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simonsrosebud · 4 years

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the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 3

part one two four five

kevin has a talk with them the next morning before practice. or more of just him storming into the lounge and going off. the four freshman are there, too, but he doesn’t quite care.

“dalton isn’t fucked up like the rest of us! there’s a reason i didn’t want any of you meeting or even knowing about him and it’s not because i hadn’t fucking come out yet. he’s not a fox, and he’s not even thea. he’s not involved with exy, he doesn’t know about riko and me and the moriyama’s and the rest! there’s a lot of shit he doesn’t know about yet and none of you had the right throwing it all out in the air last night just to have a fucking laugh. tell me, was it funny? was it fucking funny getting him shitfaced just to get some answers and take the piss?!”

dan stands, and kevin holds a hand out. she looks to andrew, but his silence sides him with kevin. “kevin, we were just trying to-“

“you have no excuses, dan. none of you do. you were trying to make a fool of me and my boyfriend for nothing. and now, i have to go cure his curiosity of the things you all said.” and he storms out.

wymack doesn’t stop him. if anything, he looks mad at those left. “the fuck did you do to him to make him skip practice?! you realize that’s never happened so long as he’s lived, right?! we don’t have protocol for the day kevin skips exy.”

meanwhile, dalton doesn’t actually have that many questions. the numbing of alcohol for a face tattoo is understandable, especially knowing that kevin’s sober and therefore must have had a problem. the cracker dust he asks about just because he doesn’t know what it is- he doesn’t like it, but trusts kevin that he’s done with it. he’s seen the scar along kevin’s hand, he already assumed it was from a surgery. the edgar allen thing was too vague for him to be curious about, but he does ask- not about, the father comment, but if he’s okay about it. kevin tells him this much; that he transferred from edgar allen to palmetto because he’d known for a few years that wymack was his father, and that he didn’t have the courage to tell him until last year.

kevin thanks the gods that dalton doesn’t ask about or seem to remember any mention of the yakuza.

they’re at kevin’s suite because he knows they’ll have a few hours by themselves with everyone at the stadium, but only an hour in there’s knocking on the door. dalton has his lips on kevin’s- he’d just said how he likes having access to his “real smile”. “gonna get it?” kevin shakes his head. the knocking starts again.

“come on, kevin! we’re sorry! just open up for a second!”

kevin knows dalton likes when he speaks french, so he sighs and kisses him before whispering, “i hate them all.”

dan is at his door with matt and allison in tow. “what do you want?”

“to apologize.” kevin raises his eyebrows. “look, we take the piss a lot and you never seemed to be visibly affected by it, so we didn’t realize that last night was upsetting you until you left.”

“you said never have i ever seen kevin have a meltdown. why do you think you’ve seen that? because i’m a toddler? you know what i’ve had my reasons.” riko. the moriyamas.

“i know. look, we don’t want to give you excuses. i-i don’t have an explanation. you’ve always kind of let us take the piss without saying anything, and we took it too far, especially last night. andrew looked like he wanted to kill nicky for the yakuza comment, but neil talked to him about it before we went to the stadium this morning,” she whispers the last part because she’s not stupid, and kevin huffs.

matt jumps in. “we wanna make it up to you, man. you’ve obviously hid him from us for a reason and we proved you right.” kevin honestly wants to get back to dalton and he wants it to just be over with. “bring him to the winter banquet, we’ll be nice. if anyone says anything i’ll punch em. neil will chew em out.”

kevin grimaces. the ravens will be at the banquet. it’s in just over a month, the second week of december. he’ll have to tell dalton some things by then. and he might have to say something to the public.

he doesn’t tell him anything. not yet, at least. he still has three weeks until the banquet- he hasn’t even asked dalton yet. he starts to like away games a little more than before, though. he gets dalton a little postcard from every new state they go to. he tapes them all to one of the walls of his room.

he’s on the phone with dalton at an airport general store, even, when he gets interrupted by two girls. he puts on his press smile before he even notices. “hold on, d.”

he doesn’t love fan interactions.

when they leave, dalton asks him with amusement if he’s got fans now, and kevin kind of decides he should probably tell him some more about his life because jesus, does he have fans. he needs to tell him about he and riko. what they were, what they were to fans of exy, what kevin was to fans of exy. what kevin was to riko- without involving the yakuza.

but he doesn’t, because dalton never brings up the topic of “fans” again.

he doesn’t tell him until a week later, when he wakes up from a nightmare.

dalton’s leaning over him, speaking, but all kevin sees is riko riko riko. it takes all of two seconds for dalton to back off.

“hey, hey, it’s me, it’s dalton. you’re safe, you’re in my apartment. no one else is here, i promise.”

kevin’s breathing so hard, dalton flicks the lamp on and he just crumbles. he sits up and presses his hands over his eyes, “i’m sorry.”

“can i touch you?” he nods. dalton’s sitting at his side, cross legged, and gently pulls kevin’s hands off his eyes. “you don’t have to be sorry. i know there’s shit in here,” he lightly lifts his hands to hold kevin’s face and taps his temple with a finger, “i don’t need to know what it is, just know you don’t have to apologize for it, and know you’re safe.”

kevin nods and twists to hug him. and dalton wraps his arms securely around kevin’s back. he presses a kiss to the top of his head and mumbles “c’mere” to prompt kevin into climbing into his lap.

dalton slides his fingers through kevin’s hair and it’s just so soothing, it nearly puts him to sleep. and when dalton lays back down kevin stays wrapped around him with his cheek pressed to his chest.

when kevin wakes up it’s to find they’ve switched positions overnight. dalton’s got his arm lazily draped over kevin’s waist, almost holding him close like a pillow. his ankle is thrown over kevin’s, and his head is pressed into the back of kevin’s neck.

kevin doesn’t want to move. in fact, he stays so still so as to not wake dalton, that when he stirs kevin just shushes him and pulls dalton’s arm back around him. he holds his hand close to his chest.

dalton’s not stupid. he knows kevin’s awake and nuzzles himself closer. “you like being cuddled.”

“you’re the one doing it, not me.” but he definitely tilts further into the pillow to expose his neck when dalton starts kissing up the side.

“you like being the little spoon.” and pushes himself up over kevin. “you like when you’re on the bottom, kev.” he kisses him deep into the mattress despite morning breath, and noses down his neck. “i like it.”

kevin tugs at dalton’s hair. “and what… what about it?”

ahaha. aha. sex.

anyway.

he tells dalton everything afterwards. he leaves out the yakuza part, and the fact of neil’s past, because that’s another monster. but he tells him the rest. who his mother is and why he’s such a big deal in the exy world; why he really left edgar allen and came to the foxes; the tattoo that’s buried under his chess piece and what it meant. what his relationship with riko was really like, and everything about their past and the abuse he endured.

and he fills him in on what triggers him because of that: small pitch black rooms, confined spaces without an easy way out, holding his hand too tight, the mention of riko moriyama, a lot of other things.

and dalton stays.

so kevin asks him to the banquet. when he says yes, he asks wymack for help arranging an interview. there are enough people and press lingering outside the exy banquets, and he’d like to hold his boyfriend’s hand on the way in this year.

it’s scheduled to be live the morning before the banquet. it’s with sophie silletti for espn college exy, and she posts about it as soon as it’s booked.

kevin sits with her. it’s nothing like kathy ferdinand. they talk strictly about exy and eventually, with his pre-approved questions, she brings up thea’s team’s most recent game. “and forgive me if i’m wrong, but you and thea muldani split recently, yes?”

kevin nods. “back in may, i’d say. we’re still friendly, i have the utmost respect towards her. in the end it just didn’t work out.” i haven’t talked to her in months.

sophie nods. “everything happens for a reason, i’d like to think.”

“of course. it wouldn’t have led me elsewhere.”

“is that hinting at something? i feel we don’t normally talk about this, but does kevin day have someone new in his love life?”

kevin palms are sweating. he hopes his face isn’t red with nerves. “i do, actually. i won’t say anything about him for his own privacy” i don’t want the public’s prying eyes “but we’ve been together for a bit, now.”

sophie is grinning, she feigns surprise. “i heard you say him, did i not? anything else to tell us?”

he keeps his smile easy, but he can feel the worry in the back of his head telling himself they can see right through it. “if you’re asking, then sure. i’m a bisexual man, so yes, my partner is also a man. this is the first time i’ve ever announced it to the public, actually.” as if that wasn’t the whole point of today.

“at least your fangirls can keep their hopes up, then, yeah? still got a 50/50 shot! and i’ve got to say, i feel honored you trusted me and my show with a milestone like this. coming out certainly is a big deal, or at least nerve wracking! how do you feel?” she laughs. “is it like a weight lifted from your shoulders?”

“i was never too stressed about it.” lies. “some will hate, sure, but my job is the game. if my fans are true then this won’t change that. speaking of,” and then it’s back to exy.

wymack drives them back to palmetto, and when they’re close enough he says, “i’m proud of you for doing that.”

“thanks.”

“where am i dropping you off?”

kevin knows andrew and neil probably watched the interview, and he doesn’t feel like dealing with whatever they’ve got to say about it. so wymack drops him at dalton’s who hugs him as soon as he opens the door.

“you watched?”

“of course.” he kisses his cheek.

all posts/updates relating to this au can be found in the “OC: dalton miller” tag!

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karanoid · 4 years

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about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution.

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine.

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection?

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE.

#discourse #the old guard #joe x nicky #kaysanova #immortal husbands

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lesbianlotties · 4 years

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Prompt: Andy and Quynh telling Nile (and the rest) stories of how they have died funny, useless and stupidly accidental deaths over the years.

omg thank you so much!! this prompt was so fun, i loved it!! plus, let’s consider that before Lykon’s death they had no reason to believe they could die at some point so these two probably killed each other more than once?? i love them

“All things considered, I’m actually impressed you’ve only died struck by lightning once, Andy,” Nile laughed.

“Yeah, I’m almost offended,” Andy chuckled and took a sip from her drink.

After the six immortals were finally reunited, their conversation during, and especially after dinner were more and more interesting each day. Joe and Nicky had experienced a lot with Andy and Quynh, Booker had heard some of the stories, but Nile in particular was having the time of her life listening to all the stories the two women had to share.

“And that wasn’t even your most embarrassing death, was it, Andromache?” Quynh smirked from her place beside Andy on the sofa.

Andy let out an exasperated sigh “If you’re talking about the fucking mushrooms- Look, someone had to find out if they were poisonous! You died too!”

Her protest only made Quynh laugh. “That was a good one,” she winked at Andy and added, “But I was thinking something more along the lines of falling into your own traps for hunting animals?”

“How dare you…” Andy shook her head at her. But she had to bite her lip in order to fight the smile, the immense joy of having back the woman she loved to joke and laugh like this again. Andy read the spark of a playful challenge in the other woman’s eyes and then said, “At least my own axe hasn’t killed me half as many times as your own arrows.”

While the three men laughed, Nile mumbled, “But that has happened?!” However, Andy and Quynh were getting lost in their memories.

“That’s not fair,” Quynh lifted a finger to stop Andy, “I was just learning how to make them myself.”

“Yeah, at the beginning,” Andy chuckled, “What’s your excuse for the next thousand of years?”

Quynh laughed mockingly and rolled her eyes. “At least I’m not the great Andromache the Scythian, probably invented the wheel and then died run over by literally her own chariot.”

“It was an absurdly unsafe thing!” Andy protested again and then waved a hand toward the rest of the team. “But hey, why don’t you tell everyone about all your deaths by fireworks?”

That comment got Quynh to actually throw her head back laughing. “Okay, I do not regret that at all, it was fun,” Quynh shrugged, and when she turned to look at Andy, her smile was so confident and knowing that Andy was immediately worried. “However, there’s this one story about a little boy…”

“Quynh, don’t you dare…”

“He had really good aim, didn’t he, Andromache?”

Before Andy could think of something to say to stop her, Nile asked, “A little boy killed you once?” Barely holding back her laughter.

“Okay, he threw a massive rock at my head and the little asshole had a strong arm and good aim, that’s all!” Andy crossed her arms on her chest while the others laughed.

“Why did he threw a rock at you to begin with?” Nile asked through her laughs.

“Not important,” Andy grumbled, really not in the mood to explain why she got in an argument with a small child. Despite the frown in her face, she could feel Quynh’s soothing hand in the back of her head, playing with her hair, and she leaned into the loving touch. She felt so at peace she almost didn’t hear her lover’s next words.

“Now, do you want to share the stories about the times we’ve died in bed with each other, or…”

“Okay, this talk is over!” Andy announced, abruptly standing up from the couch.

#they are dumb and i love them so much 🥺👉👈#andy x quynh #the old guard #immortal wives #the old guard fanfic #andromaquynh #tog #andy and quynh #prompts #anon #thank you so much!!#answered

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opalescent-cheetah · 4 years

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I Don’t Know What To Do (About This Dream And You), 4/5 - Methydoll

Summary: Baseball players and mythical beings are a potent combination. After Crystal catches her eye on the baseball field, Nicky makes a decision that turns her entire world upside down. Meanwhile, Crystal is caught in a mysterious dreamscape, chasing a creature with eyes like liquid gold.

Inspired by these songs: “She’s So High” - Tal Bachman; “Digital Love” - Daft Punk; “Baby” - Francesca Blanchard

Chapter Summary: Crystal is an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, and she’s not sure how to feel about that. Jan is the ultimate wingwoman.

A/N: Here is the penultimate chapter of my fic for @cobblestaubrey ! In which Aiden and Brita make a very random (but - at least in my mind - a very necessary) cameo.

Ao3 // Previous Chapter

Chapter 4 - Crystal

She’s back in that moonlit field, standing beneath the same tree, its leaves rustling softly in the breeze. Glancing up, she looks for the feathered shape she’d seen last time, but the branches whisper with nothing but emptiness.

Crystal takes the opportunity to gather her surroundings. Nothing has changed since her first visit, several nights ago. There is nothing to see save for an expanse of rolling hills, dotted with huddled thickets of trees. It’s nothing special, and she can’t help but wonder why she’s here again.

She turns, slowly, and that’s when she sees them: the bird person who healed her. They’re sitting on the crest of a nearby hill, feathers twitching in the wind, silently looking out into the distance.

So it was them, last time I was here, Crystal realises. She can’t help but think that they have something to do with this recurring dream. Ever since the night they healed her, they’ve been an ever-present force in her mind, and now she’s seeing them in her sleep, too?

Almost impulsively, she begins running towards them, desperate for answers. She knows they’ll probably fly away again, but her undying confusion moves her forward.

Crystal slows when she reaches the foot of the hill, taking the trek upwards one silent step at a time. It feels as though she’s closing in on a wild animal; something unpredictable, something delicate and defensive. She can still see the silhouetted shape at the top, the edges of their feathers shining silver in the watery moonlight. They’re ethereally beautiful, yet tragically untouchable.

When she finally reaches the crest of the hill, she finds herself only a few paces away from them. They haven’t moved - it is as though they are frozen, statuesque beneath the stars. Crystal takes a tentative step closer, but when her shadow falls over them, they stiffen, feathers spiking in alarm.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Crystal tries to assure them, but they have already leaped to their feet, every muscle in their body pulled taut. In the fleeting moment before they spread their wings, Crystal catches a glimpse of their face, their golden eyes ablaze with terror, and it stops her short.

They take off in a blur of feathers, their dark silhouette vanishing into the night, swallowed by the endless expanse of starlight. Crystal stands in their wake, dazed, her throat too tight to even call out for them.

All she can see is the fear in their fiery eyes, their hard stare burrowing deep into her soul. It haunts her; why are they so scared? Why would they heal her, and then run away from her as though she’s some kind of monster? She rubs at a hollow ache in her chest, biting back exasperated tears.

What’s more, they share a striking likeness with Nicky, from the gentle slope of their jaw to the perfect arch of their lips. The downy feathers around their eyes weren’t enough to mask the soft curve of their eyelids, or to hide the shining gold of their pupils, as bright and beautiful as Nicky’s eyes.

Nicky.

Crystal slumps to the ground, the grass prickling at her bare knees, but she hardly notices. The thought of Nicky makes her chest tighten, her throat closing with unspoken feelings.

She’s never met anyone like Nicky before. There’s something about her - something special, something different, and it’s not just the iridescent gold of her eyes. Crystal can’t even bring herself to hate the fluttering flames in her chest whenever Nicky smiles at her. No, what hurts the most is that she’s Nicky: she’s perfect, so put-together, and completely out of Crystal’s league. She doesn’t even know why Nicky gives her the time of day; to her, Crystal must be nothing more than an ordinary girl, with messy hair and a baseball cap. She isn’t like Nicky. She’s not special, or interesting, or funny, or cool, she’s just…

She’s just Crystal. And that never feels like enough.

You’ve got it, you’ve got it…

It’s a high ball, carving an elegant arc through the air, and it’s coming down, down, towards Crystal’s waiting mitt. She hops a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving the incoming missile.

This is it - if she catches this, the game is hers.

THWACK.

The ball lands heavily in her mitt, and she swings her hand downward, securing it in her grip.

“OUT!” the referee shouts. The bleachers - and Crystal’s teammates - erupt into cheers. It’s the third out of the last innings, and they’ve just won the game.

“Crys! That was so good!” Jan shrieks, running up and tackling her in a hug. Jaida follows close behind her, lips quirked in a smile.

“She must’ve been visited by the magical bird person again,” she jokes good-humouredly. “Hey, Crystal, you should ask them to visit the rest of the team, too.”

Crystal falters, her mind drifting back to her last dream.

“I mean, I would,” she finally says, “but I don’t think they want to talk to me right now.”

Jan giggles. “Alright, alright, keep them all to yourself then,” she says, swatting Crystal lightly.

“You’d better get yourself some extra luck for our next game, though,” Jaida adds, clearly stifling a laugh.

“No, like, I actually think they’re mad at me right now,” Crystal insists, unable to erase their terrified eyes from her mind. “I keep seeing them in my dreams, but they always run away. They seem… they seem really scared of something.” She trails off, biting her lip.

“I--” Jaida hesitates. “You’re not serious?”

Even Jan has taken a step back and is looking at Crystal quizzically. Crystal tries not to shrink under her gaze - if Jan thinks she’s going insane, then she might just have a problem. She decides not to mention that the bird person wears Nicky’s face beneath her feather-lined eyes.

Forcing a laugh, Crystal waves them off.

“I’m just kidding, you guys! You should see the looks on your faces. I got you good.” She shoots finger-guns at Jaida and Jan, trying not to sigh in relief when they both visibly relax.

“Whew, for a second there, I thought we were going to have to get your head checked,” Jan jokes, elbowing Crystal playfully.

“Excuse me! I am perfectly sane,” Crystal sniffs, but she isn’t even sure whether she believes that anymore.

“Yes, and pigs fly,” Jaida comments wryly. Beside her, Jan dissolves into giggles, while Crystal sticks her lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. As they begin walking back to the locker rooms together, Jaida adds, “by the way, I’ll see y’all tonight at the team sleepover, right?”

“Yes ma’am,” Jan says, and Crystal nods in affirmation, hoping that this will give her a much-needed break from her worries.

“Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

Crystal watches nervously as Jan’s expression turns sly.

“Crystal Methyd, have you been… seeing anyone lately?”

“Apart from your mystical bird person,” Jaida adds, lips quirked in a wry smile, and the team giggles.

“I - uh--” Crystal stammers, caught off-guard. Her mind drifts, first, to the bird person of her dreams, but it’s quickly replaced by an image of Nicky’s perfect smile and her iridescent eyes, glowing softly in the cozy cafe. Did that count as a date? She feels her face flush at the thought.

“Someone’s blushing,” Jan teases her gleefully. “Come on, Crys! Tell us who it is!”

“No-one,” she mumbles. “I’m not seeing anyone.”

It was probably a one-off thing, anyways. Just something casual. Nothing worth overthinking.

Besides, if she let slip that she’s falling for one of Jan’s best friends, she’d never hear the end of it - Jan would want to play every role from wingwoman to bridesmaid.

“C’mon, sis, we can all tell you’re lying,” Brita laughs, elbowing her playfully. “You look like a tomato.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jaida cuts in, her dark eyes gleaming with mischief. “You and Aiden ain’t ever set anything straight.”

“Because they’re not!” Jan adds, shrieking with laughter. Crystal giggles, finally relaxing slightly. Across the circle, Aiden’s pale face turns crimson, and Crystal is hit with an idea. Stifling an impish smile, she turns to Brita.

“Okay, Brita, truth or dare?”

She almost feels bad when she sees the way Brita’s eyes widen with knowing, but the feeling is outweighed by her own relief - at least the attention is off her shoulders, for now.

“Dare,” Brita finally decides, her voice hesitant, careful.

“I dare you to kiss Aiden,” Crystal says, and the entire circle breaks into whoops and cheers.

“Fuck,” Aiden mutters, covering her scarlet face with both of her hands. “Brita, you could’ve just chosen truth--”

“Oh yeah? And be bombarded with questions neither of us wants to answer?” Brita rolls her eyes exasperatedly. “Come on, you can’t tell me that’s any better. At least we can get this--”

“--Over and done with,” Aiden says at the same time. She sighs, finally relenting. “Fine. Get over here, then.”

Crystal watches, deeply amused, as Brita stalks across the circle and crouches down in front of Aiden. There’s a strange fire in both of their eyes - Crystal knows as well as anyone that their argumentative nature masks something deeper, but Brita and Aiden themselves are the only ones who refuse to acknowledge it aloud.

Oh well. If anything, it makes them more fun to tease - so much so that it’s almost become a team tradition. Crystal rakes her gaze across the circle, taking in every gleeful grin and sly smirk, as Brita leans in to give Aiden a quick peck. The room erupts in shrieking laughter and cheers, and Crystal can’t help but join in, her own issues momentarily forgotten.

They don’t resurface until after the game, when Jan joins her in the bathroom as she’s brushing her teeth.

“Hey,” she says, meeting Crystal’s eyes in the mirror. She’s pursing her lips, like there are more words still lingering on her tongue, but she doesn’t quite know how to say them.

“Hey,” Crystal mumbles back around her toothbrush.

“I know we’re not playing Truth or Dare anymore, but I have a question.”

Though already suspicious, Crystal hums her acknowledgement, nodding for her to continue. Jan drums her fingertips on the countertop, hovering in a brief silence, before she finally speaks.

“Is it Nicky?”

Crystal almost spits toothpaste into Jan’s face. Reeling, she splutters into the sink instead, hoping Jan can’t see the blush that’s permeated her cheeks. How could Jan possibly know? Am I really that obvious?

She straightens again, her mouth still foamy at the edges, every indignant word she wants to say lodged in the back of her throat. The silence weighs heavily on her skin as Jan watches her, her eyes round with curiosity.

Finally, Jan breaks the silence with a giggle.

“It doesn’t take a genius to see that you two have something going on, you know,” she comments, arching an amused brow.

“Really.” Crystal washes the residual toothpaste from her mouth, refusing to meet Jan’s eyes. “I’ve barely known her for three weeks, so I’d love to see where you’re getting your evidence from.”

“Are you kidding?” Jan gawks at her in disbelief. “She’s been going to every one of our games since she met you. She hated baseball to begin with - you should’ve seen how much convincing it took just to go that first week, and Jackie said she loathed it. Until she saw you, at least.”

“She could’ve been admiring anyone on our team,” Crystal mutters, refusing to let herself be convinced. “Yeah, yeah, I bet she was looking at Jaida. I mean, who wouldn’t?” Jaida is not only beautiful, but she’s a sensational player. It would make so much more sense for Nicky to be admiring her, Crystal thinks.

“Well, Jaida’s not the one she went on a date with,” Jan counters.

“It wasn’t a date.” What if it was? “Also, how do you know about that?”

Jan snickers. “In case you forgot, Nicky is, like, one of my best friends,” she explains. “She was fretting to me and Jackie over the phone the entire morning before your date.”

“And she called it a date?”

“Well, yeah. She said it was a coffee date. I think she really likes you, girl.”

Crystal’s heart skips a beat.

She’s still just an ordinary girl with messy hair and a baseball cap, but maybe that’s all she needs to be.

Next Chapter

#rpdr fanfiction #nicky doll #crystal methyd #methydoll #crystal x nicky #songfic #mythical au #baseball au #light angst #pining #opal writes

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sea-side-scribbles · 3 years

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Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/80557750

Chapter 70:

The next day, Nick felt as calm and save he hadn't felt for a long time. Lying in his bed, he was happy to experience that he didn't have a blackout, and that he knew where he had spent the night. It had been right here, among friends. He also remembered fondly that James had brought him to bed, after keeping a clear head hadn't been necessary anymore and Nick had just let all worries go. For the first time, it felt alright to wake up as the only person in his bed, because he knew he wasn't alone. And even if his friends were a bit out of it, they remembered what was most necessary, that they were a team. Nick left the bed and prettied himself up, putting on one of Hackney's new creations. It was just the right time to wear something completely new. And the designer had been right, yellow was his colour.

Strutting down the stairs, he noticed a delicate smell coming out of the kitchen. “Oh, dear”, he whispered in awe. “Is that...pancakes?” He wondered who in the band suddenly cared enough to cook. Hurrying through the door, he found a pile of freshly made, steaming hot pancakes on the table, and James at the stove, pouring more dough in a pan. “James”, Nick gasped. “You're cooking!” He sounded as if the other man didn't notice what he was doing. “Apposite observation, my friend”, James answered happily, pointing at the already filled plate. “You think this is too much? It's supposed to be enough for four hungry mouths but I'm not sure if you even eat that much for your usually late breakfasts. Coffee is on the way, too.” Nick looked around the kitchen, gaping. “It's alright...It's just...alright...”, Nick muttered and sank into a chair. “Are you okay, Nicky?” James asked worrying. “Yeah...I'm so happy...” Nick wiped his eyes. The other man was quickly by his side to hold him. “You're looking good in that”, he commented his rags. “New collection?” “Yeah, Davy picked them for me...I mean Davy Hackney.” James nodded and Nick leaned his head against him, smiling.

“These are edible, by the way”, James gestured towards the pancakes. “First come, first served.” Because Nick's mouth watered at that, he helped himself to a big portion of the rare meal. Adoring the taste of melted sugar and lemon juice on his tongue, he leaned back. “James, this is delicious!”, he swooned. “Why didn't you tell me you can cook? I would've let you move in without hesitation!” The other man laughed. “To be fair, I haven't done this in a while. Luckily, this is just like riding a bike, you can't unlearn it.” “Can you ride a bike?”, Nick wondered. “I think so.” James furrowed his brows. “You can't?” “I don't know.” They laughed and James finished the second round of pancakes, serving them on another plate. “Don't you eat too?”, Nick asked him after a while. “Or do you want me as your food taster first?” “Doesn't the cook eat last?” “Nonsense, this isn't a noble house anyway.” Nick shoved a plate into his direction. James turned away again. “Oh, I forgot to serve the coffee...” When he was finally done and they both had their hot drinks and filled plates, James tasted his own recipe. “This isn't bad, I think”, he judged himself, “For a first try in years.” “It's the cutest thing you could've done as a manager,” Nick purred. “The others will love you too.” “They'll have to bear with me for now...” “Could be worse”, Nick said with a grin and James smiled back.

Nick was proven right about his band. When they found out their new manager had made them breakfast they keenly pitched into it. “Virgil can take a leaf out of your book”, Brad said, looking at the piece of golden pancake on his fork. “I'm not sure I even want him back”, Chris approved. Nick forced a smile. He knew they didn't have as many good memories with Virgil as he had, and also they forgot many of them already, but it still hurt. On the other hand, he was glad that James won them over bit by bit. They were simple minds now. Nick sighed, looking at his once best friend Matt who enjoyed his breakfast too. He hoped they'd stop overdosing one day, so he could really make up to them. For now, he had to admit this was working, too. Matt returned his gaze promptly. He waved a hand in front of Nick's face. “Hey, Nicky, you're still with us?” Nick blinked. “Yeah...only in thoughts...” “What are you up to now?” Nick must've looked startled, because Matt put a hand on his shoulder. “No, no, no, it's fine. This is all great!” The others nodded. “Don't worry, we're at your side, whatever is your next coup.” He made Nick smile and also blink more. Someone was cutting onions all of a sudden. “Would you mind if I talk to James first?” He gave the new manager a look. “As long as you don't forget about us”, Matt urged him. “Don't worry...”

Later, he helped James with the dishes, so he could talk to the other man in private. “What's our next plan?”, he asked worriedly. “We can create a new record by ourselves, but we need gigs. And promotion.” “Well, the biggest event of the year is already coming up”, James explained and Nick searched for information in his brain. “You mean Christmas?” James smiled. “The Victory Memorial Day, Nicky. And guess who's gonna be the main act?” “M...Me?” The other man gave him a meaningful look. “I made it?” “Of course, my friend! The Make Believes are what everyone is talking about! You're more exciting than Coconut Joy! This is better than what I hoped for when I first met you.” Nick almost let a plate fall when he dashed into the other man's arms and hugged him tightly. James gasped, taken by surprise. “You made me a star again”, Nick whispered. “We made it, Nick”, James corrected him softly. “And now it's time to reap our reward.” Nick didn't see how his eyes lit up for a second.

They consensually parted from each other for the next couple of hours. Nick said he needed to go for a memorial walk because he wasn't done saying goodbye to his beloved ones. James' reaction was understanding. The manager also needed to see through Nick's documents and needed some time alone for that. Nick's first destination was a little shop where he bought flowers from the surprised keeper. Then he sought the fountain and sat down on it's brim. “Hello Morrie”, he whispered, plucking at the blue blossoms of the forget-me-not. “I kept my promise, see, I brought you flowers...” He gulped and tried to put into words what had happened in the last few days. “I'm such an imbecile”, he concluded, “...a complete idiot...and now I lost both of you...The funny thing is, or well, perhaps the thing that would bring you to the verge of a mental breakdown...I don't regret it...I mean, I regret losing you, I regret lying to you, but I don't regret loving Arthur...does that make sense?” He paused as if he was waiting for an answer. “I guess not...I just wish I gave you a chance...a real chance to understand me...this is what I should've done...right after I met Arthur again and figured I loved him too.” He shrugged helplessly. “Well, what use is my insight now? I'd be pushing up daisies already if I didn't have such good friends. I keep going for them...But I wish you could be with me on Memorial Day...” Once again, he imagined taking Morrie's hand, holding him close. He closed his eyes for some time, dwelling in memories. Then he knelt down before the fountain and planted the flowers. He watered them with handfuls from the basin and afterwards took his time to look at his handiwork. “There, your very own memorial”, Nick whispered proudly. He remained kneeling there for some more time, leaning against the stone brim, listening to the rippling of the water and simply relaxing, dwelling.

He got up when it was time to visit someone else. “I've got to look after Virgil now...”, he quietly said to the flowers. “I miss him too...I'll be back, my love.” Nick walked away. He began to like these strolls, they helped him to calm down. It was very helpful that he didn't have to hide since he was going out at a decent time. He didn't stop right in front of the statue this time, instead he sought a bench in the park from where he could see it without being seen. From there he viewed the scene, watched the hotel guests stroll by, or the trees in the park swaying in the wind. “I guess I'm not completely useless without you...what a surprise”, he whispered. “I wish you could see me at Memorial Day. Perhaps you wanted to leave me, but in the end, you gave me a second chance and I wonder if I made you proud. I was proud of you, my rock manager extraordinaire...” Nick smiled. Then he had to wipe a tear away, still smiling. He felt more at peace today. If that was the last chapter in his life, it wasn't too bad. Virgil had given him so many good memories. And now he was prepared to do the rest, until the end. “Rest in peace, my Virgil...I'll do my best...” Nick also dwelled in thoughts for a while, enjoying the view.

Leisurely, he went inside the hotel, seeking the lounge. He had started to like this place too. Also this time it didn't disappoint. The room was imbued with a mellowing voice, a song that felt like balm on his wounds, that told him everything would be alright. And he knew the voice, and he sensed an emotional attachment to the singer. Taking a seat at a table from where he could overlook the room, he watched Birdie, smiling. She had accompanied the piano player for a presumably spontaneous performance. The one reporter who had been lucky enough to be there eagerly took photos, but it didn't harm her show. The guests applauded her when she was finished and she bowed shortly. Nick joined in the applause. Sadly, she didn't see him when she hurried out of the lounge. She probably wasn't keen on talking to the photographer. Nick left his seat and followed her. He felt the urge to tell her something. However, it looked like the reporter had the same feeling, so Nick had to get rid of him first. He fastened his pace and approached the man who was about to follow her into the elevator.

“Where do you think you're going? I'm right here!”, he proclaimed and threw himself into a pose. “Nick Lightbearer!”, the reporter blurted out. “This is my lucky day.” Nick chuckled, enjoying the little photo session. “Don't tell me you were looking for someone else.” “How are you getting along since your manager is on holiday?”, the man unfortunately asked, unable to suppress the usual journalist's annoying habit of coming up with awkward questions. “Just peachy, actually. I have a surprise coming up for you,” Nick answered confidently. “Any hints for your longing fans?” “Well, it wouldn't be a surprise then.” Nick winked. “Ah...Why did Virgil need a break, by the way? We thought it all worked out well with the Make Believes Reunion. Are there arguments in the band?” “Not that I remember...You know, Virgil was always working very hard for me and he never took a break. He very well deserves one now and I promised to behave, so don't worry, I'll be okay.” “The fans will love to hear that”, the man said, sounding a tad bit disappointed he couldn't get a fierce reaction out of the controversial rockstar. “Still, the fans are worried. You stopped giving concerts and you don't reply to fan letters. Can you give them a message right here and now?” “I'll be back”, Nick said firmly. “I'm sorry I didn't respond to my dear fans...Tell them I'm thankful for backing me up in all those years, for ignoring all the dirty lies that go around in town and just enjoying my music. That's what I'm living for. I'm glad I can cheer them up and I'll do it again, don't worry, I'm working on a big surprise and you'll love it.” “We never see you around with the other band members. Are you sure it's alright?”

Nick would've liked to slap this prick. He was giving a tearful speech for his fans and all this guy cared about was grubbing out a scandal. “Yeah, I'm absolutely certain. Listen, I'm a bit busy actually, but I think you deserve a treat...My colleague Birdie Callagher resides in this parts, I bet she'd be happy to say a word or two to her fans as well...why don't you go into the first floor, room number 115 and pay her a visit?” The reporter lit up and forgot all his bad intentions, at least those regarding Nick Lightbearer. “That's a splendid idea. Thank you, Mr. Lightbearer, for the brightening conversation.” With that, he hurried away, avid for the next big story. Nick wasn't sorry for fooling him, although he would probably pay for it later, when the guy would finish his article. He went into the elevator himself, when it came back, and ascended to the second floor. He made sure the coast was clear before he knocked.

“Birdie?”, he whispered. “It's me, Nick.” She opened and peeped through the crack of the door until she recognized him. She gave him a mild smile. “Hi, Nick.” “I wanted to talk to you in the lounge, but I guess you can't go back there right now without being assaulted...that guy is still around. I got him off your back but it's only a matter of time until he finds out I led him a merry dance...” “Oh dear...”, she rolled her eyes. “I guess it serves me right for not keeping my mouth shut. Thank you for saving me.” He waved her off. “No problem. Hey, you want to come over to my suite? We'd be save there, since the guy is after you.” “Is that another invitation?” “Uh...yeah...it is...if you can squeeze me into your schedule...” She smiled again and went out of her room, closing the door behind her. Nick was happy she came along, so he didn't have to wait until he randomly met her again in the lounge. Nearing his suite, he started to wonder about the state of it. The last time he woke up in there, after his blackout, he didn't pay attention to it at all. Opening the double door, he saw that the staff had made an effort cleaning the place. After all, it had been a while since his band had used the suite for a spontaneous party. And he had slept in this bed with Morrie. “Is something wrong?”, Birdie ripped him out of his thoughts. “Er...no...it's been a while since I've been here, that's all...It's so clean, I can't believe I ever used this...”, Nick explained, looking around. Birdie let her gaze wander around the large suite and silenced. “Ah, nevermind, didn't mean to be a killjoy...”, Nick backed away. “Why don't you take a seat?” He offered the sitting area to her, the one beyond the big sparkling disco ball. “I could make you a non-alcoholic drink too if you like.” Birdie sat down and nodded. “Yes, please.” Later, they had made themselves comfortable.

“What did you want to tell me in the lounge?”, Birdie took up the thread. “You mean, except that you have an outstanding voice?”, Nick said charmingly. She giggled. “You can tell me that, too.” “Honestly, you took me by surprise...touched my very soul...”, he admitted, “There aren't enough songs like these in the world.” She leaned back, flattered but playing it cool. “Oh, I was just...getting stuff out of my mind...I'm deep in thoughts lately, very un-wellie.” Nick nodded. “I see...it made me feel better though, so it had a sense of happiness...” “I'm glad...I'll never forget the face the pianist made when I asked him to play a song for me”, she said smiling at something in her mind. “I can imagine...doesn't happen every day.” “Hell no, I have to keep that a surprise. Stupid paparazzi would swarm the place and Davis would kick me out.” “That wet blanket.” Nick made a face. “Does he ever take Joy?” She giggled. “Only the bad badges.” “Good call.” “He's okay though...” Nick gave her a surprised look. “Yeah. He seems like he has a humour bypass, at first sight, but he's only caring for his hotel.” “His business.” “It's his baby,” she pointed out. “He won't hurt you unless you hurt it.” Nick pondered it. “It's just a building.” “But a pretty one.” Birdie looked around in the suite. Nick was reminded of Arthur for a second. “That it is”, he answered, staring into his drink.

“Nick?”, she reminded him of where he was, darting a meaningful glance at him. He looked up. “You didn't invite me just to compliment me, or did you?”, she asked with a soft voice. “Don't you like compliments?” “I do, but I also like knowing what I'm getting involved in. What are you up to, Nick Lightbearer?” He began to look a little embarrassed. “It may sound crazy...”, he said and shrugged. “I only know you for a couple of days, but I think it could work...” He darted a glance at her. Birdie didn't move. “Would you like to sing along with me at the 14th Annual Memorial Day?” Birdie opened her mouth but no sound came out. “Yeah, I know, it's a little sudden, but I couldn't help thinking about it.” Nick turned to his drink again. She looked puzzled at first and later lit up more and more. “You mean...you and me...on stage...at the biggest event of the year?” “Yeah...I think we've both been quite big this year, we deserve it.” “And your band? Would they agree to this?” “Well...right now, they're not really able to say 'no' to anything...not that I want to exploit them, but...I'm sure they'll have fun.” Birdie lifted an eyebrow. “They're just very happy at the moment”, was all Nick explained. “You don't have to answer now...just consider it. Perhaps it'll be easier for you to find a really good manager after you've been the main act at the party.” “Sure...”, she said, still overwhelmed. “We can rehearse at my place. We don't need to improvise”, he said grinning. Birdie put a hand on her chest. “This day is getting better and better...”, she gasped. Then she looked at him again. “Do you really mean it?” “You can take it to the bank.” She smiled. He could see that something else came to her mind. “Do you have a new manager?” Nick leaned back, trying not to look too proud. “Yes. He's a good friend and he's taking care of things for now. I guess I'll keep him anyway.” “Of course.” He didn't know if she was jealous or amused. Perhaps both.

#wehappfyfew #we happy few #whf #nick lightbearer #whf nick #nicklightbearer #foggy jack #whffoggyjack #whf foggy jack

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princess-hemmo96 · 4 years

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The Deal

Part 8. A Rude Awakening

All week, Colby and I have been hanging out. Whoever woke up first, it's only been me, so I would wake up first and call Colby to wake him up so we could work out first thing in the morning. The worst part about calling Colby and waking him up, is that he doesn't wake up. I have to call him at least five times, and then he takes like 45 minutes to get ready.

Today was Friday, which means that tonight is pizza night, also the night Colby and I announce to our friends that we're 'dating'. We've pretty much worked out most of the details for tonight so the only thing left to do is tell people. We also have to make videos for our channels as well. Since Colby is supposed to post on Fridays, which is today and he has no video, he tweeted and said he had a special video planned and that it would be out tomorrow. I post on Sundays, but I decided I would post tomorrow too just so everyone knows at the same time.

Throughout the week, Colby and I have argued about stupid things, but we managed to move past it. Nothing has turned into screaming matches that were so loud our friends heard it from their apartments. Nothing like that, thankfully. They were arguments we could handle on our own.

It's about 9am, which has been the time I have called Colby all week, so the fact that he's still not up after four days of a retinue irritates me. I was already dressed in my workout outfit so all I had to do was call Colby. So I called him, then called him again, then called him three more times. He would not get up, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I grabbed my water bottle and headed to Colby's apartment. He's not the smartest so I was able to just walk right into his apartment. I'll have to have a chat with him about leaving his door unlocked, especially when he's sleeping.

Since Colby would not wake up to the sound of his phone ringing, I decided he might need to 'cool off' before the gym. I found a larger bowl in a cabinet and filled it up with water. It wasn't freezing or scalding hot, I didn't want to hurt him, so the water was pretty much room temp. I slowly crept into his bedroom and found him still fast asleep in his bed. He looks so peaceful. Not for long.

I walk over to his side of the bed, moving any electronics that could get wet and become ruined, and quickly poured the water on his head.

He shot up and quickly started to wipe his face while I stood next to him and laughed.

"Nicole! Are you fucking serious?!" He yelled. That's when I got quiet. "It's not funny! Now my beds all wet and shit, and my hair is soaking!"

"I- Colby I'm sorry I didn't mean-"

"Didn't mean what? Didn't mean to act like a child?" He yelled some more.

My lip started to quiver. I could take Colby yelling at me in front of our friends about some stupid game, but now it was just us and he was calling me names.

"I'm sorry," I started to cry a little. "I didn't know it would make you this upset, I'll just leave." I started to head toward the door.

"No, don't leave," Colby said in a calmer voice. I turned around and saw that he was out of bed, shirtless with grey joggers on. He slowly walked toward me. "I'm sorry I yelled and made you upset, I didn't mean it," He said looking between the floor and my eyes.

I wiped my eyes and said, "I'm sorry too. I didn't know it would upset you this much. I won't do anything like it again."

He nodded then finally looked at me. "Um, I'm gonna go take a quick shower. I'll be out in 10 minutes then we can go to the gym," He said backing away toward his bathroom.

I looked at him confused. "You're going to take a shower before you workout? How does that make any sense?"

"Well, you did just pour water on me from a bowl that I don't think has ever been washed so you can imagine how dirty I am now."

I nodded. "Alright, I'll see you in 10 minutes then." He quickly ran into the bathroom to shower.

I felt bad for making his sheets wet so I think it would only be right if I washed them for him. So while Colby was in the shower I stripped his sheets and put them in the washer. While his sheets were in the washer I remembered his bowl that was dirty and decided to wash all of his dishes. Thankfully for me Colby doesn't fully know how to adult so he doesn't have that many dishes to wash.

I was halfway done when Colby walked out dressed in his workout clothes. "Where are my sheets?" he asked pointing to his bedroom.

"I felt bad so I put them in the wash," I said while scrubbing dishes.

"What are you doing?" He asks another question while leaning over to see.

"I'm washing dishes since you don't know how to," I said stating the obvious.

"Hey, I know how to wash dishes," He says defensively.

I gave him a look. "Really? Because the dishes at the Trap House said otherwise." He laughed at my stupid comment.

It was quiet for a minute before Colby spoke up. "Look, Nicki," he said walking toward me. I finished washing the last dish and gave him all my attention. "I really am sorry for yelling at you earlier. We've been doing pretty good and I sort of messed it up."

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. I haven't hugged Colby in a long time, and it felt good. "I accept you're apology. And I'm sorry that I did it in the first place. I was just fed up with having to call you more than five times to wake you up. I thought it would be funny, but I won't do it again."

"No, it's okay. It was kind of funny. I know I can be hard to wake up." He let go of our hug. "Now, let's hit the gym." I nodded and started to follow him out the door. "Hey, how did you get into my house this morning?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, we need to talk about that," I said as we headed to the gym.

#colby #colbybrock #colbyfanfic #colby brock #colbybrockfanfic #colbybrockimagine #colbybrockfanfiction #TRAPHOUSE #sam golbach #jake webber #Corey Scherer

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deadcactuswalking · 4 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 31/10/2020 (Ariana Grande, KSI, Little Mix)

I haven’t heard that Ariana Grande album yet as of writing this but the lead single – and title track – “positions” has just debuted at #1 on the UK Singles Chart, her seventh song to hit the top and second this year after “Rain on Me” with Lady Gaga. Hence, that’s today’s #1 and we have a busy and pretty chaotic week of new arrivals. Welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

A lot of their debuts from last week were completely wiped out on this week’s chart which surprises me, especially for songs I thought would hit it big like “One More Time” by Not3s and AJ Tracey. Our notable dropouts here range from bonafide smash hits like “Roses” by SAINt JHN and remixed by Imanbek, which hit #1, although I always preferred “Swoosh” from the same album, to pretty easy and quick fall outs from songs I’ve reviewed in the past few weeks. We’ve got songs that peaked in the top 10 like “Rover” by S1mba and DTG and “I Dunno” by Dutchavelli, Tion Wayne and Stormzy but otherwise that’s mostly it as a lot of these drop-outs are just songs that didn’t really reach their charting potential or have mostly had their day in streaming, like the surprisingly quick drop for “my ex’s best friend” by Machine Gun Kelly and blackbear, as well as “Destiny” by D-Block Europe, “Tap In” by Saweetie, “FRANCHISE” by Travis Scott, Young Thug and M.I.A., “OK Not to Be OK” by Marshmello and Demi Lovato, “Airplane Mode” by Nines and NSG and even “Outta Time” by Bryson Tiller and Drake. If you’re worried about the loss of MGK’s song being too soon for whatever reason, don’t fret as “forget me too” with Halsey, a much better song, is here at #72, our only returning entry for the week. I might as well run through the biggest gains and falls, those both being last week’s debuts. “Train Wreck” by James Arthur absolutely surged up to #24 whilst “Hold” by Chunkz and Young Filly absolutely purged down to #59. To be fair to the general public, I think I’d rather listen to something from four years ago than that song as well. Anyway, let’s start our new arrivals with a couple really interesting choices...

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Sofia” – Clairo

Produced by Rostam

Clairo is one of those artists where I feel completely out of the loop on, especially with all the recent buzz from TikTok, and I was not checking for that album last year, and whilst I didn’t mind her feature on Wallows’ “Are You Bored Yet”, I’d never been intrigued enough to check out the solo work until I guess here we see it on the chart, which is big for the genre of bedroom pop, which again I know next to nothing about. Now, I like lo-fi indie rock fine, but I’ve never really tried to look into the bedroom pop micro-genre – if anyone has any recommendations, that would be appreciated – so this will pretty much be a first gaze into not just Clairo but the entire scene surrounding her. I’m not a Vampire Weekend fan by any means but Rostam on production just give me hope, even if the mix here is a bit too drowned in reverb and echo to give the guitars any more impact when they really should have, at least I think so, they’re pushed back in a way that makes an already pretty calm, fleeting indie single even more lacking sonically. Clairo sounds great on this instrumentation, admittedly, albeit kind of uninterested, but it really is about that fuzzy distortion in the drop that feels... oddly anti-climactic and seemingly pointless considering how little progression is made before or after it. Maybe this genre just isn’t for me, but I feel myself turned off from how Clairo’s pretty beautiful vocal harmonies are not reflected by the production here, whether it be the stiff percussion, abrupt ending or overall lack of substance. This is kind of disappointing as I really wanted to like this. The song is a pretty vague but longing ballad mostly revolving around her crushes on people she saw in the mind, particularly Sofia Vergara and Sofia Coppola, hence the name, and I think it’s actually really well-written. I especially love how the chorus seems to acknowledge that not only are these crushes clearly out of her reach as a teenage girl just discovering her sexuality but also mentioning how afraid she is to really develop on any of these feelings because of how it’s prejudiced against and in some countries outlawed, but the song easily works as just a confession of love without really realising the statement, so it doesn’t feel forced or unnecessary. Sadly, I guess Rostam had to put his prints on this one, but the song itself isn’t bad at all. Hey, I’m not going to complain about a song where I can look at pictures of Sofia Coppola for “research”.

#74 – “All Girls are the Same” – Juice WRLD

Produced by Nick Mira

It’s so odd and kind of heartbreaking to see the Genius comments for this track where they say Juice is “up next for 2018”. It’s also pretty amusing to see some of these annotations...

God, I love Genius.com. This is a 2017 Juice WRLD track from the late rapper that was released as a single from his debut album, Goodbye & Good Riddance. I don’t really understand why this had a resurgence – again, I’m going to assume TikTok or some kind of remix – but it is funny to see a bitter, immature and sloppily-written song about heartbreak and how “all girls are the same” next to a lesbian love ballad on the chart... and above said ballad because we clearly live in a society. I’m not going to mince words here: this is a pretty bad song, at least in my opinion. All respect to Juice but he’s clearly not on top form here, with an uninterested and badly-mixed vocal delivery over a really dull, jingly trap beat with awful bass mastering. In fact, the whole song is mixed awfully and sounds really muddy which may have been the point but it doesn’t complement Juice at all. The lyrics here are purposefully immature and at times stupid, especially when he compares himself to John Lennon and is so desperate for a rhyme the dude says this unnamed girl is from Colorado. I’m not going to deny some of the lyrics here are kind of haunting now due to tragic circumstances but I still get a chuckle out of the vocoder on his voice after massive empty spaces in both the beat and vocal track that makes the song sound clearly amateurish (to be fair to Juice, he clearly didn’t have access to the best studio equipment but it doesn’t excuse the major-label streaming release sounding this sloppy), as well as that opening line.

Broke my heart, oh, no, you didn’t!

Yeah, I’ll take “Robbery” over this any day, or even “Righteous”. Sorry.

#73 – “Martin & Gina” – Polo G

Produced by Hagan, Lilkdubb and Tahj Money

It seems we have two melancholy trap-rappers from Chicago appear consecutively on the chart. I love those types of oddities. If you don’t know Polo G, you probably should, at least from his hit “Pop Out” with Lil Tjay last year, and this is his most recent hit. I typically find his brand of mournful Auto-Tuned crooning about life on the streets remarkably genuine in comparison to most rappers but also admittedly really boring, at least for now. I can see this guy becoming a lot bigger and better but as of now he releases so much music and the quality and effort seems to fall by the wayside more often than not. In typical 2000s bling-rap fashion, this hardcore street rapper’s biggest hit from the album The GOAT (perhaps a bit early to call there, Mr. G) is a guitar-based R&B love jam for the ladies, except it’s not a sex jam...

Girl, I can’t wait ‘til I get home to f*** the s*** out of you

Okay, well, that’s one line.

Man, I’m tryin’ to get to know you sexually

Okay, but at least he’s trying to get to know her. The song’s lyrics do have a genuine heartfelt sense of love and companionship with his unnamed woman, and some of these lyrics are pretty funny and pleasant, albeit shallow. I love how in the first verse he says that even on her worst days she still looks “kind of cute”, in a way that makes this song more down to Earth than other thugs-need-love-too songs, especially when he acknowledges the troubles in their relationship, which may be undermined by the unfortunate implications that come with that “Martin & Gina” comparison but that’s really not the focus of the song, even if it is the title. He may talk about the shopping sprees now but there is evidence here that Polo G genuinely wants to live his life with this woman, especially when he says he wants them to move out to California and live in a mansion. There’s flexing there for sure but it’s less out of a desire to sound “cooler” than the other rappers or the audience, and more out of a desire to make the most out of this relationship in case, as he knows he might have to, he should “pull the stick out and shoot” to protect her. It helps that this is a damn good song with Polo’s catchy flow in both the verses and that infectious chorus, as well as a really slick guitar lick behind that trap knock. Yeah, this is pretty great. Check it out.

#71 – “Spicy” – Ty Dolla $ign featuring Post Malone

Produced by Ty Dolla $ign, Westen Weiss and damn james!

It seems that Ty Dolla $ign has finally clocked that people like him for his features and not his solo work as he has released his most recent album fittingly named Featuring Ty Dolla $ign, following a trend of recent massive collaborative albums in pop music. This particular album features the likes of Kid Cudi, Kanye West (twice), Anderson .Paak, Nicki Minaj, Big Sean, Future, Young Thug, FKA twigs because, well, sure, and obviously, Post Malone. I haven’t listened to the album yet, I mean it sounds exhausting but I don’t necessarily like what I’ve heard. “Expensive” with Nicki Minaj is soulless, “Ego Death” with Skrillex, Kanye and FKA twigs is chaotically misguided and a massive disappointment, “Track 6” with Kanye, .Paak and Thundercat is way too boring for these four artists, and that’s all I’ve heard, except that “Dr. Sebi” interlude with Young Thug that I thought was actually pretty damn good for a one minute snippet. I did brief through some songs on the album right now as I was writing this and I wasn’t really a fan of any of it, not even the songs with Future and Young Thug, artists I actually really like. The song with Kid Cudi was pretty amazing though, which I pretty much expected, I mean it is Cudi after all and he’s really felt revived this year, even if he feels out of place on a sex song. The serpentwithfeet interlude definitely adds to that song though, and it actually leads into this track with Post Malone. This is their second collaboration after their #1 hit “Psycho”, but it’s a lot less interesting, replacing the serenity and smooth flows with more fast-paced trap skitters, hit-and-miss flows that only make Ty$ sound all that great in the tail-end of his verse. Post’s verse is out of place and feels like a regression for him, with the verse sounding like it was taken straight out of the Stoney sessions. The guys have no chemistry and Post doesn’t even contribute to a final chorus, which feels particularly odd as there’s not a bridge to round any of this out properly as it just transitions awkwardly to the sixth track, titled “Track 6”. At least Ty$ isn’t facing 15 years in jail for cocaine possession now, which is something I brought up a disproportionate amount of times in older episodes of this show, because, well, sure.

#69 – “Whoopty” – CJ

Produced by Pxcoyo

CJ is an “up-and-coming” rapper with only one song that pretty quickly went viral. There’s something fishy about this. The only other song by CJ on Spotify and I assume other streaming services is this CashmoneyAP-produced trap song called “On Me” that is completely garbage. It does sound pretty odd that while he doesn’t sound dissimilar in “Whoopty”, this uninterested Auto-Tuned mumbler took three years to get another song on streaming and now he’s an energetic New York rapper using a beat that was literally uploaded to the producer’s website as a “Pop Smoke type beat” weeks before “Whoopty” was released, which, by the way, was an immediate viral hit on YouTube. Very strange, very unusual but not very worth talking about as the one thing “On Me” and “Whoopty” have in common is lack of quality. Sure, I like the Indian sample but it’s quickly drowned out by the booming 808s and pretty rote drill beat. Somehow, CJ sounds too energetic and excited to the point where he’s out of place on a beat this menacing. He sounds like a joke made by a record label to create some kind of popular generic drill track and it does not help that there’s a single verse, with part of it repeated as a bridge, and two repetitions of the same over-long chorus. When Pop Smoke rapped over beats, he was aggressive, sure, but had a smoky voice and a lot more charisma than this flat tonal sandpaper CJ brings to the table. It’s almost offensive to Pop Smoke’s legacy that this was rapped over his “type beat”.

#57 – “SO DONE” – The Kid LAROI

Produced by Omar Fedi and Khaled Rohaim

I figured I’d have to talk about this guy at some point, well, what better time than in the midst of a lot of mediocre American hip hop, although this isn’t American, rather it’s actually an Aussie at it this time, with this 17-year-old kid propped up by Internet Money and Lyrical Lemonade and mentored by the late Juice WRLD. This kid really likes capital letters, and naturally I listened to his last hit “GO!” with his mentor Juice... and, yeah, it’s not good. That hook is stupidly infectious – and the pre-chorus is actually more so – but his delivery is obnoxious and unconvincing, especially in comparison to Juice on the same song. Man, I wish that entire song was as good as its pre-chorus. Anyway, this is a new song, not taken from his debut mixtape aptly and rather politely titled F*** LOVE. It uses an unorthodox ukulele loop as its main sample but once again I’m not a fan of this guy’s immature delivery. Maybe in a few years this Kid LAROI will sound less like a Kid LAROI and more like a genuine rapper but right now he is just barely keeping on beat with a jangly pop beat that would sound really interested if accentuated by the right rapper but here it doesn’t work at all. I do actually appreciate some of the lyrics here, even if they are repetitive and vague. Hey, at least they’re family-friendly PG clean for the most part so he’ll get that radio push, but it’s not like it’s matters here in the UK. I’m sure this lad is the hottest thing to come from Australia this year... okay, well, maybe the second hottest – but I’m not a fan, even if some of these melodies are promising. In fact, I really like some of his ideas, especially in the chorus, I just think that tragically, Juice could have done them more justice than this Kid LAROI ever could. Sorry.

#47 – “Bad Guy” – Morrisson and Loski

Produced by BKay and Harry James

Duh. Okay, so these are both UK drill rappers who I’m not very familiar with although I’ve heard of Loski before. Morrisson is a complete unknown to me. They’re both from London, as one would expect. Is the song any good? Well, I do like that chopped violin sample but Morrisson is only vaguely convincing when he claims to know Vinnie Jones and to be Stone Cold Steve Austin, and when he mentions getting “white-boy wasted” with a woman sniffing coke, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, but that’s actually the point. I mean, the chorus says this:

You need people like me so you can point your f***ing fingers and say, “That’s the bad guy”

The issue here is I’m not convinced. Morrisson’s double-tracked vocals aren’t intimidating or menacing and are mostly overshadowed by a pretty great beat. His delivery is also something I’m not a fan of and while I can’t say he’s uninterested or not putting his all into it, it just sounds weak, especially when pitted against this beat. Loski is here too, but he doesn’t add much to the “bad guy” idea, especially when he starts talking about The Simpsons and Family Guy. Not Mr. Burns or even that angry chicken that fights Peter, just Stewie, Brian, Bart and Homer. Admittedly, “shell out the whip like Mario Kart” is a pretty fun line and I appreciate his flow more than Morrisson’s... but, yeah, I’m not really a fan. I like the concept but it misses the mark on execution.

#44 – “Golden” – Harry Styles

Produced by Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson

So this is the opening track to Styles’ sophomore effort, Fine Line, an album I thought was mildly entertaining pop rock at best and lazy, absolutely worthless trite at worst. I don’t mind Styles’ take on classic 70’s pop and glam rock but I’ve also never found it interesting, and the songs are at times disjointed and at most times just plain boring. I understand I’m probably alone in this but I really disliked this album and I’m not excited that he’s pushing yet another single. The beeping keys that start the song are immediately met with the crash of a drum beat that sounds as flat as Harry’s singing in that obnoxious, sloppy intro refrain. The verse is equally as awkward, with the song lacking in any kind of substance other than that one line of “You’re so golden” which has been overly annotated by fans on Genius to mean a lot more than it does and should. It’s a confession of love but unlike “Sofia”, there’s very little to grab onto in terms of compassion for the singer and I quickly lose interest in what little story there is to the track. The bridge with the high-pitched guitar squealing and squeaky pitch-shifted murmuring is over and done with as slowly as possible and that refrain of nonsense vocalisations just continues without fear or even self-awareness of how annoying it is. This is probably ultimately harmless but it annoys the hell out of me and whilst I predict success for the track, I really hope against it as I absolutely do not like this at all.

#39 – “Teadrops” – Bring Me the Horizon

Produced by Jordan Fish and Oliver Sykes

Yes, that Bring Me that Horizon. Yes, the metalcore band. At least they used to be metalcore and definitely on that heavier side of Kerrang!-core, but what I’m more amazed by is how they continue to ditch the sound and continue to get bigger as they do so. After 14 years, you’d think these guys would stop getting Top 40 hits – hell, the only other hit they had before 2020 was “Drown” – but this is their third this year! I’ll admit I’m not really up to speed on Bring Me the Horizon – I listened to their last record (which was just fine but honestly probably worth listening to for “wonderful life” alone) but not this EP that the singles have been from, and definitely not their older stuff. For the sake of REVIEWING THE CHARTS, however, I did listen to their earlier singles – you can’t say I don’t do much for this show – and I’m overall not really sure on how to feel about this stuff. I still like “Drown” – and always have – but I’ve never been too big on metalcore so I’m actually surprised how much I really enjoyed the Linkin Park rip on “Sleepwalking” (which I’m impressed I remembered the chorus for). I remember liking the practically nightcore track “ouch” and, yeah, it still slaps. Some tracks are very heavy on the electronic, and “Can You Feel My Heart” is reliant on that vocaloid drop, about two years before that became the norm in pop. Just from a skim of their biggest singles, I’m honestly kind of a fan, especially “Throne”, even if I feel like the EDM influences just kind of go nowhere. Also, none of this screams “metalcore” to me but I don’t know, these guys seem to change their style a lot with the only thing staying consistent being Oliver Sykes, and his tone that shifts between nasal pop-punk-style crooning and chopped-up Auto-Tune growling. I talked to a friend about them and they like their earlier stuff mostly, although he “wouldn’t recommend” their debut album to anybody at all. Another friend said he refuses to listen to their music based on the pretentious title of their third record and honestly I think that’s a pretty fair decision. This song sounds like pretty standard BMTH, or at least from what I can gather from the singles and the formula they follow. It starts with a funky and cute, chirpy electronic groove before it’s drowned out by heavier drums and heavy metal guitar riffs, but this time said electronic groove is less integral to the instrumental and the shift to a funkier bassline in the verse might honestly be for the best, although I do love the way the instrumental is chopped up a bit at the end of each repetition of the chorus. It makes the song sound a lot more unique and even if it sounds just as 2012 as their 2012 stuff, I honestly think that’s fine, especially with that abrupt sharp contrast of his raspy yelling over breakbeats quickly followed by some crooning with light piano backing, which may make the song feel messy or structurally disjointed but honestly it works for the chaotic tone of the track and the angst that is presented in the lyrics. Also, although I haven’t evaluated this band since I watched a couple videos on Kerrang!, this feels oddly nostalgic. Huh. Some additional musings: That falsetto Sykes hits in the chorus is great. My friend said that he couldn’t finish the last album they put out which isn’t a good sign but to be fair to them it was an hour-long IDM record, because, well, sure. I’ve written way too much about Bring Me the bloody Horizon at this point so I’ll just move on but I’ll make sure to check out some of their stuff after this.

#37 – “Loading” – Central Cee

Produced by HARGO

Now back to normality, at least I think so. This is another UK drill artist I’ve never heard of. I like this beat, especially that sample of the horns that I’m surprised wasn’t found by crate-digging but it works pretty well under the drill beat; it sounds like a menacing “gangster” song, especially because of how that sample reminds me of 1930s Chicago. I’m not good on my American (or gang) history so that might be nonsense but you know what I mean, right? Black-and-white footage of men in suits gambling whilst women surround them and they all got their money from drug trafficking and they send out hits. Something like that, I don’t know. The song is kind of boring though, this Cee guy has zero charisma and the references to COVID make this immediately dated (not that this song is lyrically all that interesting anyway), and by two minutes the beat has run its course and just starts getting annoying. Yeah, not much to say about this one at all, but it could have been better.

#8 – “Sweet Melody” – Little Mix

Produced by Peoples, MNEK, Morten “Rissi” Ristorp, Oliver Frid and Tayla Parx

I wonder if now that I listened to Bring Me the Horizon for half an hour straight that the last four songs all sound worse, or at least less interesting, in comparison. Well, I doubt that really, I think these songs will just end up being less interesting. I mean, five separate producers on a simple three-minute pop track? This’ll be as market-tested and manufactured as possible, as one would expect from Little Mix. I didn’t mind their last couple promo singles but this song seems to have some actual traction and even a high-budget video behind it and hence it debuted as high as #8. Well, is it any good? Well, it’s no 2013 Bring Me the Horizon, that’s for sure. Jokes aside, the nonsense vocal refrain is kind of awkward and the R&B production here is kind of minimal and just... off, particularly in the first verse and refrain, where the singing and hard 808 is met with only accompaniment from one stray snare that is just... there? The drop doesn’t feel like it has a proper build-up either, and doesn’t even feel like it lives up to that non-existent tension. I do love the harmonies towards the end of the track and the “he would lie, he would cheat over syncopated beats” line is kind of a bar, I suppose, but yeah, this production is awkward and I’m not sure if it really does the girls’ talent justice. I would have preferred something more dramatic and with more of a climax than the skittering hi-hats and vaguely dancehall-inspired bass grooves, but alas, here we are with a pretty mediocre, uninteresting track, which wasn’t exactly unexpected.

#3 – “Really Love” – KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals

Produced by Digital Farm Animals and Mojam

Ah, the trio we all didn’t know we wanted but definitely deserved(?): YouTuber KSI, legendary R&B singer Craig David and a couple virtual elephants. KSI is more than a YouTuber or prankster now to be fair to the guy, with songs like “Lighter” he has cemented himself as a genuine pop star and not in the way that songs used to get viral or even back in 2017 with Jake Paul. KSI is taking this stuff seriously and having fun with it, and, hey, he beat up Logan Paul once or twice so I guess I respect the man to some extent. I’m honestly surprised he got Craig David to be on the song with him. I mean KSI may be popular but I never put much thought into his music or even think it’s any good although the song has clearly debuted this high for a reason. Craig David has a janky hook that just plopped onto the track for a chorus and bridge, with pretty generic lyrics about love, which KSI develops on in some oddly specific ways. He’ll buy this woman Amazon Prime – I hope you enjoy the Borat sequel, guys – and she’ll “wreck his balls like Miley”. Classy. Honestly, the song is mostly fine – KSI’s flow is kind of awkward and stiff still but it’s a lot smoother than it usually is and he does deliver a pretty convincing performance here, as does Craig David, who sounds as great as he did 20 years ago over this groovy house instrumental, with a great bassline that really does fit Craig David more than it does KSI. The trap breakdown is pretty well done as well, which surprised me as I assumed the song would lose all momentum afterwards but, no, it keeps on chugging. This is listenable and far from bad but it’s mostly just a serviceable pop tune. I have no issue with this sticking around as it probably will. Now for the big one:

#1 – “positions” – Ariana Grande

Produced by TBHits, Mr. Frank and London on da Track

Man, I’ve just reviewed 12 songs, I do not feel like talking about the biggest and most important one now. Well, maybe it’s not that and instead the fact that I have this conflict with Grande’s music where someone so unbelievably and obviously talented sounds so incredibly disinterested in the songwriting and production, to the point where her performance is irrelevant. Sure, sweetener and thank u, next had their highs but the former is a complete mess and the latter feels so dull and oddly characterless. Again, these albums aren’t all bad but I feel like they’re still so rushed and infuriatingly so, with Grande having very little involvement, or at least it sounds like that in these albums. Regardless of how much she contributes to each record, it always comes out the other end sounding impersonal, so I’m actually glad she dropped the pretence and is now just doing purely sexy R&B stuff. I haven’t listened to the full album yet but with song titles like “34+35”, I can kind of expect what I’m going into here. That said, I’m not really a big fan of the title track and lead single here, although I can understand why it debuted at #1. Firstly, the video where she becomes the President of the United States for practically no reason is great. Secondly, the beat is pretty good and produced by London on da Track, who I’m kind of disappointed didn’t put his producer tag here. It would have at least been kind of funny hearing it transition into Grande’s sweet whispery vocal tone. I like the slick trap percussion, cricket sound effects and that chirpy guitar pluck, and especially those strings in the second pre-chorus which sound genuinely awesome. Ariana’s a great performer but the chorus is kind of weak, especially lyrically – I don’t mind the opening and main line about switching positions, hell, it’s kind of clever, but “I’m in the Olympics the way I’m jumping through hoops”? Really? The bridge is also pretty short and lazy; I feel like it could have actually been done away with or put as an intro and would have worked just as well replacing the second chorus with that final chorus, background whistle notes and all. That said, the song is a solid lead single and I am kind of excited to hear the rest of the album, even if this is at least somewhat of a retread.

Conclusion

What a mixed bag. I’m generally pleased with what we have here though and I am going to give Best of the Week to “Teadrops” by Bring Me the Horizon with an Honourable Mention to Polo G for “Martin & Gina”, although Clairo would have gotten close without Rostam on the boards. There’s nothing all that bad here except “Golden” by Harry Styles which does get an easy Worst of the Week, with a Dishonourable Mention to CJ’s “Whoopty” for just being lazy. Here’s this week’s “spooky” top 10 – it is Halloween after all:

You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for political ramblings if you so wish but I wouldn’t recommend it, especially if you like Keir Starmer, but all politics aside, thank you for reading this far and I’ll see you next week.

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polzkadotz · 4 years

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Asas reread their fics - ftayc - part 4

And we’re back to rereading this fic!!!! last chapter i reread was the 7k monster of chapter 3, and this one... oh. Oh, this is also 7k?

wowie

if you want a spoiler to interest you, here we go lmao

we begin with this author’s note bc I don’t think I ever really talked about it here on my tumblr???

It was sort of my first time being recommended, really. I had noticed that my hit count had gone up substantially and I couldn’t understand it, but it was nice??? and then i found the post on the library and I was like Oh. I See.

Whoever it was that recommended me, thank you. Seriously.

But enough mushy-wushy, let’s tackle this giant.

We begin with this exchange, which...

I was trying to be funny and this still makes me smile so at least I amuse myself lmao

Neil needs to free himself of the plot device I pulled out of nowhere and he taps into his reserves of power that he has hid away for, basically, forever. One thing that I wish I had made more clear, which was basically the vitriol going through my mind as I wrote this fic, was that Neil had been cutting himself of his powers and how powerful he was for a fucking long time because

1) he bought into his mom’s reasoning that his father was simply Not Someone They Could Face and Win

2) he had made himself fit into a mold that would “make him survive” but, by doing so, he basically chained himself to a fraction of the three-dimensional person he used to be, which made meeting Jean and finding out that he had become a pet god for a human even worse because Neil could see all the ways they were similar but Neil had been doing that shit to himself voluntarily.

Originally, when I thought about making Neil a god in this fic, I did think about modeling him out of an existing god but also, the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to make him be someone who was struggling with letting himself be what he was with his full-potential. Someone who had been cutting himself back for so long he had basically lost whatever sense of personhood he used to have. Someone who had started to get tired of cutting parts of himself and forgetting what he used to be so he would survive for--

What? Survive for what? Neil eventually realized he hadn’t been a person for too long and as long as his father was alive, he would never feel safe to be.

Now that I think about it, Neil was very much me working through my own shit about trying to live as myself at the same time that I had different versions of past me struggling with the person I was becoming. The person I wanted to be.

Anyway, back to the story.

There’s a throwaway paragraph where I sort of tease that Andrew’s dragon is becoming "hungry” and it was basically me trying very hard to foreshadow that the priest thing was going to happen lmao

After battling for two paragraphs against the thought of creating a new priest, Neil gets them back on track to go as far away as its possible for both dragons flying.

Nicky tries to get Neil to talk about the god thing, and I like how I made it clear that even being reminded that he had been a god was something conflicting to Neil.

And then we get to the part where Neil suddenly remembers that he has a lot more money than what he had previously said in the first few chapters, but who cares about plot consistency, am I right? Does it show that this fic was edited hastily? Because I can guarantee that it was :3

They stop in Mumbai, I think (the place is not important for past Asas and honestly... can’t say that’s changed lol). Nicky tries to get Neil to talk more about being immortal and stuff. Neil gives a bit of backstory, as a treat, and Kevin reveals what he knows, as a threat I guess lmao

I kind of imply that Neil only had one priest, which... I remember is not what I put in the sequel.............. so I do recommend you reread your fics before writing a new piece, wink-wink

OH MY GOD I MADE NICKY ASK WHY NEIL’S ENGLISH “WASN’T WEIRD” AND THEN I REPLIED WITH A SENTENCE THAT WAS BASICALLY STRUCTURED WITH PORTUGUESE GRAMMAR AND SOUNDS VERY WRONG IN ENGLISH

Asas... my god, Asas.

Anyway, after a lot of questioning, they eventually go to sleep and, when Neil wakes up from a nightmare, he has his daily fairy tale dose from Andrew, who’s also awake. I gotta be honest, I don’t even remember that fairy tale but it explains the Aaron, Andrew and Tilda.

After everybody wakes up from their naps, they go to their last destination: Tokyo.

Wait lemme check:

when did they leave Mumbai in my story?

when did they reach Tokyo?

yeah, that math totally checks out.

Whatever. As they arrive in Tokyo, Neil splurges even more money on a hotel for the whole crew, even though they had been pretty not nice to him as a whole lmao. But! The boy believed he was going to die, so what was he going to do with all that money?

Nothing, so he programmed an email to be sent to Andrew with the info for some of his bank accounts and fucked off to try and find what his mother had stolen.

Neil gets on a ferry that will take six hours to reach the island where is the volcano that his mother had made him hide his father’s immortality. Neil got nekkid because he wanted to have clothes when he got out of the volcano, you know?

(Also, yes, I’m gonna ignore the other time inconsistency from his travel inside Japan, I was very much pressured by the whole “got recommended on the library” okay, you can judge me through those lenses)

Unfortunately, for him, he wasn’t alone when he finally climbed out of the volcano.

Fortunately for him, this Ichirou Moriyama doesn’t want his father, who is very much interested in becoming immortal, to actually become immortal. Neil explains the whole immortality thingy (I found some typos and honestly? I shan’t fix them. It adds character) and Ichirou subtly kicks Neil’s clothes closer to him, which... I get it, my guy. It’s kind of difficult to have an intimidating conversation when someone’s bits are out and about.

As they are trying to hash out their problem -- as in, Neil’s father told them that Neil’s immortality would be viable to cure Kengo --, Andrew appears blowing his ball of flames onto both of them, and Neil uses his powers to create a pocket that repels the fire, so it doesn’t touch him or Ichirou.

(Why didn’t he use those powers on his clothes, as well? Dunno, don’t poke at my plot too much or it will definitely crumble right into your face, you’re gonna inhale too much dust and die from fandom toxicity, AND THAT’S NO WAY TO REACH A GOOD DEATH)

btw:

Neil, my dude. The dragon thought you were in danger? Chill out???

Neil rages for a few seconds but quickly turns that into a situation to ask Moriyama for his protection against his father, since Neil just technically saved his life.

Oh, and if you think “Uhhh, why would Neil even believe that Ichirou would keep his word?”

Don’t worry, I gotchu:

Ichirou agrees with the deal, for plot reasons. Since he got a deal out of it kind of easily, Neil thinks, “Wait a minute. If I give my father’s immortality to this Moriyama, literally passing the hot potato around, then the Moriyamas won’t be after me for an immortality, my father probably won’t be immortal and come after me as the death machine he used to be and I might be able to use it to free a certain god????”

So Neil uses his father’s immortality to bargain for Jean’s freedom, and he doesn’t wait for Moriyama’s response for that one. He simply hops onto dragon!Andrew’s back and they fly away into the... sunset? Sunrise? Don’t ask me, I clearly can’t keep track of the time passage in my fics.

And this is the end of the chapter!

Let me say something that I hope will be quick: this chapter felt much better written to me then the other three. It’s shaky in places, definitely, and it could’ve gone through a more severe round of editing, but I can certainly feel the positive outcomes of the pressure I felt after my work got a shout-out. This fic had been pretty much geared towards myself, so writing about the world-building wasn’t my focus at all in the other three chapters. In this one, I try to at least explain some concepts I came up with which???? Go me??????

I still wish I had taken the time to work on this entire fic to make it as close to what I had in my head, but in a comprehensive form for the attention that it got, you know? I mean, from the ashes you crawl is still my most everything -- most kudos, hits, comments, bookmarks... It deserved so much better but also... I like that it feels rough? I like that it can clearly help to contrast the growth of my style or whatever?

It was written after a long, long writer’s block, and it only got edited and posted because I decided to participate in an event for a different fandom and it got me excited about writing again.

Anyway, I’ve talked too much. Here’s to hoping I can contain myself in the next posts lmao

#rereading #fic: from the ashes you crawl #fic: ftayc #dragon!andrew #dragon!andrew minyard #god!neil #asas reread their fics #god!neil josten #all for the game #all for the game fic #aftg fics #andrew minyard #neil josten #my fics #tfc fics #my writing

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idontknowwhatsarcasmis · 5 years

Text

The Lost Moments - Endgame

I’ll admit that the film reaaaaaaaaally got me upset and I was very much discouraged to write the next chapter…. Sorry about that! BUT my life has also gotten ridiculously crazy with post graduation, work and shit soo it wasn’t juuust cause I was angry at the franchise… But recently I watched the trailer for “Away From Home” and Maria *talks in the trailer*, guys! She has LINES!! =D

Soooo I sat my ass and tried to write more haha! Hope you enjoy it =D

Also, hooray for me for posting this BEFORE the new Spider Man comes out… it was hard XD I’m sleepy, but almost yay!

P.S.: Sorry for the possible tears… but pleaaase comment! :D

P.P.S.: Pleaaaaase don’t hate me! If you guys ask nicely I miiight continue!

Ao3

Ff.net

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The ship had barely landed and Natasha was already tripping her way down, arms wide and ready as her daughter threw herself at her. Tears broke out as soon as she felt the slim arms around her body. Pain shot through her side because of her injuries, but she barely felt it.

She didn’t care.

As soon as she felt she sweet smell of her daughter's perfume as she cradled Nicky's head closer to her, the shaking started. Natasha could not tell if it came from her or Nicky, but soon the sobs that came out had a very clear point of origin. Natasha had to fight hard not to wallow in despair alongside her daughter.

"Momma, Ka-kaelan, momma…"

Natasha pulled her tighter, tapping into whatever pool of strength she had left to keep control over her emotions.

She could feel the others back on the ramp, giving them time.

“I know, little one.” She said, voice trembling. For the first time in decades, Natasha wished she hadn’t tried so hard to overcome her Black Widow’s training. She wanted to be able to talk to her daughter without falling apart.

“He’s just gone, momma. G-Gone.” Her daughter kept saying, voice becoming an incomprehensible sound as the sobs become worse.

Natasha closed her eyes tighter, biting her lip so hard it drew blood. She couldn’t say anything. There was nothing she could think of… Maria would have known what to say. Oh, she knew her wife would have been heartbroken as well, but she knew Maria would know just the right words.

God, not even 24 hours and she was already a mess without her.

She opened her eyes and looked up to the sky, trying to blink away the tears, taking deep breaths.

Making shushing noises, Natasha crouched to pick up her daughter – not a feat as easy as it once was, especially with her whole body aching from the fight and grief, but the weight still brought her comfort. To have her daughter so close to her, a piece of her and Maria.

She walked up to the front porch, opening the door and picking up a blanket before sitting down on the couch with Nicky on her lap. She felt more than saw the others approaching and closing the door behind her.

“It’s gonna be alright, little one.”

She let her daughter cry on her shoulder, just repeating the words like a mantra. Her eyes glanced around the room, watching her friends who were still there, standing in her living room with tears in their eyes. They were all silent, staring at nothing, minds far from this place, where they’d met so many times to celebrate or joke around. Natasha’s eyes closed once more as she caressed Nicky’s hair.

“W-where is Clint?” Steve said after what was probably half an hour. Natasha froze, looking around her, and it clicked. Something really didn’t add up. Clint. Where was he? Why was he not here, with her daughter, his goddaughter?

“He left.” A broken voice whispered.

Silence.

“What?” Thor asked, taking one step closer, voice barely above a murmur.

“H-he came to see me after…after…” She trailed off, but now she wasn’t the only one shaking.

"He did WHAT?!" Natasha asked, using her hands to push Nicky away a bit so she could look her in the eyes.

"He left... aunt Laura and… and Nataniel and Cooper and Lila... they vanished… l-like Kaelan…"

Natasha just kept looking at her, her mind blank.

"Uncle Clint, he looked at me.... hugged me... said he was sorry... and left."

Steve was quick to pick up Nicky from her lap one second before she got up, phone on her ear as she stormed through the house towards the backyard.

Voicemail.

Redial

Voicemail.

Redial.

Voicemail.

“YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Natasha screamed as soon as she was far enough. “How DARE you Clint?! My kid just lost her brother and her mother, and you left her?! ALONE?!” She was fuming, walking around blindly, hoping that Nicky couldn’t hear her. “You fucking bastard! How could you?! You are her godfather!! COME BACK! She needs you! We need you! Clint, for fuck’s sake! I need you!” She dropped on her knees, tears back on her eyes as she punched the ground.

“Please Clint…what do I do? I can’t do this by myself…”

Strong arms wrapped around her, tightly.

“You’re not alone, Nat.” Steve’s voice sounded soothing in her ears. Broken, but sincere. “You’ll never be alone, okay?”

Natasha just nodded, letting her phone drop as she let herself beheld for a second. Steve pulled away to look at her. He hesitated on saying something, and Natasha almost scoffed.

“What is it, Steve?” What else could happen to hurt her, after all.

Steve looked pained. Even more than before.

“Nicky… Nicky’s asking where’s M-maria...” He finally said, and Natalia wished that she hadn’t asked anything.

Her daughter needed her. Needed her to answer that her mother was not coming home. That Natasha had failed. That Maria was never coming home, cause Natasha had been too incompetent to stop that fucking bastard.

Taking a deep breath, Natasha got up and walked back to her house, head held high, hands shaking with the effort of trying to look calm. Trying to look comforting. Trying to look exactly the opposite of what she was feeling. She felt more than heard Steve right behind her, whispering her name, but she couldn’t stop. She needed to do this now.

She could do this. She could look her daughter in the eyes and comfort her as she said it. As she told her Maria would not come back.

She walked through the back door and the kitchen. They were still in the living room. Nicky was sitting on the sofa, wrapped around a blanket Maria had gotten especially for her.

She could do this.

Silence.

She could d-

"Momma... where... where's mama?

Natasha closed her eyes, fists tightening. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She tried a second time. Nothing.

Nicky got up, shaky hands touching Natasha’s.

“Momma?”

Silence.

She didn't need to say anything anymore. She felt her daughter jerk one step away. Knew she was looking at the others for confirmation.

She knew the second she found it.

The tears fell down once more and the shaking doubled.

Shame.

She'd failed the Universe and her team.

She'd failed her daughter.

She'd failed her son.

She'd failed Maria.

She was no good. To anyone.

It should have been her.

Xxxx

Natasha hugged Nicky tightly as the others got ready to get on the ship.

“You’ll bring them back?” Her daughter asked. “Both of them?”

Natasha didn’t dare answer. What if they couldn’t?

They had to…

But what if…?

“Momma?” Her daughter’s voice was desperate with hope.

She felt all of her companions hold themselves back at that. Knew they all wanted to come and hug Nicky with her. All of them, no exception. They’d grown as a family. Despite all the pain and anger that may have happened through the years between them, Maria and her two kids were a point of reference for every Avenger. The superheroes were all rather tied around Nicky and Kaelan’s fingers.

“Ma?” Nick asked again, voice once more worried and Natasha broke.

“Yeah…” she whispered, hearing everyone sucking in their breaths. “W-we’ll…” she swallowed “We’ll do our best, okay? We’ll bring them back.”

“Promise?”

Natasha closed her eyes, tears forming up.

“Baby, please…”

“Promise, momma!”

Her daughter was crying and Natasha caved.

“I promise.”

They had to bring them back. They had to.

Cause Natasha just didn’t know what she’d if they didn’t.

It should have been her.

Xxxx

Hope.

Hope was a funny thing, wasn't it?

So easy to build. Equally easy to destroy. Very hard to forget.

All very much represented in one phrase. In the swoop of Thor's axe.

In one head rolling on a dirty floor.

Gone.

Poof.

Swish.

Just like Kaelan and just like Maria.

Now she'd have to go back home and take the hope away from Nicky again. She closed her yes.

She wouldn't blame Natasha. She had too much of Maria in her. Of her Masha. She wouldn't blame her. No one would. They didn't have to. Natasha blamed herself enough for it.

She felt Danvers’ hand on one shoulder and Steve’s on the other. She wanted to shrug them off, but couldn’t muster the strength.

It should have been her.

Xxxx

Five years.

Five years go by really fast.

And, at the same time, it went by so painfully slow

Nicky grew up, of course, into an amazing teenager. At the age of 13, she was already so very much like Maria in personality that it was actually quite scary to look at. If she didn’t know better, Natasha would have said the two were actually blood related. Even after five years, Natasha wasn’t sure if it hurt more or less to see her wife in the movements, the words, and the looks her daughter would throw around. In the pose of a hand. In a raised eyebrow. In a glare…

All of the Avengers had kept in touch in a way. Always showing up for her birthday and special occasions. Tony, Pepper and their little girl in particular made sure to always come by and let the two girls get to know each other. Steve was always around. The most frequent visitor. It seemed he’d taken upon himself to be there for every little thing Natasha and Nicky needed. Natasha appreciated it more than she had words for, and she knew that Maria would have as well.

As for Natasha herself, well... She had no idea how she’d survived those past five years. She didn’t really remember how she’d gotten day by day. She just knew that she’d tried her best. She’d been right; Nicky hadn’t blamed her. There had been no need, though, as the broken sobs her daughter cried in her arms when the group returned from their failed mission had stayed with her since that day. Every time she kissed her girl to sleep (cause she still did it every night, even with her being a teenager now), she’d hear it as she closed the door. And she’d fall asleep with that sound. With the sound of a ringing phone and no answer.

It should have been her.

Xxxx

Natasha just kept looking at Steve on the other side of the table.

Hope.

As she heard Scott talking and talking about time travel, and all that crazy stuff, the only thing on her mind was ‘hope’.

Maria.

Kaelan.

Hope.

It was selfish, but she didn’t care. Hope of fixing this sad excuse for a life. Hope of having the love of her life in her arms again. Of having her little boy running around their backyard.

Her whole family together.

“So, who do we talk to about this?” Scott asked.

Natasha was halfway through the room by the time he’d finished asking. She didn’t bother to turn back; she knew Steve was gonna take Scott to the ship and tell him to keep his mouth shut.

She had a daughter to wake up and a billionaire to visit.

Xxxx

As soon as Morgan saw Nicky, she ran from Tony’s to her daughter’s arm.

“Nicky!”

“Morgan, hi!”

“You came to see me!”

Natasha had to laugh at the statement, not a question. that came from the little Stark. That was all Tony.

“I have! Let’s continue that game we started last time you came over?” Her daughter asked, voice excited, and Natasha knew it wasn’t fake at all, even though she’d asked Nicky to distract Morgan when they arrived. She hadn’t questioned anything, and Natasha thanked her lucky stars (if there were any) for that; she did not want to give Nicky hope again if it had no foundation.

The group watched as the two girls excitedly entered the house, hearing Pepper greet them warmly inside.

“That was below the belt. Using your kid. Not fair, ‘Tasha.” Tony said in lieu of greeting. Eyes never leaving Scott. “You’re alive.”

Natasha stepped between them.

“We need to talk, Stark. Now.”

“Stark? This is serious.”

“You’ve no idea.

…

Every rebuttal from Tony’s lips made Natasha’s fist tighten with anger.

“That’s right, Scott, I won’t. Even. Got a kid.”

Natasha snapped.

“And weren’t you lucky she wasn’t born yet five years ago.”

Everyone went silence. She knew why. She knew how her voice sounded. Dead silent. Devoid of any apparent emotion, just a deadly fury hiding underneath.

She was done being nice. She didn’t care about the slim chances. Didn’t care if it was based on a fucking film. She wanted her family back, and he was denying her that chance.

“Yeah. I was. Very lucky, and I don’t intend to mess with that.”

“So all those that weren’t that lucky? Screw them, right? You’re still the same damn selfish son of a –“

“Oh, don’t act like you’re all so different, Natasha!” Tony raised his voice to match hers, both ignoring the warning tone from Steve. “If it was the other way round you’d-“

“I’d what Stark? We’ll never know what I’d do, cause I don’t have them! I don’t! I didn’t even get to say goodbye, Tony! All I’m asking is for you to give us a fucking chance to get the people we love back!” She knew she was crying, could feel the tears running down her cheek and she got madder.

“You’re asking me to risk the life I have!”

“I’m asking you to get off your ass and fight, goddamn it!”

She said, taking one step forward, hands gripping the lapels of his jacket. Steve and Scott both took a step closer with her.

“Nat, stop.”

Steve was trying. Natasha knew he wouldn’t succeed.

“Natasha, it’s suicide. There is absolutely no guarantee-“

“I’m good with that.”

“We’ll, I’m not in the mood for dying!”

Natasha heard steps coming on the porch. Part of her knew that both their kids were now watching, and so was Pepper. She didn’t care. He needed to agree to this.

She wasn’t the only one to notice the new spectators though.

“Think of your daughter, then. What if you die in this?” Tony said, voice low, hands gripping her wrists back just as tightly.

“I’m trying to get her other mother, brother and the fucking world back.” she seethed, gritting her teeth so hard it almost hurt.

“You really think Maria wou-“

She didn’t hesitate, her fist left the jacket and flew straight to his face at the mention on Maria’s name.

“Momma!”

“Dad!”

The two kids shouted, but no one moved, not even Pepper.

“Do not. She’d do anything. She’d have rationalized a plan. And she’d have done it years ago.” Natasha whispered, voice broken.

“Yeah… she would have.” Tony agreed, fingers lightly touching his nose to check the damage. As she looked back at him, she saw tears in his eyes, but Natasha knew it wasn’t from the pain. She’d held back. His nose wasn’t even broken.

“I’m sorry, Nat. I really am.”

Natasha turned around and left. Not looking at her daughter’s slightly confused, slightly hurt eyes. Didn’t look at the pity in Pepper’s. She just walked, focusing on her breathing. Already planning on how to get to wherever the fuck Bruce was.

As they were all sitting and the quinjet was taking off, Natasha just mumbled.

“Green.”

Steve nodded. Scott and Nicky looking confused.

“We need a bigger brain.” He explained.

Nicky got it. Scott didn’t.

Her daughter rolled her eyes.

“Uncle Bruce.”

“Who?”

She stared at him and, at any other moment, Natasha would have laughed at her daughter telling off Ant-man.

“The Hulk… duh.” Steve did laugh. Scott just looked ridiculously embarrassed with blushing cheeks.

“Ah…”

Xxxx

“Well, you pulled this off. I remember a time when that seemed pretty impossible too.” Natasha said, eyes never leaving Bruce’s.

He sighed, shoulders dropping, and Natasha held back her breath.

“He said no, didn’t he?” Bruce asked, eyes on the ceiling.

Her fists tightened, and she let Steve answer that.

“Yeah… He did. He has… reasons.”

Before Natasha could open her mouth, Steve was already speaking again.

“We might not agree with his decisions, but we can’t deny his reasoning behind it, Nat. You know we can’t.”

She just shook her head, refusing to speak at all in fear of saying something she might regret later. She just looked at Bruce again, who was analyzing his hands.

Silence.

“Bruce… please.” She mumbled, and at any other time she’d have flinched at her own tone. At how pathetic and desperate she sounded. She knew all eyes were on her. She didn’t care. She’d do anything for a chance at getting all of her family back. Anything.

“Okay.”

It was like she could breathe again.

Xxxx

“Momma?”

“Yeah?” Natasha mumbled, eyes fixed on Bruce and Scott as the he gave instructions to the latter.

“This is crazy.”

Natasha bit back a laugh.

“Well… most of our plans have always been crazy.”

“Momma…”

“Good! Cause if we blow the grid, I don’t wanna lose tiny here in the 1950s!” Bruce said, and it snapped Natasha to attention, her eyes widening like her daughter’s and everyone else’s in the room.

“Excuse me?” Scott panicked, almost backing away from the machine.

“He’s kidding!” she was quick to say, taking a step closer to Bruce, knowing her daughter was right behind her. “You can’t say things like that!” She angry whispered to him.

“It was a bad joke!”

Natasha shook her head. Glancing at Nicky, who was just now shooting her an incredulous look, she turned back to Banner.

“You were kidding, right?”

“I have no idea. We’re talking about time travelling here!”

Natasha felt a tug on her top.

“Momma…”

Natasha just nodded this time.

“Yeah, okay…”

Maybe this was a bad idea.

But… Maria…

Kaelan...

Bruce pressed the button and all of them held their breaths.

A teenager… a teenager was in front of them.

“Guys… who’s that?” Nicky asked.

“Ahm…” Bruce said as he stared.

“Is that Scott?!” Natasha asked incredulous.

“Yes!”

Button.

“Oh dear…” Nicky said, hands sort of covering her eyes, but not really. Natasha felt like doing the same.

Old Scott.

“Momma, this is not working.” Nicky deadpanned.

Sometimes Natasha hated how similar her daughter was to her and Maria.

“Yes, baby, I can see that.”

Another try. A baby.

A fucking baby.

They were doomed.

Bruce waved his hand at her urgently.

“When I say kill the power, kill the power!”

“Oh my god.” She mumbled heading towards the generator, ignoring her daughter’s disbelief look.

As soon as she hit the switch, they all stopped, holding their breaths.

“Somebody peed my pants...” Scott, an apparently normal Scott, said.

“Oh, thank god.” Natasha exhaled, letting herself drop against the wall. She saw her daughter shaking her head and leaving the room right about the time Bruce yelled something about this being time travel.

Maybe her kid and Tony had a point... this was too crazy even for them.

Xxxx

“Feeling more confident?” Natasha asked her daughter, a smile on her voice.

The beam she got in return made her heart lighter. Hope. Hope shone brighter than the damn sun in her Nicky’s eyes, and it lit up Natasha from the inside out. Because this had to work. There was no way around it.

“Well, Uncle Tony is in on it now! Nothing against Uncle Bruce, but I mean…”

Natasha laughed; it’d been a long time since she’d seen her daughter this free. This… happy.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Pulling her into a hug, Natasha just sighed happily. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

“Don’t tell either of them… Uncle Tony would get an even bigger head!”

The two shared a laugh at that.

“He really would.” Natasha agreed.

Mother and daughter stood quiet for a few moments, both staring at the frame on the opposite wall.

It was the four of them. Maria and Natasha each had a kid on their hips. Smiling like it was the happiest day of their lives. Natasha smiled; she remembered that day. Natasha had just settled home for good and Maria had been ‘fired’, so it had been the first day of a long period of time where they would just be together. Just the four of them and visits from their odd little family once every so often. They were happy.

The happiest Natasha had ever been.

“We’ll get them back, momma.”

Natasha started when her daughter spoke. She was so focused on the picture and the memory that she’d had a momentary lapse. She looked at Nicky; the intensity of her gaze made Natasha think of her wife once more.

“Yeah. We will.”

Cause she really had no idea what to do if they didn’t this time.

Xxxx

“Natasha, someone has to get him. Someone has to stop him.” Steve said, voice clear.

She hummed, eyes fixed on the ground outside. Steve sighed.

“Natasha-“

“He left, Steve. He just left her here. Alone.”

There was silence. Steve knew there was no possible excuse for Clint having left Nichole alone the way he did. None of them would have done it. None of them should have done it. No matter the circumstance. They were family. Family.

“Nat, he… he knew we’d get there so-”

“He did not know that. He didn’t. He had no fucking clue if any of us were alive, Steve. So don’t bullshit me. He left like it didn’t matter. Like he didn’t care, so why should I go now then?! Why should I try to save the bastard who left her, who left all of us when we most needed him?!”

She didn’t realize she’d started shouting, but she had. By the end of her tirade, she’d turned around and was starting at Steve with tears in her eyes, heart beating fast. The wound was 5 years old, but it still hurt. Everything about that day still hurt deeply. But there was nothing to be done about some things… anger was easier. More liberating.

“Why should I bother, Steve? Just because we have hope? He wouldn’t stick around when we needed him, so why would I try and giving him anything?”

She asked and saw hope leaving his eyes.

“Nat-“

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

Natasha and Steve both turned around fast towards the door.

“Nicky…”

“Because it’s the right thing to do, momma. Yes, he was a coward. Yes, he left. But he’s still Hawkeye. He’s still Uncle Clint in there somewhere. Even after everything... You got him back once, ma. You can do it again.”

“Nicky, what he did… How can I-“

“We’re not the only ones hurting, momma.” Her daughter came closer, grasping both her hands in her slightly smaller ones. “You still had me left. And I had you. Can you imagine if that hadn’t been the case?”

“Nicky!” she admonished her. She didn’t wanna think of it. Never. It’d come so close to it.

“Momma.” she said, voice steady and serious, the look on her eyes so full of trust, love and determination that it was as if Maria was staring at her, chastising her for being too stubborn. “I know you wouldn’t have done the same as him, but momma, I know enough to know that it’d have crossed your mind.”

Natasha stopped, staring at her daughter. At the faith she had in her. Natasha wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t have done the same as Clint… the killing part, not the-

“I’d never have left any of the kids. Never.” she said instead.

“I know, momma. I’m not saying to forgive and forget. But he needs to be stopped. If not for himself, ma, then for Aunt Laura and my cousins. When they come back, they deserve better than what Uncle Clint has become.” she said, with such an air of certainty and finality that Natasha felt as if she was being sent off on a mission.

A chuckle coming from behind, told her she wasn’t the only one.

“It’s uncanny, isn’t it?” Natasha asked, cupping Nicky’s cheek with one hand.

The girl blushed as Steve laughed. Natasha smiled, feeling a bit of laughter coming up as well. She needed that.

“Mommaaaaa!” Her daughter complained, making both adults lose their restraint and really give in to the moment, making it much lighter than it was before.

Cheeks still red, Nicky puffed “I was being serious!”

Still chuckling, Steve approached her, putting one arm around her shoulders.

“We know, squirt. But it was really funny how it brought back many, many memories.” There was a nostalgic smile on his face, and Natasha knew the same was on hers, if perhaps a bit more pained.

There was a small silence.

“Do I really act that much like her?” her daughter’s voice was quiet. Almost as if she were afraid to bring up Maria’s name. Natasha knew it was her fault… She’d always get in a weird mood when Maria was mentioned. Her punching Tony was proof enough of that. She swallowed the lump on her throat and managed as proud a smile as she could.

“Yeah. Especially when you get bossy like that. You look and sound exactly like M-Maria.” She said, and both Steve and Nicky’s eyes widened at that.

…It hadn’t been that long since she’d said her name… had it?

“Yeah?” Nicky asked, shyly.

“Yeah.”

“And you’ll talk with Uncle Clint?”

“I’ll kick his ass.” She answered.

“Back here?”

“I’ll try.”

“Good. I’ll take that.”

Steve laughed again. “This is ridiculous!”

Mother and daughter laughed at that. Natasha looked at Steve.

“Stay with her?”

He looked her in the eye.

“Always.”

Xxxx

“Alright, I’m going…”

It’d be the first time they were apart since coming back with news of Thanos’ death. Natasha was really reluctant. And now that they had to say goodbye, she could see Nicky (despite her hard orders) also hesitating.

“Yeah… kick his ass, momma… then bring him back, yeah?” Her daughter asked, arms still around Natasha’s waist.

“Yeah, I’ll try.” She answered. “To bring him back, I mean. I know I can kick his ass.”

“Okay!” Nicky laughed, squeezing her one more time before letting her go. Natasha was a bit slower to do the same.

With one last smile, she turned to head to the quinjet.

“Momma… be careful.”

Natasha pause. Closing her eyes, an unbidden smile came to her lips.

“Is that an order, little agent?”

She just knew her daughter was straightening her shoulders.

“It is, agent Hill!”

“Aye, aye, ma’am.”

With a smile, and an ease she hadn’t felt in years, Natasha boarded the ship.

Xxxx

"You son of a bitch." Natasha said quietly. Silent fury still there, reaching this massive strength that was just ready to explode.

All of her guilt, all of her frustration and anger and hatred and hurt of five years about to come unleashed and she couldn't stop it.

She did not want to stop.

He turned.

"Nat...I'm-"

She didn't let him finish, she attacked.

It was ugly. It was bloody. And both her wife and daughter would be sorely disappointed in her (or them both). By the time it was over, Natasha was hurting in places she did not remember could get hurt. Lying on the floor opposite of Clint, who also looked like he couldn’t move at all, she spat some blood.

“Ouch.” Clint said after a while.

“Yeah.” Natasha mumbled, feeling her ribs hurt at even that. Maybe those five years had made her soft.

“Let’s not do this again.” he said.

“Don’t make me want to do it, then.”

She couldn’t see it, but Nat knew he was nodding.

Silence.

“I am sorry, Nat.”

“That doesn’t cut it, Clint…”

A sigh.

“I know.”

“But it’s a start.”

They both smiled at each other. It was a start.

As they both helped each other to the quinjet, Natasha started to laugh.

“What?”

“You do know that as much as this hurts right now, Nicky’s waiting for you when we get home, right?”

The fact that Clint went paler than ever before made Natasha feel better than a punch or two possibly could.

Xxxx

"Barton." The clipped voice, the squared shoulders reminded Natasha so much of Maria she had to look away. She saw some of the others do the same.

She saw the hurt appear and disappear from Clint's face, and she knew that he didn't believe he deserved to feel hurt. He was right.

"Nicky."

Everyone held their breath as she approached him.

She was expecting a punch. He was expecting one. Hell, everyone in the room was probably expecting one. Natasha would definitely have punched him. Natasha had punched him.

Repeatedly.

But then again, Maria was there as well; it was not just Natasha.

Nicky just looked him in the eye for close to one minute. One tense minute, before she turned and started walking away.

Natasha was about to let a relieved breath, when it happened.

"I'm so sor-"

The punch was so fast that Natasha would have admitted she was impressed even if that wasn't her daughter right there. As it were... she was hella impressed. And also very proud.

"I don't hate you. But please don't speak to me. Not now."

She turned around before anyone could say anything, walking from the room.

Silence ran for a bit longer, the echo of her steps fading away.

"Clint?" Antman asked.

He made a very pained noise.

"That hurt."

Natasha smiled. Well, she had a lot of Maria in her alright, but she also definitely had some of her in there as well.

Xxxx

As everyone was just standing there, looking at the glass platform, Natasha took one step forward. The chance to see Maria and Kaelan, if just for one second, was more than enough.

“I’ll do it.”

Before she could take one more though, a hand on her top pulled her back.

Nicky.

Natasha froze.

This had a huge probability of going ridiculously wrong. The chances of her not coming back were real. And she was just gonna go and leave Nicky behind?

What the hell was wrong with her.

None of the avengers said anything as she stared at her daughter’s eyes, worry clear there, a sort of desperation that Natasha hadn’t seen in years. She was the cause of that. She was the reason her daughter’s hand was gripping her shirt with fear. She didn’t even have to say anything; the silence and emotion on her face was more than enough.

Maria would not have made this mistake. Would not have so willingly offer herself up when Nicky still needed her.

It should have been her. It’d been a while since she actively thought that, but it was true, wasn’t it? Maria would have… Maria...

“I…”

“I’m game. I’ll do it.” Clint offered himself up, interrupting whatever stupid excuse she’d have come up with.

Natasha looked at him; he just nodded.

Taking one step back again, Nicky wrapped her arms tightly around her torso, and Natasha put her own arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

I’m sorry, she wanted to say. But no words came out.

As she watched Clint go up the steps, she held her breath.

Back. He was back.

She ran towards him, and this time Nicky didn’t stop her; she was right there with her.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. You okay?” she asked, wanting to ask so many other things, but holding herself back.

“Yeah. It worked, Nat. It worked.” he said, eyes meeting hers right on. A light shining fiercely there. A hope so strong, that Natasha’s heart started to beat faster.

Her daughter’s hand was gripping her arm tightly.

“It worked?”

“We’ll get them back, Nat.”

“All of them.”

“All of them.” The answer didn’t just come from Clint, but from everyone in the room. Natasha looked around. At her family, determinated faces, a united front with one goal. Saving the ones they loved. Saving the whole universe.

She smiled, tears in her eyes.

“Let’s do this.”

Xxxx

“You guys look very sad right now.”

From her uncomfortable position on top of the table she and Tony decided to have an impromptu nap on, Natasha raised her head to look at her daughter

“Well, thank you.”

“You’re as tactful as your mama.” Tony’s voice came from her side, but he didn’t move at all.

“And as smart.” Nicky said in a voice that brook no argument, making the three adults in the room move to look at her properly.

“Not that I doubt it, but what?” Tony asked.

“Well, genius.” the sarcasm in her voice was too much and Natasha had to cough not to laugh.

“Yeah, little Hill?”

“You didn’t realize that, if you pick the right year, there are three stones in New York, did you?”

Silence.

Wait… what?

“What?!” Tony jumped off of the table, along with Nat and Bruce.

“Shut the front door!”

Nicky rolled her eyes, a smirk on her lips.

“And you call yourselves superheroes.”

That little smirk, that light in her eyes, Nat could see, made the whole room relax.

That was her girl.

Xxxx

They were all there, up in the glass platform already. Except her.

Natasha was standing with Nicky. Her hand gripping hers so tightly, that Nat was sure she must be hurting, but she didn’t show. She knew what could happen… she sniffed to get rid of the tears gathering in her eyes.

“Momma?”

Closing her eyes quickly, Natasha opened them and turned to hug her daughter as tightly as she could.

“It’ll work out, baby.” She said, fiercely. “Mama will be back soon, with your brother, okay?”

“And you, momma. It has to be all of us. We’re a team, remember? You said so.”

Natasha squeezed her tighter.

Silence.

“Yeah. We’re a team.”

“You’re coming back.”

It was an affirmative, not a question, but Natasha would not know the answer even if it was.

She squeezed her tighter.

“Momma?”

“We’ll succeed, okay?” She said, pulling back to kiss Nick’s cheek, but refusing to meet her eye.

“Momma?”

“You stay here, we’ll be back before you know it.” She said, caressing her cheek and kissing her forehead before getting up.

Natasha turned her back, tears running down her cheeks now.

“I love you.”

She stopped at her place beside Clint and finally turned to meet Nicky’s teary eyes.

“I love you too, baby. It will work.”

She said loudly.

“It will work.” Her daughter repeated, and with a last tight smile, without moving her gaze, they were gone.

Xxxx

A soul for a soul. So this was how it was gonna end… It’s wasn’t too bad, exchanging her life for those she loved. She couldn’t leave Clint to die. As she looked at Clint, she tried to push the image of Nicky’s teary eyed face from her mind.

“I guess we do.”

“I’m starting to think we’re thinking of different people here, Natasha.”

A raised eyebrow from her side, a slight foot movement from his, and they were off. It was that day in Japan once more. running, punching, tripping, and somehow, they were both dangling off the damn cliff. Clint holding on to Natasha so she wouldn’t fall.

“Come on, Nat! This makes no sense!”

“How doesn’t it?!”

“All I’ve done, Nat! How can I face Laura and my children like this?!” he shouted.

“Don’t be a coward, Clint! They will love you regardless! Don’t run from your mistakes! You taught me that!” she said, and immediately regretted it.

Natasha closed her eyes, the hand gripping her arm tightening.

“Have I taught you that? Am I really the one running here, Nat?” His voice was quieter now, but it was ringing louder than a shout in her ears.

She shook her head. It should have been her; it would be her. Natasha had screwed up. She did everything wrong. Maria would do it right. Her daughter wouldn’t be alone. She had her uncles and aunts. She’d have Maria.

It should have been her.

“What if it doesn’t work, Nat? Nicky will need you!”

“If this doesn’t work, we’ll be as good as dead anyway!”

“No, we won’t! You told me not to leave her, you don’t get to go ahead and do it well, Nat!”

“I’ve been surviving, Clint. Not living. I can’t carry on without her, Clint. I can’t!” she cried out. “If this doesn’t work, if I can’t bring them back … I don’t know how I didn’t the first time! I’ll lose it, Clint!”

“No you won’t! Nicky knows you won’t, I know you won’t… You’re stronger than me, Nat. You’re stronger than all of us… You could have lifted that damn hammer if you’d tried!”

She shook her head at that, tears running freely on her face. Maria had told her that once. She still didn’t believe it.

“And what if we do it, Nat?! What if they come back? How do I look Maria in the eye, and tell her I let you jump to your death?!”

She closed her eyes. She couldn’t imagine Maria’s face in pain. No.

“How do I tell Laura?!”

“You have a daughter that’s ALIVE, Nat! ALIVE!” He screamed and Natasha’s heart clenched. “If our positions were reversed, would you let me jump?!”

“Bu-“

“No! Nicky needs you, Nat… Maria and Kaelan will need you too… They already lost their parents once, Nat…”

Natasha laughed out of despair. She couldn’t do it… It should have been her, but to cause this much pain to Nicky… to Maria, to Kaelan. She couldn’t. Damn Barton, for making her think.

“Fuck you, Barton…”

Nicky, I’m so sorry for what I almost did… Maria, Kaelan…

“If Laura kills me for this, I’m punching you in the afterlife!” Natasha screamed, hand tightening on his arm as she prepared to climb back.

Clint laughed, a teary and desperate sound.

“Yeah, you do that.”

Looking in his eyes again, Natasha put a foot on the hill, to get impulse.

“Come on, Nat.”

“Love you, brother.”

“I love you too, sis.”

Push.

Stone crumbled.

Loose hand.

Fall.

Natasha only realized what was happening because of the horror in Clint’s eyes. She didn’t hear his scream. Didn’t feel the wind on her back.

Nicky…

Kaelan…

Maria…

I’m sorry.

Xxxx

The sound of Nicky’s scream would forever stay with all of the Avengers, of that they were very much sure. The punches she threw on Clint’s chest were nothing, nothing compared to the hole he felt inside. They were nothing compared to the complete and utter destruction they saw in her eyes.

As they gathered around to snap the damn fingers, she wouldn’t leave Steve’s side. Glued to him as if he was the only thing keeping her up. And he probably was. Tears in everyone’s eyes.

Birds. Plants.

It worked.

And then it was a mess and they were fighting Thanos again.

“Where is Nicky!?” Clint shouted into his comms.

“She’s safe! Tony, get her away from here! To a quinjet to her house, go!” Steve screamed back.

“Laura will be there, tell her to go!” Clint shouted back.

“Will do!”

He was gonna save her. He had to.

As portals started appearing left and right, and a gigantic Hellicarrier showed up, Clint felt a huge wave of relief, but also an even bigger weight on his shoulders.

Maria.

Fuck.

Xxxx

As she observed the field beneath her, barking orders left and right, Maria zeroed in on the little group of superheroes at the front.

No redheads.

Well, her sight wasn’t that good. It was quite far away.

She ordered people to stand at the ready and prepare to engage, making sure all hands were at the proper stations, before tapping in her comms.

“Nat?”

She asked, trying to keep her voice from showing her longing to hear her wife.

Silence.

Her hand started to shake. She closed them into fists, crossing her arms.

“Steve! Clint! Where's Nat?”

They were silent, and Maria stopped all movement.

“Clint?”

Silence.

“BARTON! ROGERS!”

No answer.

“Stark? Thor? Bruce?”

No one answered her.

That in itself was all the answer she needed. The one answer she didn’t ever want to have.

“Maria... I-” Steve started, but she interrupted him.

“Don't." Her voice was numb. Devoid of any emotion. She kept looking ahead, at the war waging under her, but it meant nothing anymore.

Natasha... Nat was...

She closed her eyes, a ringing sounding in her ear so loud that it made everything else fade away.

She started to feel dizzy, a sense of out of body experience taking over her. Why shouldn't she leave? Why shouldn't she go and, hopefully, meet Natasha in whatever it was that came after this? What was the point in coming back if her wife, the one who has made sure she was happier than she'd ever been, was gone? What was the point?

There was none.

She felt her knees buckle. Her body and mind were screaming at her to just give up. Her heart was broken and bleeding and just begging to see Natasha again.

She let go.

But before she could actually fall, before she could reach the ground and just let it all just go away, two arms grabbed her around the waist.

She tried to fight it, eyes still closed but the ringing started to lower in volume. She suddenly became aware of far too many voices in her ear screaming her name, pleading for her to respond, to talk.

She didn't wanna talk.

"Maria."

Coulson. The arms around her, a voice not in her ear but by her side.

She gasped.

"Maria, Nicky and Kaelan are at home, waiting for you to go back after this.” His voice was fast and quiet, but starting to make sense. “The Avengers need you right now. The Universe needs you present. We need you to be strong just a little longer."

Her kids. They were both alive. She had to make sure they remained that way. But...Nat...

Nat...

She opened her eyes to look at her best friend, the tears that somehow gathered there making it harder to see. By how close they were, though, she could see his eyes were red, and his whole expression was that of pain.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

She tried again.

"Nat…" she said. Or tried to, she wasn't sure that the sounds she managed to produce could count as a word.

The voices in her ear went quiet.

"I know." Phil said, voice low. After a beat he continued "Nicky and Kaelan, Maria. They're waiting for you."

Maria closed her eyes and shook her head. She had seen out of the corner of her eyes everyone in the Hellicarrier looking at them. She must have been louder than she thought. She could feel their sympathy. She didn't want their sympathy. She wanted her wife.

"They are waiting for their mums. Together." Maria rasped out. Her voice hollower than ever before.

"You're not alone, Maria."

Everyone in their comms repeated the sentiment, Nick's voice resounding louder than everyone else’s.

"For Nicky and Kaelan, Hill."

She opened her eyes and looked around. Everyone was waiting for her. Waiting for her orders, for her to get herself together as a war waged on down on Earth.

'Come on, commander' she heard her wife's voice, saw her face. 'Kick them to hell and back'

She squared her shoulders and put her hands behind her back, taking one step away from Phil with a nod. Her body was still shaking, her heart still broken. But there'd be a time for this. A time to grieve. Now she had to make sure there'd be a tomorrow for her kids. Her friends. Her family.

"For Nicky and Kaelan. For... Natasha." she whispered, and Phil nodded at her.

She looked at the room at large. She took a deep, shaky, breath.

"To your stations, agents. Rain it down on them. Protect our people. Now!" she barked the orders, and everyone turned around, fire in their eyes. She let muscle memory take over her, let the years and years of command take control in this hour of need.

She'd break down later.

Xxxx

Steve looked at the stones, and looked at what he could have.

He could give them all back, go back to the 70s and stay there... he could just live the rest of his life with Peggy. But then, he stopped. He remembered. He remembered Maria's face as she saw Natasha walking down the aisle. He remembered Maria's kind smile when she put the lasagna on the table. He remembered Kaelan and Nicky running around the backyard, laughing and shouting and just being kids. All the Avengers together on that house, just being friends. Being a family.

He remembered Natasha's expression of pure and unaltered joy after so much pain and suffering. He remembered the joy of the two kids at having two mothers that loved them. The pain they went through when they lost their biological parents. He remembered all of it. He could see it as clearly as the mountain in front of him.

And he couldn't do that. He couldn't alter the future.

He knew what he had to do.

Xxxx

“A soul for a soul.”

Hollow eyes stared back at him.

The skeletal face nodded, ever so slightly

“A soul for a soul.”

Xxxx

#blackhill #black widown #natasha romanoff #maria hill #martasha #blackhill fanfic #marvel fanfic #Captain Marvel #the lost moments #endgame #avengers endgame

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rootbeergoddess · 5 years

Text

A Night at the Bar

A long overdue commission for @thekraziesreside featuring her OC Em and Dr. Drakken.

Em took out her compact mirror and looked at herself. She thought she looked cute; one of her friends who were more make-up savvy than she was had helped her with her look. She was wearing a simple yet elegant black cocktail dress and matching pumps. Still, she wasn’t 100 percent sure. Dating was not her thing. Yeah, she dated, but she would rather be at home working on her latest project.

“Well, I’m here,” She put her mirror away. “Guess I better try this mixer thing out.”

Em stepped into Dr. Brew’s Bar of Evil. The name was a bit much, or at least she thought so. It was mostly a place for henchmen and aspiring villains to hang out. There wasn’t anything really evil about their activities, though. Most people went to the bar just to relax. Or in the case of tonight, attend a singles mixer.

It was good that Em was going out; she had been in her lab all week. It wasn’t right for her. According to research, it was important for young women her age to socialize. Em did have friends, of course, but most of them didn’t understand her work, and they usually would instead go clubbing. Hell, going to a bar was rare for Em. She was only here because her friend Nicky suggested it. Both of them were single, and they were both free on Friday. Em had no good excuse, so she had agreed.

“Em, over here!”

Em felt reassured when she saw Nicky. They were polar opposites; Nicky was an artist while Em was a scientist. Nicky was wearing a bright, pink dress with lime green heels and yellow earrings. Of course, she was, and Em was happy about that. Em needed someone bright and bubbly like Nicky in her life. Nicky ran over to Em and gave her a hug.

“It’s been such a long time,” Nicky said.

“You saw me last week,” Em replied.

“Emmy, come on,” Nicky sighed. “Talking to you on the phone isn’t the same as interacting with you in real life. You know that, right?”

“True,” Em followed Nicky to a table. “But isn’t talking on the phone enough?”

“I can’t hug you over the phone,” Nicky continued. “And when I do call you, you always seem so distracted by your work. Speaking of which, did you finish that latest gadget? What was it?” “I can show you,” Em said, reaching into her purse.

“Let’s sit down first,” Nicky said, pushing Em into a seat. “I’ll order you a drink, what do you want?”

I’ll just take a water for now,” Em said, taking out a small box. “Now look.”

Nicky opened up the box. She made an ‘oh’ noise when she saw the golden bracelet lying in the box. Carefully, Em picked up the item and slipped it on Nicky’s wrist. Nicky smiled as she held it up, taking a look at it. Em leaned over, pressed a button on the side, and a dart flew out. It flew past a few patrons before sticking to the wall.

“Wow!” Nicky giggled. “So, the person who asked for this is making a store of jewelry that doubts as a weapon?”

“Basically,” Em said. “Not only does it have darts, but it also pepper spray and a mini taser.”

“Can I order one? I’d love one of these,” Nicky slipped it off her wrist. “Em, you really a genius.”

Em blushed a bit. She knew she was smart, but it was always so strange hearing it from her friends or others. She didn’t know why. The waiter brought their drinks, and to avoid saying something stupid, Em took a long sip of her water. Thankfully, Nicky continued the discussion.

“I still can’t get over how well the lock picking ring you made me works,” Nicky tapped the ruby ring on her finger. “Haven’t gotten caught once. Managed to snag a nice set of jewels this week too.”

“I saw that on the news,” Em said “You did a good job. You’re one of the best thieves in this town, probably the best.”

“Thank you, Emmy dear,” She said, looking towards the bar. “Oh, look!”

Em followed Nicky’s finger. That blue skin was hard to ignore. The one and only Dr. Draken was standing at the bar. Everyone in the villain community knew who he was. Opinions on him varied differently, but he was still respected. No one teased him about being beaten by a cheerleader; every villain in Middle had dealt with Kim. Em was somewhat surprised to see Draken at the club. She had never seen him here before. “I wonder if Shego is with him,” Nicky said. “I’m telling you Em; she looks killer in cocktail dresses.”

“Oh, not again,” Em sighed. “Nicky, you have to stop lusting after that woman.”

“When she gets less hot, maybe I’ll do it,” Nicky stuck her tongue out. “Oh, the event is starting soon.”

Internally, Em groaned. She was dreading this. Yes, she needed to get back into the dating scene, but she wasn’t sure about this. Nicky had assured her that these things were fun, and it was a great way to meet people. The problem was that Em wasn’t good at dealing with people. She could handle Nicky, but other people seemed to want more. They demanded a lot of her, wanting her to be conventionally attractive or play dumb; Em refused to do either.

“Okay, so we get to sit down for this,” Nicky said. “We have this little piece of paper, and it has the names of all the guys who come by to talk to us. We rate how we liked them, turn this in at the barn, and then they set us up with who they think our perfect match would be.”

“That sounds simple enough,” Em admitted.

Sadly, it wasn’t simple.

The first issue was all the men were so unbelievably boring. None of them wanted to talk about science or inventing, and they wanted to use bad pick-up lines. While Em found the bad pick up lines funny, Em still wished they were interested in talking about anything. If they did ask Em did and she revealed her talents, they all commented the same.

“I dig nerdy chicks.”

It took all of Em’s power not to throttle them. She was actually thankful that the men were more interested in Nicky. Nicky had done these things before, and she was good at shutting down rude remarks. Em was jealous, wishing she could do the same. She would deliver a simple ‘No,’ and that was enough to stop these men in their tracks. How did she do it?

“Alright, ladies,” Dr. Draken suddenly sat down in front of Em. “I’m here!”

“And I’m out,” Nicky rolled her eyes. “I’ll go see if Shego is around.”

“Wow, Dr. Draken,” Em was in awe. “I can’t believe it, I’ve always wanted to talk to you.”

“Who wouldn’t want to talk to me?” Dr. Draken grinned. “I am the great Dr. Draken, after all!”

“I’ve always wanted to talk to you about science and your inventions,” Em continued. “I remember that amazing buggy car you made.”

“Oh, really?” Draken looked surprised. “You---follow my work?”

“Yes! In fact, I’m an inventor myself,” Em reached into her purse.

She pulled out a lipstick tube. Draken looked unimpressed as Em took off the cap and then aimed it at a bar patron. She pressed a button, and a ball of putty flew out of the tube. It hit the man at the bar, wrapping around him. The man toppled out, shouting out in surprise.

“Amazing!” Draken exclaimed.

“Oh, really, it’s nothing,” Em blushed.

“Nothing? My dear, that invention of yours is brilliant!” Draken said. “I’ve never met someone who could challenge me intellectually, but you? You might come close! Tell me, what is your name?”

“It’s Em,”

“Well, Em, I want to know what else you have. You could possibly help me with my plans for world domination!”

Em could feel her face getting redder. She couldn’t believe that this was happening. Draken was someone she had always admired. Talking to him was something she had dreamed of. A long time ago, when he was just Drew, they had met in college. She had liked him enough, but when he became Draken, things changed. Getting to talk to him and have him praise her inventions was more than she could have hoped for. They spent the rest of the event talking, exchanging ideas, and plots for defeating Kim Possible. Em didn’t realize how much time had past until Nicky returned.

With Shego’s arm wrapped around her.

“Well, it looks like you two are getting on like a house on fire,” Nicky chuckled. “But the bar is closing up, so we should probably head out.”

“It is? Oh, how long have we been talking?” Em felt somewhat embarrassed.

“Who knows? Shego is going to walk me home,” Nicky said with a grin. “So, I’ll catch you later, Em.”

“Goodnight, Doc,” Shego waved to her boss. “If you need anything, ask someone else.”

“Bah, who needs her?” Drakken sniffed dismissively. “They can go do what girls do when they’re together. What do girls do when they’re together? Braid each other’s hair?”

Em was 100% percent sure no hair braiding would be going on, but she decided not to tell Drakken that.

“We’re people of science! We have minds that many people can’t fathom! We scare people,” Drakken continued. “So, why don’t you show me more of your inventions? Maybe we could work on something! I even have a new idea. Pigs with laser guns!”

“Um---how would they hold the lasers?”

Drakken paused and then frowned.

“Nuts,” He grumbled. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Well, they wouldn’t have to hold the guns per se,” Em said. “Maybe you could have a headband, and the lasers are automatic?”

“That’s brilliant? See?” Drakken leaned closer. “You and me? We’re genius together! Think of all the things we could do.”

Em didn’t really care about taking over the world. She didn’t want to rule, that was too much work. She was fine with working with Dr. Drakken, though. While somewhat overzealous, he was a smart man. It was also refreshing to find someone who didn’t expect her to be stupid and didn’t mind that she had a brain.

“What other ideas do you have?” Em inquired. Drakken beamed like a kid in a candy store. Em glanced at her phone. It was a text from Nicki. She smiled as she read it.

Hey babe! U alright? Dr. D better b treating you, right! Shego and I had a LOT of fun if you know what I mean. ;)

Em chuckled as she replied.

I’m fine. Dr. D and I have been up all night planning.

For hours, after leaving the bar, Em and Dr. Drakken had schemed. Dr. Drakken had taken Em to his lab, and since Shego was out, the two of them have plenty of time to themselves. All night they drew up schematics, made models, and planned for the future. Em didn’t realize how early it was until the sun had risen. She felt tired, yet awake at the same time. She could have kept going if it wasn’t for the hunger in her stomach.

Her phone pinged again.

Look @ u! I told u that mixer would be fun and I was right

Em smiled.

I’m glad I went. We’re going to have breakfast right now.

She was shocked to learn that Dr. Drakken could make pancakes. Usually, Shego did the cooking, but he could make a mean flapjack. As Em texted Nicky, she stood up and headed into the kitchen. The smell of chocolate greeted her nose. She smiled at Dr. Drakken placed his last pancake onto a plate.

“We can’t scheme on an empty stomach,” Dr. Drakken said. “Orange juice or lemonade?”

“Orange juice please,” Em said as she sat down.

“This is so much better than making breakfast for Shego,” Dr. Drakken poured a glass of orange juice for Em. “Just wait until she sees all the work we’ve done!”

Em decided not to mention that Shego and Nicky probably had their own fun. “I think I’ll use the pigs the next time Kim Possible comes and tries to foil my schemes,” Dr. Drakken handed the glass to Em. “Oh, I can’t wait to see her face!”

“Shouldn’t you plan your next idea for world domination?” Em suggested.

“Once again, you’re right!” Drakken took a bite of his pancakes. “So, got any ideas?”

Em was shocked. Dr. Drakken wanted an idea from her? She felt flattered. Not many people asked for her ideas. It had been a long time since someone wanted her input too. She sipped her juice, thinking. Did she have any ideas she could offer? What was something that hadn’t been done?

“Well, first, you’d probably want to make sure you could get rid of Kim,” Em began. “Like we could use teacup pigs. They’re cute, and girls like cute things.”

“Do they? I don’t know much about ladies,” Drakken blushed suddenly. “Don’t let Shego know I said that.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Em said. “Believe it or not, I’m not that great with guys. I only went to the bar last night because Nicky pushed me to go. Nicky is always trying to get me to go out and do more things.”

Em was surprised she was telling Drakken this. It seemed easy to talk to him. That would probably shock people seeing as how Dr. Drakken had a reputation for being a bit of a jerk. Yet despite what she knew about him, she was enjoying her time with him. Maybe it was because they both enjoyed science and knew what they were talking about. Either way, for the first time in a long time, Em was happy. It was nice to talk to someone else besides Nicky.

“Bah, no wonder Shego likes her so much,” Drakken said. “She’s always going on about how I need to go outside or saying how I need to get some sunlight because it’s what normal people do.”

Em chuckled. No wonder they were getting along so well; they were really similar.

“Anyways, enough about that,” Drakken took another bite of his pancakes. “Let’s finish up these pancakes, and then it’s back to the lab!”

Em finished up her pancakes. Once she was done, Drakken took them to the sink, and then they headed back to the lab. Em was happy to spend the rest of the day in the lab, coming up with plans and planning for world domination. This was one of the few times she was happy that Nicky had dragged her out of the house. She was going to have to thank her later. But for now, she would focus on finalizing the details on the laser pigs.

#Rooty Writes #Kim Possible #Shego #Dr. Drakken

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grxywxrn · 5 years

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Alive part 1

Neil Abram Josten was dead. He had never lived, but he was still dead and gone and absent and dead.

Dead, dead, dead.

It was a familiar word, playing like a broken record in Andrew’s head. A broken, dead record in a broken, dead mind.

Andrew imagined his mind like a smashed mirror, fragile and blood stained, unable to give a clear image to those who gazed upon it. This was all because Neil Josten had been fine.

Andrew hates many things, the words family and please, bitter tastes, people, but on that night a whole bunch of things were added to the list. The number zero made Andrew violent, thank you was torture to hear and Exy made him homicidal.

He still played it though, so Kevin wouldn’t die either. He didn’t care if Kevin died, he didn’t care if he himself died. Andrew didn’t care at all. The one thing that had made him feel disappeared like a tea light candle flickering out in the wind.

“Andrew?” Came a cheerful voice. Andrew looked up from his phone to see Nicky Hemmick, his all to happy cousin, smiling at him. “What are you doing in Germany? Especially unannounced?”

Andrew didn’t answer, he saw no reason to.

Nicky, after years of experience, let it slide. Six years ago, he may have pressed on, but Nicky eventually took the hint four years ago that Andrew was now a whole new type of broken.

Nicky played it off like Andrew had replied. “Well, it’s crazy to see you again. Erik and I were just grabbing stuff for dinner. His parents are looking after the girls for the day.”

Andrew has never met his nieces, Nicky and him had silently agreed that it would never happen. As soon as one of them started crying, Andrew would have done something that Nicky would regret.

“Hey, you should join us!” Nicky exclaimed. Andrew started walking away, trying to find his favourite ice cream in the frozen section of the supermarket. “Okay, sorry, bad idea, you’re right.” Nicky was still following him.

“How’s Aaron?” Nicky attempted to make conversation. “Is he getting used to the married life?”

In truth, Andrew didn’t know how his twin was, like everyone, Andrew didn’t care enough to care. Andrew grunted and that made Nicky ecstatic.

“And Kevin?” Nicky asked through the frosted glass door that was opened right in front of his face. Andrew got his ice cream and walked away again. “Fine, I’m guessing, with the recent win.”

Andrew skipped checkout 0 even though it was the shortest line up and headed to number 6 which was significantly longer.

“What about you, are you doing okay after Neil’s-“

Andrew whipped around, his fingers crushing the windpipe in Nicky’s throat.

“You have no right to say his name, Nicolas.” Andrew growled out Nicky’s full name because he knew it reminded him of his parents, or mainly his lack of them.

“Andrew, it would be nice of you to put down my husband.” Andrew cast his eyes lazily over the the man speaking German at him. Erik looked like he was playing it cool, but his fist was tight around the handles of his shopping basket.

Andrew basically threw his cousin at Erik, telling him to drag Nicky away with the most venomous glare ever. As Andrew paid, he heard Nicky saying things like, “It’s my fault, I over stepped my boundaries again.”

Andrew carried on with his plan for the day; get his cash changed from American to German because his was running low on cash, buy a new charger for his phone, went to the key smiths and went to get a haircut.

That’s where is all went wrong. A haircut was usually a bad experience, for both the barber and himself, but this was worse.

His hair was bright purple, messy and curly, his eyes were icy blue and his smile was so wide.

Neil Josten, age nineteen and Exy prodigy goes missing after game

After two years, Neil Josten is presumed Dead by authorities

Hunt for Neil Josten closed, body found in building foundation by demolition team in England

But Neil didn’t look dead at all, in fact, he look more alive than he ever had. There were no bags under his eyes and his complexion was tanned. He had a burn scar on one cheek and three lines down the other.

Andrew blinked, but Neil was still there. He held his eyes shut, rubbing them like Neil would disappear again.

Alive, alive, alive. So damn alive.

“Nathaniel!” Someone scolded of him and Neil turned away from the voice, holding in his laughter as his co-worker pulled funny faces.

Neil noticed Andrew, smiling at him. Neil came out from behind the front desk, ripped jeans paired with a red over-sized hoodie.

“Guten Tag!“ Neil greeted him in German. “Wie geht es dir?“

Andrew knew what Neil had asked him, he knew how to answer, but he just stared.

“Herr?” Neil reached for Andrew but let his hand hover. “Wie geht es dir, Herr?”

“Nicht so gut, Neil.” Andrew stood back, world tilting as he moved.

“Maybe you should sit down.” Neil guided Andrew towards a chair, in the mirror Andrew was ghost white, chalky skinned and eyes wide. “Can I get you something to drink...”

it was too late when Andrew realised he was waiting for a name.

“How are you alive?” Andrew asked in English and Neil looked taken aback.

“I don’t know- Sir are you high or drunk or-“ Neil was taking a few steps back.

“Neil, Neil Josten.” Andrew said, he didn’t know why. He hadn’t said that name in six years, Andrew had almost forgot what it sounded like on his own tongue.

“Alright, would you like me to help you find him?” Neil pulled at his hair.

No, he’s dead. You’re dead. Andrew wanted to grab this Neil by the shoulders, shake him until the nightmare subsided and he woke up in an empty and cold bed.

Andrew shook his head.

“Okay. Okay. Just breathe and I’ll be back in a moment.” Neil returned with a biscuit and a mug of coffee. Andrew didn’t touch the coffee because it looked to bitter but he ate the biscuit. “What is you name?”

Andrew choked.

“Andrew Minyard.” Neil smiled like he knew something Andrew didn’t. Maybe he did. “Can I get a trim and highlights.”

Neil let his face fall slack for a moment before nodding.

When Andrew got home, he could almost see the red marks on his skin from where Neil had touched him.

When Andrew went back to the shops the next week, Neil’s hair was black until his eyes and then snow white.

Andrew observed from a coffee booth, spying from over his mug. Neil was good at doing hair, and he liked to catch with his costumers.

Andrews phone hummed in his hand. Renee was the only person who called him.

It was a simple ‘are you treating yourself good?’ Like every question was around this time of year.

‘Come home soon, Andrew. I don’t want you to be alone.” Renee said, stopping mid-sentence with the sound of sizzling bacon in the background.

“Why?”

“You know why.” Renee didn’t beat around the bush with this. “Andrew, Neil’s-“ Andrew flinched “-anniversary makes you dangerous, not only to yourself but to others.”

“Shut up.”

“I want you to be happy.” Renee pleaded.

“Well I can’t be!” Then he hung up the phone.

The booth lowered beneath Andrew as someone took a seat next to him.

“Is everything okay?” Neil sipped his coffee gently like it would be too hot.

“Give me your phone.” Neil gave it over. Andrew tuned on Sir and said into it, “Neil Josten disappearance.”

Hundreds of articles came up at that search, Andrew found one without a photo of Neil.

“You follow Exy?” Andrew asked.

“Ugh,” Neil growled, “I hate that sport! It’s so stupid.” Andrew couldn’t help but scoff. Neil Josten saying Exy was stupid was just to ironic.

“Well, I play for New York with Kevin Day. Used to play for PSU in collage, for the Foxes.”

“I’ve heard of them, a friend follows it like a religion.” He seemed to loath Exy more than Andrew. “He’s obsessed with Day, and that dwarf bodyguard of his.” Andrew gripped the knife beside his coffee on the table. “Oh, wait. That’s you isn’t it?”

Andrew grunted, Neil laughter brightly. Neil snagged his phone back and read the article that Andrew had found.

“Hey, he went missing seven years ago today! Did you used to play with him?”

“In more ways than one, yeah.” Neil snorted, then laughed loudly. Andrew’s chest aches like hot coals replaced his lungs.

Alive, alive, alive.

“I hated him. Oh, I hated him so much.” Andrew hated that just voice shook on the word hate. He knew that word had a different meaning when it was directed at Neil. Andrew’s fist shook, he wanted to punch something. “I never knew why he was killed, Kevin wouldn’t tell me. But sometimes it feels like he’s still alive.”

It was weird. Andrew was talking to someone, and not just anyone about anything. He was talking to Neil about his own death that he couldn’t seem to remember.

Dead, dead, dead.

Alive, alive, alive.

“Well is that why you’re here? Was he buried here?”

“No, parts of his dismembered body were found in building foundations over in England. He wasn’t buried. I don’t actually know what happened to him.” Neil flinched, smile gone.

“If you want to talk-“

“I have already said to much.” Andrew started to leave but a hand gently wrapped around his wrist.

“Come around to the shop around three, it’s when I get off for the day. We can grab a coffee or something.” Neil smiled and let Andrew go. Andrew’s skin was on fire. “Oh, and my names Nathaniel Wesninski.”

Andrew’s hotel was big. He earned a lot of money playing Exy so he spent it all on stupid things. This hotel had a ball pit. It was three stories and the pinball machine room was where he spent most of his time. Alone.

Andrew walked down the hall on the top floor, passing Kevin in the gym. Andrew wasn’t going leave Kevin in America by himself so he dragged him to Germany with him. They hadn’t talked the whole week they had been in the the country and Andrew liked it that way.

He had a beer in one hand and ice cream in the other. When Kevin saw his unhealthy idea of lunch, he rolled his eyes.

“You can’t actually eat that for lunch.” Kevin commented.

“I can and I will, now shut up.” Andrew was about to walk into the games room.

“I invited Nicky over.” Kevin told him. “He told me about what you did. You’re lucky no press saw you.”

“Don’t care.” Andrew really didn’t. “I’m going out later anyways, so it will just be you two.”

“Where are you going?” Kevin got off the treadmill, bringing his shirt up to whipe the sweat off his face. “Not to do anything dumb or illegal?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out in the car.” Andrew replied. He wasn’t going to tell Kevin about Neil being alive. If Kevin knew he’d tell Neil everything and try to get him back into Exy.

“Andrew,” Kevin sighed, “look, I know you don’t care or feel anything about anything, but don’t do anything to ruin your life. Neil wouldn’t want-“

“Neil is dead, Kevin!” Andrew threw his beer bottle at Kevin’s head, missing by a millimetre. But Neil wasn’t dead. “He’s been dead for years and he can’t want anything!”

“Andrew, it’s okay to feel pain.” Kevin told him. He stepped forward, hands raised like he was approaching a deadly animal. “We all lost N-him that day, but you deserve to feel sad or grief because you lost someone you love!”

Andrew slammed the door shut behind him. He threw his bowl of ice cream then smashed the glass on one of the pinball tables. Then it was time to leave.

When he got to the barbershop, Neil was putting foils into a mans hair. He was smiling and saying something about loving the shade of red the man choose to dye his hair.

Andrew pushes past a girl asking if he wanted to make an appointment and walked to the back of the shop where Neil was. His hair was now green at the ends and not white.

“Andrew!” Neil exclaimed when he noticed the tiny blond approaching him. “Have a seat, I’ll get you a drink. Extra sugar.”

Andrew sit next to the man who watched him in awe.

“Can I help you?” Andrew arched an eyebrow.

“Oh, it’s just,” the man beamed up at Andrew, “you’re Andrew Minyard!”

Neil had returned with a grin, placing the sugary milk down in front of Andrew.

“No, I am his twin.” Andrew said. The man just laughed, clearly not aware that there was two Minyards. “Aaron.”

“I knew an Aaron.” Neil began, eyebrows furrowing. “Have no idea where from or how, though. Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure he had a twin brother.” Neil laughed. Andrew wanted to bottle that sound.

“Small world.” Andrew muttered. His phone rang so he fished it out of his back pocket. “What do you want, Day?” He grunted into the phone and the man squealed. Andrew realised that this was the freind Neil had been talking about earlier.

Kevin slurred something into the speaker and Nicky screamed in the background somewhere. They were drunk as frat boys at three o’clock in the afternoon.

“You know, Drew,” Kevin slurred, “the way you spoke to me earlier was...was mean!” Andrew didn’t care. “I was just trying to help. Neil was...was my...friend tooooooo!”

Nicky started crying in the background, saying something like, “sweet Neil!”

“Kevin. You are drunk. Leave me alone and drink water and try not to fall off the balcony.” Then Andrew hung up the phone, heart aching. Why did it feel like Neil was everywhere, every time Andrew turned around he saw him. Some days he wished he had never met Neil at all.

Neil brought him back to reality when he leant over the back of the chair Andrew was sitting in to whisper, “I put some scotch in the coffee.” Then he went back to putting foils in his friends originally blond hair. Andrew drunk the coffee in one breathe and Neil giggled.

“I’m not supposed to give that to costumers but your tecically not buying anything.” Neil shrugged. It didn’t taste to good, it was just sweet milk and scotch but it was greatly appreciated.

In the time Andrew was sat in the shop he had four more of those drinks, learnt that the friend was called Nico and sighed a piece of paper for Nico to get tattooed.

Nico payed, spent ten minutes talking to Neil about Laura’s birthday present with a smirk and the kissed Neil goodbye.

Andrew almost took the scissors off the bench to stab Nico with.

Neil laughed, though, rubbing his cheek with a fake disgusted face.

“Sorry about him,” Neil turned to Andrew. “Nico’s a bit...special is the word I’d use. We are just friends though, he’s got a girl, Laura.” He pronounced Laura as Low-ra when he talked. “Still insists on kissing me goodbye every time though, say just because I’m ace doesn’t mean I don’t deserve some love.”

Neil shook his head, hair floating like a merman’s underwater. He was smiling quietly as they both fell into step beside each other, walking to seemingly no where.

“You’re ace?” Andrew asked after a moment of silently contemplating it. When Neil had first come to the Foxes he had said the same thing, I don’t swing, and all that. Kevin later said he was probably demi and hadn’t had a chance to figure out what he wanted.

“Yeah, is there a problem, Andrew?” Neil didn’t ask out of irritation, but genuine concern.

“No, the guy I used to date was demi.” Andrew made a point about say ‘guy’. Neil nodded. They didn’t look at each other, but they walked until they reached a coffee shop. Tooth Café.

They were about to sit down when Andrew spotted a camera pointed his way. Damn the press.

“Put your head down and walk to the nearest exit.” Andrew murmured. Neil didn’t ask why, he did what he was asked. Andrew put a hand on Neil’s back, fingers gripping the printed button up that Neil wore as he guided him away from the press.

The press chased after them, just behind them now and asking questions. Andrew suddenly pulled Neil around a corner. He grabbed the back of Neil’s neck to face him.

“Black car, number plate 157 RRT, floor two, seconction G. Run.” And Neil was off, running with the speed of the striker Andrew had once known.

The press had caught him, sticking a mic in his face.

“Andrew, Andrew. Who was that man?”

“You don’t need to know.” Andrew walked the opposite way to where Neil had ran.

“A lover?”

“Does Day know you’re here?”

“Who was the man?”

“Andrew, any comment on the rumours regarding your sexuality?”

“Since you played for the Foxes, how do you feel about Neil Josten’s death?”

“Who’s death?” Andrew retorted. The reporter gasped.

“Your old teammate-“ said someone at the same time somebody said “your late lover!”

“How would Neil feel knowing that you are moving on?” A reporter said next to his left ear. Andrew lashed out, punching the man in the throat.

The press launched back, some ran away. On lookers gapped as Andrew walked away.

Andrew found Neil sitting on the hood of his black Mercedes, scrolling through his phone.

They got in before anyone could see them together.

“Someone posted a video.” Neil whispered.

“Kevin’s gonna scold me.” Andrew pulled out of the car park and on to the open road.

“The reporter deserved that though, for what he said.” Neil was testing the waters of this conversation, now that he knew how angry Andrew could get. “He had no right.”

Andrew was silent.

“I watched one of your games, well two actually.” Neil started a new conversation. “Neil’s last game and yours, Andrew.”

Neil’s last game.

Thank you, you were amazing

He had ran around that stadium so many times, he didn’t find anything except the bag.

Andrew swiveled the car back onto the road when he started to go into the next lane. Someone cussed at him from a different car.

“Andrew, the way you shut down the goal is incredible. Maybe you could teach me a bit before you left?” With that, Andrew changed direction towards his hotel. When he arrived, he told Neil to stay while he ran upstairs.

Upstairs in one of the living rooms, Kevin was passed out drunk while Nicky was certainly on the way. Andrew grabbed two sets of gear that Kevin had made him bring with them and stuffed it in a bag. He raced down to the car with a pint of ice cream and two spoons.

“Every time I do anything remotely Exy-ish, i eat a whole one of these. Kevin hates it.”

Andrew had to wait for Neil to figure out how to put on the gear, because it wasn’t like Andrew was going to help Neil dress.

Neil looked like Neil in his armour. A green haired Neil.

“Alright, just try and take a shot in on me.” Andrew said. When Neil took the shot, the ball fell a few feet in front of Andrew.

Andrew got the ball in his racket and threw it down the court to where Neil would have been waiting for him seven years ago.

This present day Neil gapped in shock.

“Woah!” He exclaimed. “You are amazing!”

“You’re not allowed to say that.” Andrew glared Neil down.

They tried again and this time Andrew caught it. Then they tried again and Andrew reached for it. The next time Andrew was too distracted by the muscles moving in Neil’s thighs to block his shot.

“OMG!” Neil cheered. “I won!” He struggled to take off his helmet. “I got a goal in on Andrew Minyard because he was checking me out!”

“Was not.” Andrew argued but it was ignored by Neil screaming into a phone.

“Nico!” He started telling him all about what just happened. When Nico didn’t believe him, Neil switched the FaceTime camera to Andrew. “Told you!”

Andrew let them talk and eventually Neil calmed down. Andrew just watched him talk into the camera from goal.

He missed Neil.

He hated Neil.

Andrew launched a ball down caught, it seemed to pass Neil on flames. That ball carried only a small part of his anger. So he threw another and another. Neil ducked away, ending the call.

Andrew threw the whole bag of balls across court, still seething. When he was done, Andrew was shaking. Neil looked up at him from the floor to which he dove to when balls seemed to be aiming themselves at his head.

“Andrew-“

“Shut up!” He slammed his racket into the wall, snapping it in half. “God, just shut up! Stop looking at me and shut up!”

“Andrew- look at me-“ Andrew couldn’t. He couldn’t look at Neil without breaking. He had gone seven years without breaking, it couldn’t be now. “Shout at me. Tell me everything you want to tell him.”

Andrew grabbed him by the hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me anything? You knew they were coming for you, why didn’t you let me protect you?” Andrew screamed at Neil who look just about ready to cry. “You knew they were coming for you and you still played, you still made me feel something about you! You knew it wasn’t nothing so why did you let me fall knowing you were going die?”

“Andrew,” Neil gasped.

“What!”

“I don’t think I am ace after all.”

Pink. Baby pink.

Renee was going to be so happy.

Andrew wasn’t sure how Neil had managed to get Andrew’s hair that shade of pink, but the media loved it. The first time they had seen it was when Andrew was leaving the New York airport with Kevin Day at his side.

@TheJeanKnoxMor

@AJminyard not bad, Jeremy did call you a baby though

@offcialJeremyKnoxM

@AJminyard @TheJeanKnoxMor did not! Please don’t kill me, Andrew!

That was the most liked response. Some fans speculated why he would have dyed his hair such an unAndrew colour.

One fan said something along the lines of mental breakdown and Andrew wasn’t sure that was wrong.

Renee had liked it, she had called him cute. Aaron said it made him look gay, Andrew had kissed Kevin in reply. Thea had laughed at that.

Nicky kept texting him, even after there was no reply.

One morning Andrew woke alone, like every morning or sometimes afternoons.

The first notefication was; @NathanielWes04 is following you

Neil had sent him a dm over Instagram.

Heyyyy, Andrew! I looked up what time it is over in NY and I am sorry if this wakes you up!

Andrew almost smiled. Almost. Andrew called him, too tied to type a text. Neil picked up after the fourth ring.

“Drew,” he mumbled gently. Andrew had woke him, but he didn’t care. Because Neil wasn’t around, Andrew allowed himself to feel something.

“Hello.” Andrew said back. It was all silence.

“Why don’t you ever say my name, Andrew?” Neil slurred sleepy at Andrew.

Because it hurts.

“Your name is stupid.” Neil laughed at that.

“I share it with my dad.” Neil smile was evident in his voice. “Or at least I think I do. I don’t remember.”

“Don’t remember?” Andrew prodded.

“I was found in a dich somewhere between Cornwall and London, I think that where it was. Anyways, around five years ago a jogger found me minutes from death. I don’t remember anything from my birth to a week after I was found.”

Minutes from death? They had tried to kill him, but stupid Neil Josten survived. Of course he did.

“What colour is your hair?” Andrew asked when his chest felt too tight.

“Ash.”

They were silently listening to each other breathe and Andrew was reminded how alive Neil was.

Andrew imagined Neil lying in his bed in Berlin, on the left side of the mattress like he always used to. He saw his messy ash hair splaid out on the pillow and eyes hooded with sleep.

“Come to America.” Andrew shocked himself when he said. “New York, I’ll pay airfares.” Neil didn’t say anything, softly breathing instead. Actually, he was asleep again. “I hate you, Neil Josten.”

“I know.” He mumbled in his sleep. Andrew hung up and threw his phone at the wall. It shatter but Andrew didn’t care.

This meant some part of Neil knew who he was, right?

Andrew thought about kissing Neil again, it made his muscles ache so he blocked out the thought and got ready for breakfast with Renee.

“Andrew, that is amazing! Oh, my goodness, when does he come back to the US?” Renee was taking the news perfectly, at least in her mind.

“Never.” Andrew Said when he finished his bite of pancake. “Neil doesn’t know who he is and I intend on keeping it that way.”

“Why?”

“Because, it’s not Neil.” Andrew complained. “He’s a hairdresser with a new colour every week, let’s his friends kiss him goodbye and wears cropped shirts and short-shorts to the gym.”

Renee laughed softly like she always does.

Andrew wasn’t complaining about the later. Following Neil on Instagram was torture when he was trying to forget his lust. Andrew let his mind see a photo of Neil squatting with one leg stuck out, then pushed it away when Renee’s mouth started moving again.

“Andrew, this could be your chance for a happy life, take what you deserve.” Renee sipped her tea. Her hair was in need of a touch up at the roots. “Besides, he’s going the find out eventually.”

“Whatever.” Andrew finished his pancakes and coffee in silence. Renne didnt say anything for the rest of breakfast and Andrew almost thanked her.

Kevin was texting him, asking where he was because he was late for practice. They had come back to America a few weeks ago and Kevin basically slept at the court. In the month they had been in Berlin they hadn’t practiced together and that made Kevin even more enthusiastic.

Renee said goodbye to him out the front of the coffee shop and they went their separate ways.

Andrew headed to the court, hating every second of it. When he got there, Jean and Jeremy with talking with Kevin in the middle of the court.

“You didn’t say the newlyweds were going to be here.” Andrew said over the loud speaker. Kevin jumped a bit, but found Andrew scowling at him from the commentators box. “And Kevin, Jeremy is married now so back off.”

Andrew caught Jeremy snicker but Jean didn’t look to pleased. Kevin flipped Andrew off with an embarrassed look towards the couple.

Andrew loved to make fun of Kevin celebrity crush on Jeremy.

Andrew came down to the court, the only one not dressed in armour and he intended to keep it that way.

“We are going to be training with Jean and Jeremy.” Kevin told Andrew. “They were in town for the weekend so-“

“You thought, ‘let’s practice instead of hanging out like normal people!’” Andrew quirked a brow up at Kevin. He didn’t reply so Andrew started to leave.

“Andrew, wait.” Jeremy called after him. “We need someone to guard the goal.”

“Cool, call Sean.” Andrew replied. Sean was the other goalie on the team. He wasn’t as good as Andrew and couldn’t shut down the goal as good as Andrew, but he was alright.

“Andrew, it would be greatly appreciate if you would help us.” Jean asked. “I mean what else were you going to do?”

“Get drunk.” Andrew replied.

“It’s nine in the morning!” Kevin exclaimed.

“You’re right.” Andrew said. “I’ll hit someone up to drink with, never drink alone.”

Part two

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sowk-fic-archive · 7 years

Text

SOWK ch.33/35

Summary:

Now Matthew has a story to tell...

Chapter 33 : historiette

Matthew was worryingly quiet as the afternoon dragged on. He sat, thoughtful and silent, as the world moved around him. Annie wandered throughout the house, carrying piles of dirty washing that had been loaded into wicker baskets. The kitchen table was becoming an uncomfortable spot to sit; after a quick sandwich for lunch (which Matthew resolutely ignored), Dominic suggested that they move to the sofa. Matthew didn’t reply. He stared at his skinny, long-fingered hands as if they held the answers he was looking for. Sighing, Dominic pressed a kiss to Matthew’s cheek and stood up, walking over to the sofa and settling himself comfortably. Only moments later, Matthew scurried across the room and squirmed into Dominic’s embrace, his feet tucked up onto the cushions and his head resting on Dominic’s shoulder. “Are you alright?” Dominic asked as he wrapped an arm around Matthew’s waist and pulled him closer. “You’re awfully quiet.” “I’m just thinking,” Matthew replied softly, his voice barely more than a whisper. “About you, and what happened to... what happened to Jane.” He looked up at Dominic then, blue eyes wide and shining with fear. “I don’t want that to happen to you, Dom. I...” he swallowed thickly. “I don’t think I could live with myself if they hurt you like they hurt her, and...” Matthew shook his head. “If they took you away from me...” “That’s not going to happen,” Dominic said firmly. “You heard what Lysander said. We’ve got the envelope of mystery to protect us.” He nudged Matthew playfully with his elbow. “Crack a smile. Go on, I dare you.” Matthew’s lips twitched slightly. “Stop it. It’s not funny, Dom. I’m scared.” “Me too,” Dominic sighed. “But honestly, Matthew, we’re going to be okay. I promise.” “How can you promise me that when we’re both in grave danger? When your family is at risk of being tortured for information? When... when my mother is back at home with him? How can you lie to me like that?” Matthew’s eyes filled with tears again. “I’m not lying to you,” Dominic persisted. “I’m promising you that me and you are going to make it through this somehow, because I know we are.” Matthew sighed. The reproachful look in his eye told Dominic that he still wasn’t convinced, but he nevertheless leaned up and pressed his lips to the glouglou’s. “I love you,” he said softly. “I lo--” “Get a room, why don’t you?” Nancy’s voice floated across the room to them. Dominic scowled, looking over his shoulder to see her poised in the doorway, glaring at them both. “You’re like a pair of rabbits.” “Nancy, you fuck, we were having a moment!” “What is this, a theatre production? Jesus, it’s embarrassing. You’re more of a girl than I am,” Nancy snapped, stalking across towards them and sitting down in the threadbare armchair. “Yeah, because when you and Ben made up, you weren’t like this at all,” Dominic mumbled with a roll of his eyes. “I love you, Ben! Never let me go!” he said in a warbling falsetto. “Oh, Nancy, I love you too! Let us ride into the sunset on our chariot of love!” he continued in a deep, gruff voice. Matthew sniggered quietly. “Don’t know what you’re laughing at,” Nancy commented with a nod to the Voix. “News is that Adora’s got a five page interview in Le Monde tomorrow.” The smile dropped from Matthew’s face in the blink of an eye. His skin was blanched a sickly white, and he only had to look at Dominic for the glouglou to understand. “She will have guessed. She’ll want revenge, Dom. She might adore me, yes, but when Adora gets angry she’ll stop at nothing.” “Serves you right for--” “Nancy!” Annie shrieked from upstairs, Matthew jumping in his skin; the twins, however, were used to it. “Get up here right now!” Nancy bolted towards the stairs faster than she ever had. After a few seconds, Matthew and Dominic could hear muffled shouting that soon subsided into murmurs. The Voix wrapped his arms around Dominic, pulling him close. “I love you too,” Dominic said eventually, resting his head on Matthew’s shoulder. A sick feeling still resided in his stomach, but he tried his best to ignore it. They were both consciously aware of the envelope on the table, and they were wondering just how soon they’d have to open it. After a few moments, Nancy came bounding down the stairs again, a packed holdall in the crook of her arm. She threw it down near the front door, running over to Dominic and tackling him into a hug, Matthew only just dodging out of the way in time. “Nicky, I’m sorry,” she whispered, squeezing him tight enough that he started coughing. “I’m so sorry, Nicky. I love you so much, I didn’t mean to be so cruel, I--” Realising she was babbling, Nancy let Dominic sit up on the sofa again, sitting down next to him. Matthew kept a distance between himself and the twin. “Mum says I should go. I’m going to stay around Ben’s for a while. I might... I might visit tomorrow... if... if it’s safe.” Nancy’s voice cracked on the final word, Dominic rubbing her back as they hugged. She stood up, casting an eye over Matthew. “And you... you’re the cause of all this,” she sneered. “Nancy!” Annie shouted from upstairs once more. “Don’t make me--” “Fine, fine!” Nancy yelled back, stomping over to the door. “I’m going,” she said, turning back towards the terrified men on the sofa. “But you have to accept some responsibility for your actions. Both of you. I told you this would end in tears.” Nancy stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Matthew looked at Dominic, silently asking for an explanation. “I... I don’t know,” Dominic whispered, suddenly feeling incredibly hollow. Wordlessly, Matthew closed the gap between them and pressed a kiss against the blond’s cheek, wrapping his arms around his waist. The sky clouded over outside and Annie turned on a few of the lamps around the house. Matthew and Dominic didn’t talk much, if they did at all. Musings over the contents of the envelope, a few declarations of love, small talk about Ben and Nancy. They didn’t dare broach the subject of the next day’s paper. “You’re so quiet,” Dominic said. His voice was so gentle that Matthew almost failed to hear it. “I...” he frowned, pressing his lips to Matthew’s head, burying his nose deep in his black hair. “I can feel your sadness,” he mumbled, testing the words in his mouth. “I can feel how heavy it is, in my heart.” “When I was small,” Matthew began, jolted into his words by Dominic’s declaration, “maybe five or six, my mother used to tell me a story before bed. It was my favourite story because it made me so sad.” A smile tilted his lips at the corners. “It sounds strange, but it’s true.” “What was it about?” Matthew paused for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was trembling. “Once upon a time there was a Voix. She was the most beautiful Voix in all the world, and she had admirers from all over St Pierre. One day she met a glouglou, and he fell hopelessly in love with her because she was so beautiful.” “Bit shallow,” Dominic remarked. Matthew elbowed him in the side. “Shut up. It gets relevant.” Matthew cleared his throat. “She was so beautiful, but she didn’t have eyes for any of her suitors. For she was already in love... with that glouglou.” Dominic cast his eyes down, swallowing. Matthew hummed. “Yeah. It’s sad. It’s supposed to warn Voix off falling for glouglous.” “Didn’t quite work, did it?” Dominic mumbled into Matthew’s hair, the Voix sighing as he continued. “The Voix lady and the glouglou man saw each other in secret, until one of her suitors spied them one night as they kissed goodbye. He was furious, as he had been so sure he was to marry her. His jealousy engulfed him so much that he became enraged, and stormed after her. He pulled a dagger and he--” Matthew winced, curling into Dominic slightly. “This perhaps isn’t the best story to be telling, all things considered,” he mumbled. “I should’ve chosen a happier one to lighten the mood.” “What happened?” Dominic asked. Their eyes met; the glouglou’s were shining with curiousity and a hint of fear. “The man turned, then, leaving her corpse and chasing after the glouglou. He stormed into his shack and found him collapsed on the floor. Dead.” Matthew swallowed. “He died of a broken heart.” Dominic’s brow furrowed. “What? I don’t--” “They say when a glouglou and a Voix are in love, the glouglou changes. They don’t become a Voix, heaven forbid, but-- ow,” Matthew whined as Dominic had poked him in the side. “Sorry, sorry! Jesus,” he muttered, rubbing his ribs. “They don’t become a Voix, sadly,” he drawled as Dominic smiled a small smile beside him, “but they begin to become more perceptive of the world around them. They can apparently sense and feel the emotions of others, and sometimes it affects their own emotions.” “That night,” Dominic started. “The night we fought, and I... you... I walked into your room and I had felt so angry, so suddenly. I’d arrived to just see you and hold you! I guess, maybe... if what you’re saying isn’t just some Voixlore bullshit--” “Hey, easy.” “--then maybe when I walked into the room, I walked into a wall of your anger and hatred, that had been stewing there for days on end.” Matthew paused, pursing his lips. “That would explain a lot. You didn’t really have any reason to be angry with me.” “And Nancy’s problems with Ben... it wasn’t even a twin thing, it was just... will this last forever? This perception thing?” Matthew shrugged, laughing. “Just because I love a glouglou doesn’t mean I’m a sudden expert on them. Although, maybe it’d be worth talking to Lysander at some point,” he said, words dipping quieter as he realised they might not speak to him ever again. “When this whole mess is behind us,” he whispered, curling into Dominic’s side once more. After dinner was served (this time, neither had the stomach to eat, even after Annie reminded Matthew that he needed to have a good meal before he faded away), Annie sat at the table with them both, helping to clean Matthew’s wounds again. Dominic was given the task of unwinding the taut bandaging around Matthew’s stomach, the glouglous sighing with relief when the bruising had reduced by large amounts overnight. Annie instructed Dominic to not reapply the bandage, but to just cover it with one of her remedies as she began to shrug on a jacket. “Mum, where are you going?” Dominic said, eyes on his mother as he rolled up the used cloth and dropped it on the table. She’d been quiet most of the evening, as they all had. “Out,” she said, and it was evident that she was trying her hardest to be strong. “My friend Mary, she... knows something’s not right. I didn’t tell her, and she wouldn’t tell... she’s got too many secrets of her own. But she’s got a bottle of whiskey stashed away and I’ve got an open invitation, so I thought I’d...” The sentiment pressing heavily against Annie’s unfinished sentence was enough. When not one of them knew if they’d still be alive in twenty-four hours, how else could they spend what might be their last night on earth? She had one hand on the handle when Matthew spoke up. “Thank you,” he whispered, and in the silence his words carried across the room as if borne on an invisible wind. “For everything.” Annie turned back and gave a slight nod, before leaving them in peace, pulling the door shut behind her.

#and now you know just wHY the fukc dom and matt were at eachother's throats that one chapter #man these chapters stress me out hhhhh

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sea-side-scribbles · 4 years

Text

Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/63206323

Chapter 27

Seeing the Avalon Hotel for the first time, Arthur gasped. It looked even more glorious than he had imagined. „Wow, it’s a palace“, he sighed, clinging to Nick, causing his lover to chuckle. „Wait until you’ve seen it from inside.“ Arthur was eager to go in.

But before, they had to climb the noble wide stairs in front of the building. Arthur saw a golden statue decorating it and wondered what it might show. Halfway up the stairs he stopped and said: „Wait…is that you?“ Nick couldn’t help grinning. „Yep. It’s for the annual convention. It’s not always standing here.“ „Stop“, Arthur suddenly commanded. „Huh?“ Nick gave his lover a puzzled look, wondering if he said something wrong. „Could you place yourself next to the statue for a moment? Or better, on the pedestal?“

Nick obeyed quickly. He liked the sudden determination of his lover. It promised to be interesting.

Standing next to his golden self he put an arm around it’s shoulder in an easygoing pose. „Like this?“. His voice was pure silk. When he glanced back at Arthur he saw that his lover suddenly held a camera in his hands. Startled, he held up his own hands as an attempt to hide his face. „Hey, wait!", he shouted, "I’m not prepared for this! My hair is uncombed and my suit is full of wrinkles and my shoes are dirty…“ He began to tug at his clothes and sort his hair strands.

„Don’t be silly. You look smashing!" Arthur took his first photo without a warning, just when the nervous rock star was trying to clean his shoes. „Hey, I wasn’t ready!“, Nick moaned, but his lover had no mercy. „Start posturing or else this will be on the front page!“ Finally, Nick gave up his resistance.

Instead he proved to Arthur that he was a very talented model if he wanted to. Using all his irresistible charisma he was making his lover sweat behind the camera. Arthur forgave him all the crazy or way too sexy poses that would never make it in the newspaper. He planned to keep these photos for himself.

„Reporters, man, never lose an opportunity to assault innocent stars,“ Nick sighed, having the situation under control again. „You know what’s a really interesting subject?“ „I have some in mind,“ Arthur said, giving Nick a wholesome shiver. He however pointed at him and then at the pedestal. „You…up there. And I’m gonna take the photos.“ Arthur winced. „Me? No way! No one wants me on a photo,“ he stuttered while Nick hopped from the pedestal and snatched the camera from his hands. „But me,“ he countered. „Let me have some fun or I’ll get grumpy.“ „Do you even know how a camera works?“, Arthur tried but Nick lifted a hand. „Want a smack on the ear?“, he asked in a playful way. Then he pointed at the statue. „Get up there.“

Arthur climbed the pedestal and unsurely hung about the golden Nick. „The lens is on the front side, Nicky,“ he kept on kidding, but his voice was shaky. „And you better take a look into the little window on the back, so you’ll see if it’s focused!“ Nick lifted an eyebrow. „You have a big mouth for someone who’s posing like he shit his pants.“ „I’m not a model, Nick!“, Arthur protested with his fits clenched.

„You could be!", his lover said with emphasis. "After all you're tall, slim and handsome. All you need is a sense of ease, a sense of laissez faire, you know what I mean?“ Arthur crossed his arms and blushed. „The opposite of that,“ Nick commented, even though he found it adorable. „That’s ridiculous,“ Arthur grumbled. „Please, Arthur, only one picture! Be a tiny bit spontaneous, just stop thinking for a moment!“

Arthur, who was still red, tried his best to please his lover. He backed against the statue and laid a hand on it’s cold chest. „Yes,“ Nick yelled. „That’s good!“ He took the photo. „Give me another one,“ he said and Arthur complied. He tried a lot of silly stuff, hoping that no one would ever see these pictures, and only comforted by the fact that at least Nick seemed to like what he did. He had never considered to be somewhat good looking. Nick kept telling him though, so perhaps at least for the two of them it was true.

„You got it now, baby! Yeah, give me more!“ Nick blew kisses at Arthur who now thought that he maybe wasn't that bad. He got motivated enough to try something crazy, so he climbed on the statue and lied down on it’s widened arms. „Oh, that’s beautiful. Stay like this!“ Nick took multiple photos, thinking that he'd beg Arthur to develop them all so he could keep them. A sharp voice ended his euphoria.

„What do you think you’re doing here?“ A man in a red uniform came out of nowhere and eyed them suspiciously. Arthur quickly climbed down. Nick remained calm. „Public relations“, he said. „We must not be disturbed.“ „Is that so?“, the nosey man snapped. „And since when does the star take photos of the journalist?“ „This is the new age of journalism!" Nick's voice was now dripping with pathos. "The new transparency! People are done with the no-names and no-faces, they want to see the person behind the camera!“ The man remained unfazed.

„That's fine with me, but not in this property. This isn’t a playground and this statue his rather delicate.“ „But it’s my statue,“ Nick pointed out. „I don’t allow it,“ the man said sternly. „If you need something to climb, we have cliffs all around the island.“ „Very funny,“ Nick said dryly, but he had no chance. He turned to Arthur who had nervously watched their conversation. „What did I tell you? Nothing but snobs here.“ Arthur took the camera out of his lover’s hands. „Perhaps we went overboard a bit,“ he muttered. „Nonsense! We’re here to have fun after all. Let’s go in.“

With that he led Arthur into a pompous entrance hall that was filled with people who seemed to be totally ignorant about the beauty around them. Busy bell boys dragging heavy suitcases, stressed out receptionists, bored or upset guests sitting in comfortable chairs, and between all this Arthur who tried to be not too obvious about his astonishment.

Nick watched him rapturously, until he asked: „Are you hungry?“ Arthur gave him a puzzled look, so he repeated: „I asked if you’re hungry.“ and grinned Finally, Arthur heard him and noticed how the word ‚hunger‘ dramatically changed the feeling in his stomach. All of a sudden he had a gaping hole inside him and at the same time he became very interested in what people might eat in this wonderful place. „I guess so,“ he said blankly. „Splendid. I need a snack too.“ They meandered through the masses of people and luggage until they reached a double door. Nick opened it for Arthur. „After you.“

The restaurant was much calmer, the guests were good tempered and in the distance they heard a soft tune played on a piano. Arthur started to feel much better. When Nick ordered a table, he still hid behind him. He didn’t really trust the Wellies anymore. He was glad when the waiter gave them a cozy place in a corner of the room where nobody would watch them. They sat down and received the menu. Opening it, Arthur gulped.

„Oh dear,“ he said quietly. „What?“ Nick looked at him. „Everything is so…expensive. I’m afraid I can’t even afford a plate of buttered bread in here.“ Nick sighed. „Oh, Arthur, you’re so cute..." Arthur gave him another puzzled look. „You can have everything you want", his lover explained. "You’re my guest.“ Arthur scanned the menu again and found many delicious meals. He had no clue what to take.

„Do you have a favorite?“, he asked and Nick got going. He described at least ten different meals until Arthur interrupted him. „Did you already try everything on the card?“, he gasped. „Not everything. They change it every season. But it’s alright if you want something that’s not on it.“ Nick was so casual about it, as if they were just having a snack in a fast food restaurant. Arthur shook his head.

„I…I can’t decide.“, he said after a while. „Then choose everything!“ Nick gave him a wide smile. „I can’t do that.“ „Why not?“ „I’m not that hungry.“ „Then I’ll help you.“

While they were discussing, the waiter came back to their table. Nick saw him and quickly said: „I’ll take over. Or else you’ll miss out on too much.“ He began to give a large order and Arthur felt torn between his sense of shame and his growling stomach. „Thank you“, he whispered when the waiter was gone. His stomach had won. Nick patted his arm. „Wait until you take the first bite.“

„I’m so hungry, I feel like I didn’t eat in weeks“, Arthur suddenly admitted. „Shall I fetch you something from the bar?“ Nick was about to get up, but Arthur took his arm. „No, It’s okay", he assured him. "I want to stay hungry for everything you ordered.“ Nick eyed him. „Tell me if you need something, okay? I don’t want you to faint before you can eat anything.“ „Don’t worry. I can wait.“

Arthur had to remind himself that this was real. Whenever he spend time with Nick, he suddenly felt like a very important person. Just a couple of days ago he would’ve never believed that a man like Nick would love him. But here they were, sitting in the most noble restaurant in town. He felt flattered, seeing the way the famous rockstar looked at him. Nervously, he cleared his throat.

„How are you doing by the way? How’s the band?“ Nick relaxed again and smiled. „I feel great! I’m surprised myself about how well it’s working. When we’re playing, it feels just like in the old days, as if we’ve never been separated.“ He nodded, musing. „This is my chance. Our chance." Arthur gave him a warm smile. Time to dig deeper.

„Sounds like you’ll get the new record together.“ „You bet! We’re almost done!“, he said proudly. „Okay, we need a few more songs, two or three perhaps, but I sense this is going to be big.“ Arthur made a prying face. „How did you get your band back in the first place?“

Nick suddenly leaned closer to Arthur. Their faces almost touched. „Arthur…“ he whispered mysteriously. „Yes?,“ his lover sighed. „Arthur, my darling…“, Nick went on purring. „Yes?“, Arthur said again. Nick's voice was louder again when he said: „Tell me the truth. Is this really a date or do you want to squeeze informations out of me?“ He made Arthur wince. „You think I could do that?“ „I mistrust journalists in general,“ Nick said definitely. „So?“ Arthur stared down at the table.

„Of course it’s a date“, he said quietly. „But I had to promise my old boss to give him a new big story to get my press pass back. And if I don’t deliver I’ll soon be just a downer who stole a press pass. Please Nick, play along. I won’t write anything you don’t like. Or else I’ll have to hide in the tunnel again and you can’t go anywhere with me and soon I’ll bore you.“ The words blustered out of his mouth.

„Arthur, you don’t bore me at all!“, Nick eagerly replied. „Of course I’ll help you, because I want you to be free.“ His lover was flattered. „Thank you, Nick. I...I owe you one.“ Nick waved him off. „You don’t owe me nothing. I wouldn’t be here without you.“ „And without you, I would’ve been slaughtered by a horde of Wellies by now,“ Arthur countered.

Nick gave him a grin. „The show wouldn’t have been half as memorable without you.“ Arthur exhaled. „And I thought I ruined it.“ „No way! Didn’t you read the headlines the next day? I still have the photo of our fight.“ Nick winked at him. „Oh dear.“ Arthur covered his face with his hands. „I hope nobody recognizes me.“ „I don’t think so,“ Nick said calmly. „You’re hiding very well what a hardass you are." Arthur blushed.

„I’m just a bureaucrat.“ „Nonsense. You’re fast and strong, and most of all where the hell did you learn to fight like that?“, Nick swooned. „I was fighting in the arena in the Headboy’s Quarters,“ Arthur admitted. „Headboys?“ „Oh, that’s a group of tough guys in the Garden District. They think they own the place. And when you fall into their hands, you have to fight your way out.“ Nick stared at him. „Is that true?“ Arthur sighed. „Yeah, sadly, they got me.“ „But you made it out alive.“ Arthur suddenly felt adventurous and said: „They called me the King of the Parade.“ He saw a spark in Nick’s eyes he liked very much. „That’s…that’s very hot,“ Nick sighed.

They leered at each other until the waiter startled them, finally serving their meals, that were arranged so neatly that Arthur felt sorry to destroy them. He marveled at the filled plates while the waiter served them whine. „It tastes even better than it looks like,“ Nick assured him and raised his glass. „To the freedom of the press!“ Arthur followed. Their glasses clinked softly when they touched. Then Arthur enjoyed the best meal someone had ever served to him. Considering what he had seen as a downer made him wonder how the hotel could even afford such good food.

„What do you think?“, Nick asked him some time later. „It’s delicious. I never had such a good meal, not even in the best restaurants of the Parade District.“ Nick gave him a tender look. „Just eat it up, King. You need it.“ Arthur almost choked on the salad.

Nick went on: „I know you need this interview, but I’d love to know more about you.“ Arthur began to stutter. „I…I’m afraid there’s not much so know.“ „And that arena fight? Was that nothing?“ „It was the only exciting and dangerous event in my entire life. Everything else is…well…pretty much boring. I was a reporter, then a censor and then a downer.“ He shrugged. „That’s it.“ He pondered. „Okay, I’m pretty good at bridge.“ Because Nick silenced Arthur added: „That’s a card game.“

„I know bridge,“ Nick said and played upset. „Just because I’m a rockstar doesn’t mean I’m dumb as a sack of hammers!“ He made Arthur smirk. „You won’t be the first.“ „Oh, you really want that smack on the ear!“ Arthur leered at him. „What if I do?“ „I see. You’re provoking it the entire time, assaulting me with your camera, taking me on a fake date to press information out of me and to cap it all off you’re offending me.“ „I was just joking,“ Arthur defended himself. „Guess what? You’re not boring at all,“ Nick concluded.

Arthur stubbornly poked his plate with his fork. „I guess I changed a bit. But there’s still not much to say about me.“ Nick pondered that, running a hand through his hair. Then he leaned closer to his lover again. „Listen, Arthur, my life can be boring, too. Right now it’s going so well that there’s barely anything to fill your story with.“ Arthur disagreed: "But the happy stories are the best stories! That’s all I need!“ He gave Nick a warm smile. „Just give me a comforting plot. Something that’s just the way it should be. The Wellies will love it. And I’d love it too, to hear that you’re doing well.“ Arthur gave Nick’s shoulder a soft pat and looked deeply into his green eyes. Nick wondered how his crazy life could actually fit in an article.

Then he said: „Alright, first I’ll tell you the truth, and then we’ll turn it into a story, okay?“ „Okay,“ Arthur answered with a curious look. Nick wriggled about on his chair. „Actually it’s not quite heroic. It’s going well now but it wasn’t easy to get them all back together.“ His expression became worried. He meekly said: „Normally I wouldn’t tell this story to anyone.“ Arthur put down his glass.

„Nick, I’m a downer. I won’t judge you just because your life isn’t all sunshine and roses.“ His lover looked at him pleadingly. „But would you write about it? You know, you could easily denounce me with it.“ He sighed. „I don’t want to tell you a lie either.“ Arthur was about to hold his hand, but then noticed how that would look like.

„Nick, trust me,“ he said instead. „I love you. I won’t use you to give myself airs in the press. Trust me, if I had a choice I’d forget all this and just have a good time with you. Let's just…get this over with, okay? “ His lover have him a thankful look. „I’m glad I’m having this interview with you. Everyone else would’ve used me.“ „I won’t“, Arthur said again with emphasis. Nick got lost in the other man’s dark brown eyes before he went on.

„It was all…coincidence. The same day we ran across each other at Sally’s I met my band again. That is, one of them.“ He gulped. „It was a real awful day and I…I thought my career is over. Somehow I gathered the courage to visit my old pianist from the Make Believes. Morrie Memento.“ Nick avoided Arthur’s eyes now. He felt uncomfortable talking about Morrie in front of him, but he wanted to clarify Morrie’s role in the story. At least the whine helped him to fight down his conflicted feelings.

„I didn’t beg for my old band, I only told him how sorry I am. I haven’t been quite nice in the past, you know. I don’t remember it anymore, but I somehow kicked him out of the band. And maybe others too. I only know that the band broke up and it’s all my fault. And Morrie…he gave me a new chance. He summoned the lads and…I had to persuade them too. Somehow I made it and we’re together…God, I thought I’ll never see them again.“ He took another sip of whine and refilled his glass, before he gave Arthur a questioning look. But Arthur’s glass was still full.

„Don’t you like it? I could order something else for you.“ His lover shook his head. „It’s good, but I rather stay sober for a while. It’s only afternoon.“ Nick suddenly smirked. „You don’t tolerate that much, am I right?“ „Are you trying to change the subject?“, Arthur replied. Nick’s smirk fell down. „Well…what else is there to say? I know these guys since school and it’s wonderful to perform with them again. I need to prove them every day that I’m not trying to sell them out and sometimes it’s very tiring but I’m confident they’ll be pleased when our record is out.“ He drank again.

Then he suddenly said: „Would you do me a favor?“ „Sure.“ „Can you interview them too? I promised not to be the only spokesman for the band anymore.“ Arthur widened his eyes. „That’s not a favor for you, but for me! My boss will fall on his knees and praise me if I give her an article about the entire band. Of course I’ll do that!“ Nick smiled. „You’re such a sweetheart, Arthur.“ They exchanged amorous looks again until they got served the next course of meals.

Arthur stared in surprise at how many new plates were piled up at their table. „How much did you order? This is enough for an entire week!“ „We can keep the rest", Nick waved him off. "Just eat your fill.“ Arthur stopped protesting and pitched in. He ate another heap.

It was the first time since weeks that he was able to stuff that gaping hole in his stomach. Meanwhile he could comfort Nick a bit and made him talk about some pleasant memories that’ll amp up the article. They made notes together and had a very good time while their dessert was served.

„I’m full as a tick,“ Arthur finally said. „I think I’ll never eat again.“ Nick was still busy with his chocolate mousse when suddenly a waitress brought him a big pile of ice cream. „This looks very delicious, my darling, but it’s not mine,“ he told the girl, giving her a charming smile. She returned the smile and said: „It’s from the lady over there.“

Nick turned his head and froze. For the third time he saw the girl with that incredibly long blonde mane. She had a beautiful smirk, too. He blew a kiss at her, alerting Arthur. „Who’s that?“ „Uh…that’s a fellow musician. Birdie Callagher, maybe you’ve heard of her“, he casually explained. „And she’s sweet on you?“ Arthur lifted his eyebrows. „Perhaps. To be honest, I can’t read her. Perhaps her plan is to make me burst at the seams," he answered eyeing the big ice cream bowl. „In that case she’s too late. You accomplished that yourself,“ his lover said dryly. He didn’t like it one bit that this blonde bombshell was flirting with his Nick.

„You know, I can pay her back,“ Nick said now and waved to a waiter. „Just leave it be,“ Arthur tried, but his lover didn’t listen. Proud of his plan, Nick leaned back. „I ordered her the biggest bowl of ice cream they have. I hope she’ll like it.“ „And what are we doing with this?“, Arthur pointed at Nick’s. „What do you think?“, he replied and began to eat. „Perhaps we should better leave,“ Arthur urged him. „And miss out on her reaction? No way!“ Nick glanced over Birdie’s table. „I feel watched,“ his lover said. „Oh come on, this looks just like an interview, reporter and star, just as you said. Relax,“ Nick waved him off. Then he got excited. „There, now look!“

They watched how Birdie was served a giant bowl that would've been too much even for two people. She threw her hands up in surprise and laughed out loud. Then she looked at Nick, who gestured her to eat it all up. However, she made a gesture as if she wanted to beckon him over. Arthur immediately felt sick. He was very relived when Nick refused.

"Now we've seen it. Now let's...", Arthur began but couldn't end his sentence because another portion of ice cream was placed in front of him. "What the..." The waiter said: "It's from the lady over there." Arthur turned around to stare at a fancy dressed woman with brown pinned-up hair who waved at him. Nick burst out in laughter. "That's not funny", his lover protested. "Don't tell me it never happened to you before...", Nick gasped. "Oh man, your face..."

Arthur screw up his nose. "She's probably just thinking I can get her a backstage pass." Nick took a deep breath. "Come on, dear, relax and eat some." "But I'm full," Arthur said stubbornly. "Just try it. It's really good." Arthur gave up and took his spoon. At least Nick wasn't watching that blonde girl anymore. His ice cream was delicious too. "Now I'm really full," he said after eating half of it. Nick didn't come much farther that him.

"What a shame we can't keep that," he said, sadly watching the ice melt. "It was wonderful, Nick", Arthur said with a softer tone. "But now whe should go." Nick agreed, but he also glanced at Birdie's table once again, who was still eating. "She'll eat it up", he whispered in awe. "She didn't empty the entire kitchen before that, unlike us. Please, Nick!" Arthur couldn't handle it any longer. "Okay, okay," Nick said and finally got up. His lover was quickly leaving the restaurant, so that Nick didn't get another chance to dally away.

#wehappyfew #whf #we happy few #whf nick #whfnick #nick lightbearer #nickxarthur #whf arthur #whfarthur

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markonasurface · 7 years

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6/50 - “Could you be any louder?”

Fandom: All for the Game Characters/pairings: the Foxes/andreil, kevin x allison, (aaron x katelyn, matt x dan, renee x jean) Summary: The Foxes decide to spend spring break together again (sans the freshmen). The walls are thin and Allison doesn’t want to hear any stupidly happy couples screwing. A/N: Because I saw this post and all I could think of was tfc/aftg. Tbh it’s all I think about these days.

http://maelerie.tumblr.com/post/135803922052/send-me-two-characters-or-more-and-a-prompt-and

**warning for the usual things brought up from the Foxes’ pasts**

It was their second spring break together and would be the girls’ last one with them since they were fifth year seniors. Dan, Matt, Renee, and Allison had decided to rent a cabin again.

Even though they were no longer roommates, or maybe because they were no longer roommates, Neil and Matt kept up with their fighting lessons. Neil showed up just as the upperclassmen decided it might be nice to go to the same place as last time.

“Think Andrew would let you guys come along again?” Dan asked.

“I’ll ask,” Neil said.

“Then it’ll be a definite yes,” Matt grinned.

Neil smiled, a little less socially awkward after nearly two years with the Foxes. “Are the freshmen coming?” he asked.

“God no.” Allison groaned. “Spring break is supposed to be relaxing and fun. It’ll be hard enough with the monsters around.”

All Neil said was, “Okay.” He knew she had a soft spot for them even if she still hated them all. Also, he was pleased they didn’t want the freshmen around as much as he didn’t.

He joined the others in the lounge after his shower and Wymack went over notes for the coming week. He ended with, “Don’t fail your midterms.”

“So?” Allison asked Neil.

“I haven’t asked, yet,” he told her.

“Asked what?” One of the freshmen questioned.

Neil turned to Andrew and spoke in German, “They want to know if we want to join them for spring break like last year.”

“Hell yeah!” Nicky shouted in English.

“It’s not fair when you guys speak in German,” Sheena complained.

Aaron looked at her and said, “If it’s in German, it’s not your business. You don’t hear Kevin complaining.”

“That’s probably because he’s just relieved he doesn’t have to listen to Neil and Andrew’s dirty talk and understand.”

If it wasn’t Exy, Kevin didn’t care so he didn’t respond. Neil ignored the comment and relayed the invitation in French.

Kevin shook his head. “There wasn’t a court last time.” His response was in English.

Neil kept on in French. “Will you go if they find a place with a court?”

“Nobody likes it when you guys speak French either!”

“No one likes it when you speak.” Aaron returned.

Kevin pointed at Allison. “Find a place with a court.”

She glared. “You’re so fucking predictable.”

“Fuck you.”

“In your dreams, asshole.”

One of the freshmen blurted, “You guys are making plans and only inviting half of the team?”

They ignored the freshmen and started for the door. “Aaron?” Dan asked. “You can bring Katelyn.”

This started another round of protests from the freshmen. “She’s not even on the team!”

Aaron shrugged and Dan grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Thea can come, too.” Renee said kindly to Kevin.

“No.”

Neil nudged Andrew and got a glare. “So we’re going?”

“Make sure there are enough rooms. I want the one farthest away from them,” he shot over his shoulder.

“Hey, Renee,” Nicky said. “Is Jean coming?”

“Are you kidding me?” Jack yelled when Renee nodded. “He’s on another fucking team!”

Dan/Matt Kevin/Nicky Andrew/Neil Aaron/Katelyn Allison Renee/Jean

They left Saturday afternoon. They took three cars since they had two extra people coming along. Matt drove Nicky, Aaron and Katelyn since Aaron still refused to have Katelyn and Andrew in the same space for long. Allison drove Dan, Renee and Jean since Renee wanted to avoid the awkwardness that was Kevin and Jean. Andrew, Neil and Kevin were the last to arrive since they stopped for alcohol.

Neil thought there wasn’t much difference between this place and the one they stayed at last spring. The set up was much the same with one bedroom on the first floor and four on the second. The only difference was there was a loft/attic that acted as a sixth bedroom.

The others had left the first floor bedroom for Andrew and Neil again so Kevin went upstairs to find the room with Nicky’s bag.

Their first day was remarkably similar to their first day last year. The others were already in the hot tub. Nicky helped Andrew mix drinks for the others. Andrew and Neil isolated themselves in view of the others and sipped whiskey.

They ate dinner together then settled on couches and raced to see who could get wasted first. They ended the night with Allison calling out the same warning she had the year before. “The walls are thin! I better not hear any of you stupidly happy couples fucking.”

“I bet if you ask nicely Kevin will keep you warm tonight,” Nicky singsonged.

Kevin shot him a disgusted look at the same time Allison told Nicky, “It wasn’t funny the last five times you said it.”

Late Sunday morning the Foxes slowly convened in the front room so they could head to breakfast together. They talked quietly, most of them hungover, all of them still waking up.

“I’m hungry,” Nicky complained.

“Then go wake up your cousin,” Allison snapped back.

“They have to be awake,” Dan said, eyes closed and head leaned on Matt’s shoulder. “I heard one of them get up to shower this morning.”

Nicky glanced at their door. “If one of them is up, the other is, too, but I haven’t heard a sound from their room. Have you?”

He crossed the room and knocked. There was no answer so he tried the door knob and was surprised to find it was unlocked.

His jaw dropped when he took in the scene before him. Neil was leaned back against the wall, hands in Andrew’s hair, and Andrew was on his knees.

Neil’s eyes snapped open with the door and he spluttered, “Fucking hell, Nicky -” He made a noise Nicky never in a million years thought he’d hear coming from him in real life and struggled to keep his eyes open. “G-get the fuck out!”

Nicky slammed the door in his haste and turned to the others who were looking at him curiously. “I think I just saw Neil enjoying himself while not playing Exy,” Nicky deadpanned and couldn’t keep the grin off of his face.

“You’re lying,” Matt accused but he was laughing like the rest of the team.

“Andrew was -” Nicky mimed giving a blowjob and the others lost it.

“You’re gonna make me puke,” Aaron was perhaps the only one less amused than Kevin.

“They’re so quiet,” Matt looked back at their door.

Allison stood. “Let’s go to breakfast, then.”

The others agreed and stood up. About half of them were out the front door when Andrew emerged from his room.

He grabbed Nicky by the shirt and hissed, “Don’t do that again.” His cousin struggled to hold back his laughter but nodded.

“You look wrecked,” Allison commented and Andrew glared.

“Shut up.” More than a couple of the others snorted. It was hard to take him seriously when his lips were swollen and red, his pupils were so dilated his eyes were almost completely black, and his hair was sticking up in weird angles thanks to Neil’s hands.

Allison only allowed a small smile and said, “It’s a good look on you,” before walking out the door. It wasn’t a lie.

Andrew refused to come out of his room for the rest of Sunday which meant Neil didn’t either. The others left them alone until after dinner.

“They could be having sex,” Nicky slurred, already tipsy. “And we wouldn’t even know.”

“Is it normal?” Matt looked toward their door again. “To be so quiet?”

Renee cleared her throat softly and the others looked to where she was curled up with her feet under her and Jean’s arm around her. “I think that everybody’s different. Different experiences and all that.”

“What?” Katelyn asked.

Aaron groaned but kissed her temple. “If the only experience you have is being raped and having your life threatened if you make a noise, you’re used to being quiet.”

He waited for Katelyn to show she understood. The alcohol made her brain sluggish so it took her a few seconds. “Okay, but what about Neil?”

“I heard him tell Andrew that his mom used to beat him any time she caught him with a girl.”

“Damn!” Nicky laughed and Aaron turned to glare. He had been speaking quietly but hadn’t realized the others had gone silent around him to listen. “I’ve heard of people trying to beat the gay out of you but never have I heard of someone beating someone n-not straight!”

Aaron ignored the others as usual and told Katelyn. “Also, Neil’s a liar. The first nineteen years of his life he spent controlling what other people saw of him. I imagine it’s not easy giving up control after so long.”

“Neil ‘I’m fine’ Josten,” Matt agreed.

“What does that mean?” Jean instinctively looked toward Kevin for an answer.

The others hadn’t really seen the two former Ravens interact except for at the banquets when Riko had a collar around Jean’s neck. They also knew the reason Jean wasn’t playing with the Foxes was because there was too much history between him and Kevin.

They didn’t know what they expected but it wasn’t an open expression and Kevin telling Jean, “Last year, whenever anyone asked Neil how he was or if he was okay he would automatically say, ‘I’m fine.’ Even after he came back from Christmas break he told everyone he was fine.”

Jean nodded at this. He changed to French. “The two weeks he spent with the Ravens he never said how he was doing. Mostly just screaming and groaning.”

“Nobody asked,” Kevin assumed. “Nobody would’ve cared.”

“When we talked, it was mostly about Riko, Exy, and you.”

Riko’s name spiked interest in their conversation even more. Kevin only slightly stiffened. When Jean finally looked at the others he said in English, “I’ve never heard Neil say, ‘I’m fine.’ If I had to give him a name like that it would be Neil ‘fuck you’ Josten.”

His comment lightened the mood again and the others went back to talking about random things. Allison motioned for Dan and Renee to follow her so they got up from their seats. Renee looked at Allison and pointed to Katelyn with her eyes and Allison shrugged. While Dan kissed Matt, Renee went over to Aaron and Katelyn and said, “We’re going upstairs. Care to join us?”

“Sure,” Katelyn looked only slightly surprised. She kissed Aaron’s cheek then let Renee help her to her feet.

“Come on, Dan,” Allison whined. She pulled Dan away from Matt and grabbed the fullest bottle she could on their way to the stairs. Renee brought up the rear in case any one of her tipsy friends decided to trip.

When they reached the attic, they all climbed onto Allison’s bed. Allison and Dan turned to Katelyn.

Her face was already a little flushed from alcohol but blood rushed to her cheeks when Allison asked, “So is Aaron loud?”

“Wh-what?” she stuttered, then laughed a little nervously. “Why?”

“We just got proof his twin’s not.”

“No, we didn’t,” Katelyn said. “We got proof that his twin’s boyfriend isn’t loud.”

Dan nodded. “Yeah, but you heard what Aaron said.”

Allison rolled her eyes. “Okay, but both of them are very controlling. The only time we’ve ever seen Andrew show any personality was on his drugs. After that, nothing. I think it’s safe to say neither of them is able to give up that much control even when they’re getting each other off. I think Andrew’s less likely than Neil.”

Dan giggled and choked on a mouthful of liquor.

“So, back to Aaron,” Allison tried to gesture to Katelyn.

She shrugged and took a gulp from their shared bottle when Dan offered it to her. She grinned and said, “Mostly only when he’s drunk. Otherwise, he’s not. He’s kind of serious and sweet.”

“Aaron? Sweet?” Dan hiccuped. She paused then said, “Last year I would’ve never believed it. But now - now that we’ve seen him around you - Oh, my god! He does have a soft side!”

She said it like a revelation. She turned to Allison. “Do you think Andrew is sweet to Neil?”

Allison blinked lazily up at the ceiling. “I don’t know. Remember when Nicky thought it was just hate sex?”

“Yeah, but they’ve been together for a year now,” Dan took another swig from the bottle.

“I’d be more shocked to find out Andrew is gentle when they’re - do you think they’ve even had sex? I mean, like, besides handies and blowjobs. Like, I’d get it after all that shit with Drake last year.” Allison leaned up on her elbows suddenly to look at Renee. “Does he tell you that stuff?”

“No,” she said and left it at that.

Allison fell onto her back again and dragged Dan with her. Katelyn drank from the bottle and swallowed. Then she said, “Which one of your teammates do you think is the loudest in bed?”

At the same time Dan and Allison answered, “Nicky.” This sent them into a fit of giggles. Renee smiled down at her friends.

“Hm,” Allison hugged Dan and snuggled into her warmth. “Now we know two are quiet, two are loud and one -” She pointed at Katelyn and nodded once in thanks. “Is both.”

She gasped and blurted, “What about Kevin?”

“Someone so uptight has to let loose somewhere, right?” Dan rolled so that she was on her stomach.

“I don’t know,” Renee said and the other women immediately gave her their undivided attention.

When she didn’t elaborate, Allison and Dan both complained.

“C’mon, Renee-nay,” Allison leaned across Dan’s back to tug at her pastel colored tips. “What do you know?”

She pursed her lips. “This doesn’t leave this room,” she finally caved. They waved her off and she spoke quietly, not wanting Jean or Kevin to hear her even though there was an entire floor between them. “Riko decided when Kevin and Jean had sex for the first time.”

“What? Like he fucked them?” Allison shrieked.

Renee shushed Allison and said, “No. He chose the girls for them and was there when it happened. Ravens weren’t allowed to go anywhere without another Raven. Kevin was literally by Riko’s side for most of his life and when he finally left, Jean was.”

Dan grimaced and spoke slowly. “That’s sick. So they were only allowed to have sex if someone else was watching?”

“I don’t think the rules were as strict with the other Ravens but I don’t know. Neil said Riko and Kevin shared a room in one hall and all the other Ravens were in a different hall.”

“But if he was always with Riko, how’d he and Thea get together?”

Renee shrugged, deciding she had shared way too much information for the night.

Allison was on her back again, blinking lazily at the ceiling. She asked, “Is Jean loud?”

Renee’s eyes looked empty. “I imagine it’s a little bit like Andrew’s situation. He learned begging and fighting didn’t make them stop.” She flinched and she was sweet Renee Walker again. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. We’ve kissed and that’s it. I don’t really know.”

Dan grabbed her hand and squeezed. It was hard to believe Renee when she said she and Andrew were very similar but times when they were reminded of her past and now that they knew a little more about what he had gone through, it was hard to believe she didn’t turn out exactly like him.

“I thought Kevin was gay for the longest time,” Allison admitted, subdued. “Like, I thought it was the reason he couldn’t fully give up Riko.”

“Do you think he was ...” Katelyn wondered. “Is that why you said you don’t know if he’s loud in bed?”

Renee shrugged. “I don’t know. Everyone’s different. Even two people who go through the same situation can react to things differently.”

“Geez,” Dan said. “Sorry, Katelyn. We promise our hangouts aren’t always such downers.”

“It’s interesting,” Katelyn admitted, laying next to Dan . “I know not all the girls on the squad had perfect lives but I feel like we live in a bubble sometimes, you know? I feel like everything I’ve learned about your team is stuff you only see in movies. Abuse, rape, murder. After hanging out with you guys, it’s just something so different hanging out with the squad.”

“I guess after dating one of the monsters, nothing can really surprise you, huh?” Allison’s eyes were closed and she reached out blindly to squeeze Katelyn’s arm.

Dan threw an arm over Allison’s waist and snuggled her face into the side of her neck. “Remember that thing that Neil said? Uh, it-I, um, if we got what we deserved we wouldn’t be foxes.”

“Hm,” Allison sighed, already asleep.

Renee woke up before the sun rose and couldn’t fall back asleep. She turned over under Jean’s arm and studied his face. It was weird, the contrast. She had seen all of her teammates awake and asleep at some point and it never ceased to amaze her.

They all looked so peaceful and it made Renee sad to think that anyone could hurt them. The thought passed through her mind again and she remembered why she couldn’t fall back asleep. She felt guilty.

Jean’s and Kevin’s lives at Castle Evermore were their business and for some reason Renee had shared some of Jean’s and Kevin’s experiences. She wouldn’t want Jean telling his teammates that she had been raped. Yet, she had all but stated that multiple people had forced themselves on him.

Lightly, she pressed a fingertip to his cheek and traced the three she knew was underneath his coverup tattoo. His eyelashes fluttered and he breathed deeply, moving a hand to cover hers. He moved their hands down until he could press a kiss to her palm.

“Morning,” he sighed against her skin and she felt his lips quirk up into a smile.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she said softly.

He squinted his eyes open and turned to grab his phone off the nightstand. “You didn’t,” he told her after checking the time. “I always get up now.”

A door opened on the other side of the space separating Dan and Matt’s and Renee and Jean’s rooms from Nicky and Kevin’s and Aaron and Katelyn’s rooms. Quiet footsteps crossed that space and stopped in front of their door.

The knock was light and Renee looked up at Jean before sliding off the bed and going to answer it. She knew who it was going to be but she was still a little surprised.

Kevin leaned against the doorframe, looking slightly surprised to see Renee as well.

“Kevin, good morning,” she said.

“Hi, Renee,” he responded. “Is Jean up?”

She had a feeling he already knew the answer. She opened the door the rest of the way and moved so Kevin could see Jean.

“Neil and I are going to the court.”

Jean sat up. “Meet you downstairs.”

Neil finished tying his shoe before turning back to look at Andrew. “Are you planning on leaving the room today?”

“I might kill Nicky if I do.”

Andrew’s eyes were closed so Neil rolled his eyes and leaned in close. “Yes?”

“Mm,” Andrew hummed. Neil kissed him.

When Neil closed the door behind him he was greeted with an annoyed look from Kevin. He looked at his watch, making sure he wasn’t late, then shrugged it off, knowing Kevin was displeased with Andrew’s failure to join them.

Kevin didn’t move so Neil shot him a questioning look. He looked up at the second floor when he heard a door open. Kevin waited for Jean to get halfway down the stairs before heading outside.

Neil drove them to the court. He would’ve preferred to run but then he couldn’t take his racquets. They started with laps around the court which was nice but slightly smaller than an actual Exy court. They stretched like they usually did at their morning practices with their teams before running through the Raven drills. Kevin let Jean borrow one of his racquets since he and Neil both used heavier racquets more commonly used by backliners and was closer to Jean’s height.

Three hours later other people started showing up at the court much to Kevin’s annoyance. He started collecting the balls into a bucket but he was Kevin Day and he was with Jean Moreau and Neil Josten. He was one of the sons of Exy and now he was the only son of Exy. They had all been marked for Riko’s perfect Court.

Of course he wasn’t able to gather more than a couple balls before someone approached him. Kevin half assed one of his press smiles which was more than enough.

Neil took over collecting balls. Kevin and Jean were media trained; Neil was known for saying controversial things and pissing people off. As soon as he finished collecting the balls, he called out to Kevin.

The boy who was posing for a picture with Kevin and Jean looked at Neil. Kevin motioned for him to come over and Neil tried to wave him off.

It was a repeat of Kathy Ferdinand. Kevin called out in French, “You gave me your game so get the fuck over here. Play nice.”

Jean raised his eyebrows at that. “Really?”

Neil called out, “Fuck you, both.” Kevin and Jean laughed like Neil had made a joke. None of the people there had understood their conversation so they laughed, too.

They posed for pictures and gave autographs for ten minutes before Kevin said, “We better get going. It was great meeting you.”

“Play a game with us!” Someone suggested.

Neil thought Kevin would decline. These people were only playing for fun. They weren’t dedicated enough that Kevin would be wasting his time.

“Sure, one game,” Kevin agreed and Neil gave him a look. “Jean needs to borrow some gear though.”

They headed over to their duffle bags and Kevin muttered, “Stop looking like Nicky just walked in on Andrew giving you a blowjob.”

Neil gaped. “Did you just make a fucking joke?”

They pulled on their helmets and gloves, deciding they’d do a short first-team-to-five-points kind of game. They were just deciding teams when Andrew and Renee showed up.

Neil watched as one man was brave enough (or stupid enough) to try to introduce himself to Andrew. He offered him a hand to shake and Andrew stared at him uninterested. Renee intervened and shook the poor guy’s hand, introducing herself.

Andrew left them and went straight for Neil. He hooked his fingers through the grating of Neil’s helmet and said, “You’ve been gone for more than three hours.”

“Don’t blame me,” Neil couldn’t help but smile knowing Andrew had run five miles to get here. “Blame Mr. Celebrity, Queen Day, over here.”

“I want ice cream,” Andrew said and a piece of sweat-darkened hair fell into his eyes. “Give me my keys.”

“Play a game with us,” Kevin said.

Andrew’s gaze floated over to Kevin. “No.”

“Neil will get wasted after.”

“No, I won’t.”

It was amusing watching Kevin try not to scowl because so many pairs of eyes were on him. “I’ll fill the freezer at the cabin with your favorite ice cream and won’t say anything when you make yourself sick off it.”

“I’m not putting on any gear.”

Jean and Renee joined them, both wearing borrowed helmets and gloves. They each had an arm wrapped around the other. Under her free arm, Renee carried an extra helmet and gloves.

“Here you go,” she smiled at Andrew.

He took it and said, “I’m not guarding your goal.” He crossed the court and went to stand in the opposite goal.

Renee smiled at the other three and said, “I’ll be a backliner for the other team.”

They had more than enough volunteers to fill their team. They ended up having to play three games because so many people wanted the chance to say they played on Kevin Day’s team.

Andrew rebounded most of the balls off of Kevin’s helmet whenever he got the chance. Neil was relieved Renee was put on as Kevin’s mark because she knew what he was like when he was frustrated or upset with Andrew. Whichever striker Jean guarded had a hard time getting the ball at all but their other backliners weren’t very good and their goalie was worse.

After the third game, Andrew walked off the court. Kevin declined another game and Renee made sure to thank everyone she played with. Jean waited and held a hand out to her when she started toward him.

They changed out of their sweaty clothes. Jean gave Renee his clean shirt and she smiled gratefully. He replaced his dirty shirt with his jacket. Neil threw Andrew his hoodie before going into a stall to change.

“I will leave you,” Andrew called so Neil could hear him from his bathroom stall.

“Just like you’ll push me off the roof of Fox Tower.” Neil came out and joined the others.

In the car Jean checked his phone and frowned. “What’d you do to piss off Thea?” he asked Kevin.

Kevin didn’t turn around and he answered in French. “We had an argument about Riko and the Ravens. She didn’t like what I had to say so she dumped me.”

“I thought we convinced her last year that you were telling the truth,” Jean switched to French to humor Kevin.

“She wanted to know more so I told her more. She’ll get over it.” Kevin turned the volume up on the radio to end the conversation. Andrew slapped his hand but didn’t turn it back down.

Andrew parked the car in the farthest parking space possible and told Kevin, “Buy me a spoon, too.”

Jean and Renee went with Kevin. Neil waited until he couldn’t see them through the back window before leaning forward. “Shower when we get back?”

“Not with you.”

Neil kissed the side of Andrew’s neck and murmured, “Why not?”

He didn’t answer. He wouldn’t answer for two reasons: Neil already knew the answer and Andrew wouldn’t admit to weakness.

When the others came back, they filled Andrew’s trunk with ice cream. Renee passed him a pint and a spoon and he ripped the plastic seal off with his teeth. Kevin looked disgusted but true to his word didn’t say anything.

On Tuesday the group went on a five mile hike. It was a loop trail through a densely wooded area. They paired off on the narrow trail talking about anything and everything.

It was one of Neil’s favorite parts of spring break. Their team blended together and “upperclassmen” and “monsters” was scarcely used, if at all. They still argued a lot, but it was over stupid things that normal twenty-somethings would fight about.

Neil hung back until he was bringing up the rear with Andrew. They walked in silence, listening to their teammates laugh and shout.

As they approached a part in the path where sunlight broke through leaves and branches, Neil nearly toppled over the side of the trail. Andrew’s grip on his hand tightened and to anyone who looked back at them it would seem that Andrew only grabbed Neil’s hand to stop him from falling. In truth, Neil had tripped because he wasn’t expecting Andrew to hold his hand with all of the others around.

He looked at Andrew, hair and eyes unnaturally pale in the sunlight. Andrew stared back, mouth straight, eyes only Neil could read as defiant.

“Aw,” Nicky cooed and the couple’s attention snapped forward.

Andrew dropped his hand and Neil glared at Nicky for ruining this moment. Katelyn was peering over his shoulder at his phone.

“This is a great picture,” she said. “Dan will want to put it on the wall.”

“I will kill you,” Andrew fixed Nicky with a look.

Nicky rolled his eyes but forced his way to the front of the group as he yelled, “What’s new?”

Four miles in Allison stopped.

“Where’s Dan?”

The others looked between themselves and shrugged. Neil frowned. “Matt’s missing, too.”

“Oh,” Allison smirked.

“We should go look for them,” Neil said.

“Dan and Matt are missing together,” Nicky emphasized. When Neil still looked confused, he said, “They’re probably doing the straight person nasty.”

The others groaned. “Do you always have to call it that?”

“What if they’re actually hurt?” Neil didn’t look convinced. “We’re in the woods. One of them could have twisted an ankle or fallen.”

“They’re fine,” Allison put her hands on Neil’s shoulders. She breathed in deeply through her nostrils. “Fine. Let’s go everyone!”

The others protested but they all headed back the way they came calling out to their ‘lost’ teammates.

They didn’t have to go far before they heard Dan moaning and Matt grunting through a patch of trees. The others tried to keep straight faces. Aaron was the first to turn away.

“Happy?” he asked. “They’re fine.”

“More than fine,” Renee agreed, taking Jean’s hand and following Aaron and Katelyn.

The others started to follow but Neil stood frozen in place. He felt the burn in his cheeks.

“Neil?” Kevin looked over his shoulder when he didn’t hear them following behind.

“Wh-why?” he stuttered. “Why would anyone want to do th-that out here?”

Nicky put a hand over his heart and sighed. “Oh, you sweet, sweet boy.”

Andrew shot him a warning look and Neil glared. “I’m serious.”

“Andrew, take Neil about a mile back and show him why.” Nicky winked.

“No.”

Nicky laughed. Andrew took Neil’s hand and dragged him along in the opposite direction from the others. Neil looked back and forth between the cousins.

“Have fun, you two!” Nicky called.

“Andrew, stop,” Neil said. He immediately loosened his grip and waited. “We’re not actually going to - like, we’re not going to do whatever Matt and Dan are doing, are we?”

Andrew shrugged.

“I don’t want -” Neil sighed.

“What?” Andrew demanded, impatient, not angry.

“Our first time to be in the mud,” Neil finished, rushed, eyes locked on Andrew’s.

Neil could have sworn Andrew nearly smiled. “Can I blow you in the mud?”

He wasn’t Andrew so he grinned, suddenly at ease. “Can I blow you?”

The upperclassmen wolf whistled when Andrew and Neil finally returned from their eight mile hike. Andrew ignored them and went straight to the porch, pulling out his pack of cigarettes.

“So now do you understand why people do that out there?” Matt smiled knowingly at Neil.

“No,” Neil tried to keep a straight face. He turned to Nicky, “Thanks for pissing off Andrew.”

“Anytime.” Nicky winked.

Neil crossed his arms. “Stop winking at me. I had to walk an extra three miles because Andrew refused to finish the hike with you guys.”

Nicky frowned. “You mean you guys didn’t -”

Neil shrugged and went to find Andrew. When he joined him at the railing, he leaned in close and asked, “Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Andrew exhaled his lungful of smoke in Neil’s face.

Neil closed the distance, smiling as the taste of Andrew on his tongue was replaced with the more familiar taste of his cigarettes.

“Smells like rain,” Dan commented as she came out of the bathroom toweling her hair dry. “Did Neil and Andrew come back, yet?”

The others pointed around a table, through the archway toward the sliding glass door. Dan tilted her head.

“Guess they didn’t get enough of each other out on the trail.”

“Do you think Neil’s only allowed to touch Andrew’s hair?” Matt asked, not able to drag his eyes away.

“Five dollars - yes,” Nicky responded.

Allison shook her head. “Fifty for no.”

“I’m with Nicky,” Matt said.

“Oh, honey.” Dan plopped down next to Matt. “You boys are so wrong. Fifty for no.”

“Are you going to bet?” Jean asked Kevin.

The others immediately started protesting. “That’d be unfair.”

“Kevin has an unfair advantage. He shares a room with them. He spends extra time with them on the court.”

Kevin glanced at the others. “We go to the court to play Exy and run drills. I see what the rest of you see.”

“Liar.”

He shrugged, unaffected.

Dan groaned at the sunlight coming in through the window. She pressed her naked body closer to Matt’s, one leg thrown over his thigh, and kissed his chest.

“Good morning,” he whispered, his lips pressed to the top of her head.

“Ugh, five more minutes.” She stretched against him before curling up again.

They had been up late, talking, drinking, betting. Despite Kevin’s protests they all went out and tossed a ball around in the rain.

“Ok-” Matt started to agree but a loud clatter had them both shooting up in their bed.

They exchanged looks and paused, waiting to see if a fight would break out. They heard Allison give a shout and Dan was out of bed in a split second, pulling on shorts and a tank top.

She ran downstairs accompanied by a few other bedraggled Foxes. Neil was the first to reach Allison since his and Andrew’s room was on the first floor.

“What’s going on?” Dan crouched next to Allison who had sunk to the floor and pulled her legs up to her chest.

“That fucking asshole motherfucking cunt,” she seethed through her teeth. She was glaring at the pieces of her cellphone across the room. She was yelling and angry but Dan could see how she held back her tears. “Fuck him!”

“Allison,” Renee said from the stairs. “What happened?”

Allison turned to look at the others behind her. “He fucked a Vixen.” She fixed Katelyn with an accusatory stare and Aaron grabbed his girlfriend’s hand defensively.

“Who did?”

“My good for nothing virgin ex-boyfriend. Ha!” Allison’s laugh was humorless. “Ex-virgin ex-boyfriend, if he really was one. There’s a video and everything.”

Kevin emerged from the bathroom, hair wet.

“Get your laptop,” Allison told him.

“Why?” Kevin asked, dully.

“Because I fucking said so!”

His expression went from bored to angry but before he could say anything, Dan said tiredly, “Just do it, Kevin.”

Dan insisted they do whatever Allison wanted for the rest of the day which mostly meant sitting on couches and piles of blankets, drinking. Whenever Allison sent him a pointed look, Neil took a sip of his drink.

Soon enough even Neil was feeling warm and light. It was only one in the afternoon.

They spent the first hour listening to Allison talk shit about her stupidly tall basketball playing ex boyfriend. The conversation slowly moved on to worst breakups - personal and in the celebrity world.

Nicky pulled up a list on his phone and the Foxes made bets as to which breakup was number one. They were all wrong.

“Number one,” Nicky read aloud. “Kevin Day and Riko - uh.”

The group fell silent. Finally Jean said, “Go on. Finish the article.”

Nicky looked stunned but obliged when Kevin said nothing. “They may not have been an actual couple, though some fans dispute this claim - but many will agree the breakup of the sons of Exy was a horrible one. Inseparable from the time that Kevin was adopted by Riko’s uncle and cofounder of Exy, there was mass hysteria among Exy fans when it was discovered that not only did Kevin break his hand but also that he would be leaving the Raven’s for the last-ranked Foxes. Kevin only continued to add to the confusion over a year later when he implied something else had happened to his hand that conflicted with the original statement offered by the Ravens.”

“Stop,” Neil said. “We all know what happened. This is just some stupid recap.”

“I need another drink,” Matt said.

“Nicky, what was that drink you made yesterday?” Dan asked.

Nicky got up, only a little wobbly. “Aaron has dust, right?”

Aaron reached into his pocket and pulled out some packets.

“When did you get that?” Neil questioned.

He shrugged and handed them to Nicky. Andrew got up and went outside to smoke.

“Neil?” Renee offered a packet to him but he shook his head. She gave them to Kevin instead.

Nicky returned fifteen minutes later, using a circular pan as a tray. “I made one for everyone!”

The bright blue drinks got passed around as Dan enthusiastically insisted, “You have to try it! It’s the best drink ever.”

A glass was shoved into Neil’s hand as he stared toward the porch at Andrew. Allison wrapped an arm around Neil’s neck and hoisted her glass toward the center of their deformed circle.

“Fuck cheaters!”

The others echoed her toast and sipped their drinks. Neil grimaced a bit but took another sip. Even he had to admit it tasted better than most alcoholic beverages.

He accepted the shot Allison messily poured for everyone and toasted the “lying bastard” before tipping his shot back like the others. He hadn’t finished Nicky’s first drink but another was passed to him anyway - pink and glittery.

“Why is it sparkling?” he asked, his tongue starting to feel heavy in his mouth.

“Edible glitter!” Nicky yelled over the music that had been turned up once Allison started pouring shots. “It makes everything better!”

Neil barely tasted the second drink. The sun was setting outside and the lights were blurry inside.

“Drink!” Allison called from where she was dancing with the other girls. They all obliged.

Neil was three quarters through the glittery pink drink when he felt someone behind him. He startled, trying to blink the haziness from his eyes.

“How much did you drink?”

“Andrew!” Neil twisted around and pulled Andrew’s hands so he could sit next to him. He started to crawl into his lap but paused. “Is it okay if I -?”

Andrew reached around him and picked up a glass. He kept his other hand on Neil’s hip as he took a sip.

He licked his lips and Neil watched, mesmerized. “Dust.”

“What?” Neil sat up quickly.

“You’re all high,” Andrew stated.

Neil’s brain slowly processed that information. “You’re not?”

He was rewarded with an annoyed stare. “You told me no more.”

“Well,” Neil thought, still staring at Andrew’s lips.

“Well, what?” Andrew snapped his fingers and Neil realized he’d been reaching a hand up to touch his lips.

“You should tonight.”

Andrew shook his head.

“An exception,” Neil insisted. His head felt heavy so he leaned it against Andrew’s shoulder, feeling himself go crosseyed trying to keep his gaze on his mouth. “I had some so it’s okay if you do, too.”

“Not tonight.”

“Can I kiss you?” He saw the hesitation. “We won’t do anything else but I want you to kiss me.”

Andrew looked around the room.

“No one cares. They’re all high,” Neil reminded him.

He stood up and Neil pushed his bottom lip out, prepared to pout. Then Andrew helped him stand and he smiled. “Yes?”

“Yes.” Andrew told him and Neil went in too quick. Their teeth clacked and Andrew hissed, forced himself to unclench his tight grip on Neil’s wrists. “Not here.”

“Why not?” Neil knew he sounded pathetic but he couldn’t help himself. He almost never drank and now he was on drugs, too.

“Hey, when’d you come back?” Matt asked on his way to the kitchen.

Andrew stared at Matt’s retreating back as if that was Neil’s answer. It was but Neil’s brain wasn’t working enough for him to comprehend why.

“Kiss me?” Neil said, question mark at the end.

“Not here,” Andrew repeated.

“If we go to our room, I’ll just want you to fuck me,” Neil said, exasperated. He tried to pull himself free but Andrew ended up having to steady him again.

Nicky, Allison and Dan were close enough that they called out obscene support.

Andrew tensed and Neil tried to take a step back. “Never mind. We don’t have to,” Neil slurred and tried to backtrack. “We can just be here. Not touching. I want to kiss you but it’s okay if you don’t want to kiss me. I shouldn’t have - like, I’m high? And drunk? And high? I want you to be okay and if that means -”

A hand shot out and Neil stumbled forward. It took him a moment to react but then he registered Andrew’s hand clutching the front of his shirt and his lips moving against his.

Neil kissed him back, then put a hand between them. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” Andrew growled and grabbed Neil’s hand, bringing it to the back of his head. He turned them so Neil’s back was to the wall, fingers digging into his hips. He nipped at his lip then pulled back just enough to study Neil’s face. “Yes or no?”

Neil blinked his eyes open, confused as to why he wasn’t being kissed anymore.

“Yes or no?”

He realized Andrew needed to be extra sure when Neil was in this state and said, “Yes.”

He loved that Andrew put everything into kissing him, even now - especially now and he moaned. Andrew bit his lip in warning so he tightened his grip in his hair.

Some of the others started wolf whistling and cat calling. Neil didn’t notice until he felt the lack of pressure on his right hip. He opened his eyes and saw Andrew flipping them off. They laughed and Andrew stopped kissing Neil.

“Stop!” Neil nearly whined but caught himself. He tried to remember who he was without the extra stuff running through his veins. He forced an edge into his voice. “You’re ruining everything!”

The others laughed harder, Neil knew he had failed, and Andrew took a step back, forcing Neil to release his grip. Andrew shot the others a cool look before walking toward the porch.

Neil quickly sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest to hide his arousal. “Sometimes I really can’t stand you guys,” he muttered.

“Aw, Neil!”

“Fuck off, Nicky.”

Kevin didn’t know how he found himself alone with Allison but here they were outside in the cold night, both drunk and both recently single. She tipped her head back and finished her drink before saying, “Being cheated on rea-really sucks.”

Any other night Kevin would have just ignored the comment. Tonight he said, “I wouldn’t know. You can’t be cheated on if you’re not allowed to be in a relationship and everybody is fucking everybody.”

“How could he cheat on me?” Allison was still whining and still drinking.

Kevin sipped his drink and said, “You’re annoying as fuck.”

“What?” she tried to glare at him. “I’m fucking hot as fuck, I’m beautiful, I have great boobs and I’m fucking good at fucking. Fuck!”

“Hm,” Kevin shrugged.

Allison stepped closer. “What’s that supposed to mean? Queen Day. You’re the most condescending asshole I’ve ever met and you’ve seen my father! You’re the fakest - stupidest, dumbest person ever. You needed a short little psychotic midget to protect you. You’re incapable of loving anything but Exy and yourself! No wonder Thea dumped you.”

“Thea dumped me,” Kevin was over enunciating to avoid slurring and tripping over his words like Allison. “Because she didn’t like the idea that I was telling the truth when I said Riko had her teammates fu -”

He turned away suddenly. “Fuck you.”

Allison grabbed his arm. “No. Fuck you. I’m amazing.”

Kevin looked at her, an eyebrow cocked. “Ha.”

The next morning Kevin woke up to the sound of Allison puking over the side of her bed. He shot up, ripped the sheet off of her to wrap around his waist and ran downstairs. He ignored stares from the others as he tripped into the bathroom, barely managing to get the toilet lid up before he emptied the contents of his stomach.

Allison appeared a few minutes later, wearing Kevin’s shirt from the night before inside out, sprinting for the other bathroom. Nicky leaned against the doorway to the bathroom by his and Kevin’s room and wrinkled his nose. “What’d you guys do last night? Rob a liquor store?”

Kevin flushed the toilet and kept vomiting.

“Renee gathered the clothes you two discarded on your way up to - ugh,” Nicky shuddered.

Kevin flipped him off and Nicky laughed, closing the door to the bathroom.

Matt, Nicky and Aaron kept driving even when Allison’s and Andrew’s cars pulled off at the first gas station. Allison groaned and said, “I think I’m still drunk.”

Neil went inside and came back out a few minutes later. He stopped by the pink Porsche and Renee rolled Allison’s window down. “Shut up.” Allison commanded even though no one was saying anything.

He handed over a couple of water bottles, something for her headache and a few plastic bags (”just in case”), then got back into Andrew’s car, presumably giving Kevin the same. The passenger door opened and they heard the splash of sick hitting the pavement.

“Ugh,” Allison groaned, holding her stomach. “Get me away from him.”

Renee obediently pulled out of her parking stall and got them on the road again. The drive was a few hours long so they let Allison try to sleep off her hangover. Dan and Katelyn dozed as well as none of them had gotten much sleep the night before.

An hour out from Palmetto Dan’s phone buzzed and she answered it sleepily. “Hello? Hm? Yeah. Tell them -” She got Renee’s attention. “How long?”

“One hour.”

“One hour. Love you. Yeah, I’ll call Neil. Love you.”

Dan selected Neil from her contacts and waited for him to answer. “Just a reminder to dress nicely.”

The freshmen had agreed to shut up about not being invited on their spring break plans if the upperclassmen treated them to an expensive meal when they got back. They stopped at another gas station to change and Andrew’s car pulled in not far behind them.

Kevin and Allison reached the doors at the same time and they stopped to glare at each other before going inside. Renee wrapped her arms around Jean’s waist and sighed. “Think this will be a problem for our team?”

“No,” Jean said honestly. “Kevin would never let anything as trivial as a one night stand with someone he hates get in the way of his game.”

When they arrived at the restaurant the freshmen and Matt’s car were already there. They joined them at a group of tables pushed together. Nicky had made sure to save the end spots for Andrew and Neil.

“You guys look exhausted.”

“That’s because somebody woke us up in the middle of the night and kept us awake for quite awhile,” Dan said without any heat.

“A couple of somebodies,” Nicky smirked.

The freshmen looked around at the others’ faces trying to figure out who they were talking about. Katelyn laughed. “Dan came out of her room because she thought she was going to have to break up a fight.”

“What convinced her it wasn’t?” someone asked.

“She tripped over Allison’s bra,” Katelyn giggled.

“Shut up before I tell everyone what you said about Aaron in bed,” Allison threatened through her teeth.

Aaron shot Allison an annoyed look but he turned and raised his eyebrows at his girlfriend. Katelyn blushed and shook her head.

“I’m sure Allison was only doing it for science,” Dan mused.

“Fucking Kevin was a science experiment?” Nicky’s jaw dropped. He winced. “Don’t kick me, Kevin.”

“What?”

“Kevin and Allison?”

“I thought they were both seeing other people?”

Kevin continued fixing Nicky with a loathsome stare. When someone brought up cheating Allison whipped around. “I am not the cheater,” she seethed.

“But how?” Sheena questioned. Everyone looked between Allison and Kevin, legitimately confused.

Finally Allison stated, rushed, “Because we were so wasted his face was blurry.”

“Oh, I’m sure you guys knew who you were fucking. Also, we all know it’s not his face that’s hard to handle. The amount of bickering between was enough to know you knew. Never mind the ‘fuck, Kevin, god.’” Nicky mocked.

“Kevin always talks shit,” Jean offered, maybe thinking he was helping by offering a fact that negated Nicky’s statement that the bickering is what gave them away.

“Not surprised,” someone said.

Nicky looked at Allison. “So really, how the fuck did that end up happening?”

“Have none of you ever been cheated on?” Allison demanded. “You choose the best looking guy around and fuck him.”

“But you and Kevin?”

Allison groaned. “God, Nicky. We were wasted and both recently dumped. That’s enough. End of story. It won’t ever happen again. Mind your own fucking business, you creep.”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Nicky conceded. “Just one more question though because I mean damn! I thought I was loud but, could you be any louder?”

#aftg #tfc #andreil #kevin x allison #FUCK i'm so sick of looking at this #parts may be a tiny little bit ooc #i was tired when i tried to finish this #so it might not make sense #i feel . like it is a little incomplete #i'M SORRY #i should read through this once more #BUT I'M NOT GONNA #I DONT CARE ANYMORE

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