#xiv on his way to fuck a gardener.

[twinpainstar]

the cleonic dynasty is actually so fucking funny cause whenever they have a problem they’re like. well guess i’m out of ideas. got any ideas, guy who is also me? 

[megamuscle885-blog]

So, warhammer fantasy? Plus Worm. Lets brainstorm a bit. A non-exhaustive list of who would become champions of chaos, or be chosen by the chaos gods to become their heralds, in no particular chronological order.

Khorne: The Butcher XIV aka Quarrel.

I can see The Butcher turning rabid one awful night. Howling about an infinite ocean of blood. Slaughtering the unpowered members of the Teeth. Killing those who try to reason with her. Infecting others with her madness somehow. Most of the Teeth capes flee north to Boston and Spree's clique when they're told to run by those Teeth that were there for the slaughter. Of those that were present, maybe half maybe more, flee to the New York Protectorate, begging refuge, begging Legend to kill The Butcher before she breaks free, something like that. Incoherent babbling about how she's slathered herself in blood and is killing indiscriminately - Villains, Heroes and civilians alike - piling the skulls of those she beheads in one spot and sits upon it like a gory throne. The Teeth are reforged in The Butcher's charnel house, quenched in blood. The World Eaters. She aspires to wash the entire east coast in blood, a massive sacrifice that will bring daemons through in their millions, and she'll begin in the largest city in north america.

Nurgle: Nilbog aka The Goblin King aka James Rinke.

A particularly terrible winter's night, cold and frigid in Ellisburg, NY, James is holding one of his favourite creations, Polka III, as she dies from disease. He's trying to tell a bedtime story to the rest of the creatures, all sharing their body warmth as best they can, but the cold is making his puppet shiver and he's constantly interupted by a cough that rattles his ribs and won't go away no matter how much he clears his throat. He's in tears over the sorry state of his garden. A like-minded figure sympathizes with his plight. He begs the empty air for something to save them. Something comes. The acrid, infertile land around Ellisburg, stripped of nutrients to create his fantasy creatures suddenly begins to spring to life all around him. Strange and fantastic new fruits and berries curl out of the ground. Caramel-sweet rivers start to form. Everything is verdant and green and hot wherever he walks. His cough doesn't seem to go away, but it doesn't bother him much anymore. Polka III is alive and well. And he's suddenly struck by so many new and wonderful ideas. He goes to the carcass pits and begins to create and create and create. And his Grandfather looks on with paternal joy.

Slaanesh: Jack Slash aka Jacob Black, the Slaughterhouse 9.

This might not click for some people. Personally, I think a man for whom every new terrible torment needs to be more thrilling, more horrible, more impactful than the last fits perfectly here. I'm not entirely sure how to write his first moments though. Broadcast nudges him one way, Slaanesh nudges him another. He starts to indulge more and more. A little less careful. Broadcast's balancing act starts to slip as Slaanesh's prodding throws the relationships of the Slaughterhouse 9 into new dynamics. I might have to come back to this one, but it was one of the first I thought of.

Tzeentch: Taylor Hebert

Now who else would like to see Skitter but with birds? Fucked up mutated birds. Introducing the Raven God and his new magical apprentice. I feel myself running dry here, but I think as our nominated protagonist, Tzeentch is able to lend quite a bit of weight to Taylor's character, and her eagerness to grab onto an escape from her wretched life with both hands and take it to its extremes. Though one thing I will mention is that one of Tzeentch's aspects is as a God of Hope, and that'd be fun to play with I think. Though that's an aspect of his Fantasy version, and I tend to think of the Fantasy versions of the Chaos Gods as more interesting tbh.

[streamafterlaughter]

Fundamental Differing

Chapter XIV: Away To Nowhere Plains

nav | master list | playlist | pin board | chapter XIII

summary: a welcome home party in hawkins, a break from the whirlwind of rock n roll fame.

tags/warning: flirting, consumption of alcohol, weed, swearing, normal chill stuff nothing insane, LOTS of use of Y/n sorry guys nicknames are for couples!!!!! slow burn, mutual pining, tension as per usual

a/n: I MISSED YOU GUYS. i’m so sorry this took so long to update, i was following paramore around the east coast for a few weeks like a crazy person. should be posting waaaay more regularly now. please enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not give permission to have my work reposted on other sites. Reblogs are more than welcome, but please inform me if you find my work elsewhere unless otherwise stated. please reblog and comment to support the author!

—

December 1986

You rub the sleep from your eyes as you wake, Eddie’s pretty face slowly coming into focus. “Hey, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?” His voice is soft, soothing to your ears.

“Better this time around. I think you chased the nightmare off, I dreamt of you instead.” You weren’t planning on telling him, you blame your fatigue for the confession.

“Yeah? Was it hot?” He jokes, and you bite your bottom lip because yeah, it definitely was. “It was, wasn’t it?!” Eddie hops out of bed and starts pacing the floor. “Let me guess, we were somewhere cool, like the woods. We were camping! Yeah, and you forgot your tent, so we had to share, and bing bang boom we’re waking up the wildlife.” He looks back to you, eager for your confession.

You cackle at his guess. “Not even close, man. You were a fucking rockstar. Got up on stage at The Garden, and everyone was there for you. Kicked some fucking ass, might I add.” You leave the part where you jumped on stage out, not wanting to give Eddie any ideas for future Corroded Coffin shows.

“Can I tell you something?” He plops back down next to you, shaking the bed. “Remember the party? When you told me the band could be something, and I told you that was never really the plan?” You nod, and he sighs, “Well. I was lying. It’s been the only thing I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. What you said meant a lot to me, and I wanted to believe you, but we’d just met, and I wasn’t sure if you were being serious or if you wanted to get in my pants.” He grins, and you know he’s joking.

“It was both, obviously!” You backhand him, and he fakes being hurt. “But mostly the former, I really meant it. I do mean it! You’re talented, you’ve got a great group of friends.”. You open your arms, and he scoops you into his, wrapping his legs around your waist like a koala. He mumbles something into your neck, sounding embarrassed. “What was that?”

He removes his head from your shoulder. With his legs still curled around you, he grasps you by the shoulders, as if to steady your already unmoving frame. He looks deeply into your eyes, and though he looks exhausted, he is absolutely stunning. You fight everything in you to jump him there, forget about a night out with friends, and just ravage the boy in your arms all night instead.

“I love you.”

You swear your heart stops. In fact, you are definitely dead. You died, flew into some deluded version of Catholic Heaven where you get everything you want, no consequence. Eddie tries to read your expression, and you hope to god he can because you sure don’t know what the fuck to feel. “You don’t have to say it back, in fact, don’t. Not yet. But I mean it.”

“I-“ Eddie cuts you off with a kiss, and you let him. You close the tiny gap between his chest and yours, and kiss him to convey all the feelings your words aren’t capable of.

“Now, put on something sexy, we’re going out tonight.” Eddie rolls off of you, snatching his towel from his chair on the way out of the room.

Holy shit.

-

Your POV

“Is anyone here to pick us up?” You ask, linking your arm with Steve’s as you exit into the terminal. The airport is bustling with families on their way to Disneyworld and Martha’s Vineyard for their summer vacations, meanwhile you’re about to spend a week in one of the most traumatizing towns of your young adulthood.

“Yeah, Nance and Jonathan are- and speak of the devil!”

Nancy and Jonathan approach from the other side of your gate, and you take off running. Nance catches you in her embrace, squeezing you tightly as you fall into her arms. “Hi, baby!” You squeal, keeping your old friend close.

“Hi, honey! It’s so nice to see you!” When she lets you go, you move to hug Jonathan as Robin and Steve say their hellos. Eddie and the guys are further back, sending waves to them. Nancy doesn’t accept that, though, and throws herself into Eddie. “Hey, Ed.” She mumbles into his shoulder.

-

Eddie’s POV

“Hey, Nance. Long time.”

“Too long!” She separates herself from him and backhands his chest. “Visit more!”

Eddie scoffs. “Hey, you’re in Boston now, don’t give me that shit!”

“Sure, but I come home every summer. I know you’re big and famous, but this is still your home!”

“How is the big guy?” He’s talking about Dustin, eyes betraying a glimpse of who Eddie used to be.

“He’s good. He misses you. We didn’t tell him, or any of them actually, that you were coming.” Nancy’s shy, suddenly.

“Because we weren’t sure if you actually were.” Jonathan explains, and Eddie nods, pressing his lips together. It makes sense, he’s made plenty of empty promises to visit already, only finally pulling himself together because of you.

“But you did! You came! Both of you came, which is even crazier. But it’s great! We’re having a party tonight, Steve’s hosting, we can all drive over together.” Nancy blurts, her mind moving faster than her mouth can.

“A party?” You ask, voice raising an octave higher than it usually sits. You sound nervous.

“Well, what us casual folk consider a party. You guys will probably see it as a pathetic attempt at one.”

“Oh, please!” Steve interjects, “My parties are never pathetic. I was the king!”

Eddie groans dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, man. We know, you peaked in high school.”

“I did not.” Steve crosses his arms, and your laugh draws Eddie’s attention back to you.

“I for one would love a Hawkins style party.” You add finally, a real smile spread across your face. “It’ll be nice to see everyone.”

Nancy nods, taking your carry on from your grasp. “Great! Let’s get you settled.”

“Did you book us a hotel? Eddie asks, surprised. That’s above any level of friendship he’s had with these two specifically.

They both laugh. “A hotel? You’re staying with us!” Oh, fuck.

—

Your POV

“So, my parents happen to be away for the week you’re all here,” Nancy starts, unlocking the door to her childhood home, a building that housed many a party, many a D&D game. “so we have it to ourselves! The couches up here and downstairs, the guest room, and obviously Robin and Y/n will be sleeping with me, to catch me up on the Hollywood Gossip.” Nancy winks at you, and you smile. You’ve missed her, missed Hawkins, despite everything.

“When are the kids getting here?” You ask. You mean Max, specifically. You owe her some money. Eddie and the guys make their way downstairs before Nancy answers,

“They’re at Dustin’s, they’ll be over later today. Something about needing to catch up on the news?”

You bring your palm to your face. “Shit. I was gonna tell you over drinks, lots and lots of drinks, but uh, there’s a rumor flying around that Eddie and I are, y’know,” You trail off, fidgeting like an embarrassed child.

Nancy brings her manicured hand to her open mouth, quick to hide her pity. (It doesn’t work.) “Oh, god. Are you? Sorry, that was rude. How are you handling it?”

You laugh, unfazed by her curiosity. “I don’t really know what we are right now,”

“So you’re something?” She smirks.

You roll your eyes. “We’ll always be something.”

She shrugs, a truce. “What are you gonna tell them? Tell Dustin? You know how he gets.”

You shake your head. “That’s Eddie’s problem.”

Nancy chirps a laugh, placing your suitcase at the end of her bed, and Robin’s backpack beside it. “Fair enough. But didn’t Max bet you the break up wouldn’t last?”

You snort, “Yeah, I owe the kid fifty bucks.”

“If I’d known we were putting money on it, I’d be freaking rich!” Robin teases, and you try to smother your grin. She’s right, she’d been betting on you and Eddie reconciling for the past two years.

“Sorry, Bob. Ya snooze, ya lose!”

“Speaking of snoozing, I need a nap before this party. Pretty sure I broke my neck on the plane.”

-

Nancy rouses you and Robin from your slumbers gently, shaking your shoulders while whispering that “It’s time to get up, rockstars!” The time on her old alarm clock blinks 4:15PM, both you and Robin had slept the day away. You take your time getting up, stretching your limbs slowly as your eyes adjust to the sunlight, streaming through the blinds. Your stomach growls loudly, and Nancy chuckles. “Pizza’s on the way! We’ll eat before we go to Steve’s. For now, though, go get dressed. Remember your bathing suits!” She’s in Mom mode, taking care of you and Robin while running around like a crazy person.

You dig through your suitcase, coming up empty handed. “I don’t have a bathing suit.”

Robin rolls her eyes. “Yes you do!” She takes your suitcase from you, pulling out the skimpy bikini from beneath your piles of clothing. It’s black with cherries on it, and teeny tiny. You bite your lip in embarrassment. It’s a cute bikini, but it’s super inappropriate to be wearing around the kids.

Robin seems to read your mind, though. “They’re all adults now, y/n. You don’t need to walk around in a mumu. Plus,” she wiggles her eyebrows teasingly, “we both know who’ll love this number.”

You groan, snatching the fabric from her grip. “Fine! But you have to wear your yellow one. I’m not gonna be the only one walking around almost-naked.”

She giggles, agreeing. “Doesn’t bother me!” She finds her suit in her backpack and leaves the room to let you change.

-

Eddie’s POV

“So, why are we staying here if we’re having the party at your place?” Eddie asks before biting into his pizza.

“Because Nancy insisted on staying here, but she can’t host a party to save her life. Plus, I have a pool.”

“Your parents have a pool. You live in a tiny apartment in Seattle with two other people.”

Steve shoves Eddie’s shoulder. “Man, shut up. At least I have friends to live with.” Eddie’s face falls, and Steve notices immediately. “I’m sorry. That was too far.”

He shrugs. “It’s alright, you’re not exactly wrong.” He’s glad he’s not home right now, it gets lonely there. The thought of seeing all of his friends again, though, is still overwhelming him. He has no idea what he’ll say to Dustin, or worse, what Dustin will say to him.

Before Eddie can panic further, though, you and Robin enter the kitchen. You’re in shorts and a tight black t-shirt, the strings of your bikini visible underneath. Your short hair is clipped to keep it out of your face, the vibrant color having faded since the beginning of the tour. You send a small smile his way, melting Eddie’s insecurities, even temporarily. He can’t seem to peel his eyes from you as you walk over to the counter, helping yourself to a slice of pizza. He has to fight the urge to walk over to you, wrap his arms around your waist, rest his head on your shoulder. It practically pains him, when you’re out of his reach.

“Eds?” You snap him out of his trance, waving a hand in front of him.

“What?” He shakes his head, as if to rid the image from his brain. “Sorry.”

You grin shyly, and Eddie could melt at the sight. “I asked if you’re ready to go?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m all set.”

Your smile widens, and you hold your hand out for him. He takes it, expecting you to drag him out to the car, but you pull him hooking, hooking your arm around his. “Okay, then. Shall we?”

He can feel the eyes of the room on the pair of you, his cheeks warming. You don’t seem to notice, only looking up at him, your eyes shiny and warm.

-

Mere hours later, Steve’s parents’ house is full and loud, music bumping through the surround sound speakers. Eddie’s in the kitchen nursing a beer when Dustin enters. He’s grown taller and more muscular since the last time Eddie’s seen him, and the beginnings of a beard pepper his face, making him look more like a man than the last time he’d seem the boy. Susie’s on his arm, smiling kindly when she meets Eddie’s eyes. “You wanna drink, Dusty?” She asks sweetly, and Dustin nods. She exits the kitchen, leaving the boys alone.

“What’s up, Dusty?” Eddie tries to joke, extending his hand for Dustin to shake. He swats it away, instead pulling Eddie into a much needed hug.

“Hey, Eddie.” His greeting is muffled by Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie returns the hug without shame, wrapping his arms around Dustin’s shoulders. The two stay like that, long lost brothers seeing each other for the first time in years.

“Missed you, man.” Eddie finally says when Dustin breaks the hug, holding Eddie at arm’s length. “You're lookin’ great.”

“I’ve been hittin’ the gym a little, check this out,” Dustin flexes a bicep, the beginnings of muscle protruding from his arm. Eddie chuckles, nodding an approval.

When the small talk dies, neither speaks at first, unsure of where to take the conversation besides the elephant in the room. “How’s tour treating you?” Dustin finally asks, taking a seat at the kitchen island. Susie returns with two sodas, handing one to Dustin and sipping the other.

Eddie shrugs, taking another sip of his beer. “It’s been alright, pretty standard stuff.”

Dustin chuckles, and the sound is deeper than Eddie’s used to. “Standard, huh? Touring with the ex love of your life?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Right to the point, huh?”

“Obviously, man! I haven’t seen you in years, and the one time you come back, it’s with all this new information I’m not aware of! You know I hate being out of the loop!”

“I know, and I owe you a lot of information. Trust me, I wanna tell you everything,” Before Eddie can continue, you’re stumbling into the kitchen, giggling drunkenly with Robin as you wobble to the coolers in the corner.

“Hi, boys! Oh my god, it can’t be. Is that Dustin freaking Henderson?!” You gasp dramatically, pulling a big smile from Dustin as he approaches you. You swing your arms around his neck, having to get on tiptoes now to reach him. He wraps his arms around you, and you sway as you hug him tightly.

“Hey, Y/n.” He greets warmly, then releases you to hug Robin with the same welcoming arms. “Hi, Bob.”

“Hey, buddy.” Robin hums, rubbing Dustin’s back as she hugs him closely.

“Sorry to interrupt, I know you guys have a lot of catching up to do. But we’re about to play chicken, and I need a partner.” You look from Dustin to where Eddie is, leaning against the counter, opening his fourth beer of the night.

“What, me?”

You roll your eyes. “Obviously, silly. C’mon! It’ll be fun.” You’re wasted, eyes glazed over and posture loose. It’s impossible to say no to you.

“I’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay!” You sing, hooking your arm through Robins again. The two of you exit the kitchen, into the back yard. Eddie can’t look away as you peel your shirt over your head, revealing a tiny black bikini top.

“You haven’t changed a bit, Munson.” Dustin taunts as Eddie pulls his stare from your silhouette.

“What are you talking about?”

“Seriously? You can’t tell me that is how friends look at each other,” He mimicks Eddie, staring open mouthed at the wall, eyes wide and unblinking. “It’s pathetic!”

“This is why I haven’t come back here, Henderson.” Eddie teases, backhanding the kid’s stomach. “Can’t deal with your know-it-all bullshit.”

Dustin snorts a laugh. “Hey, man, I'm just callin’ it like I see it.”

-

Your POV

You dip your toes into the cool water while you wait, letting the feeling contrast with the alcohol induced warmth of your body. You feel a presence sit next to you, another pair of feet meeting yours under the water.

“Hey, kiddo.” You greet her, leaning your head on her shoulder.

“What’s up, big shot?” Max leans her head on yours, her way of hugging you without committing to it. She looks the same, despite being a little taller, and maybe her hair’s gotten a little longer.

“Oh, y’know. Same old.”

She snorts. “Word on the street is you owe me some money.”

You groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll get that to you this week. Nice to see you, too.”

“Hey! It is nice to see you! I haven’t in a while, I’m sorry.” Max wraps her arms around your shoulders. “I missed you, y’know.”

“I missed you too, Maxie. How are things?”

“They’re alright. I don’t live here anymore, that’s a big plus.”

“Oh yeah?”

She nods. “Moved out after college, got a place in the city with Lucas. I’ll show you some time this week maybe?”

You nod. “For sure.”

“But enough about my endeavors, how are you? Y’know, with all this shit going on?”

You shake your head. “I dunno, dude. Weird, I guess. Everything’s weird.”

“I take it you and Eddie aren’t officially back together, then?”

“Not exactly. But not, not together. Does that make sense?”

“Not at all. Good to see you two haven’t changed too much.”

You giggle, nudging her shoulder with yours. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, c’mon! You two used to dance around the idea of dating before you started. You think we didn’t notice? I was fifteen, not stupid! It took you so much time to admit you liked each other, then even more time to figure out you needed to break up. Now here we are again, watching Eddie and Y/n tiptoe around their feelings for each other.”

You sigh, the alcohol not letting you fully grasp what she’s saying. “I hate when you’re right.”

She grins smugly. “I know, and I’m sorry. It happens a lot.”

Before you can respond, Eddie throws the screen door open. “Who’s ready to play some chicken?” He’s very drunk, but not in the sad and angry way you’re used to seeing him lately.

Max gives you another grin, and you roll your eyes before getting to your feet. “You’re in for it now, team Scoops.” You point across the pool, where Robin and Steve stand in their bathing suits discussing strategy. Eddie shoves his pants to the ground, revealing a too small pair of swim trunks you're sure have belonged to him since freshman year. He tugs his shirt over his head, discarding it with his pants in the grass. You do your best not to stare at the tattoos scattered on his torso, littering his arms. You refuse to look further than his chest, not risking even a glance at his waist, his hips. Instead of gawking like you want to, you pay close attention to undoing the button of your cutoff shorts, shimmying out of them and tossing them onto the chair beside you.You’re completely exposed, standing only in the tiniest bikini you own because it was the only one you could find before leaving.

As much as you don’t want to draw his attention, the feeling of Eddie’s eyes on your body surges your confidence. Without looking back, you get into the pool, taking each step slowly to adjust to the temperature. It’s fairly warm, and you say a quick thank you prayer. You definitely cannot be walking around with pointy nips right now. Eddie wades in behind you, splashing you in his wake, steps clumsy. Once he’s settled, he turns to face you, squatting so the water reaches his chest.

“You ready, sweetheart?” You try not to seem fazed by his slip. He stopped calling you that after you broke up, and the only times he has since then, he’s apologized for it. Now, though, with his guard down and his judgment obscured, he smirks at you like he knows what he’s just done. You pretend you don’t get it.

“Sure thing, Munson.” No pretty boy, not even this drunk. He’s not yours, not now.

If he notices, he doesn’t let it show, keeping the same expression as he motions you forward. You’ve done this hundreds of times, over the course of the few summers you had in Hawkins. You and Eddie used to drive over on Fridays and stay the weekend with Rob, Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan, babysitting the kids and enjoying your time as immature adults while you still could. It feels the same, even after all those years have passed, you’re still in the same small town, with the same group of friends, playing the same stupid games. You climb onto his shoulders, and try not to react when his hands grasp tightly on each thigh, locked on either side of his head.

“Alright, listen up!” Dustin has gathered the rest of your friends beside the pool, while scattered guests you barely remember from your semester in high school crowd around to spectate. “This is Drown The Chicken. The first person to fall off of their partner loses. There will be three rounds, each one five minutes. A shot of liquor will be taken by the loser after each round. If both opponents fail to knock the other off of their partner, a tiebreaker will take place. Today, the tie breaker will be…” He pauses for dramatic effect, and Mike takes the opportunity to slap his legs in a drumroll. “A shotgun race!” The whole backyard cheers, and you groan. The worst thing about these kids being in college, is that they’re too young to realize drinking is not the only thing adults do. It is one of the most fun, though.

“Both members of each team will shotgun a malt beverage of their choosing. First one to finish wins the tiebreaker for their team, and therefore the round! At the end, the losers will have to drink a shot of the winners’ choosing!” The four of you nod in understanding. Regardless, you know you’ll have to drink at some point. “On your mark, get set, GO!” Will clicks his timer, and the party guests start cheering, egging you on. You hear shouts of, “I’ve got ten on Munson and L/n!” and “Kick his ass!” and Robin reaches for you suddenly, catching you off guard. The music is cranked through the speakers, giving the match a soundtrack of Pixies’ Here Comes Your Man. Steve wades toward you, Robin clutching a handful of his precious hair to keep her balance. You take advantage of his winces of “Ouch, Rob, not the hair!” and shove, sending Robin almost entirely backwards. Steve catches her at the last second, wobbling as he tries to keep her out of the water.

“Lucky shot!” Robin shouts, stretching her arms out toward you. You lean back, and Eddie catches you, gripping your thighs tightly on his shoulders. He moves with you, saving your equilibrium, and you stretch towards Robin. The two of you tangle your arms, while the boys below you swat at each other, hurling meaningless insults and taunts. Finally, you gain the advantage, shoving Robin’s shoulder with enough force to send her backwards, slipping quickly from Steve’s grasp. She splashes into the water, submerged up to her neck. “Shit.”

“That’s one for team Hellfire!” Dustin claps his hands loudly as he hands your opponents each a shot, and you giggle as Robin struggles to climb back onto Steve’s back, their skin now slippery with pool water.

“Nice moves.” Eddie cranes his neck, and you meet his eyes. His face is soft with intoxication, his guard lowered. Yours is higher than ever, though, and you look away before he can reel you in any further.

“Round two!” You repeat the motions, this time while Smells Like Teen Spirit blares from the radio, and your former classmates yelling and cheering for their preferred team. Robin catches you by surprise, kicking one of your knees enough to throw you off balance, then shoving you to the side. You topple off of Eddie’s shoulders, into the cool water. You stay there for a second, keeping your eyes closed to avoid looking at Eddie’s surely disappointed expression.

But when you dare to peek through one eye, the other still tightly shut, he’s smiling at you. Not his usual toothy grin, the one he gives to his friends. His smile is soft, lips pressed together as if to stop them from quivering with a rogue giggle.

He’s drunk, you remind yourself. You have to remember he’s drunk.

“What now, Munson?!” Steve sends a splash at Eddie, and he scoffs in mock disgust.

“Boys, please, you’ll have plenty of time to play mermaids after Eddie and I kick your ass.” Eddie giggles as you climb his back, repositioning yourself on top of him. It’s more difficult, now that both of you are soaked from the neck down. Dustin hands you both a shot, Eddie’s whiskey and yours vodka, and you both down them easily.

“Final round, people! This round wins it all! See Max to confirm your bets. Are the teams ready?” The four of you give variations of a confirmation, and Dustin shouts, once again, “On your mark… get set… GO!” You square your body to hold better balance, as Eddie and Steve approach each other slowly. Eddie’s hands grip your thighs tightly, and you hope he can’t feel the heat growing between your legs. Not now.

You continue to dodge and dance around each other, narrowly missing one another as you swing your limbs, stretching and reaching for Robin as Eddie tries to sneak around Steve’s guard. After five long minutes, Dustin startles you with the newly found volume in his voice. “TIME’S UP! WE HAVE A TIE!” You can hear the conflicting emotions of the crowd, probably correlating to their own predictions. “Y’all know what that means!” The four of you sulk as you leave the water, defeated by the dreaded tie breaker.

Lucas passes you each a can and a miscellaneous tool to puncture it with. You’ve barely grown to like beer, even after months of being surrounded by it, but it’s the only thing available that you’re physically able to shotgun. You’ve chosen a Red Stripe, in honor of your teammate.

“The rules of the tiebreaker are as follows: You will puncture your can when I say go, and you will chug for thirty seconds before opening the top. The first person to finish their beverage wins the tiebreaker for their team. Got it?” Eddie groans a confirmation, while you and Robin nod and Steve taps each side of his face lightly to psych himself out. Dustin counts you off again, and you each stab your cans, quickly rushing the liquid into your mouth. Will counts from 30 out loud as he watches the timer, and the crowd is eerily quiet, focused on the race in front of them.

“30! Crack ‘em open!” You do as you’re told, quickly snapping the tab of the can to relieve the pressure. You can tell you’re slowing down, grossed out by the bread flavored piss water sliding down your throat. Luckily, though, Eddie is devouring his own, his head tilted to make sure he’s getting all of it. The feeling between your legs has returned, and you quickly shoot your gaze to Robin, who’s also struggling to finish her beer. In reality, this is a race between Steve and Eddie, winner takes all. All in this case is bragging rights, and probably a horrible hangover.

Eddie is the first to finish, lifting the can above his head in celebration. Thank god, too, because you definitely shouldn’t consume another shot.

“We have a winner!” Dustin runs between you and Eddie, hoisting each of your wrists to the air as the backyard guests cheer and boo and yell. You chance another look in Eddie’s direction, admiring his whoops of victory as he high fives his bandmates.

_

Eddie’s POV

It’s 3AM as the party starts to die, and people he’d never spoken to in high school approach him to say their goodbyes. Eddie is pulled into hugs, handshakes, and conversations with his former bullies, and girls that never looked at him twice. Though his eighteen year old self would be relishing in this sudden change, he’s tired. He knows it’s not real, that none of these people even care about his art. They care that he’s famous, and that they know someone famous. But the only person in this room that knows him is behind him, falling asleep on the basement sofa.

“Hey, Y/n?” Eddie is finally able to approach you, after breaking away from another pointless conversation. “You wanna get going?”

Your eyes slide to his face, glassy and warm with inebriation. “Aw, you’re leaving?” You pout, staring up at him, and he could melt. You’d been talking about going home not five minutes ago, but it’s clear your brain has stalled.

“Only if you wanna. We can stay as long as you want.”

“I can come with you?”

He can't help but laugh, you’re so cute like this, so soft. “Of course you can.”

“I thought you were sick of me.” Your face slips slightly, lips twitching into a frown.

“What?” Eddie shifts so his whole body faces you. “I could never be sick of you.”

You shrug, clearly not understanding the gravity of his words. “I dunno, we’ve been in close quarters since tour started, I don’t mind giving you space if you need it.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to feel his own drunken insecurity surface. “Are you sick of me?” It’s barely a whisper, but you hear him.

Your eyes widen quickly, shocked at his words. “No! Eddie, of course not.”

“Okay, good.” He flashes you what he knows is an unconvincing smile. “You wanna go home?”

You shake your head. “Can we go for a walk?”

-

Predictably, you end up back at Hawkins High, the parking lot pitch black in the buzz of a summer night. Even looking at it, Eddie feels the chill of his memories washing over him. This is where he was stuck for six years, where Steve had shoved him into a locker their freshman year, where Jason Carver had made his final senior year miserable. It is the building that harbors Eddie’s darkest thoughts, where the seed of his shame had sprouted from. Where he had to deal with Chrissy’s death, and being framed for it.

But it was also where he met you. Where he’d introduced you to some of his closest friends, where he sat with you at lunch every day, dancing around each other until after midterms. As much as Eddie still hates to admit it, and as horrendously tacky as it sounds, high school is where he’d fallen in love.

Eddie lets his eyes wander in the darkness, knowing you won’t catch him in your hazy state. Your arms hang limply by your sides as you stare up at the school building, seeming to admire it. He wonders how being here must make you feel, as someone that left as soon as they could. It hadn’t been easy for you either, restarting your entire social life in your senior year.

“Do you ever miss it?” Your words catch him off guard, your voice almost inaudible even in the quiet.

“Hell no,” He scoffs, and feels you shift beside him. “I spent way too much extra time here to even think of missing it.”

“Okay, maybe not the actual, physical place. But, don't you miss how easy it was?”

“You’re joking, right? We fought an underground of Hell Monsters, Y/n, that wasn’t what I’d call easy.”

You groan, and he chuckles at your drunken frustration. “Christ, okay, I mean how small our world was, before all that hell monster shit. We didn’t have to worry about people outside of Hawkins, outside of the little bubble of our friends.”

“And you miss that?” He’s genuinely curious. You had always been looking to move, spread out beyond the small town your parents dragged you to. He never expected you to miss it.

You shrug. “Sometimes, yeah. Despite everything that happened, I was happy here. I had a home.”

Eddie’s vision blurs with the implication of your words. Of course, you’d had a physical home, but you'd also had him. And Steve, Robin, Nance, the kids. You’d never had a solid friend group in Boston.

“I miss parts of it,” He finally confesses, turning his head to fully look at you again. “Some more than others.”

You look for him, finding his eyes easily in the dark, and he adjusts quickly to see you better.

“You think things will ever be that easy again?” There’s a hint of optimism in your voice, and it begs him to join it, just for a second.

“I really, really hope so.”

-

Your POV

Somehow, you and Eddie find your way back to Steve’s, tiptoeing clumsily through the front door to a mass of passed out Hawkins alum. Steve is sprawled on the couch, while Dustin and Mike are on the floor beside him. In the basement, Will and El are cleaning the empty bottles and red solo cups from the absolutely destroyed basement, bobbing and weaving around members of Corroded Coffin and DDA, and they inform you Lucas and Max have gone back to Nancy’s already. Upstairs, the rest of your friends are in respective bedrooms, sleeping to prepare for their unavoidable hangovers.

“There’s one room left.” Eddie leads the way to Steve’s parents’ bedroom, the only one left untouched by party guests.

You peel the heavy comforter back, shimmying off your shorts, so tired and so absolutely plastered at this point, you don’t realize he’s watching as you untie your bikini top, letting it fall to the floor.

“Whoa! Um,” Eddie spins himself to face the window, losing his balance as he does. Even though he can’t see you, he still smacks his hands over his eyes. “I, uh, I’m gonna go find a spot on the floor.” He begins to sidestep towards the door, still refusing to look at you without a top on.

“Eddie,” You know the alcohol is making you flirty, and you’ll probably regret this tomorrow, but fuck it. You’re on vacation. You tug on Eddie’s shoulder, turning him to face you. He keeps his eyes glued to your face, barely blinking, definitely not letting them wander. “Stay here.”

He clears his throat, wincing. “Y/n,” Your pout cuts him off. “What’s that face for?”

“It’s weird, hearing my name out of your mouth. It was always sweetheart. Or baby, or pretty, or love. Now I’m just Y/n.” Your words slur together, exhaustion taking hold. You let your fingers dance up his bare arm, his shirt still somewhere in Steve’s yard. Still not daring to move his eyes from your face, he has an answer almost immediately.

“You’re not just Y/n, you’re Y/n! The Y/n, actually, a songwriting, vocalizing, rockstar badass. I’ve seen it firsthand.”

“Well then, the Y/n wants the Eddie Munson in bed with them.” It’s a bold choice of words, but you don’t care. You need him right now, even through the thick fog of the liquor.

“I want to, you have no idea how badly i want to, Y/n, I promise you that,”

“Then why won’t you?”

“Because I shouldn’t. I can’t.” He’s blunt. There is no arguing, he’s made up his mind.

And still, you prod him with inquiries. “Is it because we’re drunk? Because I trust you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, Ed.”

He sighs, his hand finally moving to caress your burning cheek. “It’s because we’re drunk, but not because I'm scared of hurting you. I can’t let our first time together in two years be something you’ll regret tomorrow, but I also can’t chance either of us forgetting it.” He says it quietly, like he’s had the volume on himself turned down. You’ve heard him anyway, but it takes you a second to digest what he’s said.

“Okay,” You accept his answer, and before he can turn to leave you add, “Can you just sleep next to me?”

Eddie hesitates for a second, searching your expression. He must find an answer, because he nods. “Okay, sweetheart. But I gotta have you put a shirt on. For my own sake.”

You giggle, the satisfaction of hearing your nickname making you malleable to his words, nodding in agreement. Eddie exits the bedroom, and returns a bit later with a piece of fabric in his hand. His shirt. Of course it’s his shirt, what was he gonna do, give you Steve’s to sleep in?

You’re surrounded by his smell, his warmth, instantaneously. You crawl into the king sized bed, pulling the covers up to your chin. You hear Eddie’s pants drop to the floor, before he climbs into bed, hoisting the covers to slide underneath them. You scoot back, and he knows now to wrap his arm around your waist, without the weird hesitation and awkward shuffling before you give up for the sake of comfort. Eddie rests his face behind your neck, the warm exhale of breath tickling your skin.

“Goodnight, baby.” He mumbles into the fabric of your-slash-his shirt, and your body vibrates with glee.

“Goodnight, baby.”

-

tag list: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @wiildflower-xxx @beebeerockknot @champagne-glamour @xxgothwhorexx @therensistance @chonkzombie @brxkenartt @sidthedollface2 @gaysludge @poisonedluv @eddiesguitarskills @kellsck | send a message to be added🫶

[sunbeasts]

@malefic-xiv Made me post this gay thing I wrote about Tak going through some trauma shit. Here it is with no context.

Tak let that reassuring smile fade as soon as Frey left. He had done it, he was fairly sure. Had at least been convincing. He had almost slipped a few times when emotions ran high, but he supposed it wouldn't have been particularly convincing if he -had- just seemed completely unphased. And so there he stood, in the middle of Frey's sitting room, completely lost and staring at the floor. Wilted.  

Part of him was screaming that this was a mistake. This was how he was going to lose Frey. They would slip away from him- already -were- slipping. The logical part of him knew that he was actually more likely to lose Frey if he -couldn’t- make it through this, but knowing that was of little comfort.Tail flicking with stress, he turned and headed for the stairs, taking the little secret aetheryte back to the hinterlands house. He was entirely alone there. No one but him and the turtle. The turtle wouldn’t begrudge him a breakdown.  

"There's no point in stressing. Not when there hasn't been a call yet." He murmured to himself, though his own words did little to soothe his nerves. Scratching at those track marks on his arm, he headed up the stairs and out through the bolted front door. He did hesitate as he set foot into the garden, his gaze wandering up to the tall mountains in the distance. 

It hit him, then. That urge he had to run away when things got too hard. He could feel it now, the pull to flee and disappear. Just fucking run until his legs gave out. Maybe it would be better if he did? Then, at least, his problems wouldn't be such a burden on Frey.  His tail lashed again, still standing in the garden. He couldn't actually do it, obviously. He wanted to run, but he wanted to be selfish and stay with Frey just a little bit more. He just had no idea what to do with all that leftover hurt. 

Turning, he climbed up the stone wall on the outside of the building, up to the roof of the house. It wasn't night yet, but the sun was starting to lower and soon the stars would be out. He sat hugging his knees, curled in on himself and letting his forehead rest against them. 

He really had no one that he could go to when he was feeling this way. No friends who knew what was going on, or likely even cared enough to offer support. No best friend to rely on, like what Cor had described. Not even Frey could help him, or hold onto him through this. Not while they were away. Sitting there in that setting sun, it had been a long time since he'd felt quite so keenly alone. No one could actually help him through this.

He choked back a little sob, tail curling around his ankles. He hated that he felt that way, that he was so damaged that he could no longer deal with things he'd always considered normal. He knew the cause, of course, but -why- was it so fucking hard? He couldn't help but want to tear at those wounds, let them bleed, make himself hurt. Maybe this was all for the best. Frey would suddenly feel better about social things, and they'd be back to making friends like normal.

They could leave him behind.  He was likely never going to be normal again. Part of him was very resigned to that. What if he really did just never feel okay about anything? He had always tried to sound sure that he could get there. Reassured that it’d just take time. But the truth was that he had no idea. "There's no point in stressing until they call." He murmured quietly into his knees, a little mantra for himself. His arm itches terribly, and he had to stop himself from scratching it bloody. Frey would definitely notice something like that. He wanted to go back and get the blue. He was so stressed out that he needed a fix. Yet… he felt like he had something important to prove. That he had to make it through the first time on his own. Else Frey may never believe that things could be alright. His nails dug into his arm, but he was careful not to break the skin. There really was no option but to go through it sober. His heart already felt like it was aching, and nothing had even happened. “There’s no point in stress-” He started, but was cut off by the sound of Frey’s voice connecting directly to his pearl. He completely froze up, dread washing over him as he quietly answered. “...Yeah?” Hearing that Frey was on their way home gave him so much relief that he felt guilty for it. Why did it have to be like that? Why couldn’t he just feel fine for real? He took a long, deep breath. “I’ll see you when you get in. I told you everything would be fine, didn’t I?” He reassured, already climbing down to head back to the clinic. His nerves were absolutely shot. 

[skylanyx]

Hi hi!

I know you’ve probably read my blog description lol all jokes aside, my real name isn’t Skyla Nyx. But since I don’t particularly enjoy giving away my personal information on the World Wide Web, I decided to use my FFXIV character’s name… since this is, after all, an FFXIV page (as well as a gaming blog, but mostly FFXIV).

So, since I started this thing I decided I should share a bit about me:

Name:

Skyla Nyx

Age:

27 (soon to be 28 next Friday!)

Pronouns:

She/Her

Do I have any pets:

I do! I have a Maine Coon named Castiel. He’s the best little gaming buddy a girl could ask for ❤️

Favorite Games:

Final Fantasy XIV (First started playing April 21st, 2023. I have quickly logged over 1000 hours on steam and still play every single day despite finishing MSQ twice now. I hope to write a post soon all about my journey with FFXIV. I can easily say Square and FFXIV, especially YoshiP, have saved my life in ways I am unable to describe.)

Persona 5 Royal (This game is just phenomenal in every way. The day I got my steam deck, which was the day before my 27th birthday ((received it on 8/24/2022 and my birthday is on 8/25)) I have always been haunted by this beautiful story and it’s characters. This game, much like FFXIV, has the best writing I’ve ever experienced in modern day fiction.)

Baldur’s Gate 3 (I’ve had this game since it’s early days in Early Access on my steam deck but only just started it at launch. I hope to write a review on it as soon as I finish it but I’m currently still exploring the story of Faerun with my Druid Tiefling. 💜)

Red Dead Redemption 2 (If you have ever played this game… you’ll know why it’s in my top ten list.)

Nier Automata (Same explanation as the game before it.)

Assassins Creed Odyssey (This game captures the epitome, the essence if you will, of a badass bitch.

Witcher 3 Wild Hunt (Hands down of the best fantasy/action RPG’s to ever be released. This was CD Projekt Red’s ultimate video game. It’s truly such a shame that they tragically destroyed their own reputation with a single game after their success with the Witcher.)

Dragon Age Inquisition (Only played a few hours but I absolutely adore the MMO feel to it. And the freedom you have with your own character.)

Dragon Quest Builders 2 (MINECRAFT BUT WITH AN ACTUAL AMAZING FUCKING STORY. That’s all. 😂)

Stardew Valley (Let’s just say if you were to ever build a farm with me? I will annihilate you in fishing and get us filthy rich. Mark my words.)

Garden Paws (The cutest farming game with SO MUCH YOU CAN DO. And you can do it as a KITTY.)

Favorite Movies/Shows:

Schindlers List

MCU Saga

Attack on Titan

Nier Automata

Persona 5

Demon Slayer

Signs

The Last Shift

Supernatural (DESTIEL IS CANON BITCHES. Stay mad. 😈)

The Last Exorcism

Conjuring/Insidious Saga

The Umbrella Acadmey

Good Omens

Hobby:

Gaming. I have always had a controller or portable system in my hand for as long as I can remember. I think I was 4 years old when I got my Gameboy. Ever since… I’ve been a GaMeR lol I hope to one day start writing reviews once I figure out what exactly I should look for in order to analyze for my first review. Maybe I’ll even do so here!

Anyway. There’s just a little bit about me to hopefully make some friends with similar interests!

[radiorenjun]

I Don't Need It

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Warnings: mental breakdowns, heartbreak, rejection, major angst, arguments, flashbacks, physical injuries, fighting, underaged drinking, panic attacks, mentions of death, slight mentions of druGS?, terribly written i dont rlly like this chapt.

• Wordcount : 6.1 k

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: XIII, XIV

Life had many pros and cons, but people always preferred to see the bright side of it. As they say one of the best feelings in the world was the feeling you get when you found your soulmate, your other half. You had heard a countless amount of stories about it in your youth. Mainly from your grandmother. But sadly, you were one of the unfortunate souls who couldn’t experience the feeling for too long.

 Your sixteenth birthday was supposed to be filled with joy and excitement. But the moment you saw the ink starting to form on your wrist as soon as you blew your candles caused your heart to weigh down in your chest. At that moment, you remembered the feeling of shock and slight disappointment when you realised you had the same soulmate tattoo as Jaemin.

You remembered standing still in the middle of the room, surrounded by your friends and family who eagerly surrounded you to see your new soulmate tattoo as you entered a midlife crisis on the spot. How your mind turned messy with thoughts as your anxiety got the best of you.

‘My tattoo is the same as Jaemin’s. Jaemin is my soulmate?’

‘Oh god, but he doesn’t want to have a soulmate chosen for him. He wants to find his own love and experience the feeling of slowly falling for someone, I can’t possibly take that wish away from him, right?’

‘I’m his best friend, for pete’s sakes! He’s never going to treat me or look at me the same way again.’

‘This is really ironic. Grandma, you really got what you wanted, huh?’ 

The whole situation was almost laughable to you. Oh how your grandmother would probably be doing somersaults in her place if she was here to witness this miracle. But alas, that moment you just wanted to turn into stone on the spot. You wanted time to stop. You knew very well that there was a possibility that you won’t be experiencing that life changing feeling your grandmother always rambles about. 

Though, you had some hope that maybe. Just maybe, Jaemin would be okay with having you as his soulmate. Maybe he would be happy to find out that his childhood best friend, the person who knows him better than his own family, was his soulmate. Maybe life would give you some mercy and decided that Jaemin would change his mind and you would end up living happily ever after.

‘Come on, he would definitely be glad to find out that someone close to him was his soulmate, right?’ 

‘I know him like the back of my hand, surely he would be ecstatic to see that we have the same soulmate tattoo!’

‘I’m sure of it!’

‘Grandma said that there’s nothing better than the feeling of finding your soulmate’

‘He’s your best friend, he wouldn’t be disappointed to see that you ended up as his soulmate, right?’

‘You’ll still get that feeling of happiness you’ve been longing to feel for so long, right y/n?’

Of course, you were only getting your hopes up.

When you turned to Jaemin, who was peeking over your shoulder at your wrist to see your tattoo, the look on his face was enough to push your hopes down to the floor. You honestly couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. But it definitely wasn’t anything along the lines of happiness.

‘What’s that look for, Jaem?’

‘Surprised? Definitely. Disappointment? Pretty clear. Sadness? Yep, it was there alright. Misery? Despair? Probably.’

You couldn’t show anyone your sadness though, you had to keep a bright smile until the day was over if you didn’t want to worry anyone. When Jaemin’s eyes met yours, he, too, was surprised to see your calm reaction. The sad smile you gave him was enough to silence him for the rest of the party. 

It was quite painful when the rest of your friends and family decided to bombard you with questions of who you might think your soulmate could be. Not wanting to make things more awkward, you just tried your best to answer those questions without showing how upset you were with a simple shrug with Jaemin avoiding your eyes for the rest of the day.

At that moment you didn’t know how much pain you’d be in all because of your stupid soulmate mark.

One of the most hurtful things you’ve ever experienced was watching your friends and relatives find their own soulmates with the look of pure happiness stretched across their faces as you stand there with Jaemin by your side with a smile masking your faces and misery glossing over your eyes.

The one that always stuck to you was that time during Christmas. 

It had been a few months since you found out you and Jaemin were soulmates and not much has changed other than your obnoxious flirting and affection towards him. Jaemin had grown less and less affectionate as time passed by. He was no longer attacking you with surprise hugs or giving you cuddles during your movie nights.

You could feel your friendship tearing apart with every step you take, it was hopeless, you didn’t know what to do. You wanted to stop before you ruin your relationship completely, you wanted to stop making things so awkward between you, you wanted everything to stop hurting. You wanted to stop feeling hurt all the time. 

But at the same time, you couldn’t. You feared that once you stop, you’ll give up completely and you were scared that maybe if you stopped, you won’t have the courage to talk to Jaemin anymore. You were scared once you stopped you wouldn’t have the energy left to bare with the pain talking to him brought you. You were scared you’d give everything up.

And you were scared if it did happen, you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself anymore.

They say the moments you spend with your soulmate should be one of the best moments of your life. Was the pain you felt all this time really worth it? Isn’t this kind of toxic? 

Your friend, Yiren, from another town had come to visit you over the holidays to spend some quality time with you. Your parents allowed her to spend the night at yours for Christmas while her parents finished their business in some other town. At that time, you and your other friends decided to hang out at the mall, asking her to tag along so they could meet her.

Yiren was an out-going person, just like you, therefore she got along very well with most of your friends. But when Chanhee finally arrived at the garden you were supposed to meet up at, you couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when you witnessed such an endearing moment between your two friends.

“Hey guys! I’m so sorry I’m late, my brother needed help closing up the shop!” Chanhee exclaimed, waving as he ran towards you. “You loser, just be grateful you have amazing friends who were willing to buy tickets 3 hours early,” Hyunjin clicked his tongue, slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulder who let out a loud laugh. 

“Whatever you say, Hwang Hyunjin.” Chanhee stuck his tongue out teasingly at the boy. “Oh! Chanhee! I got my friend from Busan to tag along with us, I just want her to have more friends here, you don’t mind right?” you asked, slumping down on your seat. “That’s cool, where is she? Actually, where are the other girls?” Chanhee nodded, cocking his head to the side to find the other girls.

“The others went to buy some drinks for us. Don’t worry I made sure to make them order something for you,” Jaemin responded, scrolling through his phone casually. “Why didn’t you join them?” Chanhee asked, turning to you. You let out a wide, nervous smile, letting out small awkward laughs. “She wanted to stick beside me,” Jaemin huffed, trying his best not to roll his eyes out of annoyance.

“Whipped, I see,” he chuckled, watching you cross your arms against your chest before giving him a teasing glare. “You’ll understand once you actually find your soulmate, Chan. I can’t expect you to understand,” you joked in a rather arrogant tone, putting a hand under your chin as you grinned cheekily at your friend.

“It’s not that he doesn’t understands, Y/n. It’s just the fact that you’re really questionable,” Jaemin mumbled under his breath, earning a glare from you. “You two really are a questionable couple,” Hyunjin commented with a laugh. “I swear, my life wouldn’t be this entertaining if it weren’t for the two of you pushing and pulling each other like some kind of weird magnet,” he added with a loud snicker.

You winced internally at his words.

“We’re here!” Nayeon exclaimed in an excited tone, hopping up to you all with plastic bags filled with drinks. “Sorry, the line was so fucking long,” Yiren chuckled, pulling out the drinks from the bag to hand them out. “Nah, it’s fine. We’re not the ones paying after all,” you teased, waving it off.

“Bitch,” Yiren spat at you jokingly, earning a small laugh from your friends. You gingerly grabbed your drink and a straw, stabbing it into the drink before sipping. “Oh! Yiren! Meet Chanhee, he just got here because of business or something,” you squeaked, gesturing to the boy whose head shot up from his drink at the mention of his name.

“What? Me?” Chanhee rambled, stabbing his straw through the lid of his drink. 

“Oh, nice to meet you! I’m Yiren, I’m Y/n’s friend from Busan,” she smiled, outstretching her hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you too, I’m Chanhee,” he nodded, shaking her hand before his eyes glanced down to her wrist. His eyes widened, letting out a loud gasp which alerted all of you. 

“What? What happened?” Mina exclaimed, turning her head to the couple who were staring at each other with equally flabbergasted expressions. “It’s you! Holy crap, it’s actually you!” she exclaimed, using her free hand to cup her mouth. Chanhee slowly stood up, feeling tears gathering in his eyes.

Everyone was shocked. You let out dramatic gasps, recognizing the loving expressions the two of them had on their faces. No one dared to speak as they let the knowledge sink in, feeling the atmosphere tense up for a brief moment as you watched your two friends stare admiringly and longingly at each other.

“You’re real! What the fuck, you’re real and you’re here!” Chanhee managed to choke out, admiring the tattoo on Yiren’s left wrist that mirrored his own. “Hi soulmate,” she laughed, wrapping her arms around her soulmate who wrapped her in a tight embrace. 

Your friends let out loud cheers and squeals at how dramatic their meet-up was, coming forward to congratulate them nonetheless. You couldn’t hold in your excitement for your friend but you couldn’t help but clench your fist tightly by your side, a heavy feeling in your chest piling up once again.

You couldn’t help but feel envious of how happy they looked. The tears in their eyes as they embraced each other so passionately, the bright aura surrounding them. You’ve seen your friends and families do PDA with their own partners but you had never witnessed what finding your soulmate truly looked like. That is, not until now.

Reading strangers’ experiences when meeting their soulmate online was one thing but seeing it first hand in person was a beautiful sight to see. You couldn’t help but turn to Jaemin in your seat, giving him a longing look as you ignored the loud exclaims and cheers of your friend group.

Jaemin’s expression was empty, void of emotion. You couldn’t tell what he was thinking or what he was feeling. Frankly, you didn’t want to know. They say you can see your future with your soulmate if your love was powerful enough. ‘Bull crap, all I see in his eyes is irritation towards me’ you thought with a roll of your eyes.

Jaemin’s eyes met yours, his brow raising at you as if to say ‘what?’

Your eyes widened slightly, taking aback by his sudden gaze, feeling hurt at the fact that he wasn’t fazed at all at the beautiful sight bestowed upon him. The reunion of two soulmates was always something special, it was a priceless moment that they can only share between them.

You felt your enthusiasm waver when you realised you were hoping something that wasn’t going to come. You were clinging on to Jaemin once again in hopes that he would give you the happiness you craved so much from hearing your grandmother’s stories. 

When you finally focused back on Jaemin’s now concerned gaze since he noticed you had spaced out and had begun snapping his fingers in front of your face to snap you out of your deep thoughts.

You couldn’t help but smile brightly at him, ignoring the jolting pain blooming in your wrist and in your chest as you stood up from your seat to join in celebration with your friends. The thought of never experiencing the same happiness they’re going to have once they find their soulmates lingering in the back of your mind.

But fortunately for you, keeping a smile stretched across your lips is what you do best.  

“Hey, I’m here,” Renjun called out, walking into your door without knocking. Your parents were away for the day and your sad hours were hitting you hard that you called Renjun to help comfort you and accompany you. Renjun knew the door was always unlocked for him to enter immediately without knocking whenever you were sad.

“Thanks for coming,” you smiled weakly, nuzzling closer to your bed sheets as Renjun sat on the bed next to you, dumping a plastic bag filled with snacks right in front of you. “You better pay me back sooner or later,” he joked, pulling out two cartons of milk and handing one to you. “When I don’t feel like shit that is,” you chuckled softly, sticking the straw in the carton as you tossed him the remote.

“What do you want to watch?” he asked, adjusting his position on your pillow as he pressed through the options on your TV screen. “The Office? That drama you’ve been wanting to watch? Or-”

“I’m good with anything, Jun. I just- I’m just glad I’m not alone, right now,” you inhaled deeply, sniffling back your tears as you shook your milk carton. Renjun paused, realising you were on the brink of crying again. He clicked his tongue, his eyes darting from the TV screen to your shaking form trying to maintain calm, debating whether to leave you be or make you talk your feelings out.

“You want to talk about it?”

Renjun obviously decided to choose the latter.

You shrugged, looking down at your milk carton so hopelessly, a hurt expression flossing over your features. “I was just having those dreams again,” you gazed up to keep your tears in. You’ve been having these dreams that you were in a completely alternate universe, that you were happy again, that you were in Jaemin’s arms.

That he was looking at you the way you’ve been looking at him for the past two years.

“Were you reading those soulmate moments again before you went to bed?” he asked with a soft chuckle. You huffed, crossing your arms before sitting up straight against the headboard. “Come on! Let me dream! I might not be able to experience the happiness soulmates share when they’re with each other because I decided to ghost mine completely, but at least I can imagine!” you whined.

“It’s the only thing I can do now that I don’t have any hopes of experiencing romance or love and what not,” you mumbled almost inaudibly, sipping on your milk once again. Renjun bit his lip, knowing full well where this was going if he said the wrong thing. “Well, I-”

“It’s not fair, Renjun.”

“Huh?”

He turned to you, watching you stare at the screen which was playing a trailer of The Umbrella Academy with an expression filled with despair. “I’m stupid for getting this worked up for a boy but he’s my soulmate, I have the right to be upset right? He’s my soulmate, I want to experience the same thing others are experiencing, too. It’s not fair,” you whimpered, crossing your arms tightly against your chest.

“Why does he get to be the selfish one? I’m here getting hurt all the time for his own happiness and he’s probably out there living his best life!” you exclaimed exasperatedly, sniffling back your tears. “It’s not fair, I want to be happy too.” You whimpered, furiously wiping away your tears,

“How did we come to this? I’m human too! I want to be selfish too for once. I want to be able to play with my soulmate’s hair, give them little smooches, have cuddles and movie sessions. I want to go on dates with my soulmate too! And take those aesthetic pictures you see on Pinterest too!”

“Y/n, I-”

“He wanted to find love and experience the feeling of falling in love with someone who wasn’t chosen for him, right? Does that mean I have to watch him fall in love with someone else in front of my own eyes? Oh God, I’m so fucking stupid!” you planted your elbows on your thighs, leaning forward to rub your eyes against your palms to avoid looking into Renjun’s sympathetic ones.

“Two years. Two damn years, that’s how long I spent parading myself around like an idiot hoping that he would like me back when all I did, really, was drive him further and further away! I just thought, maybe it wasn’t those immediate soulmate bonds, you know Jun? The ones that take time and effort. But it’s been two damn years. Once again, I’m just fooling myself with something that wasn’t there! I just want it to stop hurting!”

“Y/n stop, your wrist is glowing again-”

“I was so stupid, Renjun. So, so fucking stupid. All this time I knew that I was making the both of us uncomfortable, yet I still kept on going and I still kept on pestering him even if he told me to stop. Maybe I’m the selfish one?” you felt your bottom lip quiver as your scattered mind grew messier with every passing second.

“Why did I trick myself into thinking that maybe one day he would feel the same feelings I’m feeling? I’ve always known he won’t ever love me back. So why did I create false hope? Was that selfish of me to want someone to love and someone to love me back?”

“No, y/n, you’re not selfish.”

“Renjun. My own soulmate doesn’t love me. My own fucking soulmate doesn’t love me. I’m going to be alone forever. I hate being alone. I hate it so much. I hate this so damn much,” your whole body shook harshly with every sob you let out but Renjun couldn’t help but respond with a soft, “you won’t be alone, y/n.”

“The worst part is I told myself for so long that I’ll be okay if it happens. I’ll be fine with watching him happy without me. But the more I think about it, the more selfish I felt. I don’t want to see him fall in love with someone else and be happy with someone else, Jun. I’m so stupid, Why did I ever thought I’d be okay with it when I’m clearly not okay now!”

“Y/n, no, you’re not stupid. Don’t you dare say something like that about yourself.” Renjun pulled you away from the ball you were curling into, making you lean against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your back tightly, stroking your head and rubbing your back as he tried to calm down your soft cries.

“You’re not stupid, y/n. You’re really not,” he said in the softest tone he could muster. 

“Renjun. I have a soulmate who doesn’t even fucking want me. If my own soulmate doesn’t want me then who else will? You all always see how he looks at me right? He hates me, he doesn’t even like me. Not one bit.” At this point, you were trying to focus on your breathing, wiping your nose and tears away with the fabric of your shirt.

Your grip on your bedsheets tightened when your heart ached even more. Your heart was screaming and pleading in your chest, crying out for something it can’t have. And all you can do to comfort it was to cry it all out.

Renjun sat there, rubbing your back and stroking your head as he whispered soft hushes, trying to reassure you your worth as you mumbled incoherent sobs, single syllables and broken words against his shoulder. You were hurting so much that you didn’t know if you should stop crying or let it all out to satisfy the pain in your chest.

But sure enough, Renjun held you there until you couldn’t cry anymore. 

“Hey, I told you, you don’t have to give me chocolates anymore. My mom’s going to kill me if I have another sore throat,” you chuckled, pulling up the thin chocolate bar from your locker. Your friend, Nayeon, turned to you with furrowed brows, eyes filled with confusion. “Excuse you, I didn’t give you any chocolates this week,” she responded, pulling out her textbook.

You let out a small ‘huh?’ at her, trying to see if she was lying. Nayeon always gave you half of her lifetime supply of chocolates that she always receives from her soulmate because she wanted to go on a diet and she didn’t want to waste the delicious treats. “He found out I was on a diet and stopped giving me chocolates for the time being. Also, it’s my cheat day today!” she exclaimed, pulling out a chocolate bar similar to yours from her pocket.

“So no chocolates for you,” she waved the chocolate bar in your face jokingly, causing you to chuckle. “Well okay, Nayeon. But if you didn’t give me the chocolate, then who did?” you asked, furrowing your brows at the treat in your hand. “Dumbass, there’s a note behind it,” Nayeon reached over and flipped the candy over, revealing a small yellow sticky note attached to it.

‘I hope you have a great day!

- you know who’

The handwriting gave it away. It was way too obvious, you’ve seen that handwriting more than you could count. There was no doubt in your mind that this was indeed Jaemin’s handwriting. You chuckled when your mind recalled the time Jaemin kept giving you chocolate bars from his mother’s private stock whenever you were upset back when you were still kids. But how could he still remember your favorite chocolate brand? It was quite sweet but unexpected at the same time.

“’I hope you have a great day’, that’s so bland. Sounds like something moms would write on a piece of paper in their kid’s lunch boxes,” your friend commented with a small snicker, pointing at the note attached to the chocolate bar. “This sounds like some weird stalker-ish movie prompt,” she added with a teasing tone, nudging your shoulder. You forced out a small laugh to hide your discomfort.

“Do you really have to say it like that, though? I’d say this might just be someone’s weird prank?” you raised your brow, trying not to give away the fact that you know full well who this chocolate bar is from. “Come on, aren’t you suppose to be the prankster in this situation, y/n?” she giggled, waving her hand off to say she was joking.

“Nonetheless-Ooh! An admirer! Sadly, you’re too whipped for Jaemin to give this fellow a chance,” Nayeon gushed, snatching the chocolate bar out of your palms to inspect the note even further. “It even says ‘you know who’. I’m fully convinced that a Potterhead wrote this, I mean, it’s cute. But do they really have to include ‘you know who’? This isn’t Harry Potter, they ain’t Voldemort,” Nayeon rambled, causing you to giggle in response.

“Shut up,” you mumbled, suppressing the heavy feeling inside of your chest. Nayeon giggled, smacking your shoulder gently as she handed you the chocolate bar back. “I’m just kidding you! So, do you know this supposed admirer?” she asked with a small hum, oblivious to the sadness that had glossed over your pupils.

“Yeah, definitely.” You replied shortly, kissing your lips as you nodded. Her head shot up at you, eyes widening in surprise. “Oh! So are you going to do anything about it? I mean, you found your soulmate already as far as I know but are you going to do anything?” she asked, cocking her head to the side a bit in wonder. You sighed, putting the chocolate in the pocket of your backpack before shaking your head with a small smile. 

“No, I’m not,” you replied, walking alongside her to your next class. “I don’t really want to think about it too much, I mean, it’s just a bar of chocolate, right?”

‘The ones I used to receive from him back when we were still in middle school that is,’ you thought with a heavy heart. You clenched your fists by your side, mustering up the energy you have in your system to put on your usual bright smile. “Anyways, what were you saying about Mr Seong earlier?” 

When you said you didn’t want to think about it too much, obviously you were lying and you thought about it way too much all throughout math class till lunch. As you were doing the assignment your teacher gave you, you couldn’t help but remember the kiss you two shared at the party. Your chest fluttered at the seemingly distant memory

You paused, putting your pen down next to your notebook, propping your elbows on the table before rubbing your face in distress, the tips of your fingers coming up to rub your temples with a heavy sigh. ‘God, I need a damn vacation after all this,’ you thought, putting your arms down as you continued on with your work.

‘The tables really have turned, huh?’

You glanced at the small sticky note attached to the chocolate bar which was now hidden in your pencil case. You let out a silent chuckle, flipping your pen in between your fingers as you stare down at your paper. ‘It hurts,’ you thought, taking a small glimpse at your left wrist. The white bandage that wrapped around your wrist peeking out under the fabric of your sweater.

‘It hurt,’ you bit your lip, darting your eyes back at your paper filled with equations. As you started to continue with your work, your mind wandered to the weekend after the party. 

 You remembered waking up early in the comforts of your own bed sheets, still in the clothes you wore the night before. Your headache causes you to groan against your pillows when you felt like vomiting your stomach out. Apparently, Renjun had magically snuck you in your own home in the middle of the night by using the spare key you had in your pocket. 

How he managed to sneak into your house and get into your room and out without waking your parents was a whole mystery to you. But you couldn’t care less when the events of the previous night overwhelmed your thoughts, resulting in you having a mini mental breakdown in your bathroom when you decided to take a shower.

You and Jaemin kissed! You and Jaemin fucking kissed!

What the actual fuck?!

At the time, you couldn’t help but touch your own lips with the tips of your fingers, giggling softly at the fond memory, feeling butterflies swarm your stomach. Collapsing on the mattress of your bed, snuggling against the pillows as you couldn’t hide the giddy feeling spilling from inside of you. But your little giggle session didn’t last long when your mind finally remembered the full events.

You had a mental breakdown- no, you had a whole panic attack in front of your own soulmate. Jaemin just did what any other male protagonist in a cliche romance movie would do, which was kiss their love interest. You are his soulmate after all. They say one of the most comforting things in the world will always be the first kiss you ever shared with your soulmate. 

They say a lot of things, if you think about it.

What if Jaemin knew that and kissed you just to make you feel better? What if he did it out of pure sympathy? Jaemin was someone who would do anything to make someone’s pain go away, even if he had to share the pain to take it away. You sighed at the thought, remembering how he snapped at you at the dinner party. Or did he just kiss you because you appeared too pathetic in front of him?

‘I forgot, he’d gladly do anything for the people he loved. I’ll never be in that category. Not anymore,’ you thought to yourself bitterly as you hugged your pillow to your chest. 

But then again, why did he kiss you? He was the one who initiated the kiss, right?

Right?

‘Stop trying to give yourself hope, unless you want to get hurt again you might as well go back to being a simp’

You snapped out of your thoughts with a click of your tongue, chuckling to yourself. ‘God dammit, y/n, you’re out of the soulmate game now. The universe really said ‘you’re never going to be happy with your soulmate, ever!’ in the most dramatical way possible. You have fallen out of God’s favor a long long time ago.’

You shook your head in disappointment before adverting your eyes back down to finish your paper.

‘You were dreaming too far.’

“Alright class. For those who haven’t finished their work, you can do them at home and give them to my next week,” your teacher announced as he puts his papers in between the pages of his book. The class groaned, the sounds of chairs grinding against the tile floor pierced your hearing as people started packing up their things. 

You rubbed your eyes in distress, putting your paper in between the pages of your textbook, shoving it straight in your bag carelessly and walking out of the classroom with a heavy sigh. Gripping the saddle of your bag with one hand and the chocolate bar in your other as you make your way to the cafeteria. 

As you entered the crowded place, you spotted a few of your friends sitting at a table nearby at the corner of your eye. Sending them a smile and a small wave you turned your head to scan the room in an attempt to find the table Jaemin was sitting at.

You quickly walked to his table, feeling your heartbeat quicken in your chest with every step you take. Jeno was the first one who caught you walking towards their table as Jaemin had his back turned to you. Raising his brow in confusion as you waved at him with a sheepish smile. 

“Jaemin, is that-”

When Jaemin turned around, his eyes widened to see you standing right in front of him that he almost choked on his cookie. “Hey, uh-” you spoke, taking a breath to calm your nerves before placing the chocolate bar right beside him. “I don’t want to be rude or anything but I just want to return this,” you smiled, trying to ignore the eyes of his teammates boring holes into your figure.

“I’ll see you guys around, I guess,” you shrugged, turning around and whipping your phone out to advert your mind as you exited the cafeteria. You knew Jaemin was going to chase after you when you heard the sound of his friends calling his name which caused you to walk faster to the exit, jogging when you finally got out of the cafeteria.

“Y/n!” Jaemin called out, running after you. 

You sighed, stopping in your step before turning to him with an exhausted expression. “What is it, Jaemin?” you asked, exhaustion lacing your tone. You haven’t spoken to him since that night at the party and you’ve been avoiding him like the plague since then. And frankly, you really don’t want to talk to him about it.

“This is yours,” Jaemin said, his breathing hitched as he outstretched his hand towards you to hand you back the chocolate. “No, Jaemin. I really don’t want to,” you shook your head, a frown stretched across your lips. “It’s a present, is it not? You have to accept it,” Jaemin raised his brow at you, attempting to take your hand but you quickly jerked it back to your side.

Jaemin couldn’t help but wince at the small action. “Y/n, you said it yourself once, right? ‘You can’t reject a gift from someone else, that’s rude and unappreciative’” He quoted, causing your eyes to widen slightly. “Jaemin, you know very well I only said that to make you accept my gifts,” you frowned, wincing at how hypocritical you sounded.

But still, he did not just use the same tactic you used back when you were still bugging him. Not when he whined and complained so much to his friends whenever you weren’t around afterwards.

“I still have the right to refuse your gift, Jaemin,” you frowned, slipping your hand in your pockets. He sighed exasperatedly, “fine, can we at least talk? About that night at the party? Please?” he pleaded, sending you his irresistible puppy eyes in an attempt to get you to say yes.

You bit your lip, feeling your heartbeat increase at the action, butterflies swarming your stomach as you feel yourself turn into mush under his eyes. But alas, your mind couldn’t help but have flashbacks to the party. The heavy feeling in your chest that made it hard to breathe. The burning in your wrist that made you want to chop your own arm off. 

Everything that happened between you two was nothing but a mess.

In your eyes, there was nothing else to talk about. It is best if you two go your separate ways, right?

“There’s literally nothing to talk about, Jaemin,” you deadpanned, gripping the saddle of your bag tightly to keep your emotions intact when you feel a lump starting to build up in your throat. “I don’t understand why you want to talk about this so much,” you sighed, shaking your head as you ran a hand through your hair.

“If you have nothing to say, it’s fine. Then just let me talk,” Jaemin sighed, running a hand through his hair in distress. “Just hear me out, okay?” he said in an almost pleading tone, his lips forming a pout as his puppy eyes bore into yours. You took this chance to examine his features.

As creepy as it sounds, you missed seeing his face. He looks tired. So tired. Dark bags under his eyes, his pink lips forming a small pout as he waited for your response. You furrowed your brows, biting the inside of your cheek for letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding back.

“I really don’t have time for this. I just came to give you back your chocolate, “ you lied through your teeth. If you didn’t have time, then why did you decide to give him back the chocolate when you have been avoiding him? Maybe deep down, you just want to see him again? Maybe you just wanted an excuse to talk to him?

You didn’t know yourself. Why were you talking to him knowing full well it’s just going to bring you pain again? 

You gave him a small, weak smile. “I need to go Jaemin. The bell’s about to ring soon and I need to get my notes from Renjun before Chemistry,” you sighed, biting your tongue to keep yourself from saying anything else that would make the atmosphere more tense than it already was. 

“I’ll see you around.”

You missed him, but you also want it to stop hurting. 

A/N: this was a really shitty chapter. But i felt guilty for not posting so here’s like a short ass chapter I wrote in like the four hours of free time I had in the past two days. So forgive me this is rlly bad lmfao. BUT HEY FINALLY A CHAPTER WITH Y/NS POV! yeah back to Jaemin’s pov when the next chapter comes out. My exams should be ending soon so I might or might not post somewhere next week idfk man

ANYWAYS

T A G L I S T : @candiednickles​ @itlittlefangirl​ @cherrym4rk​ @gotoartistprofile @d-nghyck​ @kingjvngins​ @aconeptun​ @chaeshii @lixseu​ @morks-watermelon​ @12am-musings​ @cherrystay​ @lowkeyviv​ @btm-taeyong​ @gothmingguk​ @luvlyjaemin​ @cowward​ @smileyyuta​ @cakelyn @uncovermenow666 @comically-sleep-deprived​ @wtfhaechan​ @xcherrybbyx​ @wishing–butterfly​ @wordsgodeep​ @seeing-dreams​ @sweetmoonlight9​ @chwenchew​ @stuckwithhyuck​ @yunoelea​ @angelrenjunie​ @dae-chan​ @jenseoull​ @marklexleaf​ 

Tag list is  o p e n e d !

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[aceoftrashies]

Ohh boy, finally finished the list- and, fair warning, it’s a mess ahsvHSV (feeling super delirious from classes rn, so my apologies,,)

Also! The typical, pretty blatant ‼️ spoiler warning ‼️ for anybody who hasn’t finished Julian, Lucio, and Asra’s routs,,

Possible scenes w/Julian

-VI, A Gift and a Curse; The “hidden garden” paid scene. Could probably, slightly, cross into Laying Low as well?

-VIII, Master Of Disguise; the typical “hold back or you’ll give away your identity” kind of thing??

-IX, Lost and Found- I mean the player literally sneezes there, so I don’t think it’d be too far-fetched,, idk

-XI, Pursuit of Knowledge; mainly in the memory paid scene- the one showing Julian when he first contracted the plague? Maybe??

-Legit any scenes during the Masquerade, because,, yknow,,, the feathered masquerade outfit,,

-XVI, Head Over Heels; the spell paid option,, maybe the MC went a little overboard with the “cool things down” option- you can probably use your imagination from there 👀

-XVIII, Dream Within a Dream; the “snowball fight paid option- that one’s pretty easy to imagine tbh, especially with the “make a sparkling snowball” option where,, y’know,,, it literally explodes into a cloud glitter upon impact shsHSVS

-XXI, Towards Tomorrow; the final paid scene in the upright ending, when the MC throws a dustcloth at his face ahsvHSVHSV

-XXI, After The End; any time after Julian’s reversed ending, where he and the MC travel out to find their friends again,, because,,, idk, there’s a whole new magic-stricken world out there, and I just really like the way they left it open ended/hinted at the possibility that things could get better & continue from there and fUCK, MAN,, I could write an essay on how much I love both endings, don’t even get me started,,, /pos

Possible scenes w/Lucio

-VI, Beyond the Veil; when Lucio’s appearance is returned to normal, it describes the transformation as a sort of whirlwind, sweeping up all the ash around him- you probably get where I’m going with this ahsvHSVSHV,,

-VII to VIII, The White Forest, to Old Ghosts; I know this bastard grew up in the South and is canonically pretty immune to the cold, but shh let me obsess in peace

-X, Rescue and Reckoning; that scene where the MC saves him from the snow after he’s been trapped there for an unspecified amount of time? Yep, absolutely clinging to that concept and running with it ahsvHSV

-XII, Vicious Cycles; the second paid option. Mainly when he gets stuck in a bush ahsvHHSVS

-XIII, A Very Long Shadow; just about any time after he gets his body, namely with the baking paid option?

-XIV, Night To Remember; mainly the scene where you have to hide him from Vulgoria ahsbJSB,,, I,, am a sucker for scenes like that ngl,,, Same thing goes for a similar scene in XV, Out of the Frying Pan,,

-XIX, Weight of the World (GOD I LOVE THAT CHAPTER NAME AAA,, man,,,) during the “what future do you want?” paid scene,, or just anywhere in the second half of the chapter, since they’re in a massive flower field,,

-XXI, The Road Goes On (AAA THAT TITLE AS WELL,,, god most of Lucio’s chapter titles just resonate with me, as cheesy as they are); during the second to last paid option in his upright ending. (Mainly based on that headcannon/technically cannon that Lucio absolutely cannot handle spice ahsvHSV,,)

Possible scenes w/Asra

-VI, The Other Side; the paid option where the apprentice can explore the oasis with Asra?

-VIII, The Low Road; if you’ve played through this one, then it,, probably speaks for itself,,,

-VIII, Away from it All; the baking scene !! Because I,, have zero self-control,,,

-IX, Shelter from the Storm; this one is also pretty self-explanatory,,

-XIV, Visions and Illusions; I know this is supposed to be focused on Asra but damn it Julian you prick- Y’know that scene where Julian is riding up on one of the masquerade floats, and the MC has the choice to prank him? If you’ve seen that scene I’m sure you know where I’m going with this ahsvHSVS,,

-XV, Faustian Bargain; the “light the incense” paid option 👀

-XXI, The Great Divide; the aforementioned moth scene in the reversed end, but extended, ig? I dunno man, I’m out of ideas,,

The endings themselves leave room for some general sf-scenes too, but that requires a little extra brainstorming, and quite frankly, I’ve gone so far with this hyperfixation that I’ve burnt myself out ahsvJSV,, /lh

-♠️

That's a pretty cool list! I haven't done all of those, so I don't know everything you're talking about, but I'll look into them to find out!

And the 'Stay In Bed' option you showed me, except that one is legit,,

[yeahwellyourface]

MOVIE REVIEW TIME!! A Little Chaos and Far From The Madding Crowd

I had a Matthias Schoenaerts weekend cause the boy can get it. Both of these movies were already on my list, but when I realized he was in them, they jumped to the top. So, here we go.

A Little Chaos

Available on Netflix. Directed by Alan Rickman. Stars: Kate Winslet, Matthias Schoenaerts, Alan Rickman, Stanley Tucci, Helen McCrory, and Jennifer Ehle

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2639254/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This one has been on my list for awhile but I really wasn’t in the mood for a depressing period piece. FYI, it is not a depressing period piece. In fact, the word I think works best for describing it is “cute.” It is not a great film, but it is very enjoyable. I smiled through most of it and then when I turned it off, I realized I was still smiling.

The basic plot is that French king Louis XIV is building Versailles and his head gardener, Andre Le Notre, is hiring different gardeners to do different parts of the whole since it is a whole lotta shit. Against his original idea, he hires Madame Sabine de Barra to create a section of the garden that will basically be an outdoor ballroom. She doesn’t do well at court, but some people still like her, some don’t. Given that there is an actual outdoor ballroom at Versailles, I don’t think I’m giving anything away by saying that she eventually builds it (although in actuality, it was not built by a woman…unfortunately). But that’s it. It is a very simple little movie. It is full of tropes and could be quite stupid but the amazing cast makes it charming instead.

So, the fantastic cast…everyone is basically doing exactly what you want them to do. Kate Winslet as Sabine de Barra plays a woman who has been through some shit but is gonna get things done her way and it is no use to try and stop her. She is better than you. Just accept it. Matthias Schoenaerts as Andre Le Notre is mainly there to look pretty (difficult with that horrible hair, but he can do it) and worship de Barra as she deserves. Alan Rickman plays Louis XIV because why the fuck not. Stanley Tucci plays the king’s outlandish bisexual brother who adores both his wife and his young lover. He was in the movie for like 10 minutes and was the best thing ever. Seriously, we need to protect Stanley Tucci at all costs. Helen McCrory is Madame Le Notre and is a bad bitch as only she can be. I bow down to her. Jennifer Ehle plays against type as the flighty mistress to the king. I thought I was going to hate her because the character was supposed to be annoying at first, but I ended up loving her too.

So, yeah. Not a movie to go nuts over, but if you are curled up on the couch one afternoon and want something light and sweet, this will do the trick.

Far From The Madding Crowd

Available on Amazon (but you have to pay for it, even with prime). Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy. Directed by Thomas Vinterberg. Stars: Carey Mulligan, Matthias Schoenaerts, Michael Sheen, Tom Sturridge, Juno Temple.

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2935476/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

This is another one I’ve been considering for awhile. See that bit above where it says “Based on the novel by Thomas Hardy?” Yeah….that’s why I was putting it off. Now, it’s not that I dislike Thomas Hardy. I actually enjoyed Return of the Native…kinda. But his stuff is very much overdramatic, windswept English countryside. And damn, if that is not something that I am always willing to go for. But I’d do it for Matthias Schoenaerts. So I did.

So, here is the basic plot if you’ve never read the book (and I actually haven’t, but I’ve read about it…does that count?)…young woman, Bathsheba Everdene, with a middle-to-upper class education lives with family on a farm because her parents died. She meets a young man, Gabriel Oak, and then enjoy hanging out and working on the farm together. He has land that is almost paid off and a bunch of sheep. Her aunt owns the land that they live on and work. He falls in love and asks her to marry him. She says no, she doesn’t want to get married and be tied down to a husband. Immediately after, their fortunes reverse. He loses all his sheep (and it’s kinda horrible and depressing, so if you need to look away, I understand) and his land. She inherits a pretty nice farm and is no longer dependent on family. He’s wandering looking for work and accidentally stumbles on her new farm and gets a job as a shepherd there.

Now that she is moving among the landed class, she meets the next door neighbor, Mr. Boldwood, who falls in love with her (the way that happens is she plays a prank on him and is generally an asshole and hurts him and damn, woman, wtf, that was mean…but she does apologize). He asks her to marry him. She says she’ll think about it.

Mixed in with this, we see a side story about an army sergeant and his pretty sweetheart, who used to work at the Everdene farm but ran away to be with the guy…never a good move. They were supposed to get married, but she went to the wrong church. By the time she gets to the right church, he thinks she stood him up and has left. She is now destitute since she left her friends and family. This was another scene where I couldn’t bear to watch. I knew what was going to happen and seeing them both so happy getting ready for the wedding just broke my heart, so I fast forwarded. Sue me.

Anyway, army sergeant Frank Troy is now wandering drunk around the countryside brokenhearted and literally runs into Miss Everdene. She thinks he’s cute and decides to meet up with him. He shows off flashy sword moves and then kisses her and pulls a trump and then runs off. Because we do stupid things sometimes, she is completely charmed by him and runs away to marry him.

Now, through all of this, Mr. Oak has worked for her and been there for her and tried to help her and give advice. He points out that she was an asshole to Mr. Boldwood and she gets pissed at him for telling her because she knows she was and she doesn’t want to be told. He knows that Sergeant Troy is an asshole and tries to convince Miss Everdene to stay away from him but she doesn’t.

Literally at her wedding dinner with Sergeant Troy, Miss Everdene (Mrs. Troy now) realizes that she married and asshole. But she’s stuck with him.

If you really want me to tell you the rest in detail, I will. But basically, she has to deal with an asshole husband, a rich neighbor who is still in love with her (and kinda off his rocker about it), and the shepherd who has loved her for years and been there to support her even when she was an asshole to him. I wonder who she will end up with?!?!Okay, now for the movie. It was just okay. Like, I’ve read the first couple chapters of the book and there is SO MUCH INFORMATION that cannot be put into a movie. There is just not enough time. This is the problem with turning a book into a movie. They have to skip so much that they can end up leaving a lot of it flat. We see Miss Everdene be a good person several times. But we also see her be an asshole. I wish we had been able to see her more indepth. But there wasn’t time. I never felt fully connected to her. When she was being good, I liked her. When she was being an asshole, I disliked her. There was no continuity between those feelings. The movie never gave me a chance to feel conflicted over her. It was all surface feelings. Carey Mulligan does a good enough job for what she is given. But the best relationship is between her and her companion. That’s the only string that carries through with that character.

Matthias Schoenaerts is beautiful, of course. He is the solid character that all the others are whirling around. He is a big man, much bigger and taller than Carey Mulligan and Michael Sheen, but you can see how he curls his shoulders down to give the two of them more power as he is lower class than they are. There is a scene between him and Michael Sheen near the end where he straightens Sheen’s tie, and I think that is the only moment between those two where Schoenaerts stands up straight, as for a moment, they are almost equals. However, by the end of the scene, he is curled in again. It’s really interesting on the choices made there. Because when he is not in a position where he is “under” them, when he is working and being damn good at his job, he is standing up straight. It’s fascinating to see the difference between the two sides of this character.

Michael Sheen. Oh goodness, Michael Sheen. He did so much better for this character than this movie deserved. I love this man and he is so good as an actor, but this character is a bit out there. I wonder how much of his bipolarness is in the book. Cause the character is all over the place in the movie. He goes from one extreme to the next. And yes, some of the plot points are definitely from the book, but the in between stuff….is he really like that? So, Sheen does a great job with what he is given, again. But the character is just so weird and again, very little continuity throughout.

Tom Sturridge plays Sergeant Troy. This character is a huge asshole and Tom Sturridge plays him perfectly. If I met Tom Sturridge on the street, I would want to slap him because I hate him. That is a good sign for an actor.

Juno Temple…another one I love. She is slowly becoming a bigger name, but deserves so much more. In this, she plays Fannie, Sergeant Troy’s first sweetheart. He didn’t deserve her. And I love Juno Temple, so she can do no wrong.

Overall, it’s an okay movie. I won’t pay for it again. I rented it and I’m glad I didn’t buy it. But if it comes on tv, I’ll watch it. If you want to watch it, you won’t hate it. But I don’t recommend running out and grabbing it any which way. The cinematography was BEAUTIFUL. The way they used light was lovely.

So, since I mentioned Matthias Schoenaerts as my reason for going ahead and watching these, lemme talk about my feelings for him in these. He is very strange. Watching interviews with him and seeing his artwork, he seems to be a ball of chaotic energy, but in both of these movies, he is the calm figure that the others bounce around. I watched the beginning of Rust and Bone, but then my internet went out and I wasn’t able to finish it without paying for it again (which I intend to do). And of course, I ADORE The Old Guard. That’s another one where he plays against what seems to be his personality type. I also love The Drop (seriously, one of my all-time favorite movies and if you haven’t seen it, go watch it NOW). That character seems to be a bit more on his level with the chaos, but I hope not with the assholeishness.

Either way, he was stunningly beautiful in these movies. Kate Winslet adored working with him and says that he was so sweet about their sex scene because she was pregnant and felt like shit. His hair is awful in A Little Chaos, but I’ll forgive him, this time.

Anyway, watch A Little Chaos at some point. And I guess you should watch Far From The Madding Crowd at some point too, but don’t pay for it if you don’t have to. Go watch The Old Guard and The Drop RIGHT NOW. Those are much better movies of his. Go watch Rust and Bone and I will watch the rest of it soon.

In A Little Chaos.  Seriously....why would they do this with his hair.

And in Far From The Madding Crowd.  See....much better. And I see you, dude in the background looking at him. I agree, he is definitely a snack.

[fragmentedink-archived]

Hell to Pay: Chapter Twenty-Nine

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII

cowritten by @lux-scriptum

A/N: Trigger warnings for torture, grief, excessive drinking

Sorin stared out the window. Being in angel territory always left Sorin restless. He didn’t belong, and while he had faith that he and Cyrus could handle anything, the rejection was strong.

“You’re going to be on your best behavior, right?” Cyrus asked as he parked the car.

“I’ll be fine,” Sorin muttered.

“Promise? This isn’t a bar fight I can fish you out of if you get pissy, Sorin. These are powerful people we’re talking to. Are you sure you’re ready?” Cyrus’ warm face was scrunched with stress, and his ringed fingers held onto the steering wheel far too tightly for comfort.

“I’m in control,” Sorin promised, getting out of the car. “And I’m not walking away from this. I’ve come too far.”

Cyrus caught up with Sorin by the time he made it to the front steps. When Cyrus grabbed Sorin’s hand, he didn’t complain, just knocked on the front door.

A very tall ginger opened the door. Glowing green eyes pinned Sorin in place, and Sorin felt disturbingly seen. Only Cyrus’ hand squeezing his kept Sorin from bristling. “Who are you?” This angel said, mouth quirking slightly. “And why should I care.”

Sorin opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. He didn’t trust himself to say anything, so he let Cyrus take the lead. The witch was a lot more of a soothing presence than Sorin and his flickering temper.

“My name is Cyrus. This is my mate, Sorin.” Cyrus squeezed Sorin’s hand again. “We’re here to request an audience with Baylor? Amara Claire sent us.”

The angel gave a laugh. “You’re not going to get anywhere with him if you call him Baylor. Or mention that Amara sent you.”

Cyrus didn’t even bat an eye, which was better than Sorin would have managed. “That was the name we were given,” Cyrus said apologetically. “We’re looking for an angel. Remiel, I think Amara said? He-” Cyrus paused, and then said, as delicately as possible, “He killed Sorin’s cousin a few years ago. We’re not looking for trouble, or to pick fights. Just some closure.”

“I don’t know how much closure you’re going to get; Remiel is dead.”

Sorin tried not to flinch. “Dead how?” He demanded. “When?”

The angel leaned against the doorway. “Tortured, I imagine. You’re a few months too late.”

“Tortured?” Cyrus echoed, blinking several times. “I highly doubt it was for what he’s done to demons in the past. What for, then?”

Sorin barely heard him. Dead? Amara must have known, so why would she send them on this stupid wild goose chase? And how the fuck was he supposed to find closure when the person who killed Fax was dead? Sorin didn’t even know why.

“Sucks, doesn’t it? Not being able to find closure,” the angel said. His eyes weren’t glowing anymore, were practically dull, but he still fixed Sorin with a stare that was far too knowing.

“This is a waste of time,” Sorin said abruptly. “Let’s go, Cy. I’ll- angels aren’t going to help us. I told you that.”

“Sorin,” Cyrus sighed, looking pained.

“I just wanted to know why,” Sorin said. He hunched his shoulders. “Fax just fucking gardened. He collected cats and he sat in his stupid fucking flowers and made moony eyes at that stupid angel he was sleeping with. I wanted to know why. He didn’t do anything.”

If Sorin didn’t know better, the ginger angel looked a little pained too. Which. That didn’t make any fucking sense. “You can talk to Bay, if you want. I’m sure he has plenty to say on the matter.”

Cyrus’ grip had moved to Sorin’s upper arm. “Thank you,” Cyrus said. “We appreciate it.”

“Oh, don’t thank me yet,” the angel replied with a bland smile. “Bay’s about as pissy as your omega is.”

Sorin told himself that the small hiss he let out was because Cyrus dug his fingers in Sorins arm. Of course, that was because Sorin’s magic leapt with Sorin’s temper. But. Still. Cyrus didn’t let go of Sorin until the angel turned to lead them inside and upstairs. Sorin kept close to Cyrus, trying to ignore the weight of the sentries’ stares on them as the angel led them to what looked like a nursery.

“Bay,” the angel announced in an almost threateningly cheerful tone. “You have visitors.”

Sorin zeroed in on the small omega in the rocking chair, who was incredibly tense even with the sleeping infant on his chest. Sorin forced himself to relax; he didn’t know much about angel children, but demon children were incredibly sensitive to the room’s emotions. He didn’t want to wake it up and have to deal with the crying, too.

“What do you want?” Bay said.

Not the welcome Sorin would have liked, but expected. He leaned into Cyrus, seeking both comfort from his mate, and to seem less like a threat. Once again he let Cyrus take the lead. Cyrus repeated their stupid quest for knowledge in his usual calm tone.

Somehow Bay’s expression shifted from defensive to more tired. “We branded Remiel a traitor and gave him over to Cameron Luaine. What he did after that isn’t my business.”

Sorin slid his hand in Cyrus’ pocket, seeking stability. Why- that didn’t make any sense. Cyrus, to his credit, seemed to be thinking along the same lines, because he asked quietly, “Why would you brand one of your own a traitor and hand him over to a demon?”

“Remiel tortured Cameron’s omega,” Bay said. “And it was inexcusable.”

Sorin damn near bit his tongue clean through to keep himself from speaking. It didn’t work. “Why would you care about a demon’s omega?” he blurted. For that matter, why did they let Sorin, a demon, walk in here and start demanding answers.

“Are you suggesting I don’t care about my brother’s feelings?” Bay asked dryly.

That pulled Sorin and Cyrus both to a stop. “We didn’t realize you were Cameron’s brother,” Cyrus finally said. “We didn’t mean any offense. We’re just trying to understand the full picture at this point. It’s the only way I can think of to help Sorin move on.”

“Cameron’s omega was an angel,” Bay said tiredly. “An angel Remiel abused.”

Cyrus seemed properly discomforted and upset, but all Sorin could think to say was, “Levant?” He shook his head. “Fax- Fax was infatuated with an angel. Levant. They got all domestic and shit.” Things were starting to make a lot more sense now. “Do you think I could talk to Levant? Or would I have to ask Cameron, not you?” Not ideal, but neither was walking into an angel’s house for answers, so really, what was the cost?

“Only if you can speak to the dead. Otherwise, no.”

Oh. “Did Remiel kill him?” Sorin asked without thinking. Cyrus’ fingers tapped a warning on his side, but Sorin had eyes only for Bay. He needed these answers. Not knowing was eating him alive.

“No. It was a family matter.” There was a particular emphasis on the word family, a twinge of contempt that Sorin couldn’t quite interpret.

When Sorin managed to keep his big mouth shut this time, Cyrus said lightly, “Thank you for your time. We’re sorry for intruding the way we did, but you’ve been more helpful than we could have hoped. It seems Amara sent us on a bit of a wild goose chase; she seemed to imply there was more.”

Bay’s expression shifted to annoyance in a heartbeat. “You should have known better,” Bay said. “Amara knows exactly what she’s doing, and she knows plenty. Lev was her cousin.”

“I was told to go to the mutt for answers,” Sorin muttered. “That she’d be able to help. Should have known it was bullshit.”

“First of all, do not call her that. Second of all, yes. You wasted your time.”

Sorin opened his mouth, and then shut it again, without prompting from Cyrus this time. “Sorry,” he finally said.

“I’m sure you are,” Bay said flatly.

Sorin winced. There was no point in insisting he was; he’d sound too defensive, and he was sure that explaining that he’d heard her called the mutt so many times he hadn't thought to consider it was offensive wouldn’t get him anywhere. In the end he just said, “Thank you, again. For explaining.” He started backing for the door.

“Next time you deal with Amara, make sure you get all the facts,” Bay ordered from his rocking chair.

Sorin made a face, but just took Cyrus’ hand as they made their way downstairs and out the door uncontested. Back to square one. Again.

--

Cameron was leaned back against the table, watching the traitor wheeze and choke on blood while Sazra healed him, yet again. He had already gotten everything out of Sage, at least, anything useful, which was not much. He had literally nothing on Destris or his whereabouts, or even why he was back in town. Though, Cameron figured Des was back in town because of Eden, and to punish Cameron for stealing his crown. He wanted to break Cameron’s toys all over again.

When Sazra was finished healing him, she disappeared out of the room without a word while Cameron stood in front of the sentry with his arms folded. A bloodied head lolled back against the steel chair, bloodshot and swollen deep violet eyes met his. “Just kill me,” he rasped. “I’ve told you everything. Everything.”

Cameron’s sharp smile made the sentry whimper.

“Oh I know,” Cameron said. “I broke you days ago, and I’m going to keep breaking you for as long as I feel like it.”

“I- he made me. He made me. He said he could provide for my fam-”

“The same family I was providing for?” Cameron asked, mildly. “Yes, you told me. And how does it feel knowing that that family is now dead.”

Sage swallowed thickly. “They didn’t do anything.”

“And neither did Lev,” Cameron said, bored. “And neither did Nik. But now I have to deal with the ramifications of your betrayal because my brother made you a promise that I was already making? An empty promise on his part, I might add. Since everyone in your household is now dead. And no one was there to stop me. Including my brother.”

Black tears streaked down Sage’s face. Either out of grief or anger. Cameron wasn’t really sure, and he didn’t quite care either. “You’re a monster,” Sage spat. “It was easy. You preach about not forgiving the angels and then bring them into your bed. A cruel man who thinks he can force his way into everyone’s world through blood and violence.”

Cameron snorted. “You make it sound like this is news to me. I can multitask.” He leaned over and dug his nails into Sage’s bound arms. “And I don’t think,” he said, softly. “I know. My kill count, is far, far superior to yours.”

Sage was trembling under his fingers, fear nearly coming out of his pores. Cameron tongued one of his fangs and straightened, going over to the table where his tools were. He traced a finger down a set of obsidian pliers. “First was the wife,” Cameron said. He picked the pliers up and eyed them. “You were trying for another child, were you not? Did it take?” Cameron didn’t give him a chance to reply. “I guess it doesn’t matter. Not like she’s going to be giving birth to anything anytime soon.”

Cameron came over and started yanking off finger nails. Sage tried his hardest to not make a sound, despite the pathetic whine that still managed to slip between his bloodied lips. “I bit her,” Cameron said. “Venom and all. And then I ripped her apart. She kept asking why I was in her house, what she did to upset me. Offered me all the money I could want. We both know I do not need money,” he said, with a final savage yank to the last finger. “I do not want it. I have enough blood money to drown you with.”

Fresh tears streamed down Sage’s face. Cameron could almost have sworn that he could hear the demon’s heart racing in his chest. Cameron lightly patted his cheek, in what he meant was supposed to be sympathy- at least, that was the way Nik seemed to do it. He didn’t know; didn’t care. “And your brats. What were their names- right. Rikard and Arlie.” The pure, unbridled rage in Sage’s eyes at the mention of his children’s names did absolutely nothing for Cameron, except for a small amount of satisfaction. “I did you the mercy, however, of killing them before their mother. I cannot imagine how horrifying it would have been,” he said, “To see your own mother being ripped apart like that.” Then again, his mother- well. He really couldn’t imagine it. At Sage’s small, wounded snarl, Cameron smiled. “You’re welcome. It’s a kindness,” Cameron said, continuing to take Sage apart piece by piece, “And I spared them from that.”

Every single word out of his mouth was a lie. It was as easy as breathing air, to get this look from Sage, from someone that Cameron had been generous to, giving him the protection, the resources, giving his family the protection, the resources. Sage made the foolish choice of believing his brother, and he was making an idiotic choice to actaully believe what Cameron was saying. He had killed all three of them in quick brutal blows while they were asleep. Not a sound had come from them before he had left the house and returned home that day.

Cameron stepped back, looking over his work- at the demon’s skin soaked in black blood and tears, voice hoarse and ragged as he tried breathing through blood filled lungs. Cameron once again called for Sazra, had her heal him, before checking the time. It was closing in on time to go make sure Nik hadn’t killed himself yet. Instead of picking right back up, Cameron decidedly bit down on Sage’s throat, sending venom into his bloodstream, and went back upstairs.

-----

Ash was still bitter about a good number of things this past week. Between not being able to save Lev and Bay growling and threatening to bite him anytime he went near Lucas, to his wife also being pissy in her pregnancy, Ash was going to lose his damn mind, especially when he was now hauling a wasted and bleeding Nik from yet another bar fight. “How the fuck are you this wounded,” Ash demanded, dropping Nik down on the couch. “I thought you were good at fighting.”

He could feel Nik looking up at him. Damn near had a clear image of Nik’s face just through the number of wounds on his skin. “That,” Nik said, barely intelligible, “Is the point.”

Ash gave him a flat look and pointed at him. “I am not your mother, Nikolas. I swear, if you keep doing this I will beat your ass. Do not expect me to heal you from this.”

Nik’s drunken, half smile sent a streak of fire down Ash’s spine. “Do you really think Mami would actually be helping me right now?”

“Pity party does not look good on you,” Ash said, ignoring the obvious bait that Nik was trying to set him off with.

Nik shrugged and crumbled back against the couch. “Everything looks good on me,” he sighed, turning into the couch.

Oh no you don’t, Ash thought.

He yanked Nik up so he was sitting and looking up at him. “We’re not finished,” he warned, listening to the footsteps coming into the doorway. Just by the scent of apples and lavender, he knew it was Nate. “Your brother can yell at you, now.”

Nik’s eyes crinkled, despite being completely void of any real emotion. “Can’t wait,” he said. “Maybe you can call Adrien and Amara and my parents in too. I’m sure you all want your turn lecturing me on what a horrible person I am.”

Ash rolled his eyes, but stepped to the side when Nate came in and went to sit next to his brother. He could sense Nate looking Nik over, the concern mixed with exasperation was clear in his scent. “You’re going to give me a heart attack,” Nate sighed.

“I’m sure you’ll live,” Nik said. “Now if you both excuse me,” - Nik was struggling to his feet, only for Nate to hook a hand in him and shove him back down onto the couch. “Will you both stop it, I’m fine,” Nik snapped. “I’m alive, aren’t I.”

Both he and Nate said, “Debatable.”

“I think you want to make yourself as miserable as possible,” Nate said. “You can’t bring him back, and the guilt is eating you alive. Nik- he. Lev wouldn’t want you to be killing yourself like this.”

“Good thing about being dead,” Nik said, coldly, ��Don’t have to want anything.” He tried getting up and this time Nate let him, but Ash hooked his fingers in Nik’s forearm before he could land flat on his face, trying to storm past him. “Let me go.”

Ash forced his healing magic into Nik, healing the cuts, the bruises, the broken and fractured bones, before moving to Nik’s booze soaked brain and healing it. “That’ll do it,” Ash said, letting Nik go when Nik was stone cold sober again.

Nik shoved Ash hard enough Ash nearly fell back a few feet. He retaliated and shoved Nik down on the couch before Nate instantly was moving to get between the two of them. “Both of you- stop it right now. I will not ask again.”

“I did not say you could heal me,” Nik snapped.

“Oh no,” Ash said, unfazed. “Whatever will you do now that you’re sober and not a walking corpse. Maybe thank me instead of letting your ass die of alcohol poisoning?”

“You only healed me to piss me off, you fucker.”

Ash smiled. “You caught me.”

Nik snarled at him, and Ash bared his teeth, but Nate seemed to struggle on what side of the argument he fell on. Finally he said, “You both need to stop it. Just- I am dealing with a newborn on top of a grieving Silas and just- it is not anyone’s fault that Lev is dead,” he said, sharply. “Nik, you need to stop being this damn pathetic mess that I know you are better than. I am tired of cleaning up after you and I am tired of having to listen to Ash bitch and moan about you off trying to kill yourself. If I had half the mind, I’d sicc Adrien on you.” Adrien, who didn’t touch drugs or alcohol in any capacity- outside of cigarettes.

“Ah yes,” Nik deadpanned. “Sic the alpha with even more anger issues than me and Ash combined on me. Fan- fucking- tastic idea.”

Nate went quiet just long enough for Ash to clear his vision in time to see Nate get to his feet and shove Nik against the wall, tattooed fingers digging tight into Nik’s leather jacket. “I am trying to help you,” he whispered harshly. “Ash is trying to help you. Lev-” His voice cut off instantly and he looked so pained.

Nik looked up at his brother. “Can you see Lev?”

“No,” Nate said. Ash narrowed his eyes, but Nate continued, “No I can’t. He- must have moved on.”

Ash couldn’t tell if Nik looked even more grief-stricken or relieved. He let out a ragged breath before pushing against Nate. “Let me go. I want to go home. Cam’s probably gonna get pissy that I’m not there to eat his damn food.”

Nate seemed to hesitate, but reluctantly let Nik go. “If I let you leave this house, you go home,” he said. “Promise?”

Nik straightened his jacket and put a hand over his heart. “Oh, you have my word,” he said, solemnly.

Nate sighed tiredly. “Ash, keep an eye on things while I drive him home.”

“Have fun,” Ash said. “I’ll go get glared at by Bay.”

------

Bay was so damn bone tired, and it didn’t help that he was still so raw from being cut open, but he hadn’t let Nate or Ash help him with Lucas. He nearly tore Ash’s arm off with his teeth for going anywhere near his baby. Nate may or may not have had to stop him before Ash got an armful of teeth.

Lucas was so quiet on his chest, so small, while he carried him to the nursery. The sentries didn’t move from their posts and barely acknowledged them as Bay went past them to push open the nursery door. Eden was standing up in the crib, small fingers clenched into the bars while she hammered on, “DADADADADADA” again and again.

Bay sighed deeply and carefully went to lay his very quiet, very well behaved baby down in his crib before going to pick up the tiny monster rocking back and forth. He was careful about reopening his wounds as he went to change her and get her cleaned up. “Are you just going to live here from now on,” Bay asked, struggling her into a onesie.

She kept up her babbling over his shoulder as he picked her back up again, getting ready to put her down for the night. He had been following Cameorn’s schedule, just to keep Cameron from getting too pissy about it. They both had enough to worry about, and he didn’t feel like listening to Cameron bitch when he had a newborn to take care of, on top of Cameron’s kid.

Bay settled her on his chest and got the bottle into her mouth. She seemed to settle quickly, her attention elsewhere while he rocked her and fed her. After she finished her bottle, and he got her into bed, he double checked the temperature before going to settle on the couch with a blanket. Bay’s eyes closed slowly with the thought of Nate having to come get him for bed.

Again.

-------

tagging: @idreamonpaper @incandescent-creativity @livvywrites @solangelo3088 @halstudies @alittleyellowdinosaur

[callunavulgari]

“Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together.”

Heather’s Top 50 Songs of 2019!

dark night — philip sheppard // curse of the i-5 corridor — neko case // way down we go — kaleo // almost — hozier // dancing in a room — ezi // epic (pt ii) — anais mitchell & justin vernon // spanish sahara — foals // obstacles — syd matters // tom thumb — bitter ruin // wolves of the revolution — the arcadian wild // epic (pt iii) — anais mitchell, justin vernon // the spine — darren korb & ashley barrett // don’t think twice — hikaru utada // face my fears — hikaru utada // waves — chloe moriondo // ashes — bear mccreary // wake up, moving on — kevin penkin // paper boats — darren korb & ashley barrett // call off your ghost — dessa // power over me — dermot kennedy // a future for the krogan — christopher lennertz // mine — bazzi // bite — charlie cunningham // wait for me — andre de shields // birds — imagine dragons & elisa // crazy — patsy cline //  bury a friend — billie eilish // the seed — aurora // eleventh dimension — julian casablancas // sunflower — post malone // what’s up danger — blackway, black caviar // bad guy — billie eilish // elevate — dj khalil // must’ve been — chromeo // dark matter — les friction // lark of my heart — eliza rickman // dancing on my own — robyn //  hungover in the city of dust — autoheart // season of the witch — lana del rey // bird song — juniper vale // paradise valley — honey & the sting // my hallelujah — autoheart // furthest star — dirt poor robins // play dirty — kevin mcallister // it’s quiet uptown — kelly clarkson // pas de deux — michael abels // i got 5 on it — michael abels, luniz, mi // one day more — les mis cast // into the unknown — idina menzel, aurora // show yourself — idina menzel & evan rachel wood

short version | long version | youtube | spotify unwrapped

long version will lead you to the 165 song, 10 hour and 34 minute playlist which i’ve been slowly adding to since january. short version will lead you to what you see here. youtube will lead you to the playlist you see here but... wait for it... on youtube. mostly because i know not everyone has spotify. spotify unwrapped will lead you to a mixture of the long and the short version, which is pretty bloated with austin wintory songs because those are what i listen to when i write or read usually.

the long version is much improved in length from last year, which was 261 songs and 17 hours, but that’s mostly because august through december i was pretty bad at keeping track of the music that caught my attention. whoops.

and under the cut is me ranting about music, like usual. enjoy!

i. dark night || philip sheppard *instrumental*

This was my absolute favorite from the Detroit: Become Human soundtrack. I tended to prefer Kara’s songs most because they were gorgeous and haunting and just plain fantastic. Connor’s songs were mostly listened to while writing for the fandom, but Kara’s songs were what I kept coming back to. ii. curse of the i-5 corridor || neko case So I left home and faked my ID I fucked every man that I wanted to be

Sometime in January, I fell in love with eighteen wheels on an uphill climb, which was a 91k hank/connor wip by blackeyedblonde. Hank’s a trucker. Connor occasionally dabbles in sex work to keep himself alive and moving. But like, it’s so much more than that? Anyway, at some point the author linked to this song. I think it may have been on tumblr, but I fell in love with it and neko case.

iii. way down we go || kaleo Oh, 'cause they will run you down, down 'til the dark Yes and they will run you down, down 'til you fall And they will run you down, down 'til you go Yeah, so you can't crawl no more

Speaking of Detroit: Become Human (sensing a theme?), this fanvideo is one of my favorite things in the world. I had it and a couple other fantastic videos like it playing in the background while writing for the fandom. This video, in fact, is what finally made me go in search of the game. iv. almost (sweet music) || hozier The same kind of music haunts her bedroom I'm almost me again, she's almost you Wasteland, Baby was a thing that happened to me. Which would have already been enough to get it on this list, but I also listened to it on repeat while writing my first DBH fic. v. dancing in a room || ezi I know you notice, notice me I might be broken but it's not showing It's how I'm copin', copin' I don’t actually remember where this one came from. I know that sometime when March is still a bit cold, I listened to a playlist on spotify that I can’t find for the life of me. It had a lot of the songs that are about to come up on it, and before I started exclusively listening to audiobooks while I got ready for work in the morning, I listened to random fantastic playlists. vi. epic (pt ii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon And suddenly Hades was only a man with a taste of nectar upon his lips

Hadestown was also a thing that happened to me. This song makes me fucking weak. All of the lyrics are great, the whole song is gorgeous and haunting and so perfect it hurts, but those lyrics above are just *chefs kiss* vii. spanish sahara || foals Forget the horror here Leave it all down here It's future rust and it's future dust

Sometime during the spring, I played Life Is Strange and had a million and one feelings. I played both options for the ending and each one was gut wrenching in its own way. I think I still prefer the one where Chloe lives, but this song has literally haunted me ever since.

viii. obstacles || syd matters Someday we will foresee obstacles Through the blizzard, through the blizzard And this is the song that plays if you make the other choice. Again, SUPER TRAGIC, but also you know. You get to keep your girlfriend. ix. tom thumb || bitter ruin And I know I'll be burnt, but I can stand a flame or two to catch you

This was one of the songs that I discovered on the mysterious spotify playlist! Something I’d forgotten: I discovered Hadestown off of that playlist. Thanks, mystery playlist. You gave me all the ear worms. x. wolves of the revolution || the arcadian wild You're trapped inside of your own heart It's a spectators sport, just play your part You guessed it - from the mystery playlist. They’re all very reminiscent of the Hadestown soundtrack. Vaguely eerie, kind of haunting, a lot beautiful. Makes you feel like you’re a forest creature living on the edge of the swamp. You know: the aesthetic. xi. epic (pt iii) || anais mitchell & justin vernon Where is the treasure inside your chest? Where is your pleasure? Where is your youth? Where is the man with his hat in his hands? Who stands in the garden with nothing to lose I thought about only including this one instead of including part 2, but in the end I loved both too much to choose. Hadestown, man. I hope it comes to Ohio at some point in the near future. xii.  the spine || darren korb & ashley barrett Fingers tied themselves in knots around the heart It beats in time I see the spine of the world

I have never actually played Transistor, which is fucking tragic because I listened to basically the entire soundtrack over and over again for the entire year. There’s at least one more song from the game on this list, but it is really wonderful. Haunting vocals, perfect for writing or reading or driving.  xiii. don’t think twice || hikaru utada I'm only crying 'cause I never dreamed It'd take this long, it'd take this long Hi, I played Kingdom Hearts 3 this year. And I cried so fucking much. I had some issues with the game, namely how the ending was such a clusterfuck of boss fight after boss fight and emotional character arc resolutions so it all felt kind of rushed? But the gameplay was superb, the selfie thing was ingenious, and I did cry at least six different times while I was stressing my way through fighting boss fights with blurry eyes. xiv. face my fears || hikaru utada Oh, let me face, let me face, let me face my fears Won't be long, won't be long, I'm almost here Watch me cry all my tears

So like, if you care at all you’ve probably already seen it, but the opening cutscene of KH3 was to Face My Fears, and I’m gonna be real honest here - I didn’t like it at first. I moaned and groaned about Skrillex and how it was nothing like Simple and Clean or Passion/Sanctuary. But it grew on me to the point that it was actually my most listened to song this year. Watch me cry all my tears, indeed. xv. waves || chloe moriondo Make me into more than a goner Perhaps a little bit stronger Thicker skin, less needy, And maybe to not bruise so damn easily, but you can't

I don’t remember where I found this song either? Maybe mystery playlist but probably not. Either way, it’s pretty and uh, I too want to slow the world down. xvi. ashes || bear mccreary -instrumental- Man, oh man, let’s talk about how good of a game God of War was. It was so good, guys. The game play was excellent, the world was gorgeous, and the storyline was interesting. And the music went so, so hard. Between Horizon Zero Dawn and the new God of War, I have basically been ruined for all other games. Also, dad protagonists, am I right? xvii. wake up, moving on || kevin penkin -instrumental-

Did not actually realize this was part of a soundtrack to a game? But it’s very lilty. Has that French quirky romcom vibe to it and I listened to the crap out of it in early summer. xviii. paper boats || darren korb & ashley barrett The river always finds the sea So helplessly Like you find me

Another Transistor song. I really love Ashley Barrett’s voice. I should probably at some point play the game. xix. call off your ghost || dessa I hope she makes you happy It's just a lot to ask to watch your future walking past me

This song played during one of the weather segments of Welcome to Night Vale and made me remember how much I absolutely adore Dessa. Her voice is fantastic and I love the way that her songs flow. Also, this song gives me personal feels. xx. power over me || dermot kennedy I wanna be king in your story I wanna know who you are I want your heart to beat for me I have absolutely no idea where I heard this one. It might have been playing on the radio while I was driving somewhere? I played it a lot during the summer.  xxi. a future for the krogan || christopher lennertz -instrumental- It’s been a while since I played Mass Effect, but this song came up on a writing playlist and I have been listening to it ever since.

xxii. mine || bazzi Running circles 'round my mind Even when it's rainy all you ever do is shine

Shrug emoji. 

xxiii. bite || charlie cunningham Stone cold faces let you keep you poisoning your blood Cut you open then you'll see poison in your blood

Also shrug emoji? Most of the time when I’m doing these there’s fandom connatations to half the songs, but these year I wasn’t heavily invested in a whole lot of fandoms so these are mostly just songs I listened to while I was a) driving, b) in the shower, or c) while reading.

xxiv. wait for me || andre de shields Ain't no compass, brother, there ain't no map Just a telephone wire and the railroad track Keep on walking and you don't look back

And here’s the last Hadestown song on the list. It’s just... really good, okay. Really, really good. xxv. birds || imagine dragons & elisa Seasons, they will change Life will make you grow Dreams will make you cry, cry, cry

I think there’s been an Imagine Dragons song on here every year since they came out with Radioactive. This is the only song of theirs I heard this year, but pairing their voice with Elisa’s was fucking genius because this song makes me feel the chorus in my soul. xxvi. crazy || patsy cline You'd love me as long as you wanted And then some day You'd leave me for somebody new I was at a bar, and my friend has just announced that he was getting married to his girlfriend of ten years in Vegas, on a ferris wheel, by an Elvis impersonator. We started listening to Elvis songs to figure out what he’d play, and then we got distracted listening to a bunch of old love songs. This one is more heartbreak than love, but I’ve always loved Patsy’s voice. xxvii. bury a friend || billie eilish Bury a friend, try to wake up

I was really slow to the Billie Eilish train. One of my friends recommended her music and it’s just so chaotic and fantastic that I can’t believe I didn’t fall for it earlier. This song in particular was a Billy Hargrove song for a while.

xxviii. the seed || aurora Feed me sunlight, feed me air In a place where nothing matters Feed me truth and feed me prayer Aurora’s got one of those truly lovely voices. Also I like songs about how the earth should eat humanity.

xxix.  eleventh dimension || julian casablancas 'Cause no one really cares or wonders why anymore Oh, I got music, coming out of my hands and feet and kisses

Back in 2011, when I was still watching Doctor Who, someone made this video which blew my little heart away. I rediscovered this song while we were driving back to Ohio from our annual beach trip and managed to get everyone in the car hooked on it for weeks afterwards.

xxx. sunflower || post malone You're a sunflower I think your love would be too much

Into the Spiderverse! Was so! Good! 

xxxi. what’s up danger || blackway, black caviar I like it all on the edge just like you, ayy I like tall buildings so I can leap off of 'em

So like, that scene, right? The one that had everyone losing their collective shit? I saw gifs before I watched the movie, and goddamn, it lived up to every single expectation I ever had. I made Nick watch it with me, and he groaned a lot because honestly he is not the biggest fan of super hero movies, but even he admitted that it was the best damn Spiderman movie we’d ever seen. It was powerful and clever and heartwarming and funny and the music and animation were both fan-freaking-tastic.

xxxii. bad guy || billie eilish I'm the bad guy, duh Can you believe that I actually didn’t know about this video until @nijuukoo did art? I mean, I’d definitely heard it and liked it before hand, but the fucking video, man. That pic of Vanitas showering Ven in hearts is still the background of my desktop.(It would have been the one of him sitting on Ansem while he’s doing push ups, but it didn’t work with my screen)

xxxiii. elevate || dj khalil I jump off this building to save these civilians My strength and my honor is trusted by children I'm ready and willing to fight all these villains No chaos or killings, my style is so brilliant I really, really liked the music to Into the Spiderverse.

xxxiv. must’ve been || chromeo I must've been high when I met you Out of my mind when I decided to love you

There was a Harringrove fic that I read during the summer that made the connection between this song and modern AU Billy and Steve. I thought it was @lymricks but maybe not. Either way - I listened to this for like three weeks straight while reading about Billy and Steve flirting at the pool. Ha! Found it - you, through half-shut eyes by @brawlite.

xxxv. dark matter || les friction Bring me your soul, bring me your hate In my name you will create Bring me your fear, bring me your pain You will destroy in my name

There was an Outsider fanvid. I tripped over it.

xxxvi. lark of my heart || eliza rickman Lark of my heart - dance in the dark and say you love me Lark of my heart - right from the start and say you love me

This one was another that I found on a random playlist while I was reading and I just love the rhythm of the song. I sat right up and favorited that sucker before I lost it.

xxxvii. dancing on my own — robyn I'm just gonna dance all night I'm all messed up, I'm so outta line Stilettos on broken bottles I'm spinning around in circles Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So there was that tumblr post that went around a while back where a bunch of subway riders who just got back from a Robyn concert started singing while waiting for the train and I just. It makes me so fucking happy. Like, I remember the night I clicked on that video. I’d never heard the song before, but I didn’t need to because the level of fucking joy and unity in that video literally brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes, humans are fucking beautiful.

xxxviii. hungover in the city of dust || autoheart We’re hungover in the city of dust So let our minds run round in circles While we figure it all out

I really adore autoheart. They did Sailor Song, which was on my Top Songs post last year and honestly, according to the plays on spotify, probably should have still been on my list this year, but alas - this is the abridged version. Every song I’ve heard from them I’ve loved. The entire bridge makes me shiver, it’s just so wonderfully executed.

xxxix. season of the witch || lana del rey You've got to pick up every stitch, The rabbits running in the ditch, Oh no, must be the season of the witch In October I watched Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark and it was super spooky and really great and probably one of the best movies I saw this year? But like, also this cover by Lana del Rey was the best damn thing about it. Someone made a witchy video that was great too but I can’t find it now. xl. bird song || juniper vale Listen to the sound of my heart beat slow Yeah, my heart's like yours, my heart's like yours Listen to the sound, oh it feels like home When our hearts beat slow together

I really like Juniper Vale. I found them last year when I stumbled across their cover of Singing In The Rain, and they churn out some really quality music.

xli. paradise valley || honey & the sting So you'll have to hold me down Could you just hold me down build the levees higher This song was always going to make it to 2019′s list too. It’s just too damn good. Thank you, Wolf 359. You’ve given me a gift that is still giving three years later.

xlii. my hallelujah || autoheart Thought I found a new religion In you who was I kidding There's nowhere to go Except for under quarantine

More Autoheart! Just listen to that melody! That flow! 

xliii. furthest star || dirt poor robins We'll find our hiding place Clear across the Milky Way Beyond the galaxy On the furthest star that we see

This song reminds me a lot of Muse back in their early days. I was half-napping on the couch listening to, you guessed it, a random playlist on spotify, and I liked this song enough to surface from the edges of slumber to favorite it so I could find it again.

xliv. play dirty || kevin mcallister Would you get the Devil this dance? Would you be a part of his plans? Now you got some blood on your hands

There was a fanvid. It was good and basically caught me up on Preacher. The song is also really catchy.

xlv. it’s quiet uptown || kelly clarkson Look at where we are Look at where we started Last year, this was on my list because of an EOS 10 playlist. This year it’s on my list because I still fucking love it. Also I saw Hamilton this year and it was really phenomenal. I cannot get over how good it was.

xlvi. pas de deux || michael abels -instrumental- I watched Us in late October/early November and this entire sequence was really lovely and eerie and just all around fantastic. I loved the mirroring throughout the movie, and it all came together in this stunning confrontation.

xlvii. i got 5 on it || michael abels, luniz, mi I got five on it

Us had a really good soundtrack.

xlviii. one day more || les mis cast One more dawn One more day One day more!

About a month ago I got to see Les Mis in theater and I cried like six or seven times. That is not an exaggeration I was a fucking mess. As much as I’ve adored every musical I have seen up until this point, I have never had a musical affect me the way this one did. It was incredibly powerful and the experience was worth every damn cent.

xlix. into the unknown || idina menzel, aurora Everyone I've ever loved is here within these walls I'm sorry, secret siren, but I'm blocking out your calls

Like, I know it’s cool to hate on Frozen because it got so popular, but Idina Menzel is a queen with the voice of an angel and I’m sorry, but the movies were good. Also, Elsa is very, very pretty and this shit was very, very gay. 

l. show yourself || idina menzel & evan rachel wood Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more

Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Elsa gets all the best numbers. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, folks. Happy listening.

[foxyotomelady]

Another love, Chapter III (JuminxReader)

Author’s notes:

I hope this chapter is not too chaotic ;-;

Be aware of: strong language, slightly angst, my poor grammar.

And also be ready for THE DRAMA!

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III (You are here) | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV |

Buy Me A Ko-Fi Have a nice reading!

Jumin stared blankly at the documents in front of him, turning the pen in his fingers. He could not concentrate. In the eyes of his imagination, he still had a picture of what a wonderful morning he spent with Y/N.

He made pancakes for her and made her a cup of coffee. There was something extremely pleasant about preparing breakfast for someone else. The more so when this person appreciated the efforts. And she did.

She ate the pancakes with a big smile on her face, and then she began to worry that he would be late for work because of her. How cute. "Mr. Han."  Oh, and how sweet she looked in the pajamas he ordered for her - it was modest and girlish. He wanted to see her in something more defiant, but it was definitely too early for such steps on his part. His boldness would scare her away. "Mr. Han."  Or maybe he was wrong? In the end, she put on a silk dress with her back exposed yesterday.  "Mr Han!" Jaehee suddenly and violently put some papers on his desk. His fingers tightened and the pen jumped out of his hand, then flew across the entire width of the office.

He looked up at Jaehee blankly, "Yes?"  She gave him a strange look, "Your schedule, sir."  "Ah yes, what do we have here today?" He began to glance over the list of meetings, he saw the letters, but he did not really read them, "Nothing particularly important, I'm guessing." Jaehee sighed, apparently disagreeing with him, "Mr. Han, can I ask you something?" 

Jumin straightened in his chair and looked at her in anticipation. He nodded.  "Are you sure it's a good idea for Y/N to stay with you?" Jumin frowned, "What do you expect me to do, Assistant Kang? That I will throw her out on the street? Y/N expressed her obvious anxiousness regarding her returning to her apartment. " 

"She could... Maybe she should stay with someone else during this time?"

"With whom? With Zen or Seven? Then it would not be a problem for you?"

"I think she should rather move to me, it would be more appropriate. Sir, I'm sure you understand what I mean."

Jumin felt like a rage growing in him. He breathed in and massaged his temple, "You really think so low of me, Assistant Kang?" "No, but the media-"

"Yes, I know, the gossips. Gossips have always been spread and will always be. I don't care much about it. "

"It can very badly affect your image and-"

"I don't care!"

Assistant Kang jumped in place, her eyes wide open. Jumin looked at her frozen for a moment. It was the first time he raised his voice at her. He should not have done it. He never wanted to be such a boss. He took a deep breath, "My apology, Assistant Kang, I should not have raised my voice. It was very unprofessional." Jeahee breathed a sigh, but there was an expression of worry on her face, "Mr. Han, are you sure you're all right?" "Yes, I’m all right," He declared though he did not feel right. He was furious. Recently, he was furious all the time. At Yuwoon, for the fact that he simply existed and dared to ever touch Y/N. At Zen, for his silly insinuations. And now at Jaehee, for her wanting to separate him from Y/N. "Cancel my evening meetings, I promised Y/N that I would go with her for her things to that damn apartment."

Your POV 

Jumin's apartment was wonderful and you could go out from it to the gardens on the top floor, but in spite of that you finally got bored. And that was dangerous now, because when you were not busy with anything, unwanted memories were returning to your head.

You wanted to get out of the apartment to go around the building. Maybe you would go shopping, visit a cafe and do some research before returning to your studies. Whatever so that you do not had to think about what happened. But when you opened the door, the security guard blocked your path, "I'm sorry, miss, but Mr. Han clearly told me that you can't leave this apartment." 

You looked at him in shock, "What?" 

The bodyguard, Yoon, the one who carried you on his hands two days ago, cleared his throat, "I can’t let you out, miss." "It must be a misunderstanding..."  "I'm sorry, miss," He really looked like he was sorry. Suddenly, however, he put his hand to the device he had on his ear, "Yes, sir. Yes, immediately. Ms. Y/N, I must escort you to the car, Mr. Han is waiting for you there." "Oh, so now I can suddenly leave?" You snorted.  "Only at Mr. Han's request and in my company." You let the bodyguard lead you to the car, though you did not like what was happening. When you got into the back of the limousine, Jumin greeted you with a smile, "How was your day, Y/N?" You looked at him angrily, "You locked me in your apartment?" 

The expression on his face hardened. The coldness of his eyes scared you a bit, "We'll talk about it later. Now you should try to calm down before we go to your apartment." You only nodded and you said nothing more. You've spent the course to your apartment in complete silence. When you got there, Jumin looked around unpleased. 

"This neighborhood does not look safe, you should move out much earlier." 

"The apartment we rent with Yuwoon is cheap, so..." 

"It's good that you do not have to stay here anymore." You hoped that you would not find anyone at home. You had your keys, so you could get inside easily. However, it turned out that the door was open. Security guards were waiting on the stairs, as Jumin requested, telling them that he'd manage the situation alone. You caught your breath before pushing the door and went inside.  "Who's there?" Yuwoon walked out of the room into the corridor, and when he saw you, he immediately rushed toward you, "Y/N!"  You backed away, and Yuwoon stopped abruptly, turned pale and looked over you. You felt that Jumin stands right behind you and keeps his hand on your shoulder. You tried to get a cold expression on your face, "We're just here for my stuff."  "Honey, who is this?" You heard the woman's voice that you already knew and dinner went up to your throat. A blonde appeared from the room - yes, the one Yuwoon had fucked before your eyes. "Oh my God!" She shouted suddenly. "It's Jumin Han! You didn’t say that that bitch of yours knows Jumin Han!"  While you could not get the word out, Jumin tightened his fingers on your shoulder harder and said coldly, "I strongly advise you not to say about Y/N in this way." You did not know what facial expression Jumin now owned, but the blonde had to be scared because she took a step back. 

"Shut up!" Yuwoon growled at her. "Go to the goddamn bedroom where you belong!" Did he really just say that? You were dizzy. You did not know this side of him. You did not know him at all! You felt that the world is spinning and you're going to collapse, but strong arms caught you before it happened. "Y/N...?" You heard Jumin's worried voice, and then the steps - Yuwoon's probably, "Don't you dare come near her." Now Jumin was furious.  "Mr. Han!" It must have been one of the security guards who were alarmed by the screams.  "Don't interfere. I'll deal with this. Y/N...?" "I... I'm better now... I felt a little dizzy... but it's okay now," You tried to straighten up, in which Jumin helped you with. The blonde was not around, she had to hide in the bedroom. "Are you sure?" Jumin asked, still worried. You nodded and headed to the bedroom, and Jumin and the bodyguards after you. The blonde sat down in the corner, terrified. When you were packing your belongings into a bag you pulled out of the closet, Jumin simply stood silently and watched the situation. Yuwoon paced furiously around the apartment. All this packing took you more time than you would like. You gave the bag to the bodyguard and without a word, everyone headed for the exit. 

"Wait!" Yuwoon called. 

You stopped. The bodyguards were already in the stairwell. You and Jumin still in the apartment corridor. You turned to face your ex-boyfriend. "What do you want?"

"You don’t have to move out, we can still fix it, I'll leave this whore, I love you, not her!" 

You couldn't help but laugh icily, "Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even want to look at you, just leave me alone." After these words, you hurried to the exit, passing Jumin by.  "You stupid bitch, come back here!" Yuwoon shouted and rushed after you.

Then you heard a loud thud. You jumped and turned around to see what happened. Jumin rested his hand on the wall - his arm was blocking Yuwoon's way.

"Are you by any chance deaf?" 

"W-what?" Yuwoon gulped, trembling.

"Didn't the lady said she want you to leave her alone?"

"I..."

"Also, let me remind you, if you'd try to contact her again, there will be consequences."

Yuwoon only nodded his head and Jumin turned to you and put his arm around you, leading you out of the apartment. When you were already in the limousine, you were sitting stiffly in place. You've never seen Jumin like this before. If Yuwoon wouldn’t give up in time, it would most likely end up in a fight. 

"Y/N?" Jumin's voice took you out of your deep thoughts. 

"How are you feeling? Is everything alright?" 

"Yes. I'm fine... I think." "Did I scare you?"

"No, I was just a little surprised, the whole situation was a nightmare, thank you for accompanying me."

There was silence in Jumin's apartment when you unpacked your things. Then in a similar silence, you ate dinner. 

"Jumin..." You dared finnaly when you were drinking wine together. "Why did you shut me down here like in a prison?" 

Jumin sighed, his eyes closed, "It wasn't meant to be a prison... I just... I was afraid that you would change your mind and go away, that it would come to your mind to get back to that man."

"Why would I want to come back to him? That's ridiculous, Jumin. Besides, we've made a deal, don't you trust me?" 

"I trusted V and Rika... They both turned out to be different than I thought." 

"I trusted Yuwoon and it turned out that I didn't really know him at all, we are on the same boat, Jumin, if others let us down, let's try to show ourselves that it doesn't always have to be that way."

"You’re saying the sweetest things, Y/N."

"I want you to feel better with yourself, but closing me down here is not a good way."

Jumin put down his glass of wine and pressed his hand to his closed eyes, "I know you're right, it's extremely difficult for me, I know it’s all happening so quickly, but once you're within my reach, I cannot imagine letting you out of my grasp."

You inhaled deeply into your lungs, took a sip of wine and decided to play open cards. You were not stupid. You saw what was happening, though perhaps Jumin himself did not understand it yet, "Jumin... Do you have feelings for me?"

He looked up at you slowly. For a moment he only opened his mouth, as if he could not get a word out of himself, but finally, he began to talk, "I can’t call it in one word, but... You're definitely special to me, I've never met someone as warm and gentle as you. All the threads that have strangled me so far, when you're close... they are tearing apart. It's extraordinary... I feel happy with you, and at the same time terrified... "

"Terrified?" You asked, sad.

"That you will leave me..."

You felt agitated, touched, "Oh, Jumin... I will never leave you, I promise, it's too soon for me to... determine my feelings for you, but you will never lose me, certainly not as a friend."

"I'm not sure if... friendship alone is enough for me," He declared and pierced you with an intense stare. You felt the chills flow down your neck, you blushed.

"I do not want to promise you anything, Jumin, but for starters... You have to understand that you can't keep me here like a cat. Closed. That's not how a healthy relationship should look. You have to trust me."

"I'll try, give me a chance, I'm constantly learning how to reconcile trust and anxiety about you." ***

When you finished your supper, you took a shower, changed into your pajamas and sat comfortably on the bed. You logged in to the chat room.

[Y/N has entered the chat room]

You: What a nightmare...

Zen: What happened, baby? T-T

You: I went for my belongings to the apartment that I rented with Yuwoon.

Zen: Oh... It must have been awkward.

You: Yes, all the more that girl was there...

Zen: The one with whom he..?

You: Yeah...

Zen: I'm so sorry, baby

Zen:

You: Yuwoon turned out to be someone completely strange to me. He showed that side of himself that I had not known before.

Zen: I don't want you to take my words the wrong way, but ...

Zen: Maybe it's a good thing that you two broke up...

Zen: Looks like he was not worthy of you anyway.

Zen: And when your broken heart is healed

Zen: You will definitely find someone who will make you happy

Zen: 

[Jumin Han has entered the chat room]

Jumin Han: Are you suggesting yourself, Zen?

Zen: 

Zen: chill out, I'm not suggesting anyone

Zen: anyway, dude, what's your problem?

Jumin Han: You can interpret it as me not liking it.

Zen: not liking what? ;;;

Jumin Han: you talking to her that way.

Zen: If you don't like it, just say it.

Jumin Han: I don't like it.

Zen: …

You: Jumin, you're cute when you're jealous ^^

You: But there is no need.

Zen: 

Zen: WAIT, what is happening between you two?

Jumin Han: jealous?

Jumin Han: So that's what I feel... Interesting.

Jumin Han: oh, Elizabeth the 3rd is meowing loudly at the door.

Jumin Han: I think she's longing for your company, Y/N

You: cuuute <3

You: Should I go to her?

Jumin Han: Yes, I think she'll be pleased if you take her to your bed.

You: Okay ^^ I'll be there in a minute~

Zen: NO!

Zen: STOP!

Zen: Do not go to him!

Zen: It's an obvious trap!

Zen: This jerk wants to lure you!

Zen: You go straight into the lion's den!

[Jumin Han has left the chat room]

Zen:

Zen: NOOO

You: You're overreacting as always, Zen ^^

[Y/N has left the chat room]

You left the phone on the bed and went to the guest room. Your heart was beating hard. What exactly were you doing? You shouldn't... You knew that Jumin felt something for you. But you were not even sure of your own feelings yet... You shouldn't!

But there you were, knocking on the door, "May I come in?"

"Yes, of course," Was his voice trembling?

You pushed the door and Elizabeth ran out of the room. She ignored you. Apparently, she just wanted to leave, not necessarily because she wants to spend time with you. You stepped into the room, mouth tight with nerves. The light of the lamp illuminated the surroundings. Jumin slowly got out of bed and stopped in front of you.

You laughed nervously and put a strand of hair behind your ear, "I think she's got enough of me."

"It's impossible," He replied and took a step closer to you. "No one could ever have enough of you."

Timidly you looked into his gray eyes, "Jumin..."

"Y/N, may I kiss you?"

Taken aback by his words, you opened your eyes wide.

"I know it's sudden. I know you're still healing after Yuwoon. But I wanted to kiss you even then in the rain when you stood in front of me so vulnerable and wounded. I don't know if I wouldn't do it if it weren't for bodyguards."

You did not know what to say, your heart was pounding wildly, Jumin was even closer to you now and gently took your face in his hands, "I really didn’t like how Zen talked to you."

You looked at his lips, then at his eyes. You wanted this kiss.

"May I...?" He repeated.

"Yes..." You barely finished talking when his mouth was next to yours, your breathing became one. Then you felt his lips on yours and it was like an impulse.

You clung to each other suddenly, Jumin embraced you on the waist, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. His kiss was greedy, he took your breath away.

"I want you..." He panted between the next, more and more roughly kisses. "I want all of you…"

"J-Jumin..." You tried to answer something but he immediately shut your mouth with his own. You whined, clenched your hands on his shoulders. You were so dizzy... It was too much emotion for one day!

Jumin reached down to your thigh, and you instinctively put it on his hip. He growled and pressed your hips to his. When did this kiss turn into something like that?

"Jumin... That's too fast..." You tried to reason with him, although you did not want him to stop. You kissed once again, hard, and Jumin slowly withdrew his head.

"I'm... I'm sorry..." He breathed, his voice hoarse. "I... I got carried away."

He slowly let go of your leg and waist, and you were still resting your hands on his chest for a moment. You both were breathing loudly and you were sure your face is as red as a tomato.

"I... I should..." You started, not looking at him.

"Yes," He said, interrupting you. "You should go to bed. I'm barely controlling myself right now."

"Good night, Jumin..." You whispered and turned quickly at your heel. You left the guest room quickly, unintentionally slamming the door behind you. You almost ran to the bed and fell on it, then put your head into the pillow and closed your eyes.

You were sure of only one thing. You will not get any sleep tonight.

[dukeofishgard]

interesting oc questions that can be found here! first few will be outside a cut then rest under a cut! 

On a scale of “is occasionally forced to bathe” to “Instagram model with sponsors to hoe for” how involved is your OC’s Skincare routine?

Duke is super big on his hygiene. For one, he’s obviously from nobility so... he just grew up practicing good hygiene. However, after being cursed and developing a penchant for dying in horrific ways, he became much more obsessed with cleanliness. He’s always worried that he may smell bloody or otherwise slightly like death. So he takes extreme measures to try and keep that at bay. 

What are your OC’s food preferences (flavors/textures/spiciness/calories/ when and how they eat) and how did they get that way?

Duke has a pretty broad taste, and will try pretty much anything at least once. He does tend to be drawn to spicier foods, and heavily seasoned dishes as his tastebuds (through various ways) are not quite as robust as they used to be. So he tends to like strongly flavored dishes. He also tends to like meatier dishes as well- often with a good hunk of bread to mop up the juices. He grew up eating rich dishes thanks to his upbringing, and enjoyed sneaking into the kitchen to see how things were made. This made him popular as a Captain as he’d often find ways to spice up rations given during the War and often went out of his way to hunt for proper meat for his soldiers. Now as an immortal, he’s traveled all across Hydaelyn and enjoys trying new dishes from different cultures. Again as his tastebuds aren’t that great, he can tolerate most things. He’s definitely the type of guy who likes that one dish that the majority can’t stand. 

What’s something pointless/petty/unimportant that IRRATIONALLY ANNOYS THE HELL out of your OC?

I’ve never really thought about this because he’s such an easy-going person and isn’t phased by most things really. However, probably how Dracyn will tidy up his desk for him. Duke is, by habit now, just a generally messy person. He tends to just leave things scattered about on his desk, papers and such. So when Dracyn tidies things up, even tho Duke knows it should look nice and not a trainwreck, it annoys him because he then can’t find anything. it may be a mess, but it’s his mess and he knows where everything is god dammit.  What’s your OC’s response to being asked for money by a homeless person?

He will literally give said homeless person all the money he currently has on him, ask for the person’s name and then likely do his best to get them into housing and find a job. He does this often. On one hand he’s genuinely just that sort of person, but it also is another way for him to use the endless amounts of money he’s made being immortal. Better in the hands of those who need it more than him. Does your OC get lost easily? What do they do when they do get lost?

Nah. He’s got a good sense of direction. If he ever gets ‘lost’ it’s on purpose for adventure purposes. 

What would STOP your OC from Doing The Right Thing in a tense situation?

Duke is at his core, completely and one hundred percent a goody-two shoes. The only situation I can think of, of him hesitating is a completely hypothetical and would, at this point, only happen in an AU. And that would be if Dracyn ever completely snapped. It’s been a big thing between the two of them that Duke insists he could never kill or ‘put down’ Dracyn if Dracyn were to ever fall back into his old ways, despite Dracyn asking him too. Duke insists that he could always bring Dracyn back. So, again, were Dracyn ever to fall back onto his old ways, and Duke had to choose between killing Dracyn and saving people from Dracyn, it’d be a really be a stopping point of Duke not being able to make a very rational choice. He’d likely end up trying to simply hide Dracyn from the world rather than forcing himself to kill Dracyn. :\ But again, this would likely only happen in an AU because their relationship currently is very even and there’s not anything that comes to mind that Dracyn and I have planned that would ever trigger Dracyn to just totally lose it.

Realistically, could your OC (in their normal circumstances- i.e. at thier own house/battlecamp/spaceship etc.) keep a small child alive for a week if they had to?  A Dog?  A Houseplant? A rock with a  smiley face painted on? Yes. Duke was a father, and is currently once again taking it on again after marrying Dracyn, taking care of his step-children. Despite his heavy reservations on being a father again after the death of his children, Duke is quite good at taking care of others, and a good father. He also is fairly good with plants- he tends roses back home at Ishgard. If your OC had to take the S.A.T. tomorrow with one night to prep, how would they do?  both emotionally and academically. He’d likely do just fine. He’s a smart cookie, and emotionally, he wouldn’t really care if he did well or poorly. At least now in his life lol. Growing up he may have been more worried, but again- he was always pretty intelligent and studious. So even with only one night to cram, I think he’d be fine.   What would cause your OC to chose to do something petty/pointlessly cruel?

The only time Duke is ever pointlessly cruel is if someone’s pushed him to that point. I.E, when people threaten the people he loves. He’s normally pretty quick to kill an enemy, but you threaten someone he loves and he will get vicious and make sure it’s painful. He once shoved himself further onto a bandit’s blade and then jammed a hidden dagger into the man’s neck as painfully as he could. When Dracyn was kidnapped, Duke, despite getting injured, was one step away, had his stepdaughter not blasted the guy out of the ship, he would have grabbed the kidnapper and continued to stab the man repeatedly, over and over again. His cruelty is truly only shown when someone has wronged someone he either cares about or hurt innocents.  As for being petty, Duke can be very Ishgardian and can be incredibly petty and huffy if someone insults him lol. On a scale of “Complete and Justified nervous breakdown” to “Conquer The Entire Galaxy and become an Immortal God-Emperor”, how well would your OC handle being abducted by Aliens? He’d probably just sigh and be like “okay well this is at least something new and exciting after a thousand years.”  What song is 100% guaranteed to get your OC beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and embarrassingly, either in public or the shower? Uhhh, hard to say because of XIV’s setting? Ye old Ishgardian ballads? lmao idk! likely any song that gets performed at Lucky Sparrow, and likely a lot of the group numbers he helps out with likely get practiced loudly in the shower. What perfectly-normal-to-them-thing does your OC do that confuses/pisses off/terrifies thier neighbors? Showing up alive outside tending the gardens when the day before he showed up with various, mortal injuries that surely would have killed any other normal person. “But- you- you had a sword- sticking out your head! I saw it! In one side out the other!” “Yes well. I got better. Do you think these roses are looking a bit down? Maybe I should add some blood to the soil...”  Under what circumstances would your OC appear naked in public? When he was younger, his second in command, and lover, Etienne convinced him to run naked through the Foundation while they were back in Ishgard on leave. The entire squad was drunk and only wore their dragoon helmets. So, basically he needs to be drunk and the person asking him to do it, needs to be the man he’s madly in love with lmao.  What thing did your OC’s parents do that your OC wishes they had a better explanation for? Duke actually, genuinely holds no ill-will towards his parents. And it’s not even a matter of the fact that they’re dead and long dead at that, so his grievances have been to put to bed. He just genuinely loved his parents, and they genuinely loved him back as well. They did their best for their son, and their only real ‘fuck-up’ was the arranged marriage to Antoinette, but Duke realizes that they were tricked into believing she was sane. Other than that, he knows they loved him very much and when he asked for help, even when he asked for help to keep his children, Minette and Alitte safe- (a huge risk at the time) they always came through. How often does your OC “zone out” or do things on autopilot and how severe have the problems that have arisen from that been? Usually pretty often. Being immortal and living for so long, sometimes mundane things just sort of... start to all bleed together. He’s definitely accidentally cut himself in various ways while cooking because he’s not paying attention, and he doesn’t quite feel pain as easily as others. How strong or weak is your OC’s Impulse control? What’s the worst thing that happened becuase of thier Impulsivity or inability to be so? It’s pretty weak. It’s gotten better now that he’s remarried, and he knows Dracyn would be upset if something happened to him despite being immortal. But before he met Dracyn, he was incredibly impulsive and would often times throw himself into situations that would end up with him dead and or seriously maimed. These days he’s a touch more restrained if only because he doesn’t want to explain to his husband why he’s got a gaping, bloody hole in his chest. How does your OC sabotage themselves? Prior to getting married, Duke would often sabotage relationships and friendships if he started to feel cornered and ‘too happy’ His greatest fear is always seeing the ones he loves growing old and die. Sometimes he could handle it, other times he would clam up and simply... leave, with no explanation. Just in the middle of the night, leave without a word, and often go to the Fury’s Gaze in Coerthas where he’d forcefully and continually commit suicide as an extremely unhealthy way to cope with the feelings of loss and grief over once again, not letting himself get close to people in fear of their eventual death. What’s the trashiest item in your OC’s wardrobe, when was the last time they wore it and why do they still have it? Duke has many trashy items in his wardrobe as he is A. immortal and thus has to change his style in accordance with the times and B. He does not get rid of anything.  As such, he has some incredibly questionable fashion choices in his closet, and insists on keeping them in case they one day come back in fashion. How Dehydrated is your OC right now? Are they going to fix this? Duke is always teetering usually on the edge of dehydration. He’s gotten better about accidentally starving himself, mainly because he has his family he eats with every day, and thus, he eats with them even though he can go a bit longer without eating. Staying hydrated however, he can be a bit forgetful. As he’s immortal, and can’t die from it really, he’s gotten used to going without for longer periods of time, and sometimes just doesn’t recognize the signs. Thankfully he has a husband that typically reminds him if he’s looking a bit peak. It’s not intentional, it’s just one of those weird things he just forgets after being immortal for so long.  What’s your OC smell like?  no, not that “Vanilla and Anxiety” evocative stuff, realistically.  Body odor? what have they been touching all day? When was thier last shower? Did they put on any kind of artificial scent? I’ve always headcanoned Duke’s smells very specifically- and spoke about it under the hygiene question. Duke typically always has an underlying odd smell, often times like blood, occasionally a bit more... dead. This stems A. from his curse and B. the fact he tries(ed) to kill himself so often. He’s very self conscience about it, as he knows he may not be able to smell it himself as he’s kind of used too it. So he’s pretty obsessive about washing up. He typically smells of leather due to what he wears, and often like chocolate and cinnamon from his baking. He also probably has a fancy cologne he wears, probably a floral/rose scent.  This is also the reason he’s typically a bit iffy around animals, as animals can typically detect the underlying smell on him and ofc are like “the fuck is this unnatural dead dude.” Miqo’te might be a bit more sensitive around him too, but again- he takes GREAT pains to mask it.  ---------

feel free to steal and do yourself! tag me if you do cos i love reading shit like this!!!! 

[covenofthearticulate]

BAT!!! VAN HELSING!!!!!

Van Helsing: What vampire movie/book/tv show do you dislike the most? Okay I wouldn’t say I hate Twilight as like a book series because it was fine (and by fine I mean the content was pretty harmless and even though the vampires were totally off in terms of lore and what not, they weren’t like...too cringey at first). But I hated the fucking Twilight fandom because like even though it was one of the first fandoms I was in, and I was super excited to be a part of it, I absolutely hated the way everyone objectified Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner?? Like, at the height of the fandom, there were grown ass women that were twice his age sending him fanmail saying they wanted to fuck him and it was just like super uncomfortable and out of control.Bat: What is your best ability as a human? Shit dude, idk?? One of my strengths that I always find amusing is, according to the Cliffton Strength Finder test, I’m very good at data retention which like, sounds boring, but when you think about it...my brain is literally a catalogue of useless trivia. Want to know how many interchangeable puppet heads they made for the character of Jack Skellington when filming the Nightmare Before Christmas? Want to know how many Oscar nominations Meryl Streep holds, and for what movies? Want to know the significance of orange trees in Louis XIV’s garden at Versailles? I fucking know that shit. I know so much random shit. 

[emblem-333]

It Isn’t ALL Kevin Nash’s Fault

In 1995, the WWE was in the beginning stages of a down period once Hulk Hogan left the company in June of 1993. The New Generation lead by Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, while talented, couldn’t continue the successes “Hulkamania” reached like Vince McMahon hoped.

The New Generation rose to prominence in the fall of 1992. Off the heels of a mildly successful WrestleMania VIII, the company knew their love affair with Hulk was nearing its end. Although they gifted the Hulkster the coveted main event match on the card - a non title bout against Sid Justice; which ended in a disqualification. The climax of the match was the surprise appearance of former champion The Ultimate Warrior running in to save Hogan from the beat down he was receiving from Justice.

The choice to book this particular match in the main event raised a lot of eyebrows. Hogan wasn’t going over Justice, on the contrary, this was his foe’s coming out party as an unstoppable killing machine. Justice wouldn’t last long after WrestleMania. His final match for the company was during its tour of the United Kingdom where he scored a victory over The Undertaker, his third loss PPV since joining the company in 1990.

Hogan spent the majority of the match beaten up and overpowered. The sight of Hogan dominated physically shocked those in attendance. They waited with baited breath for his famed Babyface comebacks. When it came, Hogan missed the leg drop and Justice proceeded to beat him some more. Warrior making the save in the end communicated to the fans that he was back in the fold after a abruptly leaving the WWE after SummerSlam in 1991. Hogan was almost an afterthought. This match was his send off. Hogan was leaving wrestling to film movies.

Vince nearly broke down in tears when Hogan informed him this was likely his last WrestleMania. The timing couldn’t have been better on Hogan’s end. Hulkamania was running out of steam, a new fresh Babyface in Bret was making a run for his spot. Fast forward a year later, Hogan is not only back at WrestleMania, but leaves the champion. McMahon showed little confidence in his new guys and came running into the arms of his old flame.

If WrestleMania IX was defined by the complete injustice of Bret Hart, the ‘Mania after was defined by his redemption. Like the year prior, Hart main events the pay-per-view, against Yokozuna and wins! Prior to that, HBK and Razor Ramon brought Madison Square Garden off their feet during their iconic ladder match for the Intercontinental strap. This was the height of the New Generation.

Bret held the strap for 248 days, participating in two high profile feuds. One involving his brother Owen, who scored a victory over his older brother in the greatest ‘Mania opening match in history. The two outdid themselves at SummerSlam, Bret going over this time in a steel cage match. The second feud was returning legend and former champion Bob Backlund.

Backlund returned to the WWE after a ten-year hiatus. Before Hulk Hogan, Backlund was the standard bearer of the WWE. Holding the championship belt for over 2,000 days before losing to the Iron Sheik so he could lose it to the aforementioned Hogan three weeks later.

Born in Minnesota, Backlund was the perfect white meat, midwestern Babyface for the era of the late 1970’s to early 1980’s. His appearance screamed humble and “aw, shucks.”

Bret was the same style of Babyface. Absolutely no edge to his character, he was a hero. Plain and simple.

When the two clashed on a late July tapping of WWF Superstars, Backlund have “The Hitman” all he can handle, coming up short via roll-up pin after Backlund believed he secured the victory. Bret extends his hand to the aggrieved Backlund who lost his last wit, snapping and attacking the champion. Backlund placed his infamous “Chicken Wing” submission maneuver on Hart and tortured him for what felt like ages. When referees finally pried the mad man off the champion, he stared at his hands like he committed a murder. The all-American boy, born and raised in the Midwest, turned heel.

Backlund won the title from Hart at Survivor Series, ending his run as champion at 248 days. But it wouldn’t last long. On a House Show in Madison Square Garden three days after Survivor Series, Backlund was massacred by Shawn Michaels bodyguard Diesel and lost the title in ten seconds. On the next episode of Raw, Diesel was the champion and even though he originated and became famous as a heel, was being portrayed as a Babyface in the mold of Hogan. Sort of like the precursor to Roman Reigns.

Diesel (a.k.a Kevin Nash) took a strange journey to becoming world champion. At 35-years old, the WWE placed all their hopes on Diesel carrying them out of these dark times.

Nash began his wrestling career in 1990 for World Championship Wrestling as an orange-mohawked man named “Steel,” acting as one half of the tag team known as The Master Blasters. They began their WCW run on a undefeated streak, before running into the Steiner Brothers and losing in 52 seconds. Nash was repacked as “Oz” a clear ripoff of a character from the Wizard of Oz from the 1900 children’s book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Nash was managed by The Great Wizard (Kevin Sullivan). Ultimately, this gimmick fizzled out as well. All plans for Nash was scrapped when he refused to sign a $300 a night guarantee as the company was cutting costs. Nash remained in the company, repackaging him as “Vinnie Vegas.” A streetwise, Italian-American straight out of the movies.

Nash found himself in the WWE soon after, at the request of Michaels to act as his bodyguard. He took the name “Diesel” and made his debut at a House Show helping HBK defeat his former friend, now nemesis Marty Jannetty for the Intercontinental Title acting as the enforcer for the heel Michaels.

The relationship went both ways, Michaels would help Diesel win the Intercontinental Championship over fellow Kliqmate Razor Ramon after HBK took a hiatus following WrestleMania X to rehab an injured ankle.

In 1994, the WWE was in quite the bind. WCW plucked their talent from them (Hogan, Savage, Flair) and their homegrown talent was just as good (Sting, Barry Windham, Big Van Vader). Vince signed Lex Luger to a hefty sum of capital in ‘93. The former WCW failed to duplicate his success in the WWE, likely through no fault of his own. Since once he returned to WCW Luger proved to be more, if not more popular than in his first run.

McMahon wasn’t sure if Bret was the guy to turn the ship around. So after having him drop the belt to Bob Backlund at Survivor Series, Diesel would crush the champion at a House Show three days later. This coming after Diesel and Michaels ended their keyfabe friendship, with Big Sexy turning Babyface in the process.

Diesel would hold the belt for 358 days and his reign is wildly panned by just about every metric. His reign coinciding with WWE’s worst run of House Show and PPV revenue.

I’m no fan of Kevin Nash. I think we can blame him for a ton of stuff. However, i’m doubtful anyone could have righted the ship for WWE in this time. The business model of the company was far too ancient to generate a profit. WCW changed the game by having 10 PPVs are year, to the WWE’s five. Monday Night Raw was only an hour, Nitro was two.

Bret, Diesel, HBK, two of them were the greatest wrestlers of their era, perhaps ever. Diesel was intimidating as fuck and the closest WWE got to home growing their replacement Hulk Hogan. All considered flops as champions due to an antiquated business model.

Diesel and HBK’s respective title reigns saw them defanged once the belt was fitted around their waists. All the edge in their characters was drained in favor of a more family friendly persona. Everything that got Diesel over to the audience as a bad-ass suddenly vanished. Michaels suddenly was being accompanied to the ring by his real-life mentor Jose Lothario during every match.

When Michaels lost the belt to Sycho Sid at Survivor Series, held at Madison Square Garden that year, the heel did everything to generate a negative reaction from the New York crowd. He even attacked old man Lothario and received only palpable cheers for his assault. HBK in the ring certainly deserved praise. But the dirty secret about him is he’s always been a superior heel, versus him as a white meat Babyface. The good guy image never fit for the guy who does a stripping routine before every match and fancies himself a ladies man. It didn’t fit Diesel either.

The company acknowledged their past mistakes on the Raw after ‘Mania XIV. Teasing the audience they were going to make the same mistake with their new champion, Stone Cold Steve Austin. Even putting him in a suit and taking pictures with Vince McMahon in the ring. The corporatizing of the champion isn’t unheard of. But Austin proving to be the company’s most profitable champions, whilst going against the traditional grain makes me scratch my head as to why Vince desperately wants champions in the mold of Hogan, Cena and Reigns, when the model clearly is outdated and detrimental to the overall product.

The booking of WrestleMania XII was a testament to how desperate the WWE was in recapturing it’s glory. Even copying the steps it took to set up the original WrestleMania. The company was short on talent and sought big name celebrities to compensate. Pamela Anderson and Jenny McCarthy accompany both the champion and the challenger, respectively, to the ring for their title match. Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor squares off versus Bam Bam Bigelow in the Main Event of ‘Mania. Not dissimilar from the first WrestleMania. Singer Cyndi Lauper played a role in the penultimate match. Muhammad Ali was the guest referee in the main event, and Mr. T wrestled in said main event.

Getting celebrities involved in wrestling to draw casual eyeballs is fine. WrestleMania XII would’ve been a bigger flop without them. But the booking of the card bugged me. Even though I wasn’t even born when it took place.

First off, Diesel rose up the ranks too soon. He was green on the stick, coming off as disingenuous when cutting a Babyface promo on the Raw after winning the title from Backlund. Maybe Nash was never meant to be the top guy in the first place, his title reign shouldn’t have been so disastrous regardless.

WWE blamed Bret for the bad numbers and assumed a new champion was needed. So the Hart-Backlund conflict took a backseat to Diesel vs Shawn. WWE wanted to groom HBK as the next top Babyface, so he became a tweener and won the Royal Rumble despite being the first entrant. The ‘95 Rumble was the shortest in the history of the PPV not even eclipsing forty-minutes. Perhaps more importantly, the only notable names HBK interacted with during the rumble was The British Bulldog and Lex Luger. The latter is gone too soon, the former hangs around for too long. Bulldog survives until the very end and he came in at number two. Receiving nothing for coming up short despite him and Michaels lasting the exact same length of time.

Owen Hart and Backlund were both ambushed by Bret before entering the ring, thus killing any interest fans could have had in this match.

In my opinion, the WWE should have done one of the following versus what actually happened.

1. Diesel wins the Royal Rumble

Diesel could smash Backlund at ‘Mania, turn Babyface at some point before or after the rumble devote crucial time to his push and perhaps avoid the issues WWE faced.

2. Buildup a Bret - HBK program

I mean why not? HBK isn’t even the champion so it’s not like you’re asking him to drop anything. Who is HBK to turn his nose up at a chance to main event WrestleMania?

3. Slot the blowoff match of the Bret-Backlund feud for the title

It does suck the blowoff to a surprisingly quality feud ended in a farce of a match. Slotted in the middle of the card, with Roddy Piper sticking a microphone in the face of either Bob or Bret every few seconds to snag a little bit of the already dimming spotlight. It was ugly and a damn shame. At least there was a story being told that made sense. Bret was the company’s face (or at least he’s supposed to be) why not main event this year’s ‘Mania?

4. Put the pieces in place for a Diesel vs HBK vs Bam Bam vs L.T main event title match

Ah, now we get crazy. Crazy with a capital K. Bam Bam vs L.T was surprisingly good, and the feud proceeding the match was excellently built.

People could debate who’d win in a lock up, Diesel or L.T? Will HBK super kick L.T? (I know HBK’s finisher at this time was the fisherman’s suplex) Will L.T win the championship? Is it jumping the shark? Yes. Would it have been good for business? Also, yes.

[florencefolly]

The Heat

July 4, 2017

If I say to you tomorrow, take my hand child come with me, it’s to a castle I will take you…oh what fun it all will be…

It is so fucking hot. I am askew. Two years ago in Italy it was below 90 degrees only one day. We’re in Paris now and while it is not 90 degrees (thank GOD), it is freaking hot. The mornings are cooler but that only lasts for a few short hours.

The night before, we agree that we need a plan before heading out and have settled on an early train to Versailles. Robin, the kids and I know from experience that we need to be there somewhat early to beat the crowds. Rani has mapped out the day and has taken charge of the journey south to the Sun King’s summer palace.

For those of you who think you have seen excess and have not been to Louis XIV’s father’s original hunting lodge turned, summer party spot, turned eventual French Seat of Power estate—you ain’t seen nothing. It’s big. It’s sprawling. It even boasts its own getaway spot. The Trianon Palace. Marie Antoinette’s hideaway among the hedgerows is where we are heading today. Louis’ place is overrun and frankly would be more impressive with less people. The estate oversells it, one assumes to maximize revenue during the peak tourist season. I can only imagine the cost associated with its upkeep.  No matter as I am actually more interested in the farmer’s market in the main square of Versailles quaint downtown. About an acre or so of every imaginable fruit and vegetable in season. Add in four separate permanent buildings, each containing a butcher, cheese monger, fish monger, wine merchant and boulangerie and you have a visual and literal feast that you could spend the better part of a morning wondering through.

We exit the apartment after a good breakfast. We will be walking; a lot. The 8:30am sun is blinding and the temps already on their way to scorching. It will be warmer in Versailles. Out on the street, we happen upon a pet shop and there are puppies on display in the window. Claire stops dead in her tracks. I know she would be all too happy to stay and play with them. She is not feeling well; the travel having caught up with her. The store is closed though and we have a garden to wander through. Bouncing up the street to our Metro station; Emily and I in the lead. We weave in and out of the locals on their way to work. We descend the stairs to the ticket machine. I am surprised to find that it finally accepts my American credit card. It is cheaper too than we originally thought it would be—bonus. We navigate to our platform under my twin’s direction. We are among many making the sojourn to the Rive Gauche Station.

The train is hot and full. We find a small section of the two-level car to tuck into. Eight seats contain two commuters and the six of us. We all travel together for several stops toward our destination. At the other end of the car there is a commotion. Some interesting music and singing has begun. It sounds like an accordion and something else. They are playing Guantanamera. It is lively and the performers are enjoying themselves. The train stops and the commuters exit. As we begin again, the performer with the unknown instrument appears holding a small coin purse, busking along. We toss in a euro and then the music begins again. The accordionist has moved to the next car via the train platform. The saxophonist opens the door to the next car and joins the party. I follow him to get a picture to save the memory. They completely ham it up; providing me with a great action shot.

The train arrives sooner than expected. We had to take a bus bridge last time we visited because they were repairing the tracks. This had made the journey much longer in my memory. We wait for the crowd to exit and empty out on to a waning platform. There are soon only us and a trio of French military personnel dressed in camo fatigues and black berets with tassels, carrying their helmets on their elbows and well-worn automatic rifles on their shoulders; fingers poised over triggers for a threat that has been all too present in France these past few years.

We follow them, unintentionally, up the tree-lined avenue towards the palace. The cool shade of the tall trees is welcome and fleeting, I move to pass the trio and realize that I have stepped in front of the muzzle of the soldier’s rifle and quickly drop back as he shoots me a steely glare. We make the turn in front of the palace, the tour bus filled parking lot is flanked by the growing line of visitors. A longer line I’ve never seen and this includes those I’ve seen on a summer Saturday at Disneyland. Thankfully, we are not standing in that thing.

I’m on a mission. I am hopeful that the market is going. The fear being that it is only going on the weekend. My fear is put rest after finding the square completely by accident. It does not disappoint. I will spare the description and my fingers and allow the pictures to do the talking.

We split up, I head to the market to spy the produce and learn some French words for the various fruits and vegetables that it contains. The quintet is going to do some shopping at one of the stores that caught Claire’s eye. We agree to meet at a creperie nearby for an early lunch. Gallates (savory) and Crepes (Sweet) consumed, I down my espresso finisher, pay the l’addition and we are off to the gardens and Marie’s house.

Entering the estate from the side via one of the neighborhoods through the Queen’s Gate, the fancy building to the right of the gate confuses us. Turns out to be a Walfdorf Astoria hotel and not the Trianon Palace. We pass through the gates and make a right up a long dirt road that is lined with goats on one side and sheep on the other. There is a male kid challenging his utter heavy mother. He rears up and lunges towards her where she is waiting with a thudding head butt. The crash sounds awful and it happens again and again as the two twirl around one another. There are two fences. They are on the other side of the second fence but between the two fences is a lone goat and that Claire is making friends with as she scratches its face. The hair of his chinny-chin-chin dangling below his snout.  

Up the road there are several groups of elementary age children running around. We meander along, dodging the horse poop and taking in the view. In the pasture, the alpha male appears from behind a stable. Trotting down the slope, his bell announces his arrival. I can only imagine why that bell hangs around his neck. Who would want to be surprised by that fella. His horns twist above his head about two feet.

We need a bathroom. It is still a way off. I ask the attendant at the gate we approach if this is where her house is and I am instructed that it is down the road behind us. We make our way down a long, wide, dual lane stone road. This description does no justice.

We finally arrive at the Petite Trianon and make our way in to a shaded courtyard where there are about 30 boys running amok. Their teacher is shouting at them, her patience completely spent. She finally organizes them in a single file line and marches them out. It is quiet now. We use the restroom and plan to head in. Claire has succumbed to the heat. She and Rani are going to hang back. I don’t blame her. Robin and I agree that if it even begins to feel like the main palace we will bail out. It takes one staircase and two rooms. Nope. This is not happening. Out in the midday sun we decide to head over to the palace via the tram. We can see the gardens and the hit the train home. One tram goes by, two trams, three. We are all now maxed out. We finally get on only to be insulted by the 20 euros it costs to be bounced down the cobblestone lanes. At least Emily was free. We arrive to the side of the palace, first passing by the Neptune Pond and Dragon Fountain. We look for an exit only to be assaulted by the news that the exit is a 10 minute walk back in the direction from whence we came.

We surrender and begin the slog. Stopping for pictures in front of the gardener’s recent trimming of some ornamental conifers and of course the famous water features. Outside the Queen’s Gate, I dial up an Uber at the order of my womb-mate. Claire has lost it in the heat and our two or not far from the same state. “Get a drink and we’ll see you back at the apartment,” she tells Robin and I, who once again are left to our own devices. This time we will have that drink.

Sitting on the shaded sidewalk of the brasserie, we order. “Deux bierres. Tres, Tres froid, si vous plait,” I manage. “Grande?” the server replies. “Whay,” I phonetically respond, the equivalent of “Yah” A more casual version of “Oui” that you often hear on the street. Lovingly we caress the very cold pints of Cherbourg, watching the world pass by. We finish, pay for our sidewalk premium priced beers and head towards the train station, opting for the Rive Droit station. Turns out to be cheaper and offers sweeping views of the City of Lights. The panorama contains the Eiffel and Sacre Coeur at a distance. We each take turns nodding off in the heat of the train car. St. Lazare comes not soon enough and we are back in the cool of the train station. Only now, it is rush hour and the place is crawling with people. What. The. Fuck. Where are all these people coming from and going to? It is frenetic and everyone but us know where to go. There is order in the chaos and we are fouling it up. Down this staircase, around this corner, down that hallway, through this turn style, it takes us 10 minutes of dodging commuters to find our exist. Up on the Malesherbes side of the Huitieme, we are on a mission to get dinner purchased. For our 4th of July celebration we are having Mexican. Tacos and guacamole. Maybe not American but definitely Californian. Note to self: get to the grocery before 6pm. It is a ZOO and French people are ruthless in this Monop (French Grocer). I am selecting my avocados when this woman brushes past me to paw through the boxes for a ripe one. I am disgusted by brash rudeness and need to get out of the place. Now. We get in line, pay and exit.

Back at the apartment we collapse over a glass of cold rose, licking the wounds of the day. If asked to go to Versailles in the summer again, I will politely decline. If pressed, I will launch into a profanity laced rebuke. Forewarned is fair warned.