#yes i am german

[fefflerone]

Dieser Post hat echt kein Publikum, aber ich hatte den größten Gehirnabsturz, als ich Frozen Empire im Kino geschaut habe, weil?? Thomas Nero Wolff klingt einfach 1:1 wie Arne Elsholtz?? Like ich weiß ja, dass er Peter schon im letzten Teil gesprochen hat, aber den hatte ich auf Englisch geschaut und bin deswegen im Kino komplett von der krassesten Arne Elsholtz Impression gejumpscared worden. Einfach mal mad Props an Thomas Nero Wolff, ich dachte echt, ich werde verrückt

[snailcoded]

oh hey, are you also German? is the site you mentioned perhaps animexx? I grew up on that site lol. there is also fanfiktion.de

oh shit you're right it was animexx! can't believe the site is still up

[tis-i-german-potato]

I need everyone to know that the german word for mullet (the hairstyle) isn't a word at all.

It's the equivalent of calling the mullet "Froshbalo" in english.

Why? Because Vokuhila (the German 'word') is simply "Vorne kurz hinten lang" (Front short back long)

I need everyone to know that.

And I will now start calling a mullet a Froshbalo because honestly that word is banging.

[joifee]

Picknick

This is my second artpiece for @captain-writes fanfic "Masquerading as Strangers"!!! As well part of the trade by the @hermitshippingbigbang

I am embarressed how fast I did draw this one - it took me

2 days

anyways look at this and the fic and sbfjfbvdsfh

[cerise-on-top]

König Teasing Reader in His Dialect

I finally got around to writing for König being sappy with his S/O in his native tongue! Native dialect, in fact!! I'm not gonna include any translations for this one! And don't bother putting it in Google Translate either, it won't work :3c

“Du host so a liabes Gschau.”

A gentle twilight it was, the sky donning a beautiful coat of orange. With the few fluffy clouds floating by, you watched your boyfriend glow in the soft evening light. It was almost magical, the way the sun set behind the mountains, the way it created a halo of utmost pulchritude on König. He was a rough man, who found it within himself to be as gentle as one would never imagine. His hands were calloused, but the way he caressed your face made it seem as though he was a lover by nature. Although he may have killed more people than you have ever known in your lifetime, that fact barely came to mind when his voice would call for you. Strong his accent, yes, but with it came a sense of familiarity that you would get nowhere else. König was a beautiful man. If you could have, then you would have knelt in front of him, allowing him to tread his fingers through your locks. If you could have, you would have slung your arms around him, burying yourself in his warmth and scent. But alas, all that came to mind was confusion. What did he say this time?

“You know my German isn’t that good just yet. You gotta be patient with me. Can you translate?”

With a certain glimmer in his eyes, he smiled as he shook his head. “No, I’ll let you figure this one out. It would be boring if I translated everything for you.” But even so, he walked towards you, quiet as a cat, hunting for its prey. All there was to devour was you, unity through the purpose of consuming one another. He stood still in front of you, eyes almost hazy as he seemed a little unfocused. He was a hunter, but whenever you were around he laid his weapon to rest, craving your attention more than he felt the bloodlust. You calmed him more than any restful night ever could. Your touch was the remedy for his loneliness, his fear, his anger. And this time, it was his turn to repay you, gently running his thumb across your cheek.

“Du bist mei ois. Für di leib i. I bin dir so vü schuidig. Söbst wenn i dir die Wöd gebn darad, warads ned genug. Danke für ois. Bitte bleib bei mir so laung wies nur geht. Hah, i reid grod so vü Scheiße, aba des stört mi ned. Du mochst mi so fertig, aber i hob di so lieb. Eigentlich wuid i heite schiacha zu dir sein, oba i kauns afoch ned. I bin so verliebt in di.”

Should you feel angry at him? For all you knew he could have been cursing you worse than any string of English words ever could. And yet, his expression betrayed him. That gentle smile, that soft gaze, that tender touch. König let out a content sigh, placing his hands atop your shoulders. It was evident he wanted something, he wanted more, but all he could do was stare as love overtook every fiber of his being. In that moment, he wasn’t a hunter, he wasn’t a fighter, he wasn’t a soldier. If there was one thing he could call himself, it was yours. Your boyfriend, your partner, your loved one. It didn’t matter as long as it was in relation to you. He pulled you into a tight embrace. His pride was a wall made of steel, but you burned yourself through the metal and settled down in his heart. All you knew was that he was so much kinder towards you than he gave himself credit for.

“Love, I’ve got no idea what you’re saying.”

“Brauchst a ned. I wü afoch nur so mit dir bleibn. I mechat di für imma so hoitn. Du bist so liab. I hob so vü Scheiße im Militär durchgmocht, oba es wor’s ma ois wert wal i di kennanglernt hob. I darad ois no amoi so mochn. Bitte sei ma ned bes, oba i glab es is gscheita wennst ned wast, wos i grod sog. Du suist mi ned als schwochn Maun sehn. Oba nur damit du’s wast, es gibt kan Menschn auf dera Wöd, den i liaba hob als di. I hoff, dass ma ewig zaumbleibm kennan.”

“Are you being sappy right now?”

But the only response you got was him holding onto you as though you were a beautiful, fleeting memory. Wrapping your arms around him in return, you resigned yourself to your fate. He could so very easily snap you in half, and yet he chose to use his strength to make you feel protected. Indeed, König was a different man with you. You knew him as the anxious colonel that was still capable of leading people. Deadly precise, viciously efficient, always successful. And today he felt as giddy as a child watching its first rainbow, all because he was with you.

“Ich hab dich ganz doll lieb.”

Finally, some words you could understand.

“Love you too, König.”

[rochenn]

love the star wars german dub. like you'd figure anakin and obi-wan would address each other with peer pronouns (du) by the time RotS rolls around. but no. they don't even use the formal ones (sie).

anakin addresses obi-wan with the fucking PLURALIS MAJESTATIS. like. "ihr"??? did this space opera backflip into the regency period? imagine that in english. don't make me kill you my liege. your grace, you underestimate my power. what the fuck

[tepli-mravenci]

I find it funny how English speaking people use he/she pronouns for objects/animals as a way of showing endearment when there's multiple languages - including mine - that just gender objects and animal species in general

Table? Guy shaped.

Shoe? Girl shaped.

Door? They/them that bitch.

Cat? Girl until proven otherwise.

Dog? Boy until proven otherwise.

Pig? Let's not even bother, it's an it/its.

And that's just Czech. German has completely different genders for most of these things. And that goes for every other heavily gendered language. It's a curse really :)

[sn0wbat]

well what family doesn't keep a secret vampire family member hidden deep in in the basement /s

EDIT: Rest of the comic is now under the cut!

----------

BONUS:

[teafromthemicrowave]

draw the german bread >:3 /nf

BERND DAS BROT REQUEST, pookie i love you/p thank you for that lovely request I am more or less ashamed to confess but that grumpy loaf of bread was my childhood as much as spongebob (THIS IS NOT SPONGEBOB EVEN THO HE IS A GEOMETRICAL BODY WITH LIMBS TOO)

[lavenoon]

I got a new tattoo!!

@naffeclipse so he can't come to the appointment, but he can look at the result <3

*self insert Aster is not a girl (he/ she)

og detective au by sunnys-aesthetic!

(tat pic under cut, warning for my bare, complaining about being shaved leg lmao)

I'll now go back to not including my tattoos in my doodles unless they suit me, because man that's a lot of lines lmao

[ysolt]

personal pet peeve: level 1 surface level reading being heralded as ground breaking discovery when it's something you need to achieve for a C in school. like op isnt *wrong* but its like. the bare minimum

[cosmogyros]

It's fucking weird how rude people are about immigration sometimes. And I don't just mean bigots being biased and stuff. I mean that, on a REGULAR basis, people ask me if I'm thinking about "going back to the US". And I'm just like... no? What do you mean "back to the US"? I live in Germany. I LIVE IN GERMANY.

I literally fucking started learning German and obsessing on German culture in high school, then I went to college in the US and majored in German Studies, including two study-abroad programs in Germany, then I moved to Germany for grad school and lived there for three years and worked in various German-speaking jobs while studying, then I had to temporarily return to the US but found a German-translation-based job at the US branch of a German company, and made a bunch of German or at least German-speaking friends in my new US city, and then a few years later I was able to move back to Germany, where I got a work visa sponsored by my employer and a full-time salaried job, and after a few more years I acquired my permanent residency, and soon I'll be applying for citizenship.

And people still sometimes ask me whether I'm considering "going back to the US". Like... dude? Would you ask a Mexican living in the US about their plans for "going back to Mexico"? That is rude as fuck.

Immigration is fucking hard. Why on earth would I have gone through all this shit just to throw it up in the air like "Oh well, never mind!"

[eternal-moss]

HELPP GERMAN MARCILLE I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHH

My girl cannot function unless she’s following the Schulbuchmethode 💀

“Nein nein nein, so geht das nicht!!!” Girl I think you need to chill out

[severin-photocopy]

Do you have any book recommendations? I am trying to find some books and stories to get into.

Hey hi sorry for answering so late I really had to think about this because I'm terrible at giving recommendations :(

I'm mostly going to talk about classics because I am more informed on that topic.

My favorite pieces of literature to recommend that are non Sacher-Masoch related are:

- The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe

- Kafka's short stories

- Rimbaud's poems

- Fraulein Else by Arthur Schnitzler

then obviously I'm going to tell you to read either Venus in Furs or, if you want something less "sexual" and a bit less sad, Don Juan von Kolomea. The Sacher-Masoch propaganda never stops (plus look through the Jewish Short Stories cause they are also worth it Might be a bit problematic in some aspects but if taken in the context of the 19th century it's actually pretty good)

For some newer stuff that I read this year and that I liked a lot and would recommend I'd say:

- Sándor Marais ("The Embers" has changed my life)

- The World and All That It Holds by Aleksandar Hemon

- The World of Yesterday by Stephan Zweig

Also little bonus: anything by Rilke because he writes so beautifully.

Also for some of them you might want to thread carefully because they do handle sensitive topics. I wouldn't want for your reading experience to be ruined by getting in a bad mental state.

[gar-a-ash]

The face of a man who was focusing so hard on shoveling as many treats down his throat as he could he didn't notice he had a thermometer up his ass and ALMOST SAT DOWN ON IT because he thinks he gets more treats if he sits. Poor nurse had to hold him up by his tail lmao. Thirty pounds now! Every single comment is "he's going to be so big omg" followed by "he's so cute!"

[julestopher]

"we're so bitter we could die"

that's it, they described germany

"we're so happy we could die"

relatable