and wearing a crown. There are other little marks in the stone that look like the book with fire coming out of it, and little crowns. The building is gray and a dull reddish pink and looks very blocky and severe. The balcony is the central focus of the establishing shot because Blitzø will exit it later but it’s very small.

In the actual canon our first time seeing the palace is just as grand but the building is more reflective of the “new” Stolas. I can’t think of a better visual representation of a character undergoing development changes in the pre-production phase of the creative process. It really shows how much the direction with Stolas changed as they began the real fleshing out process with him. The new palace is beautifully saturated, constellations on the walls, phases of the moon and plant vines in gold replace the previous iconography. The doors are a sun and moon. And the balcony is huge and centrally focused. I love that instead of the front of the palace or an overhead shot to show its grandeur we come in again at the balcony which is so pivotal throughout the series.

We have a voice over of a scared child calling for “Mommy, Daddy”. Initially I read this as her calling for whoever but rewatching and with more context from the episode and show overall I kind of read it now, after hearing what her nightmare was about, as Mommy, Daddy! She’s calling for her mother because something has happened to her father. The only reason I mention it is because of the episode being focused on the Father/Daughter relationship, the fact that Stella says “You do it” when Stolas wakes her saying Via is calling, and that a source of Octavia’s anxiety is her father leaving and being unable to find him (I have A LOT of theories about this as foreshadowing, especially with Stella dismissing her daughter and not being a source of comfort in the past or present, but that’s another post for another time).

This is one of those things where I war with knowing as a writer that you will absolutely make deliberate decisions like this with otherwise mundane dialogue, but also that sometimes you write things without further intent because that’s just a normal thing people say. Kids wake up yelling for their caregivers. But there is also a very real thing in productions like this where every line and every visual counts and is poured over and deliberate. Not only because you are paying people to perform and animate it, so you can’t waste it, but also because it’s such a short format, a lot has to happen in 13-30 minutes and you don’t want to waste a second . However, in this show, sometimes the dialogue is for the joke, because the VA improvised something funny, or for the shock value, so I don’t know how deep I should get, or how much emphasis to put on some things. I do my best.

So I’m not sure if it’s actually speaking to anything deeper, I might be putting more on this than needs to be said, but that’s who I am as a person.

Anyway, Octavia is having a bad dream. The visuals of her room are really telling. Her artwork is stars and moons and drawings of her and her father. The portrait is her and her father. Her nightmare is not about her losing her parents, but her father specifically. Most of this is to setup the episode conflict for Via about losing him and the overall stress of a divorce on a child, but some of it is also to show the disparity between her relationship with each of her parents. It is Stolas who gets up to console her, it is Stolas who features in the decor of her childhood bedroom, it is Stolas who reaches out to spend time with her later.

The grimoire follows Stolas into the room, and we get a new glimpse into his abilities, both the telekinesis and the portal.

Stolas begins singing, the song really sets up his main character drivers, he used to think he was bold, he used to think love would be fun, he feels his stories have already been told except for Via’s. He tells us he is dissatisfied with his life except for Via from very early on. This really gives us a quick brush of what underlies Stolas’s issues in the series and it’s a beautiful song. Baby Octavia being comforted and sleeping even through this grand collapse of a celestial body happening around her, because she is safe with her father is just great visually.

Octavia falls asleep peacefully and the scene abruptly changes to the present day and the contrast between then and now. Her room is devoid of any indications of her father now. There are no pictures or drawings on the wall.

She is awakened from sleep by the sound of her parent’s fighting, of Stella throwing things and yelling about Stolas fucking an imp.

Stella’s issue doesn’t seem to be that Stolas slept with someone else, but that who he slept with is an imp. Stolas says it happened so fast he didn’t have time to get a hotel and Stella is more concerned that getting a hotel is plebeian and lower class. This really shows us the state of their relationship, these aren’t people who were in a committed marriage where the adultery was the issue on either side. Stella isn’t mad he cheated, she’s mad about who he cheated with, and Stolas doesn’t feel guilty he cheated, just that he didn’t have time to do it more discreetly.

Octavia puts on a very apt song about her world burning down around her. Stella is throwing plants and servants.

“Do you want to fuck this one too?”

“No of course not.”

“You are a fucking embarrassment.”

This dialogue tells reinforces two things, that the issue is not the actual cheating for Stella but the social class of who he cheated with. For Stolas it’s not an imp fetish, or fucking someone of a lower station, but a very specific person.

There is a portrait in the room of a happier Stolas and Stella with Octavia with the LooLoo Land apple. Stella has her arms crossed and she’s slightly apart but her face is indulgent and slightly smiling. Stolas is focused entirely on Octavia and smiling hugely. A little sign that they both tried to make the best of things, especially for Octavia. Their home was at one point a happier one. At least visually, I talk a lot about how images are important to Stolas, this one is no exception, we see a relatively happy family but the underlying truth is that it wasn’t, Stolas sang about his unhappiness as early as Via’s childhood and we see the truth in the show’s reality.

Stella exits, screaming and destroying more things. Stolas meanwhile does what Stolas does and acts bright and cheery, greeting his daughter exuberantly like nothing is wrong. She mentions she’s listening to a song My World is Burning Down Around Me by Fuck You Dad, which we could jokingly think of as “theme stared”.

She’s asks if they are done screaming for the day, followed by Stella screaming and Stolas ignoring the question entirely and suggesting they go to LooLoo Land. Octavia is not thrilled with the idea, saying she is not five anymore, a time when she was happier and her family wasn’t falling apart.

Stolas says he’s arranging for security and he is very pumped up by his recent dalliance, exuding a different sort of confidence about people wanting them for their money and their bodies.

We get Stolas saying “the only man who can fuck me” and Octavia being rightfully weirded out. This line tells us he’s not actually calling because he needs a service, he wants to spend time with Blitzø.

Cut to Blitzø in his office being fucking bizarre with the Millie and Moxxie dolls and shoving them in his pants.

On his desk, and the focus of most of the shot, is a picture that says #1 Bitch with it written out and replaced with Boss but he appears to be wearing a robe very similar to Stolas’s (it does not appear to be the exact same one though) with a black rose in his mouth and on the picture is a paper crown that Blitzo dons with a little musical noise as he talks to the Goetia. The camera focuses on this picture for a long time and during the course of their conversation Blitzø moves the picture around to face him and dons the crown. I lost my mind a little noticing this detail. The picture was facing away while he was being weird with the dolls but when Stolas calls he puts them away, moves it to face him and puts on the crown that is a major motif for Stolas. Super interesting visual.

Stolas calls him his big dicked Imp and we have the cut away shots switching between Blitzø and Octavia saying What the Fuck and spit taking while Stolas tells them to watch their language which is hilarious…ya know considering. They have a rather disturbing conversation about Stolas planting his feathered ass but ultimately agree that Stolas will pay them money to protect them at the park. This is the first time we get the hint that Blitzø and Octavia think along similar lines, or mirror each other. The other comes later with Fizzarolli when they say “I hate that fucking clown”. I like that the two most important people in Stolas’s life are on the same wavelength so deliberately and so early in the show. It’s a very intentional choice.

It is also a progression point. Here Blitzø only agrees to do this for money. In Western Energy that isn’t even discussed even though the same service is provided.

A few other key things here, Octavia doesn’t seem to feel a body guard is necessary for a theme park. She seems to find the entire idea of needing a body guard to be foreign. It’s presented for what it is, as an excuse for Stolas to spend time with Blitzø. Yet at the park there are actually imp assassins following them around that Blitzø has to take care of. So there is a “threat” but Stolas seems capable of handling it himself later, and we also find out down the line that only angelic weapons can actually do any real damage to him.

The ultimate takeaway is Stolas is being selfish and focusing on this new sexual relationship at the expense of his daughter. He suggests a fun outing for them to recapture happier times but immediately uses it as an excuse to bring in the reason for the unhappiness. This scene serves as the final setup for the episodes conflict: Octavia’s fear of losing her dad, this time not because of a bad dream, but because of his affair with the imp he is forcing into their lives.

To be honest, it’s not my favorite scene or episode. I find both Blitzø and Stolas off putting in it, but the episode setup is complete, we are going to LooLoo Land, Blitzø, Moxxie and Millie are coming along for work. Octavia does not want to go.

We arrive at LooLoo Land in the IMP van. Stolas gets immediately into the role of fun theme park dad, donning his little apple hat. Stolas’s outfits often reflect the image he is trying to cultivate and that’s in full effect here. Octavia is reluctant and dragging her feet. She is telegraphing loudly she does not want to be here.

Blitzø lays out ground rules that they are here in a professional capacity and Stolas is not to fuck him or attempt to. Stolas brushes this off and says he’s cute. Octavia is revolted by her dad’s behavior. Blitzø also likens their arrangement to sex work, he is very firmly in that mindset. He later says he’s not a dayhooker. Later, as I previously stated the monetary compensation and even the grimoire deal is not mentioned as much, because their relationship and how they initially view it changes.

Moxxie goes into anxiety mode pulling out antacids and all kinds of stuff from a fanny pack. He does not like theme parks and has not been to one before while Millie is having a lot of nostalgia and excitement about the day.

Octavia asks about the park, revealing that it’s not LuLu World but a knockoff and the entire vibe of the park and its rundown appearance reinforce that. This world building will carry through to the Mammon special. The cast splits, Moxxie and Millie go off to enjoy the park and Blitzø goes with Stolas and Octavia.

I won’t break down all their scenes as they are largely irrelevant to the plot of the episode, but we get some backstory and dynamic stuff for Moxxie and Millie. Millie came from a poorer background but seemed to have a good family who took her to amusement parks when they could afford it, and she has fond memories of the place. Moxxie is trying to prove himself to his wife and is competing with someone for her even though she never indicates she needs it or that it’s even a competition. Moxxie does this with Striker later. Moxxie continues this cycle of poor self worth, trying to prove himself and failing, because he doesn’t actually need to.

Blitzø is acting very professional and taking his job seriously. Stolas is disregarding that, continuing to flirt, and we get our first basis for some of the reasons Blitzø won’t believe him later in the show. In this episode Stolas is very dismissive of his job and calls them imps several times in a very denigrating way. Stolas flirts and sexualizes Blitzø at the expense of his daughter and that conflict is very present the whole time until the end when he has that wake up call when she runs away from him.

Stolas is not a perfect father, he is not a perfect person. He has a taste of the sexual relationship he’s been craving and goes too far, and is too oblivious about how that affects others, to the detriment of everyone around him and to himself. Stolas’s obliviousness to other’s needs in service to the image he wants to project is really center stage here. He thinks Octavia loves Fizzarolli, that he was a happy memory, but we see in flashbacks she was actually terrified and hates the clown. Stolas is so caught up in having this perfect father daughter day he doesn’t pick up on her cues and keeps forcing her into things she doesn’t want to do. He doesn’t do this maliciously, or from a place of ill intent, just like he doesn’t oversexualize Blitzø for predatory reasons, he just lives in fantasy because he hates reality and he tries to bring those fantasies into reality by forcing it and being oblivious to other’s needs. As I talked about in the breakdown of the Ozzie’s scene Stolas goes out of his way to force things into the image he wants to project: a dad having a happy bonding day with his daughter.

This is Stolas’s main character flaw and it’s revealed here in this episode.

Blitzø is largely there to highlight this flaw. Stolas brought along the reason for the family’s destruction into this day that was supposed to be about his daughter. He’s trying to put up this happy front but the reason it’s not going well is his own actions. When Stolas ignores cues that Octavia doesn’t want to be there and flirts with Blitzø again after he takes out one of the assassins, Octavia gets fed up and leaves. Stolas goes after her.

Blitzø starts to follow but is called out by the Fizzbot. He stays in the tent and we get a little hint of Blitzø’s backstory with Fizzarolli, and Blitzo’s previous job at LooLoo land.

Fizzarolli asks him the super important question “Does anyone love you” just barely hinting at Blitzø’s character need, but present early on in the show and explicitly stated. This is almost exactly what happens with actual Fizzarolli in Ozzie’s. Seeing him in a crowd, calling him out and asking if anyone loves him.

Blitzø says no here, but he’s really good with guns now, and starts shooting at him. He then burns the circus down (*sings* foooorreshaadowwing). This is super interesting because it’s a setup for something we see change later. In Ozzie’s, Fizzarolli calls out to Blitzo in the exact same way, and asks him the exact same question. The next time he’s asked Blitzo doesn’t say no, he looks nervously at Stolas. That’s development baby. That’s growth.

Blitzø seems to have a lot of pent up anger for the Fizz bot and that’s a pin the writer’s setup early on to be explored later. We as the audience get information on some of his previous failures, his main conflict (the lack of and need for, love), and that these things are connected with this Fizzarolli person that Blitzo seems to hate to the point of burning down an amusement park to kill his proxy.

Meanwhile Stolas follows Octavia into the funhouse, an assassin goes for him and annoyed he says he is supposed to be bodyguarded. Millie takes out the assassin and he is dismissive of them, “not you littler ones”, and again shows us that he is playing out a fantasy. Blitzø is his knight in shining armor, even if he doesn’t actually need one, and he will contrive a situation to live that fantasy out (he could just turn the imps to stone but he wants Blitzø to have opportunities to save him).

This moment is really minimized in this episode but it’s huge when you look at Western Energy, as it’s directly reflected there. In that episode Stolas is in actual danger instead of contrived danger, Blitzø doesn’t think it’s an issue because he knows Stolas sets up these little scenarios for his fantasy. Except this time it’s real and his knight in shining armor once again does not save him, he’s saved by Moxxie and Millie again. It’s also when Bliztø realizes that Stolas can actually get hurt, that he really did need a knight in shining armor and Bliztø was not there. The fantasy he plays at in LooLoo Land becomes reality, but when it plays out this time Stolas actually gets hurt, Blitzø doesn’t save him. They both are faced with reality. I love things like this. A direct callback with change due to a character’s growth throughout the story? It’s beautiful.

Also, just to theorize a bit, this is a prime setup for the rule of three. In fiction things are often called back to three times, with gradual changes each time to contrast them and show the overall change in circumstance each time.

The first time at LooLoo Land, Stolas doesn’t actually need saving, he is safe but he wanted it and Blitzø wasn’t there. He’s disappointed. The second time in Western Energy Stolas does actually need saving but Blitzø isn’t there again and realizes at the end he should have been. Stolas is hurt emotionally and physically this time. Presumably, the third time Stolas will be in real danger, but this time he will assume Blitzø is not coming because he never has before, but this time Blitzø will be there, he will be what Stolas has been wanting. It would be a beautiful progression of their relationship and a great way to show the development and progression.

Back to the episode.

Stolas moves into the funhouse and has his needed heart to heart with Octavia. Octavia point blank says that this entire situation is his fault, he just spent the whole time flirting with Blitzø and ignoring how she felt. That this place was happy for her once but he ruined it with this affair. Stolas apologies for this and he tries to explain himself but fails. He doesn’t have the words. The general gist of his started and stopped sentences is that Stella and Stolas were not in love, that Stella has flaws, that he has flaws and he wants something else and always has. He doesn’t even know at this point what he wants, he can’t articulate it. The starts and stops are well done in that they tell the story without actually stating it, enough is given for audience inference but the character still doesn’t know. He doesn’t apologize for the affair itself but for causing her pain, he tries to explain why he did it but can’t. We’ll see him discover this as the show goes on but at this point he doesn’t know himself. He was enjoying the sexually charged fantasy but he was doing that at the expense of his daughter, and to a smaller degree in this episode, Blitzø.

Octavia expresses the fear setup at the beginning of the episode. That her father is going to leave her. Like he does in the flashback, he reassures her that is not going to happen. He would never willingly leave her. I also theorize that this is prophecy or foreshadowing. There will come a point where Stolas is gone and Octavia will need to help deal with it. There may be clues dropped in this episode when that day comes so something to keep an eye on. This is another candidate for the rule of three, Octavia dreams her father is gone, he finds her consoles her. Octavia fears her father will leave and her dream will become a reality, he finds her and consoles her. Later potentially he will be gone, and she will have to console herself and find him.

He tells her she was right, it’s time to go and like the flashback he carries her through the burning chaos of the circus, calling back to the celestial destruction, and then asks her what she actually wants. He gives her a choice. It’s the first sign of his character growth, he tried to force what he wanted on her to fulfill his fantasy but in the end he asks her and gives her a choice and autonomy.

This again is paralleled in Western Energy. It takes a big destructive moment for Stolas to realize he is ignoring what others want in service to his fantasies, and he takes the lesson he learned in LooLoo Land first to later give Blitzø what he wants after the events of that episode. The difference is that Octavia tells her father what she wants explicitly and then he gives it to her. She wants to spend time doing something she likes with her dad.

With Blitzø, what he tells Stolas with his actions and words is not what he actually feels and Stolas tries to handle it the same way using what he learns here, by giving it to him and giving him a choice, but we know it will ultimately be unsuccessful until Blitzø does what Octavia does and just tells him.

Blitzø, Moxxie and Millie fall in front of them.

Moxxie says something really interesting “Way to ruin another good thing, sir” which just has so many potential implications. Blitzø says it was worth it in this instance.

As I said before, this episode is not my favorite. We have a conflict (Octavia fearing her dad is going to leave her) and resolution (he promises he won’t and takes steps to show her) we have some character flaws introduced, the first mention of Blitzø’s character issue, a lot of exploration of Stolas’s and a lesson learned for Stolas that will be applied later by him in a similar way: giving the person he wronged a choice. We have a very loose three act structure but little stakes, and the plot is much more character driven than plot driven.

Overall we setup several things the writers explore much further down the road in Season 2 but the structure is not as cohesive and tight as it was in episode 1.

It’s a weak episode but it has strong setups for further exploration and looking at it with the context of what happens down the line shows that the writer’s do take into consideration what was introduced and continue the development begun here.

What’s important about LooLoo Land is that it shows us early that Stolas and his family drama and his relationship with Blitzø is a vitally important part of the show overall. If Stolas was just a plot driver or sexual comic relief character we wouldn’t get an entire episode devoted to his relationship with his daughter. He is shown to the audience as a whole character with this own flaws, desires and back and forward story to be explored. It’s also the 2nd episode of the series, so his establishment is only 2nd to the establishment of IMP and the overall premise. I harp on this a lot because most of the anti Stolas things I see ignore this fact completely. They reduce him down to the presentation of the OG Pilot instead of the direction the creators actually went, a pivotal main character going on his own journey within this story. (In my opinion if they had stuck to the original premise this show would be much much weaker and less compelling overall, but that’s a post for a different day.)

We are introduced to Stolas and his relationships even before Blitzø’s. We don’t even know that Loona is his daughter yet at this point in the canon text. We know nothing at all about Barbie Wire, his family, or anything outside of IMP. This is because this affair, the fall out, and the future consequences are CENTRAL to the entire show, they are why IMP exists, and they are central to Blitzø and his own growth and development. The same can be said of Fizzarolli, there’s a reason that backstory is hinted at in a Stolas episode. The question he keeps asking Blitzø, does anyone love you is first linked here. The events that take place in LooLoo Land are directly reflected in Ozzie’s and in Western Energy later. These setups take place so early on in the show’s run and are continually fleshed out and paid off as it continues.

The episode itself is weak but the foundations it lays are incredibly strong.

[thedinanshiral]

The Missing

Having read the latest Dragon Age comic there's really not much i have to say about it. We follow Varric and Harding on their mission to find Solas, and get to see them meet some characters from previous comics like the Crows Viago and Teia, and some Tevinter Nights characters as well. The premise is simple: there's an artifact somewhere and everyone's trying to get it -Solas, the Venatori-, and our party is trying to find Solas so there they go. We get to see a little bit of Tevinter, and a little bit of the Arlathan Forest which only made me wonder how certain things could be made in the next game (distorsions in the very fabric of space-time are always interesting to me, there's a lot that could be made with that setting, gameplay wise).

As i think i've mentioned before, these side media are often made in preparation for the next installment in the series, the Dragon Age comics have rarely been lore-heavy for newcomers and hints for veterans are few and cute but not exactly groundbreaking (they better leave that for the actual game!)

Only one frame caught my attention:

In this scene out party has arrived at the temple lost in the Arlathan Forest where they expected to find the coveted artifact and Solas himself. Alas, both are gone already, but we as the readers are treated to these murals, one familiar and one not.

I'm not saying Solas was the only elf capable of making such murals but he's been practically designated as the artist behind nearly every elvhen mural seen so far, and that wolf one is no exception.

Is the location in the comic the same as in the trailer? We can't tell for now.

But it's the other part of the mural that i have to focus on. I had seen it before -spoilers can be unavoidable sometimes - and it bothers me considerably that it wasn't until i saw it on my own copy that i realized something.

People almost immediately interpreted the figures to be Ghilan'nain and Andruil, particularly because the one standing has a headpiece that very much resembles one of the upside-down figures in the trailer's mural

This, coupled with some previous concept art led people to believe the figure should be Ghilan'nain..

...or is she?

You see, the recent Dragon Age vinyl came with gorgeous cover variants, depicting the city of Arlathan before and after Solas' action, and the latter shows what seem to be the faces of most of the other Evanuris

Their headpieces are the same as shown in another part of the trailer

The moment this one came out everyone tried to guess what design corresponded to which Evanuris. I tried it too but didn't take notes so excuse me i'm not trying again now,maybe later

When i looked at that panel in the comic, it hit me. The sitting figure, with the half-moon headpiece, the same as in one of the gods on the trailer mural, the same as the grotesque sea monster...might not be Ghilan'nain. Despite all possible readings covered so far, it may actually be..Andruil.

"Whaaaaaat??" you may say, but hear me out. Check the body language in that mural. It's loving, tender, one is lying on the other's lap, they look like lovers. As Andruil and Ghilan'nain are presumed to have been. With Andruil being the senior one, i think it makes more sense for her to be the one sitting, looking down at the other resting on her lap. If the headpieces the Evanuris wore were in any way related to their name or atributes, that alone changes how this scene can be understood. The resting figure's headpiece looks like two horns; which Evanuris was related to anything with horns...antlers...halla? Ghilan'nain Mother of Halla. She was so proud of the halla, the creation that granted her godhood, the one that still roams the land, why wouldn't she reference her finest work with her crown?

Whereas the other figure, seemingly more imposing, stronger perhaps, has a headpiece that closely resembles..a halfmoon, people thought. But let me offer an alternative: a bow. Andruil, goddess of the hunt. "Sister of the Moon, Mother of Hares, Lady of the Hunt". Her preferred weapon? Bow and arrow. We know Andruil hunted in the Abyss, that it drove her mad, tainted, and apparently Horror of Hormak distracted us all because we thought it had to be Ghilan'nain, with her experiments, her monstrous creations, her underground labs of lyrium-induced genetic disasters. But what if it's not her, but her lover? What if it's Andruil? She "put an armor made of the Void and made weapons of darkness. She brought plague to her lands and howled things meant to be forgotten". She could very well be the giant sea monster in concept art. Monsters so massive don't need weapons, and that one is holding a spear. The devs note mentions "evil gods", and ok sure, Evanuris being evil is kinda debatable but the one we know for sure lost her freaking mind was Andruil.

Besides asking who's who, i think we should also consider why they're depicted like this in a mural, specially if we consider the very likely possibility that Solas made it. We know very little of his relationship with the Evanuris, other than Mythal. He didn't approve of them for sure, but he also still holds a deep love for all his people. We have at least one story that connects him with Andruil and Ghilan'nain, which is a bit odd, to say the least.

That's all i have for now. I think i'll read all the pre-Dreadwolf comics soon and work with that. Thanks for reading :)

[true-blue-sonic]

.

My morning plans got cancelled, so I've been reading some of my more recent old fanfic. And it made me wonder... I feel as if I write the characters not so much in-character, especially Silver and Sonic. An explanation I can give for that is that I base a lot of my writing on my fic New Beginnings, which is three years old now, now that I think about it. At the time I worked on that I did not have that solid a grasp on character characterisations or writing, nor did I make so many analysis posts on Silver and such. But going through my own fanfics and recalling scenes from New Beginnings makes me see many little things that I feel like are "incorrect" or are something I would not write anymore. Nothing extremely egregious, but mostly word choice on Sonic's part and actions on Silver's. It's making me ponder about characterisations, how to figure out the deeper details behind them (especially in a franchise like Sonic where various "official" media have very different characterisations for many characters compared to the baseline of the games, which understandably often get mixed-and-matched in fandom spaces that I get exposed to a lot. Not to mention the huge differences between Japan and the West.), and how to write characters in a romance story when they do not have any romance in the media they are shown in.

Also, considering I don't like Silver as an uwu silly baby, I feel as if I do write him in that way, at least a little. For example, in New Beginnings he was quite heavily dependent on Espio and wary as heck but also sometimes far more explicitly wide-eyed and innocent, haha. If I don't like Silver getting cinnamon roll-ified, I feel like I should not be complicit in it myself in my own works either. It's definitely something I'll keep in mind if I ever go write for New New Beginnings (title still pending) in full, yet... I know that it's often recommended that you should do what is fun for you most when writing and that it's okay if that makes the characters a bit OoC because it's a fanwork. But I do really want to write him in-character, yet I feel like it's difficult for me to get his true character and his interactions with others down 100% correctly. A lot of my stories seem to kind of automatically put Silver into at least a bit of a cinnamon roll position, especially compared to the far more serious and world-knowledgeable Espio. But as I read my fanfics, it just felt... kind of unfitting? I'm not sure if it's something you can train, though, and I also feel like obsessing a lot about writing him "correctly" is going to stifle my (completely non-existent these days, rip) inspiration even more...

And it is making me ponder about what to do with my old fics. I figure it's best to just not touch them and treat it more like an artwork of "poor" quality that you made at the beginning of your learning journey: something that was still enjoyable to make and that people still like looking at, but that simply does not look as good as something you made years later when you had more skill under your belt. Hmm, this went a bit all over the place, but I hope it's clear what I mean.

[damnfandomproblems]

The major discourse in fandoms involving living machines (such as Pixar’s Cars) regarding the born vs built theory. See, in canon there is no concrete evidence proving that either theory is right. In fact, the canon itself is very contradicting, as vehicles being born or built are both referenced. While the canon material does strongly imply that they’re built and don’t have organs, there is still no concrete evidence in the films and what’s been shown in other related media (such as books) is often the source of debate in regards to whether or not they’re actually canon (many of the books and sometimes even the shorts take liberties with canon). If anything, I think it’s safe to say that there is no canon answer and whether they’re born or built is up to interpretation. However, I’ve noticed a lot of the built-goers and canon “purists” seem to really enjoy ripping apart the opposite theory (to be fair, I’ve seen some of this from the born party too, but I can’t help but notice this is FAR more common with the built-goers for some reason).

What bothers me even more, is that many, if not nearly all, of the born-goers actually DO take canon into consideration and come up with theories that could realistically work in canon. And yet the built-goers will recite something from canon that implies they’re built and then tell us we’re “going off/not respecting canon” despite the fact that we ARE trying to keep things canon. 

For example, when the term “built” is mentioned, I point out that we humans use that expression too. But then they’ll cite another example (e.g., “they stopped manufacturing us”) and be like “that doesn’t sound like a figure of speech”. While I agree that does imply the built theory, I also believe it could be a reference to the fact that certain cars quit reproducing. (I won’t go into a whole lot of details here but I just want to give a basic idea). 

I don’t mind a good debate as I actually do like seeing others’ theories and arguments. What I don’t like, however, is when the born-goers like myself get our theories–the ones we put so much thought, research and effort into to make as realistically as possible while also sticking to canon–discredited or even panned because we’re “rejecting canon”–which is blatantly false because we DO respect canon and try to stay close to it, we just have a different theory that could still be plausible. 

[analoghorrorexplained]

Analog Horror Review: THE LONGEYED PROJECT.

[ Warning, this post will contain spoilers for the work of media mentioned in the title.]

“THE LONGEYED PROJECT” is a game split up into 2 chapters that takes the form of training program for some unknown entity that exists to track these beings. From what lore we are able to gather from the intro: this program exists to assess the user’s ability to pick out human mimics (Longeyed) from actual humans as a sort of “6th sense” test.

 These being are usually not hard to spot given they have very visible facial abnormalities, but it is also noted to us that these beings also give off a bad smell. It is stated within the game that these creatures usually come for people within 7 days of first contact and are responsible for a disproportionate amount of disappearances. This is all we really learn about these creatures between these 2 chapters. 

Chapter 2 has multiple endings you can get depending on what choices you make in the game. There is a good ending where you make the right choices and you get a raise for being able to spot these beings. There is an ending where a longeyed comes to kill you. And there is an ending where you fuck up so badly you somehow did not notice your boss was replaced by a longeyed and now they can complete their goals (whatever those are).

This series has a lot of problems.

For one: a LOT of THE LONGEYED PROJECT was borrowed from Mandela Catalogue and Assessment Examination (a game based on the former) which really hurts it since its trying to be its own thing. A lot of the concepts they use are just not their own and there is seldom really any lore to back up what is being shown to us. We have no idea what these “Longeyed” are. We have no idea why they are doing what they are doing. And we have no idea how what we are doing is even helping this Longeyed problem. There is just too much unexplained in general. It also does not help that the Ayuwoki meme image was also included as a serious part of the game, along with other disturbing face images taken from other corners of the internet.

Another issue that is pretty clear is the voice acting and actual script writing itself.

The game has a few pretty blatant gramatical errors along with at times very hard to understand dialogue. I am 99% sure that the devs who made this game do not speak English as their first language. This is fine. English is not a pre-rec for a good series. There are plenty of games and series that just speak in their native languages and provide subtitles for english audiences. But given the game is half voice-acted segments and sometimes its very hard to understand whats being said: it takes away from the game. I end up reading the text on screen more than I do listening to the dialogue. This probably also translates into the writing issues as well.

Overall: its a great game for general shock value given it has a lot of uncanny valley going on but not a good game for anything lore related. It takes too many ideas from other things and does not know how to translate them into its own free-standing project and idea. 

Its a dollar store version of Assessment Examination with less content.

Overall this series was a flop and is too close to Mandela Catalogue to really stand on its own. For all of my devs and creators out there who want to create an analog horror series: copying and being inspired by something is not the same thing. You can still develop story ideas based off of something you like while giving it enough meat to be able to stand on its own. Do not do this.

[fuegito-de-eeuu]

Man… mermaids…

I feel like I see a lot of interesting interpretations about them. Cause I mean, there are a fusion of a fish and human, and the human half is the upper half so obviously they act human.

But like. That’s. Kinda lame imo.

Yeah, this essentially different race of people who live in an entirely different environment and are often shown to have either not interacted with humans for a while or were shown to have separated from humans ages ago… yep, they speak English. I’m sorry??? They speak? Under the water?

I know it’s for convenience sake in some media, but lordy anyone who has gone swimming knows it’s kinda hard for people to just talk underwater, even if they could breathe the water.

GIVE ME THE WHALE SOUNDS. GIVE ME THE DEEPLY HORRIFIC NOISES. GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE ON LAND.

It just. doesn’t make any sense to me. Like maybe I can get it for more like. Close to shore mermaids or mermaids in contact with humans more, but even then it wouldn’t be the greatest for communicating underwater.

Not to mention like. Why are mermaids built like a surf and turf platter. Like occasionally I see fin-like ears which, aesthetically, I’m a big fan of. But other than that it’s just, “yeah they got a fish tail” AND THAT’S IT.

There so many different kinds of aquatic creatures, why just fish :(

Why is the difference at the waist. Why is it just a normal guy or gal. Give me claws. Give me teeth. Give me more traits for a creature that likely needs to use its body to hunt more.

Slightly going back to the first point, but usually I only see people-sized mermaids. This isn’t bad but, it would be so cool to see this giant humanoid shark mermaid or something just grinning at you because they managed to sneak up on you. Or maybe slightly or very small reef-fish mermaids. There’s so much more to do!!! Why just. Normal sized people.

Why do they still have an internal breathing structure. I would get it for a more mammalian mermaid I guess, like a manatee or seal mermaid. But like, there's a reason fish have a more external breathing structure and that's because it's more efficient for getting air from the water. Granted we see mermaids surfacing a lot in media, or just chilling on land. But maybe a more amphibian build would be cool to see?

Also with the size thing, most mermaids I’ve seen in media are just like. Vibing in the open ocean. Maybe they got a castle or something there, or something else important is there, but like. Only open ocean? As just bright-colored, pretty-looking fish? The wide open ocean isn’t exactly home to brightly colored fish because it makes them easy to spot. Most open ocean fish are blue, grey, and/or white. If you want the fancy, brightly colored fish and a mermaid society… CORAL REEFS. THEY’RE LITERALLY SO PRETTY AND WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE IF YOU WANT THE PRETTY, NOT DANGEROUS GROUP OF FISH PEOPLE.

Which also leads me to where exactly would mermaids be on the food chain. Let alone the ocean food web. I’d say they could be predators as humans are omnivores and there’s plenty of predatory fish, but the pretty reef fish usually eat algae. Maybe it’d just depend on the type of mermaid you’d be in my version, but like, for the standard surf and turf mermaids in media… where are they.

They’re not really shown eating a lot. They have human teeth which aren’t exactly good for hunting. No claws. Maybe sometimes they'll have like weapons and stuff but even then, spears aren't exactly fantastic for fighting underwater unless you're fighting someone else with a spear.So are they vegans??? Vegetarians??? I wouldn't mind that but it's just something that still bugs me.

But aside from that.

WHY DO THEY HAVE BOOBS

It seems so inconvenient for a creature that primarily lives underwater. Especially for series such as One Piece that already has the slight issue of giving almost every afab character MASSIVE FUCKING HONKERS. Big tits are heavy on land, and in water, they float. HOW INCONVENIENT WOULD THAT BE AS A MERMAID.

You constantly have to swim just downwards slightly or exert more effort just to stay down. Like??? No other sea fairing mammal has boobs 24/7. No other mammal in general has boobs 24/7. Why? They're just. kinda inconvenient.

Not to mention, for a race of creatures that are part-fish... why aren't the afab mermaids big. Their upper bodies have no difference compared to humans on land. GIVE ME THE ALPHA FEMALE MERMAIDS YOU COWARDS, WE ALREADY HAVE ALPHA WEREWOLVES AND THOSE AREN'T EVEN SCIENTIFICALLY CORRECT EITHER.

Finally onto the culture. Why is it just a copy of human culture. Like you just put human cities and castles and systems underwater without giving two shits and called it a day. Have fun with it??? Go crazy??? Especially if you're just doing it in the open ocean of all things. Why are they civil. Mad max that shit. It is the open ocean.

If you want your cities, there are much more interesting areas in the ocean than the outside of fucking bikini bottom. There are coral reefs, kelp forests, mangroves, estuaries, mid-ocean ridges, and quite a bit more. Make it more interesting than a palace of gold that seemed to have come from nowhere.

What would genuinely have value in a mermaid world? Would new creatures and plants adapt to living with larger creatures? What would mermaids try to cultivate if they do attempt to grow food? Would they both with clothes or armor? What would cause issues and divides between mermaids? etc.

there's just... so much more to think about that I feel doesn't get talked about in common media. I'm not mad about pretty mermaids or anything, I'm just mad that not more is done with such a cool race.

[vtori73]

I didn't go into my whole opinions of Gege Akutami in the tags from that last post MAINLY because I don't trust a LOT of these weebs, lol. Sorry but a LOT of y'all have really shown me just how piss poor y'all's reading comprehension REALLY is so I don't see a point in going into my opinions if y'all can't even properly digest what y'all read (& that saying something because Geges writing confuses me at times so yeah sometimes I'm just vibing when I'm reading jjk I may not know wtf that cursed technique exactly does but I'm enjoying the ride regardless, lol).

Like more than one person thinks Maki/Mei dynamic is incestuous which just makes me SO unbelievably angry & y'all REALLY need to stop assuming everything that isn't fighting between siblings automatically = something more. Not denying the one specific character, Meimei, isn't written... that way but to claim more are written that way is REALLY weird like... did we read the same manga??? Also not to mention a lot of people who read manga STILL seem to not understand that what is considered sexist/feminist in Japan isn't going to be 100% the same here and I will admit I do fall into doing this sort of thing by going off of western/US ideas of what's feminist/not sexist when analyzing JJK and other manga/anime HOWEVER... I do acknowledge this and also at least try to save room for differing opinions like that and not automatically just label something as progressive. I can't give big/exact examples but I know of times where people will go crazy about something being oh so progressive but people who are Japanese or know the culture well enough will go 'no... no that isn't."

Well, anyway, I was going to share my opinions on Gege Akutami's handling of women characters and if their work is either feminist or sexist but honestly I'm tired so I'll do that another day. The only other thing I want to add/explore a bit is that SOME of the backlash/hate/critiques of JJK just seem... rather familiar to me. Not going into it but yeah... I have a hard time taking SOME of this criticism seriously ESPECIALLY when I see people regularly kiss Odas feet for at best bare minimum stuff (or not even and also weird how multiple people give OP recognition for doing xyz in the tags of that poll and not JJK even though it also actually does do what they give OP credit for...)

Just... y'all have weird priorities and make excuses for ur faves REALLY quick and honestly if y'all can't somewhat equally analyze and critique media fairly I don't think ur opinions should really hold any weight in regards to what is or isn't sexist or any other prejudice really. And look some might say I'm doing the same and on the surface it probably does look like that because I honestly don't care to go into it with others online because of basically what I said in the beginning but also because JJK is something I enjoy more in private, besides reblogging &/or sharing fanart/merch I don't really do much else. I haven't done a thorough in-depth critique (or tried) yet because I don't see a point, not yet at least because while I do have various opinions some need more time to marinate and some just aren't going to be fully developed until the series is over.

BUT if anyone MUST know my basic opinion on JJK and if it's sexist or not my simple answer is... no, I don't believe it is BUT it does still have things it needs to work on though! Are the women well written? Some are, yes! And some aren't! I'm not going into it more than that because again I'm tired and that is being reserved for a more dedicated post that may or may not be made one day, lol.

[ghcstvalleychief]

i..don’t know if this is slightly controversial or not. while i think a lot of people are having fun on twitter MA wise..i do get a bit concerned with some of the things i see. especially with some of the things people reply or @ to MA. (A deleted an older tweet today in relation to Mile and I am mostly sure it was because people were uh, flooding his notifications/mentions (being extreme) following the whole bro / lost in translation context.) + (people constantly getting rlly weird towards Mile and accusing him of qbaiting…having a girlfriend…etc etc)

like they both enjoy interacting with fans and such but i do think people need to be careful with how they interact with MA as well. and just u know..remember boundaries too??

while we all know MA are close and have a wonderful relationship in whatever way..i do kind of worry future wise in terms of how fans may react if dating does happen with someone else / if they go without interacting for x amount of time. (like..people already get upset and i mean rlly upset when they are spotted with someone else or not attached at the hip??? people insisting that mile has a gf when he said he is single and it’s like..if you can’t trust in those words,,,if you can’t trust in that more than once, MA have shown to everyone [not that they have to anyways] that they enjoy each other, that they have a close bond, that they keep things to themselves bc they are private and etc, they have routines with their whole phone calls, etc etc etc) (also just bc they may go without interacting sometimes or aren’t spotted together..does not mean they aren’t close. social media is not everything. it’s a mere fraction of what we see. hell, some of the content we have gotten is bc a fan saw them walking together or doing something together. they just don’t share it which is their right + valid as well as the fact they don’t need to broadcast that they are texting!! hanging!!! whatever!! for their bond to be valid tbh) and that literally goes for any friendship / relationship / etc too. i genuinely don’t think fans will fare very well. they don’t right now…but i do think it’s possible it could get worse.

If it's not posted to social media, then it didn't happen, right? That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life, but a lot of people buy into that narrative for some reason. Some people believe that posting things to social media validates certain friendships and relationships and it really doesn't. It has nothing to do with that, and I'm glad that MA are old enough to understand that they don't have to post every single thing they do together on social media. Frankly, it's none of our business. I know social media has made people believe that everyone has a right to your life in every way possible but they don't. No one has a right to your life.

But I did see that one tweet Apo deleted. I was slightly shocked that he ended up deleting it, but it's interesting to note that he realized what was happening at all. Which means he's definitely on Twitter more than people think. But I've been saying this since forever - they see everything. There's not a thing they probably don't see, and that's what people need to understand when they're @ing them and quote retweeting their tweets.

This is why I continuously bring up boundaries when I talk about MA, because the reason this shit keeps happening is due to people not respecting their boundaries here. Even if they were involved (I'm not saying one way or another), there's no way they're going to put that on social media because some fans have already proven they don't respect the line between them and MA. I worry about their potential future significant others too, because the fans are weird about things like that and they can't wrap their minds around the fact that they don't know them. We know Kinn and Porsche, but we don't know Mile and Apo. We only know what they allow us to see, which isn't much to begin with.

On the other hand, these fans should probably tread lightly with what they do. Mainly because there have been real life male pairings/duos that altogether stopped interacting with each other in public and on social media because the fans made things awkward for them. So if the former argument won't stop these people, then maybe they should look at it from that angle. Certain sub groups of rabid fans started real life shipping certain pairings and those pairings eventually stopped talking to each other altogether. It's the Lo*is/H*rry or D*nPh*l of it all. The act of shipping them wasn't the thing that ruined these relationships; it was the way the fans reacted and treated them due to the shipping that caused issues.

[charlywrites]

Requested by @messtar

Request; Hii, can you write something about Lewis falling in love with a artist, i have seen he really interested in art lately, and I think is so cute, love you and thanks

Warnings; none.

Note; just Lewis being a big softie and my heart went woosh <3

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

Art had always been important in your life, you started as a young child by drawing wherever you could, you loved how free it made you feel, you could create whatever you wished.

This passion carried on throughout your teenage years, that’s when you realized art wasn’t a simple hobby to you- it was the career you wanted, you were convinced it was your destiny.

It didn’t work out immediately though, it took years for you to get known for your art, but it was only recently that you got noticed to the point that you were now having your first art exhibit in an art gallery in New York.

Your career truly skyrocketed when your art- and you, got noticed by the one and only Lewis Hamilton. Him sharing your art on Twitter and Instagram made you achieve a whole new level of fame on social medias and while all you wanted was to share your art and made a living out of it, you’d always be thankful for what Lewis did.

You two never met yet, but got to chat a bit on social medias and got to know each other a little even if what you mostly talked about was art and sometimes F1. It had been weeks since Lewis found out about your art yet it still felt as surreal as the first day.

Your pieces were shown in the art gallery for three days and to say the least, those three days had been exhausting but wholesome- you had gotten to meet many people and heard a lot of compliments that went straight to your heart.

No matter how tired you were on the last day, you were already getting nostalgic as it would soon be the closure. However, there was one more surprise for you- when you saw Lewis wander through the different art pieces you had made, it hadn’t mentioned coming as you imagined he had a busy schedule yet here he was admiring your work.

Seeing Lewis in the art gallery made you somewhat feel like a kid excited on christmas’ morning- walking to him, you thanked him for coming by with the biggest smile on your face, “ I didn’t know you’d come by, you should have told me!”

“ And ruin the surprise?” laughed Lewis as he hugged you as if you had known each other for years, you couldn’t lie and not say that you felt butterflies in your stomach, “ I wanted to come for the opening day but my schedule didn’t allow me to.”

“ That’s totally fine, I’m so happy you could come- after all I’m not sure this would have happened without you.”

“ Don’t say that, you’re here, exposing your art because of your talent, not because of me.”

No matter how many compliments you heard these past three days, none could make you as happy as Lewis’ words, “ thank you so much Lewis, for everything.”

“ No need to thank me, you deserve it. Now come on, show me everything, tell me which piece you like the most, the one that took you the longest and all that.”

And that’s exactly what you did until the art gallery had to close for the night, you showed him your favorite piece you had done, the one that took you the longest, the one that had the most meaning to you- you explained everything and Lewis seemed to enjoy your art as much as your explanations.

Once you were outside of the art gallery where you had spent most of your last three days, all you had left to do was head back to your hotel for the night and get back home in the morning but Lewis seemed to have another plan in mind, “ do you have any plan for tonight?”

“ Not really, I’ll probably order some food and catch up on a show- why?”

“ Can I take you out to eat? Only as friends if you prefer- but if you’re too tired I can understand.”

“ Only as friends if I prefer?”

Now, seeing the one and only Lewis Hamilton being all embarrassed and shy in front of you wasn’t something you’d expected to see one day, “ well, it can be as more but it can also be just as friends.”

“ Are you trying to ask me out on a date?”

“ Kind of? Like, I feel like we really connected the first time we talked and meeting you today really confirmed it.”

“ I felt the same way but thought I was just imagining things to be honest with you.”

“ Does that mean you want to go on a date with me?”

“ I’d love to but on another day if you’re okay with it? As you guessed I’m really tired- maybe you can walk me to my hotel and stay to eat something with me?”

“ That sounds amazing!”

As you suggested, Lewis walked you back to your hotel which wasn’t too far from the art gallery and honestly, with Lewis’ arm wrapped around your shoulders and him entertaining you, you got to your hotel quicker than you even expected.

✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩ ✩

After that night, instead of taking your flight back home, you extended your stay in New York to spend more time with Lewis and even got to go on a date like he had suggested that evening- let’s be honest, it was the best date you ever had, you spent most of the time smiling and laughing.

Since Lewis had to head to Miami for the Grand Prix, he invited you to come with him, so you could experience this brand new Grand Prix and support him and his team as a whole. You didn’t have to think much before agreeing, you were enjoying being around him too much and the idea of leaving to go back to your city and home saddened you.

The first thing you did on Friday while Lewis was busy with the press was to go buy his and Mercedes’ merch to truly support him- and it was a bonus that the merch looked cool.

You also felt like it was a cute surprise you could do to Lewis as he wasn’t going to be able to see you until right before heading for the race. Maybe it was going to bring him luck for the races this week-end, at least that’s what you were hoping for.

The look on Lewis’ face when he saw you with the merch you bought earlier today was priceless- the way his eyes were shining and how he gave you his brightest smile meant so much to you.

Pulling him into a hug, you wished him good luck for the first free practice of the day and told him to stay safe.

It seemed like your presence and support might have been what Mercedes needed to start having encouraging results this season. While the first free practice ended with George finishing second and Lewis eighth, the second practice ended with George finishing first and Lewis fourth.

You were aware that free practices didn’t mean anything as it didn’t count at the end of the week-end but you knew they needed those results to keep pushing for more.

Leaving the paddock as soon as the second practice finished, you headed to Mercedes’ garage and waited outside, excited and impatient to congratulate Lewis- you didn’t dare to get inside the garage unsure if you were allowed to or not.

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long until Lewis got out of the garage, most likely planning on going to the paddock to find you, but obviously he didn’t have to since you were already there waiting.

Smiling ear to ear, you jumped in his arms to hug him and tell him how happy and proud you were- it’s only when you shared an eye contact that you crashed your lips against his.

[ptersparkers]

the art of eating pussy (5)

summary: upon realizing you lack skills in the bedroom when a touron asks you out on a date, you turn to jj, a self-proclaimed sexual deviant, for help.

warnings: smut, y’all. 

notes: i haven’t been in the right headspace to right recently and wanted to give my reads something of quality and substance, not something to rush just for satisfaction. behold, chapter five.

co-authored and co-written with @storiesbymads​. SHOW MY WIFE SOME LOVE.

add yourself to my taglist + series masterlist 

JJ’s hung up. 

You’d been spending less time at the Chateau in favor of spending time with Trent since it was the last week that he’d be on the island. His mind was racing, conflicted with the thoughts of your mouth on Trent and his lips on your neck. The night of the party had been the worst moment of the week and his jaw hurt from clenching by the time he ended up crashing out on John B’s couch. JJ always drank to forget and that night wasn’t an exception. 

He knew it wasn’t just about sex with you anymore. It wasn’t about the opportunity for him to get off by the hand of someone else. It wasn’t about him taking advantage of you. There was nothing complicated about the two of you in the bedroom. 

But outside of the bedroom, JJ’s head was spinning every time you said goodbye or forced him out the door because your parents were home. He didn’t have to think when he was with you; JJ knew what you wanted and knew what to expect. He knew that his time alone with you was the product of these lessons but that didn’t mean he had to think of this time as anything but passionate. When his tongue wasn’t down your throat, he was thinking about the tight feeling in his chest that left him wondering what was going to happen once you told him it was over because he didn’t want this to end.

JJ hadn’t thought about the lessons ending until he saw you tucked underneath Trent’s arm at the party. This whole situation wasn’t friends with benefits and he knew it, which is why it messed with his head so much. Yes, there was the whole “no strings attached” ordeal, but this wasn’t just one of you calling the other for sex. This was much more complicated. You were one of JJ’s best friends but the only difference is you’d seen him naked, intentionally. 

His thoughts are preoccupied with the idea that once the lessons end, you might still be with Trent despite him no longer being on the island. JJ would have to go back to being just friends and he’d have to pretend that he never saw you naked. He’d have to pretend he didn’t revel in the thought of you trembling beneath him. The other Pogues, to his knowledge, had no idea that the both of you were fooling around and he didn’t know if it was something he wanted to disclose. On one hand, he wanted a second opinion on whether or not this was something healthy. On the other hand, he knew what they would say; that JJ didn’t care about catching feelings and it was unlikely that he would consider succumbing to being a boyfriend. He knew he’d expressed his disdain for relationships in the past, but now he wasn’t so sure. 

You ended up skipping out on the last two beach sessions in favor of Trent. Pope had decided to stay behind on the sand with JJ while Sarah, Kiara, and John B. enjoyed themselves under the warmth of the sun and the contrasting coolness of the ocean waves. Pope could sense something was amiss when JJ was the first to propose having a relaxing afternoon and hadn’t shown up with his surfboard tucked underneath his arm. 

“Something’s up,” Pope stated. “Something’s been up for a while and I didn’t want to say anything about it until I knew for sure, but something’s definitely up.” JJ shook his head. 

“It’s nothing.” Pope nudged JJ with his shoulder. 

“C’mon, man. You don’t want to surf, your mind is a million miles from where you are, and not to mention, this entire week you’ve been moody.”

“I’m not moody,” JJ muttered with a scowl, flicking at a clump of sand near his foot. Pope’s mouth formed a knowing smile. JJ sighed. “Okay, I’ve been moody.” 

“What’s up? Is it your dad again?” 

“No,” JJ replied softly. “I just think life is bullshit.”

“We all think life is bullshit.” 

“Feelings are bullshit.” Pope’s ears perked with interest. 

“Feelings?” JJ looked at Pope before looking back at the view in front of him, watching as Kiara had playfully splashed Sarah with ocean water. He wished he could feel that carefree. 

“They suck,” he began. “I think it’s stupid that people are allowed to feel something for people and not know if they feel the same.” 

“Are you talking about someone?” JJ paused. 

“No,” he replied. 

“Okay...” Pope trailed off. JJ sighed once more.

“What I’m trying to say, is, I wish we weren’t cursed with not knowing where the lines are blurred and I wish we could all say how we feel without consequence.” 

Pope sensed that JJ was trying to speak metaphorically and project his emotions on a secondary situation. He nodded, trying to follow the blond’s train of thought. He pursed his lips as JJ spoke and wanted to understand what he was saying to the fullest extent, but the boy decided to let JJ talk. 

“Have you ever thought about getting off this island?” JJ asked after a few moments of silence. 

“What kind of question is that?” Pope asked, laughing. “Of course I do.”

“But really,” said JJ. “Not just getting off and seeing what it’s like. I mean, like, what you’re gonna be doing in twenty years and the people who are going to be in your life.”

“Sometimes,” Pope replied with a casual shrug. “I try to take things one day at a time. I never want to overwhelm myself.”

“Lucky you,” JJ muttered. “I see myself off of this stupid fucking island by the time I’m thirty. I don’t want to live in a place where I feel trapped and can’t say what I want to fucking say.”

“I want to be able to forget about the Kooks,” Pope chimed in. JJ nodded. “I kinda want to live in San Francisco.”

“I’d probably live in Europe or something,” JJ said. “Don’t know where but I’d want to experience life as far away from North Carolina as possible.”  

“You sure you’re okay?” Pope asked. He knew he wasn’t. 

“Yeah, man,” JJ replied. “Just got a lot of things on my mind.”

The idea of fooling around with anyone that wasn’t you hadn’t crossed JJ’s mind. He’d been to Boneyard keggers since the lessons began but the notion of flirting and bringing a girl back to the Chateau was way off his radar. The Pogues didn’t take much notice but JJ wondered if they knew something was amiss or if they’d say something about it if they did. If he was able to realize he hadn’t slept with anyone since he began “teaching” you, then they might have. JJ knew their worlds didn’t revolve around him, and the boy was still as goofy and troublesome as ever, but there was a seeded doubt that made him awkward whenever he was around his friends if you happened to be there. 

It wasn’t that his stomach felt queasy or that his heart was racing. He’d be lying to himself if he admitted that. His head was clear when it came to how he felt about you and he wouldn’t hesitate rushing to your house if you called him for another lesson or if you just wanted to kick back with him in your room and jam out to vinyls you pulled out whenever you felt nostalgic. Before, he would never have considered approaching your side of the island but now he didn’t feel as small as he did when he didn’t have a reason to be there. Your parents were familiar with your friends and didn’t mind JJ stopping by, which gave him more of an incentive to visit you when he had had enough of the Chateau and his friends’ loud personalities. 

JJ knew his head was clear when it came to how he was feeling. The only part that clouded his judgement was Trent and dealing with the different friendship he’d have with you. He was sure that if the Touron wasn’t in the picture, things would be much easier for him. Trent’s dark and slick hair reminded him of greed and filth. His boisterous personality reminded JJ of everything he never wanted to be and he couldn’t understand why you’d pay attention to him for longer than a quick glance. The Touron was casually cool, the type of person who wanted to say they were able to rub elbows with the socialites of New York City by posting it on his social media accounts. You, on the other hand, were down to earth and courageous about your future potential. He couldn’t fathom why you were so attracted to someone who was your opposite. 

Your head had been spinning too. Trent was the perfect gentleman and he hadn’t given you a reason to not trust him. And yet, every moment you spent with him reminded you that you weren’t spending it with JJ. You couldn’t understand why you’d been thinking about his shaggy hair when he wakes up or the way his eyes squint when he laughs a little too hard. Trent was giving you his full and undivided attention, and you always felt guilty when you needed to force yourself back into reality because you had been zoning out, daydreaming of being anywhere else. 

But JJ never seemed to be anything other than friendly with you. You opted to disregard how he acted during the lessons, summing that up to pent up sexual frustration and a genuine interest to help you out after years of teasing you. You weren’t completely naive; you knew this was a way for JJ to get himself off, much like it was for you. The only difference between JJ taking advantage of you versus not was the fact that you wanted him to teach you how to make others feel good and how to make yourself feel like a goddess in the bedroom. You weren’t exactly sure why there had been a lack of awkwardness between the both of you despite him being your best friend since birth. There was never a question of doubt from JJ when you asked him to help you learn. There was no laughing when you admitted your lack of knowledge. Perhaps that’s why your initial doubt disappeared the first time he asked you to kiss him.

Trent had apologized for the beach date when he’d gotten startled by strangers parking next to him and promised you he’d make it up to you. He came through on his promise after you got worked up before your dinner date. You arrived at the hotel he was staying at while his father attended an event on the other side of Figure Eight and his hand glided up the side of your dress. Trent wasn’t rough nor was he gentle; he was giving you what you thought you wanted but it didn’t feel as skilled or as tender as when JJ’s fingers were inside of you. With JJ, your orgasm approached as if JJ already knew everything there was to know but Trent took his sweet time making you cum. 

You always cursed yourself for letting your mind wander innocuously to JJ when Trent’s lips were on your neck or when his fingers were toying with the hem of your clothing. There wasn’t much going on between you and Trent, sexually, despite him wanting to take it further. You were lucky enough that Trent verbally expressed his willingness to wait, but you wondered if that wait time had an expiration date. You wanted to make sure if it felt right before you were able to deliver on a promise. You knew that your lessons with the blond would come to an end the moment you two had gone all the way, or until you were ready to experience sex without JJ, and you always moved that thought to the back of your mind to avoid thinking about it. 

By now, you felt guilty for spending the majority of this week with Trent. Kiara had texted you a few times but understood wanting to spend time with him until he left. As far as you could tell, neither John B. nor Pope cared too much because they were happy their youngest friend was happy with someone. JJ, on the other hand, you couldn’t read. You didn’t understand why it was so difficult for you to reach out to him first or comprehend him, which you were usually good at. Suddenly, you were overthinking the way he talked to you and if he chose to sit next to you or someone else. You were overthinking his lingering gaze either on your thighs or some girl who walked past him with a weird knot in the pit of your stomach. 

You kept telling yourself none of that mattered because you had Trent and you were sure you knew how you felt. Trent treated you right, was willing to wait, and never made you feel second best for not being as sexually promiscuous as he was. Yet something was lacking and you couldn’t figure out what it was. 

You tried not to think about it on your way to the Chateau. The screen door slammed shut as you walked into the living room to try and save yourself from the downpour of rain. After Trent had dropped you off when his father had called him during the middle of a movie marathon, you opted to see the Pogues and spend some time with them once you realized how many times you had declined their offer to hang out. You saw JJ already sprawled out on the couch, seemingly all by himself. 

“John B’s out with Sarah,” he said casually, pushing himself up onto his elbows to give you some room to sit down. You nodded a thank you, crossing your arms over your wet torso in an attempt to warm your shivering body as you sat down. Glancing down at your chest, you silently swore as you noticed your red bra was, in fact, very visible under your white shirt. 

“Nice bra,” he chuckled, trying not to ogle too long. JJ hoped his comment didn’t make you feel awkward; he was having a hard time talking to you because he didn’t exactly know where he stood with you. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled but you couldn’t help the heat that rose to your cheeks. 

“So…” JJ trailed off. “How’ve you been? Haven’t seen you in a few days.” 

“I’ve been good,” you nodded. 

“And Trent?” he asked, attempting, and majorly failing, to hide the venom that laced his tongue. You mistook this as annoyance.

“Good,” you said, not wanting to talk about him anymore. JJ cleared his throat, his teeth grinding as he clenched his jaw, as he shifted on the couch so that he was sitting upright and facing you. 

“You've been putting my lessons to good use?” he asked. He didn’t know why he’d asked. He had no desire to hear about you with another guy. 

“You could say that,” you said. Were you really putting them to good use if you weren’t enjoying yourself with Trent nearly as much as you had been with JJ? You couldn’t tell JJ that Trent’s hands on you just sent your mind spiraling back to him or when Trent’s lips were on yours, it reminded you of that first night you started the whole thing. 

“Oh? Does he make you feel good?” he asked, moving closer to you. “Because it’s not worth it if you’re not getting something out of it, too.”

“Uh, well-”

“Do you want me to make you feel good?” he asked suddenly. He knew he was asking the question more for himself but he was desperate to have you again. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to show you how a real man treats his girl. 

“What?” you were taken aback by the forwardness of his question. You watched as his eyes dilated, flicking back and forth from your lips to your chest. 

“You know what I mean,” he said. “You need to be shown what it’s like to be taken care of.”

“But you already-”

“Just let me do this for you,” he snapped. “Please.”

“Okay,” you said before turning your body on the couch to face him. You hadn’t stopped shivering since entering the Chateau not too long ago and your goosebumps increased as you watched JJ move closer to you. He used his right hand to pry your knees apart, positioning himself between them. Your heart rate picked up as he leaned forward to press his lips against yours, the cold air hitting your wet skin when JJ pushed the soaked fabric of your t-shirt up so that it rested just under the hemline of your bra. 

“Up,” he mumbled against your lips, the vibrations forcing a soft moan out of you as you broke the kiss to lift your arms above your head. You let out a small laugh when your shirt made a sloshing sound against the ground. It stopped as soon as it started, however, because you felt JJ start applying open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones. 

Feeling his body pressed up against yours stirred up all the daydreams you’d had every time you’d gotten intimate with Trent. You’d been in this position before with him, but somehow it felt better without the pretense of a lesson. You were under the guise that this wasn’t just about teaching you what you liked and what you didn’t. Part of you wanted to believe that this was more than a lesson you’d acquire from JJ’s depth of knowledge. JJ’s kisses trailed lower and lower until his teeth started toying with the waistband of your shorts. The throbbing between your legs was growing steadily and you let out a sigh of relief when he finally dipped his fingers into the waistband and tugged the wet shorts down your legs with effort because of the rain, dropping them on the floor with your shirt. 

“JJ,” you whimpered as he took his time moving down your body. He slipped his hands under your knees so that he could place them on his shoulders delicately before he laid out on the couch with his face centimeters away from your nearly bare pussy. 

He let out a soft laugh in disbelief at how incredibly soaked you already were. It was practically coating your thighs at this point and your cunt was aching in anticipation for his touch. All JJ could think about is how you let another man see you from this point of view, which was enough to give rise to JJ’s ego. His mission was to make you feel so good that you’d think of him the next time Trent put his hands down your pants; he wanted you to remember this moment and know what it was like to be eaten out by someone who was determined to make you orgasm like a holy grail. 

JJ’s jealousy didn’t cause him to act rashly and dominate the situation. He started by pressing fluttering kisses to the side of your knee, his eyes flickering up to see you watching him intently. JJ began by tenderly kissing the inside of your thighs, making comments about how soft you are and how you smelled so sweet. He does all he can to make you squirm underneath his touch, loving that your gaze didn’t leave him even if you tried. JJ pressed a kiss to the waistband of your underwear and you whimpered at the thought of him being so close to you in a way that was more intimate than before. 

He chuckled when he heard you whimper again and moved his mouth to kiss along your clothed entrance. You knew JJ’s game all too well and you knew he’d take his time teasing you until you were begging for it. It took a while to come to this conclusion, but you figured out that you enjoyed the slow pace before the big finish. JJ had taught you that when you reached an orgasm, it was less about the other party getting off by getting you off. The point of your orgasm was to make you feel like a queen in the bedroom, not like a used toy to get someone else off. 

So when JJ used the pad of his index finger to move your underwear aside and toy with your cunt, you didn’t bother begging for his mouth. Instead, you closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of his warm hands on you. JJ looked pleased at your reaction and wanted to make this moment last for as long as he could. His finger moved in slow circles before hitting a sensitive nerve that caused your hips to rise, to which JJ laughed and pinned you down in the cushions. 

JJ pressed two delicate kisses on your entrance. His mouth was being coated in your slick and he licked his lips, closing his eyes to savor the way you tasted. His body inched forward in an attempt to be as close to you as possible before licking a stripe with his tongue pressed flat against you, causing you to let out a deep moan in satisfaction. 

JJ’s tongue worked like magic, as if he already knew all of your weak spots and was discovering the different sounds you could make by his tongue. His hands were gripping your thighs and his eyes would look at his meal before back up at you, and you had taken the liberty to use your hands to tug on his hair when he had hit a pleasure point. 

“That’s a good girl,” he whispered against you to himself, proud of how loud and unapologetic you were being. He swore that if the Pogues had walked in the door, he’d stop eating your pussy and show them how pretty you looked underneath him. But he knew they would all be at Kiara’s until the storm passed. 

His motions were delicate until he recalled the thought of you and Trent together in bed. His tongue began to dart in and out of you at a faster speed with every increasing thought. Giving Trent a handjob. Trent stripping you out of your bra and underwear. His fingers inside of you. His tongue down your throat. His cock in your mouth. His cock in your - JJ’s - pussy. He knew he was irrational and wrong to think that last thought, but in this moment, your pussy was his for the taking and he was going to make your orgasm like your life depended on it. 

JJ’s grip on your thighs became tighter and you felt locked underneath him. Your toes curled and your hips bucked at the pressure and pace at which JJ was eating you out. His head was moving like he was catching every last drop of your wetness before going back for some more. JJ had taken the liberty to lift his head and spit on your entrance before diving back in, his tongue so deep inside of you that you almost considered asking him to use his cock instead. 

“JJ,” you muttered, tugging on his hair. 

“Just cum, baby,” he urged. “I’m ready for you.” 

You obliged and it didn’t take you that long to release. JJ lapped the white pearls that were spilling out of you and his eyes were rolling to the back of his head as he realized this was the first time he was seeing you, and tasting you, from this angle. JJ’s jaw was becoming sore but he paid no attention as your legs spread wider against the couch and your body moved to the rhythm of his tongue. 

When you were coming down from your high, JJ couldn’t have imagined anything hotter than the sight and sound before him, but your fingers reached down to your aching core in oblivion and began toying with your clit as your breathing steadied. JJ watched in awe as your fingers moved in slow, delicate and circular motions, your bottom lip in between your teeth and your eyes shut. His mouth hung open at how totally, completely, and utterly fucked you were in this orgasmic haze and was pulled out of this fantasy when you tugged your hand away and reached for a tissue to clean yourself up. 

JJ couldn't think of anything to say and neither could you. You settled on watching a movie in silence. 

***

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[1mechanicalalligator]

Hey so how do you compare Spencer Reid and Abed Nadir in terms of autistic rep? What do they get right, what do they get wrong, what is less of a flaw and more of showing the spectrum... idk, I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Okay my brain is still mush but I'm gonna try to write a coherent answer to this anyway!! And I'm so sorry it took me like 3 weeks!!

Both Spencer and Abed are interesting in terms of autistic rep because both of them are written such that they are never explicitly confirmed as autistic in the text, which, I'm pretty sure, is just the writers trying to cover their asses instead of worrying about doing something wrong or offensive.

We have Jeff tell Abed, "Well, you have Asperger's," but then it's left at that, and later in the Christmas rap Abed says "On the spectrum? None of your business." Neither of those is a confirmation of anything, but the fact that it's mentioned at all I think is significant.

Same with Spencer -- allusions to "the autistic leanings of Dr. Reid," Blake implying that he has Asperger's and him not getting it (and therefore not confirming or denying it), and the fact that he knows exactly how best to approach every autistic person they encounter (I want to say there's 3 or 4 throughout the series?).

In any case, I do think both Spencer and Abed are autistic-coded and do fairly well in terms of representation, especially in that I don't see them as caricatures of autistic people (Sheldon Cooper syndrome, if you will). I see a lot of myself in both of their characters, for what it's worth, and it's nice to see that represented in media.

The thing I really love most about both characters is how they handle emotions. So often, the stereotypical autistic character appears to have no emotions, show no emotions, and doesn't care about anyone except themselves. Which is in no way the universal autistic experience (if there even is one, which there is not).

But both Abed and Spencer have emotions -- they have big emotions, even -- and often don't know how to handle them. We see Annie lamenting that she "broke Abed" in Virtual Systems Analysis, and in Nelson's Sparrow Morgan tells Reid, "Sometimes you put up these walls, and you can't do that, not right now."

And that, I think, is something that is important to show, and I like that it is shown with these two characters. Especially since at other times both are compared to robots or non-human beings (Abed by showing him as an actual robot in Aerodynamics of Gender, Spencer when Emily says, "He's so lifelike" in The Angel Maker).

One of my favorite things is that we see both Abed and Spencer stimming throughout both of their shows, often in the background, which I think is very nice. Have a couple gifs:

Both characters also display a big fear of change. This is explored especially with Abed in History 101 when he's nervous about graduating and not knowing what to expect in the future, and he's able to eventually talk himself down and get through it. Spencer shows this particularly when people leave the BAU for various reasons, but I don't want to get too far into that because I don't want this to be spoiler-y.

Each character has their own individual characteristics, of course, that I just want to touch on briefly because this is getting really long. But with Abed, we have his special interest (TV), we see occasional meltdowns and shutdowns, he wears a very limited wardrobe of comfy clothes, he really likes his buttered noodles, and he has trouble with things like reading analog clocks, tying shoelaces, and telling left from right.

With Spencer, we see him struggling to get jokes or idioms on occasion, he doesn't really like touching (particularly handshakes with strangers), he will talk forever without realizing he should stop, and he misses other social cues. You could maybe argue that his high IQ, reading speed, and eidetic memory make him an autistic savant, but I don't really know how that is diagnosed or what the criteria are.

Anyway! This got really long! But the point is that I think both characters are pretty good autistic rep, even if the showrunners are too scared to make them explicitly autistic, and I find them both very relatable and also very awesome, and I hope this answered your question <3