#yeah again these are all just reuploads but i still like them

[imflyingfish]

I recently saved an old creative world from my laptop and put it on my newer pc ^_^ was able to get some shader screenshots from it which is very cool

[jamminvroomvroom]

ruined.

LN x fem!reader - 4k celebration

based on this request!

in which, why wouldn’t they fall in love?

back with another celebration request! thank u anon, love this one sm! so tempted to make something longer form outta this one omg... lemme know what you think of this, hugs hugs hugs

i had to reupload this! sorry if you already interacted :(

songs to set the mood: let’s fall in love for the night by finneas, you are in love by taylor swift, sofia by clairo, till forever falls apart by ashe and finneas

warnings: 18+!! minors go away dni!! smut, fluff, swearing, alcohol consumption, voyeurism? kinda? friends to lovers, mutual pining

3.4k words

“i bring gifts!” you call out, throwing the keys on the side. you shuffle your feet against the doormat, awkwardly balancing the bottle of wine you hold in one hand and the box of pizza in the other. it doesn’t help that you feel like the michelin man, bundled up in a jacket and a scarf. you kick off your boots, leaving them haphazardly in the hallway.

“in the kitchen.” lando shouts back, and you trudge towards the sound of his voice, sliding around in your fluffy socks.

“i hate all of those stupid little cars that everyone in monaco seems to drive.” you tut, sliding the pizza box across the counter, the bottle of wine clinking against the granite.

“even my jolly?” lando pouts. he’s waiting with two wine glasses, even though you’ll drink most of the merlot while he scrunches his nose up in distaste, but this is routine, standard procedure.

“i do miss the jolly, to be fair.” you give him that much, grinning playfully.

five minutes later, your coat and scarf are long forgotten, slung over one of the high chairs that line his breakfast bar. you’re in the living room, sprawled on one end of the couch, him on the other. your feet rest in his lap and the pizza box rests across your knees. some series you’ve been trying to watch for weeks is playing on netflix, but you aren’t really paying much attention.

“so, you’re telling me,” you pause to take another bite of pizza, swallowing between giggles, “you’re telling me that you heard oscar through the wall?” you choke.

“yeah, i’m telling you! little oscar is definitely not… little, from what i heard.” he cackles. “and then afterwards, bless them, they were all dishevelled and he would not make eye contact with me.” lando explains, both of you a mess of giggles.

“oscar piastri, what a minx.” you shake your head in disbelief.

“as if that’s what i needed, by the way! the dry spell was not helped by whatever him and lily were getting at.”

“dry spell? you? don’t lie to me, norris.” you kick him gently.

“what? i’m serious! start of the season has been so busy, haven’t had time to… get busy.” he wiggles his eyebrows and you roll your eyes.

“welcome to my world, you prick.” you tease, kicking him again. you catch his ribs as you do, knowing full well you’ve hit the prime tickle spot.

“what’s your excuse?”

“excuse you, i’m a busy gal! we can’t all be famous jet-setting f1 drivers.” you feign offence, and he grins toothily.

“i meant,” he starts, speaking slowly as if you’re stupid, and for a third time, you kick him, a tad harder than the last two times. “you’re a catch, how are you not getting laid?”

you pray he can’t see the way you’ve gone pink.

truthfully, he’s the damn reason. how can any man live up to the one and only lando norris? how can anyone compare to your best friend? world famous, beautiful, down right hilarious, beautiful!

lando’s the guy that picks up the pieces every time some loser breaks your heart. he’s the guy who’s key you keep on your overflowing keychain, the guy who buys duplicates of the skincare products you use, so you can keep them at his place - you still laugh every time you remember the first time he tried to pronounce salicylic acid. he’s basically your guy, but after 10 years of friendship, you’re not willing to tell him that.

“just… not.” you shrug, tucking your hair behind your ear. he hums in response, sounds like he doesn’t believe you, but he drops it.

you sink three glasses of red, the pizza box is on the floor, and your eyes are drooping, heavy.

“bedtime for you, methinks.” lando whispers, gently shifting your feet from his lap. you frown, missing his touch already. you make grabby hands at him, too comfy to move on your own. “want me to carry you?” you nod lazily, a smile stretching across your face.

he slides one hand under your legs, the other under your back, and hoists you up. he holds you close to his chest, your head resting against his heart, so close that you can hear the soft thrum that keeps him warm.

“thank you.” you murmur as he places you softly on your- his guest bed.

“anytime, honey.” he smiles down at you. he thinks you’re so pretty like this, so sleepy and cosy. he fights the demons that tell him to crawl into the empty space beside you. “there’s some water here, sleep well, love.” he walks away, reaching the door when:

“love you.” you coo. he shivers. you always say it, and he always says it back, but lately, it pains him.

“yeah. love you too.”

lando pulls the door to quietly, leaning against the wood for a moment trying to compose himself.

-

it’s been an hour, and you’re sobered up, wide awake in the dark.

you try to fall asleep, really, you do, but your mind is moving a thousands miles an hour, and all you can think about is his dry spell. your dry spell.

how can you sleep when you know he’s on the other side of the wall, as needy as you are for a warm body. you also know that you’ve soaked through your underwear. you’re wildly uncomfortable, restless, desperate for a sweet release, whether that be of sleep, or something else.

you can’t ask him, it would be a step too far, despite how torturously close you already are. so instead, you drive yourself insane with the thought of him; the image of him, head thrown back, slick and sweaty, cock hard in his hand.

what’s the harm in helping yourself out?

you’re throbbing, hot all over. you lose the war with yourself and your hand trails shamelessly down your body. you’re so sensitive that you’re instantly stifling moans, hand slapped over your mouth. you can’t get the earlier image out of your head, and you pray he’s on the other side of the wall thinking about you. you’re desperate, bucking your hips into your hand, aching for a release. you wish your hands were lando’s, big and rough, toying with every quivering part of you.

you have an idea, a twisted one, the kind that almost sends you over the edge. what would happen if you let yourself be as loud as you wanted, if you tore your hand away and cried out like you wanted to? every shred of rationality leaves your needy body.

you’re whining, clear as day. your resist calling out his name as your high builds, tweaking your clit between your fingers. you’re so dangerously close, hovering right on the edge. that’s when you hear it.

on the other side of the wall, your vision of lando has become a reality. your faint whines through the wall have him rock hard, fucking his own hand. he wishes it could be yours, and with the way you’re crying out, he doesn’t think you’d oblige to sitting on his lap, wet and pretty, and letting him sink his cock nice and deep.

but he can’t cross that line. not with you. it doesn’t matter how badly he wants you, how he’d go to the ends of the earth for you. one night wasn’t worth ten years of friendship, washed down the drain.

his hand speeds up, his head thrown back, at the same time as you slip two fingers inside of yourself. you fingers curl, hitting deep when you hear a throaty groan sounding from the other side of the wall.

you’d think a millionaire would have thicker walls.

he hears the exact moment you cum, a noticeable change in your sounds. they’ve gone up an octave, breathless, and before he can even register, he’s spurting thick white ribbons that land hotly on his skin.

you clean yourselves up, rooms apart but the same exact things running through your minds.

i just got off to the sound of my best friend.

-

you nibble the crusts of your toast. the kitchen is quiet, painfully so, and the air is still.

lando has his back to you, making you another cup of coffee. he’s forgone a shirt and you try your absolute best to ignore the warm glow of his skin. he looks radiant. you know why; orgasms can do that.

“lando-“

“we don’t need to talk about it, honey.”

“um, i was just gonna tell you that you’re burning your toast.” you snicker.

“oh, fuck.” he slides along the floor to the toaster, burning his fingers on blackened bread.

when he turns to you, he’s tinged red, grinning bashfully.

“moving on.”

“i need to get home but dinner later? i won’t stay the night.” you wink. you crave the normalcy that once was, the light, teasing nature of your friendship.

“i’ll cook.” he’s still blushing.

“ooh, on second thought.” you suck air through your teeth, pulling a face.

“get outta here.” he sticks his tongue out at you.

-

dinner was… well, it was edible.

he made spaghetti and some kind of sauce, one that you couldn’t quite work out the contents of but it was good enough.

“thanks, lan.” you smile softly, helping him clear the few plates off the table.

“anytime, honey.” he replies.

you’re standing at the sink, placing the cutlery down when you feel him behind you. you spin around, instantly regretting it, because you’re caged in. he’s leaning up to reach into a cupboard, frozen. so, so close. his panicked breath fans your face and you can feel the heat of his body.

you lean in, because why wouldn’t you? and so does he, so, so close. your hand that rests on the edge of the sinks moves so that you can reach out and cup his disgustingly perfect face but then-

a knife that had been hovering between the counter and plunging into the soapy hot water gets nudged over the edge by your clumsy hand and clatters against into the bowl.

the irritating noise springs you both back to reality and he jumps away like an orange cat. you grimace at the awkward tension, and he scratches the back of his neck. and then you’re laughing, hard, and of course he joins in because this situation is utterly ridiculous and your laugh is so beautifully contagious.

“oh my god, what is wrong with us?” you wheeze through the laughter, leaning back against the counter.

“last night was… insane. and now everything feels weird so, let’s just go back to basics.” lando smiles gracefully. you nod.

“that sounds absolutely perfect.”

“netflix?”

“and chill?” you chime in sarcastically. he glares at you. “couldn’t help it.” you hold your hands up in faux surrender.

-

you don’t know when you fall asleep, but you conk out, head lulling against his shoulder when you do.

he haunts your dreams, fingers thick between your thighs while you whimper his name. you must be out of it, so deep in your slumber that it takes lando a good few coos of your name to draw you out of it.

when your eyes shoot open, he’s looking down at you, a single curl falling over his forehead, taunting you.

“you dreaming of me?” he grins, something in his eyes that snaps you out of your grogginess.

“wh-why?” you splutter, sitting up. he’s still so close to you, coy smile pulling at the corners of his pink lips,

“kept making these little sounds, panting my name. got me thinking.”

“about what?” you whisper.

“how much i wanted to pin you to that bed last night and make you cry for me.”

“is this gonna ruin us?” your voice trembles with a unique blend of fear and anticipation.

“after last night? baby, we’re already ruined.”

his lips meet yours, tentative for just a brief second, and then it’s passionate, warm, lightning. his hands are firm on your body, pulling you impossibly closer until there’s no other option but to clamber into his lap. your hands find his hair, tugging wildly until his curls are a disheveled mess, pulled every which way.

“you’re so beautiful. want to tell you all the time but-“ lando mumbles into your mouth, urgent and hushed.

“but friends don’t do that.” you cut him off.

he pulls away from you, his nose bumping yours. his eyes are so blue today, sparkly.

“i think we’re more than that.” he mutters, lips brushing yours. “i think we have been for a while.”

“yeah.” you pant. “yeah we have. yeah.” your eyes dart between his and his kiss swollen lips.

and then you’re licking into his mouth, sighing at the relief. he paws at your waist, warm hands sliding under your jumper, gliding over your hips and up, up, up, until he’s dragging the material over you head and tossing it carelessly to the side. he kisses over your collarbone, licking and nipping while his hands smooth over your bra. he plucks at the fasten, and you relax as it snaps open, and the straps slide over your shoulders.

“is this okay, angel?” he whispers.

“perfect.”

his thumbs trace over the curve of your breasts, teasing your nipples gently, enough to send shockwaves through your body. you’re subconsciously grinding down on him, dragging your hips over his crotch, mouth dropping open when you hear the way his breath catches in his throat.

“driving me insane, honey.” he gulps, rolling your nipples between his fingers. “need to get inside of you.”

“hurry up then.” you sound desperate to your ears, delicious to his.

“do you know how hard it was to stay in my room last night? when i could hear you making those pretty little noises? you’re so bad.” he tuts, lifting you off of his lap and laying you back against the couch.

nimble fingers undo your jeans and you jolt as he slides them down your thighs, intimate touches on intimate skin. you lace your fingers through his hair, pulling him down to kiss you, and you moan into his open mouth when his fingers trail beneath your underwear.

lando dips his fingers between your folds, groaning as soon as he feels where your wetness has pooled in your panties. you’re intoxicating, he thinks, and he’s starving for you. he pries his hand from between your legs, lapping at his soaked digits. his eyes fall shut, eyelashes fluttering over his cheeks.

your taste sparks something within him, and he wriggles onto his belly, resting in between your thighs. he toys with your panties, just for a second, and he can’t help but latch on. he laves his tongue over the growing wet patch, eyes fluttering shut. he drags your underwear to the side, lapping over your cunt messily.

“taste so good.” he slurs into your pussy, depraved and ravenous. you buck your hips, the sensation of his words sending rumbles of vibrations to every one of your nerve endings.

you writhe against the plush couch, sinking deeper between the cushions as he fucks his tongue deeper and deeper, burrowing his face as far between your thighs as he can go.

“lando, ‘m so close.” you gasp, tugging hard at his curls, taking your nails across his scalp. he whimpers, whimpers, at the sensation and that’s enough to finish you off.

he keeps going, kitten licking you through your orgasm and you pant, nothing but white behind your squeezed shut eyes. you have you drag him away, overstimulated and twitching against the silvery grey fabric of the sofa.

“fuck.” you laugh, breathless.

“good?” he smirks.

“shut up and come here.” you make grabby hands at him, and he clambers over you, smiling wide, his lips coated shiny and red.

“you’re pretty.” he coos, licking his lips clean.

“so are you.” you whisper.

he collapses on top of you, urgently slotting his lips over yours. he slides his hands all over your frame, memorising every dip and curve, while your hands find the waistband of his joggers. you push the material down his hips gently tracing his hip bone; he shudders at the graze, kicking the fabric away and wrapping his hand around his cock.

you glance down, taking in the sight before you. he’s thick in his own hand, red and slick already, as he runs his hand over himself.

“you want me?” he manages to ask through gritted teeth.

“please.” you whine, reaching to replace his hand, but he bats you away.

“patience, baby. wanted you like this for so long, you can wait a few seconds.” he scolds, condescendingly.

you don’t get a chance to talk back, because he’s sliding inside of you, nice and slow. your eyes roll back at the delectable stretch, he’s bigger than you’ve had in a while, and you hum lowly. he kisses over your throat and you can hear his shaky breath fanning your ear. you’re fluttering around him, adjusting to him with small circles of your hips.

“do something.” you beg, hushed and breathless.

“you think you can take it?” lando taunts, but you can hear the way his voice waivers as your walls spasm around him.

“can you?” you whisper, giving as good as you get. something inside of him snaps and pride kicks in, because before you can even truly gloat, he’s barrelling into you.

you cling onto his shoulders greedily, digging your fingertips in to whatever part of him you can get hold of. he thrusts so deep, all the way in, before dragging fully out, leaving you aching for him to fill you up again. he’s going quick enough that you can’t really complain, but slow enough to tease, to drive you insane beneath him. it feels too good to hurry him up, he knows what he’s doing and you want to take it, feel him like this. you’re quivering, his cock hitting every single spot that makes you tick and you think you can die happy now that you’ve had him.

“i’m so close.” you warn, overstimulated from your first orgasm. he ups his pace, just enough to send you spiralling, and you can’t keep your eyes open as you let go, your legs kicking out.

it’s too much when you open your eyes and find him staring down at you, sleepy and sweaty. he’s gorgeous like this, pupils blown, bronze skin glistening in the low light. he feels the way you throb around him, still buried so deep.

“not done with you yet, angel. c’mere.” lando sits back, pulling your limp body along with him until your right back where you started, sprawled over his lap.

he’s so close to his own release, pained and restless, and you can feel the head rubbing against your clit. even in your state of pure exhaustion, you can’t help but grind down against him, and he lifts your hips enough for you to sink down on him.

your sounds of pleasure ricochet off of one another’s, animalistic contentment spilling from between two sets of equally swollen lips. you’re so full like this, rocking tiredly, backwards and forwards.

“just like that, baby. just like that.” he’s breathing heavily, brows furrowed. his head tips back, neck thick and flexed, and you’re thrown back into the deep end of your fantasy.

“oh my god.” you choke, tears of satisfaction building. “lando!” you cry, meeting his shallow thrusts. he’s guiding your hips up and down, just enough to hammer against that special spot that makes you whine his name.

“cum for me, baby, last one. know you can do it pretty girl.” the praise knocks the last bits of air out of you and you collapse forwards into his arms. he holds you tight, groaning sweet nothings and your name like a prayer, right in your ear.

“you’re definitely staying tonight.” lando laughs softly, coming down. you think back to your earlier refusal, grinning lazily.

“guest room?” you joke, kissing his shoulder.

he pulls you back so that he can look at you, cupping your face.

“you’re never staying in that room ever again.”

he kisses you, then. soft. warm. home.

it’s natural, everything you’ve been missing, and somehow the only thing you’ve been missing in your relationship with him. he already gave you everything you could ever need, tonight was the cherry on top.

“are we gonna be okay?” you whisper, so quiet that you can barely hear yourself. fear pools in your belly.

“i hope so. ‘cause i’m never letting you go now.”

-

i feel so warm inside hehe

-

taglist

@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789 @ln4norizz @formulaal

lemme know if you wanna be added or removed :)

[moonywritez6]

Kinktober Day 1 Praise Kink (Reupload)

Character: Sebastian (Stardew Valley)

Reader: Fem Reader!

Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, Praise kink, smut, pet names, unprotected sex, harsh language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cigarettes,

Wc: 4,795

A/n: Hello my sweets! Unfortunately, I got locked out of my old blog account, so I had to make a new one! So, chances of you having seen this before are high as it's on my old account! (I am so sad about it honestly). But I am going through all my old accounts posts and reuploading them here! I hope you can still enjoy my works!

______________________________________________________________

"If you keep glaring like that, you'll get wrinkles." You scoffed, bringing your drink to your lips as you glanced at your friend Leah, who happily munched on a salad, giving you a playful grin as she pointed her fork in the direction your eyes had been staring daggers at just seconds ago. At the other end of the Stardrop Saloon stood your recent ex-boyfriend Sam and his usual gang, except this time there was someone new with them. Your eyes took in the sight of your ex's arm tightly wrapped around Penny's shoulders as he went and kissed the top of her head, causing your heart to ache as you slightly cringe at the sight. "He's such a dick, right?" Leah questioned, tilting her head towards Gus, who silently cleaned one of his glasses. Gus opened his eyes, glancing from the two girls over to the group of young adults whose laughs echoed throughout his salon.

"Would you like another drink, Y/n? on the house?" He questioned, getting ready to give the farmer another cup. You took one last look at the new couple before letting out a deep sigh while pinching the bridge of your nose, feeling a slight headache approaching. "No, I think I should start heading back home. I have to wake up early to help Pierre with some new sales ideas he has." The two let out small sympathetic 'ahs' at your words while giving nods of understanding. You carefully rummage through your jeans, pulling out what you owe and slapping it on the counter as you wave goodbye to everyone who acknowledged your exit. You carefully swing the door open, closing your eyes as the night breeze hits your slightly flushed cheeks, letting out a contempt sigh as you lean against the Saloon, staring up into the night sky. 

'Come on Y/n it's been like two months now, get over it.' You thought, annoyed with your feelings. 'Maybe I should try dating again? I am pretty busy, though, with Winter coming in just a few months.' Letting out another deep sigh, you kick yourself off the wall, shoving your hands in your jeans pockets as you turn to return to the farm. Before you could even take the first step back, the doors to the Saloon opened as a familiar figure stepped out in front of you, causing you to stop all movement. "Oh, you're still here, Y/n?" Sebastian questioned, a cigarette between his lips as he looked down at you, slightly surprised to see your form next to him. You took a small step back as your body shifted, showing discomfort at the man's sudden appearance. Sebastian didn't say anything as he eyed you silently while lighting his cigarette. 

"Uh…hey, yeah, I was just about to head back." You mumbled, unable to make eye contact with your ex's best friend. Sebastian hummed his eyes, boring holes into your unaware figure as he let out a puff of smoke while carefully leaning against the Saloon. "Is that right? You want to keep me company for a bit?" His words catch you by surprise as you look up at his mouth, slightly open in awe. Sebastian gives you a barely noticeable smirk, amused with your reaction, as he raises a brow, tilting his head down to get a better look at you. "What? Just cause you and Sam are no longer together doesn't mean I have to stop talking to you, does it?" He scoffed, eyes narrowing as he clicked his tongue. You grew nervous with that as you quickly waved your hands out while stuttering over your words as you tried to devise excuses. 

"T-that's not! I- well, it's just you guys are so close and…um…I… I'm sorry." You admit defeat as you bend over from guilt. Sebastian just let out a small chuckle while ruffling your head as he let out another cloud of smoke. "Good to see you haven't changed since we last talked." He mumbled while motioning for you to join him against the wall. After a moment of hesitation, you decide to entertain your old friend, having not talked to anyone besides Leah since the breakup. "You're right…I haven't changed at all." You admitted while looking down at the ground, tapping your feet together. Sebastian's eyes narrow as he takes in your pitiful form, his chest tightening with disgust as he recalls how you used to smile whenever he saw you with Sam. An awkward silence falls between you, neither knowing what to say to the other after having not spoken in two months. 

"Did you see Sam and Penny?" Finally, Sebastian addresses the two people filling your vision the entire night. He doesn't take your eyes off your form, watching you stiffen at the mention of his best friend and new girlfriend. He hesitates momentarily, debating whether he should hit you with the harsh reality of their situation or leave you to your deluded thoughts. "... They're dating now." He finally starts watching as your body trembles, causing his jaw to clench as he feels a bit of rage cloud his vision, not liking the effect his best friend still had on you. Sebastian bites his lip before going to continue with his words. "They've been dating since-!" His words cut off, eyes widening in shock as he feels your petite, but rough hands press against his mouth as you stand on your tiptoes, your body trembling. 

"Please… don't continue, I u-understand." Your voice sounded so pathetic and broken to the programmer as he listened to the minor hiccups that left your lips. "Hey, are you crying?" He mumbles carefully, going and caressing your cheek, feeling like his heart was stabbed with a pickaxe when he handles your damp skin under his fingers. Sebastian had only ever seen you cry once during the after-party of one of their band's gigs. Everyone was out cold from partying too hard, but Sebastian had woken up to use the bathroom, his head swirling from the alcohol as he staggered towards the bathroom. When he reaches out to grab the doorknob, he is shocked to see it swing open, his sleepy and intoxicated eyes locking with your surprised, tear-filled ones. "...Sam broke up with me." After staring at each other for an eternity, you whispered to Sebastian. 

Scowling at the memory, Sebastian cups both sides of your face, carefully rubbing his thumbs in circles across the bags under your eyes, most likely due to the lack of sleep you have suffered since the breakup. "Hey…hey shhh. Don't cry, Y/n, oh come on, princess, look at me." He cooed, his face inches from yours as he made eye contact with you. "Oh Y/n, you poor thing…geez, why didn't you come to me if you were suffering so much?" You couldn't say anything to the man before you as you cried, feeling your throat ache with each pathetic sob. You look up at Sebastian, his eyes no longer holding that annoyed and lazy look this time; they're much softer and filled with love and compassion as he gives you a small smile. "I-I'm sorry, Sebastian, I don't mean to," He cuts you off, pulling you into a tight embrace as he carefully rubs circles along your back. 

"Shhh, don't apologize, Y/n." He whispered, nuzzling his chin against the top of your head as he took in your scent, his heart racing as he gave your body a small squeeze of reassurance. "Just cry it out for me, okay?" He asked, a small smile ghosting his lips as he felt your body starting to relax. "There we go, that's a good girl." As the words left his lips, you heard the door to the Saloon open, causing whoever just left to hear everything. You go to pull away from Sebastian's comforting embrace, not wanting to have people get the wrong idea. However, his grip suddenly tightens as he rests a hand on your head, pressing your face further into his chest. "Y/n? Sebastian?" Your eyes widened at the familiar voice, your body stiffening as your heartbeat against your ribs. Sebastian rubs circles on your lower back once again as he lets out a lazy hum while looking over at his best friend and Penny standing just inches away from the two of you. 

"Oh hey…you two going home for the night?" He asked with a bored tone, utterly different from the gentle, caring one he had with you moments ago. Your mind starts to wander off as you think back to his words from earlier, finally processing. 'Princess? Good girl?' You thought your cheeks were quickly heating up as steam practically danced from your head, heart pounding as embarrassment overcame you. 'W-what the hell was with that?! A-and this current situation…oh no, Sam's going to get the wrong idea-!' Your rapid thoughts are put to a dead halt as you feel Sebastian's hand suddenly slide down to your ass, his palm gently rubbing circles along the squishy flesh before giving it a slight squeeze causing you to jump as you hid deeper into his chest. "Y/n? Are you okay?" You heard Sam question with that sickening sweet tone he would use when you used to date, indicating he was worried for you. 

"She's fine, just had a bit too much to drink tonight, right, Y/n?" You felt Sebastian dip his head close to your ear, his warm breath hitting your already flushed skin as he quietly whispered his following words. "Right, sweet girl? Be a good girl for me, and nod your head so he can beat it." He growled the last part as his grip on your ass tightened, causing a small whimper to leave your lips while the man chuckled. You do as told while slightly peaking past Sebastian's arms, your eyes still teary from your minor breakdown moments ago. "Y-yeah, Sebastian's right." This earned you a small reward as you felt his thumb carefully rub circles along your hip. You said nothing after that, internally praying for the two to leave so you could hurry up and return to the farm. Your thoughts soon drifted as you inhaled the smell of Sebastian's hoodie; he smelled of cigarettes and motor oil, hinting that he must have been working on his bike at some point today. You felt your mind get fuzzy as you nuzzled closer to him, causing the man to stiffen as his arms squeezed around you, resting his chin on your head again. 

Sam stood there momentarily before nodding, a nervous smile crossed his face. "Ah, I see! I was just about to walk Penny home. Do you want me to take Y/n back to the farm for you?" Sam asked, his eyes only leaving your form to glance at his best friend for a second. "Nah, I'm going to take her back home. You worry about getting your girl home." Sebastian laughed, though you felt his annoyance as he tapped a finger against your skin. Sam hesitated momentarily before complying when he felt Penny tug on his sleeve. With a slight frown, Sam nods his head while giving you both one last look. "Right…get home safe then." The two walked off, leaving you and Sebastian alone outside the Saloon. You listened as he let out a deep sigh, his entire body seeming to relax as he carefully rubbed his hand up and down your back while letting out a small laugh. "Finally, I thought he'd never leave." he joked, arms still holding you close. You felt yourself growing hot as you carefully tried to pull away. 

"U-um, Sebastian, I should get home now." You whispered, avoiding looking up at him. Sebastian hummed, tilting his head to look down at you, his eyes narrowing as a lazy smirk tugged at his lips. "Oh, that's right, I have to get my good girl home~" He cooed, causing your eyes to widen as you looked up at him in shock, your mouth open to shout who knows what at him. Still, he was ready for this as he went and pressed his lips to yours, one hand carefully capturing your chin between his thumb and index finger as he tilted your head up to deepen the kiss. At first, your body is stiff from shock, your mind trying to process how all this was happening as your wide eyes stared straight into Sebastian's narrowed eyes. He smirked against the kiss as he pressed your body closer, his free hand trailing up and down your side, causing your body to relax as you slowly gave in to the feeling. 

The two of you slowly pull away from the kiss, a small string of saliva still attaching your lips as he presses his forehead against yours, his hand carefully caressing your cheek. "Are you lonely, baby?" He whispers, brushing his lips against yours, his eyes filled with desire as he slides his thumb down your lower lip, watching the plump skin tug with his digit, causing him to lick his lips. "Do you want me to take care of you, sweet girl? I can fix that lonely feeling, Y/n." His words cause you to shiver as a small whimper leaves your lips, tears filling your eyes as you feel your chest swell with joy at his praise, your ears wanting to hear more of it. "Come on baby…tell me what you want like a good girl." He kisses along your jaw as his hands ravish over your squirming body, eagerly awaiting your response. You bite your lip as you try to think of the consequences if you take the man in front of you home. You look up at him with a slight pout on your lips as he gives you a lazy smirk; however, his eyes hold nothing, but admiration mixed with lust as he stops, his hands gripping your hips with one last squeeze. "What's wrong, princess?" He whispered, feeling your hands grip at his hoodie. 

"Sebastian I…I want you to take me home." 

_______

As soon as the door to your house shut, Sebastian was all over you. His hands roamed around your body as he slid them up your shirt, kneading at your encaged breasts as he breathed a deep sigh into your ear. "S-sebastian, wait! We just walked in!" You cried, trying to push him away but failing as he went and pressed your front against the wooden floor, grinding against your ass as he leaned over you, licking the shell of your ear. "I'm sorry, princess, but I can't wait anymore. You're just too fucking cute." He growled, his hands making quick work of your shirt as he unclipped your bra, watching your breasts bounce with each grind of his hips. "So, fucking perfect princess." He whispers, going to pinch at your hardened nipples, earning a slight squeal out of you as your hips move back against his, causing him to bite his lip at the sudden friction. 

"Fuck do you like that Y/n? Does my sweet baby girl have sensitive nipples? Do you like me playing with them between my fingers like this?" He laughs as he gives a rough pinch to them, causing your back to arch as a low moan escapes your lips. "Y/n, do you want to know a secret?" He whispers while flipping you onto your back, making sure to grab each of your legs as he wraps them around his waist, pressing the bulge in his pants against your clothed pussy, a slight blush on his cheeks as he looks down at you with a lustful gaze. "I've always wanted you. From the moment you moved here, I wanted to make you such a good girl who I could spoil." He admitted while sinking to leave kisses from your neck towards your chest as he carefully started sucking on one breast, an intense shiver running through his body as he listened to your moans, feeling you squirm underneath him. 

"Sam didn't deserve to have you princess." He moans his teeth, lightly biting the sensitive bud, causing you to let out a small cry, bucking your hips up to meet his own, causing him to chuckle as he pulls away from your breast with a small pop before sitting up straight. "Such a good girl~" He purrs while slowly pulling down your jeans, his lips trailing kisses down your thigh to your ankle as he lets out a small gasp, his eyes locking with the wet spot soaking through your panties, just begging for him to lick it all up. "Such a good girl, Y/n…" He whispers while sinking his head between your thighs, pressing a small kiss against the slick-coated fabric, causing your pussy to twitch as you watch him with hooded eyes, small pants of anticipation leaving your lips. "How long has it been, princess?" He whispers before dragging his tongue up and down the fabric slowly and tormentingly. "When was the last time someone made this pretty pussy of yours feel so good?" he growled while tearing the material out of the way, his tongue invading every inch of your dripping hole. 

Your eyes shoot open as you slap a hand over your mouth, a deep groan leaving your lips at the sudden pleasure jolting throughout your body as your muscles tense up. "F-fuuuuuuck." You cry, a hand reaching out to grab at his dark locks. He grabs your wrist, stopping your movement with a slight chuckle as he pulls away from your pussy. Your juices make his mouth messy as he slowly licks his lips, shaking his head. "Uh uh~ answer my question, princess…when was the last time a guy was inside you?" He leans over your body, lips inches from yours, slowly slips a finger past your folds, rubbing teasing circles around your clenching hole. You whine from the act while wiggling your hips, wanting to feel the digit deep inside you. "Come on, baby~ Just answer my question, and I'll reward you like the good girl you are." He teased, eyes clouded with lust as he tugged at his pants with his free hand, letting out a small groan from being so pent up. 

You look at him with a slight pout as he bites his lip, almost reaching his breaking point from how adorable you looked underneath him. "S-since Sam and I dated…I haven't fucked anyone else, so please…mmh…please make me feel good, Sebby~" You made sure to drag out the little nickname hoping it would give you some reaction, and boy, were you right. Sebastian clenched his teeth together, eyes narrowing as they clouded with pure desire as he licked his lips. "Since Sam, huh?" He asks a hum towards the end. Your eyes widen as your mouth forms an o when you feel his rough and lengthy finger sink deep inside you, causing your back to arch as you grip his biceps, watching his eyes travel down to his hand. "Then my poor baby hasn't been satisfied in so long…" he whispers before sliding another finger inside your needy hole, watching as his fingers go in and out each time, coated in a new layer of your beautiful juices.   

"You're doing such a good job baby, oh such a good fucking job." he moans, watching as your body squirmed underneath him while feeling you needily clenching around his fingers, causing his cock to twitch in his pants as he growls, biting into the crook of your neck. "Princess, look at me, sweetheart." He breathes while carefully adjusting your gaze onto him. "Did you know he used to brag about you all the time?" He confessed, eyes locking with your clouded ones as he slowly freed himself from his pants, a slight hiss leaving his lips as his cock sprang against his chest. "He used to tell me all the time how sexy you were…" You feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as you hear the man fingering you talk about how your ex used to praise you to others, finding yourself disgusting for getting aroused.

"He was right but failed to mention how cute you are. Such a cute and obedient pussy~" He sang, a cocky smile on his face as he watched your body shiver underneath him, watching your eyes tear up as your pussy clenched around his fingers, indicating that you had found your release. Sebastian whispers sweetly into your ear as he slows down his fingers, still pumping them through your orgasm. "That's it, princess…such a good girl for me~" he praised while placing kisses all over your cheek as you frowned, trying to get the words to leave your mouth between heavy breaths. "I-i'm not… I'm disgusting." You whimpered, allowing your inner thoughts to come out. Sebastian frowned at this as he went and pulled your legs over his shoulders, causing you to squeak as he removed your limp body closer to him. "W-what are you doing?" You cried, still trying to come down from your orgasm as you pushed at his abdomen. 

Sebastian says nothing as he slowly slides his tip along your wet folds, watching the juices mix with his precum. "He's tried to ruin you…" he mumbles while positioning himself against your throbbing hole, his eyes slowly locking with yours as he grits his teeth. "Be a good girl for me, okay princess? You'll be my pretty little slut and take it all, right?" He smiles at his words while capturing your lips in a deep passionate kiss before sliding his cock into your tight hole, causing you to whimper and whine at the sudden intrusion, a few tears escaping from your eyes. Sebastian groans, his rough hands sliding up and down your hips reassuringly before pulling away his brows knit together as he kisses the corner of your lips. "So good, Y/n…such a good girl for me, princess." He mumbled, slowly moving his hips as he watched each pleasurable expression cross your face at the feeling of him inside you. 

"S-sebbyyyy," You whined, wrapping your arms around his neck while needily placing sloppy kisses along his neck, causing him to laugh in adoration, loving how cute you were being for him. "What is it, princess? What does my sweet girl want me to do?" He happily lends you his ear, so happy to hear you moaning out his name like you did so many times in his fantasies when he sat at home jerking himself off in the basement. You look up at him, lips swollen from him kissing you so aggressively, cheeks flushed as a bit of drool slipped from the corner of your mouth. "Please move! I wanna feel good!" You whined desperately, causing a soft and caring smile to appear on his face. "As you wish, princess." He whispered before pulling away from you, legs still tossed over his shoulders as his grip on your hips tightened. 

You gasped and moaned as his thrusts became more aggressive, the feeling of his cock rubbing against your squishy walls filling your mind as you tossed your head back, your loud and pitiful moans echoing throughout the quiet and dark house. Sebastian looks down at you, a slight blush on his cheeks, his breathing heavy as he watches your fucked out expression, his cock twitching inside you as he brings one of his hands to your chest, giving a squeeze as he desperately tries to thrust as deep as he could inside you. "Smile for me, baby~ ah, come on smile! Fuck show me that pretty smile, baby~" He whined, watching as you brought your head to face him, your expression causing him to swallow back a loud moan as he felt himself about to cum at just the sight. You looked up at him; the moonlight barely lit the area, showing your eyes shining from the tears of pleasure that had dampened your soft skin. Your cheeks were so flushed as drool slid down your chin when your lips tugged up into a fucked-out smile as you reached your arms up to cup his face. 

Sebastian looked down at you with wide eyes, his mouth open in awe as he felt his chest swell with nothing but love for the farm girl. "Sebby~ Am I a good girl? I did as told please tell me I'm a good girl!" You whined, feeling his cock hit that one spot you needed as you reached your second orgasm causing your tongue to stick out at him, his eyes turning feral. "Fuck princess…yeah, you're such a good fucking girl, alright baby." He suddenly pulls out, causing you to let out a needy whine, having not had enough of his cock inside you just yet. "Whose dick do you like more princess? Mine or Sam's?" He suddenly questions before slamming his entire length back inside your sensitive pussy, ignoring that you had just released for the second time that night. 

"It's mine right princess?" He growls, watching your tits bounce up and down at his faster pace. You can't say anything too fucked out by the intense pleasure you were receiving. Sebastian grunts and groans, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he feels his cock wanting to paint your walls so pretty with his cum. "Come on baby say my dick is better. Come on, say it! Say it, oh god, say it with those pretty lips of yours, Y/n~" He whines, sticking his tongue out as he captures your lips in another sloppy kiss, listening to your lewd juices echoing throughout the house, his mind going crazy. He pulls away from the kiss, watching the strings of saliva fall back onto you, his heartbeat pumping through his ears as he pried your mouth open with two fingers. 

 "Say it for me, princess, and I'll give you such a good reward~ Just say it, baby. Come on, be my good, naughty girl~" He whined, desperate for you to say the words that would show him you no longer belonged to his best friend and that you were now finally his perfect girl who would do anything to be praised by him. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you start feeling the knot in your stomach for the third time that night. The words barely leave your lips above a whisper, but he can still hear it. "Y-Your dick, Sebbyyyy! Mm, I like your dick more, Sebastian!" A deep growl leaves his throat as he presses his hips right against yours feeling himself ejaculating into your messy pussy, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels your walls clenching around him. You lay there too fucked out of your mind as you felt his cum filling your insides, a happy smile crossing your face as you watched Sebastian unconsciously try to push any cum that leaked out back inside when he pulled out. 

"That's my good girl~ so perfect for me~" He muttered while picking you up bridal style, leaving kisses along your face as he took you to your bed, carefully laying you down as he brushed a few strands of hair from your face. You hummed, tired eyes looking up at him as you leaned into his touch. "I'll grab you some water," he mumbled, giving you another kiss before heading towards the kitchen. As he patiently waited for the glass to fill, he noticed his phone going off, causing him to flip it open and look at the name of the person trying to call him. 

Sam

"Yeah?" Sebastian muttered, holding the phone up to his ear as he stopped the running water, making sure to have a tight grip on the cup, not wanting to break it. "Hey, I was calling to see if you made it home yet! I know you said you were taking Y/n home earlier. Did she get back safe?" Sam's voice laughed from the other end, instantly asking questions. Sebastian enters the room, stopping when he sees your sleeping face pressed against the pillow. He smiles quietly, walking over to you and placing the cup on your nightstand. "Yeah, we returned to her place a while ago." He admitted waiting to see if his best friend caught the fact he said 'we' instead of just you. Sam hesitates for a second, causing a slight smirk on Sebastian's lips as he awaits the blond's following words. 

"Are you still at her place then?' 

Sebastian just hummed as he sat on the edge of your bed, carefully playing with a strand of your hair as he looked down at you, eyes filled with love. 

"Of course, I'd still be at her house. After all, she's my girl now~."

[vxnuslogy]

— lost to time ft. sae itoshi

— warnings: angst, character death, slight ooc?

— author's note: a reupload of my favorite work on sae while i finish editing the next 2 chapters of my hazbin series. enjoy!

— first recording

“hi sae! i heard from rin that you’ll be leaving for spain. i’m really sorry i couldn’t come to see you off, i’ve been busy studying, you know, for exams and stuff. but that’s beside the point! i wish you all the best sae! do your best and when you come back home, you better be the world’s best striker yeah? don’t worry, everything will pass by quickly so don’t miss me too much ok?”

sae hated planes. he hated them quite a lot. in was a constant reminder of that time when he was only 14, leaving home to go to spain to live out his dreams only for it to be crushed 4 years later. sae hated the airport, it was always so busy and so stuffy and so cramped. he hated the feeling of being surrounded by unfamiliar strangers, hated the feeling of people brushing up against him even if they didn’t really mean it. sae hated winter. it was the season he severed his bond with his precious little brother after all. it was the season he turned his back on him and it was the season he had wished to never relive again.

-

— second recording

“hey hey guess who’s sending you another voice message? it’s me obviously, why didn’t you tell me you were back already?! if you did i would’ve picked you up from the airport!

……

is something the matter sae? you haven’t picked up any of your parents’ calls and their really worried about you. you can always talk to me remember? i’ll always be here to listen, ok? don’t bottle everything up, it’ll do more bad than good. well, i have to go now. talk with your parents every once in a while will you? ever since you left for spain you’ve pretty much cut off all contact, even with me. that’s all, good night sae.”

sae didn’t really like flowers. he thought they were a hassle. plants that require specific needs and if not met, they’ll wilt. sae was never fond of them but here he was, standing in front of the counter of a local flower shop as the elderly shopkeeper wrapped a bouquet – filled with carnations, gardenias, lilies, roses, and chrysanthemums. 

everything passes.

— college; third recordings

“i got into my dream college sae! can you believe that! honestly, i was really nervous when i took the entrance exams, but thankfully i studied real hard and managed to pass! i’ll be moving into the dorms soon. i’m gonna miss home. oh and rin! i heard he got into a soccer program recently, isn’t that nice! he’s following your footsteps in becoming the best striker in the world. i know, i know, you aren’t a striker anymore but it’s still nice to know that you’re still into soccer at least. by the way, when will you come back home? i kind of miss you, you know. i never got to see you off and when you did come back i was out of town and really busy. what about we plan a meetup or something in the near future? you know, make up for the times we lost? oh, i have to go now! my parents are helping me move in to my dorm. catch you later sae!”

sae didn’t really like coming home. the house he grew up in for the first 14 years of his life felt too foreign to be called home anymore. his parents felt like distant strangers that he just met a couple weeks ago – they felt more like acquaintances than his mother and father. the photos framed around his home felt like ancient relics from thousands of years ago, he didn’t recognize them. sae didn’t recognize himself. 

maybe he spent too much time in spain to the point where it felt more like home. how ironic, he began to realize. he had flown back to japan to escape from his hell that was spain but here he was, in his home, in the bedroom he used to sleep in for endless nights, wanting to go back to the place that left his heart hollow.

“there’s nothing else i could do.” he tried to convince himself as he sat down on his childhood bed, the bouquet of flowers at his side. he could only sigh and let himself fall back into the bed of his long gone home. “everything passes.”

“hey hey hey it’s me again! how have you been sae? i’d like to think that i’ve adjusted pretty well in college. made a few new friends and met some old ones. honestly, i almost didn’t recognize them! i mean, do you remember makoto from middle school. he was a such a problem child back then and now look at him! he’s a scholar now! i guess everyone just starts to become more mature after hitting 18, who knows. thank you again, for the gift. i was definitely shocked when my roommate told me i had a package from you. i can’t believe you still remember that i wanted ‘no longer human’! thank you, i’ll be sure to treasure it. well, that’s all for today. call you some other time sae!”

everything passes.

-

— drunk recordings; the words i wish i could’ve told you sooner

“how do you work this again? ah got it! hehe, hi again sae! i’m at a party right now, man maybe you were right, i do have shit alcohol tolerance. but it’s fine. don’t worry, i’m already on my way home and the driver isn’t some creepy dude that might kill me.

……

you know, i like you very much but i don’t think you’ll believe me. i know i jokingly said that we should marry each other if we aren’t dating someone if we hit our 30s, but i kinda wanna marry you even if we aren’t 30 yet. is that weird? i really miss you. please come home.”

……

“hello? god that was so embarrassing… sorry, could you just forget about what i said in the last recording? um just, gosh i don’t even know. denying it won’t really help right haha… it’s in the past now so don’t mull over too much ok? please, just disregard that last recording. i’m really sorry, it was just me being drunk.”

sae did not in fact disregard that recording. in fact, sometimes in the dead of night he’d think about it and wonder, if he had replied to that specific recording would things have ended differently? 

sae didn’t like deep and evoking questions about ‘what if’s’, he finds them annoying most of the time. and yet here he was now entertaining the idea. bouquet in hand as he casually walked around the neighborhood that the both of you had grew up in. the same twists and turns, same houses, same playground, same everything.

yet the silence was too loud, even for him.

everything passes.

-

— graduation recordings

“well, i think it’s safe to say i survived. i graduated sae, are you proud? man i still can’t believe i was a few point from getting the valedictorian spot but oh well. alls well that ends well i suppose. i heard you won your recent match congratulations mr best midfielder! kinda wish i was there to see it, but don’t worry! in your next match i’ll definitely save up enough money and buy those tickets to spain and your match one day! just you wait, i’ll be the screaming my lungs out and support you, i’m still your number one fan after all!”

sae had some feelings of dissatisfaction when you did not in fact get those tickets to spain and his match. maybe it was his wishful thinking but he really did wish you were there. but he knew it was impossible. 

he remembered the feeling of anger and frustration running through his veins, cursing the heavens above because he felt the need to show the gods his emotions. sae hated thinking about you in that moment. he hated how he felt like he was in a new version of hell whenever you just happened to cross his mind. sae hated you very much.

everything passes.

-

— recordings from 2 years ago

“i’m sorry. i know you should’ve heard it from me but i guess my family beat me to it haha. to be perfectly honest with you sae, i had no plans of telling you. i’m sorry. its just, the thought of breaking the news to you. how could i ever do that to you? i’m sorry. god i’m so sorry sae.”

……

“hey. i received the gift you sent me. you didn’t have to , you know. now i kinda feel bad about having you go on break in the middle of soccer season because of me. but still, thank you. i appreciated you being here, with me. it was a refreshing feeling, talking to you again and just hanging out. work has been really stuffy and felt like i was being caged but you came. you suddenly appeared and suddenly everything was alright again. i know we only said goodbye a couple minutes ago but, i miss you already. sorry. this sounds really weird doesn’t it? anyways, thank you again for the gift. i’ll be sure to wear it everyday. that’s all, have a good night sae.”

……

“hey. sorry for calling at such an odd time. i just. i just felt a little lonely. i sound so stupid i’m sorry. good night sae.”

……

“makoto dropped by today. god he was as annoying as ever but he really cheered me up. he managed to confess to this girl he’s pining over since sophomore year. i’m happy for him. but it really got me thinking about us. i know i told you to forget about that one recording because i was drunk but now that i look back on it, i wasn’t really honest. to you and myself. i know this may be the worst timing to confess but yeah, i like you very much. since primary school, as cliche as it may sound i think it all started when you stood up for me from those bullies. now that i think about, i practically glued myself to your side ever since that day didn’t i? i’m glad you didn’t really mind that. i remember always using homework as an excuse to always have you hang out with me even though i completely understood the lesson. man, where did i get the confidence to do that stuff? but i guess those times are lost in the sands of the past i guess. oh right, sorry, i forgot you didn’t really like those type of stuff. getting all deep and whatnot. well that’s all, i’m getting pretty tired already so i’ll head to bed. good night sae.”

everything passes.

-

— present

“hi. thank you by the way. i don’t know, i just don’t think i’ve ever said that you recently. so, thank you. its a bit funny isn’t it? i would almost always talk your ear off every recording but this time, i can’t even find the words to say. my parents came over, talked to them a bit. rin visited as well. he’s gotten a lot taller than i last saw him, he’s probably taller than you now!

……

sae, thank you. for everything. i’m glad we stayed in touch. i’m glad we stayed as friends.  thank you for making my days seem just a tad bit brighter, though sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we were, you know, dating. wonder what the difference would be. i mean we’d still talk to each other right? maybe holding hands and kisses but that’s pretty much it right? but thinking about it is useless right now. maybe in an alternate universe were actually married and adopted a cat like how we used to talk about.”

“you know, before this very moment. i accepted my fate already. i was content, i was doing fine but now. sae, i don’t want to die.”

“please remember me ok? and i’ll be sure to remember you. i’ll see you again, sae.”

“nii-chan..”

sae could only put his phone back in his pocket. his younger brother standing a good distance away from him. he could only imagine how rin looked like right now. was he pitying him, grieving with him? he’ll never know because he will never turn to look at him. not when your right in front of him.

how many times had he played all your recordings for the past 2 years? maybe a little over a 100 times? maybe close to 200 now?

sae removed all those thoughts as he placed the bouquet on the ground, the wind seemed to answer to his call – you seemed to answer to his call. despite all the pain, all the misery, all the bitter waves of grief that flooded his being whenever he played your recordings, he couldn’t bring himself to stop. he didn’t want to forget what you sounded like. your voice reminded him too much of home.

“happy birthday you idiot.” he said to you, keeping his hands in his pockets, watching the leaves of the flowers in the bouquet sway with the wind. two pieces of paper underneath it threatened to be blown away. “you said you wanted to come visit me and watch my match, well now you can.” two pieces of paper, one a plane ticket to spain the other a ticket to his upcoming match two weeks from now. “you better come watch me alright?” he could only bitterly smile. 

“you’re 30 now,” he whispered, before getting on one knee. placing a velvet box in front of your gravestone. “you should’ve waited for me, you idiot.” sae could only mutter those words to no one in particular. it was as if the world had stopped for a moment, the wind had stopped howling, the sun was nowhere to be seen. he could only see you. “i wanted to marry you too, y’know.”

sae could remember every occurrence where he would sit at his balcony in spain every night after your passing. phone to his ear, listening to all your recordings. but you’ll never know how he replies to them, every single one of them with his own. 

“i told the stars about you and what we could’ve had.” he chuckled, “you’re by far the hardest lesson i had to learn.”

standing up from his kneeling position, he gave you one last look before walking away. rin followed suit, but not before placing something at your grave. a pink book that you had loved till the very end. 

sae hated planes, but he flew back to japan every year. sae didn’t really like flowers, but every year he’d get you a pretty bouquet. sae didn’t like coming home but if it meant getting to visit you, he’d come back over and over again. sae didn’t like reading or any deep and evoking questions but he always humored you whenever you asked him.

sae hated all those things but they reminded him too much of you to let them go. 

and just like your favorite author, when osamu dazai asked to die, he simplu agreed; but just before his death, he suddenly felt obsession with life.

everything passes. just like how you’ll eventually get lost in the sands of time.

© vxnuslogy 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works.

[gojolatte]

❥ Wan' You So Bad

» RATING › 18+ [M I N O R S D O N O T I N T E R A C T] » GENRE(S) › smut » PAIRING(S) › choso x f!reader » WORD(S) › 580 » SYNOPSIS › choso wants you however he can have you. » SMUT WARNING(S) › feral!choso, penetration, light mention of squirting, clit play, praise!kink choso, pet names (sugar), domestic » POST DATE › 03/05/2024

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I love the thought of Choso being so feral for you once the two of you make it official (and even a little bit before then). It's such an adorable thing. You could be washing dishes and he will just walk up to you and give you a back huge while kissing down your neck. Laundry? On more than one occasion, he has had you bent over the dryer while moaning about how you can’t get things done. You have to review your student assignments? That’s fine! He doesn’t mind. Especially when he can slip your panties to the side (or even better) when you don’t have any on because of your sexcapades the night before.

“You feel so good…” He would whine in your ear, leaning against your body to have enough room to maneuver you like he wants. “I don’t want anyone else.”

You chuckle, feeling him lay against your back. His body heat works in overdrive as you reach back to caress his face.

“Me neither, baby.” You twist your face the moment he leans forward to capture your lips as he moans into them. You nip at his bottom lip as he releases a soft gasp, his hands tightening against your hip. “You’re all I want.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, sweetheart.” You smile softly the moment he growls, the speed at which his hips pound against you increases and you can’t do much but take what he’s giving you. You groan when he hits that spot, making your leg shake and your toes curl. “Fuck, Choso,” You sigh in contentment feeling the hot pressure building in your stomach. You're so damn close but before you can cum, he spins you around to face him.

“I wanna see your face when you cum all over me.”

It’s a simple request. One that has you throwing your arms around Choso’s neck for leverage.

“Then make me cum, Sugar.”

He groans, picking up his pace once more when he’s got you settled in a position that will help you cum faster. As much as he loves your arms wrapped around him, he moves them in favor of wrapping his arms around your legs. He tosses them over his forearms and bends them back as he's able to get an unforgettable view of how your pussy swallows his cock whole. He licks his lips, thrusting forward in a manner that has your head falling backward and your moans growing in octaves.

“I’m so fucking close.” You tell him as he leans forward to leave kisses along your lips, jaw and any other place he feels needs his love. It makes you giggle in return and fucking hell, he loves the sounds you make for him. “Ah, y-yes... A little to the right, baby.”

He's quick to follow your directions and as soon as he pulls back to thrust forward again, you’re seeing stars. Your moans are much louder, your grip is tighter and he can feel the way your pussy is begging for him to keep going. Pulsing around him and squeezing him tighter as your nails dig into the bed.

He reaches his hand between the two of you to rub your clit a bit faster as your body stills, head thrown back as far as you can go and you begin to shake. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and for a second, Choso is confused because why did it get so much wetter?

“H-Holy shit."

A/N ➳ Tell me what you think! I absolutely love Choso ever since he was introduced and well yeah! I hope you like it! xoxo © GOJOLATTE 2024 ➳ ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  PLEASE DO NOT Copy, Translate, ReUpload, or Steal ANY of my work. Thank You, Beautiful People!

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Kinktober (reuploaded)

Breeding (Chris)

Request: Baby fever with Chris I BEG YOU/omg when you write breeding Chris can you add Y/N saying she wants to have a baby with such pretty blue eyes like Chris

Warnings: Talk of pregnancy, breeding obviously, soft/slow sex

Y/n’s pov

Chris and I have been dating since we were 17 but I’ve known him and his brothers since we were 4 years old. From the moment we started dating, our families always joked saying we’d get married one day. Well, that was a future reality, since Chris had proposed to me in May of this year. Even though we’ve only been engaged for a few months and we’re only 20, I would love to start a family with him. We had this conversation the other day with Nick and Matt, for some reason the topic was babies and Chris was ecstatic.

“I want like four or five babies! I can’t wait until Y/n gets pregnant, she’s gonna be so cute with our baby in her belly” he smiled, poking me in the stomach. “Ow Chris don’t do that. We do have baby fever though” I laughed as Nick grimaced. “I hate babies and I hate children” he said, Matt smacked him, “Oh shut up Nick you know when they have a baby you’re gonna be the cool gay uncle” he laughed. “I’m not changing diapers” Nick grimaced again, “I wanna make Y/n fat and pregnant” Chris beamed happily.

That was like five days ago, today we were having a lazy day, we lived in the guest house behind Matt and Nick’s. They got it built after hearing me and Chris fuck too many times, but still, it was a nice gesture and we get to still live with them basically. “Would you really have babies with me?” I asked Chris as I cuddled up to his side. “I’d love nothing more than to get you fat and pregnant. Our babies would look so cute” I could literally hear the smile in his voice. I pulled away and sat up against the headboard, Chris doing the same right after, looking at me with a big smile.

“Our kids can’t call me daddy though, that would be fucking weird” he laughed, causing me to smack his chest. “They could call my parents Mimi and Papa, and yours Grammy and Pop-Pop. Those sound so cute!” I gushed. “My dad would love Pop-Pop” Chris laughed again. “You know what I would love?” I asked, earning a small hum for me to continue, “I’d love for the baby to have your pretty blue eyes and gorgeous pink lips” I told him as my eyes shifted between the two, Chris doing the same to me. “Yeah?” he asked breathlessly against my lips, “Yeah” I said back in the same way.

Chris leaned in and softly pressed his lips against mine, moving us to lay back. “Let’s make that blue-eyed baby right now! You’re off birth control right?” he asked softly, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “Yes, now let’s make that baby” I smiled, placing a passionate kiss to his lips, after a few minutes, Chris pulled away. He took off his shirt and sweats before pushing my shirt up to see my stomach. “You’re gonna look so good pregnant. Can’t wait to put a baby in your belly” he said while kissing all over my stomach.

“Chris— babe please hurry!” “Sorry, I’m just so excited to have a kid with you” he blushed hard. Chris pulled my shirt over my head before taking off both our underwear, running two fingers through my folds. “So wet already- can we just go straight into softly fucking?” he asked breathlessly, “God, yes” I whined back. Chris slowly slid in and started thrusting fairly fast right away, not too fast though. I pulled him down for another kiss and we let breathless moans out into it, having both a passionate kiss and sex. I was running my fingers through his hair softly while the other held onto the side of his jaw.

One of Chris’ hands moved down to my clit, rubbing it quickly. Pulling away from the kiss, he started talking, “This is like the slowest sex we’ve ever had but— shit! This is gonna be the fastest I’ve ever cum, want you to cum for me princess” he said lowly. I let out a few loud moans before I started cumming, “Oh fuck Chris, so good babe. Want you to cum in me” I moaned. Chris hid his head in my neck, whining as he came in me, pumping into me a few more times before pulling out. He immediately moved down to finger his cum into me, not wanting any to spill out.

“Can’t believe we’re going to have a baby” he said excitedly, kissing all over my stomach. “They’re going to have the prettiest blue eyes, just like their dad” I smiled while playing with his hair. “God, I love you so much Y/n!” he said, looking at the pretty engagement ring on my finger. “I love you so much more” I replied as we both cuddled up with each other and drifted off to sleep, hoping we’d have a happy little family soon.

<<< 12 months later>>>

A few months ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Chris was ecstatic to find out he was going to have a son. He does, in fact, have Chris’ pretty blue eyes, he’s so tiny but you can already tell he has his dads nose as well. We named him Nolan Cole Sturniolo, Chris is literally the best dad ever, he helps me with everything. Matt and Nick are so excited that they’re uncles now, Matt always offers to babysit him so me and Chris can go on date nights. I wonder if he’ll be confused when he grows up, having a dad and two uncles who look exactly the same and all. Anyways I’m very happy with our little family.

[storagebay29]

james somerton 'apology' video transcript

Note: for those who do not want to watch it. For those who do, here's a link to a reupload as the original has since been deleted. There are a lot of a pauses and 'um's/'uh's, the latter of which are largely ommitted from the below transcript. Posted under a readmore as it's pretty long.

I'm sorry for taking so long to make this video, or to say anything. I'm in the hospital- I've been in the hospital for a little over a week. I tried- Fuck. I tried to do something really stupid... (pause) I'm only here now because before I did it, I called my dad to talk to him one more time and, he figured out something was wrong, called paramedics or 911 or… and they got here and I woke up in the hospital and, yeah.

…

Anyway, I'm not trying to make this a sob story, I'm just trying to explain why I've been so quiet. I had a friend from back home checking my emails and stuff, and yeah.

…

But anyway… I wanna say that I'm really really sorry, really really sorry... for the stuff in the videos, the not crediting people, and for a lot of videos, you know I, I did the opening titles thing, and I tried to put like ‘this is based on X's- this person's research, or on this person's book,’ but I know now that wasn't enough, that wasn't okay. And then there were a lot of times... that uh...  oh god. There were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody (pause) and I'm really really sorry.

And I'm not, I'm not sorry that I got caught, I'm sorry for ever doing it, I didn't- I honestly honestly... didn't realise that I was hurting people... And now that I know that I was hurting people… I'm just really sorry.

I lost my best friend because of this. Nick and I have been best friends since 2011 or [20]12? We'd been friends online and then. He lived in Ottawa, I moved to Ottawa so we could be, like, friends in person, and then we moved back to- I moved back to Nova Scotia, and Nick came with me. We eventually moved to the Toronto area where we lived together for 7 years? 8 years? We lived together for a really long time… and… he hasn't spoken to me since this happened.

Sorry, sorry I said I wasn't gonna make this a sob sorry. I should’ve got some Kleenex.

Then again I'm really really really sorry for the things I did in the videos: copying people's work and not crediting them properly or at all. I also wanna apologise for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos? I didn't- I honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos, most cases I didn't write it but I should’ve, you know it was my face on the channel, my name on the channel, I should have been, I should have been more diligent about fact checking and stuff. ‘Cause there was a lot of really stupid shit in there. It would’ve- it's just so easy to check, I just never did, I just took it for granted…

I also, I wanna thank Hbomberguy and his team for setting up the fund to make some money available for the authors that were wronged and the journalists and writers and…

I wanna help somehow, I don't know how, a lot of- I've seen a lot of people online saying how much money I apparently make and they’re way overestimating. Beyond the fact that Nick and I split everything 50/50, they're still way overestimating how much money came in… And the Toronto area is expensive, so there's not really any kind of savings, I'm moving home really soon… ‘Cause without Nick there's nothing for me here, and like I said it's really expensive…

And so I wanna say I wanna thank them for setting up that fund, and I wanna help somehow. The only thing I can think of right now is to make the videos, most of the videos public again and every month I can send the ad revenue from all of the past videos- ‘cause there were plenty that didn't have any, any uncredited stuff in them... But I can make them public again, and then every month I can send the AdSense to- either I can send it to Hbomberguy's team, that they can add to the fund, or I can start a fund myself? And every month I can publicly say how much money was made on the AdSense and show it. And send that to the writers and stuff every month. I don't know... what the system for that would be? But I would be more than happy to do that

You know some of the videos like the ‘Killing Stalking’ video brought in like a pretty decent amount of money every month so that would be helpful I think/to them. I'll also put in either the description or the pinned comment the names of the authors so that anyone watching the video knows where all of the information came from, that it wasn’t me going out doing journalism- I never thought that anyone thought that I was doing journalism and stuff, and I don't think anyone did. For the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserve, they did the hard work, all I did was edit a video. They did the hard work and they- they deserved the credit

(cut) Sorry about that, phone stopped recording.

But- yes. They deserved- they deserved credit, and… when it was something... when it was something like the, the recent... ‘history of hollywood’ videos, right there in the opening credits, I put the Vito Russo's name, that it was adapted from his book ‘The Celluloid Closet’. Same thing went for the gay panic video and the gay holocaust video, they were- the holocaust video was adapted from two books, and the gay panic video was adapted from a lot of journalism, and I- I put their names right at the beginning of the videos.

But and- I understand that's not how citation works... now. I understand that, I get it. And I wanna do better. And I know a lot of people hate me now, ‘cause I did bad shit. But I wanna try and do better. At some point I’d like to make videos again. I'd like to do videos that are fully sourced, where I will put a link to the script where you can find all the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve, any the kind of research that's done, credit for any b roll that's used whether it's stock footage, or movies or TV shows or video games, or anything like that, have it all in there. I would like to become a really really good example of giving proper credit to writers and journalists

And I know a lot of you watching this aren't- aren't really gonna care, you'd rather I just disappear. But I would like to try to do better.

I never ever intended to hurt anybody. I never thought that that's what I was doing. Before I went- before I went to the hospital, I read a lot of stuff from people who were really hurt, not just authors and stuff but people who watched my videos who were hurt by stuff in them. People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. It's really- it's just- it’s not true. And I’m sorry that stuff made it into videos that just shouldn’t have been there: misinformation and lies... But I promise you I did not write that stuff.

I should have been a lot more exacting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that those are not- I don't think those things. I specifically want to apologise to asexual people who feel that I just completed delegitimised you. Nick being ace, I- I know that it's kinda like you know, no two gay people are exactly the same, no two ace people are exactly the same, but I kind of, when it came to that I just kind of ran with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that. And I’m not trying to throw Nick under the bus, which a bunch of people are saying that I was setting him up as doing, which is not true…

This whole thing, Nick and I were 50/50 partners, it wasn't I hired him to have a scapegoat or something like that. I never hired Nick. Nick and I were roommates for years before I started doing Youtube videos and then they started- people started watching them and I asked Nick if he wanted to help me write them and he said yes and we started splitting the- first the AdSense and then the Patreon and then the sponsorships, we just split everything. Nick was never supposed to be a fall guy.

I'm sorry. Maybe I should have waited longer to do this. But yeah, I- the- I did not- I don’t think those things and I don't think Nick does either, I think it was just how fast we were writing stuff, and how fast we were putting videos out, it was just too fast. And we weren’t putting the care into them that needed to be put into them.

I've seen a lot of people on social media and other youtubers even lying about me, but other- other- Hbomberguy was not one of them, I just wanna be clear about that, except I was never setting Nick up to be a fall guy and. It was never a grift or anything like that. I swear it was not. It is not.

In the next couple of days, I'm gonna send out a message to the Telos supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them because we were not super clear about everything that was going on with Telos and so I can- I understand if it seems like we weren't doing anything but we were. We were doing a lot of work on Telos. We just weren’t talking about it is because we- we made that initial first announcement for ‘final girl’ and that fell through and I'll explain that to the message I send out to the supporters which I'm sure will end up on reddit or somewhere… And after that we didn't- we didn't want to talk about it too much until we had something really concrete, and I will explain all of that in that message

Telos was and is not a grift. I was never gonna take the money and run. None of the money that came in for telos was ever going to be paying me or Nick. It was going to be paying queer actors and artists, musicians, things like that. And I know there's been lots of talk about budgets and all this stuff, and people saying that I'm really stupid for thinking a movie could be made for that little money, but there are examples of it being done, and I actually do have a work ethic.

Anyway. but yeah. anyway

I do want to keep making videos and I know a lot of you won't watch them and that's- that's fine. But I really liked making videos…

We ended up making a lot of videos we didn't wanna make because people were asking for them, and so there were a lot of videos that we made that we didn't wanna make, and I think those videos are very clear on which ones those were. One of them never got officially released. It was released to patrons, some patrons have shared it to other people before all the videos went private. A lot of people hate the analysis that Nick and I did on it but. And so maybe it's good that that never got properly released, because… maybe it would have hurt people. And I don't want that.

But I do wanna make videos again sometime. I'd love to do like retrospectives on important gay movies. If you watch the channel ‘Be Kind Rewind’ they're an amazing channel that do a lot of retrospectives on older Hollywood movies and I would love to do that for gay movies. A lot of gay movies, people my age and younger have never heard of, things like ‘Torch Song Trilogy’ and ‘Longtime Companion’, and stuff like that, movies from the seventies and eighties and the nineties, things that were like really influential for gay cinema that no one talks about. And you know, I'd like to talk about not just those movies but how they got made and stuff like that. I would love to do something like that.

I swear on my mother's grave that there will be no copying people, no copying pasting. Every source will be cited in a document and on screen. ‘Cause I usually liked doing the research. I loved doing research - reading the books and articles and stuff like that. I- the part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. Instead of just putting it into my words and citing them properly and giving them credit… that's where the laziness came in. That was- I wasn't trying to be malicious. That was just laziness. And I promise for anyone who does watch the videos that I make going forward… I promise that will never happen again. I welcome the highest level of scrutiny on the new videos.

…

As for Patreon, I’m going to reactivate it. Because I saw a lot of people on social media saying that I was probably going to reactivate it right on January 1st so that everyone could get a surprise billing and I could take the money and run. And, no. First of all that was never my plan and I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna reactivate it now so that anyone who wants to leave - which I imagine will be the vast majority - can leave and not have to worry about being billed again in January.

… Yeah. So. In closing. I'm again incredibly sorry... And again I'm not sorry because I was caught, I honestly didn't know how much I was hurting people… and how much harm I was bringing to the community, because that's not ever what I intended. I wanted the channel to be a safe place. I spent so much time deleting comments that were hateful

I recently found out that I wasn't being notified about- that I wasn’t seeing comments that were in replies to other comments so there were plenty of hateful comments in the comment section that were plenty hateful that I wasn’t seeing, and I didn't know that. But I wanted the channel to be a safe place and it ended up not being a safe place.

And for the misinformation, that kind of falls into two categories. 1. I did the wrong research in the historical things and other things they're not what I wrote.

Again, thank you to Hbomberguy and his team for making the fund for the writers. I'd like to try to contribute to that somehow so- if- if it's okay to make the videos public and send all of the- public and send all- it won't be all of videos ‘cause some of them had to be taken down because sponsors wanted them taken down, but I can put the videos back up with the sources properly put in either- for the I guess for the videos that would be going up from zero, I could actually put in sources for the videos, which would be good.

I guess I could- For the other ones that would just be made live again, I could put them in a pinned comment. ‘Cause I think people read pinned comments more than they read the descriptions, cause like the descriptions disappear in a lot of places. Something like that. Something so that I can try and- it won't make up for what I did but just. Something.

So I’m really really really sorry. I hurt a lot of people that I really respect and that really sucks. And.  Nick if you're watching this I know you're probably not but I miss you and…

Yeah I want to do better. I want- I want to do better. I want to prove that I can do better. I don't expect anyone to just give me the benefit of the doubt. But I want to show that I can do better, so I hope you'll let me do that.

Again, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry that the things I did- I'm sorry that I disappointed you. I promise going forward I will do better.

Thanks for watching, and...

…

And I’m really sorry.

[yuta-nation]

content: gn!reader, a little bit of manhandling, reo tuning out reader, kisses to shut you up

a/n: inspired by one scene in the notebook

Reo loved you more than anything–more than he loved Nagi or football or himself. You were his world, his motivation, his purpose. He loved you so much it sometimes scared him. Because he knew he would do anything for you–make any sacrifice necessary to see you happy. He would drain his bank account for you. He would give up football for you. He’d die for you. All you had to do was ask.  The two of you were only two years into the relationship, but he knew you were the one. Truthfully, he knew three months in, but he didn’t want to scare you off with the intensity of his feelings. But it was Reo’s certainty, his steadfast belief in your relationship that prevented him from understanding why you were “freaking the fuck out” over meeting his parents.  

He watched as you paced in front of the mirror in your shared bedroom (he was still so smug that he convinced you to move in with him two months ago, that his place was now yours), scrutinizing your outfit before inevitably changing into something else. Honestly, Reo didn’t think his parents were worth the mess you were making.  He was so busy admiring the crease in your forehead, the rising of your eyebrows, the gestures of your hands that he didn’t really hear the words leaving your pouty lips. 

“Reo, are you even listening to me?”  you turned to him and asked, hands finding their place on your hips. 

“Not at all, baby. You’ve been talking yourself in circles for 45 minutes,” he said with a teasing smile as he stood. It only took him several strides before he was standing directly in front of you, grin still plastered on his face. He gently took your hands in his own and pulled them to his chest, resting them against his heart. 

“Stop worrying so much, yeah?”

“And how do you suggest I do that?” you asked, voice laced with annoyance. You pulled your hands from your boyfriend’s grasp and began fidgeting with your clothes again.

“Just don’t care so much.”

“But I do care, Reo! I care so fucking much! What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t think I’m good enough for you? What if they–” Your words were interrupted by a large hand grasping your face between its thumb and fingers, pinching gently. Your lips were immobilized and soon covered by your boyfriend’s. His kiss was chaste but long. It was like he was trying to soothe your worries with his lips alone. After a few seconds, Reo broke the kiss but kept his grip on your face.

“I don’t care what my parents think. I like you. I know you’re good enough for me. I love you. If they don’t, fuck them. You’re mine, I’m yours, and we’re going to be together no matter what. So stop worrying, okay?”

You did your best to nod with Reo’s hand still around your face, causing him to smile and bring his lips to yours once more. 

© PU-RE-LOVE 2023. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE, REUPLOAD, OR CLAIM MY WORKS AS YOUR OWN ON ANY OTHER SITE.

[xoxodiluc]

lapis dei | zhongli ( genshin impact ) x female! reader

— part two.

series genre romance, angst, smut, fantasy mafia! au

summary in your family, being married and giving an heir to a certain man you’re married to is a must. after zhongli lost his wife guizhong — he was devastated. but there’s no time in wasting to find another woman who shall be his new wife, and you were chosen.

cw in this chapter smut [ sub! virgin! reader, first time, slight sir kink, praising ], strong language, mentions of death, death threats | please read at your own risk, and please send an ask if i missed any content warnings here. not proofread.

word count 1.2k

notes + at the end this is a reupload!!! since this app wanna act up… here’s the second part of the zhongli mafia series! enjoy :) | if you want to be added in the taglist, just send me an ask / reply. thank you ☺︎

one | two ( you’re here ) | three | four

Rex Lapis’ contract states that you should never fall in love with the man you’re married to.

You suddenly thought about that while Zhongli’s lips tickled your neck, leaving soft kisses, your bare bodies against each other. You wondered, was Guizhong not allowed to fall in love with Rex Lapis? or did he love her—

“You seem to be in deep thought,” He whispered, raising his head to look at you. “What is it?”

You shook your head, giving him a small smile. “It’s nothing, sir. Don’t worry.”

“Just call me Zhongli. You are my wife now.”

Staring into his amber eyes, you whispered, “Okay, Zhongli.”

Calling him only by his name was so unfamiliar, but for some reason, you liked it.

“Unless you want to call me ‘sir’ during sex, that is.” He chuckled when he saw your flustered face. “I’m gonna put it in, okay? Tell me anything, whether it hurts, or it feels good.”

Of course, the nervousness kicks in again, but you just nodded at him while flashing a smile. “Okay.”

You held onto his shoulder as you felt him entering you. They weren’t wrong with first times hurting.

“Ah...” You let out, squeezing your nails onto Zhongli’s shoulder, yet he didn’t mind. “H-Hold on…”

As you expected, he was too big.

He nodded understandingly. When you felt the pain slowly going away, you looked at him. “You can move now.”

“I’ll be gentle,” He reassured, kissing your lips as he carefully thrust into you.

And finally, as seconds passed, the pain was slightly replaced by pleasure. You panted when he started getting a bit rougher with his thrusts. “Mmh… it feels good, sir…”

“Yeah? Fuck,” He grunted, “You’re tightening up so much…”

You let out little whimpers as he slammed his hips against yours, and you couldn’t help but admire him.

He’s beautiful. He really is — the fact that you’re married to him somehow made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

However, it’s only an arranged marriage.

Nothing more.

You have to keep reminding yourself that.

A few weeks after your wedding, you and Zhongli don’t speak to each other unless he needs to. He still intimidated you, too, even though you saw a different side of him back on your wedding night.

Honestly, you never thought it would get so boring. Sure, you could go out (but of course, you have a personal bodyguard if you will) or buy everything you wanted, but still.

Your own husband won’t even acknowledge you.

You could only sigh.

“M-Madam Y/N!” A maid called out when you left the bedroom. She was nervous — you could tell by her tone.

“Yes?”

“Mr. Zhongli has requested that you wear this dress for later. Raiden Shogun had invited him for lunch since she decided to visit Liyue.”

Raiden Shogun. The Mafia leader of Inazuma. All you’ve heard is that she is merciless, and you weren’t sure if it was okay for them to meet.

Don’t they have bad blood between each other?

She gave you a box, which you assumed contained the dress Zhongli wanted you to wear. The maid bowed, then walked away at a fast pace.

Were you that intimidating? You knew you were part of the Mafia, but you’ve never been strict with maids. You were always friendly with them!

Or maybe because now, you’re Rex Lapis’ wife.

Sighing, you walked back to your bedroom and tried the black dress Zhongli gave you.

And… wow.

It was stunning. Besides the dress, there was also a jade necklace and a pair of jade earrings.

Jade itself is expensive. You don’t even own one.

You admired yourself in the mirror. Maybe you could go shopping for clothes you actually want once in a while.

It was silent in the car. There was a distance between the two of you in the backseat, and you noticed Zhongli preferred to be quiet.

From the corner of your eye, you examined him. He wore a black tuxedo with a gold watch on his left wrist. His arms were crossed, looking out the window with an emotionless face.

“You can stop staring at me now. We’re here.”

Your eyes widened, looking away from him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

A small smile from him was enough to make you shut up.

The driver opened the door, and Zhongli climbed out. He offered his hand and you took it gratefully, seeing the luxurious restaurant in front of you.

“Just stay close to me.” He muttered. You nodded and linked your arm to his before entering the restaurant. It wasn’t long before you were facing the Raiden Shogun herself.

Only seeing her in pictures, she looked even more beautiful in personal.

But if looks could kill, you’d be dead.

She looked at you with a poker face, but her eyes were sharp.

“I have been waiting for you, Morax. I assume this is your new wife?”

“Yes, this is Y/N. His father is a trusted friend of mine.” Your husband pulled you closer by your waist.

She crossed her arms, “Huh… All right. Go take a seat.”

Once you and Zhongli sat down, he asked, “What was the reason for you to meet up with me?”

“No reason,” She responded, looking down at her dessert. “Since I visited Liyue, I just thought I’d catch up with the Mafia leader. And I was also told that you have a… new wife… what was it, Y/N? Immediately after Lady Guizhong has passed.”

Okay. You could tell Raiden doesn’t like you. You could almost hear the disgust in her voice when she said your name.

Zhongli grabbed the menu, “I see. well, I’m doing fine. Up until now… we still couldn’t catch my superior’s killer, but I’m doing my best to catch them soon,” Then he looked up at her. “What about you? How have you been?”

She leaned back on the chair, “I’m good.”

The silence after that made you feel awkward, so you grabbed the menu, looking for something to eat.

An Adeptus’ Temptation? Or Golden Shrimp Balls? Perhaps, some Jade Parcels?

Zhongli’s cell phone suddenly rang, and he stood up to answer it. “I have to take this, I’ll be back.”

And he’s gone.

Great.

Your heart was racing, and you felt like something was wrong.

“I will get rid of you.”

It took seconds after processing what Raiden Shogun had said to you.

To get rid of you… to kill you.

Why?

“Why, you ask? Because I want to marry Morax. By marrying him, I can take what he has, and I can make a deal that he won’t ever refuse in exchange for marrying him,” You see the smile on her face. You nervously fiddled with your fingers. You knew it… she’s just as ruthless as you thought. “Did you know that Morax killed Sasayuri? One of my trusted friends, and the person I was supposed to marry? So do you expect me to just sit here and do nothing after all that?”

you gulped, unable to speak.

“Count your days, Y/N.”

After some time, you heard Zhongli’s deep voice from behind you. “I’m back, have you decided on what to order?”

“I’ll… I’ll get the Jade Parcels.” You almost whispered. God, your hands were shaky. You couldn’t even look anywhere because you could feel Raiden’s gaze on you.

Your blood ran cold at the thought of getting killed by her.

notes idk how this story suddenly got dark…?!??!

taglist @dori-mon @angel-of-requiem @xxshinimakixx @aestharmus @atsuki-mitsuri @aclairysm @kodzuken-a

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[jokeroutsubs]

Audio + CC link: https://youtu.be/ulyrcg0Fmqw

ENG SUB: JokerOutSubs x RADIOAktivno collab: 'Umazane misli' Album Presentation

We are very happy to have been able to collaborate with Boštjan Najžar from RadioAKTIVNO podcast (Facebook, YouTube), who very kindly reuploaded the removed video on YouTube again and agreed to collaborate with us by adding subtitles!

Below you can find the transcription of our translation of the interview, which originally aired on 23.11.2021, on Radio Prlek/RADIOAktivno YouTube channel.

Everyone: We are Joker Out.

Bojan: And you are listening to RADIOaktivno.

Boštjan: We've heard 'Gola' by Joker Out, from the album 'Umazane Misli'. Today with me on the RADIOaktivno show on Radio Prlek all the members, Martin, Jure, Kris, Bojan and Jan.

Everyone: Hello.

Do you have any dirty thoughts?

Jan: Every day. Yes, more and more. That's what connects us, that's what's always stuck with us. I think we're born with dirty thoughts. We've just released that on a CD.

Now you have finally made them public.

Bojan: Yes, it took a while, but these dirty thoughts have changed in the last two years, since the album should, in theory, have been released originally, they have evolved a lot. And they have evolved in such a way that we are now really very happy with them. So, yeah, the physical form is finally with us.

Anyway, Joker Out, you've been playing your cards successfully for a few years now. Are there many Jokers in the game?

Kris: Yes, there are exactly five in the game, right? Each one special in their own way. That specialness and dirty thoughts, as they say, unite us, too, don't they. I don't know what else to add to that.

Do you play cards?

Jure: Do we play cards? No. Socially, we don't play cards. No. 

Bojan: We’ve actually never played cards.

Jan: We were at the casino last time.

Bojan: Hey, we were. And on average, I think, we were in a deficit, just two euros in total, or four.

Jan: Something like that.

That's a good result.

Bojan: Really good.

Kris: So kids, don't go to the casino.

Bojan: Yes. You will always lose.

Five Jokers, well connected.

Martin: Seems pretty well connected to me. We kind of complement each other nicely in what we create and what we do. What else can I say? Well, if there are only two Jokers in a deck, here we have five. Kind of.

Bojan: Like the Power Rangers.

Jan: Yes. Power Rangers. Power Rangers. Power Out. Joker.

Bojan: Is there a pink Power Ranger?

Jan: Joker Rangers.

Martin: There's a pink Power Ranger.

Bojan: I am the pink Power Ranger. Bojan.

So does each one choose his own colour, or is it assigned to a particular member?

Kris: Yes, I think basically the colour is assigned based on his character and temperament. So maybe pink really suits Bojan, yes.

Kris, which one for you?

Kris: Yes, I don't know which Power Rangers are left.

Bojan: Red, yellow, green.

Jan: You can have one of your own.

Bojan: Black.

Kris: Is Jan the black one?

Bojan: Jan is the black one.

Kris: Jan is the black one, right.

Bojan: Jure is the yellow one, right?

Jure: Am I the yellow one, or what?

Kris: Is he the yellow one?

Martin: Nooo.

Bojan: Yes, I don't know, is it?

Kris: I would say, the green one?

Jure: Green.

Kris: Jure is...

Bojan: Green.

Jure: Well, come on.

Kris: Hey, what's left, red and blue still, Jurko?

Martin: Yes, yes.

Jan: Jurko is more…Martin is more the blue one.

Kris: Well, I'm the red one and Martin is the blue one.

Power Rangers are always in action, are you always in action too?

Martin: Yes, especially lately, I think, that we're pretty much in action. Well, from all points of view, musical and others, socially. What else can I say on this topic?

Jure: There's a big thing in the works right now. So, we have to split up the tasks and that's it, yes.

But there's a lot of "sweet" work now?

Jure: Yes, yes and no, right?

Bojan: If you interpret it that way, it's much easier. If you tell yourself that it's "sweet" work, then many things that originally are not directly related to music, but are just things that we have to do along the way, to be successful, it could work, after all. We have a lot of "sweet" worries, we often have worries that we would like to or be able to give to someone who tolerates them better than we do, or just not have them.

Kris, were you going to add something else?

Kris: I just wanted to say that there's a lot of sweet powder as well. To get this, the context of one of the songs will come in handy.

UMAZANE MISLI

Gola' was the opening track, the second will be the title track for the album, 'Umazane misli'.

Bojan: Yes, 'Umazane misli' is one of those extremely upbeat, good-mood songs, which was kind of our attempt at Brit pop and we feel that it was very much the beginning of a certain vibe that we would like to maintain. It's also a very particular song because it was sung by one of my classmates from college, who had never sung or stood in front of a microphone in her life, so it has that touch of naivety. So yes, a very beautiful song that I hope we'll listen to.

Umazane misli' by Joker Out's album with the same name. You are a five-member band, I read online, you started from the ruins of Apokalipsa, in 2016.

Bojan: Yes, on the ruins of Apokalipsa and then Buržuazija (Bourgeoisie). These were the two bands that kind of broke up and then formed this current whole. Except for Jurček, Jurček joined us this January from the ruins of many other bands where he was forged.

But Buržuazija is still active. So you have taken away a member from them?

Jan: Yes, they got replaced. I mean, no matter what, Buržuazija always finds a way to its position.

Kris: True. The class struggle continues.

Jan: But, yes. I mean, this is a band that's replaced every member five times, at least, so...

Bojan: They're really a living organism.

Jan: Resilient. They're resilient, yes.

Martin: That's the question, right, if you replace every part of the boat, is it still the same boat?

Bojan: No, it's not the same boat, but it is a very good thing for Buržuazija, because I would say they are in the best possible shape right now. Maybe I dissed Jan and Kris with that, because it wasn't so good when they were there, but yes... Great band, still, or rather now.

Kris: Yet I 'Still' ('Vedno') enjoy it.

Jan: Yes, that.

Then today, Jure, you are actually the youngest member, joining the band?

Jure: Oldest member but youngest in the band, yes, I think.

In experience with Joker Out, I mean.

Jure: In experience with Joker Out, yes.

Bojan: He's the only one with a sweater on, so actually, kind of, the levels balance out.

Jure: I try to get on your level.

Have you received him nicely?

Kris: Absolutely. He's fitted himself in so perfectly into our band that I actually sometimes forget that we've been together for... - Just... - ...less than a year.

Bojan: He still has to adress us formally and eat at a separate table.

Jan: He did make us a really great roast once, so that's when we finally accepted him into our band.

Bojan: True, yes.

So you also have entrance exams in the group?

Bojan: Informal ones.

Given that Jure is cooking a roast to enter the group, what did the others do then to get in?

Martin: That is only for the members of Joker Out to know, right? Something like that.

Anyway, we first got in touch in 2017, Kris texted me then that you had a song, if it could be presented on the radio. If we could do an interview, but then Kris immediately left Bojan holding the bag.

Kris: Yes, that's when I, I don't know, I think I got lists from my mum of 30 music editors and we wrote to everyone when we released our first single 'Omamljeno telo' and I was genuinely surprised and I thank you, for even answering, so thank you very much. I really did, however, leave Bojan holding the bag at the time and still, I would do it again. That's just the duty of the frontman, or how should I say it? He has privileges and duties.

Usually the frontman is the most exposed member of the band.

Bojan: Yes, that's just kind of how it goes generally, but I will say that we have, especially in the last few months and in this final process of making the album, greatly expanded the public exposure of the whole band. And I personally would like to see this be brought to the maximum level, if possible, so to say, to be as exposed as possible. Not only because I find it to be right, but because I also sometimes feel like not going to every single thing.

VEM DA GREŠ

The next song will be 'Vem, da greš'.

Kris: What can I say about this track, listen to Bojan's sufferings.

Bojan: No, we have one interesting thing about 'Vem, da greš'. Vem, da greš' had three forms. It was a very slow balladic song at the beginning, but it kind of got on our nerves during the recording process and we didn't know what to do. We ended up speeding it up a lot. Mark Pirc, our video producer, had to edit the whole video again and shorten it by one minute, because we'd also shortened the song. Jan recorded the last guitar parts two hours before we sent the song to be mixed, so two months of work was practically in the trash, in such a bombastically short time before the mix itself.

Kris: May I add, it doesn't look to me like it was all garbage, because we would never have come up with this in the last four hours if we hadn't done that two months before.

Bojan: But Žarko clicked 'move to trash', 'delete'.

But then it was left in the bin anyway?

Bojan: It was left in the bin, yes. And also on his old computer, so we'll never hear that stuff again, even if we wanted to.

You've been accumulating experience on stage for quite some time, from various competitions and things like that.

Kris: Yes, it's true, as soon as we formed as a band, we also started looking for gigs, because we knew it was the only way for people to actually hear our music and feel it. Because what you see on YouTube, maybe doesn't capture you as much as live music. And there are, basically, at least for young bands in Slovenia, quite a lot of opportunities to show off, various competitions and bands battles and so on. And we've entered everything. Even when we weren't playing well, we thought we were better than everybody and we went to play. And basically, well, apart from showing off to the audience, you also get to know a lot of the young music scene, with whom it's very good to link, and I think that this has also helped us a lot in the long term.

What has it given you?

Martin: First of all, I think that these opportunities make it possible for young bands to come out of some kind of closed space, where they feel comfortable since they practice in front of each other and create some music to perform and show what they've been creating for the audience and let's them see how the audience reacts or, especially, how they don't react to your music at the beginning and it gives you some first experiences that are very important for then performing in front of larger audiences on bigger stages.

How is it, being in such competitions or opening for a more famous band that has stage experience behind them?

Jan: The first time we played as the opening act for Big Foot Mama in Domžale, I kind of felt so privileged, I was, I think, so privileged to be able to take part in it. So without going through that and being an opening act to bigger bands, also you can't become what they are now. So, 25 years ago, yeah. So, yes, it was interesting to feel a really big stage for the first time, right. And now we're kind of almost used to it, I think.

Kris: Do you know the song 'Garbage Hip Hop?'

Today it's different when you're the one on stage.

Jure: I don't know, I don't know if it's different. I think you have to make the same effort. You have to make the same effort. Maybe, okay, now people, people maybe percieve the opening act and the main band a little differently. But still, if you play what you what you agreed on, if you have good energy, communicate with people, it doesn't matter whether you're the opening act or the main band.

Bojan: Are you going to tell me that you don't feel a thousand times sexier on stage right now, than you did then? Don't lie.

Jure: No, no, I don't know if I do. No. I mean, I'm at the back, I'm the drummer, it's the same to me.

Bojan: Drummers, poor drummers, they never see the crowd and they can't even be seen on stage. But we'll buy you a pedestal, my dude, three metres high, dude, for everybody to see.

Jure: Lights.

Bojan: Then you're gonna see.

How do you feel as a singer now, when you're the frontman in a band and you have an opening act, compared to when you were the opening act?

Bojan: Yes, it's really one of those interesting leaps that we actually can't believe has already been made, I will say, honestly, as if we were just now realising that we had come to this point that someone is our opening act. We really do have a lot, a lot of work to do. But we are very happy to do a concert and there's somebody else before us. But we know that this role was ours, literally, for the last four years and we have always welcomed it with the greatest joy and pride. And it's a must on every musician's journey, so, yes, we're looking forward to a lot more opening acts, and hopefully as many as possible, that then will be back as the main ones, in the future.

To make the competition fiercer?

Bojan: Absolutely, I think that without good and healthy competition, there is no scene at all. So the more musicians we have, that are growing and that people are listening to, the more we will have an audience that wants Slovenian music.

PROTI TOKU

Is 'Proti toku' next?

Jure: Proti toku', that's a new song, yes. We finished this one together, right? After I joined the band. So, this is one of the latest ones. I don't know what else to say, 'Proti toku'.

Kris: Okay, so 'Proti toku' is the first track, you're going to hear from our new album and it's brand new. It's actually fairly well known amongst our audience, because we've been performing it for at least three years, I believe. But it's in a completely new format because we turned it upside down three times in the studio and we hope you like it.

Considering your music, are you a rock band?

Martin: We're definitely a rock band. By the way, we discussed this just yesterday, how as young performers, well, we are still young performers, but in the early days, we didn't know exactly how to define our genre. When we were asked what our genre is, and we were maybe a bit thoughtless, or you could say thoughtful, when we replied that our genre was 'Shagadelic' rock and roll, which is still what we all agree on.

And if we translate that, what is that supposed to mean? We know that there are many different kinds of rock.

Martin: I don't know how to translate that, as somehow...

Bojan: Fuckable is a literal translation. Fuckable.

Then we know which audience you are targeting most.

Bojan: Yes, everyone who is looking for...

Kris: Middle-aged males.

(laughter)

Jan: I mean, yeah, yeah, we are rock, right? I mean, rock isn't just leather trousers and beer, it's also smart clothes and beer.

Bojan: It's the eternal question of defining who is rock and who isn't. In our band there are three electric guitars, a bass and drums and I think the sound of our guitars is distorted. I don't know what else people want from us. Now, the fact that we're young, obviously, objectively speaking, girls find us charming, obviously degrades us into not being rock or something, according to many people. But sorry, not sorry, Guns N'Roses will never be on our setlist.

Were you in a dilemma at the beginning about what to play and which direction to follow?

Jan: We definitely were. I think we have quite different musical backgrounds. At least I was a little bit more metal at the beginning, which didn't really suit the other members, because Bojan doesn't sing "raaah". His voice is more delicate. Then, yeah, we explored a little bit, experimented some more with funk, but it didn't work out, because we just aren't... that funky, well, but... So, yeah, in a bit of a roundabout way we've reached this Shagadelic style, which we still hold on to.

How many adjustments were there at the beginning then? And brainstorming, different ideas, ways of looking at where to go and how to move forward?

Kris: Ugh...

Others: We still do that a lot. - It still happens.

Kris: That's constant. It's always present. It's a shouting match and the loudest one... No, no...

Bojan: And if you shout the loudest, you win.

Kris: Yeah, yeah. No, but seriously usually we had very different ideas, but somehow we at least let everyone speak their mind, and if it was really bad, it was just... Like that, the rest... But if anybody had a half decent...

Jan: Why are you looking at me now? (laughter)

Kris: Sorry... (laughter). But if anyone had a half decent idea we were like, okay, let's go and try to develop it and somehow we've always found a joint thread, invariably.

Would you also take a vote when you create then? To vote, like in a democratic fashion?

Jure: No, we don't, we don't take votes.

Bojan: Žare has this...

Jure: Yes, we do understand and know each other enough, so we know exactly which buttons we can and can't push.

Bojan: Our opinions don't really count, because in the end, Žare has the last word.

The producer has it then.

Bojan: Right, yes. We often bring the arrangement and then after 25 seconds we're faced with dissaproval and a horrified look on the face of Žare Pak, so we have to get back and rehearse ASAP.

The expression says it all.

Bojan: It tells it all. All of it, all of it.

Jan: And the vowel, right?

Bojan: He uses a vowel, ə... - əəə...

Several members: əəə...

Martin: Which we hear quite often in the band, right?

Bojan: Now we can write a book called 'The Thousand and One ə'. And Žare, we'll basically take Žare's, we'll write a whole book out of one ə.

After all, the Slovene language also has several e's.

Bojan: There are more, but believe me, Žarko probably knows even more of them.

DOPAMIN

Next up will be 'Dopamin'.

Martin: Dopamin' is a very exciting song from the album, because it's quite different from the others but it's still Shagadelic and it's ours and you can hear that. Although we kind of went out of our comfort zone creating it and what's particularly interesting to me, it's how well the fans have embraced it. So let's listen to 'Dopamin'.

Kris: Dopamin' is actually the best song to play after this whole rock 'n' roll debate we just had. It's a song that was essentially created two weeks ago, let's say, to completion. We had already been working on it with no real progress for a year and a half, because we, I had lots of different lyrics, this is actually a song I wrote, lyrics and melody for the most part, the only one on the album, and there was constant back and forth between Bojan and me, who's going to give in and when will the final version of the song be good enough.

Bojan: Yes, I would like to say that I am extremely happy, that Kris's debut made it onto the album and I'm not apologising to him one bit for any rejections that may have come his way, because they've led to a great song.

You have ten songs on the album, is there more material, is this a selection?

Jan: Yes, we've written at least 70 thousand songs in our life, but...

Martin & Bojan: They're cherry-picked.

Jan: They're cherry-picked, right. It's the cream of the cream of the crop. Well, yes, there is already more material coming up for the next album, which will be released at some point we've written at least one song.

Bojan: And a half.

Jan: One song and a half, yes.

Martin: Which won't pass the ə-test, right. The ə-test we were discussing earlier, so we'll see what happens.

Bojan: People always want to know how many E's are in their food, but we're interested in how many ə's are in Žare's answer.

There can be a lot of ə's in the studio with this technique.

Bojan: Loads.

Although I do miss some songs from your ealier period on the album. Have you separated then those perfect beginnings from the more recent period?

Bojan: Yes, actually we said that we would like this album to sound cohesive and represent our choices for example which period defined the Joker Out people know now. We have many songs that were part of our beginning, and we're not ashamed of them at all, but we feel that maybe they stylistically and sonically don't belong on this tangible product we have in front of us now. But we're discussing how and in what way we can put them into, if possible, physical form, and present them to the whole of Slovenia.

How do you go about creating then? Do you have a dedicated person who does the music? who writes the lyrics, or do you work together?

Bojan: I mean, people from the label usually come in, bring all the material...

Jure: And the money.

Bojan: We go to the photoshoots, pose and smile, do some interviews.

That's what most listeners think, but I know that's not the case.

Martin: I have one comment. Yes, this, this label is the Cultural Arts Association Joker Out, isn't it?

Bojan: Yes

Martin: Kind of. This label takes care of the whole creative process, finance and everything else, really, so we're pretty much the ones to blame for our own fate.

Kris: Right, in fact, this is how our creation process flows, as far as music is concerned, we all work together. You can start a song by, let's say Bojan or I can start making a framework for the song, with the lyrics and the melody, or someone could bring a melody on guitar to the rehearsals, a groove on the drums, like, a chord progression and we just build from there and then usually Bojan will write some lyrics over it and the melody and then we build it up until the producer screws it up, as we've mentioned a couple of times today and then we try to glue the pieces back together somehow.

Bojan: We're doing a mosaic, through and through.

Kris: Yeah, yeah, right, right. But in the end, the suffering is always worth it, obviously.

So gluing is popular with you, too.

Jure: Gluing is popular? Yes, it is. I mean.

You take a little bit from this song and cut up the other one.

Jure: Exactly. We can't do without it, yes. But it's more Žare's job, it's what he does.. We put together some stuff when we rehearse, we think it's nice, we record it, we're like, okay, smashing, let's go to the concert and let's promote it. And then we get to the studio our plans crumble..

Martin: As a label we have everything ready, but then we're just not on the same page as our producer.

Bojan, then you're the one who's responsible for the lyrics?

Bojan: Yeah, most of the lyrics on the album are mine, yeah.

Jan: Or the main culprits for the lyrics are the girls, who captivated Bojan in our favour.

Are there many of them?

Bojan: Well, you know how, I'm fascinated by, not only by the girls, girls as well, of course, but I'm fascinated by everyday things, a glimpse of... Every single glimpse of the world can fascinate you or disappoint you. When I write it's more often out of disappointment than out of fascination. But yes, I think there is a lot of inspiration around us.

BARVE OCEANA

Next up will be 'Barve oceana'.

Jan: The next song is 'Barve oceana', yeah. It's a song which has the colours of the ocean. Well it's also a song, that's undergone quite a lot of changes. At the end we added one genius synthesizer sound.

Bojan: We used this weird organ belonging to Žare from the '70s.

Jan: Žare's organ from the 70's, pardon me.

Martin: From Sweden.

Jan: Yeah, does anyone else have anything to say?

Bojan: Was that all you had to say, because...

Jan: I don't know, dude. What would you add?

Bojan: Yeah, 'Barve oceana' is one of those songs, that conveys, I'd say, not discontent, but more of a concern about the direction our society is heading in. Our consumption is increasing and very few people ask themselves what they can give back. It's about a certain desire to distance yourself from the material towards, let's say, the more elemental realm.

You've won several music awards recently, in the last two years, I believe?

Bojan: Yes, in 2019 we were awarded the Golden Flute for Newcomer of the Year. In 2020, we received the Golden Flute for Artists of the Year. This year, our song 'Umazane misli' also won the Radio Maribor and SI Frišno Award the favourite song by audience vote in the previous year. I don't know, did we win any other awards? Except...

Martin: Yes, there's one coming up. So, the publishing house Cultural Arts Association Joker Out, will be honouring Joker Out with the most Shagadelic record of the year award, so we're expecting it and looking forward to it. (laughter)

And you'll probably get a plaque as well, a gold or diamond record for record sales.

Martin: That's right, because that's what the label would give to the band. So we haven't decided on the colour yet, we're considering platinum, diamond. But we're going to discuss it at the label and then present it to the band, something like that.

What do such high sales mean?

Martin: Yes, it means that basically the CD as a product is not just for listening to music, it's also an experience for the listener. We've put a lot of effort into the design of the CD and I think it's a good looking tangible product. But at the same time, the listeners support us by buying it, so we're very grateful.

Is it just storefront sales or does it include digital sales as well?

Bojan: Digital sales as well. Actually there are some standards applicable, in terms of how many streams count as an album sold. We, of course, do not follow them in any way, because we're self-published and we can totally get away with it. So when Martin said, we're going to give ourselves one award, I believe we'll be handing out many. It is because when people come to our place, it will look like we've already got decades of awards behind us.

Earlier, you also mentioned that you participated in the Frišno Fresh festival and played with the Big Band. How did that feel, when your song actually got a whole new arrangement?

Bojan: It was phenomenal, because we, I'll say, we're all fans of the musicians, who were in the line-up. Maybe Jan's words after the concert or during the concert would best describe what it meant to us.

Jan: Yes, I listened to the band perform this song and I've been a long-time fan of Primož Grašič and Blaž Jurjevčič. And when I watched Grašič, let's say, as he played my piece, I got... It was just a special, special feeling. It was just... Yes, exactly.

Bojan: Emotional.

Jan: Emotional.

Bojan: Please don't cry Jan, it's okay. We're wiping away tears, it's okay.

But overall, all the compositions sounded very good.

Jan: Yeah, really, I mean, those are really world class musicians, kudos to the arrangers and the mothers who gave birth to them. So, yeah, basically, I just didn't see it coming. But it was refreshing to hear these songs, we hear on the radio on a regular basis in a slightly more jazz-like style.

Did you have a part in making the arrangements?

Bojan: No.

Kris: Yes, in fact, technically speaking we did, because we noticed that they took the original arrangement and incorporated certain harmonies into the new one. Which is actually quite an honour for us. That such accomplished jazz musicians...

Bojan: They weren't above it.

Kris: ...incorporated our amateur harmonies into their grandiose compositions.

METULJI

Metulji' is next.

Bojan: Metulji' is a song that was written, let's say, at the same time as 'Omamljeno telo'. In 2017, that is. Our biggest issue with this song was, that it had a very Yugo-nostalgic rock feel to it, which was not the sound we wanted. We just didn't know how to manifest what we heard in our heads. and that's why we decided at the time not to record the song. And that's why we only recorded 'Omamljeno telo'. But now this song has got, as far as I'm concerned, exactly the sound I always imagined, and I didn't know how to recognise it or explain it. Daniel Bogataj joined us for the arrangement, and another violinist (f) who... Daniel did the arrangement for strings and also recorded most of the string sections. So the song is very special, I'll say, as far as our album is concerned, it has a slightly more classical feel to it and it's also my personal favourite.

The promotion is already behind you, as you can read online, the response has been great.

Kris: Yeah, in fact it's hard to believe, that it's really all over. I, I believe, I speak for all of us here, when I say that I haven't really gotten down to earth yet from the whole thing. It has been quite an incredible experience. Both nights, the energy was high, Cvetličarna was packed. Who would have thought? Certainly not us five years ago.

Jure: We had no idea even back in September. In the middle of September we were, we were like Cvetka, we know it's happening, we can start renovating our place now. So we started to renovate the place, all of it, and then it was the end of September, okay, we were clearly lagging. So we had to find a new rehearsal place, so we were able to rehearse at all.

Bojan: Because of how many metres of timber we do now have in our place waiting for us?

Jure:Yes, far too many cubic metres of timber. We installed drywalls, the whole thing. We were filthy and then we had to sit down and pick up the instruments. And we had to rehearse and work for the whole month. It was really exhausting.

Now then, while you're renovating the place, or your rehearsal space, do you have dirty thoughts as well?

Jure: We had dirty hands.

Bojan: Hands, yeah.

Martin: And everything else.

Bojan: Sweet powder and white dreams. The was a lot of dust, because we had to sand the drywall, it was all over the place. And we ended up painting it white so it became a kind of... a shiny white space, our white dream. So, yes, we will also have a new rehearsal space soon and we'll personally and we'll personally invite you to the opening, so we can talk a bit, record something, you can see all these mighty accolades.

That's what I'm interested in, yes, to take a photo and release it to the public, into the world.

Bojan: Absolutely. I think the world needs to see it. It's imperative.

Do you already have a designer(f) for the awards?

Martin: Actually, we don't have one yet. But I promise we really will do our best with these awards, so maybe another band will join our label eager for the awards. We can also make some additional plans with them.

Jure: But that would mean some serious money, you know.

Others: Money talks.

Martin: Money talks, let's just put it that way.

Kris: When we sign the contract, we can go for a beer together.

Bojan: The only negative thing, I have to add, about applauding yourself in self-publishing, is that you pay for the awards yourself. So, we borrowed a lot of money as a band for these awards, but it's all worth it for the glitz and glamour.

Will the other band coming to your label, be called Joker In then?

Martin: Yeah, we'll see about that.

Jure: A wedding band, you know?

Martin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bojan: That's what they are, for weddings. A medley of Dalmatian songs, yeah. A six-hour repertoire, no biggie, and you can hire us from next April onwards, thank you.

Martin: Kidding aside, we've already received these kind of requests. For Dalmatian songs, weddings and stuff.

Bojan: Oh, yeah. I once made a joke on Val 202, when the host asked us about our repertoire, how many songs we performed, and I jokingly mentioned, that we also play a medley of Dalmatian songs, and then we received a couple of requests in the mail for birthdays and weddings.

Martin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jure: Oh, my.

When you're conditioning, you need to get as fit, as, let's say, the musicians out there on the rafts in Belgrade who play for eight hours straight without taking a break.

Bojan: But for the moment, I'll just say, that as far as the rafts go, we only ever go there to party. Otherwise, yeah, we've played once or twice with other bands at the same event and when the guys told us, how long their setlists were, we realised, that with one gig, they actually perform as much as we do in month, so...

Martin: But the guys also benefit financially, don't they.

A SEM TI POVEDAL

The next one will be 'A sem ti povedal'.

Kris: A sem ti povedal' is another exciting track from our album.

Bojan: They're all exciting...

Kris: Come on, they're all exciting songs, especially the exciting ones. It's special because it perhaps has the hardest sound...

Martin: It's dark, dark.

Kris: The hardest, darkest amongst all the songs on the album and for an extra touch of eroticism Erazem Grafenauer has recorded a classical guitar intro.

I've read somewhere that this is the most anticipated album of the year.

Bojan: Yeah, for us it is.

Jan: Yeah.

Bojan: We've been busy making it.

And last but not least, for the fans.

Bojan: There's absolutely a lot of people who couldn't wait for this album to be released.

Jan: Amongst others, the five of us.

Bojan: Amongst others, the five of us, most of all, definitely our parents. But, unfortunately, there were, unfortunately, the circumstances didn't allow us to get the album out sooner than we did. And we're glad we've released it now and that we have been able to introduce it to the world with these two concerts. So we have no idea if it's the most anticipated one. For us it was absolutely the most anticipated. But we hope that if this one wasn't, the next one will be.

You've placed yourself on the cover in colours.

Jan: Yes, in the colours of the ocean and the Power Rangers. Yes, we went to shoot that cover or the cover photo to a mansion.

Bojan: To Rogaška Slatina..

Jan: In Rogaška Slatina, yes. Jan Pirnat took the photo. So, yeah, basically this light beam represents our path as it bounces off various walls and eventually finds its way to the top.

Bojan: Plus, there is another explanation, that this beam basically represents the dirty thoughts that confront us, penetrate through us, and are then projected out into the world.

To the audience.

Bojan: That's right.

Otherwise, you also invest a lot in video production. In fact, you seem to support every single with a video.

Kris: Yeah, it seems to me the only right thing to do is to support every single with a video. Even if you don't, if we didn't want to, it's the modern standard. And many people might disagree, that we invest a lot in video production.

Martin: But we do.

Kris: We are making a huge effort. And the main thing is when we do videos, we also like to be involved in the actual writing of the script. and deciding what it's going to be about.

Jan: Every time we draw straws to see who's next, who's going to sacrifice a kidney for the production.

Bojan: Exactly. That's exactly it. We are missing a few kidneys in the band because of these videos.

Can your music be accessed via Facebook or in another way, through your website?

Martin: Our music is actually accessible, we've tried to make it accessible, it's virtually everywhere on the internet and through Facebook, Instagram, now even on TikTok. Maybe the label will consider, if it's worth releasing a TikTok single, because that's supposedly popular right now. Anyway, it's something to think about, but it's exciting. And we have a website, we're putting a lot of effort into it ourselves, to make it as organised as possible and appealing to everyone. Since the other day, you can also buy our CDs, T-shirts and sweatshirts and everything else to support the band, so we don't have to sacrifice as many kidneys in the future.

Kris: If not, there are also Russian torrent sites. Everything is available there as well.

Bojan: Besides, we sing in the Cyrillic alphabet,right?

But with advice like that, there will actually be one golden or platinum record less.

Kris: Yeah, what can I say, we have ourselves to blame.

Martin: Well, we also have one more record for torrent listeners, So basically, we are on trend, it seems to me, in this respect.

Kris: The ones from the Russian websites, are in this red and gold, very communist style, this...

BELE SANJE

Next up is 'Bele sanje'.

Kris: Yeah, that song, when we perform live, Bojan always mentions that it's about nightlife horrors. So, listen up.

To conclude, will you be applying for EMA?

Bojan: Hey, is that a girl, or what?

Bojan knows the girl quite well.

Bojan: Honestly, there hasn't been serious consideration of applying for EMA. Maybe if we ever get carried away. But it seems to us that now that Måneskin has won it would be a bit, how do you say, tacky, imitative, for us to give it a try now. Like, now it's an obvious recipe for victory. So we are waiting when the next extreme will emerge, that's totally the opposite of our band, and win Eurovision, and next year we'll apply.

Jure: Well, we would need some support. No, not for going to EMA...

Bojan: 100 million euros.

Jure: You've got a new piece of music and... You put on a show... and that's where it ends.

Bojan: That's it. Let's say 100 million euros of support would be lovely. If we can manage.

Martin: We'll ask the label to pay for it.

Jure: Or if you buy the merch, well, maybe. Or if someone... [inaudible]

Anyway, as I understand you are already creating new material?

Jure: We are creating new material. If not with guitars, then at least in our minds. So... It's forever bubbling in the depths of our ever-dirty minds.

Anyway, I guess, now you're aiming for as many stages as possible, and the listeners are welcome to check the schedule on all the social media sites...

Martin: And on the website

... because it can vary from day to day, right?

Kris: Yeah, at the moment, we have a lot of interest for our gigs up to the end of the year and we hope we'll be able to have I'm knocking on wood, 10 to 15 concerts more and it will basically serve as...

Bojan: A mini-tour.

Kris: A mini-tour for the 'Umazane misli' album launch. We begin... a couple of days ago we performed at Rakičan castle, it was awesome.

Otherwise, again, as Martin says, we should mention the website, because you're one of the few bands that still maintains it.

Martin: Right, but it's interesting that we set up this website as some kind of vital inconvenience, and it turns out that people really like to visit the website where you can always find information, where in your vicinity we are going to perform in the near future, and all other relevant news.

OMAMLJENO TELO

We will end with the song 'Omamljeno'.

Jan: Its full title is 'Omamljeno telo'. It's basically our earliest track on this album, which you can tell from Bojan's slightly more boyish voice.

Bojan: And Tomi Meglič impersonation.

Jan: Yeah, right.

Jan: ♪ For you ♪

Bojan: ♪ to conjure up... ♪

Jan: But yeah, I think this song is excting because, it is the same now, when it is released, as when it was created, on one of the first ever rehearsals.

Bojan: It's the only song actually, we brought into the studio and that's exactly how we recorded it.

Jan: We knew exactly what it should be and that's how it remained.

This is our final song. Jan, Bojan, Kris, Jure and Martin, thank you, for being guests on the RADIOaktivno show at Radio Prlek. Have a successful and most productive future.

Jan: Thank you very much for inviting us.

Others: Thank you.

Bojan: Thank you very much for the invitation, we wish you the same.

Kris: We will come again sometime.

Martin: We hope to be back with you soon.

I hope so.

Martin: We do too, thank you.

-~-~-~

Transcript + translation by: drumbeat and @varianestoroff, ENG review by IG Gboleyn123, CC by drumbeat, Tumblr transcript by @kurooscoffee.

DO NOT REPOST, and if you quote, please link back!

[choism]

The Romance Section | l.sm [REUPLOADED]

Customer!Seokmin x Bookstore Employee!gn!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary: In which you meet a stranger in a bookstore that loves romance novels just as much as you do

Warnings: None! Pure fluff

A/N: This is another reupload from my old blog @/huiranghaes! This work is mine and is NOT stolen or plagiarized. This fic was inspired by A Very Lush Holidays by @leejungchans my now beloved mutual and was proofread by Morgyn and Ae

Today was as boring as ever.

Your shifts always tend to go by slowly, only a few customers entering your small bookshop a day, but today seemed to be the worst. It was already 5pm and you have yet to see a single person enter today. Yeah, the store was fairly new and kind of in an obscure area, but it was the only bookshop around for at least 20 miles, do people not read books anymore?

Today felt like a failure, like all your hard work arranging the book displays to look pretty and your coworkers' cute bookshop design on the store window was all for naught.

“Oh cheer up y/n! I’m sure someone will come in eventually, we don’t close until 7pm anyway.” Your coworker nudges your side, her happy smile making you feel a bit better. She has always been a happy go lucky person, seeing the glass half full and wanting to bring out the best in people. You adored her attitude but on days like this you just couldn’t bring yourself to reciprocate those joyful feelings.

“Yeah, watch someone walk through that door 15 minutes before closing.” You roll your eyes. Normal people take their time perusing the selection of genres, trying to pick out a book that fits them, but there’s always someone who has to do this at the last possible minute. You push yourself off the counter and make your way to the back of the store to grab some more books for restocking.

Your coworker follows you to the back of the store. “Yeah but a customer is a customer right?” She bends down to pick up a box labeled ‘Romance’ and you take it from her. “Sure I guess you're right.” You give her a half hearted smile and head back to the main part of the shop, making your way to the romance novel section.

You begin stocking the shelves, maybe even glancing at some paragraphs of the books to see what you may want to read later. This section had always been your favorite, you enjoyed getting lost in the fantasies of a fictional relationship. While you knew that something as cheesy as finding your soulmate in an uncanny encounter would ever happen to you, you still admired the idea.

These novels were completely unrealistic and seemingly frivolous but it’s always nice to imagine a world where soulmates exist. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll find that tall handsome brunette with a gorgeous big nose. But there is no way that could ever happen, right? You catch yourself daydreaming and continue to stock the shelves. There may be no customers but stocking is still important.

Time passes by slowly as you make your way to the end of the romance shelf, and as you reach up to the top shelf to place a book you hear the door chime ring, signaling you that a customer has entered the store.

The sudden chime startles you and you drop the book on your head. You rub your head where the book hit you and curse at the sudden customer startling you. “Welcome in!” You hear your coworker yell as you assume the customer peruses the front of the store. You glance at the clock and of course, just as you had predicted earlier, it’s around 15 minutes from closing.

You let out a huff as you pick the book off the ground and reach for the top shelf again but you can’t really reach the top shelf anyway. You’re on your tippy toes trying to stretch to the shelf when the customer comes behind you and takes the book out of your hand, placing it gently in the empty space.

“Having trouble?” The stranger chuckles. You look up at him unamused, but when your eyes meet, you feel your heart catch in your throat. “Uh, well I… N-no.” It was like the man you had described just moments ago was summoned by god. Coincidence? Yeah probably, but you were feeling more hopeful than that. You were looking for a witty comment but couldn’t think of one, you were too distracted by how unbelievably attractive this man was.

Were you annoyed that he came in late? Absolutely. Did you forgive him immediately because his face was carved by angels? Of course. He laughed again and wow, even his laugh was perfect. “Right, because I totally didn’t hear a book drop on the ground when I came in.” You avert his gaze and huff through your nose.

“Anyway, can I help you?” You change the subject, the last thing you need is a customer to make fun of you, and right before closing at that. He moves past you and looks at the rows of books, before turning his head back towards you. “Actually yeah, I was wondering what new romance novels have come out recently.” He runs his finger along the spine of a few books.

“Yeah I just restocked the new arrivals! What kind of trope are you looking for?” You ask. It’s rare that a man is into romance books, so his interest piques yours. “I was looking for maybe enemies to lovers, I haven’t read one of those in a while.”

A huge smile runs across your face and you visibly get excited, startling him a bit. Little did he know, enemies to lovers was your specialty. “That’s actually one of my favorite tropes! We just got in this book, a new series by one of my favorite authors!” You hand him the book and he checks it out.

Unbeknownst to you, this handsome stranger was analyzing you this entire time. He wasn’t expecting such a beautiful person like you to be stocking the romance shelves of this small niche store. 

You mentioning his favorite author makes him swallow a sudden lump in his throat, he is really glad Wonwoo recommended this bookstore, even though he went through hell and highwaters to get here. 

A forty five minute drive from his apartment to be exact, they say curiosity killed the cat, but in this case the cat falls in love instead.

“This is one of my favorite authors too! I really liked their previous series, the ending was insane!” He laughs. Man his laugh was like listening to angels sing.

As he laughs you take the chance to analyze his facial features. Everytime he smiled his eyes would turn upwards as if they were smiling as well, and his actual smile was breathtaking. His jaw was so well defined you were sure it could be registered as a weapon and don’t even get you started on his nose.

Chiseled by the gods themselves you swear, such a deep bridge and so pointed and defined, you just want to kiss it. Wait, back up, kiss it? Were you fully falling for this handsome stranger? You only met him 10 minutes ago, how could this be? 

Before you could question your emotions even further, he snaps you back to reality by waving a hand in front of your face. “Hello? I asked how much the book is.” Your face turns a bit red from embarrassment and you quickly respond.

“Oh sorry, I can get your total up front.” You walk quickly towards the checkout counter and he follows behind. You can see your coworker lurking in the back of the store, curious and probably eavesdropping.

He examines every little detail of you as you walk towards the cash register. The way you have a bounce in your walk makes him smile brightly, but he notices your coworker staring and snickering at his reaction, and his face flushes pink.

He places the book on the counter and rummages for his wallet in his bag. You ring up the book and secretly place a small discount on the book but don’t tell him that, obviously. “Okay so your total is-” You look up from the computer and catch him placing a small piece of paper with words and numbers scribbled on it underneath the tip jar.

He freezes dead in his track and his ears light up a bright red. “I, um well, this is…” The stranger hurriedly slams a $20 on the counter before you can even say the total. He grabs the books and runs out of the store, the chime of the door ringing in his wake.

Your coworker starts to laugh maniacally and emerges from the back of the store.”He sure left in a hurry.” She snorts. You glare at her and take the piece of paper and read it.

‘I didn’t know how to tell you this in person, but I find you very attractive and your love of books fascinates me

Maybe we can run into each other in the sci-fi section next time ;)

- Seokmin

You feel your face get hot and your heart skip a beat. He found you attractive? You just met, though. Your coworker peers over your shoulder and giggles. ‘Oooo an admirer! Isn’t that exciting!”

“Shut up and start closing the store!”

© Choism 2023. do not repost or translate.

[subskz]

treat - h.js

note: this is a reupload from my old blog

content: sub jisung, dom reader, reader’s sex is unspecified, puppyplay, praise, footjob, edging, orgasm control, slight foodplay (?), a bit of aftercare

word count: 3.9k

“Jisung!” You called, pushing your apartment door open with your hip. You set down the grocery bags you’d been carrying with a heavy exhale, cursing yourself for being too stubborn to bring them up in more than one trip.

The boy in question raised his head from where he was lying on the couch. You softened as his cheerful face came into view. “You’re back!” He chirped, sitting up in his spot.

Jisung had stayed home while you’d gone out to buy some groceries, claiming that he had a lot of work to do. You were fairly certain that he’d just said that as an excuse to not change out of his pajamas, but you ultimately decided to leave him be anyway.

“Mhm, and I brought snacks!” You sang, swinging a plastic bag of goodies around.

Jisung’s eyes lit up, and he threw a hand over his heart. “Thank God,” He wailed dramatically. “I’ve been working so hard, I wasn’t sure how much longer I would last.”

His theatrics made you giggle, and you turned to unload the bags before he could see the fond look on your face. “What would you do without me, hm?” You hummed.

Jisung rested his head back against the arm of the sofa. “Don’t even wanna think about it.”

Once you’d finished putting everything away, you grabbed the bag that contained the various snacks and you made your way over to him. Jisung’s hair was tousled, sticking out cutely in all directions, and one of the sleeves of his hoodie was pulled up much higher than the other. He looked like a mess—adorably so.

“How are the lyrics coming along?” You asked, flopping down on the cushions next to him. Jisung turned his phone towards you, still open on his notes app. There were a few lines typed out, but other than that the screen was mostly blank.

You raised an eyebrow. “Working hard, huh?”

Your stern tone made him whine defensively. “Don’t scold me.” He pulled the hood of his sweater over his head. “It’s not easy.”

“I thought you were a genius, Han Jisung.”

“Not when my muse is gone,” He declared. “I miss you too much.”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt to appeal to you, trying your hardest to suppress a smile. “Genius and a sweet talker, lucky me.” You played along, digging among the snacks to pull out a bag of chips. Jisung peeked out from under the fabric of his hoodie, leaning forward eagerly when he noticed the brand—they were his favorite.

“Why don’t you recharge, yeah?” You suggested, popping open the bag. Jisung instantly scooted closer. You titled the chips in his direction, inviting him to help himself, but he made no move to take any.

You gave him a questioning look, and Jisung wordlessly pushed out his bottom lip into a pout, eyes pleading.

“Ah...you’re such a baby.” You huffed, realizing right away what he wanted.

Jisung simply smiled back, his lips curving inward cutely. Despite your complaint, you reached into the bag and pulled out a handful of chips. He opened wide as you dropped a few into his mouth, humming contentedly before he crunched down.

“These are the best.” He announced, cheeks full. “Even better when they’re fed to me.”

Jisung wiggled his eyebrows at you, and you clicked your tongue without any real annoyance behind it. “I think I’ve spoiled you too much.” You sighed.

Jisung settled himself into the back cushion of the couch, unlocking his phone again. “It’s more effective if I work this way.” He insisted. “And now that you’re here, I can focus properly.”

Though you knew he was purposely being over-the-top about his affections, your heart fluttered nonetheless. Jisung always seemed to have that effect on you. You got comfortable yourself, hand diving back into the bag to retrieve more chips. As Jisung began typing away at his phone, you leaned over to feed him some more.

He opened his mouth for you without taking his eyes off the screen, and you admired the serious look on his face as he brainstormed. Jisung’s lyrics always came to him either in sudden bursts, or over painfully long periods of time—there was no middle ground for him.

You continued passing chips to him periodically, taking some for yourself in between. As you watched the way he compliantly opened his mouth each time, a mischievous idea came to mind.

You grabbed two or three chips and brought your hand to Jisung’s face, just as you’d been doing. Naturally, he leaned towards you, parting his lips to take the snack into his mouth—but it never came. You pulled your hand away bit by bit the more he inched closer, a smile forming on your face as his lips kept missing his target.

It took a few moments for Jisung to register what was going on, and he finally tore his eyes away from his phone screen to give you a look of adorable confusion.

“No fair,” He whined, seeing the amusement written all over your face. “You’re teasing me while I’m in the zone.”

“I can’t help it. You’re so cute when you’re concentrating.” You giggled, pulling away just in time as Jisung stretched forward to snatch a chip with his mouth. He sat back with a defeated huff, and for good measure, you waved your hand around playfully in front of him.

“Say please,” You hummed.

Jisung’s eyes followed the path of your hand as you taunted him, his head tilting from side to side with each movement. Assuming that he was just playing along, your giggles turned into a full laugh. “You look like a puppy begging at the dinner table.”

The lighthearted atmosphere faltered a bit when Jisung didn’t respond. Instead, he kept watching your hand with wide eyes, almost as if he’d become locked in some kind of trance. His strange reaction caught you off guard, and you wondered with a start if you’d said something wrong.

“Jisung?” Your voice softened.

He blinked slowly a few times before responding. “Mm?” He cocked his head, grip on his phone loosening so that it toppled unceremoniously onto the couch cushion.

Growing worried, lowered your hand and carefully dropped the chips you’d been holding back into the bag. As expected, Jisung’s gaze—somehow wider and more awestruck than usual—followed you, locking on the chip bag.

His behavior had you taken aback, but you couldn’t help but consider an explanation that nagged at the back of your mind.

Jisung had shown small hints of this behavior before—going oddly quiet, watching you with wide, expectant eyes, and hanging on to your every word as if he were awaiting some kind of order. You were no stranger to the signs he was exhibiting, and after a handful of instances, the two of you had eventually sat down to have an only slightly awkward discussion about the premise of petplay.

Though you’d never quite tried it out together, Jisung had shyly admitted to you that it was something he would be very interested in. It may have been a stretch, but the sudden shift in his attitude led you to believe that maybe this was his way of initiating it.

Deciding to test the waters, you shook the chip bag a few times. “You want these, Sungie?” You asked tentatively, raising the pitch of your voice.

Jisung straightened up at your change in tone, licking his lips and beginning to squirm a bit in his spot. “If you want a treat, you’ve gotta show me that you’re a good puppy.” You continued carefully.

He nodded instantly, and you felt a tinge of relief, taking his reactiveness as a good sign. You pondered your next move before speaking up again, growing more firm with your words.

“A good puppy doesn’t sit on the couch without permission.” You frowned at him. Jisung scrambled to the floor in a matter of seconds, and your expression softened again when he crawled over to sit at your feet.

“Good boy.” You praised. You gave your thigh a pat, and he came to rest his chin on it obediently. “Hannie’s gonna do whatever he’s told right?” You asked, bringing your hand to stroke his head gently.

Jisung was unable to nod against your leg, and instead he let out a small noise of agreement. His big, earnest stare bore into you from below as he awaited your next command.

“You’re so quiet, puppy.” You commented. “Let me hear you speak.”

He lifted his head, a brief look of hesitation passing his face. You faltered for a moment, wondering if you’d crossed a line, only to relax again when Jisung let out a shy bark. He finally broke eye contact out of embarrassment, cheeks flushing, and you moved your hand to scratch under his chin reassuringly.

“Good boy,” You cooed, your approval making his face light up. “My puppy has such a cute voice.”

You reached into the bag, and Jisung perked up when you pulled out a chip. You waved your hand around just like before, his hopeful gaze following it. “You want your treat?”

Jisung barked softly again, curling his hands against his chest in a silent beg. “Ask nicely,” You ordered.

“Please…” He breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Want a treat please.”

With a smile, you lowered your hand, and Jisung eagerly took the chip into his mouth.

As you fondly watched him chew, the growing bulge in Jisung’s shorts caught your attention, and your smile widened. “Hm...what’s this?” You drawled in mock surprise. “Something got you excited, Hannie?”

Jisung swallowed hard, blush deepening and telling you all that you needed to know. He lowered his hands in a pointless attempt to cover himself, releasing the tiniest whine.

“Don’t be shy,” You encouraged, petting his soft hair. “C’mon, lemme see how worked up my puppy made himself.”

Jisung ducked his head, but obeyed you without hesitation. As soon as his hands uncovered his clothed length, you moved your foot to press down on it gently.

He gasped at the unexpected pleasure, his reaction making your spine tingle. “So sensitive.” You murmured. “You like this?”

“Yes!” Jisung whimpered as you toyed with his cock ever so slightly. “R-really…like it.” His hands came to lay flat on the ground to support himself, arms already trembling.

You rolled your foot around his length rhythmically, relishing in the soft noises bubbling in his throat. His eyes squeezed shut as you applied more pressure, and another whine escaped him, louder this time as his impatience grew. “Did hearing how good you are for me get you like this?”

Jisung nodded frantically, letting out a low moan. “Yes...hah...I’m your g-good boy.” He managed to stutter.

You removed your foot, a pathetic mewl escaping Jisung as you did. His eyes fluttered open, wide as ever, and your heart skipped a beat over his lost expression. He looked so innocent, so ready to meet your every demand.

Despite his obvious disappointment with the loss, Jisung didn’t complain. You scratched underneath his chin affectionately, and he lifted his head for you like a reflex.

“I wanna see just how well you can behave.” You announced, using your other hand to tap your own chin thoughtfully. Jisung cocked his head curiously at that, straightening up in his spot.

An idea immediately came to mind, and you grinned, leaning down until your lips were next to Jisung’s ear. “I’m gonna make you feel good, Sungie, but you have to promise me you won’t cum until you get permission. Think you can do that for me?”

Jisung swallowed hard, his expression full of nervous determination. “Y-yes...Sungie will be good. Promise.”

You gave his cheek an approving pat before pulling back slightly. His breath hitched when your hands snaked down to tug at the waistband of his shorts. Jisung instantly lifted his hips for you, and you pulled the garment off with ease, allowing his now fully hard length to spring free.

“Cute,” You marveled. “My poor puppy’s so hungry for attention.”

Jisung whined, his hips jerking up as if to wordlessly agree. Your eyes raked over his body before you brought your foot back to his cock. He gasped even louder than before, the sensation of your skin against his bare length sending sparks of electricity through him.

“Remember, be a good boy and don’t cum until I say.” You commanded gently, beginning to move your foot along his dick. Jisung let out a strained whimper before nodding, his eyes fluttering shut once again.

You slid your foot up and down slowly before stopping at the head of his length to tease it. He mewled your name weaky as you rubbed his slit, and his arms began to tremble once more. “So cute,” You cooed, repeating the action. “Is Hannie feeling good?”

Jisung panted lightly a few times before answering. “Ngh...so good.” He breathed. “M-more...more, please.”

There was a desperation in his tone that sent a shiver down your spine, and you obliged. You began to move with more urgency, stimulating every sensitive inch of Jisung’s dick. The boy cried out sharply at the sudden increase in speed, bucking up against you needily.

You took your eyes off his aching length to drink in the sight of him. His eyes were still shut tight, and his head was thrown back as delicious moans spilled out of his parted lips. You applied more pressure, and just moments later, his warning cry filled the room.

“G-gonna cum!” Jisung stammered between moans. “Can I...hah...can I p-please?”

You made no move to slow down despite the way his dick twitched under your touch, instead continuing your steady pace. “So soon?” You frowned. “C’mon, angel, you can hold out for me.”

A miserable, high-pitched whimper left Jisung in response, but he obeyed nonetheless. His thighs began to shake along with his arms, and his sounds melted into each other as they grew more and more frequent. You admired the way his brows furrowed intently as he focused all his energy into delaying his orgasm.

It wasn’t until Jisung began writhing helplessly beneath you that you finally removed your foot.

He gasped weakly, his hips surging upward in a desperate attempt to seek out more friction. His chest heaved as his high quickly escaped him, and you leaned down to cup his cheek gently.

“Good boy,” You praised, voice dripping with pride. “You handled that so well. Such an obedient puppy.”

Jisung blinked up at you, giving a lopsided grin in response to your adoring words. His breathing began to slow back to normal—though his cock was still red and dripping with precum, making his ache for release hard to ignore.

You reached into the chip bag once more, and Jisung’s glossy eyes lit up.

“Does Sungie want another treat for being so good?” You cooed. Jisung simply parted his lips, sticking out his tongue for you eagerly. You placed the chip in his mouth, suppressing a giggle with how quickly he crunched down on it.

He hummed when your hand rested on his head, stroking his hair gently as he chewed away.

Once he’d swallowed, the boy looked up at you expectantly, waiting for your next order. You ran your fingers through his locks one last time before leaning back against the couch. “Are you ready to go again?”

Jisung perked up at the question, spreading his thighs ever so slightly. He sucked in a sharp breath as you brought your foot to his length once more, making his whole body tense up.

“Same rules, puppy.” You reminded him as you began to move. “I know you can do it.”

He pressed his lips together in determination, the action puffing his full cheeks out adorably.

A warm feeling spread through your chest as you observed Jisung, heeding your commands as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Self-control wasn’t typically his strong suit, but with every soft moan and stutter of his hips you could see just how badly he wanted to behave for you, and it made your heart swell.

An especially high-pitched cry from Jisung snapped you from your thoughts, and you realized you’d slid your foot along his dripping head. “Did that feel good?” You asked innocently.

He bit his trembling lower lip and nodded. “Want me to do it again?”

“You c-can’t!” He gasped out weakly. You raised an eyebrow at him, and he immediately shrank into himself, averting his gaze in quick surrender. “S-sorry…” He whimpered. “It’s just...I’ll c-cum. If you keep d-doing that I’ll cum.”

You tilted your head to the side, circling your toes around his cock lightly. “Mm...but Hannie’s a good puppy.” You reasoned. “I know he won’t cum without permission.”

There was a moment of hesitation, then Jisung gave in. “Y-yes,” He agreed softly. “Good...‘m good.” The word seemed to have a hypnotic effect on him, as if hearing it washed away any misgivings or uncertainties he might have.

“That’s it.” You purred, increasing the pressure of your foot against him. You ran it along his slit, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body once more. Jisung practically keened at the feeling, and the filthy noise aroused you more than you’d like to admit.

It wasn’t long before he began twitching wildly again, and you knew by how quickly he was unraveling before you that he wouldn’t be able to take much more.

He threw his head back in ecstasy as you sped up your movements, letting his moans spill out of him without any restraint. “A-Ah!” He gasped. “G-gonna cum! Please let me, please!”

You hummed in response to his begging, as if carefully considering the possibility. “Hmm...I dunno, puppy. I think you can last a little longer, don’t you?”

The boy let out a choked sob, trying with all his might to contain his rapidly approaching orgasm. “Please,” His voice cracked, interrupting the near-chorus of sounds leaving him.

Despite the pity you felt at the sight of him, your delight easily outweighed it, and you continued to rub his length for a few more moments before pulling away.

A long, pathetic groan escaped Jisung. His length continued to jerk against his stomach as his orgasm was denied for the second time. You made a sympathetic noise, bringing your hands to cup his face just as you had the first time.

Jisung opened his eyes to meet yours, his gaze watery and disoriented. He looked so far gone, as if the only thing occupying his mind was whatever you chose to fill it with.

“Look at that.” You squished his cheeks together lovingly as you spoke. “You did so well for me, Hannie, I’m so proud of you.”

You placed a soft kiss on his nose to boot, and the action seemed to re-energize him. “Thank you.” He slurred.

You flashed him a warm smile, reaching your hand into the bag for another reward.

“I’m lucky to have such a well-trained puppy.” You murmured as he enthusiastically took the chip into his mouth. “So good at listening to his owner.”

Without warning, you pressed your foot down on Jisung’s length for the third time. He squeaked in surprise, his hips jerking up at the sudden contact.

You used your foot to smear the precum that had gathered at his tip along the rest of his cock, earning a sinful whine.

His sensitivity had increased tenfold from being worked to the brink of his high twice, and you relished in each and every one of his cute reactions. Even the slightest movement on your part pushed him closer to his limit, which only encouraged you to test it more.

You slipped your foot underneath his length to press it up against his stomach, and Jisung released a moan so shameless that you felt yourself twitch. With his cock now steady in place against him, you were able to slide up and down even faster than before.

Jisung’s cries quickly burst into the room, pouring out of him nonstop in a string of pleasure. You admired the way his thighs clenched and unclenched in unison with his rapid breaths. His head began thrashing from side to side as you kept up your merciless pace.

“You sound so pretty, Hannie. Maybe I should just keep teasing you like this forever.” You mused.

Jisung whined in response, proving your point even further. His legs began to quiver once more, and he bucked his hips up wildly, no longer concerned with trying to contain himself.

“You gonna cum?” You rubbed your sole against his head to elicit another pitiful sound. “Is my puppy gonna cum all over himself?”

“Y-yes!” Jisung moaned, a trail of drool spilling out of the corner of his mouth. “Feels...ah! So good, ‘m gonna cum…!”

Before he could even beg you for permission, you granted it to him. “Go ahead,” You urged. “Let it all out, you’ve earned it.”

To emphasize your words, you slid your toe along his slit once more, and just like that, Jisung came undone.

He cried out sinfully as his seed shot out of him. The spurts were so strong that they splashed his face, decorating his skin with the sticky fluid.

Jisung whimpered your name as pleasure racked his body, several more pearly ropes seeping into his hoodie.

It took several moments for him to come down from his high, and you admired his cum-stained face as he did. Jisung slowly blinked his eyes open, all the lust from earlier now replaced with a sleepy haze.

He looked up at you, lips still parted as he tried to catch his breath to speak.

“Water.” He rasped.

The request took you by surprise, and you felt a tinge of guilt for not considering how thirsty the chips would have made him. You instantly rose from the couch to go retrieve a bottle from the fridge, grabbing a napkin with you on the way back.

Jisung smiled at you gratefully when you returned and unscrewed the cap for him. You tilted the bottle gently, and he drank to his heart’s content. As he did so, you used the napkin to delicately wipe his face clean of his seed.

By the time he’d finished, Jisung had downed nearly half the bottle, and you felt your guilt increase. “Ah...I’m sorry, angel.” You murmured. “I should’ve checked on you earlier.”

Jisung shook his head as if to dismiss the idea. “S’okay.” He assured you. “Didn’t even realize I was thirsty ‘till now.”

His words comforted you somewhat, but seeing his worn out state still had you concerned. Putting the water bottle to the side, you crouched down to carefully tuck Jisung back into his boxers. 

He watched you, eyes half-lidded and dreamy, as you shifted back to the couch. You settled into the cushions before patting your legs to invite him over. Jisung complied immediately—albeit with less energy than when you’d ordered him onto the floor earlier.

He curled up snugly into your lap, his frame meshing perfectly against yours. You wrapped your arms securely around him and planted a soft kiss to his forehead.

“How are you feeling, Hannie?” You whispered.

Jisung nestled his head into your neck, letting out a blissful sigh. “So happy.” He mumbled into your skin. “So sleepy.”

There was a pause before he giggled that familiar, awkward giggle. “I’m never gonna be able to eat those chips the same way again.”

[k-evans-reads]

In Living Color

Chapter 8

Summary: When Natalie Marton, lead character designer for Buzz Lightyear, meets the voice of Buzz, Chris Evans, the sparks are undeniable. But when their work pushes them away from each other, both physically and emotionally, will the sheer differences between their worlds be enough to force them apart?

Pairing: Chris Evans x Pixar Animator OFC Natalie Marton

Word Count: 4,256

By: @k-evans-writes and @ourfinest-hour

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Warnings: Sexual content. 18+ ONLY. MINORS DNI! We block minors!

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

June 14th, 2021 

Nat rubbed her eyes with a yawn as she listened to the phone ring, hoping she wouldn’t wake him before he had planned on getting up for the evening’s night shoots. As the call continued to ring she contemplated hanging up and just texting him instead, but Chris answered. “Happy day after your birthday,” she laughed, smiling widely as he chuckled, his voice raspy with sleep. “Feel old yet?” 

“Based on how sore I’ve been all week, I think I’ve felt old for a while now,” he groaned, making Nat laugh a little, although she knew it was the truth. He’d been hard at work the past few weeks, busy with stunt sequences she couldn’t even picture in her mind based on the vague descriptions he’d shared. “Turning forty is just the nail in the coffin.” 

She tutted, telling him, “Well you don’t look a day over thirty-nine.” 

He scoffed, his voice unconvincing as he replied, “Thanks, that really makes me feel a lot better, Nat.” 

“How was your birthday?” 

“It was fine, just was on set all day. I got to talk to Ma and my sisters and my nephews and niece sang to me which was fuckin’ cute,” he informed her, but then paused as he yawned. “Then I also got this really incredible drawing of Buzz Lightyear with Dodger in place of Sox.” 

She smirked, having been waiting for his reaction to that gift in particular. “Oh did you?” She asked, her voice plain. 

“Yeah, this really talented artist I know made it for me,” he played along. “I think she might know that I love handmade gifts, and this is my favorite gift I’ve gotten in a long time.” 

Her heart skipped a beat at the praise, wanting nothing more than to be there with him, especially on his special week. “I’m really glad you liked it,” she told him quietly.

Chris’ voice was anything but teasing when he interjected, “I like you a lot more.” 

Nat sighed, the longing only intensifying the more he spoke and shared what he’d been feeling. “...I wish it wasn’t another month until I see you,” she murmured, unable to stop imagining that day in July when he finally arrived back in California to see her. 

“Me too, Nat,” he whispered back, the rasp in his voice sending a chill down her spine. “So what are you doing today?” 

“Just going to work. I’m meeting with some of the animators and they’re going to show me some of the chunks of Lightyear that’s done,” she shrugged to herself before she yawned quietly, the early hour something she wasn’t used to lately. “I’ll send you some videos.” 

“You better!” He laughed, and it did nothing to quell the emotions she felt. “I was wondering if you were going in early… normally you’re still asleep now.” 

But Nat shook her head, more to herself than to anyone, as she unplugged her phone from the charger and moved to lay on her back again. “I couldn’t sleep so I figured I’d just call you instead,” she informed him. 

“I’m glad you did. I’m still in bed too,” he mumbled, then paused while Nat stayed quiet and didn’t make any noise of acknowledgement. “...You okay, Nattie?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she explained, then bit her lip before she decided to just go for it, not being able to hold back her emotions any longer. “It’s just that it’s cold in bed and I’m alone and I’m not getting touched by you and I miss your kisses, and I miss you.” 

She could hear his sharp intake of breath and a muffled sound as the blankets moved around him, then Chris told her with a low voice, “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now than have my hands on you.” 

She all but shivered then, her voice unsteady as her longing turned into desire. “That makes two of us,” she replied. 

“I wish I was in bed next to you right now, Nattie,” he told her, his voice clear as she switched the call to speaker, putting the phone down on the bed next to her “I wish I could hold you tight and kiss every inch of you.” 

“Chris…” 

He was quiet, and the only sound that filled the room were Nat’s deep pants until he finally asked, “...Do you want me to stop?” 

“No.” 

“Nattie, I want you to touch yourself for me,” he instructed, his voice dangerously low as Nat’s fingers moved instinctively. “God, you have no idea how many times I’ve dreamt of you.” 

She nearly whimpered at a twist of her finger, unable to focus on anything except the sound of his voice and the touch of her hand. “I wish you were the one touching me,” she admitted with a whine. 

He chuckled, and Nat could nearly picture the devilish smirk on his face when he told her, “That makes two of us.” 

Her head flew back against the pillow, jaw dropping as she let out a moan then said, “I can’t wait until you’re back.” 

“I want to be with you right fuckin’ now,” he muttered, pausing as he shifted on the other end of the call, then told her, “I want to be the one touchin’ you, Nattie.” 

She couldn’t catch her breath for a few moments, feeling something build inside her. “You will be,” she whimpered as she slipped another finger inside of herself. 

“I wanna be kissin’ you and suckin’ on your neck that had you moaning that last night,” he rambled, voice sending waves of electricity through Nat and spurring her on. “I want my fingers to be the ones inside you. I wanna grab that pretty ass of yours, Nattie.” 

“Chris,” she moaned, unable to stop the nearly incoherent sounds from pouring out of her. 

He groaned on the other end of the call, silent until he ground out, “You like thinking of me touchin’ you, Nattie?” 

“God, yes,” she replied, wishing so badly that she could touch him, picturing the tattooed chest in her mind, with the chain dangling between his pecs as his hands moved over and in her. 

A low, dangerous chuckle spilled from his lips before he admitted, “I can’t wait until I get to have my hands all over you. I’m going to need to take my time with you when I get back.” 

She whimpered as she hit that spot inside of her, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before she instructed, “You better.” 

“God, your moans are so pretty, Nat. I’m goin’ crazy thinking of you laying in bed touchin’ yourself for me,” he moaned himself, his voice sounding strained as he panted. “Fuck, Nattie, I want you so bad.” 

“I just,” she moaned, unable to catch her breath. “I need, oh!” 

“I know you’re close, Nattie. Keep touchin’ yourself for me,” he all-but ordered, Nat following his instructions without hesitation as her fingers moved, pushing her closer and closer to the edge until she hit her peak. “I can’t wait until those are my fingers inside you makin’ you moan like this. Can’t fuckin’ wait to memorize the way you look coming apart for me.” 

But Nat couldn’t even respond for a moment as she layed in bed panting, her lungs trying to catch her breath while she felt her body relaxing into the sheets as she came down from her high. Her eyes fluttered closed for a moment, just relishing in the feelings washing over her body until Chris’ low voice asked from the other end of the line, “Feelin’ good, Nattie?” 

“That was a good way to wake up,” she couldn’t help but laugh, running a hand through her sweat-soaked curls. 

He huffed, letting out a small sigh as he stretched. Nat ached again to be next to him, to feel his muscles behind her as he agreed, “You’re telling me.” 

“Chris?” She asked, voice small. She paused until he hummed, then told him, “I really miss you.” 

Chris let out another laugh, voice dripping with sarcasm as he said, “I could tell.” 

“That’s not what I meant, asshole,” she rolled her eyes, listening fondly at his laughter. “I mean that I really just… miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Nattie. I really do,” he assured her, his tone serious this time. 

She listened to his breathing, almost able to pretend he was there next to her if she closed her eyes. “Only one more month,” she said, more to herself than anything. 

“One more month.” 

Chris listened to what Joe was telling him before the director stepped back up to the monitor, watching through the last scene again. The directors motioned for the actors to take fifteen while they got ready to rerun the last take, so Chris gladly took the chance to sit down. 

It’d been a long few weeks away from home – away from everyone except for Scott – and while he was having fun on his first big project since he left Marvel, he was still finding it hard to get back into the rhythm of shooting after traveling so much, and after his unexpected break in 2020. 

With a quiet thanks to Scott as his brother – and assistant, as much as Scott hated the title – handed him a water bottle, he listened as Scott quietly told him, “Hey Chris, Nat texted me and said she’s trying to get a hold of you.” 

“Okay, I’ll call her,” he nodded, a little confused at what was up. Nat always respected when he was working, careful to not text more than once or twice without a reply when he was on set. But to go through Scott made him worried, although he did remind himself that it was likely just something funny or lighthearted… or Nat thinking about earlier. “Do you have my phone?” 

Scott nodded, digging into his pocket and pulling out Chris’ old iPhone. “Yeah here you go,” he paused, handing the phone to Chris. He was quiet as Chris turned on the screen, taking in the several missed calls and notifications from her. “She left you a voicemail too.” 

He thanked Scott and got up, heading off the set to near where the trailers were. He quickly dialed her number, thankful when she answered and told her,  “Hi Nattie.” 

“Hey I’m sorry to bug you while you’re working, I’m just so upset,” she explained, pausing and leading Chris to worry even more. “I went to the gym and my car got stolen.” 

He honestly couldn’t have even dreamed of that being the subject of her displeasure, instead imagining a shitty work day or some stupid argument with her sisters. But he realized there was no way Nat could even get by for a week with no car, especially with her schedule. To get a rideshare onto the Pixar Campus would be challenging enough, and for someone like Nat, it’d be a cause of anxiety. But his fears didn’t stop there, instead he was uncomfortable with the knowledge that someone hurt her, even indirectly, and took something from her. She took so much pride in that car, loving it so much, and it was something he always associated with her – that orange SUV was literally the love of her life. “What?!” 

“My car got stolen,” she repeated, sniffling before she cursed to herself. “I was at the gym and when I came out there was broken glass on the ground and my car was gone.” 

“Nat, are you okay?” He asked, louder than he intended.

He didn’t even realize Scott had made his way over until he felt a tap on his shoulder, and he spun around to look at his worried face as he asked, “What’s going on?” 

“Nat’s car got stolen,” he told Scott quietly, then stared in front of him and repeated, “Are you okay, Nat? Where are you now?” 

“I’m at home. I’m okay, I’m just really frustrated,” she admitted, groaning out in annoyance. 

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, quiet as he thought for a moment. “Did you already report it to the police?” He asked her, his voice lower. 

“Yeah I called them and they came to the gym and filed a report,” she explained, then let out a bitter laugh. “As sad as I am about my car, I’m almost more annoyed I left my purse in the car because I had to go get my spare key from Mark so driving in rush hour traffic to his house probably made me more annoyed than anything.” 

But Chris felt his heart all but stop at her brief expansion of the story, realizing one key detail from it. “Your purse was in the car?” He asked her slowly. 

“I had left it but-”

“Nat, you need to go to my house,” he rushed out, motioning for Scott to hand him his phone. 

“What? Why?” 

He let out a short breath, then explained, “If they have your purse they have your keys, driver’s license, and your work ID and everything.” 

“I know but they can’t get onto campus because my work badge has my picture,” she informed him, her voice a little frustrated. “And they don’t know where I live.”

“Yes they do, it’s on your license and car registration,” he reminded her. He was terrified at the thought of Nat in that apartment, alone with an already questionable door, while some assholes had not only her address, but her keys as well. It was asking for trouble and he couldn’t let her mess with her own safety like this. “Nattie, this is really bad.” 

But Nat was nothing if not stubborn and independent, and it showed when she replied, “I’m sure they ditched my purse and just wanted the car.” 

“But you don’t know that,” he tried to reason, already searching for security camera companies on Scott’s phone, trying to get someone to go to her apartment. “Nattie, I really want you to go stay at my house.” 

She sighed in frustration, telling him, “Chris, I’m sure it’s fine. I doubt they even found my keys with how messy my purse is.” 

“Look, Nat, I’m not trying to freak you out but I’m really worried about someone having the keys to your apartment. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he admitted, closing his eyes as he imagined the worst possible outcome. “Please go spend the night at my house, just for tonight. I need to know that you’re safe.” 

Nat was quiet for a few moments, enough that he almost thought she was finally getting it – getting how fucking terrified this made him – until she quietly protested, “I’m sure I’ll be okay.” 

“Nattie… please? For me?” He nearly whispered, jaw clenched. 

He focused on every tiny noise from her end of the call, the short huff of breath and sigh before she finally agreed, “...Okay, but only if you’re sure.” 

“I’m texting you the code right now,” he told her, pulling the phone away and sending her the code to his garage and gate. “And Nat, I’m going to have someone come and change your locks and put up some security cameras at your apartment. I’ll have Scott set it up and let you know when they’re coming.” 

“You really don’t need to do that, Chris,” she murmured, voice small. 

“Trust me, there’s no way I’ll sleep if I don’t,” he confessed, a short laugh almost escaping him before he heard something behind him near the set, then Scott tapped his shoulder and motioned that it was time to resume filming again. “Hey, I’ve got to get back to set, but promise me you’ll leave right now and text me when you get to my house.” 

He could hear her phone buzz as the text arrived, along with another right after it. “I’m grabbing my backpack right now and I’ll call Mark or Jamie to give me a ride,” she told him, her voice slightly muffled as she moved around her apartment. 

“Okay, I’ve got to go back to set but I’ll call you as soon as I’m done,” he murmured, waving his hand as a PA started motioning him over. “And will you text Scott when you get to my place?” 

“I promise I will,” she assured him, sounding a little less frustrated and upset… finally. 

They both shared their goodbye’s before Chris clicked the red button on the phone and let out a long sigh to try to relieve the tension that he’d been holding in his body. A hand came up to scratch at his beard while Scott put a hand on his shoulder as he commented, “That didn’t sound good.” 

“It’s not. Nat’s keys and everything were in her purse that she left in the car,” he told his brother, shaking his head as they made their way back on set and he handed Scott his phone. “Scott, I found a security camera company here, can you call them and have them go install cameras at Nat’s place? And then also call somewhere and get someone to go change her locks? I think you already have my wallet so you can use my card.” 

“I’ll take care of it,” Scott promised, already tapping away at his phone. “And I’ll let you know when she texts me.” 

Chris nodded, mind racing as he told him, “Let me know as soon as you can.” 

Chris glanced over at the director who was waving him over incessantly now, and he patted Scott’s shoulder to silently say thank you before jogging back over to the camera. He got into position, but while they adjusted the lighting, he couldn’t help but find his mind wandering. He’d known Nat since February and had found that in that time, she’d slipped into his life so effortlessly, ever since that first day he’d seen her crashing into the glass door of that Pixar conference room. 

But this was a wake up call for him. He knew he liked Nat, but for the first time he recognized just how deep he’d fallen in for her without even realizing it. The thought of anything even remotely happening to her was almost too much to bear. Thinking of Nat being upset about her car, let alone the thought that something bad happening to her made him sick to his stomach and longing to jump on a plane right then and there to go back to her. He couldn’t stand the thought of not having her and that was something he was finally starting to realize. 

He’d known for a long time that he was interested in her. Nat had intrigued him with her humor, talent, and confidence, but the more he’d gotten to know her, the more he’d found things that he loved about her. She was so sensitive and touched by everything. She was down to earth and didn’t take herself too seriously. But she was vulnerable and a straight shooter, she wasn’t afraid of emotions and didn’t mind sharing them and that was something he hadn’t experienced in the same way. She seemed to calm him and ground him in a way he wasn’t used to, he simply just loved talking to her and being with her and the longer he was away, the more he recognized just how absolutely head over heels he was for her. 

But it wasn’t an infatuation, or just some fling. He wasn’t interested in her for a good time or just for her looks, or even just someone to fill his time with as he’d done before. He truly just liked her and there was something about this that just felt… different. And once that next scene finished and Scott hurried over to tell him that Nat had texted and was at his house, he finally could breathe a little easier. 

Chris was thankful for the distraction of filming to get his mind off of his worries but still was calling Nat the moment the filming for the entire evening was over. He gave her the rundown of when all the people were coming to get her new locks and install the security cameras but made her promise to spend another night in his house since everything wouldn’t be installed until the following evening and he swore just hearing that one soft, “Thank you for taking care of me, Chris,” and he wanted nothing more in that moment to just hold her in his arms and protect her from all the things of the world that Nat was too caught up in her beautiful artistic outlook of the life to see.  

That feeling lingered in his heart as he went to his trailer, taking a warm long shower after filming and getting changed before he and Scott headed back to the hotel. His schedule was so mixed up with all these night shoots and he was getting ready to pull all the curtains to block out the sunrise when his phone started ringing. Assuming that it would be Nat, he quickly grabbed the phone and answered without even looking at the screen first. 

“Hello, is this Chris?” 

Chris frowned for a moment, his brain frantically trying to figure out who’s voice it was but came up with no answer and instead just replied, “Yes it is.” 

“Hi Chris, this is Eric Marton, Nat’s dad. We met for just a minute a while ago when I was in California visiting Nattie,” the voice on the other end filled him in before supplying, “She gave me your number.” 

Just the mention of Nat made a smile cross his lips and he instantly relaxed while moving around the room to toss a sweatshirt from the bed over to a nearby chair, “Yeah, I remember. It’s nice to talk to you again, Eric.” 

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m calling you but I wanted to call to thank you.”

“Thank me?” His nose scrunched up at the thought, not having a clue what Nat’s father would want to thank him for. 

He heard Eric clear his throat before the explanation came,“Nat told me about everything that happened with her car and that you had her go stay at your house and got all her locks changed.” 

“I just couldn’t sleep knowing that someone had the keys to her apartment,” Chris simply stated, knowing that it was the truth. He put the phone on speaker and tossed it on the bed while he started peeling down his jeans to get ready for bed and went on telling Eric that, “Nat seemed to think that they just wanted the car but I was just so worried. I didn’t want anything to happen to her.” 

“I know you didn’t, and I just had to call to say thank you,” his voice was soft and full of emotion, so much like Nat’s when her feelings were at the forefront. “I hope it doesn’t make me sound like too much of a crazy overprotective father calling about his 33 year old daughter, but I just love her so much and I worry about her.” 

Chris just laughed softly while climbing into bed, grabbing the phone and holding it with one hand while the other came behind his head as he propped himself up against the pillows. He knew what it was like to be worried about the people he loved, especially his family, and he knew that with Nat’s mother having been gone for almost her entire life, it was natural Eric would feel a little more protective and worried about his girls. But Chris found it anything but odd, instead finding it so endearing and loving the fact Nat had people in her life who loved her so deeply and told Eric, “I don’t think it sounds crazy at all. I’m so close with my family so I get being worried about them.”  

“I know that Nat can take care of herself, she’s certainly not helpless by any means,” Eric stopped to laugh, making Chris chuckle as well from knowing just how true that was. “But it’s nice to know that she has someone else looking out for her and taking care of her,” 

“Well Eric, I couldn’t agree with you more in the fact that Nat can take care of herself, but I don’t want her to always have to,” he knew how much he meant it. He didn’t want Nat to have to do everything alone and he wanted to do what he could to protect and care for her. “Besides, my Ma would be the first to say that I’m a bit of a control freak and anxious to a fault, so I couldn’t relax until I knew she was somewhere safe.” 

Chris smiled as Eric laughed at those words, knowing so badly that it just felt… right. And as they hung up and Chris went through the motions of getting ready for bed, he remembered how strange this stage of relationships used to feel, the awkward not-quite-dating yet stage before the we’re-doing-this one, but with Nat it all felt new and exciting. He didn’t dread returning to Los Angeles next month like he typically did, all because of her, his Nattie. He couldn’t wait to see her again, to hold her in his arms, and he couldn’t help but look at the clock as he laid in bed, counting down the hours in his mind until they were back together as he fell asleep. 

A/N: Genuinely.... we love them. And if you don't believe us, we wrote 62.5k words for them by the end of November. 🌯 is currently typing this on 11/30/2022, and we just cannot stop! We hope you love this, future-readers! Can't wait to read all your thoughts :)

ALSO We’re going to start posting updates TWICE A WEEK! So now every Monday and Thursday there will be an update! 

[thefirstknife]

Exo anon: YOU ARE A TREASURE thank you for pointing me back to more sources. As to Alkahest being needed for a reboot, the second half of the final entry on Legacy's Lament that discusses a reboot, "You're sure about this? This is the last of the radiolarian fluid, you know," which says to me it's somehow necessary for the process. However... One thing that comes to mind is that the exos on Europa weren't just getting memory wiped, but being uploaded with their last saved version, so that raises the possibility that that's part of what the radiolarian fluid facilitates? Maybe memories are wiped with all reboots, but installing backup memories requires Alkahest? (Just spitballing, that...)

The whole memory wipe/reboot process and its implications are just so *clenches fist.* I wish there were more details in game. But for now, thank you for your loremastery!

No problem!

Oh yeah, that line implies some use of Alkahest for... something. It's possible that a lot of them were just reuploaded into new bodies, possibly because of all the damage done in combat. Or something as you suggested. I think if a new body is needed or there's significant damage done, Alkahest would be required again.

The memories are technically not even being entirely deleted with reboots; they're just being blocked (which explains why some still access them sometimes, like Cayde and many others did). This whole section from Clovis' journal is really interesting:

I am much more interested in the surprising success of memory wipes. I became so tired of answering the questions asked by new exos—what had happened to the scanning clinic, how long had it been, would I let them see their families—that I began inducing retrograde amnesia before spin—up. Interestingly, this seems to have improved their resilience against exomind rejection. From now on, we will block access to pre—upload episodic memory. We should also consider a built—in procedure to block memories formed after the exobody transubstantiation, returning them to a “factory state” should the need to restart occur. It would be very difficult to actually track down and delete the full memory engrams since they are stored in so many scattered parts of the brain. Instead, we can tourniquet off associative access to those memories and let them wither away in isolation. A memory is not a recording, after all. It is a set of instructions to reenact a brain state— choreography for a play. And like any play, it will fade if left unperformed.

Note that this specifies "pre-upload" memory, but also Clovis planning some sort of a feature to also block new memories made after. Also added to this is the fact that Darkness was used as part of Alkahest and Darkness for sure helps memory stay around.

It's really hard to tell what's the exact process and while we'll all love more details, I think that's by design. Still, I'd kill to know more, especially about Ada-1, because she's unique.

[dolli-is-me]

Heyy

How did u revise your past grades ...and how much time it took ?

I want to revise all of my grades too

HIYA LOVE 💗

ooo that's a great question! I'll go into the most fullest details for you 💗

Backstory: so I remember, back in middle school, I was grieving over the fact I didn't do good in my midterm exams, considering the fact my parents were strict at that time, I was anxious and worried, however, on the last day of answering the exam, we were told to come tomorrow for the exam results.

I can't tell you much how this made me so scared and worried, this meant I only had half a day left to manifest a new change of grades, but thank God, I didn't let that thought stop me, I'm going to tell you again, manifesting on a time crunch is absolutely possible and really easy

How I did it: I came back home from the last day of the exam, still thinking about tomorrow, that's when I stopped myself, and did an experiment, I grabbed my headphones, then played this subliminal on loop for hours and hours, and of course I took breaks, I played songs over it and vibed over it, acted like I already got my good grades, it sounded hard to act like your grades are all good when you feel the nagging of the past telling you that it's not true, but it was easy, I forgot everything and jammed to the song, busied myself, continued to listen to the music with the subliminal.

Now here is what I did next, when nighttime came, I laid on my bed and read some book, until I became so sleepy, I was super sleepy, on the verge of passing out I mean, putting my book down and I started to command my subconscious mind almost unconsciously, I just repeated to myself over and over "ohhh wow, the fact my grades are all so high? I'm truly a genius" or saying "my subconscious mind already knows all of my exam papers have the right answers on them", so I slept with that idea, and honestly, I slept soundly, didn't let the nagging take my comfort away.

Results: when I woke up, I felt refreshed, and actually for once, I wasn't worried? It felt natural, after going to school and getting my grades, my mouth was literally about to fall from seeing the exam papers that are graded back in my hands, listen, I wasn't surprised by the grades, but literally by the answers, there were answers I didn't wrote it that way??? Yet it was my handwriting???! This made me completely have faith in my subconscious mind, because the answers that I gave back in my old reality was different from the answers that was written on this paper, I aced every one of my exams

So yeah! That's all it! Hope you get the idea love 💗, and trust me, it's the most easiest thing ever, you can do this 💗

(p.s// the subliminal I linked is a reupload from the original)

[bobby-r2d2-floyd]

Life Goes On (REUPLOADED)

Rhett Abbott x f!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: 18 year old reader spends her last night in Wyoming with 21 year old Rhett Abbott before leaving for art school

Warnings: None? Two idiots in love not telling each other

might cross post this to ao3, not entirely sure yet but not posted anywhere else.

read part 2 here!

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Freshly graduated from high school, the summer before you left to go to university had flown by. Days were packed full of riding, roping, moving cattle with the Abbott family whenever they needed, spending time caring for your younger siblings when your mom worked day shifts. You and your best friend Rhett Abbott barely had hung out at all, spare moments here and there in the hay loft when Royal wasn’t needing you two to do a chore around their property. Before you knew it, it was your last night in town. 

You were perched atop of your roof, staring at the stars as you took slow drags from your cigarette, you missed the sound of your bedroom window being open and boots padding across the shingles. You don’t need to turn around to know who it was that was joining you, you already knew. 

Rhett dropped his flannel over your bare shoulders, the strings of your tank top doing nothing to keep the chill of the Wyoming night time air from sending goosebumps across your skin.

“Can’t believe this summer’s already passed by” he says, sliding up behind you and hooking his chin on your shoulder. You let out a small hum and take another drag, the only noise between the two of you being the burn of the paper. 

“I can’t either, and I have no idea when I’m gonna have time to come back and see you again.” you say before exhaling the smoke that was in your lungs. “I saw you every day this summer and I still feel like I never saw you.”

He takes the cigarette from your hand, taking his own slow drag before exhaling after a few beats, “you could always not go.”

“Rhett.. I have to go. I have to get out of this town, I can’t stay here.” you tell him for what felt like the millionth time. “This is going to be good. I can go out there and I can get an education and make a name for myself that isn’t the girl who cried wolf.” 

“You didn’t cry wolf, that guy.. He was no good.” Rhett says as he rubs your arm.

“Tell that to the rest of Amelia County.” you take the cigarette back and take the last hit of it before putting it in the old water filled coffee can.

He squeezes your midsection a little tighter and you lean back against him, “as much as I hate it here, I don’t want this night to end.” you say as you exhale the smoke from your lungs, watching it swirl amongst the stars before dissipating.

Tomorrow you would be headed east to Chicago, a 16 hour drive, mostly on I-80 before a stint on I-88. It was a drive that you had mapped out for weeks, even alternate routes should you need them. You weren’t expecting to get into the Art Institute straight out of high school but you were honored nonetheless to be accepted. It was something that Rhett didn’t understand, he knew you were artistic, you did murals all over the town, He just didn’t understand why you felt like you needed to go to school for it. 

“Are you going to keep working with your dad?” you ask, staring at the moon rising in the distance.

“Yeah, work with him, move the cattle, now that fair season is over I'm not gonna be on the bulls as much anymore unless I do well this next time.” he says as he admires the partial view of your face in the moonlight. He knew that there wasn’t a lot of money in the bull riding at the level he was competing,or in the ranching, so the odds of him ever making it out the city to see you would be out of the question unless he picked up another job or you were able to fund his visit. 

You inhale with a shaky breath and before you know it there’s a rogue tear running down your face and landing on his arm.

“Let’s get outta here. Go for a drive, pretend we have more than just a few hours.” he mumbles and you nod your head. He stands up before offering a hand to you to help you stand. When you stand, you’re a little too close than you were planning on being and you look up at him, your breath catching in your throat. He looks down at you, his dark aegean blue eyes boring into yours and for a second you wish that he would tilt your chin up and kiss you. When he doesn’t, though, choosing to step back instead you give him a small smile and a thanks as you make your way back into your room and down and out of the house, putting his flannel on properly as you make the way to the front door. Rhett kicks himself for not kissing you, but he still follows you out of the house and to his truck, putting his hat back on as he shuts the front door behind him. He opens your door for you like the gentleman he was raised to be and you smile softly as he shuts it once you're settled in the cab. 

Rhett drives for what feels like hours, heading out of his own personal hell. There’s a small road up the mountain about 45 minutes from your house where as a child you always felt like you could touch the stars. Neither of you say a word as he drives, neither of you wanting to break the comfortable silence with the impending heartache of tomorrow. 

He drums his fingers against his steering wheel, bringing you out of your thoughts, “haven’t even left yet and this place already feels so different.” 

“Sucks we had to grow up, that you’re leaving…” he leaves the leaving me out.

“This’ll be good, right? ‘M makin’ the right choice?” you question, finally looking over at him and he looks back at you.

“Darlin’ I want nothing more than to keep you home where I know that you’re safe, but I also know that if either of us were gonna be makin’ it out of this place it would be you. You’re gonna be great wherever you end up.” he tells you, hoping that you don't hear how his voice cracks at the end.

You give him a sad smile before opening your door to climb out. He follows suit and when he makes it around the hood of his truck you wrap an arm around his waist, his own arm finds its home around your shoulders. 

You make the small hike up the mountain to where there's a lookout, taking a seat in the grass you look up at the stars where they seem even brighter than they were from the roof of your home. "I'll miss this view the most, I think."

"Lookin' up at the stars definitely won't be the same tomorrow night." he responds, taking the opportunity to sit next to you this time so he can really commit your face to memory. 

"It's beautiful." a smile makes its way across your lips and you miss the way he's looking at you when he replies.

"Yeah, it sure is." his eyes trail your face, quickly looking away when you finally look over at him.

At some point you fell asleep in Rhett's arms, awaking slightly damp from the morning dew and when the first rays of sunshine were finally making their way into Wyoming. You smile at the way you were curled against his chest, his arm wrapping around your hip and resting on the exposed skin there. He stirs when he feels the arm you had draped across his torso move and he looks down at you and offers a gentle smile. "Good morning, darlin'."

You return his smile with a sad sigh, "mornin'."

You both sit up, and as always he's hopping up before you so he can offer his hand to pull you up to start the walk back to the truck. 

"What time you headin' out?" he asks, packing tobacco into his lip, an action that shouldn't be sexy but is coming from him. 

"Uh, well.. I wanted to be leavin' now but I won't say no to breakfast?" you say with a smile and he chuckles, starting the vehicle and heading back towards town as you shoot your mom a text that Rhett and you are grabbing breakfast out so she doesn't need to worry about fixing you a plate. 

He pulls into town and parks outside the dinner, both of you take your time making your way and inside. The silence is comfortable as you sip your coffee, speaking only when the waitress comes for your order. 

The coffee sits like a hot coal in your stomach, nervousness for the drive and leaving your entire life, the man you fell in love with. Sure, he's three years older, 21 to your 18, but that never stopped him from being there for you. Everyone at school called you "Rhett's girl", they all knew not to mess around with you or he would be on their case. Despite all the buckle bunnies throwing themselves at him, he only ever had eyes for you.

It was easy to love him. 

The food arrived and only then did you two make small talk. He asked pretty basic questions:

Where are you staying? In the dorms. Do you have a roommate? No, I don’t think so. What courses are you taking? I don’t know yet. 

How long are you going to be gone? You hesitated on answering that, unsure of how long you were going to be gone and if you were even planning on coming back. “I don’t know, Rhett.” 

He nods his head and puts cash down on the table, enough to cover the bill and leave plenty extra for the tip. He slides from the booth and offers his hand to you to help you stand up, you smile at the gesture and take the outstretched palm as you rise. “Well, guess we better get you back home so you can say your goodbyes and whatnot to your family.” 

Rhett dropped you off at your mom’s house, his eyes following you inside as he walked over to your car, opening the unlocked door to pop the hood so he can check your oil and top of any fluids that needed it. Your mom watches him from the kitchen window as you say goodbye to your younger sister and brother, holding them both maybe a little too tight before you leave.

“It isn’t too late to change your mind, baby.” she says turning to look at you and you stand up and look over at her.

“Mama I can’t stay here, you know that.” you walk up behind her and watch as Rhett double and triple checks everything, even turning your car on and making sure you’ll have enough gas to make a good chunk of the way through Nebraska. 

“Did you tell him?” she asks as she rubs your back.

“Tell him what?” you play oblivious to her question.

“That you love him.” you stiffen at her words and she lets out a small chuckle, “sweetheart the only person in this world who is too blind to see how much you love Rhett, is Rhett himself.”

“I can’t tell him.. If I told him I would want him to leave with me and you and I both know that he isn’t going to leave behind the bull riding and his family’s ranch.” you tell her and fill up a travel mug of coffee.

She sighs and goes to say something when the front door opens and not wanting to track mud throughout your mothers house from his boots, Rhett stands in the doorway, “your car’s all good to go darlin’. Ma’am” he says as he addresses your mom with a small smile. She shoots you a pointed look and you send back a glare. Rhett shuts the door and stands on your front porch, waiting for you to come out after saying a long goodbye to your mom. 

“I was in your position, and I regret it every single day that I didn’t beg him to come with me. I know how it feels and you’re going to regret it too.” she tells you as she holds you tight.

“You did?” you ask and she nods.

“Yeah, I mean, granted I came back and married him, but your father and I lost years of what our relationship could have been, and then he passed away in that bull accident. Don’t make the same mistakes that I did.” she wipes her thumbs over your face and you shake your head. 

“I can’t tell him.. He probably doesn’t even feel the same way.”

“You never know unless you say something, so say something or risk losing him forever.”

Rhett looks back at you as you open the front door and he holds it as you step outside, “you ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be moving 15 hours across the country.” you laugh and he gives you a small smile before walking with you to your car. He opens the door and you throw your small bag inside that contains your wallet, cellphone, and charging cord. “Hey Rhett-”

“So listen-” he says at the same time as you, “you go first.”

You shake your head, “no, you can.” 

“Be safe, please? You’ll have to stop for an oil change along the way so I left some money in the glovebox for you and there’s pepper spray in there as well should you need to use it, on the drive or in the city.” he tells you and you nod, opening your mouth to say something and he takes a step back, cutting you off. “It’s almost noon, you should be headin’ out.” 

“Yeah, I uh, I guess I should.” you say, gripping your car as he walks back up to pull you in a quick hug, kissing your head before pulling away.

You inhale as much of his scent as you can, trying to commit it to memory - the tobacco and coffee of his breath as he exhales across your face, the cedar of his cologne, and the mint of his aftershave that’s barely clinging to his skin.

He climbs into the cab of his truck, head leaning back against his seat as he watches your car pull out of your driveway, tail lights fading down the road with the dust trail you leave, he pounds his steering wheel, cursing himself for not kissing you or telling you how much you meant to him and that he loved you. 

You looked back in your rearview, your childhood home and Rhett’s truck fading into the background as you headed towards your future, your new life in the big city.

Life regrettably going on for the both of you, without each other.