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elvenbeard · 10 months

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I was at Phantom Liberty Tour Cologne and this is how it went!

Img: A screen showing Johnny Silverhand with tickets to the Phantom Liberty Tour Cologne and the title "Phantom Liberty Tour - 25. August 2023 Köln"

The following is 100% an expression of my personal views! I experienced the Phantom Liberty Tour event in Cologne as overall extremely positive, I had been very hyped about it in the weeks and days before, and CDPR did not disappoint me in any way shape or form with what they put together! For transparency, I didn’t have to pay for anything beyond my own travel costs and accommodation, everything else was included solely in my application for the event being accepted.

This post is intended as a way to give a glimpse into the experience to everyone who couldn’t go or whose application wasn’t accepted -and I just wanted to share my thoughts xD It was a very small and exclusive event with very limited tickets, and I still feel super priviliged to have been able to go there. I’m aiming to share my experience with everyone reading this now and give you at least a little peek behind the scenes of it all!

We didn’t have to sign any NDAs or such, we only weren’t allowed to take pics/videos or make audio recordings of the showcased gameplay!

If you’re also going to one of the upcoming events in your respective countries, maybe wait reading this until you’ve been there to not ruin any potential surprises! And also, if you don’t wanna be spoilered about anything Phantom Liberty as such, meaning, the actual game and story, but still wanna know about what the event was like: I will put a warning onto sections that contain spoilers for the gameplay, so you can skip those!

How me and my sibling even got invited in the first place

I only learned about this event more or less on accident when my sibling sent me a screenshot of an Instagram post about it XD So, big props to them for giving us both this chance! XD That was back in May, the post said “tell us why we should invite you to the PL tour in Cologne” in its sign-up form. I did, and then waited patiently to maybe hear back from them. Originally, after sending my submission, I received a reply saying that “if you’re invited, we (CDPR organizer team) will get back to you until August 4th “. In my submission I wrote something along the lines of that I’m relatively new to the game and fandom, but it quickly evolved into my new favourite video game and unlocked so much creativity for me, so that I’m making my own mods for it now, create art, and write. My sibling was a fan of the first hour, preordered the Collector’s Edition for PS4 back then, and now we can both simultaneously get hyped for Phantom Liberty. It would be an amazing opportunity if we could also attend this event together!

When I hadn’t heard back by then I accepted that I hadn’t been selected, was a bit sad, but it was alright. But then, a few days later while I was at work, I got an email with the headline “Hey Choomba” and I was like wtf? So, turns out, due to the insane amount of submissions they pushed back the notification day about a week. Around 1,500 people sent applications that the organizers all looked at individually, and only around 250 guests plus team members and special guests were actually present that night. I didn’t know about the delay in response, because I’m not active on social media beyond Tumblr… lemme tell you though, that was such a nice surprise, and I was super happy and would’ve been none the wiser had I not been picked xD

Due to the shorter timeframe though it was now a little harder to find a hotel still, as the PL Tour took place during Gamescom week. So, half of Gaming Europe was already in Cologne for that convention and hotels were scarce. On the one hand, it obviously made sense they put the date this weekend, so the devs already in Cologne anyway could swing by with ease. On the other hand, if you were, like me, definitely not from Cologne or the general area, a little more prep time ahead would’ve been nice.

Still though, my sibling and I still found a somewhat reasonable hotel and drove to Cologne in the early morning hours of August 25th!

Img: The door to the venue with a bright red "Phantom Liberty Tour" banner above the entrance

(cont. below the cut, long post with many pics, beware!)

The Venue, the Queue, the Delay, the Tickets

The sole information we had in advance was an address, to bring our ID cards as they’d make sure we are on the guest list and are 18+ years old. The event would start at 6pm and last until 12am. It said that "cosplays are very much appreciated" so I went in casual cosplay as Vince, because why the hell not XD But that was it in terms of what we knew about what was going to happen.

At around 5.20 p.m. we were at the location given to us via E-Mail. Parking was eh, but alright, we found a space close by, and as we drove past the venue, they were just in process of setting up their flag and banner. So yay, we’re in the right place! :D

Img: The black CDPR flag above the entrance :3

I was so fucking hyped, I couldn’t last in the car a second longer, so we just joined the queue and waited despite the occasional rain shower. We got talking a little bit with the people around us, there were some fellow modders, everyone was wearing some kind of merch, there were lots of fantastic cosplayers, too! Miles Tost, CDPR level design, was there and briefly talked to us all waiting patiently. Then we were informed that sadly there would be a little bit of a delay. I think at around 6.30 or so the queue finally started moving and at around 7 my sibling and I were inside the venue :D The reason of the delay is and was unclear, we learned later though that the guy responsible for the organization had set up something like this for the first time iirc, and therefore I’ll happily forgive the slight delay. Overall, the night was fantastic and I sure as hell couldn’t have done it better!

After checking our IDs, the lovely people by the entrance handed us our numbered tickets! One of the staff then asked us if we’d already played Phantom Liberty at Gamescom, which we hadn’t, so we also received one of those yellow plastic throwaway bracelets. Those who had already played it got a red one. The reasoning here was that they only had a small play area upstairs, so not everyone would be getting a chance to play the demo of the game, and people who hadn’t seen it yet would be preferred, to keep things fair. During the night some people with yellow bracelets would then be randomly approached by a member of the team and invited upstairs with a “mystery ticket”. I sadly didn’t get to play the game myself, neither my sibling, but we still got to see the gameplay anyway :3 We’ll get to that in a minute.

Img: Mine and my sibling's tickets, front and backside respectively; the bottom text on the backside says "be careful not to damage this section as you may still need it over the course of the night!", both tickets feature prominent circuit board and barcode designs

CDPR also invited us to free drinks with little tokens, and there was a broad selection of non-alcoholic and alcoholic beverages at a small bar! I would’ve loved for there to be something like a Johnny Silverhand or Jackie Welles to order, but I guess it wasn’t the Afterlife after all. Still though, free drinks, even if generic, pretty cool :D

Activities within the Venue

While we were queuing outside still, we’d also heard about various activities that had been offered at the Warsaw station of the tour, and those were different from what we could do in Cologne!

After receiving our tickets and everything we were free to explore the location for a bit, as the actual show wouldn’t start until 8pm (originally 7 pm but well… delays :D).

There was the main floor with a big, convention center style setup with rows of chairs and some bar tables. There was the huge screen, the bar, and a really cool netrunner chair for taking pictures that the cosplayers rightfully loved :D On the left side were also a small Xbox play area where you could test out some Xbox game pass games XD The event had tons of sponsors contributing something cool.

Img: The main area of the venue right before the show begins, an industrial-style interior with bright red and white lights, and many people looking at a big screen at the wall featuring Johnny and a welcome text in German and English respectively

Next door was a little secluded area for a podcast to be recorded later during the night, as well as a booth where visitors could record video messages for the devs (I missed my chance here and that’s what I regret most about not doing during that night ;A; but I think/hope a lot of others present seized the opportunity to send some love to Poland for this amazing game and team <3).

Img: A small square room with four high-end gaming PC stations sponsored by NVIDIA; the screens are currently showing the main menu screen of Cyberpunk 2077 - can I just take one of these home with me please?

Then there was the upstairs area with the gaming corner, as well as another little recording studio set up by an independent German filmmaker team who were documenting the development of Phantom Liberty! We could’ve also contributed to that, if we had wished to, but I preferred to stay behind the camera this time around xD Looking forward to watching the documentary though once it’s out!

Img: a Netrunner chair replica surrounded by screens and gadgets

There was also an outdoors courtyard area serving as a chillout zone with food (vegetarian options available) and a really cool live medieval folk band playing songs from the Witcher OST :D The various walls on the inside were decorated with photos showcasing German cosplayers and works of fan artists, and those of them who were there that night were allowed to take their photos home as a little extra special keepsake!

Community Love

The community love was so, so real and despite being comparatively new to the game and fandom still I felt super at home and comfortable and welcome. Kind of like, “I’m in the right place”, if that makes sense XD

Speaking of community… while we were still outside in the queue my sibling pointed out to me that there was a Kerry cosplayer in the line behind us, and lemme tell you, I was fucking hyped and made it my mission to greet them over the course of the evening xD I’ve been to a few smaller, less gaming-focused cons this year and there were few Cyberpunk cosplayers, no Kerry so far, so this was my chance!

Turns out, the Kerry in question was none other than fantastic @ophani (you can follow her on Instagram as well and check out what she’s working on atm!) who had been one of the first Cyberpunk people I’d ever followed on tumblr after becoming more involved in the fandom xD So yeah, the fanboy moment was even more real once I’d realized that. Also, there with her, amongst others, was @korribancosplay (also on Instagram!! Go check out his fantastic work <3) who actually recognized me first for being there looking sorta like Vince. He recognized that specific V with that hair and tattoos from my art xD I was like whaaaah! Honestly, that was my highlight of the night hands down in regards to meeting fellow fans :D Again, big shoutout to you two for the lovely conversation and everything, we’ll definitely stay in touch, and I hope I can venture over to NRW again in the future to meet up! xD

Img: Left, ophani as Kerry Eurodyne in his 2023 appearance <3, right, korribancosplay as Goro Takemura - I wish I'd brought a proper camera, blurry phone pics that I tried to somehow save through editing ftw :D

There were a lot of other amazing cosplayers, accompanying the two mentioned, and others as well that I didn’t all get to talk to but yeah… it was amazing seeing them all regardless and the love everyone poured into their costumes! Really got me hyped about getting back into cosplaying as well!

Let the Show Begin

But then it was finally 8pm and everyone gathered in the main showcase area.

None other than male V’s German VA Björn Schalla opened the show with a little speech (“I guess I don’t have to say who’s speaking right now”). That already sealed the deal for me in terms of “okay yeah, CDPR not playing games (figuratively), this is gonna be an amazing night if literal fucking Voice-of-V is here as a special guest”.

Then the German community managers joined for a little introduction and walkthrough of the schedule, as well as all the devs and CDPR team members present for the night came on stage to kick off the event officially with a big selfie. Shame on me for not really knowing who exactly everyone was, I’m too new and not as well versed in the who-is-who yet, but there were some very big names that people got super excited about so o.o

Img: Left, Björn Schalla aka German voice of male V, giving a little introduction speech reading out loud some randomly picked names from the guest list; right, the CDPR team and devs at the venue on stage together

Pretty much immediately afterwards, Miles Tost came back on stage, and we got to experience about an hour of gameplay of Phantom Liberty! If you don’t want spoilers for the expansion, skip the next section until the “Spoilers end here” line! I will try not to take too much away, but I want to give an honest and thorough review of what I’ve seen!

SPOILERS START HERE

The Game Showcase – Public Demo

The way this worked was, Miles stood on the front stage and narrated through the gameplay shown on the big screen, while the German community manager (iirc) Ryan played the game following a predetermined route I assume. He very strictly showed specific features, locations, and took a few very specific dialogue choices, always omitting the blue optional ones and just going with one of the generic yellow ones. The V in the demo was a male corpo, and Ryan never chose any of the plentily available Corpo dialogue options (and I’m very thankful for that, so we as players get to explore those ourselves somewhere further down the line :3).

Miles mentioned that the build shown to us was around three months old, and the first half hour of the game we saw revolved around Songbird guiding V through Dogtown prior to Myers’ plane crashing. They showed some minor NPCs running shops, the new Ripperdoc interface, and so on and so forth. I liked the new Ripperdoc animation but would’ve loved it to be even more expansive than it was in that build XD It was more a “sits down, selects cyberware to buy, then sits back up again after a short black screen, wiggles briefly then ventures forth” moment. Not comparable to the first scene with Viktor, when V gets their optics installed in the main game, but it still adds a little immersion!

V was also wearing very funky purple tights (the same level of tightness as a netrunner suit, but textured sort of like crocodile leather? I have a mighty need for them), and very sporty white sneakers that I also didn’t recognize from the main game. Everyone in the room very much loved his extravagant fashion sense XDD

So far so good, V walks through Dogtown a bit more and has some fun banter with Songbird who is not there physically, but also not quite on the phone… Then the president crashes into Dogtown kind of how it was shown in one of the trailers, and V has to go and save her, obviously, fighting Kurt Hansens forces! Up until this point of getting to and saving Myers from the wreckage was part of the publicly available demo that could also be tested at Gamescom and that I think was also showcased in recent dev streams.

The Game Showcase – Extended Demo

BUT THEN we got to a screen that said “extended demo unlocked” and got to experience some more, so far unseen content!

There was a bit of a time skip, V now traveling with President Myers and trying to get her to safety. Then we quickly got to a scene I had been kind of anxious about: V having to take an oath to become a special agent working for the NUSA. Thankfully though: you didn’t actually have to take the oath as shown in the trailer, and I was relieved, because being forced to do that that would’ve ended the expansion for my V then and there XD You still get to work for Myers though, and then V actually ventured out to find Solomon Reed! :O

We got to see quite a bit more of Dogtown, which is much bigger than I had assumed o.o Like, big buildings, proper streets, etc. etc. - not massive, but also not small! It seemed to sort of seamlessly blend into Pacifica, maybe… But in the showcase we didn’t venture far enough to the limits of the area to really be able to tell how exactly it is integrated into the world. Also, no visuals on the new Badlands areas or anything beyond this little story mission, but I think for a showcase like this that would’ve been too much! Mr. Hands called about a gig though that he maybe shouldn’t have, interrupting Miles' speech a little XD I don’t recall the exact details, but it sounded like a "SOS: Merc needed" type gig. I’m super excited about that, too, there's tons to do in this area!

They also showed the new phone interface, as well as the completely reworked skill trees, which is something @darcidarlin asked me about!

For the phone interface I’m so so thankful! It was so much bigger and organized, much easier to handle and read.

About the skill trees I’m super torn in a way… they’re different and simpler now, but sometimes simpler isn’t necessarily better imo. I’m used to my current build and skills, I like the attributes, and I don’t really see yet how my old playstyle is gonna translate into this new version. Basically, what they did (or at least how it seemed to me) was replace the attributes with "Skills". There is a "Relic" skill, an "Edgerunner" skill, and so forth, at least I saw nothing labelled "Cool", "Strength", "Tech" in the way I'm used to, but the glimpse we got was too short and superficial to really get a good idea of the new menu layout and contents.

The combat they showcased looked very fun, but it was all very centered around hands-on fighting, guns, swords, heavy cyberware. They showed very little stealth and no hacking/tech, and me being a predominantly stealth/hacking/tech player I was a bit “meh” and beginning to wonder if I’ll still have fun with what’s to come in the same way I do now. They kinda quickly flicked through the skill trees and I almost had the impression they completely remodelled Tech into a Cyberware skillset now, with armor fully tied to cyberware as well… I really don’t know XD Right now I can do a tech-heavy build without getting chromed up to my teeth, and I’d like to keep it that way… But I’m not sure if it’ll still work out like this in 2.0. Not much info on Cyberpsychosis either, only that again, with Tech perks, you can increase your threshold in terms of how much chrome V can stuff into their body before suffering an "overload". My low-on-chrome but otherwise tech-loving V is crying a little bit about this change XD

But yeah, this build was 3 months old. And my impression of the skills way waaaay to brief, so it's likely I'm getting upset about nothing XD Specifically for getting a closer look at combat and skills I would’ve needed to test the game out myself, so take everything about this with a big grain of salt!

Next up Ryan made a savegame and they showed the reworked police system a bit. Calling his vehicle in the middle of Dogtown was hilariously difficult, as it kept glitching and crashing into some parked cars the AI just didn’t seem to recognize, always ending up lying on its roof xD Miles joked “Oh no, some glitches just persist no matter what we do… but I bet your car can’t do this!”

Once Ryan had finally managed to get into his car though he started shooting. When you commit crimes in Dogtown, the NCPD will actually not come after your ass, but instead Kurt Hansen’s Barghest, which is neat! They are similarly equipped and will put up a bit of a fight for sure. There is now basically a 5-star system like I know it from GTA, and as soon as you reach 5, MaxTac will show up and whoop your ass. And man, they did not mess around XD MaxTac is not unbeatable, V put up quite the fight and managed to take down a couple of them, but in the end he got overwhelmed and taken down xD It did take a considerable amount of effort and destruction and killing though to even get to five stars, so much so that both Miles and Ryan were getting a bit desperate about it taking so long. So yeah, you really kinda have to put some actual effort into even getting MaxTac’s attention was my impression, and I do like that a lot to keep it balanced!

After this little demonstration of the police system, V went on to find Solomon Reed and damn, the first encounter with him is so fucking cool… I will not spoiler it here, because yeah. Wait and see! I really loved it, Spy-Thriller vibes over 9000, they definitely hit the mark on that XD

There is also so so so so much lovely new banter with Johnny. He was very present throughout this second part of the demo and had a lot to say on his past as a soldier, which I was really hoping for!! So, I’m definitely looking forward to seeing how deep it’s gonna get and even more so how it’s gonna end o.o

So much though to the gameplay I saw and my impression on it! There are more details I can share on request, so hmu via DM or ask if you wanna know more! There definitely were a lot of little choices in dialogues, and there seem to be a lot of choices that you can mess up that then have consequences, too :o High risk, high reward vibes, fitting for the high stakes this story seems to have.

One other random sidenote: the music is insanely beautiful o.o There was a new sort of action-packed background track for finding President Myers in Dogtown. And at the end of the demo there was another new song playing that was sort of… “dreamy, but in a dreadful way” sounding? A female vocalist, no actual lyrics, electronic music with similar vibes to the “V” main menu song, but quieter and calmer and sadder. My sibling found it annoying after a while XD But I really enjoyed it, and I kind feel like it could’ve been Songbird’s theme!

I got a question by @cheapcheapfaker about updated character models and animations that kinda fit into this section of the post! So… sadly I cannot answer it for sure because we only got to see the expansion characters and never ventured out of Dogtown (and I didn’t get to play the game myself to test out if it would’ve been possible to go and meet somebody else). What I can say is, I personally didn’t notice much of an update of Johnny’s appearance or facial animations at all actually. I know others did in regard to the same build of the game I got to see. There was no opportunity to ask, and a lot of questions that went sort of deeper into the territory of technical or story stuff, Miles wasn’t allowed to answer at that point. I think they played the game on the highest graphics settings, too, with path tracing on, which was also was something I’m not used to seeing with my rig. Johnny looked somewhat different to me actually, but not in an improved or updated way, more in a higher/different settings way.

What was confirmed during the Q&A though that followed on a different topic later (I made a post about it here already), was that they did go back and fix some voice lines in the main game that turned out weird in the German dub. And I read somewhere else before that “no system was untouched” for making Update 2.0, so maybe the other characters also received some minor updates and final polish. But nothing concrete sadly that was said or came up during my experience of the evening!

SPOILERS END HERE

Meet and Greet with German V

After the showcase of the game was over and some people had received mystery tickets to test Phantom Liberty on their own time, the crowd dispersed across the venue for a variety of activities. I tried to get into the “leave a message to the devs” booth, but it was occupied quite permanently, so I went back and then sat and waited for the Q&A, because that was super-duper down my alley, and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it. In the podcast room next door some devs had come together to talk a bit more about the expansion as such, too, including Miles.

I had to gather all the fucking courage in my body, and I think being sorta sleep deprived and pumped full of adrenaline helped, but before the Q&A started, I went up to Björn to ask for an autograph and we very briefly talked. I got to tell him that I loved the way he played V so so much, lol XD I wasn’t very coherent, but he was very kind and funny, super chill guy!

Img: My ticket now signed "Für Elven, von 'V'" and Björn Schalla's autograph - need to get a fancy frame for it asap xD

I’m so glad that after the Q&A, of which you can find the detailed content in this separate post I made already, I went up again to get a pic done with him and Localization Director Mikolaj! :D So yes, this was definitely my personal highlight of the evening’s program, maybe even more so than seeing the new exclusive gameplay!

Img: Left, the Q&A with Björn and Mikolaj, right, Mikolaj and me and Björn XD

Raffle and Goodies

Towards the end of the night the live band that had been playing outside joined us in the main room (because, of course, the neighbors had complained about the noise… the peak Germany experience, the organizers got threatened with “we’re gonna call the cops if you continue playing music outside after 10 pm” x’D). But like this those of us who had been mostly inside watching the show at this point also got to experience the music a bit, which was very nice!

We were getting close to the end of the night already, and then people with goodie bags started walking in from all corners :O So I ventured forth once more to score one, but I think there definitely was enough for all, and at the end of this post I’m gonna show you what was inside :3

Img: Me holding my roughly letter-format sized Cyberpunk 2077 Phantom Liberty paper goodie bag :3

The last item on the agenda was called “Quiz and Raffle”, due to the delayed start of the night though they decided to skip the quiz, or rather, do a quick run of some of the questions they had prepared. It was all something like “What was the name of the character that X called to take over his shift?” or “What was the sign above the location V had to go to during X section of the gig?”, so nothing super hard. You just had to pay a little bit of attention during the game showcase. But yeah, the quiz was skipped and instead the raffle prizes were handed out a bit more freely and damn… there was a lot o.o Displate had gifted a super limited edition illuminated poster, as well as several of their tarot card metal posters. There were gaming keyboards, custom Cyberpunk themed PC cases, some leftovers from the Gear store, figurines, and so on and so forth. Some of the bigger prices were given out via random number generator, where our individual ticket numbers were important again, others were just handed out a bit more freely.

Ryan: “Damn, I have so many gaming mice left, what am I gonna do now…” Random Audience member: “Can I have one?” Ryan: “Sure! :D” *hands them a mouse*

Img: Ryan and Carolin of the German Community Management team at the end of the event with some closing words on stage

This part of the night was honestly just very lighthearted and funny, and I really felt entertained from start to finish XD There were no boring moments or situations where I was like “urgh, I wish we could just continue now” because even during the breaks I talked to people or was still recovering from a previous encounter or experience XD

The End of the Event

The event then ended pretty much on time a short while after midnight, some people had left a bit early to catch their trains, some lingered a little while longer. Lemme tell you, I didn’t wanna leave, I just wanted to move in and live with all these people forever in an amazing little Cyberpunk bubble. But I was also running on like 3 hours of sleep at that point, was extremely overwhelmed with so many positive experiences and impressions, and so we then left after taking some final snaps here and there and walking through the venue once more.

Img: The exit of the venue late at night with the Phantom Liberty Tour Banner now glowing

10/10 would go again, it was a blast, and I wouldn’t have minded for it to go on another six hours xD Not that I managed to sleep much anyway that night, because my brain was still going BRRR from all the impressions and conversations and encounters (still is to a degree right now, but I’m slowly getting calmer again xDD)

The Goodie Bag

Finally back at the hotel I got a proper look at the goodie bag!! All of this was also included in us just *being* there, like, whaaat...

Img: an overview of a variety of items featured in the goodie bag!

The goodies everyone got: a t-shirt with the Barghest logo in front and the Phantom Liberty Tour locations on the back. It was available in a lot of different sizes that you could ask for quite easily, and I hope there was one available for everyone and every body!

Img: A bright red, VERY WRINKLED t-shirt with a graffiti-style Barghest logo on its front in orange, and a white and orange print with the Phantom Liberty Tour locations on the back

The shirt is 100% cotton and made in Poland, but it smelled really really bad, coming out of a plastic bag XDD Not gonna put that on before it goes through the wash. But the quality seems very decent, and the color and print are really nice ;A; Could wear this casually under a shirt or zipper hoodie without anyone even being able to tell it’s gaming merch, and I love me a versatile piece like that!!

Then there was a Phantom Liberty themed sticker sheet with a nice rainbow holo effect :3 Some factions, some people and places, some more generic stickers. It’s very pretty and I think I might actually just frame it together with my signed ticket XD

Img: A holographic Phantom Liberty themed sticker sheet including faction and Night City logos amongst others

What I really really really loved though were these two Cologne-unique pieces: another sticker and a patch :O These seem to be 100% exclusives to the Cologne event, and I figure you can get something similar at the other events as well! Will treasure these like hell <3

Img: A blue and orange fabric patch and a holographic black and white sticker showing the same design: Phantom Tour Cologne below a stylized moth

And finally, everyone got a little mystery bag within their mystery bag, containing one of 6 keyboard cap thingies (don’t even know wtf they’re called but they’re cute XD). They were modelled after the various ingame factions, even including Barghest I believe! :O You can swap them out with any key on a mechanical gaming keyboard. I got Maelstrom, my sibling had the Mox :D So you could’ve definitely swapped with someone else for your fave faction, but I was actually quite pleased with Maelstrom :3

Img: Two small keyboard key replacer thingies... I don't know what to call them. One is red, featuring the head of a maelstromer on top, the other is blue, featuring the pink skull-head with bob haircut and bow of the Mox

So yes… that was my Phantom Liberty Tour experience! I apologize for the insanely long post, but I do hope you enjoyed reading it!

I tried to keep it somewhat concise and coherent and could definitely go more into detail about the gameplay elements we saw, the venue, the people there, and so on and so forth. So, don’t hesitate to hit me up with your questions :D And obviously, thanks so much for reading to the very end <3

#cyberpunk 2077 #cp2077 #cyberpunk phantom liberty #phantom liberty #phantom liberty tour #phantom liberty spoilers #elven attends phantom liberty tour posting

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payidaresque · 2 years

Note

Ramo fans also joined Damlas fans into piling on the hate on both the show and Simay & Murat. They literally created fangroups/chats on twitter whilst Aziz was on as they always managed to coordinate the timing of their hate comments together (make sure their hate tweets became more popular). This was further proved when someone posted a screenshot of the fanclubs name (it was something along the name - Lets celebrate the ending of Aziz) when @Aziz posted that the series had ended. Its literally the most unhinged behaviour.

It's honestly the only reason why I'm glad the show ended because the sickening amount of hate was vile to read.

I didn't watch Ramo live but I have some mutual friends on twitter who did and they told me some things over the past year (ill number them for you below as its easier for me):

1) A lot of fans who watched both Ramo & Aziz also noticed Murat seemed to be much happier and comfortable shooting Aziz. They would just comment saying he was glowing and much more relaxed etc. It was so obvious Ramo fans were annoyed with that behaviour as it seems like he wasnt like this during the production of Ramo. However, Ramo did have much more drama/ offscreen rumours so its understandable if this affected his behaviour.

2) There's a lot more behind the scenes stuff with Simay and Murat (pictures and videos) and ramo fans were annoyed because they didn't get the same content with him and his previous Co star. They would literally post dumb stuff about Murat being forced into smiling or fake laughing which is the most disturbing thing I've read.

I think this has a lot to do with horrific affair rumours with him and his previous Co star so its obvious he just was going to be much more comfortable on his new show and around Simay etc.

He also wished Simay a happy birthday post on instagram and said how lucky he was to have her which further proved my point that they did genuinely enjoy working together. Murat hasn't ever wished a co star happy birthday so it just shows you how content he was working with Simay 😀

3) it annoyed both fanclubs that simay was getting incredible love for her performance of Efnan. Both Murats and Damlas fans made several remarks of how Simay wasn't talented enough (before the show was aired) and how she didn't deserve to work with a talented actor like Murat 😒. They were comparing Damlas career success with Simays and how Damlas deserved to be the lead. Literally pulling out Damlas career roles and pointing out why Damla should be the main focus. They literally did lose their minds. However, God really made them spit out their words because SIMAYS was the ONLY one whose acting was consistently praised 😆 😂 🤣 Literally so funny to see how Damlas acting was not once praised by anyone (no offense to Damla but like you can't deny facts).

Ramo fans have literally sat on their high horse all year and believe Murats chemistry with Esra bilgic was impossible to beat. They literally don't want Murat to work with anyone else and have camped under his Instagram/twitter begging for season 3 of Ramo. I really don't have any words to explain to you this type of obsession.

Anyway unfortunately this kind of behaviour needs to be psychologically studied as its so bizarre to me.

sending you all my love 💓

“Let’s celebrate the cancellation of Aziz” my ass… fuck you. Literally fuck you all. So much. Assholes.

I think i just cried a bit 😭 I had a BLAST reading that, thank you so much for sending all of this to me!! 💜 All these pics and videos i've seen and posted... they were glowing. All the smiles and laughs and the energy, and how Murat was speaking of Simay... I KNEW you can't fake something like that! It's so warming to know that the cast of your favorite show actually got along so well, give me a moment pls 😭😭😭😭

But also cringed a bit because... wtf?? Dayum, they had very much free time if they were able to do all of that shit because i mean, are they for real 💀💀💀 get pissed over the fact that Murat wished Simay a happy birthday??? I think i just peed myself from laughing, thank you. What are you, 13 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

In all seriousness, this is kind of sad, because i watched Ramo til the end and actually liked Esra very much (she has way more talent than Damla has, i can assure you of that 💀💀💀), and actually liked the plot until like mid-season 2, and reading all of that is... ouch. I guess that's pretty common for every actor in the industry to have "an affair" with their partner, i mean: 1) Murat's very handsome (i think we can all agree on that 💀 the same applies for Esra); 2) people like gossips (to a vulgar amount actually and it makes me sick); 3) when they get bored, they make up stupid shit + the plot of the show, so it's totally understandable why Murat was worried and uncomfortable during the shooting, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was annoyed even, (and i'm sure Esra was too, no less than he was) and all these horrible and unnecessary comments, rude assumptions??? Didn't make it any better. Jesus have some modesty please. People really need to stop treating other people like Barbies & Kens, that's very creepy, and disrespectful, thank you. And i think if you really consider yourself someone's fan, you would never allow yourself to do any of this disturbing shit public or private, out of respect for that person and his talent, and these people? they're not fans — they're obsessive creeps without a life who should never be allowed to use any social media for their entire lives Go outside, take a walk, be useful to society, but DON'T EVER come near a computer again. This shit is super unhealthy. I'm actually kinda intrested in what Esra's fans thought about all that drama, lolz 💀💀💀 And asking Murat for a s3.. yeah right, like he's the one in charge of that, and not just an actor who was hired to do a job 💀💀💀 be my guest, lolz 💀 That's actually embarrassing :/

You know, that's actually kind of funny, because i'm also recalling a BTS video from the shooting of Aziz, i think it was Murat's birthday, and it seemed to me that Damla & Iman are actually friends?????? So that's very funny when people are putting effort into doing all of this nasty and unhealthy stuff i mean, what kind of world do you actually live in, do you really have no respect for yourself and for the people you’re supposedly “admire”, aren’t you capable of doing anything better?

If you wanna talk or if you have any more stories to tell, no matter, my ask is always open 💜

#answered #aziz #aziz whining

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stanzoeywade · 4 years

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Poppy x MC Tinder AU

Summary: based off that one tumblr post about a girl who never experienced an orgasm and their friend hooks them up with their lesbian friend. aka, the au that no one asked for.

in which Veronica and Chloe find out that Poppy's never experienced an orgasm and they decide to help her out by creating a tinder account for her, cue MC finding her account and shenanigans happen.

Warnings: swear words maybe some smut but nothing too graphic. (OWO)

If anyone wants to be added to taglist please reply. As always these are only my headcanons so enjoy my take on that tinder au anon asked @somewillwin about. Your brain anon omg.

Taglist: @somewillwin @belvoiresqueenbee @origmansello @clownery-is-a-new-personality @kamilahtrash @poppysminion @poppysimp @captain-hanadeleine @poppysmc @iiizdumb @uselesslesbianfr @scattered-to-the-winds @idiot-justidiot @toyhenoctus

First of all this discussion happens one night where Poppy, Chloe and Veronica get their asses drunk at a frat party. Believe or not the top 3 girls of Belvoire actually care about each other, they just have a really weird way of showing it.

A heart to heart talk starts and the three of them start to confess things that they would never talk about when sober. Cue Poppy saying "I've never experienced an orgasm in my whole life."

Chloe and Veronica just look at Poppy shocked and their jaws drop. Veronica just looks at Poppy with a weird look of pity, whilst Chloe just stares.

After realising what she said Poppy quickly sobers up and clams her mouth shut. "What do you mean you've never had an orgasm before?!" Veronica all but yells. "Gee V, couldn't you have said that any louder, I don't think the whole school heard you." Poppy replies sarcastically.

Veronica just rolls her eyes and says "Girl, you're not getting out of this convo that easily. Now spill the tea sis." Chloe and Veronica look at Poppy expectantly, waiting for her to elaborate. Poppy just sighs and looks away cheeks flushed, as if embarrassed.

The two don't stop pestering her, so Poppy has no choice but to raise her hands in mock surrender. "Fine, I'll tell you" she says as her eyes narrow dangerously. "But if you tell anyone about this, I will actually erase the both of you from planet earth."

Poppy begins to explain that none of her exes made her feel good, and that whenever she had sex with any of them she always had to fake it, so much so that she's started to find sex boring.

Veronica and Chloe share a look and nod at each other. The both of them say "We're gonna set up a tinder account for you to find a good lay (basically the british version of saying good fuck), because that's just pretty fucking sad. Why didn't you tell us sooner, like bruhhh??."

Poppy just looks away and says "Its not like I can just go up to you guys and say 'I've never orgasmed before'". The two just nod their head in understanding before taking Poppy's phone and installing tinder.

They spend some time taking and choosing the best photos for Poppy to use on her tinder profile. (If anyone has seen Euphoria, you know that scene where Rue helps Jules take nudes, it's like that but PG-13) Considering that the three of them were pretty drunk, it was surprising to see how well it turned out.

Feeling sleepy, both Veronica and Chloe retreat back to their room, and Poppy just feels so tired that she falls asleep as soon as the other girls leave.

Waking up the next morning Poppy wakes up to the sound of her phone beeping numerous times and annoyed by the constant ping, she picks it up to see that almost all the notifications were from tinder.

Poppy is confused because wtf? When did she download tinder??? And then it hits her like a truck, 'Oh shit, we were all drunk as fuck last night, I thought that was some bizarre lucid dream but I actually have a tinder account. Fuck.' - she thinks to herself, embarrassed that Veronica and Chloe know her secret.

She sees a few messages from the group chat. Veronica sent her a message. "Poppy, istg if you delete tinder after all the time we spent making your profile look cute, I will post the ugliest picture I have of you on my insta." it reads. What surprised her is that Chloe actually backs Veronica up by saying "Yeah Poppy, it took our three collective brain cells to curate that account so you better use it."

Poppy giggles a little amused by her friends' reaction and she messages them back by saying "Fine, but if it doesn't work out you guys have to pay for my next shopping spree." Chloe and Veronica just agrees albeit unwillingly, but they know not to argue back.

Poppy decides to check the messages and matches that she got on tinder, disappointed but not surprised, most messages say "Send nudes" or a nude pic is attached to their messages. Poppy just rolls her eyes as she immediately unmatches them.

You were looking on tinder for your latest hook-up with no strings attached because ewww commitment and no one really caught your eye, except Poppy. Imagine your surprise when you find Poppy's profile on tinder, deciding that it was a troll account you decide to message them saying "Wow, of all the people you could choose to pretend to be, you choose the HBIC of Belvoire. Stop trying to catfish people, that's just shitty."

Poppy shocked at the sudden message that she gets from you scoffs and replies back "I'm not pretending to be anyone, Farmsville, in case you didn't know even I'm allowed to use tinder."

You just roll your eyes and text back "If you really are Poppy Min-Sinclair, prove it. I might hate Poppy's guts but trying to ruin her reputation by doing shit like this isn't funny."

This catches Poppy's attention, and suddenly she's curious. 'Why would she even stand up for me?' she can't help but wonder.

Poppy screenshots your conversation and sends it to Chloe and Veronica who have vastly different reactions. Veronica's response compiles of this emoji 👀, and the words "Farmsville likes girls, we been knew." and Chloe's response is more of a "WTF, I thought she was dating that Zoey girl."

The girls tell her that it would be fun to mess with you, and they tell her that she should prove that the profile is hers. Veronica also messages her privately saying "girl, her bio legit says 'not looking for commitment' this is like your chance to sleep with her and if you don't, I will." Poppy just grunts in annoyance and decides that fine, she supposed that you were attractive enough for a hook-up.

When you don't get a reply within the next ten minutes you scoff and roll your eyes. 'Damn, people really stoop so low huh.' - you think to yourself. There's a slight disappointment that crosses your mind once the account stopped replying to your messages. You were kind of hoping that it was the real Poppy after all.

Against her better judgement (gay denial right here folks, you're the first to see it), she decides to take a selfie and sends it to you.

Right as you're about to unmatch to what most likely seems to be a fake account, you're surprised to see a message from Poppy's supposed account. It was a selfie of Poppy, where instead of her usual pink fur coat, she's wearing something casual, and to be fair it's a really nice mirror selfie. (This is what I imagine) (I still stand by my headcanon of Poppy looking like Chungha but I couldn't find a good photo lolol)

Doubting that it's really Poppy, you decide to check your socials to see if she's uploaded any new images, and so far you haven't found anything. However you're nothing if not stubborn. You ask if she could prove that she's real and not some weirdo.

Poppy just rolls her eyes annoyed that she's being questioned, as a last ditch effort to gain your trust she sends another selfie, which is a bit more revealing than the last and once you see it your brain stops functioning.

Regaining your composure, you message her saying "I thought you had a boyfriend? What the fuck?" The only response you get is a reaction gif of some girl rolling their eyes. Being the little shit you are you decide to annoy her by sending selfies back, each photo more provocative than the last.

Poppy amused by the photos decides to get you back and it becomes a game of one-upping each other to see who takes better thirst traps. This continues on for an entire week (It's such a stupid competion and both of you know but you're both competitive af so yeah.) until Poppy snaps and contacts you using her actual phone number instead of the app.

Poppy's already frustrated and she's annoyed because she can't stop thinking about you and your stupidly hot, gorgeous body - oh my god I'm going insane she thinks to herself. She decides enough is enough and messages you. "FUCK YOU FARMSVILLE! BACK DOWN ALREADY!"

You wouldn't be yourself if you didn't have a sassy comeback ready so you reply with "FUCK ME YOURSELF YOU COWARD!" sending her yet another thirst trap, this one more revealing than the others.

Poppy snaps when she sees the message and she's quick to make a reservation to her favourite hotel in NYC, because as if she'd be seen taking you to her room. She gets the biggest room because she's extra like that and she knows she deserves the best.

The only response you get is a pinned location on the map, aptly captioned, "Meet me here Farmsville and I'll make you eat your words."

Still feeling feisty you reply with "Is that a threat or is that a promise? 😘😜" and Poppy just tells you to hurry up.

This is a really stupid idea - you think to yourself. You can't help but be suspicious of Poppy wanting to meet up, after all she can use this information against you. However none of that matters to your lust riddled brain, considering the last hook-up you've had was with Professor Kingsley and that was quite some time ago and you're really horny for some action.

You quickly dress in your best underwear, and choose something fashionable yet casual to wear because let's face it even if you hate Poppy, you don't want to look like a loser if you're gonna hook up.

Once you get there, you quickly make your way to the designated room that Poppy told you to go to. Knocking on the door, you're lowkey expecting Belvoire students to berate you, but once the door opens all you can see is Poppy.

Poppy is dressed in nothing but her underwear as she pulls you into the room. Feeling a bit awkward, you decide to break the ice by saying "I lowkey expected this to be some weird plan where you embarass me in front of your clique."

Poppy just looks at you and she scoffs as she says "As much as I hate you Farmsville, even I wouldn't stoop that low. Plus it's a crime to share nudes without a person's permission." You just look at her in disbelief jaw dropping as you take all of her in. I mean if you thought she looked good in the photos, then damn seeing it in real life was a different experience entirely

She notices that you're staring and she just flashes you a smirk and says "See something you like?" and all you want to do is wipe the smirk off her perfect face.

Stepping closer to Poppy, you make the first move and kiss her roughly, each kiss longer than the last and you can feel your heart pound as your nervousness dissipates and all you can focus on is the smell of Poppy's perfume and how it drives you wild. As well as how soft her skin feels against your hands and it's enough to drive you over the edge.

Poppy pulls away and you follow after her, annoyed by the fact that the kisses stopped. You can hear her pant as she struggles to breathe.

As soon as Poppy catches her breath, she says "I'm starting to feel under dressed so let's fix that shall we?" She pulls you towards the bed and she strips your clothing off, and you can't help but stare because holy shit this is actually happening. You start to wonder if you're dreaming until you feel Poppy kiss you again, this time slower and softer and you can't help the wistful sigh that escapes your lips.

You decide to take the lead until you hear Poppy say something. "Wait a minute Farmsville." You stop and listen because no matter how sexually frustrated you might be at the moment, consent is always important.

You wait patiently for her to start talking and she says "Don't make fun of me, but I've never known what an orgasm feels like." You can tell that she's flustered by the way she looks away and refuses to make eye contact.

Your eyes soften up and you kiss her gently on the neck and whisper "I guess that's something we can improve after tonight, but if you feel uncomfortable at any moment in time just tell me to stop." Surprised that you even cared about how she felt Poppy just nods her head softly at you.

"I'm gonna start touching you, okay Poppy?" you say your voice gentle, as you hope that it soothes her nerves. "Just relax and let me do the work, alright, I promise I won't hurt you." Poppy just shoots you a shy smile and your heart pounds because fuck that's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen.

Kissing your way to her inner thighs, you can hear and feel her squirm against your touch. In order to keep her still, you place her hands on your hair and assure her that it's okay if she tugs on it. You place your hands on her hips to keep her steady as you tease and suck on her clit.

Poppy's small moans of contentment makes you want to do more, so you try extra hard because you want to hear more. You can feel Poppy's body begin to shudder and you can tell that she's close and spurred on by that you insert your fingers into her core and thrust until you can hear scream in pleasure.

You can't help but stare as her body starts to spasm and you let her grind so that she can climax again and it's the most erotic moment of your life.

Poppy feels her whole vision turn white for a moment and she feels euphoric once she realises that she came.

As soon as she regains her bearings, she turns to you, who looks very satisfied, and omg did she just see you lick her juices off your finger. That sends a wave of arousal straight to her core and she looks away embarrassed from being turned on again just a few seconds after coming.

You put your hand on her chin and turn her face towards you forcing her to make eye contact. "It's not over yet, Princess. I'm pretty sure that we can wriggle more of those out of you and the night is young." you say your voice dropping an octave.

By the time that you've finished, Poppy's mind has gone blank and she feels so tired that she doesn't think she can move. She's got to give you props though, because goddamn that was the first time she actually enjoyed sex and she actually got to cum too.

Noticing that Poppy's too tired to move, you decide to lift her up in a princess carry and surprised by your sudden action Poppy's about to protest until you just tell her to be quiet.

Placing Poppy in the bath tub, you turn on the faucet and makes sure that the water isn't too hot or cold as it fills up. After the bath has been filled you slip into the bathtub behind Poppy as you help her clean up.

'Okay now she's just being unfair, why is she being so nice.' Poppy thinks to herself. Trying to make conversation Poppy says "Why are you taking care of me, I half expected you to leave after we fucked." You rest you chin on her shoulder and say "I didn't want you to catch a cold, and besides what kind of a person would I be if I just left you on your own? I like to think of myself as a gentlewoman." You start to place soft kisses on her shoulders and Poppy just sighs wistfully, feeling at peace as she leans back against you. "Don't tell anyone but this was actually the most fun I've had. Hell I don't think any of my exes would have compared against you." Poppy says shyly.

You can't help the smile that creeps it's way to your face. "You can't say shit like that Poppy, I'm pretty sure you're gonna give me a heart attack if you act this soft." you say teasing lilt in your voice and you can hear Poppy giggle. It sounds so soft and you realise that it's a sound that you want to hear.

Your relationship as enemies with benefits start and the both of you can't really keep your hands off each other, God forbid if you're in the same room.

Intense stares from across the room that everyone assumes to be glares, but little do they know that it's your own way of communicating.

One day Poppy calls you up and tells you that you're going shopping, but in reality it was just an excuse to spend more time with you. On the way to the mall, you guys get frisky in the car and before you can stop yourself you say "Babe" and you can't help but think that you've fucked up.

Poppy doesn't say anything but she likes the new pet name and can't wait to hear you say it again.

You guys go to a high end designer store and one of the staff approaches you and says "You guys look good together." While you're quick to deny it, Poppy just thanks them, but as she hears you deny it her eyes widen and you can see her heart break in front of your eyes. Poppy runs off and you're confused.

The employee looks at you and says "I probably shouldn't say anything else today but you should go after her. It's obvious that you both like each other."

Searching the mall, you're relieved once you see Poppy sitting down on a bench, and you approach her carefully. You see that her eyes are red and you feel shitty because you're the reason why she's crying.

Poppy notices you and she's about to run off again until you catch her wrist in your hand. "Poppy please look at me." you plead and she doesn't budge as she tries to get away from your grip.

Seeing that she can't outrun you considering you're holding onto her she just sighs and looks at you. Her face is covered in tears and you use your other hand to wipe them away.

"You know after you called me babe in the car, I was so happy because I thought that it meant that we were dating, but I guess I was just another girl for you to fuck." Poppy says and your heart breaks.

"I thought that you didn't like me that way, so I quickly denied that we were dating. I do like you Poppy, but you never made it clear that we were in a relationship. Though to be fair I should have tried to clear things up too. I guess we're both idiots huh?" You say as you hold her face between your hands.

Leaning in you capture Poppy's lips and she eagerly kisses you back, happy to resolve the misunderstanding.

Unbeknownst to the both of you a Belvoire student caught everything on camera and by the next day everyone on campus knows that you guys are dating.

No one dares to say anything because uhhh POWER COUPLE and they're highly scared of Poppy killing them lol.

Long story short Poppy sees your tinder account and you compete for better thirst traps and well you start fucking and it ends up with you two dating.

Well that was long, hope you guys enjoy, don't forget to like or reblog if you like it.

#playchoices #poppy min sinclair #queen b #poppy x mc #poppydailychallenge #choices #makepoppyali2020 #queen b poppy #choices stories you play #tinder au #veronica lombardi #chloe st. james #headcanons #choices fic #i hope y'all enjoy reading #these is just my take on the Poppy tinder au that anon asked @somewillwin #squint squint #veronica x mc but its one sided bc mc is only interested in poppy

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lightsandlostbells · 4 years

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wtFOCK season 3, episode 4 reaction

Kiss kiss fall in love? More like kiss kiss stay away from me.

I have to warn you. This is the episode where I lost it. I had to go back and edit so much unhappy capslock out of my notes.

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Het drama again

Zoë shows Milan a video of the shooting prank. Milan asks about romance on the trip, Robbe says there were too many people and too little privacy.

Senne and Zoë have tension because Zoë is pissed that Senne was partying? And that he was posting pictures of parties on IG when she wasn’t there? I mean … look, I’m never a William fan, but this seems like Zoë’s problem. If you can’t trust him to behave when you’re gone, you SHOULDN’T BE WITH HIM. And if you feel like you can trust him, this dude going to bars or whatever shouldn’t bother you. At least it seems to be portrayed as Zoë’s issues. Milan mentions that she’s jealous. He seems to like Senne, and I do find that dynamic cute so far.

I do appreciate that the Noorhelm drama this time is boring and not like “Senne was mad about how Zoë handled her sexual assault” levels of offensive.

That being said ... Robbe’s story. Where.

If you’ve been telling a very tight story so far, where Robbe’s personal journey has been steadily progressing clip by clip, then a clip like this wouldn’t be that bad. We absolutely have not been watching a tight story. Even with the next clip of Robbe doing some introspection, I’m like ... can we not make every scene count toward his story when there’s so much catching up to do? Ten seconds of Robbe looking vaguely troubled out of a two-minute clip that’s mainly about Zoë and Senne’s relationship does not count. A better writer would find some way to make Zoë/Senne parallel to Robbe/Sander, like how Noora talking about William and “if he loves you, he’ll choose you” in the first clip of episode 4 is relevant to Isak sitting there texting Even and Even choosing his plans with Sonja over Isak.

Clip 2 - Milan and Robbe talk gaydar

Robbe checking out Sander on Britt’s IG … finally, some cyberstalking. Did he take a screenshot of a pic of Sander? Lol.

Milan sits down and asks Robbe his opinion of a guy on Grindr, sexy or not? Robbe is lukewarm, giving neutral answers, Milan says he’s allowed to have an opinion on whether a guy is hot or not.

It feels SO WEIRD to have this clip so late, and I’m trying to like … recalibrate my brain so it’s not just because it’s later than usual. I don’t inherently hate if a remake changes up the order of clips. But the problem is that we’re now FOUR episodes in and it feels like Robbe’s sexuality crisis has just begun, I guess? Or rather, efficient storytelling would start out with this clear view of what Robbe’s issues are, rather than muddling into it a few episodes in.

Milan’s all, this guy says he’s not gay, but he likes to blow guys. This turns into a conversation about Milan’s gaydar and how to know if a guy is gay. In the original scene, the purpose of this conversation with Isak and Eskild was there as a way of Isak figuring out if Even was gay. That ... does not really fit this version, because this clip is so late in the season. Isak was getting Eskild’s wisdom right after meeting Even, when he had nothing but a BJ reference to go on. But Sander eyefucking Robbe while kissing Britt and leaning in to kiss Robbe should be pretty big clues to Robbe that Sander likes men, no? And that he likes Robbe specifically. Yeah, Robbe might be doubtful because Sander is still with Britt, but nothing new has happened since the almost kiss to make Robbe doubt! It would make way more sense if they’d adapted the opening clip of OG season 4, with Even texting Isak that he had plans with Sonja, into the clip prior to this one. If Robbe had texted Sander an invitation to hang out, or even just a “hey, what’s up?” and Sander wrote back “plans with Britt” then it would be an understandable transition for Robbe to have some doubt about Sander’s sexuality in this clip, like hey, maybe he’s not actually into me, after all.

The scene might make sense if you think about Robbe listening and applying Milan’s words to himself. Thinking about how there’s “something trapped in them that desperately wants to come out.” Wondering if it’s obvious to other people that Robbe is gay. It still doesn’t quite work and I actually doubt that was their intention (I think it was all about how to detect if Sander is into guys) but I am searching for any scraps of Robbe introspection, so.

OK, at least they had Robbe immediately look up Grindr (I laughed that he searched “grinder”). Good! Sexuality conflict! Why is it so late! Although it was probably more about trying to find Sander rather than a personal move on Robbe’s part.

This is a very gay song, btw (I Like Boys by Todrick Hall).

Clip 3 - Robbe and Yasmina talk het drama

Aaron talks to Robbe about sitting close to his teacher to see her boobs and the teacher saying she knows why he’s sitting there. I highly suspect this is just a dream Aaron had, unless the teacher said it in a pissed off way. Throw his ass in the back row, big-breasted teacher!

Robbe meets up with Yasmina. Yasmina wants to know the dirt from the seaside, Robbe fills her in. Soooo are they good friends, or what? He tells her about Aaron and Amber and they laugh and stuff. I mean it’s cute and all but like … where is this coming from? Did they become great friends in the S2 that I didn’t watch?

And that’s the whole clip … again, I ask what was the point?

To establish that Robbe and Yasmina are friends? Way to undermine the development and importance of that relationship by basically cutting through the buildup and hard work to the payoff. Sana and Isak meant more to people BECAUSE they started off prickly and grew to like each other and respect each other via their actions and words, right? That their conversations were more interesting because of their opposing views and resulting friction? That the friction was extremely relevant to the religion discussion?

Was the point to talk about Aaron/Amber and how Amber supposedly isn’t interested? We don’t need Yasmina’s commentary on that at all since we could see how Amber herself reacted to Aaron. Like if Yasmina was all, yeah, Amber couldn’t stop talking about Aaron, she says she doesn’t like him but I think she does, then I guess I could see the relevance of this conversation since it’s “new” information ... but it’s just the same shit we already know. And again: why spend so much time on a SIDE HET ROMANCE during a gay character’s season? Two of out three clips in this episode so far have been about side het romances!

This clip was just not needed at all except to set up Robbe and Yasmina so the impending religion conversation feels mildly less like two characters who have barely spoken on screen suddenly have an intense and somewhat personal talk. Something they could have done in earlier episodes instead of the other repetitive, unnecessary clips they’ve done this season.

Clip 4 - Dance chicks

At Noor’s dance performance, Robbe’s pals are drooling over the performers (and honestly being rather inappropriate and distracting). At least they got Robbe’s lack of interest right. Even though they have established this FIFTEEN THOUSAND TIMES with the lack of interest in Noor, like this clip almost doesn’t feel necessary at this point! If they’d had it earlier in the season, sure, but now it feels redundant. Like we really super mega get it by now that Robbe’s not into the girls.

The instructor thanks the performers at the end and Robbe says that he was “so gay.” Hey, except you know what? THERE IS NO BUILDUP TO THIS MOMENT. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NONE. Except for the homophobic jokes from his friends in the previous seasons, but there’s nothing I can recall in this season. But more importantly, Isak’s similar comment was prompted by him taking the gay test in a preceding clip. Taking a quiz about generalizations of gay people, rooted in homophobia! Which Isak applies to the dance teacher! In order to distance himself from being gay! WE GOT NONE OF THAT HERE. For fuck’s sake.

There is no setup or reason why Robbe goes from being somewhat neutral about gay people with Milan asking him about the Grindr dude two clips ago - where Robbe is just kinda like, yeah OK, whatever, you think everyone’s gay, Milan (but he’s not overly grossed out or homophobic) - to this moment where he’s making a derogatory comment about a person he perceives as flamboyantly gay. This scene just happens because it did in OG. And the thing is, obviously you can attribute Robbe’s reasoning here to internalized homophobia. We know internalized homophobia exists and why he has it. But this is a scripted narrative, and any scripted narrative needs to have things happen for a reason rather than just because.

I remember complaining that Skam Italia had a bizarre take on this scene. But that’s nothing compared to the laziness on display here.

Jens is like WTF at Robbe’s “so gay” comment, it’s clear he’s not feeling it. I do like that Robbe gets defensive when Jens scoffs at him. They ask Robbe why he’s such a downer lately and if it’s because of his dad, or because of the Vlogs. Robbe blames the vlogs and yells and walks off, they’re confused.

Lol I just realized that I don’t think there was any followup to the prank from the seaside trip that had Robbe all pissed off. Nothing to show that the boys reconciled or that Robbe didn’t get over it right away.

I have a big problem with the way the boy squad is characterized so far, and it might be because they come across as more self-absorbed than other boy squads, as well as having a more superficial bond. I feel like so far they’re a rather cynical take on teenage boyhood. Again, not expecting them to be perfect or to be overly mature, but this show has to do a lot of work to make me believe they have the empathy or maturity to deal with Robbe’s situation kindly. (EDIT from the future: lol)

Clip 5 - Robbe and Yasmina talk religion

Oh shit, somehow I didn’t connect that dots that Aaron mentioning the teacher’s boobs would lead to THE boob teacher making an appearance! Unless there are multiple teachers with notable breasts at this school.

Another scene of Robbe not interested in breasts ... I mean, not to sound like a broken record, but this would have been good about three episodes ago.

The teacher is talking about religion and Darwininsm and creationism, which prompts Robbe to complain about how people still have religious beliefs in 2019.

Heavy fucking sigh. Have we gotten ANY religious moments from Robbe’s mom this season? Or from anyone else? Do the writers realize that Isak grilling Sana about religion was prompted by his OWN MOTHER’S religious beliefs and his fear of her judgment of his sexuality? No? Not surprised.

For real, Robbe just complains about religion out of nowhere … and like, obviously religious homophobia isn’t a rare thing, it exists. But it has not been established why Robbe in particular cares about the effects of religious homophobia, compared to say, the casual homophobia of his friends, or gay stereotypes, or gay bashing … we don’t know why religious homophobia has PERSONAL relevance in Robbe’s life. And yes, this is a concern for every gay person! But from a STORYTELLING perspective, there should be some focus as to what Robbe’s main fears are about being gay. Lack of acceptance from his peers? His family? Religion? Violence? Homophobic slurs?

I would say based on previous seasons, the most compelling basis for Robbe’s internalized homophobia would be the homophobic attitudes of his friend group. A revised take on the dance chicks scene might have been done with this in mind, but it wasn’t, and so it’s all just very muddled.

Anyway, Robbe goes on this tangent and asks Yasmina why she believes in God. The teacher voices what I thought and is like, why the fuck are you talking in class?

Again, there is NO BUILDUP to the involvement of religion at all. They have this shoehorned in friendship, I guess so he can ask her. He does bring up homosexuality at least, and how religion is so black and white.

Yasmina asks him what he believes. ONE THING they got right: they had Robbe challenge Yasmina on an intellectual level, and so Yasmina challenges him on an intellectual level right back. Because a lot of their dialogue is lifted right from OG, that’s why it works. LMAOOOO. Yasmina points out that homosexuality is an evolutionary “dead end” so therefore it can’t be genetic, so what is it? A disorder? A choice? I will also give some credit for her invoking the most anxiety-causing options to get under Robbe’s skin.

But the tone of their friendship does come across very different, because in the previous scene they seemed like good chums who had a rapport, and here it’s like Robbe lashed out at her for no reason, even less than Isak did with Sana, because Robbe just decided to torch his friendship with Yasmina out of the blue. I guess the answer is that Robbe is cranky so he decided to grill Yasmina over religion, but again, the fucking question is: why was he cranky? Two clips before this one they were on warm, friendly terms. In the last clip, he lashed out at his male friends, but that has nothing to do with religion. What the writers are asking us to do is basically just imagine all the stuff that’s happening in Robbe’s brain instead of doing their jobs and showing it to us. You don’t have to spoon feed us but you don’t also get to stick a few peas on a plate and wonder why we’re going hungry.

(REALLY. IT WAS NOT PROMPTED BY ANYTHING, NOT A TEXT FROM HIS MOM. WHICH IS WHY ISAK WAS UPSET AND LAUNCHED HIS INTERROGATION AT SANA.)

(CAUSE AND EFFECT, MOTHERFUCKER)

Clip 6 - Bowie playlist

Robbe is doing homework when Sander sends him a Bowie playlist. Robbe listens to Space Oddity and has a brief Moment. It’s very nice but wow, wouldn’t it be even better if Robbe fell for Sander listening to that? Say, in the last episode? Before they almost kissed? And before Robbe was suddenly declaring himself a Bowie expert to Noor?

Sander calls him, I like Robbe fixing his hair before he answers. It’s a video chat, gotta look his best! They have an actual conversation about Bowie and they flirt. Sander invites Robbe to the cafe later and Robbe is happy except then Britt is in the background and apparently she’s going with them, so it’s not a date after all, oh no. Robbe’s actor is good at subtly conveying his disappointment here.

Robbe hangs up and sticks his head against the bed (lol) and then goes back to Grindr. He immediately gets messages for horny sex and then gets rid of Grindr.

At first I was like, yay, this clip had a clear point and a sense of cause-and-effect, but now I’m like ... ehhhhh. Because the purpose of Robbe checking out Grindr is either A) so he can look for Sander or B) so he can check it out as a general way of exploring his sexuality (or both). The suggestion is that it has a lot to do with the former, because it was part of Milan’s advice as to how to find out if someone’s gay. But it’s a little weird here, because Robbe just saw that Britt was coming along to the cafe, so he should be discouraged about Sander. I mean, I think it’s still possible that he’s trying to figure out if Sander likes him because he’s getting mixed signals between the playlist and Britt, but it’s just a little off. And as for option B, I’m not sure why now of all times is the best time for that, like if you think about it, the sting of getting his hopes dashed should be the predominant emotion here, would he go straight to Grindr just to be like hmmm, maybe I’m into dudes?

And it bugs me because there is a super easy fix to this clip! Just have Sander send the Bowie playlist, Robbe listens to it, and as he’s daydreaming and smiling a bit, he gets out his phone and checks out Grindr, ready to search for Sander. But there are too many sex messages so he’s just like WTF and gets rid of it. Then Sander calls and they have this conversation that ends in Robbe being reminded that Britt is still in the picture. (Or he doesn’t need to get the sexy messages at all, I mean they’re kind of funny but I’m not sure they’re plot-necessary here.)

Noor texts him that they’ll meet up later. It’s not 100% clear but it sounds like she knew about meeting up with Sander and Britt, so that means Britt probably told her previously. Which is a little bit of different context from OG, because I was under the impression that Even asked Isak to hang out with them hoping that they’d be alone, and then somehow Sonja found out and made it into a group thing with Emma, making Even grumpy. With this it seems like it was planned as a group thing from the beginning, Britt knows they’re meeting up later.

Or wait, when Sander says he’ll give Robbe advice at the cafe later, does that mean Robbe already knows they’re meeting up? That would make sense because it’s what happened in OG (Even invited Isak in an earlier clip and then Isak found out Emma and Sonja were coming in a later one). They’re incorporating all kinds of OG elements in this episode so I wouldn’t be surprised. But I assumed that this was the invite because we didn’t see Sander talk to Robbe earlier this week? Shouldn’t we have seen that clip since it’s the first time they’ve interacted since they almost kissed? I checked the texts for this episode and I don’t see anything like Sander inviting Robbe, either? Did I just miss something? What is going on?

Clip 7 - Robbe is late to meet Noor

Later that day …. Robbe rides a bike. Very fast. The music is dramatic! This would not be out of place for an O Helga Natt scene

And yet it’s not OHN, it’s Noor? Noor seems annoyed. Because Robbe is late. OH NO THE TENSION WHATEVER WILL WE DO. WE CARE A TON ABOUT ROBBE AND NOOR.

Noor is super pissed at him and starts screaming and shoving at him. What the actual fuck? She complains that she thought he was dead or something and is mad he didn’t even send a message. She says fuck you and walks off. Robbe follows her on the bike.

I don’t know how popular this opinion is, but Noor did not come across as great here, like when I watched it I was baffled at her response. I say this as someone who is chronically early and also gets annoyed at lateness. She has every right to be annoyed that Robbe is late and that he didn’t message her to tell her he’d be late, and I get that there’s supposedly more to her reaction than just this one incident. But the screaming and especially the shoving at him is just WTF.

Also, she told him to meet him at 19:00, and the beginning of the clip is at 19:21 (I see what you did there) and Robbe arrives like a minute or two later. So he’s 20 minutes late, which is certainly annoying, especially because it’s dark and chilly outside, but IMO not a cause for “I thought you were dead or in an accident!” and the OTT reaction.

Clip 8 - Robbe and Noor fight

Sander and Britt are in the cafe, Robbe and Noor argue outside about him giving her mixed signals. Has ... he ...?

OK, I’d say I half-see her case, and I half-don’t. If Noor can somehow sense Robbe’s disinterest during their makeouts or lovey-dovey moments or w/e, then I can buy that. I think there are slight moments where he doesn’t seem into it. But Robbe has put so much more genuine effort into their relationship than Isak did. He hasn’t even turned Noor down for sex, really, they’ve just gotten interrupted every time, or she’s thrown up. He didn’t want to go to her dance performance except then he told her he would go approximately thirty seconds later. He went to her dance performance. He went to the seaside with her and kissed her and slept in the same bed with her. This is the first time he’s actually fucked up with her.

Noor sounds ridiculous right now. “Do you still love me?” Uhhhh what??? You’ve been dating for less than a month, really? Did he tell her he loved her at any point? I’m serious, is there some material I missed? Some nuance in the language that didn’t completely translate?

I get it, I’m watching insecure overdramatic teenagers! I’m just wondering if I’m supposed to be on Noor’s side here. They could have portrayed this less OTT and more fitting to Robbe’s actual offenses.

Anyway Robbe and Noor have a screaming fight in the street and he says he can’t breathe anymore because of her. I can buy that even if it’s dramatic because he’s feeling trapped by her due to his sexuality. She walks off, Sander and Britt come outside. Britt goes after Noor and hugs her, Sander sings Space Oddity to signify the crash and burn of Robbe/Noor. He has on a Pink Floyd shirt so at least his musical taste is more varied than Bowie.

Clip 9 - Robbe and Sander by themselves

Robbe and Sander drink alone at the bar, they don’t think the girls are coming back. Sander texts Britt and then tells Robbe they’re going to do something else. He shows him Britt’s text saying that Noor needs some time alone. I mean. this drastically changes the context of them going off together … it’s not because they want to be together, necessarily (although they do) but it’s by default now.

So they leave.

Yeah, I do not love what they did with this scene. It’s short and to the point but I want to point out a few things.

First, because again, there’s no need to break up most of these clips into such short, choppy scenes just because 15 or 20 minutes have passed in-universe. It might be exciting if you happen to be watching and following at the exact time these are being posted, but it also messed with the flow of the scenes and the build of emotions. Imagine if we cut off after Isak and Even left Emma and Sonja and then 10 minutes later we got them riding around on a bike. We’d missed that beautiful transition from the silent, empty room to Isak on the bike and then Head Over Heels kicking in. That’s one of my favorite moments in season 3 and it’s because of that transition. It’s because I was sitting there watching this uncomfortable scene and wishing Isak and Even could be alone and then they got to be alone and my stomach swooped! If you break up moments like those, there’s just not as much build. (Or imagine - horror of horrors - an O Helga Natt where Isak gets the text from Even and it cuts off after he runs out of the church and then resumes when he arrives at the school, so we don’t see his journey. You lose so much.)

Second, there is a curious lack of romantic/sexual tension in this scene. It’s there on Sander’s end, I think, or at least you can read it there due to his focus on Robbe and even some of his body language. Robbe, on the other hand, seems more upset that his girlfriend who he doesn’t even feel genuine attraction to has walked out on him rather than the fact that he is sitting next to the boy he’s crushing on, alone together, right before they share their first kiss later that evening. And it just makes me want to know why.

I don’t blame Robbe’s actor at all, because it’s the director’s job to tell him how to play the scene. But I rewatched this scene trying to be generous, and there is not a single shred of attraction or tension from Robbe toward Sander. He checks the cafe door when it opens, he asks Sander to text Britt, and when Sander suggests they leave, Robbe’s first instinct is to ask what if Noor comes back. He sits there moping into his beer the whole time. He doesn’t sneak looks at Sander. He doesn’t try to talk to Sander about anything except Noor and Britt. No banter, no discussion that’s focused on them, Robbe-and-Sander, you know, the main couple of this season (supposedly). It doesn’t even feel like he’s consciously trying not to look or interact with Sander because of the romantic tension. No, it genuinely feels like Robbe’s #1 thought right now is Noor. Does that make sense to you? It makes sense for him to be a little out of sorts due to the fight, but does it make sense that Robbe seems to have no perceptible reaction to being alone with the guy he likes? Does it make sense that they didn’t take this chance to throw in some romantic and sexual tension in order to pave the way for the kiss that is going to happen very shortly? Gotta say that I think this scene exemplifies my earlier complaints about how Noor was so prevalent early in the season and how Robbe/Noor was built up. Because once again, Robbe/Noor has taken precedence over the undeveloped Robbe/Sander pairing.

Finally, as I said above, the situation makes it so that Robbe and Sander are on their own by default, not by choice. Combined with the bizarre lack of tension, that makes this scene fall totally flat. There’s no sense that these two really really want to be alone together. There’s no joy in them running off together. Robbe actually seems reluctant to go off with Sander. And not even because he’s fearful of what might happen, ooooo things might get a little gayer than I can handle right now, but like he’d rather sit here and drink and think about his girlfriend.

It’s like they were concerned that Isak and Even were too mean to Emma and Sonja so they decided Robbe and Sander would only be alone because it was the girls’ decision to leave them, not the other way around. We even get that text from Britt so we know that Noor totes isn’t coming back and it’s OK for them to leave. I have no idea what their actual motivation was to construct the scenario this way, though. I would love to know. (The answer would probably annoy me so I’m better off not knowing.)

It’s little stuff like this that makes me want to sit down the writers/directors/whoever’s behind wtFOCK and have them watch scenes from Skam S3 and write an essay on the construction and execution of clips. Do some homework about timing, tension, narrative structure, and everything else that makes S3 work.

Clip 10 - Smooch time

It’s 21:21 so you know what’s happening. Also, bullshit! Why is this happening so fast. You haven’t earned this!!!!

Sander buys them booze. The Sander actor is very good, honestly. I like his screen presence. It is a testament to his abilities that this relationship is working for me at all, because it sure ain’t the writing. (Robbe’s actor is doing well, too, but the writing is dragging him down since he’s present for all this nonsense.)

This scene of Sander and Robbe drinking and riding bikes is genuinely good on its own and they have strong chemistry when they’re allowed to show it. They have easy banter and interaction, there’s a callback to the booking.com reference from when they met. Really, this part makes me sad, because I can see the potential here! If the writing was GOOD, if the story had a legit direction, if it was just better storytelling all around … this season could have been wonderful, they had the right guys to do Isak and Even’s story justice. Instead it’s like this one terrific moment in a sea of wtFOCK.

If they go in the pool I will roll my eyes. C’mon, guys, you DO NOT HAVE THE SYMBOLISM to do this scene. It had a meaning in Skam, in most of the remakes it’s just an arbitrary location.

Yep, it’s a pool.

Sander takes off all his clothes so he jumps in bare-assed, and Robbe laughs. Sander yells at Robbe to get in the pool so Robbe does a fucking striptease while Sander watches, more or less, and he’s about to get in the pool in his underwear, but Sander is like “all the way or no way” so Robbe takes off his underwear after a brief moment of hesitation and jumps in. So they’re naked in the pool. Cool cool cool.

Seeeeee, on the one hand this COULD be a moment of liberation, I could see it, taking off the clothes and jumping in as a representation of abandoning the stale hetero life or w/e. But I don’t think wtFOCK has built anything resembling a clear arc for Robbe, to the point where this act means anything, really. (Can you imagine Isak doing this in episode 4? I don’t know if it fits his character at that point, but I could at least be like, OK, this is part of his ~rebirth and I think we’ve built him up enough that this moment of liberation feels like a culmination of something.) I’m also not totally sold on the way they presented this, like we’ve got a closeted gay kid alone with his crush and the crush takes his all his clothes off and then Robbe takes all his clothes off with only the barest reluctance (but he’s not like … distressed or worried, just kinda like “aw, man!”) For some closeted gay kids? Sure, guess I could see it! But in the context of “this kid is struggling with his sexuality and he’s alone with the boy he likes and he’s supposed to be going through Some Shit”? Why doesn’t this have a bigger reaction in Robbe? Since they are drunk and not necessarily overthinking things in the moment, however, I will let this slide. Cynically I think this is mostly about trying to make wtFOCK Sexxxxy. I’m not a prude and I don’t have an objection in theory to a teenage couple skinny dipping together, but wtFOCK has a trend of taking a thing that happened in OG and going “How can we do this but more?” and these remakes know Evak is the big sell in fandom, so. They’re making it spicier. (EDIT from the future: Jumping ahead to later content on wtFOCK ... they very much are trying to make it Sexxxxy.)

Also, these guys just haven’t had a lot of buildup yet! And I can see like … rewriting this scene so the first kiss isn’t necessarily some epic release of a simmering tension and growing love, but more of a tentative, pivotal moment with a gay kid kissing a boy for the first time, and having the relationship grow from there. But wtFOCK isn’t doing that, it’s trying to do the Evak thing with the epic romance, and they haven’t earned it.

They go underwater for the breath-holding contest, Sander tries to kiss Robbe (Robbe’s eyes are pointedly closed so this feels like some unnecessary POV breakage) and Robbe shoves him back. He’s still in a good mood, though. They go back underwater and Robbe kisses Sander. Yay, I guess.

Lol, I don’t actually want to sound like a bitter asshole. The song choice is lovely! The cinematography is pretty good! And like I said, they have nice chemistry. It’s just that the storytelling has been so messy up to this point that I can’t get too invested. The very first clip I saw in real time for Skam season 3 was the pool scene - I had just discovered the show a few days prior, and I kept watching the clips on repeat. I could not get enough of this story. I really really needed those guys to kiss. Yeah, I recognize that at the time the story was brand new and this wasn’t the fourth iteration of the same pool scene and the sixth first kiss for this couple, and you really can’t recreate that feeling of not knowing what comes next in a remake like this. Still, I think that if the writing had just been better, I could have been happy and invested in this moment.

I also think that the pool scene in particularly has a tendency to get written in kind of a rote way in the remakes. Some of them have put their own spin on it - I had plenty of criticisms of Skam France’s S3 but I did enjoy their first kiss and I praised that they made up their own symbolism - but some of them have gotten so close to the original, the exact same banter, the interruption at the end, and it doesn’t feel natural for those versions of the characters. I’m not sure if the remake showrunners think that the original scene is something the fans want to see or if they’re being lazy or if they think the OG is just that good (which it is, lol). I don’t think any remake has been that faithful with their O Helga Natt clips, by comparison.

Anyway they get caught, yadda yadda.

Clip 11 - Morning after the pool smooch

Robbe gets up and sees Zoë looking at Senne, seemingly hungover, on the couch. She makes coffee to spite him since the coffeemaker is loud.

Zoë asks Robbe about last night and says Noor was at the door. Robbe doesn’t tell her what really happened. Apparently Noor looked like she felt bad. I don’t think I can handle more Robbe/Noor, guys. I appreciate that OG didn’t drag out Isak’s thing with Emma once he kissed Even, but I’m not confident this won’t happen here.

Zoë asks if he’s all right. Man, the most effective relationship this season is probably Zoë and Robbe? Which is fine! But like … boy squad ain’t great, Sander and Robbe aren’t well developed, they fucked up Yasmina and Robbe already, Milan and Robbe are way behind schedule…

What if the reveal were that Sander were in Robbe’s bed?

It’s not. Instead, Sander texts him as a cover of Space Oddity plays. Robbe has angst and blocks Sander on WhatsApp. Ohhhh my. Another thing I appreciated about OG? That Isak was all in after he kissed Even, and that the angst came from different places besides the typical gay coming out storyline of “kissed a boy, regretted it, went back in the closet temporarily.” Not that it’s unrealistic, just that it’s done so much.

I think we’re supposed to take away that Zoë saying Noor was there looking sad made Robbe reconsider what happened with Sander? Or just general internalized homophobia. I don’t think the latter is totally out of Robbe’s characterization based on what we’ve seen so far, although I wish there was clearer writing so it felt more like “Robbe has internalized homophobia that made him block Sander” and less like “????? internalized homophobia I guess.” Again, I’ll letting this slide because I can also rationalize it as him being a little drunk last night, and now that he’s sober he regrets his choice, even if I don’t think this is a great choice at this stage in the season.

Clip 12 - The heaviest of sighs

The subs helpfully gave a trigger warning for homophobic slurs so I knew this was going to be “good.”

Robbe is listening to music as he goes home. Sander comes up to him, smiling, wanting to know why Robbe blocked him. Robbe says to leave him alone, that Sander got him drunk and took advantage of him.

L M A O welp, this would soooo kill this ship for me if I were invested.

FIND SOMEONE ELSE, SANDER, YOU DESERVE BETTER

Oh, so Robbe also shoved him and called him a dirty f****t! What a great romance!

No, really - this is the EXACT THING I was so glad that Evak DID NOT DO. I’m not saying their romance has to be free of flaws, that there can never be fuckups, that Isak can’t ever hurt Even and vice versa. But this is such a common and ugly trope in gay media.

Robbe goes inside and slams his door, Milan asks what’s wrong, Robbe tells him to leave him alone. We get Milan’s POV and not Robbe’s at the end.

Anyway lmao. wtFOCK indeed.

Did you enjoy the cuddle scene in Skam, where a same-sex couple got to be tender and sweet and open with each other for almost seven minutes? A clip that felt refreshing and even revolutionary for its normalization of gay intimacy? Hahahaha, fuck you.

Okay, seriously though. It’s not a problem that we didn’t have the cuddle scene immediately after the pool scene. It’s not a problem that they want to change up this storyline and make it their own - though again I would ask the creative powers at wtFOCK why they’re making these particular choices. It’s not a problem if Robbe and Sander’s relationship has some extra bumps along the way to their happy ending.

WHAT EVEN PROMPTED THIS CHANGE IN ROBBE, like I get the answer is “internalized homophobia” but Robbe was BUCK NAKED WITH SANDER IN THE POOL so like. Can we please get SOME context for why he suddenly had a freakout? Can we please get some narrative structure with cause and effect? Can we get a fucking reason that Robbe went from 0 to 100? Because if it was just the blocking Sander on WhatsApp, that’s one thing, but accusing him of sexual assault and calling him slurs is so vastly beyond that. If we’re supposed to take away that Robbe feels bad about Noor, that still doesn’t explain the ugliness of his reaction, rather than just telling Sander that he has a girlfriend and it was a mistake or whatever.

I’m going to add that I understand that Robbe went through some additional homophobic shit from his friends in previous seasons - I remember Moyo saying crappy things to him in S1, and I watched a S2 scene where the same thing happens. So I can understand if Robbe’s internalized homophobia is very strong. But they’ve also cut out so much stuff in this season that added to Isak’s internalized homophobia (no mom’s religion making him anxious, no gay test, no gay generalizations from Emma...) If they want to rely on internalized homophobia from previous seasons, then we really need a reminder in this season, such as his friends making homophobic jokes, which I do not recall hearing so far. And they need to show what happened between the kiss to provoke such a homophobic reaction.

After Sander said that thing about not knowing if anyone would ever love him … why did they do this? I love me some pain in storytelling but this isn’t just angst, this is needlessly cruel.

There is, believe it or not, a middle ground between “conflictless fluff” and “cruel homophobia and assault allegations” where you can have some tension, even have Robbe have a freakout, without bringing in this kind of material. Robbe could have told Sander to stay away without accusing him of assault or calling him slurs. He could have said he wasn’t gay or that it was a mistake or even “I was drunk” without following it up with “and you took advantage of me.” All of these options might have stung for Sander and for any viewers who were hoping for morning-after cuddles, but they also create conflict without pushing it over the edge into OTT cruelty.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Ahahahaha

So far this season is like a disconnected set of scenes from Skam S3 with bonus filler scenes and unnecessary clips about non-Robbe things. It’s getting hard to think about rewrites because the point, if you will, so often so unclear. It’s also hard because this episode squeezed in so many OG scenes that were missing from earlier in the season that it’s like, well, shouldn’t we have had this a few episodes ago? Should we just leave them out now?

Okay. Start by getting rid of the first clip in this episode that’s mostly about Zoë/Senne, bump up the Milan clip. We start with Robbe looking at pics of Sander on IG, Milan comes in and asks if there was any romance on the trip, then they get into the Grindr talk, etc. The Grindr talk makes more sense before Robbe almost kisses Sander, but like. We can’t do anything about that now. What might be better is if the whole “how do you know if a guy is gay?” thing takes a swerve into not just Robbe trying to figure out Sander, but to something uncomfortably close to Robbe’s own behavior (like IDK, referencing body language and how a guy will lean in closer, like Robbe did with Sander) and then Robbe gets cranky because he’s worried he’s too obviously gay to other people. After Milan leaves, he starts looking up stuff like “how to act straight” or “how not to seem gay” or whatever. That leads us into the next clip...

... the dance chicks scene. Now we’ve seen plenty of Robbe being disinterested in girls already, so this time we’re going to show him trying to be interested in girls instead. Like he’s watching his friends’ annoying horny reactions and he’s clearly trying to imitate them and join in, but we can see that he’s awkward and not totally feeling it. But he’s trying. Then after the performance, Robbe makes the comment about the dance instructor being so gay.

There is a problem, IMO, in that Robbe’s friend group has been shown to be more homophobic than the average boy squad (as seen in S1 and S2). And frankly I don’t really believe yet Jens is the type to shut down a homophobic comment. Like in S2 Moyo and Robbe straight up start calling each other f*gs and Jens is like chill, no one here is a f*g, but if there were, you should date each other. That’s his idea of intervention. So I’m not sure how to handle that.

I don’t love this idea, because I hate what they’re done with Moyo in particular, making him pointedly more homophobic (to be discussed in a future reaction) but Moyo and Aaron could perhaps laugh at Robbe’s comment and start riffing off it, while Robbe is sitting there pretending to laugh but looking increasingly uncomfortable, and Jens notices something is off with Robbe, and he tells the guys to knock it off, the guy is gay, so what? Big deal. Then aside from the other guys, he asks Robbe if something is wrong, and Robbe snaps at him or attributes it to family problems again.

I was going to also say that the setting for this clip doesn’t really allow for Sander to swoop in, like Even did to return the snapback, but actually maybe it could? Noor could have invited Britt and Sander to watch the show, right? So maybe when Robbe makes this gay joke and his friends are laughing, Sander comes up while Britt is talking to Noor and is like, hey guys, what’s up? Robbe’s friends are just like, oh nothing, did you see how gay that guy was? Then Sander is like, sorry, what’s the problem with being gay? He tells them off a little. Meanwhile Robbe is standing there awkward as fuck, not looking Sander in the eyes, while Sander is looking at him for backup, but Robbe just makes an excuse to bolt. Maybe he walks past Noor without saying anything, so she looks confused.

Now onto Robbe and Yasmina. Man, I truly hate saying this. But: If you are not going to incorporate other religious themes into this season, then you don’t need to redo the Isak-Sana friendship. Again! I don’t like suggesting this! But what actually is Robbe and Yasmina’s relationship bringing to this season when it’s portrayed like this?

They left out the weed blackmail, which is really just a plot device in OG, but it’s a plot device that sets up Sana and Isak’s thread. It also gets Isak to kosegruppa to meet Even, something which is irrelevant here.

Sana’s main tie to S3 is Isak’s mom. Isak’s mom is religious, that makes him anxious, and it’s a hurdle to coming out to her. Robbe’s mom is not religious, Robbe’s internalized homophobia doesn’t seem to have anything to do with religion specifically other than this one scene with him and Yasmina. It’s just a disconnected tangent. What’s more, what is Yasmina’s eventual advice going to do for him? Sana’s advice led Isak to come out to his mom.

I really like Yasmina. If there’s another way that her presence is relevant to the themes of this season, by all means let’s find it and include her. As it is, either make it that Robbe’s mom is religious and include the Robbe-Yasmina subplot, or don’t and leave it out.

I would love to see in-depth and meaningful friendships develop among all the characters in the Skam squads, just because I love all those kids. Jonas and Vilde? Even and girl Chris? Eva and Mahdi? I don’t care how random, let’s have them all! But there is a finite amount of time per season, and we can’t extend time for all possible relationships - just the ones that are most relevant to the story we are trying to tell.

I mentioned above a fix for the Bowie playlist clip that makes it have a little more sense to me. If you include Sander in the dance chicks clip like I said, you could have Robbe thinking about Sander again and wondering if he’s into men since he called out the boys’ homophobia. That’s how he ends up on Grindr. Then Sander sends him the Bowie playlist, Robbe listens, Sander calls and they talk, Robbe apologizes for bolting out of there the other day. Sander invites him to the cafe later, Robbe’s all :D until he realizes Britt is there and is coming too, then he’s :(

He’s late to meet Noor and Noor is upset, but not like ... screaming and shoving at him. She’s more snippy and passive-aggressive, she walks off. She says she’s upset because he ditched the dance performance without talking to her, and then he’s late to meet her, it seems like he just doesn’t care that much. They have a fight but it’s like a normal fight and not The End of the World. Just tone down Noor’s OTT anger and make it more natural.

I don’t have a preference in this version whether Noor and Britt leave the cafe and Sander and Robbe know they’re not coming back, or whether Noor and Britt just go to get some air and cry it out and Sander is like fuck it, let’s leave. The important thing for me is that Robbe sits there with Sander, painfully aware that they’re alone, and there’s lots of tension and awkwardness and his brain is clearly hyper-focused on the proximity of Sander’s knee to his own. They banter and flirt and then when Sander suggests they leave, Robbe acts like he wants to go.

Don’t do a pool scene for the first kiss. Give a shit, make it your own. Except IMO they have done so little to establish this relationship in terms of larger themes or symbolism that they have nothing to choose from.

Man, what if THIS episode was about going to the seaside, after they had been talking for several episodes, and they kissed in the sea when they were alone? That would be at least somewhat plausible? A take on the pool scene/underwater kiss that wasn’t the exact same.

You could do something related to graffiti, perhaps? Instead of breaking into a pool, they break into the tagging place or wherever. Or something else related to Sander’s artwork, because I know that this comes up in their version of O Helga Natt.

I’m not wild about adding this blip in Robbe and Sander’s relationship after the kiss, because of how much ground we need to cover the rest of the season (it messes with the pacing yet again) and also just because I like that Skam didn’t do this expected route. However, if they wanted to make Robbe try to shut out Sander again: the strongest case for his internalized homophobia seems to be his friends. So have him meet up with them again the day after kissing Sander. His friends bring up Sander and how weird he was at the dance performance about the gay instructor, like it’s just a joke! He took their comments way too seriously! Is Sander gay or something? And maybe Robbe tries to defend Sander - no, he’s a cool guy, really - and then his friends are like, pffft, what, do you have a crush on him? Robbe denies and everybody chills out, but Robbe seems troubled. Maybe this is when Jens finally gets a fucking clue and realizes something’s up with Robbe, and in the future there’s a scene where he shuts down gay jokes. For now, though, we do see how Robbe would feel compelled to go back in the closet. Sander texts him and Robbe blocks him.

Now we come to the worst part. So. Take out Robbe calling Sander a sexual predator and a homophobic slur and pushing him, that’s for sure. If he must reject Sander, do it in another way. “I’m not gay.” “I was drunk.” “It was a mistake.” “I have a girlfriend.” It’s not actually hard to do this clip without adding this ugly taint to their relationship.

Since I’m trying to think of rewrites without just copying Skam, here is a radical change on how to include a post-kiss freakout from Robbe earlier on so the pacing isn’t as odd. In previous recaps, I suggested Sander should be introduced earlier as a mysterious stranger that Robbe is trying to find. Well, maybe we can rework that. Robbe and the mysterious stranger share a kiss in episode 1. They’re hiding from the police or security or something after getting busted at a party or while tagging or w/e, and they’re both a little drunk and high on adrenaline, they’re smiling and laughing because they actually got away, and it just ... happens. The mysterious stranger can initiate it, but Robbe tentatively reciprocates before running away. Robbe freaks out and it’s after this that he starts heavily pursuing Noor. Because, you see, he’s not gay, he was just drunk, and it was all that other guy’s fault. But at least he doesn’t have to see that random guy again, right? No one will ever know. Just like no one will ever know if late at night when he can’t sleep, he does a Google search to see if he’s gay if he liked kissing a boy or if he can’t get it up with his girlfriend. Or if he goes on Grindr to see if he can find the mystery dude. It’s a bust and Robbe gives up and settles into dating Noor. Except in episode 2, OH SHIT, he’s introduced to Sander again via Noor, and it’s awkward and fuck, Sander has a girlfriend. Well, that’s good, right? Totally not a bummer. Anyway, Robbe tries to avoid Sander or tiptoe around him but they end up spending time together because they’re stuck at the seaside under the same roof. Maybe they directly address the issue by Robbe saying he’s not gay and Sander being like “me neither” (which technically is not a lie, lmao) and brushing it off as a mistake, or maybe they both pretend that it never happened. Maybe Robbe is more aggressive about it at first and Sander is like, whoa dude, chill out, I’m not going to tell anyone. Still, they get to know each other, there’s heaps of sexual/romantic tension, and in episode 4 (or 5 or whenever) they kiss again and it’s Epic.

This arc is definitely not the same as Isak’s or Evak’s and I absolutely won’t claim that it’s in the same league as what Julie Andem did, but I can see a narrative arc like this making some sense. Better than trying to do Isak’s arc half-assed.

It occurs to me just like … how little we know about any of these characters in terms of subtext or something? No hints about Sander’s background, really? Let’s get some clues in there.

I think something I miss about Skam was how kind it was. How all the characters were at heart, good people capable of the most generous love and empathy. And maybe we’ll get there with these characters in the end, but overall, so many of these people just don’t feel like that! There’s so much more ugliness and cruelty involved in this story, and it doesn’t feel like it’s done with good intentions, like to show the audience how to handle these situations and to heal.

There’s this weird attitude of defense where cruelty, tragedy, and negative events are defended in the name of realism and there’s a backlash to the backlash, acting like the critics just want fluffy plotless hand-holding and cuddling, a conflict-free season, or a story where no one makes mistakes. And it’s like people forget that in Skam season 3, the story was FULL of angst! We know Evak get their happy ending but like … from episode 1 all through O Helga Natt, the story is packed with conflict. People hurt each other. Even in episode 10, not everything is perfect. It is very possible to do angst and conflict without this ugliness. Like … I have to assume people weren’t here for episodes 5 and 6 of Skam S3, or for the hotel scene, or episode 9 up to OHN, because I can assure you, there was no lack of angst. There was just a lack of shock value gratuitousness.

As always, let me know if I missed something due to cultural or linguistic context.

#wtfock reactions

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satellite-trash · 4 years

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what i did the past few weeks... is create a 5Ds animal crossing island!! and good god i have sunk deep into it!

SO I made three Island Residents, and I’m kinda proud of how they look

Jack:

(NOTE: Yusei and Jack’s custom outfits are NOT my own! They are from a Pinterest user from a 3DS custom pattern! will add the link in edit when i find it!) The hair is the same (kind of) spikes, honestly jack was the hardest (wink) to make because of eye colour (so he has brown eyes in animal crossing...) and the hair is obviously nowhere near as spiky and blonde :( Jack is the Resident Rep, the one I started the Island with, mostly because I was going to use him to make the most money and basically be... KING... of the island. haha - YUSEI:

(the boots are the recycled boots because of course yusei would wear stuff from junk... I mean..... its yusei)

I LOVE the square-y eyes, and I used them for yusei because theyre the most accurate to his anime eyes which kind of have a square shape but are also pointed........ also i didnt want to reuse the eyes i used for Jack so. I’m so happy you can use custom designs as face paint... he has his signature marker which makes it more obvious who I’m trying to make!!! (this might be why i least like Jack’s villager look... no marker = no distinguishing feature :(( )

I give Yusei all the crafting recipes I can to make sure i keep track of what DIY recipes I know (balancing it through 3 accounts is impossible!) also he has a second outfit with just the basic tank top and a tool bag which I loVE the physics of this game!! the bag bounces when you walk at a medium pace itS SO CUTE i love this game omfg

oh and yusei hates bugs like blathers, thank you 5Ds dub ep 2 for that totally not forgotten lore : )

CROW:

(he has the uwu mouth because i just wanted to use that mouth on someone i love itttt)

Crow’s hair is as accurate as it can be, without that damn bandanna!! i dont even think theres a headband-bandanna item in the game so thats not happening! (he looks bald without it agh)

Crow is mostly my “museum-lover” account - whenever theres new fish/bugs i need, or just to go around collecting the daily fossils, i make sure its through crow (although im very disloyal and often just cba swapping acounts so i catch stuff with yusei and jack because as i said im lazy)

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Here are some screenshots I took (whenever theres two characters, I used the joycon controllers in co-op mode to play with myself because im very lonely its lockdown still OK dont judge)

this is Crow finding jack’s outfit. i love the “heh heh” its very... Crow. also yes i gave jack a “King” outfit with a crown. i had to try and act the part y’know.

Crow in the residential district of the city just thinkin’. idk i love the look of the streetlights I LOVE THIS GAME did i mention that?

I made custom outfits of the 5Ds gear and slapped them on jack and yusei, and honestly # ad ?

crow fishing with the lads. (he’s the only one using the flimsy fishing rod because he is a rebel)

an unlikely duo O.O

Yusei just enjoying the nightlife in his PJs

awwww bros makin’ snowbros together (crow’s is kinda lopsided but we still love him)

(YES I TIMESKIPPED THIS ISLAND IS JUST FOR FUN OK DONT KILL ME)

yusei and jack in the fireworks! jack had a golden wand because flex

hard at work with his iron wand and random dog in the background ?

(i love the city wallpaper and it works for him! the houses are still in progress lol)

erm next one

these are the posters i made using the animalcrossingpatterns website, its so fun and it makes it that tad bit more geeky and frankly wtf am i doing with my life im making an animal crossing yugioh 5ds themed island why am i doing this wow what is happe

OH GOD Yusei’s worst fear A BUG

a SCORPION! THis image shows the ULTIMATE DUEL between Yusei and the enemy, Scorpion! How will Yusei win such a disadvantageous duel!! FIND OUT NEXT EPISODE!

and finally , the 3!

(the only way i can get all three in a pic is through harv’s island, im not paying £100 for another controller I’m not that sad can you believe!)

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i hope you enjoyed that update on my way of coping with the current world mess - ive just escaped into a fictional world in a fictional game-world, Yugio 5Ds through Animal crossing, fiction-ception! Might post more random pictures if I actually make more progress, I recently made BANK from turnips so hopefully I can do something besides crying at how weird my island layout is currently... (oh and i know my digital art is trash but I drew the three as portraits and i wanted to at least try and make it look digital and cute ok)

pls dont judge me on how sad i am doing all this... im very sad bUT AC exists. just probably not for this purpose.

#yugioh 5ds #animal crossing #animal crossing yugioh #jack atlas #crow hogan #yusei fudo #AC 5Ds #wowwww im sad #but i made a nice environment to be sad in

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beecherdrysdale · 3 years

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Hello my bbs, hope everyone’s ok!.

The amounts of screenshots I took for this....

To start: haha I guess brigid and Dylan are in the same car together, but who’s at the front? Like Dylan better keep his hands to himself of Jamie’s gonna get jealoussssss. And it’s gonna be chaotic and quinton is gonna jump out of the car lol. Unless you put quinton upfront with you? Haha yes you ignore them and just talking to quinton hehe.

Brigid I do that as well, so get ready to lose when the light turns green! Kesh also likes to drive fast so it’ll be chaoticcccc.I am banishing Ryan to the back because I would definitely lose concentration. Quinner or Braden are the only ones that can sit upfront. Preferably Quinner so that I can hold his hand🥺 but I love you too braden. There is so much to see while driving in Canada, so frequent stops will be made. Plus the boys love Canada #nostalgic.

Lmao being in the car together would be so fun!!. Haha Dylan and Jamie braiding your hair would be hilarious, like they get into the biggest knot, why do I feel like Ryan would take a picture of it and post it on his insta story and would write “nice”😂 I do wanna see it tho. but like kesh said they would be giving you puppy eyes because they don’t want you to be mad at them, I’m not sure how you would react tho?. Hehe me pulling over, and quinton and devon just redoing your hair, and then I’d make them do my hair as well:). Ok so driving with the windows down and blasting music is good with everyone, I think we would playing all music lol , country for Brigid and Kirby? I think you like country? I’m playing 2000’s music- like a g6 would be so fun to blast in the car. Everyone is just dancing in the car. Some rap will be played for the boys. Kesh what music do you like? Does anyone else have any music suggestions? Haha cozzy, Devon and Braden just being passed out for the drive and literally not waking up to the music. Late night drives are adorable, esp with the make outs hehe.

Ok so we have decided that kesh is the most responsible on the trip which I totally agree with, somebody’s gotta keep us in check. Cozzy is apparently still sleeping, boy must be tired from all those nhl games hehe. Lmao sending Kirby with us, and you yeeling at Dylan not to buy a tv😂. We would so chaotic in the grocery store, like riding in the shopping cart, but also everybody’s racing to get their food, which would be majority of junk food hehe. Honestly we would buy so much food we are literally on a vacay with hockey players who eat a lot haha. The cash register would be shocked. Awww kesh, you being like “kirbs I didn’t even give you that many directions” but him being totally clueless and just trying to kiss you. him being “hmmmm but we didn’t get a tv, and we got some carrots and veggies” lmao I love that kesh please keep writing those.

Haha you got it right, I would be so confused, like how did we get so much food ?! Brigid, you did go overboard but I love it and we will eat our candy :) Dylan bring a ps5 is the funniest shit ever. Food discussion: yes to all of those candies, all dressed ruffles are delish so imma throw in a few bags. Dark chocolate is a must, hehe we should buy fruit and veggies. I don’t think I last that long with junk food hehe. Oo yess we are go a get an Nanaimo bars and poutine :) ooo and BEAVER TAILS . Those are sooo good. I can buy for everybody, esp quinner so that we can recreated that gif of him eating one.

Haha yes, Ryan and I will be there with the non stop chirps. We love them, but still you and Dylan getting 🥵 is 🤌. Hehe yes I mean Dylan h is gorg as well so quinner better work quick lol. Ooo brigid is feeling up some muscles, we love that. But also yes to the straddling and being soft w Jamie. Kesh they are a blushing mess, because they wanna be with Brigid all the time. We are absolutely recreating those wakeboarding lake pics, we have to witness that again- esp you brigid w Dylannnnn. We love some sunscreen and aloe vera.

Thank you, boats are fun! Yess Brigid is sharing the tube with Dylan and Jamie or just making the boys jealous 😏 and me or Ryan would probably make you intentionally fall off the tube lol. Maybe I can get quinner to go with me. Ryan is just waiting for that moment for Quinner to leave to push me in but I would be to quick and grab him as well 😂. Haha brigid needs a break and is just watching us lol. Haha Braden and Ryan pulling pranks on dyl and Jamie we love that. Aww kesh Quinner is being protective and wants to be with me.oh yes, Jamie and dyl staring at Brigid cuz she’s gorgeous in her bikini. We all look hot tho. Kesh is just chilling w kirbs. Lmao “I feel like we should stop Dylan and Jamie before they hurt themselves” and then kirbs being like “Devon is with them, there goes Dylan and Jamie” I love these.

Awww Quinner following me around 🥺 we’d be cute drunks. Ooo yes, Dylan and Jamie getting jealous, but they wanna be constantly around you, so I understand. Clubbing is a success, we are all pumped up w alcohol hehe. Lmao Devon and cozzy trying to get a girl but Ryan and Braden keep foiling their plans 😂 hehe kesh just chilling and wanting to help dev and cozzy but Kirby is to busy watching quinner, also question who is he doing the body shot on?

Yess the locked room would be not a Lexi and Ryan chaos, aw yes I get to know Dylan better:)) I wanna be friends! He he yes he would start getting jealous but then maybe I’d help him get your attention, but we still gotta let you have your Jamie moments🥺

Awww we do love a body positive Queen, y’all are gorgeous !! Haha yes we need a girls day! Some good shopping will be happening, we gotta get Brigid some summery clothes. The guys would be in awe, esp Jamie Dylan and kirbyyyy !!. I do wanna steal their clothes tho. We got so handsy boys over here!. Aww kesh you would looks so cute in kirbs big shirt but also in a bikini.

Yesss Dylan and Jamie are in awe, like she’s gorgeous. Same with Kirby m.

Aww kesh you’re to nice😭 you made me cry. Me abs Quinner!

Ok imma add more gtg to practice

Xo Lexi

okkkk so i’m finally home from school and practice now so i’m ready to respond. i’m taking notes from kesh and adding a keep reading bc this is gonna be longgggg so be warned to anyone reading this

haha yes i’m keeping quinton up front with me bc i don’t want him to jump out of the car lmao. i’m not going to subject him to the possible sexual tension that would be going on in the car if dyl or jamie were in the front. like if one of them were in the front they would just start touching my thigh or something knowing the other one could see it but couldn’t do anything about it. and then i would get distracted from driving and we wouldn’t win lol. so i’m making jamie and dyl sit in the back so they mostly dyl can just yell at me to drive faster so that we win. and then i’ll just chill and talk to quinton bc i want to annoy the other two lol

haha don’t worry, me and dyl (and jamie and quinton) will dominate once again. like you guys might drive fast, but i can guarantee i drive faster. especially if dyl is yelling at me to go faster lol. haha but yes you’ll definitely have a better chance if you banish ryan to the back so he can’t distract you. so you let quinner sit in the front with you and hold your hand 🥺 but as soon as he tries to put it anywhere else you banish him to the back so you don’t get distracted lol. but we would definitely have to make a bunch of stops for the boys bc they’re back in canada

haha yes dyl and jamie try, they really do, but they can not seem to get the whole braiding thing down. and then it ends up in a huge knot and ofc ryan just laughs at my misfortune and takes pics of my hair to post on his story. haha and i’d pretend to be soooo mad at them, and i can be scary when i’m mad so they’d be freaking out and just giving me puppy eyes and being like i’m sorry i’ll make it up to you. but then eventually i can’t keep up the act anymore and just start dying of laughter and then they would be annoyed bc they were freaking out lol. but then we have to stop so that our hair can be fixed.

yesss i love driving with the windows down absolutely blasting music and then whenever you drive past someone they just turn and look at you lol. i’m really into rap and i feel like a lot of the guys are too, so we have to have a lot of rap lol. and then country for kirby and i like country too, so i’m down with that. and then for lexi we have early 2000s music, which i also like and i feel like the guys would be down with that judging by the fact that they played it in the locker room at wjc lol. kesh any other music suggestions? and somehow even tho the music blasting cozzy, devon, and braden are just out, like nothing is waking them up. omg yes late night drives are so cute 🥰 esp with a make out sesh lol

haha yes, kesh is definitely the most responsible one, bc most of the rest of us just have sm crackhead energy it’s unbelievable. somehow cozzy is still sleeping, like how? idk, but then he’s not coming with and neither is kesh so she sends kirby as the responsible one, and let’s just say that doesn’t end too well. haha us getting a million things, and then i, for once being somewhat responsible, say no we’re not buying a tv or a ps5, that’s so expensive. and they’re just like, but babe we have our nhl salaries, we can pay for it, so then i give in lmao. and everyone in the store would just be judging us bc we would be so chaotic and be running all over the store lol. and riding in the cart too lmao. and then we also have a shit ton of food and the cashier is just like wtf, but yk it’s fine. like we would have sm candy and chips, and then we would also get poutine and nanaimo bars and beaver tails. omg i want to try beaver tails soooo bad they sound so good. and then we can recreate the quinner gif lmao. but then we also have to have at least a little healthy food so we feel better about ourselves since we’re all athletes who are supposed to be following diets lmao

haha yes you and ryan would be chirping everyone for literally everything. but mostly me with dylan and jamie lmao. like literally anytime i even touch one of them you guys are all over us, and i’m just like whatever, but the guys are blushing sooo hard lol. but then since i don’t care i keep doing whatever, so like putting sunscreen/aloe vera on them and i’m straddling them, and ik we’re gonna get chirped, but i just don’t care

haha yes boats are so fun, but us on a boat = chaos. hehe all of us on our tubes, but then we’re all trying to flip each other over. and then when we’re finally being slightly calm on the boat and just sitting on the railing, ryan has to come and push lexi in, and then she pulls him in with her and it’s just chaos again. and then i’d be sitting there laughing my ass off, and then someone else decides to push me in lmao. and we’re all looking hot in our bikinis obviously so our boys are all trying to get our attention the whole time. lmao and then kesh is just chilling with kirby and trying to be the voice of reason to get jamie and dyl to stop trying to show off and then kirby’s like no they’ll be fine. they are not fine

hehe yes lexi and quinner being the cutest drunks, just being super soft with each other and clingy 🥺 but then also kind of wild bc apparently quinner is doing body shots off of you. which also i really want to do. like i don’t care if it’s jamie or dyl, but please can one of them do body shots off me? and then let’s say dyl does it first, then jamie sees him doing it and ofc he’s jealous so then jamie has to do one too. and then kesh is chilling with kirby and she’s like hey you should go be a wingman for devon and cozzy, make ryan and braden leave them alone. but kirby’s too busy watching the rest of us do body shots lmao

yes lexi finally gets to actually have an extended convo with dylan, when they’re not trying to annoy everyone who’s actually trying ofc. but then you notice him getting jealous of me with jamie, so you chirp him at first but then he’s getting really annoyed. so then you have to be like calm down, let them have their moment, you’ve have plenty lol. she likes both of you, you know

haha yes we def need a girls day where we’re not being chaotic for once lol. and then we get a lot of cute clothes and stuff. and then when we get back the guys make us model all of it for them lol. and all of them are in awe. like kirby and quinner are just like 😍😍 about you guys bc they think you’re so cute. but then also they love our clubbing clothes and are getting super handsy when we go lol. but then after clubbing we just steal their clothes and live in them for most of the rest of the vacation and they pretend to be annoyed, but they secretly don’t mind bc they think it’s hot when we wear their clothes, esp if it has their name

overall, yes i love all of this and both of you 💖 sorry it took so long lol

#ask answered #anon answered #skating anon

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waynedunlaptheorgandonor · 5 years

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alpha/beta are carol/daryl foils: an analysis no one asked for; twd s10 spoilers, obviously

hoo boy. okay, so i’ve been intending to write this for days, but i had to let it marinate, and also i haven’t been sleeping and couldn’t concentrate long enough to write it down, but whatever, i digress. “we are the end of the world” was something, wasn’t it?? it is so weird to have a plotline in twd that’s like...good? and SO refreshing to have a villain who isn’t a macho, rapey, white dude. i personally believe that all showrunners should be women from now on. oh, i’m digressing again, my apologies.

here’s the actual content, under the cut bc it’s a fucking novel:

so, from alpha’s very first episode, when i saw her shaving her head, i literally thought, “oh, so she’s carol’s foil and they’re going to have an inevitable showdown, huh?” guess who was right? this bitch. but what i didn’t catch right away was how beta is also daryl’s foil, and how the main focus of this season is alpha/beta vs carol/daryl.

let’s take it apart individually first, yeah?

carol vs. alpha:

like i said, the scene that made me instantly aware of what they were setting up was when alpha shaved her head. carol’s hair was a big thing in season 9, and the fact that we had just had henry talking about carol growing her hair out long, juxtaposed with alpha shaving hers off, is what set the alarm bells off for me. i have said over and over that i don’t believe kang does anything unintentionally, and girl loves her symbolism, so those two opposing scenes was a taste of what she was setting up.

carol and alpha are both near-indestructible forces who also happen to be mother’s suffering the loss of their children at the hand of the other. (carol isn’t directly responsible for lydia, but she’s included with “the others” that took lydia from alpha, so i think alpha still sees her as part of it.)

carol and alpha both have transformed themselves to fit within the confines of the world they currently live in, while recognizing that their children weren’t meant for it, even within their own grief. let us refer to figures a and b (lol) below.

figure a:

here in “the grove” we have creepy girl who i hate and am terrified of asking carol if sophia died because she was weak, and carol straight up is like, “yes.” she doesn’t even sugarcoat it. she accepted that her daughter wasn’t going to survive from the jump, because “there wasn’t a mean bone in her body.”

figure b:

here we see alpha losing her goddamn shit, because she’s having a come-to-jesus moment with beta about losing lydia, because she can’t have lydia and be the alpha at the same time, because lydia “is not like” her.

conclusion: carol and alpha both mourn for their daughters, but have accepted that to be the people they need to be in the apocalypse, their children needed to die (or in lydia’s case, be dead metaphorically). in short, carol and alpha are two sides of the same coin. they’ve both found ways to survive, except one is for the good guys, and the other is for the bad guys, and now they’re head-to-head, and it is d e l i c i o u s.

moving on.

daryl vs beta:

idk why the parallels didn’t occur to me when they had daryl fighting beta. i blame henry, he was distracting me by being a delightful idiot (rip my dumb bitch), but that seed was planted in season 9, too. go kang for continuity. who knew twd could do that? anyway.

the big thing that compares daryl and beta is who they were before they found carol and alpha respectively. we obviously don’t know a whole lot of details about beta’s life, but we have enough to extrapolate and compare, and extrapolate and compare we shall.

alright, so we got our favorite lovable, filthy redneck, who grew up abused and isolated, and then here comes the apocalypse, and the only person he has left is his brother, and that’s what defines him until he loses him, both when rick chained him to a roof, and then again, after a brief relapse, when merle sacrificed himself.

next we have beta, who again, our info is limited, but he does not become “beta” until after whoever that walker alpha puts down is gone. judging by the size, approximate age, and the closeness beta had to him, i’m betting on, you guessed it, his brother.

observe:

figure a:

figure b:

these are both turning points for these men, where they Fully Become the dudes that we know. daryl couldn’t be the daryl we know and love until merle was gone for good, and whatever his actual name is couldn’t become beta until smiley face shirt guy was smooshed.

(side note: how fucking rank does that t-shirt have to be by now? at least the mask dries out, but do you think that t-shirt is just like, melded into beta’s skin at this point? gross.)

so time for the fun part.

alpha/beta and caryl in season 10:

season 10 finds both duos in similar circumstances, by which i mean, alpha and carol are losing their minds, and beta and daryl are like, “uhhhh, you ok?” the men are these women’s confidants, their person, the one they trust and love above all others. carol saved daryl and brought him into a community, and alpha did the same thing with beta. you want more visual aides? well, sure thing, scout!

figure a:

we’re carylers, we already know carol’s the reason daryl has the confidence and self-esteem to become part of the group, but juxtapose this with the following pic, which i will label

figure b (again):

and you will see that alpha sees something in beta that no one else does. she sees this lonely, talented man, who’s adrift and in solitude, and she essentially calls dibs. sound familiar? inorite?

so daryl and beta are now loyal to a fault to their women, and this season already has them being wary of how they’re acting. yes, i have more pictures. i like taking screenshots, okay?

figure a:

one of the first scenes we get with caryl is daryl asking carol if she’s still thinking about alpha, and if she is Dwelling, which is interesting, because...

figure b:

...that’s exactly the same thing we get with alpha and beta. the first scene in “we are the end of the world” with the two of them in present day is him questioning her motives, and then later on he’s like, “fuck, are you Dwelling?”

and both women immediately are like:

and neither dude knows wtf to do about this, because they’re used to the women being the strong ones. carol’s whole, “you’ve got to feel it, but not me, i’m good repressing, conceal don’t feel” thing, mixed with alpha’s, “we’re living like the dead and the dead don’t feel emotions so obviously I Am Fine” motto is what their boys are used to, but suddenly carol is hallucinating dead children, and alpha is making shrines, and our poor dudes are like, “plz stop???” esp bc they know these women are FUCKING TERRIFYING, and should never be left to their own devices if they’re being crazy crackers.

ergo, both men are clinging to the hope that they can bring the women back from the brink. my last visual aides, yes i know, how sad:

figure a:

figure b:

both scenes have these dudes reaching out to their women and essentially expressing, in their own way, “i’m worried about you, can you plz stay within eyesight at all times, ilu,” bc neither daryl nor beta is equipped to have a nice long sit down conversation about feelings, and obviously carol and alpha wouldn’t bother to entertain it in the first place, so like ¯\_(��)_/¯. they tried.

will it work? unlikely! because after that showdown at the end of both eps 1 and 2, these bitches ain’t about to stop for nothing. they just straight up made enemies for life, and they’re going straight harry potter with this shit, neither can live while the other survives, someone has to die, and while beta and daryl are not super on board with this whole “being bonkers and bent on revenge” thing, you better bet your ass that they’re going to make sure their woman is the winner, which means they automatically are paired up against one another as well.

so in a nutshell: we could have just stuck goatees on mmb and norman reedus, cast them as alpha and beta, and called them mirror!verse caryl (star trek reference, yay/nay?), because they’re mother fucking foils setting up for the mother fucking fight of the century, and oh my god, can you feel it in your bones how exciting it is that it’s not going to be a rick + negan dick measuring contest again? i am So Hype.

and ofc, as a hardcore caryl shipper, i obviously have to throw in that alpha and beta are totally in love (which is esp fun, bc whisperers aren’t supposed to feel love, uh oh, vulcan violation, yes i made another star trek reference, bite me), and if they are paralleling caryl, well...extrapolate from the evidence.

i love kang, you guys. i love how she tells a story. i love that she knows how to tell a story. this show is good again, and idk how she did it, but damnit, she did.

thus endeth my pointless critical analysis. forgive me. i was an english major and have absolutely no other use for my degree.

i’m ashamed too.

that’s all. tomorrow is the early release of the caryl episode, i mean the new episode. looking forward to dying a valiant death with the lot of you. until then, friends.

deuces,

-diz

addendum: i was editing this, and was trying to think if there’s a parallel to the bracelet scene, and the only thing i could think of that alpha gives beta is his mask. she encourages him to take the face of his brother(?), and that keeps him grounded, which is interesting, bc my prediction for the bracelet is that it’s going to end up being a grounding device for carol when she’s dissociating. i don’t have a solid conclusion drawn there, but i thought i’d mention it before posting, just to plant the seed.

k, done 4 real, bye

#alpha/beta #do they have a ship name?#bc i'm worried it's gonna get tagged in that weird kink stuff #gdi #whatever #moving on #caryl #carol peletier #daryl dixon #twd s10 spoilers #twd #dunlap tp

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ariereii · 5 years

Note

Wait I love your ocs oh my god?? Is there. a chance u told tell me abt them? ^^;

hi! omg! ty for asking! i never get asks and i love talking about them.....but this is probably gonna be long bc i cannot shut up about them..

the 4 in the post i did are only a small amount of a shit ton i have, but I'll mainly just mention them.

ok, so. sammy and ray.

these two:

i made their story after i kept on thinking about that one story i kept on seeing about those 2 dudes that thought they had a girlfriend but then found out they both have a boyfriend. so, at first raymond was gonna be mistaken for a girl, but i couldn't get it right. so, i did my own version, slightly changed his name and whole design. at first Ray thought Sammy was a girl, saw him, instantly fell in love. but after like a week of dating or whatever sammy told him he's not a girl. and ray was like, wtf? cos here he is thinking he's straight. so there's a whole thing there about his identity and then realises he's bi.

sammy is 16 at the start, gay and he has this thing where he looks more feminine, like more estrogen or something, i can't find the condition online. but it's an alternative universe where something like that exists lol. and he likes to dress very feminine as you can see, loves bows, has a male cat he calls 'kitty' and puts it in bows, and doesn't really have that many friends. he's a good boy and doesn't even swear that much, but when ray pisses him off this one time he gives has enough and punches the asshole in the face and dumps him. ray is one year older, kind of an asshole as it says on the screenshot, but not that bad deep down, and has a lot of character development. he gets into fights a lot too. and he has a scar somewhere on his face. there's more but I'll stop here so this isn't so long.

and here's a picture of them together:

this is a very accurate portyal of how they look. (sammy doesn't need to put on plasters but he thinks they are cute, and uses adorable-looking ones so ray puts them on him)

the other two, onyx and eli:

from a whole different story. i made these ones up recently (ive had sammy and ray for ages) when i was looking through picrews and i wanted to use a gun for a character.

so i thought of an assassin. that's onyx. but then i couldn't just keep that there and i randomly thought "omg what if an assassin was hired to kill someone but then fell in love with them what would happen" so i made eli. and thought of a whole story for them.

and im just gonna post pics of the notes i made for them. i haven't decided 100% on their full names yet but i have ideas.

i say this but im pretty sure both of their first names are just eli n onyx.

Also, I hadn't decided when I wrote the notes but Eli is the first in line for the throne which is why someone wants them dead. (his cousin, I also have a design for her and other characters yeet)

And this is set in a whole ass alternative universe where everything is different. 2 hair colours and 2 eye colours are the norm. Royalty is all different. There's like 3 kingdoms in the whole civilisation and the world isn't as big as it is now. Gender and sexuality is seen very differently there too. Basically, none of them give a shit.

And yeah, Onyx and Eli do get together and that's a whole thing I haven't 100% decided what exactly happens but I have some ideas.

and here's them together:

this is close enough to what they look like, onyx's skin is a lil darker & eli's hair is longer and eli has 1 white eye and 1 pink. onyx has one red and one black. (at first i gave eli one blue and one pink, that's why a lot of the picrews have that but i recently changed it)

That's all I'll say for now. I just also wanna give a quick shout out to these 2 OC's from a different story that I made based off a dream I had. Benny and Max:

I just want to show them cos I love Benny's design with the purple eyes, brown hair, and yellow hoodie he wears all the time. (yellow is his colour, he always wears it, and Max's is red. neither of them know anything about fashion so they just wear their fave colour all the time.) I'll also mention here they live in a universe where everything is the same expect for that this:

actually is real and Benny has it. that is all for now, good day. sorry this is so long. i have like 2 other main OC couples. but I'll shut up lol unless anyone asks.

again, thanks for asking !!

#asks #personal #sorry this took so long to answer lol i had some shit to do before #ask

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parkjmini · 6 years

Text

bts as fuckboys

[a/n]: inspired by @sweetersuga | original post: x i wrote it as the perspective that you’re already close friends w them/have been with them before !!

Seokjin

he’s the funny, sarcastic one where he could be kind of mean bc he takes it a lil far

“you’re such trash you sleep with every girl”

“at least I can get someone to sleep with me”

he flashes a smile in the hall bc he KnOws iT GeTs oN YouR NeRveS

“When’s my birthday”

“January 1st bc u set off my fireworks baby”

“i am disgusted”

piggy back rides on those goddamn strong broad set of shoulders ooffff

“I’ll call you, ya?”

He never calls u bc he probably forgot too busy improvin himself

you have a streak with him and all he sends are selfies with the caption “I hope your day is as beautiful as I am (:”

He catches you staring in class one day and he’s like “take a pic, it’ll last longer babe”

And omg he ACTUALLY TELLS YOU TO TAKE A PHOTO OF HIM

so now u have a gallery full of jin and he wont let u delete them bc he thinks they’re all masterpieces you do too but youd never admit it

the only fuckboy that’s tolerable bc he’s rlly just a big goof

“why don’t you ever have sleeves on your shirt jin”

“these shoulders are on display, honey, can’t cover up the jewels”

he’s kind of obnoxiously loud that u want to shove ur fist into his mouth to sh u t him uP

“dude, jimin’s hot”

“okay but so am i ??”

“ok ya youre really hot but so is jimin”

“jiMIN (Y/N) THINKS YOU’RE—-”

“–ANNOYING THANKS SEOKJIN PLS SHUT UP WHY R U STILL TALKING WOW”

“just trying to get my baby some more dick jeEZ”

Yoongi

“hey yoongs why dont we go on a date??”

“uuhhhhhh since when were we dating? lmao dont trip”

gets a new number every 2 months bc he loves fucking w them crazy bitches too much

“sometimes you need to mess around with the ones who can bite off your dick, being risky is hot (-;”

“BEinG riSkY iS hOt ya u wont have a penis anymore at the rate you’re going”

kind of smells like a mixture of alcohol and cologne

hand-on-ass-when-he-hugs

“let’s play a game, if u lose u have to take off ur clothes, if i lose u have to take off ur clothes”

“wait but yours stay on ?? wtf yoongi??”

“no mine will come off right after i see u naked (;”

the one to play with the ends of your skirt/dress/shirt bc it gets u so flustered and he lives seeing u flustered

straight up Arrogantᵀᴹ at times its hot but ur so annoyed by it that u wanna knock some sense into him

wont ask for nudes but will ask to see some goods

“can i see ur tits”

“for the 4039th time, no”

“well, a man can try”

SMIRKY MC SMIRKY HERE like it just comes OUT of NOWHERE and it is OUT to ATTAC

u dont have a snap streak w him bc it always breaks bc he replies every 3 years bc he was “busy”

but he’s always the fourth person to like your instagram posts???????

and to comment the water droplet/eye/tongue emoji combo ????

loves when u swat his hands away from gripping your thigh

Hoseok

(i wanted to use this gif but it was so big and rectangle and didnt fit but u need to see that gif to really take in the fuckboy bc i cannot find a representation as accurate as that gif is)

always greeting you whenever he sees you

“hey babygirl”

“hoseok we just saw each other in chemistry”

“ok and????? can’t i say hi to my baby?”

“but im not”

“lmao every girl is my baby”

raises his eyebrows any time you fix your dress or your shirt

asks to borrow a pencil and never returns it

“where is my pencil hoseok”

“where is my kiss (y/n)”

“we didnt agree to that”

“well i didnt agree to give it back”

“dO u NoT kNOW whAT BoRRoW meANS”

loves to share so he shares a lot of his snacks with u

“omg i love snacks!!”

“oh baby me too” and trust me, he’s not talking about the food

has the brightest, kindest smile so it catches you off guard when he says some snarky fuckboy comment

loves physical contact !!!!! always has a hand on your back, or shoulder, or thigh, or hand, or arm

lip LICKING PARDON ME HIS TONGUE IS UNCONTROLLABLE

lets you wear his hats/jackets/hoodies bc he thinks youre sooo cute in his clothes

he walks around school with his hands in his pockets like a doUCHEBAG

catches you off guard by spinning you around with his arm around your waist

uses the line “im a dancer” to get girls what an eyeroll

the type to drag you onto the middle of the dance floor at a club just so he could show off his skillz which are actually super bomb like even ur impress and uve seen them 308443 times

he got that sweatpants dick print

Namjoon

changes his contact name to Daddy on your phone

Mr. Ass Man he loves ass ASS ASS ASS SO MUCH ASS BIGGEST ASS LOVER

“oh shit did you see her ass”

“look here bootylover123 stfu”

winks at you a lot in the halls

“do you have a fucking eye problem namjoon”

“its a wink”

“u do it so much that im beginning to think youre eye is having a spasm

lets you copy his homework if he got a hug in return

the type to comment a peach emoji on your instagram photos even if there is no butt involved

loves when you sit on his lap

one time there weren’t enough seats on the bus and he patted his leg for you to sit

“i know you hate standing (y/n), take a seat itll be fine”

“why can’t u be a gentleman and give up your seat for me?”

*alMOST CHOkES from LAUGHING* “me???!!! a gentleman??? wow u expect too much, just sit your big ass down on daddy’s lap or suffer standing”

buys you lunch bc he loves showing off his e x p e n s i v e w a l l e t

he could go from having a full blown brilliant monologue as to why he exists to giggling about how your moles r arranged into the shape of a penis

calls girls mami or ma

asks for ass pics at like 1:32 AM

and u send him pictures of ur elbow crease

and he actually thinks its ur butt

BLASTS baby makin music from his car and causes a public disturbance

has the highest count of broken beds, not bc of a high body count, but bc he actually breaks the bed everytime he sleeps w someone

Jimin

spaces out when ur wearing a low cut top bc hes too busy staring at ur cleavage

his streak snaps are either mirror pics, his abs, mirror pic of his abs, and occasional dick pics

“wanna play 20 questions (;”

“we’ve played 20 questions like 20 times already”

“ok gr8 ill start first: will u let me hit it from the back??”

offers to netflix and chill all the time and it sux bc he actually knows all ur fav shows

ok let me reiterate, jimin knows all ur favorite anythings bc he listens to u 75% of the time bc he thinks ur voice is sexy

will never fail to compliment you when u look good

“damn baby, is this all for me????”

“no i just dont want to look like a hobo today”

gets super jealous when any other guys speak to u even tho hes piping down like 8 other girls

“jimin they’re my frIENDS ur not even my bf why u tripping”

“they arent acting like theyre ur friends. i know fuckboy behavior when i see it (y/n) its my occupation, i do the same shit w girls”

“thats good then, someone else wants me too”

“not good bc ur HOT ASS IS MINE )-:”

youre saved as #1 babygirl on his phone no objections

walks into class with a new hickey in a new place every day

he has SEX EYES u could never look him directly in the eyes bc theyre so captivating

fucking walks like an arrogant prick down the hall and whistles when u pass

brags about his big dick when its honestly not as exaggerated as he says

has a picture of you in one of his shirts as his homescreen wallpaper

Taehyung

“i wont show anyone, im not messed up like that” yea be careful w this one honey, pretty sure jungkook, hobi, yoongs, namjoon all know how ur tits look like

has the perfect innocent face where u have no idea that he’s fucking 4 other girls

always responds after 12 am and calls u at 3 am

“tae im fucking sleeping”

“damn thats hot what else u doin??”

“hanging up on u goodbye im going to block ur number”

“pls don-”

uses the line, “i just dont think we’re compatible” on E V Ery GIRL

offers to hangout but never follows up with it bc he’s never seen out in public with a girl unless its his momma

“jasmine is telling everyone you gave her chlamydia, u get checked bro??”

“dont worry about it”

body count means a lot to him

loves hugs bc he likes feeling boobs squished against him

sometimes INTENTIONALLY lowers his voice bc he KNOWS ur into that shit

thinks youre playing hard to get when rlly u just dont care lol

“i know u want all of this, (y/n)”

“i think ur mistaken”

“right bc i want all of u (:”

“ya tae let’s not get ur feelings mixed w mine ok thx u”

NO SUCH THING AS PERSONAL SPACE the boy is a koala and will latch onto u

Jungkook

the biggest fuckboy of them all

has slept w almost every girl in the school and is v proud of it

“what’s your name again”

“rlly jungCOCK”

“ok (y/n) i know ur fkcing name so can u learn mine”

u dont think he’s ever had a gf b4 bc he doesnt believe in labels OR commitment which hes pretty vocal abt

unlike jimin, he doesnt own up to his dick pics and swears that they were “”accidents””

SCrEENsHOTS! but ur smart so ur face is NEVER in ur pics

“who’s boobs r on ur phone kook”

“yours”

“you WOULDNT DARE”

“i dont have photogenic memory (y/n) i wanted to remember those cuties without a shirt on (;”

looks too fucking good w a fresh cut that u need to avoid him in the halls or ull melt to goo

only owns white tees and timbs lmao hahahaha

smirks when you bend down to pick something up

that or he yells, “one more time, babe!”

“wat u doin”

“showering”

“without me!!1???”

he’s on tinder too so once he’s done with the sampling pool at school, he can broaden his horizons

a car enthusiast and will get offended if u dont think his rims r cool

thinks youre really hot when you yell at him or hurt his feelings

youre his prized possession bc he actually likes talking to u but will never admit it

has a specific nickname for u that he doesnt call his other girls bc its YOURS !!

“hey cutie”

“hey jungCOCK”

hates the nickname jungCOCK

338 notes · View notes

yovngho · 7 years

Text

what you share with each other

Taeil: Blankets. For him, there’s nothing better than cuddling under a blanket with you after a long day. “Get under here now, please.” He says before you can even toe your shoes off. You toss your keys on the counter before turning to the sofa. The blanket covers his neck making him look like a floating head so you giggle. “Let me get out of my work stuff.” You tell him before rushing into your bedroom to change. He lifts up one end of the blanket as you finally approach. “Quick it’s cold.” You finally snuggle into his side, enclosing you both in the blanket. His arm wraps around you with the silence as you both enjoy the moment. “Music or tv?” You ask him, looking around for the remote. “Music,” he says, passing his phone to you under the blanket. “You do it I don’t want my hand to leave the cocoon.”

Johnny: Memes. He has a folder in the photos app on his phone titled “Meme Team.” There are about 200 photos in the folder at the moment and you’ve probably seen about 93 of them so far. There’s a mix of screenshots of funny tweets, photos he’s saved from text conversations or Facebook and a handful of saved snapchats. He’s tapping his foot impatiently as he waits for you to open your door and when you do he bursts in saying “get your phone we have catching up to do.” And you sit there, on your sofa, showing your phones to each other because of a funny reaction pic or meme you saw when he was away for a month. You scroll through your phone looking for one Johnny might find funny, and he sits there, pretending to scroll, pretending he hasn’t got a folder dedicated to this because of how often you do it. “Look at this one.” He says, smiling cause he already knows how you’ll react. The corners of your lips twitch up slightly, before your brows come together in a small frown. Then it’s gone, replaced by howling laughter a you clutch onto his arm for support, a laugh of his own matching yours.

Taeyong: Your rehearsal room.You sneak into the rehearsal studio, making sure not to startle Taeyong out of his dance. You catch his eye in the mirror letting him know you’re there for your session. You’re always ten minutes early, a habit you had which morphed into routine. It used to be a nuisance sharing a rehearsal room with Taeyong, as he’d almost always overrun. Which is why you began to sneak into the room just before he was supposed to leave to remind him that he had to leave. But you’d been so flawed that you started to come in earlier, just so you could see Taeyong in his element. He moves like water, sneakers squeaking against the wooden floor as he changes directions. You can help but stare from your usual position, legs crossed on the floor behind him. Your eyes are focussed on the fluidity of his muscles through the reflection of the mirror and you feel sad when the music comes to an end. He shuffles a few steps towards you before collapsing, his sweaty mop of hair only inches from your lap. You lean over towards his things to grab his water bottle. “Here.” He perks up at that, chugs whatever’s left down before collapsing again. “Can I stay and listen to you sing?” You huff a laugh. “Like you’d leave if I said no.” You stand up to set up the mic. He chuckles cause he knows its true. “I like listening to your voice after a hard practice. It gives me strength.” He’s looking up at you, bangs brushing his eyelashes and a goofy smile half hidden by his arm.

Yuta: Clothes. He forces the hoodie into your hands three weeks after you became official. It’s an unassuming light grey pullover which looks about two sizes too big for Yuta. You raise a questioning eyebrow waiting for an explanation. “Cause I’ll be gone for a week.” You think it’s a bit ridiculous but he shakes the hoodie in your face again so you grab it with a shake of your head. You’re convinced you can survive the week without the hoodie. You break after day five. You grab the hoodie from where it’s been hanging on the back of your door and shove it over your head. His smell envelopes you immediately and you remind yourself you’ll see him soon. You didn’t think you’d miss him so much. To ease yourself further you decide to search for previews from his performances. What you find instead, are airport pictures - him wearing your favourite blue sweatshirt. You let out a laugh before reaching for your phone. You’d wondered where it had gone.

Doyoung: Books. It started off with a few text books. Textbooks were expensive so it made sense to split the cost for all the books needed for the new year between the two of you. It made sense, because you two were close friends who lived near each other so there was no inconvenience. Until you started to get closer. Even the smallest brush of a hand as you turned the page would fluster both of you. He’d start telling you about the books he was reading at the time, offering them to you once he’d finished. And you started doing the same. He’d leave a little post-it on the last page every time. “Did you see that coming, because I sure didn’t wtf??” or “I know this book was terrible but someone else had to suffer with me. I’m not sorry.” You’d usually rinse through the books he’d give you in a few days or a week. But when things started getting hectic around Christmas, his copy of The Princess Bride (one of his favourite books) sat on your desk untouched for weeks. He seemed antsy, asking every few days if you’d finished it yet, yellow post-it sitting unread on the last page. “It’s been months and I like you. I can’t stop thinking about your smile and I like you. I look forward to our study sessions every week and I like you. Let me take you out on a date cause I like you.”

Jaehyun: Carpool. “Someone’s running late today.” You joke as you climb into Jaehyun’s car. He scowls at you from the driver’s seat, pushing his sunglasses further up his nose. The engine revs up without a word and you can’t help but snigger when Jaehyun winces at the loudness of the noise. “Fun night, huh?” You tease, poking at his shoulder as you pull onto the main road. He shoots a glare at you. “Do you want to walk to campus?” It’s meant to be a threat but the small smile on his lips just makes you laugh instead. There’s no way Jaehyun would kick you out of his car. Besides, he’s threatened it countless times over the past year and never acted on it. “You wouldn’t. You love me too much.” You say, like always. You don’t miss his small laugh, or the way he looks down to his lap with a small blush. “Yeah, maybe I do.” You grin at his answer. Maybe today you’ll finally find the courage to ask him out… when his hangover’s faded.

#nct scenario #taeyong scenario #jaehyun scenario #yuta scenario #nctwriters #blurbs #nct #taeyong #taeil #johnny #yuta #jaehyun #doyoung #the end of doyoungs is a reference to princess bride if you havent read the book #doyoungs is my fave on this one

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prorevenge · 7 years

Text

Collectibles scammer now collects bad reviews.

This may get long but I will do my best to reign my ramble-y self in. (tl;dr at the end)

Names faces and some details have been changed to protect the innocent and prevent more harassment.

My little brother(in-law...known from here out as LB) told me about a decent sized FB group devoted to a type of collectible we are both into. I join the group and he tells me about this great deal he took part in. The group has sponsored vendors a.k.a. people who throw a few bucks at the group's mod and they get a shiny star saying everyone should trust them...keyword should.

That stated, LB tells me about a particular vendor who was running this deal..read scam. Another bit of pertinent info. These collectibles, there are common ones and rare ones. The rare ones are worth many times more than the commons and are generally available to the public. The company puts out the rares at a set ratio like 1 in 20 on the shelves will be a rare but for the same retail price as the commons. Although some store will grab it and jack the price up to make up for the price of the commons which don't sell as quickly. That all being said this vendor was offering a type of gamble, they would show a picture of a dozen or more of the collectible but with many more of the rares than would normally exist with that many commons. All you have to do is pay a price that is higher than the retail for the commons and you have way better odds at getting a rare one. My LB thought he was slick and got around 3-4 from the person playing the odds that he should get at least one rare for less than the book value/ebay cost. Immediately my bullshit meter goes off. Quick math says when all his merch sells (which they stated needs to happen before they ship anything out...odd)it goes for way under book value in a group of nothing but people marking things up to make an immediate profit. As in some of these collectibles come out and after costing around $15-20$ they get a day 1 book value of 200+...so there is some real profit to be made...but not this guy. Also, he is selling these deals to minors.

So, I go look up the post and the vendor, no exaggeration, sells out his stock in just under 30 mins of posting almost $2k worth of inventory. Seeing that I almost reconsider that I might have jumped to the wrong conclusion, thinking that a scammer would get called out really quickly in a community like this. So I posted a very polite question asking what proof we get that they ship out the rares and not just commons. Immediately they start giving me shit saying I am ruining the "good times" everyone is having with his "sale". Also, they have done this repeatedly and have sent out tons of rares I just have to search all the happy customers posting pics in the group. I'm now thinking shit I messed up. Off I go to look at all these pictures. Magically, there is only 1 pic of all the dozens of rares they claim to have sent out and wouldn't you just know it was the cheapest rare available at the moment. So now I know something's up and I'm pissed they took my LB's $$ for what will be effectively over priced commons when they sell for way under retail from multiple large sources.

Overnight things blow up on FB the vendor gets a buddy or two to start messaging me teling me the commons they got are great(wut?) and I need to fuck off and stop ruining the fun and good times for everyone...wtf? They kept using that as the main attack on me...apparently asking for what is promised is no fun for anyone. Asshole start then asking me to take down the questions I asked and then offers me a rare just to shut up and go away. I decline the offer then he tells me I need to take it down or the cops will be called and I will be removed form the group...that pushed me over the edge.

Now I was on a mission. So I start googling the company. First thing I find is a negative review that is buried by replies from the owner and his friends and partner. Slamming this kid for complaining about them charging a 30% re-shelfing fee for shipping him a damaged item in an undamaged box. Unluckily for the owner of this company I'm a stay-at-home Dad with odd hours of free time. I basically became a semi-pro reviewer in my free time. I have some special crap with Amazon because my reviews have been liked so often? They also sent me some kind of offer with Amazon Next Generation? So my reviews seem to hold some weight with them, Google too. I got in the beta of Google Guides. The service where you review anything and everything and get points, last time I checked I was lvl 7+ due to a couple bored slightly buzzed nights out and about leading to some stupid but popular reviews. Now that you all believe I am a big man of the interwebs.../s let me show you how I put those finger muscles to use.

Basically I just searched for everywhere you could review his company and didn't leave a negative review(1 star of course) but one with screen shots asking Hmm is this legt, what do you think? The majority of them blew up. Also contacted Amazon with the same screenshots asking if they were interested in knowing a vendor was self reviewing their own business w/o listing they are an owner (big no no on Amazon) and are running gambling offers to minors (another big no no in their particular state). Now I have the top half dozen posts when you Google this person's company, with almost daily replies of more and more people coming out of the woodwork calling this company out. Seventy-two hours later they are no longer on Amazon. Thier business had started out with a 4.75 start rating average, now it's 2... They did get me kicked from the group, but an alt account magically got the word and reviews out to the rest of the group, who's numbers have dropped post this. Wonder why. I am quite okay with not being in a scammer supported FB group TY.

Also I will update this later on today, as LB is suppose to be recieving his stuff, wonder what it will be....ha ha ha.

TL;DR - asshole tries to rip-off kids with a gambling scam, gets left a ton of bad reviews gets kicked off Amazon.

(source) (story by StendhalSyndrome)

#pro revenge #by StendhalSyndrome #prorevenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge

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drewxmay · 7 years

Text

I’m making a Contestshipping MasterPost but I decided to release this part of it early.

and now... the best contestshipping episode of them all!!! yell it loud and clear (even though your parents will think you are weird)

WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WYNAUT!!!

Link to episode can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbLuBt3YaKQ

whenever I say Why not I say it like a wynuat. This is the best episode.

Episode starts off with Ash yelling at a river. Wonderful. 0:06 Oh Pikachu too?

0:20 Best of luck to you on your contest May!

0:27 Hi Drew :D

0:37 hmm. Interested I see?

Masqurain Uses waves to complete his technique

1:27 Drew won 5 a while back! Remember when he had 3?

1:37 Well May will win the contest you two will battle for the 4th time!

1:42 Fancy words will only give May more determination to win... Drew knows this.

1:57 Okay so we have Mr.Perfect, Mr.Know-it-all, and Mr.Rose. Wonderful.

I REMEMBER THIS THEME SONG! I REMEMBER EARLY 2016! MUST SING! gha

3:08 Ash saying the titles sometimes makes me laugh. "MAY WE HARLEY DREW'D YA!" Imagine him saying that. ya.

3:11 Narrator, she is working hard at her skill because Drew convinced her too in his own way. ADVANCED SHIPPERS HE WAS NOT BEING MEAN AND THAT IS WHY SHE IS TRYING, SHE IS TRYING BECUASE DREW TOLD HER TO AND MADE HER WANT TO IN HIS OWN WAY.

3:23 Masquain flap your wings not your legs

3:26 Flirting!

3:35 Drew is teaching May some tactics :3

Also May has really improved! Character development and attack skills, and based off these episodes it was mainly because of Drew!

3:51 ... that was not somersault. Translations...

3:57 MAGICARP. this is just the best team rocket entrance. Ever. Just imagine a big magicarp jumped into the beach and said "MAGICARP"I laughed at this the first time I saw it~

4:06 :pulls up image of face swap:

4:19 Welp, it was a good run pikachu. Goodbye :)

4:21 NO NOT BEAUTIFLY AND MASQUAIN!!! NOTHING BUT THEM!

4:22 :TAKES SCREENSHOT: Omg they are so scared for their pokemon

4:24 SO YOU HAD TO TAKE MASQURAIN, AND BEAUTIFLY BUT NOW YOU ARE TAKING MAY AND DREW????

4:30 WELL THEN FIX IT JESSIE!!!

4:36 I love this pic... so much...

4:42 silly max! You pressed the hypo turbo engine switch! You should've known :P

4:56 they are now standing next to each other even though last time they were almost across the room, they walked next to each other and called their pokemon at the same time. This is what writers do when they foreshadow.

5:00 I dunno :Looks up I am going to on google: I am going to die. Jessie you are going to die!

5:15 and then you hear wabbafet

Hi team Rocket!

5:25 Imma look that on google... You are at my house.

5:29 No you are in my house

5:35 Thank you Wabaf- I mean James

5:40 but James was trying to cheer you up by being Wabbafet :P

5:49 Thank you Wabaf- I mean Meowth

5:54 Don't worry, their having fun Max.

6:08 People might say that Drew is being mean here and that Drew doesn't like May but this has a second meaning and May didn't get it (just like how she never noticed him flirting)

6:19 :Screenshots:

6:25 So ye ol' pirate likes eh story o' contest shipp'n?

6:30 :Looks up mirage: mi·rage məˈräZH/ noun noun: mirage; plural noun: mirages

an optical illusion caused by atmospheric conditions, especially the appearance of a sheet of water in a desert or on a hot road caused by the refraction of light from the sky by heated air.

okay I get it now! The wynuat!!!

6:42 Leechy berry?

6:50 Teaching May about Leechy berries in his own way.

6:58 I find it amazing that May says she knows everything about them, proceeds to pronounce it wrong, and then Drew point that out. I didn't expect him to.

7:03 :Takes screenshot

7:05 great! I BET THAT IT IS WYNUAT

7:19 ShuuHaru

I told you I love this episode AND WE AREN'T EVEN HALFWAY DONE MWA HA HA AH AHA HA

7:36 Swellow did you find contestshipping

7:43 Don't worry Max!

7:52 wynuat? Also while listening to this I heard Max say "Ya! They might've decided to-" finish this sentence please :3

8:21 Mudkip: points with fin

8:23 "You don't get out much do you..." "Well you just don't know how to have fun!" -Contestshipping

8:33 you know what I want this man to be a chaperone at a school field trip.

8:48 in the time you were gone, James, Jessie and Meowth turned into wabaffets! :D

9:00 WYNUAT WYNUAT REGRET IT?WHY SHOULD I REGRET IT?

9:03 No james. did you hear it say Wabafett? No. It said wynuat.

9:08 at least Meowth knows!

9:12 let me tell ya' lads ye ol' story of how I got 'ere

9:58 People say Drew never gets exited.

10:08 DON'T DIE GUYS YOU ARE MY LIFE

10:20 HOLDING HANDS OMG LIFE SAVER SHIPPING BULBAPEDIA!!! One scene includes a closeup of May and Drew holding hands while falling down a cliff and into a river.

... I'm disappointed in you Bulbapedia

10:27 YOU CAN MAKE IT!!!

10:34 NOT THE WATER FALL FROM ALL OF THE MOVIES!!!

10:45 NOT DREW!!! (MAY GOT DREW SHE WANTS TO HELP HIM D:)

10:49 Bulbapedia: Then May sees that Drew has been knocked out from the impact of the waterfall, she becomes extremely concerned and tries to keep Drew's head above the water while telling him not to worry because she's got him. You missed something, when somebody passes out they stop holding their own weight, meaning that Drew is actually way heavier than if he were conscious, let's see an average 10 year old boy weighs about 90 pounds... May is carrying an almost 100 pound weight, above water, while also trying to keep herself over water

THE THINGS ADRENALIN CAN DO MAN.

10:58 WYNUAT!!! HELP!!!

11:03 the mirage island.

11:15 SAVE THE CHILDREN

11:24 Hopefully save with the wynuat!

11:34 AHOY MATES I 'AVE FOUN' 'UR FRIEN'!

11:46 You did as much as you could...

11:54: "Drew... are you okay? Say something please!" May said in a destressed tone of voice

12:02 omg I ship it so much Bulbapedia? how about you? After being pulled out of the river by the Wynaut, May is seen begging a still unconscious Drew to say something. When he finally wakes up, she is visibly relieved.

12:06 No May... you don't have to be so modest. If it weren't for you he would be dead. he would have drowned. May is too modest.

12:10 Well the wynuat... OMG I WANT ONE NOW! I WANT TO TRAVEL WITH ALL OF THEM! THE WYNUAT REPRESENT CONTESTSHIPPERS!

12:22 Wynuat is a light pokemon, so is there body an illusion? I saw somewhere a theory that their tails are the pokemon and their blue body is a shield... so the blue part is an illusion? "They travel in herds and at night sleep together in groups" all of the contestshippers are wynuats. We stick together.

12:30 Drew is happy :D

12:33 omg the wynuat are so nice!!! "Are these for us?" "Wynuat!" Omgggg I love them so much

12:39 I love Drew in this pic I dunno why

12:42 Your ship is strong.

12:48 yes. God I just wanna hug May and Drew. So. Flippin. Much.

12:54 aww poor team rocket

13:02 Why hello there

13:07 num num num num

13:12 Wanub nub nub nub nub nub nub nub

13:16 oh well hi there

13:19 nub nub nub nub nub nub nub

13:27 There right there

13:31 spin spin spin spin spin spin spin spin

13:34 ye' ol' lad ta'ts t'a 'tory if I ever said i'

13:58 Imma not mention how his last statement was incorrect because this episode is so great.

14:04 You studied their shoes max?

14:08 actually Drew was unconscious so he didn't walk, and the wynuats were in the trees and picked up May and Drew. You are wrong guys.

14:16 WYNUAT HAVING A JUNE 10TH PARTY???

14:23 wynuat join us?

14:30 Let's join the contestshipping celebration!

14:39 wynuat join us too Drew X3

14:47 Bulbapedia? Do you wanna say something? During the Wynauts' "party" shortly after, Drew is seen watching May intently.

Watching her intently ya say? He must be happy that she is having fun :D (btw he likes her)

14:53 After a long journey... we have finally found the thing we have been looking for: food. it has been many mins we have walks around this forest, searching and searching while following our mentorour, Wabaffet, but finally... nvm I'll stop.

14:58 James is great, so is jessie. Now have sour tastes :3

My shoulders heart from typing so I won't tag as much... :'(

15:29 Drew is still watching her have fun :3

15:33 wtf is that! D:

15:37 oh no!!!

15:40 Jessie you love romantic stories give them the berries

15:46 Dew: Oh no! The person who I helped grow as a trainer and saved my life is about to be taken away D:

15:47 unless y'know. You sell her as a slave.

15:55 The wynuat our us, the contestshippers, remember that. Also I love the episode and all, but I'm sick of the female being in danger, wynuat it be the male for once???

16:03 you wait for the wynuat of course :3

16:07 great job guys!!! Keep it up and we will help in the advencement of contestshipping!

16:14 DO YOU TRUST ME?

16:27 you said sift her out at the end... why is she on a rope and you are still vacuming?

16:40 Shiiipppiiiinnnnnggggg

16:50 Aye re'ember 'is cave 'ike tha back o' me ol' 'and

17:13 remember kids, an Arbock turns into a Saviper!

17:23 Death by leaves

17:29 protect our ship!

17:50 ya but Drew didn't tell rosellia WHERE to shoot it, what do they talk telepathicly now?

17:57 Rip a rope with peatals. Sure I'll try that.

17:59 LOOK AT ALL OF US WYNUAT

18:07 and then I remembered Advencedshipping and started to cry becuase even though this is the best contestsipping episode people are going to advanced ship becuase of this scene.

and then they beat team rocket :skips to after that:

19:52 Enjoy the rest of the contestshipping in this episode!

19:54 So Rodrick is actually older Pual. Cool.

20:23 And Drew got May to make pokeblock, in his own way :3

The end (that took me 4 hours to make wtf)

I prmise that once I am done editing the post it will have bold letters and screenshots :3

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buddy-scape · 3 years

Text

What is BUDDY-SCAPE

Let’s face it, Mark Fuckerberg is a bitch, and when I say “bitch” I mean he has a feminine look about him, not that I’m slating LGBT, if anything I’m all for it! Happy pride month to all those involved btw, neither am I slating women or being sexist, I love my wife very much, including my 3 mother’s and my adopted daughter, but yea, Fuckerberg is a complete ponce, he couldn’t organise a gangbang in a convent, Facebook may be an overall site for people to come and chat and make new friends, or is it? Ok let’s recap on the flaws with Facebook. 1-nudes There has been many complaints in the past where women have had conversations with a man they only just fucking met, next thing they know their inboxes or pms have been inundated with pics of the phallic symbol! No decent self respecting lady wants to see it, put it away or chop it off! 2-bullying Let’s be honest, we all have our share of enemies right? But you just wanna go online and chat. Unfortunately despite your privacy settings, the only option you have is the ignore messages features, but should you one day check your other message box to see if let’s say, a long lost family member who is not on your buddy list tries to contact you they can only get through on that other inbox, they don’t have a phone number or email address for you yet so what do they do? So you go check to see if they get in touch and bang, before you know it, your enemies have found you and your pms are full of hate-FUCKING FAIL. 3-Facebook is possibly the most controlling and manipulative of social media ever to hit this planet! Some people just want to make new friends, even with strangers, After all that’s how you make friends in the first place, The olive branch is delivered, the recipient decides to accept, and from there can determine a whole new social relationship, be it common ground, interests or hobbies right? On the other hand not everybody was to be social with strangers and may feel uncomfortable with that hand of friendship so they just may decline politely and walk away! Now Facebook is like that, But they got Add or Block. Now You will get some that will accept others might block you, But sometimes the Facebook algorithm will not even let you add people you have known for years, it will often issue warnings and if you try to make too many new friends it will restrict your account by what we often call Facebook jail, which is an algorithm put in place to limit people’s activity on this site, so really it’s the kind of social network that won’t let you be social. And who wants to be told who they can and can’t have as friends? Not something a British person wants to be told by an American is it? There is also a freedom of speech issue on here. Nobody wants to be trolled or told what to do by politically correct morons. But because of strict features in place on this site you can’t have an opinion, I have noticed incidents where someone has posted a perfectly innocent comment or photo on here, And some spiteful troll has reported it! Thing is Facebook is all automated, it doesn’t have moderators doing a Santa clause watching for who is naughty or nice, it has a bunch of codes and algorithms that tell it that. Or does it? People have been reported for posting something perfectly harmless as a pet pic or something else innocent, but along comes some spiteful bastard and it gets taken down for violating community standards! But you will get some dolly bird with a selfie showing a bit too much, and you try to report it, Facebook comes back with, it doesn’t go against our community standards, How fucked up is that? Now the upsides to Facebook jail is if you get a bully or someone doing something inappropriate on there they are sent to Facebook jail! Only problem is they are let out later to re-offend! 4-Inbox or Pm I have to give Facebook it’s due, It does completely filter out porn or nudity on the timeline,you try to post anything sexual on your main wall, be sure it will be taken down. But what about the personal messages? Five gets you ten that some of you or most of you on

here have had some kind of outside harrasment in PM! You have had porn bots, nudes,threats or other kinds of unpleasant stuff, you try to report it but before you get a chance to screen shot it as evidence, your cyber assailant has removed the message via this new fucking un-send button! Now un-send is quite handy if 1-you sent a pm to wrong person 2-you had a typing error Or 3-you sent a file or msg in error. But let me tell you the problem with it. As stated if you have had for example some perve showing off his dick, before you can get a chance to screenshot and report it he romved it, so really the un-send button is not very helpful! 5-privacy Facebook has had repeated issues regarding human rights and privacy. There’s been numerous reports where your data and accounts are leaked to third parties, this is unacceptable. 6-bots These are bloody pests that spam your inbox linking you to paid porn sites, scams or malicious content and malware and all because Facebook leaked your private data! Media Facebook never seems to pay much attention if you post your favourite music via YouTube. But what if you want to share a favourite song on your timeline in the form of an MP3? And why not? It worked for MySpace users! But try to do it on Facebook and they come down on you like a ton of bricks regarding copyright warnings! Now what puzzles me is years ago when Facebook was less than its greater size, they used to have a feature called sound bytes, you could upload an mp3 on Facebook, but then they took it off, they also took away good stuff like when they used to have an active chatroom app, bit strips and a few other kool apps they decided to fuck right off! And after all if you are just posting an mp3 of a song you like on your wall, and you don’t plan to make profit from it, then wtf is all this copyright bullshit anyway? 7-safety I personally don’t feel that Facebook is completely safe for anybody to be honest. It doesn’t have appropriate safeguards. Trolls will attack you sometimes on group pages just for having an opinion, and admins to not always take much notice, and if you get an admin that is in agreement with the trolls you are screwed! In the past Facebook has been a haven for Islamic groups to radicalise others on here to join terrorist networks and still is today! Facebook has been subject to crime related posts before now! 8-video calling Now this feature always bothered me. Ok you can go live on your timeline where your friends can see, but did you know other people can see you even if you don’t have your settings on public? This is because of privacy leakage and cyber criminals know your every move! Video in inbox is even worse, It’s a haven for perverts to put on a show and again is monitored by cyber criminals! This is why Skype and zoom are probably your best bet when video calling, sometimes WhatsApp and TikTok are not completely safe! 9 Lack of features I noticed that Facebook is kind of drying up when it comes to games and apps,also at the time it had an active chatroom, only thing is it was driven by flash player which generally now is obsolete! 10-ads All wel and good I suppose if you want to advertise a business to hundreds of people on Facebook yet it very seldom regards this as spam, or you will get the odd troll complaining that it is, yet if you try to post your service in multiple groups, Facebook will attribute this to spam and restrict you. This is because Facebook monetises itself with ads from all kinds of sources in and out of itself! So you dare not try to promote outside their promote ads feature-FAIL! So do you still love Facebook now? But consider this! Before you go slating something by someone, ignoring it or scrolling past it because your ego is to high and you think you are too good to sit up and take notice, I want you to bear something in mind! Now regardless of my 10 thoughts on the negative side of Facebook I can’t tell others not to go on it or twist their fucking arms up there backs to go elsewhere, But theres always this thing where you give something a

chance or a trial, and you never know you might actually like it, but if you don’t then at least you took it into account! There’s a lot of ignorance out there from people that slam something or dismiss it just because it’s something not well known, but if I recall right Mark Zuckerberg had not bargained on Facebook becoming the social giant it is now, he essentially developed it just as a network to go on the pull or for hookups! But look at it now, we all have to start somewhere right? So here goes! Imagine a new social network that does not control you. Would never tell you your limits unless you did something inappropriate. Would never allow porn anywhere. A network that has superior features such as apps, games,upload ability for audio and video, with new content added everyday? A network that you control. So I hereby present to you. BUDDYSCAPE What is Buddyscape? Buddyscape is an all new social network from the UK It was founded as a hobby just to see if I had what it took to build a social network, And make it run! It’s really only just starting out,so it’s not really well populated yet but who knows? Time will tell,always does! Rome was not built in a day but all roads lead to it! Features:- 1-No ads, porn or bots! 2-100% Non profit, all services are free! 3- No annoying ads! 4-Buddyscape is monitored by real people-yes real human beings! Non of this stupid bloody code stuff, but although we cannot monitor your private chats, We do expect you to tell us if something is wrong! 5-No Facebook jail here-just 3 warnings and an instant ban thereafter! 6-better safety This goes for adults and minors, if anybody feels somebody is making them uncomfortable or unsafe then one word from you will result in an instant ban,And thanks to no un-send feature you have ample time to screenshot evidence and send it to us for examination from the appropriate authorities! 7- Privacy is paramount We do not use your personal data We do not sell it or pass it on! We don’t even use bloody cookies! 8-No video calling This is more of a safety feature than anything else, And should be regarded as a better experience for both adults and children, and as we do not monitor private chats we can’t tell what is going on, although the lack of video calling features on Buddyscape may deter some from wanting to join, It will also deter those who have sexual intentions toward adults and children. And with other video calling apps like zoom or Skype it’s not really important for it to be there! 9-Friendly to all devices and easy to navigate! There isn’t an app of this on AppStore or play store right now, but one is in process of development! That being said, Buddyscape is fully mobile and tablet friendly with all features running as they should! 10-content Buddyscape has Apps, Games and a chatroom with content updating almost every day! You may upload any music or media you like as long as it is relatively clean! Also includes Spotify integration! See Terms and conditions when signing up. Any questions? Give me a shout! Stu! www.buddyscape.net Stuart Henderson-Founder/CEO.

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