#wylan writes

[wordfires]

transference

i wrote this partially as a response to this ask by the lovely @definitelynot-darcy and partially because i had an idea and had to get it on paper yes i did get out of bed to write this and yes i did hurt my own feelings

as always i love hearing what people think and appreciate any and all reblogs!

-

I was downstairs, by the fire in the library. He was working as he always was at that infernal Project. O, I cannot call it infernal. It was as much his love as he was mine. Perhaps it was love that was so insidious. Perhaps my judgment is clouded.

The Project itself I have never fully understood. I have loved him and I think it has simply been beyond my ken. The man himself I should like to think I have known and felt and understood, in at least as many ways as he has me.

We met at the university library. He was as yet a student, I recently graduated. The library was open to the community, and in the little time that I had, I had taken to checking out books on things I lacked all knowledge of. Something to keep the mind at work outside of the grind of employ. I read somewhere it was good to work the brain at infrequent tasks to keep the wit quick. In my memory he is clear, though I cannot for the life of me remember where on earth we were within the winding stacks.

I find all possible links I could draw to his Project blank in my memory now.

But his smile, the way it was always lopsided, so as to hide the chipped tooth he was so embarrassed by. That is clear as the glasses he refused to wear. I remember, he always tucked them in his pocket and I always worried they would be crushed. He always reassured me that they were perfectly safe. I cannot help but believe him now.

Our love was slow. I think he was shy, he says I was rather bold. I like to think I just couldn’t help myself, even if it meant bending a few expectations. We married six years later, on the last day of autumn. He came across the revelation that sparked the Project the next night. I remember how he held me, so tight I thought I would never find a safer place than his arms.

You read so many stories of husbands lost to their work. Mine was never lost to me. He was mine even in his worst moments, in the moments of feverish philosophy. I remember, in our third year of marriage, he did come down with fever. I worried so much then; the way he tossed and turned in restless sleep, the incessant rambling of indecipherable thought. I had tried to write it down for him, but when he finally pulled through he had less of an idea of the notes’ meaning than I.

He had his position at the university, as I had my own work, finances were never the worry. Between our schedules, and his time in his study and mine in the library, there was always time for us. Once, I had taken ill with the season, and to my knowledge for the fortnight I was laid up with fever he did not once leave my side, except for to fetch us food and new books. Even when he had to leave for work, he left notes on a small pile of reading for me should I have felt well enough. He was so utterly dedicated to that which he loved.

It has only been recently that I feel a change occurred.

It was not long after our fifteenth anniversary that it happened. Nothing in his behaviors changed, nor did his manner towards me, I think it was his perspective on the Project. Some unfathomable shift in his mind. It is all so unclear.

I do not think I am much longer for this world, forgive me, but I must move along. That which is unknown to me is not particularly pressing.

The firelight had swept out. That is the best way I can understand it. It was as if some great shadow had come across the fireplace. And then it flickered back to life. I don’t know what it was, but some Thing in my gut told me it was him and his Project and at long last he had crossed a threshold not meant for him.

I moved faster than I had in some time, the candlelight in the halls of our house flickering in and out without so much as a breath and found myself at the door of the study. Unlocked. Shadows dancing from beneath the crack of the door. Labored breathing, so familiar to my old heart. I pressed on, the wood of the door so cold to the touch I thought it almost ice.

And there he was. He was mine, as he had always been, but something was so changed I fear I cannot put it into words. I could scarcely comprehend it when it was before me.

It was as if he was not truly there. I remember he turned towards me, and he wore that smile of his. But the grimace behind it showed the tooth that should have been chipped, and it was just as perfectly shaped as I imagine it once was. He told me he was sorry. He told me it was not death but we must part and I think I started to cry and that is when he stood from his chair and put his arms around me.

I have never felt so alone. His arms were nothing, a wisp, cold against me. I did not even try to hold him, that anchor deep within me telling me whatever nothing was left of him would break me more than anything.

He thanked me. And he apologized as he had so many times before in that voice he used only for me, that his work would take him far. He said he loved me and I felt ice in my throat when he kissed my cheek. He pulled away and I have never felt such anger as that at my relief at the warmth in his absence. He took me by the shoulders, and he said to me: “I have loved you more than I think any one person has ever loved. If I forget you I think my heart will always remember, and if my mind and your memory remain, then I shall spend every moment wishing I was different and that I might have made you happy.”

The shadows in the curls of his hair stretched, the darkness under his collar becoming a secondary maw, the pool of darkness below his feet a gaping pit. I reached for him and I can only hope that the outstretched shadow of an arm was the last vestige of his rather than my own.

His glasses were perched tidily atop a neatly stacked pile of notebooks and paper on his desk.

I have not left this study since, save to scavenge for the last of the food in our cupboards. I do not know how much time has passed. I have been reading his notes and the books he kept here. If I am correct, I will join him, wherever he has gone. If I am wrong, then I will no longer suffer his absence. I leave this to whoever may find these notes if they come looking for us. If they haven’t already; if my senses have not failed me I believe there was a knock at our door not some hours past. It does not matter. I will find him, or I will cease.

[reonnex]

People always talk about the Kaz and Wylan parrells but have we ACTUALLY went in and talked about them??

They both lost their parents around the exact same time. In the books Kaz is one year older then Wylan and his dad died when he was nine. Marya had "died" whenever Wylan was eight years old. Both had their lives flipped upside for the worst in the SAME YEAR.

Both of them had their lives ruined by a man they put all their trust in and fought to get revenge for. With they BOTH did.

Kaz only fought back because he wanted revenge for Jordie. Jordie was his sole purpose for ticking and going after Pekka. Wylan's was Marya. His mother. Throughout the first book despite wanting to get back at his father, he still feels guilt and is more afraid of him then revengeful. But after he learns his mother is alive?? After he learns what his father did to her? That is his motive. That is what kept Wylan going. And Kaz knew that.

PWATER WATER WATER DORNWING REBIRTHING SO MANY PARALLELS OH MY GOD

Both Kaz and Wylan were rebirthed from the water. Kaz states that the child he used to be had died, and for Wylan's sake its the same. Wylan Van Eck died that night just like Kaz Retived did. The only difference was that Wylan didn't kill who he was. He just pushed him down.

(Fun fact to note that Wylan has his own scheming face as well others point out)

And the show does not hold back on these parallels as well but also shows how opposite these two are. Both of them hid so much of themselves from the person they loved and they BOTH admitted it in a momment of trust. Wylan asking Jepser what his passport says, and Kaz telling Inej about how pekka killed his brother. And even then they both still hide the full truth. But unlike Kaz, Wylan doesn't pull away from Jesper. Even if he doesn't tell him that he is a Van Eck. Wylan accepts the key. Kaz keeps his armor on.

Wylan had every chance to become Kaz, and Kaz had every chance to become Wylan.

[whats-todays-hyperfixation]

i love six of crows but how dare it set my standards so high for books like nothign can beat it. how do we go from "i have been made to protect you, only in death will i be kept from this oath." TO STEALIJG A WHOLE ASS TANK??? like guys how do i recover i keep trying to pick up books and i cant anymore cause its not my stupid group of criminals

[totallyboatless]

Truly surprised anytime i see someone upset that Jesper and Wylan don’t have a slow-burn in the show. I’m realizing this is a hot take, but I want more fast-burns. “Will they/won’t they” can be great, but it has to match characterization, and aging up the Crows would absolutely change how Jesper and Wylan get together.

Kaz and Inej make sense to slow-burn — they both have some level of touch aversion, extreme trust issues, and “I’m an island i don’t need anyone” syndrome.

But Jesper and Wylan? Jesper is fully sexually active in both the books and the show, but being sexually active in your 20s is vastly different than as a teenager. He knows what he likes and goes for it and has been doing that for years. Wylan is only like 15 in the books and super inexperienced - but he’s always had that secretly-confident, slightly-unhinged streak. In this alternate universe, he’s had an extra almost-decade for those traits to grow before meeting the Crows — he knows *so* much more about himself.

Wylan isn’t shy, he’s reserved. There’s a difference — it’s not a lack of confidence, his confidence is just quiet. Wylan hits me so hard as a relatable queer character because he plays the game of gently feeling out interest - when we meet him he’s sussing out if Jesper is still interested, and I imagine when they first met he did the “i’m going to signal to you i’m queer and hope you signal back” dance that happens when you’re trying to figure out if hitting on someone in a queer context will be received well or not.

But as soon as Wylan gets the go-ahead that Jesper is interested, he’s all confidence. He was just waiting for the explicit permission to go for it. Both times in the show when we see Jesper and Wylan start to get hot and heavy, Wylan is the one who initiates.

So in the show we have two sexually active adults who are attracted to each other, who aren’t afraid to go for what they want once they get a positive social queue, and who live in a super dangerous place with a “live fast, die young” mentality. Anything other than them jumping each other the first night they met wouldn’t make sense.

And then we get to see the meat of their relationship! The conflict isn’t “tension bc they want to bone” the conflict is “they need to learn to communicate and be on the same page and figure out if they can make this work” which imo is infinitely more interesting for these two characters.

[sky-neverending]

Wylan, in the shower: YOU CALLED ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE! SO CASUALLY CRUEL IN THE NAME OF BEING HONEST-

Nina: who hurt Wylan? Jesper, i swear to god if you broke his heart—

Jesper: don’t worry about it. he wanted me to break up with him for ten minutes so he could sing the song

Nina: Fair enough. continue on then.

Matthias: I don’t understand you people

[jazzythursday]

Wylan leaves in the morning.

He doesn’t plan to, not exactly, but he definitely doesn’t plan on staying, either.

Wylan is no stranger to one night stands. He can’t say he gets around very frequently, but enough to know the general plot of how they're supposed to go.

Flirt, drink, fuck, leave. The order isn’t necessarily set in stone, but the list ends the same every time.

He has a good time, for the most part, and it’s always a welcome break from the awful chemical smell burned into the Tannery or the staleness of the empty rooms in cheap boarding houses (when he can afford them) that Wylan is used to. Wylan likes the freedom that comes with it, too. It’s liberating to go where he wants and do what he pleases; to not worry about who he’s seen with or sleeps with or what they might think of him after. And he likes feeling wanted, for a little while. He likes being reminded that he exists.

So Wylan does not make a habit of falling asleep with the people who take him to bed.

He doesn’t even remember falling asleep, really.

He doesn't remember, and yet, Wylan wakes up with his head pillowed on Jesper’s chest. With Jesper’s arm draped over him. His breath is warm where it ghosts over the top of his hair, and if Wylan glances up he can see the way Jesper’s mouth— those lips— fall open in sleep.

It’s the best morning he’s had in months, possibly. Certainly the most comfortable.

He knows it can’t last.

Wylan looks at Jesper, still sleeping peacefully next to him, and he panics.

He’d woken up in Jesper Fahey’s arms.

He’d slept with Jesper Fahey.

Jesper has a reputation, and Wylan knows it, even new to the Barrel as he is. He’d heard about Dirtyhand’s second and resident sharpshooter plenty— Can’t resist a gamble, never misses a shot, and not just with bullets. Jesper Fahey is an excellent marksman, they say, with terrible luck with the cards, and a soft spot for pretty girls and even prettier boys.

Jesper’s played the field— multiple fields— went on a seismic world tour of fields.

Wylan is very good at not being noticed. He’s also very good at listening. People tend to look past him, they never pay any mind to the too skinny boy with the wild hair and the hunched shoulders and the grime that never seems to wash off completely after his long shifts at the Tannery. Wylan knows this, knows he’s very adept at being able to disappear, when he needs to.

So by the time Wylan actually meets Jesper, he’s well aware of his place in Ketterdam’s booming rumor mill. Jesper has many, and Wylan thinks by now he may have heard them all.

And yet, none of them do a thing to prepare him for Jesper.

They’d met in a tavern.

Wylan had been nursing his drink for the better half of an hour, trying to come up with reasons not to go back to the sad cot he had waiting for him in a rented room, with the only window overlooking the brick wall of a dark alley.

So far, he’d only come up with the one.

Wylan had seen the tall Zemeni man from across the room and hadn’t stopped looking since. He was flirting with a girl at the bar, twirling one of his guns in one hand demonstratively with a drink in the other. The girl— a curly haired blond— was giggling, hand pressed to her mouth with eyes that had very clear and direct intentions.

Wylan had almost resolved himself to a night of wasting the few kruge at his disposal with little to show for it, when the man had looked up and caught him staring. The man had smiled, twirling his gun with an extra flourish and then tipped his hat. Wylan smiled back, and gave a little wave. Embarrassing, He’d thought, stop it, he’s already with someone else anyway. He’d looked down, and stared at the near empty contents of his drink until someone sat down next to him and said, in a voice like apple butter and sweet syrup, “Can I get you another of those?”

Then Wylan had looked up into the eyes of the handsomest man he’d ever seen, and thought, he has the most perfect lips.

Out loud, he’d said, “I, uh, well—” His mouth was wide open, he’d realised, and shut it quickly. Again, the man had smiled. Again, Wylan had smiled back. “Yes, please.”

And that's how he’d met Jesper.

Afterwards, they’d stumbled through the streets— I know a place, Jesper said, If you want to take this somewhere more private— until they’d passed a corner where a vendor was selling traditional Kerch sweets out of a cart.

“Stroopwafels!” Jesper had stopped. “I love stroopwafels!”

Wylan was tugging him toward the cart without really making a conscious decision to move, and Jesper had laughed, surprised and delighted.

Wylan bought them both stroopwafels and handed Jesper his with a shy smile and a shrug. “For the drink.”

Jesper looked at him consideringly, head caulked to the side, and Wylan felt himself blushing in the low light of the lamps. “You’re sweet,” he’d said eventually.

“Is that bad?” Wylan had asked, sheepish. Jesper was already shaking his head.

“It’s good. Just not that many sweet things to be had in the Barrel. It’s refreshing.” He’d bit off a piece of one of the waffles and smiled. “These are sweet too,”— he’d leaned in, smile still earnest but with something decidedly different underneath— “I like sweet.”

Jesper had not touched him like he’d been expecting to be touched. Jesper made no assumptions; he’d asked, about everything, in a way that was near gentlemanly if it wasn’t for the fact that he radiated trouble through his pores. Jesper was— not quite gentle, because Wylan had expected hot and heady and everything deep, and Jesper was all of that and more— but he wasn’t rough. He didn’t bruise, not if Wylan didn’t say yes first, and afterwards he’d laid back down and settled Wylan into his arms in a way that he had no real way of protesting— didn’t want to protest, anyway— and kissed him.

It was that that had scared Wylan the most, he thinks. Because Wylan is rarely kissed for the express purpose of it. It was always the promise of more— the rush of what was to come. But people do not generally tend to kiss Wylan for the sake of kissing Wylan. It’s different. Jesper is different, and Wylan can’t afford to be stupid enough to do something like get attached. Can’t afford much at all— really.

But Jesper had kissed him, pleased and lazy and warm, and at some indeterminate time later they had both apparently fallen asleep.

And it was nice.

It was too nice. It hurt with how nice it was.

Wylan peels himself slowly out of Jesper’s arms, careful not to wake him, and decides then that he cannot stand to be here any longer.

Jesper Fahey is not what he’d expected, he’s better.

Jesper Fahey is lovely, and beautiful, and kinder to him than anyone has been to Wylan for almost as long as he can remember.

Jesper Fahey is more than he could have ever hoped for, and he isn’t going to stick around for someone like Wylan.

So Wylan leaves, and he doesn’t look behind him as he closes the door.

[moonstruck-poet]

His Love Language

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!

Summary - This fic depicts Kaz and the subtle ways in which he shows his love.

Warnings - curse words, injury, wounds, blood, fight.

Kaz Brekker noticed everything. Whether it be someone cheating in a game of cards, enemies tailing him during his walk, or even his crows being unlike their usual selves.

Because he always paid more attention to what a person is doing than what they're saying. Talk may thrill, but action reveals.

He had an eye for taking in the details. It was both terrifying and beautiful.

Terrifying for his rivals of course. He knew exactly what to pull off and how to pull it off for them to go insane.

And beautiful for his love, his one and only. Him having such a knack for remembering the littlest of things helped him immensely in his relationship with you.

Not many people noticed it before, not even you yourself. But as time passed, you learned that his love language were actions. Not physical touches, words of affirmations, gifts and presents. No.

But it was all about those small acts showcased by him that made you fall deeper for the bastard of the barrel. Your heart now always took notice whenever he did the most mundane things for you. It immediately took up its pace and reminded you of the exact reason why it still kept on beating.

Your fellow crows took a hell of time to gather just how deep the love of Kaz Brekker was. But once they did, saints were they both shocked and ecstatic.

All of them had their own doubts when they came to know of your relationship. Nobody was a stranger to the fact that both of you were extremely closed off people. Not opening more than what was necessary, and in the case of Kaz, not opening up at all.

But one look at the way you two understood each other without even having to express, made them believe that you two would make each other happy.

===============================

Dirtyhands had struck another deal with a man named Arken Viking. The plan seemed quite simple, understandable even when it was explained.

And naturally everybody was feeling good knowing that they had a hundred percent chance of survival as it wasn't a difficult mission by any means. It just had a lot of steps that needed to be followed and so all seven of them were heavily involved.

Jesper, Wylan, Kaz and Matthias were waiting for the other girls to arrive. It was the final task of the day and they would then carry on again tomorrow.

Jesper was the one to pace around, unable to sit still in one place. He hated waiting more than anything else. Ask him to put up some money for a gamble? It would be done without wasting a second. Task him with shooting something impossibly far away? He'd have it completed before you could say shoot. But staying put in one place, he couldn't do it.

It was only for Wylan engaging with him that he even sat for ten minutes.

"Where did they go?" He grumbled and finally got up, stretching his legs and walking to stand near the two men who stared ahead, their expressions tight.

"They're late," Matthias muttered, trying his best to hide the worry he felt for a specific one but it was useless, all of them knew about his feelings but him.

"It'll be fine, they'll be here soon," Wylan said, standing next to Jesper and blushing very slightly when the tall boy leaned his shoulder against his and let out a sigh.

"You're sure that there's no danger right, Kaz?" Jesper asked and looked at his boss who didn't look away. His eyes firmly set on the road in front of them.

"Yes," he spoke, sure of himself. But there was this slight, very tiny nagging in the back of his mind that something had gone terribly wrong and he clenched his jaw.

But all of their worries dissipated at seeing the silhouette of three women walking towards them.

Matthias let out a sigh of relief once he saw Nina's bright face, him sending a quick prayer to Djel for looking over the three.

Kaz felt himself lighten instantly, his previously tensed posture relaxed as he saw you looking positively unscathed. His eyes found yours instantly and you sent him a smile, while quickly closing the distance between you two.

"You're late," was all he said, his eyes sweeping over everyone before landing on your figure which was leaning against the wall, right next to him.

"Let us live a little, Brekker," Nina rolled her eyes while Inej shook her head, though she too smirked.

"We were worried," Wylan was the one to speak that was on the tip of everybody's tongue.

"All of you?" She said with a raised eyebrow, looking pointedly at Kaz who merely glared at her sharply.

"Obviously!" Jesper exclaimed. "Now that you're all here, we can finally get some well deserved rest. Kaz let's take a room somewhere, yeah?"

"We can't," he said, turning his eyes away from you, rather unwillingly actually.

"What do you mean we can't?"

"Use your eyes, Jes," Inej said with a teasing smile. "Do you see any shops, hotels or anything nearby?"

"Then where the hell are we sleeping?" Nina said with a incredulous look. "I am not going to lie down in the middle of the street!"

Jesper too looked alarmed at the prospect and whipped his head around to stare at their leader.

"You think I'd let everyone sleep on the roads?"

"Can't put anything past you at this point," she grumbled and you laughed making Kaz give you a disbelieving expression.

"There's a warehouse ten minutes from here, we'll stay there for the night".

All of them groaned loudly at the thought of walking once again but soon started their small journey. And once they had reached the place, Jesper quite literally threw open the doors and scanned the area.

"Clean enough," he shrugged and laid the small blankets they had brought onto the floor. "Good night then," he waved lazily and Wylan followed his lead but not before gazing fondly at him for a few seconds.

"You failed to mention this in you plan, Kaz," Nina shot him a look and dragged her belongings to the corner of the room, accompanied by Inej and Matthias.

"Let's sleep, shall we?" You said softly and he nodded, taking off his coat while you arranged the sheets and removed your shoes, sighing at finally being able to rest.

He laid down himself, his body close to yours so your arms brushed a little. "You're okay, aren't you?"

"I'm all good," you turned your head to face him, taking in his features that you so loved. From his dark brown eyes that softened at your reply to his hands placed in front of him, the pale skin shining under the minimum lighting present.

He gave a curt nod and scanned your face once before closing his eyes, depriving himself of your addictive beauty.

"Night," you whispered and turned on your side, one hand under your head for support and the other lying in front. He didn't reply but instead reach ahead to brush his thumb against your forearm and interlocking your little fingers together.

You smiled, him being the last thought in your mind before sleep overtook you.

The rest of the night passed in peace before it was time for the sunrise. Naturally Kaz, Inej and Matthias were the first ones to wake. The rest were all sleeping soundly and soft breaths echoed in the room.

Kaz was looking over the layout of the building once again, making sure that everything would go on without any problems or worries when suddenly your knee brushed against his.

He stiffened at the contact for a second before turning around to see you pulling your legs up to your chest and curling into a ball. He immediately spotted the goosebumps that littered your arms and an unnoticeable shiver pass through you.

His eyes searched for a spare blanket somewhere but found none as all were used as mattresses for everybody to lay on. A small frown marked his lips as his mind raced and landed on a conclusion.

He took his coat that he had used as a pillow and dusted it before gently putting it over your body. Your curled figure made it easier and he adjusted it, making sure the warm jacket covered you completely.

You involuntarily grabbed the collar, your eyes still shut and cuddled into it.

While he felt himself ease up with satisfaction and he shot you one last look, unable to keep the fondness away from his gaze and returned to check the papers.

Matthias who had been watching the unspoken exchange felt his insides warming up at seeing the cold and distant demeanour of Kaz Brekker melting a little for you.

===============================

Predictably, the heist was successful and no one had expected anything less. In fact, it had gone a little more than satisfactory. They had no troubles waiting for them inside the building and no distractions outside too.

So to conclude, everybody was high on the fact that they had managed to pull it off with such stealth.

They were all given their paychecks when they returned back home.

"Saints," Jesper sighed and lovingly twirled the kruge in his fingers while Wylan unknown to anyone else but you shot tiny daggers at those pieces of money.

You hid your smirk, keeping the check in your pocket and walked over to your friend, "I understand, Wy," you patted his shoulder sympathetically while he became red.

"What do you understand?" He asked hurriedly and avoided eye contact.

"Oh come on," you chuckled. "I know about your not so little feelings. You fancy him, don't you?"

"No I don't," he mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe just a little," he added as an afterthought.

You just brought him in a comforting side hug, quite endeared by the boy and ruffled his already wild hair. "I hate to say it, but he's more oblivious than anyone".

"I know," he groaned in exasperation, resting his head on your shoulder as you were considerably taller than him.

"Planning to steal her from Brekker?" Nina's playful words broke their conversation making the others laugh.

"Who's stealing what from me?" The man himself entered, as usual being perfect in his timing of showing up at the most unnecessary of times.

Wylan immediately removed your arm from his shoulder but Kaz being himself obviously glimpsed it. His expression did not betray anything, it was carefully kept stoic and calm. But he couldn't fool you, there was a reason why he'd let you walk fearlessly into his locked up heart.

His eyes seemed sullen for just a fraction of second. He wasn't reacting on the joke, of course not. He was now used to the crows trying to make him jealous. But rather the thing that had made him feel lost, was touch.

His inability to provide you with every bit of himself was killing him inside. For heaven's sake he couldn't even bear to embrace you without feeling as though he were on the edge and one small step would make him fall deeper into the oceans.

He swallowed and averted his gaze making you stare at him even more, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

You got up from your place and went over to sit in a chair beside him, keeping the distance because you weren't sure if he was okay with the proximity or not. But then he himself shifted his chair, and your legs brushed making him pull away quickly.

"Kaz," you said worriedly, moving back a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he lied and you frowned. He knew very well that you could tell he was being untruthful.

He willed his mind to focus on you rather than his surroundings and took your hand in his, taking a deep breath despite the barrier of his glove.

But it wasn't enough, he felt the strange need to be even closer to you despite his brain screaming in denial. And for the second time in his life, he decided to go with his heart and looked you in the eyes, noticing your evident concern as you approached him cautiously.

He gave his surroundings a quick scan. It was only the seven of them and they were all minding their own business. He made a split decision and started taking the glove off of his right hand.

You didn't say anything, finally understanding that he needed your touch and you were more than happy to provide.

He stopped in his tracks after pulling it off, staring at his pale, vulnerable hand.

"It's okay," you whispered softly, fighting the urge to lean over yourself. "I'm here. It's just you and me. You can do this".

He looked unsure but slowly extended it towards you. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, he had, but it had been quite a long time ago.

He gently brushed his fingertips over your palm and relaxed when no waters rose. He nudged his little finger with yours and looked up to see you before locking them.

Your face held a small, adoring smile. It was so simple, yet so complex. You squeezed gently once and he returned it instantly making you laugh softly.

He felt strange in a good way, as if he had accomplished everything he wanted when he had only heard the sound of your laughter.

"Okay you two stop your gossiping, it's dinner time," Jesper broke the moment and was rewarded with a threatening glare. He just grinned in return when his eyes fell on a hand, Kaz's hand to be specific and his mouth hung open slightly.

"Never seen a hand before?" Kaz raised an eyebrow and swiftly pulled on the glove.

He looked away, his mind still trying to figure it out as he grabbed the plates.

You stood up from your seat much to Kaz's displeasure who shot a heartbroken look your way that you missed. But Jesper caught on as he was sitting right opposite.

He'd never thought that he would live to see the day when Dirtyhands would look sad like a lovesick puppy. He was debating with himself whether he even saw it happening because the look was gone in less than a second, replaced by his usual dark gaze.

But he was cut off from his thoughts when you smiled at him, keeping a plate of food on the table. "Enjoy".

"Yeah, 'course love".

All of them were now sitting at the table for the first time in months. They just never seemed to have a time fixed that would match everyone's schedule. And for most part, they were all lazy as well.

You were sitting at the corner of the table with Nina at the opposite side, her having every bit of your attention at the moment as she chatted away happily much to the disappointment of the man sitting to your right.

"The cake is great, Nina," Inej complimented her and she gave her a wink in return.

"It is nice," Matthias agreed making the said chef blush despite her smirk.

"Yeah I love it," Wylan smiled brightly.

"Oh damn," you winced as the spoon fell down with a loud clatter, breaking the conversation for a bit before it resumed again.

Inej watched you with amusement, laughing at your resigned expression when you bent down to retrieve it with a sigh. But then her eyes widened in surprise.

Kaz Brekker, the most ruthless man she'd ever met was maybe not that uncaring. She merely watched as his hand went to cover the sharp corner of the table as if it was an everyday occurence.

And you got up, putting the spoon away to take a new one when you stopped mid-action to see a gloved hand had been placed inches above your head that would have definitely rubbed against the edge.

At the moment all that existed for you was the person sitting right next to you. You stared at him blankly, planting holes on the side of his face.

He, sensing it turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows as though to ask, 'What?'

But you just shook your head and offered him a small smile and you swore you saw his lip twitch slightly.

===============================

"Ready Inej?" You asked, as softly as you could muster though you were shaking inside, knowing that you two only had one shot at this.

"All ready," she whisperer back and crouched down slightly, preparing to jump.

A gunshot was heard and the guard was successfully distracted by the sound giving Inej some time to slip in between the shadows and enter the room.

You had no choice than to shoot a bullet and now they were all alarmed which would make escaping very difficult.

Your eyes squinted in the darkness as you surveyed the room, hoping no one caught a glimpse of you and praying to whichever Saint there was for Inej to finish her job.

"Come on," you muttered to yourself, your legs shaking with anticipation as it had easily been ten minutes since she had disappeared. "Where the hell are you?"

Just then you spotted some movement going on further to your left and loaded your gun while also keeping one hand on the scabbard tied around your waist. Your footsteps were barely heard as they travelled softly on the wooden floor.

Someone had definitely seen you and were on a hunt, all you could do was make sure to stay hidden perfectly. The darkness was surely an ally but an enemy too.

A loud thud was the only warning you had before someone knocked the air out of your lungs making you skid backwards. You gasped, hands pressed to your chest while taking in deep breaths and moving away from the man, buying yourself time. It didn't feel like your ribs had broken but it hurt nonetheless.

You wracked your brain for a sign of another presence but it was only him. "Viking," you growled in anger after he stepped into the light. "I should've known".

He simply chuckled darkly, "You didn't though. Even Brekker failed. So I think I did my work to perfection, yeah?"

"Who else have you got?"

"No one!" He said, sounding strangely happy and you believed him to be a psychopath. "But the same can't be said for you, am I right?"

But you just shrugged, knowing if you spoke he'd be able to distinguish because of your voice. You should think about asking Kaz to teach you how he managed to always control his tone perfectly. But that would only be possible if you got out of here alive.

Not saying another word you charged, knowing using a gun would prove to be dangerous for you if he snatched it from you. Unfortunately, one of your downfalls was thag you didn't have much of a strong grip. And so you took two knifes and attacked him from both sides.

He took on a few cuts, some going deep and you were scarred too. A small one painted your cheekbone, one on the side of your neck and some on your arms.

You fought for quite a time, both being bloody with sweat dripping off your bodies. It was only when you pretended to hit him from your left and he fell for the basic trick, blocking your attack and in turn giving you easy access to wedge your knife straight into his abdomen. You shot him too for safety measures and double checking.

"Motherfucker," you heaved a sigh, wincing after feeling the burn of the cuts littering you and the stickiness of blood. "Fucking finally!" You exclaimed when your friend came into view, panting slightly and you knew she had gotten into a fight as well.

"Atleast we're matching," she said with a smile and pointed at the similar scars on your forearms.

"Yeah sure," you laughed and quickly moved out, not wanting to personally invite trouble.

The journey back the the Slat was a peaceful one, as it always was with Inej. You talked about Arken's betrayal, the documents she'd found and copied and some amounts of kruge that was just lying on the desk.

"Well despite everything, atleast we got it done," you grimaced slightly and opened the door, immediately walking over to the bar to get yourself a shot atleast. You needed the liquor desperately.

"Oh you're h- Saints!" Wylan sputtered, taking in the bloody sight when you turned. "You're drinking whiskey?!"

"Wy," you said, trying to explain before you faced his wrath. "I needed it".

"Like hell you did," he shook his head and called Nina so urgently that anyone would think you were dying.

"Don't- Wylan-" you cut yourself off after seeing his glare.

"Calm your potions, she's not dying" Nina Zenik said after one glance at your figure lounging in the chair.

"But she's injured!"

"Injury and death don't mean the same thing! And she looks alright to me except for a few cuts. Oh you and Inej have matching tattoos now," she said with a laugh.

"Jesper!" You summoned your gunslinger and he appeared right before you. "Take your man away or I'm going to actually die".

The boy got out of his haze of sering you all bruised and bloodied up before smirking a little and throwing a wink. He took hold of Wylan's arm and dragged his away.

"Matthias get me some bandages would you?" Nina asked as she healed the cuts and Matthias who had finished dressing Inej's arm walked over to you.

"Ouch woman!" You groaned and threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.

"It's the size of a paper cut! You don't shout this much when you have a literal bullet in your shoulder".

"They hurt more".

She rolled her eyes though a smile was present on her face as she cleaned the blood from your neck and healed the long cut there.

"Where's Kaz?" You asked, not wanting to admit that you had missed him and wanted to be in his presence.

"He's out somewhere, probably finding another deal," Matthias sighed and bandaged your palm.

After some time you were all healed though the scars were as clear as day. You didn't mind them at all because you were convinced they made you look even more terrifying and beautiful.

"You all okay?" You questioned Inej who was sharpening her collection of knives.

"I always am," she smiled and took your knife to sharpen making you give her a grateful look.

It was now almost past eleven at night and you were sitting on the bed in Kaz's room waiting for him. You wanted to see him, had longed for him after being away for almost an entire day.

And the Saints did answer your plea albeit a while later. You heard the familiar tap of his cane and heavy footsteps as he climbed the staircase and opened the door. His eyes sharp but relaxing upon seeing you.

"Mission went well?" He asked and took off his coat and hat while walking towards you and slumping down on the bed.

"Yes, though Arken's betrayal was a great bit of surprise," you said and sat up, unconsciously putting weight on your elbows and arms in doing so and hissing hissing angrily, clutching your sore muscles.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately but when you didn't answer, he got up to turn on the lights and saw your scrunched up face.

And one by one he took notice of the bruises that were turning black and blue, bandages being wrapped around your palm and bicep and a thin but prominent scar on your neck. He swallowed the unfamiliar restlessness, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and kill the man who had injured you so badly.

"You're hurt," he stated as though you weren't aware of it and closed the distance, sitting as close to you as possible. "You're hurt," he repeated, his eyes flicking from every part of you back to your eyes.

"I was, I'm okay now".

"Who?" He all but spat out, his insides burning with hatred.

"Arken. But I killed him, don't worry".

He eased a little and removed his gloves, cautiously reaching forward to hold your bandaged palm in both of his hands. His breath hitched at the coldness and you made a move to pull away but his grip tightened and he shook his head firmly.

Slowly but surely he relaxed again, feeling comfortable as he unknowingly cradled your hand with such gentleness that you closed your eyes. His fingers traced the edge of the white material, rubbing slow circles.

He suddenly looked up and your breath got caught in your throat at the sheer proximity between you two. You were so close that you could feel the air he heavily exhaled and a faint blush was quick to rise on your cheeks. His dark brown irises staring intently into yours with a flame of possessiveness.

His eyes dipped down to your lips before moving to the scar on your cheekbone and his eyebrows furrowed just a tiny bit. He raised his hand once again, he had only done it once before and the feeling was a huge rival to drowning.

His jaw tightened when the tip of his index finger touched your jaw as softly as a feather. Despite wanting to stay still, you couldn't help it and leaned into his hand, conveying the message that you needed more.

He understood and gritted his teeth, carefully sliding his palm upwards to cup your cheek. His chest expanded as he released the pent up frustration.

This feeling, it was a rival to heaven.

Now that he had touched your skin, he craved more. His thumb softly caressed the scar like it may disappear under his brush. The finger moved at a leisurely pace, soaking in the beautiful feeling for as long as he could hold on.

You couldn't bring yourself to talk after witnessing the tenderness that oozed from his touches and caresses. It was like nothing you had experienced before. The moment felt so precious and for good reason.

You smiled at him, your eyes displaying the immense love that your heart held only for him and also silently thanked him.

He noticed. Of course he did.

And he offered you a gorgeous smile of his own. His lips stretching though not too wide but it was perfect for you and you fell for him yet again.

You found home in his smile and he saw love in your eyes.

===============================

[bravebookfan]

I wish there were more people who not only loved Leigh Bardugo's universe but also her showstopping writing. There are 3 things that I love about her Six of Crows duology: world building, characters, and dialogue.

At the start of each of her books, there are detailed, relevant maps that are logical and highly well-thought through. The insane amount of knowledge the reader gains after reading just two books is all due to proper planning and seamless writing. Not only does she touch on the basic differences between each nation, but Leigh also speaks on culture, religion, historical figures and events, physical appearance, and economics. The author clearly has experience and broad-ended knowledge on the entire world, down to the crumbs.

Our main characters: Jesper, Wylan, Kaz, Inej, Nina, and Matthias, each get their own backstories and personalities that feel so utterly real. Their inner turmoil and relationships with other characters as well as developments are subtly seen. The characters grow and overcome something that's ingrained in them.

Jesper: escaping from his Fabrikator abilities, running away from responsibilities, and Kaz's forgiveness

Inej: the manacles that the Menagerie chained her with, the Iron Blade/her shadow, remaining faithful and true

Kaz: trauma and physical touch, letting himself be vulnerable

Matthias: breaking away from the iron beliefs that the Fjerdans drilled into him, loving Nina and the Crows

Wylan: letting himself be successful despite dyslexia, escaping from the clutches of Van Eck, finding Marya

Nina: saving Grishas, jurda parem

Finally, dialogue that is compelling and funny is something unexpected from such a dark and ambitious story. The bantering and conversations between all characters are absolutely enchanting. Nothing more to say.

Leigh Bardugo was born for writing. This story is stuck in my brain.

[anjallii]

I miss them :(

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Thinking about how cool it would’ve been if the Soc spinoff used Wylan’s knowledge of Fjerdan to expand on his friendship with Matthias, like when Matthias didn’t know the Kerch word for snow goggles in the book and he didn’t want to ask Nina he just pointed to them and said “keep your eyes covered” instead, but we could have had him turn to Wylan and say:

“Lamb. How do you say snow goggles in Kerch?”

And then Wylan would say “snow goggles” in Kerch (/English for audience purposes) and then Matthias would tell everyone to put their snow goggles on and we would see both Nina and Jesper seething right up until their eyes were covered - especially because Nina would understand what Matthias had just said.

[thejudeduarte]

Wylan chapters have some of my favourite quotes ever 🥹

"Wylan summoned every bit of bravado he'd learned from Nina, the will he'd learned from Matthias, the focus he'd studied in Kaz, the courage he'd learned from Inej, and the wild, reckless hope he'd learned from Jesper, the belief that no matter the odds, somehow they would win."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 427

"Until this moment, Wylan hadn't quite understood how much they meant to him. His father would have sneered at these thugs and thieves, a disgraced soldier, a gambler who couldn't keep out of the red. But they were his first friends, his only friends, and Wylan knew that even if he'd had his pick of a thousand companions, these would have been the people he chose."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 334

"His father had wanted Wylan to vanish. He'd wanted them to disappear the way he'd made Wylan's mother disappear, and for a long time, Wylan had wanted the exact same thing. That had all started to change when he came to the Barrel, when he got his first job, when he met Jesper and Kaz and Inej, when he'd begun to realize he was worth something."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 422

"We were all supposed to make it."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 510

"Wylan wanted to be brave, but he was cold and bruised, and worse- he was surrounded by the bravest people he knew and all of them seemed badly shaken."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 315

"He had no illusions about why Kaz had looked out for him, but he also knew he never would have survived this long without his help. And Kaz didn't care if he couldn't read. Kaz and the others teased him, but they'd given him a chance to prove himself. They valued the things he could do instead of punishing him for the things he couldn't."

- Crooked Kingdom, page 322

Wylan just looks up to them and loves them so so much it makes me sick 😭😭

[heypax]

one day ill write the post about how the most annoying mischaracterizations of wylan always stems from people not being able to recognize/understand the contradictions in his personality. yes hes the “we could wake them up” guy but he’s also “who’s mark?”. he threatned to push kuwei in the canal, and inej said that jan has the same eyes as wylan but without wylans kindness. yes he was the one who said “just girls?” and initiated the kiss but hes also blushes at half the things jesper says. he’s the demo expert and the guy who wanted to ring for tea after he’d nearly been killed. he doesn’t want to be a criminal but the moment he finds out its for inej it’s all good. and if I were writing the post id go into how I read this as a consequence of growing up in a privileged & abusive household which meant in some ways he’s never taken care of himself and other ways he’s had no one to take care of him. if i was writing that post.

[frozenfrogz]

The disappointment in getting motivation to write a fic then halfway through realize you’re better off just reading fics instead of writing them.

[fullmoonyy]

so I'm reading six of crows and I'm loving how kaz is so smart and manipulative while still behaving like a teenager.

I find all of his comebacks hilarious coz he sounds like a teen. So to my fellow writers, if you write about adolescents don't make them sound like they are 25, unless you have a reason to ofc, pls and thx.

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

My brain came up with a situation™

Enjoy?

So, Jespers playing with Wylans hair and notices a scar just behind his hairline. He asks how he got it and Wylan explains that shortly after his Mother died (but didnt die) he was really unwell with the flu and had a massive fever

He was walking down the hall towards his room to rest and his Father started talking to him so he was stood there for a while trying to listen when he eventually passes out

He smacks his head open on the floor and instead of helping him his Father just walks around him…

Wylan eventually comes to, alone on the floor with blood all down his face

Although Jan didnt cause the injury the complete lack of care and concern has Jesper fuming. Like imagine just stepping over your severely unwell, unconscious 8/9 year old as he bleeds on the floor… (all for the “crime” of not being able to read)

Wyalns just like ‘I did say you weren’t going to like this story!’

Anyway do with this what you will

[olskuvallanpoe]

me, before reading soc: “oh wow, a fun fantasy series with gay people and disability rep!”

me now: *writing fics about a boy who was chucked onto a pile of dead bodies in the middle of a harbor at age 9 and had to use his brother’s body as a raft, and also about a boy whose dad tried to kill him for being illiterate*