#why else do you think i recovered from a bad episode so fast?

[katyspersonal]

I still find it so silly how Laurence and Rom go down wearing the absolutely peak fashion outfits, just, peak performance of beauty, meanwhile Micolash is just '... :/ guess I'll steal the design of the uniform in my university that everyone else moved on from' fdshfhds

[bonnieisaway]

Good morning ladies and gentlemen (it's 6:30 pm) guess who's here to overnalayze episode 1 of season 4 of scissor seven that's right ME

Okay okay I think this might actually be my new favorite episode in the series and I love it so much and I was thinking about it last night and talking about it to my friend this morning and I have THINGS!! TO SAY!!! about it

First off: this isn't as important but did anyone else realize that Blackbird was wrong about Seven's ambushes?

Like when Seven initially jumps for Blackbird he grabs Seven's sword and says this but

he's instantly taken off guard five fucking seconds later? And like yeah, this was something Seven could do cause of the Thousand Demon Daggers, but by all means the fact Seven kept DIRECT eye contact with him and took him off guard to make him drop Thirteen makes it seem Seven does think and act faster than Blackbird does. In fact Blackbird fights Seven the exact same way he did Thirteen, he drags both of them out of the clearing and into the forest - though he throttled Seven around A LOT harder - but Seven didn't lose track of Blackbird the way Thirteen did.

Side by side look at how much longer it took Thirteen to get out of his grip and recover - I know Blackbird is arguably more in his element when he's fighting Thirteen but just their reaction times alone, Seven's able to keep up with Blackbird running around him and Thirteen is struggling to keep sight of him. Their main difference is Seven's got much better reaction time and is able to keep up, but he's horrible at actually avoiding getting hit most times. He's so much more aggressive in this fight but also takes twice the beating, Thirteen spends the first half of this fight getting her sides clipped by Blackbird's whip and Seven literally almost gets his whole shoulder ripped out. Seven seems to know what to do a lot quicker and thinks fast compared to Thirteen. Especially since Seven had the opportunity to and realized he could use the light against Blackbird.

And as he does, I mean initially Blackbird can't even react quick enough, given the distance between them it's surprising Seven got this far,

And he changes direction faster than Blackbird can even react to his initial movement!

Blackbird genuinely loses sight of Seven here! And it's not like he couldn't seen Seven, he was perfectly visible and neither of them were facing the sunlight here, but Seven is just faster than Blackbird can react here

And Seven had time to wait here! Of course Blackbird doesn't realize what Seven is doing and turns around, but if Seven had been going to hit Blackbird from behind he would've! Seven spends a solid second or so longer here before Blackbird actually turns around, and Seven is able to move fast enough to blind Blackbird!

SECONDLY and I've actually seen nobody talk about this but Blackbird has his own art style. Not just like, for his flashbacks. Blackbird has his own fucking art style for when he's in control of the fight. And it makes me so mentally ill

I think I've mentioned before early on Scissor Seven is a little inconsistent art style wise, but definitely by the end of season 3 you can really tell they've gotten comfortable with and have settled on a style they like and work well with. And it's absolutely beautiful, which is why I was really confused when this scene was in the trailer:

because this is so clearly not their normal art style. To be specific- the line art is really intentionally sketchy and messy, you can evne tell they used a different brush than they normally do for coloring and line art, and the coloring and shading really has a 'colored sketch' look about it. And it's not bad, I love it! But it's so obviously different from the normal style and in the trailers I was wondering if the style was going to change again, but this is the only time it happens. And I realized why: this is an art style specifically for when Blackbird is in control. Let's go through this fight from this frame:

the moment Thirteen is dropped. So I'm going to go through this by the most important moves or actions they take:

So obviously Blackbird has a real solid grip on Seven here, but also noticeably I feel like Seven doesn't try to do anything with his sword as he's dragged,

But notice despite how far or close they are, every frame is noticeably clear and really just true to the art style this show takes:

but also this sketchy texture and style is a consistent motif in Blackbrid, even if the rest of the style is still how it normally looks,

Now look at the coloring on Blackbird-

and THEN we switch to this sketchy style, which is NOTICEABLY the same as Blackbird's flashbacks but just colored with clearer line art.

This background is still clear but notice even their smear frames are drawn like this, and if you've seen some of my other post this isn't how they normally draw smears, let alone switching brushes and adjusting the entire color palette for it, and this is where the worst part of the fight for Seven starts! This is where he gets hurt!

Which , these genuinely look like the deepest cuts Seven has gotten in a while- and now watch these frames:

NOTICEABLE. FUCKING. DIFFERENCE. The second, the second Seven realizes that he has an opprotunity here and that he can use the light against Blackbird, the art style turns back to normal!

I mean as this fight ends and Blackbird DIES we don't see this again outside of his flashback! The usual sketchy parts of his body change to another texture!

And I just, it makes me so happy that not only have they found an art style they like, and are comfortable with, but are so good with it to a point that they can play with the art style now for story telling elements! And I mean even as Blackbird screams and tries to kill Seven the art style stays, because even if Blackbird can't feel it and we don't know yet, he has definitively lost this battle and this will drain the rest of his energy and kill him before it will kill Seven!

This bird flying away- and Blackbird's last flashback- is the last we see of this art style.

and I just. RAAAAAAH I love this episode. I feel like I could go on more and I might later - I still really wanna know if there's a reason why they put so much emphasis into Seven switching hands when he's using the sword, given he's ambidextrous and it's never been focused on before, I think it might be because he's not using his scissors even though they're near but I'm not really sure. I can't tell if using his scissors over his sword would be more draining given his last attempt at them in season 3 knocked him out cold. GOD this show makes me so fuckin mentally ill

[elialys]

I’ve finished season 2 of The Newsreader two hours and a half ago, and I’ve yet to be able to talk about my feels with ANYONE, so I’m doing what I do in most cases when I have too many feels about something—opening a new word document to write things down.

This season genuinely surprised me so many times. I had no actual expectations, but I had thoughts on what might happen from the season promo and the episodes' synopses. Most of the time, turned out I was absolutely wrong, and I’ve never been happier to be wrong.

This is not very coherent, more ‘string of thoughts’ than anything else, and I’m skipping soooo many things but here are my main thoughts/emotions on each episode:

Episode 3 Greed and Fear

I knew it would be about Helen’s past being dug out and was so worried. Didn’t expect to be laughing so much?? Like, only a couple of scenes but god those were genuinely funny. Gerry’s wife telling Helen’s about her torn vagina from giving birth? Lindsay’s song about Charlie being hit hard in the economic crash? Absolute gold.

The "hey let’s get married to give that columnist something else to write about” idea from Dale and Helen’s reaction to it went about as well as I expected it to go.

I have to say, I did not expect the Helen & Charlie’s interactions to get that real that fast but I…kinda liked it? I still think Charlie’s a shit head but I loved that they made him feel like an actual human? Genuinely fond of that scene of him and Helen in his office waiting for midnight, with her on his couch telling him about her past, it just felt genuine.

Don’t get me started on Helen and Dale on HER couch at the end of the episode though. Just, I want to live there, in that scene. With them cuddling on that couch, and nothing bad ever ever happening to their couple, ever.

Episode 4 The Hungry Truth

This episode was a punch in the gut. The way the approached the Bicentennial event and the Aboriginal side of the story was so poignant and heartbreaking. That shot of them watching the cheery News at Six promo at the end instead of the planned interview with Lynus was captivating in a ‘I feel sick in the stomach’ kind of way.

Helen’s convictions and hard work being cast aside and spat on again at the last second was infuriating, she tries SO HARD to stand up for those who don’t have a voice and she hits walls every step of the way.

Dale’s real proposal? I'm still recovering. When I read the initial synopsis, I worried he was going to do something *big*, but he didn’t. It was intimate and romantic and sincere, and holy hell couldn’t have happened at a worse time ??? I know there was no way for him to really ‘hide’ his preparations from Helen at that point but ugh.

That end scene had me in tears tbh, both Sam and Anna just killed me. Because you can tell Helen loves Dale and he loves her yet she turns him down and everything hurts?

Episode 5 A Model Daughter

Let me just say I’ve loved Kay’s character. I love the extra depth it brought to the Walters family, and I love how she allowed for the very real issue of heroin addiction to be explored this season. And obviously, I love how her story intertwined with Helen’s and the way it made this episode unfold, like, DAAAAMN.

But first of all, Helen and Dale. Oh the pain. Oh the sweet sweet pain. I binged so I barely had time to process any of my feelings, but I felt all the feelings. It was dramatic without being overdramatic. Again, all of it felt so human. I wish we’d seen more actual conversation between Helen and Dale with Helen explaining exactly why she doesn’t want marriage and why she broke it off completely, but there’s enough there to get it and just hurt with them.

That scene of them in the make up room, after Dale realizes there’s been some ‘flirting’ going on between her and Charlie? SO many things are said without them needing to actually say them, it just hangs in the air and OH THE DELICIOUS PAIN.

That award party was so good, they were all so drunk and I was so worried about Dale. And then the whole Gerry, Tim, Dale thing was wholesome for about two and half seconds. I wasn’t sure when the ‘gay club’ scene would happen or how Dale would end up there, I didn’t expect things to happen that way, it was like watching a car crash in slow motion. I feel sad for people who ship Dale and Tim because I’m sure this is not how they hoped Tim’s character would come back—and that the random dude Dale wakes up next to is not who they were hoping for. Dale’s whole spiraling out this episode was just painful in a painfully perfect way.

Everything about Kay’s interview, every character involved…ugh so damn good. The interview itself made me cry, but that’s probably because of my own issues haha. Kay going to Helen and begging her to take her part off the story, not knowing Lindsay decided to make the story ALL about her and her parents against Helen’s assurances that they wouldn't do that.

Helen’s demeanor sitting at that desk, finally deciding that enough is enough. HELEN STANDING UP, GETTING THE TAPES AND DESTROYING THE TAPES WHILE WALKING OUT.

Actual Queen. Might be my favorite sequence in the entire season, but don’t take my word for it yet. Of course she goes to Charlie and jumps on him right after that but everyone’s human hahahaaaaa.

Episode 6 Fireworks

I don’t even know what to say, I’m still trying to process this. They gave us time with everyone, and I loved every second of it, but I still begged for more time with Helen and Dale, individually and together. Now I get what Sam meant by ‘Dead Dale’. Oh yes he’s the Big Guy now with the Big House, King of News and all that but he’s clearly dead inside too, so that’s nice I guess.

The way they resolved the issue of “Helen and Charlie” being a thing in under 3 minutes combined was beautiful to be honest. I was losing it watching that short, extremely distressing montage of Charlie and Helen like, might have clawed at my face a bit. But the way she threw him out of her life the second he dared say some shit about Dale? Beautiful.

Lindsay needs to die in a fire though. I’m so glad Dennis punched him in the face but someone needs to push him in front of a bus. That scene between him and Helen in his office was just VILE. What a pathetic excuse for a human being, all these things he did to her and SAID to her, I am not okay. And him sabotaging her at her new job like, DIE ALREADY OMG.

Was it really Gerry who told the columnist about Tim though??? Because that scene between Gerry and Dale, all unspoken? GOD. This damn show.

Gotta end with Helen and Dale. I am so upset. I think/hope they will find their way back together WHEN we get a 3rd season, and I believe them learning to live apart is needed and necessary, BUT GOD I AM GENUINELY HURTING. Helen’s desperate proposal was so upsetting. The fact that Dale was too dead inside to tell her more than “no” and “just do your job” like.

I don’t even blame him because he’s a hot mess trapped in his own catatonia but THE PAIN. That airport scene, someone put me out of my misery please, how dare they use THAT song (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, anyone??). Also, I realize I’m extremely biased given how much I love Anna Torv but??? She doesn’t say a single word in that scene as she watches Dale on the tv yet you know exactly what she’s thinking and feeling and everything hurts.

Noelene and Rob? So sorry I didn’t mention you at all in this post yet, you were so lovely and precious and so necessary for my emotional sanity, absolutely love how they “mirrored” and contrasted Helen and Dale, even if it adds to my pain as a Helen/Dale shipper who just watched three failed proposals in the span of 8 hours.

This show better be renewed. I need them to fix this mess. Wonderfully crafted mess but still a mess.

[thornfield13713]

So, you posted some Obimaul last week, and you're (one of!) my favourite authors, can you do the thing for them? 57 & 69? Please, my crops are dying

With pleasure! This isn’t a ship I’ve talked about much, but I’ve always enjoyed enemies-to-lovers, obsession and general fucked-up-ness, and Obimaul offers all three and the dramatics of Maul dying in Obi-Wan’s arms and at Obi-Wan’s hands.

You’ve given me a challenge to work with, though! I mean, their first meeting in canon wasn’t one they’d forget in a hurry…unless they forgot everything else as well.

…yeah, I could just introduce an earlier meeting, plenty of great fics already have…but I’d hate to copy anyone’s homework and amnesia and identity porn are very much my thing, so I’m just going to springboard off the Rako Hardeen arc and say Obi-Wan takes a bad knock at some point, maybe during the escape from the Box or shortly beforehand, and wakes up with an inconvenient case of global amnesia. Fortunately, memory or no memory, he's still pretty quick on his feet and manages to conceal his loss of memory from the other bounty hunters and from Dooku, while coming up with a rough idea of who the evidence around him suggests he is: Rako Hardeen, the Marksman of Concord Dawn, one of the galaxy's finest bounty hunters...and a bit nearer the top of the list of those now that all but five of them have been wiped out in the Box.

The mission on Naboo goes down a bit differently, without Obi-Wan's help. I mean, I don't think they actually manage to whack Palpatine, because as entertaining as seeing him get dragged around by the ankles by Cad Bane was, the man is still the Sith Master and Revenge of the Sith demonstrates just how deadly he is when backed into a corner. Might've been an option if 'Hardeen' was actually sniping to kill, but...this whole plot was set up by Palpatine, including the non-lethal bullets for the sniper, so no dice there. So, the Jedi manage to rescue the Chancellor, and Eval is arrested, but Cad Bane and 'Rako Hardeen' get away clean and part ways on friendly terms - well, as friendly as Bane ever gets with anyone, anyway - after having a drink together and bemoaning their last employer's unreliability.

Meanwhile, the Jedi question Eval to find out what the fuck happened to their man on the inside, hear about the head injury, and figure out the rest from there. The priority now is to recover Obi-Wan alive and as close to unharmed as they can manage, and restore his memories using the Force. This is made rather more complicated by the fact that 'Hardeen' knows the Jedi are after him for murdering Obi-Wan Kenobi and is pretty motivated to not let them catch up to him.

Around the same time - the four-parter in which Maul returns is directly after the Hardeen arc - Savage Opress is looking for his long-lost brother. The events of 'Brothers' take place more or less unchanged, but the follow-up episode 'Revenge' takes a blow when Savage is forced to reveal to Maul that...yeah, Kenobi is dead. It was pretty well-publicised, and even Savage, who isn't much for keeping up with the news, got to hear about it. Maul is furious, and devastated - the thought of revenge was all that kept him going on Lotho Minor, and without it he feels...lost. Adrift. So, next-best thing, revenge on the person who killed his hated foe for no better reason than money, robbing Maul of his long-awaited revenge.

It's easier for Maul and Savage to track 'Hardeen' down than it is for the Jedi, mostly because 'Hardeen' does still need to get hired for jobs if he wants to eat. So, they find him at some desolate little cantina on a distant world, and Maul, predictably, goes right for the kill and then stops short because he needs his victim to understand why his psychological stability requires their death. 'Hardeen' thinks fast, and makes a counter-offer: he works off the debt he owes Maul for his vengeance. Maul wants to get set up as a crime lord, right? He wants minions, and power, and respect. And also vengeance, but...look, a lot of people seem to have had strong feelings about Obi-Wan Kenobi. Most of them just don't have a lightsaber to 'Hardeen's' throat. But if this angry zabrak guy and his slightly-less-specifically-pissed-off-at-'Hardeen'-but-still-quite-angry-generally brother want to give him interesting work and protection from the Jedi while thinking he's making up for having killed their...enemy...crush...obsession...something...well, whatever's going on there, he's going to take the win. Of course, he was reckoning without quite so many run-ins with the damned Jedi as a result of all that, but- somehow, they keep getting out unscathed, mainly because Skywalker seems to have lost his nerve about trying to kill 'Hardeen'.

Maul, on the other side, is starting to take first an interest in, then a liking to 'Hardeen'. Sure, he killed Kenobi, thus robbing Maul of his vengeance, but he's reliable, smart and competent, and has built up underworld connections that Maul lacks even just since the job that cost him most of his memory. He's also, Maul discovers during a shared job, Force-sensitive, and willing enough to be taught how to use it even if he doesn't seem overwhelmingly interested in the philosophy of the Dark Side. The 'flirting under fire' aspect is, I suspect, just sort of a constant background radiation, as these two just can't help sniping back and forth at one another, even in the heat of battle.

At some point in all of this, though, things take a turn, and Maul and 'Hardeen' end up...not in bed together, as we now have confirmation that Obi-Wan is ace (thank you, Padawan novel for that and the bi Kenobi confirmation) and Maul has his whole...bisection...situation...but their relationship takes a term for what Maul would bristle and snarl if he heard termed 'the romantic'. It's...rough. For both of them, this is their first serious relationship, and Maul is...Maul. But, against all odds, things start going better.

And then, of course, the Jedi catch up with them, and it's mid-fight when the Kenobi reveal gets dropped and the real fireworks get started.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball GT 21

✨GT Stands for Galvanized Tykes✨

Stop me if you’ve heard this one, but Goku is fighting Machine Mutants by himself while Pan is trying to stage a rescue mission.   Yeah, that’s been the plot synopsis for Episodes 17, 18, 19, and 20, but thankfully, Episode 21 lets us off the merry-go-round.  Not a moment too soon, as the Rildo/Goku fight is running on fumes.  Rildo assumed his final form last time, and he seemed to be able to have his way with Goku, thanks to his ability to control all metal on the planet.  It seemed like all Goku could do was to run and dodge, but that doesn’t seem to matter here, in Episode 21.  Instead, Goku just leads Rildo on a merry chase, basically toying with him.  For example, they end up in an abandoned movie theater and the projector starts up while they fight, and Goku laughs at how Rildo looks like a movie monster.  Then they fight their way into the lobby, where Goku helps himself to some beverage from the soda fountain.

Rildo tries to zap Goku with his beam that turns people into metal, because that’s another thing he can do, but Goku blocks it with the soda dispensers.  Look at how happy he is.  Well, that makes one of us.

Then they take the fight into the sky, which doesn’t seem to favor Rildo at all, so I don’t understand why he would follow Goku someplace where metal isn’t. Actually, now that I think of it, why didn’t Rildo use his powers to make the soda machine wrap around Goku like a python or something?  Maybe Goku could break out, but I bet Rildo’s fast enough to get in a free shot while he’s stuck.

This is the problem I have with Rildo.  I’m pretty sure his powers are broken as fuck, and he could have been the most powerful character in all of Dragon Ball if anyone had bothered to think about what he could do.  As it is, I suspect his powers are broken because no one was really thinking very hard about this fight, so instead of making him a match for Goku they just kept tacking on new abilities without properly considering the powers he already had. 

Remember, Goku said Rildo’s ki was “even greater than Buu’s”.  So Rildo might not even need special powers at all.  He could just overwhelm Goku with sheer might, the way Majin Buu did.  And maybe Goku’s gotten a lot stronger since he fought Majin Buu, but since he never bothers to transform beyond Super Saiyan 1, I doubt that it matters.  Goku’s been sandbagging the whole time, and I have to assume Rildo is too?  Or maybe Rildo just sucks at fighting?  I mean, he’s clearly strong enough to be dangerous, but if he’s really in Majin Buu’s league then he ought to be pressuring Goku a lot more than he is, especially three episodes into this fight.

So how does this fight end?  Well, Pan flies over to tell Goku that she recovered the Dragon Balls, and Rildo goes after her to distract Goku.  That leaves Goku wide open for more metal to grab him and then he ends up getting turned into a slab, just like Trunks was.  Pan is slab-ified hencewith. 

✨"Good” “Ideas”, Poorly Executed✨

So yeah, this is why General Rildo is such a forgettable villain, right here.  I’d say GT has become more more obscure than it used to be in the 2000′s, because back then it had the prestige of being the sequel series to Dragon Ball Z, but now we have Dragon Ball Super, which is still doing movies and comics and such.  But I think GT has always enjoyed a lot of fan appreciation for its major bad guys, if nothing else.  Baby, Super 17, and Omega Shenron are often used as bonus super-bosses in video games and such.  Even if you don’t like GT, it’s hard to deny that it’s villains are pretty strong, if only because they managed to give Goku a hard time at Super Saiyan 4. 

And Rildo ought to be in that same category, because, again, Goku said he was stronger than Majin Buu, and he’s got a pretty wild power-set when you think about it.  This isn’t me spouting some nutty fan theory.   Goku fought both guys, and he thinks Rildo is stronger than Majin Buu.  And Rildo pretty much showed off his abilities at every turn, so we know exactly what he can do, even if the application of those abilities didn’t get very much done. 

But Rildo doesn’t get the love that Baby, Super 17 and Omega Shenron get.  Why?  Because even though they hyped this guy up like an insane challenge, he ends up having to play dirty to win.  It makes Rildo look like a total chump, which only makes that “greater than Buu” talk feel incredibly hollow.  If he was so dangerous, why didn’t Goku take him more seriously? 

Also, Goku’s refusal to take Rildo seriously makes Goku look like an idiot too.  Fans these days love to talk about how stupid Goku is in Dragon Ball Super, but let’s not forget what a dipshit he is in GT.  If he had just used Super Saiyan 2 to finish Rildo off, he never would have gotten distracted by Pan.  But he was more interesting playing with Rildo than defeating him or saving Trunks.  And why would Goku bother playing with a guy like this?  If he’s that far ahead of Rildo, then he ought to be disappointed and bored, like he was when Frieza couldn’t keep up with him on Namek. 

Anyway, Rildo hurriedly sends Goku and Pan through the teleporter to Dr. Mu’s planet.  It’s like he just wants to get this over with, just in case Goku busts out for a fourth round. Giru operates the teleporter, because I guess he can just do any job he likes, now that he’s received M2′s Medal of Honor.

At Mu’s lab, Dr. Mu is pretty happy to have all three Saiyans ready for his study.  It’s never made clear just what he’s going to do with them.  He just keeps talking about “analyzing their data”, which I thought they already did in Episode 17, but whatever.  For some reason, Giru teleports himself to the lab as well, and Mu seems to have no problem with that whatsoever.

Then Giru shuts off all of Mu’s scientific equipment, and fires missiles at Mu’s console.  He has some doo-hickey that can change the metal slabs back into Goku and the others, and he starts using it to revive Goku.  Mu is outraged, calling him a traitor, but Giru says that he was never on Mu’s side, so this isn’t treason at all.  It’s like that one guy said in Indiana Jones 4.  Giru isn’t a triple-agent, he just lied about being a double-agent.

It takes a minute for Pan to get up to speed on this, since she was pretty sore at Giru before, but while she’s figuring that out, Mu grabs the Trunks slab and uses him as a hostage.  If he breaks the slab, you see, then Giru’s device won’t be able to fix him. Mu and his robots play keep-away with Pan for a bit, while one of the robots tries to summon General Rildo from M2.   So Giru intercepts that robot before he can get to the teleporter and Goku... doesn’t do anything?

Seriously, this whole part of the episode is ridiculous.   Pan’s been fighting dozens of these rank-and-file robots for the last few episodes, but she chases after them on foot like she forgot she had super speed and flight power and robot-destroying hand lasers.  And Goku could end this standoff in two seconds. Hell, I could imagine him securing the Trunks slab and then telling Giru to let Rildo teleport in if he’s got the guts.  Instead he just stands around like an asshole.  GT logic at its finest.

Then the slab falls and breaks, and Pan is heartbroken... until the real Trunks shows up and reveals he was okay the whole time!  What?

According to Trunks, he and Giru concocted this secret plan since before they landed on Planet M2.  He explains it in greater detail in the next episode, but the short version is that Giru only pretended to betray the GT crew so they could get sent here, to Dr. Mu’s planet.  Somewhere during Episode 20, when Trunks was turned into a metal slab, Giru freed Trunks, and then produced an imitation slab, and sent that to Mu’s lab instead.  Somehow, the real Trunks managed to arrive in the lab later, without being noticed...?  I mean, he’s here, and Dr. Mu had no idea, so how did that happen?

Goku says he suspected something was up when Trunks got turned into a slab, but he wasn’t sure.  Pan, on the other hand, had no idea.   But the question is: Why did Trunks and Giru bother with this scheme in the first place?  Sure, Dr. Mu is a bad guy trying to gather the Dragon Balls for himself, but why confront him on his home ground?  The answer, Trunks explains, is a dangerous secret of Dr. Mu’s.  A secret hidden behind a secret door.

In a secret tank, in a secret planetarium.

Holy shit, it’s Cell!   No, wait.  It’s just Baby.  Well, that sucks.

✨Is this episode worse than “The Roaming Lake”?✨

This episode sucks a lot worse than “The Roaming Lake”.  The Rildo fight ends as anticlimactically as possible.  It’s so weak that I almost wondered if someone at Toei had a longer battle planned out and they had to cut it short for schedule or budget reasons.  The final showdown with Dr. Mu is pathetic, since Mu himself seems to be utterly helpless.   

The only real meat in this episode was Trunks revealing he’s been playing Dr. Mu all along, but he really doesn’t explain any of his plan in this episode, so it just feels like a cheap excuse to add a plot twist to a ho-hum episode.   Like, if Giru had just had a change of heart and freed the GT gang, there would have been no tension to any of this.  They would have just cornered Dr. Mu and that would have been it.  Rildo was the only real card Mu had to play, and we’ve already see how ineffective Rildo is.

Dr. Mu’s “data analysis” procedure reminds me a lot of the dream-logic writing that made “The Roaming Lake” such an anti-classic.  In that episode, people just build dams for no reason, and rivers can be destroyed by sandstorms.  Dr. Mu’s scheme was to capture Goku and the others and study their powers, and he did this by turning them into metal slabs, then using a circular saw on them, somehow?  It never gets that far, but it sure looks like he’s planning to cut Goku’s slab into sections, like slicing a sheet cake.   How does that help him understand Goku’s powers?  Isn’t he just made of metal when he’s like this?  Can Dr. Mu learn anything about Goku while he’s like this, or does he have to turn him back into a person first?  And wouldn’t this kill Goku?  If he doesn’t need Goku alive for this process, then why not just euthanize Goku from the start and do an autopsy?

✨Positivity Page✨

I guess it’s kind of neat how Trunks took the initiative in this arc, but it also sucks that we never actually got to see him doing whatever he said he was up to while he was off-screen.  Sorry, but that seems to be the most positive thing I can think of for this episode.

Well, this reaction shot of Dr. Mu looks pretty sweet.  I guess I’ll go with that.

✨The Blade Braxton Memorial Haiku*✨

Doctor Mu’s secret.

Trunks has found the hidden door

To Mu’s porn folder.

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

Chapter Six: E Pluribus Unum. I’m gonna vomit on the Duffer Brothers, I swear to God.

1.) I forgot that Russian recovered from a head wound that knocked him out super fast.

2.) I also forgot how close they got to the gate during their escape.

3.) Robin and Steve hold the doors so Dustin and Erica can escape. Also there’s no conversation before it happens, Steve just kind of does it and Dustin is like ‘I won’t forget you’ and leaves.

4.) This chase would be more impressive if it wasn’t relying on gross CGI. Like, the demogorgon is objectively a less scary design but because there was a dude in a suit for a lot of it, it’s still more impressive than the mind flayer at the end of the day.

5.) The mind flayer is connecting all of the victims, right? So could Heather see what her father was doing? Could she see his last moments before he was killed? Could she feel it?

7.) Mayor Kline presents Fun Fair.

8.) The carnival ride that the Russian holds the mayor in goes wicked fast. Does that ride normally go that fast or is this like the elevator?

9.) Strawberry and cherry slurpees taste different, Hopper. You absolute animal.

10.) I’m glad he likes strawberry too. And glad Hopper finally wasn’t stupid.

11.) Lucas Charles Sinclair.

12.) Erica is such a little sister to be like “Everything else tracks, but my brother is a little bitch so that part doesn’t.”

13.) Dustin knowing that much about My Little Pony is actually a little weird from what I know of the franchise. Bronies are more modern.

14.) My poor boy Steve. This part I remember a lot because it’s put in so many fucking Steddie fics. Steve is actually a very good liar. I forgot he offers them ice cream though.

15.) The Russians illicit the most terrified laughter out of Steve by laughing.

16.) Robin is so worried about Steveeeee.

17.) Robin spits in his face. I forgot she did that. My queen.

18.) Mike is being a ridiculous white knight.

19.) Hopper is having an absolute panic attack after learning about the upside down.

20.) “Breaking in is impossible.” Cuts to the literal children who managed it.

21.) lmaooooo Erica casually saying, “Deadly weapon, could be useful” is one of the best lines of this season.

22.) Steve was unconscious for IDK how long. Also I think he’s got a broken rib.

23.) I love Robin and Steve so much.

24.) I just realized I don’t know why Steve and Robin were in the same sophomore English class if they’re not in the same grade. Did Steve have to repeat sophomore English or did the Duffers not realize they were in different graduating classes yet?

25.) Could the props department not make that needle retract? It’s like barely against his skin.

26.) I forgot the kids don’t check on Steve or Dustin like at all.

27.) We got a flashback to El’s bio mom.

28.) I believe this episode takes place July 4th, 1985, which makes it exactly 4 years before I was born. That’s not relevant to anything, it’s just interesting.

29.) I feel bad for baby Billy, but not adult Billy. Adult Billy still wanted to kill Lucas and did nearly kill Steve. And neither of those things happened because of the Mindflayer. And his dad being shit isn’t an excuse either. I was abused all throughout my childhood and I never beat someone into a concussion.

30.) “Thank you, and good day!” Joyce screams into a phone.

31.) i forgot how funny Robin and Steve are when they’re high.

32.) Oh I forgot a fingernail almost gets ripped out before Robin announces they cracked it in a day.

33.) I forgot that somehow Dustin ended up with the deadly weapon and probably killed the torturer.

34.) Okay so Billy’s speech makes more sense now in hindsight considering what I know about season 4 (although I did not watch season 4 yet like at all).

35.) I forgot Billy’s the only Flayed person that doesn’t turn into bad CGI goo. RIP disposable people.

[jekde04]

Cuddle Buddies

For Gruvia Week 2021: Day 2 - Warmth

Day 1 | Day 3 | Day 4

Pairing: Gruvia (Gray Fullbuster & Juvia Lockser)

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Genre: Romance

Word Count: 2,355 words

Summary: Gray doesn’t cuddle. But special circumstances *cough-Juvia-cough* might change his mind.

You may also read it on FanFiction.net and AO3! Check out my master list for other Gruvia fics.

Gray Fullbuster does not cuddle.

He'd like to say it was because he was an ice mage – he had a low tolerance for heat, regardless of whether it was coming from the blazing sun or another's warm embrace. It was just how he was made.

But the truth was, even if he weren't an ice mage, he still couldn't see the appeal of having someone's sticky, sweaty body squashed against him. How it can even be remotely considered comforting was beyond him.

He could pat you on the back, ruffle the hair on your head, and even sit beside you – but definitely no hugs.

Except if he absolutely had to.

Like, if it was a matter of life and, well, severe hypothermia.

And so, it was because of this that Gray found himself in one of the beds in the infirmary, cuddling with Juvia Lockser.

Whether he wanted to or not was already out of the question. After all, it was his fault that it had come to this, and he had no choice but to provide her with his body heat until her temperature rose back to normal.

"Feeling better?" Gray asked, absently stroking the soft locks of Juvia's hair as he held her close.

"Y-yes, Gray-sama. Thank you," she mumbled, her breath tickling the crook of his neck, sending shivers down his bare back.

Despite this, Gray didn't budge from his position. It wasn't because he was actually enjoying this. In fact, he could feel beads of sticky sweat forming on his forehead, neck, and chest. He was just worried that Juvia still hadn't fully recovered, that was all. After all, Juvia could be so stupidly selfless a lot of times, saying she was okay even when she clearly wasn't. He knew her enough by now to see right through her.

"Are you sure? You're still shivering," he whispered. Instinctively, he pressed her body closer to him, willing his warmth to transfer to her.

He felt Juvia push against him a little so she could look up at him. Her face was still pale, although he could see a little pink blooming on her cheeks. She also managed to give him one of her bright smiles without her teeth chattering.

"Yes. Juvia's really fine now." She moved her hands from his chest to his face, cupping his cheeks. Instantly, he felt warmth course up his face, though he wasn't sure if it was because of Juvia's hands or... something else. "See? Juvia's hands are warm now, thanks to Gray-sama."

He averted his eyes from her, feeling both bashful and guilty. "Don't be stupid. It's also because of me that you almost froze to death."

Juvia laughed softly. "Gray-sama is so dramatic! It was just part of training. Juvia will get used to it, don't worry."

After Gray discovered that he could actually use Juvia's water body as his weapon of ice destruction, the two of them wasted no time training their newfound spells. At first, everything worked the way they wanted it to, until Juvia started experiencing hypothermic bouts right after training. They eventually figured out that frequent use of Gray's ice magic on Juvia's water body made it difficult for her to control her body temperature.

They were already practicing the new spells for three days straight when Juvia had her first hypothermic episode. Gray could still remember how proud he felt after flawlessly executing Juvia Hammer when he noticed that it took some time for Juvia to reform her physical body. And when she finally did, all color drained from his face as a deathly pale Juvia reached out to him before collapsing, his reflexes activating just in time to catch her before her solid body hit the ground. His heart drummed wildly as he saw icicles clinging to her blue hair, her usual red lips now devoid of any color, her body shivering uncontrollably.

For a moment, Gray was transported back to that chilling snowstorm all over again, holding a lifeless Juvia in his arms. His blood ran cold.

He shook off the memory and carried Juvia to the guild's infirmary as fast as he could. The moment he placed Juvia on the bed, Wendy was already by their side, doing everything she could to raise the water mage's dangerously low temperature. Wendy mentioned something about using body heat to defrost Juvia quickly, and Gray wasted no time taking off the freezing woman's coat and enveloping her corseted body in his embrace.

Looking back, he thought he probably wasn't the best choice to provide body heat, but the thought of someone else holding Juvia was... well, he'd rather not think about it.

Someone must have called for Porlyusica because the next thing Gray remembered was the old lady checking up on Juvia, lauding Wendy's efforts, and telling him to continue what he was doing.

"Her water body is slowly heating her up, so she's going to be fine," the healer had said. "You can continue training your new spells so her body gets used to it, but don't be stupid and overdo it," she added, glaring at Gray.

After that incident, Gray was extremely hesitant to continue training the new spells. But Juvia was adamant about pushing through, claiming that it would be good for her to develop a resistance to cold as well.

Gray eventually relented, on one condition: that he would help her raise her temperature quickly with his body heat.

At first, Juvia couldn't believe her ears. Did Gray-sama just offer to hug Juvia of his own free will? But when Gray repeated his request while looking straight into her eyes and without blushing the tiniest bit, Juvia's confusion turned to bubbling happiness. She launched herself at Gray, muttering, "Gray-sama can cuddle with Juvia all he wants. We can start now!" It was only then that it hit Gray how incredibly embarrassing his request was, and he instantly turned a bright shade of red as Juvia continued clinging to him.

And so, cuddling after training became a routine for them, the afternoons spent sharing a bed at the infirmary becoming a common occurrence. All reluctance Gray had at the beginning was instantly erased every time Juvia would transform back to her physical body, trembling from the cold and seeking the warmth of his body. It wasn't as bad as that first time when Juvia looked as pale as a ghost – they were careful not to overtrain – but it still alarmed Gray enough to make him not want to let Juvia stray from his embrace for at least an hour until he could feel her body's warmth mixing with his.

"Still, you know you can always ask me to stop the training anytime, right?" Gray asked, staring at her intently. "I'm serious, Juvia. I don't want you overdoing things, saying you're okay when you're not. Promise me you won't lie to me about these things."

He was ready for her to tease him about how worried he was for her, but Juvia just gave him a sweet smile. She pinched his cheeks, earning a groan from the ice mage. "Juvia promises. Now, stop worrying so much. She's really fine now."

Gray sighed and loosened his hold on Juvia. She extracted herself from his grip, and Gray felt the loss of her body right away.

Juvia sat up from the bed and straightened her clothes. She looked back at Gray.

"Let's try again tomorrow?"

"As long as you're fine."

He would always be there to help her, anyway.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Juvia Geyser!"

Activating her Sierra form, Juvia absorbed Gray's magic, causing her water body to shoot up like a geyser. Sharp spikes hit the tree branch they were targeting, breaking it in a clean sweep. Juvia then melted into a puddle and reformed her normal body.

"Nice, Juvia!" Gray grinned, running towards her. He was about to hug her like he usually did when she stopped him with a firm hand on his bare chest.

"Juvia's okay now, Gray-sama. It took her a while, but she can normalize her body temperature quickly now." She smiled from ear to ear.

Gray frowned, studying her for any sign of hypothermia. "Are you sure?" He touched her forehead underneath her bangs. "If you're cold, then –"

"Juvia appreciates Gray-sama's kindness, but really, she's fine," she reassured him.

"But Porlyusica said we should –"

" – keep training so Juvia can get used to it," she finished for him. "And now, Juvia has gotten used to it, so Gray-sama has nothing to worry about!"

After a pause, he answered, "Alright. Whatever." He started walking back to the guild when Juvia called out to him.

"Gray-sama?"

"What?" It came out harsher than he intended, and he caught the concern in Juvia's expression.

"Is Gray-sama mad at Juvia?"

No, he wanted to reply, because really, his mind was relieved that Juvia was fine. They could finally train using their full powers and without that cloud of worry hovering over him. He could stop going easy on her and go back to the way it was. They no longer had to waste hours of precious time just staying in bed, holding each other.

It was all good.

But why does he feel... angry? Why couldn't he stop himself from balling his fists and gritting his teeth from frustration?

Why did it feel so wrong?

Juvia's warm hand on his tensed shoulders shook Gray out of his reverie.

"Gray-sama shouldn't be mad at himself for freezing Juvia. It wasn't your fault," Juvia said softly. "You didn't have to go out of your way to help Juvia –"

"That's the problem!" Gray snapped, realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. "You always think you're a bother when you're not. You always think about others first without thinking about yourself and your needs! Tell me, have I ever complained about helping you, Juvia?"

She stared at him, confusion written all over her face. Finally, she spoke. "You didn't, Gray-sama. But Juvia didn't want to impose herself because she knew that Gray-sama's not the cuddling type –"

"The hell I'm not, but I want to!" he exclaimed before he could even think of his words. "It's not that I feel responsible for what happened to you, but either way, I want to take care of you. I want you to rely on me when you need to – no, not just when you need to, but whenever you want to. All the time if that's what you want. Do you get me?"

Juvia opened her mouth to speak, only to close it again. Gray's words finally caught up with him, and he felt blood rush to his cheeks. He fought the urge to freeze Juvia and run away to where his feelings won't catch up with him.

After a few moments of wishing that the earth would swallow him whole, Juvia broke the awkward silence. "Is this Gray-sama's way of telling Juvia that he's okay with being cuddle buddies?"

"Cuddle... buddies? That's not... that's... what?" Things just kept getting more and more embarrassing.

Juvia stepped closer to him so that they were mere inches away from each other. Unlike Gray, she didn't seem the least bit bashful when she explained, "Juvia feels like it's Gray-sama's way of saying he'd like to continue hugging Juvia, frozen or not. Is Juvia right?"

"Ye – no," Gray stuttered.

"No? Gray-sama doesn't want to hug Juvia?"

"No – I mean, yes! Uhm, what I want to say is, I don't mind it... if you want... not that I want to, but you – it's up to you! Whatever you want!" Gray finished, losing his cool every second. Tsk, he thought, why did she have to be so blunt about it?

Juvia just stared at him, obviously trying to decipher his jumble of words. Gray took the opportunity to redeem himself. "But you're okay now, right? You're not bluffing?"

Juvia shook her head.

"Okay, in that case..." Gray let himself trail off as he motioned back to the guild. He couldn't wait to go home, have a nice, cold shower, and just forget all the cheesy things he said today. Tomorrow was another day.

He turned around, picked up his discarded shirt, and wore it. He was about to walk off when he felt Juvia's arms circle him from behind, her warm and curvy body pressed against his back.

"Juvia... wants to hug Gray-sama," she whispered, every word a warm breath against his shoulder blade. "She's no longer freezing, but if Gray-sama meant what he said... she wants to rely on Gray-sama even when she doesn't need to. Just because she wants to."

Sometimes, he couldn't help but marvel at how Juvia could totally get him, even when he couldn't properly put his feelings into words. He smiled as he felt warmth spread all over his body.

Gray loosened Juvia's hands so that he could turn around and hug her properly. One of his arms wrapped around her head and the other one around her waist. He buried his head on her hair.

"I meant what I said," he said softly, inhaling the sweet scent of petrichor in Juvia's hair. He felt Juvia's arms tighten around him.

They stayed like that for a few beats before Juvia looked up with a smirk and said, "If Gray-sama wants a hug from Juvia so badly, he should just have said so."

Gray turned red and was about to deny it when he stopped himself. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but their after-training cuddling sessions had become a routine he wasn't willing to let go of yet.

"Shut up."

Juvia gasped as Gray swiftly carried her, bridal style, and walked to a nearby shade. He set her down with her back against the tree trunk and sat beside her. He put his arms around her and held her close to him.

"Gray-sama?"

"Hm?"

"Cuddling is nice, isn't it?"

For the record, Gray still hated cuddling. But if Juvia was his cuddle buddy...

"I guess... it's not that bad," he whispered as he rested his head on top of hers, hiding his flaming cheeks.

A/N: I honestly had a hard time thinking of a story for this prompt because I just wrote Winter Warmth a couple of months ago, but I’m glad I was able to come up with another (fluffy) idea for literally the same prompt. Just so you know, it might take a while for me to post the next update, but I’ll complete Gruvia Week 2021, I promise. 😊

[mesozoic-system]

Bakugou Katsuki is not as bad as he seems.

Okay, fine. That's a lie. Bakugou is a loud and obnoxious asshole with little to no character development and will snap at anyone who breathes on him the wrong way.

Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to why he's like that.

You all know what PTSD is, yeah? If not, it stands for "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder". It's something that causes panic attacks, unnecessary aggression, trust issues, nightmares, anxiety, depression, and more. People will develop it after a traumatic experience. It takes years of therapy to recover... actually, most people never recover from it.

Fun fact: Katsuki canonically has PTSD. It's confirmed, and you know what? After everything he's been through, it's not much of a surprise. He's been through one tragedy after another and never seems to get a break.

When we first met Bakugou Mitsuki (Katsuki's mother) in chapter #96, we instantly realized how aggressive she was. I mean come on! She talked smack right in front of him and his teachers- in front of All Might who she knew her son was very fond of. Katsuki may be irritable, but to have your own mother backhand you in front of your own role model is a little much.

Later on in chapter #165 during the Provisual License Exams, we get a little more information that only points towards more abuse- and this time it's not so verbal.

Most people paid no real attention nor gave it a second thought in these panels, but remember when Katsuki suggested to use violence against the kids? Of course, you'd look at it and wave it off as "normal Bakugou behavior", but what he says next took me by surprise:

That's right. He was raised that way.

Which means either Mitsuki or Masaru (or both) had struck him in some way multiple times as he was growing up, and I doubt it was Masaru.

"Spoiled" my ass. He might have a strong quirk, but people don't turn into little monsters just by being praised. It'll definely boost his confidence, but not dramatically. This could also explain his aggression toward Midoriya. He realized how helpless he was and had power over someone else for once. But that's just a theory.

Okay, let's fast forward a bit. He's finishing up his third year of Middle School and is preparing for the UA entrance exams. He's pushed away his childhood friend to follow his own dreams and tells him to jump off the roof.

Literally.

And then he walks out the door only to regret it much, much, muuuch later in the series- y'know. The "character development" I was talking about.

Next time we see him though, he gets what he deserves.

One panel he's tramping through an alley with his friends, and the next, he's being swallowed alive by the most perverted-looking slime monster I've ever laid my eyes on.

While Izuku's dreams are being crushed by his own hero, Katsuki is fighting for his life in the middle of town. He's struggling, but all he could do was look back at all the dozens of fearful eyes...

Right there. Right now. Look at him:

He's terrified. He's humiliated and afraid and hurt and despite all of the heroes that were there, none of them had even attempted to save him.

And this is where it really starts. This is where it all begins. Next thing we know, Izuku's running straight for him... The boy Katsuki's bullied almost all of his life is risking his own in order to save him.

You know the story from there; All Might trains Izuku to withhold his power, they get accepted into UA, and then comes the Sports Festival.

Katsuki's already made up his mind: he's gonna win. He's willing to give everything he has to show the country what he's made of, and this may be his only chance to make up for the mishap several months ago. And Monoma, being a professional at making things worse by opening his mouth, rubs salt in the wound.

It was pretty easy to predict Katsuki's reaction: pissed off and more than ready to prove him wrong. He does, but it cost him his "first place" during the Calvary Battle. But that's okay 'cuz it's not over yet!

Welcome to the next and last stage of the festival: The Battle Tournament, where all the kids get to beat the shit out of each other until only one remains.

Turns out, Katsuki does win. It was a foolproof plan: get Todoroki to go all out on him so he can make a final impression before the end of the day. But it was obvious that Shouto was still unsure of himself, so Katsuki did what he did best:

He had to piss him off.

But instead of getting angry and bursting into flames like he had planned, Shouto threw away the battle at the last second, and everything Katsuki had worked for with it.

No shit he's gonna be upset! He worked his ass off to get where he was, and the whole point was to leave himself a footprint! His entire life had been dedicated to that moment, and it faded away right in front of him.

Midnight put him to sleep and he woke up and threw a temper tantrum.

Now this is was UA did wrong:

Why would you do that?! They were all aware of what happened to him only a few months ago, he obviously hasn't properly recovered from it, and they restrain him in front of thousands of people. They cover his mouth and gag him, lock his hands in a tiny metal box and expect him not to go insane. Helloooo?! Wake up! He's just a kid!

Several months go by and now it's time for camp. Katsuki is tired. They all are. It's been a long day of training and training and training, and suddenly villains come out of nowhere, and nobody is prepared. And who shows up? The League of Villains, and they're after certain students...

Tokoyami escapes safely, but Katsuki isn't so lucky.

Just think about that for a second. When we see Shigaraki holding a picture of him, it's the one where UA tied him up. He knows what this child has gone through and he pities him. To be honest, I think the LoV treated him much better than anyone ever has (except maybe Kirishima). They're hesitant, but they treat him with kindness. They didn't just want him for his quirk. They saw what the heroes did to him and wanted to help him get the revenge he deserved.

But when All Might showed up (more like "burst through the wall like the Cool Aid man"), Katsuki is instantly teleported in the strangest way possible... and the most traumatizing.

He chokes out this weird slime-like substance that devours him within seconds. Thankfully it only last that long, but then again, the Sludge Incident, remember?

Yeah, bet that brings back some memories.

But what must have hurt him the most was All Might's downfall and early retirement. He said it himself:

After several chapters, he finally burst. He's been holding all the pain inside of him until it bubbled over and he couldn't take it anymore. So he went to the only person he could- the person he hated and yet trusted the most.

Maybe the Class 1A concert helped him in a way. It seemed like it brought him down and maybe even relaxed him a little. And something incredible happens. Something we haven't seen from him at all until now...

(From here, I'll try to keep it short to avoid as many manga spoilers as I can. That and I'm tired...)

He began to change; started to support Izuku... in his own twisted way, of course. As chapters went by, he started to open up little by little. He admitted what he had done to Izuku in middle school to All Might, which had brought him some peace of mind. It wasn't quite the apology we had hoped for, but I guess it'll do.

And during the war, he made the greatest sacrifice, finally unlocking his quirk's full potential. Despite being unable to move, he used his quirk to throw himself in front of Izuku without thinking, taking a blow to his stomach. To his stomach.

He was impaled.

Holy shit.

Last time someone had been impaled was Nighteye, and he died from his wounds.

But Katsuki somehow managed to survive... And woke up ready to beat Izuku's ass if he didn't wake up.

Anyway, that's all I have to say (so far). However, I'm excited for Season 5 of the anime series! Can't wait to see our new story animated! I mean, I've been watching the episodes as they come out, but still.

-Blightcon

[trashlie]

Anticipating the end of the Shinae Alyssa flashback arc

Rarely do I feel confident enough to actually make an ILY prediction post - I prefer to, you know, just think about direction or whatever because I know I cannot ever predict HOW anything will happen. But I do want to. Try talking (hopefully briefly...? at least for me!) about how I think the rest of this flashback arc will play out! I’ll put it all under a read more for those who aren’t up to date on the fast pass! Again, it’s not really an actual prediction, just me feeling out what I think remains of the story, I guess?

I think - and maybe I’m wrong, but I thiiiiiink - we are within 3 episodes of the flashback ending? Timelinewise it feels like we’re right on the edge of it, right? While I think it COULD wrap up in one episode, I feel like it could come across tight and rushed if that happens? But my thoughts on this are based on: 

Using episodes 16 and 102, we know Shinae’s fall seems to happen when Minyuk has a tournament and Shinae is on cleaning duty with Alyssa and a couple other girls.

Shinae and Alyssa aren’t hanging out much anymore - or maybe at all. By this time, Alyssa has made friends with some other girls. 

The fall seems to happen when Shinae is trying to talk to Alyssa and uses the line “Why are you saying this? I thought we were friends!”

There’s an incident where Shinae is accused of taking someone else’s project. Originally I’d thought that was the project she recovered from the girl who bought hers, so I don’t know if this something quim has changed or a result of other kids hearing about the incident and thinking Shinae is a bully who steals other peoples’ work. Timeline-wise, it doesn’t seem to fit the project incident we’ve already seen, thus I’m wondering if quimchee has altered some of these flashbacks a bit. The details between 17 and 102 are consistent - Alyssa is wearing a ponytail in Shinae’s hazy memory and in Maya’s memory, we see Alyssa pass her while putting up her hair. I know that’s a tiny detail but, design-wise she’s keeping it the same. 

My main reason of thinking there’s not long left between where we currently are and when Shinae’s fall happens is that it doesn’t seem like a long time has passed between Alyssa hanging out with the other girls, given Shinae’s use of the line “I thought we were friends”. If more time had passed, then she may have decided “I guess Alyssa is done with me” or something. 

It’s in Maya’s memory that we see Alyssa talking about how her parents don’t want her hanging out with “people that aren’t good influences” and also “she really is bad news, huh...” Notably, this happens on The Day of the Fall. Alyssa could be lying about her parents not wanting her to hang out with Shinae, and she’s chosen to pull away on her own, but... idk I’m still inclined to think that maybe her parents wanted to dissuade her from being friend with Shinae. 

I guess my line of thinking is this: it’s heavily hinted that Alyssa is being bullied by those boys in 196 for her sexuality. They use very stereotypical homophobic bullying tactics, saying she’s cute and it’s a shame that it’s “going to waste”, tell her that there’s something wrong with her head, that she has a mental illness. I can’t imagine what else this is meant to be implying, frankly, that would use this heavy-handed language. Combined with the fact that Alyssa wants no one to know, not the teachers, presumably not her family, not even Shinae, it is a heavily guarded secret, and based on her angry outburst, one she’s not completely comfortable with - maybe out of fear of how other people will react or treat her, maybe fear of what her father would say or think (or maybe, worse, she already knows his thoughts on and knows he wouldn’t approve?). 

I think it makes sense that Alyssa is afraid of Shinae finding out - especially knowing how highly Shinae thinks of her, because if she’s that afraid of people finding out, it would reason that she’s afraid of Shinae finding out, should Shinae think like other people do. As readers, we have enough confidence that Shinae would not turn on Alyssa for that, but we know Alyssa is absolutely terrified of being ostracized, and maybe that’s why. Maybe she’s been there before, or maybe she’s seen enough online or something to know what happens. It’s hard to be confident in who you are if you don’t feel supported by people, right? And to have finally made one friend, wouldn’t you be afraid to learn that maybe this friend could be that kind of person? 

So my thoughts are that someone will intervene - I know we’re supposed to think it’s Shinae, but she’s a floor above Alyssa still so I’m not sure if it would be? Though I guess she could call down to her. We’ve seen Minhyuk set up to intervene before, and I think it would make sense for it to be him. But I think Alyssa is still going to see that Shinae is there - which is exactly what she’s afraid of. 

In episode 57, when Alyssa and Shinae are left together sitting awkwardly together at the ball at the Kim formal, Shinae muses the following to herself: I can only guess she doesn’t want Yeonggi knowing anything... Is she worried I’m going to say anything? I know better than to go running my mouth off to people... Especially when I don’t exactly know the whole truth.

It was always easy to assume this is about the fall - thinking that Alyssa is afraid of Shinae telling him about how hey lol ur girlfriend and i used to be besties and then for no reason at all she ditched me and then i fell and cracked my head open isn’t that funny lol or something, but in retrospect... doesn’t that seem so minor compared to, idk, maybe harboring a secret about your sexuality? This is for another post, but the point I’m getting at here is what I bolded: Especially when I don’t exactly know the whole truth. 

So I’m thinking the miscommunication just compounds at this point. Shinae already doesn’t understand why Alyssa is so hot and cold with her, but I feel like overseeing this moment, Alyssa being bullied for exactly what she’s trying to hide from Shinae, is where it all spirals. Maybe it’s shame, maybe it’s fear, maybe it’s pride, maybe it’s all of the above. A thought I’ve actually had is, maybe in some weird way, Alyssa is trying to protect Shinae? Lol in the same way that Nol thinks by ending his friendship with Shinae will protect her from Yui, it’s possible that Alyssa may think severing ties with Shinae will stop people from dragging her through the mud with Alyssa. And if these boys are already bullying Alyssa, implying she’s a lesbian or something, then isn’t it likely they’re spreading rumors about Alyssa and Shinae together? And while Shinae would probably not even give a damn, Alyssa doesn’t know that. 

I know other people might not see it that way but, idk, I just can’t help but think maybe Alyssa could be naive enough to think maybe it would protect Shinae.

I fully acknowledge that ti seems out of sync with what we see the day of Shinae’s fall, though - that Alyssa has somewhow made friends with other girls, but could that not also be part of the process of trying to get the rumors smothered down - that if these girls accept her and like her, then why should anyone believe those boys and those rumors? Self-preservation, something we’ve seen Alyssa work at all times. 

I guess the one thing that stands out to me is Alyssa and the “She really is bad news, huh” and I can’t tell if she’s just saying this trying to sus out these girls, if she’s just assimilating, or what? Like.. you know, going through the motions, saying what she thinks they want to hear from her so that she can blend in and live that normal life she wants...? 

So I think this incident is going to be the wedge that drives Alyssa to pull away from Shinae and start hanging out with the other girls? Like I said, the timeline feels murky compared to what quimchee has shown in 105 before - maybe it’s going to be altered a bit, maybe more time is going to pass than I think? Time where Shinae is hanging out even more with Minhyuk, waiting to see if Alyssa will flip flop again, and then comes the cleaning duty day and we see Alyssa once again playing a role, doing what she can to resist running back to Shinae? “Who would want to be friends with you?” a line she probably didn’t mean, a push she didn’t expect would injure, and then the story we know? 

IDK I could be TOTALLY wrong and I wouldn’t be surprised, but I think you can see why I think it would be rushed if it happens in the next episode? I think we have to established the point where Alyssa finally pushes Shinae away and makes a choice? And then we’ll see it happen...? Curious if that’s what anyone else thinks (or frankly if anyone is looking to read this given that uhhh I know people don’t care about the flashback lol). 

Something I’m just really hung up on is Shinae’s use of the line “Especially when I don’t exactly know the whole truth” because I think it lends to the concept that Shinae knows Alyssa kept something from her, or maybe it was a rumor she heard and Alyssa never cleared up for her, you know? I’m guessing it’s more like that... that Shinae knows just enough that she could tell Nol if she wanted and it would ruin things for Alyssa, and THAT is why she’s so paranoid about finding out Shinae and Nol are friends. But again that’s a post for another day! The point that stands is: I think it’s something Alyssa pointedly never confirms or denies for Shinae and she’s left wondering what it was all about ever since. 

[roswellnmsource]

Michael Trevino Talks The Valenti Legacy & Roswell, New Mexico's Exciting Season 3

So, I'm just jumping right in here. Kyle has had a lot going on in season three, to put it mildly. How would you describe his journey so far this season?

Well, as I'm sure you know, Kyle is continuing to put out fires. He's there for as many people as he can be, but he's definitely called upon. And whenever he's needed, I feel like he shows up, but in episode 3x09, that's going to air next week, I think we kind of see things. He's reached his limit. And you sense his frustration. And I feel that it's warranted even though it comes in a bit hot, but we're in season three, and his life has taken a turn. And he's finding out more and more about his own family history, and I think it's just been a bit frustrating for him.

Sure. And while Kyle was recovering, the audience got the big bomb dropped on us that Ramos is Kyle's uncle. And that adds another layer to the Valenti history and legacy. So can you kind of speak to where Kyle currently is in regards to his feelings about his father and his feelings about the legacy of his family?

Well, I think what the writers have done is really, from season one to season three, has painted a picture of who Kyle's father was. Who is Jim Valenti? And at first, we thought he's this great guy that Kyle had looked up to and always wanted to make proud. And maybe that is the driving force in everything and anything that Kyle does. Well, now we're finding out a bit more about who Jim really was. We've been on this journey of season two with Jesse Manes, that whole interaction. And now we're finding out a bit more in season three. And that really flips Kyle's world upside down. I don't see how it couldn't. So he becomes this angsty, frustrated individual because you're thinking you know somebody, and you're finding out all these different things about him or her. And so with Eduardo, I feel that it's like, "What else? What else am I missing?" What else can be thrown his way? Because now we find out that, yeah, Eduardo, "Oh, you're my uncle. Interesting. Why hasn't anybody ever told me that before? Where have you been? Can you help me understand what is going on?" And when you think about that, Kyle probably thinks, "Well, who am I really? What is this really about?" So I don't know if he's, maybe, in the middle of wondering or questioning his own identity of what is this Valenti code? Has that been a lie? Because that's something that he's lived by, so that's where we're at.

Will we get to find out more about what happened the night that Kyle was attacked?

No, not really. I'm trying to think fast here of exactly, no, I mean, when we started episode 309, we find out, has he been in a coma? Was he injected with something? Was he knocked out? So, it was briefly explained, but I think, more so, we get into Eduardo and Kyle. Who are they to one another? And that is a jumping-off point for Kyle.

You touched on this a little bit earlier, but Kyle is not only the doctor that everyone needs, but he's also a confidant as well. Can you speak to Kyle's role, how you see Kyle's role within his group of friends?

Yeah. I think Kyle is somebody that you can depend on. He's somebody who has everybody's best interest at heart. If you call upon him, he's going to be there for you. And I think that what I've enjoyed about being on the show is how Kyle is interwoven between all the storylines, everything that's happening. He is a part of that, in some capacity. So that's been fun to play just as an actor with everybody on our cast, but that's just going to continue. And I feel like it's just going to get heavier. Just a heavier burden on Kyle, on what else needs to be done, how he can help, what is asked of him, needed of him to finish off the season.

And that also kind of flows into my next question, which is that Kyle is a character that has deeply personal relationships with pretty much all of the core characters, but is there a certain dynamic that you wish could be explored a bit more on the show? Like this season, we've got you with Michael some more and some more with you and Rosa, is there any particular dynamic you'd like to see explored more?

Great question. A hundred percent. Kyle and Isobel. I want to see it. I want them to...what is their dynamic? Cause I think the energy that Lily brings to Isobel is so... it's not infectious, but it's... it is infectious, but it's also, she just has so much energy. She's a ball of energy, and I want to see...and she's powerful. She's just fierce. And so, I'd like to see more Isobel and Kyle scenes. What is their friendship relationship to one another? And I'd like to explore that.

Yeah, that'd be great. Cause I also think with Kyle, every person he gets to interact with brings out a different side to him, which is really nice to see as well.

Yes, very much so. I'm glad you noticed that because it's true. It's true. And that's why I picked Isobel because I think that out of everybody, you see the most, you see such a different side of Kyle whenever he's interacting with Isobel. For whatever reason, I feel like it's always there compared to any other character. And so, I'd want to explore that more.

Yeah, I'd like that too. So last season, we saw Kyle in a relationship with Steph, but this season we haven't seen him pursuing anyone romantically. Will that be something that changes as the season progresses, or will his focus kind of lay elsewhere?

No, I think the focus at this point is not only is he going to be more involved with Deep Sky and Eduardo. But everybody, in some way, is going to have to deal with Jones. And that's gotta be priority number one. So, I don't see any time for any romance.

Earlier in the season, Kyle was presented with an opportunity to potentially leave Roswell for new opportunities. If that were to ever happen, which I hope it never does, where do you think Kyle would end up?

Ooh! That's fun. I think Kyle would go to New York. I think he'd go to the East Coast. I think he'd want to be in the big city. He'd want to be in Manhattan and just have that energy. Because we all love Roswell, but it is a bit of small-town living. And so, I think I would see him pursuing more in the medical field in the big city.

This season feels like a bit of a rebirth in some ways. And it's been a lot of fun for the audience. So, is there anything about season three that you particularly enjoy? Not just for Kyle, but the show as a whole?

Ooh. Listen, where we're at now in the season is Jones. Jones is our "big bad," if you will. And what's fun is, one to see Nathan Dean play two characters, right? And trying to see him add different layers to both of them. So that's been fun. I know last season he was working his ass off, and I think it shows. But to do that, to play two characters, is a lot. I really enjoyed him tackling that, but all of us have that in common, right? It's like, okay, we have to all come together, join forces almost like it's The Avengers or something to take care of Jones. This is our big bad. This is priority number one, and this is what we have to take care of. And I know in the later episodes, it's everybody joining forces. I mean, it's exactly what you would think of all of us in one scene, coming together, being like, "Okay, we got to get rid of this guy. How do we do this?" And everybody has their job.

I know you are shooting season four now. What is it like being back in Santa Fe and stepping back into the role, and how much do you enjoy filming in Santa Fe and everything that kind of goes with it?

Well, I noticed, we shot season three a little later in the year, and so it was the dead of winter; it was freezing. I think you can see that in the episodes that are currently airing. We may seem like we're not cold, but we are freezing, freezing. I liked that we started a bit earlier for season four. So right now, the cold hasn't set in yet. We're shooting very beautiful exterior shots, and it's been nice. It's been nice. The show is still going. I do want to thank all the fans that continue to watch week to week and are still invested in the story that we're telling and the characters that we're playing because we're getting into that rare territory. It's season four, and we're all still happy to be here. We're all still working. I've been on series' that last a long time. And sometimes the dynamics can shift, right? But I can honestly say that I think everybody on this series is happy to be here and happy to work and grateful for that. And so, it is a nice feeling. We're plugging away right now. It's season four; things are going really well. I really like these episodes. And it's a different energy because we're working, but then we're also able to get instant feedback on which episodes are airing currently. That's a really nice feeling, but me, I enjoy Santa Fe. It's a beautiful part of New Mexico. And we're all great right now until maybe in about a month and a half until it gets freezing again. But right now, we're good.

Yeah, and congratulations to you because, like you alluded to, getting four seasons nowadays is no easy thing to do. So, you guys should be very proud of that.

And trust me, I'm reminding our cast every chance I get. I'm like, "Hey, this is a good thing here." I think people are still engaged in what we're doing. People are still tuning in. And so as long as that's happening and we're doing our jobs, everything should be fine.

This is just a little bit of a fun question. If you could think of a Vampire Diaries character that you would like to see swoop into Roswell for a bit, who do you think that would be?

Oh, damn. That's a great question. I'd love to have more time to think on this, but off the top of my head right away, gut reaction because I'm envisioning my buddy, Zach Roerig, in a Sheriff's uniform. And I'm envisioning Max in a Sheriff's uniform. And I don't know why I want them to... maybe they don't get along. Maybe there's a new sheriff in town. I don't know what. I don't know what, but it would be very awesome to see Zach Roerig play Matt Donovan in Roswell, New Mexico. But him be that character. Have him be Matt Donovan and just kind of react to what's going on here. And if it's the same character, you'd think he'd be like, "Okay, first I was dealing with witches, werewolves, and vampires. I'm coming to this town. You're telling me there's aliens here." Let's make this a comedy. I want to see that play out. That would be hilarious.

Yes, it really would be. Last question for me, with this season winding down, is there anything you can tease for us about where Kyle's story goes from here?

I think what we're going to see him and Eduardo be allies to one another, and Kyle's involvement in Deep Sky is going to be greater, and everybody has to come together for this guy, Jones. It's all hands on deck. Cause Jones is very powerful, manipulative, and we have to get him out of here.

[chicoriii]

Season 4, Episode 4 - Mr Pigeon 72

I have no idea where to start. This episode has some good things and some extremely stupid.

Marinette isn't still completely fine, but I prefer when she deals with it through being hyperactive than being a whining crybaby.

I know people don't agree with me, but personally I don't buy the whole revealing identity to Alya. It's not a problem with Alya herself, I would say the same about every single character who is not named Alix Kubdel at this point of the story. I haven't written anything in my post about Gang of Secrets, because I thought it would be undone in some way at the start of the next episode. The creators did nothing to explain why revealing identity of Ladybug to anyone was super dangerous and would result in a catastrophe in seasons 1-3 and the first two episodes of S4, but it's magically fine in episode 3. Only Alix made sense to me, as she will be the rabbit Miraculous holder, so she is destined to discover identities of everyone sooner or later and Marinette is aware of that. While it's not necessary to learn identity of anyone to other temporary Miraculous wielders, including Alya. Also that reveal hasn't been foreshadowed in season 3, while the show usually does it, especially if it's about something as important as that! More, in late S3, it's been shown that Alya still can't resist to not talking about Marinette's love life with Nino, despite she asked her to not do it. Now the girl, who is overly excited about superhero stuff, has no problems with even accidental revealing anything to Nino or someone else. She's even "stealing" Bunnix line that she's great at keeping secrets (sorry but you, the creators, haven't shown us that she's indeed is before!). This is why I think that reveal hasn't been planned before they started writing season 4.

But okay, I can deal with it, even if I don't buy it, but things these happened in Mr. Pigeon 72 are even more inconsistent with previous seasons. I have been worried about it, so it doesn't surprised me. For some reason Guardian related-things that have been kept in a secret before from everyone minus current Guardian and the future Guardian, are now fine being done in front of Kwamis (remember, they haven't been allowed to learn about making potions before!) and a civilian who is just a temporal Miraculous holder, not someone who is supposed to be trained to be a new Guardian. You can say - new Guardian, new rules, but why? Marinette has been portrayed as someone who respect authorities, she has never questioned any Fu's rules. It wasn't even said in the episode that she's going to change the rules. I hate that the writers don't even bother to explain us what's going on. Probably they don't bother about consistency, they think the audience is going to be too excited about Alya knowing Ladybug's identity and helping Marinette to question anything about it? How Alya could be allowed to learn the Guardian secrets? She is just best friend of the protagonist, she is not one of the main characters to get that special treatment. I makes zero sense to me. Especially since Su-Han will be introduced in episode 6 and he should help Marinette with understanding the Grimoire, Alya isn't necessary here for any other reason than fanservice.

In my opinion the way how they discovering how to make charms that protects from akumasitation was the most stupid thing that happened this season and one of the most in the whole show. Marinette who is the new Guardiand and portrayed as someone extreme intelligent and creative couldn't find the solution for days, but Alya with zero training magically discovered it in a few hours at worst. And when she told her the solution in not even very clear way, Ladybug did it immediately with no effort. That was so anticlimactic. At least the animation was fine, but other aspects of it was just a big disappointment, and I was looking forward for it. Thank goodness it's just the beginning of the season, I hope later important events of the season will be better written and portrayed.

Also I find it absurd that Rena Rough is walking with a page from the Grimoire like it's just an ordinary book and she's talking about it in front of a random civilian, like things that are written there are nothing special. She or Ladybug are not careful about Miraculous lore anymore. Not to mention that they are giving hints that Rena is very close to Ladybug in public, suspiciously close. And now with them being too careless, that's not hard to suspect that Rena Rouge is someone very close to Ladybug, maybe even as a civilian. Shadow Moth knows Rena Rouge's identity, and it's easy to him to learn who is Alya Cesaire's best friend if he doesn't know it yet, after all his son is in the class with her. Marinette has always been super careful and serious about her duties before, why that sudden change with zero explanation? It's just very out of character to her in my opinion.

I didn't like the akuma battle either, it's now the worst fight of the season in my opinion. It was so short and felt very lazy. I only liked that Plagg got some action and interaction with Ladybug (though it should be suspicious for her that he managed to reach to her that fast). He should be aware now that Alya knows Ladybug's identity but he acts like nothing happened. Not a word about it being unfair towards his kid or something, weird.

Thankfully the rest of the episode is generally more or less fun to me. It was nice to see Marinette and Kagami interacting again. I loved Kagami in the episode, although it was a bit weird to me that she isn't seemed to be affected by her breaking up with Adrien. Like her crush was very shallow, so she managed to recover herself from it very quickly. While it's been shown that Luka is hurt, despite Lukanette always seemed to be much more shallow than Adrigami in my opinion. But maybe it's because she's so down to earth, so being less emotional makes sense for her character. I liked how her attitude was opposite to Marinette's hyperactive: "No, I don't want to be in a relationship with Adrien again, he disappointed me, just let me live!!!". And she's another character who said that Marinette and Adrien are made for each other. I'm not surprised that Kagami sees it now when she tried to be with him and that didn't work. She's observant, sees more than many other characters. It seems she's an Adrienette shipper now. It's also good that her issue with Adrien wasn't resolved that easily and too fast. They need more time, but I'm sure they will be friends again.

So, we've gotten shirtless Adrien. I remember seeing a tweet of Thomas in which he answered to a question if there will be a beach episode and he said we will get something similar. I wonder if he meant this episode. Oh, they just remembered that Adrien is supposed to be allergic to feathers. It seems Adrien has allergic reactions only when it's somewhat related to the plot. When it's not, he's completely fine.

The reference to the famous Umbrella Scene™ out of nowhere in a random episode? It probably means something. I can see "reverse crush" supporters interpreting it as a proof to their theory, especially since this time Adrien did something clumsy and Marinette is laughing because of it (actually both of them). Or maybe because it's the first episode of season 4 with Marinette and Adrien interactions, they decided to be that much gracious for Adrienette fans, to compensate lack of it in the first three episodes. Oh wow, Marinette managed to propose spending more time together to Adrien without stuttering. Probably because she has done it spontaneously. Marinette is the most nervous when she's planning and thinking what could go wrong too much. This time she had no time to it, so it went more smoothly. It's like they building development of their relationship, but it didn't seem in Guiltrip (that's episode 11 chronologically) that something changed.

Seeing screenshot above, you can easily imagine how great friends they could be, being very comfortable around each other and laughing together, if not Marinette's anxiety. We need Adrienette development so much to get more moments like this.

Oh and I just realized that it's also one of the veeeeery few episodes with no real Ladynoir at all (the only other one I remember is Style Queen). So if there was no Adrienette it would be an episode without interactions of two main characters at all (although we almost got Ladrien). It could be another reason why this episode is that nice for Adrien and Marinette ship.

After seeing overly excited Marinette dancing in the rain, I can't believe she can manage completely give up on Adrien. It doesn't look like this at all.

Also we've seen three photos of Adrien wearing THAT scarf. It could not mean nothing different that foreshadowing that he's going to discover the truth about it somewhere this season. But I have no idea what Ladybug's mask with shining eyes could mean.

I don't know what to think about the episode. Despite absurd Guardian-related things, I still liked it much more than Gang of Secrets, but I have no idea if I generally enjoyed it more than other episodes of this season or not. At least it's an episode without stupid drama, which is amazing.

---------

I'm currently less active on social media, because my internet connection is very unstable, it often works very slowly to the point I'm not patient enough to visit Tumblr. Also I block spoiler tags again, because I don't want to see spoilers from the episodes those are going to be released very soon, as I feel that they reveal too much to me once more. We're currently in a marathon of the new episodes and since watching them is the more more enjoyable, the less I know about them, I decided to try avoid spoilers as much as I can. The only bad thing is that I can't be read discussions about the new episodes, reblog them and adding something from me until Optigami will be aired.

[winterscaptain]

infirmity.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: part four of our 100 arc, covering 5x02, haunted! I forgot how much i love this episode, so i really leaned into this one. it’s a labor of love!! i can’t wait to hear what you all think (i crave feedback and affection) and if you reblog, i’d love to see your cheeky lil thoughts in the tags!!

an ajf fic arc that happily stands on its own! one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven

words: 4.3k warnings: language, bad decisions

summary: “a friend should bear his friend’s infirmities” - william shakespeare, julius caesar.

masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | requests closed!

You knock on the door at 8:30 sharp. Almost thirty seconds pass before he answers, and you note the hand on his holster as he opens the door. 

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you chirp. “Ready to go?”

He turns, gathering his things. “What do we know about this case in Kentucky?”

Thrown a little by the lack of greeting, you follow him into the apartment. The sight of the Foyet files on his desk aren’t foreign to you, nor are they a surprise. They’ve been there every time you came over during his leave (in fact, you’ve sat on them more than once), so why you expected them to go away once he was back you had no idea.

“Um, no connection between Call and his victims. They’re canvassing, but no sign of him so far.”

“Start with his recent history. Find the stressor.” His voice is flat, impassive, and you frown. 

He was just getting better…

You’re about to head back toward the door when -

“Don’t move.”

Right. The alarm. 

He stands by to arm it. “Ready?”

“Are you?”

+++

You arrive at the tarmac, Hotch in the passenger seat of your car. He looks a little resigned, but straightens and takes a breath before he opens the door, settling into his role as he steps out and straightens his suit jacket. 

It’s always a little funny to watch him transform. You’re honored you get to see it, even if he’s in rough shape. 

Especially then. 

You climb the stairs and follow him in, settling in your usual place. 

“Good to see you,” Dave says as Aaron scoots down the aisle. It makes you smile. 

“You, too.”

Aaron gets settled and you shift, trying not to hover but finding it difficult to be separated from him after his weeks of absence. He greets the rest of the team, exchanging pleasantries and checking in with Reid about his knee. 

“Any other attacks?”

JJ shakes her head, while Spencer elaborates. “Call’s proven hard to track. He’s never had a driver's license so he’s probably still on foot.”

“Or public transportation,” Emily notes.

You hum. “He wouldn’t take the bus. His face is everywhere.”

“Has anyone found a stressor?” You weren’t sure if Aaron’s brusque affect was going to continue once you made it to the plane, but his tone just about answers your question. 

Stepping back into authority quickly, there, Aaron. 

“He just lost his job,” Garcia supplies. “He’s worked at a factory since 1990. Made appliances since forever and not a single promotion.”

Derek tilts his head. “That’s a long time to be bitter.”

“Or he doesn’t care?”

JJ looks at Spencer and shakes her head. “Not if he’s got a family to feed.” 

“Actually, he’s of the hermit variety as far as I can tell. He’s got no one. No wife, no kids, no parents.” You watch Garcia’s eyes flicker around the screen as she talks to you, doing what she does best. 

“Nothing to live for.”  Derek’s looking a little too pointedly at Aaron for your taste, but your evaluation is interrupted. 

“So why hasn’t he killed himself yet?”

Your brain sputters at Aaron’s offhand delivery. “What?”

“Sprees usually end in suicide. If he’s got nothing to live for, why hasn’t he ended it?”

The energy in the room grows uncomfortable, fast. Aaron’s voice is still flat - you might go so far as to say it sounds dead, but that inspires a kind of heavy sullenness in your chest you’d rather not subject yourself to. 

You wish Haley was around for no other reason but to kick his ass. 

You’re thankful for Spencer when he answers Hotch’s question. “Because he isn’t finished, yet. We know he has displaced anger. He took it out on the first victim.”

“Well,” Aaron continues, “the stock boy represents someone. We need to know who.”

You meet Derek’s eyes and you can tell he’s trying to read you - trying to see if you’re as concerned as he is. You don’t give him the satisfaction. 

+++

Later, you corner Morgan on the plane before landing, keeping your voice low. The case is in your lap so there’s a valid distraction when you need one. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

He stops and turns. “I thought Hotch was cleared to drive.” 

“He is.”

“Then why did you pick him up this morning?”

You shrug. “I wanted to.” His eyes bore into the side of your head and you look up with an exasperated huff. “What?”

He sighs. “He’s only had a month off.”

“Well,” you say, aware that you’re being pedantic before you even get there, “thirty-four days. That’s a little more than a month.”

His stare is withering, but you’re impervious. “And you think that’s long enough?”

“Are you asking me as his coworker or as his friend?”

“Is there a difference?”

You shrug. “Maybe.” Yes. “But if you don’t think he’s had enough time, you should tell him.”

He scoffs. “No thanks. I like my job.”

“You like him more.” A little smile crosses your face. “Though, I know you don’t like to think so.”

“No. I like you.” Derek corrects. “He also happens to like you, so I tolerate him for your benefit.”

“Much appreciated.” You return to your work, but Derek’s eyes linger. You don’t look up as you ask, “What?”

“What if he has PTSD?”

Still writing, you answer with a general air of nonchalance. “He was evaluated.”

“Oh, come on. We wrote those questions. Hotch knows exactly -“

You slam your pen down and lean back with your arms crossed. You draw Spencer's eyes and lower your voice again. “So, what? Are you going to pick at me until you get me to say something you want me to say?” You let out a sardonic chuff, settling back to work. “If that’s the case, you’re gonna be here a while.” You tip your head a little toward the little table by the window. “Your coffee’s getting cold.”

You admittedly feel a little bad for being short with him, but everything seems to be testing your patience today. 

And if you’re honest, you’re worried about Aaron, too. 

After a few minutes of work in silence, you call out to him again. There’s the smallest of apologies in your voice. “Derek?”

He looks at you, dark eyes open and yielding - concerned and forgiving. “Yeah?”

“He’s back because he has to be. He needs to know we’re here for him.”

“He knows that.”

You offer him a small smile. “Don’t let him forget it.” You pause, your head wavering a little bit as your tone turns a touch facetious. “I can’t do all the heavy lifting around here.”

You get a laugh out of him - just a little one - and it’s enough. “Don’t push it, kid. I remember when you were dead weight.”

You roll your eyes. 

That’s enough, for now. 

+++

Even your seemingly-endless patience with Aaron rapidly wanes as you spend more time at the crime scene. It’s frustrating. 

“He was on an antipsychotic?” You ask with a little frown. 

The pharmacist nods. “Well, that’s why I wanted him to calm down. He’s been off of them at least a month, now.” 

“And when were you going to tell us this?” Aaron asks, harsh and sharp. 

You look at him, your frown deepening. 

What the fuck is that attitude?

“He’s armed, he’s delusional. Who’s his doctor?” Hotch’s tone grows even pointier, somehow, as he pushes harder. 

“I don’t remember - my computer…” She gestures behind the desk, where the computer has been fried by a bullet. 

“Great. That’s great.” He walks away, already making a call. 

“Excuse us,” you say in an attempt to recover. Derek echoes you and you try to avoid running after Hotch as he strides down the aisle. 

Long-legged asshole. Slow down. 

“Hotch,” you call. He doesn’t listen. 

“Call JJ and tell her about the meds.” He’s still walking. You’ve caught up. 

Derek chimes in, gesturing back at the pharmacist. “This is not her fault.”

Aaron turns on him. “Morgan, he’s in a psychotic break. It changes everything.”

“You want to talk about this?” Derek asks, taking another step closer. 

Squaring up to Derek’s shoulder, you’re ready to pull them apart if they get really heated. 

Wouldn’t be the first time.

In some ways, Morgan’s admission on the plane was truer than he let on. You are the link between Derek and Aaron, almost like a balm. You see things in them that they can’t see in each other. It helps. 

With a pang, you think of Haley, for some reason. 

You miss her. 

“No.” Aaron’s interruption is sharp and it startles you out of your thoughts. “I want to find him - Garcia,” he turns, continuing on his warpath forward, “he’s been off his antipsychotic for a month. What else did you miss?”

Your mouth drops open and Derek’s about to deck Aaron while his back is turned. You push in front of Derek, getting between them to give him a chance to cool off. The last thing you want is to handle more wound dressings - for either one of them. 

Aaron hangs up and walks out after what you imagine is a rather unilluminating update from Penelope. You turn, putting your hand on Derek’s shoulder and looking him in the eye. 

Still think he’s alright? His eyes ask.

 You grit your teeth. I don’t know. 

+++

The psychiatrist and patient lay dead on the floor, Call nowhere in sight. Derek directs the local officers to check the perimeter, just in case. 

You look at Hotch, who still doesn’t look completely checked in, himself. 

Or maybe he looks too checked in?

I don’t know. 

You’d be lying if you said his behavior didn’t freak you out. Though he’s standing beside you, you miss him. 

Come back to me. 

You miss the man who pliantly sat under your hands as you washed his wounds and brought him takeout and forced him to take naps in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. 

You miss the man who fought you for the remote and stole far too many of your fries, who would change the channel if you made the mistake of going to the bathroom on a commercial break. 

That man was with you as late as Saturday. Returning has brought something else out in him, the part of him that spent (often very) late nights looking for Foyet has risen to the forefront. 

“We’re too late.” 

Before the rest of you can do anything, Aaron leaves the room, pushing past Dave in his haste to leave. 

Emily calls after him, but he’s long gone down the hallway. They look at you. 

All you can do is shake your head with a downturned curve of your mouth. 

+++

After a little while, you go downstairs and find Hotch outside. Before you can say anything - 

“I should have seen the blinking on the video.” 

You huff at him. “Hotch, it could have been a nervous tic. You couldn’t have known - none of the records were available, yet.” 

“But it wasn’t a tic. It’s a classic sign of long-term antipsychotic use, and I missed it.”

You step in front of him, squarely meeting his eyes. “We all missed it.” 

He’s got another pessimistic jab that you choose to ignore just before Emily and Dave arrive with news from Garcia. 

Oh, Aaron. 

+++

The officer huffs. “I don’t care why he took him.” 

Aaron had, once again, escalated the situation with local police. Tensions are high, and you only hope he can get his shit together at some point. “You should.” 

Goddamn it, Aaron. 

He continues, advancing on the police captain. “Call’s memory is no longer suppressed. He’s reinventing his past and unless we understand how, we’re not going to find either of them.”

“Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and speculate.” 

It’s an old-fashioned Western standoff, now. 

Who’s Clint Eastwood?

Well, Hotch has the looks but -

Quit. 

Fine. 

“Then don’t.”

The captain turns to you, Emily, and Dave. “You don’t think we should chase him either?”

“We need to get ahead of Call,” Dave answers evenly. 

The captain looks at Aaron once more before storming off. The rest of you approach Hotch, and Emily’s a little frustrated when she reminds him, “There’s a kid missing.” 

“They don’t need the extra manpower.” 

You squint at him. “Since when?”

“If we had studied Foyet’s initial crimes -”

Oh for the love of fuck. 

“- we would have known that a survivor didn’t make sense.”

“What does he have to do with this?”

Great question, Emily.

“All we had to do was stop and look at Foyet’s history. But we didn’t, and we lost two couples and a bus full of people. I am not making that mistake again.” He leaves the three of you stunned in his wake. After a moment, you follow him. 

You always do. 

+++

“Let’s go.” 

You’ve got the address to the unsub’s home and you take the car with Aaron, the rest of the team following behind you. 

He drives fast, but that’s nothing new. He throws the siren and floors it. You call SWAT yourself, getting Derek prepared for staging. 

When you get out of the car, you throw your vest on, helping Emily with the straps across her shoulders before she can reach them themselves. 

“Prentiss,” Aaron says, putting his earwig in. “Check in with the lieutenant, see if there’s anything we can use.” 

She nods. “Yes, sir.” 

“You good?” You ask, looking over at him. 

“Yeah, I’m good.” 

You throw your head to the side, and he takes your flank as you get closer to Emily. Her briefing with this particular lieutenant could go sideways, but you don’t want to leave him feeling trapped. 

“...The kid’s in there. We got this. Tactical teams are covering the exits. He’s still focused on the old man.”

Emily squints, adjusting her comm. “For now, but we’re gonna have to figure out the safest way to get that kid out.”

“I’ve got a team in the back and one on the way. We’re going to infiltrate.” 

“You do that and someone else dies.” The balance of firm and collaborative rests delicately on her tone. She’s doing well. 

“Either Call or a child murder. Flip a coin.” 

His tone frustrates you, but you leave Emily to her devices, checking your magazines for the third time. Your sidearm is in place, as is your backup. 

“It doesn’t have to end like that. We get a confession out of Jarvis and he goes away, and Call gets his answers. No one else has to die.” She pauses, and a streak of white flashes in your peripheral. “Hotch!” 

You whirl, ready to sprint after him as he walks decisively past the rest of you, past the gate, and into the house. After a moment’s hesitation, you make a break for it. A wall of arms stops you, and you know Derek’s behind you when you hear, “What the hell is he doing?”

No vest...Is he even carrying his gun? 

“Let him go.” 

You turn on Dave, your face plastered with fear and fury. “What do you mean let him go. Rossi -”

“I’m not letting him go in there solo.” Derek pushes against Dave again, but to your surprise, he’s locked in tight. 

“We have to trust him.” 

That cools Derek off, but not you. You thrash, freeing yourself from one of the local cops. “The hell we do.” 

“Kid - wait, no.” The roles reverse, and Derek catches up to you and locks you in his arms before you can breach the perimeter. Your elbows don’t land against his vest, but you sure try. “You’ll get him killed.” 

There’s only stress and silence as you stop struggling. All you can do is wait. 

Derek keeps his arm around you, but you almost feel like the contact is for both of you. You take deep breaths, trying to slow your heart rate. It’s through the roof. 

“What’s he doing?” Emily asks into her mic. 

Dave leans into his comm. “Stalling.” 

You can almost feel Derek’s jaw tightening. “He has nothing to lose.” 

He has everything to lose. 

You have everything to lose. 

Don’t be a hero, Aaron. Don’t do anything stupid. 

You hope that he can hear you somehow. 

Too late. 

Hotch appears in the window, followed by the boy. 

There’s a quick SWAT conversation in your ear. 

“Do you have the shot?”

“Negative, negative.”

He’s blocking the shot. 

Goddamn you, Aaron. Goddamn you. 

“Bringing the boy out,” a faceless voice on the radio says. The hostage runs down off the porch and you catch a glimpse of Aaron before he disappears behind the door again. 

You turn your head a touch, keeping your eyes on the door. “Get him out of there.” 

Dave shakes his head. “That’s his call.” 

Your body is wound tighter than a coil and you’re not sure if you’re ready to storm in there or just start walking home. 

There’s a gunshot, and you’re out of there like a bat out of hell. You launch yourself over the short fence and attach yourself to the first SWAT agent you see, remembering your training at the last moment. 

You breach the house and find Aaron cuffing Darin, whose father is dead in the armchair in front of him. Your jaw has never been tighter. 

Once you confirm that he is in fact still alive and still only has nine holes in him, you turn on your heel and you storm out of the house. You don’t stop until you’re leaning on the front of one of the cars, trying to catch your breath. Your hands shake and you don’t trust your knees to hold you up. 

The relief wars with something hot and unpleasant, leaving you more exhausted than you’ve been in weeks. 

You keep your head turned away from Aaron as he approaches you. It’s petty, but you also don’t want him to see the fear on your face. 

He calls you with a sigh in his voice and it finally ignites the fear into anger. 

“I can’t fucking believe you,” you spit. Your voice isn’t loud, but it certainly carries. JJ’s eyes flicker to you from the other side of the yard. “What kind of stunt are you trying to pull? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” 

His jaw tightens. “Let’s not do this here.” 

Your brow draws across your eyes and your mouth opens, indignant. “Let’s not do this here? You’re fucking kidding me.”

In his current state, nothing is off the table. His temper is running short and you know you’re capable of pushing him until he breaks. It hasn’t happened yet, but today might be it.  

Much to your surprise, a sigh leaves him, and he knows he’s stepped in it. “It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You scoff, shaking your head. 

His remorse only stokes your anger. Go figure. 

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry. You could have died, Hotch. What you did was so beyond protocol I don’t even know if I should start with the necessity of your life because we need you as our unit chief or the importance of your safety as my friend -” You cut yourself off and look away from him, frustrated you even got that far. 

He has nothing to say to that. You’re completely right. The guilt might as well be written across his face in Sharpie. 

His absence fucked with you, to say the least. It felt awful, empty, in the field without him. And then when you were home - well, back at the apartment, he was only ever in pain. 

Overall, your anxiety regarding his health and safety is riding high. 

Much to your frustration, your eyes water, and your lower lip shakes - angry tears an ever-present threat. Your arms cross over your chest. “I can’t even look at you right now.” 

He reaches out for your arm, but you throw him off before he can make contact, turning your head. You stare at the ground, watching him flounder out of the corner of your eye. 

“Go. Go do your fucking job, Hotch.” His nickname is acid in your mouth. It feels like a punishment, a lash of a whip. He doesn’t move, and you turn on him, meeting his guilty brown eyes with your flinty ones. “Go. Make the arrest. They’re waiting on you.” You throw your chin to Derek and Emily, who are indeed waiting for him on the porch with the unsub. 

With another heavy sigh, he turns and rejoins the rest of your team. 

You stay where you are, directing coroner and local law enforcement personnel to relevant staging areas as the crime scene is processed and handled. Aaron’s eyes try to find yours, but you avoid them, focusing on someone, anyone else with crisp professionalism that hardly belies your fear. 

You’ve never been so angry in your life. Even if you have, you can’t remember it feeling this wretched.

+++

He sits beside you on the plane once you’re up in the air and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. The rest of the team sleeps scattered around the cabin, but you suspect that at least one of them is faking it, waiting for some kind of spectacle or spectacular blowup between the two of you. 

You haven’t spoken to Aaron since leaving the crime scene. You drove back to the precinct with Emily and Dave, staying close to JJ and Spencer while you packed your things. There’s a part of you that feels bad for creating what Strauss would call a “hostile work environment,” but the other part can’t bring itself to care. 

You can’t even begin to articulate the fear that coursed through you as you waited for him outside that house. You couldn’t begin to explain the extent of your fear, but after the stabbing and the removal of Haley and Jack from your lives, the prospect of losing him in the field was beyond unbearable. 

It’s frustrating to feel so comforted by his proximity while you’re still so angry with him. The familiarity of it all hardly blunts your anger. If anything, the relief at having him back at your side sharpens your anger into something that scares you. 

The impossibility of it is beyond measure. You’ve known for some time now, but this is the first you’re willing to admit it. 

I love him. 

Fuck.

You love him. You love his son. You love his wife. 

You love the weird look he gets on his face when he has to say “penetration” while he’s delivering a profile. You love the way he tries not to smile when Emily beats Spencer at chess. You love the way he twiddles with pens when he’s thinking or nervous or both. You love that each of his smiles feel like a gift just for you. 

There’s nothing you don’t love about him. 

Except, of course, the way he, with profound idiocy, endangered his life today for no particular reason in addition to his generally asshole-ish behavior. 

“I would say I’m sorry, but I’m sure you know that.” 

You do.

He waits on you, quiet and still. 

You take a deep breath, finally looking at him. “You scared the hell out of me.” 

He nods, his jaw flexing. 

“Don’t do it again.” 

He blinks once, slowly. You know he can’t promise that, but you appreciate his acknowledgment nevertheless. There’s quiet for a moment. 

“Aaron…” You look at him, nothing but concern in your tone. 

He shakes his head. “Don’t.”

“I was just going to say…” You swallow, trying to find better words but coming up short. “We’ll get him.”

+++

Derek’s voice echoes down to the bullpen as you finish up the last few pieces of your paperwork. “I will not stand by and watch this man kill himself.” 

Aaron’s door is closed as he works. You’re not sure if you’re thankful for that, or if you’d rather he hear it. You can’t really hear Dave - not that you’d want to, you’re almost as pissed at him as you are at Aaron - but it doesn’t matter. You know what he has to say. 

Derek’s voice drops lower than you can hear. Dave drops his head. 

Moments later, Derek flies back down the stairs, grabs his jacket, and takes his leave with a cursory goodbye thrown in your direction. Dave returns to his desk and Aaron’s door finally opens. 

You look up as his lights turn off, gathering your things at your desk. With a little sigh that looks a bit like defeat, he stops at your desk. The smugness doesn’t completely leave your tone. “Need a ride?”

Of course, he does. “Please.” 

You rise and walk to the elevators together. In the silence, you tell him, “I’m still really mad at you.” 

A sigh. “I know.” 

+++

You walk him upstairs and take care of the alarm while he removes his suit jacket and throws it over the couch. 

“Do you think Call’s gonna be okay?” You ask, still facing the alarm. 

“I don’t know.”

“He got his answers,” you note, turning to him. “He killed the man who haunted him.” 

His eyes are fixed on a spot on the carpet. “And what else is there?”

“Years of torture.” You both know you’re not talking about Call anymore, but it’s nice to pretend. It gives you the opportunity to say things you wouldn’t - shouldn’t - say to him. “Fear. Grief.”

“Think he’ll get over that?” 

“How could he?” A humorless smile pulls at one corner of your mouth. “But at least he doesn't feel like he’s alone.”

He finally meets your eyes. “He doesn’t have anyone.” I don’t have anyone, his brow says. 

“He has Tommy. He’s not alone.” 

You have me. You’re not alone. 

His brows pull low over his eyes, and you take another opportunity as it comes. “Do you want me to stay again tonight?”

“No, I’m alright.” He takes a little breath and you round the corner, pouring him a couple fingers of whiskey before making a slow, purposeful trek across the room. “Thank you,” he says, taking it. 

“Of course. Anytime.” Now, you both know you aren’t talking about the drink. 

Nevertheless, you pat your pockets for your keys, phone, and various federal paraphernalia, finding them all where they belong. “I should head out, then. Call if you need anything.” 

He nods, watching you with quiet eyes as you close and lock the door behind you. 

+++

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @sageellsworth05​ @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans

[romioneficfest]

Tutor Girl

Title: Tutor Girl Prompt/Day: Day 10 - Movie/TV/Book Fusion Tumblr name:  Rating: T Brief summary: Inspired by One Tree Hill Season 1 Episode 3 - Are You True? Any possible triggering/warning tags: None

Ignoring the vicious pounding in her head, Hermione tapped her wand against the giant pile of musty books, giving them the command to sort themselves into their rightful place. She massaged her temple as she waited for them to finish. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to the end of her shift at the library when she could curl up next to the fire in the Ravenclaw common room with her book before bed.

With her tidying completed, she returned to Madam Pince’s desk to collect her things. Knowing the librarian hated any sort of noise, Hermione gave her a curt nod to say goodbye then threw her far-too-heavy bag over her shoulder before finally leaving.

Although the corridors were already dark, she didn’t have to worry about being caught out after-hours, thanks to her Prefect badge. If she came across Filch as she made her way to the Ravenclaw tower, Hermione could just say she was on rounds. He wouldn’t know any different anyway.

She lit her wand then turned the corner, making her way towards the great staircase. Distracted by the thought of reaching her destination, Hermione didn’t notice the shadow stepping out from behind the suit of armour until it was standing directly in front of her.

“Hey!”

Hermione jumped a mile, placing her hand over her pounding heart as she struggled to maintain her composure. She lifted her wand, ignoring the tremble of the light as she surveyed her assailant; a tall, redheaded Gryffindor.

Growling in frustration, she dropped her wand to her side again and righted her bag before carrying on her way, trying her best to ignore Ron Weasley as he fell into step with her, easily matching her furious pace with his gangly legs.

“Can I help you?” snapped Hermione.

She had no time for the wizard ever since he’d started making her best friend’s life a living hell for wanting to join the Gryffindor Quidditch team this year. Harry had it hard enough as it is, without the added grief from Ron Weasley.

“Well, I hope so. You’re the lucky witch who gets to be my tutor.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t think so, Ron.”

He carried on walking alongside her, frowning at the piece of parchment in his hand. “But you’re Hermione Granger, right?”

She stopped in her tracks, grumbling in frustration as she snatched the paper out of his hands, lifting her wand so that she could read the writing on it better. “I’m sorry. I’m best friends with Harry Potter.”

“Oh, well. My commiserations then,” Ron quipped in return.

Hermione’s eyes rolled so hard, she thought she might have gotten a glimpse of the back of her head. She waved the note at him. “I’ll take this and speak to Professor McGonagall in the morning and see if I can get you assigned to someone else.”

Folding the parchment up neatly, she stowed it in the front pocket of her bag and continued making her way to the staircase, trying to put as much distance in between her and Ron as possible.

“No, no, wait.” He hurried to catch up with her, grabbing her arm to stop her from running away. Goosebumps covered her flesh as his fingers made contact with her skin, although she did her best to ignore the sensation. “There is nobody else. I’d be fine with that if there was—”

“...if there were,” she interjected, unable to stop herself from correcting him. A blush creeped up her neck as soon as she realised what she’d done.

“See, you’re helping me already!” Ron gave her a lop-sided grin. It lit up his ocean blue eyes, even in the darkness of the corridor.

“Look, I can’t help you, and on top of that, I won’t help you. Got it?” Pulling her arm out of his grip, she pushed past him, deliberately hitting him with her shoulder. She bit her lip as pain radiated from the point of contact. Ron was fitter than he looked, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing her aggression hurt her more than it did him.

“Don’t you worry about me, Hermione Granger,” he called after her. “I reckon I’m going to be just terrific. I mean, that’s what getting a T in Potions means, right?”

A rush of guilt washed over her as she hurried away. Although she wasn’t a Hufflepuff, the desire to help was strong, even for an awful wizard like Ron Weasley. But she couldn’t allow herself to get caught up with him, not with everything else going on.

⁂

After a restless night, Hermione sat eating her breakfast alone at the Ravenclaw table. Ron’s words bounced around her head every time she closed her eyes. As a member of the tutor group, it was her job to help students who needed it, and she hated letting someone down. Still, someone like Ernie might still be able to do an okay job with the Gryffindor Keeper, as long as they didn’t clash heads.

To add to Hermione’s anguish, Harry had owled and asked to meet her late last night. The Quidditch team had poured water into his kit bag, drowning all his books and his dry clothes and he was finally at his wits end with them. He wanted to quit, and it took a long time for Hermione to talk him off the ledge.

It was so unfair. He’d done nothing wrong, apart from wanting to join the team all of a sudden. They were short of a seeker anyway, and Harry was good. She just wished there was something she could do to help him.

A flurry of activity at the Gryffindor table caught her eye. The Quidditch team sans Harry were saying goodbye to each other, leaving Ron Weasley, their ringleader, alone to finish his breakfast. The idea hit her like a bludger, and she was up on her feet before she even had the chance to say Blibbering Humdinger.

Slamming the piece of parchment from last night down on the table, Hermione slid into the seat opposite Ron. Her sudden appearance caused him to choke on his toast. Although the thought of him passing away in front of her was very appealing, she wasn’t one for murdering her classmates, however annoying they might be.

Lifting her wand with a sigh, she cast the charm to clear his airway. “Anapneo.”

Ron thumped his chest then took a huge swig of pumpkin juice. When he finally recovered, he flashed her that huge lop-sided grin again. “Thanks for that. What are you doing here anyway, Tutor Girl? This isn’t the Ravenclaw table.”

“Look, I know you’re struggling in Potions, and you might end up getting kicked off the team if you can’t get your grades up. Snape is super strict, I get it. And if you’re genuine about wanting to learn, then I can help you.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “That’s great! I—”

“I have two conditions,” she interrupted. “One: Harry does not find out about this, ever. Okay?” She waited for his nod before continuing, “And number two, you leave him alone. No more pranks or hazing. Just let him play on the team.”

Ron’s eyes burned into her with an intensity Hermione had never experienced before. It was like he could see into her soul. She resisted every instinct that told her to run away, and fast. Instead, she slid her hands under her legs, and gripped hold of the wooden bench she was sitting on.

Finally, he spoke again. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

Breathing out a long sigh of relief, Hermione relaxed. “Okay, good. Tomorrow morning, seven on the bench outside greenhouse three.” She pushed herself off the bench and smoothed out the wrinkles in her starched grey skirt.

“Wait, why can’t we go to the library to study? Rumour has it you live there when you’re not in class.”

“Oh ha ha. It’s greenhouse three or nothing. Take it or leave it.”

“Alright then.” Ron shrugged. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Seemingly done with the conversation, he continued with his breakfast.

No longer hungry, Hermione hurried back to the Ravenclaw table before anyone else saw them. She abandoned her half-eaten meal, scooped up her things then made her way out of the Great Hall, giving one final backwards glance at Ron, who was smiling to himself as he ate, looking very pleased with himself.

A flutter of excitement filled her belly as she passed into the antechamber and made her way to her first class of the morning. Maybe taking a chance on Ron Weasley might not be so bad after all.

[curlsofsagesmoke]

More Analysis of Leadership in TMNT because I Cannot Be Stopped

(really at this point these are just notes for myself as I work on my really long really ambitious tmnt fic, but this is also kind of a follow up to that first analysis I did of the Leo/donnie leadership plot line.)

I've already discussed Leo and donnie as leaders, but I was thinking about season 3, and there are some really interesting moves that the writers make in terms of Raph maturing as a leader in Northampton (and donnie kind of getting the short end of the stick, but what else is new).

so aside from how poorly the writers handled the Leo/donnie plot, which I discussed in the post I linked above, it seems like the season two finale was meant to be the writers' way of saying "hey look we gave donnie a chance to lead and he fucked up, so now we're gonna pass the mantle onto raph." because raph does slip into the leader role in Northampton.

on the one hand, it's annoying to see donnie's leadership potential get shunted aside yet again. I do think all four of them have the potential to be great leaders if they have the chance to mature and develop their skills, so I'm not mad at raph getting the chance to be a good leader. however, the writer's spent two seasons building up donnie's potential as leader, and, as I've mentioned before, we get no closure from them abandoning this plot line. in the farmhouse arc, donnie (and Mikey!) gets forced into that goofy, slightly less competent younger brother role that we saw most often in season one (regarding the a-team/b-team thing).

on the other hand, I love to see any kind of character development for these characters, because it's so rare for anyone in TMNT (2012) to go through lasting change. like seriously, there is not one single stable character arc in the entire show. and raph does make a pretty good leader! his problem with leading (seen in New Girl in Town) is that he panics under pressure. out at the farmhouse, where the threats aren't as serious as the ones they faced in the city, raph becomes a pretty good leader. he's the one watching over and encouraging Leo, training with April and casey, and attempting to continue donnie and Mikey's training in the forest. he's calmer, seems less angry, and is more mature. we do love to see it.

admittedly, this could've fit in really well with the "donnie as leader" plot started in seasons one and two. the invasion was a huge blow to donnie's pride and it probably did shake his confidence in himself a lot. if the plot line had continued into season three, the farmhouse arc could've been a good way for donnie to kind of recover from the failure that was the invasion. we could've seen him struggle to accept his mistakes and learn to overcome his self doubt, the way that Leo did in season one (many times).

raph becoming the de facto leader could've fit in, too! not only would it have been an obstacle for donnie to overcome (aka accepting that just because raph is a good leader on the farm doesn't mean donnie is a bad one in the city) but it probably would've been a good character move for raph, too. raph would've gained a deeper understanding of Leo's burdens and responsibilities, and it's a good way to show how he's matured over the course of two and a half seasons.

and the vision quest episode (kind of the only episode in the whole farmhouse arc where anyone undergoes any kind of serious character development) would've been sick as hell if this plot was continued. because as it stands, vision quest doesn't make a whole lot of sense. they all have challenges to overcome, but the writers tried to force the characters back into the roles they occupied in season one. donnie needed to learn to use his strength as well as his mind, raph needed to learn to control his temper, mikey needed to learn to focus, and Leo needed to overcome his injury (which the splinter-ghost implies is a mental/spiritual block that Leo put in his own path).

but that doesn't make any sense! it's been two and a half seasons at this point, and there should've been more nuanced challenges. Raph's temper in season three isn't nearly as bad as in season one, and it doesn't make sense for him to have to go through that whole learning moment again. same with mikey and his focus; yes he's still immature and easily distracted, but not nearly as much as in season one. donnie's strength challenge is dumb, too, because it's not strength that allows him to defeat tiger claw---it's leverage, which is more of a mental victory than a physical one. and don't even get me started on Leo. "pain is all in your head" is quite possibly the worst lesson in the history of fiction. Leo went through serious trauma and almost died, and splinter-ghost expected him to simply ignore it, as if it was like doubt holding him back? he need physical therapy, not to have to fight a giant shredder in some kind of weird spirit world.

imagine this instead. Mikey's challenge is stillness. he doesn't have a problem focusing when he needs to, but he's a very physical person, and he needs to learn to use his head: to calm himself down, to be still, etc. etc. Raph's challenge is similar. he needs to learn to control his emotions; not just anger, but also his panic and anxiety. he needs to pull himself back into the moment when he gets overwhelmed and prevent himself from panicking when things go wrong. donnie's challenge is confidence. after the invasion, understandably he's shaken and he's probably having trouble trusting himself as a leader, so he needs to learn to accept failure and trust his skills and his instincts. and Leo's challenge is patience. at the farmhouse he gets frustrated really easily by how slowly he's healing, and in the invasion he lost his patience really fast when he and donnie fought. during the vision quest he needs to learn to have patience with himself and not push his limits too far.

I don't even have a conclusion for this little rant. at this point I'm just salty about the writing in the show---not that the writing is straight up bad. it just seems like the writers didn't care about the characters enough to include character depth, character arcs, or meaningful relationships between the characters when they were writing the show. but I guess that's why I'm writing that fic; if you can see the problem, you can fix it, and boy do I see a lot of problems.

[nathanknowsitall]

Jealous

Summary: You were going to tell Tom today that you had a crush on him, but he went to the club with the boys instead.

Notes: This is dedicated to people who can’t help but be a little jealous sometimes. It gets to the best of us. <3

For some odd reason, you had decided that today was going to be the day you told Tom that you liked him. Or, more accurately, that you had always found him attractive, always wanted to always be around him, and are in love with him. But that didn’t happen.

When you went over to Tom’s house that afternoon, he had been mid-conference call, so you had made yourself comfortable on the couch and decided to watch something on his big TV, trying to distract yourself from what you were going to tell him and all the doubts you had spinning around in your mind.

A couple episodes in, Tom came out dressed in a tight black shirt and some jeans that fit him in all the right places. You tried to ignore the sudden heat that came into your cheeks as Tom raised his brow at you while you squirmed.

“You know, if you’re warm you can turn the A/C up darling? No need to suffer when you’ve got Spider-Man money”, he said with a wink as he went to turn the A/C up, while you rolled your eyes as you tried to compose yourself.

“What are you all dressed up for?”, you asked instead of trying to come up with a witty retort. 

“Me and the boys are going out clubbing tonight actually...trying to cure the dry spell if you know what I mean...”, he said winking again and sticking his tongue out, pretending to be a proper fuckboy as you laughed and tried to ignore the jealousy in the pit of your stomach. 

Tom then turned and looked at you, as if he was really checking you out. 

“You’re dressed up nice, are you going somewhere? On a date or something? Someone from Tinder? No...Bumble?”, he teased as you tried to ignore the way your throat dried up. 

I was hoping I would be going on a date with you, you div, you thought as you looked down at the outfit you had picked out with him in mind. A casual dress with some heels. 

It’s fine, I could do this tomorrow? Or the day after that? Or never?

“No, no, just...I don’t know? Felt like it, I guess?”, you shrugged as Tom looked at you curiously. He looked as if he wanted to ask you more, but then there was banging at the door, probably the boys. 

“Hey!”, the boys yelled as they barged into Tom’s home.

“Hey pretty girl!”, Harrison said as he hugged you, pulling you close. He knew that Tom hated when he flirted or got close with you, but he loved teasing Tom when he got jealous. 

“I didn’t get to tell him”, you whispered sadly into Harrison’s shoulder. Harrison was one of the only people you had told about your apparently “very obvious crush” on Tom and had been a really helpful part of your plan to tell Tom that you loved him. Well, failed plan.

“Well, if Tom doesn’t see what a dream girl you are, I think I might snatch you up!”, he teased. You felt your mood lighten slightly as you both giggled.

You greeted the rest of the boys with hugs and they all made a point of complimenting you on how nice you looked just to see Tom get jealous.

“That dress fits you so good, Y/N! You should wear more of them!”

“You look so gorgeous, I still can’t believe you’re single!”

“Maybe you guys should go, I’ll just stay here and snuggle with Y/N...”

“That’s enough of you lot for tonight!”, Tom said, obviously pissed, as the rest of the boys giggled at the outburst. You turned your head, eyebrow raised at Tom, as his face turned into one of panic. I just exposed myself!, Tom thought as he tried to recover from what he said.

“Do you want to go out with us tonight, Y/N?”, Tom said softly, coming to hold your hands in his. 

You felt so many emotions in that moment. Your heart was beating so fast as you tried to process what he had just asked you. Your heart hurt so bad from not being able to tell him that you liked him. You were so confused about his sudden outburst. You definitely did not want to see him getting all gooey-eyed over someone else. 

“I think I’ll stay here, if that’s alright with you?”, you said as you resolved yourself to watching romcoms on Netflix and trying to recover from the fatal emotional blow that was today.

“But, baby-no-Y/N”, Tom rambled while you looked at him confused.

“Baby?”, you questioned as the boys looked between you two with wide eyes.

“No, no, I meant Y/N! Y/N, are you sure?”, Tom said with big puppy dog eyes. You rolled your eyes in fake bashfulness.

“No, I’m fine, I had a hard day I want to stay here.”

“Okay then...make yourself comfortable and we’ll get going”, Tom hesitantly.

“Okay, bye! Have fun!”, You said as you put on something on Netflix while they headed out the door. 

                                                              -

“Tom, why are you so sad? You’ve been sad ever since we left the house mate, what’s going on?”, Harrison said as he sat down next to Tom in the booth the boys had decided to occupy for tonight. 

Tom just shook his head, “Nothing...nothing at all.”

“Well you don’t have to lie so blatantly if you’re going to bother lying to me. I know it’s about Y/N.”

“What about Y/N?”, Tom said, faking naivety. 

“I’m asking the questions here Tom. Why are you not enjoying yourself right now?”.

“I don’t know...I kind of just want to go home.”

“To be with Y/N?”.

“No, it’s just not fun here.”

“Oh really? ‘Cause it sure seems like they’re having fun over there”, Harrison said as he nudged his head over where Harry and Tuwaine were dancing with people and seeming to have the time of their life. Tom giggled as he took another sip of his beer, avoiding Harrison. 

“So?”, Harrison questioned.

“So...what?”, Tom shot back. 

“Are you going home or?”.

“Why would I go home mate? You’re being ridiculous Harrison. I came here to have fun, so let’s have fun!”, Tom said with false enthusiasm.

“No, you’re going home right now and I’m driving you”, Harrison said as he practically dragged Tom out of the club and into the parking lot.

“Mate, what are you doing?”, Tom exclaimed as he got his hand loose.

“I have a secret to tell you and I can only tell it to you if you get in the car.”

“Are you serious Harrison?”

“I’m dead serious. Get in the car.”

“Okay, fine, but I did it because I’m nosy”, Tom says as he gets in the car.

“Whatever you need to say...”, Harrison said as he started the car and started driving. After a couple of minutes of silence, they came to a petrol station and Harrison stopped.

“What?”, Tom says, thinking that his best mate just went absolutely bonkers.

“What?”, Harrison said nonchalantly as he turns off the car. 

“What is going on? What are you going to tell me? Why are we outside of a petrol station? I’m dying here, man.”

“Well...I’ll only tell you if you promise not to tell Y/N”, Harrison said as he held out his pinky.

“Okay...”, Tom said as he offered his pinky and promised.

“Okay, now that’s settled...Y/N is in love with you. Absolutely, completely, and totally head over heels for your ass. I feel sorry for her because you’re so oblivious, but I digress. She was going to tell you that tonight but then that got messed up by...I guess the boys, including me and-I’m sorry but how did you not notice it before? It was so obvious?”, Harrison said very seriously with frustration as if the answer was so obvious. 

Tom had absolutely paid no attention since Harrison said Y/N was in love with him. His crush since forever ago liked him back? The person he always dreamed of but thought he could never have liked him back? Y/N loved him?

“Tom! You div!”, Harrison said as he snapped in front of Tom’s face, startling Tom. Tom looked at Harrison with the most vulnerable, weak face, ever.

“Really?”, Tom said with excitement and nerves in his voice.

“Yes, really Tom! Now go into that petrol station and buy Y/N snacks so you can go home and spend your night watching movies and having the time of your life with them!”, Harrison said as he practically shoved Tom out of the car. 

                                                             -

You heard keys started to jangle and the door open and you ran to go hide in the kitchen, knowing that it was probably the boys coming back with their one night stands. You went looking for something to eat but you still felt jealousy still in the back of your mind knowing that Tom will never want you in the same way.

“Darling, why do you look so sad?”, Tom said as he stood looking at you from the doorway of the kitchen.

“Tom what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out partying? Where are the boys?”, you said as you tried to wipe the tears away.

“Well, I decided that I’d much rather be here with you, that’s all. And I got us some snacks”, Tom said as he held up the grocery bag he had before putting it on the counter, “But I want to know why you’re crying, love”.

You bit your lip for a second before you decided to just go for it.

“Tom, I felt jealous thinking that you were going to sleep with someone when I’d much rather have you here with me. I always want you in my life and I just want us to be together. I love you so much and I absolutely understand if you don’t feel the same way. I won’t be mad at-”, you stopped as you realized that Tom was standing extremely close. 

“Do you really mean all of that?”, Tom said earnestly as he looked between your eyes and your lips over and over again, while you did the exact same. 

“Yes.” 

With a simple word, he kissed you and you felt all of the jealousy melt away. 

[my-tourettes-journey]

alright so im actually being sappy for once

you guys remember a couple days ago when i said there was stuff doing on i wasn't ready to talk about (which is genuinely concerning honestly because i overshare way too much, so any time i dont talk about something thats when people should be concerned lmao)?

yeah well. here we go. this is gonna be a really deep post and honestly im nervous so im just gonna jump right into it

TW: Eating disorders, general self hate, delusions(?), paranoia, very long post

so, i ended up in the hospital middle of april. i had been having some mental health episodes where i pretty much mostly believed that i was in a simulation, and the only way to get out was to die. this made me end up in the emergency room, but i was let out that night (literally 1 in the morning), as i was too terrified to go back into a mental hospital (i have had very traumatic experiences with hospitals - the first one i ever went to actually just got shut down due to patient right violations).

a day went by and i was in sort of a hazey depressive state. i really don't know how to describe it, i just didnt feel like me. the day after that i decide to go out for a drive as i hadn't been out of the house for three days because i was staying home from school so my parents could make sure i was safe (this happens a lot so it wasn't shocking). so, i went out for a drive. i felt fairly okay when i left, but somehow i ended up back in an episode and i found myself driving in complete silence for hours trying to "find a way out" of the "simulation" i thought i was in. i never found it. shocker.

that episode slowly turned into paranoia, which i've only really started struggling with recently (i've had the delusional-type episodes for years now, but they've never been this bad). i'll leave out some details as it does get to the point where i honestly don't want to put that information online, but somehow i ended up parking at my favorite park and just staring at nothing. for three hours. my family was trying to contact me, but i thought they were going to hurt me, so i didn't text back. eventually they found me, and they convinced me to let them take me to the hospital. again.

this time i didn't really go back to normal as fast as i did before, and my parents were afraid that if i went home something else would happen. so i was put into another mental hospital. this was my 4th time in a mental hospital, and literally all of my other experiences with them were horrible, so needless to say i was fucking terrified. turns out, they were actually really good! the staff were nice and the place actually looked pretty good. i was let out about a week later.

now you would think i would start getting better after i got out. i wish.

i mean, technically i was doing better in the delusional-paranoid aspect of things, but something just didn't feel right. i just felt off. two days later, my mom mentions something about some levels in my blood being off and that it can be caused by not exercising and that just flipped a switch in me. literally the instant she said that i just went down a very dark hole (not blaming my mom at all, she didn't do this on purpose).

see, i already didn't have a very healthy relationship with my body or food, seeing as i literally had just recovered from ARFID a couple months ago, but on top of that there was this whole other layer of thoughts that i hadn't told anyone, literally ever. since 2018 i've suffered with feeling guilty from eating, i genuinely felt like i didn't deserve the food i got and i didn't like the way i looked. i was very skinny at the time due to ARFID struggles, and people really liked to comment on how tiny i was.

once i started gaining weight when i recovered from ARFID, the thoughts of hating my body and the guilt from eating just got so much worse. there was a time where i actually went to great measures which i will not name just because i wanted to be skinny again. and i didn't really know why i wanted to be so skinny, because i knew that being fat wasn't a bad thing, fat people are beautiful. i just had this thought in my head that i was literally hideous and ugly and the only way to make myself pretty was to be skinny, even though i thought everyone else regardless of weight or shape was perfect.

i was doing fine for a while, but then my mom told me about that blood level thing and it all came crashing down. i literally would run for two hours straight every single day for a week, to the point where i physically can't walk down stairs because my legs hurt so bad, and i have shin splints. i stopped eating, i only really ate when i had to.

after a little over a week of this, i caved and finally told my closest friends about what was going on. they were there to support me, but i knew that there was only so much they could do.

since then, i've just struggled immensely with body image and food. like, immensely. it's literally all i can think about all day every day.

but, last saturday i decided that no matter what, no matter how many times i fell down and struggled to eat, i would try again, try to take another bite, and try to heal my relationship with food and my body.

so, yeah. im sorry for the book, but i genuinely want to be open about mental health online (at least when no one knows who i really am lmao). i want people to know they're not alone, and i want people who aren't suffering with these problems to know about them.

anyway. that's what i've been going through recently. i may not be posting much, if at all, honestly, for the next while. but i know that eventually i will overcome this, i just have to keep getting back up every time i fall.