#written before i read koa

[chimaerakitten]

I’ve been thinking today about off ramps in long running stories, especially book series.

By that I mean like, places where a person could stop reading and have a satisfying ending even if they’re not yet at the actual ending. (Someone tell me if there’s an established Tvtropes name for this I’m missing.)

Now, a lot of book series will have an off ramp at the end of book 1, because many first books are written without promise of a sequel. Like sure, there might be a sequel hook, but the actual second book is still up to publisher whims in most cases. So you can read All Systems Red or The Thief or A Madness of Angels and have a perfectly satisfying ambiguous-end sci-fi story or middle grade fantasy romp or inverted murder mystery revenge quest without ever picking up book 2. This is definitely an off ramp but it’s not necessarily the interesting or revealing kind because again. Whims of the publisher.

There’s also stories that have an off ramp after every installment. Leverage is famous for this—they had a philosophy of having every season be a satisfying ending, which says a lot both about the writers and about the story they were trying to tell.

But I think the most interesting ramps are the ones where by design or by circumstance, there’s a single off-ramp somewhere in the middle. One spot where unless someone tells you there’s more, you’d never be unsatisfied with leaving halfway through.

Sometimes these will be signaled in some way, where there’s a big timeskip after the off-ramp, or the series changes names or has a spin-off, or the POV changes, or after book 3 the author publishes a short story collection before hopping back in to novels, or the series suddenly jumps from being only novellas to a chunky 120k novel. (The Raksura books, Percy Jackson/HoE, Matthew Swift/Magicals Anonymous, and Murderbot all do one or more of these)

But sometimes off ramps aren’t visible in series order or marketing. Sometimes they’re organic to where a story happens to leave off at the end of an installment.

The queen’s thief has one of these after King Of Attolia. I know this was a satisfying ending because for seven years I thought it was the end. My local library didn’t have A Conspiracy of Kings, so I thought it was a trilogy. And you really can leave it there! KoA ends with Gen back in his element and recognized as king, the main internal threat to Irene neutralized, and peace on the peninsula. The Mede aren’t yet the immediate threat they are in the back half of the series, since up through KoA they’re mainly represented by the magus’s vague warnings and Nahuseresh, whom Irene thinks circles around. There’s no real reason to assume the Mede are a threat within the scope of the series. Now I absolutely prefer getting the whole story, but KoA is a damn solid off-ramp for anyone who feels like exiting there.

And that’s one kind of off ramp where the end you get is pretty similar in tone (mostly happy) to the one you get if you go on to the rest of the series. I’ve also read books where you can off ramp successfully right at the lowest point in the series and get a tragedy out of a series that ultimately ends happy, or leave at a high point and get a happier end than the main one, or exit at an ambiguous point and continue on with ambiguity. The Giver sequels make it pretty clear what happened to Jonas and Gabe at the end of the book. but you don’t have to read them or have that question answered if you want to.

I don’t have a really solid conclusion to draw here except that I think the positioning of off ramps says a lot about authors and stories, and choosing whether or not to take an off ramp says a lot about readers.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

I'm on a roll with the s/j/m hatred tn so I'm going to compile a masterlist of all her shitty lgbt/poc representation and why it sucks booty cheeks. it should be noted that none of this is meant as shade on any of the characters themselves... I actually happen to like quite a lot of them

EDIT: there are some nice additions to this post in the notes you can check out

LGBT rep

Aedion (Bi/Pan)

Literally known as “Adarlan’s Whore” (a nickname that references both his allegiance to the king and his tendency to sleep around)

His only same-sex relationship is with a vaguely-mentioned unnamed lover from the past (it’s not even said straight-up that they’re a man, but I’m assuming they are bc they’re mentioned to be a commander of the Bane)

He’s shown being attracted to women and only women for two and a half books. He’s a womanizer retconned into the slutty bisexual stereotype

His liking men & women is compared to prostitution

It’s insinuated in koa that he slept with an ex while he and Lysandra were fighting (because the cheating bisexual trope is such a new & creative one!)

Helion (Bi/Pan)

He’s always trying to have 4somes with three of the main characters

Realistically he’s probably one of the most powerful/interesting High Lords but this gets sidelined in favor of him flirting with eVeRyOnE

All we really know about him is his name and the fact that he’s a bit of a manwhore… very 2-dimensional

He has an affair & a child with a married woman… just the Slutty/Cheating Bisexual Trope (Volume 2) :/

Mor (Lesbian? Possibly bi?)

She’s never shown in any real relationships (with men or women)

She had tragic off-screen relationship with a mortal queen a few hundred years ago

We get literally no hints that she’s gay throughout the series, she just randomly mentions she likes women at the end of book 3

She gets no happy relationship, she stays closeted to spare Az’s feelings (as though he’s not a grown ass man), she’s retconned into her sexuality most of the way through the series… just shitty shitty rep all around

Hasar (Lesbian)

She’s a villain, and a shitty one at that

Lesbian rep from a side character in one novella that half the fandom didn’t read? What’s even the point?

Thesan (Gay)

A very minor character & his unnamed “lover” who serve no narrative purpose whatsoever… thanks for nothing sarah

Emrys & Malachai (Presumably gay)

Oh look! More minor, background mlm that might as well not exist for all they do for the story :/

They are cute though, I’ll give them that

POC rep

Nehemia

First (and only) black main in ToG

She dies to fuel the white protag’s character arc… a very tired trope

She was actually a pretty well-written, likable character up until her brutal murder, which made it that much worse to hear about her organs strewn all over the room

Sorscha 

Described as “plain” (particularly in contrast to the white women like Aelin & Lysandra)

We know she’s POC because of where she’s from, but the way her features are described suggest she could still be white

Dark hair, gold eyes, “tan” skin

She really just fawns over white-boy Dorian every 2 seconds before dying a violent death to fuel Dorian’s arc…

…Aaaand I’m sensing a pattern here

Nesryn

Much of her character (especially in QoS) is reduced to her beefing with Aelin (and thus being villanized by the narrative) because of jealousy over Chaol 

Simply described as having “tan” skin (again). I think sarah is allergic to calling people brown

She is also described as plain compared to white protagonist

She has a (presumably middle eastern) family that only wants her to stay home and be a baker/someone’s wife

Yrene 

Once again very racially ambiguous to the point where she could even be white, with “tan/golden” skin, golden hair, and golden eyes

She almost immediately ties her literal life force to a white man she hated like a month ago. Seriously, can WOC not fawn over a hunky white man for once?

She defeats erawan in the end — considering she’s been a character for such a short time, this just feels more like a deus ex machina the anything really set up by the plot

Helion 

Not going to fully rehash what I said above but generally… he has great potential, but is basically not a character

Tarquin 

He’s portrayed as very nice and reasonable, if young and naive, yet he literally only exists to get manipulated/robbed by the main characters

He seems like such a sweetheart. He deserved much better than Riceman and Feyrug doing him dirty like that

I’ve heard rumors of a High King/Queen F*ysand plotline in later books…if that happens, Tarquin will likely be bending the knee and forgiving the people who fucked him over just a short time ago

Lucien

He’s described as very caring and loyal (yay!) which seems to always get him taken advantage of (damn!)

He’s portrayed (especially in ACOWAR) as someone we’re supposed to dislike when all his actions are perfectly reasonable

He’s literally retconned out of being white when it’s revealed Helion is his father instead of Beron. I’ve seen ppl get mad at “white-washed” fan art but it’s hard to expect much else when his original character description was straight red hair, amber eyes,  and “tan” skin (holy shit agAIN)

The people of the White Fangs from TOG

They’re described as having black hair, black eyes, and “tan” skin

They live isolated in the mountains (away from civilization) and are described as “savage” and warlike, always raiding villages in the mountains and stealing women away from their homes… 

Cain, who’s from these people, dabbles in dark magic/religion nobody else understands

This is feeling, intentional or not, like a horrible Native American caricature. Idk maybe that’s just me

[harperbrynne]

MY 9/26 SJM LIVE Notes

***This is not a full summary of the live. Only some notes I took that I thought were the most interesting to me that I wanted to share. Everything is broken down based on the series mentioned and not in chronological order.

ACOTAR: 

While she was working on the book she’s writing right now, she spent a whole day writing a scene and thought it was dumb. She didn’t believe it was even good enough for bonus scene material 

Now that CC 3 is done, what are you working on now? SJM is working on drafting the next ACOTAR novel. She’s become so obsessed with writing this book that she’s thinking about the book nonstop. She’s not sure when the draft will be completed

CC: 

Hunt’s parentage and origins: Readers will learn more about Hunt in the next book. SJM makes no promises for his well being

The Autumn king and possible connection to the Autumn Court–  SJM knew who Bryce’s biological father was, but in the process of writing and editing, he became one of her favorite characters to write because he’s so horrible and is capable of doing the right thing but doesn’t. SJM thinks it’s fun to put opposing characters like Bryce and Ruhn with the Autumn King. She didn't say anything about the Autumn Court

How much of Bryce's powers has she accessed? SJM said you will see in next book

We know magic is weaker in the modern world, does a mating bond mean the same thing in CC as in the ACOTAR books? SJM chose not to answer

Is Hunt really Bryce’s mate? SJM said yes they are mates and when she was creating the series she knew how ToG and ACOTAR went with their similar romance tropes. She wanted to do a doozy and make the guy in the beginning be the guy in the end for CC

ACOTAR/CC

Can we expect to see additional POVs from ACOTAR characters in HOFAS? She wouldn't say, but said you would see the ACOTAR world for sure and it will pick up after that final scene in HOSAB

SJM was asked if she still stood by her comment that people did not need to read ACOTAR to start CC. She did not stand by that statement. She said you should read ACOTAR, but for readers who haven’t yet, she hopes they will get to the end of HOSAB and read it 

ACOTAR/ToG/CC 

Has SJM known all along about the idea of the worlds crossing? Was it intentional all those years ago? SJM claimed she is not a genius. She’s known for a while that the world overlapped even before working on KoA. CC was already a story in her mind so when she wrote the scene with Alien, she knew she wanted her to go through the ACOTAR world and thought it would be cool if she went through the CC world as well. For the most part, CC was a fun side project SJM wasn’t taking super seriously at the time when writing ToG. When she was actually really working on CC, she began daydreaming about the idea of the worlds being connected. Out of the blue, everything clicked in terms of the worlds being truly connected based on what she had already written. That’s when she really started planting seeds for the worlds overlapping in the first CC novel

Other information I thought was fun or interesting not directly related to any of the series: 

Taron calls SJM: Sarah J Mask. Taron is obsessed with TS and SJM said she is too. She's always loved TS, but now that Taron is obsessed with her, they’ve only listened to her music in the car. In the eyes of her son the only creative genius in the world is TS

SJM confirmed she doesn’t use social media/lurk on the internet. Friends will text her theories from fans, but that’s all she will see 

She used to only edit physical copies of her manuscript and she remembers having tear stains on the manuscripts from crying. She loved seeing the tearmarkers showing just how much she loved the characters as she was rereading what she had written

[soldier-poet-king]

Finished my reread of the thief today, first once since rott, and like. Oh man oh man. I had a strange grief in rott because it almost felt like Gen's parentage speculations come from nowhere, I adored the book, but idk smthn about that gutted me in an unpleasant way and idk why! (I think it's just having read the first 3 books as a tween and then rereading them obsessively for over a decade before the sequels gives one a skewed perspective)

But like. Rereading the thief now. Oh. Oh. It's all been recontextualized. Everything about Eugenides status as an outcast in Eddis is recontextualized. It fits. It all fits. The strange odd grief I'd been harbouring since rott is gone. I should've just trusted mwt. She's a genius. Like. Even if it wasn't intentionally foreshadowed BC y'know, 20+ years in the making, but it works as written. And everything Gen says about his cousins, aunts, and uncles in the thief now clicks into place. Idk how to explain it other than it's like. The recontextualization of the beginning and end of koa, but spread out through the whole series. Through Eugenides' as a character. Bookending the books. I'm. ??? Emotional and idk why

[orbitaldeathwoomy]

[A few days later, Koa drops off the laptop containing the stolen Octarian files with Ruby, along with a message for Akihiko. When he gets home Ruby is in the living room, laying on the couch and playing on her phone while she waits for him. When she hears him enter the room, she sits up and smiles at him.]

"Koa's laptop is over there."

[She points to a plain-looking laptop sitting on the end table next to the couch. Akihiko nods and takes the laptop, before sitting down next to her.]

"She told me to tell you that she practically gutted it, and that besides running the OS and viewing the files you asked for it can't do much of anything."

[Ruby then hands him a scrap of paper with what appears to be a long string of random numbers, letters, and symbols written on it.]

"And here's the password to log in!"

"Thank you, Ruby."

[Akihiko takes the slip of paper and turns the laptop on. After logging in, he quickly finds the files he asked Koa to give him and starts looking through them. He's largely silent, until Ruby leans over to see what's on the screen.]

"So what are you looking for?"

"Anything I might be able to use against Cerrin's parents..."

[He continues to search through the files Koa gave him, with Ruby occasionally reading over his shoulder. After what felt like hours, he stumbles upon something...]

「...Interesting.」

[Ruby looks up from her phone and over to him.]

「Did you find something?」

[Akihiko reads through the documents he found buried deep in the file for Cerrin's father, his expression slowly changing into an almost devious one.]

「I think I've struck gold.」

[witching-by-the-willow]

um Niki... I finished ToG. and manorian??? MANORIAN?????

'We'll see about that' WHAT DO YOU MEAN MANON?? are you thinking about marriage?? What does this??

This is like 'So Lorcan did'. well what did he do? What does it mean sarah??

I need the manorian book NOW

LIA BESTIE I KNOOOOOWW IT'S SUCH BLASPHEMY

Sarah Janet really wrote, in my not-so-humble opinion, her best ship with Manorian (enermies to enemies-to-beneifts to reluctant allies to friends-with-benefits to Lovers???) and then decided to leave them where she did. Like-

The nerve the disrespect the audacity.

The Manorian ending and "So Lorcan did" are some of the worst literary crimes ever committed. 😤

Lia my friend, the world will end before I stop hoping and asking for a Manorian book.

In the meantime, though...here are the fics I had mentioned all those weeks back:

Your Heart's Got Teeth by @lightning-strikes-twice (kinky af 🙈)

A Cure for Nightmares by @rhysand-vs-fenrys (set pre-KoA, also kinky af)

Home is Where You Are by @mercurianbisous (set a couple of years into the future, gives some of the closure that SJM robbed us of. Angst, fluff and perhaps, maybe, possibly...a wedding ceremony? You'll find out when you read it 😌)

Aside from those ones, @rufousnmacska has a lot of really good Manorian fics on her blog, I've read some of hers, and they're all so good!

All these fics are amazing, and I love them with all my heart...and they're all one shots. I have read a few multi-chapter ones but I'm having trouble finding or remembering them, I'm so sorry!

I also may or may not have a half-written fic in my drafts that has been sitting untouched for the last 2 months aksnsjdjksndjebfb I'm sorry I will finish it eventually, but academics have been kicking my ass so hard lately

But let me know what you think of these and send me recs if you have any! 👀

[lia-land]

Empire of Storms

4/5 stars

*Spoilers for Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas.

Aelin’s secret plans are getting tedious and repetitive, to the point where I don’t actually care about her character as much anymore because I know she’ll just pull out some secret plan like always. It was fun at first, but 6 books in, I would enjoy seeing her through the process for these plans instead of just being told about them when needed. All of this made me sort of relieved about how this book ended because for once, she wasn’t saves by some convenient secret plan and now I’m actually excited to read Kingdom of Ash.

The whole reveal to Rolfe that Aelin was Celaena gave me secondhand embarrassment. How Rowan did not get the ick is beyond me. I’m far more invested in Manon and Dorian than anyone else. That was an odd pairing at first but I’m so excited to see where their relationship goes. I felt sad for Manon for a lot of this book, especially her finding out that she killed her half sister. I’m obsessed with Abraxos!!! I’ll be so sad if he dies, but knowing SJM’s style, I don’t think that will happen.

I partially discussed this next point in my review of The Assasin’s Blade, which is that SJM could have made its position in the series so much clearer if she wanted to. Illias and the Silent Assassins appearance was barely explained. It’s not important to the story that Illias and Celaena had a ‘fling,’ but it would have been nice to have more context on the Silent Assassin’s for those who didn’t read AB since it’s not officially been listed as an essential book in the series. This is especially important regarding Ansel of Briarcliff, too. There is so much history there with her and Aelin and the extent of it wasn’t mentioned. I don’t fully understand why they’re back on such friendly terms after the last interaction between her and Aelin. Obviously Aelin needed Ansel’s help and I understand her putting the greater good above her own grudge, but they’e talking like good friends in EoS and I don’t recall reading about why Aelin essentially forgives her and is so trusting all of a sudden. I’d actually love to read about how Ansel became Queen of the Wastes.

As usual, there were a lot of interesting reveals towards the end. The chapter with Nehemia going through the marshes for weeks on her own and wanting to sacrifice herself was beautifully written. I would absolutely read a whole book about her life before coming to Rifthold.

I had a feeling Rowan and Aelin were mates, but I did not see the marriage coming. This is the second secret wedding scene I’d like to demand from SJM as a bonus chapter (iykyk). Lysandra now acting as Aelin is also so twisted and interesting. It’s one of my favorite plot points so far and I can’t wait to see what comes of it in KoA.

I liked Elide in the last book, but didn’t particularly enjoy reading about her in this one. She had Aelin, Manon, and Lorcan fighting over their ‘claim’ to her and I kept waiting for her to stand up for herself and tell them that she will choose. Like, girl, you’ve been ‘owned’ for most of your life… I’ll be very surprised if she doesn’t say something along those lines in KoA. 

I didn’t know how I felt about Aedion until this book. I’ve decided I don’t like him and he’s just very… clingy? I would not be mad if he was killed off at some point soon. I might even dislike him more than Chaol. 

I would appreciate a family tree at the start of these books alongside/instead of a map because it easily gets confusing. When Elena revealed her mother was Mala, I didn’t know that was supposed to be a big reveal because I still have very little idea about what the relationship between her and Aelin and Maeve is. I also didn’t pick up on how Aelin and Dorian and loosely related and I still have no clue about how all that connects. I’m still trying to figure out how Roland fit into things. I’d appreciate a diagram of sorts, but I don’t want to Google a family tree until after the series in case there are spoilers.

I also didn’t do the tandem read so I’ll have to read through about 700 pages of Tower of Dawn before finding out what happens to Aelin which I’m not particularly looking forward to because I truly do not care for Chaol or Nesryn.

Can I just say how HARD it is to avoid spoilers for KoA… My algorithm on insta and TikTok is fully ACOTAR right now so I see the occasional Throne of Glass videos and I’m still so impressed that I’ve been able to avoid things, but we’ll see if I fully get through the next two books without spoilers. My theory as of now is that there will be a time skip at some point in KoA, maybe a few centuries even? I also think Dorian is going to end up evil. I'm excited for the political drama that will come from Dorian and Manon’s relationship.

The last 50 pages or so of this book are 5 stars. Overall, 4.

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

I finally read From Blood and Ash series after it’s been on my radar forever since you post about it. I just wanted to see if you like it better than ToG? I can’t decide how I would compare the series!

Oh I hope you enjoyed fbaa!!

This is a good question because I've never thought of them as similar or being all that comparable before so idk! I will say that ToG is the better series. It's a fully completed series, with great characters and great chatacter arcs. And it's really consistent. Some series, especially longer one's can drop off on quality but for ToG my fave books are the 3rd, 5th and 7th. And ToG also has a great last book. There are always high expectations for final books so they can often be disappointing but I love the final ToG book! It brings all the characters and story lines together so well, which is a feat considering how many characters there are, and has a really satisfying ending. I just loved it! I'll also never be able to thank sjm enough for the amount of Fenrys (my boy, my love) we got in KoA. It really made the book for me!

Fbaa on the other hand the quality drops off a little as the series goes on. I personally love all 4 books but the first 2, particularly the second are my fave while the fourth book is my least fave (still really enjoyed it though). Fbaa also suffers from the use of too many modern words and expressions which make no sense existing in that fantasy world. And it can take you out of the story a bit. It doesn't personally really bother me, but I do notice it everytime it happens. So yeah I'd say ToG is the better written, better quality series.

However all that being said I just love fbaa! It's the series I'm currently more obsessed with and hyperfixated on whereas it's been a few years since I read ToG so the passion has worn off. So I'd say fbaa is the series I love more, currently. It might not be the highest quality but I just really, really enjoy it and have a lot of passion for it. And I love the characters so much and can't wait for the next book! And I'm super pumped for the Casteel pov version of the first book that JLA said was coming eventually so yeah

[igarbagecannoteven]

hi megs :) i can't believe you scheduled that ask game for over a year ahead but I am here to ask if you are so inclined to answer! 3, 11 (i know you try to be equal opportunity, but i'd love to know if you think you do have preferences despite that), 14, and 18 for fear the fever if you'd like -hazel

hiya hazel! thanks so much for sending these in i love you and hope you're doing well 💙 hopefully you still want to hear the answers to these lol

3. what are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? pining, completely off-the-wall premises, people being covered in blood, cars, friends to lovers, & general sillyness broken up by characters being emotionally devestated :))

11. are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? i do try my best to distribute my love and fic writing across all the pairings, but i am human i am willing to admit that i occasisionally truck with favoritism (shh don't tell anyone) i have always had a soft-spot for writing lashton and malum, partly bc of what was going on in the fic community when i joined & bc i think their dynamics are pretty natural for me to write. like i can't imagine writing malum as anything other than friends to lovers which is one of my favorite tropes, and lashton are very easy to emotionally devestate bc i have a pretty clear idea of what my fictionalized versions of them would do in response to x thing happening to the other. but i also go through spirts of favoring other pairings! there was a period of time where all the wips i started were mashton (and someday i will finish them,,, someday)

14. are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? oh definitely! i think anything that starts to enter the morally grey area (ie fics involving violence or sa or sh) are ones that i don't tend to read unless i know the author's work, just bc it can be really easy to butcher a darker-themed fic, either making it unrealistic or overly romanticized or too preachy for my tastes. i also tend to be pretty hesitant to read fics that are written in a non-au (or in an au very similar to our world), and i like to be familiar with what the author thinks of each of the band members before i dive in. it's fine if their interpretation is different from mine (and it often is lol) but i like to know what to expect and know that they aren't going to be portrayed in an incredibly flat manner. what can i say i'm a bit of a writing snob lol

18. if you wrote a sequel to [fear the fever], what would it involve? welll i may or may not already have a doc with sequel ideas for this fic sooo 👀 i'm still deciding exactly how i want to handle it, but the idea currently in the lead is following them on their roadtrip to malum's wedding and exploring all the struggles that would come with that (only being able to travel when the sun's down, dealing with luke's craving and being regularly trapped in smaller spaces together like the car & motel rooms) and *meanwhile* we'd be following mali koa, who is also on the way to the wedding but she's a secret vampire hunter *cue dramatic music* who picks up on signs that a newborn vampire is heading the same way she is and decides to track it down along the way. the drama! the suspense! the potential! i would love love love to write this and it may be the next long(er) fic i write after i finish my monstrosity of a wip

[reneereadskingdomofash]

The KoA Prediction Post - MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS BELOW CUT - I JUST DONT KNOW. *shrug*

My book is here, I haven’t even opened it for fear that even the map could spoil me - and believe me, that is incredibly hard for me if you have seen my Erilea post. 

So Below the cut I’m going to put some of my predictions for Kingdom of Ash. I don’t want to be too specific, and this isn’t a theory post - the boat has sailed on those due to no time left to write them. (just finished writing it and it got long... whoops)

Please do not read if you don’t want my predictions. 

I have avoided all spoiled content and even excerpts released by bloomsbury/+partners. 

I have only read the acotar/tog series before this... a few times tho ;). 

I have only skimmed koa quotes on those lovely blue backgrounds and tried not to freak out about them - or look too deeply because I viewed those as spoilers of a kind.

so here we go...

KOA PREDICTIONS - IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

Character Predictions:

1. Yrene is a witch

2. Elorcan will be ok

3. Chaol will use his cane in a fight

4. Yrene has royal blood - light of Ellwye was Nehemia’s title, but what if it belonged to another?

5. Elena lied to the gods when she promised the sacrifice of Mala’s heir because Gavin tasted her lies - reveal what she will do instead. Gavin promised something to the Sin eater god - cant remember if thats just theory or confirmed anymore.

6. Elide is revealed to be descendant of Rhiannon and maybe... maybe... Brannon’s line. A hidden child from a relationship that grew after Mala’s sacrifice and once Elena was laid to rest, So Elena would have no knowledge - I remember that hand brushing Brannon’s cheek in that tomb.

7. Evangaline is super important - either as a child for Rowaelin when they cannot have their own or to bring hope to Terrasen. I’m always suspicious of children being given major roles in an otherwise “adult/post18yrold” world (but that means the likelyhood of Lysandra dying is high and that hurts - a lot!! so I don’t want to think of it too much).

8. I’m not predicting deaths - i’m not ready.

9. The Bluebloods side with Manon. 

10. Dorian/The King of Ardarlan has/had witch blood

11. Chaol’s family keep/heritage is about fighting darkness seeping through from the whitefangs and ferrian gap and will be important. 

12. Darrow has to die. He’s too much like the “steward of Gondor” in Lord of the Rings and pisses me off. So he can just die. 

13. Maeve is not going to die. thats my gut telling me that.

Storyline Predictions

1. There will be a volcanic eruption that will seal ancient gateways that used to be used bring things from other worlds into Erliea. - rising up from the core of Erilea and spreading into all the forgotten places in the world.  

2. There will be a lake that acts as a traveling mirror - aka the silver lake. Maybe to another realm as Nesryn saw shadows in the lake on the southern continent, and that just seems way to convenient OR to another continent or place as a means of escape OR for armies to travel through.

3. The Wyrd gate will be in the Ferrian Gap/Omega... though 

“RIFT // HOLD” is so obvious. it could easily be there too. 

4. Aelin will not be able to save the day alone

. - joining of the 12 scions who each have a god guiding them - they will all be needed at some point, sacrifice for the endgame is possible or a special skill. its yet to be seen. 

5. Yrene is taking the place Nehemia thought was hers. The light of Ellwye.

... Traveling Mirror in EOS - 

“Keys and gates and locks—portals and pits and prophecies.” EOS 

She is going to deal with the “pits” of despair within everyone, saving the creatures infected by the Valg. (A discussion between Dorian and Manon in Eos about what will happen to the witches is still at the forefront of my mind - what will happen to All the valg creatures who have been a part of Erilea for millennia? I think Yrene will take away the “parasitic valg” and try to heal those she can, but it will be more about people learning to accept the good with the bad. Looking at ourselves and knowing that we are more than just good are evil. That to find a soul mate they see everything of us, the good the bad the ugly and accept it. That we need to accept it in ourselves to accept it in others. And that we all have the potential to be consumed by this darkness, but only if we let it. (Woah that got philosophical) 

“Yrene said quietly, “The darkness belongs to you. To shape as you will. To give it power or render it harmless.”  TOD

“This pit. The bottom of the descent. The hollow hell beneath the roots of a mountain. Here, where all was locked and buried. Here, where all had come to take root. The empty foundation, mined and hacked apart, crumbled away into nothing but this pit. Nothing.” - TOD

6. Confirmation that ACOTAR and TOG are linked closer than We know. Either Geography will match up after a volcanic eruption or a revel will ocurr eg we see it through the wryd gate. There are just tooooo many similarities. 

- I’m still so torn. Either Aelin pours the light into the Afterworld through the Wryd gate and spreads life and renewal into a dark cold world. aka prythian. And she sends some people/creatures there too.

- Or they die and go there too. which hurts but ok. 

- Or Erliea is Prythian and geography changes over time and magic changes after Aelin makes the cauldron.

- Aelin makes the cauldron as a “lock” to hold the wyrd keys. and uses manon’s iron to do it. Iron can negate the magics effects, hold it, contain it. And manon’s iron is already combining the magic from fae and valg together. so ... yea... I have thoughts.  

7. The lock/eye of elena/three-faced goddess. is the “key” to forging the lock, the circles telling them who they need, whose power to combine and it needs the power of different people to bind together. raw power + 3/4 women.  

8. Maeve will travel as far from the Wyrd Gate as possible. She doesn’t want it used. So Maeve will probably be in Donarelle or the Black Dunes - Coz I still think Maeve traveled around the world a bit and has come cults working for her, so she can do that. (I wrote a poem a long time ago about Maeve=Lani=Vanth=Styrga if you want to see my thought process).

9. Wolves - All wolves are loyal to Aelin. Just like healers who shape shift into owls were loyal to Silba. Its a clue. Anyone who isn't described as wolflike I would be suspicious of. Spider-like = bad guy. aka Maeve.

10. Arthril = stuck next to maeve as an owl. hes in owl form. unable to change. fleed when Maeve got the golden ring from aelin in hof. suspicious. 

11. Erawan is contained again in black stone, because Aelin doesn't want him finding a way back. Contained in Erilea on a mountain or Contained in the Afterworld - yet to be seen.. though that stone monolith on Ramiel in ACOFAS is not giving me the best feeling. 

12. Maeve is Styrga and is contained not destroyed. I dont think maeve is gonna die - She is kept in place, magic depleted. the ancient forest watching over her. Oakwald forest - that alive forest with sentience, keeps her contained. she is near the Sacred mountain in ACOTAR because this is the Sacred mountain that Aelin either pours the cauldron onto or that she erupts from. (depending on if Prythian is in the afterworld or Erilea). 

13. Judging by Maps - Morath seems a likely location for a volcanic eruption. the whole bottom of Erilea has volcanic activity - black sands, volcanic rock in the dead islands, simmering water in Ellwye and a catastrophic event that made the land collapse - aka some geographical phenomenon. though in Tower of Dawn Chaol mentions hot springs near Anneille so I guess there is volcanic activity up there too, so it could equally be an eruption at the Omega or near the Omega. Or both. Y i k e s.   

13. Lorcan and Aelin will need to work together - darkness and light. and lorcan wont be happy about it. there has to be a light and dark link - but these two having such animosity towards eachother makes me think it might be them.

OK I’M GOING TO STOP THERE BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO READ THIS DAMN BOOK. AND ILL NEVER STOP AND IT IS ALREADY TURNING INTO A DAMN THEORY POST.

Honestly I have a whole discord for my theory quotes / thoughts right now. lol non-published ones. and i also bla bla my thoughts all through this. so like. hahaha. lets get into this.  

[queentala]

Oh hey, (i'm sorry if my english is a shit, english is not my first language) you can do a imagine of Lorcan Salvaterre x f!reader? I like him and i never find one imagine of him.

Thank youuu ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Note: I’m sorry for all those who requested smuts but it was NNN and ya know... Plus because of school I don’t even have time to sleep so probably I won’t post much before the Christmas break. But I’m answering to all of your requests. It’s taking me long but I’ll do it, I swear <3 And for now here you have Lorcan x reader 8k words long roller coaster.

‼️Important info: I rewrote the last scene as I came to the conclusion my first draft was kinda unreal and too sweet. I mean, don’t worry it’s still fluff but 500 words longer. So go and read it

Death and Mist

Lorcan Salvaterre x f!reader

Summary: from two children meeting in a dark alley of Doranelle through 500 years of friendship and hate to... see yourself

Warnings: mention of sex and rape, tortures, blood, few swears, trauma

Words: 7952

Note: spoilers for KoA!!!; this is au where Maeve is captured and overthrown by Doranelle without participation of Aelin. Just the cadre.

The night was chilly but beautiful. Bright stars and full moon illuminated your way as you wander through the city. You wrapped your thin coat tighter around your body when you felt shivers again. Your clothes were worn out and bit too small as you grow taller lately, definitely not enough to protect you from upcoming winters’ cold. The constant rumbling of your stomach didn't helped either. All stores were closed because of some holiday so you hadn’t had a chance to steal anything to eat. All those days without food slowly began to make themselves felt and seen because you felt like you were about to pass out at any moment and your ribs were more visible than usual. 

You passed one of dark streets of Doranelle when smell of blood hit your nose. Your hand immediately wandered to the old dagger hidden under your cloak. Closing your eyes you reached for your power which you still learned to control. Power old and mysterious but fascinating, that allowed you to completely vanish, become impalpable and move around without revealing your presence.  A gray mist appeared around your legs and started fawning at them like a cat, comforting and guarding you at once. You melted into it. Suddenly your body had no longer weight or any form. No limits. Of course you still felt your legs and arms and everything else. You could walk, run, move things and talk but no one was able to acknowledge your presence. 

Despite being invisible your steps were very careful and quiet as if somebody might hear you. Delving further down the alley you heard little grunts of pain. Turning the corner you saw a young boy. He was about thirteen or fourteen, definitely around your age. His black hair was dirty and neglected and so were his clothes. Your eyes wandered to his lifted shirt and awful wound on his stomach. It was coated with dried blood mixed with dust. From experience you knew this cannot end up well.

You started walking towards the boy. Usually you stayed away from literally everybody but seeing him struggling with the wound that might be deadly if not cleaned and provided you decided to go out of your comfort zone.

“Can I help you somehow?” you asked, standing few steps away from the boy. Your voice was quiet and soft but confident. His scent hit your nose and you realized he is only half Fae.

What the heck are you doing in Doranelle, city where only pure-bloods Faes are allowed?! How are you still alive?

The mysterious boy immediately grabbed his own dagger and started looking around in all directions with confusion written in his onyx eyes. That’s when you realized you are still wrapped in your mist. With one thought you let it slide off your body to your feet, revealing your presence. With the fog billowing around you, skinny face and messy hair you must have looked like a spectrum because the boy’s dark skin turned paler as he slightly moved away from you.

“Sorry, I didn’t meant to scare you.” You looked down with sad frown and apologetic smile. “I just wanted to help... Your wound needs to be cleaned and prov...”

“I’m good.” You were interrupted. You lifted your eyes and looked at the boy sitting against the wall, staring at you with angry and annoyed look. “Go away.”

For a moment you truly thought about turning around and walking away but something in your head were telling you to help this stubborn child. Instead taking a step back you took a step forward. Kneeling down beside black haired boy you took out of your bag clean cloth and a bottle of water. The demi-Fae opened his mouth to protest but you already started cleaning his ripped skin. Using your magic you managed to quicken the healing and bandaged his wound with some material you had in your bag.

“At least now you won’t die from infection.” You stood up and crossed your arms over your chest. The boy just sat there, blankly staring at the broken lantern in front of him. Feeling you won’t even get a “thank you”, you started walking away but were stopped by the boy’s words.

“You look like a skeleton... I have some food.” You looked over your shoulder and crossed your eyes with the onyx ones. The boy pulled out half a loaf of bread out of his bag and nodded for you to sit beside him. So you did. What else you had to do anyways?

You ate in silence for a few minutes, surrounded only by moonlight, your mist and sounds of the sleeping city.

“Thank you” you said finishing your food. It wasn’t much but enough for you to feel better. The boy still kept silent so clearly you were supposed to keep this conversation going. “What are you doing here?”

“My mother is dead. My father is an asshole. Basically, I’m trying to survive.” his voice was raspy, with no emotions. The boy looked into your eyes and you smiled sadly.

“Well... it might be easier if you had someone by your side, you know.” He raised one of his eyebrows and shoot you a look that was saying “are you stupid or dumb” but quickly you added: “You need somebody to take care of your wounds because you clearly lack those skills.”

“Okay, but if you get lost, I’m not even searching for you.” Your new comrade sighed and rested his head against the wall closing his eyes.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” You said and closed your eyes as well.

“Lorcan.”

***

“Hey! Look what I got!” You ran into the abandoned cottage that you and Lorcan used as your hideaway lately. It was small and old but properly insulated so it was enough. Plus there was forest not far away where you could hunt and train and a lake from where you had clear water.

A twenty-few years old, tall demi-Fae was cleaning his blades out of blood in the kitchen. So he was hunting. Or killing somebody but you didn’t really cared. His eyes wandered to your happy face and a small smile appeared on his face as well - a rare miracle that happened only when you were around. You put two big boxes you just got in front of him. Lorcan put down his knife and looked inside them. A sparkle in his eyes appeared when he saw all those food, clothes, weapon and purses with golden coins.

“How did you get it?!” Surprise in his voice made your smile even bigger. Lorcan looked through your new property with disbelief on his face.

“I have my ways.” You waved your hand and took a strawberry out of the basket with fruits.

“You’re amazing!”

The way Lorcan looked at you made you proud. Through those few last years you grew closer saving each other’s asses and wandering around the country together. You helped each other go through the Settling and learn how to control and use your magic that turned out to be much more powerful than you expected in both cases. After few years the two of you discovered that you’re carranam what made you even more powerful. By helping this stubborn kid in a dark alley few years ago you earned a true best friend. You perfectly remembered the words Lorcan said to you that night. Okay, but if you get lost, I’m not even searching for you. Now you knew that if you went missing he would tear the world apart to find you. And you would do the same for him.

“I have to tell you something” Lorcan said turning his eyes towards you, his face turning impossibly serious, making you worried. You leaned against the wall and prepared yourself for whats to come. “We caught Maeve’s eye...”

Your hands dropped to your sides and face turned pale. If Maeve knew about your actions in Doranelle you will be dead by tomorrow. In fact, it was obvious that sooner or later she would find out about two Faes with strange magic that run around her country causing trouble but when it finally happened...

“She is impressed with our powers and wants us in her army.” Lorcan finished and hearing that you fell to the floor. Your butt ached as you stared at your friend trying to proceed his words.

“Wait wait wait... Maeve. Queen of Doranelle.” Lorcan nodded, amused by your reaction. “She wants us to swear the Blood Oath and serve her as warriors.” One more nod confirming your words. You raised from the floor and threw yourself into Lorcan’s arms. He hesitated for a moment but finally hugged you back. “Oh gods...” you couldn’t believe this. Serving Maeve was the greatest honor possible plus it ensured living in luxury and glory.

“You know that means we have a lot of training ahead of us, and then a lot of wars and battles to fight. Our life will revolve around death.” You stepped away from Lorcan’s arms and looked at his sharp facial features.

“I know but on the other hand, can you imagine yourself as someone else other than warrior? Our powers... We have so much potential Lorcan, we can be legends! Aren’t you tired of living like this?” you pointed to your surroundings. “Besides, you have never shied away from fight or violence. Why are you so uncertain now?”

“I just wouldn’t want to loose you in a battle.” Lorcan walked over to you so you had to rise your head to look into his eyes. Fucking giraffe. “You’re the only person I like and I truly wouldn’t want to endure the shits of this life without you.”

“Aw... You’re cute. Big, scary Lorcan is getting soft” you laughed and one glance at Lorcan’s annoyed face made you laugh even harder.

“I changed my mind. Perish there.” He rolled his eyes but you could see sparkles of joy in them.

“Seriously, Lorcan. I promise we will fight side by side in every battle. And that from every war we go to together, we'll come back together, okay?” your hand traveled down to latch with his. The man only nodded and squeezed your hand. “Great! Now, let’s celebrate the new chapter in our life!” Grabbing one of the purses with golden coins you started pulling Lorcan towards the door. “We’re getting drunk tonight!” You squealed and your best friend chuckled behind you.

***

Just like you suspected, taking the Blood Oath and serving Maeve was one of the best choices in your life so far. The queen ordered to subject the two of you to the toughest training and soon no one could compare to your dexterity and cunning or to Lorcan’s strength and speed. Also you discovered new possibilities of your magic. Not only you could hide in your mist but also travel through it, see things very distant and even sometimes create illusions. It didn’t take long for you and Lorcan to become one of Maeve’s elite warriors alongside with Gavriel and Vaughan who also were above average.

The four of you won war after war, destroyed city after city and made the strongest kingdoms kneel before your queen. At the age of 100 you were already drowning in riches and glory, known all over the world as Spectrum, a phantom bringing death.

Lorcan fell madly in love with Maeve and like a good puppy fulfilled all of her orders what you did use to keep teasing him all the time. You only get out of it alive because Lorcan treated you as a sister. Quickly it turned out that war is his natural habitat and with his gift from Hellas himself, Lorcan Salvaterre became the most feared man on this planet. And the most grumpy at the same time...

“Hey, Mr. Grim Asshole! I’ve heard you had so shitty humor today that even Cairn prefers to avoid you so here I come to bless you with my glorious personality!” You crashed into Lorcan’s chambers in your silky night clothes and with two bottles of wine in hand.

“If I were you, I also would avoid me.” Your best friend was sitting on the couch with legs stretched out on a table, head thrown back and eyes closed. He didn’t even bother to look at you when you sat by his side, passing him one of the bottles.

“You know I like to risk my life” Lorcan cracked an eye open and took wine from you. On one breath he drank a third of its contents. You stared at him with pursed lips. “Yup, you really have shitty day.” You knew there’s no use in asking him what’s wrong, he’ll tell you if he wants to. Opening your bottle you made yourself more comfortable on the couch and drank in comforting silence.

It didn’t last long as the warrior finished his bottle within seconds and sighed deeply. And then happened something you would never expect. Lorcan laid down on the couch with his head in your lap.

He never was a person who liked physical contacts other than sex and surely he never showed affection towards anybody. Even with you he limited himself to “arm over shoulder” or when you haven’t seen each other for a long time he would shortly hug you but nothing more (and let’s pay attention to the fact that you were the person he was the most affectionate with). That’s why seeing Lorcan like this... so ejected... made your heart ache.

“I told Maeve about my feelings and offered her an affair” he said quietly and you only sighed. No more explanation was needed as you perfectly knew how it ended. Putting your bottle down, you started running your fingers through Lorcan’s black hair, trying to give him as much comfort possible without crossing his limits. “You’re not going to say anything?” he asked, opening his eyes and looking up at you.

“What do you want me to say...? You know I think romance is not worth all this effort.” Your nails delicately scratched the warrior’s scalp what he clearly enjoyed cause his eyes closed once again and his tensed muscles relaxed.

“Oh yeah? And what about this blonde dude you’ve been seeing lately?” Small smirk appeared on Lorcan’s lips what made you also smile.

“Turns out he’s awfully narcissistic. Plus he doesn’t satisfies me in bed.”

“From what I’ve heard, other women don’t complain about him. So hard to please you?”

“Well, it’s not my fault that I’m always horny child and kinky motherfucker!” At those words both of you erupted with loud laugh.

Lorcan still laid with his head nuzzled into your lap for a long time. Playing with his hair you wondered when was the last time he had experienced love and affection. Or maybe it was his first one? 

His breath was calm and steady, for a moment you thought he drifted away when he spoke quietly. “Thank you.”

“For what?” you asked, your eyes heavy as you studied his calm, handsome face. 

“For being there for me.”

“I will always be there for you. No matter what.”

***

“Y/N betrayed me. She betrayed us all.” Maeve spoke as she stormed into the meeting room. Her steps were fast and furious, black robes fluttered behind her, making Maeve look as if she was surrounded by shadows.

Lorcan stood still on his place, not quite understanding his queen’s words. You would never betray anybody, especially your Queen and country. Especially HIM! After all, he saw you at breakfast in the great hall yesterday smiling and laughing with other warriors like always. Besides, how did you betrayed Maeve? You’re bloodsworn to her, it’s impossible to even plot against her and even more so to deceive her. What did you do?!

“I don’t understand. What do you mean Y/N betrayed?” Rowan was the only one who spoke as everybody else were too surprised to do so. Lorcan suspected they can’t believe in their friend’s betrayal either.

“Several of my powerful and very valuable books had been stolen, Y/N’s treasury was emptied of a great amount of money, a lot of her things disappeared alongside with herself. I sent ten spies after her. All of them are dead.” Maeve’s knuckles turned white from gripping the edge of the table so hard. “She doesn’t react on commands I send her through the Blood Oath and because of her goddamn powers no one can track this little bitch down!” she finished with a furious scream, sending wall of darkness behind her causing all windows to shatter.

No one dared to say anything. Not even Gavriel, who always tried to smooth things over. The four warriors just sat there, hoping for it to be just a sick dream. They all loved and treated you like a sister. You were the only one Vaughan spared no words to. The only one that could make Gavriel chill out and laugh. Despite knowing Rowan for only half a century you two protected each other like siblings. And Lorcan... You were the only one he loved. His best friend, his sister, his carranam. The only woman he never looked at in a sexual way. The friend that had his back in every battle. The person he could always count on, no matter time, place or circumstances. You were his safe place. And now... you left him with nothing.

“What are we doing about her?” The silence was broken by Vaughan. Someone had to ask this question but no one wanted to hear the answer. If Maeve order them to track Y/N down and kill her...

“You do nothing.” Maeve dropped into a chair. “I will figure it out how to get to her but you stay out of this.” Wave of a hand meant the meeting is over. The four warriors turned to leave the room when their Queen spoke once more. “Y/N was one of the best. Better find me a worthy replacement for her.”

It took a long time for Lorcan to accept this information. And when he finally did, he went furious.

How could you do this to him?! How could you left him without a word, betray him?! After all those centuries together... Did it all really meant nothing to you? He showed you the part of his soul no one other had seen. He let you care for him and he really cared for you! And when he finally started to let you more and more into his heart, into the part he could never accept and always denied, you destroyed everything in one day. Lorcan wanted to hate you. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. He lost his only ray of light, so if he can’t hate you, he will hate everyone else.

Every single time he went to war, Lorcan turned to his right where you should have stand only to see Gavriel or Vaughan or Rowan. Balls hosted by Maeve weren’t the same without you, glowing in your dress and looking like a goddess. Long adventures felt boring when you wasn’t riding by his side. Every time he passed the couch in his chambers he saw your smiling face and felt your loving touch. Oh how perfectly he remembered that night. How much he wanted to stay in your embrace forever. The morning after when he woke up in the same position and saw you sleeping above him and realized he wouldn’t mind this view every morning for the rest of his life.

Nightmares woke him up at nights. Most often you were tortured, screaming for a dear life when your captors subjected you to such horrible tortures that even Lorcan had never heard of them. Sometimes you just sat or laid there, all destroyed and exhausted and he had to watch you slowly dying. Other nights the heartless warrior once more experienced all of his best memories with you, the ones where he was truly happy. He’d see you laughing and smiling... because of him, filling his heart with pleasant warmth but then you were ripped away from him and he was left clod and alone.

During those nights he would pull out of the deepest parts of his wardrobe your shirt which he stole from your chambers after your betrayal. With his nose buried into the material that slowly started to loose your scent Lorcan stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to chase away those awful dreams.

But if he only knew they were real...

***

Maeve was a Valg.

One time during searching for information about strange creatures that terrorized Doranelle’s mountains you came across chapter devoted to demons called Valgs. Being pretty curious person you started reading about them and soon you reached out for more books like this, getting fixed in more and more. 

Everyone always told you that you’re very clever girl. And they were right, of course. Connecting dots in your head, the conclusions came to your mind. Dark magic, life much longer than any other Fae’s, all those legends... Maeve was a Valg. Queen of Valgs even.

Knowledge is a weapon, that’s true but it can also be the end of a person. One look into your mind and she knew that you know. The moment a wall of darkness slammed into you, you were sure that you won’t see light ever again.

Sometimes you screamed when your bones were being broken, your skin ripped off, body burned and pierced or stretched. Sometimes you just accepted what they have done to you. There were nights when men that tortured you came to your cell but with other intentions. Maeve accepted it. Indeed, it was even she who offered it to them. “She wouldn’t want to refuse any pleasure to always horny child and kinky motherfucker” as she said.

She didn’t wanted to kill you. Your magic was too valuable to be wasted. You still served her as a spy but from the cell as your power allowed you to see things anywhere you wanted, no matter where you were. Maeve kept you here because it would be too risky to have you on freedom. Not cause you would reveal her secret, you were bloodsworn to her, you couldn’t even if you wanted to. But beacuse someone might pull it out of you against your will. Tortures were meant to weaken you and your mental health. Your magic was powerful and clever so if not them, you could have escaped. Maeve discovered this when one night you were so furious you almost broke the oath. Since then you wore iron spikes pierced through your hands to limit your power, folded and melted on both sides so no one could take them off.

Somedays Maeve visited you and told you stories of what your friends did and the wars they had won. Of course, she was telling you this while watching you being tortured but she never really minded (you could tell by the plates with snacks by her side).

And so the days passed. Then months. And years. Decades. Centuries. Or maybe just days...? At the begging you didn’t wanted to scream. Thanks to your training and experience you lasted very long without even the quietest grunt. But then you realized you’re never getting free. Nothing had a point anymore so you just broke, screaming at the top of your lungs. Praying to gods to send someone to get you out of here. To let Lorcan find you. Lorcan. Lorcan, Lorcan, Lorcan...

“Yesterday your mate brought three ladies to his bed, can you believe it? I have to admit they all were very pretty.” Maeve leaned back on golden-black couch and took a sip from her glass, enjoying the influence that this one unique word has on you.

The pool of your blood painted white marble floor dark red. The whole cell was made of dazzlingly bright stone. Crystal chandeliers hung from the high ceilings, casting light on the walls and making your eyes ache. The shrill scream echoed through the chamber again as another muscle in your thigh was suddenly severed, the sharp blade making its way to your bone and scratching it. You would probably vomit because of this feeling if you had anything in your stomach.

“What a shame you can’t experience the feeling of sleeping with Lorcan. The whole Doranelle agrees that he is a sex god.” The queen stood up and slowly walked toward the altar to which you were chained, avoiding the fresh blood on the floor. “But don’t worry my dear, I made sure to get you company for the evening.” Her pale hand caressed your wet cheek, making you flinch. Maeve smiled ominously at that and turned to the warrior torturing you. “Don’t forget about the other leg.” she motioned with her chin to your untouched yet left thigh. “And maybe I'll go whip Lorcan. In fact, I haven't done it for a long time...” Dreamed Maeve as if she was making a Yulemas gift list.

“No...Please, no.” you managed to choke out the three words between your sobs. It was quiet and hopeless, but your instinct screamed at you to do anything to protect Lorcan, even if it meant begging Maeve.

When she first told you that your childhood best friend is in fact your mate, you were sure the queen is just playing with you. You have always loved Lorcan but only like a brother and never more. But then one night Maeve brought to the chamber one of her magic mirrors; the one that allowed to see things happening somewhere else. In it you saw HIM, tied to the lashing pole, already shirtless and sweaty. And when the whip landed on his back, when the drops of his blood splashed the floor and low grunt of pain left his mouth, you had felt it. His pain, his emotions, his existence. A bridge began to form in your soul. The one that meant to connect your life with his. You started running over it. Run towards Lorcan, desiring at all costs to help him and free him from the pain to which the queen whom he so blindly loved had condemned to but... it stopped midway. You were standing in the middle of the chasm, staring at the black, cold shadows on the other side that had no idea you are there. You felt him. You knew. But he didn’t.

Since that moment, torturing Lorcan and making you watch became Maeve’s favorite entertainment. Every time you begged her to stop hurting him for your sake. To torture you more instead. You knew it won’t work anyway. She will whip him to make you suffer even more but mostly important - because she can. Because she is a heartless monster.

“Oh, come on! Little pain never killed anybody.” Maeve leaned over your face and her devilish smile got even wider. “Besides, Lorcan will bear everything I tell him to. You know why?” Her hot breath tickled your ear, making all your still not teared muscles tense in a defensive way. “Because your mate, loves me, not you.” She straightened herself and nodded at the black haired warrior that looked like Lorcan so so much. “Don’t worry, I will let you watch. See you soon my dear!” Maeve chirped and left the chamber that was your cell for the rest of eternity.

Another screams of pain left your mouth as the man moved to your left leg and started skinning it with sparkles of madness in his eyes.

***

“Okay, I was at Mistward today and Emrys had told me few interesting stories.” Fenrys walked into the training area with his usual smirk, making Lorcan and Connall roll their eyes. “Can someone tell me who the heck was Y/N and why I haven’t heard of her?”

At the name of his former friend Lorcan tensed. The name he tried to forget but never could.

“She was a two-faced bitch and you haven’t heard of her because you’re a moron” Lorcan snarled with anger and throw another dagger at the training dummy.

“You’re an asshole that’s a fact but you definitely have to work on your taunts because they suck.” White Wolf crossed his arms and smiled proudly to himself. “That rhymed, heh. But really, what happened? I’ve heard that this Y/N or Spectrum, as someone prefers, was a nice chick. Did she really killed off the whole castle with only one knife? I mean kill few people with a knife is nothing special but few hundreds is a fuc...” Fenrys felt silent as the dagger Lorcan had in his hand a second ago flew past his head.

With four big steps the dark warrior stood in front of the wolf, holding him by his neck. “Listen you little shit. Say one more word about her and you can say goodbye to your pretty face. Y/N was the best of the bests but turns out she also was a fake bitch. You’re here only because she betrayed our queen and she needed replacement but still you’ll always be her poor imitation so don’t you even dare to say her name.” Lorcan’s words were full of venom and hate that even the sly smirk disappeared from Fenrys’ face.

Lorcan let go of his neck and started walking towards the castle with anger strongly felt in his scent.

“Did he love her?” Asked Connall when Lorcan had disappeared from their sight.

“Bold of you to assume this fucker can feel emotions like this” Fenrys rolled his eyes and took his bow and arrows.

“Y/N and Lorcan grew up together on the streets of Doranelle. They had only each other.” Spoke Gavriel who were cleaning his swords. “She was the only person Lorcan cared about. He loved her that’s for sure but he loved her much more than he wanted to admit.”

“By the pain in his eyes I would say he still does.” Fenrys sighed and shoot the first arrow.

***

Maeve was dead. The White Wolf killed her himself. Not without a reason of course. Turns out the queen Lorcan served for almost five hundreds years was a monster from the other world. Rumors spread quickly so it had only taken two days for the whole Doranelle to turn against her. So... She’s dead. And Lorcan had no idea what to do with this fact.

Sellene Whitethorn took the throne few days later. She was cunning, strong, smart and devoted. Most definitely she will be a good queen. That’s why Lorcan didn’t hesitated much before swearing her the Blood Oath. After all he was swearing to protect his country, his home.

Days and weeks passed, various changes came into force as the whole court helped cleaning up Maeve’s mess she had left behind. Together with the rest of his cadre, Lorcan sat in the meeting room discussing new setting of the guards in the palace and the city with his new queen when two warriors came in.

“Your Majesty.” Said one bowing in front of white-haired female. Behind him the other man held one of Maeve’s old spies. “I think you would like to see this.” Sellene stood up slowly with uncertainty but curiosity in her green eyes and motioned the man to lead.

They all went deeper and deeper into the dungeons, until finally Lorcan realized that he had no idea that such a places in the castle existed. They passed corner after corner, constantly delving deeper into dark corridors until they stood in front of big iron doors. Lorcan’s magic stepped back as he pushed them open. Behind them he saw a short corridor with two iron gates on the right and two on the left.

“What the hell is this place?” Fenrys asked in wonder as he scanned the high ceiling.

“A private prison where Maeve kept people she hadn’t even told us about.” Answered the lion. His hands wandered on the iron door surface before pushing them open.

“Three of them are empty” said one of the two warriors that discovered this place. “But the second on the left... Sealed for good. We have no idea how to open them.”

Lorcan walked towards said door. There was no lock or handle, just flat iron. His magic hid even deeper whispering to its owner to step back but something was telling Lorcan to open those doors. That inside is something important.

The dark warrior closed his eyes and focused, thinking of all the ways he could get inside. Maybe it was Hellas, maybe other god or maybe something else but in front of his eyes he saw a mark. His hand absentmindedly took the knife he had strapped to his thigh and cut his palm. Lorcan felt everyone’s eyes on himself as he soaked his finger in blood and started drawing the mark on door.

When he finished, the mark started glowing and the sound of the doors unlocking could be heard. Behind him as always stood Gavriel and Rowan with swords ready. Lorcan also took his sword in hand but dropped it as soon as he pushed the door open.

A huge hall made entirely of marble could have been beautiful if not the blood covering half of the floor and walls or multiple torture machines and instruments all over the room. Wait a moment... This blood. This smell.

Lorcan’s eyes landed on curled up figure chained to the wall. His heartbeat stopped when he saw the state she’s in. Skin and bones, there was no fat nor meat or muscles on her. She was left naked in this cold, stone cell, her skin having very unhealthy color. And all those wounds...

“Y/N...” It was a cry of relief and fear. Lorcan ran to your side within seconds, sounds of dropped swords and footsteps meant that his friends did the same.

He wanted to touch you, to scoop you into his arms and never let go. He wanted to protect you with his whole existence from everything and everybody. But as soon as his fingertips met your skin you kicked and flinched, fear immediately appearing in your scent. Little whimper of pain left your dried throat as even the slightest move caused you an unbelievable pain.

“Y/N/N, hey. It’s me, Lorcan. Hey, you know I would never hurt you” he whispered when you started to shake. Lorcan had no idea if it’s because of cold or fear but the sight broke his heart. Not once you two were tortured, not once other kingdoms wanted to get information out of you and held you both for weeks. Every single time you laughed at their faces when your body was being destroyed, not even a quiet grunt leaving your mouth while Lorcan and other warriors roared from pain. And now...

What the hell did they do to you...?

Your stomach was ripped, from left leg bits of bone were sticking out, several spikes were stuck in your right thigh, both hands pierced and wrists broken. Every wound was already infected.

“Get healers and blankets, immediately!” Lorcan shout not even bothering to look behind. Quickly he broke the chains that pinned you to the wall and took off his jacked, wrapping it around your shoulders and bringing you to his chest.

“No! No, no, no, please, no!” You started screaming when his hands touched you, kicking, wriggling, doing anything to break free from yours captor’s grip.

“Shhh, It’s me, just me. I won’t hurt you, Y/N, I promise on everything on this fucking planet I would never hurt you.” Lorcan’s voice and soft kisses placed on your forehead made you calm down a little as you sobbed into his shirt, still shaking from fear. One look down and he knew that the dried blood between your thighs weren’t from your period. It’s not the torture that broke you. Tears started escaping from Lorcan’s eyes as well when he hold you onto dear life, listening to your weak heartbeat and shallow breath.

And then he felt you. Saw you at the edge of the bridge that stopped midway over the big chasm. You were sitting with your head hidden between your knees, naked and wounded... The bond - the bridge was brittle and unstable, ready to collapse any moment and send you straight into the darkness. Without any thinking Lorcan sent every drop of his magic to you, building his part of the bridge, running towards you faster than ever. The shadows from his side of the chasm and mist from your side started flowing towards each other, mixing and blending, surrounding the two of you as Lorcan’s soul held yours, guarding you from the fall.

The Lion of Doranelle keeled beside his friends, his hands already glowing with white light. At first Lorcan growled, his instinct taking control over him. He was ready to kill anyone that came near you. But then he realized Gavriel is the only person he would trust fully to take care of you so he let him touch you. Again you started wriggling and screaming when Gavriel’s hands landed on your body but Lorcan was there to comfort you.

Soon few other healers ran into the room and started taking care of your most serious wounds so you could be transported to the castle without making anymore damage to your health. After a while you blacked out but your breath and heartbeat were steady and that’s the only thing Lorcan cared about.

When he carried you wrapped in three blankets up to his chambers he once more looked at your cell.

147 years. She was tortured for 147 years.

***

Everything ached. Every single inch of your body burned as you tried to open your eyes. The room was dark, only few candles lightened the walls. Heavy duvets and furs covered your chilled body from toes to chin, finally warming you up after years in cold cell.

Breathing in the scent you recognized immediately in who’s chambers you’re laying, after all you spent here so many nights compiling war strategies or complaining about your day and people that piss you off, sometimes laughing and joking with bottle of vine in hand and few times even babysitting Lorcan after he got way too drunk after won war. This place gave you so many amazing memories and now, after decades under lock and key and millions of hopeless nights you were here again. Everything were just like you remembered it.

Tears filled your eyes as you couldn’t believe it’s real. It was probably another of Maeve’s illusions yet it felt so real... so comforting and warm. No. She was doing it on purpose. In few moments you’re going to wake up in your cell and again get tortured the whole day, having in your mind the image of comfort you’d never feel again.

You squeezed your eyes shut and let tears wet your cheeks, preparing yourself for brutal reality to hit you when hoarse voice called your name; voice you could listen to for eternity. Turning your head you met beautiful black eyes in which danced reflections of the little flames from candles, making them look hypnotizing. Your lower lip quivered and more salty droplets of water fell on the pillow when you realized it’s not a dream. Broad hand moved to your cheek to wipe the tears but backed when you flinched under it’s touch, your breath become quicker and you felt a wave of fear creeping on you.

“It’s okay” the voice usually rough and serious was now soft and calming. “No one will hurt you, you’re safe now.” To confirm the words you felt little impulse through the matting bond.

“No” you whispered, your voice was dry and quiet. Shaking your head you repeated “no.” You wanted to wake up. Before you could believe it’s real, before it starts hurting too much. “You’re not real. It’s a dream.” Hopeless sobs left your mouth as you started fully crying. “It’s just an illusion.”

“Y/N look at me” Lorcan cupped your face, this time not letting go when you flinched but stroking his thumbs over your cheeks until you calmed down. Doing as he asked you aimed your eyes at his handsome face that you dreamed of almost every time. He had more scars, pale line crossed his left eyebrow leaving small cut what you found sexy, he also had dark circles under his eyes and in his dark orbs you noticed worry. “I’m here” he whispered. “I am with you and I won’t let anybody ever change this, I promise.”

“Lorcan.” You pulled lightly at the matting bond and chocked out a small laugh when he pulled back. Suddenly you realized it’s real. This time tears of happiness and relief fell from your eyes and you nuzzled your face into Lorcan’s hand. You best friend, your brother, your carranam, your mate. “You found me.”

Tears rolled down on both your faces as you stared into each others eyes. “I love you.” It was a whisper so quiet not even gods could hear it. “I have always loved you, Y/N. Even if I never wanted to acknowledge this fact, it was always you.” Lorcan’s words made your heart stop for a moment. “I don’t deserve you. I will never deserve you. Not after hating you for all those years while you were tortured right under my nose. But I promise you, I promise on everything on this planet, I will always protect you. No matter if you accept me as your mate or not, I will guard you from any harm with my life. Nothing will ever hurt you again.”

You tried to move your hand slowly under the covers towards your mate. Little whine left your mouth when you tried to raise it. Lorcan understood what you wanted to do and connected his other hand with your little palm, bringing it to his lips he placed several little kisses on its top. His lips against your skin were warm and enjoyable, the action made you feel safe. During the decades in cell you learned to hate men’s lips and hands on your body but when Lorcan touched you you found out how starved of a loving touch you were.

“Only the thought that maybe one day I’ll be able to see you again kept me sane down there” swallowing hard you slowly moved your hand from his lips to his cheek. By the way you noticed that where iron spikes were once embedded, now only pale scars remain. “I won’t make it without you...” you whispered at what Lorcan smiled gently.

“Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you. Ever.” Soft lips placed kiss on your forehead. Then one at the tip of your nose. Lorcan pulled away slightly to look deep into your eyes, asking you for permission. You smiled weakly but it was a happy smile. Your mate leaned down and connected his lips with yours, filling you with pleasant warmth. It was short and light but when he pulled away big smile lightened his face what made him appear younger and less scary. Another sight reserved only for you.

It was obvious you will flinch at even the slightest touch for a long time yet. Trauma doesn’t go away in one day and what happened in the dungeons will be reflected in your psyche forever but… Lorcan brought you comfort and calmness, feeling of safety. Maybe one day you’ll be able to function normally again.

You wanted to sit up but when when you tensed your weak muscles unbelievable pain shoot through your body making you whine. Lorcan immediately went on protective mode.

“Don’t move”  he laid you down and stroked your hair trying to comfort you.

“Almost all of your muscles and sinews were ripped, most of your bones were broken. Healers patched you up as much as they could but still there’s a lot of recovery before you.” The only answer from you was a low grunt. “I’ll go get healers. And something to eat, you must be starving. I can order to make you whatever you feel like. What would you want? Hot chocolate? I’ll get you hot chocolate, you always loved it.” Lorcan moved to stand up and leave but you grabbed his hand pulled slightly.

“Don’t go.” The quiet please was almost shy as if you weren’t sure if he wants to stay.

“I’ll be right ba-”

“Don’t go.”

Lorcan smiled softly at your flushed and scared at once face. “Okay.” He sat down on the chair standing next to the bed but you pulled his hand once again. He shot you questioning look but you only repeated your action.

Carefully as not to scare you Lorcan sat on the bed and lied down next to you. When he made sure you’re okay with his moves he dropped his one arm around you and delicately brought you closer to him. Still laying on your back you shifted your weight on the right side, groaning quietly but relaxing when pain stopped after few seconds. Nuzzling your head closer to your mate you closed your eyes but then you remembered one more thing.

Gray-white mist appeared on the bedroom floor and started climbing on Lorcan’s bed, dancing around the two of you and covering you like a blanked. Your mate smiled down at you and seconds later black wind and shadows joined your mist and started to mix with it as if Lorcan’s magic missed yours.

Finally after one and a half century of tortures you felt comfort, your mate’s embrace and two ancient powers dancing with each other made your eyes close. Your mist settled on you ready to hide the two of you from the world. Lorcan’s deadly wind floated around the room ready to aim and rip life out of anyone that could endanger his precious mate.

Your breath got steady and rhythmic, body relaxed and melted into warm furs and features softened. Lorcan laid by your side for almost an hour after you fell asleep, admiring your little snores that were probably caused by your nose being broken. He tried to find a strength to move from the bed and go order you food so you could eat when you wake up but the fact that you were with him again, nay, now you were his, made him stay, too afraid you’d disappear if he left you. So he laid there, stroking your hair and imagining the future you two could create. Together. As mates.

[talkfantasytome]

Hi!! I love your writing ❤️

I was wondering if you’d be willing to write a Lysaedion fic?

Prompts:

“I’ve never been… not alone”

“I wish we didn’t have to keep this a secret”

Thank you so much!

Okay, this was tricky for me! I haven't really written them yet. I love them, I cannot express to you the emotions I was dealing with because of them throughout QoS, EoS, and KoA. My friends had to deal with a loooooot of commentary from me, and a steady fear Aedion wouldn't make it through the books. (Like, seriously, he fucking told her he was going to marry her - stated it out right - what was I supposed to think? The author would actually let that happen?!)

Anyway, that being said, sometimes I just feel like we didn't get enough of them for me to feel like I can really portray them right together. It's probably just an excuse to avoid writing them, out of fear, but yeah. Hurdle I had to jump.

Other hurdle: I mayyyyy have read that first prompt wrong. And then mayyyyy have had to delete about 400 words and start over again because of it. 😂

But I did it!

TW: Brief mention of an unhealthy, emotionally abusive/controlling parental-ish relationship.

Word Count: 717 | Read on AO3 | ToG Masterlist

Other warning: The order is fluff then angst, right? 👀

The couple collapsed on the bed, panting heavily, their bodies glistening as they lay on their backs.

Aedion's lips were curved upward in a tiny smile, as they had been since the first kiss that night. He turned his head to look at her, taking in every line of her profile.

She was staring up at the ceiling, her pink lips parted slightly, her eyes wide. Her cheeks were flushed against her porcelain skin and her dark brown hair was ruffled and spread out against the pillow.

Lysandra was breathtaking, as always. Even more beautiful now, after a year of flirting and suggestive conversations. A year of him telling her he loved her every way he could, except with words. A year of him waiting until she was finally ready to give him a chance.

He never thought he'd see anything more exquisite than seeing Lysandra for the first time.

It wasn't the first time Aedion was wrong. It wouldn't be the last.

She looked over at him, her bright green eyes meeting his, full of wonder and awe. He reached his arm over the bed, sliding it beneath her back and pulling her tight to him.

Lysandra's brow furrowed slightly. "Are you staying?"

The question cut through the haze of pleasure he'd been wrapped in, chilling his very bones.

"I-I," he started, stuttering slightly. "I was going to…unless you don't want me to?"

"No!" she practically shrieked, suddenly pushing herself completely against his body. "I…I do…" She wrapped an arm around his waist, nestling her head into the crook of his shoulder, but Aedion could sense something was wrong.

Especially when he suddenly felt a wetness against his skin where Lysandra lay.

"Hey," he said softly, brushing his fingers against her back in gentle circles. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she muttered into his chest.

Bringing his other hand up, he cupped her chin and lifted her face to look at him. "Talk to me."

It wasn't the first time she'd clamed up around him. It had taken a lot to get her to be comfortable enough to really let him see her, as if she thought doing so would scare him away.

Turns out Lysandra could be wrong too, at times. Everything he learned only ever made him love her more.

"It's just," she started slowly, fumbling a bit as she spoke. "I've never been…not alone. Even when I was with others, I felt alone. But, with you…" She trailed off, the unspoken words warming his heart as much as the spoken ones had broken it.

Aedion turned himself slightly, wrapping his other arm around her and holding her as close as he could. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, her contented sigh a caress of joy he'd never felt before.

"I'm here, Lys," he whispered into her hair, cherishing ever point where their skin made contact. "I'll always be here for you."

They continued to lay there, Lysandra's breathing slowly becoming more even, her body relaxing in his arms. She was asleep within minutes, but Aedion remained awake, unable to will himself into unconsciousness. Unwilling to lose out on a moment of holding her.

Because too soon it would be over. Too soon she would have to go back to her place, where he would be. The foster father who had managed to take control of her life well past her eighteenth birthday. Acting the husband of a woman who wanted nothing to do with him, but couldn't go anywhere. Not until she found a way to take back control of her money, and then prove to the state she was capable to care for her sister.

In the morning she'd leave. Early enough to ensure she got back to the house before he woke, but far too early for Aedion's liking. So Aedion held her tight, basking in the moment, getting lost in fantasies of a world where this could be his every night.

And as he finally started to drift off to sleep, just before his dreams overtook him, he breathed a truth he'd never share. Not out of fear of rejection, but to avoid putting extra pressure on the girl who was constantly being weighed down by the world.

"I wish we didn't have to keep this a secret."

[bookofmirth]

Honestly, I just don't like how sjm writes. And I've been grappling with that for a while now. She's mentioned before that she kinda flies by the seat of her pants when she writes which is fine, I do the same thing. But there's a distinct lack of her plots feeling natural. Like you mentioned in another anon, it's not organic.

For me it feels like she doesn't pay attention to the repercussions of what she's already written. There needs to come a point for any writer really, to keep plot and magic and world set and firm with defined rules. Exploring different ideas is great, but they don't always have to be shoved into a project right then and there. Let them devlop on the side and take their time until more concrete rules and ideas can be defined. Not everything has to be tossed out into canon. And again, this isn't necessarily sjm specific, but she's been on my brain recently. There's more to the craft of writing than just being creative.

I think that fandom makes us over-examine some of this stuff in ways that we wouldn't ordinarily, and so her flaws become more glaring. But overall yeah, sometimes people act like she's a genius and I just don't!!!! She isn't!!! She's good at getting us emotionally involved. She's a mess with magic systems and can do world-building when she feels like it. She's great at writing moving, action-packed climaxes. Sometimes she's good at reveals, though sometimes they feel like something she decided after the fact (e.g. Truthteller and Gwydion). She definitely has strengths, which got us here to the fandom, but then upon examination some of it is like... wait... what??

Exploring different ideas is great, but they don't always have to be shoved into a project right then and there.

Can someone send this to her?? In that spoiler video she released last month, she said something about wanting to do the crossover, and then wondering if she could. Maybe the question she should have been asking is if she should.

It's frustrating as readers when it seems like she has certain things that have been planned all along, like "nameless is my price", but then she does this stuff with the crossover since she was writing KoA/HOEAB, which then had repercussions for acosf. And that would be fine if it were just quick lil character cameos in each, but now people are pissed - it has died down a little bit but they are - because the thing we thought we were reading, several books in, is not the thing we thought we were reading. And because those repercussions made the plot of acosf into a holy ass mess.

There's more to the craft of writing than just being creative.

Yeah. She has good ideas, it just seems like she doesn't necessarily stick to them, and yes I understand that the characters and the story get revealed to you along the way - but that's what revision and planning is for. We shouldn't be watching her change her mind in the middle of a series that is half complete.

At this point some of her books are comfort books for me - acomaf and HoF mainly - but I can't help noticing all of the flaws too. It's partly a product of being here and thinking about it so much, it's inevitable that we will find those flaws, but also, think about what you are doing, Sarah! Yeah these are fun books, but we aren't just along for the ride, not completely. We want things to make sense, too.

[sassyhobbits]

Part 2 for the living is so much harder than dying/ Aelin going back to doranelle fic pleeaase? I have some ideas! In KOA Rowan mentioned wanting to take Aelin to where he lived with Lyria and said it was close to Doranelle so they could do that. Or they could go to one of the Whitethorn private properties and she could get to know his family better. Or they could visit Mistward again on their way back! Idk anything you do will be perfect! Thank you!

i loved this idea so so much!! so, here you go!! get ready to feel some feelings. i absolutely adored getting to explore and write this idea. enjoy!!

pt 1

~~~

The mountains of Doranelle were a beast.

Although Aelin had grown up surrounded by the Staghorns, hiking up the peaks that surrounded the city her husband had been born in was still an arduous journey. Her thighs ached and her lungs burned from the thin air as they climbed higher and higher in the gray sky.

Normally, the young queen would have complained by now, but in her heart, she knew better, even though Rowan had yet to explicitly say where he was taking her.

Her husband had woken her before dawn that morning, telling her to get dressed. Immediately, Aelin knew something was on his mind. His face had been solemn, lips pressed tight, something pained in his eyes.

So, Aelin had climbed out of the massive bed and dressed in a tunic and a supple bair of worn boots, braiding her hair back tightly. They had slipped silently out of Sellene’s palace as the sun rose, running through the forests once they had gotten out of the city.

When they had come to Doranelle on Sellene’s invitation, Aelin hadn’t planned on a grueling climb up the steep mountains.

Often, Aelin was able to read Rowan’s thoughts as if they had been written on his forehead but today… he had withdrawn deep within himself. She knew better than to pry, though she wanted to know what was going through his mind, why he needed her to hike up the rocky path with him when it would have been much easier for him to shift and fly.

They had been trudging up the mountain silently for a little less than an hour when Rowan paused, kneeling down near the edge of the path where a cluster of wildflowers grew. He picked a few, and continued to pluck any more he happened to find on their journey.

It was then that Aelin began to realize where Rowan was taking her.

Flowers, the mountains… her heart twisted deep within her chest.

When Rowan wasn’t looking, she snatched up a few weather-smooth stones she found, slipping them into the pockets of her trousers.

Soon enough, they crested onto a grassy bluff, situated within a crescent of the mountains. It gave a spectacular view of the forest below, Doranelle a tiny, little speck on the horizon. It was here that Rowan stopped.

Aelin gazed around her, unsure of what she was searching for. She slowly stepped forward, the tall grasses swaying around her in the sharp mountain winds. At first glance, there was nothing there. Barren. Gray. Cold. But then, the toe of her boot caught on what felt like a large stone. Aelin looked down through the grasses and slowly recognized that she was on the edge of what looked like the foundation for a cottage. A little ways away, there was a crumbling fireplace that had nearly been finished off by time. Aelin stepped up into the foundation, imagining walls, a kitchen, a cozy bedroom, and what might have become a nursery if the cottage still stood.

A tear trailed down her cheek.

This had been Rowan’s home with Lyria before he had lost her.

Aelin looked over her shoulder, finding that her husband was now kneeling near the edge of the bluff, head hung low. As she grew closer, she noted the headstone situated before him, the letters carved so painstakingly in the Old Language. Even though Aelin didn’t speak it, she knew what it said.

Silently, Aelin lowered herself to her knees beside him, noting that he had placed the bundle of wildflowers he had collected at the base of the headstone.

For a few moments, nothing was said, only the howling wind to fill the air.

“This was our home,” Rowan rasped at length, the first he had spoken since he had woken her up this morning. “We picked out this spot together, I built the cottage on my own while Lyria set up her garden and…” His voice wavered, fingers clenching into tight fists. “We had a few years of peace here, but not enough. Nowhere near enough…”

The tattoo that ran down Rowan’s face seemed to suck up what light managed to get through the heavy clouds.

Aelin wished she had words that would make everything better, but she knew those didn’t exist. Still, it hurt her to see her mate filled with such sorrow.

And so, Aelin simply took Rowan’s hand and held it tightly, offering what comfort she could. She listened as he began to speak softly in the Old Language, knowing he was telling Lyria about all that had happened since the last time he had visited her grave, just as she did every time she went to Sam’s.

She didn’t know how much time passed, falling into the lull of her husband’s soothing voice, resting her head on his shoulder. Eventually, his story came to an end and he bowed low, pressing his forehead into the ground before the headstone and murmuring a prayer, one that Aelin recognized. The royal family of Terrasen had always passed down prayers and laments in the Old Language.

Rowan sat up, his eyes clearer than they had been, face less tight. Although there was still some sadness in his gaze, it wasn’t as consuming as it was that morning.

Aelin placed a hand on Rowan’s shoulder, inclining her head towards the headstone. “Do you mind if I have a moment?”

He gave a soft smile and nodded, pressing a quick kiss to her temple before pushing to his feet and giving her some space.

Aelin took a moment, sucking down a deep breath before reaching into her pocket and pulling out two stones: one for Lyria, and one for the babe. She placed them gently on the top of the headstone.

“Hello, Lyria,” Aelin began softly. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

She swallowed hard, nervous for some reason.

“I know you prefer flowers, but that’s not what we do where I’m from, so I hope you don’t mind the stones,” she continued. “I- I’m not sure how much you know about me, but my name is Aelin. I’m Rowan’s wife… and his mate.

“He’s told me so much about you, I feel like I know you already,” Aelin said with a tiny laugh. “I wish I had gotten to meet you. I think we would have been good friends.”

Aelin shifted her weight slightly, wetting her lips.

“Maeve tried to convince me that what you shared with Rowan was nothing more than bits of her magic pulling at your strings, but I know that’s not true.” Aelin shook her head. “No. Rowan loved you so much. Hell, he still does. I don’t think he’ll ever stop. He still smiles when he talks about you, still regrets that he didn’t have more time with you in his life.

“So… I suppose I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for loving him, and for making him happy. Thank you for the role you played into making him the male he is today, the male I love with every ounce of my soul.” Aelin felt her eyes begin to burn with tears once more, and didn’t bother to try and stop them as they welled and blurred her vision. “I’m sorry you had to suffer for a role in a game you were forced into. I’m sorry you couldn’t get your happy ending.”

She wiped at her eyes, trying to banish the lump in her throat. She sniffed before holding out her hand and conjuring a rose made of flame, burning bright against the gray sky. She placed it down beside Rowan’s flowers, knowing her magic wouldn’t burn them. The flames wouldn’t last forever, but it was the best gift she could think of giving. A bit of Aelin, a bit of Lyria.

The young queen reached out, placing her fingers against Lyria’s name carved into the stone. “One day, we’ll meet properly. We’ll have a grand time together in the Afterworld.” Aelin pulled back with a little smile. “Until then… goodbye, Lyria.”

Aelin bowed her head, quickly murmuring another prayer, before pushing to her feet. She turned to the side, finding Rowan had not wandered far, and he was looking at her with tears running down his face. He had listened to every word she had uttered to Lyria.

Rowan grinned through the tears, closing the distance between them and wrapping her up tightly in his arms. Aelin more than happily returned it, burying her face in his chest and breathing in his pine and snow scent.

For a while, they didn’t say anything, simply holding one another and strengthening their hearts.

“I know Lyria would have loved you,” Rowan whispered into her hair.

“I’m very likeable.”

Rowan’s chuckle rumbled in his chest, pulling back far enough to look Aelin in the eyes. His hand rested on the curve of her cheek before he kissed her softly. “I love you, Fireheart. So much.”

Aelin kissed him again. “I love you too, Ro.”

He wrapped her back up in his arms, content to stay in the quiet, to think and reminisce, for a bit longer at least. They stood together, looking out over the wilds of Doranelle. Rowan whispered stories about the time he spent there with Lyria, Aelin hanging on to every word he said.

They lingered on the mountainside until the sun began its slow descent.

[royai]

a/n: just a little something written for the @noragamibigbang. it’s been very, very hard to write lately, and every word feels like trying to dig up roots with a toothpick, but i made it happen. it helps that yukine is such an important character to me.

i wanted to write a little bit about watching neglect happen from the outside looking in, and the small ways people can help.

massive shoutout and thanks to my partner, @yatosaurus, for the inspiration! check out their beautiful art HERE.

The bus was running late, early morning moisture gathering in the cracked asphalt. Koa waited with headphones in. Listening to the soundtrack of his boyfriend’s favorite anime, swaying, trying to ignore the way the humidity sat on the outskirts of his hairline. A single bead of sweat tracked its way down his temple, he turned to rub it off with his shoulder, and there, in his peripheral, was a boy. 

He sat on a bench beneath an awning, the ends of his slacks brushing the ground. They were partially rolled up over his shoes, but the left side was coming undone, unfurling in a lazy lump against his ankle. Koa turned his music down. The boy flicked a finger over his bus pass. It sounded like cards clapping against bike spokes, or rain ticking away against windows. The familiarity of it was so startling, Koa had to turn away. 

“They moved him to our class,” one girl said as she leaned into the shoulder of another. Her tone was accusatory. At first Koa couldn’t understand, and then she said: “His father yelled at Mr. Nakimora.”

“Class 2-B’s homeroom teacher?”

The girl nodded. Her eyes had not lifted from her phone screen, absent scrolling through Twitter. “His desk is splintered along the edge now. It’s not clear what happened, but it wasn’t there before parent teacher conferences and it’s there now.”

This was the first time Koa saw Haru.

.

The second time, he heard Haru’s name from the mouth of a man.

“Haru,” he said, the word all wrong, knotted up. “I’m tired of waiting.” A thin man with a watermelon belly put his spindly fingers around the back of Haru’s neck. Koa thought, This isn’t normal, he is pressing hard, Haru is wincing, but he did not say anything — for fear of calling attention to the beast or for fear of that grip going tighter, tighter, tighter. He didn’t know. 

The left side of Haru’s slacks was still dragging over the ground. 

Koa moved, an instinct, but the man’s lips were pulled back in a silent snarl. Unsafe, like tying yourself to train tracks, or leaping off a bridge. An old, ancient voice in Koa’s ears, his head, urging: Leave it. Leave it.

The steps to the front of the school stretch on, so far, as Haru is led away one foot at a time. The thin man threw ingenuine smiles at passersby, people too afraid to say something, or, like Koa, people who read the red flags. Self-preservation is a bitch.

“You okay, Koa?” A hand on Koa’s back, his boyfriend. 

“Yeah.”

.

There was a place beyond the hills and into the mountains. Light sprayed through the trees there, shattering over the ground in violent shapes, like broken glass. It was a place which made people feel sure. Because it was so terribly authentic, overlooking the city, watching; the towering pines bending inward. They whispered that this place was solace, but Koa could feel the stratagem. Each pine was an anglerfish, an adder. 

Koa never wondered about the refrigerator. 

.

The third time Koa saw Haru was on a bridge. Sunset weaving through meandering clouds, and Haru’s eyes with dark hammocks beneath. He leaned halfway over the railing, wind rippling his short, blonde hair. He was neither a boy or not a boy. An ambiguity or, more likely, an other. People never were good at confronting the other. 

Koa removed his headphones. The sounds of a pop album drifted downward into the pocket of his slacks. The melody played, muffled, through the cotton, and Haru looked at him.

“Hey,” Koa said. A guitar riffed through his pocket.

“Hi,” said Haru. He smiled, though it was small, and did not fill his face. “You’re Suzuki-san, right?

“Mhm.”

“I’m Haru.”

Haru’s jacket was too big for him, yet his back still spined through the fabric like stubby dorsals. 

Electric piano on the other side of a pocket, breezing through Koa’s head.

Koa twisted, reached into his school bag, and pulled a steamed pork bun from its smallest compartment. Leftovers from lunch. It didn’t matter. That ancient voice came back again, only this time: Help.

Haru took it in careful hands. Blue bled to orange behind him. 

An ending, or something.

“Thank you.”

.

Koa never saw Haru again.

[rufousnmacska]

Manorian Fanfic Master List

THANK YOU for reading!💙💛

All of my writing can be found on ao3 too.

Only You - from an anon request, Dorian is forced into an arranged marriage to save his kingdom while Manon garners interest from a surprising source.

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

___________

Goodbye and Hello - Manon and Dorian say goodbye in Orynth. But for them, saying hello again is only a matter of time.

Part One: I Wish…

Part Two: Another Day

Part Three: Those Two Words

Part Four: Breakfast in Bed

Part Five: Waiting

Part Six: Confessions (nsfw)

Part Seven: Old Friends

Part Eight: Light in the Darkness

Part Nine: Not Even Close

___________

A Bard’s Tale - a manorian renaissance faire AU

___________

The Raven and the Queen - the result of two fic requests: one for Dorian saving Manon from the Matron, and one for Dorian defeating Erawan/Maeve at the end of KoA

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

___________

Museum Day - Completed modern manorian AU from an anon request

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

___________

Post KoA one shots

The Gift a very short scene between Manon and Evangeline towards the end of KoA

Witch Blade  (set after KoA)

Still Here (set towards the end of KoA)

Lending Policy (set after KoA)

Healing Touch (set after the final battle in KoA)

___________

KoA and post-KoA headcanons and short fic requests - (“Manorian Shorts” on ao3)

Manorian first meeting after war

manorian wedding

modern halloween au

Manon-Rowan brotp

Manon learns about Erawan

manorian post battle

Dorian sacrifices himself

Manon meets Dorian’s family

Dorian in the final battle

Manorian witchling head canons (she is always named Rhiannon with a couple of exceptions):

Manorian finds out Rhia is in love

Rhia sees the Thirteen’s monument

Manorian parenting

Rhia learns about the spider silk

she’s given the Crochan crown

Manon pregnancy with twins

Rhia’s first heartbreak

___________

Child of Peace - Completed multi-chapter story set after Empire of Storms (all chapters written before Kingdom of Ash)

Part 1 - Good

Part 2 - Control (nsfw)

Part 3 - Hope

Part 4 - Smile

Part 5 - Stone

Part 6 - Magic (nsfw)

Part 7 - Knowing

Part 8 - Remember

Part 9 - Dessert (nsfw)

Part 10 - Worth

Part 11 - Unmade

Part 12 - Promise

Part 13 - Chosen (nsfw)

Part 14 - Distraction

Part 15 - Sacrifice

Part 16 - Interlude (nsfw)

Part 17 - Unmasked

Part 18 - History (includes a brief summary of the story so far)

Part 19 - Go

Part 20 - Surrender

Part 21 - Endure

Part 22 - Grateful

Part 23 - Allies

Part 24 - Remade

Epilogue 1 - Chaol

Epilogue 2 - Nesryn

Rekindled 1 - a Child of Peace story (Asterin returns!)

Rekindled 2 - a Child of Peace story

Rekindled 3 - a Child of Peace story

Rekindled 4 - a Child of Peace story

Rekindled 5 - a Child of Peace story

Epilogue 3 - Home

Epilogue 4 - Nerves (nsfw)

Epilogue 5 - Legacy(final chapter)

___________

Manorian drabbles - (”Not Even Close” on ao3) These are short, unconnected stories. I’d call them variations on a theme. The theme being Manon and Dorian figuring some of their shit out in those first weeks of traveling together after EoS. Fair warning - I’m slightly obsessed with things like sleeping arrangements. And one letting something slip that reveals how much they like the other. And them fighting their attraction… and failing badly. (written before Kingdom of Ash)

one - Sleeping Arrangements  (nsfw)

two - Excuses

three - Home

four - Tell Me

five - Proof (nsfw)

six - Happiness

seven - Touch

eight- First Kiss

nine - Sword Play

ten - First Flight

eleven- Dance Lessons

twelve - The Wyvern

thirteen - Challenge (a little nsfw)

fourteen - The King (modern au, nsfw)

fifteen - Time

___________

Modern Manorian AU - (”Meet Cute” on ao3) a modern AU based off this post

one

two

three (nsfw)

___________

All Dressed Up - A fluffy, post-EoS manorian mini-fic where Manon and Dorian finally find the Crochans. They also find themselves in over their heads. In more ways than one.

one

two

three (nsfw)