and-she-recovers

[red-dyed-sarumane]

i hate cars and driving and i hate that its set up to require a car to get literally fucking anywhere unless u have an extra several hours to walk TO the nearest town that doesnt even have anything of interest in it

[babyjamiebarnes]

Build-A-Bear

Part Four

Featuring: Bucky x Stark!reader, dad!Tony, Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, various characters in other chapters

Warnings: language, making out

Chapter Summary: You go on a short trip to Massachusetts to see Peter, Bucky takes you on a second date, someone gets caught doing something they shouldn’t.

Author’s Note: This was going to be a filler but it has a decent amount of necessary plot and progression. The next part will have a time jump so I don’t have to include a bunch of filler chapters, blehk. Let me know if you see my Avatar: The Last Airbender reference in here! And as always, you’re welcome to send me a coffee!

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Tags: @kennedywxlsh @ursmolbunny @devilswaldorf

By the time Monday rolled around, you were thankful Bucky had training in the morning or you would’ve never gone to sleep. Most of the deeper subjects had been touched on when you were together on Saturday, so Sunday was just texting more playful banter and fun facts you hadn’t learned during your lab hangouts, but you two still talked until your phone was propped up on your pillow waiting for another message while you drifted in and out of sleep.

Bucky had sent you a sweet “good morning, doll” text for you to wake up to, but you didn’t talk much before you had to head to work and he had to work out with Steve. That’s the downside to waking up with just enough time to get ready. Not much wiggle room for distractions, no matter how delicious.

You had barely settled in to your workspace, specs for Sam’s wings pulled up in front of you, when you had a request for a FaceTime call from Peter, of all people. You hadn’t seen him in a few weeks since he went back to campus, but he was set to come back soon for a weekend.

“Hey Peter, what’s up?” you answered.

“Hey [Y/N]! I, uh, I kind of have a big favor to ask,” he said with a forced chuckle.

“Oh… okay? What’s going on?”

“Well, you remember that project you wanted my help on?” You nodded. “Well I talked to my professor about it and he said I can use it as my final project for this semester as long as you come to the proposal and document what you did on it so I don’t take credit for any of your work. If you don’t want to, that’s totally fine! I can probably work on another project, I just don’t want to put your project off and make you wait for me to finish my part —“

“Peter!” you shouted, cutting off his rambling with a laugh. “I think that sounds great. It’ll be nice for you to kill two birds with one stone. When would I need to be there?”

“Uhh,” he started with another forced laugh. “My proposal is Wednesday.”

You stared at the screen, motionless at his response. “Wednesday. Like, two days from now, Wednesday?” Peter nodded. You could practically see him sweating through the phone, worrying about whether or not he should’ve asked his professor sooner or just completely avoided the subject entirely. But you knew he probably didn’t have much heads-up and considered using your project a little late in the game. “It’s a good thing I like you, kid. Let me double check with the boss but I’m sure that’ll be fine.”

“Yes! You’re the best!” Peter cheered.

“I’ll text you when my flight leaves because there’s no way I’m driving ten hours.”

You and Peter briefly went over how things would work, from what you should wear to whether you’d be getting a hotel room or bunking on his futon. While you were talking, you emailed your dad about the trip and got a quick approval. Tony liked Peter, and you understood why. He reminded you of your father if your dad had a stutter instead of an ego.

Mid-afternoon, when you took your second 20-minute break of the day just to let your brain relax, there was a soft tap on the door of your lab before Bucky poked his head in. He stepped in and looked around the whole room frantically before he noticed you curled up under a blanket on the giant bean bag chair you shoved into the corner once Peter left. You liked being able to take your breaks in the quiet of the lab so your brain could actually shut down for a few minutes.

“Oh, hey,” Bucky said with a smile.

“Hey Buck,” you replied, mirroring his smile. “How’s your day?”

“Pretty good,” he said with a sigh. “Just bored so I thought I’d see what you were up to.”

“Just taking a break,” you shrugged. “But you’re more than welcome to sit with me while I work. I won’t interact much because I lose focus easily but you can hang out.”

“As appealing as that is,” he started as he walked closer to you in your bean bag chair, “I know I’d start asking questions and I don’t want to distract you.”

You stood from your spot as he got closer and smirked up at him. “You are pretty distracting.” He stopped when he was toe-to-toe with you. “It’s a good thing my breaks are made for distraction.”

He smiled down at you as his warm hand curled around the back of your neck and pulled you into him for a kiss, your own hands looping through his belt and pulling his body closer to yours.

You practically melted into him, feeling as if you couldn’t get closer no matter how hard you tried. Even him slipping his thigh between your legs didn’t feel close enough. Then the weight of his metal hand fell to your waist as his tongue entered your mouth. It was all reminiscent of your first kiss just a couple days before.

Except outside your apartment, you didn’t have to worry about getting caught.

“Hey [Y/N], have you—“ You and Bucky quickly pulled apart at the sound of a new voice coming from the doorway and you immediately started to panic.

“—seen Bucky,” Steve ended with a sigh. The door quietly clicked shut behind him as he stepped in. “So you two…?”

“Have been on a date,” you said, walking toward Steve with your hands held out. “Steve, please don’t tell anyone, especially Tony.”

“You kind of owe me one, punk,” Bucky said as he walked closer, his hands shoved in his pockets. “I never ratted you out for lying on, what, five different enlistment papers?”

Steve huffed at this, clearly stuck between following the rules or letting others break rules that were much more harmless than his past rule breaking.

“You know this is gonna come out eventually, right? You won’t be able to hide this — and whatever this becomes — forever,” Steve warned.

“We know,” you said solemnly, “but it’s nice to just have this for now, you know?” You looked over at Bucky, who was leaning against the lab table looking back at you, his lips quirked in a small smile.

“Just… be careful,” Steve said as he started to leave. “If you don’t lock the door, at least ask Friday to alert you if someone is coming this way.”

“You know, I don’t care what people say about you, Steve. You’re pretty smart.” Steve initially smiled but then let out a short ‘hey!’ as you pushed him the rest of the way out.

“That was close,” you said, turning back to Bucky.

“But at least we have a pretty influential Avenger on our side, if we ever get outed,” Bucky said. Too bad he didn’t know the approval of everyone on earth would mean nothing to your dad — and both of your boss.

“Well, that little debacle kind of wasted the rest of my break,” you pouted, stepping up to Bucky.

“Can I take you out again?”

“I’d like that a lot,” you smiled. “Oh! I’m leaving for Massachusetts tomorrow and coming back on Thursday and have my family thing on Friday so will Saturday work?”

“Massachusetts?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the rest of your statement.

“Yeah, I’m helping Peter with a project so his prof wants me to be there to answer questions while he proposes his project. It’ll just be Wednesday, but Tony let me have tomorrow and Thursday off for travel so I’m taking my time.”

“That sounds…” Bucky started. “Uhh… I gotta be honest, that sounds unbearably boring,” he laughed, making you giggle with him. “But good luck to you and Peter. I’ll see you Saturday?”

•

The trip to Massachusetts was short but boring, and you were relieved to see Peter’s car when you stepped outside. Your hotel was right down the road from his dorm, so you dropped your stuff off before heading to his room to go over the proposal.

Even though you had only spent a few weeks working with Peter, he had grown to be like a brother to you. Spending so much time every day with no one else to talk to can really help people bond. Your dad’s adoration for the kid definitely helped, too. You wouldn’t be surprised if your dad eventually brought Peter along to family dinner.

“So I have to do most of the work, but you’ll need to explain why we’re doing this and what you’ll be doing,” Peter said after reviewing his speech.

“Okay, I can manage that.”

Peter was quiet for a second before saying, “Do you… maybe wanna go over what you’ll say…?”

“Oh, sure! Sorry, public speaking is a big thing in my family so I just figured I’d wing it.”

“Please don’t,” Peter said quietly, his eyes going wide right as the words left his mouth. “I don’t mean that in a bad way! I just mean, this proposal is important to me so I want it to go as smoothly and well-planned as possible.”

“Okay, you be your professor.”

Peter cleared his throat and said, “Miss [Y/L/N], what prompted you to start this project with Mr. Parker? And what role will you play in its growth?”

“Well, Dr. Kramer, I recently received a promotion within Stark Industries to work with the Avengers on their weaponry. This work included the vibranium arm on the Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes. One thing I noticed early on was the lack of sensory receptors within the arm. That observation, along with a similar request from Mr, Barnes, prompted me to look into ways to change this. Mr. Parker has an internship with Mr. Stark so, considering our different areas of study, I sought out his help. With my knowledge and expertise on the mechanical side of things, Mr. Parker will primarily be working on the more biological side of things. Once he finds a way to connect new receptors to the spinal column through the current nerve channels, I’ll be able to create millions of micro-receptors that will need to essentially be surgically embedded in the vibranium. I already have the blueprints for this process; I’m more than willing to share those documents with you, though it is confidential and I would need you to sign an NDA for safety reasons.”

Peter stood in the middle of his room, speechless.

“I told you it runs in my family,” you laughed. “Now pick your jaw up off the floor. I’m hungry.”

The next day, Peter and you breezed through the proposal. Peter didn’t even stutter during his speech! But his classmates did bombard you with questions that the professor quickly shut down. You and Peter spent the rest of the day catching up. He introduced you to his girlfriend Michelle and his friends Ned and Flash. By the time you got back to your hotel that night, you were exhausted — and thankful for an afternoon flight.

The next morning, you got breakfast with Peter before his class and finished packing to fly back to New York. You were once again grateful for an afternoon flight because by the time you got back, you didn’t have time to get back to work. So you took the evening off and treated yourself to a bath, some wine, and your favorite Netflix series — and texting Bucky, of course.

Family dinner that week was much easier than the previous week. Your dad mainly asked about your project with Peter, only briefly touching on Bucky’s involvement. At least until your phone buzzed on the table. It was a rule that phones stay face-up on the table at dinner and any messages get read aloud. So when you saw “James 🐻” pop up, heat rushed to your face. You managed to snatch your phone before your dad could, but you still had to read it out loud to the table.

“Uh,” you nervously cleared your throat. “So, James said ‘I have an idea for our date tomorrow, but I would need full reign over your kitchen for a while.’” You sent the table a tight-lipped smile as you locked your phone and set it down again, waiting for someone to say something.

“You’re going out with this James again?” your dad asked.

“Yes,” you said plainly. “I like him, dad. A lot.”

“And you’re already inviting him over?”

“Dad, stop. I’m a grown woman; I can make my own decisions.”

“I’m not saying you can’t, I’m just saying… well, don’t you want to get to know him better first? Make sure he doesn’t want to wear your skin?”

“Ew, shut up,” you laughed. “I’ve done plenty of research into him; he’s a good guy.” Your dad still looked skeptical, so you pulled out your puppy dog eyes. “Please trust me on this.”

Tony huffed and shook his head. “Okay, fine. He’s a good guy. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. And don’t do anything I would do either.” You rolled your eyes at him but managed to divert the conversation by asking Happy and Pepper what Tony’s limit really meant.

•

The next day at 3:30 on the dot, you got a call to your house phone by the front door. It was unusual, especially since you hadn’t ordered any food. The doorman usually brought food up, but called if they were working alone. And you knew they weren’t working alone, considering how early it was. Still in your sweats and a t-shirt since Bucky wasn’t coming over until 4, you answered the phone with a simple “hey.”

“Hello Miss [Y/L/N],” you recognized the doorman Matt’s voice, “there’s a James at the front door for you?”

“Oh, okay, shit,” you said, whispering the last word to yourself. “Go ahead and send him up.”

“Would you like to grant him regular access to your residence?” Matt was always so formal, probably because you pushed for your dad to hire him and he knew he had to keep this gig. His background check showed he came from a low-income family and really wanted to turn that around. He knew he owed you and because of that, he was always grateful and sweet.

“Yes please. Thanks, Matt!”

With that, you hung up and sprinted to your room, knowing Bucky only had a 20 second elevator ride before he got to the sixth floor. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t have time to scramble for new clothes before there was a knock at your door. You grumbled as you ran back to the front door and greeted Bucky.

“Hi,” you said, half out of breath from your scurrying.

“Hey,” he smiled back. “I’m glad we chose the same style today.”

You gave him an admittedly generous once-over and realized his gray sweats and black tee matched yours, though your shirt did have an NYU logo on it.

“Oh thank god,” you nearly cackled. “I was panicking because I thought I should dress nice but you were early so I didn’t have time but I didn’t want to get ready too early so I wasn’t —“

“Hey [Y/N]?” Bucky interrupted. “Can I come in?”

“Oh, shit, yeah.” You stepped aside and let him kick his shoes off in the entryway. That’s when you noticed all the grocery bags in his hands. “Uhh, whatcha got there?”

“I said I’d need your kitchen, right?” he smiled, sending a wink your way as he started setting up. “I’m gonna cook you some authentic Romanian dishes ma used to make back in the ‘30s.”

“Ohh, sounds yummy. Can I help?”

“If you want to eat any of it, you better help,” Bucky joked.

“Let me grab a couple aprons so our fancy attire doesn’t get dirty.” In the hallway closet, you had about a dozen aprons Happy got for you. You said you needed some aprons once and suddenly you were getting new aprons for every gift-giving holiday. You appreciated it, though. Every time Happy saw an apron he thought you’d like, he bought it. And you, in return, bought him every oven mitt you thought he would like after he accidentally burned his hand making green bean casserole one year for Thanksgiving.

You grabbed the “Queen of the Cat-chen” apron covered in cats for yourself and for Bucky, the “I’ll feed all you fuckers” apron your dad thought was hilarious on your last birthday.

“Sorry I don’t have any matching chef hats,” you joked as you handed Bucky his apron.

For the next three hours, you followed all Bucky’s instructions and watched as he did his part of the work, chatting while things cooked and finally relaxing once everything was plated. You each had a decent amount of food debris on your aprons, making you thankful you both wore them. You led Bucky into the living room where you sat on the floor between your couch and the coffee table.

“You know the couch is made for sitting, right?” Bucky asked as he slowly sat behind you, one leg on either side of your body.

“Yeah, but it’s more fun to sit on the floor, especially when I’m eating.” You turned your head to face him as you continued, “I get too sleepy if I’m on the couch too long.”

He chuckled at your confession but didn’t argue. You both ate in comfortable silence, the only sound coming from the hum of traffic six floors down and the TV quietly playing a crackling fire YouTube video.

“Can you finish this for me?” you asked as Bucky set his empty plate on the coffee table.

“I’m full, doll.”

“Bucky, please? I can’t finish it,” you whines, pouting up at him.

“Then just put it away with the leftovers and eat it later,” he shrugged.

“But I’m so bad at eating leftovers,” you groaned.

“Then I’ll put it away and eat the leftovers,” he conceded. He snatched the plate from you and headed to your kitchen to pack it all away.

By the time he made it back, you were snuggled under a blanket on the couch with “What’s Your Number?” pulled up on the TV.

“I hope you’re okay with watching my favorite movie,” you smiled, making sure to flutter your eyelashes extra hard so he couldn’t say no.

“I haven’t seen this one yet so sure,” he said with a shrug.

He yanked the blanket off your body and unfolded it so he could bring you under his right arm and cover both of you with the thick fabric. Ever since Monday in the lab, he’s been more affectionate. He stopped by on Friday and kissed you at least half a dozen times before he left, then earlier while you were cooking, it was like he had to hold your hips every time he watched over your shoulder, and he chose to end the night holding you into his side and… oh, you were a goner once his fingers started lightly tracing shapes on your bare arm.

And he had to have known you were weak, if the way he angled his body toward you was any indication. You loved the movie you had picked out and really did want to watch it… but when you looked up at Bucky and saw his gaze meet yours, you knew the movie was going to be long forgotten.

His lips pressed to yours firmly, like he wanted to make sure you remembered what he felt like. You quickly let things escalate by gripping his hair and pulling him with you and you laid back on the couch. Your legs fell open as he slid right between them, his left arm propped on the cushion to keep himself from crushing you and his right slipping under your shirt to hold your waist. When his tongue passed your lips, you couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling of him taking control. His hand never moved past your waist, just occasionally squeezing as he pressed his body against yours.

The rest of the night was spent alternating between making out, talking while you were chest to chest on the couch, and making out some more until you fell asleep against his chest.

•

The next morning, you woke up to the blaring sound of a ringtone... that wasn’t your ringtone. And you were on your couch? The sleepy haze quickly wore off when you felt Bucky’s body shift behind you to reach over and grab his phone.

“What?” he answered grumpily, though your body’s initial reaction was to how deep and gravelly his voice was in the morning. Fuck.

With how close you two were and how quiet it was with the TV off, you managed to barely make out what was being said on the other end of the line.

“Where are you?” It was Steve. “You were supposed to be at the group breakfast this morning but you weren’t in your room so I told Tony you weren’t feeling well.”

“Oh, fuck,” Bucky groaned. Now that sound sent all your senses into overdrive. “I fell asleep at [Y/N]’s last night.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” Steve replied, clearly exasperated. “Look, just stop by a convenience store and grab some medicine so when you get back, no one questions it. You snuck out when no one saw, that’s the story.”

“Thanks, man. I’ll head out soon.” Once they hung up, you rolled over on the couch to face Bucky.

“Good morning,” you said with a sleepy grin.

“Good morning,” he replied, pressing a slow, gentle kiss to your lips. “I’m sure you heard but I’ve gotta head out before Tony gets suspicious.”

“Okay. Text me when you get back?”

Bucky stood from the couch, and you followed suit behind him as he put his sneakers and jacket on.

“I’ll text you on my whole trip back,” he smiled. “Looks like you might have to bring those leftovers with you tomorrow. I don’t know that I can sneak them back today.”

You practically skipped to join him at the door, your hands going to rest on his chest before he could leave.

“Should we just designate Saturdays as our date nights?” you asked.

“Who said you get another date?” Bucky joked back.

“Excuse me?” you gasped in mock offense. “Next time I get to choose what we do and I’m not letting you take that away from me.”

Bucky chuckled at your little outburst but pressed another kiss to your lips as a peace offering.

“Next Saturday, your pick,” he smirked.

“It’s a date.”

[ladyblogger-margie]

Permit Pending - Part 1

Pairing: Will Miller (Triple Frontier) x F!Reader

Summary: All Will Miller wanted was a park permit for a VA fundraiser, what he got instead was an unscheduled afternoon exploring different parks with F!Reader.

Word Count:  3890

Rating: G (smut to come in chapter 2!)

Warnings: Course language. Eventual smut in future chapters. 

a/n: My first time writing reader insert and for Will Miller AND for Triple Frontier, so any feedback at all is appreciated. No Y/N. 

Series Master List

3-2-1, Will Miller counted down to the ring of his morning alarm clock. Just like every single day his phone blared a monotonous alarm sound at exactly 05:42 and Will shut it off. He spent the next three minutes practicing mindful breathing and preparing for the day ahead. At 05:45 he rose and changed into his gym clothes. 

He shook together a protein shake as he rode the elevator down to the surprisingly decent gym in his building where he did exactly 30 minutes of cardio followed by an hour of weight training. Today was back and chest day – his favorite – so of course he decided to listen to a podcast instead of a playlist of high tempo motivational music. It was easier to be motivated for something you already wanted to do after all. The podcast today was about finding a balance between order and relaxation, something his therapist had recommended he do before his insurance ran out on therapy sessions and he opted out of continuing the process.

After the gym he returned to his apartment and started the coffee maker. After a quick shower and some facial hair maintenance, he dressed in one of his branded polo shirts and drank his coffee with his breakfast. He had two talks scheduled for the day before lunch, then an errand to run after lunch. Later that evening he would meet up with Benny for fight training. Today could not be any more normal for him - exactly the same as the day before, and the day before that. 

Or so he thought. 

You woke up groaning when your alarm went off at 7:15am. You snoozed it. You also snoozed your 7:22am, 7:31am, and 7:40am alarms. You finally rolled yourself out of bed at 7:50am in time for your quick 30 minute yoga routine before you got ready for work. 

You breezed into the parks and recreation office at City Hall at exactly 8:57am. You grabbed a cup of coffee from the office machine knowing that if you got up at 7:15am as planned you would’ve had time to stop at Starbucks on your way into the office. 

You spent your morning as you usually did - catching up on your passion projects which were the youth sport organizations. You ensured all the public teams had access to the necessary fields and confirmed with the greens team that they were all in working order. You loved your mornings at work even though you weren’t necessarily a morning person. 

After lunch was another story. After a series of poorly timed budget cuts, your department was forced to cancel the internship program. That meant you were drafted into working the permit desks in the afternoons. You knew that it wasn’t actually the worst thing in the world, it was just so boring. The applications were longer than they had any right to be and filled with confusing language. This meant nearly every single application required a specific follow up that never fit one of the many form responses you’d been accumulating in the hopes of streamlining the process. 

Of course you wanted your community to take advantage of the awesome parks in your town, but apparently the legal department didn’t. It put you in a difficult spot where sometimes you were forced to give the park permits to corporations instead of individuals and it drove you crazy to do so. It also locked you to a desk unless a specific permit issue arose that required an in-person follow up which never happened. Which is why after lunch you went off campus to get yourself your favourite Starbucks order because the permit desk on a Monday required the heavy artillery to survive. 

Or so you thought. 

After a few hours of pouring over pages and pages of documents, the most handsome man you had ever seen walked into the office. He had blonde hair and soft eyes which you noticed right away but immediately after you were drawn to his strong chest tightly wrapped in a blue polo with some logo you didn’t recognize over one of his firm pecs. 

“My name is William Miller, and I’m hoping you can help me with a park permit,” the man said, holding out his hand to you. 

You composed yourself as quickly as you could and introduced yourself in return, shaking his hand. “I’d be happy to help you with that,” you said as you let go. His hands were firm and from the callouses you could tell he worked out, though his general physique already gave that away. 

He smiled at you and you felt something stir inside you that was not exactly professional, “Did you have a specific location in mind?”

“No, actually I was hoping to get your opinion. I’m helping to put together a community fundraiser, a BBQ actually, to help support the local VA, but I’m not exactly sure where would be the best place to set something like that up,” he replied. 

You knew exactly where to send him. There was a perfect location you often recommended for huge family reunions, outdoor wedding receptions, and concerts. But as you looked down at the desk for the correct application form you saw the huge pile of pages still left unread taunting you and you got an idea, “Why don’t I give you a tour of a few different locations to help you make your decision?” 

“That’s a service you offer here?”

“We aim to please” you said, desperate for an excuse to get out of the office. 

Will hesitated as he fiddled with his keys for a moment. 

“I could drive if you like,” he offered.

You smiled as professionally as you could, trying to contain your glee. 

“Thank you, let me just check out with my boss and I’ll be right back” you darted away before you could blow your composure. 

You stuck your head into your boss’ office. “Hey, I’m stepping away from the desk. Some guy is insisting I help him pick a park location for his permit request. I’m on my cell if there’s an emergency” you said, not stopping to hear their response before darting off. 

You grabbed your coffee off the desk and landed in front of Will. “Ready,” you said as he smiled warmly at you. He held the door open for you as you left the office, and your boring afternoon, behind.

He led you to his truck in the parking lot and held open the passenger door for you which made your heart flutter though you tried to control it and you reminded yourself that this was a professional outing, not a date. 

He climbed into the cab beside you and started the truck before he turned to you and asked, “Where to?”

You gave him directions to a park you know wouldn’t work, but it did have a couple of soccer fields, and you wanted to check the nets there for holes and figured you could push your luck a bit more today. 

He pulled into the park parking lot and looked around with a slight purse of his lips and a furrow in his brow. He cleared his throat before asking, “I did explain it was a BBQ, right? I don’t really see a place for that,”. 

You suddenly felt guilty, thinking he probably had somewhere else to be today and you derailed him for your own selfish reasons. “I’m sorry, I’m keeping you. I just had to get out of the office, and I took advantage of you. If you’ve got somewhere to be, leave me here with your information and I’ll get everything arranged for you at the perfect place,” you said, avoiding eye contact.

To your surprise he smiled at you, “You should’ve said, I’ve got nothing going on this afternoon, I can help you play hooky.” 

You smiled back at him, relieved that he was on board with your scheme. 

Will watched as you inspected the soccer nets for tears and he felt a warmth in his chest he hadn’t since his fiancee, who had left him after the incident at the Publix. You were really nice and he could tell you were passionate about your job, at least parts of it, especially hearing you explain exactly what your job was while he drove you both to this destination. Plus there was no denying that he found you incredibly attractive. 

You returned to his side at the edge of the field after completing your inspection. “Thanks for waiting, there’s a middle-school tournament here starting tomorrow and I wanted to make sure everything was set,” you said to him and he knew he was in trouble. 

“Ready for park number two?” you asked. 

He nodded and led you back to the truck. 

When you arrived at park number two, Will realized this had to be the place you intended for the permit and he was a bit disappointed. He had been hoping to stretch out his afternoon with you a little longer. Before he could ask if you needed a ride back to City Hall he heard you let go a soft, sad sigh. He looked at you but you were gazing out the front window at the park. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked. 

“I’m going to kill the guys in City Planning,” you muttered upset. 

Will tried to figure out what it was you were looking at, but he couldn’t see anything wrong with the park. It looked like the perfect place for a fundraising BBQ. 

You turned to Will hopeful, “Do you have tools in this truck, or is it just for show?”

He smiled at your joke, “I’ve got a box in the back. What’s the problem?”

You gestured to a park bench, “City Planning keeps installing anti-homeless architecture in my parks and I’m not going to let them get away with it,” you said with a sly smile. 

Will knows for sure now that he definitely has a crush on you. He gets out of the truck and grabs his modest tool box from the bed and follows you over to the bench. He sees a metal arm rest in the middle of the bench, obviously installed to ensure no one lays across it. He checks the back to see how it’s attached and scoffs at the simple way it’s been bolted in and opens his tool kit. 

“Am I going to get arrested for this?” He jokes as he gets to work. 

You laugh, “You’re with me, I’ll protect you”. 

You smile at this; you could get used to the idea of having his back. He gets the bar free and you take it from him. He gestures to another bench a few steps away and he gets to work on liberating that bench too. You happily follow him as you ask, “So, you work for the VA?”

“Yeah, I mostly just run my mouth though,” he grunted as he loosened the much tighter bolt on the second bench. 

“Were you military?”

“Yeah,” He rolls up his sleeve and shows you a tattoo on his forearm, “Delta Force”. 

“But you’re retired now?”

“Something like that,”.

“Aren’t you a bit young to be retired?”

He paused and handed you the second detached metal arm. 

You felt self conscious, maybe you were being rude? “Sorry, it’s none of my business,” You said nervously. 

He shook his head, “You’re fine. It’s just not something I’m necessarily proud of though”. 

“You don’t have to explain, it’s none of my business,” You said, as you led the way to the third bench. 

“I had some trouble, and I was told my services were no longer needed in the field,” he explained getting to work on the third arm, “But I found a way to be useful, stay involved”. 

You nodded, “That couldn’t have been easy,”.

He shook his head, “There are good days, and bad days,” and he handed you the third arm. 

He looked around and didn’t see any more pieces of hostile architecture so he turned to you, “Do you need a ride back to City Hall?”

You looked at him and felt bold. “This is obviously the best park for your event, but if you’ve got nowhere to be, did you want to make one more stop and see my favorite park?”

He smiled at you and nodded his head. You led the way back to his truck where he put his tools away and took the arms from you and dumped them in the bed. 

“I can’t wait to drop those off at the City Planning office tomorrow,” you giggled triumphantly. 

You and Will loaded up into the truck and you directed him out of the parking lot. 

Park number 3 was your favorite place in the entire world, though to be fair you hadn’t actually travelled much so you couldn’t really compare it to anywhere else, but still. To you the lakeside beach next to the tree covered green grass was a slice of heaven. You’d go there on the weekends with a podcast lined up or an old book and spend the whole afternoon on a bench with a coffee and some fresh air. 

When Will pulled into the parking lot, you suddenly got nervous. You had lost some of your earlier boldness that suggested you open yourself up like this to a man you just met. But there was something about him, a warmth and a vulnerability that made you want him to know you, and you to know him. 

You both got out of the truck and the sun was starting to get low in the sky as you walked him to a bench that bordered the beach and the grass. You took a seat and he sat next to you, your thighs gently brushing. The contact sent a shiver down your spine that had nothing to do with the cool breeze that brushed through the leaves above your head. 

Will looked out across the lake and around the park. He felt the warmth of your leg against his and the urge to lean over and brush your cheek with his thumb nearly overwhelmed him. You were so close, it would be so easily for him to just kiss you. But he wasn’t sure you’d want that. You wanted to play hooky from work, and share your love of the parks. He couldn’t let himself think that your enthusiasm for the day had anything to do with him. Instead of holding you under his arm and against his chest, he folded in on himself and looked at you.

He was about to ask what you were thinking about when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and noticed Benny’s name on the caller ID and cursed under his breath. “I’m so sorry,” he said to you as he answered, “I’ve got to take this.”

He stands and walks a few paces away and you watch him leave, disappointed. You thought maybe he was about to ask you on a date, and tried not to let yourself be too upset that he didn’t. You watch as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head as he talked on the phone to someone you couldn’t hear and didn’t know. 

He hung up the phone and turned to look at you, and you turned away, a little embarrassed to have been caught staring at him. He walks back to you on the bench but doesn’t sit down again. 

“Thank you for showing me this place, it’s beautiful,” he said softly and his sweet voice drew your gaze to his lips as he spoke. You felt the electricity surge between you all the way through to the tips of your fingers and your toes. “I hadn’t realized how late it’s gotten, I’m supposed to be at the gym, training my brother,” he explained. 

You nodded and stood up next to him, so close you had to look up to meet his eyes. “That’s fine, I can call an Uber or something back to City Hall” and you pulled out your phone. 

He put his hand on your arm, “Don’t be silly, I’ll take you back. Plus gotta make sure those city planning guys get their gift.”

Your breath hitched when he touched you and you couldn’t contain your smile as you nodded. “Are you sure? I’ve already taken so much of your time” you said, unable to tear your eyes from his. 

“I want to”.

He walks you back to the truck and opens your door for you again and you hop in both flustered and excited. 

The drive back to City Hall is more quiet than you’ve been all day. Your previous trips were full of chit chat about sports and books and random small talk. Now all that existed in the truck was the electricity and tension between you. You wondered if he felt it too, or if the surprising infatuation was a one-sided affair. 

Will gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles went white. He had spent most the afternoon with you and he failed to buck up the courage to ask you out. You took him to your favorite place and basically hand wrapped a romantic moment, and he blew it. He didn’t know if you noticed the potential romance of the location, or if you intended to entice him so completely, but you had. And he blew his shot. 

Back at City Hall he handed you the metal arms from your adventure and you stayed by the truck. You were hoping he’d ask you out before he left. 

“Thanks for the ride, and the impromptu bench liberation, and the excuse to get out of the office,” you said with a smile, lingering longer than you needed to. 

He smiled back, maybe he could ask you now and he could still pull off the romantic gesture. “I had a great day, which I hadn’t actually expected when I went in earlier looking to fill out boring paperwork,” he said leaning unconsciously closer to you. 

He took a deep breath, ready to ask - when his cell phone rang again. He silenced it and tried again, “Hey-“ and the phone rang again and he answered it. “I’m on my way, asshole. Start with cardio,” he said, frustrated, “you don’t need me for that”.

He hung up and looked at you embarrassed by his outburst, absolutely believing that he had blown it for sure now. But you just looked at him amused, not annoyed. 

“Friend of yours?” you asked, stifling a laugh. 

“My baby brother. He’s a fighter and I’m his trainer, which I do for free by the way, but he loves to act like he’s my boss”, he explained. 

“Sounds like a character.”

“He is something that’s for sure. He’s also really special, really talented. He deserves a better lot than what he’s got”, Will's voice trailed off as he thought bitterly about how Benny left service when he did and the guilt he carried, unspoken, about that ever since. 

Will leaned back, “Do you need a walk to your car?”

“I’m alright, thank you. I better head back up to the office first anyway. Thanks again for today. Maybe I’ll see you around”, you forced a smile, abandoning all hope of a date and retreating into the building. 

Will kicked himself mentally all the way to the gym. When he got there he was in a bad mood. 

“Finally!” Benny shouted at him when he walked in.

“I have a life outside of you, you know that right?” Will spit towards Benny.

“Fuck’s wrong with you?” Benny asked.

“I told you I was on my way, what was so important that you had to call me again and nag me?” Will asked.

“You’re never late, I was worried,” Benny admitted. 

Will paused. He hasn’t thought of it like that. He was never late, it was so unlike him. It was actually kinda nice Benny worried, even if he was an ass about it.

“Well I’m here now, let’s get to it”, Will shrugged and he climbed into the ring opposite Benny. 

After training they grabbed some food together. After scarfing down most of his meal without breathing, Benny asked Will, “Why were you late? You didn’t say.”

Will cleared his throat, “I was trying to get a park permit for the VA BBQ”.

“I thought you did that right after lunch?”

“It took longer than expected,” Will said vaguely. 

Benny squinted his eyes at his older brother until the metaphorical lightbulb went off. “Oh shit!” he said, “You were with a girl! Fuck, I never would’ve called you away if I knew, you’ve been alone for so long!” 

Will threw his used napkin at his taunting brother, “Fuck off.”

“Seriously,” Benny said, not laughing anymore, “I hope I didn’t blow it for you, I want you to be happy.”

Will sighed, “I didn’t get her number, and I didn’t ask her out.”

Benny gave him a sympathetic smile, “At least you got the permit for the event.”

Will pinched the bridge of his nose, “Fuck, I completely forgot to actually get the permit.”

Benny smirked at him. “You know what that means, right?”

“No,” Will groaned. 

“You gotta go back and see her tomorrow.”

Will leaned back in his chair, his mood dramatically improved. 

The next morning you dragged yourself out of bed after your third alarm and skipped yoga, just not in the mood. You hoped stopping at Starbucks would get you out of your funk, but even your favorite coffee didn’t have its usual effect. You felt so stupid for feeling like this today. You literally knew Will Miller for all of one afternoon, it shouldn’t ruin your whole week that he didn’t ask you out. 

You walked into the office ready to be grumpy for the rest of the day when you noticed Will stand up from the chair in which he was sitting. 

Will had been waiting for you since the office opened. He was there long enough to wonder if what he was doing was creepy or sweet. The longer he waited, the worse he felt about his plan. Though once he saw you, his resolve formed and he stood to greet you. Any insecurity he had melted away when he saw how you smiled at him when you noticed him there. 

“Hey,” he started, finding his voice. 

“Hey,” you replied, breathless. 

“I never did fill out a permit yesterday, I got distracted by someone way more interesting than paperwork,” he said, unable to contain a grin. 

You felt something deep in your center as you too failed to contain a beaming smile. 

“I can help you with that,” you walked behind the permit desk and he met you on the other side. 

You handed him the paperwork and helped him fill everything out. The entire time neither of you could contain your ear splitting smiles. When he finished you stamped his form and returned his copy. 

“You’re all set, Mr. Miller,” you said, “Will there be anything else?”

He looked you the eye, “Are you free Friday night? I’d love to take you out.”

You nodded eagerly, “I’d like that.”

PART 2 

[buckthegrump]

I’ve Been Trying Hard Not To Talk To You - 3

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: Y/n hates Bucky Barnes. Absolutely loathes him what makes it worse is that she has to share her office with him. Now with a promotion on the horizon she has to find a way to work with him and not against him.

Warnings: Angst (kind of), it’s an enemies to loves, there’s not fluff in this part

Word Count: 1480

A/n: i love a good car ride scene

Y/n didn’t know how to make it any more clear that she did not want to go on this company team building beach trip. Jill smiled at her earning herself a glare. They were all gathered int the parking lot at 8:30 in the morning because this was a weekend-long thing. Y/n loved both Maria and Phil, but part of her wondered how hard it would be to find another job at a different company that didn’t do weekend-long team-building things.

Everyone was trying to figure out who was driving and who was going in which car. Typically, Y/n would offer to drive, but Carol’s stupid car was taking much longer than it should. Why did she have to be such a good aunt? This would be so much easier if Carol didn’t have Monica to hold over Y/n’s head.

“Hey, boss,” Peter beamed. “You excited for the trip?”

She was forcing herself to be at least civil to him, but goddamn did he have so much fucking energy for this early in the morning.

“You could say that,” she answered. He held out a Starbucks cup. “I can’t drink coffee.”

“It’s a chai latte,” he says. “You don’t drink coffee because of anxiety, right?”

She held back tears (she had the tendency to be a bit dramatic in the mornings). “Peter, someday you are going to make someone very happy.”

He blushed and looked at the ground but didn’t walk away.

“Bucky, can you take Y/n and Peter?” Maria’s voice cut through the fog in Y/n’s brain. “They’re the only ones that still need a ride.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no,” Y/n whispered to herself.

“Sure,” Bucky shrugged as if he didn’t hate her. As if they didn’t spend up to eight hours a day getting on each other’s nerves.

Y/n opened her mouth to protest, but then everyone started putting their bags in trunks. She barely registered when Peter offered to take her bag to Bucky’s car. She told him that she could take her own luggage, but Bucky swooped in and grabbed the handles before she could.

“Come on, we don’t want to be late.” Y/n couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not as Bucky led them to the car.

Ten minutes later, they were on the road.

Peter had oh so graciously, let Y/n have shot-gun while he was seated in the back. Bucky, who drove a stick (because of course, he did) set up the music.

Bucky Barnes, who was already devastatingly handsome (in an unfortunate sort of way that made her want to fling herself off a cliff), didn’t need to be any hotter. And that’s where Y/n’s problem was. She had always thought that a man driving was unreasonably hot, especially if they were mostly calm as they drove. 

With any luck, Bucky would have major road rage, and she could switch with someone for the drive home.

The beach was about an hour’s drive. Y/n wondered how hard it would be to fall asleep, but she didn’t know if she could trust Bucky not to find a way to draw on her face or something. Maybe she should have let Peter sit in the front.

Ten minutes into the drive, Bucky dug out his phone from his pocket and handed it to Y/n.

“Can you -” he started.

Without thinking about it, she took it. “Sure. Why is Stark Industries calling you?”

“Ignore it,” Bucky said, rolling his eyes.

“Ya know, if you roll your eyes too much, they’ll get stuck in the back of your head. And that would end up being very boring for you because there’s nothing back there.” Y/n rejected the call. A few seconds later, it started buzzing again. Only this time, the contact read Tony Stark. “Barnes, wh-wh-wh-”

“Is your brain not connected to your mouth right now? What’s going on?” Bucky chuckled.

“Why is the Tony Stark calling you? Why do you have Tony Stark’s number saved in your phone?”

“You know Tony Stark?” Peter spoke in awe.

Bucky ignored all their questions. “Will you answer it and tell him that I’m driving and can’t really talk right now?”

Y/n barked out a laugh. “I’m not answering the phone for the biggest tech genius in America. Do it yourself if you’re such good friends with him.”

Bucky rolled his eyes, again, not heeding Y/n’s warning. He grabbed the phone and answered. “Tony, I can’t really talk right now. . . Because I’m driving. . . I did. Monday morning. . . Bruce said it was fine -”

“Bruce Banner?” Peter asked in a hushed whisper.

“Tony. . . I told you I was busy this weekend. . . Yes, I can come to dinner on Thursday. . . I don’t know why you ask the answer is always no.”

Y/n strained her ears, trying to hear the second half of the conversation. Now she wished she had answered the phone.

Bucky lowered his voice a little. “No, I’m not going to do that. That’s one of the dumbest ideas you’ve ever had. I will see you Thursday.”

Bucky hung up the phone and put it in the cupholder between him and Y/n. The silence lasted all of three seconds before Peter started up again.

“So how well do you know Mr. Stark?” He asked.

“Considering that he just agreed to go to dinner with him on Thursday,” Y/n piped up, “I’d say they were in love.”

“That’s not what -” Bucky sighed. “I know him pretty well, kid. Why?”

“I applied for his internship, but I never got a call back.”

Y/n turned around in her seat and looked at him. “Peter, do you not like working here?” She shot Bucky a quick glare.

“No, it’s not that. I just - I’m more of a science person, and I just took whatever job I could get. This one paid the best, but I was really hoping that I would be able to work in the field that I actually want to go in.”

Y/n turned back around. “Told ya, you should be nicer,” she grumbled.

Bucky didn’t justify that with a response. The rest of the ride happened in silence, but Y/n really wanted to know what had happened Monday morning. Clearly, Bucky had some kind of appointment, which explained why he was so calm when he’d walked in late. She should leave it alone. He was allowed to have his secrets just as she was allowed to have hers.

* * *

Y/n had scolded herself about thirty times in the past twenty minutes. She couldn’t stop watching Bucky drive, because yes, he was very calm as he drove. It was really attractive, and his right hand would rest on the gear shift, and -

Get it together, Y/n. She scolded herself again. If she wouldn’t get car sick, she’d pull out one of the books she’d brought along for the weekend. She was trying to fall into one of her extensive daydreams when an all too familiar tune came out from the car speakers.

Saw your body language, and I know how you feeling. You look like the kind of girl who’s tired of speaking.

She bit back the laugh that was begging to be released. Glancing at the radio, she doubled checked that this was, in fact, his playlist and not the actual radio. She was struggling with whether she should say something or let it slide. Letting it slide was winning because she didn’t want to get kicked out of the car, but god bless Peter Parker.

“You like One Direction?” He asked a little too gleefully.

Y/n waited for Bucky to quickly change the song and grumble about it being on there because of his sister or an ex-girlfriend. But he didn’t.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy some of their songs,” he said simply.

Bucky said it so casually as if that wasn’t a surefire way to set her off. He needed to do something dickish so she could go right back to hating him. Hating him was as easy as breathing. It came naturally. This entire car ride was confusing the fuck out of her, and she didn’t particularly like it.

“Really?” Peter, who was sounding more and more like an excited puppy, asked.

“Yeah, my sister made me listen to them once, and I guess I just didn’t stop.”

Y/n bit the inside of her cheek.

“What?” Bucky asked. It took her a second for her to realize he was talking to her. “Are you gonna sit there and pretend that you don’t like them?”

“No, I just didn’t think that you would admit to liking one direction is all.”

“Well, sunflower, I guess there are still a few things you don’t know about me.”

[sad-sweet-cowboah]

My Little Secret part 6

Summary: You’re excited about your first date with Arthur, so excited that you find yourself nearly stressing over it. When you finally get there, some unexpected events happen.

Warnings: Blood mention

The rest of the weekend could not go by any slower.

You’d returned to work that Saturday, expectedly hounded by your boss and coworkers after the news had spread about Tom’s attempt. You kept yourself vague, reiterating that you didn’t want to take matters to the police and that a simple ban should suffice. You finally managed to get away from the prying questions once you were slammed with the expected weekend crowd.

Arthur hadn’t stopped in that night. Your own disappointment did not dampen your excitement for Monday night however. Sunday flew by in a breeze after you spent the day diving into your schoolwork, having been more eager to finish it now.

Monday morning though was dreary. You’d woken up to iron clouds and the taste of rain in the air. It began to storm once your classes were over, and you were nearly soaked from the short distance from the building to your car. Once settling into the warm and dry interior, your phone chimed.

Sam had invited you out for a late lunch, which you responded. You hadn’t eaten since 7 am and your stomach rumbled loudly at the mere thought of food. You met her at a small café on campus, which was fuller than usual due to students trying to stay out of the rain.

Sam managed to find a corner table, and waved you over once you stepped inside. You squeezed past the others and managed to sit down.

“Hey girl!” she greeted.

“Hey,” you huffed, shaking your head slightly to rid of the rain droplets. “Damn, it’s packed in here.”

“You’re telling me,” Sam sighed. “Feels like a can of sardines.”

With a few minutes of idle chatter and ordering your food, you two quieted down to enjoy your meals. After a few short moments of silence, Sam spoke again.

“Anything new with you?”

You paused, wondering if you should tell her what happened the other night with Tom. You decided against it, especially when in a crowded place such as this. The last thing you needed was Sam grilling you after your coworkers and boss, in a public place of all things. Instead your mind returning to your ever building excitement for tonight. “I have a date tonight.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “What? I thought you were gonna focus on school first!”

You gave a nonchalant shrug. “Yeah well…I couldn’t resist.”

“Who is it?” Sam pressed. “Is he cute?”

You smiled shyly, eyes casting down at your soup bowl. “It’s, uh, Arthur. That guy that bought me the drink in Saint Denis.”

Sam’s face twisted in thought for a moment before she blinked with realization. “That older guy? You’re into him?”

“He’s…really charming and sweet. Very gentlemanly too. And you said it yourself, you thought he looked good.” You responded, quirking an eyebrow at her.

 Sam tilted her head in agreement. “Yeah, you’re right. Just be careful, okay? He might just try to get into your pants.”

“He’s not like that,” you answered immediately. “Believe me, things got…a little heated between him and I the other night-“

“Oh?”

“He stopped it before anything big happened, though. Said he didn’t want to do something he’d regret.” You continued.

Sam’s eyebrows raised at that. “Wow, you don’t hear that often from a guy at any age. Guess you nabbed yourself a good one.”

You rolled your eyes. “I haven’t nabbed anything, Sam. It’s just a casual date.”

Sam raised her drink to her lips, muttering, “A casual date after almost having sex.”

“Oh, shut up!” you hissed, your voice shuddering with a laugh, throwing a small napkin at her face.

---

You’d gone home after your lunch with Sam, though having a good few hours before your date with Arthur. Your excitement was at its peak, making you feel restless. You could not stay still, bouncing back and forth between this and that and everything else. You tried to study, only having gotten through a few pages of notes before your mind jumped elsewhere. You cleaned, only finding minimal things to actually clean. You eventually turned on your TV, though it was just background noise at this point as your thoughts were abuzz with how the evening would play out.

The burger joint wasn’t anything too fancy; just a small restaurant with some good cheap food and a couple of good cheap beers to boot. Dressing up would be inappropriate in this scenario, although you were tempted to wear one of your nicer pieces just to show off for him.

How would he dress himself? Probably the same way he usually does, which you wouldn’t mind at all.

Should you order your usual food or go with something light as to not appear like a slob? Wait, why were you even considering your food choices? He probably would not care, he didn’t seem like the type that would.

With nearly two hours left to kill, you managed to calm down enough to settle on your couch. The TV was still on, and you began to flip through the channels for something interesting to watch. You eventually lost interest, landing on a news channel before turning your attention to social media.

“…Citizens of Saint Denis say they came across a dead body in an alley…”

Somehow, that sentence diverted you back to the TV. The news anchor was standing on the side of a busy street in Saint Denis.

“Coroner’s report that the victim was drained of his blood from multiple puncture wounds on various places of the body. Some say that they may resemble vampire bites.”

You stared at the TV in confusion.

“Farfetched as this seems, this is not the first body to be found like this. Other reports from New York and Los Angeles have found victims of similar fates. Are there killers who are mimicking the actions of fictional monsters?”

Who the fuck would try to pull themselves off as vampires? And why? The mere thought of it seemed farfetched that you wondered if you turned to some sort of channel of satire. Not that it was amusing, you felt bad for the victims and their families. Dying of blood loss must be a terrible way to die.

You turned the TV off then, shrouded in complete silence before the chime of your phone made you jump.

Sam had texted you again, asking about what you planned to wear.

Oh shoot, in your distraction you hadn’t exactly picked anything out!

After sorting through what you had your closet, you eventually picked out a nice blue button-up blouse and some black skinny jeans, laying them out on your bed and snapping a photo. Within a few minutes Sam sent you a thumbs up emoji.

You hopped in the shower, spending a little extra time to make sure you’d washed yourself thoroughly. You got out, brushing your teeth and drying your hair simultaneously before getting dressed. You plucked your eyebrows, inspected your face for any incoming zits, and finally added a light touch of eyeliner and lip gloss for some extra flair.

You observed yourself in the mirror, admiring yourself of having done such a great job on yourself. It’d been a while since you’ve been able to doll yourself up, having confined to the usual work clothes or your usual hoodie, T-shirt, and jeans or sweatpants when in class. You snapped a picture of yourself, posing cutely. You sent it to Sam, and a moment later you got a response.

Babe you’re so hot!! You’ll knock him on his ass for sure!

You giggled to yourself. Having dressed up like this gave you a confidence boost, enough that all prior nerves had drained away. When you finally glanced at the time, you’d realized your preparation took more time you thought. It was 7:45, and the burger joint was a ten minute drive away.

You threw on a light sweater on top of your outfit, slid into a pair of your favorite shoes and hurried out of your apartment, stepping into the cool and humid air left behind by the storm. You drove off, your heart beginning to pound from your excitement.

Sally’s Place, it was called, a quaint little building placed just on the outskirts of the university on the corner of a street. It had a gravel parking lot on the empty side, which was only half filled with cars. The outside tables were still soaked from today’s rain, so that meant inside for you.

As you parked and got out, you gazed around, hoping to see the motorcycle. No such luck yet. You took a deep breath and began to cross the parking lot when the familiar roar of an engine ripped through the night air.

As if on cue, you spotted him riding down the street, the slick black body glowing underneath the golden streetlights. You smiled widely as he slowed down and pulled into the parking lot. He wasn’t wearing a helmet, you noted, when he came to a full stop at a spot just a few yards away. Once he killed the engine and stood up, his eyes immediately met yours, a smile crossing his face.

He closed the space between you two with a casual walk, his hands resting in his pockets as he crossed the gravel. He was wearing a leather jacket, a different one that his normal attire, that shone underneath the fluorescent lighting of the entrance. Colors of the neon signs bouncing off the wrinkled black surface. Underneath he wore a simple white V-neck shirt tucked into crisp blue jeans, held up by a leather belt with a Western style buckle. His hair was slicked back as it normally was, but it appeared he had it trimmed neatly. He’d shaved as well, his cheeks and jawline smooth but with the faintest hints of stubble reappearing.

God, he was gorgeous.

“Hello, darlin’.” He greeted with a warm smile, stepping forward to give you a kiss. You’d almost stumbled forward, catching yourself at the very last second to awkwardly meet his lips briefly.

“H-hi.” You said, keeping your breathing even. Why were you this awkward around him again?

He chuckled slightly, clearly amused by your fumble. Instead of commenting on it, his eyes searched your features, traveling up and down your body with an expression of content. “Y’got all dressed up for me? Didn’t have to go n’ do that.”

You blushed heavily, turning your gaze away slightly. “Well…you didn’t have to look so damn handsome yourself.” You countered with a giggle.

He let out a huff. “Jus’ wanna make sure my ugly mug ain’t too hideous to look at for ya.”

You blinked, your shyness disappearing as you met his eyes. “You’re not hideous, Arthur. Hell, you’re one of the best looking men I’ve met.” You said seriously.

He shook his head slightly as if in disbelief. “Ready to go in?” he asked, holding his arm out to you.

Deciding not to continue to conversation, you nodded and took his arm with a smile. He led you closer to the door which he opened for you, allowing you to step in before walking in himself. You were greeted by the hostess, who brought you over to a booth.

As you walked, you noted the amount of people inside certainly reflected the amount of cars outside. Most were students from the school with a few older people here and there. The bar was half full with already tipsy middle-aged men watching a football game on the flatscreen on the wall. Soft country music played overhead.

The booth was illuminated by a soft red light. Once the menus were placed in front, you opened yours. “You ever been here, Arthur?” you asked.

“Nah, can’t say I have.” He replied, idly playing with the pages of his menu.

“Oh, then let me recommend some things. Their burgers are bangin’ obviously. But they also make good steaks and quesadillas. Oh, and their fried chicken is truly southern style!” you giggled.

He gave you a slight smile, then sighed and pushed his menu away. “They all sound great, darlin’. But I’m gonna pass on eatin’.”

You frowned and tilted your head in confusion. “Um…why?”

“Food intolerances,” he responded. “Can only eat…certain things.”

“Oh…well, they have gluten free options, and they don’t cook anything with nuts if that’s what you mean.” You pointed out.

He shook his head. “Appreciate the thought, but it’s more complex than that. S’okay though, I’ll pay for your meal and whatever else ya get. All you gotta do is provide me with some good company.”

How unorthodox. You supposed you couldn’t feel upset over this, if he had a legitimate intolerance, who were you to judge or say otherwise? Hell, you were still happy to just be here with him. “Alright, we’ll do that then.”

Arthur smiled at you. “So go on ‘head n’ order what ya want.”

It took you a while to really decide, given you were concerned about ordering something that may be too expensive for him. He assured you it would be fine, which only made you more awkwardly aware of the pricing. You eventually settled on a quesadilla and a beer. Once the waitress walked away after taking your order, it’d fallen silent between the two of you.

You took a swig of your beer, the bitter taste a welcoming sensation. You weren’t sure what to talk about at the moment.

“How was school today?” he asked you.

You blinked. “Oh, uh…same old, I guess. Boring and a lot of information to unpack,” You sighed. “How was your day?”

“Uh…borin’, same as yours. Spent a lot of it inside.” He said, clearing his throat.

“As part of your job?” you asked curiously.

He gave a slight shrug. “Eh...not really. I work durin’ the night actually.”

“So you’re not working tonight.” You said as a statement.

“I asked off just for this,” he said, giving you a small smile. “Can’t say my boss was very happy with me, but he’ll get over it.”

You smiled as well, feeling once again shy underneath his gaze. You took another swig of your beer. “So…now that we’re actually here, what is it that you do exactly? I know you’re definitely not an outlaw.”

He chuckled, leaning back in the seat. “Let’s just say my job requires me to travel.”

You tilted your head, curious as to why he was reluctant to share details. “Where have you gone in your travels?”

“Everywhere, feels like it anyway,” he let out a slight sigh. “All around the states, different countries.”

“That’s pretty cool. I’m kinda jealous actually,” you mused. “Never been outside of America.”

Arthur shook his head. “It gets tedious after a while, miss home n’ all. But it’s somethin’, keeps me busy and puts money in my pocket.”

You nodded in understanding. That’s what your job was right now. “I feel that, bartending isn’t the most glamorous of jobs but it’s something to get me by until I finish school.” You sighed.

“Brings you some interestin’ people, don’t it?” he said with a slight smirk. “Even if it’s just some ol’ fool who don’t drink no more.”

You snorted into a small laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”

It’d gone quiet between the two of you once again. You cradled your beer in your hands, thinking of other things to talk about. You’d noticed Arthur’s gaze seemed to have traveled elsewhere, watching as another couple entered the restaurant. An odd little quirk about him. Perhaps he just liked to people watch.

The waitress soon returned with a full plate of cheesy quesadillas, placing it in front of you. The steaming food appeared so delicious, the savory scent wafted into your nostrils. You took a deep breath, feeling your stomach growling with each passing second. “God, this looks so good.”

“Good choice, darlin’. If I could eat it, I would,” He commented. “Enjoy it.”

You looked up at him and smiled. “Thanks, Arthur.” And with that, you began to dig in. You’d had their quesadillas before, and each and every time was more delicious than the last. The conversation had died down a little while you ate, occasionally speaking up about something or another before turning back to your food. You’d learned he was 36 years old and had a love for horses. He also liked to draw in his spare time, which prompted you to ask him if he’d show you some of his work. He had a photo on his phone, a sketched out drawing of a woman staring out the window. Despite how rough the lines were, it was beautiful.

You were nearly finished with your food when he suddenly stood up.

“S’cuse me, Y/N. Be back in a few minutes.”

You nodded and reabsorbed back to your food, paying no attention to where he wandered off to, assuming he was just going to the bathroom.

However, you’d finished your food and he still hadn’t returned. Another five minutes had passed and still no sign of him. You craned your neck around, hoping to see his figure elsewhere in the bar. No such luck. You decided to wait a few minutes longer, though couldn’t wait as you became increasingly fidgety and worried over time. You stood up and headed toward the bathrooms. Of course you couldn’t go into the men’s room, so you awkwardly waited outside.

A man walked up and you asked him to check and see if Arthur was okay in there. He gave you a weird look, but shrugged and nodded, pushing the door open and heading inside. After a short moment, the man came back out.

“Sorry ma’am, your friend ain’t in there.”

A spike of anxiety shot through your heart. If he wasn’t in the bathroom, did he somehow leave without you seeing? You thanked the man and headed back to your booth in hopes that he made his way back to wherever he was, only to still find it empty.

Was he outside, maybe? Unless he decided to up and ditch you entirely. You shook your head. Arthur didn’t seem like the type to pull off something that immature, at least you hoped he wasn’t. You headed toward the door, hoping he was outside and smoking a cigarette or something. As you pushed the door open, the damp air greeted you like a heavy blanket. You didn’t see anyone in your immediate vision aside from a couple of people clear across the parking lot who were loading into their cars. Your eyes scanned the rest of the lot quickly, and your mind flooded in relief to see the motorcycle still in its spot.

But where was Arthur?

The relief did not last long as it was quickly overcome with concern. Did he get hurt somehow? Should you look for him just in case he was hurt? You couldn’t fathom any other reason why he’d disappear on you while still remaining in the vicinity. A myriad of different thoughts tornadoed through your head, and you shook it. Maybe he genuinely needed help.

You began to walk the perimeter of the restaurant, though it was becoming harder to see the further you ventured from the entrance. You were careful with your steps, and your ears strained for any sounds of struggle. Aside from the melody of nature’s nightly ballad around you, it was quiet.

A thump of somewhat close proximity made you jump, originating from the very back of the building. Through the chirping of the crickets, you detected a soft, low moan. Both curiosity and anxiety overcame the better of you as you headed toward the noise, the moaning growing steadily louder the closer you got.

You rounded the corner, and through the dim you immediately spotted two silhouettes rammed up against the wall. Or, at least one was. The other had the first pressed against it in an odd embrace. Your first thought was that it was some couple attempting to get freaky in public, until your eyes adjusted and you recognized the second silhouette as-

“Arthur?”

He immediately pulled back upon hearing your voice, a popping sound resonating from the other one. Alarm coursed through you. Was he kissing the other person?

“Arthur, what’re you doing?!” you demanded. “Are you making out with someone? Because if you are-”

A loud and disoriented moan cut you off, resonating from the figure on the wall. You squinted your eyes toward them, making their features out in the dim. It was man, couldn’t be much older than you. His face held a look of distant serenity, as if he were high. His mouth hung slightly open. The next thing you noticed were two dark streaks painted down his neck.

“Y/N.” Arthur’s voice rumbled. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Why?!” You exasperated. “So I wouldn’t see you making out with this guy?!”

“No!” he shot back, holding up his hands. “You just…you shouldn’t see this, you can’t.”

“I already just saw you mouth to mouth with this guy, Arthur.” You hissed.

He stepped closer to you slowly. “I ain’t makin’ out with him. Hell, I ain’t even into men. But you need to listen-“

“For what reason could you possibly have to-”

When he stepped even closer to you, his features became more prominent in the dark. Two identical streaks ran down his chin from his lips. You frowned in confusion.

“Look, ya need to relax.” He said calmly, reaching out to you with a hesitation as if you were a scared animal. He was close enough for the wisps of his breath to skim across your face, bringing forth the coppery scent of-

Blood.

Your eyes widened and you immediately stepped back. “What…” you choked out, unable to form any coherent words. You finally spluttered, “What have you done?!”

His hands dropped to his sides, his entire figure hunched over as if in defeat. He however kept his eyes on you. “Y/N-”

You didn’t wait for him to finish. Every instinct screamed at you to turn and run, and you did. You spun on your heel and launched forward, your muscles straining as you sprinted away.

Unfortunately, you didn’t make it further than a few steps.

Strong arms wrapped around you, pinning your body to his. You gasped and wriggled in his grip in any attempt to pull yourself free. He was not budging, and you dig that back of your heel into his shin. “Let me go!” You yowled, only uttering the first two words before a cold hand clamped across your mouth.

“Y/N, stop!” He hissed under his breath, completely unphased by your attempts of defense. When you didn’t listen and continued to fight him, he held you to him with a vice like grip. “You need to listen to me!”

Despite every effort you’d tried to escape, nothing seemed to make him budge. Your legs flailed uselessly against his body, and wiggling proved fruitless from how tight he held you. Every part of your brain told at you to keep trying, but you knew this struggle wouldn’t end with you winning. He was too strong and you were no match for him. You reluctantly sighed in defeat and halted your struggling.

“Fine.” You grumbled. As soon as you’d submitted, his grip on you loosened.

He placed you carefully back on your feet, a notion you weren’t expecting. It’s caught you off guard given the circumstances. His hand lingered briefly on your arm before removing it. His head tilted down, hiding his eyes while he stared at the ground.

“I ain’t sure how to say this, Y/N.” he mumbled to you, the tone in his voice absolutely hesitant and resigned. He wiped the blood from his chin. “Never did want ya to find out, least not this way.”

“Find out what exactly, Arthur?” you asked him as your voice wavered.

His head shot straight up, his blue eyes staring right into you with burning intensity. “I’m…” he took a deep breath. “I’m a vampire.”

[misssophiachase]

Klaroline AU Week - Day 3: Crossovers/Fusions

He’s the new hotshot recruit at the U.S. Navy Fighter Weapons School and unbeknown to him, she’s his new instructor (you know how this goes).  Lines from the movie in italics (because I’m no aeroplane expert).  

Take My Breath Away

Sunday 20:45: Raised By Wolves Cocktail Bar, San Diego, CA

“I start my new job tomorrow, Kat,” she insisted. “I should be home in bed preparing.”

“You do that every night, roomie,” she shot back by way of response. “And drinking wine and watching the Notebook for the millionth time doesn’t count as an activity.”

Caroline was an Astrophysicist and had been working in DC for the past ten years. She’d recently moved cross country to take a contract position at the  Miramar Naval Air Station in San Diego and had reunited with her best friend Katherine who was a Professor at the University of California in La Jolla.  

It made sense for them to move in together, but Caroline was realising that Katherine was one of the nosiest roommates ever. 

“This is a completely new role for me,” she argued. “I need to be on my game, these officers are some of the best in the Navy, Kat. They don’t call it Top Gun for nothing.”

“I’m jealous that you get to work with gorgeous men in uniform and I have to lecture children.”

“I never understood that. What is it with everyone’s obsession with men in uniform?”

“Well, maybe you just haven’t seen one in the flesh yet?” His crisp but attractive English accent wasn’t enough to stop the rolling of her eyes. 

“And I suppose you’re going to remedy that situation,” she drawled, turning in her chair and meeting his dark blue eyes for the first time. 

She wanted to deny it but she couldn’t. This guy was hot, with or without the white, naval uniform.  Sexy stubble, sinful, crimson lips and dirty, blonde hair that curled teasingly over his ears was only the beginning, he had a pair of rogue dimples that she swore had superpowers they were that disarming. 

“Alright, love?” Caroline felt Katherine nudge her subtly in the ribs. She needed to retain what composure she still had. 

“I think you got the wrong location, the fancy dress party is on campus,” Caroline teased.  

“Cute,” he shot back, licking his lips teasingly. She should have been repelled but this guy had the opposite effect and Caroline knew it had nothing to do with the uniform. 

“I need to apologise for my friend,” a fellow officer, also in head-to-toe white offered. “He can’t help himself, he was dropped on his head as a baby.” 

“Oh, I know what this is,” Kat realised. “This is your little, two-man act to try and pick up poor, unsuspecting patrons.”

“Gee, tough crowd,” he murmured in his friend’s ear, although they could still hear him. Officer Number One’s gaze hadn’t wavered, it was still firmly trained on Caroline. 

“I’m Lieutenant Klaus Mikaelson, this is Enzo St John,” he offered by way of introduction, his eyes slipping lower and perusing the low-cut, black top Katherine insisted she wear. Caroline could feel an unmistakable blush forming in that region and hoped he wouldn’t notice. He was an arrogant ass for sure but her body obviously didn’t care about that. 

“Lieutenant?” She asked, wondering if this cocky guy was one of her students because if so this was going to be really awkward come morning. 

“We’re Naval Aviators,” he said it slow like she couldn’t understand the concept. “At Top Gun.”

“Impressive,” Katherine cooed, her voice laced with sarcasm, not that Officer Number Two noticed. 

“I go by Lucifer though,” he shared, they both looked at Enzo curiously. 

“Did your mother not like you?” Kat asked, mouth agape. Unlike her friend she hadn’t been around the Naval culture Caroline had.  

“It’s his call sign, like a nickname,” Klaus explained, again slowly. Caroline had to stop herself from telling him where he could shove his mansplaining.   

“My surname is Saint, get it?” The girls just looked at each other thinking that was just weird logic. 

“And what is your, call sign is it?” Caroline bluffed. 

“The Original,” he smirked, knowingly, tipping his hat in her direction. 

“The Original what?” She asked, unable to help herself.  

“Well, how about we get to know each other and I’ll tell you all about it, love.” 

“Wow,” she muttered, Caroline was surprised there was any oxygen left in the bar his ego was that inflated. “Unfortunately, I’m going to have to pass. In fact, we were just leaving, right Kat?”

She picked up her purse and grabbed Katherine’s hand. She might have wanted to be there but Caroline had no interest in staying any longer.

Monday 05:45: “The Strand” Pacific Beach, San Diego, CA

“Tully! Tully, come back here, girl!” He heard a melodic voice before he saw her. 

Running along Pacific Beach was his rare downtime these days. Flight school was intense, not that Klaus minded. He was a fighter pilot first and foremost and he was living his dream.

He liked to think he was confident, most people considered him arrogant but Klaus could practically fly in his sleep it was that deeply ingrained in his life, so too the Navy. 

The first time he’d faltered since arriving was the previous night. Klaus considered himself good with women but his performance at the bar was woeful. If he wasn’t aware, Enzo had been reminding him ever since. He’d never had a woman literally leave a place because she didn’t want to talk to him.  

Klaus knew he’d acted stupid, peddling those tired lines but he had a habit of doing that when he liked someone. And he liked this girl, that much was clear given he’d been thinking about her ever since. Not that he’d probably ever see her again.

The golden retriever bounded over to him, rubbing against his bare legs and almost tripping him in the process. Klaus stopped to lean down and give her a pat. “Hey, girl.” 

He looked up into the familiar, blue eyes of the woman from last night. Dressed casually in form-fitting jeans and a white t-shirt, those blonde waves hanging loose over her shoulders, Klaus didn’t think she could look any better than the previous night but he was wrong. 

“Lose something?” He asked, noting just how adorable she looked flustered, her creamy cheeks tinged pink from the exercise.  

“You again?” she asked, obviously only just realising who he was. “I didn’t recognise you without your costume.”

“There’s that sarcastic wit I’ve missed,” he chuckled. “I take it this is a friend of yours.” Caroline eyed the dog in frustration as she rubbed up against him lovingly.

“Traitor,” she muttered. “Tully is my friend’s dog and as I’ve discovered this morning has a mind of her own and enjoys flirting with strange men.”

“I’m not a stranger,” he drawled. “You know my name but I never caught yours, love.”

“That’s not my name,” she shot back. Klaus felt his muscles going cold so started stretching on the spot, his shorts riding up even higher. He could see her checking him out like she had last night. He still had it. 

“Well, if you told me then I wouldn’t have to call you that,” he grinned. 

“I better get going, don’t want to be late,” she replied, hooking the leash to Tully’s collar. 

“Late for what? Or is that just another excuse to get away from me?”

“I start a new job today, I need to be on time.”

“Well good luck, love,” he offered. She didn’t bother to argue about his endearment and just shook her head. Everything in Klaus wanted to ask her out again but knew it would probably be pointless. 

Monday 09:45: Miramar Naval Air Station, San Diego, CA

“Civilian specialists are here because they are our very best source on enemy aircraft. One of our very best is Caroline Forbes. She has a PHD in astrophysics and is a civilian contractor so you do not salute her. But you better listen to her because the Pentagon listens to her.”

“Good morning,” she greeted them. Klaus was seated in the front row with Enzo not quite believing what he was seeing.

Turns out her new job just happened to be him. He was torn over whether it was a good development or a bad one. Hooking up with your boss was obviously frowned upon but at least this way he knew where to find her. 

The way she looked in that fitted, black, skirt suit with her wavy hair pulled back into a bun at the nape of her creamy neck was messing with his composure and looking around the room he could see his fellow students thought the same thing.

A ripple of jealousy came over him and Klaus didn’t like it one bit. 

Somehow he’d managed to lose track of what she was saying, something about F5 and MIG 28 Aircraft but he’d been too busy to really take much notice. 

“However, the MIG 28 does have a problem with its inverted flight tanks. It won’t do a negative G pushover,” she explained. 

Enzo nudged Klaus. Only a few weeks ago they’d seen a MIG 28 do exactly that during a training exercise which had attracted enemy aircraft and nearly killed them for their trouble. They continued to discuss it between them.

“The latest intelligence tells us the most it will do is one negative..” she paused mid sentence.”Excuse me, Lieutenant, is there something wrong?”

“Yes ma’am, the data on the MIG is inaccurate,” Klaus replied, noting her adorable but puzzled look. 

“How’s that, Lieutenant?”

“Well, I just happened to see a MIG 28 do a...”

“We,” Enzo interrupted. 

“Uh, sorry, Lucifer. ‘We’ happened to see a MIG 28 do a 4g negative dive.” 

She cocked her left eyebrow, almost like she was trying to work out whether he was telling the truth or just messing with her. 

“Where did you see this?”

“Uh, that's classified.”

 “It's what?”

 “It's classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.” 

He sent her his very best smirk and given her less than impressed expression, Klaus knew he was going to have to do a lot more work to win her over. 

But he was more than willing to try. 

10:45

“Ma’am? Excuse me!” He called out. She continued walking towards her car, choosing to ignore him not interested in a discussion right now, it was already extremely awkward enough. “Caroline!”

She finally turned, realising he was going to continue to make a scene until she acknowledged him. Of course she’d expected him but what transpired after she hadn’t. Caroline was trying to work out if it was all arrogant bluster or something entirely different. 

“Yes, Lieutenant?” She answered officially, trying to ignore just how good his khaki uniform brought out his Californian tan. He came closer, and even though he wore Aviators she could tell his eyes were trained on her with that same intensity she remembered from the previous night. 

“You tricked me.”

“I did no such thing.”

“You knew I was at Top Gun, you knew I was your student but yet you didn’t feel the need to tell me, why is that exactly?”

“I felt that it was inappropriate to disclose my identity at that time.”

“But yet it’s okay to just show up in class like that? What if I’d said something in front of everyone.”

“I knew you wouldn’t,” she murmured. “You want to be here just as much as I do because we love what we do and this, whatever this is, doesn’t factor into that.”

“This? You rejected me last time I checked,” he replied. “Twice.”

“Is that why you did that before in class? Was it some form of petty payback?”

“It wasn’t petty,” she gave him a look which clearly said she didn’t believe him. “Okay maybe a little bit petty but it did actually happen, Enzo has this great polaroid you’d love.”

“But apparently it’s classified though right?”

“How about we go out for a drink and I’ll tell you the redacted version?”

“I am not going out with you, I don’t know how many times I have to say it.”

“Why not?”

“I’m your teacher, you’re my student. This can’t happen because it is all kinds of wrong, Lieutenant .”

“I don’t like to take no for an answer and, just so you know, I don’t give up easily, love.”

“Is that so?” He sent her his best smile and finally removed his sunglasses, those blue eyes roaming over her body before eventually landing on her face. Caroline was trying to pretend he had no effect on her whatsoever but she could feel her resolve fading fast. 

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow, ma’am.” He walked away, the spicy scent of his aftershave hovering in his wake. 

Caroline had no idea what she’d gotten herself into but at the same time it excited her too. It had nothing to do with men in uniform, just one man in particular. 

[kumeko]

A/N: For the @todokamizine. I both hate and like this piece. Ahahaha.

Summary: Denki hadn’t expected to get a ride to work from a hot stranger. Then again, he didn’t expect the snowstorm or his car breaking down either. Hopefully, his luck was turning for the better.

…

…

…

…

There were few things that were as soul-crushing as the colour white. To be precise, as seeing the entire neighbourhood blanketed in the colour white. Denki had expected snow; almost everyone had texted him complaining about the winter storm on its way and the shovelling they’d have to do. He had expected it and yet, somehow, the sight of it still surprised him.

 It was just so much. The roads, the houses, and more importantly, his car was just buried in snow. Maybe on the weekend, it’d be fine, but today was Monday. He was already late enough as it was without having to stop and clean his car.

 “Fuck,” he swore as he took a deep breath. The cold cut into his lungs and this was going to be one those days. He just knew it. Mondays were the worst. Donning his gloves and hat, he reluctantly pushed open the lobby door and stepped out into ankle-deep snow. A little bit spilled into his boot, sending an ice-cold chill up his spine.

That was okay. He could do it. He just had to make it to his car, which was like three lots further down that it should have been because Bakugou was a bastard who stole other people’s parking spots. Denki glared at his neighbour’s window. Tonight, he was totally going to sick Kirishima on him.  

 Buoying himself with that thought, he marched toward his car, ignoring the bone-chilling winds and ice water in his boots. Maybe Kirishima would cook, and that thought fueled at least twenty minutes of distracting images of food as he brushed the snow off his car.

 Before he left, he tossed a pile of snow at Bakugou’s car. The bastard had it coming.

 -x-

 Denki squinted at the roads over his steering wheel. Traffic was at a crawl and he wasn’t sure if he was in a lane anymore. The cars in front of him were misaligned from one another, like two lines that were trying and failing to merge into one. As long as he didn’t slide off the road, he could manage. At least, considering how bad the weather was, his boss had to be late too. Hell, maybe he could get to work earlier than his boss and ask him What took you so long and—

 He wasn’t moving. Cars trudged forward around him, merging back into the single lane ahead of him, and he wasn’t moving.

 Fuck.

 “Oh no no no,” he muttered, pressing the gas as hard as he could. The car still didn’t move. He was trapped. Stuck. Panicking, he watched as everyone ignored him, heading straight to work. No one was going to help him and he was going to die and—no, he could do this. Hatsume, his mechanic, had prepared him for a situation just like this. What was the first thing she’d said again? She said to check the engine. Denki stared at the dashboard. The lights were on. Good. He pressed his foot on the gas and the engine rumbled as the car strained to go forward. Also good; his engine was fine.

 Actually, no, this was terrible. Denki grimaced as he realized just what that meant. His tires were stuck. His tires were stuck in snow that was piled higher than his ankles in subzero temperatures. Well, there went his dream of getting to work today. Or anywhere at all.

 Opening the door a crack, Denki flinched as a stream of cold air entered the car. Quickly, he slammed the door shut. Shit, that was cold. Maybe he could just call a tow truck. Pulling out his cell, Denki impatiently tapped on the screen to no avail. The battery had died. Of course it’d died. Today was Monday.

 Nothing ever went right on Mondays.

 Steeling himself, Denki opened the door once more and forced himself out. Snow spilled into his boot again, causing a chill to run up his spine. Resisting the urge to jump back into the car, he trudged to the back and checked the back wheel. A pile of dirty, mushy snow had gathered, stopping the car from moving any further.

 Maybe if he pushed it—Denki laughed at the idea. With his scrawny arms? Impossible. The car would just roll back and hit him. No, he’d just have to rely on strangers. Waving at the incoming traffic, he gestured at the wheels. “I’m stuck! Help!”

 No one stopped.

 Okay. Maybe they couldn’t hear him. Clearing his throat, he yelled louder. “HEY. I’M STUCK. I’M GOING TO DIE. HELP.”

 Still no one stopped. Fine, that was fine. Denki knew just what to do in situations like this. It was time to pull a page from Bakugou’s book. As the next car passed by, he jumped in front of it. “STOP DAMNIT!”

 Which might not have been the best thing to do, but traffic was slow as it was. The car struggled to stop, skidding through the snow as the driver tried to avoid hitting him. It stopped just centimeters from his legs. Through the windshield, he could see a driver staring at him with wide eyes, just as surprised as he was.

 “Oh, god, it worked. It worked.” His shoulders relaxed and now that he was paying attention, his heart was going a mile a minute. That had been scary. Pressing his hands on the hood of the stranger’s car, he bent over and took a deep breath, releasing his tension.

 He’d stopped a car. He was going to get help. It would be fine.

 “What the hell was that?”

 Well, it would probably be fine as long as this guy didn’t stab him out of anger. Standing up shakily, Denki smiled shakily. “Car troubles?”

 The other man stared at him, speechless. In the pale light of the morning, Denki stared at the guy’s hair, a half-red, half-white combination. Did the guy grow too old on one side? Was it a fashion statement? He wasn’t sure only that it looked really good on him. Maybe it was to distract from the burn mark that covered half his face. There was a pun to be made, about how hot he looked, but that would probably be insensitive.

 Cars honked, angry that now half the road was blocked, and Denki remembered why they were here. Right. Clearing his throat, he gestured at his car, “I’m stuck.”

 “I can see that,” the other guy replied dryly, and damn, his voice.

 No, this wasn’t the time to get distracted. “Help?” Denki pleaded, clasping his hands together.

 The man stared at him for a long moment. He then glanced at the road ahead and at the snow at his feet. With a resigned sigh, he ran a gloved hand through his hair and nodded. “Alright, I guess. It’s not like I was going to get there on time anyways.”

 “Oh, thank you thank you thank you!” Denki resisted the urge to just hug the guy. He was saved! He was rescued!

 “So, it’s just that your car’s stuck?” the guy asked, stepping closer to inspect the car.

 “Yeah, the engine’s fine and everything. The back wheels are…buried.” Standing by right back wheel, he crouched and pointed pitifully at the pile of snow around the wheels. It looked even worse than it had before.

 The man crouched beside him and now that he was closer, Denki could pick out a musky cologne. “Well…we could try pushing it out.”

 “Pushing it out?” Distracted, he watched as the stranger went to the trunk, resting both hands on the car. His thick jacket didn’t indicate much of his physique. Maybe the guy was jacked. He certainly acted like he was.

 “Yeah.” He stared at Denki expectantly. When he didn’t move, the guy sighed. “The steering wheel?”

 “Right!” Denki flushed a dark red as he hurried to the driver’s seat. Turning the car back on, he slowly pressed down on the gas. There was a small jolt as the stranger pushed and for a brief second, he though the car would move.

 Then a snowman knocked on his door. Before Denki could scream, the snowman wiped his face revealing a now really grumpy hot guy. Gingerly, he rolled down the window. “It didn’t work?”

 The glare the guy gave him could have melted ice.

 -x-

 Half an hour of struggling to move the car didn’t do much for traffic. It was still slow as hell, but now Denki was finally moving with it.

 Though, not in the way he’d expected. He glanced over to the driver, the stranger he’d more or less forced into this situation. Now that they were sitting in a cozy car, the guy had unzipped his jacket a little, revealing the top of a suit. A businessman, then. Resisting the urge to ogle, Denki smiled nervously. “It’s, uh, so nice and warm here.”

 “We’re in a car,” was the deadpan response.

 He wanted to bash his head against a wall for the stupidity of his comment. For once, he couldn’t even blame his job for this. “Yeah. Uh…Oh! I’m Denki Kaminari.” He almost held out his hand to shake before remembering they were in a car.

 The other man stared at the road, his brow furrowing, before he finally replied, “Shouto Todoroki.”

 A name. That was a good start. “Thanks for helping out and giving me a ride and, well, everything.” Denki sighed, remembering the call to the tow-truck. “I can’t believe it’s going to take an hour for them to get here.”

 “Considering the weather, that’s pretty fast,” Shouto disagreed shortly.

 “Oh. Right.” Was he going to say anything right? “Still, thanks.”

 “Couldn’t let you freeze out there.” Shouto shrugged. Taking a hand off the wheel, he pulled out his phone and handed it to Denki. “Do you need to call anyone else? Your office?”

 “I didn’t want them to know I’m late, but this is a great excuse, right? Man, though, they’re going to give me so much shit for not charging my phone.” He was rambling. Denki was aware of it and yet his mouth refused to stop. It was the curse of the passenger seat: he had to say something, anything to keep the silence at bay. “I’m an electrician, so the jokes kinda write themselves.”

 “An electrician?” Shouto’s brow furrowed even more and for a moment, Denki wondered if he’d said something wrong. Did this guy have a vendetta against electricians?

 What if he was an axe-murderer or something? He’d seen movies about hitchhikers getting murdered in the woods. With all this snow, his body wouldn’t be found till spring. “You’re not going to kill me, are you?”

 “What?” Shouto stared at him, perplexed.

 “Nevermind.”

 Giving him one last confused look, Shouto shook his head and chuckled. “No, it’s just…you’re an electrician.” He laughed a little louder, his shoulders shaking and a smile growing on his face. “And your name is Denki Kaminari.”

 Well, damn. If he looked hot stoic, Shouto looked even better when he smiled. “I get that a lot,” Denki managed to reply.

 “Sorry, I shouldn’t laugh.” Shouto swallowed back his laughter, but he looked a lot more relaxed now. Denki couldn’t tear his eyes away, it was like watching the beast transform into a prince. “It’s just…”

 “My friends said the same thing.” Denki grinned, rubbing his neck as he remembered his best friend’s face. “And my parents were just—well, they didn’t really get to talk since they named me.”

 “It’s really on the nose,” Shouto agreed. “Not that my name is much better.” He gestured at his hair. “This is actually natural.”

 “Really?” Leaning to his side, Denki stared at Shouto’s strange half-and-half hair. “How?”

 “A strange mutation.” Shouto shrugged. “Half my mom and…half my dad.” The last word he almost spit out, his expression darkening.

 Clearly there was some bad blood there too. Trying to lighten the mood, Denki forced a laugh. “I guess we have really literal parents! Don’t tell me you’re a fireman, that would be too much.”

 Shouto blinked before breaking into a smile again. “No, that would be too much. I’m a lawyer. It’s my first day, actually.”

 “A lawyer?” Denki rubbed his forehead, remembering just how he’d jumped in front of the car. That wasn’t legal. There was definitely some law he broke. “You, uh, won’t sue me for this?”

 “No, don’t worry about it.” Shouto laughed again and Denki felt an irrational surge of pride. He was getting good at pulling laughter out of him. “I’m only after actual criminals.”

 It’d be better not to mention the stockpile of speeding and parking tickets he had, then. He glanced at Shouto. They looked like they were about the same age. “Your first day, huh. That’s gotta be fun.”

 Shouto’s expression darkened again and he bit his lip. “I suppose,” he answered, sounding almost as frigid as his name.

 “Or not.” Denki backpedaled as fast as he could. Wow, today was a great day for putting his foot in his mouth. Mondays. “First days suck, they’re the absolute worst. You have so much paperwork and it’s boring.” Was that a hint of a smile he spotted? Motivated, he rattled on, “Jobs suck too but not as much as first days. Or Monday’s.”

 Shouto glanced at him, quirking his brow. “Hate your job that much?”

 “Well…” Denki shrugged. “It’s not bad, I like everyone there, but.” He paused, mulling it over. “I’d just rather be home, playing video games.” Realizing he’d said more than he’d meant to, he covered his mouth. “I mean I…” What was a sophisticated hobby? “I play pool.”

 Judging by how Shouto’s cheeks puffed with barely suppressed laughter, pool wasn’t half as cool as he thought it’d be. Sighing, Denki slumped against the door, staring morosely through the window. “I’m sorry, I’ve been told I ramble.”

 “Don’t be.” Shouto looked cheerful as he turned the steering wheel. “I’ve been told I don’t talk enough.”

 “No, really?” Denki couldn’t stop the sarcasm and he covered his mouth with a hand before anymore escaped.

 Somehow, Shouto didn’t look the least put out. As the car slid to a stop, he merely nodded. “Yeah.”

 Maybe he didn’t get sarcasm. Denki didn’t know if he should correct Shouto or just let him continue down this tragic path.

 “To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to work.” Shouto turned toward him now and Denki got the full brunt of his stare, the bright blue eyes boring into his. His expression looked tranquil now, nothing at all like the stoic man who stopped his car. “But…I don’t know. I feel better about it now. Thanks.”

 Denki flushed a bright red. His skin only burned hotter as Shouto reached forward and shook his hand. “I-I didn’t do anything.”

 Shouto shook his head. “No, you did. Thanks.”

 For a long moment, they sat there in silence, staring at one another. Denki didn’t know what he wanted to do next but a not-so small part of him wanted to lean forward and kiss the man. Which was stupid, he’d known this stranger for like thirty minutes. Sure, he was hot, but come on. As much as his friends teased him for being a disaster, in more than just the bi way, he wasn’t so far gone that he’d get attracted to someone that quickly.

 Dimly, he was aware that Shouto was looking at him expectantly. Did he feel something too? Want something too? Denki was about to say something when he realized where they were: a parking lot at Starbucks.

 “OH!” No wonder the guy was staring at him. This was the part where he was supposed to get out. Scrambling to pull on his hat and gloves, Denki tried to keep his voice even as he thanked Shouto. “Didn’t realize we were here—thanks for the ride.”

 “It’s nothing. You’re the one who stopped me.” Shouto’s eyes shone with withheld mirth and Denki wanted to pull the laughter out of him one last time. “Literally.”

 “You did say you wouldn’t sue me for that,” Denki replied playfully. “Guess I got lucky you weren’t cop.”

 Shouto pursed his lips and for a brief second, Denki wondered if he’d said something wrong again. Just as quickly, Shouto pulled out of whatever dark thought he had, his lips twitching as he tried not to smile. “My dad is one.”

 “Seriously?” He paled. What sort of cursed luck was that? “You, uh, aren’t going to get me arrested, are you? I swear I’ll pay my tickets. All of them.”

 “He’s not in traffic either.” Shouto laughed and Denki watched, mesmerized. “You’re safe, though you should probably pay those tickets.”

 “Yeah.” Denki reached into his pocket, scrounging around for one of his business cards. His fingers hit a hard edge and impulsively, he pulled it out and pressed the card into Shouto’s hand. “A-anyways, if you need anything, just let me know. I owe you one.”

 Without waiting for a response, he burst out the door and ran into the Starbucks. Okay, so maybe he was just that level of bi-disaster. Making a beeline to the closest power outlet, he pulled out his phone charger from his work bag.

 Maybe, if he was lucky, he’d find a text when his phone turned on.

 Maybe Mondays weren’t so bad after all.

[ladymercytaylor]

All In - Chapter 6 (Joe Mazzello x Reader)

A/N: HELLO! And we’re back again with part 6 of All In! This one isn’t as thicc as the last one but honey we getting to the angsty part now! also shout out to everyone that left comments on my last chapter - you honestly have no idea how happy it makes me to see you engaging with my writing <3 <3 (also i obvs don’t own the line break image. thanks google)

Looking for the last chapter? Find it HERE!

Chapter 6 – 11 weeks

At 11 weeks pregnant, the end of your first trimester was finally in sight and you’d never been so excited. So many of the books you’d read told you that in a lot of pregnancies the morning sickness would ease after the third month. It was the one thing that you’d held onto through every trip to the bathroom – every interrupted night’s sleep – you’d held onto the faith that it would be over soon. The other 2 trimesters would be easier and then you’d get the ultimate reward; your little Nugget in your arms. You’d felt fine when you woke that morning, so fine in fact that you’d even managed to keep your breakfast down as you got ready. Encouraged by your small victory you’d left the apartment with a smug smile on your face and a spring in your step. And you were practically jumping for joy when you hurried up the concrete steps of the subway after managing to stay on the same train for the whole trip (instead of having to change 3 times to throw up which had become your new routine).  It must be going now. It had to be.

“Hello, Nadia” you grinned as you stepped into the change room of your practice. The younger girl smiled at you as she pulled her purple scrubs over her thick curly hair. “Hey, boss” she laughed, tying the drawstring of her uniform. “Have a good weekend?” “Yeah, it wasn’t bad” you murmured, pulling your freshly laundered clothes out of your locker. “Went to a cute brunch place in Greenwich Village with my roommate Saturday morning then dinner and a movie with a friend” “That sounds like a date” Nadia sang teasingly, pulling her hair up into a puffy ponytail. You rolled your eyes at her antics, swapping your floral dress for the plain blue top. Your dating life was one of her favourite topics of interest (despite the numerous times you assured her that it was non-existent at best). “Definitely not a date, Nadia. Not everyone’s social life is as colourful as yours” you joked and her dark brown eyes lit up with excitement. “Oh my god I have to tell you the craziest story” she chirped to your back as you pulled on the bottom half of your uniform at sat down to tie you shoelaces. “So, you remember my friend I told you about, Salma, yeah?” all it took was one nod from you for her to launch into the dirty details of her weekend. You were always slightly nervous when you got a new mentee but after only an hour with Nadia your fears had been put to rest. And nothing made your Mondays more interesting than hearing about the antics of her and her slightly messy friends. 

She continued to tell you all about her weekend as the two of you walked into your examination room, her hands flying in front of her as she illustrated the exact route she and her friends had run through Central Park at 4am to get to some exclusive rave before the doors closed.  “Alright, do you want to read the appointment notes for our first case and tell me how we should set everything up?” you asked, settling down on your stool. Nadia grinned at you before turning to the glowing computer screen. “Well it’s just a routine cleaning so we’d need…” her voice faded away as a cold sweat brought out across your brow. Your stomach lurched and you shot up from your stool sending it skittering across the floor.  “Set everything up and I’ll see how you’ve done when I get back from the bathroom” You couldn’t wait for her response, dashing from the room as your insides clenched again. Stumbling down the white corridor you managed to throw yourself into the bathroom as your breakfast reappeared, only just managing to get yourself over the porcelain bowl.  A dejected sigh fell from your lips as you sat back on your heels, the water swirling down the drain. The best morning you’d had in the last 11 weeks and now it was ruined. Luck seemed to have been on your side and you’d avoided being ill at work but it seemed that Nugget didn’t care at all that the sickness should be easing by now. You should have known. With a father like Joe there was no way your baby wasn’t going to be a troublemaker. You startled as you exited the bathroom. Sam, the practice manager, was leaning up against the opposite wall, calm concern on his slightly lined face.  “Hi, Sam” you chirped, attempting to appear casual but his expression didn’t waver.  “Y/N” he started gently and you felt your stomach drop. “I’m going to say this as a friend, is there anything you want to tell me?”  A soft sigh escaped your lips and irritated tears welled in your eyes. You’d been hoping to keep it to yourself for a little while longer, but your cover seemed to have been blown.  “I’ve got a free slot after I finish up with Mrs Summers, could I stop by your office?” you asked meekly, toeing at the stiff grey carpet.  “I think that’s a very good idea” he smiled warmly. Sam patted your shoulder gently and headed back to his office. A distinctly different kind of nausea settled in your stomach as you walked back into the exam room.

45 minutes later your heart was hammering against your ribs as you knocked on the office door. “Come in” came a muffled voice from behind the wood. You look a steadying breath before turning the silver handle and stepping inside. Sam was waiting for you, a steaming mug of coffee next to his mouse along with a half-eaten biscuit. He grinned as you entered, immediately gesturing for you to take the seat on the other side of his desk. “So, anything in particular you want to chat about?” he chuckled jovially, acutely aware of the pinched expression on your face. “Lovely weather we’re having today” you hummed, looking over the top of his head at the brightly lit New York street outside his window. “Y/N” he murmured warningly and you huffed a sigh, your teeth worrying at your lip.   “I’m pregnant” “Congratulations” he smiled but you couldn’t return it. “How long have you known?” you asked, picking up a stray pen from his desk. “A couple of weeks. When I realised you’d switched to decaf and were wearing the scrubs a size up from your usual” he shrugged, leaning back in his office chair. The back squealed loudly in the silent office. “You know it’s not a problem, right?” Sam murmured, concern in his pale blue eyes. “Everything in your contract still stands. Paid leave for 3 months and we’ll hold your job for a year” he reminded you gently. “That isn’t why I kept it quiet” you admitted, spinning the plastic biro distractedly across the wooden surface. Sam waited patiently, concern knitting his grey eyebrows. “It’s all just such a mess” you sighed after a few moments, still staring resolutely at the desk. “And work was the one place I didn’t have to think about it. Until this morning” “A surprise was it?” Sam asked softly, leaning forward on his forearms. Nodding softly you continued to spin the pen in front of you. “My first was a surprise” the affection that always warmed his voice when he spoke of his children coloured his words as he turned his eyes to the framed photos resting below his computer monitor. His wife and 2 daughters smiled back up at him through the glass and you felt your heart squeeze as a tender smile twisted his lips. “Yeah but at least you and Lara were actually dating” you muttered dejectedly. A tense beat passed between you. “Ah. Is there any chance that I know who the father is?” a small nod was all he needed. “I can see why you’re calling it a mess” he admitted, running a hand through his greying hair. “But if I can say one thing?” you nodded your permission, abandoning the biro under your fingers. “You couldn’t have picked a better guy”

Joe’s heart was hammering in his chest as he stared at his phone screen. 2 weeks was too long to put this off. He knew he should have called the day of the ultrasound, but the nagging fear of his mother’s reaction had kept him pushing it out of his mind. But now that the milestone 1st trimester was drawing to a close he knew there would be hell to pay if he left it any longer.  With trembling hands he pressed her icon before bringing the phone to his ear.  “Don’t pick up. Don’t pick up” he whispered to himself, his leg bouncing against the sofa cushions. His desperate prayers were not met however, as the ringing abruptly stopped, the gentle voice of his mother replacing it.  “Hello, stranger. I was starting to think you’d forgotten about me” Virginia laughed softly. Joe chuckled along but his guts twisted with guilt.  “Sorry about that mum. Just had a lot on my mind the last few months” he murmured, dragging his fingers along a red stain in his track pants. Sadness settled over him as he remembered how that mark had come to be. It was one of his favourite memories with you – a rather misguided attempt to recreate his grandmother’s meatballs that had ended with an absolutely ruined dinner and sauce all over the two of you.  “Anything you want to tell me?” she asked gently, pulling Joe out of his reverie.  “Yeah, there actually is” He should have known that his mum would figure it out. He was never able to hide anything from her. “You might want to sit down for this one” “Okay, I’m sitting” Virginia replied wearily after a moment of pause as she settled at the dining room table.  “You remember how I went to that wedding a couple of months back?” Joe started, the muscles in his jaw clenching.  “Sebastian’s? Yes, the photos were gorgeous” “Well, Y/N was there” his admission was met with stunned silence. It was the first time she’d heard Joe speak of you in a year. He had always been very tight lipped about the breakup – refusing to supply any details beyond ‘It just wasn’t working’. Virginia had loved you like a daughter, and she knew she should have held back her curiosity, but it burst forth before she could stop it.  “You never told me! How is she? Please tell me she’s well” she babbled and Joe felt the tips of his ears begin to burn.  “She’s good. Really good, actually. Now I’m just going to get this out of the way so sorry if it’s a bit blunt” Joe started, terrified that he’d lose his nerve if he so much as paused, “we slept together after the wedding and now she’s pregnant and we’re going to raise the baby together” he blurted out in one big breath, the only other sound he could hear was the rushing of his heart in his ears.  “Oh my” were the only words his mum could think of. She was expecting him to say he’d be leaving for another long project or even that he’d lost a job he was excited about. Never did she imagine that he’d be telling her that he was having a baby. With his ex-girlfriend. “Oh, Joseph Mazzello. What have you done?” she sighed heavily and Joe’s insides lurched uncomfortably.  “I didn’t mean to, mum” he murmured, suddenly feeling like a child that was being scolded for breaking something valuable. “It all just…happened. And it was her choice to keep the baby!” he added quickly, his foot bouncing even faster against the floorboards. “I was okay with whatever she wanted” “I’m sorry, love” Virginia whispered, running a hand through her hair, “I’m just surprised. I mean I’m not surprised that it’s Y/N. Better than a random one night stand I suppose” “Wow, great pep talk” Joe deadpanned, flopping back dramatically onto the couch cushions.  “Are you two getting back together?” his mother asked, ignoring his groan. His stomach dropped.  “No. Just…doing it together” Joe finished lamely, his cheeks blazing with embarrassment.  “Right” Virginia nodded, not pressing the issue. She could hear the disappointment colouring his words. She didn’t want to poke the wound any further so she let it slide. “I’m sorry, hun, but I’ve got to go. Meeting up with friends for lunch”  “Oh, okay” Joe stammered. “I guess I’ll let you go then”  The two said their goodbyes and Joe was just about to remove the phone from his ear when his mum piped up on the other end.  “Joe?”  “Yeah, mum?” “This isn’t a joke” she warned, scratching at a mark on the worn dining table, “This is a huge commitment”  “Why is everyone treating me like a goddamned child all of a sudden?” Joe spat out, anger shooting up his nerves like fire. “I’m 35 not some reckless teenager” “I didn’t mean it like that –” she sighed gently but Joe cut across her.  “No, mum. I know you mean well but I know exactly what I’m doing” he snapped before ending the call and tossing the phone onto the other side of the couch. The small device bounced off the charcoal cushions before clattering onto the polished floor but Joe didn’t care. Furious tears were welling up in his eyes as his mother’s words echoed in his head. He could do this. Why did everyone think he was so incapable? Did he have ‘chaotic mess’ tattooed on his face?  Still grumbling to himself he stormed upstairs and into his office, throwing himself into his desk chair and grabbing his laptop. He was going to show them. He was going to show them all.

The heat was sweltering as you stepped out of the building, radiating off the dark pavement in shimmering waves. It stuck to your skin as you walked towards the train station, sweat beading on your brow. As you stepped down into the dark station a gust of warm air swept across your face leaving you grimacing. Not fancying a stifling trip home you shrugged off the thin jumper that was covering your floral dress. Usually hiding your bump was your top priority but the heat clinging to you was insufferable. And besides, what was going to happen on a 15 minute train ride? Much to your surprise your train pulled up right as you stepped onto the platform with the hoard of commuters and you were immediately swept inside with the crowd – no one paying you or your bump a second glance. Your hand was slick against the metal pole of the train as you tried to keep yourself from swaying into your fellow commuters as the train jerked along the tracks. The carriage lurched to the right, sending you stumbling into the man next to you.   “So sorry” you apologised, your hand immediately moving to rest on the small swell of your stomach. “All good” he dismissed casually, his eyes not leaving the phone in his hand. Shrugging to yourself you looked away, only to lock eyes with the aged lady sitting in the seat opposite you. You watched as her watery eyes drifted down to where your left hand rested on your belly. Instead of the warm smile you’d been so used to on the occasion that someone noticed your pregnancy, her lined face twisted into a look of pure disgust. You startled, stumbling as the train veered on the tracks. She turned away, staring resolutely down the carriage. You turned away too, shocked tears scratching at the back of your eyes. The train continued to hurtle down the tunnel, the steel wheels clicking against the tracks but you didn’t hear it, your mind completely clouded with angry confusion. She didn’t know you. She had no idea what you were going through with this bloody pregnancy - spending hours upon hours every week with the man who broke your heart for the sake of your baby. What gave her the fucking right?

“I come bearing dinner!” Joe chirped as he pushed the door to your apartment open. The plastic takeaway bag swung violently on the crook of his arm as he kicked the door shut with a satisfying thud. “I also brought dessert, couldn’t help myself” he added with a laugh but it died as his eyes fell on you, slumped over on the couch with your face buried in your hands as gentle sobs shook your shoulders. “Are you alright?” he asked, abandoning the food on the kitchen counter before dashing to your side. “I’m fine, Joe” you whimpered, dabbing the sleeve of your jumper to your eyes. “Just hormones” “Bullshit” he dismissed, shuffling closer to you on the sofa. He hadn’t seen you cry once throughout this whole ordeal. Something had to be off. “Just leave it” the words came out harsher than you intended but that didn’t stop your ex-boyfriend. “No. Tell me what’s wrong” he demanded, his eyes not leaving your bloodshot eyes. You tried to keep it in. Tried to pretend that really, you were fine. But it was too much to hold at bay and you exploded. “It’s not fair!” you sobbed, furiously trying to wipe away the tears that were still pouring down your cheeks. “Everyone else gets the whole picture. The mum and the dad and the happy family shit. And I get judged by little old ladies on the subway” you blubbered angrily, bitter tears dripping onto your legs. “You should have seen the way she looked at me!” you shouted and Joe swallowed thickly. “Just because I don’t have a ring apparently I’m scum of the Earth” “I’m sure that’s not what she meant –”  Joe said in a vain attempt to calm you down. “How would you know?” you rounded on him, eyes flickering with rage. “Nothing’s different for you. It’s not like you walk around with ‘soon to be single dad’ stamped on your forehead” “I just never imagined I’d be doing this alone” you muttered, your eyes dropping to your worn ballet flats. “You’re not doing this alone” Joe reminded you gently, moving to place a reassuring hand on top of yours but you pulled it away. “It’s not the same Joe and you know it” you snapped, shoving off of the couch cushions to pace tensely across the living room. Joe watched apprehensively. He’d seen you get like this only a handful of times and it had never ended well. “This was all just such a huge mistake” “Don’t say that!” he implored, springing off the couch. “Don’t call Nugget a mistake” he begged, reaching out to grasp your shoulders. His heart clenched as you stepped out of his reach. “But they are! This shouldn’t have happened! I don’t know why I thought this might work” “Because we work!” he shouted back, angry red splotches blooming on his throat “we’re good together, Y/N” “If we we’re so fucking good together then why did you leave, Joe?” you spat back, the words like acid in your mouth. “Why’d you break up with me if we were so fucking great?” “God damn it, Y/N! Can’t you see that I made the biggest mistake leaving you? Every fucking day I wish I’d never done it and that you were still my girl” Joe shouted, the words flying passed his lips. The tension in the apartment was so thick you could almost see it shimmering in the still air, sizzling between you. “Don’t say that to me, Joe” you snarled through the tears, your eyes narrowing dangerously as your hands balled into fists.  “Why can’t I? It’s true!” he shouted, your dismissiveness aggravating him. Deep down he knew you wouldn’t listen, but he’d always held on to that sliver of hope and it was quickly slipping through his fingers. “I’m so sorry, sweets” he begged, desperation in his hazel eyes. “I lost the best thing in my life that day” “And I lost EVERYTHING!” you screamed back, the words you’d held inside for a year ripping at your throat. “For fucks sake Joe I loved your dad too!” you sobbed, your chest aching. A dead weight settled in Joe’s stomach as he watched you shatter in front of him. “And I lost him. And then on top of that I lost the love of my fucking life” “Sweets, I’m –” “And I lost your mum. Your brother. Your sister. Gwil. Lucy. Rami. Ben – everyone!” you cried, “and you honestly thought we could come back from that?” the scoff that left your mouth felt like a dagger through Joe’s heart. “We’re meant to be together, Y/N” he muttered through gritted teeth, his chest heaving with laboured breaths. “I know you don’t want to think about it but you know it’s true. If you could just -” “Joe” a firm voice interrupted. He turned to see Flick standing in doorway to her bedroom, clad in rumpled pyjamas with her arms folded over her chest. “You need to leave now” “But –” he tried to explain, desperately gesturing to you but she shook her head. Her brown eyes drifted to you, sobbing quietly into your hands. “No” she commanded, stepping into the living room. You immediately gravitated towards her and she wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling your shaking frame tightly into her side. “You’ve done enough” she whispered as you buried your face in the soft fabric of her shirt. You didn’t hear the slam of the front door as Joe left the apartment. Only the sound of your thundering heartbeat flooded your ears as you cried into her neck. “It’s okay” Flick soothed, running her hand comfortingly up and down your back. “You’re okay. It’s going to be alright” Despite her kind words you felt your heart splintering in your chest. A part of you had always wondered if he regretted that day, if he’d change things if he could. You’d always thought the unanswered questions were the hardest part of it. But somehow this was worse.

TAG TIME!!! - again if you want to be tagged just let me know in the replies or message me! @sunflower-borhap-boys @blushingwueen @briarrose26 @mrsmazzello @escabell@yourealegendroger @sincereleygmg @zvzxs @dramatique-moi @borhapqueen92 @manuosorioh @deakyjohns @rogwhoretaylor @dinkiplier Stay tuned for more next wednesday! 

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Tearing Down Sandcastles Part 10

Summary: Sofia feels stuck in life and has for the better part of two decades. Now she’s nearing her 30th birthday and her luck begins to change when a handsome actor accidentally destroys her niece’s sandcastle. 

Chapter Summary: New Year's Eve arrives and Sofia feels herself sinking back to her old habits when it comes to meeting Sebastian's friends.

Warnings: Anxiety, mild sexual themes

           I got a few offers for New Years Eve parties but I decided to wait and ask Sebastian first for his plans. I wanted to spend time with him more than anything.

           “Hey.” I smiled when I saw Sebastian waiting in the lobby of my building. I decided to spend my lunch break with him that Monday.

           He was holding a bag from my favorite nearby café. “They had your favorite soup and I got you desert.” He said after pecking my lips.

           “You’re the best.”

           It was too cold to eat outside and I wanted to get away from the office so we ate in the lobby.

           “How’s work?” Sebastian asked as he handed me a cup of the best tomato soup I’d ever had. He rifled through the bag to find the spoon.

           I sighed and rolled my eyes. “My boss is being an ass like usual,” I grumbled and popped the lid of the container. “But I can’t say anything because they’re downsizing and I’m afraid of losing my job.” I stared at the spoon in my hand, waiting for the soup to cool. “And I can’t lose this job.”

           Sebastian looked concerned. “Sofi…if you need help-”

           I was quick to cut him off. “I don’t take handouts, Sebastian, you know that.”

           “I know. But I’m not going to let you struggle either when you don’t have to.”

           There wasn’t much point arguing with him. I was never going to ask for money and he would never cede. So I decided to change the subject. “Were you planning on going to a party for New Years?” I asked.

           He seemed unwilling to talk about something else but dropped the previous conversation. “Yeah, a friend invited me. I was hoping we could go together. If you had other plans, we can do them instead.”

           “No, no, don’t worry about that. I want to meet your friends.” I smiled.

           “I can’t wait to introduce you to them.” He looked a bit shy. “They’re not going to believe I landed someone like you.”

           I laughed. “Really? You don’t think it’ll be the other way?”

           “Definitely not.” He shook his head, his eyes shining.

           My foot tapped against the low table in front of us. “I’m not great at parties,” I admitted.

           “Oh is that a trigger?” Sebastian looked concerned. “Because if it is we don’t have to go.”

           “No, no.” I waved my hand. “I try not to avoid things just because I’m anxious about them. If I did then I wouldn’t be able to live life.” I explained nervously. “It’s not easy but I’ve worked on it for years.”

           “Sofia, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

           “Life is uncomfortable, especially people with anxiety. I can’t live in a cushioned box forever.”

           He nodded slowly, soaking in my words. “You always manage to show me how brave you are.”

           I blushed slightly and shrugged. “It’s not bravery, it’s just trying to live my life.”

           “Sounds pretty brave to me.” He reached for my hand to squeeze it gently.

============

           Despite my willingness to go the few days before, I hit a brick wall. The night before the party, I lay awake in bed, ruminating on the party. I kept getting stuck in the cycle of Sebastian’s friends not liking me. I would feel overcrowded and stuck in a place full of people who thought I was a nobody compared to them. They’d convince Sebastian that he deserved better. I would end up leaving the party without him and he’d never call again. None of his words of encouragement seemed to make it through my thick cloud of self-degradation.

           I got a few hours of sleep and decided to stay in bed for a few hours in the late morning. I heard someone trying to call me but I ignored it. If it was Sebastian, I was still trying to come up with an excuse not to go to the party.

           After years of practice, I was the queen of excuses. And although I was trying not to duck out once I felt the slightest bit of anxiety, my powers still came in handy. But I realized it was a lot harder to lie to Sebastian. He’d been so honest with me, what gave me the right to blatantly lie to him?

           Hey, so my sister…

           Nope, she was in LA that wouldn’t work.

           I got a call from a friend…

           About what? What was important enough to miss this party?

           My mom texted me and told me she…

           No, he’d get too concerned.

           I think I came down with something. There’s been a virus floating around the office for a while. I don’t want to get you sick so maybe I shouldn’t come.

           That was good enough so I sent it to him. Hopefully, he’d believe me on face value and go to the party without me. My punishment for lying to him was spending New Years without him.

           Is there anything I can do?

           No, that’s okay. I’m sorry about the party.

           That’s not what I’m worried about. I want to make sure you’re okay.

           I’ll be okay.

           I threw my phone to the end of the bed and curled up in a fetal position. Tears stung my eyes and I felt like I’d betrayed Sebastian and he would never be able to trust me again. As much as I wanted to prove to him I could be reliable, I couldn’t get out of bed. Every muscle, nerve, and bone in my body felt heavy with dread and grief. I buried my head under my blanket and pillows. I closed my eyes and wanted to just fall back asleep so I didn’t have to consciously cope with any of the emotions.

           But before I could, I felt a buzzing by my feet. I pinched my eyes shut, refusing to answer my phone. He needed to be spared from any more lies.

           About an hour later, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was my landlord since no one else ever knocked on my door.

           Not caring what state she saw me in, I dragged myself out of bed and shuffled over to the front door. I glanced in the peephole and my heart skipped a beat.

           Sebastian looked worried as I opened the door slowly. “Hey…sorry for showing up uninvited.”      

           I leaned against the door, trying to forget I was still in my pajamas. The man had seen me naked before so I guess it didn’t matter what I wore in front of him anymore. “It’s okay.”

           “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Do you think you caught the flu?” He stood by the doorway, not letting himself in.

           “I don’t…I don’t know.” My voice shook. It was unbearable to lie to his face.

           He paused and looked me in the eyes. “Sofi, have you been crying?”

           I swallowed and dabbed at my eyes, hoping it wasn’t that obvious. “I’m sorry, Sebastian. I really tried.” I whispered. There wasn’t hiding it anymore.

           “Tried what? Talk to me.” He coaxed.

           I stepped back from the door and let him inside. The air in the apartment was thick with helplessness but there wasn’t much to be done about it. I sat down on the couch, tucking my feet under me.

           He sat down next to me, resting a hand on my knee. “Please tell me what’s going on. Are you sick?”

           “No.” It didn’t matter that my stomach was nauseous; I knew that was just a psychosomatic response.

           “You’re anxious about the party.” He surmised.

           I could only give a meek nod. “I’m sorry for lying to you.” Another wave of tears threatened to spill down my cheeks.

           “Sofia, I don’t care about that. I mean…I do.” He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. “I just wish you trusted me enough to tell me what you were really feeling. I mean, I know you just told me but...”        

           “It’s not about trusting you. I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of wimp or hermit because I can’t go to a fucking party.” I put my head in my hands.

           “I wouldn’t think that about you. Your anxiety isn’t something I would judge. I want to understand it better, not dismiss it. What scares you the most about the party?”

           I lifted my head and looked at him. “I’m afraid your friends won’t like me and they’ll convince you to find someone better,” I admitted quietly. It sounded stupid saying it out loud but it was deeply scarring to me.

           He didn’t laugh or say I was crazy. He didn’t invalidate me. “They wouldn’t think that. And if they did, fuck them.” He shook his head. “No one could convince me you’re not perfect.” He shifted closer to me and took my hand. “I don’t deal with fake people. I try to surround myself with genuine souls, like you.”

           I looked down at his hand and leaned over to rest against him. “When are you going over?” I wondered. It was exhausting to talk about such deep thoughts and feelings.

           “I don’t want to go.” He shook his head. “I’d rather stay here with you. Or we could go to my place, we can see Times Square and the fireworks.”

           “Yeah, I sort of have a crappy view.” I glanced over at the window that faced the brick wall of another building.

           “Alright, so I’ll let you do your thing and you can come over for dinner? Want take-out or I can make us something?” He offered.

           “Um…whatever you want. I don’t want to make you work hard.”

           “I want it to be special. Better than a party.” He stood up and kissed my forehead.

============

           I went up to Sebastian’s floor and knocked on his door.

           “It’s open!” I heard him call so I walked in.

           “Hi.” I shut the door behind me and shrugged off my jacket. An enticing smell lured me into the kitchen. “I don’t really know my champagne so I brought wine instead.” I set the white wine on the counter.

           “That’s okay, I bought some that someone recommended to me.” He turned around from facing the stove to kiss me.

           “What are you making? It smells amazing.”

           “It’s a chicken recipe my mom gave me, it’s almost ready. I hope I did it right, if not we can get take out.”

           “I’m sure it’ll be perfect.” I wandered into the living room and took in the view of Times Square.

           Sebastian came out with plates of food and set them on the coffee table. He turned on the TV to the countdown but kept the volume low. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

           “That is my worst nightmare down there,” I told him. “The crowds…it’s madness. I don’t understand why people do that.”

           “I guess some people see it as a bucket list thing.” I felt the movement of his shoulders shrugging.

           “Not me.”

           “I don’t really see the appeal either. I’d rather drink and spend time with people I love. Speaking of which.” He drew back.

           I went to sit on the couch as he poured two glasses of wine.

           He held up his glass. “Okay, get ready, this is going to be a good one. Here’s to, a new year of getting to know each other better, and to experiencing the better parts of life.”

           “Like sex?” I raised an eyebrow.

           He laughed. “That’s just one of many. We checked off the sunset and beach kiss so that’s good.”

           “We’ll have to make a list to keep track.”

           “We can do that.” He tapped his glass against mine. “Cheers.”

           “Cheers.” I smiled.

============

           We made it to eleven forty before the electricity of the night took over and Sebastian scooped me up and brought me to the bedroom.

           All my anxiety from that day melted right off my skin as he slipped off my dress and kissed me.

           The time grew closer and I could hear the countdown being shouted from outside.

           When it hit midnight, Sebastian kissed me deeply. The fireworks exploded through the night and Auld Lang Syne echoed through the streets. It was so overwhelming I felt tears in my eyes yet again. They pressed between our cheeks.

           He drew back when he felt them. “Okay?” He asked quietly and stroked my hair back.

           I nodded. “I’m happy…I’m so happy,” I whispered and rested my hands on the back of his neck to kiss him again.

note: I have no idea where Sebastian lives in New York. If I did, you can bet where I’d be camping out. 

Tag list: @tacohead13 @raulesparzalover

Permanent tag: @what-the-buckybarnes

Masterpost

Fic Masterlist

[twohearts-hs]

‘An Office Affair ll’ - CEO!Harry Series

Words: 2,190

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

CEO Harry Series - please request part 3, plus ideas.

Part 1

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

The rest of the day she avoided him; not wanting to see him after everything she said with the incident that morning. It wasn’t until an hour before her shift ended, where he came up to her.

(Y/N) was daydreaming the glass of red wine that was waiting for her in her fridge. She needed it after this day, after everything that has occurred. The wine and Chinese takeout were calling her name.

She was busy getting herself a coffee when he came in. A smirk was planted across his face when she was facing the machine, putting milk and sugar in the mug. The dress she was wearing was flattering on her, he noticed. The dress itself was tight in the right places, and the cardigan she was wearing earlier was off now. Him noticing her butt.

“(Y/N), how’s the first day going, love?” he said, coming up to her, and tapping her on her back in an affectionate matter. Her back pulled in, clearly uncomfortable with the action. She noticed his hair was dishevelled as if stress was experienced.

“Fine, Mr Styles.” she wanted to keep the conversation short, turning around, and almost spilling the beverage over herself.

“(Y/N), love, call me Harry. Rule number one, remember?” he told her, getting closer to her. His hips were in contact with hers, one of his hands were behind her, leaning over her, and the other was in contact with her cheek. She was leant against the counter now. 

“But, anyway, I’m glad you are liking the place. Did you do anything this past weekend?” he was still close to her, their chests almost touching, and his face was mere inches from hers.

“Mr Styles, do you really want to know what I did? I sat at home, watching romcoms while slowly getting drunk off of cheap red wine, which I really need at this moment. I googled the company and wondered who you really were; nothing, special.” she sighed loudly, “We don’t need to do this, trying to be close friends sorta thing, Harry. It’s easy, you’re my boss, I call you by your professional name, and you tell me what I am supposed to do, professionally. Have a good evening, Mr Styles.” she nailed down the word professionally, knowing from the conversations that they have had, he’ll turn it into something inappropriate.

Harry was in complete shock, seeing her push him away, lightly, and walking away. “I was just being nice, (Y/N)!” he yelled to her, as she exited the staff room; she just scoffed.

If Harry was honest and believed himself, there was something different about her. He wasn’t just confused when he saw her that morning in his assistant’s office, he was captivated. Yet, he’ll never admit any of that. He knew he had a reputation to keep up; London’s wealthiest bachelor. He reminded himself over and over again that, he liked his life, he loves his life. He loves Katie at the hall reception who is heads over heels in love with him, flirts her way to bed him, but he knows she has a boyfriend, so he leaves her hanging. Or, Megan, a lady that you expect to be straight, yet she is full on, lesbian. And, he loves Dorothy, who felt like his only friend, if he were to admit it.

Harry kept himself busy throughout the day, but in each dying moment, he wanted to see her. He could see her out of his glass doors once in a while, and he picked up little things that she does; not paying attention to his phone call.

When he first saw her, he picked up the first thing that made him smile, internally of course. It was her lip; she would bite her lip a lot. Was it a case of nervousness or not? Over the day he found it to be a sign of concentration. Every time someone would talk to her, she looked at them, and bit her lip if it were to be about work. He liked it, yet hated it.

The second thing he concluded was her eyes. He knew it was cheesy and he hated cheesy things, but with only a few conversations that they have had, he is overly smitten with them. Not the colour, but just her with them. Though, he hated that she’ll never look at him. Whenever they chatted, or more as, her trying to escape the conversation, she’ll never make eye contact with him. Was she embarrassed? Or just shy?

There were a ton of things he picked up from walking around the floor, or from his personal office. Her laugh, her smile, just her. He concluded that he wanted to bang her. This is his next victim.

(Y/N) was heading towards the door, glad for it to be the end of her day when a tap came on her shoulder; she turned around. The brunette at the reception, the kind one was looking right at her. Her green eyes were looking at hers, and she had the perfect smile on her lips.

“Hey (Y/N), want to head for drinks, tonight? On me of course.” you could tell she was nervous in her voice, but it was the smile that made you ignore it, plus the height and kindness in her voice.

“Megan, right?” (Y/N) asked back, biting her lip. A habit that she never realised she had.

“Yeah, what do you say?” Megan asked once again, placing her glasses on her head. (Y/N) saw Harry at the back of Megan’s head, looking at her while looking at a piece of paper. He had a solemn face and just looked as if he was reading her.

“Hell ya, I really need alcohol at the moment,” she replied, nodding, laughing a bit at the end.

The two of them walked out, heading to the closest pub from the building, which happened to be a few places down. The conversation there was just (Y/N) laughing, hearing all the gossip from the girl next to her.

“So, Dorothy's your boss, huh?” she asked, looking at her. (Y/N) saw how every step Megan took her light curls would bounce and her body had the perfect rhythm. She was beautiful. Complete natural beauty, with her curvy body, and that smile.

“Yeah, she’s good so far,” she responded, opening up the doors to the local pub. Megan placed her hand up, signalling a ‘2’ with her fingers as if she has been here often.

“I’m glad you think that. She is lovely until she starts to talk about her ex.” the two of them sat at the bar, looking at each other. The bartender placing two beers in front of them, which (Y/N) gladly accepted.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, the dude broke up with her about a year and a half ago, and she still can’t let him go. She always talks about the good times, or she would start to cry over stupid things that reminded her of him. It is kind of ridiculous, but Mr Styles will never fire her. She has fucked up a lot, yet, he still keeps her around.”

“What do you mean fucked up a lot?” she asked Megan, groaned.

“She has done a lot of small things, but the major one was that she did a calculation wrong and the company almost went into bankruptcy.” her face went into shock mode, mouth wide open, the whole nine yards.

“Yeah, it was pretty bad, but Styles saved it as always. Like I said, he’ll never fire her; she is like close family with him.”

Two beers, and a shot of tequila later they were just laughing out of nothing. Stories exchanged to one another, just made them laugh no matter what. (Y/N)’s confidence came back, feeling comfortable around Megan. She might’ve gotten a friend tonight.

“I have to ask since I’m a bit drunk, but you call our boss, Styles or Mr Styles. He asked me to call him Harry, like did he do that to you?” Megan rolled her eyes, chunging down another shot of tequila.

“He does that with everyone he wants to bang, except for Dorothy. He did it to me until he found out I am gay.”

“Oh my, well he is not getting in my pants. He is my fucking boss.” Megan looked at her smiling.

“Well, when he starts making moves on you, tell him no; do it fast or else you are in terrible luck. Our last intern fell into his trap, and she got obsessed with him. Long story though.” once again, she was in utter shock.

“So he has banged his intern before?”

“Oh, honey, not just an intern, but interns. He goes through them like crazy, so watch out,” she told her, giggling, and pointing her index finger

“Anything else do I have to watch for?” she asked, signalling the bartender for a glass of wine, “I’ve been craving this since lunch time.”

Megan chuckled, nodding her head in an agreeing matter, “I get it, sister. Um, not really watch out for Sean, big fuck boy. He tried to bang with me, and plenty of other girls, again he failed with me. Watch out for Katie, she’s a bitch, but other than that, nope.” (Y/N) nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

“Has anyone told you-you are extremely gorgeous?” moments later after silence arose and a dinging of a bell happened, both not wanting to turn around to the door. She felt like something or someone was looking at her, she ignored it, though. After all, it is a bar.

“I think the only gorgeous one here is you, Megan, like seriously. I’m like nothing compared to you.” Megan’s smile came into a shaking of the head.

“So you're calling me beautiful?”

“I could-” she was interrupted by a hand on her back, and one on Megan’s as well. They both turned to the person who was responsible for the actions.

“Ladies. (Y/N), and Megan. How are you?” he said, pointing to the bartender with a ‘1’ sign with his fingers. Turns out everyone goes here.

“Fine, Styles. What brings you here on a Monday night?” Megan asked looking at her boss. It was if she had no fear in her eyes. While (Y/N) was the opposite. She was sitting next to a gay woman, drinking her life away, swearing like a sailorman and her boss might’ve been listening to it all, and is in front of her at the moment.

“Just finished hard work, need a drink sort of thing. (Y/N), lovely, can we chat for a second?” he asked, turning his attention to her.

“Um, Mr Styles, I’m a bit busy. Can’t this wait until tomorrow for work?” Harry looked up as the whiskey came in front of him.

“Thanks, Tom. Can you add a little bit more, like to here? Yeah, thanks.” he gestured to a little above half way.

“Oh, (Y/N), darling, sweetie. What happened to us being friends? And, remember the rules.” her hands began to form into fists, and her breaths had to come slow and deep to control herself.

“Styles, we were busy.” Megan was now opposite to how she was with (Y/N). Her wording was stern, and slow; making her point.

“Ms Kelsey, was I talking to you?” Megan groaned, getting the attention of the Tom and ordering another drink.

“(Y/N)?” he looked at her, with his famous smirk. One she knows all too well. 

“Styles, I made it clear that we are not friends, and I know the rules. Which is, don’t become friends with your boss, don’t call your boss by their first name, and just in general, your boss is your boss, and it stays like that,” she told him, glaring at him. The alcohol was taking over, she was drunk now and this was not in her nature. Megan winked at her, smiling and sipping on her rum.

“Oh honey, I think you’re confused. Let me take you home; looks like Megan here, has clearly intoxicated you.”

“I have not. She was the one ordering herself drinks.” Megan bumped in.

“Again, Kelsey, am I talking to you. Let’s go, (Y/N).” he tried pushing (Y/N)’s back to go, but she didn’t budge.

“I said let’s go.” he firmly said, looking at her.

“I am not going, you are not my boss at the moment. Plus I barely know you.” he groaned, placing his head back.

“We are going now, or else it’ll cost you your job.”

“You can’t do that.”

“I can do whatever I want, and we are going.” he finally got her to go; placing down a fifty-pound note, and walked out, with his hand on her lower back.

Part 3

[wishtheywerereal]

Colleagues to Lovers- Will Zic find his true love?

ZOE & ZIC.

Zic was an below average looking 24 year old who has been single for too long that it had started to become uncomfortable. When he finally found a job he was excited that he is finally stepping into the adult life and he could finally start to settle, now all that’s left is to find the right man. You see, Zic never felt that fitness was important and this reflected very well on him. Weighing almost 125Kg at 178 heights, Zic wasn’t really attractive to many guys. The only hook ups he ever got were those who were interested in his massive man boobs. Few months passed in his job and Zic quickly climbed his corporate ladder and was appointed as the assistant manager of his department.

Little did Zic know that his live was about to take a turn towards love and romance. Zic’s manager had resigned and a new manager was incoming soon. Zic heard a lot about his new manager but Zic never expected much as his previous manager wasn’t very attractive anyways. The day came, it was a Monday and Zic’s new manager walked into his office and introduced himself to Zic. “Hi Mr.Zic, I’m Mr Zoe, your new manager,” was all Zic heard as he was being sucked into the eyes of the handsome and sexy looking man in his early 40s.

Zoe: Mr Zic?

Zic: Sorry Mr Zoe, nice to meet you. Hope all works out for us, erm and yea call me Zic sir.

Zoe: Sure. See you around.

As Mr Zoe left his office, Zic sat down on his chair and thought to himself “god damn, how am I supposed to control myself in front of him?!” Zic felt an instant attraction to Zoe but Zoe wasn’t gay. “Guess I won’t have any luck anyways, back to work” sighed Zic as he glued his eyes back to his computer screen. Weeks past and Zic and Zoe maintained a professional relationship. They had lunch together casually and went out for drinks and movies sometimes but Zic kept his feelings to himself but he always had the same feeling whenever he met Zic. The feeling of having a million butterflies in his stomach. Both Zoe and Zic’s offices were in the same room and were divided by a glass wall with a glass door. As the manager, Zoe was given his own room thus Zic was seated on the other side of wall, but he had clear view of Zoe every single day. Zic and Zoe got close very quickly; they became good friends and started sharing their personal life to each other.

Eventually, Zic learnt that Zoe was married twice and both were failed marriages. His first wife passed away due to kidney failure. Things didn’t work out with his second wife however he has a son with his second wife whom he decided to leave with his wife for the better of his son. However, Zoe missed his son a lot. This only made things worse for Zic. He was genuinely attracted to guys who had been through a heart break, he always believed that guys who had been through a heart break were more sentimental and knew the meaning of true love, love that they lost previously.

A few months passed on and one day Zoe walks over to Zic’s table.

Zoe: Can I ask you for a favour?

Zic: Yea sure sir.

Zoe: Well, I know you’re into fish keeping and I just recently moved into a new house. I want to set up something in my living room, something simple and easy to maintain, can you help me with it?

Zic: Sure sir, it will be my pleasure. I’ll meet you up on Saturday and we can discuss? Will be good if I can see the exact spot for the aquarium.

Zoe: Sure Zic, erm, I’ll pick you up from your place on Saturday morning?

Zic: Sure. I will start doing some research for you first.

Zoe: Thanks.

Saturday came and Zoe picked Zic up. As he was just travelling to Zoe’s house, Zic didn’t really dress himself up, he was just wearing his Bermuda and a T-shirt.

Zoe: You could have worn some pants to cover those hairy legs of yours!

Zic: Sorry Sir. I thought you will be fine with this.

Zoe: I am fine, was just joking buddy. Anyways, call me Zoe, you keep reminding me about my age every time you call me Sir. I’m only 41 you know.

Zic: Sorry Zoe, anyways age is just a number, doesn’t mean much.

Zoe: Tell that to the ladies’ man.

Zic: I’m sure ladies fall all over you right? Haha.

Zoe: Yea, by ladies you mean Aunts, then yep. Haha.

“He must have had a lousy Friday night I suppose, or maybe no action in a while. Oh well.” Zic thought to himself as he stood next to Zoe’s car. :Hey big butt, let’s go man!” said Zoe as he smacked Zic’s ass. Zic’s berms were a little tight and his ass, let’s just say his ass was as famous as his man boobs.

After taking a few measurements and discussing a few of details for the tank Zic was wrapping up and packing his stuff when he accidentally trips on Zoe’s carpet and falls over onto to Zoe who was seated on the couch. Due to the fall, he accidentally kisses Zoe’s neck.

  Zic: Gosh, I’m so sorry, it was an accident. I…I….I’m so clumsy.

Zoe: Hey, chill. I knew this carpet was a bad idea. Are you okay?

Zic: Yea, I’d better get going, have to place orders for your fish by today. I will see you on Monday. Rest well.  Bye.

Zic said as he ran out the door. He felt embarrassed about what had happened and he just wanted to leave. Zoe stood at the door looking at the young man running down his corridor. “What’s wrong with me? Why do feel like I have an attraction for him”, Zoe thought to himself as he closed his door.

Monday came and both man meet at their office

Zic: Morning Mr Zoe, I’ve ordered the tank and the fish. The tank will be arriving on This Friday evening and the fishes will arrive on the following week Sunday. We need to give the tank one week to cycle so I delayed the delivery of the fish.

Zoe: Friday, erm, I’m on leave but I’ll be home. So I’ll see you at my place.

Zic: Sure sir. Oh and about Saturday, I didn’t mean to kiss your neck like that, it was…

Zoe: Zic, stop. I know what happened. Don’t worry so much. Let’s get back to work.

“Glad I cleared the air, though it did feel good” Zic thought to himself as he started doing his work.

The week passed on with no big incidents between the two man, however, Zoe started noticing Zic more often and every little thing that Zic did made Zoe feel more attracted to him. On Thursday evening as Zoe was leaving the office,

Zoe: The tank is coming tomorrow right? I will see you tomorrow?

Zic: Yea, I told them to deliver it at around 6pm, so I hope it’s okay?

Zoe: Yea it is. Don’t worry. I’ll see you then.

Zic: Enjoy sleeping in. Haha.

On Friday evening, Zic reaches Zoe’s place at 5pm, an hour before the delivery. He tries ringing the doorbell multiple times but no response from Zoe. However, Zic saw Zoe’s car parked downstairs so he knew Zoe was home. He tries calling Zoe but Zoe doesn’t answer. Zic ends up waiting for an hour and the delivery van arrives with the tank. Zic decides to try calling Zoe again, for the 30th time and finally Zoe picks up, “oh fuck fuck, Sorry. I’m coming, wait wait��� exclaimed Zoe as he runs for the door. He open the door to see Zic standing there with the delivery man and equipment behind him. “sorry Zic, I fell asleep, got a little drunk, come on in.” Zoe explained as he let Zic into the house. Throughout the whole time Zic didn’t say much and Zoe was wondering if he was angry with him. After putting all his things down, Zic instructed the delivery man to start setting everything up and walked up to Zoe.

Zic: Erm, Zoe? I think you’re making the delivery man feel uncomfortable.

Zoe: What? What do you mean?

Zic: You do realise you’re in your underwear right? Those are not even boxers?!

Zoe looks down to realise he was wearing only a skimpy bright yellow underwear. “Oh Fuck!” Zoe said as he covered his crotch and ran to his room. Zic just thought himself “well that was hot” as he giggled softly.  It took 3 hours to set up the tank and after they were done, Zic and Zoe crashed on the couch feeling exhausted.

Zoe: That was embarrassing man! I totally forgot.

Zic: Yet you say only the aunts like you?

Zoe: Not everyone gets to see me in my underwear, that too in a skimpy one.

Zic: Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.

Zoe: Secret?

Zic: Yea, that my boss sleeps in skimpy bright undies!

Zoe: Haha. God damn. Anyways, here, take this spare key. Till this whole set up is complete, hold on to this. Don’t wait outside for an hour. Sorry about that.

Zic: You sure? I don’t mind.

Zoe: No no, take it. It’s ok.

Zic: Alright, I better get going. Enjoy your weekend.

As Zic leaves the house, Zoe closes the door n locks the door. The thought of standing nearly naked in front of Zic was embarrassing but at the same time Zoe was starting to feel turned on by that thought. His member was growing in his pants. “What’s wrong with me?” thought Zoe as he decided to just release his load either way. He removes his shirt and pants. Shoving them to the side and starts rubbing his member in the same yellow undies. Pre cum was soaking the underwear and Zoe was feeling very horny. He decided to try something he has never done before. He turns his laptop on and opens a site for gay porn. Though at first he felt a little weird watching it eventually as he watched it, he realised he was feeling hornier than he already was. He took his underwear off and his 6.5inch cut dick sprung up. Zoe takes some lube and lube up his member and starts stroking himself. “oh fuck, it’s been a while since I felt like this, mmmmm” thought Zoe as he started jerking off. In the video, the top starts to finger the bottom’s ass and this makes gives Zoe an idea. He sits on his couch and lifts up his right left exposing his hole. He takes a bit of lube n starts rubbing it on his hole and slowly slip a finger in. As it was the first time anything has been put up his hole, Zoe felt a bit of pain but he didn’t feel pleasure from it. “Maybe ass play isn’t my thing” Zoe thinks to himself as he continues to jerk himself off. He could feel the orgasm building. His dick was waiting to shoot the load. Zoe laid back and closed his eyes and as he shot his load he exclaimed “Yea Zic, this is for you, fuck yea, take my load!”

Zoe shoots his load all over his chest and some of it gets onto his face. Feeling exhausted, Zoe laid there thinking “Wait, why did I call out his name?!” However, being so tired, Zoe decided to shower and go to bed.

On the other side, Zic reaches home and as he was using he laptop, he suddenly remembers how Zoe looked in his underwear. Though Zoe was 40, he maintained his body well, with nice firm chest muscles and a smooth body. Zoe was definitely a pleasure for sight. Zic needed to wank this one off. He took his clothes off and whipped out the dildo from his drawer. He lubes the dildo up and starts to fuck himself with the dildo. “Ah fuck, yea fuck me Zoe, fuck me like you own me” exclaimed Zic as he starts to ram the dildo inside faster and faster. Unlike Zoe, Zic wasn’t very well endowed. He has an average 4.5 uncut member. Within minutes, Zic shoots his load all over himself.

Both man have already started falling in love with each other and have yet to realise it.

The rest of the week passes by without any major incidents and Sunday finally arrives.

Zic whips out his phone and messages Zoe,

Zic: Hey, I just got the fish, coming over now. Please be awake and get some clothes on: P.

Zoe: Gosh, I am waiting for you dude. Just head on over and don’t worry, I am clothed.

Zoe wanted to play a prank on Zic. “He saw me in my undies, maybe I should get him to be his undies,” thinks Zoe. He thinks of something to do as the doorbell rings.

Zoe: Come on in man.

Zic: Thanks, look, I got the fish.

Zoe: Damn they look cool. Let’s get them in the tank. I’ll go get the net.

Zic: The fish needs to acclimate to the water temperature in the tank first, so I’ll let the bag float in first. Just prepare the net and a pail.

Zoe: Sure, since we got some time, I’ll make us some coffee.

Zic: Sure, thanks.

Thirty minutes passes by and the fish are ready to be released into the tank. As Zic opens the bag to catch the fish, it jumps off the bag and lands on the floor, Zic scoops the fish up and releases it into the tank. Due to that, his clothes get wet -.

Zic: Oh no. Now I’m going to smell like fish…

Zoe: No worries, remove your shirt and pass it to me, I’ll put it on quick wash and dry.

Zic: No worries, I’ll get it washed at home.

Zic was always insecure about being topless as he was afraid people will make fun of his man boobs but Zoe wanted to play the prank.

Zoe: Come on, don’t feel shy, we’re both guys here. It’s ok. Here let me help me.

Zoe walks over to Zic and start to lift it up. Zic gives in and says “okay I’ll take it off, but can I have a towel please?” Zoe walks into to get a tower but asks Zic to remove the clothes in the meantime. As Zic removed his shirt, Zoe watched from his room “Holy cow! Those man boobs!” he thought to himself as he realised his member was growing in his pants. He adjusted his bulge and walked back out with the towel just as Zic dropped his berms revealing the bright red jockstrap he was wearing.

Zoe: Really? Jockstrap?

Zic: Sorry, I just feel comfortable in it.

Zic wrapped himself with the towel and Zoe puts his clothes in the washer.

Zoe: That will take 30 Minutes, just sit down and relax. I’ll close the door just in case.

Zic: Sure, thanks.

Zoe: Anyways, don’t mind if I ask, are those like natural or surgical? I mean, I know you’re gay but just clarifying.

Zic feels embarrassed; he covers his chest using his hands

Zic: It’s natural and humiliating. It gets very depressing at times.

Zoe scoots over to Zic’s side and holds his hand.

Zoe: Listen, it’s important to love yourself. You’re perfect, nothing wrong with you or in you. Cheer up.

Zic: Thanks

*BEEP  BEEP*. The dryer was done. Zic change into his clothes and leaves home. Zoe sat down and starts thinking how it must feel to be unhappy with yourself. He pitied Zic. Zic on the other hand, felt embarrassed about the situation and wondered if Zoe might find him weird.

Days past and the 2 continued about their daily life as usual. Zoe wanted to surprise Zic for helping him out with the tank set up. He brought Zic out for dinner and they both had a wonderful sharing session,

Zoe: Hey listen, about that day, I didn’t mean to hurt; it was just a normal question, casual.

Zic: I understand, didn’t take it offensive at all. It’s just; it gets a little weird at times. I’ve even considered surgery but it probably won’t help.

Zoe: Just let it be, I mean, I’m sure you can learn to love yourself instead?

Zic: It’s easy to say when you have a perfect body like that but when you’re in my shoes, it’s not going to be so easy.

Zoe: Come on, no one’s life is perfect; you just have to accept and move on. You need to cheer up, how about drinks at my place after this? Up for it?

Zic: Well, It’s pretty late already, maybe next time?

Zoe: Oh come on, it’s Friday night! You can crash at my place? I could use some company.

Zic: Fine, but let me get some change of clothes on the way back?

Zoe: Sure, let’s go.

Zoe drives Zic back to his place to pick up some clothes and they both head back to Zoe’s house. For some reason, Zoe was feeling very excited for the sleepover. Upon reaching, Zoe pops open a bottle of Red Wine and both men start drinking while watching a movie. Both of them didn’t bother changing first hence they were both still dressed in their office wear.

Zoe: Damn, this movie is bad! Why did we even pick this?

Zic: I hate to cut a movie, can we finish it?

Zoe: Come on. I can’t take it. I’m cutting it.

Zic: Hey, no!

Both men start brawling over the remote control to the point that they both fall off the couch and landed on the floor. The house fills with the noise of 2 guys grunting in attempts to grab the remote control first. At last, Zoe grabs the remote back from Zic and he realises that he was laying on Zic and the only reason Zic had lost the remote was because he was starring right into Zoe’s eyes.

Zoe drops the remote and stares right back into Zic’s eyes.

Zic: Zoe, I think we should….

Zoe: Shhhh, don’t ruin the moment.

Zic: what?

Zoe closes in on Zic and kisses Zic. The feeling of pure love from a genuine person like Zoe made Zic weak. He couldn’t resist. In no time, both man were making out with each other, hands rubbing down each other’s body. Zoe’s hands reach Zic’s man boobs and he stops. Zic’s heartbeat stops when Zoe stopped moving. “Does he find it weird” thought Zic. Zoe unbuttons Zic’s shirt to reveal 2 massive man boobs with hard nipples waiting to be devoured.

“That is fucking hot and impressive” exclaims Zoe. Without any hesitation, he wraps his lips around Zic’s right boob and starts sucking and licking it.  Zic’s man boobs have always been very sensitive thus Zic was moaning in pleasure as Zoe was soaking them in saliva. “No offense, but they feel like just a woman’s breasts” Zoe mentioned as he took both boobs in his hands and massaged them. “Is that a good thing?” questioned Zic. Zoe replied “You bet!” before sucking on them again. Zic reach for Zoe’s bulge and starts feeling it through Zoe’s pants. “That feels huge” exclaims Zic.

 After a good few minutes of devouring Zic’s man boobs, Zoe starts making out with Zic as Zic unbuttoned and removed Zoe’s shirt as well. Let’s take this somewhere more comfortable said Zoe as he brings Zic to his room. Zic was feeling very nervous yet somewhat mesmerized by Zoe. After switching on the Air-Conditioning in the room, Zoe pushed Zic on to the bed and started making out with him again. He ran his finger along Zic’s body and upon reaching Zic’s crotch; he could feel a hard on waiting to burst out.

Before going any further, Zic had to know something first. “Zoe, before this goes out of hand, I know you’re straight, all these could very well be just lust or it could be, you know, more? What is this going to be? I don’t wish to spoil the moment but I don’t want to be lead on either” questioned Zic. Zoe stopped what he was doing and looked directly into Zic eyes, “to be honest with you Zic, initially I thought it was just my sexual desire that was building up, whenever I thought of you, I just started feeling horny. But things changed when we got so close to each other, looking at you smile or laugh when you were with me made me feel like I accomplished something. You joy made me feel joy. I fell in love with you, but I was too scared to ask, I am older than you. I love you Zic, I want this to go on further but if you don’t wish to date a man who is 16 years older than you, you don’t have to” said Zoe as he moved to get off of Zic. Zic knew at that exact moment that Zoe was more than just a fling. He pulled Zoe closer and started kissing him again. Zoe knew what that meant and was overjoyed.

“So what you wearing under these pants? Jockstrap again?” Zoe laughed as he started unbuttoning Zic’s pants. Zoe removed Zic’s pants to reveal a red Renoma underwear which was wet with precum. “Damn, that’s wet, exactly how I like it” exclaimed Zoe as he pulled the last remaining piece of clothing off Zic. Zic was laying naked on Zoe’s bed as Zoe started rubbing Zic’s dick, gently stroking it to keep his partner moaning while he nibbled on those man boobs once more. “You have an amazing body” said Zoe as he went down to Zic’s dick. “I’ve never done this before, so forgive me if I do it wrong”, said Zoe as he was about to suck Zic’s dick. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to” said Zic, but Zoe smiled and started sucking Zic’s dick. He worked his tongue all around Zic’s dick, giving extreme pleasure to the young man. Zoe’s teeth did give Zic a bit of discomfort but nothing could affect the pure pleasure he was having. Zoe lifted Zic’s legs into the air and slowly moved down towards Zic’s hole. His licked around Zic’s hole making him moan louder and louder. Zoe then started eating out Zic’s ass which made Zic grasp the bed real hard. Zoe slowly inserted his finger into Zic’s hole and started fingering him while he moved up to kiss him.

 Zic held Zoe’s hand and guided him to lay back on the bed. “I have a favour to return” said Zic as he starting undoing Zoe’s pants with his mouth. Zoe wasn’t wearing any underwear, thus his pants were stained with precum. Upon unzipping, Zoe’s 6.5inch monster sprung up like a summoned beast. “omg, that  is huge ”exclaimed Zic as he started licking Zoe’s dick. Zoe closed his eyes and started enjoying the blowjob from Zic. Zic knew what he was doing, working around the shaft and slowly swallowing every inch of Zoe’s tool, giving his man the ultimate pleasure, Zic went slow not wanting to rush. Slowly his fingers trailed down to find Zoe’s hole. Zic started rubbing Zoe’s hole with a bit of saliva while sucking his dick. Though Zoe wasn’t too sure about having another man touching his hole, he trusted Zic and Zic being thoughtful, didn’t want to hurt Zoe as he assumed Zoe was never analed or fingered before.

 Zoe couldn’t hold it any longer, “I need that ass, now!” claimed Zoe as he reached out into his bedside drawer and grabbed a condom. Zic laid on the bed with his back facing Zoe, he could feel Zoe entering him. Zoe took it slow, he didn’t want to hurt Zic. In just a few seconds, Zoe was balls deep in Zic and he started thrusting. With each thrust he became faster and faster and soon enough, he was pounding Zic hard in his butt. Zoe’s fucking brought Zic to the edge of pleasure and after about 5 minutes of intense pounding, Zic shot his load all over the bed even without having his dick touched by Zoe or himself. “Wow, that hot!” claimed Zoe as he began fucking Zic harder. “ Wish I could fill you up” requested Zoe. “I’m sure you’re clean, why don’t you take that condom off and get in there raw daddy” teased Zic.

Zoe smiled, he pulled the condom off and started fucking Zic raw. Within minutes, Zoe was filling Zic’s hole his warm cum. “Ah fuck yeah! Fuckkkk, this feels awesome!” exclaimed Zoe. Zoe’s body shivered as the last drop of cum came out of his dick and dripped down Zic’s hole as he pulled out. Both man crashed on the bed, right next to each other. Zoe gathered some strength and walked out to grab a few tissues and towels and a fresh set of bed sheet. He changed the bed sheet and both men helped each other to clean off in the shower. Zoe offered to let Zic sleepover as he knew Zic was probably worn out. “Thanks Zoe, appreciate it!” said Zic as he got back on to the bed and reached for the pillow.

“Not the pillow, come here, lay on my chest for a bit, I just want to cuddle with you” requested Zoe. Zic was very glad to have a man like Zoe.

 Zoe: Zic, not just for the sake of fucking, but I love every bit of you, character, personality and now, body.

Zic: Zoe, I love you too! Wish I could stay like this forever.

Both men talked their heart out and the next morning, they couldn’t even remember what time they fell asleep.

 Everyone has someone special out there, just be patient, you will find your right man. Just don’t rush into something you will regret later. Till we meet again, bye bye. A

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛   friends sentence starters   ❜

‘  *reading obituaries* suddenly i wish i was reading my own name.  ’ ‘  you don’t even have oven mitts on!  ’ ‘  wow. i could so easily freak out right now.  ’ ‘  do you think it’s easy for me to see you with somebody else?  ’ ‘  hey, you remembered to put clothes on this morning.  ’ ‘  no more falafel for you!  ’ ‘  we were on a break!!  ’ ‘  you’re such a tattletale.  ’ ‘  i love you goddesses!  ’ ‘  everyone i know is either getting married or getting pregnant or getting promoted and I’m getting coffee. And it’s not even for me!  ’ ‘  it’s   ’ ‘  this is all a moo point. yeah, it’s like a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter. it’s moo.  ’ ‘  so, the ebola virus. that’s gotta suck, huh?  ’ ‘  my gynecologist tried to kill me.  ’ ‘  you can’t tell, but i’m trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.  ’ ‘  boy, you are not a morning person.  ’ ‘  yeah, well, i’m a slut.  ’ ‘  how you doin’?  ’ ‘  i am warm... for your form.  ’ ‘  i’m really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.  ’ ‘  are you saying that you don’t wanna get with this?  ’ ‘  hey, you’re a pathetic loser, right?  ’ ‘  sometimes i wish i was a lesbian... did i say that out loud?  ’ ‘  if i were a guy and... did i just say, ‘if i were a guy’?  ’ ‘  i guess things were just going to well for me!  ’ ‘  i don’t have a plan. i don’t even have a ‘pla.’  ’ ‘  he’s so pretty i want to cry!  ’ ‘  prepare to feel very bad about yourself.  ’ ‘  i’m sorry that’s who i am. i’m a positive person.  ’ ‘  no, i’m a positive person. you are like santa clause on prozac at disneyland, getting laid.  ’ ‘  i’m hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!  ’ ‘  she was nice. i mean, she’s a little slutty, but who isn’t?  ’ ‘  honey, this is not your fault. just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify them sleeping with someone else.  ’ ‘  from now on, i am not getting out of this chair, ever. okay? from now on, this chair is the one.  ’ ‘  i wish i could, but i don’t want to.  ’ ‘  alright, i took the quiz and, it turns out, i do put career before men.  ’ ‘  look at him, he’s so cute. i just wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him!  ’ ‘  i think, if it was a little colder in there, i could see your nipples through that sweater.  ’ ‘  what’s wrong with me... oh, don’t open that door.  ’ ‘  let me think, let me think... oh, i don’t care!  ’ ‘  i have no idea what’s going on, but i’m excited!  ’ ‘  i tend to keep talking until somebody stops me.  ’ ‘  when i first meet somebody, it’s usually panic, anxiety, and a great deal of sweating.  ’ ‘  are we greeting each other this way now? because i like it.  ’ ‘  it looks like you fell asleep with a hanger in your mouth.  ’ ‘  you wanna play twister?  ’ ‘  once, i got dumped during sex.  ’ ‘  here we are, with our future before us, and i only want to spend it with you.  ’ ‘  welcome to the real world. it sucks. you’re gonna love it!  ’ ‘  hey, you cry every time somebody talks about the titanic.  ’ ‘  if worst comes to worst, i’ll be your boyfriend.  ’ ‘  who loses 57 coin tosses in a row? you know? heads, she wins. tails, i lose.  ’ ‘  shut up! shut up! SHUT UP!  ’ ‘  i’m so glad we’re having this rehearsal dinner, you know? it’s so rare that i get to practice my meals before eating them.  ’ ‘  you always believed in me, even when i didn’t believe in myself.  ’ ‘  you’re fake laughing too, right?  ’ ‘  it’s sunday morning, i am not running on a sunday.  ’ ‘  ugh, dammit. why did i open my mouth?  ’ ‘  wow, we really are bitches.  ’ ‘  so why don’t you be a grown up and come and watch some tv in the fort!  ’ ‘  i don’t know what i’m gonna do with my life.  ’ ‘  i’m full, and yet i know if i stop eating this, i’ll regret it.  ’ ‘  kill me. kill me now.  ’ ‘  i want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour!  ’ ‘  what must it be like to not be crippled by fear and self-loathing?  ’ ‘  a stripper at a bachelor party, that is so cliché. why don’t you guys get a magician?!  ’ ‘  i’m curvy and i like it!  ’ ‘  i don’t share food!  ’ ‘  if i have to, i’d pee on any one of you.  ’ ‘  the fridge broke so i had to eat everything.  ’ ‘  you can’t have s-e-x when you’re taking care of the b-a-b-i-e!  ’ ‘  you’re over me? when were you... under me?  ’ ‘  these are just feelings. they’ll go away.  ’ ‘  i used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me.  ’ ‘  i mean, sure, i have my bad days, but then i remember what a cute smile i have.  ’ ‘  offering people gum is not cooking.  ’ ‘  i bought him a $500 watch and he wrote me a rap song.  ’ ‘  you know you should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people.   ’ ‘  no, inside good. outside baaaaad.  ’ ‘  they’re always saying ‘let’s go here, let’s go there.’ like we can afford to go here and there.  ’ ‘  i hate my job. i hate it. oh, i want to quit, but then i think i should stick it out.  ’ ‘  you think i have $1200? i’m home in the middle of the day and i got patio furniture in my living room.  ’ ‘  neat! i’m gonna die alone!  ’ ‘  okay, could you just stop talking for a second?  ’ ‘  i’ve sort of had feelings for you.  ’ ‘  today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.  ’ ‘  why am i friends with these people?  ’ ‘  i eat by myself in the alley because everyone hates me.  ’ ‘  i’m a lone wolf. a loner. alone. all alone. forever.  ’ ‘  my life is an embarrassment! i should just go live under somebody’s stairs.  ’ ‘  if i died, the only way people would know that i was here would be the ass print on this chair!  ’ ‘  i always thought if you and i got married, that would be the one that stuck.  ’ ‘  hi, i make jokes when i’m uncomfortable.  ’ ‘  i am not ‘blah’, i am a hoot!  ’ ‘  i just realized i can sleep with my eyes open.  ’ ‘  up until i was 25, i thought that the only response to ‘i love you’ was ‘oh, crap!’  ’ ‘  if the homo sapiens, were in fact ‘homo’ sapiens, is that why they’re extinct?  ’ ‘  do you think i need a new walk?  ’ ‘  you don’t own a tv? what’s all your furniture pointed at?  ’ ‘  just think of it like this: the third day. monday, one day. tuesday, two day. wednesday... when? huh? what day? thursday! the third day!  ’ ‘  eye-contact? i hope you were using protection!  ’ ‘  you were right, and from now on, yo make all my decisions for me.  ’ ‘  you said your boss wants to buy your baby?  ’ ‘  why god, why?!! we had a deal!! let the others grow old! not me!!  ’ ‘  last night i was finishing off a pizza and she said, ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!’ i don’t need that kind of talk in my house!  ’ ‘  you’re druuuuunk. mom and dad are gonna be maaaad! ...maybe i’m a little drunk.  ’ ‘  let her know i like her? are you insane?  ’ ‘  what’s it gonna take for you to forgive me?  ’ ‘  isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?  ’ ‘  you’re crying over a doritos commercial.  ’ ‘  that fake british woman is a real bitch, but she sure can dance.  ’ ‘  i think it’d be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.  ’ ‘  seriously... good luck on marrying me.  ’ ‘  there is no ‘us’, okay?  ’ ‘  i fell for you and i get clobbered. you then fall for me and i again, somehow, get clobbered.  ’ ‘  it’s just not worth it.  ’ ‘  we are never gonna happen, okay? accept that.  ’ ‘  you know what? you’re the one who ended it.  ’ ‘  i ended it because i was mad at you. not because i stopped loving you.  ’ ‘  imagine the worst things you think about yourself. now, how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.  ’ ‘  you were worth the wait.  ’ ‘  that’s our baby.  ’ ‘  you deserve to be with someone who appreciates and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing and adorable and sexy you are.  ’

[maniibear]

for @ishipallthings -- happy belated birthday, dear! The gift is 84 years late, but I hope you enjoy the stony :)

Word Count: ~5400 Warnings: mention of abuse, non-graphic asthma, a Hamilton reference Summary: StevexTony; Steve has a one-night stand on Sunday, and a job interview on Monday. Guess who is his potential boss’s son?

Six in the morning, and the world is just starting to wake up. Steve’s in the middle of the city, but deep enough into a nicer area that he can only hear traffic from a distance. The local noise is still crickets and sprinklers, and the occasional van rolling in with deliveries to the rich and famous dwelling here in the heart of Manhattan.

Steve’s sure enough he’s not going to get mugged here, and he’s tempted to savor the brightening solitude, but he can also feel the dull scratch of anxiety at the back of his mind. Maybe if it was a Saturday, he could have savored the pleasant ache in his body, given in to the compulsion to smile like a dope and be less concerned about his terrible bed head. If it were a Saturday, he wouldn’t have even gotten out of bed.

But here he is, loitering on the street on a Monday morning, thin frame wrapped in a shirt that was conspicuously missing a few buttons and definitely not fooling the throng of blue collar workers making their way to their employers’ terrifically expensive condos. Steve is just in the process of politely refusing a squished granola bar from the cavernous tote bag of a sweet granny type who speaks little English, but clearly manages to convey that she thinks he’s pillow pet who’s been kicked out before some rich-and-famous’s spouse returned, when he hears the familiar roar of Bucky’s motorcycle. Steve hastily thanks granny, vows to learn a little Vietnamese, and bolts.

He jumps on the back of the bike and hastily taps the side of Bucky’s hip. “Go go go!”

“Aw, runnin’ out on your girlfriend, Stevie?”

“Buck!” Steve grits his teeth desperately.

Bucky just laughs and tosses the spare helmet back.

“So,” he says happily, once Steve is all strapped in and they’re on the way back to their apartment on a less manicured side of town. “This all seems wildly irresponsible.”

Steve woke up to the sound of the radio playing low, like it was meant to be background noise than anything else. A cursory glance showed the bed was empty beside him. Steve shuddered into further wakefulness and picked up on the sound of running water coming from the adjoining bathroom.

Right. He fell back on the bed with a huff, crumpled sheets keeping the bare minimum of his modesty in check, and stared up at the chandelier. The bathroom door opened just then. Steve let his head fall to the side and smiled at a very gorgeous and equally naked Tony. It dawned on Steve that he was enough of an art nerd to look at him paused in the doorway and think of Donatello’s David.

“Hey.”

Tony looked briefly startled, but a smile spread across his face before Steve could think anything about it, and the next thing he knew, Tony took a flying leap and cannonballed into his arms. The sheets tangled further around their winding legs, fingers intertwined, and mouths pressed against each other like they hadn’t spent the last twelve hours together.

Tony tasted like mint and fresh water and his eyes sparkled like the insets in the chandelier above. “Let’s just do this all day,” he suggested. “I’ll order breakfast; whatever you want, from wherever you want.”

That made Steve laugh. He couldn’t help but think that if Tony bottled and sold his apparent ability to make endorphins happen, he’d make a killing. Not that Tony was in any dire need of money; no, judging by how he hadn’t yet let go of Steve, it was pretty obvious what he did need.

And Steve was happy to give it. He ran his hands along slim thighs resting between his own; he kissed Tony’s palm when it brushed his cheek, and god, it was tempting, this offer to roll around in bed all day. Surely, there were some errands he could put off for another weekend. Steve just let his eyes fall shut to try and recall his schedule, and the radio drifted in.

‘You’re listening to NPR and it is Monday 6:15 AM’—what?!

“Fuck!” Steve shot up so fast that he dislodged Tony, who landed beside him with a small ‘oof!’.

“Ow?” he complained, but Steve was too busy grabbing at his phone and staring in shock at a number of missed calls from Bucky, and a text from Sharon wishing him luck on the first day of his new job.

Fuck fuck fuck!

“I have to go,” he wheezed at Tony, who was still sprawled in bed with his chin in his hands as he watched Steve wrestle his clothes on. His eyes weren’t quite so bright anymore.

“Uh-huh.”

“No, I don’t mean…I’m proposing. A lady…” Steve winced at the look on Tony’s face. His brain could handle threading his belt and texting Bucky at once, but clearly drew the line at adding coherent speech. Hitting send on the text begging his best friend to pick him up from his ‘night out’, Steve took a breath.

“Sorry, I meant, I have to make a proposal to someone kind of important today. God, I can’t believe I forgot! It’s been on my calendar for a month.”

“Not the marriage kind, I’m guessing?” Tony asked. Steve wondered if it was normal to be this stupidly pleased that he was smiling again.

“No, just the work kind, I’m afraid.” He swallowed thickly when Tony stretched on the bed, arching ridiculously and then slipping off in a pile of sheets and long limbs.

“Yeah, I have to be somewhere too,” Tony said ruefully. He padded over to Steve, still naked, and poked his chest. “You’re free for dinner, right?”

“You’re telling me that our boy here, who literally would not shut up about this contract with the Stark Foundation, had to be picked up from a one night stand on the first day.”

“Tragic, isn’t it?” Bucky replies.

“I blame you,” says Sam. “Ten PM, and did you know where your best friend was?”

“Did you?”

“Hey, I have a real job. You work from home, Steve’s your responsibility.”

The barstool creaks when Bucky settles on it. “He’s a cry for help.”

Steve spits the last of the toothpaste into the sink and ducks out to glare at his friends. “First of all, neither of you are my parents,” he says, pointing the toothbrush viciously at both of them. “Second of all, how come you two can get along to rag on me, but can’t bother when I...I don’t know, have an important client?”

To their credit, Sam and Bucky exchange a look that might have been apologetic about the whole Prince of Wakanda incident, but it all becomes moot when Sam asks, “So, does that guy like cats or…?”

“Oh my god!” Steve rolls his eyes incredulously and disappears back into the bathroom as Sam doggedly follows up with, “Dude shows up dressed like a cat, Steve; you weren’t even a little curious?”

“Anyway, we still wanna know who kept you out all night when you had a job today.” Bucky sings when he doesn’t answer. “Come on, Stevie, don’t make us hold your portfolio hostage.”

Steve dashes back out, shirt halfway buttoned and a severe look on his face. Sam and Bucky just smile back at him serenely. Not that he should have expected anything else—his friends might be assholes, but they knew better than to mess with his work. They latch on to his relief, though, and loom over the counter like cats that spotted cream.

“I…ah, geeze,” Steve focuses on smoothing his shirt down and hunting for his jacket to combat the blush climbing over his cheeks. “His name’s Tony. He’s well off, I guess…young, though.”

“How young?”

Steve resists the urge to mess up his combed hair with a nervous gesture. “Uh, he was at Triskelion for his twenty-first birthday.”

This time Bucky and Sam exchange another look of high strung exasperation. 

“Steve, you’re only twenty five, not ninety, so don’t think you’re cradle robbing or anything.” Bucky says. “Although, I question why a guy who lives in the kinda place I picked you up at is celebrating his day of legal booze at Triskelion.”

He asked Tony as much and Tony just grinned, warm and lush and impossibly attractive in his birthday suit.

“Why were you, uh…?”

“Slummin’ in the city in my fancy heels?” Tony laughed. And how was Steve supposed to resist leaning up to kiss him?

“So,” he murmured against Tony’s lips when they parted. “Were you searching for an urchin, or what?”

Tony exhaled in a long sigh, and pushed him back so Steve’s back hit the impossibly soft mattress again and his palms slid up Tony’s thighs. “You’re a smart guy, Steve, artist extraordinaire,” he said. “I’m sure you don’t think today was really my first time drinking.”

Steve hummed affirmative. He didn’t think too many first timers went for the whiskey.

“This huge deal about my 21st, it’s mostly for the show. I’m sure Dad’s expecting me to head downtown and make the glamour section. Maybe even get locked up.”

“Tony!”

Tony snickered, looked down at Steve like he was adorable. “Relax, I’d get bailed out in an hour, tops, and nobody would talk about it again. Told you it’s just for show.”

If Tony expected Steve to be ok with that explanation, he was wrong. It just made him more protective of this boy he’d only met a couple hours ago. But who was he to tell Tony what was what? Steve stroked heavily down Tony’s thighs, himself warm with drink. “Ok,” he said instead. “So, you’re rebelling against your parents by having a quiet night in?”

“Just my dad,” Tony drawled. “…and…” he slid down Steve’s legs in a sinuous move that made his mouth go dry, and parted his thighs without breaking eye contact. “…I’m hoping I won’t be quiet for long.”

At 9 AM sharp, Steve finds himself sitting on an expensive microfiber couch, draped tastefully with a throw rug. His clothes are neat, his hair is combed, his portfolio is stacked with several excellent examples of why he should lead the branding effort for the newly minted Maria Stark Foundation.

There’s a strange, premonitory quality to the air that Steve chalks up to nerves. Not for the first time this morning, he chides himself for going drinking before the interview. He wants this job, he should have acted like it. But then, a vision of Tony’s firework grin flashes through his mind and Steve can’t bring himself to regret his life choices too much.

Steve absently scratches a bruised spot on his chest, remnant of an ardent hickey, and already thinks about their meeting tonight. He imagines greeting Tony with good news, easily envisions the delighted kiss that would come after.

“I told you!” Tony would say, probably against Steve’s lips because he’d be too impatient to wait until they finished kissing. And Steve would laugh--

“Mr. Rogers?” 

The door to the main office stands wide open and a redheaded assistant looks inquiringly over at Steve, who sits up and banishes his decidedly unprofessional train of thought.

 “You can go in now,” the assistant says.

 - 

There’s a piano in the far corner of the studio and there’s someone playing it. The piece sounds good, albeit halting, as if it were still being practiced. Steve can’t see who, but doesn’t think they should be the focus of his attention anyway. Howard Stark greets him with an air of severity from behind the cherrywood desk.

“The artist,” he says. “Rogers, is it? Stephen?”

“Steve, sir, and yes.”

The melody on the piano hits a sour note and falters.

A frown crosses Howard’s brow. “Unfortunately, Maria couldn’t be here, but she shortlisted you, so you must have something worth a look.” He turns to the piano with a somewhat sardonic curl to his lip. “Anthony, would you like to join us?”

A few more notes tinkle out of the piano before it finally stops. There’s a shuffling noise, and Steve finally turns to cast a look at Anthony--

--and immediately breaks into gooseflesh. Sure, he has on more clothes and his hair is neatly combed back, but Anthony and his talents on the piano are none other than his Tony. Tony, who immediately gives a knowing smile as he crosses over to the desk, and Steve has to quickly school his features before Howard can notice. Speaking of which, how did Tony end up in Howard’s office?

It becomes more obvious when Tony gets closer. Oh please, Steve thinks, don’t let it be--

“My son,” Howard says.

Steve smiles wanly. “Oh.”

Tony bites his lip to keep from laughing.

Tony grinned delightedly and swaggered closer to Steve’s side of the pool table. He raised his eyebrows and made sure Steve was watching before sliding up to sit on the edge and position his pool stick behind him.  

There were dollar bills lying on yet another edge-- crumpled 5’s from Steve’s pocket and a tidy 20 from Tony’s. It was the first time Steve had ever taken up a random stranger’s offer of a game, but it wasn’t exactly a hustle. Steve hadn’t been fooled by Tony’s pretend fumbling more than he’d been distracted by how much the guy liked to put on a show, and then by his smile.

They knew each other for less than an hour, but Tony was somewhat of a rubik’s cube, and Steve liked a challenge.

“You’re not going to make it,” he predicted, eyeing the layout of targets on the felt.

Tony cast a disdainful glance. “Yes, I will.

Steve didn’t reply to that; he just made an acquiescing gesture and leaned heavily on his pool stick.

Tony licked his lips, took the shot, and--he didn’t make it. Bafflement looked adorable on him, though, Steve thought before he could stop himself.

“No, my math was right,” Tony slid off the edge and insisted. “I should have gotten the three and four.”

“You factor in how much you drank?”

Tony shot him another look. “Of course, I did.”

And yet, the pockets remained empty. Steve glided over to the table, judged the angles, and positioned his own stick. He took his shot, and both his targets obediently rolled into their goal. “You sure about that?” he asked Tony.

“Well,” Tony stepped into his space. “I might not have factored in how distracting you were.”

Steve could feel the warmth of their proximity and felt warm himself, looking at Tony’s lips. He’d come into Triskelion for a quick drink and a solitary game of pool to calm his nerves about his proposal tomorrow. He was supposed to have left an hour ago and should have been getting ready for a full night’s rest right about now, if not for some trashtalking punk challenging him.

Sadly, said punk was also ridiculously attractive and being near him thrilled Steve. He brushed his hand along Tony’s waist before either of them knew what they were doing. Tony looked startled for a moment, but then exhaled a soft, contented ‘ah’ as his whole body language melted into willingness. Steve could feel his heart jump, but wrapping his arm around Tony’s waist felt as natural as curling his fingers around a paintbrush; so did pulling Tony forward until kissing him was inevitable.

Obviously it never occurred to either of them to be shy. Steve was raring to go by the time Tony said, “You wanna get out of here?”

“Get out of here,” Tony gushes. “These are incredible!”

Pages turn noisily in his hands, but it’s not enough to mask the sound of Steve’s heart beating in his own ears. This feels ridiculously unfair. There’s a part of him that’s quite rightly mortified that the cute young thing that he’d hooked up with last night is his potential boss’s son. Then, there’s another, arguably bigger, part of Steve that watches Tony’s sincere delight in his craft and imagines reaching across the desk to kiss Tony until they were both breathless.

But that’s no way to think about a man’s son in his direct presence.

“Thank you,” Steve says instead, voice skirting a new and apparently razor thin line he’s discovered between giddy affection and gracious professionalism.

Tony glances up and smiles back impishly. Howard pointedly clears his throat.

“Slow down, Anthony,” he advises. “We have a few more candidates to go before we decide--”

“--decide who to get in bed with. I know,” Tony drones long-sufferingly, and Steve quickly disguises a strangled groan behind a cough.  

“Exactly,” Howard says in the dry tones of one used to Tony’s behavior for roughly two decades. “Glad to see you enthusiastically involved in the proceedings, for once.”

“Oh, you know me,” Tony lifts his chin to smile at Steve, and takes his time licking the tip of his finger before turning another page. “I see something I like, I have to be hands on.”

Christ. So, this is how it’s going to be.

Steve offers an eulogy for the weeks he’d spent practicing his answers to every professional curveball he might be thrown, because who could have predicted Tony Stark? Who could have predicted that the stranger Steve spent all night bending over various fancy furniture would appear at his interview and start firing off innuendo?

Whoever it was, they should also have known Steve wasn’t the type to back down.

“I’m glad you think so...Anthony,” he replies, dragging each syllable out on his tongue for as long as he dared. “Always happy to meet a fan of my work.”

“Oh, call me Tony,” comes the hurried reply, just before Tony leans casually on the desk and gestures at the illustrations. “And I’m curious: where does all this magic happen?”

“If I’m not working on-site with a client, have a setup at home, where I probably spend too much of my time,” Steve shrugs some of the stiffness from his shoulders and gives a short laugh. “I know you must think being bent over a drafting table for hours is awful, but it’s actually a lot of fun.” He pauses for effect before adding. “I enjoy it, anyway.”

It takes a moment for Tony to find his voice. “Honestly, I can see where you’re coming from,” he says, rougher than before. “So, do you work alone? Or is there someone helping out on that drafting board?”

“Well, they say too many tugs spoil the weave,” answers Steve, knowing full well that nobody ever said that. “I tend to be picky about who I work with, but sometimes--well, it’s entirely possible, you meet someone by chance and you just click.”

Winking flirtatiously might be inappropriate for the setting, but Steve has enough meaningful looks and bashful smiles in his repertoire to slip one under Howard’s radar.

On the other hand, Tony’s lopsided grin doesn’t quite cover the faint red on his cheeks. He casts his eyes down endearingly. “That sounds--”

“Needlessly romantic,” Howard interjects. He directs a sharp look at Tony. “Young Ms. Van Dyne rubbing off on you?”

Tony snickers. “No, I don’t think it’s me Jan wants to--” he trails off when Howard’s expression grows admonishing, and seamlessly rounds on Steve instead.

“Jan’s my friend,” Tony informs him. “But just a friend! Not like my girlfriend or anything. Just so we’re clear.”

“Uh, quite,” Steve nods, telling himself it’s not mollification he feels. Luckily, Howard seems too exasperated by his son to notice Steve’s inner melodrama.

“I think you’ve wasted enough of Rogers’ time today,” he says, and Steve winces when he plucks the samples from Tony’s hands. “Now, if you don’t have real questions, you know where the door is.”

“But I have questions,” Tony insists. Quickly, before Howard can object, he asks, “So, Steve, why do you want to work for the Maria Stark foundation? Besides the perks, the prestige, and the great work we do?”

Steve’s eyebrow twitches. He’s no longer surprised by cheeky questions, but it’s disquieting the way Tony resolutely avoids eye contact with his father. And as for Howard himself, Steve tucks the man’s callousness away in the back of his mind before his objection to it shows on his face.

“For me, it’s the people,” he answers finally. “I first got to know of Mrs. Stark’s work through the hospital charity, when my Ma was admitted.”

Tony lifts his eyes, somber but clearly curious. Howard remains impassive as ever.

“She patched us through to some good treatments; experimental stuff we wouldn’t have known about,” Steve continues. “Ma didn’t make it, but thanks to Mrs. Stark, I know it wasn’t for lack of trying. This is my way of giving back.”

Tony’s lips move. Steve can see them form the familiar ‘I’m sorry’ but Howard gets in first.

“Giving back what exactly?” he asks, even and unimpressed. “You don’t have enterprise clients or global experience.”

“But I have done my homework,” Steve counters smoothly. “The Foundation is still facing a public opinion problem--what with Stark Industries manufacturing weapons and the Foundation seeking to aid war-torn regions. If you turn to page eleven, my proposal to reconcile that is right there.”

For the first time, Howard looks interested. Steve keeps one eye on the elder Stark reading through his proposal and the other on Tony, who no longer seems as enthusiastic as Howard had liked. He scratches the side of his head, fingers carding nervously through black hair and trying hard to be subtle about it.

The urge to clasp that hand and kiss the nerves away makes Steve restless. He curls his palms on the desk, focuses on the cool wood before he does something stupid.

“Not bad,” Howard finally passes his verdict. “Could use a few improvements, but it’ll fool enough folks with deep pockets.”

In spite of himself, Steve feels his professional demeanor slip. Theoretically, he shouldn’t contradict an employer. Then theoretically, an employer shouldn't say shady things, Steve thinks, which dovetails right into him telling Howard, “Sir, I don’t want to fool anyone.”

Casually noting Tony's interest in the face of Howard's vexation, Steve continues, “I just want to show people that war may be a necessary evil, but that it doesn’t absolve us from humanitarianism; that we’re committed to improvement, not conflict.”

“That’s good,” Howard chuckles. “That should convince the hippies on the West Coast. Believe it or not, we still have investors in the Bay who are cagey about giving us money all because we’re in the weapons business.”

Tony sits up, features growing tight and resolute. “But SI makes more than enough profit to cover that gap.”

Howard’s expression grows abruptly thunderous. “You’re out of your goddamn mind,” he retorts harshly, and Steve starts in surprise.

What he’d assumed was normal tension between a straightlaced father and an incorrigible son gets quickly shadowed by the flash of real fear in Tony’s eyes. It isn’t there for long. Tony schools his features in seconds, relaxing back into a marvelous, calculated insolence, but Steve is hard pressed to be fooled.

“We’re not Santa Claus, to be out saving the whole world,” Howard continues. “Even a charitable foundation needs good business sense before it needs blind optimism, or do you think your mother’s bleeding heart is enough to keep the lights on? ”

Tony grows steely. “Look, I just meant--”

“Meant,” Howard echoes derisively. “I’ve told you once, I told you a hundred times, Anthony: what you meant doesn’t count for shit.”

“Sir, that’s enough.” Steve keeps his voice deliberately low, but it’s enough to stun both Starks into pin drop silence.

Howard looks predictably incensed at being challenged. Tony mostly looks surprised. Surprised, and grateful in a way that strikingly reminds Steve of his own youth--of boys twice his size, of blood flowing from his split lip or broken nose, of the first time Bucky extended a hand to lift him off the ground and Steve had stared at it like a goddamn miracle. It’s that same look in Tony’s eyes which makes him throw diplomacy out the window.

“I spent weeks preparing for this interview,” Steve gets in before Howard can rebuke him. “Everyone who knows me knows how I bad I wanted this job, and it’s not because I want to create press releases for profit, but because I want everyone to know Mrs. Stark’s work when they see it.”

Steve begins gathering up his samples, not-so-accidentally brushing Tony’s fingertips with his own. “But I won’t work with bullies, no matter the business sense.”

Howard contemptuously pushes the portfolio away. “I’d watch my tone, if I were you.”

“Well, sir, you’re not me,” Steve counters caustically, and snaps his binder shut. Standing up, he doesn’t have much of a height advantage, but a withering look taken from the best of Peggy’s repertoire works just as well. “But let me know when you catch up.”

Howard grows livid. “Get out!”  

They couldn’t stop kissing. Neither of them were terribly patient, it appeared, and Tony’s excited chatter might have kept them from sullying the cab on their ride over to the nicest building Steve had ever seen, but all bets were off once the elevator closed.

They stumbled into Tony’s apartment, still attached at the lips. Steve had enough wits about him to observe that it was a studio, but one that probably cost more than most folks’ entire houses. The bed in the corner looked like a literal mound of heaven, but if Tony’s hands didn’t stop wandering, they weren’t going to make it.

Steve gasped when they ran roughly over his chest and plowed through to his shoulders so Tony could mumble ‘Off!’ while relieving Steve of his coat. The garment slipped off to pool at their feet and Tony inhaled sharply.

Suddenly holding Steve at arm’s length, he tilted his head and drunkenly declared. “You’re tiny!”

Steve instinctively flinched, but before he could draw away, Tony swooped in for what he’d later dub the hug-and-fly technique and try to accost Steve with it at least thrice before the night was over.

“Hey, careful!” Steve yelped as soon as he got over the shock of being picked up and whirled around like a Disney princess. “My jacket—Tonyyyy!”

Tony giggled dizzily and leaned up for another messy kiss. “I’ll buy you another.”

“Not in time, you won’t,” Steve squirmed until Tony unlocked his hands and put him down. “My inhaler’s in there.”

“Oh,” Tony moaned more than spoke, then his eyes flew open and he scurried a few steps back from Steve’s reaching fingers. “Uh, are you going to be ok?”

“I’ll be fine,” Steve replied, moving his poor, vulnerable jacket to safer ground. “It’s just for emergencies. Trust me, it takes a lot for me to lose my breath these days.”

“Oh?” Tony casually grabbed the collar of his own t-shirt and pulled the whole thing off in one fluid motion so he was both, exposed and artfully disheveled.

Steve’s breath caught instantly and very audibly.

“You were saying…?” Tony teased, eyes glimmering.

Steve swallowed. “Well, there are exceptions.”

Steve barely makes it out of Stark Industries imposing headquarters before a familiar tightness in his chest fairly warns him to take a break. Even so, he stubbornly marches to the farthest end of the building block before seeking refuge in an empty bus shelter. Because why give Howard the satisfaction of seeing him keel over from an asthma attack on Stark property when a narrow bench and an illuminated ad for Vibranium brand condoms would do just fine?

Once there, Steve lets his portfolio slide to the ground and shoves one hand into his pocket to feel for his inhaler. When it comes up empty, he sternly wills himself not to panic. Panicking only made things worse, but it becomes hard to remain calm when the other pocket is also empty and he can’t even remember if he’d bought along a spare—

“Hey!” a familiar voice calls out.

Tony barrels into the bus shelter just in time to see Steve’s best impression of a goldfish out of water. Luckily, he’s also brandishing Steve’s rescue inhaler.

“I thought it was you,” Tony looks triumphant. “You left this behind and I remembered you…Jesus, Steve!”

The gist of what Steve remembers after is the familiar woodsy smell of Tony’s expensive cologne, a litany of anxious concern, and some awkward mishaps of someone new to dealing with medical emergencies. Happily, it ends with Tony shoving the uncapped inhaler between Steve’s shaking fingers and guiding it to his lips.  

Moments later, Steve counts his breaths while Tony settles down on the bench beside him to rub his back, unasked. Warmth blooms over his spine in slow circles, moves up to his shoulders, and drapes pleasantly over the nape of his neck. Ultimately, however, it’s knowing that Tony is there, safe, beside him that unravels the tightness in Steve’s chest until it’s a distant memory.

Steve shivers when Tony turns and kisses his shoulder. For a moment, everything feels right with the world. Like most good things, it’s fleeting.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says roughly. A moment passes, not awkward, but light with gladness at being together again. “I didn’t want to leave you there.”

“Yeah? ‘Cause you missed the look on Howard’s face,” Tony counters mildly, then chuckles. “Back when you were all ‘But let me know when you catch up’...” He raises his chin and brassily snaps his fingers in cartoonish imitation of Steve telling off his father. “I thought he was going to burst a vein, and then you marched, marched, out that door like James fucking Bond?!”

“You,” Tony breathes wondrously, eyes twinkling as he points leisurely nudges Steve with his shoulder. “are a badass, Steve the artist. And, I’m just gonna come out and say it: that was the most awesome thing anyone’s done for me.”

Steve tries and fails to match Tony’s earnest smile. The disquiet he felt in Howard’s office lingers still, even as he clasps Tony's hand hovering on his chest. Steve focuses on the pliable warmth of it, on the delicate bones and rough callouses, because if he doesn’t, he’ll get angry all over again.

“I don’t mean to make things difficult,” he starts.

“Difficult?” Tony echoes, with a frown that only grows more curious when Steve cups the side of his face.

“Tony, are you...I’m just…” Steve falters, unsure, and frustrated with himself for it. How do you ask someone if their parent was the hitting kind? In the end, he decides on plain words. Tony is too important to him to dance around this subject. “Is he going to hurt you?”

Tony’s eyes lift in surprise, then grow affectionately soft. He leans forward to brush his lips against Steve’s and says, "No, he won’t. I mean, I won’t lie—he’s pissed off after being yelled at by what he considers ‘the help’,” Once again, Tony teeters on the verge of laughter before growing sober. “But he’s not gonna hit me."

It doesn’t put all of Steve’s monumental worries to rest, but it’s something. Scooting closer on the bench, he pulls Tony into a hug and unhappily rests his chin on soft, dark hair. He also tightens his arms, squeezing Tony tightly as if to say: if you need me, I’ll be there.

For his part, Tony sidles up contentedly, his breath whooshing warmly along Steve’s collarbones. The sound of his organic circuitry blends with the white noise of the city at midmorning, and with each moment that passes, Steve only grows more unwilling to part.

“Keep your phone on,” Tony mumbles eventually. “Mom gets final say anyway, and I know she’ll want you.”

Steve finds himself smiling at how comfortable ‘Mom’ sounds on Tony’s tongue. “You sound so sure.”

Tony pulls away slightly, and looks up at Steve with mild reproach. “You saying I don’t know my own mother, Rogers?”

Steve taps a kiss on his forehead. “I wouldn’t dare.”

“Hmph,” Tony rolls his eyes, but slips back into their embrace.

“Still on for dinner?” Steve asks after they’ve luxuriated in each other for a few moments more. “I could use someone to celebrate my new job with.”

Tony nods. “Wear something nice,” he says. “Something form fitting. I want to try our—shh, too late, it’s our move now—hug-and-fly again.”

Steve sighs.

[adambstingus]

24 HILARIOUS Times People Rage Quit Their Job The Way Everyone’s Wanted To

1. Does His Best By Quitting

17, hole in the wall popular non-chain fast food place. Worked 3 to 11.

A Friday. We needed a MINIMUM of 4 people to run the place. And that’s with everything getting totally trashed. 6-7 people was really what was needed.

Nobody showed up but me. Previous shift went home.Called the manager. No answer. Called the owner. ‘Just do the best you can’.

Turned off the lights, locked the door, put a sticky note on it that said ‘I quit’. And went home.

I did the best I could.

theawesomethatis

2. Quitting By Proxy

I knew a guy in high school who hated working at a movie theater. Called his boss and told him he wasn’t feeling well because he went hiking, got swarmed by bats, and got bit by one. Shows up later that evening to watch a movie with a cape and fake fangs in his mouth. Fired on the spot.

RIPmyFartbox

3. Last Day Making Pizzas

I used to work at a place that rhymes with “Pizza Hut” and the managers there were real cheapskates.

There was this nice old man that would come in every Sunday and order a triple extra cheese pizza and while they charged him for the 3x cheese, they would forbid us from ever actually putting that much cheese on a pizza because apparently cheese in the pizza selling world is akin to gold.

So instead of 3x extra cheese he would really be getting what the instructions would qualify as barely enough for a regular cheese pizza.

On the day my 2 weeks notice ended the old guy just happened to be my last order so I went into the walk-in and grabbed an entire box of cheese, proceeded to dump the entire thing onto his pizza and tossed it into oven. It was stacked so high that it couldn’t even fit into it and half of it was scraped off.

Anyways, the look on the old guy’s face when he saw me do this made it all worth it (imagine pure excitement). Needless to say I didn’t put the correct phone number down for future job references.

Not_A_Doctor_Venture

4. Popcorn And VHS

There was a UPS strike in the 90s and I was employed by them in high school as a sorter. Blockbuster Video at the time had this mail order deal where you’d get a VHS tape and bags of popcorn. Like a proto-Netflix thing I guess. Anyway, all these boxes full of microwave popcorn and VHS tapes would slide down the belt and about half of the popcorn bags would explode or break. After about an hour there was popcorn dust all over. I asked my boss for a mask, and he said that they didn’t have any. Some of the drivers walked by wearing masks, and I followed them and found a full cabinet full of masks. I confronted my boss, and he was like “the masks are for drivers, only”.

So I went back to the sorting area and just stopped working. I just stood there. The belts were backing up with these boxes of popcorn and they would burst and clouds of powdered popcorn butter would fill the air. I waited about 45 minutes before the belt shut off.

I walked out through a haze of popcorn dust, with alarms blaring, people running everywhere trying to figure out what was going on. A lot of people didn’t get their VHS tapes that week.

rikers_evil_twin

5.A “Certain” Coffee Chain

My wife worked for a certain chain coffee shop a few years back. She got another job, so requested reduced hours. This didn’t happen for 3 straight weeks.

During that third week, she had a soccer mom from hell try to get her attention, by throwing fucking snowballs at her through the drive-thru window. My wife then stopped what she was doing and tossed this soccer mom’s iced tea at her (which exploded everywhere) and slammed the window.

5 minutes later she had written her letter of resignation, with the only things she could find: a purple crayon and a sticky note.

The_MonBear

6. A Race To Quit First

Worked as a teller at a bank for a few years, GM and supervisor were both kind of crappy in their own ways. My buddy there was also a teller who felt similarly and wanted to get out. We started applying to places and both got interviews at the same company. As luck would have it, we both got hired and got phone calls about 10 minutes apart.

There was only one other teller aside from us and when it got busy, supervisor usually had to jump in as well (and usually hated it). It felt like we were constantly short staffed and days when 1 person would call out sick or be on vacation would suck. Being down 2 people was the worst.

Naturally when we both got hired, it became a race to see who could turn in their two weeks notice first. He printed his off and raced into GM’s office, walking out with a big smile. GM calls me in and offers me full time hours (after I had been requesting them for months).

I jumped in saying “Let me stop you right there, I’m also turning in my two weeks notice.”

Remembering that look of disbelief will make me smile every time. A solid professional Eff You is just as enjoyable to me as going out with a bang.

spikey182

7. Middle Management At Its Dumbest

Wrote a normal letter of resignation before I got in the shower one morning. No big deal. Got into the office and was straight ignored by management. Oh well, told you when my last day was.

Fast forward 3 days they pull me into a conference room to ask what it would take to keep me. I say nothing but don’t want to ruin them (sole IT manager for a staff of 70) and would be willing to consult part time. They liked that idea and said they’d be willing to pay me my current hourly as a consultant. I was prepared for this and told them that wasn’t what I said. I said that i would consult and my consulting rate was $200/hr. They were flabbergasted and insulted (I was making about $18/hr salary).

They thought it was insane even though they’d pay a consulting firm $600/hr when I was on vacation. Needless to say, having planned to quit it was no skin off my back and laughed about it. They didn’t take kindly to me laughing about their anger and told me to pack my shit. I did so, got an extra 10 days vacation paid out of it.

Cypher1710

8. AM Country Gold

1992: I was 19 and working at the most pissant radio station imaginable, “AM Country Gold”. The notoriously cheap, abusive and dishonest owner, a fella named “Wes,” had just screwed me out of a promised bonus. It was the latest in a long line of dishonest acts and I had had enough.

The rest of the sales team was afraid to stand up to Wes and he screamed abuse at them constantly (except the lone woman, who he sexually harassed). They were all in their 30’s & 40’s, working the same garbage job I was, but desperately needed it. I did not. So I engaged in a very public shouting match with Wes in the lobby, saying all the things everyone there had always wanted to say. Then I swept the contents of the front desk onto the floor and stormed out.

Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, “Hey y’all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, “Take this Job and Shove It,” and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes!”

The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was “the” Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, “This one is for you Wes, choke on it you sack of crap!”

The building had speakers inside and out constantly playing the radio feed, so I got to hear Wes get clowned by his own radio station before driving off into the sunset.

LAND0KARDASHIAN

9. Over The P.A. System

Someone at my previous workplace (a huge grocery store in a large mall) went to the PA system we use to issue messages to the whole mall, and said something along the lines of “dear customers, managers and co-workers. I fucking quit”, and then proceeded to leave.

Focie

10. The Family Business

I used to work for my Father. It was probably the worst time of my life. He treated me like absolute shit, paid me very poorly, and made me work 70+ hours a week. I was young, just out of high school, and I complained about my predicament quite a lot. His response was always “if you don’t like it, there’s the door.”

6 months before I quit, he made me run his night shift, which meant 6PM -6:30AM Monday through Saturday. I was very unhappy about this, so I applied for another job. I got it, and went to my Father’s office with a list of demands, he responded with his usual reply, so I said, “Alright, I’ve gotten a job offer somewhere else, fuck you, I quit.”

The look on his face was priceless. He truly believed that because I had amazing job security that I’d be willing to put up with anything and that I’d stay there for my entire career. In one short, sweet instant, I proved to him that this was not the case, and he lost his most valuable employee.

The icing on the cake was the fact that the job that I left him for is at the company that manufactures the very machinery and software he relies on in business. So any time something goes wrong in his factory, he has to call me to fix it for him.

Your_Lower_Back

11. Using A Hidden Code

I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they’ve taught me.

The first letter of every sentence spelled out “Fuck <boss>”.

Nobody noticed.

InternetSpaceship

12. The Price You Have To Pay

I went up to HR to give my two weeks’ notice GTFO but before I could even get a word out, the HR lady flapped her hand at me and told me to come back in an hour because she was going on lunch. So I wrote “I QUIT!” on a piece of paper, signed and dated it, and left it on her desk.

She called me later to let me know that since I didn’t give two weeks’ notice, I would never be eligible to work for Kaufmann’s or Macy’s ever again. I told her I’d just have to live with that.

thebloodofthematador

13. “I Can’t Do This Anymore”

Worked in a video store when there was such a thing. My co-worker showed up very, very high. He was also about 6’3″ and 140 pounds, so he stood out in a crowd to begin with. Anyway, he came in for a 4 hour shift, stood in the middle of our bank of checkout registers…and just ate chips. Like, 6 bags of chips back to back, and he ate them SLOW, and savored the shit out of each bite. The whole time he had zero facial expression, think of the dull stare of a chewing dairy cow.

After about 3 hours he calmly turns to me and says “I can’t do this anymore”…gently sets down his bag of chips, and walks out the door. We never saw him in the store again.

Leumas_

14. A Total Mutiny

First job when i was 15 for a discount clothing brand store. Head manager was the aunt of our store manager who was 19. Our store manager did nothing most of the time and used to chat to her boyfriend and friends loudly on the store phone…much to the annoyance of everybody.

One night its come closing, we are grabbing our coats and getting ready to leave after a really busy day and the store manager storms in, telling us how she’s lowered the shutters and wont let us leave until we have helped her finish the one job she had all day to do cos her aunt is doing a “surprise” inspection in the morning. Everyone is pissed, especially the people who have had to watch her do literally nothing all day. She turns spiteful, threatening to delay our pays, dock our wages etc etc. All bullshit. For one woman it was the last straw (she had a kid to pick up from a club) so she waited till she left us alone to work, walked up to the shutters and pulled them up manually by hand. All of us crawled out to freedom.

We left her a note saying “Good luck explaining to your aunt why four people just quit.”

Cactusface987

15. Held Hostage

I was working for Argos as a Christmas job while studying. After a while it was becoming too much as I had to stay in work until deliveries were unpacked; this meant that some days I was leaving for college at 8.30am and not getting home until 1am that night.

One night it was a particularly large delivery and it was getting very late with no end in sight. I decided I’d had enough and told the supervisor I was finished, didn’t want to do the job anymore and wanted to go home. He rejected this and said that I was going nowhere until the delivery was unpacked. I stood in front of him and repeated that I quit therefore I don’t care about the delivery, completing my studies was more important to me than earning a bit of extra cash. He still said I was going nowhere and refused to unlock the door to let me out.

Despite feeling I had a case for false imprisonment I decided to take matters in to my own hands; I ran out the fire escape door and down the street never to return. I’ll always remember the sound of the fire escape door making a big DOOONG as it hit the metal railings and I made my escape to freedom.

StreakyMcMeeky

16. Burning Bridges With Jet Fuel

I worked for a law firm doing research and analysis. I wrote a custom program, on my own time, that would automate editing down these huge lists we’d get from an outside vendor, boiling it down to only what we wanted. First, only my team used the code. By the time I left, over 150 people were using it. Sounds minimal but it was actual a huge time saver. The program would boil down a list ~100 pages long down to about ~10 pages; a process we used to do manually a couple times a day.

A layoff was announced, I was part of the outplacement, but the firm wanted to continue using my program. I asked if there would be compensation as it was coded on my own time, never paid for it, etc. I was told no and “besides, there’s really nothing keeping us from still using it when you’re gone.”

For the remainder of my time (2 years), I would create patches whenever the format of the data changed. With my last patch, I put in code that would disable the program and erase key parts of the program one month after my last day. From what I understand from people still with the firm, on day X everyone came in, booted their machines, and the program was simply gone. Efficiency fell through the floor, delaying opening cases, billing clients, etc. I wanted 10k, they lost more than that in the first week without the program.

Photog1981

17. A Parting Gift To Her Co-Workers

During my exit interview I told HR the real reason I was leaving was due to the quality of the office chairs. I said they were an eyesore, uncomfortable and made me ashamed to come to work and resulted in sub-par job satisfaction.

Two weeks later I was told by previous co-workers everyone got brand new, top of the line office chairs.

jphiz

18. Don’t Piss Off Your Only Cook

At 16 I worked at a Dairy Queen Brazier in Texas. My Manager, was a jerk. One night, I sliced a good chunk of my thumb off because they did not have the proper safety equipment. After being out of work for 3 weeks, I returned to work. My thumb was still pretty screwed up, but I was trying. My Manager kept riding my ass, telling me I had to move faster (I was the only short order cook). When I saw three GreyHound buses pull up, I knew I was in trouble. She came back into the kitchen and said if I didn’t move fast for these buses she’d find someone who would. That was the last straw – I knew no one in the entire restaurant could cook. So I took her up on her threat and simply walked out the back door. She flipped me off as I drove away. My friends told me they hardly got any orders out and the buses left since they couldn’t get the food out. I felt bad for the people on the buses, but was sick of being berated by management.

sunrein

19. Out The Window

I got this.

Worked as a teen for McDonald’s for a month or two during the winter in the 90’s. We were understaffed and they usually had me working the deep sink and taking money at the drive thru. One day I come in at 4pm and the breakfast stuff is pilled to the ceiling at the sink because the day shift rolled out without taking care of it, as per usual.

There was a snowstorm this particular day and with the amount of dishes to do and the increasing frequency of running over and taking money from the window during the dinner rush my hands were beginning to hurt, then going completely numb. I let the manager know this wasn’t working out today and get blown off.

Fuck it, I crawl straight the fuck out of the money window without anyone noticing, at least no one on the staff. I get in my car and drive to the parking lot across the street and watch that dinner rush drive thru line back up out of the lot and down the street.

Seadgs

20. “I Don’t Want To Hear This”

I used to work for a telecommunications company.

My mom was very sick over the last 3 months of her life, so I had to go home most weekends to see her, it’s a 6 hour journey to get from where I worked to the town where I’m from. When her birthday came around, I requested a couple of days off that I had saved for this specific occasion. Yet, the days off were denied because we were approaching a busy time of year for sales. At this point, I hadn’t mentioned what was happening at home, because well, I was always taught that you keep your work and personal lives separate. But I said it to my boss, who, at the time, I saw as a pretty compassionate person. She never took any issue when I got sick or was late for whatever reason. But when I told her, she just looked at me point blank and said “I don’t want to hear this”.

After that meeting, I went back to my desk and sat there for about 20 minutes, thinking of a solution. That solution was to get my things, and just leave. I said goodbye to my friends on my way out, flipped my boss off and just walked out. I went straight to my car and drove back to my home town that night. It was the best decision I ever made.

I got to spend all my time with my mom before she went. We even got to go on a vacation and spend one last week away together because I had the time to do so. I’ll never, ever regret walking out that day.

Not exactly “hilarious”, but I had a good chuckle to myself on that drive home. The look on my boss’s face will never leave me. It was sweet.

IThinkIAmASofa

21. Work Night Turns Into Movie And A Beer

Worked in the cinema as a teenager. Came in late for work after they changed my schedule during my days off and didn’t think to mention it to me. Boss lost it and started shouting at me, as far as I’m concerned if you need to shout I ain’t listening. So let her rant away for a good 15 mins while I was at my locker clearing it out. When it finally clicked that I wasn’t listening or getting ready to work she stopped and asked what I’m doing I said ”going to see Lord of the Rings with the lads who’ve just finished as I’m doing nothing else with my evening. May go for a pint after. What’s your plans?”

definitelynotme_

22. Best Sales Day On His Last Day

I managed to find a telemarketing job as one of my first jobs. It sucked and we were treated like animals, but it was close enough that I could walk there from home. I only intended to stay long enough to afford a car.

One day, I realized that I had reached my set dollar amount for a car purchase. As a joke, I strayed as far from the sales pitch as possible. I changed my greeting to things like “Hey.” or “‘Sup?” I impersonated celebrity voices. People stopped working around me. They just listened in shock.

But it completely backfired.

It was my highest day of sales ever. I sold 10 times my average. The pit boss was bewildered, which is why I wasn’t fired right away (he listened in on all my calls that day). He begged me to stay, but I was out.

ShrugCorporation

23. Fighting The System By Using The System

My boss was a cunt, had me on a disciplinary for something that wasn’t my fault, and had my bonus taken off me. So i found a new job, threw out 2,500 worth of stock as technically the food hadn’t been stored away correctly, went above my boss and got head offices backing, then handed my notice in, knowing that id fucked his bonus up to. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

ssuperhanzz

24. This One Will Renew Your Faith In Humanity

My job at Chick-Fil-A had a tradition of pieing people in the face on their last day. Now I was the manager and didn’t trust the kids not to pie me when taking a complaint or during a rush or something, so I promised them if they’d wait until close in the parking lot, and if they got done cleaning on time, we’d do something special.

So I present to you: The Pie Gauntlet

I love my Chick-Fil-A family. Thanks for a great last closing. After 4 years of giving out my fair share of “Last Day Surprise Pies” we hosted THE GAUNTLET. Love and miss you guys.

A video posted by Alex Bennett (@spideybennett) on Jul 9, 2015 at 7:42pm PDT

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/30/24-hilarious-times-people-rage-quit-their-job-the-way-everyones-wanted-to/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/168027990232

[samanthasroberts]

24 HILARIOUS Times People Rage Quit Their Job The Way Everyone’s Wanted To

1. Does His Best By Quitting

17, hole in the wall popular non-chain fast food place. Worked 3 to 11.

A Friday. We needed a MINIMUM of 4 people to run the place. And that’s with everything getting totally trashed. 6-7 people was really what was needed.

Nobody showed up but me. Previous shift went home.Called the manager. No answer. Called the owner. ‘Just do the best you can’.

Turned off the lights, locked the door, put a sticky note on it that said ‘I quit’. And went home.

I did the best I could.

theawesomethatis

2. Quitting By Proxy

I knew a guy in high school who hated working at a movie theater. Called his boss and told him he wasn’t feeling well because he went hiking, got swarmed by bats, and got bit by one. Shows up later that evening to watch a movie with a cape and fake fangs in his mouth. Fired on the spot.

RIPmyFartbox

3. Last Day Making Pizzas

I used to work at a place that rhymes with “Pizza Hut” and the managers there were real cheapskates.

There was this nice old man that would come in every Sunday and order a triple extra cheese pizza and while they charged him for the 3x cheese, they would forbid us from ever actually putting that much cheese on a pizza because apparently cheese in the pizza selling world is akin to gold.

So instead of 3x extra cheese he would really be getting what the instructions would qualify as barely enough for a regular cheese pizza.

On the day my 2 weeks notice ended the old guy just happened to be my last order so I went into the walk-in and grabbed an entire box of cheese, proceeded to dump the entire thing onto his pizza and tossed it into oven. It was stacked so high that it couldn’t even fit into it and half of it was scraped off.

Anyways, the look on the old guy’s face when he saw me do this made it all worth it (imagine pure excitement). Needless to say I didn’t put the correct phone number down for future job references.

Not_A_Doctor_Venture

4. Popcorn And VHS

There was a UPS strike in the 90s and I was employed by them in high school as a sorter. Blockbuster Video at the time had this mail order deal where you’d get a VHS tape and bags of popcorn. Like a proto-Netflix thing I guess. Anyway, all these boxes full of microwave popcorn and VHS tapes would slide down the belt and about half of the popcorn bags would explode or break. After about an hour there was popcorn dust all over. I asked my boss for a mask, and he said that they didn’t have any. Some of the drivers walked by wearing masks, and I followed them and found a full cabinet full of masks. I confronted my boss, and he was like “the masks are for drivers, only”.

So I went back to the sorting area and just stopped working. I just stood there. The belts were backing up with these boxes of popcorn and they would burst and clouds of powdered popcorn butter would fill the air. I waited about 45 minutes before the belt shut off.

I walked out through a haze of popcorn dust, with alarms blaring, people running everywhere trying to figure out what was going on. A lot of people didn’t get their VHS tapes that week.

rikers_evil_twin

5.A “Certain” Coffee Chain

My wife worked for a certain chain coffee shop a few years back. She got another job, so requested reduced hours. This didn’t happen for 3 straight weeks.

During that third week, she had a soccer mom from hell try to get her attention, by throwing fucking snowballs at her through the drive-thru window. My wife then stopped what she was doing and tossed this soccer mom’s iced tea at her (which exploded everywhere) and slammed the window.

5 minutes later she had written her letter of resignation, with the only things she could find: a purple crayon and a sticky note.

The_MonBear

6. A Race To Quit First

Worked as a teller at a bank for a few years, GM and supervisor were both kind of crappy in their own ways. My buddy there was also a teller who felt similarly and wanted to get out. We started applying to places and both got interviews at the same company. As luck would have it, we both got hired and got phone calls about 10 minutes apart.

There was only one other teller aside from us and when it got busy, supervisor usually had to jump in as well (and usually hated it). It felt like we were constantly short staffed and days when 1 person would call out sick or be on vacation would suck. Being down 2 people was the worst.

Naturally when we both got hired, it became a race to see who could turn in their two weeks notice first. He printed his off and raced into GM’s office, walking out with a big smile. GM calls me in and offers me full time hours (after I had been requesting them for months).

I jumped in saying “Let me stop you right there, I’m also turning in my two weeks notice.”

Remembering that look of disbelief will make me smile every time. A solid professional Eff You is just as enjoyable to me as going out with a bang.

spikey182

7. Middle Management At Its Dumbest

Wrote a normal letter of resignation before I got in the shower one morning. No big deal. Got into the office and was straight ignored by management. Oh well, told you when my last day was.

Fast forward 3 days they pull me into a conference room to ask what it would take to keep me. I say nothing but don’t want to ruin them (sole IT manager for a staff of 70) and would be willing to consult part time. They liked that idea and said they’d be willing to pay me my current hourly as a consultant. I was prepared for this and told them that wasn’t what I said. I said that i would consult and my consulting rate was $200/hr. They were flabbergasted and insulted (I was making about $18/hr salary).

They thought it was insane even though they’d pay a consulting firm $600/hr when I was on vacation. Needless to say, having planned to quit it was no skin off my back and laughed about it. They didn’t take kindly to me laughing about their anger and told me to pack my shit. I did so, got an extra 10 days vacation paid out of it.

Cypher1710

8. AM Country Gold

1992: I was 19 and working at the most pissant radio station imaginable, “AM Country Gold”. The notoriously cheap, abusive and dishonest owner, a fella named “Wes,” had just screwed me out of a promised bonus. It was the latest in a long line of dishonest acts and I had had enough.

The rest of the sales team was afraid to stand up to Wes and he screamed abuse at them constantly (except the lone woman, who he sexually harassed). They were all in their 30’s & 40’s, working the same garbage job I was, but desperately needed it. I did not. So I engaged in a very public shouting match with Wes in the lobby, saying all the things everyone there had always wanted to say. Then I swept the contents of the front desk onto the floor and stormed out.

Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, “Hey y’all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, “Take this Job and Shove It,” and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes!”

The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was “the” Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, “This one is for you Wes, choke on it you sack of crap!”

The building had speakers inside and out constantly playing the radio feed, so I got to hear Wes get clowned by his own radio station before driving off into the sunset.

LAND0KARDASHIAN

9. Over The P.A. System

Someone at my previous workplace (a huge grocery store in a large mall) went to the PA system we use to issue messages to the whole mall, and said something along the lines of “dear customers, managers and co-workers. I fucking quit”, and then proceeded to leave.

Focie

10. The Family Business

I used to work for my Father. It was probably the worst time of my life. He treated me like absolute shit, paid me very poorly, and made me work 70+ hours a week. I was young, just out of high school, and I complained about my predicament quite a lot. His response was always “if you don’t like it, there’s the door.”

6 months before I quit, he made me run his night shift, which meant 6PM -6:30AM Monday through Saturday. I was very unhappy about this, so I applied for another job. I got it, and went to my Father’s office with a list of demands, he responded with his usual reply, so I said, “Alright, I’ve gotten a job offer somewhere else, fuck you, I quit.”

The look on his face was priceless. He truly believed that because I had amazing job security that I’d be willing to put up with anything and that I’d stay there for my entire career. In one short, sweet instant, I proved to him that this was not the case, and he lost his most valuable employee.

The icing on the cake was the fact that the job that I left him for is at the company that manufactures the very machinery and software he relies on in business. So any time something goes wrong in his factory, he has to call me to fix it for him.

Your_Lower_Back

11. Using A Hidden Code

I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they’ve taught me.

The first letter of every sentence spelled out “Fuck <boss>”.

Nobody noticed.

InternetSpaceship

12. The Price You Have To Pay

I went up to HR to give my two weeks’ notice GTFO but before I could even get a word out, the HR lady flapped her hand at me and told me to come back in an hour because she was going on lunch. So I wrote “I QUIT!” on a piece of paper, signed and dated it, and left it on her desk.

She called me later to let me know that since I didn’t give two weeks’ notice, I would never be eligible to work for Kaufmann’s or Macy’s ever again. I told her I’d just have to live with that.

thebloodofthematador

13. “I Can’t Do This Anymore”

Worked in a video store when there was such a thing. My co-worker showed up very, very high. He was also about 6’3″ and 140 pounds, so he stood out in a crowd to begin with. Anyway, he came in for a 4 hour shift, stood in the middle of our bank of checkout registers…and just ate chips. Like, 6 bags of chips back to back, and he ate them SLOW, and savored the shit out of each bite. The whole time he had zero facial expression, think of the dull stare of a chewing dairy cow.

After about 3 hours he calmly turns to me and says “I can’t do this anymore”…gently sets down his bag of chips, and walks out the door. We never saw him in the store again.

Leumas_

14. A Total Mutiny

First job when i was 15 for a discount clothing brand store. Head manager was the aunt of our store manager who was 19. Our store manager did nothing most of the time and used to chat to her boyfriend and friends loudly on the store phone…much to the annoyance of everybody.

One night its come closing, we are grabbing our coats and getting ready to leave after a really busy day and the store manager storms in, telling us how she’s lowered the shutters and wont let us leave until we have helped her finish the one job she had all day to do cos her aunt is doing a “surprise” inspection in the morning. Everyone is pissed, especially the people who have had to watch her do literally nothing all day. She turns spiteful, threatening to delay our pays, dock our wages etc etc. All bullshit. For one woman it was the last straw (she had a kid to pick up from a club) so she waited till she left us alone to work, walked up to the shutters and pulled them up manually by hand. All of us crawled out to freedom.

We left her a note saying “Good luck explaining to your aunt why four people just quit.”

Cactusface987

15. Held Hostage

I was working for Argos as a Christmas job while studying. After a while it was becoming too much as I had to stay in work until deliveries were unpacked; this meant that some days I was leaving for college at 8.30am and not getting home until 1am that night.

One night it was a particularly large delivery and it was getting very late with no end in sight. I decided I’d had enough and told the supervisor I was finished, didn’t want to do the job anymore and wanted to go home. He rejected this and said that I was going nowhere until the delivery was unpacked. I stood in front of him and repeated that I quit therefore I don’t care about the delivery, completing my studies was more important to me than earning a bit of extra cash. He still said I was going nowhere and refused to unlock the door to let me out.

Despite feeling I had a case for false imprisonment I decided to take matters in to my own hands; I ran out the fire escape door and down the street never to return. I’ll always remember the sound of the fire escape door making a big DOOONG as it hit the metal railings and I made my escape to freedom.

StreakyMcMeeky

16. Burning Bridges With Jet Fuel

I worked for a law firm doing research and analysis. I wrote a custom program, on my own time, that would automate editing down these huge lists we’d get from an outside vendor, boiling it down to only what we wanted. First, only my team used the code. By the time I left, over 150 people were using it. Sounds minimal but it was actual a huge time saver. The program would boil down a list ~100 pages long down to about ~10 pages; a process we used to do manually a couple times a day.

A layoff was announced, I was part of the outplacement, but the firm wanted to continue using my program. I asked if there would be compensation as it was coded on my own time, never paid for it, etc. I was told no and “besides, there’s really nothing keeping us from still using it when you’re gone.”

For the remainder of my time (2 years), I would create patches whenever the format of the data changed. With my last patch, I put in code that would disable the program and erase key parts of the program one month after my last day. From what I understand from people still with the firm, on day X everyone came in, booted their machines, and the program was simply gone. Efficiency fell through the floor, delaying opening cases, billing clients, etc. I wanted 10k, they lost more than that in the first week without the program.

Photog1981

17. A Parting Gift To Her Co-Workers

During my exit interview I told HR the real reason I was leaving was due to the quality of the office chairs. I said they were an eyesore, uncomfortable and made me ashamed to come to work and resulted in sub-par job satisfaction.

Two weeks later I was told by previous co-workers everyone got brand new, top of the line office chairs.

jphiz

18. Don’t Piss Off Your Only Cook

At 16 I worked at a Dairy Queen Brazier in Texas. My Manager, was a jerk. One night, I sliced a good chunk of my thumb off because they did not have the proper safety equipment. After being out of work for 3 weeks, I returned to work. My thumb was still pretty screwed up, but I was trying. My Manager kept riding my ass, telling me I had to move faster (I was the only short order cook). When I saw three GreyHound buses pull up, I knew I was in trouble. She came back into the kitchen and said if I didn’t move fast for these buses she’d find someone who would. That was the last straw – I knew no one in the entire restaurant could cook. So I took her up on her threat and simply walked out the back door. She flipped me off as I drove away. My friends told me they hardly got any orders out and the buses left since they couldn’t get the food out. I felt bad for the people on the buses, but was sick of being berated by management.

sunrein

19. Out The Window

I got this.

Worked as a teen for McDonald’s for a month or two during the winter in the 90’s. We were understaffed and they usually had me working the deep sink and taking money at the drive thru. One day I come in at 4pm and the breakfast stuff is pilled to the ceiling at the sink because the day shift rolled out without taking care of it, as per usual.

There was a snowstorm this particular day and with the amount of dishes to do and the increasing frequency of running over and taking money from the window during the dinner rush my hands were beginning to hurt, then going completely numb. I let the manager know this wasn’t working out today and get blown off.

Fuck it, I crawl straight the fuck out of the money window without anyone noticing, at least no one on the staff. I get in my car and drive to the parking lot across the street and watch that dinner rush drive thru line back up out of the lot and down the street.

Seadgs

20. “I Don’t Want To Hear This”

I used to work for a telecommunications company.

My mom was very sick over the last 3 months of her life, so I had to go home most weekends to see her, it’s a 6 hour journey to get from where I worked to the town where I’m from. When her birthday came around, I requested a couple of days off that I had saved for this specific occasion. Yet, the days off were denied because we were approaching a busy time of year for sales. At this point, I hadn’t mentioned what was happening at home, because well, I was always taught that you keep your work and personal lives separate. But I said it to my boss, who, at the time, I saw as a pretty compassionate person. She never took any issue when I got sick or was late for whatever reason. But when I told her, she just looked at me point blank and said “I don’t want to hear this”.

After that meeting, I went back to my desk and sat there for about 20 minutes, thinking of a solution. That solution was to get my things, and just leave. I said goodbye to my friends on my way out, flipped my boss off and just walked out. I went straight to my car and drove back to my home town that night. It was the best decision I ever made.

I got to spend all my time with my mom before she went. We even got to go on a vacation and spend one last week away together because I had the time to do so. I’ll never, ever regret walking out that day.

Not exactly “hilarious”, but I had a good chuckle to myself on that drive home. The look on my boss’s face will never leave me. It was sweet.

IThinkIAmASofa

21. Work Night Turns Into Movie And A Beer

Worked in the cinema as a teenager. Came in late for work after they changed my schedule during my days off and didn’t think to mention it to me. Boss lost it and started shouting at me, as far as I’m concerned if you need to shout I ain’t listening. So let her rant away for a good 15 mins while I was at my locker clearing it out. When it finally clicked that I wasn’t listening or getting ready to work she stopped and asked what I’m doing I said ”going to see Lord of the Rings with the lads who’ve just finished as I’m doing nothing else with my evening. May go for a pint after. What’s your plans?”

definitelynotme_

22. Best Sales Day On His Last Day

I managed to find a telemarketing job as one of my first jobs. It sucked and we were treated like animals, but it was close enough that I could walk there from home. I only intended to stay long enough to afford a car.

One day, I realized that I had reached my set dollar amount for a car purchase. As a joke, I strayed as far from the sales pitch as possible. I changed my greeting to things like “Hey.” or “‘Sup?” I impersonated celebrity voices. People stopped working around me. They just listened in shock.

But it completely backfired.

It was my highest day of sales ever. I sold 10 times my average. The pit boss was bewildered, which is why I wasn’t fired right away (he listened in on all my calls that day). He begged me to stay, but I was out.

ShrugCorporation

23. Fighting The System By Using The System

My boss was a cunt, had me on a disciplinary for something that wasn’t my fault, and had my bonus taken off me. So i found a new job, threw out 2,500 worth of stock as technically the food hadn’t been stored away correctly, went above my boss and got head offices backing, then handed my notice in, knowing that id fucked his bonus up to. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

ssuperhanzz

24. This One Will Renew Your Faith In Humanity

My job at Chick-Fil-A had a tradition of pieing people in the face on their last day. Now I was the manager and didn’t trust the kids not to pie me when taking a complaint or during a rush or something, so I promised them if they’d wait until close in the parking lot, and if they got done cleaning on time, we’d do something special.

So I present to you: The Pie Gauntlet

I love my Chick-Fil-A family. Thanks for a great last closing. After 4 years of giving out my fair share of "Last Day Surprise Pies" we hosted THE GAUNTLET. Love and miss you guys.

A video posted by Alex Bennett (@spideybennett) on Jul 9, 2015 at 7:42pm PDT

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/30/24-hilarious-times-people-rage-quit-their-job-the-way-everyones-wanted-to/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/24-hilarious-times-people-rage-quit-their-job-the-way-everyones-wanted-to/

[allofbeercom]

24 HILARIOUS Times People Rage Quit Their Job The Way Everyone’s Wanted To

1. Does His Best By Quitting

17, hole in the wall popular non-chain fast food place. Worked 3 to 11.

A Friday. We needed a MINIMUM of 4 people to run the place. And that’s with everything getting totally trashed. 6-7 people was really what was needed.

Nobody showed up but me. Previous shift went home.Called the manager. No answer. Called the owner. ‘Just do the best you can’.

Turned off the lights, locked the door, put a sticky note on it that said ‘I quit’. And went home.

I did the best I could.

theawesomethatis

2. Quitting By Proxy

I knew a guy in high school who hated working at a movie theater. Called his boss and told him he wasn’t feeling well because he went hiking, got swarmed by bats, and got bit by one. Shows up later that evening to watch a movie with a cape and fake fangs in his mouth. Fired on the spot.

RIPmyFartbox

3. Last Day Making Pizzas

I used to work at a place that rhymes with “Pizza Hut” and the managers there were real cheapskates.

There was this nice old man that would come in every Sunday and order a triple extra cheese pizza and while they charged him for the 3x cheese, they would forbid us from ever actually putting that much cheese on a pizza because apparently cheese in the pizza selling world is akin to gold.

So instead of 3x extra cheese he would really be getting what the instructions would qualify as barely enough for a regular cheese pizza.

On the day my 2 weeks notice ended the old guy just happened to be my last order so I went into the walk-in and grabbed an entire box of cheese, proceeded to dump the entire thing onto his pizza and tossed it into oven. It was stacked so high that it couldn’t even fit into it and half of it was scraped off.

Anyways, the look on the old guy’s face when he saw me do this made it all worth it (imagine pure excitement). Needless to say I didn’t put the correct phone number down for future job references.

Not_A_Doctor_Venture

4. Popcorn And VHS

There was a UPS strike in the 90s and I was employed by them in high school as a sorter. Blockbuster Video at the time had this mail order deal where you’d get a VHS tape and bags of popcorn. Like a proto-Netflix thing I guess. Anyway, all these boxes full of microwave popcorn and VHS tapes would slide down the belt and about half of the popcorn bags would explode or break. After about an hour there was popcorn dust all over. I asked my boss for a mask, and he said that they didn’t have any. Some of the drivers walked by wearing masks, and I followed them and found a full cabinet full of masks. I confronted my boss, and he was like “the masks are for drivers, only”.

So I went back to the sorting area and just stopped working. I just stood there. The belts were backing up with these boxes of popcorn and they would burst and clouds of powdered popcorn butter would fill the air. I waited about 45 minutes before the belt shut off.

I walked out through a haze of popcorn dust, with alarms blaring, people running everywhere trying to figure out what was going on. A lot of people didn’t get their VHS tapes that week.

rikers_evil_twin

5.A “Certain” Coffee Chain

My wife worked for a certain chain coffee shop a few years back. She got another job, so requested reduced hours. This didn’t happen for 3 straight weeks.

During that third week, she had a soccer mom from hell try to get her attention, by throwing fucking snowballs at her through the drive-thru window. My wife then stopped what she was doing and tossed this soccer mom’s iced tea at her (which exploded everywhere) and slammed the window.

5 minutes later she had written her letter of resignation, with the only things she could find: a purple crayon and a sticky note.

The_MonBear

6. A Race To Quit First

Worked as a teller at a bank for a few years, GM and supervisor were both kind of crappy in their own ways. My buddy there was also a teller who felt similarly and wanted to get out. We started applying to places and both got interviews at the same company. As luck would have it, we both got hired and got phone calls about 10 minutes apart.

There was only one other teller aside from us and when it got busy, supervisor usually had to jump in as well (and usually hated it). It felt like we were constantly short staffed and days when 1 person would call out sick or be on vacation would suck. Being down 2 people was the worst.

Naturally when we both got hired, it became a race to see who could turn in their two weeks notice first. He printed his off and raced into GM’s office, walking out with a big smile. GM calls me in and offers me full time hours (after I had been requesting them for months).

I jumped in saying “Let me stop you right there, I’m also turning in my two weeks notice.”

Remembering that look of disbelief will make me smile every time. A solid professional Eff You is just as enjoyable to me as going out with a bang.

spikey182

7. Middle Management At Its Dumbest

Wrote a normal letter of resignation before I got in the shower one morning. No big deal. Got into the office and was straight ignored by management. Oh well, told you when my last day was.

Fast forward 3 days they pull me into a conference room to ask what it would take to keep me. I say nothing but don’t want to ruin them (sole IT manager for a staff of 70) and would be willing to consult part time. They liked that idea and said they’d be willing to pay me my current hourly as a consultant. I was prepared for this and told them that wasn’t what I said. I said that i would consult and my consulting rate was $200/hr. They were flabbergasted and insulted (I was making about $18/hr salary).

They thought it was insane even though they’d pay a consulting firm $600/hr when I was on vacation. Needless to say, having planned to quit it was no skin off my back and laughed about it. They didn’t take kindly to me laughing about their anger and told me to pack my shit. I did so, got an extra 10 days vacation paid out of it.

Cypher1710

8. AM Country Gold

1992: I was 19 and working at the most pissant radio station imaginable, “AM Country Gold”. The notoriously cheap, abusive and dishonest owner, a fella named “Wes,” had just screwed me out of a promised bonus. It was the latest in a long line of dishonest acts and I had had enough.

The rest of the sales team was afraid to stand up to Wes and he screamed abuse at them constantly (except the lone woman, who he sexually harassed). They were all in their 30’s & 40’s, working the same garbage job I was, but desperately needed it. I did not. So I engaged in a very public shouting match with Wes in the lobby, saying all the things everyone there had always wanted to say. Then I swept the contents of the front desk onto the floor and stormed out.

Instead of leaving, I went around the side of the building to a pay phone and called the radio station request line. In a fake Southern accent, I said, “Hey y’all, I just told my cheap, no good, lying piece of human garbage boss to go to hell. Play me out with, “Take this Job and Shove It,” and dedicate it to my former boss, Wes!”

The disc jockey had no idea what had just happened in the lobby, or that my Wes was “the” Wes, so he enthusiastically played my recorded dedication and added, “This one is for you Wes, choke on it you sack of crap!”

The building had speakers inside and out constantly playing the radio feed, so I got to hear Wes get clowned by his own radio station before driving off into the sunset.

LAND0KARDASHIAN

9. Over The P.A. System

Someone at my previous workplace (a huge grocery store in a large mall) went to the PA system we use to issue messages to the whole mall, and said something along the lines of “dear customers, managers and co-workers. I fucking quit”, and then proceeded to leave.

Focie

10. The Family Business

I used to work for my Father. It was probably the worst time of my life. He treated me like absolute shit, paid me very poorly, and made me work 70+ hours a week. I was young, just out of high school, and I complained about my predicament quite a lot. His response was always “if you don’t like it, there’s the door.”

6 months before I quit, he made me run his night shift, which meant 6PM -6:30AM Monday through Saturday. I was very unhappy about this, so I applied for another job. I got it, and went to my Father’s office with a list of demands, he responded with his usual reply, so I said, “Alright, I’ve gotten a job offer somewhere else, fuck you, I quit.”

The look on his face was priceless. He truly believed that because I had amazing job security that I’d be willing to put up with anything and that I’d stay there for my entire career. In one short, sweet instant, I proved to him that this was not the case, and he lost his most valuable employee.

The icing on the cake was the fact that the job that I left him for is at the company that manufactures the very machinery and software he relies on in business. So any time something goes wrong in his factory, he has to call me to fix it for him.

Your_Lower_Back

11. Using A Hidden Code

I wrote a respectful letter thanking them for the opportunity and all they’ve taught me.

The first letter of every sentence spelled out “Fuck <boss>”.

Nobody noticed.

InternetSpaceship

12. The Price You Have To Pay

I went up to HR to give my two weeks’ notice GTFO but before I could even get a word out, the HR lady flapped her hand at me and told me to come back in an hour because she was going on lunch. So I wrote “I QUIT!” on a piece of paper, signed and dated it, and left it on her desk.

She called me later to let me know that since I didn’t give two weeks’ notice, I would never be eligible to work for Kaufmann’s or Macy’s ever again. I told her I’d just have to live with that.

thebloodofthematador

13. “I Can’t Do This Anymore”

Worked in a video store when there was such a thing. My co-worker showed up very, very high. He was also about 6’3″ and 140 pounds, so he stood out in a crowd to begin with. Anyway, he came in for a 4 hour shift, stood in the middle of our bank of checkout registers…and just ate chips. Like, 6 bags of chips back to back, and he ate them SLOW, and savored the shit out of each bite. The whole time he had zero facial expression, think of the dull stare of a chewing dairy cow.

After about 3 hours he calmly turns to me and says “I can’t do this anymore”…gently sets down his bag of chips, and walks out the door. We never saw him in the store again.

Leumas_

14. A Total Mutiny

First job when i was 15 for a discount clothing brand store. Head manager was the aunt of our store manager who was 19. Our store manager did nothing most of the time and used to chat to her boyfriend and friends loudly on the store phone…much to the annoyance of everybody.

One night its come closing, we are grabbing our coats and getting ready to leave after a really busy day and the store manager storms in, telling us how she’s lowered the shutters and wont let us leave until we have helped her finish the one job she had all day to do cos her aunt is doing a “surprise” inspection in the morning. Everyone is pissed, especially the people who have had to watch her do literally nothing all day. She turns spiteful, threatening to delay our pays, dock our wages etc etc. All bullshit. For one woman it was the last straw (she had a kid to pick up from a club) so she waited till she left us alone to work, walked up to the shutters and pulled them up manually by hand. All of us crawled out to freedom.

We left her a note saying “Good luck explaining to your aunt why four people just quit.”

Cactusface987

15. Held Hostage

I was working for Argos as a Christmas job while studying. After a while it was becoming too much as I had to stay in work until deliveries were unpacked; this meant that some days I was leaving for college at 8.30am and not getting home until 1am that night.

One night it was a particularly large delivery and it was getting very late with no end in sight. I decided I’d had enough and told the supervisor I was finished, didn’t want to do the job anymore and wanted to go home. He rejected this and said that I was going nowhere until the delivery was unpacked. I stood in front of him and repeated that I quit therefore I don’t care about the delivery, completing my studies was more important to me than earning a bit of extra cash. He still said I was going nowhere and refused to unlock the door to let me out.

Despite feeling I had a case for false imprisonment I decided to take matters in to my own hands; I ran out the fire escape door and down the street never to return. I’ll always remember the sound of the fire escape door making a big DOOONG as it hit the metal railings and I made my escape to freedom.

StreakyMcMeeky

16. Burning Bridges With Jet Fuel

I worked for a law firm doing research and analysis. I wrote a custom program, on my own time, that would automate editing down these huge lists we’d get from an outside vendor, boiling it down to only what we wanted. First, only my team used the code. By the time I left, over 150 people were using it. Sounds minimal but it was actual a huge time saver. The program would boil down a list ~100 pages long down to about ~10 pages; a process we used to do manually a couple times a day.

A layoff was announced, I was part of the outplacement, but the firm wanted to continue using my program. I asked if there would be compensation as it was coded on my own time, never paid for it, etc. I was told no and “besides, there’s really nothing keeping us from still using it when you’re gone.”

For the remainder of my time (2 years), I would create patches whenever the format of the data changed. With my last patch, I put in code that would disable the program and erase key parts of the program one month after my last day. From what I understand from people still with the firm, on day X everyone came in, booted their machines, and the program was simply gone. Efficiency fell through the floor, delaying opening cases, billing clients, etc. I wanted 10k, they lost more than that in the first week without the program.

Photog1981

17. A Parting Gift To Her Co-Workers

During my exit interview I told HR the real reason I was leaving was due to the quality of the office chairs. I said they were an eyesore, uncomfortable and made me ashamed to come to work and resulted in sub-par job satisfaction.

Two weeks later I was told by previous co-workers everyone got brand new, top of the line office chairs.

jphiz

18. Don’t Piss Off Your Only Cook

At 16 I worked at a Dairy Queen Brazier in Texas. My Manager, was a jerk. One night, I sliced a good chunk of my thumb off because they did not have the proper safety equipment. After being out of work for 3 weeks, I returned to work. My thumb was still pretty screwed up, but I was trying. My Manager kept riding my ass, telling me I had to move faster (I was the only short order cook). When I saw three GreyHound buses pull up, I knew I was in trouble. She came back into the kitchen and said if I didn’t move fast for these buses she’d find someone who would. That was the last straw – I knew no one in the entire restaurant could cook. So I took her up on her threat and simply walked out the back door. She flipped me off as I drove away. My friends told me they hardly got any orders out and the buses left since they couldn’t get the food out. I felt bad for the people on the buses, but was sick of being berated by management.

sunrein

19. Out The Window

I got this.

Worked as a teen for McDonald’s for a month or two during the winter in the 90’s. We were understaffed and they usually had me working the deep sink and taking money at the drive thru. One day I come in at 4pm and the breakfast stuff is pilled to the ceiling at the sink because the day shift rolled out without taking care of it, as per usual.

There was a snowstorm this particular day and with the amount of dishes to do and the increasing frequency of running over and taking money from the window during the dinner rush my hands were beginning to hurt, then going completely numb. I let the manager know this wasn’t working out today and get blown off.

Fuck it, I crawl straight the fuck out of the money window without anyone noticing, at least no one on the staff. I get in my car and drive to the parking lot across the street and watch that dinner rush drive thru line back up out of the lot and down the street.

Seadgs

20. “I Don’t Want To Hear This”

I used to work for a telecommunications company.

My mom was very sick over the last 3 months of her life, so I had to go home most weekends to see her, it’s a 6 hour journey to get from where I worked to the town where I’m from. When her birthday came around, I requested a couple of days off that I had saved for this specific occasion. Yet, the days off were denied because we were approaching a busy time of year for sales. At this point, I hadn’t mentioned what was happening at home, because well, I was always taught that you keep your work and personal lives separate. But I said it to my boss, who, at the time, I saw as a pretty compassionate person. She never took any issue when I got sick or was late for whatever reason. But when I told her, she just looked at me point blank and said “I don’t want to hear this”.

After that meeting, I went back to my desk and sat there for about 20 minutes, thinking of a solution. That solution was to get my things, and just leave. I said goodbye to my friends on my way out, flipped my boss off and just walked out. I went straight to my car and drove back to my home town that night. It was the best decision I ever made.

I got to spend all my time with my mom before she went. We even got to go on a vacation and spend one last week away together because I had the time to do so. I’ll never, ever regret walking out that day.

Not exactly “hilarious”, but I had a good chuckle to myself on that drive home. The look on my boss’s face will never leave me. It was sweet.

IThinkIAmASofa

21. Work Night Turns Into Movie And A Beer

Worked in the cinema as a teenager. Came in late for work after they changed my schedule during my days off and didn’t think to mention it to me. Boss lost it and started shouting at me, as far as I’m concerned if you need to shout I ain’t listening. So let her rant away for a good 15 mins while I was at my locker clearing it out. When it finally clicked that I wasn’t listening or getting ready to work she stopped and asked what I’m doing I said ”going to see Lord of the Rings with the lads who’ve just finished as I’m doing nothing else with my evening. May go for a pint after. What’s your plans?”

definitelynotme_

22. Best Sales Day On His Last Day

I managed to find a telemarketing job as one of my first jobs. It sucked and we were treated like animals, but it was close enough that I could walk there from home. I only intended to stay long enough to afford a car.

One day, I realized that I had reached my set dollar amount for a car purchase. As a joke, I strayed as far from the sales pitch as possible. I changed my greeting to things like “Hey.” or “‘Sup?” I impersonated celebrity voices. People stopped working around me. They just listened in shock.

But it completely backfired.

It was my highest day of sales ever. I sold 10 times my average. The pit boss was bewildered, which is why I wasn’t fired right away (he listened in on all my calls that day). He begged me to stay, but I was out.

ShrugCorporation

23. Fighting The System By Using The System

My boss was a cunt, had me on a disciplinary for something that wasn’t my fault, and had my bonus taken off me. So i found a new job, threw out 2,500 worth of stock as technically the food hadn’t been stored away correctly, went above my boss and got head offices backing, then handed my notice in, knowing that id fucked his bonus up to. FUCK. THAT. GUY.

ssuperhanzz

24. This One Will Renew Your Faith In Humanity

My job at Chick-Fil-A had a tradition of pieing people in the face on their last day. Now I was the manager and didn’t trust the kids not to pie me when taking a complaint or during a rush or something, so I promised them if they’d wait until close in the parking lot, and if they got done cleaning on time, we’d do something special.

So I present to you: The Pie Gauntlet

I love my Chick-Fil-A family. Thanks for a great last closing. After 4 years of giving out my fair share of "Last Day Surprise Pies" we hosted THE GAUNTLET. Love and miss you guys.

A video posted by Alex Bennett (@spideybennett) on Jul 9, 2015 at 7:42pm PDT

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/30/24-hilarious-times-people-rage-quit-their-job-the-way-everyones-wanted-to/