#writing is fun but honestly bums me out when i read it back cos all i can think abt is how bad it is.

[delileaf]

officially decided i shant ever write again. decided i suck. if u need me ill be smoking a cigarette at the bus stop and lamenting .

[yamag00ps]

Tsukishima: 6, You: 5

pairing: tsukishima x reader

genre: friends to lovers, work relationship

contains: fluff

word count: 2.4k

summary: Being friends with Tsukishima Kei was essentially just a competition of who could get the last word.

a/n: this was really fun to write!!!! now where are my bitches who love the i hate everyone but you trope <3<3<3 enjoy :-)

"This idea was yours, you know?"

A voice spoke up behind you as you looked into the updated exhibit. You couldn't quite read his tone. You looked over your shoulder to see Tsukishima Kei standing behind you, playing with the cuffs of his button-up. You turned back to the exhibit before answering.

"Ah. You see, I was starting to think I just manifested it into existence."

"Yeah, I kept hearing this nagging voice in the back of my head for the past two weeks. Funny, you sound just like it."

The offended look on your face disappeared as he walked up next to you with a small smile on his face.

A month ago, you started your new job as a new tour guide at the local history museum. Tsukishima was one of the exhibit designers. Although you were only a tour guide, you were always vocal about your opinions on the displays and layouts of the different exhibits to your co-workers, hoping to work your way up to his position. Tsukishima would overhear these conversations and initially be irritated until he realized that your critiques were actually quite useful. You began to notice your own suggestions coming to life in the exhibits. On this particularly slow day at the museum, Tsukishima surprisingly sparked a conversation with you first.

"Tsukishima Kei. Exhibit designer." He held a hand out to you with a glint in his eyes. You bit back a smile and shook his hand.

"L/N, F/N. Tour guide. Future exhibit designer." His eyebrows raised in amusement.

Tsukishima Kei: 0, You: 1

This was only the start of your unique friendship with Tsukishima Kei.

The next six months consisted of many exchanges of ideas, lingering gazes across exhibits, late nights at the museum, and constant banter. It was always a competition of who could get the last word.

Despite your love-hate relationship, you were very supportive of one another. Tsukishima would honestly ask for your input when drafting layouts and frequently joined visitors on your tours. During the tours, he pretended to hate whenever you would call him out in the crowd for designing a certain exhibit (he would never tell you, but he appreciated it every time).

"This particular exhibit was actually designed by that tall, handsome man in the back, Mr. Tsukishima Kei! If you have any questions I'm sure he'd love to answer them." You winked at him every time.

Tsukishima Kei: 0, You: 2

He stated that he only joined your tours because he wanted to hear what visitors had to say about his work, which was partly true. But, even more than that, he enjoyed adored watching you in action. He found your passion and enthusiasm endearing and calming, especially on stressful days. The two of you grew close as you worked—always taking breaks at the same time and staying after to leave together. Despite the teasing and the banter, both of you cherished this unique friendship dearly.

As the time passed, it seemed that your hard work and ideas did not go unnoticed, as you were finally offered an exhibit designer position! The director called you in early that morning to meet with you and formally offer you the promotion. As you walked out of her office, your hands were already fumbling to call the only person that came to mind.

"Hello?"

“Morning! You’re late.”

“My train was delayed. Wait, don’t you have the night shift?”  

"I, uh, lost my tour guide position.” Tsukishima stopped in his tracks.

“..What?”

“Yeah, kinda bummed. I was pretty good at it, don’t you think?”

He couldn’t understand your tone. He wouldn’t admit it, but he hoped you’d be at least a little more upset that you wouldn’t be working together anymore.

“Y-yeah. Wait. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Time for me to move on to better things, you know?” Ouch.

“But-”

“Hey, Kei? Exhibit designer to exhibit designer, are we supposed to be rivals now?" He could practically hear the smile on your face.

Tsukishima Kei: 0, You: 3

At that exact moment, Tsukishima walked through the entrance of the building. Your eyes met and he hoped you didn’t notice the wave of relief washing over him.

“You’re an idiot,” he stood at the entrance, still talking to you on the phone.

“I believe the correct term is exhibit designer,” you mused.

"Oh god, no.." he groaned, slowly walking up to you with a smirk on his face. “Oh, yes,” you fired back. Unable to contain your excitement any longer, you hung up the phone and ran to him, stopping in front of him abruptly. He cocked a brow, waiting for you to explain as you held your hands behind your back.

"Sooooo.. I guess the director liked my ideas and..um, you know. Thought I’d be a fantastic fit or something," you shrugged nonchalantly, "You know, no biggie, it's whatever." Your efforts to hide the giddy smile on your face were useless. His smile mirrored yours, growing bigger and bigger with every word you spoke. You raised your eyebrows, awaiting his reaction.

He shook his head and marveled at you. I always want to see you this happy, he thought.

Tsukishima Kei: 0, You: 4

He stayed silent, wanting to see how long it would take for you to start pouting. He lived to drag reactions out of you. But this time, the look on his face ratted him out. His eyes softened as he took you in. Ever since the day you met, he found that this happened often. The walls he built to shut people out were no match for the sound of your voice, the feel of your head on his shoulder, or the endearing smile on your face whenever your eyes met his from across the room. He was putty in your hands and you didn’t even know it.

"Well?" You poked his chest, becoming impatient. He chuckled and grabbed your hands, pulling you in for a hug. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he buried you into his chest.

"You loser. You're amazing,” he sighed and rested his chin on the top of your head. “I mean, I’m not surprised. But I'm really proud of you.” He paused. “But don’t scare me like that,” he mumbled. Your heart warmed at his sincerity.

"Aw, Kei, you're hugging me,” you cooed and held him tighter. You tried to move back to look up at him only for him to push your head back into his chest.

"Yeah, I just don't want to see your face when I'm saying nice things to you.”

"Tsk," you swatted at his arm but snuggled into him anyway. “You know what? I’ll take it. Thank you, Kei.” He kept an arm hooked around you and used his free hand to lightly flick the top of your head.

"Alright, get to work you two! Y/N, congrats on the promotion." The museum director passed by, giving both of you a knowing smile. You quickly stepped away from each other as you thanked her with a pink tint on your cheeks. You began to turn away from Tsukishima until he grabbed your hand.

"We're getting dinner later."

"Oh, we don't have t—"

"I want to. Now, come on. Can't have my co-exhibit designer slacking off on their first day," his tone attempted to be stern as he pulled you towards the staff room.

"You really are so sweet," you teased but happily followed anyway.

"Shut up."

Tsukishima Kei: 0, You: 5

Now, you were sitting across the same man you love to hate at your favorite restaurant.

"I have an idea." The dumb smirk you've grown to love appeared on Tsukishima's face. You loved when he was like this. His playful demeanor was a stark contrast to his usual stoic expression. You had the two glasses of wine to thank for that.

You raised an eyebrow telling him to go on.

"I think this celebration calls for some free dessert," he leaned in to tell you this as if he was letting you in on a secret.

"What do you mean free?"

He grabbed your hand resting on the table.

"I'm going to borrow this." He started pulling off one of your rings.

"Wh—"

"Shhh, just go with it." Keeping your hand in his, he moved off of his seat and knelt down in front of you. Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets as you started whisper yelling at him to get up. This worked to his advantage as your shock only made it look more real.

"Oh my god. Kei, no," you tried to say sternly as you leaned down to him, but the alcohol in your system threw you into a fit of nervous giggles. You looked around the restaurant in a panic, hiding your face in your hands until he pulled one down and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

The pure amusement on his face contrasted with the sincere look in his eyes. The blush on your face boosted his ego more than he cared to admit.

You attempted to scold him again. “Tsukishima Kei, if you don’t get up right n—“

To your dismay, your waitress came over to your table and gasped at the scene unfolding in front of her. One by one, everyone’s attention turned to the blonde-haired man down on one knee. Tsukishima dropped his head and laughed, trying to hide the blush on his face. He cursed under his breath. Fuck. Suddenly the alcohol was wearing off. What has he done?

You lifted his chin up with your free hand, forcing him to look up at you again.

“You better put on a show for them,” you challenged him, knowing he hated this kind of attention. He noted the proximity between your faces and the way you squeezed his hand as a form of reassurance. The sparkle in your eyes was all it took for him to collect himself again. The people near you began shushing everyone else around them.

Well. Now or never, he thought. This will be easy.

He took a deep breath as you looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to chicken out.

“L/N, F/N. I fell for you the moment we met.”

Oh.

Tsukishima Kei: 1, You: 5

Your heart clenched at his words, but you quickly shook the feeling. This was just for a free dessert, right?

“Oh, really now?” You thought back to that moment and snickered under your breath, only for him to hear. He squeezed your hand, silently telling you to shut up. This only made you giggle more.

“You are my light. My life only works with you in it,” he announced.

Your breath hitched. Now that shut you up.

Tsukishima Kei: 2, You: 5

“I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you make me."

Tsukishima Kei: 3, You: 5

“I love you. Your wit, your humor, your passion, your drive.. your kindness. All of it.”

Tsukishima Kei: 4, You: 5

“That’s enough,” you whispered and started shaking your head. You knew this was just for show, but why did hearing his words set a fire in you? Why was your heart aching?

“I fall in love with you more and more everyday. I’ll fall harder tomorrow and even harder the day after that. Please give me all of your tomorrows. Please marry me.”

Damn, he was good.

Tsukishima Kei: 5, You: 5

Your eyes began to water. Where was this coming from? Is he actually that good of an actor? Your expression was a mixture of confusion, shock, and a hint of irritation. Unable to comprehend any of your feelings, you shook your head and remembered that you had to play along for that goddamn dessert.

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes!” you nodded, trying not to look too enthusiastic about this fake proposal. Everyone around you erupted into cheers, the flash of numerous phones and cameras blinding you. Tsukishima put the ring on your finger and chuckled as he stood up and pulled you in for a hug, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You laughed into his chest at the insanity of it all.

“I’m sorry if that was t—“ Whatever he was saying was cut short by the crowd around you.

“Oh come on, give her a real kiss!” “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” “Kiss her!”

You groaned and felt his laughter erupt through his chest. Pulling back to look at him, you shook your head in disbelief. He lightly held onto your waist and pulled you close, his forehead resting onto yours.

“We really don’t have to, not if it makes you uncomfortable,” he assured you.

“Pft, you’re not the only one who can put on a show,” you quipped. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the alcohol—whatever it was, you surrendered to it as you pulled him down by his collar and crashed your lips into his. You tasted the wine on his lips, savoring every second in case you would never get the opportunity again. After a few seconds, you began to pull away only for him to attach his lips onto yours again. One of his hands cupped your face while the other gripped your waist, not wanting you to pull away just yet. You matched his fervor, losing yourself in him.

The cheers in the restaurant quickly brought you back down to earth as you pulled away and hid your face in his chest again. He chuckled and rubbed the sides of your arms, soothing you. You pulled back to look at him with a small smile on your face.

“So you do know how to be nice to me,” you gushed, breaking the tension.

“I am nice to you!” He scoffed.

“Yeah but not that nice,” you teased, pulling him down to you again. Tsukishima shook his head and left a kiss on your cheek.

“You kissed me first,” he reminded you, mumbling against your cheek.

“Hm.. Guess you’ll just have to kiss me first next time,” you gave him a quick peck. Before he could pull you in again, your waitress arrived with two pieces of chocolate cake with the words Congrats! drizzled on the plate next to a heart. You pulled away from him to thank the waitress and the people around you, allowing them to go back to their meals. He pulled your chair out for you, ignoring the smug look on your face.

Before taking his seat, he leaned down and murmured against your ear, “There better be a next time,” leaving you a blushing mess.

“Next time” ended up being an hour later against the front door of your apartment. From then on, there were a lot of “next times.”

Tsukishima Kei: 6, You: 5

----------------------------------------

a/n: wait and then in the future after you two actually get married, you end up have two “wedding” anniversaries hehe and he always makes sure to celebrate both but he’ll never admit that he highkey loves celebrating the fake one more than the real one because it was such a sweet memory :p AW tsukki

[dopposhusband]

I know I say it all the time, but I wanted to tell you directly for once: I think the stuff you write is genuinely great! Whether it be a few headcanons, a fic or a description of one of your AUs, I really love them! They're well written and always interesting to read, so thank you for posting your stuff! I'll always be looking forward to more! Once again, I have another question about your boys! Do you have some friendship HCs? Either between them or in general? ^^

@yokairu​ Youre the absolute sweetest!! It means the world to read that, I owe you so much, thank you! I wrote a whole thing about Doppo having friends once at three in the morning and its been sitting in my drafts for a few weeks so I thought the ideas I had there would be interesting here! I also put a lil hc what I think being friends with them would be like too!

Doppo doesn’t really have any friends outside of Jakurai and Hifumi which is a huge shame because I think he could get along with everyone! He really deserves more people to care about him!

💼 Dice inviting Doppo to try a more adventurist life for a night, have the two go gambling and drinking together. I just want Doppo to be able to loosen up and have some fun and I also want Dice to understand just how much of Doppos apology loops come from such an abusive work life. They’re complete opposites and they could learn something from each other!!!

💼 Doppo being a big brother figure for Ichiro, Doppo is literally the walking definition of exhaustion and having to take care of two baby brothers must’ve been tough on Ichiro. So Doppo can understand having to hide more negative emotions from his years hiding them from co-workers, managers, customers, and maybe even his own younger brother. Doppo might not be able to help carry the burden Ichiro has but let him give him like a nice lil head pat, tell him hes doing a great job!!!

💼 Also speaking of buster bros, Jiro and Saburo??? Like imagine Doppo teaching Saburo how to use Microsoft Excel!! Jiro catching Doppo on his lunch break and begging him to buy him lunch too, then Doppo complaining about how much his job sucks and Jiro giving him some of the worst career advice ever.

💼 Rio teaching him how to make all kinds of drinks and foods he can eat to relieve his stress and tension. Just Doppo out in the woods to clear his mind from the bustle of the city, taking in fresh air and just relaxing. Having someone like Rio who isn’t too talkative but is always willing to let him vent then after hes let it all out he can just lie back and look at the stars!!

💼 Even though Ramuda and Matenrou are on very tense terms but having him make clothes for Doppo. It could just be something small like a nicely designed tie but it’d be enough because itd liven him up knowing that this is something no one else in the world has!! And just having him model for Ramuda at all, it would be such a good boost to his self esteem and hed get to wear all kinds of pretty outfits!!

💼 DOPPO BOOK CLUB!!! DOPPO BOOK CLUB!!! On Doppos days off he host a book club with Gentaro and Rosho! They all talk about books they’ve read, Doppo usually only talks about chapters rather than full books because he rarely has time to read. Gentaro constantly lying about the ending of a book to goof on Rosho and Doppo but always feeling a little bad when Doppo takes it seriously and gets all bummed that it was taking him too long to finish.

💼 Sasara the funny clown man trying his damnedest to make Doppo laugh at one of his jokes!! The salaryman is sad too much he deserves a good laugh too and sometimes Sasaras funny so its perfect!!

👔 Being friends with Doppo changes the longer you know him, at first he’ll be very nervous and overly considerate, but after a long while he’ll eventually relax. He worries a lot about being a burden or about you thinking being friends with him is an obligation so you’ll have to be the one to initiate conversation with him at the beginning. Once he feels confidant that you really care about him then comes the second hurdle of him feeling terrible about never having any time. Time is an issue for Doppo but he tries his hardest to always answer whatever texts you send him and he always extends an invitation to you whenever he can! Slowly, he’ll also be more open about his emotions, not like he isn’t already but he’ll be less worried about expressing them. He’ll be less indecisive on vocalizing his annoyance if you do something that bothers him or if you’re doing something stupid alongside Hifumi. He’ll still be apologetic but less so when it comes to him keeping his ground because you guys are close enough for him not to worry about bending over backwards. Its all a long process but if you do make it to the end you have a very loving friend who is just glad to have you around!

Ichiro needs more people to hang out with, people he can de-stress with when he’s away from his brothers. MC BIG BRO DESERVES A BREAK!

🎧 I know I ship with IchiDice but the two would make great boyfriends and regular friends! Ichiro tends to avoid things that he’s too young so he can’t go gambling instead he gets Dice addicted to a gatcha games. Dice isnt huge on the anime stuff but he sure loves hitting those SSRs! The two are always talking about their pulls, bragging about the good and complaining about the bad almost 24/7. On the other side though when a day gets too stressful Dice is more than okay to listen to Ichiro vent a little, although it is rare and its not like Dice gives good advice but its nice to have an outlet. In return Ichiro always lets Dice crash at his place whenever he hits a massive losing streak.

🎧 Ramuda constantly complains about Ichiro and his brothers clothes so he has an excuse to make them new ones. He also loves texting Ichiro just to chat, always using stickers and litters his texts with emoticons.  。.:☆*:･'(*⌒―⌒*))) °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) ヽ(￣ω￣(。。 )ゝ

🎧 Okay, now hear me out, Rio and Ichiro. It’s the strangest combination but Rio is just such a sweetheart, after the DRB he came over to the Yamada household to check up on them and bring them food. After a little while of gaining his trust Ichiro would slowly warm up to him, I mean he helped with chores and cooked for them. (Even tho the food is a little suspicious being made literally anything) It must be hard to take care of two kids when you’re still a kid too so Rio wants to try and help a little.

🎧 I think there isn’t enough of a focus on him being on good terms with Jakurai and the two being friends. Like Rio, Jakurai worries about Ichiro and how much of his childhood was taken away from him so whenever the two are together he tries to take up the responsibility of paying or driving so he can relax. He takes him and his brothers out fishing occasionally, how much they catch depends on how much Jiro and Saburo argue though.

🔴 Ichiro is an absolutely amazing friend to have! Although his brotherly instincts can make him a little overbearing sometimes, always inviting you over for dinner or reprimanding you if you do something a bit more reckless. He loves involving people in his interests so if you even hint about anime or hip hop he’s on you in a second to drop everything he knows about the subjects, he has whole list of series, artists, and light novels he can’t wait to share! Of course he loves to hear about whatever you’re interested in at the time too and tries to get into it too! Day offs or slow days are anime days so be prepared to get hit with a spam of messages from Ichiro to watch that anime he kept talking about!

Dice travels literally all over the place, he deserves to know pretty much everyone, honestly.

🎲 Jiro and him are some rowdy boys, they get into all kinds of trouble! Whenever Jiro goes tagging sometimes Dice will tag along if he’s too broke to be gambling. If Jiro has any extra cash on him he’ll take Dice to get something cheap to eat since he can’t have him starving himself. Honestly, Dice is like having another older brother except he’s more embarrassing than Ichiro could ever dream to be.

🎲 He usually ends up seeing Samatoki at some of the casinos around Yokohama and like the true idiot he immediately begs for money, not the smartest thing to do to a yakuza but this is Dice. After being yelled a firm no, he’ll usually bum a smoke off him and the two will chat for a little. Sometimes if Samatoki is feeling friendly he’ll tell Dice about any gambling rings happening and if hes being even friendlier he’ll warn him about the dangers too.

🎲 Jyuto and him have run into each other a couple times although it was mainly him having to be escorted off private property. Every time Jyuto gets a call about about someone trespassing he gets so exhausted the moment he shows up and its just Dice again. After being pretend arrested Dice always ends up begging Jyuto to drive him to Rios camp.

🎲 Hifumi has found Dice in the alleyways he takes to the train station, the two usually chat on the way back to his apartment because Dice can’t say no to Hifumi’s cooking. After eating everything Hifumi would make him he’d usually either beg for gambling money or just enough to get back home. Although, on winning days he’ll visit the club, request Hifumi and a champagne call as thanks for feeding him with an extra bonus of downing a whole bottle of champagne. 

🎰 Congratulations you have gotten your very own stray cat! Dice is constantly coming and going so don’t be surprised to wake up and find him sleeping on your doorstep or couch if you gave him a key. He’ll be looking to you for food and the occasional pity 10,000 bills because he swears THE NEXT ONE IS THE WIN PLEASE. You never have to worry about telling him no though, his ability to go from groveling to standing on his feet to just chat is at a record speed. He usually spends his time gambling but if you can’t then he’s more than fine just talking a walk through the town pointing out places where he won or places he lost everything and had to hide while he waited for Gentaro. Past all the begging he’s a funky boy here for a good time and when he hits that 777 you are definitely one of the first people he goes to when its time to celebrate! 

[aaknopf]

The poet Quan Barry is also a fiction writer, whose mischievous We Ride Upon Sticks has just been published. In the fall of 1989, the seniors on the losing Danvers Falcons field hockey team avail themselves of some locally-sourced Salem witchery, in the hope of concocting a winning season. They make a pact, signing their names in a spiral notebook with Emilio Estevez on the cover, and rip and tie strips of Falcons-blue tube sock around all their arms, sealing their dark bond. In the scene below (which includes a special guest appearance by the poet Philip Larkin), the team mingles with members of the football team at their favorite pizza joint. We meet one of the more mysterious players, Girl Cory, so-called because there’s also a Boy Cory on the squad; Boy Cory’s story, like that of Girl Cory, their teammates Jen Fiorenza (whose awesome, high-teased bangs are known to all as “the Claw”), Abby Putnam (ancestor of an original Salem accuser), and others in the mix here, is a journey of identity, community, and the magic of high school friendships.

from We Ride Upon Sticks

“Our butts are going to States this year,” said Jen. “Where are your butts going?” Just then Girl Cory walked in. For a moment the air in Rocco’s filled with the scent of aquamarine waters and palm trees, the harmonies of steel drums, then just as quickly it was back to cheese pizza and the crackling of the deep fryer. “ ’Sup?” Log called out. Most guys at Danvers High didn’t talk to Girl Cory. From what we could glean of teen-boy-dom it seemed most teen boys only have a finite amount of confidence, and they couldn’t afford to go blowing it willy-nilly on a hopeless case like Girl Cory. It was plain to see she was out of everyone’s league. Most people accepted this. It was pure science, like the apple falling from the tree. Girls like Girl Cory didn’t date regular human boys. Historically, since the invention of written records in the girls’ third-floor bathroom concerning who was banging whom, Girl Cory had never dated anyone at Danvers High. Mostly she left in her wake a trail of names from the local private-school universe, places like the Prep, Pingree, even some faraway boy at Deerfield. Log’s “ ’Sup?” was still hanging in the air. Only he among his brethren had confidence to burn. Little did he know but “ ’Sup?” was an excellent question, one we’d been secretly wondering all our lives. Yeah, Girl Cory, what’s up? As she stood at the counter, Girl Cory nodded at Log but didn’t say a word or even take off her Ray-Bans. “And what does your soon-to-be captain have to say about you hosers going to States?” whispered Brian Robinson in a small voice, only looking at Girl Cory indirectly via a shiny plaque mounted on the wall, as if she were a Medusa with the power to transform flesh to stone. “Which is it?” he said. “You guys going to States, or 2-8 again?” “For your information, we haven’t voted for captain yet,” said Jen. Her Claw gave him the stink eye. Rocco’s adult son Vinny slammed her order down on the counter. Ceremoniously, she rose to retrieve her Diet Coke and two slices of Hawaiian. She noticed Log Winters was still staring at Girl Cory. “Take a picture, my friend,” she said, bending over and whispering in Log’s ear. “It’ll last longer.” Then she raised her voice so that all of Rocco’s could partake in the annunciation. “Besides, Cory already has a boyfriend.” “Who’s that?” said Log. “Nobody you’d know,” Jen projected. “He sent her flowers today. Isn’t that right, Cory?” Girl Cory turned and flashed Jen a look that simultaneously said both shut up and keep talking. She was an enigma like that. Honestly, none of us really knew her. Even now that we were all part of the sisterhood of the blue sweat sock, it was like she had constructed a wall to keep us out, a sunroom off the kitchen where she could sit and drink her Earl Grey in peace while the rest of us crowded around a plate of stale bagels in the breakfast nook. Girl Cory pulled a wad of napkins from the dispenser and went over to where Little Smitty was sitting with Mel. What’s up, Girl Cory? All season long, the rest of us standing around wondering, Girl Cory. What. Is. Up? And then one day we’d take a big juicy bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge, and to our everlasting sorrow, we’d find out. “Philip” made his first appearance during the ’88 season shortly after Girl Cory passed her driver’s test. It was late October, one of those autumn days when the afternoon sky prematurely takes on a hazy shade of winter. We were just off the school bus after returning from a massacre in Gloucester, 4-0. Truthfully, the score didn’t accurately reflect the gutting we’d endured at the hands of the Gloucester Fishermen. The two senior co-captains, Gina Packer and Mary Ellen Sommers, had gotten into a fight during the coin toss over whether to pick heads or tails. At one point, Gina reached over and ran her finger through the blue face paint where Mary Ellen had spackled the letters DHS on her cheek. We winced. It was like watching someone ruin a beautifully frosted cake. When we finally arrived back at Danvers High, Julie Kaling stopped reciting that part of the Nicene Creed about God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, her crucifix glinting in the dark of the bus. To be honest, after the kind of outing it had been, some of us found her religious yammering weirdly comforting. We’d grabbed our stuff from the locker room and headed out to wait for our moms to come get us or to bum rides with the seniors who lived in our neighborhoods. Girl Cory had hit the two-fecta, having recently passed her driver’s test and been given her own wheels to boot. Her brand-new white Fiero was parked in the student lot. The Fiero had been purchased weeks before her driving test and was just sitting around in her multi-car garage collecting dust. Driving was still a novelty to her, the monogrammed fingerless gloves still fun to slip on. That day she was giving Abby Putnam a ride home. It was Abby who pointed out the mint-green envelope stuck under the windshield wipers. Girl Cory peeled the envelope off the wet glass and held it between her fingers like a dead roach. “This is a wicked bummer,” she said. “Can you get ticketed here?” Abby shook her head. She watched as her friend tore open the soggy envelope. Girl Cory’s face betrayed nothing. If anything, she looked a little more bloodless. “Lemme see,” said Abby. She took the slip of paper in her hands and stared for a long time at the blurred writing, the washed-out words as if painted in watercolor. Roses are Red— Your Fiero—it’s White— With seating for two. Don’t! Put up a fight—take me with you! The next day before practice we showed the letter around. Heather Houston performed a close reading on it worthy of a 5 on the AP English test. She commented on the juvenile use of the Dickinsonian em dash, the strange imperatives, the elisions, the contradictory tone of both fight and flight. “Whoever wrote this is not playing with a full deck,” she concluded, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “It doesn’t even make sense. Like this part. ‘Don’t!’ Don’t what? Use your words, people!” She was practically spitting she was so worked up about it. Poor Heather Houston took weak syntactical choices as a personal affront. Julie Kaling patted her comfortingly on the back. “I dunno, I think it’s sweet,” said Little Smitty softly. This was back in the days before Emilio and the blue tube sock, back when Little Smitty ate all the spinach on her plate happily with a big smile as though it were cotton candy. “What I will say,” said Heather, offering a second conclusion about the note, “is Philip Larkin he is not.” Becca Bjelica looked at AJ Johnson and silently mouthed, Philip who? We were all thinking the same thing. Nobody rolled their eyes at her. How were we supposed to know some curmudgeonly British poet, even one who’d written: They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. And thus “Philip” was born. That first year “Philip” mostly left little things lying around in plain sight, like a cat who brings its owner dead robins. A tube of Chanel lipstick without the actual lipstick in it. A box of chocolates, but instead of sweets slotted in each compartment, there were rocks. Girl Cory took it all in stride. We didn’t tell anyone in the adult world because what was there to say? Some poor slob had the hots for a girl so beautiful she should have been in a music video, and he left her crazy presents? Back then the word “stalker” wasn’t really part of anyone’s vocabulary. Fatal Attraction had come out the year before, but that was just stuff that happened to sexy creeps like Michael Douglas, who banged complete strangers and mostly had it coming. And so Girl Cory learned to live with it. And so we learned to live vicariously through her. In time, we began to look forward to “Philip’s” offerings. They made us feel like maybe somewhere down the road, somebody, anybody, might possibly want us. Even the time he dropped a note in her schoolbag that said, “I hate you, you stupid peckerhead,” and signed it “Much l♥ve.” We were a bunch of mostly inexperienced teen girls. We thought that’s what true romance was supposed to look like. A boy telling a girl she was a stupid peckerhead, but she was his stupid peckerhead. Lord, make us worthy, we prayed. God from God, Light from Light, Boyfriend from Boy Who Considers Us a Peckerhead. It seemed like the thing to ask for. None of us ever thought to pray for a better caliber of boy.

More on this book and author:

Learn more about We Ride Upon Sticks by Quan Barry

Browse other books by Quan Barry including her four poetry collections published in the Pitt Poetry Series

Read the full text of Philip Larkin's "This Be the Verse" at the Poetry Foundation

Peruse other poems, audio recordings, and broadsides in the Knopf poem-a-day series 

To share the poem-a-day experience with friends, pass along this link.

[gotatext]

by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times.... 

「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day. 

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming….. 

she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.

massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her 

isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. 

not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.

old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way.  little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.

likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.

super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man

her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

wanted plots

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!! 

since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships

 girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? 

she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. 

ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with

 ppl who she runs track with. 

someone she’s trying to make a zine with. 

here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you’d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

[desolateice]

Fic Questionnaire

Tagged by @usaonetwothree

How many works do you have on Ao3?

5

What's your total AO3 word count?

362,752 

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 

I’ll just do the ones on AO3

Karate Kid (current WIP)

Marvel Cinematic Universe/Captain America

Hannibal

Free! 

Sailor Moon

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

I only have 5 on Ao3...so err...I’m going to do the top 2

Not Enough Scotch for this Matchmaking Scheme- 499

Root Beer Floats and Green Tea- 338

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

It depends.

If people have questions I always try and answer them. (Depending on the question, some feel like they’re rhetorical or might lead to me spoiling something so I don’t answer those.)

Like I was asked for the smoothie recipe from Not Enough Scotch so I answered that. I do research so I’m always down for sharing the research. 

But I get a little overwhelmed. I don’t know what to say usually in response.

Comments always delight me and brighten my day. I like to talk about the story but I just don’t know how to go about it.

However, I want to with my current WIP, the problem is time. For my last two fics I challenged myself to a very intense writing/posting schedule. So right now it’s: do I keep up the chapter a day or do I respond to comments the way I want to?

I’ve picked writing at the moment. But I do want to respond to the comments I’ve gotten on this one. Everyone’s been very sweet. So I'm hoping to when I finish writing.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? 

I tend to promise happy endings because I can’t handle angsty endings. Now the beginning and middle? All the angst. Also a sprinkle of horror sometimes. With the current fic that would probably be the nightmares. 

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can think of.

Do you write smut? 

For fic, not yet? For original works, I have but not all that often.

My current WIP is rated M, I don’t understand what the difference really is or where the line is between M and E, but we’re a long way off (maybe?) before I decide where I’m going with that.

We’ll see how it goes. Because I’ve never written a fic with an above T rating before. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. But who knows what’s happened to those old fics I haven’t gone back and checked on.

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

Not that I’m aware of. Again I have some that I’ve stopped paying attention to. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

No. I used to try and co-write original works as like a fun challenge but I learned that it can be really difficult. Kudos to those who can and do.

What's your all time favorite ship?

You can’t beat a classic schooner or Junk. I think if I could buy one/afford one I’d go for a kayak. 🛶 (ha, actual boat jokes, sorry.)

Honestly too many.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I always finish my fics. If I’m going to share it it’s either going to be a one shot or I’m going to put in the work to complete it. Which is why it completely derails the rest of my life. (Read: currently have no free time thus answering this has taken me like all week and why I haven't responded to comments for the most part.)

I get so crushed when I read something and it’s indefinitely unfinished. No one owes me a finished fic and every writer is different. I just get a little bummed, so when I started writing fic I promised myself I’d always finish what I started. 

Now original works...yeah that’s like all of them. I was in the middle of writing a novel when I started watching Cobra Kai and then fell down a rabbit hole and this fic happened. But if other people are actively reading something I make sure to finish it. All my original wips don’t have active readers just very busy friends reading at the pace of a sloth (I say this affectionately because I know they’re busy) so they tend to fall off the wayside. 

What are your writing strengths? 

Food? Does food count? I grew up reading a lot of fics with those elaborated food scenes (Redwall and like a bazillion others). So almost all my fics have food or drink in the titles and then usually some food in it. (Which I noticed only recently the correlation between what I grew up reading and how it’s influenced my work)

Right now I’m challenging myself to the slowest most molasse slow burn I’ve ever written. I think it’s going well. 

A balance between sweet and scary?

Evoking emotion I think is what I’m looking for. I’ve been crying a lot with the current fic and based of the comments, readers have been too. 

What are your writing weaknesses? 

Staying in the right tense. The amount of times I go back and find I’ve switched tense is really frustrating. It’s usually because I was writing at different times. I also should read it out loud to catch grammar and spelling but I don’t. So...sorry in advance.

You would not believe the amount of times I find “teh” instead of “the”. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?  Context: I don’t mind reading fics with dialogue in another language if it’s minor, very easily understood from context, or it’s translated right after. But if I have to scroll down to the bottom to read the translations then somehow scroll back to where I was without reading anything spoilery in the process, I’m not gonna be happy.

I’ve had more of that in this current WIP and I’m trying to find a balance. I’m trying to keep it all very minor. We’ll see how it goes. I don't mind.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

I don’t remember. Again there’s some on some other site I haven’t touched in years.

Although...I was given an assignment at school to continue a book in our English class so it might actually have been “the Outsiders”, just no one except my English teacher read that one. (I got an A :P)

What's your favorite fic you've ever written? 

I’ve been trying to do different things lately. To challenge myself. Originally I’d write fic because I got miffed at the story and needed to “fix it”. But these last two have been more fun? So Not Enough Scotch I wanted to try and cram as many romantic/rom com tropes into a fic as possible. And it was really fun to like take a different chapter and try and test it out. 

But honestly I’m having a ton of fun with my current fic. I like traveling so fitting travel and research in and then food that’s special to those places and cooking is just nice. Plus I’m usually impatient so it’s like a good challenge for myself to slow down and enjoy the scenic route instead of running head first into...well in this case the ship getting together.

Plus I’m not suffering alone. It’s shared. Which, aren’t some of the best journeys shared?

Tagging: If you write fic and you see this and haven’t done it consider yourself tagged. 😊

[weekendwarriorblog]

The Weekend Warrior 11/20/20 – SOUND OF METAL, MANGROVE, RUN, EMBATTLED, COLLECTIVE, VANGUARD and More!

There are some really great movies out this week, oddly two of them being from Amazon Studios, although only one will be on Prime Video this week, while you’ll have to wait until after Thanksgiving for another. Honestly, I’m a little freaked out by the fact that next week is Thanksgiving, and normally I’d be pulling my hair out trying to figure out the box office in what’s always a difficult week to predict. As of now, I’m kind of giving up on box office for a while – just like Governor Cuomo (rimshot) -- so hopefully you’re able to enjoy some of these reviews and find some movies to enjoy out there. I’m just sitting here waiting for the last shoe to drop. (Not sure what’s weirder this week, that four of the movies premiered at the Toronto Film Festival last year or that four of the movies are directorial debuts.)

Although I already reviewed Mangrove, the first film in Steve McQueen’s “Small Axe Anthology,” when it played at the New York Film Festival a few months back, it will finally hit Amazon Prime Video this Friday. If you hadn’t heard or don’t remember from when I first wrote about it, “Small Axe” is McQueen’s five-film anthology that’s set within London’s West Indian community, exploring the issues they’ve had with the racist London police from the late ‘60s to the ‘80s.  (I’ve only seen three of the movies but Mangrove is clearly the best, in my opinion, although all three have warranted repeat viewings.)

Mangrove actually works pretty well as its own standalone movie, starring Shaun Parkes as Frank Crichlow, owner of the title club that becomes as local community hang-out for the West Indian community. It’s also the target of violence and racist police, led by Sam Spruell’s PC Pulley, who are constantly raiding Frank’s establishment making it impossible for him to do business. The community circles around Frank, joined by young Black Panther activist Altheia Jones, played by Black Panther’s Letitian Wright. They eventually decide to protest, which leads to a conflict with the police, and of course, Frank and the other black people at the otherwise peaceful march end up having to go to court to defend themselves.

Since I’ve already reviewed the movie – and you can read that review at the link above – I won’t go too much further, but honestly, if you saw and enjoyed The Trial of the Chicago 7, you need to see McQueen’s film, which in my opinion, handles history that’s far tougher and is far less known in the States in a similarly brilliant way.  I’m a little bummed that being a part of an “anthology” that isn’t getting a theatrical release, we’re not going to hear Mangrove discussed until next year’s Emmys, I assume, but it’s some of McQueen’s best work with an incredibly engaging ensemble cast that keeps you invested for the entire two hours. (The next two chapters, Lovers Rock and Red, White and Blue will be on Amazon Prime Video on November 27 and December 4 respectively.)

(Also, I will have an interview with filmmaker Steve McQueen over at Below the Line very soon.)

Since I’ve already reviewed Mangrove, I’m going to go with Darius Marder’s SOUND OF METAL (Amazon Original) this week’s “Featured Flick.” This is a movie that I feel like I’ve been hearing a lot about over the past few months but actually, it’s one of three movies in this week’s Weekend Warrior that premiered over a year ago at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Riz Ahmed from The Night Of and Nightcrawlers plays Ruben Stone, drummer in a loud touring metal band with his girlfriend Lou (Olivia Cooke), but Ruben’s loud playing style is finally taking its toll, as he has practically lost all of his hearing. Unable to communicate with Lou or play, Ruben agrees to spend time in a camp for the deaf to learn how to survive without hearing where he’s kept in line by his tough counselor, Joe.

I assumed I’d like this movie because it takes place in the world of music, but it’s not really about the music. In fact, I was a little puzzled when my screener seemed to have subtitles stuck on, and I couldn’t figure out why that would be. Well, it certainly makes sense as the film goes along as Marder and his sound team start playing with the sound to give you some idea what Ruben is and isn’t hearing. It’s probably one of the more masterful uses of sound I’ve seen in a movie in quite some time.

And yet, it doesn’t do anything to take away from Ahmed’s amazing performance as a young musician who has issues with violence and addiction and frustration with the fact he can no longer hear Lou. At first, Ruben looks into possibly getting some sort of hearing aids although the surgery needed so that he could hear again would cost upwards of $40,000, which is money he doesn’t have. He agrees to go into the camp where he finds himself in sign language class with a group of far younger kids. Ruben obviously has a hard time adjusting to his new environment, especially since it separates him from Lou and the outside world.

It’s interesting to note that the original story is from Derek Cinafrance, who is a masterful storyteller in his own right, and who co-write Place Beyond the Pines with Marder, which may be how it arrived on Marder to make as his directorial debut. And what a directorial debut it is! Even once you admire the brilliant storytelling and pacing of the film, you watch Ahmed’s performance and realize that this actor who we’ve known is talented for quite some time can still blow us away by playing a character so different from himself. It’s a jaw-dropper of a performance at times, but Cooke and

I really don’t want to say too much more about the plot from there, because Marder really has weaved an interesting for journey through coming to terms with his deafness. Sure, there may be more than a little bit of comparisons to make with Damien Chazelle’s Whiplash, which was one of my favorite movies the year it came out, but that may just be because they’re both movies involving drummers, but that’s where the comparisons begin and end, because Marder’s film is just such an emotional journey where you can feel for and understand Ruben every step of the way even when he’s doing things that seem counter-productive to his rehabilitation.

You may think you know where Sound of Metal is going, but you’d be very wrong, and it in fact leads to an ending that is probably one of the more powerful and emotional ones I’ve seen this year. There’s no question in my mind that Sound of Metal and particularly Ahmed and some of Marder’s crew will be in serious talks for awards in the new year.

Anyway, Sound of Metal will be in select theaters on Friday, maybe some drive-ins, too, although I’m not sure all the incredible sound work will work in that environment necessarily. Either way, it will be on Prime Video on December 4, and I hope you’ll make an effort to see it however way you can. It should be able to quite readily get into my top 10 for the year.

Also very good is Aneesh Chaganty’s thriller RUN (Hulu), the follow-up to Chaganty’s Searching from a few years back, which will be available on Hulu starting Friday. It stars Sarah Paulson from every Ryan Murphy everything as Diane Sherman whose daughter Chloe (Kiera Allen) is born with all sorts of maladies. 17 years later, Chloe is a teenager and ready to possibly leave the nest and go off on her own despite her illnesses that keeps her wheelchair-bound, but she starts noticing her mother behaving oddly and giving her a new medication that makes her suspicious.

While Chaganty’s previous film Searching used a clever and innovative method of telling a story, all from a laptop screen, he decided to take a more traditional approach to this “empty nester thriller” (for lack of a better spoiler-free description) that effectively mixes Hitchcock with a movie like Misery. With that latter reference, you might immediately assume you know where every beat of Run may be going, especially when it becomes obvious that Paulsen’s character is one that will do anything to keep her daughter rom going off on her own and leaving her behind.

As much as I hate comparing Chaganty to M. Night Shyamalan, only because they’re both of Indo-American descent, but they both decided to take a similar career path in terms of using twisty thrillers as their calling card and impressed early in their careers. Similar to Shyamalan, Chaganty has created a well-crafted thriller that manages to keep you on the edge of your seat while never slowing down, and it also doesn’t try to hit you over the head with twists as Shyamalan sometimes does.

That said, Run does indeed have a pretty major twist that may or may not help endear those to what they’ve seen up until to that point, but that’s always the danger when you try to turn a genre on its ear, and Chaganty’s film does get into some crazier and crazier places as it goes along.  A lot of that comes down to Paulson, who is playing an absolutely insane crazy, but kudos go out to the young Ms. Allen who was quite good, and honestly, I never realized that she actually used a wheelchair in real life.

I’m a little bummed Run missed its opportunity to find a theatrical audience, because it’s very much the kind of movie that would be fun to watch with others.  I’m sure it’ll get seen, and Chaganty will continue to do interesting things as a filmmaker. I know, maybe this was one of my lamer reviews, but you know what? If you want to pay me to write them, I’ll put more effort into it. :)

You can read more about this movie in my interview with Chaganty over at Below the Line a little later.

One of the nicer surprises of the week was director Nick Sarkisov’s EMBATTLED (IFC Films), which I didn’t have very high expectations of, mainly since it was another MMA drama, this one about a father and son, rather than being about brothers. Also, about a decade ago, I might be a little hesitant to watch a movie starring either Stephen Dorff and Elizabeth Reaser, because they’ve both made a lot of bad movies… but this is not one of them. Dorff plays Cash Boykins, one of the most successful MMA fighters on the circuit, who is trying to reconnect with his estranged 18-year-old son Jett (Darren Mann) by training him while staying away from his ex-wife (Reaser) or their other son Quinn (Colin McKenna) who has a learning disability.

If you’ve read that far, you may already think you know where this is going, because let’s face it, there have been way too many boxing and fighting dramas that generally used the same techniques and plot devices. Heck, just a few weeks away, we got Jungleland, which was a very rare case of a movie that was able to surpass its overused genre. Oddly enough, Embattled is now the second decent fight movie in a matter of weeks.

If I may address the Stephen Dorff in the room, this is easily one of the actor’s best performances in many years, possibly since Ric Roman Waugh’s Felon. Dorff plays Cash as just such a despicable villain in terms of his racist attitude and the abusive way he treats his sons and his current wife Jade (Karrueche Tran). Even more impressive is Mann, who holds his own both in and out of the ring. The movie really is about the conflict that dates back to a violence incident between them that eventually forced Jett’s mother to split with Cash. Even with the focus being so much on Cash and Jett, Reaser is quite good as we watch her trying to get her life together by dating Quinn’s wheelchair-bound teacher, played by Donald Faison.

I really wasn’t familiar with Sarkisov as a producer, but this is another impressive directorial debut this week.  In many ways, it feels like the film’s screenwriter David McKenna is getting back to his dramatic roots from writing American History X. I also kind of liked his adaptation of Blow with the late Ted Demme.

I’m not sure I necessarily believed the film’s last act, which turns into a high-profile Vegas grudge match between Jett and his father for a huge amount of money, but Sarkisov finds a way to end things on a high note despite the film frequently resorting to overused clichés, such as the tired training montage. Despite Embattled being a little predictable at times just by the nature of its genre, Sarkisov and his cast end up creating an unforgettable family drama that uses MMA merely as a jumping off point to far more interesting realms.

One of this week’s docs I was able to get to was Alexander Nanau’s COLLECTIVE, which is finally getting a digital and VOD release by Magnolia Pictures over a year after it debuted at the Venice and Toronto International Film Festivals. It begins with a massive fire in the Bucharest nightclub Colectiv in 2015 that leaves 26 people dead on the site but then 38 more of the burn victims died after the fact, leading to a huge inquest into the horrible condition of the city’s hospitals and whether government corruption could have led to some of the deaths of innocents.

Even though Collective has been in circulation for a while, I never really heard much about it, so I literally had no idea what it is about. While you might assume that it’s about this fire, and you may be shocked that there’s actual footage of the fire starting as a metal band played fairly oblivious to the fact that their pyro set it off. The real story takes place when a team of investigators, including Catalin Tolonta, a reporter from the Sports Gazette, learns that the dozens of deaths could be traced back to bacteria in the disinfectant used in the burn ward that had been diluted up to ten times, basically being ineffective in creating a sterile environment for the Colectiv victims.

Nanau uses a cinema verité style of documentary filmmaking that I’ve never been a huge fan of because it takes out the narration that’s often needed for context, especially in a case like this where we’re dealing with a foreign country which Americans might not be that familiar with. Listen, I know from the movie The Death of Mr. Lazrescu that I would never want to have a medical emergency in Romania (where I’ve been a few times)

Nanau’s film is a terrific investigative piece that follows three of the key players, the aforementioned reporter, the incoming and quite beleaguered Minister of Health, and one of the surviving victims, a model whose beauty is still evident despite losing limbs and being horribly scarred.  Following these three subjects, Nanau and his editor was able to weave an intricate journey to find answers for why so many innocents died within the Bucharest hospital system. More than once, I was pleasantly surprised that Nanau was able to have his cameras present during important conversations between the minister and others about what to do about the corruption. The sad part is that the Minister’s hopes for change rely heavily on an election similar to the one we just had in America. In that case, it results in what might have happened if Trump won reelection in terms of dashing many hopes, including the whistleblowers who come forward to call those responsible to task.

I know that Collective won’t be for everyone, not just because it’s a foreign language doc i.e. two strikes against it but seeing how much worse things are in other countries, might help you appreciate our own medical system, which is constantly being put at risk as it gets overrun due to COVID. (It almost makes you wonder how Bucharest has been able to handle COVID, and if things have improved despite the overwhelmingly corrupt government.)

I wasn’t quite as bullish about Jesse Dylan’s SOROS (Abramorama), which has a live streaming premiere Weds. before going to virtual cinema this Friday. That may have been just because I wasn’t particularly familiar with the film’s subject George Soros or his principles, but also, I’m just not in the mood for a political doc that involves our country right this moment. Maybe I’ll check it out eventually, but this week, I just wasn’t up for it.

A couple of other docs I was hoping to get to but just ran out of time, include LEAP OF FAITH: WILLIAM FRIEDKIN ON THE EXORCIST (Shudder) and THE ORANGE YEARS: THE NICKELODEON STORY (Gravitas Ventures), both which are fairly self-explanatory.

This week’s WWII drama is Dan Friedkin’s THE LAST VERMEER (TriStar Pictures/Sony), a movie I went into rather cynically, because who keeps asking for these post-Holocaust movies that we seem to get almost like clockwork whenever the weather turns to awards season? This one stars Danish actor Claes Bang (Force Majuer, The Square) in his second movie about artwork of the year after The Burnt Orange Heresy. In this one, he plays Captain Jack Piller, the Dutch officially put in charge of discovering how a rare Vermeer painting ended up in Goebbels’ private collection, which brings him to Guy Pearce’s Han Van Meegeren, a painter and art enthusiast who seems to have connections to the Nazis but also has a secret Piller has to find out before Van Meegeren is hung as a traitor.

This ended up being another pleasant surprise for me this week, because as much of the beginning of the film feels a bit like the same-old same-old, where a troubled and conflicted man is given an assignment that turns into an obsession. In this case, it’s finding the owner of a rare and valuable Vermeer painting, but also trying to find out how the Nazis got their hands on it. As much as I enjoy the handsome and gregarious Bang in this type of role, it’s really Pearce’s performance as Van Meegeren that I found to be the most worthwhile among an ensemble cast that also includes Vicky Krieps (who incidentally will be at the Metrograph Friday night for a screening of Paul Thomas Anderson’s Phantom Thread for digital members!)

As someone who isn’t necessarily an art lover, I still enjoyed this in a similar way as a film like Woman in Gold. In this case, it at least leads up to a spectacular last act showing Van Meegeren’s court trial, in which a massive rug is pulled out from under the viewer, while still leaving room for one more shocking twist after that.

More than anything else, I was most impressed by the fact that (like so many other films this week), The Last Vermeer is Friedkin’s directorial debut. It’s just such an involved and intricate story to tell, as well as one where I literally had to go online and check to see whether it was based on real history after watching it. (It is.)

From China comes VANGUARD (Gravitas Ventures) the latest pairing of filmmaker Stanley Tong and Jackie Chan, who made the first two Supercop movies together and whose film Rumble in the Bronx helped break Chan in the States 25 years ago. In this one, Chan plays the head of a global security agency called Vanguard hired to protect a wealthy businessman and his daughter, a mission that takes them across the globe and puts them against all sort of awful characters.

Where do I even begin with a movie that’s clearly very bad but has so many enjoyable and crazily entertaining at times that I can’t completely toss it into the trash as I might have liked? It starts out with such an amazing opening in London that’s more about seeing the rest of the cast: Yang Yang, Miya Muqi and Lu Ai (all huge Chinese superstars, I’m sure) in action while Chan sits back and lets the youngsters have all the fun. The opening section ends with a stretch limo drifting through the busy streets around (seemingly) Covent Garden.

From there, we meet the members of Vanguard for real, Yang Yang’s handsome Lei, the James Bond of the group, family man Kaixuan (Lun Ai) and the tough Mi Ya (Mugi) before they’re sent on their mission to retrieve and protect the daughter of the businessman we see trying to be kidnapped in that opening scene. The bad guys’ next target is the bubbly Fareeda (Ruohan Xu), activist and animal lover, something we see by her cavorting with some awful CG lions that make the ones in Favreuau’s The Lion King look good. After another fight and chase, she’s taken  hostage but so is Lei, so now Vanguard’s mission includes rescuing their teammate.

Vanguard’s biggest problems are two-fold, the first one being that the writing by Tong and presumably his daughter, Tiffany Alycia Tong, is terrible. Also, by trying to blend equal parts action with laughs, Tong throws everything but the kitchen sink at the viewer, and only some of it sticks.  Chan does have a few fun moments, although wisely, he leaves most of the heavy lifting to his younger cast. Even so, he’s still allowed to deliver a few of his trademark moves, a couple quips and his usual beloved charm. Other than Chan, I particularly liked Miya Muqi playing the type of tough, kick-ass martial arts heroine that’s a large part of why I love Chinese action movies.  

For the most part, the movie is full of all sorts of crazy stuff, not just the massive explosions and gun fights we’ve seen many times before, but other stuff that tries to take advantage of the movie’s global setting, some of which works and other parts, not so much. (Seriously, those CG animals in the African section of the movie are absolutely horrid and inexcusable! Did they run out of money before post-production?)

As much as Vanguard is a flagrant Mission: impossible rip-off that both Chan and Tong to be long past their sell-by dates, there’s an aspect to it that makes you think they realize this and just want to have one more absurd fling. Realizing this allows Vanguard to be way more entertaining than it ought to be. Vanguard will be in over 700 theaters this Friday, which might indeed be wider than every other movie I’ve mentioned put together.

Matthew Rankin’s quirky retro-comedy THE TWENTIETH CENTURY (Oscilloscope) was another interesting surprise this week, which I’m not even sure I can properly describe or tell you why you should or shouldn’t see it. (Let’s face it. I’m getting pretty burned out on doing so many reviews each week, especially when I’m getting zero feedback, which really sucks.) The film stars Dan Beirne as Mackenzie King, a young man who we watch on his rise to become the leader of Canada. As far as I can tell, it’s completely fictitious. (Nope. King really was Prime Minister... for a long time, too!)

Anyway, this is very quirky movie set in Canada that reminded me so much of Guy Maddin’s work, which I used to hate, especially the first time I saw The Saddest Music in the World, which Rankin’s film reminded me of. Fortunately, I’ve gotten over whatever issue I had with the weirdness of Maddin’s work, and this one was weird but also quite witty and had me openly laughing, especially a race for Prime Minister of Canada that had the contestants churning butter, writing their name in the snow with pee and yes, even clubbing baby seals.

The production design, while looking and feeling very low-fi, still has a very original look, and besides the obvious Guy Maddin reference, you might find yourself harking back to some of David Lynch’s earlier films, particularly Eraserhead or The Elephant Man. Sure, if there’s such thing as a movie being TOO weird, The Twentieth Century certainly can be seen as guilty of that, but to me, this was akin to a Canadian Monty Python that had me chortling even when I wasn’t even quite sure what was so funny.

Check out the trailer below and you can watch it virtually through your favorite arthouse with a list of venues here.

Chad Faust’s GIRL (ScreenMedia), which will be in select theaters this Friday and then on VOD on Tuesday, stars Bella Thorne and Mickey Rourke. Thorne plays a young unnamed woman who returns to her hometown with plans to kill her abusive father, only to learn that someone has beaten her to the punch, so she tries to find answers, going up against Rourke’s sheriff of the town and his son, played by Faust himself. I don’t have a ton to say about this movie because it’s a fairly bland indie that never improves from Faust showing up as a lethario Thorne encounters in a laundromat. As much as I enjoy watching Thorn throw an axe, it wasn’t as enjoyable as watching her kick-ass in last week’s Chick Fight.  (She does get into a fun tussle with Faust though, but that wasn’t enough to keep me interested.)

Now available on Disney+ is the LEGO STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, which certainly has quite an onus over its head due to the quality of the LAST Star Wars Holiday Special in 1978. This one at least has the added entertainment value that comes with the LEGO creative team. Honestly, I had enough of Star Wars with last year’s The Rise of Skywalker, and I certainly didn’t have much interest in seeing more of these characters.

Also starting on Disney+ this week is the new Marvel series (and the only thing you’re getting from Marvel this year), Marvel’s 616, which is a series of documentaries about a variety of subjects, including women comic book creators (directed by Gillian Jacobs), one that follows Paul Scheer trying to find some lost Marvel characters to turn into the next hit (directed by Scheer) and what?!? There’s also one directed by Alison Brie, so that’s TWO of the six episodes directed by ex-Community members. But none by Danny Glover or Chevy Chase? Shame.

Other stuff that I just didn’t have time to get to, although there may be some true gems in there, who knows?:

Team Marco (Samuel Goldwyn) One Night in San Diego (1091) The Test and the Art of Thinking (Abramorama) The Truth is the Only Client (Gravitas Venturs) Ghosts of the République Murder on Middle Beach (HBO Documentaries) Crazy Not Insane (HBO Docs) Lowdown Dirty Criminals (Dark Sky Films) Donbass (Film Movement) In Wonder (Netflix)

Also, RJ Cutler’s well-received BELUSHI doc will hit Showtime on Sunday, and Sean Durkin’s thriller The Nest (IFC Films), which I reviewed a few months back, will hit VOD this week.

[jtgunner]

2010s: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

It’s almost hard to believe that another decade has come and gone, and honestly, I don’t know how to feel about it.

Anyone who’s been following me the last couple of months knows that I’ve recently been going through some emotional troubles. I do generally get angsty towards the end of the year, because generally I start to think: “Oh man, another year wasted.” But recently it’s been even more tough because I’ve been thinking: “Oh man, I’ve wasted a decade.”

The early 2010s wasn’t too kind to me. I started college in late 2009 and ended up dropping out in late 2011. I have a bitter falling out with some friends whom I’ve considered to be good friends, mostly because I was upset with them not wanting to associate with me. I ended up working at a minimum wage job and being stuck there for years, mostly because I felt like that was the only thing in this world that I was good at. The decade had its ups and downs since then, but it does feel like there was a lot of downs. And while I think it would be unfair to myself to accept 100% of the blame of what went wrong in my life (because I’ll be frank, it’s not all my fault, in my opinion), but there still were things that actually was my fault, or at least I could’ve handled them better.

I look back at this past decade and realize that I honestly haven’t done a whole lot compared to some of my peers. A lot of the people I went to high school with got to move on with their lives. They got to graduate from college, be involved in committed relationships (many which resulted in marriages), and started families. And that’s all stuff that I haven’t done, and just thinking about that bums me out a bit. I know it’s not really a good idea to compare yourself to others, and that other people get through their lives at their own pace, but it’s hard not to do that. Especially when, quite frankly, there are people in my life (family members, specifically) who like to remind me that I haven’t done much in my life.

There’s a lot more I could write, but I’d rather not right now. And to be fair, there were good things too. While I didn’t like my first job, it taught me the value of hard work, and while it didn’t pay much, it did pay. It was also something I was good at, something that my co-workers and managers would tell me, and it’s a good feeling to be told that you’re good at what you do. This also happened to be the decade I joined Tumblr. And while this website has had ups and downs, I can say without any hint of irony that this literally is my favorite website to use. It’s so easy and fun to share content on this site, and I keep coming back to see and reblog what everyone else has posted. It’s also thanks to this site that I met some very cool people whom I consider to be good friends, and I feel that I’m closer to them than a good majority of the other “friends” that I’ve met in real life. And this supportive community has helped me out in many ways, whether by sharing the original content and artwork that I post or by providing words of encouragement whenever I feel down. There’s lots more things that went right, too. Thanks to the encouragement from my friends, I re-discovered my love for drawing, and I even get to play games with the friends I’ve made. I even started playing a tabletop game with them, something I had never done before and thought I’d never do. The only downside is that these developments happened relatively late in this decade, but I’m just glad that they happened at all.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m not going into this next decade with a clear plan. I don’t wanna be corny and say “2020 will be my year!”, because things could very much go wrong as much as they can go right. My mistake going into 2010 was believing that nothing could possibly go wrong, and I found out the hard way that yes, it possibly can. I hate to seem like a “half glass empty” kind of guy, but I do try to be realistic. The unfortunate thing is that as much as I wish for it, there is no do-overs when it comes to time. I can’t go back in time to undo all of my mistakes and take every opportunity I missed. The only thing I can do is look forward.

Despite the bullshit, I do feel like I’ve learned quite a bit this past decade, and I want to use what I’ve learned to make 2020 even better. I want to go into this next decade using what I’ve learned to improve my life. I want to step out of my comfort zone and try new things. I want to create more art and music like I did in my late teens and early 20s. I just want to do more, and not let anyone or anything, not even myself, get in my way. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that I will never be young again. I will turn 30 in 2021. There’s a lot of things a lot of people my age and younger have done in their 20s that I’ve never had the opportunity to do. Unfortunately for me, there’s nothing that I can do about it. The only thing I can do, really, is just make the most of what I have. So I didn’t get to spend my 20s partying and having fun with my peers, and I might not ever be able to do that. That’s just how it is unfortunately. I won’t say that I’m okay with this or that I’m at peace this feeling (I’m not), or that there never will be a time where I’m not sad about this feeling, but time keeps moving forward, and I may as well move forward, too.

Again, I don’t want to be corny and say that I’m gonna make next year my year. I don’t know where this new decade will take me. It could be really good or it could be really bad. But I’m gonna move forward and see where my life takes me, and hope for the best. That’s all I can do.

I didn’t mean for this to be a super long text post. If you’ve read all of it, thank you so much.

[champagnetravels]

Mustang

Ok so I’m going to preface this post with a completely non-exaggerated claim that the two weeks I spent on excursion in the mountains are quite possibly the best 2 consecutive weeks I’ve had in my entire life. There was not a moment that I was not enjoying myself and from start to finish I was just amazed and happy and having a fantastic time! I haven’t had such a sustained good time in a long time and I am truly not exaggerating or being sarcastic. It was bomb. I felt the most like myself that I have in a while and was just consistently so happy!

So we started with a quick 8 hour bus drive from Kathmandu to a Tibetan settlement in Pokhara, a city basically at the base of all the mountains. We stayed with a family for one night and let me tell you this was a great start. I was with another girl from SIT, Grace, and our ama la and acha la. They were the nicest people ever and we all just really clicked and had a great time together. We made plans to make momos together when we came back through Pokhara at the end of the excursion (spoiler alert: Grace and I got put into a different family but came back) and they talked to us for a long time after dinner. Ugh, love them.

We left Pokhara around 5:30 A.M. to go to the airport for 6:30 and 7:00 flights. The flights were so early because these planes only fly in the morning because it’s way too windy in the afternoon and they are TINY PLANES that fly literally through the mountains. We had to have two flights because the planes only hold 16 people and we watched them take off and fly through a tiny valley. Wild. I was not nervous at all, I was actually really excited. And then we went onto the tarmac and I watched them unload the bags from the previous flight, load our bags, and refill the fuel and I was like oh my god I’m about to get on a tiny plane in the mountains I may die. But I didn’t die. And it was actually an incredible flight. I could see into the cockpit from my seat so I basically watched two men fly a plane and I had the best views of mountains you could ever imagine. We flew threw the deepest gorge in the world (I think?) and ugh it was just beautiful. And since everyone around me was super nervous I got a window seat so that’s a win. Also, this plane had the smoothest landing I have ever experienced. But yea, the tiny planes just go back and forth from Pokhara to Jomosom all morning long because the flight is only 20 minutes but it’s an 8 hour bus/jeep ride. 

When we got off the plane in Jomosom a lot of us, including me, almost cried. Right behind the airport (which is literally a single road where tiny planes land) was a huge, snowy mountain. We’ve heard many myths about snowy mountains of Nepal but these pesky things called smog and climate change shield them from the Kathmandu Valley. So we were all pretty excited. We hied around a bit and hung out at the hotel literally just looking at the mountain it was so nice to see nature and not be in a dusty city. Jomosom is also only one road so every single place you go has a view of the mountains. 

We only stayed in Jomosm for one night and then the next day we walked for a few hours up to Kagbeni. We walked through a river bed which was pretty cool and we were just surrounded by mountains on the walk. I also did not realize that the mountains in Lower Mustang were desert mountains but there were no trees or anything. Just more dust and rocks. Still pretty though. In Kagbeni we had lunch at this place called YacDonalds. Ok so people in Nepal are obsessed with yaks or they think (and are right) that tourists are obsessed with yaks because there is yak propoganda EVERYWHERE. But yea this place was a spin off of McDonald’s which was honestly a hilarious and good move on their part. Here I had one of the best lunches I’ve had since coming to Nepal: the YacDonalds Happy Meal. It was a burger made of yak meat with mayo and cheese on it served with fries and cole slaw. MMMMMMMM! It was so so so good and that definitely could have been because I haven’t had that much protein in one meal since getting here. Ugh it was so good. Side note: I showered here. Keep this in mind as you read.

After Kagbeni we went up to Muktinath which was just MORE snowy mountains and made everyone so happy. I went on a little hike up to a statue of Guru Rinpoche, the guy who is said to have brought Buddhism to Tibet and killed/tamed all the demons that were living in the mountains. He’s as present in Tibetan Buddhism/temples as Buddha. But from there it was just panoramic views of mountains. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen and made me feel very very small and very very excited to explore the world. We had another dank (which means REALL GOOD) lunch here as well at a Bob Marley themed restaurant which was super random. But we had pizza!!!! Some was veggie, some was chicken, and some was yak and I ate a lot of all of it. I was v hungry and selfish during this meal oops. After lunch we went up to this famous Hindu temple, Muktinath Temple, where there were these two big pools of water and 108 taps of water behind them. People were walking through the pools and then running under the taps. Apparently, Hindu pilgrims do this three times and it’s supposed to bring good health I believe. I just put my hands under all of the taps but a few SIT students did the full dunk-and-run. Also, it was freezing here idk why they did that I had to put on another pair of pants just to go to dinner.

The next day we were split into groups of three students to be sent to different villages for a three day homestay. I was originally supposed to walk back down near Kagbeni into a town that was technically Upper Mustang where you can’t go without a permit. There was a girl who was really sick though and needed to go down in altitude so they asked me if I could switch with her and stay up in the mountains. Silly me, I was bummed that I couldn’t go into ~technically~ Upper Mustang but this switch was probably the best thing that could have happened. My group in the original village was kinda random and idk if I would have had as much fun as I did with the group I ended up with. 

So I went to the village Jharkot which was only about a half hour walk away from Muktinath. We walked partly on the main road and then we took a detour to get a closer look at some yaks. This was fun until one of them decided that it didn’t want us looking at it anymore and kinda almost maybe charged at us a little bit. We were safe though one of the co-researchers (local Mustangis helping us with translating and such) was handling it. My group walked with one other group which also had really cool people in it and we learned that they were super close to us. They stayed for a little while and drank this juice that was actually amazing. It’s called seabuckthorn juice and it was served hot OMG it was so good I don’t know if you can get it anywhere else. But while they were hanging in our village these guys came up to practice archery and they let us use their bow. I was not great but not the worst of all of us which made me feel good. Then these guys practiced for so long right outside of my homestay in a field and we just watched them. For this excursion we all had to do research on something for a paper and I was originally going to research marriage practices but while watching the archery I decided to do something completely random and different and decided to study archery. I learned that Mustangi/Himalayan archery is pretty famous for being really good and there are festivals and competitions all over the villages throughout the Spring. Also, at these festivals there has to be a male representative of each family that’s in the village at the time of the festival competing or else they get fined. It was pretty cool and there was a lot more to it than you would expect. I have to write a paper on it so if you’re interested I can send you more ; )

But yea so in Jharkot I was with two other SIT students - Grace and Keller - our co-researcher Babu and an SIT staff member, Nyima Dorjee. They offered to split us up for more room but we were like lol no we want to all be together this is scary so we all slept in the same room together. Our house was basically a mud building with wooden slats for a roof and it had two rooms. One room had a stove and some low seats/couches and the other room had 4 beds. So the five of us plus ama la spread out amongst those two rooms. For breakfast, we sat on a little porch area which was also where the bathroom was. But it had an incredible view of the mountains so breakfast was something that I really looked forward to. And Dorjee let us sleep in (until 8) so that was super nice. So back to breakfast. We ate tsampa for breakfast. Tsampa is barley flour and you mix it with tea, butter, sugar, and, if you’re feeling crazy, a bit of yak cheese. It was so. Good. I love tsampa. It was kind of like oatmeal but thicker and it really filled you up. Me and Keller and Grace were super into the tsampa. Then everyday, and I mean everyday of the rest of this excursion, we had dal bhat for lunch which is rice with like a lentil soup/sauce on it. I like dal bhat but I can only eat so many mountains of white rice man. It was wild. For dinner it would be absolutely freezing because it got so cold at night so we would all huddle by the stove and eat whatever ama la gave us. 

So this portion was actually just the best part of this entire semester I think. Grace and Keller are amazing people so that was just so fun. We talked about so much stuff and just had so much fun together. Then Babu was a riot. I think he just wasn’t cinfident in his English abilities so to compensate he just acted so freaking strange but it was so funny. Then Dorjee is just the man. He’s an anthropologist and so cool he just has a really interesting perspective on the world and having him there made a huge difference. He actually made us work which Babu did not but we also got the chance to get to know him as a human which was fun.

During the days in Jharkot we would wander around our village and the surrounding ones. We met this one guy who I talked to for so long about archery and he took us all around the village and into his grandparents old house which was so cool. He said that he had never shown a tourist his house, only his close Nepali friends. But he showed us the prayer room in his house that had all these antiques in it like old bows and arrows and daggers and tea sets. It was actually so cool. We also hiked down to the river and then up the other side to another village where people were staying and went to an archery festival that was happening for the start of Spring (the one where there has to be a male representative from each family). We watched that for a while and it was so cool. They would shoot and everyone would yell “So so so so so” which meant good luck and was kind of a prayer like oh I hope you do well. Then they would take a break and drink chang, homemade rice beer, and do it all over again for a few rounds. That night when we got back to Jharkot me, Grace, Babu, and Keller had a dance party on our porch for like 2 hours and it was so fun. I was so relaxed and content and could have honestly stayed there forever. This was the best excursion. And I learned a Tibetan pop song called Phur (which means Fly in English) and it is actually the best song ever (if you’re interested, it’s on my spotify and I will try to post a link to youtube if I can figure that out). Apparently the lyrics mean if you’re not speaking out and using your voice then your life is a waste (hint hint it’s about Tibet). 

After our three days in Jharkot we had to rejoin with the rest of the group in a Tibetan settlement in Tserok (with a quick lunch stop in Jomosom). This settlement was right by the river so I spent the afternoon by the river just hanging out. The second day in Tserok I went on a hike/walk through a forest to another town that had a bomb bakery. The walk was actually the highlight though it was so beautiful and it felt so good to be around trees! Trees! With mountains in the background that looked fake! Incredible! We were waiting for a bus to take us back to Tserok because we were all feeling lazy but it never came so we had to ask the owner of the bakery to give us a ride back in his jeep. Which he charged us $20 and that may not seem like a lot for 7 people and taking a man away from his business but in this country that’s a lot of freaking money. I haven’t spent more than $16 at one time and that has only happened once. So we were pretty salty about that but it had to be done because it was getting late. Note: The closest I have come at this point to a shower is dunking my head in the river in Jomosom.

Everyone had dinner at 6:30 so that we could make it to the cultural show that the settlement put on for us. This was basically just a bunch of dance performances which would have been great if a) we weren’t all really tired and b) the awful sound quality music wasn’t blasting through the speakers at full volume. It was really hard to not cover your ears because Tibetan music is very screechy. After the performances though they just played Tibetan and Nepali pop music (a.k.a. Phur) and we all danced. It was v fun but I was so dead and had to leave to go to bed.

The next day we went to Marpha which is famous for its apples and had lunch. And cake because it was Grace’s birthday! Woo cake! Marpha was nice but it was just the touristy version of where we had all been for a week so it wasn’t super exciting. From Marpha we hiked up to this lake that was supposed to be on the way as we walked toward Jomosom. But then when we got up there it started aggressively raining and hailing so we sat in a little tea house and waited for jeeps to come get us. The lake was really pretty though, the water was a really cool light greenish blue and, of course, there were mountains everywhere. Note: I took a rushed and not very satisfying bucket shower in Jomosom.

We ended the excursion with another night in Pokhara. This is where Grace and I got swtiched and we were not happy about it because we were supposed to make momos with ama la. But we made momos with new ama la and also visited old ama la who made us eat some of her momos as well because apparently 12 momos at your own home is just not enough. (momos are basically dumplings). In the afternoon, before dinner, I walked to the big lake in Pokhara and rented a row boat for an hour with people and it was so much fun. It reminded me of Coventry which made me a tad homesick but also excited for the summer and also comfortable. I was in my element. Then we went back and had momos and visited old ama la. 

The excursion technically ended the next day but nearly everyone decided to extend it and stay in the city of Pokhara for Friday and Saturday nights and go back to Kathmandu on Sunday instead. This was a great choice all around. We had some incredible food which came just in time because I was about to go nuts from eating dal bhat everyday and we went out to dance and hang at night which was so much fun! I have to admit the 8 hour bus ride back to Kathmandu kind of sucked but that was the only bad part of this experience. Note: Took a HOT SHOWER FROM A SHOWER HEAD in Pokhara and it was divine. 

Well, idk if that post made much sense and I’m not sure if i fully got across just how incredible it was but that’s a wrap. 

[survivortaveuni]

Steffen's Jury Speech

==Speech== Walks Into FTC with martini in hand Why hello ya bums, its ya favorite Buzzed Steffen here to ask you your jury questions, but hows buzzed Steffen different from normal Steffen? oh its cause Buzzed Steffen doesn’t give 2 craps about consequences of his actions, so lets have fun with this Jordan seeing as I have the most to say to you about this game out of any of the finalists, I’m just going to begin with you. So lets admit our past has been a rocky one, but we seemingly have sorted our stuff out right??? Or at least that’s what I wanted to believe coming into this game, that’s what you told me coming into this merge, but for some reason I still have that foul taste of deception in my mouth that makes me feel you were lying saying we were ok. See you said we were ok, and the only reason that you targeted me wasn’t because of our past, but because we never were on the same tribe…..honestly how stupid do you think I am. Obviously yes I am gullible, we saw that in the touchy subjects, but its been made clear to so many people that you devoted a majority of merge to trying to get rid of me, but why me? you never were on a tribe with Charlotte and Tyler out of anyone left here, yet you feel obligated to single me out for the merge to try and destroy me for practically 4 rounds, and seemingly let the other 2 who share the “no tribe shared pre-merge” distinction sit next to you in ftc, honestly that was one huge ass slap in the face, upon the fact of not allowing me to vent for some time, but you know what, should I expect anything. maybe I am that stupid. Furthermore I saw what you and Jack E said behind my back together, I’ve already had it out with Jack saying how hurt I felt because of it, literally labeling me as stupid, thinking I didn’t know what was going on, you seemed cocky over my deception and seeing that honestly hurts, and this is a social game, why the hell would you feel it necessary to make me look like an idiot and then revel in the fact, it makes writing this that much easier in a sense I guess so thanks. Besides feeling made fun of, I also have a few things against your game that I have problems with besides the obvious social aspect, it seemed that besides targeting me solely for pretty much all of merge, that left you blind to anything else going on in the game, you took out Jack of all people instead of Charlotte who lets face it has a better chance of winning than Jack could, which I don’t personally understand at all. I also don’t understand how you don’t attribute luck to being a major catalyst for you sitting there today, not only did the rainbow idol magically spit out the idol you needed, but you also got real lucky that a chaos idol was waiting for you at the auction, like you got real lucky Jordan, frigging own up to it. I’m not impressed either by the fact that I feel you depended on immunities, like Brad Culpepper did in Game Changers to make it to FTC, as we saw, immunities doesn’t mean they played the best game, and tbh it just felt that you were playing haphazardly and messily that doesn’t really make me have any respect to how you played. Now onto the final part of my problem with your game, the rule breaking, now I’m not talking about the wikipedia screwing with, cause that was clever, I’m talking about the cross tribal and jury communication you performed in this game. It is literally outlined in the rules that its forbidden, yet you felt it necessary to constantly do that in the game, and don’t think I’m dumb Jordan, you obviously do, you chose to give yourself an unfair advantage in the game and honestly that makes me not want to reward you even further, when we got those warnings I know very damn well who those were about, don’t hide it. So in the end I need a couple of things from you, 1 admit luck was a major aspect of your game, 2 fess up to your communication rule breaking because denying what you did isn’t gonna be pretty, and 3 tell me why you felt it necessary to revel in my stupidity. DANG I WROTE A LOT, sorry Charlotte, girl I swear to god you were impressing me in this game, but reading your speech just made me fall backwards over the railing of FTC so kudos, but now I’m here. I won’t deny you played an impressive game cause lets face it, you followed the rules and made it there, however there are a couple things that puzzle me. Now you seem to be in a power position, however you seemed to be there due to Jordan targeting me pretty much all of merge, freeing you up to do a lot more since an entire alliance was focused solely on me. You also admitted to me that you operated under a lot of paranoia, and as Jack E will tell you, I am the king of being a paranoid mess, and my fear is it affected your game, so my questions to you are, 1 Did paranoia play a huge thing in your gameplay honestly, and 2 if the whole Jordan targeting me thing wasn’t the storyline of merge, do you think you’d still be sitting there at ftc campaigning for votes? Also please send me a nice meme or gif, preferably of RDJ cause dat man is FOINE Tyler, my child, girl I love you to the moon and back, like you a loyal ass hoe, even when I was questioning you, you stuck by me by my side, and I am eternally grateful so thank you, and you seemed to notice that in your speech….but that was the only thing in your speech, and I think that’s where the jury, including myself finds a flaw in your game. Now I would love nothing more than to award you a jury vote this season, but I can’t for the sole fact that I didn’t see you do outside of being loyal, and in this game I need to see strategy go on, so my question to you is, outside of being loyal, was there literally any other part of your game or was loyalty it, and I’d appreciate honesty at all possible, if there wasn’t good, then admit that. Realizing my Buzzed Bamblings may have gone on for a bit I’m going to end my time here. I would like to thank the hosts Kevin and Mitch for the chance to play and y’all for a fun season, now I hope we can vote for a well rounded player and that Athena won’t have it’s first Cheater winner. I make a lovely 5th alternate, thank you and gooooooooooood morning Santa Fe Charlotte: ugh steffen, ily. bless you and your martini, we give thanks. so first of all, lets start with the meme. that’s what is most important. http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/124/042/dfa.jpg ps: why did boom never watch shrek? still offended. that was how we all first bonded rip. i’ll be the first to admit that i did experience some paranoia. i think we all did, to a certain extent. there are people in this game that i never trusted from the moment they opened their mouths, to the moment we severed ties or they got voted out at tribal council. however, i’m not gonna lie… i did know that you were a paranoid person, and insinuating that i thought i was on the bottom did get you to be a bit more forthcoming with me. there were times when i wasn’t entirely sure that i could trust you because you weren’t the chattiest, but i get now that it was partially due to paranoia and not because you were a shady MF. i think jordan and co having it out for you was both a help and a hinderance. trying to save you all the time wasn’t necessarily the funnest and they really were bound and determined to send you home. why, i still don’t really know. i always assumed it was because of another game where you’d showed you were a threat but i never really got the whole story. at the end of the day, i made a choice when i flipped on the chaos squad to side with you and tyler - to keep you over lily. i stand by the move today, and i don’t regret the decisions that i made that got me where i am now. would i still be sitting here if they didn’t want you out? i like to think yes, but i think the people sitting beside me could very well be different. but that’s the thing with survivor - you never really know how things are going to pan out. Jordan: I am not going to answer your questions Steffen, but I will say this and I hope you enjoy this because it will be the last bit of communication we have for a long time. How dare you, How fucking dare you. I have a lot of flaws Steffen, a lot of flaws I openly admit to. I am a liar, I am a narcissist, I am a person who usually finds it hard to empathize with other peoples problems. And I am open about these flaws, I wear them as battle amor because if hold them in front of me no one can use them against me. But there is one thing I am not, I am not a cheater. I have been known to cross tribal communicate before, hell I cross tribal communicated with one of theses hosts before, but so are you and so are lots of people on the jury, but I played this game clean. I never got any information to progress me further, everything I did I did legit and I am proud of my game. In fact I think what hurts the most is you didn’t use your jury speech to ask me if I cheated, to enlighten you to make a good decision. No this was a certainty in your mind, and judging by the way it is assumed by a lot of jurors now, given their speech it seems a certainty in their mind as well. I don’t know if it is the fact that you can’t believe that I can beat you legitimately, maybe its the fact that the last time you beat me in a game was when I had to be bullied out of it by your alliance, remember that Steffen. I don’t know why you couldn’t just ask me with your question, but quite frankly I do not care any more. You are not a nice person Steffen, and I can see that clearly now. I tried to have fun with you this game, I tried really hard. I don’t know how much more clearler I could have made that I don’t make things personal and that we could be against each other and still have a good time. I guess you couldn’t understand that, I guess you couldn’t understand a lot of things. Like if you think I was working with Charlotte and Tyler, and wasn’t at the end as clearly against them as I was to you, but merely didn’t attempt to vote them out as their were much bigger threats than you have little to no game perception. Here is what I have to say to you Steffen. I worked hard this game, I worked very hard but that doesnt matter to you and it no longer matters to me. I do not want your vote, I do not want you to talk to me after this game at all in fact. You know how I pride myself on not making things personal. I am breaking that rule for you. Because you have refused to treat me with respect and you will not have that respect given back to you. You’re ego is just as big as mine the only difference is I am able to admit it. This game was something I tried to keep clean but it is clear you are as vial as a person as you were at the end of Kanto, at the end of Westeros and at the end of countless other games you have been at, from which I can only assume is as a goat, given that I have seen you in 3 final tribal councils, or Aeolian, Kanto and All stars and you have received a total of 2 votes between all 3. As you know I am leaving for the summer and if it were not that hoenn is my last game before I leave what I am about to say would follow it to. When I return at the end of August and start playing games again, I will not be speaking with you. I will make it clear in every game I apply for that if both of us apply they will have to choose me or you to be in the cast and if I am in a game that I see you in I will quit immediately. I do not want to play with you Steffen, I do not want to talk to you Steffen and I above all do not want to be your friend until you can get over yourself. I thought we’ve both grown Steffen, I really did. I was wrong about you. I give second chances to people, I rarely give a third. Good bye. Tyler: I have played this game twice before, and my downfall both times was playing too hard. I would always be going around asking everyone who they were voting for and trying to make a plan. Both times that was my downfall. This season I decided that I was going to take a step back. I withheld myself to reduce the target on me, because of that it ended up being you leading the way when it came to strategy. By having people in my alliance who were more strategic, I knew that the target would be on them before it would be on me. I used them as a sort of buffer to keep myself safe. When William and Shea were voted out, they both threw votes my way, and because of that I did my best to make sure that I wasn’t the target. However though, you and Charlotte still consulted me when it came to strategy. We made decisions as a group so in terms of strategizing, I still did strategize with the two of you. It is quite evident that there is some bad blood between some of the jurors and finalists, but none of that bad blood is directed at me. I didn’t turn on my allies. I didn’t stab people in their back. I played with integrity and I feel like that should be rewarded.

[betaswitchreviews-blog]

The Beta Switch

Beta Switch Review :

As I mentioned a couple of days ago I would publish my Beta Switch Review the moment it’s finished and here it is! I must preface this by saying I didn’t write the review. I didn’t feel it was write to write this one because I’m not a women! The Beta Switch was designed for women only so I got my good friend and fitness expert Chantal to go through the course and provide her thoughts below.

I have to say that there aren’t many online fitness programs that really blow me away! The majority of them are pretty good, but I’ve yet to see a really great one until now. It’s wonderful to see someone spend some much time on a product and make it the best possible so that women everywhere can benefit from it!

==>> Click Here To Visit The Official Beta Switch System Website

So let’s take a deeper dive into the world of Sue Heintze and her latest fitness/workout program. So here’s the Beta Switch Review.

The Beta Switch is for the ladies who have real struggles and real insecurities, real curves, real desires and realistic fitness goals that they want to tackle. If you want to tone your tummy instead of having rock hard 6 abs, and want killer biceps and Jessica Simpson legs all at the same time, but all of the fitness inspiration Instagram accounts that you follow just don’t seem to be doing it for you, rely on The Beta Switch.  The program will literally switch your fat burning elements on within your body.

I know it sounds like science fiction, but Sue has discovered why it’s so hard for women to lose weight, so easy to gain weight and how to make sure you’re able to turn your body into a fat burning machine!

Beta Switch Review – What Is Sue Hentze’s System All About?

The Beta Switch is all about fat burning for none other than you stunning ladies out there reading this review. However, it isn’t just about fat burning secrets and that’s it. The program teaches you how to lose the “F” word from your vocabulary and replace it with a toned, shapely body that you have desperately been trying to achieve but just can’t seem to find your way.

Now, you might be thinking, “Oh, I’ve heard it all before” but you haven’t — not just yet. The Beta Switch gets into the science of stubborn fat cells specifically in your trouble areas, such as your thighs, butt, hips and back of your arms. It works by activating your beta receptors which are responsible for fat burning and turning off your alpha receptoras. The alpha receptors are used for fat storage. So when you turn off the Alpha and switch on the beta guess what you get?

Beta Switch Review

A body that is constantly burning fat and not just any fat ladies, but the stubborn fat you just wish would disspear forever! Another great aspect of the Beta Switch program is it doesn’t just eliminate the stubborn fat it also get’s rid of the remaining cellulite too! You’ll also enjoy this weight loss life system much more because you don’t have to workout for long hours or even give up the food you love.

Sue walks you through every aspect of the Beta Switch system so you don’t have to worry about anything. She provides you the education you need, the workouts, the nutrition and so much more….This is literally a complete, step by step system with no stone left untouched!

Click Here To Discover How To Activate Your Beta Receptors To Release Trapped Fat

Click Here To Fall In Love With Your Body Again And Rock Your Skinny Jeans With Confidence

The Beta Switch contains only modules, videos and manuals you need and no extra fluff! I love this because life is fast and I don’t have time to waste my life reading manuals and watching videos that aren’t going to help me get the butt or stomach I’ve always wanted!

With the main module, you learn everything that you need to successfully complete the program and burn the fat; foods, schedules, a woman’s body, hormones, cells, recipes, frequently asked questions , etc., — all geared towards the way a lady’s body works!  This is important because in order to successfully lose weight, you have to understand why it’s there, what your body is doing with it and how to change it so that you can keep it off.

This is what the main module is all about, and you also get a diet tracker, quick start and supplement guide for you to utilize in combination with the incredible information that is vital to successful weight loss. Oh, and it’s all geared to the specific way a woman’s body works!

==>> Click Here If You’re Ready To Get Rid of Stubborn Fat FOREVER And Fit Into Your Skinny Jeans Again

The Beta Switch Workouts is a bonus to the program that obviously amps up everything that you learned in the main module. It puts your body to work and focuses on female-friendly workouts. After all, this program is all for the ladies.  With this, you also get a success tracker ( a personal favorite because seeing your progress is fabulous motivation ), an exercise guide and video demonstrations. It’s like a personal trainer that comes to your house — and that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. Actually, that’s exactly what it is if you consider Sue’s expertise within the industry.bundle-bonus2

Here’s a complete list of everything you get with Beta Switch:

The Beta Switch — Main Manual

The Beta Switch Exercise Execution Guide

The Beta Switch Workout System Manual

The Beta Switch Success Tracker

The Beta Switch Diet Tracker Sheets

The Beta Switch Workout Tracker Sheet

The Beta Switch Supplement Guide

The Beta Switch Real Life Stories From Women Like You

The Beta Switch Pre-Program Checklist

The Beta Switch Quick Start Guide

Video Exercise Library

Beta Switch Bonus

In this part of the Beta Switch Review I walk to take a look at the different bonuses you get when you purchase the Beta Switch. The following bonuses are time senstive though which means you have to take action and purchase the course within a certain time frame to take advantage of these bonuses. I got to admit I wasn’t expecting much in terms of bonuses as I’m more of a main program type of girl, but these were actually really great bonuses.

In my personal opinion I feel Sue could actually sell these as completely seperate programs and they would do well! Here’s a quick breakdown of them for you. You get

The 9 Day Drop a Jeans Size Diet

Even though The Beta Switch is a life long solution to stubborn lower body fat Sue wanted to make sure she didn’t leave anything else and she also wanted to go above and beyond for you. So for these reasons she created this bonus which is the safest and efficient way to trim down those thighs and butt to look your best in your jeans, dress or even the bikini bottoms you were to scared to wear in the past! If you combine this with the information within the beta switch system you’ll see some really rapid results!

9daydrop

The Boost Your Body Image Report

Sue and I both went through a long life of body image issues. I’m pretty sure if you’re reading this then at some point or maybe you’re still going through them too! It’s not easy and not everyone will understand, but Sue does and I do and because of the challenges Sue Heintze went through she created this report. No women should have to experience this, but the truth is most of us do.

It doesn’t help that the world we live in has fooled us into thinking we need to compete and compare ourselves to unrealistic photoshopped images. We see these beautiful women on magazines and books and believe that’s what we have to look like and that isn’t true at all. Sue created this report because she wants YOU to see the real you when you stare at the mirror and she wants you to love what you see!

Mind Over Matter: Win the Mental Game of Fat Loss

As I was writing this Beta Switch Review I realised I almost forgot to add this bonus which would have been awful because it’s a really great one! We all known working out and fitness is physical, but it’s also a mental game as well! Our mind and thoughts play a huge part in getting into shape. In this book Sue shares 4 really powerful, but simple rules that will help you to make the mental game of burning fat and losing weight easy and fun.

You’ll discover powerful emotional tactics that will help deliver rapid and permanent transformations of both your figure and your health! I honestly wish more fitness personalities focused on the mental aspect of health and fitness.

Click Here If You’re Ready To Activate your Beta Receptors to Slim Your Thighs, Bum and Backs of your Arms

The Pros of the System

The Beta Switch is amazing because it focuses specifically on women and how a lady’s body works, stores fat, uses fat , etc. Men and women are so different, and you can’t really trust a program that is co-ed because it’s like comparing a cat to a dog — there are just so many differences.

It is also fabulous because it’s relatable, easy to follow and the knowledge, although extensive, is retainable and fun to learn about. The Beta Switch isn’t a boring drag to follow, or unrealistic. You actually enjoy following this program. Shocking, I know. Sue Heintze provides so much detail it’s insane. Everything is laid out in perfect order, nothing is left out and it’s honestly like you have your own personal trainer, but without them yelling at you to do more burpees or squats lol.

One of the surprises of the Beta Switch course was the module called “Real Life Stories From Women Like You”! This module really hit me hard because I could relate to all of the women in this module. It’s a personal module with stories from other women like us, who have struggled with body image. In a world of women fitness programs I’ve never seen a module offered like this before.

So make sure you check out this module and I’m sure you’ll see what I’m talking about. The Beta Switch also is risk free in the sense that you have a 60 day refund period! So you have a full 60 days to try this program out! If you don’t like it or it’s just not a fit for you for whatever reason you can get all your money back! So really it’s risk free for up to 60 days! You can’t really beat that in my opinion.

The Cons Of The Beta Switch System

In this part of the review I want to talk about a few of the cons of the program. Wait! I thought you loved the course Chantal? First off, I do, but there is no such thing as a perfect program and if anyone tries to tell you that run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. Every online fitness/workout system can be improved in some areas. Also something to keep in mind is that a con is always a bad thing. Sometimes it can just serve as a warning to people on things to look out for.

So here are a few of my personal cons and things to just keep in mind before you purchase the course, if you decide to of course. First off, The Beta Switch by Sue Hieintze is ONLY for women! So if you’re a man you don’t need to be reading this review unless you plan on telling your mom, girlfriend, wife or just your friend about it. You can’t get your boyfriend, husband or guy friends to join in on it with you for motivation. Well, you could, but they wouldn’t benefit from the system because it was designed just for us ladies!

The Beta Switch is a completely online fitness/workout system so if you’re looking for a physical product sent to your door you’re not going to get it. This course is completely digital and everything can be accessed online. I only list this a con because I personally enjoy having a physical product. Still, the entire Beta Switch system can be downloaded, played on computers, Iphones, Ipads or a smart tv.

Click HERE To Visit The Official Beta Switch Website – Say Goodbye To Stubborn Fat!

A good potion of the program consist of manuals and guides and while there are a number of video modules I would have liked to see a few more videos. It’s not a bad thing at all, but I really like video. Now please keep in mind that The Beta Switch does have a lot of video training too, but I would have liked to see a video module for the main manual or something, but that’s just my personal preference.

As far as the content goes I couldn’t find a con! It’s literally that good! No filler or fluff information just pure “fat burning” get into your skinny jeans and feel great about yourself goodness!

Since it is just for the women, it clearly isn’t for everyone. You can’t get your boyfriend, husband or guy friends to join in on it with you. Well, you could but they wouldn’t benefit from it as much as you will. This really isn’t a problem though because the men in your life probably have totally different goals and mindset, so working out with the ladies or by yourself is the way to go.

Conclusion of The Beta Switch

We’ve finally come to the end of my Beta Switch Review. I know it was a long read, but unlike some reviewers online I want to make sure I provide you with all the information you need to know in this review to make an informed decision about this stubborn fat burning system. It’s important to know exactly what you’re getting with a course before you buy so you don’t feel ripped off.

I’ve had access to the course for a period of about 2 weeks and I’m still working my way through the entire program. I plan to complete it because it’s a 12 week training system. So far I’m loving every minute of it and I’m learning so much about myself in the process. I’m already seeing small results here and there and I’ve only just started! The workouts are fun, but they do push you so just keep at them and you’ll do fine!

You’ll be hanging out with your girlfriends in no time hearing them compliment you on how amazing you look! The key is to make sure you don’t give up though and you actually complete the Beta Switch system. No offense, but if you decide to stop the program it’s not the fault of the system! You have to stay motivated and keep pushing forward! Women were designed to be strong!

Think about it! We give birth….does anything else eend to be said! We’re amazing, inspiring, queens of the earth and The Beta Switch gives us the knowledge we need to take control of our bodies and shape them into anything we want for ourselves.

I think the Beta Switch system which helps women with stubborn fat loss takes online fitness courses to the next level and I hope others learn from Sue Heintze course and decide to make their products better because in the end nothing makes a product sell better then their customers getting “results”!

I have a feeling I’ll be getting a lot of great comments from my fellow ladies below telling me about their success! It’s all “Girl Power” within this course and I love it! Thanks for taking the time to read my complete and in-depth and detailed Beta Switch Review. You can learn more about it and check out her official website by clicking HERE.