#with the exception of any major errors ofc

[redo-rewind-if]

Redo; Rewind Demo Update - Chapter 3

This update adds: Over 140k words (including code)!!

Features:

Go clubbing and run into a very familiar face.

Or, you could head over to the local music festival instead! Why bother tracking down your hitman. Unless...?

Attempt a little breaking and entering, just for fun.

Plant a listening device and hope for the best.

Head home and plan your next steps.

Possibly use your new time travel abilities to fix your mistakes. Or don't. It'll probably be fine.

As you can see, the update is finally here! I'm sorry it took me so long, I really wasn't expecting it to. Alas, writing and coding are rather time consuming. And 100k words is basically a novel's worth.

Despite the word count, if you're only playing one route, it may not take you that long to read. Unfortunately, that is a problem with writing IFs, it feels like a lot when you're writing it but then when you go to play it...

On the plus side, there's many different routes you can try! I'd highly recommend using multiple saves to check out other options.

Regardless, I thank you all for your patience and support, and hope you enjoy it!

[Link] - Demo Update, Available Here!

(Make sure to start with a fresh save to avoid possible bugs caused by the old ones!)

[draystersden]

I have something really big coming up in CiaBS that I really want to ramble about...so, I will! ***Major spoiler warning*** (if you care) for what happens in the aftermath of Juliana challenging Kieran - it encompasses the ending portion of the story. It's very Alysa & Drayton centric, and takes a much more serious turn of events.

This post is long. Extremely long. Probably riddled with info I forgot to add, and spelling errors. But I did indeed ramble, and thank you if you actually were invested enough to read all of it! <3 Also uh, trigger warning for character death. And some body horror.

Drayton's motivations for wanting Kieran off the throne remain the same as they are in canon, except now he's extremely pissed over what Kieran did to Alysa: humiliating her in front of the entire school almost. It was bad enough that Kieran changed into someone worse, and disrespected him so much. Dragged their club down to ruin almost. But then, he made his girlfriend cry, over a loss that wasn't even one.

Drayton genuinely wants Kieran to pay for everything he's done. He technically gets his wish, when Juliana defeats him. However, Alysa catches into just how angry Drayton is over it all and finds it highly concerning, but the intercom comes on. The group is told that Briar wants to see the Kitakami sibs, Juliana, Drayton, and Alysa in a classroom.

Here starts the Area Zero trip. Alysa's of course super curious and wants to go help look for a Legendary Pokemon, thinking it'll be like a fun field trip. Meanwhile Drayton's ofc feeling too lazy and chooses to remain behind. Alysa does talk with him out in the hall over how Kieran really just needs a friend at this point. Antagonizing him isn't going to help anyone. Begrudgingly, Drayton promises that he'd talk with Kieran after they get back from the trip. He isn't champion anymore, so really, they can all let the drama be water under the bridge.

...Then, the expedition to Area Zero happens. And Alysa dies during it.

How? From pushing Kieran out of the way of Terapagos's attack, after it goes berserk. The blast strikes her head, and she's gone in the next second. Out of all of the people involved in Kieran's story, after how long he's been on his bad path and the multiple failed attempts from others to get him off of it.... Alysa pays the price for it all.

Not Drayton himself. Not Juliana. But Alysa. The person who really had nothing to do with any of the drama, but in the end, she's the one to bear everyone's mistakes. It all was a domino effect, really. It started with she choosing to join the League Club. That's what put her on this path.

Now, a miracle does happen. After Juliana captures Terapagos, somehow, its power emanating from her corpse changes. It breathes life back into her, but barely. She's rushed out of the Underdepths and Area Zero in its entirety, taken to a hospital in Medali. She remains in a coma for three weeks, before awakening with the missing portion of her head crusted over with crystals - including her left eye socket.

The BB E4 at first, only know that she got into an accident that put her into the coma. Drayton gets more details out of Carmine, who confesses that Alysa was actually dead. For a while. But still dead.

Because of Kieran. Because of himself. It's such a hard pill for Drayton to swallow. He's far more angry and sad than he's ever been, but all he wants is to be near Alysa. To watch over her. To care for her. Alysa's recovery fully begins once the crystals that had combined with her skin fully fuses with it, resulting in a blue hairless patch-like area of skin & bone to replace what she lost. While her left eye regrew from scratch, it has no functioning sight.

Furthermore, Alysa does experience various brain issues, as she has to develop new neuroplasticity with the regenerated portion of her brain. To top it off, her muscles atrophied while she was comatose. She has to slowly regain her strength, and learn how to walk again. And learn how to talk too, as the brain injury resulted in she having a form of aphasia.

To think that mere weeks ago, she was right as rain. Now, she was almost completely broken. Almost lost for good. It's a massive wake up call, to Drayton and to everyone else. Especially Kieran. He literally got someone killed. He got Alysa killed. Even now with she being alive, she - in a way - has to learn how to live again. It cuts him up on the inside.

Drayton's angry at Kieran for sure (so much for apologizing to him after the Area Zero trip huh?), but he's furious at himself. He's such a fuck up. He lost a lot of passion for improving his skills as a trainer, and look what happened. He lost to Kieran, who drove the club into the ground. He chose to not go to Area Zero because he was feeling lazy, and look what happened. His girlfriend had died - and now is struggling. He keeps making the wrong choices, and this time, he can't act as if it wasn't a big deal. It is a big deal.

He starts to hate himself. But, Alysa needs his energy more. Her family effectively abandoned her at this point, and if it wasn't for him and their friends, she would've been forced to go down the long road of recovery alone. It clicks that he...really can't keep going on how he is. He wants to stay with Alysa perpetually, and she needs support. He can't do his absolute best for her if he keeps striving for less because its easier. She deserves more than that. He can't help himself help her, unless things change. He NEEDS to start doing better.

A big talk with Drayden had already happened prior to this stage, but the Area Zero incident and Alysa's subsequent recovery is what really kicks Drayton into gear. He starts taking things more seriously. He starts thinking about a true future with Alysa, where they'll live and share their lives together. He has to become someone who's worthy of her love and loyalty, and of his OWN.

After Alysa's discharged from the hospital in Medali and moved to an in-patient rehab facility within Castelia, Drayton visits her multiple times every week. Even gets to participate in some of her therapy sessions. All the while, she slowly comes to terms with everything that's happened to her: throughout her entire life, leading up to she attending BBA. She having died, having left this world, doesn't settle in until one day when Drayton takes her out in her wheelchair to a park in the city. The peaceful scenery, people and pokemon relaxing around makes it click that she did lose...everything. Including Drayton.

Alysa has never felt attached to her life. She's never known what it meant to feel truly alive. But there, sitting in that park with Drayton, she feels it. And it makes her cry, to know that without the mysterious force behind her revival, she would've never gotten the chance to experience this. She wants to take advantage of it, to appreciate her life everyday from now on. To make the most of it. The colors of everything around her have never looked brighter.

A few months of progress later, and she's finally well enough to be discharged & come back to BBA after around 6 months in total. She enters with her eyepatch & rollator, given a very warm welcome with her dorm room filled with gifts. The E4 having all pitched in to get a large fridge installed in it, so a lot of pre-made meals & planned meals from Crispin have somewhere to go.

Shortly afterwards, Kieran meets with her for the first time (having gone through the Mochi Mayhem storyline already) since a visit in Medali's hospital. He bursts into tears, and apologizes to her for everything. He's been drowning in regret every day since the incident. He mourns how he's had a permanent negative effect on her life, that no matter how she's standing before him now, he caused her demise. He's come to understand that she pushed him out of the way so HE wouldn't get hurt, but he feels that he didn't deserve the action. He didn't deserve her care, not after everything he's done. On the inside, having not even told Carmine this, he confesses that he should've been the one to die.

Alysa intervenes by moving forward, and embracing him. All she says is "Kieran...We...will...be okay." and gives him a genuine smile. His reaction is to cling desperately to her, and cry. She lets him get it all out. After a while, he calms down enough and thanks her. He meekly admits that he does want to start an actual friendship with her, and she's more than happy to accept. (These two actually get along so well it's almost stupid.)

Carmine eventually sets aside time to talk with Alysa as well, apologizing for not doing more in Area Zero. She's also feeling guilty over how she hasn't respected Alysa's relationship with Drayton the way she should've. Carmine has Alysa promise to not tell anyone, but admits that she does - or did - crush on Drayton a lot.

But, he always frustrated her in how he chose to revel in his failures instead of working harder. In the past relationships he had, he became known for being very flippant and non-committal. Didn't help that he kept everyone at arm's length too, so trying to understand him was impossible. She basically gave up on him, wrote him off as a lost cause, but obviously Alysa got to see something different in him.

She did feel a little jealous over that, but getting to witness just how deeply Drayton loves her was eye-opening. She hadn't seen him care about anyone like that before. Carmine's genuinely happy for the both of them, that they both found each other (though she'd never tell him that to his face because he'd never shut up about it). Carmine also lets Alysa know that she's always wanted to be a friend to her as well, since she's already a part of the League Club friend circle. So, whenever Alysa feels up to it, they should hang out sometime. She's very okay with that, and again grows highly soft over the fact that so many people do care about her.

Juliana is a different case, but she has since made her own sense of guilt very clear. She isn't as "relevant" to Alysa as her BBA friends are, and Alysa never regains her full memory of Area Zero, but she easily forgives Juliana. Briar writes Alysa a letter at some point, giving her a formal apology for her failure to properly look after the students, and that she thanks the gods everyday for Alysa being alive. She's unsure if the two will ever meet or speak again, but she wishes her forever good health and happiness. With the letter comes a copy of the book Briar wrote of the expedition, and Alysa's moved to tears by how Briar recounts the incident with Terapagos, and a small personal note she added at the back of the book with her signature.

(In truth, Alysa was revived by the Life Incarnate, Xerneas, as it's the "direct" parent to Terapagos's species. It identified her death to it as something not meant to exist, and stopped the passage of her soul to revert it. In the plane between the living world and the afterlife, Alysa did get a glimpse of Xerneas's true form: a massive tree-like structure with rainbow crystals extending out into infinity. She keeps this information secret initially, but does eventually tell Drayton at least.)

Then...Drayton and Kieran. They don't talk until a few days after Alysa's back. The Drayster's had a ton of time to digest multiple things, so when he meets with Kieran face to face, he's neutral. There's no smiling, but no glares either. Kieran apologizes to him, acknowledging that Drayton isn't someone who's widely beloved in the school unlike the other elites, and he contributed to making his life even harder. To top it off, because of what he did to Alysa, he's wronged Drayton so severely. He understands if Drayton hates him, but he's truly sorry for everything - starting when he came back to BBA after that Kitakami trip.

Drayton breathes in, and out. A smile does make its way onto his face. He apologizes to Kieran for orchestrating a takedown plot on him; he could've thought of some other plan to help him, or got their friends more directly involved. But, he tells Kieran that he's just…tired. He needs to move on from the past, and he believes Kieran needs to do that too.

He's heard "I'm sorry" too much recently. Instead, he wants the both of them to start doing better. Yeah they got a couple of problems on the inside, but that doesn't mean they're bad people. So, why treat themselves like they are? This makes Kieran start to tear up again. Drayton says that he's fine with them starting over, with a brand new friendship. Kieran agrees, he wants nothing more than that with him. He does admit that he's always thought Drayton was genuinely cool, ever since they first met when he was champion. It got lost when he lost himself for a while, but Drayton was the first person he's ever idolized. He added powerful dragons (Dragonite & Hydrapple) to his team, in part due to his influence.

This completely stuns the guy. He gets over it, chuckles and says a sincere "Thanks, bud." A playful shine takes over his gaze, which gets Kieran concerned in a familiar and comforting way. Drayton jests that it is cute how Kieran idolized him, he wonders if he ever bought those merch items the elites's die hard fans have made of them. Flustered Kieran adamantly denies this, but Carmine does walk up, having been looking for her brother.

She's on edge seeing Drayton there, but once it becomes obvious that they've cleared up their beef, she slowly relaxes. Drayton does take the opportunity to say that on his end at least, he and Carmine are cool too. He knows that he was hard on her because of the incident, but the past is the past. He isn't going to hold it over her or anyone else's head any longer. This brings Carmine a lot of relief.

There are some bonus chapters, but the final chapter before the epilogue is where everyone's celebrating Drayton's 18th bday (Alysa's bday was a bit before his so she's also 18 by this point) and just having a good time. Drayden actually shows up, and meets Alysa for the first time. He's immediately charmed, and thrilled that Drayton's grown so attached to a bright young lady like her.

The epilogue chapter is a timeskip years into the future, when Alysa's graduating from BBA with Kieran and Crispin. Drayton, Lacey, Amarys, and Carmine have all since graduated. The Opelucid fam shows up, Drayton and Drayden handling Alysa's luggage and Iris chatting with her as they prepare for she to move to Opelucid and live with Drayton.

I have a whole, short sequel to this story on the drawing board, but that's the gist of CiaBS! Alysa post-incident is a new person compared to pre-incident (though this also goes for Drayton and Kieran especially). She has a different outlook on life, and appreciates the people in her own far more. She also starts taking her own health more seriously; for her own sake, and because...she basically HAS to.

Her case of being revived from death and body regenerating from such a horrific injury is literally one for the history books, but she is shadowed by chronic health issues - namely migraines + on & off physical weakness mainly in her body's right side. She improves over time, but her body never gets back to how it used to be. Her brain is never what it once was.

The blue, patch glossy skin stays there permanently, nor does hair ever grow there (so she has a large bald spot). Her left eye, being a total mutation & bearing a star-like pupil (similar to Terapagos's eyes), is permanently blind. She has to use a cane almost at all times, on bad days she has to pull out the walker or even her wheelchair. She's able to hold better conversations with people, but there are perpetual quirks in pausing or stammering. She struggles with Kalosian a little, as it doesn't come to her effortlessly anymore since she used Unovan more often than it during her months of recovery (and has used the language more often in general). She gets fatigued more quickly in general.

Looking at her, Drayton can never forget everything that led up to the incident. It reminds him to do his best every day, and to be more open with his care towards all his loved ones. The same goes for everyone in the BBA Squad, as you bet they all stay in touch & sometimes travel to meet up again.

[in-superbloom]

did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? (a.i.)

right where you left me: prologue

pairing: ashton irwin x olivia jones (oc)

warnings: uhh a kinda grieving theme i guess? but no deaths. it has a sad tone overall, but nothing major (in this chapter hehe). foul language because i can't help myself. the tiniest mention of alcohol, but as a memory. think i should probably warn you that this contains a very sad ash. also not much dialogues. this is mainly for explanation and introduction, but very important for the story. if you find anything else that might be triggering, please let me know so i can add it here !!

author's note: oof okay. so. this is the prologue of a series very very dear to my heart that i've been working on for what it feels like my whole life but really it's been just a few months. but i'm in love with the story (which rarely happens with my own writing) so i hope you can enjoy it too !! this is also my very first time posting a fic since 2013 so pls keep that in mind <3 no i am not shaking as type this ofc not also: although i have the full story ready in my head, this is the only chapter that's written. i wanted to wait until i had at least a few ready before posting this but i'm too anxious for that lmao just saying this bc it will take a good while until i have any more chapters, so <3 (p.s.: i went over this thing a million times since may so if you find any errors pls look away, i'm not fixing this thing anymore. thanks <3)

another note: anna from the future here to say that i completely forgot about the playlist i made for the story lmao here it is in case you're interested k thanks bye <3

credits: title is from taylor swift's song right where you left me. model in the picture: paola locatelli. banner by me.

i also wanted to take a minute to thank some really nice friends that i've made here over these past few months & that i'm extremely grateful for @wastelandcth @suchalonelysunflower @littledrummerangie i cannot thank you babes enough for inspiring me the way that you do & for letting me yell about this to you && for encouraging me so much 🥺 i'll never be able to explain just how much this means to me, so i'll have to settle for saying thank you at any change that i can get <3 i love you all 💜 also gem my baby, thank you for the inspo with the banner 💚

@bluesdelis look babe i did it 😌 you know how grateful i am for you & for you letting me have a breakdown every week about my writing for the past 8 years so let's not dive into that or else i will write something bigger than this prologue jsjsjdjd love you 🖤

i hope you all have a good reading and a nice day ♡

let me know what are your thoughts about the fic ! ♡

word count: 4.1k

☆☆☆

Cold. That was the first thing that Olivia’s brain processed.

Still with her eyes closed, she buried herself more into the duvet, while her arm blindly reached for the furnace in human form that she calls boyfriend. However, as soon as her arm was only met with cold sheets, her eyes shot open.

Blinking the sleep away, she sat up on the bed, searching for the infamous red clock resting on Ashton’s bedside table that was supposed to look like a vintage alarm clock. Olivia had ordered it online at an auction website a couple of years back, as a gift for his 23rd birthday, since it was something he had mentioned multiple times prior that he was looking for, but still hadn't found. But when it finally came in (two weeks after the due date), it looked nothing like the picture she saw on the website. Feeling beyond frustrated, she wanted to send it back immediately and ask for a refund and maybe leave a not so polite review on the seller's page. But Ashton stopped her right away, laughing like the situation was absolutely hilarious to him, while saying, 'I like it, it’s quirky'. So, the clock stayed and found a home right next to him in their room.

Some days, however, she would wake up at some ungodly hour because of the blaring noise of the only ringtone the clock had. But whatever annoyance she could feel towards the object, it always vanished as soon as she felt Ashton's lips gently touching her face in a good morning kiss before he would get up to start his day, leaving her to catch some more hours of well deserved sleep.

As the furthest from a morning person as a touring musician could possibly be, Olivia had always feared that living under the same roof as Ashton would turn her into an early bird like him, but she's thankful that it never happened (not that he needs to know about that).

When she sees the red clock, she smiles at the sudden but welcome memories of them flooding her foggy brain, but frowns slightly when she realizes it reads 12:13 pm. Ashton rarely lets her sleep past 10 am.

Gathering all her strength and will, she rises up from the bed, smoothly picking up a grey wool sweatshirt from the chair (way too baggy on her slim body, but it smells like him), pulling it over her head and relishing on the soft material warming up her body. Making her way to the door and calmly going down the stairs, she can’t help but stop for a minute to admire the picture frames on their walls, one in particular catches her attention – probably one of the most prized pictures and memories they had. It felt older than it actually is, but it was around 4 years ago, she's sure – a little while after the two of them met. The picture was of their group of friends that still remains the same: Ashton and his best friend, Luke; Olivia, her best friend, Calum and their old hometown friend, turned into Calum’s new friend at college, turned into everyone’s friend, Michael; and her then newly band members, Suki, Eli and Ravi. Together, their group was the life of the party through all their college years, and it showed by the big smiles and drinks in hands they all had in the picture. It was a very special night, the first time Olivia’s little band played for the public – for a small audience sure, but it was a wonderful night nonetheless. What a long road it had been since that night.

Her nostalgic thoughts were interrupted by a shiver that went through her whole body, and it made her realize how oddly cold the whole house was, not only their bedroom. Which, granted, it was November in New York and the weather was just getting colder, but that’s exactly why Ashton always made sure to keep the house warm enough. As much as she loved the chilly season, the warm weather always reminded him of his hometown, and who was she to deny him that?

The smell of fresh made coffee could be sensed even before she reached the kitchen. Arriving there, the curly haired woman still found no signs of her boyfriend, so she went straight after the coffee maker pot sitting on the far left corner of the cream marble counter. Smiling softly at the tons of memories of Ashton's sleepy figure making their favorite beverage, she reached for a coffee mug on the cupboard on top of the counter and poured the remainder of the hot liquid on it (it's her favorite mug, if she must choose – it was a gift from a fan, and it had printed on it a collage of the pictures of her and Ashton that were posted on social media through their first year of relationship).

Moving to the glass doors that lead to the mini garden they cultivate, she didn't have to open them to spot the 6-feet-tall man sitting on a bench outside, looking oddly small in his oversized clothes, coffee mug tightly held between strong hands. Something about his figure made Olivia frown, however: he was staring with an unwavering look at her small but eye-catching pot of yellow daffodils that were almost as much of a pet to them as Stitch at this point. Sensing that there’s something definitely off about his semblance, she made a mental note to talk to him and find out what’s wrong later. So she goes back to the kitchen, knowing that he might need this quiet and private moment for himself.

She lost count of the minutes that went by (couldn't have been more than five) before she hears the garden's door opening and closing, and then his bare feet are dragging his brawny body to her. Except, he goes over to the sink, walking right through her, not showing any sign that he even saw her hunched figure over the counter table in the middle of the room.

Alright, someone's in a mood.

Olivia tries to swallow the annoyance already bubbling inside her – he knows how much she hates to be ignored, no matter how mad he might be – by trying to think of what she can say that won't piss him off. This is always a hard feat to accomplish when Ashton gets in these moods, but there’s a reason for them to work so well together.

“I missed my favorite body heater when I woke up,” she says in her best sweet voice, knowing how quickly his resolve crumbles when he hears that voice.

Still, no reaction.

That settles a worry at the pit of her stomach, because Ashton is never like this. Even when he's not in the mood to talk, he always gives some kind of reaction to her words; it doesn't matter how small, just enough to make her feel acknowledged.

When he's finished washing his mug and the few scattered dishes across the sink – she noticed that he already had lunch, if the lone plate in the drying rack is anything to go by –, he dries his hand in a towel, turns around and throws it on top of the same counter Olivia was leaning up against. Once again, he walks away not even sparing her a look.

Indignant, she leaves the now empty coffee mug on top of the table and follows him as he walks up the stairs, any determination to not aggravate his mood now well gone.

“Hey! In case you didn't notice, I'm right here. Whatever got you in this sour mood, I'm certainly not to blame, so can you stop being a child now and talk to me?!”

Ashton just keeps walking – more like sluggishly dragging his body – until he reaches their bedroom and suddenly stops just merely two feet inside the room, looking around with vacant eyes; like he was expecting to see something that wasn't there.

“Okay, that's really mature of you. Are you planning on ignoring me all day then?” Olivia questions exasperated, staring angrily at the back of his neck, where the condor tattoo lives – her favorite of his, but that sight doesn't bring her any peace today like it usually does.

Her glare only breaks when she hears the familiar sound of dog tags swaying on her right side. Shifting her gaze to the direction of the sound, Olivia notices Stitch, their small, black & white French bulldog – who she thought was outside in the garden – slowly trudging his way from around the bed until he stops at Ashton's feet, looking up at one of his humans with sad eyes. That realization only makes the worry in her stomach grow uncomfortably.

“Hi buddy,” Ashton's voice cracks a bit from the lack of use, but he smiles softly at the sweet dog, and crouches down to pet him.

Olivia can't help but gasp as she notices three things all at once that leave her overwhelmed: first, how she didn't even notice Stitch was in the room when she woke up – which never ever happens, in fact, most days he wakes her up whenever he deems her bedtime as finished and can't ever contain his excitement when she finally gets up; second, how the windows blinds are closed, which, again, rarely occurs under their roof, not if Ashton can help it. And third, how sad and melancholic the whole scene in front of her is – how sad and melancholic Ashton is. Pointless to say by now – that's also a very rare occasion.

A chill creeps up Olivia's spine, putting her body into high alert and also serving as a reminder of how everything looks out of place today. Trying to keep her head from spiraling down way too soon, she wraps her arms around herself and crouches down beside her two favorite boys, trying once more.

“Ash? Can you hear me?” even with her throat closing, she softly asks, purposefully putting her face in Ashton's point of view. Her only answer is the low whispers he's letting out to Stitch, while cradling the tiny dog in his arms, spreading gentle kisses on his head.

“I know, bud, I know. I miss her too,” is the only whisper she could understand and immediately wishes she hadn't. The weak wail that comes from Stitch's throat seems to fit perfectly with how the three of them feel.

Ashton then looks up and for a couple of seconds, and Olivia can swear he’s staring right into her eyes. But when he shows no reaction, she knows he’s just staring ahead and not at her, with that look that says there’s too much going on inside his head. She feels the urge to embrace him and get him to talk about whatever is on his mind, so they can share that weight like they always do, but when Ashton gets up from the ground and settles on the bed with Stitch, Olivia can physically feel the crack in her heart caused by the feeling she’s left with.

While Ashton is pulling the duvet over him and the dog, with clearly no intentions of getting up anytime soon, Olivia stands up on her feet with a new-found determination – she needs to figure out what the hell is going on.

This nightmare had to be just that, right? Nothing but a very vivid dream – she's had those before. Scary sure, but they always go away, and soon enough she's back into Ashton's arms, with Stitch jumping on the bed ready to lick their faces off. She just needs to wake herself up from whatever fucked up dream this is – right?

She's running down the stairs this time, frantically in search of something, of what exactly, she doesn’t know – but she knows she needs an answer. The more she looks for something, the more desperate she gets, not knowing what to look for. Then suddenly, something catches her eyes.

The white and blue calendar that's held up by magnets on the side of the fridge. She knows their calendar is red and yellow. They got it from their favorite flower market. Slowly, as if scared of what it might be there – “It's just a calendar, for fucks sake” – she approaches the damn thing. Upon inspection, she deems it as a normal calendar – she really doesn't know what she was expecting – until.

She knows what's wrong with it now.

It's November. She knows it, because the Asian and last leg of her first world tour is about to begin November 21st, eleven days from today. Right after Mike's birthday, she knows this.

Then why does the calendar say today is January 14th?

☆ ☆ ☆

Ashton woke up with a jolt. He quickly sat up, frightening the little Frenchie that was asleep right next to him on the bed. Trying to make sense of his surroundings, he roughly rubbed his face to get some sleep off of it and soon reached for the dog that was staring at him with sleepy but sad eyes. Ashton is sure Stitch understands far more than a dog is supposed to understand about their current situation.

The room is covered in shadows, almost pitch black, but he can see the sunlight even through the thick dark grey blinds covering up the windows. Ashton knows he won't be able to sleep again at that moment, so he gets up from the bed – much slower than he used to. His heartbeat is still out of control because of the nightmare that woke him up, but he can't bother to pay attention to it when Stitch is softly wailing beside him. Ashton lets out a ghost of a smile when the dog rests his head on his right upper thigh, looking up at him with an expression Ashton knows all too well.

“C'mon you little ravenous creature, let's feed you,” the bulldog excitedly jumps to the ground, already running his way down the stairs, not even waiting for Ashton to get up.

That gets a real smile out of him, but it vanishes as soon as he glances at the alarm clock on his bedside table. It reads 5:13 am, nothing out of the ordinary for him. But that small and inoffensive clock, with its red paint peeling off, holds a lot of memories for him. Memories that two months ago would bring joy to his heart, but now he almost wants to throw the object across the room.

It was a stupid thing, really. He had been wanting a vintage alarm clock and Olivia got one for his birthday. But the product they received was definitely not the one she bought, and if he's being honest, he didn't like it as much as he made out to. But seeing her so excited in the weeks before it arrived, and how disappointed she was when it did, he couldn't help but try his best to make her smile that luminous smile again. It's part of his nature by now.

That's also the reason why he lets her think that he doesn't notice when she wakes up at some ungodly hour (her words, not his) along with him, because of the annoying and only sound the alarm clock is able to produce. He always leaves soft kisses in every inch of bare skin he can find on her sleeping figure, so she goes back to the dream land and doesn't wake up before 10 am. No one wants to deal with that kind of bad humor, not even him.

As much as he likes being a morning person and absolutely enjoys her company in the mornings, he knows she'll take any and every extra hour of sleep she can get before starting the day. And that's why he loves that she's so stubborn that his early bird tendencies never got to her – he knows she feared that this would happen when they moved in together, but he met her like this, fell for her like this. He wouldn't change a single thing about her.

Ashton drags himself out of the bed, wincing slightly at how cold the wooden floors are under his bare feet. He doesn't bother putting some socks on, or a sweater – the cold weather in the house is uncharacteristically comforting to him. Nothing feels warm without her anyway.

While descending the stairs, he mentally curses himself for not being strong enough to look past the picture frames on the wall. One in particular catches his eyes – a picture from the night of Olivia's first concert with her band. The memories of that night are still painfully vivid in his mind: the laughter among their group that eventually infected everyone at the pub, Suki and Luke's first kiss and the silly smile that didn't leave his best friend's face all night, the standing ovation Olivia got after her three-songs set, and her captivating and breathtaking smile that made him realize right then and there, while watching her sway to the music, that he was definitely falling in love with her and there was nothing he could do to stop it – not that he wanted to.

So many memories held up on that wall, in the relatively short time since they met, that he can't help but wonder if that's all they'll get in this lifetime.

Ashton is abruptly taken out of his thoughts by Stitch's barks coming from the bottom of the stairs. He quickly jogs down the few steps left and goes straight after the dog's food in the kitchen's cabinet. After Stitch starts to happily devour his breakfast, Ashton goes to make his coffee, doing enough for two people like he always does, since Calum drops by most days for a chat or to drop Duke before going to work. Although all three of them know he just can't bother to make food for himself in the morning, while Ashton is the group's elected chef. Ashton always says he just needs a boyfriend – Olivia says Calum already has one who makes him breakfast every day.

He grabs an apple from the fridge and makes his way outside to their garden. Even though a lot of their memories took place there, the garden is the only space in the house where he doesn't feel like suffocating all the time. At least here, he can breathe some fresh air and look at the sky when he's feeling overwhelmed – which is basically all he's been doing for about a month now.

Yet, a lot of the garden has Olivia's name written all over.

He remembers vividly the day she came home after spending two weeks in LA doing some pocket shows, with a pack of daffodil seeds and the largest smile. She excitedly told him that a friend gifted it to her when she mentioned the little garden they were planning to build together at their new house. The friend told Olivia that daffodils symbolize rebirth and new beginnings, so as the good lover of symbolism that she is, Olivia loved the idea of having those flowers to symbolize their new beginning.

Ashton, on the other hand, wasn't a fan of the flowers at first – he just didn't see the appeal to them. But nonetheless, he indulged her, letting Olivia plant the seeds near the bench they used to sit during the quiet and unrushed afternoons, so they could admire the sunset, and she could happily look at the daffodils.

Pointless to say – the damn flowers grew on him.

Now, however, looking at them without Olivia and her contagious joy next to him, they were back to be as dull as they were before, if not more so.

Still lost inside his head without any sense of how much time went by since he sat down, Ashton doesn't hear the front door closing, and doesn't notice that he's no longer the only person inside the house until someone sits next to him on the bench. Yet, he doesn't show any sign of acknowledgement to them.

A few minutes go by before either of them speaks up.

“Luke said you didn't go to see her yesterday,” Calum starts softly, not wanting to disturb the calmness of the morning.

Ashton takes a few seconds to respond, “No point in doing that.” The black haired man licks his lips while thinking carefully about his next words.

“You know staying inside this house all day by yourself won't help either,” Calum turns his head to his left and takes a good look at Ashton's uncharacteristically hunched over figure, and immediately thinks that anyone can tell this man is not himself anymore. His second thought is that Olivia would hate seeing him like this.

“And what exactly do you expect me to do? Move on with my life like nothing happened? Like I'm not slowly and painfully losing the love of my life? Just because it’s easy for you doesn't mean it's easy for me.”

Calum closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He knows Ashton doesn't mean it, it's the anger and frustration talking. He knows it. Doesn't make it sting any less.

“I'm not telling you to move on with your life, because that's far from what I'm doing, and I certainly don't expect you to do it. I'm just saying you need to occupy your mind or else–”

“I'll go insane? Think it's a bit too late for that,” Ashton interrupts with a bitter tone that doesn't belong to his usual chirpy voice.

“You know it's not,” Calum sighs and drinks the rest of his coffee, moving his body slightly, so he's facing the blonde man, “I got a job interview for you at that school you talked about so much last summer, the principal said you can go any day this week. I went ahead and sent her your resume as well as explained everything that she needs to know about Olivia, so you don't have to. You just gotta put on some decent clothes and show up.” he sees Ashton's face softening a little and takes it as a victory. A few beats go by and then, “Maybe take a shower too. That's gonna make you feel better.” Calum leans in closer to his friend's personal space and takes a sniff, causing Ashton to deflect from him slightly, but not to push him away – another small win.

“Definitely take a shower, you stink. When was the last time your hair saw shampoo?”

“Fuck off,” is Ashton's only reply to the younger man's inquest. But Calum can see a smile creeping up on the blonde's face, which brings out a smile of his own.

“I'll send you all the details later today,” he checks the hour on the watch on his wrist and gets up, “Just please, Ash, go. I can't lose you too.”

Calum gently lays a hand on Ashton's shoulder and squeezes a little. The man doesn't look up, but gives a curt nod to his friend, who's satisfied enough. Calum stops on the threshold of the garden glass doors to give some kisses to Stitch – who came to make Ashton company as soon as he finished his food –, and then he puts the coffee mug on the dishwater. And soon enough, he's on his way out of the door. But not before snatching a tangerine from the fridge.

Ashton is left by himself once again. As he hears the sound of the front door closing, he thinks that this might be his life from now on. Just him and Stitch, trying their hardest to make it through another miserable day without the love of their lives. While everyone else comes by just to make sure he's still breathing. Breathing, maybe, but alive?

Swallowing the tears, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep, beautiful mix of orange, pink and blue, but he knows that it won't last long and soon the rain will be pouring down. He thinks about how much Olivia loves the rain.

God, he needs to pull himself together. She would hate to see him like this. Maybe he should take Calum's offer after all, he really needs to occupy his mind.

Making a mental note to thank Calum later, and also to apologize for how rude he was to him this morning, Ashton slowly gets up from the bench to put his mug on the sink and makes his way to the living room, with the small dog loyally following his every step. He puts on some cartoon that for once doesn't remind him of her (she always lovingly made fun of him for still watching those) and cuddles with Stitch on the couch. He can take a shower later.

Not half an hour goes by, he falls asleep and has a good dream for a change. He dreams of the days he spent with Olivia in the Philippines last February, right before her first world tour started. Some of the most magical days of their lives – surrounded by delicious food, a whole new culture to learn about and the warmth of the sun. Infinite counted days full of love and passion, where they were the only people in the world.

Even his subconscious knows to hold on to that brief moment of happiness, because he might never live that again.

[gallavictorious]

love your metas, so can i get your thoughts? i've always felt that personality wise, fiona/ lip are alike, and then ian/ debbie are alike. fiona/ lip are smart but often lost in what they want out of life/ what path to take. they both self sabotage and spiral in response to that. s4/ s9 fiona and s6/ s7 lip had similar arcs. they seem to need to receive romantic "love"/ validation, more than to give it, and can be selfish in that. but they are very giving when it comes to their family. [1/2]

[2/2] so anyways, whereas ian/ debbie very much want to give "love" as much as they want to get it, to the point that they always let any awful person who demands it, have it. kash/ ned/ caleb/ trevor/ matt/ derek/ the s10 2 ladies/ etc were all like that. (mickey being the 1 exception ofc!) they can be manipulated and therefore taken advantage of. but they work hard and take pride in that and know what they want (rotc/ emt and babysitting/ welding). but debs is selfish obviously, and ian isn't

Hiya nonnie! That's some very interesting thoughts right there, and a few I hadn't considered before! Let’s see...

I think you make a great point about Fiona and Lip both being smart but lacking a clear idea of how to translate that into a sustainable lifestyle, and they certainly do have a tendency to self-sabotage. In fairness, fairly often it's things outside of their control that derail them – which I think is a very good illustration of how much harder it is to ”make it” when you come from that sort of background. Even when they aregiven opportunities and try to capitalize on them, there's so very little margain for error; everything is always just one small step from collapsing, there's always something going on with their family that they need to deal with, and when things do go wrong, they mostly lack the resources (mental and financial) to respond in a good way. Their coping mechanisms are maladaptive as all hell, that's for sure, courtesy of their fucked-up upbringing. But yeah, quite apart from all that, I think Lip and Fiona have a habit to fuck things up for themselves by not doing great with stability in general. Rob's an asshole but not entirely wrong when he calls Fiona a chaos junkie, and Lip's issues with authority and alcohol don't exactly make things easier for him.

Additionally, I think that while Lip and Fiona are both capable of hard work – and for a long time they certainly work their assess off to take care of their younger siblings – they also have a tendency to look for quick fixes and easy outs? They're problem solvers and quick thinkers, and they had to be, to deal with the mess Frank and Monica have made of their lives, but I'd argue that this survival tactic has developed into a somewhat problematic predispotion to eschew slowly, steadily working their way towards a goal in favour of leaping on ”smart” deals and opportunities. Which isn't always bad, of course, but it has caused them a fair share of problems; consider, for instance, Fiona and her real estate escapades in season 9 and Lip's highly questionable choices in season 11. (I just watched 11x07 again and GOD do I want kick him in the nuts. I love Lip, but grow the fuck up, man. Tami is a bloody saint for being as patient with him as she is.)

In contrast, Ian and Debbie have a crazy strong work-ethic and are highly goal-oriented. They fix their eyes on the prize and they fucking go for it, putting in the hours and the work without hesitation or complaint. They are far less likely to look for short-cuts or screw themselves over because they get bored with the monotomy. That doesn't mean their path to success is a straight one, of course; Ian's bipolar has wreaked some proper havoc for him, and though she's succeed in both having a kid and a job she trained for, Debbie's narcissm is keeping her from developing the strong bonds (familial and romantic) that she so desperately craves. I think the difference between Ian and Debbie here is that Ian is genuinely looking for a partnership and a real connection (to such a degree that it sometimes leads him into highly unfortunate relationships) whereas Debbie thinks she wants that but isn't prepared to actually be vulnerable and perceptive to the other person's needs to such a degree that a real partnership becomes possible. She never, I feel, actually sees and knows her partners for who they are; she projects onto them her idea of what they should be like, and responds to that, not to them. It hasn't ended well, so far.

And I have to say that while Trevor (of whom I'm fond in spite of his flaws, so you'll find no hate for him on this blog) and (especially) Caleb have their issue I don't think it's fair to compare them to Kash and Ned. As for Matt and Derek, they may not be perfect, but I'd argue that Debbie treated them far worse than they did her. I mean, she did rape both of them. (Out of youthful ignorance, sure: it's still sexual assault. I do find it very interesting and quite encouraging that she obviously recognizes her own guilt in season 11.) By and large, Debbie has treated her partners worse than they have treated her, which is certainly not true of Ian. (Which doesn't mean Ian's a saint. Boy's got plenty of flaws, and he doesn't always treat his lovers perfectly – the cheating comes to mind – but in general he doesn't treat them badly at all; as you say, he is more likely to allow himself to be treated badly by them.)

Circling back to Lip and Fiona, I think you have a point in them craving the way their partners make them feel, but being less interested in having a partner to build a life with, if that makes sense? They aren't really looking for someone to share their lives and struggles with (which might be the resulf of them being used to having no one but each other to rely on for most of their lives); they want that high of being in love and in lust, and when things get a bit too steady and boring, they get restless. Jimmy was, admittedly, a big support for Fiona for a while, but it was quite one-sided: always on her terms. Lip might be coming around on that with Tami, though – possibly because she's assertive enough to push back against him and not let him get bored. Also, Lip (and Fiona) has shown himself to be far more devoted to kids in his care than to his partners, so I'm sure Freddie's existence is a major factor in him sticking it out with Tami even when things are hard. (Not to suggest he doesn't love Tami; I think that she's by far the best match for him on the show.) At the end of the day, I think that Lip and Fiona would enjoy someone properly at their side and in their corner – they just need to understand that that's something they can have, and that for it to work, they need to be in their partner's corner too. As I said, Lip might be on the way, though his unwillingness to solve problems together with Tami is worrisome; who knows what Fiona's up to in Florida; Ian's already got it, and as for Debbie... she knows she wants it, but not how to achieve it. For her, I think, the answer might be to reassess how important having a partner really is to her; does she truly want it, with all the compromises it inevitably entails? Then again, she's young yet; we were, I think, none of us very good at relationships at 20, and Debbie (and her siblings) has had a rougher go of it than most. She has time to learn.

This took... forever, nonnie, so I do hope you see this!. :o Can't say I expect my scattered and tentative musings to have been worth the wait, but I ended up having a lot of fun thinking about this, so here's to you finding something of value in there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me! <3 And as always, if anyone else wants to chime in you're more than welcome to; my ideas on this aren't very fixed, so I'd love to hear other or additional perspectives.

[kyoupann]

Please do more of the writing head canons. It’s really interesting to see other people’s ideas on the topic, so if you can be bothered, I would highly appreciate more, thanks bye <3

Y’all don’t know how happy I am to talk about these headcanons, they are my babies and I love them so much :’) thanks for asking g <3

Handwriting Headcanons

Same dynamic as before, try to guess whose handwriting it is before reading and tell me how many you got right! <3

You can find the first post here (no need to check it tho)

Quick disclaimer: halfway through making my initial notes, I remembered I had one (1) single lesson of graphology in my applied linguistics class, but that was a year ago and some information might be off. I just thought it was neat to include.

Another quick disclaimer: I don’t know much about Hylian, but I like to think it has a similar stroke system to Japanese, so the pressure and accuracy of your strokes play a major role in your handwriting (among other things, ofc.) so there are some parts where I focus more on that

(First Row, from left to right)

Sky

Our first boy is mother hen! Believe it or not, he has the prettiest handwriting out of all of them! Sky: probably has nice, even elegant handwriting because Sun forced him to practice when they were little. In the end, that paid off because his handwriting is the prettiest one. There’s no pressure, but he is confident in what he writes that his lines aren’t thin. Mistakes? what is that? this boy has impeccable grammar and spelling. No mechanic errors to be found in his letters! I’d like to think that many of Hyrule’s classic/staple poems were originally written by the firt king aka sky child. Like, imagine, after a retiring from being a Person of Power (as the first ruler), Sky finds comfort in the arts: revisits his old woodcarvings and starts writing poetry about the world he still doesn’t fully understand. wowie. tldr: sky writes poetry and you can pry it from my cold dead hands.

This is what one of his letters would look like: 

Next one is the one and only, our Hero of Time

2. Time

I’ll die on the “Time didn’t know how to read and write” hill. His handwriting is simple, not pretty but not messy. It has some grammar and spelling mistakes here and there. Can become unreadable if writing in a hurry, he sorts of forgets spaces between words are a thing/letters have different sizes and lowercase letters end up the same size as capital letters. I’m not saying he sometimes forgets to write articles: he just doesn’t want to. Honestly, he just has this dad-neat handwriting. He is a gentle dad and writes like a dad, if he puts too much pressure onto the paper, his handwriting become too sharp/angle-ish and ends up looking ugly. And as much as he would like to not care about it, in the end he does (:

Malon taught him how to write and it was quite the experience. At first he didn’t want to because he was ‘too old’ to learn and it was torture at first, but now look at him devouring his cowboy novels. 

A chunk of his handwriting: 

*sniff* such a dad quote.

3. my mansss, your  4x1 deal at Target: Four

Look, my boy is patient! He could do some nice and fancy lettering if he wanted to. He was taught that handwriting and spelling said a whole lot about him as a person, you know, like a first impression kinda thing; so he always proof reads more than twice before sending ­a letter. Super rare grammar mistakes.

The faster he writes, the more slant his writing becomes. Under stress/ when not sure how to write things down, run-on sentences are everywhere and his handwriting is inconsistent in general (I don’t headcanon each part of him having completely different handwriting because handwriting becomes muscle memory over time. It’s just slightly different variations of the same, like idk  Vio’s handwriting is neater than Green’s and Red writes hearts instead of any dot/circle and no, I do not take constructive criticism on that, jk i do.) Adding on to each of the colours’ handwriting, I’d think Red and Green write with words slanted to the right( inclined), Vio is a mix of the opposite, so reclined and straight, and my mans blue a true neutral writes straight (kinda like Time’s).

The logic behind this is that inclined writing supposedly means honesty and need for giving (and getting) affection; reclined means, as you can probably imagine,  defensiveness and repression of true feelings, but also shows great concentration; straight handwriting means self-control, observation and reflection as well as distrust and indifference. But as complete being (tm), Four just writes as in the image example which is not too straight and not too inclined, and I believe that’s a good middle for him

HOWEVER, if I’m feeling in the mood for crack, I totally accept this boy to have the ugliest, chicken scratches-looking handwriting! :’D It’s just funny to think that someone like him, who has to be precise and careful in his work, can't write neatly to save his life. 

One of his letters would look like this: 

Also I just LOVE how his hero titles look in this font ksksks

and that’s

(Middle row, from left to right)

4.- Mister Bunny Boy - Legend

His uncle taught him how to write. I’d call his handwriting pretty and neat at a first glance, but he presses too hard on the paper, most of the time staining the back or the following page. Sometimes will retrace some words if he doesn’t like how it looks (which only makes it messier). According to my notes, a thick or strong handwriting represents determination/commitment.

As I also headcanon him to know many languages, mechanical errors are more present than grammar ones; that is, weird capitalisation of words. Punctuation is somewhere in between; uses too many commas when he should just cut the sentence. he mixes punctuation from two languages or more in writing when too distracted (or too focused, because, well, pressure.); when he writes for himself, he has almost no problem following said language’s punctuation rules. Also, this is just polyglot culture, and I’m projecting a bit, but when he forgets a word in the language he’s writing, he just replaces it with its equivalent in another language because we don’t care about fluency, but rather functionality. in this household (more on that in my language hc, ksksks).

An example of his writing:

so powerful

4.-  Mr. Wolfman, howl me a song - Twilight

I don’t have much for him because 1) I don’t think he writes a lot and 2) he is a hands-on/visual learner, I’ll die by that. He only learnt how to write because Ulli insisted it was important and he was not about to disrespect his momma; he IS That Guy, but doesn’t really write enough to have neat handwriting.

Many people seem to overlook the fact that his house is filled with books and write him as completely illiterate (which if not explored properly, ends up feeling a bit disrespectful and full of prejudice, but go off I guess; and that’s on my core Headcanons for Twi); however, he sticks to simple sentences. Knowing how to read and understanding a text is different from knowing how to write them. Like, when we would see a semicolon and understand its position in the text, but didn’t understand the nature of it. Is this clear? idk i’m sorry. So yeah, boy reads a lot, writes very little.

As for his Actual Handwriting, as opposed to Legend, his handwriting is thiccc but not because he presses into the paper; he is just that messy, he has no sense of ink-flow-control, he does what he can with what he has. To the untrained eye, his handwriting illegible letters like v, n, u are very similar; when he makes notes for himself he does it in the form of doodles or small ‘icons’. But! He reads a lot, so he rarely makes spelling mistakes (: he is your go-to guy when you don’t know how to write a word.

An example of his writing:

He keeps a journal, sue me.

3. My first born- Warrior

Okay, first off... I accept this is completely biased. I saw the idea and said “That’s True”. If you haven’t, please read Effective Communication; or The Lack of Thereof by htruona, a fic where the boys reflect on the language barriers between them. It’s incredibly funny and probably what made me start making these silly notes. So, if you’ve read that fic, you know where I’m going.

My man, Warrior, can’t fucking write. I mean, he physically can, but it’s very bad. Here’s the reason for it, tho, and it’s not his fault: Technically, he knew how to write alright but he joined the military and whatever note he had to write had to be concise or in the worst case coded. He mixes capital and lowercase letters. If we consider that he joined the military at around 15, his handwriting and grammar had yet to continue developing. Just think about how after summer break, your handwriting was always slightly worse than before because you didn’t write for an entire month. Now think what 2 years can do to that. Hmm, not cool, dude. He makes quick notes, when writing he’s all gotta go fast. he is the lighting mcqueen of writing; good for emergency messages, not ideal for love letters. His punctuation also suffered a lot, he only know full stops and commas and hardly uses them. A sentence for him is either one word or fifty without a single comma, no inbetween.

His hero title and an example of his writing.

(Bottom row, or what I like to call “fuck cursive” row)

7.- Magic man - Hyrule

I’m basic and I do agree with the popular headcanon of he not knowing how to write because well, y’all know his Hyrule. He only knows how to write his name because that’s important, same with numbers. I don’t see why would he write/read except checking the roadsigns. (he can even use this as an excuse for getting lost frequently; he thought it said something different.) But I do think that because his habitual reading consists of roadsigns, his ‘punctuation’ is weird af and places full stops/points/periods at the same level of his words and his commas/question/exclamation marks below them. Yk, creative license. Sadly, I don’t have much about my magic hands man so here’s what his writing would look like if he actually wrote a paragraph:

Man, I love Hyrule.

8.- Man, I don’t understand this boy -  Wild

Cursive? ain’t nobody have the time for that. He woke up and had to save the world in his underwear while not knowing how to read nor write.  He learnt during his journey and was taught by multiple people from different regions, that explains his inconsistent spelling of things and names for them. So Wild knows language variations for many items and uses them interchangeably (even if they aren’t exactly the same). Another headcanon related to writing/language skills that I’ve been thinking about is that if the shrine was able to cause amnesia, I’m sure there were other areas in the brain affected which leads us to language disorders such as agraphia and aphasia. But that’s a story for another day ksksksk

An example of his writing (after relearning)

9.- The best of sons - Wind

I don’t have much for him and that makes me sad. Look, he’s a kid, doing kid things like stabbing dudes on the head. This boy was taught cursive by his grandma, but could never do it and no one needs it anyway. His handwriting is good enough for his pirate life, Tetra is the one to handle Official stuff, he just gotta sign. Spelling and grammar mistakes abound. He is still relatively young and can correct his handwriting if he desires. But same as Wild, with how many times he’s been thrown out and hit his head, I’m starting to consider some language disorder for him as well.

An example of his writing:

aaand that’s it.

Thanks, y’all for showing interest in this silly thing uwu it was fun to finally talk about this. If you ever want to discuss ideas/headcanons(especially if they are related to language and culture), I’m your person (: I’m always happy to hear new headcanons. Feel free to add anything to this post either in a reply or in a reblog, I’d love to hear from y’all <3<3

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Forever

One Shot: Snack

Summary: Katie’s hungry…and there’s only one snack she’s pining for.

Warnings: Language!! Smut (NSFW)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Rogers (nee Stark)

A/N:  If you are currently reading Stark Spangled Banner for the first time as it is being reposted then this contains MAJOR SPOILERS and I recommend you wait until you’ve finished so you don’t spoil anything!

This was more self gratification after seeing the photo below...

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Steve grabbed his thermos mug full of coffee before he headed out to the hallway, meeting Katie at the bottom of the stairs with a fully dressed and clean Jamie in front of her, freshly changed Aurora on her hip.

“You ready son?” he looked at Jamie.

“Just need my jacket.” he nodded.

“It’s on the peg by the door.” Katie said, giving Steve a peck on the lips.

“Love you.” he smiled at her, before he kissed Rori’s head and she grinned at him.

“You too, have a good day.” Katie smiled, as she waved them both out of the door.

The Rogers’ household routine in the mornings always seemed to go the same. Family breakfast, change the kids, wave Steve and Jamie off…but no matter what time they got up in the morning it always seemed to be a rush. And she knew it was going to get even worse when she went back to work in a couple of months. But, as she walked into the kitchen and placed Rori in her bouncer seat with a teething ring, she looked around and realised she wouldn’t have it any other way.

As she tidied and set another pot of coffee going she spotted Steve’s wallet on the side she rolled her eyes and fired him a quick message telling him he had forgotten it.  His response was almost instantaneous and she smiled, arranging to drop it in to him at lunchtime.

Once she was done she settled at the table and logged into her emails, smiling as she had one from Emmy asking her to read over one of her essays before submission. She had an agreement with the teenager, that she would proof read and highlight areas where there were errors or parts which could be improved but would point blank refuse to provide either corrections or detailed suggestions as she was keen that the work was Emmy’s own.  Not that she needed much help, their eldest was a brainbox and currently flying high in her first Semester at Harvard.

And, according to her email, was coming home this weekend for the first time in 4 weeks.

Which in Katie’s opinion called for a family dinner. So she set about organising it, except the group chat kind of went a bit haywire when Emmy flipped out, sending a copy of a photo she’d seen of Steve that had been taken that morning which was trending on twitter.

Katie snorted at Emmy’s disgust but then her attention diverted fully to the photo of Steve. It must have been taken by one of his students earlier that day, and was apparently posted on twitter accompanied with the tag line of “My tutor is a snack”

Katie had to laugh because as much as she wasn’t sure that it was appropriate for students to be taking photos if their tutors on such a way, she couldn’t deny that her husband was a snack. In fact, he was more like a 4 course fucking meal in the photo in question. He was sat in a chair, reading a paper. It was ridiculously innocuous, but there was something about it that set every nerve in Katie’s body on edge. His jaw line, his hands, his wrists…holy hell he was channelling some big Daddy Vibes.

She was squirming all morning after seeing that photo. By the time she met Steve for lunch she was ready to jump his bones but there wasn’t really much opportunity to do that in the public arena of the coffee shop.

“Hey baby doll.” Steve smiled as he spotted Katie pushing Rori’s buggy through the door, standing up to greet her, hand on the glass pane to keep the door open slightly.

“Hi handsome.” she smiled, accepting the kiss he dropped to her cheek before he turned his attention to Rori, picking her up out of the pram. She giggled and waved her arms and legs, grabbing at his beard. He sat back down on the leather sofa, Katie dropping his wallet onto the low table in front of them.

“Thanks.” he said “Luckily I had a twenty in my pocket or I’d have been severely caffeine deprived this morning.”

He looked up as the waiter came over and they placed their orders for a couple of paninis and coffees before Katie sat back, nestling into the space under his arm which was resting across the back of the sofa.

Katie smirked “Had a good morning Daddy?” “Stop it.” he said in a low voice, shooting her a look as he bounced Rori on his knee. She flashed him an innocent one of her own back and he rolled his eyes before she laughed.

“I’m sorry but…it really is a damned good photo…” she fished out her phone “And Emmy was right. Steve Rogers Snack is trending.” Steve groaned. “I know, I’ve been getting screenshots off Sam all morning, well I was until I blocked him as well.”

“As well?” she frowned “You mean you actually did block Bucky?”

“He sent me a clown picture.” Steve shuddered “So yeah. I did. I’ll unblock em later. Maybe” he said, waving his hand.

Katie shook her head, watching him for a moment as he concentrated on Rori who was now chewing at her hand. Reaching into the changing bag, Katie handed over a teething ring which he took and passed over with a smile, Rori making some form of babble back as she shoved it in her mouth eagerly.

“She’s looking more like you each day.” he said, smiling and looking back at Katie.

“You think?” Katie asked, looking at her daughter.

Steve nodded. And he meant it. Whereas Jamie was a carbon copy of him, he felt that Aurora was in turn going to be the double of her mother. Her eyes were almost completely green now, and her hair was dark too. She had her mother’s nose and face shape although Katie insisted the cheekbones were definitely from the Rogers’ side, not that Steve could see it. “She’s beautiful.”

“Charmer.” Katie smiled

“Only for you.” he shot back, winking.

****

Seeing Steve at Lunchtime had done nothing to stop or help with Katie’s spiking libido. It really was ridiculous how much of effect a fucking photograph taken on the sly was having on her, so much so she was ready to jump his bones the moment he walked through the door, but with the two kids being around there wasn’t much chance of that.

“Momma!”

Rori let out a shriek at the sound of her brother’s voice and grinned as he ran into the room.

“Hey baby, did you have a good day?” she asked, looking up from where she was sat on the rug playing with their youngest, and he nodded.

“Yeah but tomorrow is gonna be even better as it’s soccer day!” he grinned. Katie smiled, Jamie hadn’t been at school for very long but he already loved soccer and baseball practice. She ruffled his hair and glanced up at Steve who was leaning in the doorway, still in that fucking jacket…

Steve spotted the look on his wife’s face straight away. He knew it well enough. A thirst, a lust, desire…

“Jamie, why don’t you take your bag upstairs and get changed?” Steve tore his eyes off Katie’s to look at his son.

“Can I play on my computer?” he asked hopefully.

“Just until dinner.” Katie said, looking at him.

He gave a triumphant yell and stood up, bounding out of the room.

“Speaking of dinner I better start it.” Katie said, standing up. “You ok to watch her?”

“Course I am.” Steve chuckled “She’s my daughter.”

“Just checking.” she said, brushing past him in the doorway. She stopped and glanced at him, her hands running up the lapels of his jacket and he gave a smirk.

“You really like this jacket huh?”

“Almost as much as I liked the stealth suit.” she agreed before she looked him up and down, making no attempt to disguise the fact she was as she bit her lip and headed off up the hallway.

Steve waited until she had gone and let out a soft groan. Since her dirty little Daddy comment before he’d had a semi-hard on all fucking day. And now, after that little display he was turned on even more.  Taking a deep breath he knelt down on the floor and tickled Rori’s tummy where she was grabbing at the baby gym she was underneath. He could hear Katie gently humming and after another minute or two he picked Rori up and carried her through to the kitchen, placing her down in the playpen in the corner of the room.

Without a word he crossed over to where Katie was stood reaching into the cupboard for something. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back towards him, his lips gently skating up her neck.

“This what you want?” he asked softly and she gave a grin, tilting her head to look at him.

“What gave you that idea?” she asked.

“Just a hunch…” he muttered, his lips meeting hers in a soft kiss, before his mouth moved to her jawline, one hand straying to the button on her jeans. He popped it easily and worked his hand into the front of her underwear and she gave a soft gasp as his fingers began to play with her sensitive flesh.

“You know…” he continued to speak as her sighs slipped from her mouth “I’ve wanted this all day doll, you’ve had me pining for you…”

“Yeah, well, the feeling’s been mutual…” she said softly, arching her back and taking a sudden breath as two of his fingers slipped insider her. She pushed back slightly, the curve of her ass pressing into his groin and he gave a hiss.

“Fuck baby…” he said through gritted teeth, and he gave a disgruntled wimper as his hand stopped what it had been doing.

“Steve…”

“Such an impatient brat…”he chastised, his mouth on her neck and as she closed her eyes she could hear the tell-tale sound of his belt buckle being undone and the zip on his flies being pulled down. His hands retuned to the front of her jeans undoing them the rest of the way and sliding them down wither panties to her ankles. As he stood up, his hands gently traced the curves of her calves to the outside of her thighs and he grabbed her hips pulling her back towards him before he bent her gently forward, nudging her legs as wide apart as the clothing round her ankle would permit.

He didn’t say another word as he pushed into her in one glide, burying himself to the hilt. Katie let out a groan, her hands slipping forward on the kitchen counter slightly as he bottomed out, before he gently pulled back and did the same again and again, hands gripping at her hips as he continued.  He leaned over to nip at her neck, causing her to whimper, one hand moving from her hip to clasp her jaw, tipping her head round to meet him. His lips crashed onto hers in a hungry, domineering kiss, swallowing her dirty little moan as he picked up the pace, his hips rutting forward faster.

She gave a loud, low purr of delight as he slid his mouth to the pulse point on her neck, before he let out a growl of his own and glanced down at the point where their bodies were joined, the sight of him slamming into her worked him up even more.

His rhythm became faster, and Katie felt her hips banging against the side of the marble surface tops. She knew there would likely be some bruises there tomorrow but at that point in time she really didn’t care. Her hands tightened around the edge of the kitchen counter, her hips bucking back into his, desperate to feel him as much as she could, the feel of him brushing against her spot was finally scratching that itch, satisfying that hunger she’d been feeling all day.

“Fuck you feel so good doll…” he praised, lips warm on the shell of her ear as she arched her back slightly, letting out another keen of desire and she felt the animal in her belly beginning to stir. Steve could read the signs well enough by now to know she was close, and he moved one hand to stroke between her legs whilst he continued his relentless rhythm.

“Stevie…” she stuttered his name, before her voice became nothing but a strangled, hoarse cry and she tightened around him, her legs buckling slightly. He tightened his arm around her belly as he felt the familiar white hot ribbons surge through his body as he let himself go, his rhythm faltering as he emptied himself inside her with a groan.

Katie laughed softly as he moved back, his hands gently gliding up her arms as he kissed the back of her neck softly before he stepped back to allow herself to pull up her clothes as he tucked himself away and fastened his buckle.

“Now I gotta stand here, in damp panties and cook…” she turned and looked at him, sliding her arms round his neck.

“Well, that serves you right for snacking before dinner.” he grinned, as she let out a bark of a laugh before he dropped his head slightly, running his nose up against hers “Let’s hope you haven’t ruined your appetite completely for desert….”

[queens-hoes]

Ikevamp Suitors as University Professors (Part Two!)

Isaac

Physics Prof ofc with a love of Astronomy

When his class sees him for the first time at the beginning of the year, they usually think he’s another student

A graduate student at most

Imagine their shock when he starts leading the lecture oh boy

Arthur and Dazai love sitting in on the first day to hear all the gasps those little shits

Isaac’s students learn rEAL QUICK that despite looking super young, he shouldn’t be messed with

This boy is hELLA smart

Arthur makes it a point to visit often and persuade the class to prank poor ole Newt

But they actually respect him a lot sorry Arthur

Isaac is a way better teacher than he gives himself credit for

which is important because Physics...oH BOY

I had to learn some Newtonian Physics for an Astronomy class and I cRIED

Even though he seems aloof, he spends hours tutoring students after class/during office hours when they struggle to understand certain concepts

He’s got a hidden heart of gold that not many people get to see

He’s definitely one of those profs that students remember like 30 years after graduating

Lots of students take turns leaving an apple on his desk before every lecture

At the end of the year, they get him a huge barrel of apples and apple-themed decorations

He scowls, but he’s secretly endeared

Shut up Isaac you know you love it

Theo

An Art History prof!

Every first-year art student has to take both Vincent’s class and Theo’s class

After finding out that the two are brothers, most of them are excited to meet Theo since Vincent is such a sweetheart

only to meet the Devil incarnate

Theo doesn’t play around! 

You will know the difference between Neo-Impressionism and Post-Impressionism and you will like it

The people that called this class a piece of cake are quaking as he goes through the syllabus 

Although Theo seems scary and a lot like a prickly lil pineapple, it’s clear that he truly has a passion for art even tho he doesn’t make any of his own

But bc of this passion, he expects everyone to be perfect at all times

Sometimes Vincent will drop by and it’s like a breath of fresh air

Is Professor Theo...smiling??

As the semester goes on, he kinda grows on everyone

He does his best to make his lessons interesting so everyone can get as excited by art as he does

Actually says really wise things sometimes? albeit in a Theo-esque way

“Now listen here. All of you are artists with your own methods and none of you need to imitate these old styles if you don’t want to. All these painters are dead and even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t give a shit. In fact, the only people who did give a shit were the ones that could barely hold a brush and they’re dead now too, so fuck ‘em.”

Profound.

Dazai

Literature prof with a focus on Japanese works ofc 

Also a major fixture in the Japanese branch of the Foreign Language department

He doesn’t teach the language, but he loves to teach the culture

Where Arthur probably teaches the 1st and 2nd years, Dazai teaches the  3rd and 4th years

Absolutely No One takes him seriously when they see him for the first time

Mainly bc he was lounging on the window sill as opposed to a chair

Yeah that’s right, his lecture hall has windows, as per his request

He’s a major wild card and spends most lectures walking across the desk at the front of the room

A major crackhead

Seriously, you’re never safe in his class

You never know when he might sneak up behind you and literally jumpscare you

“HeLLo AiKO-sAn~”

Super laidback, doesn’t like giving many assignments 

“Instead of an essay, why don’t you all just walk through nature today and write a poem based on your experiences~”

Lots of students low-key think he smokes up before class but this has yet to be confirmed

Brings his bird to class everyday 

Never

EVER

remembers names.

The kind of prof you either love or hate

BUT HOW COULD YOU HATE HIM

Jean

Our good Catholic boy has degrees in History and Religious Studies

He enjoys combining them by teaching classes on Religious History and the occasional World Religions class

Although he’s Christian, he enjoys hearing about other religions and is definitely not the type to debate which faith is ‘better’

buT OFC he gets rowdy students looking to start arguments from time to time

He listens patiently to all their points but DON’T FORGET that this man knows how to roast the ever living fuck out of someone if he needs to this is practically canon

It’s not a power he uses often but when he does.......those students regret ever starting that debate with him

With the exception of those poor victims, most students actually like him

Which surprises him to no end

Whenever students tell him how much they enjoyed having him as a teacher he’s like “eRRoR &$326872*&3&6″

Bc even though he’s p serious and stoic, he makes class interesting in his own unique way

He insists he isn’t that great and shouldn’t work as a prof but Napoleon is always there to go “HEY! THEY LOVE YOU!” 

Plus quite a few girls think the emo hair is a LOOK

[dawnie1988]

Summary: So many thoughts can crop up when one is trying to make an important decision. For Birdie, it’s bringing up all the regrets she has in regards to the way she has chosen to live her life. Or, in which fear and complacency can be a slippery, downward slope.

Words: 4,656 

Pairings: Platonic Dean x OFC (not actually named after sir jensen’s pup, just a name i’ve always liked)

Tags: Angst, One Sided Pining, Pity Parties and More Taylor Swift Song References Than Would Have Been Deemed Necessary

A/N: This is my entry for Sabrina’s - @winchesterxfamilybusiness​ - Make Me Swoon 250 Followers Writing Challenge. I can say with much certainty there will be no swooning going on here though. My prompt was:  “If I knew it was going to hurt this much I wish I never laid eyes on him.”

Big, big thanks and love to the ever amazing @there-must-be-a-lock​ for taking the time to go over this and doing some big time beta work, not only saving any potential readers a nightmare load of grammar errors but also for the many helpful tips and suggestions along the way and helping to shape this into a more manageable and thought out piece. Seriously, this thing was nearly 10,000 words of nonsense before she started dusting her magic over it. You’re incredible, and I adore you 😘

=======

Athens, Ohio - 2011

- can i come by?

The text had come in about an hour ago, just as Birdie was ushering the last patron out for the night. She didn’t have the time - or the emotional strength - to deal with it at the moment, so she did what she did best: ignored it.

She took her time wiping down the counters and table tops, washing out all the glasses and drying them with care. She stacked all the chairs on top of the tables, took out the garbage and emptied out the cash tills, counting and recording that night’s take. She finished up her nightly routine by double checking that all doors and windows were locked and secured before turning off the lights and making her way up the old creaky staircase to her loft above the bar.

After allowing herself several moments in the shower to wash the day off, Birdie slid into some soft sweats and an old Mickey Mouse sleep shirt. She grabbed an apple to munch on, as well as the stack of papers. She needed to make a decision, and was quickly running out of time to do so. 

She settled into her favorite overstuffed chair by the window that overlooked the city, enjoying the peaceful quiet of the night, before skimming through the contract in her hands for what felt like the hundredth time.

A month ago, a lawyer had come into the place (Jacob something or another the Third) inquiring about buying the bar from her. He worked for some mid size fast food chain that was looking to expand. She had scoffed at the idea in the beginning, told him she wasn’t interested, but he was a persistent little weasel, that was for sure. He kept in touch and eventually got her to the stage of accepting the very contract she held in her hands to look over. 

It was a fair offer. In fact, it was more than fair, which had made her leery at first that she was getting screwed somewhere. But she had visited three separate lawyers, and after combing through it, they all agreed there were no secret loopholes, just a company who badly wanted a specific location and were willing to pay extra to get it.

Jacob what’s-his-name would eventually call back, giving her a whole speech about how he could appreciate what a tough decision this must all be for her, but that they would need an answer by the end of the month or else the company would officially be withdrawing their offer.

She had two days left and was nowhere closer to a final answer than she was when he first brought the proposition to her. Every time she felt like she was leaning one way, a new thought would crop up that would have her tilting the other way. On the one hand, this was a lot of money they were talking about. If she wasn’t responsible for this place any more, maybe she could finally take a chance on the little flower boutique she had silently dreamed about owning since she was a teenager. Every time she started thinking like that though, she would immediately start spiraling down the rabbit hole of how this bar was her home.

Except… was it really? Was it honestly her home, or just a place where she worked and lived? How much of it all was just the obligation she felt to her Uncle to keep the place going?

It was never meant to be a permanent thing. She had just graduated college with her MBA, the only thing she ever did in her life that she was truly proud of, the only thing that required hard work that she ever stuck through and completed. The courses were grueling, but she pushed through, mostly motivated by her father insisting she’d never last. Well, she had shown him. 

She refused to end up like him; it was what fueled her through it all. Her dad had gone bankrupt three times, every time he tried, and ultimately failed, at a new business venture. 

And not only did she complete the courses and graduate, but she ended up Valedictorian of her class at Ohio University.

She had been undecided on where she wanted to work afterwards, still riding the high of actually earning her degree and halfheartedly submitting résumés just for the hell of it and to get some feelers out. It was her Uncle Grant who stepped in to help out while she worked on getting a real game plan together.

He was the original owner of this bar, a decent sized roadside style place in the city. From the outside it wasn’t the kind of place that really grabbed your attention, but it always supported a large gathering of misfits. 

The deal was pretty simple in nature. He was sixty-one, with two bum knees from a nasty motorcycle accident five years prior. It should have killed him and almost did. It was getting increasingly harder for him to take care of the place, despite his little staff of two, and retirement was looking more and more like a better idea. But he was dead set against the idea of selling the place. So, he presented her with the prospect of taking over the majority of the office and business side of things.

“Put that fancy degree of yours to good use.”

That’s what he had said. And of course he would need her to pitch in with the more physical, daily tasks that came with running the place. For that, she could stay in the small loft above the bar. Plus he even supplied her with a small salary, just enough that she could take care of necessities. All under the table, of course. He was very against mixing family and taxes. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to get her by until she moved onto her next phase in life. 

It was a pretty sweet deal. What was not to like?

Except, her next phase of life never really came.

She found more and more things that she quite enjoyed about running the bar. The mundane practices were almost like a form of meditation for her: preparing things every morning to be ready to open by 4:00pm, and tedious office work. It lulled her into a sense of security, that one thing she always needed to have in her life in order to function like a real adult. Sure, her Uncle’s name was still on everything, but for all intents and purposes the place was hers. And when he died in 2007 from liver failure, it became hers entirely. She never knew he had a will, let alone that he intended to leave the place to her. 

It was now her name on the lease, and her responsibility to make every call and decision.

She never meant to stay forever, but she became seduced by the comfort of knowing what to expect. Year after year passed and it became easier to stay with the known than to venture out, to try something new just to fail, to crash and burn. Then she’d have to come crawling back to all the jeers about Miss Smarty Pants thinking she was too good to stay here.

Birdie took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds before blowing it out slowly, trying to calm her racing mind. As her thoughts started wandering in circles again, so did her eyes as they landed on her phone she had tossed on the side table when she first came up.

- can i come by?

Such a simple sounding question. It should have an equally simple yes or no answer, but it wasn’t simple. Nothing about Dean Winchester — about her and Dean Winchester, to be precise — was simple. 

Their history began nearly ten years ago and all the dirty, dark secrets she had learned about him since only complicated things more.

She was still just getting her feet wet working for her Uncle when this boy came strutting into the place: young, oh so tall, with a pair of enchanting jade green eyes, a smile she was sure could charm the pants off of just about anybody, and a whole lot of arrogance. 

The cocksure attitude, like the world was his oyster, was enough to keep her from transforming into a drooling, giddy mess. She managed to ask him his order without making a fool of herself.

There was some minor chit chat while she fetched his first beer of the night. She had definitely never seen him around before so she hit him with her standard ‘coming or going? business or pleasure?’ questions. It would take years for her to peel back the many layers that made up one Dean Winchester and learn the true nature of his illustrious family business and what he actually did for a living.

They kept in touch through it all, good, bad, and the ugly, and he was her truest constant in life, after the bar of course. It was during his last visit, however, that things changed drastically and for the worse. At a time when he needed a friend the most, she had ruined it by putting him in jail for something he didn’t do. All because of her history of backing out.

=======

2010

Birdie was awoken in the middle of the night by the all too familiar rumble of the Impala. Groggily, she stumbled out of bed and over to the window to take a peek outside. She was already making her way downstairs when his first knock came, so much softer than usual. The moment she unlocked and opened the door and got her first good look at him, even bathed in the night’s shadows, she could see how utterly broken he looked, how close he was to cracking.

In that moment she just knew. He didn’t need to speak a single word.

They had finally won the war, on their own terms, but it had cost them dearly. It had cost him Sam and she didn’t know how, or if, he ever would be able to recover from it.

She grabbed his hand gently and pulled him in before relocking the door. As she turned back around she saw that he was still just standing there, at a loss. With a hand on his back, she guided him over to the bar where she fully enabled him to drink his sorrows down. Or try to numb them up some, at the very least. 

One of the very first things Birdie had ever learned about him was that he wasn’t the fondest of talking out his feelings, and it was always best not to push and just to let him open up on his own time. So she didn’t try to talk him through things, didn’t try to recite lovely sounding messages of time will heal and Sam was in a beautiful, peaceful place now, that he had single handedly raised the world’s greatest hero never known. She just continued to let him drink in peace and kept a hold of his hand. And when she reached the point that she could no longer refrain from hugging him, she allowed him to hold onto her like a lifeline, even when it felt like she could feel every bit of his broken heart in that crushing hold.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered the soft apology several times, alternating between kissing his temple and running gentle fingers through his hair. His grip tightened every time the words passed her lips.

She eventually got him dragged up to her loft with her.He lay down while she settled in behind him, playing the role of big spoon, continuing to hold him as tightly as she could, as he ultimately gave in to his tears and anguish. He held her left hand tightly in his own over his heart and she placed her forehead between his shoulder blades, silently crying along with him.

As morning came around, when they finally decided their grumbling tummies needed to be attended to, he held her in place a moment longer, bringing their still joined hands up to his lips to breathe a kiss over her knuckles before releasing it.

It was a quiet affair, their usual eggs, bacon, toast and coffee combo being picked at and pushed around by both, forcing small bites down here and there. 

“So,” Birdie ventured out hesitantly. “What…what now?”

She gave a wince at how casual the words came out, but it went unnoticed by Dean as he was still staring intently at his plate.

After several moments of near suffocating silence for Birdie, he finally answered.

“Gonna head to Lisa’s.”

Birdie suddenly felt like time had frozen. 

“…Lisa?”

“Yeah, the one with the kid I told you about before. In Michigan.”

There was nothing but silence for a few moments. Dean finally looked up at Birdie to see the slack-jawed expression on her face.

His own face drew up in confusion. “What?”

She tried to get her mouth working, but her tongue felt so heavy now, trying to block the onslaught of words that wanted to come spilling out.

“I…” She paused to clear the forming lump at the back of her throat. “Why are you going there?”

Dean tilted his head slightly and cleared his throat before answering.“Sam.”

Birdie raised a questioning brow, urging him to elaborate, even though he was clearly uncomfortable. She wasn’t feeling very concerned about his comfort level at the moment.

“I…promised Sam that when all this was over, that I’d walk away, try to live a normal life for once.”

It was like the air had been physically pulled from her lungs.

She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t that. It wasn’t spending such a painfully raw and intimate night together just for him to hit the road to another woman the moment he had a chance. But then, what did it matter? He wasn’t hers, she certainly wasn’t his, they had never had that sort of relationship or even discussed the possibility of one. She knew it wasn’t fair, to harbor any bad feelings or ill will towards him when she never once tried to divulge the deeper feelings and emotions she had developed towards him over the years. Why should he be blamed for something he never had any knowledge over?

“It ain’t like I got any place else to go.”

That one sentence snapped something inside of her that was long out of her control before she had time to try to reign it in.

“Here!” she all but shouted, slamming her hands down on the counter and actually causing him to flinch. “You idiot, you could have stayed here!”

He held his hands up, almost as if to placate the raging storm of emotions that seemed to be building within her. With his chin dipped down so he could capture her line of sight fully, he slowly asked the one question he was unaware would send everything into a full on tail spin.

“Why would I stay here?”

She threw her hands up in exasperation, “For me!” she let out in what could only be described as a cross between a grunt and a sob. She turned away from him when it all dawned on him and the realization hit. 

Years and years of feelings pushed aside and pining from afar, revealed in two simple words. She wiped angrily at her face when she felt the wet trails beginning to track down her face. “You would stay for me,” she concluded, not able to face him fully in her ultimate admittance.

The ensuing silence was near deafening, the loudest she had ever heard in her life.

Of all the ways for this to have come out in the open, why did it have to come out like this? Every beat of silence, every second that went by that wasn’t filled with the sound of his gravelly voice, was all the confirmation she needed: she had been right to stay silent all these years. 

And yet, there was still that glimmer of hope that had been buried down deep within her. The hope that one day this would happen unexpectedly, except in that version it would be like the movies. He would make some overly grand gesture of kissing her silly before informing her that he was just as crazy about her as she was about him, at which point they would laugh at how stupid they had been for wasting so much time, before vowing to make up for it every day for the rest of their lives together.

But this was no movie. It wasn’t a fairytale in disguise, she wasn’t the princess he would sweep off her feet and lead her up the stairwell, and she would be getting no happily ever after. There was no changing this ending.

“Bird, I…" 

She raised her eyes slightly, watching his reflection in the mirror behind the bar and admiring, even now, how beautiful he looked. The early morning shadows peeking through the covered windows were dancing across his face in a near mesmerizing fashion.

He looked utterly lost again. "I never knew…”

Birdie had to close her eyes against the sting of fresh tears building up, not able to stand the shame and self loathing she could already detect in his voice. He was putting this on himself. Classic Dean. He saw her hurting and instantly took ownership of it. She hated that. She hated that he was blaming himself for the mess she had caused. 

It was bad enough this was happening at all, but how selfish could she be for letting it play out now? After everything he had just lost, she was fulfilling her duty to him as a friend by pulling the rug out from under him, making him feel guilty for something that (by her own design) he knew nothing about? What kind of friend was that? She wasn’t worth any more grief than what he was already dealing with.

“You should go,” she mumbled.

He was running a hand over his face when her words halted his movements completely. "What?”

“You should go,” she sniffed, attempting to gather herself as she busied her hands, getting out the little bowls from under the counter that would later be filled with nuts and pretzels. “You’ve got a pretty decent drive ahead of you,” she continued, as she then stacked up their dirty plates. “If you leave now you should be there in time for dinner without even having to break the speed limit. Maybe you can even find a nice scenic route to help decompress…”

She had nearly made it to the kitchen when he cut off her path, taking the plates from her and placing them out of the way before laying his hands on her shoulders to keep her in place.

“No Birdie, we…we can talk, we should talk, and…”

This time she stopped him by placing a hand over one of his.

“No, Dean, really. You should go. It’s fine.” She did her best to keep her tone light, to smile as best as she could, even though it felt more and more like she was about to crumble. 

He grabbed her chin then, forcing her head up so she would have no choice but to actually look at him. She could see on his face that she was nowhere close to coming off as ‘ok’ and she scolded herself for it, wishing she could be as good as he was when it came to turning off the emotional switch. She looked him in the eye, shrugging it all off with an air of 'what can you do?’.

“It’s fine. Go. Go do something for yourself for once. Take a break big guy, you earned it.” He still looked torn, like he wanted to stay and fix things, or like he felt like he should stay. She gave him a wobbly smile. “Please.”

She gave an internal sigh of relief when she saw the resignation finally color his features. He didn’t try to say anything else; they both knew it was a moot point. Instead he pulled her in close, in one of his patented bear hugs that she always cherished so much. They were always like a cocoon of warmth and safety and everything good. Birdie could physically feel him trying to transfer all of his own feelings through that one hug. To let her know how much he truly loved and cared for her, even if it may not have been in the same vein as her.

When he eventually pulled away, he left a lingering kiss on her forehead before backing away and slowly making his way to the door.

Birdie’s mind whirled the whole time.

Don’t go. Stay with me. Pick me. Turn around.

The closer he got to the door the heavier her chest felt. Could she really just let him leave like this? Why couldn’t she ask him to choose her now? Why couldn’t she ask him to try to make things work with her? Why shouldn’t she?

This is a mistake. Don’t let him go. Don’t let him leave like this.

Just as his hand was on the doorknob, her voice broke out to stop him.

“Dean.”

He turned around, waiting to hear what she had to say. And the words were right there on the tip of her tongue, ready to be let free, when suddenly she thought of Sam. That’s why Dean was doing this, to fulfil some sort of dying wish to his baby brother, and that’s what stopped her. Who was she to try to infringe on something like that?

No one. She was no one.

“…drive safe.”

Something unclear settled in his eyes. He dropped his head momentarily before throwing her a weak smile and walking out the door.

The sound of the Impala’s engine starting and fading away would haunt her for a long time to come.

=======

That had been roughly a year ago. A long, lonely year filled with the occasional call to catch up. Her unintended declaration may not have ruined their friendship, but it certainly changed it. Now here she was, mind bouncing back and forth between the documents in her lap and the phone in her hands, trying to decide what to do. 

But she already knew what she was going to do. There was a part of her, subconsciously, that knew from the very beginning what she would do in regards to both situations. 

She would fold. She always did. 

She always put the bar first and she always put off taking a chance in any aspect of her life. She was a creature of habit. It was simply easier to go the path of least resistance, because the idea of failing or losing something was far too terrifying. She’d rather sleepwalk her way through a life that was comfortable enough than risk not having the security of a roof over her head. She wasn’t brave enough to really take a chance in any area of her life. 

It didn’t make the regret and longing hurt any less, though. 

The worst part of it was that it wasn’t even that hard of a fix. It wasn’t as if she was in her twilight years, too old to start over… not even close. It just always came back to the fact that she was too much of a chickenshit. 

Her parents’ mistakes and failures had ingrained a fear of uncertainty within her, as if it was printed in her very DNA. She knew that was why she clung so desperately to the guaranteed security of Dean’s friendship and why she always bailed at the last minute when it came to taking a chance on her own dreams. She needed that safety net of a sure thing after watching her mom and dad fall without one so many times. 

Plus there was the obligation side of things. That was something Dean had always understood. Even when he would try to encourage her to do something that would truly make her happy, he still empathized with the idea of feeling like you had to stick with and honor your family. They were peas in a pod in that sense. Her uncle had generously given her this place, all so she would be set in life and so he could keep his beloved bar in the family. Wouldn’t it be ungrateful of her to sell it off now herself? To her, it felt like a slap in the face. One she didn’t have the heart to make.

She glanced around her little loft, eyes falling on the corkboard that was filled with postcards Dean had sent her from every city and town he visited. They were all the standard ‘Greetings From..’ type that you could pick up at any local gas station. She tried to imagine not being there and she couldn’t. She couldn’t imagine not hearing that creaky sound of the old stairs as she walked up and down them each day. She couldn’t imagine not being able to observe the vast amount of colorful characters she met while working. It may not have been the life she wanted or would have chosen, but it wasn’t a bad one by any means.

As her uncle would always say, why fix what isn’t broken? 

But maybe it wasn’t about fixing things, maybe it was about enhancing them. Once more her thoughts drifted to Dean. She’d bet he was still up. She wondered if he ever did this: perched himself in a chair somewhere by a window where he could look out over the night sky, thinking about her in some way like she always seemed to be doing. 

Maybe she shouldn’t answer this time. Maybe it was time to give up the ruse of being fine with the way things were. She’d come close once, a drunken night with her mom that loosened her lips just a little too much.

“If I knew it was going to hurt this much I wish I never laid eyes on him.”

That’s what she had said, but as much as Birdie wished it was the case, it simply wasn’t true. She didn’t understand it, how compelling he could be. How his smile could light up your world for a while, how he could make you feel like you were the most important thing when he gave you his undivided attention. How she could tell him absolutely anything, regardless of how silly or stupid she felt about it, and he would still make her feel like the old cardigan that nobody else wanted but that he still appreciated. Or how his very existence made her feel whole, somehow, even if it wasn’t in the way she truly desired. She didn’t understand it, but she knew she needed it as much as she needed this bar.

The sudden beep of a new message alert brought her back to the real world. She lifted her phone again to look at the screen.

- Bird, please

He rarely called her Bird. 

She had learned over the years it was like a safe word of sorts for him. If he called her Bird, it was his way of sending out the S.O.S and asking for help. It meant he really needed her. And wasn’t that what friends were for? Wasn’t that what she had been telling him for ten years now? If he ever needed anything, just call.

This was him calling.

Birdie rose from her chair and headed to her dining area, tossing the contract in the garbage bin before typing out a quick message.

- i’ll leave the light on for ya

[quidfree]

hi! hope you're well and that you're having a good day:) I absolutely adore LMV - I genuinely think it's the best fic I've ever read. anyway, the point of this ask was that I was wondering whether you had any thoughts about sirius as a godfather? like, was he suited for the job, did he actually do a good job... idk, maybe you've answered that question before, in that case, sorry! and ofc don't stress abt answering:))

this is so nice of you ty!!!

ive never talked about dogfather sirius, actually!! what an interesting pair of questions.... i would have to say a qualified yes to both?

was sirius suited for the job: personality-wise, maybe not entirely (raising a child alone in the event of jily deaths would have been Rough, and he’s not exactly a stable parental unit, not to mention he would have spoiled harry rotten), BUT he has the most important prerequisite, which is undying love and loyalty for the potters and for harry, and that means he would have done everything in his power to be a good parent figure to him, which is what really matters, so. not to mention that jily realistically weren’t contemplating he would have to be godfather alone for the majority of harry’s life- with jily around he could have been just The Coolest Godfather Ever instead of harry’s first living parental figure who didn’t treat him like shit.

did he actually do a good job? i would say a resounding yes. bearing in mind he was stuck in azkaban for twelve years (let’s not get into that), we only actively see him godparent harry for three years (plus when he was a baby). obviously baby harry was spoilt v much by his dogfather; what we see of sirius + teen harry also speaks favourably of him, i think. ok, little bit of a rough start what with the unhinged prisoner vibe, but the FIRST thing sirius does when free is go check up on harry- and he keeps tabs via crookshanks etc once at school, knows his interests well enough to send him the firebolt, and he values harry’s opinions enough to not murder peter on the spot despite his thirteen year revenge vendetta. obviously, the fact harry is the spitting image of someone sirius hasnt seen except for in his nightmares for over a decade doesn’t hurt, but he’s just so awkwardly sweet to harry afterwards- when he offers harry to come live with him, expecting him to refuse and completely understanding of it, it’s so endearing (and it always broke my heart how excited they both were about it- i bet sirius was thinking about another time a potter asked to live together). and from the start sirius ALWAYS speaks to harry like a whole person, not a child to be kept in the dark (which, if everyone else had done, looking at you dumbledore...)- the speech he gives him before he escapes is so important for harry to hear, especially from someone who knew his parents. sirius is always so careful to tell harry things about james and lily. now, it’s not that sirius treating harry like an adult would be ideal on its own, and i do think in part the issue is that he skipped his entire childhood and harry looks so much like james, but i also don’t think sirius actually treats harry too much like a grown man, apart from slipups- just like a grown teen. he advises him against threats, tells him the edgy backstories harry SHOULD know (and no other adult ever wants to tell him), looks after him as best he can (HE LIVES IN A CAVE EATING BONES TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM), listens to his teen melodrama. even when he’s fucking up by encouraging harry’s risk-taking i don’t think he’s treating him like an adult- he’s treating him like a *marauder*, because at that age, that’s what he or james would have done; being able to make informed choices is what sirius would have wanted at his age. i don’t think molly or sirius necessarily have the better argument- both make good points; sirius gets what harry wants and molly gets what harry might need even if he doesn’t want it, but that makes perfect sense- molly is an older woman who’s raised seven children, and sirius is in his early thirties and lived with kids for (1) year. james and sirius were order members by age /eighteen/ and sirius was in azkaban at /twenty-one/- he was basically a kid HIMSELF before he got put in the torture prison. i always found it so unfair that literally none of the other adults ever mention the debilitating mental issues he must be suffering from- remember the lifelong PTSD hagrid got from a MONTH there???- and that’s without even mentioning dumbledore’s purposeful exacerbating of them. not to say that mental health excuses poor parenting, but sirius both /isn’t a parent/ and really does very well at filling that role anyways, on the whole, so i think he can be cut some slack for once in his life. harry loves sirius SO MUCH and sirius loves him right back- and sirius teaches him some of the most important lessons in the whole series, even if he himself never managed to learn them- lessons that i really think shape the adult harry becomes, and the kind of lessons his parents might have taught him. so overall i’d give him kudos- and considering the absolute bullshit he’s living through, with james and lily dead, azkaban sucking the light out of him for over a decade, peter running free, and dumbledore QUARANTINING HIM IN THE HOUSE WHERE HIS ABUSIVE DEAD MOTHER IS (?!?!), i would say he does a stellar fucking job.

anyways harry & sirius’ relationship is so important to the series- even the GP was upset when sirius dies in OOTP, largely because everyone could see how bad it hit harry. that scene in dumbledore’s office? oof. they just care about each other so v much and we were robbed of a lifetime of sirius as harry’s absolute fav adult. if sirius had held onto harry that day- if dumbledore hadn’t decided to place him with abusive bigots for a plan which would only pay off by OOTP- i honestly think sirius would have outlived the series. because with harry he’d have been less unhinged by grief, able to testify properly, gotten support from other order members, not gone to azkaban- and with harry he would have had a reason to live. thirteen years of raising harry would have made harry the snarky little fucker he is at his core by age eleven, confident and happy and very good at quidditch indeed; thirteen years would have made sirius as whole as he can get. they would have patched things up with remus. there’d be no OOTP tragedy of errors. sirius would have punched dumbledore at some point. harry would have sent a pic of him and his new friends over week 1 of hogwarts and sirius would have punched through a wall and then calmly strolled over to hogwarts and taken ron’s pet rat over to minerva mcgonnagal, where unspeakable things happened to it. he would have gently butted heads with hermione (but won her over via crookshanks if nothing else) and gotten on very well with ron; snape would barely have been able to be such a dick to him because sirius would have gleefully sent him howlers for every minute of his day until he cracked. lucius on the school board terrorizing the other parents? not on sirius “billionaire heir to the toujours pur line” black’s watch- he’d happily invest even more obnoxious wealth into the school fund to get first call, not to mention lucius’ imperius excuse would not get very far with sirius around. “who’s nicholas flamel? we can’t ask adults- we’d get in trouble with the teachers and our parents are either muggles or wouldn’t know- oh wait nevermind, sirius, who’s nicholas flamel?” no more expelliarmus-ing for four years; harry Trained Duellist By Age 11 more like. dobby the house-elf? oi dobby sirius is family too- now spit it all out, won’t you? chamber of secrets? yeah, sirius knows what that is. parseltongue? yeah, sirius is familiar, and fuck those other kids for being weird to harry about it, does he want to come home for the holidays? weird creepy diary? oh, sirius’ family will have Magicke Moste Evile around somewhere. book 3 is just Harry’s Holiday: The Book because there’s no sirius subplot. you think snape would have dared treat remus the way he does with sirius hovering around paying half his checks? i think the fuck not. you bet your ass they had box seats for the whole of gryffindor house at the Quidditch World Cup. barty crouch? yeah, sirius knows THAT asshole- and remembers his son. catch harry whizzing through all the challenges minus the nerves ahead of time while sirius and remus do half the investigating for him. yule ball? no sweat, just go with ron; that’s what james and sirius would have done. if the maze went the way it goes in the books, “moody” wouldn’t even have been able to drag harry off without sirius intervening. and sirius “ptsd” black would have been The One Person who Got harry’s feelings in OOTP- not to mention sirius Skilled Legilimens black could have coopted that shit from snape and gotten harry up to scratch. sirius-raised-harry would have given umbridge twice as much shit. no kreacher lying here- and harry has sirius’ mirror anyways. so no massive drama in the ministry, and no suicidal recklessness / desperate first taste of freedom on sirius’ part means no veil incident even if they got there. hence book six through seven going Quite Differently. sirius shows up book six to be DADA teacher, why not. him and remus think it’d be funny, and besides he’s petty enough to steal the job from snape. move over firenze, new hot teacher in town. half the books are avoidable.

[anotherashley]

Hello! I'm the one who sent the messages and I'm really sorry I sprung that on you during the holidays. It's okay if you want to share it with others. I'm really grateful you took the time to read all of it and I hope I was respectful of how I went about the fic. It's still one of the fics that touched me dearly with how raw it is (perhaps because of our similar experiences) and I will continue to support you and your writing. 💜

I apologize for the lateness of this response the holidays have been a busy time and I didn’t want to rush through my response to you and have it come off as careless in any way so I needed to take some time to think about how and what I wanted to say.

That being said for those of you who haven’t read the fic and are thinking about it please realize there are spoilers below and discussion of triggering/possibly triggering content within the fic.

Hi! I just wanted to say that I love love love your Ricochet fic although I have a little concern I wanted to bring up? I hope this does not offend you in any way but is it possible you could tag Blake the OFC (add it to the tags) and make sure everyone knows she has a pretty huge role in the fic? There are lots of things that triggered me reading it such as the abuse which is expected because it was mentioned in the notes but Jonny’s sickness, the vomiting, them being intimate while Blake is in the vicinity, substance use, substance abuse, juvenile/detention facility, domestic violence, dysfunctional familial relationships, etc.

 I know some writers choose not to tag these things to avoid spoilers and I still continued reading Ricochet because your writing is really exceptional but I’ve always trusted writers to tag potentially triggering issues within a fic and it was really difficult for me reading. It triggered me because Pat and I had similar situations with my father being abusive and my mother turning a blindeye despite it. I know it’s not much and I have no right to request any of this to you, but it would mean a lot if you could possibly ease us a little bit into the fic. I’m a strong person and despite expecting the abuse due to the notes, I wasn’t quite prepared for everything else and I had to stop for a little bit and take a breath before I can read again. Maybe not for me, but it would mean a lot if other readers who have similar experiences and triggers as I do and are not strong enough to withstand the surprise of these potentially triggering issues to have these things included in the additional tags. 

The Blake one (my sister and I are absolute fans of yours and have been reading the fic since it was first published!) was a trigger for my sister because she wasn’t expecting it and felt that the major inclusion of an OC to the narrative is a deciding factor of whether she reads a fic or not so I don’t know how to carefully bring it up without sounding like I’m demanding for you to change just because we’re sensitive of certain issues. I have so much respect for you and your writing and have been an avid reader so I have been contemplating whether to bring this up or not, but I really, really hope you don’t take this as offense and that your writing is ultimately yours to treat however you want. We will respect whatever you choose to do. I just thought that maybe there might be someone else out there who happen to be mentally, emotionally, and physically affected by the same triggers that I have but aren’t as strong as I am can be comforted and eased by the idea that they know what they’re in for when they read the fic through the additional tags. It would really, really be so much help if you can possibly consider this. I know you’re a wonderful person and would never put anyone in harm’s way so I’m respectfully bringing this to your attention.

Some things can hurt others in ways that may not be applicable to you and me unintentionally and maybe in little ways we can help change that experience. It’s also because not all of us have accounts outside of AO3 and I feel embarrassed to ask so much of your time to explain the issues revolving around the fic to us (I only figured out the ask tab on Tumblr a few weeks ago! I’m an old noodle.). Thank you so much for writing Ricochet and for continuously bestowing to us your talent for writing. I will continue to support you no matter what action you decide to take on this matter. Happy winter holidays! - Anonymous

First off I want to apologize for any distress my fic may have caused you and that I may have caused you by not tagging things. My initial thought on using the “creator chose not to use archive warnings” tag and not tagging more specific aspects of the fic was, as you mentioned, to not scare off potential readers. But I can see the error now in making that choice and for that I’m truly sorry. My intention is never to hurt anyone and I feel awful that I have.

I’m also sorry to hear your sister possibly isn’t enjoying Blake. To be honest when I first began writing her I wasn’t sure how big of a role she’d play in Patrick and Jonny’s story, but she grew on me and I became quite fond of her and her ability to relate to Patrick’s trauma while also being an objective character when at times Jonny and Patrick can’t be because they’re too tangled up in each other. I understand worrying that an OC may come between the main pairing but she’s just a friend and isn’t involved with them sexually or romantically. She does witness them being intimate once, but that’s more about these three teenagers having a lack of boundaries with each other because they feel safe together than it is implying she’s part of their romantic relationship. She’s not. So I’m not sure how to warn about her aside from just mentioning she exists and I would hope that them having a friend wouldn’t deter someone from reading or giving my fic a try.

I will be adding a spoilery end note to the fic with a link to this post and a more specific list of the triggering aspects of the fic. Here’s the list of things I’ve come up with so far and if you can think of anything else you’d like me to add please let me know.

abuse, discussions of physical abuse, discussions of sexual abuse, threats of sexual assault (although no sexual assault happens during the fic), discussions of prostitution, discussions of brain trauma, illness due to brain trauma (vomiting), discussions of abuse in relation to sexual relationships, drug use, drug abuse, rough consensual sex, discussions of sexual dynamics, juvenile/detention facility, domestic violence, dysfunctional familial relationships

Lastly I want to say thank you for your kind words and for supporting my writing. It means so much to me and I hope in the future you and anyone else feels like they can talk to me about these types of things. I promise I take it to heart and I value your thoughts and opinions. ❤️❤️❤️

[gloryblooded]

with a gif of achilles/austin being a major mood ( i mean, who doesn’t want to nap all the time ? ), i hope to catch your attention & say HELLO !   i’m hanna, i’m 22, and i use she/her pronouns! i’m a hufflepuff, a libra, and ISFJ ( what a shocking combo, i know ). anyway, over here i’ll be playing everyone’s favorite disaster hero, achilles, and his new mortal self, austin pelham. i’m so excited for this group and getting to write & plot with all of you. 

anyway, below the cut you’ll find some info about both achilles and austin ! it got kinda lengthy ( especially achilles’ part ) + it’s messily written. sdfsfdsdhsfbh im truly sry about that & pls still love us.

ACHILLES.

disclaimer: i’ve utilized several sources to form my portrayal of achilles, namely the iliad and the song of achilles. i have not read the pjo books, but i googled achilles’ role in it & i’ll incorporate that to my characterization to the best of my abilities.

so, achilles. a son of peleus, a king, and thetis, a nereid. boy was destined for greatness long before he was even conceived; great enough that the gods chose to dilute it by giving thetis to a mortal man. despite this, his destiny was to still become the greatest warrior of his generation. thetis, wanting to further protect him, dipped him in the river styx and boom, the powers of almost complete invulnerability ( except that one heel ) were achilles’. 

his childhood was actually quite lonely? sure, he had peleus’ orphan boys to keep him company & plenty of admirers, but there was always a certain distance between them, especially he had separate, private lessons. that is until a certain awkward young prince arrived in peleus’ court. achilles was instantly smitten ( a shoutout to that time when he became that ‘g2g chicken’ meme after their first kiss ) and this feeling just became stronger through the years as they studied under chiron’s tutelage at mount pelion. 

AND THAT’S IT. NOTHING HAPPENED AFTER THAT. ACHILLES GOT HIS HAPPY ENDING.

just kidding. unfortunately :sob emoji:

tHEN PARIS HAD TO DO HIS THING AND RUIN ACHILLES’ HAPPINESS ( thanks a lot dude ). the war started and, despite the ordeal with thetis where achilles was yeeted to lycodemes’ court & ended up knocking up deidamia, he was off to fight in the trojan war ( with his emotional support philtatos right by his side ).

during his years there, he does his thing. he fights, kills more trojans and their allies than anyone else, is a great leader to his men, and spends his free time with his boyfriend. also i wanted to add that he was not as hostile toward briseis as he was in tsoa. like, ofc they weren’t as close as patrochilles or pat and bri, but he wasn’t as jealous as implied in tsoa. 

anyway, now we’re getting closer to that period of time. stuff goes fairly normally, but then aging meninist ( idk how to spell his name & im too lazy to look it up, but u know who i mean ) decides to dishonor him by unlawfully taking briseis from him. and oh boy, do we get to see achilles’ non-chill side. victim-playing & stubborn spite game is strong af. someone tries to reason with him? he becomes that ‘i suddenly can’t read i don’t know’ gif. 

anyway, shit turns bad enough that he eventually, although reluctantly, consents to patroclus donning his armor and leading the myrmidons out there. that obvs ends super badly and achilles, true to himself, reacts even worse. he goes ballistic and even fights a river before he finally gets what he wants --- hector dead. after that, he stops caring. he fights, sure, but every single time he wishes his death would come. death eludes him for a while after that, and when it finally arrives & that arrow lodges itself in his heel, achilles vc: finally some good fucking food.

except sike, not ! his bitchass of a son delays the reunion he’s been yearning for. achilles curses him & 100% disowns him because he dared to disrespect his final wish. bUT EVENTUALLY HIS PERSON ARRIVED AND ACHILLES WAS SO !!!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE ALL WAS FINALLY GOOD. achilles got a good dose of positive character development bc he realizes the error of his ways when he was alive, but most importantly, he never had to part with his one true love.

until the gods got themselves into another mess & dragged other, innocent people with them. smh ( uncle sam and/or the gods better square up when achilles regains his memories bc how dare they interrupt his lovely afterlife with pat!!!! )

AUSTIN.

so, enter the man achilles thinks he now is: austin pelham. his full name is austin alexander pelham-niarchos, but for the sake of simplicity, he goes by austin pelham most days. he is the only child of us army general & greek heiress to a shipping empire. not really a happy marriage, but they wouldn’t divorce either. both adored austin, though, so the boy didn’t pay too much attention to his parents’ marital struggles.

austin’s future was laid out from a young age too. he was to follow in his father’s footsteps and become an army official as well, possibly one of the greatest this nation had ever seen. considering his natural athleticism and gift for commanding crowds, it seemed a feasible future path & austin himself accepted it without complaining.

however, he was a mere kid when all this was told to him, so he couldn’t be too bothered. sure, he excelled in school ( his mother insisted he should only attend the best institutions ), but mostly he enjoyed the perks that came with having been born to a lap of such luxury. 

contrary to popular belief, austin had basically no true friends; sycophants and other admirers, yes, but no one he truly bonded with. he wouldn’t have minded finding such person, but they never came along & that was fine with austin. he was independent enough to “survive alone.”

so years have gone by, manhattan’s boy king has graduated from harvard with a degree in history, and it’s time for him to join the army, right? sike, no ! austin’s mother had never been particularly enthusiastic about the idea of her son joining the army & possibly getting killed in action, but this is the first time she has a major argument with her husband about it. 

before he could do anything about it, she made her move. she used her connections to get him his movie role and manipulated austin by telling him that if he were to abandon his military plans & pursue a career as an actor, he could achieve more fame than he had ever dreamed of. austin, being a trusting person, had no reason to believe otherwise, so he accepted his mother’s offer and began working as an actor.

and what a rise to stardom it was. after his role, he got more and more offers, most of which were action / war films. austin did not mind being known as an action star; those were his favorite type of movies to film anyway. recently he finished filming what is supposed to be next spring’s ( & year’s ) biggest blockbuster and now relocated back to new york city where he plans to stay for a few months at least.

personality wise, i’d say he is most similar to pre-trojan war achilles ( when he’s at mt. pelion & lycodemes’ court ). he still has that certain brand of innocence to him and fairly easy to manipulate if you know where to strike. however, he has earned a reputation of being somewhat challenging to work with ( he knows what he wants / how he wants something done & isn’t afraid to demand this respect ). this hasn’t tamed the constant flow of work offers, though, because a) he has a way with the crowd, so fans love him, b) money is guaranteed due to his large crowd of followers, and c) he always gets the job done when he sets his mind to it. slightly more prone to making bad decisions, since he doesn’t have his impulse control person. austin is often up for a good time, though, and an evening with him won’t be a boring one.

AND THAT’S ABOUT IT, I THINK ! I DON’T YET HAVE A CONNECTIONS PAGE UP, BUT I’LL START WORKING ON IT ASAP. IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, FEEL FREE TO MSG ME BECAUSE I’M UP FOR P MUCH WHATEVER. I’LL DO MY BEST TO COME UP WITH IDEAS MYSELF & MSG YOU LOVELY PEOPLE! ugh im so excited for this group!!

[earthangel]

Hi I hope it's OK to ask you, I just recently got a tarot deck for my birthday and when I saw that ask you answered about readings I wondered if you could maybe give me some tips on how to get started? How did you get into tarot and the meanings of the cards? I really liked the approach you described in that ask. Thank you for your time :)

of course, i'm happy to help!! i love talking abt tarot 💕 this got a bit long tho!!

for a bit of background, i've sort of always known abt tarot? but i thought only mysterious weird-looking women were able to understand the hundreds of cards they seemed 2 have in their hands ahsgha n since my family is pretty religious, they never rly wanted anything 2 do w ""witchcraft"" (even tho tarot isn't inherently witchcraft-related) but last year i educated myself n lit up again my interest for tarot so i bought a deck, learned the basics n started reading!! n the more readings i do, the more i fall in love w the art of tarot 💕

my number one tip is to ofc first get a deck! also forget the idea that u have 2 Instantly Spiritually Connect w ur deck At First Sight; any 5$, small, plain deck will do!

secondly, read up on the meanings. the 'usual' tarot decks (n also those i own) have 78 cards so if i explain all 78 meanings it's gonna b a bit long ahsgha here's a cheat sheet w all the meanings! this is just for u 2 get started n know what card/suit* means what, so it's VERY very basic. i use the biddytarot.com website for a more detailed explanation of each card + what they mean when they are reversed*!

my 3rd n most important tip, is 2 just! do! readings! practice! lots!!! the more u practice, the more u memorize the meanings bc some cards will come up often (depending on what recurring message ur deck wants 2 tell u) n you'll b bound 2 memorize them. so practice lots! don't be afraid of Being Obligated to memorize all 78 cards right off the bat; give urself room for trial n error, for practice mistakes, etc! u don't have 2 take tarot reading too seriously; in fact, don't! in the end this is a hobby, have fun w it 💕

*about the 78-card deck: that type of deck is widly used bc its card meanings are more widly known (when you'll b browsing for decks, you'll find some that only have 30, 67, or 90 cards, but let's focus on the 78-card deck rn since it's more "common"): this deck is divided in two arcanas (major and minor arcana), one of which (the minor arcana) is divided in 4 suits: wands (represent fire + decision-making n 'doing'), swords (rep air + 'thinking'), cups (rep water n emotional matters) and pentacles (rep earth + financial/material/career matters)

the major arcana has 22 cards that are placed in a way that represents a person's life path. here's a longer explanation on biddy's website!!

the minor arcana is like ur usual cards game deck, except every suit's theme means something in particular + the numbers and the king, queen, page cards also mean something. here's another better explanation also on biddy's website

that's it for tarot basics!! (additional tips:) also know that u don't always have 2 have a one-card reading!! u can have a two, three, ten, 78-card reading... up 2 u!! although i'd start off w a small-card spread ahsgha u can get on the big guys when u know ur deck a bit more! i also like doing an introductory spread whenever i buy i new deck? ask its strengths, weaknesses, what sort of questions they prefer 2 answer or not,... here and here are a couple of ideas for that kinda spread! but u don't have 2 do it tho! again, up 2 u!! tarot is very flexible despite having 78 distinct cards where all of them have different meanings ahsgha

good luck of u decide 2 take on tarot!! i hope u do!! it's such a fun hobby + u get 2 get advice on personal stuff n help ppl by giving advixe 2 them!! & don't stress if u sometimes u still have 2 look up the meaning of a card, i still do ahsgah

keep me updated!! 💕

[stopforamoment]

Part Four: Dreckskerl (Series 18, Part 4 of 9)

Series Eighteen: The Conference, Day One (9 Parts) Part Four: Dreckskerl (Series 18, Part 4 of 9) My masterlist is at the end of my bio.

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three) Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,042 Rating: M for Language Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh. Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3 for always being my sounding board! Thank you @cora-nova @silviasutton1989 @bobasheebaby​ @riseandshinelittleblossom​ for being my thirsty Bastien friends and for still being a part of the journey! Series Summary: This focuses on day one of the conference and Rinda’s interactions as a professional, friend, and girlfriend.

Chapter Summary: Rinda presents at the conference and later her temper gets the best of her when she’s disrespected by male colleagues. Author’s note—I don’t speak French so I used Google Translate. If there are glaring errors, please let me know and thank you!

Dreckskerl

Bastien stayed for part of Rinda’s panel presentation before attending a presentation geared for security personnel. When the moderator introduced the panel members, each person was introduced with their academic titles and positions, except for one person. Bastien saw Rinda’s brows furrow and watched how she scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it over to the man. When the paper slid back she widened her eyes and shook her head in disbelief. The moderator was about to begin the discussions when Rinda politely interrupted. “Excuse me, but one of my colleagues needs further introductions. Kyrie Tagmatarcha Callas Mr. Major Callas served in the Greek military for over 20 years. We are very fortunate that he is here today to share his expertise and perspective with us.” She turned to Major Callas. “Thank you, sir. And thank you for your service.” Bastien gave an appreciative nod as Rinda turned her head and calmly held eye contact with the shocked moderator until he averted his gaze. His Tria was a team player, and no one disrespected another member of her team. Rinda’s presentation went well and she began making new friends (she hated the term “networking”), but she stayed in groups with other teachers and administrators. It wasn’t until the lunch break that she had a chance to even see any of the security staff who were also attending the conference. She searched for Bastien and Drake in the room and she was able to make eye contact with Bastien. He seemed to be having a good time, talking with Drake and another security officer. But still. The dynamic in the room wasn’t good. Rinda was wearing a suit because she presented, but she planned on wearing professional clothes the second day also, like many of the other teachers and administrative staff. There were some security officers who were wearing a suit, but some panels included self-defense drills, so most were wearing the appropriate clothing. Even if Rinda wanted to participate in one of their sessions, she wasn’t dressed for it. Throughout lunch the security staff stayed in their own groups and the teachers stayed in their own groups. It made sense because people often continued their conversations from the panels they attended, but the divide between them was clear. Rinda grabbed her brains and began jotting notes in the book for ways to fix this as she continued to help with Cordonia’s security program—and host Cordonia’s own conference. Then she whispered something to Nadia, and the ladies grabbed their plates and drinks and went over to a table with empty seats to introduce themselves to some of the security officers. Unfortunately the goodwill gesture didn’t go as planned. One of the men assumed the ladies weren’t interested in having a professional conversation during lunch, and his friends quickly lowered themselves to his level. Rinda stood up in fury and addressed the ringleader. “Μη γίνεσαι μαλάκας”  Don’t be an asshole. “We were just trying to break up the obvious divide between the teachers and security officers, not come on to you.” At the same time Nadia was rolling her eyes in disgust. “Putain de bordel de merde! C’est vraiment un trou de cul, celui-là!” Jesus Fucking Christ. That guy’s a real asshole.

Rinda raised her voice and spoke to Nadia, although she held her gaze with the men, her words obviously directed at them. “Ah, ma cocotte. Ce n'est pas de ta faute. Vous devez avoir vos règles. Hey honey. It's not your fault. You must have your period.

She turned to Nadia. “Je suis tellement ennuyé avec ça. Allons-y.” I’m so fucking bored with this shit. Let’s go.

Rinda threw in a scathing German phrase for good measure. “Was für Dreckskerl.” What a filthy pig. What a bastard.

Slowly the lunch room grew quiet as people realized an altercation was taking place. Bastien and Drake stood up to walk over to Rinda, but Tagmatarcha Callas was closer. “Ladies, may I be of assistance?” He drew back in surprise when he saw the golden topaz fury in Rinda’s eyes, but she gave him a genuine smile. “No Tagmatarcha Callas, but thank you for offering. My friend and I meant to get more of the security officers and teachers to interact, instead of sitting on opposite sides of the room, but it didn’t go as well as we planned.” She rolled her eyes and shrugged before turning to Nadia. “I think we should just sit back on our side of the room before I make things worse.”

Callas looked around the room as they walked away. Rinda was right. There was an obvious divide and based on his interaction with her during the panel presentation, he knew she had a genuine interest in bridging that divide. “Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.” It was the voice he used in the field when he needed to issue commands or rally his troops. “I would like to invite any teachers to join me and my friends at my table so we can share ideas about security issues in our schools.” Rinda and Nadia were almost to their table when they turned around in surprise. They nodded at each other and walked back to Callas. Rinda looked over at Bastien and Drake, a plea in her eyes, and Bastien smiled as he stood up.

“Would anyone on the other side of the room like to switch seats with me so we can meet more people and exchange ideas?” Rinda gave Bastien a grateful smile. She knew he hated initiating introductions and making small talk, so she knew how much this gesture meant.

She purposely stepped over to Bastien and Drake as they crossed the room. “Thank you, Drake” she whispered.

“Heh, it’s okay.”

“And thank you, Tiger.”

Their hands were full as they carried their plates and drinks, but Bastien leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “You’re welcome, Tria.” He snickered. “You told me that you learned conversational French from Grandma Lorinda. Did she teach you all of that?” Rinda grinned and shook her head as she continued to walk toward Callas’ table with Nadia.

Slowly some of the people in the room switched seats, and Rinda smiled at Nadia and Callas. It was a start.