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moronic-validity · 8 months

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Winter's Tango

And, because all of you were so patient with me, here is a little stand-alone song fic inspired by Stalker's Tango by Autoheart

I don't think there are any warnings for this one, but I didn't have my beta readers look at this one so...it's probs a bit rough around the edges.

“Oh fellow Petrikov, I know you and the girls are about to leave, but would you mind assisting me with something?” Winter’s lilting voice called after Simon as he was about to leave.

He looked to Fionna and Cake who gave him a thumbs up before he turned back to follow The Winter King back into the castle.

They walked for what felt like forever before they were in what appeared to be a ballroom.

“So what exactly did you need my help with?” Simon was confused, there didn’t appear to be an issue.

“Simon, did we ever take ballroom dancing classes in you timeline?”

Simon laughed nervously.

“We took one, in our freshman year of college. It went badly.”

Winter nodded pensively.

“I guess that settles it,” He took Simon’s hand and wrapped his other arm around his waist, “I’ll lead.”

Simon didn’t have a chance to figure out where the music was coming from before Winter swept him off his feet.

I know, I know, I know this situation's strange

It takes a little getting, a little getting used to

Winter broke out into song, much to Simon’s displeasure.

Worse though, they were dancing the tango.

“Winter, I think you’ve gotten the wrong idea about my being here,” Simon’s protest fell on deaf ears as Winter let go of him for a moment, only to begin to circle him.

Love me, love me, love me, love me

Love me, love me, love me, love me more

Winter got closer to him, leaving only inches between their faces.

Than you possibly can

“Are you beginning to see the big picture my dear Simon?” Winter said with a laugh, his hands back on Simon. His grip was firm and cold.

It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

You'll never meet another me

It's not that difficult to get your head around

You'll never meet another me

You'll never-never-ever-never ever meet another me

This time Simon was ready, and though he was rusty, he was able to keep pace.

He knew he couldn’t stay, as much as Winter wanted him to, as much as he wanted to.

Each line he sang drove the point home, that Simon would never find someone that was so compatible to him.

That there was no one else that knew him the way Winter did.

I know, I know, I know I'm always in your place

But don't you see, my dear? I am your Doppelgänger

Have your face so

Simon couldn’t look away from him if he tried.

They did have similar features, but Simon’s bore the signs of age that Winter’s never would. He had to remind himself of that, that Winter would never age and he would.

Still though, there was something so appealing…

Love me, love me, love me, love me

Love me, love me, love me, love me more

Again, Winter circled him, but this time, Simon found his place and followed his lead.

They circled each other, not breaking eye contact as Winter sang.

Than you possibly can

“I don’t know what you’re trying to get at Winter,” Simon said as they came back together.

“I think you do.”

It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

You'll never meet another me

It's not that difficult to get your head around

You'll never meet another me

You'll never-never-never-ever-ever meet another me

Their steps fell in perfect synchronization as if this had been a practiced number.

Simon couldn’t help but think that if his first class had been like this, he would’ve gone back.

Ey-ey-ah

Bada-bam-bam-bam-bam

Bada-ba-ah

Bam-bam-bam-bam

Bada-bam-bam-bam-bam

Bada-ba

The room had darkened and grown colder as he sang.

“So what do you say?” Winter’s body was so close to his, “Stay here, with me.”

“You know I have to leave” Simon stumbled over his words, “I don’t want to, but so many people need me…”

“There’s one last verse, why don’t you sing it.” It was phrased as a question, but Simon knew it wasn’t.

It's not that complicated, no matter what they say

I'll never meet another you

It's not that difficult to get my head around

I'll never meet another you

Simon was breathing hard as the music slowed. Winter still had him in a dip, inches from the floor, but he felt stable in his fellow Simon’s arms.

Simon hesitated for only a moment.

“I’ll stay.”

#teddy talks #theo's thoughts #simon x winter king #the winter king #winter king x simon #winterking #winterkov #simon petrikov #simoncest #simonpetrikov #song fic #stalker's tango

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coeuretoiles · 6 months

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TW: NSFW lol

Uhhhha WIP of some Winterkov crap- it’s for an art dump that I probably will never finish as usual LMAO. Thats the only reason why I’m uploading this here lol. Winter King totally is fully clothed…. Totally…

Also I made the crown not actually situated on his head cuz I didn’t wanna ruin the hair I spent too much effort on I-…

Not even close to done shading but let’s just ignore that shall we ; ) let’s also pretend I didn’t give him blue eyes! (I forgot to fix it too lazy too atm)

Update - new WIP cuz I can : ) also trans winter king lmao. I’m gonna start treating this site like folioscope and just edit posts time to time lol

My main twit (SFW art): @CoeurDeLuciole

My side twit (NSFW [has all my Winterkov art]): @CoeurToiles (different spelling)

#winter king #my artwork #winterkov #kinda lmaoooo #they do the devils tango in some other WIPs okay okay #wip #fionna and cake #simon petrikov

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thetomorrowshow · 2 years

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“Griiaaaan! It’s cold.”

“It’s not cold. Be quiet.”

And the stupid thing is, it is cold. Grian’s never lived in a desert before, but he’d expected it to be hot all the time, not just during the day. It’s the desert, after all—the only things that grow here are spindly leafless bushes, and all the animals that he’s spotted spend most of their time in the shade of sand mounds and rocks.

Most of the nights have still been a bit warm for what Grian’s used to, but apparently the winter’s coming on fast, and it surely has nothing to do with a certain Red King. An execution had occurred just this morning, and now Ren is Red, and apparently the rest of the world has been suffering from it.

“Yes it is,” grumbles the pile of blankets beside him, and Grian sighs.

He’s supposed to be on watch alone, for half the night, then wake up Scar to watch the other half. Scar, however, thinks that keeping watch is stupid, even when Grian has repeatedly stressed that he is no longer the only Red on the server, and one of the others is a very dangerous enemy to them.

“If you’re cold, get in bed,” Grian tells him, and Scar shifts and bit before speaking, teeth clacking together exaggeratedly.

“It’s c-cold there too!”

Grian rolls his eyes, wraps his arms a little tighter around himself. His sweater’s getting pretty scraggly these days. He just had to darn the elbow last week, but that’s about the extent of his knitting skills. If it falls apart completely, he’ll be stuck in just his undershirt, nothing to keep him warm in the approaching winter.

“You know, there’s a way to make us both warm,” Scar teases, his head emerging from the blankets to wink at Grian. Grian shoves him.

“Scar! Stop it and go to bed!”

“Oh, come on, I didn’t mean anything!” Scar says innocently. “I just meant if we were both in bed right now, we could be sharing body heat! I don’t know what you thought I meant. You have a dirty mind, Grian.”

Grian buries his face in his hands. He never should have signed up for this. Out of the ten-some other players in the immediate vicinity, why couldn’t he have blown up anyone else? Why couldn’t he end up with loyalty pledged to Tango, or Etho, or literally any other player on the server?

“C’mon, Grian,” Scar wheedles. “Nobody’s gonna attack! We have the cactus walls, and the lava moat, and the alarm system you rigged today! Even if someone did try to take some sand, we’d know.”

“Right. The alarm system that consists of a bunch of bells and string, which goes off at the slightest breeze. I have so much faith in it.”

“Great, we’re on the same page! So it’ll be totally safe for us to sleep together.” “Scar! I will push you off my mountain!”

“Hey! I resent that—it’s as much my mountain as it is yours.”

Grian lifts his head. Enough of Scar is visible that he can see the self-satisfied smirk on his face.

And somehow, he’s half tempted to agree with Scar just to get him to go to bed.

It is pretty chilly out, after all. And he’s very tired. He’d only volunteered to take first watch because he really didn’t want to be woken up in the middle of a sleep cycle. First watch just means staying up a couple of extra hours and then sleeping soundly.

He glances at Scar again, who—oh, he’s making the puppy-dog eyes—

“Fine,” Grian grumbles, hauling himself to his feet. Scar scrambles up as well and runs for the house, sand flying behind him.

“At least shake the blankets out!” calls Grian. Scar ignores him.

Does he really want to get into bed with a madman? All it takes is the Red haze getting to Scar, and he’s dead in an instant. No armor, no weapon, nothing to protect him from being stabbed in the gut by his supposed ally.

Then a bitingly cold gust of wind blows sand in his nostrils, and Grian decides he’s rather fed up with all this desert stuff and would much rather be asleep, Scar or no. They should be safe to not worry about watches until tomorrow—after all, Scar’s done nothing to torment anyone (other than Grian) this week! Never mind that it’s Monday night.

He heads inside, shucking off his sweater right outside the door to shake it off. His bedroom is the first one on the left, putting Scar deeper in the house and therefore safer, so he turns to go in there—

Of course. Scar’s in his bed.

He’d held onto some strand of hope that maybe Scar had been joking about sleeping together, maybe he’d just been trying to get Grian to go to sleep so he could set out on some dastardly scheme without anyone to hold him back. But Scar’s there, blanket pulled up to his chin, a nightcap (where did he get that?) on his head.

“Why, hello there, Grian!” Scar grins at him. “Ready for some sleepy-times-with-Scar? I’ve been warming the bed up for you.”

Grian almost walks right back out the door. Suddenly, being on watch doesn’t sound that bad.

This might be the last full night of sleep he gets for a while.

“All right. Ground rules,” Grian says, shutting the bedroom door behind him. Scar cheers, arms up in the air, the blanket falling off to reveal a grey six-pack and copious amounts of sand.

“Scar! Put a shirt on! That’s the first rule, wear clothes!”

“But-but-but skin contact, Grian!”

“I am putting my foot down! Clothes on in bed!”

Muttering darkly to himself, Scar rolls out of bed, wearing nothing but his nightcap and a pair of shorts. Grian takes the opportunity to tear the sheets and covers off the bed, shaking them out before stretching them back over the thin mattress. He really ought to change the sheets, but he doesn’t have the wool nor the time to make an extra set. They’ll have to make do with this for now, and maybe he can take a moment tomorrow to wash them.

Scar’s put on a t-shirt, which Grian supposes is the best he’s going to get. He kicks off his shoes and socks, strips out of his jeans and dusts his legs off. There’s enough sand clinging to his leg hair that his skin has practically changed color, a clear line separating the brown and starkly pale from where his socks had been. That’s just awful. Of all places, why on earth did Scar have to pick the worst one?

He can dip into the river to bathe tomorrow, and maybe he can convince Scar to wash off as well (not likely, seeing as Scar has as much aversion to a bath as a feral cat, but it’s worth a try).

He’s washing the sheets anyway. It won’t be a problem to get them this little bit dirtier.

Grian climbs into bed, and Scar hops in next to him immediately. “Second ground rule—” Grian starts, but before he can finish, Scar has almost entirely enveloped him in a burning hot hug.

He can feel the tension just ooze out of Scar’s body as they lie there, Scar’s body burning his at every place they touch. The man sighs, burying his nose in Grian’s hair.

And Grian. . . .

Grian relaxes too.

Just a bit! And it’s just—it’s really just because he’s lying down, and he’s been so terribly tired. No other reason.

Still. He’s hesitant to push Scar away. He does, of course, sitting up to pull up the covers and thereby disrupting Scar’s hold.

“Second rule,” he repeats. “No touching. No cuddling, hugging, or anything of the sort.”

“That’s a bad rule.”

Grian sighs. “Oh yeah? Why?”

Scar gestures wildly, almost knocking the candle off the bedside table. Grian leans over him and grabs it just in time, blows out the flame. “Well—well, the whole reason we’re sleeping together is for shared body warmth! No touching totally ruins that!”

Grian shouldn’t give in easily. He really shouldn’t. But now bereft of Scar’s touch, he feels even colder than before. All the burning points of contact are just numb, now. And Grian really wants to be warm.

“All right, fine.”

Scar tackles him before he can even lie all the way down. Grian decides to just accept it, honestly. What else can he do?

“Third rule: no talking. We are here to sleep.”

Scar nods, releasing Grian for a moment to mime zipping up his lips.

Good. Grian lays back against his pillow, pulling the blanket up to his collarbone, and sighs. It’s not too bad, really. At least this way, if someone comes to kill them in their sleep, they’ll go out together.

That’s . . . a weird thought to have. Grian’s in the middle of decidedly not analyzing it when something ice cold presses against his legs.

He definitely does not screech as he kicks against it. “Scar! Get your cold feet away from me!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just that I’ve been so cold ever since I died, and you’re like a mini space heater over here!”

Grian groans, trying to maneuver his legs in such a way that as much of the covers as possible are between his legs and Scar’s. “I’m about to bring back rule number two, so behave.”

Scar falls silent again, and Grian tries to relax (in his arms). It’s not difficult to feel the pull of sleep. It’s not difficult to let sleep claim him, his limbs heavy and brain slowing to a soupy mush. It feels so nice to not be poised for battle, not be planning their next move. He hasn’t felt this peaceful in weeks.

“Grian?” comes a whisper from beside him.

He’s suddenly aware that he’s been drifting. He's not sure how long it’s been. Hours? Minutes?

“Rule number three,” he grouses.

A shifting of the covers, pulling them taut. “Sorry. Don’t worry about it!”

Reluctantly, Grian drags his eyes open. The world is still dark, the air as still as before. Scar had started to ask a question, and curse him for it because he knows that Grian’s too curious to let it go now. He has to know what Scar wanted. “No. Wha’ is it?”

“What do you miss most about Hermitcraft?”

Hermitcraft. He hasn’t properly thought about it in a while. It’s not that he’d forgotten it, but the longer they spend in 3rd Life, the farther away it is in his mind. This is—what, the sixth week?

Six weeks since he last did anything with his mansion. Six weeks since he restocked the Barge.

“My diamonds,” he says after a moment. “I was so rich, Scar. I had stacks of diamond blocks. Not that I don’t miss other things,” he adds. “Good community, and my mansion, and all that. I just miss the security of so much money.”

Scar hums into his hair, a shiver running down Grian’s back at the tingly feeling. A minute passes, and while Grian’s still barely keeping his eyes open he’s also still curious.

“What about you? What do you miss?”

“Jellie,” Scar says instantly, some sort of wistful longing in his voice that Grian hasn’t ever heard from him.

It’s understandable, of course. It’s his cat. It’s just that the entire time they’ve been playing this death game, Scar has never wanted something as badly as he wants Jellie right now. It’s touching, in a way—the idea that his love for that cat is so strong that even his Red name can’t make it waver.

And in another way, it’s annoying. Because somehow, Scar has retained the capacity to love and want and he’s only felt that way about a cat.

And Grian is definitely not jealous of a cat, of all things. That would be—that would be ridiculous. Wouldn’t it?

If he were fully awake right now, he’d probably stomp off to his creeper farm or go dig sand for a couple of hours until he's completely forgotten about these gnawing feelings and can focus.

But sleepy Grian acknowledges them, holds them close to his chest, and lets himself feel how desperately he wants to be wanted.

Right now, he’s as close to Scar as he can get, head pressed against his chest and strong arms around him. If anyone happened upon them right now, they would instantly assume the obvious.

Yet Grian’s never felt more alone.

“Scar,” he whispers before he can stop himself. “If I wasn’t here, would you miss me?”

Scar's been shuffling around every couple of seconds, so it’s apparent when he goes utterly still.

“Um. You’ve taken me a bit by surprise here, G,” Scar laughs nervously. Sleepy Grian takes that exact moment as a chance to listen to the rational side of Grian’s brain, which is screaming for him to shut up, run away, hide.

“Sorry,” Grian immediately says, face burning. “I—forget I said anything—”

Then Scar presses a kiss into his dirty hair, and Grian’s brain short-circuits.

“Of course I would miss you,” Scar murmurs. “I mean, we all would, but I would miss you the most. I didn’t put you on a llama and carry you away to the desert for nothing.”

Scar’s voice sounds so very fond that Grian can’t help it when his stomach flips a little. He pushes his head up against Scar’s chin, curls a little closer into his body. Scar really is as cold as he’d said. Grian finds himself wondering if he runs warmer normally, which of course makes his brain send him all sorts of ways he can find out when they get back to Hermitcraft.

Not that that will ever happen. This is—this doesn’t mean anything. It’s just two bros, cuddling and falling asleep together. Hermitcraft—and even just tomorrow—will be back to normal.

And perhaps most importantly, Grian cannot allow Scar to become a weakness. He cannot let their enemies see him like this, exhausted and yearning and lonely. He has to be strong to keep the both of them safe.

For now, though, he can just pretend like the game doesn’t exist. He can press closer to Scar, his skin burning in such a good way, and live in Scar’s arms.

In the morning, things will go back to normal.

And when Scar whispers, rasping words loud in the silence of the room, “Grian, I really really like you, I think,” Grian pretends to be asleep.

#3rd life smp #trafficblr #scarian #desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #mas writes #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.#sometimes you just gotta rewatch 3rd life and spiral #this will be uploaded on ao3 under the title 'so taut it taunts the song'#fair warning this is a bit sad

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selodka-pod-shuboy · 5 months

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I think 3rd life is somehow the best plot&system-wise. It's not based on anything, just my humble opinion. I have so much thoughts and they are all so tragic. Like. It was my first ever interaction with theese CCs, I went there blind reacting. It was amazing then, it was even better after getting to know them. Every perspective tells such a drasticly different story. You've got alliances formed throu death, loyalty and sacrifices, broken or cherished till the very end. You have 3 lifes, and that's it. No tricks or some help or twist from the gamemakers. Go apeshit or stay nice, nothing changes it. All your enemies can start from something as simple as a random punch or a shot or a pice of paper. So can friends. No one knows how the server operates, they all come from somewhat-friendly spaces, so every simple fact is a new surprise - everybody kills animals, and ends up suffering with lack of food&lether for books afterwards. They put effort into builds, bother with decorating(not to say they didn't in later seasons, it's just the attachment I'll talk later), fill the places with love and care, get attached to pets and trees, banners of all things. PROTECT THEM and feel sorrow and grief, once they enevitibly get killed or burned or blown up or DESTROYED. The rage is so innocent in it's belive, that they were wronged, that they should be avenged, and not that this is just the reality of the server itself, that that's just - what heppens. The story tells so much about betrayal, about broken trust, and friends that go mad, and almoust no one follows the "all alliances are broken after you're red" rule. You are allowed to kill now, yeah, but there was nothing in PARTICULAR, stopping you before. It is proven by the first death, that it was just a prank, that lead to all the following chaos. Scar gives Grian flowers after his second death, and Grian STAYS. Cleo sticks with Bdubs, calling his castle a toilet, kidnaps the desert lama, burns Joel's home. She goes for the king and dies in the blind rage . Bdubs makes and gives Impulse the clock, that will doom their hearts in the end. Impulse promises his trust to the Crastle. Bigb makes the cookie. Martyn hears voices, and Ren asks him to take his head. He takes so many lives. The Red Winter Comes. Tango saves the cows, only for them to be stolen, he gets shot stuck behind the fire. Etho's dark oak gets burned, he builds a woolen castle, for it to get burned multiple times. Timmy gives Scott a poppy, starting their marriage. They build the flower valley. Timmy DIES FIRST and aquaeres the Canary curse. Scott follows full of sorrow. Skizz dies second, full of rage, and creates the boogieman curse. Joel stays alone, with his dog army, and dies, leaving his pack wandering the desert. The cactus-ring fight. The siege of dogwarts. Battle of the Red Desert. All the monopolies. The state, that everyone leaves the server, the contrast with the start. It's like watching the 1rst anual hunger games, from a perspective of people, who know and love each other, but no matter their efforts, end up slowly spiraling into violence and distrust, spreading pain and destruction. Mu soul loves and aches for it, even though it was the very same thing that broke it in the first place, that took a pice of it and so it will never be whole again. It's so tragic. All this blood was never beautiful. It was just. Red.

#3rd life smp #3rd life #third life smp #life series #Rant #I'm too drunk #Happy new year #I'll regret this afterwards #last life #last life smp #double life smp #limited life #limited life smp #secret life #secret life smp

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silverskye13 · 5 months

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okok i've another question but not an in-universe one; were there any rules or patterns you followed when coming up with the appearances of the helsmets for RnS? :V or are they all moreso based on What Seemed Right for each individual character :0

Mostly just what seemed right, to be honest! A lot of it is based on what I'm trying to do with them as character themes.

Tanguish started out as more of a riff on Tango as a fire-related character. Then I decided Tango would be fire/redstone, ergo his double would be ice/sculk. That eventually kinda balooned into his personality. He's contained, isolated, secretive, sneaky. But he seeps into things. If you've ever had to deal with your road deteriorating over winter, because water keeps freezing in the cracks and breaking the asphalt apart, that's his vibe. You almost don't know he's there until he's cracked you open.

Helsknight has a canon design, but his 110% was just me designing something that looked cool. My first Wels/Hels designs had Wels as a Ottoman inspired knight, with a focus on short, blocky shapes. Meanwhile Helsknight was more of a pointy anglo-saxon knight style, with a lot of triangles and sharp lines. Eventually when RnS started to reform my ideas, I decided Wels was a more caricatured english knight, with a lot of modern crusader/paladin vibes, and focused on making Hels a dark mirror of that. Giving him sharp, unapproachable armor was a visualization of him being an angry, brooding character [which is why, as a lot of people have noted, he opens up a lot more when he starts taking the armor off. That's also why, when he's feeling vulnerable, his nervous ticks have to do with the buckles on his gloves, or the hilt of his sword. He's trying to decide if he's going to open up about something.]

Martyn and Red both have canon designs as well, technically, since they're the 3rd Life versions of their characters, just a little to the left. The crown the Red King has, which covers his eyes, is a direct reference to Ren's quote, "The blood is dripping into my eyes. I can't see. I've been blinded by the violence." He's been blinded by violence, and finds it hard to keep his humanity intact when the crown is off. It binds him to his purpose as The Red King -- protecting people. Martyn in my head looks almost exactly like his 3L red life skin, and that's purposeful. He wants to keep a low profile. He doesn't want his other half to know he's his own entity that exists.

EB's design has a lot to do with his past and not his present. [I feel like I keep alluding to him having a backstory,,,, we'll get there someday.] The way I've put EB and EX as characters in relation to Xisuma, is they represent different struggles he's had at different points in his life. EX was the hubris of being a server admin, the desire for limitless control. EB was the pride of success, and the white knuckle grip it required to keep it. He used to be a very prideful, and very dangerous, person. And stung pride [ha! bee jokes] can lead to some very angry outbursts. So he looks very waspish, long and thin, and sharp angled. The fact that he's an android is 110% just because I headcanon Xisuma is a robot. Sorry doomguy I've fallen in love with the AI headcanon.

The Demon is a take on ImpulseSV's character trait of sharing that turns into exploitation. One of his big collab points with other people is the fact that he makes farms, and in 3L there was an entire plot point around how he kept giving people things, and all of those people individually agreed because he kept giving everyone things, he was on nobody's side, so, you couldn't really betray him, could you? The Demon therefore is a character who is determined not to be used or exploited in any way. He hoards his wealth like a dragon, makes pacts and bargains that only benefit him, like a demon, and his eye is always watching for a knife in the dark [don't think too hard about Tanguish taking knife lessons]. The man has, to put it bluntly, trust issues. So his design echoes that idea of a monstrous person so busy armoring himself he's forgotten how to connect with people. Bright golden eyes, impenetrable scales, armor and tools disproportionately strong compared to what he should ever be expected to use them for. He's daring someone to betray him, so he can be justified in destroying them for it.

I'm trying to think of other characters that've popped up.

Evil Sausage [I think the fandom calls him Bratwurst??] is mostly just a parody of some of his appearances in Empires. I liked how linked he was to Xornoth, so I imagine the shadow that makes his elytra wings is what's left of his union with Xornoth the demon.

Hels!Watcher Grian is both a reference and a handwave at the fact that Grian is an instigator. It makes sense that a fear, or mirror, for that would be someone who refuses to interact with the world, or maybe wants to but physically can't. Eye themes abound.

[loud shrugging]

Yeah, that's it. It's whatever seems right for what the characters are doing.

#answering asks #redstone and skulk #yayforstuffs #good question!#i like getting to talk about all the silly things that go into character design choices #rns asks

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floef-likes-everything · 8 months

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Not Skizz and Tango wanting to call Bdubs 'My Liege'. NO. That title is for Renthedog, first of his name, King of the Red Winter and leader of Dogwarts ONLY.

#he didn't return from the war #the irony with the whole HC king storyline is just #trafficblr #secret life #secret life smp #rendog #tangotek #skizzleman

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supurflufybuny · 4 months

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Okay at least one person wanted to hear abt me and my friends snow bugs so here ya go.

Basically, it's set in Empires S1, and Scott is a half fae, half elf and the Crown Prince of Rivendell - in this au, since I don't like using the word king, Crown Prince is the ruler, and second prince/ just Prince is not. Xornoth is his younger half brother, who is a full elf. Xornoth is an elven purist [aka they're just a racist bitch] who believes that Scott has no place ruling.

Tango is a prolific and successful thief, who was anonymously hired to steal from the castle. He accidentally stuck into the window to Scott's room, where Scott he found him. Gay shit ensues, Tango flirts to get out of it and Scott is left flustered.

So, Xornoth has a plot to steal the throne from Scott, using a magical item that Scott keeps under lock and key except for the Winter festival and ceremony of Aeor, when Scott must prove he's still worthy for the crown. They are using Tango to both stress Scott out as a distraction and to potentially steal the artefact. So Tango is employed by Xornoth to steal from the castle - by this point Tango knows its Xornoth - every so often. Tango usually gets out of it through flirting with Scott and his blaze abilities.

But over time, Scott develops a soft spot for Tango, starting to like him. Tango is also starting to get more reluctant to hurt Scott by stressing him out and the two start to get close. Xornoth notices this...

And they have an evil plan. Anyway that's all I'm sayong for now, let me know if you want the actual writing me and my friend are doing cause this is an rp.

[Ppl who wanted to be tagged @crowsongcaws ]

#snowbugs #emberfrost #snowbugs au #trafficblr #life series au #au #royalty au #thief au #scott smajor #tangotek #smajor #tango #life series shipping #traffic shipping

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dingdinghq · 6 months

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14 strangers travel to the strange, isolated town of Evolution, unknowing that they will soon be dragged into a twisted game that only one of them may win...

I recently got into Fear and Hunger thanks to @aguahouse and this spiralled wildly out of control and so this has become a full-fledged au mainly created by yours truly.

The Termina Festival, in this case, is a death game puppeted by the Watchers in Evolution. Through weird ass resurrection magic, the contestants have 3 lives and once they lose their third life, they'll be sent back to the train, which they cannot leave until a winner is declared (permadeath isn't a thing largely because the Watchers love to feed on their grief and trauma). This AU is using the cast of Third Life specifically, although the others may make appearances/be referenced.

Other than that, this is going by a lot of the same rules of the F&H universe. There's still multiple different gods, the game mechanics are still preserved for the most part, it's just in a universe tailor-made for Life Series and MCYT.

Other things:

Moonscorching as a concept still exists here. Its called "voidscorching" and works generally the same. Characters' voidscorched forms will be at the bottom of their page, though I will list them in this post.

The Listeners, Speakers, and other deities are a thing, but they're... not exactly a huge deal here. It's similar to how the other old gods work in F&H.

The souls are still a thing! I gave each character a soul based on how they act and general interpretations of the souls; reminder that just because I give a character a soul doesn't mean they fit the same role or personality as the character(s) who had that soul in F&H.

Some of the darker F&H mechanics (i.e. the SA) aren't going to be in this. It just doesn't fit in this au. However, I respect the original games and what they do because they handle those topics with the seriousness they need. I wouldn't be making this au if I thought the games were genuinely an issue.

I won't be going into full detail with any descriptions, considering that it could be triggering. I'll tag any potential triggers under posts where they may appear (i.e limb loss, blood, body horror, etc).

Our Characters (this will be updated as character profiles are created):

Bdubs O'Hundred | Glare

BigB Statz | Defiance

Etho Slab | Charred fox

Impulse Esvee | Demon

Martyn Littlewood | Listener

Scar Goodtimes | Dealmaker

Grian Tiente | Watcher

Ren Dog | Red Winter King

Skizz Leman | Angel

Scott Major | Venus flytrap

Joel Beans | Wolf

Jimmy Solidar | Canary

Tango Tek | Raging fire

Cleo Zomi | Zombie

That's all for now! I'll try to start getting out character profiles soon! (They're not going to have art just yet; I'm still practicing drawing actual people in pixel art and don't want to deliver a disappointing result for this au that I really do love).

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rokiixd · 8 months

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Hermittober Day 4 - "Bound"

ao3 link at the bottom

one would think that being bound to another soul would change their own life, as well as their soulmate. tango didn’t think so. to him, the bond forged between him and his soulmate was simply another cruel joke forced upon them by the gods that put them in this gladiator’s pit of a world. but that was all before he met his soulmate.

despite their initial hesitance, tango and jimmy rapidly grew close. after only a day on their scrappy ranch, a connection beyond their temporary soulbond had formed. neither of them were truly aware of it– they’d owed all shared feelings to the soulbond. but deep down, far beyond the surface of their consciousnesses, there was a thin, glowing thread that joined them.

in a way, the bond between their souls prevented them from realising their own fates. even when tango had felt more than just an occasional twinge of pain, he attributed it to the unstable magic that was used to link the two of them together.

but again, that was before all this happened.

oh, what’s “ this ”, you ask?

well, this all started when a little bird told tango of a place far away, free of the constant cycle of chaos and bloodshed that the gods threw at them. and on a whim, (and without any knowledge of where he was even going in the first place) tango had invited a certain rancher to join him in his endeavour for peace.

tango hadn’t expected jimmy to actually show up at the bus stop. for all he knew, their relationship during the life games was just a temporary means of survival. after the games, they had barely spoken to one another, let alone go on adventures to mysterious worlds (even if they were meant to be peaceful).

jimmy had fallen asleep on the bus to pelican town, and despite his careful demeanour, tango found himself slowly drifting off as the bus cruised on.

~⭑☆☪☆⭑~

they’d arrived at the town sometime in the afternoon, the sun blazing bright above them as they stumbled groggily out of the bus. when they’d entered the town, tango had briefly explained to the mayor that they were here on behalf of their friend (who apparently, was a regular visitor) and were going to live on his plot of land for the foreseeable future.

with that taken care of, the two dragged themselves to grian’s farmhouse.

his house was, unsurprisingly, beautiful– well designed, cosy, and appropriately decked out in decorations of all sorts. but at this point and time, tango cared the most about the king size four-poster bed that sat in the bedroom. jimmy apparently agreed, seeing as he’d collapsed on the bed next to him.

~⭑☆☪☆⭑~

[winter 24 year 2]

tango wakes up to the soft rustling of feathers. for once, jimmy had woken up before him and was getting dressed– but not in his normal denim button-up. for once, he’s wearing a sweater (and that sweater happens to be tango’s favourite oversized knit sweater but no one has to know that), and now overalls on top of it.

tango really doesn’t think his day can get any better– and it’s only just begun.

today is technically tango’s turn to go feed the animals, but if he’s going to be completely honest, he really doesn’t want to get up right now. so, he stays in bed while jimmy brews a pot of coffee for the two of them.

but then–

a twinge of pain echoes in his right hand.

and from the kitchen, jimmy curses loudly in a tongue that not even tango knows.

tango frowns, glancing at his hand.

he rolls out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen. jimmy is standing at the sink, running his hand under the faucet.

“show me your hand.”

“aren’t you gonna ask if i’m okay?”, jimmy teases.

tango huffs impatiently and takes hold of his right hand. and there it is– a patch of pink skin on his hand.

“did you burn yourself?”

jimmy nods.

and then he realises.

“tango, did you feel it?”

tango nods.

and then it clicks.

their bond had never been from the gods.

i love you, he wants to say, but the words are stuck in his throat. jimmy opens his mouth as well, but all that escapes is a sob. tango takes his other hand, lacing their fingers together– and jimmy takes the initiative. he presses a soft kiss to the knuckles of their joined hands, and tango nearly breaks right then and there. he squeezes jimmy’s hand once, then throws his arms around him, nearly knocking them both to the kitchen floor with the force of the embrace.

tango kisses him, sweet and agonisingly slow. he doesn’t think he could ever bring himself to stop.

jimmy doesn’t think he can either.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50578279

#jimmy solidarity #tangotek #team rancher #double life ranchers #rancher duo #stardew au #fluff #hermittober

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zodarii-dae · 1 year

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the symbolism saga continues! this post is just for third life, because if i did them all in one post it would be way too long. i already made posts about symbols for the top three and the losers. everyone else has animal symbols! i chose based on symbolism, looks, names, behavior, or game events. or just vibes.

cleo is an african lion. they represent leadership, power, and courage, which works well for the queen of the crastle.

skizz is a mourning dove. skizz is one of the few who has consistent symbols. i adore fallen angel imagery for him, so i chose to make him different types of doves. this specific one is mostly for the name, as ren used the skizz blade in his name after his death.

joel is a eurasian wolf. i couldn't give the wolf king anything other than a wolf, but i don't really have a reason for the eurasian one other than vibes.

scott is an adonis blue butterfly. i wanted a butterfly because of the flower valley, and i chose this one for the name! the greek myth of adonis is about a lost lover (well, it's about a lot more than that but that's the only relevant part) who was turned into a flower, which i thought was perfect.

etho is an awassi sheep. i had to give him a sheep because of the wool fortress, and this one looked the coolest.

tango is a danish red cattle. same as etho, i wanted to give him a cow because of his (brief) monopoly, and this one looked the most fitting.

ren is an arctic wolf. he's the other one who stays consistent, because he really can't be anything other than a wolf or dog. i chose arctic for the red winter.

martyn is an arctic fox. i wanted an arctic animal for red winter, and i feel martyn is very fox like. plus, their dens are very similar to how dogwarts was set up.

impulse is a coast mole. he's referred to as a mole quite a few times. i chose the coast mole for the vibes.

bigb is a white-tailed jackrabbit. this one is almost entirely vibes. it is solitary, and he was very isolated throughout the series.

if you have any other ideas, please let me know! i'd love to hear some other thoughts on this.

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fryingpan1234567 · 1 year

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That Hermitcraft hero AU list I promised

yeah. here you go (:

edit: no art for y’all lol if you saw the original post congrats, but if you happened to have aphantasia or are just not good at visualizing, sorry! no art, it doesn’t go over well lmao

happy reading!

Impulse: SV

powers: electricity + thunder

info: he’s really good with press lol he usually goes on missions with kids because they all love him- during the day, the iDimpy factory ‘bought’ the Hermit Compound and ‘converted it to a chocolate factory’ and Impulse runs it lol (dw it’s still for superheroes, the bottom couple levels were just edited a bit HE MAKES REALLY GOOD CANDY)

appearance: MR. IMPULSE AS WILLY WONKA MY BELOVED (his super suit is metal like Iron Man and has a glowing yellow i in the middle)

Zed: Worm Man

powers: sheep [: (NO HIS NAME DOESN’T MAKE SENSE IT’S FOR THE MEME)

info: fs a mad scientist- he teaches middle school science during the day XD

appearance: blond, blue eyes, ram horns that he tells his students is just a headband, lab coat + goggles even when not in the lab lol- his super suit is just. Worm Man. you know

Tango: Blaze

powers: fire + can change back and forth between super form and civilian

info: he’s super funny lol

appearance: yellow hair that looks like fire (it is actually on fire in super form), red eyes, sharp teeth in super form, if you’ve seen @lunarcrown ‘s Tango art that’s the fit style I’m thinking for the super suit

Keralis: Cyclopes

powers: siren Keralis my beloved

info: he loves kids but has kind of a spooky look to him- don’t worry, they warm up to him eventually and even call him Papa K!!

appearance: larger than average eyes but is otherwise basically normal lol his super fit is just like Aquaman style yk lots of scales

Bdubs: Apollo

powers: photokinesis

info: shreepy boi, moss hoodie, short (don’t tell him)

appearance: floofy brown hair held back w/ a red bandana, Latino, super fit is just a Greek chiton lol (he’s glowing bright enough you can’t even see him most of the time)

Ren: Red King

powers: werewolf

info: he can control which form and how he acts in said forms pretty much always- scary wolf hulk for bad guys and fluffy puppy for kids

appearance: in human form he has ears and a tail :DD

• Doc: 77

powers: let’s imagine a cross between the Hulk, the Winter Soldier, and a creeper

info: he is very good at fighting (: he’s cyborg and has green in super form

appearance: literally like seven feet tall

Scar: the Wizard

powers: telekinesis, magic

info: he is actually disabled, he just uses telekinesis to walk around as a super lol (HE HAS A MASSIVE MAGIC CAT THAT HE DISGUISES AS A NORMAL ONE DURING THE DAY)

appearance: covered in scars (obvi), bright green eyes, suit is Hot Guy fit

Cub: Bear

powers: Vex wings, skulk

info: he’s very friendly, but his super state is, uh… possessed. by the Deep Dark. I’m sure it’s fine

appearance: dark curly hair, galaxy eyes in super form but otherwise normal blue, super fit is just him covered in skulk- I’m thinking Venom vibes (SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS CONCEPT)

Grian: Evo

powers: BIGASS PARROT WINGS (and advanced sight)

info: pesky bird boy lmao he does the Jurassic Park claw tap thing when he’s hunting + on stealth missions

appearance: yeah he’s got bird feet lol he doesn’t leave the compound very much bc he can’t really disguise or lie about that

Pearl: Moth

powers: moth wings + antennae

info: she is in fact an alien but it’s okay she’s very nice unless she’s hunting with her dogs

appearance: again wings and antennae, brown hair with lighter streaks, purple eyes, super fit is like Storm/ Starfire

Gem: Dawn

powers: fire but in sunset yellow/ orange/ red/ purple colors lol

info: she’s actually descended from Gaelic royalty lmao

appearance: deer horns, orange hair which in super form turns to a fire ombré like Starfire, suit has pink honeycomb patterns

• Cleo: Medusa

powers: necromancy and turning people to stone (:

info: she died in Ancient Greece and rose as a zombie after Hades, who fell in love with her, granted her “life”. she is immortal

appearance: a zombie lol (but a hot one I promise you) with orange snakes for hair

Stress: Monster

powers: flower queennn

info: she doesn’t like dark/ stealth missions as much, but she’s all for patrol whenever

appearance: always has a flower crown for some reason?? eyes glow pink when she uses her powers and the suit is like that one fanart of Isabella from Encanto as Spider-Man

Iskall: Doom

powers: lmao they’re just a cyborg

info: a very nice person, they just can’t seem to say hello correctly

appearance: brown hair, cyber eye, tol, they pretty much wear the suit everywhere and tells people it’s cosplay and they’re their own biggest fan

Etho: Kitsune

powers: snow/ ice/ illusion mist

info: he may have accidentally adopted the New York Governer lmao whoops (he hates kids except for this one)

appearance: white hair, mask to cover scars, one red eye damaged by redstone, really tall, white fox ears and nine tails in super form

xB: Crafted

powers: Black Widow style with a big white wolf (he and Jellie get along I promise)

info: we love him but he’s an antisocial dork

appearance: black hair, blue eyes, literally just. a guy. he’s a guy. he wears fins behind his ears so people think he’s more dangerous lol

Hypno: Memorizd

powers: memory wipe + telepathy

info: he’s the main one who deals with civilians lol especially if they saw something they weren’t supposed to

appearance: aaaalways wears the black bandana over their hair, tol, emo /j- the suit is like a ninja

Wels: the Knight

powers: lmao he’s a knight idk what to tell you

info: he’s a knight with standard knight principles, but he’s chill about it. he likes theater but makes fun of the fact that he likes theater lol

appearance: blond, blue eyes, tol, he fights in a modern-looking suit of armor that keeps most of its medieval design

• Jevin: Slimer

powers: slime boi (like Frozone x Honey Lemon but slime yk)

info: he’s in the same boat as Grian- there’s really no disguising being made entirely of slime

appearance: teal slime lol (it runs in the family) supposedly he’s got a way to turn more human-looking but he hasn’t quite figured it out yet

Xisuma: Void

powers: time, space, and interdimensional portals!!

info: he and his twin are the leaders of their own groups, and they’re actually from another dimension and can’t breathe oxygen

appearance: that’s why he always wears a helmet! it’s his bones suit :DD

False

powers: superstrength, but she doesn’t use it very often

info: she’s like the Hermits’ resident suit maker that’s what she does lol

appearance: blonde choppy hair held back with welding goggles, brown eyes, covered in freckles

Mumbo

powers: none unless you count exceptional redstone skills

info: tech guy!! when someone busts something, they go straight to Mumbo

appearance: black hair, mustache (because of course), tol??, suit. always. Mumbo what

Joe

powers: none

info: the medic, because lord knows they need one

appearance: green hair lol

Beef

powers: none, but he’s really good with knives

info: he makes the food and potions, but the Hermits keep telling him not to wear that bloodstained apron around everywhere. it’s suspicious

appearance: again with the apron, and he’s scarily buff. kids are scared of him but he’s very nice really

~~~~~

Impulse had known for a very long time that he wasn’t exactly… normal.

Which isn’t a bad thing! But, the static shock people got when they touched him while he didn’t feel a thing, storms brewing when he had less-than-ideal days, and really mostly the fact that his phone never died when he held it- the charge almost seemed to be going up- all that did not seem ordinary.

So when he was recruited for a hero team because everyone at his school had apparently reported his strangeness, he wasn’t exactly surprised. But he was definitely ready to make a difference.

So Zed was some kind of sheep/ human hybrid. Did that make life a lot more difficult? In some ways, yes, but mostly no.

See, he had really good hearing. And he never had to worry about riding his skateboard, because his balance was always perfect and his skull was uncrackable. Plus he can jump like five feet on solid ground, which is pretty sick.

But people still thought he was weird. They all knew he’d grow up to be a hero… or a villain. So there was always a thin line of separation from the rest of the world, like they wanted to treat him like a fragile thing that could potentially attempt to end the world in the near future.

He would never, of course. But the only place he could really find contentment was with the Hermits.

Tango had discovered his powers in a… less pleasant manner.

Basically all he remembered was yelling. It was scary, he was seven years old, and… something just broke.

Then there was fire.

His parents, as far from that title as they were, did not make it out. Somehow, he managed to escape unscathed. Physically, anyways.

Foster care was pretty lame, but it was better than his old home life. Still, the only people he views as family are his team.

Keralis had loved singing for as long as he could remember. Especially because everyone loved to listen!

His mother had come from the sea, and his father was a fisherman. Keralis liked that his parents were sort of like a fairy tale. His mother taught him how to sing when he was young, but especially to control what he sang. She said he could really hurt people, and while at the time he didn’t know what that meant, he went along with it.

Until one day at a summer camp, they had a screaming contest (they were middle schoolers, don’t question it). Every window in the camp shattered, and six kids had to go home with ruptured eardrums.

He was immediately handed over to the American Hero Monitoring compound. There, he met X and Bdubs, and they didn’t mind his voice. Plus his parents visited on weekends! The only thing he loves more than singing is being a hero.

Bdubs and his brother had learned early on that not everyone likes heroes.

Maybe they shouldn’t have shown people that the two of them could play catch with a ball made of actual light, because they were then immediately accused of witchcraft. Witchcraft, really? Is this the sixteenth century?

Their family was forced to move to New York, and the AHM got ahold of both boys not long after. Because they bragged once, to a bunch of classmates in a small-town school that they’d been going to their entire lives. Bdubs opted to be a hero; show people that he can be good, but Puncenge wasn’t quite ready to forgive them all. He promised he wouldn’t ever use his powers for bad, but when he broke out of the compound with X’s twin, Bdubs didn’t go with.

The rest of the Hermits would probably kill him if they found out he was still in contact with one of America’s biggest supervillains.

There was a famous werewolf cryptid in Britain, and a lot of people were after him.

The original Hermit Initiative Program, with only Keralis, Xisuma, Tango, and Bdubs- well, their first mission was to capture him. Luckily, it wasn’t all that difficult.

See, Ren was not a monster. Most of the time he lived in town and was just… a normal dude. On the days where he was too sore or lazy to put a hat on and hide his tail somewhere inconvenient, he just let people believe he was a furry, because he couldn’t give less of a fuck.

So tracking down a guy with literal wolf ears and a tail wasn’t difficult, especially when he wasn’t doing much to hide. Ren was more than happy to get away from the hunters and to a place where he could just live and be normal.

Doc was the result of several government experiments- none of them good.

When scientists had discovered a new species of what looked like furry green things that walked on three legs and looked sad all the time, they figured whatever it was should be kept hidden from the public.

Especially after one of them blew a crater in the side of a mountain and killed three people.

A recently convicted scientist himself was selected to be, uh… tested on. It was a lot of blood and pain, but hey, that’s not a bad exchange for immortality and infinite explosive material.

Scar lost mobility in his legs thanks to a particularly risky mission in his rookie days- he got every civilian out, but there was definitely a cost.

It’s okay though!! His telekinesis allows him to move freely when he’s super-ing, and he has a big magical cat to keep him company at home. He was more than thrilled when there was an offer extended to him to be a Hermit, although he found it funny that it took them so long to locate him (a disabled person could never be a hero! *cough* Daredevil haters *cough*)

Cub was a scientist who… may have flown a little too close to the sun. See, he wanted powers, and he was successfully able to give himself wings! Unfortunately for him, he was too curious to stop there.

See, he’d found something called skulk deep, deep underground, in a buried city he and his team were excavating. Something big and very, very loud kept killing them whenever they took more than a few steps in, though, so the site was declared off-limits to everyone.

But Cub snuck in by himself, all the way to the center of the city. There was a portal there, and when he stepped through it… well, he either met God or Satan. Either way, now he’s basically Venom but with a much better color scheme, and he can no longer die! The only catch is that he’s a little bit possessed when using his powers, but the Hermits are there to look out for him.

Grian learned how to hunt very quickly and very suddenly, on the day superheroes were made illegal around the world.

Because, well, the best of the best were after him.

A bird boy! And a pesky one at that! Who used to be a hero! Everyone wanted to get their hands on Evo, and unfortunately, Grian was forced into hiding. Not that it was difficult- he had wings and razor sharp talons, so it wasn’t like anyone non-super could really get to him, but that didn’t stop people from trying.

He’s all for staying in the Hermit compound all day. It means he can lay out pranks while all the normal people are at work.

So maybe Pearl was born in Area 51. That didn’t exactly make her an alien. Maybe. Probably.

Listen. She has wings and antennae, plus a big pretty spaceship DNA-encoded to her, but did that mean she wasn’t from Earth? Of course not! There are plenty of weird people there. Plus, her ancestors were worshiped by the people of Sanctuary. It’s like… fine.

She’s happy to be a hero, of course. When she got an in on the most prestigious hero group in America (Australia was totally dominated by some clown who looked like a gingerbread man), she was absolutely all in. Hermits are better than some lazer beam, anyways.

When Gem transitioned, she didn’t think it would come with fire powers. But hey, bonus.

She kept her antlers, but she actually liked that part. Her people didn’t see her as any less of a princess or priestess, if anything they loved her more for bringing that kind of power to their city, Dawn, which she took for her hero alias.

She had two groups she was a part of, actually, plus with the business of being Gaelic royalty to a group of people previously thought to be extinct, she had a full schedule. But she of course wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Cleo lived in Locri, Italy, way back in Ancient Greek times. She loved her patron goddess, Persephone, and didn’t actually mind Hades. She worked in the city’s mausoleum and crypt, so she got used to death pretty quick.

Well, Hades took a particular interest in her. Not that he could do anything, of course, she was a priestess of both him and his wife. But he harbored a crush of sorts all the way through her life.

She did die. She was mortal, after all. But she was so gorgeous, Hades couldn’t bear that loss, so… he granted her eternal ‘life’. She was green and missing a few pieces and was messily sewn together, plus her fiery orange hair had turned to snakes like Medusa’s, but she walked the earth again.

She never died again. She can’t, which makes her the ideal hero, although she won’t hesitate to paralyze you for a comment about her hourglass shape-

Honestly, Stress didn’t even want to be a hero, mostly. She owned a flower shop and she’d gotten there with the help of exactly zero men, and she didn’t have an interest in changing the world or anything.

Only problem- she had superpowers, and they were sort of hard to contain. Whenever she got antsy, cacti started to grow out of her carpet under her feet, and after getting those stupid invisible thorns stuck between her toes one too many times, she decided to get out and do things with her powers.

The Hermits were happy to have her, and she’s happy to report that she and the other girls are almost their own little team within the big group- and they’re fine-tuned to perfection.

Iskall’s modifications were actually their choice. There was an offer by some mysterious guy in a suit to be rich and powerful beyond belief, and since they were sick of living on the street, they took it.

So they ripped an arm and an eye out. Was it worth it? Definitely.

No one makes fun of them anymore, for being NB or anything else, and they did pay them a lot. The only catch was singing onto a government sanctioned hero organization, and they were happy to go with their girlfriend to the Hermits. She slapped them for being an idiot and allowing themself to be experimented on, but she was happy to have them along.

If you don’t know what a Kitsune is, it’s a Japanese mythical creature that has two forms: fox and human (usually female). They’re kind of like sirens, and they’re absolutely stunning, but very manipulative and usually malicious.

Etho picked the name for the fact that he’s like half fox lol not that he’s evil; his ears and nine tails match the color of his hair. He is in fact immortal, but he doesn’t find that out until someone tries to off him and it just… doesn’t work. He can scar and be wounded, yeah, but death can never catch him.

There are a number of ways to become an assassin. Maybe you were raised since you were a kid. Maybe you were drafted by the government to cut back your sentence Suicide Squad-style. xB signed on in high school for extra credit.

Yeah, his history teacher was secretly a hitman, and students could sign a contract of silence to go on missions for extra credit. Sounds sketch, but it wasn’t terrible. He learned how to kill a man in over a hundred ways just with his hands and didn’t have to learn a thing about the Cold War through all of high school.

He decided just killing people was sort of immoral… although mostly that if he got good enough heroes would start to notice him. He figured if he couldn’t outrun them, he’d better join. And it was a good thing he did- he got his car-sized dog because of it.

Hypno was the most popular kid in his school for one reason: he had control over people’s memories. When someone asked him to make their teacher forget a due date, it magically happened. If an admin found out and tried to stop him, he wiped that as well.

Maybe he got a little carried away. He panicked one day and used it on his parents, only he put in too much effort in his lack of control, and… next thing he knew they were asking who he was and why he was in their house.

He hid from the AHM for as long as he could, thinking he’d be arrested. When they finally did track him down, they agreed to not throw him in a cell on one condition: join the Hermits. Honestly, not a bad deal.

In high school, Wels was… a huge nerd.

Yeah, he was on the varsity football team. But all his real passion went into theater and larping.

He and his twin brother, who was in the same boat, were exploring an abandoned excavation site behind their house one night, when the floor caved and they fell into the depths of what looked like an old buried building.

There were voices. The boys were knighted by ghosts and gifted unbreakable suits of armor. They left that site and had to pretend like everything was normal and fine with their lives. It came with a dope sword though, so who’s complaining?

Being made entirely of slime was cool because you couldn’t really be injured, but not as great because of how plain weird that made you.

Jevin and his cousin Charlie, who was also a hero, were in fact made of slime, as is their whole family. It’s just a weird gene that no one will specify on, but Jev doesn’t really mind.

The thing is, he’s resistant/ immune to pretty much everything. Extreme temperatures just sort of make him slower, and everything else goes through him or gets stuck in him. Not all that convenient, but it’s a nice perk when saving people. He doesn’t have to worry about himself.

Xisuma and his twin are the most powerful beings to ever exist.

Both of them can open portals through space, time, and other dimensions. They’re the only recorded people with that kind of power, ever. It makes them good leaders, but when one is constantly trying to destroy the world while the other is always trying to stop that from happening, scales balance out. If they were on the same side, there would be zero crime anywhere. Ever.

False started her business building little robots to make people’s lives easier, like a Roomba modified for carpet or a drone that pathfinds from your fridge to your living room to deliver drinks, and then it evolved from there.

When it started to get a bit too big to handle, that’s when she conveniently met Mumbo.

The two of them had been working on something highly illegal- a weaponized drone in the shape of a person to be piloted around like a dummy hero- when Evo and Medusa fell right through their warehouse roof, singed around the edges and badly hurt.

Mumbo and False’s service was so highly rated, the Hermits decided to officially adopt them into their team.

Joe and Beef share a kitchen/ lab, which is a good thing, because they’re kind of in the same field. Beef makes potions and food, and Joe is the healer. They’ve always been Hermits, as in assigned by the AHM always.

When various Hermits come in to steal food Beef usually throws either the nearest piece of fruit or a knife, whichever is closest to his hand. Everyone knows you don’t touch the cookies until you have express permission.

And Joe has patched up so many burns, bullet wounds, and stabs, that stitches are literally a no-brainer and he can be watching a movie in the background without a problem. It’s much more fun when heroes are made legal again so he can actually repair real damage made by supervillains.

The Hermits love them, don’t worry, no matter how many needles or knives are pointed their way.

~~~~~

so! there you go! please, PLEASE ask me to write stuff for this au, because I’m more than happy to do any hero scenario you can think of! if you want a villain list I’m sure that can be achieved, and although they’re mostly just Helsmits, it’s a fun concept.

so you know, think up a mission and send it my way. I’m so ready. what did you think?

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