#why haven't i done this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spiderman2099sleftnipplepiercing · 2 months

Text

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVEN'T DRAWN THEM CUDDLED UP IN BED!?

Gurl I'm mad at myself. 😭 Maybe poses shouldn't be hard- backgrounds I'm looking at you too....

#lawrusso #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #karate kid #my babiiiiiiies #why #why haven't i done this #what am i even doing #cuddling & snuggling #poses #i need references #....yeah

8 notes · View notes

andthebeanstalk · 1 year

Text

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

17K notes · View notes

riotrhea · 3 months

Text

2017 -> 2024

Butchness is about becoming, lesbianism is about growth, life is about transitions.

Take up your space.

#yeah why not i haven't done a post like this in AGES #seven years man...whewie...#seven years since i CAME OUT and then. god i always knew. one of them tragic little girls crying in the mirror.#what a fucking life! time for pizza #girlslikeus #lesbiansafe #also just unfortunate that many of my old photos are gone.

2K notes · View notes

dragondawdles · 2 months

Text

did a piece in the LU server's gift exchange ! something of survival and reunions and smug little shadowguys

1K notes · View notes

fandom-geek · 8 months

Text

i think the thing that really gets me about pre-canon durge is their absolute sense of duty, and their utter isolation outside of the cult of bhaal.

most of the cultists seem eager to see durge upon their return, and one even says they were the first to feed him flesh. gortash tells them of an exhibition of a bhaalspawn's corpse and another bhaalspawn's creations and durge immediately plans to attack the hall of wonder to recover them. they then apparently entrust said bhaalspawn's corpse to sceleritas fel to "restore" through taxidermy. they deride orin for her artistry with corpses explicitly because "bhaal will never care" and because orin "[does] not understand lord bhaal".

even their infamous prayer for forgiveness is framed around their absolute submission to bhaal's plans, and the crime that requires forgiveness? admiring his rival's chosen. that's one line, and the next three paragraphs are swearing to carry out his plan exactly as they've been told to, all for his forgiveness.

hell, even their room reinforces this. orin has barely touched the place aside from installing her mother's corpse and her manifesto - and that is some of the only decoration. what was it before orin, an empty room with skulls, a bed, a desk, some chests and a wardrobe?

the durge didn't have any semblance of a life outside of bhaal, aside from gortash. and is it any surprise? the only other hint they ever had a life outside of the cult is the flashback of kid durge murdering their adopted family, all thanks to their father's urging.

bhaal even tries to force them back into isolation after they've been tadpoled by forcing them to kill alfira, and then trying to force a durge who resists him to kill their lover. if they continue resisting, bhaal kills them. bhaal will not allow them to have a life outside of him and, if it weren't for jergal, he would've succeeded.

#bg3 spoilers #the dark urge #honestly writing this all out it's weird that bhaal doesn't try to kill your party when you're at the temple #it'd be perfectly in line with everything else he'd done to durge up until that moment #also just makes me think of how sceleritas will tell an evil durge that the worst thing they've ever done #is giving a beggar a coin without asking for anything in return #ymmv and everyone has their own headcanons but pre canon durge was not a happy or enthusiastic participant as far as canon shows #which is reinforced by gortash saying you've always been better at controlling your urges than orin!#why would durge bother to do that when 'all father wants is death in droves death in numbers'!#honestly i think it's v reasonable to think that durge could've been tempted into bane worship given what little we know of them pre canon #anyway haven't played evil durge myself so very curious abt any insights from that route #baldur's gate

2K notes · View notes

theartingace · 12 days

Text

so I saw one interesting comic about a podcast and accidentally have been binging it for nearly a week straight, it had me thinking of nothing else within 30 seconds of episode 1, Love this poor sad dishrag of a man and his poetry loving passenger <3

#Malevolent #malevolent fanart #malevolent podcast #it turned into a face bookcover cause why not #I was just trying to nail down his face #and suddenly #the first full painting I've done in months #the hyperfixation is strong with this one #I haven't checked the tag yet cause I'm trying to avoid spoilers #at least a little bit #just got past coda #poor arthur #character sketches to follow

569 notes · View notes

micamicster · 3 months

Text

Your boss is quite the card player. How does he do it? He cheats.

The Sting (1973) dir. George Roy Hill

#the sting #perioddramaedit #thestingedit #classic hollywood #robert redford #paul newman #i fucking love gay people put me on some salad dressing #wait why can't i find that paul newman post it is IN my brain i say it to myself all the time but i haven't seen it in years #anyway shout out to paul newman salad dressing post #ok im done now making bad gifs this was fun <3

247 notes · View notes

spicyet · 2 months

Text

Victorian Fantasy AU

Crown Prince of Wa, Nakamoto Toshiro; Still struggles to make allies, even after learning Western customs and changed his way of dress... But, his western teacher, Laios, doesn't give him much room, nor time to feel like a failure. So things aren't too bad.

#laishuro #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #nakamoto toshiro #shuro #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #sam's doodles of the day #haven't done much with this AU for a bit #Since I haven't decided if it'd be funner to draw or write this AU #YES I HAVE LIKE.... 4 LAISHURO FICS IN THE WORKS AND HERE I GO THINKING OF ADDING A 5TH #Anyways... Toshiro stood around like a nerd realizing he had to ask someone to dance #only for most people to avoid him or have partners already so... Naturally Laios sees him and is like nOOOO WHY AREN'T YOU HAVING FUN?!?!?#Laios went from 'maybe i'll make a new friend by fighting him and impressing him with my skills' to #'Okay so he's definitely too good of a fighter for me to impress him.. so I'll help him make friends instead!'

239 notes · View notes

squiddlysq · 2 months

Text