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ardent-musings · 3 years

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“Strike Three?” A Neville Longbottom Smut

EVERYONE IN THIS STORY IS OF LEGAL AGE AND CONSENTING

Warnings: NSFW 18+, sub!nev, dom!femreader, swearing, slapping (one hit), oral (f and m receiving), vaginal sex, teasing, slight degradation, unprotected sex. (WRAP IT UP YALL)

He wasn't happy anymore.

No matter how hard he tried to convince you he was happy being an Auror, his growing exhaustion and increased amount of nightmare alerted you to his unease. Your once happy and relaxed Neville would come home, only to be reminded of his time in the war. When he was recruited by the Ministry to work for them, he felt honored; for the first time he was really being recognized for his strength and bravery.

But that wasn't who he was. Neville wasn't made to hunt down dark wizards his whole life. He was made for something kinder. Something that wouldn't make him come home looking half alive.

Just like he did today.

"Hi, bubs," you sighed as you caught notice of his dark sullen under eyes.

"Hi, petal," he responded while dropping onto the couch with a huff. He started rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

He was hunched over and tense, the veins in his neck were popped from the strain his job put him under. Unable to see him suffer, you went behind him to rub and massage the sore spot near the base of his neck.

"Love," Neville groans at your skilled fingers working at the knots in his muscle. His deep throaty whine made your stomach twist.

"Does that help any, my love?" You hummed near his ear, massaging behind it to release the ache in his neck.

"It feels perfect," he replied quietly, mewling at the soft digs against his skin.

His head dipped back, exposing the expanse of his skin to your greedy eyes. Neville was always a cutie pie; however, the boy really grew up. Ever since he ran DA during his seventh year, Neville was a combination of gentle power and taunt muscle. He grew out of his baby fat, and sprung up into the attractive man you knew and fell in love with. You loved him however he looked; but his tight shoulder muscles looked beautiful under your fingertips.

Neville's eyes were closed, his mouth dropped open at the feel of your hands against his skin. But before he could enjoy it too much, you stopped massaging is neck and rounded the couch to face him.

He was tired and sore, but his eyes burned into yours with lust, but there was no signs of fire or fight in his olive brown irises.

You knelt down, sitting on your heels as you rubbed up and down the expanse of his work pants.

"I wanna play with you, love," you whispered to your tired boy.

He whined lowly, a sound that lit up the fire in your stomach and sent a chill down your spine. Neville was always so beautiful when he gave up all premonitions and embraced your control.

"I wanna play with you," you repeated while unbuckling the silver hardware of his belt. His eyes closed, brows furrowing, and chest heaving as you toyed with the waistband of his jeans.

"Love," he groaned, although, the words barely escaping his pouty pink lips, "God, please do whatever you want to me."

"Is that an order?" You cautioned. Neville was not going to be in control tonight; both of you knew it. But you needed him to be aware of the power dynamic this given night.

"No!" he cried. "No, no, that wasn't an order."

"Then what was it?"

He shifted in his seat, wiggling as you dragged the belt out of the looped holes and began making quick work of his zipper.

"What was it?" You asked with a bit more grit.

"A plead? Fuck!"

Neville's explanation was cut short, the feeling of your hand wrapped around his cock was already an overwhelming feeling and the most release he had gotten all day. You gripped onto his thigh with a firm grasp, nails digging lightly into the soft skin, making your boy groan at the light scratch marks that littered his leg.

"Wanna feel good, baby boy?" You teased. "Want me to play with your pretty cock until I get you off?"

"God, fuck yes," he whined, the words coming out in pieces as you flicked your wrist, pumping only the tip of his dick. You knew just how sensitive he was there.

Neville cried out at the slap you administered to her thigh, making him jump and groan in pleasure at the tingly sting. The pale skin already started turning red: a sign of your time together.

"Yes, what?" You teased as you kitten licked him all while you massaged his heavy balls in a single hand, the other one teased the inside of his thigh.

"Yes, ma'am," his brows furrowed in the middle, a mixture of both pain and pleasure etched across every inch of his cute face.

Having literally the situation in the palm of your hand, you wanted to fully take advantage of the strong man in front of you. Your speed increased, making Neville whine and moan out quiet whimpers at the feelings you were imposing on him.

His neck covered in a thin layer of sweat and goosebumps, every nerve and neuron was fired up at the feeling of your lips wrapped around him. You giggled and slapped him against your tongue, treating him like your little toy to play with.

"God fucking damnit," Neville pouted, threading his fingers into the hair at the base of your neck, bucking up into your warm mouth for even more friction. He just needed a few more pumps to get off.

But you wouldn't let him.

Strike one.

With a pop, you rose from your kneeled position, just to straddle his lap and grab him by his throat, pinning him to the back of the couch. Neville's eyes were blown wide from his delayed high, his mouth dropping in pleasure at the squeeze around his neck.

"Did I say you could touch me, sweet slut?"

"No," he groaned, his dick leaking desperately against his work shirt, "I'm sorry. Please, god, I'm sorry. Love, please make me cum."

"You wanna cum?" You mocked back to him in a sickeningly sweet voice, your grip tightening slightly around his neck. "Does my big boy wanna cum for me?"

Your boyfriend mumbled his wishes and desires, his thumb grazing the exposed skin at the hem of your shirt, just yearning for a touch of your skin.

Strike two.

"I said no touching, Nev," you chastised as you grabbed both of his wrists and pinning them to the couch cushions, leaving him laying down beneath you. "Shirt off. Now."

The sweet, sensitive boy responded immediately, his work shirt was gone in a second. He was now fully naked beneath you, his skin was littered with scars and healing bruises, and yet he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen. And he was yours.

"Get to work, pretty baby," you instructed as you shuffled up his chest, hovering your clothed pussy over his chest. "Think you're up for the challenge?"

"Yes, yes, please, love. Sit on my face, petal. I'll make you feel so good."

Neville had totally disregarded his own release, the idea of getting you off gave him something to focus on. And you weren't going to ask a second time. So within seconds, you sat with knees around his shoulders, waiting for Nev's next move considering his wrists were still pinned above his head.

"Want me to sit down, honey? Think you can eat my pussy as good as you can fuck it?"

His head craned higher, trying to get a taste of you before he was even given permission. Your teasing was growing to be too much, his cock rested on his lower belly, dreadfully sensitive from being left on the edge.

Graciously, you lowered yourself to his face, grinding lightly against his crooked nose for the meantime. Neville groaned at your taste, his tongue dipping to trace along your panties and to suck against your clit. The one thing Neville was always fantastic at, was eating your out. But seeing his arms pinned above him, made you even wetter; it was always a sight to see when Neville grew so desperate to get you off.

"Keep your hands up," you ordered as you then brought your hands the his hair, tugging and dragging his face against your cunt, doing your best to get off before he ever could.

Reluctant moans left your lips, Neville was just too good with his mouth.

"Wanna get me off, toy?" You taunted, finding it filthy how all your boyfriend could do was moan in response against your panties. "Think you can even get me off like that? Only using your mouth to get me off, yeah?"

Once again, all your boy could do was groan against you, taking in every grind and hair pull with a smile and a twitch to his cock.

"Fuck, Neville, you're gonna make me cum. Get me there, honey. Get your girl to feel good."

And he did. It only took a few more swivels of your pussy against his hungry lips to make your back arch. You dug his hands into the couch beneath him, fully grinding his face as if it were a pillow. He made you cum incredibly hard, your legs shook around his head as you filled with the feeling of your high.

You released his hands and resituated your legs to cradle his hips, now straddling him. Neville's chin was glistening in your cum, making him lick his lips as if he had just eaten some delicious candy or butterbeer.

"Now's your time baby," You promised as you grabbed his cock and lined it up with you. "But you gotta work for it."

Neville's confused look amused you, you could see the gears turning in his head.

"I'm not gonna sink down onto your cock, pretty boy."

It took Neville a second to understand, but he got the memo. Without touching you, he began snapping his hips up into your soaked and sensitive cunt. His deepness was surprising, given the fact that you refused to put in the extra bit of work. But Neville was desperate beyond relief, his hips jutted off the couch to fuck you deep and fast even if you weren't meeting him halfway. You rubbed at your clit as Neville threw his head back at the squeeze of you against him.

"Gonna cum, pretty boy?" You asked while gripping onto his hair.

"Yes, yes, yes, fuck.." Neville groaned out loudly, his hips stuttering as he worked himself into a sweat. "Fuck, please let me cum. Let me cum. Love."

"Go on, love," you moaned above him, growing close to your second release. "Cum for me. "

Neville cried out loudly as you began bouncing furiously on top of him, giving him the friction he needed. He fully forgot the "no touching" rule, as he ran his hands up and down your smooth thighs as you both came in unison.

His cries and your demands were like a catalyst to the other, making your orgasms so incredibly intense. You fell on top of his bare chest, placing kisses against his collarbone and Adam's apple. A gentle blow of air against his neck made Neville groan, his body sensitive from all the teasing but so wonderfully taken care of all the same.

He twirled you hair between his fingers, finding comfort in your softest features.

"Thank you, petal. I needed that so much," he admitted with blushing cheeks.

"Of course my love, I just hate seeing you so stressed from work. You deserve to do something you adore, honey."

"I adore you."

#neville longbottom #neville longbottom smut #carmi writes smut

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harrypotterandthefandomaccount · 4 years

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Deep Pressure

Request: Hi there! Would you write a smut oneshot with Harry x fem!reader? Something where they lose their virginity to each other? Please and thanks in advance!❤️

Warnings: uhhh smut, semi-public sex, a bit of talking during the deed but its harry so what do you expect (hes so flustered), virgin reader and harry, harry is sub at first but then is dom

Note: FINALLY!!!! my first harry fic!!!! this is a milestone yall. also this is my fav gif of him cus hes just so pure

Seeing Harry participate in the TriWizard Tournament was definitely stressful - but it was also very, very attractive.

Maybe that was wrong of you to say - he could die in any one of the challenges, but you couldn’t get it out of your head. He was scared, of course, but he didn’t try to let anyone know that. Especially his friends.

You and Harry were friends, having known each other for a multitude of years before you both got letters to go to Hogwarts. Being separated (or in the same House) from your houses made you closer, in some way. You both needed and relied on one another, so it made perfect sense to stay friends throughout school - one filled with wizards, witches, spells, the whole nine.

So when you saw and heard Harry get picked for the Triwizard tournament, you were shocked, to say the least - but also petrified for your best friend. Finding him in the Gryfindor common room, you gave him a solemn look, “how are you holding up, Harry?”

He sighed, legs spread as he leaned forward on them, hands clutched, “my friends keep asking me how I did it, how I cheated the age line.”

You walked towards him, looking him up and down, “they know you didn’t do anything to put your name in there, Harry. They just. . .don’t know how to react. Nobody does.”

“And I do?” Harry responded back, sitting up in his chair. He glared up at you, “you think I’m handling it pretty well?”

You kneeled in front of him, “Harry, you know that is not what I meant.”

He rubbed his face, sighing, “you’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry, Y/N. I just - how am I supposed to do this?”

“May I recommend something to temporaily get rid of the anxiety?”

Harry made eye contact with you, “is it a prank of yours? Or just a plain, bad idea?”

You rolled your eyes, “not all my plans are bad, you know. But no, I’m being serious.”

Harry chuckled, “go ahead, darling.”

“Deep pressure,” you answered, avoiding eye contact for a split second before returning back to him.

He seemed confused, “pressure? Like, what, blankets?”

You stood up, “I. . .could give you some deep pressure, if you’d like! I don’t want this to be - to be weird or anything, I just read this somewhere and -”

“Go ahead,” he answered, leaning back in his chair.

You gestured to his lap, “can I?” At that, he smiled at your shyness and nodded, his own cheeks going pink. With his response, you climbed on top of his lap, legs on either side of his thighs and you leaned forward, catching him in a hug.

While leaning on him, you felt Harry slowly relax under you, his arms wrapping lazily around your waist as he sighed. You ran one of your hands through his hair, “it’ll be alright, Harry; we’re all here for you.”

The both of you sat there for quite a while, listening to nothing but the crackling of the fire and the sounds of your own breathing.

Harry leaned back, “Y/N?”

Your head was resting on his shoulder until you leaned back only a bit to look at him in the eyes, “yeah Harry?”

He brought a hand up to your cheek, softly rubbing his thumb over your plush skin, “by Merlin, you are too good for me.”

Eyebrows furrowed, you held Harry’s hand, “Harry James Potter, what is going on in that mind of yours?”

He chuckled, “just how much I want to kiss you right now, is all.”

You lightly bit your lip, “what are you waiting for?” That was all Harry needed for him to catch your lips in a kiss, pulling you into him even more than you thought possible.

He shifted his legs beneath you, making you squirm until you felt something prod against your inner thigh. You giggled, pulling away from the kiss, “Harry, is your wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

His face grew red, “shit - I’m sorry sweetheart, I promise it’ll go away, I-”

You caught Harry in another kiss, “my love, it’s quite alright. I’m flattered, really. . .I just, have never done this before, you know?”

Harry rubbed your cheeks with his thumbs, “do you - do you want to?”

“There’s nobody else I’d trust more,” you whispered, nodding your head as Harry smiled, kissing you again, his hands leaving your cheeks to feel down your neck, your shoulders, to the buttons on your blouse.

He stopped, pulling away, “may I?”

You nodded, smiling shyly, “you may.” With that, Harry began unbuttoning your blouse, shaky hands pulling buttons out of the small holes. As he began to see the swell of your breasts, he held his breath, hands growing more bold.

You got rid of your blouse, throwing it behind you as Harry gripped your waist, keeping you in place. He smirked, admiring your breasts tucked neatly inside your bra, “maroon and gold looks good on you, Y/N.”

Harry reached behind you, looking for the clasps for rid you of your bra until you leant in, whispering in his ear, “it’s a front clasp, Harry.”

He went rigid, hands stilling as he leaned back into the chair you both were sitting on. Looking at your breasts, he nodded as he saw the clasp tucked in the front, “love this on you.”

Biting your lip, you watched as Harry immediately unclasped your bra, watching you slide it off your shoulders. Once it hit the ground, he leaned forward once again, his mouth surrounding one of your nipples, one hand on your waist while the other was grasping onto your other breast. You sighed, arching your back into Harry, feeling his tongue swirl around your nipple.

Harry lightly nibbled on your breast, seeing your reaction and testing what you liked or didn’t like. Holding back a moan, you looked at him with lidded eyes as he continued his minstrations. Pinching your other nipple with his fingers, Harry’s mouth left your one breast.

He moved his other hand downwards, watching as his fingers sent goosebumps in their wake, arching your back towards him. Harry grasped your behind, pulling you closer towards him, a squeak leaving your mouth.

“Don’t be shy, sweetheart,” he said, grinning up at you as you curled your index finger, biting it between your teeth, “nobody’s here.”

You let go of your finger, “but what if someone walks in?”

Harry let both of his hands grab at your breasts once more before letting go, traveling down to your behind, squeezing both cheeks, “then they’ll get a show.”

You crossed your arms, “Harry, I’m serious!”

“Me too.”

With that, Harry lifted up the front of your skirt that was nestled atop of his clothed cock. He looked at your panties, “look at that - you soaked through your panties. Wet for me, darling?”

You bit your lip at his words, “I guess I just discovered another talent if yours, then.”

“Luckily, only you get to experience this so-called talent, darling.”

Harry moved your panties to the side, exposing your pussy to his uniform pants, the rough material rubbing against you. You sighed happily as Harry swiped his thumb through your folds, gathering wetness on his fingers. You watched with red cheeks and half-open eyes as he raised his thumb to his lips, sucking it clean of your wetness.

By Merlin, this man is going to be the death of me, you thought to yourself.

You got a grasp on reality once more as Harry began unbuttoning his pants, making you start to get up. He grabbed your waist, “are you okay? What do you need?”

You played with your skirt as you sat atop of Harry once more, “I - I was going to take off my skirt and panties, ‘cus you’re taking off your pants. . .so. . “

Harry’s face flushed, “actually - would you mind keeping them on? I can. . .move your panties to the side, I think it’s pretty hot - but it’s up to you!”

Your pussy clenched around nothing, “oh gods, yes, that’s - yeah, that’s great, that’s fine.”

Harry chuckled, going back to unbuttoning his pants as you reached down, moving your panties to the side like he said. His cock sprung out of his boxers, smacking against his shirt as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.

You glanced at Harry, “have you got any condoms?”

“Blimey, yeah, hold on,” he mumbled, pulling you closer to his chest as he leaned over the side of the chair into his bag, pulling out a condom. He ripped open the package, ready to put it on until you took it from his hands, “I got it, darling.”

Harry gripped onto your thighs as you shakily took the condom and dragged it over his cock, veins looking red as the tip was already leaking pre-cum. You smoothed it out, feeling Harry pull your panties to the side once more, “brilliant. . .”

You blushed, feeling his eyes on you, “I got you, Y/N, it’ll be okay.”

With a nod, you lifted your hips, gently pulling his cock towards your pussy, coating it with your slick. Harry groaned beneath you, one of his hands gripping onto your thigh as the other held your panties. Once he was covered, you slowly sunk yourself onto his cock, your mouth forming into an ‘o’ as your forehead creased.

Your breathing quickened, feeling your pussy accomodate to Harry as he held himself back, feeling how tight you were. Once you felt comfortable, you lifted your hips once more, giving experimental bounces as both of Harry’s hands gripped your waist, keeping his cock inside you.

Moans and grunts left both your mouths, sweat quickly forming on your foreheads as the pace began to quicken. Leaning forward, you laid your front against his own, lifting your ass and dropping it onto his cock. Harry groaned, gripping your hips tighter as he held you in place, shifting his own hips and began pounding into you.

You yelped at the sudden pressure and intensity of this thrusts, moaning nonsense into his neck as Harry held you close to him, leaving no space for you to wiggle.

Harry grinned, happy with the response he was getting from you as he continued to slam into your pussy with swift, powerful thrusts. Slowly, Harry reached down between your bodies, finding your clit as he moved your panties aside once more. His index finger twirled around your clit, flicking and teasing you as you moaned, nothing making sense from the delicious pleasure.

As Harry continued to pound into you and play with your clit, you felt your pussy clench around him. His other hand gripped onto the back of your thigh, groaning at the feeling of you clenching around him. Harry’s fingers moved faster against your clit, “you gonna cum, sweetheart?”

You nodded, whimpers leaving your mouth as your hands grabbed at his shirt, listening to the sounds of his balls hitting your skin. Harry gave a few more powerful thrusts, pinching your clit between his fingers, “cum for me, darling.”

You let out a silent scream, no sound leaving your mouth as your body tensed, then began shaking, your orgasm hitting you hard - hard enough you couldn’t even moan. You felt Harry tense underneath you, his own orgasm finding a release inside the condom.

The two of you laid there for a couple seconds - or was it a few minutes? - before Harry helped you stand, gathering your clothes and getting redressed. As you were fixing your blouse, Harry had already tucked himself back into his pants, holding your waist so you kept steady. Once you could stand on your own, Harry knelt down in front of you, lifting your skirt to inhale the scent of your pussy, laying a soft kiss atop your panties.

He stood once more as your face grew red, “thank you, darling, for that little remedy of yours. It truly helped me out.”

“So I can see,” you said, already noticing how less stressed Harry looked.

He smiled at you, pulling you close before kissing your nose, “want to take a trip to Hogsmeade? I can buy you some more matching undergarments.”

You laughed, “sounds like a date.”

“By the way,” Harry started, “you were brilliant.”

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slytherinbarnes · 4 years

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Sub Rosa [62]

iv. pandora’s box

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: mentions of injuries, torture, violence and explosions, anxiety.

Summary: Diyoza and the Eligius prisoners agree to help you open the bunker, but none of you are prepared for the danger you let out.

a/n: who needs a distraction? mayhaps you’d like to read one of the most highly anticipated chapters of sub rosa??? i feel like yall have been waiting on this for ages! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

You pull your eyes open with a groan, staring at a gray wall in front of you.

Your brows pull together in confusion, trying to remember where you are. Your jacket is off and tucked beneath your head, a cool breeze floating over your skin. You feel a throbbing pain in your left shoulder, and you reach up to touch it, fingers brushing over a bandage. You remember the bullet, and someone, a guy, stitching you up. You close your eyes tight and try to remember, forcing your brain to push through the cotton packed inside of your head, making everything feel fuzzy.

Handsome guy, young, all black outfit...Shaw. Shaw took your bullet out and patched you up. After Clarke showed up. You sit up abruptly, remembering that your twin was with you, and look around, searching for her. But whatever room you’re in, she’s not in there with you, and you lower yourself back down, too drained of energy to continue sitting up. Okay, Clarke showed up, and then the prisoners thought you were lying and then...the collar. Your fingers reach up and brush over your neck, relieved to find that the shock collar is gone, no longer locked around your neck.

Your neck, however, still feels tender, the memory of the collar bruised into your skin. You start to think again, things becoming clearer, falling into place. You were being tortured outside but that all stopped when something happened. Bright lights, Clarke sitting up nervously. The rover. Madi showed up with the rover. You feel a rush of shock at the memory, and you know you’re missing something. A big piece of the puzzle, just out of reach. Taller, older, a man. Rush of affection, Bellamy?

You shake your head, knowing that can't be right. Bellamy is stuck in space, away from you, and you’re stuck on the ground, away from him. Still, you start to swear you see him in the flashes of your memory, and you can't shake the feeling that he was there. Your thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the beep of the door behind you, and you freeze in place, terrified of who is going to walk inside your room. You hear a pair of feet shuffle away, and you turn, hesitant, shocked to see Bellamy standing in the doorway of the room you’re in. You stare at him in surprise, watching as he runs over to you and sits down beside you, helping you to pull your body upright into a sitting position.

Your eyes rake over him in shock, taking him in, and his familiar scent floats towards you, flipping a switch in your brain. Tears instantly rise to your eyes, and you jump towards him, pulling him into a hug. The two of you cling to each other desperately, holding tight, afraid to let go, and you finally let yourself believe that he’s actually here with you. You whisper, “You’re really here.”

He pulls away to look at you, expression heartbroken, tears also in his eyes. The two of you stare at each other, crying, the emotion of the moment almost too much to handle. His eyes land on the bruise on your cheek, and then to the bruise on your neck, before landing to the corner of the bandage that covers your shoulder. His expression drops and he tugs you forward, pressing your foreheads together, his hand resting on the back of your neck lightly. You revel in his presence as you cry, too overwhelmed to say or do anything else. The moment ends when you hear the shuffling of feet by the door, and when you look up you see Clarke standing there, relief all over her face.

She walks over to you and pulls you into a hug, both of you thankful to still be alive, before she releases you and hugs Bellamy, just as shocked to see him as you are. As soon as she pulls away, she whispers, “Madi?”

“She's safe. She's in the woods with the others. Diyoza won't look for them as long as we're in control.”

You look at him, your heart bursting with joy. “You're all still alive? Murphy, Monty, Raven?”

“Echo and Emori.” He nods, looking between you both, trying to convey his appreciation. “The two of you saved us all.”

“And now you're home.” You smile at him, still in shock, and he smiles back. Clarke looks back towards the open door, and looks at him in confusion. “Wait, why'd she release us?”

“We made a deal. She agreed to open the bunker.” You and Clarke look at him in happy surprise, shocked to hear the words you never thought you’d get to hear. Bellamy looks between the two of you as he grabs his radio. “Raven and Murphy are up on their main ship, waiting to hear from us. We used their fuel to get down, but as we were loading it up, we stumbled upon the rest of their prisoners, sealed up in cryo chambers.”

“So the sleeping prisoners are our leverage?”

“Yes. If Diyoza backs out on her word, we call Raven and they pull the plug, killing them all.” He holds the radio up, showing it to you both. “It’s time to check in, if you guys want to join in?”

“Yes!”

“Of course!”

“Raven, can you hear me? Come in.”

“Tell me everyone's okay.” You and Clarke share a smile at the sound of her voice, her words reminding you of the radio call you all shared after Clarke destroyed the City of Light.

“Everyone's okay. We reached a deal with the people from that ship, and, by the way, the Laser-comm's an open line, so they can hear every word we say.”

Your grin widens at the sound of the next voice, comforted by the jokes of the cockroach. “Nice to meet you. We're not bad people, we-”

Bellamy cuts Murphy off, practically rolling his eyes. “Raven, keep him away from the radio.”

“Copy that.”

“Anyway, they know the rules, but just to be safe, Colonel Diyoza, here they are again. If anyone tries to get around your security, you pull the plug. If anyone does anything that wasn't agreed upon, you pull the plug, and if you don't hear from me every hour on the hour, you pull the plug.”

“Is that all?”

Bellamy looks over at the two of you, smiling. “No, that's not all. Some people here want to say hello.”

He hands the radio to you, and you press the button with a smile. “Raven, Murphy, it's really good to hear your voices.”

Clarke adds, “We weren't sure we’d ever get to hear them again.”

Raven’s voice sounds shocked when she answers, and you can only imagine the expression on her face. “The twins? I don't believe it.”

“Jeez, and they call me the cockroach.”

You, Bellamy, and Clarke all laugh at Murphy’s quip, and you feel a pang in your chest, finally getting some semblance of normalcy that you’ve longed for in the last 6 years. Clarke answers, “You guys just be careful up there, okay? We'll talk more once this is all over.”

You add, “We want to hear everything!”

“Okay, but first,” Raven’s voice is shaky, and you can tell she’s crying. “Thank you for saving our lives.”

“We miss you both.”

Bellamy puts a hand on your shoulder and whispers, “We’ve got to go.”

You and Clarke nod, and you pass the radio back to him. “Raven, stay safe. We'll talk soon.”

“Yeah, every hour on the hour.”

As soon as they sign off, Bellamy reaches out for you and Clarke both, taking your hands and leading you out into the hall, towards a row of seats situated along the wall. “We’re scheduled to take off as soon as the check in is complete. They’re going to use the transport to remove the rubble, and they’ll use their mining equipment to blast a hole into the ceiling.”

You and Clarke nod, allowing him to lead you both to the seats, all three of you strapping in. Almost as soon as you're secure, the transport takes off, lifting into the sky and flying towards Polis. You, Clarke, and Bellamy sit in silence for most of the trip, too much to say with not enough time, but eventually he asks about the time you spent trying to dig the bunker out, and you and Clarke pass along the story. As you tell the story, the prisoners use the weapons and the transport to clear the way to the door, before landing the ship and coming to get you. Diyoza, along with McCreary, leads you out and to the door, setting up a rig to lower all of you down into the bunker through the hole they have now blasted into the ceiling over the atrium of the bunker. Bellamy volunteers to go first, eager to see Octavia, and he stands patiently as they harness him up.

He turns to look at you as they prepare to lower him down, and you see a look of fear pass over his face. You smile, reach out, and grab his hand. “I’ll be right behind you.”

He nods, and they lower him down, already hooking you up to the second harness, making sure Bellamy is out of the way as they start to lower you. As you descend from the bright sky above into the bunker below, you’re shocked at how different the bunker looks from the last time you were in it over 6 years ago. The atrium is dark, lit mostly by torches, and a fence now surrounds the walkway. You see a chair as you’re lowered inside, and it reminds you of a throne, solitary and commanding. As you near the last few feet to the ground, you see weapons attached to the fence around the atrium, and you swear you see blood staining the floor around you. When your feet finally touch the ground, you see Bellamy nearby, held tight in an embrace with Octavia, who also looks entirely different from the girl you left behind.

Her hair is shorter, her clothes a lot more reminiscent of those worn by Grounder royalty and Commanders. She has red war paint stretching from her eyes to her hairline, making her whole forehead a blood red color. As soon as she sees you touch down beside Bellamy, she pulls away and steps over to you, pulling you into a hug. You smile despite your shock at the changes, genuinely happy to see her. When she pulls away, you can see that she’s smiling too. “I’ve missed you, sister.”

Her smile widens, “And I’ve missed you.”

She looks away as someone else is lowered behind you, and you look up to see Clarke on her way down. Bellamy walks over and helps you out of the harness, tugging on it to let them know they can pull it back up again. It retreats and Clarke finally makes it to the ground, disconnecting from the lead and tugging on it before walking over to greet Octavia. They don’t hug, they just grip each other’s arms in the way of the warriors, before you all look up at the current descending figures. Diyoza and McCreary are lowered into the space, looking around at everything in shock, and Octavia looks at them with a glare. “Who are they?”

Diyoza turns to her with a serious look. “We're here to rescue you.”

“Why are you armed?”

Octavia walks towards the woman, and Bellamy reaches out for her, holding her back. “O, it's okay. We have an understanding.”

Clarke steps forward, looking between Octavia and Indra, who has now joined your small group. “Before we get to that, where's our mom?”

“I'll take them to their mother.”

Clarke nods at Indra in thanks, both of them already walking away, and you turn to look at Bellamy, not wanting to leave him behind. But he gives you the same reassuring smile that you gave him a few minutes ago, and he whispers, “Go, I’ll come find you.”

You nod and turn and jog off after Indra and Clarke, catching up with them quickly as they lead you through the bunker and to a door down an abandoned hallway. Indra unlocks it before stepping inside, motioning for you and Clarke to wait. You stand at the open door with Clarke, both of you hearing your mom’s voice from inside. “Is it over?”

“He's alive...for now.”

You and Clarke exchange a look, unsure who she’s talking about, but you don't get time to ask, because Indra motions for you to come in. You and Clarke walk inside together, greeting your mother at the same time. “Hi, Mom.”

She turns towards you both, her jaw dropped in shock, not sure she’s actually seeing you. You and Clarke kneel in front of her, and she lifts a hand to each of your faces, confirming that you’re real, before she pulls you both in for a hug. “My girls. How? When did you-”

Indra cuts her off, “We should move, now.”

You and Clarke pull away, and Clarke smiles at your mother, tears in her eyes. For the first time, you get a good look at her, and worry crosses your features instantly. Your mom looks exhausted, dark bags hanging low from her eyes, and her skin is pale and clammy. You glance at Clarke, and you can see the same worry on her face, but she ignores it and whispers, “Everything's gonna be okay, but first, we have to get you out of here.”

All three of you stand, and your mom turns to Indra. “What happens to Marcus?”

You look at her, brows pulling together in confusion as you remember the “he” she was asking about moments ago. “Kane? What’s wrong? What happened?”

“He was arrested for something he didn’t do, and sent into the fighting pits.”

You and Clarke exchange a confused expression, before you turn to look between your mom and Indra. “Fighting pits? What the hell are you-”

“There’s no time to explain now.” Indra’s words cut you off, before she turns to your mom. “I'll get him to the ground. After that, it's up to you.”

Indra turns and walks from the room, leading the three of you back towards the atrium. Your mom stops her so she can grab her medical bag, and you turn and look back towards the exit, eager to reunite with Bellamy. Clarke squeezes your hand and smiles at you. “Go be with him. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You squeeze her hand and smile back at her. “Thank you.”

You jog back to the atrium, the sound of chanting growing louder as you get closer. You’re just outside the doors when you make out the words, “Kom folau, oso na gyon op.”

From the ashes, we will rise. You smile at the words as you step into the room, eyes lifting to see Octavia rising through the air, up towards the ground. You make your way over to Bellamy, noting the worry on his face, but it fades as soon as he sees you moving closer. He smiles at you, motioning for you to step up and be the next one to the surface. You stand there as he hooks you up in the harness, in disbelief that the two of you are standing this close, breathing the same air, smiling at each other. As soon as he has you hooked up, McCreary hooks Bellamy up, and both of you are lifted from the bunker, followed by the same chant as before.

You, Bellamy, and Octavia spend the next few minutes greeting everyone that is brought to the surface, including Clarke and Indra, your mother staying behind to wait with Kane. After a while, Miller is brought up, and he grins at you and Bellamy, both of you grinning back at him. “Thank you.”

Bellamy pulls him onto a hug, “It's good to see you.”

When Bellamy pulls away, he sees a gun at Nate’s side and his face falls into one of disappointment. Nate’s expression falls a little, clearly not eager to disappoint Bellamy, and Bellamy turns and walks over to Octavia, his voice lecturing. “The deal was no weapons.”

You hug Miller before helping him out of the harness, swinging it to the nearby prisoner to get it ready for the next person. You hear Octavia retort, “Not my deal.”

“I need to talk to you in private. Give me a second, then follow me.”

Bellamy turns and glances at you before he walks away, climbing down the rubble and heading into one of the nearby abandoned buildings. Octavia waits before following, and as soon as she climbs down, out of earshot, Indra radioes your mother. “Okay, bring him up.”

As soon as she gets confirmation that they’re on their way, Indra motions for you and Clarke to follow her down the rubble and onto the ground below. She steps slightly out of view just in case Octavia returns, and you all wait in silence for Kane’s arrival. It takes a few minutes, but you finally see him on the surface, shielding his eyes from the bright sun with his cuffed hands. The prisoners unhook him and then Kane climbs down the rubble, looking for the three of you. As soon as his eyes land on you and Clarke, his whole face lights up, splitting into a grin. You smile back at him, happy to see the father figure, and he reaches Clarke first. She hugs him tight, smiling, before stepping back and allowing you to hug him. You give him a squeeze, letting your hug say all the things you don't have time to say, before you pull away and look at him. He looks good, better than a lot of the people you’ve seen in the bunker. He does looks tired and there’s a small cut on his head, but his hair is longer and he otherwise looks healthy.

Indra presses something into his hands, muttering, “Wait for night. If you get caught, I won't be able to help you.”

She turns and immediately walks away, and as soon as she does, Kane opens his hand, revealing the keys to his handcuffs. He tucks them into his pocket as your mom walks over, now free from the bunker, and she hugs you and Clarke again as soon as she sees you. You look towards the building that Octavia and Bellamy walked into, watching as Bellamy comes out, and you pull away from your mom quickly, “Octavia’s coming, you two need to hide.”

Clarke grabs your mom’s hand and looks towards you, “I know where to take them. Keep an eye on Octavia.”

“Will do.”

The three of them run off, and Octavia and Bellamy join you a minute later, and the three of you resume your assistance in the bunker exodus. You do this for a few hours, until the sun sets and darkness blankets the destroyed city, the flame from torches the only thing lighting up the streets. As you’re helping a couple out of the bunker, you hear a blast come from nearby, and Bellamy turns to look at you in shock. “What the hell was that?”

You think of the explosion on the ridgeline, the sound you heard then the exact same as the one you heard just now. You give him a worried look as you turn and move towards the source, “I know what that was, and it’s not good.”

Bellamy and Octavia follow you as you run through the streets towards an old fountain, Diyoza’s voice growing louder as you get closer. “Sorry about your pretty fountain, but that was only half power. I know most of you are armed. If anyone moves for a weapon, you'll see what full power does to human flesh. It's not pretty.”

As soon as you and Bellamy get eyes on her, he starts to yell, “Hey! Hey, what the hell are you doing? One call from me-”

“Make your call.”

You all come to a stop across from Diyoza, you in the middle, Bellamy to your left, Octavia to your right. Bellamy looks worried as he pulls his radio from his pocket. “Raven, come in. You read me?”

Your stomach drops in fear as Raven’s voice never comes through, and Diyoza smirks at you. “The deal's off, but nobody has to get hurt.”

Clarke comes running up just then, and Diyoza turns to look at her. “Where's your mother?”

Octavia steps closer to Diyoza, face set into a glare. “She's our doctor, you can't have her.”

McCreary turns his weapon on Clarke, and you feel fear grip you tight at the thought of what that gun can do, especially since you’re all standing so close. “She asked you a question, where is the doctor?”

A different prisoner turns his weapon on Octavia, and her people start to move closer, hands moving towards their weapons at the sight of the threat to their leader. Diyoza yells at her prisoners to stop, and Octavia yells to her people, “No! Hold.”

Everyone stands staring at each other in a tense showdown, just as a voice yells out from around the corner, “I'm right here! Don't shoot, we'll come without a fight.”

Your mom and Kane walk into view, hands lifted in surrender, coming to a stop near Clarke. As soon as Octavia sees Kane, she spits out, “I bet you will, traitor.”

Diyoza looks at your mother in surprise. “We?”

“The two of us. Those are my terms.”

Diyoza smirks, looking between you and Clarke. “I see where your daughters get it from. Take them both.”

You and Clarke turn to your mom in shock, just as two prisoners step forward to grab her and Kane. “Mom, what are you doing?”

“I love you both.”

“Wait, mom-”

They are led away before either of you can finish another word, and Diyoza looks over your group, voice rising to be heard. “Okay then, here are my terms. The valley is ours. Any attempt to get there will be met by overwhelming force. As long as you stay here, we won't have a problem. Is that a problem?”

“What about Raven and Murphy?”

She looks at your boyfriend, nodding once. “For now, insurance.” She starts to back away, yelling to the prisoners nearby. “Let's go, on me.”

Everyone moves except for one man, the prisoner whose weapon is trained on Octavia. Diyoza yells, “Szybunka, that's an order!”

The man stays frozen for a moment before he finally starts to back away, and you glance at Octavia, watching a smirk pass over her face. Szybunka must see it too, because he lets out a frustrated yell and turns the weapon towards her, firing. You barely have enough time to process what’s happening, but you see someone from the bunker dive towards Octavia just as Bellamy tugs on your hand, trying to pull you away from the blast. Unfortunately the blast hits someone, blowing them to pieces, and the rest of you are sent flying by the force of the explosion.

You and Bellamy are sent to the side, catching the outskirts of the blast, and Octavia goes flying backwards, shielded from the brunt of the damage, but taking most of the blast. You can hear the sound of Diyoza yelling to the prisoners, but you can't make out the words over the ringing in your ears. Everything feels muffled and wrong, and it takes a few seconds for your senses to return, and when they do, you almost wish they hadn’t. Your shoulder is on fire, smashed from the way you landed, and you’re sure you ripped open a few stitches. Your head is throbbing, and you start to worry that you cracked it on the concrete when you feel a warm hand slide beneath your neck and another wrap around your body, pulling you closer.

You pull open your eyes, Bellamy’s face swimming in your vision, and you watch his mouth move, though you can't quite make out what he’s saying. It takes a few more seconds for the ringing to quiet down, a chorus of groans and screams alerting you to the pain of others, and finally Bellamy’s voice cuts through the noise, “Natshana, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

You nod weakly, trying to gather yourself. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

You sit up, groaning as you do, reaching over to touch your shoulder. When you pull your hand away, you see black blood on your fingers, and Bellamy must see it too because he reaches around to your shoulder and peels back your bandage. You’re sure it must look pretty bad because Bellamy pulls you to your feet, eyes frantically looking around. “We need to find Clarke.”

Alarms go off in your brain at the mention of her name, and you start to worry until your eyes fall on her nearby, already tending to someone’s wounds, looking fine. You sigh in relief, and Bellamy supports your weight as he tries to lead you there, pausing in place when Indra and Octavia appear in front of you. You’re relieved to see that she’s alive, blood splattered all over the side of her face, though you aren't sure if it’s hers. She’s leaning most of her weight on Indra, clearly hurting, but she’s alive, and that’s enough for now. Octavia, however, seems to think otherwise, because she’s pissed. Face pulled into a glare, directed at her brother. “I trusted you. This is your fault.”

You hear Miller yell from somewhere behind you, “Blodreina, what do we do now?”

Octavia sets her jaw, already walking away from her brother. “Now we go to war.”

You look up at Bellamy, watching as anxiety passes over his face, suddenly right back to where you were before Praimfaya came. Six years spent in three different locations, in space, on the ground, in the bunker, and you end up back at war for the last survivable spot on the planet. You remember Bellamy’s words to you and Kane when the three of you were locked up by Roan before Praimfaya, and you whisper, “We always end up here.”

The words don’t alleviate Bellamy's anxiety, and when you glance over to Clarke, you can see that she’s thinking the same thing that you are. Maybe none of you are as good as you think you are. Maybe you’re all just killers, and that’s all you’ll ever be. Maybe you will always be at war, one way or another, unable to live at peace.

Maybe you’re the problem.

next chapter

#the 100 rewrite #the 100 #bellamy blake #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake fanfiction

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twtrv · 6 years

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an accurate guide about red velvet

So since so many people are getting into Red Velvet recently, I decided to make a guide to help them out. You know, give yall some slack because learning five names is super hard. A guide accompanied by my half-assed jokes, interesting.

PSA: If you’re only here to stan the girls because of their recent comebacks like Peek-A-Boo and Bad Boy and are going to drop them as soon as they release tracks similar to Dumb Dumb and Ice Cream Cake, leave because we don’t want you here.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s get straight to business (TO DEFEAT THE HUNS WHY DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS)

Basic Facts

Red Velvet is a South Korean girl group formed by SM Entertainment in 2014.

There are five members (OT4 stans can choke).

They debuted on August 1st in 2014 with a single called “Happiness”.

Fandom name is Reveluv. Since “rêve” means “dream” in French, the meaning behind the fandom name is that us, Reveluvs, make their dreams come true and Red Velvet gives us their immense love in return, thus the “luv” part. Sometimes they also call us “Luvies”.

Official fandom colour is pastel coral and not red because l o g i c

The fact that they were formed by SM Entertainment doesn’t mean they got a free ride to the top so sit your entitled asses down, thanks.

Now, you see, they weren’t actually supposed to debut in 2014. I bet you must be confused but don’t worry, it is I, your trusty homie, that is gonna help you realize how many similarities every student has with SM lmao plus the reason for their early debut.

2014 was a rough year for our buddy Lee Soo Man. Jessica left Girl’s Generation; Sulli left f(x); Kris, Tao and Luhan left EXO... This, of course, caused a goddamn World War III amongst the fans of the respective groups. They were about to go in front of the official SM building with torches and pitchforks to demand SM to step up their game. To calm the situation down, our amigo SM must have thought: “Welp I sure fucked up. How the hell do I fix this? Wait, I have an idea! Let’s debut another girl group to cover up all the shit that has been piling up for years now!”

And your boi gone and did it. He basically debuted another group despite the number of problems he had to deal with already. This is every student ever, just make another problem to cover up the first one.

Red Velvet debuted with four members; Irene, Seulgi, Wendy and Joy. The “Happiness” music video got 2 million views in a day and was the most viewed kpop music video for the month of August in 2014. See, the queens already breaking records.

However, the original version of “Happiness” was full of controversial topics such as 9/11 being the most prominent one. This caused such hate to the girls that everyone started calling them “flops”. Lmao Red Velvet stays unbothered as the kpop act with the most Billboard charted albums bYE.

Some of you still may be wondering what the hell happened with Yeri. Well, because their debut was rushed and due to her age, Yeri, unfortunately, couldn’t debut with them. When Red Velvet debuted, Yeri was 15 years old so basically a child.

“bUt jiSUnG fROM ncT DreAM dEBuTed wHeN hE WAs onlY FoUrteEn”

Before, there was a law which stated that kids under the age of 16 couldn’t debut.

No need to worry fellow Yeri stans! Red Velvet only released another single called “Be Natural” before Yeri was officially added. The single featured NCT’s Taeyong on it too so if you are one of those fangirls, better go and check it out because your oppar is there + it is an underrated bop.

Yeri was added to the group during Ice Cream Cake era! Of course, many people hated her, acting as if Red Velvet released so many songs and solved world hunger without Yeri. Um, bitch they had two songs take a seat.

Discography and music in general lol

IT IS GOLD!1!!!!111!!

Okay listen, every single song of theirs makes me thot-drop in the middle of the goddamn school. Jesus Christ sunbaenim is shaking.

Albums: Ice Cream Cake, The Red, The Velvet, Russian Roulette, Rookie, The Red Summer, Perfect Velvet, The Perfect Red Velvet.

Queens of naming their albums don’t even @ me.

Listen to every single song if you want to cure your depression, clear your skin, feed your children and harvest your crops. Seriously, all of their b-sides are so amazing and such bops they are worth a listen and you, as a person who chose to stan Red Velvet, deserve to have your ears cleansed.

Another topic that I want to bring up is “the red concept” and “the velvet concept”. It is not complicated. Basically what it means is that they split their concepts into two. The red concepts are more upbeat, catchy and poppy songs such as Dumb Dumb, Rookie, Russian Roulette etc. However, the velvet concept is where they show their mature, more serious ballads. Songs that represent the velvet side are Automatic, One of These Nights, Peek-A-Boo etc.

They filmed 13 music videos so you are going to get attacked by visuals 13 times, good luck.

The members

The most interesting and fun part of this guide to be honest. So yeah, five members and five completely different personalities. Trust me, you’re gonna love every single one of these girls because they all have such amazing personalities and are extremely funny. Get abroad the homo express!

- Stage name: Irene

- Real name: Bae Joohyun

- Colour: Pink

- Position: Leader, Visual, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer, Vocal

- She really is a bae tho we love a powerful woman

- Born on March 29th, 1991; the eldest

- She literally looks five what the fuck

- tiny

- Takes pictures of everyone and everything so that she can stare at them while she does the laundry because she is such a mom

- “Shut the fuck up I am not a mom”

- A GODDESS PLUS TOP VISUAL OF THIS GENERATION NO PRINTER JUST FAX

- loves pussy

- Drinks men tears to stay hydrated

- Forgets names of her kids aka the rest of Red Velvet

- Snorts laundry detergent

- Talk shit get hit

- Silent but plotting world domination with her at the top

- Speaking of tops, she doms bYE

- She survived the World War II and was Stalin's deskmate when they were in the third grade

- xXButtLoverXx

- Likes winning. Who got to the finish line first? Her. Who travelled to space first? Her. Who found the cure for world hunger? Her.

- Actually very talented in everything she does and is a blessing to humanity

- Stage name: Seulgi

- Real name: Kang Seulgi

- Colour: Orange

- Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocal

- Either as fluffy as a teddy bear or a fucking sex God there is no in between

- Born on February 10th, 1994; second eldest

- hER EYES MAKE ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY

- She, in general, makes me question my sexuality

- also tiny

- “Hello I am the 71st prettiest face in the world”

- First half of the “DD” also known as “Dumbass Duo”

- Someone help her she is lost in time and space

- The type of person to put a red sock to wash with the whites

- Is not capable of doing the splits because she dumb lmao

- How the fuck is one this confused???

- Gets bullied by her members a lot

- A sunshine in human form. You know that sun from the Teletubbies? That be Seulgi

- Her abs make me feel like Kylie Jenner, y’know... pregnant

- “If there’s no food I’m going home”

- THE number one fan of Beyonce™

- Pringles advocate

- She didn’t train for 7 years to have people shit talking her because she is multitalented and leaves people all around the world shooketh

- Stage name: Wendy

- Real name: Son Seungwan

- Colour: Blue

- Position: Main Vocal, English speaker

- Is also a HELLA good rapper

- Born on February 21st, 1994; third eldest

- Used to live in Toronto when she was younger, her English proceeds to give everyone a boner

- the tiniest out of all

- The kpop singer with the widest vocal range (this is an actual fact)

- “S H I N E O N M E”

- So caring it makes me bawl. She literally cooks for everyone and is so supportive it is truly beautiful

- Is actually the one behind the iconic “PARK SOOYOUNG! WHEN YOU SMILE I SMILE TOO”

- If she ever covers your song, you can say goodbye to it because it’s hers now

- A soccer mom

- Also that famous Kris Jenner “You’re doing amazing sweetie” meme

- Rescue her scalp someone pls

- Probably used “WHOMST” once in her lifetime unironically

- The gayest out of all the gays

- She is a boob person and also has a very nice butt Irene knows

- Once stacked a gazillion hats on top of her head because why the fuck not

- Is also a sexy pornstar ... no wait, I meant a “saxophonist”

- Is so beautiful and deserves all the love in this entire world but the world doesn’t deserve her at all

- Stage name: Joy

- Real name: Park Sooyoung

- Colour: Green

- Position: Lead Rapper, Lead Vocal, Mood-maker

- + an actress

- Born on September 3rd, 1996: fourth eldest

- Invented “cute” and “sexy” don’t fight me on this

- TALL (for a Red Velvet member lmfao)

- Has the prettiest profile, God took extra time in crafting such a masterpiece

- Speaking of God... God is real and in a form of Park Sooyoung

- Likes finer things in life such as herself

- If the song “Me Too” was a human, it would be her

- Ruthless

- When she gets scared her soul deadass leaves her body and it is hilarious

- A dramatic bitch

- HAS THE BEST BODY SORRY YALL CAN’T COMPETE

- Can get very angery

- Probably was kinkshamed by someone once

- Is having a mental breakdown at every waking moment

- “Can you stop I’m very sensitive”

- Tom to Yeri’s Jerry

- Just the most amazing human being, an all-rounder and a happy virus

- Stage name: Yeri

- Real name: Kim Yerim

- Colour: Purple

- Position: Maknae, Lead Rapper, Sub Dancer, Vocal, Songwriter

- Is being an absolute savage a talent?

- Born on March 5th, 1999; the youngest

- The other half of the “Dumbass Duo”

- So much sass is contained in this tiny human being

- Plans to take over SM soon one day

- HAS THE MOST CONTAGIOUS LAUGH IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND IT IS SO GENUINE I LOVE IT

- Likes pineapple on pizza cancelled

- The OG Sone

- A mess

- (ง •̀_•́)ง

- Not a big spoon nor a little spoon, she a knife

- Tries her best

- Knows everyone and everything; what a social butterfly it warms my heart

- Likes to read smut so all of you smut fanfiction writers, watch out, she is lurking

- SPEAKING OF LURKING

- She lowkey had a fan account that was all about Girl’s Generation

- A woman we all aspire to be

- Is an actual cinnamon roll that yes, could kill you but everyone loves her because she really improved a lot. WE WATCHED HER GROW UP INTO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN SHE IS NOW B L E S S

Popular ships, let’s play a game where you guess which two people are paired up (not like it is completely obvious)

SEULRENE

WENRENE

WENSEUL

JOYRI

YERENE

JOYGI

JOYDY

WENRI

SEULRI

Ending note

On a more serious note, Red Velvet is an amazing girl group that deserves so much more. I hope this at least got you to check them out. If not, your loss lol.

I could use a fuckton adjectives to describe their perfection but trust me, that ain’t enough.

Anyways, OT4 stans can fuck off, don’t comment on this post.

Just love all the girls and don’t point out their insecurities in a rude way mmkay?

This is all from me and I hope you enjoyed and that this helped you and maybe made you chuckle (maybe?)

If there is another question that you want me to answer, ask me because I would love to.

P.S. It doesn’t have to be Red Velvet related because I am trash that stans more groups than the number of bad jokes I made in this post.

Follow for more quality top-notch content.

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merlinthoughts · 5 years

Text

Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot<3

- YES BBG’s IT'S MY BOY LANCE

- he’s one of my fav characters u guys don't even KNOW

- like yah okay, i've only seen hiM FOR ONE EPISODE

- but he’s the light of my life

- and he may not even come back but he looks like a character that would come back especially if the fucking ep is named after him

- oh damn, i sure hope he does

- and goes into arthurs posse of knights or whatever, replacing val

- or what valerie was gonna be

- idek, lets get to it bc i could go on for days just picturing lance as a main character while continuously expressing my love for him

- BUT NOTHING ELSE OBVIOUSLY BC THIS IS NOW A CATHOLIC WEBSITE

- tumblrs trynna urge me to go with them nasty thoughts

- you wish tumblr

- you WISH you can ban me

- u can't live without sucking dick >:(

- wow slow down shev... wow okay sorry. christianism. i forgot

- it got the best of me

- back to the episode!

- omg it's buckbeak why he making a cameo in merlin??

- my inner potterhead(uwu) is coming out i hate this

- bet you can't guess which house i'm in ;)

- it's fucking slytherin, it's literally so obvious

- hissshiss motherfuckers

- ew guys

- this is so hard to type considering my fucking ‘-’ button (called a dash for u furries who only see a face) is broken and i have to literally smash it to make it work, so i'm just insanely typing up the next dash by screaming at my keyboard that i can't fucking fix

- and i have so many dasHES TO DO!

- that made no sense bc yall aren't living in my socks at the moment

- BUT I'M DYING IT'S SO HARD TO JUST GET IT TO PRESS

- fuck it copy paste, my best friend, you always come when the time is needed

- LANCELOT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL

- lowkey looked like that guy from the 100 though

- but better

- nothing against baloney of course

- lancelot literally just introduced himself, the camera panned in onto his chest, then he proceeded to faint or some shit with the camera still zoomed on his chest, and merlin reached up to grab his shirt, probably to yank it the fuck off and the opening credits rolled up. wtf was that scene.

- WAIT I REWINDED IT

- it's not supposed to be a zoom in of his chest lmao, my hoe ass thought we had a little fanservice for a second, but there's a big mushroom-looking blood stain on his shirt which i guess is supposed to mean he's fucking dead so it's not all that confusing anymore

- when was he stabbed tho?

- whatever. shit always goes down in BBC that's often unexplainable.

- “it had claws, wings…” arthur stops his sentence melodramatically while uther looks terrified. “and.. what?” WHAT UTHER?? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?? YOU THINK ARTHURS GONNA BE LIKE “FANGS, STEVE BUSCEMI'S EYEBALLS, DANNY DEVITO’S HAIRLINE, TALKS LIKE JOHN MULANEY?? I JUST TOLD YOU WHAT I SAW, NOT WHAT I IMAGINED. FATHER”

- but no… livestock apparently

- that’s what uthers shocked by

- not that theres a fucking griffin living in his world

- wait theres magic, means theres magic creatures doy

- but still, even if we all had magic here, i think it would be a little shocking seeing a griffin come for buckingham palace randomly

- or i guess if youre reading this and are in america, in the white house

- oh and it took only people apparently

- i guess that’s a little more severe but i stand uncorrected

- they be having a wild time in the hippogriff’s house ;)

- honestly sounds like a fucked up hogawart house

- here we have slytherin, hufflepuff, ravenclaw and... *looks at smudged writing on hand* hippogriff

- okay, who tf has a dream of coming to camelot when it's the most feared place, with banned magic and an asshole king with his hot bitchy son and a sorcerer who just brings chaos to the land

- well i mean, me

- bc of the hot bitchy son but whatever

- camelot? more like cameNOT

- arthur calls himself the ultimate killing machine like the edge lord he is

- ARTHUR FUCKING KO’D THE BITCH

- knee to the nose and all wtf man

- this is probably foreshadowing smth with the “only noble blood can swoosh like a knight” thing, like somethings gonna happen and poor people are gonna revolt and uthers gonna be like “GEEZ fine, okay, no nobles can become a knight”

- merlins such a shit stirer, telling lance he can be a knight and telling him arthur would love him when we really know whats gonna happen bc of that rule

- and here’s gaius like uhh u liar wtf, crushing lance’s dreams while merlins just like wtf gaius, live in the moment, we can do anything, this is OUR show

- literally their such good friends and have known each other for a solid 10 minutes only

- i'm not that big into beards but id love to rub my face on lance’s

- HOMEWORK IS MERLIN’S EXCUSE, MERLIN UR LIKE 20 IN A WORLD PROB WITHOUT HOMEWORK

- haha little fault there, or like a minor inconvenience which isn’t important but i like to pretend to be smart: middle ages or well the show’s era was more in “AD” (476-ish is the start of middle ages, while the arthurian legend is supposed to happen in the 5/6th century so yeah, technically 400/500 AD), and homework supposedly only started up in 1095 so BOOM BBC GOTCHA

- no, merlin’s not gonna perform magic right in front of the librarian

- does he not know the wrath of librarians???

- our librarian at school literally kicked everyone out of the library once for the whole semester because there was an apple core on the bookshelf. this was during exam week. do u know how much i wanted to kill the person who didn't admit to their mistakes and let everyone suffer. WE COULDN'T ENTER TO EVEN STUDY

- OH GOD, HE'S DOING IT MERLIN IS A FUCKING MESS

- gwen and lancelot are my favourite thing, i literally want them to be together by the next episode

- or the next one with lance

- WAIT LANCELOT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER ISN'T HE BC I KNOW VAGUELY THE ARTHURIAN LEGEND AND LANCELOT WAS A KNIGHT WASN'T HE???? HE WAS A FUCKING KNIGHT AND ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT NEXT TO LIKE IDK BEDEVERE OR SMTH THIS IS AMAZING NEWS GUYS I LITERALLY COULD BE A DETECTIVE

- !!!! the only heto ship on this show i actually adore !!!!!!

- i mean i only love two things: merthur and glance

- idek what gwen and lance’s ship name is so its now glance

- merlin would be the best wingman for them by being gwens bestie

- “you can start by cleaning out the stables” *lance looks to merlin while merlin gives him the biggest smile and thumbs up* this fuckING DORK

- harry potter au where everything is the same but that grim reaper looking human creature in the prisoner of azkaban executing buckbeak is actually lancelot in the future

- for symbolism purpose, not saying lance is like an animal killer but yknow

- same thing with the griffin yknow

- the two prettiest dudes in my world fighting against one another while sweat is glistening down their forheads is my new favourite aesthetic

- BUCKBEAK HAS COME

- oh wait no, people having been attacked by buckbeak have come

- netflix fucked up by subbing arthur as “orther” and i never laughed so hard

- don’t make me fucking laugh when there’s an ambush, netflix, this is not christian

- annd arthur’s pride is gone, and he goes up to chop lance’s fucking head off

- OH SHIT THAT TRANSITION THOUGH

- i'm so proud of my bb like genuinely so proud, lance deserves so much and here is is!! a knight!!

- MORGANA APPEARS THE LOML

- the three lomls in one room?? seriously bbc?? you really doing that to me?? for once im actually impressed and happy

- he's gonna get caught, i mean i KNOW that, but like it's still stressing out

- ewewewewewewewewewew

- arthur called morgana “isn't she so beautiful??” with a lovey dovey face pls don't lead this to that stepsibling porn bullshit i'm going to fucking puke

- i hated that shadowhunter bullshit like they seriously going to hit me with the indirect incest?? i was so done. i hated jace and clary, idc if theyre like the most popular couple, like wheres my raphael lovers at bc that's a boy i can enjoy

- “so if you could choose one... lance or arthur?” merlin subtly asks gwen like he doesn't have an answer himself

- it would have been so perfect geez, gwen and lance, merlin and arthur, myself and morgana

- i really wanna know what lance, merlin and arthur look like drunk bc that's a hell of a hangover they got the next morning and they probably cut out most of the soiree so like what did they do?? was there any drunk dancing and flirting??? bc i literally want to see that happen

- ik it's a bad thing but those drunk tropes where someone confesses their love to the person they like while under the influence is my favourite thing bc it's both hilarious, genuine and the other person often helps them to their feet and gets them to a safer place to rest and that's fricken adorable guys!

- not the drinking obviously, thats like a thing you can enjoy if you want but ya girl does not like drinking. or, well, she likes drinking with a limit. you can tell who likes to be the designated driver lmao. people here be drinking flat out whiskey and i tried it once and it burned by fucking throat

- merlin fucked up

- and this is technically his fault

- THEY GOT CAUGHT LMAO IT IS HIS FAULT

- hungover and caught this won't bode well

- “not worthy of a knighthood”

- hey so how do you retract a knighthood?

- do you like reverse the shoulder tapping

- like if you're christian, bc you know, we, as a christian group on this tumblr site, should already know about it... but when we do that cross thing on our shoulders, it means like a direct call with god or some shit. and if we do it the opposite direction it's considered the antichrist so is it the same for knighthood?

- OMG I JUST HAD AN EPIPHANy

- okay with christianity it's tapping the head the stomach, shoulder then shoulder, right? but the reverse is the anti cross like shoulder to shoulder, stomach and head. but… what if it were tapping the stomach, crotch, hip to hip? it would make sense right??? since the cross is upside down… it would lead to the dick and not the head. THAT'S WHY IT'S AN UPSIDE DOWN CROSS. BC YOU AINT SUPPOSED TO GRAB THEM BALLS UNTIL MARRIAGE!!! I SEE OMG I SEE YOU JESUS, TRYNNA HIDE UR FLOURISHING SEXUALITY

- omg guys, don't grab ur fucking balls in this blog post, it's considered the antichrist

- “you never will be” lmao he's gonna come back, he's lancelot, that's a main in the og legend

- how pissed will lance be with merlin

- i hope big time bc like... angry lance *dries off sweat with hands*

- aw damn lance isn't mad he's like “this is my punishment. mine to bare, mine to bare alone. stop blaming urself. i put this on me” this fucking goof is making me swoon once fucking more

- NOW BUCKBEAKS BACK

- he's a real goat x3

- buckbeak can literally fuck shit up in the air, camelot has nothing on him

- ARTHURS FUCKING DEAD LMAO

- oh wait he aint, just a few of his knights

- imagine being an extra and playing as one of those knights. having to fight next to bradley james, and have him look at you when someones doing something stupid like you can mentally agree with him and then pretend to die on camera. that would be my dream. make-a-wish better do me some good when i get diseased that will prob be named after me

- hoephagus

- stupidolis

- nah thats stupid

- ;)

- i now understand mulans will to pretend to be a guy and join the army bc i would literally do that if i could stay with arthur fucking pendragon

- aw it's called a griffin not a hippogriff

- i'm saddened

- harry potter has taught me WRONG

- this looks to be the climax where merlins like “fine guys, geez, i'll kill the griffin bc i'm magic!! wow!!! but arthur obviously knew, and i thought gwen was gonna know but she shocked me even more when she didn’t like fucking hell everyones oblivious. but since you can only kill buckbeak with magic, sigh, i'm exposing myself ig” even if it's like halfway through season 1 with 5 seasons altogether, this looks to be the right time

- this really sounds to be what we are waiting for, what kilgarah said about the destiny merlin will have

- WAIT WE HAVEN'T SEE THAT BITCH IN A WHILE

- wheres the dickwad gone lmao like was the actor busy the last few episodes or what?

- OMG ARHTURS BREAKING LANCE OUT OF PRISON SO HE CAN BE A KNIGHT

- how is the “arthurs pretty gay” theory not popped up more times on here

- like we all know merthurs pretty great and all

- but CANON wise arthur seems super gay to me

- like he just told lance to get up his ass because “i need… uhh... camelot needs” like he was just about to say he needs lance in his life

- have you not seen the glances??

- fucking hell

- arthur slowly comes closer to lance pretending to talk about what he knows about the creature

- lance also coming closer to ask if he truly believes that, with a raised eyebrow

- thought this shit was only in books and fanfics

- but no guys, we got a gay eyebrow raise

- bc we all know only the gays are capable of eyebrow raises

- fucking hell this is gay i cant even explain it

- like its subtly gay, but out of context youd think this is something out of a fansite

- and merlins not even in this scene

- “take the horse and never return to this place” OKAY NO FIRST OF ALL SECOND OF ALL FUCK OFF LMAO THIS ISNT GAY ANYMORE

- i mean he’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart, saving him from prison and all but lance wants to like… be a good man and you aint letting him do that

- OMG LANCE IS SAYING GOODBYE TO GWEN

- LANCE BETTER FUCKING KISS HER

- I LOVE GWEN AND LANCE TOGETHER #STAN

- fucking kiss you fucking bafoon

- THEY DIDN'T FUCKING KISS WTFUCKINGFUCK

- merlin looks so dumb holding his dagger as if he doesn’t know what to do with it but i love that for me

- WAIT I THOUGHT LANCELOT WAS LITERALLY GONNA GO YEET OUT OF CAMELOT NOT TO FUCKING SACRIFICE HIMSELF AND FIGHT THE GRIFFIN

- bafoons, all of them

- big bouncing bucking bafoons

- arthur looks so scared i've never been so in love and want to PROTECT

- omg for all merlin and lance know, that scream was arthur fucking dying- OMG IT WAS ARTHUR

- HE'S FUCKAN DEAD

- nvm he's alive but like yall not think to check for some arterial wounds bc he could be alive now, but in 5 mins he could legit not make it

- slow music means death

- lancelot you were the best husband i've ever had, rip

- i would be crying more if i didn’t know what happened, but since i already spoiled myself on the first season by watching this about a year ago, i'm not that sad but its still getting to me slightly

- hahahaha so happy everyones okayyy

- ARTHUR AND LANCE TiME!

- arthur looks so happy for lance literally crack ship right there

- why does nobody talk about this wyd

- and here’s arthur defending lance’s honour

- but uthers being a bitch

- omg that transition from lance being told to wait outside, the camera following him out of the room and the doors slamming behind him just in time to hear uther yell at arthur from next door is what gives me chills

- uther better fucking accept lance

- “the law is the law” yeah but the law also says to stop being a stuck-up bitch, uther

- literally lance is the only fucking person to not see through merlins blatant magic tricks

- like he saw that shit, called it out and was not like “oh what its a trick of the wind, surely”

- and he's not fazed at all, u see merlin it aint that bad to tell some people

- the only thing he is worrying about is the credit he says he doesn’t deserve bc merlin killed the griffin and not him

- see how fucking great my husband is, guys

- he better not be like “sucks to suck, i lied again! it aint me, chief” to uther and arthur

- NAH OKAY HE’S JUST BIDDING HIS FAREWELL IM GONNA FUCKING CRY IN THE CLUB

- he better fucking come back soon >:(

- seasonal guest star at least

- main characters, big bonus

- we barely saw morgana this episode and i'm not okay with that, but at the same time it was more lance-centric so i'm aight actually. we got all the time in the world for my baby girl, but lance :’( good luck man

- literally everyone is so gay for lance

- gwens into him for sure, and i love that the most (guess thats not gay but whatever, beggars can't be choosers)

- arthur has a little crush ngl

- and merlins full out in love with him

- not to mention MY FUCKING SELF

- i mean, i won't deny that he’s literally perfect in every way and i've only known him for one episode, but i agree whole heatedly with these crushes

- “till next time, sir lancelot” merlin whispers with a smile

- yeah that's me right there

- BC I'LL BE SEEING HIM IN THE FINAL EPISODE OF THIS SEASON!

- greeting us all with the news on being cast full-time for the show, being the best guard around and a lover boy to all

- guys i feel like i'm on aphrodisiacs but instead of desire for sex, it's love for lancelot

- send help

#this is a long one yall #maybe bc i found a new crush but yknow #merlin #merlin bbc #merthur #s1 #s1ep5

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