#why did it need to be feminine if you wanted to add a fourth for the fourth season

[eggs-love-loki]

Who on earth approved Enamorus’s design it’s so ugly 😭😭😭

[luzarya]

Performance

Summary: It's just another day for Yuu and Engel at the Mostro Lounge.

ao3 link: here

warnings: none

songs: this

part: 3/3

-> 1 (first)

-> 2 (previous)

word count: 1,950

--

Lively.

That is what one would describe the lounge as. Lively.

There was a singer on stage, singing ever hypnotically. They had captured most of the customer’s attention, drawing them in with their voice.

I'm gonna wear blue

And find a pair of flat black leather shoes

But shine more than a diamond, mine could do

And add something new

Engel took an order from a table, their footsteps unheard as they yelled out the order to those preparing it. In a matter of minutes, the drinks came out, Engel quickly swiped the drinks, already walking back to the table.

They set down the drinks to the Savanaclaw students, who only glanced at the drinks in acknowledgement.

To another table they go.

I drop a hint and then my keys

And then I cast a net

To catch someone who's even searchin, night he won't forget

The night continued on like that, taking orders and serving them. Many more people came in by the sheer number, enraptured by the voice that sang.

Engel was one of the few waiters out there- the other being Octanivelle students, who were inherently less affected by the voice. After all, a siren cannot enchant a fellow mer like they do with non-mer.

Engel stole a glance at the singer- their beloved Yuu. It was near the end of the song, and Engel knew that as soon as Yuu would finish their song, there would be an influx of orders for a proper meal.

Gonna drop the yellow pages

Finally then she had a thrill

To dress me up and make me look like someone else instead

It's time for my rehearsal, the ultimate reversal

You see, I've got it planned

I'm coming back as a man

With the last of the notes of the song, there was an audible increase of chatter, customers talking amongst themselves. Engel didn’t bother to listen to the chatter. They had to focus on their job, otherwise they knew they would make a mistake should they listen in on the gossip.

“How’s the night going, Engel?”

The question broke Engel’s concentration, as they turned to the owner of the new voice. It was Jade, who was manning the counter- it looked like everyone had a drink or a meal, so the vice dorm-head had free time, it seemed.

“Oh! Everything is going well, Jade,” Engel enthusiastically replied, as they gathered another batch of orders, “Is Yuu taking a break right now?”

“Yes,” Jade smiled, “Although, if you wish to catch them before the next song, I suggest you do so in the next few minutes. They have another song coming up, though I suppose you know that already.”

“I see, thanks for the heads up! I’ll see you in a bit, Jade!” Engel nodded as a means of farewell, their hands occupied. They left just as Jade their own farewell, their feet quick to take them to their destination.

After setting down the plates to a group of Scarabia students, Engel then speedily walked to the employee break room. Upon opening the door, Engel squealed in delight, running up to an exhausted Yuu, who readily accepted the unexpected hug.

“Well, hello to you too, my love,” Yuu chuckled, “Careful with the suit. I don’t want your efforts going to waste, aight?”

“Ahhhhh, Yuu!” Engel only squeezed them tighter, “You did wonderfully! You never cease to amaze me with your voice!”

“Thanks?”

“It’s a compliment, silly goose!”

Engel released Yuu from their suffocating hug, eyeing Yuu up and down. They wore a suit- one that Engel had created with their own two hands. It was a tux, but with extended tails (the rear end of the fabric, from what Engel had learned). It suited Yuu well, giving them a slightly more feminine appearance with how long and ruffled the tails were.

“Ah, your makeup is a bit smudged,” Engel noticed. “Let me get the kit Vil gave us…” Engel left Yuu’s side for a moment, retrieving the item, then returning. Utilizing what they had learned from Vil, Engel managed to fix up Yuu’s make up. It was put on in a way that it made Yuu’s face look more masucline than usual. It was enough that no one would recognize Yuu bare-face, allowing them to evade others from recognizing them as the hypnotic voice from the Mostro lounge.

“Thanks, love,” Yuu quietly replied.

“Anything for you, my dear.”

An alarm rang out, disrupting whatever moment Engel and Yuu had. Yuu gave an apologetic look to Engel, who, in turn, only shook their head. Engel pulled Yuu up from their chair, and led them to the door. Before opening the door, Engel raised Yuu’s hand and kissed it softly, watching Yuu’s face become flushed from the small action.

“Good luck!” Engel teased, as they opened the door and left, leaving Yuu a moment to their thoughts. Yuu shook their head after fully processing it, and then left the silence of the room, entering the lounge.

It was time for another performance.

----

It was quiet.

No one would have thought that this was the same lively lounge from a few hours prior. It was empty, save for a few souls that needed to stay behind, and clean. Azul sat at one of the booths, Engel and Yuu in front of him, Jade standing at the end of the table. Unseen, Floyd was elsewhere, the sound of food sizzling distantly heard.

“Thanks to Yuu’s performance, we earned the same amount of profit as last week.” Azul looked over the papers, quick to do the math of how much was earned. He was evidently pleased with the turn of events- a smile staining his beautiful face.

“That’s great,” Engel softly replied. Yuu quietly sat next to them, unable to speak. The performance had left Yuu drained of all energy. It took too much energy to even speak.

“The number of people asking about Yuu increased,” Jade casually commented. Engel raised a brow, slinging an arm around Yuu.

“Is that so?”

Jade noticed the interaction, and chuckled, “Fufu, worry not, I do not believe they were asking for malicious reasons, Engel.”

“If you say so,” Engel happily chirped, though there was an edge to their words. Azul briefly glanced at them, but didn’t comment on it.

A slam grabbed their attention, as everyone turned to look at the source of the noise. In very typical fashion, it was Floyd- who kicked the door open, a large plate of some sort of pasta in his grasp.

The eel mer sauntered over, placing the large plate right besides the papers.

“Floyd, careful with that.” Azul moved his papers, scooting over to the end of the table and moving the papers, so that they wouldn’t be any stains. Jade took a seat, as did his brother, although Floyd sat next to Engel.

“So,” Floyd began, giving some utensils to his brother- who graciously took them without a second thought. “How long will the contract with Shachi-chan and Selkie-chan last?”

Yuu didn’t say a word.

“Hmm,” Engel pondered, “I think it’s for life?” They had signed the contract, although they had forgotten most of the details already- it’s been about a month or so since they did.

“Correct. It’s for life,” Azul paused his reading, “Yuu will be under my employment until retirement, since I’ll be providing them a means to live once they graduate from here.”

“Oh?” Floyd smiled as he took another bite of his meal. Engel eyed the plate- it was large. And the twins already ate a good small portion of it.

“What about when we’re fourth years, and the year after?” Jade questioned, wiping his mouth. It was a valid question, considering the fact that fourth years would have to leave the school on internships, then there was the fact that Engel and Yuu were technically a grade below them.

“Who do you take me for, Jade?” Azul grinned, propping his arms onto the table, “I have a plan to ensure that the business continues when we’re in our fourth year. After Engel and Yuu have finished their fourth years, I’ll make sure that they’ll live comfortably down in the deep blue sea.”

“Really?” Engel’s eyes sparkled with hope, “Thank you!”

“No, no need. I have to thank you,” Azul corrected, “The two of you brought in more profit than I would have by myself. Truly, Yuu’s voice is astounding- it’s quite the good thing that their voice is almost useless against mer. And you Engel, you brought in a few customers yourself, if a bit fewer than Yuu had brought in. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Yuu glared at Azul, but they remained silent. Engel wondered how they brought in customers, but they had a suspicion it had to do with the fact they were a selkie- Engel didn’t quite like the implication of it, but they too, remained silent.

Azul continued, “With the profits, it’s more than enough to pay for your living expenses, now and in the future.”

“Oh? So Shachi-chan and Selkie-chan are gonna stay with us forever?~” Floyd appeared to brighten up at the idea, turning to look at Engel.

“It does seem that way, fufu.” Jade smiled. Engel felt unease by it, although they couldn’t pinpoint as to why.

“Nonetheless, we’re doing well, financially.” Azul sighed, picking up the papers and organizing them into a folder. He glanced at the clock on the distant wall, “We should finish this up and head to bed.”

With that, they cleared the table.

----

Ramshackle dorm was quiet, not a sound heard, save for the subtle footsteps. Engel and Yuu made their way up to their dorm room that they shared. Engel clutched onto their pelt, which was large enough for Engel and Yuu to fit inside as they had came from the Octanivelle dorm in the cold.

Engel never had their pelt more than 20 feet away from them.

They entered their room- spotting a snoring Grim on the bed. On performance days, Grim was left alone to his own devices. The two mer quickly shifted out of their work clothing, donning comfortable clothing. They gently moved Grim, laying themselves down. They faced one another, Engel’s pelt laid over them, with Grin right at top.

“Today was nice.”

“Yea. It was.” Yuu lazily smiled, their eyes droopy.

“Sleep well, my darling.”

“G’night, love.”

Yuu quickly fell asleep, but Engel didn’t. Sure, they were tired, but they remained up to look at Yuu’s sleeping facial features.

They recalled the time when Yuu was introduced to them, after their mother was taken away. They recalled when Yuu had become their friend, and consequently, their beloved. They recalled the painful moment when Yuu was taken by the carriage after the two of them were drawn into the forest. They recalled how they searched for Yuu for months. They recalled when they, too, were finally brought to this world, better than the old, and thus reuniting with their beloved. They recalled Yuu’s first performance, and many more moments.

It was hard, no doubt. It was one plight after another, but they stood together through it all, even when they were separated for a good amount of time. Engel touched their bracelet- its warmth brought a smile to their face.

Sure, they’re practically bound to Azul via contract for the rest of their lives, but that didn’t matter. They no longer resided in the old, barbaric world. No longer did Engel have to fear the worst, and no longer did they have to worry.

After all, didn’t they promise to stay together, even through hell itself?

Engel fell asleep with that last thought on their mind.

[moominquartz]

rating: G fandom: Steven Universe prompt: Secret Relationship word count: 1.4k requester: @krisseycrystal

Sharing an Ube Roll After Hours

In the Spacetries Bakery, past closing time, Lars and the Cool Kids have a heart-to-heart. 

The ship in this fic is Lars/Jenny/Buck/SC, and it was so much fun! I haven’t written a poly ship in a long time. I hope y’all like it! It takes place pre-Little Graduation.

[Read on AO3]

-

“I… I can’t believe it.” 

Lars struggles to wrap his head around the idea as he stares at the three of them. Sitting in his bakery after hours, the doors are locked and the lights are dimmed. The original trio sits at one of the only booths in the joint, all splitting an ube roll, while Lars leans against the counter by his empty display.

“Seriously. All of you?”

“Sure.” Jenny says it like it means absolutely nothing at all. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world to admit. “I like Buck and Sour Cream, and they both like me and they like each other. So why should we have to pick and choose?”

Lars’s brain is broken. “B-but… That’s so easy.” And it’s so hard? Why can’t he comprehend this?

“’Sides,” Buck says around another bite of subtle sweetness, “it’s pretty fun to go on a date with more than one person.”

Is it? Lars has never done that before. The only person he’s ever dated was Sadie, and… 

“How come I never knew? How long have you guys been...?”

“A few years now,” Jenny answers with a grin. 

“You never knew because we didn’t want you to know,” Sour Cream adds, which is honest if nothing else. “It was nothin’ personal. Most people don’t know, and that’s how we like it.”

“Less people being nosy,” Buck agrees.

“I tell my daddy that I’m gonna get an apartment with my two ‘besties,’ and he’s all about it.” Jenny laughs. “But if I told him I was dating two bi guys, he’d probably flip a lid.”

“H-he would…?” Lars’s voice is more nervous than he should be.

“Over the two guys thing,” Sour Cream clarifies.

Buck nods. “Not because he’s biphobic or anything.”

“That’d be super lame.”

“Yeah. Biphobia is for chumps.”

Lars wants to beg them to slow down, but at the same time, he’s realizing that… this actually makes a lot of sense.

How many times has he seen them walk down the boardwalk, arm-in-arm? How many times has he seen them on the beach, curled up a little too close; had hands linked in what looked like a prayer and broken up too quickly as he came near? How often has he felt like a ‘fourth wheel,’ on the outside looking in? 

He’d always chalked the latter up to his own intense social anxiety, but maybe there’d been more to it. Maybe he’d felt like that because there’d been evidence for it right in front of him, and he just hadn’t known this kind of thing was possible.

“I’m… really happy for you guys.” They all turn to look at him, blinking in surprise, and Lars feels… surprisingly heartfelt. He laughs, the sound less nervous, softer. “I’m real honored you’re opening up about this to me. I promise I won’t spill the beans to anyone.”

Jenny sighs. “Oh, honey.” 

Lars blinks.

“We’re not giving you all the back story because we think you’re a super chill friend.” Buck pauses. “Although, you are a super chill friend.”

“Th...thanks?”

“We’re asking you, dude.” Sour Cream shifts so he’s no longer got an arm wrapped around Buck. He picks up the fork, breaks off a piece of ube roll, and extends it to him. “Make our trio a quartet.”

Huh.

“Huh?!”

“Everybody knows you need four wheels on a car,” Buck says with a solemn nod, like that’s some wise proverb everyone’s grandma says.

“Four pieces to a band; vocalist, guitar, keyboard, drums.” Jenny hums in agreement.

“W-wait, wait, wait!” Now he desperately needs them to pump the metaphorical brakes on this conversation! He’s waving his hands wildly, face burning — which shouldn’t be possible because he’s undead, and yet! Apparently dying doesn’t absolve you from the mortifying ordeal of having your embarrassments broadcast to the entire world! “What are you guys talking about? Me?”

“Is… that a no?” Sour Cream asks, crestfallen, fork setting back against the plate.

“It—it—” It’s … not a no? That revelation slaps him in the face. Hasn’t he always been envious of what they’ve had? And here they are, inviting him into it. So what’s his hang up? 

“It’s… It’s a why me?” The question comes across as somehow both self-deprecating and disrespectful to them, but he can’t wrap his mind around it. “You guys were looking for a fourth, and you picked me?”

“Well, sure!” Though she says it with cheer in her voice, there’s a look on Jenny’s face that Lars has seen too often and knows too well. She’s reading him, and she’s concerned. “You’ve practically been one of us for like, two years now. And you’re a real sweet guy, Lars. You’re like a pineapple.”

“Prickly on the outside and soft on the inside, huh?” Lars sighs.

“Actually.” Buck speaking up surprises him; he even removes his sunglasses, which almost never happens. “I think you’ve become softer over the years, man. You’ve got a lot more emotional intelligence than you did as a teen and you’ve become more genuine, too. We all have. And it’s really shining through in you.”

Sour Cream smiles. “I’m bad at words, but you’re pretty hot, too.”

“I…” His voice fails him suddenly, and his eyes start misting, and it’s not because of the ‘hot’ thing.

It’s partly because of the ‘hot’ thing.

“Y-you guys would… seriously want me around?” His voice breaks, and it’s pretty pathetic. “All of you?” 

“Of course,” Jenny says with all the sincerity in the world. She pats the empty seat next to her, raising an eyebrow, an open invitation.

Lars has never thought of himself as lovable.

He’s made mistakes. More than anyone else ever has, probably. His social anxiety led to him a landslide of them: purposefully throwing school so he wasn’t seen as ‘nerdy;’ overemphasizing his own masculinity to the point of toxicity, because heaven forbid someone see him as even slightly feminine; mistreating Ronaldo, who used to be his best friend; and then he repeated that mistake, over and over and over. With Steven, it was like water off a duck’s back; that boy didn’t care what anyone thought of him, and he had enough in him to love every person in the entire universe.

But Sadie… Sadie hadn’t been like that. She hadn’t deserved it — more so than anyone else. She’d been kind, and caring, and sensitive. And Lars had needed someone like that, someone willing to pry him open and listen to him when he needed it, someone to trust him enough to let him do the same. But she wasn’t ‘cool,’ and he couldn’t be allowed to be seen with her like that, and so he did things like pretend he hated her when she wasn’t around and like he didn’t want to be with her when she was, and then he still expected her to be there for him and—

“Hey.”

He blinks and realizes he’s crying.

Sour Cream has a hand on his shoulder, concern on his face, and Lars doesn’t even remember the three of them standing up, but suddenly they’re there, and then Buck pulls him in for a tight hug. Then Jenny joins, and the three of them are surrounding him, holding him, enfolding him in all the warmth and love he never thought he’d ever earn.

And slowly, through the tears, Lars gives a soft laugh, arms wrapping around them in turn. “Hey, uh… if you’ll have me… then. Yes.”

Jenny squeals, leaning in to plant a solid kiss on his cheek. The motion is dizzying, something he’s seen Shep and Sadie do dozens of times and felt the green monster burning in his chest — not for Sadie, but for what they had. 

“You guys… wanna head back to my place?” Lars asks, cheeks heating up, even though this is no different than anything else he’s ever asked of them. “There’s… this new horror flick on Webflicks, if you guys are up for it.”

“Sweet. I love sampling that stuff.”

“Sure thing, babe, I’ve been meaning to see that one.”

“Buck is pleased.”

Buck takes Lars’s hand as they all separate, and it’s the smallest thing, but Lars feels his spirits lift, heart beating as fast as it can, to do the same things they always do in a new, exciting context.

Lars is pleased, too.

[cavedraconem]

Non-Binary Language in Living Latin

(Disclaimer: I am not non-binary, nor are any of my best friends non-binary. I would just like to live in a world where non-binary Latin speakers would be able to talk about themselves, and have others talk about them.)

Latin has particular issues when someone wants to use the language to talk about non-binary people. Grammatical gender is built into the language at a fundamental level and is impossible to avoid in any reasonable context. Unlike in English, it is not just a question of replacing some personal pronouns and nouns - large categories of adjectives, some common verb forms and a variety of other pronouns all mark the gender of the referent. And of course in the language’s initial iteration (the Romans) there was very little cultural awareness of people outside the gender binary, so the language doesn’t really come with anything to build on. (Although see Catullus 63, where a young man castrates himself in service of Cybele and his grammatical gender starts oscillating; here it is as a rap.)

That was all well and good for the Romans; but I speak Latin today in a world where more and more people are openly neither male nor female. How do I refer to them, and how do they refer to themselves? 

Here are some other solutions I have seen:

Use the neuter: Latin comes with a built-in third option, so why not use that? This is apparently not uncommon in German. However, in Latin the neuter is generally used for objects and very rarely for people, equivalent to the English ‘it’. Some people might be ok with that, but I suspect others would not be.

Use the masculine: In Latin a person of unknown gender, or a hypothetical person, is described in the masculine (si quis advenit, qui est altus...) However, there is a difference between a person of unknown gender, and one whose gender is known but neither male nor female.

Alternate grammatical genders: What’s fine for Catullus is fine for us? Not really - he was writing an isolated poem in a semi-mythological setting, we want something that can describe real people, every day.

Use the singular they: Ouch. This would be a lazy borrowing from English, mess with the grammatical structure of sentences, and wouldn’t even solve the problem - you still have to choose masculine or feminine in the plural!

Latin gender is grammatical, not social, so just pick one: “Hey, I know you’re not male or female, but could you please choose whether you want people to refer to you as male or female?” 

Avoid or abbreviate gendered terms: This is maybe fine for a short document, but completely untenable in a living language. Even some verb forms would be off-limits!

What Living Latin needs for non-binary people is a really robust solution. We can’t just come up with a couple of new pronouns and endings and call it a day - to get the full range of the language there need to be entire paradigms. But that causes its own difficulties, because the newer the paradigms are the more difficult they are to understand in speech, and the less likely people are to actually learn them. We want something that is distinctively non-binary, but also something that fits into the structures of the language, and can be understood even by someone who hasn’t sat down with the new textbook.

So here’s my idea. Our main problem is with the nouns and adjectives of the first/second declensions, which come in basically unambiguous masculine, feminine or neuter. But the other declensions are less clear-cut - adjectives of the third don’t distinguish between m. and f., and the fourth and fifth contain nouns of both kinds. We already know a bunch of ‘gender neutral’ paradigms. So why don’t we just borrow endings from another declension for use on stems from the 1st/2nd? 

For example: I see my non-binary friend, who is very kind. I borrow some endings from the third declension to refer to them: amicem video. benignissimis est amicis. Sure, it kind of just looks like I’m making a grammatical error, accidentally using 3d endings on 1/2d stems. But I have also succesfully referred to my friend without assigning them a binary gender. What’s more, it wasn’t very difficult - I already know the third declension endings. I don’t need to invent or memorise anything new, 

I have two potential candidates for this borrowing: the 3d i-stem endings (-is, -em, -is etc) and the 5d endings (-es, -em, -ei etc). They are both completely unambiguous with the 1/2d endings, while the fourth declension dropped out of contention for seeming a little too much like 2d masc. They each have their own benefits and drawbacks. 

3d i-stems (parens mihi amatis est):

A very well known set of endings that is already used for adjectives. Very natural and unobtrusive to use in normal language. 

Truly epicene/gender neutral.

Sounds a bit like you’re just making a mistake. This could be good or bad - you may not want to sound like you’re making a mistake, but also you won’t have to explain what you’re doing unless someone tries to correct you (which hopefully they shouldn’t, by the way I was taught). 

5d (beniginissimes est amices. a parentibus amatebus visa sum.)

The fifth declension is less used and doesn’t normally have any adjectives. This makes it a bit more difficult to use in normal speech. 

On the other hand, this also makes it more obvious that you’re not just making a grammatical error - you’re doing something distinct and different. 

It actually has a slightly archaic Latin sound to it, which *I* like.

The fifth declension generally contains more feminine nouns, but there are exceptions (in particular dies can be either gender). 

Maybe some issues disambiguating between the nom. sing and nom/acc plural which all end in -es?

Either way, we are essentially creating a fourth grammatical category for the 1st/2nd declensions: masculine, feminine, non-binary and neuter. This can then be applied to nouns (like amicus), adjectives (like benignus) and participles/verb forms (like amatus). I do realise that this is kind of an ‘add-on’ to the gendered grammatical structure of the language, when maybe it would be preferable to tear that down entirely. But I don’t have the ability to rewrite the whole language, and if I did no one would use it. This is an attempt to balance those competing demands, using the resources Latin already has. 

Note that a few pieces are still missing: both the vocabulary to describe non-binary people and the wide variety of pronouns of various kinds that Latin graces us with. But I hope this is a good start. 

I guess this is the point where I ask for some feedback, given that I know a lot about Latin but haven’t experienced life off the gender binary. Non-binary people (whether Latinists or not): what do you think of my suggestions and do they seem like ways you might want to be described? Which of my two options seems better? And Latinists: would you use these endings in speech or writing? Any suggestions for the missing pieces?

TLDR: Local woman mixes stems and endings from different Latin declensions, passes it off as gender neutral language.

[drlauralwalsh]

The Lusty World of Lesbian Widows

I’m really frustrated that COVID has gotten in the way of my grief achievements.  I figured 3 months in, I’d be doing the television talk show circuit, sold my book, and set up a non-profit foundation.  If only this pandemic hadn’t gotten in my way.

In my life before, if I spent too much time alone (like, over 4 hours), I’d start texting my sister-in-law that I was unsupervised and feral.  Uh oh.  I’d start going down rabbit holes and come up with weird stuff like how buff male kangaroos get.  Or questioning if my parents were really married since I couldn’t find a record of their union in the limited online databases. I could have paid for real records but I’m cheap.  I know, sounds crazy.  

But now, I’m alone for long stretches of time.  I’ve managed to channel some of this agitated energy into writing essays that speak to weirdos like me (shout out to my fellow weirdos!).  I spend hours researching (me-searching as we said in grad school) and discovering overachieving methods to dam the waters of my new spouse-less life.

I’m not just your average widow.  Oh no no no.  Of course, I have to be special so allow me to tack on some extra layers - lesbian, stepmom, and young (-ish, right?).  At 45, I have finally found a way to inch back towards the youth and relevance lost as you enter the fourth decade of life.  Today, I’d like to let you into the wonders of lesbianism.

I’m going to assume you’re not submerged in this subculture so I’ll tell you some secrets.  People are fascinated by lesbians.  To be fair, we live pretty mysterious lives.  We leave you hanging on profound questions like who takes out the trash and how do they have sex without a woody woodpecker? Sometimes, other communities get lumped in with us but they are actually quite different.  Of these witches, spinsters, and women who wear comfortable shoes, I only belong to only one of those so far.  I’m working on my stovetop skills and hope to someday conjure a penis.  Not a real one; that would be weird.

Amazon’s book market best represents the variable interests of our fan club members.  Right after my wife died, I launched a search for books on “lesbian widows.”  You’d think the algorithms would have pegged me by now (ha ha).  I was dismayed yet amused by the grand interpretation of what Amazon thought I meant.  The following is an unedited list of the top books recommended for me to purchase under these auspicious terms:

Lesbian Widows: Invisible Grief

by Victoria Whipple (Kindle $25.98, Paperback $46.95, Hardcover $907.71)

I’m impressed that the first one actually included my search terms but dang, it’s expensive to be a lesbian widow.  To be fair, you can rent it for $9.21 a month.  It’s also terribly niche within an already  small niche - invisible lesbian widows?  Published in 2014, you’d think it would be a little more hip.  Maybe it’s because I live in Chicago but even as an introvert, I’m decently visible.  Still, glad it exists and appeals to all eight people who each gave it a 5-star rating.

The Care and Feeding of Waspish Widows: Feminine Pursuits

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I must quote the basic plot description for you to get the full impact of this novel: “The last thing the widow wants is to be the victim of a thousand bees. But when a beautiful beekeeper arrives to take care of the pests, Agatha may be in danger of being stung by something far more dangerous…”  The cover depicts said wapish widow sit/leaning against her handsome, pants suit-clad beekeeper.  At the much less expensive price for kindle and paperback, I’m only slightly put off by labeling bees as pests.

Odd women?: Spinsters, lesbians and widows in British women's fiction, 1850s–1930s

by Emma Liggins (Kindle $73.24, Hardcover $95.00)

The period is a little off but at least it includes diverse, international women.  I was looking for a self help book but this seems slightly more academic.  Not sure why there’s a question mark in the title as there’s no question about our oddity.  The description reads, “Women outside heterosexual marriage in this period were seen as abnormal, superfluous, incomplete and threatening, yet were also hailed as ‘women of the future’.”  Aw shucks, I *am* ahead of my time.  Dang that price tag!  No renting option for this one.

The Grass Widow

by Nanci Little (Kindle $0.00, Paperback $14.95)

It’s unclear where we’ll find the lesbian widow in this 2010 novel but the description yields some mild foreshadowing: “As a familiar civilization fades into the distance, she is nineteen, unmarried and pregnant, and has no reason to think that the year 1876 won't be her last...Joss, in her brother's clothes and severely lacking in social graces, has no time to mollycoddle a pampered, pregnant New England lady. It's work or starve, literally. There are no servants, no laborers - just a failing farm, impending winter and the two of them to face it together.”  It sounds like the shameless Joss needs her own dose of mollycoddling (wink, wink) to get through the chilly nights.

Her Widow

by Joan Alden (Paperback $18.00)

More popular with 10 people giving it an almost stellar rating, this tomb’s immodest summary insists it belongs on every bookshelf.  YOU WILL PAY ATTENTION TO US!  That’s how I read it.  Seriously, of all the books this one comes the closest to what I actually wanted.  Waiting for the kindle unlimited edition….(having no man money makes us frugal).

Made For You 3

by K. Shantel (Kindle $4.99)

Apparently, Made For You 1 and 2 were not as popular. Despite the fair price, this tale omits widows opting for the groundbreaking combination of lesbian romance and football.  While tragedy surely threads through this plot, it falls short of crossing the threshold from football to death (it probably does).  Shocker, I defy the sporty lesbian trope and instead prefer to spend time among my vast, treasured collection of power tools.  Just to be clear, I mean the ones for home repair (get your mind out of the gutter!)  If the lady protagonists of this book had been thrown together building a Habitat for Humanity house with their 10 dogs using only their Subaru to transport lumber, I might be more captivated.

The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics, Book 1 of 1: Feminine Pursuits Series

by Olivia Waite (Kindle $3.99, Paperback $6.99)

I’ll give the author the benefit of believing there are more to come in the series. The title of this one intrigues me (I may steal it later) but sadly, it also defaults to worn stereotypes.  This collection of lesbian tropes finds my kin scoring yet another toaster for the conversion of a hapless straight lady.  Lesbians for the win!  Lady Reads-A-Lot gave it 5 stars and commented, “This was poetic and lovely, full of beautiful descriptions that knew exactly how to leave you breathless and then stop just before tipping into tedious.”  I’m guessing she means the sex scenes?  If you’ve ever watched any real lesbian porn, you know that it’s far better for the participants than the viewers.

Erotica: The Forbidden Adventures Of A Grieving Widow (Seduction, Lust, Lesbian Sex, Interracial Sex, Bondage and More)

by Amy King (Kindle $0.00)

This one is hands down, my favorite title and you can’t beat the price.  The author keeps the marketing short to sell you her novel: “All Ava wanted was to erase the memory of her recently departed husband. Little did she know that in trying to do so, she would experience mind-blowing adventures and lust across the globe. Ava would never be the same again as she ravenously eats up whatever adventure blows her way.”  Even though it’s another toaster novel, as a grieving widow ‘ravenously eats up’ does resonate.  I don’t think she means jars of cookie butter.

Of the eight masterpieces on the list, five are romance novels, one is academic, and two are in the ballpark (excuse the sports metaphor).  Scrolling further only yields more erotica including another novel titled, “Football Widows (lesbian)” by Amanda Mann and Deadlier Than the Male Publications.  Now I get it that we make up a small percentage of the population but this is some seriously messed up shit.  

Removing the lesbian and searching only for ‘widow’ yields twenty pages of books. I know what you’re thinking - “C’mon Laura, what’s the big deal?  Just get the standard widow book.”  And believe me, I’ve amassed quite the collection and am waiting for just the right intersection of not too devastated but ready to sob.  Bear with me for a sec - think about how we just want to be seen when we’re at our lowest.  When I first typed those words into the search bar, I just wanted something that used wife instead of husband.  

Every grief has specific salient elements and it’s too super niche to touch on all at the same time.  It would be weird and/or maybe nice to find another lesbian widow stepmom psychologist who lost her cop wife of almost 5 years to a PTSD-induced psychotic break and suicide.  That’s a Subaru full of identities.  If this person did exist, I’d be suspicious we’re the target on Incel trolls, longing to read the words of more seductive, witchy lesbians.  Instead, I plan on taking the high road.  I’ll get my knowledge and support from those who accept me by the category.  Obviously, one out of one lezzies agree there’s a market for lesbian widow self help guides - at the right price.  I may still write that book but if I want to get rich, I’ll definitely have to add more sex scenes.

[ecfandom]

Polis 433 Ch. 11 Sneak Peek

Hi babes, I’ve fallen a little behind on my new updating schedule, so I wanted to shoot you all a sneek peek to tide you over. The full chapter is almost done. I may be able to get it posted tomorrow if my day goes smoothly. Cheers!

“What the hell happened?” Elliot growled as she slid on her knees to Lexa’s side.  Lexa was pale and deadly still. She patted Lexa’s cheek, then checked her pulse.

“I don’t know,” Erin said, a hint of panic in her voice. “She asked to go to the bathroom. I got pulled away with that code and when I came back...”

“Her pulse is thready. Get Taryn, I can’t lift her by myself. Bring a cart.” Erin nodded and ran out of the bathroom. Elliot turned back to Lexa, cradling her head in her hands. “Lexa, hey. Come on now. Hang on.”

She put her fingers back to her pulse, only to find it was gone. “No, no, don’t you do this,” she said, swinging her leg over Lexa’s hips and starting compressions. “I did not piece you back together in the middle of a desert for you to die on a bathroom floor, you asshole. Come on!”

Taryn burst through the door, followed by Erin and the crash cart. “What’s going on?”

“It’s Lexa. She’s arresting,” Elliot panted.

“How long?”

“Just happened.”

“I need one of epi,” Taryn said to Erin, calm, but urgent. As soon as the injector was in Taryn’s hand, she jammed it into Lexa’s upper arm, watching Elliot as she listened to Lexa’s chest with her stethoscope. A second passed, then another.

“Got her,” Elliot breathed, yanking her scope out. “Let’s get her on a bed. Page cardio.”

Within seconds, Lexa was on a bed in a trauma bay, covered in monitoring equipment as the ER staff worked to stabilize her stressed heart.

“Hey, what’ve you got?” Dr. Katherine Daniels, head of cardio, breezed through the doorway with a fourth-year resident on her heels. Where Taryn and Elliot were all hard, angular, and handsome lines, Katherine was the spitting image of Aphrodite— feminine, powerful, and drop-dead gorgeous. Her golden hair was half up, showing off her striking cheekbones and brilliant green eyes. Her long, chin-length bangs tucked behind her ears framed her face perfectly. As beautiful as she was, all of it paled in comparison to her brilliant mind and unparalleled skill.

“Lexa Woods, 29…” Elliot paused, doing the math in her head. “More like, 30 year old female. Sudden collapse, thready pulse, then arrest. Got her back with compressions and epi.”

“How long was she down?” Dr. Daniels stepped forward and listened to Lexa’s heart.

“Less than a minute.”

“So no brain damage.”

“Not unless I missed something.”

“I’ve got an EKG,” Taryn announced, detaching the paper report and studying it. “She’s tachy, but no sign of infarction.”

“Her pulse is still weak. Let’s get her some inotropic support,” Katie ordered. “Start a Dobutamine drip at 3 mics. Add norepinephrine for bp, and get a blood gas. Let’s get Respiratory down here, her lungs are a mess.”

“You call Respiratory,” Taryn said to one of her residents. “I’ll get the blood gas.”

“History of heart disease?” Katie asked Elliot, watching Lexa’s blood pressure even out as the meds entered her system.

“Myocardial infarction in 2007 caused by mass hemorrhaging from multiple GSWs.” Elliot answered.

Katie looked up at Elliot, surprised by the dramatic history. When she noticed the brewing storm in Elliot’s piercing, blue eyes, it made sense. “She’s a veteran,” she stated, rather than asked.

“Yeah.”

“You knew her?”

“Pieced her back together in Afghanistan myself,” Elliot said, looking down at Lexa with a hint of fondness. “She’s never had any issues. She’s a firefighter. She worked the factory fire today, so my guess is CO poisoning and hypoxia.”

“What the hell is she doing as a firefighter with a history of infarction? There’s no way that’s a good idea.”

“Yeah, try telling that to Lexa.”

“Does she have a death wish?”

Elliot grinned. “Death is afraid of this one. Trust me.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “Butches,” she said, shaking her head. “Alright, let’s get her admitted.”

***

It was a beautiful summer morning. So beautiful it was hard to imagine the factory fire the town had suffered just two nights prior. It was a paradoxical dichotomy that left Clarke feeling slightly unsettled and on edge, as if she were forgetting something. As she dug a hole in her flower beds and planted her Zinnias, she ran through her patient list, assured by the end of it that she’d checked everyone, and all were covered through her day off.

She sat back on her heels and wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her garden-gloved hand. All was well it seemed, and yet she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. She looked over at the other side of her garden bed and watched Ellie and Raven planting side-by-side, a smile crossing her face at the sight of her dirty baby.

“You’re going to need a bath later, Ms. Bean,” she called out, laughing when Ellie turned to her with a giant smile and face full of soil.

“I’m going to run her inside real quick for some water,” Raven said, hoisting the two-year-old onto her hip. “Want anything?”

“Water would be good, thanks.”

Raven watched her for a moment, her eyes narrow against the slanted morning sun. “You okay? You’re awfully quiet this morning.”

Clarke nodded and began digging another hole. “Fine. Just tired.”

Raven watched her for a moment longer, not buying it. But if Clarke was one thing, it was stubborn. “Okay, well. Let me know.”

Clarke looked up once again and smiled, both appreciative and unnerved by how well her best friend read her. “I’m good.”

Raven nodded and  walked inside, leaving Clarke alone with whatever it was plaguing her thoughts. “What should we drink, Elle? Water? Milk?”

“Juice!” Ellie squealed, leaning towards her high-chair in the eat-in kitchen dining space.

“Of course. How silly of me to think anything different.” Raven settled her into the chair and crossed to the fridge, swinging it open with a sigh. “You mom’s fridge looks like an actual adult human being lives here. My fridge has exactly one string-cheese, old milk and a six pack of beer in it.” She leaned back and peered around the door at the toddler. “This is why I’m single, isn’t it?”

Ellie paid her no mind. Her curiosity was fixed on the security panel by the back door that sat inches from her highchair. Her stubby arm reached out for it, fingers tracing the colorful buttons.

“Don’t play with that, Ellie,” Raven called, then dipped her head back into the fridge.

“It’s toy,” Ellie called to her.

“No, not a toy. It looks like one of your toys, though doesn’t it?”

“Yes. Colors!”

“Yep, lots of colors.” Raven poured Ellie a glass of apple juice, then two glasses of water for she and Clarke. She walked the apple juice over to Ellie and leaned back against the kitchen table. It was early, but the day was already warm, and she drank greedily from her glass as Ellie did the same from her snippy cup. Ellie looked at her, puzzled for a moment, her little face frowning in consternation.

“Wexa?” She asked, handing Raven her empty juice cup. Raven looked at it, confused.

“That’s a cup,” she corrected. “Sippy cup.”

“Wexa!” Ellie shrieked.

“I don’t know what that means, kiddo. I’m sorry.”

“She’s looking for Lexa,” Clarke said, coming down the hall. She stripped her hands free of her gardening gloves, and kicked off her shoes and socks until she was barefoot. She took the cup from Ellie and filled it with water, handing it back to her. She ignored the pout Ellie threw her way at the discovery that there was no juice inside.

“That’s...interesting,” Raven said, cautiously.

“Don’t read into it. She’d get attached to a shoebox if you let her.”

“That’s no way to talk about my very intelligent goddaughter with better taste than you.”

“Let’s not start with this again, pease?”

Raven considered letting it go, given how tired Clarke sounded, but her curiosity got the better of her. “Start what again? Your attraction to the insanely hot fire fighter that literally no one on earth would blame you for because she is the sexiest thing alive? The same chick your daughter likes so much she’s asking for her by name? Or was there something else you were referring to.”

“Raven.”

“I heard she saved twelve people herself in the factory fire. That’s hot, dude.”

“That’s reckless,” Clarke snapped, that pestering nag from before fraying her nerves and sparking into anger. “She’s reckless and irresponsible. I don’t care how hot she is, that’s what matters. Behavior matters.”

Raven sat quietly for a moment, recalibrating. Something had obviously touched a nerve in Clarke, but she wasn’t quite sure what it was. Talking about behavior, specifically recklessness, could be about her father. It could be about Jack. It was hard to say with Clarke, her sweet, but excruciatingly private friend. “She’s a first responder, Clarke,” she said gently, careful to tread lightly. “What we do is inherently risky. I don’t think Lexa takes any unnecessary risks.”

“She has a hero complex,” Clarke retorted, leaning back against the counter while she pressed the cold glass of ice water to her cheek.

“Are you sure she’s not just a hero?”

“Are you sure you’re not the one attracted to her?”

“Oh, I am attracted to her. Who isn’t? But that’s not the point.”

“Then hurry up and make it, please.”

“I just think maybe you’re a little hard on her, given the things you’ve been through,” Raven said, dipping a toe into the uncharted waters of Clarke’s psyche. When Clarke said nothing, Raven smiled sympathetically at her. “No one would blame you for being cautious. I’m just saying, maybe don’t knock it til you try it. I think you’d be surprised at how great Lexa is.”

“No, I wouldn’t be,” Clarke said, the frustration apparent in her voice. “I know how great she is. Outside of her work, she is the most kind, gentle and stunningly attractive woman I have ever met. But she’s also careless, and I have a small child with a big heart to consider.”

“And your own heart to consider, right?” Raven asked quietly, cocking her head to the side in an attempt to find Clarke’s lowered gaze. When Clarke looked up and scowled at her, Raven smiled. “I don’t think doing her job makes her careless,” she said, coming to stand next to her. She hopped up onto the counter and nudged Clarke’s arm with her knee. “The opposite, in fact. I think she cares deeply about what she does.”

Clarke shook her head. “ Doing her job is pulling those people out of the fire. Being careless is not getting checked out by a doctor after working a chemical fire. She was breathing in CO2 and who knows what else. That’s going to strain her heart. Hell, it could even kill her. She knows all that, as a paramedic, and still, she didn’t want to be admitted because she had paperwork to do? She has a hero complex, and she’s reckless, Raven. I don’t doubt that she cares very much about her job, but when it comes to herself, she’s careless and irresponsible. I’m sorry, but I just don’t have room for it in my life. I can’t care about someone like that.” She pushed off of the counter and crossed to Ellie, lifting her out of the highchair and onto her hip.

“Did you text her?” Raven asked after a moment, both sad for her friend’s guarded heart, and amused at Clarke’s inability to see how much she already cared.

“Yes,” Clarke said, quietly as if ashamed to admit it. “Twice the night of the fire and a few times after that, but I’ve been stuck in the NICU for the past two days.”

“If you’re worried about her, I can ask Anya.”

“Who’s Anya?”

“Lexa’s sister. The one we met at the parade.”

“Oh, that’s right. I remember her. Amazing cheekbones,” she said, recalling the way Raven had blushed around the tall, striking woman.

“We’ve sort of been...hanging out. I haven’t seen her for a bit because of work, but I could ask her about Lexa if you want me to.”

Clarke whipped around, a grin already on her face as she eyed Raven’s closely. “Oh my god. You slept with her already, didn’t you?”

Raven laughed and shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. “One or twice.”

“Holy shit. Well?”

“She’s fucking amazing.”

“Oh god, no. Nevermind. I don’t want to hear that.”

Raven laughed again. “She’s amazing in bed and in general.”

Clarke frowned. “Oh no.”

“What?”

“Is she going to break your heart?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you have feelings for her, and I know you. You told her it was just sex, didn’t you.”

Raven shrugged, not quite making eye contact. “It is. For now.”

“Uh huh.” Clarke wanted to say more, but before she could, she noticed the faint siren sound she had barely registered before growing louder. Too loud. She looked to Raven, then to the security panel on the wall where she noticed the black, digital words scrolling across the screen. “Jesus Christ, again?”

She walked over to it and punched in the code, ending the alarm. “Can you hold her?” She asked, handing Ellie to her without waiting for an answer, and turned towards the hallway leading to the front door. Ellie shrieked and pushed against Raven’s chest, desperately trying to get down. She was screaming to be let down, seconds away from a full on temper tantrum, when Clarke gave up, jogged back down the hall and took her into her arms.

“We are not playing with Lexa today, but you can say hello,” she told her toddler sternly as she opened the door. She was frustrated and annoyed, and if anyone asked, she would say she hated having to do this again. Yet, when her eyes scanned over the truck and the men filing out, the fluttering excitement in her chest disappeared. Lexa was nowhere to be found.

***

“She’s okay,” Taryn said, walking up to stand next to Elliot in Lexa’s patient room doorway.

“I know she is.”

“That’s why you’ve been standing here for the past ten minutes?”

Elliot shot Taryn a wry grin, but move from the doorframe. She had no other place to be right now. Might as well be here. “You know, when I got to her in Afghanistan, for the first time in my career, I didn’t know where to start. They teach us the ABCs--airway, breathing, circulation.”  Elliot chuckled. “She had issues with all three. Had I been here, with an entire ER staff and trauma team, we all would have had our jobs. You could have handled her burnt airway. I would have started in on her three gunshot wounds. Cardio would have kept her heart beating, while Plastics handled the third degree burns all over her body. There’d be nurses and residents to pump meds, get her stable enough for surgery.” Elliot folded her arms and studied Lexa, but her eyes weren’t seeing. Her mind was elsewhere, remembering. “But in Afghanistan, at the end of the day, it was just me. And I was terrified I’d lose her. Something about her...I just knew I couldn’t handle losing this one.”

[70swizards]

|winter au|

• its fourth year, the marauders and Marlene go over to remus’ during their winter break for a change

• after doing random crap and listening to James and Sirius plan for their next prank, they all start building a fort

• they starting to add fairy lights, pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals. oh and remus forced them to add thirty billion bars of chocolate (I’m writing this at three am please-)

• Sirius then thought it’s a great idea to hit remus with a pillow. Remus lashed out, Sirius went bye bye.

• World War III has begun

• after they have all recollected themselves and calmed down. aka have become civilized humans again, James asked remus if they could walk over to Lily’s since her house was next door.

• remus calls but doesn’t tell her that James is coming with because we all know how much she hated him at the time.

• lily agrees joyfully, so they all make their way to the Evans house

• remus knocked on the door rapidly, wanting to get in before the winter air ate him whole.

• she opened the door, emitting a creaking noise as she did so. scanning the people in front of the door, her smile began to vanish as she rested her gaze on the one and only James Fleamont Potter

• James smiles sincerely, a crooked smile that could make anyone melt. A smile that would get anyone to smile with him, a smile that portrayed nothing but generosity and love. yet, Lily’s expression only proved the contrary. She grimaced.

• “hey Evans” James said, his eyes still scintillating, refeclting the silvery clouds in the dusty canvas above.

• “who brought him here? I though it was just you three!” She retorted

• “weeeeelllll.....” remus cooed

• “Remus!” She shot back

• “I’m just going to go back” James said, the sparkle in his eyes fading, imitating his smile

• James began to walk back to remus’ place, as he felt the cold breeze flying past him. It was silent, before the petite droplets of rain began to fall, soaking his shirt creating little spots of a darker tint

• he didn’t expect her reaction since it was a time of holiday. He knew she hated him, but a little smile wouldn’t hurt. After all, he was certain that he was better than Severus. When he passed by, she would hug him and give him a peck on the cheek

• still overthinking the whole situation, he arrived to his destination. He opened the door and entered the fort, never more grateful for such a simple thing.

• he brought the sheets together, pinning them together, not allowing any crevice to remain

• James grabbed a pillow, and brought it close to his chest, embracing it tightly. He dug his his nails into the blanket, beginning to overthink again

• am I that bad? he thought, what have I done?

• his eyes commenced to swell with unwanted tears. He brushed them away, clenching his jaw and swallowing the lump in his throat

• why the hell am I getting senstitve. No. Stop. This is unnecessary

• “James?” A girl’s voice sounded from outside the fort.

• “go away Marlene” James said raspily

• “it’s not Marlene, Potter” the feminine voice spoke again

• “Evans??” (God help me this is so cringe and cliche)

• “yeah, can I come in?”

• “no” James sniffled

• “Are..are you crying? Is the James potter crying?”

• “...no I’m not crying”

• “can I please come in?” she said softly

• James didn’t answer since he knew she was going to do it anyway. and he was right. The material ruffled as she entered. Her perfume became to diffuse.

• James was able to smell the lingering scent of flowers and home. He felt comfort, even though she was the one who caused him all the pain to begin with

• “I’m sorry, I had no right to treat you that way when all you wanted was to stop by and check on me” she said, staring into his shattered looking eyes that were covered with hair, that acted like a barrier (someone please stop me)

• she got closer to him, brushing his hair out of his face to be able to see his eyes more clearly.

• James looked up at her, squinting slightly, not accustomed to her unusual behavior

• “what are you doing?” James asked suspiciously

• “I’m dancing, what does it look like I’m doing”

• “why are you doing this?” he questioned

• “can you shut up and just enjoy the moment!”

• he pulled away, not wanting to be used for a few hours then get hated again. The last thing he needed was for her to toy with his emotions.

• “are you using me?”

• “I’d never. what do you mean?” she inquired

• “you’d never do anything like this. especially- especially with me”

• “when did I say that?”

• “In-In third year” he said hesitantly

• “what year are we in now?”

• “sixth year”

• “exactly” lily smiled

• “why do you hate me?” James asked

• “I never hated you james. I always made myself believe that because I was friends with Sev- I mean Severus” she explained

• “and why are you speaking to me right now?”

• “because I know you’d never call your friends names. And I know you’re loyal to them and that you treat everyone equally. And I’m sorry that I failed to realize that a long time ago”

• “don’t apologize. It’s not your fault”

• “it has been all along” she breathed out

[hamlets-ghost-zaddy]

what kind of man?

Joe Toye x Reader

Summary: Assigned as a war correspondent to the European Theater, a string of fluff piece assignments makes apparent you’re a novelty to sell newspapers. You yearn for an interview with someone who will tell you the truth--something real--and you find honesty in a man with a missing leg and a battered copy of War and Peace.

You knew, when Ed McCormick—the human interest editor—slid an Atlantic ocean liner ticket across your (frankly, overflowing) desk along with the declaration of ‘congrats, kiddo, you’re a war reporter,’ there had to be a hitch. The New York Times doesn’t send female war correspondents across the Atlantic Ocean and catapulting into a war zone on a whim—because they think you’ve got gumption, or a certain spark, or felt like taking a chance. You aren’t exactly Martha Gellhorn or Marguerite Higgins—but then again, the Times doesn’t have a Gellhorn or a Higgins.

And now, you’re in an Army hospital in Paris, confronting once again what exactly that hitch is: you’re the novelty ‘girl writer.’ It’s all the rage.

“How long will he make us wait?” you ask, glaring down at your watch face as if you could bully the minute hand to stop moving. To stop showing this Dr. Carl fucking Wainwright, the latest in a long like of interviews for fluff pieces, has kept you and Fred, your photography, waiting for almost forty-five minutes.

“As long as they feel like,” he says, as he lights a cigarette. He uses it as a lecturer’s wand to indicate the ward, populated by wounded and recovering GIs, the smoke leaving a trail. “We’re pretty low on the priority list, kid.”

You lift your eyes to the ceiling, knowing Fred knew as well as you did that wasn’t the whole truth. In the month and a half you’ve been in Paris, the interview appointments you’ve had with doctors, colonels, pilots, naval captains have been consistently well away from the frontlines, the start time delayed or postponed, often cut short when they do begin, all the answers you gather as sweet and vapid as candy floss. No one wants to show the war as it always is, worrying what will happen if their honesty appears on the front page or that the pretty little war correspondent isn’t the one to write about it. “They know I’m not chump change.”

“Nah,” Fred replies. You cock an eyebrow at him as he sucks on his cigarette, wondering if he’s about to compliment you. You had been sure Fred didn’t know how to string one nice—or attempted nice—word after another. He puffs smoke out in a great cloud. “It’s because you’re a girl. They know you’re here to add bit of emotion and feminine touch to this disgusting fucking war.” His words hold no bite, only a crackling frankness, and they land all the harder across your cheek. “You slap your name onto some fluff pieces about the great noble sacrifice of our heroic, home-grown, American boys, and fuck, that’ll sell more papers than my pictures will.”

You bite your lower lip to keep from spitting out something you might regret; it’s not like you didn’t know it, in some dark recess of your conscious.

The girl writer, you think, snorting and crossing your arms over your chest. You squint out of the hospital ward’s window, the early autumn afternoon overcast, the gray clouds swallowing the gray steel of the Eiffel Tower.  You didn’t need Fred to tell you what you already knew. Yet,  sent something sharp and metallic cut into your chest, settling just below your throat. But, you try to bolster yourself, You still got an opportunity. Martha, Marguerite: they started somewhere, too. All it took was an opportunity seized tight in a clenched, white-knuckled fist.

“I just wish I could get a real chance to write something more than fluff,” you say more to the Eiffel Tower than Fred. “I bet I could sell more than an extra paper here or there. I need something I could really sink my teeth into—something real. What the war is like really.”

Smoke curls out of Fred’s mouth. He’s squinting at you, but he’s always squinting at something. It’s why he avoided the draft—his eyesight making him near blind, his refusal to wear glasses making him near stupid—but you’ve come to rely on its consistency. Good old squinting, surly Fred, who saw the world clearer through narrowed eyes than an optometrist could ever help with. He says, “You want some coffee to wash down what you’re sinking your teeth in to?”

“Coffee?” you repeat.

“Sure.” He shrugs toward the closed door of Dr. Wainwright’s office. “Doc’s kept us waiting long enough, I figure we can drink some of his coffee.”

“Ah,” you say. “Well, no, but thank you.”

Fred shrugs. “If he decides to stick his nose out, have someone kind find me.” He doesn’t stick around for an answer, one hand on his camera, hung around his neck, as he trots from the ward. He sends you a wink before he vanishes into the hall.

Sighing, wishing you didn’t have the brand of ‘the girl writer’ seared onto your forehead—what would it be like if you could waltz off to coffee without worrying how’d it look like, what your boss might think, what it might do to your reputation? Pretty damn relaxing, you think, drifting between two cots, the men in either asleep, and lean a hip against the window. Would Martha or Marguerite let themselves be walked over by this Doctor Wainwright? Or yesterday’s Lieutenant Aryes? Or last week’s Captain Sobel?

he Parisian cityscape offers no answers.

“Hey, lady,” a raspy voice calls. Another: “Lady?” Pause, and finally, short and swift and sharp: “Window girl!”

Breath catches in your throat.  Jerking away from the window, you find a soldier two cots away fixing you with a frown. His dark eyes are somehow more disapproving than the downward quirk of his mouth. A book is opened on his stomach. “You’re blocking my reading light,” he says after a beat, you blinking at him.

“Oh, uh,” you reply, intelligently, taking a mincing step away from window only to bump into a cot’s table laden with water and medicines. It takes a quick hand to steady the rattling glasses, and your breath catches as the cot’s occupant grumbles in his sleep—threatening to wake—only to turn onto his side and snore once. Loudly. You exhale. Thank fuck. What kind of person wakes an injured soldier?

“That was elegant,” the dark-eyed man observes dryly.

Moving away from the window and side table, you can’t help your eyes narrowing. “My deepest thanks for that compliment, solider; I’m sure it was entirely sincere.” You feel a whoosh and a plunge in your chest the moment the words are from your mouth because what the fuck? What kind of person says that to an injured soldier? You want to grab the words from the air and stuff them back into your mouth.

But the raspy solider, he, well, he grins?

The disapproval in his eyes has flicked off, a light of interest kindling, and those eyes are sweeping over you, considering. Goosebumps raze your skin, your cheeks flushing, with the prickling heat of his eyes on you and—“You some kind of reporter?”

Crossing your arms, you reply, “I’m not ‘some kind of reporter;’ I am a reporter. A war correspondent. For the New York Times.”

“Oh yeah?” He cocks an eyebrow as if asking if he should be impressed. The heat still burns in his eyes. He’s enjoying this, you realize. “What was all that about sinking your teeth into something real then? Doesn’t seem like you’re a war correspondent for the Times.”

“I am a real—” you being to protest hotly, but under your glare, his lips twitch precariously close to a smile and you bite off your words. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” Your tone is flat.

His smile grows. “Nah, not you in particular, more anything that makes being in a fucking hospital a little less boring.” You expect him to stutter to an awkward halt, to apologize for swearing in front of you—a lady—but he doesn’t. You can’t help mirroring his smile. “I mean, look, I’m reading for Christ’s sake! I never read.” He waves to the book still on his stomach, and you move a few steps closer to read the title and the English major, shut away in your heart since you graduated from Brown three years ago, sings.

“War and Peace?” you say. “That’s appropriate.”

He wrinkles his nose faintly. “I guess, but I’d rather fucking eat it then read another word. It’s horrible! Boring and unrealistic, I mean, seriously, are you telling me that this Andre fella isn’t going to kiss the living-fucking-daylights out of that Natasha broad before he goes off to war? Fucking war? Or that Pierre ain’t going to kiss her? Jesus.”

You consider pointing out, though apparently horrible, he is awfully invested in the romantic entanglements of the main characters. Instead, you settle on, “What would you change to make it more realistic?”

He shrugs, shifting in his bed. You’re not sure if it’s because you’ve drifted to stand over him, or if no one has asked his opinions on literature before, but you pull up a nearby chair to at least alieve one issue. He stares at you for another moment, jaw working, trying to decide something, before settling on: “Well, I can’t really say what’s unrealistic or not about the fucking Napoleonic war, but if you’re wanting a book about war and peace now, I’d tell you to write more—like, a fuck ton more—about soldiers being scared out of their goddamn minds. I am, uh, was a paratrooper until…” he nods toward his legs—well, no, not legs. You realize, blinking and hiding your surprise poorly, where one leg shoulder be, the sheets are deflated. Amputated, he’s destined to relay on one leg and a crutch for the rest of his life, all in service of his country.

Your stomach clenches painfully. You release a silent, steady breath, focusing doggedly as he gathers his thoughts and continues: “I had jumped out of a plane five times just for the right to call myself a paratrooper, right? But, on D-Day, when that plane was flying through a fucking Fourth of July fireworks show as the Germans were firing over us? I might as well have never jumped once. I stood there, waiting and waiting, for the red light and then the green light to turn on thinking, any second, a German anti-aircraft shell would send us up in a great fireball.” He pauses. To the battered novel, he says softly, “I’ve never been so scared.”

Balling your fingers into fists, hidden in the cloth folds of your lap, you restrain yourself from leaning forward to take his hand. He doesn’t need your sympathy, and you don’t have empathy—you could never understand the hell he’s seen. So instead, you ask: “What about the peace?”

He doesn’t reply immediately, his dark eyes dragging reluctantly away from you, as if fighting a magnetized pull, and to his book. Movements slow, as if forgetting the fingers beating a lazy rhythm onto the book’s cover belonged to him, his eyes grow distant. You watch him fall into his memory—allow in memories of terror, his comrades, the firefights, death—and you’ve seen eyes untethered from reality (hell, you’ve seen amputated legs before) but seeing this man, this soldier who talked about literary characters kissing and seasoned his speech with ‘fuck’ like a cooking spice, it meant more. Landed heavier in chest, packed a punch that left you winded around a clenching throat.

I don’t even know his name, you think.

“I think that’s my big problem with it,” he begins slowly, nodding again to the book. “‘War and Peace.” He snorts. Then repeats, low to taste the words in his mouth: “War and peace. Implying that the two can coexist. There isn’t peace, there hasn’t been since ’41 when we got dragged into this fucking war. War murders peace; when you aren’t getting shot out, you’re thinking you might get shot at, or dreaming about being shot at, or your buddy’s shot. You’re constantly wound tight, waiting in the time in between, because there’s no peace. It’s just a lapse in hell so Death can trick you again, and worse this time around.” He says ‘death’ with a capitalization, as if it’s a proper noun, a close friend, someone he’s dined with multiple evenings in a row. A grin spreads on his mouth. “Guess I gave you what you wanted, huh? How’d you trick me into doing that?”

“What?” you ask, blinking. You forgot the origin of the conversation

“You said you wanted to write about the real war.”

“Oh, I do, but…” your voice fades in thought.

“But?”

“But, I won’t use what you told me.”

His dark brows furrow, mouth turning into a downward slash. “What? Why? Do you want something more glorious or heroic, because, lady, I thought you said real—”

“I won’t use it because,” you say over him, holding a finger up to silence him. He presses his lips into an annoyed line, but he swallows his words. “Because of two reasons. One: I haven’t asked permission. May I quote you in a story?”

Jutting his chin out mulishly, he shrugs and you see in him the little, obstinate boy he used to be. You briefly wonder what hell he gave his mother (you briefly wonder why you suddenly feel a fervent hope to know about his childhood, his mother, his family, his life). “Sure, yeah, why not,” he says. “What’s the second reason, then?”

“I don’t know your name.”

“Oh.” In his raspy voice, the word is almost a musical note. “Joe Toye. I’m with the Airborne, the 101st.”

You tilt you head, unable to keep from smiling at the simplicity of it—Joe Toye—and how his name came in the same breath with his division; a division that warmed his breath, squared his shoulders, and puffed his chest. He’s proud to be a—it takes a moment for your mind to come up with it—a Screamin’ Eagle, or maybe prouder to be associated with the men who also wore the Eagle. Still smiling, you offer your name, adding, “I’m with the New York Times.”

He doesn’t give the usual lines you’ve heard from men—‘pretty name for a pretty girl,’ ‘nice name, but can I call you mine?’—instead saying, “Good to meet you, uh, formally. And thanks for listening.”

A crooked grin twists your lips up. “Listening is literally my job.”

“Take the compliment, would you, woman?” he asks, laugh barking and brief, the noise scattering goosebumps onto your arms as it zips over your skin, only to burrow and live in your memories. When he quiets, when the blush on your face threatens to permanently stain, he props himself up further, dog-earring War and Peace and putting it aside. To his fingers, stitching and unstitching themselves on his lap, he says, “Nah, I mean it. It’s been awhile since anyone has taken the time to listen to me just, you know, say shit.”

“Well, you’ve got a lot of interesting shit to say,” you say, mildly and trying your best not to let your voice quiver. You want to inject the swirling tide of emotions boiling in your chest into your words, to make him understand just how much you feel your words—instinctively feel his worth, his importance—but what kind of person does that? What kind of person acts all emotional at a guy she literally just met? A silly girl, your brain supplies, unhelpfully.

But you know you failed because Joe’s looking at you all strange—all quirked eyebrows, mouth parting into a surprised ‘o,’ and his eyes seeming to flicker—and you snap your mouth shut. The blush, you’re sure, will redden you as a badge to what a colossal, idiotic, overly-emotional girl you are and forever will be.

What would Marguerite or Martha do? you ask yourself.

“Miss?” a voice says then, interrupting your internal spiral. “Miss—uh, Miss…?”

“Y/n,” Joe says, a question pitching your name up. “I think he’s talking to you?”

You turn and, from the name patched onto his lab coat, find yourself blinking at the elusive Wainwright. He’s a thin man, wiry and wrinkled and tired, and he blinks expectantly at you from behind round glasses. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting, Miss, but I’m ready to interview now.”

“Oh, um,” you say, standing, and running nervous fingers over your hair and hoping the fluffing you put it through before you left the hotel—over two hours ago now—hasn’t completely deflated. “Wonderful, great, I’ll just…” But your words catch in your throat because you do something you shouldn’t have: you glance down at Joe and he’s—

He’s grinning at you just as he did when you sassed him, an eye-tooth dominated smirk, creasing his eyes as if every inch of his face wants to be involved. You empty your lungs in a long breath. Joe Toye. Joe Toye curses even though you’re a female, he looks at you with bright interest and tells you what’s real. He doesn’t shy from the fear and exhaustion that every other person you’ve spoken with tries to keep out of the newspapers—or protected and secreted away from the pretty little war correspondent.

“Actually,” you begin, knowing when Fred eventually returns, he’ll redefine hell for you, “I just needed to speak with you to see if interviewing this soldier here was okay.”

“Oh, uh,” Wainwright says. He adjusts his glasses, though they sat just fine on his nose, eyes darting between you and Joe. “If he’s agreed, then yes, of course.”

You nod, smiling your most charming. “Thank you, sir. Awfully kind of you.”

“Sure,” Wainwright replies, already drifting away to tend to other demands on his hospital ward.

Watching him go, you cling to the few seconds of an excuse before you have to look at Joe and judge his reaction.

Joe doesn’t wait for you to look at him. Voice quiet, he asks, “Why did you do that?”

“Because,” you say, tearing your eyes from Wainwright’s back and to Joe. Joe, who’s eyebrows are pinched and who’s eyes flickering again. “Because you have more interesting shit to say.”

A week later, an article appears in the Times, “A Screaming Eagle Talks: An Interview with an Elite American solider.” You receive a clipping of it along with a letter asking if you want his autograph. It’s the fifth letter you and Joe exchange. You send them to each other—at first across France, then across the Atlantic when he returns Stateside—but you stop counting at eighty-four letters (the war’s over and you get to hear, instead of read, all the interesting shit by then. Of course, Joe insists he’s only got something interesting to say if you’re writing it).

[trashunlimited]

the complete history of julie’s development

(and some other stuff too)

i was thinking about making this post because i actually have a lot to say in regards to this?

@nightshade1994, @glampyra

so, i started watching rnm back in around may 2014, when i was still 13 years old. while the show currently has three seasons with a fourth in production, back then we only had season one, which is what most of the info surrounding julie is based on.

the character of mrs.sanchez(rick’s wife) is still elusive as hell, even more so back then. all the show really told us was:

she is no longer around for whatever reason

rick left her for an unspecified reason

which isn’t really much to go off of. but people were still making versions of her back then, and i wanted to get in it on. julie started out as a design really, nothing more, and her name was “tatiana” back then. but i decided instead to switch to an english name, and she was renamed “juliana”, or just julie for short(which is actually the french form of julia).

i ended up coming up with ideas for julie’s personality, but what really inspired me was when i was looking through a now dead rick and morty confessions blog, and someone posted a confession that they thought maybe the reason rick is so attached to morty to begin with, is because morty reminds him of his wife. both characters being shy, cute and awkward, but his wife also being this really sweet and kind person. that was basically the basis of julie’s personality that i expanded on over the years.

i still have that confession saved too

with the way mrs.sanchez is presented, it’s clear she’s dead. however, 13/14 year old me was not about that shit, and i opted to keep her alive. the explanation is she ran away to look for rick, and ended up becoming some badass bounty hunter type. i still have this pic i made back in 2014 of her bounty hunter look(pictured with rick):

my dumbass preferred her over the younger julie(because she’s cooler or whatever), and i kept her like this for a while, and for a short time, i got rid of the bounty hunter thing but still kept her alive, before coming to the tragic conclusion she had to be killed off. it fucking hurt, but it was the realistic option and i knew i had to do it.

since then, julie’s been in a continuous development, and she only has gotten better, as i’ve gotten better at character creation.

onto her design

julie was made to be conventionally attractive, i mean look at her daughter and rick

it’s clear, beth takes over rick in terms of personality, and her mother in appearance.

i made julie a redhead because it’s meant to explain where summer’s red hair comes from, both parents need to carriers of the red hair gene in order for it to pass onto the offspring...and even then...it’s really recessive, which is why only a small amount of people have it. beth carries the red hair gene from her mother, and jerry carries it from a direct relative of his.

julie has a small button nose to explain where morty’s nose shape comes from. beth’s nose shape is explained as being a combination of julie’s nose and rick’s nose, it goes down like rick’s, and is rounded like julie’s.

(reference pics i have)

her hairstyle was also made to reflect her shyness(with a whole side of her face being covered) and her femininity, as it’s long and very neat.

her outfits are also meant to properly look like outfits from the 70s, the particular decade julie comes from. these pictures of outfits from the 70s inspired julie’s:

and since julie is feminine, of course her outfits reflect this too.

julie’s design hasn’t changed drastically, i mainly just redesigned her outfits, the one she had for the longest with a violet sundress and brown boots, but i changed it because it was too plain and not 70s enough. looking back at this old traced thing i made, also back in 2014, julie’s hairstyle appears to be slightly different too. and rick’s skin was wayyy too damn light, i think i just chose a bad screenshot to take his skin colour from at the time.

i even redid julie’s elderly design, in the au where she lives, and also redid that top picture of rick and julie from years ago:

(now rick and julie are even wearing their wedding rings!) and julie looks skinny and has a younger-looking body because rick used some anti-aging serum on her. now elderly julie is a stereotypical grandma who bakes cookies and knits cute sweaters for you. where’s that damn “julie lives” au.

i redid that other picture too.

i think i should also bring up julie’s friends because they are important too.

i did mention before that the earliest version of how rick and julie met was because of julie’s friends dragging her to a bar. one of the friends wanted julie to socialize more, this became vivian, and another girl who was a party animal named hilda, who i scrapped completely. another friend of julie’s that was scrapped was sandra, who was supposed to be the friend julie could talk about “girly stuff” with. i scrapped them out of a lack of ideas.

as for mark, i wanted a character who was reasonable and julie could go to for advice, and i made him a male to balance out the three female characters. he was made a hippie because my ass couldn’t resist including one. a significant part of mark’s backstory is him being a victim of child abuse, and the inspiration for this comes a tragic place.

child abuse is a very personal thing for me, not because i was a victim of it, but because both, yes, both of my parents were victims of it themselves. they faced physical and emotional abuse growing up, and had to deal with a lot of other shit in their younger years that i won’t go into detail about. i really wanted to make a character that was a victim of abuse, and at first, it was handed over to julie, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it, and i liked the idea of a big part of why julie is the way she is because is because her parents had a very positive influence on her. so it got handed to mark instead, who i didn’t have much backstory in mind for at the time.

i can’t believe i’m saying this, but initially there was a point when there was a love triangle. look, i’ve said it multiple times but i initially created julie when i was 13/14, i didn’t know any better. when i finally realized how dumb it was, i scrapped it, along with the character in the love interest, also vying for julie’s affections, named kent. the story revolving around this was how it was for the longest time too and i’m so fucking embarrassed holy shit.

at one point, julie also had a younger brother who was named charlie(julie was born in 1951, and i think he was supposed to be born in either 1952 or 1953). he didn’t last long and was scrapped too, i didn’t want there to be a whole other side to the smith family they were either:

completely unaware of

OR

knew they existed and didn’t care about them for whatever reason

i gave charlie black hair, and to this day, the design i have in mind for julie’s mother has black hair too, i just think it looks good on her. at the end of the day, scrapping him was really good in the long run, mark and julie, who both don’t have siblings, see themselves as brother and sister, and it adds to their bond. it also reinforces julie’s loneliness, and the reason i have in mind that about julie’s innocent nature is because her parents were protective, because julie’s mother suffered a miscarriage a year after julie was born and was rendered infertile. her parents didn’t want to lose their only biological child after all.

i don’t have too much to say about vivian, she’s always been fairly constant, except she used to be a lot bitchier, but i opted to make her nicer, even if it doesn’t come off that way. i also always had the idea of her and mark being paired together, i just liked the idea of putting a character with a short-temper and a character with a mild-temper character. their relationship is more subtle than rick/julie.

once i branched away from the love triangle shit, the story needed to change, and i started out trying to incorporate the galactic federation into it. but it wasn’t very...successful...

i came up with the idea for the fyralogin empire because i thought it would make sense for the universe to have a great power before the federation replaced it. so they were represented as a dying empire on it’s last legs, struggling to hold onto power.

i don’t have too much else to say from this point on. but as you can see, julie, her friends and the story itself went through a lot before reaching their current point, and...i think it’s all for the better.

[jmsa1287]

Not Just for the Straight Guy: 'Queer Eye' Reboots & Rebrands Itself on Netflix

i wrote about the rebooted “Queer Eye” on Netflix

It's been over a decade since the hit makeover show "Queer Eye," once known by its longer title "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," ended its five season run on Bravo. A lot has changed since it went off the airwaves in 2007, including the repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" measure and the legalization of same-sex marriage in the U.S. Rebooted and rebranded, the second iteration of "Queer Eye," which hits Netflix on Feb. 7, offers something more substantial than just hair care tips or clothing advice. The new Fab 5 wants their viewers to know beauty isn't only skin deep.

In the weeks leading up to the rebooted "Queer Eye," series creator David Collins promised the new series will push the envelope when it comes to a number of social issues, including LGBTQ rights and the Black Lives Matter movement.

"It's a new time with a new audience," he told Entertainment Weekly in December. "If the original round was about tolerance, this time it is about acceptance.

"If you think about the original five, we definitely weren't going to be talking about that Tan [France] is married to a Mormon cowboy, let alone that he's Muslim," Collins added. "So it's those authentic moments that really pay off in this new version of 'Queer Eye.'"

The first "Queer Eye," which debuted in July 2003, gained notoriety for "normalizing" gay life thanks to its Fab Five - five men who were openly gay and not ashamed of their sexuality were in the homes of millions of Americans across the country. Though 2003 may not seem that long ago, the U.S.'s views on LGBTQ people were starkly different than today and marriage equality was still a dream - it wasn't until 2004 that Massachusetts became the first state to recognize same-sex marriage.

In the show, the Fab Five took over the lives of (usually) slobby straight men, making them and their homes over while teaching them life skills. That format is still the case for the rebooted "Queer Eye," which features a brand new crew. The new Fab Five is made up of Karamo Brown (culture), Jonathan Van Ness (grooming), Tan France (fashion), Antoni Porowski (food and wine), and Bobby Berk (design). Unlike the first series, which was set in New York City, Netflix's version finds the Fab Five heading down South - specifically, Georgia, which doesn't have the best track record when it comes to LGBTQ equality and protection.

Collins may be hyping up the new "Queer Eye" as the "woke" version of the show but the new Fab Five only scratch the surface of what could be a provoking unscripted series. That doesn't mean "Queer Eye" is bad or not worth your time - it's an enjoyable and easy watch that's fully entertaining.

In a few moments throughout the eight episodes provided for review, "Queer Eye" edges up to discussing important issues but avoids getting in to the weeds. The new show lacks the political bite it promises - if you're looking for a deep discussion about LGBTQ rights by five proud gay men with Trump-supporting police officers from Georgia this isn't it.

One of the most interesting moments from the show comes in the third episode when straight guy Cory - the aforementioned Trump-supporting cop - and Karamo are bonding while driving in car alone together. Earlier in the episode, Cory's friend, also a police officer, pulls the Fab Five over while Karamo, a black man, is driving. Though the incident ends up being a gag, it's a tense moment that finds Karamo worried about how he'll be treated by the authorities. It later serves as a talking point when Karamo expresses his feelings over the faux pull over.

"The perception right now, especially between black people and cops - it's tension," Karamo says, adding that when he was pulled over he was "freaking out."

"I thought, 'This is going to be that incident when I get dragged out of the car,'" he continues. "...My whole thing is, obviously not all black people want to be lumped in one category as criminals, which sometimes we feel that way."

"And all police officers don't want to be lumped into being the bad guy," Cory says. "I get stereotyped because of that 10% shown on the media of being excessive or killing a black guy that didn't need to have deadly force used upon him."

Cory then recalls a recent nearby incident about a cop kicking a man in the face after he was handcuffed.

"There was nothing that makes it alright," he said.

"I got to tell you just even hearing you acknowledging that the officer that used force should never have just heals me and gives me a little bit of relief," Karamo tells Cory. "All I ever hear usually is cops sticking together, saying, 'What about us?' And it is true, what about you all? But it's also like, what about us? We're both dealing with the same pain on two different ends. But none of us are acknowledging it."

"It does go both ways and I'm glad you feel that way," Cory responds. "Black lives matter. They weren't able to be heard and the police officers weren't able to be heard. If we could sit down and have a conversation like you and I just did, things would be a lot better in society. Everyone wants to talk but nobody wants to listen."

In his confessional later, Karamo says, "The beauty with what is happening here is that I am open and I'm going to stay open because I need him to learn from me and I need to learn from.

"Right now our country seems to bet getting worse and worse and worse and it has to start somewhere and I'm not saying a conversation with one police officer and one gay guy is going to solve problems but maybe it can open up eyes to something more," he adds.

Indeed, Karamo is right - it's a start and an admirable effort with a moving payoff. But these moments come far and few between in "Queer Eye."

In the fourth episode the Fab Five make over civil engineer AJ, who is gay. AJ is shy and not out to his stepmother, who was married to his late father. Part of the episode finds the Fab Five guiding AJ, who has kept his life and boyfriend separate from his family, into feeling comfortable with talking with his stepmom. Though the episode is touching, it also has a concerning moment when AJ is speaking with Tan about his conservative style. AJ gets anxious when Tan explains his fashion plans for him.

Tan says he wants AJ to dress younger and "dress sexy, feel sexy"

"Just don't make me look feminine - or just some regular guy on the street. Keep me original still," AJ says.

"I want to mention one word that you just mentioned: 'feminine,'" Tan says. "Why are you concerned about that? And it's a concern a lot of gay guys [have]."

"A lot of my friends they live more free with what they wear and I just couldn't do it," AJ responds.

"...You being your true self isn't going to offend anybody," Tan says. "It's very unlikely people are going to cause you an issue just be cur being yourself. And if their concerned that's ton them - your happy."

Though Tan's advice is sound, it doesn't go far enough in correcting AJ that there really isn't anything wrong with dressing "feminine." Again, a commendable moment but one that doesn't quiet go there.

"Queer Eye" is a well-meaning reboot that can be easily binge-watched - the new Fab Five hold their own and are all thoroughly charismatic. It's also a cathartic experience, with almost every episode in the season ending in tears and the men expressing their admiration and respect for the Fab Five, proving the country has indeed come a long way when it comes to LGBTQ rights. Netflix's "Queer Eye" may not the remedy to solve America's deeply rooted divide but it does provide hope, proving even straight cis white men from the most conservative parts of the U.S. appreciate a fierce makeover, honey.

[fem-mem-mine]

At the posthumous retrial of Joan of Arc in 1455, two decades after she was burned at the stake as a witch and a heretic, she was declared an innocent martyr. During the trial, a personal valet offered evidence of Joan of Arc’s piety and purity during her 19 years on Earth: “She never suffered from the secret illness of women.” As far as the people closest to her knew, he claimed, she never got her period.

Saintly qualifications aside, amenorrhea—the abnormal absence of periods—has historically been linked with misfortune. In 400 b.c., Hippocrates wrote that “when the menses are stopped, diseases from the uterus take place.” In 1652, the physician Nicolas Fontanus identified amenorrhea “as the most universal and most usual cause” for palsy, melancholy, burning fevers, nausea, headaches, and a distaste for meat. Some 18th-century physicians believed that suppressed menses could cause a married woman to spiral into deep hysteria, and even in 1961, the epidemiologist Frances Drew proposed that a young woman might manifest mental anguish by losing her period.

But some doctors today offer amenorrhea to patients as young as age 14 or 15: Menstruation has now become an elective bodily process. “Once your periods are established, we can turn them off,” Sophia Yen, a pediatrics professor at Stanford Medical School, told me. “We now have the technology to make periods optional.”

Few are as passionate as Yen about the possibility of a world with far less cyclical bleeding. “It’s my crusade,” said Yen, who also co-founded and runs Pandia Health, a birth-control-delivery company. “This is my moonshot.” People who have periods spend an average of 2,300 days of their lives menstruating. If more people chose to silence their period—or even just dial down the volume—that would mean a decrease in iron deficiency (which women experience at far higher rates than men), and fewer plastic tampon applicators littering landfills.

Yen envisions the period of periods soon coming to an end. But even though menstruation is often messy, painful, and expensive, it’s a meaningful fixture of adulthood for some, and one that can be hard to let go of.

Gabrielle, a 24-year-old who lives in St. Petersburg, Florida, got her first period in fourth grade. (The Atlantic allowed her and others in this story to use their first name only, to protect their privacy.)

“It felt incredibly, incredibly unfair,” she told me, to have been the first among her friends to menstruate. “There were all these little moments where it was embarrassing and bad and painful and weird”—sneaking off to the bathroom with bulky pads stuffed in her shirt, swimming while on her period, learning how to use tampons. Then, at 20, Gabrielle got a hormonal IUD (intrauterine device) for birth control and, as a side effect, stopped getting regular periods. “It feels really good to not worry” about keeping the bathroom well stocked or missing a day of work, she said. “I will keep getting an IUD until I’m ready to get pregnant.”

Today, any doctor will tell you there is no medical necessity for periods unless you’re trying to conceive. The body preps for pregnancy by thickening the uterus’s lining, like a bird building a nest for her eggs; hormonal birth control prevents pregnancy, in part, by keeping the uterine lining from ever building up. Many of the roughly 19 million Americans who rely on the pill, the shot, IUDs, implants, patches, or rings see a change in their period—often it’s lighter, but it can also disappear altogether. In clinical trials, more than 40 percent of the Liletta IUD’s users no longer menstruated by the end of the product’s six-year life. More than half of people who get the Depo-Provera shot every three months will become amenorrhoeic within a year, and almost 70 percent in the second year. And anyone using the pill, patch, or ring can safely skip scheduled withdrawal bleeding.

But getting a lighter flow as a side effect of birth control is different from choosing a contraceptive method in the hopes of turning off a period completely, and there are all sorts of reasons someone would want to do so. The cost of so-called feminine products can add up to thousands of dollars over a person’s lifetime: A recent study found that nearly two-thirds of low-income women surveyed in St. Louis couldn’t afford menstrual-hygiene products during the previous year. (This study, and others cited in this story, did not specify whether participants included trans men or nonbinary people who get periods). Amenorrhea can be a medical necessity for people with certain health conditions—such as those born without an intact uterus and vagina. It’s also a treatment option for heavy bleeding or otherwise painful periods, which afflict about one in five women, and can help relieve symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), which affects 6 to 12 percent of U.S. women of reproductive age. Or a period simply may be one burden too many, especially during a pandemic: A tweet in March proclaiming that “menstrual cycles also need to be suspended until this ordeal is over” started racking up hundreds of thousands of likes.

For those whose periods are not just a monthly nuisance, but a medical complication in and of itself, amenorrhea can be a revelation. Valentina, a 20-year-old in Medellín, Colombia, was diagnosed with PCOS at 14, after her periods became practically intolerable. “The cramps were so, so strong; I couldn’t walk. I went through one tampon in one hour. I couldn’t sleep at night,” she told me. “It was traumatic.” In 2017, Valentina got a hormonal IUD and has since stopped menstruating. “After losing it, you see how much easier life is,” she said. “I’m not sure I want to have a period again.” For Nik, a 20-year-old transgender man living in Chicago, getting an IUD to suppress his period provided both mental and physical relief. “You don’t want the physical reminder every month that you weren’t born in the right body,” he told me. He went from doubling up on pads and tampons to, now, the occasional spotting.

For more than a decade, associations of obstetricians and gynecologists have assured doctors that it is safe for patients to try to reduce or eliminate menstrual bleeding—for personal or medical reasons—with hormonal contraception. There is far less certainty about how often that’s actually happening.

A 2013 survey asked 4,039 women of reproductive age in North and South America and Europe about hormonal contraception and periods; one-third said they knew it was possible to regularly reduce menstrual bleeding with birth control, and about 10 percent of respondents had done so. Other, much smaller studies have also documented the use of birth control to suppress periods. In 2016, researchers examined menstrual suppression among 400 Iranian Muslims who had made the pilgrimage to Mecca; they found that all but a few reported taking birth-control pills to quiet their period, and three-quarters of them successfully. A 2011 questionnaire of 500 U.S. veterans found that two-thirds of them had wanted to suppress their cycle during their deployment, and almost all of the subjects expressed a desire for mandatory education on how they could use birth control to avoid menstruating in combat zones.

Yen sees a future in which many more people know they can opt out, and do—in which no one menstruates unless they’re within two years of their first period or are trying to get pregnant. “In my ideal world, it would be about 28 periods over the course of a lifetime,” she said. Right now, that figure is in the hundreds. For Yen, a mother of two daughters—a 10-year-old who hasn’t gotten her period and a 13-year-old who has—that rebalancing would place her own children on a more level playing field with boys. Without periods, she says, they won’t miss two days of school or work each month, or get cramps during the SAT or swim meets, or deal with any of the other related stresses. “I want them to be competitive against those who don’t have uteruses,” Yen said. “Teenage years are so turbulent and horrific as is. I don’t want them to suffer unnecessarily—and I can alleviate this for my child.”

But a period-free future still remains a radical idea. “Menstruation can limit some people, but I reject that’s true for everybody,” says Colleen Krajewski, a family-planning specialist for the University of Pittsburgh’s Center for Contraception and Family Planning. Many people, for example, rely on periods to know they’re not pregnant. Those recovering from eating disorders might see them as a sign that they’ve begun recovering from malnourishment. And some just enjoy the feeling of being in touch with their monthly cycle.

One key reason people will continue to opt in is the persistent, deep-set discomfort about not having your period. Last October, a group of researchers in Indiana and South Carolina reported that across a mix of focus groups, individual interviews, and online surveys, “most found the idea of not menstruating strange, unhealthy, and worrisome.” In a small, 2016 experiment, Canadian researchers discovered that a majority of the participants were suspicious of ads that presented the pharmaceutical suppression of cycles as a lifestyle choice; many specifically cited health concerns. “I know my body is healthy when it bleeds every month,” one participant told researchers, “and I would be very concerned if that didn’t happen.”

Patients tend to have a lot of questions about what not menstruating means for their reproductive health, says Margaret Nachtigall, a reproductive endocrinologist at NYU’s Langone Health. Do I risk infertility? Am I losing bone density? Am I clogging up with trapped menstrual blood? Some people harbor the unsettling misconception that without a period, toxic blood will build up inside them, Chelsea Polis, of the Guttmacher Institute, has found in her research. “That’s very scary for someone to worry about that,” Polis told me.

And that confusion makes sense, because amenorrhea can be a symptom of medical conditions such as eating disorders, pituitary or thyroid disease, and hepatitis. “Not getting a period is normally something worth investigating,” Nachtigall says. She and other gynecologists told me many of their patients struggle to feel normal without a period. I certainly did. I haven’t had a regular period since 2017, when I got my hormonal IUD. After so many years of ebbs and flows, I felt inert, as if my body couldn’t tell time once unmoored from its monthly cycle. It was an uncomfortable realization: I hated having my period, and I also hated losing it.

Yen fields similar concerns from her patients. “I tell them, ‘It’s okay to bleed less,’” she said. “The reason people feel like it’s quote ‘unnatural’ is that so many of us have had one every month for so long.”

[enchantingnightmaredoughnut-blog]

The Second Play Test

Since i’m now done with half of my graphic novel, with only small features not finished and added yet, I decided to do another play test. The reason I decided to do this now was because there is enough done for the play testers to fairly judge what the graphic novel will look like when finished and there is enough time and work for me improve and fix all the issue they might find.

The questionnaire:

I’ve decided to use the same questions to see if I’ve changed the issues that were mentioned before and they are still relevant questions that I need to know in order to properly improve my graphic novel.

The results:

I wanted to know how the art and the all the other features in my graphic novel are seen and if they work and come across how they are meant to be.

I asked 8 people this time, four girls and four boys all in my target audience age range (13-16 year old), the reason I did girls and boys is because though girls are my main audience, I also want to make it so that boys can enjoy the graphic novel too so I wanted to know if boys like it or is it too feminine.

Question 1-

I asked, ‘What do you think of the art style and why?

I was wonderful to know that everyone liked the art style, almost all of them found it; cute, effective, adorable, brightly coloured, simple, fun and perfectly fitted the story and target audience. This is wonderful because I know know the art does appeal to my target audience and it fitting so it doesn't look odd and that people love the art since that is a huge part of a graphic novel.

Question 2-

I asked, ‘What do you think about how the graphic novel is laid out and why?’

This was also very positive, they found the layout good because it wasn't too crowded/cluttered, easy to read/follow, interesting, perfect and professional looking. This is wonderful since I didn’t want it to look amateur looking and unappealing by it being crowded, since this can make it hard to read and that could result in people become confused or frustrated and hating the graphic novel to completely missing the story. Some told me how I could improve it which was experiment more by adding more variety in the shape of the panels, which I think is a very good idea, adding variety and stopping it for getting boring and repetitive, so I’ll try to do this in the next chapter, especially in the fourth one since that chapter has an action scene which i want to be very interesting.

Question 3-

I asked, ‘What do you think of the interactive elements?’.

I got great feedback for this question since not only did people try to tell me how they felt about it but also how I can improve it. Most people said how they are fun to use, interesting, funny and brilliant (such as the enlargeable speech bubbles). Other told me about how sometimes it is hard to read (this is mostly about the colour red which I currently trying to figure out since its too late now to redo all the speech bubbles) and the page numbers which is mostly because I've not properly added them yet but its great to know that people want them to be added.

Question 4-

I asked, ‘How could I improve this graphic novel?’.

Some of the answers are similar to the answers about such as the quality of speech bubbles and the page numbers and one person said how I should developed/add more characters which I’ll try to do with Marshmallow in the next chapters. Most people said about how they liked how it was and they want me to continue with how it already is, so I now know what I’m doing is good and there are only a few things I need to add or try to fix.

Question 5-

I asked, ‘Did you find any glitches or problems and if so what were they?’.

It’s great to know that once again no one found any glitches in my graphic novel but there is always the last play test to finalized if my graphic novel is truly glitch free.

7 people said yes saying that they would because they loved the art, the characters personality, it’s enjoyable, entertaining and the story is fascinating while having great quality. This is amazing to know since it shows my work still appeals to my target audience. 1 person said maybe, it depend on the final product which is understandable since it still isn't completed yet. 

OVERALL

I received fantastic feedback which will greatly help me since I know understand what is good, what they enjoy, what more i could add, how i could improve and know that my graphic novel  still appeals to my target audience. I will be apply all my research to my graphic novel with the rest of the stories such as trying to add all the ideas they said i could improve on such as the page numbers, possibly the speech bubbles and the panel shapes in order to keep my audience interested for when it is finally completed.

[daebakinc]

Mind Tricks (I)

Summary: When a coworker offers you a magical solution to your one-sided office crush, you’re desperate enough to take it with unexpected results. Pairing: Junmyeon x OC Genre: CEO AU, Magic, Fluff, Smut

“You’re welcome.”

“Excuse me?” You turn around from your desk to look at your teammate with a half smile.“Your last free coffee’s already waiting by your desktop, genius.  A week is all we agreed to when you helped me with that presentation.”

“Wrong answer.” Baekhyun smirks and pushes off the counter he was leaning on to saunter into your shared corner. He flops into his seat. “The correct answer is: ‘Thank you so much, Baekhyun, my best friend in the world, for solving my weeks long inability to make a move on my crush.'”

“Could you be any louder?” you hiss, desperately throwing a glance over your shoulder. Thankfully, everyone within hearing distance is either late or still too deep in their morning stupor to pay attention to your loudmouth friend. “And it is not a crush. I-”

“Oh, it is so a crush,” Baekhyun chuckles. He does lower his voice though as he continues, “I was sitting right beside you when he first came in. Kim Junmyeon, Human Relations extraordinaire, here to make us the most fantastic team in the city. You were all moon eyed from the start. That’s not to mention everything else.” He starts ticking off on his fingers. “First, you’re like the teacher’s pet in his meetings when you normally just observe in those things. Second, you started eating in the downstairs cafeteria, where he eats, instead of in the floor break room. Third, your voice gets a pitch higher when you talk to him; thank god you don’t do that fake laugh thing some girls do or I’d disown you. Fourth-”

“My voice does not get higher,” you cut in. You cross your arms in warning, but he persists.

“Yes, Mr. Kim, here are the surveys you wanted,” Baekhyun teases in a falsetto, fanning himself. “I’m so sorry they’re late. I just got lost in those sparkling brown eyes-”

“One more word and I am never saving your ass from a bad date again.”

“Okay, okay.” Baekhyun raises his hands in surrender, but his smile is still in place. He reaches into his jacket pocket, toying with something. “Does that mean you’re not interested in what I got you?”

Turning back to your computer, you gamely reply, “Correct. Thanks, but no thanks. Knowing you, I don’t want to know.”

“Well, I’m going to give it to you anyway because that’s what friends do.”

Soft fabric brushes your arm, accompanied by a dull thunk. Glancing to the side you see a lilac velvet pouch, no bigger than your hand, kept closed with a thin gold string. “A bag is going to solve my problems?”

“Open it. Unless you really meant you didn’t want to know.”

You take another look at the bag. It looks like an antique, a bit battered but obviously high quality at one point. Like Pandora’s box, it gives no hints of its contents. Instead, it begs to be opened, to have its secrets revealed. Your mother always warned you that curiosity killed the cat. However, you’d always retorted that satisfaction brought it back and like the proverbial cat, you often depend on those extra lives. Your eyes flick over to Baekhyun. He’s trying to look invested in his inbox. The eager tap of his fingers and smile still tickling the corner of his mouth give him away.

“I hate that you know me so well,” you grumble with a sigh. Saving your work, you undo the gold knot and reach inside the pouch.

The heart shaped vial you pull out is made of old fashioned thick, cloudy glass. Scrolls and whorls on its surface bleed into one another and invite your fingers to trace them. The pale wooden cork on top is soft with age. It keeps dark burgundy liquid safe inside like an old secret. Some sunlight seeps through the glass to the liquid, catching flecks of light in it so the liquid seems to swirl even though you hold the bottle still.

You raise your eyebrows. “Please tell me this isn’t you suggesting I get him or both of us drunk and make out or something.”

“It’s not alcohol. It’s perfume. Kinda. ” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and flips around a small tag you hadn’t noticed.

“Love Spell?”

“Yep.”

“Baek, where’d you get this?”

“Remember how I went back to my grandmother’s for the weekend because I’ve been promising Yixing down the hall we’d go for forever? Well, we did and right before we left, he saw a sign for fortune telling and wanted to go in. Honestly, I was surprised she’s still around; I remember her when I was a kid and she still looks the same.

Anyway, I was looking around while she read Yixing’s fortune and I saw this. Not that I don’t believe in you, but I thought you could use the extra help. The fortune teller said that’s her most potent potion too.”

“Baekhyun,” you laugh. “Thank you for the thought, but a magic potion? I really hope this isn’t some weird way of hitting on me.”

He laughs too. “Been there, done that, remember? We were fun, but no sparks. That’s why you’re my wing-woman. That potion’s legit.”

“Magic doesn’t exist.”

“It really works!” Baekhyun insists. “My grandmother knows at least five couples it helped get together and they’re happy as can be! You just put three drops on like usual perfume while thinking of the person you want to fall in love with you and the instant they smell it, boom! They’re hooked. Kiss them at midnight on the 12th day of wearing the perfume and they’re yours for good.”

You eye the vial, still skeptical. “Five couples?”

“Look.” He leans forward, his gaze becoming sincere. “Junmyeon is only here another week. You don’t make some kind of move now, you might not ever be able to.”

“I know,” you reply quietly.

“'If’ is a more dangerous word than people give it credit for.”

Looking over your cubicle wall, you find the object of your affections. Unlike his predecessor, Junmyeon always has the blinds of his office open, he says to encourage people to drop in and talk. The amazing thing is that he actually listens and tries to help when he can. Kind, polite, and good-humored, Junmyeon was going to be missed by more people than just you. He is without a doubt a gentleman, a rare specimen in today’s world.

Dedicated man he is, he’s already at his desk, jacket on the back of his chair and shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His dark hair is classically styled, but some still manages to tickle his forehead. The thick frames of his glasses can’t hide the little lines that form between his eyes as he frowns in concentration and it’s unbearably cute.

You almost sigh, but catch yourself when you remember Baekhyun is watching you. He grins a shit-eating grin anyway. You put the bottle down with a glare.

“You gonna do it?” he sings.

“You don’t have any confidence in my feminine charms?”

Baekhyun snorts, ruffling your hair. “When you’re not trying, you’re irresistible. When you intentionally flirt, not so much.”

“I know,” you moan, dropping your head in your hands. “Why is flirting so hard? Why can’t I just woman up and ask him out?”

“That’s what this handy-dandy potion is for. So you don’t have to. Junmyeon can man up and ask you.”

“Junmyeon-”

The man in question suddenly calls your name and you pop out of your seat so fast you almost fall. Regaining your footing if not your dignity, you calmly ask, “Yes, Junmyeon?”

“Would you mind coming in here for a second, please? I need your opinion.”

“Of course.”

As you move to leave your desk, Baekhyun catches your wrist and nods towards the potion. “Worth a shot, no?”

You glance at the bottle. The potion within winks at you invitingly. Finally, you throw up your hands and mutter, “Fine.”

Baekhyun smiles and puts the bottle in your hand.

You pull the stopper. Jasmine, cherry blossom, and lily of the valley suffuse the air, bringing to mind summer and first love’s innocence. “Here goes nothing.”

“Don’t forget to say his name three times.”

Junmyeon’s name ghosts on your lips as you quickly dab three drops of the potion on your wrists and neck. Baekhyun gives you a thumbs up. You hurry out of your area and into Junmyeon’s office.

He looks up at you and smiles. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” You smile back, your heart fluttering helplessly. “You needed something?”

“Yes.” Junmyeon pushes his glasses up and gestures at his desktop. “I’m planning the company retreat for next month as a favor to the president. You’ve been here longer than I have of course, so I wanted to ask what you think of the events I’ve planned.”

You walk around his desk and he obligingly shifts his chair so you can look closer. Leaning in, your arm brushes his chest, but you try to ignore it.

Scrolling through the lists and itinerary he created, you nod in approval. “Looks good. I think it’ll be a really fun day.”

“Not too many corny team-building events?”

“We all know they’re obligatory, so you won’t hear any complaining. Besides, you end before lunch and then everyone can choose their own activities, so I think that’ll make everyone happy.” You point to part of the list. “Maybe you could add some indoor activities too for the older employees since it’ll be hotter in the summer? Like a sauna or dance class if it’s not too late to book?”

Junmyeon taps a pen to his lips. “Excellent idea. I’ll contact the resort after my meeting later. Thanks.” He scribbles down a note to himself on a sticky note. “

“You’re very welcome.” You straighten up and move towards the door. When he calls after you, you turn around, hand on the door frame. “Yes?”

Junmyeon coughs. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound strange, but… are you wearing perfume?”

You stiffen. Baekhyun’s ridiculous magic potion can’t be working. It can’t.“Yes.”

“It’s nice. Really nice,” he says shyly. His eyes linger on yours, a different smile than you’ve seen before on his lips.

“Oh. Thank you.” Heart racing, you retreat.

“So, how’d it go?” Baekhyun asks as soon as you’re back in your chair.

“He complimented it,” you reply with a shrug. “He didn’t propose to me, if that’s what you were looking for.”

“That’s what day twelve is for.”

“Okay,” you snort.

“Well, if you’re going to be a non-believer,” Baekhyun says, reaching for the bottle that’s still sitting by your keyboard, “I’ll just take this back and-”

You swipe it out of his reach, making him laugh. “I didn’t say I was going to stop using it. A little superstition never hurt anyone. Besides, I like how it smells. If nothing else, it’ll make a nice perfume.”

He grins knowingly.“Sure.”

“You’re still here?”

Glancing up, you’re not the least surprised to see Junmyeon leaning on the divider, chin resting on his folded arms. Both of you are almost always some of the last people to leave.

“I was just finishing up some emails from this morning. Less to get behind on tomorrow.” You push back to grab your bag from under your desk, stand, and stretch. “All done now though. You?”

“Same.”

Junmyeon waits for you, falling into step beside you and pressing the elevator button. It’s almost a habit for you and Junmyeon to walk out together, pleasantly chatting about nothing until you part ways.

Not expecting anything more, you say goodbye once you exit the building and step towards your way home.

Junmyeon reaches out and touches your arm. “Would you mind if I asked you something?”

Curiosity engaged, you shake your head.“Of course not.”

“I’m sorry to be strange again, and doubly so if this is too personal a question.” He hesitates, catching his lower lip in his teeth as he looks at you. “Are you- are you and Baekhyun… seeing each other?”

“Like dating?”

“Yes.” His cheeks flush an adorable shade of pink that makes you want to kiss them. Words tumble over themselves as he adds, “It’s not really any of my business and I assure you, it’s not that I think dating should be forbidden between coworkers, because honestly that just causes more problems than it prevents and-”

Taking pity on him, you interrupt. “We’re not. We’re just friends, coworkers. Nothing more.”

“Oh. I thought… Never mind. In that case, I know it’s a little out of the blue and I’m going back to my company after Friday, but would you like to go to dinner with me this Saturday evening?”

Your heart thuds in your chest.“This Saturday?”

“If not Saturday, maybe Sunday?” Junmyeon asks hopefully, watching your face carefully.

“Saturday is fine.” You give him a small smile, trying not to beam or squeak or something equally embarrassing as to scare him off. “I’d love to.”

The smile he returns is brilliant. “Awesome. Great. There’s a great little place a friend of mine opened a few weeks ago and I think you’ll love it. I’ll pick you up at 7, okay?”

“I could meet you there if you’d like.”

“It’s no trouble, really. Oh, may I have your number so you can send me your address, please?”

It’s unbelievable how cute politeness can be. You readily recite the digits of your cellphone number, adding him as a contact as soon as you receive his text.

“Couldn’t you have pulled both from my file in human resources?” you ask.

“Ah, but that would be using my powers for selfish gain, not the greater good, and I am forbidden by my Kryptonian father from doing so," Junmyeon jokes, his smile widening when you laugh. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Until tomorrow. Have a good night, Junmyeon.”

“You as well. Get home safe.” With a nod of his head, he turns and heads down the sidewalk. He glances back at you once, smiling sheepishly and looking away quickly when he catches your eye.

Once he rounds the corner, you start walking towards your bus stop. Grabbing your phone, you speedily dial.

He answers after the second ring.“Hello?”

“Baekhyun, you are never going to believe what just happened.”

“Junmyeon asked you out.”

You frown, a little disappointed you didn’t get to say it. “How did you know?”

“It’s the potion,” he says smugly. “Seems your friend isn’t as crazy as you thought, huh?”

“I don’t know.” You take the bottle out of your purse and gaze at in wonder. “Magic doesn’t exist but this… this is unreal.”

“Anyone ever told you love is magic?”

“Oh my god, Byun Baekhyun. That is one of the corniest lines I have ever heard you utter.”

“I bet Junmyeon has even worse that he’ll try on your date, judging from those awful dad jokes he likes telling.”

You giggle then stop. “I’m actually going on a date with Kim Junmyeon, aren’t I?” The realization hits you again and the exuberance you suppressed before bursts through with a loud squeal that probably has Baekhyun holding the phone away from his ear.

Next Chapter

[imagineonlyproductions-blog]

Why does everybody hate Jurassic World so much?

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was released two weeks ago. It currently sits at #1 in the box office and has grossed $274,000,000 so far. Rotten Tomatoes lists a critic score of 51% and an audience score of 58%. 

If you type in this film’s name on Youtube you will get a barrage of bad reviews, claiming this film to be indescribably worse than the original. I’ve noticed that some of the primary reasons are: (like the first) 

The characters are terrible and have no progression.

The plot is terrible and does nothing original.

The CGI is terrible.

I keep hearing people saying that Jurassic World needs to just end and they should never make another movie in this franchise. Most of the people saying these things are die-hard fans of the original film. 

Now, I’m not claiming that the original film isn’t a groundbreaking piece of cinema. I’m also not saying that this movie is Shakespeare. I’m simply trying to figure out what about these two new movies has every fan so outraged. I thought they were fine films and I would actually argue that the first Jurassic World does a better job of doing what Jurassic Park did in many ways. (I understand of course that I must now be crucified for that opinion)

I’m going to address the criticisms one by one, and hopefully explain why Jurassic World in particular isn’t so bad. 

1.  The characters are terrible and have no progression:

This is a case of ignoring character progression because you’ve already decided that you don’t like a film.

Zach and Gray are two brothers who are going to Jurassic World for the weekend to be looked after by their Aunt Claire. Their mother and father are getting a divorce, and they don’t want the boys to have to be around for the proceedings. 

Gray, the younger brother, loves dinosaurs. He isn’t stupid though because he can sense that something is going on with his parents. He knows about the divorce because he found the letters in the trash. Instead of telling anyone, he tries to be strong like his big brother Zach.

Zach is a teenager who is trying to be cool and tough despite having no idea what those words mean. He’s trying to act like his parents’ divorce isn’t bothering him, when in reality, he’s just as afraid as Gray. Unfortunately, he’s too cool for that.

Claire is obsessed with her career. He doesn’t like the idea of being a typical female stereotype, and as a result, she has distanced herself from everyone who makes her feel like she in dependent. Her sister expresses that she wishes Claire would visit more and she scolds Claire for leaving Zach and Gray with her assistant instead of being with her nephews. Claire used to date Owen, a raptor trainer and all around macho man. She is attracted to Owen, but she doesn’t like him very much anymore because he IS that typical macho man and expects her to just go with it. 

Owen....has very little character arc in this film.

By the end of the movie Claire learns that her family is ultimately very important, but she does it without giving up her agency. She buckles down and saves her nephews all while wearing a pair of high heels, a clear symbol of her intact femininity while performing heroic acts which would have been relegated to a man in most other films.

Zach realizes that he needs to be there for his brother during this hard time. He also learns that being emotional is ok and that trying to be “cool” isn’t going to keep him from being afraid like everyone else. 

Gray learns to trust his brother. He gains the strength to deal with his parents’ divorce and he knows now that he will never truly be alone.

Owen.... learns very little in this film.

2. The plot was terrible and it does nothing original.

Jurassic World is based off of the principle that Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum’s character in JP) expressed in Jurassic Park. Nature can’t be contained and we shouldn’t be playing God. 

The film shows how quickly the park developers swept everything under the rug from the first park and opened the second without REALLY fixing the problems. They continued with Hammond’s misguided idea that he could just fix the problems and start over while still attempting to control the uncontrollable. 

They treated a brand new dinosaur as a piece of property and not as a living being. They built a cage for this animal and didn’t even know how big it was going to get. The put the lives of thousands of people in danger for bigger thrills because they didn’t respect the power that they were wielding. This film speaks of animal rights and of preserving the flow of nature. 

(The idea for genetically modified dinosaurs was going to be Spielberg's fourth movie anyway) The idea of creating new dinosaurs for entertainment was one that wasn’t explored in the past three films but was done very well here. The Indominous Rex was terrifying and it was interesting to see what other abilities it had. 

The film does much of what the first did but adds MORE dinosaurs and MORE thrilling set pieces. 

3. The CGI is terrible:

This is a lie. Point-blank, period. This is a lie. OBJECTIVELY the CGI in any studio film of 2018 is better than the CGI of the 90s. Technology has improved in a million different ways. Lighting is more realistic. Shadows have deeper definition. Textures are rendered at a higher resolution. There are skin and muscle simulations going on inside of the bodies of every dinosaur, making them move even closer to how they would if they existed today.

The reason the original Jurassic Park had “better” CGI is the same reason why Avatar had amazing CGI. It was the first time you had seen anything like that, and nothing that you see every day in every movie will ever take you back to the moment when you saw a T-Rex walk across the big screen. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing, but it gets in the way of reality. There is nothing wrong with loving the CGI in the original. That movie inspired me to be an animator. Facts are facts though. The new one looks more REALISTIC and you’re just not caught up in “Movie Magic” anymore because you know how it was done. (The gorilla in the original King Kong looks fake as hell but when people saw it in 1933, they didn’t know how it was done and they swore that they really created a giant ape to film.)

To wrap up, I don’t think that the movies are perfect, but from the standpoint that the first Jurassic Park was SOOOO great because it was new and had never been seen before, I feel that these movies do a better job. If I showed JW to a kid and then JP to them, I’m sure they would enjoy JW more. That’s the point. These are movies with scary dinosaurs. The first film was not a big deal for its amazing storytelling. (It changes things form the book that would have made the story so much better BTW)

I love Jurassic Park. I’m glad to see that they are making more of these movies. I watched the first film on VHS as a child and it blew me away. I know that these movies are blowing some kid’s mind right now, and that’s important in my book.

[helenpattersoon]

Color meanings and the art of using color psychology

You see colors in everything around you, every moment of the day—but do you ever stop to think about the impact each of those colors is having on you? Whether it’s the calming effect of blue skies and fields of green, or the saliva-inducing red and yellow of your local fast food chain, each color is tapping into an emotion. There’s a whole science (and art) in the meanings of different colors. As an entrepreneur or designer, it’s essential to be aware of these color meanings to help you choose your colors wisely and tap into the magical power of color psychology.

A bright and colorful business card design by Daria V. for Mama J.

For a business—whether it’s yours or your client’s—there are all sorts of places where color comes into play. You might immediately think of branding elements like the logo, business cards and stationery. Color choices will also be meaningful across online communication and marketing materials: your website, social media, emails, presentations as well as offline tools like flyers and product packaging.

Millions of years of biological conditioning have created certain associations between colors and objects or emotions, while some associations may be more recent. Understanding these associations will give you a shortcut to your customer’s heart, provoking a specific emotion and maybe even a behavior. Feelings are much more powerful than rational thoughts based on facts and figures and applying color psychology will make your branding efforts and designs much more effective.

Choosing colors —

Choose your colors carefully. Design for a pencil set by ve_sta for Vibrant Colors.

Before getting into the meanings of different colors, there are a few things you want to have in mind first:

Your target audience—You always want to start with a clear idea of who you are talking to. Marketing to kids (and their parents) will require a different approach to marketing to high-end luxury consumers.

Your brand personality—Is your brand more masculine or feminine, playful or serious, modern or classic? You’ll need to have a good feel for your brand identity so that you can choose the best color fit. (Read this article for more on creating your own brand scheme.)

Your competition—This is a tricky one: sometimes you’ll want to play by the rules of your industry to make sure that people recognize what your company does and sometimes you’ll want to break those rules so that you stand out against the crowd with a new and innovative approach to the industry.

Your color choices can have a huge impact. Wine label design by it’s a DOG’s life.

A few things to watch out for, as well:

Cultural differences—Red represents good luck in China but in South Africa it’s the color of mourning. Americans associate green with money as that’s the color of dollar bills but that isn’t the case globally. You’ll need to be sensitive to these differences depending on where you are operating. Colors may also change in significance over time: red used to be seen as a strong, masculine color while blue was a feminine color suited for girls.

Shades and tones—A color may have a general meaning but lighter shades can vary dramatically compared to darker shades, while more natural, muted shades will differ from artificial neon colors. Make sure that you look at the specific associations of the different shades and tones. For example, if you’re using neon green, don’t assume that just because you’ve chosen a shade of green it’s going to be a good fit for an eco-friendly brand.

Color combinations—You’re probably going to be using more than one color and so you’ll need to give some thought to which colors work well together as well as which secondary colors can help you to add some highlights or accents. You can read more about the color wheel here.

For an example of a business that got it wrong, just take a look at the disaster that was Heinz purple ketchup.

Now let’s explore what all those colors mean…

All the colors of the rainbow —

Red is for energy, passion and danger

Red and yellow is a classic combination that screams ‘fast food’. Logo design by chocoboracer for Chicken Heads.

What it means

Red is associated with the heat of energy and passion, we “see red” when we’re angry and it’s also the color of blood, making it a powerful color in branding. Think of the bold red of a fireman’s truck or the ‘stop’ sign in traffic. Red is also said to stimulate appetite, which is why it’s popular in fast food chains—most famously in McDonald’s, which combines red with another primary color, yellow.

Netflix uses red to attract users to its platform, with red calls-to-action to join or sign in. Another famously red brand is Coca-Cola (and, as the story goes, it was Coke’s marketing campaign that branded Santa Claus red). It will be interesting to see what happens with Coca-Cola’s recent packaging redesign as they move away from that iconic red to match its new Diet Coke flavors with other colors.

How to use it

Red and black is a bold combination that’s masculine and powerful. Design by torvs.

If you have a loud brand and want to stand out, then red could be the color for you. Its high energy makes it a great choice for caffeine drinks, fast cars or sports. With its appetite-stimulating qualities, it’s a good match for restaurants who want to bring in hungry customers. It can also be used as an accent color to draw attention to something on your packaging, or to get visitors to ‘buy it now’ on your website.

Orange is for creativity, youth and enthusiasm

A juicy, bright orange label design by WolfBell.

What it means

As a secondary color, orange combines the warmth and heat of red with the playfulness and joy of yellow. It attracts attention without being as daring as red, and is used for warning signs like traffic cones and high-visibility clothing. It’s an energetic color that can bring to mind health and vitality, given its obvious link to oranges and vitamin C. It’s a youthful color as well, bringing an element of vibrancy and fun.

A good example of using orange to connect with a young audience in a fun way is Nickelodeon. To promote energy and activity, Gatorade uses an orange lightning bolt, while orange is also a popular color for tropical drinks like Fanta. There may be unusual historical reasons behind a brand’s choice of color: luxury brand Hermès chose orange because it was the only paperboard available during World War II! It’s a confident color but not usually associated with luxury.

How to use it

The orange brings an unexpected creative touch to the finance business in this logo by Cross the Lime.

Orange can be a great choice for a youthful and creative brand that wants to be a bit different to the mainstream. It’s a friendly color that also stimulates action so, like red, it can be used as an accent color to catch the eye and promote activity.

Yellow is for happiness, hope and spontaneity

Uplifting, yellow quinoa packaging design entry by Mila Katagarova.

What it means

Ah, yellow. The color of the sun, smiley faces and sunflowers. It’s a happy color, full of hope and positivity. It’s another color that grabs your attention and for that reason can also be used to signify caution, like red and orange.

The golden arches of McDonald’s (well, they’re yellow, really) are a globally recognized symbol that can be seen from far away and immediately gets associated with fast food. In the same way, Best Buy’s yellow tag indicates a reduced cost for its cost-conscious customers (say that quickly three times!).

How to use it

This shade of yellow works well for a happy, healthy brand like Why Bar in this packaging by Martis Lupus.

Yellow is a great choice if speed, fun and low cost are attributes that you want associated with your brand. Be careful with different shades, though: a bright yellow will grab people’s attention right away and it’s a useful way of highlighting or accenting a design, a pale or warm yellow can look natural and healthy, while a neon yellow can instead be very artificial.

Green is for nature, growth and harmony – but also wealth and stability

The green works well with the natural material in this organic bamboo packaging by tomdesign.org for Midori Way.

What it means

Green is universally associated with nature, linked as it is to grass, plants and trees. It also represents growth and renewal, being the color of spring and rebirth. Another association is “getting the green light” to go ahead, giving it an association with taking action. In the US, green (and especially dark green) is also associated with money and so represents prosperity and stability.

Green is also often seen as a fourth color on top of the primary red, yellow and blue (think Microsoft and Google), bringing a sense of visual balance and, as a result, a soothing and relaxing influence. Famous brands that use different shades of green include Starbucks, Spotify and Whole Foods Market.

How to use it

The two shades of green are a perfect fit for this eco-friendly brand logo by ultrastjarna.

The connection to nature makes green a natural choice (see what I did there?) for a brand that’s eco friendly, organic or sustainable. As with yellow, be wary of the fact that while muted or lighter shades of green can represent nature, neon versions will have the opposite effect and will feel more artificial and less harmonious. On a website, a green call to action can suggest ‘go’—although the battle rages on with red buttons, which can instead suggest urgency.

Blue is for calm, trust and intelligence

Business card design by KreativeMouse.

What it means

Blue is the most popular color in the world, both when it comes to personal preferences (for both genders) and usage in business logos. It’s a serene and calming color that represents intelligence and responsibility. It’s the go-to color for trusted, corporate institutions, often in combination with a mature grey:

IT companies e.g. Intel, Microsoft, IBM, HP, Dell

Finance institutions e.g. American Express, Visa, Goldman Sachs, Paypal

Big corporations e.g. Procter & Gamble, General Electric, General Motors, Boeing and Lowe’s

Blue is also the natural choice for professional network LinkedIn.

Interestingly, blue is the color of choice for many other social networks too. Facebook is blue – apparently because founder Mark Zuckerberg is red-green color blind and blue is the most vivid color that he can see. The association with trust and dependability does work well in the context of a social network, with all the concerns around data privacy and so on, and you’ll find that Twitter is also blue, as are Instagram, Russia’s VKontakte and even social media site Mashable.

How to use it

Another area where trust is paramount: blue works well in this BabySafe packaging by daenerysALEINA.

If you want to be immediately associated with professionalism and trust, then blue is the color for you. Since it’s universally liked, it’s also a great choice if you want to appeal to both men and women. Its association with calm and tranquility means that blue is also a good fit if your business is in things like relaxation, therapy or meditation.

Purple is for luxury, mystery and spirituality

Magical, purple book cover design entry by Meella.

What it means

Purple is an interesting beast: it’s both warm and cool and combines the passion and energy of red with the calm and serenity of blue. Because of its associations with royalty, purple is inherently prestigious and luxurious. Purple dye was historically expensive, which meant that only wealthy rulers could afford it. The ruling classes and kings and queens of old would wear purple and Queen Elizabeth I even forbade anyone outside of the royal family from wearing it. Purple is also associated with religion and spirituality, since the ancient rulers were thought of as descendants of the gods and the color holds a special meaning in religions including Catholicism, Judaism and Buddhism. On top of all that purple is on trend, Ultra Violet being Pantone’s choice for color of the year 2018.

Funnily enough, brands are not always as strategic in choosing colors as they should be. Yahoo, as the story goes, ended up purple because that was the cheapest paint color available to renovate the offices back in the early days. You can see a more typical use of purple in the Asprey brand, a British luxury company with a heritage that goes back to the 1700s and a Royal Warrant for every British monarch since Queen Victoria.

How to use it

Purple is a good fit for a mystical fairytale book publisher (not to mention the name of the publisher!) in this Purple Pixie logo by yase for Purple Pixie.

Use purple when you want to evoke those luxurious, royal connections—combine it with gold for that extra ‘wow’. Or use it when you want to add a dash of mysticism and spirituality to your brand. Add some green for a really striking contrast or with pink to emphasize the feminine.

The neutrals —

Black is for power, elegance and sophistication

A striking, all-black wine label design by Dan Newman.

What it means

Although black can have negative connotations—it’s the color of death, fear and grief—it’s more generally associated with power and elegance when it comes to branding and marketing. It’s bold, powerful and a little mysterious and it can be intimidating and unapproachable as well. At the same time, it’s an inherently neutral color and is often used for typography and other functional elements.

Luxury brands like Chanel and Dior keep things stylish with an iconic black-and-white logo. Brands like these want to be a little intimidating and unapproachable as that makes them more exclusive and aspirational. The James Bond 007 logo is black. Newspaper logos also tend to be in black, given the historic black-and-white printing presses. Of course, most brands will have a black-and-white version of their logo as printing in black and white tends to be cheaper than color printing.

How to use it

Simple black logo design by Project 4.

If you want to convey a sense of luxury, you can’t go wrong with a simple black-and-white color scheme. Combined with a gold, silver or why not a royal purple, you’ll give your brand an air of exclusivity and prestige. On the other hand, black can also be used with bright colors for contrast and when combined with other powerful colors like red or orange it can be quite impactful, even aggressive.

White is for purity, innocence and minimalism

This minimalist design emphasizes the purity of the spirit while letting the brand’s big red ‘C’ stand out in a simple label design by Wooden Horse for Cabby’s Rum.

What it means

If you know your science, then you’ll know that white light actually contains all the colors of the rainbow—but to the naked eye at least, white is the opposite: it’s the absence of any color. White represents purity and innocence and creates a minimalist aesthetic. It can be very simple, clean and modern. It’s also the most neutral color of all and can be quite non-descript as a base for other, more exciting, colors.

Apple’s advertising and packaging give a powerful illustration of how white can be used for a modern and minimalist aesthetic that puts the beautiful product design center stage. Marc Jacobs prints a simple black logo onto white luxury retail boxes and shopping bags. Health and beauty brands that want to convey an air of purity and natural ingredients will also tend to use white in their packaging. It’s an obvious fit for wedding brands as well, given the traditional association with virginity and white wedding gowns.

How to use it

This white packaging design by Imee008 keeps things very clean and simple.

White space can be as important in a design as all the other creative elements. White tends to be the color used for website backgrounds as it ensures that your text is easy to read. It’s also often used as a secondary accent in a color scheme. Together with pastels, it can bring to mind spring and femininity; combined with simple black it becomes classic and minimalistic. When it comes to white, it’s a lot about the colors you put it with.

Gray is for professionalism, formality and conventionality

A modern and formal – but in this case a little unconventional – grey and black web design by Mila Jones Cann

What it means

Gray is a more mature, responsible color, associated with the gray hair of old age. Its positive connotations include formality and dependability, while the negative side can mean being overly conservative, conventional and lacking in emotion. It’s safe and quite subdued, serious and reserved.

Gray is rarely the star of the show. Nintendo briefly favored a gray logo from 2008 to 2016 but has since gone back to its earlier red. Jewelry brand Swarovski does have a gray logo, although if you look at the website the version used there is black. You’re more likely to see the color gray as a secondary color, playing a supporting role to some other, stronger, character.

How to use it

This rare use of grey as the main color works well for a sleek packaging design by syakuro.

Use gray if you have a serious brand and you want to communicate the authority and stability of a corporate institution. Combine it with blue for the ultimate in conservatism and dependability. It’s actually also a very popular color in web design. You may want to consider using gray as an alternative to white for a softer website background—or as an alternative to black text for a less harsh contrast and an easier read.

The best of the rest —

Brown is for wholesomeness, warmth and honesty

The brown color choice adds to a traditional-looking stamp effect in this Welsh bakery logo design by ultrastjarna.

What it means

Brown is a natural color, associated with the earth and as a result giving a sense of stability and support. Given its link to the earth, brown brings to mind farming and agriculture and other outdoorsy activities. It’s warm and friendly, practical and dependable, and can also represent the old fashioned and well established.

Brown is not used that often in logos. When it is, it tends to represent utility. Although blue is the typical corporate color, UPS has used brown to represent dependability (along with a later addition of yellow to bring an element of warmth and friendliness). Up until recently (well, 2010), they even used the color in their tagline: “What can brown do for you?”

How to use it

A bold splash of pink gives this chocolate brand a more contemporary feel in a design by Zoe Schtorm for Chocodiem.

Brown is a warm, neutral color that you can use as a background that conveys warmth and wholesomeness. Use it for an earthy brand and in a natural pairing with green to really capture that organic feel. You can also use brown to give the impression of a well-established heritage and a sense of tradition. Brown works well for chocolate brands, for obvious reasons.

Pink is for femininity, playfulness and romance

Pink tells you that this product is for women in this packaging design by FreshApple for My Fit Day.

What it means

In modern times, it’s impossible to see pink and not think of little girls, cotton candy and brightly colored bubble gum. Pink represents femininity and romance, sensitivity and tenderness. It’s inherently sweet, cute and charming.

Together with brown, pink is among the least common colors in logos. Typical uses of bright pink include Barbie and Cosmopolitan, with their obvious target markets, and Baskin Robbins and Dunkin’ Donuts who are tapping into the ‘sweet’ side of the color. Wedding companies and other feminine brands often favor a lighter pink. Less typical uses include Lyft and TMobile—both challenger brands, who aim to stand out from their competitors and bring an element of playfulness and approachability.

How to use it

Pink snack packaging design entry by Martis Lupus.

Using pink is a quick shortcut to communicating “this is for women” and if you know it’ll appeal to your female target market, then it’s a great choice. For some audiences, though, it can be off-putting and you may want to be more creative in communicating femininity without resorting to clichés. You can also use it in unexpected ways to stand out versus your dull and dreary competitors or add a surprising element to an otherwise sophisticated design.

Multicolor is for fun, diversity and optimism

A bright and multicolored web design by Denise M.

What it means

We’ve looked at the meanings of individual colors. So what happens when you bring them all together? What feelings are evoked with multicolored designs? Well, while monochromatic branding can bring focus and style, colorful branding can show that a brand is playful, informal and creative.

As you can imagine, kids’ brands often use multicolored designs—think Toys”R”Us or Crayola—but grown-up brands can get creative too! Google uses multiple colors in its logo to represent the playfulness of the brand. An interesting case is ebay, which had a similarly colorful logo up until 2017 when it simplified its logo to one color in its marketing (although the colored logo is still used on the website). Likewise, Apple evolved its logo from the multicolored striped apple to a sleeker silver one.

How to use it

A multi-colored logo communicates “this is for kids!” in this dentist’s logo by Carmen Vermillion for Juanita Kids Dentistry.

Why choose one when you can choose them all?! Using many colors in your branding and designs can be a great way to stand out, show your playfulness and appeal to children or a more creative audience. Think about whether you want to use complementary colors to provide a real ‘pop’ (colors that are opposites on the color wheel, for example, purple and orange), analogous colors for greater harmony (colors that sit next to each other, for example, red, orange and yellow) or triadic colors for a more dynamic effect (colors that are evenly spaced around the color wheel). You can read more about these different color combinations in this article on color theory.

Metallics are for wealth, prosperity and success

This combination of silver and purple on black communicates the exclusivity of this party rental business—it’s definitely not for kids!—in a business card design by ultrastjarna for Specialty Party Rentals.

What it means

Gold and silver are both precious metals, associated with riches and expensive jewelry. Often combined with black, adding a touch of glimmering metal can immediately give a brand that element of glamor. Gold is also the color of a winner, associated as it is with the medal for first place, and can represent success. It’s a warm color related to yellow and as a result shares the attributes of feeling bright and cheerful. Silver is cooler and a little less luxurious, coming in at second place but still representing grace and elegance. Third-place bronze captures the qualities of brown and so it’s more earthy, natural and mature.

Rolex uses a gold crown in its logo, while Lamborghini and Porsche use elements of gold as well. The Louis Vuitton monogram could be said to be gold and brown (although the gold shade is actually called ‘dirt!’). Clearly, gold is the color of luxury! On the other hand, silver is used a lot in car logos—VW, Toyota, Hyundai, Nissan, Audi, Mercedes—where it denotes quality and workmanship.

How to use it

Hot gold foil on a black background gives this wine label design and packaging by Esteban T an exclusive feel for Petit Verdot.

Metallic effects can be hard to recreate online—they’re more materials really, or textures, than they are colors. Gold is essentially a shiny yellow, silver is shiny gray and bronze shiny brown. You can still suggest metallic tones on a website or in a logo using shading and highlighting but the full impact will be seen on printed materials where you can use a foil to get that metallic sheen. For a look that instantly says ‘luxury’, you can’t go wrong with black and gold.

Heading out into the world of color —

Different color options open up a whole world of possibilities. Packaging design by Catus for vivo bem.

So there you go, an epic journey through colors, emotions and brand identities.

Of course, it’s not an exact science. People may have personal preferences that override any deeper biological tendencies, cultures vary in their interpretations and there may be other things you want to take into consideration as well.

Now that you know the rules, you can play around with them and see what works for you. Feel free to break them, too, you crazy rebel you. Just make sure that you’re doing it on purpose and not choosing crazy color combinations without any consideration of what effect they might have.

Want to find the perfect colors for your business? This article on choosing branding colors will teach you everything you need to know.

The post Color meanings and the art of using color psychology appeared first on 99designs Blog.

via https://99designs.co.uk/blog/

[susaanrogers]

Color meanings and the art of using color psychology

You see colors in everything around you, every moment of the day—but do you ever stop to think about the impact each of those colors is having on you? Whether it’s the calming effect of blue skies and fields of green, or the saliva-inducing red and yellow of your local fast food chain, each color is tapping into an emotion. There’s a whole science (and art) in the meanings of different colors. As an entrepreneur or designer, it’s essential to be aware of these color meanings to help you choose your colors wisely and tap into the magical power of color psychology.

A bright and colorful business card design by Daria V. for Mama J.

For a business—whether it’s yours or your client’s—there are all sorts of places where color comes into play. You might immediately think of branding elements like the logo, business cards and stationery. Color choices will also be meaningful across online communication and marketing materials: your website, social media, emails, presentations as well as offline tools like flyers and product packaging.

Millions of years of biological conditioning have created certain associations between colors and objects or emotions, while some associations may be more recent. Understanding these associations will give you a shortcut to your customer’s heart, provoking a specific emotion and maybe even a behavior. Feelings are much more powerful than rational thoughts based on facts and figures and applying color psychology will make your branding efforts and designs much more effective.

Choosing colors —

Choose your colors carefully. Design for a pencil set by ve_sta for Vibrant Colors.

Before getting into the meanings of different colors, there are a few things you want to have in mind first:

Your target audience—You always want to start with a clear idea of who you are talking to. Marketing to kids (and their parents) will require a different approach to marketing to high-end luxury consumers.

Your brand personality—Is your brand more masculine or feminine, playful or serious, modern or classic? You’ll need to have a good feel for your brand identity so that you can choose the best color fit. (Read this article for more on creating your own brand scheme.)

Your competition—This is a tricky one: sometimes you’ll want to play by the rules of your industry to make sure that people recognize what your company does and sometimes you’ll want to break those rules so that you stand out against the crowd with a new and innovative approach to the industry.

Your color choices can have a huge impact. Wine label design by it’s a DOG’s life.

A few things to watch out for, as well:

Cultural differences—Red represents good luck in China but in South Africa it’s the color of mourning. Americans associate green with money as that’s the color of dollar bills but that isn’t the case globally. You’ll need to be sensitive to these differences depending on where you are operating. Colors may also change in significance over time: red used to be seen as a strong, masculine color while blue was a feminine color suited for girls.

Shades and tones—A color may have a general meaning but lighter shades can vary dramatically compared to darker shades, while more natural, muted shades will differ from artificial neon colors. Make sure that you look at the specific associations of the different shades and tones. For example, if you’re using neon green, don’t assume that just because you’ve chosen a shade of green it’s going to be a good fit for an eco-friendly brand.

Color combinations—You’re probably going to be using more than one color and so you’ll need to give some thought to which colors work well together as well as which secondary colors can help you to add some highlights or accents. You can read more about the color wheel here.

For an example of a business that got it wrong, just take a look at the disaster that was Heinz purple ketchup.

Now let’s explore what all those colors mean…

All the colors of the rainbow —

Red is for energy, passion and danger

Red and yellow is a classic combination that screams ‘fast food’. Logo design by chocoboracer for Chicken Heads.

What it means

Red is associated with the heat of energy and passion, we “see red” when we’re angry and it’s also the color of blood, making it a powerful color in branding. Think of the bold red of a fireman’s truck or the ‘stop’ sign in traffic. Red is also said to stimulate appetite, which is why it’s popular in fast food chains—most famously in McDonald’s, which combines red with another primary color, yellow.

Netflix uses red to attract users to its platform, with red calls-to-action to join or sign in. Another famously red brand is Coca-Cola (and, as the story goes, it was Coke’s marketing campaign that branded Santa Claus red). It will be interesting to see what happens with Coca-Cola’s recent packaging redesign as they move away from that iconic red to match its new Diet Coke flavors with other colors.

How to use it

Red and black is a bold combination that’s masculine and powerful. Design by torvs.

If you have a loud brand and want to stand out, then red could be the color for you. Its high energy makes it a great choice for caffeine drinks, fast cars or sports. With its appetite-stimulating qualities, it’s a good match for restaurants who want to bring in hungry customers. It can also be used as an accent color to draw attention to something on your packaging, or to get visitors to ‘buy it now’ on your website.

Orange is for creativity, youth and enthusiasm

A juicy, bright orange label design by WolfBell.

What it means

As a secondary color, orange combines the warmth and heat of red with the playfulness and joy of yellow. It attracts attention without being as daring as red, and is used for warning signs like traffic cones and high-visibility clothing. It’s an energetic color that can bring to mind health and vitality, given its obvious link to oranges and vitamin C. It’s a youthful color as well, bringing an element of vibrancy and fun.

A good example of using orange to connect with a young audience in a fun way is Nickelodeon. To promote energy and activity, Gatorade uses an orange lightning bolt, while orange is also a popular color for tropical drinks like Fanta. There may be unusual historical reasons behind a brand’s choice of color: luxury brand Hermès chose orange because it was the only paperboard available during World War II! It’s a confident color but not usually associated with luxury.

How to use it

The orange brings an unexpected creative touch to the finance business in this logo by Cross the Lime.

Orange can be a great choice for a youthful and creative brand that wants to be a bit different to the mainstream. It’s a friendly color that also stimulates action so, like red, it can be used as an accent color to catch the eye and promote activity.

Yellow is for happiness, hope and spontaneity

Uplifting, yellow quinoa packaging design entry by Mila Katagarova.

What it means

Ah, yellow. The color of the sun, smiley faces and sunflowers. It’s a happy color, full of hope and positivity. It’s another color that grabs your attention and for that reason can also be used to signify caution, like red and orange.

The golden arches of McDonald’s (well, they’re yellow, really) are a globally recognized symbol that can be seen from far away and immediately gets associated with fast food. In the same way, Best Buy’s yellow tag indicates a reduced cost for its cost-conscious customers (say that quickly three times!).

How to use it

This shade of yellow works well for a happy, healthy brand like Why Bar in this packaging by Martis Lupus.

Yellow is a great choice if speed, fun and low cost are attributes that you want associated with your brand. Be careful with different shades, though: a bright yellow will grab people’s attention right away and it’s a useful way of highlighting or accenting a design, a pale or warm yellow can look natural and healthy, while a neon yellow can instead be very artificial.

Green is for nature, growth and harmony – but also wealth and stability

The green works well with the natural material in this organic bamboo packaging by tomdesign.org for Midori Way.

What it means

Green is universally associated with nature, linked as it is to grass, plants and trees. It also represents growth and renewal, being the color of spring and rebirth. Another association is “getting the green light” to go ahead, giving it an association with taking action. In the US, green (and especially dark green) is also associated with money and so represents prosperity and stability.

Green is also often seen as a fourth color on top of the primary red, yellow and blue (think Microsoft and Google), bringing a sense of visual balance and, as a result, a soothing and relaxing influence. Famous brands that use different shades of green include Starbucks, Spotify and Whole Foods Market.

How to use it

The two shades of green are a perfect fit for this eco-friendly brand logo by ultrastjarna.

The connection to nature makes green a natural choice (see what I did there?) for a brand that’s eco friendly, organic or sustainable. As with yellow, be wary of the fact that while muted or lighter shades of green can represent nature, neon versions will have the opposite effect and will feel more artificial and less harmonious. On a website, a green call to action can suggest ‘go’—although the battle rages on with red buttons, which can instead suggest urgency.

Blue is for calm, trust and intelligence

Business card design by KreativeMouse.

What it means

Blue is the most popular color in the world, both when it comes to personal preferences (for both genders) and usage in business logos. It’s a serene and calming color that represents intelligence and responsibility. It’s the go-to color for trusted, corporate institutions, often in combination with a mature grey:

IT companies e.g. Intel, Microsoft, IBM, HP, Dell

Finance institutions e.g. American Express, Visa, Goldman Sachs, Paypal

Big corporations e.g. Procter & Gamble, General Electric, General Motors, Boeing and Lowe’s

Blue is also the natural choice for professional network LinkedIn.

Interestingly, blue is the color of choice for many other social networks too. Facebook is blue – apparently because founder Mark Zuckerberg is red-green color blind and blue is the most vivid color that he can see. The association with trust and dependability does work well in the context of a social network, with all the concerns around data privacy and so on, and you’ll find that Twitter is also blue, as are Instagram, Russia’s VKontakte and even social media site Mashable.

How to use it

Another area where trust is paramount: blue works well in this BabySafe packaging by daenerysALEINA.

If you want to be immediately associated with professionalism and trust, then blue is the color for you. Since it’s universally liked, it’s also a great choice if you want to appeal to both men and women. Its association with calm and tranquility means that blue is also a good fit if your business is in things like relaxation, therapy or meditation.

Purple is for luxury, mystery and spirituality

Magical, purple book cover design entry by Meella.

What it means

Purple is an interesting beast: it’s both warm and cool and combines the passion and energy of red with the calm and serenity of blue. Because of its associations with royalty, purple is inherently prestigious and luxurious. Purple dye was historically expensive, which meant that only wealthy rulers could afford it. The ruling classes and kings and queens of old would wear purple and Queen Elizabeth I even forbade anyone outside of the royal family from wearing it. Purple is also associated with religion and spirituality, since the ancient rulers were thought of as descendants of the gods and the color holds a special meaning in religions including Catholicism, Judaism and Buddhism. On top of all that purple is on trend, Ultra Violet being Pantone’s choice for color of the year 2018.

Funnily enough, brands are not always as strategic in choosing colors as they should be. Yahoo, as the story goes, ended up purple because that was the cheapest paint color available to renovate the offices back in the early days. You can see a more typical use of purple in the Asprey brand, a British luxury company with a heritage that goes back to the 1700s and a Royal Warrant for every British monarch since Queen Victoria.

How to use it

Purple is a good fit for a mystical fairytale book publisher (not to mention the name of the publisher!) in this Purple Pixie logo by yase for Purple Pixie.

Use purple when you want to evoke those luxurious, royal connections—combine it with gold for that extra ‘wow’. Or use it when you want to add a dash of mysticism and spirituality to your brand. Add some green for a really striking contrast or with pink to emphasize the feminine.

The neutrals —

Black is for power, elegance and sophistication

A striking, all-black wine label design by Dan Newman.

What it means

Although black can have negative connotations—it’s the color of death, fear and grief—it’s more generally associated with power and elegance when it comes to branding and marketing. It’s bold, powerful and a little mysterious and it can be intimidating and unapproachable as well. At the same time, it’s an inherently neutral color and is often used for typography and other functional elements.

Luxury brands like Chanel and Dior keep things stylish with an iconic black-and-white logo. Brands like these want to be a little intimidating and unapproachable as that makes them more exclusive and aspirational. The James Bond 007 logo is black. Newspaper logos also tend to be in black, given the historic black-and-white printing presses. Of course, most brands will have a black-and-white version of their logo as printing in black and white tends to be cheaper than color printing.

How to use it

Simple black logo design by Project 4.

If you want to convey a sense of luxury, you can’t go wrong with a simple black-and-white color scheme. Combined with a gold, silver or why not a royal purple, you’ll give your brand an air of exclusivity and prestige. On the other hand, black can also be used with bright colors for contrast and when combined with other powerful colors like red or orange it can be quite impactful, even aggressive.

White is for purity, innocence and minimalism

This minimalist design emphasizes the purity of the spirit while letting the brand’s big red ‘C’ stand out in a simple label design by Wooden Horse for Cabby’s Rum.

What it means

If you know your science, then you’ll know that white light actually contains all the colors of the rainbow—but to the naked eye at least, white is the opposite: it’s the absence of any color. White represents purity and innocence and creates a minimalist aesthetic. It can be very simple, clean and modern. It’s also the most neutral color of all and can be quite non-descript as a base for other, more exciting, colors.

Apple’s advertising and packaging give a powerful illustration of how white can be used for a modern and minimalist aesthetic that puts the beautiful product design center stage. Marc Jacobs prints a simple black logo onto white luxury retail boxes and shopping bags. Health and beauty brands that want to convey an air of purity and natural ingredients will also tend to use white in their packaging. It’s an obvious fit for wedding brands as well, given the traditional association with virginity and white wedding gowns.

How to use it

This white packaging design by Imee008 keeps things very clean and simple.

White space can be as important in a design as all the other creative elements. White tends to be the color used for website backgrounds as it ensures that your text is easy to read. It’s also often used as a secondary accent in a color scheme. Together with pastels, it can bring to mind spring and femininity; combined with simple black it becomes classic and minimalistic. When it comes to white, it’s a lot about the colors you put it with.

Gray is for professionalism, formality and conventionality

A modern and formal – but in this case a little unconventional – grey and black web design by Mila Jones Cann

What it means

Gray is a more mature, responsible color, associated with the gray hair of old age. Its positive connotations include formality and dependability, while the negative side can mean being overly conservative, conventional and lacking in emotion. It’s safe and quite subdued, serious and reserved.

Gray is rarely the star of the show. Nintendo briefly favored a gray logo from 2008 to 2016 but has since gone back to its earlier red. Jewelry brand Swarovski does have a gray logo, although if you look at the website the version used there is black. You’re more likely to see the color gray as a secondary color, playing a supporting role to some other, stronger, character.

How to use it

This rare use of grey as the main color works well for a sleek packaging design by syakuro.

Use gray if you have a serious brand and you want to communicate the authority and stability of a corporate institution. Combine it with blue for the ultimate in conservatism and dependability. It’s actually also a very popular color in web design. You may want to consider using gray as an alternative to white for a softer website background—or as an alternative to black text for a less harsh contrast and an easier read.

The best of the rest —

Brown is for wholesomeness, warmth and honesty

The brown color choice adds to a traditional-looking stamp effect in this Welsh bakery logo design by ultrastjarna.

What it means

Brown is a natural color, associated with the earth and as a result giving a sense of stability and support. Given its link to the earth, brown brings to mind farming and agriculture and other outdoorsy activities. It’s warm and friendly, practical and dependable, and can also represent the old fashioned and well established.

Brown is not used that often in logos. When it is, it tends to represent utility. Although blue is the typical corporate color, UPS has used brown to represent dependability (along with a later addition of yellow to bring an element of warmth and friendliness). Up until recently (well, 2010), they even used the color in their tagline: “What can brown do for you?”

How to use it

A bold splash of pink gives this chocolate brand a more contemporary feel in a design by Zoe Schtorm for Chocodiem.

Brown is a warm, neutral color that you can use as a background that conveys warmth and wholesomeness. Use it for an earthy brand and in a natural pairing with green to really capture that organic feel. You can also use brown to give the impression of a well-established heritage and a sense of tradition. Brown works well for chocolate brands, for obvious reasons.

Pink is for femininity, playfulness and romance

Pink tells you that this product is for women in this packaging design by FreshApple for My Fit Day.

What it means

In modern times, it’s impossible to see pink and not think of little girls, cotton candy and brightly colored bubble gum. Pink represents femininity and romance, sensitivity and tenderness. It’s inherently sweet, cute and charming.

Together with brown, pink is among the least common colors in logos. Typical uses of bright pink include Barbie and Cosmopolitan, with their obvious target markets, and Baskin Robbins and Dunkin’ Donuts who are tapping into the ‘sweet’ side of the color. Wedding companies and other feminine brands often favor a lighter pink. Less typical uses include Lyft and TMobile—both challenger brands, who aim to stand out from their competitors and bring an element of playfulness and approachability.

How to use it

Pink snack packaging design entry by Martis Lupus.

Using pink is a quick shortcut to communicating “this is for women” and if you know it’ll appeal to your female target market, then it’s a great choice. For some audiences, though, it can be off-putting and you may want to be more creative in communicating femininity without resorting to clichés. You can also use it in unexpected ways to stand out versus your dull and dreary competitors or add a surprising element to an otherwise sophisticated design.

Multicolor is for fun, diversity and optimism

A bright and multicolored web design by Denise M.

What it means

We’ve looked at the meanings of individual colors. So what happens when you bring them all together? What feelings are evoked with multicolored designs? Well, while monochromatic branding can bring focus and style, colorful branding can show that a brand is playful, informal and creative.

As you can imagine, kids’ brands often use multicolored designs—think Toys”R”Us or Crayola—but grown-up brands can get creative too! Google uses multiple colors in its logo to represent the playfulness of the brand. An interesting case is ebay, which had a similarly colorful logo up until 2017 when it simplified its logo to one color in its marketing (although the colored logo is still used on the website). Likewise, Apple evolved its logo from the multicolored striped apple to a sleeker silver one.

How to use it

A multi-colored logo communicates “this is for kids!” in this dentist’s logo by Carmen Vermillion for Juanita Kids Dentistry.

Why choose one when you can choose them all?! Using many colors in your branding and designs can be a great way to stand out, show your playfulness and appeal to children or a more creative audience. Think about whether you want to use complementary colors to provide a real ‘pop’ (colors that are opposites on the color wheel, for example, purple and orange), analogous colors for greater harmony (colors that sit next to each other, for example, red, orange and yellow) or triadic colors for a more dynamic effect (colors that are evenly spaced around the color wheel). You can read more about these different color combinations in this article on color theory.

Metallics are for wealth, prosperity and success

This combination of silver and purple on black communicates the exclusivity of this party rental business—it’s definitely not for kids!—in a business card design by ultrastjarna for Specialty Party Rentals.

What it means

Gold and silver are both precious metals, associated with riches and expensive jewelry. Often combined with black, adding a touch of glimmering metal can immediately give a brand that element of glamor. Gold is also the color of a winner, associated as it is with the medal for first place, and can represent success. It’s a warm color related to yellow and as a result shares the attributes of feeling bright and cheerful. Silver is cooler and a little less luxurious, coming in at second place but still representing grace and elegance. Third-place bronze captures the qualities of brown and so it’s more earthy, natural and mature.

Rolex uses a gold crown in its logo, while Lamborghini and Porsche use elements of gold as well. The Louis Vuitton monogram could be said to be gold and brown (although the gold shade is actually called ‘dirt!’). Clearly, gold is the color of luxury! On the other hand, silver is used a lot in car logos—VW, Toyota, Hyundai, Nissan, Audi, Mercedes—where it denotes quality and workmanship.

How to use it

Hot gold foil on a black background gives this wine label design and packaging by Esteban T an exclusive feel for Petit Verdot.

Metallic effects can be hard to recreate online—they’re more materials really, or textures, than they are colors. Gold is essentially a shiny yellow, silver is shiny gray and bronze shiny brown. You can still suggest metallic tones on a website or in a logo using shading and highlighting but the full impact will be seen on printed materials where you can use a foil to get that metallic sheen. For a look that instantly says ‘luxury’, you can’t go wrong with black and gold.

Heading out into the world of color —

Different color options open up a whole world of possibilities. Packaging design by Catus for vivo bem.

So there you go, an epic journey through colors, emotions and brand identities.

Of course, it’s not an exact science. People may have personal preferences that override any deeper biological tendencies, cultures vary in their interpretations and there may be other things you want to take into consideration as well.

Now that you know the rules, you can play around with them and see what works for you. Feel free to break them, too, you crazy rebel you. Just make sure that you’re doing it on purpose and not choosing crazy color combinations without any consideration of what effect they might have.

Want to find the perfect colors for your business? This article on choosing branding colors will teach you everything you need to know.

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