#yeah ik the hands are missing but this is more of a general practice

[pistachi0art]

I said I’d return to it at some point 💋

[carlzy-berryz]

I decided to split the post into two and focus on Hazel here an the koopalings on the next one!

This is mostly lore about Hazel and a bit of info about her family!!

So in a post before, I mentioned how she was really good at fire breathing and I think Bowser would be really impressed by it because koopas who aren't royalty usually aren't that good at it!!This is also a reason why Bowser wanted her on his side, I guess he saw some potential.. he doesn't do that often...

...but on the other hand.... she's not great at using magic, especially since she's just starting out with it.. I'd like to imagine that Kamek is her teacher (he also taught the koopalings) but he can be pretty harsh sometimes.. Which is why she'd rather practice with Lud as he's more calm in situations like that..

I'll put the rest under the cut, so it's not too long!! And to not bore people XD

I also wanted to explain how her pendant works since it's kinda a main part of her character design..

So like I said in the pic, its main gimmick is that it glows when she's in danger.. this happens a lot in my au (and in a comic I've been planning for a while hmmm?) But yeah, she's always thought it was pretty when it glows.. ig she also wonders why bad things always happen after..XD

It's also made of a special type of ruby (it's magical) one shard was given to each of her ancestors (her mothers side) and its been passed down for generations...

Some stuff about her parents...

Hazel's mother (Hailey) passed away when Hazel was very young (around 3-ish) her death had something to do with Bowser's troopas, but nobody ever found out what actually happened... Hazel rarely thinks about her mother, since she didn't really know her for very long, however, she does still miss her from time to time...

Her death affected Hazel's father in a very different way though... When Hailey died, he changed... he grew very overprotective of Hazel, making her promise to always be by his side.. and that was okay... until her teenage years, when she wished to be more independent, this broke him, he was terrified something would happen to her... Hazel, on the other hand, while she loved her father, she didn't like how controlling he was sometimes... (even if she knew he only did it because he didn't want to lose her too) So she began to sneak out while he was sleeping... that's when she started to love walking, she would walk for hours, it helped her forget her problems (that's how she walked into Bowsers territory that time)

But... if her father found out she was even interacting with Bowser, he would be LIVID!! (He holds a grudge against him because of what happened to Hailey....)

I also designed him too, he's pretty basic and looks similar to Hazel..

Oh!! And his name is Burtram (Ik it's kinda silly but it's an inside joke I have with a friend XD)

Here's some common info about him..

He's kind of a snob.. he's really rich and owns a wine business, he has multiple locations back in Cloud Kingdom (where they used to live before they moved to the border of Darkland for convenience) like I said above he HATES Bowser, since he was involved with Haileys death, and idk if he'll find out about Hazel "working" for him but, God, I wouldn't want to imagine.... Anyways that's about all I have on her family for now..

I'll design her mother sometime in the future ^^

Au stuff part 1/2 ill post the next one in a bit ^^

[9tzuyu]

four months.

note: hiiiii! just trying to get into the groove again. i dont know what this is. the original prompt is below, however it did not turn out that way?¿ its kind of a mess, but fluffy i suppose. i hope you enjoy :>.

using my own experience so don’t think i hate poor people because i am those people </3

(also chapter 4 of children of tragedy will be out soon, i promise. ive just had awful writers block.)

+ thank you moli for proofreading so i dont have to. i love you.

warnings: none?

prompt: * reader used to be poor and stuff and w/n is like “you know you don’t have to get the cheapest things” and R covers it up and says “oh this is the brand i like, but w/n discovers hidden receipts and asks why they have a bunch of useless receipt and R is like “i was just tracking how much we spend....”

🏷 @natasha-danvers @midnight-lestrange @whatiziz @kermy48 @mycosmicparadise @peggycarter-steverogers @blackxwidowsxwife (lmk if you want off the tag list because ik i dont post as regularly as other writers, so im just going with people who have told me they want to be on my tag list in the past)

and lastly, for my baby @nermalina. its not really your genre per se [ i have a smut fic that i’ll dt you on ;)] however, accept this as a form of love.

it wasn’t so much that you were homeless and out on the streets, but you weren’t necessarily well off either. working as a waitress only got you far enough to pay your monthly rent and gas. somehow you managed to squeeze in a list of groceries.

every penny counted, you didn’t have room for mishaps or sick days. thats why you kept your budget small and a stash full of receipts on the kitchen bar.

natasha didn’t know about any of this though. you were sure she’d have you by the neck if she found out how long you’d been keeping your secret.

the redhead was generous, and no matter how many times you offered to pay for something she would never even dream of letting you. natasha insisted on it, and you were powerless to stop her.

it wasn’t until you tagged along with her on a trip to the grocery store when things began to unravel. she only needed a few things, nothing important.

but nat was quick to pick up on the fact that you continuously flipped every little thing you picked up to look at the price tag.

“here, it’s the cheapest one i could find.” you said, smiling as you handed her a cardboard box of pasta. natasha hummed, “you know you don’t have to get me the cheapest thing on the shelf.”

you bit your lip, eyes suddenly looking back at the shelf of different pasta boxes. “i know... it’s just- it’s my favorite brand.” natasha automatically knew you were lying by the way you began chewing on the inside of your lip.

she narrowed her eyes. “no it’s not.”

“huh?”

“you got this brand because it was the cheapest. you know i can afford more, which leads me to believe you do this out of habit.”

you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze. “no, i just really like that brand.”

the sudden realization that she had never been to your place struck her.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“why don’t we go back to your apartment after this? we can just relax, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”

a mix of guilt and shame flooded your body. but damned if you didn’t still give it a try.

“my apartment’s a mess right now, you don’t want to see that.” you tried, offering a small, dry laugh in hopes of getting her off your back.

“you’re a terrible liar.”

“i’m not-”

“i picked you up from the park today, just like every other day. i’ve not once picked you up from your own apartment, so what are you hiding?”

when you didn’t give an answer, she tossed the cheapest box of pasta in her cart and walked away. you groaned as you watched natasha leave before catching up to her.

“okay, okay, we can go back to my apartment. just don’t judge me, alright?”

she smiled softly, “it wouldn’t even cross my mind.”

soon enough you began helping your girlfriend load her car with bags full of miscellaneous items. nothing needed to be refrigerated, so if natasha wanted to, she could stay at your apartment all day.

your leg bounced in the car as you gave her directions. but soon enough, after what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of your life, natasha pulled into a parking space right outside your door.

you silently cursed yourself for not renting a spot upstairs. at least then it would’ve prolonged the situation just a little bit longer.

natasha watched as you fumbled with your keys, your hands visibly shaking.

“fuck.” you mumbled after hearing the clank of metal hit the ground. you bent down to pick them up but natasha beat you to it.

“which key?” her voice was soft.

“the yellow one.”

the door swung open and you motioned for natasha to go before you.

it wasn’t bad, really. apart from the chipped brown walls, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke (you hated your neighbors for that), the broken windows, lack of space and furniture that was as good as the floor.

natasha noticed the windows first, a sense of protectiveness overpowering her. she didn’t like that you weren’t safe.

you went to offer her a water bottle, but she wasn’t paying attention. instead, she noticed the lack of food in your fridge, frowning when you tried to cover it up.

another few minutes of her silence went by and you couldn’t take it anymore.

“look, i know you’re rich. i know you like to have luxury brands and that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will break in and steal what little you have left. but that doesn’t give you any right to judge me. i’m sorry i don’t live up to your expectations.”

natasha licked her lips and leaned her back against the kitchen counter.

“how long have you lived like this?”

her question caught you off guard, but you managed to find an answer.

“i’ve always lived like this, nat.”

she nodded solemnly before abruptly turning around to look at what was inside your cabinets.

“what are you do-”

“you have no food.”

you sighed, “well yeah, i can’t really afford it.”

“and the receipts?”

natasha was met with a shrug. “have to keep track of everything somehow.”

she stared at you a minute longer before finding the exact words she wanted to say.

“i would never judge you, or anyone for that matter, on their living situation. i know people don’t always have a say in what or why things happen.” she paused. “but i don’t like knowing you go to sleep every night with broken windows practically inviting anyone to come in and intrude. i don’t like knowing all you have to eat is bread, canned fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches.”

you listened to her ramble on, still nervous about the fact that this was new to her.

“so come live with me.”

“natasha-”

“come live with me.”

you immediately shook your head. “no, no, no. nat don’t even-”

“i’m serious. you won't win this argument, y/n. let me take care of you. i don't mind picking you up and dragging you out of here myself if that’s what it takes.”

a sigh left your lips as you folded your arms across your chest. “natasha, i can’t have you do that. i’m okay, i promise.”

the redhead raised her eyebrow. “how many times have you gone to bed hungry? or let your car run on fumes for as long as you could? and how many times have you gone to work sick because you can’t afford to miss one single day?”

when natasha was met with no reply she moved closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into her embrace.

“i know it’s only been four months but i don’t think i could ever forgive myself if something happened to you and i didn’t do enough to stop it.”

she kissed the side of your head, “let me take care of you.”

[pagingevilspawn]

Can you write a fix just full of jolex fluff or jo and Luna fluff Because I really need something from Thursday episode?

clair de lune

wc: 2.2k

pairing: none. Jo & Luna mother-daughter relationship.

summary: sweet little moment between jo and luna

rating: general audiences.

category: fluff.

warnings: tooth rotting fluff. (also, lots of time skips, but that's intentional)

AN: ik you requested this after 17x16 anon, but i hope this still works now! this is easily the fluffiest thing i've ever written, and i hope you enjoy! also, sorry my fics have been so short lately...but what can you do. (contemplated posting this in a couple days, but ultimately didn't. don't start thinking i'll start posting regularly now though haha)

____

“Welcome home Luna,” she says to the quiet apartment, reveling in the way it felt like a home. She sits on the floor, rocking the car seat back and forth while her little girl sleeps, her fist curled into the blanket Link had gifted her a few months prior. She uses her finger to trace the outline of Luna’s nose, giggling silently when it scrunches up in her sleep.

She glances around the apartment, large and spacious in the matter of there was no furniture in it. New things would be delivered soon, but for now she had herself, her little girl, a mattress, and a Pack ‘N Play, and wouldn't wish for anything else.

Luna squirms a bit in her seat, and Jo thinks she’s going to wake up, when she really just circles her hand around Jo’s finger that had fallen close to her chest.

She feels her heart clench, immediately scrabbling at her phone to capture the moment, breathing a sigh of relief when the picture is taken and her baby hadn’t moved.

With that, another photo is added to the album she had labeled under Luna, and she laughs to herself at the absurd amount of pictures she already had of her daughter.

After a few minutes had gone, she tries to remove her finger to get a snack, but settles back down when Luna’s grip around her finger just tightens.

She sighs, but it’s more of a promise to the words that she says next.

“I’ll never leave you, I promise.”

_____

She was driving frantically through the streets of Seattle, rain beating down against her windshield as she made a turn. She bit her bottom lip anxiously, nibbling on it until she could taste the copper on her tongue.

Pulling into the parking garage she stops the car haphazardly into the nearest space, snatching her purse so quickly from the passenger seat it nearly whips her in the face.

While in the elevator she pushes the top floor button so many times it nearly breaks, tapping her foot against the cool marble tile. Normally, she would marvel at the way that the elevator had such flooring (three months of living there and she still wasn’t used to such luxury) but tonight it was the furthest thing from her mind.

When the doors finally slide open, she’s out of them so quickly she nearly trips over her own feet, brushing multiple strands of dark hair that had fallen out of her bun behind her ears and out of her eyes. She swings the door of her home open, not even caring to notice the sound it made when it banged against the wall, too focused on the cries coming from the nursery.

Before she even reaches the room, the nanny comes out, carrying a crying Luna in her arms, trying to calm her down with gentle words and hushes.

“Oh thank god,” she says, exhaustion plain on her features. “I've been trying to get her to quiet down for over thirty minutes now. I’ve tried feeding her, changing her, rocking her, but nothing’s worked. I called you as soon as I knew you would be off work. I’m so sorry Jo, it’s just that—”

“—Hey, hey,” she says gently, taking her daughter from the girl. “It’s okay, I’ve got it from here. Thank you, take thirty from my wallet,” she starts rocking Luna in her arms, the screaming cries coming slowly to a stop once she comes to the realization that she was in her mother’s arms.

The nanny lets out a sigh, “How—? I mean, I’ve tried everything, but—” she stops, tucking the money into her back pocket as she watches Luna’s cries settle down to soft whimpers.

Jo smiles gently, locking eyes with the younger woman, “Sometimes she just needs her Mom.”

____

They were currently in the middle of a very intense game of peek-a-boo, Luna giggling and clapping her hands like crazy every time Jo would reveal herself behind her hands, each grin from the little one bringing one to Jo’s face as well. She could listen to the sound of her daughter’s laugh all day.

After one more boo, Luna laughs so much she falls back onto the couch, squirming and kicking her legs into the air, and Jo scoops her up, blowing kisses on her belly and ticking her little feet. “Mama’s so silly isn’t she?” she teases snuggling her nose with Luna’s.

“Mama, Mama!” she babbles, clapping her chubby palms against Jo’s face.

Jo freezes, not even noticing a small tear had escaped her eyes until she sees it fall on the tiny girl’s onesie. She smiles immediately, her cheeks hurting from how wide she was grinning.

“Yeah baby girl, I’m your Mama,” she hugs her daughter close to her chest, placing tiny kisses on the tuft of hair on her head, letting her happy tears fall freely, her heart so full she felt that it could burst.

The happiness she felt in that moment was greater than one she had ever felt before, and she knew it was a moment she would ever be able to forget.

It was official, she was a mom.

____

“Mommy, mommy!” Luna squeals, running and attaching herself to her mom’s legs the second she walks through the door, latching herself on so tightly Jo doubted anyone would be able to pull her off.

She crouches down and takes her girl in her arms, brushing back her hair from her face, “Hi Lunes,” she places a kiss on her forehead. “I missed you, you know that?”

“I missed you too, Mommy!” the three year old grins, grabbing her mom’s hand and dragging her through Meredith’s house, into the playroom that had somehow held up over years and generations of kids passing through.

She pulls up a plethora of drawings, shoving them into her mom’s hands. “Look Mommy, I made pictures,” she uses her finger to point at the drawing, “That’s you, that’s me, and that’s Chewy!” she exclaims, stopping on a figure which Jo could only assume was their pet goldfish.

“It looks amazing baby,” she places another peck on her daughter’s temple, taking in the scent of her shampoo. Three days without seeing her daughter was torture, but now that she was back home she felt like she could breathe again.

“Make one with me Mommy, then we can be matching,” Luna reasons, already pulling crayons out of the box and displaying them on the table.

Jo looks up to Meredith in the doorway, who only grins. “Go ahead, all she’s been talking about for the past three days is how much she missed you.”

The brunette’s expression relaxes, “Thanks again Mer, I hope she was okay,” she says, using her green crayon to draw the grass in her picture.

Meredith only scoffs, “Are you kidding? She was perfect. She’s my favorite goddaughter for a reason,” she says as she picks up some stray toys that were scattered across the room and tucks them into the chest.

“Were you good for Auntie Mer, Lunes?” Meredith asks the girl, who only nods excitedly.

“Yeah! I ate all my food and I go to sleep early,” she picks up a brown crayon and starts to draw hair on her picture, tongue poking out of her mouth as she focuses.

“You did!” Jo beams, voice cheery and happy when she sees that Meredith had no objections to Luna’s words. “I’m so proud of you baby.”

A little while later, both Wilson’s are done with their picture, and Luna pouts when they put the two next to each other. “Your’s is better,” she whines.

“What!” Jo gasps dramatically, taking Luna and placing her in her lap, wrapping her arms around her . “I think yours is so much better than mine Lunes.”

“Really?”

Jo ruffles her hair, “Oh yeah,” she picks up the drawing and holds it up as if showing it in the light added extra flair. “This one’s going up on the fridge.”

____

Shaking her daughter gently, she brushes her hair out of her eyes, stopping briefly when she feels Luna’s forehead. “Wake up sweetie, you have to get up and I need to take you to daycare.”

Luna groans, “Mommy, my head hurts.” she winces, putting her hand to her head and squeezing her eyes tightly shut, her bottom lip trembling.

Jo’s face immediately twists into a frown, placing her lips to Luna’s forehead, pulling away when she feels the heat practically radiating off of her.

As if she could read her thoughts, Luna immediately rips the comforter off of her. “It’s too hot Mommy.”

Jo hums, concern pooling in the bottom of the stomach; even though all her daughter most likely had was a common case of the flu, the doctor in her couldn’t help but imagine the worst scenarios.

When Luna lets out a hacking cough, she immediately lets the girl bury her head in her chest. “Can I stay with you today Mommy? I don’t feel very good.”

Jo nods, “Of course baby, of course. I’m just going to call work and then I'll take care of you okay?” When Luna agrees she untangles herself from the girl’s hold, quickly rushing back to her room and calling into work, telling them that she wouldn’t be able to make it in that day. She prepares some saltines and medicine, carrying them back to the room where Luna was clutching to her stuffed bunny, another violent cough ripping through her.

She places the crackers down on the bedside table, eventually coaxing Luna into taking the medicine, which she tries to spit out not even seconds after she takes a sip.

“Let’s go to my room, okay? That way you can watch some TV,” Jo says softly, lifting her up and into her arms when she nods, grabbing the crackers for later.

When Luna finally settles into her bed, she curls up to her mom the second she lays down. Jo puts on Disney Jr, and a Puppy Dog Pals re-run plays, lulling Luna into a temporary state of peace.

The rest of the day is filled with lots of soup, crackers, blankets, ice packs, Disney Jr, and so many tissues the wastebasket had started to spill over, but when Luna gets up the next day, completely fine, Jo’s more than relieved.

And when a few days later, Jo wakes up with the same symptoms Luna did a few days prior, the little girl tries to take care of her mother the same way she did her.

_____

Wiping a few stray tears from her cheeks, Jo does a final comb through of her hair, letting it fall into uneven waves. It was too early to cry, there would be plenty of time for that later. “Lunes, ready to go?” she yells, stepping out of the bathroom and sliding on her shoes.

“Yeah Mommy. We need to go now or we’re gonna be late!” Luna stomps into her room, arms crossed over her chest, bottom lip puckered out in an adorable little pout.

Where Luna got her sense of urgency from, she wasn’t sure.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Jo laughs to herself, grabbing her purse and slinging it over her shoulder, taking Luna’s hand as they exit the house. “Wait, wait,” Jo says, stopping outside the door and rushing back inside to return with a blackboard saying ‘First Day of Kindergarten!’.

Luna sighs, but takes the board anyway and holds it up in front of their apartment door, smiling for the camera. When Jo had taken enough, she grabs Luna’s hand again, running to the car with her.

It only takes a few minutes before they arrive at the school, and both girls rush to the line for Mrs. Blake’s class, thankful that they hadn’t gone in yet. Luna makes conversation with the little girl in front of her, Kayla, and Jo talks to her mom, Christy, thankful that she wasn’t as stuck up as some of the other parent’s around them seemed. It was a private school, much different than the ones she had spent her childhood growing up in. She had promised herself ever since she was little that whatever children she had would have a different upbringing than her, and she took that to heart. Even if that meant paying for a ridiculously overpriced private school, with preppy uniforms, and parents that had jobs ranging from lawyers to actors.

When Mrs. Blacks comes out, she introduces herself and lets the parents say goodbye, she feels the pricks of tears in her eyes, trying to no avail to keep them from sliding down her cheeks.

She bends down to her daughter’s height, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear, letting it rest on her rosy cheek. She sighs deeply, biting her bottom lip to stop it from wobbling.

“You be good, okay Lunes?”

The little girl nods. “I will. Don’t be sad Mommy.”

Jo laughs, pulling her into a bone crushing hug, releasing her only to rest her forehead against hers. “I love you baby.” she says, and she knows she’ll have to let her daughter go soon, off to start a new adventure, a new chapter in her life that has really only just begun.

“I love you too Mommy.”

[seulgiology]

i like the dances i do with you ㅣjung hoseok

pairing: idol!jhope x choreographer!original character

words: 3.2k 

genre: smut

warnings: smut lol, cursing, mature content

a/n: i really apologize but y/n makes me cringe ITS ADMIN 1 !!!! this is my first post and our overall first post for this blog so exciting. i’m new to writing, this is a very lowkey hobby of mine, admin 2 is the writer out of us two, but that doesn’t mean i won’t try lol. also the gif above is just for an extremely loose reference for the jhope down below, ik what he’s wearing there and the setting isn’t the same just bear with me. i’m open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and feedback, i generally want to make this blog a good one

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

“Guys, come on, the next part is really easy. All you have to do is-”

“You’ve been saying that for the past 3 hours Jeongyi.” 

“You wouldn't have to say that if Taehyung would stop trying to make Yoongi laugh every 5 seconds.”

“Yoongi needs to smile at somebody that's not Jimin and if it's anybody, it'll be Taehyung”

You let out a breathless chuckle, not even bothering to remove the sweat collecting on your upper lip and baby hairs sticking to your forehead. As you look at yourself in the mirror, you catch a member missing in the specific formation you carefully put together. You survey the idols until you find the suspect.

Your gaze shifted to the spot in the middle where the second main dancer, Jimin should be. You squint your eyes in exasperation when it was empty of him. There's a muffled snicker that catches your ears. Jimin’s dainty hands covered his plush lips, and his brown eyes disappeared into crescent moons as Hoseok continued to whisper in his ear, not realizing that they were interrupting.

“Care to share with the rest of us?” A playful smile graced your lips at the main dancer who jolts from being caught and bumps his forehead into Jimin’s head from being startled. “Hyung…” He whines, followed by murmured curses flying out of the younger's mouth as Hoseok turns sheepish and mutters an apology to him. 

Hoseok then puts his full attention to you, eyes shamelessly raking over your form. The tank that rose and bunched to a cropped state exposed your creamy skin and waist almost as small as the maknae himself. He doesn't care that you watch him look over the fullness of your breast, constricted in the sports bra. His piercing eyes glance at your sweat-covered collarbone and up to your lips.  They lingered there as your tongue darted out to lick their chapped form, and Hoseok couldn't stop his mind running to the dirty thoughts that plagued him. He forced his eyes away from your inviting lips when he felt himself twitch in his sweats and into your eyes that revealed your thick lashes, a knowing glint in your eyes.

You clear your throat and subconsciously rub your thighs together after feeling a slight slickness after being under his scrutinizing gaze. Yet, you continue to wait for an answer from both. When neither of the dancers moves their mouths to respond quickly enough, you say, “Both of you, upfront. Everyone else, you can take a 20-minute break unless I call you back earlier.” 

A mix of thank you and bows from the members cluster around your ears as they either rest against the blindingly white wall and floor as a worker either wipe a rag under their sweat tipped bangs or massages their sore muscles, or slug out of the practice room off to who knows where in the vast building. 

You look them both over, but noticeably keep your eyes on the main dancer a second too long. His white sweats hung tight around his waist, the strings tied for extra measure, and his loose gray tee showed nothing of his body. You vaguely remember Namjoon joking about how the dancer looked like Yoongi due to his simple colored clothes. 

You were about to move on until you reach that tantalizing stare of his, reeling you into his eyes that showed his desire for your body against his. A breath of a chuckle escaped his heart-shaped lips and he looked away while brushing his long fingers through the front of his parted black hair just for it to fall back into his dark eyes. You couldn’t even imagine how bad he wanted to fuck you against the mirror.

“Jimin-ah, you know what? I believe it was Hoseok’s fault over here that you were out of your formation, right?” You look at Jimin, who threw a confused squint at you from beneath his thick fringe before catching on. “Yeah Hobi-Hyung, you distracted me. I can't believe you would do this to me.” The shorter snickered up at the taller. Hoseok guffawed at me and stuttered over his words, the words “unfair,” were all you heard. 

“I’ll take it from here Jimin, you can relax. And drink some water while you're at it,” You smiled at him as he walked away and threw a victorious glance at Hoseok over his shoulder.  “Dwarf,” The older muttered loud enough for the other to hear. “Don’t act like I won't beat your ass, Hyung,” Was followed by the swift click of the door as Jimin ran from the hands of his member.

 “We’re going to dance, starting from the beginning up to the part you just learned,” You said, stopping to his right slightly behind him as were both looking into the mirror. You don't miss his eyebrow cock and the corners of his lips twitch into a smirk at your challenge. “Easy, I can do that.” He was relaxed, ready for an easy request. “Great, if you mess up, I'll have my best bud Seokjin over there hit you anywhere he wants.” You gesture to the male lazily spinning himself in a chair on his phone, mindlessly blowing raspberries through his plump lips. 

“Play the song from the beginning, with a 5-second countdown please,” you say to no one in particular as I ready myself. You see the amusement and mischief in his eyes as he swiftly positions himself behind you, as part of the choreography, close enough for you to feel his hot breath down my neck. “You’re going to dance your parts but I’ll switch between everyone to keep it decent enough, ok?” You whisper to him, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling between your legs.

“Five.” Namjoon’s voice rings out from behind the table.

You role your wrist and take a deep breath in, clenching and releasing your hands.

“Four.”  Jimin and Yoongi walk back into the practice room together, faces flushed as they quietly take a seat next to Namjoon.

You look into Hoseok’s eyes and soon roll them as he winks at you, a suggestive smile playing at his lips.

”Three.”  Jeongguk discreetly places himself against the wall, plucking Jimin behind his head earning him a wince from the older.

You feel Hoseok shift behind you, his front brushing against your ass in the slightest. You let out an almost inaudible whimper, hoping it went through deaf ears. Oh, the things you wish he’d do to you.

“Two.” Taehyung places himself on the edge of the foldable table, his striking eyes never once leaving your figure.

You feel like he's counting slow on purpose. Why are you getting nervous?

“One.” Seokjin lets out a loud "fuck" and wheels himself as fast as he can to the table with the rest.

The sudden sound of Taehyung's deep voice hits my ears as the first verse of "Fake Love" plays and you move your body to the beat.

«10 minutes later»

Well over ten minutes passed and Hoseok managed to get slapped in the ass, thigh, and back. His shirt stuck to his torso and back from his back and faintly painted the outline of his abs. He tried pushing the sweat-dipped hair out of his flushed face but it just smacks against his forehead. He was panting but stood up strong, ready for more.

Suddenly, a manager walked in and informed everyone in the room that practice for the day was over. Everyone but Hoseok and you bounded up before regretting it as their limbs were too sore and stiff from practicing and sitting too long without stretching. You gave Jin a silent chuckle of gratitude and saluted him as he carried a plush RJ in one arm and threw you a kiss in the other. The rest slightly bow towards you and say they'll meet in the van as their manager makes sure Namjoon doesn't trip over his own two feet from exhaustion.

Once they all pile out, along with the other workers, you allow yourself to rest for a few minutes, promising you’ll get up in 2 minutes

«38 minutes later»

Your eyes fly open at the familiar bass of a popular American song filling your ears. Out of the corner of your eyes, you see Hoseok position himself in a stance, getting ready to dance. 

You're so, fucking, precious, when you, smile…

His body twists and turns to the beat, movements fluid yet sharp. His face contorted into one of absolute concentration. Sometimes he’ll stop and do a particular move over again, but he's just making it up as he goes. You would've never known with the way he moved, but being a skilled choreographer lets you see his slight uncertainty in most counts. 

Hit it, from the, back and, drive you, wild…

You sit up and catch his attention. He paused the song and looked over at you questioningly. “I can teach you a dance to that song if you want.” You leaned back and placed your hands behind you to await his response, practically presenting yourself to him.

“Only if it’s good,” he said as he helped you up from the floor. You lifted both hands at him and he slid his much larger and softer ones into yours, his hands warm. But he pulled you up to quick, and a squeal left you as you lost your footing and waited for the floor to meet your back. Hoseok sprung into action swiftly wrapped an arm around your upper back and the other around your open waist. You ended up firmly pressed into his chest, your hands tightly help onto his biceps.

“Damn, your hands are cold,” You hissed out, subconsciously digging your nails into his arms. He grunted and tightened his hold, pressing my breast against his chest. He looked down into your widened eyes, his own hooded from feeling how hard your nipples are against him from your thin shirt. “Alright, let's start,” You sputtered out, his intense eyes giving away everything he felt at that moment. He let out a hum and slowly dragged his hands away from my body, ironically leaving it cold. 

You mentally cursed yourself at the song choice. Back in the states with your own crew, you taught a duet. Specifically made for two people involved with each other in a sexual way. We’ll be fine, we’re professionals. You let your hair out of its ponytail and let it drop to your shoulders, missing the way Hoseok put his hands in his pocket to refrain from gripping the soft strands between his fingers.

You start, instructing Hoseok to stand behind you once again, moving his hands to touch you according to the beat of the music and you find a rhythm in your movements together and find the pace. You dance next to each other, a giddy smile on your face at seeing him fall into step with your movements and he glances at you with that sunny smile of his. 

Girl anything I can do just to make you feel alright…

For that part of the song it all had to happen at the same time, no pausing in between. You needed to execute it cleanly, fluidly and full of pure unconfined craving.

He gripped your waist and pulled his body flush against yours, your smaller body fitting like a puzzle, and you rested your head on his shoulder, your neck exposed to him. His right hand steadily and sensually slid up under your shirt until they lied directly under your breast, his thumb lightly pressed on your clothed nipple. Simultaneously, his left hand danced their way down your open stomach, leaving a ticklish sensation as the tips of his fingers glided over the skin before continuing their trek down to your leggings and over your aching center. 

You both were too lost in the moment to realize that his hands should’ve stopped a safe distance away from your sensitive areas, as a breathy moan slipped past your lips and the sound traveled all the way down to his hard-on. He pressed his soft lips to your unmarked neck and relished in the sounds you emitted.  His hand began to gently cupped your breast and give it a light squeeze just as he began to pull your skin between his lips, sucking to leave a bruise. 

The music seemed to fade into the background as the only sounds being heard was your soft whimpers and the light smacking noises from Hoseok’s frantic kisses and hickeys. He let his fingers dip into her sweats and tease their way her mound over her damp panties.

Slow and steady,

“Hoseok… please,” She whined, her hips unconsciously began bucking against his hand, needing the feeling in her stomach to come undone. A low chuckle rumbled in her ear, sending chills down her back. The feeling passed when she felt his fingers push the fabric aside and speed up their assault.

“Look, baby you’re dripping all over my fingers,” Loud, needier moans with the obscene sound of her wetness filled the now musicless practice room turning them both on to return. The song had ended, but another was about to play.

“Please what? If you want something, you need to say it,” He whispered in her ear, “But that doesn’t mean you deserve it. Not with that bratty mouth of yours,” his lips brushed against your ear lobe, an unrestricted needy whine breaking from her. He brought his hand up to softly wrap around her neck to bring her closer. He drifted a finger inside of her, moving at a slow and tantalizing pace, never fully letting her close to her undoing.

“I- ah,” Another digit slipped in with the other, eliciting a higher pitched moan and the grip she didn’t realize she had on his wrist around her neck to tighten. “Fuck, Hoseok we don’t have all night,” Your words slurred with the pleasure the dancer was providing with his finger toying with your sensitive clit, body jerking with every touch of his quick fingers.

As if your words finally registered in his mind that this is a practice room and you had to be quick, he pulled out his fingers, much to your dismay. He walked your back to the closest mirror, the glass now pressed against your back. “Take these off,” He tugged the band of your sweats trying to relay the message. You hurriedly rid yourself of the clothes, and he wasted no time picking you up and pressing your bareback against the mirror. His hands were under your thighs as he pressed his clothed dick against your dripping folds, eliciting a low groan from him.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, too fucked out to realize he had pulled his sweats down until you felt his dick poking at your entrance. “Wha-,” You never got to finish your sentence because of the delicious feeling of him sliding into you. Both of you let out moans when he finally bottomed out inside of you, the feel of your warm and wet walls sucking him in. You feel so full, yet you already wanted more and he hadn’t even started moving yet. “Shit, baby you’re so tight around me,” he grunted out, already starting a swift pace at the feel of finally having you. You leaned back against the mirror, letting him take you as he pleases, the moans spilling from your lips an absolute sin to his ears. “Hoseok, more, please I want more,” You moaned out in his ear. 

If more was what you wanted, then that’s exactly what you were going to get.

He readjusted his grip and roughly pushed you back into the mirror, his cock rapidly slamming into your hole. “This is what you wanted right? My cock filling you up till you cry for me to keep going, and going, and going” He made sure to enunciate every word of his by fucking into you harder and harder. The moans you were emitting were absolutely wanton, your mouth forming an “O” from his thrusts. Hoseok placed his head at the crook of your neck to try and silence his own moans, but the normally eccentric dancer couldn’t control the moans coming from him because of how good you felt wrapped around his waist and how deep he was buried inside you. 

“Sh-Shit, I’m so close,” he practically whined, he was chasing his orgasm now, his pace brutal and relentless. “Oh, right there,” You sobbed as he hit that place inside you that had seeing stars. You opened your eyes and saw yourself from across the room; Hoseok working his hips into your heat, and you helplessly holding onto him for dear life as your orgasm was quickly approaching you. Your head lolled on his shoulder when you felt his fingers quickly working at your abandoned clit, the added pleasure bringing you to your high faster than you could’ve imagined. “Please don’t stop,” You were both moaning messes at this point, the lewd noises coming from your conjoined bodies adding on to the deeper moans from him and the higher-pitched ones from you. 

“I’m… I’m gonna cum,” your body convulsed and you felt him thrust particularly harshly inside you while his fingers hand never stilled their movements on your clit, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you saw white. “That’s it, baby, you’re taking me so well,” You sobbed through your orgasm, tears rushing down your face as he kept his pace. He looked up from your shoulder and came from the sight in front of him while whimpers of pleasure were filling the practice room from your lips. You were overstimulated through his own orgasm, his hips relentless as he emptied his seed into your pulsating walls and moaned your name like a mantra. He sloppily milked himself through his high, your mixed cum dripping down his shaft. 

He slowly and carefully slid out of your sensitive area, not missing the wince you made at the action. His softening cock shone with your release, but his eyes sparkled at seeing it drip out of your core. Before it could hit the floor, he pushed two of his fingers inside you, telling you to keep it there as a reminder of him when you returned to your hotel. Like I’d forget what we did here. He put you back down on the white floors, the fatigue kicking in from multiple dance routines and mind-blowing sex. The only sounds left were your heavy breathing, post-sex bliss still suffocating the room as you two silently fixed yourself up, not exchanging a word.

Just before you were about to leave the white practice room, you turned towards him as he just ended his call to one of his managers to send him a car to pick him up. “You know…” You trailed off. He turned his complete attention towards you, waiting for the rest of your sentence.

You were so nervous, but that doesn’t make sense since you were just begging for him. He strode towards you, a smile creeping it’s way up to his face at your sudden reservedness. “I know what?” You looked up at him, his domineering presence almost making you choke up.

“You never kissed me.”

[gerberbabey]

euphoric | one | JJ Maybank

a/n: this post isn’t showing up in the tags and idk why😔😭

ive linked both the outfit and the makeup look, and will continue to do so in the future. this is mostly bc im not rlly good at being descriptive sorry 😔 . For the aesthetic and looks in particular i might link a lot of Cierra Nia, cus her vibe and fits are very much what i had in mind. (when it comes down to it a lot of the inspiration im going off of is very Kali Uchis, Princess Nokia, and SZA.)

ik that this kinda cuts into the inclusivity (w aesthetics and fashion sense at least, bc i understand that some of these outfits might not be smth other people are comfortable wearing), but even w the concept ill try my best to widen the range of outfits as i go forward

the chad bit is inspired by @yourlocalauthor

also... im lowkey loving Isaiah as a character and i might invest in him more than i planned to lmao. 

summary: You get ready for dinner with the Cameron’s but you meet a certain Pogue instead. 

masterlist | previous | next

warnings : cursing, lack of pogues and action (i gotchu next part tho), also terrible writing

one - ♫ Only in the West by Yeek  ♫

After being told that you would be interacting with people in just a few short hours you’d rushed off to your designated room. Your parents were generous enough to leave name signs on the doors (likely for the movers to put your belongings in the correct rooms) and you tore yours off the front before you slipped into the room, closing the door and locking it behind you. 

You took in the room for a moment. It was already pretty much furnished, just not decorated or arranged in a way that you would like it to be. Everything was just kind of there, from the bed sheets to the vanity that you actually couldn’t really complain about.

Your suitcases had been placed at the foot of the bed and you moved to open the one that contained your makeup. You transferred your makeup products onto the vanity before a buzzing at your waist made you pause. 

“Oh shit,” you pulled your phone from where it was being held against you by the waistband of your shorts. The FaceTime caller ID had “that bitch maddy ” displayed at the top of the screen and you cringed because she was probably pissed that you hadn’t been responding to any of their texts. Pressing the answer button you pulled out the little seat of your vanity and leaned your phone against the mirror. 

“Oh shit, she answered!” BB’s voice echoed out of the speaker of your phone and you let out a laugh. 

“Are you serious dude, we’ve been trying to contact you for hours,” Maddy drawled out, clearly annoyed.

“I just got to the house Maddy.”

When it came to your group of friends, Maddy Perez was someone who constantly sought for attention. This wasn’t shit talk either, it was just the fact of it. You’d been friends with Maddy for nearly your whole lives and something that she loved was praise and attention. You were one of the few people who knew how to keep up with some of her antics. You were also one of the few people capable of calling her out on her shit without her lashing out at you for it (Although the topic of Nathaniel Jacobs was one she seemed to be especially hard headed on). 

The girls started to talk over one another, Kat’s voice drowned by the energy of Maddy and BB. You nodded along as you moved around in preparation. You’d stripped off the top you had flown in, tossing it aside in irritation and instant relief as the sweat that was being trapped in by the fabric immediately began to be cooled by the touch of the air conditioned room. 

“I mean what the fuck right?” Maddy concluded her story and you could only imagine Kat rolling her eyes. 

“Maddy the longer you complain about Nathaniel the more I begin to tone you out,” you admitted and Kat let out a laugh. 

“Daaaamn,” BB drawled out from somewhere off screen. 

“What the fuck (Y/N) you’re supposed to be on my side,” Maddy was clearly angered by your comment, you could hear it in her tone. 

“Babe I am on your side. I’m on your side no matter what the fuck that psycho does. I just really don’t need to hear about what he does because it doesn’t change anything,” you leaned in close to the mirror to focus on your eye make up. You looked over at your screen for a split second and from Maddy’s body language alone you knew you’d eased her irritation.

“So (Y/N) how’s North Carolina,” Kat question, emphasizing North Carolina with a misplaced old-time cowboy-like accent. You’d only spoken to the movers from earlier so far but people from North Carolina and the Outer Banks in particular didn’t seem to have a distinct type of accent. 

“It’s…” you leaned back to look at yourself and shrugged, “sticky.”

“Sticky?” Kat laughed and Maddy let out a small ‘ew’. 

“Yeah. Yeah it’s sticky.” 

_____________

It took nearly two hours but you’d finished getting ready and damn did you look good. You’d ended the call with the girls after they showered you with compliments and sentiment and you find yourself letting out a heavy sigh to try and release the tension in your chest. You missed your friends. You missed being a short drive away from Maddy’s house. You missed Kat and BB laying around in your room arguing about one thing or another. You missed sleepovers at Cassie and Lexi’s house. You missed heading out to the gas station and talking to Fez and Ashtray (which was an experience mind you). You missed the suburbs and not being on an island all the way across the country.

You missed all of this and you hadn’t even been on this island for a day. 

A knock on your door interrupted the growing weight you could feel throughout your body. 

“(Y/N), are you ready? We’re gonna head out soon,” your mother’s muffled voice called to you and you nodded before realizing she definitely could not see you. 

“Yeah I’m good just give me a second!” you called back. 

“Ok,” her voice drifted off and you took one last look in the vanity mirror, concluding that you definitely needed a full body mirror in this room. 

For tonight you were dressed to ensure the weather on the island knew it could fuck off. Maddy had pleaded for you to wear one of the dresses/outfits she’d gifted you at your farewell party (although you’d specifically told her not to get you anything, you also weren’t gonna complain about the amount of money she’d made Nate drop just to get you presents). So there you were, dressed in a dark purple, suede-textured, bra top with a long pleated skirt that was a lighter, softer shade of purple. You accessorized with two different chains hung around around your neck, a purple bucket hat, a small light purple shoulder bag, white socks bunched at your ankles and silver sneakers. The look was topped off with your makeup matching the purple color scheme. 

Concluding that you were good to go, you made your way out of your room and then out of the house. You took in everything as you passed it, from boxes that were yet to be unpacked to new pieces of decorations your old house definitely did not have. 

“Y’know sometimes I wonder how it feels to need to take 3 hours getting ready,” Isaiah drawled from where he was leaning against the car, scrolling through his phone. He’d dressed in some cutoff tan pants and a polo with a logo that you couldn’t make out on the left breast. 

“It would really help you out,” you shot back and he scoffed. 

“My look is effortless ok, I have natural beauty-”

“Oh, natural beauty bullshit-” 

“I’m not the one with layers on my face-” 

“Say that the next time you wanna use my face masks-”

“Ok ladies! You’re both absolutely gorgeous,” your mother interrupted your bickering as she made her way outside, “Do you wanna know how I know because you both got it from me,” she struck a pose and you let out a laugh while your brother rolled his eyes. 

“(Y/N) are you not gonna bring a jacket?” your dad questioned as you slid into the car. You blinked at him before turning to Isaiah who shrugged. 

“You’re not serious,” you stated and your jaw dropped at the serious look on your dad’s face, “Dad you can’t be serious, it’s so hot.” 

“(Y/N) you’re not even wearing a shirt, it would give me peace of mind if you had something to cover yourself up.” 

See now, while your family got along well, there always was something within families wasn’t there.Your dad’s opinions always seemed to clash heavily with you and your brother’s (yours especially). The man disapproved of Isaiah’s group of friends and lack of participation in sports. The man also disapproved of your friends (aside from Kat and Lexi) and heavily disapproved of your fashion sense and the outfits you tended to wear. He usually didn’t have to see any of the outfits you wore considering he was at work practically all the time, but he always had something to say when he was present. 

“Man people are walking around shirtless and stuff dad it’s fine,” Isaiah tried to defend you. 

“I wasn’t talking to you Isaiah.” 

Your dad was also the only person who didn’t call you or your siblings by your nicknames. 

Isaiah rolled his eyes. 

“Ok ok, it’s fine,” you’re mother piped in, “here (Y/N), you can have this cardigan,” You gave her a look of disbelief and she only shot you a pleading one back. Her expression alone told you, ‘please, just leave it’. You grit your teeth and snatched the cardigan from her, slouching into your seat aggressively as your dad nodded and started the car. Bea continued to watch whatever show she had preoccupied herself with and from the corner of your eye you could see Isaiah’s hand clenching and unclenching on his lap. You couldn’t see his face but you wouldn’t doubt he was as pissed as you. 

_______________

The Cameron house was packed with people. 

Well, not the house itself, but their large backyard was crawling with people. When Bea had told you that you guys would be heading to the Cameron’s for dinner you thought it would’ve been with the Cameron’s and the Cameron’s alone. 

“Welcome to your welcome party!” a man walked up to you and your family and you and Isaiah shared a look. 

“Ward, you didn’t have to do all this,” your mother laughed and the man waved off her concerns before giving her a hug in greeting. 

“This was the least I could do for my new business partners. Now, this must be the (L/N) kids,” the man, Ward, turned to the three of you and Bea stepped up with the confidence that surpassed you and your brother’s. 

“Hi I’m Bethany, but everyone calls me Bea!” she introduced and Ward let out a joyful chuckle. 

“Nice to meet you Bea, I’m Ward Cameron. I work with your daddy.” 

“I know,” Bea said matter of factly. 

“Oh, well then, it’s still great to meet you. And you two are…?” He trailed off offering a hand out for your brother. Isaiah stepped forward, taking his hands out of his pockets and shaking his hand firmly. 

“Isaiah,” he greeted with a nod and Ward nodded back.

“Then you must be (Y/N),” Ward guessed and you nodded with a polite smile. 

“It’s great to meet you three. I’ve heard a lot of good things about you kids,” Ward praised and you tried not to roll your eyes. There was no way your dad was bragging about his kids and you assumed your mom just talked about your antics. She loved talking about your guys’s antics. Bea was likely the only one who actually got any praise from either of your parents at this point. 

“Well there’s food on those tables, take as much as you want. Seconds, thirds, go crazy,” Ward motioned to the long tables displayed with food, buffet style, “Bea there’s a few kids over there who I know would love to make a new friend,” Bea ran off at that, “and you two. My daughter Sarah and my son Rafe are somewhere over there with some others your guys’s age. I know you guys definitely don’t wanna hang around when the old people start talking,” Ward laughed and your parents chuckled while you tried to hide your wince with a smile. 

Ward ushered your parents off, leaving you and Isaiah to stand awkwardly looking over the crowd of people. 

“Wanna go get food?” Isaiah offered and you nodded eagerly. 

_____________

Kiara was on enemy territory. If there was one thing she definitely had not wanted to do, it was go to a Kook party (in Sarah Cameron’s house nonetheless) to welcome a new Kook family, but her parents practically threatened her. Now she was here, trying to avoid all the Kooks (i.e Sarah) while her parents mingled with other parents. Kie had done a pretty good job slipping off so that she wasn’t forced to talk to any one and was sitting on a chair that was basically hidden away from the rest of the crowd.

‘SOS. god pls get me out of here’ She texted her group chat with the other Pogues and threw her head back in irritation as she waited for a response. 

“Y’know I think I just saw Chad, Brad, Tanner, and Hunter over there,” a voice she didn’t recognize startled her and Kie looked up as you and a tall boy made your way over to the spot she’d claimed. You were laughing, your cardigan sliding off your shoulders and both of you had a plate of food each.

“Yeah, they’re waiting for their homeboys Bryce, Brock, and Tucker,” you shot back and the boy barked out a laugh. 

Kie smiled as she caught onto the jokes you guys were making. Yet her smile dropped as she realized that from your unfamiliar faces and your unique sense of style she could tell you two were two of the new kids from the new family. Aka the new Kooks who moved into Figure 8. Kiara’s phone buzzed and she looked down at it. 

‘want us to crash?’ Pope had responded, though from how it was worded, Kie could bet that JJ had sent the message. 

As down as she was for that, her parents were in attendance and they’d probably ban her from ever seeing her friends again (not that something like that would stop her). 

“Hey uh,” Kiara jumped and looked up, making eye contact with you and your brother, “Oh shit sorry, we were just wondering if we could sit here?” 

“Yeah no, go ahead,” Kiara motioned to the empty chairs.

“Thanks,” you smiled at her and Kiara admired your makeup now that you were much closer. 

“I’m Isaiah by the way, but call me Zaya,” Isaiah raised his hand before motioning to you, “This is my sister, (Y/N).” 

“I’m Kiara, but most people call me Kie,” Kie introduced and you and your brother nodded. Kiara’s phone buzzed again, drawing attention to it. 

‘kie want us to come get u?’ John B texted. Kie quickly picked up her phone so she could respond, she glanced between her phone and you and Isaiah before deciding. 

‘nah it’s ok’ 

‘?’ was the immediate response from Pope and Kie could almost hear the confusion. 

‘met the new kids. theyre cool so far’ 

‘If you say so. But jj says dont fall for it’ 

Kie rolled her eyes but could understand the sentiment. She told them not to worry about it before putting her phone off to the side. You and your brother had started a different conversation while Kie had been otherwise preoccupied. Kie watched and listened to you two talk, justifying that it wasn’t eavesdropping since you’d come and sat with her in the first place. 

“That sounds dumb but ok,” you offered and Isaiah scoffed. 

“I mean I looked up if there was one around here but there isn’t so what else am I gonna do.” 

“Sorry, what isn’t here?” Kie interrupted, curious about the context of the topic. Isaiah glanced at you before turning to Kie. 

“Skate park,” he answered, “There isn’t one in the Outer Banks so I could just street skate, but there’s nowhere to drop in. But I was also thinking of just going somewhere and bombing a hill.”

Kie wondered if she was losing her mind. She knew there wasn’t a skate park on the island, the closest one was on the mainland. Most people who skated rode on longboards rather than actual skateboards and as far as she knew most people in the OBX just preferred to surf. But what had lost her was “drop in” and “bombing a hill”. 

“Closest skate park’s on the mainland,” Kie confirmed and your brother seemed to deflate. 

“You skate?” You questioned and Kie shook her head. 

“I’m a surfer. Not much to do when you live out here,” she joked. 

“No shit?” you asked and Kie looked up in thought but shrugged. 

“Well me and my friends, we usually either surf, or we go out to the marsh. We swim, drink, smoke. Either out at the marsh or just at my friend, John B’s, house. Sometimes we throw keggers. Have bonfires. We usually know how to occupy our time,” Kie wondered why she was speaking to these two so comfortably. 

“Parties?” Isaiah questioned and Kie winced. 

“Aside from keggers, people on the Cut don’t really throw house parties. The Kooks are always throwing stuff like this though,” Kie nodded over to the event that was meant to welcome you and your family in the first place. You glanced back at the party/gathering that you’d practically forgotten about. Since you’d arrived you and your brother actively avoided interacting with the teenagers all dressed like they were pledged into Kappa Beta Who Gives a Shit. 

“Sorry, Kooks?” Isaiah questioned. 

“Oh um...Kooks are like the rich people, anyone who lives in Figure 8. Boarding schools, trust fund money, private tutors,” Kie explained. 

“So...we’re Kooks? Because we live out here?” you questioned incredulously. Kie nodded her head and you raised a brow. Sure, you weren’t poor, you’d already established that. Back in California you lived just a few houses down from Cal Jacobs, who owned practically the entire town. You acknowledged that you were definitely more financially privileged than some people, but you’d never had the luxury of going to a private school (shoutout to East Highland) or having a private tutor. And even with as much money as your parents seemed to make, the idea of a trust fund was laughable. 

“OBX is kinda split. John B always described it like...two tribes, one island,” Kie smiled as you and your brother gave her deadpanned expressions, “So y’know who the kooks are, but the other half are the Pogues. Basically the bottom of the food chain. Pogues live on the Cut, the poorer side of the island. Kooks and Pogues don’t really get along.” 

“I’m gonna be completely honest with you, that’s like the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” you stated bluntly. 

“Wait is this like...Soc’s versus Greasers? Like The Outsiders?” Isaiah questioned and Kie’s eyebrows furrowed at the comparison. 

“You're telling me your whole island follows basic labelling like it’s an 80s high school movie?” you questioned in a state of shock and all Kie could do was nod. Kooks and Pogues and even Tourons were just something people knew growing up in the Outer Banks. She’d never really let it sink that other people probably found the concept ridiculous. 

“Do you have bad experiences with...Pogues or something,” you questioned and Kie shook her head firmly.

“Nah, I’m no Kook. They’re entitled, narcissistic, assholes.” 

“So you’re a Pogue? Then why are you here?” Isaiah laughed and Kie slumped in her seat. 

“My parents forced me here. I go to school with these assholes...but I’d never be like them,” Kie shook her head as she caught sight of kids she recognized from the Kook academy. Her family was less upper class, and more working middle class if she really thought about it. Unlike a lot of the highly privileged Kooks, Kie knew what it was like to need to work for the money they had. 

“So then how’s being a Pogue going for you exactly?” you questioned. Deep down you knew that  you probably shouldn’t have been entertaining this whole Kook vs. Pogue thing but you’d also never encountered an entire county of people that was so blatantly classist. 

“Literally great. I surf all day, I get to hang with my friends. The best part is that it’s away from all of...this,” Kie motioned to the crowd that you had separated yourselves from, “Speaking of, we’re actually having a kegger tomorrow. Would you guys be down to come?” Kie looked between you and your brother. 

“Uh yes, please,” you were quick to answer and Kie laughed, “Honestly I was preparing myself for the most boring fucking summer of my life, but I’m really glad we met you,” you admitted.

“Definitely won’t beat back home though,” Isaiah mentioned and you groaned. The thought of missing all the parties that were probably being thrown back in California made you frustrated. 

“Man don’t remind me.”

“You guys moved here from California right?” Kie asked so that she could keep herself in the loop. It wasn’t hard to pick up that you and your brother tended to go off into little conversations of your own but she understood that it was probably because neither of you knew Kie and therefore didn’t know what to bring up in conversation. Kie was an extroverted person but this was something she noticed Pope doing a lot.  

“Yeah, LA actually,” Isaiah confirmed, “Definitely not ‘Paradise on Earth,’ but...” 

“There’s no place like the Outer Banks,” Kie said, though the sarcasm dripped from her entire being. 

“Meh,” you shrugged off with a tone of disinterest and Kie laughed wholeheartedly. 

_________

The three of you ended up talking for the entirety of the night. Kie was determined to stay completely hidden away from the rest of the party’s residents, meaning she had kept herself planted in her chair for quite literally the entire time you guys were there. Isaiah, being how he was, had gotten up a few times to get more food or to grab something new to drink. He had come back with something for Kie each time. 

Kie was interesting, she led the conversation a majority of the time and constantly kept it flowing. You appreciated someone who could work past awkwardness and still keep up a conversation. You ended up exchanging phone numbers and social media and had talked about a whole lot of shit; from keggers, to your outfit, to how moving felt. Isaiah and Kie had even gone on a pretty long debate about music, (something about the top 5 albums of all time, or was it how meaningful a playlist was? or maybe it was about whether it was ok to separate an artist’s actions from their music?). 

Kie was a down to earth, do shit for herself, actions speak louder than words kind of girl. She spoke her mind about everything she was passionate about and though you weren’t preaching about sea life and turtles, you could obviously understand where she came from with her frustrations, you’d just never really met anyone who was so deeply passionate about it. 

The feeling of your phone vibrating against your leg took your attention off of Kie. 

“Hello?” you answered it and Kie paused.

“(N/N)! Where are you?!” Bea’s voice screeched and you furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance. 

“I’m with Zaya, we’re sitting by like some trees, I don’t know.”

“Mom says we’re leaving right now!” 

“Bea stop yelling,” you said firmly, “Ok, we’ll just meet you guys by the car then.” 

“Ok!” your sister yelled and before you could snap at her she ended the call. You shook your head and put your phone into your bag.

“We leaving?” Isaiah asked and you nodded as you gathered yourself and your belongings. Kie began to clean up as well, standing up and helping you and your brother out while you gathered up the empty water bottles and cans of soda. Now that Kie was standing you could see that she was actually a little taller than you originally thought.

“It was really nice meeting you Kie,” you said sincerely and Kie smiled. After the three of you cleaned up she helped lead you guys toward the front of the house without having to deal with whoever was left over at the party. You wondered for a moment about how she was pretty familiar with the layout of the home.

“I’ll see you guys at the kegger tomorrow?” Kie asked. 

“Uh, where’s that gonna be again?” you questioned as you spotted your family’s car.

“Oh it’s on the Boneyard,” Kie explained and you only stared at her blankly, “Ummm, y’know what. I could just pick you guys up?” 

“Yeah for sure,” Isaiah said and you tried not to think about how weird it was going to be arriving at a party at the same time as your brother. That was something you tended to avoid doing when you were back home considering you usually went with your friends. 

You and your brother bid Kie goodbye. You’d never been the type of person to initiate hugging, so when she gave the two of you a wave you found yourself just waving back awkwardly.

Now you were settled in the car, heading back home after a ridiculously tiring day. Bea was going off on a tangent about one thing or another and Isaiah had fallen asleep, wedged rather uncomfortably against the car door. You were texting in your group chat, telling them all about Kie, Kooks, Pogues, and everything in between. 

You wondered if you could finally get a dog.

taglist: @sspidermanss​

[boujeedolls]

rating the girls of the year (inspired by tiktok)

#18 they gave a white girl medium skin bc she has a “tan” lollll what. i dont know much about lea beyond that and her treehouse but when i opened her wikia page and read “1/8th brazilian” i was like close tab lollllllll just make a brazilian doll it’s ok!!!!!!!!

#17. grace was ok but definitely not my taste of person considering she can cook and romanticizes france and gets on a reality show ikufjfwefhuow remember that. and not the cool revolution france but like the macaroons and eiffel tower pandora bracelet after your holiday there tourist france. ag didnt use the ratatouille theme once in her movie

#16. i didn’t get too hype for blair but i feel like she is definitely gonna grow up to be a wine mom karen so i like her for that. also her hair, meet dress and of course....the overall and rainboot combo. she has a subscription to good housekeeping and she’s 10 i just know it. she has a pinterest board full of mason jars and is gonna name one of her kids mckaleigh

#15. saige was cute and love the southwest aesthetic but even as an artistic person i thought she was soooo annoyinggg in the fact that she acted like art class being taken away for a year was the end of the world. ik i sound like a boomer rn but saige you can just paint at home or in the fancy studio you have access to insert the kardashians kim there are people that are dying soundclip. (btw i think it was perfectly cool that they got funding for their school for arts education that’s fine and all but just her PRIVILEGE)

#14. i was obsessed with chrissa when she came out but like... not her. like the movie?? watched the trailor everyday and had the behind the scenes videos practically memorized. the friend dolls that were prettier than her doll. the outfits and most of all......the most chaotic ag product ever released....starburst. 2009. 

#13. mckenna was cool but she kind of scares me. i shant elaborate.

#12. you know what i haven’t read joss’s books at all but the fact that they brought back a surfing theme and finally have a cheerleader AND she has a canon disability makes her cool in my book.

#11. lindsey bergman was a sweet chicagoan jewish girl who just wanted to make people happy SHE DESERVES ALL THE HYPE 

#10. lanie was so adorable. like i really liked her camper even though it cost like a kidneys amount and i love her environmental theme and how truly passionate she was about it. the bunny on the leash is cute and she was the cutest illustrated girl imo also her sister playing the same thing over and over again until lanie lost it is so funny to me as a cello major 

#9. gabi was so interesting and DIDN’T DESERVE TO BE A RECYCLED DOLL!!!!!!!!! love that she was multifaceted and interested in many forms of expression whereas many times this line can get kind of one dimensional. love that we finally had representation for our speech impediment girls and oh yeah she’s still the only black contemporary character IN THE 19 YEARS SINCE AG DECIDED TO START MAKING 18 INCH CONTEMPORARY GIRLS. AND. THEY. REHASHED. A TRULY MEEEE!!! not her fault tho she’s a fictional character.

#8. isabelle was the only goty doll i owned but that’s not the point i mean i like her and her story and the ballet school thing but like....kinda rehashed marisol (i mean, they kinda had the right bc it was a new generation 9 years later and dance is a common interest) and her design was pretty boring but lovely nonetheless. she’s like the chocolate chip cookie of ag. like really plain but good.

#7. i honestly think kailey gets slept on i think she’s super pretty and an environmental queen and all around lovely 2003 hollister california surfer girl i miss when that was cool

#6 whoever thought of luciana deserves a raise someone really said “space girl with dyed hair” and everyone said mint SHE HAD A SPACE SHUTTLE SIMULATOR THING AND A WHOLE ASTRONAUT SUIT? the galaxy print? A STEM THEMEEEE FOR THE STEM GIRLSSSS

#5. kanani akina is like......the prettiest girl american girl ever thought of. like it’s almost unrealistic how gorgeous her doll and illustrations are. speaking of illustrations THE SEAL ONE??? REMEMBER THAT?? i had her in my hand and almost bought her once again gorgeous collection lives like a euphoric life IMAGINE living in a small kauai town and working at your family’s shave ice stand and coming home to your pet rooster goat and dog

#4. nicki fleming i adore her she is a beautiful and socially aware country girl who has trouble saying no i relate to her a lot and she grows so exponentially in her books, i would dare say even more than most of the other gotys. remember when she made cowboy hats look good.

#3. i genuinely love jess akiko mcconnell soooo fricken much our gorgeous girl getting kids interested in archaeology and halter tops her whole collection was amazing i really would’ve loved if they made more books of her traveling with her parents! 

#2. OUR LATINA QUEEN MARISOL LUNA she really was everything from her illustrations, her MEET OUTFIT her TRUNK her CAT her LITTLE MAZE GAME we love the west side chicago dancing queen she was everything no wonder ag decided to do goty every year after her ugh we stan

#1. and finally we have mia. iconic outfits. unique theme. amazing bedroom collection. humorous lawrence yep books. worked her way in custodial because money was tight, fun online games, once again need i remind you WE MET HER WHEN SHE RAN OVER THE BULLY WITH A ZAMBONI  

[solarsystem69]

Hi 😊 for the system asks how about 🤫: Any Funny System Stories? 🥰: Any Wholesome System Stories? 🎨: Any Hobbies That Everyone In The System Enjoys? - c (The Union)

(Some of this is text convos i’ve had with ex-best mates and some is nsfw cuz funny stories for us generally are rude in nature lol nothing too explicit just weird flirting really) 

we used to make lissie and max dance together and lissie is like "hes an arse but i like to dance so okay" and max is like "fuck off" he dances with her anyway. so like yeah. then we are listening to music and we're like "Dance with lissie" and hes like "no" and so lissie is like "just go back to your lonely tower then, you downer" and hes like "Fine, i will. I will go.. all alone... to my bedroom" like thats hmmm. so once hes gone, lilly is like "Thats an open invitation to you to come to his room to bone" and lissie is like "lol no... wait... is it??" and doll face is like "oh definitely  " and so we send lissie off to find out whether it was in invitation to bone or not. and in our front room we have screens. a main one for the outerworld and some other ones for different rooms in the inner world castle. and so i tap the screen cuz its a little sketchy to use. but anyway, lissie had been upstairs for a while so were worried he killed her  but we see what went on. Lissie went to his room and knocked on the door and he answers. and hes like "I thought you told me to go away." and shes like "Yeah but i didnt think you would and then lilly said you gave me an invitation to join you and bone so.. i just..." and hes like "You came to take me up on my offer to bone?" smirk and shes like "Ugh no. you're an arse and youre rude and obnoxious" and hes like "Oh please go on, im very flattered rn" and shes like "it wasnt a compliment. ugh i hate you." and he like " actually you dont. you like me " and shes like "what no ew" and hes like "You do. i can see it and i understand why. They are all the same downstairs and im not like them" and shes like "Woah, dont you dare say they. they are all individuals" and hes like "Yes. but theyve all got strong morals and good hearts. and youre bored. so you like me" and shes like "ill kick your ass okay. those things are good things to have. youre a jerk" and by now shes like gradually moved closer to be 'intimidating'? and hes like "oh really?" smirkyness and shes like "Yea. youre just so mean and arrogant and you are such a bad person, you need to be--" and hes like "Say it, baby. i dare you." and shes like "..Punished.." and then bam hes practically throwing her on the bed and like ......... so thats when i turned that screen off. so like hilarious in hindsight but at the time. shooketh.

Doll face and lilly integrated (merged into 1 chick) which makes sense because doll face is too emotionally stable but impulsive and lilly is too emotionally unstable but logical. they didnt choose it and it is fairly easy now. or easier. doll face (loved them so much but ) was wayyy too impulsive. always making decisions for the worse but were fun which would have been fine if they actually cared but they didnt. thats okay. they were young. and lilly was lonely and needed to care a little less about her past. and idk. but its deffo for the better. yeah they were family basically anyway so i think shes really happy about it tho sometimes they do look in a mirror like "Wow. now ive got no dick and some small tits". i mean lmao. she really does focus on the small boobs thing. and we're like "they are average 🙂 " and shes like "No. easy for u to say tit-anosaurus rex"

Also, Nate almost called one of our ex-best mates mum’s a milf. 

(ugh going through old messages to mates to see if i can find more funny stories ad accidentally came across trauma ewwww miss me with that shit)

Wholesome... hmmm. we have plenty of sorta funny, interesting stories. Oh actually yes. I know. Okay, so i sorta just am always stalking around the inner world so i see almost everything. But this starts in our front room (like our fronting room but our living room, its genius ik)  we were listening to music (or Nate was) and Fox decided to come dance in the fronting room to the bops and me and Lilly saw them dancing very saucily together 😏 ya know. So we laughed and left. So we're listening to music on the way home and Lilly, Fox and Nate are in the room. And its all chill and then Nate starts flirting with Fox and Fox is all blushing and looking down like "Idk what to do rn" and Lilly and I are laughing and then Fox slightly reciprocated (as a joke probably...) And now Nate jas him basically pinned against a wall. Not physically just like with his intense eye contact. 😂 its hilarious. Lilly is threatening to go get Lissie because she was like "You two dicks aren't going near each other." And Nates like "What gives you the right to declare where my cock goes?" 😂 like wow. And Lilly was like "Oh I'm just going to go get Lissie then" and Nate was like "No no. Don't do that." Cuz Lissie really has the right 😂😂. Nate asked Fox to kiss him and Fox said "No..." 😂 savage but then you make my balls so blue from heathers came on and I'm dead. Fox: Sorry. Its not you. I just can't.. Nate: Okay. You don't have to. Lilly and me: *Sad eye contact cuz we know why Fox doesn't want to kiss anyone* Fox: *Kisses Nate on the cheek* Nate: *Blushes adorably- breaking his bad ass persona* Nate: you know not all sexual stuff involves kissing. Uh. If you don't want it to. Fox: *giggles quietly like a lil twink* I don't want any sex though. As pretty as you are, I just don't want that. Nate: *is absolutely crushed* Yeah. Okay. But I need some cock so imma head out and try to gain some pride. Lilly: I've not built the village in this innerworld yet so.. Idk where you're heading out to. Nate: *sighs so deeply* I'll be in my room then. Stay out. Fox: Sorry. I didn't mean to egg him on at first only to deny him. I just thought it would be fun and then I thought even if it did lead to sex then it wouldn't matter because I don't mind and then I remembered that I did mind and I don't want that. Lilly: *hugs Fox* that's alright. He'll get over it. He's tried it on with all of us atleast once and we're all women. I would've saved Fox from Nate only He didn't look like he wanted to be saved. at this point in time, our innerworld was still being built by lilly so we all were sleeping in one room, with the littles. and i witnessed the sweetest thing. So I was doing the final checks to make sure everyone was in bed and since Nate doesn't want to sleep with the Littles anymore (they can be slightly irritating) I had to go find his room. He's in a tower room. Its not got a bed and it's freezing but hey no loud children. And as I'm about to turn the corner I see Fox knocking on his door after clearly being there for a while debating whether or not to because Nate told us to stay out. Quickly Nate opens the door and immediately as he sees fox, puts his hand on Fox's arm gently (how sweet. Hes not usually gentle) and Fox is all: I'm sorry. I just couldn't kiss you. Just recently with the bad things and the kissing involved in the bad thing. And Nates all: its okay. I shouldn't have put pressure on you like that. I'm so sorry. I understand. And he's hugging him. Like and kissing his head and hes like "Is that alright?" And fox is like "Yeah. Its nice." And squeezes the hug tighter. So sweet honestly. And then Nates like "I know I'm really sexual and that makes you uncomfortable a lot but you know I would never want you to do anything you didn't want to." And fox is all like "I'm just so scared that I'm never going to be able to kiss anyone ever again because I can't get over that time and I really want to forget it." And Nates hugging him really tight and cuz he's taller, he can rest his chin on Fox's head. And im still watching cuz I'm weird and entranced by these confessions. And then Nates like "Do you want to come in?" And Fox is like "No Littles tonight?" And Nates smiling nicely and is like "No I get nightmares and I don't wanna wake them up. And theyre annoying as heck." And fox is like "I know what you mean. Yeah I'll come in." And Nate leads Fox in by his hips gently. *fox and lissie talking bout feelings* Lissie: what's wrong, my sweet? Who hurt you? Fox: *Wiping tears away* no one really. I'm fine. I don't even know why I'm crying. Lissie: Its okay to be sad sometimes. Fox: I'm not sad. I'm nothing. Just numbness. Lissie: that's worse than being sad. Tell me, sweetie. What happened. Fox: I asked Nate to be my boyfriend. I mean, I was kissing him and I didn't get any flashbacks even when I was overthinking and remembering. Nothing and it was so relieving. And I asked him. And he said he had to go for a walk. Lissie: Oh darling. It'll be okay. He loves you. Fox: Does he now? sigh I just love him so much. I love him more than you approve of. I love him so much I don't know what to do. But in not what he needs. He wants physical love and even so, he cant handle commitment. And I know that you don't want us together so you'll get your wish but I need him. Ive never been so relaxed and happy. Lissie: That's true. I've never seen you so happy as recently. I'm glad Nate could bring that to you but I don't approve, no. But if you're going to be together, I will support it. I will encourage happiness, that's a promise I can keep. I'm not disapproving to make it impossible for you to be together, in only disapproving so you have to prove to me that you two can make it. If you two make each other happy, I will be there for you no matter what. Fox: Thank you..... They spoke more but I didn't listen. After strictly avoiding Nate for three days, Fox finally has the courage to face up to him. As the group exit the cozy dining room, Fox weakly holds on to Nate's elbow. Obeying, Nate stares at the ground, clenching his jaw. "I'll start, I suppose." Fox forces out, false confidence strengthening the statement. "I-I'm really sorry that I asked you out. Of course, you wouldn't say yes. That's fine. Completely fine. And I'm really sorry that I made you uncomfortable with me. I really do like you though. Like love really. And even though you don't feel the same... I can't just be your friend. We can keep trying but it will just make us both miserable. We're just lucky the others are giving us time to figure it out instead of just getting rid of us for being dramatic." Fox rants,  getting out of breath and manic toward the end. "I have never heard you say so many words. Are you okay?" Nate smiles charmingly, concerned. "No." Fox answers honestly, a tremble in his voice. Suddenly, Fox is embraced by warm, strong arms. Wriggling further into Nate's warmth, Fox breathes in the boyish scent of Nate. All sharp and smooth. The arms tighten around Fox's shoulders. "I love you too. You know this. I'm sorry that I've been... Not great recently. I just thought we could both use some space. The village... It's the next thing to be built. But I-I don't just want it there for sex. I wouldn't do that to you. I just like the people they're interesting and good friends. You're the one I want. They're nothing compared to the beautiful complexities of you. I hope you'll accept my request to be your boyfriend." Nate excruciatingly slowly spills his soul, hands rubbing the back of Fox's neck how he likes it. Fox freezes, slowly pulling away after a few moments. "You... I'm sorry, what?" Fox whispers, teary eyed. "Please let me be your boyfriend. I'll beg on my knees, I swear. I'm so sorry. I've never been so lonely as I've been without you. Please come back to me." Nate practically sobs, hands reaching up to cover his face. "You actually want to be my boyfriend? What? No... That can't be right... Right? What?" Fox, ever the articulate bean, mutters, completely confused and shocked. "Yes. I want to be your boyfriend. I won't have sex with anyone and I won't hug or touch anyone else I swear. I miss you so much. I hate everyone else so much. I need you." Nate falls to his knees, taking Fox's hand in his and pressed his lips to the soft skin as he rambles, tears falling down his face. "You absolute idiot. You moron. You complete fool." Fox sighs, rambling random tiny insults, before falling to his knees and taking Nate's face in his hands. "I'm so totally in love with you." Fox mumbles, pressing his forehead to Nate's. a couple weeks later: they sang a love song together. 😩 I literally cried. Nate on his guitar and Fox singing. Ive never seen him so relaxed and happy. Ahhh. I wanna cry I'm so excited. 😂😂😂 these boys will be the death of me. theyre both the biggest drama queens and they so gay.

im so sorry that was so long but their relationship created so much drama between us bc we didnt know if it would work out and theyre the most wholesome boys, except nate but well he has his moments. softest boiis uwu. 

Everyone in the system likes to sing and play games and read. Fox mainly likes to write and stuff but Evan is also knows for her nice stories on wattpad lmao. We arent very active, so we dont do much sport but we do like badminton and we used to do a running club. Evan likes baking, where it stressed me tf out. i cant even crack an egg right. only Evan draws really. Our main hobbies are minecraft, eating unhealthy foods and sleeping :) 

[gascon-en-exil]

What's your favorite depictions of religion or religious characters in FE?

I think I’ve approached this topic from a character angle often enough between my series on FE’s faux-Catholicism and light magic and my post on Natasha, so let’s tackle this a little differently. Breaking it down by setting:

Archanea (+Ylisse, for whatever that’s worth)

Weakly and inconsistently developed, as is par for the course here. I get the impression that the original conception of magic in Fire Emblem was that it’s all some form of religion or spirituality, and while elements of that have persisted throughout the series it’s not really clear in Marth’s games that, for instance, the way someone like Merric perceives magical ability is in any way distinct from the way someone like Elice does. Why do the remakes make Wendell a sage but Boah a bishop especially when Wendell is decked out like a pope? Does it even matter when you can just reclass them back and forth? At least Gharnef’s Dark Pontifex title is pretty cool and manages to be so while playing up this confusion.

Ylisse is...ugh. Lissa is not a cleric in the religious sense as far as I can tell (a trait she inherits from Mist), Libra is all steadfast albeit generic devotion to Naga and tasteless trap jokes, Brady is almost purely comedy, and if there’s any theological element to the position of Exalt it escaped my notice. The only apparent organized religion in Awakening is Plegia’s Grimleal, which is just sad (although it does neatly explain the direction they took with Fates, come to think of it). 

Valentia

Really strong in Echoes, benefiting considerably from the colorful and variously fleshed-out personalities of the Priory characters. Following on from Archanea, I do appreciate that even in Gaiden the setting commits to depicting the game’s magical classes as segregated between the continent’s two faiths; you don’t fight mages or clerics in the main story, only the arcanists, cantors, and witches of the Duma Faithful. It helps better characterize the followers of both Mila and Duma according to their magical practices. We know, on the one hand, that the followers of Mila blend simple everyday piety and austerity with vaguely Catholic (Marian, specifically, i.e..devoted to the Blessed Mother) rituals that are implied to be normally more lavish than we get to see in-game, in keeping with the hedonism of the Zofian upper classes - and with Catholicism at its best, as far as I’m concerned. The Duma Faithful, meanwhile, are casually sexist and totally into cavorting with and eventually looking like monsters themselves, making it little wonder that lay Rigelians seem to be less engaged with their church than the Zofians are with theirs. As I mentioned previously, however, Tatiana is a problem. Despite being a worshiper of Duma (mentioned in supplementary material but I don’t ever believe in game?) she’s a saint just like Silque and Genny and doesn’t seem to be much interested in the severity or fanaticism of Duma’s followers at large. Maybe she’s just too distracted by Zeke’s dick....

Jugdral

Disjointed? That’s a good word for this one I find. Again there doesn’t seem to be an organized religion that covers the entire continent at the time the games are set, although the Edda church takes that role in the epilogue. Spirituality among the playable cast is subtle but varied, in part because Jugdralians are willing to deify not just the twelve dragons who empowered the holy bloodlines but also the Crusaders who received their blood. Claud’s a martyr figure, but for all his defining fatalism I still don’t find him very interesting, and then we’re never given sufficient context to determine what faith Safy and Tina and Coirpre/Charlot are even practicing. Maybe it’s the same as the Edda church - and who knows what that even means - or maybe it’s not. It’s telling how easy it is to overlook that August was allegedly defrocked for performing torture when there’s so little sense of what the church in Jugdral even encompasses. And why does Edain think that becoming a cleric will lead her to find her missing sister - do the clergy routinely perform missionary work? As with Ylisse it’s the dark religion that actually has its act together here.

Elibe

It’s taken a recent replay of Binding Blade for me to recall this, but the Elimine church plays a fairly significant background role in the events of that game. Across both games there are a plethora of Eliminian clergy from different countries and from all walks of life, and both piety and corruption take multiple forms in these two games. I’ve noted before that Kenneth is a particularly memorable one for me even though he’s a one-off boss; something about a bishop preaching atheism (or secular humanism in the form of worshiping Nergal, close enough) really stands out for the irony. There’s also the contrast between the lecherous but (mostly) heroic Saul and the greedy Eliminians who support the coup in Etruria and the alliance with Bern. Yeah, none of these guys are model clergymen, but it’s how they specifically fail in their vocations that matters (and anyway, it’s not as though we know for certain that the Eliminians have vows of chastity. They probably don’t.). The GBA games are also the only ones to distinguish between priests and monks, and although that’s mostly a mechanical distinction it’s not all that common among fantastical depictions of Catholicism. I assume Renault was a priest before he promoted, if he’s saying Mass and hearing confessions. What were the FE7 localizers thinking...eh.

Magvel

Not quite as competently handled as Elibe, which is something that may be said of Magvel worldbuilding in general. Again the main religion feels a little formless; it’s presumably based out of Rausten, but since all the game’s playable clergy come from different countries and none of them can support each other I don’t really know what to make of it. The most interesting bits I covered in my post on Natasha, mostly pertaining to her support with Knoll and how it frames the contrast between light and dark magic as the conflict between religion and science. Dark magic as an intellectual pursuit into forbidden knowledge is unique to the GBA games as elsewhere it’s framed as a competing religious presence, but seeing as Grado’s dark research figures heavily into the plot I can run with that angle. Riev needed more backstory though, for the insight into the operation of the Rausten church if nothing else.

Tellius

Begnion is culturally something of a mess, pulling from the Roman Republic, the medieval Church, 19th century imperialist Europe (mostly the Anglos and their obviously overcompensating empire), and probably also Japan’s deified emperors. Despite the overtly Catholic trappings of their clergy it’s therefore difficult to parse out just how I feel about the worshipers of Ashera. It doesn’t help at all that the primary examples of Begnion’s clergy we get are the senators, who are all various flavors of terrible people up to and including the prime minister who’s been orchestrating omnicide for the better part of two decades. Doubly so when the PoV character for much of these interactions is Ike, who hates anything related to rule by heredity because it comes attached to basic social etiquette. It’s also odd that the only other named clergy, playable or enemy, in Tellius are a pair of commoner priests with no status or influence whatsoever who just happen to fall in with what will eventually become two of the biggest armies on the continent. And also like in Magvel, Rhys and Laura never talk to each other outside of generic “supports”, so good luck trying to figure out what comparative theology in Tellius would even look like. The Radiant Dawn saint outfits are great, admittedly, as is Oliver’s theme though he himself is the epitome of a joke character - and a tasteless one at that, in line with all those tired jokes about pedophile Catholic priests.

Norshido

Why does Nohr not have a Catholic Church equivalent? Their dark mages double as their clergy apparently, not that we see any evidence of this among the playable ones. I don’t know enough about Buddhism or Shintoism to comment on Hoshido’s clergy, although I get that Azama is a comically terrible monk. I wonder what the cultural significance of great masters using lances while priestesses use bows is? From what I gather the former are more like Buddhist monks while the latter resemble Shinto mikos, but isn’t the naginata traditionally associated with women in Japanese society? I’m completely out of my element here...moving on.

Fódlan

Jumping the gun a bit, but there’s such a huge focus on the church in promotional material that I can’t help but think this’ll be one of the more thought-provoking ones, for better or worse. As quick as everyone’s been to vilify the church I still hope that the Adrestian route at least gives you the option to support it, or at least not make them wholly evil. Oh, and bishops are back, yay!

[all-hail-the-witcher]

I came back to you

look at that yall, your eyes do not deceive you, I actually did write something.

this is part two to this horrific angst mess

also uhhh shouts to mikey for describing a kiss to me (wink wonk) and doin the plan and shouts to fizz for being fizz and scalping me for making a Terrible Mistake

_______

genre: happy floofy make up stuff (I almost wrote angst ha lol)

ship: ralbert off and also married blush cause We Stan

warnings: hmm al is still paralyzed, race’s shoulder is still fucked, I think someone mentions depression or anti depressants or smth, fighting, screaming, I think thats it

editing: lkdfjghlkaghj

words: 3000 something

______

Mush ran full force down the hallway straight into his husband.

“Whoa, Mushy,” Blink said grabbing his shoulders so he didn’t topple over. “What’s going on? Is hell chasing you?”

“Sorta,” Mush said before toning down him voice. “We need to talk. Right now.”

Blink raised his eyebrows. “Is everything okay?”

“Depends on your definition of okay,” Mush said. “Can you spare ten minutes?”

“Now?” Blink’s eyebrows knitted together.

Mush nodded and grabbed Blink’s hand, dragging him down several twisting hallways to a storage closet. He looked around for several seconds before yanking open the door and unceremoniously pushing Blink inside.

Mush flicked on the old light, casting a faint yellow glow on him and Blink. “We need to get Race and Albert back together.”

Blink stared at him for several long seconds before shrieking “What?”

“They’re totally miserable!” Mush groaned dramatically. “Race is convinced that Albert is paralyzed because of him, and Albert is convinced that Race doesn’t want him anymore and it’s driving me insane. Do you know how many of Albert’s check ups consist of him asking about how Race is? Every. Single. One. I can’t take it anymore. And it’s not just that, it’s making it harder for him. He was supposed to be all healed like three months ago. He was finally cleared last week. It’s not supposed to take six months to heal from a shattered pelvis! Three to four maybe, but six is insane. And don’t even get me started on Race, that kid is a disaster. He’s come to see me four whole times about his- babe, why are you laughing?” Mush cut himself off when he noticed Blink’s hysterics.

“Babe, I thought that you were hurt or we were about to be attacked,” Blink said as he fought to compose himself. “I wasn’t expecting you to lecture me on Albert and Race’s well-being.”

“But it’s truuueee!” Mush exclaimed, flailing his arms around dramatically. “For the safety of their health and wellbeing we have to get them back together.”

“Are you sure about this?” Blink asked. “They might not want to get back together and we don’t want to make it worse.”

“Blink, I’m their doctor and it’s affecting their mental health. I’d much rather try than have to prescribe them antidepressants,” Mush said.

“Alright,” Blink sighed poking Mush’s chest. “But if this backfires, I don’t know you.”

“Babe,” Mush sounded confused. “We’re married.”

“Then I’m printing divorce papers,” Blink said with an air of sarcasm.

Mush fake gasped. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh I would, Race is very scary when he's angry.”

“Yeah,” Mush agreed, “but he’s a stick. Albert is way more intimidating.”

“Yes,” Blink agreed. “But albert is also paralyzed, I doubt he’d be able to beat me up.”

Mush lightly slapped Blink upside the head. “Now now,” he scolded in his best doctor voice, “don't be ableist.”

Blink rolled his eyes. “When was the last time you saw him get in a fight?”

Mush considered for a minute. “Ah, yesterday actually. Romeo took his cookie at lunch.” He smirked mischievously. “See? Your point is invalidated.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Blink scowled.

Mush popped his foot, smiled over his shoulder and batted his eyelashes playfully at Blink who groaned again before opening the door to the hallway.

“I think Race is scheduled for lookout tower duty today with Buttons, but Buttons already told me he has to call off for some reason so if you really want I can put Albert on with him,” Blink said as they headed down the hall back to central command.

“Depends,” Mush said. “Can we watch them make up on the security cameras?”

Blink looked at him incredulously. “Is that even a question?”

Mush jumped up and down and clapped his hands together. “I’ll get the popcorn!”

•••

Albert wheeled himself out of the rickety elevator and over to the door of the lookout tower. Why Blink has decided to put him on lookout tower duty at the last minute was beyond him - he knew it was a pain in the ass for him to get to.

He knocked loudly on the heavy wooden door. He hadn’t quite caught who he was on duty with so he was slightly horrified when a sadly familiar mop of blonde hair peeked out.

“Hey,” he tried to say casually. “Blink put me on duty with you last second, Buttons had a thing.”

Race merely nodded and opened the door, staring at the floor the entire time. He closed it behind Albert and wordlessly went back to his seat in front of the binoculars.

Albert sighed, not looking forward to nearly three hours of this, and wheeled himself over to the other chair - which was much too close to Race for his liking. With practiced ease, he maneuvered himself from his wheelchair into the other chair so that he could use the binoculars. He didn’t miss how Race kept his eyes averted the entire time.

“Who are you covering?” Albert asked almost reluctantly. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear Race’s voice yet.

Thankfully though, Race apparently wasn’t ready to talk yet and he pointed to three moving dots on the computer screen that was built into the tabletop. Race was watching JoJo and Henry, Smalls and Checks, and Finch and Spot, leaving Albert with Specs and Sniper and Mike and Ike.

Lookout tower duty essentially meant that you sat in the tower and kept tabs on the scouts who were out on patrol. They all had trackers on them - a new improvement since Albert’s accident - which transmitted their location to the digitized map on in the table. The scouts could send up a distress signal if they were in range and it was the people in the lookout tower who were responsible for sending them backup or medical assistance. Lookout tower duty also involved keeping tabs on the enemy and alerting the scouts if they got within range. It wasn’t a hard job, but it was generally improved by conversation.

•••

“This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen,” Mush groaned, slamming his head down on the table.

“That’s cause it’s not a movie,” Blink said, checking over some papers. “It’s real life.”

Mush groaned again and flopped onto Blinks shoulder. They had been watching Albert and Race on the security cameras for almost an hour but so far Albert had only said a few sentences and Race hadn’t said anything at all. For once in their lives they were actually doing their work, and merely sitting stiffly and sneaking glances at the other every few minutes. It was enough to make Mush’s head explode.

“Blinkkk,” Mush whined, “why couldn’t you have given them a job where they actually have to interaccttttttt?”

“Look, I told you not to meddle in their love lives,” Blink reminded him. “And this was what Race had. Albert hasn’t really been cleared yet to do stuff that involves interaction.” He paused. “Which you would know, because you’re his doctor.”

Mush whacked him on the arm with his badge.

“Besides,” Blink continued, “this is usually a job that requires talking, I’m surprised they haven’t said anything to each other yet.”

Mush stared at the array of buttons on Blink’s control panel. “Well,” he began sheepishly, “maybe we could contact one of the scout groups and have them send up a distress signal, surely that would get them to talk?’

Blink spun his chair around and gave Mush a cold, hard stare. “No,” he emphasized. “Distress calls are complicated and take a lot of people to answer, and they’re also dangerous. I am not risking the security of this entire operation just so our friends can talk.”

“You’re no fun,” Mush grumbled, shifting in his chair and looking back at the monitor that was displaying the security camera footage. Much to his surprise, Albert was turned slightly toward Race and it appeared that he was about to say something.

Mush leaned over and cranked up the sound. “Finally,” he sighed happily. “Babe, pass the popcorn, its finally getting interesting.”

“We don't have any?”

“Then go grab some. We’re gonna need it.”

•••

It felt like he had been sitting in silence for hours when finally Mike and Ike moved to a different location on the map. Albert reached for his pen to make note, only to discover that it had run out of ink. He groaned internally upon seeing that the pen cup was on Race’s side of the table.

“Hey, uh-”

Race jumped at the sound of Albert’s voice and Albert gave him an expressionless smile.

“Sorry. Could you just, uh, pass me a pen? Mine’s outta ink.”

Race nodded and wordlessly passed him one. Albert couldn’t help but notice the stiff robotic movements he was using - his shoulder was bothering him, and by the looks of it he hadn’t done anything to help it.

Albert opened his mouth, he couldn’t just let Race suffer in silence. Even after he had dumped him, he just couldn’t sit by and watch while he was in pain, it just wasn’t in his nature.

“Race?” Albert asked gently.

Race paused his writing but said nothing.

“Is your shoulder bothering you?” When Race didn’t respond, Albert took it as an invitation to proceed. “You’re holding it weird, and it looks painful. Have you been taking your meds? Do you want me to rub it for you?”

Race sighed, throwing his pen down onto the table and rubbing his temples with his hands. “You shouldn’t still care this much about me, not when I did- I did that to you.” He pointed at Albert’s wheelchair.

“Is that why you left me?” Albert felt anger bubbling up inside him. “You couldn’t own up to your mistakes?”

“No, I-”

“Then why else did you break up with me over a note?” Albert was furious now. “You could have at least done it in person!”

“No you don’t understand! I couldn’t bear to see you like that!” Race’s voice was scratchy - almost as if he hadn’t used it in awhile - and it cracked as he began to yell.

“You didn’t want me because I was disabled?”

“Al I didn’t want it to happen that way, you have to believe me!” Race begged.

“Then why didn’t you ever come see me? I was in the hospital for over a month and you couldn’t drag your sorry ass there to at least pay me a visit!”

“Albert I-”

“No, face it, you didn’t want me because I’m broken now! I’m not good enough for you because I can’t walk anymore, right! Well I’m still the same person, Race! It’s still me! And I still love you, even if you don’t love me!” Albert angrily turned back to his work, blocking out Race’s attempts at an apology.

•••

“MUSH!” Blink shrieked. “Stop this nonsense right now, can’t you see they’re fighting!”

Mush stood, transfixed as he watched Albert and Race scream at each other on the cameras. This had been a bad, bad idea.

“Mush!” Blink yelled again, shaking his arm. “We have to do something here before this gets bad!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m thinking okay?” Mush rubbed his hand across his forehead.

“Well think harder! I don’t wanna deal with blood later!”

Mush sighed, “Blink would you just-”

“Hey Blink could you run- oh hey Mush, what are you guys doing?”

The two of them looked up, utterly startled to see Jack standing in front of them, leaving through a folder of papers.

“Uh, paperwork,” Blink said immediately, picking up the stack of paper closest to him and looking it over casually. Mush followed suit, picking up another stack of paper, only to realize he was holding it upside down.

“Yeah….o kay,” Jack said uncertainly. “I can come back later...alright? I don’t wanna get caught in the middle of your married weirdness.” He backed up a few steps before running down the hallway.

“Paperwork?” Mush asked. “Really?”

Blink rolled his eyes. “Thank me later, let’s just get back to making sure that they don’t kill each other, okay?”

Mush looked at the screen again, and then looked twice. Albert and Race seemed to be, talking? Not screaming?

“Blink wait-” he said. “I think they’re doing it themselves.”

•••

After several long minutes of Race profusely apologizing, Albert had had enough. He had to face the facts: he was still very much in love with the idiot in front of him and he’d be damned if he didn't take this opportunity to make things right.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Albert spoke softly, anxiously twirling his pen in his fingers. “It’s just...I’m tired of there not being an us anymore. Ever since my accident I’ve been so alone. I….fucking hell, I need you Racer.”

“Albie,” Race sighed, staring down at his map, “I need you too. It’s been so painful not being around you. But I don't want to hurt you any more that I already have.”

“Listen, I’m not pointing any fingers because I know that this could have happened to anyone, okay?” Race nodded limply. “You leaving me in the dust like that though? That hurt more than the actual injury, or the surgeries, or the pt.” “Al, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, physically or emotionally, I just-”

“Oh would you shut up and get over here?” Al interrupted, suddenly very much aware that there was far too much space between them. “I need to hold you.”

Race got up and moved slowly toward Albert, frowning when he patted his lap. “Aren’t I going to hurt you?”

“If you were I wouldn’t be able to feel it,” Albert shrugged. “I can’t feel anything from my hips down.”

“Al, I-”

“Don't you dare say ‘I’m sorry’ it’s not your fault, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good,” Albert smiled, pulling Race onto his lap and sighing in content as he wound his arms around his shoulders.

“God, I missed you so much,” Race sounded close to tears as he nuzzled his face into Albert’s shoulder, breathing in deeply.

“Never leave me again, okay?” Albert whispered, his breath tickling Race’s ear as they melted further into each other.

“Kiss?” Race blushed as he pulled away from Albert slightly.

Albert smiled and pressed a soft kiss onto Race’s lips which he returned, gentle and slow. When their lips broke Race snuggled back into Albert’s shoulder. “Did I kiss it better?” he asked, reaching up to play with the ends of Albert’s hair.

Albert could only describe the emotion that overcame him as love. “Yes,” he breathed contentedly, “yes you did.”

•••

“TAKE THAT!” Mush screamed in excitement, throwing a fist full of popcorn at Blink. “I TOLD YOU MY PLAN WOULD WORK!” He continued his victory dance around his husband as Race and Albert held each other tightly on the cameras.

“Yes, yes,” Blink sighed, picking pieces of popcorn off of his precarious stacks of paperwork. “I’m very proud of you.” “Proud enough for a kiss?” Mush came to a stop in front of Blink, batting his eyelashes dramatically.

“Proud enough for a kiss,” Blink reluctantly agreed, squeaking in surprise when Mush dramatically dipped him, but enjoying his husband’s breathy laughter against his lips.

“Ew.”

The two of them looked up startled to see Romeo, Jack, and Davey staring at them with mixed expressions of disgust painted on their faces. The end of shift bell must have rung without them noticing.

“What are you two up to?” Jack asked suspiciously. “You were being weird when I was over here before too.”

“We got Race and Albert back together!” Mush exclaimed, clapping his hands together excitedly. Three sets of eyes widened. “Look!” Mush said, pointing to the cameras where Race was standing by awkwardly as Albert maneuvered himself back into his chair. The group watched with bated breath as Race leaned down to mush his lips against Albert’s before they exited the watchtower.

“HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT?!” Romeo screeched, jumping up and down as he accosted Mush with questions. “I’ve been trying for weeks and it hasn’t worked!”

“I think we should just be happy that they did it,” Davey said, leaning against the wall. “Those two were driving all of us insane.”

“Tell me about it,” Jack sighed. “If i had to hear Race ask one more time how Albert was doing I was gonna punt him off the roof without a second thought.”

Davey glared at him sideways.

“Well, maybe there would have been some second thoughts,” Jack said quickly, trying to backtrack. “You know what? Just forget I said anything.”

“I still can’t believe you managed to get the two of them back together,” Romeo repeated, shaking his head in disbelief. “Those two are more stubborn than a pair of yaks who-”

“AL SLOW DOWN!”

Romeo was interrupted by Albert speeding into command in his wheelchair with Race seated on his lap. The two of them crashed into a wall, sending them flying in a heap of giggles.

“Ah, back to normal already I see,” Davey mused, stepping over the heap of woefully in love boyfriends. “On behalf of us all, may I say: ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME!”

“Jeez Davey,” Race said, pulling himself up to his feet and righting Albert’s chair. “You don't have to be so blunt about it.” He turned to help Albert, who was in the process of trying to get himself up by doing a terribly executed kick up before giving in and accepting Race’s assistance.

“Yes I do,” Davey said, gesturing to Blink and Mush. “If it weren’t for the co captains of romance here, you two would still be hopeless depressed disasters.”

“I’m right here!” Romeo whined.

“Oh no,” Blink said, ignoring Romeo. “It was all Mush, I had nothing to do with it.”

“Oh was it now?” Race said, marching over to Mush with a devilish glint in his eye. “We will be having words later, Dr. Medding In His Patient's Love Lives.”

Mush shrank back in fear.

“C’mon Race,” Albert said, wheeling over. “Leave the man alone, he was just trying to help us. I, for one, am incredibly grateful.”

“See, someone appreciates my efforts,” Mush scowled.

Race shrugged indifferently. “This is still not acceptable. Meet me tonight, three am, behind the supply closet. We’ll settle this the old fashioned way.” He cracked his knuckles for extra emphasis.

Mush scoffed and turned back to Blink as the two of them made their way down the hallway. “Did you see that, babe?” Mush said. “As if they could have gotten back together without my efforts. They’re so- wait, what's this?”

Blink had thrust a few sheets of paper at him while he had been rambling.

“Divorce papers,” he said simply, turning on his heel and walking off down the opposite hallway. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

Mush stared at the papers in his hands for a few long seconds before taking off after his husband.

“LOUIS GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK HERE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”

______

ah yes yes what good kiddos

feedback is always appreciated hmu to be on the tag list

actually if you dont wanna be on my tag list any more could you let me know cause some of you dont interact with my fics and its a pain in the ass to put the whole thing on 

tag list @fairly-awkward-trashcan @well-the-kids-do-too @racetrackcook @bouncyscreamingnewsboys

@ughwaitwhat @aw-jus-let-em-try @ben-cook-can-cook @the-woild-is-my-what-now @tommy-s-s0cks @voice-foundshoe-lost @galaxy-trees13 @stopthe-presses @ridin-in-style @pinecovewoods @i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing @bencookisagod @be-more-chill-evan-hansen @hellasoulless @stellar-alpaca @saxoph-ella @smolcanadiankid @disney-princess-sized @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @insane-tomato @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @have-we-got-news-for-you @thatfancyclam @myidkwhatmynameisblog @legoflambwrites @that-one-newskid @not-a-scab @albertdasillvaprotectionsquad

@entschuldigung-bitches

@thebroadwayaesthetic

@tea-and-theater

@thomasbeingthomas

@seasickdolphin

@auspicioustarantula

@newsies-of-ny

@mrs-higgins

@sunshine-e-cigarettes

@spot-me50-papes

@santafe-cafe

@papesdontsellthemselves

@king-of-new-yoirk

@deathcast-s

@the-poodles-of-pulitzer

@hopefully-not-the-ghostbusters

[furederiko]

Advance Notice: Behold, for this is my first monthly review for "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger"...

I had planned on publishing a First Impression post when this show premiered on February 11th, 2018, but I ended up scrapping that idea due to several reasons. I figured I should just go ahead with the review for the first episode having seen it with subs, but another hurdle came barging on my way (forcing me to be off the grid for a brief amount of time prior to my latest post) to the point that now I practically have watched 3 subbed episodes already. LOL. So as you can see, I've finally decided to just convert it into a monthly review (consisting of episode 1 to 3 that aired Sunday, February 25th) for the series anyway. Not unlike what I did with "Kamen Rider Build", of course. But there's a catch! Since I don't want my efforts for the First Impression to go to waste, I'm going to start with them first before heading directly to my Overall thoughts on each episode. Okay then, here goes...

First Impression

NOTE: Another reminder before I start. This list was written as soon as I finished watching the first episode. It contained my personal notes and INITIAL reactions to the story, theme, and also characters, some of most definitely have more or less evolved since then. So if it might sound a bit outdated, that's just the way it is. Can't help it, these were from three weeks ago... XD - Phantom Thief? More like... burglar. I'm talking about the premiere's opening sequence, that is. While it was designed to be cinematic, to me it also felt like a missed opportunity. The writer for this episode (was it lead writer Junko Komura?) probably forgot or got him/herself confused on the basic rule of a 'Kaitou'/Phantom Thieves. What made a Phantom Thief different than regular thieves or pickpockets, was in their modus operand of sending/handing out notice way ahead of their operation in order to challenge the owner of the item. Hence why it is called ADVANCE NOTICE. Moreso, they would infiltrate the target location meticulously and secretly using tricks and deceits while naturally avoiding to cause too much of a fuzz as much as possible. Those are the basics of a Phantom Thief. If you're uninformed and curious to see how this plays out, look no further than towards the many Kaitou Kid-centered story arcs in "Meitantei Conan", or the children show "Mysterious Joker". Even the heist aspect of Marvel Studios' "Ant-Man" fit in perfectly in this method. - This show DID capture the extravagant and stylish flairs of Phantom Thieves in this opening sequence. It was undoubtedly a flashy scene. But the biggest issue here was they did NOT give off an advance notice to the Casino boss, who was, in fact, the first Gangler or MotW of the show. A missed opportunity, because they could have easily inserted that bit in a quick dialogue or two. Breaking and entering, proceeded by shooting randomly at things to retrieve their target was clearly NOT the style of a Phantom Thief. Nope, this was plain robbery or burglary at play. Huge difference, right there! LOL. Handing out a calling card afterward would be considered pretty much useless because it could no longer count as an 'Advance' notice (get it?). The later mission of the episode was better, as it required a good amount of sneaking and sleuthing. No sign of advance notice though, so what a shame *sigh*. Even if this show hasn't managed to get the thieving part correctly, it was pretty apparent that the source of inspiration for the Lupinrangers was the iconic series "Lupin the 3rd". At the very least, I'm instantly reminded of that series every time they got out in action, both in or out of suit. - Oh yeah, there's another missed potential regarding that opening sequence. In this case, it's a bit technical. Debuting the theme song of "Lupinranger VS Patranger" in the first episode sounds natural, right? Well, that should've been the case. Yet when it was played WITHOUT having the Patranger around... it bugged me big time. I personally think they should have either: used the Lupinranger-only version in that scene. Especially because the Patrangers didn't even have the ability to transform until the closing scene. Or...; rewrote the scene and have it showcase both teams at the same time, fully in costume. I know the Lupinranger is first-billed, but if I were this episode's writer, I would totally use the theme song during an actual kerfuffle between the two teams. For example, in that brief part before the episode wrapped? Heck, the episode could've started with that before going into flashback mode or some sort. It would have made a major difference if you ask me... - Characters!!! I know I should never judge a book by its cover, but seriously, Kairi Yano (LupinRed) is unappealing and squeaky. No wonder some folks were surprised that his actor Asahi Itou could be appointed as Red. Plus, it's clear he still needs to improve his acting skill, with all those constant unnerving glares. Touma Yoimachi (LupinBlue) is the usual cool type, who this time gets mixed up with the chef trope. Think of it like Kyuranger's Stinger and Spada in one body. For some reason, Shougo Hama reminded me of Kamen Rider Ibuki or Mamoru Chiba from the live action "Sailor Moon" series. I think Umika Hayami (LupinYellow) is the most likable member of the Lupinranger, albeit being the usual bumbling 'my pace' girl. It felt that graduated Morning Musume member Haruka Kudo's deep affection to tokusatsu really showed, as she looked the most comfortable in her shoes. Their names combine into 'Kai-To-u'. - Keiichirou Asaka (Patren 1-gou) is undoubtedly the better Red for me so far. I sensed that Kousei Yuuki was also more convincing as an actor than Asahi. Unfortunately, Keiichirou is also the loud brash stereotype (kind of reminds you of Go Yellow, huh?), so he and his mysterious endless rage and anger will either impress you or grate on your nerves. The same couldn't be said about the other Patranger members. Sakuya Hikawa (Patren 2-gou) and Tsukasa Myoujin (Patren 3-gou) are nothing more than... generic stereotypes in the premiere. For now at least. Which was disappointing, because Ryo Yokoyama and Kazusa Okuyama (who somehow reminded me of Red Racer and Go-On Silver) could only do so much with the limited materials they were given. These two are likely the lesser important characters (Super Sentai always have ones), which says a lot about the Patranger's position. None of these three managed to... grab my attention, because aside from a stubborn hot-blooded Keiichirou, the other two could be considered as bland. Just like the Lupinranger, their names combined into 'Kei-Sa-Tsu'. - Youichi Nukumizu's Kogure and Ike Nwala's Commisioner Hilltop are the show's MVP for me thus far. In Kogure's case, the air of mystery and elusiveness easily stole my attention and made me want to see more. I think he could work as a secret big boss vibe pulling the strings behind the scene, though it would likely end up as some kind of Alfred Pennyworth scenario instead. Likewise, Hilltop showed hints of eccentric personality due to his Japan Culture-obsessed hobby (mirroring "Sakura Taisen V"'s Sunnyside). I can't help but wonder if he's meant to be the Jim Gordon of the show? It also helped that he joined the limited list of foreign actors who played a crucial role in a tokusatsu show. I hope these two will have bigger and more important roles in the future... as suggested by that recent rumor. Sadly, I couldn't praise the same about Jim Carter (voiced by Rie Kugimiya), the Global Police's mascot robot. I disliked its design, and see no actual use of it. Not to mention that name. Why TOEI, just why? - Comparing these two teams have always been an ordeal since I saw their first images. Each one has their pros and cons that sort of balanced my impression on them. I liked the Patranger cast better, but those suit design totally threw me off the table. I dig the style of the Lupinranger suit, but feel mixed about its actors. It's clear however, that the Lupinranger was put center front in the premiere (as evident by the flashy top-hatted transformation sequence and cool silhouetted roll call), to the point that the Patranger was basically just... there. Thus it felt somewhat premature and unfair to compare them due to the state they are right now. Not surprisingly, the scene in the Bistrot Jurer was executed better than the one in the GSPO's Tactical Unit Operations Room. The latter just looked more... fake somehow *sigh*. - Speaking of suits, Patranger likely had inspirations from "KyuKyu Sentai GoGoFive", "Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger", with a hint of "Go Go Sentai Boukenger". Sadly, these are not as good as those three. The Lupinranger ones are clearly a "Mirai Sentai Timeranger" nod, complete with that giant hands of clock-shaped swords that reminded me of the Vector Swords. Still, they should've gone with a long coat tail like in the transformation sequence (Zyuoh Whale and Draco Commander style). That would've made for a more elegant look. - I'm not that fond of the design for the show's main antagonist (a mixture of dinosaur and... guns?). Not the grenade-inspired but watermelon-looking Destora Mazzio (voiced by Pokemon's Brock himself, Yuuji Ueda), and particularly the hideous Goshu Ru Medu (voiced by "K-ON!"'s Ayana Taketatsu). Perhaps it's the way that every Gangler needs to include a safety box on their body that made them look... I don't know, silly? On the bright side, it does have this interesting mafia family style that would provide great potentials assuming it's explored properly. Cues from "The Godfather" movies can be felt from their so-called leader Dogranio Yabun (voiced by Mitsuru Miyamoto), as well as an obvious nod to Don Dolnero of Timeranger. In the case of those Lupin Collection, I'm sure Super Sentai fans would easily be reminded of Boukenger's Precious. - Neat camera works for the action scenes. Some... inventive movements that involved plenty of 360 shots taken from kinetic angles. Unfortunately, they would work much better in a fast-paced viewing. When you slowed the sequence down, it's more than obvious that the transitions between the different cameras (the regular huge and docked one, and possibly a drone/hand-held for the moving parts) aren't exactly as smooth. The switching was more than apparent, because there's an easily noticeable fluctuation in video quality. Not to mention, it did feel confusing to see after repeated viewings. - Last but not least, the absence of an ending sequence could be a make or break situation for the show. Many audience particularly Japanese kids genuinely loved an ending song that they could dance along with. I know that this one felt more mature already without one, but is that really a good thing? We'll just have to wait and see...

01 - "Here Comes the Flashy Burglar / Off-Beat Arrested Development"

Overall: I admit, after seeing this episode again with English subtitle, it was better than my first initial watch. Unfortunately, many of its issues (that I have pointed out above) are hard to overlook and still render my overall judgment. This was meant to be a groundbreaking series that actually features two existing Super Sentai teams at once, yet in my opinion, it ended up feeling more or less like your standard Super Sentai show. It didn't feel that much 'different', despite being taunted/promoted as such. Same old, same old. Most of that is likely due to the fact that the Patranger didn't have equal footing in it when they really SHOULD. Everything this police unit does (always-late appearance, bland characters, unimpressive significance, etc) didn't account much, giving off a distracting vibe that they were merely a set of supporting characters in a Lupinranger show. Seriously, they didn't even have a proper transformation scene and roll call because of how heavily Lupinranger-focused this has been. I'm not fond of police-themed Sentai, to begin with, hence why I already liked it less than other Super Sentai fans. Not saying this debut episode was bad, but more like... not my cup of tea? Didn't win me over? I do get why many are loving it though. This was a breeze of fresh air, especially when compared to the recent WEAK (I'm being NICE here) seasons of "Power Rangers" adaptations. Still, in my opinion, it's a pretty standard premiere, heavy on expositions, and due to its minor flaws, wasn't really on par with previous Super Sentai premiere episodes. On the bright side, if the show's future development is consistent with a recent rumor flying around the internet, then they will be enough to keep me watching this show. Here's hoping...

02 - "Frozen Back-Story / Fudging-Sweaty Fusion"

Overall: If I have to choose one word to describe this episode, that would be easy: HECTIC. Yes, as fittingly represented by the official opening sequence that... in my honest opinion, could have used better editing. The action parts felt busy and rushed, to the point that when it slowed down for the dramatic parts, the episode became uneven. I have this feeling that the debut of the vaguely disturbing Patren Union (defying all kinds of real life logic) was meant to put or even push the Patranger into the spotlight. Heck, they finally got their own flas... er generic roll call now (it still looks bland compared to the thieves no matter how you put it... *sigh*). Unfortunately, it's the drama part that pretty much stole every attention and became the major highlight of this episode. And sadly, it was particularly shining a light towards the Lupinranger... all over again. Yes, Kairi, Touma, and Umika remained to be the first-billed characters, as the show decided to reveal their real motives/goal to collect the Lupin Collection. Which was emotional and VERY personal at best. Hence our supposedly good officers were still being relegated as second fiddle, showing that the show hasn't managed to divide the focus evenly between the two teams. But hey, the Patranger also helped debuted the sentient-chatterbox Good Striker/Goody (voiced by legendary Virgo Shaka himself, Yuuji Mitsuya), right? Only to jumpstart the arrival of Lupin Kaizer when the Collection Piece combined with the Lupinranger's Dial Fighters instead. And while the show's first mecha (which didn't look as good as its design, I can't tell why) dealt with the Gangler in a flashy way, Keichirou, Sakuya, and Tsukasa only stared blankly into the night sky. Oh Patranger, I feel truly sorry for you... Ignoring the fact that it's still an uneven affair, it's indeed a much better episode than the first. It's not perfect by all means, and probably could do with better editing, but that genuinely intriguing backstory honestly did much of the heavy lifting. It's probably the show's best episode so far, though I'm hoping it's not the extent that this show has to offer.

03 - "Fiance on Ice / A Sticky Reinforcement"

Overall: LOL, did anyone actually expect some secret identities to be exposed, just 3 episodes in? That's NOT how Super Sentai works, especially in a full-year extended version of a Versus movie like this. So in that sense, what a pointless cliffhanger that was at the end of episode 2, huh? This intro scene basically answered one lingering concern I had since episode 1. Remember how Keiichirou and Kairi had a civilian stand-off about that newspaper ball in the park early on? If Keiichirou has good photographic memory and critical analysis skill as a competent police officer, he would've instantly recognized Kairi in Jurer. Not just that, he should also recognize LupinRed's voice coming from his mouth. But noooope, that did NOT happen. Frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about this. I just hope this didn't simply mean that Kei, as well as Sakuya and Tsukasa, are being written off as a bit... slow. That would be a disaster! How could one root for them if they are so unreliable? We got more insight into Touma's character concerning his fiance Aya. Not much of a surprise, because the previous episode had openly shown the identities of the frozen closed ones *sigh*. His character now reminds me of Joe Gibken from "Kaizoku Sentai Go-kaiger", who so happens to be sharing a similar cool-blue stereotype. But I'm not sure why there's something off with Touma that I couldn't really put into words. A relentless darkness that is rubbing me the wrong way. Which is strange, because Joe is my favorite Go-kaiger. It felt like Sakuya was probably meant to be the 2nd focus here, or at least meant to have his share of the spotlight. But since the execution was still uneven, still favoring heavily on the Lupinranger side, inevitably the rookie member of the Global Police ended up being eclipsed by both Touma and also Kairi. On the bright side, him showing instant attraction to Umika at the end implied that he's destined to be the awkward but likable goofball of the series. Assuming this angle will be explored in the future, of course. I might be wrong in this, but it felt like the Patranger has gotten the short end of the stick... again. Three times in a row! I mean, when the whole episode established that the Lupinranger will now be using the Patranger as tools to do their bidding, that... kind of says A LOT, right? The thieves (true to their namesake) kept on stealing attention from the public servant (fittingly so), always acting one step ahead of them. And their version of Good Striker's Finishing Move wasn't even better (lamer IMO) than Union to begin with. Even Kogure singlehandedly stole the scenes with his elusive appearances and mysterious relationship with Goody! Marvel Studios carefully constructed a story that enabled "Captain America: Civil War" audience to be divided between the two conflicting teams, but there's none of that here. For the time being, the Patranger only feels more and more like an afterthought, a lesser team that probably shouldn't even get a mention in the title. I don't think that's fair... Oh well, at least their Pat Kaizer debut was great. I can't say why, but it honestly looked much better in action. That's a hugely pleasant surprise! Was it because Lupin Kaizer's battle relied too heavily on CG to showcase its fluid movement? Not really, because Pat Kaizer also had its fair share of CG. Because the battle took place in the daylight? Regardless, the combined Trigger Machines was sturdy and strong. And though I could do without that pink pole stick, this mecha looked impressive overall and just more fun to see in motion. Next Episode: A Closed Room Case...

Episode 1 Score: 7,2 out of 10 Episode 2 Score: 7,8 out of 10 Episode 3 Score: 7,4 out of 10

All images are screen captured from the series, provided by the FanSubber Over-Time. "Kaitou Sentai Lupinranger VS Keisatsu Sentai Patranger" is produced by TOEI, and airs every Sunday on TV-Asahi. Credits and copyrights belong to their respective owners.

[anothergirlrecovering]

Lynn 80

Lynn opened the door and invited me in. I walked in and said that it smelled good like her essential oils in there, and she she thanked me. She asked how im doing and I said good and asked how she was. She said she was also good and asked how my week has been. I said I don’t know its been good but at the same time I’ve been super anxious and she asked why. I said I don’t know but ive narrowed down my week into two things. I first started by saying how I was asked to be an iop therapist and how weird the interview was, and I think she just took it more so being a good pay opportunity. She said treatment centers have a lot of money and her friend is contracted to do one day a week and makes like 5 or 600 a day because she says she has athriving practice and by being at the center she is missing out on that pay. Lynn was like you need to make sure you are negotiating a good pay for this. I said okay and that I hadn’t really known what ot expect with that but that it seemed like a good opportunity to be able to say that ive worked in a treatment center and honestly I enjoy group therapy and would like to be able to do that once a week, just not a full time inpatient thing. She was like oh ok that’s good. I said the other thing was the mind fuck with my mom with how well she handled me coming to visit and lynn was basically like well it sounds like a good week and maybe your mom is changing because people change and I was like I mean maybe and she was like or youll get an earful of guilt when you go and then you can be like ok im tired im gonna go now and besides youre used to tht and its to be expected right? I was like yeah that’s true. She was like so overall it sounds like a really good week, idk why youre anxious and I was like idk I guess just feeling overwhelmed in general and my employee under me who sucks has been fucking up again and she was basically like well maybe its time to leave this job since this other job just fell into your lap and I was like idk because I wouldn’t have insurance or benefits and she was like oh that’s right but if its affecting you it might be worth it still and I was like idk everything is up in the air because what if we have a kid or something and she was ike yea. I said I just wished that I was better at manging my anxiety around conflict because I always panic and be overly nice and I said how my husband overheard me on the phone with him and how when I hung up he asked why I was so nice and said he would have ripped him a new one and handed his ass to him and how Juliana was like wait you said that o him? And said a better response that lets him know hes walking a fine line with being fired and I just wish I didn’t panic about it. Lynn basically said people who are conflict avoidant sometimes just cant be supervisors and I just sat there feeling like shit and was like ok. She was like idk but maybe you need to look at what your long term goals are and see when its going to be time to leave. I was like I mean the treatment center laid out options of eventually doing all three days and doing my private practice there with benefits but I don’t want o get ahead of myself. She was like oh ok. I said idk what my long term goals really are, just htat I always take on anything that makes me feel like it makes me look better because I hope it will make me feel better about myself. She was like oh ok and then awkwardly stared at me like she was waiting for me to add something to it. She was like so what do you want ot work on and I was like I guess what weve been working on.

She pointed to the tappers and was like well it looks like we were at a 1 and I was like with what and she was like ummm and flipped through her notes and apparently wasn’t sure what she was even talking about and was like well whats the sud when you think of the target belief and I was like I don’t matter unless im sick? And she was like or just I don’t matter and I was like idk I guess it’s a 6 or 7 because my heart starts to race and I feel anxious when I think about it. She was like ok well just go with that. I noticed that I was like well why don’t I matter, and then the rest of my emdr is a mix of it all because I cant remember everything and I went and got kava and talked to the lady for a while so im trying to remember it all now. I noticed that I nevre really bring up my issues with my dad but I know that we have them because we never talk and I feel livid when I do talk to him and idk why. She asked me to notice that and why and I was like I really don’t know but my parents always said I was just ahormonal teen and it was a me thing and idk if that’s true or something happened and I feel like theres something wrong with me because I still feel instantly so mad like if my dad picks up the house phone or my moms phone. She asked me to notice again why and I was like idk ive felt this way probably since I was like 12 and I was trying to thnk of what might have happened when I was 12 and I said I started my new school and hated it and she asked who made me go there and I said both my parents and she was like well maybe youre mad about that and I was like maybe and she said to go with that and I said well I know it made me mad that it felt like they never respected my boudnaries or space because I remember feeling so out of place at school and never remembered them asking about that but do remember them pushing me hardcore to call this group of girls at the school to hang out and I felt so anxious and they made me do it anyway but I knew I was an outsider and it dindt work out because they were busy. I said I felt like I never really had any control over when I did or said or who I was And I said I rememberd being forced to go to church when I dindt want to anymore and I would lie and say I was sick or my stomach hurt and try to do anything to get out of it but they didn’t let me.I said I wasn’t allowed to watch pg13 movies and went with whatever I was told like how I thought I preferred chocolate and how I thought I hated musical theate because they told me that but I actually dint hate it. I noticed how when  Lynn asked me if I could have compassion for that 12 yr old kid and I was like um idk and she was like think about it and I was like I mean when I think about my 12 yr old me faking jokes to get my friends fruit snacks because I was hungry yes, and I can appreciate that I was empathic like remembering my 7th grade teacher having had bulimia and feeling empathy for her, but I cant empathize with that kid who lived in the controlling house with my parents. I noticed that I cant empathize because I feel like they gave me everything an she was like um but, and I was like idk why it feels like that negates everything else and she was like I was about ot ask that and I was like because I remember him fighting with me and always being like I sacrificed everything for you and I gave up my dream and my friendships and my own hobbies so that I could be at your activities and I thought about how my two fellow coworkers who are moms will bitch about their kids sports schedules but at the nd of the day they always say how they do it because they love their kids and it makes them happy and I started to tear up and I said that it never felt like my dad really was there because he wanted to be there and he loved me, it felt more like it was keeping up appearances or because he felt like he should and I was some sort of obligation. I said how maybe I don’t usually feel as bothered by the dad issues because I do have some positive memories looking back with him, like where he took my brother and I to play stick ball or softball. Although now that I think about it, it makes more sense that the reason im not as bothered by my dad issues is because it evokes anger and I avoid anger at all costs. She asked me if I could have compassion for that kid and I was like honestly not really and she said basically that I can continue to feel guilty forever and I was like thanks lynn and she was like well its true or you could start having compassion for yourself. I was like I just wish that I dint feel like it was my fault and she was like well you start by having compassion for yourself, and I just kind of stared at her because it doesn’t really make sense to me and she was like just try it, just try. I said I would try.

She had me pay and scheduled for next time. She asked if id be in the city this weekend and I said yeah and asked what shows hse suggests I see. I was shocked because she totally blanked and was like see hello dolly and I was like um ok and she was like what else is on right now and I was like well if you cant remember, they must not have been that good and she was like no its not that lol. I was like ok and she was like well actually we just saw mean girls. She said her and her daughter didn’t love it but it was ok. She suggested Sweeney todd saying if I liked dark things it was a good one. She was like go see Hamilton and I said I was seeing it on tour for my birthday. I said that people keep suggesting once on this island but I don’t generally like islander type things, like I wasn’t a big fan of moana. She was like I loved moana I thought it was just so pretty. She said she did see once on this island and it was short and she thought it was ok but she loved the costumes and she said but shes a costume person. I was like and hey maybe on a brighter note, I felt sort of indifferent when my mom said she wanted to see a show with me and she was like well if shes paying for it take it and I was like shes making me pay her back lol but I don’t mind because its phantom, but last summer I had a total melt down over my mo not wanting to see dear evan Hansen with my on my birthday and this time around I guess I just dindt have any sort of care or expectation with it. She said it was definitely progress and I was like and I got tickets for deh again because I love it so much. She laughed and was like sounds like you have it all planned out and I was like well phantom Friday and she was like don’t forget I told you about rush tickets and I was like and ill rush Saturday come from away and see deh that night, but im trying to figure out what to do for Sunday. She was like ok well I still vote for hello dolly. Lol I was like ok, ill keep that in mind. I said goodbye and headed out.

[gascon-en-exil]

Ranking FE’s Lords

@paragonred asked for this, possibly as a follow-up to this ranking of the games themselves. I’ll use the same tier format so I don’t have to get so specific as to order everyone into a numbered list.

S Tier - interesting, narratively engaging, and (usually) fun to use

Micaiah - see this post.

Eliwood - ends up mediocre more than half the time, but he’s got a strong character arc with plenty of development and good moments even on Hector’s route. I very much like Eliwood/Hector as a traditional romantic friendship that could feasibly grow into something more between games depending on who they marry and what happens to their wives. Incidentally, I don’t have any very strong opinions on any of those ships, other than that Hector/Florina is rather nonsensical.

Celica - see this post

A Tier - fun unit and may have interesting character potential, but I’m less invested in exploring them

Ephraim - mostly up here because I like lances. His arc is similar to Hector’s with more urgency and the homoromanticism coming from different sources, but his contribution to that questionable legacy has largely been swallowed up by twincest. Or something like that anyway.

Hector - speaking of which, he’s a good unit apart from his promotion (both the class itself and the timing of it in his route) and as mentioned I ship him with Eliwood in a sense, but I don’t like the archetype he spawned. He also feels a bit superfluous to FE7′s main story, though not as much as Lyn does.

Lucina - will be incredibly broken unless you don’t pair Chrom or stick him with Sully. Severely under-served by her narrative despite being a uniquely tragic figure in an otherwise aggressively optimistic game, but she got a DLC campaign and a bunch of shilling outside the series proper so that sort of makes up for it?

Sigurd - the most OP lord ever. I like that he’s an idiot and that he faces real consequences for his mistakes, and I like how he looms large over Gen 2 in spite of his flaws. Even more so than with Hector, I don’t like how his fanbase sees his game performance and nothing else about him.

Alm - already a good unit in the original from what I understand, and he benefits considerably from the distinctive presentation elements of FE15. He certainly offers a more nuanced discussion of class than certain other lords. *ahem* It does suck a bit that it feels like some of his character beats have to compromise Celica’s to make them work, but that’s partially Gaiden’s fault too.

Leif - might move up if he’s relatably more of an impoverished aristocrat in the remakes, but then his particular circumstances don’t really speak to me the way that, say, Almedha’s do. I mostly hated using him in FE5 though he had his moments. Probably benefits from being surrounded by interesting people more than anyone else in this tier, but he really benefits there.

B Tier - either overwhelmingly average, or with both strong positive and strong negative aspects that balance each other out

Ike - yeah, you guys probably saw this one coming. On the one hand, he’s very likely gay; on the other, half the fandom still won’t shut up about the possibility that he might not be and/or that IS was wrong to do what they did with him. On the one hand, convention-defying peasant lord shaping his own destiny is interesting; on the other, he has terrible manners and a shameless insensitivity to foreign (beorc) cultures and yet we’re meant to be rooting for him. On the one hand, a strong unit who plays quite differently in his two games and so therefore doesn’t feel stale; on the other, he and his mercenaries edge out the light magic-wielding Micaiah and her army for screentime and EXP and it’s pretty obvious which unit type I prefer there. I can’t even get all that strongly into Ike/Soren for entirely personal reasons, but at least Ike/Ranulf is still there to pick up the slack.

Lyn - even though she’s the first lord with a same-sex paired ending that fact is largely forgotten. Much of her enduring popularity seems to be based on her sex appeal, and she’s irrelevant to Elibe as a whole. Still, her route is a nice little self-contained story that doesn’t feel too similar to anything else in FE, and she’s got a strong camaraderie with her fellow lords.

Corrin - it’s difficult to talk about Corrin as one entry since they develop differently depending on the route, but as with Fates as a whole I feel like the three iterations of the character average out somewhere just slightly below average. Birthright Corrin is a standard FE protagonist, except maybe a little angrier (Leif, Shadow Dragon Marth maybe?) and with entirely too many death scenes thrown at them. Conquest Corrin has the most missed potential, as with most things involving Conquest apart from gameplay, and one practically has to roll with the headcanon that they and the Nohr royals have been conditioned by years of abuse to make their characters sort of work. Revelation Corrin reminds me unpleasantly of Robin (see below) with the power of cross-cultural friendship stuff and the super special ending. I’m not too fond of the character as a unit either, since they take more work to get as flexibly broken as the other Avatars and their manakete form fails to impress except for tanking.

Seliph - saved from C Tier by the general messiness of Jugdral. His father’s legacy is a complicated one, and about 1/3rd of his campaign amounts to a blood feud with the aim of giving his first cousin a throne for somewhat dubious reasons. He takes some time to get as broken as SIgurd, but he’s all sorts of fun when he gets there. Couldn’t tell you if he’s got any interesting romantic prospects, endorsed by the pairing system or otherwise, because he’s still pretty dull in that department.

C Tier - bland, and usually bad as units

Marth - truly the Mario of FE, in that he’s everywhere with a different personality almost every time. His two remakes did surprisingly little to flesh him out in any consistent way, and by that point over half a dozen other protagonists had diverged from his archetypical lord model in almost as many different ways.

Roy - red-haired Marth with a harem and an obscenely late promotion instead of no promotion at all *yawns* I guess he gets points for having a living parent? Not sure why anyone is a particular fan of him unless they mained him in Melee. Maybe a remake will help him out?

Chrom - Marth with biceps and a time-traveling daughter who coincidentally cosplays as Marth. That’s marginally less yawn-worthy if only because of how strange it all is, and he also borrows from the Hector-type lord as well so he ends up as an unexpected fusion of the buff and the bishonen. Overshadowed in story and in gameplay by his daughter and some random amnesiac he found in a field who he may or may not decide to sleep with.

Eirika - only slightly a Marth clone, but as with Celica the story is unevenly stacked against her and in favor of her male counterpart, even on her own route. The fandom doesn’t like her because she’s naïve, but that could also be said of several other lords. Not really into her as a unit or any of her ships, so...yeah.

Kris - ...do they even count as a lord? Eh, whatever.

D Tier - OP unit, terrible character

Robin - would have been so much more tolerable if endgame didn’t abruptly swerve to becoming entirely about them, at the expense of Chrom and Lucina and everyone else. Somehow the special secret origin type of Avatar grates more than one whose importance to everyone and everything in the story is laid out right at the beginning. I can more or less buy everyone in Fates obsessing over Corrin because of who they are and what they represent for the various players, but not so much Robin whom everyone rallies around apparently for the sole reason that they’re a really friendly tactical genius. Compound that with the fact that they’re meant to be a self-insert in a game with enormous levels of explicit homoerotic denial and it should be easy to see why they’re at the bottom of this list.