#yes I watched too much animal planet can you tell

[bugcatcherwill]

Wait I just read the recent chapter….and I feel like the reason link laughed is he was in kobb’s position once with going to the bathroom in rito village.

Now it makes you think…how does each race in hyrule do hygiene like bathrooms or just daily hygiene?

For monsters it seems they rather do business in a bush, and daily hygiene varies depending on the monster’s race or subspecies (like elemental users)

Like: does rezek ever wash it and ashen’s cloak/robes? Same goes for sledge, kobb and their hinox friend’s loin cloths like do they wash them? Does zayl need to sunbathe to helps it’s camouflage ability or empty out/fill up its ‘spit’ pouch (how I imagine lizalfos can spit out of water)

Or for not main cast: lynels take a hour or 2 to groom their horse lower half’s and not to mention their manes

Of corse zora, rito and gorons must have special hygiene needs too, because for gerudo and hylian and sheikah (and yiga) hygiene is the same bathrooms or showering, washing clothes, etc.

The way I see it is that because monsters seem to have a more nomadic lifestyle based on their camps of BoTW/ToTK, they'd have a policy of "we don't know how long we're gonna be here, so do your business far from camp".

Honestly I've kinda been leaving out general daily habits/hygiene of the monsters because I know it'd probably be a snoozefest for most people, and it's one of those "assume they're maintaining basic hygiene" moments of writing a world, much like you don't have to write when characters take a piss because it's just assumed they find time to in-between scenes. It's like how it took me 57 chapters to mention Kobb going to the bathroom and I only really did it for a funny little gag lmao.

But anyways here's my lore-thoughts on it because now I'm in worldbuilding brainrot:

Bokoblins/Moblins/Hinoxes are similar to boars' tusks in that their large front teeth are constantly growing and they need to either file them down or have a diet that involves grinding down the teeth enough. Also like pigs/boars they're very sanitary and quite hygienic - even while under the Malice. However, because they have the ability to sweat unlike pigs they have much higher stamina akin to the human Hylians and don't need to rely on the classic mudbath to cool down. Although in lieu of a river to wash in, they may resort to sand or fine dirt which would also help keep away ticks since they're seldom fully clothed.

Lizalfos have a sort of "hydration sack" in their bodies that's connected from a hole under their tongue down to their stomach. So when they spit they're essentially spewing stored-up water mixed with stomach acid - which is why it hurts Link when he gets hit by it. It also acts as a reserve water supply that they can use to cool their body down when it gets too hot - basically a cold-blooded creature brute-forcing a sweating system which makes Lizalfos much hardier than ordinary reptiles. Their camo system is also just similar to chameleons except because they're a sentient species they're aware they can use it to blend in - unlike chameleons who just use it to convey mood.

Wizzrobe are tricky for this, due to being magical beings rather than biological, but how I imagine it is that if a Wizzrobe doesn't wash their robe out for long enough, they begin to have a lingering smell of their specific branch of magic. Like Rezek's cloak, for instance, would smell like ozone. While an Ice Wizzrobe would smell of an earthy frost, and a Fire Wizzrobe like smoldering charcoal.

And honestly the reason Lynel's haven't taken over all of Hyrule is because they keep getting their manes matted kjhlasdfjh

Honestly this is a great exercise to think about when I eventually get into post-BoTW because it'll be really interesting writing about how all the monster races navigate having to re-learn all this daily maintenance that the Malice would just do for them.

Also Rito probably take dust baths now that I think about it...

[unstable-samurai]

Until You're Mine (Jealous Girlfriend) - smut

Momo x Male Reader

Word Count: 4k

Tags: toxic relationship, jealous girlfriend, non-linear story, possessive girlfriend, first sex, penetration, boobjob, facial

She was awake when he arrived. She heard the door latch turn twice as it was unlocked. There were always two turns, fast and firm. Y/N saw her lying on the couch, watching another animated movie. It was the kind of movie she looked for when she really needed to be distracted, her escape valve or something, so seeing her there in front of the TV close to midnight (it was much later than that, but he had no idea), turned on an emergency light in his mind.

Normally he was the owl of that house.

“Hey baby, why’re you still awake?” he asked. “I said you didn’t have to wait for me.”

“I just felt like watching a Studio Ghibli film. Only that.” She explained without looking at him.

No fucking way it was just that. She was frowning. One of those moments where Momo turned into a bomb and it was up to Y/N to disarm it without it exploding. The problem was that this was an impossible task to do, any wire he cut would result in an explosion. And that was the last thing he wanted. His head was already a battlefield in itself. That damn company party had exhausted his social battery, which wasn’t much anyway. Y/N didn’t have the courage to provoke an aerial bombardment that night.

He sat on the left end of the sofa, Momo didn't mind moving his legs so he could have more space.

"OK. Is the film already close to the end? I can watch it with you.”

“Did you have fun there?” she asked.

"Yes. Was cool."

“You’re watching the movie, I don’t want to disturb you. In the morning I’ll tell you everything.”

"Just that?

"Yes..."

"No details?" she questioned him quite insistently.

Y/N had his head focused on the bath he was going to take in a while and how he was going to sink his head into the pillow. No more plastic masks, fake laughs, shallow people, please.

She paused the movie.

“What a ridiculous excuse. It sounds like you were trying to hide the things that happened at the party.”

“No, it doesn’t sound…” He was almost sure of it.

“Yes it does, you bastard.”

“It wasn’t even a party. We were all among work colleagues.”

“I've been to enough parties to know that it was YES a party. Loud music, drinks, pool, snacks. The complete package.”

“It’s a damn modern company, okay? They please the employees and pretend to be cool so that we forget the slavery we are subjected to on a daily basis. You kids had fun on Saturday and you’ll work overtime on Monday, okay?”

“Wait, I made a mistake. In fact: VIP package. They even hired prostitutes. Five star service.”

“Are you high or what?”

He was too tired to read the signs.

“I saw the way she kept touching you. The giggles... As if you were the funniest clown on the planet and she was a fucking hyena.”

Y/N abruptly stood up from the couch. He had finally understood everything. The last spark of his neurons, probably.

“There were no prostitutes. And I wasn't chatting up with any girls.”

"Oh, really?" She stood up too. “Let me refresh your memory, dear: short black hair, horse smile, lilac dress, can't stand alone unless she's supported by a man, small tits... Seriously, I don't know why she decided to wear that dress with cleavage if there was nothing there to show. Someone should tell her the truth. So, does this remind you of anyone, my love?”

The fucking bomb exploded in his hand.

“That was Rachel, a friend from work. How the hell did you know what was going on at the party?”

Momo laughed sadistically. Her wickedly beautiful eyes looked at him with intensity as she asked:

“Are you afraid?”

"No. I didn't do anything wrong to get scared. Did someone record me at the party?”

"Yes. And it wasn't just that. I also watch the stories of those who were at the party and you appeared in some of them in the corners. I saw everything.”

‡

Here's a little overview of this relationship: A year and a half of dating. They met through mutual friends and the first deep contact was delayed, but when it happened it ended up becoming a path of no return. Y/N avoided her as much as he could, not in a way that would be noticeable and make him seem rude. But we were talking about an incredibly beautiful woman, aware of her attractiveness and unfettered by modesty. She was with a group of eight other beautiful and popular girls. Yes, she was elite. High caliber, my friend. Well, he was... quiet, an avid reader, calm and sometimes melancholic, but he loved being with his friends and enjoying them on the weekends, respecting his limits, of course. When he saw Momo for the first time he cowardly ignored her. She looks stunning in front of his eyes, wearing a short denim skirt, a baby tee that leaves her sculpted abs on display and her hair flowing in the wind as she dances. There was no way to predict that the plan would backfire; by not noticing her, Y/N became one of the few guys who didn't try to flirt with her. Apathetic guy, but handsome enough to take risks, the little boy who only swims in the shallow end, a plastic armor he forced himself to wear.

The reason? Momo didn't know, but she wanted to find out.

On one of the many night outs where they bumped into each other, Momo skillfully simulated an intimacy that clearly didn't exist between them, talking to Y/N closely, fake accidental touches, and killer eye contact. Abruptly, intimacy between them was forged and evolved in a short space of time. After a while it was no longer strange when they were among friends and Momo sat on his lap, or when she felt tired and rested her head on his shoulder. And Y/N could play hard to get, but he loved the attention he got from Momo, the controversial “bad bitch” (as some girls who didn't like Momo called her), the most attractive girl he knew was always glued to him, and the sexual chemistry that grew over time intoxicated his ego. Being with her made him feel good and more confident and also… shit, she was more than a superficial person or 'just another one of those teasing girls' like a lot of guys used to think. She had a unique way, attitude and things to say too.

‡

“Were you acting like a stalker all night? Seriously, watching stories of other people trying to see me from the corners is a fucking weird thing.”

“And you've been acting like you don't have a girlfriend all night? I almost called Jihyo to drive me to this party to say a few things to that bitch. But I’m not that kind of girlfriend.”

“What is the reason we are arguing? This shit doesn't make sense. I'm exhausted..."

“Have you forgotten your promise? You told me you would arrive early...”

“I didn’t look at the time when I was there. I thought it was still early when I was leaving the party.”

A cynical laugh escaped Momo's mouth.

“You didn't even bother to look at your fucking cellphone to check the time. What is your problem?"

Y/N sighed. He should have already known that going to this party wouldn't be a good idea.

“You know I only went to the party to establish some contacts with the other branch. The damn job forces me to maintain a good relationship with everyone.”

"Poor boy! Does it also force you to talk to sluts?”

"This again?!”

“A little bird told me you were too close to each other on the couch.”

“Who was this damn person?”

“Why blow the heroine’s cover? Maybe she’ll be there again at the next parties.”

“Would you like it if I hired someone to follow you around?”

"Go ahead. I have nothing to hide, because I have consideration and respect for you, asshole!”

“According to you, I cheated you just by sitting on a couch talking to a co-worker. A colleague who can help me move up in the company as she has just been promoted.”

“Apparently it’s not just at work where she likes to be promoted.”

"What do you want from me?" he asked, feeling defeated.

"You know what I want."

“Honestly, I don't know. God must be punishing me for some sin I committed, that’s the only explanation.”

“Make me your girlfriend or your tormentor. You decide." She took a step forward. “You know I could be with anyone. But I'm with you ‘cause I love you, idiot.”

If only there wasn't something genuine about it all.

‡

Being alone with her knocking down topic after topic like dominoes was so fucking enjoyable, the way she laughed, the way she listened to him (Momo didn't interrupt him even during the long pauses he took when he needed to organize his line of reasoning, a mere peculiarity of his but which never went under her radar), the way she could be incredibly silly at times and, even without sharing many common interests, Momo liked having him explain things that were previously uninteresting to her. This attention he received was blinding and addictive. Growing up in a harmful and neglectful home, neediness was his compass and his weakness. But he never showed signs. Y/N was good at disguising it... He thought so.

Their first sex was an unforgettable moment, a path of no return, in the same way that a criminal remembers the moment of the crime that sentenced him to prison. It occurred when they were on a camping trip, good friends gathered, each to their own tent, campfire, marshmallows, snacks, stupid horror stories, and wine. One of the few moments where he felt slightly intimidated around her, as he felt Momo watching him like a predator, and after each glass of wine she became more and more intoxicated, grabbing Y/N from behind and wrapping her arms around him. “It’s very cold here” she whispered in his ear. And Y/N couldn't tell if it was the wind or Momo's velvety voice so close to him that made him shiver.

The hours passed incredibly quickly, eventually everyone retreated to their tents, and eventually there was a slow cessation of the noises of people, finally leaving only the cold whistle of the wind, the rustle of leaves in the trees that surrounded the hill where they were camped and the symphony of insects orchestrated by crickets and cicadas.

He heard sneaky footsteps. It was certainly someone who needed to take a piss and didn't want to wake the others. But the footsteps got louder and louder until he noticed that someone was actually coming to his tent, stopping in front of the entrance. The flash on his cell phone was on (he was reading a book and the damn camp lamp was emitting a horrible orange light), so he pointed the light at the entrance of the tent and saw a very familiar silhouette.

“It’s me, Momo. Let me in!" she whispered. "Quickly!"

Y/N lowered the zipper, opening the way for her.

“What are you doing up?” he asked.

“I was sleepless so I decided to come and check on you.”

"I am well thanks."

She was wearing comfortable clothes. Striped pajama pants, a sweatshirt that was too big on her and her hair loose and messy. Y/N noticed that Momo had removed her makeup. It was the first time he had seen her like that.

"What are you reading?" Momo asked as she sat down.

“Tropic of Cancer, by Henry Miller.”

"Cool! What is it about?!"

How the hell was he going to explain this?

“About a guy living in Paris.”

"It seems good. Read a chapter to me.”

"How old are you?"

“Don’t be annoying. Let's do it like this: I point the cell phone's flash at the book and you hold it while you read to me. This way we can read lying down.”

Hard to refuse, hard to say 'no' to her.

‡

“You know I love you too, Momori.” he said

Momo was wearing his long-sleeved shirt, she loved that shirt and, truth be told, it looked incredibly good on her. The legs so sensually exposed... Was that still a discussion?

“Sometimes you make me doubt this love, baby. Do you like making me look crazy? I swear to God you love seeing me jealous. When I get like this, does it make you horny?”

“No” he lied to one of the questions.

“You know how I am, Y/N.” One more step forward. She could touch him if she wanted. “And I only ask one thing: don’t talk to other girls. We establish a limit and then cross it, what is the purpose?”

Now closer he could smell her, her body that was warmed by the blanket. Nipples hardened through the fabric of her clothing.

“You look so beautiful...” he blurted out of her mouth.

“But I don’t think I’m beautiful enough for you since you try to be with other girls when I’m not around.”

"Is not true. I only have eyes for you, Momori.”

With a decisive gesture she grabbed Y/N by the collar of his social shirt. A noise escaped his mouth. Slowly she ordered:

“Say you are mine. Say you belong to me.”

‡

He felt her head moving on his chest, he thought she was just looking for a comfortable position, until he was surprised by a kiss on the neck. And another one. And another, and they were getting more and more intense.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he lowered the book, the air escaping from her mouth.

“This book is really interesting and even put me in the mood to do something more fun.”

"What are you talking about?"

He had his hands pressed into Momo's arms, but he made no real effort to push her away.

“I know what you think about me. I know what you want from me. Don’t try to hide it now.” Her voice breathy and wavering. “I want to fuck you so bad, fuck!”

"Here?"

"Now!”

Y/N turned Momo around, placing her back on the floor and then getting on top of her.

“Momo…” His head was a hurricane. Was this really happening? “I've imagined the two of us doing this, but I never thought it could actually happen.”

There was a pause that was filled by a kiss.

“I don’t think you know how hot you are. Other girls were also eyeing you, so I decided to act quickly.”

Y/N lifted Momo's sweatshirt, and was able to appreciate and touch her abs for the first time. Kissing her abdomen was like an achievement, she knew how beautiful it was, that's why she never made a point of hiding it. The soft, slightly sweaty skin met his lips in a mix of sensations.

He lifted her sweatshirt a little more, exposing her juicy boobs. They were big, he knew that, but the first glimpse paralyzed him for an instant, he was amazed, and his hand filled with desire wasted no time in grabbing one of the tits while his mouth sucked the other..

“Oh, Y/N” she moaned.

The cell phone's flashlight went out as they rolled from side to side in the camping tent. Surrounded by the weak orange light of the camp lantern, the senses now seemed more heightened, the touches more intense and brazen, the breathing more labored and an uncontrollable lust, noticeable in several ways, such as Momo's pussy that wet his fingers when he touched her down there.

‡

“I belong to you” he declared. “Is that what you wanted to hear? I am only yours, Momori.”

She smiled satisfied.

"Sit down!" she exclaimed harshly, and pushed him onto the couch. Momo certainly knew how to impose herself when she wanted, the mechanism of submitting him to her will through horny never failed. Sitting on his lap, she said: “You like to make me suffer, you know that? You like having your girlfriend mad so she can have hard sex with you and get you back on track. So depraved, baby!”

It was partly true, although he wasn't consciously acting to make her jealous. The problem was that this wasn't a difficult task, the girl was possessive as hell, so the options fluctuated between becoming a puppy on a leash or floating on the waves of a tide that could occasionally get... Aggressive.

"Do not say that. I don’t like making you feel bad.”

Momo kissed him, she felt Y/N getting excited down there.

“And yet you hurt me.”

He couldn't refute it, so her tongue had another use; warm and wet, she played with Momo's tongue. She sighed when he lightly bit her lower lip, slowly removing the pressure, enjoying her taste like a professional taster.

“It was never my intention,” he said. “Your jealousy is sick.”

“Living with you is hell, you know that?” she revealed. “But you always make me feel so surrendered." Momo slowly touched her nose to Y/N's. She whispered: "It’s a fucking hell, baby.”

Instead of responding, he decided to dedicate a series of kisses to her neck. Momo loved it, it was her weakness. She smiled while letting out small moans of satisfaction.

Momo stroked his dick and under the fabric of his underwear and pants he was already completely hard, waiting for her. She rubbed her hand on his dick eagerly while he felt her breasts and left hickey marks on her neck.

“Oh baby, I want your cock in my pussy so bad!”

‡

He covered her mouth with his hand while he penetrated her deeply. The friends' camping tents were close to Y/N's, and Momo was moaning loudly, so it wouldn't be difficult to hear her in the silence of the night.

“Shhh! You can’t make noise like that!” he said breathlessly.

“It’s fucking hard. Your dick is really big.”

At one point she crossed her legs around Y/N's waist and he could feel her pussy getting tighter and wetter. Immediately Y/N laid his body under hers, penetrating her with force, feeling her pussy swallow his cock eager for pleasure. She moaned loudly, Y/N sucked on her tongue in an attempt to suppress some of the noise, Momo's eyes rolling back in pleasure as her legs tightened around him, pulling him deeper, as if she could never have him inside enough. Each thrust was an explosion of raw sensation, her insides wetting his cock urgently as he fucked her with wild love, each movement driven by desire that had been postponed for too long.

“Lie on your side!” Y/N asked.

He watched her with burning lust, his eyes fixed on her pert ass, eager to possess her in a different way. With one quick movement, he positioned himself behind her, his cock pulsing with anticipation as he slid in, feeling enveloped by the warm wetness of her wet pussy. He gripped Momo tightly, his hands marking her skin as he fucked her sideways, each thrust sending waves of electric pleasure throughout her body. Momo's moans filled the air, soft and sweet, mixing with the sounds of the wet friction his dick made as it slid inside her. All the touches, the intimate conversations, the looks that met and lost each other when they were in the circle of friends, the jealousy they hid from each other when one of them was talking to someone else, all these things led them to this moment , and now they assumed this feeling… making love.

Momo showed some of her talent when she rode his dick with her back to him, Y/N's body rippling with desire as she rode him with full force. Her hips moved with an erotic cadence, his cock disappearing inside her with each thrust as if he were plunging into a warm ocean. He squeezed Momo's fat ass, guiding her movements as she gave herself over to the frenzy of sex, her moans intensifying with each thrust – fuck if anyone would hear. The tension between them was palpable, the air in the tent stifling as they neared their climax. And then, finally, Momo squirted, her body shaking with the intensity of her orgasm, as Y/N watched her in wonder in the light of the camp lantern, her silhouette writhing with pleasure, so perfect, so sensual that he could fill her of cum at that moment.

Something he didn't do.

Things happened so fast that Y/N didn't have time to put on a condom. Well, truth be told, he DID NOT have a condom in his tent (not the kind of thing you think about taking on a camping trip with friends when you're a single guy).

“Cum for me, baby” she asked, her voice full of lust. “Where do you want to cum?”

“On your tits.”

It was one of Y/N's fantasies, it usually came to his mind when he saw Momo with cleavage. Now it all seemed so intentional...

Y/N stood on top of Momo, his desire burning so strong he could barely think straight. With shaking hands, he grabbed Momo's massive boobs, feeling his hard-on grow as he squeezed them tightly. Y/N wanted to feel every inch of that soft flesh surrounding his thick cock, he wanted to sink into that delicious sensation until he lost his mind. And then, without further hesitation, he began to move frantically, sliding his hard cock between Momo's breasts with great desire. Loud moans echoed through the tent as he gave in to the pleasure of that sensation, losing himself in the sensation of heat and pressure.

“You gonna cum for me, huh?” she asked between moans, making a point of maintaining latent eye contact while smiling naughty.

“Yeah, I'm gonna cum for you, baby! You're gonna make me cum, Momo.”

“please please, cum for me!! Yeah! Cum for your naughty babygirl...” she begged, hot as fuck, while biting her lower lip like a horny bitch.

And when Y/N finally reached the edge he let out a primal groan, his orgasm exploding in a hot shot over Momo's boobs and face. She looked so beautiful like that in the light of the camp lamp. Y/N brushed her face with his dick, making a nice mess on that adorable little face, and she smiled while this happened, Momo smiled until he finished his art, she finished the job by licking what was left on the head of his dick.

Uninhibited from any shyness, thanks to the endorphins his brain had released, he smiled at her, finding her the most beautiful woman in the world, and into Momo's precious eyes, Y/N confessed: 'I wanna love you.’

‡

It's common to look for culprits in a dysfunctional relationship, who manipulates who, the prisoner and the jailer and all that old story. It's hard to admit that sometimes there is a dark pleasure in predicting events, returning to the same place that is your refuge and your sentence. Most people shoot at "emotional dependence", but few dare to target "connivance". Y/N felt like he was part of the second option. Repeat the fucking pattern, see the wheel spin in the same direction, the same trip as before. It's your pit of lies and acceptance, man, you smell the stench and yet you insist on moving forward, it's not much different than a dog licking its own vomit. At the end of the day, no one will tell you that you deserve better.

If you really deserve it.

"I remember what you said to me that night in the camping tent." She whispered, lying under his chest. "When we had sex for the first time. 'I wanna love you'. That's what you said. Your voice was so sweet and calm. I think that's when I realized that my feelings for you were really special."

The two were snuggled in bed, protected from the cold by the blankets, completely naked after having sex. This was always how fights ended, and the question that arose was: what's the next thing, now? An apology? Unfounded promises about how to improve as a person? Affectionate words to dissolve what was said during the fight? It was a mystery box.

"Those were the words? I honestly don't remember the exact words clearly."

"That's exactly what you told me. I slept with you in the camping tent feeling very happy."

"I was happy to be with you too."

"But at that time I didn't realize that you were actually still trying to fall in love with me. You wanted to love me, but you didn't really love me yet."

"I was a little confused at that time."

"What now? Are you still trying to love me?"

"I love you, Momori. but at the same time... I don't think we work together.”

"We agreed to it then. And honestly, does it matter?"

"I don't know. I feel like it doesn't matter anymore."

"Yeah! And look, we're not the only couple to go through problems like this. We're not alone in this, baby. Forget that Hollywood bullshit about perfect couples. It's not real. It's okay for me to stay like this, as long as we stay together."

"We always fix things."

"Making love is a great way to solve problems. That's our formula."

"Come here, my love" he said.

A/N: sorry for any grammar errors 🖖

[ronearoundblindly]

Forgive me if I sent this ask before... I don't remember if I did 😅 but if not just know that I thought about sending it in since you started this series 🙈

For who would:

If you just hand them your baby niece or nephew or a baby you're watching for a friend (just any baby lol) who would hand it right back to you, silently hold it with a sheer look of panic till you come back and take it or be a natural and not give it back to you at all?

I love this bit of fluff and silliness for a Sunday; excellent question!

James Mace

He asks a lot of questions about what needs done or should be done. Is it changing time? How much head support should he provide? Is this a DND (do not disturb, D&D is for his own kiddos) baby ready for a nap? Is this play time? Should he be engaging the baby or keeping up conversation with the group?

Now, as to whether or not having the baby in his arms gives him any ideas: not any more than he's already had. You two have plans, you've talked about this and are on the same page, so his interactions right then have to do with that baby at that moment. He doesn't necessarily have stronger feelings when handling other people's children.

Curtis Everett

Curtis does not trust himself around babies especially. He goes extremely stiff and extremely quiet. He stares intensely. He will not do anything unless you tell him to do something with the baby. Even then he is not truly comfortable.

Babies bring up a lot of memories and emotions for him, and theoretically he knows he isn't in the same place/headspace as when he was younger, he knows babies aren't in as much danger as the old days, but he still gets so overwhelmed by it.

Yes, Curtis is even like this with his own children. He counts the days until his child is old enough to not be considered a 'baby' anymore. In fact, Curtis enjoys the memory of their infancy, pictures and videos, etc, more than he can enjoy being with them as infants.

Jimmy Dobyne

Honestly, a total natural. Small towns and rural areas mean closer-knit families, neighbors, and friends. They all help each other out. A bunch of kids shuffle around to spend afternoons here or Saturdays there. Babies get passed around to let parents get errands done or go on dates. It's not a big deal; it's just a way of life.

At this point, Jimmy has cleaned up after and fed a dozen different species of 'babies.' He's fine with it. He doesn't play much though, not with babies. Jimmy prefers when they're old enough to run around for catch or sports, etc. That's more his wheelhouse.

Johnny Storm

Fucking terrified to handle babies but LOVES entertaining them. Will do absolutely anything to make that baby laugh. To a fault sometimes because Johnny will get so animated he knocks shit over in the house or wherever you two are.

You give him credit for trying though.

Jake Jensen

Sits that baby up on his lap and continues to watch whatever screen he's focused on.

Jake isn't necessarily bad with babies, but he prefers to continue to enjoy the more adult entertainment/interactions around him. Like Jimmy, he will be more than hands-on excited once that baby can be active with their own interests (sports or otherwise) because he will participate and support 100%. Babies are just a bit too floppy and unreadable for him.

Lloyd Hansen

Thrilled to let those tiny baby fingers try to hold the grip of his switchblade. Adores how fucking angry the parents (or you) get when he plays with knives around them or has them play with the knives. Lloyd secretly finds baby facial reactions to be the funniest things on the planet--but, no, he doesn't actually like babies.

Ari Levinson

Ari is a playful papa through and through. Has more than once strapped that carrier to his chest and wondered around with someone's kiddo for whole parties. Endlessly entertained and entertaining when it comes to babies.

However, Ari really, really doesn't like when babies get grabby and pull at his hair. That shit hurts, and he hates it. Also he's oddly squeamish about spit-up and/or vomit. Technically, he is not a fan of diaper duty, like very, very, very not a fan.

Ransom Drysdale

The absolute fuck are you handing him a baby for??? Bitch, are you insane?! Be real. Seriously. Just don't.

There isn't even much improvement in this behavior when it's Ran's own child. Not a fan of the 'baby' stage, this one.

Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Lumping these two together because they do exactly the same things. Steve and Bucky physically treat female and male babies differently; they are sweet and cooing with girls, and then they talk about or mimic sports things with boys. They don't mean to be presumptive in this behavior, just do it be default.

Neither is afraid to roll their sleeves up and help with feeding or changing. They'll give equal attention to the baby and the group around you. They will both happily sit/stand/walk around with a napping baby in their arms--although they aren't thrilled to be unable to help with other stuff while they have no available hands.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...? Asks List; Ko-Fi]

@supraveng @1950schick @patzammit @whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@yiiiikesmish @ashesofblackroses

@brandycranby @buckysprettybaby @ellethespaceunicorn @late-to-the-party-81

@bigtreefest @mistressmkay @astheskycries 

@rogersbarber @blogbog710

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Man vs Machine

Official inquire #37914 Subject: Destruction of military outpost Theta Prime Present: Military Commander Cinth Nevar Imperial Investigator Prim Tud Private Dil Lunk *Recording begins*

Prim: All requested parties are here, so we shall begin with the inquiry.

Cinth: I want this on record that this entire proceeding is pointless.

Prim: The Emperor and senate disagree.

Dil: Excuse me sirs, but why am I here?

Prim: You are the only surviving soldier who was on duty patrolling the perimeter of the base.

Prim: Your report for the night is critical to my investigation.

Dil: I’m not sure how much help I can be; we only patrolled the interior of the base.

*Sound of typing stopping*

Prim: What do you mean by that?

Dil: Well the security system monitored the outside of the base and us live soldiers patrolled the inside.

Prim: That seems like a critical hole in security.

Cinth: Not at all.

Cinth: The system was designed to spot any hostile life forms and either neutralizes them or, in the case of wildlife, drive them away from the base.

Prim: And has this system been used in other bases before your command?

Cinth: It has not.

Prim: Why not?

Cinth: The technology is still in the prototype phase and was implemented on my base as the first field test.

Cinth: I went over the reports myself daily and deemed it effective enough to redeploy my soldiers to inside the base.

Prim: You went over all the reports?

Cinth: I just said that I did.

Prim: And there were no discrepancies at all?

Cinth: None.

Prim: Interesting.

Prim: We recently obtained the bases black box from the wreckage of the base.

Dil: That’s impressive given the explosion that wiped out the base.

Prim: They are built to withstand much worse.

Prim: When we went through the logs we found several entries in the monitoring system we were hoping you could explain to us.

*Sounds of a holographic projector being powered on*

Prim: This is two nights before the explosion at the base from monitor-

Cinth: 39-75N; I can tell from the forest in the background.

Prim: Correct.

Prim: The video is time stamped at roughly midnight for the planet; please watch closely and observe.

*Holographic projections speeds up through time showcasing the area as Cinth and Dil watch until the sun rises.*

Cinth: I see nothing out of the ordinary.

Prim: You don’t?

Prim: What about here?

*Holographic projection rewinds too shortly after midnight and the trio see a shadowy figure slowly walk across the screen.*

Prim: Can you explain that?

Cinth: That is a Wrath Hog, a native animal species in the area.

Dil: We saw a couple dozen of them at a time when the base was being built, then they just stopped coming by when the foot traffic increased.

Prim: *Rubs bridge of long nose*

Prim: That is not a “Wrath Hog”, that is a human soldier hunched over wearing the pelt of one.

Cinth: Impossible!

Cinth: The monitor would have detected that and alerted the base!

Prim: Computer, enhance image in grid 34x67 and increase light levels.

*Computer enhances image and increases brightness to reveal better image*

Dil: By the gods it really is a human.

Prim: Are you sure?

Dil: *Points at back legs* Those are human military boots. A friend of mine once took a pair as a trophy.

Prim: Why then did the machines not alert the base?

Prim: How was a lowly private able to identify an enemy combatant while a state of the art computer system could not?

Cinth: I do not know.

Prim: It couldn’t possibly be that they were programmed only to register the standard appearance of a human; would it?

Cinth: I am not a tech smith.

Prim: But you said that you went over there reports every day?

Cinth: I do not need you to remind me of what I said, bureaucrat.

Prim: *Turns to Dil* You said you had seen these boots before?

Dil: Yes sir.

Prim: And had you been patrolling the exterior of the base do you think you would have seen their footprints?

Dil: They are very distinctive sir, so yes.

Prim: Hmmm.

*More typing*

Prim: This was taken at the same time the following night.

*Darkness outside the base but the three can see a large shadowy figure moving again*

Cinth: That’s no native animal.

Prim: No.

Prim: That is a human holding a pair of leafy branches in their arms and slowly walking across the field.

Cinth: What!?

*Computer enhances image to reveal a human in brown and green war paint holding two large branches and a strange satchel strapped to their back*

Cinth: There must have been a failure in the system!

Cinth: That human is standing upright like any other human.

Prim: But because of the branches the system mistook them for plant life and left them alone.

Cinth: This is all-

Prim: And this was taken the night of the explosion itself, same time of day as the previous videos.

*Video shows a square box slowly inching its way across the open field and making it to the perimeter wall*

Cinth: *groans*

Dil: That looks like a packing container we get supplies in.

Prim: Which is why the system mislabeled it “lost cargo”, sent a report to the quarter master, and ignored it for the rest of the night.

Cinth: *Says nothing*

Dil: I don’t understand why they would sneak into the base like this.

Prim: From our spies in the human league we learned that this tactic was used to further bypass the system.

Prim: The humans operated under the assumption that each encounter would be recorded and used for future reference, and that any discrepancies from the original encounter would trigger an alert.

Prim: By bypassing the system in so many different methods they ensured each subterfuge was logged as the original encounter and would have nothing to reference.

Prim: As to why they did this repeatedly they carried a large amount of explosives across each night and placed them throughout the base.

Cinth: This shows that the prototype system is a complete failure.

Prim: A failure that will cost you millions of credits.

Cinth: I do not follot.

Prim: We know you lobbied for that system to be installed and that you are a controlling shareholder of the technomats who create it.

Cinth: That is just-

Prim: As for you private Dil we have determined that as the sole remaining patroller of the base you will be held accountable for failing to defend it properly.

Dil: But I didn’t know!

Cinth: This will never hold up in the courts!

Prim: Quite right, which is why I was chosen to handle this matter.

*Sound of gun being cocked and fired twice*

*Two loud thuds hit the floor*

Prim: This completes inquire #37914.

Prim: Recommendation is that all perimeter algorithms and software currently being used for security purposes be retrofitted with new configurations or deactivated and replaced for living soldiers.

Prim: End recording. ( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)    

[ryukyuin]

Heyy😭 Idk if this is dumb but idk if you do fanfics! If you do can you do Yandere shaiapouf x reader headcanons! I am a fem but the reader can ofc be gender neutral:3

I DO HELLOOO !! Yandere Shaiapouf is a very silly concept to be because just... ??? Is it just me or is he really barely toeing the line. For the other ants it seemed moreso "devotion" but just. Pouf. POUF... sighhs.

assume pre-established relationship btw this man has to go through all six stages of grief before he accepts he loves a STINKY HUYMAN... this just isn't the place to write allat

WARNINGS: Mentions of blood, "yandere" behaviors/tendencies, unhealthy mindsets, dead animals (non-graphic), Shaiapouf idolizing violence/depictions of him wanting to fucking maul people GFHDSAH

HIS LOVE LANGUAGE IS ACTS OF SERVICE!! despite all the flowery bullshit he might say later on n the relationship, you'll always know how he's really feeling by his body language and what he goes through with.

there's so little shaiapouf content that its soooo fun to just make up stuff for him. little habits and ticks and sounds he makes as he goes about his day....

have you heard abt the orange cracker butterfly? you will now (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01hjJ4EhWtI)

that shit sounds like a TASER and they make that noise to tell other male butterflies to fuck off from their territory.

.........yes shaiapouf makes irritated taser sounds in public. yes you've almost gotten kicked out of places because workers think you're threatening patrons with a taser.

peppering his face in kisses until he calms down....... he starts warbling and chittering and his pupils dilate and he melts. three bajillion s/o points if you cusp his face in your hands and just rest your forehead against his afterward.

i think he'd give you dead animals as gifts, especially if you were too skinny for his liking. youre his monarch, his ruler, his sovereign, of course he'd find the best of the best for you! it's okay if you don't know how to skin them, he can take care of the gore himself, blood shouldn't grace your hands!

the level of dejected he looks when you turn him down is unfair in every sense of the word. you could have kicked a box of puppies and he would have looked less hurt. he probably would have white-knighted for you and said the puppies deserved it, actually

if blood DID grace your hands however,,,, god,,,,,,,,

him grabbing your arm, pressing kisses to the inside of your bloody wrist before lapping up every trace of red marring your skin......

DO NOT ASK ME ABT HOW HE'D BE DURING YOUR CYCLE!!!!! THE WORLD ISN'T READY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /silly /nsrs

THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS THIGHHSS MMMMMFF.... i think its less about him being a thighs man and moreso that he'd enjoy just resting his head there. it doesn't matter how much shorter you are than him, he'd still contrort himself just to rest his head there as your hand cards through his hair......

okay time for the actual yandere headcanons, you didn't think he could just be cute and kissable and slutty, did you 🤨🤨🤨🤨

he REALLY likes pressing himself as close as possible to you, to watch the way you squirm in the iron shackle of his grip before he lets you go

because don't get it wrong-- he LET you go. shaiapouf finds it entrancing sometimes, the way he can feel your bones grinding together in your hand when he squeezes it too tightly, letting go the moment you yelp and pressing kisses to your knuckles until you complain at him for being the gooiest sap on the planet

micro-manages. god he micro-manages. he'll do the dishes, clean entire rooms, get rid of the old food in the fridge that he knows you're never going to eat despite saying you'd get around to it....

it feels... gross sometimes? you'll be laying in bed, sitting on the couch, at the kitchen counter, and he's just..... been working.

he looks so sad if you try and stop him though. he just wants to help, you know?

it doesn't matter if he's throwing away the clothes that you hide away your body with, stained and threadbare. they're your comfort clothes? that's okay, he'll get you better ones-- or even better, maybe you'd like to try on his own? he's sure you'd look adorable in them <33

it doesn't matter if he's slowly working out your chipped and dented dishes for fine china, delicate crystalware that clinked softly whenever he plated a meal for you. polished silver gleamed from your cutlery drawer, and you were a little scared that your knives would give you a thousand tiny cuts if you even breathed in their direction.

but thats okay, isn't it? he just wants the finer things in life for you... you do like his gifts, right? he worked so hard to get them!

you ask and you ask and you ask, and he never... quite tells you where he goes when he leaves, humming about it being 'confidential' and not to worry your pretty head about it before nuzzling against your temple .

he's not... trying to get rid of your comfort items, to warp your safe spaces. but if you come running into his arms, cuddle against his chest a little more often, well.

that's perfectly fine with him <333

just... don't worry about the speckles of blood on his clothes, the red marring his lips, pretty please? he'll lick the gore from his fangs, peel his clothes from his skin and toss them into the laundry basket before worshipping your body.

don't think about anything else. just him.

loves loves loveessss nipping at your skin...... if you're a chubbier s/o then i'm sure he'll ADORE you.

don't say anthing self-deprecating about your body around him. a gleam will enter his eyes, something dark and menacing before he's laving his tongue across your skin, leaving you squirming and breathy...........

he just really really likes how you look when your skin is littered with bruises and hickeys!!!! when his teeth sink in a little too deep, he'll whisper apologies into your skin, lapping at each droplet and pressing open-mouthed kisses until you're a giggling mess

ermmm anyways let me stop hornyposting this is the yandere part he gets SO SUPER IRRITATED WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T MEET HIS IMAGE OF YOU!!

he SAYS he loves you but...... he can't understand you sometimes, why you'd shiver and start tearing up when he entertains the idea of viserally ripping someone to shreds whom he thought had personally wronged you a few minutes prior

in his mind you're his liege, the thing he worships and protects and lavishes n anything he can offer, he simply can't comprehend the way you start to shy away from him in fear when he entertains any of these ideas too long.

oh, he'll excuse it as instincts, his culture even. he's more than aware of how humans function, their benign society and rules that they keep in place and enforce, but oh.... he's so sorry for asking to rip off the arm of the mailman just because his fingers brushed against yours as he passed a letter to you, to sew his mouth shut with silk thread just because he complimented your appearance.

it was commonplace in his culture, you must understand-- to make moves towards what was very clearly someone else's partner simply wasn't to be tolerated.

ohh, how he wanted to pinch your cheeks and snatch you up from the way your face adorably scrunched up, right before you asked him how the grocer asking credit or debit was making a move.

guyyyysssss he's so sillyyyyyy please just stay with him and vcudlde with hijm in bed and dont think about anyone else ever

[sol-consort]

Aaaaahhhhhhhggbbgggggg I fhucking love all of your tidbits and thoughts about aliens in Masseffect

I was reading through the Salarian tag and just aaggjhaghhhhhhhhhh 👌👌

I love salarians so much, I constantly imagine being a cute little wild human in an all salarian ship and slowly corrupting them. A chaotic curious human and a hesitant but intrigued salarian are the perfect due.

They're so pristine and working hard, they need a human to show them how to live a little! Especially since they can eat our food and drink our alcohol, I want to take them to human parties and put their 1h sleep requirement brain to the test. I want them to experience getting low and dirty in the mud, be an the animal we all are inside.

But I also want to spoil them romantically, especially with how clinical and business-like their society is with marriage. I want them to experience swimming in the fluffy clouds of puppylove, the burning fires of passion, and the acidic pits of jealousy. I want to raise them up high before watching them crash down and experience the whole range of all available emotions their brain can make chemicals of.

It only takes one human to ruin a perfectly efficient salarian crew, I tell you. It only takes a little gesture of physical affection to reignite their touchstarved hearts for more of the warm cuddly human body. Much like lizards love sitting in our balms or cats napping in our lap, our heat is so comforting it puts them to sleep. Salarians are so thin and come from a tropical planet, they would have very low body heat and low tolerance for cold temperatures, they'd literally melt and maybe fall asleep if you cuddle them for more than 10 minutes.

Imagine how exhausted they must be from all the expectations set on them by their society, to get into college by age 16??? To work hard your whole life and squander a perfect memory to use in arguments or memorising textbooks when you could relive every happy memory you've had?

They deserve art too! They deserve to be silly and they deserve to be moody and simmer in their own emotions instead of their society encouraging them to move on from every minor or major inconvenience so fast because "life is short"

Yes life is short. SO. LIVE. IT. Live the single short life you have in all of its ups and downs instead of spending it all on what society thinks you should do rather than finding out what you actually want to do.

It's like they're constantly in survival mode, from one task to another, from one scientific achievement to another. When do they get to play or sit under the trees they planted and desperately protected? When do they get to go on picnics?

Humans recycled every primal urge we have into modern inventions, we play games and dance to move our body and mind, we make art and write to move our soul, we read and watch stories to move our hearts.

Do the salarians have those equivalents? Did they find something to fill the void of not sitting on cool rocks to bask in the warm sunlight anymore? Did they invent a game to rival the joy that catching bugs must have once held in their hearts? Do they stare into the mirror and realise how beautiful their galaxy like eyes are which mirror the heavens above they so desperately wanted to explore? Do they realise how beautiful their colorful skintones are to inspire a million human artists?

I want to show them that, all of that. How cute they are. How adorable it is that they are attracted to high voices. How you should embrace your primal urges instead of supressing it.

That apathy is not beneficial to survival, nor is it any indication of superiority or emotional maturity. That there is NOT a separation between logic and emotion, for both of them happen in the brain. It never was brain vs. heart.

That joy has been the secret of life all along, that they shouldn't be afraid of the dark moments in life, for it only makes the sun shine brighter tomorrow.

I want to ask for a salarians hand in marriage and give them a beautiful golden ring while I wear a matching one. I want to take them on a honeymoon for a month and give them a proper break. I want to help them rediscover their happiness in body and mind.

[omgkatherine01]

Dream Girl: Chapter 9 - Festival

Series Masterlist

Chapter 8, Chapter 10

Pairing: Neytiri x female reader

Please comment, like and share

They were coming today...

They should be here soon...

Whe--

"Ow," you muttered when a soft smack hit on your forehead, and you focused on Neytiri.

"You are out of focus," Neytiri scolded you yet there was an amused tone in her voice this time, "Again."

"I'm sorry," you said, "I'm just excited for Grace coming back. And to see my brother after a while, and hug him."

Neytiri nodded slowly before she spoke softly, "Do you trust them? Grace, your friend and brother."

You nodded, "Yes. Do you? I mean, do you trust Grace?"

She nodded, "Yes. I do. It is not her fault, what happened at the school."

"She feels terrible about that," you said quietly, "From what I saw, she blames herself."

"I blamed her, too, for many years," she admitted, "She is the one who told the other warriors where to find us. But now I do not blame her."

You frowned sadly, and after a moment, spoke up, "I'm going to tell you something... Grace, Norm, Jake and I, we work for a company,” I said slowly.

Neytiri tilted her head, "A company?"

"It's a--a group of people who are trying to make money," you told her.

"Grace told us about money," Neytiri said slowly, nodding, "She said it is very important on your home planet."

You nodded and shrugged slightly, "We need it to live."

Neytiri frowned, "What if someone does not have it?"

You shrugged, "Well, usually, they die. Sometimes, other people take care of them."

"Why not always take care of them?" Neytiri asked, tilting her head to the side, "If they need help, surely people help them."

You looked at her with a soft look, "Not always. But, that's not what I'm getting at." You cleared your throat and continued, "So we work for this company, and it's how we stay alive. But we also work for the company because they give us money and supplies to study Pandora."

"Study, like school?"

"Sort of," you said with a nod, "We're studying the plants and animals here to see what we can learn about them. We wouldn't be able to come here and study these things if we didn't work for this company. But soldiers--warriors--also work for the company. And the company is trying to make as much money as possible."

Neytiri was watching you closely, focused carefully on every word you were saying. Her expression was otherwise unreadable, though, and you had no idea how much she was really understanding.

"We have to tell the warriors what we are doing and they have to tell us what they are doing," you said softly, "So when Grace opened the school, she had to tell the company and the warriors what and where it was. She didn't lead the warriors there. They already knew where it was."

Neytiri stared at you silently for a moment before asking, "Why are the warriors here?"

"The company thinks you are dangerous," you said softly, "They think the Na'vi people are the only thing in between them and their money."

Neytiri's eyes grew wide in surprise and she frowned, "But, we do not care about their money."

"I know," you said as you placed a hand on her arm, "But the company... look, the unobtanium--the large floating rocks, that material--is very valuable on Earth. So they can take unobtanium from below the ground, ship it back to Earth, and... become rich."

Neytiri looked a little disgusted, "That is why they are going below the ground? Eywa says we must not use metals of the earth."

"I know, and the scientists don't agree with what the company is doing," you assured her, "Most of them don't, anyway. But we have to keep working with the company even if we don't agree with them, because otherwise…"

Neytiri's face fell and she finished softly, "You would not have money and they would not take care of you... and you would die."

You nodded slowly, "Pretty much."

Neytiri frowned again, "But, I do not understand. If the company does not like us, why do they have scientists?"

"They want to… look good to the people on Earth," You said, "If scientists find out good things about Pandora, then we can tell the humans back on Earth and they will not know that we are destroying your planet."

"So you work for money to live, and they let you work because they want people on Earth to like them," she said and you nodded lightly. "But they are cruel to Eywa because the metals of the earth give them money to live."

"That's the best I can explain it," you said softly.

Neytiri nodded slowly, "Grace did not tell the warriors where the school was... she told the company, and the company told the warriors."

"Yes," you said, relieved that she had understood.

Neytiri nodded slowly, gaze glazed over as she retreated deep into thought. Then she focused on something past your shoulder and her ears pricked up with excitement. She looked at you quickly and nodded behind you.

You both stood up and you turned to see what was happening.

Grace was walking into Hometree, with Jake and Norm following her. Na'vi were stopping to speak and stare at her as she passed, and it reminded you of your first time in Hometree.

Grace didn't seem to mind it, though. There was a giddy, childish grin on her face as she moved among the Omaticaya people, waving to adults and crouching down to smile at children.

You smiled and turned to Neytiri who stared at Grace. You gently took her hand, making her snap her gaze to you and you nodded to Grace, moving forward toward her and the children and dragging her with you.

You let go of her hand and she moved forward hesitantly. Grace didn’t share her awkwardness, though, and she made the gesture of greeting at Neytiri, "Oel ngati kameie, Neytiri te Tskaha Mo'at'ite." I see you, Neytiri of the Tskaha, daughter of Mo'at

"Oel ngati kameie, Grace Augustine," Neytiri said. I see you, Grace Augustine. Then she moved herself into closer and into Grace's arms.

Grace held her tightly, and when she met your gaze over Neytiri’s shoulder, her eyes full with tears. Thank you, she mouthed.

You smiled and nodded to her before you walked toward your brother and Norm. You smirked and nodded toward Mo'at, "Want to go and say hello?"

Norm nodded and placed his hand on your arm as he walked past quickly. You chuckled and turned your attention to Jake, "No funny business, right?" you asked, hopefully.

Jake gave you a small smile and nodded, "Right. It's good to see you, sis."

You smiled and reached over, throwing your arms around him, "It's good to see you too."

Neytiri and Grace were speaking quietly when they saw you and Jake hugging. Neytiri smiled softly, and looked at Grace, "She missed him." Grace looked at her. "Her brother."

"Yeah, they definitely missed each other," Grace said.

"We were in the middle of a language lesson, she is good, you have taught her well," Neytiri said.

Grace smiled as she looked from you to her. She tilted her head a little, her smile was smaller now but it was still there when she saw how she was watching you and your brother speaking with each other.

"I hardly recognized you there," Jake said with a small chuckle, "You look now like them."

"I'll take that as a compliment," you said with a small smirk and punched him gently on the arm.

"Ow," he teased as he grabbed his arm like you harmed him.

"Come on," you said with a laugh as you took his hand, and tugged him toward Neytiri and Grace. You cleared your throat, your smile was still on your lips, which made Neytiri smile a little.

"So, if you guys will excuse me, I have some people to see," Grace said, grinning. With a nod from you, she gave one last smile to Neytiri and walked away.

"Neytiri, I would like you to meet my brother, Jake," you introduced, "Jake, this is my friend, Neytiri."

Jake nodded, a flirting smirk on his lips, "Hey."

You rolled your eyes but your soft smile didn't disappear and it just turned to amused one, "Don't flirt."

"I wasn't flirting," he said as Neytiri looked between you two, an amused expression appeared on her face. "I was simply saying 'hey' to the young woman who's been looking after you since we were separated."

You nodded, humming with a little sarcasm, "Right."

Neytiri let out a laugh while Jake gave you a playful look. You looked to where Grace had headed off to, and the three of you watched her approaching Mo'at who was speaking to Norm foundly.

Everyone were quiet as they watched Mo'at turning her attention to Grace. Your breathing paused before you let out a breath when Mo'at held out her arms and embraced Grace into a warm welcoming hug.

Neytiri grinned and turned to you, and you smiled. There were calling from some of the Na'vies and you looked behind to see some of the people running off.

"We will be celebrating Grace's return and the welcoming of your brother and friend," Neytiri explained to you softly, "Come, we must go hunting."

You nodded and turned to Jake, "You stay by Norm's side, okay? Don't cause trouble."

"Wait, you're hunting?" Jake asked you with a small frown.

You nodded, "Yep. I'll see you later." Neytiri took your hand and gently tugged you to toward the direction the rest went to. You looked at Jake, "And I want to introduced you to someone when I'll get back."

Jake nodded, and with that you and Neytiri ran off.

--

After hunting, as the sun was setting you had brought Jake to meet your banshee, Stormi. You called out and a few seconds later, Stormi flew down, screeching which surprised your brother.

You approaching your banshee and petted him on the head, "Shh. Sìltsan, Stormi." Good, Stormi.

Jake smirked softly as he watched in awe the big beast calm and purring with your gentle petting. "This is my banshee," you said softly and looked at your brother, "I named him Stormi."

"Not bad," he said.

You chuckled softly, "Come on over, big bro, he won't bite. Not while I'm around you."

"Good to know," he said as he approached closer. You watched at Stormi's side as Jake reached his hand forward. Stormi gave a small hissing but as you continued to pet him, he let your brother approach. Jake slowly placed his hand on the side of Stormi's head, and he let out a breath he didn't realized he was holding.

Jake then let out a chuckle of surprise and he grinned as he looked at you. You grinned back at him and chuckled as you petted Stormi again, "Sìltsan, Stormi." Good, Stormi.

You heard Neytiri calling for you and you let Stormi fly off for now before you turned to you brother, "It's time, come on." You grabbed his hand and tugged him to lead him back.

When you reached back to the village with Neytiri, everyone started to celebrate.

The central space is lit by a bonfire, around which the hunt festival massive sturmbeest ribs. Neytiri started to dance in a flowing costume while a few Na'vies danced circling her.

Your eyes and Neytiri's met as you sat with Jake, Grace and Norm, and a few others.

Your eyes darted to Tsu'tey and you tensed a little as he approached closer and sat next to you. Two Na'vies were following him carrying something, it was bowl of some kava-like, and they placed it down.

"Oh man," Grace said as she looked at it, slightly amused.

You frowned lightly and Tsu'tey held up the kava bowl, offering it to you. You took it, and after a few seconds you took a long, hearty drink as some of the young hunters hoot and clap hands in a fast rhythm, even more when Tsu'tey joined in on the drinking.

Grace chuckled softly as she watched you and Tsu'tey drinking together. She quickly took the other bow from Norm's hands when he tried to drink, "Watch that stuff. It'll knock you into next week."

But then she took a drink, making Jake and Norm laugh.

After you and Tsu'tey finished drinking, he finally grinned while everyone cheered. The rest of the party left to join the others while you were left with Tsu'tey, with Grace, Norm and Jake not far from you.

"I guess it is a start of a beautiful friendship," you joked with a small smirk.

"It is seems that I had thought wrong of you," he admitted, "Neytiri is right about you... you are not like other Sky People." He looked into the fire and you followed his gaze. But then you looked up to the skull of the great Leonopteryx.

The fire light was lighting the skull, it seemed to be alive.

Staring right at you.

"Your warriors hide inside machines fight from far away," Tsu'tey continued after a pause, and you broke away from staring at the skull to look at him. His gaze from the fire moved to look at you. "I did not think a Sky Person could be brave."

His compliment caught you off guard, and when you opened your mouth to speak, your voice was caught when Neytiri ran closer.

She grinned down at you and grabbed your hand, "You must dance."

You shook your head quickly, "No, I--"

She cut you off, smiling, "It is the way."

Your eyes quickly darted to Tsu'tey, who's soft expression disappeared. You opened your mouth to tell Neytiri that maybe Tsu'tey would like to join her, but she tugged your hand and pulled you up to your feet.

"Okay," you said softly.

"Come on," she said, chuckling. She grinned again as you quickly turned and grabbed Grace's hand and pulled her quickly up to her feet.

Grace was startled while Norm and Jake laughed. "Whoa, wh--I'm a scientist!"

"Suck it up," you said, finally smiling.

Neytiri laughed as she pulled both of you closer to the others, and you and her gently pulled Grace into the group. You quickly turned and rushed to your brother and Norm, quickly pulling their hands and tugging them up to their feet.

"If I'm in, so are you!" you said with a grin as Norm laughed.

You pushed them gently to the group and you turned to Tsu'tey. You held out your hand for him to take, and he looked from it to your face. You gave him a small smile, hoping he won't tell you were nervous if he was going to reject it after what just happened.

But you were relief when he took your hand and got up. You grinned at him and pulled him gently with you to the group.

Neytiri turned to you and grinned as she grabbed your hand again, pulling you by her as you gently let go of Tsu'tey's hand.

-

Taglist:

@ara-a-bird, @imthefunniestpersonalive, @mistyyyy, @lovelyspecs, @octavias-next-meat-bite, @redwitchredspeedster, @fanboyluvr, @simp-erformarvelwomen, @maxinej, @smol-book-nerd, @philiasoul, @lisajeongyeon, @stupendousbananajudgeshark, @danielyharstom, @jakesullyssluttt

[okayto]

Mini-Review: Bee and PuppyCat: Lazy in Space

Bee, an unemployed woman in her early twenties, encounters a mysterious creature she terms PuppyCat. She adopts this apparent cat-dog hybrid, and together they go on a series of temporary jobs to pay off her monthly rent. These bizarre jobs take the duo across strange worlds out in space.

This is the kind of show I often enjoy, episodic while expanding the world and our view as the stories pass; humorous without making me cringe.

It's a very fun show that looks like its aimed at kids, and would probably be fine for that audience--it's not adult humor in the vein of things like The Simpsons or Rick and Morty, but it feels like adults are the audience because of the atmosphere.

Bee is a mess, in a recognizable way: she's been fired from her job for possibly valid reasons but also partially for taking the blame for someone else. She's aimless: if it wasn't for the rent being due, she wouldn't really be looking for another job.

The aimlessness of being an adult, yet not automatically having things all together, is a running theme. Bee definitely doesn't. Her best friend and neighbor, Deckard, is struggling to decide between following his passion, and staying where he is in a predictable environment with friends and family.

His sister Cas gave up a passion project in favor of the predictable work and stability of software engineering, something she has complicated feelings about. Their landlord, Cardamom, seems to have everything all together, except he's a 7-year-old with no adult supervision, and as the episodes go on you realize that his straightforward approach to life is actually a child being forced to handle things that are an adult's domain.

The setting is also fun: it's hard to tell whether things like toilets be a place to store food instead of, well, bodily functions are normal, or why a 7-year-old seriously acting as a landlord doesn't seem to raise many comments. Is this a fantasy land where things are just kind skewed anyway? Or are Bee and her neighbors extra-odd? In that way, it reminds me a bit of Steven Universe, with its mix of cartoon reality and non-main characters eventually making clear that they think this is weird, too.

The actual fantastical bits are interesting, too. We get information about Puppycat towards the end, but he definitely has secrets, and Bee isn't as straightforward as she appears at the beginning, either. Their visits to other planets/dimensions (?) to earn money would be an interesting show even without showing any of their home lives.

You can definitely see the influences of classic magical girl anime, but this show is also the answer to the premise: what if magical girl, but tired adult? What if magical girl, but it's just kinda a job?

Verdict

Voices: Very good! They sound very...realistic, not super polished. I don't mean that they sound like inexperienced voice actors, I mean that they sound real and variable, which isn't common in voice acting. I really enjoyed them.

Also, special shoutout to my favorite character, Toast, whose first line had me wracking my brain to figure out why did her voice sound SO familiar and why was her voice affecting something in my emotions until I looked it up, and her voice actress is the English voice of Sailor Moon/Serena that I grew up with!

Visuals: Vibrant and pastel colors, a very round cartoon style, it feels modern and cozy.

Worth watching? Yes! On one hand, it's just a fun series, the balance between "just living life as an aimless young adult" and "brightly-colored fantastical adventures" is done well. The supporting cast of characters is great and entertaining. And on the other hand, it's also nice to watch a cartoon that feels very much like the target audience are adults, but not because the show is raunchy. I really hope we get another season someday.

Where to watch (USA, as of September 2023): Netflix. Note that a 10-episode original web animation (titled Bee and Puppycat without any subtitle) can be found on Youtube; the Netflix series I watched is both a reboot (covers the original series' material in a few episodes) and then continuation. After asking advice on here, general consensus was that newbies starting with the Netflix series is a good idea, but there's nothing wrong with the older, original web animation.

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[puddingvalkyrie]

Send help, they're being too cute.

Edit: some preceding events here and here

---

“Victor! You’re back!” his Uncle greeted him. “And your hair is... blue. Did you... Did you know your hair is blue?”

“L-Lucinda painted it for me!” he replied, beaming. “I-It’s not permanent, but sh-she said it can be next time. I-I just need to pick what colour I want.”

“You look pleased with yourself. That’s new,” Aurelia observed, ruffling his hair. “Nice hair, kiddo. Were you with Lucinda all afternoon? We wondered where you’d gone.”

“Y-yes, I w-went to her house, a-and we watched an anime. D-did you know about anime? I-it’s art that moves! Th-there’s voices and everything!”

Aurelia put her hands together in front of her face for a minute, smiling lopsidedley. Then she giggled and ruffled his hair even harder. “Kiddo, I’m Japanese.”

“Y-yes?”

“Anime comes from Japan? It’s just the Japanese word for animation.”

“Oh. Th-that’s why M- Cinders w-was so excited to go there.” He rubbed an arm. “Th-that makes sense. The m-manga is all in Japanese, too. I j-just thought the y-yokai brought only Japanese ones b-because they’re Japanese.”

“Nope.”

“I-I thought I knew quite a bit about Earth, f-from reading books, but i-it’s completely different being there.”

“That’s right. A good lesson to learn. So what else did you do?”

“W-we went for a w-walk in the park,” he said. “A-and I finished my college application. W-we’re going to go hand it in tomorrow.”

“Three Earth trips in such a short time?” Aurelia said. “You’ll be an expert soon enough. So where you going tomorrow?”

“S-Stratford-Upon-Avon.”

“Oh, it’s wonderful there!” his uncle chimed in. “THAT’S where the college is?”

“I-It’s partly there and partly o-on Anima. You’ve been?”

“Yes, that’s where Will is from. I’ve visited a few times. You must be careful, though. Don’t use too much magic.”

“I-I know...”

“Ah. Yes, so you do.”

“That reminds me.” Aurelia turned to Tyrian. “Did you tell him?” She turned back to Victor. “I can’t be your donor this month.” She thumbed in Tyrian’s direction. “Husband beat you to it.” Tyrian looked scandalised.

“I-I know,” Victor replied. “I-It’s not a problem.”

“Well, look at you!” Aurelia took his face in both hands and leaned her forehead to his, smiling so wide, the top of her head might’ve fallen off. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Th-thank you...” He felt warm all over, and he knew he was blushing. But it wasn’t embarrassment. For once.

She kissed his forehead a few times. “Blegh, face paint!” She recoiled, laughing. “I guess I spoiled that a bit. But you get the idea.”

“I-I do,” he said, smiling almost as wide as she was. He couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

---

Context for new readers: Victor is vampire from a planet that is not Earth. To most Otherworlders, 'Earth' is just one big, weird, distant country, almost. (If they thought about it they'd realise of course there's multiple peoples and countries there, but tbh they barely think about Earth at all)

Yokai (like Aurelia) are originally from Earth though, so they tend to have a lot more knowledge about it.

Note: I'm just posting lil bits of things as I go, which I normally wouldn't do. I will need to reread ALL SIX OTHER VDBIF BOOKS to double check I didn't mess up any continuity before this is finished. Which is gonna take a while.

So if you see any continuity errors, shhhh no you didn't

[awesomesauce2929]

Goku introduces Zenon to various earthly things (you just look at this guy, he made time for the little god)

Like "this is a frog environment, my dudes". Goku brings a frog to Zenon's house, specifically on Wednesday. And basically just to show Zenon the creature (Zenon eats the frog when Goku is distracted, Saiyan thinks it escaped)

HUGE PILES OF DRY AUTUMN LEAVES. Goku rakes the leaves into big piles and Zenon watches people jump into those leaves and have fun, and participates too. (Now I'm thinking about Whis being introduced to this once, and now he periodically comes to Earth for more than just food)

Maybe introductions to holidays and food (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and etc)

Fishing with rods???

Maybe Zenon meets Goku's family and Chichi tells him about Goku's adventures and how they got married. (Daishinkan asks Chichi about her food recipes and she is happy to share them with him)

All of this, please someone make this into an slice of life anime of the Adventures of Goku and Zeno (alternative title: DBS: Make Zeno happy saves the Earth, haha)

Goku loves his little friend and personification of destruction - giving him a Earth tour, Zeno-sama will enjoy this very much, considering his interest of that planet may have peaked as most fighters in the tournament were from Earth.  Earth got numerous cultures, traditions and whatever Goku shows would cover a small percentage what the Earth offers but it's a good start introducing Earth to Zeno, navigating through the goods, the bads and often the ugly of humanity. I see Goku being a guide and teacher to Zeno in this.

I like to think that Zeno love to swim in the sea, so I can imagine Goku and others go to the beach, have ice cream or fish and chips or crack a coconut and drink the coconut water.  Then Zeno seeing people surfing on the wave and want to get lessons on it. Beerus and Whis is always with them because Beerus does not trust Goku alone with Zeno-sama, he still fears for another universal tournament of erasure. Zeno had a problem at first with the god following them around but Goku would ease this, making sure this tour would be enjoyable for all.

How I imagine Goku introducing Earth to Zeno, is similar how Goku was introduced to Earth, by humble environment and technology (Capsule Corps). Yes I can imagine Bulma would give Zeno a capsule to put his stuff away if he wants. Ah Goku and Zeno fishing with fishing rods and getting fishes, yes to that a lot. Why not Zeno wants to collect the seven dragon balls with Goku and Bulma, later meeting the earthlings during this adventure, what kind of wish Zeno wants to make, the earthlings wonders? (actually Zeno wants to see Shenron, and ride on him, that would be fun to see)

Zeno likes to stay Earth for much longer, but the Grand Minister picks him for his duty but there's always a next time, especially Goku invited Zeno and Grand Minister for the supper/an event, maybe, hanabi, the fireworks and Zeno and Grand Minister in yukata, so so cute.

Chi-Chi will be more than happy to share recipes with Daishinkan, I can see them making food together under Chi-Chi's direction, a feast fit for the gods. Why not they bond over kids and gossip, they can have couple of teas over this.

""Maybe introductions to holidays and food (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Halloween, and etc)"" chef's kiss to this idea, yes yes, especially they come to visit, please imagine Zeno having fun during the easter egg hunting around the field finding the eggs, or Zeno wearing a cute costume during Halloween.

Thank you for this ask, I had so much fun answering this (thanks for waiting)

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Homestuck: Epi-Prologue

You've done it. You beat the game. You entered your new universe. Jade placed that messed up Earth in front of - well it's not the sun. But it's almost like the sun. And that fits in away, because the Earth is almost like your Earth, except this one suffered through an underwater apocalypse. There's plenty of similarities but ultimately, it's a different planet, in a different solar system.

There's no Mars now, no Mercury, no Venus, no Jupiter, or Saturn, or Neptune, or Pluto, or even Uranus. Fuck. That's messing you up so much - you can't even laugh at Uranus.

What are they gonna base Sailor Moon on now? Are they gonna have to name a whole new set of planets? That could be kinda cool. Dave would absolutely name one "Snoop Dogg" and then there would be a Sailor Snoop Dogg.

No. That can't happen. That's too stupid! You've done some pretty stupid things in your life but you have to draw the line somewhere. And you guess... This must be the line - imagining some anime chick in a mini skirt, calling herself Sailor Snoop Dogg. Maybe that automatically makes her a furry?

With that thought, you reach out, grabbing hold of Dave's wrist before he can turn his timetables.

"Wait."

Great. Now everyone is looking at you.

"I don't want to be here."

That's... not what you meant to say. Um.

"We can leave."

Uh. Well. That is true.

Rose and Dave share a look. Dave's bro raises a brow over his weeaboo shades.

"What in the taint-chafing fuck are you talking about?" Karkat asks.

And to be fair, it's a good question. And you have a good answer. Maybe it's a good answer? From the way Terezi is - well, at least she's not looking at you. But she's sniffing the air in your general direction and you kinda wanna say that she seems surprised. Huh. You surprised Terezi. You kinda like that.

This must be a good idea.

"I can use my retcon powers. We don't have to stay here. We can leave. We can travel back to Earth - the one from my universe. Also Jade's, Dave's, and Rose's - you get the point."

"Uh, hate to break it to ya, bro. But that Earth and its universe got smashed to pieces. I would know. I was there. I blew it up myself," Dave tells you.

"With help, of course," Rose adds, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah but like... That was a specific moment right - there had to be hundred of other moments before that. We had like WW2 and dinosaurs - thousands of years before the Batterwitch even stepped foot on Earth."

"Are you saying that you want us to live with dinosaurs?" Jade massages her temple. "John, I liked Jurassic Park as much as the next guy, but that's taking this a bit too far, isn't it?"

"What's a dinosaur?" Kanaya asks.

"I love Jurassic Park!" Jade's young Grandpa adds.

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! Except it kinda was? It was just an example! I could retcon us to the Renaissance and watch Michelangelo paint dicks live! We can go wherever, whenever we want. We don't have to stay here!!!"

There's a big burst of the Breeze as you shout that last word. You send everyone flying through the air or if they can't fly, they're knocked right off their feet. Oops. You didn't mean to do that.

They float back towards you or they get back up, and you can tell from their faces that they're thinking about it.

"We can't stay there forever," Rose says slowly. But that's not a no. She's not saying that you can't do this. Major win.

"Yeah, that universe has a giant expiration date." Dave nods. "But Egderp is right... There was plenty of years before the universe ended."

"You're really considering this?" Dave's bro asks. "You're gonna bring us back to Earth before the Condescence landed, hang out in ancient human civilizations, maybe watch Plato finger a guy."

"Yes! Exactly! Except for that last part. I'm not a homosexual."

"Cool. I like dudes."

Dave winces, mumbling. "That's... Yeah, I'm gonna have to get used to that."

"Well, if I can't watch Plato go balls deep in Socrates, I'm not going anywhere."

"In Dirk-speak, that means he's into the idea," Teen Nanna tells him.

"I've always wanted to see ancient Egypt," Roxy adds. "Especially after seeing my planet's copy of the Great Pyramids. They worship cats - that makes them a-okay in my book."

"Better than worshipping us too," Rose smiles at you. "We will have to come back here. But I... I think we can spare some time to watch history live."

"I've always wanted to meet Marie Curie," Jade says with a bright smile.

"Hold the fuck on! What about us? You humans can have your little time travel tourism, but we're gonna stick out like sore thumbs!" Karkat points out.

"If Condie can spend decades on Earth without giving away her alien identity, then we can hack hiding you guys in plain sight. That includes you, Callie!" Roxy points her finger at the green-skull girl.

"I've done plenty of trollsonas. I suppose I could make a humansona," Callie(?) says, clapping her hands. "So we're leaving? We're going to pre-scratch Earth?"

"I must confess that I have been so curious about your planet," Kanaya says.

"I still think that is a stupid idea coughed up by a meowbeast choking on their fur. But FUCK!" Karkat throws up his hands. "Sure. Why not. I got nothing better to do."

You look at them. They look at each other. They turn back to you. Dave puts away his timetables, grabs hold of Karkat's hand on one side and Rose's hand on the other. They all start linking up, except for Terezi. She taps her cane and shakes her head.

"This might be the only chance that I get to find Vriska... I'll keep in touch, but I can't go with you."

That's... You weren't... Terezi sounds so serious. It's like that time she was dying and she handed you a bloody scarf. You both worked so hard to get here and she was gonna leave anyways? Yeah. Okay. That's fine. That's probably for the best. She could end up licking the Sistine Chapel and ruin everything. So you nod at her, closing the circle of holding hands.

The victory door hasn't despawned yet. The giant, five-square Sburb logo also sticks around. If you do this right, you'll come back here at the same time you left. But for now...

You reach for that power inside you. And you pull.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2022 Anime Overview- Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

It’s time to start reviewing the anime I watched in the fall season! There’s some anime I chose to save for later, like Bocchi the Rock! (which I’m watching now and enjoying) and Raven of the Inner Palace, though I’ve heard great things about it and it’s a rare shoujosei adaptation so definitely go check it out! I might do a review of that when I do get to watch it, since it’s been overlooked this season with so many heavy hitters.

But onto what I did watch! And this one has so much to chew on it gets a whole post to itself.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

A top contender for anime of the year for me. It’s not over yet though, so I pray it sticks the landing with the next season(s).

The anime follows Suletta Mercury, a girl who arrives at a new school (and new planet!) with her giant robot Aerial. Quickly she discovers a girl named Miorine, who’s desperate to escape to Earth because her bigwig father has decreed that people can duel with their giant robots for Miorine’s hand in marriage. Mio is not at all on board with this, especially because her current fiance is an abusive jerk. Suletta confronts the jerk fiance, challenges him to a duel and...well, you can probably guess what happens, especially if you’ve seen Revolutionary Girl Utena.

(And if you haven’t, go watch it! Though look up content warnings if you’ve got specific triggers or don’t often deal with darker media. I’ve got an episode breakdown here!)

Anyway, Gundam said Gay Space Rights.

Meanwhille, Suletta’s mother, Prospera (yes, it’s a codename AND a reference to The Tempest) has a thirst for revenge after a horrible wrong was done to her by the terrible corporation Mio’s dad heads, and has secret plan brewing behind the scenes. There’s alson conflict between Earthlings and the space-faring people who are exploiting them. Meanwhile all poor Suletta wanted to do is make some friends and enjoy a couple of dates!

This anime is so good so far, and was specifically targeted for me in so many ways it’s not funny. A fun cast of characters? Well written queer girls? Shadowy parental manipulation? A protagonist who’s sweet and shy yet supremely dangerous? Good action that’s driven by good character dynamics? Lots of cool women kicking ass? Tangled relationships and tons or well written relationship drama?

I’ve definitely enjoyed a few mecha shows (like Planet With),but I tend to bounce off them, in part because I have a hard time telling what’s happening when robots are fighting and the technobabble starts flowing. That still is occasionally an issue in this show, but because the fights are so driven by character conflict and there’s clear stakes I can follow along with (like the fact using a Gundam for too long is supposed to kill you), it’s not as much as an issue as it usually is. And Gundam knew exactly how to lure me in. The second I heard the whole first episode was a Utena reference, it pulled me in and I’ve enjoyed every second since.

The whole first episode echoing Utena does show the show’s pedigree (the series composer actually wrote the Utena light novels) and offers a little reassurance for audiences hoping it delivers on its queer storylines But the show is no rip-off, and it it very much does its own thing from that point on. Suletta isn’t Utena, and Miorine isn’t Anthy and this is apparent from the first episode. Suletta is achingly insecure, Miorine isn’t resigned to being a bride and has a short temper and abrasive attitude. The show isn’t about gender or compulsory heterosexuality (so far), it just has a lot of complex female characters in a wide variety of roles and has a developing romance between two women as the central relationship.

But like Utena, abuse is a huge theme, but very specifically parental abuse. Both Miorine and Suletta are being used as tools by their parents in a complex political game- Miorine is aware of this (though not the full scope of it, probably) while poor Suletta is very much in the dark. The way the parents use their children is chilling, but not without complexity- there are reasons to sympathize with Prospera, even if her treatment of her daughter is unforgiveable. She feels like a person, even thought we don’t know her full story.

The show also isn’t subtle about it’s political themes!

That particular conflict has been bubbling in the background, but handled well so far (there are some great, more subtle moments, like the news showing the ‘weapons’ from the protest above, which included ‘molotov cocktails’ clearly put there by the police, and...an umbrella.) But even if works have themes I like or agree with, what really matters to me is the characters and if they’re executed well. Fortunately, the show has a loveable cast whose journeys I look forward to with both excitement and trepidation.

Whether it’s the wonderfully angry Chuchu and her legendary [redacted] in episode 4, or the unpredictable arc of what started out as the show’s biggest (teenage) jerk, or seeing the funny romantic rivalries Lilique unwittingly gets entangled in, the show makes you care about these kids.

It’s also, as a side note, the best treatment of fat people I’ve seen in anime. There are a ton of plus-sized people in different roles, and they’re never made fun of (except for one mild comment in a later episode that is quickly shut down, and the person apologizes). Lilique is a chubby girl who’s allowed to just be the cute romantic one of the group and is canonically popular with the boys. Considering how anime is usually the opposite of body-positive, it’s really nice to see.

The central relationship of the show is, of course, Suletta and Miorine. And it’s a really fun relationship to follow. Even with the Utena reference and casual acceptance of gay marriage, I was a little worried about being baited by the show. But I’m happy to say I’m really satisfied with the development of the relationship so far. Both Suletta and Miorine are layered characters, and it’s great to watch the girls’ feelings grow as they miscommunicate and struggle and learn more about each other. We watch what starts as an engagement of convenience grow into a real bond, and root for these girls every step of the way. And yes, they’re bringing the gay.

But the relationship, and the show, is not without its shocking twists, and the very last minute of the last episode of this show left me a puddle on the floor and begging for more.This show can grab your heart and rip it out and you’ll thank them for it.

All I’ll say is fans of fascinating, screwed up women will be happy. I’m certainly happy! For now, at least. I like this show a lot, so I hope it doesn’t screw up it’s second season. It’s built up a lot of trust for me, but I’ve had that trust betrayed before. Such is the curse of being an anime fan, and a fan in general.

But for now, I whole heartedly recommend it, and encourage everyone to check it out! It’s got all the good things and there’s a ton to speculate on. Come freak out and theorize over that post credits scene where [redacted] with me.

[alpaca-clouds]

This one amazing anime you have probably never heard about

You know what? After talking a bit with a friend about this anime, I really gotta tell you guys about it.

For fucks sake: Watch Basquash. Yes, the show is more than a decade old, but fucking nobody watched it back when it was released, because people were too put off by the concept of the show to give it a chance. But literally I know few anime who understood the issues around capitalism and how it destroys the world better than this one did.

If you have heard about the show, you will probably know it as "the anime where mechas play basketball and some women have giant tits". Which... Both is true. But it also does not capture the essence of this show at all.

Let me tell you what the show is actually about.

Dan JD lives on the planet Earth Dash. He mostly does small time crime, trying to collect the money to allow his sister to travel to the moon. Because the rich people all live on the moon, which is why the moon has much better technology. This also includes medicine. And Dan's sister, Coco, was once a gifted basketball player, but through an accident became wheelchair bound. The technology on the moon could fix her legs. When Dan's childhood friend Miyuki returns from the moon with one of the mechas responsible for Coco's accident, Dan uses it for quite a bit of chaos - and incidentally starts Bigfoot Street Basketball through it, later known as Basquash.

And yes, you can kinda see the basics of the capitalist criticism in this short description. But believe me, that only scratches the surface. Because oh boy, this anime is basically just one big metaphor on how capitalism destroys the world - and how the lack of social mobility might well be the reason that the people who might have the skill to save us never get access to the kind of techology they would need for it.

I am going to explain under the cut - because of spoilers. I think the show is very much enjoyable even with the ending spoiled, but if you just wanna watch it... Go ahead. Please. Do yourself the favor and watch it!

Okay, let me talk a bit more about what actually is going on in this show.

For the destruction he commits in the first episode, Dan gets send to prison, though he gets out two years later. He kinda get into steering one of the mechas (called "big foots" in this world) himself and quickly starts to figure out how to use the thing to actual play basketball. And indeed, his stuff in the first episode lead a lot of people to play "street basketball" with those mechas.

Even though he had been in prison, someone shows up to want to sponsor Dan with this new sport. In fact, quite a lot of people become interested in how Dan plays the sport. And for the first bit we just have them play the sport, travel a bit, see different parts of the world.

Now, there is ton of capitalist commentary going on during this first half of the show, too. But nothing compared to the second half.

Because around the halfway mark we learn, why people are so interested in Bigfoot Street Basketball, aka Basquash. And this reason is that for a while now the moon has been put out of orbit, because the rich people build their city all on this one location, making the moon much heavier on one side. And this will lead to the moon crashing into earth, killing everyone.

Now, of course rich people could have changed the way they behaved or stuff - but they didn't. Instead they banked on a prophecy about a chosen one with the ability to move orbits with a glowing ball. And because the basketballs that Dan throws start to glow, everyone assumes he is the chosen one and can save them. So, basically they can keep on going like they do and he is just going to save them.

But there is two issues. For one, they cannot be sure about it. For two, he is a little anarchist.

Which is why the backup plan is to genetically engineer a chosen one.

Never the less, in the end they have Dan there, trying to do the thing that would push the moon back into orbit and... he fails. Because it turns out, yeah, he wasn't the chosen.

We never learn, who is the actual chosen, but the series strongly implies that it would have been Coco. Who gave up basketball when she became wheelchair bound.

Now mind you, the show is actually fairly good about this. Because Coco herself is happy with where she is in life. She has become a writer, she likes writing, and she is frankly annoyed that Dan only cares about "fixing" her disability.

But yeah, she might have been the one to save the world - and she was not in the position to do that, because her economic circumstances basically made it that she could not access the kind of care she would have needed to fulfill that role.

And this is just... the amount of metaphor going on that I really cannot help but bow to. This is AMAZING writing.

Of course, in the end the world is still saved, because everybody realizes that waiting for the one legendary chosen hero is bullshit anyway and everybody should work together to find a solution, which they do and manage to save everyone.

But... Yeah, fuck. This show is so good. And it is just very unfair that because of the concept people just never watched it.

Oh, and also: This series has one of the most banger soundtracks ever. Just listen to the fucking ending.

[evilminji]

Okay they've haunted me enough. I've gotta share um or I'll go insane.

✨️HUMAN SUMMONS.✨️

Because Homosapiens(prob spelled wrong) are animals too! And you CAN NOT tell me.. CAN NOT, I SAY! That the MONKEY'S have a Contract but there would be not consequent HUMAN Summon!

Now, this does not mean they are still ALIVE. But I'll get back to this in a second.

First? What ARE the Summons?? What purpose do the SERVE? I theorize they serve as Minor Gods. No real or great power, Cosmicly, but meant to regulate and allow the circulation of Chakra through... well, EVERYTHING.

It was a great and all encompassing delegation. Sheep focus of the Chakra of sheep. Oak trees focus of the Chakra of Oak trees. And Humans focus on the Chakra of Humans. Who, at the time, could not ACCESS it, but lived off it none the less.

A closed and arguably balanced system.

Then? Hey? What's that in the sk- OH FUCK PARASITE TREE!

A HUMAN eating parasite tree from fuckin space starting EATING the planet. Everyone's freaking out. Summons are pulling back. Trying to FIGHT back. Dying.

The Human summons? We return to what happened to them. The fuckin TREE happened. They get sick. Get consumed. Try to rally their children against the abomination. Their Chakra, the Chakra of HUMANITY, gets tied up in the tree.

The Sage happens.

Trust them with "their own lives".

He's left holding Humanity's very life force with no where to put it. The people literally MADE to watch it are... gone. There really is only one alternative.

Much like OTHER animals who no longer have gaurdians. New ones will form though, surely, The Sage must think. It's temporary. But a good chance for the world to grow. Like acorns sprouting after a terrible fire.

Except? Babies can't happen from Nobody Left and the Human Summons STAY extinct.

But!!! Is there truly NOTHING that can be done? I here you ask?

Weeeeeeell....

I mean...................

You COULD try and rob the Hokage?

Your dumbfounded silence is both expected and entirely justified. Yes. THAT Hokage. The Professor. Old as BALLS and surround by stab happy, mask wearing, psychopaths.

Now I hear you ask, questioning my sanity, "Why the fuck would I do that?"

Never SAID you would succeed! Now did I? Of course you won't! That's not the objective here! No, see, the Hokage has a Summons contract. Specifically, for the Monkey King. VERY handy that...

Useless to us though.

Close but incorrect. Made on the right paper with the right ink, it doesn't even contractually bind the summoned monkey to hear you out. They can just immediately leave. And that's on TOP of it summoning "A Sapien". Quite literally ANY saipan.

However! A LOT of people want it. Including many of his relatives. And you would not BELIEVE the number of people willing to go to truly suicidal lengths to get that scroll! Utter madness. And utterly useless, seeing as it's stored IN the Monkey's realm.

But! To keep people from tearing his public facing office apart looking for a scroll that doesn't exsist? From targeting his children, his GRANDchildren? Attacking his home? Well... He had Enma make a dummy Scroll.

At least... that was the THEORY.

No one would be DUMB enough to USE it though. And ANBU would never let anyone get far enough to TRY. Honestly, it was just as likely the scroll would simply explode. Improper fuinjutsu is no joke.

Buuuuuuuuut? If you WERE skilled enough? And say, everyone was distracted enough? By someone stealing a small child from the Hyuuga? Then for the glory of Kumo you could TOTALLY do it!

Get caught.

Then chased half way across the village.

Maybe panic. Remember you supposedly have a Powerful New Summons and sign your suspiciously blank scroll in blood. Be laughed at by the anbu chasing you.

Baffle the Anbu chasing you when you go to summon something and it works.

And there is-!?

Some Lady! In her sleep shirt. With a toothbrush still in her mouth because you literally JUST kidnapped her from her bathroom. (O. O ) mmmph?! She says. Stumbles back from the nearest Anbu, (who, to his credit DOES try to catch her) falls OFF the roof, hits a window ledge on the ways down... HARD... and~ *POOF* A Summons has been sent back?

Kumo dude books it.

That contract will be causing PROBLEMS.

For you see~ Reincarnation is a very much CONFIRNED fact in this reality! But where do Summons go, when they die? They surely can't be allowed to STAY! They held FAR too much power amongst their species. The risk they run of becoming corrupted by it is too great. The need the nice, balancing effect of being Just Some Dude.

So? You move they sideways! Pick um up, turn towards a neighbor, and swap minor-god souls. That way you won't be tempted to favor them or intervene. Gotta let them grow on their own. That's the POINT.

Exceeept? If someone were to make a Contract. That effectively called for THEM SPECIFICALLY. But... they are dead. Gone. Except of course they're not. That's their soul right over there! Who are you trying to fool? The list of Human Summons says that's one of the souls you can call upon. And since NO ONE HAS UPDATED IT?

Because everyone was dead?

Yoink!

Confused office worker! Sitting in the ruins of the Human Summons Realm and NOT their apartment. Wondering if this is divine punishment for their pre-teen weeb phase. Then some OTHER guy just... *POOF*s in. Then a third. A forth.

And they're all trapped. In what looks like the overgrown, half sunk ruins of a giant futuristic city. Except for the parts that aren't? As they look around its like every culture and age of humanity was smushed together and drowned. They have endless resources. Literally. Since the city keeps slowly shifting and changing around them, piles of junk endlessly refilling.

But... They're trapped. And just as they finally think they are getting a little settlement up and running? The PROTAGONIST *Poofs!* in and nearly lands in the cooking fire. Scares them all half to death. That?! That is a whole ass child! Small! Tiny small baby child! Why is he HERE!? Why is he hurt!? AaaaaAAAA-*everyone panics*

Naruto? Having a GRAND time. He has no idea where he is, but everyone here like him. Feeds him and listens to him. And wants to be his friends! That "poof a friend" jutsu was the BEST just he EVER copied! He's GLAD he stole it!

Back home? Konoha is losing its shit. Kakashi is 👌THIS close to snapping like a twig in a typhoon. The Uchiha are literally shaking people upside-down from roof tops demanding answers. The Nara are actually AWAKE. No ones happy and many things are on fire.

Ultimately, Naruto refuses to leave without signing a contract (good GOING Andrew! He's supposed to sign with the TOADS!) and no amount of begging or bargaining would work. They... they were threatened with tears, man. It was like looking at the saddest kicked puppy in the universe. So NOW?

Now Naruto is on the SACRED mission... of Find The Asshole With That Contract That Brought Us Here. Then Burn It. With the SUB mission of get them a meeting with the Monkey King so they can yell at him and/or kick him in the balls. Either or. Both work. In return?

All of human progress that they can scrounge up. Let's see if Zetsu can survive industrial plant killer. Fuck those guys who won't sell to you baby, save your money, here's a crate of FANCY Ramens. Have a solid gold brick. We literally have no use for it. We were using it as a shiny paperweight.

And so, with the power of "I Know A Guy" and "let me check the trash pile"! The day is.... made more interesting! Saved maybe!

And yes, these summons are free to as many good writing homes as want um! Just tell me so I can read.

[hellhoundlair]

tag game!!

thank u for tagging meeee @saltbind <3333

Do you make your bed? life is far too short for that + i usually prefer for my sheets to be scrumpled instead of even and flat anyway.

What's your favorite number? 2 and 4. 42 if im feeling crazay.

What is your job? not telling :3

If you could go back to school, would you? i could interpret this question in many ways and each of those ways has a different answer. but to keep things simple, yes, i would like to go back to school. but no, i would not liked to be de-aged to my teenage years and made to experience highschool again amongst other teenagers. i would rather die.

Can you parallel park? i dont have a license but i think i have it in me

A job you had that would surprise people? not telling :3

Do you think aliens are real? no but also i guess i do but in a way that i dont care much about this question anyway because i dont think any sentient alien species would ever come into contact with humans. i think theres lots of types of bacteria and goobers and stuff on different planets tho :3

Can you drive a manual car? no but i can try :3

What's your guilty pleasure? no such thing as a guilty pleasure. there is only pleasure. i do think incest is hot though.

Tattoos? none so far! i do want plants and animals on me but id like for them to be in a cohesive style. maybe one day when i have lots of expendable income.

Favorite color? green!

Favorite type of music? when i was younger i was a biiiiig metalhead and i am still very fond of it, but now i'm into darker sounding stuff with fun synths and basslines. spotify says dark pop and alt z is what i listen to a lot of, idk about that but it sounds correct

Do you like puzzles? love em. i grew up obsessed with the professor layton games which are just games where to progress u need to complete puzzles and there are all different types and i friggin ate that shit up and still do to this day. i like args and escape rooms and fuckin sudoku. love em.

Any phobias? heights

Favorite childhood sport? netball i only did it for like. a week. but i was devoted for that week.

Do you talk to yourself? i dont know if what i do in truly considered "talking to myself" by real talking-to-myselfers but i do sometimes whisper to myself a bit when im alone

What movies do you adore? more recently ive been enjoying movies that make me think. i feel like ive more recently within the last year or two gained a sort of level of sentience where i am able to watch things and understand. but if we are talking all time faves LABYRINTH and THE DARK CRYSTAL

Coffee or tea? tea! i dont drink coffee

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a dude :D

tagging: @rottingsam @spnyuri @degenderates

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

I now have access to pretty much every animated version of Voltron and now after around 7 years of being a Voltron fan and amateur archivist, I'm finally sitting down to watch (or rewatch) every Voltron show to see how it's grown over its legacy, starting with Dotu!

Season 1, Episode 1 - Space Explorers Captured

Starting off strong, the intro is pretty cool in my eyes, no wonder this was burned into so many kids heads when it was airing It also reminds me of Danny Phantom and how the backstory was in the opening, same thing here to get into the action lol

It's Hunk and Keith! NOT, the first shots we "see" of them aren't actually them! It's reused footage from Vehicle Voltron of the characters Jeff and Rocky, you can tell by the uniforms (and y'know faces)! This feeds my hc that the boys originally were part of the explorer though >:D

I love the way this art style, or like any 80s-90s anime, draws space, it's so pretty like CMON Also, I never realized that the boys got to Arus WHILE it was being taken over, I swear I remembered that Arus was already a wasteland so-to-speak by the time they got there

GOD SVEN'S DOPEY ACCENT IS SO NICE TO HEAR, I'VE MISSED IT SO MUCH I did notice that the city destruction image was later reused for Balto, which in the original GoLion anime is from Earth's destruction! NOT THE EIFFEL TOWER JUST BEING DESTROYED WHILE KEITH IS SAYING THE ARUSIANS GOT TO SAFETY MY GOD I KNOW TOO MUCH

First look at the pilots! Very 80s from what I think the vibe is, but also very personalized! Knowing their character traits, it fits them pretty well for the most part

"This isn't the first time [the team] has been in a tight spot" NOT THE FIRST TIME, YOU SAY? INCH RESTING

"[There was a legend that a castle of lions] held the secret of the super robot Voltron, Voltron could save them" YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR FAITH IN A LEGEND THAT MAY NOT EXIST?? LIKE EVENTUALLY THEY'RE RIGHT BUT OOOOO IS THE GARRISON USELESS, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THEY ONLY SENT A TEAM OF FIVE INTO AN ACTIVE HOSTILE TAKE OVER ignoring the fact that they said they were too far to help anyway

The team literally got captured and yet the dialogue they chose was "we need to eject, it's better than crash landing, let's go!" ??? I think this was reused dialogue from episode 2 that they just plugged in

What a rad design for a villain, like he looks so fucking cool. I generally forget that he's reptilian almost vs his barbie doll looking son Maybe the subspecies of Drule he's a part of is reptilian! Holy shit Zarkon's eyes started flickering, is this guy cybernetic too??

PIDGE'S SQUEAKY TOY VOICE IS STILL SO FUNNY TO ME AND IT'S EVEN BETTER BECAUSE HIS VA (Neil Ross) ONLY TOSSED IT OUT FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES BUT THE PRODUCERS LOVED IT SO MUCH THEY FUCKIN KEPT IT

My god is the voice acting funny, Commander Yorak's weak grunt when slashing at slaves is everything

The Doomites are VERY different looking compared to Zarkon or even Lotor, probably another subspecies of the Drule race This time they look kind of batty? Yeah, that's it

I wonder what era their clothing is inspired by, obviously there's some creative liberty, but a lot of these clothes scream nobility to me also screams clowns but shhh lol

"What should we name this new robeast your Majesty?" "Uhhh Blue" Really had no creativity with this robeasts name guys

More really cool alien designs, I have to remember I can let loose when designing other species lol

Oh interesting, I thought the team fought alongside the rest of the slaves in the ring but Zarkon saved em for last Also, the fact that the guys were legitimately branded is insane, the dialogue makes it seem like they were all separated for it, but I refuse to think they'd let any of each other get taken away for it also they're called tattoos not brand, definitely censorship

ah yes Pidge's mad hops. Knowing he's from Balto, this is just telling me that my high gravity hc for the planet was right because there are only a few but very specific reasons why he'd be able to do that and being human ain't one of em

"Ugly virds" -Sven again some of these line deliveries are so funny, like every single one of svens just makes me laugh

the sound effects for Pidge jumping back down is also peak comedy oisndv

Lance's sass is always welcomed on this blog omg, the moody tendency is showing from his GoLion counterpart

"We're space explorers and we need space!" CATCH ME CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP, THERE'S A REASON WHY THAT'S ON THE DESC OF MY BLOG NOW

If you hear laughing it's me LMAO

But actually, though, they're being treated kind of well in terms of being captured. The team never fights in the arena and when they're pretending to sleep as the guards are coming to take them over they just leave them be and reason that the boys will fight better tomorrow

those are some weak ass bars if Hunk can bend them

[Lance hands Keith a rock] "Don't miss" my humor is broken, and I'm laughing too much at a simple line

Hunk being afraid of heights is such a human characteristic to give him, and I mean that like it really feels like he's a person by giving him something that lots of people find silly or even relatable! (like me ha)

Their plan to escape was going level by level down with rope, except Keith fucking GETS DOWN WITHOUT THE ROPE It's ok, they hitched a ride ON A GIANT FLESH EATING BIRD THAT SWOOPS AT THEM

Hunk slips off his bird and reaches for PIDGE OF ALL PEOPLE TO GRAB HIM, but somehow that doesn't dislocate the poor boy's shoulder and they both go PLUMMETING TO THE GROUND AND SOMEHOW SURVIVE THE FALL Hunk lands in a pile of bones which OW and Pidge BOUNCES OFF THE GROUND BECAUSE OF HOW HARD HE HIT IT if that doesn't kill em, fucking nothing will good god Everyone else lands fine though, bastards lmao

Keith is Catholic™️ confirmed

Animal lover Keith over here being kind to mega vultures "I'll alvays think they're veutiful" -Sven You literally just called them ugly but ok

PIDGE'S KAZOO PANTING I CANNOT LMAOO They're running in formation (kinda), how cute!

Oh they really are all trained Sven and Keith knock out some guards with kicks Lance straight up tosses one without a sweat Hunk is also kicking but he's taking more down by himself AND PIDGE STARTS CHOKING A GUY OUT FROM BEHIND 10/10 would love to see more hand-to-hand combat

Straight up murdered a few guards by taking off in the slave ship, but shh they're robots it doesn't matter AND THEN THEY DESTROY PART OF THE CASTLE WHILE TAKING OFF AMAZING

Pidge sees a lion statue with a castle behind it and immediately just solves part of the legend that really shouldn't be a legend, the part with the castle anyway

So the team knows of the legend, meaning they were sent on a wild goose chase for basically nothing except that they did FIND IT Fun.

I think it's funny that they're describing Voltron before the split as a defender of justice but in GoLion he was literally the most egotistical bitch that after taking down basically everyone in a fight to prove his strength he got nerfed into those five lions

Episode over! Looks like I'm doing one episode per post with how much I'm talking lol That's all the time I have tonight for the rewind, but tomorrow I have a lot more free time, so maybe I can get like 2 more episodes at the very least