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americannoona · 4 years ago

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I’ve Been Living in our Breakup for Several Days Now

Zico wasn’t kidding around when he said that he was kidnapping me. There were three different guards that took shifts outside of the door, and none of them were allowed to talk to me. And they didn’t. I didn’t even get to know their names. “But Zico, you can’t keep me locked in here forever,” I said. “Actually, I can if I want to. I have the resources, and no one knows where you are. No one knows that I own this apartment. It’s not even leased in my name,” he said.

“Ji-Yong has got to know that I’m missing by now. He will call the police. I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said. Zico smiled and rubbed his chin with his index finger. “I called him this morning before you woke up.” “What did he say?” I asked. “What did YOU say?” “He’s not very happy. I told him that I knew where you were and that you were safe. It’s the same thing that he and Seung-hyun did to me.” I glared at him. “Not exactly! They didn’t kidnap me!” “All of your things at your apartment are being packed up as we speak and put into storage. Except for your clothes and my work wardrobe. They are being sent to my hotel room,” he said. I was furious! I jumped up and said, “You can’t do that!” He stood up and put his face down into mine. “I can do anything that I want. Who’s going to stop me?” I wasn’t intimidated. “Let me out of here, Zico!” He smiled. It wasn’t a sweet smile or a happy smile. It was a sarcastic smile, and I wanted to smack it off of his face! “Call me Jiho from now on.” “You aren’t Jiho!” I said. “Call me Jiho,” he said. “Will you let me go if I do?” “No, but I’ll get you dessert for lunch,” he said. I had never wanted to smack him more than I did right now. “Jiho would never treat me this way. Zico is the one with the god complex.” “Zico IS a god,” he said. “Zico is a little boy who is trying his best to play in the same pool as the men, and he’s drowning,” I said. I regretted every damn word that had come out of my mouth. I just wanted to hit back at him and knock him off of his high horse, but I had hit on the one spot that he felt the most insecure about. It was the lowest of blows, and I was ashamed of myself. Especially, when I saw the hurt on his face. He turned and grabbed his jacket, heading for the door. “So no dessert then,” he said and slammed the door on his way out.

It was hours before I saw him again. It surprised me in a way, because I thought he would punish me with his absence for days. I decided not to speak to him until he let me go. It was really the only weapon that I had. He walked in carrying a bunch of shopping bags. I was sitting on the couch watching t.v. and I tried to ignore him. Silently, I was hoping that he had brought dinner because I didn’t have lunch, and I was starving. Why am I so hungry all of the time? I barely turned my head to watch him as he set the table. He never looked my way. He was either very hurt or very angry. I couldn’t tell. He had never used silence against me before. When he was done, he took the rest of the bags down the hall. I stayed right where I was. A few minutes later, he came out, turned off the t.v. and turned on the stereo. He surprised me again by coming over to me and holding out his hands. “Come and eat,” he said. “You have to be hungry.” I didn’t speak, but I did take his hands and let him help me to my feet. Mostly because I felt really bad about what I had said. He pulled out the chair for me. Is he trying to confuse me? Because it’s working. I sat down and waited for him to get into his chair. “I only got the things that you like to eat. I know you don’t like a lot of Korean food,” he said. “Okay, what’s going on?” I asked. I knew I was breaking my silence, but my curiosity was greater than my anger. He took a bite and said, “What do you mean?” “You aren’t mad at me?” I asked. He looked up from the food that he was practically cramming into his mouth. He stopped chewing for a second to say, “Why would I be?” I picked up my chopsticks. “Because of what I said earlier. I didn’t mean it by the way.” He shrugged and continued stuffing his face with food very quickly. “I know that,” he said. “You do?” I asked. He shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of soda. “Yeah. I know that they poisoned you against me. I don’t blame you,” he said. I put the chopsticks back down and leaned forward. “They didn’t, Zico. They never said anything against you. In fact, Seung-hyun always had good things to say about you. If you would get to know him, I think you would like him. You both have high ideas, and I think you would agree on a lot of things.” He laughed a little. “THAT’S never going to happen,” he said. “You better eat something before it’s gone.” I took a few bites. It was incredible how much food he could fit into his mouth at one time. “Will you get my phone for me from Seung-hyun’s house?” I asked. “No.” I took another bite. “Then will you get me another one?” “No.” “You mean I can’t have a phone?” I asked. “No.” “But, Zico! That’s not right! I need my phone!” I said. I could feel a huge pout coming on. “No phone. No Internet,” he said. He sat back after putting his chopsticks down, and finished off his soda. “I’m not stupid.” “I have to be here with no Internet? How do you expect me to get any work done?” I was in full pout now. My argument was weak, but I couldn’t think of another one. “You work for me. You and I will work on my new wardrobe together,” he said. “So in other words, supervised Internet!” I said. He nodded. “Yep.” “What about the fashion show I’m working on?” I asked. He got up from the table and rubbed his belly. Eating that fast had to be bad for his digestion. “I’m going to let you participate in that show. It’s good for your career. I know that you already finished the designing part and that Seung-hyun is having them sewn up. The show isn’t until the end of November. I’ll take you to all of the little workshops that you need to go to in between now and the show. As long as none of them are at his house.” I got up from the table. “You are treating me like a child!” “You acted like a child! So, essentially, you are grounded. As far as groundings go, I think you have it pretty damn good!” he said. There it was…that anger he was trying to hide. There was nothing I could do about any of this right now so I decided not to fight. I was so tired of fighting. I would think about it on my own and come up with a plan, but for tonight, I wanted peace. “Okay, Zico,” I said. I could tell that my answer threw him off a little. “Call me Jiho,” he said. “I’ll call you Jiho when you act like Jiho,” I said. He went to the bathroom without another word so I cleaned up the table. When he came back, he started the fireplace and sat on the couch. “Come and sit with me,” he said. “We’ll watch a movie.” I was still pouting, but I went over, and sat with him. He reached up to grab the t.v. remote and scooted closer to me in one move. He put subtitles on the movie for me, and then gathered the pillows into the corner of the couch. He stretched out behind me on the couch and pulled me down to lay in front of him, my head resting on his arm. It was hard to pay attention to the movie when I was hyper aware of every move he made, every breath he took, every sound he made. Soon, he was snoring softly behind me, his breath gently blowing across my hair. I was still upset about being held against my will, but laying here with him like this and listening to him breathe, softened my heart. I was never going to get over this man. I rolled over to face him. He was wearing a new cologne, and he smelled like heaven. I wrapped my arm and my leg around him, and laid my face flat against his chest. I could smell the detergent in his t-shirt under the smell of his cologne. He was so warm and familiar. I felt like I was at home when I was next to him. “I love you, Jiho,” I said quietly. “I love you too,” he mumbled and kissed the top of my head. I froze. I had thought he was asleep. After a minute, I realized that he was asleep after all. He had replied to me in his sleep. I unwrapped myself, and made my way off of the couch without disturbing him. My plan was to shower and go to bed without him to let him know that I was still displeased with this whole situation. I went into the bedroom to get a nightgown from my duffel bag when I found a brand new white satin gown laying on the bed. I couldn’t believe he had bought me a new nightgown. There was also a new fuzzy pink blanket on the bed. I took the gown into the bathroom with me where I found a whole set of skincare products. There was new shampoo and conditioner, and lotions. There was also perfume. I took the lid off and sprayed it into the air. I couldn’t read the label, but it smelled extremely expensive. It smelled like a room full of flowers. I showered and used every product he had bought. When I was done, I was softer than I had ever been. I slipped the nightgown on and sprayed myself with perfume. I felt like a wealthy woman of leisure. I wondered if he was trying to show me that he could take care of me just as well as Ji-Yong could. He didn’t understand that I already knew that. I crawled under my new fluffy blanket and found that the lining was silk. I imagined that this must be what it felt like to fly around in the clouds. Only less wet. The longer I laid there, the more I wished that Zico would join me. Finally, I fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, I felt movement behind me. I didn’t know when he had joined me in the bed, but I was glad that he had. I rolled over and scooted close to him so I could press myself against him. Taking advantage of his vulnerable state, I ran my hand up his back and over his shoulder blades. His skin was soft and warm. I laid my leg over his. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t get close enough to him. We laid like that for a little while. Then he turned over and pulled me against his chest. He began putting tiny kisses on my temple. They moved down my cheek until they landed on my neck. He licked and nibbled at my neck and shoulder as his hand explored the silkiness of the new gown that he had bought me. Then, he surprised me. I had expected his love making to continue, but he put his arms around my middle and nestled my back into the curve of his body and went back to sleep. It was one of the most frustrating nights I had ever spent with Zico, and that was saying something.

The sun coming through the windows woke me the next morning. Zico was gone. I walked through the house looking for him but all I found was a note. I have some work to take care of. I don’t know what time I’ll be back. There is cereal and milk in the kitchen. If I’m not back for lunch, I’ll send some food. —Jiho I poured some cereal, and went to watch t.v. while I ate. I am going to be bored as hell if he really keeps me here very long. That’s when I remembered him saying something about an upstairs. I hadn’t seen any stairs here. There was a doorway in the right hand corner of the room, but I had thought that it was a utility cabinet. I finished my cereal, and went to investigate. Through the doorway was a set of circular stairs. I climbed them to find a whole new world. I stepped into a huge open room that was much more colorfully decorated than the downstairs. There was a full bar along the back wall, which was mirrored and fully stocked with every kind of alcohol you could name. In front of that was a comfortable looking sitting area. To the right was another giant television with a huge system of electronics on shelves to the right. Big squishy chairs surrounded it and I assumed this was considered the game room. There was also a pool table with purple felt and an air hockey table. When I looked to the left, my breath caught in my throat. There was a pool that started inside and ran all the way to the edge of the building outside. I think they call those infinity pools, I thought. It was terrifying. There was also a hot tub and beyond that was a garden. It hadn’t been cared for in a while and it was the end of October so it was sad looking. I didn’t have much of a green thumb, but I could always hire someone to take care of it. I could imagine how beautiful it would be to sit up here among roses and watch the sun come up. “Well, Elizabeth,” I said out loud to myself, “You can’t let a nice looking swimming pool like that go to waste.” I pulled off the silk nightgown and slung it over the back of the nearest couch. Dipping my toe into the water to test the temperature left me pleasantly surprised. It was a heated pool so I sat down and slipped into the water. I had a feeling I was going to end up becoming a prune because I planned to spend a lot of time in this pool. I don’t know how long I swam and floated around. At one point, I got out to figure out how to play music. I finally figured out the monster of an electronics system enough to make music play in the overhead speakers. On the way back to the pool, I went behind the bar to look for a bottle of water. I found one, but I also found something called Crown Royal Salted Caramel. Hmm… This sounds delicious, I thought as I looked at the golden liquid. One shot wouldn’t hurt anything. I poured a shot, and stuck my tongue in it to see if it really tasted like caramel. It was very sweet. I drank it. It burned, but it tasted so good. One more should be okay. I poured another shot, and drank it more slowly. I let the liquor swish around in my mouth. I had to have a drink of water after that, but then of course I had just one last shot. That turned out not to be the last. I had five shots in total. When I started feeling it going to my head, I stopped and put the bottle back on the shelf. I got back into the pool. I wasn’t drunk…just delightfully tipsy. My skin was a little tingly and the warm water felt as silky as my new nightgown. I was tempted to strip off my underwear, but I got paranoid about being so out in the open. Then again, that might be super sexy, I thought. Seung-hyun has influenced me in more ways than I realized. I laughed to myself. It was partly the alcohol talking. I floated on top of the water with my eyes closed, and tried to forget everything that was going on. I thought about Zico’s kisses instead. That didn’t last long. “Are you dreaming of your shisha pool lover?” someone asked. It scared me so bad that I lost my concentration and went under. I swallowed water and, came up coughing. “Zico! You scared me!” “So were you?” he asked. “NO! I don’t remember my shisha pool lover!” I yelled at him and swam to the ladder. “I would have joined you, but it’s going to have to wait until I get that image out of my head,” he said and offered his hand. I ignored it. He went over to the wall where there was a cabinet full of towels, and brought me one. “It was Gong Yoo by the way,” he said. I grabbed the towel and wiped my face before wrapping it around myself. “What was Gong Yoo?” I asked. “Your shisha pool lover,” he said. “I thought you said you couldn’t tell from the picture who it was,” I said. “You can’t,” he said. “I ran into Ji-Yong today. Want lunch?” I followed him down the spiral stairs. “Really? You talked to him?” I asked. “What did he say?” At the bottom of the stairs, Zico turned and looked at me. “You could at least pretend to be less interested,” he said. Then he looked closer. He grabbed my chin and lifted my head up so he could look closer at my eyes. “What did you drink? You smell like candy.” I couldn’t remember the name of it. “Water,” I said. He rolled his eyes and walked away. “Come and get some food in your stomach before you get too drunk,” he said. I followed him like a scolded puppy to the table. He had brought pizza! There was also donuts. “What’s the celebration?” I asked. “I know you like pizza,” he said. I grabbed a piece and sat down, taking a huge bite. He stood, leaning against the island, watching me as he ate his own piece of pizza. “Damn! You really do like it don’t ya?” I gave him a “bite me” smile with squinted eyes and took another big bite. “I don’t know what it is,” I said with my mouth full. Looks like I’ve been influenced by Zico’s bad habits as well, I thought. “I have been so hungry lately.” Zico stopped chewing and stared at me. “What? I asked. “You don’t think…something is wrong do you?” he asked. I knew he was alluding to pregnancy. “I don’t think so,” I said. “You don’t know?” he asked. “Well, no. Things have been so crazy that I haven’t been keeping track of things. So, I’m not sure,” I said. “If I had my phone, I could check, but someone is being a bully and won’t get my phone for me.” “I am not a bully. I have your phone. Ji-Yong gave it to me today to give to you,” he said and took a drink of his soda. I wished he would sit down. “That’s awesome!” I said. “Can I have it?” “No,” he said. He pulled my phone out of his pocket and turned it on. “Zico! Let me see it!” I stood up. “NO!” he said. “Why don’t you have a password?” I sat back down. I knew he wouldn’t let me see it. “What’s the use? You and Ji-Yong use my phone more than I do,” I said. He gave me the “bite me” smile back. “So, how do you check to see if you’re pregnant on here?” he asked. “Open the app that says Flo,” I said. He touched the phone. “Okay. It has a big red circle that says 64 days late,” he said. “WHAT?” I yelled and dropped my pizza on the table. I got up, nearly knocking my chair over and hurried over to Zico. I grabbed the phone out of his hands, and he didn’t try to stop me. “That can’t be possible!” I looked back through the app. August 12th? What’s today? OH NO! It’s October 15th. I don’t even feel like I’m going to start! My heart was pounding in my chest. My mind was so jangled that I handed the phone back to Zico without thinking. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch muttering, “What am I going to do? I can’t be. I can’t!” to myself. Zico came in and sat beside me. The look in his eyes was fear. “What does that mean?” he asked. I looked at him. My body felt numb. “It means that I’ve missed my period for two months,” I said. “And I’m starving all of the time. And I might be pregnant,” I said. He was quiet for a minute. Then he spoke just above a whisper, “Who’s baby is it?” I had to think. The last few times I had had sex was with him. “It’s yours,” I said. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I’m positive,” I said. Zico pulled out his phone and made a call. He stood up and walked away from me even though he was speaking in Korean. He didn’t talk long when he put his phone in one pocket and mine in the other. “Go get dressed,” he said. “We are going to take care of this right now.” I jumped up, “What does that mean?” “No! No, that’s not what I meant! I mean we are going for a test,” he said. “Hurry.” I ran down the hall and into the walk in closet. I stopped dead. There were clothes hanging there that I had never seen before. I looked through them and they were gorgeous. I would have picked out every piece in here for myself. “Do you like them?” asked Zico. He was leaning against the doorway with his arms akimbo watching me. “I’m not great at picking out clothes for women.” My eyes filled with tears. “They are wonderful,” I said. “You didn’t have to do this.” “Yes, I did,” he said. “If I’m going to hold you captive, the least I can do is dress you.” I walked over and put my arms around him. “Thank you. I love them. You picked exactly what I would have picked.” “Good! Now, put something on. We have to go. I had to beg them to fit you in today,” he said. “Will you pick something for me?” He smiled. “Okaaay,” he said. He handed me a sunflower yellow top and a pair of jeans. I put them on and they fit perfectly. “I don’t know how you did that, but maybe you should get into costuming,” I said. “No thanks!” he said. “I’ll leave that to you nerds.” “Hey!” I said and playfully punched him in the arm.

I always forget how scary Zico’s driving is until I’m in the car with him. I distracted myself by asking him a question that I knew he didn’t want to hear. “So, what did you and Ji-Yong talk about? Where did you see him?” He shifted gears and said, “I was getting coffee, and he was there with some girl.” “Some girl? What girl?” I asked. “I didn’t know her,” he said with a hint of a smile. “What did he say?” He shifted again and swung around a slower car. “He came over and asked if you were okay.” “That’s it?” I asked. “No. I told him you were great. He wanted to know where you were. I answered by asking him about that party and why he had let you get high.” “He didn’t LET me, Zico. I chose to do it,” I said. “He LET you. I wouldn’t have let you. No matter what you CHOSE to do,” he said. That’s true. “What did he say about the party? He probably couldn’t remember either,” I said. We stopped for a red light. “Actually, he did remember. He didn’t get as high as you did. He said he went in for a glass of water, and when he came back out, you were in the pool with Gong Yoo. He was high as fuck too apparently.” I could remember floating. “He said he got in the pool and fished you out. You took off your dress and he took you in the house to find something to put on you. Everyone else got in the pool. He put a robe on you and left you in a bed to sleep. Seung-hyun found you in the bed later with Gong Yoo. He took a liking to you it seems. Ji-Yong said he’s called Seung-hyun three times asking about you. He wanted your number,” said Zico. “That’s weird,” I said. “Seung-hyun made him leave the room and locked you in to sleep. Then he and Ji-Yong decided to go to bed too and for some reason, they thought the best place was to sleep with you.” “He doesn’t like to sleep alone,” I said. Zico gave me a funny look. “Then they woke up and you were gone. They didn’t remember me coming into the room, and taking you out of there. At least that’s the story he told me. It’s a much better story than I had imagined in my head so I’m going to choose to believe it.” I put my hand on the hand that he held the gear shift with. “He wouldn’t lie,” I said. “He gave me your phone and asked me to keep you away from Gong Yoo. He threatened me with the police if you didn’t call him,” said Zico. “Then let me call him,” I said. “Did you hit your head while I was gone?” he asked. “Funny! What harm could it do? I’ll tell him I’m okay, and put his mind at ease,” I said. Zico pulled into a parking space and turned off the car. He turned in his seat to face me. “I don’t want his mind at ease. I want him to be as crazy as I was when they kept you from me. I want them to think about why I had to rescue you from them. I’m also pretty sure that he’s either using this phone’s gps, which I disabled before I came home, or he’s put a gps chip in it. That’s why it’s not going back to the apartment with us. I shouldn’t have taken it before. I’m pretty sure he’s just using the phone’s gps though.” “I don’t want you to get into trouble,” I said. “Let him call the cops,” he said. “They can’t prove anything. And if they do find you, are you going to have me arrested?” I shook my head. “Of course not.” “Then don’t worry bout it,” he said and smiled at me. “Now, let’s go in and see how much trouble we are in.”

He held my hand, chewed his thumbnail, and bounced his knee as we waited to see the doctor. When they called my name, he stood up to go with me. “What are you doing?” I asked him. “I’m going in too,” he said. “You don’t need to,” I said. “I’ll be okay.” He put his hand on my lower back and said, “I won’t.” They gave him funny looks when he went in the back, but in the usual Zico fashion, he ignored them. I went through all of the usual tests and a sonogram. My tummy was all tied up in knots. Zico didn’t speak. He sat to the side and chewed his thumb. I was surprised that he had a thumbnail left when the doctor finally came in. He opened the file and laid it on the table next to me to read it. “Well, I don’t know if this is good news for you or bad, but you aren’t pregnant. You do have a pretty bad cyst on one of your ovaries, however. Have you been going through a stressful time lately?” He pushed his glasses up his nose and looked at me. “Yes, I have,” I said and looked at Zico. He looked visibly relieved. I guess two babies would have been too much for him to handle, I thought. “I think that stress combined with the cyst is what has thrown off your cycle. I’m going to prescribe a medication, but I want to keep an eye on it. I want to see you back here in two weeks to see if it’s gone or if it’s going to be a problem,” he said and wrote out a prescription. “I want you to take it easy and you need to reduce that stress. Take care of yourself. I’m going to give you some vitamins too. If you start feeling any sharp pains in your side, get up to the hospital. They will call me.” He handed me the little paper and turned to Zico. “How is Alicia?” I looked at Zico in surprise. How does he know Alicia??? Zico looked at me too. I could tell he didn’t want me to know what the doctor was talking about. He answered the doctor in Korean so the doctor switched to that language too. The doctor went over to talk quietly across the room. Then he left, and Zico looked at me. He was smacking one of his hands nervously into the other. “He’s coming back,” he said. I nodded. “What is that all about?” “I’m not sure,” he said. “How does he know Alicia?” I asked. He held up one finger. “Just wait. We’ll talk in the car.” I kept my peace, but only because we were in a doctor’s office. The doctor came back in and handed Zico an envelope. Zico looked in it and in English asked, “What is this? The doctor looked around at me and then back to Zico. “I can’t lie anymore. I don’t know why I took the money. I’m not that kind of person. I promise. The guilt has been killing me,” he said and pushed his glasses up again. “What is this for?” asked Zico. Please hold your tempter, Zico, I thought. “I let Miss Wright bribe me to lie in her chart,” he said. “About what?” asked Zico. His anger was building. I could see it in his eyes. “She promised to send me a thousand every month if I would say that her pregnancy test was positive. She said that her home test was positive and that you would be devastated if I told you that she had lost the baby. But she didn’t. She was never pregnant. I checked. She said that it would give her enough time to become pregnant again, and maybe you would never know that the other baby was gone. Even though I knew it was never there. She’s very good at making you want to help her. When she left though, I started feeling guilty. When I found out that you were here, I knew I had to tell you the truth. Please give Miss Wright her money back and tell her that I’m sorry, but I can’t be her doctor anymore. I’m sorry to you too. I know that you wanted that baby very much, but it should be a little comforting to know that it never existed. She didn’t lose your child.” Zico looked at the money, then at the doctor, then at me. He did that three times. Then in a burst of energy, he hugged the doctor and kissed his cheek. “You don’t have to be sorry. Thank you for this! She lied to you. I was devastated that she was pregnant! Not because she wasn’t! You have given me the greatest gift ever today!” He hugged him again. The doctor didn’t know what was going on. He had a confused scared look on his face. He looked at me and shrugged. Zico came over and grabbed my hand. “Thanks again, Doc! I’ll be sure to tell Alicia that she doesn’t owe you anything, and I’ll take good care of this one.” He kissed my cheek and then pulled me out the door. He all but skipped to the car. I hadn’t seen him this happy in forever. I had to admit that my heart was full of many emotions, but the main one was intense happiness. I knew she lied! She had to be faking it! Now Zico can truly be mine. When we got to the car, Zico pushed me up against the car and all but consumed me in a long heart-melting kiss. He pulled away, out of breath, and said, “You know what this means?” “What?” I said expectantly. “I’m free! I’m free of everything! I’m sending Alicia back to America, and I never want to see her again!” He picked me up and swung me around. When he put me down, he pulled the envelope of money out of his pocket. “See this? I was going to take you shopping so that we could pick out clothes for my photo-shoot tomorrow. Now Alicia is buying most of it!” He opened my car door and helped me in the car. I was still in shock. I think I just won the lottery!

His driving was even worse now, and he was talking a mile a minute. It was like he was let out of prison, and maybe he felt that way. “I can’t believe that Bitch lied to me!” he said. “I don’t know how she thought she was going to pull that one off! We weren’t even sleeping together. Did she think I wasn’t going to notice? Was she going to fake a miscarriage after we were married? Did she think I would stay with her after that? I can’t believe I ever thought I loved her.” “I don’t have to feel guilty for punching her in the stomach anymore either,” I said. “Oh. My. God!” he said. “I couldn’t believe you did that! I never told you how proud I was of you! That was so BAD ASS!” he said excitedly. “Well, thank you,” I said. “I was really mad. I knew she was faking a suicide attempt to manipulate you into staying.” “It was so great. I knew she was faking too, but I never saw that coming,” he said. I looked over at Zico and rubbed his arm. “I’m really sorry she did you that way,” I said. “I’m sorry I let her come between us,” he said. “I was such an idiot! I knew it from the beginning too, but I didn’t know how to fix it. Now things can go back to the way they were supposed to be.” I played with the pink pearl on my bracelet. “Can they?” I asked. He looked at my hands. “What do you mean? Of course they can. You want that don’t you?” “I do. But it’s not fair for me to keep jerking Ji-Yong around that way. I sort of committed myself to him when I thought that you were going to marry Alicia. I can’t use him that way.” “Are you saying that you are going back to him?” asked Zico. “No. I’m just saying that it isn’t right. What kind of person would I be?” I asked. Zico parked by the sidewalk. “He didn’t seem that hurt at the coffee shop,” he said. “I’m just being honest. I know that when they kept you away from me, I wasn’t out having coffee with some other chick. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but I want you to see the options clearly. Think about the way he treats you. Really think about it. He took you to a lot of parties where you got high. I even made love to you at one and he didn’t notice. He let’s you stay with his best friend knowing that you are sleeping in his bed. He never even took you to his place. It doesn’t seem that deep with him to me.” “Wait! How do you know that we never went to his apartment?” I asked. “I know things,” he said. His little spying body guards! “What is this?” he asked and picked up the pearl on my bracelet. “Ji-Yong got that for me. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that you gave me the bracelet,” I said. “I see,” he said. “All of the things that you said are true. But, Zico, he’s not you. He doesn’t try to control my every move or tell me what I can and can’t do. He didn’t LET me do any of those things. I did them and he honored my choices. We had a different kind of relationship,” I said. “I don’t want to control you. I want to keep you safe. You don’t know the danger you are in, but I do. I see all of the death threats. You don’t make great decisions. You let your emotions lead you, and that’s one thing I love about you, but it also gets you into trouble. For example,” he said. “You thought you were safe at that last party. Then there was Gong Yoo who took advantage of that. You were lucky that Ji-Yong was sober enough to stop that before it went too far, but what if he hadn’t been. I’m pretty sure that Yoo would have had sex with you in that pool. If I had been there, that never would have happened. Ji-Yong doesn’t know you like I do. I think he cares for you, but he doesn’t love you. What you see as controlling you is my way of taking care of you.” Nodding I said, “I know that. None of it changes the fact that using him because I couldn’t have you was wrong. He’s going to get hurt, and it’s my fault.” “I don’t think he’s going to get that hurt,” said Zico. “I hope you’re right,” I said. “I’ll just keep you locked up until he marries someone else,” he said. I laughed. “Zico! You will not.” He wasn’t laughing. “Watch me,” he said.”I’m not losing you again.” I wanted to change the subject so I asked, “Well, what kind of clothes are we looking for? What is the theme of your photo-shoot?” “One set is sponsored, but the other two are set by the magazine. One set is pastel and the other is hip-hop street,” he said. “Those are broad,” I said. “But I’m sure we can find something.” “Let’s hit it,” he said and got out of the car.

We found a swirling clock t-shirt and loose black and brown cargo pants with pockets and straps for the street set. I am pairing it with a long bomber coat covered in graffiti. The pastel set was harder. I didn’t know if it was casual or formal. They just said pastel. I went with casual formal. We bought a chunky mint green cable knit sweater with a pastel blue long sleeve polo shirt underneath. I found a pair of tight white linen pants that cupped his backside perfectly. I kept that little tidbit to myself. I picked up a white ribbed tank undershirt on a whim. Maybe they will use it. Maybe not. I know I’ll enjoy it on him later. I talked Zico into taking me to see Marco. It helped that he was in such a good mood. Marco had been doing a little physical therapy, and he was already looking much better. He still couldn’t remember anything, but it was okay with me if he never did. I was afraid that the memory of it would hurt him. He took his bears with him to therapy everyday. “Don’t you get strange looks?” I asked him. “They like them,” he said. “They are all princesses and they say she the Queen.” He pointed at the Elizabeth bear. I squeezed his hand. “That’s right, Marco! Don’t you forget it.” We laughed. Zico sat and watched us talking. I could see him shake his head sometimes out of the corner of my eye. He would never understand how I had made such a close connection to my big scary body guard that couldn’t speak English very well. That was because he couldn’t see the real person beyond the muscles and the gun. Marco had a tender heart. I was sure that he only got into his job because he was such a giant. “What is your favorite part about therapy?” I asked him. He thought for a minute. He looked over at Zico, and then behind his hand, he whispered, “The princesses. They are very pretty.” He grinned a big toothy grin and his gold tooth sparkled. I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t, and I burst out laughing. I told him, “You don’t have to whisper. Zico likes pretty girls too.” He looked at Zico again. “But he doesn’t know that I do,” he said. I pressed my lips together. “Of course you do,” said Zico. “What’s not to like? What part do you like best?” I rolled my eyes at him. Marco looked at me now. Behind his hand, he whispered to Zico, “When they bend over.” I put my hands over my mouth and died laughing. “Mine too!” said Zico. I was so glad he was trying to relate to Marco as a person and not just an employee. I looked from him to Marco, and I realized that these people were my family. I had come to Korea looking for a job, and I had found my whole world. It included Ji-Yong and Seung-hyun and even Jong. I loved all of them. I had an American family that I loved very much, but I didn’t have much of a life in America. I was alone most of the time. I had expected to come here and do my job for three months and then go back home to business as usual. Then Zico happened, and I thank God that he did. “Alright, you perverts! Ya’ll can talk about girls when I’m not here,” I said. “I like when you bend over too,” said Zico and winked at me. “I NEVER looked at you like that Miss Elizabeth!” said Marco emphatically. “I promise!” “I know that Marco,” I said. “You and I are like brother and sister.” We talked for a while longer, and Zico even joined in sometimes. Then we had to go.

In the car my stomach started growling out loud. “I guess that’s your way of saying you want to go eat,” said Zico. “You are very observant, Sir,” I said. “Oh! I like it when you call me Sir,” he said. I ran the back of my hand down his cheek softly. “Don’t get used to it,” I said. “You are such a saucy young lady!” he said. “I am many things. Sir,” I said. He smiled and pulled into the restaurant parking lot. It seemed to be busy for dinner, but Zico insisted that we had to have spaghetti and it had to be from this restaurant. We went in and were seated immediately, in spite of the fact that it looked like several people were waiting. There’s that privilege again, I thought. Our table was in a quiet corner, but it was still loud. There was a party going on in a separate room. “Why did you insist we eat here?” I asked Zico. He was looking at the menu. I didn’t bother because he would order for me anyway. Without looking up he said, “You will see. I’m craving carbs, and no one makes pasta like Chef Pan.” I watched people come in and join the party. I didn’t tell Zico when Daesung came in with a gorgeous woman on his arm. Close behind him was Young-bae. He also brought a lady with him. The waiter came over and Zico ordered in Korean. I was still watching the door. The next time it opened, my stomach dropped, and I felt sick. Ji-Yong came in, and he too had a beautiful Korean girl with him. They were dressed formally. I didn’t know what kind of function they had been to or were getting ready to go to. I didn’t feel much like eating anymore. Zico was right. He didn’t care. I really was just a doll for them to play with. Don’t worry, Zico, I thought. I was an idiot too. Unfortunately, they sat Ji-Yong right where I could see him through the door. I tried my best to ignore him, but it was very hard to do. Zico had to repeat things several times because my attention had been elsewhere. It wasn’t the fact that he was here with another woman. I mean, I was here with Zico and I was happy about it, but it came down to the fact that he had been lying to me. But why? I watched him lean over and smile as she whispered something in his ear. Then he threw his head back as he laughed. I guess I don’t have to worry about hurting him, I thought. I don’t think it’s going to matter if I ever talk to him again. He seems perfectly happy. “Elizabeth?” said Zico. I snapped out of my thoughts. “Yeah! What? I’m sorry. My mind was somewhere else,” I said. “I asked if you were going to eat. Would you like something else?” he asked. “Um… no. This is great.” I twirled my fork in the spaghetti and took a bite. After I chewed a couple of times, I realized that it actually was the best spaghetti I had ever had. “Mmm…dis is dewishous,” I said with my mouth full. “Didn’t I tell you?” asked Zico. I nodded and stuffed another bite into my mouth. That’s when I remembered what Ji-Yong had said about liking to watch me eat. I looked down at the huge plate of spaghetti, and all of a sudden I felt really bad about myself. I could see my little fat roll sticking out, and then I looked at the girl that sat beside Ji-Yong. She was stick thin, and was delicately eating what looked like a tomato with her chopsticks. They were still laughing. I put my fork down. I felt sick. I finished the bite that I had and then I only ate the spaghetti by strands. “Zico?” I said. “Hm?” he was still filling his mouth to the limit. “Do you think I’m fat?” I asked. He stopped chewing and looked up at me. “What?” “I think I eat too much,” I said. He looked confused. After he swallowed, he said, “Elizabeth, you are perfect. I love that you actually eat. Most girls that I dated wasted the food I bought them. And you know that I find you sexy as hell. When I look at you, I feel twinges in my body that I have never felt for anyone else. Where did this come from all of a sudden?” I shrugged. I wanted to believe him. I looked at her and she was sipping water with lemon. “I need to visit the ladies room,” I said. He grabbed my hand as I stood up. “Are you okay? Did something happen that I don’t know about?” I smiled and patted his hand. “I’m okay.” In the bathroom, I pulled up my shirt and looked at my chubby belly. How am I supposed to compete with these girls that starve and dance all day? Is Zico going to find a cute, tiny Korean girl one day and decide he’s tired of my flabby body? I have to do better. I decided then and there that I was going to get in shape. I finished in the bathroom, and when I opened the door, I came face to face with a huge problem. Literally face to face. I ran into Ji-Yong, and stepped on his foot. He was standing right outside of the bathroom door with Seung-hyun. “Ji-Yong?” It was all I could manage before he grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway the wrong way. Neither of them said a word. I looked back at Seung-hyun and he looked more serious than I had ever seen him. I tried to pull my arm out of Ji-Yong’s grasp, but he squeezed harder, hurting me. “What is going on?” I asked. “Where are we going?” They wouldn’t answer me. Ji-Yong opened a door that led outside. “Stop Ji-Yong! Let me go!” There was a limo in the alley. The door was already open, and Ji-Yong shoved me into the car. He wasn’t being easy either. I was beginning to panic. Savannah was already in the car and Seung-hyun got in on the other side. “I’m sorry,” said Ji-Yong. He was out of breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I had to hurry. I’ll see you in a little while.” He shut the door and the car started to move. “Seung-hyun! What in the hell is going on?” I sounded angrier than I meant to, but I WAS angry! “I’m taking you home,” he said. “You don’t even know where I live,” I said. “MY home,” he said. “WHY? Where is Zico?” He looked at Savannah, and she gave me a pitying look. It pissed me off. “He’s probably talking to the police right about now,” he said. “WHAT? WHY?” I knew I was yelling, but I didn’t care. “Because he kidnapped you, Elizabeth. He came into MY house, and literally took you away. He wouldn’t let us talk to you. We couldn’t find you anywhere. When I saw you at the restaurant tonight, I was stunned,” said Seung-hyun. “He wasn’t hurting me,” I said. “I don’t care,” he said. “He can’t come into someones house, and take people against their will.” It was the last straw. I couldn’t take anymore. I started to cry and the more I cried, the harder the sobs became. Savannah moved over to sit beside me. She put her arms around me, and I leaned into her shoulder and continued to cry. She rubbed my head as if I was a child. It felt good to have the comfort of another woman, even if she was a stranger. It wasn’t long before we pulled up to Seung-hyun’s house. He got out first, and came around to open my door. I jerked my hand away from him when he tried to help me out. I was furious. All of this was ridiculous. Even Zico. What it came down to was two men fighting over territory. It wasn’t really about me. They were equally matched and they couldn’t stand it. They were both too big to occupy the same space. Two dragons fighting over the same mountain top. I walked behind Seung-hyun into the house. There was an American man standing just inside the door. He was dressed in a suit so I knew he wasn’t staff. “Elizabeth, this is Mr. Max Lewinsky,” Seung-hyun said. The man held out his hand for me to shake. I took it begrudgingly. He had very soft hands. My mother used to say that a man with soft hands had never done a days work in his life. Most work was a little different in her day I had to admit, but I still always noticed it. In my pissed off state, I was in no mood to put up with yet another man’s bullshit. “Hello,” he said as I shook his hand. Oh. I was wrong. He’s British. “Mr. Lewinsky is going to stay with you while I’m out. I would stay, but it’s a work thing and I can’t get out of it,” said Seung-hyun. He gave me a stern look. “DON’T give him a hard time! He’s a nice man, and he is doing me a favor.” I gave Seung-hyun a stern look right back. “I don’t care about your favors at the moment!” “We will talk when I get home. Be good! I mean it, little one!” With that, he left without giving me a chance to retort. I looked at Mr. Lewinsky. “You aren’t going to be another body guard asshole are you?” I asked. I didn’t feel like being polite. He shook his head with a little laugh. “No. I’m not a body guard nor an asshole. I do have this spiffy gun though,” he said as he pulled his jacket back to show it to me. “It makes me look bad ass doesn’t it?” He raised one eyebrow and stuck his tongue in his cheek. I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or if he was trying to be funny. It made me laugh, even as angry as I was. “Are you threatening me?” I asked. He reached out for my shoulder. “Oh God, no. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I was kidding,” he said. I laughed more at his distress. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t mean to be impolite. I’m mad at them, not you.” “It’s okay,” he said. “Seung-hyun said that you weren’t going to be happy when you got here.” He has such a cute accent, I thought. It’s kinda sexy. Max Lewinsky was a good looking man. He had kind blue eyes and a sweet smile. He wasn’t much taller than me, had a nice neat goatee, and a few tiny freckles that ran right over the bridge of his nose. His dark hair was tousled instead of being neatly combed. It made him seem more approachable. “Are you hungry, Mr. Lewinsky?” I asked. I was still hungry since I didn’t eat much at the restaurant. “Please, call me Max,” he said. “I could eat.” I turned to go to the kitchen. “Let’s see what that asshole has in his fridge,” I said. He laughed and followed me.

I didn’t know how to cook most of the things that Seung-hyun had in his fridge, so I made ramyeon. I didn’t know how to spruce it up like the Koreans do so we ate just the noodles in broth. While we waited for it to cook, I told him a story. “My Dad first introduced me to ramyeon,” I told him. “Oh? Was your Dad Korean? You don’t look like you have Korean blood,” he said and sipped on a bottle of Soju. I stirred the noodles. “No. He was stationed in Korea. Only, he pronounced it like Rom-knee. So, until I came here, that’s what I always called it. I still do sometimes.” “That’s cute,” he said. “Did you ever correct your Dad?” “No. My Dad died before I came here. I wouldn’t have anyway. I loved that he called it that,” I said and portioned out the soup. He sat up. “Oh. I’m sorry,” he said. “Thanks. I miss him a lot,” I said. I sat on a stool across from him at the kitchen island. “I lost my Dad too. Last year. He was a cop, and he was shot in a pub brawl,” he told me. I rubbed the back of his hand. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful,” I said. He smiled. “It’s okay. He died a hero. I’m very proud of him,” he said. “How do you know Seung-hyun?” I asked to change the subject. He blew on his steaming noodles. “I own the security company that he employs.” “Ohhh,” I said. “That explains the gun.” He nodded and sipped his broth. “So, you are getting paid for this favor?” I asked. “In a way, I guess,” he said. “He pays a monthly bill, and I guess this could be included. It’s not a service I normally perform though.” “What service are you performing exactly?” I asked. “Babysitter?” he said. A hot noodle fell down my chin and stuck. “Ow!” I said and stuffed it in my mouth. “I don’t need a babysitter you know? You can leave if you want to.” “He said you would try to get me to leave,” he said. “He also told me that you are in a lot of danger. If I left, and something happened to you, well… I couldn’t live with that.” Damn! I batted my eyelashes a little. “Then, could you take me somewhere?” I asked. “I need to get some clothes from my place.” He grinned. “Nice try. He also said that you were a little trickster. Seung-hyun can take you to get what you need when he gets back.” “Maaaaax…” I whined. He laughed. “He wasn’t wrong about you,” he said. I pouted. I also noticed his bottle was almost empty. I went to the fridge and got him a new bottle of Soju. Yes…I was hatching a plan. “Okay, I said. I give up. What should we do now?” I asked. He stretched. “I don’t know. What would you like to do?” “Hmm,” I leaned my chin on my hand against the counter and thought. “Wanna see Seung-hyun’s play room?” He looked at me like he was trying to figure out the trick. “Alright. But what’s a play room? It’s not some kind of sex dungeon is it?” “You’ll see,” I said. I grabbed our drinks and took him upstairs. Seung-hyun’s play room had everything that you could ever imagine to play with. It even had a giant slide and a trampoline floor. We decided on something tame. “Do you know how to shoot pool?” I asked him. “Billiards?” he asked. “Yes, you Brit! Billiards,” I said. He laughed and I handed him his bottle of Soju. “Well, I could have suggested Snooker,” he said. “And I am VERY good at Billiards.” “Could you teach me how to play?” I flirted. He took off his jacket. “I guess I could show you a few things.” “You get the balls, and I’ll get the sticks,” I said. He shook his head. “I’ll rack the balls and you’ll grab the cues,” he said. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Well, you want to learn don’t you?” he asked. He rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. I gave him a cue and watched him walk around the table like he owned it. This was his element. I had a feeling that when he said he was good at this game, he was better than that. “The first thing you need to learn is how to hold a pool cue. Come over here,” he said and crooked his finger at me. I went to him, and he got behind me. “Okay, first, which is your dominant hand?” “My right,” I said. “Hold the cue right at this line with your right hand.” He wrapped his fingers around mine. He had surprisingly big hands for a short guy. “You want to hold it a little loose. Don’t grip it too tight. That’s usually most peoples mistake in Billiards. They tense up. You need to be relaxed so that you will have more control.” He moved even closer. “Now, bend over the table,” he said. I gave him a little smirk. “I don’t usually allow that until at least the third date, Mr. Lewinsky,” I said. “You cheeky little…” he said. “Bend over the table.” Damn! I think Mr. Lewinsky has a bit of a dominant side. I bent over and he leaned down too. “Now, with this hand, you want to line up your shot. Decide where you want to hit and imagine the cue ball moving in that line. The cue is an extension of that line so you can make this little white ball go anywhere that you please. She’s your bitch to command,” he said. “Mr. Lewinsky! Now who’s being cheeky?” I asked. “That’s not cheek,” he said. “That’s confidence. Now, aim your shot. Put your finger and thumb like this and lay the cue across them. With the other hand, you are going to hit her as hard as you can.” He stood up. “Don’t look at the cue ball. Look at your target. Since you are a beginner, you should hit the front ball. You want to knock at least one ball in.” I actually felt like I was in control of where the cue ball went. I pulled the cue back and struck as hard as I could. It must have been a good shot because Max gave me a broad grin. Balls went everywhere and I got three striped balls in different pockets. “That was perfect!” he said. “I think if I had enough time with you, I could turn you into a shark.” I took him his Soju, and he took a big drink. “I slept on a pool table once,” I said. “Oh really? That must have been uncomfortable,” he said and took another drink. “I don’t remember. I was drunk,” I said. He clinked my bottle with his. “Yeah, I can relate to that.” “Wanna jump on the trampoline?” I asked him. “I don’t think that would be smart with a gun on my hip,” he said. “Oh, come on. You can take that off to jump. We are the only ones here,” I said. He tilted his head as he was thinking. “I’m really not supposed to, but I guess I could for a few minutes.” “Yay!” I yelled and slipped my shoes off right there. I ran over to the section of the room where the floor turned into a trampoline. I hated to admit it, but I was actually having fun with my babysitter. I bounced a little while I waited for him to take off his shoes, then he joined me. “Now, I’m not doing any flips,” he said. “I have never been good at gymnastics.” “That’s okay,” I said. “I wasn’t either. Give me your hands.” He held my hands and we started to jump. Then, still holding hands, I jumped and then he jumped. When we got tired we sort of fell down laughing. I rolled to my side and held my head up with my hand. Max was breathing hard and his cheeks were flushed. It was a good look on him. “Will you let me do something?” He started laughing, “That depends on what you want to do,” he said and put his hand behind his head. “Let me take your shirt off. It looks uncomfortable and you have a t-shirt on underneath. Please?” He caught his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought about it. “Oh, alright,” he said. I reached over and started to unbutton his shirt. He didn’t help, and just watched my face. He wasn’t laughing anymore. It became a much more intimate moment than I had meant for it to. I really did think he would be more comfortable. Now it just seemed like I wanted to undress him. When I got to the last button, I sat up to diffuse the tension, and said, “Okay, now what?” He sat up and finished taking his shirt off, throwing it off of the trampoline. “Now, you had better be fast, because if I catch you, I’m going to tickle you until you pee.” I screamed and ran to the other side of the trampoline. He lunged for me and I barely escaped while he bounced off of the netting. Damn! He means business, I thought. He chased me around the trampoline until finally, I messed up and fell. He jumped on top of me, straddled me around my middle and proceeded to tickle me while I screamed in laughter. After a few minutes, he had mercy on me and stopped, falling on top of me while we both laughed and laughed. When he rolled to the side, I sat up in shock to see both Seung-hyun and Ji-Yong watching us. Seung-hyun was swinging Max’s shirt back and forth on one finger. Neither of them looked very happy. Especially Ji-Yong. That’s when Max saw them too and sat up beside me. “Elizabeth,” said Seung-hyun. “I had heard about how you turn your body guards into playthings, but I didn’t really understand what they meant until now.” “Well, you did tell me to keep a close eye on her,” said Max. “You said not to let her out of my sight and here she is. She’s safe and sound.” “You know, Max, I can’t even be angry with you. Elizabeth has some kind of weird effect on people. At least she didn’t trick you into letting her go. Can we please all get dressed, and go downstairs to talk?” Seung-hyun threw Max’s shirt at him, turned, and walked out of the room. Ji-Yong was still leaning against the wall looking at me. Max helped me up. When I got to where Ji-Yong stood, he grabbed my head and looked closely at my eyes. “I was hoping that you were drunk,” he said. “Why?” I asked. I didn’t understand. “Because that would explain what I just saw. Now I can only make assumptions,” he said. I jerked away from him. “Oh really? This coming from a man that spent the evening flirting with and fawning all over another woman.” Max left the room. “She was a work colleague,” he said. “We were working.” “Yeah. It sure looked like you were working hard,” I said. “At least we weren’t half naked rolling around on a trampoline,” he said. “We were just playing, Ji-Yong. It was innocent…” I started to say. Ji-Yong pulled me into a tight hug. “I’ve been so worried about you. I can’t believe that bastard had the balls to come in here and take you right out of my arms. That will NEVER happen again! He is never getting close to you again.” “Ji-Yong…he wasn’t trying to hurt me. He thought he was saving me,” I said. “He kidnapped you. He held you somewhere that no one could find you. I had no idea how to get to you. I gave him your phone in hopes that he would actually give it to you, but I guess he didn’t did he?” “He told me that he saw you, but no, he wouldn’t give me the phone,” I said. “His ass is staying the night in jail tonight, and a lot longer if I get my way,” said Ji-Yong. I was so tired. I was tired of all of this. Without another word, I turned and went downstairs. He followed me, trying to get me to talk to him, but I was done talking. Someone was either lying to me or manipulating me, or something, and I was done. He grabbed my wrist, and I pulled it from his grasp. “Stop. Please just stop, Ji-Yong. Leave me alone.” I left him standing there looking crestfallen. I found Seung-hyun and Max in one of the downstairs sitting rooms. Seung-hyun stood and started to speak. “Elizabeth…” I put up a hand to stop him. “I’m done. I’m done with all of this. I have been pushed and shoved and manipulated and I can’t take anymore. You two tell me one thing. Zico tells me another. No one cares what this is doing to me. My mind is so confused. I need a break. So, please. PLEASE! Give me some money, and get one of your cars to take me to a hotel. I need to be by myself. I can pay you back as soon as I can get into my bank account. Please do this for me,” I said. By the time I was done I was on the verge of tears. His voice was soft. “Elizabeth, this is a very big house. You can be completely alone here if you want. You can have an entire wing if you would like.” I shook my head. “No. It’s not the same. Please do this for me, Seung-hyun.” He stared down at his clasped hands for a moment. Max didn’t say anything and Ji-Yong listened from the doorway. “It scares me, but I can do that for you,” he said. “Which hotel do you want to go to? I’ll call and reserve you a room.” “The Intercontinental should be fine,” I said. “No!” said Ji-Yong from behind me. “You can’t go there and stay alone!” I swung on him. “I can, Ji-Yong. I can’t stay here. I need to get away from the craziness for a while. I’ll be fine.” Seung-hyun hung up his phone. “They have a room waiting. My driver will take you whenever you want to go,” he said. He pulled out his money clip and flipped through bills. “Here. You don’t have to pay me back.” I took the money and noticed that they were all big bills. I wasn’t great with the money conversion, but I knew he had given me several hundred dollars. “I don’t need this much,” I said. I tried to hand some of the money back to him, but he refused it. “I’m really sorry,” I said. “I’m not trying to be a bitch. I’ve just reached my limit of crazy for awhile. Please forgive me.” I turned to leave, but Ji-Yong wouldn’t move. He just stared down at me with a look on his face that I couldn’t read. “Ji-Yong,” said Seung-hyun. “Let her leave. She’ll be okay.” He turned to the side and I was almost afraid he was going to grab me when I passed him, but he didn’t. Seung-hyun’s car was waiting outside the door. The driver held the door for me, and when I was in the car, he put up the privacy window for me. Finally, I thought. I laid my head back on the seat and cried some more.

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