#yay nothing matters anymore XD

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

If outsiders interfering with the islands in Poptropica effect the time lines, then why do people in the fame freely travel around and interact with each other? Don't they care that they're effecting multiple time lines?

Everyone in Poptropica shares the same brain cell, duh!

Nah in reality it's because 90% of Poptropicans don't understand the inner workings of their world.

If they did, they would be crying and screaming instead of exploring collecting and competing.

Before the Protectors made sure the islands didn't interact/weren't aware of each other, and they didn't allow anyone to leave their island in order to make sure the timeline remained intact.

But after they discovered there were an infinite amount of timelines and whatnot, Jonas (now the leader) decided:

Screw it! It's a free-for-all now! Anyone in Poptropica can leave their island and the islands can now interact with each other, nothing matters anymore, and Jonas slowly fell into nihilism /hj

Good thing for Amelia. How else would she get her imported tea?

[nexyra]

RWBY's Love Language - Part 2

Hello friend ! I'm back at it with a second part and whatever character I can think of ! (Among which best boy Oscar because he deserves it, and also more adults)

Let's go !

***

Oscar Pine

So ! While I love Oscar with my whole heart, honestly guessing his Love Language is no easy feat. One thing for sure : touch isn't is thing even if it's how everyone else chose to communicate their love.

I saw a post a while back detailing how Oscar is always putting his hands up as a barrier when he's scared or uncomfortable and that makes me cry a little instead but it's true TT. Anyway...

In the latest volumes we've got quite a bit of comforting Oscar-talks but I have to wonder how much of that is due to Ozpin's influence really. As a result I've decided to settle on... Acts of Service or Quality Time ! This is based on a few details : when people are upset with him in one shape or form, Oscar was always very eager to prove himself useful, give some aspect of concrete help (such as cooking a Casserole, ringing any bell ?). Plus I imagine that's the exact brand of help his Aunt would have needed most on a farm. Added to that, he always seems fairly happy to be included, be with the others no matter what's going on. Training ? Yay ! A movie with Jaune & Weiss ? Smiling puppy look. Fancy party ? Shenanigans together ! So yea, I love seeing my boy loved and hugged but please everyone settle for the loving he's most comfortable with <3

“She made a choice! A choice to put others before herself! So do I.”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I thought you guys would appreciate a hot meal after... spending all day looking for me, apparently.”

“No, it's okay. These past few days, I've been scared of the same things you were. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be... me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Ozpin

For our favorite immortal wizard aka not quite dead Headmaster... I think the answer is rather obvious. When you're so careful with your words, but also so fiercely devoted to humanity, Words of Affirmation is a must. Ozpin constantly does his best to calm, to reassure. He's good at controlling the conversation and getting people where he wants... Except he more often than not use it to make them think and help them reach an healing ore motivating conclusion. This man is so insisten on giving and cultivating hope, so painfully aware of just how much words can change... There's no doubt in my mind that it's through these very same words that he tries to fight the darkness in others' mind, even when they don't want to let themselves be persuaded. And with some help from the farmboi, Ozpin is gaining in honesty and earnestness. And that can only help in giving comfort.

But to be honest... If you offer him a hug I doubt he'd refuse, and he definitely deserves one. Also therapy. For Oscar too. Everyone in therapy 2k21.

“Ruby. I've made more mistakes than any man, woman, and child on this planet. But at this moment I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them. Do you?”

“It's not every day that friends are able to come together like this. Time has a way of testing our bonds, but it's nights like these that can help keep them stronger than ever. Nights like these are ones we'll never forget.”

“Don't worry, Mr. Arc. Your journey is far from over, and the same might be said for all of you. Unlocking your Semblance isn't the end. It can still grow and evolve. Providing you are willing to put in the work, who knows what could happen?”

- - - - - - - - - -

Emerald Sustrai

Now here I'm gonna go ahead and say that the way Emerald has been taught to express her love and the way SHE would rather preffered to be loved most likely do not align. At the side of someone like Cinder, and even Mercury who isn't exactly the most emotionally vulnerable person; the only brand of love that gets an easy pass is Acts of Service, and that's probably what Emerald is the most used to. I can go on a mission with you. I can help. We go right back to the "I can be useful" mentality and I'm not sure she's been shown any other way honestly. Let's be real though : if someone offered a hug or some gentle words ? She'd probably pout & fuss but I hardly doubt she'd object.

“I don't care about Salem! But I owe Cinder everything. You want to fight her that bad? Be my guest.”

“I just... Cinder was the only family I ever had. She cared about me, taught me things... But without her here, I don't know if what we're doing--”

“I've been working on my Semblance. I can help. I won't tell anybody.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Pyrrha Nikos

What's with everyone and dedicating their whole love toward just helping their teammates anyway they can ?! Stop ! But any way, you guessed it. I'm pretty sure one of Pyrrha's top way of showing love is Acts of Service, and nothing means quite as much to her as Quality Time. For someone who's been put on a pedestal and has a hard time relating to people; both touch and words can be a bit awkward. But if they're wrapped up neatly in a training session or semblance explanations ? Well that's already a more familiar area. Pyrrha gives her whole to her friends and those she cares about. And in exchange, if anyone can simply... be there and spend time with her... May it be at the ball or simply sitting in the courtyard... I'm sure our girl would be delighted.

“Jaune, you know if you ever need help, you can just ask.”

“I'm constantly surrounded by love and praise; but when you're placed on a pedestal like that for so long, you become separated from the people that put you there in the first place. But thanks to you, I've made friendships that will last a lifetime.”

“I'll do it. If you believe this will help humanity, then I will become your Fall Maiden.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Qrow Branwen

If I say Gift Giving for the corvid, is someone gonna hit me ? Come on it's fun ! Okay, more seriously... I think this kind of love conversation is kind of a necessity for Qrow. With a semblance such as Bad Luck, making everything complicated... Qrow tries to keep his distance from those he cares about. And since he's an emotionally repressed (but caring) asshole on top of it... Well that kinda narrows down his option. You know what DOESN'T put anyone at risk but can still bring smiles on their face ? GIFTS. Shiny things, souvenirs from his missions all over the world to give to 2 smol nieces. Sounds safe right ? That said, as any good emotionally unavailable character in this show, I gotta say Qrow probably has a thing for helping out and making himself useful in relation to Oz, Tai or the rest of the inner circle. So you know what that means *whisper* Acts of Service.

That said ! When it comes to receiving some love back... Qrow probably likes everything he doesn't allow himself to have. Soft touches, loving & comforting words, spending time with a friend without his semblance making everything complicated... We know that's all he wants.

“You idiot. I know you didn't do this.”

“Look, pal, I'm not sure who you are, but you need to leave my niece alone.”

“No one wanted me... I was cursed... I gave my life to you because you gave me a place in this world... I thought I was finally doing some good...”

- - - - - - - - - -

Clover Ebi

And among our newbies (and gone too soon) friends we have Clover ! Clover was a very good contrast to our dusty old crow but also a great help. Kind-hearted, perceptive and honest; he knew just how to put Qrow's self-loathing in his place and push him to give himself some credit. He always had a nice word or a joke for everyone, and visibly the rock of the Ace Ops : an expert a keeping the moral up and the mood companiable. Evidently, Words of Affirmation was his expertise. Had things gone differently, I'm sure we'd have had time for many more earnest and helpful conversations with this teal-eyed fisherman.

“It's a good thing they had someone to look up to and get them through it. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I meant deflect a compliment. Those kids wouldn't be where they are without you. You've had more of an effect on them than you realize.”

“We don't have to fight, friend.”

- - - - - - - - - -

Winter Schnee

And today in the "emotionally unavailable" category we have... Winter Schnee ! TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS PEOPLE ! Just - I would say look at Ruby but even she doesn't talk about her bad vibes... Nor does any of the "Words of Affirmation" peeps. Honestly what's wrong with y'all people ? Anyway Winter cares so much. Is it hidden behind professionalism and a stern *big sister* demeanour ? Sure. But it doesn't negate just how much she loves her closed ones. She's fiercely loyal, and even if she doesn't let her personal feelings get in the way of her duty and doing what needs to be done, no one is allowed to say she doesn't care. Countrary to Weiss, Winter doesn't seem as good nor as aware of the love that exists in simply *being* with people. Rather, she's dutiful and ready to help any way she can when given the chance. You guessed it, yet another Acts of Service kind of love... Maybe I'm doing this wrong XD. I'm on the fence about Words of Affirmation as well. Despite her standoffish looks, Winter has always been very open & reassuring during her discussions with Penny. But she's more stern when it comes to Weiss so I dunno x)

“I don't recall asking about your ranking, I'm asking how you've been. Are you eating properly? Have you taken up any hobbies? Are you making new friends?”

“You've grown up a bit, haven't you? You're not the little girl clinging to the family name anymore.”

“You can't just buy trust like everything else! You have to earn it!”

And that's it for Part 2 ! I might do some other characters if people suggest some but I don't have a pressing need to right now. I have many ideas of songs to apply to various characters however so that's prob what my next posts will consist of (or fun templates)

If anyone has tips to create RWBY gifs or links to download the eps in good quality I'll take it ! Good day everyone !

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE03, Ep1

I’m here! The final season continues from where se02 oddly left, right in the middle of a conversation! XD.

-Tohru’s crushed heart (scarf): Excellent symbolism!

Tohru, burdened with trying to lift the curse of teen & adult sohmas, is now also troubled by trying to help Arisa’s romantic life is sad for akito! Too much for compassionate selfless tohru. Unable to help, protect & erase the pain, tohru crumbles. Freezes. Her white scarf (heart) flies away, gets crushed by cars & becomes dirty. But here comes a boy ( who thinks himself a monster) picks it up, cleans & returns it back. He thinks nothing of his deed. nothing heroic abt saving a scarf, really. But do we need to be heroes to save others? kyo saves tohru by being kyo. Not the zodiac cat & not the menacing monster. Her heart is saved by him, shown much care & returned back. Mind you, the heart (scarf) is not brand new after the delima. It’s not very clean after being crushed, some marks remain, but these are marks of growth!!! you walk away after hardships carrying minor scars of victory. This scene solidify kyo’s role in tohru’s life as an equal companion. Not a heroic prince charming. It is the little things he does that shows who he is. kyo isn’t abt big soft words, he doesn't say the best things. he is a man of action. His care, love & compassion comes so very easily & naturally to him thro actions. This is what yuki meant by saying he’s jealous of kyo. Yuki over thinks his steps & doubt everything before he acts. Kyo acts spontaneously then doubts himself later. He saves the scarf (heart) then tells her directly to buy another one if she feels it’s not clean. He failed to see how this trivial action meant the world to tohru. Tohru smiles lively cuz her heart is back to her.

Why is the scarf scene so important? (aka furuba’s best usage of symbolism yet!)

It symbolizes tohru’s toxic flaw that she must overcome! It represents tohru’s tormented heart over other ppl’s pain with severe neglect to her own problems & issues. Arisa’s love life shouldn’t be tohru’s delima, nor Akito’s complex or Kureno’s or the damned curse. Tohru toxically chooses to bear other burdens’ until they crush her.

Hana can’t come to save tohru from pain each time tohru indulges in it. Tohru must realize her own flaw & grow up beyond this toxic type of kindness. Feel & help others, but don’t use them to escape your pain & don’t indulge in their own struggles & neglect yourself. There is a reason hana’s knowing of tohru’s pain is thro “magical” waves, to symbolize that this can’t become a norm, not real. You can’t depend on magic to grow. I love that!

The white scarf bearing smudges of the tires even after kyo washed it shows that kyo’s love & care can’t magically heal all tohru’s pain. It parallels kyo’s words from se01, ep,24 when he said tohru didn’t heal all his pain, but he feels better simply cuz she stayed by his side. Tohru now is feeling better cuz kyo chose was there for her. Love doesn’t magically heal you, kids! But it sure puts you on the path! Also, this once again adds more depth to the (tohru/kyo) equal give & take dynamics.

This scene deconstruct the image of Tohru represented as an angelic mother throughout 2 seasons. Instead, It paints her as a real flawed girl with much need for growth. Exactly, like how we have learned by now that kyo isn’t a horrible monster nor a prince charming saving the day, but a flawed boy with much need for growth. However, these two push each other forward in a subtle way through daily situations! Excellent writing!!

-Kureno. (aka. who tohru should never become):

The harmful kindness: Kureno is someone who hurts himself & hurt many others (akito, arisa, shigure, & consequently the rest of the zodiacs) by giving the harmful types of kindness to akito, by completely erasing his own needs, desires & living for the sake of someone who would be far better without him. Kureno is who tohru might have become if she selflessly continues fighting solely for the sohma’s sake & trying to break the curse while ignoring her own life. She’ll become as miserable as kureno & the zodiacs will become dependable on her.

The destructive pity: Kureno pities this tormented child (akito) & chooses to stay with her until her tears dry. This pity is destructive cuz it is done while he wishes to be miles away with Arisa & it encourages akito to stay as she is. Look, a child whose mom hates her deserves pity. But an adult woman needs to learn to build relationships based on mutual affection & respect. This talk of pity reminds me of kyo & kagura. Kagura pitied the cat zodiac. The relationship was doomed cuz kyo refuses pity. It doesn’t matter if her pity turned into love later. Kyo doesn’t want that from her or anyone. There is NO equality there. We know tohru came to love kyo for all the times he was there for her & all the times he pushed her to improve, to complain, to want things! she said so in se01, ep, 24. But we also know that young baby tohru pitied the cat when her mom told her the zodiacs story. what if kyo thinks tohru’s affection is pity???? that’s a big NO for him & for every person. I really want tohru to be as far from any kurno’s traits as possible!!!

-Akito, the pitiful woman:

Akito was born a girl, forced to be raised as a boy by her mother’s demands? where is the father?? she was hated by her mother. why? she also hates her mom. (hate your child & they’ll hated you). So, akito is doomed by her mom. Akito tries to prove that she’s loved by the zodiac “she specified the male zodiacs” interesting! we saw how she hates both Isuzu & kisa & doesn’t give a damn abt kagura. This woman, forced to pose as a man, actually desires to be treated as a woman. As for the other zodiacs:

No worries abt hatori leaving cuz he’s 24/7 attending to her health.

Ayame makes tea exclusively for her & hatori.

she thinks Ritsu is too timid to attempt leaving.

Hiro’s a baby, momiji is hated cuz she can’t break him.

Kyo is destined to be locked. but Why she cares abt the cat anyway?? She publicly hates him & feels disgusted by him.

She used to control yuki but can’t anymore.

she uses intimacy to bound those who “can” leave her the most: kurno! & shigure? she sleeps next to shigure in the valentine ep. hatori remarked: don’t let akito catch cold. We saw the sexually charged rage in se02, ep10. So, she isn’t faithful to kureno. They don’t have a relationship. She doesn’t even have a relationship with shigure, either. to her, sex is a tool to tie them both to her?

It is ironic that the person who said she despises woman & accuses Isuzu of seducing hatori is herself seducing others. Except, tragically, kureno isn’t with her for herself, but cuz he pities her. We saw her slapping & embracing him. Next scene; her bare shoulders & his unbuttoned shirt clearly implies they got intimate which is what akito does to feel secure in kureno not leaving her. Kureno is not even interested in her despite submitting to her advances, needs & orders. He does it out of pity. Truly the most tragic form of physical affection: sex for pity. wow... how tragically pitiful is the abusive ruler of the zodiacs who looms over them & demands respect & eternal bonds. How can she find someone who’ll love her for herself, if she doesn’t learn to show good sides of her? Yuki wasn’t loved for who he is in school, but for being the “prince”, he showed his real character & got himself true friends & soon a lover!!!  Kyo, was feared & pitied for turning into a “monster”, but once he showed his kind & harmless self, he got himself true friends & a girl who loves him for his actual personality! Who will love akito for who she is if she only shows a spoiled child, horrible family head or a pitiful woman? What does shigure love in her? he doesn’t seem to pity her nor pamper her much, does he?  perhaps we’ll know more abt the real akito later.

Side notes:

Akito’s mom reminded me of kyo’s dad. Abused children, who are hated by their parents, don’t let go of the hurt easily. they’ll always try to either get their approval, show them they were worthy of their love, or they’re NOTHING like their parents think they are. eg: Kyo’s biological father’s hate has destroyed kyo. Kyo have kazuma & tohru & he still wonder why they love him. It took kyo 17 years to actually promise to call kazuma "dad” one day in se01 finale. You need time to heal the wounds inflected by the ones who should love you the most. Being loved by others doesn’t magically heal you! You need to take few steps forward.

Isuzu is Ren’s clone! finally understanding why the severe hate from akito towards Isuzu. I’ll wait for more Ren/Akito content before analyzing their relationship.

Ren is so sexy. ngl, the scene of the zodiacs touching her belly after she just *conceived* akito is so creepy~ ew! 

Hana picked up tohru first before kyo, cuz this show isn’t exclusive for romantic love as much as it isn’t exclusive for friendship. There is balance. 

Tohru needs her own future, so does Arisa & hana! Learn to accept the limit of what you can do as a friend, tohru.. forever loving furuba for steering away from “friends stay together forever~yay” anime trope! Furuba is abt independent & individual adult life! building your own future! Epic writing!

Forever fascinated by how much the little small ordinary daily life things has really built kyo-tohru love! It feels so real & very uniquely built! Excellent writing!

Arisa is stuck with an adult man trapping himself in the most unnecessary love triangle. Kureno’s cage is self made, no curse. A very sheltered boy/man not living in the real world. Only two options for kureno if he continues this path: he’ll hurt akito, or akito will hurt him. We know the answer from the trailer, don’t we?

Arisa letting go of kuron is growth! Let go & live, girl!

There is a subtle theme of learning to let go in furuba~

Yuki is the biggest kyoru shipper!

Tohru intentionally hitting kyo with scarf’s pon-pon is my fave side of her! intentional flirting shows change from her little girl’s good girl attitude to her own type of a feisty woman! after all, she’s nearly 18!

The way the camera moved when kyo spotted the scarf was so good!

The director is obsessed with flying!! did he work on attack on titans? cuz the Ren-akito flying fight reminded me of Titan Eren strangling Titan Annie in AOT se01 finale! but chibi version! XD. I’m sorry for akito’s pain, but I was distracted by laughing! XD

look, if you plan to dramatize a situation, know your budget & your skills. Obviously, the director knew the scene is badly done, hence, the wide far away, dim lit shot to hide as much as it can. Couldn’t he do without it? let akito strangle her to the ground without flying!

oh well~these over-the-top shots are now a furuba trade mark~ just praying they stick with one weird shot per season.

[sassyduckqueen]

Miraculous: Rise of Anatis 61

So this is officially the first chapter of my season 4. There will be a number of made up akumas in this season including some of the designs I've already released and there will also be the rest of the season 3 akumas I haven't used. I also hope you guys are ready for some lore because I will be diving more into that side of the story throughout this season. I'm very excited for what I have planned for this "season". Anyway, here's Neon Queen who is based on one of my real life friends :D The next chapter will be Kwami Buster! So yay for Mouse!Luka XD Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter Sixty-One: Neon Queen

~Roth Studios~

 "Like why do I have to do a competition again?" XY asked as he sat looking at his agent with a blank expression before he picked up his soda and drank some. He put it back down and yanked his hand from the nail technician who was working on them. He frowned as he glanced at them. His agent sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

 "It's for good publicity," He explained as XY berated the nail technician. "Record sales has gone down since your father's arrest,"

 "And that's my problem how?"

 "We need the world to see you as a good person, far from your father's actions," He stated, making XY give him a look. "Doing a contest for someone to win a VIP experience and a chance to meet you will help with that,"

 "Fine," He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Just make sure whoever wins it isn't boring,"

 "Well, the winner will be random," His agent stated, making him roll his eyes.

 "Whatever," He stated, waving his free hand in a dismissive manner. His agent shook his head before walking out of the room. He took out his mobile and dialled a number.

 "Alec, it's Steve," He stated when the other person answered it. "I need your help in creating a contest to win a VIP experience with XY,"

 ~A few days later at the Arc De Triomphe~

 Anatis sighed as he flicked through his notes about Miracle Queen and the events of the New York attack. It had been about three weeks since Miracle Queen had stuck and going to New York had been a welcome distraction. However, Hawkmoth tried to start WW3 and had overtaken the heroes again. He had managed to keep his cool throughout the whole thing since he had managed to get away before he could be affected but he needed to come up with back up plans in case he ever got compromised again or if any other hero did. Since Miracle Queen, he had started to look into ways to protect himself and Lady Noir from mind controlled again but the events of New York had driven him farther. Prevention was the best way to help the world but he would have to have a back up plan in case he wasn't able to do that, which is why he had added a new code to their original one. Code Red. It was a code he never wanted to add but since he had been mind controlled happened more then once, he had to take precautions for the future. Unlike the other codes that simply told them the situation, Code Red also came with something else. A password to a file on Master Fu's computer. Since heroes day, he had been making videos on how to take down himself and his team should they ever be compromised or turn rogue. He didn't think he would need them but since miracle queen and the new york incident, he had changed his mind. He still hope no one would need to use them but just in case, he or his team got compromised, someone would need access to them. The most obvious person would be Master Fu or Lady Noir but should they be compromised too, someone else would have to take over which is why he intended to have the message sent to Koro. While he didn't trust her, she was the obvious choice if everyone was compromised. Especially since she might be able to break them out of been mind controlled again. Well... Bunnyx might be a good person to send this too as well. If he can work out how to send her messages. He sighed to himself before taking out his yoyo and set it up to film himself, pressing record before he looked into the camera.

 "I'm not sure how to start this video so I'll just get into it," He stated, running his fingers through his hair before he glanced at the video. "If you are watching then a Code Red has occurred and I have been compromise by an akuma.... well, then I need you to fight in my place instead. If you happen to hold a miraculous that can break mind control on a person then I urge you to use that first as what I will say in this video is intended as a last resort... if you can break me out of control then click on the second attachment of this message and put in the passcode Anatis must fall. Capital A, no spaces. This will allow you access to a video I made after heroes day. It details how to neutralize me but even though I came up with it, I can't promise it will work. Your best chance is to break the akuma's control on me, steal my charm when I summon it or even use a recording of my voice to activate it. Once that happens, you can use it to defeat the akuma and cause the cure. The cure can be activated by anyone as long as the words Miraculous Ladybugs is called out. I hope it never comes to anyone seeing this message but I guess it's best to be prepared..."

 He sighed before leaning over to switch off the video.

 "Bug out for now..." He stated, switching it off before grabbing his yoyo and saving it. He typed away on it, using a command to send it to Lady Noir, Master Fu's computer or Koro if he was compromised but hopefully it would never come to that. With that done, he closed his yoyo and stood up before diving off the building and swinging into the city. A few people cheered as he swung by, making him feel better but he still had a lot of things on his mind. Master Fu hadn't told him anything else about the history of the guardians and since Koro turned up, he seemed more closed off then normal. He had asked him about it but he would just shut him down as if it didn't matter. He still had no idea who Su Han was or why Koro left the guardians. Master Fu didn't have the answers but it's not like he could ask Koro. For one, he didn't know her civilian identity, two he hadn't actually seen her since Miracle Queen and finally, he didn't trust her. Part of him felt like he could but he questioned it as she had been in Paris since Hawkmoth had turned up and had done nothing to stop him or to try and help him. There was the whole thing with her and Toutai. He still didn't have answers on that yet either. He hadn't sensed or met with Toutai since that time and Feng wasn't telling him much about it either. Just kept saying it wasn't the right time or some other riddle that was frustrating him. He frowned as he landed on the Liberty's roof before slipping into his room and detransforming. He caught Tikki and put her into her bed before grabbing her a cookie. She smiled tiredly and took it as Luka sat at his computer and opened chrome. He waited for it to load before he began to type.

How to protect myself from mind control

 Results:

 how to recognize gaslighting

how to stop someone from manipulating you

 He sighed before deleting and typing again.

 How to protect myself from been hypnotized 

 Results:

 Learn how to be a magician- video

Ten steps to regain yourself

 He sighed again before typing in a final search.

 How do I protect myself from psychic attacks

 Results:

 Stones and Talismans of Witchcraft

Spells to block Psychics

 Luka hovered the mouse over the first result before clicking on it. He began to read through it as he took in the information. Apparently, different crystals and stones had different properties that can used to help a wearer in certain ways. Like Amber is excellent for protecting one against psychic attacks but also it helps the user connect with it's aura. Given that he seems to have some sort of connection to an ancient mage, he felt like Amber could help him reconnect with the spiritual side and Feng more than he already has. He sighed and looked over at Tikki.

 "Tikki?"

 "Hmm?" She asked, looking up from her cookie.

 "What's your thoughts on crystals and stones?" He asked, making her blink. "Can crystals have a magical abilities?"

 "Of course they can," She smiled, making him blink. "Especially if they've been blessed by a kwami or a spirit. Why?"

 "I'm thinking getting an amber tailment to help protect me from mind control..." He admitted, feeling a little silly now that he said it out loud. "That's stupid right?"

 "No, I don't think it is," She stated, making him look at him. "Magic is real, Luka. It's just not everyone practices it anymore. Besides, I can bless the taisment for you,"

 "You'd do that?" He asked as she flew over and gently hugged his cheek.

 "Of course," She smiled, making him smile back. "You're my friend, Luka and I don't want to see you hurt,"

 "Thank you, Tikki," He smiled, gently holding her in his hands before he yawned. "I think I should go to bed for now... maybe I won't have a nightmare tonight,"

 Tikki frowned a little at his comment. Luka had been having nightmares a lot recently but she couldn't blame him. He had suffered a lot but that's what didn't concern her. At first, they had been nightmares about his stepfather coming back and then Miracle Queen taking over him again or him failing to stop Hawkmoth from destroying the world but in the last week, they had changed. He had started to dream of a sea monster and Paris been flooded. At first, she thought he was having flashbacks of syren but it really didn't make much sense that he would. If that had been the case, why now? Not just that but the sea monster he described sounded nothing like syren but more like the leviathan or Cthulhu. She wasn't sure what he was dreaming off or why but she had to admit, it was scaring her as much as it was scaring Luka. She had hoped it was just a bad dream but seeing Luka jolt awake and scream from his dreams reminded her of when Feng use to do the same. It made her wonder more about his connection to the mage and if something she thought was impossible had actually occurred. She wanted to investigate it further but at the same time, she was afraid of what it might mean if it turned out that way.

 "Tikki?" Luka asked, making her look at him. He had a look of concern on his face. "Are you ok?"

 "Don't worry about me," She smiled, floating up and gently kissing his nose. "Go to bed,"

 "Alright," He nodded before shutting down his computer and changing into his PJs. Once that was done, he climbed into bed and turned off his light, curling up as Tikki floated over and curled up next to him.

 ~A Couple of Days Later~

 Luka took a deep breath as he walked over to the door of a crystal store called Brésilophile. He pushed it open and walked inside, looking around. The woman at the counter looked up and with a tired sigh, addressed him.

 "If you're looking for an akuma charms, I don't have any," She stated, making him frown a little. 

 "Actually... I'm kind of new to... this and I'm looking for something to protect against mind... mental attacks..." He stated nervously as he walked over. She rose an eyebrow. "Um... this might sound crazy but I'm an empath and-"

 "Oh, so you need something to cleanse and protect from negative influences and psychic attacks," She stated, smiling. He bit his lip and nodded. "Well, I highly recommend Amber. It helps balancing emotions, attracting good luck, eliminating fears and clearing the mind. It also dissolves any negative energy and helps to develop patience and wisdom. It is an excellent choice for an empath,"

 "Do you have any bracelets or necklaces made from it?" He asked, making her nod before she grabbed a couple of them. There were different types of bracelets and necklaces but he found himself drawn to a simple pendant that was rough and jagged looking. "Can I buy that one?"

 "Sure," She smiled, putting it through. "You know if you're interested in learning more about the craft, you should go to the Arc en Ciel,"

 "The Arc en Ciel?" He asked, taking out cash to pay for his necklace. "What is that and where is it?"

 "It's an Esoteric Bookstore that has a lot of different books on spiritualism, modern day wicca and the occult," She explained before telling him where he could find it before giving him the small paper bag she had put the necklace in. He took and thanked her before leaving the store. Once outside, he took it out and looked at it. The gem shined a little and he could always feel an energy coming from it. He put it on before walking back to the boat. Tikki poked her head out.

 "Are you gonna go to that bookstore?"

 "I don't know," He admitted, looking down. "This is kind of new and I'm not really into witchcraft..."

 "It might help you understand your gift," She stated, making him think but part of him felt afraid. Maybe it was because of how Issac reacted and called him a witch but the idea of learning about the occult scared him.. "Maybe it might even help you work out your connection to Master Feng,"

 "I'll give it a think," He stated as he walked down the stairs to the Seine. However, his phone buzzed. He took it out and frowned as he saw it was an akuma alert over at the TVi studios. He ran over to the nearly bridge and hid under it. "Well, it looks work calls. Tikki! Spots on!"

 He transformed into Anatis and threw his yoyo, collecting it to a flagpole. He yanked it, pulling himself up onto the building before running across the rooftops and landing on the building opposite the TVi studios. He narrowed his eyes as he saw XY run out of the building, shoving people out of the way. A bright green blast caused the doors to blow off, allowing the akuma to step out. She was one of Hawkmoth's more creative ones by the looks of her. She wore a black one piece that had a bright yellow collar on. Her belt was half neon green and half neon yellow with a neon pink belt buckle. It also had neon colored material straps on it. She wore neon yellow stocks with neon pink fishnet pattern on them. On her right leg, she had a garter that was neon green, pink and yellow. Her boots were black with yellow heels and she had one strippy glove while her other one was ripped in places. She wore a black crown on her head that stood out against her hair, which was neon pink that faded into neon green. Her mask was white with paint splatter on it and it only covered one of her eyes, which had bright green iries and black scleas. She also wore neon green lipstick and her skin was a light gray. In her right hand was a neon colored staff that had a sort of eye on top of it. Her eyes were fixed on XY as he struggled to get away from her. Anatis narrowed his eyes before throwing his yoyo and swinging down, grabbing XY and pulling him out of harm's way. He landed on a different building as a butterfly mask appeared around the akuma's eyes. XY took a breathe as she looked up at Anatis.

 "Anatis! Give me XY!" She declared, making him frown. "You're supposed to be a hero and I only want to make him understand that his attitude towards his fans isn't cool!"

 Anatis ignored her and turned to him.

 "What did you do?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

 "Me?! That crazed fan is after me and you're blaming me for it!" He gasped but Anatis didn't say a thing and kept glaring. "Ugh! Fine! We had a contest for one of my fans to win a VIP experience with me but this kind of dull girl won it and then tried to give me some weird bracelet to 'thank' me for my music, which was kind of lame. I mean why would I want something cheap like that! Anyway, I told her thanks but no thanks,"

 "Was it recording?" Anatis asked, making XY nod. He took out his yoyo and watched the video, showing that XY said a lot more then thanks but no thanks. He actually insulted the winner and called her boring and lame live on air. He continued to rip into her, causing her to run off crying. Anatis frowned and closed the yoyo a bit too calmly before he turned to XY. "So you failed to mention you insulted her and made her cry live on TV!"

 "Not my fault she'- Ah! What are you doing?!" He gasped as Anatis literally dragged him to the edge and held him over it with his jacket. "You can't!"

 "You treat people like crap!" He growled, making XY gulp. "You're a thief and you blame everyone but yourself for your problems! I should hand you over to the akuma because kwami knows you deserve it after the way you treated her but fortunately for you, I'm a hero! However, I suggest you change your ways, Xavier or I'll treat you the same way I treat the villains and Hawkmoth. Got it?!"

 "What?! Why?" He gasped, surprised. "I'm not a villain!"

 "If you're not part of the solution then you're part of the problem!" Anatis declared, making XY gasp. "You go around treating people badly in a city where a supervillain feeds of negativity and you don't see a problem with that! You still treat people awfully despite knowing that it makes them vulnerable to akumas so as far as I'm concerned, that makes you just as bad as Hawkmoth!"

 He pulled him back and pushed him onto the floor, leaving XY shaking a bit.

 "Stay out of sight," He ordered in a harsh manner before swinging away. He landed on another building and let out a sigh before dialling Lady Noir's number, causing her to pick up straight away. "Hey, Kitten we have an akuma at the TVi studios,"

 "I'm on my way, Annie," She declared before he hung up. He made his way back to the studios and saw the akuma firing at people with her staff, turning them into her minions before she ordered them to find the heroes and XY. Lady Noir landed next to him as he watched. "What do you think?"

 "She's a recruiter type and I think her akuma is in her staff," He stated, making her nod. "We need to make sure-"

 "Watch out!" Lady Noir gasped, pulling Anatis back and using her baton to block the akuma's attack. However, her minions were beginning to climb up the walls and trying to burst through the doors, surrounding them. Neon Queen jumped up onto the building and tried to fire at them. Anatis threw his yoyo before grabbing Lady Noir around the waist and swinging off with her. She held onto him as they jumped onto a different building before Anatis threw his yoyo in the air.

 "Lucky charm!" He declared, catching the small candle. He rose an eyebrow before it clicked. "I need to go get help,"

 "Alright," Lady Noir nodded. "Want me to come with or should I keep an eye on the akuma?"

 "Keep an eye on the akuma and engage if she begins to attack civilians again," He ordered, making her nod. "I shouldn't be long,"

 He gave her sault before diving off and making his way through the city towards Fu's. He frowned and stopped behind a chimney as he had a sudden strange feeling before he looked behind him. Koro jumped down from a building and looked around, making him sigh. Of course, she's been following him. He stepped out, making her frown as she looked at him. 

 "Why are you following me?" He asked, making her frown a little.

 "To ensure you're not compromised again," She stated, making him frown.

 "Well, as you can see, I'm not," He stated, gesturing to himself.  "Now go home or do whatever it is you do. I don't need a babysitter,"

 "You don't trust me," She stated, making him roll his eyes.

 "Clearly," He stated, crossing his arms. She gave him an annoyed look. "You just turn up out of nowhere, act like you own the place and stalk me then you expect me to trust you! Well, I don't! Trust and Respect need to be earnt and other then helping us one time because you had no other choice doesn't earn you my respect or trust! Especially since you've been here since the beginning!"

 "None of the western box can purify akumas and it wasn't my place to interfere,"

 "You could have reached out to Master Fu and let him know that he isn't alone!" He shouted before pinching his nose as his earrings beeped.  "I haven't got time for this right now. I have an akuma defeat so just go back to the shadows and leave me alone!"

 "Anatis!" She gasped as he threw his yoyo and swung away, making her sigh before she turned back around and jumped away.

 ~At Master Fu's~

 Luka sighed as Master Fu took out the miracle box and placed it in front of him, opening it up. The draws popped out, causing him to focus on it.

 "Luka Couffaine, pick an ally you can trust to fight alongside you in this mission," Master Fu stated, causing Luka to take a breathe. "Choose wisely. Such powers are meant to serve the greater good,"

 Luka nodded as he looked at them.

 "Once the mission is over, you will retrieve the miraculous from them," He stated as Luka reached for the fox and picked it up. "Calling on Culpeo again?"

 "She's perfect for this mission," He stated, making Master Fu nod before he got up and pocketed it. He walked over to the window but Master Fu cleared his voice. "Yeah?"

 "Are you ok?" Master Fu asked, making Luka frown before he sighed.

 "I ran into Koro before I came here," He stated, frowning. "Can we talk about it after the akuma's been dealt with?"

 "Of course," Master Fu nodded, causing Luka to nod back before leaving the apartment. He transformed into Anatis and made his way to the Liberty, finding Juleka on the deck alone. He landed in front of her, making her look up at him.

 "I need your help with the akuma," He stated, holding out the miraculous. She nodded and took it, putting it on. Trixx manifested and zoomed around her, making her smile.

 "Trixx, let's pounce," She declared, transforming into Culpeo before jumping towards where Lady Noir and Neon Queen were fighting. They landed on the rooftop above them before Anatis threw his yoyo in the air and called for his lucky charm, catching it from the air. He rose an eyebrow as it was a length of rope before he glanced around in his luck vision. Culpeo lit up, followed by the rope, a lampost nearby, followed by a tree next to the lamp post and Neon Queen's staff before it finally highlighted Lady Noir. He turned to Culpeo as Lady Noir dodged Neon Queen's attack. "I need you to create an illusion of XY to lure her close to my trap,"

 "Alright," Culpeo replied, following him as he jumped down to the lamp post and the tree. He tied the rope into a lasso before wrapping it around the lamp post before using the tree to pull it back, making it into a spring trap that would be triggered the moment Neon Queen stepped on it. He threw his yoyo up to a building and pulled himself onto it.  Culpeo followed him before taking her flute out and bringing it to her mouth. She played a few notes on it, creating the ball of light on the end before throwing it towards the street. "Mirage!"

 An illusion of XY rushed out and gasped in fear as Neon Queen saw him, taking her attention of Lady Noir.

 "Finally!" She gasped, pointing her wand at him and fired at him but he dodged and ran off, causing her to follow. She ran past the building they were on and straight into Anatis' trap. The rope wrapped around her ankle and pulled her up, causing her to drop her wand. Anatis jumped down and grabbed it, throwing it towards Lady Noir.

 "Cataclysm!" She declared as she caught it, causing it to turn to rust. She dropped it and crushed it with her foot, causing the akuma to escape as Anatis and Culpeo lowered Neon Queen to the floor. Seeing the akuma, Anatis took out his yoyo and caught it before releasing the purified verison back into the world as Culpeo continued to untie Neon Queen. With her untied, she handed Anatis the rope, allowing him to throw it up in the air and release the cure. It flowed through Paris, fixing all the damage before disappearing. Neon Queen turned back into her normal form, making her blink and look around as Lady Noir came over. Anatis knelt down in front of her and helped her to her feet. 

 "Anatis? Lady Noir? Culpeo?" She asked, looking confused. "What happened?"

 "You were akumatized," He stated, making her blink and look down. "But everything is ok now..."

 "I'm sorry," She gasped, looking at him. "I didn't meant to. It's just I was meant to meet XY but he was so mean to me. He said I looked dumb and thumpy and didn't even seem interested in meeting anyone. I wanted to give him this but..."

 She looked at the bracelet on her wrist.

 "He said it looked cheap..." She mumbled, looking down. "I made it myself but it wasn't good enough..."

 "You shouldn't listen to him," Anatis stated, making her look at him. "It is good enough. I think it's awesome that you made it,"

 "Thank you," She smiled shyly before taking off the bracelet and handing it to Anatis, making him look at her in surprise. "I think you should have it,"

 "Thank you," He replied back, taking it and putting it on his wrist before his ears beeped. "I have to go now,"

 She nodded as he stood up and turned to the girls as their miraculous beeped. Lady Noir spun her baton and leaned on it.

 "See you for Patrol?" She asked, making him smile and nod. She grinned back before turning to Culpeo. "Good job today, Kit. It was nice to see you again,"

 "It was nothing really..." Culpeo mumbled but she had a smile on her face. Lady Noir gave her a kind smile before saulting them both and jumping away. Anatis smiled and turned to Culpeo.

 "Time to go," He stated before the two of them jumped off and headed to an alleyway near the Seine. They landed in it, allowing Culpeo to transform back into Juleka. She gave a highfive to Trixx and said goodbye before taking off the necklace and handing it back to Anatis. "Thank you for your help today, Juleka,"

 "It was no problem," She smiled shyly before running out of the alleyway. She stopped and waved to him before walking off. He threw his yoyo up and swung over to Master Fu's. He jumped down into the alleyway next to it and detransformed, catching Tikki as he did. He took out a cookie for her and placed her in his pocket as she began to eat it. He walked over to the door and put in the code before heading up to Master Fu's shop. He knocked on the door and entered, causing Master Fu to look up at him before he got up and took out the miracle box. Luka handed him back the fox miraculous before he sat down and let out a sigh.

 "Want to tell me what's on your mind?" Master Fu asked as he put back the box. Luka let out a sigh again.

 "Koro was following me in case I got controlled again," He stated, making Master Fu frown. "I get that she helped us but she literally just turned up when it suited her and now expects me to work with her?! I get that she might have been under Princess Justice's control but if she wasn't, where was her help then? Or before that? How can she expect me to trust her when she didn't try to help before miracle queen?! She could have tracked you down and let you know that you're not alone! Or she could have build a team to help take down Hawkmoth?! She could have done anything but she did nothing! And now she expects me to trust her!? How do I even know I can?! Does she realize that trust is earned not given?!"

 Master Fu remained silent as Luka let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair.

 "I'm sorry... it's just..." He sighed, glancing down. "Part of me wants to trust her and I feel bad that I don't but how can I when she didn't even try to help us before Miracle Queen?... Am I been selfish?"

 "I don't think so, Luka," Master Fu stated as Luka sat down. "But maybe part of the reason why you feel like you can't trust her is due to recent events? After all, you've been through some very traumatic things recently,"

 "Mob Boss has nothing to do with this..." He stated, making Master Fu frown. "I'm annoyed that she just turned up and expects me to trust her instantly... It doesn't help that I can't sleep either!"

 "The nightmares again?" Master Fu asked, making Luka sigh.

 "They're different," He admitted, making Fu frown. "I keep dreaming of a flooded paris,"

 "Syren flashbacks?" Fu asked but the haunted look on Luka's face concerned him.

 "No... I don't think it's of the past," He replied, making his mentor frown even more. "I think it's of the future..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter: Coming soon

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Ok so I've been stalking your blog for the past couple of hrs after seeing your TadaAi posts (I'm drowning in the period drama that is this ship) and I find you ship Tododeku and rinharu (god i can't stand bakudeku and makoharu) and seems like we share a lot of our views on fandom and ships probably because we're older (I'm 22). Followed and looking forward to your input in the future!

Also you might've given me the motivation to finish watching Free! XD

Hehe yay, please, we need more ppl in our “house of oldies”, make yourself at home lol. And we share a lot of ships?! Even better <3

I knooow, I can’t believe we’ve got a gay “master who fell in love with his servant” ship in the anime, just what I needed for my idiotic collection lmao

But also these two have too much going on between them, so much wasted potential in my opinion, it’d be so interesting to explore (but sadly no xD), they were still the only interesting thing for me lolz. I love complicated morons, who became the victims of a huge unrequited requited love misunderstanding, bc they’re insecure morons lmao and they just have 2 of my fav ships vibes, so it’s probably mostly this haha. 

Oh, I’m inputting *wink wink*, can’t wait to finish the vid, I’m having too much fun with it. I’ve just literally spent several minutes trying to get whether I’ve put Tadashi’s sexy mole in the right distance from his eye in the “him moaning on the table” manip lolz. What can I say... I picked the best hobby, with all the support I’m getting with my vids, I’m living a dream xD

You know, I think I’ve said it before, but when it comes to bakudeku, I at least understand what ppl hope to see there and why, but like.. it’s just not happenning. Also imagining Bakugou lovingly hugging Midoriya is just so OOC I start laughing all the time. And whatever ppl say, in any ship whether they’re enemies or rivals or anything, if you can’t imagine them being tender with each other, smth is not right in my opinion. Also once again, who needs idiotic bleating Midoriya, idk. I’m just tired of the endless “die, deku/out of my way” yelling, I like watching Bakugou going to parties and amusement parks and doing silly stuff, too. Like I’ve said before, pride won’t ever let him change the way he behaves with Midoriya, even when they’re doing “great”. If he was the one, it wouldn’t have mattered, no matter how tough you are, and it wouldn’t take that long. I also don’t think they’re that kind of relationship, like they move each other for sure, sometimes, yeah (not always in a good way tho), but be together in a relationships? Can’t imagine that. Like not all rivals have the rivals to lovers dynamic, no matter what ppl say. But I get the shipping, bc 1stly these two are playing too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him and Bakugou obsessed with him too (just in a bad way lmao) and 3rd ppl want that “enemies to lovers” dynamic, since many love it (me included, when it done right and progresses right), so they’re trying to write that “to lovers” bridge, that just doesn’t fit here in my opinion, simply bc Bakugou won’t be soft with Midoriya, like ever in a way, you’d want, and I don’t think it’s possible for them to go there.

Tododeku on the other hand, 1stly they also play too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him too and Todoroki is lovingly obsessed with him in return, 3rdly they are also rivals to lovers, and I have no problem imagining the second part, it won’t be OOC, 4thly Midoriya when he’s with Todoroki is my fav Midoriya, he’s happy, he is cocooned and he’s badass af (and like when he told Endeavor to fuck off or yelled at Todoroki “the fuck are u doing?” xD are still the best), 5thly Midoriya forgets about Bakugou, when he’s with Todoroki a lot and it’s just funny to me, 6thly they healed each other so nicely, I can’t not be into that, 7thly when they’re together I have like 0 worries, idk I’m like “he will catch him” anyways haha, Bakudeku just don’t give me this vibe. It’s like yeah, they won’t let each other die, but it’s always this chaos of “out of my way”, “I don’t want your help” and “let me punch you before I punch the villain” that I’m just “oh for god’s sake, pls bring in Kirishima and Todoroki so we could just go home, it could’ve been solved in 2 minutes” lmao. Etc, etc.

Tododeku just have too many winning points over bakudeku for me, same with kiribaku over bakudeku, even tho I 100% get bakudeku as a ship ofc. Also idk whether things would be different if Todoroki wouldn’t exist in the equation, but the moment I saw that s2 scene where Bakugou started yelling and Todoroki just ignored him and was like “was Midoriya always this good?”, there was no going back to me XD. Like they both obviously see that Midoriya is wonderful, but only one reacted to that in a way that I wanted. And I’m a sucker for the ships who don’t give a fuck and like “yeah, I find him amazing and everyone should know that”. Todoroki is also one of those guys, who if you give them the much needed love, they’ll return it tenfold with a forever devotion. And all of my fav ships are like that: Yullen, Rinharu, Mikayuu, Wangxian, Akakuro, etc. They’re like “well, I ain’t an idiot to let someone this precious go”, you know lol

On the other hand, when it comes to Kirishima, Bakugou can do all kind of ridiculous thing I wouldn’t imagine he would do to keep him or make him happy, you know. Kirishima is also the only one, who can put his arm around Bakugou without it being cut off, so I don’t make the rules here lol.

So it’s not like I can’t stand bakudeku, more of like can’t imagine this work, to me it’s easier to imagine todobaku in a relationships, but not bakudeku lolz.

But when it comes to makoharu, I just have a huge problem with it and I will never get it. Bc they don’t bring anything good in each other like AT ALL, I don’t even understand what kind of relationships this is from their shipper point of view; they give each other nothing, and one of them is totally in love with someone else and wants a future with him. And that someone also head over heals with him and also wants a future with him. And I hate how 99,9 % of mh fans don’t give a fuck about Haru or Rin whatsoever and just ignore their character’s everything. Bc Makoto. I’m also like if you love him so much, the fuck would you want him to be with Haru anyways, dude doesn’t reciprocate, like at all. I’m at confusion, like name good points of this ship and what good can they do for each other characteristically. There is none, it’s like a damn swamp. Like usually I can give my notp some points, but this is like... they’re both no good for each other... like... why would anyone even want this idk. Don’t tell me “for the childhood friends” one-sided dynamic, like why won’t you also ship Shion with Safu then, like even he seemed more invested in that, than Haru in makoharu lol.

Even if you think of them from the point of view of “the two who are always walking together” ships, that are everywhere nowdays (even tho since Haru moved to Tokyo, he was always with Asahi instead), but even if... those kind of ships are usually at least make each happy and are enough for each other. Haru on the other hand, when he doesn’t have Rin, he is walking with Makoto like a ghost, not even caring if he’s talking next to him AND he’s getting ennoyed by him. Like explain, how someone’s shipping them romantically. It’s been showed like 20 times, that with Rin, but without Makoto, he can be perfectly happy, without Rin tho, he never is.

Also someone explain, what exactly is the point of splitting up two characters, who are happy together, make each other the best versions of themselves and want to be together whole-heartedly? Like I know many start shipping smth, bc the relationships are better in the other pairing, for example, but this is like... definitely not the case here. Like what exactly is missing in rinharu, that makoharu has? Lack of progression and mutual inspiration?

So yes, if you’re into rinharu, totally finish Free! They’re like doing sooo incredible and holy shit they’re inspiring, I mean, look, they’re now the tokyo olympics ambassadors, like how many of yall gay ships reached that? you can’t miss out on them, and also they’re so hilariously romantic, they literally made a wish to swim with each other since they were 13 and did everything to get each other there, I’m.. you’re lying, if you didn’t cry watching them as chibies making wishes on a star and watching them now. One of the most wonderful development in my opinion. Like who would’ve thought back in s1, that we’ll get Haru yelling on top of Rin about how he made him want a future with him, def not me lmao and now all the olympics boyfriends fanfiction are true, I mean, idk what to say anymore. I miss them so much, I can’t wait for the movie :D

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

Spoons? What spoons?

Hi yall! Been meaning to check in for a while :3 put under a read more cuz goddamn it has been a while.

SO when last we met LOLOL or some other opener... xD

Dad

Dad’s doing as well as can be expected. His brain is more or less getting back to normal (mom says its not; I told her she’s just seeing him for the first time proper and all the cruel shit he’s saying/doing is very much in-character for him when he’s not always stoned, but thanks to therapy I have the words and stuff to communicate all that abusive shit to her now; I love him but I hate him but we’ll touch on that xD). He’s had three amputations so far and he’s developed osteomyelitis (bone infection) so he’s been doing 2hr ‘dives’ in the Hyperbaric chamber every other day to fight it up to 10 dives. I’m told its $200,000 treatment which their new health insurance is fully paying for cuz one surgery already hit the $20,000 premium (don’t even get me started on THAT fight I had to do to get them signed up so we’d still have a place to live- they don’t ‘believe’ in insurance cuz they dont know shit... lawsuits are still pending and will be for the next 2-3yrs i expect). So... yeah. Mom has stepped up with a lot of stuff and she’s better educated on it all too thank fuck.

Thank fuck for therapy

The entire time dad’s stuff has been taking place, I’ve been attempting therapy, which was never explained to me properly/offered of ‘why am i here’ sort of thing, soooo about 4months (5-6 sessions of 30min therapy) turned out to be a COMPLETE waste of time. I’m on mediCal and the clinic they assigned me to only deals with mild-moderate trauma and can only see me for max. of six months when most patients make an improvement. Asking the therapist when we’d actually get to the trauma and triggers and all the other shit I’ve been pursuing therapy for two years over resulted in some clarity and I’ve been putting off making the phone call X_X My therapist only deals with singular trauma, and she said I have complex/multiple trauma with PTSD, and there’s no possible way (in my opinion and hers as well) I’d get any modicum of ‘better’ in six months cuz I’m too damaged, so like... that’s fun to know. I’ve been living in denial about my quality of life for decades and hearing it from a professional has considerably destroyed my sense of self (as it should tbh cuz these rose colored glasses are made of broken bottles LOL). Everything about myself revolves around survival tactics so I’m kind of floundering about living in lies (cuz coming to terms with trauma you’ve convinced yourself doesn’t actually bother you too much will do that, and ‘fawning’ is apparently one of the flight/fight responses and hardcore how i’ve lived these past decades) sooooo that’s what I’m dealing with and it’s super painful to come to terms with. If you’ve ever had to eat fast-food ketchup packets cuz you’re so hungry as a child and there’s nothing else you can have and they’re free, WELP then you might have a very very small window of what my quality of life has been like (: and me and my sister just thought we were fat kids for always being hungry constantly LOL

Also thank fuck for brain medication

On the good news end, I’ve officially been medicated just over 2months for my adhd :D I’m on atomoxetine (strattera) and it’s COMPLETELY gotten rid of my executive dysfunction, I can get up in the morning regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten, and I have much more energy and motivation to do stuff :) My medication isn’t a stimulant but works on the adrenal glands (which I suspected from various other body ailments might be the source of a LOT of my problems-- especially the chronic fatigue- and if the meds took them away, then I was right, and they did, so.... adrenal gland fixer yay!) and anyways it’s improved life a lot. It gives me goosebumps sometimes too which is funny but I’m real happy with it. If anyone has any questions, I’ve always been a loud mouth irl about my disorders in order to be visible and unashamed for others, and I’ve helped a lot of peers irl with mental bullshit and I’m always willing to pay it forward! :)

The doom and gloom stuff xD

I’m trying to get back into writing. Desperately. I spend time at night writing a couple of sentences when it’s quiet, but then I usually pass out in five minutes cuz tbh I don’t really sleep anymore and I haven’t since dad’s accident so progress on my creative endeavors is going very very slow. Lord knows I have the fucking time rn. I’ve been getting one shift a week at work since June cuz there’s NO hours, so I’m freaking out about money (i’m probably gonna open commissions again), and my life, and my age, and how I’ll never get out of fucking debt at this rate, and how I’m so fucking mentally fucked cuz I can’t do two/three jobs with my fucking adhd and shit, and I want to move out but I can’t live with other people cuz of the aforementioned trauma/distrust and it’s not like anywhere is affordable anyways in this hell country soooo. Yeah. I’m at the point of taking out balance transfers from credit cards to deposit cash into my bank account cuz i can’t fucking survive otherwise and I guess I’ll figure that out next month. I joke around but are any of you an escort/have you done that kind of work before/could I ask questions? >_> I need options. If I could sell an organ for about $25k i’d just do that but i AM desperate and I’m open to any and all suggestions for quick cash no matter how demeaning. Can’t demean someone who’s used to it all their life! :D Real talk tho i’m not kidding, if anyone could point me to some resources, DM me :|

So yeah that’s what’s up in a nutshell. Really REALLY wanna write and finish some shit... existential dread and basic survival is getting in the way of that. Bear with me though, it’s been a very very tough year but nothing has been abandoned and I’m definitely around. Just rarely have the spoons to do shit :D

[renohasbigtits]

Omg your Iggy mpreg headcanon is so gooooddd! Will you consider to do another Iggy mpreg headcanon which takes place in the true ending?

Mpreg Ignis (Final Fantasy 15: True Ending Version)

AHAAHAHAHAH! I can’t believe that people really like the Mpreg Ignis Headcanon! Thank you so much!

Something you guys have probably noticed by now is that I’m not a huge fan of the true ending.

Not saying it’s bad, I just don’t like how:

•Noct dies

•Iggy is blind

•Ravus dies

I also don’t agree with the assumption that the alternative ending is a “happier ending” because Luna is still dead.

But I digress, I don’t think the ending is bad. it’s just not my favorite ending.

But I will do it. I will give the people what they want!

To make this one different than the Alternative ending this one will have;

•Ignis is Blind :(

•Noctis is dead (also Ravus)

•Ignis has his own restaurant because of course he should!!!

I guess this takes place two years after The light is restored. Idk you change that if ya want to.

Apologies if it’s similar to the Alternative version, I did try my best to make this one different!

Yes it’ll albaby’s are default Female but you can change it if you want to!

Alright alright, less talking, Let’s go!

(this does contain Mpreg =Male Pregnancy. Don’t like? Don’t read!)

•Look

•this man is a lot of things (hotter than satan is one of em.)

•but happy isn’t really one of them rn.

•Just broken up with his long time partner.

•things aren’t going well for him...

•than suddenly he’s getting sick!

• certain smells bother him, he’s throwing up every morning.

•it’s gotten to the point where he can’t really cook anymore at his restaurant. And he now has to supervise.

•not that it’s a huge issue since there are other amazing cooks there to help but Ignis does not like sitting on the sidelines.

•than a female co-worker, Shannon, asks Iggy what’s wrong, he tells her that he has a “strange illness”

•she asks what the symptoms are

•tiredness

•morning sickness

•Smell sensitivity

•Mood swings

•than she starts giggling.

•”Ignis, I’m a chef but I’m also a Mother of 3 kids.”

• “What are you imply, Pray tell?”

•”I think your Pregnant. You have the classic symptoms.”

•Ignis was dumbfounded. 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘵?

•He made a Doctors appointment.

•After what feels like 𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴, The Doctor comes back with the results.

•”Mr Scientia, The results are in. You are Pregnant! Congratulations!”

•Ignis was not one to be speechless but this...

•he wasn’t sure what to do!!

•he wasn’t sure if he was ready for Parenthood.

•He was Blind and he couldn’t never see what his child would look like.

•or, if it was the right time....

•so he turned to his friends, Prompto and Gladiolus, for help.

•Prompto had to ask if Iggy’s joking

•he wasn’t obviously

•Gladio asks if Ignis has tried to get the other parent involved.

•Ignis did tried to do that.

•it didn’t go well...

•the other parent outwardly admitted that they did not want to be in the baby’s life.

•Well Fuck

•Poor Ignis (someone hug him 🥺)

•Prompto and Gladiolus, being the best friends they are decided then and there, that there gonna help Ignis, no matter what decision he makes.

•Shannon, the coworker in question, steps up and offers Ignis tips on pregnancy, since she knows it can be stressful, especially with your first one.

•Ignis really appreciates it.

•she’s also leads when Ignis has a doctors appointment or is too sick to be there.

•8 Weeks: Ignis + Pregnant = Moody Ignis

•Little things bother him more than usual.

•Ignis almost Lashed out Prompto because he did something that annoyed him.

•Shannon assured Prompto that this is just a mood swing and that he didn’t mean it.

•at this point, Ignis and Shannon have started become close due to the fact that she’s basically has become his right hand man (or woman)

•Her helping more also has taken any stress Iggy has had about it off his chest.

•Ignis couldn’t be more greatful.

•12 weeks: a small bump has started to show. So adorable!

•And of course, ya know Prompto is gonna take SO.MANY.PICS of Ignis’s bump growing.

•he’s gonna scrapbook it (rip his sd card tho)

•lris already has started making baby clothes. Girl clothes.

•15 weeks: You thought he was a mom before? Oh you ain’t seen nothing yet!

•he acts real fatherly (or motherly) to the youngest employee at the restaurant.

•good thing to because the poor guy is always a nervous reck.

•he has talent but very little confidence. So Ignis assuring him, helps a lot.

•Shannon is now basically his iggy’s real hand man (or woman)

•she helps, even when Ignis’s there.

•not just in work, but in his pregnancy too (I swear. I did not mean to create a character)

•giving him tips, things to help him, with baby supplies to buy. She’s the real mvp.

•(let’s skip a little)

•20 Weeks: Ignis has already started to feel her move. It 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 his heart. (I’ll see myself out 🚪)

•All joking aside, he was genuinely touched (that wasn’t a pun. I swear!) by feeling her kick.

•At this point, Ignis had already found out it’s a girl. (Again, you can change it if ya want to.)

•much to lris’s delight.

• THATS IT! HE’S MAKING A BUN IN THE OVEN! (>:)

•lord take the wheel....

• he tries to control himself, when it comes to his strange cravings (like pickles with peanut butter?? Wtf???)

•but he gives in when no one’s looking.

•𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘰

•”I Noticed Ignis.”

•”I don’t know why you are referring to.”

•25-28 weeks: he’s already getting bigger (don’t say that to his face tho.)

•if you think his work is being put on hold while being very pregnant, you clearly have never met Ignis.

•of course, he is being a little more easy on himself. Not walking around as much and Shannon makes a lot more decisions (with iggy’s trust)

•but he is a workaholic, so he’s working til he takes maternity leave.

•(I’m really trying to add Gladio to the story but lol)

•Prompto is already getting a new sd card cause he’s taking SO.MANY.PREGNANCY. PICS.

• “Prompto, if you don’t take any unnecessary pictures, you wouldn’t have to buy another sd car-

•”I AM NOT DELETING ANY OF THIS PICS MR MOM!”

•32 Weeks (I’m trying not to make this boring lol): He’s still working!!

•Ain't nothin' gonna break-a my stride, Nobody gonna slow me down!

•Shannon starts to get a bit worried.

•”Sir. I believe that you should take a break. Please”

•Ignis looked at his right hand and smile. “I should. Thank you Shannon.”

•36 weeks: He feels 𝘵 𝘪 𝘳 𝘦 𝘥

•his poor swollen feet :(

•thankfully, lris is secretly planning a baby shower.

•Everyone is coming.

•Shannon distracting him until she’s called to bring him over.

•when Ignis sees this, he’s tears up.

•"𝘪𝘧 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘕𝘰𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦."

• he gets so many adorable gifts.

•Prompto gets him a Chocobo Plush (classic)

•Gladio gets him a toy dagger. This son of a Bit-

•”Hey, you are never too early to start training!”

•Shannon got him a baby mobile.

•lris gotten him more baby clothes. Yay....(Am I the only one who can’t stand getting clothes as a gift?)

• lris had made an adorable cake. In his mind, Iggy admitted that she was as good as he was.

•this mf still working around the restaurant from his office.

•”Igg-Sir. Can we talk?”

•”Yes Shannon. And you can call me Ignis, were mutuals.”

•”Ignis. Promise me that when you enter in the third trimester, that you’ll take maternity leave. You’ll need to prepare for your baby.”

•Ignis was taken a back a bit. Yes, her concerns were valid but he didn’t wanna put everything on Shannon.

•”Ignis, I know that you don’t wanna put everything on me but...but you need to Focus on your daughter. You need to prepare.”

•”I-“

•”I’ll handle it. I know what I’m doing.” She smiled.

•Ignis chuckled back. “Really?” Getting up from his chair.

•”Well.” She left while looking back. “I have learned from the best.”

•Ignis laughed. He did taught her well. “Alright. I will. Thank you Shannon.”

•”don’t thank me si- Ignis. I’m just doing my job.”

•honestly Shannon has been a great support system for Ignis. Not just because she knows a thing or two or three about pregnancy, but she really has stepped up.

•Ignis considers her a great friend.

37 weeks: 9 months. He now has to get ready.

•it’s his last day at the restaurant. For awhile anyways.

•it’s actually really emotional. The employees are sad that they won’t see him for awhile but are happy that he’s taking time to be ready on fatherhood (**cough cough Motherhood cough cough**)

•To Ignis, There like a family, a family he gained when he lost so much.

•his eyesight

• and Noct

•After they’ve closed, they celebrate.

•Ignis and Shannon smiling at everyone.

•”I’m proud of you Sir.”

•Ignis smiled back. “Really?”

•”Yeah. Your the bravest person I’ve met.”

•”How, Pray tell?”

•”You may be blind but you certainly don’t act like it. You 𝗡𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 let it stop you. I’m- I’m really proud of you.” She choked up. 

•Ignis looked at her with his Emerald eyes and she looked back.

•”And I’m proud of you to, Shannon.”

•(let’s cut to the chase. Oooo. Foreshadowing.)•

•38 weeks: Ignis wonders how much his blindness will affect his daughter.

•he wasn’t lying when he said that his senses have grown. He basically doesn’t need any help.

•not that he wouldn’t have either way, but he doesn’t wanna be a burden on anyone. Including his daughter.

•Sometime during the day, Iggy starts feeling pain down his back.

•it wasn’t too bad, so he went on with his day.

•but the pain got worse.

•so bad that he started doing his deep breath’s.

•(y’all what it is!!)

•(weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee woooooooooooooooo 🚑)

•(that will never get old xD)

•The midwife tells him to get to the hospital, NOW!

•This is it.

•he has to be cut open....

• She was here.

•Ignis holding his daughter for the first time. Well, he broke down.

•he couldn’t see her but he was there to her hold her. He is there for her.

•”Hi Darling. I’m your Father.”

•she suddenly stopped crying and stared at his bad eye.

•After a week, hes able to take her home.

•And oh, If you thought Prompto took too many photos of Ignis’s pregnancy belly....oh boy.

•he immediately starts taking many, MANY MANY, Photos of her.

•she actually looked confused.

• Gladio joking said “so, when are we going to train her?”

•Ignis later made his food cold, on purpose later that night.

•Shannon got to hold her and fell in love with her immediately.

•”feels like holding my son for the first, all over again.” She said teared up.

•Over the years, She has grown to being a shy and a adorable little girl.

•She’s so helpful during work and is popular with the staff. They treat her like they’re siblings.

•She always tries to help Ignis’s blindness. Guiding him around.

•”Watch where your going Daddy.”

•Even tho, he can get around just fine. It warms his heart that she tries to help him.

•Of course, Ignis wishes that Noct could have Met her. Even once.

•but somehow, he believes that Noct is watching her in heaven.

•Noctis is so proud of his friend.

Wow! So long! Well I hoped ya like it. I hope the true ending version is just as good as the alternative version.

I thought it would be cute that he would have a restaurant. ^~^ Gladio got the right idea 💡

Also I did not mean to create a new character, Shannon, but eh why not? I grew attached to her over the story (she sounds like a like Karen but she’s a good Karen. I promise.) and who knows? She might show up in other Headcanons 😉

Also whether you ship her with Ignis, is up to you. Hehehe. I don’t blame you tho.

Anyways, I hoped who requested this, liked it 💙💜

[atopearth]

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Part 1 - Eisuke Ichinomiya Route (up to Proposal Epilogue)

This is my next guilty pleasure game lolol. Honestly, the premise of the heroine getting sold in an auction and being bought/saved by one of the dodgy rich guys makes it a dubious premise, but I love this kinda "trash"🤣 Eisuke seems like one of the most popular Voltage guys so I do want to see him in sequels haha, and yes, I already played the main story since it was free on the app, but I've kinda forgotten it, so I'll refresh my memory by playing it on the Switch again haha. I also bought My Forged Wedding and Our Two Bedroom Story so yay, more to come~ hahaha. I hope to also buy Scandal in the Spotlight and Kings of Paradise (when it comes out and goes on sale XD) when I'm done with others so yep, lots of Voltage stuff coming I guess hahaha.

I always feel sorry for the heroine that Eisuke makes her run to him within 5 minutes when he calls her, like dudeee, that's ridiculous. Anyway, it's nice that he's teaching her stuff so she's not just his toy to use. I remember finding it hilarious how Eisuke planned to use Soryu as the next "sacrifice" from the beginning and have Carolina fall in love with him instead🤣 She's very tame and silly for an Italian mafia boss' daughter but I guess we should feel blessed about that lol. Even though a lot of the things Eisuke does is questionable, it's nice to know that his reason for being involved in all this underground stuff is because he's searching for his little sister that he got separated from when their parents passed away and they were adopted by different families. It's interesting to think that Eisuke wasn't born a rich boy and actually worked very hard to get where he is now in repayment to the Ichinomiya family but also because I'm sure all this power helps him get more connections to hopefully find his sister one day. I think it's really cute how much he's opening up to the heroine now, but I kinda feel sorry for her in a sense that when Takahiro (her boss) and her finally have a nice thing going on, she's falling for Eisuke.

To be honest, their "love" is rather questionable considering how it's mostly just the heroine listening to everything he says, caring about him, whilst he uses her for what he needs to do and then kinda warms up to the idea of her staying with him and enjoys it. I mean, he barely let her go out and always called her back for trivial things lol. So yeah, even though he's "nice", I find it difficult to accept him, but I guess hopefully the sequels might change that since there's so many haha. I appreciate him trying to protect her though, it's nice to see those rare moments he shows how much he cares about her. I have to say though, that dramatic ending where the heroine picks between Takahiro and Eisuke is so... weird lol, kinda cringy loll. Anyway, let's see His PoV! Honestly, His PoV was nice but doesn't really add that much to what we already knew tbh, like I guess you can see his thought process for the important events, but yeah doesn't really feel like I read anything haha. The epilogue was nice mainly because he FINALLY got rid of all his groupies, like geez, took him a while considering his intolerance for such women who follow him around all the time lol, but the highlight was definitely the heroine getting him to honestly tell her that he loves her. I think it really helps how she always voices to Eisuke what is important to her, and he in turn understands that it's important to her so he listens and reciprocates, it's pretty sweet.

I'm glad Eisuke found his sister in the Season 1 Sequel. Yukari is so cute. I thought it was really nice how the heroine understood how much Eisuke cherished the possibility of meeting his sister again, so if he's rejecting meeting her then there must be a good reason for it. It's pretty dramatic how Eisuke ended up having to save Yukari's husband's father and their wedding in order to have the father have a better opinion of him lol. I'm just happy that Eisuke doesn't have to force himself and lie about his feelings towards finding his sister again and stuff tbh, but it was kinda sad how Eisuke really didn't look for the heroine for days when she "left" him due to not being able to understand his attitude towards Yukari before everything was resolved. I have to agree with the heroine though, Eisuke is just really stubborn about not showing his feelings, but I guess he's getting better at it with the heroine so it's all good lol. I kinda find it cute how Baba was the one to tell the heroine how much Eisuke cares for her, I guess all the guys will get a chance to cheer her up and tell her different sides of him?🥲 It was cute how they visited Yukari's new home and thought about marriage~ Lmao at Eisuke just building a hotel in Dubai because her dart fell on it.

Ooh so, S2 revolves around Dubai~ Gotta feel sorry for the heroine that she nearly got killed for trespassing when it wasn't even her fault. But now she's forced to work at the Dubai hotel as a sort of "punishment" and to let her go from her crime lol. Gotta love how Eisuke just bought an island to live on here lol. Aww, it took a long time, but it's actually really cute how soft Eisuke is with the heroine. I also really like how he's pretty open with their relationship to the others. Do a lot of Japanese people really hate green peas?? I find it so funny that a lot of characters hate green peas, but I guess it's more seen as a "childish" thing haha. So yeah, seeing Eisuke try to say he hates green peas in a prideful way was adorable to say the least. Anyway, Hishikura is quiteeee dodgy and weird lol, why does he want to be an auction manager though, does that help him become the future prime minister?🤔 And I found it so silly the way the heroine "won" Hishikura and left him, like shouldn't the first thing Eisuke and them thought of was the fact that this was an illegitimate auction bid when the product (heroine) was obviously not the dancing girl that was supposed to be sold?? Why did we have to waste so much time on something so simply solved just like that?? Honestly though, I'm sure Hishikura could have made some other excuse though, but still, could they have not resolved it better and had a better reason to allow Hishikura be a part of the gang? Lol.

Sometimes I think I underestimate how much Eisuke likes the heroine, because wow, to protect her, he's willing to let people think he's "running away" from Dubai and all the troubles there, and I guess last time with Hishikura, he made it pretty obvious how important she was to him. Like, Kishi and Soryu being bodyguards for the heroine are understandable (but honestly a waste of their time lol) but I'm not sure if Hishikura, Ota and Baba are very good lol. Anyway, trust Eisuke to propose in such an unromantic way loll. Full just gave her the papers and told her to sign it loll. Anyway, I'm surprised they never had a hotel branch in London, but it doesn't matter since Eisuke can build wherever he likes lol. Wow, like I know Eisuke is selfish and the heroine is very accommodating, but I'm surprised she wasn't mad or even annoyed at all that Eisuke just took back the "proposal" and said nah, not getting married anymore since it's unnecessary. Like excuse me??? And the way the heroine knows he loves her is always just through sex lol, like c'mon heroine, sure he shows his love in many ways, but his attitude still annoys me a lot lol, it really is as if marriage is nothing to him and the heroine hasn't even told him that it's special to her because she'll become his wife. Honestly, he probably said it so she wouldn't feel pressured about it anymore (since she was undecided) but still.

Well, I was going to say Frank and his butler are kinda cute but dang lol, getting revenge for something that happened in middle school that was your own fault is pretty petty of Frank. I'll admit that Eisuke being up for auction and the heroine being auctioneer was pretty fun and interesting haha. Especially when she just started revealing everything about him to the crowd lol, but I guess that way she was able to show how deep her feelings were for him and how much she wanted them to be family instead of him just distancing himself from others and her. I'm so happy Eisuke finally proposed properly and said she'll be his family~~ Anyway, I'm disappointed that they didn't allude anything about Eisuke and London (aside from this Frank guy) when I think it would have been fun to see more about Eisuke's life back in the day instead of a random villain. For once, it was nice to see Eisuke's PoV to the marriage thing. So he suggested marriage to the heroine because he wanted to give her financial security just in case anything happened to him, and he wanted to do it in a way where she wouldn't be scrutinised by the public eye, and that's why he wanted her to be his wife so that everything would "look proper" to others. I guess I can see why he was so shocked and sad when she didn't immediately accept him haha. It was nice seeing Eisuke realise his mistake in saying he wanted to the marry the heroine but in the same breath say he didn't need a family, and understand that this was why the heroine was so hesitant. It was really nice to see Eisuke grow and straightforwardly ask Akira (his dad) why did he adopt him and whether he only cares about him because he has a talent for business. Seeing Eisuke face things he usually avoids because of the heroine's support and love makes me happy for him.

Okay, the DLCs (Scattered Cards onwards) on the Switch are too expensive so I'm not going to buy them right now hahaha😅 Overall, I'm not a fan of Eisuke tbh. He definitely got much better over the course of the seasons, but from the heroine's perspective alone, he is a bit frustrating lol, but at the same time, I'd say the same for the heroine for how silly she is lol so I guess they fit well. I think what I'm most disappointed in though is that the premise itself is really just the premise and nothing really "evolves" from it, because the following stories are really just the guys expanding the hotel and dealing with people trying to wreck that rather than stuff about auctions and bidding? I did enjoy Eisuke reuniting with his sister and learning more about how he views family, and then having the heroine make him realise that he does crave family warmth and other things, he just tries to hide it with his bad attitude lol. But yeah, otherwise Eisuke is not bad, just not my type lol, and the stories are rather cliche and bad at some points so yeah, I'd say the plot suffers more than his attitude does for me.

[its-nyakemi-nya]

Twisted Wonderland One Shot Raffle #4: Fluff!Lilia Vanrouge x Child!Female!Reader x Fluff!Malleus Draconia

pumpkiethepie: I'm so happy :') I don't know if it's possible, so tell me if you don't want to do it or don't understand because English is not my first language, I would like a one shot with a child!reader who arrives at NRC like in the game's prologue by coffin at the entrance ceremony but she's only 7/8 years old, and everyone is panicking and Reader is crying, so Lilia and Malleus take care of her and at the end they adopt her as their daughter, with lot of fluff and bonding moments, and maybe reader with a harsh past, please ~

Our fourth one shot nya! Won and requested by @pumpkiethepie nya! You’ve won twice already nya XD Dem, your lucky nya XD Gimme your luck nya XD Hahaha nya XD

Disclaimer: I do not own Twisted Wonderland nya. I only own the plot of this one shot nya.

P.S. I would like to apologise for Lilia and Malleus being OOC and my grammatical errors nya. Enjoy nya!

Everyone looked at you in confusion.

“I don’t believe my eyes! After many years of being a headmaster, I never imagined that a human from another world got transported here,” Crowley said, sulking, “You don’t have magic and what’s worse is that you’re a child!”

You just blinked as you scanned everyone in the room. Yes, I know that the boys in the room are gorgeous! However, you’re a child here. In your perspective, they look quite frightening and intimidating. You’re already quivering in fear.

“W-whe-where’s m-my mama and pa-papa?” You asked as you’re in brink of tears. They might not be good parents to you but it’s better to have a familiar face than none.

“Ummm..sadly, they are not here. Ummm...they are somewhere far away from here. You probably might not see them again,” Crowley answered. It’s probably not the best answer as you started to cry hearing the last sentence. Real smooth, Headmaster Crowley.

Everyone is either still at the state of confusion or in a state of panic. Who could blame them? You’re a child. The state of everyone is all thanks to errr...a certain one brain cell headmaster of NRC.

“That’s not how you should answer the child’s question, Headmaster Crowley,” Lilia said as he walked towards your crying figure.

You looked up to him with tears in your eyes. He smiled, crouched down your level and patted your head, “There, there, little one. Hush now.” He carried you and started to caress your hair. 

Little by little, you were calmed down my the soothing feeling and eventually, you fell asleep in his arms.

________________________________

“Since when did we allow that child to be here?” Sebek asked angrily as he glared at your small figure.

You hid behind Lilia’s leg while holding his uniform tighter as you’re eyes started to tear up.

“No, now, Sebek. You’re scaring her,” Lilia said.

“Oh my. What’s with all the commotion?”

“Young master,” Sebek bowed at Malleus.

“Greetings, Sebek, Lilia,” Malleus greeted the two. Then his eyes fell upon your frightened figure.

He looks at you and smiled. You slowly went out of your hiding spot, which was behind Lilia’s leg, and walked towards him. You stared at him for a few seconds and realized that he’s a good person. That and you’re quite fascinated with his horns. You extend your arms towards him and said, “Up, up.”

Lilia smiled, “Looks like the little lady wants you to carry her.”

“The nerve of-”

“I don’t mind” Malleus said, cutting of Sebek, as he carried you right into his arms. You giggled as you tried to reach for his horns.

Malleus chuckled at your gesture, “Now, now, little one. Do you really want to touch my horns?”

Sebek gritted his teeth since Malleus is allowing you to do so. Take not that he can’t really bear to see you treat Malleus like that even if you are just a child.

“Anyways, what’s this child of man doing here?” Malleus asked Lilia, still carrying you in his arms.

“The Headmaster practically gave her to me and assigned me to be her guardian along with this raccoon too,” Lilia answered as he showed Malleus Grimm, who he’s holding by his fur.

“Let go of me!” Grimm squirmed out of Lilia’s grasp but with no luck.

“I see,” Malleus said, “Well then, little one. What’s your name?”

“[First Name]!”,  You answered, “What are your names, misters?”

“Misters?!” Sebek exclaimed, “I’ll have you know that-”

“It’s fine,” Malleus said to Sebek, “I’m Malleus. That is Sebek. And the one who brought you here is Lilia.”

“Mally, Seb and Lily?” You tilted your head.

“If that’s you wish to call us and please do so,” Malleus said while Sebek’s jaw dropped that flies can get inside of it. Lilia just smiled at the nickname.

“Anyways, it’s night time. You’re going to need to sleep.”

________________________________

“Are you sure I can sleep on the bed?” You asked.

“Yes,” Malleus answered.

“With you?”

“Of course. Why not?”

“You’re so nice, Mally! Nicer than my own parents!” You said.

Malleus raised an eyebrow, “Care to tell me about your parents?”

“Mama and Papa often argue while I get caught in between. Whenever I disturb their arguments, I get punished. They locked me in a dark closet alone. But I still love them no matter what,” You said as you smiled.

Malleus admired you. Despite you’re being treated trash by your parents, you still love them and you still find a way to smile.

________________________________

“Lily!” You hugged his leg. Lilia smiled as he patted your head.

“How are you today, [First Name]?” Lilia asked.

“I’m fine, Lily. Silvy is fun to annoy,” You said.

“Aren’t you mischievous, [First Name]?” Lilia said, giving her a teasing smile.

“I was so bored without you or Malleus,” You whined.

Yes, it has been months since you live here in Diasomnia along with Grimm. You lived a good life here...well minus the glares and lectures you’re receiving from Sebek. Otherwise, it’s nice.

Lilia would always sing you lullabies before you go to sleep. Malleus would often tell you stories and braid your hair. There was a time that you and Lilia messed up the kitchen, receiving an almost never ending scolding session from Sebek. Whenever you get nightmares, either Malleus or Lilia would comfort you. There were even times that the three of you would sleep together in the same room. You’ve melted their hearts. They treated you like a daughter, something your parents never did. You wished that this moment would last forever.

“Great news! We have found a way to bring you back to your own world? Isn’t it exciting?!” Crowley suddenly entered with a big smile on his face. Well, way to ruin the moment, Headmaster Crowley.

“What?!”

________________________________

“But I don’t want to go back home!” You cried on Malleus’s chest.

“Believe me, we don’t want to let you go either,” Malleus said, caressing your hair.

“Wah! I want to live here! I want to live with you, Lily, Silvy and even Seb! Wah!” You started to cry harder.

“We’ll try our best and talk to the headmaster about it,” Lilia said, rubbing your back. He then carried you like a baby and started to sing a lullaby once more. Soon, you fell asleep in Lilia’s arms. 

The two tucked you in bed and left you to sleep alone for the first time in Lilia’s room.

________________________________

“What should we do about this, Malleus?” Lilia asked.

“There’s only one thing we can do, Lilia,” Malleus answered Lilia, “You don’t mind if we do that?”

“Of course not. [First Name] is precious to me,” Lilia said, “Let’s go tomorrow to the headmaster along with [First Name].”

________________________________

“Are you taking me back home, Mally, Lily?” You asked the two as you started crying already.

“No, we’re not. We’re going to talk to the headmaster about it,” Malleus answered.

Lilia knocked on the headmaster’s door. Crowley soon responded and you lot entered his office.

“Ah! Mr. Draconia, Mr. Vanrouge and [First Name], this is rare,” Crowley said.

“Headmaster, please listen well what we have to say,” Malleus said.

“Go on then,” Crowley urge Lilia and Malleus to continue.

“We want to adopt [First Name] as our daughter!” The two said simultaneously.

“What?!”

“Eh?!” You stopped crying.

“Over the past months, we’ve bonded with [First Name] and we love her as if she’s one of our own,” Lilia said.

“We will not let you take her back home,” Malleus added.

“Mally, Lily,” You stared at the two parent figures in your life.

“W-Well...that is a dilenma. Surely, [First Name] would like to-”

“No! I don’t want to go home!” You yelled, “I want to stay with Mally and Lily! I love them! They’re my papas!”

“We rest our case,” Malleus said.

Crowley sighed, “Very well then. I won’t return her back to her own world. I’ll even let her stay here in Night Raven for I am graciously kind. However you two will be responsible for her. Understood?”

“Yes, sir,” The two responded.

________________________________

“Yay! I get to be with you forever!” You cheered as you hugged both of their legs.

They looked at you and then at each other and smiled. You love them and they love you. Nothing matters anymore in your old world. This is your world now.

BONUS SCENE:

“Meanie Sebby! Gimme some cookies!” You whined as you started to hit Sebek on his leg.

“Grrr! Darn you, [First Name]!” You’re luck that you’re young master’s daughter!” Sebek said.

“My, my, what’s going on here?” Malleus asked as he entered the kitchen along with Lilia.

“Meanie Sebby doesn’t want to give me cookies,” You pouted as you went to their side.

“Sebek, please give her some cookies,” Malleus ordered Sebek.

“Yes, young master,” Sebek said begrudgingly, annoyed that Malleus is on your side.

You stick your tongue out at Sebek while he just ranted silently.

Yup, you so don’t want to return to your old world. You can’t mess with Sebek if you go back. After all, annoying him is fun!

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Three Analysis

chapter one analysis | chapter two analysis

back again for another chapter analysis. i think ive been looking forward to this chapter the most, it’s where some big decisions were made!!! this analysis is a long one, i hope that’s all right! i kinda got carried away. so, let’s dive right in, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

chapter three was supposed to be the last chapter of the fic

idk if any of you were there when i first started writing this fic, but it was only going to be three chapters with a possible epilogue. however, everything changed when i finished the end of chapter two. (lil atla reference there for ya) (sorry i know that was bad, moving on). like i said in my last analysis, i had an idea of what i wanted to happen (the separation of korrasami) so that they could come back together. it was just a matter of what separates them. so, i’m not sure where i got the panic attack idea but once i did, the rest of the story changed. i realized i couldn’t quite possibly finish the story in one chapter so i split the ideas i had and decided on it being four chapters

now, this being said, maaaaajor changes were made in my story outline. most notably: korrasami was going to be a couple in this chapter

this was originally going to be a full fledged “they meet, they get to know each other, they fall in love, happily every after” but the thing was, i planned on treating their romance as korra’s recovery; that being with asami is what made korra better, that all she needed was a partner, someone to love, and that is not what i wanted to portray with this story. i’ve never been a fan of stories that give a character a love interest and all of sudden their problems are fixed and they’re completely happy, and here i was about to do just that. i knew i’d never respect myself if i continued down this narrative, and when chapter two ended with korra’s panic attack, i realized her growth needed better love and attention. so, i changed what happened and gave her some therapy

this change in the storyline also let me explore more of kuvopal !!! (is that their ship name?)

so, back to LOVE WITCH for a second (because that glorious fic really did steal my heart) not only did it make me love kuvira’s character more, it also got me into the kuvopal relationship! and yet again, i wanted my own go at it. with the original timeline, there was just no space for me to include the lil bread crumbs of their relationship. however, however, however; by splitting the ending between two chapters (and adding some stuff in between) i was able to lay some foundation for them, which im very happy about :)

into the chapter we go:

let’s talk about the meeting! the whole reason this fic came to be! i’ll start by saying i always knew the project was going to get pulled out from under asami. 1) because thats some angsty/hurt shit right there and im a sucker for writing angst 2) i didn’t feel like creating a whole ass presentation because knowing my ass i would’ve made a powerpoint about it so i had every detail down to the font asami used and 3) getting the presentation taken away from asami was a pivotal point in her character arc.

i actually started the chapter in two different ways. at first, i’d written her whole entire morning with there always being one thing that was off. like, instead of a perfect omelette, it was going to split and asami would’ve had a scramble, still good, but not her favorite. instead of going through all green lights on her way to work, asami was gonna meet every. single. red. light. i would’ve gone through with this if it hadn’t felt strange; i wanted to give the impression that something bad was going to happen but i felt like having something go wrong with every thing in her morning was gonna be a dead give away that some even bigger big bad was about to happen, if that makes sense. so instead, i went with the picture perfect scenario, almost too perfect, if you ask me. and indeed, it was too perfect, because hiroshi was too much of a coward to tell his daughter any sooner that his board agreed to get a new presenter

im just gonna cite a bunch of my favorite lines/bits from this chapter because i really enjoyed writing it xD

Iroh has already begun but Asami hears no words, only a blaring ring in her ears. Her face feels hot and she wonders how red she is. She stares at the black binder, notes the natural grooves and curves of the material, the plastic covering over top of it, the metal spine peaking out at the bottom. She’s only brought out of it’s dark trance when she feels a hand be placed on her arm; Kuvira. 

when you’re upset, do you ever just, hyper focus on one thing and its like you’re analyzing it under a microscope for the first time? yes? no? well, i do that, and personally, i do because if i focus on my anger/hurt emotions any more, im going to explode and i dont want to explode. so, this instance about looking at the grooves in the binder and each of the components of it just hits with me, idk if does with you too, but like bruuh.

Asami has her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing, feeling as if she’ll throw up. She leans her head on her wheel, her mind wanders to what could’ve been, what should’ve been. She feels as if her car is closing in on her, that the metal is compacting. The seatbelt keeps her locked down to the driver’s seat and she can’t leave if she wants to. The Satomobile holds her hostage and she lets it. Even while it’s hurting her, even while it’s harshly molding itself onto her, she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?

this is one of my favorite things ive ever done with asami’s character, is using future industries/satomobiles as a sort of vehicle (heh) for her relationship with her dad. this paragraph just kind of hurts, but the good hurt? but also not good hurt? it’s just, (and not me over here boasting about my writing or anything) it’s so poetic that she has this breakdown and she’s so upset with her dad, i mean “what should’ve been” like, asami KNOWS that the shit that’s just happened is more than wrong, yet asami is still somehow wondering how she can please her dad and it’s in the literal legacy hiroshi built for himself. “she stays at her father’s heel because, what else is she to do?” i remember writing that and being like “shit, am i really gonna do this? yeah” ugh, i could go on forever about how i love this section, but i’ll stop here for now.

Asami begins yelling, screaming at the top of her lungs, letting all the thoughts, all the insecurities her father gave her finally be released into the world. Kuvira lets her, simply nodding and following along on the couch while Asami paces her living room. She spews out word after word, about the work, about the presentation, about Iroh, his position, her position, the company, the CEO, and she only stops when she feels the weight of her father rest on her shoulders.

back with more diction; i really love this paragraph because of how we circle back to hiroshi. note how i first say “the CEO” and then a few words later say “her father” because, in a way, this is asami’s confession that hiroshi is CEO first and father second, if i haven’t already explicitly said so. it’s so heart wrenching and sad but my favorite thing about it is this isn’t even about korra. like THIS right here is a prime example about how i realized this fic became more than just a love story. in the planning stages of this fic, asami was going to go through getting the presentation taken away from her, but what was she going to focus more on? the fact that korra wasn’t around anymore. and yes, asami still does think about korra after this, but so much more happens for her. asami gets to know kuvira more, asami gets to know her lab partners more, (and my personal hc is that they’ve all been lab partners for two years and only NOW asami is getting to be friends with them in their senior year, but hey, better late than never!) and to me, what’s even better, is that a bunch of realizations come to asami w/o korra being there. asami is growing and the idea of being able to grow without needing to have a partner in order to grow is so important to me, not only for the fact that growth should be endless and something you do all the time for yourself, but asami literally wants to share it with korra. not boast about changing and growing and becoming better, but just be better with korra. sdlfakds i swear, im fangirling over my own writing, oops

okay, moving on from The Meeting and onto the rest of the chapter

this dock scene was also another part i wrote beforehand and it had a completely different ending in that asami was going to ask korra out on a date. of course, korra would’ve said yes, and then yay yay happy ending. this didn’t happen and i’m glad it didn’t. in one version of this dock scene, asami was actually going to be upset with korra for disappearing, and even worse, mad that korra wasn’t there to comfort her after the presentation. oof, i know. so so glad i didn’t continue down that line, cause it is toxic, and my girls aren’t like that at all.

Once Korra’s eyes meet hers, Asami says, “That doesn’t mean you always have to be on your own.” She smiles at Korra, at the girl who’s turned her world upside down. Her hand remains on Korra’s cheek and she feels the girl sink into her palm. “I’ll be here for you, and it seems like Tenzin will be too, what with saying he was calling you more. And you have his family, and your own family, even though they’re away, they’re here to support you, we all are. You can still be strong and turn to other people for help. It takes great strength to ask for help and I know for a fact you’re strong enough, those bags of coffee beans were nothing for you.”

i like this line of dialogue here for a few reasons, mostly because asami is so soft and so right and the joke at the really helped lighten the mood but didn’t take away from what she’d just said before. i don’t have too much else about the Reunions section, though if you guys have any questions or anything you wanna point out, please do so! i think what i will say is that i tried to be as real and gentle with korra’s progression. i was so nitpicky about everything i wrote because i didn’t want to get any of it wrong or over dramatized or fake. recovery from anything is so important and it takes time and it’s not a straight line so i hope i did a good job with it the rest of the fic. 

moving on, i love the found family trope and this leads me into the next section, New Friends

when i think about this section, i like how soft it is, and i really enjoy the ending bits: korra recounting memories from the south, asami meeting tenzin. i think what i like about the end of this chapter is that, it kind of leaves the question: what’s next?

asami has grown, she’s changed, she sees the errors of her father’s ways but she’s not excusing them. korra has grown, she’s changing, she’s taken the first step in recovery. now it’s just a matter of, what happens with this growth now. and i really loved how i wrapped up the fic in the next and last chapter, so i hope you enjoy it too :))

honorable mentions:

there were a lot of changes in this chapter and one of them got changed twice! korra was gonna get a therapist but then i was like, we gotta get the krew together, and then i was like supppppoorttttt grouuuppppp, because lets be honest, all the krew has stuff they need to work through, and i know therapy isn’t for everyone, but mental health is so vital and important. asami is an advocate for therapy in the chapter but there are also other means to take care of yourself and your mental health and while i’ve never been to a support group, i understand finding comfort in knowing you’re not alone.

i guess what i’m trying to say is please take care of yourself and dont be afraid to lean on others. i know not everyone has the means to get a therapist/psychiatrist and i know that your friends aren’t made to only be your therapist. buuuut, don’t be afraid to reach out, there’s nothing wrong with needing help and support :)

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

honestly, i think the only thing i would’ve wanted to change was mako’s speech during the support group meeting. for me, it was a lil bit too poetically out of character. not to say i want to change the content, but rather the manner in which it’s presented. other than that though, i really loved writing this chapter :)

so this analysis was reeeaaaalllly long, i understand if not everyone made it to end. anyways, thanks so much for reading this analysis and the fic! once again, i’m very much open to questions and any comments, i love them very much! i’ll see you guys in the next analysis of the final chapter :)

[imastrangeone98]

Chapter 1: The Commission

(A/N: yay here we are! Off to the canon races! Here's hoping I don't die like I usually do XD)

I honestly don't know if this gonna become a shitty series (I'm working on one rn and it is backbreaking work XD) but just in case I'm calling it chapters instead of one shots like before. Depending on how long it goes (not that long hopefully) I might make a separate masterlist for it

"I can bring you in warm... or I can bring you in cold."

[The Desert Planet of Nevarro]

"That Mythrol was overkill," Kyla murmured to the Mandalorian, watching his hands grip the controls tightly.

"Just business," he replied matter-of-factly. His helmet tilted towards her, a clear indication that he was listening.

A small huff escaped her nose, but she decided to let it slide. "Once we reach Nevarro, I'm going to check out the market. We need more supplies."

"No. Come with me."

"To meet Karga?" she asked in disbelief. "I thought you made it clear that only you interacted with him."

"Not today," he responded, his gloved fingers pressing on buttons as the Crest prepared to land. "I have a hunch."

"Ah, yes. You and your hunches," she teased, patting the top of his helmet. "Alright. Let me get ready, and we'll go."

"Don't take too long."

"I know."

She was unaware that as she descended to the cargo hold, Din's eyes followed her every movement.

[...]

The cantina was filthy, and so were its many patrons. Their eyes lingered on the Mandalorian, briefly studying the small medic that walked behind him only to look away after a sharp helmet turn in their direction.

Hatred. Annoyance. Jealousy. All of these and more were the only words that could really describe the members of the Bounty Hunters Guild.

Except Greef Karga, who watched the duo with a sense of grudging respect. "Ah. That was fast. Did you catch them all?"

He wordlessly set the many tracking fobs on the table.

"Good. I'll begin the offload." After giving out a quick order in Huttese and Kyla a quick- and slightly confusing- once-over, he gestured for them to sit.

Mando motioned for his partner to sit first, then mechanically unclipped his pulse rifle from his shoulder and sat.

"Well, now. Who's this fine lady you brought here today, my friend?" the agent asked, eyeing her once more with heightened interest. "A new recruit, perhaps? Or are you just showing off a plaything?"

The Mandalorian said nothing, but the way his hand sneakily crept onto her thigh and squeezed it tight was all she needed to know his feelings on the matter.

"...Well, seeing that you aren't responding, I'll just assume you brought her for reasons I cannot comprehend." And with that topic officially tabled, he slid a small pile of credits over to them.

Kyla was about to reach for them when he gave her thigh another harsh squeeze. No.

"These are Imperial Credits," her partner said coldly.

"They still spend," the agent replied.

"I don't know if you heard, but the Empire is gone."

He shrugged. "It's all I've got."

Mando made to grab the tracking fobs, but was quickly stopped by the agent's hand.

"Save the theatrics," he muttered before releasing a harsh sigh. "Fine, I'll..." Reaching into his pocket, he brought out another small handful of units. "I can do Calamari Flan, but I can only pay half."

Kyla could see the gears turning in the bounty hunter's mind. Finally, his head tilted- he came to a decision. "Fine."

He placed the fobs back on the table and scooped up the payment, passing it over to the medic, who began her usual process of counting.

"Now. I imagine you'll be asking about your next job." He pulled out a few pucks from his bag with a hum. "I have a bail jumper..."

A small tap at her inner thigh nearly forced a gasp from her throat. Nearly.

"A bail jumper..."

Mando was bored. She could tell by the way his taps turned into small, affectionate rubs over her pulse.

"Another bail jumper... a wanted smuggler-"

"I'll take them all." Mando reached for the discs, only to get suddenly cut off.

"Now, hold on. There are other members of the Guild, and this is all I have."

"Why so slow?" he asked, with a hint of annoyance lacing his already icy tone.

"It's not slow at all, actually. Very busy. They just don't want to pay Guild rates." With a roll of his eyes, he added, "They don't mind if things get sloppy."

After briefly getting distracted in stroking Kyla's leg a pause, Mando asked, "What's your highest bounty?"

He sighed. "Not much. Five thousand."

"That won't even cover fuel, these days."

"Or medicine," the female muttered under her breath. "Bacta prices keep going up."

Karga hummed once more, before slowly leaning towards them. "There is one job."

Kyla shivered. Her gut told her that something was about to go down.

Mando seemed to have noticed it too. "Let's see the puck."

"No puck," the agent replied. "Face to face. Direct commission. Deep pocket."

She looked at the man with a slight frown. "Is it underworld?"

"All I know is, no chain code." Out of his pocket, he pulled out a chit card and offered it to the bounty hunter. "Do you want the chit or not?"

[...]

"I don't like this," Kyla finally said as they stepped out of the cantina. "I can tell that it's underworld. Maker knows if it's..." A shiver ran down her spine. "Former Empire."

Mando watched his partner through the visor of his helmet. He had enough sense to trust in her instincts. "Should we turn it down, then?"

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Normally, I would be selfish and say yes. But..." She patted her pockets for the credit bag she always carried, and showed it to him. "We're running low. On medicine, food, and money."

"Then I'll head there on my own." He raised his hand as if to touch her, then quickly lowered it. They were in public. "Will you be at the markets, then?"

Another sigh escaped her chest. "Yes. Hopefully I can still bargain with some of them."

"Okay." His helmet was trained on her. For some reason, he seemed very... hyper focused. "I'll be going down later today. Meet me there."

Her eyes widened. "You want me to... Are you sure? From what you told me, an outsider doesn't belong there."

"You're with me. I trust you."

Her cheeks flared with heat; she hoped that he didn't notice. He did. "Okay."

Once again, his hand was raised, only for it to drop to his side. "Good." And with a nod, he slipped into the crowd.

She watched his helmet until the familiar shine flickered out of sight, his words still bouncing around inside her mind.

I trust you.

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: thank god no one reads my Mando works anymore cuz then they would have to deal with my bullshit XD

Edit: read chapter 2! ^^

[ichika27]

Mairimashita! Iruma-kun ep 19 (1)

Grandpa’s here!

Anyways, since a lot happened this episode and I took too many screenshots I don’t wanna throw away, I’d be making this 2 parts. It means 2 post of me just fangirling over this show hahaha

I’ll be posting this on time unlike the last few weeks since this’ll be long (for me) and I wanna get this off my mind already :)

Okay, so while Iruma was confronting senpai, this was happening somewhere else.

Remember that Kalego-sensei and Robin-sensei are trying to do something about this incident, too and now that they know what they’re dealing with, Robin-sensei shows us his powers. That magic arrow can get to it’s target no matter what and nothing could stop it. It goes past the barrier and straight towards the building and into the room itself where Iruma’s grandpa is.

When grandpa sees the letter, he went ‘Ight, I’mma head out’ and left. XD

Grandpa was on his way when the fireworks exploded and part of me is really happy he saw it. It’s Iruma’s idea after all and it worked even though it nearly got used as a weapon of mass destruction.

Speaking of which, the fireworks weren’t really safe. Shouldn’t be surprised anymore as it was turned into a super-powered bomb and it was supposed to be able to destroy the school.

Grandpa used his powers to stop them mid-air and then launch them around the school and not in it. The result that I sadly wasn’t able to take a screenshot of is some kinda fountain-like firework. It’s pretty awesome and everyone at school thought it was part of the show.

They looks so badass walking together like that.

Everyone shows off their abilities (which I thought was overkill) when finally confronting Kiriwo-senpai. To be honest, I thought this was nice? I mean look, Kiriwo-senpai has been looked down upon all his life for being ‘weak’ and now all these powerful demons are ready to give it their all against him just in case which means, in a way, they consider him strong enough to be worthy of this treatment (also he’s now a criminal so...).

Uh, so Kiriwo-senpai wanted to see others despair but it failed. He’s okay though cause he enjoyed feeling despaired himself. Like some kinda sadomasochist. Junko Enoshima, is that you? (Senpai could fit in the Dangaronpa universe, don’t you think? lol)

Everyone is understandably creeped out by his reaction to all this and their reaction to it is making senpai happier. Like they say, don’t feed the troll haha. Anyways, he’s on his way to jail now.

He did leave Iruma a message.

Meaning: I’m just a minor boss and there’d be more.

Okay, I made a whole ass post about senpai a few days ago and it’s sad he’s in jail now so he’s not gonna be part of the show anymore (unless they give him a comeback? Please?). Seeing this aftermath though, he got thwarted but instead of getting mad or lashing out or making threats, he quietly and calmly lets himself get arrested and even smiled. I don’t think he’s a super bad person. I also do think he can be redeemed.

I dunno what punishment awaits senpai but I do hope that he gets better from there.

Oh and since I didn’t really put it in the post last time, ‘Ancestral Return’ is like, the condition wherein demons have the same instincts or something from the demons of old. You know, like senpai and like Baal who wants chaos and not peace cause they like that better. Seeing how many people we’re part of the Magic Tools Batra back then, Iruma better watch out.

You can’t hear it but they’re all cheering for Iruma. They were all informed the wonderful and beautiful fireworks display from earlier was Iruma’s idea. They all loved it! Ameri was so happy, too.

In his little speech, Iruma credited his batra - he and his friends + Kiriwo-senpai - in creating the firework. Even if senpai tried to kill them all, Iruma doesn’t completely hate the guy either. It’s sad senpai didn’t just abandon his evil plans... he could’ve been here to see this.

The trio is reunited! Yay!!

It’s sad seeing Iruma not be able to explain to the two what happened to senpai yet, though.

Anyways, the main festival is gonna start and so the three decided they’re gonna spend time together and have fun! They deserve it after all this. And the fireworks display helped in hiding what really nearly happened since everyone thought it - along with the maze and stuff - was part of a surprise show.

Still don’t know how to feel about this guy. I mean he’s part of the whole ‘Destroy the School’ plan of Kiriwo-senpai’s and one of the people who influenced the idea but we still don’t know enough about him. At least, I’m still not entirely sure what kind of person he is. He doesn’t seem that mad about what happened though... I think.

--

I’ll be cutting this off here. Part 2 of this is the 2nd part of the episode with the festival. It’ll be shorter than this one though.

[sirloozelite]

Prompt: Both Ahsoka and Kanan get couched on the same night. They decide to meet up for a few drinks (which turns into many drinks) and both return home drunk which gets them couched again.

Hey anon... here is the prompt all written out for you as promised. Hope you like it. I took your idea and expanded it a bit, as well as changed a few things around to fit an idea I’ve had for a while. Don’t worry though, it still keeps what you requested intact, just in a different way that I doubt you will be expecting. Hope it’s not too depressing. 

Enjoy

Oh, and I will be uploading this to my fanfic/archive account as well as a parting gift before I vanish for a bit, so yay for that. XD

Ahsoka and Kanan ‘Couched’ Prompt

“Oh come on Hera! It was just a small mission! Ahsoka needed my help!”

The only response Kanan got was the slamming of a door in his face, one that narrowly missed impacting his nose in the process. Kanan supposed that at least was lucky. Dealing with both a pissed off wife and a broken nose was not something he needed right now. 

Sighing to himself, Kanan turned on his heel and allowed the Force to guide him. He may not be able to see with his eyes anymore, but he still knew his way around places he was familiar with. The hallway leading from the spare bedroom in the Tano-Larte residence was no different. 

It had started out innocently enough. Both Kanan and Hera had decided to pay Ahsoka and Kaeden a visit for their monthly catch up. As the only other couple they really knew and enjoyed spending time with, it had become something of a tradition to visit the apartment in the middle of the fields of Alderaan’s moon. 

At first it had gone well. The four had caught up, traded stories, and even played a round of Sabacc with each other. Kaeden had somehow won, a feat that had astonished the two Force users in the room. 

And then that damn bird had arrived! Morai, Ahsoka called her. 

Kanan had nothing against the bird personally. In fact, he loved animals. 

Morai however had not been nice that day. Upon arrival she had dropped a small holorecorder onto the table in the middle of the seventh round of Sabacc, one with a recorded message from Maul.

That one message had opened up a can of worms for both Ahsoka and Kanan. Maul had proceeded to thank them both for their help in investigating a Sith Temple, and thwarting a Sith cult from rising again. 

Naturally, both Hera and Kaeden had been furious. They had demanded to know why they hadn’t been told about the mission and what it entailed. They had demanded to know why they hadn’t thought it wise to inform their partners of the possible dangers. 

And then, stupidly, Ahsoka had said that they didn’t want to worry them, and that it wasn’t really all that dangerous in the first place!

Kaeden had stormed out at that point, disappearing up stairs with a distraught Togruta pursuing her. 

Hera meanwhile had thrown her drink at Kanan, before retreating upstairs to the spare bedroom, but not before banishing him from the bed for the night. 

So now Kanan found himself heading back down the stairs alone, without any company for the night. 

Still, it could be worse. At least he’d have a semi decent place to sleep. 

Or so he thought. 

Upon entering the living room of Ahsoka’s apartment he sensed the presence of the Togruta herself, as well as heard her quiet mumbling to herself. The Force projected an image of the Togrutan woman, curled up on the couch, the very same couch he had intended to make his bed for the night. 

Realizing what had happened, Kanan sighed and spoke. 

“You too huh?”

“Yep.” Came the reply from Ahsoka, before she turned over and sat up, hands resting on her head. Her signature in the Force was one of deep distraught. Clearly Kaeden wasn’t happy with her if she too had been banished to the couch, and Ahsoka being Ahsoka, she was taking it very badly. 

Moving over to sit next to her, Kanan wrapped an arm around Ahsoka’s shoulders, offering what comfort he could. He knew this feeling well. 

“We should have told them, shouldn’t we?” 

“Probably, though if we had done they'd only insisted on coming along too, and we both know that’s exactly what we were trying to prevent.” Kanan replied to Ahsoka question, recalling their discussion before heading off on the mission in the first place. They hadn’t wanted Kaeden or Hera to worry about them as they so often did. It wasn’t like they were going alone after all. They had each other, and Maul, to watch their backs. 

Besides, Sith Temples were not the sort of place either Kanan or Ahsoka wanted their partners visiting. 

Still, it had resulted in both of them being banished to the couch, so now they would have to make the most of it. 

Patting the Togruta on the back, Kanan rose from beside her and moved over to a nearby cupboard in the kitchen, the Force guiding him all the way, painting the image before him as he moved. Upon reaching the cupboard he sought, Kanan opened the door, moving his hand inside to extract a tall bottle of wine that Kanan himself had gifted Ahsoka for her lifeday. Now seemed like a good time to open and share it.

Returning to the couch with wine bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other, Kanan sat back down beside Ahsoka, placing both glasses down on the table before the couch and pouring them a glass of wine each. 

“Thanks.” Came Ahsoka’s response as she reached forward and picked up her glass, downing the entire contents in one gulp. 

“Might want to slow down there buddy. You don’t exactly handle your drink well from what I remember.”  Kanan spoke, reaching a hand out to stop Ahsoka from pouring herself a second glass. 

“Why the kriff not. I can’t do anything right it seems. May as well just sit back and accept my fate. Not like anyone would miss me if I died of liver failure after all is it?”

Despite his lack of vision, Kanan’s eyes widened in surprise at Ahsoka’s words. Did the Togruta really think that no one cared for her? Had Kaeden banishing her to the couch had such a profound effect on her that she was contemplating drinking herself to death?!

Kanan knew from personal experience just how dangerous a mindset that was. He had once been nothing but a drunken outcast, grieving over the loss of his Master and the betrayal of the Clones he had called his friends. What Ahsoka was going through was different, but at the same time much the same. She had, in her mind, tried to protect Kaeden.

And Kaeden had responded harshly, kicking her out of her own bed. Ahsoka owned the apartment after all. If anyone should have left it should of been Kaeden. 

But she hadn’t left. Kaeden could have very well packed her bags. Instead, she had chosen to stay, albeit separate from her partner for the night, but she was still here.

“Perhaps I should have just stayed behind when the Death Star exploded. Everyone knows I’ve got darkness inside of me. Safer for you all if I hadn’t come back really. Or maybe I should have just let Vader kill me on Malachor.”

“Ok, that’s enough of that.” Kanan interrupted, keeping his voice steady, even with the heartbreak he was currently feeling. How could Ahsoka even think like that? It was only a small argument that had happened. Nothing worth contemplating one's own mortality. 

Oh perhaps there was something more. Ahsoka had always kept her cards close to her chest. She didn’t reveal anything she didn’t want or need to. If Kanan were to guess, Ahsoka had likely been carrying around some inner guilt or self hatred for years over what had happened. 

And now that she was at one of the lowest points he had ever seen her, it was all coming out. 

Kanan was just glad that he was the one to receive it. He understood better than anyone else what it meant to be lost. 

“Enough of what!” Ahsoka spat in reply, pushing aside Kanan’s hand and grabbing the bottle of wine again, pouring a second glass and consuming it equally as quick as the first one. 

“Thinking you’re not worth something Ahsoka. I know better than most what that feels like, and I sympathise with you I do. I could say many things about how you are being ridiculous or pathetic and a coward, but none of those would help, nor would any false pleasantries that people so often pass around about feeling sorry for you and understanding that you need some time. None of those help in my experience.”

“So what does Caleb!” Ahsok spat again, using Kanan’s previous name in an obvious attempt to anger him. It didn’t work. As far as he was concerned, Ahsoka was one of two people allowed to use that name in private. The other was naturally Hera, but the Twi’lek refused. 

“Well, slowing down on the wine would help first Ahsoka.” Kanan replied, taking a gentle sip of his own drink in the process before continuing. “All you need to know is that if for some reason someone decided to harm even a single metaphorical hair on your body, they would very quickly become public enemy number one with lots of people in this universe. Kaeden, Maul, Obi-Wan, Ezra, myself and Hera, hell, even Hondo would hunt down whoever so much as hurt you to the end of the galaxy, or even to the end of other galaxies and make them suffer, just as you would do for us.”

“And what if it’s not someone hurting me physically? How do you make a mental state suffer?” Ahsoka replied, her voice quieter now, bordering on tears. 

“I’ll admit that's one of the hardest fights out of all of them. Seriously they make facing Sidious seem like a simple levitation trick.”

Kanan’s response got a small chuckle out of the Togruta, for which Kanan was glad. Just that alone proved that Ahsoka was fighting against whatever mental stress she was suffering through. 

“In all seriousness though, all you can do is take it one day at a time. Every time you make it to the end of one day, you’ve beaten whatever mental stress you have. The more you do that, the less of a grasp it will have over you, no matter how many times it tries to come back in whatever form it pleases.”

Ahsoka nodded her head slowly, her signature in the Force calming from the rapturous storm it had been moments earlier, understanding settling in.

“So, you don’t think Kaeden’s gonna leave me?” Again, Ahsoka’s voice was timid and on the edge of tears. 

And once again, Kanan knew exactly how she felt. He too had wondered in the past if Hera would just abandon him after an argument. He had over time realized that she would never do such a thing, and if Kanan knew Kaeden well enough, he knew that she too would never leave Ahsoka. 

And if she did…

“She won’t leave you Ahsoka… and if for some selfish reason she did, then once again, we’d all hunt her down and make her pay. No one stabs our friend in the back and gets away with it.”

Kanan’s comment was meant to appear as a jest, something that again Ahsoka chuckled at, a grateful smile coming to her face. Despite that, Kanan knew full well that part of his comment was not a jest. If anyone ever dared hurt his hero… well…

Nothing would stop him from avenging her. 

“Thanks Kanan. I’ll try not to let it get me down anymore. I just…” Ahsoka began to speak again, her tone more stable this time, yet still shaky. 

“It’s hard, I know. You don’t need to explain yourself to me Ahsoka. Just know that I’m always up for a chat if need be.” Kanan interrupted, finishing Ahsoka’s word for her. She needn’t struggle anymore than she currently was. 

“Yeah.. ok. Thanks buddy.”

“Anytime buddy.”

*******************************

Hours passed by with both members of the ‘couched’ squad finding little to do but talk. Both of their minds were too occupied to sleep. 

The bottle of wine had slowly been consumed more through the night. Upon realizing how quickly she had drunk her first two glasses, Ahsoka had promptly slowed down, drinking her third one at a much slower pace. 

As it turned out, that third drink had been her last. Kanan had gone on the drink the rest of the wine by himself, bringing his total to five glasses, a feat that also led to the bottle being completely empty. 

In the end, both had dozed off, Ahsoka curled up on the couch as before, whilst Kanan took to the large armchair. It hadn’t been the most comfortable night of his life, but it could have been worse. 

Waking up to a slight headache from the alcohol, Kanan’s first thoughts were to the sounds of movement in the kitchen. Widening his already partially dulled senses, Kanan reached out with the Force to find Ahsoka, up and on the move, preparing what looked like a breakfast for the four of them. 

Rising from his chair, Kanan called out to Ahsoka. 

“Hey? You doing ok after last night? Hold your alcohol alright?”

“Yeah, surprisingly, just a minor headache. How about you?” Ahsoka responded, shooting him a smile that Kanan could see through the Force in the process. 

“Same here. Making something nice?”

“Yeah. Figured it’d be a nice apology for them both. I did drag you along on that mission after all.”

“Quit blaming yourself Ahsoka. I volunteered to help.”

“Maybe. But thanks again for last night.”

Sending a rush of support through the Force to Ahsoka, Kanan moved towards the table where the empty wine glasses and bottle still stood. 

However, upon reaching down to pick them up and move them to be washed, an aggravated voice echoed throughout the room. 

“Are you kidding me! We kick the two of you out for the night for a damn good reason, and you come down here and drink alcohol all night! I bet the two of you were laughing at us all kriffing night!”

“Kaeden I… it’s not…”

“No… it’s exactly how it looks Ahsoka! Don’t think your coming back to bed tonight! And don’t think making a breakfast is gonna make up for it either!”

The anger in Kaeden’s voice was shocking, so much so that even Hera, who had entered behind the human woman now had a complete look of surprise on her face. 

Hera’s reaction however, nor Kaeden’s anger were what Kanan was focusing on. Instead, all his attention was directed towards Ahsoka, and they way he felt her spirits shatter, instantly undoing all the repair he had helped her achieve the previous night. 

“Ahso….”

Kanan barely got two syllables into her name before a loud crash echoed throughout the apartment, the shattering of plates following it. 

Self hatred had overtaken the Togruta, resulting in her flipping all of the pots and pans she had prepared food with over onto the floor, several plates following them and breaking into many sharp pieces. It occurred to Kanan in that moment that Ahsoka was barefooted and surrounded by various sharp objects that would easily puncture skin. 

“Oh yeah, real mature Ahsoka. Just can’t accept the fact that your wrong.”

Kanan flinched at the harshness of the words that left Kaeden’s mouth, knowing in that moment it was the wrong thing to say to the Togruta who was suffering.

Ahsoka’s response was exactly what Kanan expected it would be. The Togruta huffed before moving across the kitchen, stepping on sharp fragments of broken plates in the process without a care in the world, likely slicing into the skin in the process. 

The Togruta stormed through the room, past Kaeden and Hera, ignoring both of them in the process, before heading out into the hallway and out of sight. 

The only indication of where Ahsoka had gone that Kanan got was the loud slam of the front door, followed by the slamming down of mental shields in his mind, blocking everything and everyone out. 

In that moment, anger roused within Kanan. He had told Ahsoka last night what he would do to anyone who messed with her. Kaeden was no exception. 

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Kanan boomed across the room, turning all her attention to Kaeden, who looked back at him with shock. 

“What?” Came Kaeden’s response, clearly not understanding why Kanan was so angry at her. She would regret that. 

“That! You know for a qualified Doctor you certainly suck at figuring some things out!”

“Excuse me!”

“Kanan?”

Kaeden’s own anger was directed at Kanan now, whilst Hera was watching with deep concern. 

But Kanan didn’t care. He would make Kaeden see just how wrong she was, and just how fragile Ahsoka currently was. 

“The sole reason we didn’t tell you about the mission was because we didn’t want to worry the two of you! However, instead of having faith in us, the pair of you reacted instead with anger rather than understanding! Hera I can understand, that’s the sort of relationship we have! But you Kaeden?! Are you even aware of the effect your reaction had on Ahsoka!!!”

“What are you saying Kanan?” Hera’s soft voice responded for Kaeden, the dark skinned woman currently stunned at the way the normally calm and serene blind Jedi was outright shouting at her. 

Pushing himself on, Kanan continued. 

“Your girlfriend is suffering Kaeden! She thinks that your gonna leave her over this! Hell I wouldn’t be surprised if that was always on her mind! That wine last night? You know what she told me! She said it would have been better if we had left her on the Death Star when it exploded. Or how she wished that Vader had killed her on Malachor! Ahsoka is afraid of her own self! She’s afraid to lose what she has! And by shouting at her and blaming her for trying to keep you safe all you have done if fulfill all of those dark thoughts that Ahsoka is currently having!”

Kaeden face fell in an instant, realization setting in to her. She understood now. 

But Kanan wasn’t done. 

“If you want to keep her by your side Kaeden you need to get out there and find her before it’s too late. Ahsoka was a Rebel Spymaster for years after all. She’s an expert at disappearing! Do you want that to happen?”

“No! I… kriff!”

“Kriff indeed! Let me make one thing clear for you Kaeden! Rex… Maul… hell even Leia… they’d all seek to punish you if you dared harm Ahsoka. But compared to them, anything I would do would be ten times worse. No one, and I mean no one, harms Ahsoka on my watch! Now… get out there and find your girlfriend before I think of something else to say!”

With that Kaeden nodded, turning and sprinting out of the doorway, her voice calling for Ahsoka in the distance. 

Taking a deep breath, Kanan calmed himself down, centring himself in the Force once more. 

“Are you ok?” Hera’s soft voice was quite the contrast to Kanan’s shouting only seconds before, and was a welcome sound to Kanan’s ears. 

“Yeah.. yeah I’m fine. Ahsoka just told me some things last night that reminded me of, well, me. I wanted to help her, so we pretty much just stayed up all night talking. The wine was just there as something to do. I thought I was getting through, but then Kaeden came down and…”

“And she upset Ahsoka without realizing what it was all about, I understand.”

“Do you think they’ll be ok?” Kanan asked, unsure for the first time in several hours. Around Ahsoka he had to be the strong one for now. 

Around Hera however Kanan could reveal his true feelings. He was worried for Ahsoka. She deserved to be happy. 

“They’ll be fine, especially now that Kaeden knows how Ahsoka is feeling.”

“Yeah… I hope so.” Kanan replied, moving over to the kitchen to begin picking up the various broken pieces of plate. 

A few moments passed by before Hera spoke again, this time her voice sounding slightly annoyed. 

“Hang on a minute! Is this the bottle of wine you got Ahsoka for her lifeday to share with us! You two drank it all by yourselves!”

“Um… yes?” 

“... you know your still banished to the couch for this right? Can’t believe you didn’t wait for me or Kaeden to have some too!”

Sighing to himself, a smirk coming to his face in the process, Kanan replied. 

“Yeah… I know.”

[demonsofhunting]

All My Sins - Chapter 16

Pairing: priest!Cas x demon!Dean 

Summary: Things are getting really bad for our desperate lovers. How the hell are they supposed to fight these hellhounds, including the one demon that is left? Everything is falling apart...

Warnings: sweet aaaaaand terrifying ANGST, lots of blood, the strong violence continues once more...XD

Words: about 1200

A/N: I`M BACK OMG AHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D I know that I left you at a horrible cliffhanger last chapter and I'm so sorry for that. XD I just needed to take a break. ;) But now everything is coming back together, and I'm heading in a great direction. I hope you forgive me haha, and I'm sending tons of hugs your way once more! <3 Soooo, another chapter of sweet torture. *evil laughter* They almost made it through, don't worry. XD From now on I will update normally, so every Friday. I love u guys! <3

PS: I know that there are three hellhounds in the gif, but only two in the fic. But the gif captures this chapter perfectly, so...we have to deal with that XD

Catch up here ( Masterlist ) :D

I hope you`ll like it! Enjoy! Aaaaand let me know what you think! <3

Dean Winchester closes his eyes. He inhales, deeply, followed by a slow exhale. He doesn't want to open them again. Ever. But he does anyway. Ready to fight. I have to. "What up, asshole?" he mutters, slowly walking backwards. The hellhound growls, low and terrifying. Dean's heart skips a beat and he stops breathing for a moment. Well shit. The hand, in which he still holds Meg's blade, starts to shake, uncontrollably. Suddenly, it seems small and unnecessary. It's way too small to beat the hounds of hell...I'm fucked. There are two of them, still just having a strange kind of staring contest with him - while growling and drooling onto the ground. They wait for me to make my next move. They want me to run away, want to hunt me down...want to feast on my flesh. Or not. In this exact moment, the bigger one of them crouches down, just to jump into Dean's direction, who cries out in surprise and attacks the monster in hurry. The young man even manages to stab the beast right into one of its red eyes. Black blood spills on his clothes, and he quickly makes a run for it, as the other hellhound begins to approach him too. The adrenaline, that pumped through his veins before, is suddenly just gone without a trace. Trembling fear takes its place. "CAS!" He doesn't even care anymore. Just wants to save the only thing he has left. I have to get him. What if the other demon already got to him. What - He can feel his throat getting all sore like he's about to cry. But he doesn't. There is no time. He just runs as fast as he can. Runs for his life. Once again. "CAAAAASSSS!" Am I that for away from the place where I lost him...? I don't even know anymore. Everything looks the same! Then he hears a familiar voice shouting in the distance, desperately. "DEAN!" Relief makes his muscles relax for a stupid second.                                                Cas is okay. And that's everything that matters. I wanted to get away - just to save him. But I can't do that. I need him. He needs me. I'm gonna - He is so happy to hear his love's voice that he suddenly forgets everything around him...and stumbles. He falls to the ground, tasting the dirt and mud with sudden brutality. "Fuck!" That's all he can say, but it's already too late. Suddenly, huge claws are everywhere, ripping him apart... He never felt that much pain in his whole life. But all he can think about is Castiel Novak, the man who did everything for him - until the very end. I just wish that I could say goodbye to him... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"CAAAAAAASSS!" Castiel hears Dean's scream and freezes, immediately. Keep running, idiot! He escalates again, even though he is more than just a little out of breath. Dean... "Angel...where did you go, honey?" the demon mocks way behind him. At least Cas managed to get some room between him and his enemy. Yay. His chest feels like his skin is getting ripped off, slowly, and it gets worse with every single step he takes. Nothing compared to the screams that he hears out of Dean's direction, though. He can't help it. "DEAN!" A few more meters...almost done... Every step takes an eternity. "Angel...I'm coming to get you! I'm gonna eat your heart!" the demon screams, his voice echoing through the dark trees. He is getting closer and closer...looks like he finally understood that he might actually lose Cas if he doesn't try harder. "WHERE ARE YOU?!" Oh no. Now he's getting angry. The priest opens his mouth again. "D - " In the moment, he hears the most terrifying scream he ever heard. Filled with unbelievable pain and sorrow...absolute despair. It makes his eyes water and his blood run icy cold. His limbs are numb, he just somehow stumbles forward. A few more steps, made like he's captured in a horrible trance of death and gore. Then he sees it. Them. Dean is lying on the ground, fighting against two horrible monsters. They look like big dogs...monstrous dogs. And they are literally ripping him into shreds. His clothes are nothing more than bloody materials without any shape, his chest is covered in claw marks. Blood is streaming out of several wounds. An hour ago, Dean Winchester had it all together somehow, even though the situation was that what you could call pure shit. But now he is screaming like...well, like he is getting skinned. Castiel is about to just pass out, but he fights it.                                     Dean...I'm...I have to do something! He sprints forward, tackling the biggest monster of them. He doesn't even think about it, not even a bloody second. Just does it. Recklessly. His mind has been shut off, to exhausted by all the traumatic things he had to go through during the last days...weeks. The priest collides with the living monstrosity. It hurts, god, it hurts so bad. Like he ran right against a stone wall. "C - Cas!" Then the other big dog hits him in the face, brutally. It smacks him to the ground - obviously, not before throwing him backwards against a tree to cause more damage to him. Castiel could swear that he just heard his spine break as his back collided with the hard wood. Now he lies on the ground, unable to move. I...I can't breathe. His face feels like it's on fire. He can't see anything. There is just a dark, disgusting red. Dean... Cas makes a weak attempt to get on his feet, or at least crawl away...but he doesn't make it. Before he can realise anything - or gain his sight back - two firm hands grab him, and pull him up, violently. He tries to get free, but the demon is way to strong for him to handle. Especially in this poor condition. "Gotcha!" the creature purrs, then the priest feels a sharp pain in his shoulder and screams. "And? How does it feel, huh? Actually, we wanted to kill you in front of Winchester, but things have changed, I guess. Let's just improve" the demon giggles, and turns the knife around that is sticking out of Castiel's flesh. The cut is deep. That's it. At least I tried. Tears are streaming down his face as he bites his bottom lip until he can taste his own blood. Then so it be.. At least Dean and I can be together when I'll join him in hell...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Enough!" A firm voice, followed by a loud gun shot. Two shots. Three. Four. Five. Then the demon begins to scream, terrifyingly. He loses his grip, and the priest sinks to the ground, almost about to pass out. He blinks, trying his best to clear his sight. "D - Dean...?" he rasps. But it's an unfamiliar voice that answers. "He's badly hurt, but he's strong enough to make it. Don't worry. He's going to be okay. The hell are you guys doing out here?!" 

( A/N: Next chapter on Januray 24, 2020 <3 )

That was chapter 16! Thank you so much for reading, and if you would like to leave a comment or reblog this shit, I will ove you forever! <3

Tag lists are open!

Destiel/Forever Tags: @adoptdontshoppets​ @rebeloftheseas @ablavalba​ @smodernlife​ @ignis-glaciesque​ @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel​ @xsghn @helpmeluci​ @trenchcoatsandfreckles​ @legendary-destiel​ @leahslovelyibrary

'All My Sins' Tags: @emodestielshipper​ @emumag​ @waywardtricksterangel​ @didntwanderstillgotlost​ @angel-e-v-a​ @too-old-for-fangirling-but-idc​ @justanotherfangirl511​

[i-heart-danchou]

Stay with me

This is for bottom Erwin week prompt Freeform but I guess it could also be for Bathing so yay I sort of technically did all of them, cool.  This is a canon rewrite, and I put some of my medical knowhow into play for this one (I actually did surgery on a cat with injuries similar to Erwin’s XD, he’s fine).  Also I quite liked this idea so if anyone’s interested I might keep going with it.  ------------------ “Captain Levi!”  Floch was panting, sweating, his muscles were quivering as he pulled himself up onto the roof with Erwin strapped to his back.  “The commander— he— he’s critically wounded!  His side’s been hit, his organs are coming out, I can’t stop the bleeding I… I thought… I thought maybe that injection you had could help.” Levi’s eyes were wide, his mouth ajar, his heart thundering away in his chest.  Time seemed to slow for a moment, and he clutched the syringe to his chest.  He imagined a future with Erwin as a titan, the colossal titan at that… a monster, a villain, a human being so unbelievably dangerous that no one would dare get close to him.  He imagined the light in Erwin's eyes getting dimmer and dimmer, the more of himself that he sacrificed to humanity.  No.  The choice was obvious.  “Eren.”  He muttered.  “Give me your gas, all of it.” Eren was crying, obviously very confused.  “Captain?” “I said give me your gas!”  Levi practically threw the syringe at him, not wanting to waste one more damn second.  He replenished his fuel supply and strapped Erwin to his back.  A hospital.  A hospital.  They had to fucking get to a hospital.  

He didn’t care about Bertholt, or Armin or whatever fucking drama was going on in Shiganshina, he had to help Erwin, he didn’t have any fucking time.

Obviously carrying 92 kilograms of dead weight made the gas canisters tremendously less efficient, but Levi couldn’t think about that.  

Come on… come on…. “Stay with me, Erwin.  I’m getting you help, I’m going to get you better.”

Erwin groaned in pain, or maybe in delirium, and his head flopped forward onto Levi’s shoulder.  

“I’ve got you.”  Levi whispered.  “I’m gonna get you home.”  

He found a horse just at the entrance of Wall Maria— a runaway, perhaps?  There had been so much chaos, he wasn’t surprised that they hadn’t managed to keep all the animals together.  Thank fuck, thank fuck.  There weren’t enough trees between here and Wall Rose to get him home, he’d need this fucking horse— Erwin needed this fucking horse.  

He mounted the beast, secured his commander, and galloped as hard as he could.  “Stay with me, Erwin.  Look at that beautiful sky.”  Levi had never known fear like this.  Every second he wasted Erwin’s pulse was getting weaker, and it made him sick to see the commander’s blood seeping down the horse’s side.  

“Stay with me.”  

**

They charged to the wall and Levi sent up a signal flare a good 500 meters before he arrived.  The gate needed to be open, he didn’t fucking have time for this.  “Commander Erwin is wounded!  I need help!”  He called out, and he watched as the garrison scrambled to let him back into the walls.  Eyes went wide when they saw the state of the commander, and a group of medics descended to help.

Levi was loath to let Erwin go, even into the hands of qualified professionals who would try their best to help him.  He followed, he followed, and he ordered them to be careful.  “Please.”  He whispered as the doors of the operating theater swung shut.  “Please help him.”

Hours passed.  Levi sat with his head in his hands, titan blood all but evaporated off of him, Erwin’s blood caked and dry in his uniform.  Please.  He was begging the universe.  Please let him be alright.

A surgeon emerged by nightfall, blood soaked through his sleeves, speckled on his glasses, his hair limp against his forehead with sweat.  “Captain Levi.”  He said somberly.  

Levi stood up, his heart in his throat.  The doctor was hesitating, and Levi felt the acid burning in his mouth.  “Out with it.”  He hissed, his eyes narrow.  

“The commander is… alive.”  

Levi’s lip twitched.  Why was he hesitating?  What was he so afraid of?  

“He suffered extensive damage to his abdominal wall, including full thickness lesions penetrating into his abdominal cavity.  There was damage to his small intestine, portions of his bowel, and one of his kidneys.  We’ve cobbled his intestinal tract together as best as we could, but there was barely enough muscle available to close the abdominal cavity.  We’ve taken a graft from his leg, but it may not survive.  He’s experienced significant hemorrhage and was in severe hypovolemic shock at the time of presentation.  He… may have irreversible brain damage.  He may not know you if he wakes up, and he is likely to be less intelligent than he was before this happened.  If he survives the night, there is an extremely high probability that he will develop septic peritonitis.  If that happens, there is not much else we can do.  His intestinal repairs may also fail, which will only worsen and compound matters.  He may not be able to use the toilet properly anymore. He probably won’t ever walk again.”  The doctor licked his lips.  “If he makes it to the end of the week, he has a fair chance of survival.  Do you have any questions?”

Levi put a hand on the wall to steady himself.  What had he done?  He’d condemned Erwin to a life worse than death… a life without his mind, his mobility, his… his dignity, even.  Why had… what…. He swallowed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Can I see him?”

“No.  I’m sorry captain, his infection risk is too high right now and… and you are heavily contaminated from the battle.  I would recommend you go home for some rest.  Things will be more clear in the morning.”

“I’m not leaving him.”  Levi snarled.  “I’m not.”

The doctor was weary.  “Fine.  There are showers that you can use, if you wish.  Ask one of the nurses to assist you.”

**

The tatters of the SC returned in time, to thunderous cheers and celebrations.  Levi wasn’t with them, and he didn’t care to be.  His place was with Erwin, and he would reap whatever horrible consequences resulted from his choice.  If Erwin needed to be cared for forever, if he needed someone to feed him, to bathe him, to wipe his fucking ass he would do it.   All of this was Levi’s fault, and nothing would tell him otherwise.

Hanji joined him at the hospital, a thick white gauze plastered over her eye.  “How is he?”  She asked cautiously.

“Bad.  They think he has brain damage. He’s crippled.  Everything is fucked up.  He’s probably going to die in horrible pain.”

Hanji was quiet.  “Why didn’t you give the injection to Erwin, Levi?  Why did you do this?”

Levi glared at her, his anger easily melting into grief and pain and remorse.  “He didn’t want to be a monster.”  He offered lamely.  “He deserved to see the truth.”  

Hanji put her arm around Levi’s shoulders and hugged him as tight as he’d allow.  “He did.”  She agreed.  “We’ll just have to see what happens.”

**

Erwin didn’t die that night, nor the next morning.  Levi was allowed to sit with him provided he followed the hospital’s sterility protocols, and he sat beside Erwin in a white gown and mask, watching him writhe in agony as his recovery progressed.  

He was pale, clammy, unresponsive, his pupils dilated and his groans heartbreaking.  Even in his delirium there was no respite from his agony, and Levi’s hair was standing on end.  “Can’t you do anything?? Give him something for the pain, at least??”  He demanded, his eyes wild.  

“He’s on the best medication we have.”  The doctor explained.  “We’re trying to control the fever, but this is a natural part of surgical recovery I’m afraid.  I’ve heard he’s quite strong.”

“The strongest.”  Levi assured him, casting a wayward glance at Erwin’s recumbent frame.  “The greatest man I know.”

“Then he will fight, he will endure, and he may survive.”  The doctor patted Levi on the shoulder.  “Support him however you can, captain.”

Levi did everything he could to keep Erwin comfortable.  He fluffed his pillows, he wiped his forehead, he even helped to change his bedpan.  While Erwin fought to stay alive, Levi sat beside him and whispered in his ear.  

“We took back Wall Maria.  Humanity’s first major victory, and of course you led us.  They got to the basement, Erwin.  They found out the truth.  I’ll tell you everything when you wake up.”

About four days in Erwin opened his eyes once more.  Every movement was strained and agonized, but it was obvious he was doing his best to conceal his distress.  He sat up with some difficulty, but he managed.  His eyes scanned the room and he smiled when he saw Levi.  

“Levi..”  He managed.

“Erwin.”  Levi breathed.  He knew him.  Erwin knew who he was.  “Say something smart.”  

Erwin laughed then, only a slight chuckle but it was enough to send him into a spasm of agony, gripping at his side as he doubled over in pain.  

Levi’s eyes widened with alarm, and he rubbed Erwin’s back until he was through the worst of it.  “Fuck, Erwin.  I’m so sorry.  Are you okay?”

Erwin took a few moments to catch his breath.  The pain must have been excruciating, and Levi could see the whites of his eyes.  “Yeah.  I’ll be fine.”  He was visibly shaking by the time he righted himself, his face pale and slicked with sweat as he leaned back in the bed.  “What happened?”

“You got badly wounded by the beast titan.  Floch found you, he brought you to me.  I got you to a hospital.”  

Erwin nodded slowly.  “And… the mission?”

“A success, Erwin.  We did it, we took back wall Maria.  We got to the basement.  It’s all thanks to you.”

Erwin smiled then, and shut his eyes once more.  He was so weak, dammit.  He was so exhausted.  It hurt to see him like this.

**

The doctors kept Levi away for a while then, citing Erwin’s exhaustion and debility.  He needed some rest, and frankly Levi did too.  

He still didn’t want to leave the hospital, but it seemed like Erwin had rounded a corner and hopefully wasn’t in danger of imminent death anymore.  Hanji caught up with him at the barracks, grabbing his elbow as he barged into Erwin’s room.  “How is he?”  She demanded.

“Awake.  He seems all there too.  He’s not recovered yet, obviously, but…” Levi wasn’t a man who allowed himself to be optimistic, but the hope in his heart was creeping in whether he liked it or not.  

“He’s… going to want to be commander again, I presume.”

Levi hadn’t thought of that.  “Probably.  It’s who he is.”

Hanji looked very sad.  “He can’t, Levi.”  She had a copy of Erwin’s medical report in her hand, and Levi wondered if the doctors had dumbed down how bad it was for him.  “He’s going to need help for the rest of his life.  He can’t be an active member of the military.”

Levi’s hackles went up.  “So— so we throw him away?  Because his body can’t keep up anymore?  After all these years, after everything he’s lost, we just— we tell him to fuck off cause he’s wounded?”

“Fuck Levi, no.”  Hanji rubbed at her eyepatch.  “We just have to be realistic.  There’s a whole world out there, wanting to kill us.  We need a commander who can actively attend combat and make choices on the field.  Erwin is brilliant, he’s the best commander we’ve ever had but… Levi… he can’t anymore.  He can’t.”  

Levi’s blood felt cold.  “We need him, Hanji.  Humanity needs him.  You can’t tell him we don’t need him anymore.”  

Hanji put her hands on his shoulders and looked at him.  “Of course we need him.  But we have to be realistic.”  She bit her lip.  “I’ll be commander, and he can be my advisor.  He’ll remain on staff and I’ll be able to provide him with support workers if he needs them.  Do you want me to tell him?”

Levi shook his head.  “No.  He should hear it from me.”  She was right.  Of course she was right.  He had hobbled his commander, and his penance would be eternal.  

**

Erwin took the news better than Levi expected, but then again Erwin was extremely intelligent and he probably shouldn’t have been surprised.  Of course he knew he couldn’t be commander anymore.  Of course he did.

“That’s very generous of Hanji to offer.”  He said eventually, his hand running gingerly up his side.  “I’ll continue to help humanity in any way I can.”  

Erwin was using the formal commander language that Levi hated, but he felt it wasn’t his place to stop him.  Of course Erwin would keep fighting, not allow himself any time to rest.  He deserved a cabin by a lake, he deserved to retire and have a statue made of him in the town square of wall Sina.  But Erwin never stopped, and Erwin never rested.  

Despite his injuries, he kept moving, no matter how hard it was.  Erwin never, ever complained.  Levi was silent as he watched Erwin double over in pain when he ate something too rich for him, and he was silent when Erwin quivered from the exertion of trying to stand to relieve himself.  He offered a shoulder to support him, a hand when he needed it, and he kept his eyes forward.  No matter what else happened, he would preserve this man’s dignity.  

He helped Erwin into a wheelchair and pushed him through the hospital when he was finally discharged.  The sun was warm and soothing, the air was crisp and beautiful, and Erwin smiled as the gentle beams of light hit his skin.  

It was awful to see the top of Erwin’s head like this.  To be so much taller than he was, that Erwin was banished to this chair, unable to push himself forward at all by himself.  He swallowed his distaste.  It was worse for Erwin, and Levi refused to make this about himself.  

During his convalescence, Hanji had made some changes to the barracks to make them a little more accessible for Erwin.  His office had steadying bars screwed into the walls, the desk was adjusted so his chair could fit beneath it, and the bathroom was completely redesigned with his comfort in mind.  His bedroom had been refurnished as well; his bed softer and more comfortable, his sink and shelves shortened, and someone had thought to put a carpet and fresh flowers in too.  It felt homier.  

“Not bad.”  Levi commented, wheeling Erwin through so he could see the four square walls in which he would endure the rest of his life.  “I bet you’ll come up with some great war strategies here.  We’ll really need you from here on out.”

Erwin said nothing and licked his lips.  “Levi— I…”. His nose went a touch pink.  “I’m really sorry but— I need…”

Levi nodded and hooked Erwin’s arm around his shoulder.  He needed the toilet, and he hated to ask for help like this.  “I’ve got you.”  Levi reminded him.  “You’d do the same for me.”  He helped keep Erwin steady, he helped him open his trousers, he looked away from his cock while he pissed.  

The relief on Erwin’s face was endearing, actually, and he sat back into his chair with a pleasant sigh.  “Thank you, Levi.”

Erwin was at rock fucking bottom, and it made Levi feel sick.

Levi nodded at him and wheeled him to his desk.  ‘Do you hate me?’  He wondered, ‘for what I did to you?’   “I got Eren’s father’s books for you.  Three volumes of answers for you— about beyond the walls, about the fate of humanity, about everything. You were right, Erwin.  You were right.”  

Erwin smiled and passed his hand along the spine of the tomes, he seemed… content, at least.  Levi didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath as he watched Erwin begin to read.  This was Erwin's dream, his everything… he wasn’t sure what he would have to live for when he finished reading those books.  So he distracted himself, he made them both some tea and set the cup down beside his command— his advisor.  

He was quiet and respectful while he watched Erwin devour the information, and he wasn’t sure why he was so nervous.  

“A whole world of humans.”  He said thoughtfully.  “A whole world of different places and cultures… kept beyond our reach because of a curse in our blood.  Titans come from our people, from across the sea, and are used to keep us within these walls.  Fascinating.”  

Levi was glad, Erwin seemed… happy, kind of, with the information.  “A whole world against us.”  Levi added lamely.  “Then again, you’ve always been good at beating the odds.”  

Erwin smiled then, humility and sadness crossing his features.  “I suppose that’s true.”  He gingerly touched his healing abdomen, flinching ever so slightly as he touched a sore point.  “Levi… what will you do?”

He was taken aback by the question.  “I… I want to stay with you.” 
Erwin took a sip of tea slowly and carefully, presumably not wanting to upset his stomach.  “It’s alright, Levi.  I don’t want you to waste your life here.”  His voice was kind and gentle, his eyes were distant.  

There was a terrible implication beneath Erwin’s words; that his own life would be a waste.  That there was no future for him, no happiness, no value.  “It’s not a waste.”  Levi said immediately, but Erwin gently touched his hand to stop him.

“It’s a waste of your talents and your abilities.  You’re a combat genius, Levi.  They’ll need you at the front when we go to war.”  

 Levi had never really disobeyed Erwin before, but he was certainly considering it now.  “Erwin.”  He said tersely.  “It’s my fault you’re like this.  I want to help you.  I want to be with you.”  

“Levi…” Erwin’s eyes were so warm, and he put his hand on top of Levi’s.  “You put so much on yourself.  It’s not your fault I got wounded.  It’s not your fault the beast titan threw rocks at us.  You saved my life, Levi.  You let me see the truth for myself, you helped me make my dreams come true.  Even in the worst moments, I never blamed you.  I’m grateful for this gift that you’ve given me, and I don’t intend to squander it.” 

Levi turned his hand over and squeezed Erwin’s fingers.  It was perhaps the most intimate thing they had done together, and he hoped it read loud and clear.  

 Erwin smiled, and delicately threaded his fingers with Levi’s.  “Do you remember when we first met?  How I said we’d save humanity together?”

Levi nodded, his heart racing.  

“I still want that, Levi.  And I know you can help make that happen, but not if you’re stuck here looking after me.  I’ll be alright.”  To prove the point, he shakily stood up on his own two feet and slowly, carefully, painstakingly hobbled to the nice plush bed and sat down.  It wasn’t much, but it was a start.  “Levi… come here, please.”

 Levi obliged, approaching the bed with uncertainty.  

 Erwin lay down and gestured for Levi to join him.  Of course Levi did, and he cuddled up to Erwin’s side, trying his best not to upset his healing muscles or skin.  “Erwin… I don’t want to leave.”  He squeezed his eyes shut and cursed himself for getting emotional.  

“I know.”  He said gently.  “And I won’t make you.  I won’t judge you for following your heart.”  Erwin’s smooth fingers were stroking his muscles, and he leaned into the sensation.  

 Levi imagined foreign invaders arriving on their island… maybe with flying machines, maybe with titans, he imagined them destroying the barracks, imagined Erwin getting crushed to death inside.  This war wasn’t over, their fight was only just beginning.  Erwin was right, Levi could do so much more if he fought than if he allowed himself respite.  “No, Erwin.  You’re right.  They’ll need me in the battle.  I’ll do it.” 

Erwin’s smile was sad and distant.  Levi wondered if he would miss being in the fray.  “I… I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back, Levi.  I know you’ll survive.  I know you’ll come back to me.”  

“Okay.”  He promised.  Because Erwin was always right about this sort of thing.  

They didn’t get naked, they didn’t have sex, they didn’t do anything except hold each other that night.  Levi doubted Erwin would have sex in a meaningful way ever again, but it didn’t matter.  He pressed his ear against Erwin’s chest and greedily absorbed the steady sound of his heart beating.  

 “I’ll come back.”  Levi promised.  “When this is all over, I’ll come back.  I’ll bring you more of those photographs, new inventions, maybe a medicine for your body I— I’ll help finish what you started.”  He kissed Erwin’s neck and breathed him in.  “Erwin… I…”

“I know, Levi.  Me too.”  His voice was a soft rumble, and Levi arched his neck up so they could kiss.  

Levi burned the moment into his mind, a soft safe place for him to remember in the coming months and years of conflict ahead of him.  Erwin was alive, he was waiting, and he’d be there when Levi came back.  That beautiful bright smile would keep him going, give him a reason to keep fighting… he would return to those open arms and find peace.  

Levi would fight until his body could take it no longer, and Erwin would wait for him.  And one day, he hoped, the world wouldn’t need them the way it did now.  They would hang up their swords and find somewhere peaceful to rest.  

[fleetofshippyships-archive]

Fanfic Author Meme

Tagged by @diligent-thunder and @rockmarina​ =)

Okay, so I’m me, and I talked way too much, so I’m putting this under a cut to save your dashes. You’re welcome 😘

Please do not reblog this post.

Author Name: 

Fleetofshippyships + Knowyourincantations + Legendaryroar

Fandoms You Write For: 

(in order of decreasing # of fics) Harry Potter, Voltron, Merlin, Yuri on Ice, Star Trek, Star Wars and then a few one-offs that aren’t really worth mentioning.

Where You Post: 

AO3 primarily, Tumblr, trying to post more on Pillowfort, I also post on a couple of sites for knowyourincantations

Most Popular One-Shot: 

Fleetofshippyships: Potter’s Insatiable Cock (Drarry, Explicit (duh XD), 20k (viewable only for logged-in AO3 users)).

Knowyourincantations: A Decent Start to Things (Pansmione, Teen, 7k)

Legendaryroar: Finding Time for Rest (Sheith (Voltron), Teen, 3k)

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: 

RestraintNone of my old multi-chapter fics are available to read at this time and I don’t really write multi-chapter fics anymore.

If oneshot/drabble collections or two-shots count, then:

Fleetofshippyships: Vanilla and Sweet Spices (Drarry, Explicit, 2 chapters, 20k)

and this really doesn’t count, but technically it has multiple ‘chapters’ soooooooooo

Legendaryroar: Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships (Voltron), Explicit (duh), 31 ‘chapters’, 26k)

Favourite Story You Wrote: 

I don’t think I ever have a static favourite, I’ve just written too many things, I too quickly move on to the next (and frequently forget some of my own fics exist XD), but recently I re-read In Pursuit of Red Wine (Dreville, Teen, 29k) and really enjoyed that again, and I am really attached to it cos it was my first longish rarepair fic, kind of proving to myself that I can write longer rarepair stuff. 

I also recently re-read Unburdened (Merthur (BBC Merlin), Explicit, 2k) and really enjoyed that too, had a total disconnect from having written it since it’s been so long, so I was able to read it without self-judging, and oh boy that was nice. 

I’m also quite proud of Healing What’s Left (Parkgrass, Teen, 2k) for some reason, I dunno, maybe the dark political backdrop of the fic, or maybe just cos it’s the first time I’ve written Daphne as the main character and I’m happy with the result and now have some headcanons about her rather than her being an unknown blank character to me. 

I also binge read a lot of my Voltron stuff recently and had big feels over that so....I also specifically enjoyed re-reading The Perks of Skincare (Klance (Voltron), Explicit, 3k) again cos I dunno, I like how I wrote Lance XD and also the Sheith fic I linked earlier is a fav for sure. Shiro/Rest is the ultimate OTP.

It really depends how soon after I write something or when I go back to re-read it as to what my fav is at any given time (or people commenting on it and hyping me up for it again).

Story You Were Nervous to Post: 

Everything. But most recently I was terrified out of my mind before posting: 

Friday Night by the Fire (Harry/Neville, Teen, 583 words) because I have a lot of fears about screwing up trying to write ace characters and somehow not even making that a focal point of the drabble made it even more terrifying,  No More Waiting (TianShan (19 Days), Teen, 2k) because it was a new fandom to write in, Harry Potter and the Maudlin Merman series (Drarry, Teen+ Mature, 3k +6k) due to my feelings of inadequacy because it would be better as long fic but I struggle too much with writing these days to write long fics and can only manage short things. I’d rather write this as a long fic, but then I’d never finish it so connected oneshots are the best I can do right now, but I still feel it’s not good enough and have a meltdown whenever I post one. And speaking of which, I’ve been sitting on the next one for months and should probably just fucking post it already.

Actually, most recently: Minding One’s Limits (Cho/Ginny, G rated, 1.5k), because I gave Cho a disability modeled off my fibromyalgia and wrote a scenario similar to something I’d dealt with myself, it was incredibly uncomfortable to write in the first place, and then terrifying to post, even though it’s so short. But in the end I’m proud I finally wrote about it a bit? I dunno, might take me a while to work up the nerve again though XD (also was my first time writing that ship, so there was a lot of nervousness over that too)

Oh, and I was a super ball of anxiety posting  Kinktober 2018 (Multiple ships, Explicit, 31 ‘chapters’, 26k) because for almost all of those it was the first time I was writing those kinks (and some were kind of squicks for me but I wanted to see if I could write them anyway cos I’m dumb like that) and in a lot of cases those ships were completely new for me to write too, in addition to trying to write and post 1 a day, so...yeah. Also that was my first time writing tentacle and human/werewolf smut so...yeah. I was an absolute mess that month and not in a fun way. But I’m still really glad I did it, it was fun =D

In summary, I’m always an anxious mess posting anything, but most especially if it’s something I’ve not written before or is personal to me XD

How Do You Choose Your Titles: 

Most of the time I’m staring down the empty title field in AO3 cursing like a fucking sailor when I choose titles XD Sometimes it’s a line/theme/feeling from the fic. Sometimes it’s totally random and just comes to me. Sometimes I just grasp the first thing that I can no matter how stupid it sounds cos it’s been three days and I still don’t have a title and I’m over it and ready to post before I lose my nerve.

And tbh, it’s only getting harder to think of titles as my number of fics increases, and I’ve now started thinking of the perfect titles only to realise I already have a published fic by that title so....TITLES CAN DIE A FIERY DEATH

Sometimes, not so much anymore, it would turn out that I would give a wip doc a name just so I’d know what it was, sometimes as a joke with whoever was reading it and cheerleading while I wrote it, and then I would refer to it by that and think of it as that so much that when it came time to actually give the fic a title, it was too late and I could not think past that stupid file name, and that’s how Potter’s Insatiable Cock happened, and how I very nearly called a Merthur fic Arthur’s Wanking Tower (saved that one at the last moment thank god cos the tone of that fic is actually really serious and emotional and wtf was I even thinking with that file name and actually I linked to that fic above XD it ended up being called Unburdened). 

Potter’s Insatiable Cock slipped through cos it’s actually relevant to the fic content and I could live with it.

But needless to say, I don’t give my wip docs joke names anymore XD

Do You Outline: 

Only if I never want to actually write the idea...once I outline, it’s over. I can’t write to a detailed plan. It stifles me. I’ll always get stuck having to try and think ahead to the plan, and then I lose the flow and nothing works because I’m a pantser/intuitive/instinctive writer not a planner. Sometimes I jot down ideas but in like, the vaguest of ways, usually more focused on emotional development than actual scenes or events or anything because then I won’t be able to write it (and I rarely stick to those vague ideas anyway). 

I can really only write when I’m staring down a blank doc with no idea where it’s going and discover it as I go (which is why writing is so fun for me). I can only finish a fic if I don’t think too hard about what’s going to happen next and just let it happen as I write. 

This of course means that editing is a fucking bitch when I finish anything, beginnings often get totally re-written, but if I plan, it just doesn't happen at all, so I’ll take the extra editing if it means I manage to write something.

I do have a lot of detailed plotty fic idea outlines...and I mourn them cos I’m never going to write them now, but they’re so goooooooooood XD

Complete: 

Online (across all 3 accounts): 381 (incl. my hidden drarry fics as they are technically online just hidden, not incl. individual oneshots/drabbles in collection ‘fics’, of which there are ridiculously many). Offline: 20 (I have the worst habit of just sitting on completed fics and I really need to stop)

In-Progress: 

Too many to name, last time I counted it was ~60 but that wasn’t even including my vld wips so...I don’t actually know. I hoard wips and just switch up what I work on all the time depending on mood/interest levels/effort required. 

Current main focuses are a 50k+ plotty Drarry (*fingerscrossed* cos this is my first time seriously attempting something long (will probably reach 80k at least) in a very long time and I put it down for a few months and thought that was it but then I picked it up again recently, yay!), and re-writing some hidden fics I can’t put them back up in the quality they’re in, I just can’t guys, they’re awful.

I’ve been thinking a lot about working on the longish 8th year Pansmione fic I started for the wlw big bang before I had to pull out of cos stupid life stuff. I might pick that up again for a bit too, couldn’t be more different from the Drarry one so it’d make a nice focus break =)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: 

I don’t even plan fics I’m writing, I sure don’t plan ahead to stuff I haven’t even started XD The only think I can think of for this category would be me re-writing my hidden long Drarry fics.

Oh, and there will be a Merthur oneshot coming (hopefully) soon, because @april-thelightfury115​ won my custom fic giveaway with a merthur idea. Just waiting for my brain to cooperate so I can start that and not suck XD but I’m so fucking excited to write some Merthur again, you have no idea.

Oh, and lots more Sapphic September drabbles coming too, I’m way behind and only just posted day 11 cos this month is literal hell for me, but I am still planning on finishing the prompt list, no matter how long it takes, but no plan for those, not even which ships, I just sit down with the next prompt and a blank doc and see what happens.

Do You Accept Prompts: 

Yes, I love writing to prompts, I’m take them via google form here, but I’m in such a bad space with my health I’ve been really struggling with writing lately, managed to do a bit of editing (fuck knows how), but writing new stuff is so hard, so there’s a long wait while I wait for my fibro fog to ease off to the point I can write new stuff with more regularity (and less stupid errors I have to edit out later).

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: 

Again, I so don’t plan. But I really want to be making more progress on the long plotty drarry wip I’m trying to write. I’m still not sure I’ll have the guts to post it even if I do finish it, given its subject matter (it would make a great careers or consent fest fic tbh), but damn I’m really excited by it. Not sure I can maintain it being plotty and not revert to focusing on the relationship (which is easier for me), but I can only try and see what happens. (trying to write a non-relationship plot without planning is a nightmare but I don’t have a choice if I want to write it at all XD)

I’m also now excited for my longish pansmione wip too actually, just because it’s already longer than my Dreville long-ish fic and it’s exciting and scary to do longer rarepair stuff. I’m way out of my comfort zone with the fic itself, but I dunno, I re-read some recently and fell in love with it all over again, like, flustered lesbian-awakening, disaster for Pansy (but sure she still hates her) Hermione? YES PLEASE! and also, I am guilty of not writing female characters as much as I should because, well, canonically, they don’t have much depth and I’m very meh about them, but in this there’s a huge focus on them because they’re all determined to band together for 8th year and Hermione is making friends with them (Parvati is like, dragging her along all the time XD) where she once dismissed them so it’s scary but exciting =D I’m getting more practice with all the sapphic I do over on knowyourincantations, so I feel more confident working on this wip now =D

I’m also kind of excited about re-writing my old long fics, because they’re all 3 years old now, and my writing tastes (and skill, yikes) have totally changed, so it’s like I’m writing the story again but how I would write it now while maintaining the overall same plot, so it’s really interesting, like discovering the story all over again. Like in one (Making Malfoy Blush) I’ve gone as far as introducing a new side character to replace another’s parts because I no longer feel those parts are in character for them. It’s super terrifying, but it’s fun at the same time =) it’ll take me forever to do these though, so I dunno about ‘upcoming’ really, I only chip away every now and then when I’m unable to write new stuff but am still coherent enough to do something.

Eh, it is what it is, I can’t write like I used to, hence me being inactive more than active these days, but I’m trying to work within my new limitations instead of getting frustrated with them and just giving up entirely =)

---

Now, who to tag....I think anyone I would tag has already done it, and if not..I blame the fog if I’m forgetting someone obvious, if you wanna do it just say I tagged you so I can be nosy and take a look =)

Again, please do not reblog this post