#yes i have autistic traits

[growling]

the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous

[doctorho]

viktor doesn't... pay that much attention to appearances, his or anyone else's. not when it doesn't matter. sure, there's the 'wearing what they see as respectable clothes so they take you seriously' and the 'not going to the dinner table covered in oil stains', but beyond that? he doesn't really care, to be honest.

yes, he's aware that some people put a lot more thought into the way they look, and into what other people think about the way they look. he knows that's a thing. it just happens to be a thing he chooses not to personally get invonved in.

well, it had been.

he honestly hadn't even thought about it much, before. it had just been one of those things that other people did, one of those things he had never really understood. you know, one of those things that made him feel like maybe the rest of the world had had some secret meeting without him where they decided that yes, these are the rules, and no, we won't explain them, you just have to know.

one of those things.

and he had been fine not thinking about it! truly, he had been blissfully unaware of what the current beauty standards were and which traits were seen as good or bad on which year -

and then he'd met you, by some miracle. you know, viktor doesn't meet that many new people, these days, so it does genuinely feel like a miracle when you just... stumble into his life one day. and without even thinking about it, automatically, viktor's brain files you away as beautiful, and he treats that as a passing fact, the same way he treats the color of your eyes. it's just a categorizing trait; this person just is beautiful.

and then, later, when he learns that apparently not everyone thinks that, his brain disagrees, severly. like - are they blind? is this a joke? it's a bad joke, if so, and then he's mad for you.

because he remembers that, ah, right. some people are weird about appearances. they have their menial rules about it that change by the decade.

he's still mad for you, but mentally he's ended that argument with well they're all idiots. because clearly you are an awesome, incredible, beautiful human being and this shouldn't be an argument in the first place.

he tells you this, and then his heart breaks a little when you seem so used to hearing the opposite. when you seem to have accepted what those idiots were saying because you'd just...heard it so often.

when you seem to not-quite-believe that he could really see you as beautiful. that he could really, actually want you. like that.

and it's - it drives him up the wall that this is even a thing. that the negative things you've heard outweigh the positive ones, and apparently by a landslide. that he can't make you see yourself the way he sees you.

because, truly, he thinks you're so beautiful. like, are you kidding? viktor's been skin and bone his whole life, and you're so...soft. he knows it way before he ever touches you; he can see it, and he has a well enough functioning imagination. and he's been thinking about it a lot, lately. what you'd feel like under his fingers. against his body. he has theories about this.

he can tell you're soft, and warm, and sometimes when the sunlight hits you he genuinely thinks you look like you could be straight out of one of those expensive oil paintings people paid a lot of money to see just a glimpse of.

and - yes, okay, maybe some of this was just his hormones talking, but come on. he couldn't not want to touch you. that was just one of those facts of life - the sun rose every morning, and whenever viktor saw you, he had the urge to touch you. to be close to you. to prove to you how much he adored you.

and then when you let him? that - that felt like a miracle. truly and honestly. because - viktor had never considered himself to be especially lucky, just, like, in life in general, but this?

he had to have won some sort of cosmic lottery. to first be lucky enough to meet you and then to be able to do this. to get so close. to touch you like this, to see you like this. it is nothing short of a privilege and he takes it, happily and greedily. and he makes it his personal mission to let you know exactly what he thought about you, and exactly how little you should care about anyone else's opinion. except your own, of course, but only on those days your mind was being kind to you.

so he makes sure you know that he absolutely worships you. okay? you are his personal deity, and he is devoted. he lets you know, any way he knows how, and any opportunity he gets. given half a chance, he will be praising you, telling how gorgeous you are and how lucky he is to have you. telling you how good you look, how good you feel, how good you make him feel. he isn't shy - he tells you, in enough detail to make your cheeks heat up.

and when you're alone, and you have all the time in the world? he shows you, and he doesn't hold back. and then he reminds you, again and again and again.

and you know viktor isn't a liar. he doesn't care about things like this enough to lie about them. so when he tells you that he loves the way you look, the way you feel, the way you are, you believe him.

[artheresy]

Thinking more about Ruan Mei and I am trying to grapple with the fact that on some level in a way I can’t describe, I feel super strongly connected to her and in a way either understand or even relate to her

But like, I can’t fully explain it properly

Something about even with her strong knowledge, she is still struggles to properly feel and properly express and understand certain emotions and it’s one among the many factors of why she ends up being almost like a hermit (which OOF I had joked to myself she’s just like me fr when they called her a hermit but after the quest its hitting a bit too hard)

Even in her mannerisms, I can’t help but relate and it’s also part of why I think I ended up liking her a lot. I’ve seen a lot of people consider her deeply like evil or something or like she’s very hateful and malicious when she truly never came across that way to me and I just.. can’t see that. I can see the mad scientist in her, there’s no denying that. But she comes across as extremely morally ambiguous and perhaps a bit obsessive regarding her research rather than actively cruel or mean and I firmly believe she’s intended to come across that way looking at her dialogue and the way she behaves. I just can’t see her as evil or anything, probably because there are parts of her behaviors I know well

And again a huge part of my love for her comes from how her story and character is tied to the Aeons, and I fucking adore Aeon lore, I am praying for more like PLEASSEE

Even this didn’t get out all my feelings or fully explain what I think about her but y’know maybe later I’ll find the words I need

[dollopheadedmerlin]

Yall . . .

My roommate is super cool and all, but she REALLY wants me to be autistic, like so much so that she has just started referring to my autism (which doesn't exist) and it is really annoying

Like, I'm not offended when people ask me if I have autism because it's not a bad thing and whatnot, but what is griping me is that she just decided that she is gonna insist that I do?? And she isn't even the only person to have done this to me before.

Like I score pretty dang low on the raads test, and my friends who have either autism, adhd, or both (my partner included) agree that I just have very obvious unmedicated adhd, because I don't relate to stuff that is more solely the autistic experience.

And like?? I've even questioned it before. Like huh maybe I DO have autism, but each time I have, myself or others pretty easily rule it out.

And it's really agitating me because recently there does appear to be this trend where autistic people are trying to convince EVERYONE that they're autistic, especially people with adhd

And the nail in the coffin is that I do have a special interest. And for whatever reason, part of this surge of people who are trying to accuse people with adhd that they're really just experiencing internalized ablism when they say they're not autistic, is that they claim that special interests are ONLY things that people with autism can have???

And like, I don't know where this came from??? Because you can develop special interests due to trauma, and it is a potential symptom of adhd and whatnot. Like a simple google search can tell you that special interests are not and autistic exclusive thing! It's just a common autistic trait, versus an uncommon adhd trait.

And the bottom line is that I am kinda irked by autistic people acting like adhd isn't as neurodovergent as autism. As though it doesn't affect me or my relationships and that the only reason I would insist I'm not autistic is that I don't want to be autistic. I don't care!! I would not care if I was autistic!! I do care when random laymen try to diagnose me for no reason!!! Or look at me like I'm lying when I say I don't have autism!! Or pretend that adhd is just excited neurotypical!! Stoppppp

[pinkcasket]

watching house is a trip but hearing the writers early opinions is so funny "he's not autistic he's just an eccentric jerk" "house isn't in love with wilson they're both straight" not only did you write an autistic bisexual you also gave him adhd and complex ptsd.

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

sympathy for the outcasts <3

[vaugarde]

its a little crazy seeing people say that the autism scene in girl meets world is wild and insane and unbelievable because the girls react to the boy having autism like hes got a terminal disease and "what kind of person reacts like that to AUTISM?" when that's actually kinda how my suggestion that i was autistic went with my family

[aardvaark]

is it the trauma or am i autistic: a question for the ages

[frothingatthemaw]

been oc-ing the fuck out of vessel….. i have written some Thoughts about him while i’ve been away :3 if anyone wants to see them, i can post em!!

[upsidedowngrass]

one of my favorite details about liam is the fact that he is very nice!!!! but he does NOT seem to get manners

his whole motive thruout season 2 is that he wants to save the others. from the looks of it, he doesnt CARE about the revenge part that much. like yeah itd be nice to stop the guy that physically harmed and killed you bc he did that, but thats an afterthought really - and i didnt interpret liam trying to kill airy even as an attempt at revenge so much as an extremely irrational and extremely stress-induced method of trying to make sure his friend + the others DIDNT get sent to the plane. his main priority is repeatedly that he wants to stop this from happening to anyone else. the only time he mentions himself is when saying that he 'cant live the rest of his life not knowing WHY this happened' (thats paraphrased) but that is immediately followed up w concern for this happening to other people

ofc, he also thinks he literally Has Nothing so the lengths he goes to to save the others CAN be interpretted as not things he would do if he thought he could go back to normal but at that point, thats just extremely specific speculation and i dont think thats supposed to be whats conveyed. some situations wouldnt even be necessarily related to him not having anything, so much as related to helping the others. he still throws himself into everything after "remembering what its like to have a life again." even when he realizes that he doesnt HAVE to have lost everything, he still cared and wanted to help the others more

i think he wanted closure, yeah, but he really did want to save the others. the scene of him helping julien is there for a narrative reason, after all (though i dont wanna get into that bc id go on a tangent about narrative choices in ONE). hell, hes the only one to try to get charlie out of the way of the stakes! (not that the others didnt try, but i feel like the intended take-away of liams general nature is fairly clear)

anyway, liam is nice!! he cares a lot abt others and doesnt want bad things to happen to them, and hes ok with bad things happening to him if it can help them.

but he does NOT understand a lot of social etiquette, or the concept of being polite.

my favorite example of this is the whole discussion abt going to go see bradley. when the restaurant gets shut down, liams first thought is to go 'sooooo. you dont have work, right?' when liam realizes he cant pay for the laptop, he just kinda. 'i dont have any money.' and stares at bryce like a cat looking at your plate of sandwich meat, waiting for you to inevitably give them some

this isnt even ONLY after the 7 months, theres hints of this trait before then! when amelia is talking abt stone making her team when the challenge, he just goes 'yeah sorry.' then talks abt how texty won their teams challenge, pointedly when texty is RIGHT there. liam doesnt even say goodnight back to owen! (this ones less impolite than the others but i think its silly to include)

it should be noted tho, that while this ISNT present before and after the plane, it DOES show up more prominently afterwards, and this could very much be the stress! but looking at WHY its more prominent afterwards also feels like it points more towards this just being How He Is.

all of the things hes kinda impolite abt? are things where he is TRYING to be nice, or arent unkind inherently. hes going to talk to bradley? well, doesnt bryce want to come? driving him there is more efficient anyway. oh you have work? well now you dont! so now things are easier! staying here isnt gonna make the restaurant reopen anyway! (liam also probably does NOT have the same weight associated w jobs that bryce does, since liam hasnt had a job in a capitalist society in 7 months. its probably still subconsciously there, but not at the forefront when the plane is still out there). i crashed your car? well, i think the lives of others matters a little more. you can get a new car, but if something happens to airys contestants WHO KNOWS whatll happen to them

a lot of it, i think, is made more extreme by stress and trauma, yeah, but these are patterns in logic that seem to already discard manners as being that relevant. and i, autistic, chose to view that as something hes just Like. hes not a dick and he doesnt ever mean to be! but also if someone can do something fairly minor to do something more important, why does he NEED to be polite abt it?? whats the POINT you get the same message across! and thats assuming he even REALIZES these things are "impolite," based on a lot of his interactions w vryce, i legitimately dont think he realizes how he acts could sometimes be considered 'impolite'

where bryce is knowingly kind of rude sometimes and doesnt care (though is STILL kind, he is just more blunt and uninterested in sounding nice, which i could do an entirely different essay on the autism of), liam seems to not really notice manners, nor does he think theyre very important to consider, and i just. really love that about his character :)

this is the kind of guy that, if you stubbed ur toe, hed probably not say 'oohh, sorry :(' and hed just be 'dang, that sucks' and move on

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

💛Smoshblr December Asks Day 1💙

Who are your top 3 cast members, that you always hope to see in a new video?

oh hi !! well.

i will actively click off a video if i want to see spencer agnew and my guy isn't there.

i will watch a video just for the honor of looking at olivia sui.

if this were months ago, i would have said jackie uweh. in our time of great loss (and great gain for jackie i hope she's having a fucking blast), i would probably say tommy bowe.

[madlyn5ever]

Did I start a new show because of another autistic lesbian character? Maybe. Did I start it from season 5 episode 11 because that’s when the character is introduced? Possibly.

[apple-os]

ppl who like making friends solely with one-note cardboard boxes who will hang out with them when it's convenient and never open up about who they are as people and what their lives are like dni

[sevenstevearmy]

I hate allistics so fucking bad*. Autistic people will literally go "I'm pretty sure this guy has autism and at the very least you are demonizing autistic traits while you talk about him so could you talk about what he actually did wrong instead of how creepy, weird, insane, and psycho you think he is" and allistics will go "not all NTs are autistic, I'm not autistic and also I don't have a degree, nor am I this person's therapist but I'm pretty sure he has narcissistic personality disorder, another thing I don't have" bc he's low empathy and lied. Like fuck off. Autistic people saying "hey you're demonizing traits we have and it's very hurtful, just bc something would make you personally uncomfortable doesn't mean it's a moral failing" and getting the response "well actually it is and also it can't be autism bc autism is quirky so instead I'm going to demonize your traits passively while actively demonizing a different group of people bc they also make me uncomfortable" is fucked up.

This is an "I make NTs and occasionally NDs uncomfortable bc I am off putting and popular media likes yo act like there's something inherently wrong with me bc of things I can't control" safe space. If you're a freak and a weirdo and off putting, I love you.

*And if you're allistic and this doesn't apply, then it's not about you, congratulations, you're a rarity.

[la-galaxie-langblr]

Never beating the autism allegations

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

if I’m not #ActuallyAutistic please explain why I’m vibrating out of my skin with rage at the thumping bassline coming through the very thin walls from my neighbor’s apartment