#working FOR one of these companies at all is like. not super ethical actually

[carnageacorn]

ive been renting in portland for a very long time but this time is the time that has Radicalized me past the point of being polite i guess.

[secondhand-snow]

a body of impulses

chapter 4: staining the future

lukas matsson x f!roy reader (succession)

★chapter 3★

wc: 8.6k+

warnings: super dysfunctional family, roman roy as his own warning, mention of phone sex, manipulation, praise, no use of y/n

summary: The fall back to the real world after your time spent with Lukas hits you hard. But your family hits you harder, and they hit to kill.

author's note: snow writes a fic without graphic smut?!? insanity. please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging if you enjoyed!

Logan’s birthday is… Logan’s birthday. The day is always celebratory, and always ends in trouble. Chaos tends to be inevitable when your family is together, like two comets on a collision course, helpless to stop the impending crash. Even intimate get-togethers are no exception. You were fully prepared for this, readying your mediating skills and considering any possible issues that could come up at the event. Until, your siblings inform you that they will not be attending. On one hand, it’s a shock. Missing something as important as your father’s birthday because of a fight seems unreasonable, especially when you were so sure you would see them in person again. On the other hand, the lack of their presences could avoid the conflict you were expecting. Either way, your focus shifted from getting ready to stop blow out fights to preparing to answer nosy questions on the whereabouts of your family. 

It was nice to talk to your siblings after weeks of no contact. The discussions you had were usually meager, straight and to the point. But all the same, it gave you some sense of normalcy in your vastly changing life. That and the less you spoke to them, the less you had to lie to them about what you were up to. Between Lukas and work, it felt like you could barely get out a sentence without potentially compromising an immense secret. You’d gotten uncomfortably close to disclosing your relationship a couple times, both with Roman, both due to your increasingly frequent trips to Sweden. Luckily, you’d been trained enough in keeping the peace to brush over the details of your life and get him to talk about himself, the suspicion leaving his mind almost instantly.

In addition to rekindling your relationship with your siblings, a strange sort of friendship was beginning to form between yourself and Tom. You were the only two in the immediate family that hadn’t jumped ship yet, well, besides Greg. Since he wasn’t really speaking to Shiv, and Roman and Kendall would rather die than see his face, you were the only one Tom could go to for a genuine conversation. Unless he wanted to talk to Gerri, Karl or Frank, but Tom preferred speaking to someone who wasn’t at least 20 years older than himself. Because of this, the two of you began bonding in a way you hadn’t had the chance to before. When Roman wasn’t making crass jokes over your shoulder, influencing your opinion with his humor, Tom wasn’t actually that bad. 

He was more down to Earth than your siblings. He had grown up rich, but not your kind of rich, and it gave him a sort of level headedness that you didn’t see often. His jokes were pretty funny, and his midwest accent gave his speech a natural formality that was strangely captivating. You liked talking to Tom, you even began to see him as a friend during the months after the GoJo deal began. Not only was he sociable, he was actually good at what he did. You’d always thought that he got his position through his relationship with Shiv, though when you began working with him on the GoJo deal you saw that his work ethic had a genuine quality to it. He could be a little brutal at times and looked out for himself before others, but who wasn’t in this business. By the time Logan’s party came up you found yourself honestly enjoying his company.

When you arrive at Logan’s penthouse, the party has already begun. There’s a good crowd of people mingling, mostly executives from Waystar’s corporate world and old business associates of your Dad’s. You’re happy to see Colin, who you greet with a friendly smile, and annoyed to see Kerry, who you give a tight lipped grin. Your dad is at least somewhat happy to see you, giving you the rare hug in welcome. 

Buying gifts for a man that has everything is incredibly difficult, and after the watch situation from last year, you were even more terrified of Logan’s reaction to your present. You had settled on purchasing him a Navy medal of honor from WWI to add to his collection and wrapped it weeks in advance, trying to push the worry from your mind for as long as possible. As he opens the present now, his reception is better than you hoped for. Your dad offers you a small thanks and notes that he will add it to one of his display cases later. Internally you doubt that he will, but at least he was kind to you publicly. With another quick hug and a promise to see him again in a bit, you enter the throng of people once more and begin looking for a drink.

It’s really only natural that you gravitate to Tom, joining his side with a glass of champagne as soon as you spot him in the mass of suits. He cracks a few jokes, makes a few comments on work, but mostly you just stand together and look engaged in conversation, successfully deterring any onlookers from bothering you to ask prying questions. You make frequent trips to the bathroom. Not to actually use the toilet, but to answer your messages from Lukas. It was too much of a chance to open his texts around others at the party, since so many of them knew him well. He knows your at Logan’s birthday, he even considered attending himself before getting too busy with work. His goofy texts brighten up the otherwise dull day, giving you something to look forward to and keeping you awake amongst the bland chatting you’re obligated to engage in.

It’s after one of these trips to the bathroom that the first sign of discord begins to creep into the party. It starts with Cousin Greg, who’s chattering incessantly in Tom’s ear as you approach the pair. 

“-I’m kidding, I really do like her.” You seamlessly attach yourself to the conversation as you join them, keeping pace as you begin to walk from room to room.

“Like who? The blonde teeny bopper you brought?” 

“Yeah!”

“What, did you meet her on Raya or something?” You get a small laugh from Tom at that, the three of you pausing your stroll for a moment.

“She’s used all the display towels in the bathroom and now they’re sopping wet, she’s gabbling about herself and posting on social media.” Greg scoffs a bit at Tom’s critique, looking around to be sure the blonde was nowhere nearby. “She’s asking people personal questions- and she’s wolfing all the canapes like a famished warthog!”

“People are overreacting, okay? She brought a normal kind of handbag!” 

“Greg, the massive purse is one thing. Posting pictures of the inside of my father’s house on Instagram is actually incredibly invasive. She’s basically a security risk at this point.”

“You are a laughing stock of polite society.” As Tom chimes in, the unmistakable face of Greg’s date begins to approach you, a look of concern on her face. Tom whispers as he finishes his comment. “You’ll never go to the opera again.”

“Maybe- we should go?” The woman’s voice has a twinge of vocal fry, her hand holding her phone protectively close to her body.

“Oh are you okay? What, uh, what happened?” Greg stoops from his normal towering stance to direct his quiet tone towards his date.

“Nothing! I just asked Logan for a selfie.” 

“You asked my dad for a selfie?” You can’t help the small laugh of disbelief that leaves your mouth at her confession.

“Yeah- oh! You’re- uh…” The woman is at least socially conscious enough to realize her mistake in not addressing you, an awkward smile coming to her face as she continues. “I said ‘Congrats on the big deal.’ I was like, ‘Ker-ching, am I right?’ I was being funny!”

“...That is hilarious.” 

It’s a little while later when things start to get worse. Logan had disappeared with Colin a couple of hours ago, and was now ignoring calls as his executives tried to contact him. Additionally, Kerry had come to you and asked you to talk to your siblings, to get them to text or call Dad for his birthday. You gave her the same strained response you’d had to repeat so many times in the past few months, “My siblings are capable of making their own decisions.” Despite this, you did text them to let them know of Kerry’s request. They left the message on read. It’s you who’s finally able to get through to Logan, letting him know that there was some trouble with the Pierce deal. He arrived back at the penthouse only a bit after you contacted him, immediately stopping the party and kicking out the crowd. 

And so, on a day that was supposed to be calm, work-free, and relaxing, you ended up gathered in Logan’s home office with the tension rising rapidly. It’s concerning how quickly the group is able to find out that it’s your siblings who are the rival bidders. It’s more concerning how upset Logan is when he finds out. He swears. More than usual. He yells at both you and Tom, telling the pair of you to call Shiv and tell her to get her own idea. To your credit, you do call her, but you go straight to voicemail. 

You’re helpless in the situation, in a sort of trance of dissociation as chaos unfolds around you. You barely even perk up during Logan’s “roasting” rampage, refusing to cause a spectacle for your dad’s amusement. Unfortunately, Greg doesn’t have the same foresight as you. What snaps you out of the haze is when Tom finally gets through to your sister. The two of you huddle around his iPhone in the corner of the room, trying to maintain some sense of privacy as speakerphone causes your conversation to echo around the office.

“Hey, Shiv” Tom’s is clearly stressed, an unnatural lilt in his voice as he speaks.

“Hi?”

“Hey. Tom!” So Kendall’s with her.

“Fuck you, man mountain!” And the voice of Roman solidifies your siblings' involvement in buying Pierce. An inaudible sigh leaves your mouth as the worst is confirmed.

“Hey, look, so… we were just wondering if we’re not being- uh, played a little here. Since this is all indicative.” 

“Okay, well, what did he go up to?” Shiv’s tone is simultaneously annoyed and eager.

“Well, we can’t tell you that.”

“He didn't go to nine, did he?” 

“Well, we were just wondering, you know, all things being equal, the asset does have a price. And it would be- it would be crazy to add an emotional… uh, premium here.” Tom is beginning to scramble, his demeanor becoming frantic as he searches for some kind of tactic to convince your siblings. “So, should we be looking for a back door on this?”

“What's Dad's ceiling?” Shiv asks the question like she already knows the answer. You wonder if she really does.

“Well, what's your ceiling?”

“Why don't you go first, Tommy? Build that trust, brah!” Kendall’s tone is surprisingly happy, like he’s high either on coke or on the thrill of bidding. 

“Well, his ceiling is-- is... Uh, well, I... Your dad is just–”

“It’s higher than yours, I can guarantee that.” You cut in for the first time, saving Tom from his own bumbling.

“Oh hi baby sister! Decided to join the rebellion yet?” Roman stretches out the nickname, whining in a way he knows you hate, trying to rile you up to their level.

“Do you even have the financing for this? Or are you pooling together all your lunch money just to piss off Dad?” Maybe it’s the fact that you’re over the phone, maybe it’s how stressed out this situation has you, but you find yourself bolder than normal. For once, you’re going head to head with your sibling’s wit without backing down.

“We’re not doing this just to piss off Dad.” Shiv deadpans, interjecting before Roman can get another word in.

“Right because you have such a genuine interest in a left leaning, family based news conglomerate that’s a direct competitor to ATN.” Your normally soft and regulated tone has a sharp edge to it, cutting through your family’s bullshit like butter. “What happened to the media company you were starting, you seemed so excited about that? The hundred, or something?”

“It’s still news and media, it's just-  just starting from nothing versus, like, starting from an already established network.” Kendall speaks next, you can hear his chair vaguely creaking as he sits forward to direct his voice into the phone.

“Well it’s not worth it, what you’d gain from buying Pierce is nothing compared to the damage you’d do from fucking this deal. You know that.” You take a breath before finishing your piece, voice softer as you attempt to appeal to your family’s empathy. “Right now, you can still come back from this. Things… aren’t too broken, yet. We can fix them. If you go through with this, I don’t know if that will still be true.”

There’s a long pause before Shiv speaks again. “Our ceiling is 12.”

“Fuck off!” Tom can’t contain his shock at the statement. You tilt your head back, shaking it in disbelief with your eyes on the ceiling. “Yeah, well, our’s too. Okay?”

“Okay!” 

There’s a familiar beep as the call ends. You don’t look at anyone’s faces as you reclaim your seat on the couch. You barely speak for the rest of the night. You don’t flinch when your siblings win Pierce, don’t look up when your dad screams at them through the phone, don’t say goodbye to anyone as you leave. Your resolve only crumbles in private.

That night, you call Lukas. He answers on the first ring, smiling into the camera as you greet him on Facetime. You can’t say much about the business that went down today, but he knows you well enough to fill in the blanks. Lukas has listened to you vent about your family so much, and everytime he consoles you like nobody else. He remembers past issues, connects them, brings them up to understand the context better. He frowns when you cry, he tries to make you laugh when you’re mad. He’s single handedly crushing your apprehensions on the relationship one night at a time. 

You feel refreshed in the morning, maybe you cried all the angst out of your bloodstream. There’s already a text from your boyfriend making sure you're okay, asking you to text him updates about your day. It’s one of the rare occasions that you won’t be in the office. Instead you’ll be at Connor’s wedding rehearsal, doing just as much work, only with your family instead of the company. Inside, you’re dreading the event. It’s awful, just 24 hours ago you were excited to see your siblings in person. You’d been prepared to hug and smile and laugh. Now, you weren’t sure if they’d even come. And worse, you had no clue how they’d react to your presence if they did attend.

Nevertheless, you persist. You treat the rehearsal like a work event you really don’t want to go to, practicing fake smiles in the mirror as you do your makeup, donning your best cocktail dress, and pushing through the anxiety rushing in your veins. The actual rehearsal is mostly uneventful, your siblings missing from attendance. Of course, it’s incredibly awkward. Willa clearly did not want to be there, tears welling in her eyes every five seconds. Connor absolutely knew this, trying to make up for it with overt public displays of affection. At one point you swear she’s gonna call it off. Instead, she runs off to the bathroom with her bridesmaids for half an hour before returning like nothing was wrong. By the time it’s over and Willa is rushing out the door, you’ve settled into a round table at the restaurant with Connor. You’re expecting to be consoling him for the rest of the night. 

It’s just your luck that your family arrives less than five minutes later.

“Finally!” Connor’s sudden interruption in your small talk makes your head whip around, your eyes landing on the trio approaching you. You set down your champagne glass a little too hard, and plaster a polite smile on your face as they near.

“Found him!” Roman is the first to approach his demeanor casual as always, eyes skipping over you to focus on Connor sitting to your right.

“Hey, hey.”

“Hey.”

“Here you are, we missed you.” You keep your voice gentle as you address them, letting Kendall give you a small pat on your shoulder in welcome.

“Hello sir, hugsie?” Rome stoops to plant a semi-authentic hug on Connor, gazing over his shoulder to give you a small look of endearment. A silent show of forgiveness you’ve gotten used to.“We’re so sorry man.”

“Yeah, dad screwed us.” Shiv reaches over you to hug your brother. She gives you a tight lipped smile to acknowledge your presence. “Hey, bro.”

“Oh look at you, the rebel alliance. How is it out in those hills? Supply lines okay? Got enough to eat?” Connor alters his voice a bit, putting on a front of normalcy for his family, even if he knows you can see right through it. Your siblings are still leaning on the table, standing noncommittally as you stay seated with your eldest brother. “This is how it is, huh? Us and Dad on one side, you guys on the other?”

Roman doesn’t answer, disregards his comment in favor of asking a competing question. “You… okay man? We saw Willa on the way in.”

“Yeah, I think it’s all fine.” Connor’s resolve slips as he responds, voice lowering to a level thick with anxiety and gloominess.

“Well…” You give a sideways glance at him before moving your gaze to the rest of your family. “When Willa stood up to do her speech, she said ‘I can’t do this.’ And then she ran to the bathroom and stayed there for forty minutes with her friends.” 

There’s a universal cringe that spreads across the table at that information.

“Oh no, no, no. That’s not-” Roman takes a seat, slouches back in his chair as he tries to assure Connor with some rambling. “That’s totally fine, don’t worry about that. Just… toss her another ten grand. -Or a snowmobile and some teeth whitening vouchers.” 

“Any luck, Sylvia?” Connor directs his message to a blonde, tanned woman holding a glass of red wine in one hand and her phone in the other. She shakes her head. “That’s Willa’s mom.” He adds under his breath before getting up to go speak with her in the corner.

“It's… fine Con.” Roman’s volume dwindles as your brother walks out of earshot. You scoot back in your chair a bit, craning your neck to look over at Connor while your siblings continue speaking.

“This is so fucking weird.”

“Okay so- do we regroup at my place?” Shiv lowers her voice as she speaks, almost like she’s telling a secret.

“Shiv. He’s, Come on- he’s lookin’ a little rough. Don’t you think?” Rome angles a thumb to your oldest brother. His voice is thick with sympathy, a rare display of emotion from him.

“Well, sure.” Shiv’s still standing, tapping her foot impatiently as her words speed up. “I’m sorry that Dad fucked us, and I’m sorry that we’re late, but we do need to decide fast… so…”

“Wait, decide on what?” Your head turns back to the group at the table, eyes settling on your sister in front of you. “And- you’re leaving? Seriously? You just got here, you can’t spend an hour with your brother? He’s clearly going through a lot!”

“Yeah, we should stay.” Kendall chimes in, giving you a small nod of agreement. “And- I mean, I think we know, right?”

“Do we, though? They made some pretty compelling arguments”

“Sandi’s a greedy little bitch. She’s got her hand up the ass of the carcass of her dad, and Stewy’s just along for the ride. It’s a- fuck it! It’s a packet of horseshit!” Roman’s speech gives you more insight into what it is they’re actually debating. There’s a thousand different reasons your siblings could be talking to Sandi and Stewy, but with your family it’s never just innocent conversation. And with Shiv’s comment about deciding fast… whatever they’re up to, it has to be affecting something in the near future.

“Okay. What if I want to talk it through?” Your sister stresses the word I, like she is the ultimate driving force in this decision. Which, to be fair, she seems to be.

“Talk what through? What’s going on- what are you three up to now?” Your head shakes slightly as you ask the question, already preparing for the worst. There’s a slight pause as your siblings look at each other, which you use to take another sip of champagne.

“Okay, still incommunicado.” Connor’s presence breaks the rising tension, and stops one of your siblings from having to answer you. “I just really hope she’s okay. So, what do you say? A little bit of karaoke?” 

“Would it be possible to do anything other than that in the entire universe?” 

“No, let’s do it! Come on, just this one time.” You give Connor a little shoulder nudge as he sits back next to you, encouraging his idea with a smile.

“Yeah, she’s partying, I can party.” There’s an air of both hopefulness and desperation around your brother.

“I mean, we can go drink, right? Little bachelor party for POTUS- SCROTUS?” It’s honestly a bit of a shock to you that Roman is so quick to comply. Then again, maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to Shiv about whatever scheme she's involving them in this time.

“Well I mean… we three kind of-” Shiv tries to step in, giving her best impression of someone regretful to decline such a kind invitation.

“Oh sure, everybody’s busy.”

“Come on. Let’s give him a drink, sis.” With Kendall’s agreement, your sister is outvoted. Connor claps in excitement. “Let’s give him a drink.”

“Yeah! But- but not your usual… stupid places. Uh… somewhere fun- and real! Away from the fancy dance.” Connor stands to tower above the table, talking with his hands as he outlines his plan for the night. “A real bar with chicks. And… guys who work with their hands and grease and sweat from their hands, and have blood in their hair.”

“I don’t like these guys. They sound like a medical experiment gone wrong.” Roman’s arms are crossed, his eyes narrowed in fake suspicion as Con takes a long drink of his red wine.

“Yeah… I don’t think we have that kind of place just engraved in our memories. Might have to Google this one.” You stand to join your brother, grabbing your clutch as your other siblings rise with you. Shiv is a bit reluctant, not moving until you all begin leaving the restaurant, then hurrying to catch up with you. So you quickly find yourself on the cold streets of NYC, walking (because Connor insisted) to the nearest dive bar you can find in a three block radius.

The bar is like something out of a movie. Like something from another planet. It’s all wood paneling and dark lighting and sticky counters. There’s old TVs mounted to the walls playing baseball and a glowing red exit sign over the door as you step in. The soundtrack is muted classic rock with the clinking of beer glasses over a constant chatter of patrons.

“Ah! America… I missed you.” Connor is immediately out of his depth, blue suit clashing horribly with the plaid flannels of the other customers.

“This is charming.” You shoot Roman a smile at his attempt of optimism, he brushes you off with an eye roll as you follow your oldest brother to the bar. 

“Okay, what’s everybody having?” Ken’s straight to business, you wouldn’t expect anything less out of him. “What do you want?”

“Uh- do you think they know how to make a vodka tonic?” 

“They can make a vodka tonic, Rome. You’ll just have to settle for Smirnoff” You give him an eyeroll of your own. It’s moments like these you feel so much more normal than your siblings, despite the fact that you’ve had such similar upbringings.

“House red? Do I dare?” Shiv’s comment gets a genuine laugh out of you, and a string of both ‘yes’s’ and ‘no’s’ from you and Roman. She chuckles before deciding, “That- just a club soda with a sealed lid. Nothing from that… tainted nozzle.”

“Con, what do you want?”

“I’ll just have whatever a regular Joe would have. Uh, Belgian Weissbier? Not Hoegaarden, ideally.” Connor’s distracted by his phone, looking down at it while speaking instead of answering Kendall’s question.

“How do you feel about Miller Light?” You get a small scoff from Shiv at that, but Con’s already too engrossed in his iPhone to pay you any mind. You drift over to Ken as he starts ordering the drinks. The background noise is loud enough that you can’t quite hear as Shiv pulls out her phone and begins speaking to Roman. It’s only a second before he moves away from her, but you catch the vague mentionings of Waystar and Sandi before the conversation is interrupted.

“Hey, can I get a, um- vodka tonic, I’ll have a bitters and soda…” Kendall orders for the group, listing out Shiv and Connor’s orders before turning to you for your drink.

“A Cosmo?” You pitch in, receiving a nod from the bartender in confirmation. You turn back to the trio of your other siblings, catching Con in the middle of a sentence.

“-Anyway I am reassured. She’s definitely not on her way to Cuba. Well, her phone isn’t.” You move closer to peak over his shoulder, seeing a little dot on a map lighting up his phone screen. “Yeah, she stopped movin’. Guess she found a spot she likes.”

“Sure…on another man’s dick.” You, Connor and Kendall look at Rome with the same exasperated expression as he speaks. “On a much bigger, nicer, harder, younger dick is all I’m saying.”

“Rome, that’s not-” Your tone is breathy with annoyance before your brother cuts you off.

“Can we not? Because you know, I’m feeling… I’m having certain anxieties, huh?” Roman mutters a string of disingenuous apologies as Connor talks over him. “I mean, I wanna have a good time!”

“Okay, all right. Let’s have fun. We can monitor her dot together.” Kendall’s nonchalance makes you cover your mouth to mute a giggle that you know would’ve ticked Con off. “Let’s- let’s get it up on the big screen.

“Why so long…” Connor points to his screen with two fingers. He reminds you of Logan trying to figure out new electronics when he doesn’t have an assistant nearby to do it for him. “Her dot is at an aquarium supply retailer. That doesn’t look safe- is that a drug thing?”

“No.” Looking behind Con’s back, you see Roman mouth ‘I love him’ across the way at you. You respond with blowing a little kiss in his direction.

“You sure?”

“I am sure.”

“It is. It’s a drug thing.” Roman moves in, working his magic to aggravate Connor in a way only a younger brother can. 

“Now she’s at a dry cleaners?” Connor runs a hand through his hair. 

“She’s probably getting her panties clean. Mussed 'em up a bit.” They’re too preoccupied with bickering to notice as Kendall waves to your drinks and departs the bar on a phone call.

You sigh as the two boys continue clashing, moving over to grab your drink from its spot on the bar. The drink is good enough. The vodka’s not very smooth and the orange peel looks like it was cut by a 5th grader, but it’s better than you expected from the shabby chic destination. When you start to hear Roman mention cum, you decide to break into the conversation.

“Hey guys. Drinks. Look.” You speak slowly, making big hand gestures like you’re talking to toddlers. It gets a scoff from Roman, but breaks up the tension enough for Connor to come over and grab his (definitely not Belgian, probably not even wheat based) beer. Shiv joins you too to grab her club soda. “How do we feel about food?”

“I could eat.” Connor is still pretty engrossed in his phone, but looks away for a few moments to sip from his glass. For what it’s worth, he doesn’t complain about the taste. 

“Shall we grab some menus?” Rome strolls over to grab his tonic, making his way to the nearest table.

“Here? Isn’t that guaranteeing food poisoning?” Shiv crosses her arms, holding her position at the bar as she glares at your brother.

“Come on Shivvy, we’re being average citizens. Remember?” You bite your lower lip in a smile, following Rome to sit at the table. Con comes with you, not even bothering to look up from his device as he just moves with the crowd. She’s out ruled, once again, and gives in to join you three. It’s only a few seconds later than Kendall joins you again, an indistinguishable look on his face. 

“Hey, what’s up? What did I miss?” His tone doesn’t give anything away, the same monotone, muttered pitch that you’re used to.

“We’re… eating! Right here!” Kendall sits in the free chair next to Roman as the younger man points animatedly to the menu in front of him. “Billy Ray Cyrus’s Kentucky Fried Shit Shack.”

“Roman, they’re gonna spit in your food if they hear you say that.” You shake your head, a small smile on your face as you turn your attention to your own laminated menu.

“Well, they seem to have some hearty fare.” Connor follows your lead, looking over the meal options himself.

“What was that shit?” You’re glad Roman asks before you do. The question is on your mind too, but it sounds less suspicious coming from your brother.

“Uh- Stewy…”

“Oh great, what the fuck now? What?”

“Well actually guys, can i- can i show you something?” Ken pulls out his phone, screen illuminating his face in the dark lighting of the bar.

“Yeah…” Shiv leans over to peek at Kendall’s phone while Roman tries to tune out the action happening before him. Instead of giving Ken the attention he’s asking for, Rome’s eyes scan the menu before he begins his interruption.

“Ooo, wings! I wonder from which particular creature they snip these wings.” He shifts the cadence of his voice, making his tone all whimsical and silly. “Perhaps a mammal…”

It’s um… on the comparables. It’s- it’s actually pretty fucking intriguing.” The information Kendall gives leaves a puzzled look on your face.

“Wait… why are you looking at the market comparables for Waystar?” You set down your menu as you make eye contact with Ken, narrowing your gaze slightly. “I thought you three were done with the company, completely into your Pierce-thing now.”

“Well, it just makes you think.” Shiv pitches in, your eyes shifting to her, brows still furrowed in question. “Maybe Dad isn’t on it like he used to be… he’s getting pushed around-”

“Fuck, she’s in the East River.” Connor’s outburst makes you whip around in his direction. You feel like a bobble head trying to even out our attention between your siblings. “She in the fucking- wait, no. She’s on the bridge, she’s headed to uh- Williamsberg.”

“Con, I love you, but there’s other shit going on.” You keep your tone gentle with him, a reassuring but slightly strained smile on your face.

“Not to be dicks but- can we do a little breakout chat? Just the three of us?” Shiv is already moving in her seat by the time the question is out of her mouth. Her eagerness makes you crinkle your nose in agitation. “We won’t be long, like, two minutes max.”

“Hey, fuck it. Why don’t we fold them in?” Rome scratches his nose and raises his shoulders in indifference as he addresses your sister. 

“Well, they’re not on the board so…”

“Yeah but they have sizable shares, so if the deal-” Roman makes a cutting sound low in his throat, “-they lose their payouts.” 

“Excuse me?” Connor’s focus is finally on the group instead of his phone, his hand now holding the beer glass he’d previously forgotten.

“Oh yeah, so, Shiv wants us to get mixed up in some sort of drug deal that will fuck the vote tomorrow.” And all your suspicions are unfortunately confirmed.

“You wanna fuck the deal?!” You can’t keep the shock from your voice.

“Um, no. A small delay, we all want the deal.” 

“And, look- I think I agree.” Kendall’s admission just surprises you more, causing you to shake your head lightly in disbelief.

“Oh, what the fuck now?”

“So, what? You think Waystar’s worth more than what Luk- or, Matsson’s paying, and you want to drive the price up?” Shiv and Ken nod in confirmation. “That’s so fucking stupid, he’ll walk if you try to force him to that!”

“Yeah, you’re gonna force Dad to grovel?” Connor steps in again, his expression mirroring yours. “Oh man, how long will a renegotiation take?”

“It’s a play.” Shiv moves her hands in front of her like she’s trying to smooth the air between you, trying to brush the tension away from the five of you. “More money is more money, and that’s all there is to it.”

“I just- I can’t” You stand from your seat, moving to squeeze behind Connor’s chair. “I need a break, just give me a minute.” 

“What, you running to Daddy?” Shiv calls from behind you. You flip her off.

 It’s not too difficult to find the bathroom in the restaurant, luckily it’s an individual stall with a lock on the entrance door. As soon as the latch comes down, you take a deep breath and let your back rest against the white tiled wall behind you. A hand comes up to brush hair out of your face, you fold your arms across your chest with a sigh. Reasonably, you should call your Dad. You should tell him about their scheming like a good daughter, let him deal with your traitorous siblings in any way he sees fit. But as you reach for your phone, your fingers end up dialing a different number.

“Have you been talking to my siblings?”

“A few of them, yeah.” Lukas answers your Facetime on the first ring, your phone showing an image of him sitting back in an armchair, donning a white tank top.

“Like, recently?”

“I just called Kendall a few minutes ago.”

“Fucking- I knew it.” Your jaw clenches involuntarily. If you were still a child, you’d be stomping your foot in anger.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Lukas’s face tenses a bit, his eyebrows coming up to form lines on his forehead as he questions you.

“Whatever you said, it’s convinced Kendall to fuck the board vote tomorrow.”

“Oh, really?” Despite the inquiry in his voice, he doesn’t seem surprised at the fact.

“They want more money from you, these market price comparables have influenced at least two of them, probably even more board members” Your filter for business information has been blown to pieces, at this point you’re letting whatever you want fly from your mouth. You’ll probably regret it in the morning.

“I figured.”

“Are you really gonna walk if they try to negotiate for more?” You can’t help the pitiful, almost whiny sound at the end of your question.

“Hey, it’s okay, I have it figured out. The deal will be fine regardless of what happens, I promise you.” Lukas’s tone takes on that nurturing tint he uses when you get flustered around him. You know that if you were there in person, he’d be pulling you into his lap to stroke your hair. “This has got you all worked up, huh?”

“I just- I feel so torn lately.” The sharp edge to your voice begins fading as he starts to coax the anger out of your system. “I just want everything to work out and everyone to be happy. And that’s really fucking hard when the people you love are all at eachother’s throats.”

“I know, you shouldn’t have to go through that. You’re just so caring, sometimes you can’t look out for yourself.” 

“I really miss you.” Your voice breaks a bit at the confession, fingers coming up to dab at the few tears that have gathered in your waterline. These moments with Lukas are like nights. Nights where the sky is dark and covered in clouds, and every once in a while the moon will peak through the haze and illuminate the entire world below. Somehow, just a minute with Lukas will brighten your entire demeanor, and will change you for the better.

“I miss you.” There’s a sad sort of smile on his face when he continues. “You have to take care of yourself when I’m not there. Don’t get overly involved with this shit, you know it’s ultimately out of your hands.”

“I- it’s like there’s so much going on I don’t even know about. And I’m just over here worried about how everyone feels.”You wrinkle your nose at the mention of feelings. Lukas gives a small chuckle at that, you wiping your tears with a newfound smile. “You should’ve seen me, I got so pissed when they said they were gonna fuck you over.”

“Aw you defended me?” He makes a little pouty face, putting out his lower lip with his best puppy dog eyes to make you laugh. “I love it when you’re feisty, turns me on.”

“Can I come up?”

“Absolutely, just tell me when. We have our company retreat soon, so before or after that I’ll carve out some time for you.”

“Oh gee thanks, cutting out time from your busy schedule to be with your girlfriend.” Lukas gives a fake frown at that, your smile grows wider in response. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

You hang up the call with a wave before tucking your phone back into your bag. Going to the janky mirror bolted to the wall, you fix any smeared eye makeup after splashing a little cool water on your face to calm down. Your head feels clearer after that conversation, your emotions more regulated and understanding a little deeper of the issue at hand. It’s strange how just a few minutes away from your family can change your mood so severely. Making your way back down the wood paneled wall of the bar, you join the silhouettes of your siblings back at the table. 

“-I wanted to get married tomorrow. I wanted to spend tonight with my family and tomorrow with my dad and I wanted to get my fucking money out.” Connor’s arms are crossed as you back down next to him, shooting a concerned look to your other siblings. “If I were you I wouldn’t have fucking come back.” He gives you a shake of his head and a glare from the corner of his eye.

“What even was that about? Were… were you telling Dad?” Kendall raises his eyebrows as he addresses your presence again.

“No, I wasn’t. That’s your own shit, I don’t wanna be involved.” He nods, but still has a look of suspicion in his eyes. “Sometimes you guys just give me migraines. But anyway, can we do anything else, Con?”

“...I would like to sing one fucking song at karaoke, because I’ve see it in the movies, and nobody ever wants to go.”  There’s a short pause before Connor speaks, but he seems happy enough to switch the subject. Shiv smiles in the background of your view, Roman puts his head down on the sticky surface of the table. You put an arm around the back of Connor’s chair and smile at him during the lull in conversation.

“You wanna do karaoke?” He nods. “Let’s do it, Mr. Bachelor. You only live once.” His face lights up at your optimism, Kendall looks at your other siblings in apprehension.

“Can we do literally anything else?” Rome’s voice is muffled from its position, and Shiv puts a hand on his back in consolation.

“Come on, one song on the night before his wedding. Toughen up, Rome.” Ken deciding to support the idea makes it 3 to 2, Connor wins.

And so, with a substantial amount of whining from Roman, your party makes its way to a new location. This time, Connor allows you to get chauffeured by his driver, sparing you from the cold New York air. The karaoke bar is all modern white surfaces and bright pink lighting. The partygoers range from business men just getting off work to bachelorette parties dressed in animal prints. Luckily, the venue has a private room available at short notice and the five of you are quickly escorted there by a polite usher.

“So, what happens now?” Connor walks to the center of the room, not waiting for the door to be fully closed before eagerly exploring the new space.

“Uh, well… someone has to humiliate themselves in the shame palace.” Shiv holds up an inflatable saxophone toy with a smirk while your brother joins Con on the couch.

“It’s not humiliation, Siobhan. It’s supposed to be fun, remember?” You move to a wall holding a mounted flatscreen and two wireless microphones, beginning to fiddle with the electronic there.

“Think they have "Desperado" by The Eagles?”

 “I would imagine they do. Longest night of my life.” Roman is still looking around with his hands on his hips, surveying the room with a grimace on his face

“Oh, shit. She's gone dark- why has she gone dark?” Connor is once again transfixed on his phone, a panicked expression coming across his features as he rambles. “I mean… is this it? Is she going off with some buck and they're gonna…you know?”

“Hey, take it easy. Kendall moves the thick book of songs that Connor had been flipping through over to himself, trying to calm him with his causal tone. “Maybe-maybe her phone just died.”

“Yeah. Have you ever considered that she might not be right for you? This could be good. Yeah?” Shiv is still perched by the tub of comical accessories, saxophone now abandoned as she leans with her hand placed on the counter. “You'll meet someone else.”

“Connor?” There’s a pause in Kendall’s speech, a soft look in his eyes when he continues. “You're not doing better than Willa.”

“I would agree. Do not let Willa go.” 

“Romulus.” Ken’s begun to pour the provided champagne, holding a glass out to his younger brother carefully. When you see the drinks begin flowing, you make your way over to your brothers, leaving your attempt at understanding the karaoke technology begin. A chime on Connor’s phone grabs his attention again, a low sigh leaving his mouth before he speaks.

“So… Dad’s on his way.”

“What?”

“He wants us to meet him down at the car when he gets here.” Connors admission makes even you puzzled, looking around at your siblings in confusion.

 “What the fսck?” Shiv opens her arms, clearly in a similar state of discomposure.

 “How does he know we're here? How do you know he’s coming?” Kendall’s voice takes on a bit of an angry edge as he looks at you. “Did you tell him? Is that what that little ‘break’ was about earlier?”

“No, I wouldn’t do that!” You’re quick to defend yourself, crossing your arms over your chest as some kind of protection, some kind of armor.

“Fuck, you totally did. You’re lying!” Shiv sounds shrill behind you, her accusatory tone making you draw your eyebrows together in annoyance.

“Well, no. I told him… that it’s the night of a thousand wobbles over here and he needs to talk to you.” Connor finally steps in, taking the heat off you.

“Why the fuck would you do that?” You turn back to your oldest brother, arms coming out in an expression of absolute bafflement.

“My life isn’t filled with secrets like some people. I share things, and I want my father to be at my wedding.” Shiv moves to the back to the couch, leaning over it with two hands bracing herself.

“You mean you want the money?”

“Well no- Siobhan, that was not my primary consideration.”

“I mean, what do we do? Do we- do we leave? I mean…” Roman’s moved a hand to his mouth, chewing at his fingernails in anxiety. It’s always startling to you, how quickly he can turn subservient at the mention of your father. “Will he come in? He’s not coming in, right?”

“I am totally down to leave.” You move closer to Roman’s side in support. “I don't want to be around you-” your finger points at Connor in objection “if you pull insane shit like this!”

“This doesn’t even affect you, why are you so upset?” Shiv’s eyes narrow in a glare at you, still suspicious from your current connection to Logan.

“Because it’s evil and manipulative and- fucking conniving!”

“You know what? Just be water, my friend.” Kendall is surprisingly calm in the situation. You wonder if he’s high.

“‘Just be wat-’ Wow, thanks man.” Roman turns to you. “What happens if I kill a Buddist? Do I get reincarnated as a fucking Buddhist?”

“I hope not.” You sigh, grabbing the champagne from your brother's hand and swallow it in one gulp. “Fuck it, I’m really just gonna leave. I don’t think I can take any more of this shit tonight.”

“Honestly I would too, you don’t need to be a part of this.” Roman runs a hand through his hair as he begins pacing across the room. 

“I don’t know whether to be offended or not…” You move to reach across the island table grabbing the mostly full bottle of champagne from its resting place. “I’ll just deal with Dad on my own. I’d rather not experience his wrath in front of other people. And looking at Connor makes me want to vomit right now”

“Fair enough.” Kendall is still calm, leaning back on the couch as he addresses you with an expression so neutral that it makes you want to roll your eyes.

“Do you wanna come with?” You make eye contact with Roman, eyebrows raising in question.

“... I dunno-”

“If you wanna run away you can. Just send him another little text later, ‘Sorry I missed you Daddy, take care!’” Shiv makes her voice all whiny when she quotes your brother. She’s clearly trying to aggravate him, get him to stay even if it’s not the best idea. You silently pray that Roman’s strong enough to resist her.

“Fine, I’ll fuckin- stay. Let Dad strangle all of us together, mass homicide.” But he’s not. He gives in to Shiv too easily, makes you frown in empathy.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Text me later okay? I worry about you guys.” As you turn to leave, you add one thing over your shoulder with a little grin. “Don’t… don’t let him push you around. As much as I disagree with you, you have to make your own choices. Even if they’re wrong.” 

On the way home you finish the bottle, staring out the backseat window of the SUV as the bright lights of NYC whizz past you. When you enter your apartment, you only pause to set down the empty drink and kick off your heels before flopping back onto your bed. Your chest is a little giggly and your brain is a little fuzzy from the alcohol. So of course you decide it’s the perfect time to call your boyfriend.

“Hiii!” You speak as soon as he answers, drawing out the word with a cheeky smile on your face. You’ve rolled onto your stomach by now, supporting yourself with  your elbows as you gaze lovingly down at the image of Lukas in your phone. 

“Oh, you’re drunk. And sexy.” You laugh at that, it’s always surprising how quickly Lukas can read you. To be fair, you do look really hot. Your cheeks are flushed, your hair is messy, and your mascara is smudged beneath your eyes. It reminds Lukas of how you look after he’s fucked you really well. 

“Yeah…I drank a bottle of champagne. By myself.” 

“Things went that bad?” His eyebrows furrow a bit as he questions you, clearly worried about your wellbeing.

“Kinda? It was actually Connor’s fault this time though.” You roll onto your back with a sigh, hair splaying out behind you in a halo. You hold your screen above your head, giving Lukas a little peak at the cleavage coming out of your shirt.

“Really? What happened?” His eyes dart to the sliver of your skin, but come back up to your eyes as he awaits your response.

“He, like, went to our dad about the shit Shiv and Rome and Ken are up to. The vote stuff I told you about.”

“And Logan was mad?”

“I assume so? I kinda left before he got there… it was just too much.” Your lips come together in a frown. “I dunno, maybe I shoulda stayed.”

“No, no, you did good. Looking out for yourself like I told you to.” Lukas gives a smile that you can’t help but mirror. He knows how his praise gets you.

“Maybe, we’ll see what happens. With him it’s like night or day. He’ll either love that I didn’t agree with them or hate that I didn’t rat them out to him.”

“Well, I’m proud of you. Regardless of what he says.” His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip, eyes traveling back down to your cleavage.

“Thank you.” You pause for a second just looking at him before you continue. “If I wasn’t so drunk I’d have Facetime sex with you right now.”

“I can tell. Your pupils are so big your eyes look black.” Playfully, you roll your eyes in response. “Call me in the morning, I’ll take care of you then.”

“Okayyy, and I’ll see you soon right? Come up before your retreat thing?”

“Of course. I’ll talk to you in the morning, go get some sleep.”

You do end up getting some sleep that night, following your boyfriend's wishes. But you also energetically masturbate to his past dick pics to tire yourself out. When you tell him that in the morning, he audibly groans at the fact that he missed watching you. 

In the end, Logan isn’t mad at you. He’s not pleased either. But, being indifferent is better than you expected. Atleast, that’s what you tell yourself. He invites you with the core executive crew to come to Sweden for a sudden meeting with Matsson, and of course you accept. It means you’ll miss Connor’s wedding, but you honestly don’t want to see him right now anyways. Plus, it means you get to see Lukas sooner than expected. Ken ended up texting you a brief recap of what happened after you left last night. When you read it in the morning it makes you glad that you weren’t there. 

It almost feels like yesterday was a dream. Like life is all back to normal now and things will carry on just as they always have. The deal will go through, Logan will be happy leading ATN, your siblings will be happy with Pierce, or whatever they end up working with. And you will live happily ever after with Lukas, ideally on Mars, or in outer space, or some other place that alienates you from all physical contact with your family.

At least some of that ends up happening.

© secondhand-snow 2024

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you think having to model would have been damaging to Adrien when his mother was still with him?

Potentially controversial take here, but no, I don't think child acting is a terrible thing that should be illegal and child models are just a variant of child actors. Acting in commercials or movies is arguably more serious than something like community theater or local ads, but the risks aren't actually all that different. No matter the level of the production, the risk for abuse is there. It's not something limited to Hollywood. So I have no issue with child stars as a general concept. I think I've only ever hinted at this in my stuff, but I can actually picture a scenario in which Adrien got into modeling as an act of love.

His mother was a professional actress and Adrien very clearly enjoys acting. I could absolutely see Emilie recognizing his talents and getting him involved in commercials and modeling shoots for the company so that he can try acting in an environment that she can fully control (which is not concerning given that Adrien has clearly been modeling for several years, so he started young.)

I think most "good" parents would be super hesitant to let a little kid work with people they don't know, but with Emilie's connections and the success of Gabriel's company? Adrien going into an acting career actually makes a lot of sense. Especially if Emilie acted as his agent and was always on set to make sure he was okay.

Adrien being a model only becomes concerning when we get things like the super creepy Alliance AI-Adrien. Stuff that Adrien clearly isn't okay with and that should never have been considered to begin with (you literally see the model in his underwear when Soquline is showing off the fact that you can dress him up in Jubilation.) If Adrien was actually enjoying the work and the work was all ethical? Then it wouldn't be a problem.

Creative fields are rife with abuse and poor working conditions, but they're also a source of joy for many. Minors working in these types of fields is an incredibly complex topic, but I can't view it as inherently bad. I've known too many kids who legitimately loved acting or playing sports or whatever creative thing they were into.

Oh, and random side note, but it's super weird how the show plays Adrien's fame. He's fashion model, not a movie star. He would not be as famous as the show tries to make him. I actually researched this a while back to make sure France didn't have some sort of model-obsession and I couldn't find anything (btw, please let me know if I missed something and this is wrong).

I mention all of this because I think fashion modeling is potentially a much safer way to let a kid do some acting. Commercials and one-off fashion shoots are much smaller commitments than movies and TV shows and they carry way less risk of super star fame. I actually get distracted when fanfics have Gabriel constantly pulling Adrien out of school for fashion shoots for two reasons: first, that appears to be highly illegal in France. Second, how much marketing material is the Gabriel brand supposedly producing??? Especially since Adrien seems to just be a teen model and not model for the adult line, which would be standard for the industry. You don't really become a full fledged model doing things like runways until you're at least 16. (Btw, guess what age I often scale Adrien up to? There's a reason for that.)

As far as I can tell, most models have to work with multiple brands and companies to make good money. An exclusive deal with a single company should mean that your schedule is pretty relaxed, which is another reason I could buy a loving parent letting Adrien model. Modeling, commercials, and voice acting are actually a fantastic set of options for someone who wanted to do some acting work while still going to school. It is incredibly easy to take the setup the show gave us and use it to make Adrien a child star who wasn't exploited.

[skippyv20]

Hi Skippy & Friends-Oh this makes me really furious seeing this vulgar display of “fashion” as if this is a casual outfit with sneaker$ & sweat$…oh and the Himalaya Birkin from Niloticus crocodile skin with Palladium hardware going for $450,000.00 +/-. Perfect for errands! What hypocrisy!

Hermes owns Birken Bags which is a US handbag product line touting exotic skins, hand sewn, buffed, painted and polished with gold, palladium finishes. Resale is almost as good as owning gold ingots, outperforming traditional investments. The most expensive model sold for $1.9 million. Interested buyers have to be approved from Hermes who invite them into a special private boutique where they view models which must be ordered while being put on a waiting list. The super snobby sales techniques will suck in those who can’t wait to throw money at them. I detect some kind of super competition here, over handbags! These collectors need to take some lessons from ERII IMHO. I enjoy their scarves and other fine items, but this is just tacky nouveau riche to the max!

So, just to really read the room here…Hermes and Birkin do not pass ethical it seems. The brand falls short on workers’ rights, transparency and treatment of animals. It takes 2 or 3 crocodiles to make just one handbag. Over 60 hatchling crocodiles are packed into each concrete pen. I have never been a fan of crocodiles, alligators, snakes and other reptiles but I do think what drives greedy companies bottom line can be horrific. Peta has researched Hermes and Birkin and what they report is not pretty.

Here’s an idea! Instead of strutting around NYC carrying a purse called Himalaya because of the pale colors like snowcapped mountains…why not actually HELP that part of the world which is very much in need of assistance. The American Himalayan Foundation is a great group you can check out online that reveals their annual financials showing where they put the donations to work, as well as annual highlights and field reports. Under the section called What We Do…the top listing is STOP Girl Trafficking. How about that Hermes and Birkin?!!!!!

I will cheerfully celebrate carrying my old comfy yet stylish bag, allowing me to donate to foundations of choice-mostly local. I will not spend one penny on any movies, music, perfumes or clothes by those sporting these bags. Their inability to understand how truly vulgar this behavior is, confirms to me they flunk humanity.

Wow!  Great post dear Pilgrim!  The insanity!  It makes me sick when these rich people constantly have to show off…..they look ridiculous to be honest.  All I see when I see these ridiculous, greedy fools is hungry/starving/homeless people….the rich don’t impress me, never have….😔

[ming-sik]

Could you tell us more about your thoughts on the orphanage and what you hate about Rozemyne doing to it and if you were writing an au or something, how would you gix it?

my problem with the orphanage is basically what i said-- it's a company town. the orphans all have to work and they are unable to leave, plus the fact that they can be bought and sold as property; myne's "those who don't work don't eat" slogan being the first thing she says to them is pretty notable. at multiple points in the story, rozemyne hears someone saying that the grey priests are being treated too well, and her first response is to correctly point out that being an orphan means being a slave, which always ends up getting treated like an epic burn and is never followed up with "you're the high bishop, why are orphans treated that way?"

the story excuses this in a few ways. way one is that rozemyne is a nice master who pays for their living expenses/stops individual instances of violence or sexual assault/lets one of them one time decide if they want to be sold because she's worried about him being pressured into a marriage, way two is that the orphans are so grateful for this that none of them disobey her or demand better conditions, and way three is that ferdinand convinces her that this is just how things work and there's no point trying to change it which she accepts. also it's i think established that after hasse comes under her control the orphans there are allowed to become citizens after coming of age, but like the orphans who live in the temple are still slaves.

my main problem is that the idea of the nice slave master is an excuse that was used in real life to excuse actual slavery and the fact that it's so common in isekai including aob sucks, especially when the story explicitly endorses and argues for this being the best possible option, including saying that it's reasonable that citizens are upset that orphans are being treated better than them when they don't pay taxes which is the thing that convinces our protagonist. now the vast majority of the actual pro-slavery rhetoric comes from everybody's favorite character ferdinand, and the fact that it's in-story characters saying it could've been used as a way to establish that this is yet another horrifying aspect of life under feudalism, but instead it's treated as actually a very good argument that wins over rozemyne with its logic and then the story just runs with it and never touches on whether or not the orphans might be better off being made into citizens even when the improvement of the temple's image is a huge plot point and idk i think someone "going to the temple" not meaning they were becoming a slave might help that possibly, and if she really wants nobles to stop mistreating grey priests it could possibly help for them to be normal attendants that are being hired instead of bought and are citizens who it's illegal to assault might be more effective than very sternly telling them to be nicer.

also it's part of the thing aob does in general where it touches on an incredibly serious issue with systemic causes that is exacerbated by YS's society with characters being rightfully horrified by it.... before getting really scared of portraying the consequences of that in a way that might paint the good noble characters in a bad light, so an explanation is quickly invented for why the thing itself is actually super ethical because of another thing we just made up that means that it's different when they do it. many such cases. very weird to make a series set in a world that's repeatedly established to be this dark fantasy where the irl reasons that feudalism was a brutal, abusive system are outlined in detail that dares to focus on the commoners who are almost always ignored in favor of the glittery nobles, only to decide halfway through that glittery nobles are way easier to write about so you just have the protagonist join the nobility and retcon a bunch of reasons the world is fine actually.

as for how i would rewrite it, the most obvious fix is to have her free them. maybe ferdinand initially strongarms her into accepting it, but despite the other nobles telling her that she's a saintlike figure, the actual orphans, after learning that in hasse they become citizens after coming of age or just when they're more regularly exposed to the outside world, start to agitate for better treatment, no longer satisfied with being treated well by their master for now. if she doesn't, eventually some of them start to turn against her. she has to choose-- will she try to force them back into line, or will she put her money where her mouth is and actually fight for the commoners? and if she does try to make them citizens at their baptism or give them the right to leave the temple whenever they want or remove the barrier between the temple and the common people entirely(maybe allowing other people with the devouring to help the temple without having to leave their families), she should meet resistance! her trying to keep the commoners from being uprooted by the entwickeln would be an appetizer for this main dish, a situation where rozemyne is completely, totally unable to frame this as a weird pet project and instead has to try and convince a sympathetic noble character that a fundamental thing they've accepted is incorrect. i would have this be her and ferdinand's first real conflict, and an extremely difficult fight for her. she's right, but she has to overcome the fact that ferdinand is more confident, more connected, more mature, supported by the rest of the nobility, and just generally stronger than she is to convince him to help her, and in the process she has to convince the archducal family, all of whom are also against her. maybe she wavers at multiple points over whether or not this is even worth it and feels the desire to accept ferdinand's suggestions that she just crush the orphans who are rebelling, only stopped by the orphans themselves. probably have a named character be part of the rebels, i would go for gil and have him believe that myne's a good enough person to do the right thing, forcing her to deal with the weight of betraying one of her first genuine allies in the temple and someone she explicitly promised she would treat well. likely this would need a volume or two of rozemyne agonizing and things getting worse until a breakthrough where she convinces a powerful ally, idk she convinces giebe illgner who tries making the orphans citizens in his own province and it turns out well enough that it proves that both nobles and commoners can eventually accept the arrangement, and after getting the other paper-making giebes on their side, she has enough leverage to bargain with evidence. you could either have her successfully convince ferdinand or not. she does need to convince sylvester for logistical reasons, and generally this would be a moment in his arc of widening the divide between him and the abuse feudalism necessitates, but whether or not she convinces ferdinand would probably decide if he's getting a redemption arc or becoming an eventual antagonist, both of which could be neat if handled right. regardless it's important that the orphans aren't just a mostly faceless crowd of worshippers and are instead a group of people with their own needs and interests.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi, any recs with businesswomen?

Contemporary or fictional are also good but I am more interested in historical. Their struggle to establish themsleves and staying firm in the face of heavy disapproval and sabotage from everyone, tells us how much comfortable we are living of course women still face so many problems but we are much better off than them.

Something along the line of Nora Robert's Bride Quartet (Though I only like Vision in White, rest are kind of boring) so as a group or even if fmc is doing it on her own also works.

Thanks

For sure!

Lorraine Heath actually just did a book big on business--In Want of a Viscount. The heroine essentially inherited this invention/floundering business from her father, and the hero is a part of a group of investors she's pitching to. Her passion about being a businesswoman is a big part of the book.

Sierra Simone's Molly O'Flaherty books are big on how passionate Molly is about her business and what she's done to keep it afloat. She runs a shipping company. The series is VERY racy and SA does factor in as part of Molly's backstory that still haunts her, so be aware. However, I found her romance with Silas, the friend she realizes she's been in love with a long time, quite touching. And also hot.

When a Duke Loves a Woman by Lorraine Heath has a heroine who runs a tavern and is determined to stay independent, which is a big part of her internal conflict. She's also lower class, which I love.

In Grace Callaway's Lady Charlotte's Society of Angels, the heroines are all a part of a lady detective agency, basically (it is Charlie's Angels But Victorian). It's super delightful and I was really into the female friendships. The first four books are about the "employees" for want of a better word (I mean I honestly don't know if these girls get paid lmao) but the last one is about Charlie herself, who runs it. I really loved her attitude.

Melissa and The Vicar by S.M. LaViolette stars a heroine who runs a brothel (fairly and ethically). Looooove this book, though the heroine was sold into the trade as a child so be aware. M

In Which Winnie Halifax is Utterly Ruined by Alexandra Vasti focuses on a heroine who runs her own farm, which is why she's in the plot predicament she's in (to avoid issues, she made up a husband who happens to have the hero's name, and when he finds out years later that he apparently has a wife it's problematic). Not a huge part of the book, but an aspect I found added a fun spin to the romance.

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy has a really interesting take. The heroine doesn't initially run a business, but she's American and inherits a castle that's basically crumbling and very in the red financially. So she's like "well, we either sell it or we make it financially feasible", which puts her at odds with the hero, a duke who a) doesn't want to admit she's inherited over him and b) is horrified that she wants to do things like give PAID TOURS!!! GASP! of the castle.

Hotel of Secrets by Diana Biller is GREAT on this front. The heroine runs her family's hotel, which has been passed down through the generations. But it's about to go under, so she's also scrambling to find a way to keep it afloat. It's a huge part of her character.

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera--another great fit. The heroine is in Paris to essentially sell her family's rum distillery to investors and get them on board. An excellent example of what the historical romance genre can do with businesswomen if it wants to try.

Devil in Spring by Lisa Kleypas--the heroine is still in the early stages, but a huge part of her character is that she wants to build a BOARD GAME EMPIRE!!!!

Devil in Disguise by Lisa Kleypas--the heroine runs a shipping business she inherited from her late husband.

Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean--a big part of this book is that the heroine is very excited about getting into the family business and pushing forward. Daring and the Duke also has a heroine who runs a business; she's a madame, but her club caters more to women. Never Judge a Lady by Her Cover also features a club-owning heroine.

[bincutie]

would chan/felix/seonghwa (feel free to choose) mind a “feisty” significant other that’s actually very sensitive? like someone who is super strict about morals, honesty and good quality work, but then is also super sensitive and cares deeply for them? would they force that out of them?

- 🐻

I'm not gonna answer this one as them talking just because this way is easier, hope that's alright, doll!

Tw: yandere behavior, you know the drill. Does not accurately represent any of the members, their groups, or their companies. This depicts unhealthy relationships. Brief/vague mentions of self harm. Torture (seonghwa breaks people's bones). Murder.

Chan

More than anything, he thinks it's adorable.

The man is absolutely obsessed with every aspect of his s/o, if he wasn't then he wouldn't be with them.

He doesn't believe in trying to destroy parts of his partner that occasionally make things difficult. In fact, he loves that they have such a strong moral code and work ethic.

What would be the point in changing his partner? Then they wouldn't be the person he's in love with?

So he simply reminds them every once in awhile who's in charge.

Maybe he punishes them, or maybe he just has a conversation with them. It depends on his mood.

He's very level headed.

Really has no problem with it, especially since they show him affection and sensitivity.

Felix

He'll be a little insecure. He needs constant reassurance and if his s/o doesn't provide that, he'll hurt them, himself, or both.

If he does something against their moral code and his s/o lectures him or ignores him because of it, he'd be heartbroken.

He'll make them feel like shit for making him feel bad.

"It isn't my fault, I can't control it. I'm trying to get better for you, I really am. You make me better, I know it was wrong but I thought he was gonna hurt you or- or take you away. Please understand. Please you're the only one who ever understands."

And he's sobbing, tears streaming down his freckled cheeks. His lip trembling and voice cracking as he speaks.

Everything is better later once his s/o pries the knife out of his hands and they're cuddling together on the couch.

Seonghwa

He adores how they stand up for what they believe in

How they are never afraid to tell someone off whenever they're purposely doing something wrong

It's his favourite trait of theirs

Until it's directed at him

Because apparently it's against their moral code for Seonghwa to kill the man who tried to flirt with them

When his s/o starts lecturing him? Yelling at him?

He puts a stop to that really quick

Loves to remind them that they have no one else to turn to

He severed those ties a long time ago

Their precious code of conduct can be altered. It's nothing a little blackmail and torture can't fix.

He's not above hurting them. He utilizes it often.

He'll make them depend on him in every possible way. They have no other relationships, no way to make connections, and he can easily shatter the bones in their arms/legs so that they need his help for everything.

But it'll all be okay once the punishment is over and they're cuddling together, Seonghwa's arms wrapped carefully around their weak body.

[xxlovelynovaxx]

CW Ai discourse, block 'aicourse' tag if you wanna avoid this. Specifically cw for more nuanced, not completely anti-AI but not pro-AI either takes

Quite frankly, I find most anti-AI discourse to range from disingenous to outright dangerous. Y'all in FANDOM want to give companies the opportunity to shore up IP rights when we all know individuals still won't be able to even afford to benefit from them? You wanna give the fucking Mouse and stuff MORE power over transformative works?

Like don't get me wrong, I personally don't really like generative tech that much. I genuinely miss the early days of AI when you could get something unique and super weirdcore from AI prompts. I'm not against people using the lovely programs to poison their art in terms of data so scraping it will just fuck with AI, because it's NOT being used ethically.

I just think the discourse is ALSO rancid. Like honestly, if we could fix the ethical problems with the data sets, who cares if someone "made" something via their labor or not. Who cares if it's really "art" or not (and maybe we can avoid using the same arguments about what "art" is as literal fascists? Not saying this applies to everyone in the discourse, but I've definitely seen it).

Again, in the event of an ethical* generative tech program, and quite honestly protections for artists that we've needed for a long time (thanks capitalism /s), who the fuck gives a shit whether some art or a fanfic or whatever came from a computer?

"It's soulless" okay cultural christian hegemony, I don't believe in souls in that way, next. "It's boring" learn to say you don't like something instead of moralizing neutral* (this is not to say you can't talk about the actual moral issues with AI, but maybe learn to recognize them first and actually think critically about them) things, next. "Clearly no one cared enough to write-" once again I will bring up that AI CAN be a genuine accessibility tool and not all disabled people are CAPABLE of writing, but also that you CANNOT recognize the reason someone chose to do something in a far easier way. Even if it's not disability, it also doesn't mean that you magically psychically know they don't care.

Like, in the grand scheme of things, AI really doesn't matter. It could be completely banned tomorrow and it would really be no big loss. This is for the most part an annoyance, aside from the legal ramifications for fandom of IP law stuff, and even then it's like... something that would suck, not something that would be truly harmful. This isn't IDPOL, it isn't about oppression or any of the actually important things I regularly discourse about. It's why I consider myself good friends with multiple people who are very strongly anti-AI. I even value their perspectives, even if I get annoyed at times, because they come from a genuine place of wanting to protect artists, and quite honestly at the end of of the day I agree that that IS more important than generative tech.

I'm just. Annoyed.

I'll tag future AI discourse as aicourse if you wanna block btw. I value my friendships with y'all more than this bullshit.

[secretariatess]

Apparently a video of a Starbucks worker has come out where they’re complaining about working an eight hour shift, twenty-five hours a week, and they’ve only got four people (one called out) working the floor and it’s super busy.  And they filmed it while still at work.

I get there’s a lot about work culture needs changing so there’s more balance, but that’s ridiculous.  I even saw someone try to defend it, saying there were only four people working.

And?

I get retail and customer service sucks, and I get that it gets busy, and that people can be really rude.  But four people on the floor is doable.  It does require, however, having a work ethic and finding a rhythm.  Heck, I was at a college with a Dunkin that would have about four or five people on the floor- and it doubled as a Baskin-Robbins.  Guess how busy that place got after convocation (a thrice weekly thing involving almost ALL the students and ending just about lunch time).  Yeah, probably sucked.  But they were able to do it.

Scheduling more people to work isn’t the answer.  You end up putting too many people on the floor, and then the company ends up paying people to do nothing, or worse, just get in the way of things.

The answer is getting a work ethic.  Unfortunately, as much good as my generation and the next are trying to do in changing work culture, from what I see, it’s brought on not by actually setting boundaries, but rather the lack of a work ethic and lack of care for fellow employees.

And to Christians, I say this is wrong.  Paul said that in whatever we do, do it for the glory of God.  Can we honestly look at our work and say we’re working at a standard that would be for the glory of God?  Or are we focused on how we don’t like our job, and the injustices of it that we’ve resorted to doing subpar work instead of setting clear boundaries?

The busyness sucks.  Dealing with rude and upset customers sucks.  But it sucks even more when you’re working with someone who has no work ethic and doesn’t care how it impacts the rest of the team.  So the people like the Starbucks worker lose my sympathy.

[coolarchaeologist42069]

My internal debate about being a guest in Hawai’i and the Maui fires.

I’m debating this again in my head since the fires on Maui started. It got sparked by a TikTok and a few tumblr posts that I saw that basically said “see, this is why people shouldn’t move here, colonizers/tourists are taking away resources from people who actually need it.” I’m basically having this debate in my head over the ethics of living here, and moving here, and whether or not I’m being overly defensive/kneejerk when I see arguments like “don’t come here.” The conflict goes something like this:

Part of me knows that, at a systemic level, the system runs off of tourism money, and absolutely favors colonizers and tourists, and by moving here I’ve contributed to this and continue to do so by my presence. The resources of the islands are already strained and exploited, and these fires are evidence of that. This is all compounded by the fact that I’m white, and am protected by and made physically safe by the system in question.

However, another part of me knows that there is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that being forced to participate in the flawed system is not the same as actively supporting the system. I did not move here to live in a pretty paradise, I moved here because I answered a request from a company that is based here that does good work, that I believe is actually contrary to the system’s interests (construction companies would not hire Archaeologists or Cultural Monitors if they didn’t have to legally). I’m not exactly in a position to go to any of the resorts or do the tours or anything like that, and try to shop local where possible.

Part of me thinks that the main problem is not the tourists themselves, but the system that misallocates resources, and that the main solution to that problem is a revolution, or at least a socialist reform (although idk if reform would solve the whole issue, but that’s another discussion). That revolution is going to have to pull from the lower, middle and upper classes in order to succeed. The latter two of those are the only two who are able to with any sort of consistency, come to Hawaii. Therefore, the argument “don’t come here” is mostly targeted at them. But, the people who don’t care about BIPOC in Hawaii won’t bother listening to that argument, because it’s made BY those same groups. This leaves the only people who would listen to this statement and not come are the people who would more than likely join in or at least support the revolution. Therefore, that argument isn’t helpful, because it actually weakens the power of the community that backs the changes that need to be made.

However, another part of me says that I don’t want to be that white guy who tells BIPOC “oh, you shouldn’t argue this way, that’s not helpful.” White moderates have said that at basically every step of the history of change in US and they have never once been correct. It’s actively harmful to say. So then, should I even bother thinking any of that revolutionary stuff I mentioned earlier would be helpful or even ethical to bring up? Am I just being reactionary because I don’t want to be perceived as a colonizer (I know I am one, it’s a rhetorical question)? Is it as black and white as “locals good, tourists bad, so don’t come here?” Do I even do good work through archaeology at all? Is the “don’t come here” argument based on isolationist xenophobia? Or is that my capitalist indoctrination telling me to ignore what BIPOC are saying??

I don’t know the answer to any of these questions and am super super torn up. Either way, I’d already planned to leave HI at some point in the next year when I can get a job on the mainland (if anyone knows anything over 24/hr lmk lmao) so it’s not as though these arguments are falling on deaf ears. But looking back on this whole part of my life, I am beginning to be unsure if it’s something I can be proud of. I think that archaeology is revolutionary action, and that building community around cultural heritage is an important boost to leftist movements. I’m going to continue to support the pro-independence movement here, even when I don’t live there anymore, but man every time I see one of those kinds of posts it makes me think and worry.

[wjbs-aus]

Since I'm (probably) near the end of the new Saints Row, I can safely say that I love it and personally would put it as either second or joint-first on my personal SR ranking, and it's the best game I've played this year at time of writing. But because nuance, I'll be going into more detail below.

(spoiler warning for all but one of the missions prior to The After-Party).

I found the new named Saints far less annoying than I thought I would, and personally I would die for Eli.

Speaking of Eli, the LARP storyline is really fun, and it's personally my favourite part so far, especially the fact that the other Saints get roped in, leading up to the massive battle against Gwen. Also, the bit at the end when the Boss does all the silly poses while shooting the king was really funny, especially the aftermath where the petrol station clerk awkwardly asks the Boss to order something and they respond in-character.

I honestly think Sergio's death was kinda anticlimactic, like you're told you will fight him and you get ready for a huge fight that just... doesn't happen, and he just gets anticlimactically killed off in a cutscene; the Boss isn't even the one who does it! It doesn't help that I also think Los Panteros are the least-interesting of the three gangs (or two gangs and one megacorporation), just being the Brotherhood but orange and aztec-themed.

For the moral choice in the AI tank level, I chose to fire Marshall. I'll probably shoot him on my next playthrough.

The mission where you have to steal the sculptures was really difficult and I had to get my brother - who is better at driving games than me - to do it.

The city is amazing, and honestly it's my favourite sandbox in the entire series. I love all the fake brands, I love the armadillo sculpture-trail, and I love the fact that there are proper strip-malls in a Saints Row game (mainly because strip-malls are an injoke between me and my brother).

The Boss might be canonically non-binary in the new timeline, which is very cool.

I am very dissapointed that - as far as I can tell - importing a Boss made in the Boss Factory doesn't carry over the outfit, only the character (although it did give me the opportunity to fiddle around with my Boss's fashion).

The existence of a Saints of Rage arcade machine in (at least) one part of the map, as well as an associated T-shirt, implies that Johnny exists as a fictional character in the new timeline.

Oh! Speaking of references to stuff that doesn't exist in the new timeline, the in-game Volition shop sells an Agents of Mayhem shirt, which I'm fairly sure is the first time I've seen someone acknowledge that game since it came out (not counting me buying it and playing some of it a year or two ago).

It is ridiculously easy to become OP.

It took me ages to realise that the MDI building is boot-shaped.

THEY DIDN'T DEPICT REPLACING THE CEO OF MDI AS A WHOLLY GOOD THING! THEY ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WHAT'S-HER-FACE ISN'T WILLING TO FULLY TRUST THE SAINTS JUST BECAUSE THEY HELPED HER BECOME CEO, AND THAT SHE PRIORITISES THE COMPANY OVER THESE FOUR RANDOM ZOOMERS!

I like how the Boot Hill mission is literally just Super-Ethical but less frustrating and with a better announcer.

The Cutting Edge materials are really disappointing. I was expecting them to work like normal colours but with a different visual effect, but they colour the entire thing you apply them to, so applying them to clothes looks really tacky.

I want a Collective helmet in real life.

The Hidden History stuff is really fun and I like that they're actually putting effort in to establish a consistent timeline, unlike the original one which was an absolute mess. Also the glove-guns are OP as hell, especially when you unlock the special attack for them.

I have more thoughts, but I can't really think of any right now, so I'll add them as an addendum when I've finished the final mission (and also the other one I have to do first).

[freeworldallahexecutivembaclass]

Just making sure I do what I'm supposed to and complete my term with you in good fashion hopefully thank you it's been a honor the female rapper from the music Industry Nicki Minaj yes true and Cardi B are actually my sponsors they sponsor my education and yes my politics you got it so what saying to you breathing like I'm laughing like wow that is super cool thank you to the people it has been a honor to help you . Talk about women with power now I hope to help them and be like an Administrative Assistant to them I learned loyalty and my work ethic is incredible . Hopefully wish me luck if not it's no problem to them they good well for me at least I tried and I get a business education in the process . Anyway thank you it's been an honor and yes we love the ladies we dig the honeys I love women I love their style fragrance softness and company .

This was no walk in the park but I had to get my self together and again to prove that I deserve the job .

Certificate of relief from disabilties can get a man or woman any job they want you can't be turned away from gaining a license or employment because of your past you can work in corrections or even be a counselor anything you want to be if you just got released from prison you get what is called a certificate of relief from disabilities from your crime or crimes but it does cover the felony or felonies your parole officer will get you a program called CEO but all actuality you can get your security guard license or casac license with your certificate of relief from disabilities now if after your felony crime is covered by the certificate of relief from disabilities and you have misdemeanors on your record you can go to your county clerk office and ask for a certificate of relief from disabilities to cover your misdemeanors I guess they call it the certificate of relief from disabilities because it relieves of the disability of having a criminal record in getting licensed and getting a job don't worry they give it to you automatically when you get released from prison sorta to stop the recidivism rate in inner cities .I was the person that fought for that right the fair chance act now activated in California .I got the minimum wage raised to a decent living wage andFree College Education in New York and so much more since my time on using this platform Using Michelle Alexander book the new Jim Crow I help legislate The fair chance law and our Mayor put it in place I am happy Kamala Harris is talking about putting more money in our pocket from our occupation that is a goodie .I am hope for those that feel outta place wherever they go trust me man I got a job and I perservered and studied the law and my rights when I didn't have one this is to inspire people not give up on the job market or their selves and keep going and get your what you feel is worth in the job market what you need to survive and thrive on my job applications I would just put no I don't have a crime if I feel intimidated and I usually get the job to get my license for my skill of at that time I had to send a copy of the fair chance act and article 23a to get my license so I had to assert myself to get my license .https://fairchance.lacounty.gov/the-fair-chance-act/

What I bring to my fellow New Yorkers :Job growth in opportunities in all cities in America and soon the whole world and pay raises for their wages and salary from inadequate pay checks to better livable wages in full permanent employment with hopefully a new federal minimum wage pay and salary that I speak of at 17 $ dollars and hour for general laborers and people with a lack of skills so the more skills and service the higher their pay go but the 17 $ dollars an hour should be the base minimum for starters that for starting a new life and with better opportunities and life chances to make more progress the job force will grow and so will the consumer price index . education An A class and quality education to all New Yorkers to subscribe to , skills , social science knowledge of demographics and progressive economics for solutions for America and all countries , political thoughts and ideology for future oriented business and bettering the citizens of any community in ethics values goals and professionalism in any worker that labors to provide a service and creating wise minds out of Idle souls and crushed hopes on the faces of mothers sons daughters uncles nephews lost fathers discriminated against in the shadows of the gutter of society and making them better men and women I feel my education and teaching does that for people political ideas and economic infrastructure for urban environments .

Human resources administration we care to we work programs .

Manual labor stock clerk , delivery helper , mover and maintenance or these type of jobs remember we are renovating human beings and refreshing them and putting them into a new lifestyle for them or you could train yourself for these type of jobs that is where I'm going with mines I'm training myself for a career change in occupation .

Skills and intelligence - My Class The Free World 🌎Newspaper 📰 and Magazine 🌎🖥️🌹🌆👸🧑‍🔧🧑‍🏭🧑‍⚕️🧑‍🏭🧝👲👶🧑‍🍳🧑‍🦲👱🧑‍🦰🌹🌷🌋🏖️⛱️🌅🌁🌌🌠🪐🐯🦊🍉🍎🍠🧅🍅🥦The New and improved New York from my neighborhood to the world

1 . Business Administration skills - office work and office skills ( Bookkeeping and accounting ) doing the numbers and business management including leading and managerial duties leading people and logical organization skills .

2 . Clerical skills - computer 🖥️ skills ( Microsoft word , Microsoft excel and power point and computer based skills and manual office duties like filing , auditing and answering office email and typing business email making proposal letters for legislation and contracting .

3 . Sales and presentation - Resume writing , cover letters ,self branding what skills separate you from the other job candidates , selling and interviewing , customer service , selling , persuasion , friendliness , knowledgeable , clean , organizing skills , intelligent , inspiring , innovative , inventive , ambitious , outgoing and socially responsible adult .

4 . Politically and socially as well as economically aware In tune with their town politics and the news 🗞️📰 .

5 . Traveler and spontaneous , adventurous and an entertaining personality .

The story is that 50 Cent kind of dropped a hint to me on wanting to help cure the Aids epidemic in Africa and I heard it and I proposed it to send the cure for aids in Africa to the people in Africa infected with HIV Aids and this is the news headlines in March 2023 of it going through another accomplishment on my list of accomplishment thank you so much and they should be continuing sending it to Africa daily every day week month and years for generations and generations from now on a continuous basis that would be the right thing to do true humanity .

Check the news on CNN The US helped prevent AIDS from being a death sentence in Africa . The us is me and 50 Cent the rapper from his hit show power .

We did it congratulations on the cure for Aids in Africa .

The US helped prevent AIDS from being a death Sentence in Africa

Check the news on CNN on ending HIV Aids in Africa with the cure and new medicine Cabenuva HIV medicine that cures HIV Aids like the common cold and any other kind of communicable diseases

We did it congratulations on the cure for Aids in Africa .

The US helped prevent AIDS from being a death Sentence in Africa .

Cabenuva the new HIV Medicine is the cure for HIV Aids it knocks out HIV Aids like the common cold please send it to Africa to help heal the people .

[daddy-socrates]

hey daddy socrates!

as i understand you did MA in philosophy, can i rant a bit in your ask box?

i did my BA in philosophy, now i want to do my MA in philosophy because i love it. but everyone tells me it's useless since this degree is unemployable.

idk, i guess i wanted to ask, what are your thoughts on this? i feel so depressed lately since it feels like i have to pick between a) something i'm interested in, passionate about and love b) something that will land me a well paying job. and it feels like b is more responsible choice but also that it will ultimately make me really miserable.

Okay so, I'm not gonna lie I also thought it was useless in undergrad. I had gone in initially with the aim of an English major and the education certification track (bc my school was quirky and wacky 🤪🤪 a cert for my state rather than a full major) but I found myself so enamored by the mushy-ness of philosophy that I stuck with it. Every time I asked a professor "so what can I do with this degree?" it was ALWAYSSSSSS "you can do ✨️anything✨️ :)" and I'm like, Gary that's not an answer (^':

Right so a lot of people take a philosophy degree (or two) and then go into law school or become a professor. I wanted to take some time to explore other options before committing to a second degree in philosophy and honestly I got about halfway through a school year away from it before I went crazy and applied for some classes at a nearby university. Backstory backstory backstory, etc. If you really want you can find the rest of that in my talking tag (#blah blah blah) if you want all the ramblings and complaints and the victories.

Getting back to your point though, when Gary said "you can do anything," he meant that the skills taught in philosophy - like critical thinking, deep reading, reasoning, recognizing fallacies, awareness of social and political history surrounding the "whys" behind the "whats" of individual beliefs and broader systems/structures - is almost universally adaptable. My mom said through my junior and senior years that those skills are always in wicked high demand, so philosophers are going to be good at whatever we decide to apply ourselves to.

But that's not fun. We know REAL fun! Sitting in a library basement drawing the ghosts out of dead texts and "Um, Actually"-ing them with our 21st century, likely more diverse perspectives :)

Have the others in your life picked out careers for you? Because I have a little list of things I came up with that are not rooted in academia but can use the skills and might help cast a wider net while still related!

Joining an activist organization, or a union organizing group

Political analysis

Editor (maybe for a philosophy journal?!)

Local office ethics board

Human resources is a related option to the above and seems to be in constant demand

It's a short list and definitely a work in progress, but they're just a few little ideas. Use your network!! Use them! Professors, classmates, alumni, friends, family of friends, etc! They may have insight into places you can't even conceive of yourself at this moment!

I did almost go for a job in HR with an environmental technology company but somehow got a job in costuming. Fuckin bananas, the chance of that. But it's wonderful, because it's a job I can leave at work, and once a week last semester I would leave a little early to do just one class. Working full time and being a super-small-part-time student has been uhhhh tricky but it's more or less worked for me to dedicate a few hours each weekend to doing the assignments etc. JUST a few. Sleep and video games and going outside are also necessary.

... But also, if you really want to commit to philosophical research or teaching philosophy (as I am now planning to do), then I say go for it. My current job is definitely not my forever-home, but ALSOOOOOO the idea of a "forever career" feels silly to me. If you are able to let yourself float a little bit from time to time, recognize that you can switch it up if you need to. My partner is currently in a floating spot right now and he's miserable about it, but there is something comforting about knowing that the training he is currently doing in the meantime while between jobs does not have to be the only office he will ever have to sit in.

If you choose to go ahead in philosophy, hell yeah!! Big fan, absolutely love that. If you decide to take a break like I did, try something else, even just for a little while, that's also great! It could be used as a sort of "See? I DID do other things" at your nay-sayers too >:)

WHEW lots to say, too much space allowed to say it. I hope some of that can help a little. Absolutely come back to rant more if you want!

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

What is the general public view of the heroes and villains?

So heros can be split up into two groups- official licensed heros and vigilantes. Licensed heros work through a couple various organizations throughout the world (but mainly one, it's really taking the world by storm!) And are generally pretty well liked! They have huge public relations departments and sponsor deals and whatnot to make sure the public likes them and feels they need heros to stay safe. I'm very much taking inspiration from mha's whole heros are if the police were celebrities thing here, the most popular heros are generally either older heros with senority and brand recognition, or newer upstarts with their hero company backing their debute. Large showy fights are ideal, but heros are generally meant to minimize property damage and injuries. But- well, it's not always avoidable is it? So it's quickly brushed under the rug with a new gossip story or someone popular coming out of retirement. A bit of damage is well worth all the good they do, right?

Vigilantes, on the other hand, are generally portrayed as a public enemy. Perhaps not quick on the same scale as villains, they are generally doing good of course, but the media still points out how dangerous an unregistered vigilante without proper hero training can be. They tend to take public blame for official missions going wrong or having lots of damage- it would have worked out if it weren't for those no good wannabes getting in the real heros way! Conversely, vigilantes are much more popular in, well, groups who have reason to not trust the police. Marginalized groups recognize that some guy doing this for no recognition are much more likely to actually have the people's best interest at heart than someone working for a global corporate police force. That isn't to say all vigilantes are angels, but there tends to be more solidarity between marginalized communities and their local vigilantes.

Villains... are interesting! They're dangerous criminals for sure, and the media certainly portrays them as such. But there's definitely a sort of... tendency to treat them as something of a wrestling heel (I think that's the term for the bad guy?)? You're definitely not supposed to like them, but people do tend to love hating the flashier, funner villains :) which is to say nothing of the romanticization of villains that happens lol. Think those dark mafia romance stories but with super villains. The fandom culture around heros and villains is very fun, from people keeping stats like it's sportball to full on tumblr fandom where people make fake accounts pretending to be popular heros and villains and discourse about the ethics of shipping heros (does it count as rpf if it's their hero persona?? It's not like theyre shipping the actual people behind the masks!)

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg idk how far along u are in the crown so pls feel free to answer this later but the press was droning ONNNNN about how both charles and diana r portrayed as equally to blame and i dont think that’s particularly true? 😭 yes i believe diana was given a much more complex character than shes usually afforded in biopic adjacent media (i actually gasped when they let her be as charismatic as we’re often told she was irl) but that doesnt mean it was a negative portrayal? even in her more “selfish” moments, and this might just be me being biased lol, but i was fully on her side. its almost like people dont think diana can be sympathetic if she actually fights back against the the system and the people that have trapped her 😭 this all being said i think charles’ portrayal was tooo positive…. but i dont expect less from PM

Lol the press is ridiculous.

The thing is that there absolutely are people who want to put Diana up on a pedestal as this poor little girl lost who had the best of intentions but was fragile and craaaazy and only acted out because other people (not the Windsors) manipulated her poor, silly self. That is what the Windsors are putting out there. That is what the press is playing into. Fuck, that's what William put out there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Martin Bashir acted entirely ethically; but frankly, if it hadn't been him, Diana would've eventually said that shit to someone else (and she PRETTY MUCH DID to Andrew Morton, lmao). She was spitting mad.

And the thing is? She had a right to be. Diana was seduced into a horrible marriage with a man 12 years her senior as a literal teenager. She had two kids with the man, was continuously gaslit by him, his mistress, his entirely family, most of their social circle... She wasn't perfect, and she had mental health issues that would've likely existed without Charles, but lmao. The woman was emotionally abused by those people for like... her entire marriage. Which covered most of her adulthood. She had a right to be angry.

If you think that her reacting and acting badly in turn is like... less sympathetic, you just have a very black and white view of the world. Someone can be very kind to those in need and have a mean streak towards people they clash with. Someone can be serious about charity work and enjoy the attention. All of these things can be true, and these things all existing in one person doesn't mean they're suddenly shitty lmao. You have to evaluate people (and their behaviors) as individuals.

Idk, to me Diana being selfish at points makes me more sympathetic to her than I would be if she were just a long-suffering angel. She was a fucking human being. She was very loving to her children (and most children), she was incredibly charismatic, she genuinely cared about serious issues and did what she could to bring attention to them... She also had a partygirl streak (lmao the company she kept--Elton John, George Michael, Gianni Versace, COME ON SHEEPLE), could be self-absorbed and catty, and was very needy. She was super genuinely hurt by these people, and knew how to play her audience like a fiddle. All of this... can be true. I think she was, at heart, a good but complicated person. And I appreciate that. That's why I am so fascinated by her--she's this goddess figure in the press, but when you research her she's deeply relatable. I loved that they brought shit up like her calling her stepmother Acid Raine. Anyone who's had a shitty stepmom can relate to that.

[findingmypeace]

10/2/2022

I’ve been babysitting for most of the day. I still have 3 hrs to go. It’s been pretty easy but also boring. It’s just one of the kids today (there’s two that still need supervision) and he’s not feeling the greatest (has a cold) so I’ve pretty much let him hang out and watch tv for most of the day. He’s also played his keyboard quite a bit. He’s getting pretty good at playing his keyboard. And then of course I’ve made him breakfast and lunch. One of the older kids is here-she’s 19 but she just broke her clavicle so she’s spent most of the day in her room. Outside of that it’s been a fairly calm day.

I think I might have found a new therapist. I found a website that lists all the psychologists in our county (not psychology today). K is listed on there as well. But right after her is someone who is trained in attachment and eating disorders and takes my new insurance. Over the past week I’ve looked at hundreds of profiles (this time on Psychology Today) and have not felt any connection or even any desire to work with them. None of them seemed to fit. But this therapist I found seems like the best fit I’m going to find.

I still want to ask K about the superbill but I’m beginning to think it’s probably not a good idea. I also pay for my dietitian out of pocket because insurance companies usually don’t cover dietitians for purposes of an eating disorder (which is stupid, imo). But between my dietitian and K I would be paying $1,200 a month at the beginning. Once I submit the single case agreement I will start getting reimbursed for sessions with K but insurance companies aren’t the most ethical companies so I’ll probably get reimbursed half or less than half of K’s actual fee. If that’s the case I will probably still be paying $1,200/month and being reimbursed $3-400 a month. Maybe $500 if I’m super lucky. That still leaves me paying between $900-$600 out of pocket each month. Unless, I just don’t have a dietitian. That would save me about $400 more a month. There is a small chance my new insurance would cover a dietitian, also through a superbill. I think I remember my dietitian saying something about that. But I could be wrong. The bottom line is that I’m just not quite sure I can afford to spend that much of my income on a therapist/dietitian. And, yet, I’m desperate to keep seeing K. I do kind of want to try it just to see how much the insurance company is willing to reimburse me but I wouldn’t be able to afford to start doing that until probably December by which time I should be caught up on my bills and be all signed up for my new insurance. I could try it and if it’s not affordable I would have to stop seeing K but I could see this new therapist I found.

I don’t know. Maybe how desperate I am is a sign I need to find someone new. But I don’t like that idea. I just wish this whole situation never happened. I felt really secure with K. I feel like this came out of the blue. And she told me the day after I stepped down from residential. And now I don’t have a therapist while I’m going through all of this transition and loss and right after discharge from treatment. I really don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be without therapy for the next two months. But there really isn’t anything else I can do, especially until I start getting a regular pay check and catch up with my bills.