#without my feelings getting in the way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

valpuduzz · 3 months

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this crush shit has me extremely fucked up I HATE IT

#the meowing of a cat 🐱#heart eyes kitty 😻#not a day goes by where i dont think of him and not a day goes by where i dont feel extremely fucking guilty for it #i feel like such a terrible person for crushing on a taken guy. i know i cant control my feelings but i wish i could #and the more i talk to him the more feelings i develop. if someone knows how to stop this PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE #sorry for being angsty today i just cant get him out of my head and i hate it #he's so sweet and nice and wonderful and funny and attractive and he deserves to have his relationship in peace #without my feelings getting in the way #i dont bother him about that cuz that would be a REAL asshole move on my end. it's just internal thoughts #i hate knowing that someone is unobtainable and no matter how many times i remind myself of that. the feelings just grow stronger #okay no more angst. i just had to get this out of my system #talking about it is the only way that makes this bearable even though idk if that's how i should be going along with this....

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 1 year

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christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents.#and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention.#kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust!#bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

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bittwitchy · 3 months

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some new sad girl guy spring dialogue for sebby!

also bonus bc its summer 13 now and i already gave him a bouquet

#I was at 5 hearts on spring day 23 year 1 #as it turns out if you're lucky you can get a ton of flounder really early now to give him a lot of liked gifts #i'm like 99% sure these are new #i dont recall seeing them before with OR without mods #I'm playing without mods rn tho #stardew valley #sebastian stardew valley #sdv spoilers #1.6 spoilers #1.6 update #stardew valley 1.6 #sdv 1.6 #like every time i've asked seb out before its been 'i cant believe you feel the same way' so like #i'm FAIRLY positive this is new #or i've just never been lucky enough to get alternative dialogue #MY GUYYYYY #depression cw #1k

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bivampir · 2 years

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it's SO funny that when asked what he had to do to prepare for his role in IWTV Sam Reid says he had to learn how to play the piano, learn to speak French, Italian, and English with a French accent. Bailey read IWTV religiously and added her own comments, and kept an actual fucking journal she wrote entirely as Claudia. meanwhile Jacob Anderson, when asked the same question, just responds with “oh nothing, i was already emo”. icons and legends only

#I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND #JUST TO BE CLEAR #I don't think Jacob didn't put a lot of effort into his Louis he's an incredibly talented actor and makes Louis everything he shouldve been #he's legit amazing and the way you as a viewer get a very clear sense of who Louis is and what's he like IMMEDIATELY after meeting him #not to mention how fucking HARD it is to play a deeply repressing character without making them feel actually emotionless.#and Jacob fucking nails it #NOT TO MENTION THE AMERICAN ACCENTS????? TWO DISTINCT ACCENTS THAT ARE BOTH SO PLAUSIBLE I WAS SHOCKED TO LEARN HE'S FUCKING BRI'ISH?#I JUST THINK HIS RESPONSE IS FUCKING HILARIOUS #IWTV #Jacob Anderson #Bailey Bass #Sam Reid #interview with the vampire #iwtv cast #amc iwtv #my posting #wow it's been a while #3rd degree failpost #didn't even notice this broke 1k 😭😭😭

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mumblesplash · 6 months

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part 2!!!! [read part one here]

transcript below the cut arranged into stanzas to help show where the rhymes are:

“that’s why they brought gem in? as a failsafe?” as a pawn. we were told to point her at whoever we need gone

“gem won’t hurt her allies. …yet.” the curse she carries will it’s had its eye on her since she lost the other eye she was specially selected for her hunting skill it’s quite the high honor. “wow. how generous.” we try

think about it: why does almost no one fight the curse? “given how fast scott killed skizz last season, i can guess.” [“any pain you spare your friends, you’ll have to suffer worse”?] it’s designed to shut down higher reasoning with stress

#if you still can't see the rhyme scheme try reading it out loud #if that doesn't work uh. idk. can't help you #my art #grian #geminitay #smajor1995 #bdoubleo100 #inthelittlewood #secret life #grian and his terrible horrible no good very bad eldritch coworkers: the sequel #cant wait to post the next part so i can be like 'my three secret life comics. and yes they all rhyme'#this one narratively doesn't work nearly as well as a standalone compared to part 1 #however i accidentally went way too hard and could probably upload the middle page + second to last panel as their own separate art pieces #tbh i'm considering putting an explanation of everything below the readmore buuut i don't feel like it atm. :3 later maybe #me and my 20+ life series headcanons i only allude to without explicitly stating don't need to explain ourselves #still experimenting with this webtoon-esque vertical comic style #still not sure i like it #it gets long too quickly #among other things #but it's very easy to read on a phone so

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thefrsers · 23 days

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Everything that matters, is already in this room.

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 5 months

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Turtle Takedown Teamwork.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #tulu xuanwu #Something about changing the action sequence to something gentle is hilarious to me.#The lesson here is “Be nice to turtles. They are gentle creatures. And many are very endangered.”#don't get me wrong here; I love this scene a lot. LWJ's string technique is one of my favoyrite things.#We do get a fair amount of LWJ fighting but I always loved how the theme of strings comes into play.#There is actually a lot to unpack with LWJ being associate with 'strings'.#The musicianship: Of dedication and rigor in one's practice.#The tension between following along a path or composing your own way forwards (playing what has been written vs composing)#A string is a tightly coiled/taunt entity; The same tension that makes it sing so beautifully can be it's downfall if pushed too hard.#And as a non-musical string - something that binds. Be it to his sect and family or how he binds his fate to WWX -#LWJ cannot exist without his binds. It is not something which ties him down though. It keeps him together.#And he himself *is* a bind. He 'ties wwx down' in ways that are initially negatively viewed ('come to gusu' - feels like: come be trapped)#But later it is shown how (despite being introduced as a free spirit) WWX truly wants to be bound to something and someone.#Marriage is a bind he wants. He wants to be tied and grounded by LWJ.#It's starting to sound like innuendo. Let's call his fondness for being literally tied up smart thematic writing.#Finally. Sex scenes that are important to the plot and characters

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.

Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #not to mention that so many people DO want to medically transition but *can't*#so it can be even harder for some when they feel social transition is their only option when they don't want it to be #but social transition carries its own risks and challenges and again rewards #and i've seen this idea plenty where it's like 'oh you don't GET my struggles because you're SOCIALLY transitioning'#and while yes i am different than some trans people to say i'm struggling *more* if i'm the only one medically transitioning is??? huh????#i don't buy into this idea that social transition is never scary because you don't have the boot of the medical system on your back #(though non-med or pre-med transitioning people still face issues in medical settings so even THEN we aren't seperate)#like there's very few ways you can separate my issues as a medically-transitioning person and the issues of somebody who isn't...#...and by that i mean there's few ways you can separate our issues so that mine trumps theirs or that i'm seen as like... trans but More #does that make sense?#medical transitioning is important but that doesn't mean it is *more* important or that only *it* is important #you can support us who are medically transitioning without erasing the experiences and struggles of other trans people #and plus... so many of us who are medically transitioning NOW are the people who socially transitioned THEN #and dare i say i despised social transition more because of how hard it was? medical transition has been (more or less) easier...#...in that i can just *be* now

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gunstellations · 5 months

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In the world I love

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In a different world

#vanitas no carte #vanoé #doomed yaoi save me...save me doomed yaoi #play on the opening song + visual sequence + the fact that vanitas could only ever be happy in an alternate universe also #+ the other fun little fact we learn about him from episode one #i have complex feelings about this anime #its pretty damn fucking good #but im a leeeeetle iffy about the way it developed the female characters.....they had potential and i was actually excited to #to see some good solid female characters even the respective romances with their l/i's felt good at the start #not jeanne obv. they fucked up a perfectly good woman and her whole dynamic with v could have gone sooo well without the reall #really forced flirting behaviour.... i liked the more serious relationship they had it made me actually not hate what they had at the start #but yknow. whatever. sorry about going off about another ship on this but im just....i love jeanne a lot. i wish they didnt do her so dirty #my girl deserves better than this asshole #you want white/black dynamics??? let her get married to domi and then we can talk #i enjoy this show and i enjoy vanoe a lot #very yuriyaoi if you ask me #my art

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ink-the-artist · 5 months

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holy shit I did NOT realize how popular my "I will remove my teeth, for I want to remain kind despite my anger" quote is. I just googled it for fun to see what would come up, a bunch of people are quoting it not knowing who its from, an artist called Kuma made an album titled that, so bizzare

#also people are misatributing the quote to kuma and the first google result for the quote attributes it to them #which is kind of upsetting but not a huge deal whatever #its cool it seems to have entered culture like that #i get very mixed feelings about those instances where something I made got WAY more popular than i expected and #people are reposting it or using it without attributing it to me #i both feel bad when stuff isnt credited to me but also good that my art has expanded beyond my reach #its out of my control kind of and other people have it now #which IS what i want for my art and how i generally think art should be #but it is also obviously causes some anxiety to lose control and really full ownership of something that is yours #i think also there is anxiety about something of mine being taken by someone bigger than me #since they can just claim it as their own and most people will know them as the origin #not talking specifically about this quote btw just any of my work #ive definetly been thinking about that hbomberguy vid lol #i hope any of this made sense im a little high rn

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twyrineslut · 7 months

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he just like me fr

#do NOT ask me how long i spent on this LOL #also im trans btw i feel like this should go without saying but like. just in case.#was there probably an easier way to get these clips than going back and recording old saves? yea but wheres the fun in that #pathologic #pathologic classic hd #artemy burakh #haruspex #my edit

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icantdothistodaybruh · 9 months

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#no way I'm finishing this today but maybe later..#sebaciel #sebastian michaelis #ciel phantomhive #our ciel #black butler #kuroshitsuji #my art #sketch #just wanted to post something to get rid of a feeling that a day had gone to waste without doing something valuable #now it's 4am why am I even alive

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canisalbus · 5 months

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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

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#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

#and thus eddie caused a category 5 neighborhood disaster bc he tried to flirt via sandwich questions #which is a totally valid way to flirt. Totally.#what's more romantic than being able to bring people their favorite sandwiches without having to ask #idk im not a romantic. almost wrote tomantic. i dont like tomatoes either #welcome home #scribble salad #welcome home fanart #welcome home puppet show #in all honesty during last night's festive breakdown i had the doodled Thought above #and scribbled it in my phone notes #it feels good to not only have an Idea but to also Get It Out #yaknow? i dont get that often #brain usually has half a thought then fizzles out and decides to go lay down for a full week #also here's a niche concept that is incredibly funny to me:#a neighbor swearing and wally immediately being like NO!!! THE RATINGS!!!!#he has to snipe them before they can get the full word out. how sad :'{#alsoX2 special thanks to these doodles for keeping me awake #i had decided not to sleep when i drew this and i can't fall asleep before ten otherwise ill wake up 4 hours later wide awake #with no hope of getting back to sleep #and another s/o to barnaby for being incredibly pleasant to draw. he does not fight me like the others do

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howlonomy · 3 months

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How would Starlo's family react to this new monster kid that is a cross between a fox, bird, and whatever Starlo is? Cause I'm just saying, Clover does share his tail, side head things, and yellow spots with Starlo, so it's safe to assume that Clover related to Starlo, from their perspective at least.

Or do they already know about the whole situation?

Either way, I'm imagining Starlo's parents looking at Clover and thinking "this is probably the closest we'll get to grandkids" and just start doting him.

IM SO GLAD U ASKED ABOUT THEM BC I WAS THINKING HOW SWEET THEY WOULD BE!!!! and then i got to draw it >:]

they are so smitten with clover after they get introduced by starlo. they kind of met with clover in the underground and after starlo told them all what happened, they respected clover a lot and saw the change they made to ceroba and star. so once theyre back they’re like welp. new grandchild!

orion (i think thats his name?) is like the older cousin u have that just thinks the younger kids are cringe. he cares but does not show it at all. crestina is NOT letting starlo say anything bad to clover. solomon big fun grandpa :]

#asked and answered #monster clover au #mcau doodle #mcau lore #i imagine the talk between star and his family is like #‘they look a lot like you and ceroba and martlet. did you guys get together? and you decided to make a child without letting us know??’#‘was it an accident. please be honest’#starlo: what. what. what are you talking about #(i imagine monsters are made through magic. so kids can have multiple parents. i cant remember if there was a canon way but this is my au #AND POLYAMORY KIDS ARE REAL HERE 💥)#also feeling the regret of making starlo lizardlike trying to design these guys on the fly

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thekittyokat · 1 month

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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

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