#yes shes hot but shes also trash and just a terrible person overall

[riaki]

WHY DONT U LIKE HIMENO X AKI?? i thot theyre kinda cute 😭 better than aki x makima...

i just. i have a deep hatred for her... she literally tried to gr00m denji and she just annoys me. also bc i love aki he's too good for everyone no one deserves him especially not h*meno ik she smells. AND SHE SAID SHE ONLY LIKES HIM FOR HIS FACE EUGH there aint no way she went to heaven like aki said she did

[lazychickensoup]

𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝐹𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟.

𝑂𝑖𝑘𝑎𝑤𝑎 𝑇𝑜̄𝑟𝑢 𝑥 𝑓𝑒𝑚!𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑑, 𝑔𝑢𝑛 𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒, 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ, 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡.

“Y/n….Y/n?” My head shoots up in response to the voice.

“Yes sorry. What did you say?” I bring my head back down to not make eye contact.

“Y/n it’s been a year since the accident. You haven’t improved much. How about for today we do a vent. Just...let it all out I won’t suggest anything medical, I promise I’m listening though.”

‘Just vent? Does she think it’s that easy? We have been meeting every Thursday for a year now and nothings changed.’

“Fine, how I really feel huh? I want to get over this. I want to move on but I just...can’t. That stupid bastard left me. Alone. He couldn’t fight for just a while longer. He’s selfish. I will never forgive him for leaving like that.” Hot tears streaming down my face as I sob into his jacket sleeve.

How could he?

~One year ago~

“Tooru! Put me down!” I let out a loud laugh grabbing the whole team’s attention. We had just won the match against Karasuno in the Interhigh Qualifiers. We had done it. We made it to nationals. The whole team was out celebrating this wonderful victory, and my boyfriend was being especially clingy tonight. “What’s gotten into you? You haven’t let go of me since we left the tournament.” he looks down at me with adoring eyes his smile bigger than ever.

“It’s because of you that I had the will to keep pushing during the tournament y/n. You are everything to me. Having you up there in the stands screaming my name gives me a huge boost because that lets me know that my #1 is there with me the whole time. You’re my lucky charm. My love. My everything. You have been by my side this whole time. You’ve dealt with all of my lash outs, my breakdowns, my endless nights of practicing. It’s always you. I swear Y/n I would give my life yours in a heartbeat. I love you. Forever.” I’m left speechless as he pulls me into his chest. I wrap my arms around him holding him tight not wanting to end this moment. I release him from my grip and slid my hands to his face. Staring into his chocolate eyes I place my lips on his, pulling away placing our foreheads together.

“I love you Tooru. Forever.” I whisper to him. We take a seat with the rest of the guys and conversate with each other. The night air was filled with joy, friendship, love. Overall, it is one of the most perfect nights of your life.

“Bye Iwa-chan! See you Tuesday!” Oikawa called out to his bestfriend. He waved in response and started his walk back home. After paying our check Oikawa places his hand in mine and starts swaying it back and forth. The night was beautiful, string lights above us on the streets, little traffic so we feel a light breeze every time a car passes us on the road. The air wasn’t too cold but cool enough to have to wear a jacket and to Tooru, it was cold enough to walk like we are conjoined by the waist. He talks and talks and talks, and I listen. I haven’t seen him like this in a long time, he’s so happy. With all that was going on, he was so stressed, not sleeping, over-exerting himself. There were many nights that I thought we were close to ending it, but we stuck through it. I look up to him admiring all his features. His messy soft brown hair, his perfect skin, everything was perfect. Nothing could ruin this night.

“Y/n-chan wait right here.” he held my shoulders to keep me in place. I looked at him confused. He ran into a bakery we were walking past. I sat there for about 10 minutes starting to get scared. Even though it was a beautiful night, it was still night, my paranoia gets the best of me and I walk into the bakery.

“Tooru? Hey, where did you go.” I call out there was no response. The shop smelled of buttercream and f/cake flavor, settling my senses a bit. I sit at a booth and wait patiently a little longer. After a couple more minutes of waiting, Tooru came out holding three boxes. Two the same cubical shape and another smaller rectangular box. He looks out the window and panic came over his face when he realized I wasn’t there. I stand up and grab his attention, he lets out and relieved exhale.

“Come with me princess, there’s one more place we need to go.” I nod and link to his arm. We walked a couple more streets to a park. ‘Oh, my Tooru what do you have planed.’ “Do you recognize this park?” we sit at a certain bench that had a tree shading over it. On the tree was carved ‘O + F/I’.

“Of course I do. It’s the park where we first met.” I sit on the bench and trace my hand over the carved letters. Tooru sits next to me wrapping his arm around my waist. “How could I ever forget when you broke my nose with a stray volleyball?” He opens his mouth in offense then pouts.

“How many times am I going to have to apologize for that. If stupid Iwa-chan didn’t receive it weird I wouldn’t have hit it like that.”

“True but that also means you would have never met me. And that would be a travesty wouldn’t it?”

“Well yes, my love it would be. Although even before that happened you had caught my eye. I was planning to come over to you after the game but was too nervous. That stray volleyball gave me a reason.” I looked at him in fake shock.

“What? The great flirt Tooru Oikawa was too nervous to talk to a girl. No way.” We laugh he looks back at me lovingly while I’m still trying to calm down from my “hilarious” joke.

“Yes, yes it’s true. I was so stunned by your beauty. You just sitting here under this tree reading away. Even then I knew that you are perfect.” he kisses my forehead and pulls out the boxes from before. He hands me one of the cubed ones. I open it to see a f/flavor cupcake. I turn to him and smile big.

“Thank you Tooru. I love these.” I take the cupcake out of the box and start to unwrap and eat it. He interrupts my consumption of the treat with his hand wiping off some frosting from my mouth. Embarrassed I take a napkin and wipe my face. He still holding my face looking lovingly at me. I stare right back at him melting into his chocolate brown eyes. His thumb runs over my bottom lip. My eyes dart from his to his lips back and forth. Inching closer and closer till I finally give in and push my face on his. This kiss wasn’t like a quick ‘I love you’ kiss, nor was it a rough and passionate ‘I love you’ kiss. This was soft and slow. His lips melting and molding perfectly to mine. His tongue pushing for entrance and I let him. He pushes me a little and I lay down on the bench with him hovering above me. My hands travel from his neck up into his soft locks. I tug lightly earning a low moan making my heart flutter. We finally pull away, my lungs flood with air once again. He helps me back up and lays me on his chest.

“I see I still leave you breathless my love. I guess it’s even then.” he chuckles readjusting his glasses.

“Even? How?” I question diving back into my delicious treat.

“Simple. You leave me breathless every time I see you. You are that stunning.”

“Oh my god, Tooru shut up.”

“What it’s true! I don’t know how I’m still alive when someone as beautiful as you are my partner.” he pouts. I finish my cupcake and throw the garbage away in a nearby trash bin. When I walk back to my seat I see the small rectangular box from before. Tooru sits there looking like a mother on Christmas when you are about to open a present.

“Whats this baby?” you pick up the box inspecting the outside of it.

“Well, I got it for you about a week ago when I had that huge mental breakdown and you stayed with me. I was so sure that we were going to fail the tournament and I just couldn’t hold myself together. Then, you came over and helped me all through it just by being there you made my day better. When you told me to lay down on you and just tell you what’s wrong I started going on about all the things that I hate about myself. I went on and on, yet you didn’t object once. You didn’t stop me and tell me that I was wrong. You listened. That’s all I needed then. That’s also when I realized that I was so deeply in love with you. Hell Y/n I don’t know what I would do without you. I honestly would be lost. I know I say it all the time but I got this for when I can’t say it okay?” he motions for me to open the box I feel tears run down my face. I don’t deserve someone like Oikawa. When I open the box I audibly gasp. Inside was a necklace that had ‘I love you. Forever.’ engraved in it. I look back at him to see that he was in tears as well. “I love you y/n. Forever. That will never change.” I jump into his arm and hug him tightly. We stayed like that for a while just holding each other. ‘I never want this night to end.’

My phone buzzes I check it to see my alarm going off telling me I have 10 minutes to curfew. Tooru puts the necklace on me and we head back to my house.

The streets were scarce. Maybe a person or two every now and then but other than that it was just us two in the cool night’s breeze. We pass a bar on our last block and out stumbles a very very drunk man. Oikawa holds my hand tighter to assure me that everything was fine. All we had to was pass him and go on with our night. The man looks directly at me and gives a lazy smirk. He starts to drag us towards us. Oikawa’s arm slings around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. I look up at him to see that the lighthearted smile was now gone. His face was very dull and serious. His eyes squinted at the man in front of us.

“Hey there pretty mama.” the man’s words were terribly slurred. ‘How much did they let him drink? I don’t like this.’ I hold on to Oikawa and we keep walking straight. The man sadly didn’t give up when we didn’t respond. “Helloooo. I-I say heyy, pretty mama.” We ignore him once more but I hear his footsteps trailing behind us. We tried losing him by taking a bunch of extra turns so that he wouldn’t end up following us home. At some point, we hadn’t noticed he got closer and I feel a hand on my ass. I jump and look back at him.

“What the hell! Leave me alone. Can’t you see I’m with someone?” I scream at him hoping to get someone’s attention from the houses around us.

“I don’t care. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn’t be going out with a dump like him. Come with me and I’ll give you what you deserve hehe.” He places his hand on my shoulder and Oikawa gives him a blow straight to the face. The man falls to the ground and spits out blood. I run behind Oikawa and grab on to his jacket.

“It’s an okay princess. I promise I’ll protect you till my last breath,” he whispers down to me. He looks back at the man. “Now I don’t know if you have a hearing problem mister but like my lovely girlfriend said. She’s with me. So please leave before things have to get messy.” I pull out my phone and have the police on the dial in case things get too serious. The man sloppily gets back up and reaches into his pocket. I get up next to Oikawa to see what he was grabbing. Out he pulls is a gun.

My heart drops.

‘No way this is happening right now. Why. Why. Why.’

“Ethier the pretty little lady is coming with me or someone is gonna have a bad night.” Oikawa put his hand in front of me. Even though his face isn’t showing he is terrified right now. Tears start forming in my eyes once again except these are most definitely not happy ones.

“Stop it! Please stop! I’ll come with you.” I yell holding my lover’s arms. I let him go and start walking towards him. Oikawa grabs me.

“Y/n what are you doing? No! I just told you I can’t lose you. I’m not losing you…” Oikawa let out a loud sob as he buries his face in my neck. I push him off and smile sadly at him.

“It’s okay my love. I have to protect you too.” I walk over to the guy slowly. Standing next to him I reach in my purse and pull out a pocket knife and pepper spray. I quickly stab the man in the stomach and pepper spray him.

“AGH you little bitch! Oh, you’re gonna get it now.” He takes my arm and throws me to the ground. Holding the gun at me.

He shoots.

‘He shot. I don’t feel anything. What happened.’

I open my eyes and Oikawa is in front of me holding his right shoulder.

‘No. no. no. no.’

Before I could react the man shoots again. “Damn kids. I gotta get out of here.” I open my eyes once more from the loud noise to blood trickling down onto my body. I followed burgundy liquids trail of origin to Tooru’s stomach. I panic and lean him up against the wall.

“No. no. no. no. Tooru stay with me please.” He lifts his head blood coming out of his mouth and nose. I shakily grab my phone and press the dial button.

“110 what is your emergency.”

“Help! Please! My boyfriend has been shot we are on street TA8. Please hurry he’s bleeding a lot.”

“Alright ma’am paramedics are on the way is the victim still conscious?”

“Yes he is but he doesn’t think that’s gonna last long.”

“Alright, where was the victim shot?”

“Uh, t-the right shoulder and his stomach.” As I answer Oikawa starts coughing up blood. I drop the phone and hold his face, his blood covered my hands.

“My love. It’s gonna okay I promise princess.” his smile was weak. He places his hand on mine looking at me the best he could.

“Right. Right, Okay yeah you’re gonna be fine. Please just stay with me Tooru. I can’t lose you either. So don’t leave me.” I move him to my lap and rip up my jacket to cover his wounds till the EMT’s got there.

“And here I thought this was gonna be the most perfect night. Aha, at least I got the two things I wanted most out of today.” His hand tucked some loose hair behind my ear. “Hey, tell Iwa-chan that I guess he won our game streak. 22-21. So close.” he chuckles low continuing to cough out blood.

“This is not the time to be making jokes Oikawa! Stop acting like you aren’t gonna make it.” the sirens blaring noise and lights show against the houses. “See they are almost here Tooru. So don’t you give up yet. I’ll hate you. Forever.” I sob so loudly. I don’t care who sees me right now I just want him to stay.

With his hand still resting on my face and his lid half-open. He says “Hey remember when I told you I would give my life for you? Yeah.... I love you y/n. Forever. Even after death.” his hand falls limp back onto his chest and he lets out his last breath.

I scream out. This is not what was supposed to happen. It should have been me. I shouldn’t have stabbed that guy. It should have been me. Once the EMTs got there they had to pull me away. They lay a sheet over his lifeless body. Iwazumi had come from his house around the corner to see what was going on. When he saw me on the ground going insane and the body being placed in the ambulance he put two and two together. He ran to my side immediately. I jumped at his touch but once I saw who it was I collapsed against his body soaking his shirt with my tear. I hear his sniffles as he holds me closer.

2 weeks later…

Me and Iwa stand side by side above that patch of grass that will cover my lover forever.

“I miss him Iwa. I need him back.” I grab my dress tighter. He pulls me in and I wrap my arms around him.

“I miss him too y/n. We can’t change what happened though.”

“It should have been me.” I sob into his chest. He pulls me back and makes me look him in the face.

“No y/n don’t say that. There was nothing you could do. That idiot who shot him. That’s who it should have been.” The man who had shot Tooru had been identified and caught thankfully we had that little bit of justice. I turn back to the grave decorated with flowers and cards. I touch the cold piece of metal around my neck remembering what he had said when he gave it to me. I bend down and whisper to the tomb.

“I love you Tooru Oikawa. Forever.”

With that, I walk over to Iwazumi he tells me he will meet me in the car.

Iwa walks over to the tomb and sits on the ground next to it. He sits in silence for a few moments before he slams his fist on the ground.

“Dammit shittykawa.” he whimpers. He’s been trying to hold in his tears this whole time. Trying to be strong for you. “You’re such an idiot. I’m sure there was a way that both of you could still be here, but no, you had to be the hero. Like, always the center of attention. You know she is going to crumble without you. I... I’m gonna crumble without you. So you better be watching us at nationals next month from hell. We both know you are there aha.” He stands up and wipes his tears. “I promise to you Tooru. I’ll keep her safe.” he walks back to you waiting in the car. Once he gets in the driver’s seat he takes your hand and looks at you with the most sincere face.

“We are winning nationals. For Oikawa.”

“For my love.”

A/n: AHH I really hope you enjoyed this (no offence but i hope you cryed as well lol)

If you have any request or suggestions please send them in. I love that i’m getting back into writing. :)

Thank you to @shotosgaychangemymind for reading it and reviewing it with me. I am so greatful <3

tags: @tsukkiskitten @bictoeia

[buddha-in-disguise]

I'm not going to review the season finale in quite the same way as I've usually written something afterwards. I'm ultra tired due to distinct lack of sleep. So it is more truncated than I'd intended. Also unedited so advance apologies if something makes no sense or is misspelled etc.

The episode was facing the challenge of not only being edited after COVID-19 shut down production, but what was intended to be the penultimate episode became the finale. So I'm trying to take that into consideration.

First part in Kara's loft. It was choppy. Don't get me wrong, I had nothing against the humour, or the scenes in general. Although they missed the glaring opportunity to place a "flew here on a bus," moment! It felt pretty disappointing they didn't recognise what has become an iconic line within the SG fandom, and made it even more iconic.

Before the bus though, back at the loft, considering that Lena had literally only just arrived at Kara's, with all that entails, it felt completely out of place for that context. Did it have been overwhelming heavy at that point? Absolutely not. But it was too close to slapstick at times for me and internally I was cringing. I admit, I'm not sure where they could've put it in, but perhaps if they'd just lowered it a fraction, made it a little more subtle a couple of times, it would've helped for me.

Some of the dialogue (especially early on) was also all over the place for me. It did get better as the episode wore on, but I wonder how much was the need to redo parts of the episode because of COVID-19? Unless they think to put an episode as intended in a future season DVD (perhaps S6 DVD), or someone gives us full details via an interview we will probably never know.

Which brought me to one piece of dialogue that I wish they'd not put in at all!

In 5.18, as I've spoken about a lot on Twitter especially, the way Lex screams into Lena's face, and Lena's flinch, and how that had been me 20 odd years ago. They then had the line as Lena talks to Kara; "Go ahead. Scream at me if you have to, I know I deserve it."

I know for many, they'd just see it as a line to use, but .... for many of us who have suffered abuse, who recognised (& in some instances were triggered) by last weeks episode, to not have acknowledged why that line was so problematic is worrying. It heavily suggests they're not going to address Lena's trauma and abuse because they really don't understand it (& again, if anyone believes she didn't suffer trauma and abuse, but accept others in SG do, go away with your bias from my page), but considering they haven't addressed much of Kara's trauma, particularly watching Argo destroyed again, being stuck for months during Crisis like they were, etc - then I guess it isn't a surprise.

But it is uncomfortable as hell to watch a line like that glossed over.

Overall though, I did enjoy the episode. Once that 1st half was over, especially (baring a few moments, including watching Alex do her badass Mission Impossible meet Cirque du Soleil moment because that was awesome) it felt much more like SG of previous seasons. So that was great.

Watching Lena as she watched Alex and Kara hug behind her was so emotional. Watching siblings love unconditionally. Something she thought she had with Lex, only to realise he hadn't changed at all. Lena didn't need to say anything, as once again Katie's acting brought all the emotion Lena was feeling to the fore.

Having Lena and Alex mirror they choice of words in regards Kara was pretty iconic. Then having Alex whisper, "Jinx." really made it work.

Seeing Dreamer in her element, including some great lines again. "I can't believe you left to fight Earth, Wind & Fire without us." "Guess they didn't take the bait? Maybe you should've been meaner?" As they begin the fight with J'onn, M'gann Alex and Dreamer - Alex to Dreamer: "You ready?" Dreamer. "Nope." Alex. "Me neither." Dreamer at her best imo.

Kelly going all, damn my girlfriend is hot & I want sex right now despite the circumstances was pretty cute and funny.

The Kara and Lena monologues being in unison. Now that was pretty amazing and one of the best parts of the whole episode imo.. But again, you feel as if they're matching Lena and Kara together with those scenes as a couple.

Lena not only protecting Kara, but stopped Andrea from going down a dark path as Acrata. Was also great.

Last frame of Lillian. Does it turn out she is the head of Leviathan? Because again they laid out more than once the leader was a woman. It has been noted several times now in different episodes. I was hoping Lena's biological mother, considering she knew of the legend of Acrata, but it is now looking more likely this reincarnation of Lillian is who it is, unless it is a character we've not been introduced to, but I highly doubt that.

The 2nd half of the episode was what we missed so much this season. In fact aspects throughout the episode were missing for too much this season.

This includes the women being the focal point of it. Brainy though absolutely rightly taking a strong subplot to what else was going on. J'onn ably supported by M'gann. M'gann who managed to advise Nia on embracing her dreams and not trying to avoid part of them. Dansen actually working together and both being badass in their own way (after all, this is something I've advocated for much of the season, & while fantastic to see, it never should've taken this long. Now where have we heard that before?)

But we still have glaring unanswered questions that I can't imagine would've been answered in 5.20.

Every indication since 5.17 is Kelly knows Kara is Supergirl. Yet we don't know for certain, because they've failed to show us how or when. I've said before, considering every other person who knows Kara is Supergirl, we had them tripping over themselves to explain to the audience how it happened. I'm pretty annoyed that we as the audience don't get given the same courtesy with Kelly. This is why so many of us feel short changed on some characters this season. The really aggravating thing is would only take a few lines to clear it up!

Now onto Alex. This ties in with J'onn. Where are they getting the money to survive? Did J'onn manage to accumulate enough over all the years he was on Earth to finance everything & pay Alex a wage? No clue.

Also, are Kelly & Alex living together? Or do they have keys to each others apartments? Yes, Kelly was at Alex's in 5.17 so the answer is pretty much yes, but nothing has been said! We knew more about Brainy & Nia's living arrangements from 5a than we do Kelly & Alex.

Kara's trauma. Lena's abuse & trauma. See above.

Lastly, the one most I know want (except a few vocally against), leaning towards Supercorp becoming canon. Again for another season, we end up with the, 'Maybe they'll do it next season.' being said. Particularly as in 5a they really went all out on Supercorp parallels to Clois and at times Dansen, plus even a little on Brainia. But unless something pretty fundamental changes behind the scenes, they're going to recognise what their biggest draw is, keep baiting but never fully go into it. And that is what I fear the most. When you've got media, even non-Supergirl fans saying it, but the show refusing to acknowledge it - that could be their legacy, and it will not look good or have a lot of fans look back kindly on them for it.

The 4 seasons it took for Lena to find out Kara was Supergirl was, in the end, terribly executed. This waxing and waning as well of; is Lena good or bad? Will she follow in the Luthor footsteps?

She is flawed. She's made some pretty awful mistakes. But now they're said she is good. She isn't evil or a villain. So now that line they've drawn needs to stay there! No more ambiguity on her character being a villain.

But you know what's not good? Feeling you can't trust the show to draw a line under that aspect of the character. That doesn't mean you have to have any one of them not be flawed, or to even cross some lines (they've all done it at some point, some moreso than others, but not one character is innocent).

When the show is now generating that level of mistrust on how they could handle future events, that is a problem.

Season 5 overall (particularly 5b) was absolutely horrendously bad. It had some moments of sheer brilliance (either individual scenes, or some episodes), but the rest was just flat out awful. Irrelevant. Messy. No cohesion. 5b became too much of the Lex Luthor show. Certain character additions were vastly unpopular and definitely caused down turns in viewer numbers (& again, from far more than a section of fandom). As did keeping Lena away from everyone for so long.

To sum up. Season 5 was a disaster.

Season 6 needs to have considerably different direction to even try & pull back some viewers (if they can at all). Distrust is rife.

The worst is no-one in the cast deserved this, especially as they're so talented. Some of the performances, even with how poor much of the season was, have been magnificent. But as the saying goes, you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.

I've never been so relieved a season is finally over. We'll watch our favourite episodes for sure, of which there aren't many, but a full rewatch of the season we normally do will not be happening. Some episodes were better off consigned to the trash.

[miggydiaz]

OC asks: 3, 11, 21, 36, 50, & 92

I love that you are always ready to assist me in procrastination, what would I do without you?

3. What is the meaning behind their name? Do they have any nicknames? Jinx’s nickname being Jinx stems from sharing her full name with her grandmother. Virginia Louise Holliday I, also known as Ginny, is a witchy old woman who lives at the border of Riverdale/Greendale in a small house where she feeds a ton of stray cats. She has a rocking chair on her front porch, and sometimes sits there with a shot gun that she once threatened Grandpa Forsythe with because he was being a drunk menace to her husband. Her daughter, Gwen, decided to name her own daughter after her mother because her mother has big 70′s second wave feminism energy and even though she can be a bit... chaotic, she’s still a wonderful woman. But Ginny was taken as a nickname, and so she went with Jinxie (which became shortened to Jinx as she got older) instead. Jughead calls her Jinxie when he’s being deliberately and over the top patronizing. He calls her Virginia when he wants to get on her nerves. And her girlfriend, Bernie, calls her Jinxie (affectionate). Matt is just... he’s an every day guy, you know? Played football in high school. Wanted to be an actor. Lost his dad in a robbery and decided to become a cop for ~Good~ and ~Noble~ reasons but is disillusioned with the reality of it. Every Matt I’ve ever known has been a good guy, if not a little messy, and just trying to make it work and that’s Matt Turner in a nutshell. 11. If they could make a mark on history, what would they like it to be? 

Jinx is funny because even though she’s a musician, she actually hates being like... the center of people’s attention. She gets very uncomfortable when people are complimentary of her, but I mean... also, she wouldn’t hate leaving a legacy like Freddie Mercury’s behind either. 60,000 people all singing along to one of her songs in unison at a festival 30 years after her death? Yes please. Matt is more interested in doing what he can to dismantle gross police work from the inside. He is very aware of the ACAB principle (and tbf, that’s also my position so Matt is like... what I WISH cops were? Without being copaganda?), but also, he’s on the inside so he might as well do what he can to actually help. He just loves the community he lives in, and wants to make it better. It’s not a great neighborhood, but he tries to offer an alternative to calling the police to people that he knows or recognizes as coming through the station before. I mean, it’s still technically calling the police, but if he can diffuse a situation without it having to go on the books? He’d rather do it that way. He could be a community activist in another world, but he just wants to be a good example of what community policing could and should be like.

21. What is their favorite thing about their personality? 

Jinx is fiercely loyal to the people she cares about because there’s like... a small handful of them. She is 100% the girl you call when you need something because she just has no compunction about doing whatever needs to be done, as long as it’s for one of her people. She will take secrets to the grave. Trust is a VERY important thing for her because of a horrible past relationship, and she treats it with the utmost respect.

For Matt, it’s his personality. He thinks he’s hilarious... to varying degrees of delusion. He will take things seriously when he needs to, but he is the first one to try and bring levity to the situation. A bit of a goofball, but he just really enjoys making people laugh.

36. What is their sense of humor like? Give an example of a joke they would find humorous. Jinx is a riffer. She’s not much of a ‘let me tell you a joke’ sort of person, but she loves to banter off the cuff, and her and Jug can and will just say stupid shit to each other for hours. Basically, I think of Jug, Jinx, and their cat Mingus as a wholesome Team Rocket from Pokemon, and Jinx fully embraces that. That being said, she has a really TERRIBLE sense of humor. Like, bad jokes are her bread and butter. Like a “What do they call Pringles in Spanish. Prespañol~” bad.

Matt, on the other hand, is genuinely hilarious in that sort of goofballish way and Veronica is constantly laughing at the stuff he says or does. He once found her Monica Posh wig in her closet and put it on immediately, coming out and inventing a whole new alias for himself after she explained Monica Posh to him. When he’s actually telling jokes though instead of just being kind of an idiot, one of his favorites (that he never tells around Veronica because she is both Catholic and Lawyer-to-be in my universe) is as follows: A man and a woman meet in Heaven. They fall in love, and eventually decide that they want to get married. So they go to God and they say “God, we have fallen in love and we want to be married.” So God says to them, okay, let me see what I can do.” A few months later, he finds the couple and says, “okay, I can allow you to get married now.” So they marry. Then, a couple years down the line, they’re fighting a lot. They just can’t reconcile their differences, so they go back to God, and they say “God, we really can’t stand each other any more, and we want to get divorced.” God, displeased, says “It took me four months to find a priest in this joint. How long do you think it’ll take me to find a lawyer?” *insert buh dum tiss here* 50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing? 

Jinx describes her overall aesthetic as Trash Panda chic. A lot of ripped jeans, her doc martens, tank tops, lots of layered jewelry, fishnets and flannel, big Snooki bump. She loves a good vest. Lots of black, and with winged liner sharp enough to stab someone with. She claims the reason her eyebrow raising game is so strong is because it had to do the heavy lifting of an ill-conceived eyebrow ring in high school, which she does not have anymore. It’s a little punk, a little hipstery, but mostly she just looks like she rolled out of a laundry basket... which is usually how she goes about her day.

Matt goes for farmer’s market hot. Good jeans, not too ripped but definitely well worn. Henley. A flannel over top if it’s cool out. He loves a good sweater. In the summer, unless he’s working, it’s a tshirt and jeans. V-necks, usually. For lounging around the house, it’s 100% boxers and his bathrobe while he eats colorful sugary cereal out of a giant jethro sized bowl and watches Saturday college football (he roots for Georgia since he’s originally from Atlanta, and Veronica laments that she has a type: Bulldog football players who just want to be do-gooders).

92. Describe them as a John Mulaney gif. 

Jinx:

Matt: 

[curly-q-reviews]

VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL

Below Her Mouth, 2016 (dir. April Mullen)

WARNING SPOILERS AND LOTS OF SEX TALK AHEAD TREAD WITH CAUTION

HEY Y’ALL we interrupt the regular programming for a special feature!!  i always like to do a lil valentines day special viewing for the sake of being festive and for once ive actually gotten some dating action in my life so i was in the mood to watch some sweet romance and then review it for ur reading pleasure (emphasis on the PLEASURE ehugeguehgehgeugeghe) (assassinate me now i deserve it)

to preface this, i am VERY gay.  well uuhhh bi but a very GAY bi u know??  basically i curse my attraction to men every waking moment of my life.  ive known about this since my last few years of college and am out to basically everyone whos important, and a lot of my friends are lgbtq+ so u know its official and everything.  i dont really claim to be a Gay Expert  cause i actually am still lacking a lot of uuhhh physical experience if u catch my drift HOWEVER like a true scholar i have done my fair share of research.  which mainly includes watching really shitty lesbian movies and mocking them (and every so often watching a rare Good Lesbian Movie and crying A LOT). 

if u are of sapphic inclination as well then u probably already know the kind of reputation lesbian romance movies have overall, the prime examples of which would be movies like Room in Rome and Loving Annabelle.  these movies all seem to have one thing in common, and its that the directors and writers have no goddamn clue about how to write a convincing and authentic lesbian romance.  u also always get the sense that the male gaze is the one being prioritized cause theres always PLENTY of gratuitous sex and the romance part itself is uuhhhh never really developed well or thoroughly enough at all.  these movies are usually about a straight girl who discovers her affinity for the feminine when she meets a total stranger and suddenly cant stop thinking about how much she wants to bang her.  and then in-between all the banging they somehow find the time to fall madly in love with each other but the straight girl just CANT cause shes STRAIGHT or she has a FIANCE or her PARENTS wouldnt approve or whatever the fuck the conflict of the day is and either it ends with them never seeing each other again or with the straight girl coming to terms with her not-straightness and ***follow her heart*** or whatever

really the only lesbian movies i can recall actually enjoying would be Pariah (PLEASE check this movie out its so heart-wrenching and beautiful and its like a majority-black cast!!!) and Blue Is the Warmest Color (this one i loved at first but the more i reflect on it the more problems i find with it, ESPECIALLY with how much sex is in it).  and then The L Word is a stellar tv series up until like the last few seasons which are trash but otherwise it was a great watch for me, especially while i was still figuring things out.  i feel like there are more that ive seen that were pretty good but i cant think of them at the moment WHOOPS LOL

so with Below Her Mouth i was apprehensive but hopeful going in, although i had heard rumors that it was Real Bad.  and u know i shouldve listened to those rumors and not bothered with this movie cause WOW its bad!!!  script is TRASH, acting is TRASH WITH FEBREEZE SPRAYED ON IT, and it looks like an artsy pretentious film student shot it.  natalie krill had maybe one good acting moment in the whole 90-minute run time and erika linder is really really hot and those are the only two good things i can think to say about this

fuck ok uuhhh i guess ill talk about the main characters cause OH WOW theyre basically two walking talking cliches.  jasmine (yes her name is jasmine that totally doesnt sound like the name of a character in a porn at all) is our Token Straight Girl who has a fiance and is a fashion editor.  she first sees our other romantic lead while working on the roof of a house next door to hers.  shes ur typical Lesbian Romance Movie Butch, too cool for school and unable to commit to anyone ever and is kind of an asshole but somehow this is supposed to endear u to her.  oh and guess what her name is.  just guess.  ill give u a few minutes.

DALLAS ITS FUCKING DALLAS HOOWEE WHAT A SHOCKER

the first thing we see of dallas, and this is also the first fuckin shot of the movie, is her uuhhh scissoring her girlfriend???  humping her?????  i really dont know what shes trying to accomplish but shes clearly not having any fun while doing it and her girlfriends like “i love u” and shes like “im moving out bye” and thats it

real compelling i know

so jasmine and her bff manage to stumble upon the lesbian bar in town (which dallas calls a girl party???  why??????) where dallas meets her and proceeds to be completely and utterly creepy in ways ive only ever seen men be which is the first indicator that the person who made this movie, april mullen, is maybe not gay at all (or maybe she is and just has horrible taste?? idk man).  but somehow the creepiness is a real turn on for ol’ jazzy and they start making out IMMEDIATELY but then jasmines like “i have a fiance gotta go!!!!” and yeets herself out of the situation

but of course this is a lesbian romance so u know they meet up again and proceed to have like half an hours worth of steamy gratuitous porn-style sex.  there was a lot of strap-on action involved and a lot of bizarre scissoring that i dont even think i can call scissoring cause it was more like they were just weirdly bumping their vagoos against each other and somehow that was getting them both off.  like sometimes the sex scenes in this movie bordered on tommy wiseau levels of weird. 

oh and of course the fiance finds out about this secret love affair but WOW do they really do this in the most dramatic and unintentionally hilarious way possible.  he literally comes home early from his business trip and walks in on dallas going to town on jasmine with a strap on in the bath tub, like theyre ferociously going at it.  i swear to god i felt like i was watching a comedy at times with this movie

piggybacking off of that, jesus christ this script is bad.  ooooohhhh its so bad.  dallas is given the cringiest tough guy lines, like shes drinking beers with a friend and the friend is like “oh man i gotta catch up to u” and, hilariously, dallas is like “you cant catch up cause nO oNe WiLl EvEr CaTcH mE” and i almost choked on my own saliva.  oh god wait heres another zinger, so when she first meets jasmine shes like “do u come to girl parties often (again why the everloving FUCK is she calling it a girl party????)” and jasmines like “i don’t come at all” and the next thing to come out of dallas’s suave sexy mouth is “TeRriBLe NeWs CaN i ChAnGe ThAt FoR yOu” OH my GOD

and good god shes so creepy.  like some of the shit she pulls is borderline sexual assault.  her and jasmine are just at a bar chillin and dallas reaches down and im like “oh ok shes gonna like put her hand on her knee classic move” but NOPE OH NO she just makes a beeline STRAIGHT for jasmines crotch IN THE MIDDLE OF A BAR!!!  THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!!  OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at one point after another round of passionate lovemaking dallas brings jasmine back to her house and theyre in dallas’s truck and they just??  slap each other???  for no reason?????  except for True Love i guess????????????

jesus.  just.  this was an experience.  i would say dont bother watching it but i did at least have fun making fun of it so if thats ur sort of thing knock ur socks off, its on netflix.  but wow this basically fits the stereotype of a lesbian romance movie PERFECTLY, and when u really break it down its just a fancy porn.  i wouldnt even say its a porn geared towards actual wlw cause theres so many elements about the sex scenes that reminded me of the kind of lesbian porn thats made for straight men to jack off to.  0/10 BAD BYE

well shit ok i hope u all had a great valentines day!!  im gonna go start a roofing business in the hopes that i end up working on a roof of a house thats right next to a really hot straight girl with a fiance so i can try to finger-bang her in the middle of an occupied bar wish me luck!!!!!

[thelearningcat]

I just rewatched the Ugly Truth and I feel like I need a bath.

I will preface this by saying, I watched this when it came out and enjoyed it. I didn’t think it was an amazing romance, but I enjoyed it for the romantic trash I often enjoyed. 

Rewatching it, post-women studies, post-academia, post-growing up and experiencing real relationships, it’s disgusting on so many fronts. 

All the critiques it appears to almost try to criticize, it instead holds up and applauds. 

We have this strong, capable, good at her job, smart woman who is a producer despite being a woman and somewhat young being completely undermined at every term by the men above her at her job and the man she’s supposed to be in charge of. This is nothing to say with the constant sexual harassment, degradation of women, and overall sexist message it constantly purports. 

Hell, Hitch somehow manages a better message than the Ugly Truth. Hitch at least had it turn out that the woman they were trying to lie to liked the guy who was lying better for all the things that were 100% him rather. The Ugly Truth quite literally proved the misogynist right and then rewarded him with our protagonist. 

Maybe this doesn’t come to a surprise to anyone else. I haven’t watched this film probably since 2012 or so, so it has been a hot second. I’m almost scared now to watch The Proposal, because that was a movie that came out the same year that I also liked. 

How in the hell two women could have written this movie is beyond me. At every second it felt terrible and degrading. 

I watch a lot of romantic trash that had terrible messages to women, but they usually at least have some redeeming qualities or empowered women. Not the Ugly Truth. There is literally nothing. No moment in this movie qualifies as redeeming. The love interest learns no lesson to be nicer, the woman isn’t given power over her career, the third wheel love interest doesn’t turn out to be a nice guy, there are no kind and supportive friends, and there are no funny moments that don’t involve the humiliation of the female protagonist I’m supposed to be rooting for.

To end my rant, let me propose how to fix this travesty, if only because it’ll make me feel better to imagine how I would write it better:

Abby takes control of her job and shows she knows better than the assholes who are always just ignoring her clear brilliance and ability to think on her feet. This has to happen for me to feel vindicated for what she has to go through with producing the Ugly Truth. There are three ways I see this going. Option 1: she quits in the end. Instead of Mike quitting or in lieu of him quitting and being told she has to find his replacement, Abby quits instead, declaring she deserves a workplace that values her talent. We are given one reason she stays at a small local network, but it’s not a good enough reason to prevent her from really going somewhere in my opinion, especially not at least to a different network than the trash place she works at. Option 2: there are massive protests against the Ugly Truth, and Abby leads the charge to instead turn the network around to be a feminist dream workplace. I do not buy for a second that 98% of women would like the Ugly Truth. Sure maybe the white women who voted for Trump would like watching it because they’ve been brainwashed to think toxic masculinity is chill, but the rest of us, and even a lot of those women, would disgusted either by the sexism or the non-Christian discussions. Ideally, the networks higher ups would be fired and Abby would be given the reigns to turn it around. Option 3: She turns the Ugly Truth around. By sheer brilliance. She brings in feminist women and men who could counter and argue against Mike’s Ugly Truth. She brings in academics who can show scientifically that Mike’s perspective is wrong. The Ugly Truth turns into a show breaking down the ugly truth about toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. This one is probably my favorite since it lends itself to really enabling Mike to be a better person so he can be a love interest. This is a romantic comedy (or its supposed to be at least), so I’m fine with some acceptance of a love interest. 

We need to overhaul these fucking asshole love interests. Mike and Colin are both absolutely terrible and Abby’s interaction with them give me no reason she would fall for either or them or that they would fall for her.  Let’s start with Colin though, since he’s clearly just the trope “boyfriend who causes conflict by existing”. There is nothing special about him. He’s rich and handsome, the protagonist spends most of the movie thinking he’s the one, he turns out to be a dick, and his being somewhere and the real love interest seeing him makes the real love interest go running. I hate this trope. I much prefer the newer(?), less common trope that I’ve seen in some movies where the established love interest is legit nice and things just don’t work out between him and the protagonist for some reason. I want a Colin who says yes when Abby asks him out. I want a Colin who is clearly turned off (to the audience) whenever Abby tries one of Mike’s ploys, but is too nice to just turn her down for them (because he likes her otherwise). I want a Colin who in the end says they should break up because while Abby is great, because she clearly won’t be honest with him. Or that Abby breaks up with saying that she has feelings for someone else and Colin is just like, cool, let’s be friends, I still like your cat a lot. And we get to see them hanging out on double dates in the end scenes. Mike... Mike is just terrible and there’s no way he can ever get the girl without major changes. In fact, if I just got description of them both, I would assume this was a secret “nice man right in front of you when you are chasing after the asshole trope” wherein Abby gets Colin instead. It would be a nice surprise. However, Mike has some interest character elements that lend itself to a potentially fascinating love interest. First off, let’s get out of the way, he has to learn, or admit, that the Ugly Truth bullshit is just that, bullshit. Otherwise, he can stay in the dumpster he lives in. However, putting that aside, there are some questions would might lend to a much more interesting love interest. His relationship with his nephew is one of them. He clearly is super potentially cute to his nephew and sister. He teaches his nephew terrible things, which is unfortunate, but if we fix that? Let’s say instead of Abby hearing him say that it’s awesome girls are already going to him [the nephew], we instead hear him saying that empowered women are the best and sexiest. Earlier in the movie instead of hearing him say that he should be insulting 20 year olds, we hear him say that he should never insult women, they get that enough from assholes who follow his show. If we have it clearly established that he doesn’t believe the things he says through the lessons he gives his nephew, we would have an easy way to show the dissonance while still seeing the cute uncle-nephew relationship.  This also brings up the potential for why he got started on the Ugly Truth. We get a vague comment once (that’s never answered mind you) about how he got hurt before, but that’s bullshit and a cop-out. I instead want it to have started out as a satire, or maybe he was really hurt from a break up- OR he was really angry when his sister’s baby-daddy left her so he went on youtube and ranted about “The Ugly Truth” about love. Basically, we just need some backstory to believe he stumbled on this character, whether because he was telling the truth for a moment or trying to make a joke, but now he’s earning money doing this and he doesn’t really know how to get out. Maybe he never got a degree because he helped his sister earn money (seriously, it’s so easy to milk this relationship he has with his family) or maybe he got one but its in something that doesn’t make money like art and he doesn’t know how to transition from acting to that. Now he’s stuck, and maybe he’s tired of people assuming he’s the character he plays so he stops disputing them. Maybe he’s knowingly using his male privilege because he knows this character gets along with the creeps who run networks. Maybe he’s just bitter in general and has a hard time turning it off anymore.  On the other hand, I would also accept swapping out a lesbian for Mike and have Abby turn out to be bisexual. The lesbian could say all sorts of bullshit to get on TV and it’d make sense considering what men in charge of entertainment expect women to do to get their airtime. 

At least one supportive friend to the protagonist. We get Joy, her friend/employee? But Joy almost just acts to support the idea that somehow women are okay with Mike. Besides getting Abby dates, we see no reason to suspect she’s actually a friend to Abby. Maybe they are trying to say Abby doesn’t have any friends because she put her career over all else, but I find that really hard to swallow. I spend the majority of my time on work and me-time recuperating from working, but I still have friends that I see semi-regularly and a significant other I spend a lot of time with. 

We need there to be a legit sexual harassment claim filed at this workplace and people to get fired. That’s all. 

[ignitesthestxrs]

its the anon from yesterday! omg of course i forgot to give you anything indicating which scene it is bc i'm trash, sigh. anyways, the most distinctive line from that scene i remember was, like, alina going "how does it feel to be opening up after you've held yourself apart for so long" (or something like that) and then the darkling says something along the lines of "i don't like it, but now that i've been led down this path i can't be turned away" and then he kisses her palm.

ur not trash it’s pretty reasonable to expect an author to have some familiarity with her own fic! also i found it and it’s actually the end of chapter 28 (out of 29 chapters) so. pretty recent oops

anyway! here is the scene:

---------

They cross into Fjerda, and the Darkling comes for her. i try to use possessive language with regards to the darkling and his interactions with alina. even if he’s not behaving especially possessive, i definitely want there to always be a Sense of his feelings of ownerships over her

Alina can tell herself she wasn’t waiting for it all she likes, but lying to herself is becoming more and more difficult the older she gets. The truth is that his absence had started like an annoying tear in a coat, and has since gaped open to a hole. She can feel the cold whistling through. This is a direct result of the above attitude and just....the overall position he holds in her life. the Darkling has very intentionally made sure that he is the most important thing to her, period. Everything he does around her is pretty carefully calculated to ensure that remains the case.

I’m also very into the simile metaphor here just because obviously Alina is warmth/being warm is power to her. She both feels uncomfortable without him, but it’s also that this hold he has over her is dangerous to her and her own power.

“Where are you?”

She’s gotten used to a certain...warmth from this man. Heat, if she’s being honest. He’s not her support, but she can lean on him if she feels the need to rest. This is Alina lying to herself.

There’s nothing of that man in the grim visage before her. His gaze is all ice, and for the first time in an age, she feels small to be under it.

ALL OF THE ABOVE continuing here. Like this is abusive behaviour. This is not a one off bad mood on his part, he intentionally plays her hot and cold like this to keep her off balance. He intends to make her feel small, and it succeeds - which is how we know she’s lying to herself above.

“Hello, lovely to see you, missed you terribly.” I WILL JOKE THIS WHOLE SITUATION OFF and also just her ownb bad temper. Alina doesn’t...fear the Darkling necessarily, anbd as she tries to stretch her own npower she becomes more and more willing to mouth off to him. She drops heavily onto her campbed. Her body aches, and she thinks longingly of her bed in the Little Palace. Maybe she can tease him out of whatever mood he’s stumbled into in her absence. A fairly typical response from someone who is experiencing abusive behaviour - it must be my job to fix it. She ignores the tremble in her hand She’s tired and she hates being treated like this and it’s upsetting, but she needs to be Strong and Powerful so she ignores it.

“Alina.” The name of I Disapprove of Your Behaviour

“Don’t Alina me because you’re in a bad mood,” she snaps, because anger is easier than the chill fear that’s sitting in her gut. This is canon grumpy Alina coming through. Like a core of her personality is that when she’s hurt or mad, she bites. Even if she’s scared. Her fingers tangle in the chain around her neck, and she looks down at the pendant, how the alexandrite changes colour in the flickering light of the brazier in her tent. The alexandrite is him. “Whatever’s happening between you and the king and Ravka, don’t take it out on me. I’m doing exactly what I told you I would do.”

Cool fingers curl under her chin, lifting her head. His expression is impassive, and that terrifies her more than any biting tone. She doesn’t like not being able to read him, doesn’t like feeling so off balance. Possessive, and designed to keep her off balance - it’s a comforting gesture, but is juxtaposed with his bad attitude

Has it always been like this between them? Or is this just because she’s been on her own and in charge for so long that she’s noticing a change? Again, the ‘is this my fault???’ sort of attitude, but mixed with some kind of....acknowledgement that this is not okay.

“Have you crossed into Fjerda?”

“Yes.”

“Are you leaving me, Alina?” a bu s e tactic. the Darkling knows she is not leaving him. he definitely has a very real fear that she would, but he’s arrogant enough at this point to a) ignore it and b) assume that she would never

The words drop like a pebble into the frigid gulf between them. It takes a moment, for the ripples to reach her, for understanding to dawn.

Alina smacks his hand away from her face, surging to her feet. “That’s what this is about?” This is Alina recognising that this is Some Bullshit, but not the extent. Basically this is a false front that he is putting forward and she doesn’t recognise that this is Very Intentional on his part, but she DOES recognise that if it were real (which it is from her perspective) it would still be some bullshit.

He straightens to match her height and then exceed it, although there’s no backing away. This is not him trying to intimidate her, suprisingly. This is him using Dat Sexual Tension to his advantage. It’s basically a ‘remember u wanna kiss me’ move. He’s not really there, but she can feel him, the heat of his body radiating towards her. Everything in her screams forget this, have him, but she sets her jaw and glares at him instead. She is not so easily taken. welp.

“You have your guards,” he says, in a voice like silk. “You have your otkazat’sya. okay he actually. really is mad about mal lol this boy is not in the PLAN. You said the last time we met that you were unhappy with me, and now you are in Fjerda.” which is actually the whole fucking source of this. he’s doing this to keep her close to him while the Threat of Mal is so physically present because he is a petty, petty man.

“Chasing your dream!” No, that’s not quite right. “Our dream. NO, HIS DREAM. You’ve wanted the stag for me for years, and now I’m finally on the verge of having it, you - you’re jealous?”

They both pause at that, Alina breathing hard, the Darkling almost unnaturally still. She turns the words over in her head, tilting her head to one side.

“You’re jealous.” And this is where things start to shift a little.

because he is absolutely jealous.

like all of this is a power play to keep Alina under his control, but he really did not anticipate her reading this as jealousy. she was SUPPOSED to think he was mad at her and worried about what she was doing/leaving him. he defs had the whole thing rationalised in his head without the word jealousy entering it at all, and she’s just sort of busted right through that.

His jaw twitches. He says nothing, because of course he says nothing. A denial would be beneath him. But Alina can taste the truth of the words as they leave her tongue, and Saints, it’s sweet. OH HOW THE TURN TABLES. sort of . she’s still well in his thrall, but this is a real victory for her. it’s just that the power struggle she thinks they’re having and the one they actually are, are two different things.

She pulls off one mirror lined glove to lay a hand on his face, thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. A smile tugs at her lips, all of her bewildered anger abruptly draining away. A raw moment. She’s been holding herself apart from him here because she doesn’t like that he’s mad, but now she’s playing the beneficent saint and allowing him to touch. it’s definitely more...playing power than having it though.

“What’s it like?” she murmurs. “Holding yourself apart for so long, only to find yourself falling, inch by inch?”

His hand closes around her wrist, possession again. this is him quite literally regaining control of her and the situation, even as it appears that she isand for a second she thinks that he’s going to pull it away. But the gentle pressure draws her hand to his mouth instead.

He kisses the centre of her palm. it’s intimate? but this is such a controlled motion. this is basically him packing away all of the suddenly spilled feelings she tugged out of him, and playing a part as he regains his bearings.

“I could have done without it.” truth The silk is gone, leaving only rawness behind. She likes it. he’s mixing fact with fiction here, using his surprise to his advantage in making her fall deeper. “But now that I’m on this path, you might say that I cannot be turned away.”

the Darkling’s whole schtick with this part of the fic is to allow Alina to believe she has more power and control over her life than she actually does, thereby tying her closer to him. He knows that if she....willing allows him to have the driver’s seat while telling herself that she’s actually in charge of the navigation, their partnership is going to work a lot better in his favour. It’s a symbolic collar that he’s working with here, basically.

She believes him.

She shouldn’t.

[heartslogos]

the unclassified texts of the inquisition’s elite [16]

(702): Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.

/

(678): kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party

-

“That's not a challenge,” Evelyn says, taking a sip of her tea and grimacing. It’s still too hot. Maybe she should’ve gotten something with ice this time. “Mahanon, that’s not your sister challenging you in a very passive aggressive way.”

“You don’t know my sister like I do,” Mahanon says, eyes narrowed at his phone before he shoves it into his pocket. “It is most certainly a challenge, because in our specific branch of the Lavellan family tree I am the biggest bitch and I’m not tolerating this insubordination.”

Evelyn pinches the bridge of her nose.

“Mahanon, you’re generally not supposed to aim towards being a bigger bitch than someone. In this specific context she’s trying to comfort Cole.” Evelyn follows Mahanon as he walks out of the cafe, dumping his drink into the trash on the way out. “Mahanon, come on. We were having such a nice and relaxing stake out.”

“Our target hasn’t left that building in the past two hours, either they’re dead or there’s some other way in that we don’t know about. Have Leliana or Bull investigate the floor plans, or send someone in to do a check on it tonight when it’s closed for the day,” Mahanon replies dismissively. “I just didn’t say anything because I was comfortable and didn’t feel like getting up.”

“Mahanon. We’ve wasted two hours here for nothing?”

“It wasn’t a waste, I got free drinks,” Mahanon says, and he turns on her so fast that his ponytail almost smacks her in the face. Evelyn narrowly dodges in time. She doesn’t know how or why, but being hit by Mahanon’s hair hurts more than anything. It’s like his hair is knives.

“She may have succeeded in comforting Cole but she’s succeeded in offending me deeply,” Mahanon says. “And I’m going to make her regret it.”

“Mahanon,” Evelyn groans. “She was trying to tell Cole that sometimes people aren’t nice to each other and explain how being unkind and hurtful in one situation doesn’t make you an overall bad person. Herah just didn’t give you the context for it.”

“So she had to bring me in? And compare us? That was a challenge,” Mahanon declares, “Give me the keys, you drive too slow.”

“You mean at the speed limit?”

“Limits are meant to be broken. Keys.”

“No,” Evelyn says, “I’ll drive us back, you’re too angry to be driving.”

Mahanon flashes her an incredulous look, “Too angry for driving? Really?”

“Yes,” Evelyn walks ahead of them to their car, sighing and sending a warning text to Herah as Mahanon sulkily slides into the front seat. “Were you two always like this?”

“It’s a Lavellan tradition,” Mahanon says, “Every sibling group has to determine the hierarchy.”

“This is fascinating and somehow explains something about the two of you I feel like I’ve been missing since I first met the two of you,” Evelyn says. “Do you guys compare who’s the biggest bitch among…cousin groups?”

“Neria Surana, undoubtedly, and not a single one of us would ever consider challenging her. Honestly, she’s such a distant cousin that I’m fairly sure we aren’t really related anymore, but we respect her authority and she will maintain that title until she so chooses to abdicate,” Mahanon answers.

“You make it sound like a royal title,” Evelyn laughs.

Mahanon blinks at her, “Is it not?”

-

“This is terrible advice for a pitch meeting,” Evelyn says, turning towards Herah and Ellana who just shrug. Evelyn waves her phone at them. “Guys, this is terrible advice.”

“Why did you ask Sera for advice?” Herah replies, taking Evelyn’s phone from her and putting it into Evelyn’s pocket for her. “If you wanted solid advice that wouldn’t end up with hurt feelings and damaged bodies then you wouldn’t have asked Sera for a motivational text speech. I mean, I’m here. Ellana’s here. Max is in the bathroom, and he’s pretty good at motivational speeches.”

“He’s also got terrible food poisoning,” Ellana says, “If he opens his mouth it might not be words that comes out. Why did we bring him? I feel bad for him. Poor thing. I offered to go with him and hold his hair out of his face but he said it’s a public restroom. And I guess that’s supposed to mean something to me.”

“Max is here because he arranged this meeting and if he doesn’t show chances are the other party won’t even hear us out,” Evelyn says, “Again. Why am I here?”

“Because you’re the Inquisitor.”

“Fat lot of good that’s doing me, no one listens to me,” Evelyn squeezes her hands together. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

“No, you had to come here, because this needs to come from you. This isn’t even a pitch  meeting. What are they going to do if they don’t like you? Fight the sky by themselves? Find someone else with a magic glowing hand? I don’t think so. It’s you or death,” Herah straightens Evelyn’s blazer and picks off some lint from the shoulder. “And you’re going to do great. You’ve pulled off things more important than this on less preparation. Excellent clutch plays and stuff.”

Ellana steps closer and adjusts Evelyn’s lapels and starts arranging her hair with deft fingers, “Don’t even worry about it, Evelyn. You’re going to impress everyone and win them over just like you always do. And if you don’t, then Herah and I will look suitably intimidating and we’ll bad cop good cop them into being charmed by you. This isn’t our first rodeo, Evelyn. Don’t be worried.”

“And remember,” Herah squeezes Evelyn’s shoulders, “We’ve got Josephine on our side. There’s nothing Josephine can’t fix because she’s Josephine and a gift from the universe.”

Evelyn looks faintly green, “Hey. Max and I ate the same thing last night. Maybe I have food poisoning too. I feel so bad. We should cancel.”

“Nope,” Ellana smacks Evelyn’s back hard. “Nice try. Now, be comforted by Herah and my presence and go kick in some teeth.”

[autodiscothings]

LI Asks

Wanted to do this without being asked, so did it! For my Surly Boy and his Socialite, since I need to get a handle on them before they turn into angst muffins. I know some who follow are interested in the “ship” side of things, so I’ll share here too. Tiny bit spoilerish.

For the couple:

1. What drew your character to their LI and vice versa?

They were both bystanders standing in the shadows of literal heroes, and had a shared secret history neither could talk about before without the other person completely understanding everything.

2. What was the first moment that they knew they were in love with their LI?

Kolyat fell in love first believe it or not. She was talking about genetics and how they mean shit, that nurture rules over nature; he stopped seeing the alien and saw the person. That, and her butt looked nice in her wiggle dress.

3. When they are having a fight, what is it about and how do they deal with it?

Avoid the other and distant themselves. Distract with work.

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?

He likes her eyes and her thighs and her voice. The Lawson genetically perfect booty is top tier too, obviously.

She likes his shoulders and his scales and yes, that chin. His eyes amuse her now, whereas before they unnerved.

5. How do they comfort each other when they are sad?

Ori is more demonstrative with affection and touching. Kolyat likes it to a point. He’ll make her tea and leaves it next to her, and will hold her hand awkwardly and try to talk through her problems like it’s a case to solve.

6. Who is the big spoon?

Oriana. Kolyat doesn’t like hair in his face when he’s hugging her.

7. Favorite date activity?

The only thing they can tolerate together is ballet (of all things) and vids. Food is tricky; Kolyat is a man who will eat over the sink if he has to, but likes to indulge in fried trash which Oriana is okay with. 

She has dragged him to fancy sushi joints, to which he secretly enjoyed but bitched about the money. “400 credits for three pieces? Honestly Oriana, that’s my entire food budget for the month.”

8. What are their most prominent memories of each other? 

It’s the same:

“I’ll remember her looking over her shoulder at me, always one step ahead. She is always smiling, always.”

“He was scowling at other passengers, waiting for me at the docks. And when he saw me he smiled. I laughed at the time, couldn’t help it. He asked me what was funny, and was annoyed I couldn’t explain why.”

9. How open are they with their feelings?

They’re getting better but Kolyat is still a bottler. Oriana gets upset to the point of tears and is angry that she’s crying, but wants to explain why she’s upset in precise words.

10. Do they have pet names for each other?

‘Ori’ is a nonsense syllable word in Kolyat’s mothertongue, so he has plenty. Oriden. Ma’tori. Tunorien. Orishen is his favourite- it means fish dumpling. White, wobbly balls usually eaten on sticks. He pats her tits and calls them that. (Such a romantic.)

He’s just Kol to her. If she’s being snippy he gets called “darling” or “sweetheart.”

11. Do they have any inside jokes?

Plenty. Fish the Cat has an entire backstory written by them both, where she helps solve crime as a caped crusader, and is in fact Blasto’s secret love child.

12. Do they have similar goals? If they clash, how do they deal?

No. And this is what worries me as their writer. Oriana is getting fed up of Citadel life and probably will only last a few more years before she wants to see stars in the sky and breathe in fresh air. Kolyat loves his damn Ward and job too much.

13. How do they react at being away from each other?

He misses her terribly and will say this to her, but usually in an inept way. She’s never far from his thoughts; in Disconnect he uses memories of Oriana as mental treats to get him through the day.

She will sleep in an old shirt of his, and send him more emails than usual.

14. Is their anything they associate with each other?

Kolyat on Ori: music, violins, make up, tea, tulips, expensive shoes, piles of mess. Pale skinned humans will sometimes trigger a memory. Blue skies.

Oriana on Kol: cats, trivia vids, C-Sec, smell of leather, smell of his scale cleaner.

15. How do they think each other sees the other, and is this different from their own view of themselves?

Oriana understands C-Sec is important, but thinks he’s more than just a cop. Kolyat can see through the smiling “darling-” air kiss “-thank you for coming your donation is so important” falsities Oriana puts on.

16. Jealous at all?

Oddly, no. Kolyat knows Oriana can handle herself and will come back to him. In fact you know what? He finds it hilarious when humans are disgusted he’s with her; he’s happy to lean against the bar and have the place watch her saunter. 

On the other hand Oriana’s had worse experiences with jealousy from others, which Kolyat feels a bit guilty over. Aliens with drell have a certain wild child “party” reputation thanks to the after effects of venom, especially humans.

Drell in general don’t think too kindly to those dating outside their own kind- something you do in your youth, but you best settle down with your own sort young man, and soon. There’s only half a million of us, you know.

17. Their ways of expressing their love.

Kolyat is practical, but he will buy the occasional “saw this thought of you” gift. Oriana’s is also gift based, but she is more quick to tell him she loves him.

18. Is their any way they disappoint each other?

His bottling of emotions.  Choosing work over her. Oriana’s occasional slip into rich girl privilege annoys him- money can’t solve everything, and not every problem can be patched over.

19. Describe how they communicate

Badly. Better in person than in email/vid form, though. There are no distractions facing each other.

20. Did either person change at all, to be with their partner?

Yes. Both are less selfish.

For the creator

21. Personally, do you think they are a good couple?

Yes and no. He loves her, but he also loves work. She loves him, but also wants a life off the Citadel. 

She’s also human- Oriana will live longer than him, probably twice as long thanks to her fancy genetics. They’re both in their 20s now, but are approaching four years together; the subject of building a life somewhere has to come up soon.

22. From the outside looking in, what is their dynamic like?

Oriana is straight up told by Kolyat’s friends (aka his work colleagues) regularly how in the universe did he end up with her, he is punching well above his weight there. Oriana’s friends see the devotion Kolyat has, but find him odd; he’ll drop by her office for lunch sometimes, but he’s seen as polite but distant.

23. Did you tailor your OC for the other in the romance?

Nah it just kind of happened. I based my Oriana on 50s Hollywood glamour icons, where dames were feisty and their lipstick never smeared. I’m still not sure how that happened, let’s blame the detective noir feel of Disconnect.

24. Is their any moment that happens between them that you know happens and just makes you melt?

He holds her and hums ‘you are my sunshine’ sometimes. She has a little creepy musicbox on her shelf that plays it, and one day Kol touches it- it plays, Oriana breaks down, explaining the significance of sunshine (Oriana means golden dawn.) So he hums it to her -albeit badly- when she’s feeling sad.

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

Since I know someone is probably thinking it: yes they do and often, (oh hi Mark) and neither will go beyond the silk tie stage of kink. Kolyat’s venom is countered with meds, though at this point Oriana is immune thanks to good ol’ human adaptability and self-induced Mithridatism. 

She’ll still get the occasional mild rash, usually on her chest. Gone after a hot shower and expensive cream she had made (because the pharmacy one smelt disgusting.)

26. How important is the romance in your their overall story?

It’s Kolyat’s first real relationship and the first woman he loved outside of his mother- so very. It’s Oriana’s first ‘proper’ boyfriend too, the one where she is considering getting a place with.

Essentially both are that First Serious Relationship most people have in their 20s, the first person you live with, etc.

27. What makes you excited about their relationship?

Seeing what I can throw at them and how far they can bend. Looking forward to writing them in the same room at some point, rather than memories.

28. Is their any similarities to your character’s relationship to one you have had IRL?

Kolyat’s somewhat practical approach to romance is from my Swedish beau. “Do you really want a Christmas present? If we wait until the sales I can get you something bigger.”

How they met I based on a girl I fell in love with in my 20s. The first day we met we walked all from Waterloo to Shoreditch, just talking.

29. What are your favorite moments that happen between them?

How they met, which I know and you don’t.

30. How does their love change as they get older?

My mind goes … when I plan their relationship beyond three years of where they are now, so who knows.

31. Share anything you would like about the couple

I want them to stay together, but unsure if they will.

…christ this is depressing. I should go do Dixon/Cam now to cheer myself up.

[lairep]

Chat Noir Finds Out (Part 4)

Summary: Things get serious this chapter. Way serious.

Next Part || Part 1, 2, 3 || Ao3 Link || Other Works

I did say I was gonna post this soon. The next chapter is half-way done and is just as terrible so have this where I set up for all the events and things. c; A lot of just Chat thinking here.

Also, remember when I mentioned that this started out as an angst fic? Welp, here you go.

Chapter 4: Still The Night After Chat Noir Found Out

Chat Noir already knew too much.

After everything was cleaned up—again—and Marinette had changed out of her milk-soaked shirt, Chat Noir decided it was time to finally confess his sins. Because Ladybug totally had a crush on him too and there was nothing to fear anymore.

Except maybe her wrath for betraying her trust, but he was sure she wouldn’t kill him if he explained it was a complete accident. She would surely understand and not decide to murder him. Probably. Hopefully.

But just as he was starting to speak, Marinette let out a despondent sigh, and he was forced to hold his tongue on the matter. Instead, he asked, “Something wrong?”

Marinette looked at him sideways from her chaise and then flopped down on it. “Since you’re here, Chat,” she said as she buried her face in her throw pillow, “I hope you don’t mind if I ask your advice on something.”

He frowned at her tone and rolled the desk chair he was perched on closer to her. Helping his Lady always came before any of his own agendas. “What is it, princess?”

“Well,” Marinette began, sitting up and hugging her pillow to her chest, “Today, my, uh, crush acted really weird.”

Oh, crap. Chat Noir looked sideways at the framed picture of himself on her desk and gulped. This was about the fiasco from this morning. Because of course, it was.

“Yeah, him,” she said, nodding at the photo, and then sighed his name with such strong yearning that he almost fell out of his chair, “Adrien…”

Okay.

No.

Well.

Maybe yes.

Definitely yes.

But also no.

His heart was bursting with delight and his face was on the verge of catching on fire from how hot it was. His insides were warm, fuzzy gloop. His whole body was practically buzzing. The way she said his name just now should be made illegal in Paris. No, in the whole world, all across the continents. It just shouldn’t be allowed, period. For his sake.

It took all his will-power not to tackle her right then and there and squeeze her to him until they’ve basically fused into one, big Marichat entity. No, he was a cool cat. No matter how much he wanted to pounce on her and cuddle her until daybreak, he really shouldn’t. It was highly inappropriate.

“What—” he started but his voice came out an embarrassingly higher octave, so he cleared his throat and tried again, “What happened?”

Marinette blinked out of her love-sick expression (caused by him!) and returned to looking unhappy. “This morning he was really weird,” she began, twiddling her thumbs, “I think I misunderstood something because he, um, he—” her voice rose in pitch “—hesaidIloveyoutomeeeEEE!” She ended with a scream and slammed her face into her pillow. And then continued screaming.

Well, then.

Chat Noir completely understood, though. If Ladybug randomly blurted out ‘I love you’ to him, he would have instantaneously combusted. But it would have been a happy combustion. Marinette was clearly not happily combusting as of the moment and he had a rising suspicion as to why that was.

It wasn’t long before his Lady stopped screaming into her pillow. She straightened up, then looked up at him, expression embarrassed. “S-Sorry about that,” she gasped out, face red, “it’s just… I’ve always dreamt he’d say those three words to me, you know?”

He tried very hard to keep his face neutral as he cooed at her internally. She was so adorable and precious and he vowed that, once everything has been cleared up, he will say those words to her every day for as long they lived.

“But—”

He blinked at her hazily. But what?

“—he took it back immediately afterwards…” Marinette trailed off, looking down at her hands, her expression so crestfallen that it broke his heart into a million pieces. And made him irrationally angry.

What a jerk! What kind of guy tells a girl he loves her and then takes it all back?! If it were him, he would never—

Crap, wait.

That was him.

That morning he had said ‘I love you’ and then immediately took it back.

It was all him.

Chat Noir resisted the urge to toss himself in the trash where he rightfully belonged.

“I mean, I don’t know,” his Lady said quietly, still not looking up. Which was good, because he really didn’t know what expression he had on his face right now. Today was a rollercoaster ride and he was stuck on the loop-the-loop. “Like I said, I might have misunderstood things.” Her face scrunched up, and she let out a small, quite bitter sounding laugh, and continued, “I mean, why would he suddenly ‘love’ me? It’s not like he even noticed me before today.”

He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that of course he had; he’d noticed she was kind, brave, strong-minded, pretty, and overall amazing even before he knew she was Ladybug. But Marinette had gotten up, started pacing, and continued talking, her voice getting higher and her words coming out faster, giving him no space to interrupt.

“Today was so frustrating! It was complete torture! He kept saying my name out of nowhere and I was so hyper-aware of his presence because of that! But then even while that was going on he was completely ignoring me and then Alya said he stole my shoe and threw it away! I had to walk home with mismatched shoes! And then the rest of the day he got all cozy with Chloe and even went on a date with her! She sent texts to everyone bragging about it and they took selfies and they went shopping and they looked like they had so much fun and I know there’s nothing between us but it still really, really hurts!”

Chat Noir didn’t know what to say. Not that there was anything to actually say. He’d been so focused on his own dilemma that he never realized just how his actions would’ve looked like to an outside observer; to Marinette—who, as it turned out, had a crush on him this whole time.

“I definitely misunderstood something,” she whispered to her hands, and she stopped pacing to drop back down her chaise. To his absolute shock and horror, tears had formed in her eyes. “I shouldn’t have let my hopes up even for one moment. No matter how nice that one moment had been…”

There go the shattered pieces of his heart. Her words ground them to dust. They were just dust now. Infinitesimal pieces of heart dust, scattered in the wind. Irrecoverable. Lost in the void.

He could only imagine the state of her heart.

Even if Marinette were not his Ladybug, he wouldn’t have been okay with this. He’d messed up really bad. Like, worse than dead potted plants and milk spat all over her.

He’d hurt her.

Will there ever be a trash can big enough for a piece of garbage his size?

“Tomorrow,” Marinette choked out, clenching her fists, and he wanted nothing more than to put his hands over them and squeeze, “I don’t know what I’ll do if… if they come to class holding hands or announcing they’re official. I don’t think I can take it.”

Chat Noir wanted to scream that it would never happen. He didn’t even like Chloe that way! He only liked one person and that was Ladybug. And she was Ladybug.

But he was stuck where he was because he couldn’t trust himself to move or say anything. He wasn’t sure what other things he’d end up making a mess of if he even tried breathing in her direction.

“But,” she said, wiping at her eyes, her voice a little harder even as she sniffled, “there’s really not much I can do if he likes someone else, you know? I think the most I can do is stop Alya from murdering him tomorrow.” She smiled, like she just told her own private joke, and finally turned her bluebell eyes to his.

Caught by surprise, his breath hitched. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

Marinette furrowed her brows at him, then after a few moments of staring at him, she gasped and covered her mouth, as though realizing something. “Oh, no, Chat! I’m so sorry!” she cried, sounding genuinely apologetic, “I didn’t mean to vent to you like that. That must have been so uncomfortable.”

“NO!” he exclaimed loudly before he could stop himself. Marinette flinched back, stunned, and he raised his hands in a pacifying gesture. “I-I mean, there’s nothing to apologize for, my La—princess. It’s just…” Quickly, he deliberated with himself in his head, wondering if he should come clean now.

Chat Noir wanted to bust out with the truth, just like ripping off a band-aid.

Adrien Agreste wanted to gently ease her into the truth, as that was the considerate thing to do.

(And, in one corner of his mind, he heard that Plagg wanted to eat some cheese, because he was hungry.)

In the end, there was a compromise, and Chadrien decided that they would gently come out with the truth, no easing, just straight-forwardness and honesty, nicely so as not to shock her, but also quickly so the situation wouldn’t escalate further.

‘Marinette,’ he would say, voice deep yet soft, and laced with his love for her, ‘I know for a fact that you did not misunderstand anything. Adrien does love you.”

‘What makes you say that, pretty kitty?’ she would ask, her beautiful bluebell eyes sparkling under her long luscious lashes.

‘Because, my princess, my Lady,’ he would reply, cool as a movie hero coming back home from a mission to blow up an asteroid about to hit the Earth. He would kiss her hand and quietly release his transformation, finishing with, ‘I am Adrien Agreste, and I’ve always loved you.’

Marinette’s eyes would form tears again, but they would be happy tears. ‘Oh, Adrien,’ she would gasp out with that yearning that made his insides gloopy, ‘I love you too!’

He would open his arms to her and she would fall into them, her smile as bright as the morning sun. Then they would gaze into each other’s eyes and find the infinite beauty of the universe in their togetherness.

And then they would live happily ever after.

The end.

Beautiful, straight to the point, no shortcuts or lies, and a happy ending.

Perfect.

Except, he was Chat Noir, embodiment of bad luck and destruction. Hence, the very moment he opened his mouth to begin his happy ending, luck decided it was the perfect time for a phone to suddenly start ringing.

Confused and mildly miffed at the interruption, he whipped his head around to search for the offending phone and Cataclysm it.

“That’s my phone!” Marinette yelped and scrambled up to her loft. He watched glumly as Marinette groped around her bed-sheets for her phone and clumsily tap at it. “Oh, it’s Alya.” He sighed as she picked up the call, a hand held up to him apologetically, and began a conversation. He nodded at her and turned his chair around to give her some privacy.

He tuned out sadly to the soft sounds of Marinette conversing on the phone.

His happy ending was so close, and a phone call had to ruin it.

Why did he ever think things would be that easy?

It felt like his whole life had turned on its head in the past day and a half. He learned of his true love’s real identity by accident, and he learned that she reciprocated his feelings, also by accident. In the same vein, he also learned that he had a great capacity to make a mess of a lot of things. By accident. He killed her plants by accident. He spat milk on her by accident. He broke her heart by accident.

Basically, today he learned that he was a great big (albeit good-looking) ball of accidents waiting to happen.

“—what?!” came Marinette’s voice, cutting him off from his musings. He turned to see her hurriedly climbing back down from her loft, looking at him with a horrified expression, phone held against her ear. “Y-you’re coming over?!” He stiffened up, staring back at her in subdued panic. “You’re at the door?!”

As if on cue, a woman’s voice sounded from the floors below. “Marinette! Alya’s here!”

Marinette let out a yowl that sounded like a cross between a new-born crying for the first time and a cat having his tail stepped on by a neglectful human.

With his hearing, he heard Alya’s surprised, “Girl, what was that?” from both the phone in Marinette’s hand and the floor below them.

Chat Noir sat frozen in his panic, knowing very well that he should move but was unable to get his limbs from working. Meanwhile, Marinette had dropped her phone and was now waving her arms frantically between him and the window, as though trying to articulate something.

“Chat Noir!” she whispered urgently at him, and he stared at her with wide eyes, “go! Window, go—”

There was a knock on her trapdoor, and they both stiffened, eyes trained on each other. “Marinette, open up! Why is your door locked?” came Alya’s muffled voice.

Marinette let out a quieter version of her new-born and cat yowl and approached him to roll the desk chair he was on to the window. At that point, Chat Noir finally got his limbs working, and he grabbed at the windowsill mere moments before Marinette could crash him straight into the glass and throw him out four floors down.

“Marinette?” came Alya’s voice again, and the trapdoor rattled against its locks.

Chat Noir could practically hear horror movie violin music punctuate the panic they both felt at that sound.

“Uh, I come!” Marinette said shakily, then corrected herself, “I mean, I’m coming! I’m just—” she fumbled with the window’s locks just as he did the same, effectively blocking either of them from actually opening it “—not decent!”

She grunted in irritation and smacked his hands away from the window. He let out a “Hey!” of surprise, a little louder than necessary.

She squeaked and slammed both hands to his mouth, just as he did the same. Now both of their hands were on his face, and not opening the window. They stared at each other again, and he vaguely wondered how they managed to get themselves in this situation.  

“…girl, what was that?” came Alya’s voice again, quieter and more contemplative this time.

“No one!” Marinette yelled a little too quickly, and then paled as he pushed against her hands in an effort to tell her that was a dumb thing to say, “I mean, nothing! I mean, there’s no one else here! It’s just me, hahaha!”

Alya didn’t respond, much to their relief.

They stood against the window for a while, just staring at each other, their breathing in sync. Chat Noir felt the furious beat of her pulse from her wrists. He also smelled the scent of cookies and milk on her fingers against his mouth. He couldn’t help himself—he subtly puckered his lips against her fingers in a very light kiss.

His Lady gave him a glare, obviously having felt it, to which he responded with an unapologetic wink. She took her hands away, huffing, and quietly pulled the window open, giving him a subtle push. He mouthed a ‘sorry’ as he put a foot against the windowsill. She responded with shooing motions with her hands, and he chuckled a little because that was way too adorable.

Quickly deciding that he couldn’t possibly ruin anything more for the night, he grabbed one of her hands and laid a kiss on it, just as he usually did for Ladybug. “I’ll see you later, princess,” he murmured, his lips brushing against her skin, and grinned at the rolling of her eyes in response.

“Just go,” Marinette muttered, but didn’t sound displeased. She lightly pushed him out the window and he laughed as he deftly mounted it backwards—

“Is that Chat Noir’s butt?” came a disbelieving voice from directly below him.

Alya’s voice.

Chat Noir gulped and slowly craned his head to look back below him, desperately hoping that it was just his imagination. He found, to his horror, that he was not imagining it, and that Alya was looking back up at him. More accurately, Alya was looking up at his butt from a window on the floor below.

He whipped his head around to face Marinette and she looked like she was going to have a conniption. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, and her lips were pursed together shakily, as though to prevent a scream from spilling out.

Just how many things could he possibly make a mess of in one day?!

“Marinette,” Alya called slowly from below, and he looked back down to find that Marinette’s parents had joined Alya at the window to view his assets, “why is Chat Noir’s butt hanging from your window?”

-

[underimagines]

Roommate headcanons for the main 6 + mettaton and Napstablook?

This is going to be really long, so I’m putting it under a readmore:

Sans Roommate Headcanons:

- He’s always asleep. At the very least, that’s what you see of him. Just asleep like 90% of the time. Well, when his brother & friends aren’t around, at least. But sometimes even then, he’s sneaking in a few Z’s. Listen you can appreciate a good nap now & them, but sometimes you wonder just how much one person (or skeleton) can sleep.

- His brother is...so loud. & so is his brother’s best friend, that fish lady. It’s best to immediately make an excuse to leave for the day once they show up, & it’s not all that big of a shock to come back to a thoroughly wrecked apartment. At least it’s not on fire.

- Sometimes when you’re really busy between classes or work shifts, you’ll come back to some sort of dish waiting for you on your desk. Sometimes it’s pretty good. Sometimes it’s not.

Papyrus Roommate Headcanons:

- He’s always cooking for you, so you’ve either got to learn to fake it till you make it, or upgrade your stomach to Steel, because hoo boy. His classes are making very, very slow progress.

- Sometimes his brother comes by! & makes terrible puns. Ohmygod, he never stops making puns, you can see why it drives Papyrus nuts. At the very least he can hold a decent conversation without screaming. But the puns.

- He’s very clean, so you’ve never got to worry about the apartment getting too dirty. Unless Undyne comes over. Then it’s best to just. Get out for a while.

Undyne Roommate Headcanons:

- Even if you’re not one for exercise, you’d better make room for it. She’s going to get you active, even if it kills her! At least give her one day out of the week for it, she won’t stop bugging you, otherwise.

- Sometimes her friend Papyrus stops by. He’s pretty cool, but they get really rowdy. Keep all your fine china hidden.

- & then there’s her girlfriend, Alphys! She’s sweet, but they watch so much anime. If that’s your thing, you’ll get along great. If not, you’re going to have to blast your music at 100% to drown out the hundredth opening of that “Mew Mew” show they’re always watching.

Alphys Roommate Headcanons:

- Anime. There’s anime everywhere. Posters, pillows, figurines, dvds, manga. It’s everywhere. She is unabashedly an otaku, & you’d better be okay with that or your entire living situation is going to be Absolutely Awkward.

- She doesn’t go out much. Even on the nicest of days, she’d rather just stay huddled in front of her computer, watching her shows or blogging. Which is fine, but sometimes you’ve just gotta get out, you know? If you can persuade her to go with you, you’ll find that she’s actually much better company away from a screen than she is with it.

- Her girlfriend is so cool? & loud. Good golly is she loud. But she makes every visit an interesting one. Something probably gets broken. It’s probably yours. Welp.

Toriel Roommate Headcanons:

- At the very least, you’ll never go hungry. She’s a wonderful cook, & is always trying out new recipes for you both to enjoy. Just watch out for the uh...”Snail Pie.” That’s a personal favorite of hers, but if you’re not someone who likes escargot, then...well, you probably won’t like that either.

- She’s not much one for social media, but she does love to read. The biggest electronic thing she owns is a cellphone, but after some pushing from Frisk, she ended up buying a Kindle. She carries it everywhere, & is always talking to you about the wonderful stories she’s discovered on it.

- Speaking of Frisk, they’re a package deal. You get Toriel, you get Frisk, too. Living with a mom & her kid isn’t as tough as you’d think, but things can get a little awkward at times. If you’re good with kids, though, there’s not really a problem.

Asgore Roommate Headcanons:

- Your room is full of plants. Flowers, cacti, bonsai trees, the walls & shelves are just stuffed to the brim with pots & planters. The man likes his gardening, can you blame him? If you’re the type with pollen allergies, it’s best to start investing in Allergen or something similar, stat.

- Somehow he’s always got tea on hand?? Even if you swore the pot was empty by the time you went to bed, you wake up in the morning to it completely filled with some sort of tea. Golden Flower, mostly, but he’s also growing an attachment to Orange Blossom.

- He’s overall a very quiet roommate, but he’s also very curious (in a kind of embarrassing way). If you’re talking with your friends online, video-chatting, or something like that, he’ll try to initiate conversation with them as well. It’s actually kind of cute, in the same way that a dad trying to “get in” with his kid’s friend group is horrifying-ly charming.

Mettaton Roommate Headcanons:

- Your room is 90% pink, yes, even your side of the room. Listen, darling, he’s got a reputation to uphold, he can’t have you both looking like you live in a pig sty! That means, despite your complaints, the frilly curtains & sparkling throw rugs are staying put.

- Also, get used to waiting a few hours before you can use the bathroom. Beauty takes sacrifice after all, not everyone can leap out of bed looking as good as him! & if that means one of you has to sacrifice hot showers (read: you), then so be it.

- Sometimes Alphys visits, but for the most part she’s very quiet, & keeps to herself. She does try to strike up conversation when Mettaton decides he has to “run out” spontaneously for hours at a time, but if you’re not a fan of anime, things are going to get awkward fast.

Napstablook Roommate Headcanons:

- Listen, they’re messy & they like it that way. It’s called “organized chaos.” Things might seem cluttered to you, but they know exactly where all their stuff is, & they get a little frustrated when you try to constantly clean up behind them. At the very least, you can throw out all the trash. Everything else stays, though.

- Get ready for spontaneous visits from the Underground’s #1 Superstar!! Mettaton visits you two, constantly--so much that you actually might get tired of him. Most of his visits are brief, as he’s sweeping Napstablook out for some band practice & stuff, so at the very least, you don’t have to worry about him constantly posing seductively on your coffee table or whatnot.

- They like background noise. Mostly Spooktunes of some sort, but if that’s not your style, they’re willing to take requests. They’re sure they’ve got something in their collection you’d like.

[xtremedespair3d]

Anime Spring 2018 Final Impressions + Plans for Summer

It’s been a long time since I made the last post on every anime I watched on winter, or posting anything on Tumblr in general, it’s time to come back to talk about what anime I’ve watched this spring season and what I’m going to watch this summer.

WARNING: This list may contain spoilers.

Spring 2018

Golden Kamuy: I’ve looked this one this entire season, even though I may not know much, after watching a few episodes, I was definitely impressed, but there are a few people who are disappointed with how the anime turned out, I kind of understand that, but at the same time it leaves me a sour taste in my mouth.

I’m happy season 2 got announced for October, definitely looking forward for more.

High School DXD Hero: I’ve always been skeptical about this season just by the new art style alone, even if it’s by the same studio that made the Citrus anime, but it seems like Passione pulled it off.

Not only the art is rather nice, as I stated, it looks to be faithful to the light novels, they retconned the Juggernaut Drive moment from Born from episode 0, it took me by surprise and learning that the rest of Born was anime original ruined my life and everything I’ve seen has changed.

Steins;Gate 0: Not a lot to add, but it’s definitely one of the strongest series I’ve seen this season so far.

Tokyo Ghoul:re: As someone who hasn’t read the Tokyo Ghoul:re manga, I’d say this one was decent. I saw this ComicBook post where fans were disappointed by the season finale, but hey, there’s season 2 coming in October.

(Man, what’s with these shows having season 2 in Fall?)

My Hero Academia season 3: It’s lower in my list because, while MHA is really good, I read the manga and I pretty much know everything that happens, even if I forget what happened since it’s been ages since I read the chapters the anime adapts, at least they refresh my memory.

Lupin the 3rd Part 5: This one is good, my only problem is that every few episodes with storylines end, there are those extra episodes that take place in previous jackets, like red jacket and pink jacket Lupin, I can’t help but think those are filler. It’s probably my first time I’ve been mad to filler.

Persona 5: The Animation: Totally did not expect the problems P5A has at all, from animation quality, like terrible fight scenes, to pacing issues, like everything is happening so fast and A-1 decided to rush the 100 hour plot into a 25 episode series. At least it looks better than Persona 4: The Animation.

Given by the episode count I mentioned, I’m looking forward to the surprise teased by the director, I hope I see a lot of people lose their shit like Darling in the Franxx (Heh, A-1), I kind of have the guilty pleassure to see people suffer in this case.

Caligula: This one I really was looking forward to hate. The animation was decent and all but all I can think of is the story, I really don’t like the world at all and I probably don’t care for any of the characters, especially Ritsu.

At the end of episode 10, Ritsu left Mobius and came back to reality alone while all of his friends are left behind, by that point, for some reason I thought “I officially hate Ritsu for that!”, but the more I waited, the less I considered that idea and decided to drop it.

By episode 11, it’s where things are getting worse: The Ritsu we were seeing all along wasn’t even Shikishima Ritsu, it’s a dude called Tachibana Shingo...

...and this dude right here IS THE REAL SHIKISHIMA RITSU!

LIKE... WHAT?!

I thought Mobius Ritsu was Shingo who took Ritsu’s name but it’s actually the real Ritsu who took Shingo’s likeness. Why? Why would he do that? It’s not even explained. (Not sure if the game does)

I wanted to drop around episode 8 but I was 4 episodes left to finish watching this trash, and the more I saw it, I felt interested to know what was going on in the story.

I cared less about everything that happened in this show. It’s not offensively bad as 18if, but seriously, the world of Caligula sucks.

The only highlight of the series I’d give credits for are the post-credits teasers by Pop Team Epic creator, Okawa bkub.

Winter 2018 ongoing

Darling in the Franxx: Darling in the Franxx has grown to be the most divisive series to date, mainly from the “Bitchigo” controversy ever since.

While I definitely enjoy the series and I feel defensive about it, I can’t help but think that this is Trigger (and A-1)’s most controversial anime they’ve produced to have such fan outrage. Speaking of which, I don’t think it’s even being animated by Trigger anymore, it’s probably only A-1 alone along with Trigger animators and they just slapped the Trigger name on the credits. (I’m probably exaggerating), and Darling in the Franxx is not even on Trigger’s website!

If this is another one of Trigger’s big flops (The second one being Kiznaiver which WatchMojo called it “disappointing” which made me pissed so bad considering that I loved Kiznaiver, fucking thanks for the trauma, you cunts. (Don’t ask)), then Trigger, as storytellers, have become one-hit wonders, and that one hit is Kill La Kill. (Speaking of which, it’s getting a video game... developed by the people who made Little Witch Academia: Chamber of Time, which turned out hot garbage, RIP)

As of the writing of this post, the series hasn’t ended yet, so we’re still gonna have to wait how the ending will turn out.

Toji no Miko: This one was alright, for some reason I expected the second cour to be somewhat time-wasting and trying to figure out the story because I was satisfied with the end of the first cour, but this one was decent.

Even if the anime series ended, while the mobage is currently on existence, I’ll never stop making Kancolle x Touken Ranbu jokes, at least the series had its own identity to make up for it.

Grancrest Senki: This one I was the least hopeful to watch, though not as trash as Caligula per se, but it’s just generic fantasy with some political drama, and ridiculously violent (Which there’s nothing wrong with it but the amount of gore is really something from a fantasy anime).

There were a couple of good moments but overall, it was meh.

Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card: I’m a little surprised that Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ended with 22 episodes as opposed to 24 or 25 episodes, overall, I enjoyed the series, hopefully we won’t wait for a long time for another season.

Plans for Summer

Attack on Titan season 3: Reminder that we didn’t have to wait for another 4 years for another Attack on Titan season.

Angels of Death: This one has the potential to be one of the better anime adaptations of an RPG Maker game, unlike Ao Oni which failed spectacularly, considered that the Angels of Death anime is being made by JC Staff.

As of the writing of this video, it’s now confirmed that the total of episodes was 16 episodes, 12 of the regular series, and 4 OVA.

Overlord III: It’s still hard to believe that Overlord II was a winter show and this new season is a summer show, considering that I normally would expect shows having two seasons between winter and fall (Such as Shinmai Maou no Testament (2015) and Bubuki Buranki (2016).)

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs: All I can think of is the titular character, Yuuna, is cute, and hot springs, what’s not to like?

Fate/Extra: Last Encore Illustrais Geocentrism: It still feels weird that Last Encore ended with 10 episodes, but at least there’s going to be more, but it’s going to be a two hour special, in two separate episodes. I thought I’ve seen sources that it was going to be episodes 11-13, I’ve seen a lot of sources and they confuse the heck out of me.

(Finally, a good line-up to watch)

BONUS: FLCL Progressive: Technically, FLCL Progressive came out on June 2nd on Adult Swim/Toonami, unlike the majority of the shows are all July shows.

FLCL Progressive and Alternative have quite the unique releases.

I was so baffled that many of the people I talk with were skeptical about FLCL Progressive, there were even stories of the original creator not wanting to make a sequel in the first place, I never gave a crap and ignored to what they said and just moved on to watch it.

After the first episode, it seems like the reactions were mostly positive (Maybe because a lot of people must be more newcomers than a few veteran FLCL fans), though the one thing that cringed me out was the part where Haruko (disguised as a teacher) made everyone watch porn.

Also, my bigger problem with watching FLCL Progressive (and Alternative) is that I have to watch them English dubbed and the subs got delayed until November (yes, that long; I’m not an English dubbed person, okay?).

Speaking of problems, as I mentioned that it was English dubbed, the parts where the characters say Japanese phrases is absolutely cringey as fuck, and with episode 4, at the beginning of the episode, Hidomi made a Jacksepticeye reference by saying “TOP OF THE MORNING!” and that triggered me so bad.

Speaking of Hidomi Hibajiri, she’s like my only highlight of this entire season, she’s such a cutie.

Like the original FLCL, Progressive and Alternative (I keep counting that one a lot, but, since it’s released on September, it still falls into Summer, I guess?) have 6 episodes, so as of the writing of this post, which ironically it’s almost 2 AM and it’s saturday, so new episode tonight, there’s at least going to be one more episode to end, and Alternative, while the first episode was released as a surprise release on April Fools, the rest of the episodes will be on September.

I wanted to add Tensai Bakabon to the list but now my interest to watch has turned off and I prefer Osomatsu-san over this one (This and Osomatsu-kun are made by Fujio Akatsuka and they’re being animated by Pierrot).

I hope you enjoyed my list of everything I saw this spring (while tryhard reviewing them in the process) and what I plan to watch this summer.

Twitter: @HKomaeda