#which is weird because i usually only get sick 3-4 times a year

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 9

Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

Chapter Summary: You and Eddie go on your first date, but the past always lingers. 6.5 words

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Note: Y'all get to be a little horny in this one. As a treat <3 Also the poll results said you don't mind small details of what you all are wearing, and that you wanted to dress moderately slutty so I tried to keep that in mind. Enjoy!

Eddie kept his promise. For the next few days the two of you found yourself talking on the phone a lot between work shifts, band practice, and school. Late night talks became the norm, the two of you spending your evenings opening up to each other bit by bit. 

You told him about Family Video and gave him the scoop of which of his peers were renting from the back rooms, and he told you about his own shifts at the Hideout and about the weird things his drunk usuals would say. Bev had been giving him shifts again, which was at least a small steady income compared to his usual dealings.

The next Tuesday you had gone to the Hideout with Eddie, this time with him picking you up and dropping you off after. It wasn’t a date, not exactly. It was just two people who had an interest in each other hanging out with other people. Eddie had said the main reason it wasn’t a date was because he was technically working, and he didn’t want your first official date to have his band mates tagging along. Of course, that didn’t stop them from giving him knowing looks and giving him shit whenever your back was turned. Eddie would carefully keep tabs on how often they would do it, and would make them pay later during their campaign. 

That was fine with you, you were still more than happy to just spend time with Eddie and learn more about him. Watching him play guitar was mesmerizing and it was nice to be able to gawk at him in peace during his set without Steve telling you to close your mouth and stop drooling. 

After the set and dropping everyone else at home, the two of you had spent another two hours in his van just talking. Now that everything was out in the open, that awkwardness that had been between the two of you had faded into nothing. You found that talking to Eddie was as easy as talking to Steve, and you loved hearing about all of his stories from Hellfire and hearing him talk about his music. 

The only reason the two of you didn’t stay up until morning parked in front of your apartment building was because Eddie was reminded by you that he was still in school and needed to get some sleep for class the next day. When you kissed his cheek again before sliding out of his van he made a mental note to beg Bev to go on with Corroded Coffin on a Friday or Saturday for once. 

Halloween was on a Thursday this year, and you had made it very clear to Keith that you were not going to be working that night, or the next day. You had saved up all your bartering chips of overtime and days where you came in when anyone else couldn’t. You had put in your time off request three months in advance. 

Work could have you any other day of the week, but Halloween was yours and yours alone. You’d work Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Arbor Day, and Groundhog Day. You’d forgo Easter Sunday, New Years Eve and Day, and you wouldn’t bat an eye at Valentines day. But Halloween? That was yours and yours alone. 

It was the one day out of the year that you felt like you could be you. Even after the monster that is Hawkins High tried to strip you of being yourself, you pushed through and came out the other side of graduation with a new determination to never water yourself down again. You worked your ass off to save for your own run down apartment, to find clothing that you loved and not just what your peers told you to wear to blend in. 

If you wanted to show up to a shift on Halloween dressed as Han Solo with a Teddy Bear, you damn well could and no one could stop you. Not even Keith. 

But lucky for you, when the schedule for the week was posted that Monday, your name was thankfully cleared for Thursday and Friday. Keith could handle himself for those two morning shifts, and Robin and Steve could handle the evenings. It’s not like Family Video was really busy or open late on Thursday nights and you trusted Steve and Robin to handle the Friday rush. 

You woke up that Thursday feeling like it was your own personal Christmas. You took your time to wake up, have breakfast and get ready for the day. You almost called Eddie before you remembered that it was still a weekday and he would be in school. Besides, it would be weird to call him before your first date, right? 

Steve had given you a crash course on first dates over your shared shifts. His advice was a mixed bag to say the least. Every time he gave you insight into the male mind on how to act or dress or talk on a first date he would then backtrack when he remembered who he was talking to and who this first date was with. 

“Listen, you got this far by being a weirdo.” Steve had finally said after the conversation had basically gone nowhere. “I guess keep talking about eating bats and fake being drunk and you’ll get the guy.”

“You know, when you put it like that I’m starting to see why maybe this whole casual dating thing hasn’t worked for me in the past.” you had replied. 

Most of your Halloween was spent by yourself, but that wasn’t a bad thing. You started off with a nice slow morning of carving your annual jack o'lantern, having learned the hard way to not put it out early, lest it rot or be smashed by asshole kids in the neighborhood. The afternoon was spent around town, just taking in the crisp fall air and the decorations set up by all of the shops.. 

The hypocrisy in this town was stunning sometimes. Every other day of the year you had been followed by whispers of the Satanic Panic and any idea that something other than the norm might be related to something more nefarious was ostracized. Sometimes you could understand where the fear was coming from, after all the Byers kid had disappeared, presumed dead, and then had come back all within a week a few years ago. Barbara Holland had been killed by chemicals in the Hawkins Lab. There was even the fire at the mall that had killed the police chief, as well as the local lifeguard. It seemed like every single year some new tragedy would strike the small town. 

You couldn’t wait to run away to somewhere else. 

But for now, the day was yours and the night was Eddie’s. Your stomach flipped every time you thought about meeting up with him tonight. You had built up this production a lot over the past few days. You had seen the shadow cast about once a month since you were old enough to go at 18, give or take a few times where you had other plans. 

Each time you had gone, you had checked the board hoping to see the announcement that they would be opening auditions to be part of the cast or crew. But the show was tight knit, and that rarely happened. 

But at least that meant that tonight you could share something with Eddie other than your origami. Not that you were embarrassed by your hobby, but compared to running a D&D campaign and being in a band, it didn’t feel like much. 

You never seemed to run out of things to talk about with Eddie though, during your late night talks on the phone. When you weren’t captivated by his tales of running Hellfire or the inspiration for his music, you two would talk about everything else. Music, movies, the occasional small town gossip, anything you two could think of. You had already compiled a small list of movies that only one of you had seen, because all new relationships always start with “What do you mean you haven’t seen this movie?!”

That’s how you and Steve and Robin had bonded over those first few months. It probably wouldn’t be that much different with Eddie. 

After a long stroll through the town, a quick stop in to your favorite coffee shop for a treat, and a bout of window shopping in the Halloween aisles of local stores, you made your way home. You considered dropping by the high school to see Eddie as the afternoon came to a close, but you didn’t want to seem desperate. You’d see him soon enough anyway. 

As the evening went on, you popped in a few thematically appropriate movies that you watched between doing your hair and make up and passing out candy to kids who came up to your door. You may or may not have saved some of the best candy for yourself. And Eddie. He liked Snickers right? You hoped he did. 

You were ready a good two hours before you needed to meet him at the theater at midnight. You were starting to wish that you had invited him over to pre-game before the movie, but unfortunately you had listened to some of Steve’s advice and were left sitting around in your fishnets and dark lipstick for your first date with Eddie. The only thing you weren’t wearing yet were your tall boots which you only broke out for this showing because they were too uncomfortable to wear anywhere else. 

Steve had relented that you were going to dress weird for the date, considering the day and the nature of what you and Eddie were doing, but he said it’d be too weird to get ready with him. 

You decided that next time would be different. Next year, you’d have Eddie over all day, and the two of you would spend the day carving pumpkins and listening to music and arguing over what movie to watch as you passed out candy. Eddie would probably be stingy with the candy so that there would be leftovers for the two of you at the end of the night, and you’d be giving bars out by the handfuls. Maybe the two of you would cough up the dough for some full sized candy bars for kids with really fun costumes and-

What were you doing? You weren’t even officially dating yet, the first date hadn’t even happened! You were getting ahead of yourself, and thinking way too far ahead. You didn’t need to be thinking these domestic thoughts about a guy you barely knew. 

Get your shit together. You scolded yourself. Let’s try and go on one date first, then maybe have dirty thoughts about him and then I can have mushy domestic thoughts about him if things go well.

You were really hoping things went well. 

After around 10 pm the trick-or-treaters tapered off and you dumped the remaining candy in your bag for the movie. Your hand itched for the phone around 10:30, your brain telling you that it was getting late and that you should call Eddie now if you wanted to talk to him before bed, and you reminded yourself that you’ll see him in an hour. 

The hour could not go any slower. 

“Steve, I’m freaking out.” you said into the phone the second he picked up. “What the fuck am I doing?!”

“You’re going on a date with Eddie Munson to a midnight showing of a movie that has no plot.” he yawned. 

You resisted the urge to hang up on him and instead paced around your living room, holding onto the phone. 

“Steve, I’m serious!” 

“So am I, the more you talk about the movie the less sense it makes.” 

You lightly smacked your head against the wall. “How do you do this every week with different girls?! I’m going on one date and I feel too damn antsy.”

The chord to your phone stretched to its limit as you walked towards your bookshelf and pulled out your senior year yearbook, flipping through it. 

“Dating is like any other skill, you have to practice and actually do it to be any good.” Steve sighed into the phone. 

“I hate that.” you said, looking through the Ms. Maddison... Morrison.... Munson. 

No photo available, what the actual fuck? You flipped through the book, to the club section but there was no trace or whisper of the Hellfire Club at all in the 1984 Hawkins High yearbook. 

“This was your idea.” Steve reminded you as you pushed the book away and reached for 1983’s yearbook. 

“And? I have a lot of ideas and not all of them are good.” You flipped through the book, trying to find Eddie’s name and photo. Why hadn’t you thought of this before?

“So... are you chickening out, again?” You could hear the mild annoyance in his voice. 

“No! I’m just... I’m just nervous, alright? I haven’t been on a date since Junior year. Wait no, there was that horrible study date in Senior year. It’s been a while okay?” you groaned. 

You scanned the Ms again, stopping for a split second to snicker at Chris Morrison’s horrible yearbook photo. His hair was an unfortunate overgrown sandy haircut that looked like a bad mix of a mullet and a bowl cut, with a fringe that fell in his gray eyes. His face was stoic and he looked like he wanted to kill whoever was in charge of the camera. 

A few photos later was Eddie Munson’s Junior year photo. Somehow seeing his face in your yearbook made your shoulders relax a little bit. You at least could confirm that you had indeed gone to school with him. His face was softer looking, and his hair fell just below his jawline.You saw a peak of his Hellfire shirt, the same one in Chris’s photo. He was smiling, well as best as a teenage boy who doesn’t want to get his photo taken would smile. It was endearing, and something in the back of your mind started nagging at you that this Eddie looked more familiar. 

“Hello? Anyone home?” 

You snapped back to reality, remembering that you were on the phone with Steve. “Yeah, sorry I got distracted. What was that?” 

“I said you shouldn’t be nervous.” Steve repeated. “You like him. He likes you. It’s not that complicated. He wouldn’t have shown up that night if he didn’t have an interest in you.”

“Oh, but what if it is that complicated, Stevie?” You sighed dramatically. “After all, the three of us seem to be horribly unlucky in love.”

“You’re telling me.” Steve admitted. “Three dozen dates later and I’m still looking for that spark.” 

Steve had been head over heels for Nancy Wheeler, and had his heart crushed. You hadn’t had any luck in love ever, with only a few failed dates under your belt from high school, and two one-night stands. Robin... you couldn’t get a read on her. She seemed to have a crush on someone, and Steve definitely knew who it was but they weren’t telling you. It hurt a little, but you knew that the two had a bond that you wouldn’t be able to touch. If Robin wanted to tell you, she would. 

Okay, you did ask and make sure that the person she was crushing on wasn’t Eddie. The last thing you wanted was to date someone who your friend had feelings for. Thankfully, Robin had quickly cleared up that she didn’t even know Eddie and therefore can confidently say that she had absolutely no feelings for the guy, romantic or otherwise. 

Steve spent the next half hour calming you down and talking to you as you flipped through your high school yearbooks, picking out Eddie’s photo in each one. There was even a small blurb about the Hellfire Club in your freshman yearbook. As you delved deeper in time, his hair got shorter and shorter, and he looked more and more familiar. 

Where did you know this guy from? 

When the clock struck 11 pm, you said your goodbye to Steve, checked yourself out in the mirror one last time, and made your way to the theater. 

It was twenty minutes until show time when you parked your car and made your way into the lobby. The yellow lights illuminated the crowd of people who had shown up for the annual midnight screening, and you took a deep breath as you scanned the crowd. 

Just for tonight, you felt like you could breathe. 

Freaks and weirdos from all over had come together for a night of sex jokes, aliens, music, and yelling at a screen. The room was filled with people covered in leather, and lingerie and costumes from both the show and other media. There were a few familiar faces, and you spotted two people that you recognized from the shadow cast in the corner. They looked... upset. Not at each other, you recognized the way they were talking to each other. You and Steve and Robin had given each other the same looks before when Keith had fucked up the schedule or a customer pissed one of you off. 

Whatever was the matter, the two quickly finished their bitch session and made their way back into the theater. You wondered what that was about, but didn’t have time to think about it too hard because a hand fell on your shoulder. 

Your breath caught in your throat when you turned around to see your date. Eddie’s hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, which really showed his jawline and really long neck you wondered what the square of his jaw would feel like against your lips. He hadn’t ditched his battle vest or leather jacket you weren’t complaining and he was wearing a cropped shirt . You had to force yourself to not look at his exposed midriff you’ve never wanted to bite someone’s hips before holy shit, or note the fine trail of hair just below his belly button that dipped into his dark ripped jeans where a peak of blue boxers were peaking out. Did he taste as good as he looked?!  He had swapped out a few of his rings, but the obsidian one on his right hand stayed, and the chains on his jacket, bracelet and wallet made a noise with every movement he made. What would that sound like if he was on top of you? 

A small voice in the back of your mind told you that Dustin Henderson could rent any movie he ever wanted ever forever as long as you worked Family Video. 

You pushed those sudden X rated feelings down, and smiled up at him. “Hey, I’m glad you made it.” you managed to say, tongue tied as you thought about what you’d rather your tongue suddenly be doing- 

Eddie’s eyes drifted down your outfit in the same way that you were sure you had just looked at him. The idea that he might also be thinking similar thoughts about you made your heart race before he turned away. He was now looking around the lobby with wide eyes, taking in all the different people his expression was somewhere between elation and disbelief. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many freaks in person.” he said, his eyes darting around to the crowds of people. 

“You aren’t at Hawkins High and these aren’t children.” you said, watching his expression. “It’s why I like coming here each month. I get to meet people who are more like me.”

Eddie took in the scene, and you took in Eddie. Horny thoughts aside, you wondered how often he got to see people who weren’t cut from the standard Hawkins cookie cutter. From what he’d told you during your late night calls, his social circle was tiny. His only friends were in Hawkins, except for one Ronnie Ecker. 

You had escaped the monster that was Hawkins High School, even if you were still stuck in the beast of a town. You didn’t have much room to judge his smaller group when Steve and Robin were the only ones who you reliably hung out with on a regular basis. Even then, you knew that the two of them had a connection that went deeper than just coworkers and people who went to school together. 

Did Eddie have someone that he connected with the same way Robin and Steve did? There were so many things about him that you still wanted to know about him. 

A voice called your name, and your eyes lit up as you saw Robin and Steve walking over to the two of you. Excitement then shifted to confusion, wait, what were they doing here? Did they come here to crash your date? That didn’t seem right, not after Steve had put in so much effort into making sure that this date actually happened. 

You and Robin hugged and Steve gave a slightly awkward hello. Eddie was looking between you and your two friends, looking just as confused as you felt. 

“Hey, Robin!” you said, trying to figure out what was going on. “What are you guys doing here?”

“You invited us a month ago, remember?” Robin asked. “You made a big deal about dragging us to the Halloween showing this year and Steve and I got tickets. But don’t worry! We know this is a date so me and Steve are going to sit at the opposite side of the theater and make sure that we don’t bother you. Of course, Steve said that we shouldn’t come but we had already bought the tickets and I wanted to come and see this again.”

Oh... oh shit. Right. You had done that, hadn’t you? Before you and Steve had even started this whole thing, you had been bugging him to come see it with you. Robin had come and done it once with you earlier at the end of Summer, but Steve hadn’t been able to make it. 

In a sea of lingerie, leather, and sequins, Steve stood out like a sore thumb in his yellow sweater and tall hair. For once, he looked like the odd one out. Robin had always had a slightly edgier style, and with her sharpied black nails and chain necklaces, she fit right in. 

You were going to give Steve so much shit for it later. 

“Look, I didn’t expect us to actually come out tonight until Robin called and demanded I pick her up.” Steve said, apologetically. 

“I see what’s going on.” Eddie spoke up, looking between the three of you. “Mom and Dad are here to chaperone your first date.” 

You threw your head back and cackled at the joke, laughing unabashedly. 

“Steve’s the single mom with six kids.” Robin said. “But I’m not Dad, I’m more like the cool weird aunt.” 

“‘Why am I always the mom?!” Steve demanded. 

“Because you have six kids, Steve, keep up.” you pointed out. “But we all know Dustin’s your favorite.” 

“I’m telling Wheeler.” Eddie chimed in. 

“I’m not the mom, I’m the babysitter!” 

“You literally gave Max lunch money two weeks ago.”

“That doesn’t mean-”

“Oh look! They’re starting to tag the Virgins!” You suddenly said excitedly. 

Steve and Eddie stopped and stared at you, as your eyes darted to the two cast members that you had seen earlier. Whatever they had been bitching about was now put aside, and they were now walking around, each holding a bright red tube of lipstick. They had approached some guy and drew a giant V on their forehead. 

“Right, I didn’t really tell you about this.” you explained. “So at each showing, if you’ve never seen the movie in theaters you’re called a ‘virgin’. So, there’s a bit of a hazing ritual for newcomers. They call it the Virgin Sacrifice here. Basically, they draw a V on your forehead, and then before the show starts they’ll have the Virgins come up on stage, do some sort of dare or task, and then the movie starts.”

“How bad is it?” Steve asked as Robin grabbed his arm and started dragging him to the cast members. 

“It’s usually not that bad.” You said. “When I was a Virgin Sacrifice a few years ago they had me ‘Pledge Allegiance to the Lips’ and taught me how to do the Time Warp on stage while the sprayed me with silly string.” 

“When I went they had all of us blow up a bunch of red balloons and then hit them with thumb tacks when they were still in our mouths.” Robin laughed. “They called it ‘The Great Cherry Popping’.”

“Oh my God, I remember that one guy had crazy lung capacity and blew up like, ten in a row!” you cackled. 

“What do you think they’ll have us do?” Eddie asked, and for a second your brain froze as you felt his hand wrap around yours as you started to approach the cast members. You could feel the metal of his rings, warmed by his skin, pressing into yours. 

“They always mix it up every month so it’s hard to say.” you said. “But they always go crazy for the Virgin Sacrifices on Halloween.” 

“Got a fresh Virgin for you!” Robin says, shoving Steve in front of the Columbia actress who looked Steve up and down as if she were going to eat him. 

“Aww, a cute little Virgin just for me?!” she squealed. “You shouldn’t have! Come here, Big Boy.”

Steve didn’t have much time to react as a large V was placed on his forehead with the lipstick. He didn’t seem to mind, however, when Columbia leaned over and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, leaving a large lipstick stain. 

“You know, maybe I’m seeing the appeal of this.” He said as you pushed Eddie up next. 

“A two for one deal for ya, Columbia!” you said proudly. 

“Two?!” Her eyes lit up, and you could tell that she was having the time of her life. “Is it my birthday?!” 

She looked at Eddie and pushed his bangs back as she drew the V on his forehead and gave him a smooch on the cheek as well. You could already tell what Steve was thinking when he looked at you. Probably something like It’s not normal to let another girl kiss your date or something like that. And okay, fine, you were planning on wiping the lipstick off of Eddie’s face before you went in for the kiss tonight, but you didn’t see any reason to be jealous. You knew exactly what was going to happen tonight. Hell, when you first came you ended the night with three different lipstick marksI Really, Steve and Eddie were getting stiffed tonight. Besides, Eddie hadn’t given you any reason to not trust him, and why start anything if you didn’t trust a guy?

“His name is Eddie.” you offered up and Steve gave you another look that you translated to Are you wing manning your own date?! You ignored it. 

“What a coincidence! My boyfriend’s name is Eddie!” Columbia said excitedly. “You two even have the same leather jacket! Do you also ride a motorcycle?”

To your delight, Eddie didn’t miss a beat. “Not yet, but I might one day. Just a van for now.”

“Ohh, I bet a lot of fun happens in the back of your van.” she winked, and you could see a slight blush spread across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “You should come join me and my Eddie for dinner next week, we’re having Meat Loaf!” 

You and Robin burst into a fit of giggles at the joke, as Eddie and Steve made eye contact for a moment and just shrugged at each other. Columbia gave Robin a wink and sauntered off to another group with their own Virgin to sacrifice.

With your Virgins freshly marked, snacks in hand,  and the doors to the theater opening, you parted ways with Steve and Robin as they made their way to the front row and you made your way to the back with Eddie. 

“The back row has my favorite call and response.” you explained as the two of you made your way to an open pair of seats. “And there are a lot of lines that are standard with every show, but if you can think of a good one, don’t even hesitate. Just call it out, okay? I’ll also warn you when people are about to start throwing things.”

“So, this is a bad movie where we are encouraged to yell and throw things?” Eddie asked, a wide grin on his face. “And where we sit depends on what we say?”

“Yes, it’s complete chaos.” you said. “I love it. Every show is always a little different because of the audience participation. Keeps it fresh, you know? Also, if you sit in the back you won’t get popcorn on your hair.” 

“Jeff dumped a bucket of popcorn in my hair once.” Eddie said. “It took me a week to get all the kernels out.”

“How the hell did that happen?!”

“I was sitting down, he was walking over with popcorn to bribe me for some roll, and then there was popcorn and butter everywhere.”

“I take it you didn’t give him the advantage he wanted?” you giggled. 

“No, he desiccated a snack in front of the Dungeon Master. He’s lucky I didn’t kill his character off when that happened.”

“The more I hear you talk about Hellfire, the more I wish I had been able to join in school.” you sighed. “You always sound like you have so much fun.”

“You... sometimes I do run some one-shots.” Eddie said, messing with one of his rings. “I haven’t done a game for beginners in a while but I could get the others to suck it up and run one for you.”

A warmth burned in your cheeks and you smiled at him. “Really? You’d run a game for me just so I could play?”

“Oh yeah, but just so you know, your movie isn’t the only thing that has its own hazing ritual.” Eddie smiled at you. “I tend to go extra hard on new players, just to make sure that they’re really up for the challenge of being in Hellfire.” 

You can go extra hard on me. You just barely managed to keep that as an inside thought with the way he was looking at you with those intense doe eyes. You definitely didn’t miss the subtle way his eyes darted to your lips for just a split second. 

Oh, you were so going to kiss him tonight. Not yet, not right now. If you went in for the kiss now, you just knew that you wouldn’t want to stop kissing him. And as much as you wouldn’t mind that, you also really wanted to share this experience with him. 

“So, is that a Hellfire thing, or a you thing?” you asked. “Did any former Dungeon Masters have hazing rituals, or are you just that sadistic?” 

“Chris didn’t need to haze anyone, if that’s what you’re asking.” Eddie said. “Hard to haze new players if he never let anyone new play.”

“Touche.” 

“He was actually in the theater program the last semester he was with Hellfire.” Eddie said suddenly, as if he had just remembered. “He got roped into doing backstage work for the Spring play and ran Hellfire into the ground. He’d always change the schedule of when we could meet up, and then get pissed with everyone when he couldn’t keep up.”

“I heard that doing tech for the shows is always a lot of work.” you said. “But it really sucks that he got pissed.”

“He ended up fully quitting Hellfire halfway through the semester, and that’s when I took over.” Eddie explained. “I had already been running the club anyway, but that just made it more official.” 

The lights in the theater flickered on and off, signaling the start of the show. 

“They’ll probably call you up to be part of the Virgin Sacrifice.” you said. “If you want to back out, no judgment. Your hair covers your shame, so you could probably duck out”

“I’ll do it.” Eddie said. “It���s only fair, if I run a one-shot for you and refuse to go easy on you, the least I can do is get on stage for your interest.” 

Had anyone ever shown this much interest in something you cared about? Robin had come with you before, and Steve had to be dragged here but this felt different somehow. Shit, the more you talked to him, the more you were tempted to ask him to leave the theater right now and show you the back of his van. 

“You know, I really always wanted to be part of the shadow cast.” you explained. “I’d love to be on stage as Columbia or Janet, hell I’d even love to be Riff Raff.”

“You want to be on stage in your underwear once a month?” Eddie raised an eyebrow. 

“It looks fun, but they never have auditions. It’s a pretty tight community, so you really have to know someone to get in. The most I’ve been able to do is sign up for clean up duty after the show. They give you tickets to the next show if you do that.”

The house lights went down, and you waited for the stage lights to come on and for the cast to come up and introduce the show and start the Virgin Sacrifice. The idea of seeing Steve and Eddie up there made you so giddy, and you couldn’t wait to tell Eddie more about the cast. 

But the stage lights never came on. Instead the movie just went and started and soon a bright red pair of lips were on screen, singing to everyone. 

They were skipping the Virgin Sacrifice? You had been going to this show for years and they never skipped the Virgin Sacrifice. And on Halloween? What was going on?

You were disappointed, but there was no use letting it ruin your evening. You shook it off and focused on singing along and teaching Eddie the important things to shout and when. How could you be too disappointed when Eddie was having so much fun? He was a natural, and witty and was quick to pick up on the jokes. 

It helped even more that he was still holding your hand. 

But something felt off during the whole show. There were a few members of the cast that you didn’t recognize, and they were giving a less than stellar performance. Choreography was wrong, the lip syncing was off, and Janet’s bra and slip were too... sexy. You also felt the man with the long sandy hair playing Rocky would have better been suited for Riff Raff.

Whoever coordinated this show, didn’t do a very good job. You felt bad that Steve and Eddie’s first time at the show wasn’t the best, especially after you had talked it up so much. 

If Eddie noticed the lackluster performance, he didn’t say anything. Maybe you were being too nitpicky, he was having a blast after all. Eddie was cracking jokes, and his voice carried through the theater so well even the front row fuck the front row! could hear him. 

As the credits rolled, and everyone made their way out to the lobby, you met back up with Steve and Robin. 

“That movie made even less sense than when you told us about it.” Steve said and you just shrugged. 

“I never said it made sense, I just said it was fun.” 

“I wouldn’t mind coming back.” Eddie said. “I wonder if they’d consider a live band to go with the stage actors.” 

You had to stop yourself from dropping down to your knees. One knee or two, you hadn’t decided yet. 

Robin yawned and you caught a glimpse of a lipstick mark on her jaw. You made a note to ask about that later. “If I’m out any later, my parents are gonna kill me. I still have school in the morning.” 

“Alright, let’s get you home.” Steve said. “See you two around.” His eyes darted down to where your hand and Eddie’s were still clasped together before pushing Robin out of the lobby and towards the parking lot. 

You and Eddie followed behind, but didn’t head straight for your cars. The two of you moved to stand below the yellow lighting of the yellow marquis. You watched as Eddie leaned against the brick wall and lit a cigarette, blowing smoke that disappeared under the clear sky. 

Under this lighting, you had a familiar feeling. There was something in the back of your mind, like a picture that was made of the same smoke coming from between his lips. Every time you reached out and almost had it, it disappeared in an instant. Something about the way he looked right now gave you a faint memory of being nervous, but not in a bad way. 

“That might be the first time I’ve ever felt normal.” Eddie said, looking at you. “I didn’t realize how many freaks there really were in Indiana.” 

“There are freaks and weirdos everywhere, if you know where to look.” you said. Eddie pocketed his lighter and took another drag. “Most people hide it though. I’m glad you don’t.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to see someone really being themselves in this town. You’re a breath of fresh air.” you looked out at the street, watching as people got in their cars and drove out of the parking lot. You caught a glimpse of the Columbia, only catching her by her hair and make up as she rushed out of the theater towards the parking lot. “I... even if this doesn’t go anywhere, I like you.” you admitted. “I want to keep being friends.”

Eddie frowned and faced you. He had dropped your hand to light his cigarette, and you noticed his hand move towards yours before stopping and falling back to his side. 

“Is this your way of letting me down easy?” he asked, and your heart broke seeing the confusion in his big brown doe eyes. 

“No!” you said quickly. “No, not even a little. No. I want to see you again. A lot.” 

Eddie’s face relaxed and this time he did take your hand. He dropped his cigarette and snuffed out the butt with his sneaker. You took the hint and moved closer to him as well. 

“You like me?” he asked, and you liked the way his dimples showed when he smiled. 

That was the high sign. You didn’t even care that he still had a lipstick mark on his cheek, when all you could focus on were those warm brown eyes. You started to lean in, and you felt Eddie’s free hand move to your arm and up towards your shoulder. When he got close enough to count his unfairly long eyelashes, you closed your eyes-

“Eddie? Eddie Munson?”

Reality snapped back into place as you two heard a voice. You looked at Eddie’s face first, and there was an intense look in his eyes. His hand fell from your arm, while you tried to decipher what his expression meant. 

You turned around to see who he was looking at, ready to kill whoever had interrupted the moment. 

You hadn’t recognized him on stage as Rocky. The man's long sandy hair was now tied back and his overgrown fringe still fell into his gray eyes. He had filled out since high school, and he wasn’t wearing that stony scowl that had been his staple all through the years you’d seen him. 

“Chris Morrison?!”

ALSO I think I might have run out of blogs to tag? It won't let me tag anymore blogs for the tag list but you can also find this story on AO3 and sub there as well!

Next Chapter

a/n: This chapter turned out way longer than expected and I still didn't fit everything into it! I had a whole other scene planned out, but that just means I have the motivation to start on the next part!

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag List: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirl320 @perpetualmessmachine @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3 @siriuslysmoking @pookiesnatcher @sky-full-0f-fl0wers @takemetoneverlandbabe @killjoynotes @maelibo @themunsonator5000 @wheels-of-despair @woodlandsubshrub @ghcstpyre @pedroschka

[allsadnshit]

How did you meet your husband? And what was your story like?

I met my husband on tumblr when we were both like 17-18 but actually started dating when we were 24

We were mutuals for many years, just casually friends from different cities with no plans of ever hanging out but would chat sometimes, support each other's art, and recommend music/books

I had mutual friends with him irl because lots of people from my arts high school in Pittsburgh ended up in Philly at Tyler which shared a campus with his school which was funny but we still were really only internet friends till 2020 when during the first lockdown I had been through a break up earlier that year and had spent a lot of time alone and sort of thinking more deeply and uninterrupted than I ever had about romance and love because I was unhappy where I was at. I was also really sick at the time and had been getting more sick for the last 4-5 years without finding the reason why so it was just generally a very life changing moment of needing to soul search on a lot of levels to cope with what was happening.

My long time best friend ended up asking me "If you could date anyone, not just who you know or who's around, who would you ask out?" and I had never thought about it like that because I was very much a creature of comfort and usually dated co workers or friends within my social circles out of availability - but I answered right away with my husband which felt funny because I had not ever actually considered him a "crush" up until that point but I realized he was in my eyes, the coolest person I knew.

So I dm'd him on instagram (which he very rarely used) and said something flirty for the first time like "hey nice birkenstocks, maybe we can wear them together on a lavender farm sometime" not knowing if that would be weird since I had never been suggestive towards him before then but to my surprise he reciprocated hard and fast like no hesitation! We realized it had never occurred to either of us to consider something long distance but that we were both very attracted to each other and the timing just lined up well!

We started texting every day for about a month and I also moved into a new short term lease, and within that month of talking he bought his first car so he could come and meet me. He drove in on a friday after work and didn't get to my house till like 1am, but we just had a really intense emotional/spiritual connecting right away and I think both of realized it was serious very fast. I was actually so nervous that I got constipated to the point he had to drive me to the ER on his last night visiting. I told all the nurses I had just met my true love.

After he had to go back to Philly, he drove back up a month later to stay for a whole week, during which we decided he'd come move in with me for the rest of my 6 month lease and then I'd come move to Philly to be with him. I also realized that for all this to happen, I needed to take a risk and find out what was really going on with me medically, so I also got a diagnostic surgery where they found endometriosis. It was a really hard recovery that he was there for me for, and when I was healed up enough and my lease ended he drove us back to Philly. We got married in 2021 about a year later.

He is the treasure of my life <3

[teyvats-worst-hero]

Diluc Ragnvindr is a Fucking Menace

(A fight style analysis for @moonilit )

Do you see this man? Do you SEE him???? THIS MAN HAS 3 FUCKING FIGHT SCENES IN THE PROLOGUE ALONE.

And you know what I’ve gathered from this?

1. He’s a menace to society and needs to remember that fire kills people

His burst is a giant fuck-you phoenix flying directly across the battlefield. Diluc. Diluc do you THINK???? That is SO much collateral damage! That’s SO FUCKING DANGEROUS!

This supports my own personal theory that he’s totally not used to fighting near… Well, people. And residential buildings. And… Things in general.

He’s used to being hunted through the snowy wastes of Snezhnaya by the Fatui and their harbingers. That is not a place where you’re thinking of collateral damage! That’s just survival!

Even though there are other characters with huge bursts, they usually don’t share the intent of clearing a battlefield. Diluc’s burst pushes you back. It’s unusual! It’s utilitarian! It’s specifically meant to compensate for being outnumbered or overpowered.

This whole “utilitarian use of elements to push mobs of enemies away from you” thing reminds me of a certain…. Someone.

(Which is incredibly fitting for an early game player. You’re likely to get these two characters during the part of the game where you’re constantly overwhelmed by even basic enemies.)

2. Sick hops

Speaking of being outnumbered and overpowered, this guy can hop 20 feet in the air, do a sick flip, and land in running form approximately 4 times per fight. Incredibly anime of him I must say.

Usually a guy relying on pure firepower and brute strength wouldn’t be so acrobatic. But yet again, I look at his coming-of-age murder crusade and I go “yeah that checks out.” He was running away and trying not to get skewered for like two years.

He seems especially well versed in ice, because in the next scene, he’s encased in ice and melts himself out in seconds.

Isn’t that adorable? Kaeya gets the fire trauma and Diluc gets the ice trauma!

3. Former Cavalry(?) Captain

His normal, charged, and skill attacks seem to be closer to what he just learned. He swings are heavy and brutal. Exactly when you’d expect from a local anime vigilante.

IF HE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE THE FORMER CAVALRY CAPTAIN!

You can’t use a fucking GREATSWORD on a fucking HORSE. It makes even less sense than Kaeya. I cannot see Diluc “You killed my father, prepare to die” Ragnvindr learning to use a bow or a polearm as a kid either. He would fucking break them. Like Noelle.

I wanna see that interaction

But this leads into my theory that “Cavalry Captain” is legitimately just a front for the position of “Spymaster.” It would make a lot of sense actually. Only deeply trusted individuals, highly skilled in intelligence work with significant connections, seem to get the title. And why is it that two Cavalry Captains were chosen, or at least, were likely to be chosen, as the third in command? That’s so specific and weird.

Diluc likely never needed to learn in-depth cavalry techniques to become Cavalry Captain. That wasn’t his job. Therefore, he is not a bow or polearm user, and he appears to work best in melee combat.

In Conclusion:

Diluc Ragnvindr is used to fighting for his own life in the snowy wasteland, not working around collateral damage and moral quandaries about vigilantism.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

The writing is not writing so um

*Bursts into tears*

Aidlyn ship question thingy because they are the only thing keeping me alive at this point 🙃 BTW this thing is EXTREMELY long so be warned.

Questions from @jennystahl

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

1. How did they first meet?

On the school bus during their first day of freshmen year, obviously :)

2. What was their first impression of each other?

Ash: ... ... ...well. you know. she thought he was a creep- which, to be fair, is a little bit true. Annoying, pushy, borderline stalkerish...she also thought his contacts were weird.

Aiden: He thought she seemed really interesting :) he was very excited to talk to her and he thought that her sitting in front of them was a sign she wanted to start a conversation. Thought her hair was pretty.

3. Did any of their friends and family want to get them together?

Taylor thinks they are super cute together! So does Logan, one time he offered to check their star sign compatibility ^_^ Ben is totally supportive of whatever Aiden wants to do, will be his "wingman" if he asks. Tyler thinks they should just suck it up and get together already. Her parents...ehh...they trust her to make good decisions, even if they think Aiden is "eccentric" (they're still on good terms with him tho!), Jessica and Daniel are just happy he found somebody.

4. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Aiden aiden aiden aiden.

5. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Hahaha hahaha. Yes! Of course- Aiden didn't think Ash would ever like him like that so he kinda just buried his feelings since he DEEPLY values his friendship with her. Ash is not really good at distinguishing her feelings between romantic and platonic so it took her a long time to realize. At the beginning she was kinda freaked out about it, but she accepted it pretty quickly.

6. If you had told one of them that the other would be their soul mate, what would they think?

Depends when, but I assume this means when they just met.

Ash: "what kind of sick joke is that?"

Aiden: I don't think the idea would bother him or anything. Would probably get a good laugh out of it though.

7. What would their lives be like if they had never met?

No phantom dimension at least, but Ashlyn would probably be coasting through life alone struggling to make connections, and Aiden would probably keep spiralling if he didn't make any real friends. I think he'd be a lot more unhappy than her.

GENERAL

1. Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Ashlyn. She told him kind of bluntly that she had feelings for him and that she wanted to get that off her chest (Taylor gave her the advice). Aiden was ecstatica to say the least.

2. Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

Not really...they'd already hung out together alone so they just went out again and did what they usually did. They just like to go somewhere quiet like the graveyard and spend time together, Ash's love language is quality time <3

3. What was their first kiss like?

*kneels* Red...I'm praying rn because i hope this will happen in the webtoon...

BUT FOR NOW

Probably a heat of the moment kind of thing. Specially if it was Aiden that was injured. It takes a lot for Ash to take initiative lol. If they weren't dealing with the phantom dimension anymore, I think Aiden would just ask her if he could kiss her after a date or smth. Either way, it's probably very awkward on Ash's part lmao :"D they probably knocked their teeth together haha

4. Were they each other's first anything?

Aiden is pretty much Ash's first...everything. he's the first guy she's kissed, her first relationship, and, technically, her first friend. Ash is Aiden's first romantic relationship. He's had friends before tho and he's kissed some other people, but nothing serious.

5. Height difference? Age difference?

Aiden is 174 cm and Ashlyn is 155 cm, so...7ish inches? I don't know how to convert-

Aiden was born in October 2000, and Ash was born in June 2001, so they have about 8 months between them 👍🏽

6. What's their relationship with each other's families? Do they share a friend group?

Ofc they share a friend group lol.

Mike and Emma like Aiden ^_^ they're pretty close with all of Ash's friends, but when they found out they were dating they didn't spare him the "parent-boyfriend" talk lol. Ash's relationship with his parents is...pretty awkward, she doesn't like them all that much, but Aidens been working on their relationship so she doesn't say anything. Same with his aunt and uncle. She likes hanging out with Lily tho, even if she's awkward around kids :)

7. Who takes the lead in social situations?

Depends on the situation, but usually Aiden will, he basically has no filter when it comes to talking with people lol. Very much the "Excuse me sir, she asked for no pickles." Meme 🤡 (Ash would just be annoyed and scrape them off)

8. Who gets jealous easier?

Aiden absolutely. It's the BPD + ADHD rejection sensitivity. Can spiral into irrationality ngl. Thankfully he doesn't get aggressive or gives her the cold shoulder, if anything he gets clingier.

9. Who whispers unsuitable things in the others' ear?

Aiden 100% 🫠 will say the most out of pocket shit ever at the worst possible time and Ash just has to fight back her laugh because oh my god, this guy.

LOVE

1. Who said "I love you" first?

Aiden. She got kinda awkward and couldn't say it back, but he didn't take it personally because she hugged him afterwards.

2. What are their primary love languages?

Ash is quality time as mentioned above. She doesn't need grand gestures, or gifts, or him reassuring her constantly, she just wants to...be around him.

Aiden is definitely touch. It's easy, it makes him feel good, and he feels like it expresses what he wants to say better than words. But he really likes it when Ash reassures him with words of affirmation anyways.

3. Who uses cheesy pick-up lines?

Do you even have to ask? Aiden pretty much greets her with one every day and Ash still hasn't understood a single one. There's also like, a 25% chance he will forget the pick up line half way through delivering it so he'll just bungle the whoel thing up.

4. How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

Aiden kinda hovers around her in public so PDA is a given. She's got a pretty strict "no pda at school" rule tho. She's okay with him putting his arm around her or putting their heads together, but no kissing. Cuddling at home? That's fine, she likes napping with him.

5. Who initiates kisses?

Ash if it's on the mouth, Aiden if it's anywhere else.

6. Who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Neither, they sleep facing each other. Aiden moves around in his sleep a lot which drives Ash nuts. They usually end up tangled together, to Ash's despair.

7. What are their favourite things to do together?

Ash isn't super picky, she generally prefers something they can do at home. She really likes watching documentaries about her special interests while they lie on the couch together.

Aiden likes doing puzzles with her, they get to talk together while doing one of his favourites activities :) he likes to go out too, but he doesn't want Ash to get overstimulated, so they'll usually go out to some deserted place at night.

8. Who's better at comforting the other?

They both suck at it lmao 💀 but Aiden calms down a lot faster than Ash does, so technically Ash is better.

9. Who's more protective?

They both are extremely protective. And like in a feral way ngl. They WILL choose violence lol.

10. Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

Ash likes physical affection because she doesn't really know how to respond to verbal affection. Aiden is fine with either, a cuddle or a compliment is good for him :) Slight preference towards physical touch tho, and verbal is like a little treat for him since Ash almost never does it.

11. What are some songs that apply to their relationship?

I let you go to Red's playlist for that :D (But I recommend "High on Life", good song that explains Aiden's view on Ash)

12. What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

Ash doesn't use nicknames a lot, she just calls him Aiden, or something like "stupid, idiot, dumbass, imbecile" when he's annoyed her. Mr. Durable is the closest thing to a pet name she will give him lol.

Aiden will call Ash every single freaking thing you can imagine. Baby, babe, Bae, my love if he's feeling dramatic, Red because he's obvious like that, "wifey" is he's feeling fearless lmao. And then there's the *weird* petnames; "my sweet ketchup packet", "my favourite little rubix cube", "my beautiful princess with a disorder". All of these make Ash want to rip her hair out.

13. Who remembers the little things?

Neither of them do in on purpose 🤡 Aiden will just hyperfixate on stuff Ash tells him and remember it for special occasions. Ash is more about the every day little things, reminds him to drink water, sends him food in case he forgot it, asks how he's sleeping.

DOMESTIC LIFE

1. If they get married, who proposes?

Aiden had a whole thing planned before Ash asked him for the tax benefits.

2. What's the wedding like? Who attends?

They prolly got married at city hall because they're not religious and also a big wedding in front of a lot of people stresses Ash out. The squad came and both sets of parents 👍🏽 They prolly had a small party afterwards to celebrate.

3. How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Probably just one...I think they'd either talk about it for a loooooong time or have one on accident haha

4. Do they have any pets?

A big rescue dog, breed undeterminable. :)

5. Who's the stricter parent?

Ash absolutely, somebody has gotta keep everybody in line! Not afraid to go into "Sargent mode" if necessary >:)

6. Who worries the most?

Aiden, but like in a private way where he can't even sleep. The BPD hits and he sees the world as very dangerous. Ash is better at rationalising her worries.

7. Who kills the bugs in the house?

Aiden, bugs don't really bother him, so he probably catches them if he's bored and finds one. Ash isn't afraid of bugs either, but she dislikes spiders. Too many legs :p

8. How do they celebrate holidays?

They'll usually meet up with the rest of the squad and their families! If they can't, Ash likes to keep it lowkey ^_^ Aiden WILL go all out for Halloween tho. And Christmas. And New Year's, and...yeah, they both have different ideas lol.

9. Who's more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Aiden pretty much sleeps for like 4 hours every night and gets up at like 5 in the morning just to do crap, so if they don't need to do anything, Ash will call him back to cuddle for a bit. Helps him sleep <3

10. Who's the better cook?

Ash, her parents taught her the basics. She's not a master chef or anything, but she won't set the kitchen on fire like Aiden.

11. Who likes to dance?

Ash is way more passionate about dance (specifically ballet) than Aiden is, but they both like dancing. Sometimes they slow dance at home if they're feeling romantic :)

[im-1hater]

Total Drama headcannons cause I've kept these thoughts for too long (mostly Cody lol)

Cody, Noah, and Gwen had an emo phase, Cody wasn't allowed to dress emo so he only participated in the internet culture, Noah was unfortunately enough to have supportive parents so there are at least 100 pictures of Emo Noah in the photo albums (his sisters make fun of him for that) and Gwen insist she left that phase in middle school (she didn't. Once an emo, always an emo). They jump out of their skin when they hear MCR or BOTDF (earlier 2000s with unlimited internet access...)

Cody always wanted a pet dog when he was younger but his parents always said no because 1. They're too dirty, 2. They didn't think Cody could take care of one nor did they have the time themselves to take care of it. 3. They don't like animals and love seeing Cody suffer. 4. they probably think cats are better lol. Anyways because Cody would never shut up they caved and settled on getting him a hamster, a fat, chubby, hamster that looked like it was a month away from dying and Cody loved that thing to death. He would always get the hamster the best things it needs and take care of it properly. It lived for like 3 years much to the surprise of Cody's parents. Well, when it did die today Cody was devasted to an understatement. He had a funeral for the hamster in the bathroom and tried to flush him down the toilet like you would a fish. Only the hamster just clogged the toilet making water go everywhere and Cody crying more. His parents were def PISSED and after that, he wasn't allowed any more pets (all of this happened in the 4th grade til the 6th).

Cody is almost a carbon copy of his mother (Only because I am too)

Cody has one aunt on his mom's side and three cousins, two boys and one girl. The oldest (3 years older than Cody), Logan, typically likes to tease Cody (which he hates). The second oldest (older than Cody by 2 years), Jamie, is much nicer but that's not saying much really. Though Cody was stuck with getting Jamie's hand-me-downs because they were both the same size and Logan's stuff was too big for Cody. One of the reasons why Cody was bullied so much in school. The last and youngest (15 years younger than Cody), Cody. His aunt basically forgot her nephew existed and named her son Cody and she really liked the name so she didn't want to get the name change. So whenever they're in a room together they're referred to as Cody 1 and Cody 2 (Our Cody is Cody 2 even though it was his name first, lol).

Gwen often had to babysit her younger brother (forgot his name) a lot because her mom had to work two jobs since their father left them both at a super young age (Gwen 6 and her brother 2). She usually tries to help her mom out any way she can with chores, jobs, and looking after her brother. She says the reason why she joined Total Drama was cause her brother dared her to. While that is somewhat true the main reason was actually to give the money to their mom and hopefully make them financially stable. She was definitely disappointed to get second but her mom was proud anyway.

Harold is definitely NOT an anime kid. He actually HATES weeaboos and doxxes the really weird ones that are kinda racist and fetishize Asian people. He enjoys the anime content as he enjoys a lot of Japanese culture but he isn't going down the halls of Naurto running.

Heather's parents bought her an apartment when she turned 18 just so she's out of the house cause they deadass don't want her there they pay for her bills and groceries and all that stuff. It did hurt at first but hey, free water bill!

Trent awoken the bi mess Cody is.

Cody can actually cook somewhat. Only really simple foods that he learned in the cooking class. He only bothered to learn cooking because his parents are barely there and Cody was getting sick of pizza and takeout every other night.

Noah, Cody, and Gwen are the bi trio we need (PLS I BEG I NEED THEM IN THE SAME ROOM BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING).

Noah's parents wanted all girls and lots of them, that's why there are like 8 or 9 of them. When they were pregnant they just assumed Noah was going to be a girl and didn't bother with finding out the gender and such. They were very surprised to find out he was a boy. So all his baby pictures are of him in pink girl clothes and a pink nursery. But they still love him just as much as his sisters.

Geoff had a rat tail, luckily Bridgette was able to convince him to cut it off (the only other person who liked it was Brody).

Duncan watched My Little Pony when he was 6. He always said Rainbow Dash was his favorite but it was actually Fluttershy because Duncan has a soft spot for animals.

Courtney hates kids and having to look after them while Gwen loves kids and loves watching them.

Heather's only friends are Cody and Harold (and sometimes Gwen and Leshawna but it's off and on).

Animals are naturally drawn to Cody, even Noah's dog likes Cody more than him (much to his dismay). Cody has never met an animal that hated him (besides bears...)

Cody is terrified of bears.

For some odd reason, Alejandro doesn't like Cody that much but only plays nice for Heather (he wants that twink obliterated) Cody fully knows this and he says he'll "tattle" on him for something dumb he did and Alejandro almost shits his pants each time (Cody doesn't even end up telling).

That's all and these are all correct (I don't take criticism)

I'll probably draw some of these idk

[esleep]

i am having the most ridiculously, cartoonishly bad day that i think i have ever had and i am going to be pitiful about it for a minute okay. if you read this i hope it makes your day seem much better by comparison, in fact i am pretty confident it will do that for you. it's probably a little funny also if you are not me.

testimonials: "my jaw fully dropped and stayed open the entire time, jesus christ" -shannon in reply to the 3+ minute rambling video i sent her about all of this.

here is my sordid tale, for those brave of heart and strong of stomach.

i woke up at 4 AM while having both a migraine and an anxiety attack (being around my family for extended periods will do that). i was unable to go back to sleep for multiple hours. my morning work alarm went off less than an hour after i finally drifted back off.

at work i spent 10 hours trying to catch up on a bunch of bullshit, because it was my first day back after a week and a half of hastily-arranged sick leave so i could be with my dying grandfather.

midway through my morning, i remember that last night i found a weird open sore on the back of my cat's neck, which i need to call a vet to get checked out IMMEDIATELY after work since i am supposed to be bringing a kitten home on Sunday and I do not want to bring him into a house full of ringworm or some other weird skin infection.

i start looking around online. looks like the only place anywhere nearby that will accept walk-ins AND is open after i get off work at 6 is the veterinary urgent care across town. cool. i call. they tell me their base exam cost is $110 and any treatments go on top of that. i wince and grimly make an appointment for 7 this evening.

at this point it is around noon and my stomach hurts. it's been hurting this whole time but i had kinda let it fade into the background because i thought it was just part of the anxiety. however it has been getting slowly stronger until it finally dawns on me that i am having period cramps. ten days early. cool and nice. i also do still have the migraine, thank you for asking.

i finish my work day at 6, then remember something crucial: rent. i go to bring my rent check physically to the landlord's office since i got back into town too late to mail it, and my landlord is so old school i can only pay by physical check or money order (online portal? never heard of her). the office is already closed, and they don't have a night drop available right now because their actual office was firebombed six months ago (lmao) and it's still being rebuilt so their temporary "office" is just a trailer. i panic-call my landlord, who says i can leave the check if i can manage to stuff it far enough into the door that no one can see it. i try my best. this takes a million years. the entire time i am worrying that i will be late to the vet.

we finally make it to the appointment. things seem to be going well at first - we are alone in the waiting room while i fill out my paperwork, ivy is mostly chill (shockingly). when we are brought to a room she even lets me feed her a churu through her carrier door, a decision i soon came to deeply regret. we'll get to that.

this is the first vet i've ever been to where they fully take your animal away from the "exam room" where you are supposed to wait and into a back area to examine and treat them, presumably because their protocol is built around much more severe illnesses and traumas. predictably, ivy did not like this very much. i nervously told the tech who took her away that if they had too much trouble with her, they were welcome to come and get me, because she usually behaves more for me than for anyone else. i can hear her yowling from the room where i have been told to wait, while i am staring down a sign that says "FOR YOUR SAFETY - PLEASE STAY HERE WHILE WE EXAMINE YOUR PET". it may be a liability thing for them, idk, but it is truly not my safety i am concerned about at this moment. it's not my cat's safety, either. those yowls are war cries. the beast seeks blood.

the vet comes in. he seems like a nice man. he tells me gently that he's having some trouble getting a good look at the sore because ivy is so upset (you don't say). i tell him i am happy to help them corral her, but also, i have a photo of it on my phone if he would like to look at that. he is delighted. i show him the blurry photo i took last night. he is less delighted. essentially, he tells me, this is most likely either an allergy flare-up, an infection/abscess, or possibly (least likely) ringworm. we agree on a three-pronged approach: one antibiotic shot and one steroid shot tonight, plus a tube of ointment to come home with me that i will apply once or twice a day ("whatever you can manage" he told me while nervously glancing at the door that separates us from my pet demon in the treatment room). this ointment contains more steroid and antibiotic, plus an anti-fungal, and it should help kick whatever is going on even if we can't positively identify it. he says if it gets worse or doesn't heal, or if she develops more of them, bring her back.

next to come in is a slightly wild-eyed vet tech who tells me that ivy has been attacking them all pretty badly (shocking) so they had to net her (okay that's a new one). during this process, she shit liquid diarrhea all over herself and them. after they gave her the necessary injections and tossed her from the net back into the carrier, "the poop went in with her" were the tech's exact words. she handed me a cloth and a spray bottle of disinfectant and basically told me i could stay in here as long as i needed to get the carrier cleaned up, but she couldn't stay in the room to help me because my cat is such a menace to society. that is fine. i would rather face her wrath on my own anyway.

they were not exaggerating when they told me she was absolutely covered in shit. that churu really lubricated the pipes or something because it is a frankly concerning amount of feces. her bed and blanket inside the carrier are beyond redemption. i don't really care too much about that - i've owned cats for two decades, i am wise enough not to keep anything i'm emotionally attached to inside the carrier. i am also not very squeamish about cleaning up a little poop. but what really gets to me this time is the smell. it is absolutely unholy. this is not regular cat shit smell, this is like satan's afterbirth. beyond just what's in the carrier, there is shit matted into ivy's fur all throughout her back half and a little toward the front too. she looks pitiful. but she walks out of the carrier so calmly when i open the door, almost like she's trying to preserve what dignity she can. i don't blame her. she's had a bad night.

i do what i can with the carrier to make it transportable, then go out to pay the staggering $365 that i owe for this ongoing nightmare. it is now nearly 9 pm. we've been here for two hours. i am exhausted like someone who has been to war. the extremely young boy they have running the front desk takes forever to figure out how to apply my Scratchpay (which i had to hastily apply for in the exam room), and meanwhile the smell that is coming off both me and my cat is like nothing i have ever experienced. it's freshly shocking to me every time i inhale. it's the kind of smell you never really acclimate to. i am pretty sure i have actually died and gone to hell without noticing the trip.

i bring the cat home (windows down, by necessity, praying it doesn't start raining again like it has been all day). i take her directly to the bathtub - do not pass go, do not collect $200. then i have the joy and privilege of giving her a bath in the tub. with dish soap. because that is all i have available and this is a bit too much of an emergency for me to doordash some cat shampoo. considering my cat's temperament, this goes about as well as you can imagine. by the end, the cat and i are pretty much equally wet, but at least she is mostly clean. i consider showering myself off while fully clothed, but decide against it for the sake of my bra, which is somehow the only thing still dry and untouched.

i am still a little bit in shock at how absolutely horrendous and LONG every aspect of this day has been. i need a xanax, $10,000 USD, a massage, and a handle of whiskey. i will be receiving none of that. goodnight.

[lazerswordweilder]

Notes on my Eldritch Anakin au (using force for general references to the force and Force for the ‘person’, also calling ‘force beings’ just Beings because I don’t know what else to call them)

1. He’s a baby in Being terms but he is half human and so he definitely isn’t a baby, just not fully an adult either. It’s not a full on and off sort of thing; he’s mentally (even more so by mortal terms) an adult (albeit a young adult) even if he is a bit reckless and overconfident and stuff that generally comes with being a young kid, his body is also mature by human/most mortal standards but in terms of Beings is not, the whole force and powers aspect is the only thing he’s much closer to a kid than an adult on (albeit having more control than a being his age usually would).

The Force isn’t actually a deadbeat dad, Anakin just was too young to talk to the Force expect for in a few very brief moments. This got easier as he got older and for the majority of his life with the Jedi (and probably at least a year past that) his communication with the Force was the equivalent of a toddler cooing or crying or ect at their parent which while giveing some communication doesn’t really do all that much.

2. The Son and The Daughter (definitely not their real names but I can’t think of any names for them I don’t really think they’d have any mortal names) from mortis are Anakins half siblings and in this au while it isn’t like my Balance Siblings au (which I have posted nothing about on tumblr) where he’s the embodiment of balance such as how the Son is the dark side and ect, he does represent balance to some level. Also The Father did not click with what I think the Force would act like so I’m pretending he doesn’t exist in this au.

3. Anakin is a mix of a mortal/human and Being and I believe he has to both acknowledge and keep up the health of both sides to some affect/effect, I’m not sure how exactly this would work. Before he could communicate with the Force he wouldn’t have to care about that, he’d be doing the bare minimum for both sides and probably had really crappy health. These needs would result in things like his mortal body, while it does kind of, cease to exist when he goes into a deep trace in the force whenever he ‘reforms’ it it is still his body not just one created to show himself to mortals, and so if he spends to long away from/out of it it makes him sick, and if he were to wear or do anything that blocked off the force for extended periods of time he’d also get really sick, stuff like that.

There’s also the less eldritch-ly sides of both of this, like classic human stuff, for example: he still needs to eat and drink and take care of his body to a lesser but still there extent, which he frequently pushes the limits of, although I’m sure he could find many weird ways to accomplish this. The Daughter learns of this and immediately begins researching human children (despite Anakin being well past 20 by this point) and making an effort to support him which she drags a reluctant The Son into.

4. WHEN DEOS HE START TALKING TO THE FORCE???

[theflikchic]

English Major Rereads Harry Potter to See If It's "Actually Bad and I Just Have Nostalgia" As The Internet Says Pt 1: Chamber and Filch You Good?

What is going on with the frog brains.

Okay before I explode into thoughts: we GOTTA talk about the humour (I promise it's related). Because it is genuinely well-played. Some of the chapter endings are a little choppy and standard-kids book-like. But when Ron says that a teacher "would have to be really thick" and then the next chapter starts with Lockhart? Freaking hilarious. (Ron's wit is so much more hardcore than I remember. Guy takes NO prisoners and is the ACTUAL smart one, hot take).

But much of the humour is derived from nonsense. Not a bad thing, just how it is. Basically, the narrator will describe the world during jumps in time: what the characters have been up to and the locations the characters are in as well, as what non-main characters have been doing in order to give Hogwarts a more homey feel. Not always necessary but it works. And sometimes it comes back for the plot. Ex. Fred and George blowing up the salamander introduces the firecracker for Harry to use in Potions.

BUT this type of description hits- my goodness- it hits DIFFERENT as an adult because the humour which is literally just "weird description of something, move on" is just whack nonsense and leaves me with so many freaking questions. Like, "ha ha the ghosts are playing Head Hockey". As a kid, you're like "haha the ghosts are playing Head Hocket" and now I'm like "THE GHOSTS ARE PLAYING HEAD HOCKEY?? ELABORATE???" It's funny, it works, but DAMN is it weird.

And right now, I'm hung up on: Why tf is Filch cleaning up frog brains in the dungeon with the fking FLU?

Like, as a child, I just accepted this moment. That Filch is both sick and upset because a bunch of third years splattered frog brains on the dungeon ceiling and that is what is important to the plot. It's just Hogwarts being funny and quirky! The end! But NOW I'm like- like- I have SO SO many questions.

1) What the actual hell were those third years DOING? I'm assuming making potions since it was in the dungeon. So-

2) Why tf is SNAPE not doing anything about it? Man LIVES down there and doesn't he teach Potions to, like, literally EVERYONE? The book describes how there's a bunch of staff and students with colds (to set up how Ginny is looking "peaky" from being possessed, nice little foreshadowing), is he sick too?! But wouldn't he have Pepperup Potion? Why is SNAPE not fixing this?!

3) Was it a prank? Were these dumb kids just "guys being dudes" or something and blew up a bunch of frogs? Again, if so, how tf is Snape not on their cases? They're IN THE DUNGEONS.

4) Okay, new angle. Maybe they AREN'T in class and just studying downstairs. Explains how Nick and Filch knew they were third-years. I still need to know: Where is Snape.

5) So Snape is unavailable (current situation) or just not wanting to clean up (doesn't seem much like him, usually he'd make the students do it or just magic it away) and there's only Filch- who has the fucking FLU?! Where is HIS Pepperup Potion?! What happens if the man HURLS? You gonna make him clean that up too?!

This leads me to the next big question. Aside from how Filch's office apparently smells like fried fucking fish (i'm SORRY?! HOW WHY), I'm really starting to wonder...wtf is going on with Filch at ALL?

Narratively for the second book, he's important. He introduces the concept of squibs (a very complex and...strange thing that I shan't get into here), introduces Harry's really powerful ability to have empathy, adds another antagonistic adult party to the staff, and works as a background character to flesh out the environment. But STILL.

Why is this guy with no magic cleaning up magic nonsense?! Why was he hired at all?? What dirt does Dumbledore have on him? Is it just cuz Dumbledore feels bad for him? Oh, you feel bad, Dumbledore? Where's the man's Pepperup Potion?!

I don't think Filch's past being neglected is really a flaw. I think it works well with his character being this gross, mysterious, pathetic (in both sense of the word) man who is every kid's worst fear without the moral complexity (like Snape). As of right now in Chamber, he's an idea (Joker voice) while still being a character. I don't think that's bad, it is a very standard idea for kids books, especially British ones like Roald Dahl. Filch is effective as an idea.

I just didn't realize I'd be thinking so seriously of him as an adult. And that Harry Potter is...like...kind of absurdist fantasy?! Huh?!

[asteria-argo]

Answer the questions and tag five fanfiction authors you know!

tagged by the wonderful wonderful @altschmerzes

1. How many fandoms have you written in?

Written in about 15 but I've only published in two. According to ao3 it's five but that's because of the umbrella fandom of DC comics.

2. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Since I was around 6 and I'm now 20 so about,,, 14 years

3. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

I read way more than I write, I read a bare minimum of 3 fics a day and I go through really long periods of not writing anything so I for sure read more than I write

4. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

since I started publishing my fics I've gotten a lot better at actually finishing them, but my grammar and tense has also improved A Lot just from practicing even if it's still not the best out there.

5. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

I mean it's not that weird but I get very hyperfixated on small details so I did a lot of researching into the different degrees offered at Yale and Harvard in order to decide what degrees I think would be offered at a fictional Ivy League university when I was writing character bios a little while ago.

Also for To All The Better Places I spent a truly inane amount of time researching grassroots U12 girls football teams for a side character so I could name one in the right area that would suit her needs the best.

6. What's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

long ones for sure. I love getting long comments especially on my longer fics where people like,, point out things they liked or quote my work as me. Also love those like,, live slug reaction comments you get sometimes where people go paragraph by paragraph telling you their thoughts as they have them in one long comment,

7. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I have a lot of ambiguous gender feelings a lot of the time, and I also grew up watching a lot of "boy" oriented media that would only have like,, one or two girl characters at best so from a young age I was fascinated with reading like,, canon divergent "always-a-girl" trope fics and I have written a couple of them myself which I think is a bit of an unpopular trope in wider fandom.

8. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

angst and whump because I really struggle describing physical sensation and angst usually just ends up with me making myself sad and/or sick in the process of writing it if I don't have a happy ending planned and ready to go

9. What is the easiest type?

found family stories are my bread and butter, slice of life, friends just being friends, those kinds of stories

10. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I usually write at home at my desk, since I study online I've got a pretty perfect set up to spend long hours there. If I'm not at home I'm at the library. I use Notion, because it's free, I have personal beef with Word and google docs sucks. It's not technically a writing platform in the sense I use it in but it works fine as one, it also makes it super easy to organise my files and extra notes of fics, on top of my editing and the drafts.

11. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

I actually recently overcame my big too nervous to write fic. I am,, an asexual virgin but I also really enjoy reading smut. I've wanted to write some for ages, but on account of not knowing how sex works because I've never had it and also my inability to describe physical sensations I've been weary to give it a go in case it's terrible but I finally wrote some not long ago and published it over on ao3

12. What made you choose your username?

Well Asteria is just my name, and then Argo is a combined DC/Greek Mythology references. Argo comes from the Argonauts of The Golden Fleece myth, but it's also the name of the original supergirls home.

I do not know whose already been tagged or whose already done it so I'm just going to go for it and hope for the best @jamtartandsunshine @kvetchinglyneurotic @jamiesfootball @antitheticaally @its-not-easy-being-green-things

[sofarsofastmp3]

15 people, 15 questions!

thanks for the tag @couthbbg i can’t think of the last time i did one of these it was super fun :)

1. are you named after anyone?

no! i’m actually the only one of my siblings who doesn’t have a family connected first/middle name. and i do NOT have a complex about that

2. when was the last time you cried?

i get misty eyed once every 5-7 business hours as is my nature as a pisces, but i last properly cried on new year’s eve. it’s tradition!

3. do you have kids?

nope!

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i played soccer for like three years as a kid and hated! it! like “cried putting my cleats on” hated soccer. but i played softball up until my freshman year of high school. i’ve been wanting to get back into hitting recently? i found a batting cage near me i just gotta go. i dabble in tennis casually but i’m not good at ALL i have a fifteen dollar racket and a dream

5. do you use sarcasm?

more than i’d like to. had a very sarcastic upbringing but it doesn’t sound good on me (inherently earnest and lame)

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair i think? especially “post” covid, it’s got to either be hair or eyes. even when someone isn’t wearing a mask it’s what i see first

7. what’s your eye color

brown, babeyy

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i like both! across all art, the two genres i consume most are weird/gory and Romantic Comedy. to have a real answer, i’ll say happy endings only because scary movies are my least favorite type of scary media. i am VERY easily startled so i’ve always hated jump scares and was actually really horror averse until college because of it

9. any talents?

i think i USED to be a solid writer, but in the last three years i’ve gotten really out of practice. i miss it. i’m really good and fast at shuffling cards! which is a fun random one. i’m also really good at guess that song? if you’re in a do or die “guess this song in ten seconds” situation i am your girl

10. where were you born?

south florida!

11. what are your hobbies?

i read a lot. i go through phases where i play a lot of solitaire. like with a physical deck of cards. lovee a puzzle! i want to try needlepoint!

12. do you have any pets?

“my dog” is technically my sisters dog but we’ve lived together for like 6 of his 9 years on this earth and i’ve cleaned poop crusties off him when he was sick. so i feel like he’s mine too. his name is kona, which people always mishear as coda (of brother bear fame) which i actually think is a better name

13. how tall are you?

much like your average nhler, i claim to be slightly taller than i am. i’m 5’6 but usually try to say i’m close to 5’7 because i’m one of the shortest people in my family. my twelve year old cousin just passed me. it’s so rough out here.

14. favorite subject in school?

english and latin! i’ve actually been wanting to get back into latin as a hobby which is maybe the most insufferable thing i could add to my list of already insufferable traits. but i miss it

15. dream job?

i want my own bookstore so bad it makes me look stupid. a store opened up like a half hour from me that’s kind of my ideal. new/used books/music AND they’ve got a cafe! i haven’t been yet but really want to go. i’m on a hard book buying ban until june with 3 pre-determined exceptions, one of those being my birthday in march (the other two being the pub dates for my most anticipated releases), so i think i may check it out as a treat to myself then!!

i think the bulk of people have done this, but if you haven’t i would love to hear what you have to say!!! :)

[sluttypatrickstar]

i have been volunteering in a secondhand bookshop for almost a year, and in this time, i have not been collecting any data at all but i do have some Vaguely Recollected Observations. i present to you all: books i am sick of seeing (and other stories)

any crime or thriller novel. any and all of them. i loathe crime and thriller and for no actual reason other than that we have so, so many crime/thriller books. there are always too many. we can build a tower out of all the books we have. we can make entire one-author displays out of certain crime authors.

particular crime books of note: the thursday murder club by richard osman, we always have that; the millennium trilogy by stieg larsson, we have like 5+ copies of the whole trilogy

there are always at least 4 eleanor oliphants in the bookshop at any given time

we get a lot of jeremy clarkson books. these seem to stay in the back forever, because nobody ever seems to shelve them, and i think this is very funny and based

i only ever see 2 different mark haddon books, but based on the frequency with which we get those two alone, i would like him to never write another book again thanks

no reader is reading the reader (it gets donated a lot)

NOBODY DONATES SCI FI

on the rare occasion that somebody does donate sci-fi, they always donate an absolutely massive collection. we still haven't shifted our massive collection of classic star trek novels. if these weren't on the shelf i think it would be empty

nobody buys romance, but everybody donates it

What Are These Vague Historical Looking Books About Girls And What Genre Are They? im obsessed with how little i know about the shipyard girls and yet they are always with us

sometimes you think a book is too weird to be sold. this is never true

when no-one else is looking, i toss scott adams books into the recycling. im not supposed to do this, our personal feelings about some books/authors aren't supposed to get in the way of things and usually books by People I Hate don't get sold anyway, but im not giving the dilbert guy a chance

fantasy is close to sci-fi in being a genre we Struggle to get donations for, but we have so much george rr martin that it keeps the shelves pretty full. thanks george!

some volunteers do not know the difference between young adult and children's

i cannot distinguish sometimes between general fantasy and young adult fantasy. i am always DMing people being like, is this YA?? do you know?? ?help

we never get enough chuck palahniuk

one time we got like 16 signed val mcdermid books and all of them were dedicated to mary and i don't know if mary died or if she had a breakup with val mcdermid's books

you can tell a lot about a person from the books being donated. sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad (especially when there's a lot of self-help books on a specific subject, i hope they got the help they needed), but a lot of the time it's fascinating

as per the above, you can never tell based on appearance what kind of books somebody is about to donate to you. it is always a surprise

i hate it when we have a whole series and somebody buys book 1 because then we're stuck with like. books 2-5 forevermore :(

that one time someone donated their entire massive full metal alchemist manga collection except it was missing volume 3

you can tell what books were either award-winning or popular based on what books you see the most of

WE'VE ONLY EVER HAD ONE COPY OF SPARE BY PRINCE HARRY CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE IT???

[shopwitchvamp]

Would you ever do cons again or is that something that you have grown past the need of?

I really don't want to do them anymore. Long answer incoming as usual~ Like, maybe I'll attend them as a regualr attendee for fun again someday, but even before the pandemic I would get sick ALL THE TIME from going to cons. So for one thing I'm extra afraid about that. They're also not particularly profitable unless it's a local con and you don't need to travel/stay at a hotel. Or you're like.. Cards Against Humanity's table that can make 5 figures in a day. (lol ok so i googled what i was remembering, their table selling out in 50mins, and nevermind i was so wrong. if you're them you can make -$35k in 51mins at a con. negative 5 figures in an hour...)

At my peak (and only because I'd started incorporating more clothing) I made $7k in a weekend, which sounds amazing, but like half or more would disappear into flights, the hotel, the table/badges, food, and the cost of what I was selling. At that point I was paying for my own room just so I could sleep at all at night.. Way back in the day we'd do the whole 6 people in 1 room thing to save money, and then I'd spend a whole weekend unable to sleep. And then I'd get sick ;__; rinse and repeat like 8 times a year. Misery. Also those $7k cons happened like 3-4 times in my con career. 2010-2015 before clothing I think it was more like $2-3k was an outstanding weekend. More than once I made negative money at a con (not as negative as Cards Against Humanity thank god). I'm looking at you Anime Atlanta! Everyone told me and my friend that con was SO GOOD so we drove for 2 or 3 days to get there. We slept on a concrete floor at a friend's SCAD dorm room. OMG AND I JUST REMEMBERED when that happened I had just had surgery too!! All of that and I made way less than what my expenses were because the con was just dead that year (a different con had moved it's dates and was the same weekend I think? competition made both cons worse that year from what I remember). One of many sad con tales. At this point I'm too old for it, or just too unwilling to put up with the suffering. I start thinking about how many cons wouldn't let us artists bring food in, the ridiculously long 12hr+ days with no break, how many times I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom if someone wasn't with me, weird BS like AFest trying to blacklist anyone that didn't stay for Monday when it wasn't held on labor day weekend anymore and the con's Monday wasn't a holiday, cons that put artists in bizarre and dangerous conditions (a parking garage?? or MechaCon that year there were no lights????), how often guests or staff were incredibly rude.. and honestly I just get really angry about the way cons are for artists. I wish I'd tried to start a union or something. Instead I just walked away. And then as for growing past the need for it, yeah definitely. But it's more like, I was able to grow because I let go of them. I actually knew I needed to stop doing cons like 2ish years before I did. I knew the churn was keeping me from reaching the next level, I was always recovering from a con or preparing for a con or dying at a con. But it was so hard to jump out from that cycle because I always needed the money from the next con. I'm really not even sure how I escaped, but I'm very glad I did. Definitely won't go back to that life. (There were, of course, some good times too. Like I got to meet James Marsters and Cary Elwes. Sometimes I was living the dream!) ᴾˢ ᴱᴰᴵᵀ ᴬˢᵏ ᵐᵉ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᴶᵘᵍᵍᵃˡᵒ ᶜʰᵘʳᶜʰ ᶜᵒⁿ

[jokerlennon]

tagged by @aurelien1944 to talk about five things i like :-)

1 - well the first one has to be chess the musical my best friend.. is it in any real sense "good"? difficult question. is it incredibly fun? yes forever. i personally like it when it's sad and fucked up and florence's father died twenty-five years ago and everybody loses <3 but honestly all versions (and oh boy are there so many versions) have at least some positives to it and a lot of negatives too Perfect Chess does not exist and i don't think it ever will. thank god. i saw it a few days ago they made several weird as shit choices that i didn't like i had the time of my life 💜

2 - hm i have a great fondness for horror i love being scared. that's a lie i hate being scared in general but i love it when a scary movie scares me. you get it. also disgusting bloody gorey body horror practical effects they're so so so cool. im much more fascinated than scared or disgusted usually... sick is the perfect word because wow it IS disturbing usually but also i love sounding like a teenaged boy from the nineties or something. i love a good podcast too archive 81 my best friend archive 81 for example.. i don't read enough horror novels only like 19th century gothic lit i should get into something more modern actually that could be fun...

3 - twin peaks :-) i love it when things are a little strange and unexplained and incredibly earnest about it all. dale cooper is there. i have a lot of feelings about twin peaks but i don't think i can go into it all right now... i have cried to the soundtrack several times let's leave it at that. twin peaks ❤️

4 - i love linguistics most things about language fascinate me the way they change over time the way their rules work the way they interact with each other etcetera... also there's logic to it i love logic. it's like science but with less numbers. waugh i just love languages.... sad thing is you have to memorise words to learn languages i have a knack for grammar rules but i hate learning words especially if they have genders </3 oh well.

5 - discworld i love discworld i started reading them in chronological order AKA from left to right on our entire bookshelf of discworld books a few years ago which from what i've heard from everyone ever isn't ideal but it was FINE i think. (after the tiffany aching books that is i started with those) i only have like two or three books left idk what i'll do with myself if i don't always have one of them lying around somewhere.. they're so good i love them a lot i really enjoy this type of fantasy that takes well-established fairytale and fantasy tropes and subverts them.. like howl's moving castle the only book i read as a five/six yr old that i still like that's a bit off topic though. terry pratchett is a true master of his craft the specific way he writes is delightful to me the books are all so funny the way things that appear to be throwaway gags often come back to be narratively significant is also just incredible. waugh they're good books

tagging @locallibrarylover @porciaenjoyer @nickclose @sludgecorpse or whoever wants mutuals tell me about things u like pleasee

[queer-and-nerdy]

as a blue ridge rock festival 2023 survivor i’m imagining l&co going to a rock/metal festival and it’s CARNAGE right (this is based on my experience with festivals in the u.s. i’ve never been to any in europe LMAO) also obligatory @wellgoslowly tag <3

the three of them go for all 4 days with on-site camping but they decide to share a single tent because “it’ll be cheaper and we already live together so how bad can it be?” BAD VERY BAD. fortunately, the weather was good but lucy forgot to take into account how much she and george snack when they get stressed. her and george take turns driving to and from the festival (lockwood is a registered passenger princess i love him but also don't trust him behind the wheel), but lucy is the one to park in the campground as george made several domestic and international terror threats if he had to pull into "that shitshow of a lot, are you mad?? who's idea was this, anyways? not mine, that's for sure. park the damn car without killing us, please and thank you." their three sleeping bags barely fit the floor of the tent, so the first night they spend practically curled up together. george, unable to handle the sheer amount of LocklyleTM, decides to sleep in the car for the rest of the weekend. lucy and lockwood try to sleep in an inconspicuous/non-awkward way, but somehow find themselves tangled up in each other's arms. neither of them comment on this, but they also don't separate right away (they make me sick). they all wear matching noise-muffling headphones that lucy made for them (lucy's hearing is already somewhat impaired and she takes care of her body; george bitches about his hearing being fine despite staying close enough to be able to touch the stage for every set he attends and complaining about a "weird ringing noise" constantly; lockwood never takes his off, even sleeping with them on - lucy drew little hearts on his). the three of them also spent the week leading up to the festivals making kandi bracelets to hand out, which earns them some friends they keep for years.

lockwood (the masochist that he is) has the time of his life all weekend. he’s thriving on the loud music and shitty overpriced food. he desperately wants to mosh but doesn’t realize that you don’t really have to ask to join, and his first few attempts just result in him either acting as a wall or getting pushed out of the way entirely. once he finally pushes his way into a decent-sized pit, he instantly gets sucker punched and george has to take him to the first aid tent (they give him a small bottle of water and tell him to “take it easy”). he doesn't sing along for any sets he attends, instead enjoying hearing the combination of the band and the audience. he stays on the festival grounds from first set to last, and when he returns to the campsite he spends several more hours chatting with their neighbors. he loves discovering new bands and genres despite how picky he is and gets along great with the people he stands around (except the person that kept talking shit about metallica). music is a great escape for him and helps him pass the time in his everyday life. it acts as a grounding force in his life, and something about the heavy bass provided by the live music gives him a sense of reality. despite his increasing lack of sleep each night he somehow is more energized each day. this baffles lucy and george, who are running on the fumes of fumes. hypothetically his positive attitude would make him an ideal tentmate, except for the unfortunate fact that not only are the showers largely inaccessible but he gets it into his head that “there aren’t showers in the wild; therefore, i don’t need to take any.” lucy and george set him straight the second night with some not so thinly veiled threats.

lucy is the one to suggest the festival as a “much needed vacation.” she is also the first to regret actually following through on it. she spends the hottest parts of the day in the shade of their campsite, usually only showing up for the headliners at the end of the night as well as some smaller bands she researched ahead of time. although george teases her for "hiding," she ends up being the only one to make it out without any medical issues or injuries. she makes sure to pack the right amount of food for the three of them as well as budgeting for festival food but she would rather die than pay $13 for a slice of pizza. she designates herself as the merch martyr, standing in line for two hours to get the three of them anything and everything they could afford (one shirt each and a magnet for their kitchen). however much she complains, though, she fully enjoys herself the whole time. she allows herself the freedom to relax in what would otherwise be a stressful environment for her, and she makes a few good friends. like lockwood, music is an escape for her, but instead of giving her a sense of reality, she finds it gives her an outlet to be someone she usually isn't. in a large crowd, with no one's eyes on her and any internal thoughts muffled by the loud music, she can let go and lose herself to the experience. she doesn't mosh but instead stands to the side and observes the moshers and crowd surfers. she becomes so wrapped up in the performances that, despite knowing all of the songs, often doesn't sing along.

george, like myself, has a myriad of health conditions, so the fact that he survived the entire weekend is surprising enough. lucy enlists lockwood's help to hold a gun to george's head to force him to take his binder off periodically. he hasn't had a drop of water in months and certainly isn't planning on starting now, which frustrates lucy to no end. the only compromise he makes is purchasing a case of gatorade, which he chugs half of and promptly vomits up all within the first day. he isn't a huge fan of moshing but he gets dragged into a few energetic ones and finds himself having fun. although he, like lucy, researched and planned ahead on who he wanted to see, he prefers to spend most of the day wandering around the grounds and sitting in on groups he didn't know if he has the time. for the groups he plans for, however, he's a bit of a scary fan. he knows all the lyrics, the band members' names, details of their careers, etc. he knows the setlist ahead of time even though he could sing each all of their songs perfectly from memory and excitedly tells the people around him what song was coming next. he starts arguments with a few people on the subgenres of metal, but also manages to get a cute guy's contact info after crossing each other's paths at a few different sets. to him, music is the only way he feels understood. he often doesn't know how to verbally explain his feelings, and there's something about music that he finds accesses deep within him. he passes out three times during the first day (lucy was there for the third one and exploded when he told her about the other two) but manages to only pass out one more time over the rest of the weekend.

skull is forced to stay home by himself despite insisting on being taken along [he will remember this]. the magnet lucy gets, however, satisfies him.

[tomiokathedepresso]

The Inbetween

kny oc fanfic.

Agatsuma Zenitsu/Etsu Hino (OC)

Prologue

Mt. Tsukuba

My father was sentenced to death penalty for unintentionally murdering one of his clients.

I knew exactly why he did it. He scammed his clients with this magical medicine that cures any illnesses, so that he can feed off of his alcohol addiction. Those small red medicines? It’s a mixture of red beans, mint herb, and this wild leaf that was growing from the back of our home. When I was 3 years old, I got to help him mix and pack those little medicines. I was very happy that not only do I get to help my father, but I also get to help my neighborhood. My friends won’t die from sickness, and we’ll be able to play everyday.

One of my friends died the next month. But not because of his sickness. It turns out that the wild leaves that were growing from the back of our house were killing him slowly. From what I remembered, he and his family were eating peacefully, then he stopped breathing, dropping face-first to his plate. His body had to be cremated, because it’s decaying fast. I remember the chaos that took place from the front of our house. My neighborhood was angry towards my parents, but never towards me. I was only 3 years old, someone my age could never do anything wrong. There were a lot of armed people who came to get my father. The inside of our old home was ransacked, but not the soup my mother made for the family. I still remember eating the food that my mother cooked from the stairs of our house, watching the chaos unfold. I wasn’t emotional, not sad. Even though I remember the details, I still don’t understand the concept of emotion at the time. All I know is that anger is a bad feeling, while happiness is a good feeling. When they’re taking my father, I felt nothing. But my mother was angry. It’s weird seeing her like this, because my father is usually the one who’s angry with my mother, not the other way around. While all of those things are happening, all that matters to me at that time is the food that my mother prepared. After that day, we received the news that my father was beheaded. My mother started packing our things, and moved to a new place, because we’re not welcomed there any longer.

My father, he’s not from here. My mother said he came from the west, which explains my dark cold blue eyes and my untameable hair, the very feature I got from my father. She explained to me that my father is not a good person, and that I shouldn’t miss him. She said that to me when I asked her when will my father come back. She told me that I shouldn’t do what he did, and never marry somebody like him. I never understood what she told me as I was upset braiding my hair. But I did notice her getting visibly frustrated and for once, it did worry me. Was it because I mentioned him? Was it because I asked when he would come back? Was I not supposed to?

You see, I didn’t understand the concept of death. Even after 4 years of my father’s death, or my friend’s death, I never understood it. It’s very confusing. I thought they were just leaving, and they would come back when everyone is not angry anymore. My mother explained it to me plenty of times. One of the memorable times she explained it to me is when my grandfather died. I was 7 years old at the time. Mother and I lived near his home. My grandfather lived at the bottom of the mountain, while we lived in the new neighborhood. My grandfather was only 54 that time, he can still hunt in the forest or in the mountains. He’s very strong for his age, he often visits my mother and I. After his trips, he visits us and brings us boar meat, one of my favorite meats to eat. He cuts it up for us with his big strong hands, and helps my mother to cook. While cutting the boar, he tells these stories of demons who lurk in the darkness of the forest and stories of people who hunt them, and that apparently, his great-great-grandfather also hunted demons. I didn’t understand what a demon is, but as to what he’s telling me, demons are bad. They go to people’s homes, and do bad things to them. 

I wanted to be like my grandfather. I wanted to be strong so I could help protect my home and my mother from demons, or people who wanted to harm us.

The second week of spring, he didn’t bring us something to cook for 3 days. It made my mother worry for him, telling me that he might be sick. I was still naive, not realizing what’s about to unfold, so I decided to cook on my own for my grandfather to eat, while my own Mother prepared our things before we visited him. Mother and I went to his home in the mountain surrounded by trees, but all we found was grandfather's headless corpse. His liquid stinks, and there’s some splatter of dried reddish-brown liquid on the walls. His corpse is being eaten by some maggots already, and his stomach was open. It was my first time seeing a corpse. I was the one who first saw his body too. My mother took me away immediately and explained to me that my grandfather died, and I needed to stay at home. My mom brought me home and immediately asked for help, while I was left even more confused. No. I felt unsafe. I felt like running. 

Ever since that interaction, I started to develop sleeping problems. When I eat, I vividly remember his corpse and it makes me sick. It took a while for me to get over it, but it was certainly hard to forget. I was scared for the first time in my life.

After Grandfather died, my mother decided to live in his home. Mother never buys from the market again, as grandfather has his own garden of vegetables. Instead of meat, the vegetables from the garden are what we eat. If there’s no vegetables, my mother goes to the forest outside our home and forages. If we’re lucky enough, we get a bunny or a chicken, since that’s the only type of animal my mother can cut. I’ve always appreciated and astounded with my mother’s emotional strength. I know she’s emotionally tired, but she always smiles when I talk to her. The time when I can’t get any sleep, she was there consoling me despite lacking sleep herself. 

I wish to be like her when I grow up. I want to make her proud and put us out of shame from what my father did. Before we sleep, I always tell her that I’m gonna be an actual nurse someday, and I will take care of her when she gets old. After that, she’d always smile and tell me to go to sleep, tucking me in. Our life became like that for 8 months. I always wake up the next day, with the view of the sun rising at the side of the mountain where we reside.

It was summer when I woke up. It wasn’t hot that night, there were too many trees near our home. But for some reason, I was wet. I was confused, because Mother would have woken me up to help her move all of the futons we have on the floor to somewhere dry if it’s raining. It was too dark, I was expecting it to be morning already but it’s dark. Why is it dark? And why is there a silhouette in the door? I remember what this creature looked like. It’s clawed, almost looking like a human. I got a better look at his features when the moonlight shone. His skin color is the same as my grandfather’s corpse. Plum. Its mouth is red– no. Its mouth is dripping with this red liquid. The smell, it stinks. I looked at my hands, and it looks like I also got covered with this liquid, that’s why I was wet. It smelled horrible. “Mother?” I remember calling out, looking for my mother as I panic in the corner of our home.

I looked to my right, and I saw a headless corpse. It looked like it was trying to protect me, because its arms were directed towards me. I was frozen when I recognized the kimono the corpse was wearing, despite it being drenched in– what I assume, her own blood. I looked at the creature, and saw what it was holding. I cannot scream. I was scared and nothing came out of my mouth because of how terrified I am. The monster in my door took a step, dropping my mother’s head. It was smiling.

“A cute little brat, I guess I’m lucky today!” It spoke, before letting out a demented laugh. In one swift move, It grabbed my neck at the corner of our house. I’m hurting. I can’t breathe. I tried kicking him off but I’m too weak. But not weak enough to hurt it by clawing. I clawed it in the face, despite not breathing and not having the stamina. “Ah child, don’t fight me! I’m here to help you not suffer.” My eyes widened as the damage I inflicted on it healed. It healed like nothing ever happened. Not a scar on sight.

I can see white particles flying around as my vision darkens. This… creature. It was smiling. But I’m sad. This thing killed my mother. I am beyond furious, but I’m too weak and afraid. I don’t have any experience with fighting. It is gonna kill me too. I started banging the wall on my back, hoping someone hears us. 

Who am I kidding, no one’s gonna hear us. We live in the mountains, you stupid fucking kid. The town is at the bottom of the mountain, you and your headless mother’s neighbor is far away from your own fucking home. My vision is slowly going dark. I looked at the door, and I could see that it’s almost dawn. 

If I died that night, that would’ve been my last time seeing the sun. It would’ve been better if that happened. That way, I would be with my own mother, in the heavens.

Then I noticed a figure running to my home. Before I knew it, the creature, who’s hand was in my neck, was now headless, and I was dropped into the pool of my Mother’s blood, which is right below me.

Behind this creature’s corpse stood a man with silver hair– No, it’s not silver, probably white. The only reason it was silver is because of the sun rising up, hitting this man’s feature. He’s almost the same height as my grandfather, and his eyes looked crazy. He has this green sword drenched in blood that is slowly turning to ash, and his body is full of scars. He looked at me, and my mother’s headless corpse, and bowed his head. 

“My apologies, I arrived late to rescue you and your mother.” He told me as he put down his sword and kneeled in front of me. “I’m not going to hurt you. Are you wounded?” I was still in the corner of my home, wincing from what the creature did to me as I instinctively touched my neck. My mouth was dry, and trembling. My eyes began to water. “N-no.” was all I could reply to the man in front of me. He sighed, and swore under his breath. He looked at me again and softly grabbed my arm to check if there’s any wound. All he can see is the hand mark on my neck that the creature left.

“Do you have a name?” He was looking for something in his pocket when he spoke.

“Etsu Hino.” Mother said that my father didn’t bother naming me, so she named me instead. I didn’t get my father’s last name, that’s one of the reasons why father is angry at mother. Now that mother’s gone, her last name will be one of the things that will remind me of her. I looked at the man in front of me as he stood up.

“Etsu, come help me put a proper burial for your mother.”

»»----------►

An hour later, the sun is scorching hot, even though the sun is still not that high up. Sanemi Shinazugawa, the name of the man who saved me from that creature, turns out to be a demon slayer, the people my grandfather told me about. The creature he killed is a demon. They turn to ashes and disappear once they’re hit by the sun. It was burning earlier while we were burying my mother’s corpse, and the sun is already up. This organization Sanemi is a part of is a secret organization made to kill demons. That’s why people don't believe in demons, it was so secret. No one knew but the people who were part of it, and perhaps the demons themselves.

The demons, who've been plaguing Japan for hundreds of years now, hunt during the night because the sun will kill them during the day. It’s no wonder that people who isolate more are getting killed. People like me and my mother.

During my mother’s burial, I was seething in anger. It’s the first time I’ve felt anger, at the age of 8. I want to kill demons, I want to get stronger to protect other people, so that they won’t experience what I had experienced. But I’m too young, I can’t get that strong immediately. Sanemi finished praying for the dead, but I’m just there, standing. Angry, sad, hungry– you name it. I can tell he’s having a hard time reading me, and hard time comforting a child. “Do you have a relative?”

“They’re dead.” I replied nonchalantly.

“Not even grandparents?” 

“Dead.”

He stood next to me, and he sighed. What is he gonna do next? Leave me here to rot just like my grandfather? That’s not fair, none of this is fair. “Etsu, I’ll find you somebody who will take you as their own daughter, how about that?”

“No.” “No?”

“No, I want to train.” That must have snapped something in him, that it immediately made him drop the shovel he was using earlier to make a hole. His dirty, soiled hand made its contact on my face. My cheek was numb at first, but I suddenly felt it burn my skin, living a large, red hand print on it. Because of the sudden impact, I was laying on the dirt, as if soiling my favorite, blood-drenched kimono wasn’t enough. I looked up, seeing the very same man who saved me from my imminent death, has hurt me. To no avail, I was too numb to care. I can’t feel angry at this man, I want someone to pay for my mother’s death. If I had the strength like he has, I would’ve easily killed that monster. If given a chance, it will satisfy my– my–

What was the word? I think my grandfather told me what that word was? He uses that word when he describes demons… I think? I stood up, about to speak again, when this man cut me off.

“What do you know about fighting? You suddenly became insistent on becoming what I am, like you know how to fight– all of a sudden ?” He knelt down in front of me, with his crazed eyes. He looked like he was about to lose himself any second. And he did, in a form of punching the ground, fighting the urge to, what I assume, would be cursing from the pain after doing so. From the sound of punching the ground, it looked like it hurt. I got jolted out from my observations as he gripped my shoulder tightly, shaking me from where I fell down. “Your mother would’ve survived if I arrived here earlier. Your limbs are small, you can’t run that fast, Etsu. You cannot even defend yourself, what makes you think you’re any better? What much of an idiotic child can do on the battlefield? Moron .” And with that, his palm hit my cheek again. This time, I didn’t fall from where I’m sitting, as one of his hands is still supporting my weight. Now, it feels like my cheek burns for the second time. He thinks he’s the only one frustrated in this situation, that someone like me wants to become a slayer. Men like him irritate me. He’s one of those people my mother warned me about. Stubborn, aggressive, hot-blooded. Safe to say he’s also an impulse-driven individual, considering how he just showed aggression without any second thoughts whatsoever. Inconsiderate smooth-brained brat. 

My anger is still fresh, like the sun I’m experiencing in this morning light. He sighed, probably regretting shaking and hitting a child two times. He was about to let me go, but I’m not about to let him do that. I’m lucky, as my nails have been unkempt for the past month. As soon as I felt his touch was about to leave, my nails dug into his arm. His eyes immediately shot back to me, as he felt my weight, and my nails piercing him. “You’re going to abandon me too? My family is gone, and you’re thinking of giving me away, leaving me to somebody while I cry for justice?”

“Don’t you dare tell me that, you brat!” He exclaimed, trying to let me go. “I’ve been through so much training, and I still think of what might’ve been for me and my family. You don’t know who I am, so don’t you dare run your mouth.” He was able to push me away again, hissing in the process as the wind grazed the wound I inflicted. He picked up his sword instead, unsheathing it. All I can do is watch as he checks if his sword got some dirt in it, then sheathed it again as he sighed. Then he looked at me, and it almost looked like he was sorry for saying what he just said to me. 

“Live, like how your own mother would’ve wanted, Etsu. You will not want this. You’re merely a child.” He held out his hand to me, as I looked up to his face when he got closer. “I’ll find somebody to take care of you.”

I didn’t budge from where I sat. My mother would want me to fight for what’s right. Who the hell is he to dictate what I would want? Who is he to dictate what my own mother would’ve wanted for me? He’s not just an impulse-driven man, he’s also stupid, and a hypocrite. Even though he saved my life, I felt nothing but anger towards him. He started to get impatient, as I only stared at him. “I don’t have all day, Etsu–” “It’s Hino.” I replied, nonchalantly.

“What?”

“You heard me, it’s Hino. That’s what you will call me, Shinazugawa.” I stood up, facing him despite the difference of our height. His eyebrows furrowed when I talked. ‘He’s listening? Good.’ I thought.

“You will hear me out, and I will not repeat myself.” I continued, as I stepped forward, while he stepped backward. “The things you just said apply to you too, you hypocrite. You don’t know me. What do you , of all people, would know about my mother? My only family, might I add?” My index finger landed on his chest, which made his balance go off. He managed to catch himself with his left foot as I spoke again. “You’re not even inside my head. If you were, you will want to leave it. Because there are a lot of things I want to do to that demon you killed that I wasn’t able to do. If you are what you say you are, you will be glad to have somebody to recruit.” I found my finger in his chest, the intensity of how I land it is becoming much stronger. It only made Sanemi snicker, but I’m still not finished talking.

“You call me a child, yet you forget you’re one as well, hypocrite. All I want is justice, and you deprive me of it. You’re no different to a demon who takes and takes from a happy family.” And with that, I ended what I wanted to say as Sanemi found himself cornered at the wooden wall of my home. Assuming I was done yapping, Sanemi was about to push me again, but he was shocked with what happened next.

A vengeful 8-years-old girl, who’s height is at 3 '8 (Sanemi assumed), and her weight is below average, was able to punch through her own home’s wall, with her strength alone like it was nothing.

Sanemi was astounded. Or that’s what it looks like, at least. He looked back to the very hole I created, while his back was still leaning on that very wall. I ignored the searing pain in my own knuckles as I withdrew my hand. It would’ve been his own stomach I punched. He should be glad that wasn’t gonna be the case, because it would’ve left him feeling gutted for the entire day. Attempting to stop crying, I breathed. I looked in the skies, trying to make my tears not fall on my cheeks. Then I spoke again.

“I’d rather rot here, if you’re not letting me serve the corps. What a selfish decision, to survive by myself, knowing someone out there could be experiencing the same thing.” I spat out, like my tongue was laced with snake’s poison. “And I thought you’re a hero–”

“Enough.” Sanemi swatted away the hand that punched the hole behind him. I think it’s becoming clear that I’m not going anywhere, not when I still needed to avenge my mother. His eyes falter for a moment as he kneels, like a brother making sure his little sibling is feeling well. It’s not that I doubted he has one, but that look is very familiar. It’s the same look my own mother gives me when I dropped my bowl of hot udon to myself. When it spilled on me, all I did was laugh. I remember my own mother being very concerned, but I didn’t know why. The udon is at its boiling point, still hot, but it wasn’t hot for me. Like it was… just lukewarm. That feeling came back, but this time, it was my face that’s lukewarm. My body felt like lead, and my heart is just as heavy as what I'm feeling physically. I just want a quiet life with my mother, but this is what I’m given. Sanemi stared for a while, took a sharp breath and spoke.

“Becoming what I am is a very hard thing to do.” He placed his hand on my shoulder, but unlike what he did before, his touch is more gentle. My watered eyes found his, as my body became heavier than earlier. “There are a lot of things that I wish never happened to me at all. You’re too young to join, but I understand you have nobody to rely on. To some extent, as I hate to admit it, you’re right too, but having the job that I have, it’s not a joke. It’s an unbreakable vow, as you will have to offer your body as part of your service in the corps.” He paused. He took his time kneeling down to my height, to see my reaction it seems. Or perhaps to talk to me like an equal. I couldn’t really tell, as my eye betrays me, a tear is falling down my cheek. “It isn’t an easy task to be burdened with. Do you really want to join?”

Without missing a beat, I replied. “It’s not like I have anyone else. If this is what the Gods want me to do, at the cost of my life, then so be it.”

»»----------►

The rest of the day was a blur. While I was outside of my home, mourning for my mother, he cleaned my home, including the pool of blood, spilled in the walls of my home. When he was done cleaning, he told me to get myself cleaned, and change my clothes while he took care of cooking. I obliged, as I didn’t want to run around with blood on my favourite kimono. If I do that, I’ll receive looks and attention I didn’t want at the first place.

I went out of my home, with a change of clothing, and a brush; so I can brush away the dried blood off of the kimono I was wearing while I take a bath in a nearby river. The river isn’t that far away. The river is just a few walks down my home, so water isn’t really a problem. The only reason I took a bath here was because I can’t really get water without stumbling my way up to my own home. None of the town people want to help us with chores. Taking a bath here is refreshing anyways, no one will bother to come and take a look at our home. I just have to make sure to make this quick, and head back to eat. My journey after leaving my home for good will be very long. I will need all the rest I can get.

After feeling satisfied with cleaning myself up and my own kimono, I figured it’s time to get up and go home. I’m a few steps away from my home, but I can already smell something getting cooked. Knowing it was Shinazugawa, I was impressed. Men rarely cook, especially the ones from the town. My grandfather was an exception, as he’s a hunter. I guess you can say this is the second male in my life who knows how to cook. It’s usually us, the woman in the house, who cooks for them. But considering that this person is a Demon Slayer, that only meant that they’re required to live and do things all by themselves.

I got inside my home, and the smell made my head spin. I didn’t realize how hungry I was, until whatever Shinazugawa was cooking slapped my nostrils. The sun is above my head, so it’s only right to feel this way. It’s been a long morning, now that I'm without my own mother.

“You’re changed. Good.” He hummed, clanking the big spoon used to mix– what appears to be soup. I bowed and went back outside to hang the kimono I washed, so it can dry. Going back inside, Shinazugawa already prepared two bowls– one for me, and one for him, and a pot of rice was placed on the floor, with wet cloth supporting it under. There’s another pot, but it stays under the fire he started. That one was the dish we’re going to have today. 

“Come, eat. We have to leave this place before nightfall.” He said to me as he put some rice in his own bowl, his head nodding across him, where my bowl and my chopstick are placed. And I did so. We ate in silence. No other words were uttered, and the tension is eating me in my insides. It’s probably for the best, considering how this guy loves becoming violent with no warnings whatsoever. He might’ve saved me, but I have not forgiven the way he talked me down. For professionalism, it’s much better to treat him like I would treat a good person, even when he hurt me earlier. Besides, I will work with him in the future, not that I’m looking forward to it, no matter how likely we get paired up in the future, once I pass the– what he calls, the Final Selection; a survival test that lasts for 7 days, a test that determines if you’re skillful enough to be a slayer..

It sounded easy, the way he described it. That was until he said we will face demons there, without medical attention, without food, without water– unless I already have some with me when I get there. The only breaks we have is whenever the sun conquers the land for a while. I might have to ask him later on our way what it would take for me to be qualified in the said test. Now that I think about it, why is there a need to leave my home behind? That’s an action I still don’t understand. I’ve been thinking about it, while I’m washing my own kimono earlier. Why is there a need to leave in the first place? Do I have to train somewhere else?

I finished my food, cleaning the bowl and leaving it inside the cabinet full of utensils and bowls. He did the same, but in haste– eager to get out of this place. That’s what I thought he’s gonna do, but then, a crow perched at the entrance of my home. It appears that Sanemi was expecting this tamed crow, as he proceeds to take a letter from his kimono and give it to this little lad. It bows as I was about to touch it. But the crow took off to the westside, with its foot holding the letter that Shinazugawa gave. That’s another thing to ask him about the content of the letter. But knowing we’re both leaving before nightfall, arriving at our destination might answer that question. It’s better to shut up instead of initiating a conversation with this… man. I don’t want to make him change his mind, knowing how hot-headed he immediately gets.

After eating, I took the large basket outside of our home, cleaned it with the little water reservoir we had inside, and put the things I might need. Most of it is the clothes that still fit my little body, including the kimono that I washed earlier. I also brought all of the accessories that my mother bought me, and my mother’s clothes. By the time I almost finished packing, Shinazugawa finished sharpening his sword. He was watching me the whole time, while I was packing my things. His stare pierced the back of my skull, which made me feel uneasy. When he finished, he stood up, going outside to wait for me there. The sunset is quite near, so I must hurry. I looked at the back of the storage area, and when I felt the small rough ball, I pulled it out. It was my grandma’s wedding gift, 2 kanzashis. One is warm coloured, while the other is cool coloured. Even though I never met my own grandmother, my grandfather made sure that I’d known her; through his words, that is. This will serve as my reminder of my grandpa and my grandma’s existence. There was a small fish knife near it, so I took it as well. I tied the fish knife outside of the basket, while the kanzashis are tucked in the side of the basket.

Satisfied, I covered the top of the basket with a white cloth, and attempted to lift it. By the word attempt, I meant falling back on the ground, with my bum planted in the ground. I know Shinazugawa heard it, but only snickered, knowing what was happening inside. It took a while, but I eventually put the basket behind my back.

I went out of my home, my hands are in the strap of the basket to support the weight of it. Shinazugawa seems to be facing the west momentarily before looking back at me. “Did you bring everything that you need?” As I nodded, he held out his left hand, in which I took. Looking at the sun that’s resting in the mountains, it made me think of the good times that I had– only to realize how quickly it was taken away from me. At the age of 8, it’s when I realized the meaning of losing somebody. I lost my best friend, my father, my grandfather, and my mother– in the span of 5 years alone. The thought alone reawakens the anger I never thought will ever appear. We stopped in our tracks, as I looked back at the home I’m about to abandon, remembering all the fun times me and my mother spent for a few seasons. Knowing what my mother would have wanted, we continue walking forward, where the moon is. I’ll do everything to get stronger, even if it means dying in battle.

Your death will not be wasted in vain, Mother.

Hey, it's greatgemar, also known as tomiokathedepresso. I finally released this abomination of a prologue! This fic will be called "The Inbetween", I hope you guys will read it. While writing the prologue, I realized that writing 6k alone is hard, which is why this prologue is only 5.8k. Because of that, I apologize for my incompetence. It's been a while since I made a fic in general, as the last time I released one was back in 2018 (wew, 5 years). You could say that this is a fresh start again, as the fic I released in Wattpad before, are now deleted (Yes, I used Wattpad before.) Before you ask it, no. I will not be uploading this in Wattpad, unless the entire fic is finished. From this moment forward, I will be updating this fic on Tumblr, and ao3 only. In Tumblr, I'll pin the masterlist post of the Inbetween, That way, you won't be having any trouble looking where you left off. Speaking of ao3, You can find this fic at ao3 as well! Clicking this link will send you there. Interact with me there as well, and if you have theories of where the story will head, I'm more than glad to hear you out. Thank you for reading! I hope you read the next one <3

[talesfromthebacklog]

Random: A gamer’s diary entry for October 2023!

While I finish writing, and playing, my next backlog games I’m excited to add to the wishlist ‘Little Goody Two Shoes’. Which looks like it’s going to be getting a physical release. (Which I won’t be picking this game up until the physical drops. I already know I’ll like it.)

One of my favorite YouTube channels called Nostalook worked on the trailer (and I think the in game cutscenes as well) and their work is stunning as usual. It really captures the 90s anime look. It deeply reminds me of Princess Maker.

Also it’s a shoujo yuri. Female romancable characters only! (And they’re all so ✨ PRETTY ✨) I can’t explain how HAPPY that makes me. I just hope it stays in an innocent direction.

You know, because in majority yuri isn’t made for women. 😐

I get it, but at the same time I feel locked out of the content because it’s so obviously not for me. But that’s a complaint for a different post on a different day! Makes me wonder if men feel the same way about yaoi.

I was very bad this month. There were a lot of physical sales. And then my preorders for new games rolled in. I always prioritize my physical games over my… “digital” games, so those will be in the front of my backlog!

Let’s take a look at what I picked up! (I paid full price for nothing on this list. I am wickedly good at finding deals and coupons. Which upon review I will attempt to pass onto you!):

Traumatarium

Dredge

Omori

FaeFarm

Inescapable

Sonic Superstars

Coffee Talk 2

Moon A Remix RPG

I’m already playing a few of these games, so my reviews on those should be out next week!

I decided to skip this month’s two biggest releases altogether until about next year. I want the GOTY Spider-Man 2 when it comes with all of the DLC for $20. The first one was amazing. I’m just willing to wait on it. Which is a similar story for Mario Wonder. I mostly use the fall season to get all the titles I’ve been wanting for a freaking sick deal. Why should I have to pay full price?

The older I get, the more I feel like I appreciate weird games and indie titles more anyway. I feel like those other projects have the freedom to take more aesthetic risks than the big companies. Not because of the creatives inside (They tend to always have good ideas), but the stockholders. 🙄

I adore some of these triple A titles to my core, but I crave to see more new things too. Different things.

Dave The Diver is a good example. That seems rad. I like ocean games. I like that we get more of them now. I’m gonna wait and see if that one gets a physical as well. You collect fish to go back to your restaurant to make sushi? Sign me up!

Don’t even get me started on Limited Run’s releases this month.

While ‘Persona 4’ and ‘This Way Madness Lies’ are no brainers for me; I was EXTREMELY on the fence about ‘Persona 3 Portable’. (I did pick it up reluctantly)

The remake of Persona 3 will be upon us soon and I don’t know if I’ll want to play P3P again. The problem lies in the fact that most of these games become much more expensive later. Buying it on “launch” from Limited Run usually IS the cheaper option.

That shit annoys me so bad. I don’t like picking up games for value. But because the game might be value I have to be ahead of the scalpers and pay for it at its maybe cheapest.

I collect games because I like ‘em. I want to play them and love them. I want to use my stuff. I don’t give a fuck about the “value”. I respect the folks that do care about that stuff but I plain just don’t.

But that’s also just kinda life. Not much can be done about other people. You can only truly control yourself. 🙄

Overall October has been an exceptionally excellent month for gaming! We’ve had so much good stuff come out this fall season. I’m excited for next month as well! Super Mario RPG will be making its re-debut and I can’t wait to talk about that one!