#while going i was still anxious but i was so proud of myself after

[noxtivagus]

wwww i miss raiding in ffxiv ><

[mattphobiia]

DRIVERS LICENSE.

disclaimer: fluff to smut to fluff🤗

"are you sure you want to do this now? you are literally shaking with nerves chris." i ask, interlocking my hand with his as i reassure him silently. he takes a deep inhale, going to speak before sighing and resting his head against my shoulder. "it's okay."

"i want to!" he groans, his free hand grips onto my thigh before giving it a small squeeze. "i need something to calm me down or something."

"you'll be perfectly fine chris!" i reassure him, pressing my lips against his cheek before running his hair between my fingers, ruffling his fluffy hair as he begins to smile. "don't be afraid to leave it for another day, no one is rushing you."

"i know..."

"do you just want to drive to the gas station? it's not that far from here so it will be a little easier for you to practice." i suggest, dragging my finger in circular motions against his hand as his shaking slowly begins to stop.

he nods in response, before i release his hand as he inserts and twists the car keys, gripping onto the steering wheel as he pressed his foot down onto the pedal as he nervously swallowed.

"you're doing great, chris." i say, slightly turning up the volume of the music before he releases a deep sigh. "how are you feeling?"

"i feel slightly uneasy but other than that, im okay." he smiles, his grip loosened on the wheel as i could tell his nerves were going away. "i just get that random impulse to swerve to the right, but i wont do that with my passenger princess in the car."

he started to smirk as i roll my eyes, feeling a smile creep onto my face. "stop it, you're almost there by the way." one of his hands slowly rested on my thigh before he pulled over to a quiet area near the gas station, stopping the car as he turns his body towards me. "im so proud of you!" i whisper.

he began to smile before reaching over to me and pulling me onto his lap as he kissed me on the lips, his hands resting onto my hips while he groaned desperately. my hands rested on his shoulders, his hand now slowly moving to my face as he brushed my hair to the side. i felt him get hard beneath me as he broke away, his eyes screaming lust as he hungrily kissed down my neck, leaving dark bruises on display.

"fuck- what's gotten into you?" i giggle, his bright eyes looking back up to me whilst smirking into my skin. his hands moved to my waist, before he began to speak.

"i want you." he replies bluntly, continuing to kiss my neck harshly before a small groan released from me. "backseat?" before i even could get a word out, he swung open the car door and rushed out, carrying me into the back before shutting the door behind him and practically stripping my clothes away.

his pants and boxers were halfway down his legs, already lining up his cock at my entrance as i felt my stomach drop at the wetness between my legs. he slowly began to stick his length into me as i released loud moans from my mouth, he had only done one thrust and i already felt desperate for him.

"chris!" i choke out in a mess, one of his hands wrapped around my neck applying small pressure while the other was placed onto my waist for support. "oh- my god!"

the only words my mind could form was his name, but his pace only seemed to fasten and when i thought he couldn't go any faster, he always proved me wrong. he leaned down to my face, admiring my face before burying my lips into a long kiss as we both groaned in each others mouth. his tip was directly hitting my g-spot and i felt myself begin to let go, grabbing onto his wrist as i held a tight grip on him, panting uncontrollably as i relaxed my body onto the carseat. chris cautiously pulled himself away as he began to dress himself, helping me soon after.

"you alright?" he asks, pressing a kiss against my forehead. "i dont know what came over me but we need to do that more."

"i feel like i should be asking you that. you still anxious now?" i laughed, both of us crawling back to the passenger and driver seats as chris began to reverse the car around.

"i feel a lot better after that, but thanks for being here when i drove for the first time." chris smiles.

"honestly it's no problem, you know ill always be here." i reassure, placing my hand against his on the gear before he turns up the volume on the radio again to normal.

MASTERLIST

a/n: disclaimer this fic was rushed bc i need to post something and im on my way to my nanas BUT GUYS WHAT THE HELLL MY LAST FIC "SOFT" DAMN GOT OVER 300 LIKES TYSM. i actually love you guys i saw so many notifications and that honestly made me feel so much better about work:) ALSO SOME LIKE GOOD WRITERS I FOLLOW SAW IT AND I NEARLY CRIED BC THEIR WRITING IS SO GOOD AND I SECRETLY LOVE THEM😭maybe i just need to write more smut bc damn yall seem to love that shit but i dont blame you😛 honestly i appreciate all of u sm and ill try post more when i can! im visiting my nana for a bit so i may not be writing much so ill be posting drafts n shit. thank you for all the support!

[saintvainglorious]

My First Fanbind! A Black Sails Fic Anthology Series

It took me a year (and a lot of anxious research) before I worked up the courage to bookbind fanfiction, and after months of on-again-off-again work, my first fanbind is finally done!

I knew that if I was going to bookbind fic, I had to bind something from the Black Sails fandom, aka the fandom and show that have had the biggest impact on my life. Y'all, I almost went into academia to study slavery in the 17th-18th century Caribbean because of this show - when folks say this show rewires your brain chemistry, they are NOT kidding. THEE show of all time. Happy 10th anniversary to Black Sails! This fandom is small but mighty. May we continue to get our hearts and souls blasted to smithereens by this show for many years to come.

Ao3 abounds with magnificent Black Sails oneshots, so I decided to put together an anthology of my favorite Silverflint fics under 20k, which I split into two volumes. Included are works by @justlikeeddie, @vowel-in-thug, @balloonstand, @annevbonny, @francisthegreat, @nysscientia, and more! Thank you, thank you all, you brilliant wonderful people, for gracing the Internet with such amazing writing. When I read the fics in these anthologies I want to fling myself into the sun.

More on the design and binding process below the cut!

Vol. 1 Page Count: 270 (12 fics) Vol. 2 Page Count: 248 (11 fics) Body Font: Sabon Next LT (10.5 pt) Title Font: Goudy Old Style Other Fonts: IM Fell English, pirates pw

The typeset (which I did in Word) took a while, mainly because I'd never done it before. Manually adjusting the hyphenation line-by-line was especially tedious. After making these books, I abandoned Word in favor of InDesign, in large part because InDesign gives you way finer control over your justification and hyphenation settings.

Regarding my actual design choices, I'm happy with how the ocean motif on the title page turned out (it's not the same pattern as my endpapers, but they're complimentary) and I'm very fond of my divider dingbats, which are little swords! Goudy Old Style was a fun title font to use, since it's the font that Black Sails uses as its logo. The stories in Vol. 1 are divided into parts based on what Silver WAS at that point in the show (cook, quartermaster, or king), and Vol. 2 is split up into comedies, histories (AUs set in the canon universe) and tragedies - befitting Black Sails' Shakespearean ~vibes~.

I stuck to a flatback binding, as I wasn't feeling quite ambitious enough to try rounding and/or backing. I've learned that I ~Anakin Skywalker voice~ hate sanding, enjoy folding/sewing, and don't LIKE edge trimming but enjoy the results enough to make it worth it.

The real adventure was decorating the cover, which remained bare for months. After agonizing over Illustrator and experimenting unsuccessfully with HTV and lokta paper embossing, I ultimately turned to using stencil vinyl to paint on the designs. There was a bit of seepage under some of the stencils, but I was able to scrape off the excess with my Cricut weeding tool without damaging the coated surface of the bookcloth (probably Arrestox Blue Ribbon from Hollander's). Even though it was very time-consuming, I'm so happy with the end result of the stenciled paint job and I intend to stick with stencils for my foreseeable future binds.

Are there things I would change? Sure. It was humid out when I printed, so the pages have got a wave. There’s an extra two pages in Vol 2. that I have no idea how I missed, and I got a line of glue in the middle of one of my Vol. 2 endpapers. I’m pretty sure I didn’t case in quite right, since my endpapers pull away from the case at the spine. I think the inner margins are a bit too big, and despite going line-by-line there’s still some wacky justification spacing in the typeset. But man, am I proud of these books! It is so satisfying to learn a new skill - MANY new skills, if we’re being honest - and to make something both beautiful and practical. If I’m still binding in two years or so, I can see myself redoing the typeset in InDesign, cutting out the existing text block, and reusing the cases. I’m also already planning for Vol. 3, which will be Silverflint Modern AUs.

Thanks for reading!

[kmixer]

"you're perfect my dear"

🍷 Alastor x insecure! reader

🍷 summary: posting something online thinking you finally look good but then getting some hate comments that make you feel insecure all over again, thinking everything you've done to make yourself pretty was useluss. You begin getting a panic attack the moment you try to make yourself a glass of wine, and that makes you let go and break the bottle of whine. The sounds of glass breaking doesn't go unnoticed

🍷Cw: body dismorphia, some tiny mentally unstable topics (panic attack, overthinking, shaking, anxiety), cyberbullying, comfort, fluff

You just posted some cute photos of yourself on instagram, one of your face, one of your body, and some others.

You smiled as you were proud of yourself for being confident enough for doing this bc this was way out of your comfort zone, but you wanted to try, so you did.

an hour passes as you got lots of likes and kind comments on your post. You smile at your phone as you open a wine bottle to relax a bit more. as you were about to fill up your glass, you froze bc of one particular comment saying "if i were you, i would've k!lled myself ages ago"

Your body froze as you began shaking and breathing heavier. You try to put the wine bottle down as you read several others, agreeing with the person putting up that horrible comment.

Breathing was getting harder. You put the wine bottle down, or so you thought. Suddenly you heard a loud sound of glass shattering and when you looked down you saw wine and glass all over the floor.

Realizing what you just did made you even more anxious as you tried to get out of the puddle, but it only ended up with a piece of glass cutting your foot.

Tears began running over your cheek as you sank down on the ground and pulled your knees up so you could hide your face in them. You began sobbing quietly when you suddenly heard the doorknob turn, knowing someone just came in.

"Oh dear" you heard, and by the radiodic voice, you know instantly it was your boyfriend Alastor. He knew for some time that you had body dysmorphia and looked very low at yourself. He himself thought you were perfect and always told you that.

"What happened, love?" He said while walking over to you with a worried expression even though his smile still remained. "What is bothering you, love?" He asked while making one of his tentacles sweep away the pieces of glass so he could get to you easier.

When he could get to you properly, he walked up to you and crouched down in front of you. You were still sobbing and not paying attention to the wound on your foot, nor your boyfriend talking to you.

"awh, comon darling, tell me what happened so i can dress you up with your beautiful smile again." he said while taking you face in both his hands and carefully facing it up so he could see your precious face. Even though your eyes were puffy and red, he still smiled at you with a comforting smile, thinking you were as beautiful as ever.

"Now tell me, love what's the matter" and then you told him what happened, about the hate comments about you were finally confident enough to post and about your panic attack.

Alastor looked at you with still a comforting smile as he leaned forward to kiss your forehead. "Now, now, what did i say about haters?" He says while looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

"ignore them bc they're insecure themselves?" You said questionable. Alastor looked pleased and nodded, "That's right there. now comon and let's clean that nasty wound" he said, gesturing at the wound on your foot bc of the glass piece.

After you guys were done bandaging your foot, Alasor carried you to your bedroom and layed you down on your bed while he crawled beside you. He pulled you closer as he comforted you with playing with your hair and looking at you with a lovely gaze.

"Before you fall asleep dear, i wanna say one more thing," He said while kissing your forhead and resting his chin on your head making you smile. "You're perfect, my dear"

I NEED HIM

btw, if you have any ff you wanna request about any of the hazbinhotel characters, feel free to request!

this ff was made by kmixer. Please do not steal or copy my work.

[winters0689]

Lester Papadopoulos is a comfort character to me. I’ve been a huge Percy Jackson fan for years now, and I’ve loved many characters (Grover, Nico, Leo, Percy, etc) and when I first read TOA I loved it, but after rereading it…

I fell in love with Lester, this caring and complex character who had many layers to him, that came off as selfish, and yet just so happened to be one of the most selfless characters in the book.

He’s caring, he’s a former god, he’s selfless, he pees himself regularly, he loves his children, he drowned his ex that one time, he is a god of many things, he has had many lovers. He has so many aspects to him that makes him so interesting.

He has a redemption arc as he realizes that he has made mistakes, but also realizes that he has been abused by Zeus, that it most likely influenced how he view things, and how he may have picked up toxic behaviors from Zeus. He learns to be more human, which is such a beautiful arc to see him go through.

He cares SO MUCH about others. He grieves for Jason and Crest and Heloise and so many other people. He tried to sacrifice himself many times and has many heroic qualities, but he is an unreliable narrator and sometimes what he says doesn’t reflect what he does.

His and Meg’s relationship is one of my favorite friendships in the books. It feels like it’s the two of them against the world at times. Meg cares so much for him while also calling him out on his bad actions (like when they were on Sutro Tower) and Lester cares so much for her as he realizes that she has been abused, that she needs help, and that he wants to help her separate from Nero’s influence, that he is so proud of her for standing up to Nero. They both form such a strong bond with each other and I just- I love them!

He is also absolutely hilarious. I find myself laughing as he is just- so snarky sometimes? He also sometimes know random things? (Like the Goddess of Sewers Cloacina) He is also funny when he has no knowledge on how human things work (like not knowing the price of Tater Tot’s)

He also gets anxious and freaks out and cries and he just feels. He gets happy and laughs and gets sad and laments. He gets flashbacks and clearly has trauma but doesn’t let that excuse his bad actions as he feels guilt for his actions. He can also be quite harsh on himself, blaming himself often and sometimes projecting that onto others (like him saying that Piper is blaming him for Crest’s death??) He is such an emotional character and I love him for that.

I love whenever he gets his godly strength as it starts with small things and then it gets to the point that he can create fire with his hands just by simply mentioning cauterizing a wound and breaking Nero’s fasces and having enough strength to drag Python into the Underworld and is strong enough to hold on just enough to save himself from falling into Tartarus. He is such a strong person who has an incredible pain tolerance.

There are many other things that I love about Lester Papadopoulos/Apollo. I think I can positively say that he is my favorite PJO character. I often reread TOA more than the other books. I love the story and how dark it can get while also exploring the themes of how abuse affects you.

I just- I love Meg and Apollo. I need for fanfic of them!! I need more content of them! Their friendship is so underrated, so when I see people make fanfic of them I get so happy!

I also love the community. The fan-artists and the fanfic makers and anyone who just writes long posts, like me, are so talented and is honestly the best fandom I’ve been in.

I hope the PJO show becomes popular so that more people can read these amazing series. I hope there will be a day that TOA gets adapted, and even if it doesn’t, I still have the audiobooks to go back to.

Thanks TOA fandom, for still going strong, even years after the books ended and new books have come out and are still making fanfic about them. It feels like the books have never ended, like the TOA books are still going on and are still making posts.

I’m so happy to be part of such a passionate fanbase.

Anyways if anyone is willing to offer any good fanfics then let me know!

[sugar-omi]

Ohhh the newest dad cove post the pregnant mc is so so good,,,,, rip though imagine just how clingy this makes him oh my god. (late riser mc) he’s constantly falling asleep on the couch next to you when it gets later, hand on your back or around your middle whether you’re showing yet or not because he can’t stand the idea of you needing something but not waking him up ‘cause he’s in bed(especially when you have bad “morning” sickness).

or something that absolutely makes my blood pressure absolutely skyrocket is strangers being touchy, (he’d obviously not be like? weird about it like if you want to let family or friends feel the baby kick; he’s honestly just nodding along with the biggest goofy-proud smile like “it’s the coolest thing ever right???”) but if random strangers are getting touchy or pushy because they seem to think pregnant people are free real estate? just this big ass man getting physically between the two of you and completely shutting them down without a word? 1000/10.

also rip mc but I myself am a Cove suprise twins truther and not gonna lie to anyone but unless you are well above average size? rip mc. late second trimester and on is just a mess because like the other post said? all fun and games having a giant husband until giant baby time. man is so conflicted(for a multitude of reasons tbh because if one baby almost being here wasn’t overwhelming enough? two?) because on the one hand there’s almost a twinge of guilt because you’re so sore and tired and sick of having to pee every five seconds, but also, not even a sexual(or maybe just a little) thing but some part of his brain is like you said just? that’s his baby- his babies, like it hits him so much that you are literally carrying his kids that you two made together and you trust him enough to be by your side and be your kids’ dad?? and sometimes he’s looking at you with big wet eyes and wobbly lips while you’re trying to hunt down the current craving and you panic that he’s crying, and when he explains… oh now you’re crying because of hormones being out of wack and he’s too sweet for this.

I LOVE YOU ANON. WE ARE THE SAME. literally sharing all my thoughts rn pls... i love the thought of my mc n cove having 1 kid (thru adoption) and their first pregnancy/baby being twins. just instantly throws them into the boiling pot of parenthood

n omg he's so fucking clingy after you get pregnant. if you're not a hugger, you are now. because he needs to be around you n touching you, he fucking loves you so much and just needs to touch n kiss n hold you

omfg, tries to feel the baby kick or anything like that before it's even possible. instantly starts talking to your baby before they're even supposed to be able to hear

if you're still sleeping, or napping, he'll cuddle up near your stomach and strokes the area, tracing hearts and stars and such, talking about how much he loves you. how great you are. tells funny stories from your shared childhood, tells your baby/babies about their future aunts n uncles n grandparents.

they're gonna be so loved.

n if you wake up in the middle of him doing this, try to stay still and listen because then he goes on about how much he loves the babe/s and how he's gonna take care of them, and you, and he'll protect n love them n he daydreams out loud about all the milestones, all the way up to their weddings which just makes him cry

you might even catch him rambling about how he'll make sure they never feel insecure, or like a burden, or anything like that, especially any feelings or thoughts he had from his childhood.

and yeahh, he'd be so overwhelmed and freaked out if your first pregnancy is TWINS!! he gets anxious. because now there's a double chance of failure. he's just so afraid for your future, and even if you're anxious and afraid too now with the news, he does calm down even if you don't comfort him.

bouncing your anxieties off each other, makes him realize you're both going towards a good path. if you're already worried about X, Y, and Z, then you know you're on the same page, and while parenthood is unpredictable.. your beliefs and wishes for your family are certain

takes a deep breath n just promises you it'll be okay. you'll figure it out. you can worry through parenthood together. and you'll figure it out together.

does call his dad and he talks to cove, helps him with his anxieties, etc.. it helps him relax when cliff says that, while cove was a very happy accident, at least he's prepared unlike he and kyra were. this was something you wanted, prepared for. that all the mental preparation, is the best it'll get and now you have to figure it out together, and that he, kyra, and your moms are here to help you figure it out.

n omg cove feeling bad about you being sore, tired, exhausted from the baby totally rearranging your guts and pressing against your bladder like a meat press.

always offers you massages, foot rubs. and helps you do any maintenance, like helping you shave or doing your names, put on lotion, etc. since your stomach is getting too big to work around

helps you put on your shoes if you need, too. he brings you all the snacks (ends up trying your cravings too. in fact, HE has cravings n now both of you are scrambling for the car and end up sitting in the parking lot eating whatever weird combo one of you thought of)

and you're so right about him finding you attractive when you're pregnant, not necessarily sexual like you said although it has undertones. in fact, since we're talking about it. it's kinda like they're satisfied they made their mark on you LOL

which in that case... cove probably doesn't even realize how.. happy. he is. that whenever you leave the house, people can easily see you have someone at home waiting for you. that you're taken.

literally read an article about men's thoughts on their pregnant wives, and they're so interesting (can't get over the guy saying ["my wife still doesn't believe i found her sexy during her pregnancy. i saw what a baby did to her and it just made me want to fill her with more."])

n their increased attraction all seems to come back to their wife carrying their baby, and their body getting bigger. not even just her boobs and butt, loves how her tummy gets bigger during the pregnancy, loves the stretches marks because it's a sign of the hard work she did carrying their baby

he just loves everything about you. loves your glow, your scent, your whole look.

also like i said before, pregnancy just kinda flipped a primal switch in cove's brain. happens to pretty much every man on the planet. loves when you ask him for help because you're too pregnant to do it. or if you call him "daddy", "papa" or something along those lines, just messing with him (same way guys will call you "mama"), he has to grip the counter n take a minute because omfg... he's a dad. he's your babies dad. even if you don't call him that, has to take a breather if you bring him up like that.

is so fucking ecstatic about you calling him your babies father that he will probably fall on the floor crying n throwing up like. he's insane.

ohhh and he'd just be at your beck and call the further along you get. imagine him with his arm wrapped around your waist or shoulder, just keeping you secure in his grip as you cross the road.

just becomes so much more protective. subtly of course, not overboard like growling n hissing but yknow he keeps you close, keeps an eye out.. etc.

oh and you're so right about him putting himself between you n touchy stranger number 8123901. even if you tell him it's okay, he still checks you out to see if you're uncomfortable.

but lets be real, i can't see many daring to get handsy and pushy with your over 6 foot, somewhere 'round 200lbs, husband next to you. that'd just be stupid.

so don't be afraid to just drag him to the store to be your shield LOL

still, even though he relaxes a bit as your pregnancy progresses and to strangers, he seems pretty relaxed and cool n all that. does go home with you and can't help but cry because you look so cute, and your family is increasing, n it's just all so much. he's a big baby still

[shakespeareinnit]

9 february 2024 》 "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." - Kurt Cobain

(I cannot find any evidence whatsoever that Kurt actually ever said this, but a pretty great quote 🤷‍♀️)

Starting to fall into a bit of a rhythm now, which is really great. I'm so proud of myself! Getting up at 8 in the morning no matter what has been so great for me. Even if I was up all night and I am shattered, it's one of my new non-negotiable morning habits. I make myself a cup of tea and even if I go back to bed, at least I gave myself the chance to start the day at a reasonable time! 💕

I keep tackling basic, but very anxiety-inducing things in life (like doctor's appointments, ugh) and with each one, I prove myself I am capable. Been really good this week especially at not getting discouraged by setbacks (like not going to lectures, rotting in bed all day or staying up until 6am). I really need to get on my sleep-schedule next, but I am trying not to overwhelm myself, so we're being gentle about it.

I need to get in my sleep until I can anyway, because assignment deadlines for this semester are coming up, and I am also going back to work in less than a month. Goodbye off-season, you were good while you lasted 💔 I do miss flying though (and getting paid asdffghh) even if I've been super anxious about going back to work. New roster is out though and the crew on my first flight back is fab, which is a great relief! ✈️

I'm still not as caught up on uni work as I'd like to be - and I really desperately need to email some people about uncompleted work from the previous semester 😬 - but we are slowly getting there. Yay!

Little treats after completing tasks is the way to go! I forgot how much I love the rocky road slices they have at all the different cafés around uni 🍫 Plus, been reading Abigail Roux & Madeleine Urban's Cut and Run series again for the hundredth time, and it's making me very nostalgic. I first read the books when I was 16, and today, reading a rather steamy scene in the uni library, brought back a very vivid memory of me reading probably the exact same scene on a school library computer while I should have been working on history coursework. 😅 That was 10 years ago! Insane. Anyway, I always always come back to these books. The rubbish ebook formatting can be very frustrating, and the storytelling is somewhat chaotic occasionally, especially in the first book, but, god, I adore Ty and Zane so much. Bisexual FBI agents enemies-to-soulmates wholesomeness is exactly what I need in my life right now. 🩷💜💙

[itsrorysstuff]

hey baby, can i request julien x jealous!gf reader angst to fluff? thank u sm ♡

I blushed when you called me baby 🤭 (do it again) anything for you.

RPF

Jealous!gf x Julien

It gets hard watching my girlfriend make out with someone who’s not me, especially when they do it so publicly. The hate is the worst, people on the internet say the meanest things “she’ll never look at y/n like that” or “Lucy and Phoebe are better for her anyway”it was starting to feel like that too. I mean I trust my girlfriend, I trust Phoebe and Lucy too, but it’s so damn hard watching it happen after every show. To make matters even worse, Julien and I had barely said anything to each other since tour started. I knew she was busy, and she made time for me when she could, I just don’t know what to make of it anymore. My head raced constantly with anxious thoughts, did she still love me? Did she still want me or want me on this tour?…did she still think I was beautiful?

I want her to absorb all of this love though, she deserves the whole world, who am I to stop her from receiving such love from people who adored her almost as much as I did. On the other hand, I missed my girl. And maybe selfishly, I thought that outweighed the other things. So I overthought it some more, meticulously planning out every word I’d say to her if and when I decided to bring this up.

One night, after watching a particularly heavy “Salt In The Wound” make out, I decided I’d had enough. Getting angry on the inside but trying to stay cool on the outside. Thoughts like “does she even consider me while she’s out there? Do I even matter to her in this circumstance? Did she read the hate I got? If so, did she just not care?” All thoughts were interrupted by a sweaty julien pressing into my side. “Hi baby, what’d you think?” She asked, I wondered if she even noticed this was the first words she’d said to me all day. I pushed it aside though, telling myself I had to talk myself down “it was amazing as normal” i said with a forced smile on. She looked at me weirdly “thanks…ready to go?” I nodded and took het hand as she lead me to the car. The car ride was yet again, silent. More thoughts came running through my head, it’s like I couldn’t stop them. Did she miss me like I missed her?

When we got back to the hotel julien immediately went into the bathroom to shower, I just sat down hunched over on the bed. Before I knew it she was out and I was still anxiously sitting and staring at the wall. Suddenly, words came out, I couldn’t help myself “Julien we need to talk.” I don’t know if I regret it or not, but she looks scared. “Okay…what’s up sweetheart?” She said, using a nickname she usually only used to soften me up. I sighed, “feel free to tell me I’m a selfish bitch, cause I feel like one, but this has to come off my chest. You’ve been neglecting me completely. I know you’re busy on tour, that’s fine and I’m so proud of you j, I really am. But it’s come to the point where you say 2 sentences to me per day, 3 if I’m super lucky. And it doesn’t help at all that you make out with your friends, but not me. Especially so publicly, do you understand how much hate I get from that action alone? And usually it wouldn’t bother me but under these circumstances…” I blurted it all out, so quickly I’m not sure she caught it all. She looked surprised, mouth hung slightly open as I said “what I’m trying to say is, do you still love me?” I asked, completely seriously. “Baby-what? Of course I love you. God of fucking course I do. I love you more than anything in the world. I-i I’m so sorry you even had to ask that” she said, pressing a kiss to my lips as a tear rolls down my cheek. “I’m so sorry my love, I’m so so sorry.” She said as she kissed my face “I’ll do so much better for you I promise, I never want you to question my love for you. It’s infinite my sweet, beautiful girl.” She said. “I love you so much. Thank you for understanding.” I responded. “Of course. You know you can always talk to me. I’ll work on talking to you more, I promise. And as for the hate, I’m putting out a statement on mine and the boygenius instagrams tomorrow” “you really don’t have to do that much it’s not-“ and than she cut me off with a kiss to my lips. “It’s a big deal. I don’t want people hating on my girl.”

[gatitties]

Hai hai!!! I hope your having a good day, lad.

Can I have a StrawHats x Teen! Reader who suffers from Anxiety? the reader is strong for their age though but under all that tough exterior they are still a child. I suffer from it myself and I wanna know how the crew handles a younger person with it. The reader has a habit of clutching their chest whenever they feel that overwhelming feeling coming through, and even has anxiety attacks now and then. It would be sweet seeing the crew comforting them.

Pleaaase and Thank you! Take your time I know people have other things going on in life besides Tumblr!

─Strawhats x teen!reader (platonic)

─Summary: you have an anxiety attack but luckily they are there to cover your back

─Warnings: none

(Related part)

Dealing with anxiety is quite a struggle, I hope everything goes well for you friend, a big hug to all of you who also fight against it 🫂

─ Being the youngest only means that you will have a little more attention in case something happens to you, this doesn't mean that everyone doesn't knows that you are strong enough to fight your own battles, otherwise you would not be on board.

─ That's probably why at first you hid your little moments of anxiety as best you could, despite being the youngest, you wanted to see yourself as one of them, you don't need so much attention or seek anyone's approval to make your own decisions.

─ You were a teenager despite everything, a stubborn and proud one who doesn't accept the help of others so easily, although you learned to toughen your exterior, your interior was as soft as plasticine.

─ But bad habits never die, whenever you had stronger anxiety attacks unconsciously your hands were positioned on your chest, squeezing to try to make the feeling in the pit of your stomach disappear.

─ Robin and Chopper were the first to notice this when you were in some stressful situations, and they immediately knew that you weren't well, however you will lie so they don't worry.

─ Unfortunately, after the two of them noticed how sometimes your breathing stops out of nowhere, the anxiety attacks increased.

─ They began to subtly help you so that you wouldn't feel like they were helping you, your pride wouldn't allow it, if they noticed that you were starting to get anxious they would distract you by talking to you about anything or moving you to a quieter place.

─ But when it started to get worse, everyone noticed your mania when you felt anxious, except Luffy, he just thought that the food had made you sick.

─ Although when they explained it to him, he hit you on the nape for being an idiot, this man doesn't have a bit of tact, he scolded you for not trusting them covering your back, it's okay that you want to solve your problems on your own, but sometimes it's okay to ask for help.

─ And you collapsed after he told you that, Sanji hit Luffy for being so hard with his words and took you to the kitchen while preparing the meal, he asked you for help letting you do the simplest things to calm down.

─ The cook spoke much more calmly with you, you were able to release some of that pressure that oppressed your chest thanks to him.

─ After that, none of them seemed to behave differently, that is, if they helped you in a much more noticeable way when you had your attacks, but they didn't comment on anything, they simply helped you without asking anything, they knew that sometimes you can't get to talking in the middle of an attack.

─ Luffy will fight it off with hugs, Usopp will offer his hand for you to grab and squeeze, Chopper knows a lot of types of breaths to calm you down, Robin will pat you on the back, Nami will pat your head, Zoro will probably drag you into another quieter place (you end up lost), Sanji will probably kick the reason for your anxiety if he can, Brook will play something on his violin to relax your body, Franky will distract you with any of his new inventions and Jinbe will make you focus only in him to calm you down.

─ In general everyone knows that you will be fine on your own most of the time, but if you start to hold your chest it will be the sign to take action to give you a little hand, they did not make you feel weaker, you learned to better cope with anxiety by their side and luckily the attacks subsided a bit after that.

[haloxsaisha]

So Good.

[Lewis Hamilton x Actress!Reader]

Based on: So Good by Halsey.

Warnings: Angst, Abu Dhabi and Monza 2021 (I'm so sorry), some fluff, few cheesy dialogues (cause I'm a dumbass), depression, insomnia, eating disorder and weight loss.

Word Count: 15.5K words (I've never written this much in my life so far, I'm so proud of myself).

A/N: My first Lewis fic, I wasn't expecting it to be done with during the Abu Dhabi race week but oh well💀 I'm personally quite happy with how this turned out! I hope y'all like it <33

Bold and italicized font: song lyrics.

Italicized font: flashbacks.

“I remember the night, I was so frustrated.”

You could only bury your hands, head filled with shock and completely blank.

You never thought this would ever happen to anybody, let alone just him. Nobody who had watched the sport did.

Everything inside you began to sink in the moment the whole mess about unlapping the cars started and as the rest of the race unfolded, you felt yourself crumbling.

Lewis staying in his car in silence, in disbelief at the parc ferme had been playing on your mind again and again.

You were supposed to be there. You had to be there for him.

You had apologized to him multiple times for not being there in a championship decider race, especially at a win that was so historically important but he dismissed your countless apologies saying that he could understand. You had been shooting for a movie in London since November, which also meant that you hadn't met each other in more than a month, work and COVID restrictions making its way in. There was one thing that you and Lewis always stood by, which was that your jobs would be given the first priority. Understandable from both sides because your works usually involve a lot of people, meaning that compromising on it was quite hard and it was also very important to both of you from an emotional perspective, although you had to admit the Formula 1 driver was reaching an equivalent position to your work in your heart.

You watched him speak in the post race interview and then the moment he shared with his father, leaning his head as he took in the encouraging words being whispered in his ear. He had always been so strong and it was something you admired about him.

You sent him a message (which you hoped would provide a bit of comfort), mentioning that what happened was unfair, he deserved that win after everything he'd been through the entire season and that night and how proud you were of him. Also adding that he could call you when he felt like doing so because he wouldn't be in the headspace to talk to people at the time.

Seven hours later, you were done with your scenes for the day at ten in the night. The first thing you did after entering the vanity was checking your phone and your message to him was still at 'delivered', which increased your worry and anxiety.

After a bit, you got the idea of dropping a message to Angela, who was somebody you were close to too. You knew the Wolffs, Miles and Daniel, you even met his parents, stepmum and his siblings too when you'd been to the Silverstone race but Angela was somebody you bonded along with very well. She was one of the sweetest persons you'd met and also took care of you like an older sister would whenever you were around.

But you'll only get a response a while later since it's probably the wee hours at Abu Dhabi right now, you thought as you sighed. The race and your work has already drained out all your energy and despite your mind being absolutely restless because of how anxious you felt, but you had to drive yourself to sleep somehow. The director wouldn't be happy seeing her lead actress with puffy eyes and barely any energy the next day.

By the time you landed on your bed, it struck midnight and your phone let out the notification sound, showing the message from Angela which said that Lewis wasn't doing great and hadn't spoken to anybody yet.

Now how were you going to be able to sleep after knowing that?

“I touch your hand for the first time, I see it on your face, then another lifetime's flashin' by.”

"You see the star there? That one's called Sirius." he tells you, pointing to a specific region in the night sky.

"I didn't peg you to be somebody who was familiar with Harry Potter references, Hamilton." you give him a surprised, yet impressed look.

"There's a lot more to me than meets the eye darling, you'll see." he tells you cockily and you playfully rolled your eyes, shaking your head.

"This might just be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen." you said in awe, your eyes fixed at the sparkling stars laid on an endless canvas of the dark blue sky.

"Mhm yeah, it definitely is." the sweet and distracted voice of the man who'd been surrounding you and your thoughts for the past couple of months came through and you turned your head towards him, finding him looking at you.

You felt your cheeks heat and you could only let out a giggle in response, not knowing how to respond because of how flustered he made you feel.

Lewis Hamilton was definitely a lot more cheesy than one would ever assume.

"I'm sorry I couldn't plan anything fun, there's pandemic restrictions so everything around is almost shut." he apologizes and you melt at how heartful he sounds about it.

"Don't be ridiculous Lew, I've loved every moment of this date so far." you assure him with a soft smile. Star gazing with somebody you've admired for so long as a first date was something that nobody could beat.

"Well, how can I make the date better?" he asks and your eyes light up in silent laughter thinking he's joking but then you look at him, it turns out that he was actually being serious.

Dear god, what type of dates had this man been on?

"Well that's a hard one because I feel like the date has already met the standards." you pretend to think for a moment "Maybe you could let Roscoe join us?" you ask him, giving him a grin which made him fall for you even more.

"Now that's not fair." he playfully whines "This time is for us. He loves you too much, will take away all your attention from me." he said, referring to all the times the both of you spend with your mutual friends. He was right, the bulldog did take a lot of your time.

"Well I've at least gotta win over one heart right?" you said, reflecting your doubts about him considering if the thing between the both you was anything serious or not.

"Well in that case, his heart will be the second one you've won over from this house." he said and you looked at him, your eyes softening with warmth and your cheeks turning red as you move closer to him.

He feels it too, you thought as he wrapped his arm around you, making you sigh in bliss.

Nearly two years later, the morning after the catastrophic race, the first thing you saw after waking up were the words "I don't think I can do this anymore, I need some space and time away." on your phone and at that moment, you had been absolutely destroyed.

It felt like everything in you had just been dropped down and shattered without any noise, you just feel so hollow and empty on the inside.

You couldn't ridicule him for feeling devastated, anybody would understand how much yesterday meant to him and how it affected him even if they didn't know him personally.

But you believed that you were comfortable enough to be with each other through any situation, happiness or despair. You believed that he found the same comfort, solace and safety that you found in him.

But it turns out that he didn't. The both of you went all the way from a video call like a regular couple would before the race to a text like somebody that didn't really mean anything to him a later, he pushed you out.

“I bet you're happy and that's fine. But I regret just one thing, I never got to change your mind”

He'd been back on the screens for the next season. Despite all the news about him discontinuing racing, you knew he'd go back.

Racing was everything to him, it was quite literally everything he'd known. He'd spoken openly about the struggles that him and his dad faced to reach where he was in the racing industry.

He knew how to rise up from the worst moments, he always had it in him.

You were still a mess. It had been almost three months since the text which broke everything in you. But there he was, having interviews with his teammate, a happy grin on his face.

Being an F1 fan for a long time, you always kept up with whatever news was on about the grid and Lewis had quite the spotlight when it came to headlines about his professional life or personal life.

You knew that he wasn't really the person for serious relationships after a point in his career. All of his focus was on Formula 1, rightfully so, which was why one night stands and short flings were what he went for.

You knew that even before you met him, you knew it whilst being friends but you still agreed to date him despite that one thing freaking you out. He had a hold on you, such an aura around him. You were always in this bubble of happiness, positivity and peace when you were with him.

Although his past relationships made you think about a lot of 'what if-s', how could you say no to a guy who made you feel like that?

Well, this was the consequence of giving in to emotions rather than logic. Your heart had been shattered like fritted glass, while he was back to normal like the break up was nothing but a minor collateral damage.

Work was always a top priority but all those moments that the both of you shared had a lot of meaning right?

“And I'm doin' okay. In the back of my mind, all I hear is your name”

The last time you slept well was the night before the Abu Dhabi race. You were normally a light sleeper, which gave you a pretty decent amount of sleep to feel good the next day.

But ever since that night, your sleep had come down only a few hours every week. You'd just walk about the room feeling restless, scroll through your phone or laptop or the television to pass time, there were some days where you just stared at the ceiling, the thoughts in your head just rushing in with memories of Lewis and you'd end up bursting into tears, sleeping over taking you after your eyes would turn red and puffy. And after two or three hours, you'd be awake again, tossing and turning around the bed.

And it was safe to say the sight of food started making you feel sick, your face would literally scrunch at the sight of it. But you still had to eat a minimum amount of food that would help you survive a day at work. Completely cutting out on food, which you had the urge to do, would completely affect the image on you and your career, which you felt was too risky.

Everybody had noticed you spiralled down, you could feel it too but you just stopped caring about anything after a point, you just felt so empty in your head to push yourself. Acting was the only thing that had you taking steps forward in life.

Soon enough, there were articles out on the news about you, commenting on the drastic weight loss that had been noticed in you, caused by the change in your eating habits. Your fans also began to notice how your use of social media had come down drastically, since you always had the habit of interacting with them frequently and also shared random pictures and videos from your day at work, especially if it was in a place far from home.

And that made the pressure from the people close to you increase. After getting to know about your break up with Lewis, your parents and close friends urged you to talk more, to let out how you were feeling. But you always convinced them by saying that you were alright, that you understood why he needed the break up and you just went along with life, your work satisfying you at the moment.

The moment you came back home after you were done with the movie you were working on for the past couple of months, the first thing your mum did was make you sit next to her and reminded you of all the hard times you'd been through, of all the people you had in your life who still cared for you and loved you, about how there were people out there who admired your work.

And that's when it struck you, that yes, you did lose a particular feeling love in your life. But there was so much more to life that made living your life whole heartedly rather than making it more painful for you, more that you'd already been through because of your heart getting broken by a certain British man.

You took a small break from your work and the fast life around you, spending the time with your family and friends, parallelly going to therapy as well. Although the scar of that heartbreak was always going to remain, the slow paced yet quality time helped your wounds heal little by little.

And then you were back to work, feeling better than you'd been for the past couple of months. You were able to breathe freely, feeling the light weighted space in you.

But there were still certain things that reminded you of him. One day, you saw a bull dog being taken on a walk by its owner, your mind would fly to how Roscoe would lie down in between you and Lewis, snuggling in the night. The smell or sight of tea would remind you about how the both of you would keep arguing about whether tea or coffee was better, you loving coffee and him being always so British and loving tea. But nevertheless he knew how to make coffee the way you liked it and you knew the same for his tea. The sound of a piano would remind you of the times he would play it and sing his favourite songs, even teaching you the basics of how to play it sometimes. Stargazing and watching Formula 1 was something you just stopped altogether, not being able to handle the intensity of the emotions it brought in you.

If there was anything that made you feel relieved now, it was about how it didn't hurt as much as it used to and how the control he had your thoughts had come down.

"Talkin' wildly out of context, I wish things were different. But I'll never know”

What the hell just happened, you thought as you looked at the screen of the TV in the garage.

It took you everything to not break into a string of curse words but if anything, you were really worried if Lewis was okay.

The man literally had a car on top of his with the tyres nearly touching his head, dear god.

And you had no clue how he would react after coming back to the garage. He wasn't the one to tantrums but was he somebody who just stayed quiet? Did he deal with the anger he felt? Would he like having anybody around him to comfort him? Or did he prefer being alone?

You had spent a good number of days with him, an amount of time that could turn into a bunch of months if you added them up, but all the races you'd been to for the past year were always good ones. You were there when he won his seventh world championship but this was the first time you were around during a bad race, a one with a scary DNF.

He didn't know you were here for the race. Due to the COVID protocols, you had to quarantine for a few days before being able to meet Lewis and you didn't have a break or gap of that many days that often which made being at his races quite hard. So you thought that you could surprise him at the Monza GP, coming into the garage after he got into the car.

What you planned was to hide in some corner of the Mercedes garage and meet him in his driver's room after he went there, yelling a cheerful "surprise!". But you obviously couldn't do that now, considering what just happened. How you would meet him was barely on your mind now, you were scared about how he was after the crash.

"Hey, he's back in his driver's room. You can go and meet him now." Angela came and told you, a few minutes after you were restlessly tapping your feet up and down.

"Oh thank god, how is he? No injuries right?" you ask her anxiously, a shaky breath leaving your body.

"He's alright now, nothing serious has happened to him. He has some headache and pain in the neck, he'll be back to normal in a matter of some time." she assures you, giving you a comforting smile and places her around your shoulder, knowing how worried you get about him.

"Would he be alright with having me around now Ange? I think he'd want some silence for now." you said, giving her an unconvincing smile.

"Don't be ridiculous, he just had a scary race. None of his family and close friends are around now either, he'll obviously love to have you around now. You'll make his day better and he'll calm down." Angela convinces you and you walk towards his driver's room, still debating in your mind if you should step in or not.

Angela knocks the door and speaks out so that Lewis thinks it her, rushing towards the team before Lewis opens the door so that the both of you can have your space.

The sound of the room's door opening brings you out of your over thinking. "Um, hey?" you tell him in a shaky voice, eyes scanning over him to see if he was alright. Of course Angela wouldn't lie to you but for some reason, it wasn't sinking in your mind until you saw him.

His eyes widened in surprise "You're here? Wait a minute- you're actually here." he says and his reaction made your nerves calmed down a bit.

"Well, the plan was to keep a rather happy surprise." you say, giving him a weak smile "If you want to be alone for some time, I'll go back and sit with Ange, I totally understand-" he cut off your rambling by taking your hand in his and pulling you in for a hug.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you're here. C'mon in." he said, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his forehead on your shoulder "missed you and that scent so much." he mumbles as you place your hand through his braids, running your fingers through his hair to calm him down, like he always liked it.

"I can feel your heartbeat and it's going crazy. We've been together for a year and I still scare you?" he teases you, referring to the initial days of knowing him. Timid was an understatement. Having been a huge fan of the sport and him for years before you first met him, you always shared many shy smiles and few words with him, scared that your rather talkative side which always went on rambling would annoy him.

"I don't know- that just, that was scary. I'm so worried baby, the tyre was literally so close to your head." you sighed as he sat on the couch, placing you on his lap.

"Stuff like this happens time and again in racing, you've watched it over the years. At that moment I tried to shuffle inside the car as much as possible and lowered my head down, so nothing from the car reached my head. Don't worry sweetheart, I'm totally alright." he says, rubbing circles on your waist in the hopes of calming you down.

"Ange told me you have a headache and neck pain though, don't lie to me." you mumbled, pushing away the braids to a side and placing a small kiss on his forehead. He just gives you a reassuring smile, his eyes signifying that it'll be gone soon and he places his head on your shoulder, snuggling in for comfort as you placed your hand on his back and rubbing it up and down.

Thinking of the memory from that day made you wonder only one thing. Would the both of you still be together if you were together? If he would've seeked your comfort or just push you away nevertheless.

You guess you'd never know, Monza was one DNF while what happened at Abu Dhabi was something brought in such loss and affected his perspective about his career and life.

You knew it didn't end well, there were so many things left unspoken between the two of you. It was bad, but both of you would've been so good together.

[acciocriativity]

BETTER THAN WORDS - JWY (FROM THE 300 FOLLOWERS EVENT)

(Pictures are not mine, credits to the rightful owners)

Ateez Masterlist

Requested from anon!

Thank you so much for the request, dear anon 💕 Since the idea is that I choose the prompts, I inspired myself to create ones based on yours. Hope you love it anyway 💖

"No, I'm telling you, I've seen the way she looks at you", San has been bothering him all morning, because Wooyoung was feeling defeated.

Wooyoung was, at least most of the time, a cheerful person. It came naturally to him. His friends at school expected that from him. He was their happy pill they would say and he was proud of it... but it's impossible to be positive, when you are so damn dense!

"I don't know San-ie, maybe we should give up on the mission".

This is not the Wooyoung he knows, it was the only thing on San's mind at the moment. Something must had happened for him to be sulking around like this and San would figure it out as if his life depend on it.

"Listen, let me try something and after that, you can do as you want, just pick up the phone when I call, okay?", San said in such a serious and determinate tone that Wooyoung couldn't say no.

You came into his life, their lives, out of nowhere. One day, it was the three of them, San, Yeosang and Wooyoung, then the next day there was you sitting with them at lunch being bombarded with questions by Wooyoung.

San was soo confused at first, because sure, they were known as friendly people, Yeosang being the shiest and quiest, but they kept to their own group most of the time. It was rare to find someone that would fit in with them the way that you did.

Wooyoung adored you, trully, but after everything that he tried already, you still didn't have a single clue about his feelings. It made him anxious and a tiny bit insecure, maybe you just did not like him back...

"Don't!", San whispered to Wooyoung as they got into class. "I know this expression, whatever it is, it's not true.

THE 1° ATTEMPT: FAILED

He asked you out on a date. It was quite straight forward to be honest, how can he be more direct than that?

Your answer?

"Sure, where do you want to go?", there was that smile on your face that showed him you thought he meant in a friendly way.

Maybe he wasn't that straight forward then. The both of you went out together a lot for the past month already, but without a name to it. A name he desperately wanted to put on it.

"Hum, maybe that café that opened last week?", you didn't know him enough to notice his smile was forced yet, he was way to good at faking it.

THE 2° ATTEMPT: FAILED

He decided to pull out every trick he knew of. By the end of the week following his first failed plan, he clingied to you like a koala, more than he already did!

While you thought he was adorable and sweet, cuddling to you at every chance and staying by your side whenever you four were walking to class... You missed your personal space a little. You felt what it was like to be Yeosang for the first time, it wasn't a easy job to be that loved all day every day.

Still, how can you ask to that pretty face to give you some space? You could imagine it the kicked puppy face he'd make and that only already broke your heart.

"Wooyoung-ah", you said as you stood together side by side, waiting for the others to meet you at the front of the school.

He looked up from where he was. Chin on your shoulder, hands around your waist as he sway you both to a song he just came up with. His eyes shined in adoration, his smile contagious as he waited for your answer.

His skin was glowing... No, he was glowing that day for some reason. His whole demeanor screamed happiness since 7:30 A.M.

"Did something good happened today?"

It did. Someone asked him if you guys were dating. He had to go to the bathroom to regain some control over his body.

"Just you".

There he was again.

He always been quite flirty, but the past week it only increased. You didn't know what to do with yourself in this situation, you were always caught off guard and your mind came up with a million scenarios to explain this behavior. None of them left you happy though.

"You are impossible, aren't you?", you laughed it off, like you've been doing. You felt like you have to do it to protect yourself and the friend group you barely got into.

THE 5° ATTEMPT: IN PROGRESS

In San's humble opinion, Wooyoung was doing everything wrong. He was way too lost in his feelings to realize that it wasn't how direct and how obvious he could be, it was about you.

You and Wooyoung somehow were like twins, your energy matched in a way no one saw coming. You were the smart kid in class in their minds for the first half of the school year. You're quiet, but kind hearted and smart. Everyone thought the same until Wooyoung decided enough is enough.

He saw bits and pieces of your personality and being the direct man he's always been, he decided right then and there to get to know you more.

But that also meant you also weren't happy 24/7, you struggled a lot too and you could be as insecure as everyone else, even with your cheerful personality shinning through.

San could it see it looking from the outside, you're scared of falling for Wooyoung or maybe you already fell deep into it and couldn't be sure if he was serious about his attempts. He didn't know which one, but he knows he has to do something about it.

"Why don't you talk to him?", his tone wasn't judgmental and his eyes were kind as he sat by your side.

"I want to, but what if he's just being, you know, Wooyoung", you didn't need to explain it further.

San let out a snort, he couldn't help himself as he smiled.

There was a ultimate truth in this, you didn't know Wooyoung for long. You didn't see him go through the lowest up to the highest point in his life. You showed up in a high and since then, Wooyoung has been flying higher and higher because of you.

"He's not like this, you know... I'm mean, he is but he's been so much happier and energized since you came along", he said as he looked forward.

This words stayed with you for a long time, but there was still something missing. Something you wanted to see for yourself and Wooyoung didn't give it to you yet.

So you asked to meet up with him in hopes of seeing it.

"I know what you've been trying to do, you know? You're not discreet, Wooyoung-ie".

He was stunned. Was he getting rejected right now?

The bright smile in his face faded in front of you and you hated it the sight. Your instinct was to grab his hands in yours.

"I just wanted to see it for myself, Yeosang said you looked at me like Winnie the pooh looked at some honey", the smile in your lips only grew as you repeated the words.

Wooyoung was baffled, embarrassed and feeling a little betrayed, because at the end of the day he knew it was true.

"I just wanted more than words", you whispered as you saw it for yourself the effect you had on him. "But don't get me wrong, you are usually good with those".

"Usually?!"

You laughed as you intertwined your hands in his.

"Honey, you're blushing like a tomato right now", you thought he was blushing even more because of your teasing, but he wasn't.

He wouldn't ever tell you how much he loved the petname though.

[eternalbuckley]

You are wonderful in the way you are. — eddie munson

SUMMARY: You are bisexual, and you were trying to find a way on how to come out to your friends. Telling Robin and Steve was the easy part but you were anxious about telling Eddie the truth about you. You really wanted to because he was your closest person.

word count: 1,499

genre: fluff, comfort | gn!bisexual!reader, bipoc!reader and plus-size!reader friendly

warnings: slight description of anxiety and panic (from reader), relationship status with eddie is not described (you can see it in the way how you want), y/n is used a few times, crying/tears, slight jealous eddie, use of petnames (Sweetheart, Angel and Darling), it‘s not proofread, english is not my first language — let me know if i forgot something!

a/n: pride month is ending tonight and I wanted to officially make my comeback to writing here after almost a year. and OF COURSE to write something small for Eddie and bisexual!readers. I am bisexual myself and haven’t come out to anyone in the past few years yet excluding social media. Which is why I really wanted to write this. So whether you are bisexual or not, you‘re valid and I’m so proud of you! Never change because you’re awesome!! Happy reading 🫶

disclaimer: please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work or post this anywhere without my consent. do not translate my work and post it anywhere — i give you no permission to do that. i only post my stories here, so if you find my work anywhere else please let me know! reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated and welcomed!

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You closed your eyes and hugged Robin and Steve back very tightly. Your body was still a bit shaky but you slowly calmed down while no one said anything. A smile slowly made up its way to your lips because you knew they supported you. You knew Robin was a lesbian and Steve was the most supportive person you‘ve ever seen after Robin came out to you a few months ago. You knew nothing would happen or you hoped nothing would. Anxiety still won when you were sitting with them on the floor in the back of your house.

"I… I mean we are so proud of you." Robin said with a smile while her and Steve let go of you.

They both took your hand and Steve nodded, agreeing with Robin.

"I am glad you trust us so much." He added and you let out a small laughter with slight tears in your eyes.

And that‘s how you spend the rest of the night: Talking about your, Robin‘s and Steve‘s different crushes. Filled with many laughter and tears. Some out of sadness but most of them because you all were happy for one night.

Weeks passed by since you came out to the both idiots you loved so much. You grew closer than ever before and that‘s when Eddie got suspicious. Of course, you all were friends that was nothing new but you being so close with them. Usually, you guys would hangout every Friday night and get high together to just enjoy the time together. But you skipped these nights the last two weeks now and he was scared to lose you for whatever reason.

The thing is, you wanted to spend time with him but you were scared as well. You wanted to tell him the truth about yourself as well and you already had a plan. But you were too scared to be alone with him. You had a lot of serious conversations before but this was the most scariest thing you ever wanted to talk about. With Steve and Robin, it was an easier thing because you knew they would support you. And you were sure Eddie would too but you were still terrified. Steve and Robin comforted you and told you that you should take as much time as you need. They didn’t want you to worry and pressure yourself into coming out to Eddie. Both of them knew how close you and Eddie were and that this was very important to you.

You were currently getting ready to hang out with Steve and Robin again. It was a Friday night and you wanted to watch a movie with them. But there was one thing you forgot to cancel: the planned movie night with Eddie. You were deeply into listening to your music and danced to it without noticing Eddie standing in the doorframe of your room. He was led in by your parents. They liked him and were happy you had someone to spend time with. He watched you with an admiring smile and tried to make no noise.

You were still dancing and the moment you faced the door you let out a small scream. "EDDIE! What the hell!" You held your chest.

He chuckled and pushed him off the door to step into your room. "Hi there, Sweetheart."

"H-hi." You looked at him, nervously. You now remembered that you forgot to cancel the movie night with him tonight and kicked yourself in your mind. "What are you doing here?"

"We planned a movie night, you remember?" He slumped down on your back with a big smile.

"Oh... Yeah sure." You turned around to your mirror. You tried to think about an idea to get out of here.

His smile faltered. "You forgot it. Am I right?" He sighed. "Thought we could spend some time again I haven’t seen you in a while now."

You looked at him through the mirror and saw his changed mood. "I did. I‘m sorry.. I." You put down your perfume bottle. "I had plans with Steve and Robin."

He looked at you. "Again?" You nodded your head.

"You‘ve been having our with them a lot for a while now. Is there something I should know, Y/N?" Eddies voice sounded sad but there was a slight hint of jealousy.

You didn’t answer him but bit your lower lip. You knew you couldn’t run away from this moment forever and would have to face it someday.

Eddie sighed again and got up. "You don’t have to tell me. The next time you just shouldn’t forget to cancel our nights. You know? Unless you want to stop it completely, the I‘ll have to accept it."

You turned around and faced him but were quiet.

"Fine. If you don’t want to talk with me that‘s fine but.." He hesitated. "I deserve answers."

You nodded your head. "Yes. Yes, you do, Eddie."

"Then give me answers, Y/N. At least answer me why you keep avoiding to hangout? Did I do something wrong?"

"What? No! Of course not. It’s nothing about you. It‘s just…" You sighed and closed your door, signalling him this was something serious. You sat down on your bed, hands getting sweaty.

Eddie still stood in the middle of your room and had his eyes focused on you and only you. He noticed the change of your body language and immediately sat down next to you and taking your hand.

"You know you can tell me everything. I won’t judge you."

You looked up to him and had tears in your eyes. He looked softly at you and squeezed your hand.

"I‘m not sure about this, Eddie." You eventually whispered.

He knitted his brows together. "I could never judge you, Sweetheart. Never ever. I swear on my life." He put his other hand over his chest, like the dramatic king he always his.

This caused you to chuckle and he smiled because of it. "Y/N, if you don’t want to tell me, it‘s fine. I don’t want to pressure you into telling me what‘s going on. I can wait."

You shook your head and looked down to your both hands. With the other one you wiped away your tears and deeply breathes in. You were nervous. Extremely nervous.

"There‘s something I‘ve been keeping from you, Eddie. And it‘s a really big thing for me." You closed your eyes for a second. "I‘m scared of telling you. I... I‘m scared of all the possible reactions you could give and I‘m scared it will be one of the bad ones."

He looked at you but didn’t say anything. Eddie wanted to give you as much as time you would need — even if it would take all night. He would be there for you. His kind was working on all the possible things you could mean but he had no idea of what you would say next. It could be everything. But he for sure knew, whatever it is he won’t judge you. He never could, you‘re way too important and special for him. He admired you in the way you are, no matter what.

"I... I am bisexual, Eddie." You breathed out, hands still shaking, and you didn’t dare to look up to him.

Eddie sat there in silence. A big and generous smile appearing on his lips. He immediately hugged you and kissed the side of your head. You didn’t say anything and hugged back. Tears flooding out of your eyes because all you were feeling right now was relief.

A few minutes pass by without any words until Eddie loosened the hug to look at you. "I am so proud of you, angel. You know that?"

You looked at him, the tears slowly stopping and chuckled a bit.

"I am so glad you trust me enough to tell me this about you. And I couldn’t be happier to keep this with me forever." He wiped away your tears. "You‘re wonderful in the way you are. Your sexuality won’t ever change this picture of you. Okay?"

You nodded your head and smiled at him. "Thank you, Eddie. You have no idea how relieved I am now."

He smiled at you and hugged you again. But he knitted his eyebrows together again, he was curious. "Is this why you cancelled our movie nights?" He wasn’t angry or mad.

"Y-yeah. I‘m sorry. I know it‘s stup-"

Eddie interrupted you. "It‘s not." He looked at you again. "I should be sorry."

You raised your eyebrows. "Why should you be? I cancelled them not you. I didn’t say why."

"I was jealous." He admitted.

"Jealous? Of what? Steve and Robin?" You slightly laughed. "Oh my god you were!"

He looked down embarrassed but laughed with you. "Yeah, I was."

You squeezed his hand. "There is absolutely no reason to be jealous, Eds. You will always be my guy." A smile appeared on both of your lips.

"And you will always be my sweetheart."

[bluepotion85]

Expanding Bootcamp - Chapter 6 (Male Wg Story)

Summary: After a massive feast at dinner Will gets his last straw and needs to be pulled back from the despair from the situation, with no end to the experiment at sight Connor and Will need to figure out how they want to tackle the rest of bootcamp but more importantly their feelings towards their own changes.

(The following is a male weight gain fic. This is for the most part a slow burn deal)

One night we are getting started to have dinner and the guys in the chow hall are going crazy picking as much food as they can to bring to their table. While we eat Carlos approaches us and tries to convince us to join the rest of the team in a food competition.

“Yeah, guys we miss you during meals let's just tag long, today we will see who can eat the most in the whole group and I can feel today is my day”

“It's ok Carlos, we enjoy the time to be on our own” -I try to explain without sounding hurtful.

"Is ok I understand, you both seem to be having a lot of time together” -he says in a teasy way, I can tell I'm blushing from his reaction.

“Yeah we want to enjoy each other company for as long as the experiment lasts” -Connor tells Carlos with confidence in his voice.

At that moment if I was red before now I'm melting, most likely he just said that to scrap Carlos from us but the comment still lifts me off the ground.

“That's the spirit mate lets enjoy this for while it last, at least i'm enjoying all the food I can have before we go back to training” - he says accentuating the comment slapping his gut.

“Also, we can go to the recreation room afterwards. Some guys and I managed to move one of the soda fountains there and its bottomless pop for everyone!”

After that he walked back to the massive table and his new friend started to cheer him up, apparently he is competing with somebody, and they were waiting on him.

“Wow Carlos has really gained a lot of weight, and he is now in the same shirt size as Bradley from the looks of it” -I said.

Connor wasn't paying much attention while eating his food with a big grin on his face. I remained looking at him, waiting for a reaction and in two solid minutes he moaned, grunted with a piece of meat and licked his fingers from the sauce.

I try to remain cool when he noticed me staring and asked.

“Oh you said something sorry; the food today is just really good. Have you tried the new sweet buns they are to die for” -he said while biting one and putting one of his in my tray.

I saw it and a feeling of desperate hunger filled my mind, as if I hadn't eaten half a plate of food at that point. I look back at Connor and see his shirt straining for dear life, his pants with some open seams on the sides and his belly resetting on the table. First, all I can think is how cute he looks, all happy and full. How I want to cuddle next to him and share the meal.

Secondly, I think . . . What is going on? This is affecting him as well.

My heart sank for a second and I can feel myself getting anxious, all the ideas of what's going on get in my head. Is this hypnosis, an additive on the food maybe a virus spreading?. Before I can think too much about it, the table with the cadets gets louder and puts my attention back on the chow hall for a second.

In the table the cadets are cheering over Salazar, Bradley and Carlos, the last ones standing.

They look about ready to pop with taunted bellies on top of the tables, in a split second Bradley’s pants split open and he holds his belly; with one last moan he gives up. Salazar looks upon Carlos and tries to speed up for a last effort and Carlos keeps going strong. For a second they both stop and everyone can hear the gurgling of their stuffed bellies till Carlos leans back and belches and keeps going like nothing happened. Salazar is surprised but proud in a weird way and he gives up.

I excuse myself from Connor “I'm going to the bathroom I don't feel so well” -I lie and stand up towards the door.

“Oh do you need me to get you something from the infirmary?”

I feel a bit better knowing he is more attentive when it comes to me, but my calmness doesn't last long.

While they cheer and shout, the chair holding Carlos snaps and everyone bursts into laughter. The thing that gets me cold is that Carlos sits down, he gets the scraps of the chair off of him and starts to grab more food from the table in front of him and continues with his own personal challenge.

“Oh no I just need to go, be right back in a second” -after replying I hurry for the door and get in the nearest bathroom

Water splashes my face and I look towards the mirror in front of me. I need to figure out what's going on. My belly rumbles protesting over the unfinished meal and with this clarity I can see I have grown. I've also gained some weight in the last days, I was so focused on helping Connor deal with this I ignored the effect this is having on me.

My clothes are hugging my body as well, I can grab my sides and feel love handles forming. even my face looks fuller. I grind my teeth in anger, I can't allow this to happen. My family needs this to work, I need this to work!

I will just seclude myself, stay away from the rest of the team as planned and wait for the storm to pass. But in the blur of the past few days I have lost track of time, it's been a month maybe two? I'm not too sure. We haven't received news from the scientist, we don't know how long thighs will take.  

And after thinking of how desperate this whole thing truly is, the idea of pushing Connor aside for the sake of keeping myself out of the reach of whatever this is makes me want to push the mirror in front of me into pieces.

He has been with me this whole time; I care for him and deep down I know I want him by my side. And even if he doesn't feel the same way about me, just having him with me would be enough. I don't know what to do.

I get one last splash of water and get out of the bathroom; I don't get too far till I see Connor walking around looking for something. My first instinct is to go towards him, but I stop myself, maybe the best would be to go in the opposite direction. My hesitation is my downfall in a way because he sees me and walks toward me.

“Hey Will, how are you feeling? you were taking a second and got worried about you”- he looks legit worried, and I can feel my resolve trembling.

His blue eyes are focused on me, they can see right through my worries, just the way mine could see through his fears days ago.

“I know what you are going through. Will, I was also worried about it. And it's just like you said, we will beat this together”

“Connor!, you saw Carlos there. He was thinner than me when we got here and looked at us. We are not beating this!”

“I know what you mean but there . . .”

“Don't even try to pretend it's not happening Connor! I don't know what's happening but whatever it is, it's getting to us as well. Look at me, look at you! We are just eating more every day, allowing everyone else to sink further in and trying not thinking about it”

He looks down with a pained expression as a kid that gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“We can't ignore it, it's true. Whatever is going on is affecting us as well” -he said looking straight into my eyes.

“I was trying to protect myself as much as I could, hoping the military would never do something against their own, hoping this was not the end of our dream, hoping we could all go back to the way things were. But the more we remained stuck here the farthest it felt, I was so worried about keeping a sense of normalcy I forgot to keep an eye on you”

“You’ve been worried about me all this time haven't you Will?”

He got closer to me, and he is now right in front of me.

I'm trembling from the anxiety, the fear of what's going to happen to us, but also from the anguish I get from hearing these words from Connor. He knows I've been putting my all for him, to keep him smiling regardless of all, but after all this posturing and fight we are doomed. And what do I have to show for it?

“I was scared and confused of what to do, but having you by my side has made this easier to deal with. All of it” -he point out while putting a hand on his belly

I look at him with tears fighting to roll my cheeks, but I keep a strong front. For the two of us I try to convince myself still, and he continues.

“There are days where I forget we are in this mess, where it's only you and me against the world and everything is fine. I just have fun with you, nothing worries me or makes me feel self conscious. You are my best friend, with you I feel like I am fully open and understood” - after finishing that line he holds my hand.

I feel my heart racing and brace for whatever he will say. Before that point I was worried about how I'm responsible for enabling some of the things that happened in this experiment, even with Connor. But at that point all I think is “I would do it again if it means keeping you happy and safe”. But a wall in my head keeps me from admitting a life of buffet lines and Hawaiian shirts is a fair share to keep him for myself.

I want to say so many things like “I want more than being by your side” or “I'm not only your best friend” but instead I blur out

“I saw you all growing, I allowed it all to get worse. And a part of me wanted to give in and just be by your side but I'm scared”

He looks at me and he is about to say something but I cut him.

“I've felt the same way you did ok . . . just living the days not thinking about the details. I needed to get shocked by the group today to realize how far we have gone in all of this. We are too far gone and I don't know if we will all just wake up one day and think, why did we allow this to get so out of hand”

At that point the tears fill my eyes and I feel my face get hot

“I can withstand everyone else's scrutiny but what if after all of this is said and done, you blame me for this, or you don't want the version of me that I become?”

Im full on crying and Connor puts his hand on my face and wipes the tears from my eyes and says

“Nobody has the right to blame you for this Connor, especially not me. And most importantly, I will always be by your side Will, I like you the way you are and the way you will be. Because no matter, it will be you”

After that my walls are crumbling and the last glimpses of courage I have, come to my chest. I will bite the bullet, my plan for the rest of this experiment will depend on how he responds to this. I take a step back and say.

“You must know by now I like you Connor. No, I don't just like you, I love you. And even with the changes I love you still”

I look at him with a stern look in my face I must look crazy with red cheeks and teary eyes, I braces for impact but instead he gets closer to me again and said

“I was hoping you would say that, cause I've been feeling that way for a long time now”

And that all it took me to forget the worries and danger, I kissed him deeply and hugged him hoping the moment lasted forever.

Our heavier bodies clashed with one another in a way I never imagined and to be honest I liked it. It feels like the final piece of the puzzle landed in its place. We looked into each other's eyes and we had a soft laugh while we got our composure back.

“You don't know for how long I've been waiting for this” -Connor said with the widest smile, his face looking as red as mine.

“Since when?”

“You had me with the hi at the bus on bootcamp”

“Shut up!” -I reply feeling my head about to explode

“I've been waiting for you to see me the same way I see you, you got me scared for a second thinking it wouldn't happen. But you have better taste than to leave happiness escape your grasp” -he winks my way with a cheeky look

“Oh so you will keep me happy then?”

I lean more against him and instinctively press his side. he struggles to hold what I can only assume is a moan and he compose himself to reply

“I will keep you happy till your last day”

He then pressed himself more against me and gently rubbed my sides, I felt the heat spread around me and I know why he was holding up.

We exchange passionate looks and kiss again. When our kiss is over, we can feel each other's excitement but decide to leave it for a more private place.

“We’ll have a conversation about this later but if we are going to allow this situation on bootcamp to continue and date at the same time then you deserve to know”

I see him looking at the floor and then gathering strength to explain.

“There is another reason I remain quiet about what's going on, a little after the situation with the commander I started to gain some weight and I couldn't deny something was up. And after the infirmary I realized there was nothing we could do about it. Adding to that . . . I was having some new feelings toward my figure. It wasn't fear but I actually liked how the extra weight felt on me”

He paused to look at me and in an anxious tone and he continued.

“I know it sounds weird! but I started to enjoy the weight, it made me feel. . . Comfortable? strong? It's hard to describe really”

“Its ok Connor I’m happy to hear you are not uncomfortable with it”

I can hear my own voice saying “Coward '', I've been digging his bigger look the more time we spent here but I'm scared of him getting weirded out by it. and the perfect opening comes and I say that?

“There is also something else, I think you look good with the added weight and I don't mind . . . to indulge more if you are ok with that” -he said and my brain melted into nothing, but my inner voice finally came back to say.

Speak up you fool!

“Well we are doing this then. I've been also struggling in the past few days”

He looks at my puzzle and it dawns on him what I mean.

“While I didnt notice my own weight, I did notice I find you all the more attractive with the new size. I didn't want to bring it up in fears of well everything bursting in my face”

Connor looked at me and an idea came to him, he put his hand in my belly and started to rub it.

“Oh so you haven't thought about your own weight at all?”

Between the shock of Connor being this forward and the embarrassment of someone pointing out my growing middle there was something else. My pants are tenting and the warm tingle of excitement invades my body.

He looks at me as if he discovered El Dorado and I feel myself melt in his embrace as he goes from my belly to my sides and then my thighs. I remind him we agreed not to do more in the open, but I also said

“Ok even if I wasn't thinking about iit before I do now. So, What do we do about it?”

“Well it's like you said, we are too far gone to start losing the weight, not to mention I don't think we can anymore”

Both our middle grumbles like clockwork and my resolve is set.

“Ok then, Would you mind coming with me to the chow hall? I have a meal to finish” -I say with a cheeky grin

“Oh look at who has a quick recovery haha, of course Will, lets go”

When we got to the chow hall we continued our food, we stayed at our table away from the group to talk in private. We left our new attraction as a future topic and agreed to try to bond again with the rest of the team.

We ate to our hearts content for the first time in ages and laughed the rest of the night, we got to the barracks and moved our beds to be beside each other and went to sleep looking in each other direction and for that moment the world was ok.

The next morning we both woke up and moved to the chow hall, where we saw the twins and Neil getting things ready for the meal ahead. We got closer to then and Connor asked

“Hey guys, would you mind if we join you for breakfast?”

Neil looked pleased but the twins were bursting in excitement.

“Of course, dudes come on! we’ve been waiting for you all to join at last” -said Jones.

“Yeah, took you all enough, you were looking a bit famish till now” -Said Daniel.

We look at him in disbelief and he started to laugh

“Ok ok I know, I didn't make the option of joining any easier”

He then slapped his gutt and looked as confident as I remember him from before the experiment, if not even more.

“Butt you will see how some extra meat is good for us all”

Connor and I were in shock to see Daniel acknowledge his weight so openly but it encouraged us to keep with our choice.

We got our portions and sat on the table, Connor and I joked all the way about how our mothers would scream if they saw us eating this much.

Once we got seated people started to enter the chow hall and join us for breakfast. Having the whole team eating together felt different than eating on our table alone but also it's not the same as what we did at base before the experiment.

The joy from everyone is palpable, the excuse of eating to one's fullest allowed the most introverted members of the team to open up. The more competitive to test their limits with the food challenges and people like Bradley and Salazar with a talent for leadership to just take reign and lead everyone into more food.

When Bradley and salazar showed up they noticed us and immediately seated besides us

“Hey Will, I knew you would get the benefits of some bulk sooner or later hehe”

Salazar said while putting his arm around me and squishing me in a massive hug

Bradley was assaulting Connor with the same affection and I asked

“Thanks for the warm welcome Sal, I'm sorry if I was acting a bit stuck up before. It was just weird to see . . . how”

“How have we all fattened up?”

I must have looked like a weird tomato cause he started to laugh and continued

“Dont worry Will, we all have made our peace about it”

“Wait, what do you mean, all of us?”

“It's hard to gain over 300 pounds and not notice some changes you know, Bradley and I noticed there was something going on but no way to explain it or to stop it. After some time we just started to enjoy the changes and well we rode the high till now”

he noticed I was about to ask for more and he continued

“Besides that everyday cadets would come to us to complain of the tardiness during meals or others feeling anxious about their weights so we decided to help then easy up on their fears and feel more comfortable with themselves”

“Don't you think you made the situation worse then?”

“You think so?” -he said looking at me legitimately unsure but with a hint of easiness on his face

“I think if there was no way to stop our weight we might as well enjoy it while we can, besides we can always diet once this is over, besides from what I heard you recommended Daniel to tag along with Neil and Jones. If I did things worse for everyone then you also pushed Daniel right?” -he said while eating some pork chops.

I was about to reply feeling the anger and doubt cloud my head, but he started to laugh

“hahaha it's ok Will, none of us was forced to do this. You didn't force feed Daniel and I certainly haven't forced you to eat here today”

My head got clear again and I added

“I guess you are right, so you've been helping everyone feel more at ease with these then?”

I see some of myself in Salazar after that, while he was trying to protect everyone from their own fears I was doing the same with Connor and my close circle.

“Yeah and well I can't deny I like the food, the company and the added benefits!” -he said holding his belly and jiggling it.

I’m flabbergasted and he looks at me with a grin that shines with charisma.

“Come on tell me you haven't enjoyed a bit how it feels” -he says poking my belly.

When I'm about to fight against the comment I see how everyone else is enjoying their meals to the fullest. How Connor is enjoying the conversation with Bradley like old times, the twins are making a ruckus on the other side of the table while Neil cheers them on and I realize that I've been denying myself the chance to share with them due to my own walls.

“Yes I did noticed, Me and Connor for that matter”

he looks at me in the eyes and smiles.

“Well then don't just stay there, enjoy it to the fullest. Eat, laugh and make all the memories you can. Once this is over we can think of changes but for now there is food and friends” -he adds while patting my back and going back to his own feast.

When Bradley refocuses on his food I nudge Connor and we exchange details from our conversations. Bradley was more than happy to share with Connor that he’s been dating Salazar for a while now. They also touched on the new found appreciation of their increasing waist lines and unlike me Connor was more open to share his opinions on the matter with him. Or more his questions on how they came to terms with it.

I added my part of the story and we both looked towards Salazar and Bradley in a different light, they basked in each other's company, supported if not encouraged the change between them and took the time to support the rest of the camp.

After a massive breakfast we moved to try and help with some tasks and did some exercise, not out of a desire to evade what's going on but out of our own natural wishes. Not a worry in sight.

After lunch we got to the recreation room and Carlos clashes with us in the entrance

“Hi dude we are going to make the line to play, so get ready for us”

“Will! Connor! nonsense come on you haven't played here in ages!” -he replied while hugging us and pulling us into the room, cutting through the packed room. I hold Connor’s hand to keep him close.

Once fully inside there was Hill directing the activities and munching on some fries.

“Hey guys, what brings you here? Also Carlos you own me a fortune once we get out”

“Yeah yeah I know”

We look puzzled and they add.

“I bet you would join in before the end of the experiment and added that you would booth end up together” -Hill said with confidence in his words.

Since we got inside the room, we’ve remained with our hands entangled.

We realize and blush a bit, but we do confirm that we are together.

They both cheer for us and Hill teases Carlos over how much he will pay him with the extras.

They seem so close and playful I ask “Since when you two are together then?”

They look at us and Carlos laughs while Hill just has a comprehensive smile.

“I told you it was a matter of time for someone to ask dude” -Said Carlos

“I guess, I'm just happy it was them and not the twins” -Hill added.

They started to explore the possibility of being more than friends for a while, but it became more concrete after they joined Salazar’s table.

Hill was more relaxed than ever and Carlos had free reign to do as he pleased including sending his advances to his oldest friend. So they made it official and started to fool around.

“It wasn't a mayor secret, we just don't want people being nosey” -said Hill with a mean look.

“Sorry” -I said nervously.

“No don't worry, I mean more then twins or Bradley haha” -Hill replayed.

We spent most of the day playing and talking with the cadets that came in and out of the room as the controller rotated, Hill looked in his element directing people around for the rotations and Carlos kept the energy of the room up to the max. Whenever people were busy playing or debating over a move in a game, they would softly rub each other's side, trade a quick kiss or tease one another like in the good old times. They really look happier than ever.

We smacked during the whole evening and by the end of it I was stuffed to the brim. But at the mention of dinner my stomach gurgles all the same.

One in the chow hall the food competition started and the loud cheer of people took hold of the room. Connor and I decided it was a bit much for us now but at the comment of Neil we decided we could try and see which of us could eat the fastest. I think Connor was full from the snacks since I beat him with flying colors. We laughed and enjoyed the energy of the room till the night was over.

Once in the barracks we decided to move our beds together like some other couples have done and we spent our first night sharing the bed.

We traded glances and smiled while we whispered what we wanted to do the next day.

In the infatuation we explored each other's bodies, while the warmth of the moment swept through us Connor pulled out a protein bar from his bag beside the bed looking at me with a wicked grin he started to eat, rubbing his belly in the process.

All the blood from my brain went to my dick at that moment but I realized I could allow him to just melt me into nothingness without a fair fight so I leaned against him pressing my body against his, and bit the other end of the bar.

He looked at me impressed and we continued to munch as we allowed our hands to play with the other's expanding body. When we were done we were both covered in crumbs and sharing a kiss.

After that we settle in bed and fall asleep in our sweet embrace.

We spent the rest of our days at the camp hanging out with the rest of the team and indulging in the free time, a few weeks later we got a letter from the scientific team saying the experiment would end and they are sending a support team to review the facility and bring us some extra supplements before going out of base.

We all secretly wondered what would happen once they saw our new sizes but before the fear could get the best of me I felt Connors presence beside me, and I knew we would be ok.

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Journal of Dr. Vincent Belmore

The testing of the new Biochemical compound “Sagina01” was a complete success. This virus will be of great use by the military as a bioweapon to subside enemy camps and in extreme cases full communities.

Our expectations of the speed of action of the compound were in line with the simulations done by our team. After the controlled infection of a single cadet, it took 2 month for the whole base to be infected and less than 4 weeks after that for the whole base to be in the last phase of the infection.

The virus multiples and takes strength in the fatty cells of the host, taking several routes to ensure the increase of those cells. It gets into the host’s brain and enhances the dopamine release while resting, eating and overall gaining weight. boosting the signals received from the taste receptors making everything have a stronger taste than before. But most importantly exponentially increasing the production of Ghrelin, the hunger hormone. driving the patient into eating frenzies.

By providing the patients with unlimited resources they all consumed as much as they could handle. A notable discovery is the secondary effects of elasticity in the stomach and overall health benefits. The patients seem to show better blood pressure, lung capacity, muscle strength and elasticity than the average man of their sizes. This could be due to the virus trying to optimize its survival, by improving its host likelihood of survival. This symbiotic relationship will be studied in future cases.

It spreads via body fluid and is highly contagious, a single droplet of saliva or sweat with enough time will be enough to start a contagion. The virus rewires the patients towards physical contact and intimate encounters. During the experiment several of our patients engage into physical display of affection even those who were documented as straight before the experiment.

This has sparked interest with our higher ups to study in more detail the behavioral effects of the virus.

With the end of the experiment, we gave every cadet a dose of the cure and a discharge notice from the military since they are no longer fit for the job. Of course, to keep our experiment and its dubious methods under wraps we provided every subject a substantial payment as a parting gift for their good service. Hopefully after enough money for them to retire in their 20’s they won't have too many questions. After seeing the checks none of them seem to care about military life.  

To justify the price of the experiment we will continue to check the patients in hopes of finding new data of relevance once they have been cured.

I will be continuing my experiments until further notice.

End of entry.

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Hi everyone, Welcome to the final Chapter of the main story of Expanding Bootcamp. I hope you all enjoyed the story so far and feel excited about more to come with the military plans. Next week we will have an indulgent epilogue with our boys after the bootcamp so be ready for it!

What would you like to see next?

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[imagobin]

⚪Johnathon Ohnn/The Spot Dad HCs⚫

Currently writing this while feeling horrible cause low blood pressure's a bitch. So to comfort myself, I decided to try and imagine what it'd be like to be The Spot's adoptive child, enjoy my sillies.

Pre-Collider

A Change of Opinion:

Johnathon always said to himself he wasn't a children man, he wasn't made to be a father; not to mention how anxious kids made him. They're too unpredictable, too hard to read, and what if he ever made one cry accidentally?! He couldn't handle that embarrassment, not at all.

That was until you came into his life. It felt like a switch immediately flipped in his brain and his dormant fatherly instincts just awakened, and since you had nowhere else to go back to, he decided to take you in.

Parenting:

Despite always being swamped with work, Johnathon does his best to take time off and take care of you.

He pays a lot of attention to what you like, and makes sure to surprise you by buying your favorite games/toys/books etc. or cooking your favorite dish.

Johnathon is always careful not to leave any dangerous devices or projects he might be working on around; he could never forgive himself if you were to get hurt because of them.

However, he also loves showing you how his inventions work, and he loves even more how your eyes sparkle with curiosity and wonder whenever he shares his passions with you. He feels proud.

One thing Johnathon always refuses to do however, is taking you to his workplace, deeming it too dangerous for a child, even if he knows you're a good kid and would never wander off on your own and disturb other people's work. When he needs to be at Alchemax, he hires a babysitter to keep you entertained while he's gone, and always makes it up to you later by buying you something he knows you'll like.

Post-Collider

Panic:

After the collider collapsed and Johnathon was turned into The Spot, his first thought was how you'd react to that. It sent him into a panic, what if you couldn't recognize him? What if he scared you? But he couldn't abandon you, that was absolutely out of the question.

So he came back home, like any normal evening, trying his very best to hide his face, but against all his best efforts, you noticed just how different he looked.

Against all odds however, you weren't scared of him. You could obviously tell he looked different, but he was still the same person who took care of you like a child of his own for all that time, so things did not change all that much.

He was extremely relieved about it, and was even more surprised when you started calling him a superhero since now he had very cool and funny powers.

Present day:

He's managed to find a job that he can work remotely from, hitting two birds with one stone: firstly, he doesn't have to deal with people judging him for how he looks now, and secondly, now that he works from home he's got a lot more time to dedicate to you.

Johnathon is also a lot more confident with his powers, and likes bringing you to all your favorite places since it literally takes him no time.

Johnathon is firmly convinced you're the only reason he didn't turn into a villain. Your happiness and how pridefully you like to announce to anyone that he's the coolest super-dad ever just fills his heart with joy.

---

[thedaswolves]

"Interview with the vampire" book chapters that inspired episode titles 💕

"He stepped close to my bed and leaned down so that his face was in the lamplight, and I saw that he was no ordinary man at all. His gray eyes burned with an incandescence, and the long white hands which hung by his sides were not those of a human being. I think I knew everything in that instant, and all that he told me was only aftermath. What I mean is, the moment I saw him, saw his extraordinary aura and knew him to be no creature I’d ever known, I was reduced to nothing. That ego which could not accept the presence of an extraordinary human being in its midst was crushed. All my conceptions, even my guilt and wish to die, seemed utterly unimportant. I completely forgot myself!” he said, now silently touching his breast with his fist. “I forgot myself totally. And in the same instant knew totally the meaning of possibility. From then on I experienced only increasing wonder. As he talked to me and told me of what I might become, of what his life had been and stood to be, my past shrank to embers."

"I know that after leaving you, I shall try to find out. I’ll travel the world, if I have to, to find other vampires. I know they must exist; I don’t know of any reasons why they shouldn’t exist in great numbers. And I’m confident I shall find vampires who have more in common with me than I with you. Vampires who understand knowledge as I do and have used their superior vampire nature to learn secrets of which you don’t even dream. If you haven’t told me everything, I shall find things out for myself or from them, when I find them. He shook his head. ‘Louis!’ he said. ‘You are in love with your mortal nature! You chase after the phantoms of your former self. Freniere, his sister…these are images for you of what you were and what you still long to be. And in your romance with mortal life, you’re dead to your vampire nature!’"

“I went down into the street after Lestat and walked for blocks. The streets were muddy then, the actual blocks islands above the gutters, and the entire city so dark compared to the cities of today. The lights were as beacons in a black sea. Even with morning rising slowly, only the dormers and high porches of the houses were emerging from the dark, and to a mortal man the narrow streets I found were like pitch. Am I damned? Am I from the devil? Is my very nature that of a devil? I was asking myself over and over. And if it is, why then do I revolt against it, tremble when Babette hurls a flaming lantern at me, turn away in disgust when Lestat kills? What have I become in becoming a vampire? Where am I to go? And all the while, as the death wish caused me to neglect my thirst, my thirst grew hotter; my veins were veritable threads of pain in my flesh; my temples throbbed; and finally I could stand it no longer."

"She forgot her five years of mortal life at once, or so it seemed, for she was mysteriously quiet. And from time to time I even feared that she had lost all sense, that the illness of her mortal life, combined with the great vampire shock, might have robbed her of reason; but this proved hardly the case. She was simply unlike Lestat and me to such an extent I couldn’t comprehend her; for little child she was, but also fierce killer now capable of the ruthless pursuit of blood with all a child’s demanding. And though Lestat still threatened me with danger to her, he did not threaten her at all but was loving to her, proud of her beauty, anxious to teach her that we must kill to live and that we ourselves could never die."

"You killed me,’ she whispered. ‘You took my life!’.  ‘Yes,’ I said to her, holding her so that I could feel her heart pounding. ‘Rather, I tried to take it. To drink it away. But you had a heart like no other heart I’ve ever felt, a heart that beat and beat until I had to let you go, had to cast you away from me lest you quicken my pulse till I would die. And it was Lestat who found me out; Louis the sentimentalist, the fool, feasting on a golden-haired child, a Holy Innocent, a little girl. He brought you back from the hospital where they’d put you, and I never knew what he meant to do except teach me my nature. “Take her, finish it,” he said. And I felt that passion for you again. Oh, I know I’ve lost you now forever. I can see it in your eyes! You look at me as you look on mortals, from aloft, from some region of cold self-sufficiency I can’t understand. But I did it. I felt it for you again, a vile unsupportable hunger for your hammering heart, this cheek, this skin."

 "I stared at him for a moment. And then I said it, lifting my hand to make the Sign of the Cross. ‘Bless me, father, for I have sinned, sinned so often and so long I do not know how to change, nor how to confess before God what I’ve done.’ - ‘Son, God is infinite in His capacity to forgive,’ he whispered to me. ‘Tell Him in the best way you know how and from your heart.’ - ‘Murders, father, death after death. The woman who died two nights ago in Jackson Square, I killed her, and thousands of others before her, one and two a night, father, for seventy years. I have walked the streets of New Orleans like the Grim Reaper and fed on human life for my own existence. I am not mortal, father, but immortal and damned, like angels put in hell by God. I am a vampire."

“He had ceased to move. He lay now on his back. And his entire body was shrivelling, drying up, the skin thick and wrinkled, and so white that all the tiny veins showed through it. I gasped, but I could not take my eyes off it, even as the shape of the bones began to show through, his lips drawing back from his teeth, the flesh of his nose drying to two gaping holes. But his eyes, they remained the same, staring wildly at the ceiling, the irises dancing from side to side, even as the flesh cleaved to the bones, became nothing but a parchment wrapping for the bones, the clothes hollow and limp over the skeleton that remained. Finally the irises rolled to the top of his head, and the whites of his eyes went dim. The thing lay still. A great mass of wavy blond hair, a coat, a pair of gleaming boots; and this horror that had been Lestat, and I staring helplessly at it.”

[viivdle]

it's been a long time coming..

Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Jurdan's Version) with @annamatix <3

part 1!!

"I, I loved you in secret" is one of the many lyrics you don't need to use metaphorically for them to fit. he *did* love her in secret, and he hid his feelings with every action he took.

"First sight, yeah, we love without reason" we get a description of what he noticed first when he saw jude, and he was (very obviously, might i add) star struck. he didn't have a reason to be attracted to her. if anything, it was the opposite. his whole life he was taught to hate mortals and find them repulsing, but something about her was different.

"Oh, how were you to know?" i think sometimes cardan regrets his actions. he would do it again just to have the same outcome - being with jude. but i think he regrets how long it took because it cost them valuable time together. even after his feelings were clear, he did things that prolonged the time until they got to openly confess their love.

"And my, my love had been frozen" with everything in his life growing up, nobody reciprocated the love he tried to give, so he locked his heart away the best he could. he tried to freeze it so it wouldn't get hurt, but people still found ways to shatter it.

"Deep blue, but you painted me golden" cardan had a horrible life, nobody needs reminders of it. it's in everything he says and does. she ultimately saved his life in more ways than one. this can also be taken literally. "but you painted me golden" fits the scene in which jude struck him and smeared gold over his face, but that's just a funny thing to add. another way to interpret it (i'm already getting unhinged with this) is that he was with nicasia before he was with jude. not only were they bad together, which painted him blue, but nicasia is the princess of the undersea, nicasia is the deep blue that was replaced with gold, jude.

"Oh, and you held me close. Oh, how was I to know?" it's no secret that jude can lie. and that she takes great advantage of that ability. even after everything, i think cardan still had doubts about her love for him because she *could* be lying. he's very self-destructive and thinks little to nothing of himself. "it is a shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous thing" is only one of the many admissions to it, verbal or not. while he knows jude loves him, but can't be certain.

"I could've spent forever with your hands in my pockets" screams cardan. he thought he was uncapable of being loved, and she proved him otherwise. he loves with all he has and all he can give, and when he got a taste of what it was like to be loved, he never wanted to let it go again. he would've spent forever with her hands in his pockets, and he would've been happy to do so.

"Picture of your face in an invisible locket" i love love LOVE this lyric, and cardan would too. as i said, he loves with all his might, and he proudly does so. he would 100% wear a locket with a picture of jude in it, nobody questions that. he would love it even more if the locket was invisible to show everyone who has his heart. in the standards elfhame sets, he shouldn't feel proud to love a mortal. he is anyway and after finding out how it feels to love her, he stops caring about it and he would scream it from the top of every building in the kingdom.

"You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it" need i remind everyone of when he was a serpent and knew nothing, not even himself (yes, i'm repeating myself again) but he knew jude? nothing in the world could stop his love for her, literally. and it most definitely something he'd admit to jude.

"I had a bad feeling" has so many meanings for me, looking at it and trying to connect it to cardan. literally, hate is a bad feeling - and he felt it for jude. a lot. cardan, despite his very inflated seeming ego, is extremely anxious when it comes to jude. not only is she the only family he has left, she's the only family he ever had. yes, he had his court. yes, he had a complex relationship with the people in it. yes, said relationship also included love. but no, it was never pure love. jude and cardan's story is anything but pure. it's tainted, bloody, cursed... but their love? it's the purest love in his life.

i know this is very, very long, and i doubt anyone's read it - but stay tuned for the rest of my version and anna's post on her account<33