#why the hell are you in this discourse to begin with. stop looking up weird shit on ao3. stop talking to people online that talk to you

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

I am blocking on sight anyone that puts any fucking discourse over "moral" fiction or whatever the fuck on my dash. I have blocked 5 people in the last month. I don't care if I've been a mutual with you for years, if you engage in this kinda shit, especially on the side of believing that certain fiction shouldn't be allowed, then you are someone I have no respect for.

Unless someone is actually straight up committing a crime (I.E., posting *actual* photographs or videos of REAL LIFE PEOPLE, not fictional/drawn people, REAL PEOPLE, being harmed/sexually abused) I Do Not Care what other people read or write or watch or make. I Do Not Care. I do not trust anyone else's, especially on the piss on the poor website, to be able to determine if a text is "glorifying" something or if they are just uncomfortable with the subject as a whole. You people all suck at media comprehension and I am just flatly not interested. I keep seeing posts of people making good points and then people ripping them apart in the most bad faith possible. "Someone else's media consumption doesn't hurt you" "yes except for when abuse is portrayed as love, or-" no. shut the fuck up. You Missed The Point. You DO NOT KNOW, and you CAN NOT KNOW, why someone else wrote or created something nor can you know why anyone chose to engage with it. Also, sometimes the fucking point of a story is to portray something bad as good, to serve a narrative purpose. that doesn't mean the author thinks it IS.

I Do Not Care about icky feelings. If you can't tell fiction from reality, that's a you problem. Leave us writers/artists the fuck out of it. And if your knee-jerk reaction to this is "oh, you're just making excuses For The Freaks" you are part of the problem and I also have no respect for you.

FWIW, I am an abuse survivor and I find everyone's moral panic over shitty fanfiction stupid at best and upsetting at worst. You people freak out over fictional bad things happening to fictional people, to the point you waste the resources and time of people that actually hunt down predators by sending them loli fanart? You make me feel like you care about fictional people more than you care about the victims. Also, you'll be fucking fine if you hear about weird art or fic happening. Just don't fucking read it yourself. But knowing it exists won't fucking hurt you. You know what does hurt you? ACTUAL ABUSE. Like the kind so many of the creators you demonize go through, bc like I said before, you can't know why people make the art they make and you certainly can't know whether someone's a victim or not. And people shouldn't HAVE to disclose their victim status for you to make sure you're only attacking the "acceptable" people.

Maybe just don't fucking attack people over some fucking fanfiction or fanart. period. go the fuck outside.

You crave ruthless, vindictive justice more than you crave to help people. You are after the high of feeling good about putting people down, the "right" people.

And I Have No Respect For You.

[gojoshooter]

Hi!! Thanks sm for your response! I'm glad you take requests since I'm such a fan of your work!

I was thinking about a scenario wherein Gojo Satoru always had the impression that reader hated his guts because they always bicker even at the pettiest of things. But one day, Satoru overhears reader gushing about having a crush on him (reader could be talking to Geto/Shoko/both etc) and they keep rambling about how much they like him and all. Meanwhile, Satoru's just 🧍‍♂️leaning by the doorframe with the biggest smug grin on his face (he actually secretly likes reader back). How it ends is entirely up to you if you'd take this request hehe

Just basically lots of fluff and the occasional comedy lol thanks so much for listening to my rambling (I just love him sm)

hi, thank you for the praise robynn! ’m so glad to know my works interest you, luv u & here's your req hc <3

Deer caught in Headlights : Gojo

Pairing : frenemy!gojo x highschool!y/n

A/N : here's another set of hcs about gojo bullying you like the jerk he is. ps. i tried to be serious

WARNINGS : gojo is a tease, but so are you

“i don't like him like that. absolutely fucking not, what the hell?” you whisper, mouth stuffed with icecream in the comfy bed of Shoko's room as Geto copied her bored expression—sitting & listening to your endless rambles on why you're not attracted to Satoru like that

seriously, they've lost the count of reasons why you gradually became a Satoru simp but oh have you

“goddammit! i hate him, i hate him and his dumb voice and his stupid muscles and his awfully attractive face! it's all on my desserts he ate to look li-... Geto, are you sleeping?”

you stop your very important discourse to give the best friend of your enemy & your thought dump a pointed look

“no, please keep talking. i only yawn when i'm super fascinated”

says him, that talk-back king of a bitch you're sure he got that from is best friend

he lies down the bed with a soft huff and if he notices Satoru’s tall presence by the door, he does nothing—nothing but a hint of evil amusement making his lips curve into a subtle smile to the thought of your pathetically obvious crush being exposed

he does nothing to stop you who's back faced the door, nothing when his best friend approached slowly with his hands inside his sweatpants as your embarrassing tirade continued

“-and Shoko, trust me. I'd have let him known about his ridiculous eyes that i dreamt last night if he wasn't such a jerk like h-”

“...what about my eyes?”

you flinch... no, no no no, fuck. even Shoko burst out at your comical whip of the head

with a stifling laugh that she tried to fight so hard, Shoko gets out along with Geto who may have wanted to stay just to watch the drama commence

“um-” you almost landed face first trying to drag your panicked little self out of bed as the slanting white brows raised at you amusingly

“mhm, and you hate these stupid muscles” “no! i mean- yes, n-”

“y/n, i expected more”

god fucking damn, what was his cursed technique? to flatter people? you pulled a passive-aggressive face in defence of your shattering pride, and begin “h-how long have you been standing there?”

Gojo answered your question with the teasing smile on his face, and he chuckled before asking with a tilt of his head to watch your reaction “correct me if i've been reading this all wrong but.... you like me”

your figure shrinks at the claim and that definitely satisfied Gojo, his breathy hum confirming it further

“mm?” he hums slowly, as if coaxing a child to admit their wrong doings “cat got your tongue y/n?” just say it, say it, say it. you breath in.

“i like you” “say that again” “...i like you”

you know he would not let you live that down even if you were to end up having kids—but fuck that, you thought, the cat's out of the bag anyway.

“dunno i had such a weird taste in men but i just really enjoy spending my time with you and you've really become someone special to me and-”

“don't even tell me, i already know. i just needed to get that out.” he knows he shouldn't be mean, not when he feels the same about you, but can he help his obsession with your flustered red mess of a face?

you know he's trying too hard to tease you. cruel fucking bastard. “wait until i kill you”

“yeah?~ what're you trying here? to make this seem like a lovers' quarrel?” he chuckles, prolly wants to redden your puffy cheeks a little more before giving in.

“i'll punch that smirk off your face, Satoru!” “try me, i dont need to try getting you on your knees before me”

“oh, do you think of that image a lot?” you say lifting an eyebrow, perfect chance to make him taste his own medicine.

oh. Gojo blushed.

“w-well, what i think is... maybe our feelings are mutual” says after clearing his throat as he slowly regains his composure. “i have this weird feeling when i'm with you, can't explain it, but it's a good feeling...”

your usual instinct of fighting began to fade at his words as both of you stood in middle of the room in an awkward state, trying to fight the urge to smile

“hah, can't believe i never noticed it before, but you're kinda hot when you're angry. maybe that's why i loved pissing you off”

yes, that's when Gojo managed to break your last straw and make you blush at the same time “well then, take this!” his infinity stopped your little punch

“meanie!” he chuckles again, holding your fist softly

“okay little baby, no sulking. if a punch makes you feel better you can punch me. lightly.” he said in his silvery voice as he turned his infinity off, kissing you nice and soft...

(you ignored his last word)

A/N : i hope people this is one ^-^ i personally enjoyed this heheskks likes & reblogs are appreciated! ♡

Tags : @robynnnhooddd @nanamikentoseyebags @luckimoon @dazailover1900 @jspenft @tamakin7 @daquila @jkhlhjkjkjhkl @horrendous-introvert

[marlowe1-blog]

Job Chapter 14

Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean one.

Before I talk about this chapter which is fucking brilliant and appeals to my love of goth poetry, that 4th phrase troubles me. I finally had to look it up to say who can bring a tahor out of a tamai. Tahor is all about ritual impurity but it can also mean pure as in everything is unmixed. So you can have tahor cocaine, tahor olive oil, tahor gold.

Who can bring purity out of mixed up stuff. Tamai is ritually impure and often gets translated as unclean. With the JPS translation above, I had the strange irony of this being laundry day. I am totally going to make clean things out of unclean things.

But instead its the mixture that's the problem. Doesn't really do Judaism any favors in the goyish world to have the quintessential tamei examples being death and menstruation (it's the mixture of life and death but yeah, why not just say that it means unclean or filth).

Recently I was talking about tzaras (biblical leprosy) as a perfect metaphor for relationships. If both people are on the same page, cool. If not, fucking hell it's brutal. So once I realized that I was in love with my best friend it was impossible to ignore how much we act like a couple. Of course, the fact that we were "just friends" and acting like a couple (long walks, talking everyday about everything, looking out for each other. I never felt so close to an official girlfriend or even an obsessive crush where it was all about my needs and my misinterpretation and my desire to find true love.)

But as long as we were friends, we were fine. Once I realized I had feelings for her it was messy. Like with tzaras where everything is mixed up (tzaras is basically vitilago. white patches on the skin) but when everything is white then fine, let them back in the camp. So friendship cool. Mutual love where both know it, cool. Mixed up where you're pretending to be just friends but you are really in love or only one is really in love...fucking hell.

Who can make tahor out of tamei? It's a weird question even in context since there's a lot of material in the Bible about making tamei tahor, usually through sacrifices and waiting.

But in a poetic sense it feels like he's talking about humanity. We call come out screaming and covered in someone else's blood. We are shitting ourselves throughout our cute years (and then again during our sad old days) and the phrase really fits in with the chapter.

You are born. You have a few great years. Then you have some terrible years and then you die. Hard to not be obsessed with that cycle. Yet, few movies actually cover it. There's Benjamin Button where the beginning feels like a victory of death. He's old but he's getting stronger. Only he still dies in diapers without much of a brain left. I hated that movie when I first saw it, but I can't stop watching it now.

And then there's Flowers for Algernon. In many ways, we are all living the Flowers for Algernon life only on a much longer timeline.

So the chapter is all about humanity flowering and dying. And G-d knows how long we have. We don't know how long we have but G-d already knows, so why is G-d still fucking with us? Fucking hell, G-d, leave us alone a bit.

There's a long discourse comparing humanity to tress. Cut down a tree and it's still flowering. Cut off its branches and they grow back. Yet men just die. And even if we have children who carry on after us, who cares? We're dead. Our pain doesn't end just because we have descendants.

Damn. I love this chapter.

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x09 Review

Spring Break was a bit of an odd ep but helped move some key plots forward. Let’s dig in!

Well people can no longer claim that Portwell is one sided. We finally got Gina’s pov and she starts off the ep uncertain whether the shift in their relationship means that EJ likes her but by the end of the ep she seems sure of herself and that EJ likes her back. I liked that she didn’t try to pretend that nothing had changed or that she hadn’t noticed potential signs that EJ might like her; it always sucks when tv characters act like idiots. 

Perhaps the most important reveal of this ep was that Gina has a much older estranged brother who left her and her mom many years ago. That certainly makes her backstory more tragic and is definite set up for her brother to eventually return.

The writers continue to give Portwell great tropes, capping this ep off with an airport rom-com trope that also calls back to EJ getting Gina the place ticket so she could come back in S1. Not only did Gina keep EJ’s Duke sweatshirt but she altered it to fit her better which is both sweet and bold in the assumption that it was hers to keep. Gina got her sign when not only did EJ show up to drive Gina home and take her luggage but he brought her the granola bar that she had wanted but forgot to pack. I wonder if her posting on her story that she was ubering home after her flight was cancelled was intended to see if EJ would show up since the camera focused on her posting it. Also sweet that she’s taken to calling EJ, ‘ Eej’. 

EJ’s opening was good, shows a lot of his character growth from the selfish guy he was in S1 and how he’s learned to value other people which of course leads into his feelings for Gina. We got another great use of the camera as character tonight when Gina was laughing after her facetime call with EJ until she realized that the camera was on her. 

Jack was a lot of fun. Though he didn’t really change Gina’s mind over anything like the ep description said he would.  Seemed like Gina was largely over Ricky and wondering about EJ at the beginning and the end solidified her feelings for EJ but Jack didn’t really play a role in that, it’s not like he encouraged Gina to reach out to EJ or anything. There’s a vague sense in which Jack being nomadic linked him to Ricky’s unreliability in Gina’s eyes with her craving stability but that’s a stretch. Jack mentioned that the second most dangerous part of a plane ride is when the plane takes off, a hint to the blossoming Portwell relationship where in order to take off one or both of them has to risk a confession even though they could be turned down.

This ep might seem a bit weird in hindsight. The zoom parts probably won’t age well and five years from now people might be wondering why they had Gina hang out with a manic pixie dream boy of sorts for an ep.

The path is clear for canon Portwell in the finale with EJ being Gina’s second chance at romance and her first kiss since they clearly telegraphed it out of nowhere. I’ve been impressed with the great work the writers have been doing since 2x05 to build up Portwell as a ship but also work on Gina and EJ as individual characters; they’ve been the highlight of the season so far. 

There was discourse this past week over how well or poorly Portwell has been set up. Objectively very few ships on this show get much in the way of set up or consistent writing. Redlyn and Kowie had barely any set up before getting together. Seblos had none (though in fairness that was due to Disney restrictions) and Miss Jenn and Mike Bowen didn’t have much set up either. Rini did get lots of development in S1 but that’s because they had already dated and were the main ship of the show. The show’s not really about slow burns, if Jenzzara canons in the finale they’ll count and if Rina ever got together they’d also count but neither of those ships have gotten consistent development with Mazzara not being in several eps and Gina and Ricky not even interacting for the past 3 eps. 

Is Portwell a slowburn? In a sense since they did feature quite a bit in each other’s S1 plot lines and even had a fake dating plot but it is true that they were platonic and not that close in S1 so it’s a wash. There was clear set up for romantic Portwell in 1x10 with team wonderstudies and Gina staring at EJ (which interestingly enough looked more like set up for Gina to pine over EJ). I think the main problem is that even though we saw Gina and EJ hanging out in the background we didn’t get any scenes of substance between them until 2x05. It was a mistake and there should have been some scene, like EJ and Gina commiserating in 2x03 over being single on Valentine’s Day or something like that. Hell there was even that still from 2x01 of EJ and Gina looking at each other at the piano while they were in the frame between Ricky and Nini singing and having a moment  which would have been good foreshadowing but that shot wasn’t in the ep.

Whether Tim just really wanted Portwell to be a surprise in 2x05 as a mid-season twist to throw the audience off of what looked like a Rini/Rina triangle or he was unsure as to whether he wanted to go with Portwell or if he just planned it out poorly we may never know. Regardless they’ve had great writing for 4 eps in a row now which puts them slightly ahead of the 3 eps in a row of development Rina got in S1. I’m sure if someone added up their screen time they’d find that Portwell has more screen time this season than Kowie and more screen time than Redlyn or Seblos  got in S1. 

Caswell cousins was fun and Ashlyn did in fact paint EJ’s nails. 

Set up for Seblos drama next week, it’s refreshing to see Seb being jealous over Carlos flirting with other boys that’s definitely not something you see on Disney shows.

Ricky got some healing done with his mom. Enough to cover their issues? No but this is probably the best this show is capable of. There was a brief mention of therapy sandwiched between other options which sounds more like checking off a box then setting up Ricky actually going to therapy. I noticed Lynne was smiling at odd times like when she told Ricky she knew about his breakup with Nini; whether that was poor directing or acting I don’t know. Who knows if we’ll see Lynne again. As an aside still so wild that Tim named Lynne who’s been a kinda shitty mom after his own mom who he seems to be fairly close with.

Really liked You ain’t seen nothin as a song but not a fan of the Tiktok style vid. I’ll level with you wildcats, I’m too old to really get Tiktok, it just seems like a crappy version of Vine to me. Let you go was good, seemed better fitted for Joshua Bassett’s voice than some of his previous songs. A big sign that they’re not circling back to Rini for a long time for sure. Though on that note we got a bit of a hint that Ricky was Nini’s muse which may one day come back as a way to help bring them back together. 

Looking Ahead:

If there’s only 3 weeks left till the Menkies, with only 2 weeks left for rehearsal due to spring break, it’s hard to see East High winning unless North High is disqualified or has to withdraw. 

Lily is in a promo photo so she’s likely the unexpected facetime Ricky gets which is what I had theorized. Also makes it much more likely that she’s the party crasher Ricky re-evaluates in the finale though what Tim actually wants to do with those two I do not know.

There’s little point in bringing back the Valentine’s chocolate since there’s no real stakes. Rini are already broken up, Gina hasn’t spoken to Ricky since 2x06, and it’s not like Nini and Gina were ever close so even if they stopped talking to each other it wouldn’t really affect the show in any way. 

Seems pretty likely that Second Chances refers to Gina realizing that her first try with Ricky failed but her second chance with EJ won’t and that leads to her sharing her truth and cue the Portwell confession and kiss, perhaps with an assist on EJ’s end from Mazzara. We’ve gone well past the point where Portwell can be brushed off as just a plot device to help Rina but Tim is playing with fire by getting the audience so on board with Portwell if he’s once again going to have EJ lose a girl he likes to Ricky in S3.

Gina certainly needs to talk with Ricky and I do think that happens in ep 11 or 12 and leaves them on better terms. As I mentioned last week, if Tim was smart he’d slam the door on Rina if he’s going with canon Portwell or vice versa. If he wants Rina to be a slow burn he’s really botched the writing this season, it’s been too one sided and too angsty to sustain any kind of momentum or audience interest. They haven’t even interacted for 3 eps now and not only has it not affected the show but it’s inarguably made Gina’s story line much better.  Again I don’t think he’s smart enough to not try and do Portwell and then later Rina but he’s accidentally set up the Rina story line to quite easily slam the door permanently on them by having their conversation be closure for Gina who’s moved on and an apology from Ricky who never liked her back as much as Gina liked him.

Not looking forward to seeing Nini basically live out Olivia Rodrigo’s life in future seasons

Curious to see Carlos’ apology song to Seb. Ricky helping him with it is a great way to help start redeeming Ricky’s character in the audiences eye’s. According to Matt there is a bit of a Ricky/EJ rivalry this season and if it’s really happening the sleepover would be a good place to do it though I hope it’s not about Gina. 

Until next week wildcats.

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y’all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[poplinn]

I do think that the new outbreak of toxic people drumming up their toxic groups in this fandom is hurting people. They think theyre doing something right but all they're doing is making mentally ill and/or young fans too scared to enjoy or create in fear of being harassed.

Hi anon! first of all i want to apologise for responding so late. I have a lot to say about your ask and just wanted a clear head before i decided  to respond. i want to start  off by saying you are absolutely right.

Before i continue i am going to put a read-more because, well, i have a LOT to say about this, so, mini-rant ahead under the read-more…

These people are doing more harm than good.

I understand if you want to make a small list with content warnings, for a fandom, that is completely fine! But using such a list to start bullying, harassing, threatening and in general, witch-hunting people is not okay. Many great and talented people have been driven away from the fandom by that tiny toxic group(or the cucks, as i like to call them for easy sakes). Content creators are even scared to post their content too now, both of these things are a huge shame. It’s terrible. Sites like tumblr are supposed to be for sharing your content without limitations. [well, until the nsfw ban, but you get what i mean..]

I happen to be in contact with some people on the blocklist, and let me tell you, they are truly amazing and wonderful people. 

Yeah sometimes people make content you may not agree with, but that doesn’t mean you have start attacking people for it. Do you know how easy it is to click the unfollow or block button? But apparently some people are so stupid they prefer to screech instead of click one single button. 

But for example, I dislike a certain popular hc for medic. I dislike the Jewish medic hc. I’m a Jewish man myself, but I don’t like seeing Jewish medic for multiple reasons, none of which are out of antisemitic nature. What do I see when I see Jewish medic? I mind my own fucking business. The person who posted that wanted to create that, fine by me. I don’t agree with it, and I don’t have to. I’m not going to make a dumb expose list for everyone who ever said anything about medic being Jewish. I mind my fucking business like a normal, mature person. 

And there was/is a huge discussion about drawing or writing tf2 non-con…yeah, rape isn’t good. Every sane person knows that. Writing or drawing rape does not mean you’re a rapist (unless it’s an autobiography of course, then I’d like you to take a trip to prison). But, some people, including myself, write or draw non-con as a coping mechanism. I use confrontation to cope. I have a few triggers, and by confronting myself with said triggers I’m slowly getting over said triggers.

If I write or draw about these triggers or rape, I feel like I’m relieving my feelings about what happened to me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and i’m not the only person who does it like that. 

Yeah, I get people don’t always want to see that. That’s why tags exist, that’s why people use those tags for content and trigger warnings. That’s why you block those tags if you don’t want to see it.  It’s that simple

Also, some of them make the claim that fiction is reality. I disagree, fiction is not reality. Yes, fiction can impact reality, but it isn’t one and the same. If you can’t distinguish fiction from reality then, well, you’re either not ready for fiction or not old/stable enough to be able to tell the two apart. Besides, if fiction really IS reality then so many movies and books would have been banned, or the writers of those must have been in jail by now, right? Writing a book about a fictional serial killer does not mean the writer is planning to or already has commit murder. Take Tf2 fan-fiction writers for example. They write about dudes slaughtering each other on a daily basis, but some of them wouldn’t even DARE to hit a fly in real life. 

People who commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already going to do so to begin with. No sane human sees a crime that occurs in fiction and thinks to do the same. Those who do commit crimes because of a fictional piece were already planning to do so to begin with, and were probably not a completely hundred percent stable person.

And about the discussion of miss p being a lesbian, yeah I get that Jay said she’s gay and that, and if she really was a Canon lesbian, it’d be weird to ship her with men. However, those cucks do also make soldier a homosexual despite him having a (gorgeous) wife? Isn’t that kind of hypocritical? Anyways, Jay most likely was joking about miss p being gay, he’s known to be a jokey person like that. I feel like the way he did it was just saying “oh yeah btw she’s gay”. To me it feels vague. In the same sense that jk Rowling suddenly says everyone is gay in Harry Potter. Yeah, I hc her as a funky lil lesbian too, but i don’t go off on a tangent when someone sees her as bi, because the way she was “confirmed” as a lesbian, was vague and uncertain, and most likely a dumb joke that split the fandom in half.    

Anyways, most of the cucks I ran into are underage, and aren’t even allowed on this site, which can explain their irrational behaviour, and refusing to listen to anyone who slightly disagrees with them, but lemme tell y'all something, minding your own fucking business would have prevented this entire blocklist ordeal.

Besides, YOU are in control of what you see on the Internet. Don’t like a certain type of content? BLOCK IT! or just, STOP LOOKING AT IT! it’s not that hard!

You are responsible for your own experience on the Internet. Not ready for that? Then close your phone/laptop and go outside. Content creators are not responsible for what you do online, these creators don’t know you, don’t expect them to fucking take care of you, they’re not your parents. Avoiding certain content does NOT mean you have to start policing others on what to post. You have no right to tell artist what they can and cannot post. Again, you may criticise or dislike it, that’s fine, but actively demanding censorship or threatening the creator makes you look like an incompetent asshole. 

And if you disagree with something, it’s better to start with calming yourself down and contacting the OP in a respectful and mature manner. Maybe talk to them, broaden your horizon, broaden their horizon. Can’t agree eventually? That’s fine, it’s normal. Simply block the tag or the creator themselves and boom! You’re done, and didn’t harm anyone in the fandom and probably learned something, and OP probably too! If something isn’t tagged you can always, nicely, reach out to OP and ask them to tag. Most of the time they will. And if they don’t, just unfollow or block them if they continue posting a certain something that triggers you. Making a blocklist is one of the most immature things you could do. You bully and harass people to the point where some feel unsafe, and some even suicidal, in a fandom about a dumb fucking hat Simulator. Is that really what you want?? A fandom is supposed to be a safe and fun place for everyone who likes a certain something. By being toxic, and harassing others to the point where they don’t even feel safe(not only those who are young or mentally ill) in a what was supposed to be a safe place for them, you’re actively harming that safe place, and frankly, you don’t deserve to be in the fandom. 

Also, I’ve seen a lot of these cucks say they actually hate tf2 as a game, and really, if you hate the game so much why are you still here in the fandom? And ruining it for the rest for us?

If you do feel unsafe, follow steps I mentioned above. Talk to people, block tags, block people, and mind your own business without policing others in what they can and cannot do. Unfortunately, the creators who do feel unsafe because of the toxic group cannot talk them, because the moment someone even slightly disagrees with them, or tries to respectfully discuss why they’re being “cancelled” the cucks start screeching like full-blown autists.

You’re not the law enforcement, you are (most likely) a minor who isn’t even allowed on tumblr in the first place, and who has no idea how the internet, or fandom spaces in specific, even work.

Fucking hell I miss 2014 Tf2 fandom sometimes. 

~~

I hope this ramble makes sense, and again I’m sorry for making this so long.

And I’m sorry for posting drama again, I don”t like it either, and i usually have a lot of patience, but after a few years of this shit, i have come to reach my boiling point, and i just snapped, I’m sorry.

I sometimes refer to the cucks as you, idk why, but just now that isn’t referring to you anon.

Hopefully this will be the last of drama/discourse for now.

Thank you for reading, have a good day. 

-pop 

[mytwitterisdogtoast1]

Dragonball GT is the worst series of all the Dragonball series.

I recently watched a video created by Totally Not Mark about which series is better out of GT and Super when it came to the franchise in general and part of me remembered my huge dislike towards the series so I figured I’d get on my keyboard and do that good ol’ fashioned “post an opinion” onto Tumblr because that is what the site is mostly for. So Instead of posting about how I think super is better I’m going to just post why the hell GT is a horrible show to me and the things it gets right and why in general the show is horrible. Now before I get into that context I am in no way a super fan or the type of person who says that subs are better than dubs because we all love anime and shouldn’t restrict others from liking their thing because we fill we are superior to each other based on our willingness to read or because we think “that the voice actors in Japan are so much better and you lose the feeling you get when you watch Americans try and fail at it”. Look as a filthy casual who usually never gets angry or upset at most things my reasons for disliking GT aren’t going to be what most people would see as a bad thing or even say the reasons I like GT are the exact same reasons and if you can come to appreciate the reasons I give that’s cool and if you disagree that is fine as well as long as it leads to civil discourse because again, it’s anime and no one is superior in their likes to another just because of some arbitrary reasons. In the end, it’s all just cartoons. So before I get into why i dislike GT at every turn I see it show up I have to praise it for what it does right to me. That is the visuals of the how the characters looks. See I get that it’s like 10 years into the future or something like that and some people now look way too old like Krillin or just don’t show up ever unless it doesn’t matter but with who we got they look great and I would never take away how good they look. Also the villains as much as I will get into them are actually kinda cool in their own right and aren’t the worst ideas just implemented in such a poor manner that any real good they do is kinda mitigated by the fact that they are almost identical to some other villain in the end. So now with that out of the way I’m going to get into why GT is one of the worst anime of all time. At least to me.  So what makes Dragonball so great is it is a comedy genre even near the final seasons. They either had shitty reasons to amass an army or in general did silly things like make a holiday after themselves when they finally succeeded in ruling the world but in the end the genre of action anime is pretty much parodied with how it is a child who goes in and defeats these muscle men. We have a child who was never really raised by a normal adult trying to fit into a world outside of his normal views and fights these villains who against normal people would lose but in the end they all end up losing to a little boy. It’s a nice adventure with laughs and enough action to really get people to enjoy it. As much as I like Dragonball I never really liked it as much as Z. Yes I do know that it is mostly just Z over here in the west but I don’t see them really being the same manga with the shift in tone that the two had and the styles of adventure they ended up having in Z is so vastly different in comparison that to me they are totally different series when compared to each other. Also I was growing up when Z first came over to America so I didn’t see Dragonball until after it made its first debut on Toonami. So again, totally different series to me.  As for Z? Well Z is my favorite anime of all time. It’s by far not the best anime ever but I do believe it is the best action anime of all time for a couple of reasons. 1: I love how in the end they just fight better versions of the previous final boss. Vegeta? That’s just stronger Raditz who can transform. Frieza? That’s just stronger Vegeta who can transform multiple times. Cell? Thats just stronger Frieza who can transform multiple times, Regenerate, Use everyones powers, and also absorb people. You get the picture by now. Everyone else who comes after is just a “better version” of the last and that tickles my fancy. 2: It helped make certain parts of the genre of shonen manga via the introduction of tropes. Transformations weren’t really a thing before Z came along and pretty much every action anime since then has used tropes that Z has introduced. 3: It still holds up today in being a good anime and manga and in general the popularity of it was so big that even now when I’m a 30 something year old that it got a new series to continue even after GT finished it off in Super. These are the reason I think it’s the best action anime of all time but again, feel free to disagree if you want to.  As for why GT is such a shit show to me it all comes down to the fact that it introduces absolutely nothing new when it comes to itself that even the villains and the characters are a little in general copies of other characters. That and no one matters compared to Goku. If we start it off sure we have people like Trunks and Pan and even “insert comedy character who is only here because plot that could just be ignored and even removed” A.K.A. Giru. See the series starts off pretty generic in that Goku is training Uub up in the look out. He just disappeared and is finishing his time in what I assume was a 10 year training session. We are introduced to our first “villains” in Pilaf and his crew. They are finding out about not only gods look out but they also find a new set of dragonballs. Convenient plot details that are either confusing or just there to set up the series. Firstly before I get into that why was this never said before, Why did Bulma never pick up on these dragonballs, Why did pilaf just now find them if he’d been searching his entire life after dragonball? So many questions in general but still. Not the point. The point is this, they don’t have a real reason except to introduce our first main villains. Pilaf and his gang. A little weird when you look at it cause Pilaf has been bested so many times that him succeeding now seems like a stupid thing to happen. Thankfully his success is only to again, push the story. Goku and his gang have to now search for the dragonballs. Which is exactly what happened in Dragonball. This time, it’s across the universe. This is where my ability to really in general compare the shows ends. That is until in general I get to the final stretch. See there are very few things I can equate to Dragonball besides the adventure of the day aspect. You have the obvious nod towards Oolong with Zoonama who both want to marry a girl and end up falling for a boy in drag. You have the fact of Goku with a tech savvy Briefs person as well as a spunky fighter. Goku is a kid. Maybe a couple other things if I looked it up and compared but the main thing is that first section of GT is based heavily on Dragonball in general. The final stretch part begins with the “Red Ribbon Army” copy in the General Rildo part with Dr Myuu who is just also a copy of Android 20. So after this part finishes it kicks into the saiyan saga of DBZ. Baby is by far a complete knock off of 3 villains in DBZ being comprised of Vegeta, Frieza, and Garlic Jr. Why is this so? let’s face it, If you compare those 3 with him its basically a one for one beat on what he does with someone else. Firstly he’s in the body of Vegeta and even when he starts losing he goes and just becomes a great ape. Pretty much what Vegeta does in the first saga of Z. As for Frieza they can both survive in space, Has multiple different forms and lastly he hates saiyans. Now sure the reason is different but the disdain for them is pretty much comparing blue to a lighter shade of blue that looks just like blue. We could even mention that Baby is like Cell in that they are both made by science but the comparisons end there. As for Garlic Jr Baby does the same thing in taking control of people and making them the same as with the black water mist. These are what make Baby pretty much a whole of 3 separate people. Next comes the Androids and cell. Super 17 is pretty much just perfect cell. You have past villains returning to take out Goku. Those of which are Frieza and Cell. Which funny enough Frieza comes back but dies by trunks who warns of 2 androids coming to fight against Goku and kill him. Which comes in the forms of Dr Myuu and Dr Gero. Both of which, are you know, not the main androids being talked about. In fact it’s actually 17 and hell 17. Both of which are going to fuse and make one super android who changes forms into basically cell in that he can absorb energy and also has infinite energy as well. These are basically the main parts except that the end takes multiple people to fight off and kill Super 17. To which they then wish back people with the dragonballs because one of the Z fighters died and they want to bring them back. Seems that it would be fine except for the small little detail of its an evil dark dragon who when after granting the 7th wish he creates these evil dragons. Before I get into those dragons lemme question this. If Kami and Piccolo fused and the dragonballs stopped existing for a bit and it took Dende a new person to create new dragonballs wouldn’t he know of the evil dragons as well as also in general start a new chain thus stopping 7 evil dragons from existing? Oh well, at least we get 7 different dragons for Specifically only Goku to fight against. I can see people saying how can you compare the evil dragons to Buu which it’s a lot easier than you would think. How many different forms of Buu are there? would you guess about maybe 7? Cause there are 7 different forms of Buu. 6 of which are different forms when he absorbs other people. So lets take it this way. Omega Shenron also absorbs 6 different “people” in the 6 different dragonballs that aren’t his. Sure, he only gets one more form in that he has now been transformed into Omega from Syn Shenron but still. Transformations are a check. So what are the 7 different forms of Buu? 1:Kid Buu 2: Buff Buu which is when he absorbs the southern Supreme Kai. 3: Fat Buu which he gets from absorbing the Supreme Kai. 4: Evil old Buu. 5: Super buu. 6: Super buu with Gotenks absorbed. 7: Super Buu with Piccolo absorbed. 8: Piccolo with Gohan absorbed. Now some of you might be saying “that’s 8 different forms of Buu and not 7″ But in the end Syn and Omega are both different “forms” thus making 8 different forms of dragons as well. The main part that gets annoying though is how they defeat Shenron. Firstly they use fusion and then don’t win even though they could have in the end. Why? Arbitrary reasons. See in Z it was because Vegito wanted to be fused to save the others. In GT it’s cause they needed to defeat him with the spirit bomb. Just like they did with Buu. Both spirit bombs are also involving a larger amount of people than normal. In Z it was all of earth. Every person. In GT it was the whole universe. That’s not even the final part of how it’s the same. At the end of Z Goku says goodbye to his friends and fucks off. GT does the exact same thing. The show is honestly pretty much a beat for beat of Dragonball and Z. It adds nothing to the universe and what it does add  is half assed. Things like Vegeta having an epiphany that Goku is better than him twice at the final end villain or having Goku lose a tournament as a child or stuff like that fill in the cracks of the shit cake that is GT with more shit that doesn’t help or make it better. GT even fails to make what it had that was great good. The use of a new level of SSJ to defeat Baby was also used in the same ways of how Kaioken wasn’t enough to beat Frieza and then SSJ was also attained then. Everything is on a bigger scale while being comparable to the smaller scale before it. The reason I don’t compare this with Super as that even when it takes from earlier seasons of DBZ or anything else it is fresh in comparison. Goku and Vegeta doing their rivalry? not beat for beat. Older characters? They have use. Repeat villains? Frieza is almost a completely new person with his arc in that he now knows he needs to train and actually does and also does some good and even respects Goku. That’s why I don’t compare the two because they are incomparable. GT? It’s pretty much a shitty version of what came before it.

[lildevyl]

I’m Taking A Break

Hey Everyone in the JSE/Markiplier/Sanders Sides Community,

I’ve been thinking long and hard on this and I still don’t know how to word this.  I’ve been sitting on this for almost a week now, and I still have no idea if what I’m about to say is a good thing or not.  I’ve been in the Markiplier Community for about two years now and I’ve been in the JSE Community for about a year now.  And the one thing that I notice, no matter how bad things get, no matter how much discourse or toxicity come into play in the Community.  Many of us, still help each other out, we still have each other’s backs, a lot of us (myself included)  keep “their inboxes open” for those who need or want to rant/rave/talk or just need a sounding board.

So, here goes  .   .   .

I’m going to be taking a break.  I don’t know for how long, but I need to step back from Tumblr, Discord, basically from the fandoms in general.  I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will be back!  

If you’re wondering why, please read the reasons under the cut. It was really hard for me to write all this so, please, don’t be too hard on me. But when I do officially, come back, I’ll be spamming my blog with WIPs and a ton of Memes and/or reblogs.  But yeah, I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm going to be gone for a while.

I’ll see all of ya, during Winter Break (January) or Spring or Summer Break!  Please, try not let anyone get any of ya down.

TW:  Depression (I think), Mention of Depression like systems, Mention of Lost of a Loved One, Mention of Suicidal Thoughts, putting everything out there.

(Reasons are under the cut)

I’m going to try to write this and not break down, no promises though.  Where do I start?

For those of you who don’t know me or just started following me, this is going to be so hard for me to write.  And literally just put myself out there but from what I’ve seen with so many people in these Communities, maybe it’s a good thing to let people know what’s been going on with me.  Some of you may have noticed, especially with my writing, that I’m not doing well.  And I haven’t been doing well for a long ass time!  Actually, it’s about two years now, that I haven’t been doing well, mentally.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me or what’s going on me!  I can go days, weeks even and still be my usual sarcastic, sassy, witty, bad jokes/puns gal (and yes some days are better than others). But then, there are days where I just want to crawl up in bawl and just, bawl my eyes out.  I don’t know how to explain this without sounding crazy, but it’s like having two people telling ya two different things!

One person is telling ya that you’re nothing, that you’ll never be anything, you’re work is nothing, that you getting a degree is completely pointless since you’ll never stand out, you’re just average that’s all you’ll ever be!  You just have mediocre talent, that’s all you’ll ever be is mediocre.  Look around you, this is what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life.  Retail, and never moving forward! 

Then the other person will be telling you to not listen to that voice and all you have to do is just smile.  Pretend that everything's alright!  We can’t let people know that we’re hurting.  If they know that then all they’ll do is just pity us. We have to be the strong, independent, “I got this,” woman.  What will that think if they saw that we not that?

I know it sounds weird and maybe there is something wrong with me, but yeah.   And there have been days where it has gotten extremely bad.  And when I mean bad, I mean bad!  Sometimes, I know what will trigger it and I try to so hard to avoid that at all cost.  Hell, I can’t even watch Doki Doki without skipping so many parts, and one of Sean’s videos last month I had to skip to the end b/c of the warning at the beginning.  And when this happens I try to so hard either ignore the Intrusive Thoughts that’s been plaguing me (unfortunately this doesn’t make the problem go away nor does it help at all!).  And I also try to block them, push them so far back in the back of my mind but the more I try to do that the more, the Intrusive Thoughts keeps popping up (and I don’t mean Remus Sanders form Sanders Sides either!).  And when I can’t ignore it or block or get them out of my head, I tend to lash out on people.  If I have done that to anyone reading this, I am so sorry!

But it also, has gotten so bad with these thoughts that at one point.  I literally wondered, “Would anyone noticed?”  If I stopped posting all together and never made another post ever!  Would anyone noticed?  If I literally never showed up at work ever again!  Would anyone noticed?  If you’re wondering where this is going, or have figured it out.  Yeah, I had thought about it or even wondered about suicide.  When that happened I knew that I needed help, it’s just that I’ve been so ashamed!  Ashamed that I’m not “Normal.”  That I’m battling with myself and don’t even know what the hell is wrong with me?!  That “Normal” people don’t have constant mood swings when there not on their period.  That “Normal” people don’t fucking start crying for no reason!  I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I need to seek help to figure it out.  I did group therapy before but it was, “It sounds like you have this.  It might be this.  It sounds like you might have this and my (insert family/co-worker/partner here) had it and this what they did.”  And it would work for a while but then it would stop working after a while and then I’m back at square one.

The other big reason why I need to take a break is because recently I lost my Grandpa.  He was 84 years old when he passed away.  We had his funeral last week and it still hitting me hard.  I know this would be the last thing that he ever wanted me to do would be sitting here bawling my eyes out.  He would want to celebrate and share stories about the life he had.  I know he’s with Grandma, but it still hurts!

Right now, I’m looking for a therapist.  If anyone has any recommendations, I’ll be more then grateful to try them!  But I’m not going to be on Tumblr, Discord, or any other Social Media for a while now.  All of this on top school (I’m going to pass that damn class!) and working at a job that I am absolutely starting to hate right now!  Yeah, I need to get my shit together!  And when I do come back, I’ll be posting again.

Oh, and HAPPY WRITING!  HAPPY THEORIZING!  HAPPY CREATING!!!

And as always, I’ll see all of ya guys, gals, demons, ghouls and Fiends, in the next post.  C’ya!

[astharoshebarvon]

vampire knight

Will this be a rant? Of sorts, maybe.

It seems now there is another discourse in VK fandom, this time about whether Ren and Ai will be a romantic couple or not. Firstly, Hino is drawing them in a suggestive way, that’s true.

Do I care if they end up together or not? Not really. She has drawn Kaname and Zero in a suggestive way many times, hell, even in recent covers Zero is literally all over Kaname. Not to mention Zero/Kaname has way more fanfictions and incredible fanarts than either of the canon straight couples. It’s true, just check it.

Think what you want, above illustration is pure Zero/Kaname and Yume.

And, in the below one, Zero’s hand...Sorry, two rivals and enemies just don’t do that.

Look at the above illustration, that’s not how two guys stand if they are enemies, they just don’t.

Secondly, both Ai and Ren have an intense need of another’s blood. Now, many people say their relationship is creepy…

Sorry, but many shoujo mangas and mainstream novels have the same crap. The girl is obsessed with the boy and also ends up with him. Yikes. Gross.

And, those stories are celebrated. So, why be against these two? Oh, wait, it’s because they are not hetero.

Hino is not doing anything great even if they do come out as a couple, Clamp has done it many times and Clamp works are way more popular than Hino’s can ever be.

X, a shoujo genre manga has Kamui and Fuuma.

They loved each other, don’t even try to argue with me about it.

Seishirou and Subaru, the most tragic couple of manga and anime are also in it. CCS has Yue with Clow Reed, Yukito/Yue and Touya, Sakura and Tomoyo, some of these feelings are one sided, but none of them are hated.

These couples are way more popular than whole VK manga. Rg Veda, another shoujo has Amaterasu and Souma, Taishakuten and Ashura-ou, Yasha and Ashura can also be interpreted as an M/M couple. Oh, wait. That’s canon. They are together in Tsubasa.

And, don’t get me started on Fai and Kurogane. There you go people, these are shonen and shoujo mangas which have same sex couples.

And, the readers know there was something going on between Fai and Kurogane even if it’s not stated explicitly.

Clamp literally said,”do not call Fuuma and Kamui brothers”. They are soulmates. They don’t even mention the obsessed fangirl, kotori.

Arina Tanemura, whose stories are a perfect example of a  fangirl ending with the guy they were after, also has a single M/M couple in one of her works. Mostly in her stories, the main girl likes one guy, but in the end, that guy never ends up with her. He ends up with one of the obsessed fangirls.

Am I still bitter about how dirty the mangaka did Itsuki Otomiya? Yes. The sweetheart doesn’t even know Haine was his daughter, and the whole bloody cast had coloured illustrations, a freaking artbook is there for the series, but not a single illustration for him. Yikes.

I hope she redeems herself and makes Tokita and Chikage a couple in 31 Ai dreams. The only series of hers which didn’t have this cliché was Sakurahime Kaden and Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne.

And, let’s be honest, Eiichi would have have ended up with another fangirl if he wasn’t dead in Full moon. Thank god he was spared that bullshit. But, then again, he dies. That’s not good either.

Gentleman’s alliance cross, Nekota are just bad. Yes, the art is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean the males of her series deserved to end up with obsessive fangirls.

The one with underage relationship, Nekota or whatever [thank god that was never picked up by Viz.] In this, the blue haired dude, Serizawa, who the main girl liked from the beginning didn’t end up with her, he ended up with a fangirl. Ugh.

And, it is incestuous, the girl has feelings for her underage cousin.  Right.

Her art is beautiful, but damn it, her stories are so annoying.

For her only M/M couple in shinshi doumei cross, she had to make one half of the MM couple a cross dresser.

The guy, Maora was wearing woman’s clothing every time he and Maguri were shown together. He was never once shown as his real, tall self with Maguri.

And, she has said she isn’t comfortable with yaoi, but is okay with shonen ai.

Right.

But the point is, it’s been done many times.

In Hana Kimi, one of the protagonist’s elder brother is gay. He was the school’s physician if I am not wrong. So, Hino is not doing anything new.

Kyou Kara Maou is a shoujo manga, but it has Wulfrum and Yuri, two guys as a main couple. Granted, nothing happens, but they are engaged.

The manga was published in Asuka, a shoujo magazine.

Same goes for uraboku, Luka loves Yuki, regardless of the fact whether he is a female or a male. Senshirou and Kuroto were together, Hotsuma and Shusei were married in previous lives and they were very much together in the present as well.

Do I think Ren and Ai will end up together, I dunno. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. But I don’t think she will show them as a couple. If she will, fine. If she doesn’t, then also fine. They have an intense desire to be with each other, and their relationship is not parallel to Kaname and Yuuki’s or Haruka and Juri’s.

One can say they are like Rido, Yuuki’s uncle, not like the above two couples.

There are many differences between them and the two couples.

And, let’s not forget the harem Sara created, in fact she even kissed one of the girls.

Do I care about Ren and Ai ? No.

My sole reason for reading this manga is: Yume. Just bring Yuuki back and show Yume happily ever after. I really don’t care who ends up with whom.

But some reasons regarding Renai are hypocritical. This manga has incest, why are you being bothered by it now? Hell, she drew Ichiru and Zero in suggestive way too, and Zero’s care for Ichiru could also be questioned in that case.

I am not sure if the above is Zero and Ichiru or Zero with another personality of his, I don’t want to see my artbook right now, but it can be seen as Zero and Ichiru.

We don’t like yuri and yaoi.

Well, in that case I really hope it happens so it’ll tick off the people who make this statement. Yes, it’s a derogatory statement.

If the mangaka wants to do it, she can, it’s her choice. Hate her for it, plenty do. Zekis and yumes do for their reasons. I dislike the way she does things too, I hate many things she has done. But, hey she still did them.

Read Yona of the dawn in that case, that’s the only series which isn’t “problematic”

But,  Kija and Jaeha can be shipped in that too. I do ship them. And, the author has drawn shonen ai doujinshi’s.

And, Yona was in love with Su-won in the beginning, who is her cousin. Incest is incest, whether it’s between siblings or cousins, they are family.

I really don’t think Hino will show Ren and Ai as a couple. Siblings who are weirdly close, yes. Romantic couple, I don’t think so. If I am wrong, fine.

Just give me my Yume happy ending, and Takuma and Seiren scenes. I literally don’t care about the kids relationship. I just don’t. First, I had to suffer through that traitor’s crap with the stupid bint, Sayori, now this.

Edit :  Finally I read this chapter…

I don’t understand how anyone can even compare whatever crap that is going on between Ai and Ren to Yume and Haruka / Juri. The Kuran couples never looked so fucking weird with each other.

I was absolutely right in thinking their feelings for each other are reminiscent of what Rido felt. Just because Ai is Yume’s daughter doesn’t mean she’s a perfect character. Give me a break. Then again she had a crush on Zero as well.

And, she was raised among people like Ruka and Aidou, traitors and obsessed idiots. It’s no wonder she turned out idiotic.

She looks weird when she says, “she had her sister with her” to Youko.

I am not going to post the image cause its just bad.

Yume and Haruka/Juri were never so fucking creepy. Never.

Ren is just so bland and sad in everything that I don’t know what to think. Youko was the only one who wasn’t weird in this Ch.

The author should just wrap this up, it’s neither interesting nor is evoking any feelings in readers. It’s as bad Sayori/Aidou crap. Just stop with the useless story arcs, show Kaname and Yuuki together and end this shit.

I really don’t think the two girls will end up together. Their scenes aren’t sweet, and if she wants to show them, just do it and move on. They are both boring and least interesting. They are so bad it will not matter whether are together or apart.

They are as bad as other creepily obsessed M/F couples in novels and shoujo manga where the obsessed fangirl ends with the boy. This trope itself is gross. Who even cares about them?

They are only being hyped because they are two girls. When people thought Ren was a boy there wasn’t much reaction. I know there wasn’t. But now that they are two girls…

Hate them because they are stupid, no point in saying we don’t like them because its FF relationship. That’s just bigotry. Or maybe the author should be honest and say I wanted Zero and Kaname to fuck but Yuuki kept on getting in the way. So, I decided to pair their daughters together. because according to the author incest is fine in VK.  Just drop this crap already Hino.

I mean what the hell is up with this boring arc ?

I don’t even understand why stupid shit like this is overlooked in MF couples but if same happens in same sex, everyone is like, looks its unhealthy.  Incest, age difference, obsessed idiots/ fangirls, they are all bad.

I love Clamp, but that Rika and Terada thing was just plain gross. Same goes for Rin and Sesshoumaru.

I kept on telling myself about the latter one, no they are a parent child relationship. But at one point, I had to accept it was anything but family love. I love Sesshoumaru and always will. But I can’t get behind Rin/Sessh or whatever nonsense it was. Sessrin is celebrated, it’s a fact. It’s creepy, don’t deny it.

I know some of their artists and Sesskag [yuck] kept on leaving rude comments on SessKik fanworks, my favourite ship.

And Terada/Rika thing is overlooked because, let’s be honest CCS is fucking awesome. I overlook it and concentrate on yue yukito/ touya, syaoran/sakura.

I just want this RenAi thing to go away. I can’t stand either of them. Just show Kaname and Yuuki together and end this series. Hino should wrap it up and start a new one. VK will not gain the popularity it had at one point no matter what. The author is just coming off as desperate.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

baratrongirl replied to your post “Really do not understand why GameFreak took out the Hall of Fame...”

I'd be interested to hear what you don't like about Sword/Shield. For me, it's quite the opposite. I played the hell out of the 3rd and 4th Gens, then struggled to finish White and didn't buy White 2. Didn't finish SoulSilver, or whichever of X or Y I got, and became completely bored about 10 hours into Alpha Sapphire despite being all motivated to play the game with my original Sapphire team only now I know what I'm doing. Didn't even BUY Sun/Moon.

Then I hung out with my Pokemon friends over Sword/Shield launch weekend, watched them playing on the TV, and had to immediately borrow a spare Switch so I could play too. By the end of the weekend I'd bought the Switch and paid to download my own copy of Shield. I have a few issues with it, mostly relating to the lack of clothing options for male characters, but otherwise I'm finding it the blast of fresh air that I needed to get back into the Pokemon games.

I’ve heard a lot of people say something similar, that SwSh was a nice upgrade from the past couple gens. I started slipping around XY - didn’t wanna buy a 3DS and didn’t until Omega Ruby came out, since Ruby was the first one I’d played - and after I finished the Team Flare plot of X I just gave up for three years and only last year finished the 8th gym and the league. I honestly don’t remember much of playing OR. I think it was a weird kind of frantic nostalgia-fueled haze but I genuinely cannot comment on what I liked about that game. It’s a blank in my memory. Really enjoyed Sun and Moon, like Sword but get bummed the longer I think about it. But I did buy it because I did see a ton of people saying it was a change they were enjoying, quality-of-life upgrades, fun new features, etc. Different strokes and all.

My biggest gripe on Sword is that the world feels pretty empty. Besides the Wild Area, and its few secluded corners, though it’s really a straightforward place, there’s nothing to explore. The plot grabs you by the hand and pulls you to every location. There’s nothing off-the-way that you don’t go to for the main plot. There’s nothing like Kanto’s Power Plant, or Alola’s Power Plant - which I didn’t even realize was there on my first pass through, and then I was like “hey what’s this little place, OH MY GOD WHAT THERE’S MORE STUFF HERE.” The region is a linear loop. There’s no weird little caves that aren’t plot relevant that you get scrambled up in. There’s nowhere that’s locked until you beat the League, like the other half of Poni Island or those last upper bits in Unova or the Battle Frontier in Sinnoh. I had canvassed the Wild Area for everything by the time I went to the final tournament. There’s nowhere else to go. Sure I went back through the Wild Area to catch more stuff to fill out my Pokedex, but new places? Nothing. There’s nowhere to go back to once you can cross water except the little lake by the professor’s house. Not like in Sun/Moon where there’s bits on prior islands to go back to with Lapras. That cave underneath the starting island to go check out I’m thinking of. Galar is a pretty bare-bones region and the Wild Area doesn’t fully compensate.

Which ties to my other biggest gripe, which is, there are three legendary Pokemon in the game and one of them is the opposite version’s exclusive that you can’t get. Two legendary Pokemon! Two legendary Pokemon you can catch! And you catch them both in the course of the plot! There’s nothing like the Regi trio hidden by batshit puzzles, or Cobalion/Terrakion/Virizion tucked in out-of-the-way corners. No wandering Lati@s or beast trio. No Tapus or anything. You can catch two legendary Pokemon.

I think we really peaked back in Gen 3 with its visual Braille puzzles and Gen 4 with whatever the everloving fuck the Turnback Cave was on about. The weird locations that hurt your brain. I miss those. I miss the tricky caves you get lost in and spend time figuring it out. Galar didn’t have caves. The mines were basically a straight shot, yknow? When I’d like to go deeper and have more to explore instead of feeling like I’m taking a walking tour of the whole region.

And the DLC looks like it’ll deal at least with that point with more legendaries, which really grinds my gears. In all the discourse about whether or not the DLC is good or bad or neutral, whether the price of video games has needed to go up or the DLC is cheaper than a third version but some people wait for the third version, which I didn’t seek out said discourse but saw pass me by on Twitter, I saw no one mention that we’re paying to get more than two legendary Pokémon and I felt like I was losing my mind for a little while there. I feel like I’m paying extra for something that’s been in every game since the beginning of time, that being more than two legendary Pokémon that I can catch.

And my lesser little gripes: level balance of the game felt a little wonky with the wild Pokemon toward the end higher leveled than all the trainers except Leon, and the always-on exp share made it worse because when I dragged out the plot by catching everything in the Wild Area, my team got way overleveled for the back half of the game and I could curbstomp everyone that passed me. Team Yell were an egregious roadblock and while Pokemon has always had those, the prominence of Team Yell was exasperating. I prefer environmental roadblocks, like water and back when we used to have other HMs, those feel a little better than two dudes standing in the middle of a wide road.

And why, oh WHY, did GameFreak downgrade after XY and only have fitting rooms in boutiques instead of also in Pokemon Centers? I don’t want to fly to another town to change my clothes! Not every town has a clothes shop but everywhere has a Pokemon Center! I was crusading on this point through Sun/Moon and I will not be stopped until GameFreak puts changing rooms back in Pokemon Centers! (They will probably never do that but I refuse to stop. Forget Dexit; this is the real issue of our time.)

I didn’t mind the limited Pokémon at release because I never transfer my teams thru the games anyway - I’m a sentimental anxious idiot afraid of decisions and commitment and I can’t commit to the one-way transfers to move my teams up to new games. And that plus the Wild Area having trade-evolution Pokemon walking around made me feel like completing my pokedex was actually attainable. So I did!

I don’t hate the game, but I am disappointed by it. I’ve never been a Battle Tower or shiny-hunting person, but I’ve ended up doing those because I don’t know what else to do.

So that’s my opinion on why SwSh has bummed me out more as time goes on, since you were curious.

(Joker from Mass Effect 2 when you ask him for gossip about your teammates voice: “But that’s just my opinion, no need to go spreading it around.” ;) I’ll gladly chat with friends but the poke-discourse got too intense on twitter and I am not inviting that kind of bad energy into our lives. None of us deserve that.)

I’ve still got a lot of endgame stuff for Sun and Moon, UB hunting and I haven’t made it to the Battle Tree yet because my Moon team is getting its ass kicked by everything because I turned the exp share off and overcompensated in the wrong direction and am chronically underleveled. There’s a certain charm for me in being underleveled because I used to have endless patience to overlevel my team to extremes because my childhood anxiety was something like “if I die in the game I die in real life???” and I was terrified of losing and now I’m like “blacks out twice in a row in Moon as I go toward the postgame stuff yolo”. So when I feel like playing Pokemon I’ll probably spend more time in Alola, when I’m not trying to hatch that damn shiny Rookidee because I accidentally committed to that.

[arsonforcharlie]

so, fuck squad recap! i’m gonna put a quote from me at the end of the night at the beginning because yikes, shit is getting real.

“discourse and discord, that’s what i call d&d!”

Rhonia: “Fuck squid! The cake says fuck squid!” “You guys are never having a undersea adventure.”

Saida: “Creepy.” Sergei: “LISTEN HERE MS. TODD HOWARD” “Mrs. Todd Howard is the goal, I think.” Saida: “That man is the reason faces were invented.”

not to publicly kinkshame my players but hell here we are

yoni has been in the woods communing with desna and trying to start taming the shadow drake

Yoni: “This is Talon. I wanted to name him either Alfonzo or Taco but he didn’t like either.” “NO HE DIDN’T FOR SOME REASON”

Rhonia: “Fucking skeletons is illegal, owning them isn’t.” Maddela: “Is there a difference?!”

“Does anyone want to make a will save to disbelieve Zack’s pants?”

Yoni: “My channel energy means I can kill undead things so I don’t know if I like these skeletons.” “Oh, so now you care about being a cleric!”

Saida: “When they said yes were you holding their skull and making the jaw move?”

there was a whole big thing on the ethics of reanimating skeletons and using them as servants that never really got resolved

“Oh, finally, the fuck squad gets a moral compass.”

[discussing skeletons being withdrawn from human corpses] “They didn’t melt, it’s like, have you ever taken off a coat and thrown it on the floor behind you?” Sergei: “THAT’S NOT BETTER”

they temporarily stop discussing whether rhonia’s new skeleton army is moral in order to go to fantasy pawn stars to sell some stuff they stole from the haunted house

while selling the junk, both Rhonia and Saida rolled nat 20s for diplomacy checks

little did we know that unexpected natural 20s would be a theme of the night

Yoni: “Pleasure doing business with you, sir. Do I have to roll bluff?”

Sergei also got a horse figurine and Rhonia got shortswords for her skellingtons at the fantasy pawn stars- they ended up actually paying fantasy rick harrison twice for it

Yoni, on a blanket for Talon: “Can it have gold in it? It doesn’t need to have a ton. Also I’m rich.”

Rhonia: “Listen, everyone has skeletons, they’re perfectly natural!” Sergei: “Not when they’re walking around with all their skin off because they sloughed it off on the floor of the morgue!”

Rhonia: “They can’t be slaves if they never had free will.”

Sergei: “Liches cant be pets.” “Maybe certain liches are if they have very specific tastes.”

so down to the matter at hand- namely, going up north to where Scrom lives so Saida can visit! jasper finds them a travelling merchant friend of his named lachenta, and she agrees to take them up there for a small fee

Sergei: “Why are all of us going on Saida’s booty call?” Saida: “Never split the party?”

“Can we hook the skeletons up to the cart?”

Maddela: “Can we assume we’re in a world where the equator is to the south of us?” “blank stare” Saida: “Shut up, fake fantasy farmer’s almanac”

Saida: “He’s a shadow drake, he breathes shade” “Haaahhhhhhh, Saida this coat doesn’t go with those pants, you look like shit”

Yoni: “Never split the party! That’s why I’m in the air vents”

“She pulls up with two horses.” Sergei “Are they alive?”

Sergei rolls to make friends with the horses and does a phenomenal job

Saida: “Are we there yet?” “You’re not in the wagon yet.”

before he leaves, sergei gives reaper his harde and narder notebook, and takes Rhonia’s so they can stay in touch

yoni and saida, meanwhile, have been using their notebooks to just draw a bunch of dicks

Reaper uses the notebook to send Sergei a drawing of his own dick

“If you set the notebook on fire that’d be tinder”

Sergei “Is your pet super evil?” Yoni: “Uhhhhhhh, we’re working on that?”

Sergei: “Saida’s our problematic fave.” “Fave is a big word.”

“Roll animal handling to teach ethics to the drake”

on the last night of their journey, they’re sitting around a campfire with lachenta, telling stories, when a few people notice the sound of footfalls in the nearby brush, and a couple more notice a musty, almost metallic odor filling the air

sergei: WHO FARTED

they find themselves surrounded by orcs with glowing white eyes that, in the darkness, appear to have weird fleshy lumps on them. as they move into the firelight, it becomes apparent that those are mushrooms growing on them

Saida: “Rhonia, is this spread sexually?” Sergei: “How would Rhonia know?”

Saida: “Sergei started yelling about farts.” Sergei: “That was largely out of character.”

“I’m gonna say that sense motive is gonna have a heavy penalty because they’re just glowing pricks of light. Sergei: “Heh. Pricks.”

rhonia sets up a defensive line of skeletons, and they begin the battle. lachenta runs out to help, misses the orc she was fighting twice, and the orc rolls 2 goddamn natural 20s in a row and kills her. SO UH THERE GOES THAT BIT OF THE PLOT I HAD PLANNED

“Oh, I’m Rhonia, they’re half-orcs, half snack, I love that!” Sergei: “Aren’t all orcs half snack or is that just if you’re Saida?”

as they kill some of the orcs, some people have to roll fort saves.

maddela: “I.... rolled a 7.” “You feel fiiiine. No, really. Fiiiiiiine.”

speaking of saves, on one of the last orcs they have left to fight, maddela rolls a crit, which means i get to pull out something i’ve had in my pocket for a while. you see, in the haunted house, maddela got a dope new sword. and it turns out that the fuck squad is not great at perception checks that tell you that a sword is haunted, so up until maddela rolled a crit which triggered a similar effect to the song of discord spell, they had no idea

it was a pretty dope sword tho

so maddela and rhonia both attack the nearest people. rhonia goes after sergei, and maddela goes after yoni

and maddela rolls another crit, knocking yoni out and triggering another song of discord, and rhonia and sergei fail their saves

the orcs are now entirely off the table as the party attacks each other

“yelling what the fuck is a free action!”

saida rolls to non-lethal punch rhonia with the gauntlet of far-seeing since she saw rhonia attack sergei

Saida gets a crit on that, and uses the memory power to see Rhonia sitting in a large stadium tent, eating a candy apple, watching the circus, her mom lifting a ton of crazy shit, including pashmina, so that’s nice

rhonia then boneshakers saida, doing a ton of damage, and sergei kills another of rhonia’s skeletons

meanwhile, since she is no longer under the effects of the spell, Maddela heals Yoni and yoni immediately stabs her.

“I’m trying a new thing with gming where I make you face actual challenges!”

Yoni: “Maddela, I’m never gonna heal you.” “Oh, that’ll be a change.” “Hey, I almost know how it works now!”

Saida: “I don’t know about me, I got a bone to pick with Rhonia.” Sergei: Heh. Bone.”

saida: “If Scrom’s infected I swear to Christ I’m not dating any more.” Sergei: “Yeah, don’t fuck him if he’s got mushrooms on his dick.”

Sergei: “At least those horses are already my friends.”

Saida: “This is like that time we had to burn down that house with the guy in it.” “Had to is a pretty big word.” “I ROLLED REALLY BAD”

so the session ends with everyone mistrusting everyone else, the first new npc i made for this arc just completely fucking dead, and now i’ve gotta rewrite some shit because jesus christ

[wakraya]

Jacksepticeye: *Plays Hiveswap and praises its art style, music and humor, visibly enjoys the story and the characters and praises it, shows perhaps a light interest in Homestuck itself*

Y’all: Omg LUL prepare for the exposure to ruin the Fandom, Undertale 2.0 here we goooooo.

VIZ Media: *Partners up with Hussie to bring Homestuck to a wider audience, with plans to deliver hard cover books for every Act, making a Homestuck.com website, and working with Hussie in future projects to deliver the Epilogue and more content*

Y’all: Wow I can’t believe Hussie is a sellout, this is so bad.

Stop it. Please stop it.

Joking about ‘fearing’ Homestuck content or ‘the ride never ending’ and it being hell was never funny and it never will be. We’re on the brink of actually having new people come into the Fandom, we have a good game, exposure thanks to Youtubers and Streamers playing Hiveswap, and promises for future content by a big company related to Manga and Anime.

And all you can talk about is how ‘bad’ this is?

If it was stupid Homestuck hate, I could get it. I really could. The Fandom had bad reputation back in the day, and it was extremely undeserved in my opinion, much like how Fandom hate is thrown around nowadays soooo easily. But I could get it, if someone hated Homestuck, being an asshole. But if you’re a fan of the content, why the FUCK are you trying to sabotage it?

To people outside of the Fandom it looks like people can’t stand Homestuck. To people in the Fandom it looks like you’re being an asshole. You don’t like Homestuck? Then don’t post about it. You like it? Then don’t act like an elitist asshole.

If you’re afraid of a bad side of the Fandom being rekindled, and all you can do is shove people away, insult possible newcomers and question actually good business decisions, then you know what? Congratulations! YOU ARE THE BAD SIDE OF THE FANDOM. No one is holding you hostage, to this Fandom, to any Fandom. You don’t want to see content? Blacklist it, don’t go into the tag, unfollow/block people. You WANT to see content? Then stop talking about it as if it was the End of the World every time there’s something going on.

Homestuck is something dearly important to me. And I know it’s niche, and I know it’s weird, but it’s been an experience being in the Fandom that’s really shaped me, it’s something that will stick with me for a long time, if not forever. And the Fandom itself has been really good too for most of the part! The art, the music, the talking with people, the support! But every single time something like this happens, toxicity begins to rise for absolutely no reason at all.

Let Homestuck have a Fandom.

Let people enjoy it without ironically throwing shit around.

You don’t want toxicity to increase and discourse to return? Then contribute to it. If you’re enough of a Fan to be insulting things and people, you’re enough of a Fan to shut down toxicity as it begins to rise.

The downfall of Fandoms right now isn’t the content, it’s not the toxicity or the cringe, it’s you policing how a specific Fandom has to work, enforcing stereotypes about Bad Things and Cringey Things, and then doing NOTHING to actually help stop Toxicity.

There’s nothing worse than a Fandom that doesn’t appreciate and try to better itself.

Don’t let this happen. Let Fans, new and old, enjoy Homestuck without shame.

And I know a lot of you don’t actually mean it and are just bandwagoning on the meme, and I bet even I may have reblogged or said something stupid like that before, but come on! This is an exciting time for everyone involved, it should be a matter or rejoicing, new Homestuck Books with commentary, the Game’s first Act finally out, famous Youtubers (@therealjacksepticeye) and Streamers playing Hiveswap and talking about Homestuck, hell, Rev Scarecrow from Vinesauce (@revscarecrow) took a God Tier test!!! How CRAZY is that??? Even in the prime of Homestuck Popularity I could’ve never imagined something like this. This is big. This is GOOD.

Why can’t you all just enjoy this as the good thing it is?

Please.

[pinkipie100]

Hi there. I read your analysis about The Voltron Show and I really liked it! At one point in that analysis, you mentioned that you feel the Voltron fandom is too quick to feel offended over how Hunk is portrayed in the show. Do you think it's possible that you could elaborate on that, if you wanted? And do you feel that this "overly-sensitive attitude" within the fandom extends to Lance's portrayal in the show as well?

Me? 27000 years late to an ask? HA HA HA!

…Always. Sorry, @thenorthernphoenix, I’ve been absent for quite a while, and I totally forgot my askbox was a thing.

Anyway, a thousand times thank you for reading my meta! To answer your question, and I may receive a lot of heat for this, but I think the Voltron crew have handled Hunk’s portrayal well, actually, and I’ll explain why. Hopefully concisely. Definitely not concisely.

First of all, Hunk is fat. Can we just… admit that? He’s fat. THAT IS OKAY. THAT IS SO OKAY. In fact, I think it’s important for boys who are also overweight to see. They need to know that they can still be the hero, despite their size. I know that a lot of the body positivity schtick has to do with encouraging women to feel comfortable with their bodies regardless of weight, but it’s really important for men, as well! Men probably have a tough time dealing with their body image because they’re expected not to care, but they’re also expected to simultaneously having ridiculously hypermasculine, ripped bodies, or they’re not really ‘a man,’ you know? But if people see Hunk and realize that this guy, yes, is overweight, but still kicks ass and is even the strongest paladin [stronger than Shiro!], that’ll give them just the encouragement they need. [Plus, Hunk is really f*ckin’ hot.]

Second of all, HUNK LIKES FOOD A F*CKING LOT. CAN WE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS?!?!?! Okay, I apologize, I’m getting heated… I just notice that people get extremely angry when Hunk is shown going crazy over food. I just… Of course he will act that way around food, he’s a foodie! Is it funny? Yeah. Does that mean we’re supposed to respect him any less? Of course not! Look, I’m not overweight, but I’m still a foodie! I, in fact, may or may not love food a bit too much in the most weird of ways! [-Food fetish much, Pinki? -Shut the fuh!] I honestly find it laughably relatable when Hunk drools at the sight of a delicious-looking hors d’oeurvre, or climbs over the invisible maze’s walls to get to a fine alien pastry! Like, f*cking me too, Hunk! I don’t know, maybe I’m being insensitive and stupid, but I don’t view Hunk as any less of a character because he’s very food-crazy. Last time I checked, though, no one was up in arms about Po using food to motivate him to become the Dragon Warrior.

I get it, this is just my own opinion. I like to believe that I’m being sensible, though. I’ll admit that, yes, the food jokes get a little old sometimes, but hey, they are still tasteful [dammit… I… I swear I didn’t mean to pun there]. Hunk is always depicted as a master of his craft, educated in the ways of the kitchen. He doesn’t just make junk food, either, he can cook meats; pastas; god forbid, vegetables! Take a look at any other kid’s show, and tell me if you find a fat character who is treated respectfully by their friends like Hunk, is as intelligent as Hunk, and is as three-dimensional as Hunk. Seriously, lemme know, I think I’d give the show a try, if that’s the case.

*whispers* Am I getting long-winded yet…

Okay, now for the second part of your question, I could go on for days about how the fandom basically becomes a volatile gershderned cult when it comes to Lance. The fandom is sensitive about Hunk’s portrayal, no doubt, no doubt- but when it comes to Lance, oh ho, they take it to an entirely new level!

Violent discourse has broken out surrounding Lance’s race, sexuality, mental state, personality, and hell, even his g*ddamn last name! I’m not at all ashamed to say, all of it has been bullsh*t. The f*ckers Lance stans of this fandom will only accept Lance one way, and that seems to be as a 100000% Cuban, 0.00000% American, Not Straight™, mentally unstable, delicately insecure flower that a) must be protected at all costs and b) crying 24/7 unless Keith is there to comfort him. Any time the show contradicts this, it’s the executive producers’ heads.

Voltron Fandom, come close… gather round the fire… I’m about to clear a few things up for you:

One, Lance is a Lady’s Man. YEAH, I SAID IT, AND I WOULD 100% SWOON IF HE USED A PICKUP LINE ON ME, SO FIGHT ME! Heh, but seriously, he likes women. And, you know what? Women like him! Almost every time he flirts with a woman, she shows interest back! …save Allura, but I think we can tell from Lance’s vlog that it’s because he genuinely likes her and doesn’t really know how else to approach her. Does that mean he’s straight? Uh oh… Uh oh… UH OH! IT MIGHT! Well, it might not. He could still be bisexual with a preference for women, which I honestly buy a lot more than him being flamboyantly attracted to both sexes. We can’t assume nothin’ until it’s outright stated, but until then, the fandom needs to be aware that Lance’s actual sexuality is pretty much up in the air.

B, Lance is Cuban. I love this about him, but when people start to throw sh*t when people headcanon him as mixed or possibly born in America or having a Western last name, it kind of ticks me off. Like, what’s wrong with being a little bit white? Does that diminish the value he may have of his Cuban roots? I’m mostly white, but does that make me not give a sh*t about my Chamorro heritage? Of course not! My mom has a Western maiden name, but that doesn’t mean she’s not Chamorro, too! If Lance had a Cuban last name, that’s so great! If he has a Western name, it’s not ‘giving in to the White Man.’ It’s probably just the result of some intermixing with Western people somewhere along his family line, and it could have been generations ago, anyway. About him being Cuban-American… Look, I think Americans can be pretty sh*tty and our country is f*cked up, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. So there’s absolutely nothing wrong with Lance being American-born and proud to be it.

III, stop. Making. Lance. Helpless. Nnkey? I like Langst. I do. But please, administer it in moderation! Write/draw it sensibly! I’m incredibly tired of seeing Lance portrayed by fans as some unstable, immature, dependent crybaby who is unable to control his emotions or stand without the constant support of a Love Interest™ [it’s usually Keith, and as a stalwart Laith shipper, I am sick of this]. I think that, even beginning from the S1-S2 hiatus, the fandom read a bit too deeply into Lance’s impending insecurity arc, and we all got so hyped up to see it, we were disappointed when it wasn’t immediately addressed. I’ve probably said it a thousand times, but once more, with feeling: Lance’s arc will be slow-burn. We’ll get snippets of his insecurities here and there, just breadcrumbs that will lead up to the climax of his arc, and it’ll be awesome. But, the fandom needs to have patience until then. I hold faith upon faith in the creators, especially Joaquim dos Santos [Mr. Lance-Is-My-Favorite-Paladin himself], to deliver a delicately laid story unfolding around Lance that we will all love once complete, and wonder why we were ever upset.

In conclusion, I very much agree that the fandom is WAY too overly sensitive about how Lance is portrayed in-canon, and it’s actually warping their perceptions of reality. They think that they’re the only ones who know what Lance is really like, and that the writers of the actual g*ddamn show are ‘doing it wrong.’ In the show, Lance is friendly, dorky, funny, cocky, emotionally mature, perceptive, and realistic. Fanon Lance is emotionally unstable, dependent, unconfident, incapable, tortured, bullied, and underrated by his teammates. This is not to say that Canon Lance isn’t insecure and somewhat misunderstood by his friends, but he is mature in managing those insecurities and confiding in others [e. g. seeking solace with Keith, believing in Allura]. I just think Lance is a LOT tougher than his stans give him credit for, and I really love that about his arc; he won’t have to be that tough forever, and when he finally lets his barriers down, it is gonna be. Just what the doctor ordered.

ANYWHALE! I apologize for writing basically another meta in response to your ask, especially considering you sat through my whole ‘Voltron Show’ meta! I am so glad you asked, though. I know my wording here is very strong, but I think it’s better for me to be analytically bold than to be apologetically opinionated.

Seriously, thanks again for reading the meta and facilitating discussion about it; you’re an absolute dream! Sorry for being late to answer, and enjoy the rest of your ventures through fandom and meta thereupon!

[cassatine]

Okay so! THE LAST JEDI. I wanted to do a coherent post and all but hings happened so. Spoilers ahead. Like a lot of spoilers. I recommend not reading if you haven’t seen the movie. No really don’t. 

The [tl:dr]: I loved it! I’m also glad I saw it twice. First viewing felt like a weird mix of things I’d expected (including things I expected two years ago and had started thinking would Not Happen) but the way it all worked together was a punch to the gut. Also I cried a lot, which is not great for visibility. Second viewing was more enjoyable. There’s something very smoke and mirror to the story; it plays with expectations and then turns things on their head. It’s a very clever movie, tho it’s definitely got its flaws. I hardly felt the two hours and a half, could actually have done with a longer runtime because some things moved really fast. It’s also very funny, when it’s not breaking your heart and stepping repeatedly on it. In a (mostly) good way. 

The more or less good:

Starting with that assault on the Dreadnought and Paige Tico’s death, the Resistance plot went where SW rarely does. Poe learning to look at the big picture and the sad economics of war and resistance, the bleeding out of Resistance forces, the unsurprising reveal that god guys and bad guys buy their military hardware from the the same sources, it’s a relentless onslaught. The New Republic is a non-entity, the First Order has weapons aplenty, and the stage is set for a new Empire to be born and a new Rebellion to rise, and it’s all very tragic, but it’s a Star Wars, so of course the good guys live to fight another day light the spark at the end, a source of inspiration for every child escaped from a Dickens novel across the GFFA

Finn and Rose’s plot was lovely - Rose was altogether amazing, and her line about fighting to protect what you love rather than destroy what you hate is... a tad cheesy i guess but in the best of ways. I love that she wants to protect her sister’s memory and that it’s freeing the farthiers that makes the Canto Bight events worth it (i mean they’ll probably be caught again in less than a week because that’s the way of the world, but attagirl!), and that “I saved you, dummy” line. That one reviewer that called her the heart of the movie was pretty much right. 

Luke throwing the saber behind him. Mark Hamill was nothing short of great, but this moment was so very understated and yet so defining, so meaningful. also: Rey’s reaction. 

Actually everything to do with Luke was pretty great. His backstory was kept sparse, but he’s basically following in his master’s footsteps by exiling himself on a nowhere planet after a massive fuck-up, very poetic. Being a Skywalker he’s got to take it one step further drama-wise, with the whole *the Jedi will die with me* thing. Vanity!, screams ghost Yoda. 

I love that it’s fundamentally a movie about failure, and what you do after. Luke’s failure of Ben looms large, and behind it there’s the Jedi Order’s failure but he’s not the only one. Poe fails at being a leader. Finn and Rose’s mission fails. Rey fails to turn Kylo, who kind of fails as a general rule. He failed and was failed by Luke, and he kind of failed Snoke as an apprentice, from a certain point of view. All the Resistance’s plans fail. Snoke fails and die. Chewie fails at keeping porgs away. It’s a debacle left and right, and then the 3D-marionette-Yoda gives us deep words of deeper wisdom than even Rose’s, reminding us that in every failure there’s a lesson. When it doesn’t kill you or you’re not a casualty for someone else’s lesson at least hahahaha. 

The Jedi Order’s founding texts and Yoda’s “page-turners they are not” yes thank you 

Snoke and his playing up Kylo and Hux against each other. From the moment he humiliated Hux publicly to his final words, Snoke is skin-crawling awful, moreso than in TFA. There’s not one moment I don’t want to point to and go “eeeeew” about, srsly.

Chewie eating a porg. I feel so validated. 

Kylo’s epic love story with bad choices. Attaboy. 

Force Bond. CAN YOU PUT ON A COWL SOMETHING thanks for this most cliché scene straight out of a romance novel I AM LIVING!!! fucking hell. On a similar note, Rey and Kylo’s handsex. fingertips sex? whatever, it was just wow, tag ur metaphorical porn star wars, please. also: Luke’s reaction. 

Vice-Admiral Holdo is the lady of my heart and if she had to die I guess her death scene was a crowning moment of awesome at least. I wonder if the discourse will now feature fights about “if it was that easy they’d have done it with the Death Stars” and “why didn’t they.” Not looking forward to that. Not looking forward any of the discourse. At all.

The Rey parentage reveal. The scenes on Ahch-to with the dark side spot calling to her and the vision were some of my favourites, and well, Rey Random’s always been my horse, so! Very satisfying. I’m kind of wary at this point, and not sure how much trust I can put in Kylo’s words tbh, but I’m choosing to believe. 

THE THRONE ROOM FIGHT WITH THE LOBSTERGUARDS??? The beginning with Rey and Kylo back to back was EVERYTHING and the whole thing was just perfect G O D

And then the Kylo/Luke fight happened and wow 

RENPEROR i mean - this is the one thing i wanted and had stopped believing in and i got it, he turned against Snoke in yet another crowning moment of awesome (HIS REAL ENEMY!!) and made Hux go long live the supreme leader - at which point i started to pity Hux. He’s having a no good, very bad, terrible day and he suffers so much it’s all kinds of amazing. Anyway, by the end of TLJ, Kylo’s more sympathetic than he was in TFA imo (for general audiences) and graduating to big bad. I kind of expected one or the other, but both at once? 

Something in me is disappointed at the Force plot - I wanted weird eldritch Force shit, and I guess I got some on Ahch-to, but nothing to do with Snoke. As much as I like pretty much everything, including how Snoke’s death subverted expectations and changed the game, I kind of miss the road(s) not taken. 

Speaking of subverted expectations - I think I need (more) sleep and another viewing or two or three to decide how much I actually like it all, but expectations were masterfully subverted. Who Snoke is doesn’t matter because he’s dead, Kylo is still conflicted, Rey kind of became a Jedi but wow does she flirt with the dark side, and Rey Skywalker was found dead and butchered in Miami. The Resistance ends up in tatters, Luke is busy with self-exile and never technically leaves Ahch-to

REY STOLE THE BOOKS oh my girl lbr i would have too

Luke’s final projection act and how beautifully set up it was and his reunion with Leia. Insert river of tears. 

The more or less bad and the stuff that made me sad:

Yoda looked fugly. I can’t not say it. 

I loved Amilyn, and her death was a crowning moment of awesome, but also, a woman died so a man could learn a lesson

on a similar note, a species (nick)named the Caretakers made up of feminine aliens engaged in (mostly) feminine-coded activities 

DJ was rather underwhelming as a character

Rey went really fast from murderous snake monster to ~touching Kylo’s hand - timeline wise, all this happens in huh less... than... 18... hours?? though Ahch-to is like, a vergence, which means time passes differently there, it’s just never made explicit, and it’s still less than 18 hours for Kylo Ben - head hurts - in any case just one more force convo laden with tension could have helped

*Everything* happened really fast tbh. There were a lot of twists and turns, and as I said it’s very clever, but sometimes at the expanse of character growth? it’s a bit bumpier a road

FUCKING INTENDED BOOK BURNING WHAT IS IT WITH YOU STAR WARS WEREN’T THE JEDI ARCHIVES ENOUGH??

RENPEROR yeah it’s both in the good AND the bad because: i wanted it, i wanted it dearly, but also: what. no really, what. 

noooooo rey don’t close the door on kylo don’t nooooo

Okay that’s not much on the bad and there’s things i’m undecided on but that’s long enough. 

[lokgifsandmusings]

Definitive Ranking of Book 1 Episodes, #12/12

12. 1x12 Endgame

Amon stands and lets Korra expose him for drama, Asami and Hiroshi are just like Kevin Bacon, let’s hide in an empty room from the bloodbender, people weren’t all that into justice anyway, and Aang brings the funk.

What? It hasn’t been over 4 months since I last did one of these...get out of here!

For those who don’t know, I’ve been going back and rewatching each LoK episode, then definitively ranking the entire season with a series of metas, starting from “worst” to “best.” Wait, no quotes because it’s DEFINITIVE.

I began with the beautiful, heart stopping, breathtaking, life-changing shitshow that was Book 2, because its flaws in some ways became the show’s greatest strength, so it felt very worth the dive. Then I went to Book 4 probably because that’s the time period that interests me a ton, and it was a solid season, but one that sort of felt like it needed some polish. Book 3 is damn near perfect in my opinion, and the one I want to end on for that reason.

So yup, we’re in Book 1! And here’s the thing: rewatching this show, the first season is the one that gives you the least back. It’s not particularly deep or nuanced. And that’s fine! It did a good job expanding the world building, the aesthetics were beyond on-point, and I’ll stand by the characterizations as pretty dang compelling, even if Mako never landed for me until Book 3.

At the same time, had this been the one season mini-series it almost was...I just don’t see still talking about it. And yes, I say that knowing the end game (you see what I did there?) would have been a bit different. But it doesn’t really change that the greatest success of Book 1 was its set up and potential. So, I guess it’s not a shock that the episode at the bottom of this list is its finale. Which is best depicted here:

Yeah, it sounds harsh for something that was ~fine~, but each time I rewatch it, it gets even less fine. However, there’s also been a lot on this already. If you haven’t already, read @got-your-back-always-will’s piece on why it was so damn disappointing. Or you could read my words where I call it a narrative beer fart (I think I use this term a lot, to be fair), point out the leaps in logic and reasonable action necessary for it everything to occur, and then talk about kind of shitty, sexist, ableist implications. Hell, even my photo recap touches on this.

Yes, it was all unintentional, but just imagine a character as intersectional as Korra being sent off with her depression having been magically healed by a male character (yes I know Aang is her, but imagery matters and she was passively sitting while he did his thing) and then hooking up with the guy who treated another woman as something stuck to his shoe.

And I mean, add to that the way the main plotline just FIZZLED. Oh man, people aren’t oppressed anymore because the guy who wanted to help them was actually a bender? WHAT. Everything Amon and the Equalists were set-up to be, and it just ends with a crowd shrugging and looking sad.

Like...this ending isn’t the worst thing that’s been on TV. It’s just formulaic and feels not well-planned, which is kind of weird because wasn’t this the only season that *had* been fully scripted? I really don’t want to pile on as if it’s the most toxic thing ever (not by a long shot), but would this have actually been satisfying to anyone?

I feel like I’m going to just end repeating myself, and I really don’t want to pile on. So instead, I think it’s important to zoom out and look at what the season was supposed to be accomplishing as a whole.

Korra is the opposite of Aang. Not in a moral sense, but in the sense that Bryke’s process in creating her was literally, “instead of a spiritual, not-super-physical, reluctant male hero who was not happy about his role, what if we had a girl who was super into it, non-spiritual, and kind of a hockey-kid type?”. They talk about this on podcasts and stuff. Aang’s narrative was about how he needed to embrace his role since the world needed him. We’ve seen this before (though Aang and ATLA was very unique, don’t get me wrong) with stories like Harry Potter, or LOTR, or the Star Wars OT, and so on.

That kind of arc is sort of best summed up by this quote from our pal Dumbledore:

“It is a curious thing, Harry, but perhaps those who are best suited to power are those who have never sought it. Those who, like you, have leadership thrust upon them, and take up the mantle because they must, and find to their own surprise that they wear it well.”

But when you have a character that WANTS to be the hero, what do you do? You write a world that doesn’t want *them*. You write a struggle in their quest to find a place for themselves when the role they’re so ready to take on doesn’t really make sense anymore.

This is the point of the Equalists. Benders are the privileged minority, extorting the oppressed masses in the nonbenders. The Avatar in some ways represents the ultimate bender (with her inherent abilities), and is now in a world skeptical, scared, and teaming for revolution.

Specifically against her and her power structure. There’s the spiritual aspect to her role, but she was out-of-touch with it in the first season, while also facing a very here-and-now kind of problem.

The conclusion that Korra needed to reach as a character, and where she gets at the end of Book 2 actually (and then spends Books 3 and 4 fine-tuning that role while also going through a very powerful healing arc) is one where she stakes her OWN claim in the world. She defines her role in a way that’s significant to her and the meaning in her heroism comes from her assertion of that agency, and the way she basically screams for her right to exist into being. The world will find it *does* need her, and here’s why, damnit.

Book 1 didn’t get there at all. Fuck, it didn’t even address things like how Korra’s actions out of bravado were because of her horrible fear of appearing weak. That fear...it’s only something she got over after her healing arc, when she learned that being afraid isn’t a weakness, and she can recontextualize that fear and find a kind of strength in it. Now, it’s possible that whenever it was decided that Book 1 would be 1 of 4 seasons, they made sure to keep room for Korra’s character growth. Except...in 2x01 she’s rather backdialed, so it’s a difficult case to make.

Then, remember how her solution had been (more or less) to punch things? Which is why @projectvoicebend has been referred to as “biting satire” thanks to their exaggerated depiction of that? But in Endgame, she literally saves the day with brute force. Not that Amon *shouldn’t* have been knocked out of a window, but this is rather bizarre messaging.

She unlocked airbending in a time of desperation, and used it aggressively to get rid of the threat. Like...okay. But, we didn’t need to see an entire season to buy this kind of thing happening. Hell, if she had been de-bended in 1x04 and someone else was threatened, I could still see this happening.

Was the implication that it’s the power of love? Had it been Bolin or Tenzin there, just sucks for them? I kind of find that hard to swallow, too. Really, they just needed Amon to be unmasked, and this is the way they contrived Korra to do it. It wasn’t exactly a huge character moment as much as it was leveling up in a video game.

Now, I do think overall it’s good that Korra didn’t find a place for herself in the world at the end of the first season. That was hard-earned, and even creating the new spiritual age wasn’t the endpoint of that theme since people were resistant to change—of losing control. However, could there have at least been an indication that REFORM WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? Yeah, the revolutionaries aren’t exactly blameless here seeing as they bombed an entire city, but Endgame literally reset the tensions in Republic City. Well, until Shiro recapped the creation of an entire democracy for us in 2 sentences.

It was like...the set box that Bryke had created at the beginning of the season needed to stay perfectly intact. And it wasn’t organic at all for Korra to be the person upholding that, because she is inherently such a transgressive character. This is why I’ve called it a round peg in a square hole, and this is why had *that* been the ending to the series, my own reaction would have been as dejected as the people who realized Amon painted a scar on his face.

Hell, what does this even mean on a thematic level? Desperation breeds education? Never idolize anyone who promises simple solutions to your problems? Reincarnation has its uses if you’re in enough pain?

Really, this show is supposed to be about Korra’s growth and trajectory, and...I just am struggling to see much of anything here.

Frankly, it gets worse the longer I think about it too. Equalists are like, bad and junk. Bombing cities and brutalizing your enemies (while evoking genocidal language with that whole ‘impurity’ thing) is not good, mmkay? But from another entirely valid angle, isn’t part of what Amon stood for really about disarmament? Should they have been so cartoonishly evhul that they suddenly needed to de-bend the pacifistic airbender children?

The only thing that kind of worked in this plotline was Asami and Hiroshi. And yeah, I know I’m the ultimate Asami fangirl so it’s going to read biased, but I’m serious: she was the only nonbender we really heard from about this. She was the one who had the same pain that her father had (her mother’s death at the hands of bending gangs), and experienced the same type of oppression he did, and still resoundly rejected violence. I’m not sure what she saw as a pathway to reform, but she could tell that Hiroshi’s actions weren’t coming from a place of empathy any longer, even if it might have begun like that.

Rewatching everything today when nazi punching discourse is disturbingly not theoretical, there is something a little frustrating about how simplified even this conflict was made. I’m not saying the Equalists are fascists at all, but can we at least try and position ourselves in the nonbender perspective, when there’s a lot of valid grievances, and Amon is just doing exactly what Aang did to Yakone (initially, back when he was targeting just triad members)? That’s worth a conversation! Sure, we got Asami standing up to Tarrlok in 1x08, sure, but her drive to take down her father was so clearly personal thanks to the years of deception, that the nonbender oppression sort of got swallowed in it all.

I still think it worked better than anything else, especially how Asami was not able to bring herself to harm her father the way he was willing to do. It’s tragic, and I don’t even begrudge Bolin swooping in for the save for that reason, even though the whole passive-woman/active-man thing is what I’m bitching about for Korra. But it’s different. Right?

I also found Tarrlok and Amon’s ending perfectly fine (and VERY jarring for a Y7 show) given that it was another exploration into abuse, the cycle of violence, and a kind of poetic self-fulfilling prophecy. But that’s more for 1x11.

God, you know what it is? Bryke never figured out what they wanted to say with Book 1. They had great worldbuilding ideas, and the tensions set up were quite compelling. It just lacked a *point* beyond “this might be cool to explore.” It was, and then the time came to tie it up, so it splatted.

In the end, they’re just damn lucky that Korra had something to say of her own.

Book 2 ranking/essays found here

Book 4 ranking/essays found here

[janiedean]

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so...

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the 'ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.

There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.

It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like... tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.

They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that... except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is... like... guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like... no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and... killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like... I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like... I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just... nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like... haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)