#woke up hungover fucked up and worst of all...wearing a shirt

[brighteuphony]

Local yakuza man goes on destructive bender after his boss's funeral in an attempt to cope with ✨the bad thoughts.✨ Luckily, a good samaritan was there when it came crashing down!

On a Yakuza kick ft best boy Majima and my OC.

[joa-quin-phoe-nix-fan]

The Interview -Joaquin Phoenix FF

!TW! Emotional abuse, death mentioned, grief

The Interview

It was a very bad idea to drink the night before this interview. You knew it then and you also knew it as soon as you woke up that morning, so hungover you could barely distinguish your feet from your hands. “This is bad...” you mumble to yourself as you walk over to what you could only assume was your medicine cabinet, desperately trying to take some ibuprofen before the inevitable headache and nausea kicked in strong.

After a lot of fumbling and trying to shake pills out of a dental floss container for way too long you finally find the ibuprofen and take 2 with a swig of tap water. Then you walk over to your bedside table hoping that your last nights drunken self had remembered to put your phone there. ..you had remembered! Feeling a slight feeling of pride as your phone finally came into focus you turned it on. Although you had remembered to put your phone in the right place for once, you had sadly forgotten to plug it in. It wasn’t dead but you only had 15% left. “Ugh, I can relate...” you sighed as you plugged it in and looked at the time 9:45. Alright so- wait, 9:45?!? You only have 45 minutes to get to a place 30 minutes away by taxi, but that’s only if you somehow managed to immediately get a taxi as soon as you left your building. Which is practically impossible during tourist season. This means you only just have 15 minutes to get completely ready and, more importantly, get sober.

You do a strange mix of stumbling and running to your kitchen grabbing at anything to fill your stomach. You by some miracle manage to successfully make a (maybe slightly too full) bowl of milk and a cup of coffee. You chug the coffee, burning your tongue in the process and you cool it down by chugging your cereal. You look at your phone, 4 minutes have passed. You jump up off your chair and run blindly back to your bedroom stopping only to glance at your face in the mirror of your bathroom and cringe at the streaks of last nights makeup still on your face. Running into the bedroom you desperately look around for the outfit that you had prepared for today, you had kept it in the same spot for a week making sure that it wasn’t in the wash and unavailable to wear today. You look in the spot, now covered in underwear, a scarf and 3 unknown lipsticks probably exchanged in the womens restroom at the bar last night. Underneath it all...the deep green suit you had planned for today! Thank god!

You throw it on and run back to the bathroom, knocking over an array of furniture on the way, grabbing around for your makeup remover and a cotton pad. You desperately wipe at your eyes, not really caring if every bit is wiped off just wanting the giant streaks of sleep-covered makeup gone. You get most of it off, leaving only slight traces of eyeliner and mascara right in your lash-line and practically jump on your makeup bag, trying to check the time at the same time. Sadly your phone had run out of battery at some point while you were attacking your face. “Ah, fuck it!” you mutter as you just chuck it at your bag, thinking that you’ll just have to go without a phone today and that you’ll charge it later. With shaky hands you draw on your eyeliner as precisely as possible, at the end feeling proud that you only fucked it up twice and that they weren’t even that noticeable. You then run to the door, grabbing your bag, vaguely grabbing inside it to make sure you felt your money, your keys, your slightly crumpled resume and your dead phone and run out the door, hoping that there was a taxi just waiting out there. As expected, there wasn’t one. You have no choice but to wait. The minutes pass like hours until finally, just when you were about to give up and start running towards the nearest bus stop (which is 10 minutes away and is twice the journey time) a yellow taxi peeled around the corner at the highest speeds. You wave to it desperately and luckily it screeches to a stop. You climb in and almost yell the address at the driver, you didn’t want to be rude, you were just so desperate.

As soon as your body settled down in the back seat, you started to feel rather dizzy and like you were going to pass out. You try to breathe deep to calm yourself down but it just kinda makes you suddenly nauseous so you resolve to just looking out the window to distract yourself.

As you watch the people and cars zooming past you try to remember what your uncle told you when he said that he got you this interview. “The man who’s going to be interviewing you is named Joaquin Phoenix, you will address him as Mr. Phoenix. You need to tell him about your college, your high school, the two other jobs you’ve had, how long you’ve had them, the fact that you haven’t been fired or reprimanded in the 2 years that you have had those jobs. Don’t get too sappy or tell him about your possible eviction due to your now ex dropping financial support, that will probably just make him think that you’re making it all up because it all seems to sad and ridiculous to be true. He’ll think you’re just trying to work off of his sympathy and will probably not take it well.” You sigh, although you hated how strictly he said it, you knew it was true, and you need this job.

After you broke up with them, you lost everything. They had helped you with taxes, they helped move and put together all your furniture, they were there for you when your father passed away, in fact, they had been with you for the better part of four years. Losing that broke you, physically, mentally and financially. You weren’t mooching or anything, you had your two jobs to pay for most of the bills, and they had their job. They just always helped when you were a couple hundred short, one time even a whole thousand short. This happened practically every month, being a barista and waitress didn’t pay as much as you expected, but they never minded. They always payed the amount, but then they would guilt-trip you. Forcing you to do things that you didn’t want to do because of their false sense of you “owing them” due to how much time and money they had spent on you. Sometimes you weren’t in the mood to “mess around”, sometimes you were too socially anxious to go to a party, sometimes you were just busy with your two jobs to spend every second of your day with them, but they didn’t care. You owed them these things and if you said no, they would threaten to not help you pay next month, or guilt you by bringing up your dad’s death. Both hurt just as bad and they knew this. They wanted to make you get in trouble at work, by making you not go, so you’d lose your job and have to depend on them more but they never succeeded. Although they had manipulated you in so many other ways, they never affected your work ethic. You knew that you needed to be there every day and no matter how much they guilt-tripped you and sent you text after text, voicemail after voicemail, threat after threat, you stayed at work. Once you got home you would fight and fight and scream and cry, they would yell at you, then as soon as you yelled, made their voice calm and condescending, making you seem like you were crazy.

Sometimes, you would even believe it yourself, but 2 weeks, 14 hours and 25 minutes ago, you didn’t bend, you kicked them out and called your mother, uncle and oncle (the uncle on your mothers side was gay and married a french man that you called oncle because that’s uncle in French) and they stayed over that night, with you crying and sobbing, and with them supplying you with chocolate, vodka and no phone. Your mom kept your phone from you like she had done when you were a child, and you’re glad she did, you surely would’ve called them and gotten back together and gotten back to being manipulated.

Since then, your mother, uncle and oncle had been visiting you one by one, checking up on you, making sure you were doing alright. The first night that they hadn’t done this was last night, the night that you went out, got shitfaced, came home, got more shitfaced and destroyed the house. It was the worst night for them to not check up on you, but you didn’t blame them. It was getting old to them, or maybe they were busy, maybe they just thought you were already over it. You weren’t obviously.

You were so deep in thought that you barely heard the taxi driver say “we’re here.” He was patient but he definitely wanted to get paid sometime today so to grab your attention he raised his voice a tad “We’re here ma’am!” You snapped out of it and looked out the window, you were here. You blushed, embarrassed and hastily thanked the taxi driver, paid for the ride and ran out towards the tall silver building in to the left of the car. The quick jump from sitting to running, though, made you reel and you almost fell onto the pavement when you suddenly stopped in mid-air. It took a moment to realize that someone had grabbed you and held you up before you made your face a pavement-pancake. You looked up, it was a man with silver hair, he had a medium sized beard, quite close to his face, not clean-shaven but not a lumberjack beard. Somewhere between there. He wore a shirt, tie and zip-up sweater. Kinda strange but nice-looking. His eyes were a lovely bright green in the morning light but they were so light you at first thought that they were silver. He held you close, with genuine concern written all over his face. “Are you okay, Miss?” His voice was sweet and gravely, and you felt the vibration of his vocal cords run from his chest, through you like a warm shower, slow and comforting.

You had kinda zoned out for a second, and suddenly realized what had happened, what situation you were in and how embarrassing it was. Your face became hot and stung, like as if you had instantly gotten a sunburn. You tried to stand up but your legs did not seem to want to cooperate. Instead of planting on the ground, steady and firm, to support your body weight, your legs decided to just kinda flop about like fish out of water, desperately trying to find the ground. They finally did and you wobbled up, standing, facing him embarrassed out of your mind.

He was patient and held you tight in case you fell again, “It’s okay, I’m here.” Why did he have to say that? Tears welled up in your eyes and the urge to hug this stranger became overwhelming. “Are you okay? What happened?” He asked as the tears fell down your face, worried that he had said something wrong. You started sobbing now, “I’m-I’m fi-i-i-ine..” you said between sobs, “I...[sniff]...I just had a bad morning...[sob] and-and now...I’ve got a job interview here right now and...and...I need this job but...I-I can’t do it!” At this point you were both sitting in the ground in front of each other, him still holding you and listening. “Keep going, I’m here for you” He pressed on, trying to get you to talk more. For an hour you both sat there with this stranger, you telling him everything and him listening carefully. Not really giving any opinion of his own yet, just asking questions to make you tell him more, tell him about how you felt, what you did next, what you remembered in the moments. Slowly at first, you started to feel better. The more you talked, the less you cried, the less you cried, the more you noticed about this man and how handsome he was, he had a small line on his lip, it was hard to see at first through his moustache but you noticed. Maybe it was a scar? You also noticed his teeth as he asked questions, not straight but not completely crooked. Yellow, he was either a coffee drinker, a smoker or both. His fingers were tobacco-stained, he was a smoker. His eyes were perfectly lined with long lashes, giving another layer of beauty to this man’s face. The more you noticed, the more you wanted to know about him. Life went so slow and sweet with him.

You finished everything that you had to say, finally calm and content. He quietly turned his head and furrowed his brow, processing everything you said. He stayed this way for about 5 minutes. You didn’t mind though, it just meant you could simply watch him and forget everything else in life. After a while he spoke, slowly and carefully, choosing each word as if it was the most important decision of his life. “Wow...that is definitely a whole lot to go through in one lifetime. I understand what it’s like to lose someone, I lost both my father and my brother. My brother died of an overdose right in front of me and I lost my father to cancer in 2015. I have no idea what you will need to heal...but for me, I chose to create. I overworked myself at times, hurt the people I love, I came close to giving up at times, but I kept going. Lots of people tell you to never look back but...I find that looking back sometimes can help you heal. You need to look back to know where you came from. The important thing is to not do that forever, otherwise you’ll never move forwards. You seem to have been overworking yourself, both with your work and your relationship. The man, that you were going to have an interview with...he’s me.”

Your stomach dropped. You had completely forgotten about the interview. The words of your uncle repeated in your head. “Don’t get too sappy...that will probably just make him think that you’re making it all up...he’ll think you’re just trying to work off of his sympathy and will probably not take it well.” You instantly drop your gaze and lower your head, ashamed and unbelievably worried. “I’m so sorry Mr. Phoenix, I made it so you weren’t working. I told you everything about my life. I promise you it’s all true and I swear I didn’t try to play off of your sympathy...I had no idea you were...” You glanced up, meeting his gaze. He looked profoundly confused and not at all angry. You blushed beet red and looked down again in apology. You sat there for a couple minutes, tears forming again, blurring your vision. Then something slowly reached for your face. As the tears fell off your eyelashes and landed on your leg, you saw that it was his hand, he slowly placed his pointer finger under your chin and gently pushed your head upwards. You complied and lifted your head, completely ashamed and met his gaze again. What took you completely aback was, that he was smiling at you. “Miss Y/N...I never thought that. I actually was supposed to have time-off during the time of our interview but your uncle is very good at convincing people.” You both laughed at this, for it was indeed true “So I wasn’t kept from work. Finally, I’d be more surprised if your life story wasn’t true, I would say that you’re an amazing actress if that was the case. I know that everything you’ve said has been true, I could even tell that quite a bit was wrong as soon as I saw you left the taxi. It all made sense as soon as you said it.” You smiled at him. You had only just met him that day but you already felt so comfortable around him. Was this love at first sight?

“Well, now that we are properly acquainted, do you want my number so we can make another interview time or maybe even...to go get a coffee?” You blushed again, getting your phone out of your bag, forgetting that it had run out of battery. You cursed at yourself, you should’ve just let it charge. “I’m sorry, but my phone is out of battery...do you have a charger?” “No, I don’t on me...do you want to come over and charge it?” You nodded, unable to speak because you were so flustered and walked with him to his car, excited to see where this day would go.

PS Hey! This is my first FF! I hope whoever reads this likes it and if you want to request a fic or if you want to give tips on writing FFs I'll happily write any FF or take any advice.

[keanureevesisbae]

Caught in a Blizzard - Part 2

Summary: Luna wakes up in Chris Evans’ hotel room and can’t leave, because of a blizzard. What starts as a therapy session, talking about the disbandment of Brave Elegance, ends in something a little more spicier. 

Pairing: Chris Evans x Luna Hwang (Asian OFC)

Warnings: There is sex in this. Like lots of it: oral, body fluids and all. 

Wordcount: 6k

A/N: if you want to be on the taglist, just let me know! Also, I love to read your guys’ thoughts and feedback xx

Masterlist // Part 1 // Part 3 

Fuck, this must be the worst hangover I’ve experienced in years and I didn’t even had that much to drink. My head is pounding like crazy and when I open my eyes, I’m practically blinded by the brightness of the sun that is coming through the thin white curtains. When my eyes are finally used to the lights, I try to figure out where the fuck I am, because this sure does not look anything like my bedroom back in New York.

Oh shit, wait, I’m not in New York, I’m in London. I push myself up and stare around the room. This can’t be my hotel room, because my bedroom had pink walls.

Hold up… Those are male clothes in the corner and spilling out of the open suitcase.

I had sex last night? Oh my God, I really don’t remember anything at all. I remember talking to a bartender, after I went on Graham Norton. Oh fuck, Chris Evans was on the show as well. I bet he thinks less of me…

Though, he was ready to become a Fairy he told Graham and after my performance, he was the first to stand. I think I have gained a fan.

But who did I have sex with? It has been more than a year ago since I did something even remotely sexual with another person present, so I’d like to remember the occasion. I look around and see my over knee boots in the corner of the bedroom, neatly put away.

Oh, the guy was a gentleman too.

Wait a second, I’m still wearing my dress. That is weird, because usually after sex, I’m just naked and if I’m wearing anything at all, it’s the guys’ shirt.

Hm, this is strange.

I should investigate this. I manage to push myself out of bed, but the second I’m standing on my feet, I stumble against the wall. Geez, I’m a fucking klutz, especially when I’m hungover. I open the door and try to get myself to the kitchen for a glass of water, but I’m out of breath by the time I reached a cupboard two feet away from me. I place my hand on the surface and pinch myself in my side.

Maybe I’m getting too old to get wasted like this. I’m just twenty three years old, so I’m not even close to thirty. But I don’t think I can handle alcohol that well, especially not this type of vodka.

‘You’re up,’ I hear someone say. His voice does sound pretty familiar though, but I can’t really figure out where I know it from.

‘Barely,’ I answer groggily, looking around me, not seeing anyone. ‘Where are you?’

‘In the kitchen.’

Desperate to see the man I spend the night with, I force myself to walk to the kitchen. He doesn’t sound British though, so maybe he is a tourist? I stare at someones back and from the looks of it, he has broad shoulders and shorter darkish blonde, brown hair. His butt is beautifully shaped.

Not too shabby, Luna.

‘Tea?’

The man turns around and I gasp, my eyes widening in the process. I’m with Chris Evans? Holy shit. What did I do last night? ‘Goodness motherfucking gracious,’ I mutter. ‘What am I doing here?’ I don’t even wait for his answer, because I add in absolute terror: ‘Oh shit, did we have sex last night?’

He starts to laugh, pouring some hot water in a mug. He places it in front of me on the bar, together with four teabags for me to choose from. That’s so considerate, I think to myself.  He is even cuter in real life. ‘No, we didn’t have sex.’

‘Thank the stars. Because if I’ve had sex with Captain America, I’d like to remember it.’ What the fuck are you talking about? ‘Wait, no, forget that I said that.’ My entire face is on fire and I wish I could just disappear right now. ‘I’m so sorry, Chris.’

‘Well, if we had sex, I’d like to make it a little bit more memorable, if I’m being honest with you.’ He chuckles and gestures I should take a seat on the stool. Oh my God, I think I’m gonna die because of that comment, but I pull myself together like the mature woman I am and take place on the high stool.

He looks more approachable with this nice knitted sweater in a dark green color. I bet I look like a Julia Roberts Pretty Woman lookalike, but I failed miserably. ‘How are you feeling?’ he asks me.

‘Like shit. I really don’t remember anything of last night. Did I embarrass myself?’

‘Well,’ Chris says with a smile and that can’t be anything good, ‘you kept me pretty entertained.’

‘Oh fuck, I’m so sorry.’ I place my elbows on the hard surface of the bar, hiding my face in my hands. ‘I probably ruined your entire night.’

‘You really didn’t.’

That causes me to look back at him again. ‘I didn’t? I was drunk.’

He shakes his head. ‘No, honestly, you didn’t. I actually really liked your company. You are truly the funniest woman I’ve ever met.’

‘Do I want to know what I did?’

Chris shrugs. ‘It’s nothing too bad. You complimented me about my face, my thighs and my hands.’

I open a teabag and let it sink into the hot water. ‘Oh no, I didn’t just compliment you. Spill, what did I say?’

‘You said I had a pretty face,’ Chris starts and I thank the universe that I was in that type of drunken state. ‘But that it was that pretty that you could just lick it and not regret it.’

Fuck, this is terrible.

‘You said something about chicks loving to ride my thighs and how I have lovely hands. You wanted to know if I had spanked someone with them, causing you to confess that you’d never been spanked.’ How can he say that with a straight face?

I want to die. I clear my throat, hoping I can figure out what to say to him now. Normally with people, I honestly don’t care what I said to them in a drunk state, but this… To this gorgeous human being… ‘Right,’ I say. ‘You know, I should probably go.’

‘You can’t.’

‘Oh, you’re holding me hostage now, mister Evans?’ I ask him, cocking an eyebrow. I wouldn’t complain, but I don’t want to take up more of his time. Also, I don’t want to continue embarrassing myself.

He chuckles. ‘No, there is a blizzard and we are ordered not to leave the hotel or our room for that matter.’

I stare at the window, only to see that the entirety of what I can see of London is covered with a thick layer of snow. ‘No, no, no,’ I whine. ‘I’m so sorry, I look like an actual escort and you probably want to spend time by yourself and not me.’

Chris shrugs. ‘I actually like some company. Don’t really like being alone,’ he admits. ‘You know, how about you take a shower and I’ll see if I have some clothes for you here.’

‘You’ve got lady clothes laying around?’ I ask him, cocking an eyebrow. ‘Didn’t peck you for that, Chris Evans, but you know, to each their own.’

‘Some clothes of mine that you might fit.’

‘Oh no,’ I chuckle, ‘you are actually blind. Have you seen you and me? I’m probably at least thirty centimeters smaller than you and a whole load of kilos lighter than you. You think I could fit in your clothes?’

He smiles, before he winks at me. ‘Let’s find out.’

✘ ✘ ✘

After a long shower, I see that Chris has placed some neatly folded clothes in front of the bathroom door. I have scrubbed off all of my left over make-up from my face and I stare at my brighter skin for a second. I look better now than I did with make-up smeared all over my face and neck. I see Chris has some moisturizer laying around on the bathroom sink. I open the jar and take a sniff.

I remember this exact smell from yesterday. Apparently I was pretty close to him.

I take a bit out of the jar, before I smear it on my face. After I patted the moisturizer into my skin, I walk out of the bathroom in a sweatpants that is way to big for me, some thick socks and a sweater of his. It feels so domestic, something I never experienced. Before I auditioned on the X-Factor, I never fell in love and ever since that, I never had time to date.

Rosie had her brief relationship with Justin Bieber (but we all know how that ended) and Daliah is still dating Michal B. Jordan. He was around a lot when we were still a group and he is nice, always bringing flowers for Daliah, but also for the rest of us, so we didn’t feel left out.

From the five of us, I was the one that never wanted a relationship. I just wanted a life that completely existed of music. But this feeling, wearing someones clothes that smell like said person, it makes me feel oddly loved and taken care of.

Chris is sitting in front of the television, leaned back against the cushions. I see he placed some snacks in front of him on the coffee table and even two mugs filled coffee. This man has been so insanely thoughtful ever since I woke up and I feel like he was thoughtful the night before.

‘There you are,’ he says with a wide smile once he notices me.

I highly doubt anyone has ever looked at me like that before and was this happy to see me.

‘Well, you look even better in my clothes than I thought you would. Come on, take a seat,’ he tells me, patting the spot right next to him on the couch.

My cheeks are a bit flushed, as I plop down next to him and grab the mug filled with coffee. ‘How come I’m actually in your hotel room?’ I ask.

‘Well, I saw you in a bar and you were pretty hammered, so I figured I’d take you to your hotel, but you couldn’t remember where you were staying. I felt like it would be better if I took you to my place. No worries, every advantage you tried to take of me, I politely declined.’

I shake my head because I can’t believe myself. ‘Oh no, oh no. What advantages?’

‘One, you tried to pull me on your lap when we got in the cab. Two, you tried to strip tease when we got here. Three, you wanted to give me a lap dance, but fell on the floor.’

I wonder on what floor we are on, so I can throw myself out of this window. I don’t want to be here ‘I’m sorry,’ I apologize again. ‘This is so fucking embarrassing.’

‘Like I said before,’ Chris laughs, ‘you kept me pretty entertained.’

He continues to watch some television, while I check my phone. It’s weird not to see any messages from my band members. Ever since we broke up a few months ago, we barely spoken. Well, I haven’t spoken to anyone, I have no idea what they are doing, maybe they are talking to one another. I kind of wished that I could open our groups chat again, so I could tell them about where I’m at right now.

I sigh deeply, as the realization hits me that I don’t have anyone anymore. It’s just me. I mean, I like Gia with all my heart, but she has her own life and she is just my manager. Not my friend. Not my soulmate.

‘Are you okay?’ Chris asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

‘Yeah, I’m okay.’

‘You don’t look okay.’

‘I’m hungover, Chris,’ I tell him. ‘I usually look like shit then.’

‘I didn’t mean it like that,’ he says. ‘You look sad. You can talk to me, you know? I think we are going to be stuck here for quite some time.’ He smiles and I feel oddly safe, like I can spill my thoughts here and not be judged.

After much consideration, I ask: ‘What is it like? Having a family?’

He frowns deeply. ‘Why do you ask?’

I should just stop talking right now. ‘I don’t have anyone anymore,’ I instead whisper. ‘I was just wondering what it would be like to have one. To be part of a real family, one that loves you no matter what.’

Chris sighs and says: ‘Being part of a family has been the greatest blessing and privilege of my life.’

Leave it to him to make it all poetic and shit. I want to hate this guy, but I can’t for obvious reasons. I watched so many interviews with him and he seems like such a likable and pleasant guy to be around. I like being with him already.

‘I heard something about your family situation,’ he says. ‘I’m sorry you had to go through that.’

People tell me that a lot. Everyone is always so sorry, but it never felt so sincere as it does when Chris Evans says it. I shrug. ‘Well,’ I mumble, ‘it taught me a lot.’

‘What did it teach you?’

I look to the side, to this beautiful man, who is only a few months away from being forty. It’s weird that I feel so at ease with someone who is almost seventeen years older than me.  It’s actually really strange that I feel at ease with anyone for that matter. It took me weeks before I was comfortable around my members. ‘That I shouldn’t get attached to people,’ I say. ‘That’s not really healthy or anything, so I should stop that, but… I can’t stop it.’

‘It isn’t, you’re right,’ he says in a soft voice. ‘I’m not going to tell you what you can and cannot do, but it’s healthy for people to attach.’

‘I did,’ I whisper. ‘I got attached to my girls, though I barely showed it. For six years we were always together. We shared every hit, we shared every birthday. They were my family, you know. I could tell them anything.’

Chris nods. ‘Then why did you guys break up?’

This hurts. I never said it out loud. Not to Gia, not to someone else in my new record label. ‘Because they were jealous,’ I say. ‘I got attached, but I didn’t tell them how much I cared about them. There were clips online, where people would make a compilation of the things I did for them. It were the things like, opening a water bottle and shoving that in their hands without looking at them or pulling them behind me when people got too close for my liking. But I never told them. Instead, I started to work extra hard, so the record label, our managers, producers and our fans would like me more and I actually hoped they would get jealous. I had this desperate need to prove that I was better than they all were.’

Chris is clearly thinking about what he should say to me. ‘Why?’

‘So other people would finally notice me.’ I look up and let out a shaky breath. ‘I’m sorry, you probably don’t want to hear about my sad sob story.’

‘I do,’ he says, placing a caring hand on my knee. ‘It’s not a sad sob story, it’s your life story. It shaped you to who you are today. Remember, Luna, there will be other people that’ll care about you.’

This is bizarre. I’m meeting up with someone for the first time, after thirsting over them for years and now it turned into a full on therapy session, that I actually don’t mind. For years I’ve sat through the forced therapy sessions I had back when I was in foster care, watching the time go by as I kept quiet.

And now I just spill the details and I don’t necessarily feel any regret.

‘You know,’ I say. ‘I remember the day I found out my parents died in that car accident. I was standing outside of the school, with my teacher at the age of four. Everyone was already at home, but my parents didn’t arrive. I didn't want to miss them, so I sat outside for three hours. After that I was forced into the system.’ I look to the side and whisper: ‘I was in sixteen different families and I moved around so many times. All I wanted was being loved and that was when I was with my band members.’

Chris nods. I don’t know what is so damn special about him that I just spill out all my worries, my fears and feelings. ‘There is still time, Luna,’ he says. ‘It’s not too late.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘What I said, there will be other band members. There will be other people that can care about you. You just have to let them in.’

I think about that for a second, before I stand up. ‘I’m starving,’ I say to him. ‘You want something?’

Chris Evans nods, though he looks a bit taken aback from my sudden change of subject. ‘Sure, let me help you.’

He gets up from the couch, towering over me. His large frame, his handsome face, the way he looks so huggable in that sweater. I bite my lip.

Don’t even think about that, Luna. It’s definitely not going to happen.

✘ ✘ ✘

We prepare some food together and being all domestic with Chris Evans, was something I never thought I could have in life, even if it’s only for a short amount of time. We laugh as he nearly cuts off his finger, he pinches my cheek with his pesto covered fingers and for the first time in many months, I feel accepted and part of something again.

Being with the girls day in day out was tough, but I was never alone. It is nice not to be alone again. All of my foster parents never cared, back in high school I never had a lot of friends, since I moved a lot. Being with four wonderful girls for that long, gave me a certain security.

But I lost that. Now I have nobody, while they are back home with their families, their loved ones, probably still mad at me.

Being stuck with Chris Evans is so nice, though it’s forced since we can’t leave this room. While we eat our food, we talk about his upcoming movies. He is so enthusiastic, to a point where I have to stop him from talking about it more, because he is going to spoil the entire movie, that I so desperately want to see now.

Chris looks at me, like no one has ever looked at me before. I always thought that when I  would meet Chris Evans, I would stare at him with a look solely consisting of lust. I always wondered what he would be like in bed, between my thighs. Of course I still wonder about that, but I actually like him a lot now, as a person.

He makes me feel like I matter and feeling like that, is something so unexpected.

‘This is so unfair,’ I say, throwing the cards on the little coffee table in front of him. ‘You are such a cheater.’

‘I’m a cheater?’ he laughs, his voice a bit higher out of disbelieve. ‘You peeked at my cards, miss Luna and you still managed to lose!’ He pokes my side with his finger, causing me to squeal. ‘You are a disaster.’

‘I’m not a disaster. You are just stupid. I don’t like playing card games with you and I hate you.’

His mouth is formed in a perfect o shape, before he launches forward to tickle my sides.

‘No, Chris, stop it!’ I laugh, as I try to push him off of me, but he is too strong.

Of course he is too strong.

He pushes me deeper in the couch, his hands on my side, as he halts his tickles. He is right in between my legs. This shouldn’t make me horny, this shouldn’t make me horny. ‘I never knew you were such a sore loser.’

‘I’m not a sore loser,’ I manage to choke out, still trying to catch my breath. I can almost cut the tension between us with a knife. His face is so close, his hot breath against my lips. I could just kiss him right now. He smells so lovely and his large hands in my sides…

‘Luna,’ he says, pulling me out of my thoughts, ‘you are an amazing singer, but you suck at card games.’

I slap his chest. ‘Not everyone can be perfect like Chris Evans.’

He took off his sweater about half an hour ago and this shirt is totally accentuating his strong arms and his shoulders, his perfectly shaped upper body. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks me, not moving an inch.

How can I be okay, when I’m in a position like this with you? My cheeks turn red. ‘I’m fine,’ I choke out.

‘Are you sure?’ He places a hand on my forehead. ‘You feel kinda hot.’

‘I am.’ No, no, no! Luna Hwang, why did you say that? Don’t say something like that.

‘How come?’

Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute. I spot his sly smile on his face, his chest slowly more pressed against mine. He is doing this on purpose. I never thought this man would do something like that.

Sneaky bastard. He looks so innocent with those beautiful eyes, those long lashes, but meanwhile he is just as horny as I am probably.

‘Well,’ I say, finally gaining back some confidence, ‘you in this black shirt isn’t helping the situation at all.’

Chris smiles. ‘Figured. Took you long enough to react.’

‘So you did do it on purpose,’ I say, cocking an eyebrow as I chuckle.

‘Well,’ he whispers, his hand cupping my face as his thumb grazes over my bottom lip, ‘don’t you think for a second I didn’t notice every single thing you have been doing. Biting your lips, stretching out so I can see some of your skin. You did that on purpose too.’

I almost think that he can hear my heartbeat and I swallow hard.

‘If you don’t want to do this,’ he whispers, ‘we don’t have to do this. Just tell me.’

He should stop being so considerate. ‘Chris, Chris, Chris,’ I say, placing my hands on his strong chest, ‘you honestly thought we’d get through this blizzard without us having sex.’ I start to smile. ‘I honestly feel like you underestimated me.’

He chuckles and says: ‘Tell me, what did you have in mind?’

Is he giving me the ability to give matters into my own hands? That has never happened before. ‘Well,’ I say, as he buries his face in the nape of my neck, slowly pressing soft kisses on the delicate skin. ‘I’ve thought about you between my thighs.’

‘Can be arranged.’

‘And I didn’t lie yesterday: I bet girls love to ride to ride your thighs.’

‘No one has ever done that,’ he admits, something I find very hard to believe. No one has rode these thighs before? Those lovely thighs? His large hand slip underneath my sweater, as his calloused fingers touch my bare skin. ‘But I’d love for you to be the first. Take off your clothes, Luna,’ he whispers. ‘All of it.’

Shivers run down my spine, as I watch him sitting up straight, positioning himself on the couch with a smile.

‘You wanted to do a striptease yesterday,’ he says with a chuckle. ‘What’s stopping you now, Luna?’

‘No alcohol.’

I shred myself from his sweater, the sweatpants and socks, as I run my fingers through my hair.

‘All of it, baby,’ he tells me.

I take a deep breath. Seeing him fully clothed and me slowly becoming more naked every second passing. I undo my bra and I hook my fingers around the waistband of my underwear. Chris lets his lip go over his bottom lip.

‘You are breathtaking.’ He pulls me on his lap, on one of his thighs, his hands roaming my body, until one of them gets intertwined in my hair as he pulls me in for a kiss. Oh shit, I’m kissing Chris Evans. The Chris Evans.

My wet core is pressed against the fabric of his jeans. I’m so desperate for some friction between my legs. I grind my hips back and forth, causing me to moan against his mouth. ‘Very good,’ he mumbles, placing his hands on my hips, to help me set the pace that he desires.

His kisses are nothing with what I expected them to be. I thought he was sweet and considerate, just like everything he has done for me today, but these kisses are nothing like that. He is dominant and demanding. He takes my bottom lip between his teeth, as he forces me to ride his thick thigh faster, flexing his muscles for different kinds of sensation.

‘Oh fuck,’ I moan out.

‘Look at you,’ he whispers with a satisfied grin on his face. ‘You are so sexy, Luna.’ He pulls me in for yet another long kiss, his tongue dancing around mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and I feel the familiar sensation coiling up deep inside of me, causing me to whimper against his plump lips.

And then he forces my hips to stay put.

‘No,’ I whine.

Chris smiles, as he squeezes my ass. I’m sure he is leaving marks on the soft flesh. ‘You soaked my jeans, baby.’

‘That’s your fault. You could’ve not worn them.’

He gently pushes me off his lap, sitting on his knees in front of the couch and he spreads my legs apart. He presses kisses on my inner thighs. ‘Pretty girl,’ he notes. ‘So wet for me already.’ He looks up and smiles. ‘Can I?’

I nod. ‘Please,’ I beg, as I run my fingers through his beautiful locks. ‘Chris, please.’ I gasp when I feel his warm mouth on my aching center. He is fucking skilled with his tongue. He knows exactly what gets me off and he barely even knows me. I wrap my legs around his face. ‘Ri—Oh fuck, right there.’ I lean with my head against the back of the couch, as his tongue invades my tight hole from time to time.

No guy has ever done it like this before and no guy in the world can bring me towards the edge faster than Chris fucking Evans is doing. ‘I’m close, Chris,’ I cry out. For a second I fear he stops now, but this time he doesn’t.

Thank fuck he doesn’t.

He sucks sharply on my clit and it’s followed by the vibrations of his moans. I let out a strangled moan, as I don’t want to tell the entire hotel I’m having sex with Chris Evans.

Yet.

My body starts to shake on the couch as I ride out my high. I push his face away from my aching cunt, to catch my breath. ‘Shit, Chris,’ I chuckle. ‘You sure know what you are doing.’

Chris smugly grins, his beard covered in my juices, before he pushes himself up, so he can give me a long kiss on my lips. I taste myself, something that I normally hate, but right now, I love every single second of it. His lips slowly descend from mine to my jaw and to my neck. He wraps his lips around my hardened nipple and I arch by back in pleasure. The short hairs against prickling against my delicate skin.

He looks up at me with a smile, his eyes a few shades darker. He sits next to me on the couch and he gives me a kiss on my cheek. ‘Open your mouth, baby.’

No one has ever said that to me, but I oblige without thinking about it for a second. He pushes two fingers in my mouth and I run my tongue over them, nearly gagging on them as he sticks them deeper in my mouth. He pulls them out, drool dripping over my lips and chin. ‘Just tell me if you don’t want to do this or want to stop and I’ll stop right away.’

I nod and he dips two fingers inside. I try to push my legs together, but he hooks his ankle around mine, spreading my legs apart. His fingertips rub against the sensitive spot inside of me. His other hand is tangled in my hair, pulling the locks to give him more access to my neck. He continues to finger me at a pace that make my eyes roll back.

‘Come on, Luna,’ he encourages me, ‘you must let me know how you feel.’

‘Fuck,’ I choke out, but it’s followed by a pained moan.

He chuckle, pressing a tender kiss on my neck, before I feel his lips on my temple. ‘That’s a good girl. You are such a good girl for me.’

His thumb grazes over my clit and almost instantly my walls clench around his fingers, but I feel this unfamiliar feeling wash over me. Juices gush passed his fingers and I let out a pained sob as I close my eyes. I think I’m seeing stars. I hold his wrist, so he stops moving and I try to get my breathing a little normal. ‘Fuck, mister Evans,’ I breath out. ‘You are amazing.’

He slowly pulls his fingers out of me, before he kisses me softly.

‘I’ve never done that before,’ I admit, swallowing hard.

‘There is a first time for everything.’ He smiles at me and whispers: ‘You’re doing good, baby.’ He stands up from the couch and takes off his own clothes. I check out his body as his clothes drop to the floor. His perfect hip to shoulder ratio is perfect. I had an idea what he would look like naked, but rest assured: I’m not at all disappointed. His pubic hair is nicely groomed, his cock is thick and pretty long (changes are that I can feel him deep deep inside me).

Mister Chris Evans is very blessed.

‘On your back, baby,’ he whispers. I place my head on the cushion, as I position myself on the soft couch. He spreads my legs as he sits in between them. ‘Want to use a condom?’

‘I don’t,’ I whisper.

‘You still want to do this?’ he asks just in case.

I try to think back to the few bed partners I had and whether or not they ever asked me if I wanted to continue, if I still want to do this. Come to think of it: no one has ever asked me that. I nod. ‘I really do.’

Chris lines his tip with the bead of pre cum near my entrance, checking with me once more before he sinks into me, his thick length stretching me out. He is not even halfway in, when I hastily place my hand on his chest. ‘Oh shit, no stop,’ I say, panic dripping through every word I say. ‘Please, stop, Chris.’

‘I’m stopping, sweetheart. Talk to me. Are you okay?’ he asks, cupping my face with his strong hand.

‘It’s just that you are so big, Chris,’ I choke out. ‘Just give me a minute.’

I can see Chris wants to buff out his chest with pride, but he keeps it in. The burning stretch isn’t that terrible anymore. I give him a silent sign that he can continue and he slides all the way in.

Oh fuck, I spoke too soon, this burns way too much. I feel tears dripping over my cheeks. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I whisper.

‘Don’t feel sorry. I’m hurting you, aren’t I? And please be honest with me, baby.’

‘You’re hurting me a little,’ I admit.

He leans in and gives me a kiss on my lips. ‘That is absolutely not my intention. Try to relax,’ he says, as he reaches between us, so his thumb can toy with my sensitive clit. ‘Look at me, beautiful.’

I do as he tells me to do and bite my lip. ‘This feels good, Chris,’ I say in a tiny voice, as pleasure finally takes over again.

He smiles. ‘I can tell. You’re doing such a good job.’

‘You can move now,’ I whisper. I wrap my legs around his hips and he pulls out, before slowing sinking right back in. I tighten around his thick length. I mean, I have my fair share of sex toys and a few partners, but nothing had the girth his length has.

Almost a pornographic moan leaves my lips. I hide my face in my hands, but he pries my fingers away. ‘This is exactly what I want to hear, Luna. Use that pretty voice of yours to let the entire hotel know how good I’m making you feel.’

‘Shit, Chris, I’m gonna—’ I can’t even finish my sentence, as the rush of pleasure jolts through my entire body. I let out a painful cry against his shoulder, as he continues to thrust deep inside me, not slowing down. ‘Chris, I can’t do this anymore.’

No one has ever done this with me. Ever used me like this. Made me cum over and over again.

‘I’m almost there, sweetheart,’ he says, his tone soft. ‘Can you hang in there for me, baby? If not, just say so and I’ll stop.’

His hands are holding my face so gently, his lips pressing tender kisses on my lips, it all causes me to simply nod, though it’s so so sensitive down there.

‘You want me to continue?’

‘Yes,’ I whisper. ‘Please.’

‘Such a good girl,’ he says. ‘I’m very close, sweetheart. Where do you want me to cum, baby? Tell me.’

‘Inside,’ I moan out, as tears are dripping over my face. ‘Fuck, I really need it inside.’

His hands push my hips deep in the couch, speeding up his thrusts. I don’t care if anyone can hear us anymore, because I cry out loud. The room is filled with the obscene sounds that consist of how wet I am, skin against skin and his moans and my screams combined. From the way he is groaning, I can tell he is close.

I grab his face, press my lips firmly against his. His hips stutter against mine, as I feel the deep spurts of cum painting me from the inside. Chris rides out his high, placing his head on my chest, lingering inside for a brief moment. ‘Fuck,’ he says.

‘You can say that again,’ I laugh. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ he chuckles. ‘Haven’t done this in a very long time, that’s all. Are you okay? I’m sorry, I let myself go for a moment.’

‘I think I’m going to feel you for days,’ I admit. ‘With the way you used me.’

‘I didn’t hurt you, did I?’ he quickly asks. It’s sweet that he sounds so sincerely worried, a full one eighty from how he used me a few seconds ago.

I shake my head. ‘No, you didn’t. Just had to get used to you. I do think I could use a shower, though.’

‘Well, let me join you then.’ He carefully pulls out, a whimper leaving my lips. He pulls me up, but because of the existence of gravity, I feel his cum dripping down my thighs. Chris smiles when he notices it too and lifts me up in his arms, before peppering my face with kisses. ‘So, how about a second round in the shower?’

Taglist: @diegos-butt​

[madroxed]

“YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BOOK IS UPSIDE DOWN, RIGHT?” [fic meme. SIMON/RAPHAEL, COLLEGE AU, ENEMIES TO LOVERS. for @hoechlder​. @ao3.]

+

“Okay,” Raphael Santiago’s saying, leaning back smoothly in his chair in a way that would absolutely have Simon unbalancing onto the floor, and offering his trademark smug smile at the poor girl across the table, “but madness as a trope has been at the base of the ghost story at least since Shakespeare…”

Simon tunes him out. It’s probably a really good point and he should be making notes, but he just….can’t. Raphael starts talking and Simon automatically switches off; it’s been that way since approximately nought point two seconds into their freshman year when Raphael had eyed Simon’s ironic Care Bears t-shirt with disgust and asked him if he wasn’t confusing college with elementary school.

Simon hates him.

+

“You don’t hate him,” Jace says later, when Simon’s finishing up rant number 1458 on why Raphael Santiago has been put on this earth specifically to torture him. Clary shoots Jace a sceptical look so Simon doesn’t have to. “He’s part of your college experience. Everyone needs a good nemesis.”

“Um,” Clary says, “who’s yours?”

“Your father,” Jace says, like it’s obvious. “I didn’t say it had to be another student. Izzy’s is the conservative dress code, and Alec’s is every obnoxious heterosexual couple he knows.”

“That’s us,” Clary tells Simon with a smile.

Jace salutes. “It’s worse because he has to spend all his time with us, but better because he can tell us to our face how gross we are.” He wipes away a fake tear. “He’ll look back on those memories fondly.”

“Okay, I get it. You guys get off on tormenting Alec,” Simon says, “but just so we’re clear, Raphael Santiago really is the worst.”

“We know, honey,” Clary says, patting his leg.

Simon feels very patronized.

+

Magnus decides that a Wednesday night is a totally reasonable time to throw a party, which is patently untrue but they all go anyway.

They lose Alec almost immediately, taking up his place at Magnus’ side as his boyfriend holds court, and Izzy disappears shortly after, followed by the eyes of roughly a million admirers Simon can’t fault for a second.

“You good?” Clary asks, and Simon waves a hand.

“Go. Find a corner to make out in. I’ll be fine.”

“Great, thanks,” Jace says, tugging Clary away before she can change her mind.

“You’re blocking the door,” a horribly familiar voice says, and Simon squeezes his eyes shut for a long moment before stepping aside.

“What are you doing here?” Simon asks before he can stop himself. He doesn’t care, he really doesn’t, except that he absolutely does and it’s going to drive him crazy for the rest of the night.

Raphael shoots him a look that says he knows exactly how Simon feels. “Unfortunately, I live here.”

“Uh,” Simon says, and wonders if he knew that. He’s ninety-percent sure he didn’t, in which case he and Alec are going to have a serious chat. “Since when?”

“Since the start of the year.” Raphael rolls his eyes. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Magnus is technically my guardian. Was my guardian. Obviously that stopped being important when I turned eighteen, but the damage was done.”

“And by damage,” Simon says, “you mean emotions?”

He thinks Raphael may actually growl. It’s fascinating. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be studying? You looked a little lost in Monday’s seminar…”

“Wow,” Simon says, and wonders where the alcohol is, “A, not all of us feel the need to take over discussions. And B, fuck you.”

Raphael smirks, and Simon wants to scream. No one in the world is able to get under his skin this much, and that’s saying something considering he and Jace accidentally became friends in sophomore year.

“I’m walking away now,” Simon says, and ignores Raphael’s mocking laugh behind him.

+

Simon’s drunk. Very, very drunk. Possibly the most drunk he’s ever been.

“Nope,” Clary says, pointing her glass at him. Half of it sloshes over the rim. “Remember prom? We were wasted.”

“God,” Simon says, scrunching up his nose. “That was bad.”

“So bad,” Clary agrees. “Where’s the vodka?”

Simon passes her a bottle that, actually, may be tequila? Honestly at this point he’s not sure it matters.

“Did you know Raphael lives here?” he asks out of nowhere, and Clary gasps.

“No! Here here?”

“Yep!”

Clary blinks and drinks her tequila. “Wow. So weird. You should go say hi!”

Simon snorts. “I already did. Sort of.”

“Well go say it again,” Clary says, pushing ineffectively at his arm. “With sexy eyes or something.”

Simon’s brain shorts out. “…What? Why?”

Clary laughs. “Because you like him, doofus. You like like him. You want to kiss him and marry him and be shouty about…comic books and that show only you two watch forever.”

“You liar,” Simon says, because all of that is blatantly untrue. Clary has no idea what she’s talking about. Absolutely none. Simon hates Raphael. Hates his stupid smug smile and his expensive jackets and his perfect hair and the way he always makes Simon feel hot and awkward and like he’s the only person in the room.

“Oh shit,” he says, and Clary nods, patting him on the shoulder.

“S’ok,” she says.

“It really, really isn’t,” Simon says and snatches the bottle of tequila back.

+

It’s very possible he’s dying. Everything’s both very loud and very bright even though his eyes are definitely still closed, and it tastes like something’s died on his tongue.

“Fuck,” he croaks and rolls over only to crash promptly to the floor. “Fuck.”

When he finally manages to open his eyes, Raphael’s staring down at him, wearing a heavy brocade robe and holding a truly giant mug. “You okay down there?”

“Your couch sucks,” Simon says, and Raphael shrugs.

“Magnus chose it, blame him.”

“Where’s everyone else?” Simon asks, attempting to sit up and failing spectacularly.

“They, like normal house guests, went home when the party finished.”

“Ah,” Simon says. “And, uh, I…didn’t?”

Raphael frowns. “You don’t remember?”

“Nope,” Simon says with a wince. “Too much…I’m gonna guess tequila based on the throbbing behind my eyes.”

“…Right,” Raphael says, and if Simon didn’t know better he’d say he was upset. He’s probably just mad that Simon’s still there, taking up his couch on a Thursday morning and stopping him reading the entire works of Tolstoy or whatever it is Raphael does for fun.

“I’ll get out of your hair as soon as I can, you know, stand up without breaking something.”

Raphael sighs. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.”

+

The kitchen’s a disaster zone, bottles and empty cups everywhere, and Simon doesn’t want to know what he just stepped in. Still, the smell of fresh coffee manages to take away some of the edge and Simon goes through cupboards until he finds a mug almost as large of Raphael’s.

“So,” he says, when Raphael follows him as far as the doorframe, “did you, uh, need help cleaning up, or…?”

“You really don’t remember anything about last night?” Raphael says, ignoring the question, and Simon frowns.

“I mean, I remember getting here and you telling me you live here, and I remember Jace starting up a game of beer pong, but after that…nope, not really.”

“Do you remember the party Magnus threw for Isabelle’s birthday our freshman year?” Raphael asks, which is completely out of left field, wow.

“Sure,” Simon says carefully. “Not the specifics, but I remember it was a fun night.”

“So,” Raphael says, and Simon’s not so hungover he doesn’t recognize the danger in his tone, “you don’t remember finding me on the balcony and telling me that you, and I quote, found me ‘super hot, especially when I do that smug asshole thing.’?”

Simon blinks.

“And,” Raphael continues, “you don’t remember the fourth of July when you brought me melted ice-cream and told me you liked my voice? Or the time you kissed me in the garden at one of Isabelle’s stupid sorority parties?” He takes a step forward and Simon swallows nervously. “Or last night when you found me in my room and told me you wanted to marry me and have shouty arguments forever?”

“Um,” Simon says.

“I see,” Raphael says. “It was just the tequila, then.”

He turns to leave and Simon finally remember to actually do something.

“Wait,” he says, and Raphael pauses. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Raphael looks at him like he’s an idiot. Which…fair. “Because you didn’t.”

Which—

Fuck.

The thing is, well, okay, yeah. Simon’s had a crush on Raphael since he insulted his Care Bears t-shirt and proceeded to start an argument over the benefits of new media in literary studies. He knows this. Sure, he tries to keep it buried as far down in his own denial as he can, but it doesn’t help when he spends most of every shared seminar they have staring at the sharp jut of Raphael’s collarbone beneath his stupidly expensive button-downs.

It’s a thing.

He just…hadn’t known that maybe it was a shared thing.

“I woke up on the couch,” he says, which isn’t at all what he’d meant to come out of his mouth but at least it’s a full sentence.

“Obviously,” Raphael says. “You were wasted.”

“So I didn’t kiss you?”

The corner of Raphael’s mouth tilts up, just a little. “Oh, you did.”

“So you didn’t kiss me back?” Simon says, piecing events together slowly but surely.

“I never do,” Raphael says, and Simon frowns, feeling confused and a little hurt. “I always tell you to kiss me when you’re sober. You never do.”

Simon, it turns out, is the biggest idiot on the planet. Clearly college is wasted on him.

“Right,” he says, digging the last remnants of his bravery out from his pounding skull. “Right.”

It’s probably not super romantic that he steps in the wet patch again, but as first kisses goes it’s…well. It’s pretty fucking excellent, actually.

Right up until Raphael pulls away.

“God, you really need to brush your teeth.”

“Yeah,” Simon says, backing up awkwardly. “Yeah, I’ll just—”

“There’s spare toothbrushes under the sink,” Raphael says, rolling his eyes, but the flush on his cheeks gives him away.

“Be right back,” Simon says, and tries to remember where the bathroom is.

+

Raphael’s doing the leaning thing again. Simon wants to try it but he’s not going to risk crashing to the floor whilst they’re still in the honeymoon phase. Besides, he doesn’t think he’d look anywhere near as cool.

Raphael’s embroidered jacket is draped over the back of his chair and his shirt is unbuttoned at the collar, and Simon has no idea what conversation the professor’s just struck up.

Which isn’t too different from normal, really.

Raphael catches his eye and Simon’s heart does a truly embarrassing skippy thing in his chest.

“You know that your book is upside down, right?” Raphael says, smirk sliding into place, and Simon sighs.

He can always kiss it away later.

+

[for the au + trope + prompt game. send me one!]

[stevesnailbat]

for the first time: part two | steve harrington

summary: A series of events through Steve’s relationship with the love of his life.

warnings: angst, mentions of cheating, jealousy, underage drinking

word count: 4.2K

a/n: READ PART ONE HERE, but here’s part two! Hope you all enjoy :)

She woke up in her bed next to an empty bottle of wine and a necklace that had been broken at the clasp when ripped off of her neck, presumably from her own doing. Her alarm clock was blaring and her mom knocked on her door loudly, telling her that she would be late if she didn’t get up now.

“Shit.” she mumbled under her breath as she stuffed the empty wine bottle deep into her closet after springing up from her bed.

As she ran around to get ready for school, Y/N desperately tried to remember what had happened the night before. When she eventually remembered, tears pricked her eyes as she tried to brush off the thought. She had caught Steve, who she thought was the love of her life, making out with and feeling up another girl, getting ready to take her clothes off.

They had gone to a party at Carol’s house and Steve got too drunk for his own good. She couldn’t keep track of him and eventually gave up, thinking he would just be hanging out with the boys, as usual. Turns out she was wrong and he was just looking for another girl to hook up with, and he had the audacity to do it when she was there. He had become distant a few weeks back, but she brushed it off as him being in a bad mood because of his dad pressuring him to do something after high school ended in a few months.

She was a sobbing mess in the corner of Carol’s living room afterwards and Steve nor anybody else there even said anything to her. Although she was in a crowded room filled with people, she had never felt so alone in her life. It seemed as though nobody cared about her when she wasn’t with Steve now, since her reputation had been slightly tainted. Nancy and Jonathan saw her curled up on the couch with tear stained cheeks and a bottle of wine on their way out. They dragged her out of the party and helped her get home, but couldn’t stay to help her through the night. That was when she finished the bottle and ripped the necklace off her neck.

The worst part about the whole situation was that everyone would already know about it at school, since it happened at a party. So, she had to show up to school and be talked about all day. They were going to talk if she wasn’t there or not, so she decided she would show up and be strong. She would try to hold herself together and not show everyone how her heart was breaking more and more every second.

Y/N quickly finished getting ready and grabbed her backpack before rushing downstairs. She said a short goodbye to her parents at the kitchen table before running out the door, for the sake of them not seeing her puffy, tired eyes. She drove to school in record time, making it there 5 minutes before classes started. That gave her enough time to go straight to her first period of the day, English, without having to talk to anybody on the way. Plenty of people stared and whispered as she passed quickly, but she ignored them all with her typical fake confidence.

English, chemistry, calculus and biology seemed to take an eternity to pass, but she made it through without talking to anybody about the situation. She had made it to lunch without seeing Steve, too. She knew his schedule by heart, so she avoided the halls he took and the hall by his locker at all costs. But, she knew lunch would be the time that could ruin everything. Nancy and Jonathan found her as she was getting her lunch from her locker, remorseful looks spread across their faces.

“How are you feeling?” Nancy questioned as the sat down in the lunch room.

“I’m fine. Just a little hungover, that’s all. I did finish that bottle I was clinging to when I got home.” Y/N chuckled, trying to joke to ease the awkward situation.

Jonathan looked at her with a furrowed brow before pointing at her neck curiously. “What happened?” he implored.

She reached to her neck and realized the tenderness of it when her fingers grazed where her necklace once rested. “I was mad...So I broke my necklace that he gave me a while ago. I don’t want to wear his name around my neck if he can’t even respect me enough to leave me instead of cheating.” she says smugly and the two nod, agreeing which her justification.

“He really is an idiot. Especially to do something so stupid that would make you, his dream girl, leave him. I never thought he would break your heart.” Nancy says curtly, shaking her head in disapproval.

After that, they sit in silence for a while, eating their lunches. Y/N didn’t really know what to say in reply to Nancy, since she implied that she thought she would be the one to break Steve’s heart. Lunch ended soon after and she was off to her locker alone for the first time all day. She had avoided stopping there by keeping her books with her, but it was getting too heavy. To her dismay, the person she least wanted to see was waiting for her there.

Steve looked at her with hurt and some hope left in his eyes but was met with her empty and broken eyes when he looked at her. She looked done with the conversation before it even started. He stood to the side of her locker as she did her combination and opened it. The whole time she stood there, she ignored him.

“Y/N-“ Steve started but was cut off when she put her hand up in annoyance.

“I don’t want to hear it, Steve. I don’t want to hear excuses. I get it. You were bored with me and wanted something different. But did you really have to do it at a party that I was also at and before breaking up with me? That’s fucking low, asshole.” she says spitefully, her words dripping with hatred as she stares up at him sharply.

He wanted to explain everything, how he was too drunk to realize that it wasn’t her, how she kissed him first and called him the same nickname Y/N called him, how she pulled him into that bedroom. He didn’t even remember seeing her after getting to the party, let alone seeing her come into the room they were in. But, Steve knew she was hurt and there wouldn’t be anything that he could say to help that hurt. She wouldn’t believe him if he said it wasn’t his fault, she was too far gone at that point.

His eyes fall to her neck to see his necklace missing and a large scraping bruise along both sides of it. She had said to him once that she wouldn’t take it off as long as he still loved her, and Steve had promised her that would be forever. Obviously it didn’t seem like he loved her anymore to her, so she ripped it off with no remorse.

Even if she was coming off as strong-willed and confident in a hard situation, he could see right through it. She was hurting so much. He heard the way her voice cracked when she cut him off, he saw the remnants of smudged mascara underneath her eyes from last night, he saw her digging her nails into her palms, reminding herself to stay strong. He knew he had fucked up, he was at a loss for words.

“I’ll be over at seven tonight to drop anything I have of yours off. Leave what’s mine on the front porch. I won’t be talking to you when I come, Harrington.” she said strongly, keeping herself together surprisingly well despite feeling nauseous at the thought of letting go of everything that they had built together. With that, she walked away from him and slammed her locker shut, leaving him with his jaw unhinged, words left on the tip of his tongue that he would never get to say to her.

Seven rolls around and Steve hears Y/N pull into his driveway and get out of her car while he sits in the living room quietly. He wants to go to his porch so badly, but he can’t do it to her. She wasn’t holding herself together like she had been at school, and Steve could see that from the window when she came to the front porch. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, she had changed into sweats, and she didn’t care that her hair was a mess. It was like she was trying to make Steve’s heart break more than it already had, but she really didn’t know he was watching in the window.

She sets the box of Steve’s things on the welcome mat in front of the door, which included some sweatshirts, a pair of boxers, two t-shirts, a teddy bear, pictures that Jonathan had taken of them, the broken necklace, and a letter she wrote to him. Her letter to him was her closure, her way of telling him that he broke her heart and that she would try to move on, no matter how much she still loved him. Tears freely flow from her eyes as she looks over at the box next to the door he had left.

Her box was smaller, since it seemed she always stole his things instead of the other way around. In her box was a set of red lingerie she had worn for him at the beginning of the month for Valentine’s day, a pair of slippers she had left there because she hated walking on cold tile, the maroon turtleneck she had worn the night of their first time, some pictures of her and the two of them that he had taken poorly with his polaroid camera, and a letter to her. His letter to her explained what happened that night, how he deserved to get his heart broken by her, and how he would still love her, even if she did move on. Before she can become too upset, Y/N grabs her box hastily and moves back towards her car. On her way back, she sees five kids pull up on bikes through her teary eyes, the party.

“Y/N!” Max calls out from the yard where they sat their bikes down.

She wipes her tears away quickly and waves back at Max and the gang, putting on a fake smile. “Hi guys! I can’t stay, I have to go.” Y/N says in return and the group frowns almost in unison. “See you guys later!”

Dustin goes to say something but is cut off by the sound of her car door shutting and the engine starting up. The party is confused, but doesn’t question it until they get up to Steve’s front door, to be faced with the box labeled ‘Steve’ along the side. “Holy shit.” Dustin mumbles as the door swings open. Steve lets out a sigh when he sees the party at the door, but grabs the box and lets them into his house. He knew he would have to eventually tell them the story, so he might as well do it while they’re here.

Y/N pulled out of the driveway with teary eyes, knowing that she wouldn’t be around the party much after that last terrible interaction. Steve would tell them what happened, but she didn’t know if he would twist it to make her look bad or not. She drove home in somewhat of a daze, her sniffles being the only noise to fill the quiet air. She knew that somehow she would have to get over him, she couldn’t let him ruin her like this. She was going to seem unbothered by this in public, even if it broke her. She didn’t want him to see her weakness anymore, that side of her was closed off to him from now on.

—

It had been a month since Y/N and Steve had broken up and neither of them had really moved on. Steve was single and not looking to find anyone new, but Y/N had set out to break his heart like he broke hers. She started to flirt with the one person she knew would drive Steve up the wall with rage, Billy Hargrove. Billy happily obliged to fucking with Harrington when she began reciprocating his flirtatious jokes. He knew exactly what she was doing, and he was loving it. On their first date, Y/N made it very clear what she was doing. She wasn’t capable of anything more than a lustful relationship at the moment and wanted to make Steve hurt; she knew Billy was a pretty heartless person, so he was perfect for the job.

It started out as a strictly sexual relationship, but they quickly grew closer. Billy and Y/N would spend day and night together, laughing, crying, telling each other everything. She poured her heart out to him and he actually listened, which shocked her. He was different behind closed doors and it was starting to grow on her.

“You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?” Billy questioned one night, laying in his bed with Y/N after one of their late night encounters.

The two of them had been laughing and talking for about an hour when he brought Steve up, which made her go mute. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Billy.” she said timidly, avoiding his eyes as she spoke. It hurt too much to admit what she actually felt. It was as if every time she admitted her feelings about anything, it would all blow up in her face, so she never spoke anything to existence.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. I can tell what this is. I can see the way you look at him in the hallway at school, I see the way you act when you remember things about him that made you happy or that make you miss him. As much as I hate the kid, I can’t deny that I can see how in love you are still. I’d have to be a complete idiot to say that you were anywhere near falling for me.” Billy said, his hands combing through her hair as he spoke.

She didn’t say anything in reply, but the tears that fell onto his bare chest as they laid there in silence said everything he needed to know. He knew she wouldn’t admit it, it hurt her too much to talk about it. She felt comforted by the fact that Billy didn’t question her too much, that he cared enough to be there for her when she cried but not enough to be overbearing. She liked being with him, the way he laughed with her and pulled her close, or kissed her deeply when they were alone made her feel somewhat normal again.

He was different in bed than Steve ever was, too. Billy was rougher, more controlling, and dominated over her at all times. She seemed to enjoy it, though; he had done things to her that she had never experienced before. He would always make sure she was taken care of afterwards though, never leaving her feeling neglected after being rough with her. There was no love in their relationship, though. No butterflies came to her stomach when she would go to his house, she wouldn’t get excited every time they would kiss like she did with Steve. He realized that she wasn’t emotionally with him and respected it. Even if neither of them were in love or falling in love, they sure as hell acted like it in public.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Steve groaned when he saw her with Billy in the parking lot before school for the first time.

“Holy shit.” Dustin said from his passenger seat, leaning over to press his face against the window and get a better look. “Well that’s a couple that I never expected to see together.”

“Shut up, Dustin. You don’t have to rub it in my face.” Steve sneers, shooting him a quick glare before turning his attention back to the couple standing in the parking lot.

Jealousy grew inside of Steve as she stood in front of Billy, who leaned against his blue Camaro coolly. She stood on her toes and grinned up at Billy as if to ask for a kiss and he happily reciprocates, leaning down to her lips as his hands snake around her waist. Billy and Y/N both knew Steve was watching, so they put on a show for him. Billy's possessive hands stayed somewhere on her waist or back every time they were together, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.

Steve was hurt, confused and broken. But he knew that he was the reason she was doing what she was. She was trying to remind him of the broken promises and empty apologies he had left her with after they broke up. Was he just selfish? Maybe. But he wanted her and didn’t want her to be with anybody else. His heart broke every time he saw them together, every time Billy touched her skin or kissed her lips when he was around. It should have been Steve doing that, and she knew it all too well. As much as it hurt her to be kissing someone else in front of him, Y/N wanted Steve to feel remorse for his stupidity.

In reality, she was waiting for him to come crawling back to her. She had too much pride to make any first move towards getting back together with him. If that meant she had to wait months for him, she would. Billy and Y/N planned on breaking up after a few weeks to test Steve. She wanted him to do something, say anything about her, even give her a sympathetic or sad look in the hallway. And so she waited, trying to see what Steve would do after hearing of her and Billy breaking off whatever they had. She cried into her pillow every night, hoping that maybe Steve would come to her window to talk to her. She sat in the living room to do her homework after school, hoping that maybe Steve would come to the front door to apologize to her. She hoped and wished, but it seemed like nothing was going to happen. In reality, she just missed everything that they had together.

—

Two weeks after Billy and Y/N broke up, Steve began to see what she had been doing all along. She was trying to make him feel the way she did when she saw him with another girl. Deep down, he kept telling himself that she really did believe his letter from the box of her things. He was right, too. She was waiting for him to come to her, her pride wouldn’t let her come crawling back to Steve.

And Steve did exactly what she needed him to do; she knew him all too well. He waited until the time was right before trying anything, though. He could tell she was struggling when April came around, since graduation was right around the corner. She wasn’t graduating, but Steve was and that stressed her out more than going into her senior year did. She thought their time had run out and that he would leave for somewhere bigger and better. Little did she know, Steve wasn’t leaving Hawkins any time soon and wanted her to be on his side.

Steve waited until halfway through April to even attempt to talk to her again. The first time he tried to go to her locker, he was stopped by Jonathan on the way; he needed help with some pictures. The second time, he got caught up in the sea of people in the school hallway and didn’t want to be late to his English class again. The third time, he chickened out before he made it to her locker. After those three times, he promised himself that he would do something about it outside of school. The hallway seemed too public for him to even talk to her.

One day in late April, Steve finally mustered up enough courage to talk to her. Unfortunately, the day he planned on talking to her in the parking lot after class was a day that it poured rain, and he hadn’t brought an umbrella or worn a hooded jacket. Nevertheless, he had enough strength to talk to her and he was going to do it either way. He tried to get her attention in the front hallway before she walked out the front doors, but he failed miserably. He grabbed for her shoulder, but missed and almost face planted in front of the whole school.

He looked like a stalker, following her to the car in the rain, but he didn’t care. She had an umbrella covering her head as she ran towards her car in the pouring rain. Y/N was caught off guard when she saw a sopping wet boy out of the corner of her eye as she fumbled with her keys. She looked over at him with wide and curious eyes as Steve stood there, the rain pulling his hair down in front of his eyes.

“Can we talk?” Steve called out, trying to speak loud enough for her to hear him over the roaring rain.

“I don’t know, Steve. What in God’s name would you even want to talk to me about?” she questions from under the umbrella, trying to keep her typically brave facade up.

“Oh give it a rest, Y/N! You know exactly why I want to talk to you. Please.” he practically begs as everything on his person becomes drenched with rain.

She can’t tell for sure, but she could have sworn that she saw a tear in the corner of his eye; it was either that or a rogue raindrop that hit his eye. Her gaze softens when she realizes how serious he was being, his tone filled with pain. She nods hesitantly and quickly unlocks her car door, reaching to unlock the passenger side also. Steve hurries to the door and slides in, letting some rain in as he does.

“Before you say anything or cut me off. Just let me say that I’m sorry, I really am. You never gave me a chance to say that in person, and I understand why. But I’m fucking sorry, Y/N. And I love you, still.” Steve says quickly, staring over at her hopefully.

Almost immediately her eyes well up with tears and she tries to blink them away, but it doesn’t work. That’s what she had needed the whole time, just a simple apology. And he had never tried to give it to her. “You’ve had two months to say that, Steve.” she says calmly, staring down at the keys that sat in her lap. “I’ve been waiting for that for two damn months, you asshole.” she says with an exasperated laugh.

“What? That’s all I needed to do? Was say sorry? What the fu-“

“I was going to give you a chance to explain yourself if you apologized to me that night. You didn’t even realize I had seen it. You didn’t run after me or even acknowledge me when you came out of that bedroom and saw me crying on the couch as I slammed back my second bottle of wine by myself. But I guess that damn letter explained everything I needed to know. I didn’t want to believe that you would purposefully do that to me in the first place. I knew you loved me and that something had happened but I was too hurt to think about it, Steve. I didn’t even see you smoking weed with that girl, but obviously whatever you both had was not good and you need a new dealer.” Y/N says, shaking her head again as tears fell from her cheeks and onto her lap.

“Y/N, like I said...I’m so fucking sorry. I know I hurt you so bad. I deserve everything you’ve done to make me hurt back in the past two months. I didn’t deserve to get you back right away. But I love you more than you know, and I don’t know if I could handle you being with another guy again. Even if it wasn’t a real relationship.” Steve said, his lips curving into a tiny smile when he mentions her fake relationship with Billy.

She rolls her eyes and a small laugh escapes her lips at his words. Finally, she makes eye contact with him and sees that she was right; his eyes were teary and his nose red. Without saying another word, she reached across the console of her car and cupped his cheeks softly. The only noise to be heard in the car was the sound of the rain dripping down on the roof. She gazed into his tired, glassy eyes for a moment before kissing him softly.

“I love you too, Steve.”

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner Ch26: The Only One In Colour

Summary: It’s the big day...Katie and Steve finally tie the knot!

Warnings: Bad language, Fluff, Smut! (NSFW, Under 18s) Bad Language words, a hungover Captain...and who is that lurking in the shadows??

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist 

 31st August 2015.

It took Katie a while to realise where she was when she woke. As her mind came to he realised she was in her apartment at the tower, and when her eyes flew to the dress in its cover which was hanging up in the open closet her stomach did a flip.

It was her wedding day!

“Good Morning Miss Stark…” Friday spoke, and Katie grinned. Miss Stark, not for much longer! “Miss Potts requested I inform her when you are awake…”

“Go ahead.” she grinned, and jumped out of bed, grinning at the reflection of her tacky ‘Bride’ short and vest Pyjamas that the girls had surprised her with last night when they had been sat around having their pamper session with several glasses of champagne. Making her way into the living room she was greeted by a loud squeal from Wanda, who along with Laura Barton had stayed in her apartment last night.  Considering the amount of champagne that had been drunk, they all had surprisingly clear heads. It wasn’t long before the Pepper and Nat arrived, and after a breakfast of fruit, pastries and croissants provided by the local bakery, Katie was ushered into the shower surprised at how calm she actually felt...

The boys, however, were faring a little worse, especially after Tony had cracked open a bottle of his dad’s vintage scotch which he had been saving for a special occasion and Thor had supplied Steve with copious amounts of that lethal Asgardian liquor along with some equally as potent Asgardian Ale. The Groom cracked one eye open and groaned when he realised he had passed out, fully clothed, on the sofa, Tony face down along the other side of it, drooling into the cushions. Steve looked round, Clint was on the large arm chair, Sam was sprawled on the large rug and Thor nowhere to be seen. Jesus Christ it had been a heavy one.

Of all the days to get his first hangover in over 70 years…his wedding morning.

His wedding morning. Shit.

Sitting up, a stupid grin on his face, headache forgotten he nudged Tony with his foot. The billionaire jerked and tumbled off the side of the sofa.

“Whassgoin on?” he said, blinking before he grimaced “Shit, my head…”

Clint let out a groan “Keep it down man…”

Sam let out an equally pained noise, not moving “What day is it?” “My wedding day, fellas.” Steve said, grinning.

Tony groaned again, leaning back against the sofa “How are you so sprightly old man?” “Trust me I’m not.” he said, standing up “But Katie will kill me if we turn up like this.”

“Coffee…” Clint said, standing up and swaying slightly “We need coffee…” “And food.” Sam mumbled into the rug

“Good job I organised some.” Tony said, looking at his watch, squinting. “Should be arriving soon.” “Where’s Thor?” Clint looked around.

“Here…” came the Man’s deep voice as he strolled into the room. He was already dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt and his hair was damp from the shower

“Man, how are you so alive?” Sam sighed, sitting up.

“Because…” he shrugged “ I am the God of Thunder.” ******

Two hours later Pepper was bustling around topping everyone’s Champagne up and when she reached Katie she gave her a fond smile “You ok?”

“Yeah…” she smiled back “Maybe a little nervous, but mostly excited…I can’t believe I’m finally walking down the aisle, you know?”

Pepper nodded, a grin spreading across her face “Yeah…Tony has been on the job making sure the marquee was right, caterers have arrived. I got a full blow by blow and he was nearly having had a fit when the alcohol and bar arrived an entire 4 minutes and 34 seconds late.” “I thought organisation was your job?” Nat quipped from where she was lounging in her light blue ‘Bridesmaid’ robe.

“It is.” she rolled her eyes “And I told him it would be ok but…well, he just want everything to be right for his little girl…” Katie rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her lips at the thought of her brother still trying to make sure she was happy.

“Where is he now?” she asked.

“He spent the night with the boys at the compound so he’ll be on his way back shortly to get changed. Apparently they sat outside at the compound with a bottle of whiskey and a few Cubans...few sore heads this morning” Pepper smirked. “Even Steve is feeling it.”

Katie grinned, she’d only seen drunk Steve a handful of times, and he was definitely one of her favourite Steves.

"Clint mentioned that Tony had some Cubans last night. He seemed pretty excited." Laura said.

Wanda shook her head. "What is it about men and cigars?"

Natasha shrugged. "I like cigars."

“What a surprise…” Laura grinned, earning herself a glare off the red head. They were cut off then by FRIDAY informing them that Mateo, the hair stylist had arrived. Pepper told her to send him up and suddenly the room was filled with him, his assistants and his over the top personality, the one that Katie always loved when I went to get my hair done.

And then, it was down to business. He knew exactly what Katie wanted as she’d had a rehearsal and he set about, sweeping her brunette locks up into the up-do she’d picked- a bun which had a few small plaits running from my crown into it, her sweeping fringe perfectly set to frame my face.

Time seemed to fly and soon enough Katie was then in front of the make-up artist.

"Don't worry about a thing," the tiny blonde in front of her said as Katie asked her to do her best to cover the scars by her mouth and temple that Hydra had left. “You're going to look perfect. I promise."

Another glass of champagne made it into Katie’s hand and 30 minutes later she was done and handed a mirror. Her mouth dropped open. Someone else, but yet, still her glanced back. Her make-up was heavy enough to last the day she suspected, but it was subtle enough to not be ridiculous. She had a light, neutral shade across her eye lids, which had a darker colour in the crease and a hit of sparkle. The contouring was amazing and the light gloss on her lips set everything off. And her scars were gone.

There was another announcement from FRIDAY about a delivery, and all of them looked at one another. “That’s not me I swear…” Pepper said.

“I’ll go…” Nat offered, “I’m done…”

She headed out of the room and Katie stood up to allow Pepper to sit down for the make-up artist in the seat next to where Wanda was sat having the finishing touches done to her face. She looked amazing, dark smoky eye-shadow set off her eyes and red locks perfectly.

Natasha arrived back with a huge bouquet of flowers, tied with a blue ribbon, which sat in a clear bag of water and a small Cartier bag.

“For the bride…” she said and Katie took the bouquet, smiling, not even needing to read the card to know who they were from.

“They’re from Steve…” she smiled.

“How do you know?” Laura frowned. “They’re the ones in my tattoo” she said as she placed them gently on the kitchen area of her Tower Apartment admitting the various lilies, daisies and greenery. “My favourite flowers.”

She picked the card out of the bouquet, spotting Steve’s looping scrawl straight away.

I can’t wait to make you Mrs Rogers baby doll.

“That’s disgustingly cute…” Laura said, reading the card over her shoulder as she grinned at the simple yet meaningful message.

“Steve all over.” Katie smiled before she opened the bag. She pulled out a small box and opened it, her mouth falling open at the beautiful diamond studs inside. They were shaped like stars, subtle but still evident enough for everyone to notice.

“Star Spangled Man with a Plan.” Nat smirked and she turned to her grinning.

And suddenly the excitement washed over her. This was happening. Actually happening.

“Shit!” she said, wheeling round as her stomach started to flip “Oh my god ladies…I’m getting married!”

**** Steve finished brushing off his shoes which were polished that much he could almost see his face in them. With a groan as the pain in his head had once again reared, damned that fucking Asgardian shit, he slipped them on and laced them up, he then turned his attention to his hair. Once he was happy with that it was time for his tie. He hadn’t taken the decision to wear his army uniform lightly. It had been one he had agonised over for ages, but after Katie had told him it was entirely his choice but to stay true to who he was, he’d realised that before Captain America, he’d been Steve Rogers, and all he had ever wanted was to be in the army. So he was going to be Captain Rogers today, who he was. There was a knock on the bedroom door and Sam walked in, already in his uniform. Steve smiled at him in the mirror before expertly tying the double-windsor and turning round.

“Got the rings?” Sam asked. Steve nodded to the two boxes sat on the dresser. Picking them up Sam slid them into his breast pockets, fastening the buttons.

“Nervous?” he asked and Steve smiled. Was he?

“Kinda.” he shrugged “Don’t wanna mess up my vows but I’m not nervous about marrying her, nothing has ever felt more right.”

Sam smiled and swept the man up into a bro-hug, clapping his back. “Tony’s heading off to the tower now. Marquee is ready, waiters are here setting the tables…it’s all going to plan.” “Maybe once it might stay that way.” Steve said and Sam chuckled.

“How’s the head?” he asked.

Steve let out a sigh “Pounding…as best man I’m holding you totally responsible.”

Sam shrugged “Wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve been blamed for.”

Steve snorted.

“You know what you need?” Sam looked at him said “A leveller.” “A what?” Steve asked

“Another drink, hair of the dog that bit you and all that…”

At the thought of another drink Steve’s stomach lurched and he shook his head.

“Trust me.” Sam said, as he left the bedroom “It never fails. How do you think I’ve just cured mine?” Steve followed him into the living room. A photographer was there taking snaps and Thor was loudly asking what he was doing and why until Sam explained Clint was already in his suit and Thor was in his Asgardian dress, but this was different. Instead of the silver and red Steve was used to seeing him in his robes were a glittering white lined with gold piping, his cape was deep blue and his hair was well groomed.

“Wow Thor.” Steve said.

“Traditional Asgardian formal dress.” he said “Little Stark’s request, which reminds me…” he jerked his head signalling for the Captain to follow him. Frowning slightly he did and the men stepped outside.

“Little Stark is very dear to me.” he began. “But she is your intended I thought it only right to ask your permission to give something to her.”

“Ok…” Steve said puzzled.

“I have a headdress.” Thor said, “It belonged to my mother and has been passed down the line for years. I would very much like to offer it to her to wear today.” Steve smiled, the man’s care for his girl was genuinely something he liked. He was a good man to have onside, and his intentions were always honourable. “She’ll love that.” He said, nodding. Thor shook his hand and held out his hand, Steve just getting out of the way before Mjolnir flew into it. With a nod to the Captain and a promise to be back shortly he went.

******

Pepper and Natasha looked stunning in their pale blue bridesmaid dresses. Knee length, skater style with off the shoulder straps. Laura’s dress was also blue, but a dark shade peplum style with a slit up the side and Wanda’s was slightly more grungy, almost 50s style, navy blue with polka-dots and a large, puffy skirt. All 4 of them looked amazing.

Katie told them so, beaming, and then Pepper informed her it was time to get into her dress. In a daze Katie stepped into it, Pepper’s fingers deftly doing up the buttons, before she smoothed down and fluffed out the skirt. Katie stepped into her heels, took a glance in the mirror and felt the tears prick her eyes.

“Don’t…” Pepper instructed, handing her a tissue from a box on the side, one which she had clearly bought, prepared to the very end “You’ll set me off…and there’s gonna be enough of that when Tony sees you.” “Where is he?” Katie asked, tissue gently dabbing at her eyes.

“Just getting into his suit” Pepper said. “He won’t be long. Ready?”

She nodded and the 2 of them made their way out of the bedroom and into the hall, the photographer that had been taking photos all morning was waiting, snapping away, capturing she hoped the look on the girls faces as for the first time ever she saw Natasha’s eyes watering over.

“Shit Nova…” she said, her hand flying to her mouth. “Wow…” Katie grinned at her, and was about to answer when the elevator door slid open.

"I'm looking for the one wearing white." A familiar voice teased as Tony stepped into the apartment, making her turn to face him. He stopped dead, his eyes widening.

“Oh Kiddo, you look incredible." he said, swallowing slightly.

“Thank you, so do you." she said, gesturing to the charcoal suit and light blue Stock Tie he was wearing. Tony took a glass of champagne that Pepper handed to him but before he could say anything else someone else stepped into the apartment. A tall, large blonde God dressed in gold and white Asgardian armour beamed at her.

“Thor!” Katie almost shrieked, as he strode across the room to wrap his arms around me.

“Little Stark…you look beautiful.” He smiled down at her, “I cannot stop long I just wanted to give you something.”

She frowned as he held up his hammer and with a flash she felt something land on her head. She reached up gently and felt the outline of a tiara perched on her hair.

“What…” “It was my mothers.” he said gently “I do not have a sister, you are the closest thing to it and I’d be honoured if you would wear it…” Katie was speechless as she crossed to the mirror. Made of a silvery metal, it consisted of intricate lines and reminded her somewhat of how the lost Diadem of Ravenclaw had looked in the Harry Potter film. It shimmered in the light and was adored with what looked like diamonds, a larger deep red stone in the centre and she could just make out the small ancient Asgardian runes

“Thor…I…” she turned to him, unable to speak. “I told your Captain of my intention.” he beamed. “He thought you would appreciate it. The runes are an ancient Asgardian blessing, they wish the bearer happiness and safety” “It’s beautiful, thank you…” her voice cracked.

He swept her up in another hug and nodded. “I must go now, back to the compound. Barton and Birdman and doing one final sweep of the grounds. I said I would help before we meet at the church.”

A final squeeze and nod and he left the room, and minute later she heard the tell-tale whoosh as he summoned the bi-frost.

“I really hope he was on the jet pad…” Tony grumbled. “Those damned marks are impossible to shift.” ***** Against his better judgment Steve had a ‘leveller’- another shot of that lethal liquor, and to his surprise it had actually gone someway to sorting his head out. Either that or his metabolism was finally working it out of his system. But now he had another issue…

“Where the hell is it?” he was getting flustered now. How the HELL had he misplaced his suit belt? He’d had it last night, he knew he had.

“It’ll be here somewhere.” Sam said. After a frantic search which left the apartment almost upside down, Clint located it down the back of the sofa.

“What was it doing there?” Steve frowned.

“Stark was wearing it as a headdress last night.” Thor supplied “You were wearing a tie, Birdman was wearing a pair of Little Stark’s tights and Barton was using a tie from a robe. You were, I believe Stark said the term was rocking out to some form of music. Do you not remember?”

“No.” Steve mumbled, sliding it on and clipping it round his waist. He walked to the long mirror in the hall and looked at his reflection. Being dressed in this jerked back a lot of memories of his time with the Howlies, Bucky and Peggy…

“Just go talk to her.” Bucky said, leaning against the bar as Steve’s eyes roved up and down Peggy as she stood at the bar in the pub in London talking to Howard Stark.

“I talk to her all the time.” Steve looked at his friend.

“God you’re a dumbass.” Bucky shook his head “I don’t mean just talk I mean, you know...talk, ask her out.”

Peggy looked up, caught his eye and he found himself blushing before turning back to his drink. It really wasn’t appropriate, maybe if it was a different time...

“Captain America and still a pussy when it comes to women.” Bucky snorted, clocking the look on his friend’s face “Glad to see not everything about you has changed.”

Everything had changed now though. And it was funny how things had worked out in the end. But as he knew, and had told Katie, he wouldn’t change a damned second.

“Captain Rogers…” Friday spoke. “Your cars are arriving.”

He took a deep breath and smiled at Sam who walked towards him, clapping him on the shoulder. “You alright?”

Steve nodded, suddenly his stomach was doing flips and this was nothing to do with the alcohol. “Let’s go.”

****

"The cars are here…” Pepper said, walking into the room with the box that contained the flowers. She handed Katie her bouquet, a simple bunch of Cala Lilies tied with pale blue, gold and red ribbons. She set about pinning one of the button holes to Tony’s lapel before she smoothed his shirt down and pecked him on the cheek.

“Ok…” she stood back. “Nat, Wanda, Laura and me are gonna go ahead now… “ she said, “You follow on in about 15 or so, give us enough time to hand these out and sort the boys into the right places…”

Katie smiled at her and she looked at the woman she had long since come to regard as a younger sister. “You really do look stunning!”

“Thanks Pep.” She kissed Tony again before she bustled the other three women out.

"You know," Tony said gently when the door closed behind them, "I always thought when you were a kid that you’d look ridiculous in a wedding dress….but, well, I was wrong, yeah it happens occasionally.” his face softened as he looked at his sister “You turned into a beautiful woman. Mom and dad would be proud, just as I am."

“They’d be proud of you too…” Katie said, the tears springing into her eyes “You know that right?”

"Yeah, yeah, anyway…" He said pulling back and sniffing slightly, before he ran his fingers underneath his eyes. "I have something for you," he said reaching into his suit jacket and withdrawing a slim box.

Katie took it from him, her hands shaking slightly as she opened it. Inside was a stunning white gold necklace. It sported 5 teardrop shaped loops, each set with diamonds, the middle of the loops holding sapphires.

“It was mom’s” Tony said, as she ran her fingers over the stones “I’ve been saving it for you and figured that this…” his voice cracked “Was the perfect opportunity to give it to you.” “Tony…” she said, the tears forming in her eyes again “It’s stunning.”

He took the box from his sister and gently removed the necklace and she turned round so he could fasten it round her neck.

“So that’s your something blue…” he said as she turned round, and let out a watery laugh.

“My garter’s blue…” “Don’t wanna know…” he snorted.

Katie giggled and gently wiped at her eyes “if you’ve ruined my make-up…” she headed to the full length mirror in the hallway and leaned forward.

“I think you’re good…” he smiled at her in the mirror.

“Fake eyelashes, no mascara, no smudges…”she said, dabbing at her eyes before satisfying herself that all the make-up artist’s work was still intact.

“So, we got time for one last drink before you become a Rogers?” he asked, walking over to the liquor cabinet and reaching for 2 crystal tumblers.

“You know its’ only in name…” she said as he poured a few fingers worth of scotch into each glass.

“Still gonna be odd calling you by it.” he handed her one and she smiled. “But either way…you’ll always be my little Kiddo, you know that?”

His voice cracked slightly and she looked at him, the tears once more sprang into her eyes.

“Yeah…” she said, chinking her glass against his “I do Tone…” *****

Steve strode across from the car, Sam following and the pair of them began to greet the guests. Steve was starting to feel nervous now, despite what he had told Sam before. He wasn’t nervous about marrying his girl, but the butterflies in his stomach were definitely fluttering. He shook hands with Evans and Dawson, both of them giving him friendly slaps on the back, welcomed a load of other people he’d seen in Katie’s office before, but his mind wasn’t there. He was mulling over his declaration, and his eyes which were hidden behind his aviators constantly roved the area in front of the church.

And then Sam slapped him on his shoulder.

“What?” Steve asked, turning to face him. 

“Bridesmaids are here Cap.” he smiled, and Steve turned to see the sleek, black Jaguar pull up. The driver got out and opened the back door to allow Natasha to climb out first, then Pepper followed, Wanda and Laura Barton getting out of the other side. Laura beelined for Clint who dropped a kiss to her cheek whilst Pepper, Nat and Wanda made their way over.

“You look great.” Steve smiled as he dropped a kiss to Pepper’s cheek, then Natasha’s then Wanda. “How’s Katie?”

“Nervous as hell.” Nat drawled, smoothing down her skirt before she looked up at Steve grinning. “Nice touch on the flowers and the earrings by the way, you almost set her off.”

 “But she’s ok?”

“If you’re asking whether she’s having second thoughts, not a chance.” Pepper touched his arm. Steve took a deep breath and then turned to the Priest who had joined them.

“She’s about 10 minutes or so behind.” Pepper smiled, “So I suggest you lot get to where you should be.”

“Right, yeah...” Steve took a deep breath, “Ok...”

He turned to head into the church and Sam looked at Natasha. “On a scale of 1 to 10 how dead is she gonna knock him?”

“11.” Nat grinned.

Sam let out a laugh before he yelled to the other groomsmen, and began his duty organising people into the church to the right seats.

**** Katie had a tight hold of Tony’s hand all the drive into Brooklyn. They made easy talk, the pair of them laughing in the back of the car but as they rounded the corner to the street where the church was Katie suddenly fell silent.

“You ok?” Tony looked at her. Katie nodded. 

“A bit nervous. Not about marrying Steve but...” she trailed off “It feels strange, being happy...after everything that we’ve been through.”

“You deserve it.” Tony pressed a kiss to her temple “Now push that thought out of your mind ok? Today is about you...and Steve” he said as an afterthought.

Katie laughed as the car pulled to a stop and the driver hopped out. Tony got out of his side and rounded the car to offer Katie his arm. She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow, her bouquet clutched in the other and together they made their way up to the entrance where Pepper and Natasha were waiting. The photographer got a few snaps before he nodded and said he would see them inside, before he headed in. 

The Priest smiled and ran through the usual questions which Katie answered and he smiled, clapping his hands together.

“Ok, well, let’s get you married.” he grinned, heading back inside, leaving them stood in the vestibule area. 

Katie took a deep breath and Natasha and Pepper took their places.

"You ready?" Tony questioned, placing his hand over Katie’s as the opening chords to Eva Cassidy’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” started up.

"I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life." she said squeezing his arm when her knees threatened to wobble as the doors opened.

All heads turned in their direction as Pepper and Natasha made their way down the aisle and Katie’s legs suddenly felt like jello.

"Don't let me fall." she whispered as she gripped her big brother’s arm even tighter. 

Tony smiled and turned his head enough to press an affectionate kiss to the side of her head, "Never." He whispered back with a smile.

As they made their way down the aisle, Katie wanted to take a look around the full church but she couldn’t. She couldn’t take her eyes off her soldier at the front. It wasn't just the fact that he looked especially handsome in his 40s dress uniform that made Katie’s knees tremble, neither was it his, as usual, clear shaven face or his perfectly styled hair. It was his eyes, and the smile on his face that lit up the moment he saw her...

Holy shit.” Steve managed to mumble, his mouth dropping open, and Sam clapped him between the shoulder blades.

“You’re a lucky man.” he said, and Steve couldn’t bring himself to reply. Instead he stood, gawping like an idiot as she glided towards him. She looked incredible, almost like she was glowing. Her dress was elegant, yet almost princess like. Her hair was twisted up off her face and she wore the biggest smile on her face he’d ever seen. He watched as she clutched onto Tony’s arm, her brother giving her hand another squeeze and the two turned to face each other, sharing a moment, before she looked back at Steve and their eyes locked. Steve took a deep shuddering breath and smiled at her, the smile not leaving his face all the time she made her way towards him. 

After what felt like an age, his nearly wife reached his side and stood in front of him.

“Hi.” she managed to whisper, and he shook his head, blinking back his tears as he let out a deep breath.

“You look astonishingly beautiful…” his voice trembled as  his eyes bored into hers and she felt herself flush, the grin still plastered to her face.

“Why thanks…” Tony said, and the pair of them looked at him, Steve letting out a simple snort as Katie shook her head, a small laugh escaping her mouth as she handed her bouquet over to Natasha.

"Dearly beloved," the Priest opened “We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Steve and Katie…” he continued with the usual greetings and then it was time to get down to business.

"Who here gives this bride away?" he questioned.

"Oh, right, that would be err, me." Tony said, stepping forward and gently turning her left hand into Steve’s right. The two men shared a meaningful look that could only be described as pure respect before Tony stepped back, taking his seat next to Pepper, blinking away his tears as she gripped his hands.

“You have prepared your own declarations before the vows?” They nodded.

“Ladies first.” he smiled at Katie and she took a deep breath, turning to face Steve clearing her throat.

"You know, if someone had told me that the man I met for the first time in that small boxing gym down town would be the man I would fall in love with and one day marry I would have told them they were being ridiculous.” she smiled and Steve squeezed her hands “Stevie, I've watched you grow and thrive in a world that you thought you didn't belong in but you never let it break you. You have no idea how strong you are and how strong you make me…” she hadn’t realised she’d started crying until he released one of her hands to wipe her cheek, his own eyes shining as he felt like his heart was going to burst through his chest "When I think back on how much we’ve been through over the past few years, it never fails to amaze me how you carried not just me through it but everyone around you too. You’re the most honourable, beautiful man I know, and that’s nothing to do with any serum, it’s who you are. You're my best friend. My lover. My everything. And I'll always love you Steven Grant Rogers...”

"Wow," the minister said clearing his throat, "Captain? Think you could top that?"

"I'll try my best." He choked out making laughter ripple through the crowd along with a few sniffles, before he took a deep breath. "Katie, when I went into the ice, I thought I knew what love was, I thought that I was in love before and that I wouldn't ever feel like that again. And then you walked into my life and not only did I get to know you, I fell head over heels in love with you and you made me understand that a first love and a true love are two Stark-ly different things.”

Katie smiled, and there were a few titters at the pun he had used. He took another shaky breath and continued. “Every second I spend with you is unlike anything I've ever felt before. Everything I’ve been through I’d do it a thousand times over if it meant I'd find my way back to you. You're my world, my home, and for that I will always, always love and cherish you."

"Alright everyone wipe your eyes," The priest spoke to the room as Katie reached up to wipe a tear away from Steve’s eye this time, blinking back her own. A few chuckles rang round the church before he addressed her and Steve again.

“Ready for the serious business?”

They both nodded. And one by one they made their vows, promises to love, honour, cherish and forsake all others for richer, for poorer and in sickness and in health being uttered as their eyes intently bored into each other, driving the words home into each of their souls. The words weren’t lost on either of them, they’d been through all of it and so much more already.

“Do you have the rings?” The minister asked. Sam stepped forward and gave Katie Steve’s.

Katie did as she was told, placed the ring at the end of Steve’s finger and repeated the vows they had chosen.

"I give you this ring as a token of my love for you. I give it with my loving heart, with my willing body and with my eternal soul”  When concluded she slid the platinum band, which held 3 simple diamonds at the front in vertical line onto Steve's previously bare ring finger. He took a deep breath then exhaled.

Then it was his turn, he rolled the ring in his fingers before looking up and locking gazes with Katie as he repeated after the minister, finally sliding her diamond studded band over her knuckle, his thumb sliding over the top of it. She looked at it for a second, before looking back at him, smiling.

"By the power vested in me by the Church and the State of New York… in the presence of God…I mean Gods," he politely corrected himself, looking at Thor and the bride and groom laughed along with the rest of the Church as Thor raised a hand, grinning. ", I know pronounce you Husband and Wife. Captain," he patted Steve on the shoulder, "You may now kiss your bride."

Oh, he’d wanted to do that the minute she had walked into the Church! With a smile he closed the small distance between them and took her face in both his hands, as hers slid up to his chest and he pressed a soft, sweet and perfect kiss to her lips.

There was loud cheering and clapping as they pulled back and Katie had just enough time to register the cheeky wink he flashed her before his hands pulled her back to him and this time he really kissed her, in a way that was totally not appropriate for a church but neither of them cared as his tongue slid along hers. Through the blood rushing in their ears they could just make out the sound of more cheering and a couple of wolf whistles. They broke apart and for a long moment just smiled stupidly at one another until Steve reluctantly released her so he could take her hand and turn to face their guests.

“Ladies, gentlemen… please be upstanding for your bride and groom!” The minister spoke “The new Mr and Mrs Rogers!”

Their exit song “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” by Stevie Wonder struck up and for the first time Katie got to glance at everyone in the room. She smiled at so many people, when a squeeze to her hand from Steve brought her back and he beamed at her.

“Shall we?” he asked.

“Lead the way!” she grinned.

He pressed another soft kiss to her lips before they set off down the aisle. As they reached the end he bent to pick up something, and Katie noticed his shield was by the doors.

“Seriously?” she looked at him, arching an eyebrow.

“Trust me doll…” he muttered “because I don’t trust that lot one bit…”

The photographer got a few shots of everyone and then people started to climb into cars and head to the compound, all except the Avengers plus partners who had made an arch for the bride and groom to walk under. Steve grinned and turned to Katie, the two sharing another kiss before he nodded at her and they made their way down the steps onto the path. As soon as they did, Katie realised what Steve had been talking about as suddenly a barrage of rice rained down on them as the group yelled and cheered. As she shrieked with laughter, Steve pulled her to him, shield raised over his head, ducking slightly as they made their way to the waiting car. The chauffeur opened the door to the Jaguar SUV and Steve helped Katie in.

“I love you Mrs Rogers…” he grinned as they settled in the back of the car.

“I love you too!” Katie beamed “And thank you for the flowers and the earrings. You’re a romantic idiot you know that?”

“I’m your romantic idiot…” he leaned in, his nose rubbing against hers.

“Always.” she muttered as her lips met his.

*****.

As the group filed out of the church, no one noticed the man staying close to the shadows across the road. But then they wouldn’t, as it's a good hiding place, he knew this neighbourhood like the back of his hand after all, and he should do too given the amount of times he and that scrawny little blonde haired punk used to tread the sidewalks getting up to mischief. Full of dirt and leaves from scaling trees they would head back to Steve’s house for his Ma to patch them up, normally getting a clout upside the head (fondly, he recalls, never meant to hurt) strong, Irish brogue from such a slight woman "You two young hooleys are going to be the death of me, so you are!" whilst wiping their various bruises and feeding them large pieces of whatever she's managed to bake from that week’s meagre supplies. Now that small, sickly kid was a strapping 6ft plus mass of muscle, his outward appearance now reflected the brave Captain he had always been, stood in his old army dress uniform, his stunning wife a vision in ivory, and he was pleased to see, looking a lot healthier than she had when he had carried her out of that outpost in Canada. He watched as Steve raised his shield above his bride's head to shelter her as their group of friends pelt them with rice, planting a kiss to her lips as various cheers and whoops hit his ears, and then they hurried to the waiting car. As it pulled away the last he saw of Steve was him leaning across the to place a kiss on his girl's, no, his wife's lips who's pretty face looked like it might split in half from her smiling so much. "Good for you, punk." He muttered and smiling to himself, he pulled his cap further down over his face and tucked his hands into his pockets. Yes, he had taken a huge risk coming here but he couldn't not see his Childhood best friend on his wedding day... even if his best friend hadn't seen him. 

With more of a spring in his step than he remembers having since before the war, he headed back to where he has hidden the stolen motorcycle ready to trek back north where he could catch a flight to Europe and slink back into the shadows once more.

****

The sunny August afternoon passed in a daze of champagne, photos and food.  The head table was situated in the middle of the marquee, occupied by Katie, Steve, Sam, Pepper, Tony and Natasha. The rest of the guests were seated at circular tables dotted around, Katie and Pepper having carefully plotted places. Of course the Avengers had their own table, which was rowdy, Thor’s loud voice booming across the Tent as he sat with Jane, who was chatting away to Linda Barton. Vision was perched next to Wanda, conspicuous as always, whilst Banner was talking to Clint. 

“You ok?” Steve asked, his right hand dropping to Kate’s knee under the table and she turned to him smiling.

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. You?”

“Never been happier Doll.” he smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips.

When the desert had been eaten, glasses were charged and it was time for the speeches. 

It was Tony’s turn first and as he stood up, both hands raised in his usual flamboyant manner, Katie let out a soft groan as she knew she was about to get a ribbing. He started off fairly mildly, toasting the bridesmaids cheekily quipping he was going to take one home. 

“Which one?” quipped Clint, earning him a slap round the head from Laura whilst the tent laughed. 

Tony paused before he dropped a hand to Pepper’s shoulder where she sat to his right and grinned “Well there’s a fifty-fifty chance it’ll be the one I’m in a relationship with. And on that note, I’d like to raise a toast to the beautiful bridesmaids...”

The tent laughed, and all raised their glasses, before a wicked glint flashed in Tony’s eyes and he turned to his left, looking at Katie where she sat at the head of the table.

“Kiddo…” he smirked “I don’t know where to start.”

“Then don’t” she said, earning more laughs. “Oh I’m gonna…” he winked “For the last 31 years you’ve been a monumental pain in my ass. From fighting monsters under your bed with the vaccum cleaner to your Vegan Goth phase and that damned Turkey that you insisted we keep…but there isn’t a day that I’d change any of it. Watching you flourish into the beautiful, brave, kind young woman sat in front of me has, and always will be, my greatest achievement. Everything that life has put in front of you, you’ve taken and more. And I’ll always be proud of you.”

He took a deep breath as Steve’s hand curled round Katie’s under the table.

“And as for the groom, well, there’s not much to say about Spangles really. When I first met him, thought he was an ass hole. Now I know him, think he’s slightly less of an asshole.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “Thanks Tony.” he quipped as the he guests laughed. But as his brother-in-law locked eyes with him, the two of them smiled.

“How I found out about you two was less than desirable…” he said and they both let out a groan “For those of you that don’t know I walked in on them, in the kitchen, and interrupted something…” more laughs as Katie and Steve groaned “And I won’t lie, I wasn’t overly enamoured about the idea but you fast proved me wrong and, well, here we are. I’m glad she has someone like you to look after her, care for her and cherish her but just so you know…” he raised his two fingers to his eyes and then moved them towards Steve, the same I’m watching you gesture as he had given him on his doorstep over 2 years ago. Steve snorted into his glass which was once more full of Asgardian ale and Katie simply shook her head.

“In all seriousness, Cap and I had a nice long talk last night about what it means to be a family. To love and be loved. To feel like you do and will forever belong with a certain person. And he told me that’s what he felt about Katie. That he does and will forever belong with her.”  Tony turned to look at them both “And I know I speak for everyone here when I say, we are so lucky – and happy – that you’re part of this weird-ass family. I feel lucky to be part of this family. Even with Rhodey here."

Rhodey flipped him off from where he sat across the Marquee and the guests laughed once more

“So if you’ll please all raise your glasses...” Tony said, as everyone stood round the marquee, glasses raised “Steve and Katie, Cap and Kiddo, and friends, family, be they with us or not.”

The murmurs of the echoed toast around the tent died down being replaced by cheers as Tony took a short bow, before he rounded the table and Katie stood up to hug him kissing his cheek. 

“Love you.” she grinned, and Tony beamed back at her before he returned to his seat. 

At that point Steve stood up to a load of cheers and he held his hand up.

“Yeah, not sure how I can follow that.” he smiled, “Thanks for those kind words Tony.” he cleared his throat “You know, looking around the place, seeing everyone here to help us celebrate has brought it home to me how lucky I actually am. When I came out of the ice, I thought I’d lost everything, my entire life, everyone I knew. But I fast came to realise that whilst that may have been true once what I’ve gained since is irreplaceable.” he glanced down at Katie “When Katie walked into that gym which was only a few blocks away from where we got married today, we shared a 15 minute conversation. By the end of those 15 minutes I’d already realised how sassy, sarcastic and loyal she was, and dare I say it, damned gorgeous too”

Katie shook her head as titters rose around the tent.

“But then I got to know her, she became my best friend, still is, and frankly now I think she’s the most amazing human being on the planet. I could continue to wax lyrical about you Doll, but I won’t. I said everything I had to say to you in the church, but there is one thing I wanted to add. You said that I make you strong, but it’s really you who does that to me. I’m only strong because you’re by my side. You make me want to be a better person and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of waking up in the morning by your side, simply being able to call you mine.” he took a deep breath, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall as he looked down at the table, then back to her. “From that first date I knew we had something special and everything we’ve been through in the past 2 and a bit years, we’ve made it through because we’ve been together. So if I could ask you all to raise your glasses in the direction of my gorgeous, amazing wife…man I’ll never get tired of saying that…” he grinned and Katie laughed, wiping her eyes “Mrs Rogers…”

He sat down and Katie leaned over to give him a soft kiss. “I love you” she smiled, her hand gently tracing down his cheek.

“Love you too.” he said, kissing her deeply to more cheers and Steve grinned against her mouth, his cheeks flushing slightly as he pressed his forehead to hers.

And then Sam got up.

“Yeah, saved the best till last I know.” Sam said as everyone giggled “I’ll keep mine short and sweet as we all know there’s a party to get started. I first met Cap when he was running. I say running, well, more like tearing up the ground. Kept lapping me like a crazy mother, nearly killed me trying to keep up.” he grinned and Katie and Steve both laughed “I haven’t known him for very long all things considered, so being asked to be best man was a privilege, so thank you brother. It means a lot.” he nodded to Steve who raised his beer in his direction. “Now, being friends with Captain America is probably the same as what being friends with Steve Rogers is like, from what I can gather. He’s a great guy, with a fully functioning moral compass...only there’s the added complication that you’ll have a building dropped on your head, get shot at and generally be whipped into a whole heap of trouble...and that was only within the first 3 we’d met.” Sam quipped as the tend laughed and Steve shook his head. “But the thing is, when Captain America knocks on your door and needs your help, you gotta follow, even if it means your life expectancy is probably gonna halve.  Mind you, my chances of getting laid have more than doubled so I think they cancel one another out” At that Steve groaned and dropped his head into his hands as the tent erupted into laughter. “But in all my life I’ve never met two people more suited for each other. You’re like jelly and doughnuts, mac and cheese, Simon and Garfunkel, can’t have one without the other” he smirked “So, without further ado, charge your glasses one final time…to the new Mr and Mrs Rogers….now, let’s get this party started!”

****

A few hours later as the sun was dipping behind the trees and several bottles of champagne, Asgardian beer and a fair few measures of whiskey had been drunk, Tony’s voice rang out over the speakers.

"Now ladies and Gents, and Thor…"

Katie and Steve, who were stood talking to Clint and Laura at the bar, both looked over to see him holding a microphone as he stood next to the DJ, smiling, "It’s my great honour to announce it is time for the first dance. Kiddo, Cap, the floor is yours…”

Steve held his hand out to Katie and she took it, and he led her into the middle of the lit up dance floor, gently pulling her into his arms.

I’ve been searching all my life I used to be so color blind You opened up my eyes Do you wanna share your dreams See a different side of me You're everything I need He pulled her closer, his hand curling round the small of her back, his other tightly clasped around hers as they gently swayed to the music, foreheads pressed together, smiles stuck firmly to their faces.

I like it when you think out loud Things you say when you know There is no one else around I can dig my own graves now But will you smile every time I try to crawl my way out

His left hand dropped from the small of her back and he took a step away, spinning her out into a twirl as the chorus struck up, drawing cheers from the circle of people around the dance floor.

There is no one like you I live in a world of black and white And you are the only one in color There is no one like you Into mystery I slide I want you to keep it all uncovered You are the only one in color

Katie smiled as he pulled her back to him, his face beaming and as was tradition they were joined on the floor by a few other couples, Tony and Pepper, Clint and Laura, Thor and Jane amongst them. Wanda and Natasha were dancing together too, in a joking, friendly way, which made Katie’s smile grow even larger.

You know how to set that mood You can light up any room Just by the way you move The only one who understands What I've given you you've given back Come on and take my hand

The music continued and as the chorus struck up again he span her out once more, making her laugh and this time he pulled her back in so her back pressed against his chest. Wrapping both arms tightly around her middle he pressed a soft kiss to her neck. Katie laughed, her hands coming to rest over his own, thumb stroking the new addition to his ring finger.

You turned an old world upside down A wave of calm when I was so tightly wound And so full of doubt I'll never tell you that two's a crowd I know I can't get through without Ever needing you around

Steve knew everyone was watching, probably taking pictures or video along with the official photographer, but he didn’t care. Extending his arm above her head, he took hers with him and gently spun her to face him. His right hand slid up to cup her face and as he leaned close to capture her lips. Katie’s hand slid up to tangle in the back of his hair before she pulled away slowly and he lets out a soft moan as his forehead dropped to hers.

"Mrs Rogers.." he whispered in her ear.

“Yeah?” “Nothing, I just wanted to say it.”

*******

"Garter off. No hands Rogers!” Nat yelled over the music as Katie sat in a chair on the dance floor “That's the rules."

“Well we all know I’m a stickler for rules.” he grinned, discarding his jacket and tie to a few whoops and a loud whistle from his bride, he tossed them over a chair as the men in the party gathered around, the women standing a bit behind, Pepper explaining what was going onto Wanda.

Steve strolled casually past them, hands in his pockets, his eyes locked on Katie’s as she arched an eyebrow in an almost challenging manner. This was the point where he would normally flush red but he hadn’t got a shred of embarrassment about his nature thanks to the Asgardian alcohol which once more coursed through his veins. He gave her a grin as he dropped to his knees and then, with a devious wink, dove under her skirt. Katie giggled and covered her face with her hands whilst the outline of Steve's broad shoulders could just be made out moving up her legs. But only she could feel his breath on her thighs. He grinned and pressed a soft but hot kiss to the very top of her thigh and it took everything in her not to jump or show any outward indication of his actions, but she did bite her lip when his teeth dragged down her thigh until he caught the lace of the blue garter that he himself had given to her the day before, then dragged it down her leg.

There were more whistles and cheers when he emerged from beneath her skirt with the garter in his mouth before he took it in his hands, stood up and fired it towards the men. Sam was the catcher, hastily dropping it from one hand to the other until he finally caught it, and looked around, winking at Natasha.

“What about it Red?” he grinned at her “Fancy a bit of Sammy-lovin’?”

“In your dreams birdbrain” she drawled, as everyone cackled.

**** All too soon their day came to an end, but Steve had one final surprise for Katie. She had been fully expecting to go back to their room at the compound but Steve simply shook his head and led her out of the Marquee and over to a waiting car which was parked on the expansive gravel driveway.

“We are not spending our wedding night at home Kitten.” he said simply when she asked where they were going.

Between the alcohol and being drunk on happiness, they were tripping over each other by the time they made it to the bridal suite at The Mark having been greeted  by a red carpet and applause of the staff upon arrival. Steve opened the door into the huge room, and the pair of them stumbled forward. Laughing, Steve curled an arm round her.

“Hang on… ” he said, before he bent down and scooped her up, carrying her into the room and she giggled as he stepped forward, kicking the door shut behind them before dropping her to her feet. She spun round and grabbed a fist full of shirt, just below his open collar button, bringing him down to kiss her, hard as they backed across the suite into the bedroom where Steve spun her round and carefully, delicately popped the buttons down her back. He leaned in and pressed soft kisses to the crook of her neck, nuzzling into her hair, as she reached up to remove the various clips, freeing her brunette tresses.

“God you’re beautiful.” he said, as the dress fell away, leaving her in nothing but a pair of white, lace French knickers. She spun to face him, eyes shining as she started to undo his shirt.

"You're not so bad yourself," she said with a smirk as her hands gently undid the buttons on his shirt, her eyes never leaving his.

And then it was a race to get out of their remaining clothes before they both collapsed on the bed. Steve took his time, kissing down his wife’s body, running his fingers down her ribs before his hands gently parted her legs. His nose skimmed below her bellybutton before he moved downwards, nipping at her inner thigh before he set his mouth to her.

Katie groaned and all but melted into the bed letting him have and play with her all he wanted. Her first orgasm hit her hard in an ridiculously short time and leaving her breathless he kissed all the way back up her body before he settled his hips against hers, he was rock hard and aching for her, and she shivered as he pressed up against where she needed him most.

He took her left hand in his, his thumb skating over her rings and placed a soft kiss over them before interlocking their fingers and pressing her hand down on the pillow next to her head.

"I love you so much Mrs Rogers," he mumbled leaning down and running his nose alongside hers.

"I love you too Captain Rogers." she responded holding eye contact with him as he slowly slid inside, letting out a moan as she lay back and he kissed her again, deeply, passionately as he slowly started to move. Katie rolled her hips up taking him deeper, moans flowing freely between the pair as he slowly built up his rhythm, releasing her hand so that he could grasp onto her hips. Katie’s arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him in close and she buried her fingers into his hair.

"Faster," she moaned, wrenching her mouth from his so she could breath and he didn't hesitate to oblige. After a few more thrusts he slid his hand under her lower back and lifted her slightly, face buried in her neck, nipping, making her gasp and shudder as he hit her spot. He met it with every thrust of his hips until she was moaning and writhing and muttering nonsense.

Whether it was the passion of the day or the fact that it was just different because they were now married, for Steve it felt the most intense love they had ever made. It was the perfect way to finish off an amazing day and when they both fell apart completely immersed in one another, cries of names and curses tumbling from lips, Katie happily welcomed his weight on top of her as he caught his breath whilst she peppered soft kisses against his sweaty forehead before their noses gently rubbed against one another, their thing. Both of them remained trembling in the afterglow and it took a while but finally Steve gathered enough strength to roll himself to the side where Katie immediately curled up into his chest.

“Was it everything you hoped for?” he asked, and she hummed blissfully as he carded his fingers through her hair

"And more.” she whispered softly “.And the best bit?” “What?” She moved so she could look up at him, her face soft as she gave him the most intimate and incredible smile he had ever seen on her face as she answered “We have the rest of our lives ahead.”

Tags

@the-omni-princess

@momobaby227

@geekofmanythings16​

@angelofhell-666

@thewackywriter

[stanbillyhargrove]

Ghosts Chp 4

Billy x Katrina

A/N: this is a multi chapter series that will contain smut, angst, fluff, substance abuse

Katrina's POV

I came down from my high the morning after going out with Steve and Billy and spent the next few days hiding in my apartment. I called in sick to work and stayed huddled in my bed trying to sleep.

Seeing Elle was hard, I don't know why I kept hallucinating her since it upset me so much but she was always around, keeping the wound of losing her open and raw. Even if I couldn't see her I could tell she was close by the smell of her citrusy perfume.

I figured out that the only way to keep her away was to be high, so when it got too much I went searching for someone willing to share their drugs with me. Nothing hard but something that was just enough to make me happy again and keep her out of my mind. Last week, I found someone to sell me speed and I'd ridden the high all week, not sleeping and not coming down until I ran out. And now, she was here again, in my bed and chastising me.

"Why don't you want to see me, Katie? Don't you love me?"

Elle was wearing a dark red flannel open over ripped jean shorts, the white tank top underneath did nothing to hide the bruise on her chest.

I lifted my head from my pillows to look at her and mumbled, "how come you always look different?"

"Hmm?"

I waved my hand at her, "you're always different, why?"

"Well I didn't always look the exact same now did I?"

"Hmm..guess not," I murmured, burying my head again.

There was a moment of silence before I felt her hand running over my back, flooding my head with her thoughts. Orange leaves falling and cracking under feet, the taste of bubblegum ice cream-her favorite-and one of her favorite songs being quietly hummed under her breath. But everything held that same muted note, a little less vibrant than in real life.

"Katrina?"

I hummed, not moving.

"You didn't answer me. Do you not love me?"

I sighed, turning my head to peer at her again, "of course I do, Ellie...but..you're gone, dead...you're never coming back."

"So you want to forget me?"

I reached out, laced my fingers with her cold ones, "I can't forget you...but I can't pretend you're alive either and every time you're here it's like I lose a little piece of me all over again."

She took a second, like she was thinking about what I said, before someone else appeared. A young girl, dressed all in black with long open cuts down her arms.

"Someone's coming," she whispered.

I scrambled to sit up, "what, who the fu-"

There was a loud knock on my apartment door and I stared in the direction stupidly for a minute until the knocking happened again.

Who the hell is this girl? I thought as I crawled out of bed to answer the door. I opened it slowly and saw Billy standing there.

"Hey..?"

"Hey, neighbor, just checking on you. Haven't heard from you since the club, I tried texting you."

I gave him a thin smile, "I wasn't feeling good."

He pushed past me and I realized he was carrying take out bags, "yeah, that happens when you come down."

"What? How did you know?"

He scoffed as he set the bags on the kitchen counter, "please. I'm not stupid."

I shut my mouth with a scowl and watched him pull out containers of Panda Express and set them down on the counter.

"I also know you haven't left your apartment for the past three days and I'm sure you haven't eaten anything either," he explained as he pulled out the last containers.

I walked around him to pull chopsticks and forks out of a drawer and teased, "are you stalking me?"

Billy chuckled, "just looking out for you. It's either me or Steve and trust me, he's the worst to have around when you're hungover or coming down."

"Why?"

"He can be a little much at times, he's a nurse. Which is great if you accidentally cut your hand open cooking," he smiled, holding up his hand so I could see the scar running across it, "but shit if you just need sleep, food and water. Talks too much."

I giggled, "well...thanks."

"I just got mine and Steve's regular order," he explained then gave me a stern look, "somebody didn't answer their phone so you better like it."

I felt my cheeks heat up as he unboxed containers of orange chicken, broccoli and beef, chow mein, egg rolls and potstickers. My stomach growled loudly at the smell, making both of us laugh.

"See? I knew you hadn't eaten."

--

Both of us were leaned back on my couch watching Netflix after we had stuffed ourselves with food. Billy hummed a little as he looked at me.

"What? Something on my face?"

He smiled and shook his head, "no, just thinking."

I cocked an eyebrow at him, "you gunna share?"

"Just trying to figure you out."

I pulled my legs up and shifted so I was facing him, "what do you want to know."

"Everything. I don't know anything about you."

I smiled, "isn't the mystery fun?"

He laughed a little, "shut up. Where are you from?"

"Illinois. You?"

"Born in California, moved to Indiana when I was young. What do you do for work?"

"I was a tattoo artist before I moved, now I work at a bar. What about you?"

"Child psychologist."

"Wow, that's intense. And you live here? In this shithole apartment building?"

"Gotta pay off my loans somehow," he joked, "I don't mind it too much, meet some pretty interesting people."

"Why'd you want to do that? Isn't that kind of depressing?" I asked, stretching out my hand to touch his wrist lightly.

I heard yelling again, smelled the tang of alcohol soaked breath, felt my breath hitch with fear.

"I wanted to help people. It can get kinda depressing sometimes though. Why'd you want to be a tattoo artist?"

"I love art and I always wanted to be covered in tattoos so it was the right fit."

Billy nodded, "why'd you end up at a bar then?"

"I'm just not in the best place right now, needed to do something else until I get myself back together."

He hummed, "sounds like you could use a shrink."

I scoffed, "you do not want to know what's going on up here," I tapped the side of my head, "it would scare you off."

"You'd be surprised what it takes to scare me."

-- July

"Jesus christ, it's fucking warm," Billy complained as he stepped into my apartment.

We'd gotten closer in the past months, enough that he felt comfortable letting himself in without knocking first. I was sitting in front of the tiny window A/C unit, a blue plastic cup of homemade sweet tea beside me and dressed in a black bralette and shorts. We were in the middle of a heat wave that had everybody complaining. Elle was loving it, or so she said, I don't know if my hallucinations had any concept of temperature. She had been sitting beside me, feet kicked up into the window to soak up the sun when Billy came in.

"What a baby," she teased.

I smirked and looked up at him, "aren't you from California? You should be used to this."

"Yeah," he huffed, sitting next to me to let the A/C blow on his face, "but if it was this hot I was surfing. We also had better A/C and I was a kid."

"So you're getting whiny in your old age?"

He turned to glare at me and playfully bumped my shoulder, "fuck off. Steve and I are going out to cool off, you coming?"

I looked at him in his disheveled dress shirt and pants, he had undone most of the buttons of his shirt, revealing the sweat dripping down his pecs.

"You're going out like that?"

"I'm just gunna put shorts on, figured I'd stop here first in case you needed a couple minutes to get ready."

I grabbed my sweet tea and stood up, "I'm ready."

He led me back to his apartment so he could change, stripping off his dress shirt in the living room to reveal a blue rose on his back. Elle and the new girl I've been seeing, Ally I learned, started making comments beside me.

"Yeah, this heat wave can last forever," Ally joked, winking at me.

I rolled my eyes and sat down on the arm of his couch, taking a sip of my tea while I waited for him. Billy reappeared a couple minutes later wearing a pair of grey shorts and a blue tank top. I smirked when I saw the tattoo on his bicep, a traditional style skull with a cigarette.

"Nice ink."

He twisted his arm to look at it, "yeah, I was drunk when I got that one."

I snorted, "of course. What about the one on your back?"

"Got it for my mom."

"Here you are, hey Katrina," Steve started when he walked into Billy's apartment, "you should get your air conditioner checked, it was freezing in your apartment."

Billy and I looked at him, confused, "we were just in there, it was hot."

He shrugged, "well it's freezing now. It's kind of cold in here too actually."

"Maybe you're getting sick, Steve."

--

The twisted man loomed in the corner of Billy's apartment, his presence sucking the oxygen from the air. I was sticky from the summer heat and fear, it felt like I was melting.

Of course I'd get sleep paralysis now, in Billy's apartment, sandwiched between him and Steve on the floor. We'd decided to come back here after our night out and had all passed out in a heap of pillows and blankets in front of the TV.

In the corner, just out of my sight, was the twisted man, I knew it was him without having to see him. I tried to whimper, to scream, anything, even though I knew it was hopeless. After a moment I could hear a tiny whimper beside me. Steve's here, I can feel his arm under mine, can hear his panic echoing with mine in my head. I urged with every ounce of my being for the man to leave Steve alone so I wouldn't have to relive someone dying because of him. Except, he didn't seem to care about Steve, he just kept limping closer to me without sparing Steve a glance. He eventually shambled up to me, his twisted face inches from my own. A pointed finger dragged down my neck just as his mouth opened with a gurgling scream.

I woke up screaming, echoed by Steve and then Billy mere seconds later.

"What the fuck?" Billy yelled.

I scrambled to my feet, stammering, "I'm sorry..I need, I need to go."

Steve was panting like he'd just run a marathon, his eyes were wild with panic as he watched me leave. Billy tried to call me back, still confused, but I was already out the door.

I was fumbling with my keys, my hands shaking so bad I couldn't fit them into my door when Steve joined me in the hall. I dropped my keys on the floor when I heard the door close. Steve and I bent down at the same time to pick them up, our faces nearly touching.

"What the fuck was that?" He hissed.

"I..I don't..I don't know what you're talking about," I murmured.

Steve grabbed my keys and opened the door, watching me the entire time like I was dangerous. When the door was open he grabbed my arm and held me back from going into my apartment. I felt the echo of fear in his mind, heard the same screeching metal that always accompanied the twisted man. I tried to pull my arm from his grasp but he held tight.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Steve, I don't know what you mean."

"I saw you! In the nightmare and that monster...it touched you!" He let go of me then so he could push my hair back, exposing the bruise I knew I'd have on my neck, "it left a mark! I was there but I couldn't move, what was that?"

"Steve. Nothing happened. It was just a nightmare. Please," I gave him a last glance before hurrying into my apartment and locking the door behind me.

I didn't go back to sleep that night, just curled into myself on the couch and stared at the wall until the sun started to fill my apartment.

@champagnesugamama @charmed-asylum

[mackdaddynate]

fall in deep part 2- nathan mackinnon

A/N: this is pure fluff again, soft nate is all that matters to me ok

WC: 1.5K

You paced around your apartment, trying to figure out what the hell to make for dinner that wasn’t boxed mac and cheese for the third day in a row. You sighed and flopped down on the couch, deciding whether you wanted to order food or just save the cash right as your phone buzzed.

Nate: Wanna get food or something?

Y/N: idk, kinda already have a date with my couch... or something

You sat there grinning, thinking about how great it was that Nate actually liked you. You had always loved teasing him, but now you got to make out with him too, so you pretty much had the perfect setup.

Nate: cmon, we haven’t even been on a real date yet, your hungover ass spending the entire day in my bed doesn’t count :///

Y/N: Fineee, come pick me up in like 15?

And now you were blushing like it was middle school or something, immediately texting Layna about your date.

Layna: omg Y/N, grumpy Nate has such a soft spot for you. Wrap it before you tap it ;)

Y/N: hahah you’re the worst, ok I gotta go get ready!!

After a few minutes of trying to make yourself look a little less tired, there was a knock at your door.

“Hey, you,” Nate flashed you a smile as you leaned in to give him a hug.

“Not to be dramatic, but I kinda missed you.”

“Pshh, you’re always dramatic, but I kinda missed you too,” he said, laughing. “Tacos?”

“You read my mind, MacK.” You were so drawn to him it wasn’t even funny, and you were debating reaching for his hand before he set it on your waist and guided you out of the building.

“Oh, so you do this when I’m not blackout drunk too?” you looked up at him, feeling giggly and warm against the cool spring air.

Nate shrugged, “It’s hard to keep my hands off of you.”

“Then don’t,” you smirked. “Just keep it family-friendly when we’re in public, Nathan.” That earned you an eye-roll, and then you both cracked up.

Dinner was gone as soon as it started. Nate was scarfing down tacos while you told him about the research you’d been helping with and and all of the stupid things you and Layna had done in the past week; you were scarfing down tacos while Nate was being way too humble about the ridiculous season he’d been having.

“I’ll go cheer you on sometime, make you a sign or something. I’m literally going to be such a nervous wreck every time you get hit though.”

“You can wear my jersey, how cute would that be? God damn Y/N, you’re gonna be the best hockey girlfri-” he paused. “Are we doing the girlfriend thing? Like, can I call you that? I know it’s only been one date but...” he trailed off.

“Why not? You’re the only person I can see myself with right now anyways,” you replied.

“Me too.”

Your legs were tangled together with Nate’s under the table because in reality, you couldn’t keep yourself away from him either. You both blushed when your waitress pointed out how you two were just so adorable, but you figured she was kind of right.

Nate picked up the check, even though you protested, telling you that the least he could do for not asking you out sooner was buy you some tacos.

Neither you or Nate were particularly extroverted, but conversation was so easy with him. It felt so much more comfortable than with other guys you’d dated. And you hated that you already felt so clingy towards Nate, but he was acting the same way. Maybe this was what you both got for those three years of suppressed feelings.

“Ugh, so you’re really going to be gone for the entire weekend for hockey? How am I supposed to keep myself entertained?”

He laughed at that, “You’ll probably just drunk snapchat me the whole time. But if you’re up for it tonight, you should come over for a bit. You know, to make up for this weekend.”

“Ok I might end up falling asleep on you, but I can’t turn that offer down.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he countered.

The two of you decided to put on a movie. You intentionally sat down just close enough to Nate to be touching. You were barely through the opening scene when you felt his hand sliding up your thigh.

“Couldn’t even make it five minutes in huh?” you said, while looking up at him.

“Well,” he bit his lip, “maybe if you weren’t sitting there teasing me.”

“Me? Teasing?” you feigned offense.

“Sitting this close to me and trying way too hard to focus on the movie? While looking that good? Definitely teasing, Y/N.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Fine,” you said, closing what little gap there was between you and practically sitting in his lap as you leaned in for a kiss. You started the kiss slowly, wrapping your hands around his neck. Nate followed suit, one hand running through your hair and the other squeezing on your upper thigh.

He deepened the kiss, speeding up a bit. You’d kissed Nate before, but that was in the morning when your head was pounding from the mistakes of the night before. But this time felt different, fiery and a bit hungry. And honestly? You’d be perfectly content to just sit there and make out with him for like, hours, which was weird. Your roommate had told you that one of her hookups had “the lips of an angel,” which was hilarious, but now you were beginning to understand it.

Nate squeezed harder on your thigh, causing you to whimper. You looked him up and down, swollen lips and his dark eyes locked on you. He pulled you back in quickly, moving his hands under your sweatshirt and settling at the clasp of your bra. And as you were thinking about how ridiculously turned on you were, Nate pulled away, leaving you looking at him with puppy dog eyes.

“Uh, sorry, I think we should probably go to my room so Tyson doesn’t walk in on us like this.”

Right. Roommates.

You laughed, following him back to his room, “Bold of you to assume that I’m the type to fuck on the first date. I will gladly crash here though, you’ve got a pretty good mattress.”

Nate gave you a look, but couldn’t keep himself from grinning, “God, you’re such a tool.”

“Yeah, but I’m your tool,” you said, grinning back as Nate laid down, gesturing for you to come join him.

You did just that, rolling over to be closer to him as the two of you alternated between making out and talking about life until your eyes started to feel heavy.

_________

You woke up to laughter from the kitchen. Those boys. You sighed, rolling over and wishing for 10 more minutes of sleep. If it wasn’t for recent events with Nate, you’d probably believe it if he told you that he was dating Tyson. They acted like an old married couple, even more so than you and Layna.

You slipped out of Nate’s big t-shirt you’d worn as pajamas, and back into your leggings and one of his hoodies. The hockey team gave him so many, the least you could do was take a few of them off his hands. At least, that’s the excuse you gave Nate.

“Morning babe,” Nate said as you walked into the kitchen. You gave him a half awake smile and a kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, so you guys are disgusting. Y/N, or should I say new roommate, are you going to start paying me for rent or...” said Tyson, in a way that only he could. Nate was making himself coffee as you sat down on the stool next to Tyson.

“At least let me have some food or something before you start attacking me.”

“Nate makes a mean omelette, but the rule is that I get omelette priority over girls.”

“Nate can cook?” you asked, genuinely surprised since your expectations for college boys were quite low.

“Not at all, he’s only figured out omelettes so far,” Tyson said as the two of you shared a laugh.

“I’m so glad the two of you can bond at my expense,” Nate scowled, coming up behind you to rub your back anyways. You looked up at him and had to use all of the willpower you had not to kiss him.

“You guys are like a fucking Hallmark movie,” Tyson huffed.

“Don’t you have to like, pack or something?” Nate chirped back, going over to tend to his coffee.

“Don’t you?”

You broke into a fit of giggles, Tyson and Nate doing the same. And as you were trying to compose yourself, you noticed Nate, focused on you and softly smiling. The sun had just started to peek through the window, making his eyes sparkle a little bit, and you couldn’t help but smile right back at him.

You could definitely get used to this.

[sugarless--girl]

Day 7: Disaster — fem!Kuroken

Kuroo was a bit of a disaster around Kenma. The dark-haired girl was terrified that someday she’d slip up and it’d all come crashing down that she had the hots for her childhood friend.

Of course she fucks this up by making out with Kenma at a party. God help her poor soul.

Read on AO3

The party was an absolute disaster and everyone knew it. It wasn’t enough that cops were called half-way through the night, oh no—Kenma had to go and make shitty decisions in her inebriated state of mind. Remind her never to go to a frat party again.

When Kenma first woke up that morning, her hangover was painful enough that it left her cursing god and her dumbass past self. Why was she so stupid? After she finally managed to muster up the strength to sit up—trying not to gag a few times—Kenma looked around for her phone. But something else caught her attention—namely the fact that she was completely topless, no bra in sight. She wasn’t wearing pants either but at least she had her underwear. Small victories. She was also in her room, so she at least had enough sense to get back home.

Did Kenma get lucky last night or had she thrown up all over herself? The latter explanation didn’t account for the missing bra though. God, it was cold in this room. She slowly got out of her bed. Her sense of balance was worse than ever and the thought of even bending down to pick a shirt off the ground felt too much. Kenma just rooted around the closet until she found an oversized t-shirt to wear.

She went to the bathroom to get rid of the taste of alcohol in her mouth.  As Kenma grabbed her toothbrush, she took in her appearance in the mirror. Her hair was a total disaster—something she was not looking forward to fixing. She smelt like alcohol and sweat but the thought of stepping into the shower made her head spin. Her eyes traveled to her neck. It had a huge fucking hickey on it.

Who the fuck—?

Kenma pushed the thought out of her head. She’d have a mental breakdown later. She made her way to the kitchen, hoping to find Kuroo. Her longtime friend was standing at the stove with a look of intense concentration. Before Kenma could step closer, the smell hit her and it made her want to throw up right then and there. Luckily, she clearly threw up everything last night as she just gagged. But it did cause Kuroo to turn her way when she heard Kenma hitting the wall.

“K-Kenma! You’re up!!” She said, as she practically jumped out of her skin.

Her friend’s loud voice would’ve been comforting any other time but Kenma only felt, well, pain stabbing her head. “Kuro…..you’re too loud.”

“Ah, yeah sorry.” Kuroo stared at her oddly (probably staring at the hickey) but Kenma wasn’t in the mood to try and read the other girl’s expression.

“Aren’t you hungover?”

“No.” There was Kuroo’s easy going smile. “I actually watch my limit unlike you. Here, drink some water.”

Kenma took the cup and began sipping it. Drinking water was an ordeal itself. Why did she drink so much again?

“Oh, yeah I saw Shrimpy make out with that scary girlfriend of hers. Weren’t you hanging out with her?”

“Yes.” Kenma muttered mutinously, now remembering why she decided to suddenly torture her liver. Kuroo had ditched her to hang with Bokuto so she decided to find Hinata before the party got too hectic. But it hadn’t taken long for Hinata to get distracted by Kageyama, thus leaving Kenma to her own devices. She hated when her friends did this. Drag her to some random party, made her leave her 3DS behind so she could “socialize” and ditch her halfway through. Kuroo wasn’t too bad with leaving Kenma as the black-haired girl usually knew when Kenma was ready to bail but Hinata—despite being well-meaning—tended to get distracted easily.

God, what even happened last night?

“Uh, so you hungry?” Kenma just glared at Kuroo who laughed at her misery.

“You took me back last night, right?”

“Yeah?” Kuroo said, sounding weirdly hesitant

“Do you remember if I made out with anyone?” Kenma wasn’t the type to make out with strangers—not that she judged people who did, but it was definitely out of character for her. Drunk Kenma was more sleepy and cuddly than horny.

Kuroo stood tense at the stove. Kenma blinked as she tried to make sense of Kuroo’s strange behavior. “Was it—one of your exes or something?” That seemed like the only logical conclusion for the odd atmosphere.

“No, I didn’t see who the person was.” Kuroo muttered.

That explained it. Kuroo was doing her over-protective routine again. “Well, I’m gonna go shower.”

Kuroo whipped to look at Kenma. “Eat something first.”

Kenma grimaced. “After my shower.” She could feel Kuroo’s eyes on her and turned to look at the other girl. Kuroo just looked away.

Weird

Last night was a disaster. Kuroo was a disaster.

How the fuck was she going to live with the knowledge that she made out with her best friend? She was a godless sinner that deserved to be burned at the stake. She took advantage of Kenma when the other girl cuddled up to her. Never mind that Kuroo was just as fucked up as Kenma—she still took advantage of her friend’s trusting nature. Kuroo hadn’t gotten drunk in a while now so last night had been bad. A disaster even.

Kuroo had luckily come to her senses and stumbled drunkenly into the bathroom to throw-up the rest of the alcohol to sober up quicker. Never had she been so thankful for her gag reflexes. Of course, sobering up just made her feel worse.

Not to be dramatic or anything but she totally got why people became raging alcoholics. It was way easier to ignore your feelings when you were drunk out of your minds. But you made stupider decisions so maybe it wasn’t worth it.

Kenma knew something was wrong despite being massively hung-over. When she finally recovered she’d probably ask Kuroo what the hell was going on and Kuroo knew there was no way she’d be able to lie to her face like that. She hadn’t ever been able to lie to Kenma. She was just too perceptive. But the other girl knew when to give Kuroo her space so she hoped that Kenma would let it go this time. That was the only reason she got away with not spilling her guts about her raging lesbian crush on the other girl.

She looked down to her frying pan and sighed. It had turned out slightly overcooked during her self-loathing episode—Kenma wouldn’t mind but Kuroo hated making anything less than perfect for her.

Kenma stepped back into the kitchen, toweling her hair dry. She felt significantly more like a human being after properly cleaning up. Her hair—which initially smelled like someone dumped a shot of vodka all over it—was washed and she no longer felt like that one time where she stayed up three days in a row to finish Dark Souls. She did not finish Dark Souls in those three days as it was rather difficult to react fast when you were sleep-deprived. Who knew?

In the shower, she spent a good deal of time wondering who the hell gave her that hickey. Was it a stranger or was it someone she knew? She contemplated asking Hinata about it but figured going to Kuroo would be the best place to start.

Kenma sat down at the dining table and Kuroo placed an omlette in front of her. She was grateful it looked rather plain as the thought of digesting much else seemed like an ordeal in it of itself. Kuroo watched her as she slowly dug into her meal. Kenma’s stomach was beginning to rebel but she wasn’t about to throw up now.

“Good?” Kuroo asked

“Mmh.” Kenma looked up to see Kuroo staring intently at her nails. “Kuro? Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Ah, I already did.”

Something felt off. “Did you see your ex at the party last night?”

“No? Why are you bringing him up?” Kuroo asked with a frown

Kenma shrugged and continued to eat her breakfast. Kuroo’s breakup had been a messy one but not many people knew the details. Apparently Bokuto knew and that bother Kenma. All she knew, herself, was that it had something to do with her.

“Did you see me with anyone?”

“Well I didn’t see you much in the beginning of the party.”

“But you took me home, right?” Kenma pressed.

“Uh, yeah?”

“You didn’t see me with anyone when you came to take me back?”

Kuroo rubbed her neck. “No…”

Wait…. “Did I have hickey at that time?”

Kuroo looked everywhere but at her. Surely not…

“Kuro, did you give me this hickey?”

To Kenma’s mild horror, tears began welling up in Kuroo’s eyes. “I-I’m so sorry Kenma. I’m really sorry. You can—you can do whatever you want with me. I’m just—“

“Wait, wait, wait…so let me get the events in order: you called a Lyft or something and we went back to our dorm. And then we ended up making out on my bed I’m guessing. And then you got horrified and went to wallow in your room, right?” Everything was starting to finally make sense to Kenma. She always felt as though she were missing something with Kuroo. She knew that a kiss wouldn’t bother Kuroo that much unless it had weight behind it—Kuroo hardly cared about kissing Bokuto after all.

“Yes….” If the kicked puppy look was saying anything, then it was clear that Kuroo expected the worst.

“Kuro….how long have we known each other?”

“I-is this a trick question?”

“No—I mean, why would you expect that I’d get mad?”

“Well because you got mad at Lev…”

“You and I both established Lev is an idiot.” Kenma sighed. “I’m just surprised I didn’t notice this about you.”

“Notice what?” Kuroo asked, slowly looking up at Kenma.

“You liking me.” At that, Kuroo buried her hands in her face and groaned.

“I didn’t want you to notice, that’s why.”

“Why? Because I don’t like you?”

Kuroo mumbled something intelligible in her hands but Kenma had an idea of what she was getting at.

“Kuro….you’re the exception to a lot of my rules. It’s why the thing I’m most surprised about is that I didn’t pick up on your crush.”

“Yeah?” Kuroo asked, peaking up from her hands.

“Yeah.” Kenma smiled, “I notice you all the time.”

Kuroo smiled for what felt like the first time that morning and Kenma’s raging headache didn’t feel as bad as before.

[butteredcroissantworld-blog]

Find Someone Else To Take You Home: Chapter 1

*Because everyone I’ve had proofread this has asked, I should clarify, the main characters name is Sebastian, she is a woman. She is the 27-year-old twin sister to Wade Wilson (I googled the age so it may be wrong)*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In my ten years of experience, I think I’m allowed to say that gunfire is one of the worst things to wake up to. You awaken confused and disoriented, you don’t know what’s going on. In my case I was hungover so the loud bangs were enough to knock me off my feet. I’m ashamed to say it happened more than once.

My hands were prickling at the feeling of broken glass beneath me, ironically coming from the glass of water I was supposed to drink as soon as I woke up.

Guess that won’t be happening, eh?

I scrambled to my feet, blindly fumbling for my gun I kept at my bedside; my unsteady legs carried me from my room to the kitchen down the hall, a yelp escaping my throat every three seconds as more shots rang out.

The sheet of drywall behind me splintered and I dropped, ducking behind the counter, the approaching thud of footsteps promised that I wasn’t done yet. I checked my ammo.

Five bullets.

Great.

A smile grew on my face and I stood up. More shots were fired, I ducked back down.

“ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! WAIT JUST TEN SECONDS!”

They stopped and I took a breath, shaking my head to clear the fog.

“There’s how many of you? Fourteen?” I nodded to myself, not expecting an answer, I rested my back against the cabinet and sighed. “Well, I only have five bullets so you’ve all got to share.”

One of them made a disgruntled noise and I smirked, vaulting over the counter and firing the first bullet, sending a little ball of death through the two smallest men’s skulls.

‘Two down, twelve to go.’

It was complete chaos as I launched my assault against the others. The metallic taste of blood coating my tongue and tainting the air; I was down to two bullets and still nine men remained. A sharp pain twanged in the middle of my chest and I looked down.

‘Since when did they have a fucking machete?!’

I silently cursed myself and sighed, whipping my head back to connect the back of my head with his face; I earned myself a crack and a scream.

‘Did this piece of cock just get blood in my hair, you little shit-fuck!’ I surged forward off the embedded blade and turned, bringing a foot up to meet the family jewels, another scream, two more men grabbed me from behind, I growled.

“I should make it clear-” I twisted, snatching a knife from the countertop and repeatedly driving it backward, “Don’t. Touch. Me. Unless. I’m. About. To. Suck. Your. Dick.”

I got my hands back on my gun after dodging more bullets, hiding behind the island and shooting the guy who’d stabbed me earlier- twice.

I was out of bullets.

“The only one allowed to turn me into a kabob is my neighbor, and even that's not a given. His cock’s a fucking toothpick.” I groaned, dropping the gun.

“And now I’ve got no ammo. Bad Sebby.” My fingers closed around my knifes’ handle and with a flick of my wrist it penetrated the nearest soldiers forehead.

“Good Sebby.”

As much as I would’ve loved to beat the ever living shit out of these house guests I couldn’t hold my own much longer, my adrenaline was wearing off and my heartbeat was pounding in my ears, I tucked into a roll, entirely forgetting the fact that I had a fucking staircase in my house.

So after my lovely little stroll down the marble stairs, I pushed my bruised body off the floor and ran. My aching feet seemed to know where I was going but I sure as hell didn’t. At this point, I really just wanted to be back in bed, preferably with a sexy chick lying next to me.

My surroundings visibly got rougher as I ran, the building more run down, the people more sketchy, I can’t say I was worried, but I didn’t exactly want to face off against anyone else. There was one nice building, that was the one I stopped at.

Bad decision, I spontaneously collapsed to the ground, shaking. My legs convulsed and I sighed.

I seem to be doing that a lot don’t I?

“Hello sweet sweet pavement, we meet again,” I mumbled, my cheek squished against the concrete.

Rain began to fall, pattering on the ground and the thin t-shirt on my back; I heard the door open and forced myself to look up, smiling in pain.

“Hey, Emmy. People are trying to kill me again.”

That was the last thing that left my mouth before I passed out from exhaustion.

[hotsterfield]

Deep breaths - H.O.

Word Count: 3463

summary: Waking up naked next to you best friend is one thing, but him telling you he loves you changes everything.

Masterlist | Promptlist | 2500 giveaway

A/N: This is very angsty! When i started writing it, i didn’t know it would turn out like this. I wanted to write fluff, but apparently that wasn’t an option, so here you have something just a little darker. I hope you guys enjoy it!

You woke up with a pounding headache, so even though you registered that you were awake, and that you were naked, you kept your eyes closed. As the body behind you moved closer to you, you knew it was Harrison. You could recognise his smell, and the feel of his body anywhere and anytime.

The relationship between you and Harrison was hard to explain. You were close friends, and you even shared an apartment with him. The dynamic between the two of you was something else. You were a natural flirt and you often didn’t realize it. Harrison was always sarcastic, but would always respond to your flirting.

Two someone who didn’t know the relationship between the two of you, you could seem like you hated each other one moment, but the next it seemed like you were inches away from kissing each other.

A few times, you had ended up in bed together, doing something that would pass any friendships boundaries. It wasn’t unusual for you to share a bed, and just cuddle, but the sex only happened when both of you were too drunk to think rationally. Which was the exact reason behind you waking up in his bed naked.

Not ready to deal with your drunk mistake yet, you pretended to still be sleeping, when he gently called out your name. Instead of waking you up, like he did the other times this happened, he placed a gentle kiss on the back of your head.

“You have no idea how much I love you” He whispered. You instantly opened your eyes, and turned around so you were facing him. You never used love like that. You only loved each other as friends, so why did he say it like that? So lovingly?

“What do you mean “I love you”? This is a one time thing, a drunk mistake, nothing else. What with the l-word?” You asked seriously, as he avoided your eyes.

“Nothing. It’s nothing. It just slipped. Just forget about it. It doesn’t matter” He turned his face away from you, something he always did when he lied to you. In your hungover state, you didn’t know what to think or do. You hated the word love, and he knew that.

“Cut the crap. Us sleeping together is one thing, we can pretend it didn’t happen, like we’ve always done. You saying “I love you”, is kind of hard for me to ignore” You said harshly, as he finally looked you directly in the eye. You could see the pain in his eyes, and the mess in your head only got worse. You both knew there was no turning back form this.

“What did you think was going to happen? Several years of you shamelessly flirting with me, more than 5 years of us cuddling. We lived together for 2 years, and how many nights have we spent separate? Not that many. In the past 2 months, we’ve slept together 5 times, and every time you wake up saying “Let’s just pretend this didn’t happen”, but what if I don’t want to do that? What if I don’t think this is a drunk mistake, and what if I’ve been in love with you for the past year?”

“No. We’re not doing this. I don’t want to do this. Do you really want to do this? Do you really want to tell me that you love me, and tell me you mean it, instead of blaming it on the alcohol? This is not how our friendship works Haz” You said, getting up from the bed, needing to get away from him. You heart was pounding and your breathing was getting unsteady. You took a shirt from the floor, not caring who of you it belonged to, as well as your underwear from last night and put it on.

“How can you call this a friendship? I don’t know what the hell we are, but I’m pretty sure we passed friends a long time ago. There’s a lot of stuff that we do, that friends don’t. And yes, I want to do this. Because I can’t keep doing whatever it is we’re doing” He answered, sitting up in the bed, following you with his eyes.

“No. No. No! I’m not. We’re not! I’m not doing this. I can’t do this” You felt the knot in your stomach, and it felt like the air had left your lungs. Your hands started to shake, and you felt the tears starting to form in your eyes. When he opened his mouth to say something, you just shook your head and left his bedroom.

“Y/n! Wait. We can’t just leave it like this. We have to talk about this” You heard his voice behind you, but you just smacked the door closed behind you. You knew what was coming, and you knew it was too late to stop it.

Your legs was shaking, and when you couldn’t hold your own weight anymore, you fell to the floor. At this point, you were gasping for air, hugging your knees tightly as you rocked back and forth. You mind went black, and the only feeling present was the fear. Fear of losing Harrison, fear of screwing up, fear him wanting more than you could give him, fear of the love he felt for you.

“Y/n please. Just talk to me” He said, as he opened the door. You barely heard him. All sounds seemed so far away, and the sound of you pounding heart was the only think you heard. When you felt his hands on you, and pained whimper left your lips, and you instantly pulled away from him.

“Don’t. Touch me” You let out, your voice shaking. You looked up at him with frightened eyes, only to be met by his sad blue ones.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry” He kept repeating as he walked away. He had seen your panic attacks before, but he had never seen one come this fast. Usually, you could stop them before they got really bad, and it had been a while since you had had one. Knowing he was to blame killed Harrison a little. He knew you needed your space, and that you just wanted to be left alone.

He closed your bedroom door, and you let out uncontrolled sobs. He wanted nothing more than to go back in there and hold you till you calmed down, but he knew he was the last person you wanted to be near you right now.

Not many of your panic attacks were the same. For the past few years, you had been okay with Harrison holding you, and it had even helped you calm down. Sometimes it would only make things worse, and he would also feel so helpless. He hated seeing you like this, and knowing he couldn’t help you only made it harder. Knowing it was his fault was the worst.

Listening to your sobs was like torture, but he couldn’t leave. He didn’t get much further than your closed door. He just stood there with tears in his eyes, his head spinning trying to find a way to fix this. He just had to screw things up. He just had to go and confess his feelings, like the idiot he was.

With shaking hands, he called the only other person he knew, that might be able to calm you down, or at least just give you some kind of comfort. How could he be so stupid? He had seen how much it affected you, when some guy you had gone out with, suddenly wanted to get serious. He knew how much the thought of love scared you, and yet he still told you he loved you.

“Hey Haz, what’s up?” Tom’s voice spoke after I couple of rings.

“I fucked up. Tom, I ruined everything. I messed it all up so badly. I can’t fix it” Harrison’s voice was shaking as he spoke, his voice close to breaking.

“What are you talking about? What happened? What’s going on?” Tom asked, worried about his friend.

“It’s bad. I can’t touch her. She doesn’t want me there” Tears were streaming down his face, as he tried his best to keep it just a little bit together. “I gave her a panic attack. I told her I loved her and…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Y/n? Is she okay?” There was worry in Tom’s voice. Both for you and for Harrison.

“No! She’s not. I told her I loved her! I didn’t think, okay?! For a second, I got caught up in that stupid little love bubble, and I thought. I thought… I thought we were getting there. I messed it up. I fucked it up” Harrison said brokenly.

“I’ll be right over”

***

“Haz, where is she?” Tom had never gotten to your apartment faster than he did today. His shoes were left untied and the shirt he was wearing was inside out. He hadn’t even bothered to put on a jacket. Harrison didn’t even say a word, he just pointed at your door.

You had stopped crying, but you were still holding on to your legs for dear life, desperately trying to wrap your head around the situation. There was a light knock on the door, and you heard footsteps approaching.

“Y/n? Are you okay, love? Is it okay if I sit down?” Tom gently asked. You gave a small nod, and he sat down beside you, making sure to keep some distance between the two of you.

“I know this is a lot to ask, but can you look at me? I just need to know how bad it is right now. I just want to help you, you know that, right?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice as calm as possible. Slowly, you lifted your head and looked at him.

“There you go. Now we need to do something about that breathing, alright? You can do that, right? Just breathe in and out. Like I do. Deep breaths. Slow breaths. In and out. Just in and out” He kept repeating the words, his right hand moving up every time he breathed in and down when he breathed out. He talked slowly, and made sure that your focus was on him.

After some minutes, you started getting control over your breathing again. You were still breathing faster than usually, so Tom kept breathing with you till you were at a more normal pace. When your breathing slowed down, you felt your body relax as well, and your death grip on your legs was loosened.

“See? You’re doing just fine. You’re doing great. Are you okay, love? Feeling a little better?” He asked you, and you just gave him a quick nod. Your body felt tired and a sadness washed over you. You always got upset after a panic attack, and both Tom and Harrison knew that. “Do you want a hug?”

“Yeah” You let out, as you sent him a sad smile. He quickly moved closer to you, and put his arms around you. You knew you weren’t going to cry, you just felt so sad. In a way, you felt empty.

“Do you want to talk about it? We can just stay here if you don’t want to, but I am a little confused to how on earth Harrison made you like this? What happened? You were both fine yesterday” He asked, his voice still calm.

“We ended up together last night. Again. I wanted to just pretend like it didn’t happen, like the last few times it happened. But then he… He told me he loved me. I can’t… I don’t… I freaked out. Like I always do. Why did he do that?” You pulled away, and looked at Tom, hoping he somehow had an answer.

“So you’re telling me that you guys have slept together, several times, and none of you told me about it? I’m find that kind of offending. But I think he told you, because he means it. He is so smitten with you, and it even took me a while to realize it. I didn’t realize it was you, before I noticed the way he looks at you”

“But why? We’re friends. We’re just friends. I would screw it up. What if I get bad again, and it pushes him away? Or that he gets to freaked about it, and decides he can’t do it? You’ve seen me. You know how bad it can get. How can anyone love that?”

“Is that what’s worrying you? That your anxiety and panic attacks are going to drive him away? Because that won’t happen. I can promise you that. I’ve seen him drop everything he had in his hands, just to go and comfort you. One time he left a date behind, because you needed him. He loves you. It’s going to take a lot more than panic attacks to scare him away”

“But what if I can’t give him what I want? What if I’m not enough. I’m not even sure I like him like that, and I can’t. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t love as much as he can” You felt the pressure on your chest starting to come back.

“Relax love. Don’t stress too much about it. Just tell me honestly. What’s scaring you? What the worst that could happen, if you took a chance?” He asked, as he kept a worried eye on you. He knew this conversation was hard for you, because you always hated talking about feelings.

One of the first times Tom and Harrison witnessed one of your panic attacks, you had scared them so badly. You had all been at a party, and you had been shamelessly flirting with a random guy all night. As soon as he started talking to you about feelings, and when he asked you on a date, you had turned pale and you just walked away. It had been a mild attack, but it was enough to make the boys insist you made your way home.

Ever since that night, that had noticed how you always avoided the topic of love. A few times you had gone on a few dates with some guys, but when they started to get more serious, you got scared. You always seemed so confident, and it wasn’t because you were scared to have a one night stand, but as soon as the feelings got involved, you stopped it.

“I could lose him. I could get too attached, and then he would leave me, because it turned out I was too much after all. Or he realizes I wasn’t what he thought I was. What if I can’t love him as much as he loves me? I would always have a suitcase packed, and one foot out of the door, and he would be all in. What if I have to break his heart? I can’t do that. Not to him”

“Aren’t you already attached to him? How often do you share a bed? You spent all of your time with him. When he goes away with me, he keeps talking about you. I took a picture of you two, a long time ago” He said, as he found the picture on his phone. You were asleep in his lap, and Harrison was just looking at you with a little smile.  “See the way he looks at you? He’s like a love drunk idiot, because that’s what he is”

“But we’re just friends. Good friends. I didn’t even know he felt that way” You couldn’t wrap your head around it. You didn’t want it to be true, but at the same time, as growing part of you just wanted the smoking gun. The last proof to convince that he loved you.

“For the past year he has turned every girl who tried to flirt with him, always telling them he had a girl back home. He turned you down, every time you got too drunk, because he knew you weren’t ready. But I guess since you’ve already slept together more than once, which again, none of you told me about, I think you feel some kind of thing for him too. I’ve seen the way you look at him too” Tom smiled at you, and you knew he was right. You did feel some kind of thing, you just couldn’t admit it to yourself.

“It was just so easy to pretend like nothing happened. Then I still got what I wanted, but without the risk” You admitted. You wanted him. You wanted Harrison, but you knew you would be risking your entire friendship, and you didn’t know if you were ready for that.

“But wouldn’t it be great to have him all of the time? Not just when you’re drunk, and able to play it off as a mistake? And if things go wrong, you’ll still have me. I will fly across the world if you need me. I promise” You smiled at the brown eyes boy in front of you. He was right. Tom was always your backup, for when Harrison wasn’t there, so of course he would still be there, if things went wrong.

“But what do I do now? I know that I feel some kind of way about him, but what do I do with that?” You asked, unsure what to do. It wasn’t exactly a situation you had been in before.

“Just go talk to him. I think he’s still outside your door, so just go out there and tell him. I’ll stay in here if you need me, okay?” Tom kept his eyes on you, as you took a couple of deep breaths and left the floor. Hopefully, his work here was done, and hopefully this was going to end well.

When you walked out of the door, you found Harrison sitting against the wall. He looked up at you with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You felt the sadness come back, and it was in this moment you realized just how much you actually cared for the boy. You weren’t ready to say you loved him just yet, but the feeling you felt for him was very close to love.

“Y/n, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just. I screwed up. I’m an idiot, and you have every right to hate me right now. I hate me. Seeing you that way, and knowing it’s my fault is killing me. I’m so sorry” He apologized as he stood up in front of you. Fresh tears rolled down his cheeks, and you felt like someone had punched you in the stomach.

“Don’t be. Tom made me realize that. I don’t know how to say this, but I want this. I. I-I want us. I’m so far out of my comfort zone right now, but I think I’m ready. I mean, I’m ready to try, and I want to try with you. I might not be that good at this, but I want to try, no matter how much it scares me” You told him, and your body relaxed when you saw the smile growing on his lips.

“You have no idea how happy that makes me. I really l… “ He stopped himself, and thought for a short moment before starting again. “I really like you. And I have for a while now. I won’t ever do this to you again. If I do, you have my permission to kill me”

“I really like you too, but can we… Take it slow? I don’t want to rush it, because I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t want to have one foot out of the door anymore, so I’m trying to not do that” You asked, looking down at your feet. You were still just wearing his t-shit, and you couldn’t help but smile a little.

“Of course! We’ll do it in your pace. I don’t want to pressure you into anything, so I’m not going to do that. I’m going to let you take the first steps” His hand carefully lifted up your chin, so you were looking at him once again.

“Does that mean you won’t even try to kiss me?” You asked, as playful smile reaching your lips.

“Not unless you want me to” Before he could say more, you connected you lips with his. A feeling of utter happiness took over your body and you realized you had wanted this for longer than you thought. You even had a feeling that he might actually be the one.

“So how’s it going out here? Oh… I guess I’ll just. Leave then. I don’t think you need me anymore”

TAGLIST

@rock-n-roll-queens @m-sterre @exclusively-inclusive@rock-n-roll-queens @exclusively-inclusive @behxndthemask@stephie-senpai @gaiasambuci @ilvermornyqueen @waywardswain @maretxe

[blessyourheartdharps]

Just A Talk || Dani&Abel

who: Dani Harper & Abel Hayward @hayabel

when: Wednesday - 07/25/18 around 1230/1 pm

where: Abel’s apartment - kitchen

what: Dani and Abel talk about what happened the night before

notes: triggers include depression, grief/death, alcohol use

Dani had left Max's place and started on her journey home. On her way she made a quick stop at McDonald's for sweet tea and something loaded with more grease than she wanted to think about. It tasted good, that's what mattered right? Her head was still reeling from just how stupid she'd been by texting Santana, which didn't help the anger that was still bubbling under the surface over Abel walking out on her the night before. He was her best friend, one of her only friends, and she hated seeing him be miserable, especially when they'd gone out to forget. 

Unlocking the door, she slipped in. "You up yet? I've got McDonald's." She called out as she headed into the kitchen. She wasn't nearly as hungover as she had been expecting to be this particular morning, which was nice, but she had a feeling Abel wasn't fairing nearly as well.

Last night should've went down differently, but he ended up leaving because he didn't want to ruin the mood even more. Which, he didn't understood why he had became depressed and moody. After he texted Marley when he woke up around noon, he jumped into the shower and just let the water ran down his body, trying to make sense of everything that happened. 

He turned off the water, he grabbed the towel that was hanging up and dried himself before he wrapped it around his waist. He glanced at his phone,  seeing if his parents texted him about Isabella but nothing and let out a sigh when he heard Dani. 

Abel turned off the fan, headed out of the bathroom and yawned. "Yeah, I’m up. What did you get?" He asked as he walked into the kitchen and looked into the bag of food.

Dani looked back at Abel as he came into the kitchen. "An unholy amount of chicken nuggets and fries," she said as she began to pull the shirt off her back. It was soaked in sweat, between a nightmare she'd had and the walk home. Being free of it she draped it over her arm and turned her attention fully to Abel. "So, you want to eat before, during, or after I tear you a new one for last night?" She placed a hand on her hip and tilted her head. She really hoped he chose before so she could grab a shower, but it didn't entirely matter to her in the moment.

Abel nodded when he saw them and looked for the of sweet & sour sauce. He glanced over at her after he thought about it. "If you're going to slap me, go ahead and get over with it. I deserve it and I shouldn’t have been like that, I’m owning up to my shit and can always write a cute I’m sorry card and send sorry I’m asshole balloons to Max's place." He replied as he took a sip of sweet tea. "Also, if I knew why my mood shifted during drinks, I would tell you but I don't know why, aight? Don't know why I became distant or became an asshole. So go ahead and rip me a new one, I don't care."

Dani sighed as Abel spoke, taking the shirt off her arm and twisting it tight and then whipping it at him, the shirt slapping him across the abdomen. "While I'm sure he'd find it amusing, I do think it's unnecessary." She looked at him, wanting so bad to still be angry at him, to rage and fight, but if there was one thing that cooled her jets, it was someone feeling sorry. "You're grieving and stressed and alcohol is a depressant. Had we stayed here last night we'd have been drunk and crying into our ice cream. It's why I wanted to go out. I was hoping it'd help." She walked up to him, draping her shirt over her shoulder. "You want to know why I was angry? Because you acted like you being upset was the worst thing that could have happened to my night. You acted like just because you weren't okay it would bring me down, you know what brought me down? You leaving."

Abel let out an 'ow' before he glanced over at her. "Okay, I'll just give it to you then." He replied as he looked at her. He turned so his body was facing her and leaned against the counters. He opened up his mouth, closed it when she started to talk again and  swallowed hard as he tried not to cry as he looked down at his feet. "I know that you had a shit ton of things going on, I knew me being sad and depressed last night wasn’t the key thing that you need. We went out because you needed a distraction from being held up in here. Granted yes, we would've been crying into our ice creams because we sometimes do that." He paused for a bit and let out a sigh. "I’m sorry for leaving last night, I’m sorry for bringing you down by doing that. The only thing I was focusing on was that, you were having fun last night with Max and I didn't want to ruin it and I guess I did that anyway by leaving."

She shook her head, rolling her eyes a bit. "Again, amusing, but unnecessary."  She wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on his chest so she was looking up at him. "But you neglected what you needed by focusing on what I wanted and what you thought I needed. Yes, we went out for me, but I never wanted it to be all about me. You're my best friend and I hate seeing you upset like that, but that doesn't mean I want you to leave when you do." Dani smiled at him. "Apology accepted, but please know I'm entirely blaming you for the fact drunk me texted Santana, cause you would have made sure I didn't do it."

Abel wrapped his arms around her when he felt her arms around him and let out a sigh. "I figured it would be for the best if I do leave, instead of making a scene right there and then." He replied softly as he glanced down at her and gave her a small smile before he raised an eyebrow.  "Shit, next time I'll take your phone with me and make sure you don't get it back."

"Darlin', all you had to do was pull me aside for a min and talk to me, but you didn't. You made up your mind and left. All that ever does is make people worry 'bout you." She looked away, resting her head on his chest in a more comfortable position. "It's not all bad. I just needed someone to talk to after Max passed out and her number was there. I mean we got into a weird, important conversation which I fuckin' hate, but I was drunk enough not to care. Hey, it could be worse, I could have texted Angela."

Abel tried to blink away the tears but one escaped and rolled down his cheek as he rubbed her back. "I’m sorry." He whispered. He wiped away the tear as he listened to her and glanced down at her. "Yeah, which reminds me. Gimme your phone." He held out his hand and knew that he had to do this.

Dani looked up at Abel and nodded a bit. "Apology accepted." She then pulled away from him, eyebrow raised. "Hell no. Tell me why you want it."

"Thank you." Abel said as he looked down at her. He raised an eyebrow as he kept his hand out. "To rename Santana in your phone and I’m sure Angela is blocked, but gotta make sure."

Dani crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him. "Even drunk me knows Angela's number by heart so it doesn't matter, but her number and contact and all of her texts are gone. As for Santana, no. It's fine. It's not like I was typical drunk texting. I started talking about Max cause he's her fucking cousin and then the conversation changed. She asked about my drinkin’ habits and I made a snide comment about Angela and she asked if she needed to commit murder."

Abel coped her movement and looked down at her as he leaned against the counter more to look at her better. "So this entire time, Max's Santana's cousin? Well shit." He replied as he moved his arms so he can propped himself onto the counter carefully and crossed his legs over each one. "Oh so is she gonna pretend she didn't break up with you for her ex? 'Cause that's not gonna roll with me."

Dani shrugged. "Apparently. " Dani rolled her eyes, sighing at his words. "She's apologized more than she ever needed to. I was over her before the end of that year. Sure, being back I'm hit with feelings and shit but that's not just because of her." Unfolding her arms, she stuck them in her back pockets. "She wants to try being friends, I'm not against that. She cares, or something."

Abel listened to her, slowly nodded and looked at her. "As along she doesn’t hurt you, that's all I’m sayin'." He replied as he walked past her and headed into his room. He shut his door, walked towards his dresser and grabbed a pair of underwear. He slid his underwear on, slipped a pair of basketball shorts and hung his towel once he was in the bathroom.

Dani sighed, nodding. "She won't." While she couldn't guarantee Santana wouldn't, she had a feeling she wouldn't. Santana wanted to fix things, that wasn't a bad thing, was it? As Abel left, Dani slipped out of her shoes and jeans, digging through her suitcase in hopes of finding something decent to wear after her shower. She'd text Santana after she showered.

[loveisfakeasfuck]

Bored...get to know me I guess

Are you “with” the very last person you kissed? negative

Ever dated/kissed a someone with the name Casey, Tyler, Ryan, Jordan, Colton, Rebecca, Samantha, Lauren, Taylor, or Ashley? Jordan, Taylor...I think that’s it?

Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or lying down? Sitting in a car

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made? I mean not all of them but I don’t regret anything

Are you excited for anything? I should be but I’m not in a stellar mood right now tbh

Do you hate the last person you kissed? I barely know him lol

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do? haha idk

Will this weekend be a good one? It should be!

Are you mad at someone right now? I’m mad at a situation I guess, not a person

Do you like to listen to the radio in the car? No I do spotify

Do you sleep with a fan on? no

How is your hair right now? It needs to be washed tbh

Have you ever broken up with someone for someone else?

No

How many windows are open on your computer? two

How tall are you? five zerooo

Is something bothering you? Yes

Have you ever taken a shower with anyone before? Yes

Have you ever laughed at something that wasn’t meant to be funny? Yes

Have you ever told someone of the opposite sex “Fuck you”? Yes

Do you like to cuddle? Depends. If I don’t feel connected to you or attracted to you no but if we have chemistry then yes

Have you done anything sneaky lately? Not really haha

Is your hair clean? We already went over this haha hell nah

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling? No. I was hungover af lol

Were you happy when you woke up today? No, I had a sore throat

What are you drinking right now? Hot water with apple cider vinegar and honey

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes

Does someone have feelings for you? Maybe idk

Have you ever been cheated on? Yes

How are you feeling right now? Kind of depressed honestly

What are you sick of? things not going my way

Are you missing anyone/something? my brother, my grandma, being in a relationship

Relationship to the last person you called? mom

Could you date someone shorter than you? that would be a feat to find a guy shorter than 5 foot haha

Is there anybody you just wish would fall of the planet? fuckboys

Do you wear glasses? yeah

Where did you sleep last night? my bed

Do you straighten your hair? sometimes

What color shirt are you wearing? black

Do you have a best friend? yes

Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now? no

Who is the last person you got a text from? Lauren

Are you excited for winter? It is winter and I am not pleased about it honestly haha

What were you doing before you started this survey? just reblogging away

Can you honestly say that you love yourself? I really can

How many people have you kissed? The number is honestly probably somewhere in the 40s lolol

Do you just feel awkward when you dance? No but I probably should hahah

Do you think you spend too much time feeling upset? I do

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? Nah

Do you own a pair of uggs? us middle class bitches own bearpaws

What are your plans for tomorrow? going to work

Has the person you have feelings for ever told you that you’re attractive? I don’t particularly have feelings for anyone right now

Can you get over people easily? depends on what your definition of “easily” is

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? I mean no

How was your weekend? it had it’s ups and downs but it ended nicely

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? acquaintences

How do you feel right now? a little depressed

Do you hide your feelings or show them? it’s very hard for me to hide my feelings

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? I prefer it longer but I’ve kept it short for a while

What is the last thing you cooked today? I warmed up a can of soup haha

What do you always take with you? chapstick

Last person you drove around in a car with? Angie bae

Do you think relationships are hard? they’re a lot of work but I wouldn’t say they’re always hard

What are your plans for this weekend? I’m going to see the Chainsmokers and then going to my friend’s grad party

Any friends who are constantly venting about their significant other? Not constantly but everyone needs to vent every once in a while I feel

Have you ever been ice-skating? yes

Do you obsessively apply lip-gloss or lip balm? I apply chap stick like a lot unless I’m wearing lipstick

Anything in your room that you’re hiding from your parents or someone else? I mean I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t be happy about my vibrator but I’m also 24 and don’t live with them so I’m not too worried about it lol

Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself? honestly no

What’s your most noticeable flaw? I mean I have a lot of tics but idk if I consider that a flaw

And what’s your best feature? I have nice tits lol

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it? depends on the situation. like in front of people, no, but in private, yes.

Have you ever hallucinated? I get super high fevers when I’m sick and I usually hallucinate when that happens

Do you like Musicals? I do

Is your hair damaged? Not too badly I just fully died it for the first time ever

Do you live with anyone that you try to avoid at all costs? nah my roommates are cool

Who was the last person you threw out of your life? I wouldn’t say I’ve ever “thrown” anyone out of my life

Do you regret something you did yesterday? met a guy at the bar on Saturday and stayed the night with him, but I don’t think I gave him my number and I kind of regret that a little

When was the last time you cried? yesterday

Why were you crying? because I found out that one of the biggest fuckboys I know is in a relationship and I don’t think it’s fair that he gets to be in a relationship and I don’t. stupid I know but that’s why

Whats the last thing you ate? crackers and hummus

What kind of bottoms are you wearing? printed leggings

What do you hear right now? my roommates are watching some youtube video in the living room

How many hours did you sleep last night? idk enough

Is something bothering you right now? we’ve hella been over this already

In the past week have you gotten sick? I woke up with a sore throat this morning

In the past week have you felt stupid? yes

In the past week have you got your hair cut? no

What were you doing at 9 AM this morning? working on my final paper for class

In the past week have you felt sad? yes

Has someone disappointed you recently? mmm nah

[moitessiera-blog]

Dragon Age romances react to their female lover being taller than them (so for Bull they'd be Qunari, Solas - elven. But basic human being taller than them for all others?) THANK YOU!

Ok, let’s do this! (Note: DA2 only as there isn't space to do all LIs across three games)Anders:- Hawke and her brother are very tall. He knew Fereldans could get tall. It makes them look very powerful. Maybe they’d be useful, and help him in exchange for the maps?- She’s a mage! Andraste, is there something more attractive than a woman that’s so obviously powerful? He feels weak in the knees about it, dammit.- Justice reminds him not to get infatuated with this woman, but no matter, Hawke wouldn’t be interested anyway.- But she flirts with him too, she’s kind and thinks about other mages, not just herself. Maker give him strength. This tall vision starts filling his waking and sleeping moments, but he reminds himself that she could not be his.- When her brother joins the Templars, he’s afraid either Hawke or he will end up in the circle.- But she doesn’t give up. He can’t deny how he feels, Hawke is a grown woman who can make her own decisions too, she knows what loving a fellow apostate would mean.- And there’s something… Powerful… When he pushes her against the pillar in the clinic, kisses this vision of power and beauty.- And the way they lie together, a tangle of limbs, her long arms hold him tightly and it makes him believe she’d never let go.

Isabela:- The first time she sees Hawke, she’s wearing a shirt that probably would cover up the midriff of a normal sized person. But Maker bless that shirt that shows a washboard set of abs. She’s impossibly tall. She high-key wants to climb Hawke. When the towering, willowy woman smirks and offers to help her retrieve the relic too…- Why does Hawke have to tease and flirt but give up nothing? It’s infuriating and actually kinda sexy. But Hawke needs climbing and she’ll buy hiking boots if needs be.- Every so often, if she’s admiring someone in The Hanged Man, she imagines Hawke in their clothes. Hawke fills them out better, skin gets exposed where the tall woman is simply too tall for the skirt, the blouse… Those boots would leave so much thigh exposed. Get bank from the stinking deep roads!- Oh no… Bethany. At least she’s a Warden and not dead. But dammit. Isabela isn’t heartless enough to take advantage of Hawke. She wants it to be fun, not just sex to get rid of frustrations. (Maker what did she just think? Stupid!)- Flirting with Hawke does not help extinguish this spark that’s been kindling for nearly three years. Anyone else and she’d have bedded them and left, or just left.- Finally bedding Hawke really doesn’t help. It should have been fun. It really was. But maybe she left herself yearning for too long because when they lay there together and Hawke pulled her closer, nuzzled at her neck. She didn’t want to leave. - It hurt to go. It hurt to see Hawke nod as if she knew it was going to happen. - What could she say when Leandra died? Explain that a tumble might make it better and make it worse but it’d be great? It eats away at her.- Getting the relic back should have been enough. But fucking Andraste, that look of betrayal on Hawke’s face was the worst. The note kept eating at her. A note? Who does that? - Shitballs, she’s grown a conscience, or loves Hawke, or both… Either way. She’s got to go back. Hopefully Kirkwall isn’t in ashes, and Hawke isn’t too hurt. - It takes time. But Hawke is stuck with her, or Isabela is stuck with Hawke. They’re equally stuck, and it might be love, it probably is. Admitting it should have felt like she was losing her freedom. It doesn’t. And it’s wonderful. - She had to borrow one of Hawke’s tunics, hers… Ripped. It was the right length. And red and black really suited her. There’s a lot to be said about having a girlfriend you can climb and steal clothes from.

Fenris: - The Hawke warrior is very tall, she towers over her own brother. Her brother is not short either. Fenris thinks that hopefully, these people will not be intimidated by Danarius, they barely looked shocked when he ripped the heart from a man with his bare hand. - How did he not notice she’s a mage? And damn her for thinking a grin and sarcastic flirting might make him less angry at being duped? He owes her for her help and offers his sword should she need it.- She earns his trust slowly but surely. And somehow her flirting and cheekiness makes her magic less worrisome. He comes to enjoy seeing her tall silhouette in the doorway asking him to help on a “quest” as she dramatically puts it. - Why he’s followed her to the deep roads, Maker only knows. She said “I need someone who makes Carver look like a ray of sunshine. And you’re all doom, gloom, and you fight well. You have to come, and the loot gets split evenly too.” it made him chuckle. - Carver’s death affected her more than she admits. They drink together in his squat of a mansion and the drinking becomes “I could have brought Anders with me. He might have saved him! But Carver couldn’t stand Anders!” he tries to quip that not many people like the abomination, and it makes her laugh.- Hawke was rubbing off on him. While she kept a gloomy drink with him on occasion, the natural jester that made her who she was won out. And it brought out the jester in him. It was a part of himself that did not surface too often but he found that Hawke made it easy.- They were drinking with Isabela. Wicked Grace. Clothes were bet and that’s how it started. It ended with barely clad bodies in a heap on the floor of Varric’s suite in The Hanged Man. Isabela was the most naked, and Fenris was glad that the abomination was the least. He blushed as he looked at the long figure of his friend, cheeks pink from drinking. He wanted to kiss her in her vulnerability? He left, slamming the door to a chorus of hungover groans. - When Hadriana was dead, perhaps he was just too happy. Or, something. It… Started blurry. And he remembered Hawke slide down the wall where he pushed her into it. And suddenly her lips were the right height to kiss. It ended where he found himself laid across her, he looked up the bed to see her sleeping face. Quickly he’d tried to dress. There was a red satin tie on his wrist and there wasn’t time to undo the knots. He tried to remember everything that happened, memories jumbled together and faces weren’t right. And her tall figure standing there naked was no longer hers, but another tall figure that made him gag.- She woke up. Maybe she thought more of what happened between them. Either way, he couldn’t explain enough and he saw that on her face as he left. He made himself not look back. - He had to watch her cope with the death of her mother without him. They tried to go back to where they were before, but there was hurt in her eyes and guilt in his. So they stayed apart as much as they could. - They became friends again, and spoke of nothing. It was only their friends who brought it up, and only a few times. Every time it was as if he walked out again, but each time they returned to their normalcy of friendship quicker.- Three years, like time had frozen when they were still friends. And passed without warning. Danarius was dead, and she’d prevented him from killing his snake of a sister. He’d understood it. Saw her holding a knife under Carver’s throat, six years ago now, and understood that she couldn’t watch him do something so similar. - They spoke about that time, after Carver died, and about Varania. And he noticed, he was free. They spoke openly about the night they shared themselves with each other. - There wasn’t a shadow of a doubt. He would follow her anywhere, and he did love her, his best friend, he could admit it now. Hawke did too. Perhaps that was enough, and the past, who they were didn’t matter.- He’d worn that satin tie on his wrist out of a twisted guilt. He showed it to her, hidden under his gauntlet. She laughed and took it off, tying it like a ragged necklace on herself.- He used it to pull her face down to his height whenever they kissed. When it finally broke, she bought a new one, for new beginnings.

Merrill: - Creators! Merrill had prepared herself in thinking that humans would be tall, but the Hawke sisters were like beansprouts. Well, Hawke was (she hated her first name and she tried to be polite), Bethany was less tall, only a few inches taller than most human men. But Hawke, she was surely as tall as the qunari (and when she met them Merrill wondered if perhaps there was a little Qunari blood in the warrior)- She pursed her lips when she’d revealed herself to be a blood mage. But she said nothing cruel. - Arriving in Kirkwall, the warrior promised to look out for the elf, and visit.- Merrill had barely finished cleaning her little house up, and sorted out her things, when Hawke visited. She brought fruit, bread, cheese, and a glass bottle filled with sweet syrupy wine. She blushed when she could offer nothing more than water in a hopefully, clean cup. Hawke laughed and told her that the company was enough. If anything, she blushed harder at that.- Hawke did look peculiar on her small chair. She needn’t be so kind, and polite… It was endearing seeing the giant of a human out of armour and so sweet. - The Hawke family was all sweet. They went partway up Sundermount when Merrill felt homesick, picnicked, and Hawke threaded flowers in both their hair.- Merrill idly noticed that she cherished the feeling of warm fingers in her hair, and the way she looked at her as she thread them in. - When Hawke lost Bethany in the deep roads, the warrior barely smiled, she would have done anything to bring the smile back, and gradually, it did through a lot of hard work.- After all of that, three years had passed, they were friends. Admitting to the tall warrior that she wished for more took every ounce of bravery, that was rewarded with love in turn. - Her favorite moments was the two of them together, reading in a nook. Hawke surrounded her, holding her book above her head while Merrill rested into her reading her own.

Kinda turned into LI×Tall!Hawke but I liked that!

[purplesurveys]

194

Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? No. I’ve turned ancient, I can’t even do that anymore. I automatically shut down by 11 PM. What does the soap you use smell like? Like...soap-y. It’s a basic soap smell. Do you prefer to wrap gifts or use gift bags? Paper bags because I never said I could wrap my presents. The last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? Yeah, a vast majority of Filipinos have very dark brown eyes. The few ones who are different probably just have a little lighter shade of brown. Does anyone you know have their hair bleached? Yes, I think I know a couple people.

Is there anyone you know by the name of Frank? I don’t. Do you own a trenchcoat? No use for that here, so nope. Have you ever written with a pen that had pink ink? Sure. Do you remember the last thing you took a picture of? Heh, I took a photo of myself on the webcam. I had fire noodles yesterday and for some reason my skin always, always gets better when I eat spicy food so I took advantage of that and took some selfies hahahaha. From where you’re sitting, can you turn the lights off? I can’t. When was the last time you accidentally slept in? Last Wednesday. I stayed out late the night before and I couldn’t wake up, with all the noise in the world, before 8 AM–my first class that day was at 8:30. I decided I’d just have to cut it until I saw a last-minute announcement from my prof, saying he couldn’t hold class that day anyway. I got so excited and went back to bed ha. Tell me the last thing you searched on the internet? I was searching for surveys :c The last argument you had, who started it? My girlfriend did.  Do you wear a ring on your left hand middle finger? Nope. Are you currently in a smoking environment? No, my bedroom is not a designated smoking area and never has been. Can you remember the title of the song you last sang aloud? Forgiveness by Paramore. No pun intended but please forgive all the Paramore answers I will be giving in the next few weeks, I am so so so so so stoked for their concert back here and I can’t listen to anybody else but them. If a stranger smiles at you, do you smile back? Well it’s gonna depend on the smile I guess. Some people give out friendly smiles; that’s the one I tend to reciprocate. Some are just creepy; my usual instinct is either to ignore or, if I’m in an already bad mood, give them a scowl. Tell me the current time? 9:19 AM. Are you currently listening to music through earphones? Nope, I can’t keep my focus on answering surveys if I do that. What color shirt are you wearing? Is it your favorite color? Black. It’s one of them. Do you own a pair of rubber boots? I don’t. Does anyone you know own a bird that can talk? Not anymore. My great-aunt used to have a parrot that can say “You’re ugly” in Filipino but it must have died when I was maybe about 10 or 11 when I stopped seeing it at their house. What make-up are you wearing currently, if any? I haven’t worn makeup since the last debut I went to...and that was in January. Name one thing you are glad you accomplished today? My lazy ass finally give me a shower this morning. Name one thing you wished you accomplished today but didn’t? Dunno, it’s pretty early in the day. We’ll see. Have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? Always. Calling is just not my preferred mode of communicating. Do you ever not speak to someone because you’re afraid you’ll annoy them? Also always. Is there any drama going on in your circle of friends? There technically is ongoing drama but since I don’t need that high school bullshit I disassociated from the group many months ago. I stay in the group chat for formality’s sake but I don’t see or talk to most of them anymore. Have you ever known a guy who caused a lot of drama? I know lots of guys who have caused drama. That’s rich kid culture in Metro Manila, dude. Is there anyone you know who wears their hair in pigtails regularly? No. That would be...weird if I knew anyone from my age range. Personally, do you think you have a nice smile? Yes. Do you have a nervous twitch? Not really. Have you ever taken care of a drunk friend? No. I’m sensitive about way too drunk people so I let my other friends handle them. I’m fine with tipsy friends, though. How about a hungover friend? I haven’t. Does the idea of snow-peaked mountains and a large lake sound appealing?  Absolutely. I’ve never been in that environment so I think it would be a pleasant breath of fresh air if I suddenly woke up to that. Pick any number that has personal significance to you? 23. Have you ever lost your luggage at an airport? No. It’s happened to my dad several times though. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? No. Have you ever been on a rollercoaster that actually scared you? I have a fear of rollercoasters as it is so when I tried a small one in Universal Studios that’s not even supposed to be scary (worst 30 seconds of my life) it just proved my point that I’ll never get used to them. Do you know anyone who can fluently speak more than two languages? Yep. My professor in Filipino studied in Korea for a while so he’s fluent in Filipino, English, and Korean. Athenna knows Ilocano aside from Filipino and English. The last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? Many times. All a part of a relationship. How many windows are open on your computer right now? Just one, I don’t like to keep my laptop too busy. Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? Fast in terms of the general Philippine net speed. Pretty fucking slow compared with the rest of the world’s. Have you ever gone in a sauna? Noooooo no not my way of relaxing. I hate feeling hot. Out of these colors, which appeals most to you: orange, blue, or green? Blue. Have you celebrated your birthday yet this year? Yes. Is there anything you’re saving up for? Christmas gifts for my loved ones.

Are you taller than most of your friends? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’m smaller than all of them thank you for reminding me. Know anyone with a really annoying laugh? I don’t find laughs annoying. Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? I didn’t break the nose but I hit Gabie’s face once and since I did it pretty hard the bridge of her glasses cut her nose :( I felt bad and never played rough with her after that. Have you ever been someplace tropical? I live in a tropical country... If given the opportunity, would you act in a commercial? No. You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? Usually. Have you ever baked a pie? I had to in I think that was sixth grade. Home econ class. What is your favorite social networking site?  Twitter. Who was the last person to call you? Gabie. Does anyone in your family tell funny stories? Not close with my family so I find none of them funny. The one with the funniest stories was my grandfather, but he passed away two years ago. Do you believe in finder's keepers in most situations? I guess that works for other people. I just feel guilty. Is there a war memorial where you live? There isn’t. I’m sure there are in the provinces and in Manila where majority of the wars took place, but not in my city. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Yes, my great-grandfather has a portrait up in our old house. He’s clad in his uniform, badges and all. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? You bet I would. I’d repaint the walls, reposition the bed, get a TV, a desk, and a bookshelf. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Nope, they’ve all been friendly to me thus far. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle?  I haven’t ridden a bus for public transport, but in the few times that I did for school trips I always opted to sit at the front. I get dizzy easily, and the crowd is usually noisiest from the middle aisles up to the back. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? No. Are you normally a person to tell people off? No, unless I had the business to. Name an object that most would consider odd that’s special to you? a poster? Gab’s sisters got me a small bear figure before for Christmas two years ago. They knew I love Baymax, so it means a lot that they thought of me and the gift has stayed with me since. What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I already have a dog, so. Do you currently have any bug bites? Nope. Is there currently any caffeine in your system? No, but I feel the need to have some. I’ve been reliant on Starbucks for the past few weeks but now that classes are suspended for a week, it feels weird that I’m suddenly not having my usual. :( Look around, are things organized? In my dreams. Know what you’re planning to do after this? Another survey!!!!!!