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shesjustanothergeek · 2 years

Text

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x Fem!Reader|

Part Seven

Master List of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, or how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: Oh my goodness, an early update from me?? How crazy! I never update early the world must be ending. I know it's only like a day, but still, it's a day early! For someone reason, it was super easy to write. I don't know what that says about me. xD I want to thank y'all sooooo much for constantly supporting me. When I first started this fic, I honestly thought nobody would read it and that those who did would hate bomb me. Everyone who has commented has been super nice to me, and I honestly can't thank you enough for it. I do want to warn you, though, that there's going to be a chapter in the distant future where were discuss Aegon's not-so-consensual activities. That's all I'm going to say about that. I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a steamy one toward the end. ;)

Chapter Warnings: Flash Back, Somnophilia

Prince Daemon opened the door to Madam's brothel like a dark cloud, slowly traveling with the threat of a storm, Dark Sister tapping the frame. Rage was his presence as he entered, though his outward appearance seemed as if he was unbothered. He was on a mission, and he had only one question.

"Where is she?" He asked the first woman he saw, a client on her arm. She smiled at him sweetly.

"Give me one moment Ser, so I can escort this handsome patron out, and I will be right with you." She buttered the man up, her words a purr in his ear as she stroked his cheek.

Daemon rolled his eyes, taking three long strides to the girl and grabbing her by the arm. "You will listen to me and listen well. Forget this fool." She whimpered, letting go of the man's arm as she went to shield her face.

"I am Prince Daemon Targaryen, the man who created the very Gold Cloaks that will burn this establishment to the ground should I snap my fingers." She nodded, eyes teary and lips quivering. The girl was confused and caught unaware by the Prince's presence. He had not been here in quite some time, ever the loyal husband to Princess Rhaenyra.

"Where is Madam?" He seethed through gritted teeth at her prolonged silence. The whore took a shaking breath, hesitating momentarily as she glanced at Dark Sister, deciding the truth would be better than Valyrian steel through her stomach.

She leads Daemon to a back room, hidden and out of the way so no simple-minded customers could mistakenly enter. A small fire was lit, and a cast iron cauldron hung over it as Madam stood hunched, her shoulders shaking.

"Madam," the girl spoke softly, and she straightened her posture, wiping at her face as she turned to scold the worker, but stopped short, seeing a former star patron.

"Prince Daemon," she curtsied, sniffling to clear her nose, "to what do I owe the pleasure?" Madam knew she was playing a dangerous game.

"You know exactly why I am here," he replied firmly. Madam tilted her head at her worker, silently telling her working girl to leave.

"I am not sure I do. You know better than anyone that there is no need to come directly to me in order to schedule a session," she said dismissively.

Of course, Madam knew precisely why he was here. It was the exact reason why she was crying.

"Do not play dumb, Babette. Where is Elaina?" He asked, losing patience.

"I already told you this many years ago when you first asked. My answer has not changed. She went back home to the North." Daemon scoffed, rolling his eyes again as he stepped closer.

"I may have believed that lie once, but not anymore. She has no ties to her family." Madam sighed, shaking her head and raising her arms as if talking to a belligerent child.

"I am not sure what you want me to say, Your Grace. That was all the explanation she gave me before disappearing."

Daemon growled, charging at the poor woman and pushing her against the fireplace by her neck. Madam could not react, nearly falling into the simmering stew pot as she grappled for purchase.

"Stop protecting her, Babette; I have no intention to harm. I need answers," he spat.

"I have none to give," she relented, ever the strong woman from years prior.

"Stop lying to me!" He yelled, shoving her into the hearth, her head smacking the stone. "Where is Elaina? Where is my child?"

Madam was a force to be reckoned with herself, but when put against the Rogue Prince, the man crowned King of the Step Stones, she had no choice but to yield. Her years of hardening were not meant to withstand the flames of a dragon.

"Elaina is dead, thanks to the babe you put in her belly, and that child-- my child," Daemon's grip loosened, a lump beginning to form in his throat, "that I have raised into a beautiful young woman has been taken by your eldest nephew for reasons unknown to me,"

Sadness replaced his rage, a dark, depressing feeling shadowing in the pit of his stomach.

Yet another woman in his life has died from childbirth—his mother, sister-in-law, wife, and now a former mistress. Did the cycle of maternal loss ever end? The water wheel that was the Targaryen's customs was spun by endless blood and loss. Daemon's face was stone, though his heart was not. A twitch of his lip indicated he was upset by the news of Elaina's death.

Finally, he stepped away from Madam. Was he destined to lose every woman he had cared for on the birthing bed? What would become of Rhaenyra? She had just given birth to Joffrey not nearly two years ago, and she was already filled with the starts of another. She had been lucky, but the Gods' favor only lasted so long. What would become of you once put in that same spot?

"She is with Aegon, yes?" He questioned Babette, sniffing once as he rested his hand on Dark Sister. She nodded, cradling her wounded head, blood painting her fingers. "The Gods only know what that drunkard has done to her," Daemon said as he swiftly left the brothel, a new mission on his mind.

Lyra ducked into an alcove. Her grey cloak covered most of her recognizable face, the shadows of the secret entrance aiding her efforts. The layout of the many secret passages into the Red Keep was slowly becoming etched in her memory. She needed to know them like the back of her hand.

Her little apple, she thought somberly, her heart aching in the palms of gluttonous high-borns. Left to be eaten until there is nothing.

Madam had sheltered you too much from the reality of the world. You were too kind to bare the Targaryen name, too innocent to become a part of their "holier than thou" culture. You were not stupid, Lyra knew that, but your ignorance was simply due to a purposeful lack of knowledge on Madam's part. Unlike most girls your age, you knew about sex, the pleasures a man could receive, but you still had the inexperience as them, and without some trustworthy to guide you... there was no telling what path you might follow.

Lyra stopped at an almost invisible door, the wood untreated and dark within the shadows. She used her knuckles to knock a rhythm into the door, short and legato sounding. She waited, her anxiety boiling inside her stomach as she bounced on her feet. The passing time seemed too long. By now, someone would've opened the door.

"Lyra, you must leave. The castle is in a tizzy with the arrival of-"

Lyra didn't wait for the servant dressed in red to finish, shoving her way into the bustling kitchen of the Red Keep.

"Lyra, I cannot help you right now," Sara chased, tugging her friend's arm. "They are preparing a feast for the royal family!"

Lyra ignored her, running to another hidden servant's passage, her leather shoes tapping on the worn stone floors.

"Where is she," Lyra asked, sprinting up multiple steps. "I must see her. I need to tell her to wait." Sara tripped up the stairs, catching her skirt as Lyra gained more distance.

"If you would take a moment, Lyra, I could tell you," she huffed, catching up to her old friend at the top of the passage. "They are at dinner," Sara finally answered, her breathing ragged. "She met Daemon. I observed through the walls. He was kind to her. I believe there is no ill-will between them."

"That is a relief to hear; truly, it is Sara, but the things I have listened to since she left..." Lyra trailed off, "a girl of her age should not be partaking in such activities. She is far too young to comprehend the consequences fully."

"That is hypocritical, Lyra," Sara scolded, crossing her arms. "I remember us during girlhood. We were not much better."

"That was different," Lyra said. She dismissed any more attempts of scolding from Sara, opening the door as the sounds of music seeped through the crack.

She could see you dancing, hopping back and forth like a rabbit with Princess Halaena. Lyra could not help but smile. Seeing the joy on your face was infectious. It had become a rare sight over the past moons. Partly, because you had just gotten your cycle, your body readying itself to fill its biological purpose. A part of her almost felt guilty for trying to ruin your night with the plans of your escape.

Your laughter carried into Lyra's hiding place as you lifted the Princess. Lyra slowly shut the door, a wan smile covering her face. It might do you good to extend your stay at the Red Keep. You could live as a girl, make friends and play as you never could. It would give Madam a sense of ease to know you were well and to gather the needed supplies for your trip across the Narrow Sea.

Sara gave Lyra a confused look as she retraced her steps. She still needed to memorize them. You would be safe for now, and that was all that mattered as Lyra slinked back to Flea Bottom.

Daemon had escorted you to your room after dinner, silent the entire way. You were thankful for that; if he had sparked conversation, you could not have held back your grin.

Of course, you were still upset with Aegon for stealing you away and keeping his real reason for wanting you at the castle, but how he looked at you... He made you feel like you were the only person worth looking at in a room full of royalty... It made your heart feel full.

Perhaps you were too harsh in judging him? He is still a person growing into an adult, the same as you. You acted immaturely with Ma, and he acted stupidly with you. You would forgive him, just as Ma forgave you.

You thought of Daemon, wondering what was running through his head during that silence. You understood that people believed you were his daughter, but your mother was not alive to claim it as such.

Sara calmly unbraided your hair as Caldia fluffed your pillows, and one of the other girls you had come to find out was named Izola laid a thin buttoned nightgown on the bed. It was nice to be dotted on, feeling more important than you were as your eyes became heavy.

It reminded you of the nights you and Aunt Lyra would pamper each other. She would use extra wages on the day off to gather pastries, flowers, and sweets. You would sit and listen to her odd stories of patrons for that week about how one man wanted her to call him "brother" and cried after he came. You would laugh and laugh as you both stuffed your mouths full.

Suddenly, your chest hurt, your heart skipping a beat, fluttering rapidly to regain its set pace. You clenched your fist, placing it over your heaving breasts as you tried to steady your breathing. It felt like you had fallen from a great distance and landed on your back. Tears swelled in your eyes as your body panicked, unsure of how to respond as it betrayed itself.

"My Lady," Sara spoke with concern in her voice. She had stopped unbraiding your hair, her hands on your shoulders as they heaved up and down. "Are you alright?" She asked, turning to see your frightened expression.

The other girls came rushing over, like swans landing on a pond, as they all gathered around you with concerned looks.

"My Lady, what has upset you?" Izola questioned as she put the back of her hand to your temple.

"My..." You stuttered, clutching your beating chest. "My... Heart," you gasped, confused and scared about what was happening. "I want Auntie Lyra. I want Ma. Where is she?"

You couldn't think straight. Your mind attempted to grasp what was happening, reverting to a terrified child after a nightmare.

"Ma is not here. You are in the Red Keep," Sara attempted to soothe you, unsure whether she should reveal what she knew.

"I-I want to go home," your voice was thick with shedding tears.

"You..." Sara glanced around, unsure, her voice becoming soft and pointed, trying to convey a message with her tone. "You are home."

"No," you cried, yanking at the collar of your dress. "I want to go home! I want to be with my family!"

The gown no longer held beauty when you gazed upon it. All you saw were hands.

You were screaming, your eyes blinded by tears as you stumbled into the vanity, falling to the stone floor. Dozens of pale jeweled fingers become your skin, trying to penetrate your flesh. They consumed you, curling inside as you attempted to pry them away. You pulled and swatted at them, but nothing worked. A never-ending cycle would appear as soon as you broke free of one another.

"Get off," you shrieked, "get away from me!"

You couldn't think. You couldn't breathe. You couldn't see. All you could do was feel their burrowing digits wiggling into you.

"Ma!" You screamed again, though you knew she wasn't coming. "Ma! Ma!" Your voice cracked, sounding thick with saliva.

You heard a loud crashing noise in the background, and you turned to look, but one of the hands gripped your face, forcing you to look back at them. You could see them gnawing like rats through your flesh and bone. Before you realized it, you were being lifted, the bejeweled fingers still all over your skin as someone shoved you into a chair.

Suddenly, they all vanished under a curtain of water, and you finally regained all your senses, looking at staring faces.

Caldia stood panting, a silver bucket in her grip. The other two maids were there, along with the Guard who was stationed outside your room. Sara and Izola were holding each other, their faces red and tears brimming their eyes. They must have seen them too... the hands.

"I came as swiftly as the Gods allowed," an older gentleman in pious brown robes said, bursting into your chambers with another man dressed similarly with a leather bag.

"Maester Mellos," Sara greeted in relief. She released Izola and thanked him with a squeeze. "I do not know what happened. One moment I was readying her for bed; the next..." She trailed off, looking at you with concern.

The Maester turned, seeing a girl who looked like she had run from one end of the Keep to the other, then averted his eyes swiftly.

"For God's sake. Give this girl some clothes."

You lowered your head. While in your fit, you had split the gown down to the waist; you only tore your small clothes a little higher. You covered yourself in shame, and embarrassment biting your ears. Caldia dropped the pale and grabbed your night dress from the beautifully patterned silk bed while Sara and Izola went to pull the tattered slit to keep your modesty.

Maester Mellows continued his examination, listening to your heart and touching your neck and underarms for anything abnormal. His companion took notes, a leather-bound book and feather quill in hand as the Maester whispered his findings. Your handmaids stood in the background, each with worried expressions.

One with a hand over their pursed lips, the middle looking between you and the stone floor, the other with arms crossed tightly around their chest, swaying slightly.

"She seems to be in good health," Maester Mellos declared. All three women sighed in relief, whispering thanks to the Seven. "Though her heart beats like a wild stallion, even when resting." As he continued, their faces dropped, fear rising to replace their short-lived relief. "I recommend deep breathing exercises to steady the pulse, but if something like this were to occur again..."

He motioned to his assistant, taking his bag and rummaging through it until he found what he was searching for. "Take a spoonful of this. Not a drop more."

He handed you an amber-colored glass bottle, a cork keeping it tightly sealed as you accepted it with trembling hands, letting him know you understood.

"Child, do you think you will be able to sleep tonight?" You lowered your gaze as your pride made your tongue feel like lead.

Maester Mellos sighed through his nose, kneeling to your height and placing a hand in your shaking ones.

"Tis alright, my girl. All women suffer hysteria from time to time. A punishment that all suffer in this time. Just do as I ask and all will be well." His tone was soft and kind, as a grandfather would speak to their grandchild, but the contents made you feel insulted.

He uncorked the bottle with a pop, getting a spoon from his bag as he poured the liquid into the bowl. You opened your mouth as he raised it, wrapping your dry lips around the cold silver. It was tan, almost the same color as molasses, and you began to feel skeptical of the powers this magic potion was implied to have.

You nearly spat it out from the taste. It was a bitter flavor worse than the absinthe Aegon gave you and burned your throat just the same. You didn't think to ask what it was, too focused on not spitting up as you forced yourself to swallow, taking a gulp of air with you and burping afterward.

"Rest now, child; the Seven smile down upon you. Thank the Maiden for this being your only ailment, and pray to the others for your continued health. You will be well in no time if you devote yourself to that." You nodded again, pushing yourself out of the chair wordlessly as you climbed into your bed, your handmaid hurrying to help you.

The Maester and his companion took their leave with a swift bow, the Guard escorting them out of your chambers and leaving the four of you alone. You had been nothing but a calm, albeit stubborn, guest in the Red Keep, and they were more concerned than anything. You could sense that they had questions, wanting to know where this sudden outburst came from.

The day had taken too much from you, and you had no more energy to speak as they pulled the silk sheets to your chest, tucking you in as Ma or Lyra would. You had begun to feel the effects of whatever Maester Mellos had given you as the girls left. Your limbs were heavy, and you felt your body and mind relax, sinking deeper and deeper onto a bed of clouds.

Aegon had drowned himself in his cups as always, but he did not desire to explore the Streets of Silk as he usually would at this hour. He sat on the stairwell leading down to your bed chamber hallway, waiting patiently until he saw everyone leave. Seeing the Maester as one of them did startle him a bit. What had happened in the time he was not with you?

He realized then that his little dragon could not be left unattended. He must be with you at all times lest something happen. It would be a difficult task for Aegon, yes, but he would do it. He would do it for you. You were his hatchling, after all. His and only his.

The eldest Prince waited a few more moments until he was sure your ladies would not return. He pulled himself up onto wobbly legs as he descended the stairs, dragging his fingers along the corridor until he felt a familiar little divot.

Aegon opened the wall into a hidden passageway connected to the many others that led out of the castle, but he didn't intend to leave tonight. Everything that he desired was right here in these very Redstone walls.

He traveled until he saw the familiar patch of stone that signified your room, making sure his drunk legs did not make a sound in case you had fallen asleep. Aegon pushed the wall slowly, careful not to have the stone scrape the ground as he peered through the crack.

Aside from lit candles on your bedside tables, there was no light in your chambers. He pushed the door partly open so that he could slink through, still as quiet as a mouse as he went to the lump on the side of the bed. He called out softly to not scare you, but as you did not move, he continued and sat on your mattress. Still, you did not stir. Your lips parted slightly as drool leaked onto your cheek. He leaned over, gently swiping away the spit, and finally, you roused, only moving from your side to your back, the covers below your chest.

Your nightgown had come unbuttoned, exposing the glistening valley between your breasts. It stopped short of fully revealing what he longed to see to Aegon, much to his disappointment. He traced his finger over your skin, sticky from the summer night's heat, and you, once again, did not move. He was mildly concerned you did not wake from his touch, but it did not stop him, his cock growing hard in his trousers.

He knew in his mind that if you had been awake, you would not let him touch you as he did, moving the fabric over to free one of your breasts. And the fact that you were not conscious right now, your body unable to reject or accept his advances, made him groan.

Aegon moved, swinging a leg over so you were in between his. Surely this would be when you would wake, kick, and scream at him until he left. But no, you laid beneath him like a log, and he grinned. Indeed this was a sign from the Gods you wanted him. In sleep, your body did not see him as a threat, which meant you truly desired him; your conscious mind did not know it yet.

His needy cock became too much, and he freed it from the confines of his pants. The head was a ruddy pink from his rushing blood, his thick shaft pulsing in time with the hammering of his heart.

He removed your other breast from your nightgown, the nipples taught and ready for him to pinch. One hand found the base of his member, the other groping and massaging the sensitive flesh. It only made him go faster, his hand pumping in shorter and quicker strokes. To his luck, you were still sound asleep, with no expression as to whether you felt him.

Aegon wanted to shove his needy cock down your throat and continue what you had started from a moment that now felt ages ago. When you asked him, drunk on the little death he had just given you, to teach you how to pleasure him. Perhaps your subconscious could learn instead.

"I like it sloppy," he said in a strained voice, spitting on his prick as he mimicked the squeeze of your womanhood with his fist, "but for you, little one, we will go slow. I'll have you dripping first, your little cunt begging to be stuffed by me. You will do better that way," Aegon grunted at the thought as he continued. "Then, I'll have you spit on me and use your tongue to spread it before I sink into your mouth. Do not worry. I shan't shove it in all at once. I'll ease it in. I'll guide your head to find the pace I like, and you'll use your hand to make up for the lost space."

He felt a jolt of pleasure, picturing the scenario in his mind, your big doe eyes staring up at him, looking for reassurance.

"Of course, you will be unsure if you are doing it right, but not to worry, I will tell you." The stroking of his cock went faster, making the pace that you would set for him. "Good girl, I would say. You're taking me so well. I know you would just clench at my praise and try to take more of me. I know what you are, even if you do not. A good little girl that would take whatever I gave her with a smile; you just don't realize it yet." Aegon could feel his high mounting quickly, grunts and moans spewing from his chest as he moved his free hand to squeeze your throat.

"You will do that for me, won't you, little one? You'll take my cock down your fucking throat and thank your Prince when you are done?"

Your eyelids fluttered open at the lack of air, sleep still clouding your vision and mind. You could only make out a face—shoulder-length hair of white, pouting pink lips wet with spit, and flushed cheeks.

"Aegon," you whispered groggily, suddenly pulled back under the sleep waves.

He came quickly and suddenly at the sound of his name from your lips. It was such a force that his seed shot to your chin.

"Yes, it is me, little one. I am here," he answered as more spurts of his manhood fell onto your bare chest. "I am here." You did not hear his words. Already back in a deep slumber as you squirmed slightly, wiping his labor off your chin.

Aegon cursed the Gods for such an insurmountable and sudden pleasure, stroking his cock slowly as he came down, almost collapsing on top of you. He wanted to watch you clean yourself, forcing you to wipe his spend off your body with your fingers, sucking it off before swiping for more, but alas, his little dragon was sleeping and knew better than to wake you. He needed now, more than ever, for you to be awake.

Aegon tucked himself back into his trousers and left the bed, searching for a rag to wipe you but could find none, only seeing your peasant clothes draped over a chair. The maids must've forgotten them, and he grabbed the dirty outfit stained with sweat and alcohol to clean his sin of your flesh. He looked out the window once he was done, throwing the clothes in a random spot for later.

At this point in the night, he realized where his highs would cease, and his thoughts would finally reign free. His chest felt empty, a horrid feeling of shame and guilt gnawing at his gut. No one would ever love him, he realized, not in the way he sought for. His mother was ashamed and disgusted at the mere thought of him. His brother filled all the criteria his Mother wanted him to, and his youngest sister, his... wife, stuck in a marriage she nor he wanted, forced to carry his heirs. His father often forgot he even existed in favor of Rhaenyra and her bastard children.

How would he ruin your life, Aegon wondered. It was inevitable. You, too, would surely follow the same pattern. You would hate him, be repulsed by his heinous actions, and become like everyone else. He heard you stir in bed behind him but did not care; you were still fast asleep. He felt the sting of tears in his eyes, sniffing and willing himself not to let them shed as he crossed his arms for comfort.

"Aegon," he heard a soft voice behind him call. "What are you doing here?" He quickly wiped the tears from his face, rushing over to kneel on the opposite side of your bed.

You saw the wet streaks, his eyes bloodshot. "Are your alright?" You asked, sitting up as you grew more concerned.

"Yes, yes, little one. I am pretty alright. I was just stopping by to see how you faired after tonights events," he lied. You didn't believe him. Your mind slows as you think of what to say.

Though you were still angry at him for what he had done, you felt your heart soften at his broken face as you opened the covers on the other side of you. "Would you lay with me," you quietly spoke, doubling down as you saw his surprised expression. "Just for a little while until I fall back to sleep." Aegon did not hesitate to kick off his boots, shedding his wine-stained shirt as he climbed in. He, too, was desperate for companionship, as he always was.

You knew this was considered improper in royal customs, and you would most defiantly get into trouble if Daemon found out, but you didn't care. You could tell you, and Aegon needed some, if just for the night.

Aegon climbed into bed wordlessly. From the moment you met him, he was always the one to lead, and you were blank on how to proceed. He was afraid to say the wrong thing and have you refute your offer. You both lay there awkwardly, staring a the black ceiling in silence. You were still trying to figure out what to do.

You recalled childhood moments when you would crawl into Aunt Lyra's bed after Ma had scored you. It was almost second nature for her. She always knew how to help you and make you feel better.

You scooted closer to Aegon's stiff form, wrapping your arms around him as he turned. You did not speak. There was nothing to say as you squeezed him closer to you. Each other's presence was enough as you slowly drifted back to sleep. Eventually, his arms wrapped around yours as something akin to water slid down your skin.

Master List of Series

Aegon is a mentally ill and emotionally stunted individual who does terrible things. Instead of mommy issues, he has "everyone in his family issues." I just wanna stroke that baby prince's cock and tell him what a good boy he is as he makes a mess of himself with his cum.

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Tagged Peeps: @zeennnnnnn, @malfoytargaryen, @targaryencore, @justasmallbean, @alexandra-001, @buckysmainhxe, @omgsuperstarg, @sommornyte, @silverslive, @unclecrunkle, @prettykinkysoul, @duesobabe, @djlexi, @ynbutbetter, @honestlykat, @graykageyama, @legolas017, @iiamthehybrid, @brezzybfan, @ladybug0095, @millies0bsimp, @kalfilit, @sheislonelyalways, @tempt-ress, @bellameshipper, @minttea07, @trikigirl271, @esposadomd, @buckylahey, @partypoison00, @please-buckme, @pastelorangeskies, @joliettes, @existential-echo, @priyajoyyy, @valaenatargaryensdragon, @merovingianprincess

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pepperf · 7 months

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What do you do when you’re burnt out on fanfic? Like the characters just don’t feel the same to you anymore

I assume you mean writing fic, not reading? (For reading, I find that's the point at which I drift into another fandom).

It's...difficult, tbh. I am kind of in that place with TUA, too, and while I'm looking forward to the last burst of excitement with season 4, and that might reignite my desire to write endlessly about these characters, I suspect that my most passionate love affair with this show is winding down. I still adore it! But I'm not thinking about it 24/7, coming up with new meta, new fic ideas, things I simply HAVE to write...

I've never found a solution, honestly! I've been through a number of fandoms, and there always does come a point where it winds down, for me. I respect and admire fans who are still there, 20 years later, with the same passion! But that's not how I work. And it sucks, honestly. It also sometimes means that my fandom social life shifts - I will keep some of y'all, but eventually most people will find other shows to post about, as will I, and our paths will diverge. And I feel sad, and wistful, and a little autumnal about the whole thing.

It doesn't have to mean it's the end right now, however. Some people find a new spark in the same fandom - maybe that one fic idea that's just SUCH a challenge, SO interesting, that the fic itself grabs hold of you. Sometimes I find that I need to do something totally different - write in a different style, or create art instead, or...something, shake it up, whatever that means. Other people may have other tricks.

But on the whole, what I find is that I try to accept that it will simmer down, and that I won't finish every fic idea I ever had - and I look forward to whatever new and unexpected fandom will grab me in the future (and to having some downtime in the meanwhile, lol).

Sorry, that maybe got out of hand! I'm feeling some kinda way about the show coming to an end, I guess. XD To go back to your specific ask: sometimes I do a rewatch (because often I'm so caught up in fic or fandom that I forget where it all started, what made me love it in the first place). Sometimes I let myself start a new fic, something really super indulgent, the kind of fic that I most want to read but have been telling myself, nah, that's too much, no one will want to read that (don't listen to that voice, it's a lying liar!). Sometimes I go watch or read something else, and come back with a totally weird crossover idea (I don't really recommend that one, almost no one reads those). Sometimes I let myself just think about the characters, about something that's always struck me about them but that I've never quite pinned down and that I want to explore more in some way (usually fic, for me). Sometimes I just let myself stop worrying and go do something else, and if it comes back, it comes back.

I hope that's helpful - I'm not sure it is, but hey, the one thing I'm enjoying about TUA is that, generally, it's been a positive experience, and I am hopeful that we'll go out with a good and satisfying season 4. And we still have 6 entire episodes yet to see!

EDIT: Also - because apparently I have A Lot Of Opinions tonight - I find that it never completely leaves me. I care about all the shows I ever loved like this, I watch the new stuff the actors do (sometimes), I will read the odd fic, or rewatch an episode - or the whole thing - sometimes...I'm never going to completely lose TUA, and I will take forward some of the character beats and the ideas that I picked up from it, in some form or other. I may even get suddenly inspired, five years down the line, to finish a fic. XD So it's never wasted, it's all mulch to the creative mind.

#long post #boy that got rambly #I hope you don't mind me posting this aloud #writing #tua s4 #the umbrella academy

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ninjahiccups · 1 year

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The Songbird of Asgard

Chapter 10: Love

AO3 Masterlist Word count: 12.1k Warnings: none

--------------------------------------------------------------------------The songbird and the watchman have taken a big step, one that all of Asgard notices. Heimdall, who was once uncertain if this change would be positive, is quickly falling victim to the benefits of letting go.

Just wanted to ask, do y'all prefer reading this stuff on here or AO3? I'm just noticing an increase in notifs from AO3 and less from here, so if we prefer AO3 I'll just link the chapter instead of posting the entire thing XD

For the first time since all this began, Heimdall hesitated to make his morning march across the wall.

Eivor would be there, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to see her again.

They spent hours on the wall last night, gazing out at the plains, talking about everything and nothing…kissing. They remained until Eivor was too tired to do more than lean against him and close her eyes, so exhausted from being the center of attention for an entire day. Even so, she would only leave his side after he insisted he take her back to her cabin, enjoying one last leisurely ride on Gulltoppr until she kissed him goodbye. It was a night he would never forget.

But now he wasn't so sure.

He wasn't naive. Not physically, of course. Back in his younger days, well before he'd acquired his distaste for humanity as a whole, he'd had encounters involving both men and women, and even after he abstained from them the thoughts he found in people's minds was more than enough to keep him "informed" on the matter. Never had any of these experiences lasted more than a few hours, nor did he find any other them enjoyable enough to even remember, but he wasn't ignorant to what came from the ones that did: expectation.

Until now his bond with Eivor had been so carefree, so limitless, having no strings attached. With this more…serious change there was always a shift in expectations. Time spent, things that were said and done, they were always held to a different set of standards, and he hated that. He hated that there was the possibility that the rules he saw everyone else adopt time and time again would destroy everything. That this would be when he finds out there's a side of her he can't stand, and his instincts were right all along. Gone would be the relaxing voice that drained away all his stress, the one literature enthusiast that was worth talking to, all the promises and declarations of loyalty she made the night before, all because they took things a step farther. Was that one night worth losing it all?

The answer eluded him as he trudged across the wall, approaching the place they always claimed faster than he was prepared for. His jaw tightened when he heard her lyre, already furious about the inevitable fallout that was destined to happen. After all this time he would be proven right once again and it would all be over. And never would he do anything like this again.

He reached their spot, stopping in his tracks as he listened and stared. Eivor was sitting on her purple blanket, singing one of his favorite songs. As hard as he tried to remain cold, ready for the worst, the sight still warmed him.

He would miss this. So much.

"You're late."

Eivor looked over her shoulder at him, her smile exactly like every other one she had given. "Something keeping you?" Her tone was teasing, and he could tell she already had a few jabs in mind. The familiar atmosphere made him smile in spite of himself.

Before he could reconsider he sauntered over. "Well I am a busy god. You should know this."

"Yes, but you constantly brag about how easily you can handle it." She smirked as he sat down next to her. "Losing your touch?"

Heimdall chuckled. The banter, that sharp tongue of hers…it was still there. But would she accept the same from him? "I was taking my time. After all, I had every reason not to rush over."

"Rude."

"And?"

"Ignoring you now," she replied musically.

No anger, disappointment. No expectation. No change. Heimdall felt his cheeks hurting from his wide grin. "Oh, forgive me, Songbird," he gushed sarcastically. "Could I ever be granted mercy?"

A twinkling giggle was his reward. "Maybe I can just this once…'Dall."

His joy came to a screeching halt. He scrunched up his nose while he repeated with disgust, "Dall?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Now she was sheepish, shrugging as she explained, "Why not? I don't have a nickname for you."

"And you still don't."

"What's wrong with it? Is it because it sounds like I'm calling you a doll?"

"It is not at all suitable for one such as myself," he persisted, though he smiled and leaned a little closer to her as he did so, failing to remain stern.

"I don't think so!" She rejected, backing away just to spite him. "In fact, I think we should expand upon it. Right, Dollface?"

Heimdall recoiled and spat, "Absolutely never call me that again!"

"Why?! It makes sense!"

"How?!"

Her grin grew, but it was full of mischief. "Because you're pretty, like a doll."

"I am NOT pretty!"

Eivor rolled her eyes, laughing far too hard for his liking. "Heimdall, there are different types of handsome, and you are certainly on the pretty side of the spectrum."

Heimdall groaned dramatically, less than pleased with her logic. "Ignoring you now," he mocked, taking his eyes away from her and looking straight at the horizon.

"And?" Eivor parroted right back. She snickered when he gave a huff in response. Without any riposte to add to their war she settled into his side, leaning up to give him a quick peck on the cheek before returning to her lyre, going back to singing the song he loved. One of his hands went around her back and pulled her closer.

Things had changed indeed.

It was better now.

He'd never been so relieved to be wrong.

Their bond felt no different, with all their jokes and teasing, driving one another insane. It was all the same, only now they didn't have to walk around every trap door that would expose any hidden feelings, instead embracing them and allowing the flirting and physical affection to flourish without any worries. One day they would debate about books, as they always did, but then they'd share a few kisses after they'd agreed to disagree. On another Eivor would sing the same songs she always had, but now she would pull Heimdall in and perform right next to his ear all while he sighed and smiled. Heimdall would still read as Eivor played her flute, forming a habit of wrapping an arm around her waist and keeping her as close as he could. It was such a different dynamic, so new yet familiar enough to be comfortable. And it only seemed to get better with time.

The changes even began to apply outside of their alone time. Heimdall, Eivor quickly noticed, did not enjoy public displays, much preferring to keep the depth of their relationship private. She expected as much, and had no quarrel with it. Flaunting something so personal wasn't something she was particularly fond of either. So he surprised her when he showed just a glimpse of the Heimdall only she knew around Asgard every now and again. Eivor was spending her morning reading in the Great Lodge, the only other people around her were a few servants cleaning up and some Einherjar finishing breakfast. She was sitting with her legs crossed over the outside of the bench, the table at her back. Heimdall snuck up on her after speaking with Odin, startling her with an arrogant smirk. Then he sat next to her, which was already more affection than she expected. After just a few moments, she felt his arm sneak by, resting on the table behind her. Not direct contact, but a display of possession no less. He only stuck around for a few minutes before he was off to work, but it was a spectacle for the few bystanders regardless.

These public displays were small, subtle. But to anyone who had known Heimdall for more than a few seconds they may as well have been a parade gallivanting across Gladsheim.

And that was the unfortunate side of this shift between them. It was something everyone noticed and could no longer deny. Of course, they all had opinions.

Some assumed it was solely superficial. They thought he had seduced her to get something he wanted, an assumption so sickening that Heimdall had to stop whoever he caught thinking it and inflict some sort of punishment for it. Others believed she seduced him, but couldn't nail down exactly why she would or how she would manage to pull one over on him. That…wasn't entirely untrue, Heimdall had to admit. If he thought his self control was running wild before then it was completely out of his grasp now, his mind almost constantly caught between his duties or Eivor.

Eivor would never say it, but that was more obvious than he realized. In fact she noticed a lot of little things about him as time went on.

The most touching was that he seemed to take her advice about his foresight much more seriously than she thought. More and more often she would sing to him, leaning into the watchman's side while he held her. He would drift off, totally lost in the sound. Her mind was open and he could sense when she did or felt something, yet when she reached up to touch his face he would tense, then relax once he realized what she did. He hadn't foreseen her approach, deciding to ignore his foresight in favor of enjoying the moment. As the days passed he did it more and more often when they were alone. Sometimes she could lean up for a spontaneous kiss and he was so preoccupied with looking at her that she caught him off guard. Other times he would be making direct eye contact, able to open her mind and dig into any thought she had, and she would think something that should have gotten a reaction. Like the time she wondered what he looked like with his hair down. Yet when she did, and flinched when she realized he could have heard her, he didn't comment, or seem to notice at all. They kept going on as if he had never read minds in his life. That level of trust, one he had never extended to any other, was so moving that she had to hold back tears. She chose not to waste it, proposing new ways to test him and increase his control over the sensations he picked up. Proposals that he, thankfully, felt no need to reject.

Aside from the increase in trust, Eivor gradually found out what things Heimdall did in a romantic setting, some of them expected while others were completely new.

For one, he was rather possessive. When he was nearby he had no issue scaring off anyone who dared to butt in, especially if it was a man. Late one morning she had bumped into one of the apprentice blacksmiths while heading to the library. She apologized, then curiously inquired about the intricate designs on the metal clips holding up his apron. The boy was visibly nervous, stuttering while trying to explain that they were his own design. Eivor assumed he was afraid of casually conversing with a goddess and intended to comfort him. That was when Heimdall, seemingly out of nowhere, stepped in, looming over the blacksmith with a menacing grin. The mortal fled as soon as Heimdall shooed him away.

Confused, Eivor asked, "What was that for?"

Heimdall smiled at her like she was a gullible child, replying, "You didn't see the things he was thinking"

"Such as?"

"Let's just say I don't ever plan on sharing."

Oh. So it wasn't the fact that she was a goddess that made the young man nervous.

That specific situation she could excuse, but it had begun to extend to just about anyone after a while. If Heimdall was around, he wanted her attention and would make sure he had it. After a short time it started to be annoying, watching everyone constantly keep an eye out for Heimdall whenever they spoke to her. The only person who wasn't affected by it was Sif, who had no tolerance for Heimdall's antics. On multiple occasions Heimdall would try to steal Eivoe away while she was having lunch with Sif only for a verbal battleground to spawn between her loved ones. Calming them both down enough to end it was not a task for the faint of heart.

To counteract it, Eivor simply had to ignore him. When he still refused to stop, she told anyone she was conversing with that they had her "special permission" to ignore him. Which offended Heimdall greatly, especially when her companions heeded her instructions and really did pretend he wasn't there. He was too prideful to fight back and had no intention of showing how much it annoyed him, so it finally got him to either back off until she was done or take his leave. He would complain about it next time he saw her, obviously, but she always made it up to him somehow. Just about always with singing.

With that, however, Eivor realized that Heimdall unwittingly allowed her to have some semblance of control over his actions. If she asked him to get something for her, he got it. If she asked him to do something, he listened acutely and never ignored genuine requests. That, combined with how irritable he could be, gave her an idea. She couldn't get him to be a more understanding god overnight, but she could mitigate the damage until she somehow managed to do that.

Once she caught him scolding Gulltoppr’s stable boy for… something ridiculous, probably. Nonchalantly, like she hadn't been waiting for an opportunity like this, she made her move. "Heimdall?"

He shot her a tiny glare, but answered. "I'm in the middle of something, if you couldn't tell."

Oh so innocently, Eivor asked, "I think Gulltoppr deserves a treat after a long day. Do you mind grabbing them for me?" The beast's ears twitched and his head raised higher at the word.

Heimdall sighed. He'd started putting the jar of Gulltoppr’s favorite berries on the top shelf of the storage closet in his pen solely because of Eivor’s penchant for spoiling the gradungr. "I'm a bit busy. And you give him too many anyway," he grumbled, not hiding his disdain for her new habit.

"Just one wouldn't hurt, would it?"

Heimdall held firm at first, but eventually he sighed at the pleading look she gave him and reluctantly agreed. While he was busy Eivor waved the stable boy away, signaling him to leave before Heimdall was finished. The child whispered his thanks and fled. When Heimdall inquired where the "twerp" went, she simply shrugged, claiming she hadn't been paying any attention to the boy. He wasn't pleased, but let it go, making her experiment a success. And she got to give Gulltoppr treats, so it was a productive night.

Another method she developed was cutting in and asking the servant he was lecturing to do something for her. A really useful trick, Eivor thought.

"Is it really so difficult? These bracers are custom made, finest in the realm, and you can't even get a few grains of dust off of them? You must be the most —"

"As interesting as that is, Heimdall, I need something." Eivor would turn to the servant and say, "I'm feeling a bit thirsty. Could I bother you for some water?" The look on her face told them everything they needed to know.

The servant looked between her and Heimdall until the god finally said with a sneer, "You heard her. Maybe you can do this right."

Eivor never saw that glass of water but she made sure Heimdall didn't even notice.

However, if he was being excessively cruel she would take a much more direct approach. When a maid wrung out a wet rag as he passed her in the lodge a few drops of dirty water splashed onto his tunic. His proclivity for cleanliness sent him into a fury, immediately chewing out the maid. His insults were far too much for Eivor to ignore.

"Heimdall, honestly, are you really that upset over it? You could just as easily shut up and move on, you know."

Now that was something he never appreciated. Undermining his status in any way, but especially in front of an audience, was far from acceptable. Yet even with the undeniable anger breaking free he somehow always found a reason to comply. "I didn't have time to argue," or "this isn't worth the effort," or something along those lines. Even if it upset him he tended to get over it quickly, and he wouldn't hold it against her. Well, not for too long. She would just have to find other ways to keep him occupied until he forgot. Baldur had caught one of these moments, howling with laughter as he told her she was the only person who could boss Heimdall around and get away with it.

Distracting Heimdall when he was being exceptionally stiff became commonplace. Suddenly there were many who were glad she was the one who won over Odin's right hand.

Some of those developments were more irritating than she could have imagined, leaving her on the brink of lashing out at him at times. In private, however, there were some changes that easily made up for them.

The most prominent was how needy he could be. One evening she was waiting for him on the wall, engrossed in the new song she was writing. Her eyes were closed, focusing on the feeling and the rhythm from her lyre, not noticing Heimdall walk right up to her. Apparently that was enough to vex him. He reached down and plucked the lyre from her hands, setting it down and out of her reach as he teased, "I'm so glad I could get your attention, Songbird." Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her as close as he could, nuzzling into her neck and making her giggle. He'd even go as far as to complain when she had other plans. Ever since her trips outside of Asgard ended Eivor had started accompanying Sif to check on the Midgadians behind the wall, healing anyone who was hurt and making staves to ward off wildlife. As a result she had to cut her time with Heimdall short on occasion. Without fail, as soon as she tried to excuse herself he, as she puts it, whines incessantly and constantly urges her to stay just a bit longer. She just about always ended up meeting Sif late thanks to him. It may have annoyed Sif to no end, but Eivor enjoyed knowing how much their time together meant to him.

In line with being needy, he also had a tendency to be handsy. Heimdall loved to nip at her lips and neck, his fingers wandering over her hips, maybe one of her thighs. It was simultaneously flattering and nerve-wracking. She didn't necessarily dislike the contact, but it was still something so novel that she wasn't sure how to perceive it. He never pushed her when he sensed her fear, but he never really ceased these actions completely either. Eivor couldn't say she minded too much. Physical touch did seem to be the way he preferred to express himself, and the closeness was heavenly on most days.

Given his inability to voice his feelings, his tendency to touch wasn't that surprising. With every passing day she saw how difficult it was for him to put his feelings into words, lack of practice being the culprit, she presumed. There were a number of situations that he could never handle with words. A prime example was when he asked about the new song she was playing. When Eivor explained she had thought of him while writing it he froze. The thoughts raced behind his eyes but none of them came forward, a smile and a sweet kiss arriving in their stead. He usually at least tried to find something to say, though rarely was he successful. It was cute, actually, that he was so well spoken and articulate at any other time but fumbled when his emotions pried their way out. The only times he could say something was when he did so on impulse, not a single thought preceding it.

Eivor couldn't even remember the words that lead up to it. She had made fun of him for something, as they always did to each other. As she giggled, next to him, feeling his arm tighten around her, he simply stared down at her. She asked what he was thinking, and he gave no response at first. After a moment of silence, he spits out, "Just…" A pause, his gaze softening. Then, "Admiring a wonderful sight." It was so out of nowhere, so abrupt and sincere. He even surprised himself judging by the slight widening of his eyes. How Eivor wished he would say these things freely, to see his watchman persona fail to hinder such divine moments. But he needed time, and she would wait as long as he needed if it meant she could give him intense kisses after his outbursts.

All of it was so strange, how different he was with her. There was some evidence of his fondness for her out in the open, but as far as everyone else could see Eivor had chosen the most horrific jerk in all the realms. He insulted everyone, dramatically showed off his physical and hierarchical power constantly, proving to be as pompous as he had always been. But not to Eivor. He never did any of that to her.

Well, except the pompous part. That was normal.

Despite how brutal and contemptuous he was, their private time was an outlier. "The dichotomy of Heimdall," she called it. He was so coarse, unforgiving, insensitive, condescending, and unbearable, even for her at times, yet so gentle and sweet when there were no eyes on them. He would trash talk Baldur for his insane tactics, lecture Magni and Modi for embarrassing all of Asgard just by being themselves. Then he would turn around and find her at their spot on the wall, curl up next to her as she sang. A few minutes later he took the clip out of her hair and let her locks fall freely so he could bury his nose in it, planting little kisses on each strand. So tender, passionate. He cared deeply for only a few things that he found worthy of his admiration, and knowing she was one of those rare things made Eivor overheat from the warmth it brought into her heart and soul.

"You really like my hair, don't you, Dall?" She joked, still trying to get him to embrace her alternative nickname.

"You're lovely," was all he said. One of those beautiful thoughts that just slipped out on their own.

Eivor bit her lip, powerless to contain the smile from blooming on her features. She slowly turned to look at him, gazing into his glowing violet eyes as she complimented, "And you're not too bad yourself."

Heimdall chuckles, "Oh? That's not what you've thought in the past?"

"Maybe I've changed my mind."

He rolls his eyes, scoffing at her jokes. Though he doesn't fight back, instead choosing to lean in and kiss her. He really did love it when she proved how well she could counter him, never losing that fire he found buried deep within so long ago.

No one would ever believe it, but to Eivor it made perfect sense. He was a vehement and devoted man, giving all of himself or nothing, and that made for a very caring and attentive partner when they had time to themselves. She didn't mind that he would censor himself in public if it meant she could look forward to the side that he saved just for her.

The days stretched on like this for almost two months, each one brighter than the last.

A decline. Very subtle, but Heimdall could see it.

Not in the romance that was still in its infancy, but with Eivor. She seemed much more…withdrawn. He discreetly investigated the cause, which turned out to be far from anything he expected. Within days he realized it had nothing to do with emotions or second thoughts about him.

It started with fewer conversations. Eivor would simply listen to him speak, letting him go on and on about his responsibilities, whatever complaints he had. Instead of responding with her own thoughts or playful insults she gave only a few words, just to signal that she was present. If he ran out of things to say the air would still, neither of them offering any further topics.

After a few more days of that she failed to respond at all. A mere nod was all she could offer. Heimdall had adopted a habit of filtering his foresight when they were alone, choosing to focus on her now that he had no real reason to pry at her mind, but he'd begun taking peeks to get a better look at her again. As he expected, she struggled to pay attention to what he said, losing focus and having to remind herself to listen.

It escalated — or should he say, deescalated — to no real conversation at all. Eivor was content to just cuddle into his side and rest her head on his shoulder, sometimes humming to him if she remembered. With each passing day she forgot more and more often.

He wasn't worried at first, thinking not much of it. But then he noticed something strange. She would sit next to him, drifting off but never falling asleep. Why, exactly, was something he couldn't figure out. On a night that he had a book to read he paused to ask, "Tired, are we?"

Eivor only hummed at first. "A bit." A smile came and she opened her eyes just a bit to shyly request, "Would you read to me?"

Heimdall blinked at her. "Read?"

"Yeah."

"I'm in the middle of this one."

"That's fine. I just want to hear your voice."

It took him a second to swallow the knot that rose in his throat, but he obliged. It was far more enjoyable and less boring than he expected, which was a pleasant outcome. That was when he noticed it. His reading seemed to lull her to sleep, but just before she would fall into slumber she would jolt, wide awake in an instant.

His guess was that she was trying to stay awake to listen to him. Which was amusing. Until he noticed it happening the next day, when he didn't have anything to read to her. Even with peaceful silence around them, her blanket softening the hard stone of the wall, something kept stirring her, and rather harshly if the alarm in her mind was anything to go by.

So that settled it. He knew exactly what was wrong.

She was exhausted. Sleep deprived. What he didn't understand was why. Eivor hadn't been busier than usual, nor had there been anything new that could be disturbing her. As a result…he was growing concerned.

When he felt her suddenly leap back into consciousness again he finally said it. "Songbird?" Again, no verbal answer. "Care to explain why you've been so sluggish as of late?" His tone was light and humorous, hoping that would get her attention.

Eivor shrugged, playing down just how right he was. "Just haven't been getting as much sleep lately."

"Obviously." He was a touch annoyed that she dodged the question. "I was expecting a more in depth explanation, if you would be so kind."

To his surprise Eivor seemed to grow solemn, pulling away from him and sitting up straight. He had to confess that a part of him was afraid he had been too callous. "There's just…something that's been keeping me up."

Heimdall's eyes went down to her hands, rising up to grip the collar of her dress, brows raised at the movement. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but a tattoo wasn't it. A deep blue symbol in the center of her chest, no larger than her fist and shaped like a withering tree with a tapering stem, located just below her collar bone and low enough that it barely dipped between her breasts. It wasn't a figure he recognized, seeming almost arbitrary in design as opposed to a standard stave or spell. "And that is?"

Eivor released her collar. "I don't really know." Her gaze went out to the night sky, distant, like she was hoping the stars held answers. "I've always had it, so I can only assume it's something my parents gave me. There's some kind of magic, a…tracking spell maybe? For a long time I felt it pulling me towards something, but after many years it gradually faded. Now it just flares up every one in a while, and it gets so persistent that it becomes invasive. So much that I can't sleep."

Heimdall hummed, not pleased in the slightest. If it were anything else there could be a solution, but this? He hated to say that it was out of his hands, and he abhorred that he was powerless. "Surely All-Father would have some way of dispelling it?"

"I'm sure he does but…I'm just afraid."

"Of?"

Her doubt and fear were clear, even without foresight to aid him. "That I might need it. That it's trying to tell me something. And if it's from my parents then…"

He had half a mind to tell her whatever it was didn't matter, his bias against one of her parents being an Asgardian traitor kicking in. That, however, was not an anger he wanted to spark, especially if she was in a state that contained less patience than usual. Without that recommendation he had nothing to give. "You said it only occurs sporadically. What makes it stop?"

A bitter chuckle. "A good night's sleep, something I only get after it's bothered me for so long that I practically pass out." She leaned back into him, adjusting her position to lay her head on his chest with her arms around his torso. "I just wait until that happens."

Still an unsatisfactory answer. He accepted her cuddling but his mind wandered. She wasn't the same when she wasn't in good health, and unlike any other he had met he would rather fix that issue than blame them for it. He knew she was worthy of that privilege, and he did miss her usual self more than he wanted to describe. "Asgard has medicine from every realm. There's surely some kind of herb or other remedy—"

"I've already tried."

Now he gave a frustrated growl. Unconsciously gripping her harder.

She laughed at him. "It's okay, Dall, really. It'll pass."

"Not fast enough," he blurted out, biting his tongue right away.

Eivor backed up, giving him a honeyed smile before taking his face into one of her hands and kissing him deeply. He let her rest against him, still unhappy. After some time he ushered Eivor to stand, claiming he "didn't enjoy being a makeshift bed." She heard "I want you to try to sleep," but of course he wouldn't come out and say that.

He always escorted her home atop Gulltoppr when they were out past nightfall, and this night was no different. She usually sat behind him, Heimdall preferring to take a less intimate arrangement when onlookers were about. Her fatigue must have inspired him, placing her on Gulltoppr in sidesaddle and mounting behind her, letting her rest against him. She thanked him with a brief kiss on the jaw before resting her eyes.

Just like that, everything began to fade, feeling nothing but Heimdall's warmth and the comfort of his embrace. Life was replaced by darkness.

Then the heat was gone, Heimdall's presence retreating as Gulltoppr stopped. It felt like they reached her cabin in an instant. As if she had fallen asleep…

That gave her an idea. One most would consider scandalous, maybe, but she had a feeling Heimdall wouldn't object.

He gingerly helped Eivor to the ground, lingering on her doorstep. She could see he was still perturbed that he couldn't control the problem. Not yet at least.

"There has to be some way to silence this magic without losing it. I'll speak with All-Father in the morning," he declared.

Eivor hummed, the exaggerated tone giving away that she had something in mind. His eyes narrowed at her as he waited for her to reveal whatever scheme she had.

"You could…" Eivor's gaze faltered, suddenly incredibly timid. "But there is something you could do yourself."

He was bracing himself, waiting for whatever teasing she had prepared.

She couldn't keep consistent eye contact. "Maybe if I had someone to keep me comfortable…I'd be able to fall asleep." There. She said it. Her cheeks were definitely too red to ignore, even in the faint moonlight.

That deep shade of red intensified at the prideful smirk he gave her. "I'm sorry, what was that? Are you implying something here?"

"Heimdall…"

"I'm merely trying to understand what it is you need, Songbird," he antagonized with thick sarcasm.

Eivor mustered up the energy to match his tone. "Well, I guess I'll spell it out for you since you clearly don't get it. Heimdall…" she paused again, still so embarrassed to voice it. But he wanted her to, it was written all over his face. He wanted her to say it out loud just for the satisfaction.

Damn his pride.

Heimdall only grinned harder, showing he had been reading her closely as he waited. With a defeated sigh she forced out, "Would you stay with me tonight?"

With his annoying expectations met, he took a step closer and placed his hands on her waist. "What an…unseemly request," he whispered.

Eivor rolled her eyes but still leaned in closer. "I mean to actually sleep, Heimdall. Don't get any ideas."

"Frankly I'm offended that you think so little of my intentions."

After a giggle her small voice asked once more, "So will you stay?"

Heimdall was quiet for a moment, just watching her, like he was pondering something. "I have no complaints."

Of course he wouldn't just say yes.

She let it go, suddenly too excited to wait. "Well then," she said as her hands took hold of his hands and pulled him to the door. "Come on in."

Heimdall nodded at Gulltoppr to dismiss the beast, then followed Eivor inside. Once the door was closed behind him he took a look around, noting how small her abode was. A single room, the bed pushed against the back wall, just a few feet away from the left corner, and a table in front of the window near its foot. To the right was a wardrobe against the same wall as the door, and on the one perpendicular to it were two bookshelves, shelves lined with trinkets, plants, and stories. There was a wooden trunk in the other back corner, where she kept her instruments. Or so he assumed when she gathered her flute and placed it inside. It wasn't much more than most other dwellings, barely any different than Magni and Modi's rooms. Which was something he disagreed with. She deserved much better, in his very important opinion.

"Soooo, what do you think? Too simple for you?" Eivor pressed, walking up to him and putting her hands on his chest.

"It'll do."

A roll of her eyes, having expected an answer like that. Then they grew wide, the idea hitting her. "Oh, you should call back Gulltoppr and stop by your cabin."

"What for?"

"You can't sleep in your armor."

True. And it would be easy to call back Gulltoppr and get whatever he needed. Despite that, it was the last thing Heimdall wanted. Leaving now, even if it was just for a few minutes felt…wasteful? It was hard to describe. All he knew was he had no desire to spend a single moment elsewhere. "I'm sure I can survive for one night," he joked.

"Are you sure?" Her eyes went down, trying to remember what she could have lying around. "Maybe I have something you could wear…"

An admittedly embarrassing snort came out of Heimdall. "Oh, I doubt that."

Eivor took half a step back, putting her hands on her hips and eyeing him like she was daring him to challenge her. "And why is that?" His response was to pretend he was considering it, his eyes going to the roof while he took a deep breath. A hand rose, stopping at the top of his head with his palm parallel to the floor. Then it slowly lowered, stopping at the top of Eivor’s, his gaze going between the starting point and its current one to emphasize the drastic distance. Eivor glared up at him and slapped his hand away. "Shut up!" Heimdall laughed loudly as she stormed over to the wardrobe, opening its doors while mumbling, "I must have an oversized cloak or something…" She took a second to yawn before beginning her search, her own limbs making her feel encumbered.

Heimdall shook his head, wandering over to the table by the bed and unclipping Hofud from his belt. "A wasted effort really." His sword went down on the table, followed by Gjallarhorn. He wouldn't leave it there for long, never allowing it out of his sight even in sleep. It was always within reach, and given how lightly he slept he would always be able to keep it safe. As was his sworn duty.

From across the room Eivor called, "I'm still going to try, because I care."

Heimdall raised a doubtful brow. "How thoughtful."

Silence for a moment.

"After I change." She added, still staring at him.

He watched her, waiting for her to do anything. When she merely displayed annoyance he took a peek into her mind and realized what she was asking. With an exaggerated sigh he turned around, facing the closed window with his back to her.

"Thank you, Dollface." Said with a painfully fake sweetness. Combined with the accursed nickname he couldn't hold back a grumble.

She remained behind the wardrobe door as she changed, more out of bashfulness than mistrust. Once Eivor wore sleeveless nightdress, plain white and long enough to reach her ankles, she rummaged around for what few candidates she could find. As much as she didn't want to give him reason to gloat, he was definitely right. With resignation she closed the doors to the wardrobe. "Alright, maybe I don't have something for you."

"Shocking," Heimdall drawled while the sound of metal meeting wood rang. Eivor turned her head to punish his attitude, the words crashing in her throat and clogging up her lungs. The leather waist guard was removed and on the table, long white tunic next to it, boots neatly tucked underneath. Just as she turned to snap at him he slung his leather under shirt over his head, leaving him wearing nothing but his pants and revealing his bare back. Every part of her body froze at the sight, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip to prevent her jaw from dropping. Her gaze scanned every inch of his exposed skin, appreciating the subtlety of his sculpted muscles. Defined, but not bulky, built lean and strong. Up and down she looked, raking over every little form flexing as he rolled his shoulders and stretched. Memorizing every bit of him, having no idea when she would be graced with the sight again. The trance was so powerful that she failed to notice that he wasn't doing anything, just standing there. Then he looked over his shoulder, the all-knowing gleam in his eyes perfectly matching his smug grin. Eivor couldn't help but rip her eyes away and slap a hand over her mouth, letting her freshly freed hair drape over her face to hide her. The bastard felt her awe and basked in it to satisfy his insatiable ego.

Heimdall chuckled roguishly, taking his sweet time strolling over to her. Arms reached out to turn her to face him, the impish smirk ever present. "I really don't mind," he purred, voice low and tantalizing. "You are allowed to look."

Shivers dashed down her spine at the throaty note. Now that he'd had his fun his smirk died down into a sultry smile. Eivor nervously lowered her eyes from his face and down to his chest, marveling at the toned pectorals and abs, the slight bulge of his deltoids, biceps, and triceps. He looked so much thinner with all of his armor, but clearly his hard work to protect the realm paid off immensely. She almost jumped when he lowered his head down to kiss her cheek and rumble, "And touch." With his permission her shaky hands rose, hovering over his torso briefly before softly brushing her fingertips over his skin. She could have sworn he twitched at her touch but his insistent kissing along her cheek and jawline left her too distracted to care. Daintily, carefully, her fingers explored him while he peppered open mouthed kisses across her jaw, her hands circling around to feel his obliques and back. He apparently liked it, his kisses growing into tiny bites while he sighed. The feeling was overwhelming, her hands caressing his skin as he held her waist, his heated breath blowing over her neck. It was so much, but in the best possible way, and she had no idea how to handle any of it. Does she embrace it? Slow down? Speed up? Invite him to touch her too? That one made her anxious, so much energy generated by the thought coursing through her veins that—

A yawn. One of her hands left Heimdall to cover her mouth, the excitement too much for her tired mind, it seemed. The watchman chuckled once more, pulling back and giving her a surprisingly gentle kiss on the lips. "If you're that bored then I'm not going to indulge you any further," he whispered, far too proud of himself. He sensed her sheepish defense, the need to assure him that he was completely wrong. He knew, and he didn't bother to tease her further despite the golden opportunity. "Maybe after a rest you'll be more appreciative."

Eivor rolled her eyes. What a ridiculous way to say he wanted her to get some sleep more than he wanted this moment to last. Very sweet, but always disguised. She didn't argue, letting him take her by the hand and lead her towards her bed. They only parted when they were at its side and Eivor peeled the sheets back as Heimdall went around to the other side. His iconic confidence shined through when he climbed right in, not a hint of hesitation, initially lying on his back. The few candles on her bedside table were extinguished before joining him. "You sure you're comfortable?"

Heimdall shook his head, turning onto his left side to face her. "You keep asking and maybe I'll decide I'm not."

Eivor only laughed. Then she shocked him by curling up into his chest, her hands tucked between them. He tensed, processing his extreme reaction. When he walked in he thought they would remain apart, maybe barely touching, once they had gotten acclimated. Yet she cozied up to him right away. Without any doubts. With complete trust and nothing but a desire to be next to him.

She always threw him off balance, always made him feel like there was more joy than he could ever imagine.

One of his arms was tucked under his head, the other finding her back and pulling her closer, burrowing into her hair.

"Goodnight Dall," she mumbled, already feeling the lack of sleep catching up with her.

Heimdall smiled so wide that it hurt. "And goodnight to you, Songbird."

It took minutes for her to fall asleep, the sigil on her chest silenced. Heimdall fell asleep faster than usual as well, Gjallarhorn forgotten on the nearby table.

He had it once. Now that he experienced it, he realized he had a problem.

The morning after he spent the night with her he was redressed and prepared for his patrol before Eivor awoke, bothering her to say goodbye before he left, and to order her to sleep as long as she needed. That should have been it. It should have been the end of that night.

But it wasn't. That night was haunting him.

He couldn't be rid of it because now he craved it every night.

His foresight always made it more difficult for Heimdall to fall asleep, and ignoring everything it picked up as he tried to doze off was a skill all on its own. Since that night it had been even harder. Not even the filtering techniques Eivor had taught him were enough to give him the peace he needed. It only took a few days for him to nail down that it wasn't a disturbance that was keeping him up. No, this time it was an absence of disturbance. A pleasant kind. A calming presence in his arms, the distinct scent lulling him into security, the feeling of her affection and desire to have him nearby…it had been more intoxicating than he realized. For days he fought against it, but it took a mere week for him to cave.

Night had fallen when he and Eivor were riding the lift down from the top of the wall, meeting the criteria for Heimdall to escort her home. That was their routine, one he broke when they stopped next to Gulltoppr when Heimdall refrained from helping her mount the beast. He looked to be lost in thought. "Are you not ready to go?" Eivor inquired.

That pensive expression morphed into his unmistakable confident smirk, much more casual that he was moments ago. "I was thinking…" he drifted off, suddenly hesitant.

"We both know that's not what you were doing."

Heimdall sneered, "And we both know you aren't capable of listening."

"I would if you'd say something for me to listen to."

Her sass made him roll his eyes, but he resisted no further. She did have a point, after all. He clearly was beating around the bush instead of just coming out and saying it. Unfortunately he would continue to do so, just in a fashion that was subtle enough for him to accept it. "It occurred to me that it's awfully discourteous of me to make you travel all the way back to your cabin. There are other locations that would be much more convenient."

Sand colored brows raised, curious. "Oh really? Like where?"

"I can think of a few. My home, for example, is…arguably closer."

Arguably. Meaning that was not necessarily true, but that was beside the point. Eivor tilted her head with narrowed eyes, knowing exactly what he was implying. "Are you asking me to stay with you tonight?"

Feigning surprise, Heimdal gasped and exclaimed, "What a splendid idea, Songbird! I never would have thought of it myself." The thick sarcasm was unnecessary, Eivor thought as Heimdall commanded Gulltoppr to lie down for them to mount. "Let's not waste time then, we—" his hands were at her sides, ready to hoist her up into the saddle when she cut him off.

"No, no, wait," Eivor tutted, tone playfully wicked. Heimdall did as she asked, waiting for her to explain. Her hands went to rest on his chest, making him match her smile. "You're not going to get away with doing it like that."

The god cursed to himself. He should have known. "Doing what, exactly?"

Eivor shook her head. No, he couldn't ask for something so intimate in that roundabout way. Their first night had been different, there was a reason for her to ask him to stay. This time there was no reason other than desire, and if they were going to take that kind of step in their relationship he had to be open about his feelings. He couldn't pretend he was aloof and too mighty for these things forever, and he needed to learn as much. What better way to get him to grow out of that habit than to offer a reward she knew he wanted? "You are going to ask me properly."

Heimdall blanched, jaw clenching from both his own cowardice and how easily she had seen through him. She held no judgment for anything he would say to her, he knew that and had no doubt asking for something he wanted would cause her to start. Yet no matter how many words had worked their way from his mind to his tongue his mouth refused to move. He hated all of them, how unbecoming they were, how weak they sounded. Even while looking down into Eivor's shimmering green eyes, ever patient and comforting, he couldn't bear the idea of openly admitting that he just needed her to stay with him, that he would be deeply upset if she didn't. The debate raged within his skull, weighing his options. Was it worth it? To be frank about his not-so-guilty pleasure?

Thinking back on all the times it had been…when he brought her to the wall for the first time, their first kiss, letting her caress him and cuddle with him just a week prior…

Yes, his entire being screeched. Yes, it was worth it, his pride be damned.

Never did he think he would say that.

Though his mind was made, he still failed to grasp the words floating around him, fluttering away and out of his grasp when he reached for them, but his recounting of their first time at the wall gave him an idea of how to approach it. He doubted she would be totally satisfied with it, but it was worth a shot. Heimdall released her, holding his hands out in feigned surrender and taking a step back. "Oh, I see. How could I forget?"

"Forget?"

"That you prefer formal invitations for these things."

Eivor's hand went to her face as Heimdall cleared his throat, straightened his back, and lifted his chin higher, looking like the stiff he was. "Not this again…"

Sounding like he was announcing the entry of a legendary king, Heimdall proudly called out, "I, Heimdall, Watchman of the Gods—"

"Heimdall, please—"

"Hereby formally invite Lady Eivor, Asgard's one and only Songbird—"

"Just stop."

"To grace my humble home—

"Humble?!"

"With her presence on this wondrous night!" The Aesir god bowed dramatically, like an actor wrapping up a scene. Once he lifted his head he found her cringing and shaking her head, though she betrayed her disgust with her laughter. Gulltoppr, however, wasn't pleased in the slightest, if his impatient grunt was anything to go by. As he stood he couldn't help but chuckle when she groaned, "Gods, I hate you."

"We both know that's not what you're feeling," he taunted, making her laugh harder. Though he may not have done exactly what she asked, he still felt so much better for doing it, powerless against his body as it moved closer to her, his hands reclaiming their place on Eivor's waist, gaze soft and smiling sweetly.

He silently wondered when he would learn to listen to her right away, knowing he would never regret doing so. At this rate he would want to heed her requests as much as Odin's in no time.

"Was that what you wanted?" He teased when she managed to look up at him.

"No!" She whined. With one last shake of her head, her giggles died down, voice lowering into a coo. "But I'll take it." Reaching up, she stroked his jawline with her thumb. "I'll stay with you."

Heimdall was wracked with shivers, the declaration feeling so much more significant than the context would suggest. Before he could catch himself his head turned towards her hand, planting a gentle kiss on her palm. An action that made her blush and look away from his intense glowing eyes. Without a word Heimdall took both of her hands, grinning as he helped her into the gradungr's saddle.

"Are we going to stop by my place first?" She asked as he climbed in front of her, wrapping her arms around his torso.

He glanced over his shoulder and joked, "No need. Unlike you, I do have something you can wear for the night."

Just as his initial approach suggested, Heimdall's cabin wasn't much closer than Eivor's. She was actually surprised she had no idea he lived so close, or where he lived at all, until now. What was even more unexpected was the size of his cabin, something she noted as Heimdall shooed his mount away. Some quarters around Asgard housed several apartments within, and this must have been one of those. It didn't seem like something he would agree to, though…

When Heimdall let her inside she realized this entire cabin really was all his. Easily twice the size of her cabin, maybe even three. It was split into a few rooms, an open arch allowing passage between them. The front door was tucked into a corner, looking straight into the archways, the view of the next room cut off by the wooden wall it was carved out of. In this first room was a desk to her right, placed in front of a window with papers and books neatly organized on it. Beyond that was a wide bookshelf housing at least a hundred books, next to a comfortable looking chair and a little round table with a lantern on it. The full shelves were decorated with precious gems and stone carvings that referenced Asgardian history, book ends of weaving patterns and golden accents, antique metal insignias on wooden display stands. Paintings depicting Asgard's wetland landscapes hung from the wall bordering the next room, the hues and subtle gold tint of their wooden frames complimenting the decorations on the bookshelf next to them. Her eyes followed Heimdall as he took a few steps in and removed Hofud from his belt, directing her attention to the wooden stand that he strung the blade over. There were a few weapons already there, a small ax and another sword, but neither appeared to have been used recently. Next to that stand were a few pairs of shoes. He gestured for her to follow suit as he removed his boots and nagged, "No tracking dirt in, if you don't mind." She obliged — not before rolling her eyes — and watched him wander through the archway and into the next room. Eivor did the same, marveling at a grand bedroom. Her bed was barely wide enough for both of them to occupy, but his would have no problem accommodating another person. There was enough space for maybe three people, the ornate wooden headboard giving it a regal look that perfectly matched the soft sheets and fine furs. It was placed in the middle of the wall to her right, a bedside table on each side. There was another door in the adjacent corner leading into yet another room. From what she could see it appeared to be a washroom, which was incredibly uncommon to her knowledge. Most Asgardians used public baths, though now that she thought about it, she couldn't even imagine Heimdall would ever willingly bathe in public with anyone. The wall to her left stretched onward, a set of shelves mounted on the walls containing gauntlets, knives, straps for bow quivers and belts. All of them for show, being far too flashy to be useful and materials too expensive to be worth soiling with dirt and blood. Beyond that was a vanity against the wall with a large mirror mounted to the tabletop. Because of course he needed a huge mirror. The most impressive portion of the room was the back wall, three arching windows stretched to the roof, sitting above an alcove adorned by furs. On each side of it were shelves built into the walls, lined with even more books, these feeling more important than the others. It looked like such a cozy place to read and she was immediately jealous that she didn't have one of her own.

Heimdall went to the alcove and pulled out a hidden drawer that was built into it. It was huge, more like a built-in trunk. That made it all the more odd when Heimdall opened it, revealing that it was empty. At least it seemed so until he lifted a wooden panel to reveal another, this one with a rectangular indentation carved into it. Gjallarhorn was removed from his belt and placed into that nook, perfectly sized to fit the horn. It was actually a genius hiding spot now that she thought about it. One would think such an important object would have a case or a smaller ceremonial box, but a trunk that looked far too big and drab would be the last place anyone would look. Tucking the drawer back in, Heimdall then closed the wooden shutters over the windows while Eivor turned her back on him, admiring the wall that held the archway between the two main rooms. The antlers, shields, and unconventional weapons were so well placed, balanced and leading the eye from one beautiful piece to another. Part of her wondered if Heimdall had organized the room himself, but that part was quickly silenced, concluding that he probably wouldn't like any of it if he didn't make it himself. Which meant he had excellent taste. It was almost embarrassing how much nicer his abode was, hers looking like an abandoned cave by comparison.

Eivor's smile grew when she felt his hands on her shoulders, clearly pleased that she was so impressed. "Thoughts?" He asked, as if he didn't know already.

"With how much you have in here I would have thought you were one of Odin's sons," she chuckled, leaning into his touch a little bit.

An answer he enjoyed, granting her a kiss on her cheek as he walked into the washroom next to them. "Well, I would say that I've earned such an honor." He returned just a moment later, carrying folded linen clothing under his arm. "Now, go on and pick something to wear," he invited while sweeping an arm to the washroom, as flamboyant as ever. After she crossed the doorway he called back, "Only pick something from the left half of the wardrobe." She nodded, stopping when he continued, "But nothing that is hanging from the top, those are difficult to clean." Once more, she tried to proceed before he cut her off with, "Nothing from the third drawer, or the bottom one either. And if you open the second only choose something from the right side. Oh, and keep away from any of the long tunics, I need all of those."

Eivor's face fell into one of confusion and disbelief as he rattled on. Really, she should have been prepared for him to be overly finicky about something as small as the layout of his wardrobe. She offered a slow nod and a strained, "...okay."

His response was to raise a disapproving brow. "Did you get all of that?"

A shrug. "Probably," she muttered while stepping away, not wanting to listen to all of that again. She heard him sigh in annoyance but ignored it.

The washroom was the simplest part of his home. It was a small space, only four paces wide and five long. Closest to the doorway was his wardrobe, large enough to cultivate the complex system he described. Across from that was a window, closed for obvious reasons. Beyond that was another mirror (of course) mounted on the wall, a cabinet positioned underneath it that carried candles to light the room. At the far end was a grey stone basin, round and tall enough to come up to her waist. It was large enough to fit two people, even though she doubted he ever needed that much space. Then again, no one needed this much space and luxury for bathing, but this was Heimdall. In the back corner was a door, one that she guessed was there for servants to prepare his bath when he requested one. She couldn't picture him letting anyone waddle through his home with a bucket full of water.

A small snicker sounded through her nose, rolling her eyes again at just how much Heimdall had for himself. It was ridiculous, but in character if she was honest. Upon opening the wardrobe she found it just as systematic as Heimdall described, deciding to take one of his tunics that was folded on a shelf in plain view, since he didn't provide any instructions for it. If that bothered him then he would have to get over it eventually.

Heimdall had changed into a plain white tunic and tan linen pants, busy with setting his armor aside while he called out, "You aren't overwhelmed in there, are you?" He smirked when he heard her scoff at him.

"Hard not to be with how picky you are." Heimdall rolled his eyes, hearing her voice grow clearer as she stepped back into the bedroom. "It's a little big, but I guess it works." When his head turned to make sure she hadn't taken something she shouldn't have, he paused, not at all ready for what he saw. Yes, he was expecting her to come out wearing something of his. What he hadn't planned on was…how much he liked it.

Eivor had chosen a tunic he hadn't worn in ages. A light blue one, so light that it was almost white, with short sleeves and a simple gold line across the bottom and end of the sleeves. On him it reached his hips, but in her it went half way down her thighs, the sleeves going just a little past her elbows, shoulders so much wider that their seams draped over her upper arms. The V shaped neckline was too big as well, dipping down just far enough for the sigil on her chest to poke out. He watched her pull on all the loose fabric, examining all the folds while her hair freely flowed about. A smile crawled across his face, eyes lingering on her hair. They did drop to her bare legs for a moment, this being the first time he'd ever seen them, though he felt every inch of her could he covered and he'd be just as enticed. Wearing something of his, making it abundantly clear where her affections lie…he loved it. Like he had conquered the deadliest battle and won the ultimate prize.

Aside from that, she looked, as much as he detested the word, incredibly adorable, wearing something so oversized.

She released the fabric and smiled at him. "It is pretty comfortable, though. I might just steal it." When Heimdall only gave her a chuckle in return, still grinning ear to ear, she smirked, growing mischievous. "You like it?"

Violet eyes finally pulled away as she slowly approached him. "It's flattering," he replied nonchalantly, pretending that he hadn't been staring.

Eivor stopped right in front of him, hands resting on his shoulders, standing on her toes to keep her face inches from his. "Do you like it because it's flattering," she whispered, making his heart skip, "or because it's yours?"

Heimdall put on an exaggerated expression, like he was considering it before suggesting, "Why not both?"

A shake of her head was what he got. He closed his eyes and leaned down to capture her lips, eager to taste them, but she slipped away.

"Before any of that, I really want to see your 'library' over here," she explained over her shoulder, approaching the shelves. Heimdall let out a huff for being denied but allowed it, taking a seat on the bed, watching her peruse his vast collection. "Oh yes, browse at your leisure, darling," he drawled, the pet name coming out before he even noticed it. He couldn't say he cared after he saw her smile.

It was strangely fulfilling, watching her wander around his home, wearing his clothes, knowing she would stay beside him in his bed. He began to wonder how long he could go without witnessing it again given he only lasted a week since the first time they cohabited. He smirked at her craning her neck and standing taller to see the shelves that were above her head and likely out of her reach, secretly hoping she would ask him to help her get something down. His foresight seemed to just shut up completely so he could see her excitement with his own eyes. All of it was just so…

Nice.

That was it. Nice. It wasn't a word he used often, but now it felt fitting.

"Compared to the rest of your cabin these books are really unorganized."

The comment snapped him out of his reverie, taking offense at the accusation. "They are organized."

"How? It's not alphabetical, or by author, or genre."

Heimdall tsked and shook his head. "Why would I when no one else will be looking through them. They're positioned based on how much I like them, the top left being my favorites."

Eivor snorted, somehow unsurprised. "That's not organized, Dall."

"By your subpar standards."

She didn't respond, eyeing the top shelf, where his favorites were supposed to be. "So you really liked all of them, then?"

"What?"

"All five books I gave you for the bet you lost." She looked at him, seeing that he might be a little embarrassed. "They're all at the top." Heimdall shrugged, saying nothing. Eivor made his way to his spot on the edge of his bed, almost gloating with her tone. "There it is." She caught him sighing. He knew what she meant. "That language of yours. You don't want to admit it…" A pause, prompted by Heimdall giving her a rather dashing smile and gripping her waist to pull her between his spread knees. "So you don't say anything," she finished, quieter.

Brows raised, he countered, "Something you should try. You talk too much." Without warning he yanked her forward as he laid back, pulling her down to lay on his chest. He couldn't help but laugh at the cute squeal that came out of her. He kept her there, feeling her nestle into him in a way that left him breathless while her sniggers died down to content sighs.

It was so wonderful, just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. As long as she was there, everything was fine. So much better. So much happier. So euphoric that he wondered how it was even possible to feel this at peace when he knew there were so many vile things in the world. But now all he felt was her. Her breath on his neck, her fingers grasping his shirt. Upon taking a brief dip into her mind he could sense how at ease and delighted she was, both of their emotions mixing in his being to make him feel twice as dreamy as he already did.

All he wanted was this. Was that alright? To momentarily toss aside all his responsibilities and sworn oaths and wish that this could last forever? To feel like he would have no problem leaving everything behind if he could have her like this until the end of time? As much as his brain screamed that yes, it was incredibly irresponsible of him, his heart tore him in the opposite direction, begging him to just feel this for as long as he possibly could.

It was almost ironic. He could read minds at will and understand the intentions and emotions of others in a snap. His own, however, were becoming more and more unfamiliar. He understood them less and less ever since she agreed to be his.

"Heimdall?"

A hum, still too caught up in his thoughts to properly verbalize his acknowledgement.

"Can we move over now? This is getting uncomfortable."

Just to spite her he held her tighter, acting like he had no intention of moving. "Really? But I'm quite comfortable."

"Heimdall."

Ah yes, the agitated tone that warned him about her impending counterattack. Sighing loudly, as if she had asked him to uproot a mountain with his bare hands, he complied, releasing her and letting her climb next to him. He was on his feet, heading to the few candles around the room. "Go on then," he groaned, still putting on a show. Eivor ignored him, far too accustomed to his antics to pay any attention to them. The candles were snuffed out, save for the one on one of the bedside tables. A fortunate circumstance for him. He had the chance to get a decent look of her cozied up in his bed, committing that to memory along with the other lovely things he'd seen that night. She chose to stay on the half of the bed closest to the washroom, preferring to sleep on her right side. Heimdall walked around to the other, lifting the sheets and climbing in. He laid on his back, readying to blow out the final candle when he caught a glimpse of her expression. She was disappointed, it seemed. He stilled, eyes asking for an explanation.

Eivor bit her lip, suddenly incapable of looking him in the eye. "You…don't always sleep shirtless?"

Another hearty chuckle from him, finding her shyness unbelievably entertaining. He leaned over and blew out the last candle. "No, I don't." Heimdall returned to his back, turning his head to look at her in the darkness, smirk ever present. "But I could make a habit of it…if it pleases you."

Eivor squeezed her eyes shut and sighed. "You're the worst." She failed to support those words, scooting over to cuddle into his side and rest her head on his shoulder, a movement he happily agreed to. His hand rested in her waist, the other falling onto his stomach. Staring up at the ceiling, he didn't try to sleep yet. He just relaxed, taking in the feeling of Eivor at his side, her breath evening out as she drifted off.

All he did was stare. And think. This, everything they had started doing, it was practically a different world compared to how he used to live. Alone, hating everyone, having no reason to do anything but fulfill his duties and keep to himself. Now? Now he wished he had more free time. He was in a better mood more often, letting go of the numerous annoyances he had to deal with every day. He had something to look forward to that wasn't silence. He had company that he never got tired of, that didn't ask anything of him. It was all so much. Yet he had no complaints whatsoever, save for one thing.

Was this normal?

He'd read too many minds to believe this…this ecstasy was something everyone felt all the time, with everyone they knew. It was so different, far beyond affection or admiration or attraction. But in a good way. Was this "normal" something he'd never seen before? Or was it something he just didn't understand?

His eyes closed, brow furrowing. He'd always prided himself on being intelligent and well-informed, but now there were too many things he couldn't describe, so many foreign sensations that he couldn't name. As wonderful as it was, there was a touch of frustration building up. What was he missing?

Eivor sighed in her sleep, burying her nose deeper into his neck. Heimdall's tension melted right away. She somehow managed to do wonderful things for him even in her sleep, without even trying. For a moment he threw out whatever reservations he had about his own emotions, how they compared to what he knew. Did it matter if he understood? Did he have to? The answer seemed obvious as he pulled Eivor a little closer, too fed up with his own questions to care.

There was no reason to. He loved this. He loved her.

Violet eyes shot open. Every muscle taut.

Was…that what this was? So soon? Didn't these things take months? Years?

His head tilted to look at her again, watching her face and reaching over to play with loose strands of hair. When he felt himself smiling he knew. He knew he had answered all his questions without even realizing it.

Yes. He did. He did love her. Much sooner than he ever thought possible — never even thinking it could come to this — but this had to be it.

He stared up at the roof once more, taking it all in before closing his eyes.

Soon. He would tell her soon.

Even if he had no idea how.

I am severely disappointed that I have seen no one call Heimdall dollface smh

#songbird of asgard #heimdall #god of war #heimdall x reader #heimdall x oc #heimdall gow #god of war heimdall #gow heimdall #the songbird of asgard

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milyz · 1 year

Text

[ 4:10 pm ] ━━ Price gets revenge

｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ info : hdc sorry for not posting for a while ! currently busy with a lot of things and was a bit unmotivated xd and I'm sorry that it's rushed :( enjoy!

you were forced to retire early. you were married to price, the captain of TF141. it was a Sunday morning, the sun rays hit you with a feeling of comfort. With a moment of silence , a knock can be a heard from the door.

you were alone at the time, wrapped in blankets, you waddled yourself to the door. nothing could prepare you for the moment you will lose everything.

"hello?" the door slowly opens to reveal 2 men standing in the doorway wearing full armour gears, with guns on hand.

"is captain here with you today?" the man's voice rumbled, imprinting to the room.

"I am his wife, do you need to leave a message?" your voice trembles, are they looking for him? you thought to yourself a million questions.

"good enough" his head tilted to the side talking to a mic on his collar with a foreign language.

"shoot her" ears ringing, that was the last thing you heard before your life ended. the last memory you remembered was a picture frame of you and price, wedding pictures surrounding it. you wished your last words was something , anything but the devil is evil.

everyone was training at base. clueless of what happened. Price was sitting in his office with laswell before the phone rang vigorously. price picked the phone without knowing his life is going to shatter apart.

"is this John Price that in speaking to?" the sounds of sirens and talking make his body stiffen. struggling to talk, price answers "who is this?"

"your wife has been admitted to the hospital due to gunshots ..." price stood there in disbelief, he knew who did it right then and there. anger filled his veins and his temper grew hotter. his wife is dead, and he wasn't there to save you.

silence neighbouring the whole room, "unfortunately, your wife passed away sir. I'm sorry" a click was then to be heard. death is in his mind, "till death meets me myself" he storms out from the room.

price burst into the bunks, veins visible on the temple. everyone stared at him. it was a long time since price was this angry, very angry.

"meeting room. now" he growled at everyone. tension is all that they could feel.

everyone rushed themselves to the meeting room, scared out of their lives. the base was quiet, "what's going on, cap'?" gaz's arms crossed on the table, preparing on what's happening.

price slams his hands on the table grabbing each person's attention. "we're going on war." he lifts his head watching everybody there looking dumb founded.

everyone sat there processing if price was actually serious. "since when.. why?" soap's speech stutters. a tear can be seen rolling down his cheeks.

"since my fucking wife took a bullet meant for me !!"

y'all got some daddy issues.. (me fr 💋)

xoxo, mila<3

#cod #milyz #milyzangst #milyzsad #john price #captain price #price #daddy issues

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veilleur-de-nuit · 3 years

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foolish's beaver analogy :D

timestamp: (7:44:55-7:45:25) "ANOTHER FANTASTIC DAY OF HAVING NO CLUE WHAT WILL HAPPEN :D" [2022-01-17]

(rambles n' stuff under the cut :)

fuck it im posting this now- WOOOOOO my first animatic thingy!! :DDD i've had it on the shelf for a while now, but i guess i'll just chuck it out there- i'm planning on making more animatic-thingys in the future, and was working on another one at the moment, but then i just so happened to open foolish's stream exactly when he delivered this ~amazing~ beaver analogy whilst losing his mind over valorant - and i knew i had to make an animatic of it XD

again, i do want to make more stuff in the future, but i do want to get some practice in before i make any "proper" animatics for the dsmp lore - 'cause i wanna do 'em justice, y'know?

i am trying to set up a youtube thing for this...ehhhh i'll let y'all know when i've uploaded this one to youtube, but for now - enjoy!!!

#foolish gamers #foolishg #foolish gamers fanart #foolishg fanart #nycto's art :D #nycto's moving art :D #<- guess that's my new tag for stuff like this XD #anjdsafjdks i had this sat 'round for so longgg #helloo friends!! ^-^#hhhhhh sorry if y'all aren't exactly receiving what you've been following for - but too badd~#my blog...my rules ig XD #also friends what is a taglist? i think i have an idea but i'm not sure-

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blushnik · 3 years

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I love love your works and posts. Always looking forward to more content from you. Anyways my question is that in Punisher season 2 really trashed billy. What do you think about it. Personally I Hate Krista and Madani. Do you think billy and frank would have eventually started a relationship if billy hadn't been outed for betrayal.

*SOBBING HAPPY NOISES* Lemme just- uh, lemme calm down, this was so much praise I didn't expect to see when opening the inbox 😭🙏💙💙💙💙💙💙

Okay, now to your question *breathing exercises initiated*

First, I just wanna say that I kinda pushed the entire season 2 out of my mind, especially THAT part (y'all know what I'm talking about, I ain't gonna say it out loud) cause it just really hurts but xD I think I can handle it for this one occasion.

Season 2 really went ahead and said: Let's just punish Billy Russo for 13 episodes straight, yeah? Cause the show's name is PUNISHER. And he's PUNISHER's nemesis, right? So we PUNISH him, that makes sense, right? *clown mask here* And people will totally cheer when we finally get rid of him cause he's BAD and deserved to be PUNISHED, RIGHT? *clown levels intensify*

Lemme just point out that Billy Russo DID get his punishment when Frank introduced him, quite intimately, to a mirror. He suffered consequences of it during his coma in his dreams and after with memory loss and all conditions that came with it. And that'd be okay to have at the start but NOT FOR THIRTEEN FKING EPISODES.

You can't beat up a character that much, for that long, and then expect us to be cheering when he meets the shittiest end you could possibly think of. Not to even mention the monumental waste of potential in that story.

Remembering what he did and being told what he did are two VERY different things. If he doesn't remember shit then ofc it doesn't make sense to him how could he ever betray Frank like that. For all he knows, everyone just turned against HIM and made up this lie, his best friends and people he cared about going after him for – in Billy's eyes – no reason. Forget Maria and kids and Rawlins, just the fact my best friend, the only person I ever truly felt connected to and trusted and cared about ground my face against a broken mirror would be A LOT to process.

I seriously expected Billy to remember what he's done somewhere in the middle but somehow the writers thought new characters nobody cares about and an overly complex plot is a better way to go? That letting Billy be just a confused screaming crying mess for the entirety of season 2 while ten meaningless subplots get resolved so he can die right after will somehow work?

Look, I get he was supposed to lose everything he had in season 1, that being not only his wealth and company and good looks (he's still hot shut up and those feeble scars, bitch, what was that, Shadow and Bone did a better job at doing accurate scars) but also his self-control, his control over his emotions, composure, his ability to keep his cool, smooth-talking, etc.

But you can't let him be the victim and then expect the audience to not empathize with him or feel sorry for him and to NOT be okay when he dies right after it seems he finally found some peace, happiness, and love (I hate Krista too but shit, he was so happy with those stupid flowers, Ben sure knew what he was doing when he gave those blue flowers to Alina right before everything turned to shit).

Granted, he did shitty things in season 1 and season 2 too but the difference is this;

In season 1, those were his conscious choices. He never was a victim even in his own story. He knew he stepped on other people in order to get himself higher, he decided when it comes down to it, better someone else than him. He decided that after building himself up, no price was too great to pay just to make sure he was never hitting the bottom again and he had no problem with doing it because he's incapable of compassion and 'even though he loves Frank more than anything or anyone, Billy loves himself just a bit more' – Ben Barnes' words, not mine.

But in season 2, he doesn't know about any of that. He does feel like a victim because from his POV, everyone is simply attacking and somebody close to him hurt him for things he can't believe he did because at that point, he believed he would NEVER be capable of doing such things. And when he does something shitty – it's because he feels attacked, he feels like he needs to protect himself and that he's pushed towards it.

Pretty fking hard to see him as a villain, at least for me -.-

It's almost like the writers were too scared to explore that emotional turmoil and impact it would have on him and how it'd change his character if he remembered. Which is SUCH a shame it hurts. Ben Barnes has put so much nuance and depth into Billy's character, he had dimensions and so many layers so just imagine what it would be to have all of that go through some serious angst and explore his relationship with Frank further.

But no.

Instead, we get this imitation of angst where Billy Russo becomes a punching bag and we're supposed to go OOOH HE STILL EVIL BITCH when he darest to punch back.

And don't get me started on the worst character kill-off I've ever seen. Just no. I am not even sharing my opinions on this cause it's too much to think about.

So there you have it, season 2 is trash in my opinion, they really did Billy so dirty while throwing in subplots and characters that were absolutely unnecessary to have. It could totally be just about Frank and Billy trying to come to some closure (violent or not) and maybe Dinah sprinkled in cause she got a lot of beef with Billy too.

Now just to quickly answer the other question, would they have started the relationship eventually if Billy wasn't outed for betrayal?

Marvel and the Mouse are cowards so ofc not in the canon, but in my humble hcs opinion, ofc YES. Frank's the only one Billy feels a connection with and vice versa. And while it's easier for Frank to care for other people than it is for Billy (since, unlike Billy, Frank is capable of compassion), nobody gets him and accepts him the way Billy does. I like to think of that quote from the Darkling for this:

"I've seen what you truly are and I've never turned away."

That's Billy @ Frank. Together with the reasons, I listed in the previous ask where I pointed out how they complement each other ^^

PS: I just wanna say I actually love Dinah but it may be because of my hcs. She was really getting on my nerves at the beginning and then I just made up stuff in my head that made me really fond of her, like Dinah dating Karen Page and being the good bro for Frank and Billy.

Thank you for the reading if you made it this far, THANK YOU for the kind words and keep invading my inbox if you like 🥰💙💙

#asks #brank #frankenbilly #billy russo x frank castle #frank x billy #more brank rant #i love you anon 💙

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 3 years

Note

I'm relieved you're reviewing the comic pages so that I dont have to read them XD

Pfft, well I'm glad you've enjoyed my posts picking apart what we've gotten so far.

Y'know, there was a time before the first comic [the 12 page one where Clem abandons everything] where I was like "Meh, I'm not interested, I'm not even gonna talk about it, it's gonna be a one off thing so whatever."

....but then the 12 page comic came out and a trilogy was annouced and now here I am, picking through a book trailer and wiggling an exasperated finger at each new page we get because I don't understand how it keeps getting worse.

But yeah, I'll be here to read and suffer through this so that y'all don't have to.... just wait until the end of June/beginning of July when the damn thing actually comes out and I lose my goddamn mind trying to piece together a bunch of characters who look the same while dealing with evil twins, a new love interest, and Clementine's face...... hhhhnnnnngggggggg

#asks #twdg clementine

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crystalirises · 3 years

Note

i am completely in love with your harry potter au, got any more crumbs? maybe some young georgebur falling in love? maybe some george x revivebur reunion?

(2/2) oh also I have this hc that not only did wilbur trust george with the hufflepuff cup horcrux just like bellatrix, but that he also made george's wedding ring into the ring horcrux (yk the one that poisoned dumbledors hand? except this one wouldn't be cursed obviously) so george would always have a piece of his husbands soul with him wherever he goes :,( <3 this is way to romantic in my head considering the fact that you have to murder someone and literally split your soul in half to create a horcrux🤦

hello! So this might not be exactly what you wanted cause I kinda like...

You know when you want to write but you're like... nah, I'm tired?

Yeah I'm currently going through that XD. My second year in college is starting next week so I've been busy with enlistment of classes and stuff. I did do something about this (along with other stuff cause I couldn't help myself and someone else asked before if I could make like a second prompt for what happens to Fundy after he got obliviated).

So yeah, this is like ten parts of drabbles that take place in this AU. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted. I'm very sorry.

Fair warning, some parts are dark cause... Georgebur are the villains and well they win and this is a Harry Potter AU, y'all know the villain, y'all know what his agenda is.

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31985884/chapters/82666897

I. First Meeting

“You’re all bark, Mr. Soot.”

He stopped, one foot already at the top of the stairs. Wilbur threw a careless glance back.

And, oh, he was glad he looked back. There were many students within Slytherin, and he only recalled the most interesting ones. George Lore had always been very intriguing. “How so?”

“You’re charming, but I’ve seen your… skills. You’re not very sharp.”

Wilbur laughed, moving back down the stairs to where George waited. He’ll show him sharp.

II. Expelled

“George Lore, the only man I will ever love, I believe this is where we part ways—”

“Wilbur, please keep your mouth shut and assist me with my luggage.” Of all the replies, Wilbur did not expect that. He glanced behind George where a bunch of suitcases waited eagerly to board the boat that would lead them back to the train station. Wilbur was stricken. When they’d expelled him for the murder of some… honestly, he wasn’t quite sure who he had murdered - some nobody mudblood, that was all… one, he had expected George to track him down just for the sake of lecturing him on his stupidity. Yet it seemed, that wasn’t the case. “Well, Wilbur? What do you say? Do we head home to your family’s manor or to mine? Either works for me.”

“Love, as much as I would love for you to stay at my home, what are you… huh?” George rolled his eyes, huffing before finally placing his bags on the boat, muttering on how useless Wilbur was and how he really was just charms and good looks. Not to be upstaged, Wilbur immediately took over, carrying George’s heavy bags onto the boat despite his confusion. He bit the bottom of his lip, watching as George stepped on board, sitting down as he waited for Wilbur to get his own bags into the boat. “Don’t tell me you’ve snuck out. Think of your grades, love, you care so—”

“I care more for you than some school who accepted those filthy mudbloods in the first place.”

Wilbur smiled, “And that’s why I love you. Whoever I killed, they had it coming.”

III. Isolation

George was growing tired of the same dingy walls.

He never thought he’d end up in Azkaban, but fate tends to surprise you.

They trapped him in there, thinking that the dementors would drive him to the brink of madness.

He’d be damned if they were to devour his happiness. His husband was dead, and so was their son. There was no happiness in his mind, and he could not bring himself to hope. Hope meant food for those damned abominations. He’d keep his thoughts and his emotions kept under lock and key. He won’t let them take what was left of what he remembers of Wilbur and their child.

He refuses to lose them again. Not again.

IV. Loss

He wasn’t an orphan, but now he felt like he was.

Fundy rushed out of the house, hands wet with sweat despite the cold and rainy weather of London. His bag dragged across the pavement, his shoes splashing against the murky puddles. He didn’t dare to turn back, he couldn’t. Dream and Sapnap would be devastated if they knew what he had done, but Fundy couldn’t stay and endanger his parents any longer. He loved them, they were the best parents a kid could ever ask for. But Sally and Jared Salmon would be better off thinking that they never had a son and that their lifelong dream was to move to the Netherlands. Fundy walked faster, scared that he’d turn back the longer he stayed near the house.

He could feel the tears gathering in his eyes, but Fundy knew he needed to be strong. Sapnap and Dream needed him to be strong. They’ve all lost too much. He won’t cry until the war is over.

Who knows? Maybe he’ll actually like living in the wizarding world.

He just wished it didn’t have to come with the cost of his parents forgetting he ever even existed.

V. Wedding Ring

George found it to be quite amusing, honestly.

You would think that the Order would know better. Incompetent fools, all of them.

He admired the ring on his finger, a small smile on his face. When they’d dragged him away to Azkaban, they had given him the mercy of leaving the wedding ring that Wilbur had proposed to him with. It was hilarious, if only they had known that they had been looking at a horcrux.

His husband’s horcrux. He shook his head, gazing over at the man who stood at the head of the war table. A map of Hogwarts laid on the surface, his husband’s focused gaze nearly covered by his curly, dark chocolate brown hair. He’d join in on the brainstorming once Wilbur had gained a bit of a plan. While George did adore his husband… he was more the charms than the brains.

For now, he keeps a part of his love’s soul close to his heart.

VI. Knitting Habits

He’s never held a knitting needle before in his life, but he can’t say that knitting wasn’t fun.

“I never thought I’d see the day. You’re getting old, love. Should I get you a rocking chair too?”

George threw a ball of yarn towards Wilbur, eliciting a laugh as it hit Wilbur directly on the face.

“Ever the humorist, Wil. It would be funny if it wasn’t coming from a man who literally came back from the dead and looks decayed.” He sighed, leaning against the wall of the alcove. Wilbur was still mulling over their plans, a crease in his forehead. “I’m making a scarf for our little son.”

Now here’s to hoping that Fundy would like it. George did do it with the colors of their family.

VII. Home

He trembled, the effects of the spell washing over him like a pile of snow.

George was whispering into his ear, but Fundy couldn’t hear him over the sound of his own breathing. Dream was dead, Sapnap got hit by a crucio spell, and George was taking him back to be tortured all over again. He continued to shiver, tears pouring past his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to keep himself from crying. The world around them melted back into existence, but all he could feel was his heart beating loudly in his chest and the arms wrapped around him.

“Shh, shhh, you’re alright, sweetheart.”

His captor pulled him along, keeping an arm wrapped around his shoulders, squeezing him every now and then each time he tried to put a bit of distance between them. He was led inside a room, and from the way it looked, Fundy could tell it wasn’t an ordinary guest room. It felt too lived-in, too personal. George led him to sit on the edge of the bed, gently petting his messy and dirty hair.

“It’s alright, Fundy. You’re home with dads now.”

VIII. Scarf

Fundy scowled, the scarf somehow tight against his neck despite it practically falling off.

He felt George adjust it back around him, fussing over him like he was a child and not some captive that they’ve been keeping locked inside their room. Fundy knew he wasn’t the tallest, his best friends already joke - well, they used to - about it, but George was just a foot taller and still he somehow felt even smaller. He huffed, moving away until his back was against the wall of the alcove. George didn’t make a move to follow him, simply sighing before turning back to Wilbur.

He buried his face against the scarf, trying to bring himself comfort.

If he tried hard enough, he could catch the faint scent of ash and black licorice. Sapnap had worn the scarf at some point during the battle since he thought it looked comfortable to wear. Fundy had given it to him since he didn’t know where it came from and it had been too big for him.

What he’d give to go back to that time, instead of clinging to the fading scent of his best friend.

IX. Very Dark Blue Eyes

There was a stranger in his room.

Fundy nervously fiddled with the end of his scarf. His wand was still on the nightstand where he had left it, and the stranger was blocking his way. He’d barely seen anyone for the past few months aside from his dads, but he could already tell who the stranger was. The stranger was his age and had long black hair falling past his shoulders. Fundy knew he was a Halo immediately.

“Holy shit… Fundy! Finally, I’ve been scouting the fucking grounds for hours! This place has terrible security, well except for the wards but they were easy to break.” The stranger rambled on and on, each word striking Fundy with more confusion. He wasn’t sure why he was acting like they knew each other. Fundy had no friends - aside from his Uncle Tommy but Uncle Tommy was awkward around him - so he wouldn’t know the stranger, especially since they were a Halo of all things. The stranger moved closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I missed you!”

“Who are you?” He moved away from the stranger’s hold, avoiding the stricken look that the stranger was giving him. Fundy scowled. Of all the times to leave his wand where he couldn’t reach it. “I know you’re one of those… Halos at least. Now, how did you get inside my room?!”

“Fundy…” Very dark blue eyes gazed at him, hurt dancing in their stare. “It’s me, Sapnap…”

X. You’re a Wizard, Fundy

The letter came at some point during the night.

His mama had asked his papa if he’d enrolled Fundy in a faraway school by accident, but papa had said that he hadn’t. They were whispering about it during breakfast, throwing glances at him every so often as though they didn’t want him to hear. He pretended not to care, attention focused on his breakfast. Mama and papa weren’t arguing, but it almost felt like they were. He hoped that their conversation would be over soon, but it continued even after Fundy finished his breakfast. He left his plate on the table before walking out of the dining room and into the hall. Mama and papa didn’t seem to even notice that he had left. Now to find what was the problem.

He found the problem all too quickly, his scavenger hunt cut short by the fancy letter that had been left on top of a table in the hallway. Fundy held the letter in his hand, the paper coarser than most that he’d felt. He knew he shouldn’t be snooping, but his mama and papa never talked about something so incessantly, at least not something about him. He snuck back into his room, the letter clutched in his hand. Maybe he’d failed his entrance exam at the school his parents were enrolling him in? He pouted, but he’d studied so hard for it and it had been so easy for him!

Fundy didn’t know why his hands trembled as he tried to pull the letter open. Mama had folded it back to the way it had been, and he couldn’t really see the trace of ink at the back. A part of him wanted to hide it away, maybe then mama and papa would stop worrying about it. He didn’t know why, but a part of him felt like something was about to end the moment he opened the letter. He took a deep breath. He could handle long hours of studying, even though his mama and papa said it wasn’t healthy for him to stay up so late. He could handle what was inside the letter. With shaking hands, he opened it, scanning the life-changing words that were meant for him.

If he only knew what that letter meant at the time, then maybe he would have just burned it.

#georgenotfound dsmp #wilbur soot #georgebur #fundy #sapnap #dream smp fanfiction #dsmp #harry potter AU

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herotome · 3 years

Note

HR reporter, reporting for duty XD (gonna use my acc this time) Man, did NOT expect Dart to do that - anxieties r through the roof ;u; Got another ask, but this time be for you yourself - just a few to check on you.

1) How's your month been?

2) Are you drinking enough water?

3) Did you/your crew get enough sleep? (Considering you're all making the game wnd all ;u;)

4) Please remember to take breaks if you need them! (Not exactly an ask - just a reminder!)

I'll try to think up more scenario asks when it comes to mind XD Mwahahahaha!

Aha, HR reporter revealed!! 🎤 Happy to have you and looking forward to hearing more from you! :)

I actually just drank water so the timing is a little 🔮, but hey we can check that off the list.

How's my month: I feel like I've been more present - not just in blog activity, but also in talking to people and having more mental bandwidth to spend on things. I feel like June and July were kinda foggy in a lot of ways - and that sensation comes and goes. I've learned not to panic when things get foggy. I'm grateful this month is going well so far, but I'm striving not to be hard on myself when I inevitably trip into fog again. We all kin elevators We all have ups and downs!

Sleep: I try to sleep no later than midnight every night and I think I get enough sleep overall, yes. I can't speak for my crew (?? 😂) but I hope they're taking care of themselves!

Breaks: Oh here's the demon among the angels. I am so bad at taking breaks - especially taking full days off on weekends. I do try, but I get so bored... But if I press myself to work all the time, even though I'm having a lot of fun, I know from experience that I WILL suffer some heady consequences. I try to ask myself "Would you rather lose 5-20 minutes on taking breaks here and there, or lose A MONTH to recovering from burnout/wristpain/other consequences?" The obvious correct answer is the former!

I'm having to teach myself that sometimes my body and mind need to just not do anything... even though I hate it!! Woe is me stuck in this meat mech flesh prison.

Maybe y'all can give me some advice here. What do you do to relax, what do you do for fun? 👀

#mental health #speaking of breaks #I've been answering scenario asks in bulk #and then queuing them #so there might be a small lapse soon #until my next bulk writing session #just a lil behind the scenes insight!

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

Text

I JUST FINISHED EPISODE FOUR AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Well technically I didn't JUST finish it I had to stressed-ly pace around my house for three minutes first xd

And then stare at a picture of an otter which was blessedly the first thing on my dash

Uh anyway :')

OVEIAIWNOHWNZLFKSMSHDBWKABWIDBAUWCNSMLQEZ????!?!!!? SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING SHAKING THROWING UP!!?!???!?!!!!!

SEB HOW COULD YOU D O THIS TO ME??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO CARLOS?? MY BABY I LOVE YOU BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW 😭😭😭 GIVE ME A CIRCUMSTANCE SEB I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LIKE DID SOMEONE KISS YOU AND WE'RE CALLING THAT IT BECAUSE IF IT NEVER GETS EXPLAINED THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING WITH AND I CAN MAKE WHATEVER I WANT CANON THANK YOU VERY MUCH

ALSO HOW DID THIS HAPPEN SEB YOU CAN'T LIE AND YOU WENT TO CAMP THE SECOND TO LAST DAY

AND JARRED???!?!!!!? SIR WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G HER!????!!?!!!

Okay I'm genuinely struggling to breathe a tiny bit so I'mma take a second lol

Okay I'm back :) did some breathing and a physical exercise to work some of this out lol

Anyway as soon as Seb said he had something to tell Carlos I got SUPER nervous and I was pausing so much but as soon as I started to say it and I saw the subtitles I literally screamed and his for like 3 minutes straight 😭 xd. Y'all I am living my worst life right now lol xd.

WHEN I ASKED FOR SEBLOS ANGST THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!!

But uh anyway I knew Seb was in a knight outfit (boy we had no idea what that promo pic meant 😭) so I was wondering if the pumpkin was someone he sent or MAYBE him, and then I was thinking a) it's Big Red (especially after interrupting Ashlyn and Maddox around the time I was thinking this) b) it's the person Seb cheated with or c) it's both (awful, worst possible option for anything about this situation). And THEN I was like okay so Jarred, is this the dancer, an ex, the guy he cheated with, or both Carlos's ex AND the guy Seb cheated with. Luckily it's just the dancer xd. Not great news, still, but, you know lol.

Frankie wasn't lying when he said these first few episodes were an episode of Housewives 😭

Boy those episodes really can Housewives 😭 xD

Anyway, uhh, I was depressed in the first half but hoping they'd talk and just not come to a total understanding yet, but then by the end I was screaming throwing up losing my mind :) also I'm pretty sure we don't get Seb next episode so :') because now I need to watch HIM beg lol, even it out xD

Also if we don't get Over Again till the last or second to last episode I freaking swear-

ANYWAY! This is not just a seblos post XD. This is an episode four post lol.

Rina is going THROUGH IT 😭😭. I gotta say Ricky I think you should make it clear that Miss Jenn wanted to switch Dani in lol, not you xd. And I also wish they'd both managed to tell each other about the various situations 😬. When Mack first mentioned it I thought Ricky overheard and I went o.o but xd. Also I know you were in front of everyone but Gina why didn't you just explain the mom thing DD:. Poor Ricky he's going through it for real :((. And with college and everything too :'( D':. Anyway they were cute for a bit this episode and they slayed but xdd 😭. I love them <33.

ASHLYN GIRLLL WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGG!!! Like lowkey 👀👀👀👀 but also girl Big Red 😭😭💔. Unless it was him and Seb in which case I don't think I or this friend group would ever recover but also idk if there would be a need to escalate nonetheless lol- aUAGH ESCALATE THAT REMINDS ME OF SEB-

Whoops sorry lol 🤪 that was so crazy wild 😌

Anyway :D that SONG THOUGHHH!! It was a bop :DD!!! Also not Ashlyn crying when she thought Maddox wasn't okay 😭😭😭💔. Y'all I'm not okay, thank you very much <333

And 😬😬 there's confirmation that Mad and Mad are down - or, as Maddox said lol, bad xd. Sorry guys :(((

Kourtney honey DD:. I swear that's how I start her part every episode XD. At least it's not multiple y's on either word this time lol. Anyway, I'm glad she went out 🥰🥰. I was scared she'd just stay in :((. But while she's CLEARLY stressing, I'm so happy she went to the party and had fun with them :D. And I do think she should look outside of Ivy Leagues, I think something will definitely come from that in some way :).

And speaking of Kourtney SLFKGFJSHDK JET!!! Man is trying his best but it was HILARIOUS lol xDD. Also his moment with Ricky was great xD. But seriously my guy, nice, smooth lol xd. ~Fabric~. Also, little sus over there calling Mack and Ricky hot one after the other xDD. Anyway lol. Also it's really sweet that he helped Maddox with the prank to make it up to her :')) 🥰❤️. I love them so much your honor, thank you very much <3. Another point to that is Maddox's reaction to Ashlyn saying Emmy probably has a crush on him lol xD.

Miss Jenn DD:. I'm sorry honey :((. I'm sorry to Ricky's dad too, he's been great this season DD':. And he's such a MOOD too lol xD. But yeah, honestly, they just don't work great together :'//. And I mean I've wanted them to break up but it was still sad :'( 😭 and I didn't wanna see it I didn't deserve it xD. But nah I'm glad we saw it lol, it's for the best. I'll miss y'all though <33. But not too much xD. Oh and her scene with Ricky and the end was amazing :'DD. I think she's calling Mr. Mazzaraaaa? Idk but I think so and anyway I really loved the scene :'D. Also slay costume lol.

Slay costume EVERYONE y'all were all amazing :DD!!! Everyone slayed so hard they brought the house down 🥰🥰❤️😍🤩✨🥰.

Missing you EJ, Mr. Mazzara, Nini, and Emmy :)). Love you guys <333. Though from the picture on the next episode bit after finishing episode four it looks like EJ's gonna be in the next one :O!!! We love that for us :DD!!!

Anyway yeah xD. Everyone's going through it lol. But I hate to break it to you guys, Carlos is going through it more 😭 xD. Like y'all his boyfriend's been icing him out supposedly because he thinks Carlos cheated on him and when he's finally willing to talk Carlos finds out that Seb cheated on him, and that the lowkey creepy person who bothered him a bit during the night was the person he was accused of, in a documentary that was streamed world wide, is there and wants to be with him. Just. Wow xd. Leave this man ALONE!! Like in the angst department 😭. I mena I love it but come on xdd. Anyway lol!! They seriously are all going through it though lol xD.

Anyway!! This episode was absolutely AMAZING and I loved and despised it :DD. How could you do this to me :')). The music was amazing (y'all that first song was SO FREAKING COOL!!! I loved it it was wild :DDD)!! Both songs were so good, and COMPLETE opposites lol. Despite partially being about the same thing xD. Like storyline wise lol (as in at least a bit about Ashlyn and Maddox being sus). Anyway! The drama was off the CHARTS and it was just a really good episode all around :)). I did genuinely enjoy it lol xdd. Still though, I am going to kill someone <3. I don't know who, but somebody :) xd. And Carlos is death so he's in on it, he'll help me with it lol.

Anyway xD. It was great. I am so freaking scared for the next episode and episodes, thank you :')). But SO EXCITED!! Still dying though lol <333.

NEXT UP IS EPISODE FIVE!!!

#hsmtmts #oasis's hsmtmts chatter #high school musical the musical the series #hsmtmts s4 #high school musical the musical the series season 4 #episode 4 tw 😭 xDD #y'all the maddox and ashlyn fans (which I kinda am lol - multishipper here yk xD) must be going wild but also D: that their stuff was in #such an episode xD #like such a crazy and upsetting one lol #anyway!!!#hsmtmts spoilers #I'm fine thanks how are you :'))#I was scared from the person who said I wasn't ready on a preivous post but I should've been more scare :'D #anyway no matter the situation I better not see any seb hate around me #not that he's not the one that messed up lol #and I better have no point in saying this but I s w e a r if I see a single thing about joe #anyway 🥰#losing my mind :')#SEE Y'ALL IN A BIT!!!

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sleeping-platinum · 2 years

Note

have you seen the new art for the next season + essence?? bc there's gonna be a new a skin for philippe + christina (for the life of me i can't remember if he has a double l or double p im so sorry if i misspelled it TT)

i think christinia looks really pretty :)

the essence is based of off rome btw !! (or maybe greece,,)

Yes! I happened to see it by chance and I absolutely lost my mind as soon as I did with my sister as my witness and boy am I not proud of that but also didn't care cause I love this man far too much.

And you're all right, it's double P but a lot of people vary with the name, I don't think its a big deal (I, myself, happen to switch the spelling on occasion when I get confused with it ☠)

Christina is the one that actually really stood out to me! She's just so beautiful like, darling you're magnificent and I love you too. They're both so, so pretty I'm in danger if I can't somehow get them. 🥲 This is big to me and I'm still absolutely losing my mind over it~ 💕

The next season can't come soon enough, I just hope by then my internet fixes itself because oh my goodness, my friend, I was having such a bad experience with it lately and of course it had to be in duos. It literally felt like I forgot how to play Philippe with how bad it was, I could cry XD (thankfully Robbie was sweet and was a pro because I literally only got one survivor. They absolutely carried the game and I feel terrible for it ☠)

All that considered, I just really want Philippe's new skin and if I happen to get the others, hooray for the luck, but if I get everyone but him, I'll definitely cry~

The theme of the essence though is killing me because it just sounds like it's telling everyone "Y'all are greasy, go take a bath"

#Mxthtea #Asks #Yo it was bad enough i screamed and was yelling and wasnt ashamed of it #I'm in too deep for this game and this man #like top notch embarrassment and I'm not even ashamed of it ☠#Also I laughed cause people are mad he gets an A-tier skin and not someone else as if he gets a lot of spotlight #Man is barely remembered he's a part of the game and rare to match with let him have this!!#Another painful reminder is that i do not have Fury so you can bet i will try to get my grubby paws on every other skin i possibly can 🥲#I'm sorry this is so long I just love him too much

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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thenexusofsouls · 3 years

Note

Ok yeah I rlly hope Tony x Wanda and Pietro x Carter does not happen in the same AU because AGAIN I was going insane :DD For that I already watched the show Once Upon a Time (amazing show but the family connections are complicated AF) I know Pietro is alive in that AU because he confronts Tony about the pregnancy LOL. Sorry I messed with y'alls brains but it's not like I was willing to lose my mind alone by myself!

{i am the caretaker of souls} Yeah, I think for my sanity, for @ironxkid's sanity, and for the sanity of everyone reading our threads, haha... we'll keep these ships in separate AUs. Because... it’s just not good to be crossing too many streams within families like this, lol.

And we definitely don’t want to start crossing threads of the multiverse either...

So we’ll just leave this nice and simple, shall we? XD

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ #muse: tony stark

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tylerwritez · 3 years

Text

TUESDAY JULY 13 10:42 A.M.

JUDE IS BACK FROM HIS HIATUS!!!!

One thing I think I will no longer be doing is writing down negative feelings and thoughts and... leaving them there. No. Next time I vent, I delete it right after.

If you want something to be sad over, you'll find something. But if you GENUINELY ATTEMPT to be happy, you will be.

So try harder.

Also, my new phone background is a collage thing of me and my friends at Rebecca's house.

I originally did it as this cool way to remember my besties XD but now it also kinda helps my #SelfEsteem because whenever I think my face is ugly, I look at my phone background and I'm like "that's what you look like, no filter, nothing" and it makes me happier because in that background image I just see a boy being stupid with his friends and I sorta smile like "yeah, that IS what I look like, no filter"

I like it cos, those pictures were taken without me doing anyhting to try and look better, so I KNOW that's like. How I REALLY look. And tbh? Not that bad.

I don't even really mind my smile lines anymore. Cos they're from SMILING!!! means I'm a happy guy.

ALSO I THINK I PASS IN MY BACKGROUND? because I'm that kinda of ugly that says "male" yk, especially next to my friends who are girls/nonbinary I just seem so Boy idk its gender... the photo set is very Gender for my face XDDD THIS IS REALLY STUPID

oh well. Positivity only now, babes.

Also! You may have noticed my HIATUs from posting!!! Yeah, I'll still post, and I'll update y'all on my life... but NOT DAILY... I don't really have the time for that.

I'll do it maybe whenever I feel like, but I'll try and stick to weekly, biweekly, idk, whenever I feel like I should talk about my life, whenever things happen.

Right now I'm actually on a roadtrip!!!

We just spent a day on all the amusement park rides at the Calgary Stampede!! It was AWESOME.

Also we have spent time in #nature and I'm COLLECTING! ROCKS! >:) THEY ARE WAY COOLER OUTSIDE MY HOMETOWN JUST SAYING...

Maybe I'll find a hagstone.

So far no, I've only found cool stripey ones but no hagstones.

Maybe I'm not meant to find a hagstone. Maybe whatever gives me my good luck is protection enough.

ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE, I HAVEN'T STOLEN ANYTHING FOR THIS WHOLE TRIP... SO LIKE 1 OR 2 WEEKS. WHICH IS CRAZY!!! PROUD OF MYSELF :)

ALSO I HAVEN'T CUT MYSELF FOR LIKE A MONTH MAYBE(?) WHICH IS SO WOW.

see? I can totally do this! You'll see.

Lately I haven't been stressing AT ALL. like. So much happiness and fun, out on my roadtripppp!

I have had a few stressors.... but like. I've done my best to push them aside, because I know it'll be better not to think about them.

Like, I'm starting to think all my unhappiness cOMES FROM THINKING ABOUT MY STRESSORS TOO MUCH... OVERTHINKING.

However, if I tell myself "don't worry, you'll find a way, you always do" and then try n forget, I'm so much happier.

Here are my current #stressors... since everyone loves some drama (I'm listing em)

1. I MIGHT LOSE MY VIRGINITY UHHHH AND IM NERVOUS AND IDK IF I SHOULD OR WHAT ITLL FEEL LIKE OR IF I SHOULD WAIT.... AAAAAAAA IDK ITS KINDA SCARY COS WHAT IF IT HURTS A LOT... WHAT IF IT FUCKS ME UP. IDK. I KNOW NOTHING.

2. MY STEALING + CUTTING ISSUES... LIKE. I'M ADDICTED???? AND OFC IM HAPPY I MANAGE TO GET BY WITHOUT IT BUT SOMETIMES ITS VERY HARD. TO RESIST. YOUR URGES.

man if that god guy is real I bet hes happy with me (or I guess god can be a girl, or nonbinary, or maybe is not male but still uses he/him, or maybe DOESNT use he him pronouns and we are fuckig it up???? Idk I will just say "he")

(I doubt god has a gender tho lol. He made man and woman in his image yeah? So then.... uh.... he would be intersex(?)

Personally I think god has No genitals at all and No gender either. But then again, I dont even believe in a god...)

ALL IM SAYING IS. IF GOD WAS REAL. THEY WOULD PROBABLY BE PLEASED THAT I AM. RESISTING SIN? SO WELL.

... cos cutting yourself IS a sin....

That used to upset me so much dude. I read this bible passage... and it would be CONSTANTLY referenced. Your body is a temple. Its sinful to harm your body. Its sinful to use drugs, is what they said at school, but like. What about other types of intentional harm? Sin. Sinful.

I used to be so invested in that Catholicism shit, man. And afterward, after I. Did the cutting. I'd be covered in half dried sticky blood. I'd smell the metallic smell so strongly.... because I bled out A LOT... its incredible to me honeslty, how such minor styros and occasional light fat cuts can gush out so MUCH blood. It's a lot. It's more than you'd expect from a little cut. The cuts pool up with blood and then overflow.

It trickles down your legs.

But I'd be patching myself up afterward (basically tryna clean the blood, stop the bleeding, make sure I didnt bleed out onto my sheets and dirty them in my sleep... make sure I didnt leave evidence) and I'd think to myself "this is a sin, I am a sinner..."

Ofc my stupid ass was constantly begging for forgiveness, praying, reading the bible, blah blah, please I just wanna serve you, please help me, please...

What a pathetic state to be in most of my junior high years HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA XD XDDDDD LMAOOOO LMFAOOOOOO ROFLLLLL

like. I had a corner of the school I used SPECIFICALLY to cry.

How sad...

BUT NOW IM IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! AND I AM PLEASED TO INFORM YOU THAT I HAVE

0 CRYING SPOTS

MANY MAKING OUT SPOTS

like woah its almost like. I dont have to suffer at all.

I'm winning now.

W. What was I talking about before I started rambling. Idk. I forget. Oh well.

POSITIVITY ONLY BABES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ILL KEEP YALL UPDATED I SWEAR

SIGNING OFF,

JUDE SHEPARD

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lgchunji · 4 years

Photo

✧ .・゜゜hello, lgc admods!

chwe hunji and jin eunji’s leaf wants to say: “hey admods! i know this may look a little sudden and a little weird but by the time you see this, i’ve been going around asking all the members what they want to say to you guys to show their appreciation! i know admin e probably already told you, but i used to do theater for about two years and i volunteered my time. i probably worked fifteen-thirty hours a week at a theater and i did not get paid and barely was thanked but i always put in effort. i gave them one hundred percent of myself and, if i was lucky, i would get a five dollar starbucks gift card in return. i was so exhausted and even stopped writing because i could not handle how much of myself i was losing every day. i gave a hundred percent of myself away and got five percent back. now, though, with legacy, everything has been flipped! you guys put a hundred ten percent of yourselves into this amazingly fun and honestly complicated place and i feel like i never get to give back. i know the joy of it all is in watching people write together but for me, just having fun was not enough, i wanted to compile something together for you guys! you do so much for us so i thought it was time i give just a sliver of myself back to you. so! under the cut is a lot of people’s messages that i’ve gathered. a lot of members were unable to send in something in time so i do apologize that not everyone is here, but i added a space in the bottom for anyone and everyone who wants to add something at a later date, so admins and members, be sure to check that often! in the meantime, though, you guys are so amazing and this place already means so much to me, i really hope legacy can continue to grow and flourish beyond your guys’ dreams because you really deserve it! p.s. the below notes are not in any particular order of length or alphabetized, they’re just random C:”

han insoo’s al wants to say: “thank you for your kindness and dedication. you guys are troopers. i’m not very vocal about things publicly out of shyness but also bad experiences. i hope you guys know i appreciate to be here and that you guys have kept this up for so long despite the setbacks. it’s been a while since i felt comfy in a directory. much hugs and kithes!! thank you for being so open and welcoming!” kang yonghwa and choi daehyung’s muffin wants to say- "thank you so much for all of the hard work! legacy is not an easy rp to run with all these career branches and events going on. i appreciate all of the mods for making this rp extra special by celebrating birthdays, holidays and other occasions. I love you all muahhhhhh~" liu jiao and ok miyoung’s faye wants to say- “i disappeared from the rp scene for awhile and was kind of lost when it came to fitting back into everything. but joining legacy helped me along and i am so glad i decided to put my muse here. thank you to all the mods and for all of their hard word. i felt so welcomed by not only them, but the other members of the directory as well. so thank you for the lovely community you’ve brought together here. i am happy to say that legacy holds a special place in my heart.” yoon shinha and pongsak, tee's simone wants to say: “when i first joined legacy it was because i had some friends here and i had read about it a lot on twitter. i was nervous and scared, which is how i usually feel when joining a new place. working on my own points page from scratch was a first but i was proud of myself and i felt accomplished when i finished it. i joined as a connection and it gave me a boost when it came to plotting. everyone was so nice and welcoming and i honestly love that when joining a new directory. the events were many and i was both excited and scared at how many there were. even if i couldn't understand something i knew i could ask an admin or mod and would get a quick reply. i love how kind and supportive the staff is. i've been here for a few months now and i always recommend it to others. i know that no matter what, i can go to a staff member with a question and i don't need to feel stupid for asking something bc the staff are so helpful and understanding. the thought that goes into this roleplay and the events are amazing and i am honestly so amazed every time a new event gets posted. they give sufficient time frames for events and i know they try to make it as fair as possible. i honestly love it here and i love the hard work and the time that is put into legacy.” park taekyung and heo jane’s bobbi wants to say: “thank you for taking the time to create this awesome community! the time and effort you put into this rp is what makes it such a fun place and i hope that this post brings you just as much joy as you bring us! <3" mayura nana’s cc wants to say: “i’ve been on and off in the group, seeing the first time it opened and how hard working the admins were to coming back and seeing the amount of growth in just a few months. i truly appreciate all that you guys have done for your members, the patience and love you put into every little thing you do so everyone can develop and enjoy themselves. you guys make this rp fun and safe and i’m forever grateful to have found a true home for my muse. keep up the good work and i can’t wait to continue being here and witnessing even more love and growth from the team ❤️” park seojin, im hana and kang seyoon’s sara wants to say: “hello lovely team. it's been a great ride thus far and i'm so happy to have been here from the beginning to see the community grow. you've built a really nice and wholesome place here and it's been one of the best roleplays i've been in so far. it's hard running things but always remember that people love and respect you and so many of us are rooting for good things every day. you're human too and if you make a mistake, never beat yourself up over it. you keep things so much fun. truly nothing more i could ask of from a team. i’ve sent other messages in the past but there's really no limit to the praises and support i can offer to you guys. keep up the good work!! ♡♡” wu aaron and kim alex’s em (aka the awkward cookie) wants to say - "to the amazing admins of this rp, i haven't been here nearly as long as others but i really enjoy having my muses here! i love lgc so much and you're all amazing admins who work very hard to keep this place running with amazing events! keep up the great work and i can't wait to see what else you all have planned! (please torture alex as much as you can. xD) i don't think i've really talked to the admins here much but still, i love you all and everything you do! <3 please don't let any negative comments or reviews get to ya'll and just know you're all doing great!" choi jongsuk, son jieun, and kim jinah‘s jen wants to say - "@ the mod team from your resident meme! you guys know how much i love lgc. i'm not shy annoying y'all with compliments and praise. every sunday is a highlight because there is always something exciting being posted- be it just a date lottery update or new events; you never fail to surprise and spoil us all with fun and creative ideas! also the way you manage to keep things as fair as possible for everyone and still manage to not make anyone feel left out or left behind. the quick replies to any kind of questions are just so nice to see and it makes me personally not scared ever to ask anything at all no matter how stupid the question may be! i probably annoy y'all with how often i said this already but i love this rp. i love the graphics, the concept and the execution of it all. thank you for creating this amazing space for all of us to write and hopefully to many more years! true to my name i shall exit on a meme~" hwang subin and han allie’s nic wants to say - “hello admins!!! it's me, a nic. i know that i've said a lot of this in the past but to sum it all up, i love you guys!! thanks for giving me a place to feel a bit more comfortable when i don't feel that way in rp a lot lately. i love that you guys are always gracious and accepting of criticisms, questions, and critiques and i hope you continue to always be that way because i think it's important for rps to listen to their members. i also want you to know that you don't have to stand for rudely stated words just because you do that, either!! i appreciate the time you take to answer my questions, whether it be through the manager blog or through discord and for all the opportunities you've given my muses ( even if ONE of them might not be so grateful. i'm lookin at u subin ) so yeah ;u; i hope u all are having a lovely day, pls take care!!!” tsai sunisa, park sarang, and jung jihye’s the ghost rper wants to say - “number one, thank you for making legacy an rp! i'm having a lot of fun with all of muses! especially since it's given me a chance to bring muses i've played before alive in another rp. two, they're [the admins] awesome for all of the stuff they've managed to do for the group and how many options you have to be apart of the industry and do more background related stuff! third, just stay awesome and remember to put yourself before rp! since without ya'll we wouldn't be here!” min soyoun and kim jinseo‘s clara wants to say - "hi mods! thank you for making lgc a fun and safe haven for us. i appreciate the love, thought, and effort you all put in every single mission/event that happens in the roleplay. you guys are doing amazing!" kwon sihyun‘s shinobi wants to say - “thank you for making me feel welcome!” park iseul and ahn dohyun’s nine wants to say - “thank you so much for all your hard work! over the months i've been at lgc i've always felt like the admods have kept every single muse in mind when creating events and moulding the rp to fit the members. i've never felt as in love with an rp as i do now. keep up the good work, i can't wait to see the rp grow more and more!” choi max and im nari‘s jada wants to say - “hi there mods !!! i didn't want this whole appreciation to go by without saying some words of my own, so here i go ! when i joined legacy a few months back i was hesitant to even join, doubting that i'd want to stay to make it even past the next activity check. it was an act of pure impulse, but perhaps the best thing i could've done ! alongside the many great friends i've made along the way, if it was not for all the hard work you do, the roleplay would not be nearly as lively of a universe as we've all made it to be ! i always compliment legacy for the dedication you all clearly have to making it enjoyable - from events going on all the time, to in-character posts that liven the spectrum of our creativity, to your speedy responses and patience whenever we have trouble ! i think me and the rest of the members can agree that what you do makes us enjoy the roleplay even more, and we always will be appreciative of that !! i think you guys run the roleplay SO smoothly at times that we forget the hard work you put in and the bumps you might encounter along the way, but it's times like this that make me realize how much more we should thank you. because of the team behind it all, i've once again found my place in a roleplay that's made me feel at home, and always ready to write and have fun !! i'm extremely grateful for the passion you've shown us and i hope that i too can do my best to make sure your hard work pays off and give thanks ! i'm looking forward to writing with all of you and giving a voice to our muses for as long as i'm able to type, haha ! <33 “ ahn yeoreum’s kay wants to say - "my first experience with krp wasn't exactly the best. i didn't land myself in the most welcoming environment and was planning to never join another krp. but i took a chance in lgc and didn’t regret it. since day one, everyone has been so welcoming and i loved playing yeoreum here. the admods have worked so hard to make this such a nice environment to rp in and i love how well thought-out all the events and activities are. thank you so much, admods !! we are super lucky to have such a talented and hard-working team. <3″ ji haneul’s maddy wants to say - “to legacy admods uwu, thank you for your endless hard work! seeing how the community has grown over the last few months, as well as the tons of opportunities for character development has made my time here absolutely amazing. i just want to say how much i love the rp, and how inspiring it can be in churning my writing muses. keep up the good work, and i hope you guys would also be able to have as much fun as the work you've put in in maintaining the rp! take care, stay safe, and stay awesome >:D *flings plushies in your directions* ♡" lee seungjae’s fifi wants to say - "hello admods!!! i just wanted to say thank you for everything that you've done for lgc! i haven't been here long but everything about it is great and i can tell you've put in so much work to make it the great place that it is!" kang dana‘s jay wants to say - “thank you so much for working so hard on this roleplay and allowing all of our characters to develop however we like! i have never enjoyed a rp as much as this one <3" hwang jaerim and im hyunjin’s jia wants to say - "hello admod team, yall know im always here to bother u all with my weirdness and you guys are all great to talk to. i've been lucky enough to have been here since day 1 and to see this place flourish and see all the efforts you put into the rp, makes me glad to be here. thank you!!" oh max and park viggo’s lyn wants to say - "as one of those muns that has been in legacy from the very beginning, i've witnessed this rp grow and i can’t help but to feel extremely proud and happy for the admod team who works tirelessly to make sure that the progress isn’t only with the rp but genuinely with the muses within it. the admins take it into their own hands to celebrate the achievements that muses have obtained and put them on the spotlight, personally i've experienced screaming and getting emotionally overwhelmed with some of the mods at how happy and ecstatic i felt with some of the results for my muses. with that said i want to make it clear that my muses don’t always get what they want, when it happens, i do share some down time with said mods as well- not to complain but to just talk. the same happens vice versa, when the mods' muses don’t get a spot in future dreams or didn’t get the center of a group, or when they land a cf spot or has made progress by moving on a different path, i'm able to witness their reactions as muns as well- which quite frankly is humbling considering that it reminds me that their muns too and not just mods. essentially what i'm trying to say is that based on my experience and mine alone although i have no doubt i'm not the only one who feels this, clearly this post proves it, that the admod team is not just there to provide us with countless numbers of events or answer our endless amount of questions and woes with admirable patience or guide us in the right direction when we misplace a point or two in our submits, but rather to present us muns with a safe and progressive platform to comfortably establish and allow our muses to flourish in a highly entertaining environment. so thank you legacy team for your heartwarming and admirable work, i know this hasn’t been easy for you guys but hang in there, a lot of us got your backs ♡"

these are the folks who wanted to add something after this post was first published:

no one at the moment! if you want to say something to our lovely admins please either message them through the lgckrp askbox or, if you’re more shy, send me an IM or send it to lgchunji’s askbox with your message in quotations, which blogs you run, and your name/alias!

#lgckrp #( oof hope they see this lol )#✧ .・゜゜leaf talks

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