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sipsteainanxiety · 3 years

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*context is trying to write a fanfic*

Me: *gets an awesome idea from scrolling on MHA TikTok that is featuring our resident blonde hot head*

Also me: *HOW IN THE HELL DO YOU WRITE FOR THIS ANGRY POMERANIAN?!*

I have two fantastic fanfics that I wanna write, but how tf do you write for him??

Maybe I gotta channel my inner Deku lol

tl;dr (bc this got much longer than i expected): bkg is an easy character to write for once you build your own interpretation of him, practice, consider how he would act in certain situations, & ask others for help if you get stuck!

LMAO yeah bkg is a piece of work to deal with. i still grapple with his character sometimes, just in terms of like.. okay, what would he say in response to x? how would he act?! i think "mastering" characterization comes with practice. or at least for me, i feel i definitely got better at writing him the more i did it

before i even started writing for him, all i did was read fics for him. idk how some people are just able to dive right into writing for a character without at least reading SOME fics for said character, they're on a different level frl. i just read and read and then read some analyses of his character. i also looked at authors who i blv wrote him perfectly and took inspo from that. of course, everyone characterizes him differently, has different interpretations of what he would or would not do in specific situations. but when writing fic i think it's important to just build your own interpretation.

bkg is a very complex character that changed a lot in the manga. so depending on what age he is when you write your fic makes a HUUGE impact on how his personality will be. high school bkg is rude and loud as hell. he comes off as aggressive, shouts a lot at his friends, and finds a lot of things to be below him. if his friends want to go to an amusement park, he will most likely not go (even if he wants to) unless they trick him into it or goad him by saying some shit like "he just cant stomach roller coasters lmao!" he is very short tempered, but we all know that already lol

but yet, we also know he studies a lot. he cares about his grades. he cares about how others see him, which is why the comment that he could be a villain hits him so hard. he's organized and he's still an all might fan no matter how hard he tries to push him away. he doesnt do well with any kind of affection at all, which, i think, has to do with the harsh way he was brought up. poor baby doesn't know how to express himself properly. my point is, there are things to him other than how loud and aggressive and rude he is that shows his personality: how neat he is. how meticulous he is when he cooks. how he wants to be the best at everything and will thus put all his effort in.

he does have his soft moments - moments where he's quiet and contemplative and aware of how his friends feel. he is very perceptive after all!! but these moments in hs - particularly early hs - are rare and we only see more of that bkg as he grows up. you could say that he's always had a soft side to him ofc, but it shows up more once he slowly realizes that he is not the best, and the people around him are not looking down on him and that he can rely on them for help.

adult bakugou, pro hero bakugou, tends to be much quieter, more thoughtful, in my opinion. of course, he's still aggressive. still shouts a lot. still gets irritated. still has high expectations for himself. still curses like nobody's business. still wants to do a majority of things by himself. but, if you asked him to go to an amusement park with you, he would simply huff and agree instead of saying no like he's got better things to do. adult bkg has likely overcome many of the obstacles he's faced as a kid and would no longer be a hero just to show he's the strongest. he would do it to save people no matter how much harm comes to his body - something he would've picked up from deku lol

i like to think he gets better with affection, platonic or not, and learns to accept it more as he grows. he's still a hardass, don't get me wrong. he probably still doesn't know how to deal with certain emotions (cough romance cough) properly. but he's trying, and that's what's important

on the surface level, you could probably write him as yelling, cursing, screaming, being stubborn as hell and that's it. but there's more to him than that and this is shown through specific actions of his or specific pieces of dialogue. for instance, that scene in season two where he fights uraraka and goes all out only to say "what part of her was weak?" after all the spectators were saying she was a girl & weaker than him etc etc. like this SHOWS he's more complex than just someone who yells and seems to not think abt his actions.

i could talk more about how i think he would be as an adult bc there's more to him, obviously. but basically i think my interpretation tends to lean to the softer side of how he is haha, while still making him competitive and rude as hell.

idk how this turned into my analysis of his character but anyways KJHSDFKD when writing him, you hv to consider certain factors and apply them to how you think bkg would react. for instance, if the reader is someone he's meeting for the first time he will probably be pretty short with them until he sees them as someone he respects. or someone he can trust. of course, depending on how they meet exactly, i can see him either 1) being rude to their face or 2) being a bit quieter. and then you gotta consider his first impression of the reader, like - does he see them as someone badass? someone gentle that can't be dealt with in his usual rough way? there are just a lot of factors lol and i can't cover everything.

there's also things like... how long has he known the reader for? because with people he's known for a while he knows he can behave in his usual rough way and they'll know it's all just a front he puts up. and depending on how close emotionally he is to this person will determine how much of that squishy interior of his he would reveal to them.

looking back on everything i've said here, there's just no solid way for me to explain to you how to write bakugou's character, i think. there are too many variables LOL. just getting a grasp of how he is, forming your own interpretation, and writing what comes to mind is a good place to start. you could ask others to help you with making sure his character is in check too! writing fanfic doesn't have to be a one man show, you know! getting help is also very sexy and cool B)

#dame-umbra #idk if this will help u at all but #hopefully it puts him more in perspective for you?#i def recommend reading more character analyses of him #bc i did not do him much justice i think LOL #keep in mind this is just how i see him lol #if u wanna drop like something you're considering for your fic #like in terms of bkg's situation/age/how he meets the reader #(im assuming youre writing an x reader)#i could try to help in a more specific way?#idk #sipping tea with shay

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extravaguk · 4 years

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santa&prada

part of my opposites attract! series.

ksj / knj / myg / jhs / kth / jjk

pairing: rich!jimin x reader

summary: Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.

wordcount: 5k

genre: smut - angst(? - fluff (? idk u tell me

rated: m

warnings: a christmas fic in late november, cursing, a huge misunderstanding lmao, i call jimin ‘park jimin’ too many times bc i felt like it, car sex, oral (f recieving), some good ole spanking, (kinda) rough and unprotected sex, a lil of dirty talk, spit kink. thats about it. just an excuse to write jimin fucking you in a car. jimin is not as bad as oc thinks srsly.

The first time you meet Park Jimin is through mutual friends. On a firday night on December, with white, red and green lights decorating the streets of New York, filled with the typical hustle of the masses doing last minute Christmas shopping, the freezing weather impacting your body temperature, cursing yourself for choosing tights, a skirt and heeled boots that are too pretty but too uncomfortable to wear.

You had never considered yourself a particular enthusiast of Christmas festivities. You guess discovering Santa Claus was, actually, your parents before the rest of the kids in your class was one of the many reasons that made you grow up too soon and therefore, not allowing you to fully enjoy the month of December. Or maybe it had nothing to do with Santa, and more to do with your parents deciding to get a divorce a day before Christmas Eve. A traumatic event for seven year old you, but completely forgotten and overcome by twenty-four year old present you.

Growing up each Christmas suffering the consecuences of a shared custody would have probably had a disastrous effect on anybody else, but not you. Although the separation was a tough reality to accept at first, fortunately your parents were always capable of raising you in an environment full of love and affection, just like any other kid. And you prided yourself on having moved on from those circumstances a long time ago (even if your therapist disagreed and blamed many of your behaviors on it. Whatever.)

To put it simply, December was just not the month for you. It was just another month, like the remaining eleven of the year, except Mariah Carey's voice was heard every five minutes everywhere you'd go and people gave each other presents as if it was only during that time of the year when they remembered their loved ones.

The only thing you could thank Christmas for were the well deserved two weeks of holidays our work allowed until the new year's arrival. Fifteen days of rest, peace and baking those gingerbread cookies that Seokjin died for and that you sincerely denoted as nauseating.

You truly had no idea what exactly you did wrong that night. You don't know if it was something you said, or something you did, but what you did know was that Park Jimin pursued a silent and personal vendetta against you that continued nowadays.

"Here are your disgusting cookies, you filthy animal." it might have been that very first sentence you said when you entered the bar and reunited with your friends that didn't cause a good impression. "Shit, it's cold as fuck. My nipples are harder than my life." or maybe it was your selection of words while you waved every familiar face hello until you stopped to look at the only (pretty. too pretty, as well) one you had never seen before.

"_____, it's Chrismtas! Santa Clause will only bring you a lump of coal if you keep cursing like that!" Lisa laughed while she kissed your cheek and made space for you to sit next to her. "Oh, by the way, this is Jimin. A friend of Namjoon. He's a newbie!"

Park Jimin was stunning, you had no trouble admitting that. You weren't blind, you weren't stupid, and you could go as far as theorize that his dark eyes, his light and always immaculate styled hair, his sharp jawline and those plump lips as red as cherries must have been sculpted by Satan himself.

Fuck, you were even sure you'd be on your knees in front of Park Jimin in an alternative universe begging for his dick inside your mouth. But in the universe where you and the real Park Jimin reside, he would never come near you unless somebody was aiming a gun into his skull.

You're not precisely sure what it was, but a brief exchange of glances and an evasive and sligh shake of hands with Park Jimin was enough to make you feel ashamed and withdrawn for the rest of the night.

If Jimin wasn't even able to drop a polite "Nice to meet you", he sure as hell wasn't able to pretend you even existed.

Even the small talk you had tried to engaged with him about his shiny pair of shoes went terribly wrong.

"Oh, are those Dolce and Gabbana?"

"Dolce and Gabbana are homphobic, racist and sexist, so no" the grimace on his face should've been enough to make you regret speaking to him in the first place , but the snarky voice of his made you want to run away and hide from him until next Christmas.

In reality, you swore you didn't care. Seriously. Other's opinions were never something that could easily bother you or keep you awake at night. You had always turned a deaf ear to the cruel children that made fun of you due to your parent's divorce, you had always ignored the amount of men that never considered you "ladylike" enough (what the fuck did that even mean, anyway? what exactly made a lady and what didn't?), and you had always disregarded any envous comment surrounding you.

So, fuck Park Jimin! You had said to yourself. He's just a well mannered rich boy. Somebody who didn't resemble you in any aspect. A stupid, pretentious, spoiled boy who's had everything he's ever wanted in the palm of his hand, unlike you. Who the fuck cares what Park Jimin thinks?

But apparently, you did.

You would have never placed such importance to whatever it was that roamed inside Jimin's head if his appearances in your group of friends hadn't been so recurrent.

Because each time you were forced to see Jimin's face, you were also forced to experience a strange knot of discomfort and humilliation growing in your stomach in his mere presence. It's not like Jimin did anything specific to make you feel that way. He might not even do it on purpose, or his intentions might not be entirely evil. Maybe he simply didn't realize how he always avoided being by your side like the plague, or how his body immediately tensed and he balled his hands into fists everytime you were less than two feet away from him, or how he would look at you from the corner of his eye everytime you decided you speak, almost as if he was waiting for you to shut up to finally let out the air he was containing inside his lungs in relief.

Yeah, Park Jimin most likely didn't even realize he was being a rude and disrespectful son of a bitch.

And with time, you couldn't help but attribute that disdain and hostility that Park Jimin always directed at you to the many undeniable differences that constituted each of you. Park Jimin, with his impeccable and always well ironed Prada shirts, his spotless trousers, jewelry that probably costed more than three of your annual salaries, and always emanating that Givenchy fragance that screamed "wealth!" every rare occasion you could experiment his presence next to you. Exactly two years after that first meeting with Park Jimin, you hadn't been able to avoid reciprocating that feeling of contempt towards him. Not when you were the only victim of his arrogance. Everybody loved Park Jimin, and Park Jimin loved everyone.

Except you.

Clinging to your glass of Don Pérignon and finishing the rest of the liquid in one go, you try to snap out of your own thoughts, reminding yourself to return to the conversation you're currently having with Taehyung about a pretty waitress that he's met during one of his art exhibitions (or at least that's what you think you caught him say) and forcing yourself by all means to stop observing the friendly and kind smiles that Park Jimin was shooting to those present from across the room and that you will never be able to achieve.

"_____? Are you even listening to me, darling?" Taehyung's voice is what makes you finally look away from the dumb blond standing on the opposite side of the room, blinking a few times before clearing your throat.

"Sorry, Tae." letting out a sigh, you try to brush back and put in place the strand of hair that escaped the intricate hairdo you had tried and so miserably failed to do yourself to try to fit in and hopefully impress such environment of preppy and privilaged people (ahem, Park Jimin) falling on your forehead as best as you can. "Just been really stressed this week and I'm on another planet. You know how I feel about Christmas. I think I need a new flute of . Or five."

Taehyung sends you a look full of empathy and places one of his hands in your shoulder, squeezing lightly in a comforting way. "I'll get you another one. I'll be right back." You quickly interrupt him though, to prevent him from standing up before you.

"No, really. I'll go. I need some fresh air anyways, if you don't mind." And of course Taehyung doesn't mind, so you get on your feet as graceously as your tipsy state allowed you to (who told you it was a good idea to drink three glasses in less than thirty minutes of the extremely expensive champagne Taehyung had brought to the Christmas party he had organized and why did it convince you it would appease your anxiey?) and make your way towards the table where the rest of the bottles are. A table dangerously close to the conversation Jimin and that friend of Lisa (whose name you don't remember) were having.

Both are with their backs turned and, honestly, you take a silent moment to thank God or whatever is up there because the last thing you need right now is yet another awkward interaction with Jimin, so you try as best as you can to refill your glass of champagne to get out of there as soon as possible, praying to make your exit going unnoticed.

But no. Because the stars and the universe loved to align to make you suffer! They love to play with your karma and they love making you damn that one day you didn't help that lady cross the street. They love making you regret buying those plastic straws. They love making you feel guilty for hacking your neighbour's Wifi when you run out of money to pay for yours. Because the moment you try to take a hold of the bottle in your hands, it slips out of your grasp, and you're watching in slow motion how the sparkling berverage ends up spilling all over the extremely expensive (or so you assume. Balenciaga maybe) suit pants Park Jimin decided to wear that night.

Everything is kind of blurry and you can't even hear anything. You can only watch as Park Jimin turns around, lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, until his eyes find you, the bane of his existance and immediately recognizing the culprit of his now drenched piece of clothing. And you can watch as, once again, his gaze turns almost black and narrow lightly as to reprimend you for what you've caused. But of course he doesn't say a word. He has nothing to say. He doesn't even look surprised. No. Because obviously, Park Jimin knew that if there was somebody in this room willing to ruin his night, it would be you, and only you.

"Shit!" you're the first one to break the strained silence, but that only makes Jimin flinch. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm so fucking dumb! J-Jimin, I'm so sorry, let me just go grab a paper tow-"

"Don't." his voice cuts through you. Literally cuts through you. Because it's not often that Park Jimin decides to aim his words at you, but everytime he does it holds the same frigid tone. Like knives trying to painfully stab your being. "Just, don't."

In reality, you don't know a lot of things and you don't know what causes what happens next. You don't know if it's the specific time of the year, you don't know if it's your internal stress, or if it's Park Jimin, his voice, or the fact that he will never like you. But it's instant. They way something compresses your chest, and suddenly your eyes are not glaced by the alcohol but by something wet that threatens to flow. You would never admit to anyone they're tears.

So, shutting your mouth and swallowing the uncomfortable feeling of anguish in your throat, leaving your flute forgotten on the table and grabbing the bottle instead. Without saying a word, your feet start moving up the stairs of the ridiculously enourmous house Taehyung owns towards the first free and empty balcony you can find. Free of people and free of Park Jimin.

Closing the large window behind you, you allow yourself to close your eyes and take a deep breath; the icy temperature outside immediately welcoming you. Although the hairs on your arm stand up and you know you're probably going to catch a cold (because the dress you've chosen for the dinner is not at all appropiate for such winter climate), at least the tension in your body seems to disappear while oxygen keeps that ugly feeling in your heart at bay from continuing to choke you.

With shaky hands, you take a big gulp straight from the champagne bottle. Fuck Park Jimin. No man will ever have the power to make you feel what you're feeling right now. Fuck Park Jimin. And fuck his beautiful face and his ability to make you tremble and fear looking like an idiot. Fuck his fancy clothes and his perfect manicured hands and his marvelous but frigthening presence.

Knock knock.

The sound makes you jump back from the window, hand grasping your chest while you turn around, coming face to face with the man in question. Your first instinct is to ignore him. But that thought is already out of the way when it's him the one who struggles with the window lock before opening and taking a step towards you. You step back as he steps in, raising your head up high and puffing your chest. Because your second instinct is to tell Park Jimin to go fuck himself.

"_____, I would like to-"

"You would like to what?" Jimin looks taken aback at your harshness. Alcohol has always been a weapon of mass destruction in your system, provoking words to flow too easily and without filter out of your mouth, more than they already do when you're sober. Especially when it's mixed with the frustration you've been harboring inside of you for two years. That's why when the words start to come out, they won't stop. "To make me feel like shit one more time? To look at me with that fucking conceited face trying to make me feel like you're better than me? Or would you like to ignore me once again as you always do everytime we're in the same fucking room to make sure I know you hate my mere existance, even if it's just the two of us right now?"

The steam leaving your lips due to the accelerated beat of your heart blurs his face for an instant while he looks at you dumbfounded. The silence and his expression makes you scoff, an acidic smile adorning your face while you take another sip of your drink because even with such a stupid face, he still looks delectable with his white shirt and ruined pants. You turn around, removing a tear that you hadn't even realized had fallen during your speech and that, frankly, you were hoping he hadn't either. You would blame it on the cold, anyway.

This time, a gust of wind running through you from head to toe, making you forget of Park Jimin's presence looming behind you, reminding you it's still December and the fabric of your dress is doing nothing to conceal you from the cold.

But before you can do anything about it and blame yourself for being dumb and not taking your coat with you before deciding to step into balcony, Park Jimin surprises you once again, this time by placing his navy blue blazer over the naked skin of your arms.

Your back straightens when you feel his warm breath caressing the back of your neck, at the same time that a voice you have never heard Park Jimin use with you echoes in your ears.

"I really don't hate you, _____. I..." Jimin wets his lips. His body trembles, but it's not due to lacking his own coat, while his brain hurriedly searches for words eloquent and adequate enough to explain voice his thoughts. "I like you very much, _____."

Scoffing again while you shake your head, you push down with all your inner strenght the incipent fluttering of butterflies in your stomach that Jimin has managed to cause in just a matter of seconds. It's probably the longest sentence you've heard from him in two years, and you don't exactly understand why your body is reacting the way it is. But you're also not willing to give Park Jimin the satisfaction of knowing that. He doesn't deserve it anyway. So with all the courage you can muster, you turn around with your hands clenching.

And even though being at such short distance from Jimin is a bit overwhelming and unexpected for you, the irritation still making your blood bubble is enough to not let a man as handsome as him derail you from your current circumstances.

"Well, fuck you Park Jimin. You certainly have a funny fucking way to sh-" his hands cradling your jaw that pull you closer to him and his lips that silent you roughly, but with surprising care. Only for a moment. A moment in which your body betrays you and make you melt into hir warmth. But his voice, low and sinfully husky, murmurs against your lips.

"God, that mouth of yours..." he goes back to attacking your own lips, this time more firm than before, snatching a sigh from you. The sound has his tongue asking for permission into your mouth, and with your body betraying you once again, you part your lips to allow him in. It's him who whimpers this time, while one of his hand moving until it reaches the bottle in your hand and letting it drop carelessly onto the floor, ignoring the sound of glass shattering and the future scolding you'll get from Taehyung. Instead, he sneaks that same hand on your waist, pulling your body flush against his, fingers digging onto your skin. "It's been driving me crazy for two years. Two years, _____."

He mumbles between kisses and swipes his tongue against yours, while he stars walking the both of you until your back meets the nearest concrete wall.

"Two years of having to hear the incessant filthy words that leave your mouth..." his own stop their movements and you catch yourself before begging him to reattaching his lips to yours, enjoying instead the path of wet kisses and bruises his lips traile from your chin to the pulse of your neck "...and trying my best to hide the painful boners I get whenever you're nearby."

With your eyes shut, your hands are back in motion, ignoring the voice in your head reminding you he's still an asshole and finding their way between Jimin's soft golden strands of hair. He hums in appreciation, sending goosebumps all over your body. "So, s-so why not do anything about it sooner?" you say, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe properly.

You feel Jimin's body tensing before you and he ceases the movement of his lips against your neck. Breaking away, your heart stops, afraid you might have ruined the moment. But Jimin's in search of your eyes, eyebrows very lighlty raised, the intensity of his gaze pinning you in place. You don't know for how long you stare at each other until Jimin comes out of the trance, eyes descending over your flushed cheeks, the very same color as your lips and the soft flesh of your neck until they reach your cleavage, the glimmering fabric encasing your breasts, taunting him the same way they had been doing all night long.

"You scare me so much..." and then, one of his hands repeats the same journey his eyes just did, until he touches your shoulder, right under his own blazer. "Everytime I look at you, all I can think of why the hell a girl as real as you like you would even glance my way." he slides the strap of your dress slowly tentatively, just enough for you to stop his advances if you chose so. You don't. "You're smart in ways I could never compare, so funny it makes me jealous, and so pretty it leaves me speechless. You're...You're everything I'm not."

His voice resonates in the atmosphere, and you would love to blame it on the cold again for how your body has reacted, but your body heat has increased so much since he started kissing you that it would be stupid not to admit that it's just the effect that Park Jimin has on you tonight. You're sure he would've had the same effect if it had happened before.

Your now uncovered breast doesn't even has to suffer the consequences of the icy wind, because one of Jimin's arms quickly comes around you to hold your body against his, lifting you ever so slighty until your erect nipple is at the same level as his mouth and his lips are enveloping it in their warmth. You gasp his name, and that encourages his teeth to tug softly before his tongue stars moving in circes.

"My God, you're so perfect." Your head spins while you hold onto his shoulders as tight as you can, the undeniable heat roaming all over your form, hips involuntarily rutting his incipent erection poking your abdomen. "Been thinking about this since that night we first met." Looking for relief, Jimin mirrors your movements without ceasing the administrations on your chest, as one of his hands lifts one of your thighs to wrap around his waist, closing the short gap remaining between the both of you.

"Ohmygod! F-fuck, Jimin," trying to form coherent phrases is almost impossible, not with Jimin finding a slow and tortuous rythm with his hips, his clothed cock rubbing against your core. Something shifts in the air, because Jimin stops abusing your nipple with a loud pop, and shuts you up by pressing his mouth onto yours in an urgent, dirty and desperate kiss. You could almost hear him swearing, while his hand keeps your jaw in place.

"S-stop talking like that, ______." his voice, inaudible, and his face now hiding in the crook of your neck, the thrusting of his hips speeding up, more and more frantic this time. The hand not holding your thigh against his hipbone reveals your other breast, hand covering it and giving it a light squeeze before tugging at your unattended nipple between his forefinger and his thumb while his tongue and teeth mark the skin on your neck.

"Hell, I've been dying to stuff your mouth with my cock to prevent you from such foul language," the soft whimpers leacving your mouth coax him into taking the hem of your dress and bunching the fabric until his fingers easily find the place in your body calling to him the most through the lace. It's immediate, how his fingers dampen at the first touch, surprising the both of you, and how your body jolts and an embarrassing sob escapes your throat. "How-how are you this wet? Holy hell, I could just slide right in..."

And as he says that, one of his fingers pull aside the fabric of your underwear and glide into you, so easy. You insides burning while he fingers you, another finger being added with his thumb rubbing circles on your nub. And fuck, you're not sure if you're just too horny and Park Jimin is a magician with his hands, or maybe it's the way he keeps mouthing at your chest and whispering how soaked you are, but you don't think you've ever been so close to cumming in such a short period of time.

"W-whats stopping you?" you manage with a voice that doesn't even resembles yours, but before your hands can even make work of the zipper of his trousers, he pulls his finger out from your center, causing you to whine in protest.

Jimin licks his lips, eyebrows framing the dark expression that his eyes ooze. Although the desire in his eyes is more than evident, it is also evident the faint hesitation in them. Because Park Jimin doesn't do things this way. Park Jimin was raised in a world of correct manners and conservationism. A world that has taught him when and how to act. And as badly as he is dying to fuck you against the wall of Taehyung's ridiculously inmense house, he also wants to do the right thing.

"Let me take you on a date."

Park Jimin has been spoiled his whole life. Being born in a well-off family has always provided him of everything he had ever wanted and more. From the innecessary number of toys Santa Claus left under his Christmas tree every year since he was a baby, to his fisrt extravagant sports car at the age of eighteen. Park Jimin has never been a greedy or needy man. How could he, when he's had everything he's ever wished in the palm of his hands. He has never missed anything in his entire life. Hasn't missed a roof over his head, warm food on his plate or brand new designers clothes each week.

It has taken him two years to control himself. He still remembers that night he first met you, just like he remembers every single time you both had coincided in the same place at the same time. He remembered your scent, had memorized your figure over your pieces of clothing and had tried as best as he could to keep a distance from you because he knew you would never give him the time of day. How could you? You probably despised everything he was because he was definitely nothing like you, and that thought intimidated the fuck out of him. He was a mess everytime you wear nearby. Never relied on his voice because he knew he would stutter if you ever spoke to him, could never trust his eyes because if he ever looked at you he was afraid he wouldn't be able to look away.

And everytime you spoke, shit, that voice of yours always cursing here and there left him wondering how would you sound in a different setting and if you would still be that badmouthed. More specifically, between his sheets. So he did everything he could to minimize your interactions as much as possible. He just never thought he would come across as such a jerk. It was never his intention to hurt you, and seeing you cry that night (although you denied you did, over and over again) seriously made him realize he wanted to make things right.

He was trying really, really hard to keep it in his pants, to be the same well composed and controled Park Jimin he had mastered himself to be.

But that damn dress.

After seeing that little black dress hugging your figure when you started taking off your coat at the restaurant, the brief flash of thigh tights that you accidentaly (or not so accidentally) had blessed him with by crossing a leg over the other, that exposed collarbone calling his name and those heeled sandals with straps wrapping around your ankles, reminding him of the snake tempting Eve, Park Jimin was sure he needed to dig into that apple more than anything he has ever needed before.

That's why he surprises you right after you both finish the second course meal by telling the waitress you won't be having desert, at which you look at him somewhat indignant. But the look he shoots you is enough to make you understand if somebody was going to have desert tonight, it would be him. In his Mercedes.

"I'm gonna-" you gasp, fingers tugging at the soft strands of his now ruined blond hair, his head between your thighs and your legs thrown over his shoulders. His hands have a grip of the meaty flesh of your ass, holding you firmly againt his mouth as it works wonders on your clit. You're sure it hasn't even been ten minutes since Jimin had opened your legs in the backseat of his car, not even bothering to take your underwear off, simply moving the fabric aside before diving in, and you already feel yourself on the edge of an orgasm.

"I know." voice vibrating right into your core, he slows down his administrations, tongue carefully and delicately lapping at your folds while he enjoys the feeling of your fingers loosening their grip and fondly brushing his hair back. You meet his eyes as he pushes a finger inside your core and your whole body twists in agony.

"N-no!"

Jimin stops immediately, lifting his head and focusing his concerned eyes on you. He's about to ask you if he's done anything wrong, but you're fast to roughly pull him up by his hair until his face is leveled with yours. You answer him by kissing him and he returns the kiss with the same eagerness, and now it's your hands that are looking for his cock, palming him through his pants.

"Your dick. Inside. Right Now." you punctuate each phrase with a kiss and he only stops kissing you to pout.

"But I wanted you to cum on my tongue." but still, he's putty in your hands when you undo the botton and the zipper. "Wouldn't you rather me fucking you in my bed, where we're more comfortable?" you notice the slight quivering of his voice when you slide his trousers and boxers down, just enough to pull him out.

"You can eat me and fuck me as many times as you want tonight, tomorrow and whenever you'd like, but right now..." none of you contain the moan in unision that leaves each of your mouths when just the head of his lenght comes in contact with your entrance. "I really can't wait anymore." brushing your lips over his, you lower your voice. "Wanna get on my hands and knees for you."

Park Jimin has tried to do things the right and appropiate way throughout all his life. He's been a professional from a very young age on how to be in charge of his emotions, his desires and his impulses. Always well mannered and well composed.

But it's in this moment that Jimin comes to the realization that the only thing that has ever made him lose his mind and self control, is you. Seeing you like this, ass up, grinding your drenched and still thong clad cunt all over his precum dripping lenght, he can't control the way his hand bunches the fabrick of that damn dress over your waist, then flies to your right cheek, a sharp sound of skin filling the air, tearing a gasp from your throat.

"God, I'm-I'm sorry. Couldn't help mys-"

"Do it again."

And he does, the palm of his hand now leaving a reddenning print on your flesh, making you jolt back involuntarily, aligning yourself to the head of his cock and like he had hoped, he slides right in. Not all the way, because Jimin is sure he would cream inside you too soon and he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did. He wets his lips, clenching his jaw and dropping his palm one more time, hand more steady and purposeful.

"You like it rough?" voice hoarse and a hand beside your head holding himself, your back to his chest, twitching beneath him as he soothes the sting with his free one.

"I like you rough." turning your head slowly to peer at him from the corner of your eye, your hips moving on their own accord trying to take him deeper. Your head is suddenly pulled back harshly, Jimin's fingers tangling in your hair as his own hips close the remaining gap between your bodys in an abrupt thurst. You squeal, Jimin's cock finally filling you up to the hilt just like you wanted him to be, the pleasure making your arms wobble and finding it harder to mantain your balance.

Jimin's breath fawns over your ear, his tongue darting out to suck on your skin sending chills down your spine. "You're such a dream." he groans, torturously sliding out of your core that's gripping around his shaft for dear life. A whine of protest escapes your lips and he tightens the hold on your hair in response, diving right back in. You fall forward, your arms' strenght betraying you as his thrusts find a new rhythm. With your eyes closed shut, you try to muffle the sound of your voice with the back of your hand as Jimin's lips place soft kisses to your exposed shoulder.

"Don't be quiet." he stands straight, the pull on your hair arching your back in such a enticing way it was Jimin look away for a second, cock buried inside of you and his hips faltering. "Been dying to have you like this for so long."

Another clap of his hand against your right cheek, and a particular stroke of his dick that has you mewling as your climax approached again. "S-so good, Jimin. Oh my god."

"You're gonna cum for me?" his fingertips leave bruises on your skin and the windows of his Mercedes are foggy, just like your mind. You can't concentrate on anything that's not Jimin's cock sliding in and out and how much you wished this had happened way sooner. "Gonna cum for me like a good slut?"

Park Jimin always takes his time. Always does things nice and slow to assure the best outcome possible.

But he can't contain the acceleration of his hips against yours as your walls clench impossibly tight around his cock, your orgasm finally taking over . Can't contain himself from falling forward again, hand twisting your head in his direction and his mouth searching for yours in a fiery and messy kiss. And he most definitely can't barely contain himself from cumming when your you ask him to spit in your mouth.

"You're gonna kill me." he breathes, removing himself off you and quickly maneuvering you on your back, his dick finding its way back inside you. Picking up right where he left off, skin slapping against skin in an obscene melody, he collects a considerate amount of saliva in his mouth before dropping it into your welcoming tongue, watching you swallow with a smile he hopes he'll be the only one to see in the future.

And that's what has the last bit of his self restraint slipping from his fingers. He somehow manages to rip the top of your dress down, fabric tearing until your tits are free and his mouth is attacking your nipples, white strings of his release panting your walls, some of it them oozing out that he fucks back right into you.

It's between ragged breaths, kisses and tender carresses that Jimin promises you more dates in the future and new dresses that he can't promise not to savage apart again.

#jimin #park jimin #jimin smut #park jimin smut #bts smut #bts #pjm #pjm smut #bad bunny is retiring like who the fuck does he think he is to decide when he gets to retire???#nah bb WE decide when you retire

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angel-bazethiel · 4 years

Text

What, How, Why is Flame Alchemy?

--or how Roy Mustang can potentially bottle up a star. --or I’m sleep-deprived and writing this fic that relies on a deeper understanding of how Flame Alchemy works and I’m posting what I thought of bc why the hell not? and if I read another post saying it’s plain ole combustion and how easy it is, I will probably lose my mind --or goddammit, where is Flame Alchemy?????

Content:

I. Introduction II. Mass-Energy Equivalence and Nuclear Energy III. Flame Alchemy? More like Nuclear Alchemy (and Other Myth Debunking) IV. Why would someone study such a research topic? V. Summary

Note: Long post and a lot of Science ahead.

I. Introduction

First we establish that whatever we know of Flame Alchemy is utterly bogus. Solely because of the fact that if Roy and Riza really wanted for the knowledge of it to die, no one will ever know of it. No one. So that explanation by Havoc about aligning oxygen molecules and then snapping to ignite them is not true. I mean, “reactive cloth?” What is that even made of? For a show that was extensively researched, that seems a bit lazy.

Also, this explanation makes Flame Alchemy sound so easy. So why isn’t everyone doing it? For a military-run country, one would think that something easy and can be weaponized would be mass-produced, right?

Another fact, fire feeds on oxygen, yes. But fire is a combustion reaction of oxygen and a C-H compound. Something I hope that the air in a 1900s FMA-Earth isn’t abundant of.

Although, I haven’t thought about what if the fuel Roy uses is H2 compounds instead of Hydrocarbons. That would be funny. Roy deconstructs H2O molecules only to create them again. But if you still want to see whether or not I’m crazy, by all means, do read on. I will still use Flame Alchemy = Nuclear Fusion for my fic. So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now, it got me thinking how does Flame Alchemy actually work? And my highly convoluted train of thought started while I was writing this fic where I based Riza’s mother on Marie Curie. (Which I may expand on but now is not the time.)

I thought then, so how about Berthold? Is he Pierre? Naw, man. Who else has had his research mishandled during a war? Who else was a brilliant thinker but is also such a shitty dude to the women in his life? Yeah you guessed it. And what is one of his greatest works?

II. Mass-Energy Equivalence and Nuclear Energy

Albert Einstein’s Mass-Energy Equivalence is such a simple and very elegant equation saying that mass is interchangeable with energy. This postulate led to this branch of physics (or chemistry, whatever) called Nuclear Physics/Chemistry. Bear with me.

Did you know that when you add up the masses of an atom’s nucleons (the collective protons and neutrons) the actual mass is not equal to the calculated? Where did that mass go? As it turns out, that mass defect takes in the form of energy that holds the nucleons together. And when we substitute that missing mass on Eq. 1, we have a specific number for that binding energy.

So what do we mean by nuclear energy?

Nuclear energy is the binding energy released when a nucleon is taken out of its nucleus. And that can happen by either of two reactions: nuclear fission or nuclear fusion.

Now I didn’t think much about nuclear fission because that’s shit’s nasty. And I’m sure that Roy doesn’t have Uranium just lying about. So let’s talk about nuclear fusion. Specifically, the fusion of Hydrogen atoms:

When you fuse two Hydrogen-1 atoms it has three products: deuterium, a positron, and energy. Fuse that deuterium with another Hydrogen-1, we get Helium-3 and energy in the form of gamma radiation. Fuse two Helium-3 atoms, we get helium-4 and hydrogen and more energy. Then start the process again if you want more more energy.

So what has that got to do with Flame Alchemy?

III. Flame Alchemy? More like Nuclear Alchemy (and Other Myth Debunking)

I firmly believe that the “Flame Alchemy” we see in FMA is just the H-H fusion reaction (Eq. 2).

And like an idiot, I only did my research after I thought of all that shit and found this interpretation of Riza’s tattoo.

I don’t know how how much of the tattoo is canon, I tried looking for it in the manga and the anime is too small to see. But I see it everywhere so-- it must be canon?

But in that post, in the upper left part of Riza’s tattoo, we see the fusion reaction of deuterium. And of deuterium and tritium. To which I say, why? Those Hydrogen isotopes are rare. I mean, fine, a D-T fusion reaction gives 40 times the net energy from an H-H fusion reaction.

And, sure, Roy can create deuterium and tritium himself, but it’s just not efficient. I don’t know how alchemy works but I do know that to do that (by which I mean an H-H fusion, then a D-D fusion, then a D-T fusion) would require more energy than just stopping at the H-H fusion.

So I stand by my statement that the “Flame Alchemy” we see in FMA is just the first part of the H-H reaction (Eq. 2).

a. So how does it work as seen in the manga?

Roy would line up the atoms to where he wants the reaction to happen. And here’s the kicker, he can use other light atoms just no heavier than Iron-56.

But I think he uses Hydrogen-1 because that shit is everywhere. Again, not the heavier isotopes. So we’re sticking to that.

How do we know that that’s what’s happening and not Roy doing whatever the hell Havoc said? Because we see this:

I don’t know about you, but I think the sparks we see when someone is doing a transmutation aren’t just there because it’s cool.

Atoms require energy in order to stay bonded as a molecule. So when alchemists transmute, they break the bonds and release that energy. In this case, the energy released is in the form of light. (I also have some thoughts about why we see red and blue sparks but, again, now is not the time.)

If Roy is just controlling the O2 molecules in the air, we shouldn’t see any sparks because there is no deconstructing happening.

Hydrogen-1 is usually present as part of the many water molecules in the air. So, I think, what we see is Roy deconstructing the H2O molecules and pulling the Hydrogen-1 atoms to where he wants them to be. The Oxygen-16 atoms bond with each other and form O2 molecules but we don’t care about them.

Unless Roy fuses Oxygen-16 instead of Hydrogen-1. In that case, we will see an even bigger release of energy. OH! Maybe that’s why he uses his left hand for smaller and more controlled explosions and the other for bigger ones. Because the gloves are different! One is for H-H fusion and the other is for O-O fusion.

Anyways. Hydrogen-1 atoms, by themselves are positively charged. So to fuse two together we have to overcome the repelling force by those same-charged atoms. To do that, they must meet either at high velocity or at high pressure. In the manga, they do the former.

Remember the sound whenever Roy does his thing? That isn’t actually caused by his snapping. After all he is wearing gloves. The sound when you snap is made by the pad of your middle finger striking your palm. If your hand is clothed, you won’t produce any sound when you snap.

No. That sound is the sonic boom of Hydrogen atoms going faster than the speed of sound. Also, I don’t think his gloves is made up of some special material. He just snaps to cover up the sound. Everything is just nuclear fusion.

b. How about those “flames” that we see, then?

That is how we perceive the energy released by the reaction. When the energy is transferred into the surroundings, it gives off heat. Not only that, but the other atoms in the air get excited (this is a technical term btw) and glow. For all intents and purposes, I guess they are flames? Just not caused by a combustion reaction.

c. But if that’s how the Flame Alchemy works, then what is up with the useless when wet schtick?

That is a misconception. Sort of.

Roy’s alchemy will still be useless in the rain because there is just too much macromolecules in the air. He can’t align the atoms properly and the Hydrogen atoms may collide with the water molecules. That would decrease speed which he maybe can take account of. But the time to calculate then recalculate for each atoms can be too long. So he just lets Riza take care of the imminent threat when it’s raining.

As for when it isn’t raining, but he’s wet… I think he can still do his Alchemy, he just doesn’t. Because in doing so, it would deconstruct all the lies Roy and Riza have built around “Flame Alchemy.” Like that fight with Lust with Havoc. He manipulated Hydrogen atoms and I think he could have just fused them. Instead he let Havoc throw his lighter. Good thing Hydrogen is flammable. And this:

This is just Roy Mustang being the drama queen that he is.

d. Why would Roy and Riza lie about the Alchemy?

They feed false information surrounding Nuclear Alchemy because there can never be another Nuclear Alchemist. They created a version of the Alchemy and make up some magic cloth that supposedly becomes useless when wet. All of that so that no one can learn the actual secret. Maybe even discourage other alchemists, seeing as “it has such a huge weakness.”

IV. But why would someone want to study such a research topic?

Now, I don’t claim to know how Berthold Hawkeye’s brain works. But have you ever looked up to the sun and think, “Woah. That big ball gives life on this piece of rock? How does that even work?” I hope you haven’t because you will hurt your eyes. Please use protective eye-gear if you’re going to look directly to the sun.

All joking aside. It all comes down to energy. The sources of energy we have today have their pros and cons. Our main source, which is burning fossil fuels, is very much harming the environment.

So we look up. The sun has millions of Hydrogen atoms that undergo nuclear fusion. And the energy from that keeps all of us 7 billion little shits alive. What if we bottle up a star?

If we could ever recreate even the smallest fraction of that reaction, we can power hundreds of cities. And with Helium to spare, which we can use to blow out the balloons for our party in celebration of the fact we can finally stop killing our planet.

If nuclear fusion is so clean, then why aren’t we using it?

Because we still don’t know how to contain and control it. Today, there are two designs of fusion reactors and there are research facilities that conduct experiments. But so far they are still developing the technology.

And get this, this is a very hard and expensive thing to do. Whatever Berthold did, it’s genius. Way ahead of his time. He’s still an ass of a father though.

To add salt to the wound, like with what happened to Flame Alchemy in FMA, governments have used this research to create weapons instead. Because why try to contain that energy and use it for technological advancement when we can let it loose on a city, right? Hah. We are such dumbfucks.

V. Summary

So in conclusion, human beings suck. Kidding! Well, not really. But yeah. So. Flame Alchemy is a nuclear fusion reaction of Hydrogen-1 atoms. And it’s very hard to control and contain that even in 2020 Primary-Earth, we haven’t figured that shit out.

It could have been used for the people if the Amestrian government actually cared about the people. And after the trauma Roy and Riza experienced in Ishval, we may only see Nuclear Alchemy in the distant future when humans are kinder – not just to the world they live in – but to other humans they are living with as well.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

#fma #flame alchemy #fma meta #riza hawkeye #roy mustang #berthold hawkeye #science behind fma #fullmetal alchemist #fma reference #fma ref #I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO REPOST THIS BECAUSE IT HAS PICTURES BUT HERE WE ARE.#ugghhh it still won't show up on the tumbr-wide tags so iguess it was all for nothing skskskkss

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beggingwolf · 3 years

Note

omg I would love for you to break down that scene from TKK where sid goes into heat unexpectedly and geno rescues him from the Czech alphas!! (yes I have read and reread it a million times bc it is absolutely delicious.) (also this is jes @ticklefighthockey - can’t send from my hockey sideblog!)

hi jes!! thank you so much for asking!! I love that scene too

this is, uh, a behemoth. be warned:

He’s being led on a tour of the rink, after the Russians have embarrassingly lost to Finland and before the Canadians are set to battle with the Czechs, when Zhenya stumbles upon him.

I enjoy, in retrospect, how Zhenya and Sid’s emotional states are so different coming into this interaction. Even going back further than this specific day, Zhenya-in-Helsinki is bored and understimulated and out of his area of expertise and his alphaness is chafing at him. Meanwhile, Sid is overstimulated and anxious and fearful and in denial about/trying to hide his omeganess. Their designations are really on display here: Zhenya is brashly an alpha, Sid is shamefully an omega, and I Just Think That’s Delicious.

It’s a flash, something deep and slumbering in his brain that alights like gas touched by a flame. One moment he’s listening to a very calm scout for the Superleague talk to him about Ovechkin and the potential a future Team Russia has, and the next there are yells echoing off the hallway’s walls and a figure racing towards them. A hook nestles into Zhenya’s intestines and his long leg moves, jerked along with the rest of him as he trips the running blur.

The omega falls; Zhenya reaches for them, and before Zhenya can stop himself, his big hand grabs the omega by the back of their neck. The omega seizes up, and Zhenya can’t breathe as his grip tightens and then shakes.

This is the, like, one part of the fic where Zhenya’s alphaness overwhelms him in the same way Sid’s omeganess overwhelms him. Sid is repeatedly at the mercy of his biology in the fic, and though he works to overcome it (and eventually settle into it), Zhenya doesn’t share that struggle—except for in this moment. I like how it equalizes them for a fraction of a second. Immediately after, the power imbalance flares to life and they’re on unequal ground, but for this moment, they’re both at the mercy of their bodies. It’s a huge aspect of what I enjoy about a/b/o.

Sid likes Helsinki.

I love this jump cut, personally. I think it’s cheeky of me and fun and, after hooking the reader with Zhenya’s side of things, allows me to do what I enjoy most: babble on about juniors!Sid. Let’s fast forward to where the narrative catches up with Zhenya’s POV:

Sid is last out of the showers after practice. He doesn’t normally linger, but he had spent so long staring at how Carter’s traps and deltoids flexed as he washed his hair that he stalled and told everyone he’d catch up.

Sid’s discomfort with his designation almost takes precedence over his relationship with his sexuality in TKK. They’re inextricably intertwined, but Sid really spends more time thinking about being an omega than he does fantasizing about alphas—perhaps largely in part due to his first ~meaningful~ physical interaction with alphas ends up being a near-assault followed by a formative, if unhealthy, scruffing at the hands of Zhenya. I hope I put in enough to show that Sid is eyeing the alphas around him with intent and that it’s disrupting his routines. Builds the tension. Primes us for what’s about to happen.

“Get out of there soon, Crosby, the Czechs are going to need the locker room in ten!” Durocher had called out to him, and Sid had made a sound of acknowledgement.

He’s not proud to jerk off in the empty communal showers. Once he’s come, he desperately tries to forget the fantasy of being shoved up against the cold tile, the slickness between his thighs being put to good use. His cheeks are flaming red and he’s mortified at himself as he washes the evidence off of his hands. In a rush he towels himself off and gets dressed in his team sweats, grabbing his bag of gear and jogging for the doors.

Yeah I’d be mortified too, Sid.

He opens the door and runs face-first into a chest.

He chokes on his own spit as he smells it, the sharp, overwhelming scent of alphas, plural, and looks up at the huge Czech defensemen that he’s spent two afternoons watching tape on.

The big one he ran into looks at Sid with vibrant blue eyes, and Sid stills as he watches the guy’s nostrils flare with a big intake of breath.

Sid forgot the cologne.

“Crosby,” the alpha says, his accent strangely shaping Sid’s name. Sid heard plenty of Czech at the U18 tourney, when Canada had gone down against the Czech team and the players and their fans had drunkenly gathered outside of the Canadian locker room to howl shit at them until the Canadians muscled their way out.

He’s never heard anything like the way this enormous alpha drawls his name, and his eyes go wide.

The alpha next to the blue-eyed one, a beefy blond guy that has a huge nose, takes a step towards Sid and says something. Sid can’t understand the words, but the message behind them is clearer than fresh ice in the winter, and all Sid can think is that he’s never been in this much danger.

Some disgusting, traitorous part of him whispers in his ear that maybe he’d like it if he stayed and listened to what they had to say.

Sid runs.

Sid’s sexual immaturity is really on display here. I don’t say anything about what the alphas smell like, and though Sid catalogues what the alphas look like (this was mostly so I could make them distinct in their actions), none of it is appreciative.

He’s a prey animal realizing he’s in danger, and regardless of his fantasies and recent jerk-off session, he has almost no desire to “be an omega” in this moment… except for the part of himself he hates, the part of himself he isn’t at ease with yet. EVEN THEN, he’s not interested in, like, being thrown to the ground and Taken in the biblical sense, but he’s interested in “if he stayed and listened to what they had to say.”

It’s that teasing at wanting something, that teenage impulse to want to explore what you’re feeling but not willing to go all the way because you’re afraid and unsure and still young! But his prey instinct wins out (smartly).

He hates himself for it; he’s a fighter, and he doesn’t run from boys who are bigger than him, but he knows as deeply and intrinsically as he knows his own name that the instant one of the Czech alphas gets their hands around his neck, he’s done for.

That first line could be interpreted 2 ways before you get past the semi-colon: does he hate himself for running because he wants the Czechs? No; it’s because he wants to fight. Sid’s incorrectly performing being an omega here in multiple senses: he’s running from alphas and wanting to avoid his heat, and he’s also wanting to fight them.

He drops low, bending his legs so he can ram his shoulder into the blue-eyed one’s stomach, shoving him back just enough so Sid can elbow past the blond alpha and push through. He feels the blond reach for him, and a shout builds in his throat as the boy’s big hand grazes Sid’s wrist, nearly gripping him before Sid can twist out of the way.

He takes a step before the strap across his body gets yanked back, and Sid chokes as it digs into his Adam’s apple. The Czechs are gripping onto his hockey bag, and Sid only hesitates long enough for a hand to snake up and reach for his damp hair before he grits his teeth and slips out from under the strap of his bag and leaves it behind him, running in his untied sneakers down the hall.

The mention of his Adam’s apple draws attention to Sid’s age, I feel. It shows he’s physically mature but BARELY, because pointing it out draws attention to it in a conspicuous way. Then Sid being willing to ditch his hockey gear as he sprints—well, it shows (for once) he has his priorities straight. He tried to keep his omeganess hidden for the sake of hockey. Now he has to abandon hockey to keep himself safe.

The Czechs yell, their voices loud and reverberating off of the walls in a way that feels like it can physically pummel Sid. He still has the scent of them in his nose, and he can feel his untrustworthy body responding. He runs blindly, as fast as he can.

HERE we get some sense that the alphas are having a physical impact on Sid. And yet it’s not eroticized at all. It’s made violent and scary and he’s stripped of his own senses.

He rounds a corner and sprints, not remembering which way is which in the Helsinki rink. Sid barrels towards two figures in the hall, and his overwhelmed senses can tell that one of them is an alpha, the tall one, the dark one, and he sucks in one last desperate breath to hold so he can sprint past, so he can just get away from the heady scent and go somewhere safe.

Tall and dark, eh, Sidney? Our first hint of romantic descriptors.

The tall alpha moves faster than lightning, faster than a goalie adjusting to block a shot, and Sid feels an ankle connect with his shin and he panics.

Sid makes it about hockey. Ok bud sure you do you. (But like for real this represents a connection back to something Sid knows, something that is safe[...ish] for Sid, something that he loves).

He tripped him. The alpha tripped him, and maybe he’s in on it, and maybe Sid’s mom was right to be paranoid for all these years, and Sid’s hands come up to brace for the impact of the carpet when a hand as big as the span of his entire neck comes down on the back of it.

Everything stops.

Anxious stream-of-consciousness interrupted by an abrupt two-word sentence? Slap me silly with cliches, eh? But, hey, if it works...

The hand is enormous, the long, powerful fingers digging into the sides of Sid’s throat, and Sid’s jaw opens in something he hopes is a scream but by the way heat curls in his gut, he knows it’s something much, much worse.

Okay so HEREEEE we get yanked closer, again, to the erotic. The focus on hands (#TheFemaleGaze) as something salacious, enormous and long and powerful [hm. Freud is calling]... and even though Sid is terrified and refusing to put a specific name to what other emotion he’s feeling, his body betrays him yet again and we then fully slip into The Erotic with a heat—a heat—curling in his gut.

The hand yanks him up, pulling him away from the floor, and Sid fights against the instinct to go limp with everything he has; his trained muscles seize up instead, and Sid has never been so grateful to be an athlete. He balls his fists, sliding his foot on the ground to try and right himself, and then his world ends when the alpha scruffs him.

Sid resorts to athleticism (his only other use for his body before Being An Omega fucked it up, according to him) in order to fight back. And then the line “and then his world ends” hits. Melodramatic, sure, but he’s 16.

And moreover, objectively, the world Sid knew before this interaction is indeed over for him. Zhenya later thinks in the fic that alphas and omegas feel fated, like something out of a fairytale, and that line of fate—that this was inevitable, that once Sid and Zhenya met, Sid would be lost to “normalcy,” does ring true by the time the fic ends.

The alpha gives Sid a firm shake, just from the hand gripping his neck. Sid feels it down to his bones, reverberating through him harder than any check or hit he’s ever taken. Sid feels like he did when he was in 7th grade and one of his buddies tripped him while playing street hockey. This feels like when Sid’s head hit the blacktop; he’s not sure where all his limbs are anymore, and when he collapses, the alpha catches him.

This whole first chapter is just a major tease in regards to maturity, puberty, sexual awakenings, etc.

Sid acknowledged his physical response to alphas a few paragraphs ago, but now we’re back to Sid: The Child, to his middle-school self who is hurt and injured and vulnerable. By scruffing him, Zhenya ironically reverts him back to his child self; had Zhenya not scruffed him, who knows what Sid might have done or said to an alpha he was attracted to while he slips into heat?

By scruffing Sid—by making him no longer a viable partner [according to Zhenya’s instincts/hindbrain]—Zhenya actually keeps Sid safe here without even realizing it.

Sid lets out a sigh that sounds pleased, and he wants to heave instead.

And oop, we’re back! Tug and pull, back and forth. Will-they-won’t-they. Fun tension. The confusion of sexuality. Now that Sid is safe (even if he doesn’t know it), he can slip back into that pleasure state, even as he’s repulsed by it.

The alpha says something. His voice is deep and rich. Sid’s head lolls back so he can catch a glimpse.

He was right about the alpha being tall. His eyes go up and up to see the guy’s face. He’s older than Sid, but maybe he’s a player here. He could be 19, Sid hazily reasons to himself. His wide mouth is open in a concerned, surprised expression, and Sid’s eyes catch on how pink his lips are. He wonders how those lips would feel on his skin, but then his gaze is tugged upwards as the alpha’s eyebrows furrow over deep-set, dark eyes.

He’s handsome, and Sid is in his arms, utterly limp.

This part makes me smile even now while reading it :) Sid’s hazily like “Uhhh he could be my age right? Yeah it can definitely be acceptable to want this guy. Totally. Also he can totally play hockey. A dreamboat… Just For Me. Look at those lips. Also I’m totally helpless right now and for the FIRST time instead of terrified I am the human embodiment of the 👀 emoji.”

The alpha asks something of Sid, and Sid just stares up at him, dazed. He doesn’t know the language; it isn’t Czech. Maybe… Russian?

The hand still around his neck flexes, and Sid’s lips part. The alpha’s dark gaze drops to them, and Sid’s frightened by the emotion that blooms in his chest, a pride that’s twined with the adrenaline of his run. He can taste the alpha’s scent on his tongue, and it’s woodsy and deep and it makes Sid think of sex. He can feel his tongue poke at his lower lip, and the fingers around his neck tighten.

Then the noises from down the hall get louder, and Sid can’t move to look, but the alpha’s head jerks up. Sid watches as the alpha’s lips curl back and he snarls loudly at the Czechs.

Sid can smell them, the way their scents slide from hunter to hunted. There are rude, ineffective words spat at Sid before they retreat. He doesn’t understand a whiff of it, though, and all he can do is watch the alpha clinging to him. The alpha bares his teeth at the Czechs even as they scamper away. Sid can see the alpha’s teeth aren’t fully straight, but they’re sharp and a swooping sensation bottoms out in Sid’s gut.

It’s nothing like Parise’s hit, nothing like Tambellini’s command to leave the ball alone. Sid stares up at his alpha and he knows that if this guy took him to the ground, Sid would roll over without a second thought.

Fear rages through him again, even as his body hangs still from the scruffing.

Now we’re just really in the sauce, eh? We’ve fully entered into The Erotic and though Sid has that taste of fear in his chest, it’s not fear of alphas. It’s not fear of Zhenya.

It’s fear of himself. He isn’t scared at all of what Zhenya could do to him; he’s scared of what he wants (or what his body wants? He isn’t sure where that distinction is, because he’s been trying to divorce himself from his omega body since it started Making Problems).

Spicy! Delicious! I do, in fact, love it! His body is acting without his control (his tongue) but Sid is naming what he’s thinking of: sex. He hates himself over it. I am thoroughly enjoying myself!

The alpha looks back down at Sid, his lips coming together to cover his sharp teeth. He says something softly, glancing over Sid with obvious concern in his eyes. His grip loosens and his hand slides up into Sid’s wet hair to cradle his head instead.

“Crosby,” Sid can hear the other man, the beta next to his alpha— the alpha say in surprise, and Sid’s chest tightens.

“Crosby?” the alpha murmurs, squinting at Sid. He asks something else, and Sid still can’t get his throat to work, the scruffing clinging onto his voice box like a crushing fist.

The beta says something and the alpha grimaces, but he gently starts lowering Sid to the floor. Sid gasps in a breath, because no, not in the middle of a hallway, but the alpha just lays Sid down, bracing a careful hand on Sid’s shoulder, still cupping the back of his skull as he crouches down next to him.

“Crosby? Omega?” He hears the beta say in a thick Russian accent, and Sid’s eyes swivel to look at him.

“Help,” Sid finally begs, feeling weak and shameful.

Here we actually lose some of the erotic tension because

1. Zhenya looks at Sid with concern, not lust

2. His grip loosens on Sid, and

3. Zhenya puts Sid down not to have his way with him, but to make sure he’s okay.

The power dynamic is starting to shift; it isn’t so much about a/b/o as it is age right here. Zhenya is taking care of this kid, as he notes in the next section, and since Sid’s hangups over his immaturity will haunt him in the fic, his perspective sort of neuters Zhenya here because he thinks their ages will be a barrier to Sid getting Zhenya.

Also, another line I love: “no, not in the middle of a hallway,” because it’s SUCH a major slip on Sid’s part. His problem isn’t that he thinks Zhenya is about to go to town on him; it’s that they’re in a hallway and he has standards. (Or, rather, reasonable concerns over privacy, safety, and general comfort).

“Who is Crosby?” Zhenya asks as he stares down at the omega he’s cradling.

He’s about to be a very big thorn in your side for the next forever, Zhenya.

The omega is so young. He looks half-baked, especially with his head held at such an angle, making his chin disappear into his neck. His face is still round, and he has curly hair that hangs boyishly into his eyes. Those huge eyes are stunned and Zhenya can see the panic in them.

We’re still in that de-sexed space; readers can think “Hmm okay so maybe Sid was right, that Zhenya doesn’t really want-”

Zhenya closes his mouth and tries to take in less of the omega’s scent. It’s hot and jabs at Zhenya’s brain like a spice; Zhenya can smell the slick on him and swallows down the saliva flooding his mouth.

“Oh.”

Yep. Still wants ‘im. Has a moral compass to stop himself about it. Barely.

Also, Zhenya eats a fair amount of food in this fic—shitty food, like his McDonalds meal and bad American coffee, and good food, like the ribs and coco lardo in Moscow and the pelmeni and soup with his mother. Sid’s scent is like a spice to him—this appeals to his emotional senses, not just his physical ones.

“This is Crosby,” the Superleague scout says, dumbfounded. “He plays for Canada, he’s an omega—”

“No shit,” Zhenya grunts, and he can’t stop his thumb from stroking across the kid’s shoulder where Zhenya is pinning him down, the thin Team Canada shirt shifting under his touch. “Crosby, who’s here with you?”

Oops, crack in the facade there, Zhenya. Watch your hands. Still, it’s not made clear if this is a gesture meant to be comforting (to Sid) or selfish (for Zhenya). Ambiguity!

The omega, Crosby, gapes up at Zhenya, and Zhenya curses himself for scruffing him.

He hadn’t meant to; he’s only scruffed an omega once, and it was in a very different context, where a buxom omega named Svetlana had wanted Zhenya to lay her out and make her limp with it in bed. Crosby certainly hadn’t asked, but Zhenya had felt the panic in Crosby like a guillotine rising over his head and had needed to stop it.

More cracks. Relating it to sex with Svetlana and then pulling himself back by a VERY sharp image of a guillotine. Feeling like you need to cut something off, there, Zhenya?

His hindbrain had made the decision for him.

Zhenya thinks about alphaness in terms of his hindbrain—a hidden prey drive he’s got in his head, an old evolutionary instinct. Part of him, but... not all of him.

It’s very distinct from Sid, who refuses to even consider his omeganess as something other than, like, a personal failure and/or a physical impediment that’s fucking with him. When his omeganess comes for him, it takes him over.

Zhenya THINKS about his alphaness as divorced from himself to justify his actions; Sid ACTUALLY divorces his omeganess from himself as a survival instinct (until it stops working, and then until he figures out it’s more advantageous to work with it).

Crosby’s pulse still rabbits away. Zhenya swears he can feel it through Crosby’s scalp, and he says softly, “It’s okay, Crosby, I’m here to help you. I’ll help you.”

Rabbit :) Prey animal. Zhenya touching him carefully, not like a wolf chewing on its prey, but like a human soothing a scared animal.

He hears the Superleague scout say something in ugly English, and Zhenya frowns, wishing he had spent any time at all working on English like Viktor had asked him to. He only knows scraps he’d picked up from the ridiculous Americans the Magnitogorskaya bratva worked with.

“He’s almost in heat,” he snaps at the scout. “Ask him about suppressants, does he have any?”

“His team should, they…” the scout starts, and he moves like he’s going to leave in search of the Canadians, but he hesitates.

Zhenya watches the scout’s eyes rove over Zhenya’s long, powerful frame bent over the crumpled omega beneath him.

“He’s a child,” Zhenya bites out, even as his body tells him he’s an omega. “I won’t do anything. Get help. Now.”

:) Spicy!

He puts real force behind the words, and even though Crosby doesn’t appear to know Russian, he shakes under Zhenya’s hold.

“Shh,” Zhenya murmurs, looking down at him. Those big amber eyes focus on Zhenya’s, and Zhenya’s hand on Crosby’s shoulder slides up to cup the side of his face.

“It’s okay,” Zhenya tells him, and he knows at least that in English. “Okay.”

Zhenya immediately comforting Sid even though he’s addressing the scout! We have not seen much of Zhenya being caring before this point; is this who Zhenya is? Is this what alphas do for omegas?

Truthfully it doesn’t matter because there’s no discord between Zhenya and his designation. He’s comfortable as an alpha. He is what he is, and no matter where it comes from, he comforts Sid in this moment.

Fuck the blonde women of Finland; Zhenya doesn’t want anything except the chubby-faced Canadian teenager he has laid out on the floor of a hockey rink, and since he can’t do anything about that, he needs to keep Crosby calm.

“You’re going into heat,” Zhenya tells him, knowing Crosby can’t understand. “You’ve done this before, yes? You’re old enough to know. It’ll be okay, we’ll get you suppressants, you’ll make it through. It’ll be just fine.”

Zhenya: “I will rationalize this. Yes. I can do that. Sure. Great. I cannot let myself YEARN. But I’m definitely going to give him command-sounding reassurances that definitely aren’t any alpha impulses leaking out of me.”

Zhenya’s eyebrows shoot up when Crosby moves a hand; it’s weak, but he manages to lift his arm enough to grip onto where Zhenya’s holding his face. It had taken Svetlana the better part of ten minutes to lift a finger, and he can see that Crosby, while young, is strong.

And, by the heat in his eyes, angry.

Zhenya grins at him, and he can feel Crosby’s pulse jump under his hands.

“Don’t be angry, kitten,” Zhenya croons at him, unable to help himself. “I kept you safe, didn’t I? I’ll get you back to wherever you belong, yes?”

Zhenya, you flirt. Also he’s like “Cool I’ll call him Crosby I’ll be professional and—oh wait he’s pissed off and cute about it haha hi Kitten :) hi :) I’ll take care of youuu :)”

Crosby recognizes the tone in his voice, if the way his eyes tighten is any indication. He opens his mouth to make a discontented sound that sends Zhenya into laughter.

“Come,” Zhenya tells him between giggles. “You’re fine, let’s go find your team.”

When he scoops Crosby up off of the ground and into his arms, Crosby makes a sound so undignified it makes Zhenya lean against the wall to catch his breath.

Honestly I’m not happy with the emotional tone here and had I not been writing 50k words in a fugue state and needing to publish them by fest time I think I would’ve changed this. But alas! Its imperfections make it unique… or whatever. Hopefully someone likes it.

Crosby is heavier than Zhenya expected; he’s dense, and Zhenya can glimpse how much of that density is dedicated to his ass. While Zhenya doesn’t lift weights with Metallurg anymore, he brawls enough to have very functional muscles. He can handle Crosby. He would like to handle him very, very much.

Yeah you do, Zhenya.

#careful everyone this is Very Long #anyways! i enjoy this scene too and this was fun!#ask game #😁#tkk notes

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dawniebb · 4 years

Text

Thoughts about Renegades

ALRIGHT FOLKS, TAKE A SEAT BC I’M ABOUT TO KICK MYSELF OUT OF THIS FANDOM :’)

Not really

But I’m going to rant for a while so perhaps you can go grab a snack or something :’)

So…I LOVE Renegades and I always will but I’ve been thinking about some of the things that seem…off to me. Not that they’re a big deal ofc (because I love Renegades in a really dumb and blind way) but some of them are quite unpopular opinions among the fandom, so I’m finally going to share them in case someone out there feels the same way X’DDDDD

They’re not in any particular order. Here we go:

- I completely stan the idea of Nova and Oscar and Nova and Callum being brotp material, but I stan Nova and Callum way more, not because I don’t like Nova and Oscar, but because I think it was genuinely good (and healthy) for Nova to have a friend out of Adrian’s circle. I mean, she’s been isolated most of her life now, and when I realized she finally had someone of her own… like, a person she met with whom she connected without Adrian introducing them to her, was a HUGE step. Callum is one of my favorite characters in the whole series, and when the t h i n g happened I was devastated for MYSELF *sobs* but also because MM took him away from Nova. She opened to him more than she ever opened to Oscar throughout the three books. Sorry not sorry :’).

- AS A YOUNG ADULT (I’LL BE 20 IN MAY, YOU GUYS) let me tell you that all these dumbasses act like completely normal teenagers and all their shitty decisions sound like something I would’ve done when I was their age. Actually, the Team Sketch really reminds me of my own circle of friends. I’ve seen you guys complain about Adrian acting extremely dumb for his age but GUYS HE’S FUCKING 17. WHEN I WAS 17 I WAS AS CLUELESS AS HIM. ALL MY FRIENDS WERE. AND IT WAS SO STUPID IT HURT BUT SHIT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. I was the Nova among them. That is: I joined their group hella late and one of the guys became my crush. I was so dumb I told him he was my crush when I was defeated on the floor with a dislocated knee because I was having a breakdown and I legit thought I was D Y I N G. Teenagers.Are.Like.That.

- HOWEVER, EVEN IF I JUST SAID ALL OF THAT….And I want to believe all of you agree with me: I don’t justify Oscar. It’s okay being a dumb teenager, but you can’t just ask your crush to be your girlfriend during a PUBLIC EXECUTION. That wasn’t romantic. At all. If I were Ruby I would’ve been really offended, no joke. (AT LEAST WHEN I TOLD *MY* CRUSH WHILE I THOUGHT MY LEG WAS GOING TO BE AMPUTATED, WE WERE IN CHORUS CLASS. ALL THE GUYS WERE SINGING TO ME BC THEY THOUGHT THAT WOULD CALM ME DOWN. IT WAS A GROSS AND ODDLY SWEET MOMENT, YOU KNOW?).

- I feel like Ruby is…I’m not going to say mistreated, but…Idk. I feel like she’s trying her best and she’s kind to everyone in the group and in some parts of the books they just…forget about her :’). (This may be Marissa’s fault, though). Which makes me really sad, because she’s genuinely sweet and I felt like she was the most welcoming to Nova since the very beginning (Apart from Adrian, of course).

- I’m part of the “Leroy switched sides at some point” squad, but at the same time I believe he’s just very, VERY chaotic neutral and (I’m never giving up on this) since he loved Nova, he would just stick to the side where they promised to keep her safe, even if that meant being jumping back and forth between the Renegades and the Anarchists.

- I ALSO BELIEVE WINSTON MAH BOI SAW A LOT OF HIMSELF IN NOVA. To my particular point of view, his mental state was the most stable when she moved with them. He unconsciously tried to stop her from becoming what he’d become and the Anarchists realized that, so when they found Ace’s little human weapon being threatened, they just teared her away from Winston, which caused his mental health to go downhill again until he ended up all psychotic (which is how we got to meet him during Renegades).

- Honey had way more complicated issues than just being “evil”. Yes. She’s dead. And me defending her won’t make her less dead. And I know she got what she deserved because she was…completely out of control and Marissa tends to kill those who are too far gone (take Levana as an example). But I think that if she hadn’t neglected her own mental health so much she would’ve had a chance; Honey had good in her :’) maybe, before meeting Ace, she was a different person. Like, it’s mentioned she grew up in a small farm. I think she fell in love with him at some point and, by the way he talks to her sometimes, I’m *almost* sure he knew that, so he tried to take advantage of the situation to keep her in line, even though he had no intention to reciprocate her feelings. Sure, Honey is a manipulative brat, but she’s a hundred times worse when she knows Ace is around or when she knows she has a chance to get him back (she goes batshit crazy in the cathedral, you know?). Ace was a power-hungry sociopath/psychopath and she was a depressed, also power-hungry woman who was in love with him. And that’s a BAD combination. Honey Harper was hopeless… and I think she even showed some signs of Stockholm Syndrome.

- Still, Honey and Nova’s relationship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my dad. Theirs was a toxic relationship, but since I’ve been through that (still going through that), I refuse to believe it will be easy for Nova to overcome her death *that* easily. They loved each other in a…violent, weird way, but Honey was Nova’s mother more than Tala ever got the chance to be (because Ace took that opportunity away from her) and if Honey hadn’t been so –like I mentioned before- hopeless, they could’ve fixed their relationship until it was normal and healthy, because Honey showed signs of loving Nova, and Nova showed signs of loving her.

- Every death in Supernova had a very specific narrative purpose but, even if I hate Evander as much as y’all do, I think his death was done for the sake of the shock factor afgshja like, he died in such a sudden, meaningless way :’).

- Tamaya is nothing but wasted potential. You have a savage, feral, badass woman with w i n g s and the only thing she does is getting her fucking face burned and throwing fists with entitled teenagers.

- I LIVE for Simon and Hugh as couple, but (gosh, saying this makes me feel really guilty) the fact that they didn’t share not even ONE kiss throughout the trilogy made me feel really queerbaited :’). Same thing happened with Danna and Narcissa, but I think that was PLAIN half-assed.

-Why doesn’t Adrian has Simon’s last name as well? :’)

- ADRIAN NEEDS THERAPY AS MUCH AS NOVA DOES. LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN, HERE WE GO:

*So, we know that Marissa Meyer’s male characters are always really sweet and kind and wholesome and omg :’)…and then there’s fucking Jacin (whom I love, but that doesn’t minimize the fact he shall burn in hell X’DDDD) . I mean, he’s kind…to Winter and Winter only…and Cress…sometimes. When it comes to Winter, he’s capable of a lot, A LOT of things. He comes off as rude many times (especially to Cinder, during Cress) and…yeah. He looks like he could kill you and he could ACTUALLY kill you; I feel like the fandom moves Adrian to …whatever category Kai’s in….but I’m not sure that’s the case. Let’s analyze Cinder’s equivalent to Nova’s bracelet: Peony’s chip; Kai was mad at Cinder, FUCKING mad. But once he kinda figured out Cinder was grieving his sister and keeping the only thing she had left from her for emotional reasons, he didn’t, under any circumstance, no matter how much he hated Cinder at the moment, want that chip to be taken away from her. Kai had lost his father. He KNEW what it felt like and he didn’t want anyone to feel the same way, because he SAW Cinder suffer her little sister’s death. Adrian had lost his mother and he knew Nova had lost both her mother and her father AND her little sister; she had opened up enough to tell him that bracelet was the only thing she had left from her father…and when he learned Nova was Nightmare, instead of interrogating her, taking a sample of her blood or things like that, he straight took her bracelet. Because Adrian was hurt and he wanted her to be hurt too, so he took away the one thing that mattered the most to her and THAT WASN’T VERY KAI OF HIM IF YOU ASK ME. My point is, sadly: Adrian is ABSOLUTELY traumatized due to his mother’s death (who wouldn’t?) and now that he knows he indirectly killed her he will only get WORSE. He hated Nova for being Nightmare just because he thought she had something to do with Georgia’s death, so when things went to shit, he did her in the dirtiest way he could, making her feel hated and unwanted, which were Nova’s delicate spots afgshja…like, Adrian’s capable of a lot of things(just like Jacin). He NEEDS therapy. Now.

- The heated kiss scene during Archenemies is both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time (besides…you know, heated). Nova’s so touch-starved she gets overwhelmed when Adrian suddenly gives her all the physical affection she didn’t have during her childhood. And…I feel it was a very intimate moment between both of them, because they were physically and emotionally invested and omg. This only makes my previous point (about the bracelet) more horrible, because I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt when he took away her bracelet with so.much.hatred.

-WE DESERVED TO KNOW THE CHANGES THAT WERE MADE TO THE SYSTEM BC TBH THE RENEGADES SYSTEM WAS SHITTY AF… It’s like…they claimed to be against what the Anarchists did but then suddenly they were doing the same things themselves. And I don’t think that’s fair. The Renegades acted as messed up as the Anarchists during Supernova. They wanted to EXECUTE a MINOR who committed MINOR CRIMES. I mean, what did Nightmare even do? Right, she tried to assassinate Hugh but she FAILED, and she neutralized Team Frostbite in SELF-DEFENSE and in Max’s defense.

- Besides, the way Anarchists were treated was...really inhuman. As far as I understand, they didn’t have access to public services or anything like that. What if they needed meds? Where did they get their food from? Did they have, like, fucking running water? Electricity? There are also three women among them and they get *periods*, people, and *period stuff* is expensive as fuck. Like, did they have to steal tampons? And if they did…were they chased because of it? Even though they had no way to get income in a legal way because they were Anarchists and being out there like normal people was against the rules for them? Lol?

- JESUS THAT SYSTEM REALLY NEEDED TO BE CHANGED LMAO AFGSHJA

-Also, Cragmoor? Wtf.

- AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, NOT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY BUT BECAUSE THIS IS TOO LONG ALREADY: It think Nova and Evie have been apart for too long and it’s going to be hard for them to create a bond. They’ll have to get used to it, because it’s going to be confusing for Nova and, given the fact Evie’s personality is…like that, I think she’ll go as far to blame Nova like “But you were SUPPOSED to look for me.”

I rest my case.

#salty lmao #renegades trilogy #marissa meyer #nova artino #nightmare #adrian everhart #the sentinel #sketch #honey harper #leroy flinn #winston pratt #alec artino #hugh everhart #simon westwood #mostly unpopular opinions

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pastelninjaimagines · 5 years

Note

kISAME w/ more of the fluff alphabet bc the last one was real cute 😌

Kisame Hoshigaki

Thank you, I’m glad you liked them :) since letters were not specifically specified I just did his name - mod tina

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

already answered here

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You have definitely broadened his horizons. While he was already a pretty open guy, he never really went out of his way to try new things, be it food or new hobbies. He knew what he liked and stuck to that. You definitely introduced him to a whole new world, and he’d never think of going back.

On a more serious note. you definitely changed his self acceptance. He kind of low key hated himself before you came along. He thought he wasn’t worthy of love. And you filled his world with love and affection. You got this man some kind of way and he craves the affection and attention you give him. You filled his whole world with love and that inspires him to be a better person.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He. Is. So. Supportive. Whatever you ‘re striving for, he’s your cheerleader. He’ll go wherever he needs to go, do whatever he needs to do to support you. (like in a modern au - if you’re an athlete or a performer of some type, he comes to every event. Doesn’t matter when or where he’s there). Emotionally he loves talking about your dreams and aspirations, and likes to help you plan how you’re going to achieve these things. And he believes in you 100%. To him, you can accomplish anything, you could rule the world. Bc let’s be real. You rule Kisame’s heart already.

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

So this is more for a modern au, but since it was the first thing i thought of….Kisame is definitely into surfing. Like he’s so good at it. If you know how to surf too, he’ll be ecstatic and love going out on the water with you. If you don’t know how to surf, get ready for free lessons. If you’re enthusiastic about learning he’ll be overjoyed and put his all into instructing you in the art of surfing.

Also, fishing. He, ofc, loves to do anything where water is involved. He loves sailing and fishing and is really good at both. So doing these things with you (and teaching you about these things if you don’t already know about his hobbies), is a great way to deepen your relationship. Also you get to see him with kid-level pure joy. It’s adorable.

He’s also incredibly down to do whatever it is you wanna do. Wherever you wanna go, he’ll go. Whatever your hobbies are, he wants to learn about them and learn why they make you happy. He’s so enthusiastic about everything when it comes to you

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

So before you, he never considered himself the marriage type. He didn’t think his perfect match existed. But then you rocked his world. And there you were, loving him. He’s got heart-eyes (like that one vine). Yeah. He wants to marry you.

As for the proposal, he’s pretty nervous about it. He wants the moment to be perfect, bought the ring wayyyy before he ever asks you. He’s looking for the perfect opportunity. But he never truly sees the right time. And at one point, he’ll just blurt it out. It’s probably while you’re stuck when it’s pouring down rain and can’t find a proper shelter. He just blurts it out.

So, he’s such a good husband ok. He’s made out of 100% pure husband material. He wants to make sure that all of your needs are met, make sure that he’s making you the happiest as possible and that you’re comfortable. He likes to buy you little gifts here and there. Like he’ll come home with flowers. He’s also very observant to your wants so if you off-handedly mention that you likes something that you saw in a shop window, he’ll probably surprise you with it a week or so later. Always remembers birthdays and anniversaries and tries to make those days special. If you’re family is around, he’ll want to have good relationships with your parents and siblings.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

In the bedroom, he likes to be more dominant (though he’s not against switching this up). But in your relationship, he likes it to be an equal partnership. He likes to talk out decisions with you and for things to be relatively equal. And tbh he ultimately leaves a lot of the decision making to you, bc at the end of the day his happiness is your happiness.

#kisame #kisame hoshigaki #akatsuki #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto imagine #fluff alphabet

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eijiroukiriot · 5 years

Photo

i don’t have a fancy name for it or anything but this is my kirishima playlist

I posted about my krbk playlist a little while ago but since it’s Boy Day I wanted to finally post about my solo Kirishima playlist too!! The only other thing I have to say is that I Love The Boy and that’s what this playlist is for :)

Spotify Link

song descriptions under the cut!

(bc of how i want to format the explanations, this list will be out of order with the actual playlist but that doesn’t actually matter that much!)

i. Teenage Icon - The Vaccines

“Oh look at me, so ordinary

No mystery with no great capabilities”

-I guess it’s pretty fitting to start the list off with a very Middle School Kirishima kinda song! Something I really love about this one is that it’s very steeped in this idea that “oh I’m not great, I’ve been blown up my whole life but I’m really nothing special, I should just stop pretending to be” but then the choruses and the bridge are so upbeat that it feels like it’s made peace with it! Maybe even like it’s celebrating it? Like, this isn’t wallowing in self hatred, it’s an anthem and I feel like it’s the kind of thing Kirishima would listen to in middle school and think “yeah, I’m not special, so what, who cares”

ii. Whatta Man - I.O.I

the one w the classic “whatta man whatta man whatta man” hook but a kpop song

-as kirishima is the only boy alive, this song talking about a very good man must be dedicated to him

-put in the ioi ver instead of the classic one bc i love girls

iii. Embers - Owl City

“And we'll watch the sky as it fills with light

And though the embers are new, whatever you do just don't let the fire die”

-Something you are gonna learn very quickly about me is that I Love Owl City

-A lot of Owl City songs are about overcoming hard times and facing forward and this one hits me more than a lot of other generic Encouraging Songs because “don’t let the fire die” feels like such a genuine sentiment, like more than “you’re a firework” or whatever because it encapsulates the idea of “this is your decision to make and something you’re gonna have to put in the effort but you can turn your life around, you don’t have to hate yourself, you can make the decision not to” which I feel is a very Kirishima sentiment

iv. I’m Gay - Bowling For Soup

“It sells records when you're sad these days, it's super cool to be mad these days -

I think rock and roll is really funny when it's serious”

-now. there is the very obvious meaning here

-But mostly this feels like a very Kirishima-ish song to me since it’s all about getting out of the “everything sucks and talking about that all the time makes you cool” mentality and not taking things so seriously, focusing on the positives and trying to make other people happy too!

v. I’ll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan

(picking a lyric to express kirishima in this one feels dumb when all you need to see this as a Him song is to imagine him belting it out)

-the 12 year old that still lives somewhere inside of me and spent hours watching videos w titles like Total Drama Character Theme Songs on youtube is Extremely proud of herself for this one

vi. The Squip Song - BMC

“Freshman year, I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue

I was a loser, just like you”

-Look the fact of it is this song has extreme Kirishima Energy and to convince you of that I could write a lot of stuff or I could just link you the animatic I made please watch it I worked very hard

-Lyrical content aside I think the funky guitar and the horns and the amount of screaming in this song are Very kirishima

vii. Fiji Water - Owl City

“If I only knew then what I know now, I’d stand like a one man band, and I’d say

‘All this is new to me, but here’s how it’s gonna be - there is more to me than meets the eye”

-owl city part 2! It’s about him seeing himself as a regular kid but getting called by a record label and flown out to talk about a record deal, and it’s cast in this light of “I didn’t see myself as much then and I was surprised it could all happen to me” but trying to make the most of it anyway, which reminds me a lot of Kirishima still doubting himself but getting to UA anyway

-The last line “I laughed when I got back home and I thought, ‘there’s no such thing as luck’” is my absolute favorite part of the song and when I imagine that as kirishima getting home after crushing the entrance exam and falling face-first onto his bed laughing...well! a bitch is soft!

viii. I Wanna Meet Richard Dreyfuss - Gabriel Gundacker (the guy who made the “you are my dad” vine)

“Hello, don’t mean to interrupt your flow

But I’ve got something you need to know, and it’s very specific, so here we go:

I wanna meet Richard Dreyfuss”

-This song is from an album dedicated to a fan’s process of wanting to meet, NEEDING to meet, giving up on, trying to forget about, (brief intermission about saddles as he forgets about), apologizing to, finally meeting, and saying a satisfied goodbye to Richard Dreyfuss and it’s one of my favorite albums of all time

-At first I just thought the song sounded pretty Kirishima in terms of earnest effort and slightly-soulful high notes but then someone sent me an ask like “WHY IS THE RICHARD DREYFUSS SONG ON YOUR KIRISHIMA PLAYLIST” and I realized it would totally make sense for Kirishima to write an entire album about wanting to meet Crimson Riot, so, checkmate

ix. Angel, Please - Ra Ra Riot

“Long as I feel I can tell the danger did it - oh, you guard yourself, you do

I wasn't hurt but I know you're the curse, I know you were”

-i am not gonna lie the first time i heard this song I just wanted so so badly to make it abt kirishima bc 1) album cover is red 2) band name has riot in it

-Anyway so after a month of listening to it w that mindset I can say pretty confidently that this song makes me think of Kirishima’s big fat crush on bkg so really it should be in the krbk playlist instead of this one but I do what I want

x. Beautiful Times - Owl City

“My heart's burning bad and it's turning black but I'm learning how to be stronger”

-Owl City part 3 :)

-This one is the most focused on the dark side of things and the “struggling through the depression” angle but I really do think the ending is a beautiful sentiment and that line up there reminds me of him

-I feel like...things never get easy right away and there’s always gonna be some doubt there no matter how good you feel, and the only thing we can do about that is to keep trying to make things better

Songs that are also in my krbk playlist which I wrote about here that I won’t describe at length again but that I mostly associate with Kirishima:

xi. Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede

xii. Kimi Janakya Dame Mitai - Masayoshi Oishi

xiii. Knock Three Times - Tony Orlando & Dawn

xiv. If You Wanna - The Vaccines

xv. Slayers - Matt Fishel (I do want to say that this one is a big one bc it literally feels like what Kirishima would come up with if he tried to write bkg a song)

xvi. I’m Totally Obsessed With Him - Matt Fishel

xvii. Television/So Far So Good - Rex Orange County

xviii. Mamma Mia - ABBA

Aaaand, songs that all remind me of Kirishima just because they’re bops filled with loud, boisterous, cheerful, and at times comedic Kirishima Energy:

xix. Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy

xx. Flyers - Bradio

xxi. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

xxii. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

xxiii. Sincerely Me - Dear Evan Hansen

xxiv. Uptown Funk - Bruno Mars

#hello......im love him and that's all i have to say #i've been adding things to this playlist for the past few months and i've wanted to talk about it for a while so ! here it is #i've definitely linked it before and there's not as much to talk abt as on the krbk list but! it's made w love #thoughts #e2019 #playlists

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bravadoseries · 4 years

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tell us about your braudrey wasteland baby analysis

this ended up being long and angsty i am sorry . if u want i can analyze songs from his other album in a happier way to even it out lol

“nfwmb”:

“when i first saw you / the end was soon” - audrey and bruce met on the helicarrier and i think when they fought in new york they both knew they might not come out of it. audrey was inexperienced and way out of her depth, bruce was really against turning back into the hulk again.

“Give your heart and soul to charity / ‘Cause the rest of you, the best of you / Honey, belongs to me” - they both give parts of themselves away for the greater good and feel most human with each other

“Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing can get a look in on my baby / Nothing fucks with my baby / Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing” - when hozier wrote this song everyone thought it was about how nothing fucks with his baby because he protects her but he said actually nobody fucks with her because she’s extraordinarily powerful and scary. i think both of these apply to braudrey—nobody fucks with bruce because audrey protects him, and nobody fucks with the hulk because he’s giant and terrifying

“moment’s silence (common tongue)”

“When stunted hand earns place with man by mere monstrosity / Alarms are struck and shore is shook by sheer atrocity / A cure I know that soothes the soul, does so impossibly” - this is related to an upcoming ~chapter~ lol but basically audrey and bruce go on a retreat upstate that’s supposed to give him the opportunity to hulk out and like scare some squirrels in the woods but while they’re there, audrey and the hulk become good friends ? and so that’s why she’s able to reason with bruce when he turns

“almost (sweet music)”

i would place this one as post aou when audrey thinks bruce is dead.

“i’m almost me again, she’s almost you” - after a bit, she starts dating again but she’s still very much grieving and hung up on him

“i wouldn’t know where to start / sweet music playin’ in the dark / be still my foolish heart / don’t ruin this on me” - audrey becomes good friends with wanda and pietro after age of ultron and they haven’t been around long but they ask her to talk about it because she sits in her room playing the same song every day and crying and they’re like … ?

“I got some colour back, she thinks so, too / I laugh like me again, she laughs like you” - i think this is just audrey letting herself be close to people again. it’s not the same but it’s not so lonely

“movement”

“I still watch you when you're groovin’” so this song i think is about like someone dancing and being really seductive and sexy but this reminds me of bruce watching audrey dancing really terribly w tony at every avengers function. audrey literally cannot dance for shit and it’s endearing to bruce

“When you move / I can recall somethin' that's gone from me / When you move / Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free” - i think bruce gets kind of fixated on watching audrey spar and fight; like partially because it’s hot but also because he sees her as very powerful and finds it magnetizing

“no plan”

i’m gonna go ahead and place this as ragnarok/infinity war

“for starts / what a waste to say the heart could feel apart / or feel complete, baby” - audrey and bruce reunite on sakaar and it’s a very emotional scene; it’s a waste to say the heart could feel apart because she knows she’s not less without him but there’s this understanding, this thing that’s been off that’s finally righted when they’re back together

“My heart is thrilled by the still of your hand / That's how I know now that you understand” - this applies to a very specific moment in ragnarok before they go to fight hela where audrey puts her hand over bruce’s and he looks at her and she’s unable to tell him that if they die right now she loves him but he knows anyway

“There's no plan / There's no race to be run / The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun / There's no plan / There's no kingdom to come / I’ll be your man if you got love to get done / Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan / There's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” - so this is all very apocalyptic and not to flex but i was at a concert and hozier talked about this line and how the whole song was written about the doomsday clock and a time when it was closer to zero than ever; it’s a song about throwing caution into the wind at the end of the world and i think that’s fitting. there’s a period where audrey realizes that they’re not gonna beat thanos, and that the snap is gonna happen, and she takes a breath and notices everything around her and just thinks about how she’s lucky to have had it at all.

“nobody”

“You know when it's twelve o'clock in Soho, baby / It's gin o'clock where I'll wake up, I don't know / And I think about you though everywhere I go / And I've done everything and I've been everywhere, you know” - this just reminds me of when audrey is away on missions and bruce is still at the base; she’s been everywhere in the world because she’s been alive for so long and she’s been around for a lot; the one thing she’s most grateful for her lifetime to have coincided with though is bruce

“i’ve had no love like your love / from nobody” - this is just them lol they understand each other on another level

“I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint / I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave” - this is audrey 2 bruce … she would be appalled if he ever tried to get rid of the hulk for good; i think that it’s such a significant part of how they see and understand each other

“If I had the choice between hearing either noise: The excitement of a thousand or the soothing of your voice / At first chance, I'd take the bed warmed by the body” - they just choose each other. they choose to be with each other. this reminds me of the “give your heart and soul to charity” line in nfwmb because it’s like if they had to be heroes without each other they wouldn’t be happy

“as it was”

there’s a conversation bruce and audrey have at the safehouse in age of ultron where bruce is saying he doesn’t feel the same since wanda fucked with his head bc of the vision he had, and he’s worried abt whether or not audrey can continue to care for him when the chaos the hulk created wasn’t for any good or if she’s changed her mind and she has to assure him that she hasn’t; there are a lot of lines from this song that remind me of that

-“whatever’s here that’s left of me / is yours just as it was”

-“Just as it was, baby / Before the otherness came / And I knew its name / The drug, the dark, / The light, the flame”

-“its holds had the fight of my baby / and the lights were s bright as my baby / but your love was unmoved”

-“the sights were as stark as my baby / and the cold cut as sharp as my baby / and the nights were as dark as my baby / half as beautiful, too” (unrelated sidenote but this line gives me chills always)

then the second verse of this reminds me of audrey and bruce in ragnarok:

“Tell me if somehow Some of it remains How long you would wait for me How long I've been away The shape that I'm in now Your shape in the doorway Make your good love known to me Or just tell me about your day”

“shrike”

so audrey has a really really hard time saying i love you after bruce leaves at the end of aou, to anyone—she says it to steve maybe once, but she can’t say it besides that one time, and it’s part of why she’s so torn up about peggy dying because she didn’t tell her she loved her enough in the months leading up to her death.

but also, when bruce comes back, audrey still can’t muster up the ability to say them out loud, and so at the end of infinity war, she’s left without telling any of the people she loves that she loves them. when she comes back in endgame, she’s able to overcome that to tell them. this song reminds me of that

“I couldn't utter my love when it counted / Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now” - this is when she comes back

“The words hung above / But never would form / Like a cry at the final breath that is drawn / Remember me love when I'm reborn / As the shrike to your sharp / And glorious thorn” - this is both; she couldn’t say it, but she’s “reborn” during endgame and she realizes that the worst has already happened countless times; there’s nothing else to be afraid of that she hasn’t survived

“Then when I met you, my virtues uncounted / All of my goodness is going with you now” - this is just audrey when bruce leaves

“talk”

ok this entire song is just both audrey and bruce when they like each other but don’t wanna say anything about it.

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found Hey yeah I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground Hey yeah I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around Hey yeah And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me

I won't deny I've got in my mind now (Hey, yeah) All the things I would do So I try to talk refined For fear that you find out (Hey, yeah) How I'm imagining you

I'd be the last shred of truth In the lost myth of true love Hey yeah I'd be the sweet feeling of release Mankind now dreams of Hey yeah That's found in the last witness before the wave hits Marvelling at God Hey yeah Before he feels alone one final time And marries the sea Imagine being loved by me

“dinner & diatribes”

i think…..this doesn’t match up exactly but the new year’s eve chapter…..Yeah

“Let there be damage ensued and tabloid news / And that kind of love / That's the kinda love / I’ve been dreaming of”

“would that i”

okay buckle up this one is a lot

“True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me / That the sound of the saw must be known by the tree / Must be felled for to fight the cold / I fretted fire but that was long ago” ok this i think is bruce’s perspective; love in withdrawal was the weeping of me = the isolation he put himself in following becoming the hulk was a very bad spot for him even though it was safest. the sound of the saw must be known by the tree = gotta risk it for the biscuit! must be felled for to fight the cold / i fretted fire but that was long ago = i used to be afraid but now i’m not; it’s worth the risk

“Oh, but you're good to me / Oh, you're good to me / Oh, but you're good to me, baby” bruce is just continually confused and surprised by the fact that audrey isn’t scared of him

“With each love I cut loose I was never the same / Watching still living roots be consumed by the flame / I was fixed on your hand of gold / Laying waste to my loving long ago”

-with each love i cut loose i was never the same = bruce has cut off everyone he’s been close to since the hulk happened and he’s not the same when he’s alone; he thinks he can make it by himself and he probably can but he doesn’t have to

-i was fixed on your hand of gold / laying waste to my loving long ago = this is actually nice bc the gold imagery specifically matches up with what audrey’s powers are, and so there’s that connection to be made

“And it's not tonight / Where I'm set alight / And I blink in sight / Your blinding light” this also just matches up really nicely w audrey’s powers lol

“sunlight”

“I had been lost to you, sunlight / And flew like a moth to you, sunlight / Oh your love is sunlight” i think this would be bruce after age of ultron ? he’s been lost to audrey, but when he sees her he gravitates back toward her immediately; he sees her love as sunlight

“the tale is the same / told before and told again / soul that's born in cold and rain / knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight” - bruce is the soul that’s born in cold and rain and audrey is sunlight

“Each day you rise with me / Know that I would gladly be / The Icarus to your certainty” - i think he’s just devoted to her

“wasteland, baby”

okay going line by line for this one lol buckle up!

“All the fear and fire of the end of the world / Happens each time a boy falls in love with a girl” - when they’re fighting thanos audrey is actually reminded of bruce; how losing him felt like the world ending, now it’s for real

“Happens great, happens sweet / Happily, I'm unfazed here, too” - when audrey goes at the end of infinity war, she goes smiling

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you” - they just love each other

“All the things yet to come are the things that have passed / Like the holding of hands, like the breaking of glass / Like the bonfire that burns / That all words in the fight fell to” - everything that has happened has led them to this moment; loki, ultron, hydra, etc. without that they wouldn’t have each other, but they also probably wouldn’t be dealing with this mess. it’s not good or bad, it’s just the way things went.

“Wasteland, baby / I’m in love, I'm in love with you”

“And I love too, that love soon might end / Be known in its aching / Shown in the shaking / Lately of my wasteland, baby” - they know it’s over before it’s over; they can tell what’s going to happen before it happens, and they’re just paralyzed in that moment

“Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking / Though quaking, though crazy / That's just wasteland, baby” - when audrey goes bruce pleads with her to stay

“And that day that we'll watch the death of the sun / To the cloud and the cold and those jeans you have on / And you'll gaze unafraid as they sob from the city roofs” - in the years after the snap, bruce has the most vivid dream almost every night where audrey’s . like . ghost comes to him and takes him to the top of a hill and they watch the world end around them. it’s terrible and every time he wakes up he misses it.

“When the stench of the sea and the absence of green” - ok lol this just reminds me of how the hulk wouldn’t come fight at the end of infinity war

“Are the death of all things that are seen and unseen / Are an end but the start of all things that are left to do” - the world ends; half of everything is dead; but they’re still left. bruce and steve and everyone have to go on living still.

“Wasteland, baby / I'm in love, I'm in love with you / (That's it)” - this abruptness just reminds me a lot of the snap; that’s it. there’s no going back.

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ofieugogyshz · 4 years

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💌💌💌? :D

send me a 💌 and ill pick a random song off my ship playlist and tell you why i associate it with my ship

Unforgettable - Natalie Cole & Nat King Cole

GOD THIS ONE WAS ALMOST A CONTENDER FOR A FIC TITLE ON OUR LOVE IS HERE TO STAY (which is on its second oldies title; there was like, five contenders).

I like this version specifically because, it’s a duet song that features the line ��That someone so unforgettable / Thinks that I am unforgettable too.” You don’t really get it that well by itself, it loses that nuance I think, when it’s just one of them singing it. Also they have really great harmony and balance??? But them just singing that set of lines, together, really, REALLY emphasizes the togetherness and, just, idk, mirror-ness of the song? Just. The duet version is soooooo soo sososososo much better than the original.

OKAY, LET’S TRY TO BREAK THE REST OF THIS ONE DOWN

Unforgettable, that's what you are Unforgettable, though near or far

since we’ve spent a lot of our time up until, like, early twenties kind of in a partially ldr, like.... we couldn’t forget the other! we were on each other’s minds a lot!! Esp before we, actually got together as a couple, I suppose.... But we always remembered each other. Even nowadays, if we’re still like, somewhere together, we’re always kind of, thinking of the other when there’s time for our minds to wander, maybe i guess.

How the thought of you does things to me

ok look ignoring the idea that maybe out of context (or in context, I don’t know but the other songs these two sing don’t seem to be in any way explicit for their originating time period) this line probably is covert... uhhhh.... well anyways, like. hello i think of my husband and all of a sudden i am overcome with fluster. my lips do this thing where they like, curl up and suddenly my face is hot and i feel like, the adrenaline rush of needing to flee and hide but it also like, feels kinda good because, like, APPARENTLY that’s what liking someone feels like, I GUESS???? yeah. that’s a thing that a thought of him does to me.

Never before has someone been more Unforgettable in every way

[...]

No, never before has someone been more Ooh unforgettable (unforgettable) In every way (in every way)

honestly I haven’t asked recently and I don’t remember the answer from whenever I probably did ask out of curiosity, but I’m sure that the feelings we get from thinking about the other, be it protection or a desire to just. be around the other and love them unconditionally and give them good things??? like, idk, but MAYBE we haven’t had that happen with a lot of other people in our lives. maybe there wasn’t a chance for someone else to step in, given how young we were, but. he’s always been there for me and I’ve never once forgotten that I like him? or that he was there? like.... he’s always been taking up some part of my mind, even when there’ve been dormant years due to lack of content. I’ve just. always found some way to love him.

That's why darling, it's incredible That someone so unforgettable Thinks that I am unforgettable too

HELLO?????!!!??!!??!?! I’ve always thought he was so amazing and awesome and cool and okay maybe it took awhile to think he was handsome i’ll admit i did not find his key art attractive in any way, but him in the anime...... uh, like... i’ve always thought him incredible and stuff!!! and he thinks the same of me too??? lil me who’s spend so much of their life thinking they’re boring and bland and LITERALLY BEING TAUGHT negative things about themselves that we won’t go into right here, like..... he thinks??? I’m unforgettable too??? ;a; he thinks I’m amazing??? That i’m incredible?? I dunno about cool but he’s always thought I’m adorable and a sweetheart and very kind and caring and it’s just like AAAAAAAAAAA babe where did you find these things because I think you just looked in the mirror. And maybe he doesn’t have the low self-esteem like I do, but it gets to him when he hears me go off about him, or I tell him all that, and it does fluster him deep down but he tries very well to hide it, more than I do. And like??? we both think the world of each other???? ISN’T THAT JUST INCREDIBLE?????????????? and maybe unforgettable doesn’t come to mind, but you could literally swap out any sentiment that we go off about when it comes to the other, and we literally think the same of the other, too.

Chances Are - Johnny Mathis & Ray Conniff

okay look this is basically a flirt song lbr you look at the lyrics and that’s kinda flirty fdkmkfmd but you know what, it’s true and he should say it. i should say it. we should say it??? anyways you know what this can be our flirt song from when we were young kids i say kids even though we prob woulda been older teens/YA bc i work with that age group and Y’ALL ARE A BUNCHA KIDS

Chances are 'cause I wear a silly grin The moment you come into view

Chances are you think that I'm in love with you

me. that’s just me. i always got get so silly at the sight of him. Because I love him

Just because my composure sort of slips The moment that your lips meet mine Chances are you think my heart's your Valentine

you know what, he gets this one. because as much suave and coolness he can play as he very easily lbr romances me, i’m sure even he gets a little happy, a little lovestruck, when we kiss.

Chances are you believe the stars that fill the skies are in my eyes Guess you feel you'll always be the one and only one for me Well, chances are your chances are awfully good

insert flirting/romancing each other scene here. that’s it that’s just it

okay spotify let’s shuffle and get something MORE MODERN, LIKE FROM MY ERA PLZ? no? okay fine well I saw this one while I was turning stuff on so I guess I’ll just have to do it myself.

We Are Magic - Lolirock

this is just another me song and if i had it when i was a kid this would have instantly become another babby sarah classic. (it was only a few years ago that I watched Lolirock, shortly after s2 was on netflix I suppose? But I remember hearing about it back when it was still in greenlight) regardless, it is instantly a classic even though the french sounds better

You tell me I'm out of sight You give me butterflies I'm hanging on every word you say You always make my day

My heart is like a bass drum When I see you, I skip a beat The way I feel's so awesome 'Cause you keep smiling back at me

You tell me I'm really cute You got me hooked on you

hello yes?? who let you into my head? regardless if he’s complimented me or not, just. A Lance a day keeps the depression at bay. Okay maybe it’s a bit more complicated than that, but seeing him sure does make the day better! ♥ He, just... ugh. I love him so much and seeing him feel that way towards me, thinking of him. He’s so ready to compliment me, regardless if I need it but because he wants to, he feels a need to, because he loves me??? I am hook line and sinker his. I might not have always felt the same at the beginning, and maybe he might have had to fight me on unlearning saying negative things about myself, but... it’s so hard nowadays to think those thoughts because he’s so right, and it’s so rude to say that his words aren’t true. okay that’s a little off-track of where I shoulda went but it kind of goes in line with “hanging on every word” and “you got me hooked on you”, because, like, how can you not listen to the person you love tell you that you’re amazing and awesome? That you mean something and that you have value and worth?

of course i’m listening to everything he says, even if I don’t agree with it, because he’s just. there. listening. smiling at me, loving me, kissing me, giving me all of the love and support and self-confidence that I had lacked in my life. He’s.... just so supportive and ugh I love him.

#tekkai #asks

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alo-piss-trancy · 5 years

Text

Go to Sleep (P/5 omo Snippet 1)

((This was a really Crack-ish idea I wrote at 4am for practice lol. Combines Akira-literally-can't-speak-up-to-a-CAT trope and the Wardens teasing him bc like, why not give Caroline more reason to torment him lmao. Don't take this remotely seriously))

"Where do you think you're going?!?"

"Er, I was just gonna-"

"You've done enough for today! You need to get your rest, or you won't be at the top of your game tomorrow!"

"I know, but I was just-"

"Go to sleep!" The little monster was insistent, leaping over to stand between him and the stairs. He was short, sure, but his stance was firm, with cold blue eyes that pretty much said 'Try it, I dare you...'

He considered trying to slip past him anyways, but there was still so much he didn't know about this... Morgana. He'd seen him wield a blade though, with pure savagery that almost made him cringe for the Shadows' sakes. Was that really someone he wanted to cross?

No matter how uncomfortably his bladder was nagging, he had to admit, even confessing the simple reason he was leaving wasn't appealing. Besides, if the creature wasn't from this world, Morgana might not even understand it, or care.

It's just for the night. I'll probably end up waking up earlier anyways, and then I could take care of it.

Yeah. He could sleep it off for now, and then bolt downstairs whenever his body decided to pound the alarm.

"Alright, fine... I'm going to bed..."

It was even harder to get comfortable than he'd expected. No matter how he layed, it seemed to keep increasing the pressure in his abdomen, and it was hard to cross his legs when Morgana kept trying to sleep on them. Nibbling his lip, he finally settled on his back, trying to think of anything besides how badly he needed to pee.

Coffee with dinner was an awful idea...

By some miracle, he did eventually manage to drift off, exhaustion slowly overcoming even the most urgent of throbbing pulses.

~~~

"Welcome back."

"Took ya' long enough, inmate!"

Familiar music was drifting through the air as he opened his eyes, soon rising from the cot. The moment he sat up though, he grimaced, pressing his thighs together.

Right.

"Well? Aren't you coming over here?"

"Yeah, we don't have all night!"

Why couldn't I have just had a normal dream?

He really wasn't in the mood to hear their long, confusing explanations for things that would only come into play later. Still, he had no choice but to obey, slowly standing and beginning the awkward shuffle towards the bars. Ohhh, the heavy ball attached to his leg wasn't making his movements any easier... By the time he inched his way there, he had to grip the bars just to keep his hands from flying south, panting a bit as he waited.

Honestly, he couldn't focus on more than maybe every few words, the rest of his attention devoted towards keeping his thighs clenched together or jiggling his leg, shifting his weight from one foot to another every so often.

Shut up, oh God, please shut up and just let me go back to bed... please please please sh-

A sudden loud, metallic clang had him flinching back, his bladder pulsing even more frantically as he realized Caroline and her beating stick were pressed right up against the bars, the girl (woman?) looking absolutely livid.

"Did you just tell me to 'Shut up', inmate!?!"

A pit dropped into his stomach so fast he thought he was going to hurl. So his prayers had turned into actual mumbling then...

"I-I, um, I-I'm so sorry, it's n-not, um, I d-didn't mean-

"You are normally quite composed, even somewhat intelligent. Yet you haven't made a single inquiry this time." Justine mused, gently guiding Caroline away from his cage. "What is troubling you?"

Well, he was grateful she'd spared him from being potentially murdered, but that didn't make the question any easier to answer. Feeling his face grow hot, he glanced at the floor, twisting his fingers together where his wrists were still shackled. "S-Sorry, it's, um, not anything related to you two. I just... I really wasn't up for dealing with all of this tonight..." he confessed.

"You don't get to pick when you come here!" Caroline hissed. "This isn't something to take lightly! It's part of your sacred duty as the Wildcard to-"

"Caroline, let him explain." Justine chided, shooting her companion a stern glare. "Go on, inmate."

Shit. He'd hoped that was going to be enough of an explanation. Biting his lip, he tried to think of a way to satisfy them without spilling the actual reason, but then his bladder spasmed again, so harshly that he found himself gasping, knees buckling as he squeezed his thighs together.

It's so bad now, it's so bad...

Unable to help the whimper that fell from his lips, he tried to clutch at himself, only to realize his shackles kept his hands just out of reach.

Please, I'm gonna piss myself!

Another spasm, and he groaned, finally managing to tug the leg without the chain to cross over his other one, rocking back and forth.

"Oh my..."

"Is that your only problem, dumbass!?! There's a toilet right behind you!"

Face burning, he took a quick glance back, soon spotting the small thing, tucked into the shadows of his cell. Oh...

"Um, is it... I mean, I come here in my sleep, a-and personas are cognitive, right? Are you sure I can-"

"Go on, inmate. Trust us."

"Yeah, we wouldn't lie to you! We'd get stuck cleaning it if you made a mess in here!" Caroline huffed, looking repulsed at the very thought.

He hesitated, still sceptical of their intentions as he stared at them for a good minute, but then a fresh wave of need pulled another nervous groan from him. He tried to cross his legs tighter, hunching slightly, but the pressure was still stinging enough to make his eyes water.

Damn it, Morgana...

"Alright..." he conceded quietly, feeling heat begin to sting his ears. He'd just. Go here. Right in front of them.

Luckily, he remembered something else before he started the long, ball-and-chain shuffle back, and instead stayed near the bars.

"Um, I can't exactly... er, c-could you...?" Unable to look them in the eyes, he simply held out his shackled wrists, shifting his weight anxiously.

"You're gonna to have to be more specific, inmate!" Caroline started, snickering and wearing the most devilish grin a small girl was capable of. "I don't think I understand exactly what-"

"Caroline, please refrain from taunting him. If you waste valuable time, I will ensure that you alone are responsible for the aftermath."

"Ugh, fine... Hold still so I can unlock your cuffs!" she grumbled, digging through her key ring and eventually freeing him.

"Thank you!" he managed to gasp out

((I never decided what I was gonna do with the rest. He could piss the bed bc they played him for a sucker, or maybe it was legit and he's fine. Who knows?))

#omocute #omorashi #fandomo #fictomo #persomo #bearfic #these r taking ages to format i pray it works lol #not dashing names bc there's way too many rip

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pbiskillingmehere · 6 years

Text

Undone (Marc Antony x MC)

Fandom: A Courtesan of Rome

Pairing: Marc Antony x MC (Maeve)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut

Word Count: ~3.5k

Rating: NSFW

Author’s Note: Okay so....yeah this fic is super angsty. My bad lol. For those of you who read my last fic, this fits into the Conquered storyline if you squint, but I also wanted to make something in the spirit of the latest chapter. If someone could tell me if the formatting is okay that would be fantastic bc it’s coming up different for me, and I have a huge pet peeve with bad formatting in fics. I believe I tagged everyone who specifically asked me to, but if I missed you/you want me to tag you in the future, don’t be afraid to let me know :)

Tag List: @claudevonstruke @bacchantony @choicesarehard @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @regina-and-happiness

Antony couldn't stop staring at the woman in his bed. Even in sleep, Maeve was mesmerizing, with her wild hair splayed across his chest, a smooth cheek pressed against his heart, face upturned. Her body fit snuggly against his as she laid across him. He had chuckled when she threw a thigh across his hips in her sleep, trapping him between her and the bed, not that he would want to be anywhere else.

In the early morning light, Maeve was more ethereal and visionary than any worshipped statue or marble bust, her features the calmest he had ever seen them. As much as he liked her fire, seeing her at peace, not scheming, not worrisome, not full of anger, was a sight to beholden. Perhaps because it was such a rare thing, as she was.

He had met a number of strategists and conspirators in his time, but none quite like her. She struck a balance between charming and commanding, diplomacy and stubbornness. With such contradictions, she weaved together multiple patterns in her plans, not just serving herself and her need for power and vengeance, but for those who she cared for, and she did so with as much skill as Minerva herself. Compassion was not a quality often found alongside cleverness, but as always, she had managed to surprise him. He just hoped that when she would need to choose between self-sacrifice and self-preservation, she would surprise him once more.

When he first realized she had ruined him for other women, Antony went through such a rapid succession of emotions, he felt he had gone mad. What struck him first was disbelief. He knew he liked Maeve, but he had liked plenty of women in his time, and none had compelled him to reject all other advances. He was not a man who did declarations of devotion and longevity in relationships. Then he was overcome with anger. Even if he did want her more than anyone else, she was too dangerous, and he was still unsure of her loyalty then. Who was she to do that to him anyway? A willful seductress with a tongue like a silver sword, apparently. What followed that was disappointment. Of course he would feel strongly for a woman that potentially conspired against him and whom he had rejected. If the gods did look upon man, they did so with a sick sense of irony. However, when she came to him, reminding him why she had this hold on him in the first place, he was overtaken with something that felt very close to adoration. Then he merely accepted his fate, gladly.

There was a part of him that wished they had met sooner so he could soak up even more of her, have even more time to explore her, but he thought back to his adolescence. His younger self, untamed as he was, couldn't handle such a woman, let alone know how to please her. He wouldn't have appreciated her wit and facetiousness, too distracted by how she filled out her dress and how her hair curled around her face. She would have put him on his ass in an instant.

Drawing him from his thoughts, his eyes traveled down the length of her body, her naked curves accentuated by the smooth fabric of his sheets. A sight indeed. He moved his hand down from her back to her rear, reveling in the satisfaction that no one else got to touch her like this.

Suddenly, she struck out and smacked his hand away, muttering something in Gallic as she settled back against him as if nothing happened.

Antony shook out his hand, surprised at the pain this woman could inflict half-asleep. "Care to repeat that?" he asked into her hairline.

"Let me sleep," she murmured, this time in Latin.

"Tired you out, did I?" His hand crept back down suggestively.

She moved to hit him again, face still buried in his chest, but this time he caught her hand, kissing it before tucking it against him.

She grumbled. "Don't bait me, Antony. You'll enjoy me more when I'm fully rested."

"You've slept half the morning away, my dear, and I enjoy you like this just fine." He drew a line along the length of her shoulder with a fingertip, eliciting a slight shiver from her.

Despite his actions, he did want her to sleep, but he also wanted to chase away whatever plagued her, with his touch if not his words, bring her back to some kind of normalcy.

He thought back to the night before. Antony was not a man that frightened easily, but he clutched Maeve a little tighter after what happened.

They had spent most of the afternoon and half the night entwined, him playing a little game with himself to see how many different flat surfaces he could fuck her on before she couldn't feel her legs anymore. When they finally made it to the bed, they were both sated and in need of a restful slumber, and for a few hours, that seemed attainable.

He had woken to her twitching in her sleep, her whole body convulsing against his. Her breathing was erratic, like she had been running for a long while rather than sleeping. Before he could get his bearings, whatever awful dream she was having came to a head. She gasped horrifically as she bolted up in bed, reaching frantically for a weapon that wasn't there.

He turned on his side to reach for her, but just when he thought it was over, she tilted her head, listening. A beat passed. Then she quickly slid down the bed and went to her discarded dress. She snatched a knife from its folds and flipped it in her hand to grip it as he had seen so many Gallic warriors do before.

She came up to a predatory stance and approached the entrance to his room one sliding step at a time, knife raised in front of her. She looked like a shadow in the darkness, the lines of her form soft but rigid at the same time. "Did you hear that?" she said quietly, her voice far away.

The sight of her, naked but poised to tear into any who came to the threshold, caught Antony by surprise so completely that he wasn't sure if he was dreaming. Her arm was firm, the knife unwavering, but he saw a slight shake in her legs. His strong, clever woman, undone and trembling.

As he sat up, he slowly said, "No, Maeve. I heard nothing." After so many years as a soldier, his senses were well-tuned to threats in the night, like a musician hearing the notes to a well-practiced song. And the only thing that his senses told him was that the most dangerous threat in his home was Maeve.

She shook her head, disbelieving, but silent and unmoving.

Antony rose and approached her carefully. He lightly brushed her shoulders as to not disturb her while she was still delirious. Even then, she still flinched at his touch, but did not pull away. Her skin was pebbled and almost feverish, as if she had fallen to a sudden illness.

He pulled a blanket from the bed, keeping a steadying hand on her. She was still shaking as he wrapped the blanket around her, her eyes staring into the darkness at the ghosts of her enemies no doubt. He tightened his arms around her, bringing her back to his front.

He peppered the side of her face and neck with kisses. "It's all right, lovely. You're all right," he whispered to her, stroking her hair. "Come back to me." He could feel the fast rhythm of her heart, slowing ever so slightly.

He grabbed her clenched fist, carefully prying her fingers from the knife, observing the crescent indents in her palm that looked so close to breaking skin. He threw the blade into the opposite corner of the room.

Like bad blood being drained from a wound, the terror slowly leaked out of her. She leaned her head back against him, somehow feeling even more fragile in his arms than before. "Forgive me," she said quietly, her voice almost timid.

"You have nothing to apologize for," he said firmly, stroking a hand down her cheek.

She was silent for a long moment. "I woke up screaming every night for the first year at Lena's scholae," she said absently, her eyes closed. She swallowed. "Now it just happens every now and again."

He pressed his face into her neck. "Sometimes our most vicious torturers can be our own minds."

He tried guiding her back to bed, but she was settled in place like stone. "Aquila told me my brother is as good as dead," she said abruptly, voice thick with emotion. She turned to him but did not look up. "When I got the documents of his betrayal, I made him tell me what became of my family. I can only hope that my mother is still alive, but my brother is likely dead, and if he is, he died alone."

"Maeve--" Antony began.

"It cannot be undone." she cut him off. "None of it can. I know this, but in sleep some part of me forgets. And sometimes I'm still in Gaul." She pressed her hand to her tattoo.

In the time he had known Maeve, she had left him speechless on countless occasions, the novelty of it delighting him to no end, but never before had he been at such a loss for words. This was beyond even his power. He was in no position to comfort her in the destruction of her people. He couldn't tell her that the men who attacked them were vile and evil. He couldn't tell her that one day her tribe would be restored and everything would be as it was for her. Least of all, he couldn't tell her that her pain was necessary. No one had such authority. When Caesar had told about the campaign in Gaul, he regarded it as a necessity, a nuisance that needed to be addressed. He had said it was the best course of action for Rome, but what was that to Maeve? He could pretend she was a solely a great Roman beauty, but he could not cut her history away from her no more than he could cut away his own, no matter how much they festered.

"And where are you now?" he asked, trying to tread lighting, something that he had never felt compelled to do before. He stroked a thumb across her lips.

"Adrift," she said. She did not speak for several heartbeats. "Antony?" she finally said.

"Yes?"

"Lie to me," she breathed, and his chest constricted at the brokenness of her voice.

He kissed her forehead. His next words contradicted every conviction he had on not giving false hope or empty promises. "One day, the dreams will leave you completely. Your thoughts will be at peace, and you'll never have to wake like this again," he said, so seriously that he himself almost believed it.

She seemed to blink away the past at his words, eyes clearer than before and the strength returning to her limbs. By way of thanks, she kissed him, soft and gentle, desperate for comforts she was too proud to ask for. She had kept the shine in her eyes hidden from him, but he still felt the dampness of her face.

He had held her until she fell back to sleep, staring at the ceiling as unease pooled in his mind. Were he a better man, he would have been making plans to track down her mother, or find her some closure about her brother, but one thought was louder than the rest of it. He couldn't help but wonder how terribly different things would be if Caesar had ordered him to destroy her tribe instead of Aquila.

Now, as dawn crept in and she called him names in both Gallic and Latin, he was never more joyful to have her cross with him, for there was no trace of the events of the previous night. He didn't know if her mind had expelled the memories or if she just refused to acknowledge them aloud, but he would happily provide her distraction in any case.

"I suppose you want a quick fuck, then we can go back to sleep?" She looked at him blearily through the dark tangle of her hair. Her eyes were unfocused but still managed to convey blatant annoyance. She started to move her leg from atop him, but he palmed her thigh to keep her in place. She blew out a breath, sending stray curls flying around her face.

He couldn't help but grin like a fool at how ruffled she was. "Don't sound too overjoyed at the thought."

"It's your fault for making me like you. You stop paying for my company and I can be as grumpy as I want--" She yelped as he gave her a quick slap to the rear. "What was that for?" she all but shouted.

"Getting you to behave, you cantankerous woman."

Her mouth pursed and shrank to a pretty little rosebud as she narrowed her eyes. Then she pounced.

He laughed harder than he had in a long time as she tried wrestling him, pushing petulantly at his face and trying to grab his arms to pin down. He dodged a flying elbow and chuffed when she dug her knee into his side. Catching both of her hands, he leaned up and stole a kiss.

She sat up, straddling him, and made an attempt to swat hair out of her face. She sighed her frustration. "Well, I'm awake. Happy now?"

Releasing her hands to cup one of her breasts, he took in every bit of bare skin on display for him. "Immensely," he teased before kissing her again. This time it was slow an languid, his tongue sliding into her mouth as she reciprocated. In an instant, she was as ready and eager as he was.

She turned her head, roughly changing the angle of their kiss as she devoured him. He loved it when she did that, taking control to best suit her pleasure, moving her body and sliding her mouth against his in such a way that demanded all of his attention.

One hand on his chest, she pushed away, delicately flicking her tongue against his lips as he chased her mouth. Jupiter above, this woman would end him. He brought his hand up to her jaw to stay her, his fingers brushing the corner of her mouth. Without pretense, she drew the digits into her mouth, giving them a false nibbled before sliding her tongue against them, sucking on them wetly. He hissed through clenched teeth and pressed his hips against her at the sensation.

Releasing his fingers with an obscene pop, she smiled wickedly. "And here I thought you had gotten your fill. I'm surprised you want me when I looked much nicer last night," she murmured humorously, covering his hand to push it harder against her breast.

He drew her back to him. "I don't think I will ever not want you," he said into her mouth. His fingers traced a path up her spine and Maeve arched her back with a purr. She closed her eyes and lolled her head back as he sat up to suck a bruise into her collarbone next to the myriad of others he had given her the day before.

She clutched the back of his head when he soothed the spot he was working at with his tongue. Smiling into her skin, he gave her nipple a sudden pinch, and she writhed against him. "Bastard," she moaned, rubbing herself against his hard length beneath her.

"Viper," he breathed hotly onto her neck. "I want you like this," he declared. "So I can watch these beautiful hips moved as you ride me." He ran his hands over her hipbones to squeeze her backside before returning to grip her waist.

"Yes," she said, the word tumbling out breathlessly, pressing him back to lie down on the bed. She quickly positioned him at her entrance and sank down with a gasp.

Antony bared his teeth at the sensation of entering her. It didn't matter how many times he did it, being inside her always gave him a brief moment when he believed in gods and blessings. For if they existed at all, they did so in these moments. Clutching her hips, he guided her up and down his shaft.

She braced her hands on his abdomen and set a tortuous pace. She made every stroke long and deep, twisting her pelvis every so often to hit a different angle.

He groaned. His hands began painting her skin with his touch, brushing her sides, her breasts, her neck, then back down again. He could feel how high he was bringing her, in how her breathing turned to short little huffs, in how her lips curled and her movements became harsher.

In another act of surprise swiftness, she captured his jaw in her hand and leaned down to kiss him, tasting him once more. When she rose and looked into his face, he saw an openness and vulnerability that somehow filled her eyes and made them all the greener. He wanted to somehow possess the color and hide it from all the world.

"Tell me a lie," he said, his voice guttural.

Her movements slowed. Jade eyes stripping him bare, she ran her hand from his cheek to just over his heart. 'This," she whispered, breath stuttering, "will last forever." Then her fingers brushed his lips, as if to entreat him to say no more.

After that, they did not speak, both quickly finding their release in silent ecstasy.

~~~

Maeve walked the halls of Antony's home in contemplation. He was inches from sleep when she made vague excuses to leave him, promising to only be a few moments. He smiled sleepily and gave her a sloppy kiss before she departed.

After some time, she came upon a room decorated floor to ceiling with what seemed to be every weapon of a violent imagination. Older and modern blades were littered throughout the display, along with several bows, shields, and javelins, all of varying sizes and designs. Not necessarily an armory, but the hint of one. She suspected a number of tenuous allies and potential renegades had been paraded through there as a reminder of what power looked like, and how easily it could be wielder as any one of the weapons on display.

A spear caught her eye, simple-looking to the soft-handed senators of Rome, she was sure, but the quality of the metal and the obvious lethality to its edge made it an exceptional weapon, far beyond the standard issue of the weapons given to the legions. It reminded her of her favored spear that she used when she was still with her tribe. She had not used it as often as she would have liked but she had wielded it expertly.

She had appreciated it for its versatility. It could be used to hunt, fish, and fight at both short and long distances. An adaptable weapon made for adaptable warriors. Her father had trained her in many weapons, but she felt the most capable with her spear. Her fingers itched to bring it down from the wall to see if her body remembered the feel of it. Maybe one day she would be bold enough to try. She wasn't sure if that would put Antony on edge or amuse him.

Sickness rolled through her at the memory of how he held her after her dream, nearly crushing her to him as if such an embrace would drive the demons from her mind. Maeve had foolishly thought she would never need to touch the notion that she might have an episode in front Antony; She had gone nearly a year without one. In the darkness, coupled with the irrational fear of people and monsters that weren't there, was the panic at how Antony would react to seeing her like that. Nearly every word and movement around him was carefully calculated, nothing unchecked. But her traitorous mind had shown her soft underbelly, a weakness as ruinous as the ones of Homer's heroes. However, all he had done was comfort her and act as if it never happened. At first, she feared it was because he planned to use it at a later point, but one look into his eyes had told her it made him concerned for her, conflicted even.

Maeve's mind turned to Caesar's imminent arrival. Perhaps she could use this to her advantage. After all, who was the reason Antony's lover woke in the night with such brutality?

She suspected spying on Caesar would be hard enough if she wasn't overestimating his abilities, but reporting to Antony would be even more difficult. She wasn't sure if Caesar was the traitor that Antony expected him to be, but in any case, she would need to paint him as treacherous no matter what she found. She wasn't reckless enough to tell Antony anything that wasn’t at the very least technically true, but heavy implications and carefully constructed words were quite useful tools. She just wondered how many partial truths she would have to tell him for them equal a whole lie.

She would turn Antony against Caesar, and then turn Rome on itself.

At the thought, Maeve felt a twinge inside her that wasn't quite guilt but also wasn't the satisfaction she expected. Antony was already on his way to being favored over Caesar in the eyes of the public, and the seeds of suspicion were already planted in his mind. All she really needed to do was to give him confirmation and the subtle push he needed. Her role could even be considered minor from some perspectives.

Besides, she couldn't let herself wonder if she was betraying Antony or doing what was best for him, or both even. It wasn't as if it mattered. She needed to do it.

Maeve couldn't undo the past, but she could make a future that was retribution for it.

#acor #choices acor #playchoices acor #playchoices #acor marc antony #mc x marc antony #marc antony x mc #a courtesan of rome #pixelberry #my fic

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ansu-gurleht · 5 years

Text

okay so i went through the datamined books from eso, taking notes as i went. @boethiah sent me a message this morning about it, asking what i thought. so i figured i might as well get real comprehensive about taking down notes to answer decently, or at least do it to organize my thoughts.

before she sent me that i hadn’t heard about this, so i went into it bright-faced and intrigued. i didn’t think my notes would end up too long, so i just figured i’d send them to her when i was done, even “talking” to her in the notes (you’ll see what i mean by that).

but uh. as all things lore-related, i got a bit carried away. stopped almost halfway thru to go to class, and by then i’d started to notice some really weird, kinda silly shit in it. and then i noticed everybody in tesblr talking about it, and finally realized, “oh. so it’s like that.” so i figure i’ll post it here publicly instead.

despite the uh. obvious nonsense in a lot of this, i think there’s a lot of interesting things hidden away. so what i’m going to do is just post my notes under the read-more. i’m too lazy to organize them into something more coherent lol. they’re basically just me commenting on certain lines and stuff.

i won’t like, really go into why most of this is stupid, bc other people have already done so, and better than i probably could’ve. but you’ll know. somethings i quote things and just. have no idea how to even address them other than, at best, “??????” either bc it doesn’t make much sense, eludes useful analysis, or is just stupid.

anyways, here goes:

book 1:

azura: - "the Path"? am i wrong or has a "Path" never been referenced in khajiiti lore?

khenarthi: - alkosh comforts khenarthi after lorkhaj died? yeah right. - khenarthi's role as psychopomp for azurah mirrors kyne's role for shor. but azura doesn't factor into nord/atmoran mythology at all.

jone and jode: - azurah cares for jone and jode? interesting. (also, "Bright Moons"? full moons?)

lorkhaj: - lorkhaj as "White Lion?" - namiira (the Great Darkness) followed lorkhaj as his burden? - mention of a "path" again, made by lorkhaj with purpose. sounds yokudan. - "in conflict with himself" & "represents the duality of the Khajiiti soul" ... desert and jungle ... strife, hardship, and life, love ... both tainted deadly by nirni, according to ahnissi - "We honor his sacrifice by walking the Path with purpose and resisting the call of the Dark." ... the Path again ... the Dark? namiira? - (the khajiit seem to conflate namira and nocturnal. this isn't a new concept, as they both genuinely do overlap in many ways, but an interesting one.) - "the true spirit of Lorkhaj will sometimes appear" ... "by Azurah" - nerevar/ine, "or Khenarthi" - hjalti, "or by his oldest name" - ...ysmir?

magrus: - all of this magrus stuff is new, to my knowledge. - the importance of him fleeing from "Boethra and Lorkhaj" probably excites you :P - "fell into the Moonshadow" ... "too full of fear to rule a sphere" ... "tore out his other eye" (odin parallel? a "failed" odin, maybe? unless seeing "out of one eye" is metaphorical) - "Varliance Gate"???? "Aether Prism"???? they're the sun, but those names are brand new afaik. overall a strange alternative to the story of magnus and the sun - "Some sorcerers hold that Magrus left the eye willingly" - more odin stuff

book 2:

- azurah knows all the names of all the spirits, their protonyms? that's interesting. a lot of that "protonymic" lore is derived from the whole "true names have power" stuff, popular in magical circles from sources like kabbalah thru the lens of crowley. - "And Fadomai told stories of her children and her favorite aspects of each of them. When she reached Azurah, she smiled and told her favored daughter she could not decide. And Fadomai died." ;----; - "sat in the Great Darkness for timeless ages" ... sat with namiira? - seems to have carved moonshadow from the great darkness. (the great darkness seems to have dual meaning as both oblivion and namiira. then again, i think only clan mother ahnissi said the great darkness was namiira, so that (morrowind) lore might be outdated.) - this scene with lorkhaj and his empty dark heart is......interesting. - "UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA AZU RA" - you can pick out "namiira" and "azura" in this, but the meaning of "UR" and "DRA" elude me. - lorkhaj gets his heart torn out YET AGAIN. very rude azurah - the "Moon Beast" and its hunger remind me of the yokudan sep. - i think once upon the time "dro-m'Athra" referred to daedra in general, but i think eso has made them a specific type of daedra resembling khajiit. even more specifically, some kind of "dark khajiit" born from dead evil khajiit. - "lighting the fire with lanterns of love and mercy" - your vivec is showing, azurah. or i guess, the other way around. - this "ashes of Lorkhaj" bit gets me thinking about ysmir, again. but i'm not sure what to do with that.

book 3

sheggorath: - now THIS is a not shitty interpretation of sheggorath! he's not a "god of madness," but a god of mental fortitude, a god who tests convinction. - more stuff about "the Path" - "must be ... overcome before a Khajiit can visit Hermorah's library"? - "Sheggorath is dead and has been replaced by something Other" - the hero of kvatch? but if this is from eso, that hasn't happened yet? unless the mantling of sheogorath is a pretty common occurrence; i remember someone on tumblr suggested that this might happen every era.

orkha: - "Orkha ... followed Boethra back through the Many Paths" ... what does that mean? - "Lorkhaj, Khenarthi, and Boethra battled the demon in the ancient songs" - ... as trinimac? - "but Orkha could only be banished and would not die" ;) - "serve as tests along the Path" - so far these princes are being painted similarly to their house of troubles counterparts

dagon (also called merrunz.) - no reference to merrunz being the kitty cat. :( next - ...okay not really. "explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths"? - molagh "tortured him until the creation of the World?" but "the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz"? who is "the wife of Molagh"?

molagh (balls) - "twelve Demon Kings"? should probably look into how they got that number - "Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows." - i dont have anything to say about this really, just an interesting line i think. - "you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - interesting...afaik, aside from HAVING a khajiit name, boethiah never really factored into their faith that much, and wasn't ever mentioned in clan mother ahnissi. i wonder if azurah at some point attempted to unify her plans for the dunmer and the khajiit.

merid-nunda - interestingly, the khajiit seem to call her by her magna-ge name. - "False Spirit of Greed"? - magrus "loved only himself and his own creations"? idk if this seems all that congruent with the magrus from his own description - "cold spirit, born of light without love" - interesting - "blame her for orchestrating the death of might Lorkhaj"??!?!?!? what?????????? - "When Merid-Nunda dared assault the Lattice, Azurah struck her down before the Varliance Gate and dragged her away from it. She then cast Merid-Nunda into the Void and bound her there with mirrors. The nomads say she has since escaped." this whole thing is interesting

book 4

nirni: - nothing interesting on nirni.

y'ffer: - y'ffer "corrupted by the Great Darkness," (namira), who apparently killed nirni???!??! what??????? - worth noting that ahnissi doesn’t paint y’ffer as “corrupted” or evil or anything. in her words he’s kinda just a moron who doesn’t *get it* and does his own thing instead. - don’t get the obsession with making namiira some like. crazy super evil being. feels like eso took a look at the list of princes and was like “who hasn’t tried to destroy/take over the world yet. that’s what daedric princes do right”

hircine - hircine doesn't get a funny ta'agra name, i guess. - graht-elk?

hermorah - hermorah helps azurah maintain the ja-kha'jay?

sangiin - according to what this says about sangiin, khajiit are actually NOT one of the most hedonistic races on tamriel. suuuuuuuuure, buddy.

book 5

- a look at the khajiit afterlife w/ azurah in moonshadow. - first you walk the sands, then you walk the glass, then you walk the thorns, then you have a good time, then azurah sends you back to nirn do something else (reincarnated)? but it might just be this one guy who goes off to do something ("Bring my children back"), he seems kinda special. no idea who he's supposed to be.

book 6

- all this shit about akha and alkosh and alkhan is bullshit. the fuck is akha even supposed to be? according to his name you'd assume an association with akatosh, but alkosh is akatosh, right?

akha: - this book says akha is the first cat. ahnissi says alkosh is the first cat. - "Pathfinder and the One Unmourned" - are we talking about akatosh or dagoth ur here. - "Many Paths"??? again?? what are they. knockoff walking ways? - "mated with the Winged Serpent of the East [akavir], the Dune Queen of the West [yokuda], and the Mother Mammoth of the North [atmora]. He then went to the South [pyandonea] and never returned." then alkosh shows up and says "yikes that akha guy was a little fucked huh?"

alkosh: - alkosh is "The Dragon King" and "Highmane." association with the Mane of the khajiit - "In time, the children of Akha overthrew [Alkosh] and scattered his body on the West Wind." ...??? is this a reference to the middle dawn? seems unlikely - apparently khenarthi put him back together. also seems unlikely

alkhan: - oh so the khajiit recognize alduin now too. cool.

boethra: - and boethiah i guess, why not????

mafala: - mafala has always been part of khajiit religion, tho, afaik. she is the og clan mother. - "She watches over Eight of the Many Paths, each of which a Khajiit must walk in time." ?????????? wtf are the many paths!!!!! why are there eight of them!!!!!! is this a reference to the spiral skein, or satellite realms (the spokes) of it? - forreal i think they gave up on pretense here when they started listing allies and shit. - "Her numbers are Eight and Sixteen, and these are two of her keys." this just sounds like something from the 36 lessons tbh. this doesn't sound like khajiit lore at all

book 7

lorkhaj (moon beast): - confusingly, lorkhaj as fadomai's favored son and lorkhaj as the moon beast are called by the same name, and despite this have separate entries in these books. - wonder if there's some equivalent in other myths to the moon beast. he seems pretty interesting, being "born of the dark heart of Lorkhaj" - there's UR DRA again, attached to namiira, again, who is apparently an enemy of the khajiit.

namiira: - apparently eso has rebranded namiira as like, an absolute enemy of the khajiit, with the dro-m'athra as her corrupted-khajiit minions or something? except i thought dro-m'athra originated from the moon beast? anyways, ahnissi only said that the great darkness became namiira. didn't say that was a bad thing necessarily. - also, her khajiiti ta'agra name, namiira, just so happens to be her protonym, NA MII RA.

noctra: - oh, so they do have nocturnal, as "noctra". - wait, so she's the "daughter of twilight"??? isn't twilight, idk, azura's thing???? (i feel like i've heard nocturnal be associated with twilight before, but it still makes little sense. it was probably from eso, too.) - boethra separated noctra from namiira. one could say she *stole* noctra from namiira ;) - noctra is ok by the khajiit, whereas her progenitor namiira is not. ok?

varmiina: - ok we have vaermina now too i guess. why the fuck not. - "The Lost Daughter. This spirit was not of any litter, but was born from Fadomai's fear of losing her children." - "Azurah killed this dark spirit in the Underworld" what the fuck is "the Underworld". they just be making shit up now

[?????] (no, really. that's what it says. dunno if that's a placeholder or intentional): - "[?????] A spirit of vengeance. It has no will of its own, as it was born from Azurah's grief after the death of Fadomai and Lorkhaj." ????? - "It sometimes appears in songs as a black panther, a warrior in ebony armor, or as a hidden sword." idk about "a black panther," but the "warrior in ebony armor" evokes ebonarm, who's technically still canon, and "a hidden sword" could be umbra. not sure what the connection here is.

#tes #tesblr #teslore #khajiit #elsweyr

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groundramon · 6 years

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Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here! I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing. ok. alright. cool. Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon. just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like. They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality. I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish. This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids. What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him. I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet. No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is. Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one. They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like. Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed. The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it. Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me. alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible. Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected. Was very invested during it. ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out. Where are the 02 kids. You should’ve brought them in to save the day. That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun. Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps. Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty. I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development. He’s basically an entirely different person. Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe. He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE. The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back. They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei??? Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much. It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters. Whatever. AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk? This entire time??? Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends??? Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried. Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao. God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely. Would I have still been bitter? Yes. But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise. It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults. These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining. They do not work when placed into an adult setting. Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world? I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like. Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure. It doesn’t work. Digimon Tri is basically that except real. Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience. It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that. Like! Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL. Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life. I want bad puns and emotional characters. That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be. Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars. It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better. You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead. If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series. Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS. I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri? But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish. Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies. Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit. I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons. It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments. If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it. It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept. And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up. It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon. It raises interesting questions about the timeline too. We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project? (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over) But what about Diaboromon? I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well. Could Diaboromon still be out there too? It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction. Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil? Like ? That’s a pretty important thing. The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02. And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still. It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened) MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so. God there’s just. So much wrong with Tri. I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care. There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me. I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

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overplannedbutunnamednpc · 4 years

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This week’s ask meme Monday theme is “I make my friends do math” SO start at the top and answer prime numbers until you 1) run out of characters 2) run out of prime numbers or 3) lose interest. STEM boy

but i’m still doing it. randomly rolling starting with pcs, then npcs, then stopping

1. What��s one experience your character had that made them very afraid? Isaac: so i don’t know how much i’ve said on here about what isaac’s experience in hell actually Was Like. and i think I’ve used the word “puppet” before, and I think that was what it was like. she doesn’t remember a whole lot about it, because for the most part, she just wasn’t there. if she really tried, i think she could remember specific things, but she doesn’t Like To. it’s remembering when you had no choice or control, when your body wasn’t your own and you had to smile and laugh for things with too many hands and tails and teeth. a devil full ass remade her as a tiefling, grew her horns slowly but surely through the skin of her cheeks, up and through and out her eye sockets. like. shits fucked. now that she has her brain back, shes Very afraid of the thing that did that to her.

2. What is your character’s happiest memory? Nyxi: her patron probably had a kid while she was working with her and oh my god...... thinking about her and that tiny small little baby while her patron recovered....... knowing that no she wasn’t the one to give birth to them but they’re going to be, like their siblings have been, just a much a child of hers as theyve all been. she loved all her kids, of course, but there was something special about holding that baby in the first few hours of their life, watching them grow up and helping them with that growth. she’d probably rank those first few hours among the happiest of her life, for sure.

3. What’s one skill your character really wishes they had? Sarril: hmmmm. the ability to heal, maybe? I think that’s the kind of skill he would like. there’s just something nice about like. even if you get too angry and go too far there’s still a way for you to make it right, you know?

skipping 5 bc I don’t care for it overmuch

7. Have they ever encountered someone they really wanted to kill? Zephyr: no. like does she dislike a lot of people? sure! but she’s been mostly a stay-in-the-ivory-tower kind of person, and as such hasn’t really made any enemies. rivals, sure, yeah, and I doubt she made many friends before she entered into the academy. but she doesn’t want to kill anyone. (yet.)

11. What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it? Legacy: hmmmmm. I think legacy struggled a lot with like.... Mattering, if that makes sense? I think she got her Powers rather early in life because her grandmother looked at her immediately post her spouse dying and went “yeah she’s old enough” and came by like “yo adore whats up. want some cool Spells (eventually) and also to be my grandchild” and legacy, then adore, then 9 years old, said “boy WOULD I!!!!!” and then she spent the next eight or nine years really struggling with what to do with them? she’s got spells at this point and all she’s done is work in a print shop. at some point she turned to petty crime because she was good at lying her ass off, and then eventually she got a sword and went to Adventure because she straight up didn’t know what else she wanted to do. it’s only now that she’s kind of figuring out that like. yeah she does kinda like adventuring? even more when there’s people around her.

13. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with? Zier: so like......... yes and no? zier sucks. zier sucks big time. and I think the closest thing he has at least at the points i’ve played him, are MAYBE one of his little siblings. like yes he’s meant to be making them paranoid and selfish. but also maybe he has a little sister who’s just always been a bit too soft for his family. and maybe he remembers that he’s the only boy in his family because his oldest sister killed the other one. so maybe he’s a little protective but very good at pretending like he isn’t. maybe his littlest sister knows better than to trust him even if she’s soft, so he’ll never have much more of a relationship with her than that. and maybe he wishes that it was different. and maybe he knows better.

17. How was their childhood? Did their parents treat them fairly? Did they have any really good friends? Kenny: kenny had a very nice set of parents and I think I said in game that he had a little brother but I also think he might’ve been an only child? idk. but this ask doesn’t ask that!!! his parents were very fair. maybe a little lax but only because kenny was a pretty Good Kid. and I do think he kind of sees them through rose colored glasses now that theyre gone but they were pretty good. his tragic backstory focuses on Losing them. in addition, I think he did have some really good friends! he’s a charming boy and pretty friendly, and it was a decently small village. I think he found some other folk his own age and they played together when they were young and that translated into proper friendship as they got older.

19. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them? Ecstasy: okay so. I made it semi canon that when she got the reapers hand, it may or may not have made her shoot her best friend point blank to devour her soul when it got hungry. I am canonizing this. this did happen, and it was the reason ecstasy started taking rogue levels instead of fighter levels. she like. got back to using guns? but she handed over her hugely cursed but also HUGELY powerful gun to her fuckbuddy’s friend without much of a fight, I’ll tell you that much.

23. Does your character know any languages apart from their native language? What one would they like to learn? Glade: lemme look at his character sheet. okay he only knows common and orcish. he uses common a lot more than he uses orcish, but orcish was his first language and now that he has red he uses it a lot more, trying to have her pick it up as a language too. and this is a predictable answer but still true: if he had much time to learn a language, he’d learn infernal. he knows a few words because he’s married to a tiefling, but he doesn’t have the bloodline-given understanding of the language like they do and he would Like To Know What His Wife And Two Year Old Are Giggling About, Please.

29. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be? Endurance: so. like. I don’t know if endurance would change anything about herself??? actually no she would. she would love it if she were more decisive. like, relentless decided to fall and decided to claw her way back to amaunator’s side, and endurance like. isn’t like that at all. I think a lot of her regrets are still tied up in “should I have turned lent into the crownsguard” and because of the violence that happened, she shouldn’t have. but like. she REALLY hates how unsure she is about the circumstances surrounding it, you know? she didn’t heal her, she didn’t really try and stop it until it was too late, and she hasn’t accepted that she was passive in those circumstances. at least if she were more decisive, she thinks she would have already made peace with the things she did pre and post lent’s fall.

31. How patient is your character with others? Do they find it easy to handle people that try and bug them, or hard? Iris: very patient. she’s a princess and also deals with motherfuckers unlimited Literally Constantly. she’s SO patient. however. she also takes no shit. if someone is trying to bug her, then she will not attempt to deal with it. her ability to have Diplomacy means that she can rather easily and relatively politely just go “you are not having this conversation with me in a respectful manner. if you can stop deliberately prodding me for a reaction, we can continue with what we are discussing. if you cannot or refuse to respect me and my time here with you, then I am stopping the conversation here. which option would you like?”

skipping 37 as well

41. Where do they live? What is that place like, do they enjoy living there? Kiya: kiya likes highgrasp! she probably likes it more than any other place she’s lived. it’s a nice city, it’s a clean city, she likes the ocean, and she likes the job she got there. not much to complain about!

43. What are they like when they’re drunk? Don’t be a prude and tell me they’ve never been smashed before. Coriander: zephyr and coriander are the Same when drunk. Loud and Intelligent. coriander also may be a Horny drunk but that may be because she just likes talking about her spouse and thinks (rightly so) that they are Sexy. she will get on her construct to be eight feet taller than most opponents and she will Debate them about magical theory whether they want to be a part of the conversation or not. Fucka You.

#isaac #nyxi #sarril #zephyr #legacy #zier #kenny #ecstasy #glade #endurance #iris #coriander #BIG boy #misscleverlesbian #human kiya

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