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#it was an adjustment to stay to myself but im having much more fun now so 🤷🏽‍♀️
savnofilter ¡ 1 year
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i know it's been years since the bnha drama you had to go through in 2020, but i wanted to say that i've thought about really it for years and years and i was on your side for when it happened. i still remain on your side, and i hope you were given proper apologies from yk who and their defenders. you most likely never want to think about it again, but i hope you know that what you did mattered. i think about it really from time to time remembering how the internet was so eager to go against a bunch of teens and how cruel it was really at the time. i know you endured a lot of hate for it, and i hope you're doing better now!
let's be real here, aint nun of them ever apologized to me and never will. it's pretty evident how past the few troll hate asks i got recently, everything is 100% lbh and them and it's not made up cuz apparently mfs think i send hate to myself LOL.
atp idc cuz everyone else ive ever had a problem with that werent part of their circle or used to be, ive actually amended and made up with. but thank you for this, it def doesnt effect me like it did back in the day (idky i aged myself like that). i definitely am better now! mentally, emotionally (i think; im stunted there if we're being quite honest) and overall i love life. i love everything in it like im just chilling... if anything that whole thing made me realize that i was limiting myself being on here 24/7 and straining myself worrying ab shit that didnt need to be worried ab.
so even if i took the L and there are so many fake fuckass niggas on this site (or left) who said they know ab whats happened but still fuck with nonces they can go die like the rest of them. 🖕🏽 it's truly disappointing how cowardly most are to refuse the idea of not supporting someone simply bc they wanna read degenerate bakugo fanfic. i would be lying if i wasnt honest on how hurt i really was when ppl also lied on my name saying i did shit i never did or the fact that no shade no tea, anonie, getting asks like this and then crickets publicly. and to that if there are more recent victims or ppl effected by her and her friends actions you deserve it!!!! lol.
im apathetically bitter but im just glad i can finally talk my shit on my blog LOL. i used to be so scared of talking ab what was really going on, walking on eggshells bc i still wanted to be seen as just funny little Sav who makes borderline crack fics. i am not one to sub a bitch, imma call you out your name but yk who tf im talking ab!! it feels good to be free to speak ab what i want, not feeling pressured to conform to ideologies i dont agree with (proship, dark content, politics etc etc). so tbh im very happy with the outcome. bc at the end of the day i know i spoke nothing but the truth and even with no support i can sleep at night knowing i got no skeletons in my closet. i own to the things i do, i will admit when im wrong and i love to grow as a person. i speak my truth and dont need everyone to agree with it or debate me. 🤷🏽‍♀️
also yall choose your friends wisely. use your intuition. dont ignore that gut feeling and dont fw ppl yk do shitty things. you will get caught up in it, and thats past tumblr cesspool drama advice. it's very tempting to be that bad person. it's tempting to do whatever you want but everything has a consequence.. everything you put out, you receive back.
n ik im not mf saint either bitch ☠️ cuz i made a choice at 14 y.o joining this site, i was either gonna be some wholesome pushover or a bitch. i took the latter, did the time and now ive learned that i dont need to be rude or a bully in order to be assertive. that having respect for yourselves and others doesnt mean to be unnecessarily mean to mfs who DONT deserve it. everything just feels like a life lesson tbvh. im gonna keep arguing with niggas online cuz i eat everyone up even when im outnumbered. 🥴 but to everyone who genuinely deserves an apology from me has received it and likewise. and that's all i can ask for.
tldr; ive learned a lot, that time was very sucky but we up. 🤪🤳🏽
p.s shoutout to ms gworl @/mci bc she kept me in check and helped me a lot. no bum on this site will ever compare to her at all. oh yeah and i will talk ab the callout any chance i get so neva tell me to let it go!! <3
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wildcatfourteen ¡ 6 months
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how do you come up with such interesting composition? your pieces are always so captivating 💗
thank youuuuuuuuuu <33 and the truth is. idk. i am kinda just winging it and making a lot of adjustments as i go.... im not very orderly about it and have my thoughts kinda all over the place. heres some examples under the cut w what process pics i could find
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direction process goes >>>
first did a pencil sketch for big shapes. was just placing stuff down. i wanted to make ref sheets for an art trade but didnt want to make a traditional type bc i hate drawing ppl standing full body (bc im bad at it 👍) also i did not have specific outfits in mind and was going more for a reference of the general vibe of the characters, so i just wanted a full body pose + face close up. to avoid having to show specific details. bc i was cheating. was originally going to have multiple text bubbles around for the character facts
did like two sketches digitally. messed around a LOT with placement. the little emote heads came out of me feeling like it was empty and boring on its own and they are fun to draw so why not include them. the multiple text bubbles seemed like a bad idea now so i took them out and just did one text wall.
i actually dont like the text wall now and think breaking it up wouldve been more fun visually but that would've required effort i didnt wanna put in LOL
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^ i lost the pencil sketch for this one (i always do a pencil sketch) but it was actually just the two half body drawings at first with none of that shit at the bottom or the close ups until i was like fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i gotta add smth around to make this look like theres stuff happening..... the idea was to draw the two main characters of the labb novel in some kinda comic format w panels around and i then. kept adding things until it seemed like i was getting somewhere. thats kind of my process for everything TT i think it helps to stay in a workshopping stage for longer if needed to get somewhere but i often get impatient LOL
im putting a stupid note abt this here bc im still annoyed at myself but in this novel, there was a bit about a crossword puzzle related to a murder case and i only thought of it afterwards that it would be kinda cool to put the sugar cubes in like a crossword puzzle formation....... why didnt i do that......
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^ and heres some of the process for this one, but i lost a LOT of the steps for this. the beginning was totally different. the character wasnt as pathetic and scared looking at first but then i was like uhhhhh lets draw him that way :)
the first pencil draft was from a different perspective and it was gonna have a mirror composition to it kinda? but i wasn't able to make that look appealing so i deleted it. it still had the curtains tho but then i also included stuff with framed mirrors + other frames around
i decided to instead make the curtains be the focus of the whole piece to not make it so cluttered. character's pose was so different at first it was so bad i dont even wanna remember it. i took out the frames entirely bc i didnt think they added much to the piece in terms of the atmosphere. since like. the more i worked on it w the character's + the goat's expressions the more it gave a 'being hunted' feeling to it and portrait frames dont fit that vibe. which feels funny bc u look at it and thats all u can think abt but i wasnt even gunning for that when starting out. BE FLEXIBLE. TRUST THE PROCESS.
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yuxmemi-01 ¡ 16 days
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Ch. 2 Crescent Moon
The Cullens
“How was school, love?” Brie asks as we make it into the house, “it was…strange. I met a girl and got to talk to her group of friends, they seemed okay.” I shrug my shoulders as I head up to my room.
Okay, firstly, the Cullens. An adoptive family, and bella is dating one of them. Who is Jasper and why is he so familiar? Why were they staring at me like that? Why was today so weird?!
I flop on my bed and ponder.
All of a sudden I get a flashback to my nightmare, That thing, its honey blonde fur… those eyes…those eyes! Thats why hes so familiar! He looks like the thing from my nightmare.
I shiver, the way he stared at me, we made eye contact…it felt like some sort of link. But why? Am I going insane? Probably.
I change my clothes and get my homework done, I even read a few chapters of a vampire novel to occupy my mind. Bad, bad idea. The nightmares only got worse.
This time, it was him, only his eyes were different, yellow—no, Golden. Like a predator chasing its prey, which was me, his eyes never once left me, I was tackled to the ground, his mouth opened wide and his teeth were sharp and big, I felt so insignificant as his mouth rushed to my neck, then I woke up.
“Damnit!” I shake my head.
“Tuesday mornings, gotta love em.” I get out of my new cold and comfortable bed to enter that muggy hell hole.
The students are Always so loud…
Jasper Pov
That girl…who was she? And why did she smell…different? I would have done something unspeakable, and at the time, it felt like it would be worth it. To drain her body of everything, she smelled so…so sweet, so fragrant, so appealing. I throw my head backwards in my chair. What is wrong with me? I need to get a grip!
“Its not unusual you know?” In my doorway was Edward, this prick.
“It would be lovely if you could stop picking my brain. Thanks.” I roll my eyes. “Thats how I felt the first time I met Bella, it wont do you any good to run, trust me—I know.” He smirks at me.
“This is serious! How am I going to survive a day without wanting to—eat her!?”
“You can get used to it, the urges will go away sometimes, and come back other times, but youre in control.” He walks closer and pats my shoulders. “Sometimes isnt good enough! And why are you talking about her as if we’ve already established a relationship?”
He looks at me with a look only we know—“Alice.” We both say in unison, should have known.
“As you heard earlier today, her name is Abril Torrez. Shes from Peurto Plata, Dominican Republic and she loves purple, and books, shes a softy once you get under that hard shell, fun to be around—shes a delight Jaz, youre all gonna love her!”
She blabbers on and on about this Abril girl, I could care less about, shes just made it harder for me to stay in control, as if it wasnt hard enough already. Just thinking of her—my throat is so dry it burns!”
“Guh! We need to go hunting now! Before I make a run for it.”
Abril Pov
I cant wait until this week is over, these clothes are unbelievably unbearable! Its like my legs are being held captive and put on display!
Me and Bella talk Majority of first hour, it was nice to have someone calm to talk to, she was so nice and cool, in an older sister kind of way.
I really want this friendship to work, not like the other ones.
Time flies and eventually im face to face with the door to fourth hour, I take a deep breath and step in. Hes there, in all his glory, just like yester…day?
His eyes…! Theyre Golden?
His face contorts to confusion as I sit down, he wont stop staring, theres only so much eye contact I can avoid, is he looking at my face? I adjust myself and my hair to cover my cheeks as I put my head down.
Jasper Pov
Why was she so taken aback? Was she expecting me not to be here? She’s uncomfortable. I shift the atmosphere to make her a bit more approachable, shes still shy, she uses her hair to cover her face, now that I think about it, I’ve never paid attention to her as a whole, I only viewed her as a vessel of sweet—no.
Ill try to put what Alice said into practice.
Her hair, its a dark brown with nice shiny coils, it has volume and looks good with her brown skin complexion. Her eyes are a soft slanted almond, big but subtle at the same time…her lips, full and two toned, her body is what every girl would dream of, curvaceous yet slim, she wears a silver necklace with an initial, ‘B’ who is B?
Why should I care?
“How are you today?” I say to her, she jumps in response, I have to tone her down just a bit more. Her shoulders relax as she tries to generate a response. “Im doing okay for a Tuesday…” she starts to slide the B initial on her necklace back and forth. “Sorry I didnt speak yesterday, I was a bit crabby.” I chuckle to loosen the mood.
“Its okay, everyone has their days.” She looks up at me and offers a soft smile. If I had a working heart it would have fluttered, her heart shaped face was hit with the light above us, her eyes seemed to grow brighter when her eyes met mine.
I couldn’t bring myself to look away from them…
“Who is B, if you dont mind me asking.” I look down at the necklace in between her index and thumb. “Oh, my Godmother, her name is Brie.” Her tone had nothing but gratitude and adoration in it. “You sound very fond of her.” She laughed softly. “I am. Shes an amazing woman.”
How sweet, Alice was right, thinking of someone as a person does help the thirst, I need to apologize.
The day goes by as normal, only there was this urge to get to know more, it was an itch that needed to be scratched—to know everything about her, why is that?
A woman later came at the end of the day to pick Abril up, the one Im, guessing is her godmother—Brie she said, like the cheese, how weird.
I followed the car far behind in the woods, I took a mental note of her address and left. I made my mind up, im going to learn as much as possible about her so i can fight these urges, this is how ill cope.
Who are you Abril? And why am I so drawn to you?
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nightmare-dreamt ¡ 1 year
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My name is Joey, im a Aquarius and my other zodiacs are Leo, Sagittarius and Aries, my MBTI is ENTP, im transgender, aromatic and unlabeled, im adhdtistic, i have brown shoulder length hair(which will be cut off soon to more boyish hair), i wear glasses and im pretty much in between skinny but a little bit chubby, also lastly I wear a shit load of styles like goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth and nu goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku manba and kogal), scenemo/emo, and lastly vkei, ouji and lolita.
this is what I look like ^^
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My personality is ENTP but usually I’m a little non-talkative and awkward at first when I meet a new person so it may take me some time to adjust to them before I can be myself, i usually love to ramble my interests to other people and I also enjoy when they talk to me too, im also not afraid to get snarky when someone bothers me to much, im also pretty protective of people and my own interests LMAOO always that’s all I got for his section👍
My hobbies/interests(warning: fun shit ahead⚠️): anime/manga, fashion, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), gaming, cooking, learning new languages (Japanese and Spanish), i also like doing gym, listening to music/making music, musicals, hanging out with my friends, going shopping, cosplaying, social media and more so on
Dislikes: negative mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like “you remind me of ____” ,also spiders.. I scream whenever I see one, fish, sleeping in uncomfortable places
Thanks again!
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Matchup For Joey!
This is my second matchup so bare with me if things are wrong. For the most part, I hope you enjoy!
Hacker:Akudama Drive
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The two of you met within a group mission, both being crucial parts that needed to work together, but Hacker wasn't for the idea of working along with someone else and worked on his own things in quiet. When the mission began going south, he started to realize that he was going to need to work together even if it was out of his comfort zone.
After a few hours, Hacker began to realize that you were pretty good at what you're doing and that your work was actually useful. Shocking to most, he chooses to stay connected after the mission just in case he needs help with something. But, secretly he wants to hang out more and he thinks that you're cute… you didn't hear that from me though.
Once a year passes by, Hacker finally gets the courage to ask you out on a date, now knowing a lot about you. His preferred date night is inside, maybe watching a movie or playing a new game together. Of course if you're interested in going out somewhere, he would find some way into getting a reservation (likely hacking into the resturants database and adding a reservation in) for an expensive dinner and then taking you out to see the stars.
Hacker's not into PDA, maybe if the two of you are dating for a while he'll start feeling more comfortable but for the most part he's keeping to himself.
I feel like both of your styles would go good together, especially some of the goth ones. Hacker wouldn't be into matching outfits, but he would try and wear something similar whether it be the color or the pattern. The two of you would share music back and forth with each other, possibly even have a shared playlist for all of your guys' music. He would play music and dance around the room when he got finished with a super hard code or mission, almost like a victory dance,
Hacker would act like he didn't care about your interests and the things you ramble about, but deep down he's making sure to hear every word and remember it
An average day between the two of you is hanging out in a dark room and working on things you both enjoy, Hacker would be working on some sort of code and would ask for some advice on how to make it better.
After some time being together, I feel like Hacker would open up about his thoughts about something else being out there and how he dreams of reaching it. From that point forward, he starts opening up more to you about his insecurities and the fear of nothing actually being out there.
Kouichi Shindou: HoriMiya
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You met Kouichi from your mutual friend, Miyamura, who introduced the two of you in junior high school. You weren't sure how to feel about him, but that all changed when you got to see the side of him around Miyamura, sticking up for him and helping him become a better person. Some time had gone by and the two of you were now in high school, except the two of you didn't go to the same high school. He went to another school nearby in order to get his life set together, which you're happy about until the news of him repeating his second year went around. You made sure to never let him live it down.
Valentines had rolled around and Miyamura and you were on your way home when the sounds of girls squealing were heard nearby. Across from them, the ginger haired boy tried to leave the big crowds of girls who waited for him to accept their gifts.
Watching the interaction between the two, a new feeling bursted within as you stomped over through the crowd of people. Grabbing Kouichi's arm, you drag him away from the crowd bringing him to your dorm not sure what to do next. Talking, he begins to question why you brought him to your house and away from those people, in which you let split that you felt jealous and didn't want him to receive valentines from other people
Once the secret was revealed, the two of you agreed to go out with each other and soon enough a relationship was born.
Date nights with Kouichi are outside in calming areas where he can feel free to be himself without the screaming girls always behind him. He once took you to a flower field filled with all sorts of flowers, along with your favorite. The two of you then had a picnic and stared at the stars when nightfall hit embracing the comfort of each other.
Takashi Morinozuka: Ouran High School Host Club
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You accidentally ran into them when the group was going to the market and Honey-senpal had gotten lost needing help to find his friend. Lucky for him, you happened to be there to help and with a little bit of searching the two of you found his friends who were panically searching for their friends.
Enjoying your company, Honey-senpai wanted to keep in touch and invite you to one of his many tea parties with all of his sweets. Accepting the invite, that was how you met the blonde's best friend, Mori-senpai.
You weren't sure about him not knowing much about him considering that he didn't talk much and preferred to listen, but he won you over when Tamaki was in one of his moods and was throwing pillows around the host club. He got so angry that he threw one extremely hard your way, but before it could hit you Mori-Senpai caught it, saving your life.
From then on, the two of you became closer and soon enough a date is arranged between the two of you, plus honey of course. All of you went to a dessert cafe and had a blast, especially honey who ended up having a stomach ache after leading to Mori carrying him home, but that allowed the two of you to have some time alone.
Your guys' relationship was good besides the constant girls from the host club, but Mori and the host club members always made sure to stick up for you when one of them tried to tear you down.
Your relationship is usually spent with Honey and the host club, but there are some small chances when the two of you get to be alone, but it doesn't happen much. When the two of you are together, Mori-senpai listens about your day and makes sure to note everything that's said when you're rambling. He's a good listener and can memorize anything your saying. You mention something you want? He's already planning to get it. You had a bad day? He's planning to make it better.
Definitely boyfriend material and father material, I mean we have seen the way he acts around Honey.
That's it for the matchup and I hope you enjoyed Joey! Request are open! Feel free to send one in :)
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raptorials ¡ 2 years
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I'm curious if you've had any big culture shock moments since moving to Japan. Were there any things that shocked you or have you generally adjusted without any problems?
not really any major culture shock since this isnt my first time staying in japan long-term. any of the more fun wOaH jAPan haS tHIs tHing!! things like 'weird' foods or like public bathing or whatever the fuck my attitude is very much fuck it we ball but i wouldnt say it was without problem...like i had a totally empty apartment at first, was sleeping on a mattress on the floor for a couple days, had no wifi in my apartment up until last week and spent nearly 3 weeks going to mcdonalds to use the internet (i tried so many menu items), i still dont have a japanese phone number because of various bureaucratic bullshit (well i can finally get one now but ive been procrastinating whoops), im kind of literate and cant speak very well...and my fridge is broken<3 but ive the worst of it out of the way, i get to have a (tiny) apartment to myself, im in a walkable city with excellent public transit, and can devote my time to studying the thing ive been wanting to focus on studying for much of my life... it sure beats living in year-round heat and humidity where i couldnt really leave my house except on weekends and the only thing to do was drive a fucking car 15 minutes to the nearest store and spend $5 on a half gallon of milk. driving is scary and the lack of walkable cities and half decent public transit in much of america is hell actually
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yakultstrawberrygreentea ¡ 3 months
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For a long time I’ve been dying to add two night stands to my room. I was hesitant due to space constraints but I made it and I’m in denial.
My partner has been staying over lately and I have been struggling with sleep. Night terrors, claustrophobia, adjusting to hotter nights, too many pillows, my fibro acting up… yadayada. This is causing me to do anything to sleep. Like sleep upside down or on the floor or pass out in a chair. My sweet partner was like we just need to commit to moving things around. I found some nightstands I liked aesthetically and he offered to pay for one since he will be using one. He had a weird shift today and I didn’t want to go out in the heat, so I hyper focused on cleaning my room.
I went to TOWN. I vacuumed like 4 times. I made both nightstands by myself, moved almost all of the furniture in my room, dusted and sanitized the baseboards, setup our nightstands with respective items we use often, threw out trash, cleaned my ice maker, fold laundry, clean my fridge, and more. I did so much tasks around the house that I got more steps in the day at home than I do when I’m working an 8 hour office shift. My boyfriend saw everything and said I did a great job. Truthfully I knew everything was perfect when I saw my cat hop onto her little window ledge and pass out. It all worked out perfectly even though it meant I had to let go of a lot. I discarded some old shirts for donation, I listed several items to sell online, I reorganized bins and threw out old crafts I didn’t touch. I made a huge space under my bed available for my boyfriend or the opportunity to move more things around. I even setup this jug we are planning on using to hold coffee he will brew. Im super satisfied. Although I still have 2 piles of things to go through, I feel accomplished.
My room feels more adult in many ways. I love that my feet can dangle over the bed now since my mattress isn’t touching the wall. My cat has been exploring under my bed for fun and for the off chance she gets stuck under there, it’ll be easier to shoo her out or free her. I was so full of energy that I couldn’t relax a bit. I smoked a damn bowl and started to make a gundam. I can’t wait to parkour more on this bed like a stupidass.
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jimiminily ¡ 7 months
Text
🌹𝐻𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑦 𝑏𝑖𝑟𝑡ℎ𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒊 🌹
Enjoy your 30! 💜
18.02.2024
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Happiest 30th bday hobiiii 🎂🥳💕 A day full of sunshine, when hobi came
I miss him vm like at least he's coming back in like 8 months (17 oct) AND THAT'S VERY SOON (gaslighting myself) AND HOW HE TURNED 30?!?! HE WAS LIKE 26 WHEN I GOT TO KNOW HIM TIME IS PASSING BY SO FAST 😭
He's so adorable and sweet I miss him so much I can't believe we all have to go thru this wdym he's serving in the military ???? Stay safe and happy hobi ♡♡ goodluck with your service I love you so much 🥹💜
Time will pass quickly 🫡
He also wrote a letter on weverse today ♡
(Translation)
" ARMY !!!!!!!!!! this is hoseok~💕🫡
this is really.. fascinating/crazy !!!! my birthday did come...😅
i thought my birthday won't come while serving in the military...
but it's already february 18th ahhahahahah!!!
what does that mean..? it means! 'time goes on...' hahahaha
it's so fascinating that i ended up rambling on. 😅🤣
anyways, this is my first and last birthday i will be spending as an army soldier...! but these days, i really feel your love and interests in a big way hehe
from the reactions from those around me to the events you were hosting, i fully felt it with my skin so i think i feel <that love and interest> more!!! it's interesting and i feel like.. my shoulder goes up too:) (meaning that he feels proud)🤩😋🤩😙
it's all because of having our ARMYs right?🫡🫡😂😂
no matter what situation, in my heart, you all are always in the center...!! it's a big part that i never forgot while promoting/working for over the 10 years. 💝
though i always express and it might not be enough, but thank so much!!
thank you so much and i love you for being our fan and jhopes fan!
thanks to you, i am not lonely this birthday too!!!
i will healthily discharge from the military and greet you cooly!!
thank you!!
-from ARMY, to ARMY- "
No way he wrote "from ARMY, to ARMY-"
Welcome to the team bud 😭 this letter is super sweet :(
And he wrote an advanced letter too for his bday!
[HobisLetter] 📬Letter from jhope
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(in image)
"happy birthday jhope ♡♡♡
it is my birthday !!! 18th of february 2024...
a lot of people will be wishing me a happy birthday then too right ??,,,, kekeke just my wish..
i think it would be good to just tell you how im doing now !!
everyone, im adjusting well and doing welll~~!!
very healthily~~ ♡♡ hahahaha
the memories of getting lots of birthday wishes from you all every birthday is clear.
ive also celebrated my birthday together with you too !!
it is a shame that i have to give my greetings in a different way because i am completing my service.. but right now in my heart, i am thinking of you guys and am have strong feelings missing you even more !!
i was able to receive so many birthday wishes and my birthday was even more meaningful because of you all. this time again, i want to convey how thankful i always am from the bottom of my heart, that much more!!
i love you, for today, let us all have a hope day~♡♡"
And guess what! He also posted an :p
instagram
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They celebrated in the military too 🥹🎂💕 have fun in your free time
🐿️🎂🏞️>>🏃🏃‍♂️>>🥹💜👍
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Happy 30th Birthday to the gorgeous, super talented record-breaking, history-making Million-seller rapper, singer-songwriter, dancer, record producer, choreographer & Global Icon, the One & Only j-hope who rings in his birthday, trending at #1 WORLDWIDE on /TwitterX! 👏🎂🎉🌟🐐👑💜
j-hope rose to fame as the main Rapper of BTS, the Biggest band in the world! He is a hugely successful Solo Artist in his own right and one of the Best K-act performers, always paving the way! He was the first K-soloist to enter the “Top 100 Most Followed Artists” on Spotify, the first K-Soloist to surpass 16 Million followers and the most followed on Spotify for many years (now 2nd)! He's the 1st K-soloist to debut an album (Jack in the box) with over 60Million streams and the 1st k-Soloist to have 3 albums surpassing 500 Million streams on Spotify! j-hope is also the 1st South Korean Artist in history to headline a major US music festival "Lollapalooza" and the highest ticket- selling artist in Lollapalooza’s history! With his song "on the street" J-Hope is the 1st Asian Act to enter the Top 10 of the Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Digital Song Sales Year End Chart and the 1st member of BTS to earn a top-40 entry on the UK Singles Chart following its debut at #37, setting a new record as the highest-charting Korean soloist in the history of the chart at the time! j-hope ties PSY as the 4th K-act with the most #1 hits in World Digital Song Sales chart history after BTS! j-hope's solo discography including his songs under BTS has achieved 1,500 #1's on iTunes! He ties Suga as the Rapper with the most songs with over 100 x #1s on iTunes! His first solo mixtape, 'Hope World', in 2018 peaked at #38 on the US Billboard 200, breaking the record for the highest-charting album by a K- soloist at the time. He became the 1st member of BTS to enter the Billboard Hot 100 as a soloist in 2019, with his single "Chicken Noodle Soup", ft BeckyG, which debuted at #81. In 2022, J-Hope's chart-topping debut studio album 'Jack in the Box', scored the 5th biggest Album debut among K-soloists in history! J-hope is also the 1st K-Act to headline Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve in 2022!
j-hope has received 30 nominations and has won numerous awards including a Golden Disc Award in 2023, a Korean Hip Hop Award in 2023 for Best R& B track for "Rush Hour" with Crush and 2 MAMA Awards in 2022 including Most Popular Male Artist! In 2018, he was awarded the fifth-class Hwagwan Order of Cultural Merit by the President of South Korea and in 2021, he was appointed Special Presidential Envoy for Future Generations and Culture by President Moon Jae-in to help "lead the global agenda for future generations, such as sustainable growth" and "expand South Korea's diplomatic efforts and global standing" in the international community!
Further cementing him as one of the most influential K-figures globally.
And guess what!!!! >< he will release a new special album!!!!! BigHit just announced it!
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"We are pleased to announce the release of “HOPE ON THE STREET VOL.1,” a special album by BTS member j-hope.
“HOPE ON THE STREET VOL.1” is a special album featuring a total of six tracks and will be released alongside “HOPE ON THE STREET,” a docuseries that trails j-hope’s dance journey.
Please join j-hope as he looks back on his dance journey by listening to “HOPE ON THE STREET VOL.1” and watching the “HOPE ON THE STREET” docuseries.
*Release Date: 1 PM, Friday, March 29, 2024 (KST)"
🎁H͜͡a͜͡p͜͡p͜͡y͜͡🎁
🎉B͜͡i͜͡r͜͡t͜͡h͜͡d͜͡a͜͡y͜͡🎉
💜H͜͡o͜͡p͜͡e͜͡💜
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i dont know when the right time to talk to you again is, but i don’t wanna keep postponing what i need to say.
i've been contemplating on whether i should be staying with you cause im trying to consider whether i feel more happiness or anxiety during the times i spend with you. but im also putting into consideration that you've been my friend for so long and im not gonna easily just decide to throw everything we have away. despite the fact that i feel anxious easily when interacting with you, im not going to forget everything you've done for me and the times you were there for me.
its fun listening to your stories and rants to me, but i keep remembering that i dont feel safe enough with you to experience the same kind of joy if i were to tell my stories and rants as well. that thing is hard for me to deal with. the slightest change in your tone immediately ignites the suffocating anxiety i feel and im not saying this metaphorically. the anxiety i get physically affects me already and i need a break from it.
im scared of admitting that i feel anxious when i spend time with you cause im scared that you’ll get angry. i also dont want you to think that it’s your fault. i want you to know that i am not blaming you for the anxiety i feel, but rather i want to explain that it affected me. i want to explain that because i dont want to get distant out of nowhere without telling you the reason. as much as i want to just not tell you this, i feel like i’d be lying to you. the more i try keeping it in all because im scared of losing you once i get honest, i’ll end up getting consumed by it even more and the way i see you gets distorted. i don’t want to let myself end up only seeing you as someone who makes me anxious.
im gonna make it clear again that it was my past that influenced me to be way too sensitive to it, and the amount of trust i had for you made it affect more than it should've only had. im still trying to figure out what i should change so that i wouldn't get too hurt every time i interact with you, but so far i have only thought of not expecting anything from you and not getting too close nalang. cause if i do that, i wouldn't get hurt over the smallest things, pero yun nga lang, i wouldn't be able to love you to no limits cause that will involve me getting in a vulnerable state.
that’s the only way that i can think of right now where in i can still stay with you without putting me back in a state where i’d be too easily triggered at the same time, but i won’t proceed with that decision if me behaving that way would start affecting you instead. im not gonna ask you to adjust to that if you're not comfortable with it, but tell me what you want me to do or not to do. i dont need an immediate answer if you need time to think. but if you've got questions regarding this, you have every right to ask. id rather answer them and clear them up instead of leaving you confused. and i dont want you to make assumptions.
but me deciding to stay or not will still be influenced by how you’re gonna react to this. i really don’t know how else to say everything i’ve said above properly, but i put a lot of thought into that, gathered up a lot of courage, and tried my best to be careful with the words i use. 
i really have no plans on leaving you as of now, but i need to know what you want me to do. if you just need me to leave you alone for a while, then i’m willing to wait. im going to wait if you just need time, and im gonna answer your questions if you need me to clear up things. but please don’t leave me confused for too long here. 
i know that the things i confessed in my previous message wasn’t pleasant to hear and i’m not expecting you to not feel angry or whatever. im gonna accept how you react or feel about it as long as it’s not you rejecting or disliking how i wanted to tell you how i feel, as long as it’s not directed to the act of me trying to communicate. if you didn’t like me being honest, if me just wanting you to hear out what i feel isn’t something you can’t do for me, then i won’t try being honest with you anymore too. you know that i am very uncomfortable spending time with people that will make me feel like i’m not allowed to communicate and make me feel like i should’ve just stayed quiet. if that’s the case, i can’t stay with you.
but i’m really hoping that isn’t the case. i confessed what was bothering me because i hoped that i would be able to fix it with you. i didn’t say those things to make you feel bad or vent out my pain on you. im sorry if that’s how you received it though. but back to what i’m trying to say, i really need to know whether you just need me to leave you alone or if you didn’t like me getting honest before i decide on what i’ll do. i don’t want this to only be about me, i want you to also tell me how you feel so i can adjust for you too. i want you to ask whatever you need to know because i want to make sure that things will be clear.
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yourmotherslastnerve ¡ 10 months
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11*30*23
I saw a woman that did this on a documentary. Who knows what will be of this ..I just want to try it and see how far I go. I'm here in a another state. Trying desperately to find out about myself, who I am and what is next for me. Lord knows when I get this way... I'm feeling anxious.. probably more anxious than I've ever been. My new environment is very much to blame.
I'm not used to having to care of others as much as I am now
I'm not used to not having anyone I can talk to, hang out with, laugh and bug out with and do fun things with when I get the chance. I am learning how to adjust..it's just very lonely.
I'm not used to working just to pay bills. I mean before there was a little bit of pleasure that went into my pain but there's not much of that happening. Every move has to be the responsible one move . Not sure if I'm doing the right thing or just giving up but it's def not what I want to feel like.
I'm not being desired . At least before there were others that made me feel somewhat handsome, sexy, intelligent, irresistible, funny, courageous .. now I'm just ... Just?!
Im not used to loving where I work ...it really makes me feel good I found a company that I can rock with but I also knew that if I stayed too long I wouldn't want to leave. Right now I want to find another job that pays me more but I really want to do what I love
Maybe I'm just not used to this brand of change and self love.. don't know how to interpret it all
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lizzieblabbers ¡ 1 year
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wake me up when september ends . . .
this late is post this post is late (so sabaw) because someone forgot to wake me up,,,
KIDDING
hallo, people of the tumblrland ;)
remember when i said in the previous post that i was in the province again? yes, ya girl came back <3
i always say to my friends (or whoever may be there to listen to my nonstop blabbering) that i feel like im a plant--na it is hard for me to adjust once i've developed my roots somewhere. i can't really explain it right now but you get the point (hopefully). and this one's particularly a huge thing because it's my first time travelling without any adult (as if im not an adult myself) supervision :D
the ride there was fun and exciting, i was relaxed the whole time and the travel time was shorter than i've expected, so i was estastic when we arrived hehe
i stayed there for twenty-one days, and i really cant put into words how relaxed i was there. well, there were some instances when the world has required too much of me. but i would very much like not to focus on those because it would just obscure how happy i was with this vacation.
looking back now, i think that in a way, it has changed something within me. i don't know, but know i feel less dependent towards other people (especially my parents; everyone knows im a big babie) and i think it's an achievement because hello??? i think i was still stuck to the seventeen year old me who's supposed to be enjoying her last year free of real-world responsibilities. the pandemic robbed me three years of my life that was intended for me to explore and slowly make my way towards adulthood.
so, yeah. that's a little realization from me.
im not really by myself there, my aunt (whom i call mommy because she's literally one of the mother-like figures i have in my life) is there and her family, i also have the father's side of relatives. i have a lot of people there taking care of me. but there's this certain feeling of independence--that i need to look after myself because no one will do it for me.
i don't know if any of these would make sense because while i am writing this, my lids are slowly becoming droopy, like it was begging for a 15-minute nap.
anyway, i won't really dwell much on my province journey because i promise (PROMISE) will write a separate post, maybe within the week? but i will
the ride back was the most heart-wrenching for me. i was crying for the first thirty minutes (or more, idk anymore) of the ride because i was so sad that i had to leave the little life i had there for twenty-one days. some may say im overreacting, but its twenty-one days!!! i have learned in high school from my mapeh teacher (hi mam cess) that it takes a person twenty-one days to be accustomed to a habit to the point that beyond that, they would already do it unconsciously.
imagine my horror when i was only given a day of rest after a fourteen-hour bus ride before i was forced to be an adult and do errands for the rest of the week?????? like???
anyway though, i pushed through, and now its the fifth day of october and school has started :( vacation is over, but the longing is still here
i guess this is longer than i have expected,,, maybe because i have missed writing in freestyle form :D and also because i think i have a lot to say at the moment as i am avoiding a certain academic task that requires me to think
all in all, september was a happy one. its a huge thing for me to call it happy because ive never felt that happy the whole month. i feel like the universe really gave me my well-deserved break from the world and let me realize things on my own.
i think that's all? i'll blabber more on my vacation post which, hopefully, would be really up this week hehe
babye, world! i'm going back to hiding :D
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kdipshit ¡ 1 year
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Balance
Im Finna go get that bag yuuuhhhhhh, so I got my job back holy shit who else is surprised?? Me lol, they said no stuff ups aloud lol, attendance has to be onnnn, its gonna be super easy though because I’m working with my mum who’s got make sure we get to work on time everyday lol, we get along so much better these days so its going to be FUN I loveeeee it already. Not gonna lie the anxiety and all the thoughts that I had when I first left a month ago, and I was scared I wouldn’t be able to show attendance… but like I’ve been doing, I’ve been showing up for MYSELF every single day, why not this swell? Literally why not? I have my goals in my mind, and I probably won’t even work here that long before I can sit comfortably on journalism and my path going this way. Its just that when I started thinking about it I started to feel it, and it wasn’t a good feeling, but now that we know feelings come from thoughts, and we can choose our thoughts, its become a lot easier to adjust to the perspective. I choose the most positive one every time, its a choice, if I did nothing I would go no where, but stay in my thought trapped brain, instead of living in my beautiful life. I choose to live every time.
I feel much better now that I’ve taken my morning meds lol, thank you for all the problems I didn’t have to face. There Is a version of myself in my head that I haven’t heard for a while, I’m very loud but blunt, cut throat and quick. Very much wanting to come forward, I’m trying to keep positive though.
The sweetness of doing nothing.
When I’m triggered and it turns to irritation and anger, it’s like I’m pacing back and forth in my head wondering why someone would do this harm to me, immediate victim complex. I feel stuck still, unable to move, usually scrolling vigorously is the only thing that can keep me calm and level headed, so I just did that but it’s so irritating holy fuck. I just don’t like being yelled at and i can just see a system going on like my dad yelled at me coz he thought I didn’t do something because when he walked in my mum was doing it AGAIN, and I was like no I did it lol, and then I still get screamed at and made feel like shit and it’s not like my mum would be on my side and say ‘no I’m just doing it again because we’re about to have visitors’ and she’s crazy fkn ODC but whatever. It’s my fault, and now I leave everything for my mum to just do herself apparently, walking around saying ‘ugh I’ll just do it myself’ like what do you mean I’ve been doing the house all morning the house was not a mess when you walked in, you didn’t complain about a messy house you just did what you always do and clean bc your anxious. I’m on the verge of tears bc of this shit holy fuck man, I’ve got a whole ass frog in my throat over some silly ass trigger, it’s so stupid. The feeling I feel when I’m getting attacked by my parents is ummmm….. I don’t know. Lol. It’s like I’m 16 again with no rights lol. I know it’s something so small, but it effects me, but because it effects only me, I should only really be dealing with these issues by myself, so I never let it out towards them and I keep it chill on the outside, but that causes me to freeze. So now I need to figure out a way to deal with it without taking it out on myself and feeling the guilt and anxiety to an extreme, I guess the answer is to write ✍️ I guess the answer for everything lately has been to write, my mum is hoping that by me expressing my feelings and shit thru a blog might help someone else who is feeling so much alone.
I’m happy now, I have a full vape, a clean 50, and WORK tomorrow! I’m grateful I have been more open to phone calls, because that is what I can thank myself for being able to go to work tomorrow, I’m really excited, a lil anxious, maybe it’s just excitement, I’m ready, and I’m so excited for the other things this job is going to give me. As well as coming to the full acceptance of me being single for maybe the rest of my life, I’m excited to see my life in my career, in my study in my work. I’ve been love lead for my entire life, but my version of love is unobtainable, instead I can find ways to give it to myself, since I have the power of the source. I’m ready to get rich, or die trying.
i was so excited… coming back into the music world, to start writing again producing just fan having that feeling of making amazing shit that you really love like, I love that sahit, when I came to the not pad however my rhymes were so whack literally like I was blank. I just gotta keep that ball rolling coz this verse I’m tweaking now is fun good shit cuz, its diff weirdly, and thats all goods coz it sounds gangsta, and I love it.
The version of myself I want to step into, has her routine and positive attitude and goals and is sorted absolutely content and happy with the over flowing of money in my bank account, good coping mechanism and the space to relax and appreciate every single moment and what it ultimately brings me (my manifestations) I am it already, the independence , the growth, the knowledge.
I need balance other wise I get burnt out. By healing I’m hoping to get better and better every day, and I know there’s milestones in healing and those are what I’m trying to accomplish so I can live my most free life. Focus on the journey… not the outcome, okay, so that’s what I’m trying to do right now…… focus on the journey, not the outcome, have faith that the outcome will be the best outcome possible for my journey and I let it go into the universe, while I focus on the journey.
Do I just have to not scratch that itch to check if my ex messaged me? Is that literally all I need to do? Okay I guess :)
I have come to realise I need to balance my material and emotional lives, I’m unhinged, lol, I don’t think I actually am I just felt like that was the right word, so maybe I am right.
I sometimes think if someone else can’t do it for me, I can’t do it for myself either, is that a self worth issue? Or am I scared of being judged for doing something first? That way of thinking wastes so many opportunities and ways of life.
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spade-club ¡ 2 years
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Okay okay so my person is home now after staying over and I feel like talking in weird detail so I'm going to do that on here if thats cool. This one is going to be more of a mixed bag of INTENSELY personal things than the usual cutesy stuff I usually say about them on my other blog bc I'm feeling lots of things today.
Warning for mentions of sex in both a positive and negative connotation also brief but notable death mention
First of all, theres such a strange feeling about allowing myself to be seen as a girl especially in a sexual sense. I'm not used to it and its weirdly comforting? Considering how much I fought against it for a long while there. I mean, I have mixed feelings about it and I wish there was a solution that let me be trans in just the right way for me to be treated more like I'm trans(/nonbinary/whatever) than anything else. Idk if that makes sense, theres just a balance for me I want to find but I think its good that I'm allowing things to go this way now, I'm experimenting with myself and it doesnt feel scary at all. (Well a little embarrassing but I think thats normal) it's just an adjustment to being on the other side of so many things that I've done to others but have never experienced myself. The mlw -> wlm experience sure is something.
They did ask me if I wanted to have sex and I said no because I was worried my trauma would get in the way and what we were doing was already kinda a lot for me. And I will say the way they just said okay, asked if I wanted to keep doing what we were doing and when I wasnt super enthusiastic about that (I said that we could, and I did want to, I just felt a tad awkward and I think they noticed that) they just stopped and we cuddled. I do wish that more could have happened, honestly, especially because we dont see eachother often and I dont know when anything will happen again. But I'm also very content with what has happened because I think I've been in need of a healthy sexual interaction for a long time now and I just havent really been able to catch a break lol (my ex was mostly fine but theres a lot of shit she did that made me so dysphoric and anxious in a way that lingered for a bit too long on my self worth. Not her fault though, just kid things I guess)
I am worried though that I have done something wrong or havent done something I should have and I dont know if they enjoyed it at all. Its hard to tell because they're a bit more of a closed book and I feel awkward asking like "hey, you know the absolutely nothing I did for you while you were doing things for me? Yeah was that like, okay? Did you have fun anyway? What was going through your mind? And also do you hate me? Are you ever planning on speaking to me again or did I already show you I'm too much of a challenge and do you want to move on from me completely and forever? Also sorry I almost killed you that one time, also that other time...... I would understand if you want me dead now... do you?" Like, how the fuck do you ask someone any of that??? Idk!!
I also think its notable that I have not done anything sexual with another person in almost three years now. I've only ever been with one person before yesterday. I've only ever KISSED one person before yesterday. So all of this is like, first and second times doing things and its. aAA!! I dont know what im doing at all and I'm so awkward and way too afraid to tell them this but maybe I should so they know where I'm coming from aaaa idk!!!
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lotus-flowerz ¡ 3 years
Note
hello hello I love your writings so far sobs I couldn't help but do an ask myself aa (it's my first ask ever help hwkajd) could I request perhaps gn reader that flinched away from the boys by reflex? (preferably with Diluc, Kaeya and Kazuha but you can add or remove someone if you want to!) like they were hanging out and reader was lost in thoughts and suddenly when they see in the corner of their eyes how the boys raise their arm for smth reader quickly raises their arms above their own head to protect it- how would they react and how would they comfort the reader? I hope it's not too much or if you're uncomfortable with it you can ignore it if you want to whaaaa
AHHH TY IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY WRITING! i actually do this too, some of my old friends would make fun of me for it, so i hope that my writing here is accurate >.<
i also added beidou in here, hope you don't mind, i just had to since she's my favorite character <3
TW!! FLINCHING, ANXIETY, PAST TRAUMA, MENTION OF DEATH AND INJURIES
SLIGHT INAZUMA ARCHON QUEST SPOILERS
KAEYA BACKSTORY SPOILERS
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The cherry blossoms fell silently from the trees under which you and Kazuha were sitting. Those had remained unchanged since you and Kazuha were children. The beauty of the pink blossoms falling towards the green earth without a care.
It had remained the same through the vision hunt decree, through the war, through watching Tomo get killed by the shogun, through both of you getting injured during said fight. Kazuha's hand was burnt from Tomo's vision, and your body had a large scar running from your knee to the side of your neck from a stray bolt of lighting from Tomo's divine punishment. If not for Kazuha's determination to not lose another friend and Beidou and her crew caring for you, you would be dead.
These days, although you and Kazuha both carried the same trauma, he seemed to be doing leaps and bounds better than you were. Your eyes flitted to Kazuha, who was writing poetry. The only sound that could be heard was his pen gliding across the paper, filling it with his eloquent words that always seemed to flow so smoothly.
You were deep in thought, when out of the corner of your eye you spotted something coming towards your face. Instinctively, your hands flew out to shield yourself, leaving a very confused Kazuha, who was only scratching his head, looking at you with concern in his eyes.
"Dove.. did you think I was going to hurt you?"
You slowly lowered your arms, guilt washing over you.
"No! It's just- sometimes, when movements are too sudden.. I.. you know, I try to protect myself because uh.."
His eyes drifted to your scar, then looked up at your face, only to find it tilted to the ground. He put a finger under your chin, bringing your eyes up to meet his, then kissing your forehead.
One hand snaked around your waist while the other traced lightly over your scar, sending shivers down your spine. You wrapped your arms around him as well, putting a little of your weight onto him.
He kissed your lips, squeezing you tight against him.
"I'll never let anyone hurt you again. I promise."
"Kazuha, it's not-"
"I know it's not my fault. And I know I couldn't have prevented it. But I promise you, you're safe now."
He brought his hand up to cradle the back of your head as you buried your face in the crook of his neck.
"Thank you." you said, squeezing him a little tighter.
"No need to thank me. I love you, Y/n."
"I love you too, Kazuha."
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You had been a part of Beidou's crew for just over a year now, after meeting her in the wharf of Liyue harbor after finally finding the courage to leave your abusive and toxic partner. You didn't have a place to stay and you were clearly distraught, so when she asked if you were okay and you immediately began to cry, she offered you to come on her ship. You trusted her, since she was the well-known captain of the Crux. After you had explained your situation, she offered you to join her crew. You agreed, and began dating her about six months after joining the Crux.
Because you had been aboard the Alcor for a year, you knew the crew was loud and prone to get drunk. You had never liked to drink, preferring to quietly sip a small glass of dandelion wine while sitting next to Beidou while she drank a few beers and talked with her crew.
It was now the one year anniversary of when you had left Liyue Harbor, and conveniently, the Alcor was anchored there for a bit for a supplies run, imports drop off, and exports pickup. While out and about with Beidou, you had seen your ex in the wharf. They were about to come and talk to you, when you had pointed them out to Beidou. Beidou had slipped her arm around your waist, glaring at your ex, who glared back and turned heel to walk away.
Now, you sipped your wine beside Beidou, deep in thought. The loud atmosphere wasn't helping your anxieties, and you couldn't get your ex's glare out of your head. You didn't even realize you were completely zoned out until Beidou raised her arm to sling it around your shoulders, after she noticed you were zoned out.
Your arms flew up to shield yourself, and you spilt wine all over the both of you. The cup clattered to the floor, but luckily no one else noticed what just happened.
Beidou's face dropped and she quickly picked up the cup, setting it back down on the table.
"Men!" she called out. "Y/n and I are turning in early tonight! Make sure you scallywags have this cleaned up by the morning!"
The crew cheered their goodnights, raising their beers to their captain and her first mate. Beidou smiled, slipped an arm around your waist, and led you back to your guys' shared quarters.
"Alright doll, what happened just now?"
She closed the door behind her and sat on the bed next to you, looking at you with a certain softness that made you melt.
"I'm.. I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my ex, and how we saw them earlier, and I couldn't get their glare out of my head.. and I left them exactly a year ago.. I don't know why I flinched away from yo-"
Beidou cut you off by taking both of your hands into hers.
"Y/n, don't say sorry! You know, your ex wouldn't stand a chance against even my weakest crew member. They will never hurt you again."
"I don't doubt that for a second," you said, a small smile growing on your face, "Thank you for taking me in, Beidou."
"No, the pleasure is all mine. I couldn't ask for a better first mate. You're safe now, okay?" she smiled, squeezing your hands.
You looked into her eyes for a moment before throwing your arms around her. She squeezed you back, kissing your head.
"C'mon, let's shower and get this wine off of us." she giggled.
You laughed. "Yeah, let's."
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Kaeya had told you his backstory, but you never mentioned yours. You just weren't ready to talk about it. Your parents had never been great, you always walked on eggshells around everyone, and everyone was all too rough with you, emotionally and physically.
You had met Kaeya in the tavern one night, while trying to drink away what you were feeling. Kaeya had noticed how obliterated you were and let Diluc know he was taking you to stay at the Knights Headquarters, and would keep an eye on you. The rest was history, and now you and Kaeya had been dating for a little over a year.
Kaeya had told you his backstory on Monday. That same day later on, you had a run in with your parents at Blanche's, where they had yelled at you for deciding to become a Knight, and proceeded to pick you apart from your very core.
In turn, you had been drinking a little more than usual for the entire week. You seemed more withdrawn and just not fully there. And it all came to a head when you were laying in bed next to Kaeya.
He went to put his arm over you, a loving gesture, but your arms came up on instinct to shield yourself. He sighed loudly.
"You're scared of me."
"Oh Archons- I didn't mean to- no, I swear it isn't-"
"You've been acting all angry and cold ever since I told you about my roots. I thought you would be the one who didn't leave me after I told them."
"No, Kaeya- please, just let me explain!"
"I'm listening."
You began to hesitantly tell him about your parents. His face grew angrier and angrier every time you told him another thing your parents had done to you.
"I'll kill them. I had no idea that that happened though. I'm sorry for assuming."
"It's alright, Kaeya. I didn't even consider that you might think I was acting weird because of where your confession."
"I swear they'll never get near you again, alright? You're safe now. It's alright."
He pulled you into him, wrapping you up in his strong arms and putting his legs over yours, making you feel protected and safe.
"No one will hurt you, not on my watch. I love you, Y/n."
"I love you too, Kaeya. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."
"No need for apologies, you were gonna tell me when you were ready. Now let's get some sleep, that dandelion wine I downed earlier is starting to get to me."
You giggled, burying your head further into his chest.
"Alright. Goodnight, Kaeya."
"Night, prince/ess."
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You and Diluc had been dating for a few months now, you had met when he had needed to hire a new bartender, and you volunteered your mixing skills to the Angel's Share. You had caught his eye immediately, and he had asked you out on a date soon after you began your work there.
Your ex wasn't a kind person, to say the least, so you had been hesitant to say yes. You assured Diluc that this was just because your ex was unkind to you, but you had never mentioned physical harm. You hadn't wanted to worry him.
You were sitting on the couch with Diluc, his arm slung over your shoulders while you stared into the crackling flames of the fire burning before you. Diluc wasn't paying attention, as he was reading a book in his free hand.
He raised his arm up, attempting to adjust to a more comfortable position, but you misread this. Your arms were shielding your face in an instant, and Diluc was looking at you with a shocked and concerned face that quickly morphed to anger.
"I'm going to kill him." he growled/
You lowered your arms and looked down, avoiding looking him in the eye.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
"Did he hit you??"
"I, um, didn't want to worry you."
"Barbatos.. and this domestic abuser is just, what, roaming around Mondstat? No punishment for the pain he put you through?"
"I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want him to come and hurt me. I also didn't want to cause any trouble."
Diluc rubbed a hand over his face, before wrapping you in a hug.
"You're safe here, alright? I will never lay a hand on you to hurt you. I won't let anyone else hurt you either, okay?"
"Thank you.." your eyes welled up with tears, "I thought you would be upset that I didn't tell you."
"No, never. It's a hard thing to talk about. If you'd like, I have connections. We can have him arrested."
"I don't want to cause trouble.."
"You won't. He won't be able to hurt anyone else this way. But we can discuss this later. Would you care for a cup of tea?"
"That'd be nice. Thanks, Diluc."
"You're welcome, angel. Tell me if anyone hurts you again, alright? I'll protect you."
"Will do. I love you."
"I love you too."
1K notes ¡ View notes
halfmoondaze ¡ 3 years
Text
Encounters With Love
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I can’t tell when this all started; all I know was that right now, the air between me and my best friend felt different.
Me and Jack have been friends since we met in middle school, and I’ve always known that he was going to find a way to get his big break as a rapper. And now, Jack got his big break as his song “What’s Poppin” became viral off Tik Tok and made him one of rap’s breakout stars of 2020. To say I was proud of him was an understatement.  
Even though it seemed that right now he was on top of the world, he never let the fame get to him and kept his promise of keeping me close to him. I love him dearly as a friend, but as his music become more and more recognized, his popularity skyrocketed. Which meant that now I had to share him with everyone else including a bunch of girls. They were breathtaking there was no denying about it, but it hurt because for the longest time I had feelings for him but was too shy to act on it.
The place was buzzing as everyone was having a good time either chatting, dancing around, or taking advantage of the free booze.
Your eyes spotted Jack who was standing across the room with a drink in his hand as he was laughing along something funny being said by one of the friends he was hanging out with.
Once he spotted you, he excused himself to the small crowd and walked over to you with cockiest smirk on his face.
“Look who decided to show up”
“Well, I didn’t want you to miss me too much”
He went for a hug and for a few moments you felt chills down your spine until you pulled away.
“I’m glad you’re here”
You were currently hanging out with some friends that also showed up to the party, and now and then you would notice Jack checking on you.
As the night progressed, you and your friends were dancing and getting lost in the rhythm, as you were feeling more loosen up from doing those rounds of shots earlier.
You glanced quickly at Jack direction who was now standing by the stairs, as he was giving all his attention to a beautiful brunette lady that had her hands all over him. You were taken back and wished you never had to see that with your own eyes, but as you attempted to quickly walk away from your spot but failed miserably as you stumble onto the floor. You didn’t even have a chance to react to what had just happened because as you looked up Jack was already on the floor helping you out.
“Ok I think you had enough drinks for the night” he joked as he helped you up.
“Oh, Jack, hi” you giggling as you were already drunk.
“Hi”
“What do you say if we go sit by the stairs” he said trying to get you to stay still.
“Yea that sounds-“
Before you could manage to finish that sentence, you realized you had vomited all over Jack’s shoes.
The following events after that, were a blur. But Jack left the party early with you by his side.
As he drove you home, you suddenly felt this wave of guilt hitting you.
“I’m sorry I ruined your night”
“What makes you think that?”
“You obviously had plans to hook up with that brunette woman”
“Nah, if im honest I was just trying to let her down easy the whole night”
“Why is that?”
“I don’t know I guess Im just into someone else”
Once he pulled into your driveway, he carried you inside and lay you down in your bed. As he was tucking you, you started talking again.
“You did really good out there, cuz everyone just loves you so”
“Is that so?” he laughed as he tucked you to bed.
“Of course, but I love you more. In fact, I’ve loved you since we were in middle school, but I guess you never liked me back but who could’ve blame you? Just look at you, I’ll just keep it to myself and love you in secret” you said before dozing off.
Jack was out of words.
The next day you woke up in your bed with the worst headache. As you tried to adjust to the sun rays peaking through your blinds, you noticed you were in your bedroom dressed in one of your baggy shirts.
In that moment Jack came through your door.
“Hey sleepyhead, someone had too much fun last night”
“Ugh, don’t remind me of that”
“Oh, there’s a lot of things, In fact I faintly remember you recalling being in love with me since middle school”
As he said that you couldn’t help but begin to stutter and you tried to come up with excuses for what happened last night. But he was quick to shut you up by kissing you.
Once you pulled away after a few seconds Jack spoke:
“So, should I take you out sometime?”
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xtrafluffyteddy ¡ 2 years
Text
Anyway, I love you
Pairing: Eddie munson x reader
Mentions: pining, singing, head over heels for Eddie munson, sappy, fluff fluff fluff
i know Eddie wouldn’t like this music but I feel he’d wanna support you no matter what
Proof reading is for weenies
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You had been working on this song for months all of its words evading you as you tried to figure out how you’d tell Eddie Munson just how much you love him. You were never good at feelings or words always settling for small acts of service.
“You okay sweetheart” Eddie whispered in your ear as he wrapped his arms around you from behind in the backstage room “yeah honey I’m fine just nerves is all, happens before every show” you were a semi famous singer playing shows all over Indiana it was hard rock or metal but more soft guitar and airy vocals. Eddie went to every one of your shows even if the music wasn’t his cup of tea always there front row cheering you on.
“Looks like that’s your cue sweetheart I’ll be right up front like always” he leans down pressing a soft kiss to your lips giving you a squeeze as he walks out into the small venue.
You pick up your lovely acoustic guitar smiling at the Polaroid of Eddie clipped to the neck. You take a deep breath before walking through the curtains smiling as fans cheered and chanted your name. You take a seat adjusting so the guitar sat comfortably against your body. “Ahem” you began “this is uh- this is something I’ve been writing for what seems like years now this is for my beloved Eddie” you felt your face heat up as Eddie sent you a lovesick smile.
I've had time to write a book
About the way you act and look
But I haven't got a paragraph
You looked into Eddie’s gorgeous brown eyes memories of when you two first met filling your mind “oh shit sorry” you rambled as you quickly picked up your sheet music “I wasn’t looking where I was going I’m sorry I’m sorry it’s just if I’m late to Mr.O’wearys class again I’ll get a detention” you kept rambling before a ringed hand reaches out helping you pick up “I get it O’Wearys always been a hard ass” you look up only to meet the most gorgeous brown eyes you had ever seen “h-h-hi I’m-“ you introduce yourself “Eddie” the metal head said from there it was a destined to be suddenly your back on stage with the hot spotlights and the dancing crowd.
Words are always getting in my way
Anyway, I love you
That's all I have to tell you
That's all I've got to say
You stood up walking towards the edge of the stage deciding to sit there so you could be as close to Eddie as possible. You continue playing fingers caressing each note as another memory passed in front of your mind “wow I didn’t know you played” Eddie pointed out seeing you practicing your guitar “im a bit a musician myself you know” he said toying with your lucky pick you had stored in your case “I know Ed’s I’ve seen your show before down at the hideout on Tuesdays right?” He looked at you surprised “you’ve seen us?” He questioned “well yeah those five drunks can’t have all the fun”
And now, I'd like to make a speech
About the love that touches each
But stumbling, I would make you laugh
“Hey Eds” you mumble after a smoke sesh in his room flipping through one of his metal magazines “you think-“ you take another hit “you think crabs think fish are flying?” He just looked at you with wide eyes really pondering what you asked before bursting out laughing. It was music to your ears hearing him laugh.
I feel as though my tongue were made of clay
Anyway, I love you
That's all I have to tell you
“Eddie I-“ you nervously began sweat building up on the back of your neck as you stood in his room. You began picking at your nails “what’s up sweetheart” Eddie questioned sitting up to look at you. Sweetheart, sweetheart, sweetheart you loved the way it rolled of his tongue, you loved the way he only called you that. “Eddie I think- I think I’ve fallen for you” he blinks rapidly staying silent causing you to start regretting telling him “forget it forget it it was silly I’m sorry I’ll go” you quickly to turn ready to leave when Eddie grabs your hand “say it again” he mumbles “what?” “Say it again” “I’ve fallen for you Eddie” and with that your pulled down onto the bed and into his arms “glad you felt the same way” he whispers as you two share a tender kiss.
You lean in close enough to touch Eddie’s nose with yours as you continue playing singing softly to only him the crowd disappearing from around you two.
I'm not a girl of poetry
Music isn't one with me
It runs from me
It runs from me
You had begun writing this song when Eddie told you he loved you and you were to terrified to say it back. You could tell it hurt eddie when you didn’t but he had assured you that it was okay that you could take your time.
And I tried to write a symphony
But I lost the melody
Alas I only finished half
And finish I suppose I never may
Eddie had watched you write this always wondering just what you were up to late at night when he would see the lights on in your trailer. “What’re you up to sweetheart” he whispered sitting in your bed wearing some pajamas he kept on your room “writing a love note for Steve “the hair” Harrington” you joked putting away the sheet music before getting up sitting yourself on his lap “You’ll see in due time honey” you leaned down pressing a soft kiss to his crinkled nose. You gazed into Eddie’s eyes a lovesick smile spreading on your face as the crowd watched with soft smiles seeing you two share such a tender moment
Anyway, I love you
That's all I have to tell you
That's all I've got to say
That's all I've got to say
You finished playing handing your guitar to one of the stage crew as Eddie scoops you up in his arms twirling you around much to the delight of the crowd and you. “I love you so much Eddie Munson” you whispered laying your forehead against his “JUST KISS ALL READY YOU KIDS” someone shouted from the back as the crowd chanted kiss “guess we gotta givem what they want honey” you smiled leaning in “guess we do” he replied as you two shared a passionate kiss spotlight on the both of you.
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meetmymouth ¡ 3 years
Note
ooh I think #7 and #17 from the blurb list would fit very well together! if you want!
THANK YOU LINDS <3<3
prompt list here, send a number!!
#7 If we both want to fit, we’ll have to cuddle
#17 Sleeping in the same bed for the first time
THIS IS 3K IM SORRY I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF SO PLEASE REBLOG LMAOOOOOO!!!!!
"This is my room," comes a gruff voice behind you as you keep looking out the window, taking in the greenery and the beautiful ocean.
See, you knew he would be here.
You knew, because Harry and Mitch were attached at the hip, and you didn't mind. You didn't mind seeing your ex every time you were invited to hang out with MitchandSarah & co, except when said ex decided to be an evil arsehole.
Perhaps, calling him an "ex" was weird, seeing how your time alone only consisted of you both getting high, mostly naked as he whispered the filthiest things in your ear and promised to make you feel good, be the best you've ever had. Other than that, though, he was an insufferable bastard. Since you never hung out with the man without your friends around–getting rat-arsed and high... and the activities that followed aside–, you didn't know if he was always this annoying.
He seemed to be getting along just fine with the others, especially Sarah and the other girls, so you had no problems scratching off the "women hater" off your list. And you can't ever recall him being this insufferable while you both were fucking which was, in his case, miserable. So, it was definitely annoying. You weren't that interested in him to think that he was being mean because he was secretly in love with you. That was a myth, a pathetic myth, wasn't it? No, you wouldn't steep that low. He was just an arse, full stop.
You turn around with an eye-roll, and within seeing his face, you nearly clench your fists like a ten-year-old. "Do you live here?" You ask, hoping the boring expression on your face is also detectable in your tone.
It's certainly not a surprise when Harry scoffs.
"I don't, but I picked this room first. Since, you know," he looks around, and walks further into the room, finally stopping at the feet of the bed. "You were late. As per."
"Oh fuck off. This isn't summer camp. Besides, I don't see any of your shit around. The room was empty when I arrived."
"If you bothered to look inside the wardrobe..."
Seriously, you find yourself thinking, how the fuck did you ever end up with this man. Naked.
There's a commotion downstairs, so you both turn to the door, but much to your dismay, there's no one coming to check up on you and hopefully, save you from Harry Styles' pathetic gob.
You turn towards the window again, eyes squinting briefly at the last bits of sunshine that's glinting from between the branches.
"Well. You shouldn't have left then. You weren't here when I arrived."
Harry shakes his head, and you swear you can see his nostrils flaring if you look carefully. Though, you just watch him with a smug smile on your face as he walks to the wardrobe and pulls open the white doors. True to his word, his clothes are there, perfectly folded, and for a moment you feel a pang of guilt before you look back up at his face and see the furrowed eyebrows.
"See. My clothes. I'm sure Sarah will sort it out for you, find you another room or summat."
"There's only three bedrooms. Can't sleep with a pregnant woman and her boyfriend, can I?"
"What about Rachel and David? Aren't you best friend's with her?"
"Harry, you're ridiculous. Just–" you wipe the sweat off of your forehead, feeling yourself grow hotter and hotter each passing minute. "–just sleep on the sofa. This is my first vacation this year. You go on holidays every week or so. Let us commoners have this."
"Oh, please. Didn't you have a girls weekend getaway or whatever the fuck in Soho Farmhouse two weeks ago?"
You can't help the scoff that leaves your mouth, and a raised eyebrow follows. "How do you know about that?"
"Because," he rolls his eyes, and slams the wardrobe shut. "You post seven hundred stories every day."
"You're a stalker."
"You sleep on the sofa."
You smirk, noticing how he avoided your previous statement.
To be fair, you hated posting on your story. Though, knowing Harry followed you on Instagram made posting on there fun, and seeing his username on the list of who watched your stories pop up at the very top every single time whenever you posted a story almost made you let out a mingy little laugh and rub your hands together, and scream "gotcha!".
"I won't."
"You're getting on my nerves."
"What a coincidence," you ignore the stare he's sending your way and walk towards your carry on, and start taking the contents out one by one, laying everything on the bed.
He watches with a scowl on his face, arms crossed across his chest, and a satisfied smile paints your features as you take out the toiletries bag next.
"Are you seriously unpacking right now?" Harry cranes his neck so he can see better. He looks ridiculous, standing in the middle of the room with arms crossed, but you refrain from saying anything.
In fact, you don't even answer him. Perhaps, you find yourself thinking, it was silly to unpack your underwear first. It wasn't as if you brought super "sexy" shit or lace everything. You can definitely feel his gaze watching your every movement as you take everything out carefully and place them on top of each other. With most of your underwear in hand, you get on one knee in front of the bedside table and open the drawer, placing everything inside and it's surprising how he hasn't claimed the bedside table yet.
"Look," he sighs. "I'll talk to Sarah, maybe you can sleep with her and Mitch–"
"–don't be stupid we're not making them sleep with other people because you can't be a gentleman and sleep on the sofa."
"Oh for fuck's sake," he growls, and you finally look at him, eyebrows raised in hopes of making him feel as stupid as he sounds right now. Unfortunately, though, he continues, "Okay, damn it, I'll sleep on the floor."
Fool.
"Common sense, Harry. Always pick sofa. No matter what."
"Were you born to make my life a living hell?"
"Look," you sit on the bed, and look around. "This is boring me to death. I'm sleeping on the bed. If you shut your gob, you can sleep with me on the bed."
Harry lets out an obnoxious laugh. "Just admit I was here first and you didn't bother checking the–"
"Yes, I didn't and what about it? I'm here now, aren't I? I'm on the bed, babes. Anyway," you get on your feet, and with one last look at him, you start walking towards the door. "I'll see you in a bit. I guess."
You both manage to avoid each other as much as you can throughout the day, and really, it wasn't that hard considering the good company of your friends, good food and good alcohol. You mainly helped Sarah and Rachel in the kitchen as the men lounged on the sun loungers, Mitch handling the grill and David helping you guys with the drinks that came in and out of the house pretty quickly with the way you lot consumed them like water.
You spend the night eating, laughing and drinking, sometimes singing along to whatever song played on David's fancy Bluetooth speaker, and everyone begins ushering inside with full bellies and most of them–except the very pregnant Sarah–with a tipsy smile on their faces.
You leave before Harry though, leaving him smoking his last cigarette by the pool while you run up the stairs and into the room, closing the door behind you. You quickly get rid of the romper and get your favourite pyjamas on, eyes searching for the orange makeup bag so you can take off the remaining makeup before bed. You knew it was silly not to do your night routine, but you still zip the bag closed with a sad expression on your face, not wanting to see your toner and night cream any more than you needed to as you throw it on the floor next to your bags. It's pathetic really, how determined you are to get in the bed before Harry can that you forego your whole routine and stick to some cotton pads. Though, plugging your charger and getting between the cool sheets make you forget all about it as you let out a sigh, and unlock your phone to do your nightly scroll before falling asleep.
As you double tap on a selfie, the door opens, and you hear him scoff, again. You keep scrolling though, and try to sneak a few glances at him as he makes a beeline for the wardrobe, and to your surprise, begins to undress. You try to stay calm, and not to think about how domestic this whole thing seems; being in the same room as him as he gets ready for bed.
Right, getting ready for bed.
You keep your eyes on your phone as his clothes hit the floor one by one, and when you look up briefly, he's got a pair of joggers on, and he's throwing the clothes he had on in the wardrobe.
He turns around, and find your gaze, and he rolls his eyes.
"I knew you'd be in bed, here, as soon as I heard someone running. Forgot you were a literal five-year-old," he mutters under his breath, loud enough so you can still hear him. "I'm not sleeping on the sofa."
"I love how you're basically arguing with yourself."
"Like I said, I'm not sleeping on the sofa. I didn't come all the way to sleep on a bloody sofa."
"Suit yourself. I guess we're sharing. Unless," you lock your phone, and place it on the bedside table. "You want to share," you shrug, adjusting your pillow and sigh at the cool fabric against your hot cheeks.
You can feel him thinking, the wheels turning in his head, and you finally hear the floorboards creek underneath his feet as he walks closer to the bed, and pushes the sheets off of you. The whole thing.
You blink in surprise. "Stop it, dude! What the fuck."
"I'm getting in! Fuck's sake, be quiet."
"You did that just to annoy me."
You're both quiet for a minute, Harry taking his rings off and then comes his socks, and he finally copies you, laying on his back on the bed. He covers the both of you, though you know it's not intentional since he couldn't do it without covering his own body with the duvet, and then he lets out a strangled sigh.
"The bed's too small."
"Are you calling me fat?"
"What?" He turns his face to you, and perhaps it's the first time he's looking at you– really looking.
His brows are furrowed, and lips turned downwards in a pout.
"I'm taking the piss, Harry. I know you're not calling me fat."
"Good," he says, though his voice isn't exactly soft. "I wouldn't."
"Good."
Silence.
It's unbearable.
Despite the hot weather, you feel yourself shiver, and you wish you were the only one in bed so you could do the whole burrito technique with the duvet. Alas... you stay where you are. You both do.
A dog barks in the distance, the high-pitched bark coming through the open window, and you can feel Harry breathing too fast beside you. You want to shout at him, tell him to fuck off and... not breathe too fast, though it sounds a bit too rude even for you, so you stay silent and wait for the dog to pipe the fuck down.
You try to turn on your side, because you could never see yourself fall asleep laying on your back like a vampire, but you almost fall, not anticipating the tiny space you've got going on. It's bad, and you know you're not going to get a good sleep. So, you find yourself contemplating about getting up and sleeping on the sofa because honestly, fuck him.
Harry shuffles next to you, presumably trying to find a good position to sleep in himself, but he lets out a groan and it startles you.
"What's wrong with you!"
"The bed's too fucking small."
"We've established that."
He sniffs, hands clenching the sheets around his body. "I don't sleep on my back. My back hurts."
You don't say anything, hoping for him to just get up and leave, go sleep on the sofa. He doesn't, though. It's another fifteen minutes before you let out another sigh, trying to get comfortable on the bed, and Harry copies you. You both turn on your sides, facing each other and Harry groans when your knee makes contact with his thigh, making you cringe in embarrassment. A quiet sorry leaves your mouth and he shakes his head, then turns the other way, facing the door.
"Fuck," he spits after a minute. "If we both want to fit, we'll have to cuddle."
"Cuddle? Fuck no."
"Just," he turns to you again, but the bed is too small for you both so his knees touch yours. "Just come closer. Either that, or go sleep on the sofa."
"Why don't you–"
"You're so stubborn! Come closer, I won't eat you or fall in love with you. Fuck."
You groan, but oblige for some reason, feeling your heart beginning to beat faster for some ridiculous reason.
It's been a long time, you find yourself trying to convince your heart. It's been a long, long time since you've been this close to a human being. Too long since you've cuddled with someone, so obviously you were going to feel a little excited, and weird. Yes, definitely weird.
You get closer and he lifts up his arm, you both sharing a look before you roll your eyes and place your hand on his wrist, placing it on your hip. He's quiet, eyes searching yours, and the crease between his brows are gone, and you want to laugh, because who knew it only took your skin against his to wipe that stupid grimace off of his face.
"I still think you're annoying," Harry mumbles, clearly sleepy. His hold on your hip becomes tighter as his thumb strokes your skin over the fabric.
"I know. Just shut up and sleep."
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