#y'all are sick in the head

[thelifeofniy]

Are you cracking it open on your Twitch 👀

cracking a brewski 🍻

[zephyrchama]

(obey me!) moments where they fall in love with you all over again

---01

It’s dinner, and you’re talking about mundane things that happened during your day. You saw a cool bird, got some gum stuck on your shoe, and bought a new flavor of toothpaste to try. Everyone is listening intently. If only they would pay this much attention in class.

Lucifer knows the way his brothers look at you all too well. It’s a look full of respect, admiration, and fondness. It’s a look that’s often reflected on his own face when in your presence. At first he never really understood why you put up with his siblings, as the option to ignore them and be on your way was always there. Yet you continue to make time for them anyway. How unusual.

Moments like these where everyone is together and you don’t treat them as the Seven Rulers of Hell, you just treat them as your dear friends and family. That’s what makes Lucifer soft. He tries to imagine a long future of things staying just like this.

---02

Mammon’s hesitant to lend anybody money, even you. It takes a few minutes to butter him up and fluff his ego before he relents. At last, he hands you the crispest bill in his wallet. “Don’t spend it all in one place,” he kids, knowing full well he’d do just that if he was in your shoes.

He’s curious what you plan to buy. It never dawns on him that you have no intention of spending the cash. Half an hour later, he finds it on his desk. The exact same bill, now creased and folded neatly into an origami bird.

He picks it up to wiggle the little paper wings, entranced, then looks around frantically and catches your eye. A playful smile graces your face and tugs at his heartstrings.

---03

Leviathan is not typically one to make mistakes when it comes to anime. But even he’s not perfect.

He had it set in his mind that the new show premiered at 6:00pm, which left plenty of time to prepare the ultimate solo viewing party after school. He was humming quietly to himself when you walked over. “Isn’t your show starting soon?”

You specifically took an interest in his hobbies. You remembered that it started at 16:00 (four o’clock), not 6:00. Leviathan wondered, how could he make such a egregious mistake? You were the one who dashed back to the House of Lamentation at full speed by his side. When your human stamina started failing, he unconsciously picked you up so you’d both make it in time. You made it with two minutes to spare.

Sweaty and out of breath, still in uniform, you were able to watch the premiere together. It wasn’t until after credits rolled, you went elsewhere, and the live reactions on social media started calming down that Levi realized what a big deal this was to him. What a big deal you were to him.

---04

Satan wasn’t expecting you to be spacing out in his favorite armchair. He had plans to read in it that evening, and considered asking you politely to move. But the way the lamp light shines on your skin, the thoughtful expression on your face while pondering ideas unknown. The way your lips part ever so slightly and your eyes gaze off into nothing. It captivates him. You look like a painting. His breath gets caught in his throat, and in clearing it he manages to break your trance.

“Oh, hey. Welcome home, I didn’t realize you were there.”

You go to get out of the chair, but Satan insists you stay. It doesn’t look right without you anymore. He doesn’t feel right without you anymore.

---05

Asmodeus does not have wardrobe malfunctions often. His outfits are of the highest quality and a lot of care goes into putting them on. Still, things happen.

When his fans rush forward out of nowhere, sometimes they are successful in tearing his clothes. A fistful of shirt here, a mouthful of pants-leg there. Being in the center of a lust-fueled stampede can make even the most collected people lose their minds, but you are steadfast. You shout at the rabid demons, shaming them for their disrespect. You believe you can chase them off all on your own, not knowing that the Avatar of Lust behind you is exuding a killer aura and warning his fans to back off with a powerful glare.

As you sloppily stitch up what remains of his shirt so he can walk home without the incident repeating, Asmodeus is smiling from ear to ear. You’re so focused on genuinely helping that you don’t even notice the bedroom eyes he’s flashing. The scene of you waving your arms and trying to chase off a pack of demons as if they were stray pigeons is permanently ingrained in his memory. Just as your existence is ingrained in his soul.

---06

Beelzebub knows what he likes. He knows what will catch his interest and is pleasantly surprised when a new one crops up.

One thing he likes is you. Another is food. Both are in the cafeteria. He piles a tray high with carbs and goes looking for you at lunch time, finding you seated in the middle of a long table at the edge of the room. He calls your name.

It’s unexpected, the way you quickly swing your head up mid-bite. Your cheeks are full and noodles dangle from your mouth, sauce dripping back onto your plate. Your eyes light up as you look at him from below. It makes him stop in his tracks, causing several shorter demons to walk into him. Such a simple action, yet so profound. You hurriedly chew and offer him a seat while Beelzebub powers through his emotions. He takes a seat across from you to offer a napkin, wondering when he’ll see that face again.

---07

It’s late, far past everyone’s bedtime. Yet Belphegor forgot to tell you something during the day and decided now would be a great time. When you don’t respond to the quiet knocks at your door, he lets himself inside. Your sleeping figure looks too comforting to resist and he gets the brilliant idea to crawl into bed with you to whisper in your ear.

The problem is, as soon as he lifts the covers, you fart. It’s loud. You don’t move an inch, remaining fast asleep and ignorant of what just happened.

Belphegor freezes in his tracks to process it, but is soon doubled over on the futon laughing. The vibrations wake you. You sleepily open your eyes to see who is in hysterics and ask the obvious: “what?”

Belphegor is laughing too hard to tell you. He doesn’t want to tell you. It’s too priceless. You groggily smack him with a spare pillow and it makes him laugh harder. While he loves to look at you, that week it becomes difficult for him to meet your eyes without erupting into a fit of giggles.

[erinwantstowrite]

how many times do i have to tell people that if you're a batcest shipper, you aren't welcome on my page?? it sucks that i have to keep making posts. it sucks that i keep getting asks about it. it sucks that i have to spend my time blocking people. i am so sick and tired of this same crap over and over. this is the third post i've had to make about it

[yeet-me-out-tonight]

im not okay

[gingermintpepper]

Obsessed with the way Evadne's relationship with Apollo is described. Obsessed with the way Apollo was especially gentle with her because she was sheltered, hidden away and hadn't had any sort of experience with love prior to Apollo (and due to it being described as her 'first learning Aphrodite's joy' through Apollo', it was probably her first time even being attracted to someone). Obsessed with the way when she runs away, she stops in a violet patch to give birth. Y'know, violets, very famously the flower so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used in love potions? Those violets. Obsessed with the way that when Apollo realised his lover was going to have to deliver their child alone, he sent BOTH the goddess of childbirth and ALL THREE OF THE FATES to help and support her. Obsessed with the way that Apollo sends snakes to feed his baby honey straight from their fangs because Evadne abandons their son out of straight primal fear when her stepfather finds her and how the description of that honey is 'sweet venom' [ἰός] of the bees and is DEFINITELY a poetic pair/pun with [ἴον] aka violets and that every single thing about this relationship, conception and birth is a complete and utter fairytale down to Evadne's insanely overprotective stepfather having an immediate change of heart when he learned Evadne's child was an actual, legitimate Son of Apollo and the babe, after being cared for by his dad's honey-fanged snake buddies, was found perfectly healthy five days later swaddled in a blanket of violets (y'know the flowers so strongly associated with Aphrodite that they were used for lo-) and they called him Iamus aka Boy of the Violets which is AAAAAARRRR I AM GNAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE

Iamus was made of love. Everything about him was surrounded by deep and profound love and like, let's not even talk about his whole Thing of when he came of age and was like "I need to find out what my purpose is" and he literally had a Disney Protagonist moment where he ran out into the wilds and was like "Father!! Grandfather!! Tell me what I'm supposed to doooo!!" and then APOLLO FUCKING ANSWERED AND LED HIM TO ONE HIS TEMPLES ENTIRELY BY TALKING WITH IAMUS AND LETTING HIM FOLLOW HIS VOICE FOR THE WHOLE JOURNEY LIKE -

What do y'all know about the kind of SSS tier romantic escapades Apollo had fr?

[halcyone-of-the-sea]

The way that if I could digitally draw all of you would be getting bombarded with post after post of Gaz/Spitfire and Nikto/Seraph in their universes getting involved in shenanigans is crazy.

[snazzy-suit]

Luigi: Liaison of Ghosts Chapter 9 Snippet(s)

Heyoooo I'm currently sick af and thought I'd share a couple snippets of the next LLoG AU installment. In this chapter, we see how the uneasy truce between Luigi and King Boo began. To no one's surprise, peace-talks following King Boo's release don't exactly go smoothly.

For context, Luigi, Mario, Gooigi, and King Boo are in an underground portion of E. Gadd's lab that's specifically designed to keep ghosts/spirits contained. The professor is watching the following events from the safety of an observation room. He communicates through an intercom system.

Currently, King Boo has snatched up Luigi in a large glove construct (think a smaller version of Master Hand) and is holding the man hostage...

___________________________

“Not another step, plumber! If you so much as twitch I will not hesitate to eat your scrawny brother!”

Mario freezes, aghast, and Luigi supposes he, too, should be alarmed by King Boo’s grisly threat. Instead, a memory drifts to the forefront of his mind, and Luigi feels himself relaxing minutely. He schools his features into some semblance of calm and meets Mario’s panicked gaze.

“He’s bluffing.”

Luigi is grateful his voice comes out level, and his confidence in his statement only rises when King Boo squawks indignantly.

“I most certainly am not!” the monarch snaps, voice shrill. “What could have possibly led you to draw such an idiotic conclusion?!”

“Gee, I don’t know,” Luigi begins flatly, “how about when you wanted to gargle bleach the first time you ever tasted me?” He looks to Mario, and deigns to elaborate. “Back at The Last Resort, King Boo slammed me into a door with his tongue—knocked the wind right out of me. He had the perfect chance to trap me in a portrait while I was catching my breath, but instead he chose to whine about how bad I tasted.”

The reactions to this little revelation are mixed. Mario looks like he isn’t sure whether to be horrified at Luigi’s close call or relieved by King Boo’s pettiness. Gooigi, if his gurgling laughter is any indication, finds it downright hilarious.

“First time?” E. Gadd murmurs through the speakers. “Stars above lad; just how many times were you in King Boo’s mouth that night?”

“…Professor, I am begging you to never repeat that in any capacity ever again.”

Gooigi laughs even harder. King Boo growls lowly, face heating with anger and no small amount of humiliation. He hefts Luigi higher with a snarl.

“How’s this for bluffing?” he hisses.

The construct grasping Luigi moves to hover over King Boo’s head, and the monarch quickly tilts back as they open their mouth. Luigi yelps when the large glove shifts so it is scruffing him by the back of his shirt. He now dangles precariously over tongue and toothy maw. Varying cries of alarm echo throughout the room. King Boo cackles, the metaphorical ball now back in his court.

But not for long.

_________________

(Let's jump ahead a bit in the scene, shall we?) Luigi has broken free from King Boo's grasp and an enraged Mario has powered up with a Super Star to deliver the ultimate beatdown. Luigi is quick to intervene before things go too far...

_________________

“Why are you still defending them?!” Mario demands, growing increasingly more frustrated with each passing second. “They just tried to eat you!”

“But they didn’t,” Luigi stresses.

“Only because you broke free!”

Luigi shakes his head. “No,” he refutes patiently, “they still wouldn’t have gone through with it.”

“How can you know that for sure?!”

“I already told you. Back at The Last Resort—”

“That was then!” Mario interjects. “This is now, Luigi. King Boo is trapped with nowhere to go. He could have just killed you out of spite!”

“I know, but—”

“But nothing!” Mario cries, cutting a hand through the air. “King Boo is dangerous and that’s never going to change! He’s just going to keep coming after us! Aren’t you tired of dealing with them?!”

“Aren’t you tired of dealing with Bowser?!” Luigi snaps.

Mario blinks back at Luigi, startled by his retort. “…what?”

“He’s dangerous, he’s tried to kill us multiple times, and he won’t stop abducting someone we care about,” Luigi says, counting off his fingers as he goes. “Who am I describing: King Boo or Bowser?”

Mario opens his mouth for a retort, but nothing impactful is forthcoming. His jaw works uselessly in the wake of his failed rebuttal. “That’s… that’s not a fair comparison.”

“You’re right,” Luigi agrees, “One of them gets invited to play tennis afterwards.”

“Luigi—”

“Do you not see the double-standard here?” Luigi continues sharply. “Look me in the eye and tell me it’s fair that Bowser—who attacks us and abducts Peach every other Tuesday—gets to walk free while King Boo—who has only targeted us three times—has to be imprisoned forever?”

Mario says nothing. It is silent but for the ambient hum of machinery. Even King Boo, always one to fill the air with his arsenal of targeted barbs and sardonic quips, has been rendered speechless. Luigi can feel the spectral monarch’s gaze boring into his back; it makes the hairs on his neck stand on end. He tries to ignore it. He keeps his focus on Mario, the latter struggling to meet his eyes.

The prismatic light enveloping Mario’s body begins to flicker—slowly, at first, but then in an increasingly rapid pattern until it finally snuffs out. Mario’s shoulders sag, whether it’s in defeat or weariness from the sudden loss of surging power, Luigi can’t say for certain. Luigi finds his own posture slouching, but with relief. He slowly closes the distance between them and places a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“Look,” he begins quietly, lowering his voice to a more private volume, “I’m not exactly thrilled about all this either, but I made a promise to the other ghosts and spirits that I would free everyone. If I go back on my word without giving King Boo a proper chance, how are they supposed to trust me?”

Mario offers no verbal reply, but his grimace and averted gaze convey his discomfort well enough. Luigi sighs.

“Mario, you’re right to be wary of King Boo—I’m not trying to say otherwise. He’s one of the biggest threats we’ve ever faced. One of the few that’s ever…” Luigi trails off, a connection forming in his mind. “…gotten the upper hand on you.”

And as the words leave his mouth, Luigi is struck by a sudden realization. Why Mario’s reluctance to set King Boo free surpassed his own. Why Mario is seemingly content to let Bowser run amuck while simultaneously condemning King Boo for the same actions. Why he is so uncharacteristically angry.

Mario… is afraid.

___________________________

And that's it for now! This is all unedited and susceptible to change, so there's no telling what the final work will look like yet. As cruddy as I feel, it'll be a while before I can seriously focus on this again. Hopefully this little sneak peek will hold y'all over until it's ready!

[hayaku14]

NO FUCKING WAY I DIED AND GOT SICK FOR TWO MONTHS AND I COME BACK TO RUMORS THAT KAISHIN COUSINS IS CANON NAAAH DONT FUCK WITH ME THAT SHIT SAY IT AINT SO GOSHO I SWEAR TO GOD

[shalom-iamcominghome]

My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.

[linkspussy]

Everyone with an excretion kink needs to hold hands I think. "I like XYZ but XYZ is gross." We're all gross, babe. Have your squicks, but don't ever act like you're above the person who jacks it to farts.

[000marie198]

Target audience not realizing they're target audience

Buddy, use some reading comprehension and understand exactly why that post was written. The reason is you guys, not the show. That post was specifically aimed towards you

You hate TMNT 2012? You wanna portray it according to the negativity of those who've never even watched and analysed it and didn't even bother to check the genre? Fine. Idgaf. But know that it's peeps like you who spread the negativity in fandom spaces, who spread hatred for things many people love. It's plain rude and annoying

As for your rhetoric, I actually did watch the show, countless times, and I still love it. Wanna know why? Because I actually did watch it and didn't get most of my info from haters who've only seen clips and edits of a random few moments

[justalilguyoops]

You're so EMBARRASSING lol

OH MY GOD.

THE FACT YOU'RE COMMENTING YOUR ANON HATE.....TO ME.....NOT ON ANON.....

you're so EMBARRASSING lol

[bunnihearted]

im the one society marked as avoidant yet im always the only one who wanna fucking talk things thru. y'all are a fkn joke!!! im sry but u rlly are 💀 im the avoidant one. the one scared of conflict nd afraid of talking.... yet im always the one staying and begging to talk while the other one just leaves or is a wall nd refuses to talk abt it 😹😹😹😹😹

[wayfinderships]

Good evening gamers! I think I'm getting sick :( Snow should give me forehead kisses methinks-

[sarah-yyy]

at that time of the year where i have No Motivation to work

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

sorry for being weird but i confess to putting my snot on a bitchy customers food once

Oh God. The reason I made that poll was because a man told me a story about how he threw a customer's food on the ground, spit in it, and then gave it to her. I've worked in food service and I've had rude customers but I never messed with their food 😭