#which kinda sucks because i’ve been really looking forward to writing for ME

[lale-txt]

travel anxiety diary: i think my therapist will be delighted to hear that so far almost everything that could go wrong, did go wrong ٩(× ×)۶

i’m taking back what i said about being one of Miyazaki’s protagonists, rn i just want to be a background character whose only struggle is to hold two full paper bags of cheese and nothing else

no hardest battles for the most anxious soldiers, just cheese

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

If you are up for it could write more Justice League x Assistant reader?

That scenario did things to me honestly, and I can't find anything similar 😭

Maybe reader calls in sick and the each JL member goes to check on them unanounced (reader never told them were they lived but of course they'd know *sideeyes batman*) which end up on all the members questioning and pointing at each other *cue spider man meme*, because why are you at my darling's- I mean our Assistant's house!

Reader kicks everyone out except the gourmet chef batman brought to cook reader some chicken soup.

A Day in Life: In Health and Sickness

Synopsis: A day in life were you, the Justice League's assistant, find out that sickness and a bunch of obsessed superheroes are just too much to bear all at once.

Pairing: Yandere!Justice League X Assistant!Gn!Reader; Platonic!Alfred Pennyworth

Tw: Nonconsensual (not sexual) touching; A single mention of obscene acts; Kinda breaking and entering; Reader gets physically restrained; Kinda forced infantilization? But not really, just humiliation; Some members of the League might be out of character bc I don't know them well enough; I was sleepy while revising and editing this so I might fix any mistakes I didn’t see later; English is not my 1st language.

Word count: 2,6k

Requested? Yes.

Extra notes: Thank you so much for your compliments and the request!! Your suggestion really gave me inspiration to write as soon as I saw it. It's not exactly what you asked for but I hope it's the same vibe and you like it!! Also I’ve seen all the requests for a part 2 of “He's My Collar”, but as stated here, I didn't answer bc I’m working on it! I just didn't have any ideas yet!

General masterlist | A Day in Life - Series masterlist

Whatever hit you today, it sucks. Yesterday, in the afternoon, you had a mild throbbing in your head, but not exactly a headache, at night, fever hit you, alongside a cough. Medicine helped enough but today you still felt a little warm, your head hurt, your nose was somehow stuffed and leaking at the same time. You've been awake for an hour and still just couldn't get yourself to care for your basic needs like showering and eating, let alone go to work, so you called in sick. At least you would have some piece for a day.

Or that's what you thought, until you heard some tapping on your window, scaring the shit out of you, and saw Superman outside with a sympathetic smile and holding a pharmacy bag, a crate of water bottles and food.

Ugh, of course you couldn't actually have some peace.

You took a deep breath to prepare yourself and got up, walking towards you bedroom window, and tried sticking your head outside, hoping he wouldn't enter your home if you kicked him out before, but before you could do anything else, he supersped inside and suddenly was at your side, making you dizzier.

— Hey! I heard what happened. How’re you feeling? — The alien’s face showcased his concern on his furrowed brows and he took a step too close (any step in your direction taken by one of the heroes was already too close for you), extending his arm forward to place the back of his hand in your forehead. You took a step back but he didn't seem to mind.

— Uh, I'm fine. You didn't need to come here. — Superman shook his head.

— I wanted to help. Here, I brought som- — Doorbell. The hero looked in the direction the sound came from, most likely using his X-Ray vision to look through the walls and doors, and squinted his eyes. Oh boy. — You called someone? — His voice is weirdly calm, contrasting with the way he abruptly starts marching out of your room and to the door.

Earlier you thought the fast exertion of movements would be too great for you, but apparently adrenaline was on your side, enough to follow him around as if you were the visitor inside your own place.

— I didn't. — You respond flatly and holding back a groan from annoyance, since you also didn't invite him.

Superman immediately opens the door as soon as it's within his reach and what's on the other side surprises you more than when you got the job at the watchtower.

— Superman. — Batman didn't seem surprised, but he also never showed emotions other than anger. — (Y/N). This is Penny-One. — He is surely referencing the old man well dressed on his side. — He is here to take care of you. — You raise an eyebrow, almost speechless.

— T-Take care of me? — You helplessly watch them invading your residency, painfully aware there's nothing you can do. Superman crossed his arms.

— This is not necessary, I came here to do just that. — Superman’s protest unfortunately doesn't give you any hint of how this will all turn out, nor does it scare Batman and his friend away..

— You have your own responsibilities. — Batman simply states. — You should go.

Penny-One simply turns to you.

— It's a pleasure, Miss/Master/Mx (Y/N), even in your condition. Master Batman talks a lot about you. — You don't know what to stay and it probably shows, since no one waits much for your reaction before Penny-One is moving towards your kitchen and Batman and Superman continue with their argument.

You just go and sit down on your couch, questioning your life decisions and escape plans, which will have to wait until this damned curse leaves your body (and your home).

Your hands raise to rub your face and maybe give you some clearance, maybe wake you up from this nightmare, but keeping your eyes closed and sitting down only remind you of your condition. You feel worse or is it just your spirits? Either way, you let your body slide down until your side rests on the couch cushions, arms hugging your own body to try to have some warmth back. When did it become so cold?

At least their voices were low, as if trying not to bother you, it's a little soothing, especially with the promise of having food. Your eyes hurt just from staying open so you don't. At some point, some type of fabric is thrown over your body and a hand combs through your hair. You are too weak to do anything.

Next time you open your eyes, it's due to disturbing noises, your head is no longer on the arm of the couch and instead is laying on someone’s bare thighs. A pair of hands is running through your locks, and a really nice smell is in the air.

Did you fall asleep?

That would explain why your head is on fucking Wonder Woman's lap and she is looking at you lovingly. Also the fabric from before is Superman's cape.

You quickly shoot up, although just as fast, four or five pairs of hands, coming from seemingly out of nowhere — startling you even more — push you back down, you don't go without struggle, and soon, all hands disappear, green lights catch your attention and you can't move your body a single inch anymore. Somehow, you ended up restrained by a green and bright cocoon, as if you were soon to be a butterfly, only your face is free. Green Lantern’s construct.

— Hey, hey, calm down, hot stuff. I know she’s scary and you would never want to be close to anyone else but me, but you still need rest. — You're turned to the ceiling against your wishes. For some reason the fact that your whole body is covered doesn't give you the comfort nor the protection it should give you, instead, it reminds you of how vulnerable you are.

Your wide and paranoid eyes try to search for anything, since your head is being held in place. You can see Wonder Woman above you, glaring at something outside your line of vision, you are still in her lap. A bit of Aquaman’s blond hair on the bottom of your vision. And Batman, towering over you and the amazon, just observing as always.

— You can release them now, Green Lantern. — It's Superman's voice.

— He is not going to. — You see Batman saying at the same time another voice speaks the same sentence, making all of them turn in the direction of the sound, somewhere you can't see, but you recognize the voice. — He thinks they're weak and incapable of making decisions. — I'm sorry, who is weak and incapable of making decisions here? — He also wants to prove he is the only one capable of protecting and taking care of (Y/N), and impress them so they will fall right into his arms, call him a hero and give him a kiss… And other obscene things. — Batman smirks. Wonder Woman and another new and deep voice loudly laugh, the masculine voice being more obnoxious. Someone scoffs indignantly.

— Okay. Get out of my fucking head or I will make you. — The Lantern's voice sounds angry and you hear hurried footsteps. They wouldn't fight right here, right?! Right beside your sick body and in the middle of your crumpled apartament… It would make such a mess…

— I wasn't inside your head. Your thoughts were too loud, it's like you are screaming in my ear.

— I will make you scream! — You hear Superman superspeeding, probably getting in between the fighting duo.

— Ha- Green Lantern, calm down. No one will make anyone do anything here.

The agonizing feeling of restriction grows.

— WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? — You scream in a husky voice, panting right after. Everyone is silent and the next second, the construct moves you around until you're sitting up, back to the back of the couch. You are still being held and manhandled, but at least you're not in someone's lap and you can see something other than your ceiling.

Martian Manhunter is standing a few meters away from you, Superman by his side. Wonder Woman was still sitting beside you and doesn't look like getting up any time soon, Green Lantern makes his way to sit down on your other side, placing his arm around you, gladly you can't even feel it. Batman is still standing on the side of the couch, his cape covering his body. Aquaman is sitting in your armchair, his face laid on his hand, watching amused, if not a bit annoyed.

It's so weird seeing all of them, suited up, in the middle of your living room, and in plain daylight.

— We came here to nurse you back to health. — Wonder Woman speaks.

— Uhh, don't you think this is a little too much? — The heroes look at each other as if looking for the issue.

— I mean, yeah. I could do it alone, but for some reason when I got here, these freaks had already broken into your house. — Freak Lantern says, pointing an accusing finger at the other freaks in question, the trinity, Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman. — Those two came in later. — He nodded at Martian Manhunter and Aquaman, not giving them a single look, his eyes solely on you. Like everytime he insists on overly making eye contact with you, it's a bit uncanny. — Worry not, beautiful. I will kick them out for you. — Superman and Wonder Woman snort at his arrogance.

— You could go with them. I'm fine, I don't need help. I’ve been taking care of myself for years and can still do it. — You've been nice long enough, they crossed the line, they invaded your apartment, which is so unprofessional, and you need to set limits. They just look at you with pity.

— I am are aware of my neglect. — Neglect? — But it's going to be different now that we are reunited… — Uh? What is Manhunter talking about?

— Exactly. History has proven how men are unreliable and indifferent to others. I'm the only one you need, darling. — Wonder Woman caresses your face. — I don't even know what they think they are doing here…

— What are you doing here, princess? Don't you have mommy issues to fix or a guy named Steve Trevor to talk to? — The amazon furrowed her eyebrows and glared at the one sitting on your other side.

— Don't listen to him, (Y/N). I left Steve a long time ago, when I met you. — Girl, why? Go back to your man! Leave me alone! — What about Aquaman? Doesn't he have a kingdom to rule? — The man in question dismissed her answer with a hand movement.

— I’m protecting Atlantis’s future by making sure none of you get any ideas and (Y/N) survives their illness. — Batman shook his head.

— I’ve already made sure they're taken care of. You shouldn't be here. There's more important matters for us out there.

— Then why aren't you there?

Their battle of egos is just too fast for your slowed down brain to process and try to formulate any form of strategy. Before their banter gets worse, the older man from before reappears.

— Your soup is ready, Miss/Master/Mx (Y/N). — Penny-One seems unbothered by the commotion around you, walking in with the source of the heavenly smell. Your mouth waters.

— Let me do it, Penny-One. — Wonder Woman gently offers and takes the bowl from him, along with the spoon. The Justice League makes sounds of disgust when they start watching her spoon feeding you (they wanted to be in her place).

You groan, complain, try to wiggle out of the construct but nothing works, especially with your fatigued and sick state. If you weren't claustrophobic before you might be from now on. You are clearly uncomfortable and practically begging to get out but for some reason they just won't listen. It gets to the point where as soon as you finish your soup — after realizing, again, that with those people it's just easier to surrender —, and take your medicine, Green Lantern’s temper apparently gets done with your whining and resistance, and he simply makes another construct. Now you have a pacifier in your mouth. It's your limit.

They start fighting again because some of them find it degrading, some like to hear your voice even if they know how close to cussing them out you are, and some think it's cute and prefer your quietness over your cries.

You can't move. You can't spit it out. You can't bite it off. You can't ask for help.

Green Lantern is rubbing your cheek while — slightly — mocking you. Wonder Woman is cooing at you, while trying to convince the Lantern to stop with his antics. Aquaman is clearly expressing he is on the Lantern’s side. Batman, Superman and Martian Manhunter are threatening him.

Frustration gets the better of you and the dam breaks loose. Now you are wrapped, with a pacifier and crying. Like a baby. In front of your bosses. In front of people who think you are vulnerable and need them. They're practically keeping you hostage. You didn't want them here. You told them no, countless times, and they just blatantly ignored your boundaries.

You have a pa-ci-fi-er. In. Your. Mouth.

And they are talking. They are ignoring you. They're been doing it for hours. No. Months. That's abuse.

This is the most emotion they ever got out of you and it immediately quiets everyone down. They're just staring at you, shocked. This whole thing is just a shitshow. A disaster. They're a curse. You are cursed.

It's so distracting that it makes Green Lantern lose his concentration, which is what fuels his ring’s power, and the constructs start dissipating.

You immediately get up and put as much distance between you and the team, who all have wide eyes and maybe had just now realized the gravity of the situation, while thinking about control damage.

You are searching desperately for how you could effectively kick them out, while also experiencing just the aftereffects of a new trauma, when it looks like it will get even worse. Flash zooms into the apartment.

— Hey, (Y/N)! Sorry I took so long! Busy Day. N-Not that I wouldn't quit anything and everything just to help you. I just now saw the notification that you took a day off today! W-What… W-What are you guys doing here…? — The speedster noticed after his rambles the he is not the only one in the middle of your living room, and points at the whole team, who is on the complete opposite side of you. They also point at him.

— You’re late. — Batman states.

— Slowest man alive. — Green Lantern calls out his friend.

Flash looks around as if gathering his thoughts and notices your distressed state. He turns completely to them, his back to you and him being between you and his team.

— What did you do to them? — At his demand, all of them start pointing at each other and giving some sort of explanation or their side of the story at the same time, turning it into unintelligible sounds, until your yell interrupts them.

— GET. OUT!

— But-

— OUT!

— But, (Y/N)-

— NOW! GET OUT NOW!

They grumble but comply. Penny-One, who was totally unfazed during the while ordeal, just sighs, and starts making his way with them. Until you take a timid step toward him and stop him.

— N-Not you… I-I mean the soup was really good and I don't think I will have the energy to cook later… I-If it's n-not bothering you… — The older man smiles placantinly at you.

— Of course, dear. I'm getting paid either way, might as well just finish my job here.

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Taglist:

@wandalfnation

[zombieunicorngamerzu]

(Nat Scatorccio x fem reader on period)

[Warnings - Oral while on period to help with cramps, whiney Nat begging to eat you out, mentions of cannibalism and Nat liking the taste of blood]

“Come on babe, lemme help….” Nat whined at you, she’d been at it all day, tending to you on your period with chocolate, a hot compress on your tummy, cuddles, kisses, but now what she wanted to do was help you with your cramps… in a more sensual manner.

“No, Nat, that’s disgusting.” You shook your head again, you couldn’t believe your girlfriend wanted to eat you out while you were on your period. “Come on, I’ve eaten worse.” She countered which made you freeze, it had been weeks since you all ate Javi and hearing her say that so nonchalantly was… disturbing. “Natalie.” You just stared at her, she quickly realized what she said and stuttered out as she stepped forward,

“Look, you know what I mean, and just- in biology class they said that orgasms help with period cramps, something about relaxing your like uterine wall or something.” She rasped out with a innocent shrug, the thing was, Natalie really wasn’t bothered by the taste of blood for some reason, but after eating Javi…. She kinda just started craving it. She felt disgusting and horrible for it but she’s just had this fantasy of eating you out on your period, plus she was hungry. She knows it’s weird and like utterly disgusting to think it but… she was thinking, (hey, it’s kinda a meal, blood has iron and protein, right? Calories?) she shrugged at the thought before approaching you again to beg again.

“Please baby, I wanna help you, just please… let me.” She pleaded again with those begging eyes she would give you, jutting her lip out just right making you cave with a sigh, “God- fuck Natalie, fine.” You sighed out before laying down, you didn’t understand why she would do this but if it would help with your cramps, fine. Plus, she looked so happy and excited when you said yes, dropping to her knees almost immediately to tug off your pants.

“You won’t regret it baby, I promise, now just relax, let me take care of you.” She spoke with such a loving tone before spreading your legs, her eyes locked on the mess between your thighs, licking her lips and swallowing unconsciously before kissing your knee and down your inner thigh before finally meeting where she wanted, hesitating before she just pushed her face in between your thighs completely, her tongue slipping through your folds with a loud groan like moan coming from her.

You’d never heard her moan like that before, and god, you’d never had her eat you out so eagerly before either. Nat ate you out like she was starved, loud sucks and messy wet noises sounding out as she flicked her tongue and sucked at your folds, her lips grazing your clit to make you shiver and tremble as she rubbed your thighs, “Fuck baby, god… you taste so fucking good…” she panted out, making you whine out, for some reason her words embarrassed you and turned you on more, moaning out as you pushed your hand down to grip her hair, moaning for her through quick gasps, “N-Nat, I’m gonna cum!” She just smirked against your clit, sucking on it harder to make your eyes roll back before mumbling out, “Come on baby, cum for me!”

And at those words your body keened up, back arching and body tensing as you cried out, getting thrown into a burning orgasm because Nat wouldn’t let up, crying out as you came, tugging on Nat’s hair so hard she whimpered, helping you through your orgasm before finally pulling away once you went limp. Your eyes widened at the sight of her, face covered in your blood which made you blush red with a whine, “Nat, ew.” She just smirked and wiped at her face timidly, “What? I can’t help it, I’m starving.”

(This was a little weird, but I just saw the gif and got the idea to write this. I know it’s gross, but Mabye it’s a turn on for some people, idk. Don’t come after me. Lol)

[breadmate500]

The letter (part four)

Dipper,

I read your letter. I guess all I can say is thank you. My mom and dad don’t know what to do without our mansion. They’ve never been in the… middle class. I’m looking forward to it though, I mean I get to be a normal kid for once. My friends dropped me. Turns out they were sucking up to me because I had money. Without the money I’m just…average.

Ugh, it sounds awful in writting. It’s going to be a lot to get used to. And hey- thanks for telling me about lazy Susan looking for employees. Maybe I’ll talk to her. (If I’m being honest, I’m kinda scared of her. I mean am I allowed to look at her lazy eye? Should I just look at one eye? Ignore it completely? I don’t know!)

I hope I get to see you and Mabel soon. I mean- you’re kinda my only friends now. Oh my god. I sound pathetic. Then again I am writing to a middle class dork who lived in a shack all summer. (Hopefully you got the reference from your letter) I guess I’m kind of friends with Wendy, Candy, and Grenda now.

Wendy seems pretty cool. You must’ve liked her a lot to give her your hat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not wear that pine tree hat- hey didn’t bill call you pine tree? Ugh, never mind I’d rather not think about Weirdmagedon right now. I mean I wore a potato sack for a week.

As for Candy and Grenda they’re definitely… weird. That’s not a bad thing it’s just…different. (Which also isn’t a bad thing) I was raised on a mother who needed me to be perfect who told me different was bad. I’m trying to learn how to be my own person now. And you and Mabel were…are- a big influence on me.

Oh yeah, I should probably mention.

Wendy saw you give me the letter and then Candy and Grenda over heard and yeah- now they know about it. Eh, it’s whatever really. Just some letter. Although they did to jump to some…interesting conclusions. But we’re friends now! Even after all the horrible stuff I said and did to you and your sister you two are still willing to be my friends. Or at least be friendly. I know you still secretly hate me. Thanks again for writting this letter Dipper. It made me feel a lot better. See you soon.

Signed,

Pacifica

P.S (I got like fifty hand cramps writing this stupid letter. Next time just ask for my phone number. You are technically a teen now. Don’t you have one? Wait- more importantly do you even know how to use one? Eh, I’ll talk to Mabel. See you next summer)

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 70 PN BELOW Lets fucking go cap! ok it’s the weekend, I have my own writing block and I finally finished my fucking assignments and handed them in, I’m practically free forever!! (exams loom in the distance, i willfully ignore their shadow)

I’ve started by reading from chapter 67 just to bring myself back into the mindset (and because they are hype as all hell chapters), this is faster than starting my like 7th re-read.

I even made myself a cuppa to really settle in, the vibes are immaculate, I played Bizet Carmen while reading this time

The dichotomy of Juleka:

I don't want to hurt anyone!

Extreme violence is efficient. 

The fact that we didn’t get ladybug trying to kiss rena when she was shot by dark cupid is tragic

This time i listened to shoot to thrill by ACDC, and Burn it down by awolnation for the badass parts

Anyway finally onto Fei, that only took me two hours (i briefly wrote shit so yknow, a good time!)

Fei’s tragic backstory be upsetting frfr, Like damn brother you watched your dad die in front of you? Do you need a blanket and a hug?

The tone change from “My life ended when my dad died.” to “summer was awesome!!” made me snort horrible it’s not funny- but it kind of is-

Oh my god Juleka got a break for weeks AND WE DIDN’T GET TO SEE IT??? Tragedy. (i’m kidding, so happy that she got a break <33)

Rose thirsting over Panthera in a crop top is too funny- you just know if it was anyone else Juleka would be pouting like “damn what do they have that I don’t?” 

Oop her hands still kinda fucked, curiouser and curiouser. I wonder if she has tried to practice her secondary power. Which rq, it was SUCH bullshit that LB gets two and the cat miraculous gets one in canon, so happy you retconned it

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD OK CAP I AM SO HYPE HYPE SHE GOT A MODELING INTERNSHIP?????? Like sure cause nepotism but i’ve been wanting to see Juleka try out modeling in a real environment for ages cause like thats something she is interested in yknow and i just- 

Augh, hype as hell. And an excellent reason for her to be going to Shanghai, I applaud your problem solving to fit Juleka into the show's narrative! I applaud it always, but this one was more difficult than usual methinks

I have pizza now it is 8pm

Anyways; NOO GABEY BABY DON’T BE EVIL VIBES TO JULEKA SHE’S JUST A LITTLE THING

Oh my poor awkward Juleka… Gabriel wasn’t helping but this is so funny, dude you vowed to kill this girl like a month ago open your eyes

I NEED juleka’s modeling arc to be a thing. Idk how into detail you went but i’m hoping for some i’m rabid i’ve been waiting for this for like 3 years

Oh airports SUCK i feel her anxiety so much, poor thing… i forced my friend to share her location with me one time so we could stalk each other, we never turned it off its kinda funny

… why is Anarka banned from airports?? Being “a living weapon” is so vague.

Killing myself rose and juleka are so cute- and obsessed with each other- every hour is insane

I love Juleka instantly becoming a disaster on baby’s first flight

Juleka instantly being on high alert around gabriel is so real.

“Right,” Mr Agreste’s face didn’t twitch nor soften much in response, just nodded in understanding and turned back to stare forward. “The opening of this store is essential to the future of the Agreste Brand, you two. Opening it much sooner is very good news. There will be other fun times with your friends.”

Hardass, fuck off!!

Poker with literal chips made me laugh- adrien would be terrible at poker

Spiderman far from home? Nah, Panthera Noir far from home. 

“Oh that building looked fun to climb.” please Juleka unhinged parkour arc when?? Like people turn away from her and then look back and she’s up a tree. 

HELP “bye bye bag” is so real-

She’s so scary, but I wanna ask what her hair dye is. Do it. Please. I think you would factory reset Nathalie and she would answer on autopilot

Awkwardly playing chess is so real, also; yippee!! Adrien and Juleka bonding even more after the acting debacle!!

“Knights were cute. Little pony’s. Rose always wanted to move her knights cause they reminded her of unicorns.” please this is literally my strategy in chess, i just move them around and sometimes i win because i confuse people so badly

LB overthinking chess is hilarious. 

Adrien POV???

YOU CAN LEARN MANY THINGS FROM JULEKA SUCH; HOW TO BE A CAT. sorry i just had the mad idea that Adrien might find out this chapter… i would go insane if that turned out to be right

“Knowing info about me is pretty easy when your Wikipedia is super detailed” that’s fucking depressing. Adrien baby that’s a terrible way to get to know someone and not the same experience at all- 

Gaelic is a real language!! And a bitch to learn- I briefly tried with my dad and we both gave up, we’ll just stick with scots english

“Where do you disappear during akumas?” hard hitting question Adrien, ten points!

And is also making me high key suspicious about him finding out, the vibes are there

Nah, nah evil. Gabriel spend time with your son goddamnit 

GET HIS ASS JULEKA YES GIRL I LOVE YOU

The fact that she thinks she isn’t brave sometimes infuriates me, like babe i get your insecure but your brave as hell. 

QUEEN SHIT JUST WENT DOWN THERE

Juleka ripped him to shreds hell fucking yeah.

Wait. why did she give him the king? Hawkmoth called himself a king… cue the x-files music

Who the fuck is this asshole? Fei. Kick his ass, i command thee. 

Oh curious, she has burn scars from the fire, i like this detail. 

I feel like Fei and Juleka will get along, based on the ever present rage against one guy

She is being used augh

“Your father deserves to be avanged.”

“He does.” UMM GIRL YOUR DAD WOULD HATE THAT WEREN’T YOU THERE FOR THE FLASHBACK??

I want Cash to gtbnrvice this asshole is just using her desperation for information- 

I want Juleka to scare him into telling them, as Panthera, i think she would be quite good at that. 

Juleka is a feral beast who needs her outside time (i like how she wants to run on rooftops a lot its cute)

LORE LORE LORE LORE 

Excited. The prodigious?? Tell me more silly cheese guy

Ummm. i need the prodigious to show up, i can’t remember if thats what Fei has or if this is future future foreshadowing, this is exciting

New arc unlocked: freeing the Kwami from their jewelery or the curse. 

Also; yes sadistic plagg in the face of the guardians temple being destroyed, you go girl

Guardian temple? Swallowed whole? Sounds frightening. What a feast.  HA

Model Juleka yippee!

Help- adrien your advice is trash-

Ok existential conversation, yes girl let me spiral-

No sick girl Nathalie let adrien speak i want to know what he thinks of the best girlies-

Plagg wanting to take him under his wing- Juleka saying he wants to replace her with Adrien- ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER. 

Nah if you actually do have a reveal to Adrien i am going to go buckwild- cause either the vibes of the chapter got me but i think I guessed before any of the concrete foreshadowing

Ok sick girl nathalie actually has some sound advice and is being lovely to Juleka 

Yes Juleka use your strength

FEI STEALING CAMERAS??

Get her ass Juleka, or- politely bite her arm juleka?!?

Juleka is just brawling in an alleyway- like damn sister- watch out for bruises you might not be allowed to model-

Oh god what if she took plagg during some of their scrapping- actually, that would be fine. Juleka would just go insane and fight her

Juleka; desperately grasping for something familiar and bantering with Fei

Fei: what the fuck is wrong with her?

Nicest mugger I’ve ever met real and true

Wait

NOO JULEKA THEY WON’T LET YOU MODEL LIKE THIS

YEAH KICK. HER. ASS. 

Plagg stays with Juleka yippeee!!

Help their dynamic is so funny- exactly what i was wanting. 

Juleka would want to learn how to disappear even better than she already does wouldn’t she

Nah not Fei thinking “well that was fucking weird” while juleka is like “Oh that was cool” Juleka is so weirdgirl core i love her

Oh shit she stole marinettes stuff Tiki is there- 

Kick the asshole in the balls Fei, i command thee.

I am so happy Nathalie and Juleka have some sort of alliance, in my as to be written huge tragedy based on Nathalie Gabriel and Emily (which is extensively planned), I think Nathalie is more similar to Juleka as a teenager. 

Adrien and Nathalie interaction- “yes we- we did it” agyuhtvrinjfeok love her. 

Marinette blinked vacantly, standing in the back alley streets of Shanghai with a paling expression on her face and her entire inventory ghosted from her person.

WHERE THE HELL AM I!?

HELP SHE’S SO FUNNY- i love disaster marinette please-

and thats a wrap for Fei! i started this before five and it is now ten pm- i did other things though.

this was awesome cap, I look forward to the next chapters and I shall review them tomorrow!!!!!!

I hope you enjoyed <3

GLAD YOU ENJOYED!!!!!!

[ohmeadows]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

i wasn't tagged, i just wanted to do it 😌

How many works do you have on AO3? 10 currently. if we’re counting all past accounts and orphaned works… easily 50-60.

What is your AO3 word count? currently 149,834. if we account for the grand total, well. more. ha.

What fandoms do you write for? i’ve been in quite a few, mostly video game ones, but right now it’s mostly only honkai star rail on my mind though i have the odd rhaenicent idea rattling around.

What are your top five fics by kudos? you and me are a twisted fantasy (kafhime enemies to milkies), i’m on a leash called you (kafhime with dom himeko), da capo al fine (kafhime time loops), the dew of dying stars (ruanliu mara body horrors and cannibalism), and spark (kafxuan horny).

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes, i try to most of the time! i had a lapse this fall where i just didn’t have enough energy to do it for months on end, but i cleared my inbox of that backlog on january 1st. i’m trying to be more consistent going forward.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? none i can link bc orphaned or on old accounts, but i do love a good angsty ending if it makes sense for the way the story has been going. kinda aching to write one again i won’t lie.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of them are quite happy in terms of endings! i know people doomed so hard about da capo was going to have a sad tragic ending but that was… never in the cards for me. i already have it written and i’m very excited about getting there.

Do you get hate on fics? sort of. i wish people would offer up critiques instead of just leaving comments like “ew this is unhygienic”, “disgusting”, “can’t believe i read 8 chapters just for BOTTOM KAFKA” or whatever else pointless stuff i’ve deleted.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? mostly, yes. i think 99% of my writing stems from a very clear and vivid image of a sex scene, and then me building backwards to root that sex in a way that feels natural and consistent to both characters. and i'm always looking for some new angle in smut, or else it'll bore me, so that means exploring new kinks or dynamics each time.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? no, i frankly hate crossovers and it’s one of my blocked tags on ao3.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? oh yeah lol. sucks! what can you do! it always amuses me because if these people just bothered to talk to me in the way of “hey, i love x idea, i want to do my own take of it, can i discuss some ideas with you?” i’d be 100% down to help nurture that. i reblogged a post about it the other day but i definitely feel that fandom community has turned into a fandom clout competition which feeds into this, too many of us looking for a quick boost in some imaginary clout chasing.

Have you ever had a fic translated? several, yes. for a while i had a bunch of old fics translated into russian. it always flatters me that people would go through that effort with my works.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before? yes, i’ve written a ton of unpublished wips with others and enjoyed the process, and then one i co-wrote with junie and published in an old fandom. i’d love to do it again, tbh, it’s incredibly energizing and fun, but wrangling two people’s creativity together over an extended period of time is always a lot of work and agreements, as well as being able to actually produce. you both need to trust each other and deliver.

What's your all-time favourite ship? uhm. i don’t know. i really don’t. ships by themselves don’t make me feel that excited, weirdly enough, but rather what people make exist in them. i have absolutely lost interest in compelling ships because the fandom de-fanged them, pulled their punches or morphed every single aspect about them into “uwu soft healing together”. (i could go into a long rant about how healing tends to be kinda… ugly…. in interpersonal dynamics. but that’s for another time.)

What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? most of my unfinished wips i’m completely at ease with leaving behind in the dust. most. i do spend a lot of time thinking about a dorothea/rhea court drama au.

What are your writing strengths? visuals, i think. i have a very vivid inner eye when writing and the scenes play out like a movie for me, so i pay a lot of attention to the choreography and details of the scenes, where everyone’s hands are, and so on, to try and translate my inner vision to text. i can be a very harsh editor which means i’m always looking at what effect each scene is striving for — does it make sense for it to meander, or does it need to be snappier, sharper?

What are your writing weaknesses? i feel like my vocabulary could do with enrichment. i spend a lot of time looking up synonyms because they never stick in my head, and most of my reading books is spent noting down words in a notepad i’d like to use. sometimes i leave too much to be fixed in editing instead of putting it all down in the first draft. i don’t like involving too many characters so sometimes i think fics can get a bit too narrow — and sometimes i can play that for good effect, i guess.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? if you know it, sure, if you want; or at the very least use a beta who knows the language. i tried reading some fics that made use of my mother tongue and my god was it jarringly obvious google translate as well as irrelevant. i think it is worth asking twice what effect it will have for the reader and if it will come off as jarring.

First fandom you wrote for? lord of the rings! man i loved my mary sue silly era.

Favourite fic you've ever written? completed: spark. the amount of research i poured into it, as well as dedicating myself to convoluting fu xuan’s internal voice and outlook on things was some real hard work, but satisfying in the end. incomplete: the dew of dying stars. this one pushed me to research more, think harder about what i wanted to convey, and make them be worse. it’s been a very fun shift in how much i allow myself to dig deep, and relaxing and trusting the audience more. truly a new level of sicko weirdo fic for me.

[andiwriteordie]

hi andi :) i love your writing sm and i saw someone else ask you for writing tips, but…i’ve always wondered how to make an outline? especially a really detailed one, like the one you described in another post. i always struggle with longer fics bc i don’t know how to make a good outline, and it sucks! i was wondering if you have any tips to help with that? <3

hi hello!!! 😊💖

so, i don't really know if there's a set way to write an outline, but i'll go ahead and share my methods for it if that's okay?

as a warning, i've always been someone who's had to take very thorough, detailed notes in order to fully understand or like retain anything. i was that way all throughout school, so i definitely think my outline reflect that... again, these are just my processes!

ok, so first i kind of use my outline as just a place to dump ideas as they come, if that makes sense? so right now, i've got a couple in progress outlines that i just don't have the time to flesh out yet, but as i get inspiration, i just throw those ideas into there and know i'll come back later... which is part how i end up with massive docs at the end lol.

take the outline piece by piece. so, when i say "wow i wrote a 90 page outline for this fic bc i'm crazy" obviously that took me a while and i didn't like... conceptualize it all at once? if that makes sense? i had the basic skeleton idea of what i wanted, then i just broke it down into smaller pieces from there. for me, on long fics like i know better (but you're still around) or i'll find a new place to be from, what i have done is go chapter by chapter (naturally) and then i do section by section. for these two fics, i found it easiest to allow myself 3 sections per chapter. so now, you kind of have a marker of "okay, i'm on chapter 5, section 2" and can give yourself goals and have a better overall framework for the fic!

okay, now more on the sections themselves (part 1): this one is kind of just funny, but i like to give my little sections names. usually they're just key words for me to remember what the hell i'm supposed to be talking about in this section (the way that my chapter titles also provide that frame of reference for me). so for example (sorry i'm not trying to be like ooh look at my fics! just like. it helps me with explaining to give examples lol), in i'll find a new place to be from, chapter 6 is called "The Vision" and section 3 on my outline was called "Into the Upside Down" because i literally decided/had in my mind that i wanted that last section to lead into chapter 7, which is their adventures in the upside down. even when i hadn't fully written that section out yet, i knew the main point of that scene was to have the party first venture into the UD... which leads into my next point.

for me, breaking things into sections like this (as opposed to winging it - which i often do on oneshots but don't really recommend on long fics) literally helps me break down what scenes need to be written. so, i ask myself things like: what are you trying to accomplish in this chapter? where does this chapter fit into the overall plot? and what scenes need to happen in order to progress the plot or the characters' arcs forward? or do you have a scene in mind that you wanna build around? when i have that, i kinda throw that into the mix, then build the chapter around it! that helps when you have a basic understanding of what you wanna write in the fic but are struggling in the "filler" chapters and things. so for me, doing it this way helps me conceptualize and fully map out how the plot is progressing, what needs to happen in later chapters, or the opposite with what is being set up in earlier chapters.

once i have the chapters/sections figured out, i literally just like bullet point the hell out of it. how do i imagine the scene? is it mostly internal monologue? what is happening in that section? any dialogue i might have, i'll throw in there! i'll literally write down things as simple as "we see mike going into will's room" or something like that, just so i am beginning to visualize what i'm trying to accomplish here. (again... this is also probably taking it a step further than i have to, but for someone who needs to be thorough and likes having a tool to fall back on whenever i'm struggling through a chapter, it's a lifesaver). i also like leaving myself notes for things to foreshadow in the overarching plot, as well as reminders for where the narrator's story arc should be at right now. so for example, when outlining i know better, i really tried to remind myself that i was supposed to be emphasizing mike's guilt because of losing will throughout different chapters, and when i came back to write it, i knew what kind of emotional tone to set for his perspective.

anyways, that was a LOT, so i hope you were able to find any of it helpful! also if it helps, here's an example of a chapter i outlined for i'll find a new place to be from so you can kind of see how i set my chapter outlines up! :)

[ciaossu-imagines]

Thank you so much. And I see. Hope you enjoy the rest of the anime since it really is enjoyable, even if it hurts at times. And yes. So many people suffered and since I love more than just my fave it wasn’t nice to see. My fave is Captain Hitsugaya. And of course. Who are actually your faves now that we’re talking about it? He’s still not okay but I know he will be when the time comes since he still has an important part later on (which was kinda shown in one of the first trailers which was a nice surprise). Thank you so much. Like always, mixed. I had a video call with my friend yesterday which lasted two hours and the only reason it ended was because she had to go out to walk her dog. We also plan on calling later again this weekend which I’m looking forward to. I told her about an idea I have for a new story based on the Jujutsu Kaisen series and she approves so I might end up writing that at some point (even though I don’t have as much faith as usual in it since the series is very different from what I usually write about). I was also a bit sad because there’s a fave of mine from a different series that dies at some point and I was rewatching some episodes with him and seeing him being his great self just made it hurt. But I am glad that we got what we did of him because it’s beautiful nonetheless.

I also hope that your week calms down and that you can take it easy in one way or another.

C

You’re always welcome! Thank you so much for always wanting to talk to me, even if I’m not being super active! I really appreciate it! And I do enjoy Bleach and really, I should get back into either reading it or watching it. I mostly stuck to reading but I have been told that the fillers in Bleach, while excessive, were at least enjoyable. And honestly, I should have suspected that. Most of the people I know who love Bleach have Hitsugaya as a favourite and I definitely do think he’s a really cool character and I enjoy him, but he’s never been one of my favourites. I do love all of Squad 11, Hanatarou, Renji, Kira, Shuhei, and I’m a huge slut for both Shinji, Akon, and Kensei, not going to lie. All of the Visoreds were amazing. And, since I’ve been massively spoiled and know how everything goes and how the series ends, I know some of those characters really get hurt.

I’m so glad you got to have a video call with your friend! I know you said you don’t get to talk as much as you would like and I hope you’ll get more chances to chat! And I’ve watched the entirety of the first season of Jujutsu Kaisen and I definitely get what you mean. The only reason it’s not on my list is because I find it rather difficult to write for so I wish you all the best of luck! And thank you for the well wishes. Today was absolutely brutal…I had to have payroll done by last night and there was two employees who just would not get me their hours for the last week properly and who didn’t swipe as they should’ve through their shifts with their cards…anyway, when one of them called this morning to give me their hours, I had to tell them they missed the deadline for payroll that I had been super clear about and because of that, they were going to be missing last weeks pay off their paycheques. There was nothing I could do about it, honestly…anyway, long story short, I was told at some point during the argument that they hoped I both got raped on the way home tonight or hit by a fucking bus and like…work’s taking care of that and being awesome about it since I had to report that above me but it still fucking sucked. I hate piss poor men who hate being told no by a woman and resort to threats or wishes of violence on them. I’m trying so hard to not be blocked creatively, and to get things done here, even though I’m spending until seven at night at work, and while I love one of my friends dearly, they have been using me as a free therapist lately so rather tough week but you know, things will get better and I’m trying to stay as positive as possible! Taking time for self-care and happiness boosting things like rewatching favourite movies (Ghibli’s been a huge one for me lately because fuck, are they gorgeous)! I hope you, and each and every person reading this, is doing amazing, having fantastic weeks, and remembering to take time for self-care as well!

[keefwho]

July 19 - 2023 Wednesday

7:51 AM

I think maybe I have a case of imposter syndrome. Something I was reading related to how I think, “They wouldn’t say I was good if they knew what I was REALLY like.” It makes sense too, believing you’re a bad or broken person despite operating well on the outside will make you feel like that quote. But as soon as I defuse from self criticizing thoughts and develop better perspective, my self opinion improves greatly. 

2:11 PM

I feel like writing every time I am in distress which is almost constantly. Its EXACTLY like when I had my major anxiety problem because there was actually no break. It was constant, every hour. I do feel like I’m taking my first effective step in getting better about my situation though. But I don’t want to get ahead of myself because it’s only been a few days now that I’ve been applying focus on just a couple of things. Those two things are reminding myself that I’m me as much as possible, and identifying/defusing from thoughts that cause me distress. Whenever I feel ‘bad’, I try to think about what exactly is making me feel this way. Often times it will come down to a thought or belief that may or may not be true but either way is occupying my mental space in an unhelpful way. I’m trying to improve on noticing these thoughts and not letting them get to me so much. I can still feel bad about things as long as I’m not getting too sucked in. 

3:29 PM

At my core I just want someone to share things with. Experiences and feelings. Some to feel open and safe with. Someone who loves me as much as I love them. The yearning is strong.

3:55 PM

The thoughts are coming on strong. Thoughts like: “How did I fuck up everything so bad.” “Can I really move forward.” “What if I lose them.” “I can’t talk to anyone, they’ll hate me.” “I’ll never see improvement.” “My relationships are on the downhill.” “What if I stay lonely today?”

But they are only words. They might be true or untrue. They are just appraisals made by my mind about everything I got going on.

Im always irrationally worried that today will be the last time I talk to my bestie. I’m afraid she will become too aware of how fucked up I am. 

4:48 PM

I’m deep in, trying to defuse from my thoughts. There are just so many. I also have to defuse from the thought that I won’t be able to defuse. Its INSANE. I could use some perspective if only I could find a way to get it right now. I feel like I’m stuck in the past in a place that doesn’t exist. 

For awhile I was hopeful that I could rekindle a friendship with someone I had a falling out with but I think I’m far too late. Its something I let slip away and I’m upset at myself for it. I see old pics and feel sad that they are probably looked at by the other person as something hurtful. I handled everything that happened very poorly, all because I didn’t know how to handle my feelings properly and didn’t have a good grasp on myself. Thats why I’m still afraid now. I’m afraid I’m going to mess everything up again for similar reasons. Things I can’t even see yet. 

10:44 PM

This morning I ate beefaroni with some saltines in it and an applesauce. Kind of a weak breakfast but it was different than usual at least and very convenient. I tried making a stellar cup of coffee with extra sugar but got some coffee grounds in it. I did a warmup off stream and a little bit late. I felt very strongly that I wanted to make something mushy for my bestie. Just a little thing to show her how highly I think of her. I started my stream after that and only went for 1 hour 15 minutes instead of 2 because of how behind schedule I was. Since the commissioner is paying double I could afford to do that. We watched the King Ramsey episode of Courage today. I was also kinda brain dead like I didn’t know how to make non-awkward conversation. After stream I procrastinated a little bit before my workout. It was a pain in the ass setting it up but I got my mic, wireless headphones, and xbox controller configured to play VRchat while I walked. I did stay occupied but unfortunately made no conversation with anyone. I watched Henry’s Kitchen stream on the side. I did 2.5 out of 3 miles on the treadmill and ended early so I could mow the lawn which would also count as my cleaning for the day. Half the lawn is basically fully dead at this point and I don’t know what to do about that. I had a quick shower before making lunch. I made Rice a Roni Pilaf with broccoli, green beans, spinach, onions, and tuna. It wasn’t bad but I didn’t cut the onions very well and I don’t like the texture of pilaf very much. At this point I was starting to get in a bad mood and eventually got around to doing today’s request but I decided not to do project work today. I felt like sulking a little bit instead. Also my eyes hurt. I knew I couldn’t just sulk though and tried to work just a little bit on anything I knew I wanted to do. I played Pony Town and made a little addition to my house. I made the Hopping Homies VRchat group and a stand-in banner. I set up 2 new channels in my server specifically for my art and VR content. Might expand that in the future but this’ll do for now. I watched XQC stream and hopped into his discord server’s VC and actually made some nice little conversation while all watching him together. I kinda trauma dumped but so did the other guy I was talking to. It would be helpful for me to stop saying “im fine” even to strangers when I’m not actually fine. I’m not trying to sympathy farm, just be open and honest about being down because it’s okay that I am. I had a little VR time with the bestie after that and a nice  feelings chat with her. I probably have something to talk about almost every night but I do worry if discussing each other’s sorrows so often could be a bad thing. Thats just my brain talking, I feel as though it is good but on the surface it seems like it could get out of hand. But maybe not. It’s something I’ll figure out by feel. 

I think today it would have been best not to make that sketch, only because I sort of promised I would give less to my bestie because of how it can make her feel like she needs to do more. I made sure I wasn’t doing it out of obligation or anything though, I really wanted to do it. I got satisfaction out of it. I definitely wish I hadn’t of procrastinated as much as I did or shirk my project time. I did do a good job of channeling my energy into doing things afterward though. I popped off around VR time because I really do feel like myself around my friend. I feel at home in a way. It’s one of the few times I know what I want and who I am.

[ofgravitation-moved]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. REPOST.

name. dandi! 

pronouns. she/her!

preference  of  communication.  i meannnn. discord & ims are best! i prefer to keep my discord for people i am super comfy with! so closer mutuals, but the more we talk and interact i am always open to sharing it!

name  of  muse. TOO MANY. but this is an ochako uraraka blog that’s disguised as a multi cause i suck. :3c

rp  experience  /  how  long. i’m 30.. lmao!! i started rping in the roleplay boards on NEOPETS, okay? i don’t even know what year that was!! EIGHTH/NINTH GRADE DANDI???  soooo like-- fuck. i graduated high school in 2010 so like 2007/2008 ish? sure, let’s go with that. i’ve been around the block. rped both on tumblr and off. & i have a bachelors in english literature aka a fancy $40K paper that says i can write. 

best  experience. oh shiiit. i mean.. there really have been a lot over the years! i have friends i’ve met irl from rp when they came to the east coast! i’ve been in fandoms where it was just such a sweet and family vibe until some sort of choas always ensued, but the happy times in the inuyasha rpc or rwby & fairy tail rpcs here was fun. honestly?? now? i feel like there at times will always be some kinda drama on the dash, tbh. but the friends i’ve made / have now at this point in my life? i am just having a great time! :)

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers. i mean drama, negativity, sure. but-- constant pestering is kinda big for me. i work on an average of about 46 hours a week. and my job can be stressful. i am SLOW with messages on discord and responses/asks/replies. so, constant asking for threads / asks does get under my skin because then rp feels like it’s part of my job & it’s not. this is a way for me to de-stress & relax, so please don’t be that guy :tm: i’ll get to it when i can. i think another that also tends to bother me is i’ve told you once, i shouldn’t have to say it again. & that’s irl too. like if you know the answer, why ask again? idk-- and i digress. jsadhfb;l

fluff,  angst,  or  smut. fluff & angst more than the nasty. & obviously the nasty is with of age muses only, but that just needs a whole level of comfort from me that i will not have with each mun when we just start writing. i mean that goes for all shippy things and such, like the chemistry has to be there for me. but, i’d need to be comfortable with the mun too. & the nasty is like super rare so i don’t even know why i’ve typed all this on it, oops.

plots  or  memes. honestly, i like both!! sometimes with multiple muses (which i have, have you seen my gdoc?! who am i-- ajskdnbf) it’s just easier to plot! because then i have something to look forwards to with a lot of different characters, plus it gives me more ideas when doing starters / asks. but winging it? hey, sometimes that’s the best way!

long  or  short  replies.  sdflgjksfd;gl/ if you cannot tell by the size of this freaking thing, idk what to tell you. my replies can get lengthy! esp. if i am super into the thread / character interactions, etc! i mean i do try and post shorter things, but more often than not they tend to be on the longer side. my characters are all over thinkers, sorry lmao. but i always say to my partners not to feel obligated to match if it does get long!

best  time  to  write. god... whenever i have the free time? a lot of times i write asks on mobile at work and then answer them in the ask, but i’ll always mobile tag it and usually only do that with asks i think won’t be turned into threads! other times it’s usually after work or on a weekend if i have some free time there. 

are  you  like  your  muse. i think we put a little of ourselves into each muse we write, i know i do, for sure. but the muses that are probably most similar to me would beee: lucy heartfilia & ochako uraraka. :3

tagged by. @knightinsourarmor - thanks reina!!! <3

tagging. anyone who hasn’t done this yet & wants too! tw: long post

[mylilworldinthiscorner]

so honestly. im not feeling the greatest rn. so im gonna journal and im gonna do my best. considering i left my own damn journal at home i have to do it on my phone lmao.

there’s a lot i want to change obviously, but i’ve finally began feeling more “real”. i’ve been feeling more authentic. more real. more genuine. i’ve been feeling so many feelings and it’s kinda scary. i’ve been feeling so many different feelings, but ultimately, im just trying to feel okay.

im gonna try my hardest to make this a good decent day. i came here because…

well… i don’t know. i wanna feel proud of myself though and i will do so.

i felt like awful dog shit and there’s a couple things i wanna do today. i wanna get some sleep tonight, so ill try and create a schedule for the rest of the day starting from right now so that i can sleep fine enough tonight. and i want to start taking control of my days in general so i don’t end up feeling so lost like this in the middle of the day and starting “losing it” lmao cause thats when i start doing things i don’t necessarily feel happy about, just to distract myself really.

taking control of my day will probably help me. so

for this next week.

i can wake up everyday at 6am ideally. which means i need to sleep by… 10pm? oh lord that’s hard lmaoo.

how about maybe let’s try to be asleep by midnight so i can wake up at 8 that might be more doable 😭 which kinda sucks because i wanted to wake up at 8am to be alone and in the dark or whatever. but hey thats fine. i can try to adjust that as i go. i guess the goal for tonight is to get enough sleep and wake up early. and all of this id like for it to be actually sustainable. im getting a bit overwhelmed now. look i just wake up earlier so i’ll do my best to fall asleep earlier tonight. i’ll try to be asleep by like midnight tonight which means begin a nighttime routine by 11pm.

im getting a bit overwhelmed rn even as im writing this. hmm.

if i wanna be asleep by 12am. do a night time routine tonight.

just be all comfy around 11 pm

stay here till like 3pm

next meal 3:30 pm

(take supplement)

eat last meal around 9pm

(do my tasks around this time or just do netflix or comfy time or journal time whatever you want!!!)

sleep by like 12am hopefully without m***********. (nah im not gonna do x im just gonna try to sleep and wake up early!)

for now, i’ll do the things i wanted to do to just make my over thinking at home a bit easier.

i have a 100$ budget total. i want new pants, haircut, and bird toys. a cage ideally but thats not in the budget rn.

so for now i’ll prioritize bird toys and my hair. so i’ll look for the toys rn as an examples of prices, and some hair salons and consider prices, skill level for what i want, and availability. great. i’ll start off with the bird toys and create a list of potential options. then i’ll move on to hair places and decide on one at home then get my hair cut soon!!! (or whenever i want to). this is just to make my life easier to feel a bit more at ease with myself and these changes to myself i guess…

it feels like cheating but hey i am doing my best. and i don’t need to act on these things and i can change them if i want to. growth is the goal right? the goal is to just move forward and feel a little better so im doing my best to take control and get it handled cause i know that i can. and i’ll obviously feel a bit better when i go home. it’s just pre planning for when i go home and actually take action yanno? alright here goes. todays gonna be a good day and im gonna fall asleep at a decent time that i want to. and i’ll wake up tomorrow when i want to. and i’ll act on action. i am in full fucking control and i am powerful and awesome and based.

[theauthorunicorn]

In the Bleak Midspring | Steve Harrington (Part 2)

Summary: Spring break comes and the thought of catching up with your boyfriend in Hawkins may include saving the world and heart break.

Read Part 1 of In the Bleak Midspring here.

Read Part 3 of In the Bleak Midspring here.

May contain ST4 Vol 2 spoiler. Read at you’re own risk. 

You’ve been warned.

a/n: I’ve received so many good feedback and has been asking to write part which a truly intend doing so. anyway, let’s just pretend vol 2 heartbreaks did not happen. okay? :)

I tried to ignore what just happened and made my way on the RV as if nothing happens and I made sure that I am literally feet away from Steve Harrington.

Max asked me if I was okay and I just tell her that I am going to be okay what we need to do and focus right now is to defeat One and help her survive this. She told me again about how, "boys sucks" and "you didn't need him Y/N you can fight for yourself" and also how sorry she was about the attitude Steve had earlier.

"You don't need to be sorry for him," I said as climbed to the RV with spear in my hand.

"He might be just stressed out but he did raise his voice Y/N that's the thing I find unacceptable. Because who give him the right to shout at you." Max continues to reason out, "But are you gonna break up with him and like move to New York literally?"

"Hey, even we broke up doesn't mean I'll forget you Max and even with those nasty dingus," Max and I laughed, "I'll still get to visit you here or I can fly you out to New York."

"We didn't break up Max just to be clear." Steve interrupted and as he tries to look for something.

I backed away as soon as he entered the RV and made my way to the end and tried to settle myself.

"Harrington, what the hell are you looking for?" Eddie said as he pushed Steve on the side to make his way to where am I seated.

"Probably keys?" Dustin joked, "Or he'll say sorry to Y/N."

"Really Henderson?" "For real Dustin?" Steve and I said in unison.

"Damn Eddie, look at that still their brains still work the same. Though I can say Y/N is still far better than Steve." Dustin added as he force his way on the window side making me like a spread over a sandwich with Eddie on my left.

Steve just glared at him like a mom telling her son to shut up. "Okay, that was just a joke Steve to relieve the tension over your lovers quarrel, isn't that right Y/N?"

I just rolled my eyes and Steve stood still as his gaze never left mine.

------------------------------------------------------

We dropped Max and the Sinclair's at the Creel's house.

I followed Max as she exited the RV. I removed her headphones, "Be careful and don't let him take over your memory. Whatever happened happens. Don't blame yourself over the things we can't control."

Max nodded, "You too, Y/N. Be careful. I'll see you after this."

------------------------------------------------------

I stayed still between Eddie and Dustin when Eddie started talking, "You know I think he's just upset that you preferred to be in our group instead of his. But kinda eh -" he gestures his hand, "to say those things."

"I know, I just don't want to be with him especially when we're about to go to an alternate Hawkins."

"But he really loves you, you know. Just don't look forward but he's been checking the rear view mirror every now and then checking if you're okay or not." Eddie stated as he fixes his spear.

I chuckled, "I don't know about that Eds, but when you're talking about your future to your ex it doesn't sound convincing as you wanted it to be."

"What do you mean by that, Y/N?" That grabbed Dustin's attention as he dropped his spear and make shift nailed shield. He cupped my face, "Y/N, tell me!" He said almost shouting.

That immediately grabbed the attention of Robin, Nancy and especially Steve, "Hey guys, are you okay back there?" Steve inquired as he looked over the rear view mirror.

"Yeah, what do you mean about that Y/N?" Eddie questioned as his posture shifted to me.

"Are you guys okay?" Robin said in a slow word by word as she stood up and made her way to the back of the RV.

"Halt Buckley, halt. That's an order." Eddie ordered.

"You guys are not funny anymore." Steve said in a worried tone as he faces us. His eyes met mine. "Eyes on the road, Harrington. We still got couple of miles to our destination."

He sighed in defeat but followed my request, "You can just say, "Eyes on the road, Steve." I'm not asking for any sort of endearment like babe, love or what but using my last name. Kinda harsh." He mumbled.

"You were kinda harsh to her earlier Steve. So, just understand the sentiment." Robin commented as she patted his shoulder.

"So what happened?" Eddie inquired in a whisper.

------------------------------------------------------

We arrived at Trailer Park and walked toward Eddie's trailer.

"You know he's all might and glory about how he bought you to the Skull Island and kept arguing about me about the location, he keep saying, "I make this make out spot popular." Or some shit like, "I had Y/N over here for a couple of times." It was so annoying." Dustin said dramatically as we walk to Eddie's trailer.

"But they found me, I guess he did brought you there a couple of times Y/N. Huh?" Eddie smacked my shoulder lightly.

"Yeah, the tales were out and about when we rescue Eddie there Y/N. Like Steve we're like, "This is the right direction" or shit but my man still delivers us to Skull Rock." Robin added.

I tried to reminisce about those times but I was clouded by with my thoughts again. "I don't know about that, haven't been there." I lied I'm just trying to pass whatever pain Steve gave me today.

The group fell silence for a moment, "Okay, enough of that. Let's just finish this." Said Nancy as we entered Eddie's home.

I saw the gate and it was small enough compared to what we have encountered before, "Yeah, it's like a snack size than the other gate that I saw." I murmured as I looked up.

"Right? It's a snack size but you kept laughing when I describe it to you." Steve said as he stand next to me. I looked at him for a second or two before walking over to Dustin and Eddie.

"You could have just said sorry, Steve." Robin whispered to him, "Shut it Robin," he looked at me, "I'll go first." Steve climbed the rope.

"Next?" Robin asked. Eddie pushed me to the rope, "Okay, Y/N is next."

I climbed the rope as Eddie supported me. It's so fucking weird to be upside down. But before I let go Steve gave me this look that assured me that everything will be fine. I dropped my back to the matters and landed safely.

"Oof." I closed my eyes as I fall. Steve offered his hand to help me up but I choose to roll over to the opposite side and get back with my feet on my own.

"Hey, are you okay?" He walks towards me but I back off every step he takes.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"We'll give you three minutes max to talk whatever shit happened today, Steve and Y/N and it starts now." Dustin shouted over the other dimension.

"We don't need it, just make your way -" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

"Thanks man." Steve answered. "Hey, stop backing away from me, I'm not gonna hurt you." He tried to reach me but I secured and crossed my arms into my chest.

"What do you want?"

"Talk."

"About?" I asked

"About us." He said.

"What about us?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Can you just please stop backing away from me?" He requested, I stopped, "Thank you."

I rolled my eyes, "We're just wasting mere seconds here, Harrington,"

"It's Steve." He corrected me.

"Max needs our help just let them go here so that this shit will be done."

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. About earlier especially raising my voice, I know how much you hated it but I'm so stressed and tired which is not a valid excuse about what I've done and I'm also sorry about the things that make you feel like this, I don't know what is it but I'm really really so so sorry about it. I just want you to be my side when I fight this monster because it'll give me peace and assurance that you're okay because if it's there anything that will happen to you I don't know what will I do, heck, even explain to your parents what happened why I failed to protect you. It's not about protecting Hawkins Y/N, it's all about you. If you tell me this time at this moment to back away about this stupid mission I'll do it as long as you come home with me. I guess, I'm just scared about losing you -"

"Why would you be scared about losing me Steve? If you look at Nancy's eyes" I said in a whisper, "about the future you've been dreaming about with hope lingering in your eyes. Why would you be scared, Steve? If I'm not in the future you've been dreaming all along."

He shook his head, "What do you mean future with Nance, I never did."

"Really, you forgot again, do I need to remind you every single important things Steve? Huh? Okay fine, when we were en route to War Zone you're talking about your future family to her, Steve. I listened to every single bit of it and almost laughed hysterically about how you like having six little Harrington's and you specifically said three girls and three boys," I chuckled, "I imagine that is us, that it'll be me in that distant future."

Steve interrupted me, "It is you. It's you Y/N! Why would you think it'll be Nance-"

"Because the way you look at her Steve. It's felt like and is her all along." I cried, "Do you know how it shattered my heart into pieces, huh. I'm so broken right now that I am fucking crying over you. Fuck!" I cursed, "I regretted the time that we ate together under that sycamore tree, Steve. Because I was all over you, I erased you in my mind but you gave me a reason to give you another chance and let you in my life and you know how much I love you, right?" Steve nodded his head, "That I took all my extra hours working on extra shifts so that I could fly and see you now and what you returned is a heartbreak that made me hate Hawkins as much as I loved it."

"It's not what you think is it Y/N. Love, it is you all along. All these days it was you and I decided it as well when you said that you love me back. It is you -"

Steve stopped as we hear a loud thud, "Oh, I'm so sorry to ruin the moment but three minutes is up." Said Eddie as he lay on the mattress.

I wiped my face and it's now swollen after all this crying, Steve followed my tracks. I offered my hand to Eddie, "Hey are you, okay?" He looked at Steve, "Man, this shit is not so cool anymore. You're making your girl cry."

"Eddie, just shut it okay." I told him.

"Nah, this is not cool anymore, last time I saw you cry is when he didn't pick you up and it was raining hard and you said that he might just forget it or had some shit with his parents. She waited 3 hours that day Harrington, I started my D&D campaign I saw her outside the gym then I finished my campaign she's still there shivering." He shook his head and Steve had this confusion drawn to his face, "And mind you, you're already his man this time because I saw you two holding hands like sick lovers in the hallway."

"Hey, just stop it." I faced Eddie.

"I don't know what shit you did now but you better straighten it up. I'll hold on to Y/N from now until you get your shit together." Eddie said.

------------------------------------------------------

After that tension Eddie came back as what he was matching Dustin's energy.

"Are you sure you don't want to be in Steve's party Y/N?" Robin asked, "Because I thought rabies is not as bad as Vecna."

I laughed, "No, it's okay. I can deal with rabies instead."

"I'll protect her Buckley. You don't need to worry about that," I Eddie assured her, "first came Y/N then Henderson then me."

"Okay." Robin said. She ran towards me and hugged me, "Whatever is happening between you and that dingus just don't worry about it now. I'll make sure to keep him safe so that I can knock him out so that he'll have some senses after this."

I rested my neck on her shoulder, "Thanks Rob."

Then, Vecna troop marched to his lair but Steve stopped and turned his back to us, "Whatever happens if shit is about to go down, we abort okay." We nodded in unison, "Don't try to be cute or be a hero or something. Okay, you guys are just .."

"Don't worry about it Harrington, we'll not do that and I'll keep your girl safe as well." Eddie answered.

"Thank you man." Steve said. He looked at me this time, "I love you."

"I love you too, Steve." Henderson answered, "Wait," he pulled me and Eddie, "Steve said, don't be cute, hero or something. I think the cute part is for Y/N,"

"I agree." Eddie inserted.

"Hero is you Eddie. And I'm something." Dustin finishes.

"And what something is, tell me?" I asked, "Oh, Y/N that is being cute and hero at the same time."

We laughed and started to work as I hear Robin's voice, "Don't be gloomy dingus," he hugged Steve, "that hug is from Y/N." She laughed. "How is this her hug?" Steve asked, "Because I hug her and I hug you so technically you hugged each other too."

------------------------------------------------------

a/n: lil angst and protective Eddie too ♥️ unto part 3?

tags  ♥️ | @bethii1 @jadeilena @thehybridprincesshatedchild @roxalya19 @tamaraudvardy @cheezybread @fixtionlover @lettyshush @babygirlwilly​ @thefandomplace​ @nanainwonderland​ @tiaamberxx​ 

[frogtanii]

these transcripts are protected by doctor-client privilege and hippa laws and should only be accessed by the verified person(s). please call xxx-xxxx if you are in fear of those laws being violated.

————————————————————————

[dr otsuaka]: hello, [redacted]! it’s so great to hear from you again! last we met, things were on track with your recovery — has that changed at all?

[patient 86]: clears throat um, not really. things are weird, that’s all.

[dr o]: weird how?

[86]: ...

[dr o]: does this have something to do with your roommate, [redacted]?

[86]: nods

[dr o]: does this also deal with you working through your feelings for her?

[86]: she... she doesn’t like me like that. i’m not like... like [redacted].

[dr o]: now, what did we say about negative self talk and comparisons to others?

[86]: ...not to do it.

[dr o]: i know it isn’t easy but you are not [redacted] or [redacted] for a reason. you are you and that doesn’t make you less than! it just makes you different.

[86]: smiles ... she said something like that to me once.

[dr o]: she sounds like a smart girl. you should listen to her.

[86]: ...yeah.

————————————————————————

[patient 12]: —and then she just, punches the air, wham! and it was so intense and i’m pretty sure i’ve never been more turned on in my life because, god doc you should’ve seen her. i know you’re like 50 and gay but.. damn.

[doctor fujiwara]: laughs you are quite the character [redacted].

[12]: i try.

[dr f]: well, it seems as though this girl has become quite the fixture in your life.

[12]: i mean.. yeah. she saved me.

[dr f]: hm... don’t you think you are.. idolizing her a bit? placing her on an unattainable pedestal which sets her up for failure in your eyes? you’ve placed quite a bit of weight on [redacted].

[12]: ... no, no she’s helped me through so much but i don’t, she’s not my idol or anything.

[dr f]: are you sure? you place much of the credit for your recovery on her. is that fair to her, to feel entirely responsible for your health and well-being?

[12]: ...

[dr f]: just think about it, hm? now, tell me again about this ferret you were thinking of purchasing?

————————————————————————

[dr otsuaka]: ... and how did that make you feel?

[patient 88]: ... you couldn’t sound more cliche if you tried.

[dr o]: laughs nothing gets quite past you [redacted].

[88]: you say that as though it is a bad thing.

[dr o]: trust me it isn’t. but on that note, tell me some things you’ve observed this week.

[88]: ...she isn’t eating as much. i think the stress is getting to her.

[dr o]: is it not getting to you as well?

[88]: ...it isn’t about me.

[dr o]: this is your therapy session [redacted], it quite literally is about you. ...have you been neglecting yourself in favor of taking care of her?

[88]: we’re drifting and i do not want to lose her. she has [redacted] and it doesn’t seem like... like she has use of me anymore.

[dr o]: [redacted]... you are not an object to be used. no one can decide if you are “of use” or not — you need to take care of yourself so that when you are up to it, when you are healed and ready, you can take care of the others around you. she is a grown woman and as much as you care for her, she can take care of herself. it is time for you to focus on you.

[88]: ... i don’t know how to do that.

[dr o]: smiles well, that is what i’m here for.

————————————————————————

[dr barnes]: ah welcome, [redacted]! it’s so great to meet you! dr otsuaka speaks of you highly!

[patient 4]: wow! you’re so big! your biceps are as big as my head!!

[dr b]: laughs i do enjoy my time at the gym! please sit, sit!

[4]: thank you for seeing me dr barnes!

[dr b]: no, it’s really my pleasure! when dr otsuaka needed to clear out her client list, i leaped at the opportunity to take some of you on.

[4]: yeah, she told me something like that. i’m just happy i still have a therapist! it would really suck if all my progress went out the window.

[dr b]: oh yes, i have some of your charts here... shuffles papers looks like you suffer from... separation anxiety and ptsd?

[4]: yep, but it hasn’t gotten me down yet!

[dr b]: that’s great [redacted]. i’m looking forward to seeing the progress we can make with one another!

[4]: aw, thanks dr b! you’re so cool!

[dr b]: that’s all you bud, all you. so, what do you think of starting from the beginning?

[4]: well, it all started when my mom met my dad and they fell in love and had se—

————————————————————————

[dr yamada]: wow, hi [redacted]! it’s been so long since we’ve last spoken. high school, was it?

[patient 7]: um, yeah.

[dr y]: so, what brings you back here to see me? do you need a refill on your meds?

[7]: ...maybe.

[dr y]: [redacted]... are you alright?

[7]: bursts into tears no.. oh god no..

[dr y]: that bad, huh?

[7]: yeah.. yeah, it’s that bad.

[dr y]: is it [redacted]?

[7]: sniffles oh, no not him. actually, his girlfriend? she’s back.

[dr y]: oh god..

[7]: yeah.. laughs dryly

[dr y]: well, it’s a good thing you’re here then. do you remember your affirmations?

[7]: how could i forget? i am loved—

[dr y]: in unison —i am deserving of love—

[7]: —and i will love in return. wow, it’s been a minute.

[dr y]: and still, it stuck. yet another example of my incredible teachings.

[7]: just as insufferable as always, dr yamada.

[dr y]: and just as guarded as usual, [redacted]. am i going to have to pry the information out of you this time around?

[7]: nah... i think... i think i really need to talk about it.

[dr y]: good. i am here to listen.

℗ poker face

intermission

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - kekeke a new funky short filler chapter comin up for y’all!!! i’ve done therapy transcripts once before so i kinda wanted to try again??? provide a splash of insight for the hotties who r going to therapy in pf!! and even tho i think i made it kinda obvious, i wanna see y’all guess whomst is whom!!! also this is considerably lower quality than i intended KSJ but we will get back to our regularly scheduled (read: better) writing tomorrow KEJEK anyways fat thanks to my wife ghostie (who i cant tag rip) for helping me out!!! don’t forget to feed me!!! <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[quindolyn]

Hiiii i heard a headcannon that james potter would love shower sex and i was wondering wether you could write something like that? No specific’s do whatever you want with it just sex in the shower ;)

 You in Here? || James Potter

Word Count: 2268

A/N: I hate this perhaps more than anything I’ve ever written but I need to write if only to remind myself that I still can because sidofhdfwqifbr. I feel like I haven’t been productive in weeks and posting is gonna hopefully help me with that. I’ve hated other things I’ve posted as well and y’all seemed to react positively to those so who the hell knows.

Warnings: Degradation, daddy kink, kinda proof read, little bit of exhibitionism 

Masterlist

“Jamie,” You called out, your voice echoing as it bounced back off the tiled walls of the Quidditch showers. 

You hadn’t been able to grab James after the Quidditch game, where he’d led him and his team to victory, before he had headed off towards the locker room, being stopped by Dobson who was subbing in as keeper for the game. The team’s usual keeper in the hospital wing with a bad case of blood poisoning he’d contracted from an unfortunate Care of Magical Creatures lesson. 

You’d never really given much thought to the boy as he was a year below you and you didn’t much run in the same circles but neither of those facts seemed to discourage him as he pulled you aside after the game.

His desperate and frankly pathetic attempts to flirt with you, the team captain’s girlfriend, had stalled you too long apparently as by the time you’d managed to break free of his bad pickup lines and clumsy winks James was nowhere in sight and Sirius had to direct you towards the showers where he’d seen him disappear into. 

And now stumbling around the locker room looking for your boyfriend you followed the sound of running water to the back corner of the showers.

“There you are,” You murmured as his dripping form came into view. Blocked by a sheet of warped glass all you could make out of his figure was the outline of his strong physique as he twisted and turned to let the water wash over his ridiculously toned body.

“James?” Your voice lilted up in a question as you wrapped your knuckles against the glass of the door.

“(Y/N/N)? What are you doing in here?” He asked, his voice rough which you assumed was from screaming over the roaring wind to communicate with his teammates. 

What you hadn’t noticed before escaping James’ subordinate was the aforementioned boy lurking a few feet away, jaw clenched, the vein in his forehead pulsing as he glared down the boy who seemed to have abandoned all of his inhibitions.

Though you had missed him, James most certainly hadn’t missed you and heading off to the showers he’d hoped that a hot shower would soothe the possessiveness bubbling up in his stomach but it had not had the desired effect. 

“Came looking for you Jamesie,” You explained, “Wanted to congratulate you,” A sly smirk tugged at the corners of your lips, painted a brilliant red as you began shedding the numerous layers of clothing you’d been bundled up in to shield yourself from the biting wind.

“Why don’t you congratulate that Dobson kid?” The edge to James’ voice was impossible to miss.

You frowned as you reached around your now nearly bare torso, having made quick work of your top layers, to unclasp your bra, shrugging it off of your shoulders to let it fall to the ground. Left in only your panties you spared a glance over your shoulder before abandoning those as well and opening the door to the shower.

Even after all this time you still had to stop your jaw from dropping whenever you saw James’ body, the defined muscles of his abs, the way they shifted in his back as he reached for things and just went about with his daily business.

His legs. Those fucking legs.

And don’t even get you started on his arms because you could go on and on for hours about them, about every part of him quite frankly.

You stood dumbstruck outside the shower cubicle before James pulled you in by your arm before someone walked in and saw you naked. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The boy growled, towering over you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you tucked into his strong chest. You could feel his half hard cock pressing against your stomach as one hand drifted to your ass, squeezing it to the point of pain before releasing and smacking the afflicted area with the palm of his hand. The burning hot water didn’t help either with the pain as it washed over your backside, amplifying the sting from your boyfriend’s harsh touch.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked incredulously, having no clue what he was talking about. “That hurt.”

“Good,” He responded curtly, returning his tight hold on the supple flesh of your bottom, squeezing even more harshly than before, no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingers. 

“S’ what you deserve after teasing me like that with that fucking prat, and then right now, standing naked in the middle of the locker room, anyone could’ve walked in at any point and seen your arse.”

“No one was gonna just-”

You were cut off by his fingers meeting the side of your face more harshly than you anticipated.

“Ow,” You squeaked, “Was that necessary?”

Growing more and more frustrated James pushed his index and middle finger past your slightly parted lips, shoving his long fingers further and further until the tips of his rough, calloused digits bumped the back of your throat and had you struggling to breathe as he triggered your gag reflex.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” He grumbled, catching your wrist with his hand before you were able to grab at the wrist of the hand gagging you, “First flirting with that little prick and now talking back to me, who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your response was garbled as you tried to speak around his fingers, but no matter what you were trying to say it was muffled even more as he pushed his fingers even further down your throat. 

A sick smile grazed his face as you gagged violently, tears slipping from your tear ducts and rolling down your face in twin rivers, collecting in pools at the curve of your jaw.

“Oh don’t cry baby,” He cooed mockingly, pulling his fingers from your mouth, allowing you to take deep gulps of air as he moved his hands to cup your jaw, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

One hand trailed from your face, down your torso, pausing at your tit to take the nipple between his fingers, pinching harshly and pulling a strangled gasp from your lips as the action sent pleasure mixed with a healthy amount of pain zipping up your spine. 

Eventually finding his way to your pussy James ran his index finger through your sopping folds, smiling cavalierly at the pool of slick he found there.

“Fucking pathetic,” He muttered, staring at his finger as it teased your cunt, “You got off on that?” He asked, lifting his visage to meet yours, “You got off on Daddy fucking choking you with his fingers?”

After a beat of held eye contact, you realized that it wasn’t a rhetorical question and that the man in front of you expected an answer. 

“Yes, Daddy.” 

Satisfied with your response James’ gaze dropped back to your pussy where he was now lifting up your clitoral hood, exposing your sensitive bundle of nerves to his touch.

“What was that you said about congratulating me slut?” He asked, harshly pinching your clit between his thumb and forefinger, smirking as you whimpered and brought your hand up to clasp his bicep, supporting yourself as you felt your knees weakening. 

The pleasure he could bring you from just his fingers was enough to have you in a puddle by his feet, clawing at his ankles and begging for more.

“Think as a reward I’d like to mark you up, show everyone how much of a desperate whore my baby is. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes Daddy, wanna be your slut.”

“My whore,” He corrected.

“Your whore.”

At your agreement James latched his lips onto the side of your neck, sucking vicious hues of purple and blue into the delicate skin that resided there.

“Fuck,” You swore, tipping your head back so that he could have even better access to your skin.

A pathetic whine slipped from your trembling lips as James pulled away from your neck, instead attaching them to yours, delicately brushing his against your own. As you tried to lean forward, wanting to deepen the kiss you felt James’ hand bury itself in your damp hair, gripping tightly at the root, using his hold to keep your head in place as he pulled back.

“No swearing pretty girl,” He murmured as his lips brushed yours ever so lightly against yours, “Pretty babies don’t swear, yeah?” 

He peppered kisses across your lips as you nodded your agreement, tickling your skin before finally deepening the kiss as you so desperately wanted. You savored the taste of his lips as his tongue delved into your mouth, exploring the warm expanse before mingling his tongue with yours. 

You were no match for his aggression as he dominated your tongue pulling a moan from the depths of your belly where you felt a know tightening as the slick between your legs continued to collect in a pool of your own arousal.

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel,” James promised, crouching to loop his arms underneath your thighs, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist, and moving to support your bum as he backed you into the wall, using that to help support your weight. 

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel when you’re mine.”

“Please Daddy,” You begged, pleading eyes looking up at him as you pushed your bottom lip out in a pathetic display of your submission, “Want your cock please.”

It was funny really, how quickly you went from feisty to his submissive slut. And you didn’t even have his cock yet.

Your begging spurring James on, he didn’t bother restraining himself any longer and instead pushed his cock into your warm, pulsing pussy.

A cry tore its way through your throat as he didn’t even bother to ease his way in, not wanting to wait another second, just wanting to be inside of you.

“Shh,” He hissed, clasping a strong hand over your mouth, hanging wide open as you barely had control over yourself to keep your eyes open, much less make the conscious effort to keep your mouth closed in order to keep in the moans and whimpers that shamelessly tumbled from your agape mouth.

James’ pace was relentless as he thrusted in and out of you, watching as his cock appeared then disappeared as he moved in and out of your cunt, your pussy squeezing him to an almost painful degree.

“So fucking pretty,” He swore, palming your tits with his strong hands, leaving your nipples hard as he pinched them again, just as he did earlier, watching the look on your face as he twisted them to the point of pain. 

You snapped your mouth shut so that you wouldn’t let out a curse, not wanting to disobey Jamie. 

“Mine, all mine,” Jamie grumbled as he let go of your boobs, preferring to watch them bounce as he sped up his thrusts, the spongy tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot, pulling a strangled sigh from you as you lost more and more of yourself in pleasure.

“All yours Daddy,” You agreed, leaning your head up against the cold tile of the shower wall as you focused on the pleasure James was bringing you with every deep thrust. 

“That’s right slut,” James said, remembering his earlier frustration, “If s’all mine, all f’me then what the hell are you doing talking to that little dick?”

His hard gaze met yours and though they were swimming with lust it did nothing to dilute the seriousness they held, making it clear to you that he expected an answer.

“Didn’t mean to Daddy, didn’t mean to be naughty,” You explained, hoping that he would realize that you really had had no mal intent in speaking with the boy, you just hadn’t wanted to be rude.

Seemingly paying your response no mind James attached his lips to your collar bone, laving his tongue over it before retracing his steps and sucking marks that matched the ones he’d previously left on your neck. 

As he worked to paint your skin in rich hues he lifted your hips so that he could reach even further depths inside of you, sheathing himself completely inside of you before pulling back out, all while moving his fingers to your clit, where they had once previously resided. 

The combined stimulation of him so deep inside of you and his strong fingers on your clit had the knot in your belly tightening as the stimulation on your clit sent tendrils of pleasure shooting up your back.

It was all too much, the overwhelming stimulation from his cock combined with his fingers pinching and rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves between the pads of his fingers, and the steady streams of scalding water warming your skin almost had you forgetting to ask to cum as you felt the pleasure boiling up in the depths of your tummy. 

“D-Daddy may I-”

You were cut off by the sound of the locker room door slamming open quickly followed by the rumbling of voices.

“Potter!” One of them called out, “You in here?”

Recognizing the voice as that belonging to none other than the very boy who had landed you in your small predicament you studied James’ face, with wide piteous eyes as the sound of footsteps slapping against the tile floor approached your little enclave.

James smiled deviously at you before responding, “Yeah, we’re back here.”

tagging:@randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @pinkandblueblurbs @st0nesnglitter @thatvenusbabe @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @temporaryissue @gubleryum @msmb r @miraclesoflove @velmasteas @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders

[ptergwen]

hi val can you maybe write something about the reader being dared to kiss peter/tom/arvin (you choose) since her friends knew that she has a big crush on him, but once she did he seems disinterested after which makes her sad, but what she doesn't know was after she kissed him, he practically runs to his friends freaking out that the girl he's had his eyes on this whole time just kissed him??

kiss and tell

w/c: 1.8k

warnings: like one swear and awkwardness

a/n: yeeee i went with peter! this is adorable :,)

“i can’t!” you scold betty and her annoying smirk. you’re bored at lunch, so liz suggested the three of you play truth or dare. you’d made the mistake of choosing dare. in your defense, betty is the nosiest person in all of midtown, so you thought you were dodging the bullet and guarding your deep dark secrets. how could you have known she’d make you do... this?

“that’s so, like, forward. he’s gonna freak out.” you glance over at peter’s table to see what he’s up to before you possibly scar him. he’s laughing along at a heated conversation ned and mj are having. the way his face lights up, and his eyes crinkle as a smile crosses his features, it gives you butterflies throughout your whole body.

“in a good way,” liz grins her most charming grin at you. it’s not working this time. you roll your eyes up to the ceiling. “i thought you liked him,” betty huffs, gesturing over to peter and keeping her eyes on you. “all you do is talk about how he’s so cute and smart, and his lips look so soft-“ “i never said that!” you look at her with wild eyes. liz bites her lip to hold in a laugh. “the last part, i mean,” you clarify in a murmur.

liz puts a hand on you and pats your shoulder knowingly. “you’ve probably thought it, though. i’ve seen you checking them out.” there have been quite a few times your gaze has landed on peter’s lips, watching them curve while he talks to you about some new science theory he’s excited to share. you end up zoning out and pretending you retained any of what he said. betty puckers her own lips at you.

“you wanna kiss him,” she insists in a sing song voice, resting her chin on your other shoulder. “i’m doing you a favor.” “you’re really not gonna change the dare?” you sigh, your friends leaning on you in support. liz taps your cheek. “so, you don’t wanna kiss him?” “there’s no way,” betty comments from your side. “no, i...” you start, focusing in on peter again.

he meets your eyes across the cafeteria. his smile fades slightly, then a shy one is replacing it, ned dragging him into his and mj’s debate. you turn back to liz and betty.

“i do, but do you think he wants me to?” you ask them both, and they share a you have to be kidding look. “only one way to find out.” liz gives your shoulder a nudge. betty beams at you. “i triple dog dare you now, so you have to.” considering your options, you bounce your leg up and down. you’ll either get the nicest rejection ever from peter or a kiss back. you can handle this.

“ok, i’ll do it,” you decide, betty clapping her hands and squealing. liz throws an arm around your neck. “yay! i love love.” “let’s calm down,” you giggle so she doesn’t get too carried away. you and peter haven’t even established that you like each other. “i’m calm, i’m calm. do you need to borrow chapstick?” she offers, betty simultaneously pulling a tube out of her purse. “or lip gloss?”

you’re appreciating their over involvement now.

“both,” you breathe out, letting them get you ready for your big kiss.

liz and betty send you good luck wishes in a hushed tone while you make your way to peter’s table. mj went to get a snapple, and ned went with her so they could continue whatever argument they’re in. that left peter by himself. it’s almost like this is meant to happen.

“hi,” you greet peter, making him look up at you with raised eyebrows. he notices right away that your lips are shiny, more so than usual. a color that you always seem to bring to his face takes over his cheeks. “hey. you wanna sit?” he gives you a small smile. you return it. “yeah, sure. thanks.” instead of taking the bench across from him like he assumed you would, you find your place next to him.

he doesn’t mind.

“how’s your day been?” you wonder, body turned towards him while he answers. peter scrunches his nose. “kinda busy. i got so much homework in spanish tonight, and i’ve been putting off this essay about...” you do the thing you do every time he goes off on a sort of tangent, watch his lips. lucky for you, that’s the whole point today. “i don’t know. all i have so far is the intro-“

you cut peter off with a kiss. liz and betty cheer to each other the second it happens. peter doesn’t move, only freezes up as you press your glossy lips to his and grab his shoulders. it takes a few seconds for you to realize he’s not kissing back. his arms are stiff at his sides, eyes wide in shock. absolutely humiliated, you pull back, moving as far away as you can.

“fuck, i’m sorry. i should’ve asked you first,” you apologize, voice shaking. you’re already getting to your feet. peter blinks a few times, grounding himself back in the moment. “no, no. it’s okay. i-“ “that was weird, i know. you don’t have to lie or make me feel better.” he furrows his eyebrows, in a way that seems regretful even though you’re the one who messed up. “i’m trying to tell you, y/n. it’s fine. we-“

ned’s voice fills the room, making you snap your head in his direction. him and mj are coming back. you need to get out of here before you embarrass yourself even more.

“i’m gonna go. i’m sorry,” you mumble out, running back to your table, where liz and betty are instantly asking what’s wrong and if you’re alright. peter licks his lips that are now coated in your gloss and clenches his jaw. he’s pissed. not at you, at himself. it’s clear because mj brings attention to it when she sits down.

“what’s up with your face?” she narrows her eyes at him, popping the cap on her snapple. ned elbows peter in his spot next to him. you were just there less than a minute ago. “you okay, dude?” he checks. “no.” peter closes his eyes in frustration. “what’s wrong?” ned kicks mj’s foot under the table so she’ll stop making out with her drink and help him.

“i... y/n kissed me,” peter admits, sounding oddly upset about something everyone knows he’s been hoping would happen. “she what?” ned gawks. “isn’t that a good thing?” mj points out. “you love her.” “like her,” peter corrects and chews the inside of his cheek. “whatever. shouldn’t you want her to kiss you?” she takes another sip of snapple, passing this off to ned.

“yeah...” is all ned says. he awkwardly rubs peter’s back while mj tries not to snort. “that’s not the problem. i didn’t kiss her back, and she took it as me not being into it,” peter shakes his head as he recounts your weird moment. “which i was,” he tells them for the record. ned makes a funny face at him. “so why didn’t you kiss back?” “no shit she ran away,” mj mutters to him. she saw that part.

“because i wasn’t expecting it!” peter frowns at his friends’ reactions and at what he did. “you guys know how much i like y/n. i can’t believe i screwed this up so bad.” mj squints in mock confusion. “i can.” she quickly drops her sarcasm for encouragement after that. “ok, seriously. just go find her and apologize.” “maybe kiss her this time,” ned chimes in.

“if she really likes you, she’ll get it.” mj smiles genuinely, nodding back at your table. ned gives him a push forward. “you got this, dude. come tell us all about it after.” a rush of confidence enters peter from their advice. he’ll fix this. “thanks, guys. here i go.” he shoots up from the table, ned and mj getting back into their debate once he’s out of sight.

betty is hugging you way too tightly when peter gets over there. she goes on about how much peter sucks, overcompensating because she’s the reason you kissed him. you only hum in response. you don’t have the heart to tell her you blame yourself. only liz notices peter come over, so she talks on your behalf. “oh, hey,” she says drily. “hey. can i talk to y/n?” peter gets out, twiddling with his thumbs nervously.

she has to decide if she’d rather go into protective friend mode or let him. from your unenthusiastic responses to betty’s hate rant, she figures you’d like to hear him out.

“come on, betty,” liz takes her arm suddenly, betty trying to pull it back. “what? why?” “i’m gonna buy you ice cream. let’s go.” that’s her cover. peter shoots her a look that says thank you, liz pressing her lips into a line and dragging betty along. betty sees peter standing in front of your table and glares at him, liz walking faster. you don’t get the chance to ask them where they’re going because they leave so fast.

the bench dips down on one side of you, making someone’s prescense known. you’re surprised to find it’s peter. you talk first.

“if you’re gonna apologize, don’t. it was my fault-“ “you never let me finish earlier,” peter interrupts, the hint of a smile on his face. his clammy hand links with one of yours. “what were you gonna say?” you ask quietly, peter threading your fingers together. your heart is racing at the simple touch. “that i like you,” he replies at the same low volume. “and, that i wanted to try again.”

he’s sitting a lot closer to you than you realized. you welcome it, your hands in between you two on the bench. “i like you too... try what again?” you question, although you hope and pray it’s what you think. “kissing,” peter says what you were hoping and praying for. “wasn’t ready the first time.” you’re about to go into cardiac arrest as he rests his forehead on yours, curls brushing your face. a few broken up breaths escape him.

“can i?” he nearly whispers, warm hand still gripping at yours. “yeah,” you agree before your eyes flutter shut. he wastes no time, parting his lips and brushing them against yours gently, you reciprocating. he kisses as sweetly as he is, his free hand on your cheek and fingers careessing your skin. your other hand ends up on the back of his neck. you grin against him, lips detaching momentarily so you can engage him in another kiss.

peter doesn’t hesitate to kiss back this time, nose nudging yours as he moves in more. you tug on some hair at the nape of his neck and laugh into the kiss, reminding him you’re in school. he pulls back with a chuckle, but keeps his forehead on yours and your hands in each other.

“sorry. got too excited,” he laughs out, you leaning into his open palm. “i told you don’t apologize.”

liz and betty joined ned and mj at some point. the four of them are whistling at you and yelling out suggestive jokes. they’re too much. but, to be fair, you owe this all to them.

[quillquiver]

“Tell me something.”

Cas frowns against Dean’s left pec, eyes looking up at him from where he’s laying his head on Dean’s chest. He feels a hand card through his hair and rub at the base of his skull. He hums into the contact like a cat, closing his eyes in contentment as he feels Dean’s unabashed stare. He rolls off of his chest so they’re nose-to-nose, fingers brushing in the space between them as they lay on their sides.

“About what?” Cas asks.

“Anything,” Dean answers. “Before. When you were an angel.”

An angel. Cas feels his heart seize and his wingless back ache, but forces a playful smile to his lips. “You want to hear about dinosaurs and meteors and great cataclysms,” he teases. “I suppose… the beginning was violent, like breaking a bone again and again until it sets right—”

“No,” Dean cuts him off, fingertips pressed to his mouth. Cas looks at him curiously. “I mean, that’s cool—the beginning,” he says. “And I want to hear about all of that another time, but… you. I—I wanna know about you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Like…” Dean’s fingers move to play with Cas’s own, his cheeks ruddy and red. “Where did you go? What did you see?” He bites his lip, brow furrowed as he forces his gaze up. Cas meets his eyes earnestly. “You pulled me from hell, man, but… I don’t know anything about you before that.”

“And you want to?”

“Well, yeah.” Dean rolls his eyes. “I—wanna know everything.”

His cheeks are so red they’ve droned out his freckles, and Cas can’t stop himself from reaching to run his knuckles over the flushed skin. “I don’t remember a lot of it,” he murmurs. “Some of that is Naomi, I’m sure, but—some is also just being human, I think. I’ve been writing it all down, so I don’t forget.”

“Yeah?”

“I’m older than most types of dirt,” Cas says. “It’s a lot to remember.” He pauses, tracing the line of Dean’s clavicle. “I… wasn’t lying when I said you changed me. And everything that came before, all of it, walking along the primordial beach, pushing mountains from the ground, spending time with all things that swam in the sea and walked upon the earth—it’s like they’re half-memories; empty, but given meaning now that I know to appreciate them. That I know how to put feelings to them.” 

Cas frowns. “Angelic love is—agape. Steadfast. Absolute. Unconditional. But it doesn’t make any allowance for emotion beyond blind devotion. I didn’t love the sunrise because there was nothing to love; that the sun rises is an incontrovertible fact of the universe. The pinks and oranges on the horizon are the result of refracted light, of which I could see all colours named and unnamed. The sun existed, and it rose, and in it was my father, and that was good.”

Cas looks down at his hands. “I think… I think I always had the potential to become—this. To get here.” He shifts, moving to idly play with the hem of the sheet. “You have to understand, Dean: King David, Solomon’s lover, Delilah, Judith, Bathsheba—they are nothing to you. Achilles wished Patroclus was so lovely of face and pure of heart. I remember thinking, strangely, that such radiance was just for the Righteous Man who will bring about Paradise. And yet for all the beauty I’d seen; gods and goddesses, kings and queens and commoners, the loveliness in every far corner of this world, that—you—were the first time I truly felt splendour. I had never seen a soul shine through a face, like that. And we had been taught obedience above all, but God had surely lied, because… because even twisted and conflicted as you were, you radiated love in all the ways I didn’t know I craved to feel. How was I supposed to pledge myself to an absent father when you were right there? When my own doubts were later echoed in your hands and the steady beat of your heart a hundredfold?

“And it was—is—complicated, and confusing, and painful but learning to feel, to disobey, to love; it has been the greatest honour and privilege of my life. And I know you don’t like… grand declarations,” Cas says quietly. He forces his eyes upwards, swallowing thickly when Dean meets them, his own wide and unflinching. “So please believe me when I say that this isn’t, to me. And I know I’ve told you all of this before, but we’re not dying, now, and you need to know how thankful I am to even just know you—”

Dean surges forward to press their mouths together, reaching over to pull Cas closer. He buries a hand in dark hair and uses the other to cup Cas’s stumbled jaw, pulling away to mutter Jesus, Cas before kissing him again. And again. And again. He pulls away and moves back when Cas chases, a crooked, goofy smile tugging at his mouth. Cas feels himself start to grin in response. “What?” he asks.

“You just—” Dean shakes his head. “You say all this epic crap about me like you didn’t change me, too.” He looks down at their joined hands, frowning as he brushes a thumb over Cas’s knuckles. “I didn’t really have any friends before you. Or not like you, at least. Hunting… you kinda gotta keep people at an arm’s length. And you—y’know, you helped me be myself. Made me brave. So, uh. Thanks. I guess.”

“You’re—welcome,” Cas says haltingly. He can’t stop staring, but he thinks maybe that’s okay. That this instance of overwhelming love and appreciation is the only one where unabashed looking is not a social faux pas. Hesitantly, he leans in. Dean meets him halfway.

They kiss for a good long while, until Dean is pressed back into the mattress and Cas is a useless, warm lump on top of him. What they’re doing can definitely be characterized as swapping spit; their every movement lazy and deep, hands wandering, bodies tangled and moving together as if in a prelude to sex despite the fact that neither of them seem particularly inclined to get there.

“Y’know, you never actually answered my question,” Dean breathes into the bolt of Cas’s jaw.

“Question?” Cas asks faintly.

“Mm. About you. When you were an angel.”

“Ah, my wings were iridescent black,” Cas murmurs humming when Dean makes his way back for a real kiss. “I have—um, had an animal head for every vessel I took.” Dean rolls them over. “The T-Rex was not a scavenger, and they had mating plumage.” Presses sucking kisses to his neck. “I was an advisor to Cleopatra. I waited for Emperor Ai as he cut his sleeve. Brachiosaurs used to sing—”

Dean abruptly pulls away. He sits up, straddling Cas’s waist with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Cas’s brow furrows. “Dean?”

“Sorry, you just—”

He moves as if to dismount and Cas tugs him back down, catching his mouth in another kiss. “I’m responsible for the Silfra Fissure in Iceland,” he continues. “Gabriel created the platypus. Moses had a stutter and was a bad public speaker; Aaron did most of the talking for him.”

“Uh—”

“The Roman Empress Elagabalus once invited, um, a gladiator to the palace because he had an exceptionally large penis, and when he couldn’t please her, she banished him. Her male lover, Hierocles, had given the gladiator something so he wouldn’t become erect.”

Dean snorts and Cas pulls away with a concerned frown. “What—?”

“Nothing,” Dean laughs, the thing caught somewhere between disbelief and joy. “Keep going.”

“Um… Copernicus had an aversion to feet?”

“Is that a question?”

“No, he did.”

Dean grins and kisses him again.