#who's times aren't listed online and they don't even have an extension so i have to go through the main office every single time

[haniawritesthings]

ah the irony of it being near impossible to get a hold of the accessibility office

[neolithicsheep]

I've been meaning to write this down for some time because there are some fundamental errors that people keep making in crowdfunding/sales that shoot their campaigns in the foot. So here's a list of easy principles.

Who am I and why should you listen to me? I am a freelance chaos marketer who has raised well over $100,000 when totaling up various crowdfunding campaigns, mostly for aid to Afghanistan. In addition I've managed to successfully market everything from stuffed plush koalas to hydration salts. Why am I putting this out here for free? Because despite a years long track record of success in social media marketing no one will hire me because I don't have a college degree, so I might as well help people out who can't afford to hire full time marketing. 

If you'd like to hire me to help you evaluate your marketing and sales and teach you better skills on a 1 to 1 basis then hit me up, I am often willing to barter, esp with artists in a variety of mediums! 

Anyway on to HOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE TO GIVE YOU MONEY:

TL;DR: use positive messaging that humanizes everyone involved and make it as easy as possible for people to give you money.

1. Shame and guilt are demotivators. They will not inspire people to give you money. “Why aren't people helping” “I guess people don't care” “This isn't getting enough shares/donations” etc etc. Online fundraising is often frustrating, heartbreaking, and will make you angry, especially when there's a humanitarian crisis involved. It is critical that if you are raising funds for someone else that you have a place to vent that is not the audience you would like to donate to the cause. 

2. Use motivating messages instead! “You can help!” “Even a small donation is important because it tells Recipient they're not alone, and people care” “We can't fix the whole world, but we can make this one thing right, and that means something”. Emphasize that this is a problem that the reader can help fix with even a small effort. With items for sale, tell a story. "I drew this thinking about how safe I always felt under a tree in my childhood backyard". "I chose the colors in this shawl to remind me of sagebrush and piñon pine in my favorite place."

3. Make it easy for people to give you money. Never talk about your product or cause without a link that leads directly to where people can give you money. They should be able to click one link on your post and land at the fundraiser or your shop. Every required click is going to lose people, so minimize the number of them required. This also means if you have a list of fundraisers for people to choose from the ones at the bottom will be neglected - people will hit the ones at the top. Be sure to take those off when they're met or periodically shuffle the list around to make sure everyone gets a chance to be in the first 5 spots. In online stores people will often only look at the first page or two of items so be sure to shuffle things around and remove out of stock items that are taking up prime real estate.

4. Humanize the recipient - this can be tricksy when raising charitable aid because you don't want to be exploitative. But to use my last Afghan campaign as an example, “We need to raise $500 for an Afghan family” is less effective than “This Afghan family's home was damaged in heavy rains that caused extensive flooding. They only need $500 to repair and rebuild so they can stay in their home and not become displaced.”  If possible, tell as much of the recipient's story as they consent to. Eg “Fred is seven and loves dinosaurs. His favorite is brontosaurus, and he carries a stuffed one with him everywhere. He wants to be a paleontologist when he grows up and discover a complete brontosaurus skeleton that he can give the same name as his stuffed friend. Unfortunately he's also a trans boy living in Texas and his family needs $1500 to rent a Uhaul and get to Colorado so he can grow up in safety and do that.”

5. If you're not the recipient, humanize yourself while you're at it! “I'd be really grateful if you all could share or donate” “This fundraiser really means a lot to me because…” “Thank you so much for any help, whether sharing or donating” 

6. Treat the audience like humans. Speak to them like they are people you're having a conversation with, not ATMs. This ultimately is the goal of not using shame/guilt and humanizing yourself and the recipient. 

7. Set low goals and bump them up when met. One of the weird things about people is they prefer to give to successful fundraisers. Yeah I don't know either. So you're more likely to get the full amount you need if you set a partial goal initially and then raise it when that's met. Raise it in small increments and raise it repeatedly as those goals are hit to keep momentum going. You can't always control this so if you're boosting someone else's fundraiser you can do it artificially via asks like “Hey y'all can we get together and put $500 on this?”

[diana-fortyseven]

I think it's time to share a secret with you: you don't have to see things you don't want to see on the internet.

Shocking, I know.

Most sites give you fairly decent tools to avoid concepts, topics, or people you don't like, and you should totally use them.

The smutty fanfic that makes you uncomfortable because it contradicts your headcanon for your favourite character? It's rated "explicit". If you click on it anyway and get angry? That's on you.

The AO3 author who keeps publishing smutty fanfics that make you uncomfortable because you don't even want to see the summaries of fics that have this one character fucking? Adjust your filters to only show you works that are rated "for general audiences" or "teen and up".

The AO3 author makes you angry now because they published so many fics you don't want to see? Mute the author. You'll never have to see any of their works ever again.

You also don't want them to interact with your fics? Block them too.

The Tumblr user who wants to see their favourite characters fuck? You can block them. It's fine. You don't need to see their posts.

Many Tumblr users want to see their favourite characters fuck? You can just filter the tags they use for talking about wanting to see their favourite characters fuck. You don't need to go into these fandoms' tags to complain about people enjoying themselves in a way you don't enjoy. The way they do fandom isn't about you. If you don't like what you see, don't go there.

I know that the tools these sites give you aren't perfect.

Tumblr for example still shows you that posts with tags you filtered exist, and you still have to scroll past them. Sometimes you don't want to block a user, you just don't want to see this one specific post or fic all the time. If you filter out a lot of things on AO3, it can be annoying to enter these filters every single time you want to browse your fandoms.

Good thing that using the internet on desktop opens a whole new world of browser extensions and user scripts for you!

Make Tumblr posts with certain tags or even words in the body of the post disappear completely? Possible with this script here. Make just this one post you hate so much disappear? Possible with this script here. Make just this one fic you hate so much disappear? Possible with this script here. Save AO3 filters? Possible with this script here.

I have this extensive collection of my favourite browser extensions and user scripts for fanfic sites on my Dreamwidth.

They're sorted by site, which makes it easier to find what you're looking for. All of them are free. Most of them can just be installed as is. If you need help with one of them you need to edit a little, let me know. I'll happily walk you through or give you the snippet of code you need to make it do what you want it to do.

Curate your own online experience. Other people on the internet aren't responsible for your decision to keep walking into spaces you don't want to be in. You can't demand that others censor themselves because you don't understand the concept of Just Not Reading Something.

(And honestly, even if you already knew that other people on the internet aren't your babysitters, you should check out my list of scripts! They're fucking amazing! :D)

[sunnywalnut]

As someone who *was* a Helluva Boss fan for a really long time because of the obvious love and care that was put into the show by the animators and voice actors.... I really can't overlook the kind of things that Vivian has done.

And honestly?

Knowing that all of the money from views, likes, media, merch and so on goes into her pocket (and NONE of the people that actually put in the work to CREATE the show) just horrifies me to no end.

I know that all of us have heard about her tyrades on Twitter, or her tearing apart critics and cursing them out, or just her all around messy and rude attitude towards everyone and anyone who pokes even a LITTLE fun at her(like that one video of "The Amazing Digital Circus If It Was Written By Vivziepop). I know that we've all heard about it. And a lot of us have already made up our minds about her. Good or bad.

But the fact of the matter is that a lot of us don't have the full story. And for me, it was because a lot of it was either conspiracy, treated as a one off thing, or just an assholeish thing that happened years ago. And her fans defending her poor behavior and claiming she's apologized for it or that it's "okay" because she's been through trauma haven't really helped.

Plus. I'm a firm believer that you shouldn't have to put that much extensive research into figuring out if the person you are supporting(through watching videos, buying merch, etc etc) is a good person or not.

Which is why I want to share with you all a link to a post I found on Twitter. A compiled list of evidence of things that Vivziepop has said or done without additional commentary(besides simply just labeling what the screenshots consist of) so everyone can make their own decisions on what they want to believe or not.

I for one am not the kind of guy to care about what kind of things you do with fictional characters(or at least. What you write with them. All of us are capable of writing shitty stories and posting them online) and honestly? I don't care about what personal things you have going on in your life.

A lot of people do.

And that's not wrong, of course. Some people believe that it is a way to see what kind of person you are based off of how you treat your fictional characters or the ways that you interact with sexuality. Which has some truth to it. To some extent.

However. It holds a problem when that is the ONLY evidence you find against a person.

Making a shitty joke 3 years ago doesn't condemn you to hell. Or at least. It shouldn't.

Making a sexualized character? I mean. Who doesn't?

But running a hierarchy where you are running your friends mental health into the ground for the sake of a show you aren't even animating for anymore? Now that is something that I would like to educate myself on.

And this thread does just that.

I definitely recommend you read. Or at least bookmark for later. Because it has a LOT of new information that people might not know yet.

[writergeekrhw]

hi!! i'm sorry if you've gotten similar questions before, but i'm very curious. i've thought about going into writing for television but i don't know where to start, and i also don't want to cross picket lines/scab. do you have any advice?

Well, picket lines aren't a problem anymore, so...

Learn - Watch your favorite shows and movies. Break them down into structure. You can outline as you watch. Scene, Time of Day, Actions, Who Says What. Read great books, consider taking a class on TV writing at someplace reputable online (UCLA Extension is really good). Read about basic screenplay structure and format.

Write - Write the following: 2 spec pilots, 1 episode of an established show that's currently on the air. Maybe a feature. (You probably should buy Final Draft at this point)

Apply for programs: There are studio writing programs that train writers. Getting into one of these can definitely help. Here's a list: Fellowship & Writing Programs for Screenwriters Masterlist — The Writers Guild Foundation (wgfoundation.org)

Keep writing. I had a teacher tell me it took 10 scripts to get good. Have you written 10 full scripts? If no, keep writing. If yes, keep writing.

Consider moving to Los Angeles. Los Angeles is where you can get work as a Writers P.A. or Assistant. That's how you'll get to know writers. It's much harder to do that if you're not in L.A. But also keep in mind that Los Angeles is a very expensive city and you'll probably have to work a civilian job to survive until you get a showbiz one and that it can cost $1500/month just for a room in a shared apartment. So... consider...

Network with peers. Network with fellow aspiring writers you meet in your classes/online/etc. Join a writers group. Be a great person. Help each other. Hopefully you and your peers will all rise together and you'll be able to help each other out once you start getting jobs.

Keep writing. Never stop writing new things.

Rise through the ranks. Hopefully you'll get a Writers P.A. job at some point. Be a good person. Work hard. Make a good impression. Get promoted to either Writers Room Assistant or Showrunner's Assistant. Have a show that goes multiple years. Have your boss (eventually, don't rush it) read your amazing sample which she'll hopefully love. Get a script assignment in a later season. Write an amazing script. Have show go ANOTHER season, get promoted to Staff Writer. CONGRATULATIONS! You've made it.

Keep going. You need to continue to get promoted and staffed for multiple seasons to have a stable career and even then, it'll never stop being a hustle.

ALTERNATIVE PATH: Write the most amazing novel/play/youtube thing/graphic novel/podcast ever and have that optioned into a series and insist on being on staff as a condition of sale.

WARNING: Results are not guaranteed. The odds are NOT in your favor. Try at own risk. Los Angeles is expensive and breaks people. It can take 5-10 years from first script to first job. Or never. Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here. Objects in the Rearview Mirror are Farther Away Than They Appear. Read about Survivorship Bias before taking any showbiz advice from anyone.

[gamblegun]

i also believe most "anti-transandrophobia people" aren't shitty people. i remember when the "bi lesbian" thing came up, people were really quick to jump to conclusions based on a viral post mocking the concept. when people advocate against an idea, there's the unsaid "if you support this, then you're a bad person!" so most people don't think critically about it, especially if it doesn't directly concern them. they'll assume they're doing the right thing and they might even add it to their DNI list.

also due to the nature of the internet, stirring up outrage is effective. people think they're immune, but they're not. especially on tumblr, if you say something in mockery similar to the way the "funnymen" do, you're likely to get people behind you. not to mention the cult of personalities that are able to proliferate exclusionist ideas easily. most people on here might just touch an exclusionist idea and absorb it partially, even if they're not actively partaking in any shenanigans.

unfortunately, this is niche internet discourse. most people won't think about it much. they don't have time to check out all the discourse points and will take others at their word because they want to be a decent person. (i am of course, only describing some of the people i've seen, not all)

Yeah, while I feel there are definitely shit stirrers around who just are using this opportunity to be awful towards us, for me it's a matter of genuinely understanding how some people that are against transandrophobia have come to this conclusion, and still feeling pretty hurt anyways. Like, I need people to take a moment and think before attacking and fear mongering about a group of trans people for Christ's sake. When I first heard about all this, it was seeing some posts about how privileged trans man are, and feeling that was pretty silly and unbelievable. I saw some people critiquing that sentiment and learned about the word "transandrophobia" from there, which seemed like a no brainer and good step forward for the community. I have indeed been on the other side of a lot of transandrophobia from the community since figuring myself out, and it was nice to see this discussion happening. However, when a lot of people seemed to become extremely against this seemingly overnight, it frightened me, it honestly made me feel unsafe in my social circle. I questioned myself extensively, reading up on feminist theory, trying to determine if I really was being as misogynistic as they claimed. It tanked my mental health for months, but I wholly believe our concepts are sound, and that trans men should be able to have a word of our own and the freedom to talk about our pain full stop.

It's like, even the people who think they are in the right are being transphobic about us all the time. A lot of tenants of their arguments are transandrophobic in nature, and then will refuse to accept criticism because they've already determined we're irrational hysterical thought seductors, and that saying transphobic things towards us would be okay anyway since we deserve to be hurt. When a lot of us say that a lot of people in the online community have drunk the 'ra/d/fem KoolAid', I tend agree with them. There are a lot of imbedded lines of thought I honestly don't know how to combat. And it makes me feel pretty unsafe in the community, and I don't think I deserve that, or anyone deserves that really. A lot of trans allies are much much more transandrophobic than they believe and it's disturbing to see so out in the open. I'm just... So disappointed in people constantly. You're right, if someone says something with the usual 'tumblr funnyman' contempt, people just tend to believe it. But it makes me angry! How dare people be manipulated so easily, have such shaky morals that they're willing to act so uselessly and cruelly without much a thought, or even taking time to have enough information. And it's like, I don't hate you, but it's embarrassing. Exclusionary behavior is always so insidious and embarrassing. I know that's not being completely fair, we are all just... So traumatized. A lot of people within the community tend to be extremely lonely, have had hard lives, and that's just asking for crab bucket behavior. And I can even see why trans women would feel concerned about it too, but I don't think we deserve automatic suspicion either.

I don't think they're fundamentally bad people or anything. I just can't be treated badly, I'm just not going to allow it, and I am certainly not going to like or respect anyone who acts so poorly.

I just hope this discourse is over eventually. I want to love and be loved by this community in turn. I want to actually feel apart of it. I want us all to stand together, it's going to be hard road ahead.

[mionghairearracht]

Oh shit yeah huh... do you think part of the reason why so many teens are anti fiction is because of the mandatory reading in schools so when they get on the internet they don't know how to exercise the choice they now have.

ALSO please check out "does the dog die" for mandatory readings as it has an extensive list of trigger warns and I hope it will help take the edge of atleast!

so like preface that we're on the end of a 4?5? day migraine and not the best with words right now. also pretty much any time you is used it's the general you

honestly we think the whole "force kids to read triggering material with no support or warning" is probably the cause of a ton of media related issues not just people* not understanding that the can disengage with triggering material, or that reading things can trigger you and that's completely independent of morality on anyone's part**

like the whole "you need to keep engaging with current events even if your triggered and/or burnt out" is basically what many people where taught for years directly and indirectly in school and by many authority figures.

kids and teens are constantly told their boundaries around media don't matter and that those bounderies can be violated for education. thus a shit ton of people thinking that the proper way to educate on current issues being expose yourself constantly even if you are triggered is a pretty natural consequence.

this also ties into the whole "people can't do media analysis" yeah no shit. if you are spending most of your time and energy dealing with the effects of being triggered by the thing you are supposed to analyze, you probably aren't actually learning much about the media or how to analyze it, that's what happens when you're triggered repeatedly

and yeah no shit you're going to think analysis is bullshit if your experience is "the thing i was forced to trigger myself into breakdowns to do" because that's fucking bullshit and a disgustingly normalized experience.

basically i think the lack of choice, respect for the bounderies and triggers of kids/teens, and the normalization of what's basically emotional abuse under the guise of education has fucked shit up

also does the dog die is great, i think we actually made a post about it a while ago thanks for reminding us of it

for books specifically we hightly recommend storygraph***. its a book tracking app that has an extensive inbuilt trigger list that users can add with reviews and there are a ton of books from bestsellers to indie and self published on there.

if you want to start reading but worry about triggers its a great resource.

and since this is long enough already, tangents/context notes are under the read more

*in our experience this effects people of all ages, and despite the idea of teens being particularly pro-censorship our experience is that its more a case of specific fandoms just having more young people in general and thus more young people who are pro-censorship (and those people being extremely loud and aggressive in general) driving/drowning out others; and the fact that a lot of pro-censorship groups online vs. offline are pretty different demographics wise and having issues with one doesn't guarantee experience with the other

**often people are taught that not being able to handle certain topics is basically a moral failing or willpower issue of their part, which is not true. this can lead to thinking that the moral failing actually came from the topic that hurt them, also not true.

the real problem was being forced to engage with it to the detriment of health under the threat of varies penalties, but that is a huge complex problem which isn't as easy to grasp or readily apparently

*** we really recommend it if you are a reader or looking for information on books in general not just triggers. its much better then goodreads imo and as a bonus you can actually filter out certain warnings from being shown in recommendations.

[omegathetaone]

Welcome to the Omega System ｡･:*˚:✧｡

Hey! We're the Omega System (also known as ΩΘ1/Omega or Theta in short), and we are a self diagnosed traumagenic system. The full DNI list will be written below, however note that we are expressly anti-endo/tulpa as they make us very uncomfortable! Below you will find our DNI list, frequent fronters, sign offs, and more! Please, please give it a read before interacting with us! Especially the DNI list, if nothing else!

This post is subject to updates at any time, so make sure to check here to keep yourself up to date! (Long Post under the cut <3)

The Basics & BYF

We use we/us and I/me interchangeably We are autistic, a minor, and bodily a trans man We are a self diagnosed osdd/did system but we can't tell which kind of system we are even after extensive research (we are leaning towards OSDD-1b)

We are a fictive heavy system We are a masc-identity heavy system The majority of our system is queer

We collectively go by Omega or Theta online. Outside of that we use the body's name (we will not be sharing it here) We collectively use He/It pronouns, so if you don't know who's fronting or are referring to us in general just use those pronouns

We block very liberally

We will delete posts as we so choose. One day you might see it, the next it could be gone. Sorry if this causes any confusion!

We struggle with self-acceptance at times to please be patient with us. We're doing our best to get out of that mindset but it's not an easy process

Don't be afraid to let us know if someone is problematic! If we reblog from someone unknowingly then letting us know would be greatly appreciated so we can block them and correct our mistake!

Boundaries

We prefer to interact with people who are at least 16, so if you are younger than that you will be on thin ice with us unless if we're mutuals.

General rule, please don't refer to us as "plural" or to our headmates as "parts". We don't feel comfortable with these terms.

We are open to most questions about being a system, how our system works, or anything else that might be on your mind! We love answering questions (though don't expect this from other systems online- they don't have to share anything if they don't want to).

Our DMs are open unless stated otherwise. If another system needs someone to talk to or is looking for a system friend, then you can come to us! Keep in mind though- we will stop communication and/or block you if we feel super uncomfortable!

We aren't a roleplay account. Please don't try to roleplay with us unless if it's a fandom thing we agreed to and not "oh you have a fictive of x character!", because it makes us uncomfortable.

Interests

Some Media/Shows/Movies that we really enjoy!

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (+ TBB)

Heartstopper

Transformers

Demon Slayer, Naruto, + many more

Detroit: Become Human

Resident Evil (Video Games, not movies)

Subnautica

Destiny (Video Games, both 1 and 2)

Arcane (The Show)

Hades

Red Vs. Blue

Some more obscure ones are...

Orwell: Keeping an Eye on You

In Sound Mind (Video Game)

Firewatch

Some of my other interests include...

The Horror Genre

Cryptids, SCPs, Analogue Horror, and other things of that nature

Music + Composition

Sound Design

Art

Chemistry

History

Geography

Marine Biology

Marching Band (Marching music my beloved)

Learning new instruments (I'm up to 5 now I think)

Writing (I blame fandoms for this)

Of course some of these can vary depending on who's fronting but they are generally pretty consistent? For the most part anyway.

Favorite current songs...

Mayday mayday! by Biometrix

Downfall by NEONI

Outlaw by NEONI

Wonderland by NEONI

Big Guns by NEONI (can you tell we like Neoni?)

E.T. cover by Rain Paris

Beautiful is Boring by BONES UK

THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND by BAD OMENS

Underground by Unlike Pluto and 8 Graves

There's more, but the list would be going on forever lol

DNI

You are free to interact if you aren't anywhere on the list below (and if you don't break any boundaries of ours). That being said, DNI if you are...

endo/tulpa or a supporter

transphobe/homophobe/bigot

fakeclaimer

anti-mogai

anti-alterhuman

anti-neo/xenopronouns and genders

transid/transage/transrace

gendercritical

anti-informed self dx

zoophile/MAP/pedophile/proship etc.

anti-semetic

white supremasists/nazis

syscourse

racists of any kind

pro-life/anti-abortion

Anti-Paraphilia recovery

terf/swerf/radqueer/radfem, etc.

Other things to note here:

If you participate in cringe culture, or harass/call other people 'cringe' for doing what they like, I don't want to see you on my blog.

I will block blank blogs because of tumblr bots, so if you don't want that to be you then please make your blog look HUMAN and not a part of that mess.

I do not want to interact with HP fans/stans. Based on the rest of my DNI, the reason should be obvious. If not, just leave, y'all make me uncomfortable.

If you think that all systems have to sign off on every message and/or constantly let you know who's fronting, realize that just...isn't true. We like signing off a lot of posts because that's how we roll, but that doesn't mean other systems have to give you that window into themselves. Hell- we don't have to either if we aren't feeling it.

Once again, don't bring syscourse here. It makes us very, very uncomfortable.

Frequent Fronters

Max (He/It) - Host

Desmond (He/Him) - Co-host

Charlie (He/Him) - Sexual Protector (Kind of? He's our resident romance king)

The Omega System Member Sign-Off Legend

This isn't everyone, but it's the main ones who like speaking on tumblr and social media in general (for the most part)

✧ 🌌 - System tag

✧ 💤 - Max

✧ 💼 - Desmond

✧ 💌 - Charlie

✧ 💕 - Charlie (aka Char)

✧ 📜 - Alexandre (Aka Alex)

✧ 🩸 - Aurelius (aka AZ)

✧ 🎧 - Axel

✧ 🪀 - Chris

✧ 🔪 - Felix

✧ 🌗 - Domino

✧ 🐻 - Harley

✧ 🔥 - Kyo

✧ 🌠 - Sam

✧ 👑 - King

✧ 💣 - Fuse

✧ 🦋 - Kode (Pronounced Cody)

✧ 🐕 - Nick

✧ 🌹 - Nines

✧ 🐏 - Sebastian (aka Seb or Sebs)

✧ 🕷 - Weaver

✧ 🕸 - Xeno

✧ ✈ - Aileron

✧ 🖤 - Vox

✧ 🌧 - Apollo

✧ 💿 - Taz

✧ 🌙 - Soren

✧ 👻 - Talon

✧ 🧊 - Melvin (aka Mel)

✧ 🕊 - Marcel

✧ 🎵 - Liam

✧ 🎮 - Mustard

✧ 🌳 - Aspen

✧ 🌑 - Anakin

Userboxes

(from @/sysboxes)

(from @/sysboxes

(from @/sysboxes)

[ghostonly]

FTM Top Surgery Q&A Announcement

- For Larger Lads, Disabled Lads, Lads with Ehlers Danlos, and Lads with ADHD -

Hiya! I'm going to be having double-incision top surgery on the 27th of April and, being that most top surgery Q&As and information online seems to cater mostly to smaller and more abled mascs, I feel like I'm in a uniquely important position to be able to share information for those of us who don't get our questions answered as easily.

Things About Me That Will Impact My Surgery and Recovery:

I'm a large guy (about 260lb) with a big chest - For Now >:)

I'm disabled, which, relevant to healing and recovery, means:

I have very limited energy and am fatigued very easily

I have undiagnosed EDS or an adjacent disorder which means my skin acts weird, heals weird, and is really sensitive and weak

It also means my joints don't stay in place the way they should, which leads to constant pain (in one area or another), inflammation, and partial dislocations many times per day

I have POTS, which, in simple terms, means changing position in certain ways has a massive impact on my heart rate

I have a lot of muscle soreness all the time for unknown reasons (might be Fibromyalgia, but I'm not sure and not diagnosed with anything yet)

I have IBS and a number of food intolerances which means antibiotics will impact my already touchy diet

I've got moderate persistent asthma which can be triggered by what position I'm lying in

I have ADHD, which will impact my recovery due to executive function issues, difficulty with falling asleep, etc.

I have roommates, but will be attempting to handle the bulk of my recovery by myself, as I'm not super close with any of them

I'm poor, so how I approach recovery will be very money-conscious (I'm not going to be ordering food every day, unfortunately 😔)

Q&A Series Installments

Because I'm in a position to be able to provide much needed insight into the experience of having top surgery for those with similar disabilities or weight, I plan to put together an extensive Q&A series.

The series will include these general timeline installments:

Operation day process and experience

1, 2, 4, and 6 Week post-op recovery progress and results (with photos)

3, 6, 9, and 12 month recovery progress and results (with photos)

As well as these more specific installments, which I'll post when convenient in the first couple of months after surgery:

Advice for handling recovery with ADHD/executive dysfunction

Pre-op environment preparation for disabled people - post-op wisdom and hindsight included

Post-op comfort and positioning advice for people with joint and/or pain issues

Incision and scar care for people with sensitive skin and/or EDS

Final Q&A

All of the installments will include relevant submitted questions and answers.

Any questions that were sent after the installment they would have fit into, or those that are more miscellaneous, will be posted and answered in the Final Q&A installment

If you could benefit from this Q&A, whether you share my disabilities or not, please send me questions!

Askers do not need to be disabled or fit into all of the categories I listed myself in. Even if you're skinny and abled, if you have questions about top surgery and recovery and this is the opportunity you needed to ask them, please do!

All questions asked will be saved until the installment relevant to them, then quoted and tagged. Anons are welcome.

Q&A Question Rules & Guidelines

Asking people to send me questions would turn into a nightmare without some boundaries, so here are some general rules and guidelines for sending in questions:

Do not ask for nude Before pictures. In fact, this one is so much of an obvious No that, if you do, you will be blocked. I will post a before with a shirt on in my progress installments.

Do not ask basic questions that can be answered with a 2-minute search. (e.g. "What is double-incision?" If your question is more specific or experience-based, I'll treat it in good faith (e.g. "How do I know if double-incision is right for me?" or, "How do you find a doctor who does double-incision?") Both of these could probably be answered with a search but aren't as simple and allow me to actually give my input rather than state a definition.

Keep sexual questions respectful and appropriate. I'm not completely against questions about sex if it is related to how top surgery affects things, but they need to be respectful and it should be clear you're not trolling in some way. Sexual questions will only be accepted off anon, but you can request to remain anonymous and I won't put your name in the post.

Refrain from asking anything related to law or medical practices. I don't have a list of resources to offer and I know there are others out there who do. I don't want to send anyone in the direction of outdated or unreliable information. If you want to know about my own experiences with insurance, qualifying, and getting my appointment, DM me or send me an ask off anon so that I can reply privately and see who's asking. I won't give specifics about my location and doctors in an open post.

I look forward to writing all of this up and, the more asks I get, the more robust the series will be! So send in your questions.

I'll tag each installment as #ghostsurgeryseries, so you can follow that tag if you don't want to miss any, or follow me. This blog is only original posts or reblogs where I add a substantial response, so it's low output and mostly unrelated to fandom (I have a couple ofmd posts but otherwise it's mostly about disability, adhd, and miscellaneous stuff)

Thanks for reading!

[moonstarfem]

This post kind of took me by surprise yesterday, and I'm curious to see what other rad fems who frequent FDS think about this announcement. It seems as though some of the mods are unhappy with the way the subreddit is going and are seeking to remind users that the whole point of the sub is to apply what you've learned on FDS by actually getting out there and dating men.

This is a poor take IMO considering that the sub exists to support women in all areas of life, not just dating. I don't think the moderator announcement is at all representative of the majority of the current userbase, especially when you take a look at FDS' most popular posts and the type of content that users are most frequently engaging with. I mean, just take a look at the flair options. There are multiple ones available for us to talk about a variety of issues, including "cultural misogyny" and "global resistance". Even posts that aren't inherently about dating are still relevant to dating. To quote a user below, "dating doesn't exist in a vacuum. The whole dating scene is very obviously impacted by the patriarchy. So raising consciousness among women about beauty standards, the sex trade, cultural misogyny etc are all important because they're tied together".

I think FDS ought to embrace the community they have established and the way it is continuing to evolve and thrive. I've seen some incredible posts on there in the months I've been subscribed. From an extensive list of why you shouldn't go 50/50 with a man on a date, patterns of behaviour displayed by abusers, calling out liberal feminism, analysing the glorification of sex work and much, much more. There are few spaces online where women are provided with such indispensable information straight off the bat. A woman who simply came onto FDS for dating could leave with a whole new understanding of the world and the misogynistic forces at play. I even saw a post the other day from an ex-sex worker who stopped escorting after discovering FDS and listening to the podcast. She encouraged other sex workers to do the same too.

It's actually quite insulting for OP to say that the "aggressive radfem idealogical grandstanding BS" has got to go. What a bizarre thing to say. I understand that not all FDS members are radical feminists, but considering that, 1. many active users are rad fems, 2. many have become rad fems through participating (whether that was the sub's intention or not) and 3. the podcast itself just hosted an "aggressive rad fem" last week (the incredible Gail Dines), I have no idea why radical feminism is being dismissed in this way. Why is it an issue if some posts include core radical feminist beliefs? It is still connected to dating, seeing as we are still attracted to men and have to navigate misogyny in all aspects of our lives. Radical feminism only strives to help women, not hurt women.

Also, OP seems to be unable to recognise a healthy middle ground between actively dating multiple men and opting out of dating completely. Yes, the handbook recommends multi-dating, but nowhere did it state that if you are single, you ought to be dating. She says, "It's okay to take breaks from dating because you're in a negative mindset, or focus on self improvement, or determine what you even want"...well, what if it's none of those things? If we're happy to just get on with our lives without actively seeking a man? What then? We are not "waiting for a HVM to come along" by not actively seeking them out. We know it's not that easy. I don't want to use online dating. I'm not going to join a meetup group for a random hobby just so I can cultivate opportunities to meet men. My life doesn't revolve around creating opportunities to meet men and I don't appreciate being told that I should "get in the habit of curating new experiences" with them. Like...no thanks. I will happily activate the vetting techniques I've learned when I come across men, but I don't need to go searching for them just to gain experience meeting and rejecting men. There are so many things I'd rather dedicate my time towards than to seek out men to practice FDS tactics on. Besides, there are plenty of non-dating situations involving men where we can still practice these techniques. Situations with male work colleagues, relatives, friends and strangers. Men are literally half the population. I think we'll be fine.

Anyway, I'm gonna share some comments from the post that particularly resonated with me:

Would love to see some more thoughts on this!

[morgana-ren]

Come Down to the Black Sea III

Summary: The sea seems to call to you, but it’s not the tumultuous clash of the waves you should fear. Something lurks deep beneath the black waters, something sinister with a piqued interest and ill intent.

Rating: Explicit 

Warnings: Siren!Shigaraki, graphic depictions of violence, heavy sexual innuendo, implied noncon, foul language, sexual tension you can cut with a knife, and just general sexual grossness. Joking daddy kink also, if you count that. 

PART I, PART II

Here you go! The third installment. Your seafaring friend finds your hot button and decides to plant some lovely ideas in your brain. Listening to them probably is not the smartest idea in regards to keeping your heart beating, but it certainly gets your thighs clenching. 

Taglist: @lemonzoey​, @babayaga67​

You know, it's really rough to explain to your superiors at work why you're so distracted when it happens to be because a mythical being is giving you the cold shoulder. 

You’re not entirely certain why it bothers you so much that your last encounter with him ended rather sour. He had made it perfectly plain from the get-go that his intent with you was far from pure. Murderous, in fact. He had almost drowned you on your first meeting and insulted you incessantly during your second. Not exactly a friendly track record. 

Regardless, he’s made a permanent home crawling beneath your human skin, like some itch you can’t scratch away. You can try to justify it however you’d like, but you can’t ignore the truth. In a word full of mundane existence, you’ve found an oddity and as much as you’d like to pretend you aren’t, you’re drawn to it. It’s part of why you returned to the beach despite the clear and present danger. You’d found a living, breathing mermaid. Even more impressive, you’d managed to piss him off.

Mermaid? Is that accurate? He’s so sensitive to being classified wrongly, but still never told you what he was. Considering the circumstances, maybe you should be a little bit more concerned about other things rather than offending him, but it still bothers you. 

Your ignorance isn’t due to lack of trying. You’ve done extensive research in the spare moments you have during the day, but nothing quite matches his description no matter how deeply you delve into the weirder parts of the internet, even going so far as to browse around on conspiracy sites on the darknet. Mermaid? Merman? Siren? Fish-guy? Some distantly related offspring to that Ripley’s Believe it or Not monkey fish? Relentless searching proved fruitless. Plenty of old sun-crazed fishermen claim to have seen merfolk in the waters or sirens on the rocks, but more often than not, it was a walrus or stage 4 sea madness. No one had a legitimate account of meeting with a real, intelligent creature of the deep. Nothing that came remotely close to him, anyway.

Despite being unable to focus at your job, getting home only doubles the anxiety. Restlessly sitting and twitching on the sofa, repeatedly trying and failing to read or watch some vapid TV show. You’re unable to keep your mind from returning to the ocean, to him no matter how hard you try. 

Over the course of time, you become acutely aware that staying home clearly isn't an option, but you're not really sure what to say to him if you see him again. Why do you even care? Aren't you supposed to be ignoring him? You can excuse your obsessive thoughts about him since most people would have the same reaction to seeing something supernatural not once, but twice in front of their very eyes, but a lot of people wouldn’t continuously return to see it especially if it was malevolent. 

You love that preemptively planning what to say to a sentient supernatural sea dweller is a part of your day. That's awesome. Can't look that one up on google. 

You’ll compromise with your compulsiveness instead. Go a little early and watch the sun set down over the horizon instead of watching the moon rise. Most parents won't allow their children near your rock because it’s slippery and dangerous, and frankly, you don't think he'll show up when others can see him. He’s deadly, but a mob of terrified parents and curious beach goers has few rivals. 

Maybe you can get your fill before he appears. It's better to keep away from him anyway. He wants you dead. 

He wants you dead, you remind yourself.

And so you do. Tread the sandy trail down to your favorite little hideyhole and plop down on the hard surface. You kick your feet absentmindedly on the rock beneath you, watching the small particles of sand splay and regather with every motion of your foot. The crash of the waves, still tumultuous and ornery, slap the side of your makeshift perch and splash you with speckles of water every few moments. You don't mind. You needed to shower anyway.

You can't help but feel a bit more lonely than normal, even surrounded by so many more people than you usually are. Flustered moms urge their children in from the shore to wipe them down with towels and flighty young twentysomethings hoot and holler, laughing loudly as they pile into their cars to find their next big spot for the night. The moon rises and the beach empties, leaving you alone again. The ocean settles, and even though it feels better, you feel alone.

You close your eyes, resting your head sideways on your knees with your arms buckled around your legs. You're close to the edge, precariously so. You just want to be close to the water. You should move back.

In. out. in. out. in. out. in. out.

The waves seem to move in line with the beating of your own heart, a tranquil feeling that dulls your restless thoughts and engulfs you in quiet solace. The hum of the ocean resonating deep within you with each breath you take of the briny air.

You're aware enough to recognize that the sound of the sea is luring you into a false sense of comfort. The darkness seeping over the horizon doesn't make it easier, and soon your slowly wandering mind is on the brink of unconsciousness. You're dangerously close to falling asleep, and given the circumstances, that probably isn't the best idea, especially since you're precariously close to the water. 

You can't help it, it's been one hell of a week. You haven’t slept. Haven’t relaxed. Haven’t felt at home in so long...

Listen, there's no guide online to look at that can help you through what to do when a malevolent fish-man hybrid has decided he wants to drown you. You can imagine it would say something along the lines of 'Stop going near the water then, dumbass' but that's like asking a religious person to stay away from church. It's the one place where you feel any semblance of peace, and you'll be damned if you're going to let the moonlight water marauder take that from you. 

Still, it makes things in your life exponentially more difficult when you can't explain to anyone what's on your mind. 

'Yeah, I met a mer...thing, and he's decided that he hates me and he wants to drown me, and that makes me sad. The one supernatural creature I get to meet and he doesn't like me. Bummer.'

They'd probably have you committed. That’s a bit much even for your eccentric proclivities. 

Your body occasionally jerks you awake, probably its way of saying 'You cannot sleep when there are enemies nearby', but it feels like it's been weeks since you've had a decent night's sleep. The endless procession of days marked by existential crisis with the tacked on bonus of being aware of the existence of a nefarious fairy tale creature makes everything feel awfully surreal. It feels as if you've been running on pure adrenaline and are about to crash. Hard.

If you were smart, you'd go home and try to bank on the feeling of sleepiness currently plaguing you, but you just can't bring yourself to move. Even barring the flaxen haired fish dude just chomping at the bit to drag you under, napping this close to the sea is a bad idea in general. Tides change rapidly and all it would take is a few minutes of you being unaware for the waves to snag you and haul you off to a watery grave. They'd probably never find you, just like the others who disappear here at night. 

But that's probably his doing, isn't it?

What does he do with the bodies exactly?

You really wish he wasn't trying to kill you, cause you have an endless list of questions you'd like to ask. What does he eat? Where does he live? Does he sleep at all?

Musing on all the things you'd like to know about him and his life leads you into fantasizing about being a talk show host interviewing him, and one thing leads to another and before you know it, you're conked out cold. You've managed to find an extremely awkward position to slump into, but even the horrid crick in your neck isn't enough to shake you from the dreamless slumber. Your body doesn't even have the energy needed to produce a dream, so instead, you just float through an endless void.

It could have been minutes, or even hours, really. You're not sure. The only thing strong enough to jar you awake is a sudden and intense feeling of dread that blooms in your stomach and gives you a form and sentience again. Your eyes snap open instinctively, and you're greeted with a pair of spiteful red eyes far too close to you for comfort.

"Jumping jesus-!" 

Surprised is a nice word for what you feel, an ugly screech emanating from your throat as you kick out your feet, knocking yourself over and almost falling in the water in the process. You hit your head nice and hard on a particularly jagged portion of the rocks, and by the time your vision undoubles, the danger is just barely settling in. 

Except danger is too busy cackling to be a threat.

You try to grapple with the panic in your chest and get a grasp on reality again after your literal rude awakening, but it's a bit rough when the sadistic jackass who perpetuated it in the first place won't stop laughing. Apparently he's too amused to take the opportunity to seize you, so you take the moment to scoot much further back and out of his reach, resisting the urge to plant your foot right on his stupid face.

Eventually he quiets down, but the grin never leaves his face. Much like everything about him, it's hostile somehow, mocking and disingenuous. 

"Humans really are so stupid."

"Joke is on you, tunabreath. You wasted the perfect opportunity to actually grab me." 

He shakes his head, tutting you. "I couldn’t resist. We like to play with our food too, sometimes. Scared ones taste better."

Is he implying he eats people? Okay, you know what? You don't wanna know. You doubt he'd be honest about it anyway, and would probably say whatever unnerves you the most. He seems a prick like that.

"I thought the entire point was to drown me and get it over with. You’re borderline obsessed with it."

He scoffs, little head fins twitching as he waves you off. "If I’m going to waste my time, don't make it so easy. It's less fun."

Okay cool, this is all a game to him; your life is a game to him. Nice. Fun. Great. 

Something on your face must have given away your ire, because he simpers at you and another raspy laugh bubbles in his chest. 

"It's not my fault you're stupid. You're the idiot sleeping next to the ocean when you know what's waiting for you when you get too close. It’s like you want me to devour you." 

"I thought after your little tantrum last night, you were gone for good. You really can throw a fantastic hissy fit."

That wipes the smile from his face.

“Little brat.” He taps a claw on the rock, narrowing his eyes at you. “Tough talk from someone afraid of getting a little wet.” He drags out the final word with a mocking tone, clicking his tongue against his fangs with the final syllable.

“For the last time, I’m not afraid of getting wet-” It takes it a second to sink in but wow this all sounds so wrong. Your face darkens and a familiar tingle worms itself in your gut. Are you really that lonely? “And don’t say it like that!”

His brows furrow and he studies you with a slightly quizzical expression. “Like what?” 

How do you explain to a dude who presumably has no cock and no human sexual experience about the sexual insinuations of human expressions? Wow. This is not a talk you thought you’d be having. The entire situation is weird, but this really sets the bar. 

“I know you’re probably not familiar with it, but that sounds... weird. It just sounds weird, okay?” 

“I don’t understand.” His lips curl downward in annoyance, arching a pale brow in your direction. 

“Look, when a human and another human... do stuff, things happen to their bodies and-“ a twisted sense of shame curdles your stomach and you go to scratch the back of your head, avoiding his eyes. Your words trail off somewhere mid sentence. If you were looking, you could practically see the gears turning in his head, but a few seconds later, his face pops in realization. 

“I’m fully aware of your human mating habits.”

“Don’t say it like that either! Jesus, you’re so awkward.”

A slow smile spreads over his face and he leans closer to you, tail swishing in a steady rhythm beneath the water. “Why? You’re over the ‘age of consent’, as it’s put, right? A sexually mature human female? Does it make you uncomfortable when I say things like that? Or does it make you something else?” 

He trails his claws in a walking motion towards your out of reach leg, and embarrassment isn’t a strong enough word for the emotion that colors your face as you recoil from his wandering fingers. “Knock it off!”

“Has it been a while since someone touched you, little human?”

“None of your business! You’re such a creep! And what do you know about it anyway? Don’t you fuckin’ lay eggs or something?”

He ignores your pointed jab, licking at his chapped lips as he runs his piercing eyes over you a bit too invasively for your liking. “You wanna know, huh? I can show you.” He reaches towards you again and you wiggle back a few more inches, caught between his words and the friction igniting feelings you’re desperately trying to ignore between your thighs.

“I’m getting mixed signals here. Are you trying to drown me or fuck me?” 

“Who says I can’t do both?” He tilts his head, gaze lingering on your lips before drifting down to your chest without shame. His attention still feels utterly predatory, but for a different form of predator entirely. “Your death doesn’t have to be entirely painful, you know.” 

“S-stop it.” 

He’s giving you whiplash with his intense mood swings, but you can’t deny the less than appropriate places his words drag your mind to. Heat ignites inside you, warmth spreading through your navel as your cheeks burn deeper than they did before. You will it away, trying to shake loose the thoughts from your mind. No fucking way are you even considering this.

“Look, even if our bodies were compatible, which they aren’t, it’s not like you wanting to kill me is a turn on.” 

He gives you another lilting grin, flicking his tongue and hissing in a foreign laugh. “Are you sure? I know that some of your kind are into that sort of thing. Hard. Rough. Dangerous. And judging by your face-“ 

Another bout of blood colors your cheeks so intensely that you can literally feel it. Oh God, make it stop. 

“-You might be.” 

“Shut it, shark bait!” 

“And who’s to say we’re not compatible? I know plenty. Something about the beach is an aphrodisiac to you humans. Not to mention~” Another grin, but this one gives off the undeniable air of ‘I know something you don’t know.’ “You have no idea what I can do.”

You can’t help but look back at him as he says it and you can tell he means every word. The unnatural scarlet glow of his eyes seems far too welcoming, calling to you like some sort of beacon in the darkness. The soft gleam of his silvery hair in the moonlight far too inviting. You want to touch it, wonder what it would feel like entwined between your fingers, what it smells like and how those claws would feel like scratching against the sensitive skin of your ass as he holds you steady against his hips.

You bet those fangs aren’t just for show, and judging by his attitude, he’s probably not afraid to use them. You bet they’d feel all sorts of nice scraping and digging into your flesh, biting you and licking that thick tongue up and over your neck, maybe even a bit lower if you asked him nicely. He’s so lithe, so strong, he’d have no problem fucking you against the rock even with the water resistance. His slick skin rubbing against yours, webbed hands squeezing your waist, kneading your tits, pressing the rounds of your neck until you gave yourself over to him completely and the taste of him is the last thing you ever knew.

Okay, you admit it. You are really curious to see just what it is he can do. You’d probably be the first human in history to find out, the first girl to be fucked to literal death by a siren. Would it really be such a terrible way to die? Being dragged under metaphorically and physically and spending your last moments in pleasure wholly unknown to the moral realm?

He smiles softly, watching you toss it around in your mind as he cradles his head in his palm. He’s beautiful, and you loathe it. You hate that you’re even considering this, even toying with the thought as if it’s really an option. What the hell are you doing? This is complete madness!

“You aren’t serious, are you?” 

He gestures you forward seductively, nibbling gently on his scarred bottom lip, keeping your eyes squarely trained on his mouth. “Come a little closer and find out. I promise I bite. Extra hard if you beg.”

Another clench between your legs. Shake it loose, shake it loose! “Look, even if I believed for a split second you wanted to seduce me, you really think I’m going to literally die for the chance?”

“What else are you going to die for?” 

Oddly deep. Not a thought you wanted to ponder right now. Expertly deflect it with sarcasm and ignore the fact that he has a very good point.

“Of old age, in my bed, surrounded by loved ones and piles of money I didn’t get the chance to spend yet.” 

He scoffs, blowing air through his nose. “Sure.”

“Just what is that supposed to mean?” 

He shrugs, shucking aside your irritation. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.” 

“Prick.” 

He giggles, finding your crass human mouth oddly endearing. “Well, the offer stands. I told you I’m not going anywhere until you're under the water with me.” He pauses, considering you for a moment before grinning darkly. “I might just do it anyway, but it’s better if you’re willing. Not that I’ve ever been averse to a little struggle.”

“What?”

“It’s hard to say no when you can’t speak. I could easily bypass this little game of playing hard to get, but I want to see you squirm.” He eyes between your legs and you pray to the Gods that he thinks the dampness residing there is because of the watery environment. “I want to see you beg before the light goes out in those pretty eyes.”

“You’re a fucking perv!”

“I told you I’m going to watch you drown, you really put it past me to not take other forms of satisfaction from you while I’m at it?”

He presents a good point. You resent the fact that you don’t entirely feel repulsed by the thought. You should. You should be mortified and terrified and other words that end in ‘fied’. You should run and never come back. You know you should. 

You lean forward. 

“I’d like to see you try, fish boy.” 

A strangely genuine smile spreads across his lips and his face seems to light up at your words. It's still menacing, but oddly cute; like a child getting ready and excited to play their favorite game. 

"You really think you can win this, huh?" He muses, looking up at you through those pale lashes. "You sure are something, little girl." 

"What do I have to lose? If you win, you kill me, and whatever else, but I won't care, because I'll be dead. If I win, I get to see that arrogant smarminess wiped off your face when you don't get what you want. You'll have wasted all this time for nothing, and I guess that's a small consolation prize alongside my life."

“Time means nothing to me, but if it makes you feel better about the situation.”

From the way he says it, you don't deny it. It dawns on you that you really know nothing about his people. Do they age like you? Do they age at all? 

“How old are you?” 

"Older than you by far, I promise. What a rude question. How old are you?" 

“Old enough. But that doesn’t answer my question. Don’t deflect.”

"No manners, you humans." He ponders it for a minute. "You count the passing of time in revolutions around the sun, right? I'd bet I had been an adult for a very long time while you were still learning to walk on wobbly little legs." 

It's your turn to laugh now, and he doesn't seem amused. "You're an old man! Ew! You're an interspecies cradle robber!"

"I'm not old! We live exponentially longer than you! I'll still be in my prime when you're an elder!" His pallid face is dusted slightly red in frustration, and it's almost funnier than his reaction. 

"Whatever you say, grandpa! Do you have an undersea walker? Drink sea prune juice? Is that why your hair is silver? Cause you're old?"

Self consciously, he strokes the front of his long bangs between his fingers. "No! You're an immature little brat!" 

"Back in my day~" You barely dodge a swipe from one of his claws as he jumps as far forward as he can and swings at you. "Careful gramps, you don't wanna hurt yourself. You’ll break a hip or whatever it is you have."

He sneers at you and you bask in the minor victory.

You sit in silence; him with a scowl tightly pulled across his thin lips, and you with a smug little grin. So it’s not impossible to get under his scales. 

He’s a world class pouter, you’ll give him that. He doesn’t strike you as vain, but this is probably uncharted territory for him; actually talking to a human and subsequently being made fun of for his age. He’s probably not used to being mocked in any sense of the word, seeing as he’s a ‘non existent’ mythical creature. Maybe his kind are prideful, if a little childish. He claims to have existed for ages, but he still has the mannerisms you’d attribute to a male around your age. Maybe a tad immature and explosive himself. You guess some things don’t change with the species. Aggression, domination, and sex. And murder, in his case. 

Some things are universal, it seems. 

He’s making a show of ignoring you now, clicking his claws together in a subconscious attempt to threaten you. They are awfully sharp. You swear looking at them makes the gashes on your arm start to ache all over again. Occasionally the fins on the side of his head twitch in an almost catlike manner, turning toward whatever source of sound can be heard. It’s so strange to you, you can’t help but stare. He looks ethereal, even as impudent as he’s acting. With the backdrop of the ocean and the moon behind him, he looks like a painting that belongs in a gallery. You can’t stop yourself from leering at him.

You’re trying to ignore the fact that he definitely takes notice. 

He's angry at you, displeasure still slightly evident in his face, but a small smile crooks his lips. You've clearly offended him but your leering goes a little way towards soothing the hairs you've rubbed the wrong way. For whatever reason, knowing you find him attractive puffs his feathers- er, scales- with pride. Body language relaxes between the two of you and a few minutes of quiet follows. 

Yet, it's difficult to keep a pleasant silence when the company you keep is far from familiar. This isn't two friends relaxing on a beach; at least unless most friends are malevolent ocean dwelling creatures with an end goal of filling the other's lung with sea water. 

The lack of noise makes you antsy, almost like you're anticipating something but you're unsure of what. It feels false somehow, like you're trying to turn this isn't something it isn't; comfortable. No matter how his casual demeanor tries to lull you into a false sense of security, you have to remain vigilant. One little slip and he'll drag you into a watery grave- among other things if he was serious. 

“So… What do you eat?”

He slow blinks at you a few times before grinning, light glinting off his all-too-sharp fangs. “You mean besides you?”

There’s multiple implications to that, neither one of which you want to ponder for various reasons. Your panties are already uncomfortably damp.

“Yes. Besides us.”

Shrugging, he flicks at a small pebble on the rocks edge and plunks it into the water. "Same thing you would if you were one of us. There's plenty of fish down here, only difference is I can eat them raw." 

Your nose crumples and you stick your tongue out slightly, imagining him taking a bite out of a still-twitching fish. "Ew."

He rolls his eyes, brushing your obvious disgust aside. "If I recall, don't you humans have multiple dishes you eat raw?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, but it's different. We actually prepare it."

"Sounds like a whole lot of fuss over nothing. Your weak stomach just can't handle it and mine can, and you seem to find that to be some sort of bragging point. Also, don't you humans have a tendency to put things in your mouth that don't belong there?" 

“Didn’t I already tell you to shut up about that?” 

"I don't know, I'd say the occasional raw fish is a lot less dirty than a human male c-"

“Oh my god! I am so sorry I fucking asked!”

He cackles loudly and you realize that he's officially found your hot button. Even worse is he knows it. "I mean that's not to say we don't have our own filthy habits, but you guys are inspiring-"

"Dude! Make like a tunafish and can it! I don't want to hear any of this!"

"Oh? Is that so? Because around 10 minutes ago, you were half ready to rip your clothes off and jump in here and let me try you even if it meant your death."

"Momentary lapse in judgement. Don't get too excited, grandpa." 

He frowns again but seems less offended now that the initial moment had passed. "If you insist upon calling me a nickname pertaining to my age, I'd prefer daddy."

All humor drops from your face. How the fuck does he even know about that? 

As if he can read your mind, he responds. "A lot of you humans like to reproduce here. I've seen quite a bit and heard even more. Like I said, you’re absolutely filthy creatures.” 

“Ah. Yeah. That makes sense.”

“My offer stands. Come a little closer and I’ll show you just what I learned.”

“Creep.”

“That makes two of us, now doesn’t it?”

"I'm not the one bringing up sex every 3 seconds."

Hey, do you know how awkward it is to be having this conversation? With him? Right now? Do you know how utterly surreal this is?

“No, but you’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

Your cheeks burn and you know it doesn't matter what you say. Your face is a dead giveaway. He knows it too, crossing his arm and arching a cocky brow at you. 

“And I’m the pervert, huh?”

You wrap your arms around your legs again in a subconscious show of defense. "Yes, you are. This is a natural response to embarrassing topics. Topics you keep coming back to." 

He shrugs again, his head fins twitching a few times. "I don't deny my nature. If I feel lustful, I act on it. Another reason you humans are inferior. You deny what comes naturally in the name of some form of... shame, is it? I have no bonds holding me back, while yours are pointless and dictated by some invisible and shallow form of ‘morality’ and ‘purity." 

He’s… technically right. Still.

"You realize you're saying this to the person you're trying to kill, right?" 

"I'm aware. Consider it a parting gift. You can feel what it's like to be untethered before I end you."

You roll your eyes so deeply that you’re almost certain you’ve detached the retina. “Oh, how very kind of you. So thoughtful.” 

"It’s not entirely altruistic, but it's better than I was originally planning. I was just going to rip you apart the second I pulled you in. Of course, that was before I got a good look at you. It'd be a shame to waste such a pretty thing without getting a taste first.”

It's a twisted compliment, but you appreciate it, at least as much as the circumstances allow. 

“Thanks…  I think?” 

"It's a good thing, I promise. I won't just touch anyone, you know. Most of your kind repulses me. I'm not an easy please." 

"Oh." Another awkward silence. "What makes me so special, anyways?"

His face blanks over, eyes hardening and mouth pursing in a tight line. He opens his lips a few times to speak, but seemingly stops himself. His expression flashes confusion, then rage, then apathy in quick succession. "I don't know. It won't matter for long anyways, soon you'll be dead and I can move on." 

“Not if I win.”

"You won't. I don't lose. Besides, I've already almost gotten you twice. It's only a matter of time before you slip up again, and I'll be there to catch you when you do."

"Put it like that and it almost sounds sweet." A smile tugs at your lips despite yourself. 

His face flushes and he looks away from you, expression contorting. “It’s not. Don’t twist my words.” 

“Spoilsport. Go eat a mackerel or something. You’re not yourself when you’re hungry. Or maybe you are. Either way, you’re cranky.”

"It's hard not to be cranky when there's a meal right in front of me and I can't indulge."

"Quit threatening to eat me. I get the point, it's just weird.”

His thick tongue flicks out and runs across those glimmering teeth and he just smiles. "Who said anything about eating?" 

“Give it a rest.”

He swipes a small amount of water at you with his thumb and forefinger. "Deny it all you'd like, you enjoy the attention." 

"Definitely. I love being the first human to be hit on by the world's first mermaid fuckboy."

A hybrid mix of a groan and a growl rumbles from his chest. "I'm not a fucking mermaid!" 

"Oh, sorry!" The sarcasm is palpable, and he scowls at you again. You love the fact he doesn't deny the secondary insult. "I meant merman." 

"Don't insult me. As if your petty, unimaginative fairytales could even come close." 

"You have a tail, you live underwater, and you're half human. Sounds pretty damn close to me." 

The look on his face is as if you just forced him to swallow something extraordinarily disgusting. "You have no idea what I'm capable of. And I'm not half human. You're half us."

Now that takes you off guard. 

“What did you say? What do you mean?”

"It doesn't matter." He pushes himself away from the rocks, his tail slightly flapping above the surface. "Besides, you were right. I am hungry. I should probably find something to eat for tonight, unless you’ve changed your mind." He doesn’t bother waiting for you to retort before skillfully diving down back beneath the waves.

You want to stop him, but he’s gone before you can think of a creative way to say ‘hell no’. The slight dash of silver hair makes out towards the horizon and before long, he's gone. As always, he leaves you feeling more frustrated than anything. 

You want to stay, to enjoy the ocean like you used to before he barged his way into your life, but it all just feels too strange now. He won't return tonight, you know that much. 

Heaving yourself off your asleep butt, you begin your bowlegged walk back to civilization, left with nothing but the ache of a cramp in your hips and a strangely heavy feeling in your gut.

[globophobicligyrophobiccontent]

[Updating regularly! LEAVE SUGGESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS!]

If you want me to write more extensive about this and other characters' globophobia, I'll do it.

I've always liked the fact that some characters have fears or phobias, they make them easier to empathize). And now imagine that the characters have our phobia, it's the not you are alone, you are not crazy that we need sometimes. But without further blahblah let's get started

-Komodo (Animal Mechanicals): This is the character that enlightened me as a child and for whom I make this list. Mechanimals are, that, robot animals, that go on missions, learn things, a preschool series basically. In this episode, they had to go to a volcano that releases balloons, but they were exploding, and they had to find a way to stop them. And as they go to the island, one of the balloons explodes and Komodo freaks out, and BOOM, my child's mind lit up. The simple fact that a character has my fear changed my world. [You can find this chapter on YouTube: Balloon Volcano Island]

-Lacey (Corner Gas): I found this from pure searching. In short, they throw a party for this character Lacey, who seems to have balloonphobia, and then at the end of the chapter she goes to therapy with a friend who also has it and now she can take them better. [You can find this chapter in some "third party" service]

-Clyde (The Loud House): Another that I found watching cartoons. In one chapter, Lincoln's friend, Clyde, mentions having strange reactions when trying to blow up balloons (the typical symptoms, dizziness, blurred vision, etc.) And although he tries to overcome it, he still cannot.

-BoBoiBoy: This series shows how far off the internet I managed to get by looking for info about my phobia hahahaha. In short, it is an Malaysian series about a boy with superpowers. In one of those, his enemy catches him, and takes him to a torture room to get information from him, where by mistake his henchmen throw him a party. Angry by mistake he pops a balloon, and discovers that BBB scares him. They put him to the limit and he manages to unleash his superpower. [You can find this scene on YouTube]

-Roy (The IT Crowd): Now with a series a little more known. Roy mentions that he is going to a party, which his friend asks if it was that he did not like parties, to which he responds one of the best phrases I use to explain my phobia "Balloons explode Jen, they explode so suddenly and unexpectedly, that they have the capacity to give me a little fright, and I find that unbearable." [You can find the scene on YouTube]

-Snails (MLPEg): Of all this was the most unexpected. In this special of "Choose your ending", the equestria girls should see how to move props in the background of a theater easily, if you choose the Pinkie Pie, she will change things for balloons so that they move more easily. Between scenes, Snail mentions that he is not afraid of balloons, which can be seen as obviously not, and even accompanies his friend when he is scared to explode one. [You can find this chapter on YouTube: MLPEqG: All the world's off stage (Pinkie Pie Ending)]

-Brainy (Supergirl): This one is kinda new. Even tho I don't watch Supergirl, I'm always up for good representation of our phobia. In one of the newest episodes, some characters are facing their fears, even tho the majority of the characters have "emotional" fears (Betrayal, loneliness, lossing a loved one), Brainy has some sort of fear of balloons. He can see the room full of them, but he can still do his job very well (even tho he knows they aren't real). Fans theorized that the fear itself it's a metaphor for his true worries and power(I guess, correct me if I'm wrong) popping out at any moment. [You can find this episode on "third party" services like Cuevana, or on TV I guess]

-Humf: Humf is a little monster who lives everyday adventures and discovers the world around him. In one of the episodes, Humf is playing with his friends, when his uncle came to visit him bringing balloons to play. At first everything seem fun, playing with the air that came out of the balloon, chasing the balloon around and playing with the static, but for accident, Humf sits on the balloon, making it pop. After that, he realized balloons are loud, so he refuses to play with another balloons for fear of popping. Looking for a way to get back Humf to the games, his uncle starts making sound with the mouth of the balloon, thing that calls the attention of Humf. With help of his friend, Humf is back to play. Even tho Humf is still scared of the pops, he finds his way to play with balloons again. For me, the one of the best representations of this phobia. [You can find this chapter on YouTube: Humf and the balloons]

-A.N.T. Farm: Olive Doyle claims she has many phobias, including "ghosts, vampires, witches, zombies, leprechauns, giraffes, double decker buses, balloons and... (shudders) curly fries." Just mentioned as a comic relief I guess.

-King of the hill: Bill seems scared when Hank mentioned balloons. just mentioned once.

[+18? Kinda but not explicit] -Bob's burguer: In the episode "It snakes a village" when the family goes to visit Linda's parents to a seniors home village, the regiment seems to be filled with old people (ehemswingersehem), but points aside, it seems like Linda's mom, Gloria, is easily startles by loud sudden noises, such as the back lid of the car being closed, people surprising her from behind, and balloons of course. On the other side, his husband Al, seems to have a f3ti$h of woman popping balloons, clearly some opposites. At the end of the episode, they discover that they can mix both things and "try new things", as Bob gives Gloria a pair of headphones. This is an interesting way to show the fear, since it's pretty know that sometimes phobias can do a 180° turn around and became a ehemehemphword, being balloons a good example.

-Whomp! Comics: In this webcomic series, the protagonist, Ronnie, clearly has a phobia of loud sudden noises. In various comics, he seems to be scared of thunder, biscuits cans and balloons. [You can find this comic online, if you're looking specifically for the ones mentioned here, just search on Google "whomp comic fear of balloons/thunder"]

-Mae, Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn: When Mae was first introduced in Dawn Moves Out, during her sleepover with Dawn, which helps Dawn realize that it's time to move out to her own bedroom instead of sharing with her brothers. She reveals that she is afraid of balloons. She was saving that secret as part of a sleepover game, then by accident, Dawn's mom bring some balloons at the room, scarier Mae, even tho after Dawn put them out of the room, her dad bring them back again, scaring her again. This fear is mentioned again when in one episode she's keeping a class secret from Dawn and her brothers, so Dawn uses a balloon turkey (And popped it) to intimidate Mae and make her talk.

-"Jillian Holtzmann" The Ghostbusters: I really don't know about this character's phobia, the only thing I find it's the trivia, I'll try to update this. (Update I guess: According to a comics artist, she always been that way, no the thing I expected but ok at the same time, we don't own explanations to no one)

Anyways, I hope you like my post, do you know more characters with our phobia?

[iamnotawomanimagod]

there is this sort of interesting like, reversed process happening wrt aging on the internet

when people my age (late 20s/early 30s) first started getting social media accounts, most of our parents didn't know anything about them. maybe exceptionally tech-savvy or nerdy parents did, but there really weren't many 35+ adults on social media, at first. other online spaces like forums and chatrooms existed and were obviously frequented by adults and kids alike, but it wasn't nearly as common to live so much of your life online, unless you were exceptionally nerdy. social media changed that, made being and socializing online mainstream. a lot of that change started in younger groups, like teenagers and college students.

and I remember when peoples' parents starting getting Myspace, and later on, Facebook accounts, and there was this general uproar of "parents don't belong on [social media website]" and there were these big debates about whether or not you should have your parents on your friends' lists, etc etc. it was considered kind of invasive by a lot of teens (when I was one) to have your parents (and by extension, adults in general) enter your online social space. I even knew some people who would not accept friend requests from people who were followed by their parents.

and now those of us who were kids then are still on the social media sites that have lasted - like Tumblr and Twitter and AO3 and so on - are adults, many of us married and/or with children. we've been here for years, and we like it, and we have no intention of moving on.

but at the same time, there are also teenagers coming into their own online social spaces now, but those spaces are the same. there is a ton of overlap. it's pretty much nothing but overlap, now. teenagers aren't necessarily afforded the same "privacy" from adult onlookers that we were.

the internet isn't as endless as it was when I was a kid. there used to be specialized websites for every topic imaginable - now everything comes from aggregated newsfeeds. we're all sharing space on the same five or six platforms.

so there's this interesting and uncomfortable standoff happening between younger folks and older folks, because younger folks are still trying to carve out their own niches, but adults are everywhere online now, because most of us have been online since current kids were in diapers.

so we had that luxury of making our own spaces and then those spaces being entered by adults, whereas kids today moreso have the opposite experience.