#why would i be shitty to her id not bc she's always been shitty to me?

[faaun]

pls i need to provide updates

[forgotten-daydreamer]

reading about the batsiblings being wholesome and knowing i will never have that with the only sibling i have because we don't get along and never will

[gwaaaaar]

Hate being a toma stan bc a. Hes toma . (Fucked up and evil. And b. Because hes so much lost potential it pisses me off... Toma in heart route >>>> toma in diamond.

I think hes fascinating in the sense that his fears and worries are legitimate but no matter how "correct" he may be he doesnt have the right to take another persons autonomy as he sees fit. There have been many times in my life where I have feared for my friends' lives and in my mind id be like "why cant i just take care of you and make you happy" and the answer to that is bc theyre sentient human beings 🐴. I feel like tomas route doesnt address the dilemma of that as much as it couldve because i think its interesting... i know not everyone wants a lil ethics lesson or whatever but considering how in heart route hes forced to take responsibility for the shitty things he did i dont think this debate would be too out of place in diamond world. Ultimately how toma feels is understandable, combined with the fact that he trusts no one but himself and may be extremely paranoid... very interesting. But again his methods are unreasonable and just because his feelings are valid doesnt mean its rational and he took it too far...

i think diamond route shouldve explored his anxiety, why he is the way he is, and maybe heroine couldve helped him through being a less paranoid person, resisting his overcontrolling personality and letting her take some responsibility for herself as well bc shes a grown ass adult. And showing him that theres always going to be a better alternative such as just. Talking things out. BC SHES TOO MUCH OF A DOORMAT IM SORRY 😭😭😭 i dont mean to victimblame she didnt deserve anything that happened to her its just. Her dialouge is too flat it makes me angry.

[moonjxsung]

omg i heard we were trashing exes.

i'm gonna try to keep this short but i was with this piece of shit for almost four years so he did quite a lot of damage and trauma.

my first bf was in high school, i was vvvvv clueless about serious relationships and what was normal and what wasn't. anyway,

man said ily like two weeks in, told me we'd get married, bought me things as his way to get me to not be mad at him instead of actually apologizing for what he did. he had me convinced that id be nothing without him, that no one would love me the way he did and wouldn't love me after him cos of how much he fucked me up.

he had a serious god complex and really put himself on a pedestal, he was the smartest person and would not hesitate to bring others down for his own gain. even me his own damn gf. (keep in mind we dated in high school and now i'm 22 and he's still the same to this day.)

i grew up being called dumb and stupid by my peers so he used the fact i grew up believing i was a dumbass to his advantage to convince me that he's smart so he knows what's best. he looked down on me, talked down to me like i was a clueless child and he was simply leading the way.

even if he knew little to nothing about my friends and family cos he never tried to get to know them he would take the opportunity to shit on them whenever i'd rant about issues that came up. he tried to control which friends i was allowed to hang out with by making a good and bad friend list and showing that to my mother.

(at the time our relationship was rocky and she reached out to him cos she wanted to know i was okay. instead of telling her that she could trust me he makes a fucking list)

he ruined relationships with friends we shared, eventually isolating me from everyone. he became my support system and only friend.

bro had me feeling like anything and everything i did was wrong. looking back he never went out of his way to get to learn about what i liked, my hobbies and shit but was more than happy to give me every little detail about his interests when i'd ask him. he criticized everything i liked or did.

bro was the definition, the human fucking form of a manipulator, gaslighter and overall toxic human being. love really makes you stupid and blind to the fucked up shit that happens in a toxic relationship so it wasn't till i got out that i realized the shit he did to me wasn't normal (don't even get me started on the other shit that would literally need a big ass trigger warning)

my ex after him was 10x better but even if that ex did the bare fucking minimum of communication, respect and being a decent human i was like "omg this hasn't happened before" "omg is this normal?"

this ex was actually great but the fact i was in awe of the bare minimum means the toxic ex really had my bar on the floor

anyway ily star

~ 🌸

BESTIE :( I am so fucking sorry oh my god he sounds like absolute fucking SCUM :( the fact that all of us have a horror story about some ex is actually so alarming like WHAT is it with men that they just go around treating everyone like fucking garbage WHYYY are you even seeking out a relationship then???? And then people wonder why we love forms of escapism like fanfic or romance as a genre bc we love imagining healthy love and intimacy… as a form of escape from the complete opposite we’ve been dealt 🤕 I hope you’re far far away from him now & staying both safe and healthy!! None of those shitty ass fucking men deserved you anyway and I’m manifesting so hard that you find someone actually worth your time who gives you all the love n respect you deserve. Swear we could make a fucking emotional support group on here with how many of you guys have horror stories abt men 😭😭 sending you all my love annonie I hope you heal from all you’ve been dealt :( I love you always 🫂💓🫶🌙⭐️

[royal-they]

hi so i kinda happened to fall in love with your art.....and i wanted to ask a few things!!! (if its ok!)

uhmm first of all how long did it take you to get that art style and perfection it etc etc?

also do you have any tips for anatomy? not big complex full body anatomy, just like...idrk honestly, some tips related to anatomy or hands or just the body that helped/help you?

and uh yeah if you just have any general tips on whatever to improve my art/art style i'll take litterally anything 😭

again, i love your art, i love what you make! keep doing what you do, you're awesome!!!! sending love and support <3

ah!! tysm <333!! thats so cool to hear!!!!!!!!!/gen

ive been drawing forever honestly. i've always been really into it. im fifteen so thatd be like 12 years. and obviously i wasnt always studying it super seriously or anything. idk. my art isnt perfect by any means. i just dont really post the shitty pieces lmao. i struggle with sm stuff and will be continuing to study probably till the day i cant hold a pencil anymore lol. (i draw too much, my hand hurts ;w;) its a never ending process and honestly thats why i love it sm.

as for anatomy i think the main thing to keep in mind is that anatomy and just drawing people in general is really hard. i heard this in this old video about how pixar used to do 3d animation is that the reason they didnt do animations of humans for so long is because we ourselves have very specefic ideas of what a human looks like. i think this also applies to art. which is a really long way of saying, trust the process.

i use photos personally! you can find a lot on pinterest but there are a couple things id keep in mind when it comes to photos people edit their bodies sometimes so their proportions so be careful, it will defeat the purpose of the study if the bodies inaccurate.

idk here are some that might be good for starting off. dancers and people like that are super helpful. remember to not to focus too much on the lines but more copying down the shapes,

for hands i would just look at your own hands and try to capture them quickly. i say quickly mainly bc i shake a lot lmao, maybe youre different. or you could just be smart and take a picture of your hand but im very lazy and dont like getting up to grab my phone.

for art style id just save stuff that inspire you. could be animations, comics, album covers, cool photos, just stuff that gives you like vibes. literally ANYTHING.

like, omg this is making me think of a cool idea rn!! save it! even if you cant execute it now you can always execute it in the future when your skills are more developed :)

style studies are also helpful! try copying art you like, seeing different peoples techniques however some things to keep in mind with this are

you might accidently copy down an artists mistakes or bad habits without realizing it so try to have some variety in your artists

dont post the art. some people are okay with tracing but the vast majority of artists dont like it and it makes them uncomfortable. so id just like keep it in your sketchbook or whatever :) better safe than sorry.

anyway ah this is so longgggg! sry im so bad at being concise lol. theres probably a lot of youtube videos that could help you with this stuff if you want more explanation. the channel ive been watching a lot in since this summer is sketches of shay. she makes a variety of stuff but her art studies and resources are also very helpful :)

Sketches of Shay - YouTube

[blkpntherxo]

My unasked watch through of The Idol episode 2 *SPOILERS*

the warning has already made me even more nervous (yes i know there was a warning in the last episode, but this one is ehhhhhhhhhh)

i stg if he actually does do some dirty talking shit in this, i don't think i can finish. i get second hand embarrassment terribly

i do not like jane adams. like at all.

NOT THE EUPHORIA TEXT FONT LMAOOO COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW

ooh girl, he ain't picking up? oop

oooohhhhhhhhh, this is when her mother died. scratch what i said before then

wait, when did her mom die? she said she was inspired last night so that obviously means that this picks up the day after the events of last episode. I thought this was a flashback I'm so confused.

YOU STARTED THE SONG OFF WITH MOANING?????? GIRL YOU ARE NOT DONNA SUMMER

honestly the original version was great fck anyone who doesn't think it was

leia nodding to it like the bestie she is, YOU COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE HER

if that was me showing my team a new version of a song, i'd be standing there shitting bricks pls

00000000KKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY that was....some transition. at least the beginning scene ain't 20 minutes this time

damn i gotta mute this, my mom's in the other room lol

oh we're back cool

WHY IS NIKKI ALWAYS ATTACKING XANDER BACK OFF BITCH

managers/agents/record labels probably act like this in real life. if she don't like it, she don't like it. she's the one making you money dummy

LEIA SAY SOMETHING (i know she won't bc she's a shy girly) PLS

THIS MAN STILL ISN'T PICKING UP HIS PHONE GIRL YOU'RE BEING PLAYED

so Chaim is like the dad figure for her aww

why am i enjoying this

the new version of the song sounds like it could be played in step up with all that breathing. i can see them doing a chest pump with it Imao

"why'd you play them the song?" SHUT UP BRO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ANSWERING HER TEXTS WTF WERE YOU DOING????????

YOU'RE PHONE WAS ON SILENT PLS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BRO I CAN'T STAND YOU

we don't even know the passage of time because that damn studio has no windows BUT HE LEFT HIS PHONE ON FUCKING SILENT BRO

• i'm just typing angrily on my keyboard right now, this man has me so heated

if i was jocelyn, i would not have answered bc you just ghosted me after we had that good good and applesauce and NOW YOU WANNA TALK?

at least the scenes are progressing faster than the pilot

izaak is def...ya know💅🏿

DID HE JUST INTERRUPT HER?? AFTER SHE'S BEEN TRYING TO CONTACT HIM FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS???

she said "i am the id babes" PERIOD

LET HER KEEP DOING IT SHE WANTS IT TO BE BETTER YOU BITCHES

she's obviously going through something and no one is sensing that

NIKKI YOU WERE THERE WHEN DYANNE WAS DOING THE DANCE HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS

Chaim really is a father figure to her awwwwwwwwwwww

THEY GOT A PI ON TEDROS LMAOOO THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHORE

I love DaVine she's so mother

NIKKI YOU BTICH

how can they shoot it if dyanne's not there?

please tell me the music video is coming out

NO THE FUCKING CAMERA ISN'T WORKING Y'ALL SHOULD'VE HAD SOMEONE ON TOP OF THIS WHAT WERE YOU DOING DURING THAT 15 MINUTE BREAK BRO?????

so instead of just cutting, they let her do the whole routine while the shot was OUT OF FOCUS??? I'd fight that director on the spot i'm so heated

it don't matter if i'm giving 110%, if i'm not seen yell cut and fix the shit

now she's gonna mess up again and they're gonna be on her ass bc she wants it to be perfect

the filmmaker in me is trembling in anger i'd light that damn set on fire

director? fired. dp? dropped. 1st ac? probably didn't do anything, but that's why the take is shitty so they're gone too

they need to call it a day bc she's literally hurting herself

HE HAS A SHOCK COLLAR ON IZAAK WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU BRO

that $450,000 ain't worth her health

oh, she's breaking. end it for the day y'all, she's been pushed too much

of course this is gonna drive her into tedros' arms even more

PEP TALK HER INTO IT? NO SHE NEEDS TO GO HOME AND REST

DAVINE YOU'RE NOW MY FAVORITE CHARACTER BC SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT NONE OF THOSE BITCHES WOULDN'T BE THERE WITHOUT JOCELYN

it's kinda giving "black best friend", but i still fuck with it

oh SHUT UP NIKKI NO ONE LIKES YOU

OH FUCK YOU NIKKI YOU BITCH HOW DARE YOU JUST REPLACE HER

sam levinson loves his zoom ins and zoom outs

"hello angel" fuck off bro

DYANNE NO

DYANNE WHAT THE HECK BRO

are you sure you should be wearing heels babe?

at least he has transportation

what a beautiful chocolate man

NOW WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN SWIM IN THAT GIRLS POOL? WITH NOTHING ON?

ok but who's the black girl?

DO NOT CORRUPT MY INNOCENT GIRL LEIA WITH YOUR FOOLISHNESS TEDROS

CHOLE WHO SAID YOU CAN TAKE A TOUR?

that wig was professionally done at the Tyler Perry School of Wigs lord FIX IT

WHAT IS CHLOE DOING?????

WHAT. IS. CHLOE. DOING.

wait, DID HE TELL CHLOE THE SAME THINGS?

okay, it's getting very wattpad/ao3 right now

or is chloe wanting to be her?

HIS MOANS........

thought the sex scenes would be worse than this tbh, but that isaac and leia one was a jumpscare ngl

MOVE IN? WHAT THE FUCK

chloe can play and sang baby

WHERE DID THE BLACK GIRL GO????

YES HARMONY

oh poor leia

but like seriously WHERE DID THE FUCKING BLACK GIRL GO?????????

my overall opinion of the episode: way better than the first. I didn't feel that it was dragging on at any point. the writing is still a little iffy, although I understand why some characters say certain things. Abel, babe, either the acting ain't it bc the script is off or he just can't act. Like there were points were I liked his acting, but then he'd do something that just deducted 10 points for me. Not to mention that last scene when they were at Jocelyn's house and he started talking dirty to her, I wanted to throw myself out the window bc it was giving Wattpad/AO3 vibes and not in a good way. Overall, I give this episode a 7/10. Do with that what you will.

[forehead451]

crazy to me... it was always about control.

it was the day before my dads birthday. my parents were out on saturday like they always are and they often come home late in the evening. my sisters room was closed with curtains drawn so thats always the signal to leave her alone bc she works irregular hours often going to bed in the early morning or even midday. im not going to disturb her. its understood to assume she's sleeping unless she leaves her room.

its the mid afternoon, i head out to run errands and get my dads birthday gifts and card, flowers, etc. i eventually end up at Walmart bc it closes late. its after sunset atp but still nothing unusual. my mom called me while i was shopping earlier. she knows im at walmart doing birthday things for my dad.

now its almost 10pm. ive been relaxing in solitude in the car in parking lots in between stops. just enjoying my time away from the house bc i so rarely LEAVE.

i get a message from my sister.

now me being the frenzied shopper/low self-esteem sister who was feeling shitty bc had spoken too much about not liking my job at a dinner party a few nights before, immediately read her initial message as "*stop* telling people where you're headed as an adult. so nobody has to ask [further questions about why im unhappy/ungrateful]. it's rude and inconsiderate. because you're part of a household [meaning we're supporting you while you sit there complaining about your life and you reflect badly on us]".

im like "damn. you right, im not gonna fight you for the millionth time this month. i am ungrateful and immature."

then she follows with "act right dad is sad". dad.. is sad?? why? hes not usually one to take that kind of thing seriously or to heart... have i really let him down so badly???

then my working brain finally kicks in to read what she's actually saying. START telling people where im going. like an adult. okay, going where? why? to WHO?? the empty house?? am i to send a message in the groupchat to people who are 1) often asleep and unconcerned and 2) not home and won't read it til they get home plus usually id be back before theyd notice anyway? why would i do that.

so turns out its just my dad thinking I'm being murdered bc im out past sundown but just wants to whine about it and enjoy being dramatic instead of just asking. bc i am a call away. bc he's not actually worried, he just wishes i was hanging out with him.

so i tell her mom knows where i am and she says oh feeling dumb then comes back again to hammer home her righteous point:

here's the real issue she has with this situation:

shes pissed bc she thinks im out in the city with my friends and gone for the night or the weekend or whatever and not at home working with her when what's ACTUALLY happening is me doing mundane errands at the plaza less than ten minutes away as i ALWAYS AM and thinking about our dads birthday the next day. she's pissed that she thought i was having fun without her permission and the lack of control over me made her livid.

you cannot tell from these texts but i know how she types and what she'd think was even worthy to waste time talking or messaging about. and to be made wrong or having me stand by my actions, she is PISSED.

it really seems so banal but im telling you. its such a perfect example of how much she hated not having a say in what i did and how long and when after half a year of it. it really sent chills down my spine while also making my blood boil right back.

it scares me how much a switch was flipped the moment she realized she was losing control over me. she couldn't scream or scare or shame me into fucking anything.

[cydie]

damn talking to Jason has reminded me of a pivotal childhood experience that id completely forgotten about that played a massive part of my life

childhood friendships

i always feel like a pick me telling people i struggle to make female friends but its very damn true but i had no idea how deep it ran

growing up i knew i had a shitty relationship with my mother yeah

but it was hot and cold

like it wasnt that i didnt know how to be personally close with another female

physically at least like being comfortable with the female body

bc in asian culture bodies are just bodies

and theyre less likely to be seen sexually

you have more of a divide between men and women than we do in western culture

so i showered with my mum a lot

being naked in front of her was not uncomfortable for me as a child

being close in proximity was not an issue etc

but i was never emotionally close with my mum i would never tell her anything

and i dont think about that specifically because i relied on her as a parent emotionally?

but when it came to my own personal emotions that didnt involve say like

something physical

i couldnt imagine confiding in her

but then growing up i was never taught to feel my emotions or had any guidance or learning about how to handle my emotions

so probably one of the reasons i grew up so independently was because i felt like i needed to

and that didnt really connect with anytging until i realised today

that i had very valid reasons for not having female friends

and i so wish that i did but im scared of girls potentially in the same way guys are scared of girls but mostly because i have never been emotionally vulnerable or open with a female and ive never been able to because of my relationship with my single mother

chelsea:

the first flag that showed me i had connection issues was my friend chelsea. in grade 10? around then, id made a new friend group. they were all in mainstream and there was 3 main girls in the group and 2 guys 1 of the guys ended up turning out kinda weird bc he liked all of us and one of the girls i tihnk chels told me he was saying things to her about me that were sexually explicit like the things he wanted to do or something idk either way not the focus so i got really close to chelsea as a friend, because she slept over at mine once. my mum approved partly bc she was half japanese, and a girl. and sleepovers were fairly rare for me especially in primary school, but less in high school but my mum really preferred me to have someone stay over at mine, not have me stay at someone elses which really stopped me from making a lot of friends tbh and a lot of missed social experiences anyway i was pretty close to chelsea, had a lot of inside jokes etc but i remember a facebook conversation with her in dms where she got upset at me because she always confided in me and told me her secrets and i never told her any of mine and i remember thinking "i dont really have any secrets??" like back then it read to me like she wanted me to tell her my secrets and personal things but i personally did not have much thought i didnt have anything i was particularly upset about or had any personal things i just had a very average life of seeking the next piece of dopamine and i was like a kid?? but now i recognise that as she was seeking emotional connection, something that she was trying to bridge by telling me her personal things, and something i kept rejecting bc i had nothing to tell her (i probably did and i just didnt see them as necessary information to share) and i can see the different mindsets of me when i was 13 and me now as a 26 year old back then i??? was not an emotion person? iw as very cold and calculating and you wouldnt be able to see that bc i was still a girl and a kid and cute/endearing as a small asian kid but we didnt stay close i dont remember why but i drifted from that friend group maybe bc i got different interests made new friends etc (start of my tumblr phase)

2. nicole

throughout my life, i've always had 2 online best friends. chloe and mary. and it was easy to be friends with them because there was no IRL demand we would msn all the time, video call all the time and play habbo hotel amongst various other social games and honestly these were my closest friends from like maybe 10 to like 16? i used to make up stories like i had more friends irl than i actually did and make fake facebook profiles to play a pretend storyline that was my life honestly i hated my own life and i hated myself i was never taught any form of self love, only self hate. i learnt self hate from my mother. i learnt self sacrifice from my mother. but i never learnt self love from her even though i could easily see that she valued herself. she never taught me that she valued me, more than being her child. when i became friends with nicole in grade 9, because she was new to the class and i always liked making friends with new people bc they didnt know me yet lmao we got suuuper close she lived nearby, family renting from another friend i grew up with in primary school and me and her were close close to the point where we would hang out after school walk home together we would do most things together and i spent a lot of time with her on msn and in downtime/free time she even met my dad, which was rare she saw more of me than anyone else i think and thats why she saw through me because when her family moved to brisbane and she started attending the arts academy there, she left me a long note in a word doc i could prob still find it but basically it said, she didn't understand why i hated my mum, she didnt understand why i lied about friends/pretended to be people that didnt exist/she didnt understand why when she came to me for emotional support, i wasn't there for her she wished me well, and she moved away bc her dad had gotten a better job and she was about to get the life that i wanted i saw she got a dog too one time kayne james said nicole was ugly to brandon and brandon told me and told me not to say anything and i remember that info in my head still so clearly and thinking i never thought she was ugly, i actually admired her features but i guess i could see why ?? but personally i still disagreed regardless in the end nicole had 2 loving parents that was able to teach her love a privilege that i never had she was luckier than i ever was in life, despite all the privileges that i had in terms of money and opportunities

these two experiences flag to me now that i had never been able to connect to a female

and i still remember feeling so weird

like back then, emotionally confiding in a female was like there was a roadblock

when i was put into hospital as a kid, i was more comfortable with the male nurses than the female ones

and the only female nurse i had ever been comfortable with was nurse sue in the high school

where she said some things that triggered tears i didnt realise i had

her ability to connect to that inner part of me probably set me up to look for mother figures in others too

childhood is so interesting in the way it shapes you. i can think i know myself and i'm smart and clever all i want, and back then for my age, i was. but i still wasn't able to be as smart as time and experience.

its likely im still miles ahead of 90% of the people my age in emotional development and self reflection but i still have 90% of the way to go

even now, i still have connection roadblocks, and i have to work to figure out where its coming from and how to get around it

but its very interesting to think about these childhood experiences and think about how

i was blocking things out from the beginning.

[kyoryu]

We have heard your gospel on the shitty finale. Now, dear prophet, I humbly ask for your fix-it ideas

OK SO

you said FIX IT... so how would i fix it. oh in so many ways. but to make what we had WORK, its simple. ive said it before and i will say it again. 3 simple things:

- having no way back to amphibia is treated by the characters as something unfair and theyre all very broken up about it, especially anne. she's inconsolable. shes not accepting just cuz omg i changed i will just take every bad thing life keeps throwing at me here throw some more

- we get to see anne reunite with her parents when shes back (sasha and marcy with theirs too would be nice but thats another can of worms to open)

- after the trio hug in the timeskip, have an actual open end where we see a light flash when they walk off screen. like they went... Somewhere 😳 thatd be cool, like have they opened it before? is this the first time? is it even a portal? dont know, actual open end ✌️

(people keep saying what we got was an open end and the more i think about it the more i call bs. it wasnt open ended they just didnt go back to amphibia and ur in denial. cry about it ig)

anyways id be so happy with an ending like that. im not even changing much its just adding 3 things.

(also id probably skip on the trio growing apart and shit. like i keep saying, i dont think them growing apart in the situation where amphibia is closed for good works out. its just weird. like yeah we close this chapter that totally didnt mark us for life and we move on 🤟 BUT AGAIN JUST LIKE SASHARCYS PARENTS, THATS ANOTHER CONVO)

AS FOR AN ACTUAL FIX IT... to make exactly what we got work we'd have to rewrite the whole thing. not make it about saving the world, not making it so much about family, changing everything. cuz that ending just shits on everything lmao if the ending we got actually worked then amphibia would have to be a completely different story

ANYWAY a fix it would be what i said. tbh i like it when u add those 3 things. its genuinely bittersweet like that. it makes me angry about how its only 3 simple little things that couldve been added and i wouldve been content. but whatever

HOWEVER, A DELUSIONAL ENDING THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY WOULD BE: annes given 3 full stones, bc i dont see why tf not if she meets god. i mean if its gonna be nonsensical then lets be nonsensical all the way and have 3 stones. each of them get one, and they can use it to travel back and forth by themselves. each time they have to charge it.

this means they dont usually Go together. they go separately, and if theyre ever in amphibia at the same time they might not even know. sasha always warps at toad tower, anne in wartwood, marcy in newtopia. they go to amphibia for their own purposes and business. and thus the trio grows apart.

it makes more fucking sense, ofc i think the trio growing apart makes sense, it just Doesnt when you add it up with closing off amphibia forever lol. but with amphibia being accessible i totally see it. theyre all doing their own stuff and making their own friends (both human and amphibians). even like this, after what they went through, sasha anne and marcy are intertwined for life. no matter how much time passes, how different they become, theyre unique to each other. they always come back to each other at one point. other than that, amphibia is open, they get to grow up in a place they love with people they love without having to sacrifice choosing one or the other bc that Sucks Ass and they've been thru enough, and have enough mental scars that will keep haunting them even after if they get to thrive in both worlds

this version is kinda. unrealistic. i get it. but the realistic ending we got was bullshit and shitted on everything, its sad and not to mention Boring. i think this ver still gets the point across (point that was already made so many times in the show anyway), sprig and anne grow up together, anne still becomes a herpetologist but now instead of fucking tragic and sad its very fun and cute, sasha has a getaway from her chaotic homelife and can be with grime who never ever EVER left her side, marcy gets to become close to olivia like shes failed to do and hence gain an actual mother figure in her life, etc etc. hehe

(and as adults sasha and marcy choose to move to amphibia. or as teenagers they just straight up stay there. but thats another convo as well)

i actually do enjoy a version where they only go back after 10 years and they have to reconnect, its fun to explore, but it never stops being Sad. i think of it and make hcs about it and comics about it but it never stops being full on sad ending to me and when i remember its not just a fun concept im exploring, its the genuine ending we got that is supposed to be Good and Satisfying, i become enraged. i continue not to see the sweet in the bitter. i wish people would at least admit its full on a very sad ending instead of pretending it was something else (people who liked it say it makes them want to d1e or say "idk i just like sad endings" so u agree. u agree it is a sad ending where characters end up sad)

anyways. kind of a stupid ramble here. i love amphibia (kicks the ending on the throat)

[ancient-namess]

Huntlow👀

OOOO this is gonna be fun..... despite my love for toh ive never rlly considered huntlow as a ship. thank u for the ask !!

who is more likely to hurt the other?

hunter is a fool (affectionate) w/ no social skills so there is NO way he has not unintentionally fucked up and had to spend the next 24 hours making it up to willow

who is emotionally stronger?

hunter would like to think it's him. it is not

who is physically stronger?

i'd say willow. hunter's got training and experience but willow's got her Cool Plant Magic behind her as well

who is more likely to break a bone?

they have both broken several bones over their lives and i will not accept any other answer

who knows best what to say to upset the other?

id say they both know each other well enough to know What buttons to push - it's just a matter of If and When

who is more likely to apologise first after an argument?

hunter swears he's never going to speak to willow again and then 20 minutes later he's writing a shitty text apology begging for her forgiveness

who treats who's wounds more often?

they are both chaos children who exasperatedly look after each other

who is in constant need of comfort?

hunter: i am a well adjusted individual. i was raised in the emperor's coven, for titan's sake! also hunter: today i told willow a joke and she only laughed for approximately two and a half seconds. i think she wants to break up with me gus, who has been listening to him cry for 15 minutes straight: yeah man. you better up your joke game

who gets more jealous?

idk if Jealous is the right word but hunter definitely strikes me as the type to be self-conscious abt his worth

who's more likely to walk out on the other?

we have seen on multiple occasions that hunter's response to Conflict is to Dip. HOWEVER i'd argue that w/ people he trusts (e.g. willow and the rest of the hexsquad) he'd be more willing to try and stick a hard situation through honestly

who will propose?

hot take: marriage is just One of Those Things hunter has never heard of being a ward of the local cult. willow proposes and he's like "haha cool. i dont know what this means"

who has the most difficult parents?

..... gestures at belos

who initiates hand-holding when they're out in public?

hm. we have seen that hunter has a Thing going on with his hands however we have not been given lore on WHY. therefore i propose: bumping shoulders. it seems like their vibe alternatively: willow would initiate handholding but always w/ the understanding that hunter could refuse

who comes up for the other all the time?

they are texting each other 24/7 idk what to tell you

who hogs the blankets?

theyre sitting on the couch watching a movie and willow is swaddled in like 3 different blankets and hunter is lowkey freezing but he refuses to steal even one because 1) he is Tough. and 2) willow looks so content <3

who gets more sad?

hmmm.... depends on the context. when willow is upset her emotions have always been rlly strong however i think all things considered she has a pretty good hold on them. she's also consciously trying to be positive through each day - on the other hand, hunter has been the Lord of Pessimism for years however bc of that being Sad has just become a Normal thing for him.

who is better at cheering the other up?

they're both good at it just in different ways. willow is good at offering genuine comfort and advice. hunter manages to comfort her because his attempt at comfort is just so laughably bad that it takes away from the pain

who's the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

replace "silly jokes" with "fucked up fact / history presented as though it is normal" and willow is regularly reminding hunter that "hey being left at the top of a mountain isnt actually a healthy childhood experience"

who is more streetwise?

i think they're both streetwise in their own ways - hunter's been Trained in survival situations and other fucked up things in the emperor's coven. he knows how to look after himself after he escapes the coven. willow however - she didnt grow up with those experiences but she HAS been through a lot in her own right and she knows how to handle herself.

who is more wise?

willow 100%. she has common sense. hunter does not

who's the shyest?

hunter Thinks he's confident but when it comes to Emotions and Sappy Things (trademark) he is Not

who boasts about the other more?

hunter thinks his gf is the coolest witch alive

who sits on who's lap?

picture this: hunter laying w/ his head on willow's lap gazing up at her adoringly while she talks abt her latest class

[saintobio]

I somewhat understand y/n’s decision to leave with everything that happened but lying about a abortion and hiding his kid is messed up on SO MANY LEVELS😩 there are gonna be some serious consequences to her actions and she’ll feel so bad because we all know he loved that baby😔 and she deprived him of that feeling of seeing him grow up a bit. I get her feelings tho not saying that they weren’t valid, but like what were you going to explain to your son in the future? I mean you have Toji and that’s great and all I guess but I think eventually their son would’ve figured out that he wasn’t his actual dad…what was her plan? What were you gonna tell him then? And not trying to make gojo seem like he’s innocent but damn….Did she not think that far….. I feel like y/n was dead wrong for that 😕



Anonymous said

she drove satoru to the point of being suicidal for years i think she made him suffer enough especially when she saw how much he already changed for her during the first few months of her pregnancy. idk i know ppl say shes right to do it because she was traumatized well id argue gojo is just as traumatized if not more. it seems like hes paying for things he didnt even do bc why is he suffering more than eula? 😭 idk that was a shit move for yn no matter what the reason is thats his child and he could've been his savior but instead he was miserable and driven to kill himself over and over for 3 whole years while she was healing and about to get married.

Anonymous said

*TW: Mention of Suicide*

You don’t have to answer if this is a spoiler for pt 2, but was it really Y/N’s idea to fake an abortion or was it Gen and her dad’s idea? Cause going through all of that to keep Gojo away from her is ridiculously fucked up. Like I absolutely agree with her getting away from him and all, but hiding his child from him for 3 years??? Especially knowing how excited he was to be a father? I just… y/n should’ve known better than that, even if she doesn’t know about his attempt. Even as shitty as Gojo was to y/n, nobody deserves to be fooled into thinking their child is gone… I’m sooo conflicted☹️. Anywho I hope Gojo will be okay and no offense to y/n cause I love her but Toji deserves much better than someone who’s still hung up on her ex (as does she tbh). I can’t wait to see how this all pans out!!

Anonymous said

I support YN in her decisions

For the divorce, her leaving Japan, she had every right to do it

But I find depriving Gojo from his child is wrong. After their encounter YN can probably guess that Gojo’s mental state is sh1t so she knows that if he sees his son and find out about him his mentality will be even more fcked up which can also make him unalive himself which is basically what happened.

I find YN cruel in this chapter but I also understand that she has every reason to do it

Anonymous said

I love y/n, I’ve defended her a thousand million times and I think I always will, but for the first time in my life I’m gonna have to say that she’s in the wrong. Not only did she take satoru’s fatherhood away from him, but she did it in such a cruel way oh my god. The late term ‘abortion?’ Wow, I know she was in a desperate situation, I do, but I hope she felt shame hearing that mans cries outside of the hospital room she was in. That goes for her father, gen, leiri, literally anyone who kept up with this lie that Satoru’s child was dead.

And then to marry another man, which in itself isn’t a problem (honestly good for her) but then what? Would Toji raise the child as his own? Maybe the child wouldn’t call him papa, but wouldn’t he be the child’s main paternal figure??

Does anyone, if not y/n realize how cruel this is to satoru?

Say what you want about Gojo, but the mans had more than enough karma come his way. More than enough!! This all layered on top of his car accident and possible amnesia? Will he have to relive all of his pain?

Oh my god, I actually really hope y/n isn’t forgiven so easily for this. Because although I support her personal growth and happiness, Satoru truly never deserved to have his son taken from him like that, she heard him and still went through with it. Wow

Anonymous said

No because I understand why Yn might have wanted to keep the secret of having the baby, but making Gojo think she aborted it is actually insane. Like y’all literally cannot defend her actions. So what if you didn’t want to see him anymore? You literally absolutely trashed his mental health just like he did yours, and for what? To be an “independent woman?” Not worth it. She took away the opportunity to let a father care and love for his son, which I 100% think might have saved him from trying to KILL HIMSELF MULTIPLE TIMES. It’s so sad. They both fucked up (and I am in no way defending Gojo’s actions so don’t start y’all) but she took it to another level. AND THEN MARRYING TOJI?? Damn that really adds salt to the womb💀💀 Anyways I really do hope Gojo finds happiness because I believe he’s had enough karma. He deserves someone new who will care for him through everything, and I hope he looses his memory and forgets all about the drama. As for yn I hope she realizes her mistakes, but I will always hope she gets a happy ending too because it’s what she deserves after everything she’s went through. These people do not need to be together considering EVERYTHING, but whatever you do I’ll support. Keep up the good work ive been looking forward to Friday’s and Saturday’s each week

Anonymous said

Is so unfair to gojou was been lied to by y/n she did SOOO wrong in not telling him about his child. As much as gojou was an ass he deserved to know. ���

Anonymous said

omg saint…I feel horrible but a part of me is mad at y/n, u probably kno who this is cuz I commented it but it’s whatever, but anyways,, IDKK I just have been feeling so bad for gojou the past few chapters, makes me so sad :(( plus I’m a gojo fucker I can’t imagine that man sad - 🦚

Anonymous said

NAUR ?! now i don’t mean to be mean but HELLO ?! Y/N GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ?????? I CANT BELIEVE SHE KEPT GOJOU’S OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM HIM !?? also when she called him gojou instead of satoru :(((( but omg i can already tell how good sn2 is gonna be BUT THIS CHAPTER WAS SO SAD :((( y/n’s dad and gen hearing abt satoru’s accident like “RIP BOZO💯” LMAOOOO also if gojou gets amnesia i will literally d*e… like it’s so bittersweet to think that he’ll be like a brand new person regardless of if it’s for the better or worse bc his suffering has really made him his own unique character and it’s the basis of his relationships with so many people :( but it also allows for so many more opportunities ITS SO BITTERSWEET I TELL YOU!!! AAAAAAAA

anyways,,, onto more serious things… saint thank you so much for writing sn!!! it’s seriously one of my favorite fics of all time and it brings me so much comfort i reread it all the time!! i hope sn2 come out soon but please continue to take care of yourself and rest!! i appreciate the chapters, characters, the storyline, everything you wrote!!! you really went the extra mile and i hope sn2 comes out with a bang!! :> thank you again saint! :’)

yn’s side previously answered here !! once again, i’ll remain neutral regarding this discourse so i can also prevent any spoilers and also people are 50/50. but my two cents about satoru on this:

writing abt his downfall made me feel sorry for him especially as it’s affected his overall mental health . although she wasn’t aware abt him being suicidal after she left, it was horrible on gojo’s part to be deprived of his own child esp by means of faking an abortion (which again, like i said, will come haunt her next season). he definitely deserves better than that, but then again they also both hurt each other.

at the beginning of their marriage, he insulted her to her face, disrespected her, treated her horribly, blatantly cheated on her, shamelessly neglected her. now by the end of their marriage, she abandoned and pretty much ghosted him, lied about the abortion so he has no reasons to hold onto her, kept the baby away for some time thinking it’s for the best, disallowed any communication between them. they obviously are very different situations and have very different impacts, but that just shows that yn (like gojo) also has the capability to destroy him even twice as much as he destroyed her. was it acceptable? definitely not. and she’s not proud. neither is gojo proud abt his behavior in the first few months of their marriage. they make mistakes, they hurt each other, one may be cruel than the other, or maybe not—either way, this is satoru’s realization that he is not always the person to blame. that he isn’t an antagonist to his story bc yn can also be as selfish and flawed like him. that she, too, can make inexcusable decisions like he did.

[maeshmallo]

so i folded and binge-read lore olympus

im just gonna talk about it cause im bored and there’s stuff i wanna discuss about it. i’ve always been in love with the hades x persephone story (the first version i read was consensual so that’s the one that resonates with me the most) 

im gonna start with the good stuff

- i love the animation! the colours are so fun and cool and i like how captivating they are, and the pink of persephone and blue of hades works well together

- i like that the time frame of olympus and the underworld is expedited compared to the modern world, that’s really neat

- the comedic timing is spot on, both the dialogue and animation can be so great and make me laugh to tears

- hades and persphone’s moments can be so tender and sweet, one scene between them that just sticks with me is when they are cooking together, or the first time she asked the names of his dogs and he lit up. they are so soft for each other and it makes my heart so so warm ;-; and i like their banter too

- i like hermes, and artemis, and eros, and basically everybody who’s become a friend in this series, they’re great (ares is an honourable mention bc he’s funny with amazing character design imo)

- the fact that therapy is a thing here??? pls they all need it omg 

- the exploration of cycles in different extremes (the cycle of fertility goddesses being used for power, having shitty people around you in turn making you shitty to those you love, the fear of becoming one’s parents, etc)

- i like that none of the characters are “good” or “bad”. as it goes with deities, they are as morally grey as you can get especially in regard to mortals. (with the exception of apollo. i hate his character.)

- i appreciate the discussion of boundaries between hades and persephone, letting fluffy moments just be fluffy and sweet

- their relationship in general has very sweet moments and warms my heart a lot of times

- honourable mentions: baby hades being very worrisome for such a small boy, hades with his stars, hades with his crowns and earrings, hades with his little glasses, hades’ scars. hades. 💕 

all in all, it’s a very fun read with many intriguing and cool themes that I love and i’m excited to see how it is concluded

now for critiques 

- why did persephone have to be 19/20??? not 119, not 190, that young compared to everyone around her??? i mean even though on our (mortal) terms, she is legal and perfectly capable of making her own decisions. but the issue within most age gap relationships is not primarily the difference in years itself, but the difference in mindset and stages of life (a relationship between a 14 and 18 year old is vastly different from a relationship between a 30 and 34 year old). there doesnt seem to be a point to make her so young and then pair her with a being literally older than death itself, ya know? but that’s just me 

- not necesarrily the characters, but more so the reactions to them. why is it that hades, modeled to be a capitalist business owner that keeps the dead souls as slaves and does things that are so cruel (i.e tear out some kids eye for a photograph or threaten an employee for asking for ID) is seen as a precious baby that can do no wrong?? now please understand that I love his character, I adore him!!! but he is no baby, and there is nothing stranger than seeing a morally grey character or straight up villain (who doesnt love a good villain every now and again amirite) be coddled and have excuses made for them while their female counterparts are villainized for the same or lesser offenses, which brings me to my next point

- minthe. she is no saint, and i dont like her all that much. she was petty and catty, and an awful and cruel partner towards hades. however, she is complex in that we see her internal monologue and can see that most of these things come from a place of insecurity and deep rooted issues with herself. not to excuse her behaviour because it is all very immature and lame, but i hope to see an arc from her that allows growth and letting go of being forced to see herself as nothing more than a trashy nymph. and learning to apologize properly

- also why was it funny when hecate smacked him across the face like three times but a crime when minthe hit him upside the head. my point is both were bad, but one gets forgotten and forgiven. 

- man why is persephone drawn so mf tiny? i mean it’s cool to be short, but in some frames she’s legit at his waist which is a bit odd since you’re kind of already toeing the line of what is appropriate and what isn’t in their relationship (employer/employee relationship, extreme age difference, somewhat childish nature). i cant lie this feels nitpicky but it’s just so jarring everytime i see it combined with everything else, ya know??

- i dont know if the apollo incident was necessary. i feel the story would have been the same if had just been a pushy jerk trying to marry persephone because she is a fertility goddess for his own advantage. it was just an awful thing that provides very little substance to the plot and made me struggle to read it.

- im still a bit lost on where we are with what’s going on with persephone. when she goes into her “death bringer” state, why does it seem like she’s been possessed instead of it being embraced as who she is? i’d like to see her gain more control of these powers and maybe trained properly by someone so that the next time they are used, they are used with intent and purpose.

- lastly, why is persephone’s growth being stifled? we see her make mistakes, and fall short in certain areas, but i would also like to see her excercise agency and fix things for herself. we only got to see a glimpse of that, but i want more so that she can figure out for herself what and who exactly she is and what she wants without having to think about others and what they need from her. if she is to become the queen of the underworld we want her to be, she doesn’t need to be coddled all the time.

if there is anything more to be added to the conversation, pls feel free too!! i like conversation and this is an interesting topic!

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

[transgenderfox]

wait omg drop the elise essay king ‼️

IM ONLY 20 MINUTES INTO CUTSCENES SO EVERYONE IGNORE MY DUMBASS IF ANYTHING I SAY IS BLATANTLY WRONG AND WHATNOT

also this all probably makes no sense bc i wrote it all immediately upon waking up and its very disjointed . (did my best to clean it up for u bestie <3) but anyway

SO. basically i really dont like how elise is just something for sonic to chase after rescuing over and over and over. it feels like in trying to stop amy from being the damsel in distress they were like okay but now we need a NEW one. i dislike how she has such little agency.

my understanding of her backstory so far is her dad puts iblis in her as a kid and then dies because parents have no rights in this franchise. and this sounds !! like SUCH an interesting basis for her character. (again im not at that part yet so almost definitely im missing something but to seal iblis in her feels VERY shitty even if its nessacary for whatever reason, shes only a child.)

you could spin it to be a narrative about childhood abuse or trauma but again i dont have full context yet, if thats not at all where it goes then were i completely rewriting it id go with that personally !!

ANYWAY THE MAIN POINT I WAS GOING ON ABOUT IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE FROM HER:

so far it seems like the plot is just happening around her and to her. shes grabbed shes rescued she plays exposition fairy rinse wash repeat and i think this could actually be used well, as a starting point for her arc.

that line saying shes a good girl stuck out to me, as thats what you call children who dont cause problems. and well. what is a problem if not iblis. this heavy focus on being "good" and having to repress everything to keep iblis at bay will obviously weigh on someone, especially a child. this girl can bottle up so many dang emotions. she can be a true lesson in toxic positivity !! she also strikes me as very lonely (not uncommon with royal characters in sonic, like blaze)

so, shes a good (read: obedient) child who tells herself she has to always be happy for everyone elses sake. that her pain will harm others greatly.

mirroring how she had no control in the decision to harbour iblis, she allows herself to be pulled about by the plot for a while. (maybe acting independently doesnt even feel like an option to her, because she doesnt fully know what will awaken iblis, making her feel the best way to keep the world safe is to do nothing??? sacrificing herself for the worlds sake if you will.) shes been stripped of control her whole life so why would she act differently now?

she cannot be sad. so beneath everything, all of her sadness turns into anger that shes keeping at bay. why her?

i want her to have this unimaginable deeply repressed anger at her father and what he did. and i dont know what it would be, but i want something to act as a catalyst for her finally snapping, and she takes control of her story and chooses to set iblis free. she becomes the monster at her own volition. in "losing control" she finally gains it.

as i said to my best friend: i want a work of fiction where the woman is allowed to go really insane and be grotesque. where theres nothing pretty about her situation at all.

like i said, she strikes me as very lonely, and maybe the genuine bond she gained with sonic and co throughout the game is where her defeat will come from.

after all this isnt nessacarily her its her pain and her anguish. its something thats been mounting for years and years because of everything that happened to her. her whole life she has been her pain, all her actions (and lack thereof) for the sake of everyone else because she is the iblis trigger. but with sonic and everyone, for the first time in her life shes not that, shes elise, their friend. they love her genuinely and they want her to live life on her own terms.

THAT IS THE GENERAL GIST OF WHAT I THINK WOULD BE COOL ! if nothing else i think itd make for a neat au (villain au? though i dont really wanna see her stay a villain i iwant this to be more a metaphor for healing) but YA. im expected the timeline to now warp so this has always been true and everyone goes "wym this was litearlly the whole plot" wish me luck besties <3

[petruchio]

i LOVE ur hunger games opinions - it's my favorite series I always go back to!! I was wondering if you had any other book recommendations

omg!!! angel!!

in terms of young adult recs, i don’t read a huge amount of new ya so these are probably pretty basic, but the ones i would recommend are:

gregor the overlander!!! suzanne collins’ other series, its a little more ~classic ya~ than ya dystopia of the hunger games but still just. so well written bc its the queen suzanne

the entire anne of green gables series <3 literally gilbert and peeta are the two ya love interests that i have been obsessed with my entire life and the books are actually SO good!! there’s a lot i could say about them too like the messages and themes are really quite intelligent and they get written off as just “children’s lit” but they’re truly SO good, even the later ones in the series!!

i’ll recommend six of crows and, i suppose, the original grisha trilogy if you feel like tearing your hair out. ive written a bit about my mixed feelings for that series on my blog but like. the world building is GREAT but the original trilogy just has a few moments that are so deeply frustrating. but its good

howl’s moving castle the book!!!! so iconic, so different from the movie but just also SO good... dianna wynne jones my beloved

this summer id like to reread the golden compass if i have time! i havent read the books since i was a literal child and i remember nothing about them except that they were good but i want to reread it so i can watch the show hehe

i also read last summer a book called why we broke up by daniel handler and i thought it was beautiful and really poignant. it also has amazing illustrations and the story i thought was really well done

i also loved the ingo series as a kid!!!! yes its like. mermaids but also its really well written lol

a few books that aren’t ya:

homegoing by yaa gyasi

there, there by tommy orange

it is my personal (and insanely pretentious) belief that everyone should read les miserables but. thats just because im insane. but i do genuinely love that book 

also the entire jane austen catalogue with special attention to emma <3

normal people because like. yeah (that might be ya actually not sure how to categorize it but. amazing book)

recently i read the plague of doves by louise erdrich and really loved it!! im hoping to read more of her work but she’s an amazing author

i’m also a big fan of modern retellings of stories, last year i read a retelling of pride and prejudice called eligible by curtis sittenfeld that i very much enjoyed

outside of that i also love to read really shitty romance fiction and hyper specific historical non-fiction because i read so many impossible and insanely difficult books for my degree and i just can’t recommend any of those in good faith haha... once i graduate ill honestly probably have better book recs because right now i read so many books i DONT enjoy and write 15 pages essays on why i think they suck... but those are just a few of my favorites!!!!! 

[krewbies]

hi! im desperate for some frenemies to lovers ANGST w my girl asami, honestly wldnt mind it being a korra x asami au, but x fem!reader is just as swell ! also , if its not too much to ask , id rly love some bolin x reader fluff bc i am such a simp for that boy 🥺🥺 the gay agenda™️ is top priority but ,, bolin 🥺🥺🥺🥺

ahhh i decided to go with a high school au cause why not! regarding bolin stuff, there is content to come 👀 i really hope you enjoy, i would’ve done some korrasami but i am honestly SHIT at writing stuff between two canon characters, good characterization is one of my weak points :/ also!!!! warning!!!! major mentionsof death!!!!

•••••

You and Asami always held a sort of.... animosity for each other. There was no reason for the clear cut tension that hung between the two of you, but anyone would be able to notice it.

It’s not like you hated her. It was just, you, Mako, and Bolin had grown up together, you were basically an honorary sibling. When Korra had joined your trio in freshman year it had been enough of an adjustment, but Asami had felt like a tipping point that you just could not handle, ESPECIALLY after the whole love triangle situation that had almost torn the 5 of you apart in sophomore year. High school was shitty enough without shitty romances to go with it.

You guys generally could get along, too. You had a number of classes together, so you walked and chatted back and forth all the time, but thick tension always hung in the air when you did.

It didn’t help that she was disgustingly rich and attractive either. She practically had guys falling at her feet, and it pissed you off to no end. How could you be the only one?

“(Y/N), you’re missing the educational mover!” Your economics teacher, Mr. Varrick, had paused the movie specifically to call you out. You groaned, sliding down in your seat and throwing a hand over your eyes. “Third time this week! Get your act together...” He continued to mumble under his breath. Hell, was that man eccentric. He resumed the action on the screen, and you actually attempted to pay attention this time; this was your only time to learn in this class, after all. Mr. Varrick was an excellent man, but a horrible teacher.

From the seat next to you, the one and only Asami Sato laughed quietly, fiddling with her pen and side eyeing your slumped form. God, even her damn laugh was attractive, that woman was aggravating. Minutes passed and you couldn’t help but stare at the clock.

Mr. Varrick paused the mover and you couldn’t help but panic; he had a thing for calling principal Moon a little bit too often for minor student misdemeanors just so he could talk to her.

“Ms. Sato, can I see you outside?” He then promptly unpaused as Asami stood up. She glanced back at you, making her way up the aisle, and you attempted to give her a reassuring look, despite you low grade hatred for her.

Your teacher slowly and softly shut the door behind him... odd. He was a slam-the-door kind of guy. You rocked your knees back and forth, starting to get nervous for her. Stop. You don’t even care that much...right?

The door opened again, and he held a solemn look at his face. He raised a hand, ushering you over. You swiftly stood up, an odd feeling in your stomach, almost like you felt bad for her (which, you didn’t, obviously). 

It was a blur. Ms. Sato. Office. Father. Died. You froze. This couldn’t be happening, not to her. 

You found yourself wrapping you arms around her, despite her lack of tears. Maybe she was in shock. I mean, what could she do? What could you do? The walk was silent. You felt impossibly heavy as you walked with your arms wrapped around Asami. The fluorescent high school lighting gave you a headache. You couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling. 

She dropped to the floor, taking you with her, right outside the office doors. She let out a silent, breathless sob, choking on her own intense emotion. 

“Asami,” You felt for her, you felt your chest tighten as you watched your ‘frenemy’ lose all her composure, tears ruining her perfect makeup and her hands grasping your arms tightly. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, not for a girl like her, “I’m so sorry, Asami.” You choked out all you could manage.

All she could do was shake her head. All the principal would do was give her stupid, distanced condolences, and then she’d have to go home and face a world of hurt. “Let me take you to my house.” You blurted out. It was all you had to offer her. She nodded without even thinking, wiping her nose on her sleeve and letting you lead her out to your car instead.

You both took a solemn seat. Her silence was lost, forgotten as the car door slammed behind her. She reached her hand over, laying it in your lap, asking for anything. You took it gently, watching her closely, and leaned over cautiously to wrap her up in an awkward hug over the center console.

“Thank you, Y/N. I’m sorry you-” She gasped lightly, burying her head deeper into the crook of your neck. “-you had to see this.” She pulled away slowly, looking at you with a certain tenderness behind her red eyes and broken heart. You weren’t expecting it in the slightest, but she leaned in you, kissing the side of your mouth.

“Asami, are you-”

“No, I- I, you don’t realize how fleeting everything is or how quickly things change, and I... I’m sorry, I had to do that.” You nodded curtly, starting the car. Your chest was still heavy, and your heart still ached for Asami, but you would be lying if you said your heart wasn’t racing for another reason.

~

okay im sorry this is honestly not great. i lowkey wrote this as a comfort fic for myself because my dad died recently and it was nice to write... what i wish my experience had been when i first found out? idk, i know it was depressing. i can write a part 2 if the ‘lovers’ part wasn’t accentuated enough (i know it wasn’t), just let me know!!!