#why are the villains always so goddamn fucking boring

[marsystars]

One Batman villain's silliness is worth 1000 mcu villians

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day seven!)

(it’s been a whole week wow look at you go :0)

(read them all here!)

it’s been a week since you started serving dynamight his afternoon coffee, but it felt like it’s been so much longer.

not in a bad way, of course. it wasn’t boring (that’s the last thing you’d call it) and it wasn’t tiresome to deal with the pro, either, which, frankly, surprised you, after googling him one night and finding out that, along with being the number one hero in japan, was also the number one most tiresome in japan, with an explosive temper and sharp words that could cut through steel.

but, every day, at 4:56pm, a different kind of smile appeared on your face as the door bells chimed their happy little chime and a tall blond lumbers in. he always looked so out of place. expensive-looking clothes and a tall frame in a humble coffee shop with mostly old people in nameless clothing. today was also one of those days.

“good afternoon.” you greet, already ringing up his medium black coffee. “what would you like?”

“you’re not gonna believe it.” he drawls sarcastically.

“medium black coffee for dynamight?” you grin. dynamight nods, before pausing.

“no, make it for bakugo.”

“bakugo?” you repeat, editing the name on the computer. bakugo scoffed.

“yeah. ‘m sick and tired of hearing my hero name right now.” he grunted.

“how come?” you ask as you take the bills he held out, pulling out the cash drawer to give him his change.

“more fuckin’ reporters that want interviews.” he replied sourly.

“must be exhausting.” you say sympathetically as you hand him his change and he goes to sit down at his barstool.

“can’t fuckin’ stand them.” he huffed as you pour his coffee, watching you closely.

“it’s part of being a hero, i guess.” you shrug, sliding him the steaming mug.

“that’s the part i hate.” bakugo took a sip of his coffee and seemed content with it.

“i’m a hero. i beat the shit out of villains for a living. why the hell should i be doing some god-awful interview when there are still goddamn villains out there?” he spat. he had a point, there. frankly, you weren’t completely sure of the answer yourself.

“i guess it’s all for publicity.”

“that’s exactly what it’s for.” bakugo seethed. “and i hate it. i don’t give a shit about any of that stuff.” you figured. in every interview video you’d watched of him, he was absolutely and completely grumpy, and very clearly not wanting to be there.

“you’re pretty high on the popularity rankings, though,” you point out. last you’d checked, he was number two. bakugo only scowled. sore subject. deku was number one.

“second. to deku.” he spat.

“do you intend to beat him in that area, too?” you ask curiously, indeed wondering whether his rivalry with deku would expand into a realm that he couldn’t care less about.

“…i dunno.” bakugo answered after a moment. “if i did it’d be easy as hell.”

“would it?” you reply, amused at his answer. he was grumpy and short tempered, definitely the best way to be if you want to be the most popular hero.

“i’m second without even trying.” bakugo retorted. “don’t give me that skeptical shit.”

“you’ve got a point.” you hum.

“i’ve always got a point.”

“that you do.”

“and i’m always right.”

“uh huh.”

“quit giving me that tone!” bakugo barked. you could practically see the irk mark. you only laugh.

“sorry, sorry, i’ll stop.” you raise your hands in surrender.

“you’re a fuckin’ brat, you know that?”

“you love me.” you grin. “and you’d be stuck without coffee if i wasn’t here.”

“fuck off. this isn’t the only place i get can get coffee, y’know.”

“but it’s the only place you can get it without being bothered by the paparazzi.” you counter. bakugo scowled. you were right.

“shut up, dumbass.”

“admit it.”

“hell no.” bakugo finished his coffee. “i’m done anyway.”

“leaving so soon?” you smile.

“yeah, well, i got shit to do.” bakugo replied.

“number one hero shit?” you clarified.

“yeah, number one hero shit.”

“no, make it for bakugo.”

<- previous next->

(feel free to comment + leave ur thoughts :)

[lastweeksshirttonight]

Lee is re-watching Sherlock for some fucking reason - Season One

I'm well aware that the crossover between "currently popular and loved British comedian in the US updates, thirst, and accoutrements" and "BBC show that went so off the rails that people now like to pretend Andrew Scott's breakout role was the Hot Priest in Fleabag" is limited, but weirdly, returning to Sherlock was one of the few things that was keeping my brain somewhat grounded and whirring during Work Hell.

We're in uncharted territory here. You're gonna learn a bit about the things I do when I'm not tracking John Oliver obsessively. I am nervous about this but hey, I'm guessing most of you knew I don't solely live and breathe John Oliver. (I know. I have multitudes. This is a shocking revelation. Please take time to process it.)

Firstly, a content note - there's going to be discussion about queerbaiting and queercoding villains, and the beginning of this goes into some of James Somerton's absolutely disgusting claims about the AIDS crisis. This post will only be focused on Season One, as that's all I've finished at this point.

Let's go.

(above image sourced from Writing Tips and Memes)

My sudden re-emergent hyperfixation started because of the hbomberguy takedown of James Somerton, weirdly. I don't follow many YouTubers - I like Bright Sun Films because he goes urban exploring, something I've always wanted to do but have never managed to make happen, and also Todd in the Shadows, whose Trainwreckords series is very well-done and expertly researched. Seeing that name, you might know where this is going. Todd dropped a video about James Somerton, who I had never fucking heard of and now wish I'd known about before, so I could scream bloody murder about what an absolute fuckwad he is.

(I don't want to get too in the weeds here, but the things James asserted about WWII, Nazis, and the AIDS crisis are so vehemently offensive that I'm still struggling with them. Claiming that only boring gays survived the AIDS crisis in particular is so vile that I have gotten anger flashes thinking about it almost daily since hearing it.)

Todd recommended watching all four hours of the hbomberguy plagiarism video, and I ran that in the background while working about two weeks ago. Eventually I had to stop doing that because the plagiarism revelations were so distracting and shocking. Todd's video was even more of a goddamn mindfuck, and even the smaller, less offensive things have taken up far too much space in my brain. Californians, does anyone at all deify Bob Iger??? Like... what the goddamn fuck??? Bob Iger????

After watching one hbomberguy video, the algorithm did its thing, and gave me a video called "Sherlock is Garbage and Here's Why". Posting it here for posterity:

Because my brain works in mysterious ways (-cough-ADHD-cough-), watching this... made me want to rewatch Sherlock.

I initially saw Sherlock for the first time thanks to someone I met in my last year of college, 2012. At the time, Michael (a nickname) was my neighbor in the dorms; over the past ten years, she's become one of my closest friends and a true rock in my life. One of the first things we bonded over that I introduced her to was the San Francisco Giants and the ghost I will always be chasing, Tim Lincecum; one of the first things we bonded over that she introduced me to was BBC Sherlock. The show was in the early months of its extended hiatus after Season Two, at the height of its fandom, and we were both completely obsessed. I read all the Doyle stories, took in a truly wild amount of fanfiction, wrote a not-very-popular AU fic, became part of a strange inter-dorm ARG based on Sherlock orchestrated by Michael... it consumed a huge part of our lives.

When Season 3 dropped, I almost stopped watching after "The Empty Hearse". I don't want to get into why it offended me so much before we get to a Season 3 post, but just know my enthusiasm severely dampened there. The rest of Season 3 I think of with blase emotions, especially the ending, which I found just dumb, save one part of it. I recall going to see The Abominable Bride in theatres with my mom (and maybe Michael?), and I think I liked it fine - aside, again, from the ending. But I had no interest in a Season Four, and when it dropped, Michael's long rambling phone calls describing the absolute shitstorm of a plot cemented that I was never going to watch it again.

Until now.

I definitely don't think the hbomberguy video is perfect. His insistence that Doyle canon never had Holmes pull answers to cases out of his ass is... something, lol, as is his opinion that changing the solution to certain puzzles in A Study in Pink disrespects the original canon. (Bro, these stories have been retold a bajillion times, they need to mix it up to keep it interesting.) But he put a finger on something that I'd wrestled with regarding Sherlock for a long time - that the show's writing often teased something big and new and conclusive in the horizon, but almost never delivered. That wasn't an issue in early days when there was less invested in an increasingly convoluted mythic story, or when they weren't fully blowing off the resolutions to cliffhangers, but the flaw in writing a story where you promise something huge on the horizon and never deliver should be obvious.

The first season doesn't trade much in that idea, and going back to it was something I found exceptionally enjoyable!

Before I watched:

I remembered bits and pieces of "A Study in Pink" and the whole plot in summary.

I truly didn't remember anything about "The Blind Banker" except that I found it fairly 'yellow peril'-y when I saw it in 2012.

I mixed up huge chunks of Season Two's "A Scandal in Belgravia" with "The Great Game" in my head and somehow forgot the main plot thrust was Moriarty kidnapping people and strapping bombs to them.

I genuinely forgot Sebastian Moran was a character basically hallucinated into existence by the fandom and didn't appear in the show at all until a brief appearance in Season Three.

In a way, it was like I was watching the show for the first time all over again. My partner also watched the first season with me, and it was interesting to get his thoughts on the show as we watched.

To start, his favorite character is Mycroft. Watching Season One, I had to agree that Mycroft has a depth of character that I'd forgotten about. Mark Gatiss plays him perfectly, aloof and smarter than you but unsure of how to deal with his natural feelings of concern and fear for his oft-spiraling, danger-seeking younger brother - and how those feelings magnify with the influence of extreme danger-seeker (at least in this season) John Watson. The show wants you to believe so badly that he's Moriarty in "A Study in Pink", which I don't think works even if you know he isn't Moriarty - there's a warmth to Gatiss' Mycroft that, even while he's doing incredibly ominous things like shutting off all cameras in a busy intersection, still comes through.

My favorite character is Moriarty. I haven't mentioned this very much here, because why would I, but my favorite character type in media is "theatrical abject shithead". It's why I cosplay Bakugo from My Hero Academia and loved everything about Akechi in Persona 5. Hell when I was a kid, I told teachers that when I grew up, I wanted to join Team Rocket. I love the theatrical shitheads. And boy, is Moriarty some sort of theatrical shithead. I don't DISAGREE with hbomberguy pointing out that, as written, Moriarty is a complete mess of a character, a queer-coded literal terrorist with no motivations besides "I did that because I'M CRAAAAZY!"... but he's my queer-coded literal terrorist, ok? I could write a whole paper on all the harmful stereotypes inhabiting this version of Moriarty... but I can't deny that the flamboyance and violence pulsing just beneath the surface of Andrew Scott's performance was the beating heart of that show for me. Sure, Sherlock and John, at least early on, were a compelling duo, but the show was at its best with Moriarty pulling strings for inexplicable reasons in the background. I love him.

(An aside: watching Sherlock made me remember how hilarious it was to see basically every major actor from the show in one of my favorite movies of all time, 1917, to the point that I actually kinda laughed in the theatre thinking about it.)

The entirety of the first season also is more devoted to actual crime-solving and detective work than I remembered the show being. I think that works strongly in its favor, and as I recall things from later seasons, drifting from that element definitely hampers the show greatly. In particular, while the lazy and uncomfortable Orientalism of "The Blind Banker" is still incredibly glaring, the actual mystery at the core of it is very excitingly tracked and easily followed while watching. The fact that John is treated like an equal (mostly) throughout only enhances my thoughts on that. "The Great Game" is a little more slapdash (and hurt by the fact that the entire Vermeer section would be solvable with a smartphone nowadays), but you can still make connections mentally with most of the cases and deduction/investigation is being shown logically. (hbomberguy cites the Golem as a problematic logical leap akin to some of Season Two's dumbest, and I can't agree. It's a reasonable suspension of disbelief to assume Sherlock knows about assassins and is followed by some more sensible investigation and inspection of the Golem's victim. The sequence of Sherlock fighting the Golem, however, is very, very silly.)

Related to that... the autopsy doctors on this show are fucking AWFUL at their jobs. Like straight-up negligently awful. How in the actual fuck did they not investigate the puncture marks on Connie Price's body? How did they not notice a highly distinctive heel tattoo on three recently-murdered corpses? Is Molly the only vaguely competent person in the mortuary? My partner and I were extremely amused that, while Lestrade and his police force are thankfully shown with much more intelligence than in other Holmes adaptations and BBC!Watson wouldn't think jam is a clue, the writers seem to have shunted the stupidity straight to the invisible autopsy doctors.

The first season also does a good job of making Sherlock seem like an overly intelligent if socially stunted human being, instead of the condescending prickish intellectual Ubermensch he ends up becoming as the show progresses. "A Study in Pink"'s ending being Sherlock throwing aside his deduction of the cabbie's killer when he realizes it's Watson, unconvincingly lying to Lestrade and insisting he's in shock before rejoining the other man and genuinely bonding with him, is remarkably compelling as fulfillment of a promise we get from Lestrade earlier in the episode - "Sherlock Holmes is a great man. One day he may even be a good one." My memory is admittedly faulty, but part of why "The Empty Hearse" turned me off so viscerally was Sherlock's (and to an extent, Mycroft's) insufferable growing smugness, particularly where explaining plans or mysteries to John. We get told often that Watson humanizes Sherlock and that the two have a strong bond throughout the series, but Sherlock gets much more dickish in general as the series progresses. One thing I do remember with stark clarity is that after being utterly chastised at a Christmas party in "A Scandal in Belgravia", Sherlock does visibly treat Molly MUCH better throughout the remainder of the show. So, uh, why did we lose that energy with the show's central pairing?

Speaking of the show's central pairing, the queerbaiting starts SO EARLY on this show. I want to make it clear that obviously the benefit of hindsight and knowledge of how the show ends really colors a lot about the Johnlock relationship now, and as a society, we're more aware of what queerbaiting is and what it looks like, which will obviously alter how I perceive these interactions now. I also want to make it clear that I never really shipped Johnlock outside of just kind of assuming that it would be canon because everyone seemed really convinced of it. (I was an absolute degenerate that shipped John with Moriarty. On top of enjoying theatrical disasters, I enjoy ships with an abundance of chaos and impossibility.) There's some biases at play here.

Even so, we are not far into the episode where John is protesting that obviously he needs a second bed in 221B to Mrs. Hudson, he's not gay! The scene in the restaurant has such an aggressively shippy energy to it (despite Watson's consistent denials) that I actively commented on it to my partner as it was happening, saying "the queerbaiting happens WAY SOONER than I thought!" It's distracting and has aged absolutely terribly. The worst by far is John quipping, after being removed from a bomb vest at a pool in "The Great Game", that people will talk because of Sherlock ripping his clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. Why is Watson's heterosexuality so fragile that he's thinking about gossip rags as he's actively recovering from a near-death experience?!

(Aside: I'm aware that last point is not as effective when you think about the fact that I shipped two characters whose sole canonical interaction was one man kidnapping and forcing the other into a bomb vest. In my defense, a) I love mess and b) John never quips about thinking people will talk because he got kidnapped.)

Moriarty's first appearance in "The Great Game" sees him as Molly's fake boyfriend slipping a phone number to Sherlock, which lead to my partner commenting about how distracting it also was, on top of the queerbaiting, that almost every single person on the show has some sort of deep metaphysical attraction to Sherlock. Those people aren't on the lighting and cinematography team for sure; Benedict Cumberbatch is lit ominously and sometimes demonically throughout the first season, highlighting his antihero and brusque nature effectively. But many, many characters in the show - just in season one, Molly, Moriarty, multiple characters of the day, the Cabbie, and John - are all drawn to Sherlock and his very special brain and his very sharp cheekbones. Signs of a big future problem come through in this way, where the show starts sidelining Watson as our central figure and puts Sherlock squarely at the center of everyone's universe and makes lesbians fall in love with him.

(My partner also laughed pretty hard at how obvious Moriarty's pratfalls were as Molly's boyfriend, noting that the show was pretty bad at hiding who Moriarty was every time it came up.)

Some of the seeds of Sherlock's destruction are sown in this first season, obviously. The big one I haven't touched on is the ending cliffhanger itself. Moriarty has John and Sherlock trapped in the pool, tens of sniper sights trained on them, and says that he can't let them escape. Amazing cliffhanger here! It is not fulfilled on at all, but because Andrew Scott can carry anything on his back (including Spectre, which I cannot start talking about because we'll be here all day), the scene doesn't feel like a total waste and makes you want to hang on to find out what happens later.

But there was so much here that was delightful. All the acting is uniformly excellent, and the overt physical tics that come to define Sherlock's mind palace and mental prowess being showcased are barely evident here. The actual detective work, like I said earlier, is really involving! I don't feel like I figured out the solutions for the mysteries I couldn't recall the answers for too easily and thought Sherlock's deductive reason largely followed and wasn't too obscure. I'm still such a sucker for the show's style - that opening credits sequence is so perfectly put together, the text messages that interact with the scene and at the time made this show feel so fresh and modern to me, filming the character's faces in taxis through panes of glass and obscuring material in "A Study in Pink" to give everything an obfuscating sheen... give me all of it.

The music, too, was something I'd forgotten about and truly ended up adoring. Taskmaster (and The Horne Section's score for it) really owes a debt to Michael Price and David Arnold. So much of Sherlock's score could probably be dropped straight into a Taskmaster episode and I would have to think pretty hard to notice a difference in the show's usual musical palette. I've been eyeballing the vinyl on eBay, to give you an idea of how much I love this score. "The Game is On" is a perfect piece of music, clockwork spinning noises emphasizing the jauntiness of Sherlock as he drags Watson on his latest case before sliding into the more subdued, vaguely ominous thrum of its second movement descending into the madness of the third part, violins shrieking as the action reaches its apex.

Normally, with such a degree of pleasant surprise, I'd be eager to move forward to Season Two. Unfortunately, I know the first episode of Season Two is... a doozy. To say the least. A doozy that may get its own essay because of how doozy-ish it is.

In any case, I ended up really enjoying going back to Season One of Sherlock! Super down to talk further about the show, future write-ups, and my horrible taste in fictional ships and men - shoot me a message, reply to this post, wherever, I'll be here! <3

[esc-is-holding-me-hostage]

Okay, I'm finally done with the annual quick reviews. Overall opinion: it's 2020 all over again but the lows are not so low (and the highs are not as high either). The competition is very open, which is refreshing after last year's one-horse race disguised as a two-horse race. There are no songs I would listen to after the contest but as a Eurovision lineup it's pretty entertaining and varied. Also, the girl-bopocalypse of 2021 was much better. Albania The decision of translating the song into English is already questionable but did we really need a fucking dance beat in the last chorus?

Armenia I love how fun it is, but I wish there were, you know, lyrics in the chorus

Australia You couldn't have made a more unsettling music video if you've tried.

Austria I don't know why they've decided to go with bloody eurodance this year. It does not feel updated for the modern times, it's not a cheeky pastiche either. We Will Rave feels like it's been lying around in a vault for the past 20+ years and then the Austrian delegation accidentally stumbled upon it and decided that yes, it will be a perfect Eurovision pick. I still don't hate it though? It might become my guilty pleasure of the year even.

Azerbaijan Why would you bring a guy with such a charismatic moustache just to do a little 10-second chant near the end? He deserves better!

Belgium I should love it. It should've been my number 1, it's Belgium going back to Dark and Moody™, it's what I always want from them. And yet I only like it. The last minute or so is great, but the lead up to that is whatever and doesn't do anything for me.

Croatia The chorus is weak and kinda generic, but the verses are so good they make up for it. The "please meow back" line receives the award for the best lyric of the year.

Cyprus For a twice (or possibly thrice) recycled song it's surprisingly okay. Nothing groundbreaking, it's still a dance-pop song from Kontopoulos, but it's fine.

Czechia I have a complex love-hate relationship with this one. The melody is great, it's exactly the kind of music I listen to outside of ESC. But good lord, do I hate the repetitive self-empowerment lyrics in the chorus.

Denmark Ehhh... She's a good singer I guess.

Estonia I think it's my favorite song of the year? Similarly to Trenulețul it just activates some primal dance spirit in me. Suit jackets on the naked body are still a crime against humanity tho.

Finland Yeah, I'm sorry, but if you hate No Rules, then you hate fun.

France France keeps trying to hide from us what's actually popular in their country.

Georgia It's another generic girl-bop ESC song, we've got half-a-dozen of these this year, but goddamn Nutsa is a fucking powerhouse.

Germany Imagine Dragons-ass production aside, the elephant sounds are such a bizarre choice.

Greece ... I'm sorry but Zari sounds like a bunch of noises with no melody to me, I'm very much not the target audience for this one and I don't get why everyone seems to love it so much.

Iceland Yeah, it's dated and kinda lame but in a very charming way.

Ireland Doomsday Blues is great, but because of all the layering and vocal distortions the live version will always be very different from the studio one. What I'm trying to say is that the live version sounds like an off-off-Broadway villain song.

Israel It's boring as fuck.

Italy It's nice but similarly to Greece I have no idea why is it so beloved by the fandom.

Latvia The song is so boring, that the most talked about part of Latvia's entry is Dons' lack of hair.

Lithuania After I've reassured myself that no, Luktelk does NOT sound like a Ruki Vverkh song it became pretty good.

Luxembourg So much potential in Luxembourg's comeback and yet they went with the most mid(tempo) song ever.

Malta Another generic girl-bop, and the closest we've gotten to an actual SloMo copycat, but it's okay I guess.

Moldova I almost forgot to write anything about Moldova before posting it, which is all you need to know about my opinion on In The Middle.

Netherlands I hate to say it, but I kinda love it? Yeah, Joost has the most punchable face in the history of humanity and I've made several references to my comedically exaggerated hatred of 90s dance music, but Europapa just keeps getting better the more I listen to it.

Norway I like it, but can't really say anything about it other than that.

Poland Very "topped at number 37 in Billboard hot 100 in 2019 and then was featured in a couple ads"-coded

Portugal One of the Portuguese entries of all time (i still like it tho)

San Marino Not as good as Arcadia but I'm happy Megara have made it to Eurovision anyway :)

Serbia It's fine.

Slovenia Similarly to Belgium, I wish I loved it more than I do.

Spain Really fun entry, iconic journey to ESC, but the weak vocals will be the reason the juries will murder Zorra in the Grand Final.

Sweden Not as forgettable as everyone says it is but it's still polished Swedish pop entry #569328

Switzerland From testing the limits of my attention span two years ago to making the most ADHD song of the year, huh. The Code is so many things at once and yet it works without feeling like a disjointed mess.

Ukraine I miss the times when Jerry was making funny meme songs, now we're stuck with her religious awakening era. Alyona's verse is the highlight of the song, everything else is good if you don't think about the lyrics too much.

United Kingdom I don't know how, but the UK has managed to make a decent song that I kind of hate yet again. The production in Dizzy annoys me to no end, I fucking hate the bells and the synths in the chorus, why are they so fucking annoying.

[incesthemes]

final thoughts: supernatural season 13

weird how i have a headache once again. it's like a ritual now. finish a season gain a headache. anyway let's see. a much better season than both 11 and 12 i think. but goddamn that fucking apocalypse world. i can already tell most of this post is going to be me complaining about the apocalypse world. sorry in advance.

so i'm pleasantly surprised that i only hated a sparse few episodes, actually. most of the worse episodes were either mediocre or cringe, and honestly i can accept that. there was some decent stuff here, and i'll give credit where it's due.

i think the season was at its best when lucifer and the apocalypse world weren't in any way involved. unfortunately there were very few episodes entirely absent of both (sad!), but at least there were plenty of scenes that avoided both subjects. i'm clinging to those with gusto.

lucifer... well it's the same issues i've had with him since season 7. i don't like the total rewrite of his character, and i especially don't enjoy his flimsy, superficial motivations, if he ever has motivations to begin with. i'm extremely bored of villains who want evil for evil's sake, power for power's sake. it's tired, it's hackneyed, it's entirely uninteresting. kripke's lucifer was an interesting take on the devil, with his understated and quiet arrogance: you almost wanted to believe him and sympathize with his position. he was compelling and new. but once kripke left the scene, lucifer just feels... like mark pellegrino is trying to recreate crowley from good omens, basically.

the petulant, bratty attitude lacks synergy with his earlier portrayal, and he loses a true purpose in the show. he goes from trying to fulfill one half of a destiny that parallels the relationship between sam and dean to... i don't even know, honestly. first he's a whacky and silly hallucination, then he wants daddy to apologize to him (and throws a temper tantrum to get it), then he wants... to destroy the world? i guess? and then he wants to rule the world, or something, because why not. there's barely anything reminiscent of his original purpose in the show, and hardly anything left of his original personality and character. it's really disappointing to see him disintegrate from something truly compelling to a flat, one-dimensional cardboard cutout of Evil Cartoon Villain. he's just not interesting anymore, i guess unless you really like crowley good omens and have always wanted to see him in supernatural instead. no offense intended to crowley good omens, for the record. he's just lovely in his original series, playing the role he was created for.

anyway what the fuck happened with lucifer in heaven anyway? like i keep feeling i straight-up missed a scene, or an episode. anael walked away from lucifer and then....? and then lucifer is just gone, i guess? like seriously did miss something? what happened between bring 'em back alive and funeralia???? how did they get lucifer out of heaven???? is that EVER explained????

anyway (x2) i guess i'll complain about the apocalypse world again because i still hate it. if there are 10000 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there are 100 apocalypse world haters i'm one of them. if there's 1 apocalypse world hater that's me. if there's 0 apocalypse world haters i'm dead. and so on and so forth. i'm not above being petty.

i've mostly hashed out my thoughts on this world before so i won't bore anyone with the details, but i really really hate how they continued down this path in season 13. there are too many obvious narrative ploys to excuse the actions that sam, dean, and mary have taken. it's like a redemption arc for them without them ever having to do anything to "earn" that redemption. its entire existence screams "well without them doing these horrible things, everything would have been much worse! so actually it's okay!" and i can't stand that level of flippant, tone-deaf handwaving. it's like they can't bear the thought of their protagonists being anything less than morally good, and that gets under my skin and pisses me off like nothing else.

and i think this is particularly bad for mary. the thing season 12 did really well was making her a deeply flawed individual, someone who makes mistakes and is selfish and lost and just trying to make the best decisions with a shit hand and who suffers great losses because the game was rigged against her. she hurts her kids because of her choices, both in the past and in the present, and the show doesn't make an attempt to excuse her but rather encourages the audience to sympathize with her unique situation and understand that this is not and never was a black-and-white problem. there are no "good people" because everyone makes choices that harm others. this is an important theme rooted in the foundation of the show, and it's important to me.

which is why it infuriates me that the branching-off point in the apocalypse world is that mary didn't make the deal with azazel. because all that does is excuse the harm he inflicted on her kids. "the alternative was worse!" to such an extreme that the only thing the audience can do is justify mary's actions and absolve her of her sins. that's not fair to her, and it portrays her in exactly the opposite light that season 12 did, by forcing her into a pure and morally righteous role as the woman who made the Right Choice, who saved the world because of her small sacrifice. it's not fair! they took a complex female character and flattened her so badly into a Good Person simply by transforming her most destructive, selfish decision into the morally good one. it just feels like the writers couldn't handle the agony of writing a female character who wasn't either 100% good or 100% evil, and god it pisses me off. i'm seriously so disappointed in this direction, and the echoes of that direction soured the entirety of season 13 for me. because not only was mary rewritten into the morally upstanding mother, she was also reduced and limited in her narrative role. she took a major backseat this season, and what she was allowed to do was wholly motherly and nurturing. she took care of jack, she... took care of jack, she insisted that the rest of the resistance camp return to the real world with them, she... well damn, she took really good care of jack! none of the reckless, short-sighted characterization of season 12 remains, all her ruthlessness was drained, all of her power and competence ignored, and she was left to a disappointing support role as jack's moral compass, a nurturing mother to help jack develop. i'm SO angry about this, if you can't tell. SO angry about it.

i really, really, really am not someone to say that a character "deserved better" because for one that's a stupid and pointless argument to get into and i find most commentary in that vein to be both entitled and advocating for wildly OOC behavior in pursuit of content that destroys narrative integrity and eliminates drama, plot, and conflict. but mary... god i'm just so disappointed with how they used her this season. they did such great work with her last season. and this season they flattened her into Mother. and i'm so unhappy with it. If You Can't Tell.

let's see. more positive comments: i like how rowena is developing. she still falls firmly into the camp of side characters who are weirdly shallow for the roles they occupy because this show is chronically incapable of crafting good side characters, BUT now that she's getting some on-screen developments there's more meat on her bones, and i like what she's doing. that said, i really disagree with the complete about-face she made from season 12 to 13. seriously what's with the difference in characterizations between 12 and 13...? i'm so so confused here. i don't understand why rowena would ever be so broken up about crowley dying considering she tried to kill him so many times—maybe whoever decided that was the same person who decided mary had to be Mother and nothing else. mother characters have to be Mother and Mother trumps all other facets of their personality, maybe? whatever it is, i'm so annoyed by it and i hope to god this gets better in season 14. please lord i can't keep doing this. i need my women problematic, fucked up, and irredeemable. please.

jack, i'll talk about jack briefly because i'm getting sleepy and holy shit i want to go to bed lmao. i really love his character, i think he's appropriately nuanced and it's very refreshing. i suppose it's because he's a main character, and supernatural handles its main characters far better than the side characters (my issues with cas and his narrative development notwithstanding). he creates so much natural conflict, and i love how he plays off of sam and dean in really organic and interesting ways. i love how he helps to continue dean's arc from season 6 regarding his ability to be a father, and i love how both sam and dean project themselves so heavily onto him and respond to him in drastically different ways according to that perception. it's really complex and layered, which results in fantastic interactions and well-written drama that i greatly appreciate. even jack's interactions with lucifer, as much as i dislike lucifer's character, managed to be engaging and compelling. i love how much everyone is fumbling through all of this (this being parenthood) throughout the season, and how none of them really take to it naturally and those bonds have to form out of mistakes and forgiveness. it feels really satisfying and i'm so, so happy with how it's panned out.

i've seen posts floating around that dean wasn't jack's father, at least not to the extent sam and cas were, but i wholeheartedly disagree and i think dean plays a really vital role in this parenting dynamic, and he's willing to step up in ways both sam and cas hesitate to. for better and for worse, of course. and i just adore that jack so earnestly seeks dean's approval, and that makes dean giving that approval that much sweeter and cathartic. dean was able to give jack what he never got from john, in a big way. or at least dean didn't get it until john was literally on his death bed. it's a lot of character development for dean, and i loved seeing that. and i love that it continued through the season, and dean was able to heal himself through jack and find the father inside of him that can break the cycle of abuse that he inevitably perpetuated through ben. like seriously, incredible character arc. i'm obsessed with it.

i've barely talked about sam's parenting jack because i really don't have much to say. like he did so well, even when he messed up, in reaching out to jack and trying so hard to be the father he never had. he's open and honest about his intentions, his goals, his love, and his care. even though he's not great at communicating, he tries, and that eventually conveys in a way jack understands and appreciates. it's a totally new side to sam that i was anticipating because of tumblr, but that i wouldn't have expected going in blind. he's not exactly cut out for domesticity—really he sucks at it. so seeing him forge himself through dogged effort into a father was really rewarding, and i think his earnest devotion to that cause was what carried him to success there. he's strong-willed and he proved that here, and it's just really heart-warming to see him interact with jack and take care of him the best he knows how to, all the while actively striving to learn better. it's awesome.

i know dean is possessed by an archangel at the moment but i really am hoping for some nice domestic co-parenting wincest moments next season. i need it to live, i think <3

i think this is probably long enough, and also my headache is getting worse because it wants me to sleep 💔 so i'll end this here and start my season 13 detox :) i can't believe i only have 40 episodes left of this show. it feels so unreal, and it actually makes me want to skip the detox and keep going, but i know i'll regret that decision so i'll be diligent and read my wincest porn to cope with bad writing.

[davids-cartoon-corkboard]

The Kraang being siblings instead of just allies is probably significant; we’re supposed to compare them to the turtles throughout the movie. While the Kraang seem unified in the trailer, they’ll eventually fail because they can’t cooperate with each other. Conversely, the turtles aren’t getting along at first, but will pull together in time for the Final Showdown.

Leader Kraang (LK) is plain and simple hubris. He’s the first through the portal, he’s the one who gets the line about “making this universe in the image of Kraang”, he’s the one who’s mech has a royal look to it- the spikes on its head and shoulders are meant to evoke a crown and epaulettes.

He’s sitting on a goddamn throne in this shot; he was probably doing some Villainous Gloating before the turtles got their powers back.

While Leo is a hubristic little bastard child (affectionate), I don’t think he got into this 1v1 fight against LK by going “hey, do y’all wanna watch me 1v1 Squid Satan? Of course you do, here I go!”. It’s more likely that he made a bad decision earlier in the movie, the consequences of which eventually caused him to wind up in this situation. Perhaps he wasn’t taking the mission to stop Hypno and Warren seriously, which meant he got caught off guard when the Foot Clan swooped in to grab the Key.

In other words, Leo let his hubris get the better of him, which caused LK, the villain whose whole deal is hubris, to get the better of him. But while Leo will overcome this flaw and work with his team to win, LK will double down and act tyrannically, alienating (haha) his team and causing them to fall apart.

Also they’ve both got the red eye thing going on, in case the other parallels weren’t obvious enough. XD

---

Sister Kraang (SK) doesn’t have a line in the trailer, but her intro speaks for her. She slams into frame, with none of the composure that her brothers show.

Her mech is more bulky than the other two, it’s clearly built to Fuck Shit Up. April’s having to fight her with a wrecking ball!

As the team’s heavy hitter, perhaps she’ll have similarities to Raph? If so, it’s very likely she and LK will butt heads. LK wants to make everything in the image of Kraang, which he can’t do if SK destroys those things. There are probably a few things he deems too inconvenient to assimilate, which he’s fine with SK destroying. But is that enough to satisfy SK?

“Sister, for Our sake, stop slaughtering the hominids en masse! If you leave us with a shortage of drones, it’ll take ages to subdue this continent, much less the planet!“

“Well I’m sorry to hear you’ve got your tentacles in a twist over that, boss-man. But have you considered that they taste too good fried in Kuvoxian oil for me to give a shit?”

---

Brother Kraang (BK) is the most traditionally Kraang-y/Utrom-y of his siblings and the source of the Corrupting Goop. He’s probably the one who says “you’re more powerful than the people of this planet, yet you’re not human. What are you?”- it’s a new voice that’s noticeably different than LK’s, and since it’s a calm and masculine voice it probably doesn’t belong to their manic sister. It’s said in a curious tone, not an angry one.

His mech is the smallest of the three and has no claws, so it doesn’t seem built for combat.

He’s way in the back of this shot, where it looks like he’s put a bunch of Freaky Magic Science Bullshit between himself and the heroes, again suggesting he’s not much of a fighter.

Somebody has to be making this group’s batshit biotech, and all of the above suggests he’s the most likely candidate. As a scientist, he may not be on board with either LK or SK. If everything is in the image of Kraang, then everything is the same, and that’s boring! There’s nothing new for him to investigate! The same applies if SK destroys everything.

That probably explains why he’s always looking cranky in the trailer; as the (presumably) youngest sibling, what he wants is getting ignored in favor of what the other two want.

With that in mind, he might actually survive the movie! Since he’s not really benefiting from this whole invasion thing, he’s the most likely of the three to be like “actually? Fuck this, I’m leaving” once things start going south for the Kraang. If he takes what resources he can and finds somewhere to hide, he can avoid getting his ass kicked by the heroes and research this planet to his hearts’ content.

(And then use a bodysuit to disguise himself as a human named John Bishop and cause problems for the heroes later, should we be so fortunate as to get a Season 3.)

---

(I have my suspicions about SK’s role in the movie, and if I’m right- well, it’d make sense why they didn’t show/suggest it in the trailer, as it’d be one hell of a spoiler! But that’s an idea for another post...)

[asmo-cosmetics]

i didn’t mean to send that yet and i was trying to say that virgin levi is a big thing in the fandom but i can’t imagine it as a reality.

like you can’t tell me he doesn’t have sex with mammon when they’re both bored or angry, that the twins haven’t tag teamed him in their room while he was begging for them, that asmo hasn’t ridden him until he was near knocked out.

virgin levi doesn’t work for me bc the other members of the house of lamentation are right there

asks that were designed in a lab specifically for me. there are layers to this anon take my hand

in one master, none of the brothers are virgins, but in the nightbringer timeline, there's an argument to be made that they all are, because

all angels are virgins. this is a headcanon of mine and reasonable people can disagree but let me explain to you why it's so fun

SHAME. GUILT. it's canon that angels in the om! universe can be tempted by and even driven to disobedience and sin. they are naturally pious, not naturally pure – but they seem to believe they're supposed to be naturally pure, e.g. asmo asking mc if they thought the brothers were supposed to be demons all along.

it's a whole cruel mess, basically. god is the main villain of the obey me universe and i'll die on that hill.

but the result is an entire race of beings that experience sexual maturity, but due to the way their society is structured, each individual believes it to be a unique experience happening to themself exclusively, and happening to them because they are morally weak.

they're not ignorant of the concept of sexuality, because they're the guardians of humans, and humans experience sexuality. but angels shouldn't. angels, as far as any angel knows, don't.

the purest/most naïve/most loyal angels (think raphael) might not even recognize it for what it is within themselves either out of denial. like. "my brothers and sisters are so beautiful and wonderful and have such stunning features and graceful bodies. i love them very much and i love serving our father together with them. i am having a completely pure and normal reaction to them interacting with me." etc.

THIS ALSO FITS WITH THE GAME LORE. THINK ABOUT IT. LILITH IS THE FIRST ANGEL THAT EVER HAD SEX, WHICH MEANT SHE HAD TO DIE, BECAUSE IF AN ANGEL AND A HUMAN WERE TO PROCREATE IT MIGHT RESULT IN A BEING THAT DISRUPTS THE POWER BALANCE BETWEEN THE THREE REALMS. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS GODDAMN MC. GOD KILLED HER AS AN EXAMPLE TO THE ANGELS NOT TO DIRECTLY INTERFERE WITH HUMANS BECAUSE HUMANS ARE HOW THEY KNOW ABOUT SEXUALITY AS A CONCEPT okay i'm done shouting but do you understand??

(thank you diavolo for saving our grandma. you also kind of fucked up the whole universe by doing that but it's okay i get it i'm down bad for lucifer too)

anyway back to the incest stuff

the brothers were not the type of angels mentioned above. like it's been noted in the game, they were never just siblings the way all angels are siblings. they were always close. always a family. so they all experienced the solipsistic torture of loving each other and wanting each other and being sure that these feelings exist in them because they are bad and dirty and wrong

and then they were demons, and they were... free

it would've taken them a while to deconstruct everything, though

in my head, the aftermath of the war is when they became super codependent trauma-bonded weirdos. satan too, though it takes him a little longer to admit it. they start needing a lot more physical touch with each other for reassurance (cries in all sleeping in one room is canon now) and are more affectionate than before with hugs/kisses, and then asmo's sin kicks in and, well, they feed beel. they let belphie sleep. they deal with satan's meltdowns, mammon's sticky fingers, lucifer's superiority complex. they help each other. that's what brothers do.

so there's my giant lore essay. now to what's actually in your ask

you are correct

and i don't get it either (i do get it it's because obey me fans are idiots who go "ewwww incest" despite all the canon incest)

but seriously i do get why the boys as virgins is fun and i guess i could see it in the context of the brothers all being super repressed and not wanting to admit their feelings for each other? but then again. asmo.

and i get the virgin levi thing because for one thing it's cute. and for another thing he canonically has a humiliation fetish

but like that still works with demoncest levi. in fact that works better with demoncest levi. he's never had sex with anyone except his brothers. that makes him even more of a creepy shut-in freak loser.

the other brothers (especially asmo and satan) would literally teach you how to degrade him best!! hello

it's so obvious to me like bye.

also all of your suggestions are so incredibly correct. levi begging for the twins' cocks in specific has... done something to me

i will raise you, however: them DPing him. i think he could take it. and it seems like something the twins would want to do.

as i've said before levi and mammon switch bc they're both subs but mammon is the only brother i think levi's a bossy bottom with. with lucifer and satan it's "please, sir" and with asmo it's "i need you, princess" and with beel and belphie it's "as rough as you want, you won't hurt me," but with mammon it's "i swear to our fucking father if you don't put your cock in me right now i'm gonna kill you" and "harder. now." and "jesus, belphie fucks me better in his sleep, if you're gonna be this lazy turn over so i can ride you"

while i do not personally subscribe to the levi has two cocks theory i do headcanon that he is like. incredibly hung.

levi asmo belphie biggest dicks in the family. no i do not take criticism

anyway asmo's a size queen and also loves throwing shade. perfect combo

but also levi feels safest telling asmo about kinks he saw in hentai wants to try out but is embarrassed of. the first time asmo choked him out it made him come so hard asmo made the executive decision to quietly inform everyone else, who all showered him in praise after they got the same results~

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

Blindfolded for the whump bingo card!

- @another-whump-sideblog

Spirals and Solitaire

Synopsis: After her capture by the heroes, Wrenna's blindfolded locked in a cell 24/7. It's lonely, so lonely, but her only friend is determined to help her, no matter what side she's on.

Content: Villain whump, hero caretaker, supervillain whumper (mentioned), solitary confinement, captivity whump, emotional/psychological whump, so much angst, also like a very, very heavy depiction of depression self loathing and suicidal ideation, happy ending though

Tagging: @whump-queen @whump-in-the-closet @soheavyaburden @turn-the-tables-on-them (thought you guys might like to read it :O)

---

Day One

Wrenna lowered her head as if she were trying to avert her eyes from her nemesis. “I hate you, you know that?"

Eris could only laugh. “Do you really?” Wrenna's voice was emotionless, and from what she could see of Wrenna's face, her expression was the same. Eris could tell that there was no true malice behind her words. “Or are you only saying that because you’re supposed to?”

Wrenna tensed, cuffed hands folding into fists. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

“It’s just food for thought,” Eris replied with a gentle smile. She leaned closer, resting her arms on the table. “I don’t have anything to do today, so why don’t we chat for a bit?”

“I’m not talking,” Wrenna stated, monotone. “You can’t tie me up and strap this on my face—“ She gestured towards the blindfold she was wearing—“and expect me to agree to a friendly little chat.”

Eris shot her a sympathetic look, forgetting that Wrenna couldn't see it. “Hey, I’m sorry about that, but it’s standard safety procedures. You’re going to ah—have to prove that you aren’t dangerous, but once you do that, they’ll take the blindfold off!”

Wrenna flinched back. “Is that what you want from me…?”

“I don’t—I don’t want anything from you, in particular.” Eris spoke in a measured tone, words carefully chosen.

Wrenna frowned and said nothing.

Eris reached out an arm and gingerly intertwined her fingers with Wrenna's. Wrenna flinched at first, and Eris almost drew back, but Wrenna grasped her hand tightly at the last second. Eris smiled, small but genuine.

“Let’s forget about the whole heroes and villains thing for a moment, okay? You’re just a person. And I can see that you’ve been hurt… so I just want to help you. And maybe we can be friends?” Eris’s voice was hopeful.

Wrenna tilted her head. She hesitated before replying in a low whisper. “I guess I’ll humor you for a little bit.”

Day Eleven

Soft ticking reverberated around the cell. For some goddamn reason, there was a clock in here somewhere. Not that it mattered. She couldn't see it anyways.

God, what she'd give to see a clock.

She wished for a lot of things, but right now, she wished for this the most. Honestly, she just wanted to know how much time had passed. Life was always lonely and terrifying, but now it was boring too.

At the very least, she'd like to be able to count the hours she'd spent in this cell.

She was lying on the floor, and she wondered what the ceiling looked like. Her vision was entirely obscured by jet-black cloth. Getting around was awkward now, but it wasn't like she was going anywhere. The cell was maybe a few paces wide, from what she could tell.

But the worst part—the part that made Wrenna want to hide under the bed or scream and rip through everything and everyone—was that the blindfold stopped her from using her telekinesis. It was fucking stupid—just a piece of fabric that she couldn't get off, and it had all been taken away from her.

She had never been this powerless before.

If she didn't have anything before, she truly had nothing now.

Her mind raced and her heart drummed loudly in her chest. She tensed, turning as still as a statue. Why? Why must this happen?

Actually, there was no point in asking. She knew why. Because she was a villain. Because she was dangerous.

Did they know that if she could, she would go back in time and erase all her mistakes? Choose to never hurt those people, to never commit those crimes, to never do the shit that landed her here.

But she was a coward who let herself be fully under Móirín's thumb.

Maybe she deserved this. Maybe she deserved to be here.

No, it wasn't a maybe, it was a yes.

Day Twenty-Six

Eris had begun to make a habit of visiting Wrenna. It was something she was quite grateful for. Eris was…somewhere, rambling about a book she had recently read, and Wrenna was sitting on the bed, her worries causing her to half-tune Eris out.

"And like, at the end, the trio hops onto the dragon, and they have to fly through a bunch of storm clouds to get to the Dark Lord's castle, and—hey, Wrenna?"

The abrupt stop made Wrenna jerk her head up. "Um, yeah?"

"Are you doing okay?

After some hesitation, Wrenna answered, "I…yeah, sure, I guess." God, she didn't even sound convincing to herself.

She heard Eris's footsteps walking closer to her. It unnerved her slightly, not knowing exactly where Eris was. A hand touched her shoulder, causing her to jump in surprise.

"Oh—sorry about that, my bad!" Eris exclaimed. "I just—I just wanted to let you know, I'm here for you, if you ever want to talk about anything."

Wrenna sighed and slumped over, running the words she wanted to say over and over again in her mind. The phrase was simple, but the delivery could be everything.

Finally, she simply stated, "I want to get out of here."

Eris didn't respond immediately. "You remember the offer, don't you?" she commented.

"Yes, and I've told you before, I'm not joining the heroes."

"Wrenna, it'd be for the best, you'd be safe, and you'd prove to everyone you've changed—"

"I have changed," Wrenna interrupted. "I'm not going to fight for anyone but myself, no matter how much they try to make me." She'd made that mistake with Móirín already. She wouldn't make it again.

Eris sighed. "Alright. But maybe think about it a little more."

The room went quiet, and the silence was deafening.

It was Wrenna who broke it. "I…I haven't read a lot of books, but the one you were talking about sounds great…can I hear more about it?"

"Sure!" Eris chirped, and Wrenna imagined that she was smiling.

Day Forty-One

To keep herself from going any more insane than she already was, Wrenna had invented a few little games for herself.

There was the "Guess That Noise!" game, which was always a little treat. Sometimes there'd be a humming sound, or a crash, or the sound of something zipping by. Usually, the sources seemed to be mundane. The whir of a vent. Someone dropping something heavy upstairs. An annoying, evil mosquito. Sometimes she could make out the faint sounds of cars in the distance.

Lately, she'd added another part to this game, where she made up a story behind the sound that was much more fun. An electric field about to zap something. A piano falling from a window. A wedding cake toppling over. A murder—no, not a murder. Not that. She didn't want to think about that.

It was usually an interesting game, but she couldn't do it all the time. Wrenna had other things to occupy herself, though.

She also had the drawing game, which mostly consisted of lying on her stomach on the floor and making scratches on the cold linoleum floor. She couldn't exactly see what she was drawing, but she could imagine it might look like something a feral animal would make. Or maybe it wasn't visible at all.

Wrenna had no way to tell if she was scratching hard enough, but one day, she noticed warm liquid running down her fingertips. When she ventured to sample it, it tasted like a drop of copper on her tongue. So she knew that she'd probably made some type of mark, even if it was just bloodstains.

And there was one final game as well. Wrenna didn't particularly like playing this one, but she couldn't stop herself from doing it. It didn't have a name. It simply consisted of trying to get the restraints off.

The handcuffs had a generous chain and left her hands in the front, but they were still weighty, awkward, and uncomfortable. They had a rough texture that was a little soft when poked—Wrenna guessed it was leather padding, and as far she could tell with her hands, there wasn't a lock she could pick or break.

And she constantly found herself fiddling with the blindfold, but the damn thing had so many straps and even a fucking lock. Wrenna couldn't get it off, and yet she was still constantly trying. Where the hell did the heroes even get something like this?

Even with all these little activities, there was too much time in the day—or night? She couldn't tell anymore—to think. To ponder over all her mistakes and failures. Why did you do this? Why have you ended up here? Why, why couldn't you have just never been born?

More often than not, the blindfold was damp with tears.

Day Fifty-Two

Eris was back again. Back for another little conversation about the smallest things, heart-to-hearts that meant so much to Wrenna. Eris was standing by the door, and the two had been conversing for what felt like hours.

"Really? You never had any stuffed animals as a kid?" Eris asked her, incredulous.

Wrenna shook her head in response. In the back of her mind, she wondered how many times Eris made these kinds of gestures that she was just unable to see.

"We've got to fix that! I'm getting you a plushie. What's your favorite animal?" Eris's voice was suddenly much more animated and excited.

Wrenna felt her cheeks become hot, and she cracked a nervous smile. "Aww, you don't have to do that for me."

"But I will," Eris promised. "It's really nothing, and plushies are so important."

"Um…I like canaries a lot," Wrenna said in a soft voice.

"A canary plush it is then!" Eris confirmed.

She paced for a bit before sitting down on the floor, next to the cot that Wrenna was sitting on.

"I still can't believe you didn't have any plushies as a kid," Eris commented, voice a little sad.

Wrenna frowned. "If I had any stuffed animals, Móirín would have probably taken them away eventually," she mused.

"God, that's fucked," Eris murmured, giving Wrenna's hand a soft squeeze.

Wrenna shrugged. "It's fine. Not the worst thing she did by a long shot."

Eris was silent for a while, and Wrenna wondered what she was doing.

"Do you need to talk about it…?" Eris finally offered.

Wrenna opened her lips, and mouthed a few syllables, trying to figure out the right answer, how to phrase things. "I…"

She honestly did want to talk about it. But the prospect of telling someone was frankly terrifying. Her entire life with Móirín was an exercise in learning how to be quiet, how it was better to scream and sob than spill any information at all.

"It's…I don't know. It was a lot." Wrenna said carefully, tone kept measured and even. "I never wanted to be a villain, you know… But Móirín wanted it. And well, she won." Móirín had always made it known to Wrenna that she owed her. So Wrenna followed her orders, and paid the price when she didn't.

She shrugged. She didn't know what else to do.

She felt a supportive pat on her shoulder. From Eris, probably.

"Wow, that should have never happened to you…" Eris remarked. "But hey. You can be whatever you want to be. You're safe now. I promise that to you."

Her voice was so kind, so sweet and gentle, that at least for the moment, Wrenna truly believed she could trust Eris.

Day Sixty-Seven

Eris was the only thing Wrenna looked forward to, now. She was the only person Wrenna ever talked to—maybe no one else cared to talk to her, maybe she was just appointed—whatever, Wrenna didn't care. She just wanted to hear someone's voice.

And maybe, one day, see Eris's face.

But Wrenna had gotten used to the darkness, and she was starting to doubt if she'd ever see anything again.

As she stroked the little canary plush in her hands, Wrenna racked her mind, trying to think of something to say to her only friend. But her list of conversation topics was starting to dry up. She'd already told Eris everything. About the things she once saw and liked to do, about the secret hobbies she hid from Móirín, and Móirín's plans, their location and secret hideouts, and about the people who worked with them, too. She'd even told Eris about some of her regrets.

Nothing was off the table. And she didn't care if she was spilling valuable information anymore. She'd be happy if everything blew up in Móirín's face.

"Wrenna…?"

She turned her head in the direction of Eris's voice. Oh god. She was going to leave. Wrenna had nothing to say, and now Eris was just going to go. She was too boring. Everything was boring. Wrenna had nothing to do and that was so boring which had made her boring and Eris was going to lose interest, maybe she wouldn't come back—

Eris's voice interrupted her spiraling thoughts. "Um. You look pretty deep in thought. What'cha thinking about?"

Wrenna turned her head away. "I…" She could tell Eris. Eris treated her kindly. Eris always had soft, gentle words to say. She felt almost trustworthy, even.

Tears started streaming down Wrenna's face. Fuck. Fuck. Not now.

"I-I just…" Wrenna's voice cracked, and she buried her face in her hands. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Hey, hey," Eris soothed. Wrenna heard the bed creak and felt Eris's arms wrap around her, and she felt just a little more safe and secure. "It's okay, let it out…wanna talk about it, more?"

"I think—I think I'm losing my mind—oh god, how long have I even been in here?" Wrenna croaked.

"It's been, um, it's been a while," Eris murmured.

Wrenna leaned on Eris's shoulder, melting into the hug. "Please—I have to get out. Can you get me—can you get me out of here?" she whispered to Eris, every few words punctuated with a sob of utter longing.

"I…I'm sorry, but I can't. Not unless you, you join us," Eris mumbled in reply, sounding disappointed in herself.

"Oh," Wrenna sighed, defeated.

I think I'd rather die.

Day Eighty

Even though she couldn't see, Wrenna now knew the cell like the back of her hand.

Her reference was the wall where the ticking noise came from, the one that the clock was mounted on. On the opposite end of the ticking was the wall with the door. Across from the door, to the right of the ticking, was her cot, layered with extra blankets and messy sheets. To the left of the ticking was the door to the bathroom.

She had probably felt the walls hundreds of times by now, circling the cell and running her hands along the smooth paint, like what she was doing now. As far as she could tell, there weren't any bugs, though she didn't doubt that there was a camera somewhere out of her reach.

Lately, she had invented a new game. It was a bit morbid, and sometimes she wondered if she really should be playing it, but she had nothing else better to do.

It was a straightforward game—she'd find an object, feel it, and let her mind wander, thinking about ways she could use it to kill herself. Sometimes her ideas could be horribly creative, but none of them were particularly easy or painless.

Still, maybe she'd actually do it one day. Any other ending was starting to seem like a dream and an impossibility. There was nothing but her and the darkness and her stupid fucking brain and the cell that she couldn't see.

Wrenna leaned against the wall, then sunk to the floor, and sighed. There still wasn't anything to do. The cell was practically barren and empty. It was probably that way for a reason. Maybe it was empty to give the inmates fewer opportunities to kill themselves. Or maybe it was because they didn't deserve any better.

If she died here, she would die a prisoner. Which was depressing, considering that she had been one all her life. But it felt like such a minuscule concern compared to the prospect of finally ending this horrible existence.

She wanted freedom, but she'd settle for death.

Day Ninety-Five

Wrenna was lying on the cot, tangled in her sheets. She hadn't left the bed in days, and she didn't want to, either. Her mind was filled with static that pinned her down to the cot and sapped her motivation to do anything at all.

There was a knock on the door. Probably Eris. "Yeah. Come in." Her voice was tinged with a permanent sadness now, hopelessness bleeding through her words.

She heard the turn of the lock and the heavy cell door swinging open.

"Hey, Ren," Eris greeted, in that sweet voice that sounded like calm ocean waves.

"Hey…stay here for a while, please?" Wrenna had nothing to talk about. And yet she still wanted to be with Eris, anyways. Not that she deserved her, or any sort of friend. But if this was how Eris chose to spend her time, Wrenna wasn't about to argue.

"Of course." Eris sat down on the edge of the bed, and Wrenna shifted to give her more space. Eris clasped Wrenna's hand, and Wrenna enjoyed the warmth.

Eris started talking about a recent mission, and Wrenna truly did want to listen to every word, but it was all too easy to get sucked into her thoughts, her guilt, and her death wish.

Wrenna honestly didn't really remember what she felt guilty about anymore. She knew that she hurt people. And she recalled the moments, the twisting of a knife, the shrieks, and the sirens. But the past was starting to fade away and fall into the darkness. Now there was only the cell, the wretched, suffocating little box, in the waking hours, and Móirín's house in her nightmares.

She was nothing. This life was nothing. Every hour was just prolonging the agony. Even when Eris was there.

There was something she needed to ask Eris.

"Eris?" she softly called out.

Eris quickly responded. "Yeah?"

Wrenna took a deep breath and squeezed the plush canary underneath the blankets to prepare herself for asking. "Eris, I-I…" Her voice trembled, and she felt tears soaking into her blindfold.

"I need you to kill me," she finally imparted.

Eris was silent for a long time. "…What?" she whispered, with quiet horror.

"Please," Wrenna begged, "please, that's all I want… I feel like I'm dying in here. I can't take this anymore. Can you—can you kill me? I can't kill—I can't kill myself, so—so I'm asking you, to, to do it."

"No, Ren, god no, I can't do that. I'm not going to kill you. Oh, god. My god," Eris panicked. Wrenna heard Eris's heartbeat starting to race, matching her own.

Eris squeezed Wrenna's hand tightly. "I can't. I would never hurt you." Eris was crying now. Wrenna could hear it.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for asking," Wrenna apologized, voice quiet. She tried to hide the disappointment and strange relief that welled up inside her.

"No, no, it's—" Eris took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay. I think I have to—no, I will."

"Ren, I'm going to get you out of here," she declared.

"If I join the heroes, right, I've heard it all before," Wrenna supposed with a sigh.

"No. I'm going to get you out of here regardless," Eris promised, grave determination in her voice.

Wrenna couldn't believe it. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really. God, I'm so sorry—I should have done something earlier." Eris's voice cracked with regret.

It was Wrenna's turn to clutch Eris's hand. "It's—it's okay. When do we—when do we leave?" she ventured, a spark of hope igniting in her heart.

"How about right now?" Eris offered.

Wrenna's cracked lips curled into a smile, her first in a long time. "That sounds great to me."

—

AN: I had this written a while ago but I didn't find the time to edit it until recently

Hope you guys enjoy this, it's one of my longer pieces so <2

[riddlemefuckingthis]

Okay, okay, okay, I wanna contribute to this thing about Witchshadow.

I REALLLLLLY liked this book. I liked just as much as much as Bloodwitch actually. Anyway, besides the point.

I keep on seeing people saying that they didn’t like Witchshadow as much as the other Witchlands books but I just… don’t get it. This book was fucking amazing imo. Iseult’s whole thing where she didn’t know what to do anymore because she was just so fucking done with holding back her weaverwitchery made sense to me. I get so tired of seeing people in fantasy books hold back their big bad power and when they do finally let it loose and wreak havoc over everyone, suddenly their the villain and that’s just sounds like the author got tired to write their character. BUT with Susan Dennard… it’s a whole different story. She actually wrote Iseult and decided fuck it, let’s make this woman go through shit. Manipulate her, destroy this fucking woman, make her suffer and in the end, she’s still a good person. AND THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD TO SEE. Now, I do get it with Aeduan. I do get why people didn’t like the whole thing he went through with the Paladin possessing him and that whole shit but I’m just a sucker for this trope that Susan did. It’s so interesting and it may just be me.

Vaness and Vivia’s POV felt somewhat kinda boring… Vivia isn’t that fun to read about. I’ve felt the same about her since I first read these books when I was thirteen. Vivia is just meh. I really want to see Vaness’s POV tho. That woman is so cool.

Safi’s situation is another one of my favorite tropes. I’ve noticed this trope is sometimes there in epic fantasy series. During the second to the last or last book in the series, the main character or side main character always ends up being held captive. I like this trope. Makes the characters go through shit and it’s just nice to see. I also like that we got nuance with Hendrick’s character yet he’s still a pathetic little worm.

Stix and Ryber were one of my favorite POV’s besides Iseult and Safi. I want the best for Stix and she goddamn better get it.

Anyway, people say this book was mostly just a Hellbard book more than an Iseult book but I strongly disagree. We may have gotten more world building on the Hellbards but it’s still Iseult’s book. Most of the character building is on Iseult and most of the book surrounds Iseult. At the end of the book, everything is about Iseult.

This whole book was supposed to be two books and I fucking hate Tor Teen for making Susan Dennard have to put it into one book while also being pregnant and going through postpartum depression. Susan is so cool through and this book was so cool and I just love this series.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for Witchshadow

[overobsessedfanboy23]

5Ds is an enigma that has utterly fried my brain

Okay, okay, get this. 5Ds is not only the only YGO that I believe is better in dub (I’ve warmed up to the dubs recently but I still think the subs are better), it’s also the only Yugioh series that has a better first half than second half. Yes, that includes Arc V. I thought Arc V was pretty consistently enjoyable. I always see people say Arc V had a great first half but the second half/ending completely dropped the ball and ruined everything. Guess what? To me, that statement applies to 5Ds.

Disclaimer: I haven’t seen the slew of undubbed episodes in the middle of the WRGP or the final arc, Arc Cradle, because they’re sub exclusive and the 5Ds sub is a terribly boring thing that I have no interest in returning to if it’s not Jack/Carly or Aki related. Still, I’m gonna do an “overview” of... basically the 5Ds dub.

(Rest of the overview under the cut)

Okay, so first of all, I take back… some of what I said in my initial overview of part one. Not everything. My critique of the Aki’s parents plotline and everything that happened in Akiza vs Misty still stands. Also, I don’t know if I mentioned these things in my overview or not but I’ll say them here: the Devack duel and spirit world nonsense are really boring and honestly, anytime Yugioh does a prison plotline it’s boring as shit, I don’t know what it is but both the prison arcs in 5Ds and Arc V really bore me. I have nearly all the same narrative problems with that first half that I did back then. HOWEVER. What I do take back is everything I said about the story and characters not grabbing me.

Even in the sub I found the Fortune Cup to be entertaining. Leo and Luna are entertaining if somewhat annoying kids and Aki was a fascinating badass. And Dark Signers. Holy shit this arc is where 5Ds absolutely soars. This story is a fucking epic. I didn’t realise it in the sub because despite liking some of the characters and knowing there was good stuff in front of me, I couldn’t connect with the characters. I found most of them to be boring mouthpieces to a generic overly serious story. It just felt like we were going through the YGO motions without any of the personality. The dub doesn’t have this problem at all. 4Kids’ habit of making the characters and dialogue sillier actually did wonders for 5Ds. The dub is just… fun. Because it adds moments of levity that weren’t there in the sub. They allow us to see the characters just… being people which makes it so much easier to connect with them. They talk like real people, Leo and Luna argue and pick on each other like real siblings, the goddamn villains have moments where they feel like people, even if only for a few moments. Also, I genuinely really love many of the voices. Crow and Yusei have really fitting raspy voices, I love the way Carly’s voice sounds very awkward normally but becomes full of confidence when she’s a Dark Signer. 

Kalin’s actor is having the time of his life and it makes me have so much fun watching him, oh my god I’ll get to how much I love this man.

And many of the other characters have voices that I just enjoy listening to and add so much more personality to previously dry characters. Lazar is hilarious in the dub, Sayer’s voice has no right being that cool but my god he completely nails the soft calming voice, I can completely see how he was able to manipulate people and oddly enough? The thing that got me invested in the Dark Signers arc when I watched the dub (because I originally only intended to have this on in the background while I was working) wasn’t any of the duels. It was the scene where Goodwin was explaining the backstory of the Crimson Dragon and how it defeated the Earthbound Immortals:

I remember getting randomly sucked into it and to this day I’m not sure why. I think on a basic level I just liked the dub actor’s voice but also the way it’s explained in the dub just… really grabbed me. I had seen the arc in sub but I truly experienced it in dub. And what an experience it was.

Looking back on it, I honestly can’t believe I ever dissed the Yusei vs Kalin stuff because honestly? It’s just as good and emotionally investing as the Jack/Carly plot. Kalin is insanely entertaining in the dub. His over the top cackling and silly lines delivered in this delightfully gleeful crazy voice got me attached to him pretty much the moment I saw him. I absolutely love crazy sadistic villains when they’re done right and they really knocked it out of the park with this guy. He is hilarious and a good threat and my god the backstory with him and Yusei and the Enforcers is fantastic. I did not give enough credit to them for tackling the idea of extremism and showing how extremist views/actions can result from what was originally a good cause. Also, I just genuinely see where Kalin is coming from at times. Why the FUCK would you run when you’re public enemy number 1 on an island you can’t leave that’s controlled by the very people you’re running from?! No shit that didn’t work! Also, while it was completely in Yusei’s right to, he did still abandon Kalin so I totally get how Kalin believed that Yusei turned him in. Yusei betrayed his own core value of never leaving a friend which makes the moment where he does reach out to save Kalin during their duel all the more powerful. It’s honestly just as fantastic a duel/narrative as Jack/Carly (which I’ve praised excessively in the past so I won’t repeat myself here) and I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner.

Crow vs Greiger is also fantastic, I love that both of their motivations are wanting to get revenge on behalf of their families and how this duel helped both of them overcome that desire that had consumed them- and oh my god, Dark Signers has issues for sure but the good stuff is downright fantastic.

So this first part of 5Ds is pretty good overall. It has some damming issues that hold it back from being truly amazing but the parts I loved I really really loved.

And now for part 2…

Not gonna lie, I was actually really enjoying part 2 for a good chunk of it. Yes, I hate the Carly thing. Her involvement was cut back and her and Jack’s confessions were undone not because of any real life drama like a certain rumour may have you believe but because of bad writing. Because why have two people in a healthy loving relationship when Jack can instead be oblivious to having a harem of mindless women instead?

Uuuuuuugh.

Okay, but that aside, I really enjoyed the parts leading up to the WRGP. Yes it’s much lighter and there’s a lot of filler but like the early portions of GX, the characters here are likeable enough to make the filler episodes fun and charming. I love Yusei, Jack, and Crow quipping with each other like brothers, I love the kids turbo duelling on rollerskates, I love Yusei instantly becoming attached to Bruno, I love the fact that Lazar gets distracted from important heists by the wonders of noodles. And AKIZA MY BELOVED.

I made a whole post about how much I adore the episode where she learns to turbo duel. I love how we see every step of her growth into a turbo duelist and that they allow her to make mistakes during that journey. And her friends are so supportive of her the whole way and it’s incredibly wholesome…

If only they’d done literally anything substantial with her learning to turbo duel in the next arc.

Okay, sorry, I gotta talk about negatives now. Because while I really enjoyed the stuff leading up to the WRGP, the nosedive this thing took the moment the tournament began is so sharp it astounds me. Because my one big problem with that pre-WRGP arc is Accel Synchro. Because quite frankly it makes no sense. The villains have an ability to steal Synchro monsters so you’d think the solution would be to use something other than to Synchro summon. But no. They decided the best solution to this cool roadblock would just be to synchro summon synchro monsters together, which is just a harder synchro summon that could still get your monsters stolen if you don’t do it all in one turn. But I handwaved this at first. Because I figured they just didn’t want another summoning mechanic to overshadow the one this show was made for-

OH GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

Nope, that god awful boring put me to sleep Team Unicorn arc that was an insult to Aki’s character and women in YGO in general had the AUDACITY to have Yusei easily and with no explanation summon a fusion monster, something that wouldn’t be targeted by the Synchro stealing effect of the main villains and proceeds to NEVER USE IT AGAIN. When he’s in a situation where he needs to counter the synchro stealing, I was SCREAMING at the screen for him to use the Fusion monster he easily summoned quite literally a few episodes ago but he proceeds to do the much harder Accel synchro bullshit that even fails him once because of how stupid it is and all my investment in this plotline died. Just like that.

This plothole, and Aki’s honestly insulting treatment, completely took me out of the story and honestly, it made me feel like I was watching those subbed episodes again. I was just… so bored and uninterested. The characters still have their moments in the following episodes but it wasn’t enough to grab me or make me feel anything toward the WRGP arc apart from feeling like I was wasting my time. To be completely fair though… The final duel isn't bad.

I enjoy the concept of Aporia and I admire the attempt 4Kids made to make this feel final since, for reasons I don’t fully understand, they weren’t able to dub the final arc. I do feel like I got an ending, unlike the GX dub ending which didn’t even try to be conclusive. There are still loose ends to the dub but that’s just kind of inevitable. I don’t feel any desire to sacrifice anymore of my life points to this show when I don’t feel like it will yield anything positive for me. 5Ds for me ended with Carly taking pictures of everyone in celebration after the floating temple in the sky disappeared.

Or better yet, it ended right here:

Yeah, I’ll admit, I just wanted to end this overview on a positive note by talking about pretty much the only part of 5Ds I’d recommend people watch after Dark Signers last. Okay, besides the Akiza motorcycle episode. But anyways, Crash Town. I love this arc. Yes, it’s out of nowhere as fuck and the wild west theme is jarring at first. But you know what? I don’t give a fuck because this arc gave us MORE KALIN. I love Kalin’s arc in these episodes. The dub barely pulls any punches here. Apparently he’s explicitly suicidal in the sub but honestly, dub!Kalin is so self deprecating and obsessed with punishing himself for everything he did that I was already getting a suicidal vibe from him so this change doesn’t bother me at all. It’s clear he feels like he has nothing to live for and just wants to be punished for how he hurt Yusei and it’s heart-wrenching. But he finds new purpose in life through essentially being like an adopted older brother to those kids and that’s wholesome.

Like I said, this is how 5Ds ended for me. Akiza learned to turbo duel, Yusei finally got closure with Kalin, who has begun to heal and become a better person, and the characters I love have found happiness in their new home in Domino City.

Overall, I’m torn. 5Ds has some of the highest highs of any Yugioh yet simultaneously the lowest lows of any Yugioh. I do think I enjoyed more episodes than I didn’t but despite initially enjoying the first part of season 2, they’re not quite good enough for me to want to go back and rewatch them. Again, aside from Crashtown and Akiza turbo duelling. So… I don’t think I can give a definitive statement on 5Ds as a whole. I really loved some parts and really hated other parts. The first half I can say is overall good, heck Dark Signers I’d go as far as to call great but the second half… fuck everything in it besides the funny moments, Akiza turbo duelling, and Crashtown.

[weirdlyfitting]

Hewwooo i just watched dominion todayyy

Spoilers below btw

THE MOVIE'S A MESS, SERIOUSLY.

Plotwise? Absolutely. Characterwise? Sorta. And i'm still mad that the prologue didn't make it to the movie LIKE WHAT THE FUCK-

Before watching it i already had a feeling it'd be a mess and yep. I didn't care about lewis dodgson (dogson??) he's super boring to be a villain, the same with uhhh eli mills (is that was his name in fk?) and that guy who wanted dinos to be a weapon in jw

I like hybrid dinos to be the threat much more like the previous jw movies because it felt more.....natural (p ironic cause hybrids aren't natural lol)?? I just like how i can feel the tension as the characters running away from em, it's the whole survival aspect yk?

But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable tho! I love seeing dinos and dominion absolutely delivers!!! I wanna see the old trio back and yepp i love them having that shenanigans in the adventure, then owen and barry's friendship aaaaaaa, then blue and beta (wishing there's more of blue tho), and imo kayla is one of the best feature dominion ever had, i wasn't that interested (skeptical even) when i saw her in the promo/posters cause i had a feeling she'll ended up like zia (who in my opinion is pretty boring and bland) but nope! The way she loved flying and her plane and just trying to mind her own business? Yeah i love that lol. And maybe because i'm tired with the whole "dinos are worth saving kind of motivation" from the charas so that i found her character more interesting

Then the camp cretaceous tie ins eh? My heart fucking dropped when i knew that the dinos in biosyn are already getting chipped LIKE WHAT THE FUCK 😭 i swear the whole firecracker getting chipped by kash is already disturbing enough and now those dinos got thst treatment again i- 👁👄👁

AND EUGH THOSE CRICKETS (uh grasshopper?) WHAT THE FUCK. I gotta admit i don't really like em being a main threat tho, it doesn't feel jurassic to me tbh. But wow i love them too cause they're horrifying >:)

Oh and and and that a scene when someone called alan as dr grant will never not made my brain stopped working for a sec i thought it was steven grant from moon knight lmaoooo 😭 (i've been way too far and desperate for more mk stuff asjkshkss)

AND FINALLY BIG DINO BATTLE WOOOOOOOOO

I was dissapointed that there's no blue in there tho but goddamn the therizino and rexy team up against that bitch giga is so good 😩🤌

But again i'm sorry BUT the battle itself is the least enjoyable final battle i've ever seen compare to the previous jw movies. It's because the set up tho, the final battle in jw always had a special place in my heart cause i rex itself is already being the biggest threat there is and i am rooting for the heroes to save the day. But in this one? Is giga really a threat? I don't feel like it is, for the humans yeah but the other dinos? That's just the nature....there's no feeling to see giga as this unnatural being cause it's not a hybrid. I think it'd be more interesting if giga attacked rexy and therizino cause the chip, okay you know what they should've made that chip to be the main focus like in cc s5 😔

But in the end i still love it eheheheeee

Warning : dimetrodon slander lol

Lastly when those dimetrodons appeared uGhH, why them tho 😭 I HATE THIS MF WITH MY WHOLE FRIGGIN HEART. They're just ugly and annoying and i don't like em 😔

Okayy that's all i got baiii

[meggannn]

burning shores thoughts

gameplay:

fuck bilgeguts lmao. i dont know why guerrilla's new criteria for making machines is "1. does it spam all its aoe attacks which are impossible to dodge? 2. is it huge? 3. will it flop on top of you? most of all, 4. is it annoying?" these elements were not fun in frozen wilds and they're not fun here either

i was reluctant to embrace the gliding feature when it finally came to fw, i feel it was something guerrilla kind of shoehorned in because fans just wanted it reeeealllly badly (esp as a crutch to make fans feel better after killing off varl), and i feel somewhat vindicated here because of how goddamn clunky i still find flying even with a decent mastery of the controls. those aerial vantage points in particular were a real pain sometimes (yeah, guerilla, while this woman talks about her moral struggles in the end times, the perfect background noise is a bunch of machines yapping at me and throwing missiles my way because you FORCED me to glide into their field of view...) it is true i enjoyed soaring over the landscape at some points, but the burning shores were MADE to be soared over; it's just straight impossible to walk or swim everywhere on the map here but i genuinely still would have happily ridden a strider the whole way, because at least there i feel like i am still interacting with the world. it makes me wonder how they're going to handle this in horizon 3, if aloy will still be able to fly, because that'll negate a lot of the exploration.

speaking of: since you can now traverse great distances in seconds, burning shores feels a lot emptier than frozen wilds. idk if that was intentional or it was rushed, but i was surprised there were only like three sidequests, and entire areas were completely untouched if you didn't care to hunt down all the collectibles. i felt like the map could've been half its size and i wouldn't have lost anything.

story:

on the whole, i feel the same way about burning shores as i do the main story: unnecessary drama over billionaire characters we shouldn't be focusing on anymore. i've said it before but guerrilla's human villains are quite frankly boring, with the exception of tilda who at least had a twist, if predictable. "power-mad white guy" only worked well once with ted faro in hzd because it was simple, effective, and didn't drag itself out, and then it got boring and marvel-esque in fw with the stupid immortality plot. imo we didn't need three other flavors of power-mad white guy to deal with in the zeniths.

mind control. okay. at this point i have to accept guerrilla just wants to go full scifi/cyberpunk, which is not inherently a bad thing, but it's also not the horizon i fell in love with. their environmental focus seems to have been put on the backburner so maybe i should keep my expectations low in horizon 3. ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

it's not all bad. conceptually, there were some things i liked about it more than i liked about frozen wilds. it was clear from the offset why aloy was going to LA; that is justification i thought was weak in frozen wilds, because "dangerous machines are up in banuk territory, let's stick our nose into these tribal politics" always felt like a stupid excuse to find a way to introduce hephaestus and cyan. in burning shores, from the beginning, we know londra is dangerous and why we have to track him down. i also frankly just find the quen more interesting than the banuk but that's me. sadly though, we don't actually learn that much more about the quen because the plot is mostly about their current londra problem, not their actual culture? which is a shame. i did like the sidequest about helping people stand up to their supervisors and finding more focuses back home, though.

seyka and romance options:

in a vacuum, i like seyka well enough. i have been craving more asian characters in horizon. i don't mind the thought of aloy having a romance and i obviously support more wlw in media.

in context, it irks me a little that guerrilla's idea of "cool female character" basically amounts to the same type of person, just another aloy from another tribe: sassy, hot-headed, rule-breaking hunter/survivalist. this is just me, but i don't particularly want to see aloy get in a relationship with someone who's exactly the same as her. yes, they're similar and they both keep secrets, i see what you're saying guerrilla, but i don't actually think the way aloy interacts with other people would be good for her to experience in a partner from the other direction. "like attracts like" does happen irl, but it doesn't always make for compelling push-and-pull in a fictional relationship.

but do i want people to have the option? sure! i certainly don't want the option REMOVED now that it's there. i just grow increasingly frustrated with guerrilla's idea of which type of character is "worthy" of time and attention in this way, like we have to see a snarky young female machine hunter from every tribe until they find one that sticks. zo and alva were breaths of fresh air for this reason (not that they should've necessarily been romance options, but they're proof that guerrilla CAN write more personalities than "another flavor of aloy").

honesty hour, my real question is: did guerrilla give aloy a female romance because they wanted to shake off some of the bad blood after killing aloy's black best friend and having a predatory lesbian be hfw's main villain? maybe. i'm cynical so i do wonder.

this is gonna sound mean, but i feel like guerrilla's character writing isn't strong enough to justify romances at the moment; the cracks were there in fw but they really showed in this dlc. if all it took for aloy to have feelings for someone was to meet another rule-defying hunter woman around her age that she immediately gelled with, then talanah should be at the top of the list, who she has WAY more connection and camaraderie with, something aloy has learned IS important for her to feel secure in a relationship.

character treatment:

i'm quite frustrated guerrilla keeps introducing new shiny toys, playing with them for a while while they ignore other characters, and then any criticism of how they did a thing is now dismissed as bigotry or haterade. i'll level with you, with the way they've treated their dlc story and characters in the past, i am not optimistic seyka will have a significant role in horizon 3, so i don't even know if i should bother getting attached to her. maybe they'll prove me wrong! but where the hell were cyan, ikrie, and aratak in forbidden west? did they seriously only bring back gildun and give him a sad backstory and a focus out of pity? are they really giving HIM more depth in fw than avad, vanasha, etc? at least go back to chainscrape and give petra a focus!

[whence-the-woody]

Catching fire rewatch

Hemsworth is supposed to be what 19? Looks 35. She's also definitely not 17.

Omg Gale making her feel guilty for survival. Twat. It's an aspect of him in the books but film gale is just that.

The ankle break healing period is a big loss

Snow is so good lbr. How is he also Mr Bennett?!

Katniss never wanted war, she just wanted her family safe. Its so much more complex then one girl starts a revolution. Love it sf much.

Ugh all the stuff on camera. So cringe I die.

Peeta is just so good I love him

They overuse the salute in the movies

I like that Gale chooses to stay for the rebellion and its not about katniss. More true to the character.

It's true that katniss doesn't know how she feels about anything or anyone until the second reaping. Then it's all about saving Peeta.

You could live 100 lifetimes and never deserve that boy. So true.

There are survivors. No winners. This is the main point they leave out of the films that really bothers me. Those who live are forced to mentor, to be slaves to the capitol, are sex trafficked, their loved ones killed, the torture doesn't stop. No one wins.

She's right. If anyone deserves to live it is peeta.

Movie katniss really seems more in love with gale then book katniss ever was.

We deserve haymitchs story. His trauma is so overlooked.

Ugh effies face. Every time.

I so ship effie and haymitch ngl

They make the Victor's all look crazy without pointing out enough that they were made that way

One of the problems is how old jlaw is in this but you can deny she's damn beautiful in this movie

Finnick is the worst death idec. Worse then prim.

I do love johanna. Again, they cut out her trauma and backstory too much.

I don't love the 2nd one but the whole interview portion is perfect.

Finnick and Annie break my fucking heart man

The censorship just says so much

If it weren't for the baby. Peeta you underestimated genius you.

Obviously ceasar is always a villain but when they hold hands he looks proper traditional villain. Goddamn tucci.

Effies character development tho

First tears. I'm still betting on you.

Aspect ratio. Masterclass once again.

Forever mad they cut out peetas prosthetic

Ugh maggs. The actress does such a good job.

Peeta helping her die peacefully 🥺. I get why katniss didn't know but they could've given the morphlings names

Really loving johanna on this rewatch. Her angry form of love and protectiveness.

Annie and finnick. Every time. I need to know their story.

Those shitty movie stills in the necklace 🙄

That kiss tho

I know it can all be called an act but she's so scared to leave him. And really she never sees this version of peeta again.

It's pretty boring from this point lbr

I need to reread the books but in terms of the films, catching fire feels very building block. Like it sets up everything that comes next but in and of itself it doesn't move things much. It's like the start. And alot of introductions. But really the story only moves forward in the last 10 minutes.

[coonhoundcat]

'Sure' | Hero x Villain Snippet

-There's a lot of blood in this-

A wide grin slowly broke out across Hero's face, and they bounced back on their heels, hands folded behind them. "Welcome to my town, Villain. I think we'll be seeing a lot of each other. I've got to say-" They leaned in, raising their eyebrows suggestively, "I love the outfit."

Villain stared darkly back, sporting a fresh blackeye and an indentation perfectly matching the Hero's fist. "I'm sure you do."

Hero laughed, shifting back into a comfortable standing position. Villain was into dry humor, then.

"Let me show you around? I wouldn't want you getting lost on your first day. C'mon, you can trust me."

"... No."

"Aw, don't look at me like-"

"Like you're a goddamn snake? Or a stoat?" Villain waited a moment while Hero sputtered, and then took their leave of the roof.

Hero stood gasping for a solid minute, before absently lifting a hand to rub at the blood oozing out from under their own eye. "Ouch..."

---

Down, under, up. Punch one, two. Like the hundreds of times before. A familiar pattern.

Hero and Villain spun around each other, crossing from one rooftop to the next, coming together briefly in flashes of movement and separating just as quickly. One springing for a fire escape, the other giving chase, barely a wrung behind. Like all the times before. The metal had rusted just enough, this time. Villain came crashing down into Hero, just below, knocking them both off the drop ladder. The pattern was broken.

Hero slammed into the lower roof first, what little breath remaining immediately being forced out of their lungs bodily by the Villain smashing full-on into their chest.

They laid on the roof, wheezing, back-to-stomach, for a roughly an eternity before Villain weakly made to roll off to the side.

Hero threw their arms tightly around the Villain, using their momentum to flip the positions, smacking Villain's shoulders into the tile and trapping them under Hero's own weight.

"Nope. I caught you. Can't have you escaping." Hero panted through their grin, vaguely noting the stinging pain at the back of their head. Time enough to deal with that later, when they didn't have Villain tucked beneath them, staring widely into their eyes, and breathing so heavily, their chests brushing together- "You know I find you incredibly hot?"

Hero didn't think those eyes could get any wider-- and suddenly the eyebrows were drawn, the gaze pitch black, almost upset--

"I'm sure you do."

"Well, of course I-"

Villain's knees slammed into their stomach, sending Hero up and rolling off to the side, gasping and groaning.

Hero gawked from the fetal position as Villain staggered to their feet. They brushed vigorously at their suit before turning to stare disinterestedly at the town's favorite garbage heap. "Do better."

Villain shook their head, starting to step away. "You're a hero, after all. Find some integrity. I'm sure you can."

---

Hero spat out a chunk of something solid, doubled over on the rooftop. Shakily, they wiped the blood and spit from their mouth, blinking up through matted hair. God, the sunset was burning red; Villain stood just in front of it, as though channeling that gloriously violent energy. They could have been a god, soaked head to toe, rivers of crimson flowing from their face and hands.

"I really like your color scheme." Hero laughed a little wetly-- what an incredible understatement.

Villain stepped forward, determined despite their labored breathing and whistling chest. "I'm sure you do."

"Why-" Hero gasped, hacking up a fresh patch of black grit, "Why do you always say that?"

Those eyes shouldn't look so bored, so cold.

"I mean it, I do."

"I'm sure you do."

Hero screamed.

"I'm NOT a liar! I'm not! Why can't you just believe me? I'm a-"

"A what? A hero?"

"I am a hero! I'm a fucking hero!"

Hero broke, tears suddenly pouring down their face to mix with the saliva and blood. They bent over the roof gravel, struggling to breath through the sobs and retching. They were a hero and heroes were good and trustworthy.

A body sat down heavily beside them, a hand coming to rest tentatively on their back. Hero blinked blindly through the salt in their eyes, trying and failing to speak coherently.

"I'm.... I'm sorry." The voice was raspy, and the hand pressed down a little more firmly, starting to rub wide circles into the least bruised areas of skin.

Hero shook their head feebly, desperate to just take it all back, to start all of this over. It wasn't a power they'd been granted.

"You deserved better. I-" Villain choked out a high-pitched cough. When they started again, it was with a hoarse whisper. "I didn't want to disappoint you."

[bakugostiddies]

Please god do a villain!au with Todoroki 🧎‍♂️ I usually don't like those but omfg with him it would totally work

Absolutely. This turned into a 4k word fic, but I am too attracted to this man to be ashamed.

Icarus | Todoroki Shouto x Reader

Warnings: eventual smut, temperature play, impact play, kind of dub-con but not really, degradation, praise, villain!au, corruption kink, no gendered terms but reader has a vagina and breasts.

NSFW | 18+

You had fucked up.

The room was dark and dank, eerily quiet save for the sound of your breathing. You looked around frantically, struggling to break loose from the bonds that held you. Shit. Shit. Shit.

As your eyes adjusted, you noted that there was a door ahead of you, a steel one with two deadbolt locks. You could feel a metal chair beneath you, rattling each time you moved even slightly. Your arms and legs were restrained by some sort of extremely strong fabric, but your mouth was unrestricted. Shit. Shit. What was Endeavor going to say? You were still just his sidekick, but this was your first big operation and you blew it completely. He would kill you when you got back, you just knew it. Endeavor took his temper out on you even when you did well, which meant you had no clue what he would do to you after a fuckup this bad. Shit.

Calm down, Y/N, you told yourself mentally. You were safe and unharmed, so maybe they just wanted information. You attempted to activate your teleportation quirk, but it didn’t work. What happened? You could feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate. You didn’t want to die here, after being kidnapped by some asshole who wouldn’t even fight you face to face.

“If you’re wondering why you can’t use your quirk, we just took it away for a while.”

A voice emerged from the shadows of the room, soft and almost velvety. You flinched. You hadn’t even realized someone was here. How could you have missed something so obvious? You felt like a shitty fucking hero.

“Who are you?” You said after a moment.

“Im surprised you didn’t recognize me. Well, I suppose it is a bit dark in here.”

And suddenly with the flick of a match, the voice became a man and the shadows around the room came to life. You swallowed harshly, all of the moisture in your mouth gone. The man stalked towards you with a sureness of a predator and stopped a few feet away from where you were sat in the metal chair. You looked up at his two toned hair, his strong, rugged figure in the flickering light. He wore a suit not too different from that of a hero’s, but he was tinged with scorch marks and small icy spikes. He looked like he was made of fire.

“Well?” He said it softly, but there was a hint of malice in his tone. “Who am I?”

You couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, your body almost paralyzed with fear. You knew who he was, of course you did. He was the one who helped blew up that building on the case you were on a month ago. He was the one who ambushed those (kind of sleazy) businessmen on their way to a cartel. He was the one who’s name was whispered in fear and awe on the nations’ streets. He was standing right in front of you, looking… bored?

The man sighed and fiddled with his match. “Hurry it up, hero, I don’t have all day.”

You spoke almost inaudibly. “You’re Icarus.”

He smiled slightly and a chill ran down your spine.

“See? That wasn’t too hard.”

He moved a bit closer to you and leaned down, his heterochromatic eyes almost level with your own. A single gloved hand moved to touch your chin with his thumb and index finger, moving your head from side to side with a feather-light touch. You hoped he couldn’t feel how scared you were, how your body seethed and rejected his very presence.

He finally released your face and you let out a sigh of relief. Icarus removed a single glove and touched his fingers gently to the match. It went out without smoke or a flicker, just a gentle hiss of frozen silence. The room was dark again, and he was moving, knocking on one of the walls.

“Turn on the lights, Red Riot.”

Your eyes widened. Red Riot? Wasn’t he the pro-hero who became a villain after Dynamight? Holy shit, was Dynamight here? Icarus interrupted your train of thought as the lights flickered on almost menacingly. You noted your surroundings carefully, seeing a bed in the corner, a small table, and another chair. The room looked less like a prison and more like a shitty motel suite.

“Do you know why you’re here?” He sat down in a chair across from you, leaning forward with his arms on his thighs and his legs spread slightly.

“I don’t know, Icarus.”

“Heres a hint; it has something to do with your boss.”

“Endeavor?”

You could feel bile rushing up your throat but you swallowed it down. The man before you clenched his jaw rigidly, as if it pained him to hear the name, but returned to normal so quickly you might have imagined it.

“You’re a bright one. Yes, hero, the very same. And do you have any idea on what he’s planning to do, say, sometime in the next six months?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

His tone was harsher now and he got out of his chair, moving closer to you again. You felt so small under his scrutiny, yet drawn to him like a moth to a flame, like Icarus himself to the sun.

“You see, I’m the only reason you’re alive. And if you want to keep your pretty little head-“ he circled around behind you- “you will listen to what I say.” His voice was barely a whisper in your ear, and your voice hitched in your throat.

“Do you understand?” He asked, straightening up.

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir.”

This was so goddamn humiliating, like your first day working with Endeavor all over again. With him, it was always a yes, sir, no, sir, please don’t make me work weekends, sir. But you swallowed your pride again and spat it out.

“Yes… sir.”

“A hero that obeys commands, what a find,” he said tauntingly. “But you could stand to lose that attitude.”

You wanted to slap him, to beat him up to the point of him being bruised and bloody and broken and then have him call you sir instead. God, if only you could teleport out of these fucking restraints-

“You’re thinking about using your quirk, correct?” It was like the asshole could read your mind.

“You can’t. Aizawa Sensei took yours away. You know him as Eraser-head.”

Fuck, Eraser-head was here too? All of the biggest villains were gathered here together and you- you could do nothing.

“So I’ll ask you again. What are Endeavor’s plans?”

At that moment, you made yourself a promise; that you would not let Icarus win. Little did you know that you would break that promise a thousand times over.

———-

Two days later:

———-

“Did Endeavor tell you about the attacks?”

“No, sir.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Come on now, you can tell me. I won’t hurt you.”

“...”

“Still no response? No matter, I have time to get it out of you.”

———-

Seven days later:

———-

“Still not talking, hero?

Look at that, the silent treatment.

I never thought an adult could be so petty. Just tell me where I can get more information.

Nothing?

Okay. Eat your soup, I can’t have you dying on me before you start talking.

And hero? You will have to open your mouth sooner or later.”

————

16 days later:

————

“Cut the bullshit, hero. We know he has plans for a big attack sometime during the next six months, so either Deku is wrong, or you are lying to my face. And Deku’s never wrong.”

“Well, I guess he’s wrong this time.”

“Then I guess we’ll return you since this has all just been one big mishap.”

“Really?”

“No. You aren’t the smartest, are you?”

“Maybe my brain will somehow recall something about this totally real attack you think is happening if you give me better food?”

“Don't be a brat, hero. I wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble if I had known you would be so inconvenient.”

“Whatever you say, sir.”

————

20 days later:

————

“Thanks for the bread, sir. It's quite an upgrade for a kidnapped person’s shitty meal.”

“You have low standards, hero.”

“Hey, why do you call me that?”

“What, hero?”

“Yeah. I have a name, you know. It's-“

“I know what your name is.”

“Okay, Jeez. If you knew it, then why not use it? Plus, I’m not even a hero yet. I’m still technically just a shitty sidekick who’s totally blown it on my first solo mission. I’m never going to be a pro at this rate, I might as well just give up.”

“I think you’re good.”

“What?”

“I said, you’re powerful and good at using your quirk. You have a lot of assets and it’s a shame your talent is wasted on Endeavor and the fools at the pro-hero agencies. It was difficult to actually catch you off guard, to get past your guards, to make sure your quirk was out of commission. And we are very strong.”

“Oh. Um, thanks, I guess?”

“Don’t thank me, hero. I’m just stating the obvious.”

————

25 days later:

————

“Why is your name Icarus?”

“It's not my real name.”

“Well no shit, dude. I'm asking why you chose it.”

“Icarus was a boy who followed his father’s instructions perfectly, but the moment he strayed from the path set out for him, he was punished, scalded by the flames of the sun, and cast away. But I think it was worth it for him in the end.”

“Why?”

“Because he was free. Because Icarus flew, and he was able to be his own person, even if it was just for a moment.”

“Do you feel like Icarus?”

“Most of the time I do, yes.”

“Sir?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think that right now, you’re flying or cast away?”

“At this very moment, I think I am flying.”

“You know what? I think so too.”

————

29 days later:

————

“So what’s your real name, sir?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why?”

“Classified. Also, I don’t need you to know my name.”

“But you know mine!”

“That's because you’re a prisoner, in case you’ve forgotten. You are almost unnervingly at ease here.”

“I’ve met three people so far and you have all given me no reason to fear.”

“Really? Not even Dynamight?”

“His hair makes me laugh. Plus, I can’t take airheads with overinflated egos seriously.”

“I agree with that assessment wholeheartedly.”

“You agree with my assessment- Sir, you sound like an old man.”

“I’m only three years older than you, you know.”

“Really? But you have all of these wrinkles?”

“I do not have wrinkles.”

“Fine, frown lines then.”

“That makes it sound like I don’t smile.”

“Well, you don’t!”

“It’s hard to find things to smile about.”

“God, you’re such an Edgelord.”

“What do you mean by that? hero, stop laughing.”

“You are definitely an old man.”

————

30 days later:

————

There had been a new development a couple of days ago in the kidnapping situation. You could feel your quirk again, which meant a lot of things. It meant you weren’t here against your will anymore, that you were free to go. Yet you remained. You still stayed in the same room with Icarus checking in on you in the afternoons. However, it had been given furniture- a desk and more comfortable chairs, a small rug on the floor, and thicker blankets. It was almost like you weren’t even a prisoner anymore. You could always leave, you reasoned. You could teleport out of here. Your quirk was back, and yet you stayed.

The other villains had taken a liking to you for reasons beyond your comprehension, but all it meant was that you were never short on company. Dynamight would burst in to complain about how Deku always got the best missions, Red Riot would bring in a deck of cards and the two of you would play go fish or bluff, even Deku would occasionally check up on you and make sure you were comfortable. But your afternoons? They were always set aside for your favorite visitor- Icarus.

...

“You haven’t answered my question about your name yet.”

You were sitting on the cot in your almost room, feet dangling off the edge and swinging back and forth. Icarus was sitting on his chair again, but lazily, with his arms locked behind his head and his legs precariously balanced against the edge of the bed.

“You haven’t answered any of my questions since you got here, so I don’t believe you have a right to complain.”

He was right, of course. He always was. But technically, he was equally at fault in this case. He was the one who sucked at interrogation, so much so that you took pity on his colleagues. They would have to deal with his lack of results.

You weren’t complaining, however. You enjoyed talking to him, looking at him, being in his presence. It was a stupid crush to have, but you didn’t care. He was beautiful to look at, the way his biceps curled behind his head, the lean toughness of his body, the sheer strength he possessed. Your eyes trailed down his sprawling figure, tracing each indent and dip and curve of his skin in your mind.

“Are you finished staring at me?” His words jerked you out of your stupor and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks.

“I-I wasn’t- I didn’t-“ you babbled until he stopped you.

“Don’t worry, it’s only natural to find me… appealing. You haven’t spent time with anyone else for a very long time.”

You almost screamed on the spot, burying your face in your hands. You peeked out between your splayed fingers to look at him, seemingly unbothered save for the slight pink tinge hidden beneath his bangs.

“How can you say things like that, sir?”

“Like what?”

“Uhm, never mind.”

You wanted the ground to swallow you up whole. He was so, so dense, it was a wonder he even noticed you basically eye-fucking him. You felt the cot creak beside you and a slight dip in the weight. Icarus had seated himself beside you on the small bed and was looking at you with eyes full of concern.

“I did not mean to shame you for your gaze, hero.”

He said it gently and kindly. It would be almost romantic if not for the situation you were in. You remained silent, so he continued.

“I believe it is normal for you to feel this way towards someone who has been in such close quarters with you for so long a time. You should be glad that you still have these urges.”

You suppressed a groan. This felt like having the sex talk with your parents all over again. “Sir-“

“-in fact, everyone feels them!”

He was rambling, oh god you needed him to shut up-

“I feel them for you all the time, and I’m completely normal.”

And suddenly, the air changed between you into something charged and heated.

“You… have urges around me?” You wanted to hear him say it again, just once, but he turned away from you, tensing up and rising from his seat awkwardly. His face was stony and his hair covered his eyes like bicolored curtains. There suddenly was space between the two of you, some insurmountable gap that could not be bridged.

“I apologize deeply. I have misspoken.”

“Sir, wait, you don’t have to leave!” You cried out as he made his way to the door.

“But I do. You don’t deserve this treatment, and it is cruel of me to hurt you in this manner.”

And that was when something broke within you, something that had been holding you together this whole time.

“No.”

He turned around, almost scared by the anger in your voice.

“This is when you decide to stop? You have literally kidnapped me, interrogated me, left me in all but isolation, for a fucking month. You took me from everything that I wanted and everyone that I love and yet, and YET, I wanted you. Goddamn it, I still want you. I don’t understand why. So don’t apologize to me for misleading me or whatever bullshit excuse you’ve decided to use as a sheild. Apologize for everything you have done to me, you fucking cunt.”

And then your voice broke and you could feel the tears rushing to your eyes, your vision turning glassy as your chest heaved with sobs. You could feel yourself slipping away, your breaths growing shallow and your body shaking. Why did you stay here? Why didn’t you leave when you could? What was the point, if Icarus didn’t even want you?

And then, suddenly, you felt warm.

Icarus, sir, whoever the fuck he was, was holding you tightly in his arms, head dipped down into the crook of your neck, his arms enveloping you in his warmth. He was your sun. And he could scorch you again and again but you would still be drawn to him.

Your panic died down and you wept for the first time since you arrived. The two of you sank down to the floor, his apologies muttered swiftly and quietly against your skin. You were in his lap now, your body curled up into a ball in his embrace, one of his palms cupping your face. He turned you slightly towards him.

His eyes were wet too, but only slightly, and his fingers were thumbing at the tears on your cheeks. One of them got close to the corner of your mouth and slowly but surely, with almost childlike fascination, he pushed the tip of it in. Your tongue ran along the edges of it, the salty taste leaving you wanting more.

And slowly, Icarus leaned forward, his lovely face the closest you had ever been to him. He removed his finger from your mouth and kissed you instead, gently, and then all at once.

It was a furious kiss, on that burned and heated a cold room. You could feel teeth and tongue and hot tears, a clashing finale of a kiss. It was against your lips that he murmured his name.

“My name is Todoroki Shouto.”

He said it softly, leaving your lips to place open-mouthed kisses on your neck that left you moaning and had wetness pooling between your legs. But suddenly, your eyes snapped open.

“Todoroki? As in-“

He kissed you again to silence as you felt the questions racing through your head. Endeavor was Todoroki Enji, right? But he had never mentioned having kids to you? Was Shouto lying to you? Why did he want to destroy his father? And how were you-

“Shh.” Shouto tapped his forehead to yours. “Let me take care of you.”

Fuck it. The questions could wait.

Shouto reached down to pull off your shirt and groaned at the sight of you. He looked at you in wonder.

“You- hero, you make me feel like I’m on fire.” He said it with such sincerity that you nearly cried again were it not for his palming of your breasts, his burning fingertips tweaking your nipples and making you whimper slightly.

“I am so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I put you through-“ you were placed on the bed- “I’m sorry for taking you away-“ He was kneeling, fucking kneeling, between your legs- “but most of all-“ fuck, he placed hot kisses on your stomach as he pulled your pants down-

“I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to do this sooner.”

And with that, his tongue was lapping at you through your panties, new ones that the villains had provided for you, with reckless abandon. Your hands tugged at his hair and you heard his hum of a chuckle as a vibration on your pussy. There was pressure, so much pressure from him against you, like nothing you had felt before, and when he finally pushed your panties aside, they were soaking wet.

Shouto looked up at you for a moment, meeting your gaze with his own, eyes sparkling with desire. And then, without a word, He pressed a small kiss to your clit that had you jolt slightly before he dove in. He had you moaning within seconds, his tongue lapping at your folds before swirling around your clit. You felt yourself reaching a climax- it was too good and too fast and too much and- Shouto pushed a finger inside you and crooked it slightly and you began humping your hips upwards as he nursed at your clit. Your climax was swift and powerful, but he didn’t move throughout it. Even as you came down from your high, his mouth planted on you and his finger gently pumped in and out. Shouto added one more easily, and you swore you saw stars when he began thrusting. He fucked you with his fingers, marveling at your reactions, the sounds you made, your pussy pulling him in.

“Fuck, hero, you’re so wet. Is this all for me? Have you gotten off to me fucking you like this in this bed?”

You moaned loudly and Shouto removed his fingers, leaving you feeling empty. There was a dark look in his eyes that you remembered from the first day you arrived.

“Answer me, hero.”

You nodded your head slightly, but that wasn’t enough for him. He rose to his feet and without warning, he smacked your clit. You squealed loudly from the stimulation, the pain turning into pleasure quickly. His palm was cold as ice, and you squirmed dumbly against his touch.

“Answer the question.”

“Yes, yes, sir, I’ve thought about you fucking me everywhere in this room-“

Shouto’s palm reverted back to his normal temperature and you sighed with relief as he cupped your pussy and rubbed it gently.

“What a good, slutty, hero. Have you touched yourself when you think about me?”

You blushed slightly and hid your face behind your hands. God, this was embarrassing. Of course you had gotten off to the thought of him, but to say it out loud was a different feeling altogether.

You took too long and Shouto spanked your clit again. You let out a shriek and tried to wriggle away from him, but he just pulled you closer.

“I want to see your face, doll.” You whimpered at the new pet name. “Now, have you touched yourself when you think about me?”

“Y-yes sir-”

“Y-yes s-sir-‘ so shy for someone who wants a villain to fuck your hero pussy into behaving.” he palmed himself over his trousers, letting out a little huff of pleasure. “I want to, shit, want to fucking ruin you.”

Shouto pulled you to him as your hips thrust desperately against the air.

“Yes sir! Want you to fuck me, want you inside me-“

He groaned and humped into you, the metal of his belt buckle catching against your clit and making you flinch with overstimulation. Shouto noticed and pulled you closer as he stood at the side of the bed, your back flat against the mattress and your hips arched upwards to meet his bulge. He rutted into you again, forcing your pussy to kiss the metal of the buckle once more. You felt your body seizing up, your orgasm building inside you, and Shouto, with a sadistic gleam in his eyes, pressed his buckle harder against you.

The longer it stayed there, the more it heated up, almost more pain than pleasure, until Shouto wrapped your legs around his waist and thrust against you. There was a wet patch on his pants and you kept shrinking away from the burning hot metal that teased at your clit.

“You have no idea what you do to me, fucking hell-” He managed to spit out, “I’m not even inside you and you’re dripping all over me like a bitch in heat-”

He continued to hump you roughly, each time more forceful than the last until you came loudly as Shouto pushed your body into the belt buckle. “No more, Shouto, please, no more- its too much-”

“Too much for you already, hero? I haven’t even come yet. And you- how many times have you reached your climax today?”

You almost screamed with frustration- how were you supposed to know, you didn't fucking keep track-

“I can tell you, brat.” He grabbed your waist and flipped you easily onto your stomach. You were completely exposed to him now, unable to see his face, out of control entirely.

“You have come three fucking times. That doesn’t feel very fair to me, does it? Do you want my cum inside you?”

You buried your face into your pillow, and he pushed down slightly on your lower back, creating an arch. You startled when he teased his cockhead against the surface of your pussy, wetness coating his dick.

“Shouto, I want your cum-”

His palm came down hard on your asscheek, forcing a gasp out of you as he rubbed it softly with his palms. He leaned closer towards you, his voice whispering in your ear.

“Then beg.”

And, with your voice muffled by the pillow, you followed his orders.

“Sir, fuck me, please, please- I need you inside me, I need you to cum for me, please- Shouto, Daddy-“

Your begging got cut off by him thrusting into you. You screamed and he shushed you gently, holding your hand with his own. “Do you think you can take the rest of it?”

The rest of it? There was more? You looked over your shoulder and nearly passed out. You had barely taken half of his length and you were already completely filled up. But… you wanted to feel him, all of him, so you muttered a soft “yes.”

“Okay, baby, take it easy…” he eased a couple more inches into you before you tightened up, your pussy clenching and back arching as he slid in. “Oh fuck,” Shouto groaned. “Do that one more time and I won’t be able to hold back.”

And of course, you grinned. And proceeded to clench yourself around his length again.

Shouto nearly growled. “I warned you, hero.”

And then, he thrust into you. Hard. And he kept going, pumping in and out of your body like a machine, his thumb rubbing against your clit and his other hand on your leg. You are screaming and crying and babbling on about how good his cock is, how good you felt, how this is what you wanted. And Shouto? The cocky bastard was gloating.

“Look at you, such a good slut on my cock. Are you crying? God, thats so fucking hot. I’ve got a cute little hero crying on my dick. I know you can use your quirk now, Hero, I know Aizawa sensei returned it to you. Did you stay because you wanted me to fuck you like this? Did you want to be corrupted?”

“Yes,” you’re almost incoherent, “yes, ruin me, make me a villain, I wanna be a villain!”

Shouto slows his pace for a moment. “You would leave Endeavor? Leave the agency?”

“Yes, I would, Shouto, fuck, anything for you-”

He slapped the inside of your thigh before resuming his pace again. You had never felt so full before, his dick reaching places within you that you didn’t even know existed. His palms gripped the sides of your hips so tightly you thought you might bruise, tiny burn marks already forming in the place of his fingertips. You were close, so close, your tears and drool spilling over your pillow and your body limp and helpless before him. Shouto felt you clenching around him, completely spent.

“Do you want to cum again? What a greedy pussy you have, hero, a needy little cumdump.”

You couldnt get words out, croaking out your mumbled yeses and nodding your head vigorously. He pounded even harder into you and reached around your thighs to your clit, rubbing it in tiny circles as he fucked you. You could feel your climax building for the fourth time and you twitched pathetically beneath him. Finally, Shouto pinched your clit slightly and you came with a wail of his name.

He fucked you through your orgasm, but he was slower now, his strokes hitting you deeper than before.

“Do, fuck- do you want me to cum in your pretty pussy?”

Shouto was hunched over you, his head resting on your back and his arms caging you in so that he was all that surrounded you. His breath came out in cold pants and his thrusts got more and more erratic as he neared his own climax.

“Please, I need you to want this, I need you- shit, I...” You could hear the desperation in his voice, how he yearned for you, and you the words fell out of your mouth before you could stop them.

“Yes, Daddy! Want you to come inside, fucking breed me-”

“Oh fuck, Y/n-”

And then Shouto came with a groan, his cum splattering your insides with warmth. He pressed kisses to your spine, trailing his fingers down your arms as he turned you to the side. He didn’t pull out of you as he did so, causing you to groan slightly. Finally, he released you and gently removed his dick from where you were connected. Some of his cum oozed out and he pushed it back in with his fingers, trapping his seed within you forever.

The pair of you laid together side by side for a moment, Shouto’s fingers tracing your body with slow, lingering touches as if he was afraid you would shatter the moment he pressed too hard.

You were the one who broke the silence. “ You said my real name.”

“I did. I love your name, Y/n. It just felt... wrong to say it when you were my prisoner. It was easier to distance myself from you if I just thought of you as a random hero. But you’re more than that now.”

You stared straight into his eyes, your hands reaching up to run gently through his silky hair. “I’m not leaving, Shouto. I’m never leaving this place. And I’m not just staying for you- I like it here. The villains like me, and they respect me. You aren’t bad people- if anything, the rest of the world has been far worse than anything or anyone I’ve faced here. It feels like I’m finally home.”

Shouto gathered you into his arms and pressed you tightly to his side. “You will be mine now,” he said almost matter-of-factly.

“And you will be mine as well.” You planted a small kiss to his nose that made his eyelids flutter and a slight blush crawl onto his cheeks.

“You deserve the world, Y/n,” he said hesitantly. “And I am not even close to being good enough for you.”

Shouto’s eyes were downcast and you could see the doubt creeping in. You gently pressed your fingers to his furrowed brows and soothed the wrinkles away. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He asked.

“Put yourself down. You are more than enough for me. And Shouto? I don’t need the world. I already reached my sun.”

He smiled at you then, with no underlying malice, no undertone of darkness. It was blinding. Goddamn it, you would do anything to see that smile for the rest of your life.

“That was terribly cheesy, Y/n.”

“Shut up, Shouto.”

He kissed you, and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach fluttering up a storm. Todoroki Shouto was your sun, and you were his. And even if you both melted away under your flames, it would have been worth the loss.

-Bonus-

2 weeks later:

“So, uhm, Y/n, Todoroki, we were reviewing the footage from Y/n’s old room the other day. While we’re all happy you two are *ahem* together now, maybe you can display your... appreciation for one another in a more private place?” Kirishima was blushing profusely and refused to meet your eyes. Suddenly, it clicked for you.

“WE WERE BEING RECORDED?”

“And?”

“SHOUTO!”

“Ah yes, how horrible and violating, I feel as though I have been exposed indecently without my permission for the perverted public to see. They will be unable to contain themselves when faced with my immeasurably sexy figure.”

“You are NOT being helpful.”

“I beg to differ, Y/n. Kirishima, is there any way you can send me a copy of the tape-”

-----------

A/N: I hope you like this and please let me know if I should do a villain!UA series because I only write under the influence of peer pressure. 

[shurisneakers]

harmless (ii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, stealing cultural landmarks, frustrated bucky

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: made a header 4 this fic but i couldn’t take it seriously enough <3 

if you have any ideas for future inventions/evil plans, lemme know! it’s always fun to hear from y’all. 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

It’s roughly a week before he sees you next.

Right on time too, according to the briefings he had received. Once a week you’d come up with your next batshit crazy idea and someone would be sent to make sure you didn’t execute it.

It was more of a babysitting gig than anything. Most people would do one, maybe two assignments before asking to not be sent again. 

He was not most people. He volunteers to go again. His afternoon is relatively free and he’s bored. 

Also, and more importantly, he needs to get out of the house before Sam finds out what he did.

“You’ll find her near the Statue of Liberty.”

“How do we know?”

“Oh, she tells us.”

“...she tells us where to find her?”

“Most times, yes. She says it’s time efficient.”

Absurd. He thinks you’re absurd.

Bucky finds you in line to board the ferry. You’re dressed to the nines like an obnoxious tourist, even though you were a local, topped with binoculars and a bucket hat. 

On an unrelated note, he thinks that maybe the mission today is to kill you for daring to wear sandals with socks like a suburban dad. A shudder runs through his body when he sees it.  

He’s wearing all black and a baseball cap. Somehow he’s standing out more than you are.

He boards the ferry behind you, keeping a close eye on all your movements. You take your place near the railing, a seat near the front of the boat. 

His phone rings. He answers it, expecting Sam to screech at him for painting Redwing neon pink again. He should have known it was coming after he shoved Bucky off the quinjet before he had time to strap his parachute on properly. 

“I thought I told you to bring a cape.” 

He quickly looks up at you but you’re not facing him. You have your phone held up to your ear, however.

“How did you get this number?” he asks icily.

“I knew you’d show up again.” Your head tilts to look at the statue in the distance. “Also, thanks for the door money, but I’m not sure I appreciate how you think the least creepy way to give someone money is to drop it off anonymously at their doorstep.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He swiftly gets up, stalking over to where you’re sitting. He was advised not to do anything aggressive. Advised was a flexible word. 

“Because I wasn’t going to answer it.” You look up at his figure looming over you. “Oh, hey.”

The phone is still pressed to the side of your face even though he’s right beside you. He cuts the call, shoving it back into his pocket.

“Allow me to introduce my pl-”

“What are you doing here?” He cuts to the chase. 

You send him a glare. “I was going to say it before you told me to. And sit down before everyone thinks you’re going to kill me.”

“Why are you going there?” He doesn’t have time for this, he thinks. He has important things to do. Like watching the reruns of Masterchef Junior. 

He sits in the seat beside you.

“Look at us.” You grin at him. “Me with the evilest outfit I could think of, you with your... Addams Family cosplay. We’re like, two peas in a po-”

“Start explaining,” he interjects. 

You roll your eyes. “I’m going to shrink the Statue of Liberty and use it as a keychain.”

“What?” It’s probably the most benign plan he’s ever heard in his life.

“I’m kidding.” Oh, good. “I’m not using it as a keychain, I’m taking it to class.” Nevermind. 

“What?” He finds himself repeating his previous question.

“I’m shrinking all the statues I can find. I want to use it in my classroom to teach the kids.”

“You’re... a teacher?” He blinks.

“You got a problem with that?” You look offended, to say the least. 

“No.” It’s not what he would peg your occupation as. He didn’t think you had one at all. “How are you planning on shrinking it?”

You rummage through the ugliest fanny pack he has ever had the misfortune of seeing. You pull out a small ring box, complete with a bow tied neatly on top. 

“I was saving this for our third anniversary, but-” you offer him a nervous laugh.

His stony expression doesn’t change, not even a blink. 

“Fine, Jesus, you’re no fun,” you huff, dropping the emotional act when he doesn’t look amused. 

You flip open the lid. Inside there are a few small disks. It looks familiar, he realises.

“Your friend Ant-Boy didn’t file a patent, so I just took his whole shtick.” He wants to defend Scott’s honour; it’s Ant-Man not boy. He doesn’t. He’s too transfixed on what you have in your hand.

“Pym particles.”

“The diet version.” You pick up one of them carefully. “A ripoff, but effective. Just gotta attach it to the thing I want to shrink and give it a few minutes.”

“You’re going to steal the Statue of Liberty,” he says, frankly a little taken aback that you were serious.

“Would you relax? I’ll put it back.”

“That’s not the point,” he damn near exclaims. “You can’t take away the Statue of Liberty just because you feel like it.”

“I literally can.” You point to the chips in your hand. “That’s the point of this, keep up.”

He feels exasperated. He didn’t sign up for this when he became an Avenger.

“Give me the box.” He makes a grab for it but you yank it away from his reach.

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

“I don’t have time for this.” His reruns would begin in an hour.

“That’s my problem, because...” you trail off. 

He rolls his eyes, makes a grab at the box again. His tactic is different this time. He stealthily pins one of your arms down so that you’re basically incapacitated.

“Hey! Stop that.” You fumble against his reach, shoving him with your elbow.

“Just give me the thing and we can all go home for the day,” he huffs, unfazed by your squirming.

“No! Over my dead bod-” 

He doesn’t immediately notice what goes wrong in the scuffle. 

Until you look at the ground near your feet. A disk lay there, undisturbed.

“Is that-” All of a sudden, either he’s getting taller or the ceiling of the boat is getting lower.

“Oops,” you say, not remorseful in the slightest. 

“Are we going to-”

“I’d give it five minutes max.” 

Great. He was stuck on a boat that was beginning to shrink. The other passengers were either oblivious or ignorant to seats that were starting to become too small for them, but Bucky’s heightened senses and extreme reflexes made it hard to skip.

He nudges the piece of tech with his foot. Maybe he can kick it off the boat.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” you warn solemnly. He wants to disagree but doesn’t know enough about the device to dispute you. 

“Fix this,” he hisses, panic slightly rising. His fingers find their way to his phone to send out an emergency text requesting backup and mass evacuation. 

“I think it’s a rather lovely day for a swim, don’t you?” You stare dreamily at the waves that were inching closer up the boat. 

Or you were inching closer to the water. Technicalities were frivolous. 

“There are other people on this boat.”

“River’s big enough for all of us, I reckon.”

“Fix it.” 

“Or what?” There’s a wicked gleam in your eye. “We both know I have the upper hand here.”

“Or I call the entirety of the Avengers here and haul your ass to prison.”

“Will they bring snacks?”

You’re insufferable. You know it. But you also are the fastest way to get out of this situation and right now, he didn’t want to be responsible for a shipwreck simulation. 

“Fine. Tell me what you want.”

“I like soy chips.”

“Soy chi-” He nearly throws his hands up in frustration. “You know what I’m talking about.” 

“I want one historical artifact so I can impress the kids. They think I’m the cool teacher and I want to keep that reputation alive.”

“What makes you think I can arrange for that?”

“You’ve been alive since goddamn dinosaurs roamed this earth, I’m sure you have some connections.” You pause to assess his face. “You know, you don’t look a day over 29. Dermatologists must hate yo-”

“I’ll get you an artifact, now fix the fuckin’ boat.”

“You promise?” You grin brightly. 

He stares at you. You are unyielding. 

The boat’s uncomfortably small and people are beginning to take notice. Worried murmurs fill the air behind him.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You shrug simply.

You kneel over, picking up the chip from the ground. You do nothing else for two minutes, instead turning away from him to look at the Statue of Liberty that was coming closer.

It takes him a while to realise that half his body isn’t hanging off his chair anymore. The ceiling is moving further and further away from the top of his head. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He wants to strangle you. 

Why did he listen to you when all of this would have been over the minute he kicked it off the ship. 

“You can drop it off at my lair on Monday and pick it up on Friday.” You gather your belongings, leaving him steaming behind you. “Nice talkin’ to ya, Sergeant.” 

You step over him, flashing him a quick smile before walking off the boat with the rest of the tourists as if nothing had just taken place. When he looks down, the stupid ring box is on his lap.

He sits there, unmoving, eyes fixed on the container.

The ferry conductor asks if he’s going to get off the boat. 

He simply shakes his head.

Next part