#why would you call your friends testicle???

[just-a-jock]

Doctors appointment

You’ve always hated the doctors office and appointments. Something about waiting around, taking off work early or even entirely just to be told to get some rest always bothered you. After getting your new insurance your friends and family kept pressing for you to get your yearly physical and ended up crumbling to the pressure. You looked online for the first appointment that wouldn’t interior your work and found a 7PM appointment with Dr.Hendrix.

You were happy to find an appointment outside of normal working outs and shocked to even see it was available but you immediately booked it. Cut to today where you are walking into the clinic, Hendrixxx MD. You saw on the sign sounds more like a porn studio than a doctors office. After checking in, the abnormally attractive nurse showed you to the patient room.

As you sat down you looked around the room filled with pictures of insanely buff gay men all partying

“All my patients, aren’t they attractive”

You jump in the chair from being surprised and then turn around and see the attractive 20-something in doctor getup.

“Hi, my name is Dr. Hendrix. I’ll be helping you today” he said we a confidence of a high school jock. He reached out to shake your hand as you see his shirt strain with every movement clear sign of someone who buys their shirt once size too small.

“It’s nice to meet you” you respond shyly as he smirks

“Now let’s see you’re here for your physical…. Okay can you please change out of your clothes and into this” he said rummaging through his drawer until he pulled out a small beige color brief.

“Uh…. What is that. I’m not putting that on” you respond with a bit of worry and shock

“This is standard for any physical preformed in my clinic. I have to inspect your body and skin and I can’t do that with your clothes on. If you don’t want to then we can cancel this appointment but you will be charged the channel fee which is 200% of the service without insurance” he responded smirking almost like he’s said this exact spiel before.

“And how much would that be” you respond

“Well a normal physical here cost $550 per session so you would have to pay $1100.”

You swallow knowing you don’t have enough in your savings to pay that. After sometime you decide what’s the worse that can happen you do have to get a physical anyways and you are already here. You grab the pair from his hand as he smirks watching you walk to the small bathroom in the office.

Inside you start to change out of your clothes and take a glance at the brief before you put it on. The material felt like spandex very similar to the speedos those annoying instagays wear while at the beach. On the top right corner near the groin you noticed the brand name “Jake”. Finally you put the briefs on, feeling the slick Lycra material against your skin especially against your cock making you shiver.

As you walk back in the exam room you see the doctor smile.

“Great, please sit down and we can begin” he said patting on the examination chair

As you sit down on the cold table as Dr. Hendrix looked over your body and going back and forth from his clipboard. He begins touching your body all over specify your biceps, pecs and abs. You were about to say something until…

“So unfortunately you do have a condition called male hypogonadism. Basically your body doesn’t produce enough testosterone.”

You look at him with shock. You have always been healthy and your precious doctors have never mentioned anything about low testosterone.

“ just to confirm I’m going to need to take a look at your testicles” he said

“What? No, why?” You replied in shock and confusion

“Due to your testicles being the center of testosterone production it would give me a better picture”

After taking sometime to ponder you decide to go with it as you wanted to avoid anything bad in the future. You pull down the briefs and let him inspect your private area. You looked at the ceiling trying to avoid eye contact while examined your parts. You felt like he was down there for a while until you felt a sharp pain right in your balls. Quickly looking down your eye widen seeing a needle being struck inside your sack. Inside the syringe was a semi-viscous off-white liquid being slowly pushed inside. Before you’re even able to react the entirety of the needle has been injected into your balls. You finally push back the doctor and fall back onto the chair quickly pulling up the briefs.

“WHAT THE FUCK, what did you put into me” you scream at him as he gets up from the ground with a smirk

“Calm down, I injected you with a testosterone booster to help your body produce more testosterone naturally”

“I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO DO THAT, I’m going to fucking report you to the medical board and get to clinic closed” you said putting your hands on the side of the chair about to get up

“You really can’t make this easy” he replied as he pressed a button underneath his desk. 4 clamps came out of the chair you were sitting at and locked themselves around your wrist and legs. You fight against the restraints but seem to be holding you tighter the more you fought.

“Now that I finally have you settled I can explain to you the procedure. Normally have plenty of guys coming to my office looking for testosterone boosters to help them bulk up but you just wanted a regular check up. Well I couldn’t have someone like you be a regular at my clinic and representing my work so I decided to change you to be more like the others that come out of her”

“ You won’t fucking get away with this freak, let me go!” You shout at him and simultaneously asking for help.

“Oh but I had even a better idea. My clinic finally got access to a trail run of this new medication which is Testosterone replacement therapy and that’s what I inject in you. Basically the medication is mixed with DNA and injected into the subject. Slowly the medication will rewrite the subjects DNA into the provided template. Of course I wanted to try this out first so I decide for you to be my test dummy.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what he is doing to you.

“Haha yes I inject some of my semen inside your testicle and soon the process will start wor…”

“AHHHH” you screamed as he was caught off. You immediately starts to feel a sharp hot heat radiating from your cock and balls. “Fuck fuck what did you do to me” you say with your eyes closed. Your body starts to involuntarily start to buck in the air.

“I guess the show has started” he responds smirking and siting back in his desk chair

With the repeated bucking in the air you start to notice your cock get insanely hard straining against the speedo. Your balls start to pull like they have their own heart beat. Slowly your cock starts to expand past it’s normal hard state creating a noticeable bulge in the speedo, the growing balls behind it don’t help in hiding it either as it continues to push your cock to forefront of the brief creating a perfect outline of your cock. You feel inside your ball changing as if your old cum is being destroyed. Your cum factories are being invaded and being modified to produce a foreigners substance. The pulsing starts to increased as you knew it has finally taken over and has started to produce the new boosted testosterone. The hormones starts to travel through your body ready to modify the rest to the provided template

“Please…. Stop..” you’re able to squirm before the change continue on.

Next your body hair starts to fall out leaving your body smooth like those typical gay fuckboys you see all over the beach. Though you notice certain areas actually increase in volume and of course the typical fetish zones. Your armpit hair starts to puff up becoming dark and noticeable from a far. And lastly you lock down as your pubes starts to climb up like ivy on a wall until they rest just above the briefs taunting anyone looking at your cock.

As your body hair finishes up the hormone start to target the main cause of gay desire, your muscles. Slowly your legs start to inflate growing large and strong like you have been doing squats since your teenage years along with your ass growing outwards and making your seat a little more comfortable. You do notice your hole slightly relax cementing yourself as the perfect verse . Your biceps grow along to match your new legs until they are the size of footballs. Next you feel the changes concentrate on your core as a set of washboard abs start to manifest on the service of your stomach perfectly completing the exposed pubes from before. You even notice them growing a little more upwards to perfect the change. Lastly came the beautiful set of pecs which started to pump outwards matching the pulses of your balls. They finally create a nice shelf over your abs as your nipples darken and start to point outward. The changes to your muscles settle as your body looks identical to the hot doctor in front of you. You open your eyes and look around thinking the changes are over until your balls start to pulsate once again. The sensation travels up your body until your head feels a massive pressure. Slowly your bone structure starts to morph mimicking that of the doctors. Your lips plump outwards ready to introduce every and all cocks it can find. Your cheekbones move upwards giving you a sharp face and a semi permanent smile. All the fat melts away from your neck leaving behind a jawline that can cut glass and a prominent adams apple. The changes settle thinking the last of it has happened and pleading to the doctor to change you back.

“Please please, I don’t want this. I want to be me” you beg of him

“Oh don’t worry, you’re going to love your life after a while and you won’t even remember your old one” he said pressing another button as the restraints pull you down forcing you to lay backside to the chair as you stair at the ceiling. You hear him opening his drawer again and rummaging around until he starts to walk over to you.

“Now this is the final step before you become the perfect clone” he said placing a pair of oil spill colored glasses. You scream as he slowly places the glass onto your face until they sit perfect. You immediately quiet down as he smirks know it’s working.

Your eyes are forced open as inside the glasses start to display videos of memories foreign to you. All you can do is grunt trying to fight back from these new memories forcing them selfs inside your brain replacing your old. Your mind is completely enthralled and you almost don’t notice the doctor has pulled down your speedo and whispers something under his breath

This will help the reprogramming along. He places something over his….. your cock. You start to freak out knowing the reprogramming has started to take effect your mind not being able to between him and yourself. As he ticks the speedo back into place you notice this foreign object get right around the base of your cock and slowly start to buzz creating an orgasmic feeling making your mind even weaker and more susceptible to the brainwashing.

Your mouth opens as the video starts to play more explicit images and videos. Guys fucking, partying, doing drugs everything typical of a circuit party gay. The buzzing gets even stronger during these parts causing you to moan. Soon your cock starts to produce precum creating a large wet spot at the front of the cream colored brief. Finally with the last of the programming finishing up you finally see

CUM

With that your body shakes as your cock shoots loads of your old cum all over the inside of your speedo which is quickly soaked up. The doctor finally releases you from the restraints as your body gets up you realize you can still hear, feel and see everything but your body does not respond to your thoughts.

“It worked perfectly. You’re a 1 to 1 replica of myself. Now the technology of the reprogramming is still in being worked on so I’ll need you to keep the glasses on for now. Understood”

“yes” your body responds in a foreign voice and against your will

“Great, now here are my keys and I booked you.. I mean me a flight to Hawaii. I’m going to need you to post content on our profile and make sure to tell guys about our clinic. Now enjoy”

Your body leaves the room still in your speedo. The nurse at the front smirks knowing what just happened.

.

.

.

A few weeks later you are staying at a resort working out in the complimentary outdoor gym. You noticed some guy keeps looking at you throughout your workout. He finally comes up to you while you’re working on the dumbbells

“Wow you’re built as hell bro. Got any tips?” He asked

“Haha come to my room and I can show you” I replied smirking as he got the hint.

[lesbiandanhowell]

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil Get a Dog, Change Careers and Buy a House

- I literally got the notif AGAIN while on the call with my mum, their timing is horrendous.

- Ohhh the pessimistic yapping IMMEDIATLY is so very Dan, I missed his stupid face.

- YOU CAN TASTE THINGS WITH YOUR TESTICLES WHAT

- Their description of the game gives so much insight into how they view life and it is amazing, like Dan the 'capitalism ruins everything and life sucks' while Phil is very happy go lucky.

- Not NordVPN? I am surprised how they are able to pull such competitive sponsors for one channel.

- Phil using Dan's number for stuff where he might have to talk to people is SO VERY ME, I too use my friends numbers, often.

- Why is the fantasy Castle trans friendly how why is this gender

- PHIL BEING GAY HELL YES

- "Coworkers to lovers" I am not saying anything but you know I am thinking it...

- "Or maybe its a pink he" "What's their name?" FUCKED ME UP because the gender talk in these videos is beyond anything any other videos have ever given us.

- Pink Pantheress is s good taste choice thank you Dan.

- PASSANGER PRINCESS PHIL LESTER

- Dan is so fucking sassy and upset with Phil doing better it is adorable. (Phil wasn't even doing better, Dan was just being dramatic as always)

- "Did he ever fight? No I think he just looked pretty on a horse" the whole rant tho >>>>>

- "#NotMyKing" speaks for itself

- GET THE ALPACA WHO WOULDN'T WANT AN ALPACA

- Dan is being so passive aggressive despite winning, like he was leading all three categories and had more money and yet he was being whiny.

- "Would you ever go on a cruise?" "I feel like if we'd..." there is no world in which Dan goes on vacation without Phil, got it.

- "Stop nippeling" PLEASE LORD SHUT UP

- OH MY GOD THEY ARE SO CLOSE IN RESULTS

- They are so fond of each other it makes them look ridiculous.

Appreciate the new video but I don't want more, I want more It Takes Two PLEASE because it was the best series and they had so much fun and we had so much fun and they can be married to each other in that one. Thanks.

[momma-pixel]

I Must Speak But Don't Have The Words

[TW: Suicide] When: 1988 Where: Playground, Kindergarten Situation: Little Me strongly and firmly believes that if I antagonize the girls and make them chase me then when I get caught they'll turn me into a girl like them as punishment. Apparently boys will be boys.

When: 1989-1994 Where: My bed, every night / Home Situation #1: I prayed to god every night to let me wake up as a girl. Situation #2: Caught wearing my sister's panties a few times, said it was because I couldn't find my own underwear. Situation #3: Constantly asked to help with yard work, would prefer to help in the house. Told that's women's work, what are you a girl, stop being lazy.

When: 1993-1995 Where: Home / Hospital Situation: General moodiness and angst, aches and pains. Breasts and hips are forming. Why parents? You're fat (I wasn't). Get confused for a girl out in public, parents force me to cut my hair and go on a strict diet. Doctor says I only have one testicle but also wants to run chromosome and hormone tests. Parents balk at cost. Surgery to find a missing testicle. I prayed to god, for the last time, to have the doctors turn me into a girl. They find a testicle slightly smaller than a marble, it's atrophied.

When: 1996 - 2000 Where: High School / Home Situation #1: Fell in with the punk and goth crowd. Had friends. Learned about the world at large thanks to them (and this new thing called the internet!). Discovered I was Bisexual. Learned the term 'transsexual'. Boom, head blown. Female bestie opens her arms, heart, and closet doors to me. Wearing black lipstick, black nail polish, eyeliner. Parents hate me. Wanted my ears pierced, dad said it was for girls and fags. In an argument about something dumb my mom calls me a cocksucker - I quipped that at least I was getting dick, flipped my hair, and walked away...we didn't speak to each other for a month. Situation #2: Attempted suicide twice. Both attempts failed right before they would have succeeded thanks to some spectacular reverse-final destination shit. Parents blamed my friends, my books, and anything else they could. Boyfriend jokes it's because god is scared of me after ignoring my prayers for so long and needs time to come up with an alibi.

When: 2001 - 2005 Where: Therapist's Office Situation #1: Asperger Syndrome (to be changed much later to Autism), Depression, Transsexualism. Do this thing called a Real Life test. Standards too rigid, too high, failed test. Situation #2: Final suicide attempt. Lots of counseling, meds, and restrictions.

When: 2010 - Present Where: New State of Being/Mind/Residence Situation: Grabbed life by the gooch and made it my bitch. Found new therapist, learned about myself more, began fixing myself, started a proper transition.

I never knew the words needed to express my mental anguish and emotional turmoil. They were concepts in my mind colored with prismatic abstract thoughts. My world was a tiny box with the only things allowed in governed by my parents. I wanted so badly to say to someone, anyone, that I was in pain and needed help but didn't know how. Even today I still have trouble putting words to thoughts - as an example, this post alone has already taken an hour to write.

For any of you out there struggling to talk about your changes, your transitions, your mental state of you, take this advice - there are words out there for you! Take your time to craft them as purposely and gently as possible. Some people will kick up at them and try to break them, but they are your words and you made them. They can't be broken, they can't be sullied or tainted. Those words were crafted by hand with love (for yourself) and perseverance (for a better tomorrow) by the best craftsmen in the world: You.

[jerzwriter]

BOOPED!

Carolina's phone would not stop "bleeping"! But when a friend helps her get to the bottom of it, she and Trystan are in for some startling discoveries about each other.

Book Boop: Crimes of Passion (post Book 2) Pairing: Trystan Thorne x Carolina Rose (F!MC) Characters: Luke Watanabe Summary: See above Rating: Teen Words: 2.150 A/N: All right, so I may have been a total party-pooper with the "boops," but that got me thinking how my OTPs would have handled them... and that led me here! I hope you enjoy it! Participating in @choicesaprilchallenge24 - prompt - "You're not going to believe what I just found."

*Bleep*

*Bleep*

*Bleep*

The utter silence of the Ginovesi Detective Agency’s offices was rattled each time Carolina’s phone “bleeped.” Trystan eyed the phone warily, glancing between it and Carolina every time it went off. For a woman who demanded complete silence when they were focusing on a case, she was doing her best to ignore it, but Trystan knew it was only a matter of time...

“¡Ay, Dios mío!” she cried out... and there it was. “¿Qué carajo es esto?”

Taking the phone in hand, she frantically tapped away at it, but the bleeps kept pouring in, and with each new arrival, Trystan watched as his girlfriend became more unhinged. “¿Qué es esta mierda?”

That’s when Luke entered the mix. Slinking into the office with his hands nonchalantly stuffed in his pockets, he slouched into a chair with a half smile.  

“Oh no. I heard nothing but Spanish coming out of you from way down the hall. This can’t be good.”

“It’s not!” Carolina spat as Trystan debated whether her frustration was utterly adorable or good cause for him to evacuate the office as quickly as possible. “I can’t get this fucking thing to stop bleeping!”

There were many things Trystan could have said or done, but as was often the case for the former prince, he reclined in his chair and chose chaos.

“It seems one of her former suitors isn’t taking the hint and won’t let go easily,” he smirked. “While I may no longer be a monarch, I still have some pull. One phone call to Lydea, my love, and I will have that man relieved of his testicles. Give me a name and number,” he winked. “I assure you, the bleeps will stop within the hour.”

Carolina glared at him with anger in her eyes, but despite her desire to remain cross, his stupid grin managed to do her in.

“Bold of you to assume it’s a he, your highness,” she derided. “There is a far greater likelihood that it would be a she. So, someone will be deprived the pleasure of performing an orchiectomy today.”

“An orchiectomy...” Luke queried, pulling up Google on his phone, but Trystan pushed it aside.

“Spare yourself the pain, man. It’s the art of relieving someone of their balls.”

“Ouch!” Luke shuddered. “Of course, I can see how the inability to do that would cause some Drakovian guard to fall into a deep depression, but still... ouch."

Trystan turned back to Carolina with a shrug. “It’s OK, love. They can remove body parts from women as well.”

“That’s so good to know,” she laughed. “But I’m afraid this isn’t as salacious as a spurned lover trying to get me to bend to their will.”

“Then what is it?” Trystan asked. “Your phone’s been going off all day, and I’ve never heard that notification tone before.”

“It’s,” she began, stopping herself as four curious eyes stared at her, eager for a response. “It’s... nothing. I’ll just turn the sound off my phone.”

“GASP!” Luke mocked. “During work hours! When you could potentially miss... something?”

It would have ended there for Luke, but Trystan wasn't done. Realizing something was amiss, he closely watched his love, not about to let her off the hook.

“Why don’t you just turn notifications off? What’s so embarrassing? Is it... Facebook?” he chuckled.

Carolina was an animal entrapped in a corner, desperate for an escape, but when it became clear that none existed, she surrendered. Burying her face into her hands with a languid groan... she confessed.

“I freaking wish! It’s .... worse!”

“Worse than Facebook?” Luke said with feigned horror. “What is it? Your old OKCupid app?”

“No!” Carolina said, throwing a pencil his way.

“Your old FarmersOnly account!!!”

“What?” Trystan snickered.

“I didn’t have a FarmersOnly account! Well, I did... but it was just a joke to frighten Uncle Tommy! Besides, I deleted that long ago!”

Trystan turned to Luke in confusion. “What... what’s FarmersOnly?”

“That’s unimportant, “Carolina interrupted. “It’s... it’s my Tumblr. I haven’t used it for longer than I can remember; I didn't even know it was still on my phone. But I’ve gotten like seven hundred notifications today, and I have no idea why!”

“So,” Luke shrugged. “Turn the notifications off.”

“I can’t! I forgot my password... and before you say it, I don’t remember what e-mail I created the account with. So I can’t reset it.”

“So,” Luke shrugged again. “Just delete the app! Problem solved.”

“But the detective in me needs to figure this out," she sighed. "Who knows why this is happening? When I go home tonight, I’ll try to remember what e-mail accounts I had circa 2016. Maybe I can figure it out.”

“It was probably something like myglitteringlittlenyyankeepony@ yahoo.com or something like that,” Luke laughed.

“More like LinaJeterClubPengin@hotmail.com,” she tittered.

“Dear Lord,” Trystan groused. "Both sound dreadful, but can we circle back to something potentially even more embarrassing? You had a Tumblr account?”

“Oh, shut up!” Carolina defended. “It was 2016! All the cool kids had a Tumblr account!”

“I didn’t,” Luke announced.

“I said cool,” Carolina retorted. Still, Trystan was undeterred.

“What on earth did you use your Tumblr account for? Were you in a fandom?”

He had intended to let it go, but when Carolina’s cheeks turned brighter than any apple he ever witnessed in a Cordonian orchard, he knew the quest was just beginning. Raising a brow in wicked delight, he teased. “Yesssss....”

“I was into Divergent,” she said, raising her hands. “Big fan... The Hunger Games, too.”

“All right,” Trystan nodded with a smile. “I can see that....”

But now it was Luke’s turn to incite, “Really? Because I could have sworn you once told me you used to write fanfiction for Princess Di.....”

“Obviously, you’re mistaken!” Carolina shouted. “Katniss! Katniss x Peeta, my OTP! That’s why I was on Tumblr!”

“Wait,” Trystan interrupted. “Princess Di? Were you into Princess Diana?”

“No,” Carolina spat. “Luke is just losing his mind, that’s all!”

“Oh, come now, princess,” Luke chided. “Is this the foundation you want to build your relationship on? A throne of lies?”  

“No,” Trystan smiled gleefully. “Thrones of lies are bad. Very bad."

“I believe they are,” Luke chuckled. "I'm sorry, Carolina. It’s confession time.”

Trystan slunk over to Carolina’s side, playfully nudging her with his shoulder. “Time’s up, dear. Tell me the truth, or I’ll have to employ ancient Drakovian torture measures to get you to speak!"

“Yeah! And not the kinky ones you’re into!” Luke grinned.

“Fine,” Carolina exhaled with disgust, her voice barely a whisper. “I was very into... The Princess Diaries."

Trystan’s lips began to curl, the dimple in his cheek becoming more pronounced. “I’m sorry... what?”

“The Princess Diaries! OK!! I used to love The Princess Diaries!”

“In 2016!” Luke scoffed. “Weren’t those movies popular in like... 2004?”  

"So?! I was a little behind the times. I was a nerd... so sue me! My Tumblr was all about The Princess Diaries... are you satisfied now?” She asked, hiding her face in shame.

Trystan rubbed his chin in delight as he allowed Carolina to sweat it out, thinking of the best way to torture his prey.  

“The Princess Diaries! This all makes so much sense now!”

“What?” Luke wondered aloud. “That she always had a soft spot for monarchy scum?”

“Well, yes,” Trystan responded. “ But, seriously... how long did you have these fantasies about being a long-lost princess, my dear?”

“What! Never! I’m a Boricua from the Bronx! A freaking badass, bisexual Boricua from the Bronx! Being a princess was nothing I aspired to!”

“Yet you were writing Princess Diaries fanfic?” Trystan tsked. “Then... you relentlessly pursued me.”

Horrified, she slammed her hand on the desk. “I DID NOT!!! You know I didn’t!”

“I’m not sure what to believe anymore, Carolina. Right now, I’m feeling sort of cheap and used.”

Luke howled with laughter. “In fairness, there’s nothing cheap about you, Trystan. Used? Sure, I can see that. But cheap? No way.”

“Thank you, Luke,”  Trystan acknowledged.

“Don’t mention it.”

But Carolina wasn't smiling. “I never had some monarchy fetish! I just liked the stupid movie! It was escapism for me, OK? But you know damn well you being a royal was a detriment to me, not a bonus! I wasn’t all, ‘Oh, now I need to land this guy!’ you know that!”

“I can't be sure anymore. I think I have to have this investigated to make sure your intentions with me are pure!”

“You know that’s not a bad idea,” Luke nodded as he typed away on his laptop. “I do know of a good agency that could help you.”

“LUKE!” Carolina yelled, so flustered that she hadn’t noticed her phone stopped bleeping several minutes before.

“Relax... princess...” Luke teased. “I just hacked into your Tumblr. The bleeping should stop now.

“But... how?” She asked, immediately catching his sarcastic stare. “Yeah, don’t bother answering that.”

Trystan stood over her shoulder as she opened the app. “700 notifications? Seriously, why the hell did I get all these notifications today?”

“It looks like they were having some kind of a “boop” thing for April Fools? I guess it’s like the old Facebook poke? Everyone seems to be sending boops.”  

“But why?” Carolina asked, dumbfounded. "Don't people have better things to do with their time?"

“Look,” Luke chirped. “I'm capable of doing a great many things, but making sense out of anything that happens on Tumblr.... that’s asking too much...even of me.”

“True,” Carolina mumbled. 

“He makes sense,” Trystan nodded in agreement. “Now, let’s read some of your old fanfic.”

“Oh, hell no!” Carolina insisted. “There’s no way!”

“Please?” Trystan begged, with puppy-dog eyes in full effect.

“All right, fine! But only on one condition!”

“Name it!”

“You show me your old Tumblr... and don’t lie and tell me you didn’t have one. We both know you did.”

“Sorry, my love,” Trystan shrugged. “But I didn’t.”

The couple turned to Luke when he sighed again. “Do you really want to start this relationship sitting on a throne of lies, Trystan? Or should I call you PlayfulPrince315.  Dude! Using your actual birthday? I know you were a tween then, but still, you should have known better!”  

“Playful... Prince?” Carolina beamed. “OK, Mr. Playful, what were you doing on Tumblr?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” he winked. “I was searching for beautiful want-to-be princesses from the Bronx.”  

“Nah,” Luke laughed. “Minecraft. He was into Minecraft.”

“Really?” Trystan asked, dragging a hand down his face.

“Hey, I outed Carolina, and she’s my best friend. You knew you weren’t safe.”

“Minecraft?” Carolina said with mock disgust. “Tell me it wasn’t Minecraft porn... please?”

“WHAT?" Trystan asked in shock. "Was that even a thing?”

“Sadly, it was,” Carolina laughed. “I’m sorry, but I need to know if you were into that. I don’t care how long ago it was; I am not marrying any man who once got off to Minecraft porn.”

A devilish grin slowly spread on Trystan’s face as he stepped confidently toward Carolina.

“Marry... you say?” His grin miraculously grew wider. “Have you been thinking about marrying me, Carolina?”

“I... uh, I...” she couldn't have been more grateful for Luke jumping out of his seat.

“Well, I think I’ll leave you two alone. You can handle this conversation without me.”

He headed toward the door, but not before handing Trystan a scrap of paper. “Here, this is your Tumblr password, Playful Prince. You two can figure out your weird pasts alone.”

“Oh, like you didn’t have weird things in your past!” Carolina yelled after him.

“At least they aren't archived for prosperity on Tumblr,” Luke grinned. “And I’m relieved to say it doesn’t look like Ruby has to deal with that, either. But I can’t wait to tell her about the two of yours.”

Luke whistled as he exited, turning one more time before shutting the door. “Oh, and Playful one? You got 200 fewer boops than Carolina... and you’re royalty, man? Embarrassing! Just... embarrassing! I don't think she should consider marrying you!"

Trystan turned to his blushing girlfriend. "So, back to that marrying thing.... how often does that cross your mind?"

"Uh, you know what," she said, reaching up for a soft but passionate kiss. "Why don't I tell you all about FarmersOnly instead."

"Uninterested," he beamed.

"All right," she said, pulling out her phone. "Then let's say I allow you to read 3,500 words of angst I wrote about Princess Mia and Prince Harry circa 2016?"

Trystan's eyes lit up. "Seriously?"

"Here," she said, handing him her phone. "Go through my whole masterlist. By the time you're done... you'll forget anything else."

Trystan slunk back into the chair, tossing his feet on the desk for comfort. "Don't count on it," he winked. "Don't count on that... at all."

@choicesficwriterscreations

Tagging others separately.

[x-stephanie-sinnz-x]

PIZZA, PUSSY & PASSION with Quincy (fwb)

On Monday I went to my fwb's apartment for lunch.

So far it's turning into a normal thing.

I arrived at his apartment just as the pizza delivery guy was leaving. My friend with benefits greeted me at the door and we got straight into it. 

We made out on the way to the bedroom, stripped off our clothes and got into his bed.

Wasn't much talk nor foreplay. He licked my pussy and I sucked his dick just to get each other primed.

He fucked me missionary and I came at least 3 time before he finished inside me.

Afterwords we had pizza and I went back to work.

I'm really enjoying these regular lunch visits, but that Monday was nothing really to write about.

But......yesterday I think you guys would like to hear more about.

So, yesterday I skipped my lunch because I've been needing to catch up on work.

The good thing is that I worked so fast and steady I not only caught up, I actually was ahead .

So feeling a bit guilty and a little deprived I messaged my fwb, (let's finally call him Quincy).

I messaged him to see if it was a good time.

I ended up sneaky out of the office earlier and paid him a visit.

As soon as I arrived at his place I pressed him against the wall and pulled his T-shirt off, admiring his body.  I pressed against him, feeling his cock like a giant pipe beneath his pants as I pressed my body against his.

“What are we doing?” He asked.

"What's it look like we are doing." I replied.

"Not what I ment" he said.

We got into talking and he wanted to know where this relationship was going, how I'm married, does my husband know,etc.

I didn't think our relationship needed clarification, seeing how this seemed pretty obvious.

  I've been doing my best not to bring up my husband's and my lifestyle, so I kept it as plain and simple as I could.

I explained that my husband let's me mess around, and also likes it and encourages it.

"But why me,"he asked.

“I don’t know, there's something about you," while running my hand between his pecks, “your perfect and I like it.” I replied.

“Its been a while since a woman called me perfect.” He stated.

“fuck me,” I whispered.

“I’m not rich or anything? Why me?” He asked.

“Because I like you, genius.”

Before he could say another word, I slid down and pulled his pants down along with his underwear. A beauty of a cock fell out before me, its tip glinting with precum. His ball sack hung down, swollen as if stung by a bee. I looked up at him, as he gazed down at me. With our eyes locked I stuck out my tongue and licked the tip of his cock. He jolted. Then I slipped my mouth over it. The salty taste erupted over my tongue, as his head slid down into the back of my throat.

I caressed his cock with my tongue as I slid his head to the point of gaging at the back of my throat. My hand came up and gripped his cock. I slid up and down. He gasped and sputtered above me. His hand fell onto my shoulder, caressing my neck, as his cock thrust forward, causing my throat to clench around his head. His moans along with his slight protest "b bu but you're married", sent a wave of desire pouring into me.I slid my free hand around his testicles. The wrinkled skin was rough in my hand as I gently separated his testicles with my thumb and forefinger, and gently massaged one of the swollen football shaped jewels between my fingers. He grumbled and sputtered as his hand slid onto my head.

“Oh my god,” He gasped out loud.

I sucked on his cock, it was warm and hot in my mouth, it filled me. I wanted the salty surprise at the end, I wanted his batter inside me. I wanted to drink the fluids of his fountain. I sped up my hand, stroking his dick and slid his head down my throat, gaging on the swollen head of his mighty cock.

“Wait!” He gasped, “Wait!”

I slid my mouth off him, “Yeah.” I said through breaths.

“You’re so fuckin good,” He said looking down on me, “I don’t want to cum yet", and he was close.

“Its okay,” then I stood up.

His hands touched me, running down my spine, tickling my skin. It found its place around my ass, cupping my cheek gently, pulling me towards him. I felt his dick, moist with the liquid precum I had drawn from its tip, touch my stomach. A hand slipped through my hair as I was pulled into an embrace, feeling his rock-hard dick throbbing against my skin, a hot wet pipe threatening to explode between us.

“I have terrible fantasies,” He whispered as he pushed his nose into the top of my head, sliding a hand down my back, “I wante you so much – but I hate myself for it.”

“Don’t, it’s all right.”

“We can’t undo this.” I felt his hand touch my breast, his thumb tracing nipple.

“I would never want to break you guys up.” He said.

I remained silent, but thought to myself 'not going to happen'.

I also thought, 'this guy is kinda cocky to think such a thing', but that's kinda what I liked about him.

I pulled his hand from my ass and stepped back, pulling my buttons apart. My skirt fell to the ground exposing me, entirely to his site. My stomach already glinted in the light, as his precum reflected the light from it. He stepped towards me and I towards him. He grabbed my leg and lifted me from the ground.His cock tantalized my entrance, as I wrapped my legs around him. His head pushed at my moist lips that dripped with juices of my soul. I let out a gasp. We spun around, my back pressed against the wall, the picture hanging above tipped off and fell to the ground. Neither of us cared. Then he entered me.

Like a pulsating lion, his cock penetrated me, pushing my pussy aside to make way for his girth, filling me with hot, thick flesh and blood. I let out a cry. Fuck! The head of his cock sucked on my insides with every withdrawal and plunged into me with every thrust. His lips caressed my nipples – stimulating them. They ached with rigid tension, as his mouth closed around one, my back plastered against the wall. I screamed. Every sensation in my body opened. Every thrust brought waves of pleasure and warmth filling me.

I open my mouth to swear to the lord, but only a cry escaped. My moans hasten his pace – oh please don’t stop! FUCK THIS CHEATING WIFE! God! The curses spilled from my lips between the moans his cock forced from my lips. Every moment he was in me was one of bliss. I pushed my hand against the wall, while my other clung to his shoulder, his hands were wrapped around my back, holding me above his thrusting cock.

His paced quickened again. He began to grunt. I could feel the tip of his cock swell inside me, filling my pussy as the sound of my juice slurping his cock echoed. Fuck yes! I thought as he pounded away harder, groaning.

“Shit!” He gasped.Then his cock erupted inside me. Cum exploded into my married cunt, filling me with warmth. He thrust again, crying out, pressing me against the wall. I screamed as his cock exploded again, jumping around inside of me. Each rope of cum ejected into me. He gasped again and thrust. I could feel the mix of his semen and my juice drip down my leg, as he pushed his shrinking head into me one more time. There, against that wall, in the living room, he filled me to the brim. Cum dripping from my pussy like honey from a beehive.

“Fuck!,” He whispered.

Stephanie Sinnz 💋

[fandomsfanatic]

Close call

Valentines day had finally come and Wednesday was stuck being pulled behind Enid in the cold snow as a 'date'.

She couldn't find it in her to complain though, her girlfriend was cute, and her hand was warm. She didn't even mind the stupid little puns Enid would blurt out. Even if she was stuck holding the bags Enid had obtained shopping, even if she was forced to wear the stupid looking snood, and even if they were on a school forced vacation and were back in Wednesday's dreaded hometown. She was so happy and warm inside, she almost smiled!

"Wens can we go in and buy hot chocolate? It's cold and I'm tired." Enid half heartedly asked, pulling them to the nearest cafe without waiting for an answer.

Enid hurried to grab a booth, and left Wednesday to take their orders.

As the batista hurried to get her order, she walked back to the booth Enid had chose , and watched as her peppy girlfriend went through her shopping bags.

When Enid pulled out black glitter, glue and a headband with two red springy hearts on it, Wednesday cursed internally.

"Look Wednesday! You know that craft store we stopped by, look what I found!" Enid squealed and waved the headband around.

Wednesday snatched the headband out of Enid's hand and took the glitter aswell, ignoring the offended gasp that followed.

"Wednesday I know you hate these hearts but you will wear them just for me right?" Enid questioned, and batted her eyelashes like a cartoon character. "I know you don't want to wear them but you didn't have to take them from me."

"I simply was preventing glitter to get on your hands and later on the pastries I so generously purchased for you, But if you want to consume dark sparkly shreds then who am I to stop you." Wednesday placed

Enid huffed at Wednesday's answer and turned her attention the incoming hot chocolate and cookies. The familiar batista from earlier harshly placed the drinks and a paper bag on the table, and when Wednesday looked at his face she nearly blew up in laughter.

"Well thank you for than unnecessary show of aggressiveness Dalton. However if any of the pastries were damaged before consumption due to the lack of productivity from the staff, I am indeed allowed to ask for a free replacement. As stated on the menu of course." Wednesday smirked and took her quad before he could damage it.

"Whatever freak.." He continued to glare, as if waiting for her to challenge him.

"Wait Wednesday you know this normie?" Enid asked as she looked confusedly from Wednesday to Dalton.

"Why yes. Not long before I entered nevermore, I had ventured and succeeded in an act of revenge that caused Dalten here to loose a testicle" Wednesday said and took the bag to steal a cookie.

"Woah! Your the reason Wednesday came to nevermore?! I gotta take a selfie for my blog! Dude your like famous at our school" Enid hopped up and pulled Dalton closer to her, snapping a picture before sitting back down. "Jeez this is so amazing!"

Dalton dramatically flopped to the floor gathering the attention of the few people who were in the Cafe. "Get your freakishly ugly friend away from me! Jeez only Pigsly would hang out with someone as scarred and ugly as her. Your both freaks!" Dalted screeched as he scrambled up.

Enid stopped her typing on her phone to look at the boy, who had finally succeeded in standing up. "You think I'm ugly?" Enid asked, it was no secret that Enid was very insecure of the scars that littered her face, but even she couldn't stop Wednesday from hurting people when they insulted somebody close to her.

So when Dalton opened his mouth to reply Enid scrambled to grab their bags. "OkayThanksForTheDrinksWouldLoveToStayAndChatButWednesdayWouldProbsKillYouOkayThanksAgainBye!!" Enid took Wednesday's hand and pulled her out of the Cafe quickly. When they were two shops down, Enid released her hand and started panting harshly.

"That was very irresponsible of you to hold me back. I am perfectly capable of beating Dalton for tarnishing your honor" Wednesday said and pat Enids head.

"As much as that sounds cute coming from you, I'd rather not get introuble at all on our valentines date. Can you please wait a few days before defending my 'honor' Wednesday?" Enid said as she gave Wednesday her puppy eyes, as tired and sweaty she was from that sonic sprint.

Wednesday stared at her silently, and for a second Enid feared she would ignore her and March right in there, ready to stab Dalton with one of her hidden knives.

"Fine, but now it's my turn to choose where we are going" Wednesday said, taking Enids hand and tugging her away from all the shops.

Enid swears that she saw the goth smiling just as she turned away to lead them.

[self-loving-vampire]

Just for fun, I decided to take the COGIATI test and see how bad it is.

My first conclusion is that my definition of "fun" is rather masochistic at times, and I don't expect other people to find this post that entertaining either. Still...

Question 1 is already so much.

"Describe your relationship with mathematics."

"Girl Math" nonsense coming right out the gate, apparently.

"You are at a meeting. Everyone at the meeting is the same sex as you. The leader of the meeting announces that it's time for hugs all around! How do you feel about this?"

I don't know why they have to specify the sex of the other people here. I don't like being touched either way. There isn't really an option that really expresses how much I don't want people to touch me. At most I can just say it's unnecessary.

"As a child, when you played with close friends, how would you describe the type of play you liked to be a part of the most?"

You know this is a boomer test because "video games" is not an option.

"Which choice most closely describes why you dress up 'en femme', as a woman."

All of the potential answers to this question are on a spectrum between "it is sexual to me" and "it just makes me feel better". There is no option for "I don't actually do this."

And like... there's also cis women who don't dress up like that very often if at all, or who feel nothing about it. Even a vaguely GNC cis woman could very easily take this test and get labeled as a man somehow.

Anyway, I don't actually know what to choose here because this time no answer even approximates how I feel. Normally I would just drop the test upon reaching a point like this but I feel inclined to dig deeper so I'll pick a mild "makes me feel better" sort of answer and continue.

"You are parking your car. You must reverse into a somewhat narrow space to park. What do you do?"

I don't drive. There is no option for people who don't drive. You could take all of the insane trad stereotypes out of this test and it would still be bad just because it regularly forgets rather common types of people exist.

"You are about the age of 14. You have to take a test, but you can chose which test to take. Getting a good grade will result in a big reward. Which test would you choose to take, if you had a week to study first?"

Really not a fan of how much of this test is "men are intellectual and do math and science while women are emotional and do literature and history".

"Your penis and testicles are destroyed, perhaps due to an accident or injury, but they are gone forever. You are otherwise the same as now, but you are utterly without your reproductive organs, just smooth, flat flesh. What is the most realistic statement of how you would deal with this?"

Does the person that made this test realize that what seems to be the most popular kind of SRS repurposes those bits and therefore losing them would also prevent further modification later? Pretty sure most trans people who understand that and have a sufficiently long time horizon would not wish for this to happen even if they don't enjoy having the thing.

But instead I'm getting the impression that the "True Trans" answer as evaluated by the test is to cheer at this.

"You are in a restaurant with some friends. It is moderately noisy, but not loud. A song you know comes over the loudspeakers, but done in Muzak (tm) style, often called "elevator music". Would you recognize the song instantly?"

Honestly if the kind of music I like played in a restaurant, even as elevator music, I would be completely shocked.

"Suddenly the entire world is magically changed. Now you exist in a world utterly devoid of gender. All bodies are hermaphroditic, utterly androgynous in appearance, both male and female at the same time. The culture reflects this, as does all human interaction. You, however, are still yourself inside, with all of your memories of living in our world as it is now. Your feelings are intact, only your flesh has been changed. In this new world, everyone dresses, acts, and lives however they feel at the time, and there is no such thing as being male or being female. You alone remember the world of gender. In such a world, would you still need to dress like a woman?"

Starts as an actually interesting premise for a question but then the actual question is "would you still dress like a woman"? I already don't do that. I already dress how I want so going there would not change anything.

"A doctor offers you a painless, absolutely effective means to be completely masculine. All feminine desires and traits would be eliminated, and you would be happy and content to be a man. You would never need to dress, and you would never want to be feminine in any way again. You are assured that after the treatment you would be completely content. Would you take the treatment?"

You don't get it. I don't think either extreme of gendered behavior is in line with most people's true feelings to begin with. Most men who are safe to express themselves do in fact have at least some "feminine" traits. These categories are made up and especially bad when used to prescribe how one should behave.

Furthermore, sufficiently radical and sudden personality changes are kind of like dying and being replaced by someone else who is just using the same body. This is why I wouldn't cure myself of autism too.

I think even men, cis or trans, have reasons to be wary of this treatment.

"When you look at a person's face, how well can you honestly judge what they are feeling?"

I should note that reading and pattern-matching expressions is not actually the same thing as feeling affective empathy. Anyone could learn to do it with practice and memory.

But also I feel like pointing out that trying to make unlikely claims based on things like expressions and body language is extremely dubious and a lot of people end up just imagining how the other person feels and assuming it to be true even though it isn't. It's often best not to make assumptions like that.

"You are having an erection. How do you feel?"

At this point? It should not even be possible.

"It is grade school. The teacher gives you a gold star on your work for excellence. What is it for? I knew how to multiply. The teacher thought I wrote the best poem. I got my addition right. I had perfect spelling with no mistakes. I knew the name of the capitol."

You may live in a strange world in which math is for boys and spelling is for girls, but I live in a story in which I am the mary sue protagonist and am good at anything I try. I could be getting the award for any subject I wanted except maybe the poetry because I don't have any interest trying to do that.

"There is a voice mail on your machine. The person does not leave a name, they seem to expect you to know them. How easy is it for you to remember who called by the sound of their voice?"

There was a similar question earlier but I really have to say: Even if you don't recognize someone's voice the context of what they are saying would give it away quickly enough that the question is not very realistic.

Especially since I just don't expect calls for anything I have not previously scheduled.

"A stranger is happy at meeting you. He wants to give you a hug. How do you honestly feel about this?"

Did there really have to be two questions about getting hugged by strange people? Are women really supposed to enjoy that kind of thing? The way a lot of the ones on tumblr talk I figured at least some would be outright paranoid or at least very uncomfortable about the idea.

Anyway, I got rated as "65, androgynous". This is not surprising to me considering how heavily this whole thing relies on traditional gender roles that do not go well with my autism at all.

The conclusions drawn from this, however, are especially stupid.

"As an androgynous being, both genders, and both sexes are natural to your expression."

This is true of practically everyone in the world. It's why conservatives and hyper-conformists in general need to punish and indoctrinate people into obeying that shit. If gender roles were as natural as they say it would not be necessary to enforce them and train people into them.

"Permanent polarization in either direction might bring significant unhappiness. It is not recommended that you go through a complete transsexual transformation."

Oops. I already did that and it worked great. It turns out that you can be trans and not want to be some kind of motherly bimbo who dresses exclusively in pink dresses with heavy makeup. There's a whole range to trans people, just like with cis people.

Just like how it would be ridiculous to ban cis women from being women if they're GNC, it's exactly the same with same with trans women.

"You might find a partial transformation of value, if you find yourself more attracted overall to the feminine. You are more likely a transgenderist, than a transsexual."

"Transgenderist"???

Oh, apparently that's an extremely archaic (and extremely confusing) term for non-binary.

But I'm not non-binary, just autistic.

Anyway, 0/10 this test is just bad in pretty much every way.

[vlovers19]

I really don't understand why Vminies who follow Vmin so closely and avidly haven't figured out this Vmins secret yet. Vmin "friendship" has been around for several years now, but we have so little private information about them. We do not have any photos or videos that only concern their personal life. Everything they showed us had or has to do with BTS and their work. We don't have any photos of restaurants, parties, etc. they might've gone to together, but we do have Taehyung's dedication to Jimin in album acknowledgements and dedications, like his message to Jimin on his signed copy of Layover that literally called Jimin his testicle. Vmin have a very private relationship, just like their families and familial arrangements, and Vmin chose not to reveal things publicly years ago. I don't know if this was their personal choice or if a situation simply forced them to do it, but both seem like likely explanations. If you observe Vmin carefully, like really carefully, you can discover a lot of interesting things…even today…. And we know that Jikook ( Taekook too) are not a couple, Jikook are friends and since Tae decided to set a high hurdle for himself due to his fears (by choosing the specific military unit he wants to go to) and Jungkook couldn't follow in his footsteps, it is normal for Jikook to go together under the buddy system. I think Jimin needs this, more than Jungkook really. I don't even want to get into what it would be like if Jikook were a couple, because they definitely aren't. I'd quicker believe that Jungkook had an affair with Mingyu rather than any other men. I think the fact that we have so little information about Vmin, that Vmin isn't going to Army together, is more confirmation that there is something between them that needs to be kept secret than that they aren't even friends.

I think that it is much better and more strategic to "live the life of ships" than to show your private life, because of the hatred and envy of people, especially the crazy ones (toxic shippers and solos). It's smarter to spin a fantasy for fans instead of drawing attention to your true self and risking strangers digging into your private life, sesaengs stalking where you live and camp outside your building, as well as strangers calling your families and friends and sending death threats etc… some people's obsession knows no limits.

Exactly!!!

[katierosedreams2]

The monster energy girl experience 

The Monster Energy Girl Experience! Enter to win a chance to get the dream of a lifetime! The Monster Energy Girls are looking to expand and be more inclusive! Win the chance to be flown out to Southern California to meet with the Monster Energy Girls! They will take you on an all expense paid shopping trip to improve your fit! Learn what it takes to be a monster girl as they take you on an all exclusive, all access pass trough their day getting ready for the opening motorcross event of the season! You’ll get to join them in viewing the event as well as joining them in a party after! But that’s just the beginning! You’ll be assigned mentorship from one of the girls, they will help from dating advice to taxes! They are there to help!....

I hardly read much more, skimming the ad for TMEGE. I saw they were looking for young adults entering college, had a flexible schedule, knew how to ride a motorcycle, was no taller then 5’6” and weighed no more than 110 pounds. You also must already have long hair, at least past the shoulders. I saw I had to submit a photo of myself in the smallest, tightest underwear I owned as well as all my measurements and sizes. I found this odd, but I still couldn’t believe my luck! 

I am just about to graduate high school and got accepted into college in Southern California! I also have no job yet, so there’s my flexible schedule! I learned how to ride a motorcycle when I turned 16. I was hoping it would make me seem more manly. 

That’s something I am quite self conscious about. I’m only 5’5” and I weigh only 98 pounds.  Needless to say, I’m a very skinny guy. I also feel like my body is also very feminine. I have small shoulders, a small waist, and large hips, giving me a perfect hourglass body type. My arms and legs are very skinny, and my whole body is completely hairless. And my butt is super big and perky! And to make things even worse, on my chest I have small “fat lumps” as my doctor calls them. I LOOK LIKE I HAVE SMALL BOOBS! Like an A or B cup! But the worst thing is I have a super small penis. I measured once, 1 inch flaccid. That was it. And my balls are as small as marbles.

The doctor said it was a hormonal imbalance. It is probably caused by my undeveloped testicles and high estrogen levels. He recommended medicine to try and fix it, but when I tried it they gave me awful head aches. I couldn’t even get out of bed! And made my stomach so upset I couldn't keep anything down. So I stopped taking them. The doctor said it might work itself out on its own, someday. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve only looked more and more like a girl with a micro dick. I hid my body as best I could with baggy clothes so the other kids wouldn’t know. But this still affected how I felt about myself and I never got the courage to date any of the girls. But I did get friend zoned by most of them. So much so, they would make me sit with them at lunch and go shopping with them. I’d got dragged to all the girly stores and get asked for my opinion on this skirt or top, or if that shade of makeup looked nice, were these nails too long, stuff like that. 

I never had any male friends, they all acted odd to me. Most were kind of mean, and sometimes I’d find boys just staring at me. At my face, or butt, or even my chest. They had this look like they wanted to eat me, or rip me to pieces. I'm not sure what they were thinking, but that’s the best way I can describe it. When I brought this up to my gal friends they said they had the same thing happen to them. This didn’t make me feel any better about myself. They also would comment on how pretty I was, how I would make a pretty girl. That’s why I grew my hair out, they pressured me into it. It was always on the longer side, but when I started high school, the girls decided I should grow it out, that I’d look better. Well, I wanted to get the girls, so if that’s what they thought looked better, then I would be dumb not to, right?!

Well, it didn’t help me get any girls, instead it just had me get more people who would confuse me as a girl, more then a guy. Even after I’d speak they wouldn’t know. I’d have to tell them I was a boy, to which they would look surprised and apologize. I was constantly humiliated. My mother tried to be supportive, but I never felt happy about my body. She suggested I look for things in Southern California that I could meet some people and maybe get some confidence. That’s how I stumbled on TMEGE! 

Well, like I said, I didn’t read all of the ad, I just read some of the things, and thought that this would be a great way to meet super hot girls that I'd get to party with! And even if I don’t get laid and finally lose my virginity, maybe I’ll get my first blow job or even first kiss! And they could help me meet other pretty girls too! Plus, I’d get to travel around the country, get paid, and be surrounded by beautiful women! So, of course, I registered for the contest. I never expected to hear back though.

Two days after my high school graduation, I got an email saying I was a finalist in the contest and that they would like to have a zoom call with me for a final interview! I couldn’t believe it! I scheduled my interview for later that day. I then spent the rest of the day cleaning my room.

 I was struggling to pick out what to wear. I didn’t have many clothes, most of them really hid my body, which is what I wanted. I picked my usual black briefs. They are a little small on me. Sometimes I feel like they look like panties, but mom said she isn’t made of money and can’t just buy me new underwear just because I don’t like mine. Then I picked a pair of baggy jeans I found thrifting. They fit me great, but I’ve just started to wonder if they are women’s pants. And then I picked a white baggy tee shirt and a brown hoodie. 

I looked in the mirror and saw my hair was a mess. I brushed it and styled it to make it look nice. I was almost out of time, so I couldn’t really change, but I felt like I just looked girly. This didn’t give me much hope for my interview. I sat down in front of my computer, checked how I looked, and waited for the zoom to start. 

Suddenly appeared these two beautiful blond women on my screen. They both looked like women every man would fantasize about. They both had long blond hair with big beautiful curlers. Their makeup done perfectly with dark smokey eye, long lashes, and big pink glossy lips. The kind that most would call dick sucking lips. My little dick started to get hard, a whole half inch more, and not even that hard. You can’t even notice it in my pants. They both had sexy white button-up tops with the top buttons undone to show their cleavage. They looked like secretaries in a porno. And right at the top of their cleavage hung a small necklace with a Monster Energy logo.

“Hi there!” They both spoke in unison with pretty voices. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I cleared my throat and tried to answer back with the same enthusiasm. “Hi there!” I heard my voice back in my headphones and was frightened at just how similar I sounded to them. “I’m Haley!” “And I’m Hollie! We are so excited to talk with you!” They both seemed so cheerful! “I’m so excited to talk with you! Thank you for this interview opportunity! I’ve never had an interview before so I’m a little nervous!” I tried to match their excitement. But I was feeling very nervous. I’m not even talking to these women in person, but they are still the most beautiful women I’ve ever even talked to! I couldn’t believe this was real! 

“Oh that’s ok sweetie! Just be yourself! After all, we are looking for someone who’s personality will fit in with the rest of the girls. So why don’t we just dive right in! First tell us a little bit about yourself, and why you registered to win this contest.” Haley’s bubbly cheerful voice was comforting and encouraged me to open up and be honest. 

“Well, my name is Jaycee and I’m 18 years old. I’ve just graduated high school and I’m going to be attending college in Southern California this fall. I’m going there for a communications degree. I signed up for this contest because I thought it might help me get out of my shell. I’m kinda of a shy person, and I haven’t had many friends, pretty much all of them are girls. They and my mom encouraged me to grow and become my true self when I went off to college. And a mentor ship with such lovely ladies and a chance to travel seemed like a great opportunity for that! Haha, also it said the winner would get a new wardrobe and we aren’t exactly well off, so new clothes would help! Most of mine are from good Will and my underwear is so small that it looks like panties!” I laughed nervously, why the hell did I say that?!

The ladies laughed in return. “Yes, the winner will be going on an all expenses paid shopping trip with all of us monster girls! One of the requirements we have here at Monster is a dress code of its employees. We will make sure you look the part! I’m also glad to see you’ll be going to school. We also require our employees to be educated individuals. We also see that you marked yes when we asked if you already knew how to ride a motorcycle?” Hollie replied with just as much cheerfulness as Haley. It was nice to see they had such high standards.

“Yes, I learned how to ride when I got my license at 16. It is a cheaper way to get around, and like I said, we don’t have a lot of money, so it’s been very helpful!” I smiled, still nervous about taking to such beautiful women. “Oh that’s great to hear! Tell us a little bit more about your social life.” Hollie continued. “Well, like I said, I haven’t exactly been a social butterfly, I’m a bit more of a wall flower. I just get a little nervous. My gal friends have been trying to help me overcome that, but I still feel like I have room for improvement!” I tried to sound positive about my situation. 

“And earlier you stated that all of your friends are girls. Is that correct? Also, what has your dating life been like?” Haley sounded a little less cheerful and a little more serious. I didn’t expect them to dig so much into my personal life. “Yes, that’s correct. Grown up all my friends have been girls. I don’t know why exactly. They just pulled me into their group when I was young, and I have just fit right in. So I never gave it much thought. As for my dating life, well, I'm friends with all the girls, so I have never dated anyone. I just struggled to get the courage to ask, I guess.” I was kind of sad about what I was saying. 

“So you’ve never dated anyone? Boy or girl?” Haley asked with a real questioning tone. “No, no one. I haven’t even kissed someone.” I don’t know why I even added that! This is not going to help my chances, but I felt like I should be honest. I did think it was weird they asked if I'd dated boys, but I didn’t think much of it. “That’s ok!” Haley replied cheerfully, almost excited to hear the news that I was a virgin. “Well Hollie and I are both really excited about your interview so far. However, we do have just one more thing to do. You see, we have a physical standard here at Monster and we need to know our girls can meet that standard. So if you would like to continue, we will need to ask that we see you in just your underwear. Your smallest and tightest is best please.” Her cheerfulness gone, replaced with seriousness. 

Girls? It she must have misspoken. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. This would be the most reviled I’ve ever been to another person and they happen to be the two prettiest girls I’ve ever seen!! “Oh, I understand. I actually happen to be wearing them. Just give me one second please.” My voice shaky. I slowly pushed my chair back and stood up so my whole body was in the frame of the camera. It was weird watching me undress as these two gorgeous women stared at me. They were clearly studying their screens as I removed my shirt.

My two small fat lumps looking even more like small boobs. My small shoulders and rib cage going down to my tiny waist. As I slid my pants down, I reviled my wide hips, completing my hourglass figure. My skinny but shapely legs showing my overall feminine looking body. I felt so nervous and self conscious about my body. My little dick shrunk in my black underwear so much it was hardly even there at all. As I stepped out of my pants I heard “Oh, pretty!” from Hollie. Having female friends my whole life, it wasn’t weird hearing a girl say that to me. I got that stuff all the time. Actually, come to think of it, I’ve only ever been told that I was pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, stuff like that. Even from my own mom.

“Ok, can you slowly turn around for us, pause for like thirty seconds with your back to us, and then slowly turn to face us again.” Haley instructed cheerfully. I was so nervous standing in my room in nothing but my underwear as these beautiful women judged me! I slowly turned as instructed and stopped with my back to my screen. “Wow what a bubble butt!” I heard Hollie comment. “Yeah, most women would kill for your butt sweetie!” Haley added. This didn’t make me feel much better. I slowly turned again facing the girls, hoping it wasn’t obvious how red from embarrassment I was. 

“Aw, just so pretty! You have nothing to be nervous about, hun! You're so cute and small! The girls will love you! I think you’ll fit right in!” Hollie said so sweetly “I agree! Why don’t you get dressed, we are going to mute ourselves and talk real quick.” Added Haley. I was so nervous I was shaking as I put my clothes back on. I sat down and saw them talking and smiling. Then I heard Haley speak. “Jaycee, how would you like to join us monster girls!?” Her excitement was obvious and contagious. I couldn’t believe it!! “Oh wow! Really?!” I was in shock! 

“YES GIRL!” Hollie’s excitement was just as contagious! Haley was excited but focused “Now we are emailing you a contract to sign right now! We’ll get you all sorted out and probably have you out here as soon as you can! Now we’ll supply lodging as well as wardrobe, so you don’t need to pack much of everything! Also, please confirm that your sizes are correct.” She was excited but got right to business. “Now I have a flight for tomorrow evening, would that work for you?” Hollie was a little more serious. “Um, I think so! Sorry I'm still in shock!” I could hardly get out.

“Great! I’ll book it!” Hollie smiled. “Ok Jaycee, it’s sent over, check your email!” Haley seemed so excited. “Oh that’s fast! Yep, I got it!” I checked quickly and briefly read the legal contract. I then typed in my name and hit submit. “Ok I signed it!” I was so excited! “Great! we’ll have you sign the actual documents as soon as you get here! I’ll email your flight info as well as all the other things you need. Welcome to The Monster Energy Girl Experience!” Haley spoke with a huge smile. Her soothing, seductive voice just filled me with excitement! I can’t believe I was going to get to be with these beautiful women!

“Oh wow!! I’m so excited! Thank you so much!” I could hardly contain myself! As soon as we said our goodbyes, I jumped around my room! I was just in shock! I felt like I had been dealt a bad hand in life being so small and girly looking, never dating any girls, and finishing high school still a virgin, but now all of that is going to change! I’m going to get to hang out and sleep with the monster energy girls and their friends for all of college!! I might be the luckiest guy to ever live! 

My mother was excited for me, a little confused as to why exactly they wanted me there. She didn’t understand why the monster girls would want a guy there, but she was happy I was happy. She offered to help me pack, but I knew I didn’t need to bring much. I packed a few changes of clothes, and my toiletries. I wasn’t sure what else I would need. I got an email from The Monster Energy Girls later that evening with complete information on my flight, who will be picking me up, where I’ll be going, and the address I’ll be staying at. 

I looked the place up on Google street view. I couldn’t believe it! It was this large hilltop mansion in NewPort that overlooked the ocean! It was so beautiful! It had a swimming pool and everything! I noticed in the email I was going to be living there with at least 2 hot girls! Wow, two smoking hot babes are going to be my roommates in a huge mansion that I don’t have to pay for!! This really is a dream come true!

I could hardly sleep that night. I laid there, excited to sleep. I was thinking about how beautiful those girls were. I couldn’t believe they were real! As I thought about them my small hand wanders down to my little dick, I was hard, well, as hard as I can get. It never really gets that hard, and only grows about a half inch more. Yep, I’m only a inch and a half at my biggest and hardly even hard. But that embarrassment didn’t stop me that night. I couldn’t believe it, I was going to get to loose my virginity to those girls! 

As I pictured their hair, lips, makeup, the outfits, they were just so sexy! I thought about them getting down on their knees and unbuttoning my pants, pulling down my underwear. Before I could even picture them doing anything more, after just a few seconds of my slim index finger and thumb lightly, hardly, moving up and down my dick, I came, dribbling a few drops of cum onto my tummy. My head exploded with ecstasy! I laid there naked, cum still on my hand and tummy, lightly holding my dick pinched between my two fingers as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, I almost jumped out of bed when my alarm sounded. I was just filled with energy and excitement! I spent the morning getting the final things ready and texted my closest friend, Jessy, that I’d be leaving for Southern California today. She was surprised, and asked why I was leaving so soon. I told her all about the MEGE and sent her a link to the contest. “Oh wow! I’m surprised you applied to this! But I guess you’ve probably always been in your shell, I’m glad that this will be a chance for you to come out and finally be your true self! I’ll have to visit you when I move there near the end of summer! Can’t wait to see the new you girl!” I was so glad to see she was happy for me! Maybe after this my old friends won’t see me as just another girl in the group. Maybe they will finally see me as a guy! 

My mom drove me to the airport, she gave me a big hug and promised to visit before I started school! Also, if I could also send her the link to the contest, just so she could better explain to her friends and co-workers about what it was I’d be doing. I hugged her again and left to get on my flight. Security was easy with only my small carry-on bag of possessions. As I waited for my flight, I sent my mom the link. I also saw a text from an unknown number saying it was from Haley, that she would be waiting for me at the airport with Hollie and Kayla. I was very excited. I told them I was getting on the plane and couldn’t wait to see them!

After boarding, I put my phone on airplane mode, put on some headphones and relaxed for my flight to LAX. I woke up to the flight attendant gently rocking me. “Pardon me mis, but we are about to land, can you please put your chair up?” She spoke cheerfully. I hate to admit it, but I’ve gotten used to being mistaken as a girl, I can’t wait for this to stop! “Sure thing.” I spoke back kindly with a half smile, trying not to show that it still hurts to be mistaken as a girl. “You have such pretty hair! I hated to wake you, you looked just like a princess!” Her compliment intended to make me feel better, but just made it feel worse. “Oh, that’s so kind of you to say. You look beautiful too!” My mother told me not to correct people when they are being nice and to always compliment them in return. Once I get these hot monster girls I bet things will change, I thought.

As soon as we landed and I left the plane, I turned airplane mode off. I got a bunch of texts from my mother, they mostly look like emotional stuff. I also saw the messages from Haley telling me they were there and waiting for me by the baggage claim. I was too excited to meet them to look at what my mom had said. I’ll read it later.

I hurried to the baggage claim and there they were, three of the most beautiful women I had ever seen! They were all wearing different outfits, but all very sexy. Haley had a patent black four inch pump, her long smooth sexy legs hardly covered by a short leather pencil skirt. A white button up blouse, the top buttons undone so you could see her sexy cleavage. Her blouse was sheer enough that you could see her black lace push-up bra underneath. Around her neck and right about her cleavage was a necklace that had the Monster Energy logo on it. Her blond hair was up in a big high bun. She looked like a sexy secretary or librarian. 

Hollie was wearing 6inch platform pumps, her smooth bear legs also looking incredibly long under her short leather circle skirt. She had a white spaghetti strap crop top on that also showed off her great cleavage. Her hair was up in a high pony tail, with her shiny blond hair flowing down in big sexy curls. She too wore the same necklace. Her small, perfectly manicured hands gently holding a sign that said my name “Jaycee” in cute pink letters with hearts and kisses around it. It was pretty girly but I guess these are girly girls! 

Kayla was wearing 4 inch black leather thigh high boots. Showing off a small amount of her smooth legs before getting it to her very small, very tight, black leather shorts. She was also wearing a white crop top with one inch straps, her cleavage was also very visible. Her brown hair she wore down in big sexy curls. She also wore the same necklace and all three women had matching makeup. All had big ,sexy, DSL that were light pink and almost dripping with lip gloss. The kind of lips every guy would fantasize about. They had a dark smokey eye and long fake lashes. Their eyebrows arched to perfection. They were the stuff of fantasies. 

I saw them before they saw me. They made me stop dead in my tracks. My jaw dropped. At first I didn’t even notice it was them, then I saw their necklaces and couldn’t believe these goddesses were the girls I was going to be with! My dick getting as hard as I can, but not even noticeable in my pants. They then spotted me,”Jaycee!!” Hollie exclaimed! All the girls jumping with excitement, their boobs bouncing as they did. They ran over to me, their heels clicking loudly, drawing the attention of everyone near by. Their smiling perfect faces rushed at me as they surrounded me and stared hugging me. Their boobs almost in my face from the height of their heels, my arms wrapping around their tiny waist just above their leather clad butts. For that moment, I was in heaven. My dick hard, and desperate to cum.

“We are so happy to meet you!!” They all told me. “I’m so happy to meet you too! And to be here!” Our excitement hardly contained. “I’m Hollie!” She said with cheerfulness that just made you smile. “She's the flirt!” Kayla added, “It's true, I just can’t help myself!” Hollie said proudly. “I’m Haley, I’m so happy to have you be apart of our team!” Haley spoke with an excited and seductive voice. “She’s the boss.” Kayla added quickly. “I’m Kayla! I’m the fun one!” She laughed. “I’m Jaycee! I’m so excited about this opportunity!” I didn’t even try to hide my excitement. 

“Well, let’s head to the car! We have plenty of time to learn all about each other!” Haley suggested. We started to walk, two girls on my right and one on my left, before I knew it, they put their arms around my waist. I naturally, without thinking, did the same in return. There I had just landed in LA and I was walking out in a row of sexy women, yep, I got so lucky! 

We got into the car and I put my stuff in the back. I sat down with Haley in the back seat while Hollie drove. She pulled out her purse that they had kept in the car some papers and a pen. “Here’s your contract. When your ready, sign here, here, initial there, and then sign here.” She was so sweet. Without reading a thing, I signed it. “Great! You're now apart of the Monster Energy Girls Experience! So, what we are going to do is, we are first going to go to your new home! Hollie and Kayla live there. They all make great roommates, after all your getting my old room! You’ll love it! It’s a beautiful house. I lived there until they promoted me! I now live a short drive away in Huntington, I was able to get my own place.” She spoke so bubbly. 

“Oh that’s great! I can’t believe I’ll have such pretty roommates!” I just felt like everything just kept getting better! We talked and talked as we slowly made our way in the traffic. The girls were so sweet, cheerful, funny, smart, and sexy! It felt like a dream. 

Arriving at the house, I was even more surprised. It was even bigger and nicer than I thought. It was two stories, had modern architecture and had a huge garage for 8 cars! The front door was massive and it looked straight at the back wall, which was completely made of glass! It had a beautiful view of the ocean in the distance. The large living room was very simple and nicely decorated. A large L-shaped white leather couch, a small glass coffee table under a huge TV. It opened up further to a large space with a pool table by the back wall. The wall on your right was simple with glass stairs leading up to the second story. The kitchen was also large and very open. With the large dinning table in a very open space near the back wall.

The huge back glass wall was incredible, and had two glass doors, one on each side. There was a large fire pit, a BBQ, lots of lounge chairs, a large pool and a hot tub! As well as a in-ground trampoline on one side and a small patch of grass on the other. 

Heading up the glass stairs were six bedrooms! Even though only three of us living there. One was a girl who had just left Monster and the other two were guest rooms. Each very large, all with their own bathrooms with both a shower and separate bath! The walk in closets were huge! You could put hundreds of clothes and shoes in them! The four back rooms were all identical in layout and shared the same, full size, all glass wall as the downstairs! Each with its own door opening to a full-length balcony with some lounge chairs. This doesn’t leave much of any privacy for someone in their room and someone on the balcony, they can just walk right by and look in. But it does at least give you some privacy from most of the backyard below. 

The two guest rooms were in the front, each slightly smaller than the four in the back. There was also a small common space between them that also had a small TV as well as a small couch. The whole building was stunning, lightly decorated, and overall screamed wealth. It was beautiful. My room was the second to last room. I could hardly breathe as they took me through the house, and when they showed me my room I thought I might faint! This had all been so overwhelming! 

Entering my room, you walked down a small hallway and saw a huge bed off to the right, two small night stands on each side. A desk with a computer on it was on the other side, with a large TV above it. The bathroom and closet door were next to each other on the front wall, to your right, after the hallway. 

“Wow, I just can’t believe this is real!” I could hardly contain myself. This dream only kept getting better! “Isn’t it lovely?” Hollie spoke softly. “This was my old room. The sunsets are so stunning from here!” Haley said proudly. “I can’t wait to see it!” I really couldn’t believe this was happening to me! “And these beds are big enough for a few people!” Hollie said with a little wink in her eye. “It’s true! But Hollie would know all about that! She often has more than one boy toy over at a time!” Kayla laughed playfully. Hollie smiled and said, “Dont even act like I’m the only one that does that, Kayla!” looking at me and laughing, “We’ve all done it, at least a few times!”

“Don’t worry, the walls are pretty much sound proof.” Haley winked at me. “That way you won’t have to worry about being too loud when you have some people over!” She smiled flirtously. I can’t believe it! I get to live in this beautiful house with these beautiful, sexy, slutty girls! I’m going to get to fuck them so much!! I just blushed at her response and was glad my baggy pants made it so you couldn’t tell I was getting hard. 

Haley smiled, she could tell I was shy about that. After all, they knew I was a virgin. “So tonight we are going to take it easy, we have a big day for you tomorrow. I’m going to leave, and the girls will give you time to unpack what little you have, and familiarize yourself with the place. Then they will order whatever you’d like for dinner and just eat here and chill. I’ll be working out later with some of the other girls. If you’d like to join, just text me. How we look is an important part of our job, so exercise is an important part of our job too! We don’t care when you do it, just that you do. Tomorrow we will all meet up early, around 8 or so. You’ll get to meet most of everyone else then. Then it’s a long day of unpacking what clothes we have already got for you as well as some of your uniforms. Then we’ll all go to the salon, mani petit, some shopping to get more clothes and whatever else, and then dinner with some of the riders, executives, people like that. How does that sound? If you have any questions you can ask Hollie.” She spoke with such excitement!

“Wow, sounds like a busy but fun day! That sounds great! I ran track in high school, so I don’t mind exercise! This has all just been so incredible! Thank you so much! I feel like this is a fairytale! Like I’m a..” I paused for a second to think. “Princesses!? right!? I just can’t believe it either!” Hollie cheerfully added. I didn’t want to be rude, so I just agreed with her. After that, all the ladies left my room. 

I took my time to explore it, the bed was super comfortable. The computer looked nice and new, so did the TV. I walked into the closet. There must have been at least two hundred hangers! As you walked in there were drawers on the whole right wall, then lots of hanging space along the rest. Most had a top and bottom rack in the middle of the wall, so you could hang twice as much, but then there were some sections that took up both spaces for things like long coats, or I guess, since this was for ladies', long dresses too. Not that I would hang any of those. And then at the other side was a full-length mirror. All round the bottom, top, and with columns throughout were cubbies to put shoes in, enough for what looked like 50 shoes at least! I couldn’t believe it! I had the one pair on my feet. I had a few tee shirts, one extra hoody in addition to the one I was wearing. Two other pairs of pants, five pairs of socks and briefs. That was it. After putting them away, they took up so little room that the closet looked even bigger. My guess as to how many clothes this holds might be even more! Well it’s great that I don’t have to pay for any more clothes! I did notice in the back there were some very girly luggage and hand bags. Some of them had the Monster logo. I guess they were provided by Monster to the girls and Haley left them. Some were just normal, cute-looking purses. I’ll tell Haley about it tomorrow.

After I got unpacked, I met up with Hollie and Kayla to talk about what they wanted for dinner. We decided to have tacos delivered. As we sat on the couch watching the bachelor, eating and talking, I felt like I was with my old friends. Except, these girls are much prettier, and the view out the window is incredible. The girls were telling me all about themselves and the other girls. They kept saying they were so glad I was one of them now, and that I’d fit right in with the girls. And then Hollie said that I’m going to make such a great Monster Girl, I was a little confused, but she must have just misspoke.  

After dinner, we watched the show a little bit longer and gossiped some more. Then Haley texted that she was coming to pick us up to work out. I realized that I didn’t have any workout clothes. Both girls were so nice and offered to wear something they had, and that tomorrow we’ll make sure to pick me up my own. I didn’t really want to cross dress in front of these hot girls. I was hesitant and trying to be polite, but they were very insistent. Both girls dragged me up to the common area and left into their rooms and brought out several options. Leggings, crop tops, shorts, long sleeve tops, shoes, and sports bras even! 

They must just be playing around. They also really seemed like they wanted me to join them to work out. I didn’t want to disappoint them, but I also didn’t want to wear girls' clothes either! I’m self-conscious about my body looking girly enough. The last thing I need to do is dress like a girl too! I picked a white “baggy” long sleeve top, black “baggy” running shorts, and a pair of white running shoes with pink accents. I wasn’t even sure if it was going to fit me! I took them and told the girls I’d go try them on and left for my room. 

I laid them out on the bed. They looked like a super cute, trendy, girly work-out clothes. Maybe it won’t actually look that way on me I thought. I took off my clothes, folded them neatly and put them in the closet. I slipped the long sleeve on over my head. The sleeves didn’t make it all the way to my wrists, they stopped about 2 inches shy. They showed off just how small and dainty my hands are. The sleeves weren’t skin tight, but they were tighter than I thought they would be. As I pulled it over my head and pulled my long hair out of it, I felt my stomach was still kind of cold. I looked down. Great, it’s a cropped top. And because it was kind of loose, my fat lumps on my chest made it look like I had small breasts and the shirt hung away from my body.

I just hope the shorts were better. I slid them up my legs. I wish I had body hair so my legs looked manly! The shorts were snug on my hips and butt and gave me a small wedge. The waist band hugged my waist perfectly, they fit like a glove. They flared out a little bit at the bottom so you couldn’t even tell I had a penis under them. It showed off my hourglass figure. I put on my white no-show socks and put on the shoes. They fit perfectly. I was scared to look in the full-length mirror by the hall leading into my room. OH MY GOD!! I look exactly like a chick! There is no way I can let the sexy girls see me like this!! 

“Come on Jaycee! Let’s go! Wow, you look so cute!! I’m so glad my clothes fit you so well! Come on!” both girls barged into my room. I jumped as the door flew open, and just froze there as they spoke, clearly rushed to leave. They started off leveling me just standing there. I felt so humiliated. I didn’t want them to see me. I guess it is too late now. “COME ON!” Yelled Kayla from outside the door. I just grabbed my phone and wallet and ran. I can’t believe this is happening to me! Maybe I can still play this off. 

I hurried into the waiting car full of gorgeous women. Haley, Hollie, and Kayla looking stunning in their workout clothes. I got in the back and the car started off. “You look so cute! I’m so glad our stuff fits you! Here I grabbed you a jacket just incase you get cold after. We’re going to grab these great protein smoothies!” Kayla handed me her cropped leather jacket. I put it on my lap, trying to hide my girly legs. 

We arrived at the gym and Haley told us that the other girls weren’t going to be able to make it tonight. I was so relieved that none of the other girls were going to see me this way! Our workout was pretty normal, we worked glutes, than core, then I ran a few miles on the treadmill. It was pretty normal and the girls were mostly focused on the workouts. Afterwards, we left to go get this great protein shake. It was so good, and Kayla was right, I was a little cold. I just slipped her jacket over my shoulders, but didn’t put my arms through the sleeves. As we stood there waiting for our drinks, this tall, good looking guy got his drinks, turned around, looked right at me and said as he walked past “Sup baby girl, you lookin fine.” I just froze like a deer in head lights.

I was so embarrassed, I can’t believe this guy thought I was a girl! This is not going to help me sleep with these girls! The girls, of course, thought it was so funny, with teasing “oo he likes you!” and winks. So embarrassing! That’s the same stuff the girls back home would do. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything, just hoping they would forget about it, and that we could go back to the house and I could get out of these girls' clothes!

Fortunately, as soon as we got our drinks we left, and I felt some relief as I got into my room and out of those clothes! I put them nicely folded on the sink in the bathroom, and started the shower. I put my hair up in a bun and got in. It was warm and soothing and seemed to melt the stress of the last few hours. Of course, the only soaps there were obviously for girls. I picked the least feminine one I could, toasted vanilla. Still pretty girly. I got out, wrapped the towel around me, and walked to my closet for my pajamas. I looked at the huge empty closet, something seemed like it was missing. OH MY GOD, MY CLOTHES!!! They were gone! They were all gone!! HOW!?!

I was about to run out of my room, and saw my body in the mirror with just the towel around my waist and felt like I didn’t look good. My little fat lumps on my chest looked too much like boobs for my liking and I rewarped the towel around my chest, just like a girl would do. I rushed out the hall and down to Hollie's room. I knocked lightly on the door, hopping not to make a scene. She opened her door wearing this lacy sheer night gown and seemed a little confused to see me standing there in a towel. In another sercomstanc this would have been the beginning of a fantasy for me. 

“Is everything ok Jaycee?” A little bit of concern in her voice, she could see on my face I was panicked. “MY CLOTHES! THERE MISSING!” I was almost yelling, I could believe what was happened. “What? That’s odd.” Hollie spoke as she walked past me to my room to see for herself. I followed her to double check I hadn’t imagined it. We both looked in the closet, seeing no trace of my clothes. Hollie checked the hamper, empty. 

“OK, let me tell Haley. But first let me get you something to wear, sweetie.” She headed off to her room, her short sheer nightgown hardly covering the bottom of her butt, not that it mattered because you could see her panties through the gown. I sat on my bed, confused as to what was happening to me. A short while later, Hollie arrived. In her hands were a small thing of clothes and her phone in the other. “Here go put this on, I texted Haley. We’ll see what she thinks.” She seemed helpful and confident we could figure it out. I took the clothes and walked into the bathroom.

“Hey, do you mind if I use your TV while we wait? I was right in the middle of my show.” I heard her speak from the other room. “Sure!” I thoughtlessly replied. I was too worried about wearing what she brought me. In my hands were black lace panties, and a black sheer and lacy nightgown, similar to what she was wearing. “I hope you don’t mind what I got for you! I don’t wear many plane clothes, it’s easier to always look hot if that’s all you own!” Hollie yelled over the sound of the TV from the other room. My heart sank. Not more girly stuff. At least just she’ll see me in this obvious woman’s lingerie. I sighed and put it on. Looking in the mirror didn’t make me feel any better, there wasn’t a single masculine thing about myself. I looked so much like a girl in a sexy nighty and no make up, I even could trick myself! My small bump in my panties not even noticeable through the sheer flowy nighty. 

I had to leave some time. I finally walked out expecting to be laughed at, but she hardly even looked over at me, her attention on her show. “That fits you great!” She commented nicely. Before looking back at her show, she was laying on my bed, relaxing, I guess it wasn’t her clothes missing. I sat on the edge of the bed nervously waiting for Haley’s text. Finally When her phone went off I almost jumped to see the reply...

Katierosedreams OG Cap

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros": Heracles and the Second labor, gEtTiNg CrAbS

*Heracles on his second labor*

Heracles: *walking down a sandy beach where he finally finds the Hydra* ....all right, let's get this over with. *Walks up the the sleeping hydra (currently three heads), "lightly" crushes one of it's head like a watermelon*

Hydra: yyyEEEEEEOOOWOWOWOW! *insert Tom scream*

Heracles: I'm sorry you mighty and stupid creature. I must slay you for my lab-*gets wacked to a tree*

Hydra: *crushed head grows two new heads and the whole writhing lot is hissing*

Heracles: *wipes blood from mouth like a badass* Hehe, you're mean. But I am meaner.

*in Olympus, hiding in Hephaestus's workshop*

Hera: *has a fucking tablet view the whole battle, tapping her fingernails in frustration* hmmmmmmm....this is going to be harder than I thought.

Hephaestus: *gets mildly distracted from the tapping* Mother, why must you pester him so?

Hera: Because your father infuriates me....hmmm. I know! *calls a "friend"*

*back at the beach*

Heracles: *actually winning by punching the living shit out the Hydra's stomach*

Karkinos: *a literal gaint crab the size of a small dog* .... *Crawls up from the beach just to pinch Heracles in the leg*

Heracles: *feels something down there but pays no mind to it for several minutes*

Karkinos: ..... *Pinches the thigh*

Heracles: *feels it again but ignores it*

Karkinos: ........ *Pinches the testicles*

Heracles: *actually didn't feel anything*

Karkinos: ! .....*quickly crawls up Heracles 's side and pinches his nipple*

*tiny honk*

Heracles: *while strangling the Hydra* BLAST IT ALL THAT IS IT! *grips the ever living shit out of Karkinos like a squeeze toy, throws him on to the sand and crushes him*

*back on Olympus*

Zeus: ah a fine evening to gaze at the stars, see the grand expanse of space.... seeing the new and completely not approved constellation of a cra-WHAT?!?!

Karkinos: *is a constellation now* :c

Zeus: HERA!!!!! Why is there a crab in the sky! And without MY PERMISSION!!!???

Hera: Well how else was I going to make it up to Karkinos?

Zeus: Oh so THATS it's name! Well I would have expected myself to act upon my impulses but I would never expect this from YOU Hera.

Hera: *does the confused Clone High hands and face*

*years later*

Heracles: -and that is how I got crabs.

Perseus: .....Heric.

Heracles: *drinks his ambrosia* ?

Perseus: that is absolutely not how you get crabs....also you didn't feel a thing?

Heracles: Depression and the willingness to repent for your own sins does mysterious things to your libido.

Achilles: ....*sips his ambrosia through a crazy straw* ....TROOPER.

Heracles: It was like the darkness had enveloped what little humanity I had in me....

Perseus:....yyyeeeaaaaahhh...sure bud.

[amarantine-amirite]

The Christmas Eve Affair

“So, what brings you to Aurora on Christmas Eve?” the cab driver asked me, “Skiing?”

“I wish.” I said as I looked at the snow blowing across the road, “I have to write my SATs, and you're the only place that's open on Christmas Eve”

“Yeah, there are a lot of Muslims in this town,” the cab driver chuckled, “They don't call us Saudi Aurora for nothing.”

I laughed. “So, why are you writing your SATs on Christmas Eve?” she asked.

I took a deep breath and began, “I don't know if you saw on the news, but Rhode Island is planning to secede. That means we have to move, and move fast. The plan is simple. I go down to Aurora, write my SATs, spend the night, and the next day, I get on the train to Portland, and hopefully, meet my parents there.”

The cab driver shrugged. “Wouldn't it just be easier to stay put in Rhode island?”

“They can't be their own country,” I rolled my eyes, “They're stupid and they'll die.” 

We came within a hair's breadth of hitting a Sikh guy on an e-bike, even though e-bikes aren't allowed on the highway. Good old Saudi Aurora. It’s a city home to 300,000 people, none of whom can drive. “Out of the road, SpongeBob Turbanpants!” barked the driver

SpongeBob Turbanpants turned around and glowered. “This is why they don't let women drive in your country” he responded, gesturing at her A-Team print hijab.

“Shut up, you goat testicle!” the driver clapped back as she flipped him off. She turned to me and said, “Sorry you had to hear that.”

We spent the rest of the drive in silence. The car radio played “Heartaches” by Al Bowlly.

Check in for the SATs was shockingly simple. I presented identification, signed in, went through security, and entered the testing area. I didn’t, however, expect them to separate the boys from the girls. They had the girls do the math portion, then the language portion, and vice versa for the boys.they told us it was so that the girls couldn't cheat off their boyfriends during the math portion, but I'm not really sure how that tracks.

Things were fine until we got to question 13 on the math portion: obtain the roots for the following polynomial - x^5+x+1=2. They asked us to find the roots of a quintic that can't be factored.

Solving polynomials without factoring doesn’t seem fraught, but it’s really easy to get yourself into trouble if the degree of the polynomial gets high enough. Everybody can use the quadratic formula with ease. The cubic formula is messy, hard to remember and even harder to use. Messier still is the quartic formula, to the point that it isn't even worth memorizing. And a formula for quintics or higher? No such thing, my friend.

Quintic functions only have solutions if you can factor them or if they take on a certain form that lets you use other mathematical tricks, many of which aren't really taught to high schoolers. This one was neither. 

In the booklet they give you so you can show your work, I made a note saying that quintics of this form couldn’t be factored unless it met a specific set of conditions. 

Immediately after I finished the math section, one of the proctors pulled me over. “Excuse me, are you Margaret?” she asked. 

“Yes”. I noticed that she had a puffy face, skinny physique, and her name tag said Lucy. Her hair was the same dark brown color as mine, but it looked fake. 

Lucy pointed to my test paper. “We noticed a problem with one of your answers,” she replied.

“What kind of problem?” I asked. Outside, I'm calm, cool, and collected. inside, I'm freaking out because I think they think i cheated. I don't want to insist I didn't cheat. Saying you didn't cheat is exactly what someone who cheated would say.

“You were refusing to do your work,” she replied. The good news was, at least she didn't think I cheated

“No, I wasn’t,” I said. I pointed to the question. “That quintic can't be factored.” 

“No, it just takes time to factor, and you were in a rush,” Lucy replied with an exaggerated nod and overdone mouth movements. Her lipstick made her lips look like overfilled blood tubes.

“No, I wasn't,” I said, shaking my head, “It really can't be factored.” 

“Yes, it can.”

“No, it can’t.” At this point, I started sputtering nonsense. There was no way I could verbalize that the quintic presented did not meet criteria that would allow it to be factored.

“Keep your voice down, you're disturbing the other test takers,” Lucy barked. Her eyebrows creased so much you could put a penny between them and it’d stay put.

“They’re on break,” I said, “and you are louder than I am!”

Lucy exhaled forcefully, folded her arms, and said, “go. Get out of here. Now.” 

I left. Lucy went back and spoke with the other proctors. She then came back and said, “I spoke with my supervisor and you need to go in time out for the rest of the test.”

She led me away from the testing area to the time out room. The time out room had fluorescent lights on the verge of death, dingy wallpaper, bays of cabinets, and papers all over the floor. A trail of tiny humanoid figures led to a room with a single light bulb, orange curtains over an opening to a large laundry room, and a chair in the corner.

It got worse. While in time out, I heard a squishy noise and a scream coming from behind the orange curtain. 

I made the mistake of going behind the curtain and towards the source of the noise. What I saw next would undoubtedly be in my nightmares for the rest of my life: Ruth Washington and Denzel Chan.

I found Ruth sitting on the washing machine, leaning against the wall. She’d been hurt badly and had lost an eye. Denzel just died because they got split in half by a scissor lift. I only recognized them because they had their bulbous K-Pop pretty boy head on the outside and their feet on the inside.

Initially, I thought they were both dead. Ruth fell off the washing machine and her beaded locs clattered against the machine on the way down. She tried to stand up, but fell back over again. She was alive, but just barely. I had to act quickly before she too died.

I raced back to the testing area at record speed. I swung open the door, slamming it into the wall. I marched right up to the front of the hall and demanded, “I need you to call 911!”

Lucy walked away from me, patted a short, baby-faced proctor wearing a red turban on the shoulder and said, “Polynomial Karen’s all yours, Gursewak.” Gursewak looked at me and shook his head. “No,” he replied.

“Why the hell not?” I barked. 

“You’re singling me out because I'm Indian!” Gursewak clapped back, “That’s racial profiling!”

“No,” I said firmly,  “I’m singling you out because you have a phone at the ready.”

Gursweak didn’t care. “Do you English really expect us to have nothing better to do than make your phone calls,” he reprimanded. 

I gave Gursewak the most intense, focused gaze I could. I’ve got 8 inches on him, now was the time to make myself look even bigger. “I’m going to look past the fact that you called me English when you know perfectly well my last name is Strachan and repeat myself,” I said. My mouth dried up and I had to fight not to wrestle the phone from Gursewak’s hand. “I need you to call 911, now. Ruth lost an eye, she is bleeding. If we don't get her to a hospital ASAP, she is going to die.” 

Gursewak did nothing. “Boo hoo, we all lost somebody,” he said sarcastically. He refused to take what happened seriously.

I left the testing area and got my phone out of my locker so I could call 911 myself. Once I called, I got a 15 minute ad that I couldn't skip. Hey, you’re young and swingin’. No time to think about tomorrow. But there ain't no way to deny it. Someday, you’re gonna buy it!

It really freaked me out. The last time you want to be reminded of your own mortality is when you have to call an ambulance!

“Miss, put the phone down now!” I heard one of the other proctors bellow.

I turned around. “It’s an emergency, and I’m nowhere near the test center,” I barked

The other proctor approached me. “I'm not kidding,” she shook her head, “put down the phone and step away!”

I marched to the front desk and demanded they make the call for me. Once again, we got an ad that we couldn't skip. This time, it was an ad for antidepressants. Talk about an insult!

While the guy at the front desk was busy dealing with 911, I went back to the laundry room to check on Ruth. Tragically, but to nobody’s surprise, she died.

I didn't just lose two friends, I really messed up this time. The work I did on the SATs was voided, and I missed the second half of the test. I don’t see myself getting past this.

@humdrummoloch

[terrifickid]

No

People are killers. They've killed the most entire species of other earthlings since a massive asteroid blew up the whole planet 60 million years ago. They're killers and I don't take it personally.

And the top 1% of killers, in their leisure time, do collaborate to make fantastical justifications that they in fact can continue to keep doing it with blind force they deem heroic.

I have no problem with any of this. And here at the end of all things feel liberated from my requirement to involve myself in their total crime.

It's more of a taunt.

I know I'm a good person.

And I know I'm being murdered.

So now I can say fuck you openly and have everyone hemmed in to knowing that's exactly what I mean with no further retaliation for telling them they're weak sauce naked nothings. Vile killers. And they don't know up from down.

I can do it because I'm held blameless for suicide by this very assault. And with the attainment of the diagnosis and the world spiritual heritage I have nothing to lose and therefore can't be countered.

They'd have to save me and keep not saying shit to keep me alive and then I got them. All those step-fathers who wrecked my shit, all that laughter.

Not one of them knows what nice is, or could argue they do have testicles.

So it's fully 100% game.

And what, I lose again growing old and eating shit and realizing they were right about all the cocaine and the misery of it all? Think again, I bounce ever-young and essentially storm the quiefs in Valhalla.

I hate the vainglorious. This life gave me the chance to spit at them. I'll get over it if it's wrong but it may not be.

Go live a life in the DPRK if you're so sure I'm a misogynist. Why not?

I'll wait.

You can't.

I already got it. I live in glory forever, what happens next is your choice which saves or damns your own bullshit ass.

Hey tk

Bye tk.

Who the fuck are you?

Spit at the vainglorious? Ya nameste child. That's just me. No I won't exist with the vainglorious. I'll drown in Styx somehow. I can not be with you. So I'll find a way to become annihilated, eternal fart, cat Jedi or son of a saint. And if I can't than you

Cease to be.

I mean, it's definitely not the same when you're there. David Lindsay my schizophrenic friend drowned himself in the Colombia. I think if I put rocks in my backpack I would sink down and I think choking on water wouldn't be that bad. I don't know I've never considered suicide or attempted it. I know I can make any choice so I think I could do it technically. Will I chicken out? I might. I don't typically do things I regret and I don't recall turning back from something ever once I've decided and I have no regrets. This isn't a woe as me thing. It's been a party for like 10 years straight, ww3, plagues, mental disability and the first moment of my life was my mother shitting on me. I could suck dick for coke but I can't make that decision. And I won't join the Nazi party.

I'd fish on an island but it's illegal. I might try though. I think jungle cat life, where I hunt and gather away from folks in nature is how I'll live if I do. But kneel to Xerxes hahaha.

Call me silly but I legitimately feel imminently threatened with inescapable death by everyone and their collective falsifiable extinction level direct action.

Meaning I ain't in the mood for your hello, your dream of etiquette or lamaz breathing partnership for your volcanic rage when I don't want your greasy nose picking jerk off hand near me thief.

Ok I heard you out, went to permiacare, went on meds and I'm celibate and working on a solution to a problem nobody can solve.

Now get the fuck away from me.

[sortyourlifeoutmate]

Even in terrain as thick with disingenuous nonsense as anything about the Russian invasion of Ukraine this is taking the piss.

The idea that any peace deal that could have been struck would have been done 'on terms favourable to Ukraine' is a joke, and seems to be doing a lot of work to ignore a fairly significant player in the war - one you might struggle to see mentioned up there. You know? The invader? Russia? Those guys?

Seriously, from the wording you'd think Ukraine was fighting ghosts just because America told them to.

Like, you can't come out and expect to be taken seriously if what you're offering is "Just surrender a little bit, just a tiny bit! Just give up a little bit of your land! Not all of it! Just these chunks here. Just give them to the people who invaded and we'll call this square."

That's not favourable terms! You are a fucking shill! Argh!

Bonus:

This was an unrelated post and plays into that cannard of "The US lied about X - what makes you think they're telling the truth about Y?" and while it started with the fairly legit gulf of Tonkin incident (which was, at best, a severe failure to double-check something that was obviously sketchy and at worst knowingly lying) and then leads up into the shit you can see there.

Motherfucker, Russia INVADED. I don't know if you missed that part. Lied about Russian aggression my left testicle. Mariupol is, at present, ninety-five percent ruins and five percent fucking Russians coming in and trying to turn the ruins into a tourist destination. Lied about Russian aggression - you're having a fucking laugh.

And also, Assad did use chemical weapons, and I'm really not sure why you feel the need to defend him in the first place. Secondly, why are you defending Syria as a sovereign nation? Know who else is a sovereign nation? Ukraine. Or because they're friends with the US and not Russia do you feel they don't count?

Jesus Christ.

See, this is what annoys me about these people. They got suspicion on the US down, fine. You should be suspicious of the US, they've done some heinous shit. But then they seem to forget that just about every fucking state has done - and is doing, and does - heinous shit because that's how these things function.

Like, how else do you wind up at "Oh, the US is evil but Russia is on the level"? Are you fucking high? They're all bad! In different ways! In different ways you have to assess on a case-by-case basis! You dumbfuck!

Argh! People! You fucking idiots! What is wrong with you?!

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

2 March 2023 Thursday 9:44 am pdt

incubus wants me to believe that Jaycee dugard wasn’t ready raped. Know what incubus? You want me to believe it I’m your wife & we have children but I don’t have any memories or proof. If she has children w/ him & she says she was I’m going to air on the side of caution & believe what she said & what she wrote & that manipulated everyone’s minds to make them robots w/o memories to make people believe you when you probably lied. Bcz the pain & suffering you caused me is not a lie. The destruction you did to my body was not a lie. So how can I believe anything you say? She said the tazer didnt hurt but the raping did? I’m going to air on the side of caution Bcz children were probably starving during COVID from empty hot pockets. 9:50 am pdt hot pockets that were given to schools for children who needed free lunch & breakfast. 9:51 am pdt

incubus wants me to believe I place money above people, even when it comes to family & friends. 😞😤🥵😤😖😭9:52 am pdt I will evaluate myself about this concern. I cannot say I’ve been 100% not condescending. Maybe 🤔 there were a few times. Bcz not a lot of people liked my dad. Maybe 🤔 it’s passed down genetically? 😞 two things I remember my dad saying, if I omit my dads speculation about my mom, we’re: if you eat vegetables you won’t be fat - the people he said this to got very upset 😠 ; & he yelled at an Asian family saying “you’re greedy!” Bcz they did not wait to let him out of parallel parking first but I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if they realized he was ready to leave & if he left first it would have made it easy 4 them to leave. 9:58 am pdt my dad was thrifty but splurged on some things. My dad only physically hit me once but seemed regretful afterwards. 9:59 am pdt & never did it again. 10 am pdt

10:10 am pdt incubus is heating up my back. Last night incubus made it even more difficult to breathe after giving me more heart ♥️ pain when I was finally able to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ & almost fall asleep 😴. This was very late at night or after midnight 🕛? Before 2 am pdt. For many minutes I couldn’t breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ & head more head/top of head skull 💀 pain. I think 🤔 he’s changing my head shape? 10:13 am pdt agonizing. Still coughing a lot, my mom said she can hear me down the hall of the hotel 🏨. We left more than a day ago. Bcz my aunt & cousin don’t want us around. 10:15 am pdt b4 we left my aunt said we’re not family. My aunt usually says things to people in the family a lot of comments on Facebook, too. She has many Facebooks I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ why. My mom has told me she usually says stuff like that to everyone. Many of the siblings don’t want to talk to her, my mom said. & also my mom says she is different. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if everyone is overly sensitive but she gave me a hard time for barricading the door 🚪 w/ a big fan & 3 step folding ladder 🪜 Bcz of fear that someone might force their way in who wants to hurt us, & she called me crazy Bcz of this & gave me a hard time no matter what explanation I gave. 10:21 am I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ if this is karma for something I did, but incubus made me lose my drivers license probably Bcz I didn’t let my sister borrow it for a 21+ years old event. 10:22 am pdt so I have to question incubus’ motives & dealings of karma. 10:23 am pdt b4 my aunt met her ex-husband she was convinced she was destined to have a daughter. & then she met him, married him, & only gave birth to one daughter. I p <- incubus did that 10:25 am pdt I recently gave more thoughts 💭 to this, how incubus is able to promise someone a daughter or son. Then it occurred to me Bcz man has 2 testicles, that one was for making daughters & the other sons. Last year I saw 10:26 am pdt gotta go 10:27 am pdt

10:46 am pdt...

5:45 pmpdt incubus has been attacking me with a lot of acid. Chuncks of tongue 👅 have been destroyed. Makes me think about that incubus also did many acid attacks in my throat, vag, then this evening my left eyeball 👁😒😖😭😤🥵😤🥵😤🥵😤😰🥺 5:48 pmpdt I feel not very confident about myself. I fear who I really am. I have had to fight against a lot of my own feelings a lot that it’s exhausting. 5:50 pmpdt I guess I have more confessions that I have to think about. 😵5:51 pmpdt

something that I was going to write ✍️ earlier b4 I was interrupted by my needs, I’m watching news 📰 secret 🤐 room in Giza pyramid found, tamron hall earlier said something about there are less men in college now? Trying to remember. I think I remember seeing news 📰 that many men, probably in age teens thru early 30s died of heart ♥️ complications? During COVID. Also a young male pharmacist 👨‍⚕️. That’s why I said that incubus was probably killing off good men, if he’s really a cheater/adultery/polygamist/wife beater & now we see Nick carter is suspected of being a rapist. In autocorrect I saw “fake” “rape.” Autocorrect: I Brendan A . Virgin lot very. Vertical vertical. Jv iheartradio Lyme disease. If he’s gone without notice & people close to him don’t know where he is I would be concerned. 6:02 pmpdt. I don’t want to assume that the Nick carter rape is fake. I don’t think that would be nice to an actual victim. 6:04 pmpdt

so, I am having a lot of difficulty breathing. Still. 6:06 pmpdt

6:27 pmpdt turkey found a live dog 🐶 from the earthquake ... earlier when I wrote I was watching news 📰 maybe 🤔 he wasn’t really in the original earthquake? & was wandering? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

6:30 🕡 pmpdt Jewish officials in Michigan.. incubus is burning 🔥 me again. I only think my death ☠️ is coming. 6:32 pmpdt

[save-me-im-feeling]

I was looking up french terms of endearment for reasons and I found this

Would any french people like to explain this?

[telebisou]

Fight Club

I can see immediately why people had so much trouble understanding the point of this film after the 90s were done.

This is a very 20th century American story, about how "Generation X" boys would inevitably evolve into "incels", and how that would ultimately fail to create anything other than a thin mythology with which to justify and absolve them as perpetrators of violence.

It is a simple prescience, in the way of all speculative fictions, in which the author extrapolates from 'now' to envision a future based on extant reality. That "future" came and went, exactly according to its author's schedule. Its despair was proven accurate (and its author has since retired into contentment).

At the time, it was presented as a dark farce, but of course the entire basis for any but the most surreal farce has been obsoleted. "Something like this would never really happen", "no one would actually do this", "people aren't that silly" are incoherent premises! We all know it would, they would, they are, and beyond. In this way Fight Club is a final fading ember of farce. The darkness its joke was presented with has since become standard fare, so ubiquitous as to be invisible.

The difficulty of art was once Palahniuk's burden, but the outcome of simple reality is not his responsibility.

The story's psychological complexity speaks to a people that are mostly gone, now: 'the middle children of history' have surrendered to their masters and their cynicism has been redirected toward their younger siblings, so that they can keep their jobs. Blue Trump is a satisfying and adequate surrogate for Orange Trump.

When Chuck speaks clearly, the movie gives cinematic weight to the line, but it's gone ignored or misunderstood all these years:

We are men. Men is what we are. Put this in context: at the support group for people who have had their testicles removed. Line it up with what he has demanded be done to him if he betrays Project Mayhem…

Bad news, friend, it's not going to happen. I'm sorry if there was a misunderstanding. You're trespassing and I will have to call the police. The people you sought your validation from are going to demean you in every same way you have been demeaned before. Can you take it? Or are you weak? You can't be in the club if you won't let us abuse you for our amusement.

Tyler. You are the worst thing that ever happened to me. she is unable to escape her abuser. his power includes having her brought to him against her will, and to convince her to hold his hand while his violence erupts. our justification is that it is credit card companies he is attacking - but in the real world, do the credit card companies erase your debt? or does your abused girlfriend feel obligated to try again? in reality.

I always suspected that his fans drastically misinterpreting his work is part of the reason for Palahniuk's cheerful recusal from the business. I speculate that he is too mild a person to really grapple with white supremacy at that level. Many people his age, especially educated white people, are just unable to face it. Realizing that their existential crises stem from their own privilege within racist systems is too crippling to face, too guilty and with no apparent solution, especially as web-enabled moral absolutism increasingly defines our common perspective. What a different story Fight Club would have been if it was "I am Jack's Wrong Colored Skin", or if Raymond K Hessel, sobbing and pathetic, had been depicted as the average white boy viewer instead of a humorously nebbish asian person.

Beyond the ground level - did Chuck know how white a movie it was going to be? Did he reflect after on just how white all his works are? I've read three of his books, they have nothing to do with nonwhite reality. Watching the movie, I wonder if it is intentional, how jarringly out of place & shallow his black background characters look. As a wild guess, I don't think he was conscious of it; I don't know of any interviews or essays in which he examines the boundaries of his imaginal worlds that express an insight into the delineations of color in the society he criticizes. It's a useful filter to examine his work through.