#yes i have watched doctors shows with my mum before and she mostly laughs at inaccurate medicine

[variousqueerthings]

I like how watching MASH with my mum prompts a dozen comments on breaking the hippocratic oath and medical malpractice, I would be curious where she lands on preventative medicine 

I think this unintentional on the part of the episode, but I wonder how it feels for specifically a doctor to imagine doing that

to take s2 flagg-ep into play, imagining specifically the type of doctor that hawkeye is, who seems to have very quickly cottoned onto it being easy to have the high-ground if you’re not literally in a warzone and so doing what needs to be done for his corner of the world, vs bj who likes to hold onto the trappings of normalcy past when it makes any good sense 

leaving aside anything that the episode/writers wanted to convey, and just poking at the characters, preventative episode is near the end of s7 and so around the time when the “it’s not really about the army being bad, it’s about war-as-concept being bad” stuff took over, and the tone continued to shift into bleaker -- starting s8, but I am curious to see on this watch whether I might not feel like s7 (with peace on us, which also includes army-based antics) starts it, but just creates a last Hurrah of attempts to be ok that on my first watch translated as practically a hopeful atmosphere (lol)

*

it gives enough fuel for me to go, alright, preventative medicine is when hawkeye realises he’s alone in this, and that bj -- despite some earnest attempts here and there -- simply won’t fight on the level that he needs to fight the army + he’s been gradually going up against a higher authority than the army, Death itself (whether or not one wishes to read this as a symptom of mental health issues, I do find resonance in a bipolar hawkeye + a hawkeye who was managing himself and then he up and got sent to a warzone, which is no good for anyone)

(and would Trapper and/or Henry have pulled him aside and gone “buddy, you are not beating Death, death is normal, death is ok, the army sucks, focus on the things you can change, do you wanna take out another appendix? ok, let’s do go that”)

and so essentially this episode as the first in which he really gives up. comparably I don’t think he gives up way back in dr pierce, he “just” has a breakdown -- technically he fights all the way until they sedate him (and not because they’re technically against what he’s doing, but because he Really Needs To Sleep and admirable as shipping toilets is, it’s not what hawkeye himself would think was the best solution were he not several days into insomnia)

and every once in awhile he’ll fight once more (depressing news my beloved), but it’s mostly downhill from there/the goalpost has moved to coping as best as possible -- idk how much it was intended or not, but I feel like “say no more” being so near the end, gives a good and very upsetting blow to hawkeye’s fractured needs, once more zeroing in on who it is that’s causing all the violence. not A War, but an army general, and how he’s let that focus slide in favour of getting through the damn day and pretend-believing (as I hc it) that it’s not a system made up of people that causes all this destruction 

which reframes the ending of preventative medicine as guilt not because it was futile and bad technically for him to do what he did (it wasn’t, fuck you intended framing), but because hawkeye feels a lot of guilt for all the things he can’t do -- he talks a good game about his little corner in that one episode, but like... he literally thinks he’s going up against Death at times, he’s not being entirely rational about this

*

and on bj’s side we’ve got that relentless “I’m looking towards home” narrow focus, in which one can go, ok, well a doctor back home shouldn’t take out someone’s appendix unnecessarily, or indeed, half the shit hawkeye and trapper got up to back in seasons 1-3, which one might with this read assume bj would have not been happy about?” (idk where twice convincing someone they’re very sick lands on the medical malpractice scale, I’ll have to ask my mum)

bj wants to go home unchanged, despite all the mounting impossible-to-ignore-but-he-does-try-putting-on-blinkers-and-going-lalala evidence that that is literally not gonna happen. so it’s less about hawkeye hurting himself, less about ideals, and more about keeping his hands clean and having the high-ground for the sake of his needs 

I enjoy reading bj with all his possible flaws, I think one can say that he both wishes to help hawkeye and is selfishly focused on his own life (after all he has a wife and kid at home, the american dream to return to, unlike some others...) and those clash more and more as the show goes on (I also like resentful bj personally, bj who feels indebted to hawkeye and wants desperately to be there for hawkeye with all his ideals, and dislikes that this is at odds with what he should be doing, which is keeping himself in one mental and physical piece)

he could have done more to stop hawkeye if he really believed that this was wrong and/or it would be wrong for hawkeye. or he could have acceded that hawkeye was making points, but he personally simply couldn’t do it. what he does is stick firmly to the middle path of token resistance and a refusal to carry the burden with hawkeye, and then a somewhat useless holier-than-thou platitude about symptoms and disease that just makes hawkeye feel worse, but then also a hand on his shoulder that hawkeye briefly clings to 

best he can do

*

anyway, I wonder as I continue to watch whether my mum will stick firmly to the ideals she has in a reality in which she hasn’t worked in a warzone, which will put her firmly on bj’s side, or if she’ll poke at things and imagine herself in such a situation (not that I’m trying to torture her, I’m just curious)

there’s something very interesting about doctors vs not-doctors in terms of putting themselves aside from other people in order to do their jobs sometimes, and it’s not necessarily a good thing (it’s a reason I’m scared of doctors outside of my mum and her friends, but those experiences have been firmly not like that, because we all know each other) but it does have a point to it, and the hippocratic oath is one of those things that help you set yourself apart/to a higher ideal, for better or for worse

and hawkeye has a very interestingly loose relationship with it from the get-go, and I think that that’s a much more interesting lens through which to watch preventative medicine than “is he right or is he wrong” -- instead it’s a character drama between his needs and bj’s needs

and on that note my other episode that I’m most curious about my mum’s reaction to is “heal thyself”

humanising doctors, the horror!

[agustdakasuga]

Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 14

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Going to Florida on vacation also seemed to be the perfect time to find out where the other boys came from and their pasts. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

Chapter warning(s): The boys share their pasts, which can be rough. Mentions of suicide, past abuse, PTSD. There’s also quite some drinking in this chapter.

“He’s fine. Just a little bit too much sun.” You chuckled in a whisper, tucking Jin under the blanket. With that, you exited the room with the 6 others. The oldest had felt a little faint after playing in the sun, which led to his current state.

“We should-”

RINGGGGGGG

“Ugh, one minute.” Jimin took his phone out of his pocket, walking away to answer his call. You and Jungkook looked at each other, shrugging. You headed to the living room, with you draping your legs over Hoseok to watch television, not that Hoseok minded.

“Jin hyung is asleep... That means his snacks are unguarded!” Jungkook shot up from the couch, running to the pantry.

“Nothing stand between him and food.” Taehyung raised an eyebrow. Namjoon shook his head and chuckled, bidding all of you goodbye before leaving with a book tucked under his arm.

“What’s for dinner?” Yoongi asked.

“I think steak and pasta.” Jungkook said, mouth stuffed to the brim with cookies. The staff that worked here had the same schedule as those back in Korea.

“What shall we do tonight?”

“I don’t know. We should stay in on our first night. To just... chill.” Hoseok shrugged and everyone nodded in agreement.

“Even when we put a vacation notice out, work doesn’t seem to stop coming.” Jimin stormed in, complaining. Taehyung raised an eyebrow at his best friend, shifting to let him sit on the couch.

“That’s what you get for opening a new place 2 weeks before the vacation. And a big place, with a lot of manpower needed.” Jungkook scoffed. Jimin sighed, full of regret. He had opened a new male host lounge for ladies 2 weeks ago and safe to say, the business was booming. His phone was ringing non-stop from wanting business partners.

“I’ll just leave it to the others to handle.” Jimin said.

“Yeah, put the phone away. You’re here to relax.” You put your hands behind your head.

“I’m guessing you did the same?” Yoongi faced you.

“My family knows I’m on vacation. There’s an emergency number if they really need to reach me, which I doubt they will. It’s my last vacation before I have to hear my mother start nagging me again.” You rolled your eyes.

“Nag you?” Taehyung tilted his head.

“My brother’s, her star child, is coming into town with my very pregnant sister-in-law for the birth of her second grandchild.” You explained and the boys all nodded, understanding. At the ball where they met your parents, there was a brief mention of your older brother.

“I was an only child. Never had siblings. Omma was worried that if she had another, he or she would come out sick like me.” Jimin forced a smile.

“I’m sorry, Chim.” You reached over to hold his hand.

“It’s okay. Fortunately, Yoongi hyung was there to break me out of the hospital.” He turned to the older, who was sitting on the adjacent couch, sipping from his red wine glass.

“You broke him out of a hospital?” Your eyes widened. Yoongi let out a long sigh, placing his glass on the table.

“Since she couldn’t figure out the reason why Jimin was always sick, Mrs Park thought the only way to provide Jimin the care he needed was to lock him in a hospital.” He explained. Jimin cleared his throat.

“I first met Yoongi hyung at a martial arts convention. Since I used to train in kendo, omma let me go but I couldn’t participate in the demonstration. When he found out that omma checked me into the hospital, he got me out and brought me to join the family. Even when I was sick, Yoongi hyung and Namjoon hyung took care of me.” Jimin gave a small smile.

“I mean, since we’re telling our family stories, my mother abandoned me when I was younger, at an amusement park. I joined an orphanage after.” Hoseok said.

“Yoongi hyung’s father adopted me to be hyung’s playmate but that was it. We could only see each other during playtime. Other than that, I stayed in the small hut in the backyard.” Hoseok continued.

“It was practically a tool shed with a mattress.” Yoongi said bitterly.

“Yoongi, so your father...”

“He was rich, powerful, as was Namjoon’s father. We had been friends for a long time since our fathers were friends. After our fathers died, we dissolved their associations and formed our own.” Yoongi explained.

“I see... I didn’t know both your fathers were also... in the same line of business.” You tried to speak.

“With the way my father treated Hoseok and my mother, we don’t bring him up. Same with Namjoon.” Yoongi said but there was a warning tone in his voice.

“I-Is it, my turn?” Jungkook lifted his head.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” You comforted. Jungkook took a deep breath, shaking his head. If anything, he trusted you and wanted you to know his background.

“I was quite a small kid, so I was generally quite quiet in school. I had one older brother. Mum and dad worked a lot so it was mostly my brother and me. At first, hyung was the best brother I could ever ask for. He took care of me, protected me, everything.” Jungkook gulped.

“Then one day, he started treating me like I was invisible, at school and at home. That progressed to him hitting me and bullying me, hurting me.” He said sadly.

“Jungkook...” Jimin said sadly.

“Namjoon hyung was passing by an alley when my brother almost beat me to death. He brought me to the hospital to get treated. Since then, I’ve been living with him.” Jungkook finished.

“Did your parents come find you?” You asked.

“They never believed me when I told them hyung hurt me. He must have told them I ran away or something since he thinks he left me for dead.” 

“But you’re stronger now.” Taehyung patted Jungkook’s head. Considering Taehyung didn’t start his background story, the others assumed that he already told you about him.

“Dinner is served.” The butler informed, breaking the thick tension in the air from all the heavy conversations. 

“I’ll get the others.” You said, going to head upstairs. The first person you checked on was Jin, he was still fast asleep, which you let him be. Namjoon was standing in the hallways, outside of Jin’s bedroom.

“I heard what the boys told you.” He said. You nodded your head in acknowledgement.

“(y/n), I think you know that with such backgrounds, it’s not all black and white for them. On top of always falling ill, Jimin lived with a fear of being a burden, like how his own mother treated him. Yoongi hyung lives with the guilt of how his father treated Hoseok. He feels the need to make it up to him with his life.” Namjoon started.

“Hoseok is afraid of abandonment. Taehyung dealt with meltdowns, panic attacks, so much trauma. You’ve seen it, he’s still not over what happened to him.”

“And Jungkook, I can’t tell you the number of times I had to stop him from taking his own life. He was afraid of being hurt by the one he loved, just like before.” Namjoon sighed.

“I know, Namjoon. It must have been a lot for you and Yoongi to face, along with your own fears. But look at who you saved. Where would they all be now if you and Yoongi didn’t help them?” You placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Everyone comes with their own battle scars. But that’s what makes us human and survivors, right?” You smiled.

“You always know what to say, doc.” Namjoon chuckled.

“Of course. I’m the best, am I not?” You nudged him, making him laugh even more. With that, the two of you headed downstairs to the dining room, where the others were seated around the table. Namjoon sat at the head of the table while you sat between Jungkook and Yoongi.

“Let’s eat.” Namjoon waved for the wait staff to bring in the trays of food and pour the drinks. Even if the dinner was quieter than usual, it wasn’t suffocating. You’ve reached a new level of understanding with the boys. 

“What shall we do tomorrow?” Jimin asked. 

“I wanna go look around the city. If possible. Maybe buy some things for myself.” You shrugged.

“Yes! Shopping! We’ll come too!” Taehyung and Jungkook cheered. You smiled, somehow knowing that it was going to be chaotic with the boys. Hoseok clapped his hands in excitement. 

“What if I wanna go on my own?” You raised an eyebrow. 

“No way! It’s not safe for you to be on your own.” Jungkook shook his head, putting his arms in a cross. 

“Are you saying I am not capable to defending myself?” You asked him with a smirk.

“Ooh, you’ve done it now, Kook.” 

“Yeah, even I don’t go there.” Yoongi decided to join in on the fun of teasing the maknae. Jungkook’s eyes widened when he realised what he did, immediately facing you and rubbing his hands together in an apologetic matter.

“I’m sorry! You are very much capable of defending yourself! Even better than me or anyone else because you’re a strong, independent woman! I would never doubt your strength! Please don’t kill me!” He rambled on. You threw your head back in laughter, reaching over to pat his head. Even the others just looked on in amusement. 

“Alright, let’s stop teasing, Koo.” You said. 

After dinner, everyone was gathered back in the living room, watching some show that was playing on the television. 

“The night is young! We should party!” Hoseok declared. 

"This is not going to end well.” Yoongi clicked his tongue with a shake of his head. It was obvious he had to deal with his drunk brothers multiple times before. 

“I brought drinks and snacks!” Jungkook brought two big trays out, one with different alcoholic drinks and the other filled with snacks, courtesy of Jin’s stash. You took a bottle of beer. Hoseok and Namjoon did the same, clinking bottles with you. Jungkook grabbed some soju.

“Hyung? You want one?” Jungkook offered a filled shot glass to Taehyung. Taehyung, who doesn’t usually drink, shrugged and accepted it. Yoongi stuck to his whiskey like always.

“Honestly didn’t think the drinking was gonna start on our first night here. But I’m not one to complain.” You shrugged. 

“We’re on vacation. It’s always drinking time.” Hoseok said. 

“I agree!” Jungkook grinned. You snorted in response. Jimin decided to have soju with the other two, taking an empty shot glass. Jungkook happily filled it up for him. 

“Hey...” Jin stood at the stairwell. 

“Hey, Jin. How are you feeling?” You asked as you stood up to head to him. Jin gave a small smile and a thumbs up. 

“Are those my snacks?!” His eyes widened as he marched over. 

“Shot?” Jungkook offered as a consolation. Jin glared at the maknae but took the tiny glass, glancing over at you. You shrugged, nodding your head in approval. Hoseok and Taehyung shifted to give Jin space to sit down. Everyone with their drinks, cheered to your first night on vacation, taking a swig. You leaned against Jimin’s side. 

“Do you want dinner, Jin?” 

“Nah, I’m fine with the snacks and drinks.” He waved you off. 

“Alright but if you feel dizzy again, stop and rest. And tomorrow, please remember to hydrate yourself when out.” You lectured. The boys all groaned, even if you were only directing your words at Jin. 

“Now you’re nagging.” Taehyung boxed his ears, whining. You rolled your eyes, reaching to smack him. 

That night, when all the boys retreated to their rooms, passed out drunk, you were in your room spending some alone time. There was a knock on your door and you stood up from your bed, shuffling over to see who it was. 

“Hobi?” You were shocked. 

“C-Can I come in?” He rubbed the back of his neck. You nodded your head, stepping aside for him to enter. 

“Can’t sleep?” You asked softly. 

“Just a lot on my mind.” He admitted with a soft sigh. You sat on your bed, legs dangling off the side. You patted the space beside you and Hoseok gladly accepted, sitting beside you as the moon shined in. 

“Bringing up the past isn’t easy. It opens a lot of scars you thought were healed, memories that you thought was locked away, feelings that you thoughts were gone. It’s okay, Hobi.” You whispered with a soft smile, wrapping an arm around him. Hoseok placed his head on your shoulder. 

“It’s okay.” You comforted. 

“She left me there, all alone. For strangers to take me. And I probably will never know the reason why until the day I die.” He said aimlessly.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Hobi.” You squeezed his hand. 

“Yoongi hyung still feels so guilty for what his father did when he adopted me. But I always think that even if he did treat me badly, I still got to leave the orphanage and meet Yoongi hyung.” 

“And then you met the rest of the boys. Look how inseparable you all are now.” You stroked his head. 

“I also got to meet you.” Hoseok added. 

“I’m just there to clean your cuts and take care of you when you’re sick.” You laughed. 

“That’s not true. You mean a lot to me and everyone else, more than you’d think, (y/n).” Now, it was Hoseok holding your hands, looking into your eyes, his full of honesty and sincerity. 

-

You woke up the next morning, rubbing your temples, feeling the slight effect of the alcohol from the night before. Hoseok was still passed out beside you, sleeping soundly. You got out of bed quietly, washing up before heading downstairs. The house was quiet, signalling that maybe no one else was awake, still sleeping the alcohol off. 

“You’re up?” You nearly jumped when Yoongi appeared, drinking a cup of iced coffee, his hair slightly damp and messy from his shower. 

“Yeah. I need a hangover cure and a coffee.” You went to the kitchen. The maid brought you a cup of water and the small bottle of hangover cure. You downed the bitter liquid following that with water.

“Here.” Yoongi fixed you an iced coffee of your own. 

“Thank you.” You sipped it.

“Hoseok... he’s with you?” Yoongi cleared his throat as he asked. You nodded your head with a hum. 

“Yeah. He came over to talk then we just fell asleep after.” You explained. Yoongi gave a nod, moving to sit out on the deck. You trailed behind him quietly, taking the seat across him. All you heard were the crashing of the waves and the strong wind rustling the trees. 

“I’m part of the reason he’s like that.” Yoongi spoke. 

“Why do you burden yourself with that?” You asked back. Yoongi blinked, seemingly surprised by your words. 

“You know it’s not true, you know that Hobi doesn’t think that, and yet you force yourself to live with the guilt. You know that you’re not like your father, whatever he did to Hobi was out of your control.” You said. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yoongi said with gritted teeth. 

“Exactly, I don’t. But what I see is you feeling sorry for yourself and Hobi being worried about showing his emotions because he doesn’t want you to start feeling guilty again.” 

“He said that?” 

“Not exactly. It’s pretty obvious to a bystander.” You shrugged. 

“Yoongi, I have better things to do than to stand here and taunt you. The only people there were you and Hobi. Will anyone ever understand what each of you went through? I don’t know. You and I both know that Hobi holds whatever happened close to him. But he sees the light, even in a dark situation. If he can do that, I don’t see why you can’t.” You said. 

“I know.” Was all he could reply. 

“I’m going to check on Jin, okay?” You stood up. But you were yanked back by your wrist. Yoongi wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing his face into your middle. 

“I hate that you’re right.” He mumbled. You let out a soft hum, patting the top of his fluffy hair. When Yoongi released you, you looked down at him. 

“You saved so many of them, Yoongs. Give yourself more credit. They all look up to you for a reason.” You laughed. 

“Go check on Jin hyung.” He said, patting your hip. 

“Right on it, sir.” You saluted. That made Yoongi break out into a small smile as he watched you leave. You hummed a random tune as you headed upstairs to see how Jin was doing today. 

“Doc? You’re here.” He slowly opened his eyes, squinting to focus his vision on you. He gave you a sleepy smile. You smiled softly as you nodded, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear as you placed your hand on his forehead. He wasn’t warm to the touch. 

“How are you feeling?” You whispered. 

“Okay. Sleepy... Hungover.” He chuckled, a little embarrassed. 

“I’d bet. You can come down later to get some hangover cure. Luckily I told the butler to stock the house when we arrived yesterday.” You patted his shoulder, making him laugh. 

“(y/n)!” When you exited Jin’s room, you saw a shirtless Jungkook barreling down the hallway, headed straight for you. You jumped back but he caught you.

“Good morning, Koo.” You said in amusement as he hugged you. He mumbled something in his sleepy stupor. 

“What are you saying? I can’t understand you.” 

“I went to your room to look for you but you weren’t there. I thought Hobi hyung was you but it wasn’t. Why is Hobi hyung in your bed? Where were you? Ugh... I have a headache and I’m hungry.” He rambled. 

“Alright, alright. Slow down. I went to get some coffee to help my hangover and was with Yoongi on the deck. Then I went to check on Jin. Hobi just stayed the night after we talked. I have alka seltzer to help your hangover and I think the chefs are cooking hangover soup for all of us. Would you also please put on a shirt?” You answered all his questions, ending with one of yours. 

“I’m sleepy.” 

“I thought you were hungry?”

“I don’t know! My head hurts.” He whined. You sighed, patting his back as you led him back to his room. 

“You stay here. I’ll bring you a hangover cure then you can see how you feel after that.” You instructed. He nodded his head like an obedient child. You went downstairs to get a small bottle and a glass of water.

“Thank you.” He received the two, drinking one after another, cringing slightly at the bitterness. 

“It should help your headache and funny stomach. I’ll go check on the others to see if they need help.” You told him, tucking him back into bed under the blanket. 

“Will you come back?” He held your hand. 

~~

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[tomtenadia]

Remember Us - part 2

Double feature this week. Here we go with part 2. Rowan takes another step on the path of recovering his life.

Also, we get to meet the kids <3

------

When Aelin got home that night after her shift at the hospital, she was tired and not just from the long hours spent in OR. She was tired in her soul. Aelin had managed to keep her thoughts at bay while operating, but as soon as she was out they came back. It had been hard to fight the urge to go and see him again. He wanted space. That was clear so she just went home instead.

Once she crossed the threshold, laughter welcomed her. Her kids sounded happy.

She shed her coat and removed her shoes and followed the happy sounds.

Walking into the kitchen she found her mother cooking and Thomas helping her setting the table and little Freyja banging her plastic cutlery on her high chair. She was a shy girl but would become alive and loud when she was hungry. Just like her mum.

“Mama!” Shouted her daughter as she spotted her.

“Mum,” Thomas echoed his sister and ran to her, hugging Aelin at her knees “hi my darling, how are you?” She kneeled at his height and ruffled his blonde hair.

“Helping grandma cook.”

“Food.” Shouted Freyja who got agitated trying to get the attention of her mother. Aelin went to her daughter and lifted the wee girl in her arms “hi my love,”  and she snuggled her head against her mother’s chest.

“Hi mum,” said Aelin to Evalin. The woman stirred something in the pan and turned to her daughter “welcome back, darling.” She said and her gaze turned worried at her daughter’s tired expression.

Aelin shook her head, knowing what her mother was about to say “later,” she added. She did not want to talk about Rowan in front of the kids.

“Come on Tom, sit at the table. Dinner is ready.” On his grandma’s orders the boy climbed on his chair and started eating his meal.

Aelin joined them a moment later, all changed in house clothes and sat at her daughter’s side.

Thomas was three and had just started learning how to use a fork properly. They would cut the food for him and he would try to use the utensil. Rowan had been teaching him. A pang of sadness hit her and pushed back the tears, now it was not the time. She would feed Freyja who was only eighteen months old.

“Did you help grandma cook?”

The boy nodded while taking a bite from his fork and gave her a big smile. His green eyes lighting up with joy. Eyes just like his father’s.

“Aelin, let me feed Freyja. You have your dinner. You haven’t touched it yet.”

Aelin shook her head “I am fine. It can wait.”

Truth was… she felt nauseous and that feeling had nothing to do with being pregnant. It was fear. Terror of losing Rowan. Terror that he would never recover his memories and her kids would be left without a father and her without her soulmate. She almost lost him once. She would never forget the day she got the call from the hospital. Those horrible moments were forever etched in her memory.

Later on that night, once the kids were in bed Evalin joined her daughter on the sofa and brought her a chamomile tea.

“The kids are asleep. What’s troubling you?”

Aelin sighed and her hand went to her stomach “Rowan woke up.”

“Today?”

She nodded in confirmation and leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder “I had just left the OR when I got a page from his doctor. I went to his room and he was awake,” a loud sob broke from her lips “he does not remember me or the kids.”

Evalin pulled her daughter closer and hugged her knowing the pain she had been feeling for the past month “Yrene had told you it might happen.”

Aelin nodded slightly “I didn’t think it could hurt that much. He had no idea who I was. He doesn’t remember our kids.” Her sobs turned into proper crying “I am so scared, mum. So, so scared.”

“I know, darling.” Evalin kissed her daughter’s head “you will have to be strong a bit longer. Does the doctor think he will regain his memory?”

Aelin gave her a small nod “but it might take time and what if he realises that he doesn’t want us in his life anymore?”

“Rowan loves you and the kids madly. The road ahead might be bumpy but he will come back.” A ragged breath escaped from Aelin. She hoped her mother was right, because if she was not she doubted she would survive loosing him a second time.

*

Rowan woke up the next morning with an horrendous headache. He had a fitful sleep and his thoughts had been stuck all night on her. Aelin. His wife. At her side two small shadows representing their kids. In his mind he had this picture of him holding someone, the smell of lemon and verbena strong around him. But he was sure it was more a feeling than an actual memory. He had woken up all of a sudden and hadn’t been able to fall asleep properly since. His body recognised the other one. 

A nurse brought breakfast and of one thing he was sure. He hated hospital food. Which led to another series of questions. What did he eat for breakfast? Was he a good cook? What was his favourite food?

Reluctantly he finished the food on his tray and decided to kill the boredom by watching tv. According to the news it was January and the meteorologist were warning all the citizens of Terrasen of a snowstorm warning.

He was so bored watching the news that he felt glad when Aelin knocked on the doorframe “Mind if I come in?”

He shook his head “is tv always this boring?”

Aelin chuckled and for a second she saw a glimpse of him. He always hated tv. The only reason they had one in the house was because she had pestered him about it “yeah. You find reading more interesting.”

He switched off the television and faced her “I am…”  he sighed “yesterday… I was overwhelmed. It was… it still is too much.”

“I know,”said Aelin trying to suppress the instinct to touch him. Not until he was okay with it.

“Tell me something about me, about my life. Us… anything.” He started, eager to know more. He needed it “do I like breakfast?”

Aelin laughed “you do, and you are a great cook. On Saturdays you always make us pancakes and let Thomas help you flip them.” She smiled at the image. Thomas on his knees on a chair beside his dad.

“You are a healthy eater so you tend to scoff enormous quantities of fruit and veggies while complaining about my crazy dietary habits.”

She was dying to show him pictures of the kids but decided against it. One step at a time. Let him become familiar with the idea of being married first.

“You are a lawyer. A kickass one at that.” His green eyes were trained on her “you and Lorcan opened your own practice. After graduation you two got a job in a fancy company but eventually got tired of dealing with rich bastards and opened a firm that deals mostly with family law but also offers legal support to us common human beings.” She had been so proud of him. The big job had left him miserable and with very little time to live. He had been stressed and after two years he had realised that the huge salary was not worth it. Lorcan had followed him and together they had started their new adventure. They had started small snd simple, but slowly as they took in more cases they had to start hiring more people and the firm had gotten bigger and successful.

“You love hiking, nature in general and winter. We are both in love with theatre and on our first date you took me to a play.”

Rowan looked at her and that tug in his chest came back for a visit.

“We have been married for seven years and you proposed at my best friend’s wedding. We were dancing and you asked me what if we were the next ones to do that? Then you went on one knee and asked me to marry you.”

He kept listening, adding some more pieces of info to what he had gathered so far. And the more Aelin spoke the more that connection he had felt the day before grew stronger.

“What type of doctor are you?”

“I am the chief of paediatric neurosurgery and I work two floors above this.”

Rowan took a deep breath and asked a question that had been burning in him since she has appeared “do you have any photos of us, of the kids?”

Aelin felt like crying and extracted her mobile phone and scrolled through her huge quantity of photos “This is Thomas. He is three.”

Rowan looked at the boy and saw a blond mop of hair just as golden as his mother’s and two striking green eyes just like his. In the photo the boy was laughing while he held him in his arms.

Aelin swiped and the image of a little girl appeared and he gasped. There was no doubt that she was his daughter. Her hair was silver as his and even her eyes were the exact copy.

“She is so much like you.” He noticed the smile appearing on Aelin’s face. While she talked about their life her face had lit up and in front of him he had the most stunning woman he had ever seen. Probably. He wasn’t sure but Aelin took his breath away.

“Are we happy? As a family?”

Aelin nodded without even thinking about it. They were, she had no doubts about it “Yes. We wanted a family, kids. It was our choice.”

Rowan nodded and wanted to believe her, needed to believe the passion and the love in her voice.

“I need time.” He said quietly, averting his gaze from hers for just a brief moment “This is a lot that I need to process. I will need time but I want to hear more.”

Aelin sobbed and grabbed her backpack and extracted another mobile phone “this is yours. It survived the crash because you used a military grade protecting cover. I just charged it. The password is 0305.” She gave him the mobile “it has photos, texts. Everything is still there, maybe it will help.”

Aelin looked at her watch and stood “I have to go, I have a surgery in two hours.”

Rowan nodded.

“You can text me if you want. My contact is under Fireheart.”

He looked at the phone and then at her “will you come back?”

Aelin took a step toward him and kissed his silver hair as she did the previous day and then nodded.

She waved at him and disappeared through the door.

He moved his attention to the phone and tried to figure out how to switch it on. Once he did it asked him a pin code and he entered the digits she had told him.

Once the phone was unlocked he was welcomed by a picture of him, Aelin and the kids on a beach. He had Freyja on his shoulders and was laughing as she patted his head. Aelin was holding Thomas potato sack style and the boy was grinning. With his fingers he traced her face and then went looking for the photo album. Before opening he hesitated. His life, his memories were there and he was scared.

There were picture of his wife. Plenty of them and she always had an amazing smile. Of one thing he was sure:Aelin took his breath away. Photos of their kids and he spotted one of what he suspected was a newborn Freyja. He held the little bundle in his arms while Thomas was at his side staring at his sister. He saw happiness, he saw joy, but most of all he saw love. Deep love that bound the four of them. Aelin had not lied. They seemed happy. He found photos of what he assumed were friends but he could not tell who they were, he hadn’t covered that part yet. Accepting the idea of a wife and kids was hard enough. He was not ready yet to add more people. The mere idea made him feel dizzy.

He was getting tired again even if it was only morning, but he pushed through and found the app with the text messages and went to look at the ones from Aelin and he read the last one she sent him go and win your case and then tonight I will show you how proud I am of my sexy lawyer.

He scrolled back through the thread and read random texts between them until he went back a few months and saw a text with a picture attached.

You are away for work and I miss you. I went for my first proper check-up and I am proud to share with you the picture of the new member of our family. The image was greyish and grainy but the message was clear: Aelin was pregnant again.

He placed the phone on his lap and closed his eyes calming the sense of panic overwhelm him.

And with his eyes closed he tried to remember.

[pennylanefics]

Baby Girl - Finn Cole

a/n: thanks to the anon who sent this idea in :) i don’t think this is written well, but it is super sweet

•••

Finn laid next to you, cuddled up in your arms, his hand resting on your stomach. You two just found out exciting yet scary news that you were pregnant. It wasn’t planned, which is why you, mostly, were nervous. You had no idea what the future would hold, all you knew was that Finn was so happy.

“Love, are you doing okay?” Finn asks in a soft voice. He gazes up at you, rubbing his thumb against the fabric of your t-shirt.

“Yeah, just thinking.” He sits up and leans against the headboard, staring at you with curiosity.

“About what?” This is where you had to tell him you were terrified. In all of the joy and celebration over the fact that you were becoming a family, you didn’t realize all of the hardships that were to come. You weren’t that young, both of you in your mid-to-late twenties, so you were well off and prepared financially, but the idea of being a mother was scaring you.

“Everything. Will I even be a good mother? Will something happen before my due date that puts them or me at risk? Will I even make it to the second trimester without a misscarriage?”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Finn coos, pulling you into his chest and rocking gently side to side. His hand strokes your hair softly, in a comforting way.

“You need to not stress out. We’ll get through this, love. You’re going to be an amazing mother, I know it. You are always so good with my nieces and nephews, I know you’re going to be the best mum, there’s no doubt in my mind.” A small smile makes its way onto your lips and you snuggle closer to Finn.

“You think so?”

“I know so. We’re going to be great parents. I can’t wait till we have our small family.”

“Can we get a cat too?” Finn sighs dramatically and at that moment, Molly jumps up onto the bed.

“We already have Molly.”

“She’s yours, though. You got her when we weren’t together. This cat will be ours.”

“We’ll see in a couple months.”

“I’ll ask you when I’m ready to pop and you can’t say no to me,” you joke, making Finn laugh, since he knew full well that you were telling the truth; there was no way he could say no to anything when you’re about to give birth to his child.

—

You were now four months along and ready to find out the sex of the baby. You and Finn weren’t up for waiting weeks to find out with a reveal party, so you decided to just find out the old-fashioned way, while at the doctor’s appointment.

“Hi, how are you feeling?” Your doctor comes in with a smile on her face. You return the gesture and lay back on the table, Finn by your head.

“I’m feeling great.”

“Any nausea?”

“Some, but it’s only triggered by certain foods and scents, so I’ve been cautious and staying away from them.”

“That’s good. Any other pains, cramps, problems that you’ve had so far?”

“Nope. Everything’s good.”

“Great. So you know the drill, I’m gonna have you lay back and put the gel on your stomach.” You do as she says, feeling the cool gel on your warm skin.

Finn holds your hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m so excited,” he whispers, making your doctor chuckle.

“It is a pretty exciting thing. You’re the most eager dad I’ve seen today.”

“Yeah, Finn’s very ecstatic for this appointment. He’s been up early just waiting to leave.” She moves the wand around your stomach, searching for the baby. Within a few minutes, a heartbeat rings out in the room.

Even though he’s heard it before at a couple appointments, Finn can’t help but tear up every single time. His grip tightens a bit and you look behind you, up at him. His smile is huge and his eyes are filled with adoration.

“Would you like to know the sex?” Your doctor asks.

“Yes,” both you and Finn reply at the same time. She looks back to the monitor, continuing to examine the picture before turning back to you two.

“Congratulations, it’s a girl!” Finn has to keep himself from falling to the ground upon hearing that he has a daughter. He’s always dreamed of having a daughter, and he was really hoping that your child would be one. And now his dream was coming true.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, tears involuntarily streaming down his cheeks. “We’re having a little girl.”

“We are,” you beam, pulling him down to hug him. He holds you tightly as the doctor prints some photos and cleans you up.

“We have to go shopping,” Finn says to you as soon as you get into the car.

“What?”

“We have to go buy stuff for her.”

“Finn, we have five more months to buy things.”

“I know, but can we?” He was basically acting like a little kid wanting to go to the toy store. But seeing how he reacted to having a girl, you couldn’t say no. As soon as you agree, he puts the car in drive and begins his way to the store.

You two spend a good hour in there, Finn picking out an insane amount of onesies, bows and shoes. He even picks out a few toys for her, even though she won’t play with them until she was months old.

“Okay, I don’t think we need anymore onesies or clothes,” you say as you put everything you bought into a box labeled “baby” for her nursery that you two would be fixing up in the coming months.

“I couldn’t help myself. Everything is so cute and I’m so excited to see her in them,” he replies, falling onto the bed. Once you finish, you join him, curling up in his arms.

“It’s all pretty adorable.” Finn’s hand goes right to your belly, a habit that increased in the past month, and stares down at you.

“I’m so thankful that you’re giving me a daughter, giving us a daughter. I can’t begin to explain how much it means to me,” he whispers.

“Well, you are the one that got me pregnant, so I really have no choice.” You both laugh, but you know what he means.

“I love you, Finn. There’s no one else in the world that I want to start a family with.”

“I love you too, darling. And I already love our little girl so much.”

—

You were on the couch, relaxing for night after a day of work. Thankfully, you weren’t in too much pain, but you were exhausted, even though you only worked about four to five hours. Finn was filming in the city for the day, so you were alone until he got home.

It had been raining all day, so Finn stumbles inside, soaked to the bone.

“Hi love,” he breathes out, dropping his things to the floor. He shrugs his coat off and rubs his hands together for some warmth.

“Did you walk home or something?” You wonder, sitting up. His hair was dripping wet and his cheeks were slightly tinted pink.

“Yeah. I took the underground to the city and couldn’t hail a cab home because of the rain.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower to warm up and I’ll make you a cup of tea and some cookies.”

“That sounds lovely, thank you.” Finn disappears into your bedroom and you get up to make his drink.

About ten minutes later, Finn returns, dressed in pajamas and drying his hair with a small towel. You just finished pouring the hot water over the bag of tea in the two glasses as he comes up behind you, resting his hands on your stomach.

“I missed you both today,” he mumbles into your neck. Giggling, you turn around to give him a proper hug.

“We missed you too.”

“Has she kicked yet? I feel like I’m missing out on so much.”

Finn hated that he still had to work during this time, but you assured him that he wasn’t missing too much. She was moving around, but she has yet to kick. That is, until tonight.

You two cuddle up on the couch and once Finn finishes his tea and cookies, he lays down, resting his head in your lap. He doesn’t care much about the TV, so he faces your bump, his hands laying on it, waiting for something to happen.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, playing with it absentmindedly as you watched a movie. Suddenly, Finn sits up, eyes going wide and his jaw dropping a bit. You know exactly what he’s excited about.

“You felt that?” You smile, placing your hands on the spot you felt the kick come from.

“Yeah.” His smile is huge and his eyes are locked on your stomach. Lifting your shirt, you put his hands back on it, hoping that she would kick again.

“Come on, baby girl. Kick for us, we wanna feel it,” he whispers against your bump.

“You gotta be patient, Finn. She’ll do it again.” Soon enough, she kicks right against Finn’s hand, making his tears fall.

“Oh my gosh, this is amazing,” he blubbers. Through the past six months, Finn’s been super emotional and loving, which means he’s been crying a lot more; it doesn’t bother you, it only shows that he’s so happy and so ready for this.

He goes back to laying down, continuing to run his hands all over your bump to get her to keep moving and reacting. He even sang quietly, which she loved because she started to move around a lot more.

You could tell she was definitely going to be a daddy’s girl.

—

As the months continue to pass, Finn becomes even more affectionate, if that’s possible. He gives you massages and foot rubs whenever you want, he runs you baths almost every night to help you relax, especially at the end of your pregnancy; he tries to make you rest as much as you can, which is why you didn’t help with the nursery.

He got his brothers to help him paint and put together furniture while you laid around, per Finn’s requests, since you were “doing enough by just growing her”. They painted the room grey and green and decorated with elephants, since both of you didn’t want something too focused on pink or blue, as colors have no gender.

It was a long day for them, but once it was finished, Finn was so happy and everything was starting to feel real. You spend the rest of the night putting away her clothes in drawers and organizing diapers, bows, everything that you bought and got from your baby shower.

“I’m so ready for her to get here,” Finn whispers as he wraps his arms around your body.

“Me too. She’ll be here soon. I feel like I’m ready to pop.” He chuckles and kisses your neck, smiling when he feels small kicks and movement from your bump.

“She seems excited, too.”

“I’m still really nervous.” Finn turns you around and brings you in for a sweet kiss.

“I’m going to be right by your side the entire time. Tomorrow’s my last day of filming, and then I’m all yours. You have nothing to worry about. We’re going to a great hospital with amazing doctors, you’ll be safe and so will she.” You’ve voiced your concerns about labor to Finn a while ago, when you attended lamaze classes together; that’s when everything started to feel real and you had to come with the fact that this baby was going to have to come out.

“You think so?” Finn nods and kisses you again, then presses his lips all over your face. Once he finishes, he falls to his knees, lifting your shirt up to expose your bump.

“I do. I’m sure that you’ll push through it with ease. You’re so incredibly strong, I know you’ll do great.” His lips roam all over your stomach, his hands doing the same, following in the path of his lips.

—

“Finn?!” You scream out, trying to sit up in bed. He was working around the house, cleaning things up and doing the laundry. Within seconds, he comes running in, a panicked expression on his face.

“What? What’s wrong, love?” He is by your side, wanting to help you with whatever.

“My water finally broke.” He helps you stand and removes the sheets to wash them later, or he would have Joe do it when he comes to check on Molly.

Finn first helps you change your pants, slipping on a pair of his sweats before grabbing the hospital bag and walking down the stairs with you as slow as you need to.

He stays calm the entire time, knowing that you’d be freaking out enough for the both of you, so he wanted to stay calm for your sake. After arriving at the hospital and getting dressed in a gown, things start to settle down, and that’s when the waiting game begins. Finn texts his family to let them know that you’ve gone into labor, but don’t want any visitors at the time.

It’s a long and painful day, and as Finn promised, he is right by your side. When you need help getting through a contraction, he is there for you. When you aren’t comfortable, he tries to fix whatever you need fixed. He massages your shoulders and legs when you get a cramp, he wipes the sweat from your forehead, anything you need.

Finally, after over twenty-four hours in labor, your baby girl is finally here. You were crying non-stop, partially from the pain, partially from the emotions running through you. Finn was super supportive though. Once your body relaxed, he wipes away the dried and fresh tears with his thumb, hearing the sounds of your baby through the room.

They cleaned her up a little bit before placing her on your chest, which was covered with a cloth. Finn began to cry as well, finally seeing his daughter for the first time.

“She’s so beautiful,” he whispers, stroking her forehead. They call him over to cut the cord, then take her away to get cleaned up and measured.

“I am so damn proud of you, love,” Finn whispers against your forehead. He leaned down to hug you, his arm going around your shoulder. Yours wrap around his back, crying even more at his voice.

“You did such a great job. You’re so fucking strong and I can’t believe we have our Flora now. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Finn. I’m so glad that’s over with,” you mumble through sobs. He chuckles through his tears as well and kisses your sweaty head.

Two days go by and you and Finn are ready to leave the hospital. And things don’t get any easier once you’re at home.

As soon as you step foot in the door, you are heading right towards the shower, still feeling gross from a couple days ago. Finn takes this opportunity to show your newborn daughter around the house, being careful of Molly’s excitement.

When you are clean and dressed, you walk into the living room to find Finn sitting with Molly on the couch, with your daughter in her car seat on the coffee table.

“Hey,” you whisper, taking a seat next to him. “What did you do while I was gone?”

“I showed her around the house. Showed her our bedroom, her bedroom, the backyard, introduced Molly to her.” You look over at the dog and see that she’s staring at the newborn in wonder.

“She’s going to love her new sister.” Finn turns his attention to you and he is still so in awe of you.

“I’m so in love with you,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek and jaw line. “Thank you for giving us a beautiful little girl.”

Of course, that peace doesn’t last long. As soon as she wakes up from her nap, you change her and put her in a different onesie. To give you and Finn some rest, you place her in her crib for the night and head back to your room, turning the monitor on. You finally relax and snuggle up into your boyfriend’s arms.

Around two in the morning, Flora’s piercing scream sounds through the monitor, though Finn is fast asleep. You get up and trudge to her room across the hall. Picking her up, you realize that she’s hungry, so you take a seat in the rocking chair.

Since it was rather warm in the house, you discard your shirt fully and begin feeding her, making sure she stays latched to your breast and is getting what she needs. Your head falls against the back of the chair and your eyes close, exhaustion creeping back into you.

Finn soon realizes that you’re not beside him, yet his baby’s cries didn’t wake him. So, he gets up and goes to find you, seeing that the nursery door is cracked open, he investigates. He peeps through the crack, finding you rocking in the chair, half awake, feeding your daughter.

He quietly steps inside, trying to stay unknown, but he is given away by the floor creaking underneath his feet. Your head snaps up, but you relax once you see it’s only Finn.

“Hi,” you whisper, offering him a small smile. “Flora was hungry.”

He moves the ottoman of the rocking chair to sit next to you, stroking Flora’s hair as softly as ever. You glance at him and notice the pure love in his eyes; a look he’s only ever given you.

“I can’t get over how beautiful she is,” he whispers. His fingers dance down her head, to your arm, and landing on your thigh. “And she’s all ours.”

“I know,” you grin, staring down at her. She keeps her tiny eyes on you, a content look in them as she eats. “She’s so precious.”

You continue to feed her and Finn stays in his spot, watching you two in adoration. When she finishes, he takes her from you and begins to burp her gently. You slip your shirt back on and stay seated, resting your eyes once more. Finn spends a couple minutes with her in his arms before setting her down in her crib. She rustles for a few seconds before settling back down, full and clean and ready for sleep.

You stand and come up behind Finn, who can’t take his eyes off of her just yet.

“You know,” he begins, his voice quiet, “I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you.” Since you were still very emotional, you couldn’t help but tear up.

“Finn, stop,” you sob. He chuckles and turns around to hug you close to him.

“I mean it. I knew I was going to love Flora no matter what, but I didn’t expect it to be so…” His own tears interrupt his little speech and you two just stand there, embracing one another during this new experience.

“You two are my world. Ten years ago, I would have never guessed that I would be with someone I care for and love so much, let alone have a daughter with them. And now I have both of those.”

“I love you too, Finn.”

“Even though you made me try some of your weird ass cravings last month.” You giggle through your tears and look up at him.

“Hey. Don’t blame me, blame your daughter. She’s the one who gave them to me.”

“Meh. I’d rather blame you. You were there at the time, and look how precious she is! I can’t hate on her.”

“Oh but you can hate on me?” Finn laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“No, I can’t. But I need to blame someone, and she’s not even a week old yet. She doesn’t even know she exists.”

“Fair. Now come on, let’s head back to bed before we wake her up.” Finn takes your hand and walks you back to your room, helping you climb into bed and bringing you into his arms once both of you are comfortable.

“(Y/N)?” FInn wonders.

“Hm?”

“What do you think Flora will be like?” You think for a moment, feeling Finn’s fingertips run up and down underneath your shirt, making you even more tired.

“I think she’ll be just like you. Caring, honest, extremely loving, insanely sweet.” A small smile tugs at his lips as he thinks about the future of you three.

“I think she’s going to look just like you,” he whispers. “She’s going to have your beautiful eyes, your hair, and your nose.”

“No, she’ll definitely have your nose. And lips,” you say, reaching up to kiss both of them.

“I can’t wait for the future,” he murmurs against your lips after pulling you back in for a longer kiss.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Twelve

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut! 7.6K

Masterpost

It was sad putting your two weeks in at Mark It, but everyone understood. You were extremely grateful for every single opportunity they had given you. But sometimes a bird needs to leave the nest. You promised you’d talk up the company to any undergrads you come across. You were able to get onto the university’s insurance right away, and you added Harry to your plan.

One night Harry was rubbing your feet while you were both sitting on the couch.

“So do you need to go to campus a bunch? Or can you do a lot from home?”

“I’m going to be on campus for as long as I can, set up my office and all that. It’s nice, I even have a window! I feel like I’ll be able to concentrate in the space a little easier.”

“My mum was wondering if we wanted her and Gem to come here for Christmas this year instead of us flying out.”

“Oh.” You frown. “No, I want you to be able to see your friends. This is when you usually get to see Louis. I can still fly, the doctor said it was okay.”

“Are you sure you can swing that? I mean, you have so much to do with your new job.”

“We only go for the holidays, the school won’t even be open. We’re only gone for seven days. I’d rather go to London, but that’s very sweet of her to offer.”

“If that’s the case, she was wondering when we’re going to set up a registry. I think she wants to throw you an early baby shower since they probably won’t be able to come here for that.”

“Oh, um, this is sort of awkward, but we don’t do that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, Jewish people, we don’t do baby showers.”

“Why not?”

“It’s bad luck.” You shrug. “You’re not supposed to buy gifts for the baby or bring anything into the home ahead of time. My mom said we could put things in her basement.”

“So we can’t even set up the nursery? I mean, I was ready to start gettin’ the bed out of there. I was thinking of turning the loft into the guest room.”

“What about your desk and all of your things?”

“I don’t really work from home much anymore, and I’d like to still have a place for my family to sleep when they come visit.”

“Alright, and we can set up the nursery, like we can paint and stuff. We can put the crib in there, but maybe not the padding or the blankets. We can get the registry set up and just put my mom’s address on there. I know she was thinking of doing a combined mommy shower for myself and Erica.”

“Mommy shower?”

“It’s sort of a loophole to the baby shower thing. Everyone brings gifts for the parents to be.”

“Ohhh, I like that. I’ll tell my mum to do that instead. I’m sure she’d love the idea of buying you a ton of things.”

“She doesn’t need to.”

“I know, but this is her first grandchild and she feels far away from it, you know? She wants to spoil us, you.”

“Alright, then I won’t argue.”

“Come here, come sit in my lap.”

You get up and climb on top of him. He holds you close to him. He gives you kisses and you give them back. He feels a wetness on his neck from where you’ve buried your face.

“Are you crying?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” He can’t help but chuckle.

“I’m just so happy.” You look up at him. “I thought starting a new job and rearranging all our furniture and stuff would be stressful. I thought with our friends living further away we’d never see them, but we see them all the time still. Things are good, Harry.”

“They’re very good, darlin’.” He kisses your forehead. You roll your hips down on him.

“Will you take me to the bedroom?”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.”

He picks you up carefully, and carries you down the hall. Things were really good.

//

“Let me get a good look at yeh, spin around.” You turn around in your maternity outfit for him. You still weren’t that big, but you were carrying a lot of your weight in your lower stomach, so normal pants were no longer an option. Instead you opted for leggings and a long sleeve flowy dress to wear over them. “What time’s your first class?”

“9:30.” You beam.

“Have a great first day, I can’t wait to hear all about it.” Harry kisses you and sends you off into the cold.

Your commute to school wouldn’t be a long one, which was nice. Since you weren’t hired as a research faculty, and since you couldn’t start your PhD yet, you did have to work Monday through Friday, but most days you’d be home around 3PM, which was really nice. You’d be teaching a couple of intro communication courses, at two sections each, and then two sections of an upper level film criticism course. You were thrilled.

You go to your office first to drop off your coat, and change your shoes. You didn’t need to wear your boots all day. Your friends had sent you good luck texts and other well wishes. You make your way to the elevator and head upstairs. There were a couple of early birds there, and you smile at them as you get your laptop set up with the computer.

You wait until 9:35 to get started, letting any stragglers come into the room. Once everyone is seated, you close the door.

“Good morning everyone, lucky you, we get to do this three times a week. I know 9:30 is early so coffee and other snacks are fine with me. I know some professors don’t allow that, but I don’t really care. Just make sure your neighbor doesn’t have any allergies.” You take a deep breath. “Right, so, my name is Y/F/N Y/L/N, feel free to call me Y/N, or professor, or whatever you feel comfortable with. Just know that I am not a doctor, so you don’t need to address me as such.” The students hum their response. “As you may or may not be able to tell, I’m pregnant.” You turn to the side and cup your lower stomach. “Thank you, yes, very exciting. I’m due at the end of May, and if all goes according to plan you shouldn’t need a substitute. This is my first time physically teaching in person, but I have taught before. I’m very excited to be here. Oh! I will say, my husband owns Styles Photography not too far from here, so if you ever need a good picture taken, or if you’re looking for an internship, don’t hesitate to ask me. And before you ask, no, I did not take his last name.” You look at their droopy eyes. “Okay, before we get into the syllabus and class expectations, I want us all to do an ice breaker.” You hear a few groans. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to say your name or where you’re from, I already have all that info. I want you to turn to the person next to you, take out your phones, and show them your most recently liked tik tok.” They all look at you. “We all have tik tok right?” They all say yes. “Okay then, have at it.”

You lean back against the desk as you hear people laughing and giggling.

“Anyone have the same one liked?” A couple students raise their hands. “Too funny. Okay, okay, let’s settle back down. See, isn’t that a better way of getting to know someone?” You go over to the computer and pull up your syllabus. “I want these classes to be real open discussion. As long as you’re not talking over someone, don’t even worry about raising your hand.”

You give the same shpeal in each class all week. By the time Friday rolled around, you were drained to say the least, but you were happy. You felt accomplished. You knew things might get more difficult as you started assigning projects and such, and getting bigger, but you tried not to think too far ahead.

You loved having students visit during your office hours, some of them really took a liking to you. Harry would bring Buster by when you could take your lunch breaks. You were a lot closer to him now which he liked.

“Professor Y/L/N?” A student knocks on the door and gasps when she sees Harry. All of your students knew what he looked like by now because they begged to see pictures. “Sorry, I’m interrupting your lunch.”

“It’s okay, Molly. This is my husband, Harry.” He smiles and shakes her hand. “What’s up?”

“I was just wondering if you could look over something quick for me? I selected some music for the background in my video, and I just wanted to know your thoughts.”

“Sure!”

“I can step out if yeh want?”

“It’s okay Mr. Styles, six ears are better than four.” The girl smiles and he nods.

Harry watches as you explain things to your student. How understanding you are, and how you give her a few tips. She thanks you before leaving.

“That was pretty cool. Wish I had a teacher like you back in the day.”

“Oh, stop.” You smile. “I’m really having a lot of fun with them.”

“Good, I’m glad. So…we have a doctor’s appointment on Friday.”

“That we do.”

“We’ve been holdin’ off on something…”

“You wanna know the sex of the baby, don’t you?”

“I do, I really do. I know it doesn’t really matter because it could decide it wants to be the complete opposite, and I know we’ve painted the nursery grey and yellow, but I mostly wanna know so we can start calling it its name, instead of it or Baby Styles.”

“Aw, but I like Baby Styles.” You pout and he leans in to kiss you. “I see what you’re saying though. Okay, I suppose at our next appointment we could finally let Dr. Johnson tell us.”

“Consider it another birthday present.”

“Harry.” You sigh. “Your birthday was two weeks ago.”

“I know…but you made it such a good birthday.”

“Please.” You whisper as your cheeks heat up. “I can’t discuss that here. This is one office that will stay pure.”

//

Dr. Johnson was giving you your ultrasound, making sure everything was good. The baby’s heart beat was excellent, and everything was the way it should be.

“Does its head look large to you? Harry has a pretty big head.” You smirk and he nudges your shoulder.

“We may have a larger head, sure.” She laughs. “So, Harry mentioned to the nurse that you’d like to know what you’re having. Are we sure? A couple of weeks ago it didn’t seem like you were ready to know.”

“We talked about it and we’d like to know.” You tell her.

“Alright…” She moves the ultrasound over your stomach so you can really see the baby’s side better. “You two are having…a boy!”

You both gasp and tear up. You look up at Harry and he leans down to kiss you.

“We would’ve been happy with either, but I was hoping for a boy.” You say. “I kind of had a feeling since he’s sitting so low.”

Dr. Johnson cleans up your stomach and prints you some new sonograms. You couldn’t help but stay glossy eyed as you get down to the car. Harry takes your hand and kisses it.

“Harry…”

“Yes, my love?”

“We’re having a Jack Edward.”

“We’re havin’ a Jack Edward.” He leans in to kiss your teary face. “Can we FaceTime my mum when we get home?”

“Of course. We can tell everyone.”

//

Your mother threw you and Erica a conjoined “Mommy Shower”. Her husband’s family wanted to do something traditional for her. So of course they broke the rules and bought things for her soon to be baby, which you found out was going to be a girl. You were happy to have her to go through this with.  It made you a lot closer. You could call her and compare weird cravings.

You were having fun munching on food, and talking with your friends. You and Erica didn’t really want to play any of the baby shower games. The decorations were really nice that were put up, though. Eventually came time for you to open gifts. Harry sat on one side of you while Mike sat on Erica’s other side so you two could sit in the middle.

You each opened up your gifts, and thanked everyone for coming. You talked with Sarah about her wedding planning. Her and Niall would be getting married at a Temple in Milton, and the reception would be at a nearby hotel. Well, the ceremony would be outside of a Temple, but either way, more religious than your ceremony.

Isaac and Seth would be going to the courthouse at the end of March, and having a party at their apartment for close friends and family. Rachel and Mariah had recently got engaged as well. Everything was falling into place for all your friends, and you couldn’t be happier for them. You were happy that even though you were all sort of growing up and moving on with your lives that you still made time for each other. You felt like you had this whole other family with them, and they felt the same way.

//

It was your one year wedding anniversary, and you were very pregnant. Harry wanted to take you to the Cape for the weekend, to the inn you got married at.

“Are you excited for your weekend away, Professor?” One of your students asks. They loved when they could get you going on a tangent on a Friday. You were too tired to care at this point.

“I’m very excited.”

“What’s being married like? I can’t even imagine being with one person.” Another student says.

“That’s because you’re in college.” You chuckle. “Being married is really nice, actually. To be honest, it’s not that much different from being just in a normal relationship, but there’s a whole other level of trust and understanding.”

“How did you and Harry meet?”

“Have I never told this story to this section of class?” The class all says no. “I don’t believe you, but I’m too pregnant to care, and it’s Friday.” You sit on the edge of the desk. “We met on a blind date. Our friend Niall set us up. We went to a dinner. I was twenty-four at the time.” You smile.

“And you two just hit it off?”

“Mhm, it was like we went on that one date, and we just kept seeing each other like every weekend. I think it was like three weeks in when he asked me to be his girlfriend.” The class gasps. “I know! And then we moved in together after like five months.”

“Ohhh, he really liked you huh?”

“Very much, and I guess I liked him too.” You giggle.

“Is it weird that next month you’re going to be a mom?”

“Well, I’ve been a mom to my dog, Buster, you guys know that. But…it’s not that it’s weird, it’s more like nervous and excited. Everything’s going to change.”

“Ahem.” You look over and see Harry leaning against the door frame, smiling, with a bouquet of flowers. The class ooo’s. They knew Harry well by now.

“You’re early.” You smile.

“Only by five minutes. It’s Friday, think yeh could dismiss ‘em early?”

“What do you say class? We did some good work this week, yeah? Go on, enjoy your weekends.”

“You too!” A few of them say.

“I like freshmen.” You tell Harry as he hands you your flowers. “Thank you, these are lovely.” You kiss him quick.

“Bags and Buster are in the car, you ready?”

“Mhm, just need to pee quick. Long drive.”

You waddle down the hall to the bathroom, and Harry waits for you. He goes down the elevator with you and helps you with your things in your office. You liked that the two of you took these sentimental trips. It was the perfect way to celebrate an entire year of marriage. It would also probably be one of your last weekends away as you him, and Buster before Jack comes.

“So, I was thinking we could have dinner in the restaurant tonight, and just relax in the hotel room. Then tomorrow if you felt up to it we could go for a walk on the beach in the morning, and then go to the spa in the afternoon. Get pedicures and all that.”

“Sounds wonderful, baby.” You take his hand and kiss it. “Thanks for planning this. It’s the perfect getaway.”

Harry checks you in while you use the bathroom in the lobby. You get Buster up to the room and give him a biscuit before changing into some dinner clothes.

“Do you think I’ll lose all this baby weight?” You say as you look at yourself in the mirror.

“Hope not.” He pinches your bum and wraps his arms around you from behind. “Kinda like havin’ a little more to hold onto.” He kisses your cheek.

“Harry, stop. I’m all…plump.”

“It looks good on yeh, babe, trust me.” He gives your bum another squeeze and lets you go. “Ready to eat?”

“Yeah, I’m starved. Be a good boy Buster, mummy and daddy’ll leave the TV on for you. We’ll have to take him for a good walk tomorrow.”

“Agreed.”

You two are seated at a table. You remember when you had brunch with everyone the day after the wedding. There was space to dance near the bar, other couples having a good time. When you’re done eating, Harry brings you over to the dance floor and pulls you close. The music was slow and nice.

“My bump’s in the way.” You look down at your stomach and back up at Harry.

“Not at all.” He has you lean your head on his chest, and he dances with you. “See, isn’t this nice?”

“Very.” You nuzzle into him closer. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

After a few songs you both decide it’s time to go upstairs, you had been on your feet all day. You both greet a sleepy Buster and start your nightly routines. You rub some cocoa butter on your belly and get onto the bed. Harry’s routine now involved getting between your legs and talking to Jack. He’d tell him about your days and what he was looking forward to once he was born. He did this every night because sometimes Jack would kick, and Harry loved feeling his kicks. He’d give your belly a ton of kisses and then he’d give you a ton of kisses.

The next morning you put on some leggings and a three-quarter zip fleece, and put your hair up in a cute, messy bun. Harry puts Buster’s leash on and you two head out and down towards the beach. It was a nice spring day out, but you were happy you had your fleece since it was still a bit chilly.

Going for a long walk was good, according to your doctor. Not to mention Harry loved seeing your ass in your leggings. The three of you stop so Harry can take a selfie. Someone sees the three of you and offers to take a photo.

“When we get back tomorrow…” He says as you make your way back to the inn to go to the spa. “I have some things set up for you.”

“Like what?”

“You’ll see.” He grins. “We haven’t done a maternity shoot yet.”

“Oh!” You beam at him. “And you already set it up?”

“Mhm, I didn’t wanna waste any time when we got home.”

“I’m really excited. You’ll be in them too, right?”

“Um, usually the dad isn’t…do you want me to be?”

“Yeah! Definitely.”

He kisses your temple and you head inside. Buster gets a little luxurious experience at the groomer the inn has while you two get pedicures. You nearly pass out in the chair while getting your feet massaged. Harry kept his hand in yours the whole time.

You both decide to order room service for dinner and a little lemon cake for dessert. You take a relaxing bath with him in the Jacuzzi-tub. Once you’re all dry he gets you on the bed. He has you sit in his lap where he knew you’d be most comfortable. He gets his lips on yours and kisses you softly. You lace your hands through his damp curls. He rubs his fingers along your slit before pressing inside you. You groan against his neck as he curls his fingers up. He retracts them and sucks them into his mouth.

“Jesus.” You moan as you line his throbbing tip up with you. You sink down on it and groan. “Babe, what if, what if I’m never this tight again.”

“What?!” His eyes snap to yours. “What would even make you say that right now?”

“I don’t know! I mean, I’m gonna push this kid out of me, and his head is gonna rip me open, and-“

“Baby, baby…” He cups your cheeks. “Listen to me, none of that matters. I don’t care about that.”

“But you’re always saying you love how tight I am, and-“

“I know, and it’s true, it feels really good, but it would feel good with you no matter what because I love you. As long as it’s you, it feels good, okay? Do you believe me? Please, don’t worry about something like that.”

“Okay.”

“You believe me, don’t you?”

“Yes, I believe you.”

“Good.”

He kisses you and your tongues mold together. He grips your ass and helps you move on him. You were at a point where you didn’t have much strength on your own, but this was the only position that worked for you these days. His teeth sink into the crook of your neck and he sucks on you.

“Harry.” You groan.

“I love you so much, Y/N.” He says into your ear as thrusts up into you. “You’re giving me everything I ever wanted and more.” Your nails rakes down his chest and around to his back, sinking in.

“I love you too, thank you for making a mom.” You start tearing up as he fucks up into you faster.

“Jesus, fuck.”  He grunts. “You’re gonna be the best mum.” He makes eye contact with you and smirks. “The fuckin’ sexiest mum on the block.”

He snakes a hand between the two of you to rub your clit as fast as he can. You cling to him harder, your body laced with sweat. He had you moaning pretty loud until you let out a breathless gasp as you came.

“Fill me up babe, need to feel it, please.”

“God, I love it when you beg me like that, shit.” He groans and releases inside you. He kisses you before lifting you off of him.

He gets up and grabs a towel to clean you up. Once you’re both all set, you snuggle up and fall asleep.

//

“Oh wow!” You exclaim when you get into your apartment the next day.

“Happy anniversary, dalin’.” He kisses your cheek.

“This set up looks beautiful! Wait, I have something for you.”

“Y/N.” He sighs. “We said no real gifts.”

“I know, but I couldn’t help myself.” You pout. “I got you a new chain for your cross.” You hand him a box out of your purse. He opens it and smiles.

“It’s beautiful, thank you very much.”

He gives you a quick kiss and changes the chains out quick.

“Okay, go do your hair how you like, and get naked while I set the cameras up, yeah?”

You go into the bathroom and blow out your hair. You put some makeup on as well, and come out in your robe. Harry had his white sheet hung up in the living area, and a fan to blow your hair back.

“Harry…?”

“Yes?”

“Um…my…well…could you help me shave? I don’t want my bush in the pictures. It’s one thing with just you and me, but when I look back on these, and I can’t reach, and-“

“Go stand in the tub, I’ll come in in a second.” He smiles. Harry comes in a few minutes later.

“I’m sorry, this is so embarrassing.”

“It’s not, really.” He shrugs. “You’d do the same for me if I couldn’t reach my balls.” You burst out laughing.

He gets you all shaved after ten somewhat awkward minutes, but you’re grateful to feel fresh and clean.

“Thank you so much, I’m sorry.”

“Please, stop apologizing. I’d do anything for you.” He kisses you. “Now come on, it’s all set up.”

You come back out. He gets the fan going to blow your hair back. He tells you what positions to stand in. He gets some beautiful ones of you from the side. Really holding your bump.

“Don’t people do this wearing clothes too?”

“Oh, sure, but we have plenty of pictures of us like that, don’t we?”

“I suppose that’s true. Take your shirt off now, I want you in the pictures too, remember?”

Harry gets the camera set up on the tripod, and takes his shirt off. He gets on one knee and kisses your belly in one. He stands back up and takes your hands in his. You both lean in to kiss each other. He gets behind you in one, and you both make heart shapes with your hands over your stomach.

“I’ll zoom in on that one, it’ll look really nice for an album cover.” He says. “Look at how beautiful you are.” You put your robe back on and look at his camera.

“Thank you so much, I’m happy we’ll have these memories.”

“And then once Jack’s born, Mariah said she’d do a newborn shoot for us.

“She’s the best, the absolute best.”

//

You were able to make it through the end of the semester without having the baby in your classroom. You felt grateful that you’d be teaching online sections of courses in the fall so you could stay home with Jack a little longer. Erica had her littler girl, and you waddled into the hospital to say congratulations. She was a beautiful baby, and you were excited that Jack would have a cousin so close in age, other than Michael, to grow up with.

The weather was getting warmer and you were getting more uncomfortable after each day passed. Harry did his best to keep you calm, but you were at a point where everything annoyed you. He had you walking, eating spicy food, and you two were definitely still fucking, but nothing was helping you induce.

You had finally fallen asleep when you felt something wet underneath you. You pull the blankets back and see a huge wet spot. Your eyes grow wide.

“Harry!”

“What?!” He comes bursting through the door, he had stayed up to read in the living room so you could get some sleep.

“I think my water broke!” You beam.

“Oh my god, it’s happening!” He helps you out of the bed and gets you into the sweats you had picked out to go to the hospital in.

“Call my mom, I want her with us, okay? I need her.”

“Okay, once we’re in the car alright?” He smiles. “I need to text Rachel to come by to be with Buster.”

“Alright.”

He gets you into the car, and he calls your mom letting her know you were on your way to Boston Hospital. Luckily, Dr. Johnson was on call for you, and you were told she was on her way. A nurse gets you into a room, and gets you hooked up to whatever you needed to be hooked up to.

“Okay, so you’re not looking for a natural birth, correct?”

“Nope, give me all the drugs.” You laugh.

“We’ll do our best.” She smiles.

Eventually your mom shows up giving you lots of hugs and kisses.

“My little girl, my baby about to have a baby.” She smooths your forehead. “How are you doing, Harry?”

“M’alright, just wish I could take all the pain away. Her contractions have hurt really bad.”

“That’ll happen.” Your mom chuckles. “I’ll go get you some coffee.” She smiles and leaves.

“I’m glad she’s here.” You say to him.

“Me too. Nice to have family here for this.”

“Do me a favor, if the doctor asks you if you want to look while he’s coming out, say no. I do not want you looking. You’ll never get that image out of your mind.”

“Alright, I promise.” Your mom comes back shortly with the coffee.

“Mum, you’ll have to call the cantor for me so we can get Jack circumcised.”

“Of course, I’ll call first thing in the morning. I know he’s been waiting for you to call. And I’m going to have your brother and dad get your crib and everything over to your apartment first thing in the morning as well.”

“Oh, thanks mum.” You feel the sharp pains return to your stomach. “Harry!” You gasp. He rushes to your side to hold your hand.

“Remember to breathe, like in the classes.” He strokes your cheek as you squeeze his hand.

//

After twelve hours of labor, it was finally time to push. Harry was on one side you and your mom on the other. You had been given the epidural, but everything just felt cramped and uncomfortable. You were screaming and cursing as you pushed.

“You’re almost there, Y/N.” Dr. Johnson encourages you.

Harry thought you were going to break his hand off, and honestly, he felt like he deserved it watching you go through all this. Luckily, you weren’t cursing at him or screaming at him that you’ll never do this again, because honestly, you would. Despite how sick you felt in the first trimester, your pregnancy was relatively easy. You’d turn your love with Harry into another baby in a heartbeat, but he didn’t need to know that right now.

“I can see his head! Give me another good push, Y/N!”

You do ask the doctor says, and you nearly feel like you’re going to faint as she pulls Jack out of you. You weren’t sure, but you had to have torn open, there’s no way you didn’t. You hear the baby cry and a wave of relief sweeps over you. They clean him quick before resting him on you for skin on skin. Harry lets the doctor cut the cord, too afraid he’d mess something up. There were tears in your eyes and Harry’s as well. They let Harry hold Jack skin to skin as well before taking him off to weigh him and clean him up further.

“Do we have a name?” One of the nurses asks.

“Jack Edward Styles.” Harry says. You were too exhausted to speak. He leans in and gives you a kiss on the forehead. Your mother was also at a loss for words.

“He’s beautiful, honey, you did great.”

“Okay, Y/N, we just need to take care of a few things down here, I need to stitch you up.” Dr. Johnson says as she cleans up what she can.

“Oh god.” You groan and you start sobbing.

“Nothing to worry about, happens all the time. His head was a little larger like we thought. Long body too.” You look up at Harry and glare as she stitches you up.

“You and your big head.” You seethe.

“M’sorry, baby, really I am.” He can’t help but smile.

“Alright, all done. The nurses will help you the rest of the way.”

One of them shows you the mesh underwear you’ll be wearing and you grimace. You never felt less attractive in your life. After a little while you’re wheeled into your hospital room where you can relax. Your mom stepped out to go home and change. She said she’d come back during visiting hours. She also wanted to give you and Harry some time to relax. He laid on the bed with you and you rested your head on his chest as you finally slept. You were so fucking tired. It was like your entire body had been tensed up for days and now you could relax.

“Mr. and Mrs. Styles?” A nurse coos as she comes in with Jack. Harry sits up and beams at the baby. “Someone’s hungry, does mommy wanna try to feed?”

“I’ll give it a go.” You say as you try to sit up a little. Harry adjusts your pillows for you. “Ten fingers, ten toes?” You ask the nurse.

“Yes.” She chuckles as she hands him to you. “Perfectly healthy. Almost nine pounds.”

“Good god, you came outta me?” You coo to your new bundle of joy. Harry helps you move the hospital gown out of the way.

“He may not latch on right away, just give him a minute to get acquainted.” The nurse explains.

“I brought a pump with me in case he has trouble. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel about breast feeding.” You explain and she nods. “Oh! Look at him go, Harry.” Jack latches on so he can feed.

“Does it hurt, love?”

“Not really, just sort of feels weird. It can tend to hurt, right?” You ask the nurse.

“Yeah, it can. You’ll want to pump so you don’t get sore and tender. For now you’ll be fine since we’ll be bringing him in for his feedings. I’ll leave him with the two of you for a while and come back in an hour or so.” You both thank her before she leaves.

“He’s beautiful, Harry. Can you believe we made him?”

“Absolutely gorgeous. I took your picture when they first put him on you, but I could take a better one now.”

“Please do, I’m all cleaned up now.” He takes his phone out and takes your picture. “What’s your eye color, Jack?” He looks up at you slightly. “Oh! Green, duh.” You laugh.

“Be a bit weird if he didn’t since both of ours are green.”

“My dad’s eyes are brown and my mom’s are green, but my brother ended up with blue eyes. Both of my sisters have brown eyes, and I have green, so literally anything could have happened. I hope he has your curls.”

“Looks like he’ll have your nose, which is nice. Your nose is way cuter than mine, s’like a little button.”

“Oh stop it, I do not have a button nose. His ears look bigger like mine.”

“Seems like he’ll be a good mix of us, huh?”

“We’ll find out once he grows in a bit. I think he’s done.” You hold him up against your shoulder so you can gently burp him, and then you hand him to Harry. “So natural.” You tell him as you smile at your boys.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“For what?”

“Makin’ me a real Daddy. I know we have Buster and all, but this…” You lean in and kiss Jack’s head.

“Mm, he smells so good, smell his head.” You giggle. “He’s got that new baby smell.” Harry dips his head slightly and he smiles as he smells his child.

“He does smell good.” He chuckles.

A nurse comes in for you a little while later.

“Time to go to the bathroom, Y/N.” She sighs.

“No, please don’t make me.” You whine. “It’s going to hurt.”

“I know, but we need to have you try. I’ll be right in there with you.”

“Oh, wonderful.” You roll your eyes.

“Go on, honey, I’m sure you need to go with all the fluids you’ve been given.”

The nurse helps you onto your feet and you cringe as you take a step. You look back at Harry and he gives you an encouraging smile. It broke his heart to see you like this. He knew in a few months you’d be perfectly fine, but right now he knew you were in a ton of pain, and he hated it. The nurse helps you use the toilet, and you swore at her up and down, then you apologized of course. She helps you back in the bed afterwards.

“Okay…so the next time I come to help you use the bathroom, you’re going to hate me even more.”

“Why?” You ask, taking Jack back from Harry.

“You need to try to have a BM.” Your eyes widen. You had read up on this, and you weren’t looking forward to it. “We need to make sure you stitches don’t rip open and get cleaned properly. I’ll be back in a couple of hours, okay?”

“Please, take your time.” You tell her as she leaves. “That’s going to suck.”

Nurses continued to come in and out to check on you and Jack. They took him away for a while to let you and Harry rest. Harry had let everyone know to just come to visiting hours tomorrow. You needed more time to recover, and you really didn’t want to see everyone just yet. Your BM was painful to say the least, but you got through it.

“It’ll get easier, Y/N.” The nurse says. As you lay down in the bed she braces you for something much more painful. “You may want to hold your husband’s hand for this. I have to give your stomach a massage, and it’s going to hurt.”

“Wonderful.” You take a breath. “Ow! What the fuck?!” You squeeze Harry’s hand.

“I’m so sorry, I’m checking to make sure there’s no internal bleeding or air pockets.”

“This is worse than giving birth, I swear to god.” You grit your teeth.

“Okay, all done.” She smiles. “Take some time to rest. We’ll bring the baby in for another feeding soon.”

“Alright? Want some ice chips?”

“No, because then I’ll need to pee again.” You pout.

“Y/N.” He sighs and hands you the cup of ice chips.

“It burns, Harry. It’s terrible.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’ll get better soon, this is the hardest part.” He strokes your cheek. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You pucker your lips and kiss him.

//

The next day people trickle in during the different visiting hours. Your family came first and took turns holding the baby. Your friends came in the afternoon, many of them shedding tears. It was wonderful to have so many people around.

Harry had made sure to take time off from work to be home with you. Not necessarily a paternity leave, though. He told you he’d take two weeks off form going to the studio, and then he’d do half days or every other day from there. He promised he wouldn’t work weekends as well. You knew he had to work to make the money you both needed. You had a good paycheck from the school, but you weren’t working this summer, so that extra cash was nonexistent.

You were grateful your dad and brother were able to set up the nursery the rest of the way for you. Everything was in its place. You and Harry agreed Anne and Gemma, and Nannie, could fly in, in a month or so to come meet Jack. You just needed some time to adjust and heal before you started having a ton of visitors.

You and Harry couldn’t help but laugh when he helped you set up the breast pump. It was extremely awkward, but you couldn’t figure out how to do it yourself. You also needed his help going to the bathroom at various points, also extremely awkward and embarrassing, but that was marriage. You were grateful for him.

Buster took a liking to Jack right away. You knew they’d be great buddies. You and Harry barely got any sleep the first couple weeks, which was to be expected. You constantly needed to feed Jack. He was a big boy, and he was hungry.

“Why are you crying?” Harry sighs as he comes into the nursery to see what’s going on.

“Because.” You sniffle. “Because what if my breast milk doesn’t have enough stuff in it and that’s why he’s so hungry? I know nothing’s wrong with formula, but like, I’m his mother, and I can’t even give him what he needs.” You sob.

“Okay, okay.” Harry takes Jack and the bottle from you to continue feeding him. You wipe your tears. It was hard to be sad whenever you’d see Harry effortlessly hold your child. “You are giving him what he needs. He’s just…large.” He chuckles. “He’s hungry a little more. I was talkin’ to Lou, and he said Freddie was the same way. Constantly hungry, and Bri used breastmilk. You’re makin’ plenty of it. If you were havin’ trouble producing, I’d say yeah let’s switch to formula, but I think we’re fine.”

“What am I gonna do when you go back to work.” You tear up again.

“Your mum’s comin’ to be with you, remember? She’ll be here when I can’t be. Believe me, I’d rather be here with you.”

“I know, I don’t mean to make you feel bad. You just always know how to calm me down.”

“Luckily your mum’s done this four times, so she’ll know what to do too.” He smiles. He turns Jack over to burp him. “Here, wanna rock him to sleep? I’m gonna take Buster out quick.”

“Okay.” He hands him back to you. You rock him slowly and set him down in his crib. “Mummy loves you very much, Jack.” You coo as you leave the room.

You go out to the living room to sit on the couch. Buster comes trotting in and sits at your feet. You pat the top of his head, and Harry comes to sit next to you. He puts an arm around you and pulls you in close.

“Love you so much.” He kisses your hairline.

“I love you too.”

//

You were never so thankful to have friends who didn’t work in the summer in your life. Your mom was a big help, but she was also trying to help out Erica. Sarah and Rachel came over often to hang out and make sure you weren’t bored to shit while Jack napped. They’d go out for walks with you while he was strapped to your chest.

“You look great, Y/N.” Sarah says.

“Seriously, Y/N, it’s been what? A month? Barely even have a tummy anymore.” Rachel says.

“Oh stop it.” You shake your head at them as you walk down the street. “I’ve just simply deflated. Dr. Johnson said I could start doing more cardio next month, do some strength training too, but for now she just wants me walking.”

“Having that little guy strapped to you has to be some kind of strength training.” Sarah smirks.

“You have no idea! He looks tiny, but he gets heavy after a while.”

“When do you think you guys will do your newborn shoot?”

“Probably next month once I feel a little more comfortable being photographed. Oh! You guys should see the album we put together from the maternity shoot, the pictures came out so nice. I had a couple framed and put into Jack’s room.”

“Definitely! How’s Harry been with going back to work?” Rachel says.

“He feels guilty, and like he’s missing out on things. I’ve brought Jack to the studio a couple of times, but I think it makes it worse for him. That’s why Buster’s been going to work with him. He’s such a good dad, not that I ever doubted he would be. It’s never a contest, like he’s just always jumping into help.”

“That’s what he’s supposed to do. He’s a dad, not a babysitter.” Sarah points out.

“Exactly.”

“Do you feel like you’ve had any post-partum stuff?” Rachel asks.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough? Like when I feed him and he gets hungry again almost immediately after, I feel like I’m not giving him what he needs. But Harry seems to think he’s just genuinely hungry. I’m excited for Anne and Gemma to come visit soon, and I think Nannie’s gonna come up in August.”

“That’s great! It must be difficult knowing you have a grandchild so far away.”

“Since Anne’s retired, Harry was saying she might rent a small studio and stay here for a while longer this summer to be with Jack, and to help us out a bit. I’m all for it, she’s the best, and it would take some pressure offer my mom. I know she’s trying to balance out time with Jack and Melissa.”

“Oh yeah, how’s she doing?”

“Good! Erica’s kind of dealing with the same things as I am. Although, she went right to formula instead of breastfeeding.” You shrug.

“Do you think you’ll ever put your piercings back in?”

“The second my stomach goes back to normal, that’s going back in for sure, but my nipples I’m not so sure about. If I get pregnant again I’ll just need to take them out, it was really annoying. I’m fine with just my nose for now.”

You were grateful your friends didn’t mind talking about this stuff, and even more grateful they were checking in on your mental state. You were the luckiest person in the world.

[apenapaperandadoofus]

14 angst Jaehee

Damn y'all ANGSTY today lmao I gasped so loud when I saw three angst requests suddenly appear and then I laughed evilly because I love writing angst ✌️

This time it wasn't exactly a GN reader (sorry BUT it'll make sense later) and I wanted to make the MC's and Jaehee's relationship up to the reader, bc I know some people love Jaehee as a friend and some as something more, so Jaehee's feelings for the reader are up to interpretation!)

Also you didn't specify if you wanted a happy ending or not, so I'll take it into my own hands (now you won't know if the fic, will end up fluffy or angsty muahahahaha)

Health (Jaehee angst)

The work seemed to pile up more and more. Jaehee sighed as she took a sip from her eight cup of coffee and rubbed her temples.

She was the one that had volunteered to do the job, mostly as a present for you and Jumin. Well, who was she kidding, it was all for you.

You had appeared in Jaehee's life and changed it all for the better. She loved you so much, you were one of her closest friends. She loved spending time with you, and talking to you, and being with you in general.

Eventually though, she knew it had to end. You ended up meeting Jumin, the two of you got married and now, you were due to give birth in a few days. So she decided to let Jumin take the time off to spend it by your side. She knew it was important for you to have him beside you the whole time.

Still, she didn't expect so much work. She now had her old tasks, plus Jumin's on the side. He did volunteer to still work, but Jaehee thought of you and decided that it was better if the last day's of pregnancy the two of you spent it together.

She had now been up for 32 hours, working non stop.

At one point Zen called her, mostly because he needed her to take a break. Jaehee tried her best to keep the conversations short, but Zen wouldn't let her, and then he'd offer to go to her house and help her, and that just made her feel worse. She wanted to do this by herself, for you.

This time though, she heard Zen's panicked yet excited voice scream "THE BABY IS COMING! OR WELL, IS ABOUT TO COME THEY JUST LEFT TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE SO EXCITED FOR THAT JERK BUT HOLY SHIT!!!"

Jaehee let out a tired laugh, she was really sleepy but she couldn't help and smile. She was so excited, for the two of you, and Zen's phonecall helped her gain her energy back. She happily got back to work, humming her favorite songs from Zen's musicals. She couldn't wait to meet the baby, to see them grow up! She wanted to show them all of Zen's musicals, or at least the ones they were allowed to watch, and she felt excited that if the baby was going to be a girl (the doctor said it was a boy, but you never knew!) , then the three of you could always hang out and drink coffee, go shopping (especially for baby clothes!) And even more things. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

.....

It had now been a whole 47 hours with Jaehee working, and you still in the hospital.

The baby hadn't been born yet, and everyone was becoming a bit more anxious.

Finally though, Jaehee finished all her work and she sighed, leaning back on her chair. She saw dark spots in the corner of her eyes, and she felt them close every now and then. As she was finally going to sleep, a loud ringtone was heard, coming from the table. It was a call from Zen.

Apparently the baby was about to born, and Jumin and you had wanted everyone to be there to be the first ones to hold the baby.

Jaehee quickly grabbed her bags and left the apartment, the hospital only being a few blocks away. As she walked she suddenly felt her vision grow dark and her legs wobble, only to wake up to be barely able to dodge a car that was driving by.

She felt her breath hitch but kept going. She had to see the baby no matter what. The sun was shining brightly in her eyes, and she felt dizzy and lightheaded.

She doesn't exactly understand what happened, but at one point, suddenly, everything went dark.

......

....

...

"Congrats you two! I'm so happy to be an uncle now!" Saeyoung cooed while he held your baby in his hands, and you let out a tired laugh.

"Hey Saeyoung!! You've held the baby for too long let me hold 'em now!" Yoosung grunted from beside Zen, who was rolling his eyes, and made his way to Saeyoung, trying to hold the baby. Before he could do anything though, Jimin grabbed his child from both their hands, delicately as if he was holding a porcelain doll, and he glared at his friends. "Enough from the two of you, you're going to drop the baby and I will not hesitate to call in the security guards."

You laughed as you laid on the bed, and Jumin walked over to you and handed you your kid. "It's fine....I don't really think they'd be able to harm the baby anyway."

"Talking about that, haven't you decided on a name yet? You can't just keep calling the baby...well...the baby." Zen said from the corner of the room.

You shrugged. "Well we did have a name planned, since the doctor told us we were going to have a boy....but then all of a sudden when they get the baby they told us that it's actually a girl! We weren't prepared at all, so for now we're just....uhm...calling her the baby."

"But you can't let your child unnamed like that! Imagine how sad she'd be if she knew that her parents never gave her a name, until uhm...later!" Yoosung said.

"Yeah you're right, although I don't want to take suggestions from any of you." You smirked as the boys let out shocked gasps.

"I thought calling her Windows 10 wasn't that bad! It's a beautiful name and you can call her Win, or Dows, or Ten or-"

"Saeyoung, that's why we're not letting you name her, you're all horrible at naming stuff...well exc pt Jaehee, she actually helped me pick out the boy name we were going to use!" You smiled at the memory as you glaced down at your little girl.

"Yeah about that, Zen, didn't you say you had called her before? Where exactly is she?" Yoosung asked, and Zen looked nevously at his phone.

"I don't really know. She should be here by now, I did call her. Maybe she's late because she's too tried from all the work she was left to do." He glared at Jumin, who sighed and took out his cellphone, quickly tapping the keys while speaking in a cold manner towards Zen.

"She was the one who kindly volunteered, and I'm really grateful to her for it. Don't think her efforts won't go rewarded, after this I'm going to let her take three weeks off, my other assistants can handle everything else."

Then he out his phone away. "I've now asked for Driver Kim to go and check if she's still in the house to pick her up. She should be here soon, and we might as well let her get a few check ups while she's here. I'm sure she's been really pressured with the amount of work...." He looked at the ground a bit guiltily but you grabbed his hand and squeezed it, reassuring him that it wasn't his fault and that he was a good boss and he smiled at you.

.....

"Excuse me?" Jumin said, his face going white. Everyone in the room, except you who were sleeping on the bed, looked up at Jumin in alarm.

"Are you sure?....I.....oh god....alright. Thank you....driver Kim. You can now go home."

"What happened?" Yoosung asked as soon as Jimin got off the phone. Zen was about to aggressively ask again, but stopped when he saw that Jimin looked as if he was going to cry.

He led them out of the room to speak to them. When they came back they were all white, and looked as if they had been crying,but when you woke up they tried to act bright and cheerful, not wanting to worry you. Although eventjally, you were going to find out.

......

...

....

6 years later.....

You grabbed your daughter's hand and walked through the familiar halls, greeting the staff as you passed by.

You made it to the familiar room and placed some flowers on the vase you had bought in the room a few years ago. Then you grabbed a chair and grabbed your friend's hand.

"Hey Jaehee....it's me..."

Silence. You kept going though, your daughter curiously looking at the woman who was on the bed, a bunch of tubes in her arms.

"It's been a while. Saeyoung and Saeran now own a shop, their inauguration was yesterday. You would loved it....Yoosung also got promoted at work! Jimin said if he keeps it up he'll be climbing the corporate ladder in no time. As for Zen, he's now acting on a new musical. The hunchback of notre dame. He's the soldier, and we're all extremely happy for him and he's given us tickets to see him when it first plays. I've got a ticket for you too....just in case....I've also....well....Jumin and I found out that we're pregnant! Again! We found out a few days ago, and everyone in the RFA is so excited." You rubbed your thumb over Jaehee's hand and you let out q shaky sigh. "I promise I'll come visit more often. I'll even let you be the first one to touch my stomach when the baby kicks... although I hope that by that time you might wake up....I have to go now but just know, that no matter what, we're all here for you. Especially me and Jumin. See you, and I....I love you Jaehee. Bye..."

You stood up and walked over to the door, turning to see your daughter looking at Jaehee with her eyes wide.

"Mum, is this who you and dad were talking 'bout earlier?" She asked and you smiled, nodding.

*Yes love. She was a wonderful woman, and I can't wait for her to wake up and meet you."

Your daughter smiled and skipped over to you, grabbing you hand. "She's very pretty mum! And she has the same name as me! When uncle Saeyoung talks about her I get really happy that we both have the same name. I want to be just like her when I grow up!"

You smiled at your daughter and pet her head. "And you will. You'll grow up to be a wonderful woman and I'm sure you'll make her proud. Now why don't we go and visit daddy? He wants to eat lunch with us today."

"Yes mum! Let's go!" Your daughter grabbed your hand and led you out of the hospital, and you glanced back at the hospital room were Jaehee was staying in.

You were sure she was going to wake up soon. She had to. And you couldn't wait to hug her again. But for now all you could do was wait....

[youarejesting]

Femme: 50 Finale

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, GDragon x Bigbang, Erik Nam, Hyuna x Dawn, Black Pink x Female oc, TXT x robot oc, Got7 x Female oc Rating: Mature themes mentioned but not really explored. Length: 2.8k Announcement: This is the last chapter. I may have cried writing this piece. Beta: @lpayne612​​

You saw him waiting by the car, eating a donut, and drinking a cold coffee, and you went up to the service counter, “Can I borrow your PA system to tell my husband that he is pregnant?” The man at the counter grinned and handed over the microphone, explaining how to use it.

“Park Jimin,” you said facing the forecourt - grinning watching him lookup, “I took a pregnancy test, we’re pregnant!” 

You saw him drop everything before falling to his knees and crying, covering his head with his hands. “I love you.”

He got up and ran inside dodging cars. People were clapping happily, and he grabbed you, kissing you fiercely, his fingers brushing against your neck, and hooking his thumb under your soft collar.

“We did it, princess!” He sniffed.

“We did!”

“Am I going to finally be a dad?’

“You are.”

“I dropped my coffee!” He laughed, his cheeks glistening.

“One coffee for the father to be,” a man smiled. “I remember when my wife said we were pregnant, it is such a good feeling, so this one is on me”

Driving home his hand was in yours, and he would occasionally bring your hand to his face and kiss your knuckles, whispering how much he loved you. You had explained to him you mistook implantation bleeding with a period because you were stressed and tightly strung with thoughts of letting him down.

He told you that he would never want you to stress and that there was nothing you could do that would ever let him down. “Just you breathing, and in my life, means the world to me.

Jimin came home and received a hug and kiss from all the children, a few crying saying they missed him and he cried back. “Where did you go?”

“Well, DaddyJii had to buy mummy a special drink so she could have a baby,” Jimin smiled at the children.

“Don’t be silly, Daddy Goo told us how mummy has babies in her belly,” Jae Eun said.

“Yeah, he says mummy eats a special fish and then the fish swims around in her belly and changes like a tadpole,” Jae Hwa smiled proudly.

“Yes, well the special drink has the fish in it.” You smiled at them, not ready to explain the birds and the bees just yet - wanting to preserve their innocence  for just a few more years.

“Does it tickle Ama?” Huimang asked, “The fishy in your belly?”

“Sometimes, but the fishy is too small to feel just yet. When the fish turns into a baby, you will be able to feel the baby move in my tummy.”

There was a big family celebration; you made a huge donation to the Femme rehabilitation organization and, honestly, had a really good pregnancy. The number one hashtag as you entered your ninth month was ‘#SugaTheMusicProducerAndBabyInducer’ which made said man pout and avoid you whenever he heard it in mock fear. 

He had written a few songs boasting that any pregnant woman listening to his album may go into labour at the sound of his voice. You went live with your family talking about things and what you all planned to do as a family. 

“We have shared our whole world with you and it has been so long. You, have seen our ups and downs, and we want to continue to show you everything until the end. Just recently, with my struggle with fertility, we realized we don’t want to hide all these natural things from the world.” You grimace at the camera, another cramp taking over. You were secretly timing them so as not to finish the livestream early. 

“We were lucky to fall pregnant, but not everybody gets that chance, so we are so thankful and are giving a donation to the specific fertility group we went through who was absolutely lovely.” You knew that the contractions were slowly getting closer together, but you would rather stay in the comfort of your own home and keep yourself busy with a livestream than going and sitting in a hospital room bored - and uncomfortable - waiting to go into active labour and dilate.

“Someone asked if we will have any more children?” Seokjin was designated to read the comments.

“No, we are already blessed with so many we won’t be greedy. Plus, I’m getting older and there are more chances of complications the older I get, so I do not wish to push the limits of my health. I want to be around for my family for as many years as I can.”

“Have you thought of any names?” Seokjin genuinely seemed interested by this question.

“Many.” You smiled, “We don’t know the gender of our baby, so we haven’t really settled on one - but a few.”

“Have you had any weird cravings?” Jungkook read some comments over the older man's shoulder, and they all began discussing your weird eating habits. 

“Yoongi, if you had to induce a baby what would you do? I am due today, and the baby doesn’t look like they’re coming any time soon.”

“Well, I would lean down and whisper, ‘alright little one, it’s time to get out or you can start paying rent,’” Yoongi laughed at your belly, rubbing it gently.

“No, I am determined to entice my own child out,” Jimin leaned down so he was cupping your belly, his lips almost brushing the fabric of your dress. “Come on now baby, daddy wants to meet you.”

You could laugh at the timing as your water broke, thanking the heavens you were shooting from the waist up. “Did…” Namjoon gasped in shock.

“Did you just pee?” Jungkook shouted

“No my water just broke.” You gripped your tummy, breathing through the pain while trying to stop the laughter.

You had all decided to take the audience with you. It was mostly the camera on the boys and a nervous looking Jimin who was doting on you in the ward. You were having a blast talking and laughing with the audience while Seokjin was texting Erik and Namjoon’s dad, trying to make sure the kids were all fine getting ready for bed.

You were taken up to the VIP labour ward and you were having a great time. Your audience was super supportive, and you said goodbye getting wheeled off to the birthing suite. This labour was the easiest - you were so experienced you knew all the cues, and your body relaxed understanding what you were supposed to do.

A little boy. He was tiny in Jimin’s hands and he kept saying thank you. “Thank you for giving me this opportunity, this miracle who I will cherish everyday, I love you both so much, I love you my princess” 

He held him in his arms as they wheeled you back to the private ward where you met the others. Jimin hadn’t stopped crying and Taehyung, Hoseok, and Yoongi engulfed him in a hug. The live stream was still going on with a million-person audience waiting to see the baby.

“It’s a boy,” Jimin said, “and we both agreed his name would be Byul.” 

You were happy and the boys grinned. You all looked up at the camera and waved, signing off - spending the time alone together. The nurse came in, “We have to check the baby's hearing and heart and take a full screen of his blood. All routine stuff.”

Jimin nodded, taking the baby in his arms and following the nurse. It wasn’t a long process, but when Jimin didn’t come back you started to get worried. You visibly began stressing the blankets. “What is taking so long?” your laugh was forced and there was little semblance of a joke.

“It’s okay, there are other babies. maybe they are waiting on another?”

Jimin stepped in and he was crying holding his son preciously in his hands, as if holding him too tightly could hurt the newborn. “Byul might be deaf, they will have to um, check him again soon.”

“What do you mean?”

“They said it could just be fluid in his ear, but they will check again in a few hours,” Jimin sniffed.

Upon the second third and fourth hearing test, it was almost clear that Byul was partially deaf. He could hear a little, but the doctor explained it would forever be super muffled. That didn’t mean he couldn’t recognize your voices, though. He still could just hear, and you were fine with that - any hearing was a blessing at that point.

You headed home, and Jimin took leave from work. He spent time caring for his son and even signed up for classes on sign language. Everyone went to the classes together and began learning, as it would be easier if you all learnt early.

Byul was not a typical happy baby spending most of his time crying - it was mostly due to the fact he scared easily. Being unable to hear when you were there, Byul would call for you and you would press your lips to his forehead and against his skin so he knew you were there. The vibrations running through his body. 

He loved when you would do this but especially enjoyed Taehyung’s deep rumbling voice, it made him giggle.

He learnt cues differently. Instead of mum and dad, you taught him to touch his cheek in certain ways for these words. He wasn’t a shy baby, but he still only made a few noises. He was quick to learn how to walk and run and play. 

Jeongsan was so good at sign language, he was quick to tell you what byul needed and took it upon himself to help his younger brother where he could. 

You were still learning, and you had a discussion with the boys about your channel and what you should do. It was a mutual agreement that you would make your final broadcast that evening before a hiatus - which you didn’t know when or if you would come back. 

It was a rainy afternoon, and Byul sat on your lap on the back porch, watching the rain and lighting and feeling the thunder shake the sky. 

He laid back in your arms, and you sang to him and signed in front of him to sing along. He tried his best, his voice sweet like his father’s, and you did the signs the whole song. 

His little gold hearing aids helped him out so much, but he sometimes preferred to not wear them, as he didn’t always like the feeling. 

“My son,” you signed with a big bright smile “I love you.”

“Mama love you,” he answered, repeating your gesture as big as he could and you laughed hugging him tightly.

You all had just posted your live stream as a family saying you were going on hiatus. You felt like you wanted to cry, walking towards the kitchen to make yourself a calming cup of tea. When Kyungju asked, “Ate you okay mum?”

Turning, you looked at your family all looking back at you, all your beautiful children smiling at you, and then there were your husbands. 

All looking beautiful. Seokjin still with a gentle smile, Yoongi looking impassive and yet now you could see the emotions in his eyes. Jungkook with the same bunny toothed smile, and thirteen years washed away like you were falling in love with them all over again. They stood in front of you just like they had that day, eyes bright and curious and you smiled. Speaking clearly in English while signing so every member of your family knew what you were saying. 

“I love you.”

Everything was good, until I completed everything ready to post. I attached the last header for the last time and I just sobbed. Saying goodbye to this story is the hardest thing, I have experienced to this day. It was one of my safe havens a world I created to escape all the bad and well it has reached its happy ending. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Ever your Jester.

Femme Media 50

[The End]

Tags: @obeythehemmings​ @delightfuldela​ @zxlla​ @dopefrancistheturd​ @h5naaa​ @topthis808​ @bubbletae7​ @narcissism-iskey​ @gqmf-bangtanmama​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @kthstrawberryshortcake​ @latina-nerd-deactivated20200611​ @domaindopemancom​ @rosita7703​ @knjkitten​ @notruercolors​​ @kpopnonous​​ @ladytaja @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​​ @bluehairedotakugem​​ @moments-of-melancholy​​

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Field of Poppies Part 4

Summary: After being apart for six years, childhood friends Tommy and Amelia reunite under odd circumstances. Tommy is an outspoken young man and Amelia is pregnant and out on the streets. The bond of family can be unbreakable but it is tested often. Especially when Europe descends into war.

Part 4: The Shelbys go on holiday to the summer fair. 

             With school on summer holiday, Polly was at her wit's end with the children. While they mostly played outside, they’d always be in and out of the house banging around, tracking mud on the floor, coming in with scraped knees, or crying about something being unfair. Meanwhile, Finn was starting to walk and was also wreaking havoc, pulling on everything not tied down and making quick getaways.

            So, it was decided they would spend some of the holiday on the road with the Strong family. Of course, Tommy and Arthur weren’t exactly pleased. Seeing as the betting shop was just getting up and started, they couldn’t afford to lose out on money. Polly insisted and said Danny and the other men could handle a few weeks.

            Going on seven months pregnant, Amelia was a bit apprehensive about traveling out to the Welsh countryside. However, Tommy assured her that if she were to go into an early labor, she was in capable hands, probably better than any doctor in Birmingham. It was enough to sway her. They all needed a break from the city’s smoke and mud. Some fresh air was bound to do them good.

             And oh how sweet the air smelled once they were finally away from the city limits. Amelia had been to the countryside before but had never joined Tommy’s family to see their kin out on the road. Her parents would never allow her to be near other Travelers, especially ones who tended to be more nomadic in nature than the Shelbys were.

            But Tommy had told her enough stories as a child to make her interested. He tried to scare her with the stories they would tell around the fires. Try to explain the excitement of spring and summer fairs. It seemed like another world when he described it all. To be out in the Welsh wilderness, sleeping under the stars, riding horses all day, spinning yarns about fairies, it seemed to be a child’s dream.

            Now, Amelia was much more aware of the struggles Tommy’s extended family faced. The prejudice and poverty. None of those issues mattered as a child. They had blinders on so they wouldn't see the ugly side of life. All they saw was the fantastical magic the world still held onto. She yearned to have that innocence back but there was no going back.

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            On the second day of traveling to the Black Mountains, Tommy was steering the vardo with Amelia sitting beside him. He held the position naturally, letting the reins be an extension of his arms as he guided the two horses along. Arthur was on another horse, riding along while Polly and the other three children stayed in the back of the wagon.

            “Good to be outside, aye?” Tommy struck up a conversation as a lull in the muggy afternoon settled on them.

            “Oh yes.” Amelia nodded. “Good to see the clear sky instead of smoke.” She joked. "I forgot how blue the sky could get sometimes." 

            “Get used to it. ‘Cause when we’ve got everything going with the shop, m’gonna buy a house out in the countryside.”      

            She smiled. “Is that right?” It wasn’t the first time Tommy made bold claims. Once money started rolling in from the betting shop, he started promising things that sounded outlandish even to Arthur. He promised a brand new luxury car to John, a new five story house for Polly, as many horses as Ada could want, and now a house in the country.

            “Like a cottage. Mum, dad, and I used to rent one for the holidays out in Wiltshire.” She recalled. “Cute little place.”

            “No.” He shook his head, the cigarette in his mouth practically just a bit of ash. “One of those fucking big ones. Like royals have. Dukes 'n whatever they are.”

            “Oh, Thomas, please.” She giggled and nudged him.

            “I’m serious!” He chucked the last bit of his cigarette. “Big place, dozens of bedrooms, proper kitchen, riding stables, maids, cooks, everything. We’ll live there with the baby. He’ll have room to run ‘stead of being cooped up in Small Heath.”

            It sounded wonderful to Amelia, like the stories he used to tell about traveling. But it was so far-fetched. “Can we focus just on what we’ve got now?” She wondered. “Tommy, I’m okay with making do with what I’ve got…and what you and your family have given me.” She touched his knee.

            He glanced over at her, his blue eyes so bright in the summer sun. “You don’t think you deserve more than this?” He wondered. “Wouldn’t you rather a nice big house, proper holidays to places like France?”

            “All those things would be nice but if I never get those things then I’ll be fine. I’m okay with what I have now.” She smiled at him to reassure that there wasn’t anything he needed to prove to her or promise.

            Tommy sighed and his eyes returned to the grassy path ahead of them. “I know the baby’s not mine but…I don’t want any other kid to go hungry like we did. Ain’t right how we were brought up. And if I can change that for my family and for the baby then, why not?”

            Amelia felt she wasn’t in a place to tell if he was right or wrong. So, she leaned over to kiss his cheek affectionately. “You’re a good man, Tommy Shelby.” She said softly. “A very good man.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            They met up with the Strongs at their camp and together they moved North to go to the Appleby fair. Ada chattered on to Amelia the whole ride there about how fun the fair was. There were crafts and fortune-tellers and horses, horses, horses. She would see all of her cousins and other distant relatives that they only got to see once in a blue moon. They’d race horses, swap stories, share laughs, and her brothers would box with the Lee boys.

            Although the trip took a little under a week, Amelia was in good spirits the whole way there. Tommy was practically a different person out in the countryside. He knew how to survive in Small Heath and knew how to survive outdoors just as well. He let loose a bit, not bothering to dress up and going barefoot a lot of the times. He smiled more and played with his siblings. It was as if he had left all his worries back in the city.

            Amelia thought he was so beautiful in the sun. His smile brightened ten fold, his eyes sparkled, and he moved as if he didn't have any stress on his shoulders. It warmed her heart to see him play-wrestling with John, riding horses with Ada, and picking up Finn to spin him around. For a moment, she pictured her child in the scene. A little boy or girl toddling after Tommy, looking for his attention. Tommy scooping them up and holding them close, just as a father would.

            All she could do was smile and keep her wide-eyed fantasies to herself. But it was so easy to get caught up in the magic of the forests and fields. It was so easy to get caught up in the smile of Tommy Shelby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Ada was right, there was a lot to be said about the fair. Intricately and brightly painted vardos lined up and many people were milling around. There were people washing their horses in the rivers as children played and splashed one another by the banks.

            After a long journey, Amelia wanted to stretch her legs. Tommy walked with her along the river as the rest of the family prepared camp and watered the horses.

            “Pol said your feet might be hurting these days.” Tommy’s aunt was his go-to to get any pregnancy answers.

            “They’re a bit swollen, the heat doesn’t help,” Amelia admitted. Although getting to walk was nice, she was starting to get flushed in the heat.

            “And uh…any word from home?” He kept his eyes to the ground, kicking a stone along their way.

            “While we’ve been on the road for over a week?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “I haven’t gotten any messenger birds.”

            Tommy chuckled. “I meant when we were back home. I mean, we haven’t talked about it much.” He pointed out.

            Her smile faded. “No, I haven’t heard from them. I don’t know if they know where I am but I figured…well, I figured they would’ve thought to try and find me in Small Heath. I don’t know where else I would’ve gone with nothing in me pockets.

            “And the father?” They hadn’t broached the subject before because Polly insisted that he leave the matter be. But curiosity was just too damn tough to ignore.

            “Tom, I told you…”

            “Tommy Shelby!” Someone crowed out ahead of them. Three young men about Tommy and Arthur’s age stopped them.

            His face soured when he saw who was calling him. “Will.” He muttered obviously not in the mood to talk to them.

            “I heard the Shelbys were coming, how the hell are ya?” Will appeared to be the oldest of the three, a tall, broad-shouldered man with dark hair.

            “Fine, fine.”

           "And he's got someone up the duff." Will smacked a hand to his forehead when he saw Amelia. "Shelby, Shelby, Shelby. What a shame! You have to learn how to pull out or these things happen, Tommy."  He tutted in Shelta. "She is a sight though."

            Amelia suddenly felt very self-conscious about the baby bump showing. Of course, she ought to be showing at her stage of pregnancy, but she wasn’t keen on embarrassing the Shelbys. Especially if Tommy wasn’t actually the father.

            “Watch your fucking mouth.” Tommy spat venomously.

            The Lee brothers jostled each other, pleased that he was fighting back. “Still got that mouth on ya, Tommy Boy, haven’t ya?”

            “Fuck off.” He wrapped an arm around Amelia’s waist to steer her away from the brothers. “Fucking lowlifes never know when to shut their mouths..” He muttered under his breath.

            “Still got a fight in ya then? Or are ya too scared to step into the ring with me?” Will taunted after him.

            Amelia felt Tommy’s arm stiffen and he stopped in his tracks. Her eyebrows knit in worry. “Tom…” She warned.

            But he slipped away from her and turned to face the brothers again. “Name a time.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~

            “Ah, it’s never too long ‘til Tommy gets into it with one of the Lees at the fair.” Arthur punched his brother in the arm. “Lucky you got practice with those Birmingham Boys, aye?”

            Tommy avoided Amelia’s questioning glance even though he could feel her eyes on him.

            Polly didn’t even look like she wanted to get into the matter. Men fought at fairs, that was only tradition and it was in good fun most of the time. Besides, Small Heath was much more dangerous than a bout of boxing.

            Around the Shelbys’ camp, there was a buzz in the air of excitement. Music could be heard in a couple of different directions, people laughed and joined each other for a good time around the roaring fires and lanterns. Some girls some yards away were dancing in a circle, their long skirts illuminated by the flames.

            “When can I fight, Pol?” John asked hopefully. “I can take the Lees too!”

            “Hush.” Polly scolded. “When you’re older and you’ve learned how to box properly. I don’t want to bring you home with a broken hand.”

            John grimaced. “I’m old enough.” He muttered.

            “Men don’t pout or slouch.” She said and stood up to tend to Finn who was stirring in the vardo.

            “You gonna kill ‘im then, Tom?” Arthur smirked. “I heard he was…” He made a subtle gesture to Amelia who was talking softly with Ada. The eldest Shelby wanted to mention about how bad Tommy had it for Amelia. It was blatantly obvious to everyone. But neither of them seemed to want to admit it. 

            Tommy tossed a twig into the fire mindlessly. “He’ll learn to keep his fucking mouth shut.” He mumbled.

            “Shelby!” Someone called.

            Arthur grinned and clapped his brother on the back. “Let’s go then.”

            “Tom?” Amelia looked worried when they stood up. “Where are you going?”

            “Gonna go fight, Mel. Tommy’s gonna show them Lees how to throw a good punch”

            “But…” Her stomach went into knots. “Maybe you could stay here and-”

            “Won’t be long, Mel,” Tommy promised.

            “Fine, then I’m coming.” She wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders and followed them.

            “Not really for women.” Arthur tried to show opposition to the idea but Tommy didn’t seem to mind. Maybe if she saw him fight, she would know he could hold his own and she wouldn’t have to worry about the betting shop. No longer was he the stick-thin little teenager who was sometimes more bark than bite. No, he’d found his anger and learned to use it to his advantage.

                       The makeshift ring was lit by lanterns and nearby fires. A group was already forming to watch the show. The Lees were riling Will up who was already there, waiting for his opponent. But they all seemed to be in good nature, passing drinks and cigarettes, laughing, and cussing.

            Tommy pulled off his undershirt and handed it to Amelia to hold. She was a bit stunned to see he had a tattoo on his chest. The sun-like lines were certainly new as far as she was aware. But she didn’t mention the ink.

            Arthur was handing his brother a flask, Tommy downing the contents before ducking under the rope.

            The crowd of onlookers was a bit rowdy, pleased to see young blood fighting like real men. Bare knuckles, no weapons, how it was meant to be a Romani man. A good show of tradition.

            Amelia felt her palms start to sweat. Will was a good head taller than Tommy was and seemingly more muscular by his build.

            However, Arthur, standing beside her, looked less than concerned. “He’ll be alright, Mellie. He’s taken down bigger fuckers than this one.” He promised.

            Amelia had seen Tommy fight before, but the last time must’ve been when they were only thirteen. The wiry boy had a habit for picking fights and never staying down even when he was bleeding or had a broken bone. She never seemed to mind seeing him fight while they were in school. But seeing him in the ring with someone bigger than him, it made her stomach flip-flop.

            And Tommy drew out the suspension. He allowed Will to get in a couple of swings, but he dodged them. His size allowed him to be quicker and more agile on his feet. The two circled around each other, fists up by their faces. Will looked smug with himself, confident that he would win. On the other hand, Tommy had fire in his blue-eyes. He wasn't fighting to have a few laughs. 

            “Hit ‘im, Tommy!” Arthur roared after his brother dodged a couple more blows.

            Something changed in Tommy’s eyes as he threw a punch. Amelia could hear the blow land even over the boisterous crowd. She winced and ducked her head a bit. When had she ever been afraid to watch a fight? She must’ve egged on a few scuffles in her day. Goading Tommy to kick in the teeth of the school bully. But when Will landed a punch and she saw Tommy’s head jerk back, she cringed and hid her face in Arthur’s sleeve.

            She could still hear the contact of punches, the sound of the men spurring them on, and the grunts from Will and Tommy as they fought. But she couldn’t bear to watch it.  

            It only took a few minutes before someone was shouting.“Oi, oi! Get ‘im off!”

            “Tom, c’mon, that’s enough!” Arthur moved from Amelia and got into the ring.

            She looked up and saw Tommy on top of Will, pummeling his face. Arthur ripped his brother off.

            "Got fucking devils in them. Those fucking Shelbys are rabid." Someone nearby remarked.

             "Aye, get it from their father. Murder in their blood."

             "Do not let me hear you talking about her again." Tommy threatened in Shelta before he finally let his brother steer him away from the ring. He spat on the ground, leaving the Lees to help an injured Will off the ground. 

            Coated with a sheen of sweat, Tommy was breathing hard. Even in the dim light, Amelia could assess the damage. It seemed Will had taken the brunt of the fight. Tommy only walked away with a bloody lip, a bruise forming on his jaw, and some dirt sticking to his torso.

            “Go wash off and calm the fuck down,” Arthur ordered before heading back toward the camp.

  ~~~~~~~~~~         

            Amelia followed Tommy to the river so he could wash the blood and dirt away. She lingered behind as he knelt down on the bank and splash cold water over him.

            “What did you say to him?” She wondered.

            “Nothing.” Tommy shook the water from his hair and wiped his hands over his face.

            “Well, you said something, Tom.”

            He stood and took his shirt back, using it to dry off a bit. “It was nothing.” He said again.

            They stood in silence for a bit. Music still hung in the air as the night wore on. There was an uproar from the crowd, signaling the start of another boxing match.

            Curious, Amelia stepped toward him and splayed her fingers out over his tattoo, following the direction of the lines. “This is new.”

            Tommy felt like his skin was on fire even after the cold douse of water. He couldn’t find the words for a long moment, simply watching her slender fingers trailing over the inked lines. “I-uh…you can’t tell Pol about it.” He tried to hide his stammer. “She’ll fucking kill me.”

            Amelia laughed softly and withdrew her hand. “Alright.” She agreed. “Your secret is safe with me.”                    

            He smiled and threw on the shirt to conceal the tattoo. “C’mon.” He murmured and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

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[singledarkshade]

Gettng To Know You

Summary: Having now agreed to travel with the Doctor, Rory decides to ask some questions. Sequel to The Doctor And The Nurse. and A Fishy Tail. Author’s Note: Just a small fic this time. I will hopefully write more soon. Enjoy.                                ********************************************* Rory finished putting away the clothes he’d brought with him before he set the only picture that he’d brought with him on the bedside cabinet, the same place it usually sat at home. It was his favourite picture of him and Amy, taken the day he’d graduated from Nursing School, and he knew she had a copy with her as she travelled.

He wondered what she’d think of him, going on trips into time and space with a stranger he’d met that morning.

Part of him knew it was insane that he should grab his stuff and leave but, even though he’d almost been killed twice within the last twenty-four hours, Rory couldn’t wait to see what else was out there.

Stepping out of his room into the corridor, Rory hesitated for a moment before turning to his right and hoping that was the way back to the control room.

This place was massive and from what he had understood from the Doctor’s slightly rambling explanation, it was almost infinite. He wanted to explore, especially since the Doctor had mentioned a library, a massive wardrobe, a kitchen and an art gallery.

“Everything packed away?” the Doctor asked as Rory appeared through the door.

Rory nodded, “I would have been here sooner, but I got a little turned around.”

“Did you pass anything interesting?” the Doctor didn’t look up from the console.

“Yeah,” he breathed, “An observatory and then the most incredible library. Hopefully I can find it again.”

The Doctor chuckled stroking the console, “I’m sure you will. If she showed you the library on day one, then trust me the TARDIS likes you.”

Seeing the small shy smile that touched Rory’s lips, the Doctor wondered how often Rory got to feel like he was cared for. It was clear that Rory adored his friend Amy but she had left the country, while all the pictures of his friends were centred around her so the Doctor suspected they were mostly her friends. Familywise, from what Rory had said and what he’d seen, the Doctor was sure that the only family Rory had was a grandmother.

It was a shame, because Rory was the kind of person who should be surrounded by people. The was one of the reasons the Doctor had invited him along, the other was because he liked smart people with him when travelling.

“Doctor,” Rory said as he moved to join him, “This might be a bit of a stupid question, especially considering I’ve already agreed to travel with you but…”

“But?” the Doctor asked as the young man trailed off.

Rory fidgeted for a few seconds, “Who exactly are you?”

The Doctor stared at him for a minute before shrugging, “I’m the Doctor.”

“That doesn’t help,” Rory replied, he took a breath, “From everything I’ve seen then I’m assuming you’re from the future because no one has technology like this here and now.”

A proud smile touched the Doctor’s lips, “Most people don’t really think that through.”

Rory shrugged.

“I’m a Time Lord,” the Doctor told him, “From the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous.”

“A Time Lord,” Rory repeated softly before noting, “So, that means you’re not human.”

The Doctor opened a compartment beneath the console and rummaged round till he found the stethoscope, “Here. You know how to use this, right?”

“I’m familiar,” Rory replied dryly, taking it.

“Find my heart,” the Doctor said.

Bemused Rory did as he was told, frowning as he moved the chest-piece across the Doctor’s chest, before testing it on himself and checking again.

“You have two hearts?” Rory breathed in astonishment, “You have two hearts.”

The Doctor nodded.

 Rory knew that his new friend was different, but this was beyond what he’d expected. Slowly he sat and leaned against the strut trying to get his head around all the information he’d just received.

“Do you need a paper bag to breathe into?” the Doctor asked, taking a seat at his side.

Letting out a soft sigh, Rory whispered, “You’re an alien.”

“Yup,” the Doctor took a seat at his side.

“That’s…” Rory turned to him, “You look human.”

“You look Time Lord,” the Doctor threw back at him with a smile. Gently nudging his friend, the Doctor noted, “You know you’ve met aliens already. Snogged one as a matter of fact.”

“You’re never letting that go, are you?” Rory rolled his eyes.

The Doctor chuckled, “Not anytime soon.” He sat for another moment in silence before asking, “Are you okay with this or do you want to go home?”

“No,” Rory said, “I mean, yes.” He held up his hand to stop the Doctor saying anything before clarifying, “I don’t want to go home and I’m fine with it. You’re an alien with a box that’s bigger on the inside who travels in time.”

“I am.”

Rory pulled himself off the ground, “Then where to next?”

The Doctor bounced to his feet with a grin, “Let’s see.”

                                 *********************************************

 “You know this is an amazingly gorgeous sunset,” the Doctor noted as they sat on the cliff, keeping out the way of the many dinosaurs roaming around, “In a prehistoric world, so why are you looking at your phone?”

Rory’s head bobbed up guiltily, “What?”

“I thought you were filming at first,” the Doctor said, “But you’re looking at it like it’s going to ring at any moment. You know there’s no service here.”

Rory chuckled, “Sorry. I just remembered that Amy usually calls or sends a message tonight. Or well the night we met…you know what I mean.”

The Doctor chuckled, “I do. You two are close?”

Rory nodded, “We grew up together. She moved to Leadworth when she was seven,” he gave a wry smile, “My mum made me visit the new family with her as part of the welcoming committee to the village. Amy looked at me decided we were friends. I didn’t have many so just went with it,” he paused and sighed sadly, “When my mum died, I spent most of my time at her house, and she talked for me. Sometimes saying what I wanted her to actually say.”

The Doctor chuckled softly.

“We’ve been friends all our lives,” Rory continued, “When I got the job in London, Amy told me I had to take it. She wanted to leave Leadworth and we made plans to share a flat.”

Seeing the sadness in the younger man’s eyes the Doctor asked, “What happened?”

“She got a job as an assistant to some authors who are travelling the world,” Rory sighed, “It happened the day before we moved.”

The Doctor sat in silence for a moment before asking, “Were you two ever…”

“Ever?”

Rolling his eyes that the younger man was not catching on what he was asking, the Doctor clarified, “A couple.”

“Oh,” Rory blushed slightly, “No. I mean at one point I thought…but she never…and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

The Doctor nodded, “Okay.”

“She’s my best friend,” Rory continued, “I’d rather be that than lose her because I tried to make us something we’re not.”

“Give me your phone,” the Doctor held out his hand, snapping his fingers when Rory hesitated, “Just, let me see it for a moment.”

Reluctantly, Rory handed over his phone watching as the Doctor pulled out the sonic and upgraded it. Handing it back he smiled, “If she calls, you’ll get it now.”

“What?” Rory stared at his phone.

“Universal Roaming,” the Doctor told him, “Always good to have.”

 Rory stared at the Doctor but before he could say anything his mobile began to ring and the picture of his best friend appeared.

“Amy,” he answered.

“Rory,” the cheerful cry made him smile, “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“You too,” Rory replied before asking, “Where are you?”

“We’re still in India,” Amy told him, “You would not believe how beautiful the country is.”

Chuckling softly, Rory looked around the prehistoric landscape he and the Doctor were standing in.

“Is it everything you thought it would be?” he asked, “Where are you exactly? Can you send me a picture?”

“Actually, I’m in the airport lounge,” Amy told him, “We’re heading to Peru tonight, hopefully. We’ve been delayed three hours already.”

“What about after Peru?” Rory asked, covering the mouthpiece as one of the dinosaurs let out a cry.

“Where are you?” Amy demanded.

Rory hesitated before replying, “The zoo.”

“What are you doing at the zoo?” Amy asked in surprise.

“I just went for a walk,” Rory improvised, “And ended up here. I’ve never been.”

She laughed.

Realising that the prehistoric animals were starting to get agitated, Rory turned to where the Doctor was motioning him to wrap it up.

“Amy, I have to go,” Rory told her, wincing as he lamely improvised, “I’m going to one of the talks. About chimps.”

“Chimps? At…what time is it?” Amy asked.

“Got to go,” Rory told her, ignoring the question, “Talk to you later. Hope your flight leaves soon.” Hanging up Rory turned to the Doctor, “What’s happening?”

“I just realised what night this is?” the Time Lord told him, “The dinosaur killing meteor is coming. Actually, it’s the Cybermen…never mind about that.”

“Which means?”

The Doctor pushed him towards the TARDIS, “We better get out of here.”

Hustled into the box, Rory spotted a bright light appearing in the sky coursing downwards. The Doctor ran to the console and pulled the lever sending them back into the timestream.

“Where to now?”

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Behind The Marriage - Harry Styles Series (Part 36)

Part 35

The sound of a baby’s cry filling the bedroom, caused Harry to shoot up from the bed. He groaned as he felt dizzy from the abrupt movement from his sleep. Once he had a little bit of a handle on things, he got up from the bed and quickly went over to take little Amelia in his arms. Finn was still sleeping, despite his sister’s wails. In order to keep it that way, Harry took Amelia into th nursery across the hall and shut the door. 

“What’s the matter, love? Hm?” Harry whispered holding her to his naked chest. 

She whimpered as he held her, looking out the window as the moonlight shone inside. The babies were officially over a month old and they were mostly sleeping through the night, only waking up for one or two feedings. Luckily, you were eventually able to start producing enough milk, so you were able to pump in between feedings. That helped a lot because having the extra milk on hand meant you didn’t have to always get up to feed the babies and that Harry could tend to them. 

“Are you hungry?” He yawned. “Your nappy’s still dry, so it’s not that.” 

She nuzzled her head against him, still cooing and whimpering, but nothing like before. Harry smiled kissing her little head as he walked around the room, swaying her in his arms a little. Fatherhood was everything he had hoped it would be and more. He absolutely loved his tiny humans made up of both you and him. They were both still quite young, but it was getting obvious day by day that Finn looked just like a mini Harry and Amelia looked just like a mini you. 

However, their personalities were very much the opposite. After a bit, Harry sat down on the glider, rocking the two of them back and forth. Amelia’s eyes stared up at him, sleepily as he took her tiny hand in his. He started humming as he looked down at her before singing softly. What looked like a smile crossed her lips and her eyes were fighting to stay open. It take long before she finally dozed off. 

Harry watched her for a few minutes before quietly walking back into the bedroom. You and Finn were still fast asleep as he placed a now sleeping Amelia back into the bassinet. He smiled kissing her tiny forehead once more before heading over to the bed. He slid in beside you and you quickly wrapped your arms around him. Harry smiled cuddling into you as he closed his eyes. 

**

Later the next day, you and Harry decided to get out of the house and take the babies on a walk around the neighborhood. It was one of the only times you’ve actually gone out of the house with the babies since they were born besides doctor visits. You and Harry were still quite protective over them and the media finding pictures, so you wanted to keep them hidden as much as possible. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want people to know or see them it’s just that you knew how cruel people could be and your babies were innocent. It was a crisp autumn day, so you dressed them in warm onesies and socks with little beanies on their heads. 

“Only you would buy our babies matching Gucci onesies,” you laughed. 

“Hey! They were a gift!” he defended. 

“Well, excuse me,” you joked. 

“You have to admit that they’re cute though,” he smirked. 

“It’s true,” you nodded. “But I think that has everything to do with me and not the onesies.” 

“And what about me? Pretty sure I was there for the making of these adorable babies,” he gasped. 

“All two minutes?” You joked. 

“Heeeyyy! You’re not being very nice to me!” he whined. 

“You know I love you,” you smiled kissing his cheek. 

“Yeah and you love taking the piss out of me,” he pouted. 

“Oh because you don’t do the same thing to me?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course not,” he smirked. “I’d never do such a thing.” 

“Glad it’s not storming because I’m pretty sure a bolt of lightening would just shoot through this house,” you joked. 

“Anyway,” he rolled his eyes. “Let’s get this show on the road! The babies are ready.” 

“The babies are sleeping,” you laughed looking at them in the side by side stroller. 

Their hands were intertwined and you quickly snapped a picture. Harry smiled and the four of you headed out the door. 

**

It felt amazing being out of the house. Even if was just for an quick stroll around the neighborhood. It wasn’t that you felt trapped in the house, but you and Harry really had left the house much since the babies were born. Between taking care of them and you healing from the delivery, you really didn’t have a reason to leave. Harry pushed the stroller as you walked beside him, holding onto his arm. 

“This is nice,” you smiled laying your head on his shoulder as you walked. “We should do this more often.” 

“We should,” he nodded kissing the top of your head. “How are you feeling?” 

“Much better,” you said. “I’m still a little sore at times, but mostly when I’ve over done it.” 

He nodded, “So, I’ve got something to run by you.” 

“What’s that?” You asked. 

“You know our Mum’s came over a few times to watch Finn and Eila while we got some rest?” He asked. 

“You mean our lifesaver’s?” You giggled. 

He laughed, “Yeah.” 

“Of course, I do,” you said. “What about it?” 

“Well, I was thinking, if you’re feeling up to it,” he said. “That maybe we could have them or Gemma over again to watch them while we went out to dinner. I know it’s been ages since we’ve been out of the house and it’s been even longer since we sort of had some time to ourselves. I’m not saying we go out for this huge night on the town, but if even it’s just a hour for dinner at a pub down the street, it’ll be worth it.” 

You smiled, “Aww, do you miss me?” 

He laughed, “What can I say? I’m a little jealous,” he joked. 

You giggled, “I think-I think that’s a wonderful idea, but can we make it a little nicer than a pub? I kinda want to get dressed up a little bit since I’ve mostly been looking like a hot mess lately.” 

“A beautiful hot mess,” he corrected. 

You laughed shaking your head, “Anyway, yeah, I think that sounds lovely. We can see who is free soon and then go from there.” 

“Sounds perfect,” he smiled. 

**

 A few nights later, you and Harry were getting ready for you big date night. Well, it was simply just dinner, but it was something you were really looking forward to. However, now that the time had come, you weren’t sure about leaving your babies. Yes, you trusted your mother and Gemma to take care of them, but it was just something about the act of both you and Harry leaving them behind that was strange. 

Before, when your families came over, you and Harry were still in the house in case they needed you for something, but now you two would be at least twenty or so minutes away. But it was just dinner, so you and Harry would mostly be gone an hour to two hours at the most. You really wanted this night to go well and spend time with your husband, so you did your best to push away any negative thoughts about leaving the babies. 

You kept your hair and makeup look simply, but still more than what you’ve done in what seems like months. You still weren’t comfortable wearing a dress quite yet due to your body still being in healing mode, so you settled on some black trousers and a nice blouse to match. When you walked out of the closet, Harry smiled as he looked you up and down. 

“So fucking beautiful, baby,” he smiled. 

You smiled with a hint of a blush at your cheeks, “Thank you, some of my things still don’t fit well yet.” 

“You still look gorgeous,” he smiled. “Ready to go?” 

“Let’s say bye to the babies first,” you said. 

He laughed, “Of course.” 

Your Mom and Gemma were in the nursery, each holding a baby in their laps as they played with their toys. They were more active at a month old than when you first brought them home from the hospital, but they also still mostly laid there and did nothing. 

“Well don’t you two clean up well,” Gemma smiled. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “Now, you know you can call us if you need anything. We also can text you the name and the number of the restuarant in case you can’t get a hold of us. There are extra bottles in the fridge and there’s a bottle warmer in the kitchen as well as in our room. Feel free to use either. Oh and we have some milk in the freezer as well..” 

“Y/N, “ your mom said. “You’re only going to be gone for a couple of hours. If we needed to feed them that many times to get the milk in the freezer than we’ve got a big problem,” she laughed. 

“I’m sorry, this is just the first time I’m leaving them and want everything to be perfect,” you said. 

“It will be,” she smiled. “Now, go and have fun.” 

“Oh, I bought extra diapers in case you need them,” Harry said. “They’re downstairs in the living room.” 

“I think we’ll be good,” Gemma said. “Again you two are only going to be gone for a bit.” 

“I believe you’re underestimating just how many times the two of them might shit in just a couple of hours,” he laughed. 

“It’s true,” you laughed. “We’ve got double diaper changes, so it stacks up.” 

“We’ve got it!” Gemma laughed. “Now go before your late and miss your reservation.” 

“Fine, fine, we’re going,” Harry laughed taking your hand and pulling you out of the room. 

**

The drive to the restaurant was mostly silent. Only the sound of the radio playing filled the background as you and Harry held hands. It was nice having a moment like that, just being together, not having to say a word. It had been so long since you two shared a moment like this. When you got the restaurant, Harry gave the valet his car and the two of you walked inside. 

The hostess sat you two down at a table near the back of the building, so you two could have your privacy. Usually it wasn’t such a big deal, but Harry wanted this to go perfectly and didn’t want either of you to be distracted or interrupted. You quickly grabbed the menu and scanned over it. Over the last month, many of your meals were either takeaway or something that was quick and easy to cook, so you were looking forward to a nice sit down meal. 

Once you two placed your order, Harry took your hand in his, “I think we should do this at least once a month,” he smiled. “It’s nice to get away and have some time for us.” 

“It is,” you nodded. “Thank you for arranging all this and coming up with the idea. It’s one of those things where you didn’t really realize you needed it until you have it.” 

“I know, I’m just happy you were feeling up to it,” he said. “When do you go back to the doctor?” 

“Um, two weeks I believe?” You said. “I’ve got in my in phone, but I’m pretty sure it’s soon.” 

He nodded, “Do you want me to go with you?” 

“If you want,” you said. “It’s mostly just to check everything, make sure everything’s healed and what not. I am probably going to bring the babies this time, so everyone can have a look.” 

“I’ll go then,” he smiled. “Help you with them.” 

“Thank you,” you smiled. 

The waitress brought over some bread and poured two glasses of wine before walking away. You took a piece of bread and quickly took a bite before taking a sip of your wine. 

“Can you believe we use to this at least a few times a week?” You asked. “Especially when you were out at the studio and now I can’t really remember the last time we did it.” 

He laughed nodding, “I know it’s crazy how much everything’s changed so quickly, but it also feels like it’s been ages.” 

“Exactly,” you smiled. 

About twenty minutes later, your dinners were brought and you both started eating. Every so often, you two would take a quick look at your phone to check in and so far everything was going well. When it was time for desert, you looked over at Harry, who was acting strangely. 

“What’s with you?” You laughed. 

“Nothing, nothing at all,” he said simply finishing the last little bit of his wine. 

“Right,” you said unconvinced. “I know when you’re up to something, so what is it?” 

“Can you ever just let me surprise you?” He laughed pulling something out of his pocket. 

It was a velvet box that was quite large, yet still small enough to fit inside of his coat pocket without being seen. He placed it on the table in front of you and you looked up at him. 

“What’s this?” you asked. 

“Open it,” he smiled. 

You smiled as you pulled off the perfectly tied ribbon and opened the box. In side was a beautiful, rose gold bar necklace with the first initial of each of your’s, Harry’s, and the babies names engraved on it. You weren’t sure if it was the fact you weren’t expecting it, the fact that it was so beautiful, or your hormones still getting back to normal, but tears formed in your eyes as you ran your hand across it. 

“It’s beautiful,” you whispered. “Perfect.” 

Harry smiled getting up from his chair and walking over to you. He took the necklace out of the box and fastened it around your neck. 

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I love it.” 

You put your hand over the necklace as you tried to control your emotions a bit better. 

“You’re welcome, baby,” he whispered kneeling down in front of you. 

He took your hand into his and looked up at you. “You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been and since you brought our beautiful, amazing, son and daughter into this world, you’ve only made me even happier. I would give you the world if I could because you deserve it.” 

You sniffled placing your hand on his cheek, “But you have,” you whispered. “You’ve given me everything I could have ever wanted in this world and more.” 

He smiled, “I love you,” he whispered. 

“And I love you,” you smiled before pressing your lips to his, pouring as much as your love for him as you could into the kiss. 

**

Should this be the ending??? Don’t get me wrong I hate to see this story end, but I’m not sure how much more I have in me to keep it going without it getting boring! Let me know though!

Or I could try and write up a more clear ending post. If you have an idea on what you’d want me to include!

[wolfpawn]

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 94

Chapter Summary -   The Skull Island tour has been long and tedious, taking a lot out of Tom. When he returns home, it is too much and his body tells him he needs to rest, which leads to him needing care, thankfully, his ex-paramedic girlfriend comes home to assist.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​​ @jessibelle-nerdy-mum​​ @nonsensicalobsessions​​ @damalseer​​ @hiddlesbitch1​​ @winterisakiller​​ @fairlightswiftly​​ @salempoe​​​ @wolfsmom1​​​

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

Tom fell onto the bed and groaned. He could tell he was on the verge of being ill, his stomach felt odd and his head felt fuzzy. He had not drunk very much at the awards, but he suspected that the little he did drink after all the tiring travelling over the last two weeks and the now suspect stomach upset was not helping. Looking at his phone for a moment to see what the beep noise he had heard in the car back to the house was. He did not tend to check his phone in cars, he left it in a car one night and it cost him a good opportunity at a role in the time it took to get it back. He had to squint to see the words on screen.

Danielle - Delighted for you, you deserved it. The food is so weird here, I am scared to try some. I cannot wait to be home with you tomorrow, I love you and I am so proud of you. Xxx

He grinned on realising that Danielle had taken the time to text. Over the past few weeks, they did not talk often, mostly by text, but he ensured to contact her every day as he got ready for whatever the day held and before bed, she did the same, but usually added another text on days he was on tv shows or the red carpet to give him encouragement and her thoughts. It made him excited to check his phone after such events. To watch the Jimmy Kimmel show, she had to get out of bed after a day of work and with more work the next day, as well as spending her evening's correspondence with the Lucas man she was working with in America, but she did it willingly. Her words and the smiley face or x’s at the end of her texts and the ‘I love you’ at the end of her day made him smile goofily without fail any time he received one. It made the tiring days and the lonely nights in hotel rooms so much easier. They spoke twice, but time zones and workloads made it difficult. Danielle’s week of work was one of intensity and insane hours, especially with her other work too. He knew she would be reluctant to speak too because he would scold her for overdoing it. The only grace he had was because it was in Suffolk and she was next to his mother, he had Diana keep an eye on her.

Feeling drowsy and unwell, Tom kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed, not even taking off his pants and fell asleep lying across the bed, his head on Danielle’s pillow, inhaling her scent as he drifted off.

*

Danielle tried Tom’s phone again, but it was still turned off. Thinking he was driving, she sat in the airport café and waited a little while longer. Her flight had been fifteen minutes early, though she suspected that that was because it gave itself a little longer flight time to declare itself ahead of time on a lot of services, and it was a time of day where traffic in London could be a tad mad, so she knew there was a high probability that Tom was delayed. She had texted when she got to Orlando on the stopover for her flight, and again at Schiphol, but Tom never replied to her texts, so she could only assume that even if there was an issue with his phone, he would still come at the time they had arranged. But as it came to an hour after that time and he was still not there, she began to wonder what to do. She rang him one last time, but as soon as she heard the automated answering machine, she hung up. Part of her thought to get a cab, but considering she was only in the US for two days and only brought a small backpack, she decided the Tube was far more cost-effective.

It took a little over an hour to get back to Belsize from Heathrow, and the entire way, Danielle thought over the time that Tom had been on the press tour. It was doable, or so she thought anyway. Not fun, not ideal, but very doable. She had spent time with Emma, feeling as though it was as good as before the whole Christmas debacle and they arranged to go out another time soon. Herself and Nacelle had a great time at her house, even if she had to hide her clothes in Diana’s, much to her neighbour’s utter bewilderment when she answered the front door to see Danielle standing there with clothes in her arms, not even packed in suitcases, asking her to mind them for a few days. Nacelle met Diana, who apparently knew her mother from her days in theatre and the trio had dinner any time that Nacelle and Danielle returned to the house at a normal hour. The nights they did not, there was food waiting for them in the fridge.

Luke had informed her halfway through the first week that Tom was away that the photos of her on the internet had caused little reaction. Most assuming her to be Tom’s dog walker, but one or two tried to link her to being the girl Tom was seen with for dinner with his mother, but her makeup and hair had thrown most into rubbishing it. But the small few were adamant it was the same person and were declaring their love or hate for it accordingly. He also warned her that there were a few that were certain that he was still seeing Taylor, and nothing would waive them. Danielle was not in any way bothered by such accusations, if anything, it meant she and Tom were less likely to be on people’s radar for the time being, which suited her.

When she walked to the house from the Tube station, she frowned at seeing Tom’s Jaguar and her car both in the driveway. She opened the door and walked into the house. “Hello?” She noted Tom’s keys and suitcase. “Tom?” looking around, she realised Tom had done nothing of note since he came home. His laptop bag and his wallet were in the kitchen, as were his two new Empire Awards. “Tom?” She called out again, but again, there was no answer. She walked up the stairs and towards the bedroom. The door was slightly ajar and to be honest, the irrational part of her brain began to think of more and more outlandish worst-case scenarios, but she dismissed it and walked in slowly.

The room was in darkness and there was clearly someone in the bed. As soon as she entered, she got her reason for why he had not come to the airport. Looking at the figure in the bed, she felt herself feeling pity for him. There was a strong smell of sweat and vomit. Her years as a paramedic meant that though others would recoil, she only noticed because it was so strong. The first thing she did was went to the window and opened it slightly before then going to the bathroom to assess the damage. She cleaned everything that was required there and then put a fresh spray of air freshener inside. When that was done she left the room again and went downstairs. She put on a wash, knowing they would need to get the laundry sorted before going to the kitchen and making a rehydration drink for Tom, as well as bringing a few headache tablets. When she went back upstairs, she noticed Tom had not even stirred. Sitting on the side of the bed, she placed the drink and drugs on the beside locker before trying to wake him.

Her hand went to his sweat covered hair and brushed it off his forehead. “Tom, hey…” Tom groaned. “Hey, handsome.”

“Elle?”

“Hey.”

“What…what are you doing here? You’re not home until tomorrow night.”

“It is tomorrow night; my flight came in this evening as it was supposed to. Have you been sick since yesterday?”

“I came home from the awards, I felt like shit, then I…” He rushed off the bed and back to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet violently. Danielle followed him. “No. Out.” He ordered as he spat into the cleaned bowl.

“Not a chance, I am trained and desensitised to this,” She pointed out, getting a face cloth and dampening it before putting it to his forehead. “You’re run down.”

“You’re one to talk, you look like you could sleep for a week.”

“Running across one of the largest airports in the world for a connecting flight was not fun, but overall I am fine, I miss my bed.”

“I ruined it.”

“The bed?” He nodded sheepishly, “I’ll get clean sheets, you sit here for a moment,” She put down the toilet seat. Tom silently did as instructed.

It took only a few moments to change the bed, she also opened the window slightly so that the room would get some fresh air. It was raining, but not overly cold so it would not require her to put the heating on for longer. When she was done she brought the sheets down and placed them beside the washing machine before heading back upstairs, making sure the lights were off and the doors were locked as she did. It was only eight at night, but she was tired and Tom was sick, no one was going to get up again soon, she thought.

In the bedroom, Tom was almost like a zombie as he made his way back from the bathroom to the bed. “Come on,” She led him back. “No, stay standing for a second, I need to get these off you.”

“You just want me for my body,” He joked as she pulled off his pants.

Danielle couldn’t help but laugh, “We both knew that from the start.” She jibbed. “Drink this.” Tom did as instructed and though he hated the taste. She then helped him with his shirt and lifted the duvet up for him. “Are you tired?”

“Yes.” Tom groaned again as he fell into the bed.

“If you’re still ill in the morning, we’ll get you to the doctor, until then, we’ll catch up on sleep.” She smiled, getting into the bed next to him. Tom pulled her to him, even though he was still warm from his bug, Danielle curled into him. “I missed you.” She kissed his hand that was around her.

“I missed you too,” Tom kissed her shoulder.

“Get some rest, Tom.” Danielle was falling asleep as she spoke.

*

When Tom woke the next morning, he was relieved to feel better. Beside him on the nightstand was another one of Danielle’s toxic but effective rehydration drinks. He sat up and downed the mixture so that he would get rid of the last of whatever he was enduring. Turning slightly at the peculiar noise next to him, he looked to see Danielle asleep, her hair covering her face. Chuckling, he pulled it back and bit his lips together as he watched her snort in her sleep, he could not call it snoring, as that had a rhythm to it, but occasionally, whatever way she was breathing with her mouth open, she snorted. He looked at her guiltily, wondering how long she had waited for him at the airport. Had she rung his sister to collect her, gotten a cab or taken the Tube, he felt terrible for not even thinking to contact her. He noted she seemed to be a tad pale, he wondered if he had passed his illness to her. He could not recall if she had looked like that on her return the night before; only that she had tended to him, selflessly and lovingly. She would have been exhausted, but she made the bed with fresh sheets, smiling at him to not worry as she went to do so. Part of him wanted to wake her and thank her, to tell her he loved her for what she was and what she had done, but he knew she was tired, so he left her sleep, instead choosing to get a shower, knowing that he needed one desperately. When he was done, he was slightly shocked to see that Danielle had not even moved in the bed, instead she seemed to be snoring slightly now. Tom realised before that she usually did that when she was at her most exhausted. He went downstairs and looked around. He was startled to see there was no sign of Mac, then cursed for not remembering to collect the dog in his illness. He found his phone, which was dead, and put it on charge. Thinking for a moment, he went to put on the kettle but then thought against it, instead he decided that given the past few days, both he and Danielle deserved a treat, so he ran to the café down the street and got them both their favourite drinks and pastries before heading back to the house. He groaned as a photographer caught sight of him and for some reason thought him getting coffees was something of considerable note and proceeded to take loads of pictures.

When he arrived back, he went straight to the kitchen to see if his phone had enough charge to turn it on. “Hey.”

“Good morning, you look a lot better.” Danielle was standing at the kettle, waiting for it to boil, and loving smile on her face. He walked over and gave her a passionate kiss. “A very good morning then?”

“The best.” He held up the items he bought. “A gift, as my apology.”

“Apology for what?” She asked, taking the caramel latte from the cup holder.

“Not collecting you.” He stated meekly.

“What? Tom, you were sick, you don’t need to apologise for that.” She laughed. “I won’t say no to my favourite coffee and an apple Danish though, no matter what the excuse or reason.” Tom pulled out the two pastries and handed her one. “Thank you. So how are you now?”

“Hungry, what about you?”

“Same, I didn’t eat too much in New Orleans, the food was all gumbo’s and stuff and I just was suspicious of everything.”

“I was down South for I Saw the Light, the food is something you have to be careful with, it can have a huge kick to it and not have any sign of it.” Danielle smiled and nodded, Tom’s face fell. “The interview?” Danielle shook her head. “Elle, I…I’m so sorry, did they give you any feedback?”

“The assistant director is Lena Dunham.” Tom’s face filled with recognition. “She said no, so that was it.”

“Elle, it’s my fault…”

“No, it’s not. You held decorum and class after everything, if her friends or even she wants to get petty, then that is not our doing. I was talking to Lucas, he was asked to do a war film here, Normandy and in Ireland. He’s too busy but he told them about me, no interview or anything, it’s mine if I want it.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Well gunfire, tanks, explosions and filth is the general gist of war stuff, so loads of headaches regarding safety, but it is being done with the help of a good friend of yours.” Tom looked at her. “Branagh.”

“He is an amazing man, honestly, one of the most incredible directors I’ve worked with.”

“I know. He wants to talk to me one on one to see if I can work with his idea. Apparently sometimes when a door closes, the sidewall of the house comes off. Branagh has a lot of influence, Lucas is his usual go-to man, but this redoing this safety thing is his only project this year, so he recommended me. If I can work this…” She smiled, “Jesus if I can actually get Branagh on my resume if I do this right…”

Tom pulled her to him, “You will, you are meticulous and intelligent, I know you will fly through this, wait and see.”

“He is in London next week.”

“Great.”

“I said I would meet him, but also that if possible could I bring my partner with me.” Tom looked at her blankly. “It was his wife I was talking to, when she asked who said partner was and relayed the message, he was elated apparently. So, fancy coming to lunch with me and Kenneth Branagh next week?”

Tom pulled her to him. “I will gladly accompany my beautiful girlfriend to her work meeting with the world-famous director next week.” He beamed. “Look at you Elle, less than a year in and you are getting all this done.”

“Visualisation. I thought it and look what’s happening; you, Mac, who we will collect after our coffees, my exams, my promotions, so to speak, it has to be deemed a promotion when you are a consultant for a huge studio,” Tom nodded in agreement. “Getting to work on Game of Thrones and now, having a business lunch with Kenneth fucking Branagh.”

“You are driven.” He kissed her again.

“I’m swinging with the big dicks now.” Tom looked at her in shock. “It’s an expression.”

“Irish people are nuts.”

[bee-kathony]

Donuts, Drives, and Dinnertime | Sam & Cait AU

a/n: inspired by this picture of Sam and Caitriona at dinner after work, I love when they hang out sort of personally. thanks @raelovesoutlander for the help! 

The past week had been hectic. In all honesty, the past couple of weeks had been a lot to handle. With multiple trips to London, and filming in between, Sam and Cait were both spent. On Sunday, Caitriona had to be on set early in the morning to film a new scene Diana had written. Unfortunately that meant she would be going into work alone — without Sam. But, it was a scene set in the 1960’s which meant one more time to wear Claire’s iconic clothes and don the driving glasses she wore.

Meanwhile, Sam stayed behind in London to work on a few new business projects. He also needed to sign scripts for the Omaze campaign donors. Sam and Caitriona weren’t one of those couples that needed to spend every second together. Especially since they worked together practically every day. But it didn’t make the time and days apart any easier. They were each other’s calm centers.

Tuesday rolled around, and finally, a day off. Well, not exactly a day off. They were filming south of Edinburgh tomorrow and they needed to be at location tonight. It was a two hour drive and they would be there for the remainder of the weekend. Sam and Caitriona decided to drive themselves.

“Should we pick up something to eat on the drive?” Caitriona asked, putting her overnight bag into the back of their Audi.

“It’s only two hours, but if you want,” Sam smiled, sliding into the driver’s seat. He’d gotten in from London just yesterday afternoon. Spending hours in the car with Caitriona after a busy couple of days was just what Sam needed.

Pulling out her phone to check nearby food options, she found a donut shop. “Tantrum Donuts? It’s just a few minutes drive down the road, unless of course you’re staying away from sweets again?”

“I don’t think one donut will be bad,” Sam shrugged. “I’ll leave the other eleven for you,” he laughed.

“You make me sound like a pig,” Caitriona squinted her eyes at him as she buckled into the seat.

“You know I’d be eating at least six donuts with you if I weren’t trying to get back into marathon shape,” Sam said and reached for Caitriona’s hand across the dash. “Which reminds me, I really should go for a run later or something, my schedule has been so out of sorts.”

“I’ll come running with you,” Caitriona said and when Sam looked over at her, surprised she started to laugh. “Just kidding. One marathon was enough for me. I think it’ll be a few more years before I attempt another.”

“But you did so well the last time, babe,” Sam squeezed her hand. “I’m still really proud of you for that, you know?”

Blushing, as she always did when Sam complimented her, she squeezed his hand back. “I know. Just like I’m proud of you for signing up for another. You really are the energizer bunny.”

They drove down a few streets, ending up at the donut shop Caitriona had found.

“I’ll just pop in and pick up a dozen? Too many?” She asked, but not waiting to hear the answer before she closed the door and went inside.

The building was really cool, and she’d never seen it before. They had so many different flavors, it was hard to choose, but she picked out some she liked and a few she knew Sam would enjoy.

“That place is bloody amazing,” Caitriona said and opened the box for him to look. “You would not believe the smell.”

“Alright, maybe two,” Sam laughed and reached for a chocolate frosted donut, pulling out onto the street.

During the car journey, they were mostly quiet, enjoying each other’s company. It wasn’t often that they had a chance to drive long distances together. Caitriona was in charge of the music, switching between her favorite bands and then to classical music which Sam said put him to sleep.

“Should we stop by your mum’s house when we head back to Glasgow on Thursday?” Caitriona asked. “It’s on the way right?”

“Yeah it is,” Sam nodded. “I’ll call her tonight and see if she’s free to meet up, she’d love to see you. She was gutted she missed you at the Stirling graduation.”

Sighing, Caitriona let her head fall back on the headrest. She had to work on the day Sam was receiving his first honorary doctorate. But, that didn’t stop her from keeping the livestream up on set and making sure to see him honored.

“I know, I can’t believe I couldn’t leave for a few hours. But someone’s gotta keep the show running,” she poked her tongue out at him and he grinned.

“How’d your filming go on Sunday?” Sam asked. “I forgot to ask you.”

“It went well,” Caitriona nodded and reached at her feet for the donut box, picking up half a donut she had started earlier. “I do love wearing those costumes, and God, the cars! They’re so cool.”

“Alright, alright,” Sam chuckled and glanced over at her.

“I mean,” Caitriona swallowed. “It was horrible and not fun at all.”

Smirking, Sam moved one hand to settle on her thigh. “But really? It was okay?”

“Oh yeah, the scene will be great. It was sort of weird to be filming those kind of scenes, almost like I was back on season three,” she said.

“When we were apart,” Sam made a frowning face and Caitriona reached up to pinch his cheek.

“Yes, exactly,” she laughed.

Another hour in the car later and they’d finally arrived near where they’d be filming. They would be filming some scenes at the Manderston House and they need to be up early.

“Do you want to go for dinner in,” Sam checked his watch, “Thirty minutes or so?”

“Sure,” Caitriona said, following Sam as he walked into the hotel. It was a small charming place.

“I might try and go for a run later, that is if I’m not too full,” he rubbed his hand over his stomach. Caitriona shamelessly admired him as he stood at the check-in desk. He worked so hard on his body, and she got to reap those benefits.

When they reached their room, they both went into unpacking mode. Only staying for a few nights meant light packing, since they’d be on set most of the time in costume. After changing out of their car clothes and into something not so casual, they both headed out for dinner.

They settled on a restaurant across from their hotel, not wanting to venture out too far.

“How are you holding up?” Caitriona asked him once their food arrived. “It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I know you haven’t really had any time to stop.”

Sam took a big bite of his vegetarian pot pie, a bit of comfort food. “Suppose I’m just stressed and a wee bit tired.”

“Wee bit,” Caitriona smiled softly. “I’m sorry about the Henley festival too,” she said, looking down at her plate. “And about that photo we had to take.”

It had nearly been a disaster. Caitriona and Sam were going to go alone, but then she got word that she had to bring a plus one.

“It’s alright, just for looks,” Sam took another bite. “Managed to spend all night with you anyway,” he said and reached for her hand across the table.

“I just know it stresses you out,” Caitriona said. “Him… being there.”

“We can’t really do anything about it, babe,” Sam stroked her palm with his thumb. “But I appreciate your concern. I do, and,” he smirked. “I know how you can make it up to me later.”

“Is that so?” Caitriona matched his smirk.

They finished dinner and headed back to their room. Sam ended up laying down on their bed and falling asleep. But, he woke forty minutes later, hair messy and eyes puffy.

Yawning, he sat up and looked over at Cait. She was laying beside him, reading a book, her glasses perched on the end of her nose.

“You look so studious,” he smiled.

“I didn’t want to wake you, so I thought reading would be quiet,” she smiled and leaned over to kiss him, running her hand through his hair. It had been growing longer, which she loved — something to hold onto.

“What time is it?” He asked, looking around the room for a clock.

“Almost nine,” she answered.

“Jesus,” he ran his hand over his face. “I really do need to go for a run, I’ve been aching to get out and do something.”

“Go now, the sun’s not set yet,” Caitriona nudged his leg. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

Knowing she was right, Sam got up and changed into a blue long sleeve shirt and a pair of shorts. A quick run would be just the sort of thing to get him out of his fog.

“I’ll be back soon, shouldna be a long run,” he said and kissed Cait on her forehead as he left.

Whenever he was tired, or drowsy after lovemaking, his accent always sounded thicker. It was like music to Caitriona’s ears.

While he was out on his run, Caitriona decided to hop in the shower.

She loved being on location and getting to stay somewhere new. Of course, she missed Eddie and her own bed, but it was nice every now and then to get away. Stepping into the shower, she sighed as the water ran over her body, washing away the day. She didn’t bother washing her hair, since it would be hidden under a wig tomorrow.

Lathering up her arms, she rubbed the soap all over her body — down over her stomach and back up over her breasts. She hoped Sam wasn’t too tired after his run, normally he came back energetic and sometimes even aroused.

Caitriona turned off the water, and stepped out into the bathroom. She reached for a white fluffy towel and wrapped it around her body, tucking it in the front so she could use her arms. If Sam was full of energy when she came back, there certainly would be no need for clothes, so she kept her towel on and went back to sit on the bed.

He’d been gone for fifteen minutes, and he said it would just be a quick run. Having nothing else to do, Caitriona grabbed her phone and flicked through her socials. Once she had checked and liked a few photos, she heard her stomach growl.

“I’ll burn this off later,” Caitriona said as she stood up and grabbed a blue icing covered donut from the box.

Just as she went to sit down on the bed, the door opened and Sam walked in. He was covered in sweat, and he laid his phone and keys down on the table.

“Have a good run?” She said through a mouthful of donut.

“Aye,” he grinned, still breathing heavily. “I drove a bit down by the water and ran, twas beautiful. I’m really glad I went and did it.”

“Well, good!” Caitriona grinned and Sam laughed, noticing her teeth were covered in blue frosting.

“You’ve got a little something there,” Sam pointed to her mouth and came to stand in front of her.

Caitriona could smell him. That primal scent of musk and salty sweat. Her face was eye level with his crotch and she thought she saw the slightest bulge. She went to take another bite of the donut, but Sam grabbed it out of her hand.

“You weren’t going to eat this whole thing by yourself were you?” He asked and took a bite. As he did, a glob of bright blue frosting dropped onto her thigh.

“I just showered!” She complained.

“I can see that,” Sam said and set the donut aside. She was about to wipe it off with her finger, but suddenly Sam was getting onto his knees before her. His hand went to her thigh, gripping it firmly.

“I’ll clean it up, babe,” Sam said softly.

Caitriona could still see the light sheen of sweat on his forehead and through his shirt. She watched as Sam bent his head and then his tongue was on her, flat and wet, licking up the frosting. Shivering, Caitriona fell back onto her elbows.

He pushed the towel further up her legs, licking and nibbling her inner thigh as he went. The frosting was long gone, but he wasn’t stopping. Caitriona ran one hand through his hair, gripping onto the back of his neck. He took one long swipe from middle thigh to her groin, earning a quiet whimper from Cait.

Covering her mouth with the back of her hand, Caitriona bit down gently on the skin as he  began to part her legs.

“No,” Sam said and pulled her hand away. “I want to hear ye.”

“We’re in a hotel,” she chuckled.

“So,” he shrugged. “Let them hear.”

Reaching up, Sam pulled at the tuck of her towel and it came undone, falling back onto the bed. His hand cupped her breast, kneading and flicking her nipple with the pad of his thumb. He hadn’t even touched her where she needed him most, but she felt fit to explode.

Sam grabbed her waist and pulled her to the bed, lifting both her legs to rest over her shoulders. She was about to say something, but was silenced whenever his tongue touched her pussy. He was holding her against this mouth, not letting her even move her hips.

“God,” she moaned and flexed her legs, her heels hitting his back.

A chuckle came from his chest, and he moved one hand to open her lips, finding her clit with his tongue and sucking on it.

“Fuck,” Caitriona cursed, and grabbed onto his head. His head was bobbing — moving quickly against her and she already felt swollen. One long digit eased into her and she cried out, her body jerking involuntarily.

“That’s it,” Sam said from between her legs. His grip tightened on her thighs and he began move her body against his face. Hot puffs of air touched her skin between every lick and she knew he probably couldn't breathe — not that he seemed to mind.

Caitriona started to grind against him, her hips lifting off the bed as he held her up to his mouth. His tongue flicked out on her clit, causing her to groan. The sound of her, the taste of her — it was driving him mad. One hand left her thigh and when Cait opened her eyes to look at him, she saw he was now gripping his cock, slowly pumping it back and forth.

The sight of him between her legs, taking pleasure from her was all it took to send her convulsing around his tongue and fingers.

“Oh fuck,” she moaned, her body trembling.

He didn’t wait long before pushing her back onto the bed. His shorts were already in the process of falling down his legs and he stepped out of them, reaching behind him to pull off his shirt. As he moved on top of her, Caitriona’s hands came up, running over his sweat soaked chest.

“I do always like it after you come back from a run,” she commented, biting her bottom lip.

“There’s something about seeing you covered in sweat,” her hand moved down over his stomach and finally wrapped around his hard cock.

Sam groaned, his eyes briefly shutting. He had both hands on either side of her head, holding himself up above her. Beneath him was a gorgeous woman, her eyes locked on his and her hand gripping him in only a way she knew how.

“I want you to fuck me, Sam,” she said, emphasis on the fuck.

“I recall ye said ye would make up the Henley festival, no?” He grinned and rolled over onto his back, pulling her to straddle him. His hands were on her waist, pushing her down against his length.

Caitriona began to gently rock her hips, not taking him inside of her yet, but rubbing her pussy over him. Even his cock was sweaty, and she reached between them, squeezing his balls in her hand, and watching as his face screwed up in pleasure.

He liked to watch her ride him, holding her hips and thrusting up into her. Her breasts bouncing and her face contorting in the most delicious ways.

Slowly, Sam slid his hand up and over her stomach, then cupped one breast, squeezing it as she moved her hips. She likes for him to be rough sometimes and so he squeezes hard, pulling on her nipple.

With one hand on his chest and the other between their bodies, Caitriona takes hold of his cock and sinks down onto it. They both simultaneously moan, a feeling of relief washing over them. Caitriona begins to rock because she can’t help it, the feeling of his cock touching her so deeply she can’t think straight.

Sam moved both hands on her ass to help move her, grinding her down on his cock. It’s almost too much — to see her lose all abandon, to lose all senses as she gyrates her hips. He loves watching her come undone, loves being the reason for it.

“Faster,” she begged and that’s when Sam leaned up and grabbed her, turning and pushing her back flat on the bed and thrust into her, making her cry out. Her leg wraps around his hip and then he’s fucking her balanced on one arm. His hand moved between their bodies, massaging her pussy as he slides into her.

He doesn’t know how much longer he can last, and he can feel his balls tightening. He lowers his body, trying not to crush her as he closes his mouth over hers. The kiss is hungry, wet and desperate. Caitriona practically claws at his back, anchoring herself to him.

The bed is moving with every thrust, but he’s not even worried about being quiet. He only wants to see and feel her come around his cock. With every bit of self-control in him, Sam pulls out until just the tip is inside of her. She barely notices before he slams back into her, jolting her body.

Sam kissed her again, their tongues meeting in the middle and then she’s bites down on his bottom lip, close to drawing blood as her body trembles underneath him.

“Shit, shit, shit,” she mumbled and she comes with her whole body, the sound of her moans filling the room. Sam thrust into her one more time, feeling her pussy clench around him and then he comes, fast and hard.

Rolling onto his side, he slipped out of Caitriona, one arm still laying across her stomach. He hadn’t even been breathing this hard after his run earlier.

“I think I’ll need another shower,” Caitriona said and looks over at him, laughing. “You’ve got a bit of blue frosting in your hair.”

“Oh do I?” Sam sighed and reached up, touching it. “I wonder how that got there?”

Caitriona snuggled up close to him, pulling his arm around her and they laid there, feeling safe in each other’s warmth. At some point they fell asleep, only waking hours later to both of their alarms going off.

++++++

The next day was work as normal, filming scenes, waiting for the next shot. Every now and then before the director would call for rolling, Sam and Cait would exchange a look and burst into a fit of giggles. They knew everyone around them hated them for it, always laughing like children.

Once work was over, they changed into comfy clothes and headed in search for something to eat. They found a small pub called Atelier and went in, looking for good food and a few drinks.

“Want to do a cheese board?” Caitriona asked, looking over the menu. She was starving, and they hadn’t eaten too much on set.

“Sure, looks good. Dinna have to drive tonight, so I’ll get some gin too,” he smiled. Sam reached his hand over the table, interlacing his fingers with Cait’s.

“Excuse me?” Came a voice from behind them and Sam nearly jumped, letting go of Cait’s hand. They both looked over to see a man and a woman, holding a phone. “We’re such big fans of the show, would you mind taking a photo with us?”

“Of course!” Sam smiled. “It’s so lovely to meet you, are you from around here?”

“Aye, we live just around the corner, just came from a work meetin’, I canna believe we ran into ye both!” The woman smiled and then they posed for the picture. They all talked for a little bit before parting ways and Sam and Cait went back to their table.

“Well, shit,” Caitriona said under her breath.

Sam laughed and sighed. “We can’t hide forever, Caitriona.”

“I know that,” she said and ran her hand back through her hair. “Any chance they’ll just keep that picture to themselves?”

“Not a chance, Balfe,” Sam grinned. “Let people have their fun, it’s just dinner, aye?”

Caitriona smirked and reached for his hand, squeezing it again. “Sure, just two friends out for dinner after work.”

[makemagiclegalyoufucks]

Wonder

[Italics are the intro and parts that are not the lyrics: Bold is the Flashback]

"How come you hardly talk about your time in Ealdor?" Arthur asked. He'd ended his training earlier than usual, being distracted the whole time thinking about how an old man stopped him and Merlin in the market the day before and asked Merlin if he was that same 'miracle boy' from Ealdor way back whenever. Merlin said yes and they left it at that.

Merlin shrugged and continued cleaning. "It never really comes up. Plus, it was hardly anything."

"He called you, the clumsiest manservant in all of Camelot, a miracle. It's something ."

"Doctors have come from distant cities, just to see me," Merlin started with a nostalgia lacing his voice and a smile on his face. He stopped picking up the stray clothes and stood there, eyes getting glazed over in recollection. "Stand over my bed, disbelieving what they're seeing."

He was truly young at the time but he remembers all the floods of faces coming in and out of his life. Half of the people were not even certified doctors but instead fellow souls of magic in disguises. Nevertheless, they were all amazed about how an infant could simply make a bottle float his mouth from halfway across the house. that a toddler threw an entire wagon to grab his toy. To be so young and able to do acts seemed to prove he was going to be powerful as he grew. He didn't get it then but he understands the facts that those things were not exactly natural.

Merlin shook his head, putting everything in his arms on the bed and took a seat across from Arthur. "They say I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation," he told him, "and as far as they see, they can offer no explanation." No training, not even able to mutter one word, and he could grow an entire rose bush by the age of two. Magic came to him as if by thought. Such a thing hasn't been seen since the beginnings of the Old Religion.

The smile dropped. Eventually, all the attention turned bad when news about him spread too far and brought a few people that did not want him running wild. Not without their say so.

He remembers some men coming in and threatening his mother, saying they'll take him anyway whether she breathes or not. She told them they had the wrong house. The tall one saw Merlin hiding behind the edge of the doorway, held a knife up to Hunith's neck and told him that he'd kill her unless Merlin showed them that they didn't waste their time coming there.

"Newspapers ask intimate questions, want confessions," Merlin trailed off, mumbling mostly to himself. This is the part he did not want to share with anyone. What son sits there and allows his own mother to be murdered? The man knew that answer and got it in full.

"They reach into my head to steal." the knife shot out of the man's hand and embedded itself into one of his friend's gut. The rest of the men rushed to grab him. "The glory of my story, " Merlin's voice took on a darker tone, hands gripping tightly onto his pants. Arthur noticed the change within seconds and rushed over to pull him into a hug.

"It's alright. You're safe here. Take your time."

The raven allowed himself to be comforted, one of the few things he has learned to be selfish about, and calmed his breathing. It was in the past, the men are long gone now and his mother is safe and Arthur is by his side in the present.

Merlin resumes the story with a prouder tone. He managed to fend off the men and the whole village was proud of him for protecting his mum. "They say I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation," he bragged, and it is mostly true. Everyone but Will didn't really think to question how exactly the super scrawny boy could do something like fight six grown men but he did. "And as far as they see, they can offer no explanation."

Then, particular faces came into mind. A woman with fair hair and round cheeks with dark eyes leaning over him and a man with a nice beard and his own sparkling orbs. He must have been a baby when they came for he cannot recall seeing them at any point in his life. The man did not seem to talk much and just settled for smiling at him. The woman smiled at him a lot and bounced him around and smelled like the candles that Arthur brings out during the winter, that's what triggered this memory. 

Merlin twisted around giddy in Arthur's arms, hands slapping ridiculously on the other's shoulders. "Ooo, I believe, Fate, Fate smiled and Destiny laughed as she came to my cradle," He breathed, grinning.

"Know this child will be able," 'Destiny' told Hunith, wiggling her finger in baby Merlin's face and making the babe giggle.

He rested his head against Arthur's chest, his eyes staring out into the distance. "Laughed as my body she lifted."

'Fate' nodded as his wife held up the child, lightly tossing him. "Know this child will be gifted." Remembering her husband was not as good with clarity as she were, 'Destiny' continued, "With love, with patience, and with faith."

"He'll make his way, He'll make his way."

"That's dumb," Arthur snorted, shoving a smile into the hair in the nape of Merlin's neck. "Fate and Destiny would never be married. It would be like siblings getting married."

"You do realize Zeus bedded both of his sisters, Hera and Demeter? Right?" the raven huffed.

The blond pulled away, looking him in the eyes. "And he is The Lamest God, my point still stands," he said. "And since when have you been reading on Greek Polytheism?

"Gwen and I have to have something to do while you and Morgana go hunting."

Later on, Merlin gets Arthur ready for the banquet and the King insisted on Merlin wearing the new purple shirt he bought him to coordinate with his red.

"People see me," he whispered as they walked into the dining hall. He could already tell he still had the habit of walking too close in public as the suitress was glaring at him. A night was surely ahwas of them both. "I'm a challenge to your balance," he said, hoping Arthur would  say something; anything. Arthur just smiled and told Merlin that his job is to be attentive by his side no matter what.

"So relax, and pour me a glass."

The night went on without a hitch. Arthur entertained the visiting Lady and Merlin served them and not a drop of wine spilled. Of course, the Lady watched him carefully every time he came up to refill Arthur's glass and how the man drank from his goblet. The air between the two did not go unnoticed and she resigned in her attempts at seducing the King.

Once she headed off to bed and people were getting too drunk to remember where they were, Arthur snatched Merlin by the wrist and shot off to his chambers. Merlin was not as much of an idiot as Arthur always tells him he is. The second the door closed behind him, he started to recite the words Arthur would whisper in his ears late in the night. "I'm over your head," he started. The King wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"Go on."

"How I confound you and astound you," Merlin continue, a smile on his lips as Arthur's kissed at his neck. The feeling was paralyzing and mind-numbing to the point he forgot the rest.

"To know you must be one of the wonders," Arthur coaxed.

"I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation."

And as far as they see, they can offer no explanation; For why would such a king fall for his manservant? Why would such a powerful man fall for someone who already has everything? Too different and all too much the same that they never had a chance.

Hours pass, clothes are strewn all over the room, and the two men lie in bed pressed front to back. Merlin played with his lover's fingers and stared off into the darkness, mumbling to himself. "I believe, Fate smiled and Destiny laughed as she came to my cradle,"

"Know this child will be able."

"Laughed as she came to my mother,"

"Know this child will not suffer."

"Laughed as my body she lifted,"

"Know this child will be gifted with love, with patience and with faith. He'll make his way, He'll make his way."

[shawnpetermuffins]

Family Tours

Request by @it-isnt-in-myy-blood: What about Shawn visiting his parents and Aaliyah in Pickering with his wife and daughter and it's all fluff, but also angst because Shawn will soon leave for tour again. And they know how hard the time and the distance will be for them?

A/n: I love dad!Shawn concepts, so I really liked this one

Warnings: a little angst and a little fluff

Word count: 1.2k

***

Watching my daughter play with her aunt is probably the sweetest thing ever. Or at least one of the sweetest things ever. The first most definitely being my wife doing absolutely anything with my mum. Like right now she's helping her cut the vegetables for the burgers while Dad and I are grilling in the backyard. Well… Dad is grilling; I'm keeping him company.

"How long is tour this time?" He asked, flipping a patty.

I took a swig of the beer in my hand and sighed, "four months."

"And what happens after that?"

"After that… I'm done touring for a while. I guess I'll get back in the studio and start on the next album."

"How's y/n handling all of this travelling?"

I smiled sadly, "Y/n's a trooper. She's been through it all with me. But I know it's still hard on Madi. She hasn't grasped the concept of tour, she just asks for Daddy at bedtime, and no matter where I am, I FaceTime, so I can sing her to sleep.." I hummed to myself while I watched my one year old  give Aaliyah one of her dolls to play with. "Y/n puts up with so much. I don't know how i got so lucky in the wife department." I take another sip of my half empty bottle.

"That you did. It's not everyday you find someone who loves you for who are, not what you have. I know you really struggled with that before you found her."

I nodded,  "Thank God I have her though. She's given me the most beautiful family. A better life than I could ever imagine," I said just as she made her way in front of me, a small smile ghosting at her lips. "Hi, pumpkin."

"Hi, rockstar. Sorry to interrupt. Uh, Karen needs you to get something from the top shelf for her."

"You got it." I reached for her hand and she graciously took it, pulling me with her.

---

"You look different," Aaliyah said while I watched her play with Madi. I shifted in my seat, adjusting my shirt, which was clinging to my stomach.

"How so?"

"Kinda glowy. It is a new foundation?"

"No," I shook my head. "Might just be the lighting?"

"I don't know. Last time I saw you this glowy you were pr-" she looked up at me, realization written all over her face. "Oh, my god! Are you-?"

"Shh…" I brought my finger to my lips. "You can't say anything. I haven't even told Shawn."

She's on her feet in a second, arms wrapping around me in a tight hug. "Congratulations," she whispered into my hair while we held each other close.

I sighed, "Thank you."

"I hope it's boy," she said excitedly.

I nodded, "me too."

Shawn entered the room just as we separated ourselves from each other. "There are my favorite girls. Am I interrupting something?" He asked with a slight chuckle when he saw our shocked faces.

"No," I said all too quickly.

He smiled anyway and made his way over to me. Aaliyah ducked down to pick up Madi. He leaned down and kissed my forehead, taking me left hand in his and kissing the ring on my finger. "You hungry?" His eyes stayed locked on mine, but lips didn't leave my skin.

I only hummed in response.

"Dinner's ready."

"Okay." I whispered.

"I'm still here, you know," Aaliyah scolded, causing me to back away from Shawn with a smile.

"You okay?" Shawn asked quietly while we sat outside with his family. I was sitting in his lap, mostly because I wanted to feel close to him, knowing that tour starts in a week and that once I start showing, and getting more and more pregnant, it won't be comfortable for either of us to be this close.

"I have to tell you something," I whispered into his neck.

"Hmm?" He pushed a strand of hair from my face and placed a gentle kiss to my cheek.

"Madi's gonna be a big sister," I said nonchalantly, but still only loud enough for him to hear it. I moved from the crook of his neck to watch our daughter giggle with her grandparents.

"Y/n?" He looked up at me with those big doe like eyes that looked more brown in this low light. "Are you serious?"

I nodded, grinning wide. "We're having a baby."

He laughed and kissed my lips quickly. "We're pregnant!" He couldn't contain his excitement and said it loud enough that everyone heard.

"You're pregnant?" Karen asked, looking away from her granddaughter who was currently in Manny's arms.

I chuckled, "surprise."

---

I couldn't keep my hands off her stomach. Another baby. Another human that we created out of nothing but pure love, was growing inside my wife. This is the most precious gift she could ever give me and I think I've fallen even more in love with her than I was before. (I didn't even think it was possible until she uttered those words to me for the second time in our marriage.)

We were laying in bed as I rubbed soothing circles over her still flat stomach and she shuddered under my touch. "I love you," I mumbled, staring at her profile.

She looked over at me. "I love you, too."

I leaned down and kissed her stomach. "And I love you, my little peanut. You are already so loved. I'm excited to meet you, and watch you grown." But I stopped there when I realized I wouldn't be there these first four months of the pregnancy. I would miss doctor's appointments and morning sickness. I wouldn't get to take a picture of her growing belly every week. "Fuck," I grumbled and pulled away.

"What's wrong?" My wife asked, eyebrows knitted together.

"I can't go on tour."

"What? Shawn, of course you can. And you will."

"No. You're pregnant. I can't- I can't just miss everything."

"Shawn, baby, stop. It's okay. You're not gonna miss anything."

I glared at her, because she knows that's not true. "Yes I will. Do you know how much happened in the first four months of your pregnancy with Madi? I don't want to miss any of that. The cravings, and the mood swings, and the morning sickness. Watching you just barely start to show. I'm gonna miss all of it because I decided I wanted to tour." I ran my fingers through my hair. "It's not fair to you. You're gonna have to go through this all alone."

"Hey," she took my hand. "I'm not doing this alone," she said sitting up, trying to catch my gaze. "Our families are here. Friends. I won't be alone."

"But I'm the dad."

"Oh you are? That's good to know," she tried to lighten the mood. But I wasn't in the mood for jokes.

"I'm supposed to be there," I said seriously.

"And you will. When you get back. It's four months, you'll still have another five to watch him grow."

"Him?" I asked with a smile.

"Liyah and I think it'll be a boy," she said with a shrug.

"You won't find that out until I get back, right?"

She shook her head, "we can find out together."

I hummed, pressing my forehead against hers. Knowing that made me feel a little better. "Good. Good."

We stayed this way for a few minutes before Madi's cries filled the house.

"I got her," I said and pressed a gentle kiss to y/n's lips.

"Hey, Shawn?" She said when I was almost out the door.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

I couldn't help the blush that flooded my face, "I love you, too."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @bbellbagel @anamariel2301 @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste

This was kinda anticlimactic, but I still really adored this.

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

[lailaliquorice]

you were made to become a sanctuary

The second of seven anon requests, and this was actually sent in by two people! The prompt is “Is that blood?” “...No?” and anon #2 asked for aragon and boleyn, which was what I’d planned anyway so I was v happy!

alternate title: THE SOFTEST ARAGON YOU HAVE EVER SEEN

honestly I love the aragon and boleyn mother/daughter duo so damn much. this has vulnerable aragon and boleyn angst so might just be one of my favourite oneshots yet. that’s all I have to say bc it’s nearly 10pm and I haven’t had dinner yet due to wanting to finish this first lol

tw for blood (obvs lol) and indirect mentions of needles

Despite the fact that Aragon had been a mother longer than anyone else had been, she wasn’t the chief ‘mum friend’ out of the group. That title belonged very firmly to Jane, who never failed to look after them all whenever they needed someone to mother them. From the usually sceptical Cleves who accepted the help while only pretending not to need it, to the very willing Kat who had been in obvious need of a maternal figure from the second she was reincarnated. And Jane was the perfect person to provide that for them all.

But that didn’t mean that Aragon wasn’t the motherly type. She had raised her daughter for fifteen years before her divorce so knew a thing or two about mothering teenagers, meaning that both Jane and Kat had come to her for advice that the two couldn’t take from each other. She knew how to read expressions like words and could always tell when someone was unwell or upset or just needed someone to check in with them. Perhaps she wasn’t as much of an outward mother hen as Jane was, but that didn’t mean she didn’t feel that sort of care towards her younger queens.

As a result, all her alarm bells were sent ringing at the sound of someone stumbling over the doorstep very late one night.

The sound of quiet cursing told her it was Anne, which made sense since she’d gone out after the show to meet with a historian and had told the others not to wait up for her. It was only by chance that Aragon was still awake herself – she’d lost track of time while reading – but she was immediately very glad that she had been as she hurried out of the kitchen towards the front door. Anne was holding onto the doorframe as she clumsily pulled her shoes off, and she would have almost fallen a second time if she hadn’t managed to catch herself on the chest of drawers.

“Are you drunk?” Aragon asked, watching her through concerned eyes.

Anne shook her head, seeming slightly off though Aragon could tell she was trying desperately to play it off. “No, ‘m fine. Just a bit tired,” she insisted, walking past Aragon into the kitchen.

But there was definitely something wrong, Aragon realised as she scrutinised her carefully. A slight limp in her walk, one arm held stiffly to her side, the dazed look in her eyes. She was about to follow Anne when out of the corner of her eye she noticed a dark smear on the doorframe she was sure hadn’t been there before. After casting a quick glance towards Anne to make sure she wasn’t looking she went over to take a closer look, and her stomach dropped when she realised what she’d originally thought was just dirt was actually crimson.

She didn’t say anything as she rushed back into the kitchen and grabbed Anne’s wrist without explanation. Sure enough, there were red stains on her fingertips which confirmed Aragon’s fears. “Is this blood?” she asked, eyeing her intently.

“…No?” Anne answered vaguely, not meeting Aragon’s gaze.

“Anne, please,” Aragon said, refusing to let go of her in case she tried to run off. “This is blood, isn’t it?”

There was a second where she thought Anne was going to deny it again, before her lower lip trembled and she gave a shallow nod. “Yeah,” she whispered, suddenly looking incredibly small.

Aragon’s expression softened at the pitiful sight of her, relaxing her grip on Anne’s wrist as she led her over to the table. “Sit down and let me see,” she ordered gently, waiting with arms outstretched in case Anne needed the support as she sat before pulling up her own chair.

Anne was quiet as she pulled off her jacket, and it was hard for Aragon not to recoil in horror as she saw the deep cuts in Anne’s shoulder from which dark blood flowed sluggishly over pale skin. The pained wince on her face was unmissable as she pulled up her skirt to reveal similar wounds on one knee which the material had stuck to. And when she looked at Aragon for the first time, she saw the shallow graze over one eyebrow which had been hidden by her hair until then.

“I was walking home from the pub where I met the historian and someone grabbed me,” she began without Aragon needing to prompt the story out of her. “I dunno what he wanted, me or my purse probably. Kicked him in the balls to make him let go, but when I tried to go he smashed a bottle and hit me over the shoulder with it, then pushed me over where all the glass was. I just got up and ran the rest of the way home.”

A few tears had rolled down her cheek as she spoke and her breathing had quickened with panic, prompting Aragon to lean forwards and take her hands gently. “Breathe, Anne, you’re home and safe now,” she said, giving Anne a reassuring smile as Anne nodded and inhaled deeply through her nose. “There you go. Now hold tight for a moment while I fetch a few things.”

Anne nodded again, and Aragon squeezed her hands before getting up and heading for the medicine cabinet. She was always grateful in times like these that Jane liked to keep it so well stocked, since the first aid kit was practically overflowing with antiseptic wipes and plasters of all shapes and sizes. After a thought occurred to her she paused in her rummaging to flick the kettle on, and when she sat back down at the table she handed Anne a mug of hot chocolate before laying her medical supplies over the table.

“Drink that, it’ll help with the shock,” she said, giving Anne a knowing smile before she got to work.

A look of confusion crossed Anne’s face as she sniffed the contents of her mug, but it was followed by a tiny smile as she took a sip. “You think of everything,” she quipped in a fragile voice, and Aragon couldn’t help but give a short huff of laughter.

There was mostly silence between them as Aragon cleaned up the gashes on Anne’s knee and down her shin from where she’d landed on the pavement littered with glass shards. Aragon gave herself a moment of relief when she cleaned the grit away and found no glass lodged in any of the cuts, murmuring frequent apologies as Anne flinched away from the sting of the antiseptic. After securing a large square of gauze dressing, she got Anne to turn her chair slightly so she could work on her shoulder.

A thoughtful hum escaped her as she surveyed the circle of deep cuts, noting with growing concern how they were still bleeding profusely and staining her once-white vest top scarlet. “I think you might need to get stitches put in these,” she said quietly.

She felt Anne’s shoulders tense beneath her hands, before she relaxed with a sigh. “Ok,” she said with a nod, looking back at Aragon with a resigned smile. “Are we going now?”

“Yes,” Aragon nodded, getting to her feet first and offering her hands to help Anne stand.

Her support quickly turned out to be well needed when Anne stood up on her injured leg and immediately cursed loudly in agony. Aragon’s arms shot out to catch her as she stumbled over sideways, hopping on her other leg as she fought to regain her balance. “Swear it wasn’t hurting this much when I was running home,” she muttered, letting out a breathless and obviously pained laugh.

“That was probably the adrenaline,” Aragon pointed out, pulling Anne’s arm over her shoulders and putting the other hand on her waist to take as much of her weight as she could. “Come on, let’s get you into the car.”

“Hold up,” Anne said, leaning over to snag the keys off the hook before grabbing onto Aragon’s shoulders again and letting her help her out to the car.

After getting Anne into the passenger seat, an activity that made Aragon wish she had Anna’s strength to just lift her in, they were off to the hospital. Their time in the waiting room was spent with Aragon sat in one chair and Anne laid across about four with her head in Aragon’s lap, and Aragon didn’t even realise she’d started playing with Anne’s hair until Anne let out a happy hum as she relaxed under her touch. Aragon stilled for a second, suddenly afraid of something she couldn’t quite put her finger on, before Anne pouting up at her prompted her to continue.

A voice calling out “Miss Boleyn,” ended the moment between them, and Aragon just smiled down at Anne before helping her to her feet again.

They were taken into a treatment room where thankfully Aragon had an extra pair of hands to help Anne up onto the bed. The doctor quickly confirmed Aragon’s suspicion that stitches were required, and the question if Anne wanted pain relief as the stitches were put in was met with a “Yes” so quick that Aragon had to roll her eyes in both amusement and exasperation.

Anne was sat on the bed facing Aragon as the stitches were put in, holding the gas and air mouthpiece in one hand and clinging onto Aragon with the other. Her scared eyes scarcely left Aragon’s face as the doctor worked, with Aragon murmuring quiet encouragements every time she flinched a little during the procedure. Once everything was finished and the graze on her forehead had been looked at too, they were sent home with instructions on when to change the dressings and an appointment booked in a week’s time to get them removed.

“Catalina?” Anne whined as Aragon attempted with difficulty to get her out of the car once they were home; the painkillers had gone to her head and made her a little loopier than usual. “Catalinaaaaaaa?”

“What is it Anne?” Aragon asked as she finally managed to get Anne onto the driveway, shutting the car door before leading her into the house. The words alone might have come across as fed up, but there was a fond look in her eyes and note of amusement in her voice upon hearing her Spanish name as she helped Anne through the doorway.

Anne was quiet as she watched Aragon take her shoes off. Aragon was beginning to think she’d forgotten her question altogether when she spoke again, looking up at her through wide eyes. “Do you love me?”

The question made Aragon pause for a split second, the same misgivings she’d had in the hospital waiting room flooding back, before she saw the hope in Anne’s face and relaxed. From how they’d started out after their reincarnation, their relationship had grown and changed until Aragon was finding herself thinking of her like she had once thought of her Mary without even realising it. Sometimes that realisation scared her; it wasn’t only the guilt at essentially replacing her daughter, but the fear that something would take Anne away from her in the same way she’d once lost Mary. But, if her second chance was going to be worth anything, she was determined to leave those ghosts firmly in her past.

“I do,” Aragon finally answered just as Anne’s eyes dropped, and she felt her misgivings melt away at the sight of Anne’s grin. “Like you’re my own daughter. And I’m sorry I don’t show it more often.”

Aragon didn’t know how Anne managed it without tripping over her own feet in her inebriated state, but barely a second passed before she had Anne’s arms around her neck in a tight hug. “Thanks mum,” she whispered in Aragon’s ear.

Tears pooled in Aragon’s eyes upon hearing the word she hadn’t heard in nearly five hundred years. Anne’s sudden sway pulled her from her shock and she wrapped her arms around the younger girl’s back, too touched to feel any shame as Anne watched her shed a happy tear.

[brianc521]

Missing Out

You were just tucking Melody in when you heard the front door open and then shut softly. She looked up at you with her big brown eyes.

“Daddy?” She asked with a big smile, her three year old charm melting your heart.

“Shawn?” You asked, hoping he’d hear you from downstairs.

“Yeah?” He called, starting to climb the stairs.

“Daddy!” Melody clapped, pushing her covers away and rushing out of her room to meet him in the hall.

“Melody Grace,” You scold, having just tucked her in for the third time tonight.

“Hey Baby!” Shawn coos, picking up the little girl that was running at him. He rests her on his hip, walking into her dimly lit room, her pink Princess light the only thing illuminating the room.

You smile up at him, his dark grey hat hiding his fluffy curls, eyes tired, face soft but pale.

“Bedtime?” He asks, small pout on his lips.

“Yeah, has been for the past half hour.” You sigh, leaning against her Princess bed.

He nods, looking at the little girl in his arms, kissing her cheek, making her giggle and curl into him. “Come on Princess, time for bed.” He says walking her back to her bed.

He lays her down, pulling her blanket over her body, tucking her in tight with a kiss to her forehead.

“Nigh nigh Daddy,” She whispers to him, blinking heavy.

“Night night Baby,” He whispers back, brushing her curls out of her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too Daddy,” She smiles at him.

“Sweet dreams Princess,” He says pulling your hand up with him, blowing her a kiss and watching her catch it before closing the door to her room.

You sigh, leaning against the wall while he listens to hear if she gets up again. When he doesn’t hear anything he looks to you with a proud smile.

“I don’t understand how you do that,” You groan, walking to your bedroom with him hot on your heels.

“Magic touch Baby,” He grins, wrapping his arms around you, planting kisses to your neck, pulling the both of you to the bed.

You giggle as his light stubble tickles your skin. He smiles, loving your laugh, but also reveling in how he hasn’t heard it lately.

“How was work?” You ask, turning in his arms to see his face.

His happy smile slowly drops, and his eyes lower from your stare. He clears his throat, shrugging.

“Hey,” You whisper, tapping on his nose to get him to look at you. “Talk to me about it.”

“I struggled a lot today,” He sighs. “Tell me about your day first,” He pulls you closer.

“Well,” You start, making a mental note to come back to his day, knowing he just wanted some time to get his mind off it for a bit. “We had breakfast with your Mom,” You smile.

“Mum was in town?” He asks with furrowed brows.

“Yeah she had a showing of a house at 11 so she met us for breakfast at that little cafe downtown.” You nod, softly tracing his pout with your fingertip. “And then we went to the park.” You start recalling your day. “And came home for lunch and a small nap before our first dance lesson.”

“That was today?” He says, slight shrill in his voice.

“Yeah, wrote it on the calendar.” You mumble.

He closes his eyes, nodding. “And then what did you guys do?”

“Well had Spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and we took a bath and had a bedtime story and then you came home and used your magic Daddy skills to get her to go to sleep.”

He sadly smiles at your last bit, lips pursing. “Sounds eventful.” He says hoarsely.

“Yeah it was a busy day, she's like her Dad.” You smile, running your fingers threw his curls, taking his cap off and throwing it on the chair in the corner of the room. “She doesn’t ever want to stop. It’s ‘go, go, go’ all the time. Sometimes I need a break.” You laugh.

“You deserve to relax baby, you do so much.” He says looking around, eyes landing on the clock over your shoulder. “I’ll draw you a bath, take some you time.” He says, rolling away from you before you can object.

You can hear him, getting the tub filled, rifling through the cabinets, muttering a few things to himself before reappearing.

“It’s ready for you,” He offers a hand, which you gladly take. He helps you undress, planting soft kisses to your silky smooth skin. Once you’re settled he kneels beside the tub, offering you a ponytail so you could throw your hair in a tub. “Wine?” He asks.

While tying your hair up you smile. “I think we’re out,” You look at him with a sad smile. “But we have grape juice,” You giggle.

He laughs, big breath coming out of his nose as he shakes his head. “When did we become such parents?” He teases.

“When you knocked me up three years ago?” You swipe some bubbles onto his nose, making him scrunch his face up.

“Grape juice in a wine glass, coming right up.” He stands, bending over to kiss the top of your head before walking out, leaving you to the silent bathroom.

He walks down the hall, peaking in Melody’s room, smiling at her sleeping figure that’s clutching the stuffed elephant he bought her in LA.

He continues downstairs, rounding the corner to the kitchen, grabbing a wine glass and setting it on the counter as he opens the fridge for the juice. When he shuts the fridge his eyes land on the family calendar.

It’s full, mostly with his scribbled ‘Studio’, ‘Interview’, ‘Performance’, ‘LA’ scattered throughout the weeks. But it stands out bright and clear, purple ink making his heart break a little, ‘First Dance Lesson!!’

He sets the juice down, looking back at the calendar and sighing when he notices how all of yours and Melody’s big days land on a studio day, or when he’s in LA.

He scrubs a hand over his face, leaning against the counter, seeing the pile of dinner dishes that you haven’t had a chance to get to yet. He rolls his sleeves up, turning the water on and putting a dab of soap on the sponge.

It’s quiet, and he can think in peace as he cleans the dishes.

This isn’t what he expected when he thought of being a father.

He wanted to be there for bedtime, and breakfast. He wanted to build the bed, and the play structure in the backyard. He wanted shopping for clothes, and being there for dance lessons.

He didn’t want missing her first tooth growing in, or when she started dressing herself. He didn’t want to get home right at bedtime, not seeing her at all the whole day. He didn’t want to be absent.

He knows that’s why he’s struggling in the studio, and at writing sessions. He misses his family, and he’s kind of tired of the superstar life for the moment. He wants to be a dad, and husband, one who is actually there.

He jumps when he hears your voice behind him, snapping him from his thoughts.

“There you are,” You say walking down the steps in his white button up, hair still in a damp bun, glasses perched on your nose.

He looks over at you over his shoulder quickly before looking back down to the pink princess plate in his hand.

“Baby?” You ask, walking up beside him, hand rested on his shoulder. “Shawn are you crying?” You ask, worry thick in your voice.

His eyebrows furrow and it’s then that he notices the sting, and the tear dropping from his eyes.

“I guess I am,” He croaks out, voice breaking.

“Honey what’s wrong?” You ask, grabbing his hands and pulling sponge away from his fingers.

You turn the water off, and dry his hands with the kitchen towel hanging off the oven door. He sniffs, wiping his nose with his hand and sighing.

“Shawn,” You ask looking up at him, scrunching your nose to push your glasses back up your face.

“You know, I forgot about your glasses.” He shakes his head. “And how cute you look in them.”

“Babe,” You grab his chin softly, pulling it over so he has to look at you. “What’s wrong?”

“I missed her dance lesson.” He whispers, more tears falling. “And I’m gonna miss her doctors appointment next week.” He looks at the calendar. “And her next dance lesson.”

“Shawn,” You wrap your hand around his arm, pulling him back to you.

He shakes his head, breaking apart as you hug him. He buries his face in your neck, arms wrapping tight around you. His tears are wetting your neck, and his hiccups shake you both as he tries to take a deep breath.

“Breathe Baby,” You whisper into his ear, leaning up on your toes to hold him tighter.

“I’m a horrible Dad.” He cries into your neck, breaking your heart in the process.

You tug at his curls, pulling his head back so you can see his face.

“You are not,” You say sternly, his red eyes staring into yours so intensely. “You are an amazing Dad.” He shakes his head, eyes shutting.

“I’m never here,”

“Yes you are,” You argue.

“No, I’m not.” He protests. “I miss everything. I saw her for less than two minutes today. How- how is that being a good Dad?”

“Shawn,” You stop him, standing your ground. “Sure, you miss a few bedtimes, or a few outings to the park. But you’re here. If you weren’t she wouldn’t play me songs on the piano every morning, and she wouldn’t requests muffins for lunch everyday,” You smile, pointing out all the ways she’s Shawn. “She wouldn’t make up songs in the bathtub, and she wouldn’t wanna go to concerts, or with you to the studio. She wouldn’t know that her Daddy loves her more than anything in this world.” You caress the side of his face.

He sighs, biting his lip as he looks at you. “You think she knows that?”

“I know she knows that.” You nod, “And she loves you more than anything in this world. She’s the biggest Daddy’s girl, and she’s got you so wrapped around her little finger and knows it.”

He smiles, nodding. “Yeah she does,” He laughs.

“So don’t you ever say that again.” You hit his chest, making him stumble back a step, hips hitting the edge of the counter. His hands pulling you into him, lips crashing onto yours.

“Thank you,” He whispers between kisses, nose bumping against your glasses. “For making me feel better,”

“You just need to get out of your head Shawn Mendes, you’re loved by both girls in this home.”

He smiles, nodding as he kisses you again, tongue sliding against yours. “That was a short bath.” He murmurs against your lips.

“Wandered out to find out where my grape juice went.” You hum as he kisses down your jaw.

“Oh shit,” He pulls away, looking at the empty wine glass and bottle of juice sitting next to it. “I’m sorry, I got all in my head and started the dishes for you.”

“As much as I appreciate that.” You hum, pulling his hand. “I’d much rather have you join me in the bath.”

He looks at you with wide eyes, “Oh?” He follows you out of the kitchen, flipping the light off on his way.

He giggles as you pull him back to the bathroom, fumbling in the cabinets for your bath bomb. “Where is it?” You ask, moving cleaning supplies and make up out of the way.

“We’re out.” He laughs, “I looked earlier, found the empty bag.” He points to the trash where he threw the bag out.

“No!” You whine.

He laughs, “We can still take a bath, just with bubbles,” He shrugs. “This looks good on you by the way,” He tugs at the white button up that’s flashing him a bit of boob.

“We’re gonna need to refill the tub, it’s cold.” You sigh, pulling the plug and waiting for the water to drain.

He sits on the ledge, watching you grab the bubble bath bottle. “All we have is hers.” You giggle, showing him the ‘No tear, Princess Moana Bubble Bath!’

“Bubbles are bubbles.” He shrugs, biting his lip as you plug the tub, starting the water again.

You’re leaned over him as you pour some of the gel mix into the tub, and he smirks, reaching up and unbuttoning your shirt lower, exposing you completely to him.

“Shawn!” You laugh, looking down at his giddy smile.

He blushes and continues unbuttoning. “Take it off.” He whispers, slipping the fabric from your shoulders.

**

You wake the next morning, giggles floating up the stairs to your ears. You open your eyes to see Shawn’s side of the bed empty. You sigh, rolling over and grabbing his ‘Take Me Home’ shirt and pulling it over your head. You then slip your sleep shorts up your legs, jumping a bit to get them up your hips.

You tip toe down the stairs, listening over the banister as Shawn and Melody talk in the kitchen.

“But I want a purple tutu because no one else had a purple tutu. They all had pink like me.” She babbled.

“We can get you purple.” He responds. “Why do you want purple though Baby?”

“Because I want to stand out, how am I supposed to be my own person if I’m like everyone else Daddy?”

You smile, padding down the stairs silently.

“Where’d you learn that smart girl?” He asks.

“You,” She answers, munching on a strawberry in her chair.

Shawn stands at the stove, making eggs and bacon.

“G’Morning Mama,” Melody says when she sees you creep into the kitchen.

Shawn’s head whips over to see you, and your messy bed hair. You bite your lip when you see his shirtless figure in front of you.

“Good Morning,” He hums, leaning over for a kiss.

You smile into his lips, taking his coffee infused taste, moaning softly as his tongue swipes across your bottom lip.

“Good Morning,” You mumble, licking his taste from your lips as he pulls away.

“Mama, Daddy got you a gift.” Melody pipes up, causing you to look up at Shawn with wide eyes.

“A few actually.” He grins, taking your hand and guiding you to your chair, pulling it out for you. “But breakfast first.” He says walking away but returning with your plate of food and cup full of steaming coffee, doctored to your liking.

“Thanks Babe,” You smile up at him.

He smiles, sitting across sitting next to you at the table with his breakfast as well. “Don’t let her fool you,” Shawn smiles over at Melody, “She’s had eggs and three pieces of bacon.” He drops another strawberry to her plate.

Melody giggles, happily taking the berry and smashing it to her mouth.

“Someone must be hungry.” You tap her belly with a smile.

“Mhm!” She nods.

You look back over, sipping at your coffee. “I don’t really want to ask, because this is perfect. But why are you home?” You ask him.

He smiles, “Gift number one, I talked to Andrew. We still have to work everything out, but as of now Shawn Mendes is on hiatus.”

You gasp, choking on your coffee a bit. “Holy crap Babe,” You recover. “Why?”

“It’s time to be with my girls. Andrew agrees, it’s time to take some time off and live my life a little.”

“What about the album?”

“We hadn’t said anything about a new album, we didn’t even allude to writing, so stopping is no issue. And of course I’ll still write here from home, but no more studio, or interviews, or trips to LA.” He looks over his shoulder at the fridge.

He points to it, making your eyes follow.

“Gift two, new calendar. Full of Melody’s activities, that we’ll both be attending.”

“Oh Baby.” You smile at him.

“Gift three,” He continues. “Mum’s taking Melody for the night.” He smiles at his daughter.

“Why?” You ask with furrowed brows, watching him stand and grab two things from under the sink.

“Gifts four and five,” He smiles, holding up your favorite bottle of wine and a sex bath bomb. “We’re celebrating tonight.”

You blush, giggling as you look down.

“Shawn you didn’t have to do this.”

“I did,” He nods, looking at his girls and how happy they both look. He never wants to see anything but smiles on both of your faces. “It’s time to be a family.”