#wrote this yesterday while half asleep and wanted to write more but can't remember for the life of me what else I was supposed to write

[villainousauthor]

"You killed them." It wasn't a question. Hero tries to keep their voice steady.

Villain doesn't try to deny it. "I did. Does that upset you?" They step closer.

Hero's limbs shake, but they hope it isn't obvious. "Why? You don't go after other villains or criminals."

"I do when they get in my way. When they upset me. That little nuisance was getting too attached to you." They take one, two, three steps forward. "You're my nemesis, no one else's."

Hero feels themselves being backed against the wall, Villain's encroaching form intimidating.

"Murder is the solution to your jealousy?" Hero says, looking up and meeting Villain's fire filled eyes.

Villain purses their lips, furrows their brows. "Are you upset?" They ask, as if they don't like the idea of Hero being upset over the death of someone they consider competition.

"I don't like murder, as a general rule, you know." Hero tries to keep their tone casual, quipping.

Villain completely backs them against the wall, bracing them in. Their close proximity feels both intimate and threatening at the same time. They're silent for an endlessly long and tense moment before speaking again in a low voice.

"Don't pay so much attention to others then. I don't share."

[lilith-little-world]

When I was younger, I had a thing for that trope. Maybe it was due to having something very similar happened to me. Dreams are weird things, so I never questioned it until 6 (?) dreams later he kept invading my dreams. I always wanted to write them down and make a story about them but eh, I never got to it.

Anyways I got fanfics to write. Better to write those than that whole mess.

This one is a short one, but I'm planning to add parts to it. Just so I got something to do when I can't come up with the concept oneshots. Also bad grammar and sentence structure, I was like half asleep when I wrote this.

I Saw You Once In A Dream, Maybe|| Oneshot Pt. 1

It was the new year and you were spending time with your family. Last night was spent with a small feast and fireworks but now here you were washing the plates and pans. It was the least you can do since your parents made the feast for yesterday. Doesn't hurt to help clean up a bit.

“Sweetheart, tell me, are you seeing anybody?” Your mother asks while putting away the dishes.

“Sadly and fortunately, nope. Taking a break from all that.”

“I told you that person was no good for you, but you didn't want to listen to your mother.”

“You made it sound like we had ended things terribly, in reality, I just didn't have feelings for them.”

“It's always the same thing. I know, you didn't have any feelings but why did you give them a chance?”

You hand your mother the last plate, shrugging. Honestly, you didn't know why. Maybe the personality or looks that reminded you of someone? Possibly.

“Maybe, I was meant to be single forever.”

“Don’t say things like that, there's always a person for someone. Romantically or platonically. It just takes a while, that's all.”

“Then that person sure is taking their sweet time.”

You sigh tiredly, this wasn't your first time having this conversation with her. Even though her intentions were in a good place, after the first 10, it becomes tiring.

“Here, let me give you some leftovers to take home.”

There she went to get a big tupperware and fill it to the brim with food.

‘At least she tries.’

You smile and help your mother. It wasn't long until you left. Saying your goodbyes to your parents. Driving around the city, filled with life. Many people start off the new year with an exciting day. Going out, shopping, eating at a restaurant, spending it with family or friends, a significant other…

Okay, maybe your mother’s worries were definitely in a good and reasonable place to worry. You try to appear that you're doing fine, but in truth, you were lonely and craving for someone.

‘That's enough, thinking for one day. Time to turn off my mind.’

You get out of your car and walk around the busy streets. A crowd doing the same thing as you. Looking at the shops and cafe, wondering where to go next.

‘Remember kids, if you're feeling depressed or lonely buy some clothes and make-up and hope it fills the void.’

You notice a shop’s window, looking at the merchandise. It was all Monkey King theme. Journals, pens, keychains, stuffed toys, and so on.

“Or buy some merch…” You told yourself softly, lost in thought. It was a small stuffed toy of the famous monkey. Something in you demanded the toy. You obeyed and bought it, feeling a lot happier. It was a cute toy to own and is no bigger than your hands, it won't take much space. You bought a few more things, a few fine-tip pens and a journal. In other words, the day wasn't so bad.

The sun had set and you finally got home, exhausted. The house was empty and dark, with nothing but silence. A sigh escapes from your lips. The loneliness slowly swallows you up. Head to your room, not even trying to turn on the lights. You throw the bag at some random corner and collapse onto your bed. Just wanting the night to end.

You didn't know when you fell asleep, but your buzzing mind went silent. Like the room, you are sleeping in. Maybe your lonely mind was getting tired of your sulking and gave you a strange dream. I mean, what else can you it

It was bright, too bright. Things were fuzzy as your mind blocked out the voices talking to you. However, what you noticed was that you were looking in a mirror. You couldn't get a good look from being fuzzy so looking down, you noticed a red dress. There was golden embroidery of… Well, you couldn't make out what it was. It was blurry.

“Today is the big day! Are you excited?”

Turning to face the young woman with a blurry face. You couldn't help but look at her confused.

‘Excited for what?’, you wanted to say, but your mouth couldn't move.

Next thing you knew, the scenery changed and you were outside. The scene reminds you of a wedding.

Wait-

‘Is this my wedding?!’

You wanted to look around and see if anything cleared up, but it was still fuzzy and blurry as you walked down the aisle. The Wedding March, clearly playing as you came closer to the groom. Who was oddly more blurred than the others?

Okay, now that was rude. As much as this dream was crazy, your mind could have at least come up with a groom and then given you a blurry mess. You never had a greater urge to wake up than right at this moment.

You let the dream play out, as the ceremony went on. The groom held your hand, his hands were rough yet soft. Holding yours gently as if afraid to hurt you. His eyes were on you and a warm feeling filled your chest. You couldn't help but stare at him, trying to get a good look at his face. Slowly it unblurred as you saw a strange mark on his face and the unusual golden glow of his eyes.

“I promise nothing will tear us apart. I will fight the whole celestial army again if it means I can stay by your side.” He said, grinning at you.

“You're going to jinx yourself and when I'm around I'll keep you out of trouble so you won't have to fight the celestial army again.”

The words left your mouth. As much as you were confused, you found this cute. So you stopped questioning this dream and enjoyed this moment.

He leans into you, just inches away from your lips.

Beep, beep, beep, beep-

You grab your phone that was still in your pocket. Turning off the alarm, groaning.

“When the dream was starting to get good.”

You smothered your face into your pillow and let out a small scream.

“Why do I have to wake up?”

Begrudgingly, you got out of bed. The sunlight peeking through your curtains showers the room with light.

‘Right, I got work to do. That dream was nice while it lasted.’

Better to move on when the harsh reality demands more attention. Anyways it was just a simple dream that your lonely mind came up with.

Right?

_______________________________

Remember you can always request and ask questions!

[luckyshotwrites]

heya it’s Riddle Anon/Anon Hearts here. And well I wanted to say thank you. It’s a bit out of nowhere, but ummm I’ve been having trouble with sleep for the last couple weeks and today I woke up like really bad. And I tried just looking through things so I could relax, and I ended up looking at your pizzeria story. And while there were times where I genuinely felt a bit like Lyn I really enjoyed it. I think I’ve been reading it for like an hour and a half now at the first part of Day 13 right now.

I know it’s kinda random and all, but ummm really thank you. It helped me relax a bit and took my mind off of my bad sleeping schedule. I remember even considering trying to imagine who’d I’d want to meet and maybe see what happen in an rp cause I tend to rp a lot with friends or just in my head. In all honesty though I’m rambling a bit but thank you. I know ummm this is out of the blue and it feels a bit kinda stupid and stuff but ummm I appreciate you taking the time to make your story and keep up with it. Even if it sometimes drains you motivation. I hope you can keep going with it. Even if I’m not caught up.

Heh… ummm I’m gonna go back to reading now I kinda feel way too embarrassed and nervous now. And sorry if this is here while you’re asleep I kinda woke up at my 3am and as I said before sleep has been a big issue for me recently… so going back to sleep was quite literally out of the question. Ummm I hope your day goes well and that everything is ok! And that you’re healing well from yesterday.

YO, Riddle Anon! I actually know the feeling. I went to bed a little after midnight and I still woke up at 4 a.m. Mostly because it's hard to sleep with the bruise right now but I've had some sleep issues as of late. I'm on central time so it's 6 a.m. right now, I was already awake. >:D (This is pretty long so for convenience, here's the read more).

Regardless, like-hearing that my story actually could help someone out, squeezes my heart with joy. I wish I could describe it but that's been my dream with writing every since I was little. I have so many stories and ideas roaming around in my head, I think they're great but executing them is the hard part so I never pushed myself to do it until Widfali.

And my biggest dream with writing was that my stories could help people as others fantasy stories growing up had helped me. SO, it's honestly one of the best compliments I can receive. I am so happy and grateful that Widfali could do that for anyone. You have no idea how absolutely sweet it is to read that. Also I'm worried for your sleep schedule. If possible you gotta get some good Z's, please!

AND THANK YOU for taking the time to read what I wrote! Anyone who does deserves all the thank you's as well, readers are my biggest motivation! Without any of you I don't know how well I would have continued.

I hope you keep enjoying it!

Thank you for the askaroni! If there was a market for tears, I would be rolling in dough right now. Because I cry so easily over compliments, I SWEAR I've gotten them throughout my life, I'm not starved. I don't think. But, it warms my heart so much, the same as knowing you peeps SUCCEED TO!

YOU BETTER HAVE AN AWESOME REST OF YOUR DAY, RIDDLE ANON! (NONNEGOTIABLE). Get a nap or two if possible too!

P.s. it's been a long wallop since I rp'ed. Now to get that fix I do DnD with a couple of peeps. xD I can't imagine trying to roleplay these characters. Especially certain ones...cough, cough, LEV, cough, cough. I'd die.

[siyuri]

Wanted to write some stuff so why not here. It appears it is kinda fun to forget about some social media and then like 10 years later pick it up and read stuff your past self wrote. So for the future me.

Hi! Like...you know how everyone always have this habit at the end of every year to be angry at it, feel this bad summury of the feeling for everything that happened and forget any good things? So...fuck this, I had an amazing year. After covid, after mother's cancer, after her death, after my long four years of existing fuck knows how inside all that I had an amazing year. And just wanted to apreciate it and not look for bad things, but celebrate great ones.

This year started with me living in an amazing faetales world - I kinda have this problem... Myself from April to October is hyperactive person. I need to be outside ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I will camp, I will cycle, I will run, walk, crowl but everything should be outside. And my creative part of the brain is silent for half of the year. And then I have Myself - November until April. My creativity just wants to do EVERYTHING. Draw, lern some musical instruments, readreadread, paint glass, do toys, make ANYTHING. But for the love of gods don't look outside (I hope future me knows how to balance them). So, when I have a more than million words fic to let myself live into, I will do it. And when I can't think about anything but it, it is the best thing that can happen to me in this period. So, after like month of pure drugs, I watched some bad play in my city theater, and it was the last straw needed to me FINALLY go to Saint-Petersburg for an amazing theater they have there. Last time I was there, it was with mom, so it was hard to start. But. Then...oooooh! How many amazing things I saw! One of them - I was on 8hours long play "And Quiet Flows the Don" Sholokhov. And it was so epic - couldn't process it like for a day, just didn't talk and was in this happy drug creativity mode again. Then comes March! I had this dream...kinda long time ago, 8-9 years, when life was... good I guess. I wanted to do Cami de Cavalls track around Menorca...but life. And finally, this year!!! I have a wonderful job, I have stable income, I have powers and I can do it. So, comes April and i am walking 250km around Menorca on foot, and one and only dream I had is fullfiled. So... Then I am back and it is the hardest drop I had in a while, but who cares, we are here talking about good things. Then SUMMER! I am finally on good foot with my sister again, I have a friend, I have my bicycle again, I have the sun and everything is GOOD. And after 1.5 years of struggling our grave is done and it is the coziest fucking place in the world!! And then it is tents on the beach, sunrises, good food and seaseasea. And then it is Austria and Wachau and me, walking again and blue happiness at the horizen, because I never saw such mountains up close, and 250km on foot up down up down, and this drop wasn't even bad!!! So I am back home and it october and Larian is waiting for me, and this is just AMAZING, because I LOVE when good people do good things and get recognised for it. And then Palmarosa, it is like full circle, because outside me already asleep and the other one READY TO MAKE THINGS! And I make them and I even LIKE THEM!!! And aside of all transition problems and shitty things aside... like... who cares about them when yesterday I had the artist who is inspiration for me reblogged my art with inspiration tag? Like... WORLD JUST FEELS WHOLSOME!!! and I don't want to remember any bad shit from this one.

[juminsmysticmc]

Hii☺️So, we have RFA+Minor trio being single fathers after Mc's death, what about reversing it?So that Mc is a single mother after they died(

I waited really long to finally make a request and I am very excited right now, especially since it's you.I really love your writings and I read all of them for like a dozen of times and I can't get enough of them😍Thank you so much for your work and stay healthy 🙏🏻

Mc being a single mom after the RFA + Minor Trio died    ( Trigger Warnings! ) 

Trigger Warnings, mention of death, parental death

RFA + Minor Trio as single fathers after Mc’s death (Parental death/ Trigger Warnings)

Did I mention that I like drama? Enjoy! 

Jumin

You pressed your lips together as tears went down your cheek. The baby you just gave birth to was sleeping in Jaehee‘s arms as you sobbed into Zen‘s embrace.

,,It‘s as if he planned everything,“ you sobbed, making your red haired friend shake with his head.

,,When he found out you were pregnant, he made me do all this. He didn’t plan to die a month after the birth of your baby, really, he just feared that if something happened to him, his father would have acted the way he did,“ Seven explained.

The reason why you were currently staying over at Jaehee‘s place was that Jumin died a week ago. One day you let him go out of the front door, still smiling as he kissed your newborn, and not even half an hour later, you found yourself in the hospital.

Someone shot him.

And as if it wasn’t enough, your father in law tried to take away your baby, saying that he had to give his grandchild a better life.

But Jumin, even in heaven, saved you once again, saving a lot of money and having an external saving method thanks to Seven.

He even left behind a letter to his father filled with lies, explaining that the baby wasn’t his child.

Of course everything was a lie, but this lie made it possible for you to see your baby grow up.

,,I can’t even go to my husband’s-” your words died in tears.

,,He will always look over you, Mc, and we’ll help you. It will all be better soon…“ Zen patted your back. He too was mourning for his friend.

Zen

,,Mommy, do I really look like daddy?“ your youngest girl asked you as she brushed her long white hair.

You gulped as you looked over to your oldest daughter.

Her eyes were again filled with tears.

Zen died two years ago, leaving you behind with three wonderful children.

You had to give up your job as manager and instead began to work part time in a restaurant at night and other little jobs while the girls were at school.

,,Daddy… I don‘t even remember him,“ your middle child hissed as she entered the room.

,,I don’t even know him, that’s worse!“ your youngest began to sob.

She indeed looked like Zen. He would have been proud to see her beauty.

Well, he was proud of every daughter he had. He loved them with all his heart.

,,Trust me, I would rather not remember him than live with memories,“ your oldest daughter Mina hissed as she put down her lipstick and rushed out.

You sighed as you looked at your little family.

You were all sleeping in one single room. No one had their own space and instead they all argued with each other whenever they had the chance.

,,You’re always so negative, MINA!“ your middle child Hana hissed, followed by the youngest, Sera.

,,I HATE YOU GUYS! HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!“ she screamed, making your heart stop.

Mina glared at her and fell on her feet as she began to scream a loud, high pitched scream.

,,SERA RYU!“ you screamed.

The house died down as only sniffles were heard.

,,Your father died when the three of you caught a virus. He was trying to go to the shop for some medicine, but that doesn’t mean that one of you is at fault, understand?“ you hissed.

You sat down and began to cry yourself as you called them over into your arms, ready to embrace your crying children.

,,No one is at fault. Please, please don’t fight, girls, your father would be devastated to see that,“ you begged.

,,Sera, you do look like dad,“ Mina sobbed and smiled, making your youngest smile brightly.

Yoosung

Your son finally fell asleep after a long crying session.

Nothing hurt you more than consoling your son who was in deep pain because he got bullied at school for not having a father.

Yoosung died six months ago, making you move into a tinier apartment which led to your son attending another school.

However, you regretted every single decision.

You pulled your phone out as you tried to dry your salty tears.

You entered a new chatroom as you asked for help.

,,What happened? Shall I come over?“ Jumin responded, being the first one online.

,,I can come quicker, I‘m omw,“ Zen shortly afterwards responded.

,,No no, I just…

Can you please bring Jinyoung to school tomorrow? He got bullied… I think if other children see him with you guys, they will respect him more,“ you wrote.

Of course Seven jumped in and wrote six lines about how happy he would be to play ⅓ of a father, making you actually choke on your tears.

,,Thank you,“ you typed and decided to bring your son to bed.

Indeed the three boys kept their promise, making him laugh like never before.

Jaehee

,,And that‘s how we met,“ you laughed as you told your son about the meeting between you and Jaehee.

He nodded as he looked at the picture over the table.

It portrayed you, him, and Jaehee on his first day of school.

Jaehee died a year ago from an illness.

It all went so quickly. One day she got diagnosed and a few months later the two of you prepared the funeral for her.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered picking up your son and driving him to the hospital to give Jaehee the chance to see him one last time.

And indeed, it was their last goodbyes.

Jaehee would never see him finishing school, university, or begin a job, fall in love, or try to cheer him up while being lovesick.

She would never see him get married or have his first child.

It hurt your heart to know that you were the only one left for him.

On the other side, Jaehee was happy that at least he had you. ,,How did your favorite TikTok go?“ she groaned.

,,Take him to the moon for me,“ she whispered.

,,Mom was a strong woman,“ you told your son as a tear left your eye.

,,You too, Mommy, you too.“

Saeyoung 

You sighed as you turned off your alarm to get off the bed.

It was still dark outside, but you had to wake up with the last strength you had. You pulled yourself together and walked back to the kitchen where you prepared some breakfast for your child.

Like every morning, reality hit you as you silently sobbed while putting some rice into the bento box.

Your hands trembled as you looked up, just to gasp for air and keep going.

It was hard ever since Saeyoung died. Things weren’t going well for you.

You thanked God daily for the remaining person you had, that you had friends and family who supported you.

But you also begged God to make this bad life end. Even though it was selfish, you just wanted to see your family again.

Even if Jaehee often tried to make you understand how lucky you were, even at the times where Jumin promised to help you with the medical expenses, even at those times when Yoosung came over to cook dinner, and even at those times when Zen promised to go with your and your child to the park, you just wanted this to end.

You inhaled again and dried your tears as you made yourself a cup of coffee.

,,Good morning, baby,’’ you whispered as you turned on the lights of your son’s room.

,,Mo….m,’’ the boy groaned, probably in pain as you helped him get up to sit on his wheelchair.

,,Wet…’’ he gasped as you noticed that he wet his bed again.

,,It’s okay, baby, don’t worry,’’ you smiled, pushing the chair through the door, passing at the picture of Saeyoung, Saeran, and your two perfectly healthy children.

That day, Saeyoung didn’t just die in a car accident from speeding, he also took his brother and one of your children with him, leaving you with your second son disabled by the accident.

,,It’s okay,’’ you whispered.

Saeran

You looked up to the ceiling as you felt a warm, little hand on your chest.

Turning your head, you could see how relaxed the face of your daughter was as she slept safely and soundly, not worrying about anything or anyone.

You smiled as you saw how much she resembled Saeran, her father.

Your hand moved to stroke her head as you remembered the day you told him that you were pregnant, how he cared for you and his daughter in the pregnancy, how hard labor was, and how emotional it was when he once again decided to save his brother after seeing his own daughter.

,,He would be happy to see her,’’ he said after she was newly born and he was finally allowed to hold her in his embrace.

As if it was yesterday, you remembered how he taught her to walk, how he stood behind her while going to the park and how much he loved to feed her.

This all disappeared one day.

In the morning, he told you that he might have found Saeyoung and in the evening he came home, beaten up with a shotgun wound, collapsing in front of your porch.

It was your worst nightmare and you were honestly happy that this all happened at night, knowing that back then, your three year old daughter wouldn’t have seen anything.

Ever since then, life became harder.

You moved, fearing the Prime Minister or the agency Saeyoung was in would track you down and kill your daughter. The RFA kept helping you guys, but questions like, ,,Where is Dada’’ weren’t always easy to respond to.

,,Mommy,’’ she mumbled and opened her eyes, smiling brightly at you and rubbing her eyes to wake up.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked her.

,,Daddy visited my dreams…’’ she giggled and fell asleep again, making you wander back to old memories too.

Jihyun

,,Mom, I don’t understand my homework,’’ Lucy said, whispering as she entered the room as quietly as possible.

You looked back to her and nodded as you looked back to the little bed your son was in before you walked away, your hand on Lucy’s hair as you smiled at her.

,,What topic?’’ you asked her.

You noticed that she was hesitating so it was probably art since it was related to her father.

,,Art?’’ you asked her to make it easier for her. She had a pretty hard time ever since Jihyun died, well, you too. You all had a pretty hard time.

Jumin wasn’t the same person anymore, or so Jaehee said. Yoosung seemed to regret a few things, and Saeran and Saeyoung were grieving, just like Zen.

Everyone was in pain after the painful death of that one special person.

,,Our teacher told us to draw a painful happy moment but… how am I supposed to make something happy if it’s supposed to be painful?’’ she asked you.

You nodded. ,,Well, describe something painful. What is painful?’’ you asked her.

,,Getting hurt is painful, falling is painful, getting hit is painful…’’

,,How about losing someone?’’ you asked her, making her think about it for a few seconds before she asked you if it wasn’t something sad instead of painful. 

You nodded. ,,When I told you that daddy wouldn’t come home anymore back then when you were younger, do you remember how you felt?’’ you asked her.

,,Did your heart hurt? Did you feel scared and suffocated? Wasn’t it painful?’’ you asked her and even though you could see that she was tearing up, you knew that this was something the two of you had to talk about.

Indeed, Lucy closed up about her feelings ever since then, but this was also a good opportunity.

,,Now, think of a happy moment with your father. Isn’t it something painful but a happy moment as well?’’ you asked her and got up, knowing that she knew what to do.

A week later, you were invited to see your daughter receive a prize for the most beautiful portrait of Jihyun as an angel looking down at the world, a painful and happy moment for everyone who knew him.

Vanderwood

,,Mommy,’’ your son asked you, pulling at your shirt as you stood in front of the stove.

,,Mhhh?’’ you asked him without looking as you were cooking.

,,Why did Daddy leave us?’’ he asked you out of the blue, making you stop everything and look at him.

,,The fish is burning,’’ he suddenly said as he saw the flames, making you shriek and quickly take care of everything.

After everything was taken care of, you took him in your arms and showed him a few pictures of his father.

For now, you never showed him his father. You never dared to speak about Vanderwood, fearing that your son wouldn’t understand your words, but by now you learned that he was much stronger than you ever thought.

,,This is your father, Vanderwood. He didn’t leave because he wanted to, he was kind of forced to,’’ you told him, gulping down the bad feeling you had as your heart began to beat quickly.

,,And why is he gone?’’ he asked you, softly touching the picture of a cool looking brown haired man.

This was on the day you two went to eat after you craved a salad and ice cream.

,,He had an important job to do,’’ you explained. Of course you didn’t tell him that the agency tracked him down and killed him brutally while he tried to keep you, his heavily pregnant, hidden.

,,And what is he doing now?’’ he kept asking you as you remembered the day, as if it was yesterday, when he pushed you into the closet, begging you to close your ears and never come out until called you.

However, that call never came. Instead, Saeyoung pulled you out moments later. You didn’t remember how much time passed.

You just knew that he asked you to keep your eyes closed as he led the way out of the room.

,,He is now protecting you, me, uncle Saeyoung, uncle Saeran, uncle Jumin, uncle Zen, uncle Yoosung and aunt Jaehee,’’ you answered with a smile.

How much he would have loved to meet his son, you were sure.

He was your happiness after all, the last memento of Vanderwood.

MASTERLIST 1

MASTERLIST 2

MASTERLIST 3

26.07.2021// 00:13 MEST

[kachulein]

The day Tumblr decides to fix its bugs and shit I swear I'll hold a party for all my followers 😭😭 and it's okay!! You don't have to be sorry, I was just worried because I thought something happened to you but knowing that you're doing fine makes me happy ❤️❤️ And talking about my exams... Well, I did my best LMAO I'm still waiting for my scores to be posted because yes my teachers are lazy af and need a whole and entire month to write the scores on the app🙂

Ooohh I've heard so many good things about acupuncture treatment!! My dad took one session to control his anxiety and he liked it quite a lot. What a pity that I'm a coward and am afraid of needles🤡 I'm shaking for when I have to get the vaccine LMAO Everyone be out there being scared because of the vaccine and here I am being scared because of a fucking needle 🤡🤡 And I'm so sorry to hear that you got all the side effects of the vaccine 😣😣 I really hope you're feeling better now❤️❤️ I still have to wait until the end of July/beginning of August to get mine😔 How did your exams go?? I remember you told me the other day you did well on one of them!! 👏🏻👏🏻 I'm sure you nailed them❤️❤️

It's been already 1 year and a half since the last time I could see them😭 Fortunately before covid arrived I could meet them all in Thailand (my uncle lives there) during Christmas because if not it would have been 2 years 😭 And about the ideas of writing... Well... I think I should get banned from watching videos about idols LMAO every time I watch a comeback or something an idea for a fic pops up in my mind and I end up with 382773 ideas on my notebook LMAO

IKR😭 The feelings both of them hold in the song UGH😭😭 It makes me sob🤧

About those two new groups... I just saw the MVs... O H M Y F U C K I N G G O D 🙂 BOWKHLUDQHFIYDQ THEY'RE AMAZING🤩🤩 What's happening with nowadays rookies😭

I've been really into sf9 lately, like REALLY INTO🤧 And actually really into their company groups aka Nflying and P1Harmony 🤧 like have you watched the it's live for Moonshot of Nflying?? HOW ARE THEY SO GOOD😭 And then there's P1Harmony with two amazing albums I can't stop singing and dancing to🙂 what do they eat to be all swaggy and perfect being literally babies? I want to know because I'm older than all of them and all I have done in my life is manage to not burn the kitchen while heating my glass of milk before going to bed🤡🤡

Omg yes right, pls fix the bugs tumblr😭😭😭 and thank you so much for understanding!!😭💖 I didn't mean to worry you :( I wrote a long ass answer and rambled on like always and tumblr just decided to eat the ask, I'm really sorry :(

I hope you're doing good yourself and have you gotten your exam grades already? I'm sure you did amazing!!🥺💖💖 I can honestly feel you so much because it's the same for us as well. It usually takes 3 weeks for us to get our exam results, so I'll probably have to wait another two weeks to see how I've done... I really hope it was good alkfleldksld (and I meant to tell you that I think it went well but I don't have the result yet so I'm not sure yet,,, but thank you so much!!😭💖)

I'm so glad the acupuncture helped your dad managing his anxiety! Anxiety is one of the main reasons I get acupuncture treatments and I slowly start to see an improvement with less panic attacks and being able to handle the anxiety better.🥺 I'm sorry to hear you're scared of needles :( I know it's not really helping but the acupuncture needles are so thin you pretty much don't feel anything.🥺👉🏻👈🏻 And lemme tell you something funny, I had an another session yesterday and got some needles in my butt-😂 I really hope getting the vaccine won't be too bad for you😭💖 I've recovered from the sife effects again and I'm feeling a lot better now and knowing that I'm already protected for around 88% makes me feel a lot more safe, so I hope it will be good for you in the end, too!!🥺 After getting the vaccine at the end of July/beginning of August will you be able to go back home to see your family in August already?🥺💞 And omg, that's been such a long time :( I'm sorry you haven't been able to see them for so long :( You must be so happy to finally be able to reunite with them again. I hope you'll have an amazing time!!🥺💖

Omg akxksso I can see how that's a struggle but I also think it's admirable how creative you are and how you find writing inspiration in everything! That's so cool and something you can be proud of!!🥺 I used to always dream up scenarios in my head when falling asleep and ended up making them into fics😂👉🏻👈🏻

And yes, right!! I agree. I love their voices so much!!😭🥺 And omg yes, these rookies nowadays are so powerful😭😍 I'm really looking forward to their future comebacks.💞 And omgggg although, I don't stan these groups I know them and listen to their songs and I can only agree!🥺 I've just watched the it's Live version for N.Flying's Moonshot and god, it's so good and their voices are *chef's kiss*👌🏻 I also gotta say, N.Flying has absolutely amazing songs anyway! They're often those songs I listen to on repeat.😭😭😭 Rooftop is my absolute fave!!💖 Also fun fact, while answering this ask, I was listening to P1Harmony (Scared - such an amazing song), so I can totally feel you!! And on the age thing🤡 I feel you, again🤡 For me, it's the same with Enhypen. They're all younger than me and I feel like a good for nothing grandma👵 looking at them-😂😂😂

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

WARNING DRAMA AHEAD

(Which is crazy because I try to actively have a drama free lifestyle)

So, awhile back I wrote about some issues in a friend group containing A & Em. Summary: I chatted with Em about A unintentionally making me feel shitty for FINALLY accepting my limitations & making lifestyle & wardrobe changes to reflect that. Em said she'd talk to A because if I did it, A might feel attacked & get defensive.

Day before yesterday, Em dropped by to hang, help me put together a shoerack, and go to a local costume shop that does rentals and serves all the theater departments & dance companies in a 70 mile radius. This shop is amazing, been around since I was little, almost everything is hand made with amazing care and detail, and the decor in their shop is ever changing, detailed, and super fucking cool. ANYWAY, we got on the subject of A, whom I've only seen once or twice since talking to Em about it & seemed ok both times aside from getting legit pissed that I'm better at macrame plant holders than she is. Apparently A currently thinks I dislike her or like her less or something. So I asked Em if I should gently talk to her about it and see if we can reach an understanding. She said she thought it was a good idea h really, I don't like one of my friends thinking I dislike them. So yesterday I pulled together some courage and messaged her. The following is the conversation that occured:

Me: So, I've heard that you are upset and under the impression that I don't like you anymore or like you less or something. So I'm gonna clear the air, but I'm gonna be blunt and honest with you because I'm not down for lying. K? (And let me go ahead and flat out say, I don't dislike you or like you any less)

A:I've just been feeling some reservations toward me lately. Go ahead I can take blunt.

(Spoiler: she cannot take even sugarcoated gentle level blunt)

ME: So here is the deal. My illness is eternal and is only ever going to get worse. In fact, it is constantly getting worse in small, large, and sometimes interesting & unexpected ways. Sometimes it creeps on slowly, sometimes it hits like an anvil was dropped on me. Therefore I am constantly having to adjust my lifestyle, activities, wardrobe... EVERYTHING. Very recently, I realized that I have spent the last 3 years trying to live my old life and just cope so my quality of life has been SHIT. I've finally truly accepted the shithole that is my health for what it is and have started to truly make real adjustments to my lifestyle, hobbies, wardrobe, ect. Because I will never get better and live in about 400 sq ft (at best) that means when I realize something doesn't fit my abilities or needs anymore, I get rid of it. However, I always offer those things to the kids & my friends first before donating them. But here's the thing, when I offer these things to you, I get a load of questions & comments that end up making me feel like I have failed as a person for realizing what has taken me 3 years to realize. For example: when I told you that Julia's candles were my last batch ever, there were loads of 'have you tried...' and 'I'm sure you can find a way.' I know you mean well, but if I'm giving something up, I've truly tried ever avenue to make it work within my limits and it just doesn't. Even after I quit candles in May, I kept the stuff (which took up massive space) until August because I doubted myself and was reluctant to lose another hobby. But I need to face facts and be realistic. Same with the sweater. I am drastically altering my wardrobe for whatever the upcoming season is to fit the fact that I need my cane at all times now (POCKETS) and the fact that my clothes need to be comfy enough for me to get dressed every day not just days I'm leaving the house. I've lived in PJs for the last year and a half and it's not good for my mental health. So all things that don't fit that criteria or my new altered lifestyle must go. And it's going to be a constant process because I'm constantly getting worse. The jewelry making stuff, I genuinely forgot you wanted it because honestly i don't even remember what happened yesterday, so I'm sorry. (I had jewelry making supplies that I can't use anymore due to -15 hand strength, which I gave to Em.)

A: I'm sorry that I've been putting you down and making you feel shity. That's never been my intention. If I ask a ton of questions it's not because I don't understand the severity and challenges in your daily life. I ask so many questions because I often find unconventional wacky solutions to peoples problems all the time and if I can be in the slightest bit helpful in finding a loophole or a way you might not have seen, I thought that would be better than just saying "I'm so sorry to hear that" I figured you hear that enough but idk how often you hear people actually trying to find a way. Like the sweater example, I would have been happy to take you shopping for a fun print material the made you some pockets. Outside like a cool patchwork with awesome prints, or inside like a bond detective. But you were so quick to snap at me and explain your whole situation like I am not taking you seriously. I ask because I want to hear your needs and maybe just maybe be able to help out. But if all I do is make you feel like your grandma did then I'll do you a favor and stop inviting myself over to make you feel shitty. I'm glad Emma always knows just what to say.

Now at this point, I stopped replying. I was kind of shocked at her response. Like, I expected her to explain her intentions, despite me making it clear I knew her intentions were good, because that's what people do. I expected us to discuss how things should be moving forward so I don't continue to feel like a failure. I considered maybe mentioning somewhere in there that if I want help or advice or solutions, I'll fucking ask. But I did NOT expect those last couple sentences where she basically stomped her feet and said well since this isn't going how I want, I'm not playing with you guys anymore.

After careful thought, writing & editing over a 5 hr period, I sent this (which are screenshots from my notes because typing is rough, I wanted to convey what I wanted just right, and now you have to click on them to see the full thing. I'm sorry I've failed you, the reader of this normal convo turned melodrama, in such a fashion.):

She responded at like 2 am (when I was asleep) so I saw there was a response when I woke up, but given the history of her behavior in situations like this (conveyed via Em, who has known her MUCH longer) I decided not to open it just yet, as I'd like to relax and enjoy my day. This shit stresses me out. I don't do drama and tantrums. I don't tolerate it from my teenage Spawn, much less fucking adults. I get the feeling that the response is going to be just as melodramatic & tantrum filled. If this is how she handles her intentions not aligning with the result of her actions that were driven by said intentions, then she's in for a real shock when she leaves the cuddlebox of college and enters the real world. Your boss isn't going to care about how good your intentions were when you accidentally burned down the kitchen of the bakery you work in. They will just care that you burned down their fucking business.

Welp, may as well rip off the bandaid. For you, my dear reader, to have closure I will read the response. Back in a sec.

OMG IT WAS SO MUCH MORE DRAMATIC THAN I EXPECTED.

A:I understand. And I told you where I stand. I am the type of friend that instinctually tries to help those she cares deeply about. I'm not the friend to just sit and feel bad when there's something I can do. But I have been feeling for a while now unwanted and you have confirmed it by not saying anything then, just talking about it to my former close friend, and then throwing it in my face that you have been holding on to a box cuz of me. And like the adult i am, I don't see why I should change the type of friend I am just because some one is ungrateful for it. I'll go help someone else leave their abusive boyfriend's in the middle of the night. for the people I care about I'd do anything, anything except sit and do nothing while I'm told how much worse I make things when I try and help. I will just take my good intentions elsewhere. I have had the worst year of my life but I don't remember you asking me once anyway. I wish you the best buy obviously your life is better without me and my negativity in it. I truly am sorry I hurt your feelings and I never ever wanted to. I cherished your friendship more than you'll ever know and you can ask anyone. But because I can't see myself sitting by biting my tongue around you and waking on eggshells because I clearly can't see the bounty between helpful conversion and being a cunt. Since I respect you so much I'll go ahead and remove that stupid cunt from your life so you won't be put down again.

HOOOLY SHIT. I'm not responding to that giant fucking dramatic pity party. She legit needs to grow the fuck up. Good god.