#will be back with reviews of the system it's set in btw

[lost-in-yahargul]

Today is the day guys, I did manage to make a character and if he grows on me I WILL draw him 😌

Playing bloodborne ttrpg at an event this weekend and I'm struggling so much to make a character, why is my brain so empty right when I'd need it </3

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Ambiance (M, allergies)

Idk who I turned into the past two days, but somehow I bestow upon you all allergy sneeze porn with absolutely zero plot lmaoo. Uhhh, I don't write many allergy fics! I've maybe written 3 my entire life, so if it sucks that's why. In it, Mark is given the task of setting out flowers that he's super allergic to on the tables at work and that's literally it. The rest is sneezing hahaha.

Welp, I hope you guys like this, it was certainly a fun write, though I feel a little weird putting out a fic that has no drama in it at all lmao. Would love to hear how you feel about it! Hope you like sneezing HAHAHA.

On with the show!

CW: Male snz, allergy snz (from flowers), some mess (more implied than explicit). 2.2k words below the cut.

Ambiance

The moment Mark stepped through the back kitchen doors, Elijah swooped in like a hawk and handed him a comically-sized bouquet. “I have a project for you,” he said, distractedly.

Oh, you have got to be shitting me, Mark thought. From behind the bouquet, he tried to make his voice as light and joking as possible. “Does it have something to do with the… mountain of flowers?”

Elijah snorted. “How’d you guess,” he said, tapping something into his phone. The GM let loose an exasperated sigh, shoved his phone into his pocket, and regarded Mark with a look that suggested his patience, even at ten in the morning, was running thin.

“We’ve gotten three reviews in the past week saying that we don’t have enough ambiance,” Elijah rolled his eyes. “I swear to god, it must be those women who came in last Sunday and were pissed that we didn’t have bottomless mimosas. Anyway, I’m sick of seeing two-star reviews, so we’re ambiance-ing the fuck out of this place. You’re on flowers, Greyson is hanging fairy lights. I’m replacing all the lightbulbs in the lamps at the tables with those dark-as-fuck ones so no one can read the fucking menus.” Elijah held his hands up, as if in surrender. “You get the picture.”

Mark nodded slowly, his nose twitching inadvertently. “Are these, like, a vase at the host stand type deal, or…?” Elijah shook his head as he pulled out his phone.

“Three per table,” he explained, typing once again. “I switched out the stick-things we had as centerpieces for little vases.” He glanced up from the phone briefly, then furrowed his brow, concerned. “You good?”

Mark opened his mouth to respond, but instead wrenched into his shoulder. “NTSHH! HRRSHH!” Keeping his eyes closed, Mark took a moment to gather himself. Don’t, he thought, an internal warning to all of his systems. You are fine. Keep it together.

“Bless you,” Elijah said, an eyebrow now raised. “You feeling alright?”

Mark nodded, a quick, curt motion. “All good,” he said, moving the flowers to be cradled in one arm instead of right in front of his fucking face, why didn’t you move them before?! “Three per table,” he parroted. “Heard.”

Elijah nodded back. “Okay,” he said, his face betraying his confusion. “Great. Thanks, Mark. I have to go pick up tablecloths, apparently the launderers are down a van this week. Give me a call if you guys need anything while I’m gone, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” Mark managed, one hand unconsciously moving to paw at his nose. “Will do.”

The GM moved past the floor manager, pushed through the back kitchen doors to the alley, and let the door fall closed behind him. The moment it did, Mark tossed the bouquet onto the closest prep table and folded in half.

“HRRSHH-uh! NTSHH-oo! NXTSH! Hh’ITSZHH! HRRSHH-ue!” Mark stood, panting, for a moment before allowing himself to glance back at the flowers – chrysanthemums. Just as he assumed. Fuck.

***

11:09AM

Mark

babe, I need your help with something

11:10AM

Matt

uhhhh, ok? where tf are you, btw? I thought you were scheduled in at 10

11:10AM

Mark

im here. im in the guest bathroom, can you just come here for like five seconds.

11:11AM

Mark

bring the benedryl from the drawer in the office, pls.

When Matt walked through the guest bathroom door, he had not one iota of a clue what was going on with Mark; the man could certainly be cryptic when he wanted to be, but this was a whole other level.

“Hello?” Matt called into the seemingly-empty bathroom. “Mark, are you-”

“HRSSH! Huh-! USHH-ue! HTSH, HTSH, HTSH-ue! HH-! NTXSHH-ue! God, fuck mbe.”

Matt furrowed his eyebrows together. “Babe?” he asked, moving towards the furthest stall. Without thinking, he pushed the door – unlocked – and stared at his boyfriend. “Jesus Christ, Mark.”

His boyfriend was standing with his back toward the door, but turned when he heard Matt enter. Mark seemed to be stuck in some sort of a tortured-looking pre-sneeze, his eyes were rimmed red and weeping, and when he spoke, his voice was completely waterlogged. “Oh, thangk god,” Mark managed when he saw the Benedryl in Matt’s hand. He took it, dry swallowed, and immediately turn back into his elbow to – “HNSTCHH-oo!”

“What the fuck happened?” Matt asked as Mark attempted to clean himself up. “You were fine when you left the house this morning.”

“HRRSHH-ue! NTGSHH!” Mark pinched his nose between two fingers to attempt to quell the fit – for the moment, it seemed to have worked. Rubbing a streaming eye with one hand, Mark pushed past his boyfriend and moved towards the sink. “Do you remember that timbe you brought mbe flowers? I thingk it was like our second dahh – HTSH! NTSH! HXGTSHH-ue! Jesus fuckigg christ.” Mark pulled a paper towel from the dispenser to blow his nose while Matt mulled it over in his mind. Finally, a look of sordid remembrance colored his face.

“Oh, fuck,” Matt said. “You don’t mean the fucking chrysanthemum incident, do you?” A look from behind the paper towel confirmed that yes – that was exactly what Mark meant. “Who the fuck brought you flowers at work?” Matt asked, envy coating his voice. Mark coughed out a laugh.

“Jealous?” he asked, tossing the paper towel and washing his hands. Matt rolled his eyes. “They’re for the restaurant. Elijah gave mbe this big-ass bouquet the second I walked in and put mbe in charge of putting themb on the tables,” Mark explained, straightening his tie and pushing back his hair. It was for naught; no one would be able to look past his swollen eyes and streaming nose at this point. “Apparently we’re gettigg bad reviews for lack of ambiaahhh – HNTSHH-uh! NGTSH! Huh -! HTXSH! NGTXSH!” Mark attempted to stifle another round of painful-sounding sneezes, while Matt cringed behind him.

“Could you please just sneeze normal?” he asked, pressing a hand into the small of his boyfriend’s back. “You sound like you’re going to burst a blood vessel.” Mark rubbed his nose on the back of his hand and gave Matt a look in the mirror.

“I genuinely thingk I wouldn’t be able to stop if I wasn’t tryigg to hold them back,” he said, clearing his throat. Matt pressed his lips together.

“Has Elijah seen the, uh… state he put you in yet? Why didn’t you just tell him you’re super fucking allergic to chrysanthemums?” he asked. Mark shook his head.

“He had to go get tablecloths. I doubt he even kndows what kind of flowers they are, and honestly, he already seembed pissed off, I didn’t want to pile ohh -” Mark said, his face already starting to collapse as another fit rapidly approached. “Fugck – HRTSHH-oo! HTSH, HXGTSH, ITSZCHH-ue! Huh – HUHHESCHOO!” Finally, Mark allowed one grating, throat-scraping, full sneeze out. As it did, his hand flew up to cover his nose and mouth. Matt cringed – partially in sympathy and partially in mild disgust – and pulled a handful of paper towels from the dispenser to hand to his boyfriend.

“Dude,” Matt said as Mark blew his nose. “How the hell are you going to work like this?”

Tossing the paper towels and rubbing his eyes again, Mark just shrugged. “Hopefully the Benedryl starts workigg soond.”

“And what do you think Elijah is going to say when you’re half-asleep and doped up on Benedryl?” Matt asked.

“To be honest,” Mark said, “I thingk anything would be better than thiihh – ITSZCHH-ue!”

***

“Mark, pre-shift!”

Startled, and pulled from a Benedryl-induced near-coma, Mark bolted upright. His eyes flicked to the corner of his computer screen – 4:31PM. Fuck, had he really fallen asleep for almost an hour?

Before the impromptu nap, Mark thought he’d finally gotten it mostly back together. He’d splashed enough water on his face to waterboard an elephant, he’d blown his nose until both his ears popped, and he’d avoided the dining room like the plague, insisting instead to Elijah – who, fortunately, couldn’t look up from his phone long enough to see his floor manager’s eyes swelling near-shut – that he would work on schedules in the office so his boss could continue to zhuzh up the front of house. Thankfully, his boss had agreed.

Apparently, though, the Benedryl had taken its well-known promise that you can’t sneeze if you’re wracked out a little too seriously, because Mark couldn’t for the life of him remember anything past sitting down and opening the schedule up on the computer. Now, he was attempting to smooth his shirt, push his hair back into submission, and try to look like he hadn’t spent the last sixty minutes drooling onto the desk.

“Sorry, sorry,” Mark said as he entered the dining room. “Lost track of time.”

“It’s fine,” Elijah said, curt. From his peripherals, Mark could see Matt tossing him a concerned look – one that he refused to meet. The GM handed the floor manager a copy of the cover count over one of the vases Mark had filled earlier that day – as his hand brushed against one of the flowers, he could feel the relentless fucking itch reenter his nose. Well, Benedryl, the important thing is you tried, he thought, staring as hard as he could at the paper. Focus, idiot, fucking focus.

“Alright, guys so tonight – shit,” Elijah pulled out his phone as he began pre-shift, swearing when it started vibrating in his hand. “Fuck, that’s the lighting guys, I have to take this. Mark, you run things. I’ll be right back.”

Oh, no.

Elijah stepped into the kitchen and the servers trained their eyes on Mark; he could immediately feel the itch lodge itself directly between his eyeballs. Pawing at his nose, the floor manager looked down; just get through the covers, you can do this.

“Ah – okay,” Mark began. “So tondight we have one twenty on the booooh…” Not even one sentence in, Mark could feel himself gearing up to sneeze. The first five, he managed to stifle into complete silence, his fist pressed against his nose. Mark let out a shaky breath as the servers, Greyson, and Matt murmured a collective Bless you; that phrase alone was enough to set him off completely.

“HTSCHH-uh!” The first out-loud sneeze caught him off-guard enough to catch in his palm – gross, he thought to himself, as if the rest of this fit wasn’t going to be. “HTSHH! NGTSHH! Hh’RRSCHH-ue! Fuck – NTSHH-ue! HRRESCHH-ue! ITSZCH! NGTXCH! Huh-! ESCHH-oo!”

“Christ, Mark,” Greyson said, his voice more annoyed than concerned. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

Unable to answer, Mark just turned away from the table, away from the chefs and servers, and folded himself in half over his own lap. “HRRSHH-uh! Huh-! HUHESTCHOO!”

From the kitchen, Elijah called, “The fuck is going on out there?”

If he wasn’t so completely caught up in relentless itch, Mark would have been horrified, beyond embarrassed. As it was, he could only focus on one thing: “NTSHH! Huh’GTSHH! Fuckigg – HRRSHH-oo!”

Elijah had made his way back out to the dining room and was standing over the floor manager, confused and a little disgusted. Between sneezes, he placed a hand on Mark’s head. “You aren’t warm,” he mused as they all watched Mark succumb again and again.

“He isn’t sick,” Matt called from behind them. “He’s – Christ, Mark I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell him earlier – he’s like, insanely allergic to chrysanthemums.”

Elijah glanced briefly at the flowers on the table, then turned back to Mark, who had both arms over his head in an attempt to cover the mess that was his face. “Mark…?” Elijah asked, handing the floor manager a perfectly-folded napkin from the table before them. “I assume that’s, uh… true?”

Mark took the napkin, too exhausted and fucking itchy to be ashamed. He wiped his face as well as he could and sat up; one of his eyes was swollen half-shut, his nose was streaming down his face, and he could feel his lungs starting to constrict with the effort of sneezing so fucking much. “Yeah,” he admitted, voice husky and congested. “Yeah, I amb. HRRTSHH-oo! Huh-ITSZCHH-ue!”

Immediately, Elijah sprung into action. He turned towards the servers – all of whom seemed to be frozen, unsure of what to do about the scene before them – and clapped his hands. “Fuck, alright, okay guys, everyone needs to go around and take the flowers off the tables. Throw them in the dumpster outside, alright? We’ll figure out something else to do with the vases tomorrow.”

The servers complied immediately, collecting the offending flowers while Mark, ever the realist, gave his boss as dogged a look as he could imagine. “But… what about the ambiance?” he asked, a question so ridiculous that Elijah, Greyson, and Matt all choked out the same tension-breaking laugh.

“Mark,” Elijah said, placing a careful hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “Ambiance… the ambiance isn’t going to mean much if the background music is drowned out by you, uh… sneezing until you pass out. You know what I mean?”

Mark colored – his embarrassment a good sign that the fit was finally letting up. “Oh,” he said, sucking in through his nose. “Yeah, I guess… I guess that mbakes seeehhh – NGTZCH-uh!” This one, he attempted to stifle into his shoulder, making Elijah and Greyson cringe.

“Why don’t you, uh… run home and change, kid,” Greyson said, locking eyes with Elijah. “Maybe just, like, throw those clothes away.” Elijah nodded in vehement agreement.

“We’ll hold the fort down,” he said, patting Mark on the back. Mark just nodded as both of the senior managers walked back into the kitchen.

Alone but for his boyfriend, Mark let out a congested sigh and leaned his head on Matt’s shoulder. “You doin’ okay?” Matt asked after a minute or so. Mark coughed, shrugged.

“I mbean, if I haven’t died of fuckigg embarrassmbent after that, I thingk I’ll probably live forever,” he joked, rubbing his swollen eye until he saw stars. Gently, Matt removed his boyfriend’s hand from his face and kissed his palm. They sat in silence like that for awhile, until Matt’s breathing finally got back to mostly-normal.

“Fucking chrysanthemums,” Matt muttered, coursing a hand through Mark’s hair. The other man huffed out a laugh.

“Fuckigg chrysanthemuuhh… HUHHHTSCHOO!”

[tryandbehappy]

Oh my god. What utter bullshit.

Do you realize what they did? They made Nick the fucking scapegoat with no closure, no resolution, no development, nothing. And the worst part? It’s all completely OOC.

Why?

Because if they wanted to show that he was some kind of villain June became disillusioned with, then they should’ve actually shown him being shady and doing something really unforgivable and irredeemable at least. They should’ve given him a real “dark side,” a secret life, something ( i honestly can’t even imagine what it could’ve been —considering she forgave Lydia and Serena for things that were so much worse. But okay. At minimum, he would’ve had to personally shoot those girls and assault someone right in front of her for this level of rejection to make any f***ing sense)

But they didn’t.

All we ever saw were things that made us feel sympathy for him, compassion for him.

And then what happens?

June throws him away like a fing dog. Even when literally everyone else is defending him (even Luke and Serena) She’s like “nah, f that, it was his choice, he deserved it” 😱

Completely erasing everything they shared. EVERYTHING. Don’t get me started to list everything he did for her.

I genuinely don’t even have words for how f*ing absurd that is. So what are we left with?

A message that her love for him was… what? Fake?Unacknowledged? That he was never really good? That it meant nothing?

Because apparently, “all commanders are evil.”

Except wait — not all of them. Lawrence is fine. Rapists are evil — but not Lydia, not Serena. THEY get redemption. THEY get forgiveness. Even from June herself.

The hypocrisy is off the charts.

Nick gets destroyed for one single mistake. (And it wasn’t even really a mistake)

She knows his circumstances. She knows he has no one outside. She left him. She knows he has a wife and a child now. She knows all of that.

So if the goal was to make him look like a monster then WHY give him a wife and child he actually cares about?Why show that he values loyalty, family, love? Why frame him as the one man who stayed decent in a hellish system only to punish him for it?

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t build a character whose entire arc is about being emotionally grounded, loyal, protective and then expect us to believe he’s evil because he didn’t abandon his child?

In his final scene, you have ROSE pressuring him to protect his child and that was his motive. And now we’re supposed to go, “oh yeah, that’s a bad guy”?

WHAT???

It just…It doesn’t make any f***ing sense. And let’s be real — this episode told me nothing I didn’t already suspect. They planted those dumbass lines earlier:

“the winning side,”

“June asked me to leave Gilead.” It was already clear they were setting him up for a fall.

So what’s the takeaway?

The entire show used us — used the fanbase’s love and trust and compassion for Nick —

just to keep us watching. Just to keep us emotionally invested. So that in the end, they could drop this cheap lazy f***ing twist where he’s suddenly “the villain” not because it makes sense, but because they wanted shock value.

And in doing that, they made the main character June look like a coward. A hypocrite. A bitter woman who never actually grew, never evolved. An ungrateful disgusting woman.

She judges based on labels (only Nick btw), even though she, of all people, should understand the gray areas —better than anyone. Her mother doesn’t. Luke doesn’t. But she lived it. She knows.

And still, in the end, she chooses the white coat (strange she wasn’t wearing it like when she was watching the fucking ballet)

She turns her back on Nick.Betrays their entire story. Over one thing. ONE decision — a situation she herself put him in. A father of her child. Made out of love! (She said it herself)

It’s disgusting.

And the message it sends? Absolutely revolting. I don’t even know how to comment on this anymore.

F*** them. They deserve a f***ing avalanche of 1-star reviews, internet rage, and public backlash.

Because this, this is how you butcher a legacy.

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s02ep013 "Verne Hatches an Egg"

✨Last episode of the series!✨

Previous episodes linked here.

In this episode: Verne gains a cute little buddy, creepy Mr. Wisdom returns, and a jarring final moment with Real Doc

Well, friends, we've reached the end of our journey into the world of the animated series. It was almost exactly one year ago today that I posted my review of the first episode, and it's been a super fun project to work on. I'm kind of sad to be done with it.

Let's see what this last episode has in store for us, shall we?

We start in the lab, where Doc is making adjustments to his latest invention, the "ELB Pediatric Policer."

It's basically a lie detector designed to be worn by children, lol. When a child does something they know is wrong, or if they lie about something, it flashes with lights and blares a siren. He plans to present it at the Annual Convention of the Home Inventors of Mad Geniuses.

Gonna be real with you, Doc—not sure how I feel about this invention. Sounds like a good way to raise very anxious, paranoid children.

Anyway, this reminds Doc of something that happened to Verne when he was doing show and tell one day.

The cartoon begins with someone attempting the steal the DeLorean. They're shrouded in shadows, but it's pretty clear that it's Verne. He's got a pretty high track record for DeLorean thievery. Doc's security system catches him, though, locking him into the car, setting off an alarm, and taking a picture, which is sent directly to Doc's room.

Quick little sidenote, but I don't think I've mentioned that Doc regularly calls Clara "Clarabelle" over the course of the series. When he's woken up by the alarm system, it's the name he uses to call to her, and I was like, "huh. why have I never written about this in my posts?" I looked it up, and Clarabelle (the spelling according to the subtitles on the DVD) is a variant of the more official spelling, which is Claribel. It means "bright and beautiful" but seems to be a pretty obscure name, as it's only listed at .009% usage at the height of its popularity in 1893.

So, I'm left wondering: Is the animated series implying that it's perhaps her "real" name, with Clara being her nickname? Or is this just an affectionate nickname Doc uses for Clara? And if it's a nickname, is it something Doc simply thought had a nice ring to it, or is it because he's secretly a big fan of the Disney character Clarabelle Cow??

That's Clarabelle with her boyfriend Horace Horsecollar, btw. If you even care.

Verne tells Doc that he was only taking the DeLorean so he could go looking for something cool to bring to show and tell. Doc decides to help him out by letting him borrow an arrowhead he has. Verne is psyched, but before he can even reach the school building, Biff Jr. intercepts him and demands his lunch money. He steals the arrowhead from Verne.

Verne's teacher isn't happy that he had nothing to show or tell about, and she tells him that if he doesn't bring in something the next day, she's going to make him play Prince Charming in the upcoming school play. Which is a really weird threat if you ask me!! How does one force a child into a lead role of a play he doesn't want to be in just because he didn't have show and tell? What kind of school is this?

Verne is horrified by this news on account of he'd have to kiss some girl named Beatrice. He says he'd rather be, "dead like a dinosaur" which gives him a sudden idea. I sense a bad decision coming! And I bet Marty is going to be in on it because he always enables Varne in these types of shenanigans.

Yep. I knew it.

The boys take a quick trip to prehistoric times, where Verne swipes a dino egg for show and tell.

Shortly after arriving home, the egg hatches, and Verne finds himself caretaker to the world's cutest dinosaur.

Look at that guy. (Verne faints when he sees it)

Within the hour, the dinosaur has already grown significantly, and it escapes outside to the yard, where Verne begs Jules to help in hiding him. Just then, they hear Doc approaching and quickly work to form a ridiculous story in which the dino is their friend who painted himself green because they're playing a game involving aliens.

They're able to get away with it on account of Einstein is so afraid of the dinosaur that he launches himself at Doc's face and refuses to move.

Doc decides to take Einie to the vet, leaving his sons and their "friend" to continue their game. Jules insists Verne return the dino, but Verne wants to keep him as a pet. He names him Tiny.

It doesn't take long for Tiny to go missing in town. He ends up at the Tannen home, where Biff Jr. is watching Mr. Wisdom (who you may remember from an episode earlier in the season). If you don't, you just need to know that Mr. Wisdom is an evil children's TV show host who also happens to be one of Doc's old college roommates.

Mr. Wisdom announces that he's offering $50,000 to any viewer who can capture and send in an alien, bigfoot, or dinosaur. Very unfortunate timing, huh? Biff captures Tiny and sends him into the Mr. Wisdom show. After airing a special episode featuring Tiny, Mr. Wisdom plans to kill him and sell pieces of him to research labs for money.

Thankfully, Verne comes clean to his parents, and they work together to form a plan and sneak onto the set to free Tiny.

When Mr. Wisdom starts his show and reveals the "dinosaur," it's really just Marty and Jules on stilts.

Jules looks just like the monkey in that one meme.

The family gets home and prepares to bring Tiny back where he belongs. Before he goes, he spits out a baby tooth, which Verne is excited to be able to take to show and tell.

With that story wrapped up, we go back to Real Doc, who teaches us a little about eggs using a raw one. While he's talking, he takes out the lunch he'd packed, of which one of the items is a hard-boiled egg. Can you guess what happens? Yeah, he mixes up the two eggs. After some time to think about it, he feels pretty confident that he's figured out which one is the hard-boiled one and. And he just BITES into the egg, shell and all, like an absolute lunatic. And he's wrong about it being the hard-boiled one.

Who does this? Who on EARTH eats a hard-boiled egg in this manner? Are you telling me that Doc regularly leaves the shells on his eggs and bites into them like an apple?? He eats the shells? Is that what I'm supposed to take away from this??

We're ending the animated series with the revelation that this is how our beloved scientist finds it acceptable to eat a hard-boiled egg?? What am I supposed to do with this now? How will I make peace with this information?

Join me next time for nothing. The animated series is over, folks. Doctor Emmett Brown eats eggshells.

Adiós.

[romanreadsbooks]

The Bear and The Nightingale by Katherine Arden - Review

TL;DR

4.1 Stars

Pros: Characters, atmospheric writing style, glossary

Cons: Confusing character names/nicknames, slow paced

Continue the Series? Maybe

Spoilers in review? No

Opinions going in/why I picked it up:

I have a friend that I buddy read with and it was my turn to pick a book. I was a little reading slumpy/brain dead in December so I wanted a unserious romantasy with winter vibes that I could turn my brain off and read

I googled "winter romantasy" and The Bear and The Nightingale was what was recommended in a couple of Reddit threads. Now that I've read it, I don't think if I would classify it as 'romantasy' by the common definition of that genre. And it was very much a brain-heavy book, at least for me.

Luckily, just before this, I read A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles (fantastic book btw), so I was already primed for all of the Russian terms and names. Additionally I am a frequent reader of fantasy so I am used to the early struggle of learning new terms/names/magic systems.

My buddy for this read did not fair well, unfortunately. She has not read any Russian-set books also does not read a ton of fantasy, so she did DNF the book. It was a little too dense and slow going for her at the time, which is understandable.

Likes:

Now, I have spent basically my entire life in places where it rarely gets below freezing and only snows once a decade, so take everything in this section with a grain of salt.

Basically I love winter.

It is by far my favorite season and I was always excited when my last employer would send me off to the northern states in the middle of January so I could live in the snow and spend time in the cold, middle of nowhere forest towns (and do my job I guess). Even though I was frozen to the bone, my heart was warmed.

This books brought that feeling to me despite it being ~40 degrees fahrenheit the majority of the time that I was reading it. The imagery Arden creates is so visceral and captivating that I felt the freezing ice of the world on my skin. We may not have gotten as much romance as I expected (more on that later), but we definitely got the 'Winter' side of it.

Another thing I really appreciate about the writing of this book is the dialogue. It was period appropriate without being difficult to read, which I fear is a common issue in some of the few historical fiction books I've read this far.

Additionally, I really liked all of the characters, even the stereotypical ones. There is of course the protective brother and evil step mother, but it felt much more like an homage to the core of fairytales rather than a overdone cliche.

And everyone say it with me: We love fantasy books with a glossary! Unfortunately it was at the back of the book, so I did not see it until I had already finished. But there is one at the back with the various creature names and descriptions. Definitely would have made heavy use of it had I'd known.

Dislikes:

To add to the confusion of learning a whole new cast of characters upon jumping into a book, there are multiple alternate names for the same character. For instance our main character, most often called Vasya, is also called Vasochka, Vedma, Vasily, and Vasilisa. All similar enough that you can often attribute it to the correct character, but still takes a second sometimes.

To my understanding this is very common in Russian or Russian-inspired literature, but that doesn't make it not confusing to the unfamiliar.

This next dislike is not at the fault of the book. It is purely my misunderstanding, but I wanted to mention it because it did impact my reading experience.

As I said, I specifically searched for 'romantasy', and so when I read The Bear and the Nightingale, I expected that romance would be at least noticably present. The entire time I was like "who the hell is the other half of this romance??"

After reading, I would absolutely consider this book just a straight up fantasy. The romance is so minor that it's barely there -- just a single, chaste 'i might not see you ever again' kiss. It's possible, if not likely, that it will be more prevalent as the series continues, but we're just focusing on book one here.

And I'm sorry but this book is *so* slow. It's barely over 300 pages but it felt like a 500+ page slog. A beautifully written, interesting story, but a slog none the less. I would hesitate to cut out anything, but perhaps one or two more active scenes could have been added to balance the slow pacing just a tiny bit.

At the same time I would warn against adding too many because you want to maintain the brutal, long winter vibe the book gives off. A difficult balance to strike, to be sure.

Other Notes:

Themes of Christianity depicted in the more "be afraid of God" kind of way than a "God is loving and forgiving" way. I have limited experience with the Christian faith, so it does not bother me, but if you are very devout/don't like to read works critical of Christianity, this might not be the book series for you.

This book is filled with transliterations of Russian folklore names into English and they are not always the most accurate. I personally know absolutely nothing about Russian folktales so I honestly didn't notice until the author pointed it out in their note at the end of the book.

There are names that have the same ending in Russian, but are spelled two different ways in the English names for no other purposes than to be nicer to the English-reading eye.

If you are someone who cares a lot about the accuracy of Russian language or are already familiar with Russian folktale names, the authors choices in the transliteration may annoy you.

Finally, the age of the main character. By the end of the book Vasya is like 14. The book is set in 14th century Russia (Rus') in an aristocrat family's estate, so women are married off basically as soon as they have gone through puberty. I suppose it's "normal" for the time and social class, but still a little uncomfortable to me personally.

Rating Breakdown:

Characters: 9

Atmosphere: 10

Writing: 9

Plot:8

Intrigue: 8

Logic:7

Enjoyment: 8

Dialogue: 7

Total: 8.25/10 or 4.1 stars

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Yes, Chef! Christmas (review)

The basics of the plot are there is an adoptee who makes a Christmas wish to meet her birth family and know who she is while she joins a Christmas party.

The only thing I dislike highly is the fact they are bringing up JK Rowling's Harry Potter. *sighs*

BTW, on the map... Character is woman-->who is a pro/hobby artist (chef)-->who needs inspiration-->who solves inspiration crisis--> And the thing they make is wildly popular.

Bonus points are: +1 grinch

0.5 Tree discussion.

+0.5 random Santa claus( but isn't real)

+1 random dog.

+10 for lots of holiday cooking scenes.

+0.5 Some of the recipes were off...

+1 Set in New York.

+1 Christmas Crafts.

+1 No Church scenes

+1 for each of the gay characters that preached.

+2 Big Misunderstandings.

+1 (maybe more than one) for characters to set up MCs.)

+1 Ugly Christmas sweaters...

+5 Christmas fan does solve grinch hate of Christmas.

+ 0.5 Accent of MCs is not from the locale they claim they are from. (MML is from Canada, while his character is not.)

The best part of the movie, surprising me by far is the representation of adoption. It nailed it with a good landing. It got all of the anxieties and how adoptees feel down to a tee without pulling back on those things. I feel 50/50 on the "Has been there all along" thing, but I did appreciate capitalizing on the idea that adoptees have this undying feeling that it could be anyone nearby and they would never know. The supportive family was heartwarming too with minimal bickering, etc.

The worst part of the movie is the mention of Harry Potter. TT

I think Tia, even with a mediocre script, as these movies often are, did a really good job with getting the range of the character and the emotions right. She was my second favorite thing.

And while I thought the male lead was OK, the acting sometimes didn't land and the chemistry was off. I didn't believe the attraction between the two, and mostly it was on his end.

Honestly, I felt more chemistry between her and her bestie through an iPad screen than I did between the male lead and her. On sheer cooking chemistry, I felt more connected to that pairing, even if they semi-coded him gay. Hey, he can be bi or something. (Yes, pan and bi people don't exist in Christmas movies...)

But for me, it's a bit sad that adoption portrayals that are good are so thin. I mean I still think Supergirl, the first season probably hit me in the feels the hardest. And then Belle nailed it straight on what it's like to be a TRA. And this one showed how hard it is to search and the anxieties that come up with realism (which is odd for a Christmas Movie, but I'll take it.) TT Adoptee rep and good and messy adoptee rep is rare. And no, Harry Potter isn't it. I'd take off points for that. If your understanding of adoption is Harry Potter, please revise. I posted a paper on that on this blog too and all the ways it effed up. (Besides JK Rowling having so many problematic belief systems).

Hey, at least this year I watched two Christmas movies with Black women leads. The second one was worse though. TT The token gays in the second.

[the-acid-pear]

Actually. I'm going to be autistic on main. Because a whole liveblog review and many many posts are not enough. I need to stress just how impactful this scene was on a first blind watch.

Because, like, it's not just the fact they cut a hole on that old man to fuck him thru. It's everything about this movie and its framing that's insane.

Because let's be honest this franchise alone is a fucking ride. First movie is some pretty solid horror slow burn carried by my cancelled wife Dr. Josef Heiter played by Dieter Laser who's just so dramatic and entertaining there'd be no human centipede without him.

And it kinda shows on the sequel that removes the more... What's the word? Modest style of the first movie? And instead it goes for a darker more explicit more grossThey step on a newborn's head. He wrapped barbed wire around his cock. He even had a tragic and explicitly explained backstory. It's gross it's gritty it's mental and it's NOTHING like the first.

So okay, so far we got a serious but self aware movie, a "fuck the haters" edgy movie, and so you walk into the third movie not knowing what to expect. But you're soon greeted by the fact that the man himself is BACK and by god does he carry the movie again. Mostly, Butler Dwight played by Laurence R. Harvey does a great fucking job too I love that shortstacksorry I.

Anyway, needless to say this shit is a ride. Because these movies are constantly changing protagonists and settings to be meta about the prequels not being real somehow idk idc so you're thrown into this movie like you're thrown into a blender. I mentioned Butler but I did not mention Bill Boss the titular Old Man who, well, not quite yet. Because first we gotta be introduced to just how deranged this man is. If you thought the literal fucking former Nazi was insane and evil wait til you meet the average American citizen who just a few minutes into the movie waterboards a man with boiling water in very nasty graphic and maybe questionable veracity though I'd have to confirm I don't know if water causes 3rd degree burns or if just like I've heard actually happens kinda boils you alive and makes your skin fall off anyway why am I going into this tangent? Because this is a 100% medically accurate film anyway Bill Boss? He's batshit insane.

I still get upset when I remember that case btw the guy who got boiled alive ironically happened in a prison too I hate the prison system. Literally makes me sick.

But anyway. I don't even remember the chronological order of events but there's so much shit that happens that gets you not only introduced but entranced and if you're anything like me utterly lustful for this man such as: him panting w his tongue out while getting head in front of his accountant; him castrating a man (graphic) and rubbing his bald head w the man's blood; him eating not only dry clitorises but also the cooked testicles of former man. And also one of the funniest and best done scenes in the film where there's a false alarm and he thinks the prisoners are fucking coming for him so he goes from this ultra violent I'm The Boss Here 👿 large ham fucker to a literal mess hiding in his desk utterly terrified while his accountant is just like Dude.

But so far, the picture is Holy fuck nearly car crash near my house So far the picture is pretty clear! Large ham he talks the big talk he bosses everyone around he thinks he's a big deal but when left to fend off for himself he's but a sad pathetic mess of a man that can't do shit to save his life.

Which does, literally prove to be true. As he find himself alone now suddenly surrounded by all the men he has been torturing for god knows how long and they don't say a word they don't do anything but get closer as he gets increasingly worried and stars saying that they're all free! No paper work! No nothing! They can just go! He's BEGGING them to go because he KNOWS they're gonna fucking kill him if not, even saying that he has a heart condition and diabetes (epic callback to Heiter btw) as he gets on his fucking knees which is an insane thing to do in this setting but, hey.

And when you spell it out like this you'd say Luly What Is Wrong With You That Sounds Horrifying and well it is if I fucking say it like that but when you're watching unstopped this sequence of this guy being batshit insane screaming and torturing people and shit to have the tables turn on him so drastically is, extremely exciting.

And then the guy who lost his balls, remember him? He's the one to step forward. And this is something that has been said by the prisoners since the very start of the movie this was a ticking time bomb but he, and I quote, "not gonna fuck his stinky ass. Instead, [he]'ll fuck him in his soft kidney tissue". And then he fucking stabs him.

And by god does he fuck him in his soft kidney tissue as the crowd excitedly chants and I get so hard I turn grey from lack of blood in any other part of my body. And this is something I always mention but bro, bro by the love of god he says "do you like that, daddy?" as he's pounding his kidney bro. Like for the love of god Tom Six PLEASE. FUCK.

I seriously wonder if I'll ever witness something in cinema that gets me to change my bio. Impossible to know too since part of the joy was that by god I was not expecting our villain protagonist who on his own was a fucking surprise bc the way these movies work getting fucked in the soft kidney tissue. Like my fucking god. I'm sorry I lied about rewatching that movie today I know I should have it's literally so fucking good. Thank you Tom Six.

[silkchiffon]

some of my simmosa headcanons:

amy does the aster flores thing where she has a look for whenever she wants to be kissed.

jonah has letterboxd. he also runs an account for amy (named “my girlfriend amy” which appropriately gets changed to “my wife amy” once they get married) that blows up because she has funny things to say about films but no patience to document them. meanwhile his account has the patron tier, over a thousand films logged, and cleverly articulated reviews with meticulous ratings but only 9 followers.

amy wore the ring that jonah stole to get her measurements a lot while she was in california. mostly as a reminder of the mistake she’ll inevitably understand that she made but also because it’s strangely comfortable to have on.

jonah started a podcast right after the breakup. he stopped recording episodes after accidentally letting marcus move in with him and i’ve got no idea what it would be about but i think he would set up the stupidly costly mic that he bought online in front of amy’s plants and pretend they were his audience.

amy gets super into video games again over the pandemic. in between binge watching shows and attending corporate meetings, she becomes a real acnh woman, much to the dismay of emma. when she and jonah get back together, she forces him to play lovers in a dangerous spacetime. they kill it at that game in spite of whatever argument might ensue.

a list of some shows i think jonah has watched: succession, severance, the west wing, the wire, lost, black mirror, charmed.

the recall room stayed even after they converted cloud 9 into a fulfillment center since no one else knew about it, so amy and jonah still sneak in there sometimes for the fun of it. when they visit dina and the others for the first time, they disappear after ten minutes and everybody thinks they either got lost or crushed by some packages. (let’s be honest, they’re having another town hall moment.)

couples costumes they would do: elizabeth and philip jennings, climate change (she’s a polar bear and he’s a melting ice cap), romeo and juliet (specifically from the baz luhrmann movie obviously, though this is based off an original script of the pilot that has a nod to the fish tank scene, even though it was actually between jonah and dina but that is not important.)

so they’ve both always absolutely been bi to me. it’s an unspoken thing at work for jonah, so amy is the first person he actually tells, voices aloud that this is who he is a person, and that’s what she’s signing up for when they finally start dating. and it gets gears turning in her head. this is a lot of projection on my end but i think amy looks back at the women she filed away as formative role models in her head and wonders whether there was something more there. remembers how she always thought someone like missy jones looked so gorgeous but thought that had more to do with being blinded by her talent. jonah helps amy figure out her feelings for women once he finds out she thought staring at them all the time was a normal thing to do.

they have the same taste in people. i have a whole episode made up in my mind about them figuring this out and the discovery spiraling to the point that they have everybody in the break room naming truly anyone to see if they both have a crush on the person or not. they have multiple whiteboards with the most complicated system ranking countless celebrities and the whole thing ends when jonah asks amy if she actually finds him attractive but she successfully avoids giving him an answer by making out with him. she does btw but she would never tell him because it would go to his head immediately and he would never let her live it down.

amy wearing name tags with different names every single day is her way of playing around with gender but nobody is ready for that conversation yet.

[bryan360]

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….

(NO COPYING OR PLAGIARIZING FROM ME AND ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIEND’S WORK! THAT INCLUDES OUR CHARACTERS, DESIGNS, STUFF, ETC. IMPOSTERS AND SEXBOTS ARE NOT WELCOME TO FOLLOW MY BLOG WHATSOEVER! 😡 That will be all….I mean it.)

My 2023 item review - Dockable Case (w/ Screen Protector and Thumb Grips) - Part 2/Final [Jan. 9th, 2023]

Back for this continuing review, my friends! While already covered the first parter back in Jan. 26th, I’m still catching up to do by installing my Switch system alongside my Joy-Cons. Before of doing that though, I wanted to make sure my Switch system needs cleaning and dusting. Which we’re in for today’s continuing review. However expect this one will be the final before moving to other items I’m eager to share. 

⬆️ 14th through 15th Images

Here you can see I’ve two different wipes, a dust absorber, a cloth, and a screen protector onto my Switch for cleaning. There were came from the box after opening, BTW. Anyways, I handle well with the cleaning, wiping, and picking dust that I know what these are use for. At least I took about few minutes before moving to install the screen protector next.

⬆️ 16th Image

Now for the next one, I’ve been carefully to install a screen protector on my Switch system. It’s a good thing I did just a bit right, but got it fit nonetheless. Though I recommend some stickers and an alignment frame tool for extra help. At least if I had the alignment frame tool for my Switch system, but I haven’t. 😅

⬆️ 17th through 19th Image Nevertheless, at least now I’m moving on to placing the dockable case shorty afterwards. I started on the back where I needed to be careful of installing. Thankfully as always, it fit right in where I took some time of showing off. Though I would’ve prefer changing the color for my dockable case than this, but probably next time. Regardless, it does stand out as I expected; especially for the material as I holding with my hands. I’ll get to that for later.

⬆️ 20th through 23rd Images

I’m now doing with my Joy-Cons that needed covering, but hold on. You may asking “are these new Joy-Cons instead of my original Joy-Cons? The gray ones?” Well ever since my original Joy-Cons had been worn out a bit; especially the last time where I show off the R button from the right sided Joy-Con. ➡️ Link Here

Not only that, It also came with an issue of stick drift which is unfortunate. Though I know I should get it fix by watching some tutorial videos like VK’s YouTube Channel if learning right. (Don’t know of fixing the R button, though) Nevertheless, I asked my mom to buy me second set of Joy-Cons; which happened back in April. 13th, 2021. That’s my story of it, but hoping to expect as I going through this review and saving my new Joy-Cons test later soon. 

Anyways, back to setting up my new Joy-Cons to cover up; which I have when placing from bottom to top. Though I had to switch up from top to bottom, but at least fits right up as well. Just making sure it doesn’t have some scratches for each Joy-Cons. On the plus side, it’s what I’m hoping for so I don’t leave out any smudge stuff when holding my hands. Mostly my right sided Joy-Con when I’m pressing the A button for example.

⬆️ 24th Image 

And now it’s finally completed! All secure with a screen protector upfront. As I picked up with my hands, it felt smooth due to the materials of my dockable case. I looked up that it made with "shock-absorbent and anti-scratch PC" material. Sounds promising, right? I'll see if it can hold up until I'll get a new case soon. This time, I’m picking a theme like blue or the Super Mario themed case.

⬆️ 25th through 28th Images 

Not done with this review though, I have a set of joy-con thumb grips/caps to pick on. There are ten total of caps in two each: red, blue, black, and purple with paws. The difference between four black caps is smaller while the other was a bit big; though at least not way too big. If I had to pick though is going with red and blue for each joy-cons. Does make sense of having both new controllers I’m having. However how well protective for each controlling sticks on top? They’re pretty alright that it made in different material. I tested out when pressing and moving them; especially in games like Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Very appreciate of using the caps so far, but I’m okay with the red and blue ones.

My Overall Thoughts:  After owning one of last year’s Christmas gifts, the dockable case and other accessories is something I’m hoping for. These includes a screen protector right after cleaning and ten total thumb grips/caps. The main item itself though was good too. It’s made with "shock-absorbent and anti-scratch PC", but felt smooth when holding both hands as to playing games in handheld mode. Do hope this holds longer as it should and to everyone can get one of those. If you had your Nintendo Switches that is. My mom ordered from Amazon.com, BTW. ⬇️ 

Link Here #2

Hope you guys enjoying my first review of 2023, but as always be back for more throughout this year. For now though, I’m taking some breaks until another day arrives. 

Previously ⬇️ 

My 2023 item review - Dockable Case (w/ Screen Protector and Thumb Grips) - Part 1[Jan. 9th, 2023] - Link Here #3

Tagged: @murumokirby360​ @carmenramcat​ @alexander1301​ @rafacaz4lisam2k4​

[therubyreader]

My Review of American Royals by Katharine McGee

See a full list of my book reviews here

Review Word Count: 1,195

I know this is usually where I put my spoiler warning for my reviews but since I have decided that based on the nature of this book there aren't any major plot points that I want to talk about so this review will be spoiler free.

I will give this disclaimer though, if you're a die hard fan of this book then this review isn't for you. That isn't to say I'm going to drag this book through hell and back, but it honestly wasn't my cup of tea. I will be talking about the things in this book that I personally didn't like so if you don't want to see your favorite book besmirched by some random bitch on tumblr dot com then please keep scrolling.

On to the review!

American Royals gives all of us history nerds a peek into an alternate reality where George Washington became the king of the United States instead of its first president and how that would look in modern day. In this reality we also see how the peerage system works in the States and also how many monarchies in other parts of the world have survived. For example the French and Russian monarchies and the German principalities are alive and well in this book which was a very interesting touch that I enjoyed.

The book centers around the lives of the modern royals, Crown Princess Beatrice who is set to be America's first queen regnant, her younger sister Princess Samantha who is the exact opposite of Beatrice and suffers from an extreme case of middle child syndrome coupled with spare syndrome, and Samantha's twin Prince Jefferson a.k.a. Jeff (side note I think the name Jeff is gross and I agree with Daphne on calling him Jefferson) who is quite literally just there, chilling.

Now while I was intrigued with the concept of an alternate reality where the United States is a monarchy I honestly did not expect the book to go the way that it did. I know that just writing what life would be like with an American monarchy wouldn't sell and would be extremely boring, but let me tell you I didn't not expect to essentially get into a written telenovela. You get all of the classic traits of a novela, three (or maybe four, depends on how you count it) love triangles stacked on top of each other, betrayal, romance, dramatics, and then someone just randomly dying to advance the plot. What more can you want?

I say that but in reality I wasn't really a fan of it. Sure if you like soap operas and reality tv this book is for you, but I'm not really a fan of either so I honestly got to a point at the end where all of the plot points converged and it all just got so overwhelming for me that I struggled to finish the last, like 10% of the book. That being said I'm not going to keep reading this series, though I did Google if Beatrice ended up with my favorite boy Connor just because he was my favorite and I needed to know.

Speaking of characters I actually enjoyed all of them, I was just kind of annoyed with the insane amount of love triangles happening to them. I honestly didn't hate Daphne, I don't condone literally any of her actions because she was evil but I sympathized with her motives. In the words of a wise man, "cool motive, still murder," (no she didn't murder anyone btw, but that would've been a great plot point).

Though if you read my Gods of Jade and Shadow review you might expect my favorite character to be Nina, in Latina solidarity, but she might've actually been my least favorite character. Actually her and Daphne are tied in that spot. Main reason being how they're both juxtaposed in their endeavors to win over Jefferson, and I really want to tell them it is quite literally not that serious. We get some not very feminist differences between them, Nina is "not like other girls" and a normal girl while Daphne is the embodiment of femininity and has the makings of a princess. Also Jeff fully cheated on Daphne and then broke up with her over the phone the next day and then tried to get at Nina. And then he proceeded to play with both of their emotions and yet both of these girls were fighting over him? Those are some serious red flags, I'm going to need these girls to get up, they deserve better.

I did honestly like the relationship between Beatrice and Sam, you get to see how they're opposites for the same reason, if that makes sense. Beatrice is meant to be the next queen so she has to be perfect and because Sam is the spare she wants to be the opposite of Beatrice and a party girl who's impulsive and puts herself first. I genuinely enjoyed their dynamic and how they play off of one another.

I didn't like Jeff at all, which honestly he might be my least favorite character and Nina and Daphne get the spot right above him. Literally this dude contributes nothing to the plot besides being there for two girls to fight over him and have their own character growth because of him. It's not very feminism or Bechdel test of them (though they do have a conversation which might pass if I remember correctly). The author even tells us in the story that Sam and Jeff are supposed to be very close but we don't see it, there's only maybe two instances where you can see their close bond but really nothing beyond that. Also there is literally no interactions between Jeff and Beatrice despite them being siblings, and I get that part of the plot is that they're not super close with her and they haven't been since they were kids but like come on, they couldn't have had at least one conversation in the whole book.

I do feel like the book was definitely marketed more towards a teen audience which is partially what I get for being a grown ass adult (I'm only in my early 20s so like technically I'm closer in age to a 19 year old than a 30 year old) reading YA fiction. But either way even if I was still a teen I don't think I would've enjoyed the book more than I do now, partially due to me being a weird kid who liked to consume media that was action heavy rather than romance heavy, which honestly still holds true to this day. I will say the book isn't bad, it's just honestly not for me, I can appreciate the writing and imagination that comes with creating this alternate reality, which major props to author for committing to doing that. Overall rating, not for me but for someone else out of ten. Even though I said I wouldn't continue to read the series if someone has a really good pitch I'll perhaps give it a shot but you have to do some serious convincing.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Understanding Willow”

Damn this episode was hyped up. Everyone was looking forward to this. Everyone wanted to know how this was going to go down. I did too and when we got it we were not disappointed. 

However it did prove why I don’t participate in fan theories because we’re all usually wrong all the time. So I say just shut up and be patient. But enough of why I’m not invited to discussions. Lets get it on!

We start the cold open with a Skara sighting! I still think her design is cute. She inviting her friends to her fifteenth birthday party. Neat. We see a bit of Amity’s dynamic with the two. Boscha is actively mean to Willow and Luz while the other two seem more neutral. 

“It’s fun because it’s stupid.” This was hilariously adorable. 

This was adorably hilarious.

Again we get another quick shot of how Boscha and her group pick on Willow. Skara doesn’t actively join but she does laugh at Willow which does suck. And we know Amity used to put down Willow too. My lumity loving heart is guessing that she’s stopped because of Luz’s influence but it’s just a guess. Still not cool that she doesn’t stop Boscha but that’s for another episode.

That must be an odd sensation.

We cut to photo memory class(?) and it’s big brain time again. What track would this be in? What purpose would this serve? Who would need to pull out memories with tweezers? If this process could permanently damage a person why would you let teenagers do it to other teenagers? It’s a madhouse I tells ya. A madhouse.

Anyway. 

So Willow was always a cutie.

Luz notices the Amity memory, but Willow asks her to drop it and leave it alone. Which she doesn’t do. It’s another character flaw of Luz that we’re going to see more of. She always has good intentions but she tends to overstep her bounds. It’s (to me) another form of being innocently insensitive, a common character flaw in characters like Luz.

Amity notices the memory too when she passes by the room. She wants to put their previous friendship behind them and does the reasonable thing of setting the memory on fire. Which sets all the memories on fire because of course it does. It’s fire! Dammit Amity, I thought you were the smart one. 

“I’ve connected the dots.” “You haven’t connected shit.” “I’ve connected them.”

We start the B-plot with Gus. Apparently after being kicked out of the Human Appreciation Society, he’s been looking for another club to join and is trying the school paper. He has to interview someone to get in but can’t decide on who.

Is it hot in here or am I just dying?

Willow starts freaking out and getting all sweaty and everyone (you included) figures out why immediately.

And there it is.

So Willow is going to to bye-bye for good unless they do something. So Luz takes everyone to the smartest person she knows because it’s clearly not Amity right now.

It’s a good thing you went to Eda and not a teacher or Willow’s parents.

So Eda explains that they can recover Willow’s mind before all the memories are permanently destroyed by physically sending someone in there to recover and repair the memories.

“Be still my fantasy loving heart!”

I agree with Luz. I love the journey to the center of the mind trope. But Eda believes in the buddy system so someone has to go with her and since we need Gus for the B-plot, it’s Amity.

Luz and Amity enter Willow’s mind and it takes a quick second to organize itself to a form that they can perceive because it’s the mind. That’s kind what it does. It likes to organize things to recognize patterns and because magic. 

Luz and Amity start fixing the memories. Apparently, Willow and Amity were really good friends when they were little and even Amity feels bad about almost getting rid of them. But there’s one memory that Amity doesn’t want Luz to see. 

Meanwhile in the B-plot, Gus is still trying to find someone to interview. Eda suggests herself because she’s Eda, and King demands attention. They don’t care about Gus’s whatever; they just like attention.

Back in Willow’s mind, Luz and Amity are going a good job repairing the memories but something is undoing all their work. We get a cute moment between Luz and Amity that I want to talk about more when I do my lumity analysis after I finish the reviews.

BTW, I’m going to do a lumity analysis.

They discover that the monster undoing all their work wasn’t actually that one fire Digimon whose name escapes me, but was actually the Inner Willow. The Inner Willow reveals that Willow actually resents Amity for ending their friendship and letting her new friends pick on her for years.

Now she has the opportunity to let out all her anger and hate like The Emperor’s dialogue in a STAR WARS movie. I know I’ve made that joke before but it still applies. 

Inner Willow plays back the memory of when Amity ended their friendship. We know they said that Amity did it because Willow was bad at magic but the acutal memory is a little off. Amity reveals why as well as the truth on why she really ended her friendship with Willow.

Amity’s parents never liked Willow because she wasn’t from an elite witch family. Of course Amity didn’t care. She was a little kid and kids don’t care about stuff like that. Amity’s parents say that she can have one of the friends that they picked out for her. (So Amity’s parents don’t even see Skara and Boscha as people either, huh?) Turns out they were brats even back then too. I guess Skara mellowed out over time. When Amity refuses, her parents promise that they’ll use their influence to make sure that Willow can’t get into Hexside.

This a threat but I always wondered why it was a threat. The best guesses are that Amity and Willow wouldn’t be able to see each other at all, Willow wanted to go to Hexside, Hexside is one of the better schools on The Boiling Isles, Hexside was the closest school to Willow’s house and going somewhere else would be too much of a pain in the ass. Whatever the case, the threat worked and Amity broke off their friendship in her birthday. Amity’s, not Willow’s. Pronouns.

Amity can’t undo the years of pain she’s put on Willow, but she can promise to make things better from now on. Amity apologizes and promises that she will try to stop Boscha and her gang from picking on her. Egg on her face, huh?

Hayden Christensen is going to show up next. I can feel it.

Luz and Amity repair the memories and leave Willow’s mind. In a very mature twist for a Disney show, Willow admits she can’t forgive Amity yet. There were literal years of pain between them. But it’s a start. And the episode ends with Gus interviewing Hooty and that goes exactly the way you think it would. Hoot.

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

This episode was everything people wanted and more. The drama, the depth, the heart all came across strong here. Not a major turning point for the plot (because I know some people who dismiss every episode that isn’t about the main plot as filler. BTW fuck you guys), but this was a major turning point for the characters. Luz may be the main character of the show, but the main characters of the episode were Willow and Amity. 

If I had to find any faults it’s that I didn’t think the B-plot was that great. I don’t think Gus is very funny yet. Especially when you put him next to two comedic powerhouses like King and Eda. Other than that, this was a mind blowing episode. And it’s not even the first one!

[allthingsfern]

From my own experience switching from Nikon DSLR to Sony mirrorless

Why switch to mirrorless, that is, what are the features in a new Nikon mirrorless that make it more appealing than a DSLR?

I am almost certain all new Nikon Z cameras have a new Z lens mount, but there is an adapter you can use for older lenses. (See Ken Rockwell below.)

Go to a camera store and get a feel for the mirrorless camera models you are interested in. (As part of this, once you find the camera you want, I recommend buying it from that establishment, even if it is a little more expensive. When I bought my Sony and the 24-105mm lens, I happened to be approached by a salesman who became “my camera guy,” a friendly, knowledgeable salesman with a great sense of humor who did not try to sell me stuff but listened to me and worked with me to help me make a decision. Every time I go back to Mike’s Camera in Sacramento, whenever I need anything, I go to him. When I first walked in, I was freaking out about buying a new set up and he laughed with me, calmed me down, and shared his extensive knowledge. That is priceless, even when I disagree with him, which is maybe twice in 3 years and was not about anything major.)

Think about how, even though a mirrorless camera is lighter, depending on the size and weight of the lens you put on it, overall the smaller/lighter mirrorless winds up being about the same weight as a heftier DSLR.

Take a look at the Z series menu and if (or see how much) it differs from the menu of you Nikon DSLR you own now. I say this, because you may wind up needing to learn a whole new system, which may open you up to perhaps considering a different brand. I love Nikons, and my Sony rocks, but I also have learned that any of the major camera brands is going to be a good choice. (Yes, @stephiramona, @heterotopian, and @tvoom, I even think Canon makes great cameras.)

Do your research online, but really only choose a couple sources you trust. My recommendations (and yes, both have A LOT of content that you may have to dig through, but both have been around for a long time):

Ken Rockwell has been my number source for equipment decisions since I discovered him about 7 years ago when my cheap kit lens for my used D50 broke. (And, btw, I checked what he had to say about that lens, because I wanted to buy a newer lens, and he highly recommended that old kit lens, so I saved money and bought the same one used, for under $100). His Website’s design is outdated, but he consistently offers insightful, hands-on advice in plain English, and he even writes users guides for Nikon and other camera makes. He was instrumental in helping me decide between the new (back when I bought my Sony) D850 and the a7r3. I took about 6 months to decide, doing research and going from several camera choices of the D850 and a7r3. Then I walked into Mike’s Camera, met my camera guy, had a quick meltdown and a good laugh, and explored both models in the store. BTW, my camera guy started giving me info about the 2 cameras, but he quickly realized I had done my research and he just answered questions or gave opinions when I asked his opinion. That is why he is my camera guy. And BTW, I am not a camera gear junkie like Pete @tvoom. I own my 2 cameras, each with its own lens (a 55mm and a 24-105mm) and I have some Peak Design accessories. (I LOVE my little camera sling bag and their straps.) Anyway, here is the link to Rockwell’s Nikon mirrorless page: https://www.kenrockwell.com/nikon/mirrorless/index.htm

The Northrups, but mostly Tony Northrup, since he is a tech nerd and even has online tutorials for the more popular cameras. I often go back to his a7r3 online tutorial, He does extensive review and comparisons, and he and Chelsea often discuss why they use specific brand (Last time I recall them doing this, Chelsea discussed why her camera of choice was the Sony a7r4 and Tony, I believe, was choosing a higher end Canon.) https://www.youtube.com/user/VistaClues

[prettybiching]

well since requests are open for John King 👀👀 (i’ve never actually requested anything so don’t judge) what if the reader is somehow introduced to him through one of his co-anchors (who knows the reader has a crush bc of all that glorious election coverage), and we see what would happen maybe on a first date?? it doesn’t have to be smutty but i certainly wouldn’t be opposed..i love your writing btw!!! blessing us in this (small) John King fandom

Dessert

Pairing: John King x fem! reader Warning: 18+ mature scenes (oral f receiving), swear words and sexual innuendoes. Viewer’s discretion is advised, you’re responsible for your media consumption. Word Count: 2.5k words Note: I changed it up a bit, hope you don’t mind :)

Anderson Cooper, ever the stoic news anchor loved to play matchmaker for his friends. It was a trait Andy had managed to rub off on him, but he enjoyed it more than he'd like to admit.

Y/N had involuntarily become the latest victim of his match-making tendencies.

She didn't mean to babble out her newfound infatuation with his colleague, John King, to him but Anderson and Andy had managed to get her drunk, absolutely wasted. Before she could stop herself, she was slipping out all the unholy thoughts she'd been dreaming since election week.

The teasing that followed was relentless. It didn't help that Y/N had preliminarily promised to accompany Anderson to DC. She just hoped she wouldn't have to face the silver fox himself.

-----

She knew something was terribly wrong the moment she saw the wicked smile etched on Anderson's face.

"Uhm, why are you smiling like that?" she asked, her eyes wide with trepidation as Anderson let himself into her hotel room.

"You, young lady," he trailed, heading straight for the unpacked suitcase that laid on her bed, "have a date tonight."

Her mouth hung wide open in disbelief and horror, "What?!"

"Yup," he answered, not bothering to turn around, ruffling the contents of her luggage, every so often examining the articles of clothing.

"I don't wanna go on a date," she whined, throwing her head back. Dragging her feet to where Anderson stood, making an absolute wreck of her belongings, she plopped herself on the bed, tugging out her lips and staring at him with pleading eyes.

At last, he halted at his action, clumsily throwing the blouse he had in his hands in the briefcase before turning towards her. "Trust me, you'll make me the godfather of your future children after tonight."

"T-tonight?" she sputtered, jolting out of bed. There was no way she was going on that date now, she didn't even know who he was!

"Anderson, I love you, but a heads up would've been nice," she sighed, placing her hands on her hips.

Anderson stroked his chin for a second, in thought before scrunching his face, "Nope, where's the fun in that?"

Y/N gave him a deadpan look, slumping her shoulders. She knew sooner or later, she'd have to accept defeat. There was no way she was winning against Anderson Cooper. "Will, you at least tell me who it is?"

He smirked, mischief was written all across his face as he shook his head, "You already know what I'm about to say."

She groaned, taking a few steps towards him before clumsily planting her forehead on his shoulder. "You're the worst!"

Wrapping his arms around her figure, he let out a laugh, his body vibrating beneath her. "You know you love me."

"No, I don't."

------

After Y/N's long foreseen defeat, Anderson dragged her to go shopping with him stating that her limited clothing 'just wouldn't do'.  She went along without a fight, admitting that she didn't pack anything she could wear on a date.

Despite going along with her best friend's words and having full faith in his match-making abilities, she wasn't sure how much of a success the night would be. Not when her mind could only fixate on the image of a certain news anchor between her thighs.

However, she didn't want her silly fantasies to get in the way of her actual love life and with the help of Anderson's picky taste, decided on a dress for the evening. Although the black half-slit bodycon wasn't something she'd usually wear, she felt confident in it, and that was all that mattered.

As she was on her way to the outdoor French restaurant near Washington Harbour that her date had picked for the night. She knew the restaurant was fancy from all the reviews she'd seen online.

As the uber driver drove closer and closer to the destination, Y/N was a bundle of nerve. She didn't know what to expect, hell, she knew nothing about him at all aside from Anderson's confidence that the night would go well.

The car came to a screeching halt in front of the park-like restaurant, fairy lights and intertwining vines of leaves decorating the area. 'What's the worst that could happen?" she let out a sharp breath, trying to calm her nerves as she exited the vehicle.

She made her way to the reception, her eyes advertently scanning her surroundings to spot a familiar face. "Hi, my name's Y/N L/N, I believe I have a reservation?"

The receptionist gave her a practised smile before leading her to her table, "right this way, Ms L/N."

Y/N followed her lead, her steps being clumsy from the knot of nerves forming in her stomach and her heart stopped when she saw the man standing up as she made her way towards him. John fucking King.

She was going to kill Anderson.

Unable to move a muscle, she froze at her feet as he approached her. He had a crisp perfectly fitted black suit on and a warm smile on his lips that had her knees buckling. She just hoped she didn't look like a lunatic in front of him.

"You okay there, Y/N?" he mused, flashing his teeth.

Crossing her arms across her chest, she opened her mouth, trying to form a coherent thought. "I- yes, I'm okay," she stammered, squirming under John's unmoving gaze.

She had met John a couple of times in the past, none of the interactions was long enough to be considered memorable. She was always afraid of making a fool out of herself. Seemed like she was compensating for all of those in one go.

John didn't look convinced but didn't push her on it any further. Instead, he extended his elbow towards her with a quirk of his brow, "shall we?"

Awkwardly she interlocked her arms with his and followed his lead, all the while making sure she didn't fall face-first onto the floor.

They stopped in front of a table in the back corner of the patio; mostly hidden away from plain sight. Y/N smiled, knowing Anderson must've told him that she preferred such setting.

John quickly untangled their arms, preventing her from moving further as he pulled out a chair, gesturing towards her to sit. She flashed him a grateful smile, overwhelmed by all of his efforts. Was she ever going to stop smiling in front of him?

Once she was seated, John took his place across from her, fixing his suit jacket as he did. She tried her best to divert her gaze from his hands, but it seemed near impossible. She was sure she'd faint before the night came to an end.

Finishing his task, he turned to face her, his entire focus towards her.  Clearing her throat, Y/N shifted at her spot. "how awfully did Anderson bully you into this?" she chuckled, trying to soothe her nerves.

Squinting his eyes, he tilted his head sideways before shrugging, "he didn't bully me at all really. He merely put forth the suggestion, and I was down."

Pursing her lips, she paused for a moment before shaking her head, laughing. It wasn't until she took in John's earnest expression did she realise he wasn't joking. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "However," he began, a slight remnant smile gracing his lips as he wriggled his index finger at Y/N, "I did tell Anderson to tell you, but he was insistent, and you remain oblivious about our date."

Her mouth hung open in disbelief as she leaned back into her chair, muttering through gritted teeth, "I'll kill him."

John let out a laugh, his eyes gleaming with amusement as he insisted, "Please don't. I have much to thank him for."

She tilted her head towards him in confusion, waiting for him to continue.

John averted his gaze, a nervous chuckle erupting from his throat, "I might've never had the courage to ask you out without his meddling."

She blinked, her eyes widening slightly at the revelation. "Y-you wanted to ask me out?" she sputtered, leaning forward.

As if her words had flicked a switch in him, he straightened his back, the earlier nervousness was long gone as a smug smile took over his features. "Also..." he trailed, interlocking his hands on the table.

"He may or may not have accidentally spilt that you have a crush on me?"

"No." "Yes." "No, shut up."

"Truce?" he quirked his brow, reaching his hand across the table for hers. Y/N eyed his hand warily before letting out a sigh and giving in. "Fine."

"I can't believe you two were basically conspiring against me this whole time," she whined, her lips tugging out into a pout.

She should've known Anderson wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut for too long. However, she couldn't believe her own eyes that the gorgeous man in front of her reciprocated her feelings.

Unaware of the butterflies fluttering in her stomach, John cooed squeezing her hand, "but wouldn't you say it's come to a favourable conclusion?"

She couldn't deny that everything had worked out in her favour. Without her best friend's meddling, she would've never gotten the courage to admit her feelings for John.

Once the pout disappeared from her face, John reclined back into his chair, her hand still in his. "Now, how about we get started with some wine?"

------------

The date was a definite success, she would say. After the initial awkward passed, with some alcohol in her system, she found herself more comfortable around John. Not to mention that he was effortlessly the most charming man she'd ever encountered.

She had tried to restrain herself from staring at him when he made the smallest movement, but it was near impossible. She was completely enamoured by him. All the flirty smiles, casual brushing of their legs, teasing touches and lingering glances didn't help either. He knew what he was doing, that smug bastard.

John was in the middle of an amusing story, something that had happened at work that week. Y/N wished she could say she was listening, but she was far more distracted by his hands that he sporadically used as he spoke.

"Y/N? he called her name, snapping her back to reality.

"Yes?" she answered, tugging in her bottom lip as she stared at him with round eyes.

He smirked, having caught her not-so-subtle gaze. "I said, I was hoping to have some dessert if you would allow it."

Her lips twitched, not missing the mischief behind his eyes as he spoke. She would've missed it if it weren't for the way his pupils dilated as he uttered the words.

Wordlessly, she leaned forward, reaching her hand out to touch the side of his face. John tilted his head, kissing the inside of her palm as her fingers hovered over the dip of his jaw, the scent of his aftershave making her heart pound a little faster.

"Yes, of course," she murmured, almost inaudibly, her eyes locked into his aquatic ones. "Although, it'd like for you to have it elsewhere."

On cue, John pulled his hand back and fixed his tie before calling out for their server, asking for the bill. The two bickered for a moment, Y/N insisting they split the bill, but he was having none of it, ending the argument by saying she could pay for their next date.

Yes, the next one. There was going to be another one after this evening. It made Y/N smile more than it should've.

He drove the two back to his place, the car ride going painfully slow. Neither of them spoke during the journey. Instead, John kept his hand on her thigh, the hand sliding closer to her heated core throughout the ride.

As soon as the door to John's apartment closed shut, his lips were pressed hard against hers as he led the two towards the dining table. She felt the table dig into her hips from behind as he hovered over her. He wasted no time in grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up on the surface, moving his lips down to her jaw and neck as he hummed against her skin.

She ran a hand through his hair, breathing in as his other hand ghosted over her hip, running down then back up before it made its way underneath her dress, tugging at her panties. “Are you fond of these?”

“Yes,” She breathed out, her eyelashes fluttering, “Don’t destroy my clothes.”

John smirked, then leaned over her, kissing her again as he focused on pulling the tie open as he pushed her back flat against the cool wood. There was no barrier but her dress between the two. He quickly unzipped the back of her dress before she shrugged it off her body and threw it to a corner. Grabbing one of her thighs, he pushed her legs up and apart. He dropped down to one knee between her legs, hooking his arms under her as he pulled her closer and dropped his head to kiss her thigh slowly, tongue darting out onto her skin.

She was already breathing hard, her mind a little fuzzy from the wine, skin burning with every touch. John was overwhelming, in an incomprehensible way, and she lifted her hips as he rid her of her underwear in a flash, fingers sliding across her slowly.

Moaning, she slid her hand through his hair, falling flat on the table as his tongue wandered over her skin, teasing and sliding until he pushed a finger into her slowly and buried his face between her legs.

“Darling,” He urged her, looking up briefly as the vibrations of his words made her moan again. “Feel free to be loud.”

Her eyes rolled back into her head as he began to move his finger, adding a second one as his tongue moved against her clit, pressing against her as his hands expertly moved against her skin, pulling her closer and then pressing a hand against her stomach as the pressure began to build. She rolled her hips forward on the table, breathing harder and harder as she tried to hold back, but the noises kept getting louder as she pressed against him and softly whispered his name.

He was relentless as he moved faster, jerking her hips almost fully off the table as he groaned against her, sucking on her clit harshly and moving his fingers faster, curling them up and angling his wrist. Her other hand jerked down, grabbing onto his hand as she gasped and arched off the surface, the other hand tugging on his hair as she jerked against him, feeling the waves of warmth and overwhelming shock as her orgasm hit her hard enough that he turned his head and bit down on her thigh, prolonging the aftershocks.

When he pulled back, he moved his hand, sliding it out of her and then bringing it up to her mouth, pushing her lips open. Obliging, she took his digits in, moaning as she tasted herself, her eyes fixated on his intense gaze. Pulling them out, he closed his eyes, licking his fingers clean and looked up at her with a smile.

“Would you like to stay for the evening?”

As if there was any doubt.

[omoi-no-hoka]

I read your post on how you got started in the translation industry and I was wondering if it is possible to get an entry/basic level translation gigs in Japan with N3-level proficiency or if even those want at least N2 proficiency. Also since you've been living and working in Japan for a long time, what advice would you give those wanting to work in Japan in regards to avoiding black companies?

Finding Translation Work in Japan

Hi there! Thank you for your ask. 

To be honest, “translation” is so very broad that I can’t give you a simple “yes” or “no” as an answer. My answer is “Maybe” with the following caveats. For the sake of this post, I’m going to assume that your native language is English, or that you have native-level proficiency, and you plan to do English↔Japanese translation in a Japanese workplace.

Field of Translation

This is perhaps the biggest factor. I understand that in order to translate legal or medical things, there is a particular certification that you must obtain. This requires N1/native level proficiency in both languages. I have thought of attempting to obtain the medical one, but I’m not ready for it. I would need to study a LOT of terminology in both English and Japanese.

As for other fields, I think it really depends on the company and how much they are willing to teach you on the job. Also, depending on the field, many field-specific terminology may be katakana words derived from English, meaning that while they will be new Japanese words for you, they will not be entirely new words.

But if I were to work in, say, the banking industry doing translation, I would certainly have a hard time learning all the words, especially if I didn’t already have some sort of background in banking in English.

For example, I specifically work as a translator for a company that provides services to other very big companies that you have heard of. Technically, I work for an anti-malware software company and the technical support aspect of it. When a product is updated, I will translate internal manuals and things like that. I also translate the Big Wig conversations, which are done in English since the client and our company’s HQs are in America, so that our local guys know what’s going on. I also create/translate/edit/take minutes for presentations given to Big Wigs. I also handle all IT issues in our project, because our IT ticketing system is 100% in English. ANYTHING English-related is funneled to me.

Contractually-speaking, I do not work for any other clients. But since I’m the only translator in our company in Hokkaido capable of interpretation as well, I am often asked to assist under the table. (Translation and interpretation are two entirely different beasts, btw.) 

While I don’t have a background in IT or computers or anything like that, since most of the terminology is in katakana and I’m not absolutely clueless about computers, my learning curve wasn’t too sharp. I struggled more with bullshit corporate acronyms and the formalities of Business Japanese (sonkeigo and kenjougo). 

A person holding an N2 is considered capable of Business Japanese. Even if you have extensive knowledge in the field of translation, you will have a VERY difficult time adjusting to the Japanese-language workplace if you are not good with Business Japanese. From that standpoint, I cannot recommend someone at N3 to enter a Japanese company to do translation. It will be grueling. I was N1 when I joined the company, and I still had difficulty composing emails and other workplace-related words I hadn’t come across. 

Start with Freelance Translation/Proofreading

There was a year or so where I had N1 but was still teaching English. I found freelance English-Japanese translation jobs online. Lots of them were one-shot things, like “translate this brochure about our little tiny town” or “I am a researcher who has written a paper on Persian-French relations during the 16th century, and I need someone to proofread my English.” Lol that one was pretty specific and paid very handsomely. By doing well on a job, I established a relationship with that client and I would get more work either from them or someone they knew. Prices are fixed before translation. 

The average price for translation is 3-7 yen per character (if the original text is in Japanese) or per word (if the original text is in English). The price increases depending on the complexity of the material. The brochure about the little town was 4 yen per character, but the research paper was 9 yen word (despite the fact I was only proofreading instead of translating because it was incredibly complex). 

Proofreading goes alongside translation. I didn’t really do much of that, but you can see a price range of 1-5 yen per character/word. If you are N3, proofreading is great way to get your feet wet!

NOTE: Do not take on proofreading or translation jobs for a language that is not your native language. No matter how good you think your Japanese is, it will not be good enough to proofread. Even if you have an N1, you will miss things. Even I, as a translator with almost 3 years experience in my field, always have a Japanese coworker proofread everything I translate into Japanese, and 9 times out of 10 they fix at least one thing. 

How to Avoid Black Companies

In Japan, some companies are labeled ブラック企業 “black kigyou,” which means that they violate labor laws in some heinous fashion. Denying pay, benefits, or leave, forcing employees to do grueling amounts of overtime that can lead to 過労死 karoushi (death by overwork), etc. These companies will rob you of your sanity at best and your life at worst, and are to be avoided at all costs. 

When I was searching for a position teaching English, I googled reviews of each big Eikaiwa school, like AEON or whatever else there is. Many previous teachers air their grievances on places like glassdoor.com. It was easy to learn which schools I should avoid.

Also, I applied online to many different big Eikaiwas. Three of them (sorry, I can’t remember which) immediately emailed me back and said I was hired, without an interview or anything. That should be a HUGE red flag to you right there. Why are they so desperate to hire that they’ll take you without even giving you an interview? And even if they do later say, “Your hiring is dependent upon an interview,” that means that their initial contact email was fraudulent. 

Research the company as best you can. See if you can find someone who has worked for them. Beware of smaller, private companies. They tend to fly under the radar and are prone to be even shittier. Then again, there was a woman who died of death by over work a few years ago and she worked for the biggest advertising firm in Japan.

Here’s an article from Business Insider about karoushi and black companies.

A 2016 report examining karoshi cases and their cause of death found that more than 20% of people in a survey of 10,000 Japanese workers said they worked at least 80 hours of overtime a month.

The Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry defines the threshold for karoushi as greater than 80 hours of overtime a month. Since this article was posted in 2018, a new law regarding overtime has been implemented by the Japanese government. Now there is a legal cap on overtime of 100 hours per month (and 720/year) for busier months, with the general upper limit set at 45 hours per month (360 hours/year). 

Even if a company isn’t black, be prepared for overtime. My company makes sure that every employee adheres to the 45 hours per month limit...as best they can. If you follow this blog you know that I have done 60 and 70 hours of overtime in certain months, because I am our only translator and when shit hits the fan I’m the only one who can handle it. 

However, my company is very good about making sure that I receive all of my overtime pay. Every single minute of overtime I do is properly reimbursed. Sometimes this means that if I work 60 hours one month, I will only report 45 that month, and then report 15 extra hours the next month. Or I will take a couple days off but claim that I worked (with my bosses’ approval, of course). 

I can’t speak for other companies for sure, but I fear that when this law was introduced in 2019, many companies did not change their business models and instead forbid employees from reporting overtime that exceeded legal limits, meaning they would be going without compensation. 

So be aware that if you are going to work in a Japanese company, you are likely to have overtime. Some people don’t, and congratulations to them! But it is an extremely real possibility. Make sure that you can handle it physically and mentally, and that you are being properly compensated. After my first month of Big Overtime, my boss told me, “I’m surprised that you managed to do all that. I thought that Americans had a poor work ethic compared to Japanese people, but now I see that’s not true.”

kinda racist, but thx

If you have an interview and it goes well and you receive a contract, ask to take the contract and have time to think about it. Then, have a Japanese person you trust read the contract and make sure there is nothing shady hidden in there. Contracts and legalese are difficult enough in my own native language--I don’t trust myself to catch something in Japanese. 

If your friend thinks that the contract is fair as well, and if you feel like the company has a good atmosphere, take the job. That is what I did, and I am glad I did.

Translation and Interpretation

A lot of people don’t know the difference between “translation” and “interpretation” and use them interchangeably, but they are actually entirely different tasks that require different skills. 

Translation: the conversion of written text from one language to another.

Interpretation: the conversion of spoken word from one language to another.

You will most likely be hired as a translator, because translation is much cheaper than interpretation. However, if your company is like mine, you will have interpretation work to do as well. You may be asked to take part in meetings and facilitate communication between the English-speaking and Japanese-speaking people, or act as a guide to a client from American headquarters, for example.

With translation, you usually have the blessing of time. You can look up a word you don’t know, you can think about the grammar, you can think about tone. 

But with interpretation, you need to be:

Listening to Speaker A’s English and mentally summarizing their words

Starting to say Speaker A’s words in Japanese while holding on to the bits that will come later because English and Japanese word order is so different

Continuing to listen to added speech from Speaker A as you concurrently are relaying their previous speech in to Japanese and retaining the parts that you can’t say yet because of word order.

Then do it all for again for Speaker B’s reply, and repeat. 

Basically, your mind has to be doing three things at once. Does your head hurt? Mine does. If I have to do simultaneous interpretation like that for more than a couple hours I literally develop a headache. 

I will NEVER recommend an N3 person attempt interpretation in a business setting. Nor N2 for that matter. It is hard and you do not have the benefit of time to think and double-check things.

Also, many people don’t understand exactly how difficult it is to do interpretation. I have to sometimes just say “Sorry, pause” to the speaker because my head can’t retain any more, especially if figures and data and dates are referred to. Thankfully my coworkers have come to understand my method and are just happy that I can facilitate communication for them. 

If you have any other questions regarding job hunting, please let me know and I’d be more than happy to offer what advice I have! 💖

[demonfox38]

Completed - Baba is You

I can't believe this is the first game I've perfected on Steam.

Like, I don't like achievement systems in video games, okay? I prefer to set my own goals. Sure, there are some achievements that are interesting, like learning to use a certain mechanic in a cool or efficient manner, visiting hidden rooms, or even running around with nothing but my character's default busted sword just to prove a point. Mostly, I just want to finish them. I don't go jumping through flaming hoops because I want people to think I'm cool. I'm from Iowa. I'm critically uncool by design.

If a game is good, I will put in the extra work. Like, getting 100% souls in "Castlevania: Aria of Souls" and 200.6% map completion in "Castlevania: Symphony of the Night" is now just routine for me. With "Baba is You"? Well, circumstances are just a teeny bit different.

"Baba is You" is a puzzle game from independent developer Arvi Teikari. Your primary goal in the game is to create statements out of nouns, verbs, and conditions and use those generated rules to complete levels. It's basically catnip to programmers. These puzzles are packaged in cute, scribbly animations and gentle music. Ultimately, its soft presentation is the figurative sheep's clothing under which the wolf of this game lives, dragging its players through increasingly more complex situations, sitting there, laughing, its whole world wiggling in its adolescent mockery of you and your sluggish brain.

You're not always even Baba. I know. The absolute betrayal.

I originally saw this game being streamed back in 2019. A frustrating feeling overtook me as I watched the player work through the puzzles. I could feel myself solving them before she could, and it was making me itch. I didn't want to have any more spoiled without giving it a shot myself, so I purchased the game, put in a few hours, and then dropped it for two years. Hell, the major reason I came back to it was that I was babysitting my mom's very needy poodle, and I was more or less trapped on the couch with her during her entire stay. Had to do something. So, I decided this was it.

"Baba is You" really is the ultimate "Yeah, I'll get back to this" game. You know what I mean? There's always a handful of games that you make a little headway into, and then you think, "Yeah, I'll get back to this" and then drop it. I try not to be this way. Video games are expensive, and I want to get as much value as I can out of them. But man, does this game get overwhelming.

I mean, the TAS for a 100% run is currently around an hour and forty-five minutes. That's for 226 puzzles. That is a lot.

Granted, you don't have to finish every puzzle if you don't want to. The game can let you slide free with your first ending after completing only three subworlds on the main map. You know how many people get to that first ending? Like, we're talking maybe getting through 3 hours of gameplay or so. As of this posting, it's around 7.8% of all players on Steam. In comparison, here are first time ending numbers from other games I own on Steam:

"Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon" – 38% (Cleave the Moon)

"Trine" – 29.6% (Completed!)

"Dust: An Elysian Tale" – 23.9% (…And the Dust Settles)

"Fez" – 14.7% (Kill Screen)

"Psychonauts" – 13.2% (I Thought That Was Unbeatable!)

"Typing of the Dead" – 12.9% (Experimental Fiction)

"Final Fantasy VII" – 9.4% (End of Game)

That's right. From a percentage point of view, more players will put 80 hours into a 20+ year old RPG than 3 hours in this game. So, what's up with that?

At first, I wasn't struggling terribly with the game. I was making a pretty steady clip through it, stopping occasionally to check out the game's wiki. (BTW—view that on a laptop browser, not a mobile one. The background makes it hard to read some of the verbs and conditions.) My first tap-out in 2019 happened around the "Forest of Fall" block, when the game started introducing teleporting puzzles. My second brain-snap happened about 18 hours in the game when I accidentally created the phrase "Level is Key" in the puzzle "Fragile Existence," and then I realized that I could both create this level as Baba and had to create another level as a flag to win the overworld map.

And then there was a submap.

And another.

And another.

Holy crap, my brain was not ready for the mess that was Depths and Meta.

At one point, I stopped myself and reviewed why I was overcome with despair at my own stupidity. A part of it is yes, the game looks very cute, and the language used in the puzzles is very simple. So, when you don't get it, it's like saying you don't get "Sesame Street." And hey, maybe you wouldn't if it was in Mandarin and you only speak English. But, I did want to beat myself up for my sluggish responses and my growing feeling of helplessness. Why couldn't I beat the simple sheep game for babies? Was I really that stupid?

I think it helped to know what troubles I had my playthrough harder. This included:

Using text to push objects past barriers. (Yes, text exists in the world, and unless it's floating, you can use that text to move objects around. It's like hitting a car with a stop sign.)

Assuming attributes on an object that weren't actually assigned (i.e., assuming a door was locked or a wall would prevent me from moving through it, even if that wasn't the case.)

Manipulating text to double-layer nouns or break up commands by wedging an inactive/non-solid object in them. (See: Prison.)

Realizing that "you" doesn't always have to go to a certain destination. Sometimes, "you" just need to have something move over there or push something into where you want to go.

Remembering to use the "Wait" button to let moving objects finish their paths.

"Defeat" is a condition that applies only to "you", not objects in your possession. (They may instead be destroyed by "Sink").

Some rules need to be created and destroyed in the same turn.

Things that move on their own can be used to carry commands through obstacles.

Sometimes, you've just got to count your steps when you're taking an action and see if you can reduce them.

And granted, despite my stupidity, there were some puzzles that really clicked! I particularly enjoyed using the "Word" condition, as it allowed for me to treat both words and objects as a noun to make assignments. There were also times where I had to spell out the commands I wanted from letters left on the map. Fun! Natural! And hell, who doesn't enjoy a good block pushing puzzle, now and again? Super easy. Makes sense. Key is push, door is open. Of course!

Ass is Hot! Of course! (Wait, that wasn’t the solution...)

I tended to lock up more when the "Defeat" piece was on screen. I mean, you can always undo your mistakes, and there's no life limit or anything like that. But, hearing your player character go splat when you mess up is flinch-worthy. Additionally, I hated having to build complex paths for objects to follow. Like, screw the entirety of Adventurers. Also, learning what the "Lonely" condition meant felt very unnatural. It was hard to even tell why I was splatting until I read up on what it meant.

Interestingly, changing the language of the game only affects the menu's language, not the game itself. (I was wondering if adding a layer of comprehension to objects would stop me from auto-assigning properties to them or not. Makes sense that it's all in English, considering the "form objects from letters" puzzles.)

I felt bad when I finally gave up on putting effort into solving the puzzles on my own. I did. But, I was also 18 hours deep into my file in a single week, and I wanted to get back to my other hobbies. I felt that if I gave up on "Baba is You" again, I wouldn't finish it ever. And then, those 18 hours truly would be wasted. Also, I felt sick that only 7.8% of people had gotten to the first ending screen. The game isn't bad! It's hard, but not bad! I wanted to at least give it enough dignity to finish it off, even if I was more or less reading what I needed to build with one eyeball and building it with the other.

And hell. Given all of the version differences of this game and the amount of time that has passed since its release, it is a teeny bit YouTube proof. Not completely invulnerable, but I did catch a difference or two here and there. And it's not like the wiki's the clearest with what you need to do, even when they're telling you exactly what to do. You've got to mind your space with your words. At the very least, don't push anything aside or wreck it until you absolutely must.

I can't emphasize how much I felt bad about giving up. I mean, it's one thing to look at guides for other game types. You can get knowledge on how to beat a boss or level, but you've physically got to develop the skills needed to vault through that goal. With puzzle games, knowledge is 99% of what you need to accomplish your task. The rest is just putting in the solution as elegantly as possible.

92.2% of players didn't bother to do even that.

I won't pretend to say I know enough about puzzles to make an excellent puzzle game. However, I do think brevity would have helped this game. Like, think of puzzle games people like. "Tetris," right? Even a long game of "Tetris 64" lasts me a couple of hours at most. "Portal"? That's a handful of hours supported by plot and fun dialogue. So is the sequel. "Panel de Pon" / "Tetris Attack" / "Puyo Puyo"? Those are like "Street Fighter" arcade campaigns. Like, 15-20 minutes. To have a puzzle game go on for hours and hours without any character motivation or plot in sight? Yeah. That's going to burn a lot of people out.

Like, this game could have just the over world, a single hidden world, and then the Center portion, and that would have been more than enough. And then you know what could have been done with the rest of the puzzles? Put them in a new game! "Baba is More!" Bam! A second game, now with extra "Inception"-styled mind screws! Twice the money earned! (Yeah, okay. This plan might stink of capitalism.)

Making 226 puzzles is impressive. However, brevity is the soul of wit. Sometimes, design can be contradictory like that.

But, its achievements? Perfectly laid out. Truly finishing the game is likely to net you everything. I only had to put in a couple of hours after the true ending, and really, only fifteen minutes of that was solving the puzzles. The rest was just finding what I had missed. (I've heard rumors that "Baba is Baba" is bugged, but I think you just need to look up how to get the Level is Win solution in Meta figured out. The rest is elbow grease.)

I don't know if I can recommend this game. Again, having a case of the bad feels over that statement, especially since it seems like the developer has his heart in the right place. I'm hesitant to recommend this because when I was playing it, I had a migraine that lasted three days straight. Granted, there were possibly some external factors to why I had that. A fat polar vortex. Stress from work. Some hormonal influences. Not enough caffeine or water. Just generally living in the United States in the early 2020s. Plenty of things to crush my skull. I don't think it's in good taste to recommend something that will cause others physical pain. I mean, I'm used to games cracking my hands, but that's not exactly healthy behavior. I certainly wouldn't want to give someone an epileptic attack. Why would I want to drive a nail through their skulls, either?

I do think the game is solidly designed. It's a smart little cookie. But, it is unintentionally discouraging to get through, especially if you feel like you can't ask for help. Like getting a clue or an explanation is cheating.

Look. Try. Try hard. Be as honest and earnest as you can be. Just don't expect to do everything in your life alone, okay? I mean, there are times you've got to get an external perspective. I frequently had to crash after school with mathematics teachers and badger professors to explain topics outside of class. You think I was going to come up with how there are different kinds of infinities on my own? Hell no. I'm not creative in terms of mathematical proofs. But, I sure as hell can explain how different infinities work now! Even post-schooling, I still research topics, particularly when building or fixing things. I wouldn't have learned half of the things I've learned about maintaining game cartridges or building dollhouses without suggestions from professionals and enthusiasts. It's just part of life. You ask for help so you don't burn resources—especially something as valuable as time!

[ace-oreos]

Prompt : its just not Alpha's day. Caf's cold, intel was bad, generals hurt, wind knocked down the mess tent, seems like hes the only competent person on the planet, someone took his helmet, and to top it all off its raining. And then an even bigger annoyance shows up... (absolutely up to you for who or what the annoyance is. BTW, thanks for writing these, I love your stuff!)

Aww, thank you so much! I can’t tell you how much that means.  😊💜

I almost brought Mereel back, but then I remembered Alpha’s reaction to the Padawans showing up on Jabiim and ran with that.

Jabiim is an absolute mess, to put it lightly. 

Alpha-17 picks his way through the mud, noting sourly that the rain seems to be picking up again. A few more hours and he might mistake it for Kamino. 

He shakes his head to clear his vision. The one good thing to be said for the relentless rain is that the enemy’s vehicles aren’t impervious to it, either. The mud will be an ongoing issue - if the rain ever slows - but Alpha decides that’s a problem for another time. 

Not that there’s much to do in the meantime. Kenobi had called a halt two days prior, against Alpha’s advice, so they’d set up camp outside the mountain range they were supposed to be taking for the Republic. The area was of no strategic value whatsoever, and Alpha was happy to tell command where to shove their intel, but Kenobi had merely sighed and muttered something about following orders. 

Load of good that did, Alpha thinks. A gust of wind sends rain lashing across his face and threatens to overturn another tent. We’re stuck here until the general recovers. 

It isn’t fair to blame Kenobi. It isn’t really his fault, either - he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. A stray blaster bolt is hardly anything to worry about, but Skywalker is adamant that his Master needs to make a full recovery. For the good of the Republic, of course.

Alpha ducks into a tent that’s functioning as their forward operating base. It’s almost dry inside, and his only company is a shiny who offers a salute, then promptly makes himself scarce. Alpha can’t help feeling a twinge of pity that the kid’s first look at the galaxy is turning into such a fiasco. Then again, anywhere is better than Kamino, so maybe it isn’t a disappointment after all. 

His knee complains when he leans over the holomap of the area. He has a vague memory of wrenching it when his foot slipped in the mud during a brief skirmish with an enemy patrol, but he’s nearly forgotten on top of everything else. Alpha files the information away for another time - he’ll check in with the medics after the more serious injuries are seen to. 

He’s reviewed their intel half a dozen times, and each reveals another glaring error in the information. He has a healthy distrust for Republic Intel by now, but Jedi command doesn’t seem to share the same sentiment. 

Alpha sighs and deactivates the holo. Staring at it won’t do much good.

He might glance in the med tent if he didn’t run the risk of encountering Skywalker. He’s trying to be a good officer, Alpha can tell, but he’s too young to understand that the mission comes first. 

Still, checking in on his commanding officer would be the decent thing to do. And with any luck Kenobi will have thought of new ways to combat the Jabiimi forces. Alpha hovers, torn between the desire to avoid Skywalker and his lectures about compassion and his grudging concern for Kenobi. Another smattering of rain makes up his mind, and he pushes his way into the tent. 

The first thing he notices is Skywalker’s absence. That’s unusual these days - he prefers to monitor his Master’s recovery himself. The next is that Kenobi seems to be waiting for him. The general catches his eye and waves him over with a faint smile. 

“I told your Padawan this wouldn’t be enough to kill you, but he didn’t seem to believe me,” Alpha greets him. 

“Hello to you too, Lieutenant.” Kenobi peers at him. “Not taking this time to relax?”

“We’re in enemy territory,” Alpha informs him as if this is a new development. “What kind of second would I be if the camp got invaded on my watch?” 

Kenobi shrugs. “I trust your judgement.”

“Then you’ll give us the go-ahead to push the enemy back across the river?” 

The general frowns. “It seems unnecessary.”

“We’ll have control of the valley,” Alpha points out. “And they won’t be able to get behind us.”

“I’ll consider it.” Kenobi’s voice takes on a mischievous tone. “But I’m afraid that’ll have to wait until our reinforcements are settled in.”

“Reinforcements?” Alpha echoes sharply. “You didn’t tell me command authorized reinforcements.”

“It’s not another battalion,” Kenobi warns. “I’d imagine you’ll need a great deal of patience.”

“What are you not telling me, sir?” 

“There’s a group of Padawans who have recently lost their Masters. They were passing through this system, and we need all the help we can get…”

Alpha pinches the bridge of his nose. “The last thing we need right now is a bunch of untrained kids getting underfoot.”

“They have training,” Kenobi answers, sharper now. “And they’re willing to help. I expect you to treat them with the same courtesy you would any Jedi.” His voice softens. “Anakin’s gone to meet them.”

There’s no point arguing. Alpha pushes himself to his feet with a sigh. “And you’re going to tell me I should do the same.”

“You are my second. It’s only fitting - ”

“I get it,” Alpha interrupts. “I’ll send them your best and all that.” 

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Kenobi is grinning now. 

Alpha, on the other hand, is decidedly not grinning when he sets eyes on the gaggle of Padawans huddled in a tent. They look impossibly small, clumped together and soaked to the bone. As badly as they need reinforcements, Alpha can already tell that they’re going to be just as much of a hindrance.

“It figures,” he grumbles to himself. 

Just as he’s reconsidering his decision to be part of the welcoming party, Skywalker grabs his arm and hauls him over. “My Master’s second-in-command,” the kid announces, cutting through the buzz of conversation. “Alpha Seventeen.” 

Alpha’s salute is more a jerk of his arm, but he doubts the Jetiise notice or care. “Just who we needed to ride to the rescue.” 

Skywalker frowns at his tone, but as it’s just shy of an insult, he keeps his mouth shut. 

The kids crowd around, telling him how eager they are to help, what an honor it is to serve with General Kenobi, he’s on the Council, can you believe it, and he asked for us specifically - 

Alpha can already feel a headache coming on.