#why there's so much misunderstanding between them

[givehimthemedicine]

what happened to El and Max's friendship between 3 and 4?

st3 is an elmax extravaganza and then suddenly in st4, there's no mention of whether they're even in contact. what are we supposed to think was going on with them?

the obvious is that Max has withdrawn from everybody in her depression, and that she and El aren't talking much anymore. but there's a LOT more to it!

let's break down the breakdown of elmax.

it's not just Max. I'm sensing misunderstandings resulting in withdrawal from both sides.

if you just clutched your elmaxer pearls and said no, El would never leave Max hanging, she loves her so much! she's the most important thing to her!, you gotta return to the source material. you can maybe claim that at the very end of 4, but not between seasons.

remember: the only elmax bonding screentime we've ever logged is during times El is broken up with Mike.

remember how El treated Max before, and why

in the only direct El/Max st2 interactions, not only did El treat Max like shit, but it was specifically because of El's misunderstanding (jealousy) about Mike.

Mike is El's only goal in ever approaching Max at all - not to apologize, or because she wants to get to know Max. it's only a happy surprise (thanks to lots of grace on Max's part) that this becomes the most edifying friendship of El's life.

I'm not suggesting El goes back to being an asshole to Max when she gets back with Mike, but you can see the romantic tunnel vision already setting in before st3 is over. it's unrealistic to think she stays MallRats-tight with Max while mileven is back on. of course, they are still friends. of course they're gonna stay in touch.

1: El and Max part on great terms, and are probably in regular contact at first. they're truthful with each other - but not fully.

st3 wraps with a huge mileven goodbye scene including a kiss, declaration of love, plans to visit, vows to stay in frequent contact... while El and Max are only part of a montage of quick hugs with no dialogue.

El and Max must also exchange goodbyes, but what happens onscreen vs. off is a Choice. and this pushes the idea of mileven communication very hard and El-Max not much.

I think El is always in more contact with Mike than Max, but that's unlikely to bother Max, since she has her own relationship to attend to.

they leave out the parts that are hardest to talk about.

we know El hid the bullying from Mike the whole time, but her letter speaks of change, making clear that she hasn't been claiming to be doing great in Lenora since day 1: "You were right. It just takes time. I think I have finally adapted. At first, I missed all the spring flowers, but now I find it pretty here too. I even like school now."

so at the beginning, evidently she was open about struggles like hating school and being homesick for Hawkins - definitely omitting things, but not actively lying.

I expect this is the way she communicated with Max as well. no lies, but no soul-baring either.

Max is known to be telling incomplete truths as well this season.

she reads things in her letter to Billy that she hasn't told anyone else, and Vecna-Billy says that her letter wasn't the full truth. nothing she said was a lie, but she left out parts that cast her in a bad light. Max later verifies that he was "just telling the truth."

there's definitely no point when El and Max are telling each other everything.

2: as her depression deepens, Max gives up on faking happiness, and starts isolating. she reaches out to El less often.

at some point Max breaks up with Lucas and withdraws socially. it's possible El remains the friend Max is best able to communicate with, since she doesn't have to do it face-to-face, but she probably initiates less.

3: El mistakes Max's depression for disinterest, and doesn't reach out more to bridge the gap.

Max has clearly not confided in El about the Billy stuff or her depression. so when her communication starts to grow less enthusiastic, less frequent... what is El to think except that Max is getting less interested in staying friends?

El is always the receiver

look, here's the thing... she's virtually always shown to be the receiver of contact from her loved ones. and it's always been VERY important to her, to the point where she gets upset if they forget / can't. the 1-2 gap is Mike calling El hundreds of times. at the st3 goodbye, it's Mike vowing to call El so much she'll have to turn her walkie off. etc.

while historically, she's been a very uncommunicative person herself. she's not one to volunteer anything, or carry or initiate a conversation. the only time I remember her reaching out to Mike first is to demand why he's slightly late in contacting her.

thus, I see the majority of El's contact with both Mike and Max as her waiting to be contacted by them. this isn't self-centeredness; it's just kinda the only way everyone's always treated El, so.. that's how it works.

so when Max's communication starts dropping off, of course El is sad, but she just doesn't know how to pick up the slack (or doesn't even really think of that as an option).

4: Max mistakes El not bridging the gap as disinterest as well.

haven't we all been there? if you and your friend never talk unless you're the one to reach out, don't you eventually feel like "okay, I see how it is"? especially if you're depressed?

5: El starts faking happiness, writing letters, and actively lying to Mike.

struggling in Lenora with waning support from her best friend, El starts faking happiness. ALL focus is redirected to her boyfriend to provide all sense of happiness and purpose. without superpowers (the reason he likes her, she thinks), she feels she needs to make herself be the perfect girlfriend. she starts lying to him, claiming she's excelling academically and socially.

El even adopts letter writing (which doesn't come naturally to her) as a new mode of communication with Mike The Writer to try to appeal to him more.

6: Max finds out El and Mike are exchanging letters.

we know Mike brings El up a lot, and we know Max still sits with her friends at least sometimes. so it's reasonable to think Mike has mentioned tidbits to Max about El. maybe it starts to hurt that El appears to be able to contact him, but not her. even though Max probably has little energy for social contact, she must still wish El would reach out.

like. for Max, El apparently can't even pick up the phone. meanwhile her willingness to contact Mike appears to be flourishing. he now has letters from her. that's the one mode of communication that proves El is actively communicating, not just passively receiving and "mhm"ing through phonecalls.

byler communication problems parallel elmax communication problems

El and Mike are both prioritizing this misconception of a relationship even though it's not really making them happy. and front row center in the text, is the fact that that's causing a disconnect between Mike and his best friend. might not a similar thing be happening between El and her best friend?

take the byler "what about us" fight and swap Mike for El and Max for Will. it hits some notes irt the communication dynamic, doesn't it?

Max: You're mad that I didn't talk to you? You made it super clear that you're not interested in anything I have to say. El: That's just not true. M: You've called maybe a couple times. It's been a year, El. Meanwhile, Mike has a book of letters from you. El: That's because he's my boyfriend, Max. M: And us? E: We're friends. We're friends. M: We used to be best friends. E: Then maybe you should've reached out more?

7: Max believes the lies in El's letters to Mike. Max thinks El has moved on, and gives up.

since El isn't confiding in her, Max has no idea that all the positive claims in El's letter to Mike are lies.

Max doesn't doubt El's ability to succeed socially; she's always thought El is really cool and capable! it sounds like El has blossomed from her mentorship the past summer and doesn't need Max herself anymore.

as much as this parallels byler, I don't sense bitterness. if she wasn't bitter about how El treated her in st2, she wouldn't be now. I sense a quiet sucks for me but I'm happy for you type disappointment that blends into the numbness.

now with "proof" that she isn't missed, Max probably doesn't contact El at all anymore, and that's pretty much the end of it.

I actually have quite a bit of support for this:

🚩 the girls in the hallway

yeah, duh, this was about El, but I wanna talk about the decision to make this shot be of three girls.

seems like if this was meant to represent Max simply missing El, it would've been two girls, one to represent each of them.

which is exactly what El's corresponding scene does: one girl - a redhead, not-Max - seemingly waves at her, which makes her so happy, until not-Max passes her and connects with another girl, a brunette not-El.

it's over this clip that El reads the lie in her letter to Mike, "I have made lots of friends."

another lie reads, "I am twice as happy now."

Max looking at three brunette not-Els feels like a specific reference to these lies - a belief that El has made new besties (two being twice as many) and is doing fine, better in fact, and not missing or even thinking about Max.

🚩 the letter

Max hands Lucas letters for the others, including El, "if you can ever get ahold of them again". this is referring to the way nobody can get through to the Cali crew, but it hurts me to hear Max use the same language about El as she does her Dad, by whom it's safe to say she feels abandoned.

🚩 the phone

there's this whole 4v2 thing about the inability to reach the Byers. Hawkins gang is literally convinced the world may be ending. they should all be trying to contact the Byers any which way (and I believe they are, but again, what's onscreen is a Choice), but unless I'm forgetting a scene?, we're only ever shown/told about Max trying to make contact.

why always Max, and why always by phone? Mike and El have been keeping in touch via Cerebro. remind me why it isn't an option for Dustin to try to contact Will or El that way?

ST seems to want to take this opportunity to push really hard on the repetition of Max calling but getting a busy signal.

kinda like... reaching out to El, and getting the impression that El is too busy for her.

and hey look, "I am so busy" is something El told Mike in the letter.

is El literally not returning Max's phonecalls?? highly doubtful. you gotta remember it doesn't work like today, where you can call your friend, get no answer, and decline to leave a voicemail, figuring "eh, they'll see that I called." on '86 landline, if you call and nobody picks up, and they don't own an answering machine (or you choose not to leave a message), they don't even know that you called. so it wouldn't be that El is ignoring Max's calls; it'd be that El has no idea Max called.

I don't think this is exclusively about literal telephone calls though. just the general analogy of Max always being the one to reach out and El not even always realizing it.

Max knows the phone number by heart. she isn't holding a piece of paper to refer to. Steve questioning whether Max typed it in right, and Max sounding annoyed, serves to underline her familiarity with the number. it's highly unlikely she ever called it to chat with Joyce, Will, or Jonathan. she also seems familiar with what amounts of time are and aren't typical for Joyce to keep the line tied up.

this is the best canon evidence that Max and El spoke at some point and that Max was the caller.

again, I understand Max is only textually referring to the current phone issue (during which time El isn't even at the Byers house), and not to all past attempts at friendly chats with El.

but, idk, isn't there this repeated sense of Max reaching out, and it looking to her like El is too busy for her? something about the way she keeps saying the busy signal is "the same" sounds like she's been feeling this way for awhile?

this is the moment we're shown El walking into this scene via the void. illustrating the way El is there for her, emotionally, but that Max doesn't know because she's getting the wrong signals from her.

of course, the Byers' line isn't really busy - government agents are controlling the phone because any contact might cost El her life.

the phone isn't disconnected (the agent orders the pizza with it). and the agents can't be keeping the phone off the hook, otherwise Max would be getting an off-the-hook signal, not a busy signal. (busy sounds like doooot-doooot and off the hook sounds like eh-eh-eh-eh).

point being, the busy signal is a false impression. the agents are jamming the phone. it's not really busy, nor has El really been too busy loving Lenora to miss Max.

of course El, during this actual timeframe, HAS been pretty busy: she's locked in a missile silo learning superpowers, due to to the way her, oh - oh hahah stop - her signals have been scrambled.

are you all seeing this.

blank makes you crazy

the "scrambled signals" stroke analogy about El losing her powers serves just as well as analogy for mileven. after all - both have been in effect since the end of st3.

El's misconceived relationship with Mike has been clouding her judgment/priorities all through the 3-4 gap. her belief that romance is the most important type of love is adversely affecting her relationships with others, giving the impression she doesn't care about them.

Brenner and Mike can be found likening both love, and power loss, to neurological problems.

Mike and El both have this st4 arc where they have to realize that obsessing/forcing their relationship isn't healthy, and instead give their best friendships the attention they deserve.

whereas Mike does it via self reflection and healthy conversation with Will, it takes much more dramatic events to lead El to the equivalent realization about her best friendship with Max. that's not because El is dumber - it's because she doesn't find out there's been a misunderstanding until 4v2.

the minute she gets her powers back, the first person she goes to check on is Max, and that's when she learns how things are really going with her.

it's not til El eavesdrops the phone scene that she realizes how it must feel on Max's end, always being the one reaching out.

it's not until she eavesdrops the attic monologue that she understands Max's silence has been due to suicidal depression, not disinterest. that they have both been struggling but keeping it to themselves.

the prior themes of Max always being the initiator makes it so much more powerful that El shows up for her at the end!

Max isn't just confused because "hey how'd you get in my head" or "hey why are you bald", but because she didn't realize El cared about her anymore.

it means so much that El is 100% the one reaching out to her in this moment. like, it's not just cool that El wants to save Max's life from This Season's Thing. but this shows that El first checked on Max, found out something was wrong, and embarked on a mission to help, all of her own initiative - because Max hadn't told her about any of this. this proves to her that El never forgot her or stopped caring.

ST5 ELMAX HEART TO HEART PLEASE I BEG YOU. THE STAGE IS SOOOO SET

[lighthouseas]

alright i rewatched the teaser (slowly this time) and here are some shots that i managed to catch that Intrigued Me and some short ramblings on them (if these have already been discussed please give me a break i just got out of a 1.5 hour class):

dustin's torn hellfire shirt. yeah.

LUMAX. but also idk if the time on lucas's watch actually means anything relevant?? so i screenshotted it. for funsies

JOPPER WITH THE FUCKING CLOCK BETWEEN THEM. OKAY.

yeha idk just about everything with this scene made me insane. also dustin being the last one to put his hand in is...interesting. is he feeling separated from the party this season? probably, because he always is. that will be an interesting thing to explore. also look at mike's little FACEEEEEEE .

adding onto the previous shot. yeah. YEAH. also i know mike and will's hands aren't technically on top of each other but the way they look like they are in this shot...oh i'm sure. also mike's backpack being there too...cinematography oh how i adore you.

OK ACTINGGGG. thank you finn wolfhard for beating the bad actor allegations because THE EYES????????? HELLO???????? and the way that his face looking at el here is so different from how he looks at will. also what is that on his face WHO HURT MY SON. (just kidding i hope he chokes on his own blood) also correct me if im wrong but this looks like it takes place earlier in the season based on the outfits (also if we're assuming that this is a trailer for volume 1 only then...shrug) so. hm. mileven breakup anyone? ok yay!

again adding on to the previous shot with ANOTHER INSANE FUCKING SHOT. the way they form a heart is so Fascinating to me. no i don't think mileven is endgame everyone please shut up forever about that but something something elmike. idk. this scene did not give romantic vibes at all for me. it almost seems like mike is too attached to el again and he's getting worried about her using her powers too much and she's reassuring him???? but who knows. she's obviously going into the void again based on her wetsuit outfit but anyway i'm kind of pissed off now because i know this will be the only thing I see on my instagram feed for the next 4 months and everyone is going to be fundamentally misunderstanding this shot and being weird about it....anyway. it's fine. whatever. It's Fine. byler endgame forever.

this is mostly just a comment on the insane cinematography here (and the following frame with the lightning). holy fuck. you go baby will you got this buddy! also the parkour moves......okay will has powers REALLLL TO ME!

WHO BEAT HIM UP. WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS AROUND HIS EYES. WHY IS HE SO PALE. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!!!!!

ANOTHER INSANE SHOT. THE LIGHTS???????? HI????????????????????????????? getting big joel and ellie vibes from this

i am about to become the world's most annoying person for the next 4 months. BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. and also as the lovely liza @qulizalfos pointed out.......WHO IS THE GREEN SWEATER??????????????????? oh holly and karen how badly i desire to study you.....

what is robin looking at. yes i know the shot after this was the shadow climbing the radio tower but what if she's looking at something else. like a certain redheaded repressed lesbian who just so happened to not appear in the teaser (or any other teaser for that matter. vickie when i Get You). much to think about. also hi robin i love you robin

HELLOOOOOO LADY MACBETH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another insane extreme close up shot. why is he closing his eyes. why is he wet. why is only one side of his face lit up. what is going on. YAY!

wayli put it the best: i need to buy a gun.

i'm wondering if dustin is hugging steve here because steve is about to do something really dangerous and this is dustin finally breaking down about losing eddie and not wanting another one of his friends to die. also i'd like to reference that line said in s3 again: if you die, i die

haha. ha.

all i have to say about this is OKAY. YAY.

HIIII HOLLY. i do really love the recurring theme here of characters Looking At Things but them never showing us what they are Looking At. also why is holly wearing this red riding hood-esque shawl. much to think about. holly wheeler i am SHAKING YOU!!!!!!!!!! (still so happy that i was right about her playing a larger role this season you guys have no idea)

LUCAS HAS BLOOD ON HIS SHIRT GUYS. MIGHT DIE IDK. WHOSE BLOOD IS THAT (i asked that multiple times throughout the teaser not gonna lie)

if this is mike you guys will never hear from me again. goodbye. thinking about this forever and ever and ever. i love my gay son

haha. eyes. the eye of vecna. true sight. pretty sure this has all already been said. but. haha. yeah.

(this shot was really quick so i'm sorry for the blurryness)ERICA WITH A SYRINGE????????WHO IS SHE SEDATING???????????????????????????????????

i guess she really can fly huh. mike got at least 1 thing right

he is outside melvald's. that's where joyce works. inch resting.

he is wet. why is he wet.

1/2 of the face is lit up. again.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE LOOKING AT.

i want to give him a big hug and also bake him into a pie but everyone already knew this.

have i mentioned on here how much i have missed mike wheeler.

the juxtaposition of the previous shot + this shot + the "found you" ...........................yeah. okay. okay. mike you're so fucked

anyway yay. and of course you all know how insane i am about mike being the one to narrate the first part of the trailer. actually maybe i haven't made my insanity clear on that but just know i am fucking insane about it. okay. okay.

[nabi-unveiled]

I love that you always help me by pointing out the things I missed. Because let's be real, it has been a LONG time since I watched some of these episodes. My likelihood of missing and/or not remembering things is higher than normal. And with the amount of detail in this show? It's so easy to overlook stuff or focus on a different component.

Plus, while I have a weird amount of knowledge about the symbolic meaning of things like fruit, I would have no idea about things like apricot picking being illegal?!?! Yeah, I can feel a deep dive coming out of that bit of knowledge.

Putting the rest of my responses below the cut.

I have no idea how you got this from the Little Prince quote (I probably need to read the book)

Because I have obsessed over that book a little too much, and I had recently reread it. It's interpretative. Very much deals with themes of what it means to love, figuring out what makes you happy, and even suicide. There's a whole theme in the book about learning what it means to love (a little too late perhaps), what makes a relationship special, and the desire to return to a loved one. Fair warning, it's a beloved classic but a lot of people I know dislike it or find it dull/difficult to understand.

That full passage is from the section with the fox. It says:

"For instance, if you come at four in the afternoon, then I'll begin to be happy by three. The closer it gets to four, the happier I'll feel. By four I'll be all excited and worried; I'll discover what it costs to be happy. But if you come at any old time, I'll never know when I should prepare my heart..."

It's the idea of waiting on your loved one to arrive and having a designated time to meet that I latched on to.

In other fun things, right before that section is a quote that "Language is the source of misunderstandings." And that's definitely what happened with the parting on good terms/choices.

Between "be together until the very end, but suffer" and 'amicable early break up' Myungha used to choose the last one.

That translation/summary makes so much more sense. I had definitely misunderstood how the choices connected to what Senior had said. Whether that was due to the way the subtitles were worded or not, I'll have to think about. I interpreted the "you can stay longer with the one you love" as the regaining 100 days with affection reset to zero as the "clinging on" (to life). Suffering and regretting because you weren't really together even if you had more time technically. With the other option being shorter/end on good terms as they could at least be happy together for the remaining time even if it was shorter. Definite misinterpretation on my part.

That's why Myungha says his confused 'Yeowoon, this is your effort, your achievements (I thought you'd be happy if I brought them to you, I sacrificed myself)'

The only thing my subs say is "These symbolize your hard work." I honestly didn't think much about it. I was too focused on if I would be angry in Yeowoon's position or not 😅. Seriously, there was a whole thought spiral there about would I be upset if I had searched for someone or not. And then I got stuck on when/how did Yeowoon find out he was sick. Assuming he called Sangwon since he got the number, but I had to think through it since we didn't see that phone call. And at the pawn shop, I had got stuck on the clocks. So the meaning behind the medals definitely slipped past me. It definitely adds another layer to that conversation.

funny thing is, big churches like in Seoul usually have huge neon signs. Like NEON RED CROSS. Feels hellish when you walk at night, tbh.

Yeah, I tend to collect neon signs so I notice them. There are a good number of times that they are not narratively important (as seemed to be the case in this show), but it is fun when they do convey a message. They can be overwhelming in real life for sure. Having just been to a dentist office that had them EVERYWHERE, it was very overstimulating having a wall sized smiley face glowing at me. I didn't think much about the church itself. I assumed it was just part of the landscape. I live next to one, and we have a very high density of churches in my area. I probably have dozens of churches closer to me than any grocery store or decent restaurant.

This is actually typical to Korean schools, they have encouraging quotes on the stairs - just wise sayings, or quotes from famous people, etc

It's pretty typical of schools here too to have random sayings and quotes plastered everywhere.

I never noticed any penguins in this show but this is so adorable.

Yeah, I saw that penguin on the cup and my brain latched. That's all I can say.

Offtop to talk about Myungha being forced to choose between Yeowoon and grandma: I wonder what theory you have, why Sunbae made him go through this?

Both of those theories are interesting. If I had to choose at this moment, I'd go with the first one. But that's probably because I already had the idea of the physical things impacting what was happening in the video game world.

Plus, if this entire game is about Myungha choosing happiness. Then, choosing to let grandma die is never going to result in happiness. There would be a lot of guilt with that choice that would end up overshadowing his relationship with Yeowoon. Yeah, if I let my brain go down that road it triggers a lot of "what if I had...." scenarios with my grandfather and his suicide. No joy comes out of those kind of choices or the thoughts that follow afterwards. So I'm (personally) going to go with the first theory for now.

Myungha stops quickly in front of the hospital mirror - and you can't see him. He can't see himself.

I will have to go back and watch for that. It's a great detail. Actually, I'll probably rewatch the whole series fairly soon anyways to see what I notice/catch on the second run.

As always, thanks for the information!! (I have unblocked the tags.)

Catching Up: Love for Love's Sake (Ep 7)

Other Reacts: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6

(As a reminder, I have the tags blocked to try and prevent spoilers.)

So the last episode decided to be RUDE and end on the impossible choice of saving Yeowoon or Grandma. Which left me choosing to forego sleep so I could at least see how that panned out.

But first I had to stretch. And while I stretched and snacked, my mind wandered to my latest fixation -> Moon and Dust and all of the Little Prince references/parallels in it. And that prompted me thinking even more about the Little Prince quote in episode 6.

"If you come at four in the afternoon, I'll begin to be happy by three."

On the surface, it feels very appropriate to the feelings of joy in early dating. But as I have sat here snacking, I'm wondering....is this also predictive? This show is chock full of symbolic details so it just feels like there could be more to the quote.

Could they end up having to wait on each other at some point?

Not sure. I'm still trying to figure out exactly how that would work with my clown car that Myung-ha is in the water in the middle of a suicide attempt.

And I still haven't figured out how they're going to resolve the multiple worlds although I'm confident we're staying here in the end. But in The Little Prince, you could argue that the Little Prince sacrifices his physical body/being in one world so his spirit can rejoin his Rose in the other. Is that what Myung-ha ends up doing? That would support the idea of them being apart for a while. In that scenario, Yeowoon would have to wait on Myungha to return.

Note: It's quite possible that this is transference of my obsession with Moon & Dust and my recent re-read of The Little Prince. That has occupied a huge portion of my brain in recent weeks. I don't want my imp (in Moon & Dust) to die!

So stretch and snack break over, it's time to see how Myungha handles this choice. The timer is ticking.

We're also right back into symbolism. Grandma wants to go pick apricots. Fruits, like flowers, often contain a lot of symbolism.

Apricots have a wild amount of meanings, and they are very culturally specific. Generally positive, but it varies a lot. Also depends on if you are talking about the flower or the fruit. The flower has a ton of meaning in Korea. Like many of the other symbols in this show, they can be associated with resilience and new beginnings (spring). Don't hold me to this, but I think the fruit itself may be associated with longevity and used in medicine in Korea. I'll have to look it up later to confirm. But if that's the case, then it's interesting that Myungha's next line says "They've all fallen off the trees because of the rain." Because that implies time running out without picking the fruit. Similar to the fig tree story in The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, but in this case it's due to outside circumstances rather than indecisiveness.

This conversation between Myungha and his grandmother is simultaneously so sweet and sad.

Grandma knows her grandson. I always admire how BL grandmas give great advice on the spot. My brain wouldn't think of the right thing to say until 10 hours later. For better or worse, my children are very used to me saying "let me think about that".

I still don't have a good theory for who these messages are from. At one point I thought senior, but we get his messages in the "Error Reports". Messages from Myungha himself is still my best bet.

No surprise here. Myungha is now having to make choices. It's the whole reason I'm watching this episode instead of sleeping. 😅

It really is an impossible choice.

We pick up with Yeowoon and Myungha talking about the stalker incident. Yeowoon insists that he can handle his own affairs. It's critical to their relationship that they be on equal ground and care for each other so I love that Yeowoon keeps insisting that Myungha takes him seriously and treats him as an equal. I also love that Yeowoon now has additional people on his side like the company rep. For both of them, their network and support systems have expanded.

But I do not love the closing elevator doors as the choice interface prompts back up. Deleting the changes you made does NOT sound like a positive thing. Myungha isn't going to want things to return to how they were at any previous point really. There are no good previous save files here.

Remember when I said that the frame from the movie theater seemed like a hospital scene? This is it. This is also the reason that I don't trust any of the fluffy moments in this show. This show delights in bringing them back with a dose of pain. Things have went sideways, but we still have Myungha slumped over on a bench with the "coming soon" on the wall to his right. Time keeps ticking down.

Oooh. Interesting. The apricots are back. I really need to look up and confirm what they symbolize. But even without knowing specific meaning, it's telling that Myungha said they had fallen. He wasn't seeing hope or a chance to gather fruit. But Yeowoon still had "hope" of sorts. He was still able to gather fruit. With the dialogue of how he can handle things followed by things like this, I'm really beginning to think Yeowoon and his hope are going to be critical in solving the impending problems. Myungha tends to think more negatively.

We're down to less than a minute. No way that Myungha can choose between them. I'd be disappointed if he did. I really think it's an extra bit of cruel that he can see each of them dead. Like those are not the visions you want in your brain.

"I choose both."

But unfortunately, that's not how most games work. They're programmed. Unlike life, choices are set. Both wasn't an option.

So he incurs the consequence. His time is being deducted. And it's showing him what would've happened in that time? Is that what is occurring? What kind of hellish date montage is this.

From 247 days to 15?!?!

That's one heck of a penalty. But...both Yeowoon and Grandma are alive right? I can't say I'm upset about that part.

But we still have a system error? That can't be good, but the doors are green. Optimizing can be a positive thing. Although it typically means removing unnecessary components or streamlining processes. What's considered unnecessary here? We've already lost days. I'm going to be thinking on that....as I sleep. Sleep is very necessary, and I'm going to rest in the knowledge that both Yeowoon and Grandma are safe.

(Pause)

So I was told in the comments on the last post to make sure I watched episode 7 and 8 together. Between vacation and my big work project, that meant I had to wait almost a month before coming back to this show. I just haven't had a big enough chunk of time.

But here we are, with Myungha now running through the green doors. This hallway isn't pleasant looking though. Are we back in a maze? There is red again. He's in a stairwell with someone approaching. Do we go up or down?

Apparently neither. We're going back through the water. This conversation is interesting. Do you choose to break up and save yourself the pain or stay together longer even if it involves pain?

Country music song entered my head. "I could have missed the pain, but I'd had to miss the dance." And I'll be honest, I'm not going to dwell on this dialogue much at the moment. It would get way too personal too fast. But it doesn't surprise me that Myungha chooses to "break up". We've seen before that he tries to avoid pain. In some ways, he runs from it. He had started running towards Yeowoon instead of running away, but old habits and mindsets are hard to break.

I find it interesting that he's focused on "didn't you say we get to part on good terms?" I like how senior isn't making the choice for Myungha. He's saying things like "is it?" Making sure Myungha thinks about it, but he's not necessarily leading him in a particular direction.

The filming of this scene is fascinating to me. Yes, I will focus on that for now. We're seeing the silhouettes. This is an abstract conversation that's providing the outline. But it's an outline where Myungha can't see all of the details of what that really means. Senior's line "is it?" takes on more meaning in that context. Is that really the best option?

Holy hell. Of course he'll choose to sacrifice himself. I have strong feelings. I'm not sure exactly what they are at the moment. But they are strong. As in I want to smash all the keys on my keyboard level strong. It makes sense that Myungha would choose Yeowoon. He already tried to make a third option, and the game didn't allow it. I'm just going to hope that Yeowoon comes through with his apricots somehow and finds the magic door. He wouldn't want Myungha to sacrifice himself.

Myungha really didn't take a lot of time to make that decision. That one was easy for him.

Yeowoon is happily planning the future, and this feels like a more serious version of the vibe when Myungha and Kyunghoon were talking about college. Myungha knows he doesn't have time.

So you're telling me that the GIF I discounted as a spoiler because it's likely he was going to say "I love you" at some point was made when YEOWOON COULDN'T HEAR IT!!!! 😭😭😭 And Yeowoon has no clue what's going on. I'm having keyboard smashing feelings again.

I do wonder if he'll start to pick up on Myungha's mood though.

Lol. Yeowoon is pouting. "I wanted to be alone with you." Sorry, you're having a party with our friends...complete with the video game music. It feels like a while since we heard that music, but let's be real -> I've spread this watch out over so many months at this point that I have no idea which episode I heard it in last.

The bickering kills me every time though. "That's why Myungha likes me (and not you)."

OMG. Complete with sticking the tongue out! I love this relationship, and the pettiness between them. I'll fully admit that I got in a lot of trouble on more than one occasion when I was younger for sticking my tongue out at people. Is this also when I admit though that I'd have no idea how to grill the meat? It's the reason I've never ordered anything with a tabletop grill at a Korean/Asian restaurant.

While I love that our quad is having another shared meal together, I don't love that this feels like Myungha saying goodbye to them.

LOL. Sangwon stole the lettuce wrap.

Aww. We're at the picture from the intro. But unlike the intro, Myungha is staring at Yeowoon instead of the camera. His face isn't shown. That's interesting.

Cha Yeowoon is getting popular which means Myungha has earned a reward. He can change something. Intriguing. That feels powerful.

Yeowoon is precious, and Myungha has to be having big feels. Because Yeowoon is basically saying bad things always happen to those around him. If Myungha dies, where does that leave Yeowoon. "Good terms" doesn't necessarily mean they're both happy afterwards. Actually, it could mean Yeowoon is still devastated.

"But I only have you. Never leave my side." 😭😭😭

This conversation got deep. Yeowoon doesn't think Myungha likes him, because he still doesn't rely on him. These conversations have to be ripping Myungha apart. The tears in his eyes are going to rip me apart. Yeowoon won't be having an easy time either though. It has to feel like Myungha is putting walls up.

Yeowoon saying "I Love You" triggers another system error. Why? It's possible the system errors are related somehow to Myungha and his emotions. But I'd have to go back and track when each of them happened. It'd work for the two in this episode at least.

This is a great shot. Myungha sitting underneath the label of the high school. Arrows pointing in two opposite directions. One of them with water.

Myungha is granted a magic pen. I thought there may be writing on it, but I can't see it clearly.

Myungha has a fever. Sangwon helps him. Meanwhile, Yeowoon is meeting with the company rep. He agrees to be the brand model. Anyone know what the neon sign in the back says? I'm assuming it's just the name of a place, but neon signs always make me curious. This one has the window bar blocking it though so I can't translate.

Yeowoon is learning that Myungha is playing a role in this agreement. And...that's got to feel in some ways like Myungha going behind his back and not letting him take care of his own business. The business he specifically asked to be allowed to take care of himself.

Yeowoon is going to join a competition on August 14. That definitely seems like it's after Myungha would "die". (Note: I'm not accepting that currently.) Giving the competition a date feels purposeful.

Yeowoon is looking in on Myungha's desk. I'm having flashbacks of episode 1. Where Myungha was looking for Yeowoon initially but Yeowoon wasn't there. That resulted in Myungha running to save Yeowoon. But apparently the reverse isn't happening...yet. Boo. I still think it will at some point. It just makes narrative sense.

Sangwon isn't at school. LOL. Yeowoon still didn't have Sangwon's number. I make no judgment there.

We're running! It did happen. But he didn't find Myungha.

Yeowoon only found bars. He is definitely being kept out of the loop and blocked out of Myungha's decision making. I'm distracted by the fruit tree in the garden.

Myungha is at Yeowoon's? With a gift? After Yeowoon has been searching for him all day and couldn't get a hold of him? I'm not sure that I'd be angry in Yeowoon's position, but it feels like something that a lot of people would be angry about. And Yeowoon is angry.

Oh. I hadn't thought about that implication. That's enough to make Yeowoon angry for sure. Because it's been the one thing he's wanted all along. And for it to seem like Myungha chose Sangwon over him? That's going to hurt.

Why do you always deal with everything on your own?

Yeah. I'm not touching this dialogue right now either. But it's powerful. Emotions are complex. Relationships are complex. There's often layers and multiple things can be true at once. As a side note, I know it's not important, but the neon sign in the back apparently says "mountain church" according to my translation app.

Yeowoon: "I think I'm really unhappy."

Ooof. That was Myungha's mission. That's WHY he made his choice was because it was supposed to mean Yeowoon's happiness. But he had only seen the outline. The silhouette. And Myungha didn't see everything that was within those lines when he made that choice.

There are so many great shots and frames within this show. The way Yeowoon is trapped here while Myungha can't be seen at all as he's behind the wall.

Side note: The heart flower on the gift bag is really cute.

Myungha is back at Sangwon's. We see Myungha get the text about the competition. We've now seen it twice. It's important for some reason. Oh, this was a flashback. He bought him medals.

But I'm more focused on the clocks that all show different times. Same place, but different times. Is this like The Little Prince quote? Hmm. It doesn't look like any of them show 3 or 4. Reinforces my thought that one of them may have to wait on the other. Unless, it's really just time ticking down. But in that case, there would be no need for the multiple clocks. I'll keep thinking on this one.

Myungha is stewing. Yeowoon is stewing.

Myungha is spiraling really. "Who am I to think I could make you happy?" Oh boy. Um. Red alarm. Red alarm. That phrase has all kinds of self-loathing in it.

Days are ticking down. Yeowoon is still running. He's no longer in the blue shoes. He had them on a minute ago as Myungha looked at him through the window, but no longer. No! Yeowoon is crying too. I hate it here.

SENIOR! How is this parting on good terms?!?! HOW?!

Yeowoon specifically asks Myungha to leave him alone and lets go of his hand. "I'm in agony" 😭😭😭

Myungha: "It's my fault." "Let's break up."

I'm weeping. Both of them are hurting so much.

Myungha has a lot on his mind, and his choices aren't easy. But Yeowoon is devastating me in this scene. He's begging to be loved. That was Yeowoon's dream. His drawing. To be loved by the people he loves. And he doesn't think Myungha loves him in the same way. He doesn't feel like he's enough for Myungha. But he's begging Myungha to let him love him anyways.

Ok, his voice breaking and lip quivering may have made me ugly sob. Him promising to not doing anything that Myungha doesn't want. I'm going to have to pause a minute.

(Pause)

Yeowoon saying I love you causes a system error again. Myungha walks away. 😭😭😭

Myungha is devastated too. Really, both of them were in a place where they didn't think they could make the other one happy. But so much of that had to do with the fact that they weren't communicating about the problems. I can't imagine how that conversation could possibly have went from Myungha's perspective. "So...I'm from a different world...." But it is true that he was not trusting Yeowoon.

Time left: 3 days; And a close up of the magic pen that is going to have to be put into use soon.

HOW DO WE RESOLVE THIS? What change could Myungha make that would "fix" things per se? I hesitate asking that, because I'm sure from Myungha's perspective it's something self sacrificial. As grandma said, he doesn't do a good job of thinking about himself.

Pen is opening, and that's an interesting transition.

Similar tone to the shot that stressed me out in episode 6. Reflection shot again. Can't see his feet at all. He's not grounded at the moment.

Will you use the "Original Author's Pen" on the character you chose? I'm confused. I'm assuming that means the pen is senior's. But this means he changes something about a character?

Yeah. The next frame says it's a "characterization" being changed and they'll be charged with your accumulated affection level. This feels like riddles. Because this was the reward. But it's the ability to do it that is the reward. The choice he makes still has a cost, but what exactly would "being charged" mean? Reduced health? The day count is already pretty low. Couldn't he just write down "Make Yeowoon happy"? I mean, I know that undermines the entirety of the show. But....it feels like an option here.

He starts to write "Cha Yeowoon" and then it cuts out and we see him close the pen.

Error/Settings Error. He's back in his room.

😒

I'm having not nice thoughts at the moment. What did our self-sacrificing hero do? I'm guessing that's why we didn't see him finish the sentence. Because writing "Make Yeowoon happy" or similar would not delete Myungha. Unless that was the cost? Hmm.

This feels like it goes back to that line of "Who am I to think I could make him happy?" I again don't know for sure what feeling I am experiencing, but it's one that makes me want to smash my keyboard. I'm probably supposed to feel sad right now, but I want to reach through the screen and wring Myungha's neck. He did something. SOMETHING STUPID AND SELF-SACRIFICING.

The question I guess will come down to...what did he actually write?

I find it interesting that his bowl is still left there. In both this scene and the one with his grandma/Yeowoon, his place setting is still there. So even if he's being deleted himself, the evidence of him existing remains? That feels important. I can't see the full quote on the bowl. It does look like a penguin on the cup. They typically symbolize love and loyalty. Resilience yet again. Actually, it's a really good symbol for Myungha as they also evoke selflessness and they are often associated with parenthood.

Myungha runs out of the room, and we see both globes within the narrow space that's left ajar. The door closes. Interesting. The door has closed on the two worlds?

I would be panicking, but I'm now fully latching on to the symbols. Penguins go on long journeys. They come back. The Little Prince came back. Plus, there's a whole episode left and I know there's at least one gif I haven't seen yet lol. That's cheating. I don't care.

No one can see Myungha. The server is damaged.

He remembers the buff from running into Yeowoon, but Yeowoon isn't answering calls.

Ok. So what did Myungha write? Because if he had wrote something like "make me disappear", it shouldn't be surprising to him that it happened. This feels like the being careful of your words thing all over again.

We're running. Always running in this show. He's trying to run towards Yeowoon. He asks where Yeowoon is. I find it interesting that Yeowoon can hear him even when no one else could.

Uh...........

The world is falling apart. I've ran out of screenshots. For the record, those two sentences are not connected.

The signs on the stairs are interesting. "Stay hungry, stay foolish". "If you can dream it...". Doesn't really matter....the entire floor and walls are cracking.

Myungha said to come to the rooftop. Yeowoon is running.

The sky is ripping itself apart into a night sky. There are no stairs down anymore. Yeowoon trips coming up and is bleeding.

Penguins. It'll be okay. Myungha is a penguin.

But this feels like an apocalypse. 🫣

"Cause of error is being deleted".

Myungha yells Yeowoon's name, but we end up with a splashing sound and Myungha falling while reaching. Presumably, Yeowoon didn't make it in time.

End episode.

Yeah, I can see why you said I need to watch both 7 and 8 together. My heart rate is up and I feel stressed.

WHAT DID HE WRITE?!?!?

[celestial-kestrel]

It's that time of year again where Mari Lwyd starts to be talked about and shared around and an INCREDIBLY misleading post gets shared a lot. As someone who grew up with Mari Lwyd I wanted to clear some things up.

Also hello, if you are unaware who Mari Lwyd is. This is about the Welsh tradition of the horse skull who visits houses during the Christmas to New Years period in Wales asking for alcohol.

First off and probably the most important one:

Mari Lwyd is not a cryptid!

I can not emphasise this enough. She. Is. Not. A. Cryptid. There is no story or mystery about a ghost or zombie horse roaming the Welsh valleys. She's not even supposed to be a ghost or a zombie. It's just a horse skull on a stick with a guy under a sheet. She's a hobbyhorse and a folk character used to tell Welsh stories and keep songs alive. When people spread the misinformation that she's a cryptid, it's the equivalent of saying Kermit the Frog is a cryptid.

She is actually only one character in a wider cast of characters who go door to door or, in more modern times, pub to pub. The cast of characters can change town to town and village to village but there are some common ones I see time and time again. The Leader, the Merryman, The Jester and The Lady are just some I see regularly. Punch and Judy used to be more popular a few years ago but I haven't seen them in a while as their tradition has mostly fallen out of popularity. In most cases, almost the whole cast will be played by men. Even the characters are considered and referred to as female. Though this again depends and varies by which group is partaking in the Mari Lwyd tradition.

This point also goes onto my second point,

Mari Lwyd does not rap.

I think this comes from a very common misunderstanding of what rap is vs spoken word. Rap is a very specific style of music originating from the African American communities of the USA and has it's own structure and motifs unique to it. It's a lot more complex than people give it credit for as a style of music and just flippantly assign anything similar to it as being rap. If someone is talking fast or reciting poetry, it is not rap. Or anything that is an exchange of words between two people is not a rap battle. Mari Lwyd does not do rap, actually something that gets left out of these posts is the fact Mari Lwyd does not even speak. It's actually the Leader, who does all the speaking and song based banter between the house/pub owner for entry. Mari Lwyd just clicks her mouth, bites people and bobs her head around.

I think Mari Lwyd is a really beautiful and unique part of Welsh culture. She's not actually as wildly celebrated as a lot of the posts make her out to be. Actually, I think most Welsh people themselves learn about Mari Lwyd through the internet as well. Her popularity is increasing thanks to the drive of local groups wanting to keep the traditions alive and a renewed desire to document Welsh traditions before they're gone. Which is why it's such a shame that she's turned into something she's not to earn horror points on the internet. I think this is why it bothers me so much to see the misunderstandings of the culture and the folk tradition. Mari Lwyd's origin is very hot debated as well as how long it's been going on for. But I think it's thanks to a lot of traditions like this that the Welsh language and our stories weren't lost forever. Welsh culture is recovering as is the language. But it's still in a very fragile place. I think it's why it's important to document and correct information when it's spread.

Anyway, if you want to see the tradition in action, here's a lovely video from the Cwmafan RFC going to one of the pubs for charity. It includes the song exchange with the pub owner for entry and the whole pub singing and joining in once Mari Lwyd and the rest are inside.

As well with another video from St Fagan's showcasing the more traditional and door to door form with the larger cast.

[bastardlybonkers]

i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one

his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.

ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication

ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.

[bloomseishiro]

THAT’S MY GIRL — ITOSHI RIN

౨ৎ — dating a famous soccer star can be scary, especially with all the crazy fans and online gossip. so you and rin decide to keep your relationship a secret. a misunderstanding occurs when you hang out with your friend (another famous soccer player) and now the internet thinks you’re dating karasu?! 

itoshi rin x fem!reader. fluff, established relationship, secret relationships, pro soccer player!rin, possessive!rin everybody cheers, karasu is one of reader’s besties, reader wears a dress ; i had so much fun writing this i will never shut up about it pls enjoy

word count. 2.2k 

You didn’t intend to keep your relationship with Rin a secret. 

At least, not for this long. 

You thought you would quickly warm up to the idea of being a famous soccer player’s girlfriend, but recent events had you thinking otherwise. Not too long ago, one of Rin’s former Blue Lock contestants revealed that he had a girlfriend, and his fans on the internet completely tore her to shreds. They were mainly complaining about how she broke ‘NagiReo’ apart and how she was heartless for stealing Nagi from his real soulmate. Some even went so far as to threaten her!

You shudder as you recall the social media posts and tabloid titles. 

If the public reacted so badly to that, what’s to say they would welcome you?

So you decide to prolong your secret relationship and, thankfully, Rin doesn’t mind. 

He doesn’t care too much about public opinion. As long as he knows you are happy with him, and you give him the reassurance you know he loves (though he doesn’t want to admit it), he’s content with keeping this between the two of you for a little while longer. 

Still, keeping your relationship a secret from the press also meant you couldn’t go out to dinners together, being forced to order takeout or get food delivered inside. Even going to his games was a rare treat, and even then you had to wear a full disguise and sit in an obscure nosebleed seat. 

It frustrates you, really. Why can’t people just be normal? 

You sigh.

“Are you still moping?” asks Karasu as he returns with your drinks. 

For the past thirty minutes, you’ve been telling your friend, who happens to be another one of Rin’s former Blue Lock acquaintances, about all your secret dating woes. 

You nod, taking a spice of your ice cold water. “Yeah, yeah. No more of me crying over not even being able to eat at a fast food place like this with Rin. Instead, let’s hear all about your most recent failed dating stories.”

“They’re not all fails,” he drawls, shoving a bundle of fries into his mouth. “I might be going on a second date with one of them.”

“And she’s not scared of the backlash?” you ask, a hint of resignation in your voice. 

Karasu shrugs. “Most people just ignore the hate. Those delusional fans aren’t real fans, but at least they make us more money, right? It’s part of the industry. Comes with dating a famous athlete. Don’t take it to heart, Y/N. I’m sure your lover boy Rinnie will shield you from whatever backlash occurs anyway.”

Frowning, you dip a fry into some ketchup over and over.

“You look a little menacing stabbing your ketchup like that,” jests Karasu, putting his arms up in surrender. “It was just a suggestion. You don’t have to reveal anything you don’t want to.”

“But I do want to!” you cry exasperatedly. “I want Rin to be able to hold my hand in public, and make eye contact with me! I don’t want to wear a stupid disguise when I go to his games. I want to kiss him right in front of the paparazzi and then throw my middle finger at their face!” 

“Then do it.” He pauses, a grin forming in his face as the scene plays in his head. “No, wait, for real, do it. Do you know how badass that’d be?”

“No!” You place your head into your hands and pout. “I’m nervous.” 

“Who cares what those less than mediocre losers think anyway?” Karasu scoffs, finishing the rest of his burger. “They’re not significant enough for you to worry about. Just do what you want.” He reaches over to steal some fries off your tray. “I bet Rin would like it if you came to support him during his games. As yourself. And not you with a mustache and clown wig or whatever atrocity it is you put on.”

“I do not wear a clown wig as a disguise,” you say, shooting him a glare. 

“Don’t need a disguise to be one.”

“Okay, our catch up session is over,” you deadpan, grabbing your purse and standing up from the table haughtily. 

Karasu laughs, taking no offense to you leaving. “Can I have the rest of your food?”

“Go ahead, you crow.”

He rolls his eyes but happily takes your leftovers. As you leave, he calls out, “Hey, Y/N.”

You glance back at him. 

“Remember what we talked about. Who gives a fuck what others think? Just do what will make you and Rin happy, okay?”

Reluctantly, you nod, knowing full well he’s right. The main focus on your relationship with Rin should be doing what makes you both happy and fulfilled. The main focus shouldn’t be avoiding the press and his fans. 

Karasu said it best. 

Who gives a fuck? 

“Hey, have you seen what’s trending yet?”

Rin blinks, considering hanging up the phone. Isagi rarely calls him, and it’s even more rare for Rin to actually pick up. So why the hell were the first words out of Isagi’s mouth about what’s trending? Since when did Isagi even care? 

“No. Don’t care. Bye.”

“Wait, wait!” Isagi butts in before Rin can press the red button. “It’s about Karasu and Y/N…dating.”

Rin frowns at the reveal. He knew you were going to get lunch with Karasu yesterday, but there was no way it was a date. He puts Isagi on speaker and opens up Twitter. Of course, the top trending topics are, “karasu’s girlfriend” and “WHO IS SHE?” to name a few. 

At Rin’s silence, Isagi continues, “Not that there’s any way it’s true, of course. She would never cheat on you! And Karasu isn’t that kind of guy, either.”

Rin knows all that. But he doesn’t care. He’s too busy being annoyed that your first introduction to the public is as Karasu’s girlfriend and not Rin’s girl. 

He grits his teeth, seconds away from throwing his phone onto the floor. 

You’re his girlfriend. Not anyone else’s. He didn’t care what the public thought…until it came to something so ridiculously incorrect like this. 

“Rin,” says Isagi. “Everything good?”

“No,” he barks, pinching the bridge of his nose. “But I’ll clear this bullshit up. Bye.”

“Huh? Oh, okay, bye—!”

Rin hangs up and pockets his phone, immediately dropping everything to head over to your place. He has to see you. Now. 

You go through your day blissfully unaware of all the drama going on online (and with your own boyfriend).

You take Karasu’s advice from yesterday to heart. Perhaps you are just too chronically online and need to stop being so worried about the opinions random strangers might have about you.

It’s time for a digital detox.

Earlier, you deleted any and all social media apps off your phone, bar text messages if that even counted, and so far, it feels pretty freeing.

You’re so busy coloring and embroidering—both random hobbies you picked up but never had much time for since you would doom scroll instead—you hardly notice the sound of your door opening.

“Y/N?” inquires a frustrated-looking Rin.

“Rin!” you greet in excitement, dropping your activities and rushing over to give him a big hug. “I didn’t know you were coming over right now! Did I miss your call?”

He shakes his head. “No, I just came over. Are you busy right now?” 

“Never too busy for you,” you say with a cheesy wink.

Rin snorts, ruffling the top of your head. “Good. Let me take you on a date, then. I bought you a new dress to wear, if you want.” 

Your ears perk up at the sound of that. You absolutely love when Rin spoils you with surprise gifts! It also helps that he has a shockingly keen eye for the types of dresses that best suit your figure.

“Let me shower and get ready. Then we can go,” you say as you begin to head over to the bathroom. “What do you have planned for us?”

“Kioicho Fukudaya,” Rin states as if he’s saying something as ordinary and common as McDonald’s and not a two Michelin-starred restaurant. 

Your jaw drops. “How did you get a reservation so last minute?!”

He shrugs, lip quirking upward as you bounce in excitement. “Just made a few calls.”

“Just a few calls?” you repeat sarcastically. As nonchalant as Rin pretends to be, you’re fairly certain he had to fight tooth-and-nail for a table at a place like that. 

The two of you haven’t really gone to public places like restaurants, no matter how exclusive and high-end they were. Even with all the secrecy in the world, it would never be truly private. Paparazzi were still bound to be there lurking.

Realization dawns on you and you blink. “Wait…Won’t people see us together?”

“Possibly.” Rin hesitates for a moment. “Is that okay?” 

You weigh the consequences in your mind but remind yourself what’s really important. You want to let everyone know you’re with Rin. And judging from today, it seems he wants the same.

“I don’t mind,” you promise softly. “I think I’m ready to stop keeping this a secret relationship. But…what brought this on?

Rin’s eyes narrow as he grits out, “Karasu.”

Your head tilts in confusion. “You talked to him too?” 

“What? No.” His brows crinkle together. “I just saw you guys trending online.”

You blink. “Huh?”

He returns your look of equal confusion. “Have you not checked Twitter?”

“No,” you say with a shake of your head. “I deleted all my socials off my phone. Just so I’m not tempted to check it.” 

Rin raises his brow in question. 

“I’m tired of keeping our relationship a secret… I was hoping if I stopped checking the online gossip and what’s trending, I could ignore all the outside noise and just focus on us,” you explain. 

At your words, a smile forms on his face. Not a smirk, or a half-grin, but a full-fledged smile. Just seeing his expression makes you happy. 

This is definitely the right choice, you tell yourself. 

“Well, fans saw you and Karasu getting food together and now the media is calling you ‘Karasu’s girl’,” mutters Rin in annoyance. “Obviously, it’s false. But it still bothers me to see that.” 

You visibly gag at the news. “Ew! What? Karasu and me? Are they blind?!” 

He snorts at your face filled with disgust. “Blind and stupid. I want to show them just how wrong they are.”

It begins to dawn on you why Rin wants to dress you up all nice and take you to a fancy restaurant. You giggle at his possessiveness, finding it rather cute. You know he trusts you fully, but there’s no harm in him wanting to stake his claim. 

“We’ll definitely show them.”

“Get ready then,” he says after planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “I have to freshen up, too. It will be our grand reveal, after all.”

He makes it sound like some sort of mission. You giggle to yourself. 

“Join me in the shower?” you ask with a grin.

“Do you even have to ask?”

After the two of you get yourselves clean and dressed to the nines, Rin pulls you flush against his body as he examines you in the mirror. 

The dress he chose is soft and silky, hugging your curves perfectly. It’s floor-length, but the high slit rises to your upper thigh, exposing just enough skin to leave people curious. 

Rin stands behind you in his dark brown suit, one arm wrapped tightly around your waist as he kisses the side of your neck. 

“You look gorgeous,” he compliments.

“You do too,” you say with a smile. “Very handsome.”

Rin meets your gaze through the mirror and smirks. “I wasn’t planning on doing it this way, but you look too good to let this opportunity go to waste.”

“Opportunity? What do you mean?”

He doesn’t reply, instead taking his phone out his pocket and opening up the camera. Rin points it at the mirror and adjusts his arm so it slightly covers your face. Realizing he’s taking a photo of you two, you smile shyly, pressing yourself closer to his chest. 

“Beautiful as always,” says Rin after he captures the picture. 

“You’re not too bad yourself,” you jest, peeking over at his screen. 

When you see the photo, you almost blush. With the way his hand is gripping your body, and given how close you two are, it seems like you’re intruding on an intimate moment—and you lived it yourself!

You watch as Rin opens a social media app and posts the photo with a simple caption.

@RinItoshi: my girl. get it right.

Once finished, he tosses his phone aside carelessly and looks at you with a smile. “Ready for our date?” 

“Always!”

Placing your hand in his, you excitedly follow him out the door and to his car. The two of you are so happy in your own little bubble, neither one of you notice how the internet is absolutely blowing up over Rin’s reveal of your relationship. 

But that’s okay. You like it better that way. 

@KarasuTabito: DAMN IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

@isagiofficial: congrats you guys! :)  

@iluvrinxoxo: holy shit she’s hot

@iluvrinxoxo: ahahahah rin who???? 

@iluvrinxoxo: changing my username bye

[crustyfloor]

My fragile god, fading fast. - ( english translation free on Patreon🫩)

Rather than sheltered, Mizi's life was surrounded by death and gore; she never got a break from it. When Shine adopted her, it was like a reprieve from all of the horror she's been through because she was loved, she may not have understood them, but she knew how much they cherished her, and it made her happy that she at least didn't feel like she was in immediate danger around them because she was such a beloved pet, as long as this alien loved her, she would be safe and survive.

Still, I think she was haunted by the implication that she was still always in danger, even in Shine's care, she was getting hurt, she was weak (While she was relieved to be with Shine because it didn't feel like she felt safe and cared for in the first place) . The differences and the inherent misunderstanding between Aliens and their "pets" are so key in this one. While Shine did care and genuinely believed they were doing the best for Mizi, they didn't understand her. It doesn't look cruel on the outside, but it's intentionally hidden in the subtlety. Shine is careless, insensitive, and makes mistakes because they don't understand humans; they are treated much like puppies. It's the quiet calmness and detachment and carefreeness, even as Mizi is in pain or crying in front of them, they lack the care of a human, despite trying to take the place of one. She was a pet for them to ogle and coo at until she would be too much to handle- "Raising a child isn't easy, huh. How about you buy her a TV?"

I think, then, Mizi wanted an escape from that place somehow. I think this is how she realized how weak and destructible other humans are on that stage, just like she felt about herself. Aliens are too different and too powerful to empathize and understand her, so she wanted to go to Alien stage to seek out what she was missing, to find some sort of solidarity, or she would die there and be freed

I'm glad this question was somewhat answered, because I've always wondered why it was Mizi's choice to go to Anakt Garden, but I think Mizi wanted to go to Alien stage so badly because she wanted to feel in control of something; she couldn't control losing her "provider", she couldn't control how the aliens perceived her. But she could control this. Because she hated feeling like the fragile one, like she could be "crushed", she wanted to feel like more than a pet; she wanted to be liked, to be understood when she couldn't find it in the aliens, it made her so lonely. So she wanted to be around humans who were also like her, weak, fragile. That explains why she was so drawn to Sua in the first place

Mizi's fascination and adoration of the way Sua is so perfect, so human, like herself, and weak, is fascinating... I especially love this sequence where Mizi is adoring her from bottom to top, not just because it's so tender, but because Mizi truly adores Sua like a god, because Sua is her god, it encapsulates how Mizi is obsessed, how in love with all that Sua is to her, and all the freedom and peace she feels in Sua's love and presence, the escape and guidance Sua was made her godlike to Mizi

In many ways, right now, when she speaks, she's projecting her own feelings of weakness and insecurity onto Sua, who is comparatively weaker and smaller than Mizi.

It comes from a place of wanting control; Sua is so perfect to her because she could be crushed, Mizi could hurt her, and Sua allows her that kind of control. She feeds into Mizi's insecurities and need for autonomy through control. Mizi doesn't mean to hurt Sua, but she is a traumatized person who takes it out on Sua because she knows no better than this; still, they try to understand and console each other despite all of it. (It's so.. ironic. In a way, they end up inevitably perpetuating their own pain and abuse by repeating the behavior and habits that hurt themselves and each other because this environment fosters these interactions; they can't do anything else about it, can't worry about 'healthy love' like this.) --Their love is more profound and unconditional than anything Mizi has ever had before, even with her owner, Shine, who would love her until she was difficult to manage, but not Sua. And Sua loved and trusted her completely, let Mizi have her completely. In many ways, Mizi found someone who wouldn't abandon her, accepted her completely and unconditionally, as flawed as she was, and no matter how many times she did things she wasn't proud of, even hurt Sua, Sua would always accept her, and in turn, Mizi would be a comfort and an escape for Sua too, such unconditional acceptance and love made them soothingly equal and reliant on each other to feed into each others delusions for a safe place just for them in the world (To Mizi, who hated feeling inadequate or weak, this must've been freeing even if Sua couldn't be completely understanding, they had each other in a world where it was one for oneself or you were under a constant threat otherwise)

-- Sua offers herself and never faults Mizi for what she does, or her feelings, no matter how ashamed Mizi is of it, or how her insecurities can manifest in the ugliest of ways because Mizi didn't know how to express herself in the first place. This is how Sua thinks she's fulfilling her desire to protect Mizi's innocence and to keep her safe by reassuring each other that their lives aren't up to the segyein, that they have each other. Mizi felt a sense of control and stability in Sua that she had never had in her life. Mizi's escapism and coping mechanism is finding security in repression, ignorance, or a facade. She couldn't feel at peace even in the safety of her Guardian no matter how "safe" she was, she wasn't understood, but she could feel at peace in the illusion of control and safety, of having someone that she perceived as weak and unable to "crush" and hurt her like so many others in her life could and did.

The psychology behind it is also super fascinating, from somebody so human, Mizi thinks of Sua like how the segyein think of all of them, as aforementioned, she's projecting what she's heard before, Shine calls her adorable even when she's in pain because her clumsiness and the defenselessness she exhibits as a human is funny and endearing to them, the aliens look down on them because humans are fragile. To Mizi, Sua is all (adorable, small, weak, unthreatening). In a situation where they are both two abused children under a similar threat by aliens who control them, Mizi finds security and comfort in the fact that they are both vulnerable, lacking power, and the idea that she has upper hand over Sua in this circumstance is like Mizi is trying to substitute a feeling of powerlessness with taking back a sense of control that she's never had before.

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[freyadragonlord]

Recently I’ve been thinking about the different types of love languages in Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, The S-Classes That I Raised, and Lout of the Count’s Family…

Not to say that each of the stories describes only one single kind of love language; they are, after all, all novels that focus on Found Family, with many different types of relationships between characters that express their love for each other in as many different ways.

Yet, I’ve noticed how at the core of each of these three stories there is one specific act of love that recurs more than others, and that becomes the true Theme each novel revolves around.

In Lout of the Count’s Family, the main love language is providing food and a home.

“Home” is such an important concept in LCF that Cale collects houses like they were pokemon cards. The source of his trauma when he was a child as Kim Roksu was that he was not given sufficient food, and that where he lived was not truly a shelter where he could feel safe, just a place he was trapped in.

And I don’t think there are ever more than 2 chapters in a row without a character offering food to others, or asking if they’re hungry, if they’ve eaten, why haven’t you eaten, here have some apple pie!!

Cale uses his newfound money and power to make sure his loved ones are provided for. That’s how he adopts bonds with most of his new family.

The first thing Raon does after he’s freed from the prison he’s been trapped in all his life, is to leave food for this hopelessly weak human.

Choi Han, who has lived alone in a dangerous forest for decades, would do anything to protect his home.

The Crown Prince, who has been isolated and untrusting of everyone ever since his mother died, makes sure to always have cookies in his bedroom in case guests “break in” for a visit at any time of the day or the night.

I love you, you’ll never be hungry again. I love you, my home is your home.

In The S-Classes That I Raised, the main love language is words.

Yoojin’s powers are literally activated by telling people “I love you”. Because all he ever wanted was to say “I love you” to his brother one last time.

Because the tragedy that starts the story happens because Yoohyun loved and protected his hyung in secret for years. Silence creates misunderstandings, it creates distance, it leads to loss.

Loving someone isn’t enough, tell them! Reassure them. Remember what they say, because their words are important!!

Ever since the regression, Yoojin always let people know when he loves them and appreciates them. “You’re perfect, you’re cute, you’re so talented, you’re so handsome, you are loved.”

And as the novel progresses, whenever Yoojin is in pain, or doesn’t know what to do, he turns to Sung Hyunje because he needs to be reassured, he needs to know he did well, he needs to hear he is still important to the people he loves.

I love you, please know that I love you! I love you, please tell me you love me back.

And finally, in Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, the main love language is time.

Time is one of the greatest sources of horrors in ORV. Eternities upon eternities of suffering, being trapped for ages in the same, hopeless loop, wishing for everything to just stop.

And yet, time is also the greatest gift characters give to each other.

Because the wounds Dokja suffered as a child, and then again and again through his whole life…. They need time to heal. They need so much time. They will probably take forever.

So let them take forever.

Despite how much pain and worry he causes his companions by giving up on himself over and over again, his companions never give up on him. And he doesn’t understand why!! He doesn’t think he’s worth it. But it’s not his choice, it’s theirs. And they will go through as many tries, as much pain, as much time as it takes, before they can finally save him.

I love you, so I will wait fifty years for you. I love you, so I will live through thousands of lifetimes to find you. I love you, so I will read and reread your story for the rest of time, just to keep you alive.

[ahqkas]

♯ WOMANIZER ( you misunderstand the batboys’ intentions about you ! )

— fem!reader, bruce & dick & jason ( separated ), cursing, i believe in the imperfection of dick grayson, based on this req.!!

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

. . . BRUCE WAYNE !

THE PARTY AT WAYNE MANOR WAS ALREADY WELL UNDERWAY, with the gotham’s most privileged citizens mingling in perfect suits and ethereal gowns that sparkled like they held all the stars in the universe. you didn’t really belong here. or at least, that’s what you told yourself as you stood near the edge of the balcony, nursing a glass of champagne and pretending you weren’t keeping an eye on the man who seemed to command attention wherever he went.

bruce wayne. gotham’s billionaire playboy. philanthropist. occasional heartbreaker. you’d known him for a while, though you wouldn’t exactly call yourself friends. he had a knack for being charming in a way that left people breathless, and you? you’d seen through it. or at least, you thought you had.

when he’d started showing interest in you—lingering glances, invitations to these kinds of events that were hosted by him, casual but warm conversation—you’d dismissed it with a wave of your hand and a gentle no, thank you. bruce wayne didn’t date women like you. he charmed them, maybe took them to dinner once or twice and to warm the cold side of his bed, and then moved on to the next glittering distraction. that’s what you’d always assumed about him, and it didn’t help that you were acquainted with one of his exes, a woman who had once rolled her eyes and described him as a man who “likes the chase more than the catch.”

so when bruce’s eyes found yours from across the room tonight, you bristled. it was hard not to notice the way his gaze softened when he looked at you, the way his smile seemed smaller, less performative and more genuine, when it was directed your way. but you couldn’t help but wonder if it was all part of his game. was this just bruce wayne being bruce wayne, setting his sights on some pretty bird for the thrill of it? or was there more to it?

as the night went on, the man found his moment. you were standing near the balcony doors, half-hidden from the crowd, when his smooth voice broke through your thoughts.

“enjoying the party?”

you turned to find him standing a little closer than you’d expected, his hands casually tucked into the pockets of his perfectly tailored suit, the rich fabric complementing his broad shoulders and easy confidence. he looked effortlessly polished, as always, every detail of his appearance considered, from the subtle sheen of his shoes to the faintest trace of cologne that lingered in the space between you. but tonight, there was something different about him, something in his expression that caught you off guard. his stormy blue eyes, always so guarded, seemed uncharacteristically open, revealing an earnestness that made your breath hitch. and there, just beneath the surface, was a vulnerability he didn’t often let slip, like he was holding his heart out to you, unsure if you’d take it or walk away.

“it’s fine,” you replied, the words carrying a certain amount politeness as you swirled the champagne flute in your hand. the golden bubbles rose to the surface, catching the soft glow of the chandelier overhead. you took a measured sip and the crispness of the drink did little to soothe the edge in your tone. “not really my scene, though.”

he chuckled softly. “i had a feeling you might say that.”

“then why invite me?” The question came out sharper than you intended, but you didn’t back down. you’d spent too much time wondering what exactly a man like bruce wayne wanted from you, and tonight you were in no mood to dance around it.

bruce blinked, clearly caught off guard. “i thought—” he hesitated, the usual composure faltering ever so slightly. “i wanted you here.”

“for what?” you pressed, your voice dipping lower, but it carried the sharpness of a blade meant to cut through his carefully built walls. “to add to the collection? to say you’ve charmed another woman into falling for you?”

the words hung between you, heavy and biting, and you could see the faint flicker of hurt that flashed in his eyes before he masked it. still, you didn’t back down. you’d seen this thing before—the effortless charm, the disarming smiles, the way he made women feel special, if only for a moment. you weren’t going to be another one of those fleeting moments, another name whispered in hushed gossip about gotham’s most privileged golden boy. the weight of your words wasn’t just meant to confront him; it was a shield for yourself, a barrier you put up to keep your heart out of reach of someone who could crush it without even meaning to.

but bruce wayne didn’t flinch. instead, he looked at you with an intensity that made your chest tighten.

“that’s not what this is,” he said quietly with his voice steady but threaded with softness. there was no defensiveness in his tone, no quick quip to deflect or charm his way out of the accusation. he didn’t puff up his chest or offer a rehearsed explanation to save his pride. there was no trace of the man who usually walked through conversations with the ease of someone who always knew the right thing to say.

instead, it was just bruce.

you crossed your arms at your chest, your guard still firmly in place. “forgive me if i find that hard to believe. i know your reputation, and i know you don’t exactly have a track record of . . . consistency.”

the man let out a long sigh, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair and glancing away for a moment, as if gathering his thoughts before he let them out for you to hear. when he looked back at you, his expression was different—softer, more vulnerable than you’d ever seen him.

“i know what people think of me. but that’s not who i am with you. you . . . you’re not just some passing interest to me. i don’t know how else to say it, but i care about you. more than i’ve cared about anyone in a long time.”

his words caught you completely off guard, leaving you momentarily speechless. you searched his face for any sign of deceit, any trace of the playboy side of him you’d come to associate with him. but all you saw was sincerity. it terrified you as much as it made your heart ache.

“you don’t have to believe me,” he added, his voice quieter now. “but i’ll prove it to you, if you let me.”

the vulnerability in his eyes was so raw, so uncharacteristic of the man you thought you knew, that you couldn’t help but feel a crack form in the wall you’d built around yourself. maybe he really meant it. maybe this wasn’t just a game to him. you didn’t know what to say, so you didn’t say anything at all. instead, you let your gaze linger on him for a moment longer, trying to piece together the man in front of you with the one you thought you’d figured out. and for the first time, you wondered if maybe—just maybe—you’d been wrong about bruce wayne.

. . . DICK GRAYSON !

DICK GRAYSON WASN’T USED TO BEING MISJUDGED. sure, people sometimes underestimated him—wrote him off as just another pretty face, a charmer with a disarming smile and nothing deeper behind it—but he always found a way to prove them wrong. except when it came to you.

you, with your sharp wit and guarded heart. you’d known him long enough to see past his dazzling exterior, but you also had your assumptions about him, shaped by things you’d heard and what you thought you’d observed. you’d seen him with kory, with barbara, with women who seemed to flock to him effortlessly. to you, he seemed like someone who loved the chase more than the catch, someone who couldn’t sit still long enough to really, truly care. and that’s where the problem began.

it started with a rumor. one of your friends—a casual acquaintance of dick’s—had mentioned his “reputation” in passing, how he’d always been the heartbreaker of gotham’s streets. you’d smiled politely and brushed it off, but on the inside, your walls had risen. and then there were the times you’d seen him turn on the charm with women at galas or events, the way they seemed to melt under his intense gaze. it didn’t help that you were certain he could have anyone he wanted.

when dick started paying more attention to you, your first instinct was suspicion. he’d never been anything but kind, but now, his kindness seemed . . . targeted. personal. he asked about your day, remembered small details you’d mentioned weeks ago, found ways to cross your path more often than felt coincidental. he’d even shown up at your workplace once with a bag of takeout, claiming he was “just in the neighborhood,” though you were sure that wasn’t true. it was flattering and sweet, sure, but it also made you wary. he’d been like this with others before, hadn’t he?

“let me guess,” you said one day, crossing your arms as he caught up with you after a late-night outing with mutual friends. “you’re just doing this for fun, right? another notch on the great dick grayson belt?”

the words stung more than you expected. they slipped out before you could stop them, a mixture of your own insecurities and the walls you’d carefully constructed around your bleeding heart to protect yourself. dick froze mid-step, his easygoing smile faltering for the first time.

“what?”

“you don’t have to play dumb,” you continued, keeping your tone casual, though the tightness in your chest betrayed you. “i’m not one of those girls who’s going to fall for the charming guy.” you gestured vaguely towards him, your hands betraying your nerves as much as your words. “i mean, i’ve seen it all before. the sweet smile, the compliments that sound so personal but somehow aren’t. you’ve got a whole thing, dick. it’s practically a brand.” shifting your weight, your eyes darted away from his for a second before locking back in. “i’ve seen it with kory. with barbara. probably with whoever else came before or after. you walk in, sweep them off their feet with your ‘i’m just a nice guy with perfect hair and a killer backflip’ act, and then . . . i don’t know. you move on. it’s just what you do, isn’t it?”

the words spilled out faster than you could stop them, a mix of defensive sarcasm and the tiniest sliver of insecurity you hated admitting was there. the way his expression shifted, the way his easygoing demeanor cracked, told you you’d struck deeper than you intended—but you couldn’t back down now. not when your heart was hammering against the bones of your ribs, reminding you of all the reasons you’d kept him at arm’s length.

dick blinked, as if you’d just slapped him. for a moment, he didn’t respond, his mouth opening and closing like he couldn’t quite figure out what to say. the hurt in his eyes was almost enough to make you regret your words, but you stood firm, heart pounding.

“i . . . wow,” he finally said, running a hand through his dark locks. the tone of his voice was quieter than you’d ever heard it, stripped of the usual warmth and charm that seemed to come so effortlessly to him. his hand lingered at the back of his neck, fingers pressing into the tension there, like he was trying to ground himself. “that’s what you think of me?” he repeated. his blue eyes, normally so lively and teasing, searched yours for some kind of explanation, some hint that you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. but there was no teasing now, no easy smile to smooth over the rough edges of your words.

for once, dick grayson—always so confident, so sure of himself—seemed completely thrown, like you’d hit a nerve he didn’t even know existed.

in truth, the man was head over heels for you. he didn’t know when it had started exactly—maybe it was the first time he heard your real laugh, or when you’d gone out of your way to help a stranger on the street, or the way you always managed to keep up with his fast-paced banter. all he knew was that you were constantly on his mind, and he was trying everything he could think of to show you how much he cared. but clearly, he’d been going about it the wrong way.

“look, i know what people say about me. i know i’ve made mistakes, and yeah, i’ve had relationships that didn’t work out. but that doesn’t mean i’m—that i’m what you think i am.”

“then what are you, dick?” you challenged, your voice sharp even as doubt began to creep in. “because all i see is a guy who’s used to getting what he wants.”

he let out a breath, shaking his head. “i’m a guy who’s trying to show you that you’re important to me. that i care about you more than i’ve cared about anyone in a long time. but apparently, i’ve done a terrible job of that.”

the raw honesty in his voice caught you off guard. for the first time, you saw past the charm and the confidence to the vulnerability beneath. he wasn’t trying to manipulate you or play games—he was laying himself bare, and it terrified you almost as much as it touched you.

“you could have anyone,” you said quietly, your tone softening despite yourself. “why me?”

dick stepped closer, his hands in his pockets, as if he was trying to give you space while still closing the distance between you. “you challenge me. you make me want to be better. and yeah, maybe i’ve had a past, but none of that matters to me anymore.“

in the silence that followed, you felt your walls begin to crack. maybe he wasn’t perfect. maybe he’d made mistakes. but the sincerity in his eyes was impossible to ignore. he wasn’t just saying what he thought you wanted to hear—he was saying what he needed you to know. you allowed yourself to consider the possibility that he was telling the truth.

. . . JASON TODD !

JASON TODD WASN’T A MAN KNOWN FOR BEING SUBTLE, especially when it came to matters of the heart. his past had been a mess, filled with pain, betrayal, and a long string of failed attempts at normalcy. but despite all the scars, despite the weight of the past, there was something about you that made him want to try, that made him want to be someone better, someone worth your time. yet, every time he tried to get closer to you, it felt like you were slipping farther away, as if you saw him as nothing more than just another guy who wanted a quick fling—someone like the men who had come before him, someone who was only interested in getting into your pants.

it frustrated him to no end.

jason knew he wasn’t perfect. hell, he knew he had a lot of baggage, a lot of things that would make most people run in the opposite direction. but you? you didn’t just run. you were cautious, almost skeptical, like you were holding him at arm’s length, convinced he was just another fool who thought he could charm you with a few clever lines and some smooth moves. the way you looked at him sometimes—it wasn’t with the disgust or anger he used to see when people looked at him, but something close. disappointment, maybe. like he was nothing more than a shadow of someone who could be worthy of your time.

the thing that gnawed at him the most was that you didn’t believe him. you didn’t believe that he was different, that he saw something in you beyond the physical. there were days when you’d look at him, laughing at something he said, a playful smile tugging at your lips, and jason would get this flicker of hope that maybe—just maybe—you could see him the way he saw you. but then there were the other days. days when you’d pull away, your eyes distant, your words clipped, and it would hit him like a ton of bricks. you were still unconvinced.

it didn’t help that you knew his exes, some of the women from his past who had used him or only wanted him for the same thing you feared he wanted from you. and that only made you more guarded, more unwilling to take the chance on him. to you, it was as if he were just another man who came with a history of bad decisions. and to some extent, maybe you were right, but he wasn’t about to let that be the end of the story.

one night, after patrol, jason found himself sitting at your kitchen table. you were cooking ( his favorite ) , focused on your task, and he leaned back in his chair, watching you with a quiet intensity. he couldn’t help but study you—how you moved, how your eyes flickered over the ingredients, how you chewed on your bottom lip when you concentrated. he adored it all. and it pissed him off that he couldn’t just tell you how he felt without the weight of his past overshadowing it all.

“hey,” he finally spoke up, breaking the silence that had been hanging between you. you didn’t look at him right away, too absorbed in what you were doing, but when you did, it was with a look that said you knew exactly what was coming.

“jason,” you sighed, setting the knife down carefully and wiping your hands on the towel. “we’ve been through this.”

his brows furrowed, a frown tugging at the corner of his lips. “been through what?” he asked, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice but failing. “what’s the deal with you?”

you paused, your face softening with an almost sad smile. “what do you mean, what’s the deal with me?” you asked with your voice a mix of amusement and something else—something more guarded. you leaned against the counter, crossing your arms over your chest.

“you act like i’m just another guy you’re trying to keep at arm’s length,” jason said, vulnerable in a way he wasn’t used to. “i get it, alright? i do. i’ve messed up a lot. but i’m not trying to be just some guy who’s after your body. i’m not. i don’t know what else i have to say to make you believe that.”

your eyes softened upon hearing his rant, but there was still hesitation there, that skepticism that had become so familiar in his interactions with you. “jay, you’re a good guy, but . . .” you trailed off, searching for the words. “i’ve seen how things end with people like you. how they use others, and then leave them behind. and i’m not stupid. i can see how you look at me sometimes. it’s the same way you look at everyone else, isn’t it? like they’re just a means to an end.”

jason pushed himself up from his seat, crossing the small space between you in a few long strides. “that’s not how i look at you,” he stood firmly. “i don’t look at you like that at all. yeah, i’ve made mistakes. but i’m not the same guy who was a dickhead in the past, and i’m not the same guy who thought he could just charm his way into getting what he wanted. i care about you.”

you let out a breath, dropping your gaze for a moment, and his heart skipped a beat. there it was—the doubt, the hesitation that had been there for weeks, lingering just beneath the surface. he wasn’t going to let you slip away without trying, not when he knew what he felt. not when it was so clear to him that you were the one person who had somehow gotten through the walls he’d built.

“i’m not asking for anything from you,” he continued, his tone softening as he reached out, gently cupping your cheek with one hand, lifting your face so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “i’m just asking for the chance to show you. i know you don’t trust me yet. i get that. but please, give me a shot. i’m not just gonna walk away. not this time.”

there was a beat of silence between you two, the air thick with everything unsaid. and for a moment, you just stood there, your eyes locked on his, reading him in a way that made his breath catch in his throat. he was giving you everything in that moment, his heart, his truth, all laid bare in front of you. and for the first time, he wasn’t sure if you would walk away.

but then, something in your eyes shifted. a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and you sighed, reaching up to gently take his hand from your cheek.

“okay,” you said softly, voice almost a whisper. “okay, jason. i’ll give you a chance.”

jason’s heart fluttered in his chest, and a grin tugged at his lips as he leaned forward to kiss you. he was a man who had always been wary of letting anyone get close, but when it came to you, he would do anything to prove he wasn’t the same man he once was.

and with that, for the first time in a long while, jason allowed himself to hope.

[rafecameronssl4t]

One Big Misunderstanding || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Summary: Tensions rise when an innocent comment about a missing bracelet sows doubt between you and Rafe, sparking suspicions of infidelity.

Warnings: ANGST GALORE

Word count: 2,711

A/n: inspired by the perfect couple on Netflix 😛

MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)

The sunlight streamed through the grand floor-to-ceiling windows of the drawing room, casting a warm glow on the pristine marble floors. You sat perched on one of the luxurious cream sofas, a curated array of diamond necklaces sprawled elegantly across the glass coffee table before you.

Across from you, Eloise, your private jewellery consultant, adjusted her notepad, a professional yet friendly smile playing on her lips. “Madeline, sweetie, no touching, please,” you gently reminded, catching your daughter’s small hands as they reached out eagerly for the sparkling treasures.

Her curious blue eyes, so much like Rafe’s, widened in innocent protest before she giggled, retreating to your lap with a playful pout. Eloise chuckled softly, waving at Madeline. “Someone has quite the eye for jewels already,” she teased, her gaze fond as Madeline shyly buried her face into the folds of your dress.

You let out a soft laugh, brushing Madeline’s hair back as your fingers glided over the dazzling collection. “I don’t think it’ll be too long before she’ll be in my position,” You softly say. The newest designs shimmered under the light, each more stunning than the last. “They’re all exquisite,” you sighed, lifting a delicate piece encrusted with diamonds.

“But I think I’ll take this one, and…” Your eyes roamed over the display again, settling on another necklace with an intricate design. “This.” “Excellent choices, Mrs. Cameron,” Eloise praised, jotting down notes in her leather-bound book. Her tone brimmed with approval, and her smile didn’t waver as she looked up.

Madeline squirmed in your lap, reaching up to tug at the simple necklace you were already wearing. You adjusted her gently, holding her small hands to keep them still. Eloise glanced up from her notes. “Did you like the bracelet Mr. Cameron gave you?” Her tone was casual, but her words made you pause. “Bracelet?” you echoed, your brow furrowing.

Your voice held a slight edge of confusion as you looked at her. “The gold bangle with the pavé diamonds,” she elaborated, glancing up with a look of delight. “Rafe spent so much time picking it out for you.” Her enthusiasm was almost contagious as she beamed. Your lips parted slightly in surprise, your mind racing.

You had no idea what she was talking about. A heavy silence lingered for a moment, and you felt the weight of Eloise’s expectant gaze. “Oh! The bracelet!” you quickly feigned recognition, a forced smile stretching across your face. “Yes, of course. It’s lovely—he knows me so well.” Your voice sounded light, but your heart sank as the lie left your lips.

Eloise didn’t seem to notice. She rose gracefully, tucking her notebook under her arm. “Well, I’ll be on my way. I’ll see you next month, Mrs. Cameron,” she said cheerfully, giving you a polite nod before heading toward the door. You stayed seated, your posture still and tense as Madeline babbled happily on your lap.

The silence of the room closed in around you once Eloise left, leaving you to wrestle with your thoughts. Rafe had bought you a bracelet? Why hadn’t he given it to you himself? Had he left it somewhere, expecting you to find it? Or had it been an afterthought, something he had no time—or desire—to present personally?

The questions swirled in your mind as you absentmindedly stroked Madeline’s hair, your gaze fixed on the glittering necklaces on the table. As much as you tried to push it aside, the confusion, and a small pang of hurt, lingered.

~

Later that night, you sat before your vanity, the familiar routine of your skincare ritual grounding you in a semblance of normalcy. The soft hum of the bathroom light and the gentle swish of creams and serums felt like a small act of defiance against the questions that kept circling in your mind. The bracelet. Rafe’s strange omission of it.

The way Eloise had mentioned it so casually, as though it was something you should’ve known. You brushed the thoughts aside, telling yourself you were overreacting, but they lingered, gnawing at the edges of your thoughts. The bedroom door creaked open behind you, and without turning, you saw Rafe in the reflection of your mirror.

Still in his suit, looking as polished and untouchable as ever. You didn’t acknowledge him, continuing with your skincare, your movements slow and deliberate. “Busy day?” you asked, your voice flat, more out of routine than affection. His response was distant, lost on you as you remained absorbed in your own thoughts, the quiet hum of your routine enveloping you.

The bracelet. “How was the jewelry showing?” he asked, his voice still detached, but something in his tone caught your attention. You glanced up at him briefly through the mirror. His eyes were on you, studying you with a faint trace of curiosity. “It was good,” you mumbled, your focus wavering again.

Rafe’s brow furrowed as he watched you, sensing the lack of the usual excitement you carried after these showings. His fingers paused at the buttons of his shirt as he tilted his head, his gaze sharpening. “Did you… pick anything you liked?” he asked, his tone slower now, as if he was gauging your mood, sensing something was off.

“Yeah, I did,” you replied, your voice empty, devoid of any real emotion. Before he could continue, you stood up abruptly, tightening the robe around your body more than necessary. The familiar movement felt like a barrier, an armour you could slip into. “I’ll just make myself some tea,” you said, the words sounding rehearsed, like you were already running from the questions.

You didn’t spare him another glance as you walked past him, leaving the room without another word. You descended the stairs mechanically, but instead of following the usual route to the kitchen, your feet took you in the opposite direction, towards Rafe’s office. Your heart pounded as you approached the oak door, glancing over your shoulder to ensure no one was watching.

Slowly, you pushed the door open, the room still and quiet in its untouched state. The room was a sharp contrast to the chaos in your mind. Your eyes darted to his desk, and instinctively, you moved toward it. You knew Rafe kept everything meticulously in order, and his drawers were always locked. But tonight, your curiosity outweighed your caution.

You pulled open the first drawer, then the second. It was the third one that caught your attention. As your fingers sifted through papers, your eyes landed on a familiar logo—the jewelry shop. Your pulse quickened as you pulled it free, finding a receipt tucked between papers. The words on the page seemed to mock you as you read, Rafe Cameron, the date, and the item listed: Nature Bangle, Pavé, priced at $18,000.

A photo of the bracelet accompanied the receipt. The image burned itself into your mind—elegant, delicate, and undeniably expensive. Your breath caught in your throat, and your mind spun. You quickly shoved the receipt back into the drawer, snapping it closed. The weight of what you’d seen was suffocating, the overwhelming question taking shape in your mind.

Was Rafe cheating on you? The thought gnawed at you, its edge cutting deep. You had been with him long enough to believe that something like this wouldn’t happen. But the pieces didn’t fit. Rafe had always been… Rafe. He wasn’t the type to hide things, or at least, you never thought he was.

The doubts began to creep in, unsettling your thoughts, but before they could settle into a clear conclusion, you stood up from the desk and made your way out of the office.

~

The morning sunlight filtered softly through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the living room. You sat on the plush sofa, coffee in hand, its warmth grounding you as you watched Leo and Madeline play on the rug before you. Their laughter filled the room, a soothing balm to the unease still simmering from the night before.

The sound of Rafe’s footsteps descending the staircase pulled your focus, and soon enough, he rounded the corner into the living room, his presence unmistakable in the tailored suit that hugged his frame. Despite the domestic setting, he still exuded the same composed, businesslike energy he carried everywhere.

“Jordan told me your schedule was clear for today,” you remarked, your voice calm but inquisitive as you tracked his movements. “Hm?” Rafe hummed in response, crouching slightly to press a kiss to the top of both Leo’s and Madeline’s heads. The gesture was effortless, automatic, and yet it made your chest tighten—a cruel contradiction to the doubts swirling in your mind.

“I said, Jordan told me your schedule is clear today,” you repeated, watching him carefully as he straightened, his gaze finally meeting yours. A small, almost nonchalant smile tugged at his lips. “Last-minute meeting, that’s all,” he replied smoothly, brushing off the question as if it were of little consequence. His tone was casual, but it didn’t sit right with you.

You cocked an eyebrow, your expression neutral but sharp enough to suggest you weren’t entirely convinced. “I’ll be back before three,” he added quickly, as though the reassurance might settle you. Without waiting for a response, he stepped closer, leaning down to press a kiss against your cheek. The gesture was familiar, practiced, and yet it felt hollow.

You remained still, your eyes fixed straight ahead, your coffee cooling in your hand as his cologne lingered in the air. “Drive safe,” you murmured, your voice even but distant. You didn’t look at him as he pulled away and adjusted his cufflinks. The sound of his footsteps retreated, leaving a subtle void in the room once he was gone.

~

The door to your bedroom creaked open, and Rafe stepped in, his movements deliberate but calm. Your eyes lifted from your phone, following him briefly before drifting back to the glowing screen in your hand. “They’re asleep,” he murmured, his voice soft but tinged with exhaustion. You hummed in acknowledgment, barely lifting your gaze as he moved toward his side of the bed, shrugging off his jacket and placing it neatly on the chair by the window.

Rafe climbed into bed beside you, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight. He leaned back against the headboard, undoing the top few buttons of his shirt and letting out a quiet sigh. The silence between you felt heavy, the kind of quiet that wasn’t comfortable but wasn’t quite confrontational either. You placed your phone down on the nightstand, your fingers brushing its edge before folding neatly in your lap.

The glow of the bedside lamp softened the room, but it did little to ease the tension you felt knotting in your chest. “Are you cheating on me?” The words left your lips before you could stop them, your voice sharp yet trembling, slicing through the quiet. “What?” Rafe’s hand froze, his body stiffening as he turned to look at you, his tone laced with shock and disbelief. His brows furrowed deeply, searching your face for an explanation.

“Are you cheating on me?” you repeated, softer this time, the vulnerability in your voice stark against the tension building in the room. His lips parted, words stuttering for a moment before he finally asked, “What are you talking about?” You sat up straighter, folding your arms as you exhaled shakily. “The bracelet, Rafe.” The words were laced with hurt as your eyes locked onto his, watching the colour drain from his face.

His expression shifted—confusion, then understanding, and finally a look that you couldn’t quite place. Your heart pounded in your chest as your eyes began to water, the emotional floodgates breaking against your will. “Eloise mentioned it. She said you spent so much time picking it out, but I never got it, Rafe,” your voice cracked slightly. “So, where is it? Who is it for?”

Rafe ran a hand down his face, the exhaustion in his eyes now replaced with something akin to guilt—but not the kind you feared. He pushed himself up against the headboard, facing you fully. “It’s not what you think,” he said firmly, his voice low, almost pleading, but it did little to ease the storm brewing inside you. “Then explain,” you demanded, your voice trembling with a potent mix of anger and sorrow.

Tears slipped down your cheeks, hot and relentless, and you swiped at them quickly, unwilling to appear completely undone. But your composure was already fractured, and Rafe could see it in your glistening eyes and the slight quiver of your lip. His silence was unbearable. The hesitation hanging between you wasn’t just a pause—it was an admission, a crack that threatened to shatter everything you’d built together.

It cut deeper than words ever could, leaving a hollow ache in your chest. “Explain,” you repeated, your voice firmer now, laced with urgency. “For the sake of our children, for our marriage, Rafe. Tell me what I’m supposed to believe right now.” He ran a hand over his face, his usual confidence, his composed exterior, seemed to falter under your gaze. For once, Rafe Cameron looked unsteady.

“It wasn’t meant to be like this,” he muttered, his voice low. You blinked, your breath catching. “What wasn’t meant to be like this? Stop talking in circles and just tell me.” Your voice cracked on the last word, and you felt your chest tighten with the weight of your fears. Rafe exhaled sharply, finally looking up at you. His eyes locked onto yours, their usual sharpness softened by something unfamiliar—regret, perhaps.

“The bracelet,” he began, his words slow and deliberate, “was supposed to be a surprise. For you.” Your brows furrowed as you tried to process his words, your heart racing. “What?” He leaned back on the headboard, his hands clasped together. "It’s… for our anniversary. I wanted to give it to you then. I even had it engraved.” His voice wavered, and he shook his head.

“I thought I was doing something thoughtful, but I should’ve just given it to you right away. I didn’t think it would—” He stopped, the weight of your reaction sinking in. You stared at him, your mind reeling. His explanation had knocked the wind out of you, leaving you unsure whether to feel relief or frustration. “You… were planning to give it to me?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes.” He looked at you earnestly, his expression softening. “I didn’t realise it would make you question everything. That’s on me. I’m sorry.” Your tears slowed, but the tension in your chest lingered. “Why didn’t you just tell me that when I asked? Why make me feel like I was losing my mind?” Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Because I thought you’d laugh at me, or brush it off as something meaningless.

You don’t exactly make it easy to do… sentimental gestures.” His voice wasn’t accusatory, but it held a hint of frustration. You exhaled slowly, processing his words. The weight of your accusation settled heavily on your shoulders, mixing shame with residual doubt. “You should’ve told me,” you murmured, your voice soft but firm. “And you should’ve trusted me,” he countered gently, his tone not harsh but pointed.

“We can’t keep doing this—assuming the worst about each other.” You looked away, your throat tight as his words sank in. Perhaps he was right, but the wounds of mistrust weren’t so easily healed. “I just… I don’t want to be a fool,” you admitted, your voice breaking slightly. “Not for you, not for anyone.” Rafe turned his head, his hand reaching over before settling on your knee. “You’re not a fool,” he said quietly, his voice steady.

“You’re my wife. And I know I don’t always get it right, but I need you to believe that I’m trying.” You met his gaze, searching for any flicker of insincerity but finding none. His blue eyes held yours, unwavering, and for the first time that night, you felt the tension in your chest begin to ease. “I’ll believe it,” you whispered, the words tentative but genuine.

"But you have to meet me halfway, Rafe. No more secrets. No more hesitation.” He nodded, his grip on your knees tightening briefly in silent agreement. “Deal.”

[bennetsbonnet]

I've seen it posited that Mr Darcy didn't actually mean to be cruel to Elizabeth with the comment he made about her at the Meryton assembly. That Darcy just didn't like dancing that much and a lady would have to really be something for him to overcome his discomfort in social situations and dance with her. And you know, Elizabeth wasn't as good-looking as Jane and improved upon acquaintance, so that explains why she couldn't 'tempt him.'

People really tie themselves into knots trying to defend him or go on quests to find hidden meanings in his words that simply aren't there. They convince themselves that he didn't mean for her to hear, or that he just misspoke... but really it was all a big misunderstanding! He's just a sweet shy boy with social anxiety who made a little social oopsie...

That's very nice and all, but that's demonstrably not the character that Jane Austen wrote. In the novel, Darcy's intention is unequivocal. I think that a lot of the misinterpretation stems from adaptations... because each one I've watched has never quite got it spot on.

I am b e g g i n g for just one book-accurate depiction of the insult Mr Darcy very deliberately aims towards Elizabeth at the Meryton assembly because I think the consistent misrepresentation of this single moment has caused so much misunderstanding of Mr Darcy's character. The interaction is so important for grasping his motivation and character at the beginning of the novel.

It's absolutely vital to the story to grasp that Elizabeth doesn't inadvertently overhear his insult. She isn't looking for gossip or drama and then overhears this poor, socially awkward 🥺smol bean🥺 who chooses his words poorly and accidentally affronts her.

No, Elizabeth is sitting there, minding her business... when this rude, conceited and thoroughly unpleasant man insults her in a manner which leaves her under no illusion that he intended for her to hear him:

Elizabeth Bennet had been obliged, by the scarcity of gentlemen, to sit down for two dances; and during part of that time, Mr. Darcy had been standing near enough for her to hear a conversation between him and Mr Bingley... ... 'You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room,' said Mr Darcy, looking at the eldest Miss Bennet. 'Oh! She is the most beautiful creature I ever beheld! But there is one of her sisters sitting down just behind you, who is very pretty, and I dare say very agreeable. Do let me ask my partner to introduce you.' 'Which do you mean?' and turning round he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said: 'She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me; I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.'

It could not be more unambiguous that Darcy both knows that Elizabeth can hear him and intends for her to know he wouldn't degrade himself by dancing with the likes of her...

AND YET... it is so frequently represented as Elizabeth somehow simultaneously being miles away from Mr Darcy, yet still close enough to hear... but not close enough for him to see her and know she's listening... because he never catches her eye before he says it and that allows the doubt to seep in! It's so frustrating.

Still, even though no adaptation has quite captured Darcy's unambiguous intent and featured him looking at her, his words are more than bad enough to make you dislike him! I don't think you could reasonably ever defend them, unless you secretly hate Elizabeth Bennet... but more than what he says, it's the manner in which he delivers him, the way Darcy deliberately makes sure she has heard him that is so callous. If that aspect is missing it makes Elizabeth's prejudice against him less comprehensible and leads to a man who absolutely does not deserve to be defended being excused for his awful behaviour...

[binmeister]

Hello my friend! I have a good funny story request idea that you may like to do! Well I wanted to see you could do a headcanon/ story on the Saja Boys Au x female!reader where they had a small argument with each other then the reader screams out how there aren’t very funny or loving because there either too serious, sad, rude, airhead or nice which shocks the Saja Boys. Then they decide to play a prank on the reader to prove them wrong ( it can be any type of prank from making them food with something their allergic to plus funny ingredients, trying to scare them, flirt with someone, dress up in something silly, pretending to have amnesia and etc). But when their prank is over instead of getting a laugh or apologize; the reader would either get hurt/hospitalized (physically or emotionally), angry, cry, annoyed and even threaten to leave them ( is also joking as well) which causes them to feel guilty, like a jerk or beg for forgiveness?!!~ (It’s up to you whether or not they forgive them or not!)🤭😅❤️‍🔥😈✨

Pranks gone wrong and some misunderstandings

Saja boys x Reader (Separate)

Thank you for the prompt! I’m not doing anything that severely harms the reader or hurts them because I personally hate ‘pranks’ that go too far like that, but I tried to keep things in that kind of tone where the guys have redemption because they do mean well - may have strayed a lot from the prompt but I hope these are okay 😅

CW: Established relationships, mentions of crying in some prompts, includes the coriander / cilantro soap gene in Mystery’s prompt but you can swap that out for a different gene - mostly gender neutral but for any mentions of she/her you’re welcome to swap it out with preferred pronoun

Not proof read! Sorry for mistakes a lot of word vomit.

Jinu

Jinu was funny, a bit of a quirky and dorky kinda guy but he could be funny when he wanted to be and he liked to think it was something he could be proud of

His singing talent? A little iffy after everything that happened but his humour that he found again while hanging out with you? Yeah. He’s a funny guy

But the insecurities leaked out when both Abs & Romance said that he was kinda unfunny, you teased him with the duo in agreement and normally he can brush it off - roll his eyes and say ‘uh huh, totally’ because he knows you find him funny - its just this time it clung to him and made him self conscious on if you really did find him funny or not or if you just found him funny in the ‘you’re my boyfriend, of course i think you’re funny’

Was he too plain? Did he seem too stiff or was he acting too nice or something? It lead him to message Rumi to ask her if she thought he was funny and obviously - she thought he wasn’t because why would she think he’s funny? She thinks he’s an annoying little brat and he asks her for ideas to make you laugh

Platonic RuJinu for this! misunderstandings are so goofy sometimes

Jinu huffed, eyebrows furrowed as he responded back to Rumi with a little too much venom in his words as he tried to ask her for her honest opinion and didn’t particularly like her answer. Of course he’s funny! You were seated to the left of him on the couch as he continued furiously tapping away, his focus solely on his phone and you felt a twinge of jealousy. Who got him so worked up? He paused and then laughed a little at something Rumi had sent and visibly eased up. That isn’t what you want to see. He’s now laughing and smiling at his phone while you’re literally right next to him. You tried to peer over his shoulder and Jinu had instinctively shifted away, spooked by your sudden appearance and that set alarm bells of in your head.

Now he’s hiding his phone from you? You looked up at him and he saw the flash of hurt and panic in your eyes and he was confused at first, what’s the issue? Then he realised he had shifted away from you while you were trying to look at his phone, something that was normal between you two as you normally scrolled through each other’s feeds to see what memes or goofy clips you could laugh at together. Before you could stand up and walk away from him he grabbed your wrist, pulling you back down onto the couch beside him and shifted to hold your waist so you couldn’t get away despite your attempt to wriggle out of his grasp.

“Woah hey, hey let me explain-” He started out as you elbowed his side in your attempt to escape, he let out a grunt before pulling you even tighter into him. “Rude! You’re stuck in jail now missy.” He huffed out as he pulled you flush against his chest and onto his lap now, glaring at you slightly for the unnecessary blow you dealt him in.

“No it’s fine you can keep texting your girlfriend.” You grumbled out as you tried again to wriggle away and he rolled his eyes, unlocking his phone on the spot and holding it directly where your line of vision was so you could read the text chain for yourself. He was not going to let you walk away all annoyed and mad at him over a misunderstanding.

 J: I’m funny right?

 R: As funny as a pre-schooler

 J: ...rude.  R: But it’s true (˶ᐢ ᵕ ᐢ˶)

 R: Why’re you bothering me  J: I wanna make [Name] laugh  R: Your face probably already does that enough (˶ᐢ ᵕ ᐢ˶)♡

 J: That’d be yours.

 R: She probably thinks you’re funny enough as is, she’s literally your girlfriend?

 R: Idk why though... you’re so blegh

 J: She thinks I’m great.

 R: Suuuuuuure buddy

 R: She could do so much better

 R: Tell her when she’s sick of you I’ll be there for her (˶ᐢ ᵕ ᐢ˶)♡♡

 J: ?????

You couldn’t help the snort that escaped you as you tried not to laugh at Rumi’s blatant insults and jabbing at Jinu, understanding now why Jinu had laughed - rather than out of joy it was out of annoyance cause woooow she totally got him good. He rolled his eyes at you as you calmed down finally, relaxing into his hold as you both watched Rumi’s chat bubble typing away.

 R: [Name] if you’re reading this - I’ll treat you better than he ever could! I know your shoe size unlike this guy ♡

You burst into a fit of laughter at that, she had you there because it was true. Jinu struggled to remember all the different measurements of the people around him - having to keep track of his own as well as the boys; you didn’t expect him to know your measurements even remotely but he’s done a pretty decent job without the exact details.

 J (Name): I might take you up on that offer pookie ♡ - [N]

 R: I KNEW YOU LOVED ME MORE !

“Woooow.” You heard Jinu say he watched your tiny exchange with Rumi, offended that you would pick her over him. He’s literally your boyfriend! He eased up into the couch and let his hold on you loosen up as you looked up at him innocently, both of you letting your burst of jealousy pass now that it was cleared up that it was definitely a misunderstanding. 

“I love you..?” You said, cheeky smile on your face as you said it in a more playful manner than intended as he stared at you blankly before he leant in and pecked your forehead. “...love you too.”

Abs / Abby

He’s goofy, laughs at his own jokes a little too hard but there’s something infectious about his laugh that just makes you start laughing too

Sometimes jokes go over his head but when you explain them to him, he gets it and starts laughing so hard it sounds like he might throw up

He didn’t really care for pranks, he didn’t see why people were so adamant it’s funny to make your partner cry or get upset cause yeah you’re kinda cute when you get annoyed at him but what if he made you cry? He’d feel so bad if he did that

Then there was a day the group was hanging out, you were lounged with him and tucked snuggly into his side as you drew patterns into his side and he occasionally let out a chuckle at the ticklish sensation when he heard Baby call out

“Dude.. did you know you’re kinda a meat head?” He was nonchalant as he randomly insulted Abby and you protested at the rude comment, rejecting the connotation and it made Abby think for a bit

...was he really that stupid? Did everyone think he was dumb? ...did you think he was dumb too? He’s not outwardly the smartest guy ever but he likes to think he was witty and sharp enough that it wasn’t a concern, it’s just sometimes tone in conversations fall flat on his ears - sarcasm is hard to read !

Which lead to this moment, Abby had a pair of fake glasses on as he stood at the kitchen counter across from you and was currently explaining- no. Mansplaining to you about why men were strong and all this bullshit about being a true Alpha and all that garbage. Whatever he dug up on twitter was grating your nerves and you were about to strangle him out if he continued on any longer - it’s been an hour and a half! How can he still blabber on about something he’s never shown interest in before.

“Abby.” You finally shut him up, he froze at your tone and it dawned on him how frustrated you actually are. Despite his size it looked like he shrunk in on himself, as he quietened down to hear what you had to say and his train of his thought was completely caught off - those Alpha podcasts said that this was what human women were into! He swears! He heard them say it.

“I love you dearly,” You began and he smiled a little at that and almost straightened back up until you continued on, “If you say one more word, in regards to whatever the hell this is that you’re spouting at me. We are done.“

His expression froze as he stared at you with wide eyes - was this a break up? Are you breaking up with him because he tried to become smart? Or did he search up all the wrong things and fumble everything. He was panicking and it showed as he instinctively reached across the counter to grab you hands as he fumbled with his words to explain himself, he didn’t actually mean the words he was saying honestly he didn’t even know what half of the stuff being said on the podcast meant and the guy sounded so confident so Abby earnestly thought that it had to be legit! He’s a demon who isn’t used to modern day women and societal norms so the internet was his only option to get information truly.

“I didn’t- I mean I don’t really.. y’know I.” He was tripping over himself, too many thoughts in his head at once and all from his own panic as he tried to rationalise how to explain to you that this wasn’t actually what he thought it was just something he assumed you might like. “I thought you’d like me better if I said stuff like this.. cause I’m a meat head...”

His last few words were a little softer as he admitted what caused him to go on this tirade and you felt bad for him, it wasn’t really his fault that he didn’t understand why those talking points were blatantly disrespectful and you knew for a fact that he could never fathom actually believing in that kind of thing. If he thought anyone was better than anyone else, it’d be from his self confidence in knowing he’s got a great physique and athletic capabilities but he’s always been willing to admit when he couldn’t do something or felt like he wasn’t enough.

“Hey.. I know you don’t think those things and you’re not a meat head.” You shifted your hands to rest on top of his and you could see him visibly relax at that, cheeks dusting a light pink and glowing a little from how dumb and embarrassed he felt right now that he just wasted an hour of your time. “Where’d you even come across this stuff anyway?”

He paused. The one that had sent him this information had walked into the kitchen and was absentmindedly raiding for the fridge for any spicy goodies or any snacks he could steal. You caught the way Abby’s eyes glanced at Baby and you had to stop yourself from body slamming the smaller man.

“Baby.” He turned to look at you, normally bored and smug expression frozen in a mildly alert and panicked one. “We need to talk about something.”

Let’s just say that he hadn’t insulted Abby in a few weeks and was a lot more careful with what he let slip out.

Mystery

A quiet guy, he could take a joke mostly but occasionally would lash out if pushed too far

It was an off-handed comment that didn’t mean much but you had mentioned that you were glad he was calm and easier to handle than the goofier guys - it wasn’t mean to insinuate he wasn’t funny but he took it as an insult unknowingly stewing on it as he thought over ways to ‘prank’ you

Baby and Romance mentioned there were these ‘prank channels’ on youtube and he had watched a couple, the couples in the video always seemed to scream at eachother and then laugh it off so he though the could pull it off as well - bookmarked a video and then proceeded to duplicate the steps in that video

Yeah he can prove he’s goofy and spontaneous !

But he didn’t really understand that the videos weren’t real and were usually staged

“Is this for me?” You questioned, a little awe in your voice as Mystery handed you a plate with a little puff in his chest like he was really proud of what he made for you. It was a simple noodle dish that you’d been craving for a while and this man was sweet enough to learn how to cook it for you... You smiled at him, not second-guessing any ulterior motives and that made him smirk a little. It’s just like the video he watched.

You picked up the fork he had given you and twirled a small rose of noodles onto it, about to lift it to your mouth and go to town when you got a whiff of something that you knew you couldn’t eat. Coriander. You looked up at him, puffing your cheeks out and were a little thrown off about how he decided to throw in coriander into a noodle dish that.. doesn’t require it. He looked a little upset at you for catching onto what he had done and huffed, frustrated that you didn’t necessarily fall for the prank and in turn you got upset at him - he knows you can’t eat it, the dumb gene you complain about frequently enough that makes the stuff taste like soap.

So why’d he do that?

Before you can question him on it he walks away, not wanting to talk to you because now you’ve ruined the prank and it won’t be funny anymore and you’re shocked. He’s upset at you? You huffed as you put away the plate in the fridge, letting it be a free for all for whichever guy came home and was hungry because you sure as hell couldn’t enjoy it with the insane amounts of coriander that had been ground into it. Cut small enough to look like literally any other herb but you knew that smell too well. Jerk.

After that you didn’t talk to each other, from minutes then lead to hours and then even extended to a few days where you weren’t talking at all. No messages. No late night calls. You didn’t even come over to hang out with the other boys because you were so frustrated that Mystery tampered with your food.. It was only this one thing this time but what if you had a more sever allergy? Would he overlook it for some twisted joke? Which only upset you more. Yeah you could’ve just eaten the meal and then told him to correct it for next time.. but you thought he listened and respected you. Did he not?

The overthinking didn’t stop, it got to a point where you were just holed up in your room - hoodie on as you curled into yourself and the tears finally started to come down. You were so annoyed at him, annoyed at yourself for not talking to him, just annoyed at everything. All that frustration over the last few days filled with over thinking and second guessing things made you emotional and you couldn’t stop the tears that kept on flowing. It wasn’t that big of a deal but on a grander scale it really was a big deal because if you can’t trust him with something small could you really trust him with something big?

Your doorbell chimed, you contemplated ignoring it and just crying your eyes out for a few more hours but you went against that thought. Sleeves rubbing your eyes and wiping off the tear stains on your cheeks as you got up and headed over to the door, not bothering to check who it could be because there were very few people who could turn up like this. And of course it was the one you secretly wanted to see the most.

Mystery stood there, his posture less confident than usual as his mouth opened and closed trying to formulate the sentences that he had been practicing at home with the other guys as they walked him through why it’s not a good idea to mess with somebody’s food. He couldn’t get a word out before you reached for him, arms lifted up and he obediently stepped into the foyer with you and wrapped his arms around you - head rested against yours as you sniffle and let the tears fall again.

“That wasn’t nice..” You mumbled into his shirt and he only nodded in response, he honestly expected worse but if you were this nice about it... maybe he could make up for it? He shut your front door behind him, attempting to waddle you both to your room so you could be more comfortable rather than standing in the foyer for whoever knows how long. Soon enough you were situated back on your bed, him sitting up resting against the headboard as he let you curl into his side - his fingers drawing small circles on your back as he let you decide if you wanted to be closer or not - which you opted to do. Shuffling closer and slowly wrapping an arm around his waist as you laid your head on his chest. It was quiet, peaceful like it usually is.

You dozed off, the fatigue from crying and being frustrated for days on end getting to you and the soothing sensation of him continuously drawing patterns on your back lulled you off into a comforting sleep but you caught what he said as you let sleep overcome you... it brought a small smile to your lips as you snuggled closer.

“I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Romance

He knew he was a charming guy, funny? Sometimes. But charming definitely

What he wasn’t expecting was for you to point it out one day while you were hanging out with the guys, Abs had pointed out that Romance was only good at flirting and you had jokingly agreed while laughing - but that joke rubbed him the wrong way

What do you mean you don’t find him funny? You think he’s handsome, charming, the best thing that’s ever happened to you but... you don’t think he’s funny? Hell no he needs to correct that!

All he does is flirt? Pft he can prove you all wrong!

He couldn’t. 

That was a sad pathetic pep talk to himself as he instinctively flirted with the fans that attended the Saja boys fan signing, though he may have been playing it up a bit too much as he was ogled openly by all types of fans that came along. He flirted with the women, the aunties that stopped by, the guys roughly around his age too - he was a simple man! More love to give than he could ever contain within himself. At least that was the persona he put on was.

After the event was over they had returned home and you had sent a text hoping it went well, but he thought it over and decided what he could do to get back at you and the other guys. He wasn’t flirty in his response, didn’t ask how your day was, none of that stuff that he learned from being online or from observing people when they first came to the human world after years of being in the demon realm. Just told you the event went well and that was it, dry.

You blinked at your phone when you saw the dry response from Romance, not particularly something you were used to. He usually had a specific way of texting and this was devoid of any emoticons, emojis, nothing. It made you feel a little uncomfortable and a little upset even. What’s his deal? That continued on for the next couple of hours, you tried to initiate your usual evening conversations and Romance continued to give you dry blunt responses in return. It felt like you were talking to a completely different guy and it started to make you nervous. Is the honey moon phase over? Is this what’s always going to happen now that you were comfortable? He’ll give you crumbs of attention and you just have to savour each piece?

You continued trying that night, trying to get him to talk to you like he usually did and even asking if he had enough energy to talk on the phone. All met with more rejection and more blunt or dry responses. It was like you were message a different Saja boy all together but you knew the other guys relatively well enough to know that they didn’t do that thing, it wasn’t in their books to mess with someone’s phone without saying anything. It was 1am by the time you gave up - each response from Romance had taken longer and longer to get back to you, like he was purposely putting his phone on do not disturb and then remembering half an hour to an hour later that he hadn’t responded. This wasn’t like him and it was genuinely starting to hurt.

You sent one last text - wishing him a goodnight and when you were left on read and no instant reply it made your heart sink. Staring at your ceiling you felt numb now. Your usually doting boyfriend was being so cold to you, you didn’t even care that he flirted with fans! It’s part of the gig and you knew what he did and what his words and actions actually meant when he truly meant what he said. So why was he switching up on you so suddenly? It hurt, it stung. It reminded you of the previous partners you’ve had and the dating horror stories friends had warned you about when their respective exes switched up on them one day and how pathetic it made them feel when they’d keep grovelling for attention. How pathetic it’s making you feel as you anxiously wait for Romance to respond. To say goodnight, tell you he loved you. Call you.

Something.

A few tears leaked out of your eyes and then you felt terrible, it was only one night of being given the cold shoulder and this is where it lead you? Were you too comfortable and safe so now you’re being punished for opening up your heart? You ended up crying yourself to sleep, not remembering when exactly you managed to fall asleep but you did it. Unbeknownst to you Romance was patting himself on the back. He proved it! He isn’t just a flirt and can totally do the cool guy persona. He can’t wait to rub it in your face in the morning that he got you when he checked his phone at the time you usually woke up, he froze.

Where’s his good morning text? He scrolled up the chat log and realised he hadn’t wished you a good night and he frowned at himself, he had to turn off his notifications so he wouldn’t instinctively respond to you every time you sent a message but now he felt bad. He really left you hanging that much in between each reply? Yeah he’s a demon but he knows that a real gentleman doesn’t let someone second-guessing their words. 

 R: Good morning my sweet rose!

 [N]: Hey

 R: I hope you slept well, I’m excited to hear your voice

 [N]: Are you?

 R: Of course I am! I always love to hear your sweet voice

He sent a good morning text to you first, excited to see your reply but wasn’t expecting a simple ‘hey’ in return so after the next messages were exchanged he called you up. He expected your sleepy voice but he didn’t expect to hear you sniffling into the receiver as you picked up, your voice was a little sad and he felt his heart ache a little.

“What’s wrong..?” He asked and you scoffed. Really? He couldn’t tell? Before you could tell him off he excitedly told you what he did yesterday. “I did it! I managed the cool guy thing in our messages, see I’m more than just a flirt.” There was some pride in his voice and some triumph to it too and you felt tears well back up in your eyes as you heard your regular Romance speak to you, like he normally did with that slightly sultry tone and could hear the crinkle in his eyes as he would’ve smiled as he talked.

“You were a jerk.” You responded curtly, a slight edge to your voice as the relief kicked into your body a little. It was just a bit. And not a total shift in personality, thank god.

“..I messed up didn’t I..” Romance said quietly into the phone as he scratched his cheek with his free hand, he definitely owed you a romantic date and he knew it. Your simple hum of agreement reaffirmed that thought and he immediately started going on a tangent about how he’ll make it up to you and that he’s sorry, the little quiet laugh you let out let him know that you weren’t opposed to that either.

Maybe being the ‘flirty one’ wasn’t that bad.

Baby 

Baby doesn’t really exert much energy to talk much when he doesn’t need to, mostly giving one-liners that make you laugh a little too hard because often it’s something unhinged or he points something out that just makes you snort

He doesn’t think he’s the most funny guy ever but you definitely give him an ego boost when you laugh at an off-hand comment he says or when the guys roll their eyes at him

The guys were ragging on him one night - saying that he wasn’t that funny and was an asshole who only knew how to say a mean quip to get some cheap laughs and he was irritated, so what? You liked it so it worked right?

Then he started to think it over.. maybe you were only giving him pity laughs? And that thought in itself pissed him off a bit - he doesn’t want your stupid human pity, he’ll make a different joke and he had the perfect idea

You’re always so forgetful he could probably throw something of yours away and you wouldn’t even notice and then laugh at yourself when you realise what happened - so he did just that

It was just a joke, he didn’t understand why you were staring at him like he killed your family. All he did was throw away some useless piece of jewellery you don’t even wear that often - it was supposed to poke fun at how you always forget about things when you put them down and walk away. How forgetful you are. But you’re not laughing and he doesn’t understand. Why’re you so quiet right now? It should be hilarious - hell he’d laugh too if you threw some useless junk he had out and he didn’t notice for a week.

“Why did you do that..?” Your voice was small as you questioned him, tears welling up in your eyes and he got irritated at that. Why’re you so upset over some dumb piece of metal? 

“Get over yourself, you’re such a crybaby.” He muttered, mouth moving before his mind could catch up and that’s what did it. The tears were falling down your cheeks as your lip quivered, there was such a distinct look of betrayal in your eyes and he was flabbergasted. It was just a joke why’re you crying? He didn’t stop you as you shoved him out of your apartment, you weren’t cursing him out and you didn’t even say goodbye to him as you slammed the door shut in his face. But then he heard the faint sounds of your broken sobs through the door and realised yeah... maybe he was just an asshole. 

He left you alone for a while, thought that maybe giving you a few days would be the right thing to do because if you wanted to talk to him - you’d just message him. You always did. But his phone had no new messages, no missed calls, not even a tag on social media in a meme that reminded you of him. Just radio silence. The other guys knew something was up but didn’t want to push Baby to talk to them, the first time Romance tried to ask if he was alright he snapped at the elder guy that he was fine and things are perfect right now. He was irritated, at you for making him feel confused like this. Yeah he can be an asshole but now you’re being an asshole too by not talking to him about it. 

It’s not like the piece of jewellery would be lost forever, he could just buy you a new one! Then the information was leaked to him from the other guys. Romance had managed to talk to you and was telling Jinu when he overheard where you got that dumb bracelet from. A late gift from an ex-best friend or something, one that had moved away and you were never able to contact again and he was annoyed all over again. You don’t even talk to that person anymore! Why does it matter! He blurted it out and the other two jumped, not realising he had been listening in and then Jinu spelled it out for him.

“It’s the memory associated with it, that’s what matters.” He explained as he looked down with a stern expression, they’re demons and yes their humanity may have been lost to a large extent... but the memories were always something that haunted them. So how could it not effect a human? He reconsidered his frustrations and finally let it go, the next day busying himself with how to make it up to you and he found himself at your doorstep. Knocking softly on the front door and waited for the familiar shuffle of you rushing around and opening the door with a smile. Everything but the last part of the routine was there, you tried to smile at him but it looked like you were still upset so it didn’t reach your eyes and he mentally kicked himself over it.

“Hey-” “I’m sorry.” You couldn’t even greet him before his hand was extended to yours, a small bracelet in his palm that was messy - clearly handmade and not by a professional but it made your lips quirk up in a genuine smile this time. You gently picked it up from his hand and slipped it onto your wrist, the colours were pastel and matched his signature hair colour and a soft baby pink. Not the prettiest thing in the world but there was meaning in it and soon enough Baby found himself wrapped up in your arms, something he hadn’t realised he missed so much in the days without your touch so he graciously accepted the hug and squeezed you lightly in his arms mumbling a complaint into your shoulder about how you can’t just go silent on him out of no where like that again.

Yeah, he may be an asshole but at least you seemed to forgive him for it.

[arminsumi]

. . . 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Suguru Geto (18+)

Suguru tying his hands behind his back because his best friend wants you — and he wouldn't get in the way of Satoru's happiness, would he?

► 'I heard that you fell in love... I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby, snap out of it'

+ warnings: MDNI/18+ content, cheating, smoking, sexual tension, angst

"No, not at all. Don't worry about it." Suguru shook his head in denial.

"You sure? I was under the impression that you wanted her." Satoru said.

"Wow, Satoru, you've known me for how long? And yet still you misunderstand me." he smirked, "I only ever said that she's pretty. That's all."

"Oh!" Satoru blinked, "Okay, good."

"She's probably interested in you — you should go for it." Suguru encouraged.

"Yeah, I think I will. I mean, the worst she could do is say no, right?"

Suguru let out an amused hum, keeping his lips pursed.

As Satoru went over to your table, Suguru watched with a tightening jaw, wishing for the worst — but his wishes fell on deaf ears, he soon realized, as he observed a 'yes' forming on your lips.

... Am I a fool?

Suguru's features twitched in discomfort when he watched you and Satoru hitting it off.

It's fine. I don't like her that much, anyways.

. . . 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝,

and Suguru realized that he was, in fact, a fool. Quite possibly the biggest fool in the world.

Whenever you and Satoru flirted, whenever you kissed, whenever you locked up like lovers so shamelessly and openly in front of him, he felt sick to his stomach — terribly sick. He'd suddenly excuse himself to the bathroom, and tremble over the sink; not quite ready to squeeze the contents out of his stomach, but close to retching.

But weren't you a fool, too?

"Why did you ever think that dating his best friend would bring you closer to him? It's just silly." your friend derided.

"Don't ridicule me. My feelings for Satoru aren't a lie — "

" — yeah right."

" — it's just that I expected them to overpower the feelings I had for Suguru. Can you really blame me? Even you said that Suguru has that something about him."

Yes, that something about Suguru Geto. Many people before you have felt that urge to desperately grab him, sink their claws into him, and never let go. He's never been oblivious to it.

Suguru's so blasé about love. He's the kind of man that doesn't show too much interest — and that's half the fun of it all. There's no pressure; just tie your laces and run after his shadow.

. . . 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐧 𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠,

and by summer the tension between you and him was growing like a little beast in the pit of your bellies.

Stolen glances. Quiet midnight conversations in the dark hallway. Pathetic flirting quickly covered up as a joke. Lingering hugs. Drunk confessions conveniently 'forgotten' the next day. Walking as if in a daze at your side, side-eyeing you kissing his best friend with an unmissable bitterness shaking his eyelashes.

It was only a matter of time until it all became too much. Who remembers who snapped first? Him or you? Of course you can blame it on drunkenness, but isn't that the reason you got drunk with Satoru's best friend in the first place? So that tomorrow, all the kisses could be excused with "I was drunk, it didn't mean anything".

. . . 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬,

it was more than that; you feeling up his chest and nimbly unbuttoning his white shirt, him pushing you up against the wall, not kissing you like a normal person — tasting and relishing your lips and cheeks and neck like some kind of starved animal, Suguru lured you into his cold, dark bed with full intent to devour you.

"Let me take it off for you." Suguru offered, soft voice shaking with this greedy lust that you can't quite explain.

You complied and let him peel your clothes off your body — and though he did it with haste, he savored every moment.

I'm taking what's supposed to be mine.

That's what he thought, and kept repeating to himself in his head as he unzipped his black skinny jeans and hurried out of them, and slid his boxer briefs down, and got inside you like he didn't care about anyone by any name except yours.

Grunting like he needed this for his whole life, Suguru muttered small dirty things against your neck, hiding his face there.

"... you're so tight, are you sure it doesn't hurt?" turned into "... you're taking it so well" turned into "am I better than him? Tell me I'm better than him, please. what do you mean you 'don't know'? Come on, you can lie to Satoru but don't lie to me... I know I can fuck you better than he can." turned into "Cum for me, baby; let me see how pretty you look when you cum all over a big cock" turned into "... why don't you just stay the night?"

. . . 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚,

because Suguru got a taste of what it's like to wake up with you at his side. It was like a picturesque view; you looking messy and splayed out after a long night sprawled out underneath him.

When he felt his heart pang with the anxiety that he'd never be able to have you to himself, that's when he got out of bed and got dressed, leaving you alone in his bed.

It was a bad idea.

Getting a text from Satoru, shaking your upper arm to wake you, panicking but trying to look composed, seeing his hickeys on your neck — Suguru just went silent with guilt.

What have I done.

He sat on the edge of his bed, the early morning sun just barely streaming in through the gap in the curtains, and he watched you get dressed.

"I need a cigarette." he said anxiously, and got up to go have a smoke on the balcony.

You gave him a weary look and watched him leave. Just as you pulled the last bit of your clothes on your body, he lit up and drew in a deep breath and tainted his lungs with dirty tar and carcinogens.

Walking out onto the balcony, hearing the early morning traffic of Tokyo and seeing the dreary grey of cloudy skies, you stood besides Suguru.

Your attention. That's all he ever wanted. Your attention and a lot of it.

"Sorry." he apologized, lowering his cigarette and putting it out. "I know you don't like it when I smoke."

"You're right; I don't." you said, coming in close and pulling him down for a kiss. "But for some reason, it tastes good on your lips."

He looked down at you with full, black eyes.

"I'm not gonna tell Satoru anything about last night. Are you?"

"No, but I'm thinking of breaking up slowly with him."

"Don't do that. Just forget about me. You love him right?"

You looked away to the skyscrapers and refused to meet Suguru's eyes for a while.

"How am I supposed to forget about you?" you chuckled, "Even if I could, you don't really mean that, do you?"

"... No." Suguru hesitantly replied.

He looked at you shiftily, torn between crying and kissing you or both — a million little and big feelings overwhelmed him. He tried to organize them all, or at least as best he could, and waited for a moment of mental clarity to come over him before speaking again.

"Is it my fault, or have you been thinking of breaking it off with him for a while?"

"It's not your fault, Suguru. It's been a long time coming."

"How long?"

"Since it started. But why are you asking me questions that you know the answer to, Suguru?"

He shrugged, "I just needed clarity."

"Well there's your clarity." you sighed, "I'm gonna take a hot shower."

Suguru looked at you, dying for the moment when your eyes met his gaze, but it didn't come; he stood there unsatisfied and frustrated as you went inside without even paying him a glance, his black eyes on your back.

He rubbed his face, sighed hard, and lit up another cigarette and smoked it while listening to the shower run in the background, just pathetically daydreaming of little fantasies of joining you.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

[astrolook]

⏳The ‘Unluckiest’ Aspects: Why Some People Always Struggle (And How to Break the Cycle) ⏳

Note: These are my personal observations over the years. The patterns I’ve seen show up again and again in real life, not just in textbooks. If it resonates, cool. If not, toss it to the stars.

Saturn in 1st - Born serious. Life said “smile later.” Grew up faster than everyone else and now wonders why joy feels like a scam. Inner child needs a hug. Might have been bullied as a kid.

Moon in 12th - You may have grown up suppressing feelings to survive. Emotional isolation follows you, even in crowds. No one knows how you're feeling because you don’t either. Emotional GPS is foggy. Cries alone and doesn’t know why. Dreams are emotional landfills.

Mars square Neptune - You swing between chasing visions and total burnout. Also, your anger either leaks out or vanishes when you need it. You’re passionate but disoriented, craving purpose without a map. Motivation disappears like socks in the dryer.

Saturn in 5th - Creativity feels like pressure instead of pleasure. You might fear being seen as silly, vulnerable, or untalented. Tough dating life or non-existent.

Chiron in 2nd - You link value to productivity, money, or external approval. Financial instability = emotional instability. Feels personally attacked by every bill. Buys love or denies pleasure. Abundance feels suspicious.

Moon square Saturn - Emotional constipation. You learned early to suppress emotional needs for safety. You love was likely earned, rationed, or absent. You judge yourself for feeling “too much” or “too little.”

Pluto in 4th - Your family may have had secrets, trauma, or control issues or felt like a pressure cooker. You are on survival mode. You might fear vulnerability because you equate it with danger.

Neptune in 6th - You could get exploited in your work place or it drained you to the core. Your body responds more to emotions than logic. Reality glitches. Could romanticize suffering as devotion to duty, in some cases.

Mars in 12th - You are your own enemy. Anger goes underground. Blows up once a year, spectacularly. You sabotage your own drive before others can judge it. Your anger turns inward, manifesting in anxiety or illness.

Sun opposite Pluto - You’re constantly torn between control and surrender. Power struggles follow you in both relationships and identity. Transformation comes after a meltdown.

Mercury square Saturn - You words buffer in real life. Your thoughts feel like they need a permission slip. You might struggle to communicate because of early invalidation. You second-guess even your clearest ideas.

Mercury rx in 3rd - You overthink your overthinking, then rewrite it three times. Early school years felt like decoding a foreign language. Words often fail you mid-sentence, especially when they matter.

Mars rx in 1st - You feel guilty for wanting things, even basic ones. Anger simmers silently or explodes after repression. You don’t fight until your identity feels erased. Initiative feels hard when self-worth is in question.

Jupiter rx in 5th/9th - Your beliefs come from within, not institutions. You’ve always questioned the rules, even spiritual ones. Teachers disappointed you, so you became your own. Faith is personal, earned, and ever-shifting.

Uranus rx in 5th/11th - You want to fit in just not like them. Seriously, friendships feel like freedom tests or social experiments. You fear conformity but crave belonging.

Mercury rx square Neptune - Communication feels like trying to text through fog. You say one thing, feel another, and mean a third. Imagination is wild but so is your confusion. People misunderstand you and you misunderstand yourself.

🌌✨Wanna know how your own retrogrades or unlucky placements play out in your chart? Or decode why certain patterns keep showing up in your life like cosmic reruns?

DM me for a complete astrology reading and check out my pinned post for pricing 🌌✨

[81pastrys]

Opposites Attract

Summary— Oscar isn’t the talkative type but he knows his way around gestures and actions. Until he finds out she doubts her worth as his partner.

Warnings— self-hatred..? ; self-doubting ; loving Oscar ; overthinking!reader ; sensitive!reader

A/N— here’s the mind-blowing Oscar fluff 🩷

Oscar One Shots

Request— hi can you make an oscar fic where reader and oscar had always had this dynamic between them where reader's more of the outgoing, yapping but sweet personality and oscar is more on the reserved quiet side, never talks more then 2 sentences, it had worked out that way and she never noticed his silence until one day one of her friends point it out, and she looks back and notices it and since then whenever they spent time together she notices it too, like it "seems" on the outside that oscar's not paying any attention like being on his phone, or being preoccupied with smth like driving, making sure her order's perfect, and reader misunderstands and wonders if she's being "too much" and gets sad about it, ps reader is a bit sensitive; TYSMMM I LOVE YOUR WORKS SO MUCHHH 💖💖💖

The man of only a few words was somehow dating the girl with all the words. How? Don’t ask them, it just worked out that way. She would talk and talk and talk, while Oscar would just sit, nod, listen in. Nothing ever really needed his input, she was just rambling most of the time. The dynamic duo, one talks while the other listens. Yeah they had their moments of sweet cuddles and PDA but nothing too out of the ordinary. Oscar was more present in the actions while she was more present in the talking. It just worked- clicked even.

“Why is Oscar so quiet all the time?” Her friend mentioned at lunch one day. “You’re always talking and if he does talk it’s like a sentence.” She gave her friend a confused smile.

“He just listens, I mean, I’m usually just talking about my day or things to do.” She shrugged it off. What she didn’t say was that it was getting in her head.

Why doesn’t he talk?

Is he uninterested?

“Just seems odd, you can talk for hours and he can barely speak a sentence.” Her friend should really catch the hint and shut her mouth. She diverts her friend’s attention to something else, to ease her mind of the overthinking.

After that she pays more attention. Oscar really doesn’t talk much. He does for medias but he’s being paid to do that and it’s all car and mechanics anyway, not conversation. Not to mention, when they’re together he’s mindlessly scrolling on his phone or looking towards their surroundings. Sometimes he catches her eye but not as often as she believes is right— like he isn’t even interested.

What she does notice is her favorite flowers perched in a beautifully blown, glass vase on her office desk, or her favorite meal prepped in the fridge for lunch. Oscar also makes a point on live television that he’s happily taken.

The confusion wracks her brain for weeks. No, he doesn’t engage much in conversation but he listens. How else would he know she liked peonies and blown glass from Italy specifically? No, he doesn’t seem all that attentive but she feels loved around him.

The idea that she’s just too much to handle runs across her mind. It sends her into a spiral and she ends up in the corner of their shared room crying in a ball. That’s how Oscar finds her. All she hears is a click of the door and a bit of rustling before the door creaks loudly and a sliver of light shines in. “My love, are you in here?” He asked, quiet, reserved. Uninterested.

His confusion is pushed aside, maybe he thought she went out for a walk. He walks into their bathroom, the light now showing her curled up form to him. She looks towards it and sees he was facing her from the doorway. He didn’t even go in the bathroom.

“Come here doll, tell me what’s wrong.” He said. Not a question or negotiation, no, a command. He walks closer and she uncurls from her ball to stand. Hesitantly she inches closer. “What’s got you so upset, hm?” Soft, caring, interested.

She sobs pathetically into his chest when they finally connect. Oscar just holds her. His hand rubbing soothingly over her back and the other massaging her scalp, something she said calms her down— months ago. That makes her sob harder, he remembered. He listened.

They swayed, rocked side to side. His head resting on top of hers, something else she had mentioned— however long ago— calms her. She took a shaky breath and backed away from his chest, which was now soaked from her tears.

He moved her hair sticking to her face to the side, behind her ears. “Am I too much?” She asked, small, shaky, uncertain. Oscar searched her face for any hints of the fact that she must be joking.

“What?” He asked, genuine confusion across his face. “Never. You are never too much baby, who said that?” He knew she could go down media rabbit holes of hatred and hated that people spoke badly about her— but that’s media for you.

“Me.” That hurt Oscar even more than if she got it from some stupid journalist. He took a deep breath and held her face in his hands, reassuring her needs.

“You will never be too much for me.” He said quiet, only for her to hear. “Why do you say that baby?” She pouted, not sadly, but happily. She wasn’t too much for him— she just got into her own head.

“I talk so much and I want expensive flowers and you never look like you’re listening and then you get me such beautiful things and I’m just not the kind of person you.. you should be with.” She rambled and Oscar listened to every word, decoded them even.

“You are the only person I want to be with.” He started off with, firm, reassuring, true. “I get you expensive flowers to make up for the time we lose apart, I listen when you talk because your voice is heavenly, and I get you beautiful things because you deserve them.” She hugged him again, this time tighter with more passion and a sense of feeling loved. “I love you, for you. Please don’t hate yourself for being you, and please don’t stop being you.”

A broken ‘okay’ came from her lips and Oscar soothed her. Letting her emotions take over and the tears flow. He wants her to know he cares and that it’s okay to need an emotional break from thinking.

“You should talk to me when you feel this way doll, I don’t like when you let yourself spiral.” He whispered. Before she could even think about apologizing, Oscar shushed her. “Don’t apologize my love, just let me hold you.” And so she did, she let him hold her until it all passed.

Now all the sweet gestures of flowers or gifts came with little notes.

‘I made your favorite for lunch, I love you doll.’ In her lunchboxes.

‘I missed you and these reminded me how lucky I am to have you’ with a sweet trinket or jewelry or candies.

‘These flowers are an apology for being gone so long for the triple header, I love and miss you.’

Not only did they never discuss it, but they both understood that it helped and reassured her mind. She was lucky to have him and he was so lucky to have her.

She thought it was all crashing down when he started slacking on the notes or gestures. They were in the Netherlands for the grand prix and he planned a flower field date. She loved it so much, but the nagging ‘he’s going to break up with me’ lingered in her head. Until she turned swiftly with a self-made bouquet and he was on one knee.

More boyfriend Oscar 🫶🏻

@il0vereadingstuff @angelluv16 @justaf1girl @pandabiiissh @itznotsophia @kallanfiona