#yes i am aware i fucked up the name on the art no i do not care at the moment

[notveryflamboyantofyou]

Hehe I have made fanart for the levels fic A Tale of Spirits by @unorthodoxx-page!

I did take a few liberties on the rise boys designs but I stuck mostly to how I felt they were described (single shots and one without the text under the cut)

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

[thewidowsledger]

Good Luck, Babe

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Pairings: College Student Natasha Romanoff x College Student Female Reader

Word count: 7.1k

Warnings: +18, smut, ANGST, jealousy, cheating (we're cheating on Steve with Natasha), Natasha has a penis, top!Natasha, bottom!reader, fingering (r receiving), dirty talk, car sex, mirror sex, hate sex (?), choking, slapping, dacryphilia, blowjob (Natasha receiving), breeding kink only if you dare to squint, Natasha fucking r like a guitar, if I missed something I am going to throw hands

Author's Note: I’ll be back in 3 weeks I guess, I already scheduled some chapters for my fics, one each week. For this week, I serve you this one-shot🤲💗 This is something I wrote when I was supposed to be studying, lol. The title says it all. I did not proofread this one and I decided to remove some parts because I feel like it's getting too long. I hope y’all are doing okay! Enjoy!

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⧗

“I realize I just wanted to stay home, have a quiet night in.”

“Oh, you intend to be quiet?”

You furrowed your brows at her question, “Yeah, why would I be loud?” You asked innocently, not aware of the redhead's innuendo, your back was facing her as you started to remove the heels you have been wearing.

“Well, if I am going to fuck someone’s girlfriend, I might want to hear her scream my name.”

⧗

You stirred from your sleep in the middle of the night, woken by the gentle sound of Natasha's snore. As you looked up at her, her auburn locks lay scattered, half-veiling her face in peaceful slumber. You gently pulled the strands aside, you admired the way her features were soft and unguarded in sleep as if she didn't drive you into the brink of ecstasy a while ago.

You watched, entranced, as the steady rise and fall of her chest painted a tranquil rhythm, like the gentle lapping of waves against the shore.

Her eyelashes fluttered softly, like fragile butterfly wings beating in the night.

Soft breaths escaped her lips and with each exhale, her warmth wrapped around you like a cozy blanket, enveloping you in comfort and security.

Your fingers traced the marks that marred her otherwise smooth skin. There were long, deep scratches on her back as you clawed to her dear life when she rammed into you, bringing you both to the peak of your own highs.

Unable to resist the urge, you leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

“I love you, Natasha.”

⧗

Natasha was behind the wheel of her convertible and you were riding shotgun. You both planned to get away before the graduation, a secret escape for just the two of you.

Yes, it was a secret escape, just like your clandestine affair. For the past year, you had been meeting secretly, your passionate trysts hidden away from the prying eyes around your campus.

How could one imagine that the epitome of perfection in the eyes of many, from students, professors, and school staff had chosen a band guitarist to share your deepest desires and secrets with?

The fact that you, the student body president of the College of Liberal Arts, the volleyball captain ball, the campus' debate team leader, and the devoted girlfriend of the campus’ student council Steve Rogers has been in an entangled affair with Natasha Romanoff, the school's band guitarist, was kept strictly under wraps.

Only a select few were aware of the tangled web you both were weaving behind the scenes. A few that only you, Natasha and her sister Yelena know about the affair that you’ve been keeping closely a guarded secret.

With your hands held high up in the air, you relished the feeling of the wind whipping through the open top of Natasha's convertible. The rush of air against your skin felt incredibly free and exhilarating.

As you stood there in the open wind, blissfully unaware, Natasha watched you intently, cherishing the unguarded moment between the two of you. Taking in every detail as she glanced at you the way your hair tousled in the breeze, the sparkle in your eyes as you smiled and the way your pink sundress fluttered in the wind. It was in these small moments, when she could watch you in your carefree state, where she could openly watch you and admire your carefree happiness without the need for secrecy or hiding.

Unlike when you were on campus Natasha could only watch you from a distance. Whether it was her playing with the band during a night blast events your campus would trimonthly organize, searching for your familiar face in the crowd, or her sitting in the audience far enough for her not to be seen by you, watching you shine in a debate competition you joined.

Just for once, it's only the two of you, completely unburdened by your secret affair.

“How did your send off go by the way?” Natasha asked, as she put her hands on your lower back.

“As usual, every player, even the new recruits had to spike a ball into me!” you rolled your eyes in the air. You glance at the redhead who is staring admiringly at you, you smile at her, biting your lip when she slowly dragged her hand all the way down to the curve of your ass.

“Two hands on the wheel, Romanoff.”

Natasha chuckled, tearing her right hand away from you, you slumped on the passenger seat as she did so, “And coach just told me that Bishop will be the next captain ball.”

“She's in the same position as you, right?” Natasha asked, now putting a hand over your thighs, unable to resist the temptation to touch you.

“During her residency coach had to train her as an opposite because we had filled the quota for each position. She was originally middle.”

Natasha hummed at your response. Her fingers can't help but stray, tracing patterns on your thighs. Her hands begin to move of their own accord, sneaking higher and higher up your thighs with every pass.

Her touch sends shivers down your spine, your breath hitching in your throat as her fingers make contact with your sensitive skin. You can't help but let out a soft moan, involuntarily arching towards her touch.

“Natasha,” you warned softly.

Her gaze flickers to yours innocently but she doesn't stop, her fingers continuing to trace patterns on your thighs, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, “What’s wrong?” She watches you carefully, her hands pausing in their ministrations as she waits for your response.

“Stop the car,” you demanded and she didn't hesitate. Her eyes flicker to the rear-view mirror, spotting an empty side street just ahead. She swings the car in that direction, pulling over and turning off the engine in record time.

She barely has time to register your movement before you're on her. Your legs straddling her, your body pressed close against hers as you take control of the situation. Her eyes widen in surprise, but then she grins, her hands coming up to grip your hips and pull you closer.

She trails kisses down your neck, softly nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin, careful not to make any marks even though she has been dying to mark you—to make you really hers.

Without warning, she thrusted her fingers deep inside you.

“Oh, Nat!” You cried in pleasure as she drove you higher and higher. Her fingers move faster, her thumb applying more pressure to your clit. She can feel you trembling, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

“I can't believe you didn't wear any panties baby,” she chuckled, “what if someone saw my pussy while you stood there in your seat huh?”

“I-I, I—”

“Close baby?” She smirked on your neck, she added another finger curling in your tight walls that made you gasp and buck harder towards her digits.

“Nat, I’m gon’, I’m gonna…” you trailed off, finally hitting the peak of your orgasm. You chased your own breath when Natasha pulled you into a deep kiss and you let her dominate you again as she pushed her tongue onto yours.

She smirked at you as she pulled away, “You always loved quickies, baby.” She teased, licking her digits that were coated with your arousal.

You hummed, placing your forehead on hers, “Because that's what only we can afford.” You said in a small voice, your breath fanning over her mouth.

“Not now though, we have all the time in the world.” Natasha replied as she stroked your cheek, the pain was evident in her voice as she spoke. You both never really had time alone inside the campus without prying eyes or suspicions of others. The only time you have is this, when you two would plan a night out every month or when Natasha would occasionally do late-night visits where she would sneak into your dorm and the two of you would spend the night making love to each other.

“That’s the thing, Nat. We’re on our way back to the world, the real world,” you kissed her neck all the way up to her jaw and to her lips. You eyed her and kissed her nose before moving away from her lap back to the passenger seat.

The drive to the campus’ dorm complex was quick just like the quickie you had half an hour ago. Natasha pulled the car to a quiet secluded area and got out of her car. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow?” Natasha asked as she opened the passenger door, you stepped out with your training bag that you brought with you.

“Steve will pick me up tomorrow,” you said as you looked at her, you placed a kiss on her cheek, “But I for sure will see you tomorrow, alright?”

You and Natasha had agreed upon certain rules during the course of your…affair and one of those rules was that you would never mention your boyfriend's name when she was present. In this moment, however, you inadvertently forgot about this rule and his name slipped from your lips without a second thought.

Natasha just concealed her jealousy and aching heart but when you softly leaned on her, your head comfortably resting on her shoulder it was quick to soothe her. She then asked, “You don't want me to accompany you upstairs?”

“I might not let you go if I let you come with me.” You confessed but the redhead knew this too. Your eyes, however, betrayed your hidden desires, silently pleading with her to disregard any resistance and come to the dorm with you.

“Baby, don't give me those eyes,” Natasha softly whined.

You chuckled and painfully tore yourself away from your secret lover, “Good night, Nat.”

⧗

It is Tony's tradition to host a party before the school year comes to a close and has become a much-anticipated event in your campus. But this year the party held a somber undertone as it marks the end of the journey for your entire batch. Tomorrow is your graduation day and everyone will finally embark on different paths. So this night will hold a memory for all of you as you hold a bittersweet celebration bidding farewell to school days and the journey you had together.

Your boyfriend, Steve, just picked you up at your dorm and as soon as you arrived at Tony's place, your eyes scanned the room, searching for a glimpse of your secret lover. Despite Steve's firm grip on your hand, your attention was elsewhere, the need of seeing your secret lover making your heart skip a beat. You tried to remain composed, pretending to engage in conversation with Steve.

“I finished my graduation speech, love,” he told you, his voice cutting through the loud party music. Your mind was preoccupied with searching for your secret lover and you only half-listened to his words, caught up in your own thoughts.

“What? Sorry baby,” you apologized, your attention finally shifting to him.

“I said,” he held both of your hands and pulled you closer to him, eager to pull you away from whatever is distracting you, “I just finished my graduation speech,” he whispered to your ear.

You smiled, reaching up to pinch Steve's cheek proudly, “My council president.” Eyes shining with pride and happiness for him—genuinely.

Steve is a quintessential all-rounder; a true gentleman who excelled academically and was a beacon for the students as he is the student council president.

He is a good boyfriend too. He was consistent in picking you up from your classes, walking you back to your dorm. You couldn't help but notice that he possessed a mildly possessive nature, because he seemed to want to keep you shielded, no, away from the outside world because your life just revolves around the campus, gym, organization faculty, and dorm and your boyfriend made sure of that.

Whenever you attended training, tune ups or participated in debates, Steve is always there, observing and sometimes engaging in your activities. He had a subtle ego, where he'd train you, play as your opponent during debates and literally break you, pushing you through your limits because he told you that he wants you to do good, do better—he wants you to win.

He doesn't want losers and he always wins and you knew that the day he won your “yes” when he asked you on a date—he always gets what he wants—he always wins and everytime you let him.

“Stop giving Y/N those blue gooey eyes, Rogers,” Tony's joke broke the moment between you and Steve as he offered drinks. “Lovebirds, drinks?” You cringe at his words, it doesn't feel right to you.

Steve accepted a cup for himself but when you were about to get one for yourself he swiftly interjected, shielding your hand away from the tray declining the offer on your behalf. You gave Tony a strained smile, “I’m good, Tony, thanks.”

How did you even bother to get one when he never lets you drink alcohol or engage in any activities he deemed unsuitable for himself when you were out together? You often felt trapped and restricted, as if you could never truly enjoy yourself when you’re with him. He constantly kept a watchful eye on you, ensuring your compliance to his rules—making you feel constantly monitored and controlled like right now you’re basically trapped and isolated in the corner, his towering body shielding you away from the crowd in the party.

Sure, he is a good boyfriend.

“Stop, fucking in the corner blondie!” You heard his friend Sam shout at the distance and Steve just gave him a finger but still facing you.

Steve is never the one who fucks around, he always maintained decency and in fact—he is a celibate and no one knew actually—just you. It was an agreement to the both of you when your relationship began which you completely agreed and respected but what he didn't know was that you were secretly breaking that agreement by satisfying your desires every night with your secret lover.

And your secret lover, concealed by the presence of others at the party, watched despite Steve's imposing frame blocking her view. She watched as you laughed at his words and planted a kiss on his cheek every now and then. She watched Steve as he wrapped your hands around his neck, you looked happy—too happy she thought, considering she knew the truth about your secret. And the secret in question? Is her.

She clenched her jaw as you placed a final, chaste kiss on Steve's cheek, she almost lost it when your boyfriend tried to attempt to kiss your mouth but you gently stopped him by placing a finger on his lips, keeping him at bay and chuckling slightly as you finally walked away from him and from the crowd of the party.

⧗

You managed to convince Steve that you could make it back to your dorm alone, insisting that you'd see each tomorrow at graduation rites. Steve begrudgingly agreed, though you could tell he really wanted to walk you back as he usually did.

As you walked back to your dorm complex in the chill of the night, the absence of your secret lover weighed heavily on you. You didn't see a glimpse of the redhead tonight, she was nowhere to be seen at the party, leaving you to wonder where she disappeared to.

You took a deep breath before opening the door of your dorm only to be greeted by none other than your secret lover who you have been looking for the whole night.

“Out early in the party huh?”

You bit your lip pretending to not be shocked by her presence, you forgot that she had duplicated your dorm key, “I realize I just wanted to stay home, have a quiet night in.”

“Oh, you intend to be quiet?”

You furrowed your brows at her question, “Yeah, why would I be loud?” You asked innocently, not aware of the redhead's innuendo, your back was facing her as you started to remove the heels you have been wearing.

“Well, if I am going to fuck someone’s girlfriend, I might want to hear her scream my name.” She stepped forward and grabbed your hips, you sucked in a little breath as she inhaled in your neck. “So tell me, will you be loud for me? Y/N? Will you…scream my name?” She husked, her breath warm against your skin.

You turned to her, green orbs dilated as you looked straight at her eyes.

“Don’t I?” You whispered in a very dangerous tone as you ran your thumb against her lips, “always,” you caressed her cheek and traced your fingers along her tense jawline, “scream your name?”

A growl ripped out through her, she immediately grabbed your hips and turned your back on her front. Her lips found your neck and she sucked and bit gently, leaving a faint mark. With a swift movement, you yelped a little as Natasha pulled your left leg up, causing your skimpy dress to roll up even further. Her hand instinctively went up to the back of your thigh, gripping it tightly.

You didn't notice that you were both facing your vanity mirror. Natasha's eyes darkened while yours widened as you looked at your reflection through the mirror. Natasha's right hand sneaks through your panties, finding its way to your core. She begins to rub gentle circles, causing you to gasp and lean back against her.

“Fuck!”

Natasha's left hand grips your thigh with the same precision and strength as when she holds her electric guitar during their gigs. Meanwhile, her right hand continues to strum your core like how she played a wild solo on her guitar.

She was the artist and you were the art.

“Oh yes, yes ah!”

Your moans fill the air, her fingers moving with a skilled rhythm that could make any musician jealous. To her, your moans and the sloppy sound of your pussy are like music to her ears, a symphony of pleasure that she herself is producing. Your moans crescendo, becoming louder and more frequent as she pushes her fingers in and out of you while her thumb continues to strum your clit. Your moans are like a song she is composing right this moment and the only lyrics is her name.

“Natasha!” You moaned out in pleasure.

Her breath hitches as she continues to pleasure you. She leans in close to your ear again, her voice a low purr. “Open your eyes and look in the mirror.”

You hazily opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was her smokey eyes filled with lust, desire, and pleasure. You then dragged your gaze down to her digits disappearing inside your cunt—the sight only brought you closer to the edge.

“C-cum—please let me cum,” you whined, a tear falling down your cheek. You can feel her lips curling into a predatory smile on your neck as she hears your plea. She doesn't respond with words, instead choosing to increase the tempo of her fingers.

“Only if you open those pretty eyes of yours and look at the mirror, detka.”

You squeezed your eyes shut before managing to open them again, looking straight at her through the mirror.

“Come and scream my name.”

“Oh f—fu—Natasha!”

You finally fall over, throwing your head back on her shoulder, a triumphant cry escaping your lips as she feels your body tremble against her. As the waves of pleasure subside, Natasha removes her fingers and you watch her in the mirror as she brings them to her lips, sucking them clean with a satisfied purr. She immediately catches your trembling body, still recovering from your orgasm, she then carries you into a bridal style and gently places you to the bed.

“I love you, Y/N.”

You hummed pulling her by her leather jacket, “Please stay, Natty.”

Natasha watches as your eyes flutter closed, she carefully extracts herself from your embrace, but you cling to her, your grip tightening on her jacket. Natasha pauses, her heart heavy in her chest as she looks down at your sleeping form. She knows she had planned to talk to you tonight, to finally come clean about her feelings, but now that the moment is here, she can't just bring herself to wake you up.

She takes a deep breath, her fingers gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face. She remembers the first time she saw you, how easy it was to slip into her role as a recluse and simply observe. You were the most popular student on campus, an achiever, the captain ball, always surrounded by a group of admirers. It made it all too easy to keep her feelings under wraps. That's why she couldn't believe the moment her sister told her that you wanted to meet her and it ended up with you in her car, begging her to let you come.

It wasn't long before things took a turn. You would find yourself asking her to come to your dorm after your classes were over, even if Natasha’s class isn't, she would immediately have an early out just to go to you only for the two of you to spend the night relentlessly fucking each other until neither of you could move anymore.

One time her sister brought her to your game. And she saw you struggling to keep up with the rest of your team—having a bad day to play. She watched you go to Steve and how he threw you your towel and handed you your tumbler being the supportive boyfriend that everyone thinks he is when he is acting like an entitled self-proclaimed coach just watching you, not even cheering or hyping you up.

And before she knew it, when you walked towards where she sat during the game completely shocked at her presence, she leaned enough for everyone not to notice—she offered to fuck you as a reward if ever you win the game. Only if she knew that you have a game, she would bring everything she thinks you might need, she’ll bring you a jug of water, different colors of kinesiology tape, hell, she would buy you new shoes. But right now motivation is all she can offer because it's too high of a risk if she did all these things.

It was the first time she had seen you play because it was one of your rules, for her not to show up whenever you're in a competition, games, tune ups or in an event organized by you or your organization. You had explained to her that you preferred to keep things hidden, no, low-key, to avoid attracting unwanted attention that could arise from others noticing the two of you. She agreed, not even thinking a bit of it because she wanted you safe as you hold a lot of titles in you. She doesn't want to ruin your image though it breaks her heart not being able to watch you win and be successful in each game or competition.

Would that still be important if after you win it was her you would spend the night with where she’ll see you in all your glory as she makes you feel like a champion once more?

At first, keeping your affair a secret had been easy. It was a necessary precaution, one that she understood and respected. But as time went on, Natasha found herself yearning for more.

Sometimes she wishes she would be the one you’re running to after you won a game. She wanted to be able to cheer you on from the sidelines as you won game after game, competition after competition, events after events. She wanted to be there every time you win and every moment of loss—she’ll be there no matter what.

But that will happen anymore, Natasha could already feel the weight of the unknown future bearing down on her. This was it, the moment she had both been looking forward to and dreading. You two are graduating tomorrow, new chapters, new beginnings and things aren't still settled for the both of you, you never opened up, you never told her where you stood in this…clandestine affair.

And that made her want you more. She yearned to be by your side, proudly and openly. She craved for the day when she didn't have to hide her feelings for you or keep her presence a secret. She hoped for the day when she could stand beside you, not as a shadow, not a secret but as a partner—your lover.

Is that too much to ask for?

⧗

The sun was beating down on the graduates and their families, sweat glistening on their foreheads as they chatted and laughed, snapping pictures and the students—graduates hugged each other tightly, tears streaming down their faces as they said their goodbyes.

Natasha's eyes frantically searched for you. Her heart pounded in her chest as she clutched her trencher, every second feeling like an eternity as she scanned the sea of faces—and there you were standing with Steve and she assumed his family—deep in conversation and laughter.

In the midst of the chaotic crowd around you, both of your gazes met and everything else faded away—it felt like the whole world stopped and it’s just the two of you.

You snapped back to reality as Steve pulled you into a warm embrace and kissed the side of your head, his family looking on with teasing grins. But you couldn't help but feel a twinge of cringe because you knew Natasha was watching all this happen.

“Love, I’ll just go see my friends and Mom.” You said, pulling back from Steve’s suffocating embrace. You gave him a small convincing smile as you tried to get yourself away from the situation.

When he nodded you immediately excused yourself to his family and ran towards the direction where you last saw the redhead. Before you could even go away there was a hand who stopped you from walking-running, you gasped as warm and strong arms pulled you into embrace—not a suffocating one.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Nat.” You sighed, leaning closer to her. Her scent envelopes your senses.

You were suddenly jolted back into reality, and swiftly disentangled yourself from Natasha's embrace. You could see the pain flickering in Natasha's eyes as you retreated hastily. You despised yourself for causing her this, yet you couldn't explain your actions just yet. It wasn't that you didn't care for her—quite the opposite, but the fear of exposure and being not accepted prevented you from being out with her freely.

How you wished you could tell her that.

“Y/N, I need to talk to you.”

“Nat, I need to find mom, we…” you trailed off, unsure on how to tell her, “we’re gonna have lunch with Steve’s family.”

Nat's eyes searched your face, sensing the turmoil within you. She seemed to want to say something but held back, her silent gaze speaking volumes. You didn't miss the flash of disappointment in her eyes and the sorrow etched on her face. You were all too familiar with this. So, you swiftly reassured her, placing a gentle hand against her cheek, silently begging her to focus on you.

“Nat, don't forget our week-long plans,” you reminded her softly, your thumb tenderly caressing her cheek. “I’ll be all yours, just you and me.”

Natasha despised how effortlessly you could coax her, and yet, she surrendered willingly as she always did—her love for you overriding all the resistance. Every time you whispered sweet reassurances and gave a comforting touch, she melted, her resolve crumbling effortlessly.

She could never say no to you.

Just as you were about to lean in to steal a kiss from Natasha, a sharp call of your name pierced through the air.

“Y/N.”

You turned around to see your mother watching the two of you, “Mama…”

How you wished she didn't see you lean in for Natasha and to alleviate the awkwardness, you introduce them both to each other.

Nervously, you began, your voice quivering slightly, “Mom, this is Nat…” you trailed off, unsure on how to introduce your lover because you cannot just introduce her as your lover yet since your mom knew about Steve and ‘friend’ just didn't seem adequate to describe what you shared with Natasha, not if you both know what each other tasted like. The thing between you and Natasha was too complex, too dangerous, too intense to be boxed into a single label.

You looked towards Natasha, offering a strained smile, silently begging her to make a good impression. Your mother was known for being judgmental at times, and the last thing you wanted was for her to disapprove of the person dearest to you.

Natasha took the initiative, greeting your mom, “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Y/L/N,” and she extended a hand. However, your mom's gaze remained fixed, her eyes honed in on the intertwined fingers of your hands with redhead. The subtle gesture didn't escape your mom's keen eyes.

Sensing your mom's penetrating stare, you quickly withdrew your hand from Natasha, creating a bit of distance between the two of you. Your mother seemed lost in thought for a moment before snapping back to reality and reaching out to shake Natasha's hand.

“Congratulations.” She greeted with her unreadable expression and the redhead gave her a warm smile and thanked her.

“Steve and his family are waiting for us.”

You nod, acknowledging your mom's reminder before she started walking away. You turned towards Natasha and you found her looking down, she then handed you a box and whispered, “You should go.”

Despite the aching in your chest, you managed a feeble smile, holding the box she had handed you. It is a necklace with a guitar pendant similar with the electric guitar she's using during her gigs, “It's beautiful.”

No reply came out from the redhead and her silence is making you hard to leave, you longed to remain here—to embrace her. Your heart clenched in your chest as you attempted to suppress the tears threatening to spill, “I'll see you, Nat. Okay?”

Natasha stood there, her eyes fixated on you as you walked away. A soft whisper escaped her lips, lost in the air, wishing that these words are enough to make you stay.

“I love you.”

⧗

Two months had crept by since your graduation day and the affair with Natasha remained a secretive yet constant part of your life. The thrill and passion you shared with her continued to burn brightly, with neither of you daring to mention the status of the affair. The question of what it meant would remain locked away, hidden beneath layers of secrecy.

Not until you kept another secret from your secret lover herself.

“So when are you going to tell me about it?” Natasha's voice was cold as she cut through the silence, her anger barely contained.

You froze under her intense gaze, your body shaking as you fought back tears.

“I...I'm sorry,” you whispered.

Shaking her head, Natasha continued, her eyes flickering with hurt and anger. “Engaged? And you didn’t tell me?”

Your tears finally cascaded down your face as you relived the memories of four days ago, when Steve had proposed to you. How could you say no? He decided to propose to you in front of his parents and your mother. And the sickening weight of expectations and the pressure of you saying yes to him had overwhelmed you causing you to yield without hesitation.

Natasha had learned about the proposal from Steve himself and he had even made a joke about her reuniting with the campus band and playing at your wedding.

It was no secret because you were planning to tell her, of course you are, you were just looking for the right time but when she showed up at your apartment minutes ago, her intoxication evident in her glassy eyes and the strong smell of alcohol that hung heavy got to her, you knew—but you didn't know that it came from your fiance himself.

Natasha's voice cracked in anger and despair, “I did everything you wanted! I followed your rules, your demands. I stayed away when you asked, I played along to keep our…fuck!” She suddenly broke off, a bitter laugh escaping her lips as she wiped the tears trickling down her cheeks. “Relationship isn't even the right word. We're not even a couple, right?”

“Stupid,” she chuckled, “stupid! stupid, stupid!” Natasha unleashed a punch to each word, slamming into the wall next to her. You flinched and fought the urge to soothe her but she turned to you, tears streaming down her face.

“I played along to…” she choked back a sob, “to keep you!” She spat, pointing a finger on you.

Maybe it was too much to ask for.

Her words hit you like a knife to the heart, causing you to physically flinch. Your tears welled up and fell uncontrollably, your whole body quivering with sobs as you struggled to hold yourself together.

“Sorry.”

Your heart was heavy with guilt for causing Natasha so much pain. The single word didn't seem enough to fix the hurt you had done, but it was all you could manage in this moment.

“I just wan…” she breathed, “I just want you to be mine.”

“I am yours, Natasha.” You managed to immediately say between sobs, placing your palm over your chest emphasizing each word.

“Are you?” Her brows knit together, “with that ring on your finger?”

Natasha approached you and with every inch she advanced, you slowly retreated, your body moving back in response to her encroaching presence. Natasha finally stood close, her body towering over you. You could feel the heat of her breath on your skin, infused with the strong scent of alcohol. Her chest rose and fell with each heavy breath she took.

“Y/N you were never mine to begin with and I had to live up with that.”

You were looking away from her, arms wrapped tightly around yourself in a protective manner. Natasha's fingers gently guided your chin, tilting your head up to meet her eyes. Her touch was electrifying as she slid her fingers down to your arm, causing a shiver to run down your spine.

“I chose to live up with that.”

Her movements were slow and deliberate as she took your engagement ring off your finger and examined it before letting it bounce to the carpet of your bedroom.

“Engaged, hm?” Natasha smirked, the pads of her thumb wiping the tears running down your cheek, “did you let Steve finally fuck you after you said yes to him?”

You breath hitched at the question but you immediately shook your head sideways, her hands slipped at the back of your neck and hissed.

“I am the only one who can make you say yes over and over again.”

“Natasha, y-you’re drunk,” you stuttered, you would never deny the redhead but you feel uncertain and scared around her right now.

She heard you but she didn't care, she then pulled you into a bruising kiss. Her lips were cold and demanding, silencing any further protests. She held the back of your neck tightly, “Shut up.”

She walked you backwards as she kissed you, the kisses becoming sloppy with each step. You felt the edge of the bed against the back of your knees and as she kissed you deeply, you slowly sank down onto the mattress.

“Lie down.”

“Nat, please…we can talk late—” you were cut short when she shoved her forefinger in your mouth. She watched as you squeezed your eyes shut, finally giving up, your lips sucking gently around her finger.

You chased her finger when she removed it out your mouth then your gaze went down as she moved to remove her belt. Her movements were deliberate as she undid the buckle and pulled it from the loops of her pants, causing them to fall open with her boxers.

Natasha's hand wrapped around a fistful of your hair, harshly tugging your head forward and forcing you to kneel in front of her. Your hands instinctively held her the back of her legs for support, her length inches on your faces as if you knew what to do, your hands slowly reached out to touch her. You wrapped your fingers around her shaft, feeling its thickness and hardness, your thumb rubbing the tip with the pre-cum that covered it.

“Open your mouth,” she plainly said, a command rather than a request. Your lips parted slowly and without a second she pushed forward, easing herself into your mouth. Natasha's expression hardened as she gripped your hair, her hips bucking forward aggressively. She thrust into your mouth without remorse, tears welled in your eyes, but she remained unmoved, solely focused on her own pleasure.

She fucked your mouth ruthlessly, her thighs trembling with the force of her movements. Your nose was pressed against her pelvis, your eyes watering from the rough treatment. The only sound was the sloppy wet noises of her thrusting and your muffled cries.

Natasha was one to fight her moans and grunts back, but she was unable to hold them as she unleashed a thick, hot load directly into your mouth. The force of her orgasm sent ropes of cum shooting down your throat, making you choke and gag on the sheer volume.

In a sudden move, Natasha yanked you up by your hair, her cock slipping out of your mouth with an audible pop. She took a step back, leaving you panting and disoriented, your mouth agape, tears falling down your cheek, spit on the side of your lips and her cum inside you mouth. She reached down and yanked your hair again, forcing you to look up at her. She spat into your open mouth, watching as the saliva mingled with her cum.

“Swallow.”

She squeezed your chin, applying pressure until your throat opened up. You looked straight into her eyes, you felt the lump of cum and spit lodge in your mouth, and then you swallowed the liquid sliding down your throat.

Natasha released her hold on your chin and hair, her voice taking on a dismissive tone. “Bed,” she ordered, turning away from you to clean herself up. You scrambled to your feet, quickly making your way to the bed, the sheets cool against your heated skin.

Natasha hovered on top of you, you tried looking into her bloodshot eyes but you couldn't see anything. You couldn't see her. Her eyes didn't sparkle the way it did when you two were making love…is this even making love?

You wanted to make it up to her, you wanted her to use you for what you did to her. For hurting her, it is all that you could do as of now—it’s all that you could offer. But you wanted her to talk to you through it like she always had, but right now she doesn't seem to care about what you need.

Natasha locked her knees on yours, her thighs squeezing tight to keep you pinned in place. She surged forward, burying her face in the crook of your neck. You could smell the alcohol on her breath as she trailed kisses down your body. She then nipped at your skin, her teeth sinking in hard enough to leave bruises. Right now, she didn't care. In fact, she wanted you to be marked, marked by her and not by your stupid fiance.

“N-Nat…Steve might com—” before you could even finish your sentence, Natasha slapped you hard across the face, the sting making your eyes water.

“Don't fucking say his name when you're underneath me,” she snarled and as if losing her patience she harshly pulled you by your thighs towards her. Without giving you a chance to protest, Natasha thrust into your core with a ferocity you hadn't expected. You could feel yourself stretching around her, each movement of her hips sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through your body.

Natasha folded your thighs towards your chest, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. You eyed her, tears ready to fall down as she fucked you with reckless abandon. She was like a different person, all rough edges and sharp angles, her usually composed, sweet, and caring nature replaced by a harsh, uncaring desire. Her usually gentle features were twisted into a snarl, her eyes cold and hard, lacking the warmth and spark that usually dwelled within them.

You couldn't help but wince as she thrust into you again and again, the pain dulling the pleasure, yet you let her continue. Your hands gripped the sheets tightly as you bit back a moan, your mouth agape in a silent scream as she took what she wanted.

You

You tried to claw her back, but she was too quick for you. She wiggled and before you knew it, she had gripped both of your hands on her own, pinning them above your head. She didn't want you to touch her and the realization stung.

She then suckled your tits hard, biting and pulling on them until you cried out in pain and pleasure. The rough treatment and seeing you in pain seemed to turn her on more, and she then continued to abuse your sensitive breasts.

“Say you're mine,” at least just this moment.

“Natasha, I’m yours, I’m yours.” You moaned reassuringly—guinely and you wanted her to see it, to feel it. “I—I'm yours, I'm you...yours,” you breathe, having a hard time to utter a word as she rammed into you.

Natasha's eyes become glossy again, she shook her head sideways as if she's trying to remove what you just said in her head that is now finally ingrained, she asked you to say it, of course you would say it back, but it sounded real and she hated it.

“You're not,” she slurred, “but I am going to make you.”

Natasha’s grunts grew louder, more primal as she neared her peak. Her face contorted, eyes screwed shut, and her movements became jerky, uncoordinated. She touched your lower abdomen to feel her cock bulging in and out. She was close, so close, and you could do nothing but lie helpless beneath her, tears leaving a trail on your cheeks as she held you down and used your body.

She finally let out a guttural growl, her body spasming as she emptied herself inside of you.

At least in this way she could make you really hers.

You jolted awake from the dream as the sound of your baby's cry made you alarmed. It's an instinct that you developed since you had your baby, whatever sound she made you'll be quick to get or coo her, doesn't matter if you're in the shower, cooking or asleep.

You slowly sat in the bed, wiping the sweat that glistened on your neck. You breathed in and out to calm yourself. It was a dream, just a dream, you're not new to it, it's same dream you always dream. It did happen but it never failed to visit—haunt you even in your sleep.

It was a dream but what you're living right now is a nightmare.

You looked over at Steve's body, deep in slumber beside you, the sight of him only causing a lump to form in your throat. The tears began to well up in your eyes, and you quickly looked away, unable to bear the ache and guilt any longer.

You quietly moved away from the bed, the sound of your baby's cries growing louder with every step you took. Your heart swelled as you reached the crib, carefully picking up your child and cradling her in your arms. You gently shushed your baby, cooing softly as you fixed the red hair that had become mussed during her sleep, her little face scrunched up as she wailed.

“Shh, mommy's here.” You whispered as you blinked rapidly, trying to clear your vision to fight back your own tears.

As if she was actually listening to you, her cries became silent as her small chubby hand reached up, her fingers wrapping around the delicate chain of your necklace. She tugged gently and your heart skipped a beat as she pulled the guitar dangle free, holding it in her tiny grasp.

You gently rocked your baby, cooing soft lullaby as you tried to soothe her back to sleep. But as you looked down at her, her green orbs shimmering with unshed tears was looking innocently straight at you. Your heart shattered at the sight and the tears you'd been holding back began to fall, softly dripping onto your baby's soft skin.

“I love you, little one.”

[hoshigray]

Alright, y'all, here's the plan: you're not quite aware of what Toji does for work, yet you keep quiet. But one night, the man comes home bleeding, and you can't keep your worries to yourself anymore. However, for your protection, Toji isn't ready to reveal his assassin business to you. And, in the heat of the moment, ends up saying something that hurts you instead...

A/n: (Reuploaded bc I forgot smthn) This prompt was picked from a poll to celebrate the 300+ followers milestone (pssst tysm for 450+ you lovelies :D) two weeks back. Truthfully, I don't think this is my best work after proofreading, but I did my best. Probably bc 1) it's longer than I intended, and 2) I procrastinated waaaaay too much with this. I don't even think I made sense halfway through, lol, but fuck it, we ball. Anyways, like last time, there is art drawn by me (@hoshigaby) but it'll be found deep in the fic :33

I hope you enjoy the ride and reblogs + replies are much appreciated!! Also, don't be alarmed that Y/n in the drawing looks of a dark complexion, feel free to use your imagination if it doesn't suit you. But do not edit it; be an adult and ignore it if it's not your taste.

Cw: Toji x fem!reader - arguing/yelling - fingering (fem! receiving) - mating press - Daddy kink - first Toji is sour, then he's sweet bc he's whipped for you :) - clitoral play (pressing down and a pinch) - praise - breast fondling + nipple play - pet names (angel, baby, darlin', honey, kid, mama/ma, princess, sweetheart/sweetie) - Megumi mean-mugging his father while Tsumiki and Shiu Kong tell him to do better lol - mentions of blood and stab wound; isn't fully healed so reopens.

Wc: 5.8k

"Uhh, are you sleeping on the couch?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"...Why??"

You scrunch your brow at your phone, looking at the two people you're talking to through the screen. "I know you're not about to get on my case over where I'm sleeping."

On the L-shaped couch lay you, cuddled up with a fluffy blanket and memory foam pillow, one hand holding your phone while another wrapped around a stuffed plushy. You were on a video call with your best friends: Utahime and Mei Mei.

Utahime, lying on her bed with a face mask, replied to you. "Oh, I'm definitely getting on your case because it's supposed to be the other way around!"

"True, but I like the couch anyways." You puff at the woman who's not satisfied with your answer. "Plus, I'm on the L-part of the couch, so it's practically like a bed!"

Your other friend, Mei Mei, chuckles at her screen. Icy blue hair pulled up in a bun with reading glasses positioned atop her forehead, probably counting her tips on her desk like she always does before bed. "My my, this is the fourth night this week. What did your man say to make you this upset?"

Memories of what happened before come back to you, and so does the exhausting irritation you've been trying to keep at bay.

It was a quiet night like this one as the rain fell hard on the silent streets. You've just put Tsumiki and Megumi to sleep and waited in the living room, watching a movie to pass the time. It was pretty late into the night when you heard the door open as drowsiness settled in. Nevertheless, you got up to greet the man you'd been waiting for coming from the entrance, but you weren't prepared for the sight that instantly woke you up.

Toji Fushiguro, groaning and leaning against the wall with his black jean jacket drenched from the rain. A hand was clenched on the left side of his torso, deep red tarnishing his plain white shirt. He was heaving in an attempt to even his breathing, but when he caught a glimpse of you standing before him, he was quick to try and play it off with a worn-out grin. "Hey, baby." His familiar deep voice was strained in subtle agony.

Worry bubbles within, and you rush towards him. "Oh my God, Toji, what happened!?" You remind yourself to not be too loud as the children are still asleep, so you rely on whisper yellings while walking him up to your shared bedroom.

Even in the room, Toji doesn't explain himself. Just silent hushes and cajoles that he's alright. "I'm fine, honey. Just tell me where's the first aid box." Pointing at the bathroom cabinet, you watch him leave your side to grab the kit. The crimson spilling from him is caused by a stab wound he reveals when he sits on the bathtub, lifting his shirt. You can feel your eyes water, imagining the pain he's going through when he hisses from putting on rubbing alcohol on the gash.

The words you want to say feel so forbidden. Your fingers fidget amongst themselves with the irregular beat of your chest. Don't say it, Y/n. Keep your mouth shut. Don't—

"Is this from work?"

Green eyes shoot back in your direction, and you immediately feel yourself sinking into a pool of regret.

Talk of Toji's occupation wasn't something you brought up much. Even at the beginning of your relationship, he didn't indulge in any insights about what he does, so you eventually quit after a few failed attempts. However, with all the nights he's come home while you sleep or the new scars you point out yet are brushed off, your anxiousness for him keeps festering. And seeing him with his own blood on his hands made you wonder how many nights he has pulled off doing such without your knowledge.

Toji's eyes go back to his wound. "Don't worry 'bout it." The stern tone of his voice has your blood turn cold. He didn't want to entertain this, especially in the wee hours of the night.

And yet you still persist. "No, Toji, I'm serious." You can see him glare at you through the raven bangs shading his forehead. A warning. But it doesn't stop you. "I'm getting worried about you."

From there was when the argument came. Every point you've made to him was shut down at once. His cold responses pierced you. Usually, you'd do what you can to avoid this type of confrontation. But now, it hurts even more when he doesn't cooperate with you, your concerns disregarded like rubbish.

"Damn it, Y/n!" Toji barks at you, seething through the physical pain as a fist bangs hard on the bathroom cabinet. "Why's it so hard for you to stay out of this?"

"Well, if you would tell me things instead of pushing me out the way, then maybe I wouldn't have to!" At this point, you're fighting the tears from falling. Your face hot with frustration, but you still speak. "Toji, I've done so much for you and the kids, and I—"

"No one told you to do—"

"Yet I STILL do!" It's your turn to yell. "I care about you deeply, same with Tsumiki and Megumi. I don't ask for much, Toji. But I want you to open your life to me just a little, even when you're hurt like this!"

His emerald eyes remain rigid despite your pleas to him. And what he said next had you still to the core. You can recall the beat of your heart corrupting your senses while the tears stride down.

"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."

"He said WHAT!!??" Utahime shrieks after you retell the situation to your friends.

You nod your head. "I just looked at him, and he looked at me. Then I turned, picked my pillow up, and headed downstairs to this couch."

To say the dark-haired woman was livid was an understatement. "And tell me WHY this fucker isn't the one sleeping on this couch, again??"

"Even if I did tell him to sleep on the couch, he probably would say something like, 'Tch, why should I? I pay bills for this damn house,' and yadda, yadda." This is true, apart from the man being injured, so having him move would've been immoral. "Plus, I just really wanted to get outta the room, so I went ahead and moved myself out."

"So? You pay bills too, what the hell!? Good God, Y/n," Utahime shakes her head. "You sure we can't pummel this dude?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I'm getting used to ignoring him when I see him around the house. But, oh my God, guys, his kids," the phone panned down to the plush toy and the pink, fluffy blanket. "Miki saw me sleeping here the other morning and gave me this blanket. And Gumi — he's such a sweetie. He gave me his favorite froggy toy to sleep with to scare off his dad from 'bothering me in my dreams.' "

"Hmm, how adorable." Mei Mei comments. "Funny how such darlings can come from a guy like that."

Utahime nods rapidly and throws in her opinion. "Listen, Y/n, you shouldn't think you outta be in every part of that man's life. Even so, he should at least know how to compromise. I mean, come on, you take care of him, the kids, the house, and go to work with us. All of that just for you to sleep on a couch!?"

"You're not gonna let this couch thing go, aren't you?" The pale blue-haired woman chuckles again, and Utahime sighs. "But she's right, Y/n. It takes a certain kind of person to have the patience to do what you do in a relationship with a single father and two children. I'm sure Utahime would've left with all her hair out."

The dark-haired one gets up from her bed and takes her device with her, heading to the bathroom to finish her skin care. "Now, why am I the one used as an example?"

"Because you're the most vocal about a relationship that isn't yours." A sly smile is painted on Mei Mei's face after she hears a 'hmph!' from the other as Utahime removes the mask and washes her face. "My point is that you like this man — love him even. But that love shouldn't cost you to be so emotionally drained. Perhaps he understands this, except it wasn't the perfect moment for you two to express yourselves. Maybe talk to him when you two stop the silent treatment."

All you do is hum aimlessly, too wrapped in what your friend said to give a proper response. Then you yawn, your body signaling you to finally rest. "I'll sleep on that thought. Night, girlies~~" You wave and send kisses to the other two. They do the same as you leave the video call, placing the phone on the coffee table and snuggling up with the blanket and plush toy.

You try to distract yourself by thinking of what you'll do tomorrow. You gotta get up and make breakfast for Tsumiki and Megumi before waking them up, then head to the station and take the bus to work. Maybe you can finally try that new café close by with Mei Mei and Utahime for lunch. And when you return home, you should whip up something fun for the kids to eat.

Perhaps, make something for Toji since he sometimes forgets to feed himself when you're not around. Or if he's leaving for work, wish him a safe trip back home like always. And...if he's down for it...you can find the right time......to talk...about......

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

The moment you closed your eyes, it felt as though you were sleeping on your own bed again. When you turn to your side, your body descends into the feeling of cold sheets beneath you. It was pretty comfy! Plus, the blanket—

Wait...Sheets?

Your eyes slowly open to the sight of bedsheets underneath you. Navigating out of the sleepy stupor, you make out parts of your surroundings to know that you're not in the living room anymore. You slowly rise up to face the door of the bedroom. Your shared bedroom.

A sudden cough alerts you, forced as if to grab your attention. A chill crawls up your spine. Oh God, no. You turn to the side to see the man accompanying his side of the bed. And there he was, Toji, lying on his side with his head resting on a hand, looking dead at you. His raven hair looked damp from a recent shower, sporting only a grey wifebeater and dark sweatpants.

"Hey," is all he says to you. No smirk and no nickname followed with the greeting. Just a simple address to you with his green eyes softly watching yours. You almost fall into their inviting spell the more you look at them.

Nonetheless, it's not compelling enough since you remember he's the man you fought with four days ago — the same man you weren't prepared to see right now. You quickly turn away from him and lift the comforter to exit the room. However, Toji grabbed your wrist before your feet could touch the floor, his grip too strong for you to pull away from him.

You avoid eye contact with him, your back facing him. "Toji, let me go. I'm going to sleep."

"Then sleep."

"On the couch, Toji." You try and pull again. Nothing.

"Fuck that, just sleep here. I didn't carry you up here for nothin'."

You shake your head as you exhale through your nose. Of course, he carried me here. "Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"

The words that left your lips surprised you and the grip around your wrist tightens. You didn't mean to say them, but it was the truth because they were his own words. Or did you?

Still facing away from Toji, you're unable to see his reaction. Oh shit, is he angry? Is he going to let me go after that?

"Darlin', please..." His deep voice hushed for only you to hear. "I just really need you with me here. Just for tonight...." His hold lessens, leaving you to decide whether you should stay.

The silence is uncomfortable for both of you — especially for Toji, who has you where he wants you to be, where you're supposed to be. As seconds pass when he doesn't hear from you, the nervousness that used to exist before your relationship rises back into the pit of his stomach. And his soul drops down when you remove your wrist from his hand.

Though, to his surprise, your hand lifts the comforter up while your legs move back on top of the mattress. You lay back down with a sigh, your back still facing Toji. "Did you give Miki back her blanket?"

Toji exhales quietly, situating himself back on his side of the bed. "Yeah, and Megumi with his toy."

You hum, and the silence fills the room once more.

Toji looks at nothing but your figure next to him, watching the rise and fall of your shoulder as you breathe silently, your face nestled comfortably on the pillow. To think it's been half a week since he last saw you in this room is hard to believe.

That night when you left him really stuck with him. The image of your face covered in tears was all he envisioned, the same with you grabbing your pillow and exiting the room. After tending his stab wound, he went down to talk it out. Yet when Toji saw you sleeping soundly on the couch with dried tears painting your pretty face, he didn't dare wake you up and just went to bed.

And it was worse the following days. Not only did he have you avoiding him at every chance, but he had to deal with the judgmental looks of his children. Never in his life has he seen Megumi give him glares that meant business. If looks could kill, Toji would be finished. And Tsumiki, his sweet little girl, now pesters him about being nice to Y/n, saying he should think about their feelings and apologize.

But what about his feelings? Does no one understand that he was just trying to keep you out of business that you didn't need to fret over? He's very aware that his job is not a normal one. It's dangerous, and anyone around him can get hurt or worse. Hence, keeping you away from this part of his life keeps you and his family safe. If not knowing he's an assassin keeps you from harm's way, why change that.

At least...that's what he thought, not what he said.

Even Shiu Kong, his handler, had something to say after telling him what had happened during lunch today. "Wow. I knew you were trash, but I didn't know you were that dumb, too." The man snickers when Toji shoves a middle finger his way. Shiu lights another cigarette after discarding the one he finishes. "Well, how were they supposed to know you were watching out for them? If someone you love comes to your front door bloody and sick, whose safety are you worrying about?"

Toji says nothing to that, letting the other man resume speaking some sense into him after taking a long sig from his cigarette.

"Look. I can't promise that this angel of yours wants to stay with you after what you said. That's all up to them. But until they decide that, I hope your dumbass realizes when someone sticks with you literally through blood and pain, that's someone who cares for you to the Moon and back. Not saying you should tell them what you do, but a nice word or two of comfort is all they need. If you're not that big of an idiot, reconcile and let them know you care about them."

"...Reconcile and let them know you care about them..."

If there's one thing that Toji has trouble with, it's knowing how to use his words. It was a tiny problem in the earlier stages of your relationship, but as time flew, you could guess how much the tall man cherishes you by his actions rather than words.

The older man knows that you know he loves you. But now, when he's pushed into a position where words are necessary to portray his real feelings for you, he feels stumped.

"If you were goin' to be a thorn on my side like this, I wouldn't have let you be in it in the first place."

Toji grimaces at his own words replaying in his head. Why the fuck did I say that?

"Whatever happened to you not wanting me to be a part of your life?"

Your words ring in his mind. Why did I fuckin' say that for? What the hell is wrong with me? What did—

"Toji?"

He returns to reality, eyes moving back to your still silhouette.

"I know you're still awake, so I'm gonna ask this." Toji braces himself for whatever your soft voice muttered. "Whatever job you're doing, is it a dangerous one?"

Shit. The dreaded talk is here, and Toji cannot escape it.

"Yeah."

"Are you good at your job?"

"It's the only thing I'm good at."

You nod your head aimlessly to his answer. Then you turn around to face the anxious older man. The moonlight peaking through the window blinds illuminates your face beautifully while Toji's breathing slows.

"I don't think that's true," you continue to answer. "You're good at being a father to Tsumiki and Megumi. Not the best, but a decent one nonetheless. You're also good at caring for me; letting me live with you and your family proves that. And lastly," Toji gulps with a dry throat.

"You're good at loving. You say you're lousy at it, but there's love in everything you do for me. It's there when you look at me whenever you think I'm unaware. Or when you silently grab my hand when in crowded areas. Or," a small chuckle exits from you. "When you carry me up from downstairs to the bedroom."

Toji's jade eyes lock in with yours, waiting for you to avert your gaze away from him. But you don't. You keep looking at him. You keep spoiling him. This type of recognition is something Toji never thought he deserved, so you giving it to him so effortlessly makes his growing guilt eat him alive.

"I care about you so much, Toji." You shift closer to Toji and bring a hand to his cheek, causing the man to lift his brows. Your face is only a few inches away from his. "What happened yesterday really scared me. All I could think about was the wound and all the scars you have. Where they all came from and how deep they are. Or......you never coming back."

"Baby..." Toji absently refers to you with a sweet name, placing his big hand on top of yours on his cheek. He lets you finish.

"I know you can't guarantee coming back to me unscathed, but I just want you to promise me something: please let me know you'll be okay. When you're gone, I can only hope you make it back home safely. So, just promise to not get yourself killed." A sheepish smile is used to ease the serious tone. "Even if I'm not in your life, I'm sure Tsumiki and Megumi would be pretty upset to not have you around."

Toji scoffs. "Trust me, I'm sure they'd leave me the moment you step out the door." That makes you laugh, and it has the man swooning hearing it. His hand moves to your cheek, and you allow him to stroke it with a thumb. "And I wouldn't blame 'em. Havin' such a beautiful and loving angel slip through my fingers?"

"Toji..."

"I'm sorry for what I said and scarin' you like that. If you aren't here with me, as part of my life and all, then I don't think I can't make a promise like that. You're too good fr' me, and I'm sorry if I didn't seem to appreciate you until now."

And you know he's genuine with his plea, his green eyes gauging your reaction to see if he's worth another chance. All you do is sigh and lift yourself up, wipe his wet bangs from his forehead, and kiss it. "Not the best apology, but I accept it."

He drones, relishing the feeling of your lips on him again. "So, are we cool, kid?"

"Yeah," you peer down at him with a smile, and he does the same. "We're cool. However, if you ever yell at me again, don't be surprised when I pack my bags."

"Oh yeah?" Toji raises a brow. "I'll be careful, then."

"You better." Hushed chuckles are shared to comfort the silence, enjoying the closeness between you two that felt like forever to have again. Just the two of you with you giggling above him and the light from the window cascading an ethereal glow to your features. Your teeth shied behind pretty lips, lips he wanted to kiss.

And you catch him looking. You notice him wanting you, needing you. Just as much as you need him. You slowly lean down to his face, planting your soft lips on his rigid pair.

Toji's surprised by the action for a moment, but he moans into your mouth and pulls you into him closer. The kiss starts off nice and slow yet quickly changes to one filled with passion and desire. Teeth clashing, tongues exchanging, sweet moans paired with aroused groans.

As you two are lost in each other's lips, Toji carefully maneuvers you on your back with him on top of you. Your legs find purchase around his waist as he rocks into your core, rocking your hips together in a steady rhythm by the second.

His hand snakes down to your lower region, fingers brushing past your pajamas and onto your panty-covered vulva. The intrusion has you breaking the kiss with heavy breaths filling the silent, moonlit room. He busses your chin down to your neck as shaky mewls slip out your mouth.

"Haaah, Toji, we shouldn't. It's late—Hmmm..." Your whimpers don't stop him from pulling your pajamas and undergarments off.

"It's okay, sweetheart, lemme make it up to you." He says in-between kisses on your clavicle, pulling up your shirt to reveal your bare chest. His free hand fondles a breast before his mouth goes for the other. "Let Daddy take care of you..."

The sudden combination of his thick fingers intruding between your nether folds and his mouth sucking and licking your sensitive nipple has you whining in bliss, your hand gripping his wet raven hair resulting in a satisfied groan from the older man. Toji missed this — missed you — close to him, under him on this bed.

One finger plays with your wet chasm for a few moments before it's inserted inside. A shriek is let out as your cunt adjusts to the digit. "Mmmph! Oh God, Daddy, your fingers...Ahhh!"

A soft 'pop' leaves from Toji's mouth when pulled back from sucking on your nipple, his tongue lapping around the sensitive nob. "What's that, mama? My fingers feelin' good?" You nod rapidly, but that's not the answer Toji's looking for, so he bites on your nipple gingerly yet hard enough for you to jolt. "Daddy wants your words, angel."

"Yesss, yes, your fingers feel soo good," You mewl to him, and Toji chuckles dangerously low while rewarding you with another digit in your slick-coated hole. His abrupt middle finger joins his forefinger in attacking your velvety walls, and your voice shifts higher in ecstasy.

The sounds of Toji's tongue licking around your nipple coincide with the squelches between his fingers and your gushy slit. Your brain starts to short-circuit.

"Ahh! Ahhh! Daddy, I can feel—I'm gonna," Toji's fingers pick up the pace. You're so close to release, you can feel it.

"Gonna be good and cum on Daddy's fingers, right, baby?"

"Mhmmm, I wanna co—Oh, Jesus, I wanna come. Hoooooh..."

"Then go ahead, princess. Mess 'em up." Toji comes up to kiss your forehead as his fingers go irrationally fast, and a thumb sneaks to press down on your unattended clit. With a choked cry, you spasm and cream on his thick digits. He watches you finish, loving the image of your head pushed back on pillows and your body arching towards him.

He dismisses himself from you once you're done, licking his fingers of your essence and taking off his wifebeater and pants. The image of his free cock has you biting your lower lip in anticipation as you discard your shirt to the bedroom floor as well. When you look at Toji, you notice the bandaged patch on his left side. He sees you glimpsing, quick to ease your concerns. "I'll be fine, darlin'. Won't go too crazy." Looking at his scarred body in a new light, you nod and follow his lead.

Toji carries your legs up to move to the right of his shoulder, situating you two into a mating press. His dick aligns with your glossy cunt. Precum meets slick and lubricates the two sexes pushing into each other. Toji coaxes you. "Too tense, ma. Relax fr' me." You prepare yourself with even breaths, and the man pushes into you with each exhale.

The head of his cock enters, a cry departs from your lips, and Toji hisses with the tightness of your slit. His hips go slow, making sure your walls accommodate every vein and dent of his dick as it ventures deep within you. Hits to your G-spot have you babbling incoherent prayers, gripping the sheets under you.

When his cockhead finally meets your cervix, you sob his name in rapture. Toji smirks, dialing the pace of his thrusts up. "Mmmm, Christ, yr' tight pussy. So fuckin' perfect fr' me."

Every stroke prompts a euphoric moan from you, drool escaping your lips as your mind turns into putty. The noises of his pelvis smacking on your ass feel so wrong to hear, yet you can't help but grip around Toji's girthy length. It gets worse when he presses his entire body weight on you, forcing you to take his cock and abusing your tender cervix with every deep rut.

As for Toji, he's enjoying seeing you writhe and pant under his bow. The corner of your eyes sprinkled with tears, your mouth wailing in euphoric chants, the way your cunt clamps around his dick when he grinds his hips deep onto your come-covered folds. He can never get enough of this, enough of you, driving him so fucking crazy.

"Daddyyy, I'm gonna—Ahhaaaa!!" Toji's now going at an erratic cadence, his cock churning your insides as his heavy balls slapping your folds being the only things you can listen to. Your whines get higher and higher while chasing your climax. "Cu-cumming, I'm gonna cumm—Ohhh!!"

"Hnngh! Oh, shit, fuck, fuck. Me too, kid, me too," Toji groans into your ear. God, his deep voice makes your brain mush. "Oooooh, want me to fill you up, mama?"

Your head nods frantically, tears now staining your face. "Yessss, please, Daddy!! I want it!" Toji hears your pleas and smashes his mouth into yours, moans swapped between lips with tongues daubed in saliva. A hand is moved down to your clit, pinching the spot between Toji's forefinger and thumb. And your pussy tightens around his cock one last time before you peak onto him.

The fluttery spasms of your walls clenching around Toji have him finish in three deep strokes, spurting his seed inside you before he relaxes his heaving body on yours. The kiss breaks with you two huffing and panting, the final moments of your high finally depleting out of your nude bodies.

His green eyes take in your dazed expression, calloused fingers wiping your tears away. "How's that for an apology?"

"You pervy old man," You chuckle to yourself, so out of breath. "You're more of a man of action anyway, so you pulled through. "

"Hehe, I'll take it." He cups your jaw with his big hand, your eyes locked in with his. "I love you so fuckin' much, baby. Sorry for ever making you think otherwise."

You blink once. Twice. Your hands come up to his face, and a finger swipes away black bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead. "I love you too, Toji. I would've left your ass if you weren't."

Toji smiles and leans in to kiss your swollen lips with his scared ones; however, a sharp pain stops him, prompting the big man to yell out. Worried, you try to assess what's wrong. Then you see it: the blood-stained bandage on his left side.

A gasp catches his attention, and Toji turns to what you're gawking at. His body freezes, seeing the trail of blood exit from his reopened wound.

"Ahhhh shit..."

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊✩₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

"Well, well, well," Utahime smirks at you through the screen. "I see you're not on the couch anymore."

You smile sheepishly as you lie on the pillows and headboard of your shared bed. Tsumiki and Megumi huddle beside you, napping blissfully around your presence under Tsumiki's pink blanket.

"Yeah, we made up last night." To avoid disturbing the children, you reply in whispers.

Mei Mei hums. "I see that. I assume you two had a nice talk about it?" You open your mouth, but no words come out. The two women quirk up a brow.

"Oh? I take it that there was more than just talking." Utahime chimes in, her smile going ear to ear while your eyes avoid the screen. "No wonder we didn't see you at work today. The dick so good it saved your relationship, huh?" She laughs at you hushing her up for using crude language while the children sleep. "Well, happy you two figured it out. But don't think I won't come over there and beat his ass the next time I see you on that couch."

"I second that," Mei Mei agrees. "But Uta can do the beatdown; I'm more interested in what he has in his wallet."

"Not much, I'll tell you that." you correct your friend. "I'm the one who takes care of his finances for safe-keeping."

"Well, that makes things easier for me."

The three of you laugh through your devices. Then you hear heavy footsteps drawing closer from the stairs. "Oop, he's back now. I'll talk to you guys later!" You hurriedly wave and kiss your friends goodbye before ending the video call. The bedroom door opens, and there he is.

Toji flashes a quick smile at you before it vanishes once he sees his kids nestled around you. "I was hopin' to get some alone time with you."

You giggle as you brush Tsumik's hair away from her pretty face. "You're back early. Is your wound okay now?"

"Hmph, yeah, thanks to you pushin' me out the way and grabbin' for the first aid kit." Toji pokes fun at you for the event from last night, where you immediately pushed the brawny man off of you and ran for the tools necessary to treat his open injury the moment you saw blood. You chuckle and watch the tall man climb into bed. "Doc said it should fully heal within a week or two. Why the squirts here?"

"They were happy to find me back in the room for a nap, so they joined me and kept me company." Megumi snuggles close to you for warmth, and you pick him up to your chest.

"Well, they're takin' my spot."

"I don't think they care."

Toji pinches your nose for your snarky remark, and you wriggle out of his fingers with quiet chuckles. His hand then cups your face and pulls you to face him, his emerald eyes softly gazing into you.

"You know I love the hell outta you, right?" His deep voice sounds sweet to the ears. You purr into his hand. "And I hope you know I'm the same for you." He nods. You smile.

He hesitates for a split second, but Toji leans close to kiss your tender lips. Only for a tiny hand to come smacking him in the face, halting him from further movement. To the shock of you both, Megumi was back awake, sending a mean look at his father.

Toji groans in annoyance. "What was that for, brat?"

"For making Y/n sad." Megumi keeps his hold on you secure as he and Toji mean-mug each other. Queuing Tsumiki from her slumber, defending you from her father. "Apologize or stay away!" The little girl warns the older man.

You're quick to break up the mini-fight amongst the Fushiguros. "Alright, kids, no need to worry about me. Your dad already apologized to me by promising to take us out for dinner tonight." Childish faces beam in delight while Toji shifts to instant puzzlement. "Now go get ready and put on your shoes!" Tsumiki and Megumi do just that, rushing out of your shared room and to their own.

When you can't hear the pitter-patter of little feet anymore, you feel big strong arms haul you into Toji's embrace, attacking you with tickles. You try to squirm your way out, but it's no use when he uses his body to cage you in. "Who told you to make promises on my name, huh? You tryna be bratty with me, kid?" He grins at your ticklish suffering.

"Then don't you—Oh God, stop!" It's difficult finishing your statement while fighting back laughter and screams. "Don't you ever yell at me again!"

He stops tickling you, thank God. You catch your breath as Toji looks at you under him with a proud smile. "I don't plan on it, sweetie. Now c'mere."

Toji finally has his lips placed on your soft ones, and you happily return the favor by wrapping your arms around his neck to pepper him with delicate kisses. But the romantic atmosphere vanishes when the children come and dogpile on Toji after hearing your ticklish screams, forcing the older Fushiguro off of you to deal with his kids with tickles of their own.

Observing the children laugh and squirm under Toji's merciless fingers, a soft smile adorns your face watching the domestic display before you and thinking how lucky you are to witness such a thing. Well, that's before all three of them turn to you and bring you another ticklish horror.

And despite the torture, your screams and giggles are filled with pure joy and contentment, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

[txttletale]

hey not trying to be a shithead but genuinely curious; and not saying it isnt, but what makes honest hearts like super racist? because, okay its been a while but i dont remember it being *that* bad?

am i missing something? (probably)

well, essentially, the whole dlc hinges its plot on its idea of 'tribal' society vs. 'civilized' society. this is like... a distinction with origins in 19th century scientific racism used to argue that indigenous peoples were 'primitive' and 'backwards', a lesser form of life compared to the more developed 'civilized' people. and this is a distinction that is everywhere in all the fallout games, including new vegas (i think it's super fucking racist that the white gloves practice of cannibalism is constantly narratively linked to their 'tribal origins' and described in the terms of a regression or degeneration)--but honest hearts is about it and so it's really inescapable.

joshua sawyer can say whatever he likes about multi-ethnic diverse groups or whatever but the tribes in honest hearts are very clearly inspired by racist stereotypes about native americans--they are naive, gullible morons (follows-chalk can't understand the concept of a casino) at worst and noble savages with (textually) biblical innocence at best. their names, their art, their societies--all just a white guy's idea of "vaguely native american" without any research or care.

and imo worst of all (and this is something im aware the devs have properly acknowledged) they have absolutely no agency--your role in the dlc is to be a "civilized" outsider who tells them which of two white "civilized" mormons to listen to. none of the 'tribals' are able to make their own decisions or lead themselves--they need a mormon missionary to tell them what to do! there is no way to resolve the dlc without picking which white mormon missionary they should listen to other than just murdering everyone indiscriminately.

and, like--i am aware that honest hearts thinks it is gesturing towards a critique of these ideas. you can criticize the paternalism daniel shows towards the sorrows, and the dlc clearly intended it to be criticized--but that criticism is weak and hollow when the only way to follow up on it is to put a different white mormon in charge. it is the most archetypal white saviour narrative possible--and yes, i also know daniel was 'supposed to be asian', but that doesn't change anything because he is in fact, as the "civilized" missionary preaching paternalistically to the "primitive tribals", fundamentally white-coded

so i mean yea it's racist because it relies on racist stereotypes about native americans, mandates that a white person come and take charge of these poor stupid 'tribes'--but even if you changed all that, it's fundamentally about an idea of 'civilization vs. tribal society' that it accepts as a true and meaningful distinction as its core premise, and that is just a straight up racist premise.

(and the reason i keep bringing up that both daniel and josh are mormons is that mormons have a long and storied history of brutal violence and colonialism against indigenous peoples, from their original violent settlement of utah to their 'indian placement program' to their deeply racist scripture, which makes their portrayal as benevolent white saviours particularly galling and repulsive)

[kingofthe-egirls]

SAY IT: LUFFY x Y/N

(cw: sex, luffy asking you to say dirty things, breeding kink, spoilers post wano)

(a/n: i am giggling like a maniac)

words: 1.9k

****

Luffy loves hearing the sound of his name.

It’s usually in distress or anger, that someone calls his name after he’s done something wrong. But when you say his name, all whispered and broken, his hips pounding into yours as he does something right for a change, over and over again…it’s addicting.

No sarcasm, no hits over the head.

Just your arms around his shoulders as he makes you squeal his name in pleasure.

“Again,” he pants, hair sticking to his forehead with sweat, “Say my name again.”

“Luffy!” You yelp out, after a particularly sharp thrust. He’s got your legs draped over his arms. He growls, something deep and low in his throat, before slowing down. He hits it slow and deep, staring down at you with his jaw jut forward.

“Again.”

Luffy has gray eyes—black in the dark—and his pupils are blown. He has sharp clavicles and broad shoulders, scars on his forearms and bruises on his knuckles. His hands are strong and wide.

He sinks his fingers into the flesh of your thighs, holding your legs open as he sits on his knees. You reach up to run your fingers through his dark, sweaty hair. You push it far back enough to reveal his sharp widow’s peak. Luffy is an art piece.

“Say it, slut.”

He’s staring down at you, slowing his pace to a stop. You whine, missing his movements, the massaging of his cock inside you, and you kick. He wraps a thick hand around your knee, forcing your legs open wider.

“Say it.”

His eyes are burning with a fierce passion, the gray sparking obsidian in the blue dark of his cabin.

Your voice is stuck in your throat, suddenly so aware of his strength. He’s Mugiwara no Luffy. He’s the captain of the Straw Hat pirates. He has a fleet and a three billion berry bounty.

He beat Kaido.

He’s liberated countless lives.

He’s eaten the human-human fruit, mythic type, Nika.

He’s a god.

And he’s asking you to say his name.

Luffy swallows, suddenly dropping to his elbows on either side of your head. He buries his face in your neck and shudders out a heavy breath.

“Please, baby,” he moans, “Please say m’name, sounds so good when you scream my name, your voice is so pretty baby, please say it~” He whispers in your ear, his breath tickling your skin as his hips start to shallowly thrust into yours.

You wind your fingers in his hair, lips at his ear, as you whisper what he wants to hear. “Luffy,” the first breath of his name is barely audible, “Luffy, Luffy, Luffyyyy~,” you drawl out his name as he groans. His hips speed up.

“That’s it baby, lemme hear ya,” his arms circle your shoulders and upper back, holding you to him in missionary. He rocks against you. “Don’t stop,” he whines into your neck, “Please keep goin’, wanna hear my name when I cum, please baby?” His words are dirty, slurred out and drunken. Luffy’s always like this: demanding one minute and pleading the next. He’s everything to you.

“Luffy, yes captain, Luffy fuck yes—!” Your whispers turn to cries, turn to prayers, turn to whines.

“Luffy Luffy Luuffyyyy~!”

“That’s it, babygirl, just like that,” he croons as his thrusts turn hard and fast. “Take it f’me baby, take it~”

So you do.

You cum around Luffy’s cock with a wail, a shudder, a release. He giggles as he sits up to feel the wetness on his abdomen. He examines the squirt on his palm with a raunchy smile.

“So good f’me, squirtin’ like that,” he mumbles, grinning at your blush.

He crawls back over you, softly laying his weight down on top of you. He presses soft little kisses to your cheeks and forehead. “Hm?” He whispers, making sure you’re okay, “Like that, hm, baby? S’good, isn’t it?” Luffy’s voice is low and cloying. You whine, nodding as you wind your arms around his shoulders. He’s always so sweet to you in bed.

Luffy snickers a little, speeding up.

The feel of his cock is heaven.

“What if—ah—what if I wanna fill ya up?” He hides his face in your neck, licking a stripe up to your jaw. He smooches beneath it, behind your ear, along your chin. His voice rasps low as he dirty talks you into oblivion. “Wanna pump ya full of my cum, wanna see it pourin’ outta ya…” He speeds up a little, “Wanna fuck a baby into ya,” he presses his forehead to yours, his hips snapping in place. He’s got you on your back, legs splayed over his arms as he crushes you into the bed. “Ganna fuck ya full of my kids, hm, sweetheart? Wan’ captain’s kids?”

His words burn holes into your sanity: fully sending you over the edge of desire. You cum around his cock with shudders and a gasp that makes Luffy giggle to hear it.

He slows.

“Say it, baby~” He whispers in your ear, his body pressing hot and heavy against yours. You’ve melted into the bed. His hips are now lazily thrusting against yours in a slow, arrhythmic pace. “Say it or I won’t speed up,” he giggles, pulling back to stare at your face. “Say how bad ya wan’ it,” he murmurs, tracing your face with careful fingers. He’s staring down at you in awe, hips all but stopped as he waits for your answer.

You squirm, the covers all sweaty and tangled beneath you. Luffy’s breeding kink only comes out when he’s really riled up. His sweet face is flushed, all amber gold with strawberries. He’s smiling, even as he starts to pull out.

“Want it!” You squeak, not wanting to lose even an inch of his cock inside you. He slows, pushing back in with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Want what, baby?”

You pout.

“No fair…,” you mumble, squirming around. He giggles, sitting up on his knees so he can hold your hips in place. “S’embarrassing…,” you whine. He arches an eyebrow.

“Embarrassed to say how bad ya need captain’s cum? Dontcha need it, though?” He asks curiously, tilting his head. As if he actually didn’t know the answer.

You scoff.

“Fine, I need it,” you whisper, lips pouting as you turn your head to the side. Luffy grips your cheeks in one hand, suddenly rough as he forces you to look at him. His eyes are a sharp black as he stares down at you with a cold curiosity.

“Not good enough,” he states. He sits up, and pulls out halfway. His abs shudder with heavy breaths. He pins you to the bed with his gaze. “Say how bad ya need it. I know you’re a slut f’me,” he pulls out a little more, and you whine for the lack of him. He grins. “See?”

Fuck.

You don’t know why you hesitate, something about the intensity Luffy gets when he’s like this…it’s electric.

Luffy pulls out all the way.

“Guess ya don’t want it,” he says with a shrug. He reaches for his hat on the foot of the bed, placing it on his spiky black hair. Just as he’s about to stand, you kick a leg out to stop him. You sit up, grabbing for his arm. Your fingers squeeze around his rock hard bicep. Fuck.

“Need it.”

Luffy looks at you the way he looks at food. Ravenous. He’s over you in an instant. He doesn’t need to ask you again; you’re babbling for him.

“Need you so bad, Luffy! Need your cum inside me,” he’s positioned himself over you, sitting on his knees again, “Wanna feel it, wanna feel—,” you hiccup, stumbling over such dirty words, “Wanna feel you pump me full—of your cum,” you whisper, as Luffy lines himself up with your entrance. He tsks, shaking his head.

“Louder.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, “Luffy! Want it so bad!” Your voice is cracked, almost foreign with how lustful it sounds to your own ears. “Want—want your kids, Luffy, wanna feel you fuck a baby into me!”

Luffy smiles, and finally, finally pushes all the way back in.

“That’s a good princess,” he says, low. His hands sear into your hips, as he pulls you flush against him. He’s big.

He smirks. “Now, was that so bad?”

You huff, still hot from the filthy words he’s made you say.

Luffy starts fucking you slowly, eyes locked on the place where you connect. He drags his cock in and out, savoring every moment. He licks his lips. Head tilted back, he moans.

“Say my name, princess~”

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him in closer to you. He hooks one leg over his shoulder, lowering down to kiss you. You whisper a broken Luuffyyy into his lips.

“That’s good,” he pants, speeding up. His thrusts are smooth, languid. “Say my name til I tell ya ta stop. Don’t wanna ask anymore.” His voice is low, growled against your lips. You swallow his words like honey. You start speaking, and don’t stop.

“Captain Luffy, please Luffy please don’t stop fucking me, I need it so bad baby I need captain’s cock!” You heave in a ragged breath, pleasure clouding your senses until there is nothing else but him.

And that’s how he likes it.

Luffy overwhelms you, speeding up as he smothers you with his weight. It’s all you can do to hold on.

“Want your cum Luffy want it so bad,” you start rocking your hips upward to meet his thrusts. It’s still slow and sensual, as Luffy enjoys every minute of it. His eyes are closed in bliss.

“Luffy, captain, you’re so sexy baby you’re so good at sex, Luffy, don’t ever wanna stop Luffy Luffy Luffy!,” your voice starts rasping, gone pitchy with pleasure. You start saying his name over and over, all Luffy, Luffy, Luffyyy~

Luffy is starting to get close to his edge, you can tell by the way his eyes squeeze shut and his hands tighten on your waist. He pulls out for a second, flipping you over onto all fours before you can protest.

He shoves his way back into your pussy, hard and fast as a jackhammer.

“Fuck, sweets,” he pushes your head down into the mattress, finishing inside you with a rough thrust and a strangled groan.

He pumps you full, all white hot and gooey. Your pussy twitches as pulls out, as he watches it spill down your thighs. He swipes a finger through it, before bringing it up to your lips. “Suck,” he commands, so you do. His spunk tastes awful, but it’s his so you love it, no matter the taste.

Finally, Luffy sighs.

He flops backward on the mattress, while you stay bent over on all fours. You’re blissed out, happy as a satisfied cat. You see Luffy drag a hand down his face, before you poke his thigh with your foot. “Captain?”

He lets out a loud groan.

Luffy sits up on his elbows, all flushed and sweaty. “Say I did a good job?” he commands, suddenly shy as he asks for reassurance.

You sit up, crawling over to him even as his spunk still drips out of you.

You bring his hand to your face, his palm on your cheek, before you kiss it. “You’re the best.”

He smiles, and thunks his head back into the mattress. “So are you.”

You smile, and lean down to cuddle your captain. He’s soft and sweaty, all warm from exertion. Your bodies melt together, made perfectly for each other, as you both fall into a deep, pleasurable sleep.

[mechaknight-98]

Team Up I (NSFW) FT Chodan and Momo

Authors Note: Have y'all checked out Qwer… I mean Sheesh. Also I am aware that I may have a type. Part II: Coming eventually

The first time I met Chodan I was at a random bookstore in California looking for the most recent volume of Kaiju no. 8, Go Go Loser Ranger and ultraman. I noticed her nabbing a few copies of bleach (my favorite of the big three) she was wearing a simple white shirt and dark pants. Cautiously I approach she tracks me and I force my most confident and resolute smile. I think of an opener but she beats me to it. 

“I see you like manga. How do you feel about Bleach.” She asked. 

“It is my favorite of the big three. I love its expressive art style and how the author portrays and draws “black characters” his portrayal is only second to the author of Soul Eater and Fire Force” I respond. The lady smiles like I passed her test.

“My name is Chodan,” I nod 

“Okay Chodan  I dig it, but seeing you up close up you have this weird sense of familiarity.” I lied. Chodan  smirked

“Well, that depends are you on twitch.” She asked seductively she was surprised when I shook my head. Seeing the opportunity I say, 

“I got it,” I say mock recollecting, “you’ve been the lady running around in my dreams” Chodan laughs and smiles.

“You’re funny I like that. What’s your name?” She questioned 

                        Two years later

“Okay, Cho. I am at arrivals,” I say to my girlfriend who’s been driving around the airport waiting for me. She had flown in the week prior for a series of shows across Japan. I was flying in to see "League of Legends" World championship which was in Tokyo this year. I was also staying an extra two days to see the showcase because I love her so much. She didn’t know it though. 

When I saw her I smiled. “Hey sexy thing, you waiting for me?” she asked as she rolled the window. I smile as I get in 

“You know you saying that makes me sound like a prostitute,” I tease.

Cho smiles back, “Well maybe I think you are a cheap whore. You would still be my favorite though.” I laugh with her as she drives off.

“So where are we heading?” I ask as she drives from the airport.

“Our little love nest than a PC Bang probably, don't worry though they have a card shop attached so you can play commander,” Chodan said with a smile. 

“You know me so well,” babe I say as she pulls up to the Hotel’s parking Chodan smiles before kissing my cheek. We get into the hotel and I set my bag down and take in the view. 

“You like it?” Chodan asks. I nodded and turned to her

“Yes, but I like this view more,” I say as I watch her take off her jacket and reveal her tight tank top. I kiss her and she chuckles

"You're such a slut you know that," She teases while bringing me in for a passionate kiss. her hands wander across my chest and arms before she breaks the kiss and lifts the tank top over her head. her eyes are wide with lust as I smile before responding

"Well, when my girlfriend looks this hot how can I say no, ya know?"

"Well, Why can't I just be sexy without my whore of a boyfriend needing to fuck me?" She teases back. Playing her game I respond in kind

"I can take a nap we don't have to do this," I respond. Cho responds aggressively by throwing my shirt off me and forcing my pants open. 

"I have gone without this evil but delicious cock for 4 months. you are not going to deprive me of it any longer," she growls and I worry slightly because she's never done that before. but my fears are soon pushed away as she takes my cock into her mouth. Her tight vacuum seal around my rod is intoxicating and causes me to begin moaning for her

“Ah fuck Jihye,” I moan out reverting to her real name. She takes me in further than she ever has as her throat relaxes around my cock and her eyes scream at me to go deeper, so I lightly grab the sides of her head before fulfilling her request. I plunge my cock deeper. Her gags and my moans are the only audible sounds resonating in the room I look down at my lovely girlfriend and gone is the cute girl I have come to love and cherish replaced with a hungry predator. She devoured my rod with the fervor of a starved animal. 

Her adorable bright eyes left dark tainted by the shadow of lust as her throat stretched to accommodate me. Her eyes invite, no demand I cum down her throat as she challenges me to fuck her face harder, which I do. I thrust with more force as she gags more on my cock her eyes roll into the back of her head signifying her satisfaction. Her spit is flying her makeup is ruined but she is euphoric in her body as I watch her finger herself. Unable to hold off any longer my dick churns massive amounts of cum down her throat as I exploded into her tight wet throat. Chodan moans causing an almost secondary orgasm on top of my original one but I hold out. I needed to own her pussy as well. When I left her mouth she stared at me with a disheveled but blissed-out look, 

“Thank God I had that itch in my throat for months, and only your cock could scratch it” Chodan joked before stripping the rest of her clothes. Her tight body enticed me to further depravity but what sealed the deal was her sizable bust swaying in the cool air hypnotizing me to fuck her for real this time. I grabbed Chodan wordlessly causing her to yelp before I stuff her pussy with my cock 

“Hey? Ooh fuck.” her voice went from a high-pitched yelp to a pleased moan. My cock invaded her insides as she said, “Oh is my slut gonna cum again?” she always knew the words to set me off as I began slowly I pulled out just enough for the tip to remain in her before slamming my whole length back in. Chodan moaned no longer having the mental capacity to do anything other than take my cock which she always did so well. I groped her mesmeric orbs she called breasts and forced her body to be flush with mine instead of having her bent over the bed. My primal instincts took over as I thrust into like an animal trying to impregnate her. The harder the better. 

Chodan throughout all could only moan before she came on my cock. Her moans rang through my ears like melodic percussion as she lost herself to the pleasure but I as her drenched and sloshed pussy squelched and squeezed my high was not far off. I explode into my girl as she moans “Oh God yes, oh God yes,” we collapsed onto the bed with my cock still inside her. When we woke up she rode my cock again to her and my fulfillment. Then we took a quick chaste shower Cho and I went to the PC Bang she mentioned.

You and Momo were heading to PC Bang after a long and stressful day at work. As you walk in Chodan and I bump into y'all.

"Oh Gomen," I reply. You look at me with a curious look as I return the look.

We stare at each other for a bit of time before Momo says to Chodan, how pretty her hair is. you notice my deck bag and ask if I play mtg in English. I nod and you gesture for Chodan and me to join you. Momo and Chodan split off while we find a nice table to play at. 

"Do you play modern?" You ask.

I nod.

"Oh good, I hate 1v1 commander."

"I do as well," I reply, "that is why I built Domain Zoo," I added.

"Okay good you are playing an archetype and not Jank," you reply relieved pulling out indomitable creativity. We get set up and I face you. I pull out my dice. 

"Do you want to go first or should I?" I ask. You point to yourself and I give you the thumbs up. We shuffle up and you and pregame action I play Leyline of the guildpact. You give me a thumbs up and play your turn 1 Ragavan. It gets to my turn I play an arid mesa and tap it for an Esper sentinel. you look at me surprised and then on your next turn you cast a bolt (directed at me)  and then I draw a card. You swing Ragavan and pull a leyline of the guild pact off of my top. I shrug at this, but before we can get further into the game the building begins to shake. We look at each other and run outside. As expected a Kaiju is wreaking havoc on the city. I take out my transformer and you take out yours as we do our transformations “Hyperion” you yell

“Hyperion X” I yell

We transform and fight the kaiju. Through our combined efforts it honestly barely an issue. We deactivated our transformations before the HDF could even arrive. 

“So you’re also a Hyperion?” you ask. I nod and quantify 

“But I was born here,” your eyes narrow and you respond

“Hmm, that’s a first,” you say.

I shrug and reply

“Well my parents like this planet, as do you it seems,” I tease as I watch our girlfriends walk up to us in their full HDF combat attire. 

“Oh good Dota you’re safe,” Chodan says relieved. You and Momo look at me confused. 

“Dota?” You question.

“Oh right, I never introduced myself. My name is Dakota King but everyone calls me Dota usually.” I respond you nod and then Momo says,”

“Okay well then Dota and Chodan how about we get some lunch since our date was ruined,” Cho and I nod as we follow the older couple. We went to a nearby restaurant and had a pleasant experience where got to know each other. I learned that Momo and you were part of Japan's HDF force (You were a cleaner, and Momo was a fighter), and we also learned that Chodan's subgroup would be working with Momo's group for one of the upcoming showcases. After we ate our fill Chodan and I left.

"They seem nice," Momo says to you when the two of you get back to your shared apartment. 

You nod, and reply, "I wonder if they have any other plans? Maybe we can see them again."

Mom lights up, "Ooh I'd love that," she says happily. The two of you then quickly discard the other's clothing and begin making out. Momo moans into the kiss. 

"Someone is excited," you say to her. Momo nods, 

"I have you all to myself tonight, and I am going to enjoy it," Momo said. 

[cindyss]

teacher tom 😍

• - MY GOOD GIRL - •

PAIRING(S): prof tom riddle x student fem. reader

WARNING(S): jealousy, smut, teacher x student, extreme dominance, age gap, pet names during sex.

SUMMARY: you and prof. tom are in a secret relationship and when one of his students invites you to the yule ball in his own class, he doesn’t let that slide and punishes u for it.

A/N: thank you smm for all the support on my last post🫶, if anyone wants to be tagged in any of my posts lmk and if you have any ideas requests are open💗.

——————————————————

This year at Hogwarts, you got a new DADA teacher, as usual, professor tom. He was handsome, he was tall and muscular, his features all defined, one look at his eyes and you’d pass out. He was calm, but wise. He was smart and quiet unkind, he was never disrespectful though.

You couldn’t help but feel a bit of attraction toward the man, and to your surprise, you would always catch him glancing at you. He would also find ways to talk to you, after tests, during class, after class, whenever he saw you in the hallways, etc…

One time he asked you to stay after class, so you admitted your feelings and he kissed you. Thats how you got in a 4 month relationship with your DADA professor, however, you couldn’t tell anyone because he was a 24 year old Slytherin professor, and you were a 7th year Gryffindor student.

You get to class early today, your last one, defense against the dark arts (DADA), and to your surprise, ur early. You take a seat next to Hermione and Cormac walks up to you.

He had a big crush on you, and everyone in the school pretty much was aware of it, students, professors, all of them.

“Hii pretty girl” he spoke with a grin. “Heyy” you reply back nicely. “So the yule ball is coming around, and if you don’t have anyone to take you, i am more than happy to take you.” he said. “Of course Cormac, I’ll definitely think about it” you smile at him. “alright beautiful” he smiles back then he coughs.

Then he coughs again, and again, and again, and again, and he’s choking! He’s on his knees, coughing hysterically. Everyone gathers around him trying to stop the cough and as your eyes dart around the room, you find professor tom stood at the door, mumbling something, he was the one doing this!

You had to make it stop, “Professor!” you call out. “Help him, he just began choking” just then, Cormac stops choking and tom sprints across the room to him. He kneels down next to him, “just take him to the medical wing, he’ll be fine” this man was insane.

Just then, Neville and Ron help take him out of the classroom and the lesson begins. The whole time, your bf doesn’t look at you at all. Was he avoiding you?

Class finishes and you decide you wanted to talk to tom about this. You were the only student who knew where his room was so you decided to go and speak to him later tonight. The time came around and you got going. The halls of Hogwarts were quiet and empty at this time, dark and silent.

You arrived and knocked on the door, he opened the door and his eyes widened at your figure. “Why did you come here?” he asks. “We need to talk” you reply as you step in the room.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS TODAY?? ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND?? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO THE POOR GUY, HE WAS STRUGGLING!” You speak, scream is more like it. “He fucking asked my girl to go to the yule ball with him.” He states.

“He doesn’t know we’re together!”. you point out. “The only person you’re going to the yule ball with is Neville!” “My cousin, seriously?” “Yes and i don’t want anyone else coming near you within a 50 mile radius or i will rip their intestines out one by one.” he’s still speaking calmly, he never shouts, never.

“Fuckk.. why would you even say you’d think about it beautiful, don’t you know ur mine?” He gets closer. “Im gonna have to punish you.” He then places his hand on ur waist and pulls you in. He kisses you hungrily and slips his tongue inside, fighting with urs for dominance.

You wrap ur arms around his neck as the kiss deepens, he then picks you up bridal style and carries you to the bed. “Im gonna fuck this tight little pussy till you can’t walk, till everyone in Hogwarts hears my name, till Cormac learns to not touch whats not his.”

Just then, he begins removing your shirt as you stood in front of his bed. He takes his time, one by one, he removes your bra, pants, then panties.

He then pulls you in for another kiss and makes you sit on the bed, he kneels between ur legs, and he begins trailing kisses down your collarbone until reaching your breasts. He begins pleasuring both of them, starting with your left breasts. He leaves kisses all around your breast and then starts sucking on your tit.

He sucks hard, twirling his tongue around ur tit, cupping your other breast in his hand. He then moves to your other side, pleasuring it similarly. He cups the left one and pinches your tit between his fingers. You let out different sounds and moans of pleasure, loosing urself to the heat of the moment.

After he’s done, he pushes you further on the bed and he spreads ur legs, “now, tell me, whose wet pussy is this for?” he questions. “Y-yy-yours, tommy.” “Thats right, now let me show you why it’s wet, for me.”

He immediately dives in like a starved man and starts eating you out. He licks ur folds, twirling his tongue, pleasuring you well, very well.

You grab his hair, tugging at it. “Tommy, im so close,” you admit. He mumbles a quick mhmm into ur pussy and it sends shivers down ur spine. That was ur limit, you slam your hand on ur mouth, stopping urself from screaming, as you come into his mouth.

He smiles into ur pussy and swallows all you have to give, he then licks you clean before pushing two fingers in without any warning. You moan at the feeling and he immediately begins moving his fingers inside you, slowly.

He then adds a third finger and starts speeding his movement, “you will not go to the ball with anyone but neville, do u understand me.” you nod in response which he doesn’t approve of.

“Use your words darling” “i.. i won- i wont go to the ball with anyone b..but Neville” “my good girl” he says before kissing you again. This time it’s slow yet still hungry, full of lust. “You have another one in you, don’t you?” You nod and once again he sighs in disappointment. “Use ur words love” “I d.. do” you answer.

He then proceeds to speed his movement and you come for the second time tonight. He removes his fingers and shows you ur cum on his fingers before licking them clean.

You get up to the bathroom to clean urself before returning back to ur dorm. You could hardly walk, but once you got there, you turn the hot water on and jump in the shower.

A few seconds later, tom walks in with you, already stripped out of his clothes. You turn to face him and smile at him. Once he steps in, he speaks “wait here pretty girl, i said im gonna fuck u till u cant walk, till everyone hears my name, till Cormac understands to not touch whats not his, i don’t think I’ve done that yet, have i?”.

You shake ur head at him and he makes you face the wall. You feel him get closer and he breathes next to your neck, heat floods ur body as you feel his breath.

“Now listen to me, im gonna fuck you real good, but im going to need you to beg me for it.” he whispered. He then lines his throbbing, hard cock with ur entrance and starts kissing you. The kiss is heated and slow, ur tongues fighting for dominance.

“Come on riddle..” you say between kisses. “Come on what?” he teases. “Fff.. fuck me tommy please. I need you inside me, now!” “One more time beautiful.” “Fuck tom, get inside me now!” You arch ur back a bit, and to that, he smacks ur ass before pushing in you.

“Fucking brat” he spoke as he sped his movements. You cover ur mouth, blocking any sounds from leaving it when tom removes it. “I wanna hear all the pretty noises you make when i fuck you like a little whore.” To that you moan which makes him go even faster.

“Tommy.. can i c-cum p-p-p-please?” “Your third time tonight? Impressive darling, go ahead.” He speeds his thrusting, and grabs the shower head, he turns it on and he points it toward ur pussy and he rubs circles around your clit.

Just like that, you scream as you come, your nails piercing tom’s skin. “Fucking hell, doll” you both chuckled.

You later finished ur shower and ran back to ur dorm as u realized it was past curfew already.

[placeinthisworld]

ttpdta review part one 🤠

let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.

taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.

i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.

lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻

1. Fortnight:

Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.

i have not seen the video yet oooopsies

2. Ttpd:

i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)

3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:

Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.

4. Down bad:

meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3

5. So long, london:

oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king

6. But daddy i love him:

tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.

7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)

8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.

9. Guilty as sin?:

okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.

10. Whos afraid of little old me?:

“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.

11. I can fix him (no really i can):

i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.

12. Loml:

okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10

13. I can do it with a broken heart:

ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.

14. The smallest man who ever lived:

(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.

15. The alchemy:

already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.

i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.

[icystorm76]

Lauren’s comments on Ep 4

My sister has now watched Ep 4, and again I wrote down what she had to say. She has never read the books and has no idea about basically everything. Anything in parentheses is my comment on her comment.

Her reaction to Ep 3: https://www.tumblr.com/icystorm76/753858454799761408/laurens-commentary-im-forcing-my-sister-to-watch

“The title of this is “I want you more than anything in the world”, which GREATLY concerns me”

Claudia’s performance

“Wow, she in the show”

“Ok this is kinda creepy”

“Yes, slay Claudia”

“Claudia must hate this. It’s like her biggest pet peeve, being treated like a child”

“His face!!!”

“Ok, that ghost thing is kind of cool”

“Ok, that is abuse again”

“So what happens if Claudia falls in love with another vampire who was turned as an adult”

“I want someone to edit that scene with “it’s a small world” but it’s just Claudia on stage”

Coven meeting after performance

“Anne rice you kinky little bastard”

“It’s funny because she doesn’t like windows when they close but I don’t like Louis boyfriends when they abuse”

“He’s kinda daddy with those muscles”

“Abuser. Victim”

“Understand his commitment issues. Please.”

Louis and Armand

“Wow, eww, keep that gay stuff to yourself. Yes. Thank you. One time I’m with you Lestat.”

Dubai

“He has sad eyes. Daniel does. He looks like the restaurant guy from ratatouille”

*Extreme sarcasm* “Thank you Louis, that cleared it up”

“I feel like his face would be fun to sculpt”

“What? Fire at the theater?!”

“PTSD awareness too. That’s crazy”

Claudia and Santi’s convo in the wet room

“That moment when trying to be a cottage core bitch comes back to bite you”

“Awwww, they’re going to be friends!”(NONONONONO CLAUDIA AND SANTI ARE NOT GOING TO BE FRIENDS)

“Daddy vamp?!?!? I’m using that”

“Marketing campaign, she lays on the ground like she’s fucking dead”

“When are they going to notice she doesn’t age”

Dinner with the coven

“I love how they’re like “we need to get far away from Lestat, who has a French accent. Let’s go to France!””

“Awww, she’s smiling!”

“Du ponte du lac, say his full name”

“Theoretically, if him and Lestat got married he would be Louis Du Ponte Du lac De Lioncourt”

“You know what I need? Lestat drawn by the same person who did Miku binder Thomas Jefferson”

“Why don’t vampires have Orgys?”

“Don’t put all my sexual comments in here. People are going to think I’m oversexual, tell them in not oversexual!”

“That’s kinda gay”

Les+Lou and Claudia+Madeline

“This feels like a scene from a marvel movie, the way it’s shot”

“Is he a goat?! Hello?”

“Oh God, I knew he was going to say that. I knew he was going to say that. You vain bitch”

“Yeah, I think we learned from your last family that thats not always good.”

Art gallery

“Wow, that is doing to much.”

“Look at how bored Lestat looks”

“I love how it’s been years and years and none of the vampires are over their exs”

“I feel like I’m in therapy”

Louis and Claudia’s arguing and Lestats goodbye

“She keeps repeating things. It’s like in books when they do that Oh. Oh. OH. Thing. It was nice the first time but after that it felt like she was looking for things to say.”

“I like the detail that he’s not getting wet because he’s not really there”

“Yo butt gonna get wet. People gon think you peed yourself”

“Oh my god he’s imagining Lestat with emotions”

“Oh my god the snap just happened”

“Ok. Idea. Daniel fucked Santiago.” (She is really stuck on the idea of Daniel fucking a vampire, she just keeps choosing the Wrong one)

“Is the dark gift really just a vasectomy?”

“There it is!”

“I am… so confused. What just happened?”

[teaboot]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Tagged by @lost-and-cused 💛

Are you named after anyone? Yes, a musician my mother met in Russia!

When was the last time you cried? Huh. I think like, two months back? Trigun '98 episode 23. If you know you know. (I am wrapping u up in a blanket.)

Do you have kids?  Nope! I think I might like to be a foster parent someday, though, once I have the money and the time do it properly.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? I- huh. I was gonna say yes, but honestly, not much in the last few years? I used to be so snarky and biting, like, all the time. It must have been really exhausting for the people around me. Now I think mostly it's just when I'm venting. Wild!

What sports do you play/have played?  I dunno if it's a sport if I don't compete but I enjoy martial arts! I do BJJ sometimes but I'm not very good at it, it's just for fun. Oh, and I was on a basketball team for a couple years, but I'm 5'3" and still don't know the rules so I think I was mostly just just for the body count, lol

What's the first thing you notice about other people?  Demeanor. Are you calm or tense? Loose or tightly-wound? Are you likely to explode if you encounter a perceived obstacle? Are you agreeable and easygoing? Or are you pent-up and raw and itching for a fight?

God, I don't think people realize how visibly LOUD they are when they're unhappy.

Some people are like music, moving along to their own little beat or tune, and then a heavy, harsh note walks in and you just KNOW they'll fuck up the rhythm if you brush too close. It's wild. Are they aware of it? Do they care? Who knows.

What's your eye colour?  Brown! Sorta like.... hmmmm. #622a0f in the middle, with a darker ring around the outside. (Never did relate to the 'brown eyes are boring' gang, always liked mine too much. Then again, I was the only one in my family with brown eyes, so maybe it was that.)

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies WITH happy endings? But no, actually, I hate watching horror movies. I LIKE them, I think a lot of them are very good and it's an underrated genre, I just. Don't enjoy being scared. Or sad.

Any special talents?  I'm an artist- I enjoy watercolor, acrylic, and India ink as painting mediums, I'm rather good at realistic stippling, I'm decent at identifying animal bones, I enjoy sculpting and sewing and needle-felting, I'm finally at a point where I like to read my own writing, I enjoy interior design and have been told I'm good at it, I'm a pretty good cook, and I've been told I'm a decent singer! I can also fold incredibly tiny origami cranes, and pick up on new languages well enough for simple use.

And I be far more proud of any number of these things if I did them a little more often.

As it is, I sleep a lot.

Where were you born? British Columbia, Canada!

What are your hobbies? Lord, too many. I'm actually sewing a new battle jacket right now, and animating a short video. Also writing fan fiction. And reading! And I like to collect antique books and handmade ceramics and theater masks. And go antiquing. And I'm still learning to knit? Hhhhhhhhrrrrnnggfn I wish I could have a year off to just. Do things. I wanna take a pottery class! And do metalwork again!! I used to love making chain jewelry. Oh, I do beadwork sometimes! And paint! And I'm sloooooowly designing a guest room. Bfyvxuhfhgtjggjhgyu

Do you have any pets? Yes! Big baby bird cat. He lives out of the country now, though.

How tall are you? 160cm!

Favourite subject at school?  Art. And Metalwork. And Psychology. And Literary Analysis. (And lunch break.)

Dream job?  Okay so imagine this: There's a VERY rich eccentric hell-bent on accumulating strange art, and by some miracle they are both mentally stable and not a gigantic dickhead. They travel a lot and don't really enjoy socializing so I don't have to kiss their ass.

Twice a month I receive an automatic deposit into my bank account and in return, all they want is a reasonably steady continued production of literally whatever art. Portraits, statues, robotics, ceramics, conceptual shit, costumes, carvings, literally whatever.

And they'll cover educational expenses for it all so I can go back to college and learn screen printing and 3D animation and use the kiln and shit forever and ever, and take up apprenticeships at tattoo parlors and volunteer as a face painter and pick up photography, and just create as much beauty and love and confusion and joy as I possibly can forever and ever and ever until I die.

And I'll have enough money to own my own apartment that I'll paint in all my favourite colors, with murals and everything, and have a cat who I will of course spoil rotten, and maybe adopt a few weird and goofy kids who'll have sleepovers with their friends in the living room and play new bad music that I pretend to hate, and when they fuck up and do stupid shit like kids do, maybe I'll handle it better than my adults did.

And maybe if they like making stuff too, I can make stuff with them. And maybe I'll get to see them do it better than me. And maybe I'll get to see them do everything better than me. And maybe they'll be happier, too.

So, uh. I guess I'd like to be an artist. A sugar baby-artist? Sugar baby artist combo. I'd like to have a patron is what I mean. A sponsor. Yeah

Fifteen Mutuals*: @Melancholysage @Genderfuckedpigeon @Raspbrrytea @Qthewhatever @Sternenhimmel-mond @Mythosandsuch @Anunholymessofagirl @Ifitistobeitisuptous @Here-you-can-read-my-feelings @Meat-puddle @Catgirlwarrior @Rodeokid @Not-fae-no-sir @Inbox847 @Pip-53

*I have no idea if we're all mutuals but take this anyways

[siasobessions]

you said you wanted recommendations for a jean fic, and my brain couldn’t help but think of reader having a fling with eren and jean just being a jealous man and wanting reader for themselves 🙏🏼

-🧸

Hopeless

☰ SYNOPSIS ⋮ You’ve always been told that to get over someone, you have to get under someone. But it’s not working out very well for you, and maybe that’s what you’ve always wanted.

— pairing ⋮ Jean kirstein x reader.

— Word count ⋮ 2.6 K

— Content ⋮ 18+ content minors please do not interact. Friends to lovers, angst, pining, mean jean (in some scenes), jealous Jean, swearing, pussy eating, fingering, dirty talk, hopeless fools

— Notes ⋮ I am aware that this is not my best work but it is my first work. I’ve wanted to write something for a long time but I do know that I have a long way to go so I’m to get some feedback from you guys :). Alsoooo, possible part 2?

—-

You met Sasha 2 years ago, sharing the same class and same seating plan. You introduce yourself, not having the energy to have a in-depth-talk this early in the morning you keep it simple and short. Sasha however, you notice is not the best at picking up on signals. She goes on and on about herself, one story leading to another and another and another. You hum along, eventually tuning out of the conversation. It’s not until 5 minutes after that you meet your professor for the first time, he introduces himself, welcoming you all to the first semester of university and eventually he lists what to expect this semester. Your professor, you notice is on the shorter side but you keep a mental note of his hard exterior.

30 minutes into the lecture Sasha lets out a gasp, the expression on her face reading a light bulb that just went off in her head. “My friend Connie is hosting a welcome party this weekend, you should totally come!”

It’s at the party that Sasha introduces you to the infamous Connie. Connie is what can only be described as a “goof”, he certainly knows how to have a good time. You decide you like him. Sasha wanders off with Connie, disappearing into the crowd of partygoers.

“Perfect” you sigh to yourself, you look around the party but are only met with unfamiliar faces all around. Eventually your eyes land on someone far off in the crowd, someone that’s hard not to notice with his tall build. He’s talking to someone but you don’t care enough to look at who. You’re stuck in a trance, it’s almost like you’re looking at living art. You notice his hair first, it’s the perfect shade of ash-brown, the hair is slicked back with a few stubborn front pieces that have fallen out. But even that, you notice, looks perfect. He turns a little to the side and..is that a…mullet?? Was the mullet invented for this guy? Your eyes wander to this side profile, he has a perfect nose, it’s long with no bumps, his jaw is chiseled, his lips are thin but they’re perfect. He has broad shoulders, a white tight tee that adorns his physique perfectly and light blue jeans. What the fuck, how can one be so perfect? You almost feel like a creep, standing off in the distance and admiring a stranger but you can’t find it in yourself to care, so you don’t stop. He turns around and his eyes are immediately met with yours. Shit. Shit. Shit. Do you keep looking? Do you look away? Do you run and never loo back? You decide to keep looking, because how can you look away when his eyes are pulling you in like that? He nods along to his friend, keeping his eyes locked on you. You like this, you think. What you don’t like is him walking towards you, the air in the room seems to have ran out. What the fuck, why is it so fucking crowded in here?? You should run, you think, but you’re stuck, and then he’s in front of you. He says his name is Jean, he offers a dance, you say yes. This is too good to be true. You dance with him for what feels like eternity until you hear a loud voice booming in your ear “Yn, you’ve met Jean!!” And then you know for a sure, that it really is too good to be true.

——

You’ve spent 2 whole years l, hopelessly in love with Jean. He knows you better than anyone, he knows it all, the bad and the good. You get along with him so naturally, so perfectly like it was always meant to be like this. You fit perfectly into this arms, and your lips would mould perfectly with his, you think. Your hand fits perfectly into his, your soul feels right when you’re with Jean. Jean makes you feel alive and you’ve both confirmed on more than one occasion that you must be each others soulmates. But Jean means a platonic soulmate, how can you tell him that you mean more than that? How can you tell your best friend that he is your romantic soulmate? How can you tell him about all the nights spent with your fingers buried deep in your pussy wishing it was him? How can you tell him about the sleepless nights you spend crying over him?

You can’t. So you opt for Eren Yeager to ease the pain. You think this must be the solution. To get over someone, get under someone, right?? So you do just that, you’ve been hooking up with Eren nearly two months now. He knows about Jean. His name slipped out, when it was Erens cock buried deep inside of you. But he doesn’t tease you about it and he doesn’t bring it up, so you return the favor by not bringing Mikasa up. You’re both fools, you’re cowards but you’re okay with that. Losing Jean would be the end of you.

—-

But that’s what you’re doing, and you don’t know why and you want it to stop but you don’t know how. He’s distancing himself, not talking to you as much as he used to, and he snaps at you, a lot, you notice. He seems annoyed anytime you open your mouth to voice your opinion, he seems like he wants to strangle you every time you laugh, he seems like he wants to shoot himself in the head anytime you talk to him for more than 5 minutes at a time. You want to cry, because this is not the Jean you know, this is not the Jean you’ve fallen so hopelessly in love with. Your Jean is soft, he’s nice, he’s a gentleman and he would never intentionally hurt you. Sasha and Connie seems to have picked up on his behavior, too. He only acts like this with you, he’s just fine with Connie and Sasha. Connie and Sasha are not okay with the way he treats you, they snap at him, tell him to calm down, tell him to stop being a dick but Jean doesn’t seem to care.

—-

You’ve planned a movie night with your little group of friends that are slowly turning into family. It has become a tradition amongst your friend group, hosting a movie night once a month. This month, you’re the host. You’ve prepared everything, the snacks, drinks, blankets and the movie. You’ve agreed that everyone should be at your house 7:30. Connie is the first to arrive, late, but still first. He arrives at 7:40. Sasha appears shortly after, 7:55. Her breathing is hard, like she just ran a marathon to get here, but you know that’s not the case. You know she just ran up the stairs to make it seem like she was in a hurry, to avoid getting scolded. But you let it slide, your mind is busy thinking about Jean. Jean who’s always the first to arrive, where is he now? The movie is set to start at 8:30, 10 minutes left and still, no Jean. At 8:30, you start the movie, you’re not one to ruin your friends night because Jean wants to act like a baby. Despite the red, hot anger coursing through your veins at jeans behavior, you can’t stop thinking about him. It doesn’t feel right without him, nothing does. Your thoughts are interrupted, some manic pounding on the door. As you open the door you’re met with a drenched Jean. “You can also knock, you know. I have perfectly functioning ears”. He just scoffs, pushes right past you and strides into the living room.

15 minutes later, your phone pings with a text message. It’s Eren, wondering if you’re free tonight. You pick your phone up, about to respond when you hear a “tsk” coming from Jean. “I thought we decided no phones?” He remarks, venom laced in his voice. “This is important, I’ll just be a sec” you mutter. But Jean doesn’t stop, instead he lets out a forced laughed. “Because Eren asking if you’re down to suck his dick is so important?” and you stop everything you’re doing, your last thread of patience finally snaps

“What the fuck is your problem Jean?”

“Me? I don’’t have a problem.” He scoffs

“Then why the fuck are you acting like I’ve gone on a killing spree and murdered your entire family?”

He laughs at that, it’s not genuine, far from it in fact and it irks you. But he stays quiet, doesn’t utter a word and keeps watching the movie. You shoot a look at Sasha, begging the heavens that she for once will pick up on what your pleading eyes are trying to tell her. Some merciful god far up in the heavens must have heard your silent prayers because Sasha shoots up and drags Connie along with her. Your entire focus is on Jean now, but he wears an unimpressed look on his face and you refuse to leave this room without answers.

“Answer me, Jean.” He doesn’t move an inch

“Can you fucking look at me when I’m talking to you? If I’ve done something to upset you, please tell me so we can resolve this.” And luckily, this time he does look at you, but his eyes are entirely too dark for your liking.

“No, what the fuck is your problem?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You, you and Eren.”

You don’t know what to say, so you opt for nothing. What does he mean by that? But Jean fills the silence, he always does.

“Why are you fucking him?”

“Is that what this is about?” But he just looks at you, doesn’t say a word and it seems that he grows angrier by the second.

“Why do you care so much Jean?” Your voice drops a few octaves, and your heart is beating so wildly against your chest that you’re scared it’s gonna break all the bones of your ribcage but you can’t find it in yourself to care.

“Because I’m selfish” and then his lips crash into your own, you were right, his lips do mould perfectly against your own.

The kiss is heated, all tongue, clashing of teeth and heavy breathing. Your hands lock into his hair, slightly pulling at it and Jean seems to like that because he lets out a groan of satisfaction that makes you clench your thighs. He pulls away, and you whine at the loss of contact, but he makes up for it fast. He places gentle kisses on your jaw.

“Because I want you all to myself”

He moves onto your neck, placing light kisses on the skin, and then he’s sucking and you’re tilting your head to allow him more space.

“Because I hate the thought of someone else kissing you like this.”

You’re a hot mess, whining and moaning and pulling at his hair, saying nothing yet so much at the same time. This language is reserved for him only, meant only for him to understand and, oh does he understand. Because his kisses wander further down, he places kisses all over your body, memorizing every inch of your body with his soft lips. Jean has never been religious, never been a believer. But now as he kisses your body, worships your body, he’s a believer, he believes in you and he believes that you’re the answer to it all. He looks up at you through his lashes, and it’s just like the first time again, the hunger in his eyes, the lust, the desire, the predatory gaze. You get lost in his eyes, and that is nothing new but you’re afraid you’re not gonna find your way out this time. His hands toy with your pajama shorts but he looks at you for consent, your whole body screams at you to say yes, but your head doesn’t agree and words spill out of your mouth before you can stop them

“Jean, maybe this is wrong. I mean what if this ruins our friendship? Aren’t you scared of the consequences?”

“I don’t give a fuck about the consequences. This is all I’ve ever wanted and I’d rather die than let you go now that I have you”

You know you shouldn’t do this, but how can you not? How can you let go of him now that you have him? So you go against your better judgment and give in to the desire.

“Show me how much, Jean”

Everything happens so fast, he pulls your pajama shorts down, wearing nothing underneath he’s met with your bare pussy.

“Can’t believe you’ve been hiding this perfect little pussy from me all this time”

“Didn’t want to, Jean. ‘M always dreaming about this”

“Yeah? He kisses your clit softly “and what” another kiss “exactly” kiss “do I do in those dream?” He looks into your eyes, waiting for an answer but this is far too embarrassing, far too vulnerable for you. But Jean is stubborn and he won’t let up “answer me.” His tone is authoritative, leaving no place for resistance.

“ ‘s too embarrassing Jean”

“Tell me.” He demands

“Always think about your fingers inside of me”

He chuckles slightly before giving you exactly what you’ve always dreamed of

“You’re so wet, ‘s this all for me, baby?” He eases a finger into you, going slowly at first before slightly picking up the pace, doing a come-hither motion with his finger. Your moans are far too obscene from just a finger, if this is just a finger, how would his cock feel? Your pussy tightens at that, and if Jean picks up on it, he doesn’t address it.

“Want more, Jean”

“My greedy little girl, anything for you.”

He eases a second finger into you and god, his fingers reach places that your own fingers never have been able to. Maybe that’s how it was meant to be, maybe those places were only for jeans fingers to reach. He hits the spot that makes you see starts and moan out his name like a broken record. You think this must be heaven, but he goes above and beyond when he latches his mouth onto your pussy. It’s so nasty, so fucking filthy. The way he looks into your eyes like you’re god himself, the way he eats your pussy like a starved man and you’re his last meal, the way your walls clench around his fingers, begging him to never leave. His other hand slithers up, gropes your breasts before he’s choking you, adding just the right amount of pressure to make you see stars.

“ ‘s too much Jean”

Your legs are starting to tremble and your hands are wandering mindlessly. Despite your words of it being too much, your hands betray you as they push him impossibly closer to your pussy. Jean doesn’t have a special technique that separates him from all the other guys you’ve been with but his fingers know how to hit all the right spots, he knows just how to flick his tongue to make you you roll your eyes into the back of your head. But Jean doesn’t seem to like that, and his words hypnotize you in a way like never before.

“Open your eyes and look at me, baby”

So you do just that, because how can you say no to Jean? You can’t. Even as your legs are starting to shake, even as your body is trying to push him away from you, even as the coil in your stomach tightens, Jean doesn’t stop.

“Jean, ‘m gonna cum”

“I know sweetheart, cum all over my face.”

That does it for you, sends you right over the edge and with a loud scream of his name, you cum all over his tongue. Jean isn’t one to waste, always resourceful, so who is he to waste the cum that sticks to your cunt. He cleans up your pussy with his tongue , never once breaking eye contact, and then he’s licking his fingers clean with an obscene groan escaping his mouth.

“You taste so fucking god, even better than I’d imagined”

[icekingofhope]

so I decided since I am a fnaf veteran and also planning a fnaf rewrite I give my opinions on the games and such and explain why I like or hate the game.

fnaf 1 2 and 3: the reason why I love these three is because it feels like a perfect trilogy the mystery the intense setting just a chef kiss and yes I agree fnaf 3 isn’t the brightest but I don’t care cause it’s actually my top favorite fnaf game I love the character spring trap a lot he has always been my favorite and the story’s ending fits of how the ghost of the dead children decided to punish their murder by making him go threw what they go threw.

fnaf 4: now I don’t hate this game far from it actually it’s probably the scariest fnaf game I seen and plus the designs of the nightmares are cool! It just I wish it was executed abit better as it does have flaws to the story (like example what did fucking michael expect when he put his brother in the mouth of a animatronic what did he think was gonna happen)

FNAF WORLD: now it maybe not a horror game…but I do enjoy the chibi animatronics and they look adorable I would never play it but I’ll look at the gameplay or art time to time.

Sister location: this game was kinda meh to me and feels wasted potential and it being a prequel just kinda ruins the lore especially since the first game takes place in 1970s…and advance animatronics like that doesn’t make sense and plus I feel like it would have fit a lot better if it was like taken place after the three games and maybe if you wanna make it a prequel make the animatronics less advance and give it the aesthetic of that time period (and don’t make the ballerina animatronic sexualized when she is a animatronic for children (cause you can’t tell me she isn’t sue me-)

pizza simulator: I fucking hate this game cause to me it ruined five nights at Freddy the only good thing was the cool speech Henry gave I already stop being into five nights at Freddy from this cause it ruined it for me the mystery was gone it just felt like they were just milking the franchise now and I don’t get how people like it.

THE FNAF VR AR AND ULTIMATE CUSTOM NIGHT: this is similar to pizza simulator and it sucks cause like this could have been fixed if they were just not canon like fnaf world and just got entertainment.

SECURITY BREACH: this one made me the most disappointed cause I remember when I saw the trailer I was actually very excited and positive about the game and made my theories on the game of what’s gonna happen…but it just turned out as a shitty glitchy game and I will announce as the WORST five nights at Freddy’s games ever made.

it frustrated me how bad it was to like showing the trailers aren’t true to the game amazing voice actors replaced with bad ones (aka vanny) and the only think I like about this game is the animatronics (not their designs their ok but it feels weird to even like them cause they are made by a problematic artist but the idea names etc)

Gregory also feels like a annoying main character like I just want him to just shut up like to me he doesn’t sound like a kid he just sounds like a bad voice actor trying to imitate a child but with a sore throat.

and don’t get me started on Vanessa which could have been a separate character to vanny cause like I hated she turned out to be vanny (and I always found it strange she was the only human security guard I mean…for a big ass fucking place as security breach which is probably the biggest map of any fnaf game your telling me there isn’t more human security guards? Like I’m aware of the security bots but they barely do shit in the game)

it upsetted me when I first saw the game I was so excited for it like how I would have fix it maybe make it like similar to the incident the death of the 5 children make it start as a tutorial where your parents take you to Freddy fazbears with your friends you get a tutorial of how to run climb and such.

and like you meet vanny she tried to kill you and maybe try to make the animatronics interesting since they are taking ai animatronics who actually have feelings and emotions route make them like Trying to fight back their aggressive programming do something to make it interesting! you had the ball In your hands yet you just decided to throw it into a fucking cliff this includes ruin and into the pit which is bad too.

And it sucks cause like I don’t know what is gonna happen now like it feels like five nights at Freddy is the broken shell it once was…

now does this mean you should also hate it no you don’t have to hate any these games if you like them feel free to for me it just feels like fnaf was ruined to me with its books and bad sequels cause like sometimes it feels like Scott didn’t seem to know what he wanted for the game and it feels like he was making it up as he went a lot going with the most craziest and dumbest ideas.

but you can still love fnaf I still like it too but like I am not as much into it anymore (due to the fans being crazy with its ships etc ) although even if I do plan a fnaf rewrite it’s not to spite Scott or any fnaf fans i just wanna do it to reconnect to fnaf when it was at its prime and feel abit of nostalgia.

and despite my hate for how fnaf went but I am glad they still exist cause we got amazing fan made songs and people got into the franchise and not to mention they can be inspiring and also help popularize mascot horror which is one of my favorite type of horror!

now I wish I could explain how I hate it more (but I suck at fucking explaining) although I do highly suggest video which honestly explains the fall way better then I could ever can

Anyways that’s all please don’t attack me for my opinions and I hope you have a good day or night.

[findingnemosworld]

𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧 - 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬

・𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲: 𝐦𝐞 ( 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢'𝐦 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧 )

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐨 𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 ( 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 )

𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐝, 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐟 𝐮𝐩.

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟕

The pub was semi crowded with several people coming in to unwind after a long stressful day, amongst those people were twenty two year old Ainsley Kingston and twenty three year old Clara Santori, the two culinary arts students who had decided to step out in order to celebrate their most recent success as well celebrate Clara finally leaving her boyfriend of two years, Jadon Collins.

Ainsley was able to find an empty space, ordering two pints. " I'm so glad you woke up and left that bonehead! " she states.

Clara giggles, " Freedom does taste good! "

To say it has been difficult would be an understatement - she'd met and quickly fell in love with Jadon, an indie musician completely by chance - much to the dismay of Ainsley who advised her to let him go as the blonde was aware that he in fact, wasn't as good as he made himself out to be.

" Now, you can focus on achieving higher grades and think of the future you'll have as a top chef! " Ainsley said before giggling " Our restaurants or bakeries might end up competing, but all in good fun "

The pints were placed in front of them and Clara sighed, " I am not going to let any man distract me, no matter how talented and handsome he might be "

Ainsley lifts the pint up, " To new beginnings, better grades and most of all, no men "

Clara beams, gently clinking her glass with hers. " Cheers! "

They spend the rest of their time chatting over future holiday plans when Ainsley suddenly stopped talking, her eyes widening as though she'd seen a ghost, " Oh my lord! "

Clara frowns, " What? "

" Four Liverpool football players just walked in " Ainsley whispers.

Clara raised a brow, " I didn't know you liked football! " she exclaims.

Ainsley rolled her eyes, " My father does, I only watch it cause the players are cute " she laughs, " but seriously, look " she discreetly gestures to the booth.

Clara subtly turns around to check, the smile on her face falls and her eyes widen. " Fuck! " she blurts out.

" I know right, they're all hot! " Ainsley murmurs.

" No " Clara shakes her head before adding," Fuck as in one of them is my former high school boyfriend who dumped me for his football career "

Ainsley raised a brow, " Wait which one? "

Clara takes a big gulp of her drink before muttering, " The one with the blonde hair, who has a hair tie? he's sitting next to the ginger haired player "

Ainsley takes another look, " Wait ... is that? "

" Fernando Torres, yes? last time I checked, he was playing for Atlético Madrid " Clara groans. " I had no idea he's playing for Liverpool now "

" You should go talk to him " Ainsley shrugs before taking a gulp of her drink.

" And what do you expect me to say? 'Oh hi! remember me, the teenage girl that you said would hold you back' " Clara mimicked a cheerful tone before rolling her eyes, " There is no way I'm going there so let's finish our drinks and leave "

Ainsley shakes her head, " Whatever you say? "

She finished the last bit of her drink right after Ainsley and as they tried to slip out undetected, she stops upon hearing the all too familiar voice calling out her name. " Lara! "

Clara winces, silently cursing herself as Ainsley struggled to hide her smile; the brunette turns around to face her former lover from way back when, " Nando! Hola " she said a bit too cheerfully.

" Hola " Fernando smiles, " I thought I was dreaming when I saw you earlier, I mean ... wow, you look "

" Different, yes I am fully aware of that " Clara chuckles, " I can safely say the same to you, I mean last time I heard you were still in Atletico playing "

" Yes, but when the offer from Liverpool came, it was very difficult not to accept it! " Fernando shrugs, before turning to Ainsley. " It's nice to meet you, I'm Fernando "

" So I've heard " Ainsley smiles, " Ainsley " she turns to Clara, " I'll wait in the car ok "

Clara nods swiftly before turning to Fernando, " It was great seeing you but I have to go now " she gestures to the door.

Fernando nods, before he said. " Do you think we can meet over a cup of coffee or breakfast sometime? "

Clara halts in her steps, gnawing on her lip as she debated whether or not she should accept the offer; a few seconds had passed before she relents, nodding as she rummaged through her purse to pull out a piece of paper she had and a pen, she writes down her phone number and hands it to him. " Here, call me whenever you're free "

Fernando smiles, " I will, it was great seeing you Lara "

" You too Nando " Clara smiles back.

______________________________________________________________

𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

The last thing Clara expected was to restart her life after a rather messy divorce, her former husband had been shamelessly having an affair for five years and as much as she tried her best to walk away as quietly as she can - he was more than hellbent on making things far arduous for her to the extent of forcing her to move back to Madrid and start her life once again with her adopted children, seventeen year old Atlas and eleven year old Sara.

Early on in her life, Clara had discovered her inability to have children which prompted her and her former husband to adopt, and while her husband was more than kind to both children, she couldn't fathom why he up and decided to betray her in such a foul manner yet she opts not to dwell on it, choosing to return to her roots and help her mother with the family bakery while both her children chased their dreams, mostly Atlas whom has been a part of the Atletico Youth Academy.

Clara had noticed early on just how passionate the young boy was in regards to football which fondly reminded her of Fernando, and thus, she helped him with try outs and was proud to see him flourish each time he played. Sara, on the other hand was as passionate as Clara was about bakery which thrilled the brunette as she used her passion as means for them to connect further.

On one evening, Atlas returned from training with a proud smile across his face. " I have big news! "

Clara and Sara, who were in the kitchen both smiled. " What? "

" The coaches were so impressed with me that they want me to feature in the next UEFA Youth League fixture against Bayern Munich " Atlas exclaimed.

Clara smiled widely, " I'm so proud of you " she embraced her son.

" You should have seen the looks on their faces Mamá, they said I possessed an advanced skillset that will shine in the match, I'm going to start practice tomorrow " Atlas said.

" Great job hermano " Sara said with a smile.

" Gracias hermanita " Atlas smiles.

" You are exceptional baby, so there's no doubt you'll fly even higher " Clara said, " you know what, with such big news, I say we order food tonight "

Sara cheers, " Yes! let's order from the new Italian place that opened up "

" Yeah, Ferran said they have great pizza! " Atlas nods.

Clara makes an order than asks Atlas, " When's the match going to be? "

" Next Monday, I was honestly hesitant on accepting but Mister Torres said I reminded him of when he used to play " Atlas said.

Clara's eyes widened at the mentioning of the familiar last name, she looks at her son. " Who? "

" Mister Torres, he was recently appointed as the coach to the youth side after he came back from Japan " Atlas said. " It was so cool playing in front of him "

Clara smiles, " I'm proud of you " she strokes Atlas's cheek; ignoring the way her heart fluttered at the thought of him, it had been twelve years since she last spoke to Fernando, their last encounter happening just mere weeks before he made the shocking move to Chelsea.

" Gracias Mamá, I wouldn't have made it without you and Sara supporting me! " Atlas said.

That night, Clara had lied awake in her bed; her mind clamored by the many thoughts interlaced with one another - she didn't keep up much with his career, but had only heard tidbits from her family that knew his family, so the chances of them ever meeting again seemed slim to none up until now, it would only be a matter of time before she saw him again, given his new status as her son's coach.

______________________________________________________________

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟕

Finding time between studies as well as football seemed rather arduous for Fernando and Clara yet they were somehow able to make it work; she'd often come and attend his matches whenever she can and he became her personal taster before she was set to deliver her assignment, and while they both agreed that their bond was strictly that of two people reconnecting as friends, the soft undertones would peak every now and then to haunt her, causing her to wonder if there was perhaps a future for the two of them

On one evening, Fernando stopped by to spend time with her before Liverpool's upcoming bout against Manchester United, she'd given him an extra set of keys to facilitate his visits, he walked in and was immediately hit by the scent of freshly baked goods with a hint of spice, following the scent to the kitchen - he is met with a distressed Clara who was surprised by seeing him, " I thought you had practice "

" I finished early! " Fernando exclaims, before asking. " Lara, are you ok? "

Clara heaves out a soft breath, " If you count me baking for the third time because there's something missing in this stupid assignment then no I'm not fine "

Fernando sighs, for as long as he had known Clara, he was well aware of her tendencies to strive for perfection; often times leading her to become distressed and disassociated with reality. " Lara! " he walks over to her, " Why don't we go out? drive around the city? "

" Nando " Clara groans, " I can't ... "

" Yes you can, your assignment is not due until a week from now, and I'm very much craving something sweet so let's go out " Fernando said.

Clara shoots him a glare to which he responded with a chuckle as he leads her to her bedroom, " You'll thank me later, now go and change please "

She relents and changes into a shirt and a pair of jeans before joining him on a drive around the city, they barely spoke as the only sound heard was that of the radio playing music, Fernando stops in front of a small café, he leads Clara to the table near the window and orders two slices of chocolate cake for them, " Look at me! " he said.

Clara looks up, " Hm "

" You're beyond gifted when it comes to food, and I'm not just saying that cause I've known you for so long, it's the truth, it's why you got this far and you'll reach even higher " Fernando said, smiling when he noticed the faint smile adorning her lips. " Besides, when you open up the first restaurant, I'll be there proudly boasting about how I've known the amazing Clara Santori since childhood "

Clara's eyes softened, " You think so? "

" I know so " Fernando takes her hand to squeeze it. " I fully believe in you "

They spend the rest of the time eating their cake slices while she asked him about his upcoming matches, " I'm nervous " he admits with a chuckle. " But I'm trying to remain hopeful, especially since the coach believes in me, Stevie believes me as well as the team "

" And I believe in you, you're glowing whenever you play and that makes me happy " Clara smiles.

Fernando smiles back before saying, " I'm really sorry for the way I hurt you Lara! " he said.

" It's fine Nando, we were just two emotional kids " Clara shrugs, " It took us a while to understand, but at least we can be friends now "

Fernando chews on his lower lip before sayin with a tentative shaky tone, " What if I don't want that? "

" What? " Clara said with a confused expression.

" Lara, spending all this time with you made me realize that I don't think I can see a future without you in it " Fernando said, " I know I'm asking for a lot but, do you think we can ... I don't know " he chuckles nervously. " Start this on a different note, because you mean the world to me "

Clara would lie if she said she hadn't thought of the prospect of starting all over with Fernando, he was always her first love and you never forget your first, and reconnecting with him these past few months had shown her just how much she missed him.

" On one condition " Clara said.

" Anything! " Fernando said.

" If by any chance, this doesn't work, we will be very honest with one another and walk away on a good note " Clara said. " I want to try this again but you have to be patient with me "

" I promise " Fernando squeezes her hand. " I'll wait for you, forever "

They end their evening with a stroll in the park and just as the weather had gotten chilly, Fernando had removed the cardigan he was wearing to place it around her before wrapping his arm around her shoulder to tug her close, and for the first time, in a really long time - she felt seen, loved, and secure.

______________________________________________________________

𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

" Mamá "

Clara blinks, drawn back into reality by the sound of her daughter's voice, she turns around and smiles, " Sí, hija "

" Are you ok? " Sara asks her, " You've been acting strange since Atlas mentioned the name of his coach "

Clara sighed, she was certain that her reactions were not noticeable yet her daughter was very much perceptive in certain moments, " I'm fine hija, don't worry "

" Are you sure? cause the second Atlas mentioned name, it was like you've seen a ghost or something " Sara said.

Clara shakes her head, she did in fact see a ghost; the ghost of the past she had worked hard to bury. " Sara, I'm ok. I was just drained from work and to be fair, surprised by your brother's words, that's all there is "

Sara nods, " Ok, but if you're not feeling well, you can tell me "

Clara smiled, Sara might have been ten yet she had such an old soul. It's one of the reasons why she had felt drawn to her the first time she met her during the adoption proceedings. " I know, but don't you worry ok "

Sara nods, reaching to pull her into an embrace. " I love you Mamá "

" I love you too hija " Clara smiled, pressing a kiss to her head.

_

The following morning,

" Fernando is coaching Atlas! " Clara blurts out while she and her mother were organizing the display table, " Did you know? "

Beatrice nods, " Sí, it's all over the news, you didn't know? "

Clara shakes her head, " You know me, I barely check the news! so I was surprised "

Beatrice raised a brow, " surprised or ... something else? "

" Mamá " Clara groans.

" I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but you were the one that refused to speak to him when he tried to reach out " Beatrice said with a shrug.

" I had a very good reason " Clara said, " But it's long gone, and besides it's not like I'm going to run into him, Xavier drives Atlas home from training so that saves me the embarrassment of seeing him again "

Beatrice sighs, " Clara, hija! I think you should talk to him "

" Why? I have nothing to say, the last time we saw each other he outright said that I was holding him back, again " Clara said. " And then no more than a week later, he was seen with someone else so why should I talk to him? for all I know he could be married, and has kids so I'm going to save myself the trouble and pretend he's still off somewhere else "

__

" Who taught you how to play like this? " Fernando asks the young boy while he was helping him practice.

" My Tío, he gave me the basics and I spent the rest of the time watching old videos and trying to work my way into understanding the rest, then my mother helped me with driving me to and from several academies until I was accepted here " Atlas responds.

Fernando nods, " What about your father? "

Atlas chuckles, " He left us, me, my mother and my little sister! all because my sister and I are adopted, and in his words - he wanted actual children, my mother on the other hand gave up her dreams of becoming a restaurant owner to help me and my sister get a better life "

Fernando frowns, " Your mother was a restaurant owner? "

" She was going to be " Atlas said. " We lived in Paris for a while and when my father left, she decided that it was best for us to return here to Madrid "

No, it can't be. Fernando thinks, shaking his head before saying, " I'm glad she helped you get here, you've got a bright future Atlas "

" You think so? it's always been my dream to go professional " Atlas smiles.

" And you will, I believe in you " Fernando smiles, recalling how she used to tell him that each time he felt nervous.

" Gracias Mister, I promise I won't let you down " Atlas said.

" I know you won't " Fernando said. " Listen, why don't you invite your Mamá and sister to come and see you play in the match against Sevilla "

" Sure, I'll tell them " Atlas smiles.

______________________________________________________________

𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥, 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟏

" What am I supposed to do? " Fernando asked, feeling both confused and slightly afraid after she had convinced him to help her in the kitchen.

" Grab the piping bag " Clara giggles, before she grabbed the other one full of the icing mix.

" Ok " Fernando nods, grabbing the piping bag. " Now what? "

Clara carefully displayed the way in which he places the piping bag over the cupcake, " You slowly press and it creates a flower, see " she said.

Fernando observes her and smiles before nodding, " Ok, let's see " he tries to mimic her, " Like this? "

Clara places her piping bag and leaned closer, placing her hands over his to guide him through. " Try to go slow but not too slow " she said.

Fernando looks at her then looks back at the cupcake, smiling when it turned out quite well. " It's good "

" You're a quick learner " Clara beams.

Fernando blushed at the remark, " remember when we nearly burnt my house down because we tried to bake cookies "

Clara nods laughing, " I think your Mamá almost killed me "

" No, she loves you a lot! she was very angry when we broke up the first time " Fernando said. " And I don't blame her! "

Clara smiled, " At least we managed to find our way back to one another "

Fernando nods, placing the piping bag down on the counter, he cradled her face in his hands and pressed a long yet soft kiss to her lips, smiling against them when she let out a small moan. " Careful Lara, or else we're going to be distracted " he chuckles.

" Maybe I want to distract you " Clara giggles.

𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫,

Clara had walked into their shared home, a sense of dread washed over her. " Nando! " she received no response in return, which made her frown in confusion - she looks around, finally realizing that the home was semi empty as any remnants and traces of Fernando were gone, the only thing she noticed was a paper placed on top of the kitchen counter, nervously, she grabs the paper and unfolds it to find a handwritten letter.

___

Lara,

It was hard for me to write this latter, as I have rewritten this plenty of times but I think it's best if I do this instead of telling you because I wouldn't survive seeing you cry, I'll start this by saying that I love you and that I didn't mean for this to happen but - I can't do this, I can't let myself be held back and in turn hold you back.

Chelsea had offered me a good deal, and I couldn't refuse and knowing that you have so many dreams ahead, I can't possibly live with myself knowing that you might give them all up and move to London with me, so I think it's best if we go our separate ways.

I am grateful for all the love and support you've given me but you deserve someone that'll give you the stability and love you're searching for - and I hope that find that person in the end, I don't know about you, but what I do know is that I'll keep you in my mind forever, I love you so much.

Please, don't try to contact me, it's best if we don't talk.

Love, Nando.

___

Clara had taken a moment to compose herself before she rolled up the paper and threw it in the bin, she then grabs her cellphone and dials Ainsley's number. " Hey, ... " she said, " Can I come over? Ok, I'll be on my way "

______________________________________________________________

𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐝, 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑

It's almost as if their hearts had told them, that after such a turbulent period of time; they'd find a way to see one another again, Clara was afraid and so was Fernando - throughout the match, he'd tried his best to be focused yet ever so often, his mind would draw back to the fact that within the crowd of people in attendance to see the match was the only woman he had truly loved, and it didn't truly settle until his side had won and the parents were congratulating their boys that Atlas nearly sprints towards Clara to embrace her.

Fernando watched from where he stood, a mixture of shock and a sense of longing settled; she hadn't changed much save for her brunette locks growing in length and the presence of more lines across the corners of her eyes, her ever bright smile remained the same and it wasn't until their eyes met that her smile fell, yet not for long as it instantly appeared when she looked at Atlas.

Atlas then leads her and whom he presumed to be his younger sister towards him, " Mister, this is my Mamá Clara, and this is my younger sister Sara "

Clara's eyes were screaming as she forced a smile then extends her hand, " It's nice to meet you "

Fernando understood why she would do that, his manner of departure had hurt her more than it hurt him, he shakes her hand with a forced smile. " Likewise "

Clara turns to Atlas, " Hijo, take Sara to the car with you. I want to speak to your coach for a bit "

Atlas nods, " sure, come on Sara " he leads his younger sister away.

Clara watched them then turned to Fernando, " I want to make one thing clear, I don't know you, you don't know me and what we had before, was just an illusion. I'm going to be as civil as I can throughout this time for the sake of my son, but other than that - I am not expecting any kind of explanation, much less an apology "

" Lara " Fernando whispers.

" No " Clara raises her hand, " It's Clara, only those closest to me call me Lara "

[allmoshnobrain]

WAIT WAIT WAIT-

did you watch Saltburn? if so, I wanna know your full opinion plz

I've heard so many contradicting opinions and yours is very important to me

💚🖤🤍

I did, love, I watched it last week! I only watched it once though, I want to watch it at least one more time so I can really absorb and process the whole thing

I'm not sure if you want my opinion on any specific aspects so I'm gonna ramble for a bit

This might get quite long though so, opinions under the cut!

(Please be aware this will have spoilers. Like, a lot.)

First of all THE AESTHETIC OF THIS MOVIE!!! Everything looked so beautiful and I just loved the way they chose to portray everything, I'm a bit of a design and arts nerd so the photography and lighting choices made me so so happy because it fit the movie's mood perfectly

Also, did you know that the title card was made in stop motion and it took like MONTHS to make it because every frame took forever to be hand drawn and animated?

I saw Emerald Fennel comment somewhere that the movie is all about a beauty that drives us mad and I am so not normal about this concept. Like please I just need more of this in my life

I had been spoiled about the "shocking" parts and honestly they were a lot more okay than I imagined based on what my friends were saying lol

BUT NOW TO THE PLOT

I just love the whole unreliable narrator thing. The way the film starts with Oliver's narration and finishes with it - we only ever get to see his point of view of the whole thing and I think the main thing here is how he was drawn to Felix since the beginning. Maybe because Felix represented the life and status he wanted to have, maybe because he was just in love because, well, he says all the time I WASN'T IN LOVE WITH HIM but then we get all of this shots of him just LONGING over Felix and well, yes, I do think he was in love, at least with the idea of him.

I don't think he planned to murder the entire family from the start, I think he wanted to get closer to Felix in that mix of infatuation over him and over his status, I think he was very happy manipulating his family to like him and driving away anyone who could threaten that, like Farleigh. But things kind of get out of control when Felix figures out he's lying and I think also when Farleigh gives him the "you'll never belong here because it's a blood/family thing and you are nothing" speech.

And now he's drunk and heartbroken and angry and then no one even knows his name when they sing Happy Birthday to him and I think he realizes then that even if he gets Felix to forgive him he'll always be just a pet to these people. Their little "poor" friend who's a novelty to all of their rich aristocratic friends and families. I think that's then that he decides to murder Felix.

And there is all this Romeo and Juliet references/subtext, like they both swallow the poison but then Felix is left to die alone because Oliver refuses to drink the poison. I've seen some people saying he was planning to die with him and gave up last minute but I don't think that's what happened, I think he decided to kill Felix that night because he realized he was never gonna have him the way he wanted. I don't think he even wanted to kill anyone else at this point, I think he just kind of wanted to kill Felix and then take his place in the family, to sort of become him.

But then after when he talks to Venetia he realizes that plan's never gonna work because apparently Elspeth is the only one still under his spell. So he's never gonna have Felix, he's never gonna have Felix's place in this family and now Felix's sister and dad know how obsessive and manipulating he is, so he's probably gonna lose his spot in the family as Elspeth's darling real soon, so he kills Venetia as well. Now I don't think he actually kills her in her sleep or something, I think he just knew she was unstable as fuck and left the razors there knowing she would do the work. I think he would have planned something real quick though, had she not taken the bait.

And then there's the ending where he gets everything - Saltburn and probably the family fortune as well - and he finally gets to become and own the beautiful, beautiful things he longed for SO LONG. I've seen people saying Oliver is a genius and stuff, and I think yeah his plan worked for the most part, but only because he adapted and eliminated his prey swiftly. I think his original plan was to be with Felix, so when that couldn't happen he wanted to become Felix, but that went wrong as well, so he resorted to the last option - devouring everything Felix held dear. In the end, he was obsessed with Felix - he loved him, he admitted that himself.

And I do think he was in love as well lol

I think Oliver is such an interesting character - he's fascinating at times, but also repulsive. He's smart, sure, and he knows how to pull the right strings at the right time, but I think his original plan failed. He just let himself be driven mad by the fascination he felt for Felix and for how everything about him was so, so beautiful, and then devoured everything he could with no restraints. And that was sure a crazy ride to watch!

[saranootnoot]

CHAPTER 2 IS FINALLY HERE!!

Chapter 2: Stolen jewel

Every vampire family has one special jewel that only belongs to them. And for the Vampire king, he also had one, It was a beautiful ruby with inside was the blood of the previous vampire Queen. That ruby is extremely important to the vampire royals.. The vampire king's name was Edward Quinton.

He lost the ruby.

Someone had stolen it.

And that someone.

Was Isaac beamer himself.. He just wanted to piss off Edward, and it worked.

Edward was yelling at the lower power vampires to go find Isaac and the ruby. He was really pissed off. He didn’t usually target a certain human. But Isaac just had to steal that ruby.

The sound of the crunch of the snow under Isaac's feet as he ran from the danger. He didn’t understand why the vampire king was so worked up over a ruby.. He breathed heavily as his heart was pumping fast. He had forgotten to bring his vampire hunter supplies.. But he realized he had brought ink with his art supplies. He stopped as he took out a pen and threw it at a vampire, as it exploded onto their face. A yelp in pain as it stopped moving, soon isaac quickly took off running. Another vampire joined in the chase, quickly catching up to him.

Isaac quickly jumped into the trees, as the black haired vampire snarled as he quickly followed, Isaac quickly climbed the tree and jumped into another, going straight into werewolf territory. As a yellow wolf looked up and watched as a faint red jewel fell onto the ground.

Isaac glanced down as he watched it fall. “Shit..” he yelped as he realized the vampire was getting close. Isaac has no choice but to continue leaping from tree to tree.

Isaac soon jumped down from the trees when he learned he was out of the werewolf territory. He was soon tackled down to the ground by a blond-haired guy with blue eyes. Isaac tried getting away, as he watched the vampires.. It was a small group of vampires.. It was two, then it turned to four.. The blond-haired boy looked at the vampire whose eyes were covered in ink, “Justin are you alright?” Justin shook his head no. “No cody! My eyes are in so much pain!” Justin hissed in pain. The black hair snarled as he looked at Isaac, “I should kill you.” another vampire with brown hair grabbed his shoulder. “The king said to bring him back alive, James.” James growled as he stared, “I’m aware Louis.” James grabbed Isaac and twisted his arm as he yelped in pain.

“Let's get going now.”

“What are you doing you Idiots..” The vampires turned around to face the boy, He had blackish brown hair with purplish brown eyes. “Oh, Nevin..” James hissed.

Isaac's eyes widened. “You’re alive?!” Nevin glanced at Isaac as he nodded. “Yes.. I am alive.”

“Where have you been, asshole?!” Isaac stared hard at Nevin, as he hissed in pain when James placed his foot on Isaac's head pushing him more down into the dirt.

Nevin just stared at Isaac, “it's none of your business..and keeping Drew safe.”

Isaac was brought off of the dirt as he started to kick and try to reach for his knife in his bag, which was taken away and thrown by Louis.. “Come on you little rat.” James said as he started walking, while holding onto Isaac. Louis was guiding Justin where to walk since he couldn’t see anything. Cody was keeping an eye out, then glancing at Nevin, “You coming young fetchling?” Nevin shook his head, “No, I'm not seeing that asshole of a king of yours,” Nevin spat out. James just snarled as Isaac slowly found this amusing..

Nevin's body turned into light cyan smoke as he transformed into a bat. A fucking bat. Isaac's eyes widened.. Makes sense why he didn’t come back..

Edward had been pacing back and forth worrying, pissed off, all of that stuff..

Barry, Edward’s best friend, was trying his best to calm him down.. Which wasn’t really working.

Cody came in with an angry short blonde guy as he tried getting away from him. Edward quickly went over to him, his hands in a fist, his face red from being angry. “Give it.” He snarled as he stared at Isaac. Isaac just smiled a little, “Give what exactly?” Isaac responded. Edward growled, “My ruby. The one that you stole from!” Isaac shrugged, “No idea what you’re talking about” Louis got out isaacs bag and dumped it on the floor.. It was filled with bandages and art supplies but no ruby. Edward stared hard at Isaac, who just smirked. “What did you do with it Ink.”

Isaac hummed as he made a stupid thinking face, “Hmm.. no idea!” Isaac finally responded. Edward snarled, “That ruby has been in my family for generations!” Isaac just shrugged, “Womp Womp” Edward just stared, also a bit confused. “Did you just say Womp Womp?” Isaac just snickered a bit. Barry just sighed in the background. “I guess I’ll just have you locked up in the dungeon until you tell me.” Isaacs just shrugged, “Okay then”

~

Drew was healing a hurt child who scraped his knee, in the corner was Chris who was really really upset.. “Drew, I should go out there.. And find Isaac '' Drew looked at Chris as he sighed, “You know it's probably too late Chris.. Like my brother he isn’t here with us..” Chris shook his head. “You don’t know that..I know you also believe that Nevin is alive..” Drew sent out the child who was happily skipping out. Drew slowly glanced at Chris, “It’s..hard to move on chris.. I understand… I’m also scared for Isaac.. I miss Isaac too..”

Drew wiped his eyes as he breathed in and exhaled.

“I’m going out, Drew.. to find Isaac..”

Chris left the small house as he watched the Village in grief again, the vampire hunters weren’t though. They were keeping an eye out for anything..

Chris grabbed his bag as he got ready to head out, as a small little girl with pure white hair with yellow eyes, Starred up at him, as Chris screamed in shock.. as he slowly backed away from her. “Clovis! What are you doing here?!” Clovis smiled happily, “I’m coming with you!” Chris shaked his head. “No-” Clovis pouts as she quickly goes towards Drew.

Chris walked in the forest as he stepped on the snow. He soon spotted someone familiar.. But they were eating.. A dear…

Chris slowly pulled out a knife as he made his way behind him.

Chris got closer as the vampire turned towards Chris..

Nevin?...

“Nevin? You’re a…” Chris felt sick to his stomach as he stared down at the dead deer.. It was just dead.. With two small bites in its neck. Nevin stared at Chris. “Chris.. I swear I'm not like them.. I promise..” Chris looked at Nevin as he slowly put away his knife.

Chris took out a rag as he wiped Nevin mouth as he looked at him, more focused on his crimson red covered lips.. “There.. Now you’re presentable” Nevin just chuckled a bit, “Thank Chris, Now what do you want?” Chris blinked, “Have you seen a blonde guy that's hair is in a ponytail and has yellow eyes?” Nevin blinked as he slowly nodded.. “Yeah.. i think he was being taken to the vampire king or something” Chris’s face fell, “Oh…” Nevin hummed, “Usually they don’t eat humans or turn them right now.. So he might still be alive..”

Chris looked at him as his eyes widened, “Can you take me there?..” Nevin stared at Chris, “You’re just going to get yourself killed…” Chris shook his head, “I don’t care, it's for Isaac.. My best friend..”

Nevin sighed as he shook his head..

“Alright.. But don’t just say i didn’t warn you” Nevin sighed as he stared up at Chris.. Nevin slowly started walking, as Chris followed behind.

The yellow wolf stared down at the red jewel, as he picked it up. He turned into his actual form, he smirked.. “Looks like I have the Crimson ruby.”