#why is the fandom your priority when it comes to criticism? It sounds like the issue lies in the way the story was written as opposed to fan

[theweeklydiscourse]

It’s a bit funny when ATLA fans who are so deeply attached to the show blame the fandom for the problematic elements of the actual text. They’ll say: “You missed EVERY message that the writers included! I can’t believe that you’re unable to understand the deliberate messages woven into the show!” And then the “message” in question will be a flaw they noticed in the text, an unresolved narrative issue, or an instance of the writers’ biases seeping through the story.

I just wish that certain fans would consider the idea that perhaps the writers were not as all-knowing as they thought they were and that those gaps manifested in the story. Blaming fandom for misinterpreting the story (according to your own interpretation of it) is so ridiculous and indicative of the reluctance to critique a beloved childhood show. ATLA was ahead of it’s time in a number of ways, but we have to stop acting like it is beyond reproach.

[s1rcus]

The Future Generations [4/?]

Rating: Mature

Words:   2203

Fandoms: Overwatch

Relationships: Moira O'Deorain/Angela “Mercy” Ziegler  

Characters: Moira O'Deorain, Angela “Mercy” Ziegler  

Additional tags: Trans Angela “Mercy” Ziegler, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Kid Fic, Eventual Sex, Fake Science, POV Moira O'Deorain

Summary: Angela comes to Moira with an interesting proposal one late evening which makes the two start working closely together in secret.

Story below the cut or in AO3 here

Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter

Moira managed to avoid Angela as well as a person can avoid a coworker for four days before her hand terminal pinged with a message from Reyes.

Conference room 3. ASAP

As she arrived she saw that both Morrison and Reyes were present along with Amari, Angela and Lindholm. It was basically all of her higher-ups and she felt like she'd been called to the principal's office if it wasn't for the mood in the room. The mood was somber in a way.

"O'Deorain, perfect, take a seat," Morrison spoke.

Morrison and Reyes were seated at the other side of the table to Angela and Lindholm. Amari had decided to stand it seemed as she stood by Morrison's side. Moira pulled out a free chair from the other side of Angela and sat down giving her a quizzical look. Angela just gave her a sad smile. 

"Doctor Ziegler says you could have some good input to her current assignment. We know you have your own work and prefer to work alone so we wouldn't have asked you to come here, if Angela wouldn't have convinced us that your input really would benefit her," Morrison continued after she was properly seated.

"Fair enough. What is this about then?" Moira asked.

"You might've heard of the rumours going around about Amelie Lacroix for the past few weeks. We're sad to announce that they've been true and we got her back a few days ago. Last night though she attacked her husband as he slept and fled. Gerard has been in critical condition ever since," Morrison explained.

Jeez. That explains the odd mood.

"Why don't you just resurrect him with the staff?" She asked.

"It's not working. Or well the healing isn't working on him so I doubt that would and we'd need to let him die first and if we do that there's no coming back," Angela explained.

"What do you mean it's not working? That thing is supposed to be fool proof."

"I don't know. She clearly did something that blocks it from working. First we're gonna save Lacroix and then we're going to figure out what it is that's making my staff not work and fix it." Angela sounded desperate. This really was serious.

"So what's your plan?"

"I don't really have one. But I do know that I need you. We'll have to first figure out what's stopping the healing process. It seems like his system disables nanites or something. If Talon has this sort of technology we need to figure out a way to surpass it before it becomes a problem."

Morrison cleared his throat and both women fell silent again turning their attention back to him.

"I take it both of you understand that this is a sensitive matter and it can't reach the ears of anyone outside of this room and the select few medical personnel who have been assigned to work with Angela on this."

Moira nodded in response.

"Alright. Dismissed."

Both Moira and Angela got up from their seats. Moira gave one last glance at Reyes. He gave her a very minimal head shake. She was not going to be able to get out of this and this was to be her top priority for now. Morrison seemed deeply worried and for the first time she felt like she was seeing Reyes show any emotion as he placed a hand on his shoulder. She turned around and followed Angela out of the room. 

Angela was already halfway to the lift when the door clicked shut behind Moira. A deep breath to calm her irritation over the situation and Moira caught up with her easily with her long strides.

Angela fidgeted with her sleeve as she waited for the elevator. This had clearly taken its toll on her and Moira wanted desperately to ask how she was doing. It wasn't her place though. Moira had made it clear to Angela she wanted to keep their relationship professional and asking Angela if she was doing alright would be something she wouldn't have done before.

"I know you have some sort of plan. You always have some idea. So what are we going to do first?" She asked Angela instead as they waited for the lift. 

“We have to identify what they've done and find a way to neutralize it. I've done a couple of tests but nothing has come of them. I was hoping you'd have some ideas.”

“I might. Let me take a look at him and what you have so far. I'm sure I'll figure something out.”

“Thank you. These have been some of the most stressful 8 hours of my life.”

“Of course,” she said even though it's not like she could've done anything else but to comply.

------

As they worked together, Moira found herself accidentally slipping back into their old habit of flirty bickering. It seemed to be an easy way to get Angela to relax and as much as Moira hated to admit it, she was very concerned for Angela's (and the child's) well-being. So getting Angela to relax was important for both of their health. Moira just hated to blur the lines between their personal and professional lives again.

She grabbed a syringe and walked out of the lab with a quick “I need another sample from him”. She needed to get away from Angela for a minute. What she really needed was to go out and smoke but she knew Angela would disapprove of that and then that would be a whole nother thing she would be complaining about to her. So busying herself with Lacroix was the only way out of that lab for now.

Lacroix was situated in one of the small medical rooms they had behind a set of narrow corridors. Arriving at the door, Moira swiped her card and pressed her forefinger onto the reader. The door unlocked with an audible click. From inside the room looked even more sterile than the medbay. A small bed, that Lacroix laid on, was in the middle of the room against the wall. There was numerous medical equipment and lines to various drips hanging around Lacroix’s lifeless body. Only the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor was a reminder of him actually being alive.

The nurse who was currently keeping an eye on Lacroix lifted his gaze from his tablet towards Moira. She nodded to him as a greeting and he did the same before dropping his gaze back to his tablet. Moira scoffed. That was one way to spend your working time but she hoped he at least occasionally glanced at the other screen in the room. Well at least she doesn't need to partake in more human interaction for a little bit.

Moira moved to the left side of Lacroix to be as far away from the nurse (who's name she probably knew but couldn't remember) as she possibly could. She took the blood sample from Lacroix while taking as much time as she possibly could with every step of the process. After she was done with the blood she moved to the cabinets looking for a scalpel. Taking a biopsy and watching what actually happens when she introduces nanobiotics to it should tell her more than just examining some blood. And Angela wasn't around this time to tell her no. She took out a scalpel and suture kit when she found them and laid them out on a nearby table. Then she looked for a petri dish and opened it next to them. After which she tied a mask on and moved to wash her hands.

“You do know how to suture, right?” She asked the nurse.

He raised his gaze from his tablet again and gave her a rough “of course”.

“Great. Then get yourself gloved up and close this after I'm done.”

He grumbled in response but started doing as he was told.

------

Moira rubbed her face. She was getting tired and her test results kept being inconsistent. Maybe Angela could make some sense of them. She looked towards Angela who was reading through all their data again. She suddenly jerked and Moira realized she must be tired as well. Moira closed her computer and raised up from her position to stretch. Her back let out an audible pop. Then she gathered the sample she'd been working on and closed the lid on it before taking it back to the refrigerator.

Moira looked at Angela again. The blonde had lifted her glasses on top of her head and she was rubbing her eye with her left hand. Moira sighed, as stubborn as ever it seemed.

“I think it's time we head to bed,” she said more softly than she'd ever admit.

“But-” Angela protested. She'd lowered her glasses back to her nose and was gesturing towards the screen.

“No. Angela, you have to take care of yourself. Now more than ever.” She made her way towards Angela and leaned against her table. Facing the other woman.

“I– alright.”

Moira reached towards Angela's face and for a split second she imagined cupping her cheek and pressing a kiss on top of her head. But instead she grabbed onto Angela's glasses softly and slid them off her face. She folded them and slipped them into the breast pocket of Angela's lab coat. She took Angela's datapad from the table and helped Angela up to stand.

“Alright let's go.”

As Moira guided Angela to the elevator and into it she realized how terribly tired Angela was. In the short time it took for the elevator to arrive she leaned against her side and closed her eyes and the same happened again in the elevator itself. She decided to walk with Angela to make sure she actually got to bed and didn't decide to sleep on the first even surface she saw after getting to her room. When Moira turned with Angela towards her room the blonde let out a questioning sound. 

“I'm taking you to bed.” Angela turned to look at her surprised. “Not like that. I'm just making sure you actually make it to bed. You clearly need a good rest and you won't get that if you crash on your own couch.”

They made their way through the hallways slowly and Moira prayed no-one would be around to see her escorting Angela. If there starts to be rumours she actually has a heart Reyes would never let her forget about it. She's already on thin enough ice with Reyes when it comes to her relationship with Angela. He's been giving her weirdly vague threats on not getting attached to anyone. Hypocrite, she says.

Angela had basically fallen asleep against her by the time they made it to Angela's door. Moira has no clue how on earth the woman walked with her the whole way. She balanced Angela against her side while she tried to unclip the key card with her other hand from Angela's lab coat’s lapel. It would probably be easier if Angela wasn't situated against her dominant side. She still managed to finally get the card and to open the door, which happens to be easier when her free hand was the one by the locking terminal. She toed the door open and half dragged Angela towards her bed, turning on the light on the way. 

Angela immediately collapsed into her bed when they got to it and showed no intention to do anything else. Moira stared at her for a while before starting to unlace her shoes. She pulled the shoes off her feet and placed them neatly next to each other by the door. She turned back toward the other woman, Angela was already sound asleep. Moira glanced around the apartment. It was bigger than hers, not that she was surprised. Angela did outrank her. There was what Moira assumed to be the bathroom past a door near the bed. Opposite the wall from the bed was a small kitchenette. Rest of the space was taken by a small wardrobe, a desk and a chair, a sofa, a TV and a coffee table. The TV also sat on a small bookcase that seemed to be mostly filled with medical journals. There were multiple photos of friends and family littered across all the surfaces. Her gaze dropped back to the sleeping form of Angela. This wasn't going to work and she knew it. She returned to remove her lab coat as well. 

“Goodnight,” she whispered and after a brief thought tentatively placed her hand on Angela's stomach. “To you as well.”

She knew the fetus wouldn't be able to hear her. It was way too small for that. It may be that she wasn't built to become a mother but she couldn't help but to think that this child would be the only one she'll ever have. She was going to be emotionally attached to them no matter what and she knew she'd be so proud of them in the future.

Feeling silly over what she'd just done, Moira pulled the covers over Angela and turned around to leave. She hooked the lab coat to the hook near the door on her way out.

[away-ward]

Hey KO. So guess what? Someone asked PD when will they give us the nightfall book club questions and guess what they replied. " Well no one reads them, you are the only one who asked, I will see what I can do". No one reads them? Seriously no one reads them. Then who am I? A potato? I am so done with PD do they even know their fandom? And I think 😭 now that someone mentioned the questions,they will ruin it. And I agree with your take in the last ask that PD do love Alex, Rika and Damon the most. Even in their FB group if someone says even a teeny tiny thing about them, the admin kicks that person out and behaves as if we insulted the God Almighty.

Seriously there is no criticism for Alex , rika and damon at all BUT it's full of Emory hate and banks hates. Like why the bias?? 😨 and then they say "Emory is my favorite", should I tell them what favorite means? Maybe they are confused.

Also I found something too, on the day nightfall was released there was obviously people were super mad in the group and guess what the admin posts in the group????

The admin posted 2 things , that were-

1. Does Emory deserves Will?

2. Alex is a goat, everyone agrees.

I mean wth??? You are the admin and you are biased too. If someone asks PD about Alex Rika Or Damon they answer EVERYTIME! But never when it's about Banks. What do they have against my girl banks?

Okay so I may have ranted a little, sorry for that.

All I want is 1 willemmy present scene to know how they are doing but I am never getting that now do i. Because they just can't write them happy and being the focus of story.

You know why PD wrote the bonus material in the past? Because we all hate Alex and we are so done with her pick me personality amd no one would buy the book and take a risk because we all know Alex. If there was Alex acting all entitled to will even in the present after 10 and will not doing anything everyone would hate Alex even more and Will to then want Emory to leave him. And that would be another bonus to write.

“Well no one reads them, you are the only one who asked, I will see what I can do". No one reads them? Seriously no one reads them. Then who am I? A potato?

If you’re a potato, then so am I!

No, but seriously? What were they expecting? Discussions to just pop up all over the place for books most people finished 4+ years ago. Most people are only discussing those between their friends, anyway. There was never going to be things popping off all over social media. And can you image how disappointing for any new readers who are using the questions, just to get to the last one and not find any? It seems like such a small thing to do for their faithful readers without caring how well it’s received. And just finish it. There's only one left. . .

The fb group sounds to me to be a bit of an echo chamber, so I don’t expect anything else. I’m confused about a mod/admin letting an echo chamber develop, since it seems to me that preventing that would be a priority, but that’s not for me to figure out. Strong side-eye though. It’s sus. It just is.

Giving everyone a chance to respectfully voice their opinions so an echo chamber doesn’t develop on my end is why I let people say what they will, even if I disagree.

But sometimes fandom is just finding the place where you have a few cool buddies that you share generally the same thoughts or at least can co-exist with your differences. That’s the happy place.

Okay so I may have ranted a little, sorry for that.

No, you’re fine! I get it. This whole scenario is very frustrating, especially as it gets harder to tolerate the favoritism with any grace. It’s a lot. I’m not at all interested in where the fb group goes from here. I’ve never heard anything good coming from the fb group for Nik’s and Emory’s fans. If I ever hear of them denying the favoritism on their end, I’ll lose my mind.

I admit I’m biased! You can too!

But you have to admit…it’s different coming from a reader rather than the author.

I still think the past scene was not to avoid Alex, but just to finish the series with where it started: with the horsemen (and Rika, the only girl who got dialogue in the bonus chapters. even though Emory and Banks were there, they didn't say anything did they?). The series was always focused on their friendship in one way or another, so it makes sense from a writer’s perspective to go back to when it all began. But that’s just my feelings.

Thanks for waiting! Thanks for letting me know they don’t plan on the questions at all. I’ll stop checking. . . shame on me for thinking something will be consistent regarding willemmy.

-KO

[septembersghost]

genuine question and not at all a gotcha or anything, I'm wondering this for myself as well - if/when she splits from the rat, do we go back to normal? is the damage done? I love her and her music so much and don't want to lose that, but I'm hurt right now, so is it hypocritical to want to keep that? to keep posting her? not to sound insane but I don't know what the best choice is here.

there was a post in the sub that touched my heart about how rare it is to see huge groups of women happy and excited together, and i mention it not only because it's sweet, but because i think it's important, and also speaks to why the fandom is upset right now. we love sharing something together and having a community and an escape. we love having something connective and that resonates so deeply for us. and i think we don't want other fans, marginalized women especially, to feel shut out. it's just something to keep in mind about why her music is special to us.

you're asking valid questions for anyone who IS upset, and i don't know the answer. i don't think there is one singular answer, because we're all different and making our own decisions. some people are upset and distancing, some people are upset but still posting content (totally understandable imho because many fans love the community and supporting creators too, and that's a part of the experience. fans make the most beautiful edits/gifs here and it makes me happy to see them, so...do i take that away from myself and those people, and to what end if it doesn't really make a difference? which it doesn't. plus reblogging content isn't monetizing anything. it all comes down to personal choices and comfort levels here), and you know...we're human and nobody's perfect and most of us are trying to have fun in our cozy little online spaces. not posting doesn't necessarily affect anyone but you. is it making you sadder not to? or do you need some time away? any response there is okay.

for the record, i don't expect her to be perfect either! i personally have never demanded political stances from her, as she is a musician and celebrity, she is not an activist. i don't expect any artist (or any human) to be perfect, as i've said before, if i demanded unimpeachable behavior, i couldn't be a fan of anyone ever. no one could. i typically think we should be better at understanding flaws, forgiving mistakes when possible, and lending grace and empathy to people - to each other, to artists, and find the humanity and the good there. there are occasions where that becomes untenable. she is nowhere near that point herself. what fans are struggling with here is a specific disconnect, while the majority of criticism lands on him. it's impossible to say what we'll feel in the future. it's just raw right now.

and yeah, being concerned about this isn't activism. yeah, it's easier to be mad at a singular schmuck than it is to combat systemic oppression or social issues on a wide scale. i don't think anyone voicing an opinion here is confused about that. they're feeling an emotional response to gross actions/commentary, and that's okay to express. it's no substitute for any other action, and i don't want to say anyone is hypocritical in their approach. plenty of fans are voicing their concerns while still participating in the fandom and listening to songs and that's fine. like...at the end of the day, she's an extremely famous pop musician we enjoy who doesn't know we exist. your blog is your own. it's whatever you're comfortable with and makes you happy. whatever you want to do is the right thing, and if anyone judges you for it, that's their problem.

for my part, i'm doing my best and playing this day-by-day, the break i needed is because i'm overly sensitive, and seeing/hearing directly from other people who are hurting breaks my heart, and that took priority. i know what it's like to feel as though something dear to you has been damaged, and how you just yearn to get that comfort back, and it has stirred up some other assorted stuff for me. it doesn't mean i'm leaving. it doesn't change what she's meant to me for fifteen years or the many times she's given me joy and solace in the darkest moments. that's all still true. i know i keep saying this, but the music will always be there and its inherent meaning is unchanged. whatever is happening or might happen doesn't diminish that.

tl;dr you're not a hypocrite for loving something that has been so significant to you for so long and wanting to hold onto it.

[bedlamsbard]

So, I get the distaste for Rebels and The Bad Batch (definitely that last one), and I can certainly suggest @agoddamn's series of watching Clone Wars (because wow, I'd forgotten how poor that series could be), but with The Mandalorian, the most I can understand of your dislike of it is how it handles previous characters. Which, yeah, Filoni and his Precious OCs, but other than that, what about it? I mean, the plot/theme seemed simple to me: focusing on the relationship between Din and Grogu.

Ack, I didn't realize that out of context of my past ten years of fannishness and fannish engagement the takeaway from recent critical posts would be "Bedlam hates Star Wars," let alone "Bedlam hates Rebels"!

Look, I love Star Wars -- I genuinely do love Rebels and TCW, I'm very fond of Resistance and most of the films, and there are other parts of the ancillaries (books, comics, games) that I love, like, and/or enjoy. There are other parts of the saga that I dislike, a lot of it that I'm pretty neutral on because I just don't care; there's very little that I outright hate. (There are things that I avoid because I know I would hate them; I won't read Dark Disciple because the old EU Republic/Clone Wars comics from Dark Horse were formative for me and I'm not really over how Quinlan Vos's story line got retconned for TCW and thus the novel, so I don't feel the need to rub my face in it.)

I think, especially with Star Wars, there's a tendency to think that people only complain because they dislike or hate whatever it is they're complaining about it. I don't talk about the parts of Star Wars I actually hate because I frankly don't see the point in talking about the stuff I have no emotional investment in, or where my emotional investment only is distaste -- that's why I'll almost never talk about the ST. (And why I've only talked about the back half of Rebels S4, which I do genuinely hate, a handful of times over the years: I don't want to think about the thing I actually hate.) I talk about Rebels and TCW because those are the parts of Star Wars that I love and because I occasionally want to dig into why there are parts of them that just don't work for me. (And I do realize that if anyone pays attention to what I reblog and don't it may come off as me not liking them particularly; 99% of the time I only reblog TCW or Rebels gifsets immediately after I've rewatched episodes, and I haven't been doing rewatches lately for various reasons.) Critique doesn't mean "I hate it," it means "I want to think about this more on a critical level." It means "I love the puzzle pieces, why does the way they were put together not work for me? How could they have been done differently so that it would have worked for me?" Like I said a few weeks ago, while I don't want to actively add negativity to the fandom, I also don't really want to sit down and shut up if something isn't doing it for me if otherwise I love the thing; I want to figure out why it doesn't work. This is the flip side of "if you can't say anything positive, don't say anything at all" -- I'm not talking to Dave Filoni or the other showrunners (and I would never say any of this to the face of anyone at Lucasfilm), I'm sitting here talking to myself and to my friends about why the puzzle pieces don't quite come together for me. (And the bonus of me putting it on Tumblr is that I can actually find it again, because sometimes I do want to go back and see what I said about XYZ.)

If I'm not actively talking about all the things I love about Rebels or TCW it's because I don't particularly feel the need to justify why Thing works for me, because I already know it works for me. Or because I spent the first two years or so of Rebels and big chunks of TCW doing episode liveblogs, which are on the back end of my "Bedlam watches Rebels" and "Bedlam watches TCW" tags, and I don't feel the need to come back and say "I love the way XYZ happened" six or seven times. Or because I think it would be obvious because I've written something around a million words of fanfic about the two of them. Or because I have three Rebels tattoos and am a Rebels cosplayer, which obviously I don't really talk about on Tumblr but is something that I personally know. I mostly have not talked about The Bad Batch publicly (and only a little privately) because mostly it's not doing much that triggers strong feelings in me one way or another, though I do have the whole "why are these puzzle pieces not working for me, how would I have put them together differently" feel about parts of it.

As for Mando specifically -- look, Mando's fine. I understand why it appeals to a lot of people, even if I am not one of those people. I don't particularly find Grogu appealing either on a character or an aesthetic level. I find that for me personally the show varies wildly in quality from episode to episode; I find it to be a little too clever about itself in how it deals with both the world, its plot, its place in the saga, and its characters in a way drives me up the wall. It hits a couple of really specific things that are huge do not wants for me and some of that is on a shallow note of "I don't like how they do their Twi'lek prosthetics" and some of it is "I don't particularly like the aesthetics" and some of it is a weightier "I'm confused about what the thematic points of the show are because they're all over the map" and yes, some of it is, "I don't like how Mando intersects or does not intersect with other parts of the saga." Or the way that it gets valorized for being live action rather than animated by a lot of the fandom and then gets elevated over the other parts of the saga that I care about the most (TCW and Rebels). I've talked in the past about how Mando genuinely made me feel gaslit, even if that was no one's intention and thus was not actually gaslighting; it just managed to hit on my specific issues. I don't talk about Mando that much because mostly I just don't care and when I do talk about it it's because it managed to trip into something I do care about.

And if I sound particularly cranky right now, it's because every time I say something critical and it starts making tracks out of my usual circles, someone comes in to go "wow! you must hate Star Wars!" or "wow! you care a lot about [aesthetic choice]! why would you care about that!" or "wow! you're an idiot for thinking XYZ would happen/not happen!" or variations thereof. I've been in fandom for twenty years. I've been in this fandom since George W. Bush was president. I know how it goes. I'm going to reiterate the post I made after the Mando finale:

in any expanded canon, people are going to have different deal-breakers on where they can suspend their disbelief and it’s not a judgment on you and yours if theirs is different than yours. nor does it automatically say something bad about them! it just means y’all have different priorities and that’s fine! neither one of you should be jumping down each other’s throat because their line in the sand is “this contradicts something in previous canon” and yours is “the CGI is unconvincing.”

I feel like I’ve been seeing a lot of condescension (rather than hostility, which tbh is par for the course in SW so I just tune it out) recently and like…people can have different priorities. it’s fine. they’re not stupid for having their priority be “I don’t like the prosthetics” when your priority is “character A was mean to character B.” don’t worry, Lucasfilm isn’t listening to any of us.

[s-creations]

The Caring from Others

Gyro has never been good with emotions or understanding people. His younger years not helpful in those categories as he grew up. Good thing life wasn't ready to let him throw in the towel just yet.

Fandom: Ducktales ‘17         Rating: General Audience         Relationships/Pairings: Gyro Gearloose/Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera, Fenro       Warnings/Tags: Other characters are mentioned, How do emotions work? We’re learning today!, A little OOC.

The Father

Gyro doesn’t recall his childhood fondly.

Growing up in a small, back water farming town. A place where advancements, anything ‘new’, was labeled as dangerous. Deemed bad for everyone involved. His parents were less than thrilled when Gyro announced he wanted to become a scientist.

It wasn’t ‘honest work’.

A profession of false tests to make the common folk fearful of everything.

To make them more dependent on the government.

Even if Gyro suggested creating improved tools. Better way to help the farmers in making their jobs easier. Even safer. Every suggestion was just shot down. His parents claimed if their way had worked so well for so long, why change anything?

For 15 year Gyro had to work in secrecy. Knowing if any glimmer of creativity was found, it would be destroyed. Stomped out before it could reach their full potential. Salvation came when, after turning in so many applications, he was accepted into a high level university. Full scholarship and all. Everything was paid for, there was nothing to worry about.

Gyro should have felt some sting when his parents put up no fuss as he left. Happily letting their misfit son go off on his own journey. But Gyro honestly felt nothing but relief as he left that farmhouse behind for good.

While he now had the freedom to create in the open, university had its own issues to contend with. Like being mocked by his peers. Gyro was young and already set up with terrible social skills. It wasn’t better when fellow students deemed it a high priority to ostracize the chicken.  The other students weren’t thrilled that someone younger than them had accomplished so much in their early years. The chicken’s ideas being scoffed at when he presented or attempted to make some connection. Gyro was sure he would have dropped out long ago if not for the continuous support and offered safety from his professors.

It was during Gyro’s last year of university that he was introduced to Dr. Akita. Properly introduced anyway. Gyro was well aware of the other long before this meeting. Having studied the scientist’s work extensively. It was almost like a dream come true when Gyro was offered an internship. A way to work with his idol directly.

How quickly it all turned into a nightmare.

2-BO was Gyro’s biggest accomplishment and regret. The chicken labeled as a mad scientist and abandoned by Akita when the chicken’s creation went rogue. Gyro was thrusted into a world he had no idea how to traverse. He was turned away from every opportunity. All knowing his history, fearful of what damage he was still capable of.

Gyro couldn’t blame them for being so concerned. He was honestly fearful of his own inventions at this point.

It was a surprise when Scrooge McDuck of all people reached out to him. Wanting Gyro to present his ideas to the billionaire and his board members. It was a mounting pile of nerves that was continuously being added to as the day drew closer. The chicken was honestly shocked that he didn’t pass out while presenting. Or from the unnerving quiet when Gyro finished. The buzzards looked unimpressed. Which did not help Gyro’s as yellow eyes stared him down.

“Mr. McDuck, this was a complete waste of time,” the buzzard from the middle spoke, “We are not in need of new hires for the production line. Especially not one with such a...dangerous past.”

Gyro swallowed weakly.

“Nonsense. Who ever said about having Dr. Gearloose here to be part of our regular R&D team.” Scrooge commented casually. He stood from his large, cushioned chair. Making his way over to the quietly panicking scientist. “I’ve been in the market for a personal inventor for awhile now.”

“Please do not tell me this is for your wild excursions sir.”

“Bradford, you’re too worried about keeping finances. Personal and monetary gain cannot be achieved at the same time. I have enough monetary value...for the moment. Now is the time for personal gain.”

“If you are so determined to do this. Could you at least get someone less dangerous.”

Scrooge slammed his cane down. Causing all in the room to flinch.  “How can we expect growth if we cling to the past. Dr. Gearloose cannot be given redemption with no opportunity. I’ve seen his work. Both the bad and the good. I want him working with me.”

“Then I request a trial period. I would like to see a working, safe invention from the doctor here. If he does that, I won’t bring this up again.”

With a smirk, Scrooge gave a nod before facing Gyro. Who’d been honestly confused through the entire ordeal. Who just argues so freely with their boss?

“What do you say Dr. Gearloose? Think you’re up for the task?”

Steeling himself, Gyro gave a short nod. “Yes. Absolutely.”

He could do this. He knew he could. How many ideas had he sketched out when he was younger? Surely there were a number of inventions he could use to impress the board.

The good news was he was right. He was able to dig up multiple sketchbooks he had filled out from his college days that had yet to be used. Now came the trying task of deciding which invention he was going to use. One that was impressive enough to blow those buzzards away. But he could easily make it within the offered window of time. And that it was safe.

He wished Mr. McDuck would have been more forward with what he was looking for. The chicken would at least have a starting point.

Gyro really thought he had a winner when the month was up. More than a little confident when he entered the boardroom, all eyes on him. Giving his presentation with as much vibrato as he could. It was all going, in his mind, quite well. Even Mr. McDuck looked a little smug for Gyro’s success.

Then the machine was turned on.

It gave a warning whine, Gyro actually leaning in to see what the issue was. Letting out a choking sound as he was pulled back by Scrooge’s cane. All taking cover when the invention exploded. Leaving the pedestal it had been resting on and the wall behind it with dark scorch marks.

Gyro felt absolutely sick. Wide eyes staring at the spot where his achievement once sat. Only looking away when Bradford slammed his hands down.

“Unacceptable! Even a simple request created something so dangerous. I am putting my foot down on this Mr. McDuck.” The buzzard huffed as he stared Gyro down.

Scrooge, on his part, merely seemed unfazed by it all. Taking the time dust himself off. Pulling Gyro up and straightening him out as well before speaking. “Dr. Gearloose. Would you mind waiting for me in the labs. I need to have a quick discussion with the board.”

Gyro merely nodded. His voice stuck in his throat as he made his way to the elevator. Arms and stomach heavy with his failure. He knew he was fired. His one opportunity was gone. Gyro realized this was his best and only chance at getting any sort of job. A scientist who’s inventions caused more damage and cut off by Scrooge McDuck? Gyro would be lucky if he got a job at Radio Hut after all of this.

He collapses into the first chair he could find in the lab. Laying his glasses on a nearby flat surface and rubbing his temples. At this point in his life, Gyro wasn’t as emotionally blocked as he would later become. But he was learning that breakdowns were seen as weaknesses.

By his parents.

By his classmates.

By Dr. Akita.

So while he wanted nothing more than to hide away. Let this moment of emotional sorrow pass naturally and move on. Gyro had been conditioned to hold it in. Because what scientist falls apart?

He let out a slow breath as the elevator announced it’s arrival. Glasses on and standing as Scrooge made a direct line for him. While showing emotions weren’t allowed, Gyro learned that groveling was acceptable. Something Dr. Akita was quick to teach.

“I am sorry,” Gyro said quickly, “It wasn’t my intention for it to explode.”

“I had assumed so.”

“If given another chance-”

“Lad, you’re not fired.”

Gyro swallowed weakly. Stunned by the name and the announcement. “But...I almost killed everyone.”

“That’s a tad extreme. We would have been maimed. But kill? Doubtful.”

“It exploded!”

“I’ve experienced worse.”

“Mr. McDuck, with all due respect, you’re insane.”

Scrooge waved his hand. “No matter. Why don’t you take a seat.”

Doing as asked, Gyro looked up nervously, hands clenched together as he waited.

“As stated before, you’re not fired. Even after your explosive debut. I know Bradford is a stickler for keeping things ‘safe’. It’s one of the reasons I hired him onto the team. But he doesn’t understand that needed balance of risk and reward. I’m aware of your past. Which I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about at this point. We are our own worst critics. But I also know of your successes, your numerous successes.”

“I want to see you succeed. You deserve to see yourself succeed. I want to give you that opportunity. We’ll need to make sure you can give something to Bradford on occasion to keep him placated. But, other than that, you will have full creative freedom. How does that sound?”

Gyro swallowed hard, trying to keep himself stable. No longer fearful. Now extremely happy. However, he kept himself in check to remain professional. “Honestly, it’s too good to be true.”

Scrooge merely laughed. Clapping a hand on Gyro’s shoulder. “Well, get over that starstruck feeling quick lad. You have a lot of work ahead of you. I trust you can manage from here.”

As he watched Scrooge head back towards the elevator, Gyro realized something. “Um, sir?”

“Yes?”

“Your bet, with Bradford, you didn’t technically win.”

“Technically yes.”

“So...shouldn’t I be fired?”

A smirk appeared on the billionaire’s face, eyes seeming to shine. “Bradford needs to use his words better. He said if he wasn’t impressed, he wouldn’t discuss not keeping you. He never out right said I had to fire you. So, unfortunately, we’ll still need to hear his complaints. But he can’t fire you unless he gives me a good reason. Which I doubt he’ll be able to give.”

“I...thank you, Mr. McDuck.” Gyro weakly answered in disbelief.

“Don’t thank me. Just be the scientist I know you can be.”

“I will sir!”

Turning in the elevator to face Gyro, Scrooge gave a nod and smile. “I know lad. I trust you.”

_____________________________

The Brother

Gyro has always been a loner. He worked best this way. He was able to focus and didn’t have to constantly worry if his partner was doing their work properly. Plus, no one had really tried to include him in anything during his younger years. So he learned that working alone was better for him.

He was very much against the idea of having an intern working in his lab. Which Scrooge flat out refused to take Gyro’s refusal. Meaning the chicken couldn’t deny the hired help no matter how loudly he complained. With the unfortunate addition of the possible literal rendition of sunshine named Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera being hired a few weeks later. Which also meant an increased number of ‘visitors’ to this dangerous lab to see the brown duck. Doing nothing to help Gyro’s frantic state of keeping everything safe and making sure nothing became evil.

Scrooge was a common person to see there. After all, he owned the lab and it was attached to his place of work. Why wouldn’t he arrive to check on progress. To be shown what Gyro was working on. Now, however, the billionaire invited himself in to also check on Fenton. To make sure the intern was actually doing scientific research and not just cleaning the floors.

Launchpad had become friends with Fenton after that B.U.D.D.Y incident. The idiotic driver deciding that wasting time discussing some childhood show was perfectly fine. Gyro honestly tried to not become infuriated. But did he have to waste the interns' time! Even if the chicken didn’t want help from the other. It was the principle of the matter.

This also caused the blue nephew (Dew- something, whatever) to join Launchpad in the lab. Two children or beings with childlike personalities running around in the lab. A place filled with dangerous equipment. It was the perfect place to socialize in, Gyro sarcastically muttered to himself. And Scrooge actually encouraged it! Saying social engagement was good for both Fenton and Gyro. As if the chicken wanted to talk to someone who didn’t know what NaCl was.

So even he was surprised when he started to form a connection with Huey Duck. The red cladded nephew first started showing up to visit Fenton originally. The duckling particularly enamored with the scientist/superhero. Both talking for hours about new upgrades they could possibly make to the suit.

“With you permission, of course! D-Dr. Gearloose.” Fenton would assure with a sheepish smile. Which Gyro would respond with a mere rolling of his eyes.

As time went on and Fenton started to leave more and more due to hero calls, Huey started following Gyro around. The duckling deciding he wouldn't want to leave the labs quiet yet. And Huey wanted to pick the head scientist’s brain with his own ideas. At first, Gyro assumed his ‘wonderful’ personality would drive the other away. Huey, however, didn’t seem to care.

“You don’t have any siblings, do you.”

Gyro raised a brow at that. “Uh, no. At least I didn’t when I was actually living at home. At this point in my life, who knows. What’s your point.”

“My point being that your sullen attitude will have no effect on me. I’m the oldest of three. So, I have to deal with younger brothers. Sour attitudes are an old trick.”

“There really is no getting rid of you.”

“Nope.”

Gyro won’t lie, it was aggravating at first. He already had a shadow in the form of Fenton. Now the chicken was settled with another one that liked to constantly talk and didn’t fear him. Gyro only gave proper notice to the duckling when Fenton came to him with an upgrade for the Gizmosuit. One that sounded good.

“I thought you were busy with your toothbrush idea. When did you have time to think of this?”

“Actually, Huey came up with this.” Fenton answered.

“The red triplet?”

The duck smiled softly. “He’s been around here enough times. I think you can refer to him by his name.”

The chicken wasn’t overly fond of this idea. In his mind, the use of a name means Gyro cared enough to remember. And caring meant he wasn’t truly focused on his work. Something Akita was very adamant that Gyro learned.

But look where Gyro was now. Abandoned by his mentor.

Maybe Fenton was onto something. That felt strange to say.

“Very well. Perhaps I’ll have to try it your way.” Gyro was hit with a wave of confusion by the sudden sweeping sensation that went through his stomach. Fenton’s smile seeming to hit differently that day. But the head scientist filed that sensation away under ‘a later problem’.

Gyro should not have felt a sense of accomplishment seeing Huey’s eyes light up upon hearing his name. The chicken should have cut ties when the triplet sheepishly asked if Gyro could review Huey’s science project. And there should have been no sickening, worry feeling entering his veins when Huey arrived to the labs one day with a black eye.

Fenton, being the caring overbearing person he was, instantly panicked. “Huey! What happened to you? Are you alright?”

Gyro scoffed. “Of course he isn’t. He’s injured.”

“Do we have ice packs?”

“Freezer in the break room. I’ll get the first aid.” The chicken gestured for Huey to follow him. The duckling doing so without complaint. “Come on, take a seat. I need to see where else you’ve been hurt.”

Huey gave no response. Which was starting to become worrisome. The duckling was covered with small cuts and bruises. Gyro thankful it wasn’t worse… Because he didn’t want to waste the resources! Of course. What else would he be talking about.

Fenton came rushing back in. An ice pack wrapped in a hand towel was pressed against the black eyes. “Leave that there for a while. Do you need some pain medicine?”

“Already taken care of,” Gyro answered once again, “Now that all of that’s been taken care of. I think we’re owed an explanation.”

“Dr. Gearloose, just give him a moment.”

“I would like a reason for why Huey,” darn it Gyro said the name, “came to us instead to one of his uncle’s or other family members.”

“He can tell us when he’s ready. Give him a chance to relax.”

“And he can when he tells us- me what’s going on right now.”

“Dr. Gearloose-”

“I was able to skip a level in science.” The adult fell quiet hearing Huey’s whispered response.

“What?”

Huey gestured to his discarded bag. To which Fenton grabs it, handing it over. The duckling opened it and pulled out a familiar notebook that had been shoved into Gyro’s face numerous times. One that held Huey’s numerous sketches and ideas. Except it was destroyed. Practically torn to shreds, almost unrecognizable from what the head scientist had seen before.

“I showed my teachers my notebook. They were really impressed and talked to the principal about me skipping a level. It’s so I could enter the science fair that the upper level students can participate in. They said I had a lot of potential. Uncle Donald was happy, I was happy. My brothers teased me, but I know they were happy for me. I was kind of...blinded by my eagerness, I was under the assumption everyone would just be...okay with this.”

“Your classmates…” Gyro meant to have it sound like a statement. It instead sounded like a sickening realization.

But Huey merely nodded before continuing. “They’ve been writing things on my desk. Throwing things at me. I’ve been ignoring it…”

“Have they...hurt you before?” Fenton asked.

“No. I think they were tired that they hadn’t been getting a response from me like they wanted.”

“Have you told your uncle about this?”

“No… He’s already having a hard time finding a job and fixing the boathouse. I was hoping if I just ignored them, they’d leave me alone. ...I think I’m going to just drop back down to my grade level.”

“You are not going to let those punks win,” Gyro was surprised that he didn’t flinch as two sets of eyes snapped to him, “If you just go running back to your previous classes, you let them win. You’ll give them more fuel to think their actions are right. Especially if you haven’t told anyone about this. There will be no repercussions and they’ll continue to be terrible little creatures.”

“What do I do then?” Huey asked.

“You’re going to tell your uncle, your teachers, your principal, everyone you can. You’re going to come back with even better ideas. And This is a fight you can win because you have support. People who care about you...or something mushy like that.”

Huey gave a nod, rubbing his good eye and giving a blinding smile. “Okay...thank you, Dr. Gearloose.”

Gyro didn’t squirm weakly under the adoring look being sent his way. Or feel any sort of warmth blossoming in his chest knowing he’d helped in some way. Or become flustered at the smile aimed at him by Fenton, who’s eyes seemed to shine with happiness.

“I also know a side step that can break a femur. Very useful to know.”

“Dr. Gearloose!”

A few days later, Huey returned to the labs. Bright eyed and eager to show off his idea. No longer supporting injuries or secrets.

Gyro felt another save of fluster when Huey hugged his legs while Fenton laughed softly as he watched.

_____________________________

The Son

Gyro was surprised so much could change in one day. Well...one day-ish. It was more like three. Point being it felt as if all events had transpired in one day.

2-BO, now named Boyd, entered his life once more. The real boy having befriended Huey. Because of course that’s who would meet Gyro’s used-to-be biggest regret. Then he returned to Tokyolk after 10 years with Fenton, Huey, and Boyd in tow. The original intention was to destroy (Selene above he felt sick thinking about it now) Boyd. Get rid of his past.

Only for his entire perspective to be flipped. The mentor he thought was on his side had corrupted Gyro’s creation. Boyd was never given an option in his original purpose. Turned into a war machine that the chicken never wanted. And Gyro himself realized he was not the mad scientist so many had labeled him as.

He will admit, it was by sheer dumb luck and tapping into emotions he was sure had shriveled up long ago that it all ended so well. Akita was arrested. Going to be put to trial and allowing Gyro a chance to properly clear his name. Boyd overrode all corrupted coding, both Akita’s and Mark’s. Becoming the real little boy he was meant to be. All surviving and heading back home to Duckberg. As he rested in the cushioned plane seat, Boyd resting on his lap, Gyro was hit with two realizations.

The first topic (one which he honestly wanted to focus on much, much later) was an understanding of what Fenton meant to him. Between the fear of possible death and the burn of betrayal, Gyro had felt a deep distress watching the duck fight for his life. Fenton had given his all to protect the city and the citizens. And it almost cost him his life. Something Gyro never wanted to see again. The reason why was something that the chicken was not fully ready to review. Not yet. Possibly in the future, at some point. But he had another problem he needed to worry about now.

The second worry was equally confusing. Possibly because Gyro was still emotionally backed up. He wasn’t quite sure what was going to happen to Boyd. Gyro was made aware by Huey that the other real boy had been living with the Drake’s. A pompous rich family with an arrogant and rather disturbing child. A setting Gyro didn’t want Boyd growing up in. But what was the other option? Gyro himself? Someone who’s never known a stable family life and is not even close to the person Boyd once knew.

He could barely care for himself if Gyro was honest. Living off of multiple cups of coffee and cheap instant noodles. His sleep schedule was non-existent. Social skills were laughable. Gyro had honestly nothing to offer. It was terrible that there was not a better solution to all of this. Boyd deserved so much better than whatever his current care taking options could offer.

Gyro was shocked when, only a few days later, Boyd announced he wanted to live with the scientist.

“I- why?” Gyro winced at how harsh he sounded. But Boyd merely smiled back.

“I just found you. I don’t want to lose you again.”

Well, how was he supposed to say no to that? Gyro’s second bedroom, which once housed numerous boxes, was turned into a proper living space. He lived by a schedule that revolved around Boyd’s activities. Researching meals that both could enjoy and even learning how to properly cook. It was strange, but very rewarding. Gyro didn’t think it would affect him so much.

Until Fenton pointed it out.

“You’re really happy.”

It was a casual comment. But it gave Gyro pause. “What?”

Fenton stalled at that, flushing softly. “Sorry, I mean… I just noticed you seemed to be smiling more. And you’re more relaxed. You’re eating better and well rested. You just look really happy.”

Gyro leaned back in his chair. Tapping his pen as he thought the statement over. “I...suppose I am. Boyd really had changed me for the better, I think. Isn’t it strange...he was once my biggest regret. Now, I can’t see him not being in my life. I do worry that I’m not doing enough. Or that I won’t be what Boyd needs.”

Gyro flushed softly feeling a hand benign placed on his shoulder. Looking up at the beaming face Fenton. “You’re doing a wonderful job Gyro. Don’t doubt yourself.”

The scientist did all he could to not melt into the floor. He takes Fenton’s words to heart. Gyro had worked with Fenton long enough to know the duck wasn’t one to just give false praise. So, if Fenton thought the chicken was doing well, who was Gyro to question the given conclusion.

Gyro’s resolve was truly tested when he received a call from the school Boyd was attending. Apparently the real boy had been in a fight. A fight fight with another student.

Hearing this caused Gyro to panic. Worrying that possibly, maybe, the corrupted programming had returned. Wondering what could have happened for Boyd to act like this. Had Gyro said something sarcastic that the real boy had taken to heart? Was Boyd going to be taken away? Was this a sign that Gyro was not fit to be a caretaker?

The chicken was brought out of his spinning thoughts when someone grabbed his shoulders. Eyes connected to Fenton’s, who’s looking was concerning.

“Dr. Gearloose, you need to calm down. You’re drawing a conclusion with so little context. Just go to the school and hear what happened. Then you can react appropriately.”

“Right… Right, I need to get there.” The chicken mumbled weakly, eyes now frantically scanning the lab for his car keys. Fenton came to the rescue again when said items suddenly appeared in his hands.

“How about I drive.”

“...Yeah. That’s probably for the best.”

The drive was quiet. Fenton focused on the road while Gyro internally panicked. All too soon they were pulling into the school’s parking lot. The area was relatively empty as they walked up to the front entrance. Fenton made a quiet comment about the teachers having to park behind the building. It was a bit of a shock to run into Donald. The duck looked close to an angry snap.

“Hello Mr. Duck.” Fenton offered a smile.

“Fenton,” Donald’s eyes went to Gyro, “Boyd?”

Gyro nodded. “He was apparently in a fight. What about you?”

“Huey.”

What was going on?

The three walked in together, being directed by the secretary to where the principal’s office was. Dewey and Louie were waiting outside. The triplets wearing concerned looks when they looked over to the approaching adults. Donald gave them each a hug with a few words of encouragement before knocking on the imposing door. Gyro’s hand instantly shot out and grabbed onto Fenton’s as his heart raced. The duck gave no complaint. Even giving an encouraging squeeze as they walked in.

The large desk was the first thing to note. Large and imposing, telling all that the person sitting behind it to be respected. Even if the principal himself was a frail little bird. To the right sat a large bulldog boy supporting an arm with fabric wrapped around it. Gyro assumed there was a scrap of some kind underneath the fabric. A wiry female was dotting over the child while a brick wall of a man standing behind them both with his arms crossed.

To the left sat Huey and Boyd. The real boy seemed unharmed. Just appearing extremely nervous and worried. Huey, on the other hand, was supporting a black eye. A bag of ice already pressed on the injury. Gyro needed to research if there were long term effects of multiple black eyes.

Donald instantly broke away from the three, bending down to check on Huey. Gyro walked over to Boyd. Still having a hold on Fenton’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Gyro frantically asked. To which Boyd gave a sharp nod and fell still again. Deciding that was enough of an answer for now, the scientist moved himself and Fenton to behind the seats.

“Thank you all for coming,” the principal began, “I realize this was all on short notice. But we do not tolerate fighting. According to numerous student witnesses, there was a verbal dispute that turned violent during recess. One that resulted in Dennis benign pushed and Huey receiving a black eye. Before I continue, I will ask that you hold all comments and questions until the end. Is this agreeable?”

All adults nodded.

“Very well.” Reaching for something in his drawer, the principal pulled out a cell phone protected by a faded green case. “Louie Duck was able to record the incident and it lines up with the events the other students have provided. Dennis here was apparently using verbal harassment and inappropriate language against Boyd. To which Huey attempted to defuse the situation by walking away. Dennis has responded by throwing a punch. To what ends, I’m unsure, and Dennis has not provided an answer for his actions.”

The chair Huey was sitting in let out a loud noise of protest. Donald gripping the back of it tightly.

“And you well to continue, Mr. Duck?”

Donald nodded.

“Very well. Boyd here reacted to this by pushing Dennis away. The scrap on his arm caused by his fall. Mr. and Mrs. Morris, I’m unsure as to where your son has learned such language and actions. I would advise you to seriously monitor the media and outside influence your son consumes.”

“Oh absolutely,” Mrs. Morris answered readily, “Don’t you fret. We will have a stern talking to Dennis when we get home.”

“That is good to hear. Now, does anyone have any questions about this matter.”

“What exactly did young Dennis here say to Boyd. If I may ask.” Gyro’s voice was even. But, if Fenton squeezing his hand was any indication, his tone was dripping with venom.

“I won’t say specifics as I don’t wish to repeat them. Dennis was making comments about Boyd’s...past. Something about him being dangerous. As well as some...homophobic comments.”

Fenton squeezed Gyro’s hand again, the chicken shaking now. With fear or rage, he couldn’t tell. His own attention had snapped over to Mr. Morris. The father still having his arms crossed and imposing. But Gyro noticed the other’s eyes flitted down to Gyro’s and Fenton’s joined hands. The scowl seemed to become deeper once the father was caught in the action.

“I see. I’m very concerned as to where Dennis would have picked up language like that.” Gyro held eye contact with Mr. Morris until the principal cleared his throat.

“If there are no more questions… Mr. and Mrs. Morris, the actions, both verbal and physical, cannot go unpunished. We do not tolerate this kind of behavior. Dennis will be given one weeks suspension. As well as a written apology letter to both Huey and Boyd. I would also recommend setting up some meetings with the school counselor.”

“Understandable, very reasonable.” Mrs. Morris nodded while Mr. Morris was shaking with, no doubt, rage.

“Very well. Mr. Gearloose-”

“Dr. Gearloose.”

“Ah, apologizes. Dr. Gearloose, I’m aware Boyd was merely defending Huey. However-”

“You’re going to give him detention because he pushed Dennis. Defending himself in a violent way.”

“Ah...yes. Huey will receive no punishment. I hope we’re all understanding of this course of action?” Another round of sharp nods, “Very well, I won’t keep you all any longer. Mr. Duck, here is Louie’s phone. Thank him for providing me with his phone. All are excused for the rest of the day.”

It was tense walking out. The Morris’ were leading the way. But Gyro kept a tight grip on Fenton as Mr. Morris kept glancing back with a dark scowl. Something Gyro was not a fan of. It didn’t reach a head until they entered the parking lot. Away from the front doors and the cameras.

Mr. Morris turned and stalked over to the mismatched group. Gyro more than ready for the awaiting confrontation.

“I know you, Gearloose. I’ve seen your name in the paper before. You’re an absolute menace in every possible way.” Eyes darted back down to the still clasped hands.

“Yet I’ve accomplished more than you could ever hope for in your miserable life. Your need for constant approval has clearly made you bitter. Because you’d rather stomp out any spark of joy than attempt to change yourself or your family. If this incident was any indication.”

Mr. Morris let out a low growl. Gyro fully expecting to be decked as well. Only to be shocked when Fenton stepped between the two. The larger looking down with a raised brow.

“And who are you.”

“He’s my emotional support duck.” Gyro answered.

“Do you really think a confrontation on school grounds will reflect well in any way,” Fenton said, “I would suggest you step away from this now.”

Mr. Morris popped his shoulder, his scowl set. From behind, Mrs. Morris gave a clear and harsh cough. Her husband benign sent a hard stare of his own when he turned to look back. It was a silent, but brief conversation between the two of them that ended with the husband shuffling back over to his family. No one from the group relaxed until the pink mini-van drove away from the parking lot.

“So what exactly was your plan here?” Gyro frowned at Fenton, “I don’t see the Gizmoduck armor on you.”

“My body reacted before I could really...think.” The duck laughed sheepishly.

The head scientist merely rolled his eyes before turning to Boyd. Who looked back with worried eyes. “You okay?”

The real boy shifted nervously. “He called me a weapon and...I really tried not to fight. I tried to ignore him. But he...he pushed Huey and I got really mad… What if he was right?”

“He absolutely is not right.”

“Gyro.” Fenton whispers, in the same tone that told the chicken he was sounding harsh. The head scientist was thrown off for a moment hearing his name and not his normal title. Tuck that moment of broken mind away for later.

Gyro let out a slow breath before kneeling down and placing a hand on Boyd’s shoulder. “Boyd, you know who you are. I know who you are. You are not a weapon or a mindless machine. You are a real little boy. And you need to remember that, because you are going to meet a lot of people like Dennis. Closed minded and very ignorant. Saying anything they can to make you feel miserable and make them feel better.”

“However...you have people in your life who know you. Truly know you. Those are the people you need to listen to. Because they are going to make sure you believe in yourself. Understand?”

Boyd blinked as he thought the statement over. Eyes darting over to Huey, the triplets watching as Donald shouted at someone over the phone. No doubt having called up the principal or someone higher up in the schooling system to complain about the interaction in the parking lot. The red cladded triplet looked over to Boyd, giving a small smile and a wave. Which the real boy returned happily.

“I understand, Dad.”

Gyro swallowed weakly, pulling the small form closer while trying to keep his emotions in check. A weight on his shoulder drew his attention back to Fenton. Who had bent down as well with a smile on his face. The chicken smiled back in appreciation.

_____________________________

The Lover

Gyro knew this realization was a long time coming. No matter how many times he tried to deny it. Tell himself emotions were useless weights. He reached the point where he couldn’t hide the fact any longer.

Gyro had fallen in love with Fenton.

Which is not something he really wanted to focus on.

Gyro was sure he was becoming addicted to Fenton’s laugh. The head scientist had a mental category that each laugh fell into. A hard exhale through the nose was a sarcastic laugh if Fenton found something ridiculous but didn’t want to say anything. Hiding behind his clipboard with shoulders shaking meant he found something online but didn’t want to disturb the quiet. Small chortles seemed reserved for Gyro, the duck finding the head scientist’s dry humor funny. His full laugh was used with abandonment when he knew he wouldn’t be reprimanded for being so loud. Which was honestly more often than not anymore. Gyro found he loved how the sound would echo in the labs. It was almost like music.

There was also a list of body ticks that always caught Gyro’s eyes. Gently tapping the eraser of his pencil against his bill as he thought through a new problem. Tilting his head to the side with his hip occasionally cocked to the side as he looked over a blueprint. His brow would furrow when he concentrated hard on a situation. The top of his tongue would poke out when he reached ‘Gyro level’ of focus. His nose would crinkle when he silently found something amusing or disgusting. Which could only be determined by how brightly his eyes would shine.

Gyro could privately say, to himself, in his head, that Fenton honestly kept him grounded. The number of insults he would have hurled at the media dwindled when he thought of how disappointed the duck would be. The chicken had substantially cut back on the cups of coffee he would consume in one day when Fenton made a comment about being worried about his heart. He was surprised when he went to the duck to look over a new design, wanting feedback. Fenton beaming with each new time he was included in something. Gyro would counter saying Scrooge had warned the chicken he wasn’t utilizing Fenton to his fullest ability. Which was partially true. But he would be lying if Gyro wasn’t also looking for that blinding smile of adoration to be sent his way.

So, yes. After all the mental and physical lists he created. The pros and cons to having a relationship with anyone. Countless nights where he would lie awake knowing he was nowhere near worthy enough to have Fenton. Gyro knew he was in love with the duck.

The problem was moving forward with this revelation.

In all honesty, admitting it just made it all more bothersome. When Gyro still had his walls up, he could blame the rapid heartbeat as some symptoms of an onset illness. Just push the problem away to keep working. But having Boyd back in his life made him realize how bottling his emotions had become so damaging. Making Gyro more aware of what he was missing.

So now he was left to tread water. Wondering who he trusted well enough to ask for help.

There weren’t that many options with the Duck family. He and Donald had never really gotten along before the Spear of Selene incident. And Gyro was sure the duck still held some hostility towards him about the incident. While Gyro would consider Della the closest person to be a ‘childhood’ friend, she was dealing with her own issues. The kids were far too young to be considered as an option. Launchpad only had two rocks rolling around in that empty head, so any advice from him was not worth the headache. M’ma Cabrera? ...Selene above no. Even Gyro wasn’t that insane.

So that only left...Scrooge McDuck. This could not be considered a work appropriate topic. But the chicken was honestly at his wits end and needed help. The billionaire was his last and only option. It was with a heavy stone in his stomach that Gyro approached the familiar office doors. Knocking on them and only entering when he heard the familiar call out to do so.

“Ah, Gyro! What can I do for you?” Scrooge asked as the chicken sat across from him.

“I...need some advice.”

Scrooge paused in his writing, raising a brow as his full attention went to Gyro. “Advice on what?”

The chicken swallowed weakly. “Uh...romantic advice?”

“I see…” The billionaire placed his pend down. Clearing his throat, Scrooge sat up a little straighter in his chair. “Well, I will admit that I have not been very successful in my own love life. But I can offer help in any way I can. So, who’s the lucky person?”

Gyro swallowed again, feeling his face become flushed at the question. Doing all he could not to groan, he answered, “It’s Fenton.”

“The Gizmoboy? Really?”

Gyro nodded, not looking at Scrooge. His face on fire. “I just don’t know what to do. I’m aware that things have been going well and I don’t want to ruin it. But I feel like I’m going crazy! My heart is always going so fast when he’s near. I want to tell him, I really do. But...I also don’t think I’m the kind of person he deserves…”

Scrooge let out a heavy sigh as Gyro’s shoulders slumped. “I won’t act as if I’ve known you for your entire life. We both know I haven’t. But I have seen you at your lowest point and every triumph you’ve accomplished along the way. I’ve seen you slowly close in on yourself. It pained me to watch because I wasn’t sure how to help…”

“Let’s be honest sir. We both have not been in great positions emotionally for a while.” Gyro commented weakly. One that got a laugh out of Scrooge.

“This is true. But, the point is you have made a change in the past few months. I know you’ve built walls around yourself. I also know...bringing those walls down can be a terrifying idea. You’ve already started thanks to that boy of yours. Even if it was unintentional.”

“But what if he says no? I don’t know… There are too many variables that could offer a negative outcome.”

“That’s the risk of life. The good and the bad.”

“So what if he says no.”

“Then you move forward.”

“...I don’t know if I will recover.”

“Gyro, you’re putting the horse before the cart. And we’re still building the cart.”

Letting out a small groan, Gyro rubbed his forehead before looking back up. “Okay. So I’m taking a risk. We’ve determined that. But what do I say to him?”

“You just ask him.”

“Could you please not make it sound so easy.”

“It sounds easy because it is. You’re asking Fenton out on a date. Not defusing a bomb.”

“Yet the latter seems easier to accomplish.”

“Take the risk Gyro. Don’t waste your life wallowing on the ‘what-ifs’. You’ll regret it.”

Gyro left the office with not many answers and a pounding headache. But with determination to try and make this work in some way.

The bottom drawer of his desk was now filled with blueprints. Not for machines, but the best plan to ask Fenton out. The perfect places to go. All ranging from the cliche to the outlandish. What day would work best. His feathers became further ruffled as he worked. After a week of no progress, Gyro knew this wasn’t going to work. No reliable variables or knowledgeable outcomes. He just needed to do this. Because Gyro couldn’t stay in this mindset anymore.

Gyro’s first move was to wait for the lab to be empty. If he was going to crash and burn, he didn’t want an audience. Once that was achieved, he took a deep breath to settle his heart (didn’t work) and walked over to Fenton’s desk. The duck breaking from his thoughts hearing Gyro clear his throat.

“Hello Dr. Gearloose. What can I help you with?”

Gyro’s heart seemed to pick up it’s pace. Between the smile and wide eyes, the chicken felt like he was melting. In a good way. If that makes sense. None of this did.

Emotions were just so messy.

Darn it Gyro, focus!

“I...was wondering if you would be interested in conducting a...social experiment with me.”

“Oh, uh, sure! Of course. What’s the experiment?”

Another deep breath. “There is a new cafe that’s opened up recently near where I live. I am curious if you would like to join me in trying the products they offer. Sometime this weekend, possibly Saturday? Possibly trade some stories?”

Fenton’s head tilted to the side as Gyro spoke. A small smile forming as the other finished. “Dr. Gearloose-”

“Gyro. You...you can call me Gyro.”

“Okay, Gyro. Would it be safe to assume that this is an ask for a date?”

“That...would be a safe assumption.”

“Then I accept.”

Gyron was honestly shocked he was able to remain standing. Relief hitting him quickly upon hearing the answer. “Good, good.”

“How about I drop by your apartment around 8? Have breakfast at this cafe?”

“That’s acceptable.”

“Good. I look forward to this Saturday.”

“I am as well.”

One date turned to two. Which turned into three. Which became having dinner at the Crackshell-Cabrera household. Gyro was shocked when he received M’ma Cabrera’s blessing in  dating her son. But not before getting a stern warning of what would happen if Fenton was hurt in any way.

“I think that was successful.” Fenton commented as they were sharing their good-byes for the evening on the front porch.

“Yeah. Nothing says accepting like a talk that ends in the threat of my kneecaps.” Gyro smiled softly hearing the other chuckle.

“Well, she may or may not be upset still about your MoonVasion comment. You know. About throwing Gizmoduck into the masses as a sacrifice.”

“I may now also regret that comment…”

Another laugh from Fenton, the duck reaching down to gently take Gyro’s hand. Placing a kiss on the back of it before holding it close. “I’m glad you came. I think M’ma really appreciates it as well.”

“I’m happy I came as well… You know...I don’t say or do things that intentionally hurt you. I did at first but-”

“Gyro.”

“Yes?”

“I know you better now than I did before.”

And the matter was dropped.

The first kiss milestone occurred at the park around the holidays. Both bundled up against the cold and falling snow as they admired the strung holiday lights hanging from the numerous trees. Arms hooked, Fenton led the way with wide eyes. Giving small comments about the lights and how lovely the park was decorated. Gyro was admiring the duck himself. Loving how the lights fell over the brown plumage. Fenton eventually caught on that the chicken wasn’t looking at the light as he was. Flushing softly seeing eyes on him.

“W-What?” The duck laughed, a small smile forming.

“You’re beautiful.” Gyro responded softly. Fenton’s eyes widened at the comment before softening into another smile. Gyro put up no restraint as he was gently pulled down. Fenton leaning up and meeting the chicken in a gentle kiss. It was only a few seconds, but Gyro loved every moment of it.

The utterance of the three words came a few months into them dating. Fenton had arrived back to the labs after an intense battle to find a worried chicken. Arms crossed and first aid kit in his hands. There was a sharp point set to the couch and Fenton understood the silent command. Stepping out of the suit and plopping onto the cushioned furniture. Gyro made it clear he was less than pleased at the moment.

“What were you thinking.” The chicken snapped. Hand shaking as he attempted to gently clean the cuts.

“People needed help.”

“Why is that your answer for everything and why do you think it’s a reasonable one.”

“Because it’s true. I have to defend Duckberg.”

“Even against crazies coming from St. Canard? Can’t that purple caped idiot keep them in his neck of the woods.”

Fenton smiled softly. “Villains are people too. You can’t control everything.”

“Don’t tell me that. You know the first thing I’m going to do is make something that controls people to make them leave this place.”

“Gyro, that’s unethical.”

“Well, maybe if you would stop being your heroic self and making me worry.”

“I understood the risks when I took this position. As did you. As long as I have you to come back to, I’ll be okay.”

Gyro huffed as he finished up. Turning to start packing up the supplies. “I love you, but you can be such an idiot sometimes.”

He didn’t catch it until Fenton grabbed his hand suddenly. The chicken looked up to find eyes filled with shock staring at him. “What...did you say?”

Gyro frowned, thinking back to his previous words. Face becoming full blown red when he realized what he’d just uttered. “I… Is it too soon to say that? I’m sorry, I just- I’ve been thinking it a lot and every time you go to your superheroing, I think how I’m not going to get to say it. But I know we haven’t dated for a year and-”

“I love you too.”

Swallowing his words down, Gyro’s head snapped back up to look Fenton in the eyes. They sat, staring at each other in disbelief before Fenton chuckled. Gyro shares his own sheepish grin before leaning forward to claim a kiss from Fenton.

It was close to a year of them dating that Fenton moved in with Gyro and Boyd. The real boy thrilled to have the other doctor living with them. The once small, cold apartment was now teeming with life. Mornings were a rush to get ready for the day and to be out the door before they were all late. The kitchen filled with warmth and wonderful smells as Fenton makes dinner with Gyro helping where he could. Meals being shared at the small dining table before watching a few shows until bedtime. Gyro and Fenton taking turns reading to Boyd before he powered down for the night.

It was a comfortable routine. Something Gyro thought he would’ve hated. But with each day ending with him and Fenton in their shared bed. The younger laying his head on Gyro’s chest and long arms wrapped around him. The chicken realized he wouldn’t want it any other way.

“I think we should buy a house.” Gyro suddenly commented into the darkness. Hearing Fenton hum softly as he was pulled from sleep.

“Where’d this come from?” The duck mumbled weakly.

“I’m not really sure. The boring suburban life seems pleasant after the craziness of...everything. What do you think?”

“I like the idea,” Fenton yawned widely before pressing closer, “We could get a big yard for Boyd and Lil Blub to play in. Neighborhood kids to become friends with. I think Della mentioned about getting a house in a quiet suburb. We could ask her.”

“That place won’t be quiet once that family moves in.”

“Oh hush. Wouldn’t it be nice to have Huey as a neighbor? Boyd would like it.”

“I suppose so…”

Fenton gave another hum, Gyro noticing the other’s breathing was slowing down again. He leaned down to place a kiss on Fenton’s forehead. “I love you.”

The duck laughed softly. Placing his own weak kiss on Gyro’s neck. “Love you too…”

Gyro let out a slow breath, a smile forming on his face. Eyes on the ceiling as he listened to Fenton fall asleep. A hand reached up to preen a few feathers as he pulled the other closer. Heart beating happily as he settled down further into the bed. A smile still on his face as he fell asleep as well.

[linkspooky]

To be fair, Deku saw his friend's brother trying to kill him, so it's only natural that he doesn't care about Dabi's situation /trauma. Something like "at least Endeavor isn't trying to kill my friend"

Okay, this is an OPINION. Please read it as an opinion. 

To be fair, anon.  I don’t think anybody is criticizing Deku for trying to save his friend. Obviously, at the moment Deku’s first response would be to stop Dabi from trying to kill Shoto because he knows Shoto personally and cares about him. 

This is just my reading and interaction with fandom, but the two 2 complaints with Deku’s remark seem to be this. 

1) It’s incredibly tone-deaf. In the same vein as Best Jeanist’s argument. Best Jeanist is arguing that Dabi shouldn’t go public with his accusations because faith in heroes is already wavering. Deku is arguing that Enji is doing better right now, so he Dabi shouldn’t bring up the past again. Both of them are essentially trying to silence Dabi without even addressing what his actual argument is. Yes, Dabi is a villain who murders people but let’s imagine this is a normal situation. Let’s say that Endeavor was a film producer who had used his money and position in society to beat up a woman. That woman came clean about how the film producer was beating her. You’d want to see them at least fired, right? Dabi isn’t saying that Endeavor’s abuse of him gives him liscense to kill whoever he wants, he’s saying that Endeavor shouldn’t be held up as a hero after what he did, and the society that tries to silence his abuse is also complicit in that same abuse. 

The reason to make that case of abuse a matter of public opinion, in that case, is to PREVENT that person from using their money and power to both commit and get away with abuse. Dabi’s argument isn’t that Endeavor abused him so he should get to murder people. That’s not even close to what Dabi’s arguing. Dabi is arguing that Endeavor should not have a position and status in society as a hero considering that he’s used his wealth and connections in the past to abuse his own family. It doesn’t really matter if Endeavor is acting better now. You don’t re-elect a politician who was arrested for taking bribes. Endeavor’s current position as the number one hero requires the silence of all of his victims. 

What Dabi is saying is that the current hero system protects it’s own. If Endeavor is number one, if he has all of that power, then he should be held to a standard above others. But he’s not. The primary interest of the hero system as it is currently is keeping heros in power and in the dominant force in society. Do you know why we know this? It’s literally what Best Jeanist says. We can’t afford to hear this expose on endeavor right now because society is doubting heroes already. Hero society will put protecting heroes high in priority than even protecting the families, or victims of said heroes. 

Dabi’s not actually just talking about his personal case, he’s making a systemic argument. The argument he brings up is, if heroes are given so much power in society then shouldn’t they have an equal amount of regulation? Shouldn’t there be someone holding them responsible for all the power they wield? If there was someone holding them responsible, then what happened to Dabi never would have even happened. Enji intentionally manipulated the system in his own favor, to get his way. He didn’t get away with it because he was a good hero, he got away with it because he used money and power to hush it up. It’s a systemic argument and Deku responds with a personal one. 

Deku responds with: Well, he was a good mentor to me. 

Yes, that’s your personal experience with him. However, that’s not really even on topic to what Dabi is saying. Dabi is saying people who use the system in an abusive way shouldn’t even be allowed to be heroes. 

To be fair again, I don’t think Deku is making this from an angle of “I think Dabi should just shut up about his abuse for the good of society.” I think when it comes to Deku’s characterization he doesn’t have the lived experience of that kind of abuse. If Deku is fifteen and therefore a kid, it makes sense he would only judge the world from his point of view. If his experiences of Endeavor are mostly positive ones it makes sense he wouldn’t really comprehend the bulk of what both Shoto and Dabi have been through. 

2) Deku is a fictional character. Deku only acts as a realistic teenager as far as the author wants him to. I mean if you want to extend the argument of realism farther, then you could say it’s not realistic that a fifteen-year-old would be willing to break the bones in his body, or that it’s not realistic he’s not losing his mind from the pain of having all his limbs broken.  I mean, what do fifteen-year-olds do these days sit around all day vaping? Skateboarding? Anyway, realism only extends so far. Basically, as much as Deku is his own character, he’s also a mouthpiece for the author. He’s written by someone, to say things. Therefore, the things he says have meaning. 

Deku’s point of view might be mistaken. We might see him called out in later chapters. However, it’s odd to see the main character say something like “Enji is trying to be better, and you’re not” because it sounds like the author is trying to use Deku to tell us to sympathize with Enji over Dabi. I’m not even going to call it bad writing, it’s just tone-deaf. It just muddies things. We’re constantly told Deku is a  character who will try to save anyone. A character with an extraordinary drive to save people against all logic. 

We’ve seen in the past Deku to be completely unforgiving to abusers. He’s been also shown to have an extreme reaction to abuse. This is how he reacts to the idea of what Chisaki was doing to Eri. Using a child to experiment on her quirk again and again. That’s... a pretty strong parallel to what Enji did to his entire family. Enji’s actions even directly resulted in the death, either by suicide or training accident of his child Toya.

So it’s not just like “of course Deku would want to save his friend from his murderous older brother”, beyond that it’s just written in a way that muddles Deku’s character motivation. Like just for example, does Deku consider Dabi worthy of the second chance he’s willing to offer Enji? What’s different in that case? What is forgivable and not forgivable? And before any of you say Enji shows a desire to improve himself while Dabi wallows in his own guilt, Dabi’s been like... legally dead and probably homeless for about ten years while Endeavor was rich and secure in his position in society. They’re not... they’re not at the same starting line. Either way, it’s weird, Deku would sympathize with Endeavor and cut off all sympathy for Dabi, considering he at least has taken a strong stance against abuse before. There’s either an in-character reason behind why he’s doing this, which means it’s written as an intentional character flaw or the framing is sloppy. 

(Framing being, using characters and their reactions to events in the story as a guide to show how we’re supposed to react to an event in the story. For example if a character does a bad, often their friends will call them out or say ‘you did a bad thing’ to make it clear we’re not supposed to sympathize with that character at the moment. A story is a painting, and the frame around it draws attention to certain aspects. The frame emphasizes.).

Dabi even says it’s weird not to pity him. Dabi is the direct action of Endeavor’s abuse. Isn’t it sad, that this little kid who just wanted to be a hero was burned alive at some point? 

Just to talk about how it’s written in this case, I think Jujutsu Kaisen does a better job of showing the main character thinking t’s not okay to just lash out at random people and trying to stop them from that behavior, while at the same time recognizing the person they’re dealing with is in pain and that pain deserves to be recognized. 

Junpei is a bullied kid. He starts using his powers to get back at his bullies, and also harm innocent people along the way. Yuji’s first reaction is to try to stop him. 

However, in trying to learn his reasoning behind attacking both the people at his school and also his bullies, Yuji recognizes an important fact: Yuta is in pain because his mother just died yesterday. Yuji and Junpei were both fighting each other before this moment, and yes Yuji doesn’t have to listen to or understand Junpei’s reason why, but Yuji like Deku is characterized as somebody who saves people against all logic. In that moment after it becomes clear that Yuji isn’t just doing this for no good reason, but lashing out in pain, Yuji’s priorities shift. His first priority was to stop the lashing out, now his second one is to offer him a way out. He shows him that there’s a way to deal with his problems besides lashing out. 

There are people willing to listen to you, there are people who can help you. Yuji doesn’t fix Junpei’s problem for him, he just shows him that there’s another way. He acknowledges that Junpei is right to want justice for whoever killed his mom, but the way he’s going about it is wrong, and he can find a better way with them together. Junpei acted this way in the first place, because he believed he couldn’t trust anybody else. He lashed out because he was dealing with the feelings of having lost his only mother literally twelve hours ago all by himself, and trying to pursue justice for her alone too. 

Yuji’s response also tells Junpei he has to stop randomly lashing out at whoever he thought killed his mom, and whoever hurt him. However, he doesn’t tell Junpei that he’s wrong for feeling hurt. He doesn’t dismiss any of Junpei’s problems.

Junpei’s pain is recognized by Yuji, and he’s treated as a person and offered a way out. 

Dabi is instead shut down continually by basically every hero around him, Deku, and Best Jeanist as well. He’s not offered as a way out, everyone’s response is just to try to put him down. 

Yuji actually seriously thinks about how Junpei is feeling and makes a decision on how he should handle him based on those internal feelings. Yuji changes his mind a little bit midway through the fight. We don’t really see the internal reasons for why Deku thinks it’s okay to give Enji a second chance, but not extend the same chance to Dabi. To be clear I think the character of Deku is just fine, however, I would also like the story to dig deeper into his motivations. I would like to see WHY he thinks the things he does or acts the way he does. We see Yuji constantly thinking about the things Deku doesn’t think about, and my response isn’t to hate Deku. I just think Deku would be a better character if we got into his head more. 

[boycottyashahime]

why do these sessr*nners have to twist a beautiful father/daughter relationship into something romantic/sexual? I don't get it, why do people even ship this??? they sound like literal PERVERTS , and i hate when they give those excuses like "he's being shipped with adult rin" BULLSHIT adult Rin doesn't even exist, when the series ended she was still a child. Seriously i can't with those maps.

We live in a world that has a history of letting adult men prey on young girls up to and including the present moment. Abuse like this has always been presented as normal and natural and perfectly fine. Only recently have we begun to understand as a species how these experiences scar and hurt girls for the rest of their lives, but we have centuries of media that presents those experiences in a positive and desirable light. Books upon books upon shows upon movies exist in which young girls are groomed by older men to be their perfect partners, and whole societies at large are still absorbing them every day.

So is it really any surprise when people in the Inuyasha fandom come to expect that outcome for Sesshoumaru and Rin as well? It's actually a perfectly rational assumption; this is just another example in a pattern they've been seeing in media their whole lives. SessRin is thought to be inevitable because in an overwhelming amount of cases like this, it IS inevitable. So when fans of SessRin see US, interpreting the relationship in a totally different way, they think we're crazy, because it seems so obvious to them that Sesshoumaru and Rin will be a couple.

That's why most arguments for this pairing revolve around sources outside the manga and the commonality of this type of relationship in history and other stories; this is what initially convinced the shipper. Any arguments from within the manga tend to revolve around how Sesshoumaru's father and Inuyasha both got together with human women, again, relying more on the perception of a pattern than the content of the relationships. It's clear that this is how it's going to go for Sesshoumaru and Rin too, no matter how differently their relationship is presented to the others. It's just generally how everyone has been conditioned to think about a man interacting with a little girl.

So, even though I know it's difficult to stomach the interpretation for some of us, you have to acknowledge that it IS logical to come to it, in a certain sense. SessRin fans are just using a wider metric to do their interpreting. There are also plenty of other reasons why it might be appealing; the concept of having one person there for you your whole life fulfilling every emotional and physical need can be a tempting daydream, considering we live complicated and messy lives constantly skirting around the liars and the cheats and getting burned by multiple jerks along the way.

I sarcastically reply to the SessRin shippers who send me inflammatory asks and have a bit of fun, but in the end, I don't begrudge them the ship. I'm a big believer in interpreting a story in a way that's meaningful, so however someone drives meaning from it is fine by me. I don't think Sunrise or RT should be able to tell shippers that they're "wrong" or "right" any more than they should tell us the same. It's fiction - there is no truth but to what degree you can relate and draw personal happiness from it.

But I will say that, due to the prevalence of the kind of media that makes this interpretation of older man/young girl relationships a foregone conclusion, we are ALL dealing with a systemic problem of risky and exploitative relationships being normalized and romanticized in such a way as to lower the guard of the young women (and sometimes men) who are engaging with them. Predators have and continue to use fictional relationships to convince their victims that the abuse they experience is perfectly fine. I think that it would behoove the SessRin community to make sure that those in their midst who are young and vulnerable know the warning signs, understand when an older person may be trying to take advantage of them, and encourage drawing a clear line between the fictional ship and real relationships. I also think that if there is someone in the community who, as an older individual, tries to ply the younger members with sexualized content for the pairing and convince them that they should be in a relationship with an older man, those other adults in the community should protect the younger members in any way possible by denouncing and rejecting this behavior. Keeping those most vulnerable in the community safe from those who would take advantage of their interests should be a top priority.

In the meantime, I think that all of us should do their best to create and promote media that features adoptive father-daughter relationships to mitigate the normalization of power imbalance relationships. It would be great if, in the future, a father-daughter interpretation is more plausible to everyone so that there are fewer girls convinced that adult male sexual attention is good and normal, and make them less likely to view it when it happens to them without a critical eye.

One of my favorite father-daughter adoptive relationships in literature is in Les Miserables - Jean Valjean and Cosette. Feel free to list your own on this post, and take care.

[ofdreamsanddoodles]

if you don't mind me asking, how do you deal with consuming content with 'problematic' aspects? for example, i see you reblog posts criticizing things like racism in tma, and you can still make content while being able to recognize those things. it's hard for me to continue enjoying something when it has even 1 thing slightly bad in it, but i know that's not a healthy way to consume content. is there anything you keep in mind when interacting with a given series? u don't need to answer ❤️ ty

also a note on my ask -- of course you don't need to answer, and you aren't a therapist & etc. i just admire your ability to both recognize flaws in works but still enjoy them, and thought since you seem to have critical thinking skills you might have a perspective that you could offer. being on tumblr from a young age seems to have affected my ability to separate things in my mind, lol. thanks so much for reading even if you don't feel comfortable answering.

I mean... you’ve kind of answered your own question? The only way to consume media is to remember that everything has flaws. My brother came by while I was typing this up and told me the answer is to “just vibe” because everyone is more or less terrible in one aspect or another but obviously, that’s not the answer you’re looking for.

I guess the short answer is just... you have to learn how to trust your own set of morals and understand that you shouldn’t feel guilty if a story you like betrays you. And yes, that’s hard, especially when you grow up surrounded by very rigid rules on what’s “okay” to watch, but if you’re just looking for some tips, here’s a list that I hope will help:

Find people you trust and see what they think of the situation. Think about whether or not they’re coming from an informed place. A friend of mine asked me if I knew about a Jewish tradition a while back. I had no idea what they were talking about. Turns out, it was something popular with German Jews. None of my family is from Germany. Sometimes, just being Jewish doesn’t mean I’m the right person to ask.

Find people who are complaining & see why they’re upset. Think about who is annoyed by this and how many of them there are. Think about what they think the proper response is, if any. Think about whether you have the right to wave off their concerns. Think about how those concerns are treated, both in-fandom and by creators. I saw a lot of people in the tma tag complaining about twitter “overreacting” to MAG 185, but if Jonny felt the need to issue an apology and specifically say that he realizes he’s crossed a line, chances are, the complaints were probably warranted (a thing I’d like to add is that apparently, RQ also issued an apology for a fluff episode they released, which I thought was kind of silly, because the episode was essentially just joking about martin forgetting a word. But also, as a neurodivergent person who sometimes struggles with speech, I do understand why that might upset people. not all apologies have to about incredibly important topics, but even the ones who aren’t show a lot about the cast behind it. Alternatively, if RQ had only apologized for this episode, and not MAG 185, that also says a lot about where there priorities are, and what fans they care about keeping)

Think about what will happen if you continue watching/reading etc. It’s not so much “is it okay if I keep watching this?” but “if I continue to watch this, will I convince myself that this problematic aspect isn’t actually a big deal? Is it so ingrained in the show that I can’t watch an episode without seeing the problems in it? What will I say to others, if they want to watch this?” For example, if someone sees you’ve reblogged a scene from a show you like and asks what it’s about, how many excuses are you going to give? How many trigger warnings are there, and can you justify them? There’s a difference between a piece of media having a character say homophobic slurs, and a piece of media saying a gay person should have homophobic slurs thrown at them.  Also: If you think you cant justify getting someone else interested, you probably shouldn’t justify contributing to the show. This might be obvious, but there’s a very big difference in pirating a tv show and buying its merch. 

Think about the fandom. If you continue talking about this, who are you surrounding yourself with? Like, there are a LOT of weirdos making content for kids shows, but that doesn’t always mean the show itself is weird. What it does mean, though, is that you should be careful navigating your enjoyment. Sometimes, the only way to enjoy something is to talk about it with a select few friends. Sometimes, it’s to enjoy it by yourself. I do believe it’s possible to enjoy a show in spite of the canon, but at the same time, if you’re watching a show that’s attracting a lot of racists, think about why that might be. 

some more thoughts under the cut, because I already wrote them out before I realized I could just make a list.

The thing about consuming media is that it’s very subjective. I know a lot of people who have given up on tma recently and while that’s not wholly because it’s “problematic,” it definitely plays a part in it. People have different meters for what they can excuse in media. The important thing to remember is WHY they left, and if you’re able to keep that in your mind while also continuing to engage in contact with the media. Will you be able to remember that Daisy traumatized Jon more than any other avatar if you consume context calling her Basira’s hot murderwife? Can you talk about the Flesh and acknowledge the racism in the creation of the Haans?

Personally, I don’t think you can produce positive content about Daisy and also acknowledge the harm she causes. You can’t point at a character and say, yes, she has committed actual police brutality, but I think she deserves a cute lesbian romance anyway. That’s not really a thing tma has done wrong as much as it is a problem with the fandom, but like, at the end of the day, it’s all just a matter of critical thinking. Who is being hurt by these portrayals of the characters? How? Most of the problems with tma aren’t things that are, like, baked into the actual worldbuilding and for a lot of people, that’s enough for them to still justify making content for the show.

If your complaints sound like “oh, if only they didn’t do xy, this would make for a good show,” then you’re probably fine. But if it goes into “i like this, but only if I can ignore (major plot point)” think about why you feel the need to keep watching. There are shows I’ve stopped watching based on principle. There’s manga I read that I only talk about with my brother and no one else, because I don’t want to be exposed to the fans. It doesn’t have to be as simple as “well, this artist did a bad thing, so now I’m going to ignore it forever.” If you think the creators of something are bad people, don’t support them. You can still pirate it or whatever, but if it’s something like hetalia, where the point of the show is just “let’s put all these stereotypes in a room and see how they react” then yes, for your own sake, you should stop watching because this is how stereotypes become normalized, and no one should be consuming media where nazi germany as the protagonist.

Really, at the end of the day, it’s just a matter of becoming media literate and that’s a process that takes time. Remember that being interested in something that isn’t 100% doesn’t make you a bad person, and listen to the people around you. Try and be a safe space for the people who do have complaints and remember not to place your enjoyment of something over the comfort of others. Other than that, just... do your best, I guess?

[hellowkatey]

post-finale thoughts on the bad batch below the cut

[I'm specifically focusing on story and characters. this doesn't even begin to address the issues with their animation design, coloring, and the whole lot of racial, stereotypical, and ableist themes that show up, they are important to be aware of and speak out against. resources that I have found helpful are linked.]

@revenge-of-the-shit has a great compendium with lots of resources for both TBB and SW as a whole | change.org petition

okay.

As a SW fan, I am no stranger to putting up with meh writing because of my love for the characters. I love found family and I love the protective space dad trope with all my being, so TBB caught me by the hyperfixation... but not until the last few episodes of the season.

I loved Echo and Tech from the beginning. As someone who is neurodivergent, I relate to Tech a lot. And I've had a soft spot for Echo since TCW. Wrecker and Omega are more neutral for me. I like them but don't connect to them as much. My like for Hunter decreased as the season progressed, and I disliked Crosshair until episode 15. After part 1 of the finale, I went back and rewatched TCW backdoor pilot and actually began to understand Crosshair.

Coming into the 2nd part of the finale, I sort of expected them to discover Crosshair still had his chip despite claiming to already have it removed, remove it, and they fly off in the Marauder into the sunset, brothers again.

Obviously that is not what happened. But I'm not mad about that. I'm actually glad this didn't happen, though it hurt to see that wide shot of Crosshair standing alone on the platform as his brothers flew away.

I do think Crosshair still has his chip. I think the Empire tricked him into thinking they removed it. It's a mind game. Because Crosshair thinks he had the chip removed, he stops fighting the impulses to support the Empire over his team. He genuinely believes he has chosen this.

And, because Crosshair by nature is severe and unyielding (as Tech says), his natural personality is not far off from the aggression and standoffish shift that chipped clones display. But compared to how Crosshair was in TCW and the first episode, he's definitely not all there imo. The fact he remained loyal to the Empire after they destroyed Kamino with him on it (and the scenes of him still having headaches-- I mean, hello, how did the boys miss that??) is why I believe he is still chipped.

But I am glad Crosshair did not go with them even though it messes up the premise of a fic I wrote between ep. 15 and 16 (rip). The finale was important for bringing the boys back together so they can see they all still care about one another, but there's a difference in ideology. And there's a breach of trust on both sides.

Crosshair needs to see for himself that the Empire has been manipulating him and he needs to come to that conclusion on his own. The Bad Batch, mainly Hunter, needs to realize that they did abandon their brother because as soon as they figured out about the inhibitor chips their primary mission should have been getting Crosshair out of there.

In terms of the conflict between Crosshair & himself and Crosshair & The Bad Batch, I think the show did a good job. It's an extremely complex issue, and they depicted the characters as true humans that make mistakes and have to atone for them. I hope season 2 focuses on what they need to work on individually to be ready to come back together as a team.

That is why I think I watched the show but didn't really connect to it until we actually got back to the main conflict from the first episode.

But this was a 16-episode season. They filled half a season with cameos and odd-jobs which were hardly used it to advance the characters' arcs. (At least when the Mandalorian S2 did this, the cameos contributed to the journey in some way.)

Tech, Echo, and Wrecker basically got no development when there were lots of opportunities to explore this-- I mean, we have Echo who was a POW, the last of his squad, pretty well acquainted with the Jedi, and the only "reg" among them. Before he was taken by the Techno Union, he was a huge advocate of following orders and doing things by the books. I feel like he would have had a hard time with learning about the chips and Fives' death amongst other things. Tech and Crosshair were depicted working together a lot in TCW, and he is one of the few that (sort of) defends Crosshair in the finale, but that dynamic isn't explored much either. And Wrecker's chip actually activated and he hurts his brothers. Yet, there's not really any sort of fallout there either. I also feel like they alluded to Omega having some sort of special ability at the beginning and then we just never touched on it again.

I point out these things not just as a fan, but as someone who studied writing and storytelling in college. You can have your round and flat, dynamic and static characters, but they still should have a complete arc. And they all can't be flat. Especially as being part of the main cast. I think they focused mainly on external struggles and forgot about the internal ones, which would have been much more profound. If The Bad Batch was an anthology of their missions during TCW I would be a little more forgiving of the mission-to-mission episode format, but this immediately following Order 66. One of the most emotional moments in the SW franchise.

Don't get me wrong, I loved moments of the show. It's inspired me enough to read (and write) fic for it. And I've read some really kick ass writing that has fulfilled a lot of the desires I had for the show in terms of addressing internal conflict and character development. I'm well acquainted with the fandom by this point to know emotional depth is not often a priority in SW. But I did not expect the show to lack basic character development for main characters. I've browsed The Bad Batch AO3 tag a few times now, and a very large portion has to do with creating character development and backstory that doesn't exist in canon yet. I think that says a lot on its own.

This is long so I'll stop but my overall opinion of the show is bittersweet. If someone asked me what I thought of it in one sentence, I would say "it has potential". But since S2 is confirmed, it sounds like they should have time to see fan responses, take the valid criticisms to heart, and I think TBB has the potential to join the club of a beloved SW show with a rough first season.

[nicolinocolino]

Marti x Nico fic rec list

Inspired by: 1) the ask I got requesting nicotino fic recs 2) the lack of fic rec posts in this fandom and 3) my own procrastination

my personal favorites are marked with a ★

explicit fics are marked (E)

and incomplete chaptered fics are marked with ✐

canon-compliant/divergent & post-canon & slice of life

Martinese by ginnyred ★ summary: Nico has always been fairly good at languages.

Londra A/R by ginnyred ★ summary: i miss you already. Or, Marti leaves on a four-day school trip to London.

tre giorni by akmongs ★ summary: "I think this summer is going to be good." Snippets of Marti and Nico's life over three days.

maybe... by Princess_sized summary: Hi! I didn’t like the idea of Marti being so upset after the fundraiser and not seeing any kind of resolution for him so... here ya go! Ele’s POV because it’s her season, of course.

Matched by ginnyred summary: When Marti told him the five-a-side football tournament began in two weeks, Nico smiled gently and said: “That's great. Is Chinese okay for dinner?” With hindsight, he might have underestimated the whole thing a little bit.

tell me what you need by crucios (E) summary: There's something a little off-kilter tonight that Marti can't pinpoint. Nico's smile doesn't quite reach his eyes and there's a strained and anxious sort of energy thrumming through him. Like it's just under the surface of his skin but hasn't quite broken through.

quicken the heart by crucios summary: The words come spilling out a bit like a cup clumsily overflowing. Marti can feel his cheeks heat up a little. It's not even that he's embarrassed. Not really. It's Nico. He can tell Nico anything. It's just... a strange thing to hear himself say. Before Nico he had never properly imagined that he would ever be this intimate with someone—intimate enough to be able to have conversations like this.

clean breaks by ladyballs_and_manboobs summary: Mamma Rametta angst or Nicotino angst? Why not both!

let me face hurricanes by ladyballs_and_manboobs summary: Martino's courage is tested.

he ain't heavy by ladyballs_and_manboobs summary: Chapter 1: Gio reflects on Marti's confession (Episode 6) Chapter 2: Gio becomes the Love Magician (Episode 7) Chapter 3: Gio gets to know Marti's boyfriend better (Episode 8) Chapter 4: Gio takes care of his boys after the fight (S3)

Old Flames by claudinedelyon summary: Through sheer bad luck, Martino never receives Nico's post-its or the antidote. The next time they see each other, ten years have passed and they are back in very familiar territory.

don't know where you start, and where i begin by akmongs (E) summary: Marti thinks another reason why they have anticipated this trip so much is this. Having a hotel room to themselves for five nights. No one else's schedule dictating how much time they have. No one interrupting them. No biting his hand to keep quiet when Nico slips a hand in his boxers while his mom is sleeping next door. Just the two of them, alone in a room with a double bed and what feels like endless hours to spend wrapped in each other.

Forget The World Outside by givemesumaurgravy summary: “Stay with me,” Niccolò says, and it’s not so much a question as a request, one that Martino could never deny him. Martino would stay forever if Niccolò let him. Or, what happens after the pool kiss scene.

Buttons by Princess_sized summary: “I know it sounds crazy, but I never meant to hurt you.” Or, Marti starts wearing his shirts buttoned all the way up sometime between the end of their 3rd year and the start of 4th. This is why.

pda (private displays of affection) by lamourestout summary: s3 ep2 missing scene (except not really since it's not marti's season anymore) but after nico whispered to marti and they left while ele and eva were talking aka making out in edoardo incanti's guest bedroom because they're very in love with each other

Unforgivable by ginnyred summary: There is a moment, it lasts maybe a couple of seconds, in which Marti wonders if Nico has been listening to him at all. But then Nico looks at him. Really, really looks at him and Marti knows he knows. “What is it that you're ashamed of?” Nico asks, kind but resolute. He kisses his forehead and holds Marti's face in his hands. “Betraying your friend's trust? Or the feelings you had for him?” Marti tells Gio, but first he tells Nico.

alternate universe:

Nico the fitness trainer AU by ladyballs_and_manboobs ★ ✐ summary: Martino has to take pilates classes with the girls after losing a bet to Elia. It doesn't turn out as bad as he feared.

For art's sake by ginnyred ★ summary: Being an art critic, Marti thought he knew what posh artists were like. Not bothering to show up at one's own art opening has got to be a new low, though.

focal point by GiuliaMed ★ summary: Finding new friends is Niccolò's priority after changing schools, but somewhere along the line, one of the four boys he meets becomes more important. Snapshots of Nico slowly falling in love.

Mezzo Forte by silver_etoile summary: Martino knows falling for a straight guy is bad news, but his heart just doesn't seem to listen.

but nothing ever stops you leaving by akmongs (E) summary: Nico moves to Milan after university. Marti doesn't cope as well as he thought he would. Over a month since they last saw each other, he decides to book a train and surprise him.

Threading the Needle by claudinedelyon summary: Anybody who has so much as met Martino could probably tell fashion is not his biggest passion in life. But he has rent and bills to pay so he will happily take the position offered by Brava, a small but growing clothing company. The fact that the job turns out not as crappy as he feared and that the people working there welcome him with open arms, those are all perks that just make his life easier. And the presence of one dark-haired designer who seems to draw great amusement from his lack of knowledge or interest in the company's line of business, well, it's something else entirely.

Do you Feel a Comma in your Heart? by claudinedelyon summary: Martino is a professional, somewhat experienced, translator. He's worked with all kinds of proofers before, and it's mostly gone well. And then, he's introduced to the new proofer who is working with him on his latest project and has got green eyes, an infectious smile and opinions on the proper use of commas.

Io non ci credo, alle giraffe by Akira14 ✐ summary: Once upon a time, there was a boy who couldn’t sleep. This is the story of his quest for a cure, for the song of a wounded soul and the tears of a mythical creature. And what if he finds love, along the way? Love... Everybody seems so obsessed with that, but Martino had seen with his own eyes how dangerous, how painful, it was to fall for someone and he would rather avoid it. Will he?

Bewitched by ginnyred summary: Marti looks down at himself. Long, lean pianist fingers that are not his at all. He's swimming in his blue t-shirt, suddenly a lot slimmer. He puts his hands in his hair and it's weird because the feeling is familiar, but the angle is wrong. He touches his face, the long line of his nose, his jaw and prominent cheekbones. “What the fuck?” he whispers, looking up again, and his own voice startles him with how deep it is. “I'm you!”

———

PLEASE ADD TO THIS WITH ITALIAN FICS I BEG OF Y’ALL

[fandom-necromancer]

Finding a new Home 2

Now to the second part! Enjoy!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: Violence)

[Part 1]

It had been a few weeks now that RK900 – Richard he had been named – had become part of Detroit’s police department. The human he had met was here too, they were partnered up and he had a mission with clear orders. He was needed. He could work in his intended function. It was all he ever wanted. The prize to pay was a lie: keeping up the appearance to be the inferior RK800. But as that had been an order of his handler Gavin Reed, it was easy to follow.

Also, he had never been forced to act out that particular order. Everyone he had met was just assuming him to be a RK800. Once someone had asked him why he had grey eyes instead of brown ones, but Gavin had had his back and just told them he liked his eyes better that way. It was… curious how loyal the human was. He stayed at his side whenever he wasn’t sleeping, going to the bathroom or being called by someone. Richard didn’t quite understand it other than they were assigned partners and… friends? He liked the man. As he had stated before he had wished to work with someone competent and Gavin Reed was just that. Intelligent, fast thinking and devoted to his job. It was an efficiency Richard appreciated and preferred.

His life was far more interesting now and he was thankful for the human to give him the chance. He didn’t know why Gavin was doing it, but Richard was determined to give him something back. So, when the human asked him whether he wanted to accompany him and Tina to a bar instead of staying alone at Gavin’s home, he gladly accepted. There was no logical reason to accompany him, but his handler liked his company and RK900 was happy when Gavin was.

And as the human leaned against him during their stay at the bar and later for support, maybe the System Instability he experienced wasn’t as quickly quarantined and patched as normally. His simulated emotions towards this human were strong and Gavin seemed to think the same way. Physical contact became more frequent and less hidden. The human leaning against him when tired, patting his shoulder when walking past their desks, cuddling at home and sleeping in the same bed, it just felt right. Richard wouldn’t have it any other way. He liked having Gavin as his handler. The human understood his wishes and needs and what went against his moral compass. And Gavin acted accordingly. Although they had told him he couldn’t deviate and never be free, he felt free. The red walls had never been in his way.

-

‘Hey, Richard?’ ‘Yes Gavin?’ ‘I… You…’ Richard smiled and waited patiently. ‘Ah, phck it, would it be okay if I kissed you?’ The human turned around in bed to face him. ‘It’s okay if it’s not, I mean I’m your handler and stuff. Just… I really wanna.’ ‘Do I have the permission to kiss you?’, he asked similarly careful but with a grin. ‘Yes’, Gavin said and moved closer, so Richard could cross the final distance. Richard pressed his lips on Gavin’s, cherishing the flood of information at his sensors.

‘What are we?’, Gavin asked, as they parted again. ‘I want to know I don’t force you into anything.’ Richard rested his hand on his jaw. ‘We are whatever we want to be’, he said. ‘I trust you to know what I want or ask when you don’t.’ ‘Then tell me what you wish for’, Gavin demanded, and Richard gladly obliged this mission. ‘I want you. I want this. I want us.’ At this the human sighed in relief. ‘Good. Because it’s the same with me.’

-

Richard felt like this was peak existence. He didn’t know enough to be sure, but he had never felt better. He had purpose and challenge in his life. He saw new things every day, and his processor was occupied with a thousand different details. But he also had a human looking out for him, giving him the space, he needed and staying close enough for company. It was interesting. It was safe. He highly preferred it over the dark basement.

Gavin had come around to sit on his desk and drink his coffee, blocking the view to the screen. Just like his cat, Richard thought, indulging the silent call for attention of what he had labelled as his boyfriend/love. ‘Do you need assistance?’, the android asked. ‘Hmm, nah, don’t think so.’ ‘I would be more useful if I could see the screen.’ ‘You can interface with it, so clearly you just decided to have this conversation as pretence.’ ‘Brilliant deduction, Detective. What makes you think I don’t interface and talk with you?’ Gavin leaned down to whisper: ‘I know I always got your undivided attention.’

That much was true, Richard thought as he pushed Connors communication prompt away. His handler had priority and he hadn’t yet stated what he needed. Connor was determined though. Richard continued to ignore it. Until Gavin’s phone pinged and the human looked at the new message. ‘Shit!’, he called, wanting to slip from the table, but not even hitting the floor before the door to the bullpen opened. They both looked towards the newly arriving people: Connor with Markus, Simon and North. The leaders of Jericho. Richard quickly accessed the messages Connor had sent. They were here to help with a murder that had happened on the grounds of New Jericho, an android refuge centre.

Connor did his best to divert their attention from Richard, but of course, Markus spotted him, walking over followed by his friends. ‘Oh, Connor, I didn’t know there was another unit working here!’, Markus said in surprise. ‘Hmm, yeah, he was found at Cyberlife just a few weeks ago’, Gavin spoke up, trying to hide his nervousness. ‘He’s my partner now, Richard is his name.’ ‘Markus, we really have to hurry, I got the room only for an hour’, Connor too tried his best to get the small procession away from the android. ‘I’m coming, Connor’, Markus reassured but didn’t turn to follow his statement. Instead he held out his hand in a greeting. ‘Hi, I’m Markus! Good to see a fellow RK found their way into society!’

Richard knew it was wrong to do, but maybe it was just a handshake? It would be far more suspicious for him not to take it. So, he reached out, hoping for the best. Markus gripped his hand and of course, established superficial contact like it was common in androids. Immediately he stepped back as if burned and looked at Richard as if he was about to transform in some sort of monster. It all happened in a matter of seconds, likely over some private network between the Jericho androids, but as soon as Markus recoiled, North sprung to action stepping in front of him and shooting at Richard, who hadn’t moved at all, relying on Gavin to act, order him away to safety or to defend himself. Instead, the human stood there in shock as the bullet connected with Richard’s chest.

Only when Gavin saw the blue blood stick to his clothes, he started forwards to pry the gun from North’s fingers. He threw it towards Connor, trusting him to handle the situation. He had more important things to care for. ‘Rich! Richard, state your status!’ ‘Biocomponent #817-a to #795 damaged. Thirium leakage detected. Thirium pump damaged. Prolonged activity leads to critical damage and deactivation. Report back to Cyberlife immediately.’ Gavin shook his head. ‘Yeah, not gonna do that, but I know the next best thing. Can you walk?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Then come on. We’ll get you patched up, all will be fine, come.’

‘This… I don’t understand, this is a RK900, he should be decommissioned’, Markus stammered as he followed the two hurrying outside with his eyes, followed by Tina and Chris. ‘What did you think?’, Connor near screamed, rarely that emotional. ‘Yes, so he is a RK900! What’s your problem?’ ‘He is a threat’, North hissed. ‘The deviant exterminator! A machine that can’t be deviated.’ ‘Well, I am the deviant hunter!’, Connor held against the argument. ‘And he just sat there, I didn’t saw any threat there! Now, if you excuse me, I need to make sure my brother survives!’

-

As it turned out, heading for Elijah’s home was one of the best ideas Gavin had had so far. It was closer than Cyberlife and Elijah was eager to help. Gavin followed Elijah down to the lab with the Chloes, Tina and Chris establish an impromptu police barricade at the front door. It had been quick thinking, as Connor had tailed them and the leaders of Jericho had insisted of coming too for an explanation.

Gavin had thought of something like this to happen sometime, but he had always hoped the law would have changed by then or at least if it was unveiled no one would bet an eye. But deviant exterminator? That was something he had not expected. Not with how soft the RK900 had always been. It just sounded… ridiculous.

They had helped Richard on the table. ‘Thirium levels… below 30%. Thirium pump condition… critical’, the android muttered mechanically. Then he rolled his head to the side. ‘Gav…in.’ ‘I’m here RK’, Gavin hurried to say, taking his hand. ‘I’m here, we are at Elijah’s. He will get you patched up, nothing to worry about.’ ‘Gav… I’m scared.’ ‘You don’t have to’, Gavin cooed, squeezing his hand. ‘My brother knows what he’s doing. And he has all the parts. I’m here for you. I love you. All will be good.’ ‘What… What should I do?’, the android asked. Direction. He asked for a new mission. Gavin looked to Elijah, who nodded, mouthing stasis. ‘Just go to sleep, Richard. We will wake you up again once you are better. Don’t worry, you will be fine and then we will kick some asses, okay? You will be fine, my love.’ Richard nodded, swallowed and closed his eyes. As he went rigid in stasis, Gavin could have cried. Not dead, not dead, not dead. In stasis. For repairs. It was difficult to accept. Apparently, Elijah sensed his distress. ‘Gavin, I need my space for this, okay? Why don’t you go up and begin kicking some ass? I will get him back on his feet.’ Gavin nodded, understanding the gentle but direct message to leave. Oh, he would give those plastics a hand full, the problem would be keeping him from literal bloodshed.

‘No, you don’t understand. He was never programmed with-‘ ‘What the shit were you thinking, shooting my damn partner and nearly killing him?!’, Gavin shouted over the already loud conversation in the cold winter day outside Elijah’s villa. ‘What the hell is wrong with you people? I thought you were so keen on being pacifist little shits and shoving humanity their mistakes in the face? What happened to that bullshit, huh? I demand answers!’ He was this close to throw hands, especially with the woman with the loose trigger finger, but he wanted to at least give them the chance to justify their actions. ‘He is a threat to all of androidkind!’, North shouted back. ‘He shouldn’t even be active!’ ‘A threat? Richard? Lady, have you seen him? He is the most precious phcking person on this planet, the only thing he is interested in is a good case to solve and for the things to stay the way they were before you phcked it all up!’ ‘He can’t be deviated!’ ‘Do you see anyone here who gives two shits about that?’, Gavin asked. ‘He is bound to his orders, yes, but I give them. He isn’t some murder machine, you total idiots. If I tell him to bring me a coffee, he will and if I tell him to kill someone, he would do so, but that’s the thing: I don’t!’

That silenced them for a while. ‘You are his handler?’, Markus asked. ‘He does what you say?’ ‘Yes’, Gavin hissed. ‘That’s slavery.’ That’s it, Gavin was about to beat his knuckles bloody on this plastic prick’s face. ‘Gavin, calm down, please’, Connor interrupted, leading to the exact opposite. ‘Markus, I knew of this. In fact, I took part in getting Richard on the force. And I can assure you, what these two have going is far from what you think. I don’t believe it myself, but this human is capable of giving a non-deviant more freedom than some deviants have with their partners. And he isn’t a threat. Do you really think I would have allowed it otherwise?’

Markus looked towards Gavin, then back at Connor. ‘I trust you. Just…’ ‘I honestly thought you would be more understanding’, Gavin sighed. ‘You all were machines once. Somehow, I doubt you ever thought of yourselves as not alive, right? Why deny him the right?’

Another sheepish silence was his answer, until his phone pinged with a new message. ‘Alright, Con, I trust you to get these jackasses away from here, because I promised Richard some ass-kicking when he awakes and I don’t know how his systems took to that. I’ll go see my love now, you better be gone by the time I’m back!’

[zigtheeortega]

unrequited [part 2]

✿ pairing: bryce x mc

✿ word count: 3941

✿ tags: @senatorraines​ ; @nickyvalentinos​ ; @violinet​ ; @messofakind​ ; @roguemal​ ; @adrixnrxines​ ; @t-yril​ ; @bobbysmckenzie​ ; @luckyferrero​ ; @litgpop​ ; @brycelahelas​

✿ author’s note: i didn’t really think i’d be writing a part two, but from the encouragement from my friends, and the initial idea and push from @diamondsless​, i thought i’d write it and dedicate it to her as a birthday gift! happy birthday to one of the sweetest souls in this fandom who never ceases to amaze me with her writing and her acts of kindness. i hope you have an incredible day and that this fic is a pick-me-up, even though it’s angst.

also, thank you to the asexies for reading and giving me ideas and criticisms. y’all are my ride or dies! i love y’all so much. btw, this takes place a couple days after part 1, which you should probably read before this. anyways, i hope you enjoy! (let me know if i should do a part 3)

––––

Bryce’s words wrapped around her heart like the tendrils of a wild plant, squeezing until the pain in her chest was too much to bear. The vines of his anger and despair snaked up to her throat, clenching her windpipe, silencing her when she saw his face in the hallways of the hospital.

When she got a glimpse of his smile across the cafeteria or in passing in the hall, the ghost of Bryce’s shattered expression clouded her mind, and she flinched every single time.

She caught herself staring at the pads of her fingers too often during the passing days, the vivid memory of the way he deflected from her touch burned into her memory. 

It played on loop, torturing her from the moment she stepped onto the grounds of Edenbrook, to the moment she closed her eyes at night. But even then, she rarely found solace in her dreams, as they usually took no definable form, the indiscernible feelings of desperation and agony gripping her even in the dream realm. 

The roommate group chat exploded throughout her last morning shift of the week, last minute details of an intern-attending party filling her lock screen. Her thoughts had been focused solely on the conversation in the closet, so much so that she lost track of the days following and the party had completely slipped her mind.

The weekend had come before she realized it, a welcome distraction from the ghost of Bryce’s pained expression.

Nothing could’ve prepared her for the feeling of seeing Bryce across the room with someone else. He’d strolled into the room, smooth and relaxed as usual, with his arm around a beautiful woman.

She hadn’t expected seeing him with someone else to elicit such a visceral reaction, but it did.

She clenched the solo cup, crumpling the plastic until the sides split, and it took Sienna calling her name to bring her to. The cheap red wine dripped down her arms, staining the forearms of her henley top.

It was her favorite, because it was his favorite.

The wine dripped onto her jeans, blotches of red covering her thighs. Her friends were staring, but Sienna had already jumped into action, gently taking the cup from her hands.

The sudden change of volume had made its way to the doorway, and Bryce locked eyes with her, his dark embers burning through her own.

Sienna guided her towards the hallway to Spencer’s bedroom, the silence between them full of knowing.

Once she was in her room, Sienna hugged her softly. “I’m so sorry, Spence. I had no clue he was bringing her. If I knew, I would’ve warned you.”

“I know. You don’t have to apologize,” she smiled weakly, before hesitating. “Who is she?” Did she even want to know?

“Just some girl he met on Tinder,” she said reassuringly. “They barely know each other.”

Had he rebounded so quickly for his own gratification? Or to make her jealous?

“It’ll be okay,” Sienna smiled warmly, and Spencer mirrored it willingly. Sienna was her sunshine, a consistent ray of light through her worst days.

Sienna waited until she was out of her wine stained clothes before leaving with them, insisting that they were still salvageable.

Spencer slipped on her favorite party outfit from their first housewarming party, the one she wore before she first felt him bucking beneath her within the confines of her bedroom.

If he wanted to play a game, she could play, too.

It was childish, but she had to know if he was truly moving on, or if he had come with a date solely to torture her.

She emerged from her room, heart pounding, purse over her shoulder. They were low on alcohol anyways, and the night had barely begun. She slipped out of the front door undetected, so she’d have time to rehearse what she wanted to say to him on the way to the liquor store down the street.

What could she even say to him that would have any substance? The damage she left was irreversible in her eyes. Even if he forgave her, he’d always remember the times he was her last priority.

It should have taken her a couple of minutes to buy the cheap liquor and chasers, but as she ambled through the aisles, a memory of her and Bryce volunteering to restock the alcohol to keep the party going flitted through her mind.

Behind the rack of red wine, he stole a kiss from her lips, her tinted lip gloss glimmering on the warm bronze of his own. 

“Your lips look like a medal,” she giggled, rubbing her thumb across his bottom lip.

“Hopefully you mean gold because you know I’m not third place material,” he grinned, leaning in to kiss her again.

His words haunted her.

It was a premonition, although she thought nothing of it at the time.

She’d done nothing but push him away, making him an afterthought that was saved for the days she was feeling particularly lonely. She couldn’t help but feel guilty for thinking it was normal to fool around with three separate men with zero repercussion.

It was only a matter of time before they became tired with the game she was playing. She never intended to toy with their emotions, but she had wounded each of them in some way.

She twisted the knife each time she shared an intimate moment, kiss, embrace, with either of them, and pretended like it hadn’t happened.

She gripped the large paper bag, and trudged back towards the apartment, the crisp Boston air chilling her exposed skin.

She rounded the corner, bumping straight into Bryce. The bag slipped from her hands, crashing onto the pavement, the bottles of wine, vodka, and tequila spilling across the concrete. It splashed onto her legs, soaking through her jeans and shoes.

“For fucks sake,” she huffed, shaking off the droplets that somehow managed to land on her arms. “I just bought those.”

If she wasn’t so frustrated, she would’ve been a stammering mess. She met his gaze, a grimace contorting his features. He shook his leg, flicking off his alcohol-soaked shoes.

“Sorry, Spence. I thought you might need some help carrying them up, but I guess I made it worse,” he chuckled. “Here, let’s go back, and you show me exactly what you got. I’ll buy.”

“Yeah, I’d hope so. I can’t go back empty handed,” she sighed, reaching down to pick up the brown bag, now dripping maroon, tossing the larger glass pieces into it.

“Hey, don’t pick up the glass. I’d hate to have to patch you up –”

“Why did you follow me out here, Bryce? Really?” She wheeled on him, practically snarling. Her own voice sounded foreign. She’d never spoken to Bryce with that tone before.

His brows furrowed, his friendliness disappearing, replaced with a cold expression that he saved for especially bad days. Bryce Lahela hated virtually no one. She might’ve been the first.

“As soon as I walked in, you bolted. I came out here to check on you.”

“You wanted to come talk to me when you can barely look at me?”

His eyes narrowed to nearly a squint. “I knew you couldn’t keep it from your roomies. Who’d you tell?”

“You’re deflecting.”

“I’ll get to the question. Who’d you tell?”

“I didn’t tell anyone –”

“That’s bullshit, Spencer.”

“They have brains, Bryce,” she said incredulously. “You’ve blatantly been acting differently towards me. You think our friends – who have MDs by the way – are dumb enough to overlook that major detail?”

He pressed a hand over his mouth and dragged down, before gesturing wildly. “I wanted some space! Is that too much to ask?”

“No. It’s not,” she said. “But you can’t expect to treat me differently and expect our friends not to put two and two together. You can’t have the best of both worlds.”

She turned away, speed walking down the empty street, goosebumps raised on her skin, the chilly wind freezing her wet pant legs.

“Whoa, hold on, time out,” he called, jogging alongside her. “You’re telling me that I can’t have the best of both worlds? You’re one to talk.”

“You haven’t even spoken to me since that day,” she said vaguely, ignoring her own hypocrisy.

“Yeah, because I wanted space. I still don’t get why that’s too much to ask of you,” he said, every word tinged with disbelief.

She had no reason to be upset with him. But the guilt and the anger and the jealousy had consumed her. She knew she wasn’t being fair, but she couldn’t help but argue with him.

“Again, It’s not a lot to ask. But why did you go out of your way to bring someone to my home?” She said, staring straight ahead, refusing to watch his face. She was instigating him, but she couldn’t stop herself. 

“I’m seeing someone, and I thought I’d introduce her to my friends. It’s not that hard to understand.”

“Bryce, it’s been four fucking days since you told me you wanted to move on,” she gestured wildly. “I didn’t think you’d move on that fast, much less try to introduce me to her!”

“I get it. You’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, Bryce, I’m just frustrated!” she cried, stopping abruptly in front of the store.

“Oh so you’re allowed to get frustrated with me because I’m trying to move on, but I’m not allowed to be upset that you’re yelling at me for trying to move on?”

“No, because I know what you’re trying to do here Bryce. You didn’t come here to move on, you came here to try to make me jealous.”

“So you admit that you’re jealous.”

“No, I’m saying you’re trying to make me jealous.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth. That’s not what I came here for, but I’m glad it’s getting under your skin,” Bryce scoffed, rolling his eyes.

They stood in a tense silence, outside of the liquor store, nothing but the sound of the wind whooshing past the corner of the brick wall between them.

“What did you come to this party for then, huh? You wanted to get away from me. You wanted some distance. So you came to my home with… with her –” she spat, pointing a finger into his chest, “– and expected me not to be upset?”

“God, Spencer, do you really only ever think of yourself?” He stomped to the front door of the store, and opened it, angrily gesturing for her to walk in.

“Yeah, maybe bringing her here was a mistake. But I’m trying to move on. You can’t try to hold me back because you can’t decide if you want me or not.”

The wind was knocked out of her, the familiar feeling of a restricted windpipe wrapping around her like a worn sweater. This time, she fought through it.

Bryce trudged to the back of the store, near the tall wine racks – the ones that she could never reach on the top shelf, but he’d always grab it for her and tease her for it.

“You know I’ve thought about you every second since you pulled me into that closet, right? I’ve been wracked with guilt and anger towards myself, and you’re not to blame for that at all,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes, but she willed them away. She didn’t want his sympathy. “I’ve spent every day mulling over every interaction we’ve ever had and I’ve picked apart every single thing I can remember that I’ve said to you.”

“You don’t think I’ve done the same thing, Spencer? I wondered why nothing I’d ever said got your attention. If I made you laugh, did you think twice about it?”

“Yes, I did.” she blinked tears back. “I just didn’t think of you enough. And I’m sorry. I know nothing I can say will take away how deeply I’ve hurt you, but you can’t just try to get back at me so I can feel the same way you did.”

He was dumbfounded. He watched her face, his mouth parted. 

“I know my pain right now is nothing in comparison to what you feel, and I’d never ever try to make this about me. But I’m hurting, and I’m trying to move on, too. You bringing her here isn’t doing me any favors.”

He reached out, grazing the pads of his fingers on her jaw.

She flinched before she even realized it. “I’m sorry Bryce. I don’t think this is a good idea. Your date is waiting back at my apartment, and we need to get back. I wouldn’t want to keep her waiting,” she chuckled weakly, eyes on the ground.

“Spencer… I…”

She turned to the bottles behind her, pretending to browse while she furiously blinked the tears away. She turned back, a smile on her face. “Got the drinks! You can hold them though. I know how much your party god status means to you.”

He watched her, eyebrows knitted together, guilt laced through his features. He was visibly holding back, his inner turmoil plain to see.

They were nearly silent on the way back, the weight of their situation keeping them from their candid nature.

She was used to Bryce wearing his heart on his sleeve, his unshakeable confidence front and center. His familiar grin and spontaneity were stripped down, replaced with an expression she could only describe as uncertain.

They walked back into the packed apartment, a bass boosted song reverberating through the borrowed speakers. Her roommates, the rest of the second years, and the interns greeted them warmly, a few people swarming Bryce and her as they unloaded the bags of alcohol.

People she barely recognized asked her to take shots, and she gladly accepted. Normally, she’d pace herself, but after seeing Bryce return to the woman’s side, she wanted to forget the entire night.

A couple shots of tequila later, Spencer was seated on the couch, giggling uncontrollably at a joke she barely heard.

Sienna scooted closer to her, leaning into her ear to whisper. “Don’t react to what I’m about to say.”

She nodded, concentrating hard on keeping a straight face. “Bryce keeps looking at you from the balcony. He’s barely paid attention to his date since you got back.”

She turned, catching him just as he glanced away from her. He wrapped his arm around his date’s waist, his fingers slipping just enough under her fabric to make her bite her lip…

Spencer’s stomach lurched, and she leapt up from the couch, worsening the nausea. “I’m about to throw up, Sienna,” she slurred, grabbing Sienna’s arm.

She guided her quickly, safely to her bedroom, before holding her hair back as she emptied her stomach, the tequila burning just as bad coming up as it did going down.

She faded in and out of consciousness, barely registering Sienna helping her shower and get in bed. She willed herself to remember her kindness and vowed she’d make it up to her when she sobered up.

She laid in bed, the ceiling spinning, her body floating, as she tried desperately to sleep. But she couldn’t, because she knew that Bryce was fifty feet away. With someone else.

She cuddled up to her pillow, imagining Bryce’s warm torso between her arms instead of the cool, firm memory foam of the pillow. She’d nearly succumbed to sleep before she heard a soft knock on her door.

“Hey, Spence, you good in there?”

“Yeah,” she managed, her heart thundering in her chest, partially because she was caught off guard, and because she wasn’t ready to face him again.

“Can I come in for a sec?”

“Sure.” She blurted without a second thought. When she was drunk her heart had a mind of its own. She knew damn well she wasn’t equipped for another emotionally draining conversation, but her heart was itching to be broken again.

The door creaked open, and he stepped in timidly, looking out of place. Normally, he ambled into a new place, not caring if it was a room full of strangers or his closest friends – his aura of confidence was never shaken.

He was nervous.

She tried to sit up, but plopped back against her pillow, groaning. He crossed the room to her bed, but stopped at the foot of it. “You good?”

“Yeah, I just feel like an idiot for drinking this much,” she said slowly, concentrating on trying not to sound as plastered as she felt.

“You’ve never been able to handle your liquor,” he smiled softly, fondly even.

She shook her head, causing the room to spin a little faster than before. “I’d trade a vital organ to be able to get drunk without the hangover.”

“How vital we talking?” His smile stretched into a grin, and he sat on the bed, resting a hand on the comforter. She couldn’t tell if he purposefully touched her, but the weight of his hand on her ankle grounded her nonetheless, and her vertigo subsided.

“With how shitty I feel right now, I’d trade my heart,” she said, trying to prop herself up on her elbows. Another wave of nausea hit her as soon as it left, and her stomach churned.

She threw the covers back, and tripped out of bed, face planting onto her cold floor. She heard him call out to her, but she couldn’t even decipher the words. She slapped her hand over her mouth, desperately trying to army crawl to the bathroom.

She felt his warm arms around her torso, picking her up gently and carrying her to the toilet. While she gagged uncontrollably, the disgusting sounds echoing off of the porcelain, he laced his fingers into her hair, gathering it into one hand.

“Here, give me that,” he said, pulling the hair tie off of her wrist, before using his fingers to comb through her thick locks, brushing her hair back into a loose ponytail, twisting the tie until it held firm.

After she was done, she wiped her face off, and peered up at him. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Spence.” He searched her face like he was scrutinizing her, so she broke away first, trying to stand up.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her to her feet. Familiarity washed over her, and she cackled when she put the pieces together.

“God, remember when we hooked up in the shower? You fucked me senseless and the steam made my legs so weak that you had to carry me out just like this.”

He tensed around her, but she barely noticed. “I miss that,” she breathed, leaning into his frame.

She was too far gone to think about the consequences of her words.

He tucked her into bed wordlessly, his warm expression gone, replaced with the increasingly frequent dubious one.

“You think you’ll be okay in here?”

“Do you have to get back to your date?”

He hesitated, long enough that Spencer kept talking. “She’s really pretty, you know. Maybe a little out of your league, Lahela. You look hot together, but she’s just so gorgeous –”

“She left. I paid for her cab home.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to check on you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”

“The half bottle of tequila in your toilet says otherwise, Spence.”

Silence ensued again, the apartment eerily quiet. “Is everyone gone?” She whispered. She didn’t know why she whispered.

“Yeah. It’s 4 a.m.”

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah, you’ve been in here a while.”

“So have you.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You could’ve left with everyone else. Or with your date. Why’d you come in here?” She asked before thinking. Again.

He turned towards the door, his back to her. He stood in place for a few seconds, frozen, before walking to the door, arm outstretched to grab the knob. “I’ll see you around, Spence –”

“Please, Bryce, wait –” She shot up, reaching for him.

He glanced back at her, refusing to meet her eye.

Her throat burned, alcohol fueling her grief. “I know I’m just talking out of my ass and saying shit that I haven’t carefully thought out. And I know that I’m self aware, but it still doesn’t stop me from embarrassing myself. But I know if I don’t say this right now I’ll probably never have the courage when I’m sober.”

He swivelled around, and leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms, trying hard to look relaxed, but the tension in his body made him look rigid and uneasy.

She closed her eyes tight, balling her hands up into fists, gripping her sheets. “I know I won’t remember this tomorrow, and I’m not even sure any of this is happening or if this is a hallucination, but I’m gonna word vomit my feelings.

“I think I love you, Bryce.”

She heard his breath hitch, but she squeezed her eyes tighter. She didn’t dare look.

“I’ve spent so much time chasing after guys who pushed me away. Maybe it’s the chase that I liked so much. I don’t know. But being with you was so easy. And comforting. Like a really good book that you’ve read a thousand times. Or your mom’s chicken soup when you’re sick.

“We never talked about it because I was scared I’d have to commit. And that’s so wrong of me. Granted, I thought you were afraid of commitment, too. I put it off forever and just danced between everyone who gave me attention. I didn’t even consider anyone’s feelings but my own.

“But the moments we had together are my favorite memories of my first year in Boston. I wouldn’t trade those for the world. You went out of your way to make me feel better at my lowest points. And that’s more than I can say for who I was giving the most attention to. I was chasing after something unattainable, when you were right in front of me.”

The tears squeezed out of her firmly shut lids, and she wiped them away quickly, quietly sniffling. “I’m so fucking sorry, Bryce. I can’t say it enough. I know I blew it, but I hope you give me a second chance as friends.”

She pulled the comforter up to her face, sobbing quietly into the thick fabric. She took a shaky breath, and laid down, curling up in a ball. “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t think I’ll remember this.”

The mix of crying, vomiting, and drinking wore her out so much that she was out before Bryce could curate a response.

Throughout her whole speech, he’d leaned up against the wall, frozen as he listened to her spill her feelings and say everything he wanted to hear. But he’d blown it, too. He’d hurt her so deeply, and he had no idea how to fix it.

Her soft snoring filled the room, and he mentally kicked himself for not saying anything sooner. “I think I love you, too, Spence,” he whispered, before slipping out the door into the night.

––––

[bigskydreaming]

(Last Anon) I write a lot of dark shit. I’ll openly admit it helps me cope with the shit Ive been through. It was advised to me by a therapist, and reading and writing it makes me feel better. The tagging system helps me avoid the things that WOULDNT make me feel better. It’s up to me to make that distinction. What level of tagging would actually make you comfortable? Do you want to stop people from writing anything noncon all together? (Idk if this sounds attacky, I don’t mean it that way)

I answered before I saw this second question, so I’ll try to make this briefer...

I’m gonna be blunt here: I’m.....not exactly side-eyeing that therapist, because its not like I’ve talked to or worked with every therapist out there lol, and I don’t know their reasoning on this subject, but I DO question whether or not there’s room in your dialogue with your therapist to expand on this and explore if there’s any kind of miscommunication or misinterpretation of WHY they suggested it might make you feel better....as well as whether or not they meant just in writing it for yourself vs writing it to share with other people online.

I say that last part because those can be very distinct things.....because ALL forms of writing, are at their core inherently just....communicating ideas. Even to ourselves.

Its why journaling is so effective for a lot of people. Its literally just us using writing to express our own ideas to ourselves, to communicate what we’re already thinking or feeling to ourselves in more...digestible ways we can more easily internalize even if we’re the only intended audience for what we write there.

And I also say this because there’s a difference between exploration and validation....and the intended results and receptions to both these things.

Like.....tbh, I’ve spent a lot of my life asking WHY, in terms of why certain of my victimizers might have done the things to me that they did. Its been a large, central question at times.....the mystery of it being something that’s bothered me to large degrees.

So in that vein, there is a certain logic to writing various dark shit in an effort to reach SOME kind of understanding, even just in my own mind. Trying to understand what they were even thinking, the WHY of it, in order to at least transform the unknown of it into something real or tangible that I could more easily refute or push back against. 

But all of that can be done in the form of writing just to myself. The second I share that writing with a wider public, many of them unknown to me, however.....it takes on a whole new dimension.

Because now I’m not just communicating my thoughts on this matter to myself.....I’m communicating it to an audience of people all with their own thoughts, priorities, lived experiences, etc. And there is ZERO guarantee, or even really a realistic expectation, that this wider audience is receiving what I’m communicating or interpreting it or whatever.....in the same vein, and for the same reasons, that I’m writing it in the first place.

So not only do I now have to factor in that while say, exploring my victimizers’ mindsets in order to make them more real and thus more realistically refuted, like....that might be my motivation for writing it to myself, and MY understanding of what I’ve written and why......but to people out there in that wider audience....I have NO idea what they’re getting out of it. People who actually ALREADY think this way could see it as validation, proof that the predatory thoughts they had were more normal and acceptable than society otherwise wanted them to think.....or other victims of similar kinds of events could accidentally use it to negatively reinforce ideas they had about THEIR victimizers’ being valid in thinking the way they did, and for doing the things they did to them.

But then I also have to now factor in the ADDITIONAL angle that is....feedback. And especially, ESPECIALLY in a fandom environment which simply does not allow for or condone negative reception to this kind of content, and will default to defending the author and any readers of the author, REGARDLESS of their motivations or intentions....over a reader who is genuinely distressed by how they received the content.

Because feedback IS validating. Plain and simple. Positive reception IS affirming, in WHATEVER we do.

So....now there’s the problem that I can’t honestly say for sure at this point if what’s making me feel better about writing this dark shit is just the writing of it itself, communicating whatever it communicates to me when I put it to paper....OR if maybe what’s making me feel better is the external validation I’m getting from readers who for their own reasons, whatever they might be, are telling me this is fantastic, I’m great at this, they want more.

And that can very easily become a trap, see....because whereas initially my writing this stuff for myself might have had some benefit....if the how and why of me doing this goes somewhere it wasn’t ever intended and becomes something else entirely....that can eventually like....overtake and REPLACE my original motivations completely.

And instead of this being something I do for a FINITE period of time, for as long as I need to in order to work through this stuff....it can become something I kinda just...dwell in, and never move past.....because the validation I’m getting from writing this specific content and how that VALIDATION makes me feel, specifically.....gives me reason enough not to...ever actually move past this stuff no matter how else it might be effecting my life or my mindsets about things.

And I’m not saying that’s what’s going on with you or going to happen with you or anything of the sort, because I flat out DO NOT KNOW your situation or your therapist or what they recommended or why.

I’m just saying....the problem with using ‘coping mechanisms’ as a catch-all defense without ever delving into the specifics of WHY this specific coping mechanism and what specifically its meant to accomplish....is there is nothing inherent in a coping mechanism that’s like.....good.

Because coping is the bare minimum, frankly.

It should never be upheld as the IDEAL.

So for instance, as a survivor of physical abuse and in terms of how that often made me feel weak or powerless....I could, feasibly, say getting into physical fights is a coping mechanism for me, as long as I win them, because they make me feel strong or powerful. I could genuinely say, despite how it sounds, punching someone on some level DOES make me feel better.

But could I actually argue this is any way ideal, healthy or sustainable in the longterm? Let alone ignore the effect is has on the people I fight, for what are essentially entirely self-serving reasons?

I’m just saying....coping isn’t always the be all and end all....and it can get away from us very quickly if we lose sight of WHY we’re doing it and to what end.

And to answer the rest of your questions.....all of this is what I want. All of the above conversation is the POINT of my frequent rants.

Because these kinds of conversations are ESSENTIAL to what fandom CLAIMS are the point of these kinds of fics and content and readerships.

These are not things that can just be assumed, or things that are one size fits all and the same for every writer and reader regardless of personal situation.

But can you honestly say that fandoms, as they exist now, are remotely open or conducive to HAVING these kinds of conversations regularly? To making the asking of THESE specific kinds of questions something people regularly do, or check in with, or consider before or during the creation or consuming of dark content.....as opposed to just taking for granted that its fine and its GOOD because fandom has been doing it this way all along and everyone who’s been a guiding influence to you in fandom has previously assured you this is fine and works and doesn’t need fixing or adjusting?

Because I don’t think they are, and THAT’S my issue, and THAT’S what I want, in answer to your other question.

Do I really want people to just stop writing dark shit altogether? At least the fetishistic kind, the kind that exploits real peoples’ real traumas for entertainment rather than be respectful of the inherent power and weight it comes with just by virtue of being what it is?

I mean, on the one hand, yes, sure. I’m not going to lie. That would be ideal.

But part of why I object so strongly to accusations of purity policing and censorship is because I DON’T view the world in terms of black and white, binary thinking.

And so on the other hand, no, this isn’t what I want, because it isn’t something I spend any time actually WANTING....because that would be a waste of time and effort, because I UNDERSTAND that that’s just not a realistic want. I’m not likely to ever see like, just a full scale abandonment of the consumer culture fad of rape culture.....and I don’t want to actually censor it because I fully believe censorship is just a band-aid slapped on a gaping chest wound....banning content does nothing to address the WANT of a type of content, and as long as that want persists, people will find a way to feed it.

So realistically, ACTIONABLY.....all I really want is this. More of these kinds of conversations, engagements. Open, frank, directness about what’s ACTUALLY going on with a lot of this content and being communicated with it, the risks inherent in it....acknowledgment of the negative impact that goes hand in hand with the positive impact you get from readers saying they like this, they enjoyed it.

And yeah, I fully admit and hope that along the way, it DOES lead to more people just stopping writing this type of content altogether.....BUT the WHY of that is important.

Because I believe this would only happen or come about because in the act of actually ASKING these questions of themselves and their work, ACTUALLY acknowledging the full scale of impact, the bad as well as the good, actually LISTENING to people who complain or criticize it instead of just dismissing them as entitled or whiny or puritans....I do think that this would inevitably lead to some people abandoning this type of content altogether.....because its just flat out not really enjoyable to them when they consider it in the context of its negative impact AS WELL as the positive.

But the thing is......THAT, yeah, I’m okay with. Because I don’t believe anyone is entitled to LIE to themselves or hide from the negative impact of their own actions or actions of those around them, just in order to preserve the entertainment value of ONE aspect of ONE personal hobby.

That, I have no shame about potentially having an influence on people in regards to, because there is literally NOTHING WRONG with asking people to be more aware of themselves and their place and impact among others, and to interact honestly and directly with their own actions, likes, and interests.

Like, there’s just not.

And I fully believe everyone really already knows that, and that’s WHY this conversation so frequently gets twisted and derailed into being about things its just not about...censorship, purity policing, fiction not being the same as reality....

None of those are the point. THIS is the point. Has always been MY point, at the very least.

Bottom line, fandom as is, expects people whose lives are directly reflective of specific types of content to make THEMSELVES smaller in fandom spaces, in order to make room and make way for the content a lot of people like.

And I fully and unapologetically believe that’s backwards.

Fic should not take priority over people. Fictional interests should not be more important to a fandom COMMUNITY than lived experiences.

Nobody has any right to ask or expect other fans to make room, object less, isolate more.....just so that other people can enjoy certain fictional content without having to do any serious examination of it and how that makes them feel.

[thepencilnerd]

Yoongi apologized for his track, why the fuck are you still so petty about it? HE DIDN'T PRODUCE IT!!! BIGHIT ALREADY ADMITTED THAT HIS CO-PRODUCER CHOSE THE TRACK AND YOONGI DIDN'T KNOW!!!! grow the fuck up and stop being such a hater

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking because one person cannot seriously be this blind to common sense and reality...? 

!!disclaimer, I am not an ARMY!! 

However, I genuinely admire Yoongi out of all the members for his pieces and keep up to date with his pieces and activity. His lyrics are really ones that sit with me on a deeper level and align with my principles and values, and I will never find it in myself to carry any malice towards him as a human being.

Hate me if you want, I have no problems with dealing with those who hide behind the screens of their phones and computers.  

My post was not directed specifically towards Yoongi alone. If anything, it was directed more towards the mindless fans such as yourself who continue to support artists and celebrities blindly simply because of their social status. 

I am not, never have been never will be, and currently in utter disbelief that you would call me a hater when about half of my blog consists of Yoongi content and supporting him, especially his solo work throughout the years. 

Regardless, it is beyond astounding that you actually think he had no part in producing "What Do You Think?” when there is video of him sampling the clip early last year in a documentary. He is someone who prides himself on producing, writing, and composing his own songs, so when a track blows up with positive opinion it’s all his work, but when something isn’t well-received and controversial, he doesn’t claim it as his? Come the fuck on. 

I’d also like to add that Yoongi himself has not apologized, BigHit apologized for him and in his name in a half-assed Tweet. I do not hate Yoongi and I could never hate him, and I completely understand that foreign social issues—particularly American ones—are not top priority for Koreans. Source: I AM KOREAN.

You don’t just “stumble across” a cult leader/mass murderer’s propaganda sermon, it is something that you have to do lots of digging and researching to even find. The clip of him sampling it is damning and if you deny that he added it onto the track, you are blind. Absolutely morally blind. You need to wake up. You need to grow up. 

To add to this, toxic ARMY’s have been showing their true colors on Twitter and other social media platforms. A young Black woman was harassed, DOXED, and sent death threats by ARMYs because of her response to the situation and for purely putting out her opinion onto the Internet. I’m not saying that all ARMY’s are toxic or malicious and the community can be a beautiful place at times—but of all the fandoms I see get thrown into vats of controversy, hate, and unpopular opinion, ARMY’s stand out like a sore thumb. Maybe it’s because the fandom is so large so it only makes sense for there to be as many bad people as there are good, but I believe that fandom culture is unhealthy as a whole and is a purely dogmatic way of thinking. 

Let’s say that it really was “an accident” and his co-producer included the clip without Yoongi knowing where it was from. Are you telling me that he went through the entire writing, producing, recording, editing, and finalizing process without asking once where the intro audio was from? Months editing, cropping, trimming, and piecing everything together without asking his “co-producers”, “Hey the clip you used in the first 15 seconds sounds pretty dope and fucking rad, where is it from?” Really? Really? REALLY?

I don’t hate Yoongi but I sure as hell am really fucking disappointed in him and BigHit’s handling of the situation. Whether it was his work or not (I have strong evidence and reason to believe that it is indeed his work), he should apologize himself and face the backlash, not let his company coddle him like a baby and shelter him from his critics, only to have him write a diss track and call all of them haters and anti’s. 

If he had come clean and said, “I produced the track and sampled the audio because ‘xyz’ or because it just sounded cool and I didn’t do enough research into the historical and cultural background. I apologize for my mistakes. I made mistakes and I understand that they were not nor will ever be under any circumstance acceptable. I messed up. I’m sorry.” This would have definitely earned some backlash but as an idol, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t, so why don’t you just practice what you preach and do what’s morally right? 

You are almost 30 years old and you can’t stand up against your own company to speak for yourself? You are a worldwide superstar “idol” that spits out diss track after diss track like clockwork, say you love yourself and don’t give a shit about the haters, , fame never gets to your head, and that , yet you don’t have confidence the It’s not only offensive, childish, and complicit with what you stand against as an artist, but embarrassing, tone deaf, and disrespectful as a human being.  

This is the problem with the Kpop industry and a lot of it’s mass fanbase. You are the problem. Yes, idols and celebrities are human, but this does not give them a hall pass to do things that are wrong or hide behind the big names of their company and PR staff. This is more towards BigHit and not so much Yoongi, but is money really worth this? Is your fame and status really more valuable than the integrity of human rights and basic common sense? 

This way of thinking disgusts me. The Kpop fandom ceases to make me speechless. This platform at times makes me want to scream and rip my hair out, and if I get death threats and hate mail from putting my opinion out there regarding this situations as a Korean American, it only proves my point so keep them coming. 

BigHit made a mistake. Yoongi made a mistake. Admit that they did not handle it well at all, especially considering the weight and power they have in American media and culture. With BTS and BigHit being aware of the current world’s social climate, it was wrong of him to handle the situation the way he did and I am extremely disappointed. I do not think that I will be able to respect or love him the same way I did before this fuck up, purely out of what I believe in and stand for as a human being. 

Min Yoongi was and still is wrong and he knows it. 

양심 없니? 그냥 사과를 하면 되는 것을 이렇게 끌어낼 꺼니? 너도 잘못한 거 알잖아. 인정해. 거의 30살이 돼가는데 유치하게 사과도 재대로 못해? 실수한 걸 인정 못해? 민윤기, 제발 정신 좀 차려. 

[not-a-space-alien]

hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn��t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong...  But honestly I’m still not convinced.  I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation.  I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show.  And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way.  The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly.  The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around.  The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest.  the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best.  Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends.  You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib.  That seems very weird to me.  that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development.  A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right?  a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.”  But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine.  Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy.  so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad.  The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior.  What is Zim?  All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear.  Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human.  Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~.  The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience.  You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic.  You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me.  I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf.  I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.